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park-jimin-isnt-real · 2 years ago

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"edge of tonight" part thirteen ~ the call

pairing: namjoon x reader (lots of platonic ot7 x reader) rating: T 16+ genre: mafia au, angst this part: You finally call Jackson back. tw: mafia au!, angst, swearing, emotional manipulation/abuse, panic attack, jimin is still a little shit word count: ~6.2k track #16: Birdie ~ Avril Lavigne: “Like a bird locked up in a cage.” the edge of tonight masterlist an: did yall know that with this chapter we are officially halfway through eot?? crazy, right?? and finally, this is our first main chapter with Jackson! i can't wait to hear what you guys think of it!! thank you so so so much to @cui-nisi for beta-ing this for me!! she's my new beta so you'll be seeing her around going forward. and as always, the lovely moodboard at the bottom was made by the fantastic @mirahuyooo

The worst part about waking up from drug-induced sleep was the panic that raced through you before anything else. An unfamiliar room, a stiff bed, a sharp pain in your side—it was a recipe that skyrocketed your heart rate and made breathing near impossible. You were in pain, so you weren't dreaming; this was real, and it was far too familiar an experience.

Your eyes squinted against the light of the room, although it was far dimmer than what you remembered falling asleep to. Your limbs still felt heavy as you tried to move them, and you groaned at the stretch of your injured side. You were still entirely dressed, that was a first, but that didn't do much to quell your growing fear.

"Hey there, sleepyhead," a voice filtered in from somewhere next to you. "How are you feeling?

Your answer didn't matter, while you were here they were in charge of you. You needed to get out. You kept fighting to get your eyes open against the last of the drug, kept working to get your arms and legs moving properly.

A fast-paced beeping came from behind you. The person started moving faster than you were, probably going to check on whatever the beep was. "Whoa, hey, Y/N, calm down. Don't hurt yourself." You wouldn't calm down. You wouldn't let yourself stay here, injured and waiting for the next injury.

You managed to get your eyes open. Looking down, you saw an IV still in your arm and could feel the bandages wrapped around your torso. Your hand went to your injured side, grabbing at the scar over your ribs, just above the bandaged wound. Then you yanked the IV out, and rolled off the bed.

"Y/N!"

You ran.

You weren't fully sure where you were, but there was a staircase. Up was better than down, so you headed for that when a hand caught your shoulder and pulled you to a stop.

"Let me go!"

"Y/N, stop!"

"What's going on?" Another voice joined in from somewhere else. They were everywhere, there were so many of them. You couldn't stay here, you couldn't get trapped again, you had to get out.

You ripped yourself away again, feeling something in your side pull painfully, but it wasn't enough to stop you. You threw yourself up the stairs, trying to take them two at a time but not having the energy for it. The adrenaline was the only thing keeping you going. You just had to keep going.

A door at the top of the staircase opened up before you could reach it, a dark silhouette looking down at you. You squinted at the sudden light and stumbled on one of the steps, causing you to fall forward.

"The fuck is going on?"

"Runaway patient," the first voice said. Apparently he wasn't as far behind you as you thought.

Then there were hands on you, turning you over, pulling at your shirt. "NO!" You tried pushing them away, tried getting back up, but it was no use. Tears pricked at your eyes, you couldn't be there again, this couldn't be happening again.

"Hyung, stop! You're scaring her!"

"I gotta check—"

"Get off me!"

"Hyung, seriously, back off."

"HEY." There was a loud clap right in front of your face. "Look at me."

You did as instructed, stilling and looking up from the assault. Your eyes met soft brown ones, ones you had seen before, but not in a dangerous way. You blinked, recognition flooding through you. "Park?"

Jimin smirked. "Hey there, beautiful. You back with us?"

You looked back down, this time realizing it was Jin's hands on you. He was checking the wound he had bandaged, from the gunshot you took saving his girlfriend. Probably making sure you hadn't reopened it in your escape attempt. Looking over your shoulder you saw Yoongi, who was watching Jin with a look that said he wanted to punch the elder.

You weren't going to oppose if he did. You still wanted to punch Jin yourself.

"Okay, so you managed to not rip any of the stitches, somehow," Jin said, having finished his little check-up. He quickly moved your shirt back down, covering you back up, before meeting your eyes. "Care to explain?" He asked you, annoyance firm in his voice.

You clamped your jaw shut, anger replacing the shock. "Ask me how many times I've been knocked out only to wake up in an unfamiliar room in pain." You watched as guilt filled his eyes, and Jin looked away.

"I'm sorry," he said, offering you a hand to help you stand. "I didn't mean to scare you." You ignored his hand, still beyond upset at him, and pushed yourself up on your own despite the pain.

"Scare?" Jimin snickered. "Hyung, I'm pretty sure you flat-out triggered her." He turned back to you, features softening. "You okay?"

"Peachy." Your voice was hard. You turned on your heel and finished going up the last few steps, brushing past Yoongi, hand firm over your wound. You squinted against the light coming in through the windows now that you were out of the darkness of the basement, and headed towards the kitchen.

Taehyung was munching away on some kind of takeout at the table, flipping through a magazine. He looked up as you walked in and offered you a smile around his food. The others were right behind you, always following, never giving you space to breathe. You tried your best to ignore them as you went to the fridge.

"I cooked up some kimchi fried rice last night," Yoongi said. "There should be leftovers."

"As long as Kookie didn't get to it first," Tae interjected.

You searched around for the said fried rice. "Looks like he did." You closed the door and leaned onto the island, hiding the grimace of pain. "How long was I out?" You glanced at the clock on the microwave and saw it read half past three in the afternoon.

Jin sat down across from where you were standing. "A whole day," he said. "I wasn't expecting you to be out that long. I didn't use that much on you, you should've only been out for a few hours." He pulled out a cotton ball and some bandage wrap out of his pocket. It was only then you noticed you were still bleeding from where you pulled the IV out.

"Yeah, I respond really badly to drugs like that, both physically and mentally." You glared at the elder, but still offered your arm to him so he could wrap it. "Maybe ask next time." Jin rolled his eyes, but otherwise didn't respond to you. "Where is everyone? Usually you're all watching me."

"Jungkook's at his gym," Jimin answered, "and Hoseok-hyung and Namjoon-hyung are checking on a lead or something?"

"Jin and I stayed here to watch over you," Yoongi added. He started digging through the fridge, probably looking for something you could eat. You were hungry after having been unconscious for a whole day. "It was quite the push to get Namjoon out of the house while you were out."

"Is Coffee Girl okay?" you asked Jin. You needed to know that everything you'd just gone through wasn't for nothing.

Jin sighed, "She's still a little shaken, but yeah, she'll be fine." He looked at you, softer than he had since you'd woken up. "Thank you for saving her. I don't know what I would've done if…"

"Did you tell her the truth?" You pressed. If Jin didn't, you were going to. She deserved to know, especially after this

Jin nodded, "She said she needed some time to process things, but I promised that we would keep her safe and protected no matter what she decided." You finally relaxed a bit at that. Looked like there would be another girl kept safe by the Y/N Initiative. The name was pretty ridiculous, in your opinion, but at least they got things done.

"Should I dye my hair?"

Jimin's voice broke the solemn atmosphere that had settled. You rolled your eyes at his antics.

"What's wrong with the blond?" Tae asked, turning another page.

"I just wanna change it up, you know? I've been blond for a while, maybe it's time to try something else."

"You sure you're not trying to impress a certain someone?"

"Tae, I will throw you off the roof."

"A fall from that height won't kill him," Yoongi interjected, cutting up various vegetables on the counter.

"Anyway," Jin stood, "I have to get to the hospital. Yoongi offered to stay in today to make sure that you're okay, since he seems to be your favorite now."

"I was always her favorite." You hit his shoulder at the comment. You didn't have favorites. Well, you did back then, and it was pretty obvious which one it was (and it wasn't Yoongi).

"See you later hyung!" Tae called as Jin walked out. You turned to Yoongi, still working at making food for you. You weren't sure exactly what he was making, but you knew it was going to be good.

"Can I have the keys to the car we drove in the other day?" you asked, causing Yoongi to raise an eyebrow. You couldn't drive, so why were you asking for car keys? "I wanna see if my phone fell out of my pocket after I got shot. I need to call Jackson."

"Oh, the phone," Yoongi said. "Um, about that? It's gone."

You pulled on Yoongi's shoulder until he was facing you. "What do you mean, ‘it's gone’?"

"I checked the car after Jin started working on you, trying to find it for you. It wasn't there, so Hoseok and Jungkook drove back to Beanie's to see if it fell out anywhere there. Jungkook retraced the alleyways and Hoseok checked all the cameras, but they couldn't find anything. So your phone's gone."

You were sure your panic was only quelled by the fact that you had Jackson's phone number memorized.

"So," Yoongi continued, turning back to the cooking, "Namjoon had Hoseok get a replacement for you." He reached into his back pocket, where his phone usually was, and pulled a device out. "It's got all the encryptions and safeties that we use, plus all of our numbers in it, just in case."

You carefully took the smart phone from him. It was a little heavier than what you were used to, and bigger, and thinner. The screen was the whole side of the phone, and the only buttons were on the side. You'd seen a smart phone before—Jackson had one, along with some of the other people you worked with in Busan—but you had never used one. Jackson had only given you the flip phone.

"Jungkook also downloaded some games he thought you might like, but if you don't, or you want different ones, he can help you out with that." Yoongi only rambled when he was being affectionate but didn't know how to express it. It gave you a small feeling of fondness, something that hadn't changed after so many years.

You simply nodded, not sure how else to respond. "Thanks." You turned the phone around in your hand once more before putting it into your back pocket. Looking down, you noticed you were still in the same clothes from yesterday, and your shirt was covered in dried blood. "Hey, can I change somewhere?"

"You can change in here if you want?" Jimin suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Tae smacked him with his magazine before you could throw the nearest object at him.

"We moved your stuff into the guest room," Yoongi told you. "There's a bed in there, but also one of the more comfortable couches we own. You can use that room for as long as you want." The 'to stay here' was implied, but you were grateful he left it implied. "Will one of you show her?"

"I will," Taehyung said as he stood up. He left the magazine open on the table, and made a follow me gesture.

"I'll bring your food up once it's done," Yoongi called as you followed Taehyung, which meant that the footsteps behind you belonged to your current least favorite member of this gang. You chose to ignore him; he wasn't really doing anything to warrant any response anyway.

Jin came out of a room from somewhere else (you really needed to memorize the layout of this place) dressed in hospital scrubs, checking his watch and carrying a briefcase. He only glanced up at you for a moment as he power-walked past. "Yoongi has the pain meds you can take and knows when to give them to you. Please don't be like Jungkook and try to power through. Life is more comfortable with medication. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Bye hyung!" Jimin and Taehyung said in sync, before returning to the semi-awkward silence.

Taehyung led you up the stairs to the second floor, then down the long corridor. The room you recognized as Namjoon's office had its door left wide open. You glanced in as you walked past it, only to see it currently void of life. You only got a quick glimpse of the wall, the one with the ancient picture hanging on it, before you were past it and it was out of your sight again.

You often broke into the offices and studies of businessmen, CEOs, gang bosses—always looking for information to use against them, to seal their fate. Breaking into Namjoon's office would probably be a walk in the park in comparison, but the only thing you want was to look at that picture again, to try and imagine the life you could've had, had you not gone to the fair that day.

The guest room was at the very end of the corridor. Taehyung opened the door and walked in, then turned to watch you. You looked around, taking everything in. It wasn't anything special, just another room in an estate, but it was at least four times larger than the basement hole you had been living in the past four months, and twice as big as the bedroom you lived in in your Busan apartment with Jackson.

There was a large bed in the center of the room, pushed up against the wall, with a nice-looking couch sitting underneath the windows. There was one open door that lead to a bathroom, and a closed one that was probably the closet. You had kind of forgotten what living in this kind of luxury was like. You almost felt nostalgic for the life you ran away from at sixteen.

"This is your room, for however long you want it to be," Taehyung said, breaking the silence and looking around the room. "I believe Jungkook put everything in the closet?" It sounded more like a question as he pointed to the closed door. "But you can do pretty much whatever you want in here."

"And we do mean, anything," Jimin added with that fucking suggestive tone layered in his voice that grated on your ears.

Just ignore him.

You headed towards the closet, pulling the door open and stopping at the sight of so many white dress shirts and dress slacks hanging up. "What, is this your storage closet?"

"Oh! Right, we call it the guest room, but it's actually Namjoon-hyung's room." Jimin explained. "He just never fucking uses it, so Jin-hyung decided to let you make use of it."

Namjoon's room. Great. You weren't going to think about that right now. Right now you wanted a change of clothes. The two duffle bags—one containing your meager belongings from the basement apartment and the other still containing nearly 8 billion won—were placed side by side on the floor, your red hat sitting on top of one. Against the wall was a small hamper that your dress from the ball and the clothes you had slept in afterwards. Jungkook must've done that too, and you tried not to think about that either. Then you noticed what was missing.

"Hey, wear's my jacket?" you asked as you pulled the clothing duffle from the closet and placed it on the bed, beginning to go through it for something comfy to change into.

"Gone." Was the only answer Taehyung gave you. You froze.

"What?"

"It was years out of season, covered in blood, and had been patched up way too many time," he explained with a tone of disdain that made what blood was left in you boil. "I can get you a much better jacket, one that'll actually look good and keep you warm."

You took a deep breath, once again trying to quell the rising panic. "Taehyung. Where is my jacket."

You could sense his confusion, even though neither of you looked at the other. "It's gone. I threw it away. It's just a jacket, I'll get you a new one."

You had had that specific jacket for 8 years. You had washed it, patched it, survived in it. It was not just a jacket. Your voice resembled the same dark tone Jackson sometimes had when talking with you. "Kim Taehyung." You turned to look at him. "Look at me."

He hesitated at your words. Slowly, the man turned to comply. "Holy shit."

Murder, clear as day, was what he saw in your glare. The ice looking him directly in the eye was enough to easily surpass Namjoon's and Yoongi's—even Jin's. Jimin behind him glanced up from his phone and even jumped back in shock. "Goddamn Tae, did you throw her teddy bear away?"

"Get. It. Back." You told him. His hair bounced as he nodded and retreated.

"Yes ma'am. Absolutely. So sorry." He grabbed Jimin's hand as he turned and ran away. You exhaled, then went to close the door until it was just cracked. Surely they would knock before entering into your new room. You hoped so.

It wasn't just a jacket.

