#enoughmen

[foul-mouth-bitch]

"Not all men. But enough men."

WRONG!

Men are not in the wrong for defending their gender from sexism, generalizations and demonization- regardless of what the post being refuted says.

"Enough" women judge men based on their haie, attractiveness or muscle mass. That doesn't give me the right to say women are picky about men. Why? Because it's sexist. It would still be sexist if I listed every woman who has existed & ever judged men on these traits.

Women have no right demonizing and generalizing the entire male gender because of the actions of toxic men.

#NotAllMen #EnoughMen

#EnoughIsNeverEnough

#SexismIsSexism

[metricula]

I think one of the most telling things about “anger” has been asking why I shouldn’t be angry, either literally in conversation or hypothetically when I’m in the shower thinking about all the conversations I’ll never have but coming up with fire responses anyway.  

It mostly boils down to two things:

1.) “You shouldn’t be angry at me” and 2.) “It doesn’t look good/like I think it should look.”

Neither address the truth or justification of my feelings, or even the lack thereof. It absolutely centers their feelings over my experience of myself regardless of the causes. And seriously–if I’m being a huge bitch or have something wrong, then I should be called out. It’s just that for me, their reasons for why I shouldn’t be angry drip pretty shallow and mostly revolve around their discomfort, or my unwillingness to center their comfort even when it’s not directed at them.

On some level, I wonder if they’re hedging? That they’re more afraid of me now and want to make sure I’m not going to go after them. Any angry woman is threat, a possible “false accuser,” “crazy.”

Two friends–at least twice each–determined that because I directed anger toward them (regardless of their own gender) that I must be mad at “all men.” I feel like I’ve been caught in an intersection between the personal and cultural anxieties of a particular group of people who chose to deal with it by trying to control or dismiss me rather than consider having to face their own actions in the future, even as a hypothetical.

The other issue here is how much “angrier” my neutrality is received, and that has a lot to do with the way I’ve been asked to reassure people that aren’t involved in the community case that I’m not angry at them, or I won’t “turn” on them, or that they’re “one of the good ones.”

Even though I feel like what I’ve done to move my case forward–contacting the other women involved, going to the police–was right and actionable, evidenced truth, there are people that see me as more vindictive, more volatile, more of an unknown quantity no matter how transparent I’ve been. In some cases, it’s felt like they wanted more energy from me to reassure them that I don’t have it out for them or “all men”.

It made me think about how men/masc people have to put effort into remembering gender contexts, male privilege, that lots of people are afraid of male-bodied people because it’s #NotAllMen but #EnoughMen. And like, it’s not the same because there are other gender dynamics at play here but I’m not trying to be scary and I try to keep that context in mind.

That said, I think some people have a skewed view of what “scary” from me and other people post #MeToo is right now, and want them to ask why.

[sillyfishrubberducky]

Rape doesn't need a fucking weapon to be rape

Yah fuck this I have been raped 4 fucking times I don't care to say not all guys anymore because it's fucking enough to make me fear all men. None of them were with a knife or gun. One was he didn't wear a condom (my only condition) and refused to stop before cumming inside of me (4 minutes of screaming stop get off this isn't what I want stop. One I straight up said no anal so he asked for a different position (doggy) I obliged he shoved his 11inch dick straight in my ass no warning no lube no slow just went to town and shoved my face in a pillow so he didn't have to hear me scream and cry. Number 3 and 4 were boyfriends. 3 decided he wanted to fuck me didn't ask knew I wouldn't when we were visiting his grandparents talked to me about finding something in the back room went back with him he grabbed my throats and lifted my ankle skirt I couldn't breathe couldn't fight couldn't scream as he fucked me too. 4 is one that took me a bit to even realize it was rape. I would wake up to him on top of me getting ready to fuck me or starting too (I was a really hard sleeper as I have a big family and shared rooms and beds growing up we kick and punch and sleep through it) and he would say he just woke up too and in confusion I thought maybe we were starting in our sleep. It took 2 months to figure out he was just waiting for me to fall asleep because I didn't want sex anymore (we broke up but I was giving him time to find a new place) I figured it out because I was having a problem sleeping so I hadn't passed out yet and he started touching me to see if I was awake to see how far he could get. He then had the audacity to call me a bitch for making a big deal out of nothing. He was a good guy even my parents fucking liked him. I told my mom about guy number 1 she told me I shouldn't have put myself in that position that it was my fault. So guess who lost all trust in talking to mom about problems guess who blamed herself for years for all of this and never went to the cops. People ask why we don't come forward or press charges. Victim blaming pure and fucking simple.

[womenemanatepower-blog]

Sometimes men ask me why I am polite to men who are bothering me instead of just telling them to leave me alone. The answer is this: rejecting unwanted advances is not as simple as it seems. If I don't know the person, how can I know how they will react to my rejection? I have been cursed at, followed, physically threatened, and more because I told a man to leave me alone. Being polite is an attempt to prevent worse things from happening. Once I gave a man a weird look because he ruffled my friend's hair at a bar. I didn't say anything but he took it upon himself to come over to me, verbally abuse me, threaten me, tell me he is a nice guy, followed me to my car, continued to yell at me as his friend is trying to drag him away and say "he really is a nice guy." If he had been a nice guy, his friend wouldn't have had to say so as he was physically restraining him from getting to me. Being nice is a preservation tactic. We aren't trying to encourage men by being nice, we're trying to get away without something worse happening. #unwanted #advances #unwantedadvances #nice #niceguys #socalledniceguys #notallmen #enoughmen #sayingnocanbedangerous #danger #dangerous #protection #selfprotection #selfpreservation #cursedat #verbalabuse #followed #threatened #leavemealone #leavewomenalone #strangers #protectwomen #protecteachother #ifyouseesomething #saysomething #intervene #women #femalepower #feminism #feminist

[punkfandomtrashprincess]

omg i just saw this post about the not all men phenomenon and the caption was talking about how it was enough men to make girls terrified of this and that so can we start a petition to start using #enoughmen when talking about feminism, rape culture, and to combat meninists/#notallmen? please?