#enjoying the last of summer🌻

[nordsea-horizons]

casual summer update for my nordsea dream address⛱️ all the flowers are in bloom and i did some small changes here and there💛 can’t believe its already late august!☀️

[mewcrossing]

enjoying the last days of summer 🌻🍑

[solargrove]

the woodley family enjoying the last few nights of summer 🌻

[otomiyaa]

Lucifer, Solomon, Barbatos x Reader

Romantic + 06. “Could you… do that to me?” + 13. “That’s… quite an attitude for someone in your position.” Requested by @hakurei-k for my 1K Followers Event🌻

Word Count: 1.7K (I normally don't count words for drabbles but I felt this got a bit longer than average and boi I was right)

Barbatos was winning. You could see the confident look in his eyes, even though his act was still kind and humble as ever.

"Are you discouraged? No need. Don't worry, you still have a chance to win this."

It was just a one-on-one lucky dice game. No skill needed, no experience. Only luck, making it a fair game for anyone: demons, angels and yourself, a human.

You played it sometimes with Barbatos, and also with Lucifer and Solomon. The four of you were on a summer trip to the human world where you liked to show them some of the places where you would hang out in the past.

However the weather was so awfully hot that it was hard to move outside, or enjoy the nice places you wanted to show them, so you didn't mind to spend some more time in your hotel room instead, which included the lucky dice game a lot.

And to keep it more interesting after multiple wins and losses, Barbatos came up with this little rule for the two of you:

"The loser will get tickled by Lucifer."

"Do I get a say in this?" was Lucifer's dry remark. He was not playing the game with you, but he sat in a corner of the spacious hotel suite, reading a book.

In the end Lucifer didn't refuse and wasn't against the little penalty, if that would make your game with Barbatos even more exciting.

But the more lucky rolls the smug demon butler had, the more nervous you got. He was winning, and the thought of Lucifer tickling you right now... You blushed. It would be killing! Barbatos getting tickled however? Thanks to his own suggestion? Now that was the entertainment you were looking for.

You glanced at Solomon who was relaxing on his bed, with an electric fan right by his side to keep him cool, even though the air conditioning in the room was more than okay.

There was a way to still win this game, and even though it was a sneaky and nasty one, you felt like it was worth the try.

"My turn?" you asked, and you grabbed the dice. Then with your elbow you not-so-accidentally bumped your glass full of cold soda all over yourself. A sweet and refreshing sacrifice you were willing to make.

"Oh no," Barbatos said dryly, but you already jumped up.

"Eeeek, how clumsy of me! Don't worry! I'll get it off! Solomon, come help me!" Before Solomon could even protest, you ran towards him, yanked him off his bed by grabbing his arm, and dragged him into the bathroom with you. Just in case, you closed the door.

"That happens," you heard Lucifer say. Pffft. Spilling a drink, of course it can happen to anyone. Except you, if it wasn't with a reason.

"I'll help you, calm down," Solomon said when you pinned him against the wall. But you stared at him intensely.

"Solomon," you mumbled, keeping your voice down so the others wouldn't hear.

"Please.. Could you… do that to me?" you asked. Now that the moment was here, you were shy to state the literal words.

"...What?" Solomon seemed confused by how intense you were, so you were forced to explain it.

"Make me uh, luckier?"

"I'm already making you lucky, aren't I?" Oh the sass. Stupid Solomon.

"Solomon!" you whined. "S-P-E-L-L. The lucky spell! Please, I need it."

"Oh, that. Hm... Last time you said it didn't work though?" Solomon frowned.

"Forget what I said, it could work now. Put the spell on me, I need to win this. You want Barbatos to get tickled too, right? Especially by Lucifer. It's free entertainment for us if I win this game, not to mention it's Barbatos' very own idea. I have to win."

"So, you'll cheat?" You weren't proud to see Solomon so smug about it.

"W-whatever! And like you said, it may not work. I know you're still working on that spell. But we can try at least, right?"

Solomon's lucky spell was something he had tried on you a few times, without Lucifer and Barbatos knowing since you knew they wouldn't approve of magical experiments on you, even though this was quite an innocent one.

"Hmm, we can try indeed," Solomon agreed.

"Try what?"

Oh no. You looked back to see the door open again. Barbatos was standing there, and even Lucifer had gotten up to check on you.

"Is the soda off yet?" he said, but you could hear he was sarcastic. You blushed and looked at Solomon, then at them again.

"N-nothing! I mean, try uh, try to clean my clothes? The soda is still here," you said, rubbing at the sticky spot on your shirt.

"Try what, Solomon?" Barbatos asked Solomon, ignoring your silly excuse.

"Try my lucky spell, to win the game," Solomon said. WHAT! You looked at him in shock. Betrayal! He merely smiled at you.

"You know I can't lie, not when Lucifer is here too."

Coward! You looked at Lucifer and Barbatos and tried to explain.