You shook your head, trying to clear it. Taehyung said he'd get your jacket back, and if he didn't, the promise of hell raining down on him should've been enough to make sure he did. In your solitude, you finally dropped the act of not being in pain. Your side was actually killing you, and you couldn't wait for Yoongi to bring you those meds. He probably would when he brought you food.

You sat on the edge of the bed, one hand clinging to your side and your free one digging through the clothes. Changing clothes was going to hurt, and you all knew it, but you were glad Yoongi let you make the decision yourself. Soon you came across another pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. That would work.

Changing hurt.

You felt better once you were in different—clean—clothes, and you walked the small distance to the couch. It was a bit colder here, probably because of its proximity to the windows. You made a mental note to ask Jungkook if he'd move the couch away from the wall for you.

You took as deep a breath as your injury would let you. It was time to make the call.

You sat cross-legged on the couch, favoring your injured side more than you would've liked. With a deep breath, you dialed Jackson's phone number. The call would be coming from an unknown number, so you weren't surprised when it was almost immediately rejected. It didn't deter you, you simply hit the redial button. This time hit rang long enough to go to voicemail naturally. You redialed the number one more time.

He picked up on the third ring. "How did you get this number?" Jackson's voice was deeper than it usually was when talking to you; he was probably trying to mask it, to make it more intimidating than normal. You silently inhaled again.

"The bird is in the cage."

There was a beat of silence, and you could practically feel the rage radiating off him through the receiver. "Oh, is she?"

"Jackson—"

"Because I'm currently in the cage, and what do you know, the cage seems to be birdless."

You squeezed your eyes shut in a meager attempt to block everything out. You knew it was going to be difficult finally calling and talking to him, and you knew he was going to be angry with you. You hated it when he was angry with you though, something about it made you feel small, insignificant. Unimportant.

"Where the hell have you been, huh?" He kept going. "I haven't heard from you in nearly three days—and who's number is this you're calling me on?"

"I lost my phone," you mumbled into the receiver. You were still beating yourself up for that.

"The fuck you mean, you lost your phone? What the hell happened, Y/N?"

You took another deep breath. "I got in a fight, and during the escape, I lost my phone." You paused. "And then I got shot."

Jackson didn't respond for a long time, so long you wondered if he hung up on you. "Y/N, where are you?" His voice was steady now, stable.

He was furious.

"I told you, I'm somewhere safe, bird is in the cage and all that." You couldn't tell him you were with Bangtan.

"No, somewhere safe would be back in this apartment where I can see you and watch after you myself. Where. Are. You."

"Somewhere safe." You weren't going to budge on this. Jackson could wear you down on a thousand other things, but not this. You weren't going to sell Namjoon out.

"Oh my fucking—fine, don't tell me. Why don't you tell me about this gunshot wound you have instead? What fucking fight did you get into?"

You let out a small breath of relief. This you were more comfortable talking about. "Yeah, okay, so, Song lied to me about this job, and I went to meet with Wang yesterday about it and confront him, and then he tried taking me. So I fought back and saved another girl along the way, and in the escape I got shot."

"Wait, slow down—what do you mean, Song lied to you about the job?" Jackson asked, nearly interrupting you. "This is why I clear all jobs before you go through with them."

"You wouldn't have let me go!"

"Yeah, no shit! You belong here in Busan with me, not galivanting through the streets of Seoul getting shot!"

"There's more," you ignored him, trying to keep yourself calm. "Song knows who I am—who I really am."

The pause Jackson had this time was less anger and more concern, finally. "How the fuck—"

"I don't know, but he knows who I am and he knew the alias I was going by and he knew where I was in Busan and he knew enough about what I've been through to sell me the job." You started talking faster to keep Jackson from cutting you off. "Song didn't send Wang down to hire Lee Anna to hunt down and kill a rival gang doing unspeakable things to women. He sent him to find L/N Y/N and get me back to Seoul, and I think it has something to do with—"

"Okay, now you're thinking too much," Jackson's voice sliced through your small speech, that same phrase he always used with you. It shut you up quickly, just as it always did. "You don't actually know any of this, and if it is this serious then you need to get back down here. I don't want anything else to happen to you."

A small warmth went through you at his words. His tone of voice hadn't changed at all, he was still being pretty harsh, but ultimately it was because he cared about you. You started to feel guilty about having ghosted him for the past few days, about not answering his calls sooner.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you back sooner," you said, voice quiet. "I just—a lot of things happened all at once, and I needed time to process everything."

Jackson sighed, and it sounded like he was finally calming down a bit. "You know you don't make the best choices when I'm not around, and this was just another example of that. You need to come back to Busan so we can sort everything out. If Song knows who you are, then you aren't safe anywhere in Seoul."

You bit your lip. Maybe he was right, maybe you should go back, but... "Jackson, I don't know if going back will be any safer either. They found me there once, didn't they? As Lee Anna."

"Once you're in my sight again, I can figure out what to do next. No matter what, you're safest when you're with me, you know that."

Going back to Busan had always been in the back of your mind, an endlessly nagging thought tossing and turning, never truly allowing you to relax. You knew you were safe with Jackson, and Jackson was in Busan. But, that was before you met Namjoon again, before the better parts of your past had come face to face with you. Even after all this time, you knew you would be safe with them, too.

And, despite everything, you weren't quite ready to leave them yet.

"Jackson." You took a shaky breath in. "I think I need to stay in Seoul for now." You paused, knowing he would try to say something, but to your shock, he was silent. You swallowed and continued, your heart rate picking up. "This is big. Song has one of the largest gangs in the North, and if he knows my real identity and my fake one, then he might have answers that I need. And I don't want to leave before I can get them."

"Y/N." He was angry again, even though his tone matched yours: quiet and determined. You had hoped the calm would last longer, but you used words that you knew Jackson didn't like, words like think and want. Of course he was bound to explode on you again. "You just got shot a day or two ago, right? You're probably in a lot of pain, or you're high on pain meds. Either way, you're thinking too much, when you can't even think straight right now. Listen to me: I will take care of everything. You need to come back."

You're thinking too much. Those words echoed around your mind the way you hated. Constant, overlapping, sometimes whispered, sometimes yelled, always in Jackson's voice. Maybe you were thinking about all this too much. Jackson could take care of it. That's why he was your handler. He took care of all the details, simply told you where to go and who to kill. Your life was easier when you listened to him.

"Just come back, Y/N," Jackson said. His voice was finally filled with the care and concern you were looking for. "I won't be mad at you, I'll let all of this go, just come back home to me."

You squeezed your eyes shut. You should just go back to him. Busan wasn't terrible, it wasn't really that different from Seoul. And you were injured, so Jackson would go easier on the jobs he took for you until you were healed. And you could finally return to him the (almost) 8 billion won—the whole reason you even took this job. Everything would go back to normal.

You should just go back.

There was a soft knock just outside the door. "Jagiya." Your eyes snapped open and you turned. Through the crack you could see Yoongi looking at you. Did he just get there, or had he been listening in? You supposed the answer didn't really matter. You met his eyes, and saw something in them that stopped your whirlwind of thought.

They would let you go, if it's truly what you wanted. Some of them would try to stop you, but would ultimately let you make your choice. And others, like Yoongi, wouldn't question it. If it was what you wanted.

But it wasn't. It wasn't what you wanted. You didn't want to leave Seoul. You had fought for years to get back here. Busan wasn't home. And maybe Seoul wasn't home either, but it was closer. Busan was just as dangerous as Seoul was for you, maybe even more so. Seoul at least had people you knew were allies, who would help you and keep you safe. Seoul had the answers you were looking for and the secrets you needed to uncover.

Jackson wanted you back in Busan, back with him. You wanted to stay in Seoul, to stay with them.

You looked away from Yoongi. "No."

A pause.

"What?"

Another.

"No, Jackson." Your free hand shook from nerves, and you pressed it up against your side in an attempt to keep it still. This was always the part when you broke down and gave into him. It had been years since you stood up to him like this, since you doubled down on yourself instead of giving into him. "I—I'm not going back. Not yet."

"Excuse me?"

"Once I get this solved, as soon as I have my answers, I'll go back to Busan. But not right now."

You glanced over at Yoongi again. You could see his smirk through the crack. He didn't realize just how much he was doing for you in this moment, and you hoped he wouldn't leave you alone quite yet.

Jackson still hadn't said anything. The silence dragged on until you couldn't handle it anymore. "Please, Jackson, just trust me, just this once. I can do this, please."

He let out a breath. "So this is it?" His voice was hard again, unfeeling, with that edge of something that always scared you. "This is what you wanna do?"

"Jackson—"

"Okay." His agreement shocked you. You thought for sure you'd have to fight for longer before he eventually gave in—if he ever gave in. "You wanna do this on your own? Wanna be independent? Fine." You released a breath too soon. "But you don't get to come crying to me the next time you have a nightmare."

The line disconnected. It took you a moment to realize he had hung up on you. You were so caught off guard by his words, still trying to process them. You slowly pulled the phone away from your head, looking down at the call time blinking up at you.

You heard the door creak open. "Is it safe to come in?" Yoongi asked from outside the room. You didn't respond, still too caught up in Jackson's… tantrum? He stormed off every now and again when you didn't listen to him. This must've been a version of that. You hit the redial button. It went straight to voicemail.

Call rejected.

You tried again. Voicemail. Again. Voicemail. Again. Voicemail. He would have to answer you eventually, right? He wasn't petty enough to ignore you for three days like you did him.

Again. Voicemail.

"Y/N?"

Maybe a text would work. You quickly typed up a simple I'm sorry message, something that should get his attention, that should get a response. You hit send and watched as a message came back immediately:

Service Error 409: You have been blocked by the intended recipient of your message.

Your eyes went wide. He blocked you. Jackson blocked you. What kind of tantrum was this? How were you supposed to contact him now? You needed to be able to call him with updates and ask him questions and—

Talk to him when you had nightmares.

You don't get to come crying to me the next time you have a nightmare.

He did the one thing you never thought he would. Jackson cut you off from him. That was Jackson's punishment for you standing up to him, for staying in Seoul.

For not choosing him.

But… but he couldn't do that to you. Jackson himself threw a fit whenever you two were separated for too long, and he knew how badly you needed him when things started getting bad for you again.

You needed Jackson. He was the only one who could make it all stop, when your mind betrayed you and things became too much. Being this far away, you settled for phone calls but that only helped so much. You weren't sure how much longer you'd be able to last without him. And he knew that.

He knew you needed him. He couldn't leave you alone like this, not when you both knew you needed him.

"Y/N! Breathe!"

Yoongi's voice broke through your building hysteria. He was standing in front of you now, a steaming plate of food in one hand and a glass of water in the other. You looked up at him and took a deep breath in, wincing at the pull in your side. You took a few more, ignoring the pain, as Yoongi watched.

"Everything okay?" he finally asked, sitting down next to you on the couch. You didn't look at him, your gaze still locked straight ahead. "That didn't sound like a great phone call."

You let out another strained breath before answering. "It wasn't, but things will be fine." You weren't sure if you were trying to convince Yoongi or yourself. "Jackson is… he just… he cares about me a lot and so he says a lot of stupid shit when he gets upset. It's nothing. He doesn't mean it."

He doesn't mean it. He'll get over this soon, he has to. Eventually his overprotective need will outweigh his anger at you and then he'll unblock you and call you back and everything will be okay.

"Sounds like a real outstanding guy," Yoongi grumbled, making a mental note to relay this information back to the guys. He moved the plate of food closer to you. "Here, get some food in you, then you can take your first round of pain meds."

"I'm not hungry," you lied out of habit. Jackson didn't like it when you ate too much, and you needed to be good right now. If you were good during his punishments then he would come back to you sooner.

And you needed him back as soon as you could get him back.

Maybe you should just go back.

"Bullshit." Yoongi put the plate on your lap. "You haven't eaten in over 24 hours and you have to take the medication with food. You're eating something if I have to force-feed you."

Jackson didn't like it when you hurt yourself either. Maybe a few bites wouldn't hurt, just enough to take the medication. You nodded, not trusting your voice, and picked up the fork to take a bite. Flavor exploded on your tongue, and you realized just how hungry you truly were. Within a few minutes, the plate was empty.

Yoongi took the dish from you and handed you the glass of water, then reached into his pocket for a bright orange bottle, transparent enough for you to see all the white pills inside. He handed the bottle to you. "Jin said you can have up to two pills every four hours. In between that, you can do whatever you want. Play games, watch movies, read books. Just ask."

You nodded then watched as Yoongi left you alone, closing the door but leaving it open just a crack, the way it was before he came in. You balanced the glass between your legs as you opened the bottle and shook out the two allotted pills into your palm. You stared at the rest of the pills, tempted to take more, but decided against it for the time being.

You needed to be good. Jackson would come back sooner if you were good. You capped the bottle and tossed it onto the bed, then popped the pain meds into your mouth and downed the glass of water. You put the glass on the window sill behind you, then laid down on the couch.

You usually weren't allowed to do those things Yoongi suggested. You usually trained, or worked with Jackson on the next job he had accepted for you. Neither of those were options right now, however, with your fresh wound needing to heal. So you decided to lay still on the couch, to keep the stress on your side down, and be good.

If you were good, Jackson would come back to you sooner.

Soon you felt the emotional exhaustion come crashing down on you, and you let your eyes flutter close. A small nap would do you good, and you hoped it would be dream- and nightmare-free. It was always a toss-up with naps. At least with your subconscious, you would know whatever your brain would throw at you would be temporary. If you stayed awake, your spiral downward would go on until someone stopped it for you.

Jackson stopped it for you. He was the only one who could. You needed him.

