#enver fucking raccoon man gortash

[the-tomato-patch]

Art comm from @infernaldaydreams ✨️ They did such a beautiful job capturing this scene from a Durgetash one-shot I'm working on in which Wyll, Karlach and Cardinal ( my redeemed durge ) steal/find a spacejammer and break into Banehold to rescue Gortash. It looks so good! ✨️❤️ ahhhhhhhh!

[animentality]

Thanks to @weavewithshadow I now have an audio file of Gortash calling the Dark Urge "dear Bhaalist" in that disgusting slick raspy bullshit politician voice, and I'm fucking crying and gnashing my teeth and considering murder suicide.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?????? JUST LIVE WITH THIS, KNOWING ITS IN THE GAME JUST NOT IN THE GAME????

KILL ME IN PERSON NEXT TIME, @weavewithshadow, I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

[sixtysixproblems]

welcome to my half-assed the chosen three are "good" au.

this is a lie of course, because only Ketheric is lawful good; Orin is chaotic neutral, and Gortash lawful neutral maybe lmao.

id say this is a fix it au but. no. not really. things are just marginally better for these 3 characters, and they do (less) warcrimes. but the Absolute is still a problem!

the new chosen three are Durge for Bhaal, Raphael for Bane, and uh. Isobel for Myrkul (I'll get to that).

basically, in tldr summary: adoption is a lovely thing and I blame Shar for everything. read more under the cut because this post is long.

Long version: Shar is responsible more actively for the shadow curse-- Ketheric stayed a paladin of Selune because Isobel doesn't die, but Justiciars still march on Reithwin and he is killed + Aylin imprisoned by Shar. I imagine Isobel only became a "follower" of Shar to try and make a deal to get Aylin back, but that failed, so she turned to Myrkul. Ketheric is revived by her/Myrkul, but earlier than Isobel was bc reasons.

anyways. he'd be around in act two, filling a similar but probably more active role to Isobel in the og plot. and him and Aylin save Isobel from Myrkul/convince her to stop because I'd be too sad otherwise

Now for Orin...Uh. Much more vague. Basically: Ketheric is a girl dad?

I've been toying with several ideas, but the one I think right now is Bhaal/Saverok was disappointed in Orin and abandoned her in the shadowlands instead of straight up killing her for some reason? Maybe they wanted to see what a shadow cursed bhaalspawn would be like, maybe it was a "she'll either toughen up or die so win win", idk. Anyways she's probably like. a toddler. three at max. because Bhaal is awfully. And freshly revived and confused as fuck Ketheric has a new daughter now. yay!

I think she'd be yoinked by the nauteloid, and sort of fill a joint tav/durge role.

anyways, onto the fucking slimy raccoon! it's his time to be yoinked by a stoic old man royalty-ish-guy! enter duke ravenguard from stage left!

I don't know the specifics, but Lawful Good TM Ravenguard trying to hold meetings-- that his feral tween foster child he stole from a devil keeps interrupting-- sounds really, really funny to me.

on a sadder note, Wyll's whole...situation. I imagine this would drive a very, very big wedge between Enver and the Duke because Enver would be inclined to believe Wyll because of his own history with Raphael. Also, I was stuck on what to do about Karlach if Enver wasn't evil-- maybe she still gets hired by Enver as a bodyguard, but Enver has her stay with Wyll while him and Ravenguard go to Elturel...So it's just her and Wyll vs the Cultists...And at some point in the fight she's somehow yeeted to Avernus...

and like! imagine how angsty it would be if Mizora sent Wyll after Karlach without telling him who she was! and the first time these besties see each other in 7 years is when one is sent to kill the other! fun times fun times.

anyways. as for what Gortash is up to. quite frankly I have no fucking idea. an idea i've been toying with is he's undercover in the absolute either on Ravenguard's behalf and/or for self preservation? and/or mindcontrolled by it to make the steel guard? or something like that? him & durge can have a "I cant fix this man, but I can fuck him. maybe that'll calm him down" dynamic lmfaoooo. he's probably still the most morally questionable.

Regardless of the specifics of what he's up to, he might have cameos or be communicating with Wyll somehow pre act three, but I think he only has a proper role then. And double regardless, with Raphael as the Bane chosen...I doubt he's having the time of his life. But he's a conniving little bastard. i'm sure he'll be fine.

anyways. meme time.

~-~-~-~-~

Halsin/Jaheira: what the fuck you're alive??

Ketheric: ...Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated. Anyways my daughter's kind of evil now, and not the Bhaalspawn one--

Jaheira: We left you alone for one century. One...AND YOU HAVE A BHAALSPAWN--

Halsin: I-- You're Orin's Dad????

~-~-~-~-~

Orin: wow Wyll your foster brother is really fucking annoying and also possibly evil. and also maybe fucking my evil brother. can we kill him pretty please

Wyll: can't say I haven't had thoughts myself over the time i've known him...repeatedly... but no

Orin: :(

Karlach: If it makes you feel better Orin, you may get to knock him out

Orin: :)

~-~-~-~

Wyll: Have care how y ou speak-- Gortash may be in league with the absolute, but we don't know his reasons yet-- and he's still a Ravenguard. And my brother.

Orin: He killed 80 people in two days with his evil roombas.

Wyll: ...

Wyll: he's adopted??

~-~-~-~-~

Alternatively:

Orin: Have care how you speak-- Isobel/Durge may be a follower of Myrkul/Bhaal, but she's still of House Thorm. And my sister/brother.

Jaheira: She/he killed 80 people in two days.

Orin: ....I'm adopted.

[sombersacrifice]

Thoughts on Gortash? 👀

Ohmygoodness! Enver Gortash, where do I even begin...

At first, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about him. But now 👀 I love him, call me crazy but if this man was real and I even had a small chance with him, you bet I'mma shoot my shot. He's powerful and domineering, yet there is some hidden potential for him to be a bit on the submissive side, to be compliant. I love his character design, edgy and sad emo-looking man. He's so cocksure and arrogant and I honestly love that about him.

In short, TLDR is, I'd fuck this man, pull his hair, etc etc. He's hot, in a greasy raccoon man kind of way. (Sorry if I got too carried away lmao)