"No! He means, not a spell b-but like the eh magic word of motivation and- eek!" You stood with your back against Solomon when Barbatos and Lucifer walked into the bathroom. Although quite spacious and luxurious, this room was suddenly very... cramped, and crowded.

"Were you trying to win, by cheating?" Barbatos asked calmly.

"No! Really I wasn't!"

"Lucky spell? Has Solomon been practicing magic on you, in secret?" Lucifer asked.

"No! Not in secret- I mean, not at all! Solomon, tell them it's not true!"

To your surprise, Solomon who still stood behind you, grabbed both your shoulders and held you tightly against him, pulling you back slightly. He said with his mouth very close to your ear:

"Still trying to lie your way out of this? That’s… quite an attitude for someone in your position."

Three against one, nooo!

"I really wah-Ahahaha! Lucifeheher no plehehease!" you cried when Lucifer and Barbatos finally closed you in, and Lucifer was the first to start tickling you.

"Since cheating counts as losing, this punishment is for you," he said, sounding very vengeful while attacking your tummy. He must be so disappointed in you for experimenting with magic behind his back.

"Nonono I dihihidn't cheheheat- ahahah!"

"You attempted to, so Lucifer is right," Barbatos said. He only needed one hand to grab both of yours, and you yelped when he used his free hand to start tickling your side and ribs.

"No this ihihisn't fahahair! Aahahah!" you howled. "Solomohohon hehehelp!"

You squirmed against him, but instead of helping you, Solomon joined in by sneaking his fingers under your arms where he started to tickle your armpits mercilessly.

"Cheating indeed isn't fair, so I agree with this punishment." That Solomon! You could swear he wouldn't have minded putting that spell on you if you weren't caught, but here he was, conveniently choosing Barbatos and Lucifer's side.

"Plehehease- hehehe nohohot thehehehere!"

"Not where?" Barbatos asked. Fair. They were all tickling a different spot, and you weren't even sure who this was aimed at. It all tickled so bad.

"E-everywhehehere hahaha!"

"I am confused," Solomon joked, and you jolted when he dug his fingers into the centers of your armpits. The sneaky sorcerer was tickling you and holding you steady at the same time, making sure you wouldn't sink through your knees and slip out of their grasp.

Not that you saw any chance to escape. It was a tickle punishment you were going to endure for as long as they pleased.

"This shirt is all dirty," Lucifer said, picking up your sticky soda shirt and pulling it up slightly. When he tickled your bare tummy, with his fingers scribbling around your belly button, you threw your head back and shrieked.

"Noooohohoo ahahaha!" Normally Lucifer would wear gloves, and whenever he tickled you while wearing them, well yes, it tickled indeed. But since it was so hot and you were relaxing in the hotel anyway, he wasn't wearing them, and you could swear that with his bare hands, his tickles felt twice as ticklish.

Meanwhile Barbatos clawed at your ribs with terrifying determination, while keeping a serious face. And none of them seemed to mind that your hysterical laughter was extra loud with a special echo effect, since you were still in the bathroom!

"Need some help there?" Solomon said, moving your shirt up even further so Barbatos' fingers started to get access to your bare ribs.

"We're fine, but thank you," Barbatos said politely.

"Plehehease I'm sohohorry!" you yelled through hysterical giggles.

"Why apologize?" Solomon asked. He was so mean!

"I'm sohohorry I t-tried to cheheheat!"

"So you admit it, good. What else?" Lucifer said, glaring at you while not even slowing down his tickle attack on you.

"I'm sohohorry for lehehetting S-Solo-ahahaha whahaait!" It was hard to apologize properly while getting tickled like this.

"Keep talking," Barbatos said. They were not making it easy!

"I'm s-sorry fohohor hehehe, ehexperimenting mahahagic!" Better, shorter. And they seemed to accept it. It was a weird experience to feel the tickling stop so suddenly as they all stopped at the same time, yet it was as if your laughter was still echoing through the bathroom.

"Apology accepted," Lucifer said.

Barbatos finally smiled again and pinched your cheek fondly. "Me too," he said.

Solomon finally released you as well and you stumbled forward, right into Barbatos' arms. You enjoyed the feeling of his comforting embrace while he caressed your hair.

"We were a little hard on you, I apologize too," he admitted, giving you the aftercare you really deserved after going through that intense tickle punishment. You giggled and leaned against him. Lucifer also caressed your back, helping you relax. He then turned to Solomon.

"So, next up is Solomon," he announced. Solomon jumped.

"Eh? I didn't lose any game," he argued.

"You didn't. But you also secretly experimented with magic, on our human," Lucifer said, making you blush like you always did whenever they would call you theirs.

"It was just a harmless trick!" Solomon chirped, but even though you were too tired and Barbatos didn't join in either, it was still a delight to see Lucifer release that lovely tickle wrath on the ticklish sorcerer. You knew Lucifer alone could be just as bad as the three of them together, and it became clear as soon as Solomon's desperate pleas were heard.