Maybe you should just go back.

sooooo how we all feeling about jackson?? thank you again for reading!! please comment and reblog and let me know what you think. hopefully the next chapter will be up soon!! and a super special thank you to my taglist peeps, lemme know if you want to be added to list and subsequently become a Cool Kid™️ (if you arent listed below, it's because tumblr wouldn't let me tag you, idk why but i'm sorry) @illnevertrustmyselfagain @misschino @dany-but-not-targaryen @nyx-goddess-of-choas @fangirl125reader @clowdyblue @tutnotmytea @scentedsope @hope122598 @veronawrites @myooniverse @jiminrings @mirahuyooo @elyte @hyungieyoongi @singukieee @hello-neema @thebadassmotherofmyshotas @kawaii-bear @notsooperfect @mintyoonjisworld @glams00 @thisisnotangel @fangirl-and-stuff @dprssdgal @irony-of-living @hobateas @remmykinsff @gukieater @lovra974 @whatsakilo @yoursoontobestepmom @juju-227592 @xyahrinx @belladaises @jaiuneamesolitaiire @lookhere-2seok @imnotokayfuckup @rjsmochii @mintsugarmy @smol-grandpa @maximofftrash @diamonddia-mond @soliloquyboopboop @stellauniverse @main-koi-aisa-geet-gaun @aclp-jb1d @snoozeagustd

#bts #bts mafia #bts mafia au #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts writing #bts angst #jackson x reader #yoongi x reader #jin x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #edge of tonight #part thirteen #thebtswritersclub

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mostlyghostly42 · 4 days ago

Text

art websites masterlist

tools & knowledge

pose references & body visualizers

Faestock

AdorkaStock

Kate-Fox

Figurosity

Posemaniacs

Meshcapade Body Visualizer

faces

Reference Angle

VIShopper

Animal Photo Art References

rendering

PSG Art Tutorial

stock photography

Gratisography

Pexels

Unsplash

clothes

The Historical Encyclopedia of Costume

Vintage Dancer

Folk Fashion Tumblr

textures

Architextures

Transparent Textures

The Pattern Library

Unblast

Lost and Taken

OnlyGFX.com

Photos Public Domain

Texturelabs

architecture

Peter Thompson EotE Area Maps

Procgen Mansion

color

Paletton

Colour Lovers

Wonderful Resources to Master Color Theory

WebGradients

Color Hunt

My Color Space

The Dimensions of Colour, colour mixing in paints

QH Art Studio - Article

Google Icons

Material Design 3 Icons

Figma Google Material Symbols

Icons8

everything

The Etherington Brothers

Creative Market

Art-Res

James Gurney

Queen Sweeties

museums & news

Recherche - Centre Pompidou

Art21

It's Nice That

Home - Nationalclothing.org

Hyperallergic: Sensitive to Art and Its Discontents

National Gallery of Art

miscellaneous

Viintage

Rittik-Designs

Fancaps

Beginner’s Guide to Digital Zines

Mockup Zone

Firefly Graphics Tumblr

Composition

CARI | Aesthetics

WhatTheFont Font Finder - Identify Fonts by Image

LibreSprite

Space Iconset (59 icons) | Iconfactory

Antiseptic Videogame Iconset (42 icons) | Starvingartist

ASCII Art Archive

< hydra > (⚠️extreme flashing lights & patterns ⚠️)

#masterlist #art refs #art resources

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nade2308 · 2 years ago

Text

GIFS AND EDITS MASTERLIST POST

It was about time to do this for my newest posts because I cannot track all of my previous edits and gifs (there are many). Here I will post the links to all them as they go up.

If anyone wants to chance the tumblr search feature for all my previous posts, you can try searching for my gifs/edits using the words "my gif", "my gifs" or "my edit".

I'll group them by movie, tv show, and/or any significance the gifs/edits might have like cinematic parallels, some sort of a gif theme, etc.

Special thanks to @thethistlegirl and @malewifebillcage for giving me most of these ideas.

Top Gun/Top Gun Maverick

Boys staring at each other in the classroom

Canon bi Mav gifset

Walking the wire gifset

Ice and Mav volleyball gif

Whatever it takes gifset: Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

The Oscar gifs

Top Gun Maverick: Mav gifset

"I love you will still sound the same" by Oh Honey: Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Bonus gif

Icemav hug edit

Ice and Sli hug gif

Mav and Sli hug gif

Sad boy in the bathroom gifset: Part 1 || Part 2

Fond looks™ gifset (TG '86)

Mav and Wolfman and Hollywood hugs gifs

Mav's gorgeous eyes ("Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day)

Mission Impossible

Ethan in Ghost Protocol ("Eight" by Sleeping at Last)

Achtung gif (Rogue Nation)

Ethan in the payphone cubicle: Part 1 || Part 2

Ethan opening his eyes gif (Ghost Protocol)

Sad Ethan gifset (Fallout)

Ethan in hospital (Ghost Protocol): Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Ethan escape from the hospital (Ghost Protocol): Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Stealing boy (Ghost Protocol)

Luther tagging Ethan in Fallout

Ethan in the purple shirt gifset (Rogue Nation): Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Ethereal Ethan (Rogue Nation)

Edge of Tomorrow

BillRita gifset

War of the Worlds

Ray and the thunderstorm

Ray and Rachel gifset ("Have faith in me" by A Day to Remember)

American Made

Scared Barry in prison gifset

American Made gifset: Part 1 || Part 2

Barry's putting his uniform on

Gremlin gifset

Barry payphone gifset: Part 1 || Part 2

Jack Reacher 2012

Jack in the rain gif

Jack in the bathtub gifset

Jack and his scars gifset

"You give love a bad name" by Bon Jovi gifset: Part 1 || Part 2

Jack driving the Chevelle gifset

Jack Reacher: Never go back

Jack shower gifs ("Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man)

Sam and Jack hug gifset

Sam and Jack texting gifset

Rock of Ages

Boy on the pole

Introduction to Stacee

"Rock you like a hurricane" by the Scorpions gifset: Part 1 || Part 2

A Few Good Men

Danny handle with care edit

Black Sheep Squadron

My first Black Sheep Squadron post

Greg and Meatball gif in 1x09

Greg and Meatball gifs (1x16)

"We're getting into a rut, darling." (1x16)

More Greg and Meatball gifs (1x16)

Hair ruffle gif (1x16)

"Welcome home, Jim." (1x16)

Shaky hands gifset (1x16)

Still shaky hands (1x16)

Greg and Micklin tussle (1x16)

Greg gifs (1x16)

More shaky imp boy (1x16)

Greg "I'll just sit here and look handsome while I'm drinking coffee" Boyington (1x16)

Staring Jim (1x16)

Greg and Micklin gifset: Part 1 || Part 2

Greg sitting on the counter (1x16)

Proud Pappy (1x16)

Greg and Jim gifset (1x16)

Tongue action... Monday? (1x16)

TJ's moment of glory (1x16)

A whole squadron of kids gifs (1x17)

Crying Jim (1x04)

Shirtless Greg gifset (1x09)

More shirtless Greg gifs (1x04)

Parallels/Misc.

Thomas Magnum (OG MPI) and Greg Boyington (Black Sheep Squardon) parallel

Ethan in Ghost Protocol and Mav in Top Gun parallel

Parallels Ray (WotW) and Cage (EoT)

Nightmares gifset (Mission Impossible)

Ethan in Fallout and Mav in Top Gun Maverick parallels

Ethan in Mission Impossible III and Jack in Oblivion 2013 parallel

Uniform imp gifset

Miscellaneous Tom Cruise edits/gifsets

Tom Cruise on Jimmy Kimmel 24.02.2023

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cali-holland · 7 years ago

Text

Tangled- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: You don’t recognize your childhood best friend after six years apart.

Word Count: 2500

Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

2011

“I’m not that excited about leaving, mum. I’ve told you all of this before- I’ve got friends here.” You sighed as you helped her unload empty boxes from her car.

“Why don’t you go inside? I’ll move these.” She said and you nodded. Following her directions, you walked up your driveway to your door. You opened it and were stunned instantly.

“Surprise!” All of your friends cheered, standing inside your entryway.

“What-” You started in confusion, but your best friend cut you off.

“We couldn’t let you leave without a proper farewell party.” Tom stated, giving you a tight hug.

“You shouldn’t have.” You said, looking around at all of your other friends with a smile on your face.

The party was the most fun you had had in months. Ever since the news of you leaving London for Los Angeles was announced, solemness seemed to take over all of your hang outs. Tom was the last one to leave for the night, as usual. You two stood on your front porch talking under the light from the moon.

“I hope you like Los Angeles.” He said.

“Me too.” You replied.

“And you promise not to forget us- forget me?” Tom asked.

“How could I forget you? You’re my best friend, Tom, and you did all of this for me.”

“That’s the thing, Y/N.” He took a deep breath before continuing his thought, “I did all of this for you because I wanted to be more than that.”

“Really?” You asked.

“Yes. I know this is terrible timing and that we’re young, but, Y/N, I love you.” Tom said. You inhaled a sharp breath at his confession. Sure, you loved Tom, but it felt more like a platonic love than a romantic love. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Enjoy California, Y/N. I’ll miss you. Farewell.” He smiled at you, before he left your house forever.

You stood on your porch for another moment, taking in everything you had just heard. Your best friend confessed his true feelings for you and you stayed silent, letting him walk away from you forever. Sighing, you stepped back inside your house.

~~~

2017

“21 year-old Y/N Y/L/N stunned the D23 Expo red carpet as she promoted her latest work, Star Wars: The Last Jedi. In an interview with Extra, the Oscar winner discussed her excitement about the expo as well as her future films. When asked if she would portray the beloved Princess Rapunzel in Disney’s planned live-action film, the actress simply stated that she loved the character and would be open to play her. Do you think this rising star will be a good choice for the film? If so, who would you chose to be her Flynn Rider?”

“Can we shut this off?” You asked your hairstylist.

“Why? You don’t like watching media outlets talk about you?” She laughed, but doing as you had requested.

“Oh yes, I really enjoy watching them discuss ‘rumors’.” You said sarcastically, using quotation marks around rumors. Both you and your stylist knew you would be Rapunzel. You had landed the role right before the expo and Disney was keeping the news a secret, until they found their Flynn Rider. The casting team had finally gotten the list of possible actors down to nine and you were to do screen tests with them to see if they had any on-screen chemistry with you.

After going through eight of the actors and only somewhat liking one, you were exhausted.

“You can’t give up now. You’ve got one more.” Your manager said as you got some water.

“I know. I just hope this one isn’t as dry. I mean, they can all act and they all resemble Flynn in a way, but I just don’t feel like I could work with any of them for a few months. There was one, but even then I could imagine us being distant costars.” You replied and she rolled her eyes at you in a playful manner.

“Y/N, the last actor is here.” The director called for you. You headed back over to the new actor in the room.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. I play Rapunzel.” You said, holding your hand out to him.

“I’m Tom, auditioning for Flynn.” He replied. As he shook your head, you felt him tense up.

“Don’t be nervous. You’ll do fine, Tom.” You stated, taking your seat in front of the camera.

“Right.” Tom said with a shaky voice as he sat down.

“And, action.” The director called.

“I know why you’re here, and I’m not afraid of you.” You said in a stern tone.

“What?” Tom asked in shock.

“I’m not afraid of you. How did you find me?” You questioned, sending him a faux intimidating look. He gulped, but didn’t reply as scripted. In an even more serious tone, you repeated it.

“I know not who you are nor how I cam eot find you but I may I just say,” He said in a sultry voice, before shifting to a more casual tone, “hi, how ya doin’? Name’s Flynn Rider. How’s your day going?”

“Who else knows my location, Flynn Rider?” You asked, unamused.

“Alright, Blondie-” He started.

“Rapunzel.”

“Gesundheit. Here’s the situation: I was galvanizing through the forest and I came across your tower and I-I- oh no, where is my satchel?” Tom asked, frantically.

“Somewhere you’ll never find it.” You answered smugly.

“It’s in that pot, isn’t it?”

“Cut!” The director said and the two of you stood from your seats.

“Good job, Tom.” You informed him, honestly enjoying his performance.

“Thank you. You too, Y/N.” Tom replied. You froze at his use of your name and he simply looked at you expectantly.

“Y/N-” Your manager called you over to her. She pulled you off to the side to discuss your schedule as the director spoke with Tom. Your eyes remained fixed on Tom as you tried desperately to place him, for you believed you had seen him before.

“Well done. I think you have a safe shot on getting this role.” You heard the director say.

“Really?” Tom asked in surprise and the director nodded.

“Alright, well, you best be going. Good work, Mr. Holland.” You jolted up immediately as you connected the dots. Your chair crashed to the ground and everyone looked at you, but your eyes remained fixed on Tom.

“Y/N, what is it?” Your manager asked, but you didn’t hear her as you made your way over to Tom.

“It’s you.” You said and he smiled.

“I was hoping you’d remember me.” He laughed lightly and you hugged him tightly in reply.

“I’m so sorry.” You pulled away from the hug and placed a hand on his cheek, “You look so different.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Tom asked.

“Good.” You replied, making both of you laugh.

“Y/N,” Your manager cleared her throat. You two returned to earth and pulled away from one another, “You two know each other?”

“Yeah, we were friends before I moved to L.A..” You explained. The director and the casting director gave each other a look and then silently nodded.

“Mr. Holland,” The director said.

“Yes?” He answered.

“You got the part.”

“You’re serious?” You asked in surprise as Tom stood silently shocked.

“Of course. You two have history together and your on-screen chemistry was fantastic- definitely the most convincing Flynn we’ve seen all day.”

“Thank you so much.” Tom said, shaking the director’s hand politely.

“You’re welcome.”

“Y/N, your interview.” Your manager reminded you.

“Oh right.” You nodded and then turned to Tom, “I have to go, but would you like to meet up later?” You asked and he raised his eyebrows at you in shock, so you clarified, “You know, to catch up?”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Tom replied, taking out his phone and handing it to you. You did the same and the both of you put your numbers in the phone, before switching.

“Alright, well I’ll see you later.” You stated.

“Farewell, Y/N.” He answered, making you subconsciously blush. He left the room with a smile and you were rushed off to your interview, where you would confirm your involvement in the live-action version of Tangled.

~~~

In between breaks, you had set up a time with Tom for him to come over to your place in Beverly Hills. Right on time, he arrived and, a few moments later, the pizza replied.

“So, you left London and made it big in Hollywood?” Tom asked before he took a bite of his pizza. Tangled played on the TV in the background; the both of you decided to watch it together to better your understanding of the characters.

“It wasn’t intentional, but I found out that a lot of my friends at my high school were auditioning for this one role and I decided to try it out. It was the Fault in Our Stars and I somehow landed the role of Hazel Grace. I discovered that I actually loved doing it; it was fun, so I kept doing it. Now, I’m in Star Wars and I’m going to be a Disney princess.” You laughed with a shrug as if the outcome of your random idea was normal. “You were made for the spotlight- I wasn’t.”

“You were, you just didn’t plan on it like me.”

“Come on, Tom, you were Billy Elliot and I was that person in the crowd cheering you on.”

“Agree to disagree?” Tom suggested and you nodded with a laugh. “You really didn’t recognize me? You honestly had no idea I was famous?”

“Whoa, Tom, don’t sound too cocky there.” You teased.

