#enough MY GOD INNEED HIM SO BAD

[strawberrystepmom]

He gives off a very intense vibe when you get him riled. That downward tilt of his head, eyes locked on you, fists curled. And while he’s not type to ‘punish’ your behavior, he will care less about making you comfortable. Skirt tugged down just enough, bent over the bed, hair curled in his fists, a harsh “This is what you were begging for, right?”

Your mumbled reply answered with a thrust so hard and deep you feel it in your throat.

“Say it” and even when you do, even when you’re crying your apologies while you cum again, he just tenderly brushes the hair plastered to your face and starts rocking the bed again.

[sisterssafespace]

Dear sister,

We are looking for a suitable match for my elder sister. We've had a horrible incidence earlier ending with calling off the wedding last year. My parents started the search again. We've met more than 15 families until now, not bragging but none of them rejected my sister. Our utmost priority is a deeni family, for instance if the family faces any kind of crisis they would resort it with Islamic solution and not just lose hope on Allah.

So we met a family yesterday, we had lunch together. Considering just for this dunya, the family was very simple, friendly, social kind of people, they like to explore new culture and easily get along with people different religion and they have grown up in a diverse culture, which is very different in our case we are not very conservative family but tries to follow as much sunnah as possible. Me and my sister now more focused towards our Akhirah and it is like if anything happens, we need someone to keep reminding us of Allah not just take us for shopping or car drive. We are quiet sensitive kind of girls, especially my sister after she has gone through an abusive engagement, she is a little paranoid.

And as far as my parents our concerned, even they are not very satisfied but they fear if we keep rejecting like this we won't be able to find a good match after a certain age, as my sister has turned 28. And it is quite difficult to get good options after certain age in India. They are trying to speak to our relatives to get more clarity to which my relatives who we can absolutely rely on says, maybe my sister might become the means of guidance to their path of Islam.

The boy says he is very flexible with everything, he doesn't have a problem with my sister taking hijab. He is not very regular with Salah though he tries, he said(only Allah knows the truth)

His mother(who absolutely loved my sister) has quite a liberal thinking, she kept saying we have to keep our duniya going along with deen, which in a way is correct but keeping dunya on a back foot and deen on a front foot is how we try function. She even forcefully got their numbers exchanged by the end of lunch. Although the boy was sensible enough and knew it won't be appropriate, so he just gave his number and asked to text him only if my sister feels comfortable.

My only concern is kids follows their parents path, for instance my mother has to taught us to give Sadqah every single day and I don't know if they follow such basic things. I know I shouldn't be too quick in judging but I feel they lack basic essence of Islam. I mean is the boy getting married for the sake of marriage or does he realizes the importance of this Sunnah.

Salam sweet one,

I could feel the worry and the concern in your words, Allahuma barik you sound very very attached to your deen and you sound ( as you sister ) like you have got your priorities in the right order, Allahuma barik lakunna ✨

Hmm, where to start? I will re-use the hadith of our Prophet ﷺ about the most suitable man to marry:

The Messenger of Allah said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."

So character and deen (which are two sides of the same coin) are extremely important, which means that valuing and giving so much importance to the deen is your right, you are not crazy, you are not delusional (like what this modern day society would consider, AstaghfiruAllah). I can relate because I come from a very liberal society that considers Islam in 5 words: Faith is in the heart (an internal matter). 🤦🏽‍♀️ So I do understand your dilemma. Allahu al mustaān. However, the common and basic solution to this is to pray Istikhara? I hope your sister is already doing that, she should pray it often and not just once and pray that Allah swt guides her to the right decision. I know it has been a systematic answer to any marriage-related question or issues but because that's the way the sunnah teaches us. When confused or in need to make a decision, we have to ask Allah swt to choose for us or guide us to the right choice, and shield us from the choice that is bad and harmful for us, our duniya, and our deen.

Maybe I have spoken more generally, but, I have two specific remarks: I don't think you need me to mention how compulsory and important prayer (on time) is, some scholars go to even condemn the person who doesn't pray a non-Muslim, so if your sister values prayer and can't see herself marrying a guy who is not committed to his prayer then it is her absolute right, if it is a deal breaker for her, to say no to this guy. She should have her boundaries clear.

My second remark is also related to sth you spoke about, how kids tend to follow the footsteps of their parents, well, in the same way, the wife often tends to be influenced by her husband. In my real life I have known a lot of cases where the girl would be more religious than her partner and after marriage, she changes (to please him or being fully convinced, Allahu aālam), and it goes both ways, if the husband is more religious, eventually, she will be influenced by him as well. And even in the best case scenario, where he won't influence her to change and loosen her principals and be more flexible, if she still held on tightly to her deen, marital problems will eventually stem between them, from her built up frustration towards him, or disappointment, or displeasure, or dissatisfaction or whatnot, la qaddar Allah (God forbid). I am not trying to deepen your concern nor your sister's paranoia, I am just trying to make you consider all scenarios. But at the end of the day, it's Allah's will and plan that work. Allah swt says be and it is. If He swt has planned that this is the perfect fit for your sister and that she will be the reason for his guidance and his commitment to his deen, then that's what's going to happen. Nothing is impossible for Allah swt.

Nevertheless, there is this famous saying in Law :

ما بُني على باطل فهو باطل

What is built on falsehood is false.

I want you to tell your sister to make sure that she won't marry this guy or anyone else FOR THE WRONG REASONS, be it her age (rolling my eyes, 28 is fine!!!!!!!), The parental pressure, someone's financial status, etc etc.. The day she decides to marry someone, it should be for the right reasons and she should be clear on her understanding of marriage and on her goals, expectations, plans, everything. We tend to rush into marriage because that's what people do and because everyone around us is getting married. A lot of people get married, that's correct, but only few of them understand the meaning of a partnership, a companionship in the path of Allah swt, a wordly journey towards Jannah with someone you share a life with, responsibilities with, kids with, heartbreaks with, losses with, deaths of loved ones with, sicknesses and struggles and calamities with, etc. You really have to carefully choose the person who is up for that! If you were going on a road trip, somewhere far far away, and you knew it would get uncomfortable and scary, you knew the trip will be very challenging, and you were allowed to take only one person with you, wouldn't you want to carefully choose that person? What would be the criteria to choose? Think about it.. Do you see my point? May Allah swt make it easy for All of us.

Finally, I pray your sister finds her peace and makes the right choice. Tell her to listen to her gut. Oftentimes, in these matters of marriage, when you know you know, if she felt at peace around him, then probably there's something there worth pursuing, in spite of everything. And may Allah swt ease all her affairs and yours, and grant you both the righteous spouse that knows your worth and puts his Deen first. And tell her not to worry about the age and whatnot, a spouse is a risq from Allah swt Ar-Razzaq, and He will grant her her risq when the right time comes. In shaa Allah.

To conclude, I will leave you with this beautiful duaa that Musa (as) said, and then Allah swt rewarded him with a righteous spouse:

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنْزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

rabbi innee lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeerun

'O my Lord, surely I have need of whatever good You send me.'

- A. Z. 🍃