“You know what I meant.”

“I knew that there was a new Spider-Man and that was it.” You said in all seriousness, “You know me, I’ve never been a fan of superhero movies. And I’ve been too busy with my career to see a Spider-Man ad and recognize it as my childhood best friend.”

“I feel like I should be offended by all of this.” He stated.

“If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t watched any Spider-Man movies, but I’d still say you’re the best one.”

“That’s it! After this movie, we’re watching Spider-Man.” Tom said.

“Which one?” You asked.

“All of them.”

“There’s like ten!”

“There’s only six, including mine.”

“I’m not watching six movies in a night.”

“Of course not in a night. Some will be in the early hours of the morning.” Tom laughed and you groaned.

“Fine, let me get comfortable on the couch.” You said, moving from the table to the couch with Tom following you. He sat down and you sat beside him with your head on his shoulder, just like old times.

You two remained like that for most of the movie. You did shift around to get more comfortable, but you still ended up with your head leaning on him, cozily snuggling up to him.

“You know you’re going to have to go through singing lessons, right?” You asked.

“Yeah. They made me sing for an audition and figured I was good enough to continue through the ranks and sing with you.” He replied as the lantern scene began.

“We should sing this, just because it’s the big duet.” You said.

“You really want me to?” He asked.

“You don’t have a choice.” You stated, making him chuckle. You begna to sing along with Rapunzel in the film, “All those days watching from the windows, all those years outside looking in, all that time never even knowing just how blind I’ve been,” You finished Rapunzel’s part and Tom took over for Flynn’s.

“All those days chasing down a daydream, all those years living in a blur, all that time never truly seeing things the way they were,”

You both finished off the song, and you smiled over at Tom.

“You’ve got a lovely voice.” He said.

“Thanks. You too.” You replied. His phone buzzed and he looked down at the text with a laugh, “What is it?”

“You remember Harrison Osterfield? My buddy from Brit school?” Tom asked and you nodded, vaguely remembering him, “He just texted me saying 'How’d your audition go? Did you meet Y/N? She’s Rapunzel- I can’t believe our friend is Rapunzel’.”

“Aw, so Harrison’s happy I’m a Disney princess now.” You laughed.

“Here, let me take a pic of you to send him. He’s gone piss himself.” Tom said, switching his phone to the camera setting. You smiled as he took a picture of you to send to Harrison.

“I’m glad you and Harrison are still friends.” You said, “I really missed both of you. I’m sorry, again, for not recognizing you.”

“Quit apologizing. If you hadn’t been on TV so much, I wouldn’t have recognized you.” Tom replied.

“You’ve watched my movies?” You asked.

“Who hasn’t seen Star Wars? And Harrison’s sister made him watch the Fault in Our Stars, so naturally he made me watch it with him.”

~~~

2019

“Are you ready?” Your driver asked you as he prepared to open his door.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You replied and he nodded, stepping out of the car. He came around to your door and opened it for you. The screams increased in volume as you stepped out onto the red carpet. Your eyes stung already as flashes went off from every direction. You looked up down the carpet and saw Tom finishing up his photos. He smiled and waved at you, which you did back to him. You posed in front of the purple and pink background, reading Tangled in large gold letters.

“Y/N, is it true that you and Tom knew each other before filming?” An interviewer asked and you nodded.

“Yes, we were friends, but I moved away and then we ended up meeting again when he was cast as Flynn.” You explained. You were about to add more, but you were stopped when someone kissed your cheek. You turned to find Tom standing beside you with a large smirk on his face.

“You look beautiful.” He said.

“Tom, I’m trying to do an interview.” You laughed.

“What? I can’t admire my girlfriend?” Tom asked as if he had done nothing wrong and you playfully rolled your eyes at him. He kissed you properly on the lips this time. “I’ll see you inside, darling.” He took off towards the entrance to meet up with his family and Harrison.

“I’m so sorry about that. He’s clingy.” You joked, despite being flustered.

#tom holland #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagine #tom holland headcanon #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader

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doctorroseficreclists · 8 years ago

Text

classics: Ten x Rose

fic rec list masterpost | docxrose fanfic 101 masterlist

For DoctorxRose shippers, Ten is undeniably the Doctor with the most fic, and there are a huge number of TenxRose fics to consider "classics." This is a looooooooong list, and I know we're still just scratching the surface, so further recs are, of course, always loved and cherished! Please rec more to your heart's content!

Thank you to everyone who answered our call for more recs!! (I mentioned all of you awesome people at the bottom, and I hope I got everyone!!!)

Other lists to which the fic does or will belong are noted as well. This is a very diverse collection, so please don't forget to check author's ratings and warnings.

Newly Added

Howling with the Storm by @mercwithamouth (novel, s3 rewrite, contains adult chapters) (This is the second part of the Written in the Stars series, which is complete on fanfiction.net. The story link takes you there.)

ficlet

Teen or Below:

That Night on Betazorn 9 by ThroughAnAmberFocus (humour)

short story

Teen or Below:

Bind me or Undo Me by karenbee

The City Bombs Forgot by @thebadddestwolf

The Girl on the Horse by orange_crushed (GitF fixit)

Mr Smith and the Dinner Lady by @lauraxxtennant

On Degrees of Forever by @thebadddestwolf (telepathy, reunion!fic)

The Schwarzschild Radius by @tripwirealarm (post Satan Pit)

Time Lords and Tour Guides by @jessalrynn

Time Not Yet Lost by @thebadddestwolf

Wait by @jessalrynn (rated adult but really more PG-13ish…)

Worlds in Conjuction by marylane23

Adult:

Accidental Pregnancy au by @lixabiz (series of one-shots, human au)

America by @stoprobbersfic (road trip)

Caught Looking by sinecure (alien biology)

Chained by Aeolist

Coaster Castles and Other Sturdy Defenses by Rallalon (angst, Ten crosses Rose's timeline to see her)

Falling Home by Starships (aphrodisiacs)

Home Comforts by karenbee

How to Turn on a Time Lord by Carlisle_Cooperative

Imminence by @lauraxxtennant (post Satan Pit)

Llamas and Jail Cells and Shagging oh My by leftennant

Rush by the_tenzo

Such Great Heights by nocookiesjustbooks

The Swing of Things by @rudennotgingr

Thermoregulation by 2nd2ndalto (nocookiesjustbooks) (cold)

novella

Teen or Below:

But Broken Lights by @rosa-acicularis (hurt/comfort)

Double Crossing by @jessalrynn (with 7th doc and Ace)

Flower and Willow by timelord1

The Monk's Altar by @doctor-who-hears-a-horton

Post Pomp by ThroughAnAmberFocus (GitF)

Perchance to Die by lostwolf (post GitF)

The Scientist by orange_crushed (human nature/fobbed with Rose)

Stowaways by @ofstormsandwolves (au)

They Wouldn't Dare by @jessalrynn (humour)

Worthy of Her by @abadplanwellexecuted

Adult/Contain Adult Chapters:

A Bargain with Time by @untemperedschism (post Love and Monsters)

All That Stuff We're So Scared Of by @abadplanwellexecuted (post Satan Pit)

Catch and Release by @callistawolf

Congruence and Divergence by @allegoricalrose

Cup of Sugar by @lixabiz (TenxRose, au, adult)

Cusp by ValueTurtle (post Christmas Invasion)

Desperado by @bubblygal92 (reunion!fic)

Distance by @lauraxxtennant (WIP, post-GitF, baby!fic)

Family of Blood by @kelkat9 (reunion!fic, fobbed, crossover (Fright Night))

Gallifrey Computing by @rishidiams (au)

Idle Hands by @thebadddestwolf and Aeolist

The Key by @vampiyaa

Kinetic Sense by Doona Rose

Lesson Plans by @jeeno2 (friends to lovers, meddling tardis)

Marked by @allonsywobbly (shag or die)

Proof by Jabberwocky (post Idiot's Lantern)

Scratching the Itch by bendingsignpost (rallalon) (alien biology)

A Shop Girl With a Broken Fob Watch by @licieoic (Rose in s3, HN/FoB with Rose, crossover(Broadchurch))

Stepford by @allrightfine (fake married)

Sweetheart by @stoprobbersfic (au)

Taking Turns by @mariechambers (aphrodisiac)

Triboelectric by @lixabiz (au)

You Are the Music, You Are the Song by @licieoic (au)

novel

Teen or Below:

...But the Story Never Ends by WhoMe (Ten is Tentoo, JE fixit, EoT fixit)

The Air Near My Fingers by @abadplanwellexecuted & helplesslynerdy (fobbed)

Beneficial Engagement by @rudennotgingr (film au, The Proposal)

Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop by Ashlanielle (au)

Gravity by @dimensionhoppingrose (au)

Mind Over Matter by LN29 (part of the Step by Step Verse)

A Place Where We Only Say Goodbye by @weezlywrites (coffee shop au, time loop)

Winner takes All by LN29

Adult/Contain Adult Chapters:

Careful Surrender by @tenscupcake (JE fixit, telepathy, reunion!fic)

Chase the Dark by @fogsblue (dark!doctor, EoT fixit, JE fixit, post Waters of Mars)

Disheveled by Rabid1st(a bit of multidoctor, alien biology)

To Dream a Life by wildwinterwitch (HN/FoB with Rose)

Effigermus by TKirr

Electrostic Potential by @tenscupcake (telepathy, WIP)

Elsewhere by @fadewithfury (au, historical)

To Have and Not to Hold by mtemplar (alien aphrodisiac, telepathy)

The Impossible Fairytale by @callistawolf (au)

Kallisti by @jessalrynn

Knock Three Times by @jellyneau-xo (amnesia)

The Lord of Gallifrey by @kelkat9 (regency au)

Miles to Go by wishiknewwho (kid!fic)

Newly Found by @jellyneau-xo (hurt/comfort, amnesia)

One Crowded Hour by @allegoricalrose (baby!fic)

Out of the Ashes by @mercwithamouth (gallifreyslostson) (au)

Time Will Tell by @lauraxxtennant (post GitF)

Touching Wild Light by @fadewithfury (JE fixit, EoT fixit, telepathy, reunionfic, 50th anniv fixit, alt!rose)

series

Teen or Below:

Being to Timelessness series by @chocolatequeennk (Doomsday fixit, s2 rewrite, s3 rewrite, Rose on the Valiant)

To Build a Home by @dimensionhoppingrose (au)

Don't tell people I travelled through time and space with her mother (Or, the Jackie Tyler Adventure series) by @ofstormsandwolves

The Lost Girl series by @mercwithamouth (gallifreyslostson) (letters)

The Parallel Verse by @ofstormsandwolves

The Starlight Verse by @wintermoth (s3 rewrite)

Adult/Contain Adult Chapters:

Chaosverse by @earlgreytea68

Cloisters by wildwinterwitch

Falling Slowly by WhoMe (reunion!fic)

FoundVerse series by @whoinwhoville

Gallifrey Records by @allrightfine & @gallifreyburning (au)

Lords and Legends series by WhoMe

Lostverse by @unfolded73 (reunion!fic)

Of the Universe Series by ofalexandra (post-JE reunion, Bad Wolf Rose)

The Process of Becoming series by Kalleah (some stories adult)

Reprieve series by 2nd2ndalto (nocookiesjustbooks)

Some Slightly Unusual Mistakes by Rallalon

Writ in Skin series by Aenaria (one story adult)

Huge thanks, much love, and an infinite amount of gratitude go to the many people who answered our call to help expand this list!! Below are those who added on and the recs they suggested (not including those that we couldn’t find or starring other doctors, though we’ve taken note)! And if it’s in bold, it’s one we already had on the list or that more than one person recommended - and thus a rec-plus! ♥

@kelkat9, who recommended

Effigermus by TKirr

Worthy of Her by abadplanwellexecuted

They Wouldn’t Dare & Double Crossing, both by jessalrynn

the Found!Verse by whoinwhoville

@gallifreyinfinite, who recommended

Time Lords and Tour Guides & Wait, both by jessalrynn

How to Turn on a Time Lord by Carlisle_Cooperative

Of the Universe series by ofalexandra

Chaosverse by earlgreytea68

The Key by vampiyaa

Falling Home by Starships (@thenudecupcake)

Caught Looking by sinecure

On Degrees of Forever by thebadddestwolf

@theaccidentalhero, who recommended Electrostatic Potential by tenscupcake

@thelegionofthebeast, who recommended Such Great Heights by 2nd2ndalto (nocookiesjustbooks)

@lizann5869, who recommended

Gallifrey Records series by allrightfine & gallifreyburning

Flower and Willow by timelord1 (on dreamwidth)

Thermoregulation by 2nd2ndalto (nocookiesjustbooks)

Reprieve series by 2nd2ndalto (nocookiesjustbooks)

The City Bombs Forgot by thebadddestwolf

Home Comforts by karenbee

America by stoprobbersfic

The Monk’s Altar by Rachel_Lu

@tyttetardis, who recommended

You Are the Music, You Are the Song by licieoic

Falling in love at a coffee shop by Ashlanielle

Out of the Ashes by mercwithamouth (WIP)

Found & forgotten by whoinwhoville (FoundVerse)

A place where we only say goodbye by weezlywrites

The Lord of Gallifrey by kelkat9

Stowaways by ofstormsandwolves

The Impossible Fairytale by callistawolf

One Crowded Hour by allegoricalrose

Kings and Lords by WhoMe

Triboelectric by lixabiz

Gravity by dimensionhoppingrose

To Build a Home by dimensionhoppingrose

#fic rec list #classics #ten x rose #holy bananas batman!!!

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 2 years ago

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part of the bts writers' club

my ao3 ~ all stories are also posted there

all stories are PG-16 or lower; there are suggestive themes and implied nsfw things but absolutely nothing explicit

wips masterlist

🥰 = fluff; 💔 = angst; 🤡 = crack

🤍 = G; 🩶 = PG; ❤️ = PG-13; 🖤 = PG-16, suggestive themes/implied nsfw

:: series ::

》 eot universe 《

all "edge of tonight" stories in (almost) chronological order

》 valen-tans days 《

2023 Valentine's event!

》 devil town 《

You take a chance and spend a month in Devil Town: a quaint little place nestled deep in the woods of The Unknown, where the air is always a touch chilly, things are never quite what they seem, and no one will tell you anything.

》 eot: monsters 《 [coming soon] moodboard

"I'm wondering why do all the monsters come out at night? Why do we sleep where we want to hide? Why do I run back to you like I don't mind if you fuck up my life? Why am I a sucker for all your lies? Strung out like laundry on every line. Why do I come back to you?"

:: series ::

》 edge of tonight 《 💔🖤 [ongoing]

A part of him died that night. A larger part died when they couldn't find you, and over the years whatever was left of him grew cold and hard. It was that ice inside him that got their gang to the top, that gave them power, and money, and all the things a normal mafioso would be more than satisfied with. But none of it meant anything to Namjoon. All Namjoon wanted was you back in his arms. That was the underlying motive in everything he did. For the past ten years, Namjoon built himself an empire, just so he could find the reason his heart beat.

》 eot: old scars / future hearts 《 💔🖤 [coming eventually] moodboard

"Say that again, I didn't quite hear ya, messed with the wrong bitch in the wrong era. I've been at work and I got my badge of honor, honey I've changed so much since I last saw ya."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 my hand 《 🥰🤍 [complete]

You had waited years to find your soulmate, and the universe gave you the perfect one. {part of valen-tans days}

》 the clouded annals of history 《 🩶

You learn a bit more about Devil Town and what you're doing here... and maybe bargain part of your soul away in the process? It's hard to tell. {part of devil town}

》 just take it easy 《

"Oh, just take it easy. Hold onto this feeling. No, no we don't need a reason because we ain't got nowhere to go." {part of valen-tans days}

:: series ::

》 ruffled feathers 《 [coming eventually] moodboard

"What else is there? She says, 'is beauty all that matters to you' and you say 'what else is there'?? You should write a book: 'How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less'."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 a matter of minutes 《 🤡🤍 [complete]

Jungkook and Taehyung accidentally-on-purpose spill one of Jin's secrets. Luckily, it's a secret you had, too. {part of valen-tans days}

》 eot: sinners & saints 《

"I'm a liar, I'm a cynic. I'm a sinner, I'm a saint. I'm a loser, I'm a critic. I'm the ghost of my mistakes, and it's all my fault that I'm still the one you want. So what are you after? Some kind of disaster?" {part of valen-tans days}

》 the unknown 《

"I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times. Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 dusk 《 💔🥰🤡🖤 [ongoing]

When you moved to Forks, Washington, you only expected awkward conversations with your adopted sister's biological father and a lot of rain. You did not expect to see the love of your life walk through the high school cafeteria doors - especially when you thought he died back in 1918. But Yoongi doesn't remember you and believes you to be fully human. With the seemingly endless amount of danger coming your way, how long can you keep the act up?

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 sugarplum sweetheart 《 💔🥰🤍 [complete]

It was unthinkable. Unfathomable. Unrealistic. Yoongi would never.

》 you're my only girl 《 🥰🤍 [complete]

Yoongi specifically took this day off of work because he knew you needed to take a day off. So let him take care of you, goddammit. {part of valen-tans days}

》 somewhere lost 《 🩶 [complete]

you wake up on a bench in a forest, with no memory before then of recollection of how you got there. the person greeting you gives you three options: going into the Great Unknown (never to be seen again), wandering the woods (until you become an Edelwood tree), or spending a month in Devil Town. {part of devil town}

》 ready to go 《

"She's dancing alone. I'm ready to go but she's so lost in stereo. She's out of control, so beautiful, and I've been waiting for so long but she'll never know I'm losing hope 'cause she's so lost in stereo." {part of valen-tans days}

:: series ::

》 book club 《 [coming whenever] moodboard

As long as we don't die, this is gonna be one hell of a story.

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 glorious happenstance 《 🤡🤍 [complete]

Hobi sits at the same place in the coffee shop every day. You sit exactly four chairs away from him. Jimin decides that's too many chairs. {part of valen-tans days}

》 you'll be the last to know 《 🥰🤡🤍 [complete]

It was tradition that each weekend during the summer you and Hobi would go get milkshakes from the local diner to organize your schedules for the upcoming week. It was not tradition for you to kiss him (but you really really wanted it to be). {part of valen-tans days}

》 long-forgotten stories 《

"I still get a little scared of something new, but I feel a little safer when I'm with you." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 eot: a love like war 《 [coming soon] moodboard

"Heart's on fire tonight, feel my bones ignite, it feels like war. Love feels like war. We go together or we don't go down at all. Is this the end of us, or just a means to start again?"

》 flying shadows, falling stars 《 [coming whenever] moodboard

"When she was just a girl, she expected the world, but it flew away from her reach so she ran away in her sleep and dreamed of paradise..."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 that's my man 《 🥰🤍 [complete]

You texted your boyfriend in the middle of your workday, telling him it was going to be an emergency date kind of night. Jimin easily agreed. {part of valen-tans days}

》 question 《

"But one thing after another, lost in situations, circumstances, miscommunications, and I have to say, by the way, I just may like some explanations. Can I ask you a question?" {part of valen-tans days}

》 those who travel thru the wood 《

"Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 war of the gods 《 [coming whenever] moodboard

"How do you kill a god? With another god. An immortal for an immortal. Era for an era. A celestial being to strip another's soul. A God for a God."

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 singularity 《 💔🩶 [complete]

He would do anything to protect you, even if it meant remaining cold. {part of valen-tans days}

》 if it's worth it 《

"You're a classic case of foolish, young, and in love, but you don't even know what love could do to us. We are brash and reckless, made of glass and careless. We break apart the moment we both feel too much because when it hurts it hurts. You wonder if it's worth it, but when it works it works. When it's broke, it's perfect." {part of valen-tans days}

》 a mysterious place 《

"I forgot my name again, I think that's something worth remembering." {part of devil town}

:: series ::

》 in this neighborhood, on these streets (feat. kth) 《 [coming whenever] moodboard one two three

When you are young, they assume you know nothing, and I remember it all too well. Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye...

:: one-shots & drabbles ::

》 just one day 《 💔🥰🤍 [complete]

Jungkook has literally been counting down the days until he could meet his soulmate, but when the day comes he only has 24 hours to find you. {part of valen-tans days}

》 mixing fireworks and gasoline 《

"I let you down. I've been clumsy with your heart again. I guess you figured me out, now here's a taste of my own medicine. And for all this pain that I can't explain, there's a black flag waving tonight. You know I let you down." {part of valen-tans days}

》 a place that few have seen 《

"We're all dead in Devil Town, that fine, 'cause nothing's gonna scare us now." {part of devil town}

#bts #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts writing #bts fluff #bts angst #bts x reader #ot7 x reader #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #hobi x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #masterlist #bts masterlist #jay screams into the void

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 7 months ago

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Welcome to the eot universe! The following are all part of the same au and are listed almost chronologically.

》 sinners & saints 《 [one-shot] Jin x reader

》 monsters 《 [mid-quel]

》 edge of tonight 《 [main] Namjoon x reader

》 a love like war 《 [side-story] Jimin x reader

"Heart's on fire tonight, feel my bones ignite, it feels like war. Love feels like war. We go together or we don't go down at all. Is this the end of us, or just a means to start again?"

》 old scars, future hearts 《 [sequel] Namjoon x reader

"Say that again, I didn't quite hear ya, messed with the wrong bitch in the wrong era. I've been at work and I got my badge of honor, honey I've changed so much since I last saw ya."

To read in chronological order:

1. edge of tonight (main)

part eight, the night (beginning)

part eight, the night (middle)

part eight, the night (end)

part nine, the decade - up to the section titled "Eight Years"

2. sinners & saints

3. monsters

4. edge of tonight (main)

part nine, the decade - starting at the section titled "Ten Years"

then beginning to end, skipping parts 8 and 9

5. a love like war

can be read after eot main or in tandem with eot main, starting after part five, the ball

corresponding eot main chapters are listed in the masterlist

6. old scars, future hearts

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 2 years ago

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So here's the thing.

I love writing. It's always been my preferred outlet to work thru events in my life and my feelings about them.

I love eot. It is my first child and I have already learned so much about writing and myself while working on it.

But eot is a pretty dark story, and I need to take breaks while writing it in order to maintain my own mental health. I'm learning how to not feel bad about these breaks and to accept that breaks, in general, are good.

But I still wanna write stuff. And I still wanna share that stuff with you. I've been working on some other happier, fluffier (crackier) stories, but idk which ones to throw out into the world first.

wip masterlist

#eot is not going on hiatus and it will be completed #i just need a breather #eot things #eot updates #wips #polls #jay screams into the void

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 2 years ago

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Jay's Tumblr Anniversary "Edge of Tonight" Spoilers Game

(sorry if you're on mobile and the title is huge, it's for the ✨️ aesthetic ✨️)

Happy anniversary to me!!! 🥳🥳🥳 I have been on this website for so goddamn long it's kind of crazy lmao

So here's how the game will work

Head over to the eot masterlist and pick any one of the future chapters ("the arrangement" thru "the choice")

Send me an ask with the chapter title and a number 1-3

You can also add a preference for a specific character and/or genre (fluff, angst, or crack; no smut) but depending on the chapter you choose I may not be able to fully honor the character/genre request

And that's it! You can start sending in your requests now; the game will be open all weekend long and I'll start answering asks on Friday.

Thank you so much to each and every one of you, truly I'm so grateful for you all. Thank you for sticking around (even tho I'm not the most talkative) and for reading eot and giving it your love (I had no idea it would blow up like this). I can't wait to see what y'all send in.

Happy anniversary!! Let the party begin!!! 🥳

#tumblr anniversary #ask games #eot things #jay screams into the void

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 2 years ago

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jay's wip masterlist

main masterlist

NAMJOON:

》》 Edge of Tonight (series) 57% complete

My current on-going mafia au, my first child, my precious baby. If you haven't read it yet, you should 😁 Ideally, I wanna have eot finished by the end of the year, but we'll see what happens.

》》 eot: old scars, future hearts (series) planning

sequel to eot main, coming after all the other eot things are done

》》 Just Take it Easy (one-shot) writing

Joon's second valen-tan story. High school au themed around prom

SEOKJIN:

》》 ruffled feathers (series) planning

swan princess au, that's all I know rn, check out the concept moodboard here

》》 eot: sinners & saints (one-shot) writing

Jin's one-shot eot spin off that was also part of valen-tans. Tells the story of how he met Coffee Girl

YOONGI:

》》 dusk (series) 2% complete

Dusk is going to be a kpop retelling of twilight, yoongi is Edward Cullen, and I am so fucking stoked for this one. This series will start after I finish eot. Check out the concept moodboard here

》》 Ready to Go (one-shot) writing

Yoongi's second valen-tan story. High school au, "opposites attract" sorta theme.

HOBI:

》》 Book Club (series) brainstorming

"Modern au odyssey where it's just a fucked up road trip". Concept moodboard here

JIMIN:

》》 Flying Shadows, Falling Stars (series) brainstorming

Something "Peter Pan" related, check out the concept moodboard here

》》 eot: a love like war (mini-series) planning

Jimin's eot spin-off, exes to lovers. It's actually a companion story to the main story: while that one follows that mc and Namjoon's relationship, this one will follow Jimin's perspective of the same events, as well as his relationships with a different mc (and Tae). I'm still up in the air on if I wanna wait until eot main is done or not before I start posting this one. Important things happen here that affect the main story, but happen off-screen there... Check out the concept moodboard here

》》 Question (one-shot) writing

Jimin's second valen-tan story. Celebrity (but not idol) au, club au, touch of angst but a happy ending.

TAEHYUNG:

》》 War of the Gods (series) planning

Fantasy adventure au, kinda like D&D sorta vibes; demigod!reader; found family tropes; "rage against the shitty authorities that created the horrible situations you're now stuck in". This story originally started out as a shitty fanfic to one of my favorite games when I was a kid, that then grew into its own tale as I grew up, that I'm now slapping a bts paint job onto. Check out the concept moodboard here

》》 If It's Worth It (one-shot) writing

Tae's second valen-tan story. Biker au, "opposites attract" theme.

JUNGKOOK:

》》 in this neighborhood, on these streets (itnots) (feat. Taehyung) (series) planning

Bullet fic, high school/college au (starts in high school, finishes in college), flashback story, coming of age story, teenagers making very teenager-y decisions, young adults learning how to adult, everything is based on taylor swift songs, title subject to change. Taehyung x reader is extremely prevalent throughout almost the entire story, but Jungkook x reader is endgame (will also feature Jimin x reader, Hobi x reader, and Jin x reader, but these are all side flings). See Jungkook's concept moodboard here, Tae's here, and the one for the full story here

》》 champagne confetti/champagne problems (two-parter) brainstorming

idk yet, part one is based around 3D (by jk) and part two is based around champagne problems (by t.swift)

》》 Mixing Fireworks & Gasoline (one-shot) writing

Jungkook's second valen-tan story. Biker au, angst, almost a toxic relationship

OTHER:

》》 eot: monsters (series) planning

I don't wanna say too much about this one bc I dont wanna spoil too much, I want it to be a surprise. It's a midquel to eot main, and you can check out the concept moodboard here

》》 deviltown (mini-series) 29% complete

a bts autumn "over the garden wall"-esque mini-series coming this october

#bts fanfic #bts writing #bts fluff #bts angst #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #yoongi x reader #hobi x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #masterlist #works in progress #wip masterlist #jay screams into the void

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 2 years ago

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this is no longer an interlude, it is an official chapter

"edge of tonight" ~ part eleven, the morning

pairing: namjoon x reader (lots of platonic ot7 x reader) rating: T (for tears) genre: mafia au, angst this part: Jin makes you breakfast. tw: mafia au!, angst, swearing, jimin is a little shit (albeit a well-meaning one), namjoon is so sad, jungkook is too pure for this story ngl, jin is... aggressive but also in a well-meaning way, mentions of sex but nothing happens word count: ~5.5k track #14: Pick a Fight ~ Anna Akana: "Woke up feeling hopeless, despaired, despondent." the edge of tonight masterlist an: surprise!! the story behind this is, i thought the next chapter was going to be too short, so i wrote this as the beginning; but now having written about half of the next chapter, i have discovered that the word count will be just fine and this really should've been used as the end of the last chapter. really this is just why you should plan out your fic before you start writing willy-nilly. UPDATE AN 10/9/22: THIS IS NOW AN OFFICIAL CHAPTER. I did some extra plotting and self-discovery and decided that this isn't an interlude, it's a full chapter. anyways, i hope you enjoy!! this is canon, it takes place between the last chapter (the aftermath) and the next (the meeting). please please please let me know what you think! thanks for reading!! and as always, the lovely moodboard at the bottom was made by the fantastic @mirahuyooo

Namjoon woke to the distant sounds of yelling.

Which was not unusual for nights when all seven of them stayed at the main estate. Boys would be boys and there was always some kind of minor scuffle in the mornings—it was usually food related and once breakfast was figured out everyone would calm down.

He carefully lifted his head off his desk, slowly stretching his muscles around. Jin would get after him for falling asleep at his desk again. Usually he at least managed to get to one of the couches before crashing. Parts of his spine cracked as he moved. He took a deep breath, then stood and started towards the office door, continuing to shake off the soreness of his limbs.

Namjoon froze when he opened the door and heard, amidst the usual morning yelling, a distinctly feminine voice. One he had nearly forgotten, one he thought he had dreamt up.

The events of the previous night came flooding back. It was like being shot in the chest all over again.

I watched you close the door.

Namjoon shut the office door with an audible slam. The voices from downstairs paused at the sound, before starting up again quieter than before. Namjoon rested his head against the cool wood and squeezed his eyes shut.

What would've been if he hadn't left you there? If he had carried you in his arms out of that horrid place? If Jin had taken care of your wounds and Yoongi had gotten you some food and Hoseok had made some quip that would make you smile again? If Namjoon had wiped your tears away and held you tight and promised that you would never leave his sight again?

If Namjoon had kept his promises to you?

I'll find you again, I promise. Wherever you're at, I promise I'll find you.

You found me, and then you left me there.

She's not here.

I watched you close the door.

I promise I will always find you and I will always come back.

I waited for you for so long.

Namjoon was never one to try to hide. He was always praised growing up on how responsible he was, how he took credit where it was due and owned up to his mistakes. But right now Namjoon wanted nothing more for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. How could he face you now, after what he did to you? After what he didn't do?

There was a soft knock on the other side of the door. "Namjoon-hyung?" The voice was muffled, but Namjoon could still tell it was Jimin. He had sat with Namjoon for a long time after you left, after the rest of the members dispersed.

"You're gonna overthink this into oblivion, hyung," he'd said. "It wasn't your fault, and she doesn't blame you." He repeated that over and over again, along with what he had told Jungkook, what happened is what happened, we can't change the past, she's here now. None of it made Namjoon feel any better.

It only made Namjoon regret things even more.

Namjoon took a deep breath, trying to steel his nerves, and then opened the door once again. Jimin was standing just outside, already showered and dressed for the day in a fresh slim suit, while Namjoon was still rocking the (now very wrinkled) tux he had worn to the ball last night. "How'd you sleep?" Jimin asked, knowing full-well the answer was not great.

Namjoon ran a hand over his face and sighed. "What's going on downstairs?" he asked instead. Jimin snickered and chose to ignore the blatant change of topic.

"Y/N has stated that she will be perfectly fine to walk all the way back to the city, grab breakfast at some café, still have her meeting with Song's guy and make it out alive, and then get to the train station and catch the next train to Busan—all by herself. I told her to watch out for anyone who starts turning into a zombie, and she looked at me like I was crazy."

Even Namjoon rolled his eyes at that one. "I expect that from Jin-hyung, not you."

"Oh, Jin-hyung would've made the joke, except he was too busy demanding that she stays and he'll make her breakfast, Hoseok-hyung was insisting to drive her wherever she needs to go, Yoongi-hyung offered to sit in on the meeting and make sure she gets out alive, and Jungkookie is begging her not to leave, as only our dear youngest would."

Namjoon's mind absorbed the information like a sponge and noticed the two members who had been left out. "What are you and Tae doing?"

Jimin only shrugged, "Sitting back, watching the chaos, making Train to Busan references that are going right over her head." His brows furrowed and he lowered his voice to make sure it wouldn't carry. "I mean, seriously, she was free in Busan for 6 years. Unless she was living under a rock that entire time, there's no way she hasn't at least heard the basic premise."

Now that was an interesting point, one Namjoon could chew on in the back of his mind. You were free in Busan. No one would look for you in Busan. Sure, you ended up becoming a bounty hunter, but there was a big difference between simply laying low and completely disconnecting yourself from the outside world.

Which begged the question, were you actually free in Busan?

"Anyway," Jimin continued, voice returning to normal, "Jin-hyung muttered something about 'going to get Namjoon because Namjoon is the only one, you'll listen to' and then we all heard the door slam, and I decided to be the one to come get you and let you know what you're gonna be walking into."

Namjoon looked towards the staircase, listened to the overlapping voices without really hearing them. His hand twitched at his side. How could he face you?

Jimin flicked his forehead. "Knock it off!"

"Ow!" Namjoon rubbed at the spot and glared at the younger.

"It's not your fault, and she doesn't blame you."

"How do you know??"

Jimin looked Namjoon dead in the eye. "Because she relaxed the second your name was mentioned."

That. That caught his attention. That was familiar.

The second she feels nervous or uncomfortable she goes to you. She reaches for you.

"It was only the tiniest bit," Jimin went on, "and her walls went back up pretty fast—I think Kookie was the only other one who noticed it—but she did. Subconsciously, whether she wants to admit it or not, and my vote is definitely on not, she still needs you."

Not me, not Hobi, not Yoongi, you.

"And Jin-hyung was right to come get you, but not because you're the only one she'll listen to. It's because you're the only one who will listen to her. And right now, she needs someone on her side."

And that's how Jimin left Namjoon, standing in the doorway of his office, as the younger went back downstairs. And Namjoon stood there for another minute, his mind racing with everything Jimin had just told him before the waters stilled on one single thought.

She needs someone on her side.

There was nothing Namjoon could do that would make up for the last ten years—he would be trying for the rest of his life. But he could start with this. So Namjoon took another deep breath and walked down the stairs.

"Namjoon, finally!" Jin was the first voice to break over the rest. "Can you please tell—"

"None of you are in charge of me!"

Jimin never lied, but he definitely needed to be more specific sometimes. You were literally facing off against the rest of them (most of whom were still in their pajamas), already dressed in a red sweater and black jeans, complete with your red hat and green jacket. You were clearly ready to leave. Namjoon didn't want you to go, but—

She needs someone on her side.

"Hyung, she's right," Namjoon said, sounding every bit the leader he definitely didn't look like. "We're not." Shocked faces turned to look at him, but yours was confused, like you couldn't understand why he was backing you up.

"You were told what she's trying to do?" Jin asked, looking between Namjoon and Jimin. "Namjoon, it's insane!"

"Then I'm insane. Are we done now?" It was almost like you were waiting for one of them to dismiss you. To say yes, we're done, you can go. It wasn't like you.

The room finally fell into silence and everyone looked at Namjoon, expecting him to have the last word. Namjoon looked at you, expecting you to say something, to explain, but you only turned away from all of them and took a step towards the main entrance.

"I'll make crêpes."

The way Jin said it made it sound like a threat. They all turned to eldest with wide eyes, but you resolutely stood with your back to them, silent.

"Shut up."

"You fucker."

"That's low, hyung, even for you."

Jin's crêpes were your absolute favorite. You used to ask him to make them all the time, and he had always told you no, then they won't be special. It was just another thing that was taken away when you were, but now—

"I'll even make the raspberry syrup."

Jin was pulling out all the stops.

"We have raspberries??" Tae and Jungkook asked together, perking up far too much at the idea.

"Not for you," Jin answered, eyes still locked on the back of your head, "and only if Y/N stays for breakfast."

"Hyung, that's not fair," Jimin said quietly, glancing back and forth between you and Namjoon. Namjoon could practically hear Jimin's mind yelling at him to do something. Because he was right, it wasn't fair, but not in the sense that they wouldn't get breakfast.

It wasn't fair to place that kind of ultimatum on you.

Namjoon opened his mouth to shut the whole thing down, but you sighed. Your head dipped down ever so slightly and your shoulders slumped. "Fine," you said, somehow sounding more defeated than you had last night. "Whatever." You turned, gaze locked on the floor, and walked around them to get to the kitchen. Jin followed after a moment, and one by one they each trickled in.

You sat at the island, resting your arms on the jacket balled up underneath them and staring dejectedly at the countertop. Yoongi and Hoseok took seats on each side of you, and Jungkook sat on the other side of Yoongi.

Jin donned his rarely used apron and bustled about, collecting ingredients and utensils. Taehyung and Jimin sat together at the table, Tae flipped through another fashion magazine and Jimin scrolled through his phone, looking upset about something.

Namjoon leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets. He felt out of place somehow, something just wasn't quite right, and it took a moment to realize it was you. He had been without you for so long that suddenly having you here felt wrong, it felt different.

You were different.

Namjoon had always thought that once you were back, things would be the same as they used to. Hoseok would make you laugh; Yoongi would have little sarcastic spats with you that would end in you calling him a piece if shit and him calling you jagiya. Jin would start cooking again.

But now, Hoseok sat next to you silently, not even looking at you. Yoongi played on his phone, but he kept glancing up at you. His mouth kept parting, like he was going to say something, but he kept backing down. And sure, Jin was making breakfast, but he practically threatened you with it.

Fine. Whatever.

Namjoon took a deep breath, wanting desperately to fill the silence and end the tension. "So—"

"I'm not answering any more questions." And after the unintentional interrogation you were put through last night, Namjoon couldn't blame you.

"—what does everyone else have going on today?" Business didn't stop just because you had come back.

"I have a shift at the hospital later this afternoon," Jin answered first, stirring the syrup over the stove.

"I was gonna drag you to Genius Labs later," Yoongi said, "just to get you out of the house."

Hoseok looked at Namjoon. "Just Dance is closed for the holiday weekend, so Jimin and I are free."

"I'm not doing anything," Jungkook answered, looking almost too innocent. Namjoon raised a small eyebrow at the maknae. "I'm not, hyung, really! The Basement is closed too!"

"I am not free," Jimin spoke up, still looking at his phone. "Tae's gotta go in to finalize the pictures being used in the February issue and I'm going with him."

"And then," Tae continued, turning another page in the magazine, "Jimin is going straight to Serendipity to try to drown his sorrows, again."

"I am not!"

"You so are! You would've gone last night had Namjoon-hyung not called the meeting."

"Wait, why is Jimin-hyung drowning his sorrows?" Jungkook asked. "Did something else happen last night?"

"I'm not!"

"Oh, something happened alright," Tae snickered.

"It's not funny!"

"No, it's ironic."

"Taehyung, quit pushing Jimin's buttons," Jin said, spooning batter into a heated pan.

"Not Tae's fault Jimin makes it so easy," Yoongi muttered.

"I hate all of you."

"Hyung! What happened?" Jungkook asked again.

Jimin sighed. In the momentary silence of the kitchen, Namjoon looked at you. You sat unmoving as you listened to everyone. Namjoon would've thought you had fallen asleep, but there was still too much tension in your shoulders.

"She isn't the only one who decided to reappear after a decade." Jimin was glaring at the back of your head, but he wasn't really looking at you. In his mind's eye he saw—

Hoseok turned around fully. "Your ex was there last night?"

"Someone actually dated you?" Yoongi asked as he looked over his shoulder. "I thought you had sworn off dating and stuck to one-night stands only."

"She's the reason why," Taehyung answered, turning another page, "and now he's stalking her Instagram."

"TaeTae, please," Jimin groaned with a hand covering his face, "stop."

"Namjoon-hyung!" Jungkook spoke up, deciding to turn the attention away from Jimin and give him a bit of a break. "What are you doing today?"

That. That was a good question.

"I… don't know," came the slow, stiff answer from the leader. Usually, the majority of Namjoon's time would be absorbed with the inner workings of the North scene: who was worth trying to strike a deal with and for what, which allies were starting to get too comfortable or bold in their dealings, and all of it was done with the end goal of you.

But. You were here. The plan was always, once you were back the gang would dissolve, so to speak, and then you and Namjoon would fuck off somewhere. But all those plans were made before Bangtan had even formed, much less grown as big as it was now. Namjoon was running an entire operation; he couldn't just drop everything and walk away with you.

As much as he wanted to.

"I'm not the only one who hears the buzzing, right?" Hoseok asked suddenly, looking around at the other members. Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. It was faint, Namjoon could hardly hear it over Jin's cooking, but it was there.

"I don't hear anything," Taehyung supplied, still not looking up.

"I do." Yoongi put his phone down. "What is that?"

"It's my phone," you sighed as you sat up. You messed around with your jacket, unbundling it and pulling the device from one of the pockets.

"How the fuck do you have a flip phone??" Hoseok's eyes went wide at the sight. "Even most burners are crappy first gen iPhones these days."

You put the phone down on the counter, and the buzzing amplified. "It doesn't connect to the internet, so unless you have the number and I answer the call, it can't be traced." The phone went still for a moment, then started vibrating again.

"So who's call are you avoiding?" Yoongi tentatively asked, looking between the device and you.

Jungkook spoke up before you could answer. "Is it still that Jackson guy?"

"Who the fuck is Jackson?" Jin turned around after flipping a crêpe, eyeing you questioningly.

"That's exactly what I asked when we were on our way here last night," Jungkook said, "but Y/N-ssi didn't answer." Several eyebrows were raised at Y/N-ssi, their youngest had always called you noona—was he nervous to do so in front of you now?

"I didn't wanna talk about him then and I don't wanna talk about him now." You sent a small glare to Jin in return. "Don't fucking burn my crêpe."

"Oh, the one your pride nearly turned down?" Jin turned back around to remove the pastry from the pan and place it on the plate sitting next to the stove. "Besides, arson is Yoongi-ah's thing."

"Not my fault the rest of you are cowards," Yoongi muttered in response, picking his phone up and returning to whatever he was doing.

"I like burning things," Jungkook said.

"You're too young for that." Which got an eyeroll from the maknae. He was not.

"So, like," Hoseok started, turning towards you with more hesitation Namjoon had ever seen from his friend. "You and Jackson aren't dating, are y—"

"NO."

Namjoon had never heard your voice carry that much venom in it before. His only guess was you really did not want to talk about whoever Jackson was. Namjoon also guessed that you would, if only to keep any other questions from arising.

Namjoon was right.

You let out a sigh and rested your head against your hand with your eyes closed. "Jackson is my handler," you told them. "He takes care of the money and the jobs and tells me where to go and who to kill." There was something else, something you weren't saying, something that kept your shoulders nearly up to your ears.

"Sounds like a decent deal," Yoongi said. "Did you meet him in Busan?"

You bit your lip. "Nope."

Oh, Namjoon wasn't going to like this. "Then where did you find him?" He dared to ask. His hands clenched in his pockets as he tried to remain neutral.

It took you a moment to answer. "I didn't. He found me." You looked over and met Namjoon's eyes. "Jackson got me out."

Years of remaining neutral in the face of everything the underground had to throw at him, and those four words nearly shattered all of it.

"He's the one who took me down to Busan," you continued, "and then it was his idea to start the whole bounty hunter thing."

"And you just went with it?" Taehyung asked, magazine open and forgotten on the dining table. "You didn't, I don't know, try to get back to Seoul, even on your own?"

Namjoon held your gaze and saw the flash of fear and pain in your eyes. "I didn't get a choice."

"You slept with him, didn't you?" A series of oh my gods and Jimin!s rang through the room. Your head whipped around so quickly Hoseok heard your neck pop.

If looks could send someone directly to hell, the way you glared at the blond—who was sitting confidently in his chair, leaning back with his hands in his pockets—would've sent him straight to Dante's Seventh Circle.

"That is none of your business." Your voice was quiet, and in Namjoon's opinion, not nearly as firm or threatening as he remembered it being when you were angry.

Jimin had the audacity to smirk. "That means yes." You shrunk back and wrapped your arms around yourself, like you were trying to hide and defend and hold yourself together all at once. "And that means that you probably didn't want to, and I'm willing to bet you didn't like it either."

"Jimin, that's enough," Namjoon snapped. Namjoon didn't want to think about it, and he didn't want Jimin to keep egging you on about it. You turned around, keeping your head down, and put the jacket on. You were actively trying to hide now.

"Hyung," Taehyung stood, "I think we're gonna go." Namjoon caught the liar's gaze. "I've got a lot to do today." Namjoon nodded. No, Tae didn't, but his day was now going to be filled with ripping Jimin a new one, Namjoon could see it in his eyes.

Jimin followed suit and slowly started making his way to the garage door, but he kept his eyes on the back of your head. "I'm just saying—"

"Do not."

"Hyung, you really shouldn't."

"Why must you dig your grave so deep?"

"—he got you out, okay, great, cool. You owe him your gratitude. You don't owe him your body." And with that, Jimin strolled out, leaving Taehyung to chase after him.

"Why are you like this?" You all heard Tae ask before the door had fully closed. An uncomfortable silence filled the area in their absence, the few sounds being Jin who was continuing to cook and your phone still buzzing from unanswered calls. Namjoon wanted to apologize for Jimin—Namjoon wanted to apologize for a lot of things—but he wasn't quite sure how.

It was you who broke the silence. "You know," you said, playing with your fingers to avoid making eye contact, "I had decided last night once I knew that you were, well, you, that I wasn't going to kill any of you, but uh, you might end up down a member anyway."

Hoseok nodded, even though you weren't looking at him. "No one's gonna stop you."

"I will!" Jungkook pouted. Namjoon knew that look—the pout, the furrowed brows, the wide and all-too-innocent doe eyes. The kid could get away with murder if he told the cops he didn't do it while looking like that, even if he was covered in blood. (It's why his hyungs gave in to him so easily, and Jungkook knew that and had no problem exploiting it, including now).

"Try not to take him too seriously?" He asked you. "Jimin-hyung's not normally like that, really. He's usually really really sweet, and I guess he just had a bad night—"

"Kook-ah, I think we all had a bad night."

"—but he still shouldn't have taken it out on you." Namjoon watched for your reaction and was surprised to see a lack of one. There was no soft smile giving in to the youngest's plea, there was no frown in disagreement. There was nothing, like you were just... empty.

"Alright your highness," Jin said, finally turning around to properly face the rest of you. He placed a plate down in front of you with a stack of crêpes folded into fourths about six centimeters high, drizzled in red raspberry syrup and garnished with full raspberries and lightly dusted in powdered sugar. He handed you a fork. "Far better than some shitty croissant you'd get at a cheap downtown café."

"You offered," you mumbled as you dug in. For someone who had so firmly protested against being fed, you certainly began devouring the food. Almost like it had been a while since your last decent meal. Almost like you didn't know when your next one would be.

"Uh, hyung?" Hoseok questioned, leaning over to peer around Jin. "Where's the rest of them?" The stove was off and the bowls and utensils were stacked together, waiting to be moved over to the sink.

"The rest of what?" Jin asked in response, except his tone suggested he knew exactly what Hoseok was asking.

"Hyung, I saw you piling crêpes on a second plate," the hacker insisted, "where's the rest of them??"

Jin only shrugged. "The rest of what?" he repeated. Namjoon bit back a smile. Of course Jin only made breakfast for you. He really shouldn't have expected anything different.

Hoseok didn't answer, per se, but he and Yoongi glared at the eldest. Jin wasn't even phased. "You go missing for ten years, Hoseok-ah, then I'll make you some damn crêpes." He turned and grabbed his small stack of dishes and started washing them out.

"Are there any raspberries left, hyung?" Jungkook asked, knowing full well the quarter-full container of raspberries was sitting right there on the counter with the rest of the ingredients. "Can I have some?" Jin sighed.

"Save some for TaeTae."

"Yes!" The youngest hopped off his seat and bounded for the plastic box, quickly shoving three into his mouth.

"I can't believe this," Hoseok muttered, still staring at Jin's back.

"What a complete and utter betrayal," Yoongi added, "and after everything I've done for you."

Namjoon caught your eye roll. You put the fork down and pushed the plate away, the food only half-eaten. "For god's sake, here. You two can share the rest." Everyone turned to you in shock—you never shared food Jin specifically made for you, it was yours (and especially when it was crêpes)—and every mouth opened to tell you no it's fine, keep eating, it's for you, but a sudden ringing cut them all off.

"Shit," you said, grabbing your phone. You only glanced at the caller ID before looking up at Jin. "Turn that off," you nodded at the running faucet, "I need it quieter than the dead in here." Jin complied immediately, and the rest of them froze, Yoongi and Hoseok barely even breathing next to you. You turned around and took a deep breath, then flipped the device open and held it against your ear. "Hello?"

Namjoon looked at you in awe. Last night, you were angry and sad. Earlier, you were empty and defeated. But something in you transformed when you answered.

"I'll be honest, Mr. Wang, I wasn't expecting your call this morning."

Your back was straight, your head held high; Namjoon couldn't see your eyes from this angle (and he didn't dare move to get a better view) but he could imagine the coldness shining through them. And your voice—

"If the events of the ball have already been reported, then I don't believe a meeting is necessary."

It rang with an authority Namjoon had forgotten you had. I am the child of a mob boss, you had once told them.

"Oh, I'm sure there are plenty. Very few of them, however, would be of concern to you."

Last night, you were a jaded ex. Earlier, you were just broken. But right now, you were a mob boss in your own right, a queen capable of running an empire, of burning the country to the ground.

"Allow me to make this easy, Mr. Wang: due to personal complications, I can no longer complete this job. I can have the money returned to you—"

Why the fuck you would try returning eight billion won was beyond the rest of them, and the way you were cut off suggested that Mr. Wang thought so as well. You let out a silent sigh, your shoulders dipping in defeat ever so slightly.

"Well, how can I refuse such an offer?" Namjoon was able to pick up the barely-there note of resignation in your voice. "Same place? … Of course not... One hour, Mr. Wang." You closed the phone, ending the call, and all that power and authority melted right off you as you slumped forward. You looked like you were carrying the weight of the entire world on your shoulders, and all Namjoon wanted was to relieve you of that burden.

"That sounded like a trap," Yoongi said after a moment. Something similar to a laugh left your mouth.

"Of course it's a trap," you responded. "Unfortunately, not walking into it will result in worse things happening." You finally stood up, stretching your legs out, and looked around at the few members remaining. "I have to be in downtown Seoul in an hour."

Hoseok jumped up. "I'll drive!"

"Absolutely fucking not."

"Please?"

"Hobi, Jin just made me a delicious breakfast that I would like to keep inside me. You are not driving."

"A delicious breakfast you only ate half of!" Jin scolded from the sink, having started washing his dishes again.

"I've gotten better," Hoseok told you, but you shook your head.

"I don't believe you."

"He really has," Yoongi added, once again looking at his phone. "He even taught Kook-ah how to drive."

You looked at the maknae, eyes wide in confusion, as he continued to snack on the remaining raspberries (and definitely not leaving any for Taehyung). "But you drove so normal."

Jungkook shrugged. "You were in the car," he said, as if that was the only explanation needed, "and I know the stories."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before looking at Namjoon. You looked tired, so, so tired, a kind of tired Namjoon understood all too well. You just wanted this to be over, so Namjoon stepped in.

"Yoongi will drive. Hoseok, Jungkook, you'll go too." The three nodded and immediately left to go get dressed. You lifted an eyebrow.

"Three is overkill," you told him quietly, then, "I kinda thought you would offer." Namjoon's eyes widened the tiniest bit—did you want to be alone with him? Would he finally get his one-on-one with you?

Was he ready for that?

"Namjoon-ah still can't drive," Jin said, turning the water off and drying his hands. Namjoon ducked his head, hoping his blush wasn't too obvious as both your eyebrows raised.

"Still?"

The leader nodded. "Jin-hyung thinks it's beneath him—"

"I'm a doctor, not a driving instructor."

"—Yoongi-hyung doesn't have the patience for it, and I didn't want to learn from Hoseok-hyung." You simply nodded in return, agreeing with the logic. You probably wouldn't want to learn from Hoseok either.

"Yah," Jin chided, pushing the plate of half-eaten crêpes towards you, "finish eating while you wait. We still don't waste food in this house."

You rolled your eyes but stepped towards the island to take another bite. "You couldn't waste food in this house if you tried," you said between mouthfuls. "Jungkook alone looks like he could clear out a fully-stocked fridge."

"He has," Namjoon and Jin said in unison, Namjoon with a fond smile on his face and Jin with a scowl. Jin continued, "I swear that boy hits puberty again every other month, the way he eats me out of house and home sometimes. I'm a growing teenage boy, hyung—he's twenty-five!" You ducked your head, holding a hand up to your mouth while Jin rambled on as only Jin could. There was a small shake to your shoulders and you closed your eyes.

Namjoon felt a small warmth inside him—a tiny flame melting away some of that ice that had collected over the years without you—as he watched you try not to laugh. A lot of things had changed, but maybe not everything.

"What's Jin going on about this time?" Yoongi asked as he re-entered the kitchen, dressed warm but casual with a black beanie already on his head and his phone still in hand. Hoseok and Jungkook followed soon after, dressed similarly; though Jungkook was also sporting his leather jacket (the one he wore when he was trying to impress someone).

"Kookie's eating habits," Namjoon answered smoothly.

"I'm a growing teenage boy, hyung!"

"Jeon Jungkook!" Despite Jin's scolding, the maknae had a bright smile on his face. "I told you to save some raspberries for Taehyung! Why does it look like you ate them like popcorn??"

"Because I was entertained and I had raspberries instead of popcorn." Namjoon rolled his eyes at the maknae's response but couldn't hide his own small smile. This kid...

"Glad to know I'm still entertaining," you said before Jin could start up again, pushing the now empty plate away. You didn't look at anyone, probably to keep your smile hidden (even though Namjoon could hear it in your tone). "I've got an address, let's go." You straightened your hat and finally silenced your phone, slipping it into your jacket pocket. Yoongi walked up to you and asked for the address, typing it into his phone.

"You aren't coming?" Hoseok asked quietly. Namjoon shook his head. He knew he'd end up doing something stupid, and he didn't want to risk your safety any more than it already was.

"We'll keep her safe, hyung," Jungkook whispered, offering a reassuring smile.

"Keep yourselves safe too." The two nodded, then Namjoon watched as you, once again, walked away from him.

Jin waited until he heard the rumble of the car and the grinding of tires on the gravel before standing and opening one of the lower cupboards. Namjoon watched in confusion as Jin pulled a second small plate of crêpes out and pushed it towards the younger.

"Eat, Joon-ah," Jin said gently, "then go take a shower and get properly dressed." The eldest finally took his apron off, hung it up in the pantry. "You're less cranky after you've taken care of yourself." Jin left the leader to his sudden breakfast before Namjoon could respond.

thank you again for reading!! please let me know what you think. hopefully the next chapter will be up in the next week or two so you can look forward to that coming soon!! and a super special thank you to my taglist peeps, lemme know if you want to be added to list and subsequently become a Cool Kid™️ @illnevertrustmyselfagain @misschino @youlook-likehell @dany-but-not-targaryen @nyx-goddess-of-choas @fangirl125reader @wordsaremyswords @clowdyblue @tutnotmytea @scentedsope @hope122598 @veronawrites @ayoongiverse @myooniverse @jiminrings @mirahuyooo @cafemyg @lolalee24@elyte @hyungieyoongi @singukieee @hello-neema @thebadassmotherofmyshotas @kawaii-bear @notsooperfect @mintyoonjisworld @glams00 @thisisnotangel @fangirl-and-stuff @dprssdgal @irony-of-living @hobateas @remmykinsff @gukieater @cherrie11113 @lovra974 @girlwithluv0613 @whatsakilo @yoursoontobestepmom @juju-227592 @zahraaelamira @xyahrinx @belladaises @jaiuneamesolitaiire @lookhere-2seok @imnotokayfuckup @rjsmochii @theealanis @mintsugarmy @rosesarehim @smol-grandpa @highly-functioning-mitochondria

#i'll update the masterlist soon #i am replotting some things #eot things #eot updates #bts #bts fic #bts writing #bts mafia #bts mafia au #bts angst #namjoon x reader #ot7 x reader #namjoon fic #ot7 fic #edge of tonight #part eleven #sr #jay screams into the void

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 3 years ago

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“edge of tonight” masterlist

pairing: namjoon x reader (lots of platonic ot7 x reader) rating: T 16+ genre: mafia au, angst current total wc: 132.2k

summary: A part of him died that night. A larger part died when they couldn't find you, and over the years whatever was left of him grew cold and hard. It was that ice inside him that got their gang to the top, that gave them power, and money, and all the things a normal mafioso would be more than satisfied with. But none of it meant anything to Namjoon. All Namjoon wanted was you back in his arms. That was the underlying motive in everything he did. For the past ten years, Namjoon built himself an empire, just so he could find the reason his heart beat.

tw: mafia!au, angst, kidnapping, heavy mentions of rape/non-con and underage rape/non-con (absolutely nothing explicit), potential/referenced self-harm, trauma/PTSD, sexual and emotional manipulation, gaslighting, lots of swearing, jimin is a little shit, jungkook has a pain kink, namjoon is so sad, alcohol consumption, implied sexual content but nothing explicit (edging, overstimulation, specifically trying to get laid, sleeping with people just to kill them, someone gets kneed in the dick, sex jokes, jimin is the resident hoe but you didn’t hear that from me), violence (fist fights, gun fights, knives, blood, various injuries), unrequited love, unhealthy coping mechanisms, interventions, hurt/comfort, idiots in love ~ this will be updated as the series goes on!

read on ao3 ~ read on wattpad character profiles playlist moodboards ~ characters ~ pt. 1 ~ pt. 2 ~ pt. 3 main masterlist

coming soon: EOT part seventeen ~ the withdrawal EOT: Monsters ~ concept moodboard EOT: A Love Like War ~ concept moodboard

prologue ~ the alley ~1.6k part one ~ the office ~2.1k part two ~ the bar ~2.7k part three ~ the store ~2.7k part four ~ the dress ~3.9k part five ~ the ball ~6.4k ~~drabble one ~ the dance ~2.3k part six ~ the apartment ~4.2k part seven ~ the job ~4.6k part eight ~ the night, beginning ~7.0k part eight ~ the night, middle ~5.9k part eight ~ the night, end ~10.1k part nine ~ the decade ~18.8k part ten ~ the aftermath ~6.0k part eleven ~ the morning ~5.5k part twelve ~ the meeting ~8.6k part thirteen ~ the call ~6.2k part fourteen ~ the conversation ~6.6k part fifteen ~ the vault ~9.7k part sixteen ~ the game ~11.3k part seventeen ~ the withdrawal ~7.6k part eighteen ~ the intervention part nineteen ~ the fall part twenty ~ the calm part twenty-one ~ the storm part twenty-two ~ the villain part twenty-three ~ the room part twenty-four ~ the break part twenty-five ~ the plan part twenty-six ~ the rescue part twenty-seven ~ the shot part twenty-eight ~ the edge epilogue ~ the choice

#bts #bts mafia #bts mafia au #bts fic #bts writing #bts angst #namjoon x reader #ot7 x reader #namjoon fic #ot7 fic #masterlist #edge of tonight

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park-jimin-isnt-real · 3 years ago

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“edge of tonight” drabble one ~ the dance

pairing: namjoon x reader (lots of platonic ot7 x reader) rating: T 16+ genre: mafia au, angst this drabble: Namjoon asks for a dance. tw: mafia!au, fluff (??? in an angst story???), angst word count: ~2.3k an: This isn’t part of the canon. It was something Reyna and I had planned to put in “the ball” but due to the universe rules I had already established, it wasn’t going to work. But we still really wanted it anyways, so I decided to us it as a drabble to celebrate my (very first) follower milestone and EOT turning one month old (I like celebrating the little things, it makes life more fun). I hope you enjoy it! Thank you, again, so much for reading!! Let me know what you think, feedback is always appreciated! the edge of tonight masterlist

Namjoon leaned against a pillar, drink in hand, as he watched the dancers twirl across the floor. Masquerades, in his humble opinion, were stupid. The point of mob families attending events such as a charity ball was for them to meet and try to one up each other, or to gain information. Masquerades, or more particularly masks, made that extremely difficult. Sure, they were fun, if the guest was nothing more than a date, or they were blissfully unaware of the type of people they were surrounded by.

It wasn't _impossible _to tell who was who beneath the mask, it just slowed Namjoon's process down considerably. He enjoyed sneaking into conversations he shouldn't have been in, people underestimated him because he looked too young to be that high up. But when half his face was covered, those same people became too suspicious.

Still, though, he supposed there could be something here to enjoy tonight. At the very least, Jin and his date looked like they were having fun. Namjoon only hoped nothing would happen to either of them, they didn't need a repeat of what happened with you and him. He didn't want to watch his eldest brother go through what he did.

The dance ended and he simply stood and watched as people exchanged places, dancers leaving to sit and rest while a new flood of people took their spots. A woman in a flowing burgundy dress and delicate silver mask threw herself at the wall a few meters away from him, catching his attention. She held a hand to her chest, over her heart, and her breathing was labored.

Namjoon's mind raced with possibilities, everything from she's just been shot to this is an act, don't fall for it. He looked away, not wanting to get caught staring, but something made the back of his neck itch. There was something about her that drew him in, something that screamed trouble, something that told him she needed help.

He waited patiently for her breathing to calm down, for her form to stop shaking. It took several minutes, but soon she was merely leaning against the wall for comfort rather than support. He passed his glass off to a nearby server and carefully approached her.

"Women like you don't tend to wallflower at events like this," he said, his deep voice resonating around the strings of the quartet. She looked up at him, eyes wide in surprise. Maybe she'd been so caught up in her own thoughts, she hadn't realized he was so close to her in the first place. "Are you alright?"

A polite smile turned up the corners of her lips. "Mostly," she answered, voice still quivering just the tiniest bit. "I felt a bit too claustrophobic out there and needed a moment to compose myself." Namjoon raised an eyebrow, although she couldn't see it due to his mask. He wasn't expecting an explanation that easily, he was used to working for those things.

"I see." Namjoon turned back towards the dance floor, once again watching as people spun around. "It does look a bit squished out there." He looked at her once more. Something inside him resonated with the woman, but he couldn't understand what, or why. There was just something about her that gave him a feeling of safety, of trust.

And if that was the case, then she was dangerous.

Namjoon's natural curiosity was getting the best of him, however. He should have bid her good night and walked off, left her alone. He should have pawned her off to Jimin, this was his expertise, but the thought made his skin crawl. He didn't want her anywhere near his younger brother, much less ending up in bed with him.

He didn't understand. No woman had ever made him feel like this, not since, well, not since you. And he'd spent the past ten years wholly dedicated to you; that's why he delegated these types of things to Jimin, or Taehyung and Jin when necessary. Namjoon didn't even want the temptation of betraying you.

But something about her reminded him of you. So maybe he could indulge himself, just for a moment. Maybe he could let himself pretend it was you standing there with him, in your gorgeous dress and pretty silver mask. Maybe, for just a few minutes, Namjoon could let himself be happy instead of sad.

"If you've recovered then," he began, holding a hand out, "may I have this dance?" She looked up into his eyes, and for a moment he found his breath caught in his throat. It must have been a trick of the light, because he thought, as he looked down at her, her eyes looked just like yours.

Her voice broke him from his reverie. "Thank you, but no." Namjoon couldn't help it, his heart dropped at her words, along with his hand. "I only have one more dance in me, and it's already been claimed." Her eyes left him, instead focusing on something across the room. He followed her gaze, and felt a twinge of annoyance when it landed on Jimin. The blond wore a mask, just like the rest of them, but everyone still knew exactly who he was.

"You don't want to dance with him," Namjoon said, voice harder than he wanted. "He's nothing but trouble." But if she was looking to dance with Jimin, then there was a chance she was actually seeking out their help. And if that was the case, Namjoon knew enough of what signs to look for, what questions to ask, that he could fill in.

"What if trouble's what I'm looking for?" She asked, head tilted to the side, eyes narrowed in a way that showed she already was trouble, she didn't need to go looking for it. Namjoon smirked and held his hand out again.

"Then you've already found it." Confidence and charisma rolled off him in waves. He could be charming when he needed to be, when he needed to act less like a broken-hearted love-struck fool and more like an elegant playboy.

She bites her lip, glancing down at his outstretched hand before looking up at him once more. Light as a feather she rests her hand in his, saying only a single word. "One." One dance, she was telling him, one chance. He didn't need anything more.

Namjoon led the woman onto the floor, mindful enough to keep their distance away from most of the other dancers. He held her close, hand firm but respectful on her waist. His free hand came up to rest on his shoulder, and soon they were waltzing just as well as any seasoned dance partners.

And for a moment - just a single moment - Namjoon let himself get lost in the sensation, he let himself indulge in his little daydream. It was so easy, in the subdued light of the chandeliers above them, to picture you there with him instead of her.

You had danced with him like this once, long, long ago. It was one in the morning, and you had woken up because you were hungry. Namjoon heard Jin's voice in his head, telling you to eat more at dinner otherwise you'd wake up in the middle of the night. You hadn't listened to him, naturally, insisting that you'd be fine.

Namjoon also heard you grumbling to yourself as you dug through the fridge in the dark, trying to find something small to hold you over until the morning came. The place you two had shared was small, and not the greatest, but it was yours. He had wrapped his arms around your waist, clinging to your back and resting his chin on your shoulder.

"You should've listened to Jin," he told you playfully. You had only rolled your eyes, continuing on your quest for food. Namjoon had only smiled, and started swaying the two of you slowly, humming an unrecognizable tune. You had let out a huff.

"Joonie," you had whined, "I'm hungry." You had turned in his hold, but did nothing to try and break it, instead wrapping your arms around his neck. With the light of the fridge shining behind you, you had looked like an angel, glowing just for him, a soft smile on your face.

Namjoon hadn't responded, only smiled back. He took one of your hands in his, and began twirling you around the small space. The laugh that escaped you had been music to his ears. You had known he wasn't that graceful of a dancer, he often tripped over his own two feet in his clumsiness - but he never stepped on yours. He always made sure of that.

That night was a shining star Namjoon held onto, in the darkness that surrounded him since you'd been taken from him - and you were taken so soon after that. If he could go back, if he could do it over again, he would've held you closer, told you he loved you more. The woman he was dancing with now, she might've reminded him of you, but he still knew, deep down, she wasn't you.

"Do I know you?" she asked suddenly, pulling him from his memories. The question shocked him, and for a moment he was at a loss for words. She let the silence be still for a moment, before speaking again. "I'm sorry, you just, you remind me of someone I knew once."

Namjoon felt his face soften. "Honestly, so do you. Someone I haven't seen in a long time." Too long, his brain reminded him, his damned IQ running through all the statistics that said you were most definitely long gone at this point. Still, he would hold onto the small hope he had, until it killed him.

"She must've been lucky then, to catch someone like you." She let out a humorless chuckle. "And pretty stupid to let you go."

"I shouldn't have let her get away," Namjoon responded, his heart heavy from the honest confessions. If only he could go back, if only he could make it right.

"If only, if only," she said, like she could read his mind. Before he had a chance, the music stopped, and the crowd of dancers applauded the musicians. He marveled at how soon the dance was over, but quickly remembered he had only asked her to dance when the song was nearly half over. She began pulling away from him.

"You know, you're not half bad a dancer," she told him, lips tilted in a smirk, voice teasing. She gave him a mock curtsey, before looking around, her attention being taken somewhere else.

Namjoon bowed, knowing his time with her was up. Inside he was beating himself up. He could've gotten some info from her during that time, but instead he got lost in a fleeting moment from long ago. Now he would have to pass her off to Jimin, as much as he didn't want to. "I'm sure your other suiter is waiting for you." He gestured towards the bar, where sure enough, Jimin and Taehyung were speaking with several others.

She looked him up and down once more, then smiled, and for a small moment, Namjoon swore it looked just like one of yours. "Maybe when I’m done with him, I'll come back for you." She walked off before he could say anything else. Namjoon watched her walk away for a minute, then took his time strolling around the room, looking for another wall to lean against, another small drink to drown his overgrown sorrows in.

Several minutes later, Yoongi found and approached him, anger rolling off of him. It was unusual to see the hitman, normally collected and composed, so wound up like that. Namjoon was put on high alert immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Yoongi took a deep breath, before speaking in his same calm and quiet voice, looking Namjoon in the eyes.

_"Don't freak out." _Namjoon's eyes widened and he nearly dropped his glass, much in the same way Hoseok had, Yoongi noted. "Namjoon, I said don't freak out."

"She's here?" he asked, voice raspy. "You're sure?"

"Hoseok is talking to her right now," Yoongi answered. Namjoon's body jolted forward, you were here, he had to find you, he had to--

Yoongi placed his hand on his leader's chest, stopping him from going anywhere. "He's the best chance we have at getting answers. You know that."

Maybe Namjoon did know that, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Still, Yoongi had a point, and there wasn't anything he could do. So the two stood together, waiting for… something, though neither was sure exactly what. Then Namjoon caught a flash of red from the corner of his eye.

He turned, curious. Maybe it was the woman from before. Maybe she had finished with Jimin, and he had sent her back. Namjoon would have to pass her on to Yoongi, however; you were here and that was far more important to him right now. He wasn't expecting what he saw.

It was the woman, the same flowing burgundy dress, the same delicate silver mask. The mask was in her hands now, however, and she was following a different member of his gang towards the doors that lead to the terrace. Hoseok had a gentle hold on the small of her back, and as she glanced around the room, Namjoon felt his heart stop.

It was you. That woman, in the red dress, with the silver mask, the one who reminded him so much of you - _because it was you. _It was you he danced with, and he hadn't had a clue. How could he not have seen it?? Everything was there, those were your eyes, that was your voice, that was your smile and the way you bit your lip. Your words rang through his head, this time taking on a whole new meaning.

"Do I know you? You remind me of someone I knew once."

As he stood, as he waited, Namjoon's brain went into overdrive, overthinking and analyzing every little detail he could remember. And, somewhere in there, he also decided that masquerades were his least favorite thing in the entire world.

If you need a bit more clarification on why this wouldn’t have worked, it’s because even with the masks on, she and Namjoon would have recognized each other almost immediately. I had already established that Jungkook, Yoongi, and Jin had basically recognized her off nothing more that a simple glace or hearing her say a few words. Namjoon would’ve picked up on that in no time; and likewise she would’ve been able to tell it was him just as quickly. It would’ve made for some cute moments, and more drama at the end, but ultimately we decided to cut the dance and the masquerade idea altogether. Anyways, I’ve rambled on enough. Thank you all so much, again and again and again, for reading. Please let me know what you think, and I’ll see you on Saturday for the next chapter! Super special thank you to my (not so tiny anymore) taglist! Let me know if you want to be added and subsequently become a Cool Kid™ @illnevertrustmyselfagain @misschino @youlook-likehell @dany-but-not-targaryen @nyx-goddess-of-choas @fangirl125reader @wordsaremyswords @clowdyblue @tutnotmytea @scentedsope @hope122598 @veronawrites @ayoongiverse @myooniverse @jiminrings @milady-mira @cafemyg @lolalee24 @elyte @hyungieyoongi @lolalee24 @singukieee

#bts #bts mafia #bts mafia au #bts angst #bts fic #bts writing #bts drabble #namjoon fic #edge of tonight

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