"Pleehhease ahaha hehehelp mehehe!" he whined, but you merely smirked and watched him get what he deserved.

"Get him, Lucifer," you encouraged, and you happily indulged yourself in Solomon's sweet melodious laughter.

[pugh-bug]

A summerhouse au!, where both art and readers family's rent or own the same house (or diff- cause honestly they can) and get together every year just for them to bond over (that's the only time they physically see each other)

Imagine unlimited piggybacks wherever and whenever you want- even to the shortest of distance

Honestly just melts my heart thinking about it🫠😍

-🍃

Peachy Promises

Art Donaldson x reader

I’m sorry this is later than I wanted but I loved your request and may have got carried away with it! I hope you enjoy this summerhouse fic 🌻🫶🏻

——————————————————————

Gentle tapping of leaves against the car window woke you from your nap. Your Mum was driving the poor car a little too close to the bushes that lined the twisted paths to the Summerhouse. It had been a family tradition since you were thirteen - or twelve you couldn’t remember - to go there every July and stay for a month.

‘Excited to see Art again honey?’

The Donaldson’s officially owned the property and had for generations and their son, Art, had been your favourite aspect of Summer for years. You only saw him once a year.

‘Yeah,’ you mumbled, face cramped in-between your flat pillow and the car window. The gentle thunk of hedgerow branches hitting the car would have sent you back to sleep if you weren’t so elated to see Art again. When the two of you first met all those years before he’d mistaken you for his friend Alice and asked for you.

‘Alice? Come here, I need to show you this!’

You looked at the short, freckled blonde before you and took in his confused expression with curiosity and glee.

‘You’re not Alice…’ you were indeed not Alice but you did intrigue the boy. His parents were strict about girls - too strict. The gender had become almost entirely fantastical to him, except for Alice who was more like a sister or an annoying cousin than anything else.

‘Go on. Show me what you wanted to show her.’

The boy lead you to the gardens beyond the Summerhouse your parents were so diligently unpacking in. It was beautiful, full of sunflowers and violets but the most incredible sight was the marble statue that depicted two kissing mermaids. It was no shorter than 8 feet tall and towered over the two of you, with you being almost a foot shorter than the strange boy.

‘So pretty…’ you sighed, taking in the sight whilst the boy took in you. After a moment he outstretched his hand ‘Hey, I’m Art.’

The car incessantly moaned for more fuel until you reached the car park and stopped. No one announced ‘We’re here’ because the three of you all knew. You wiped the sleep from your eyes and reached for your beaten up suitcase, the same one you’d used all of those years ago, and looked for Art. Just like the last year and the year before that and the year before that, Art was waiting impatiently by the peach tree. It never stopped growing, in fact it had grown so unruly and proud that it obstructed the Summerhouse mailbox entirely. The fresh scent was worth it.

‘Y/N!’ Art grinned as you left the car, dropping your case as you ran towards each other. Your parents knew the drill. It was the same every Summer. ‘I’ve missed you so much.’ He mumbled into your shoulder, as your parents retreated to their wing of the house. You inhaled Art’s shampoo as his soft curls tickled your cheek, he always smelt of pure Summer in a bottle. It was a hot day.

‘I’ve missed you too!’ Before you could get your case Art was grabbing you, pulling you onto his back. ‘Come on, I’ll carry you.’ Piggybacks were also apart of the yearly drill. You’d both expected him to stop years ago but he never did, Art revelled in carrying you around. It made him feel childish and gleeful, like the two of you had been at 12 - like he hoped the two of you could still be around each other.

Art carried you to your room, which had in the last three years been changed to the one next to his own, and set you down by the bed. The waft of air-con cooled your warm skin. ‘You gonna unpack?’ He gestured to your bulging suitcase but you shook your head. ‘Nah, can we do something fun? I’ve had the shittiest week.’

The Summerhouse visits had began to bring you and your parents closer but ironically, and this was entirely the blondes fault, you never spent less time together than those months. July had become a time for your parents to ‘focus on their marriage’ (whatever that means) and for you to see your best friend.

‘Wanna go swimming?’

Your eyes brightened at the suggestion, you loved swimming more than anything and the heat was palpable. ‘Your parents fixed the pool?’ Art simply nodded, while you frantically looked for the bathing suit you hoped you’d packed. You had. Forever the gentleman, Art left you alone to get dressed but the second you were back he was piggybacking you to the pool outside.

‘Cannon ball or graceful dive?’ You asked, doing your best Olympic swimmer stance. Art tried not to stare too hard at you in your red swimsuit, tried not to think too hard about how much older the two of you were but what his parents had said about your friendship being ‘too important to ruin’. He replied ‘Graceful dive.’

As the cool water enveloped your streamline body, you smiled. The oppressive heat couldn’t reach your sanctuary in the Donaldson pool, god it felt good to be back. Art jumped in after you, taking off his shirt before performing his own graceful dive. ‘Few years ago you’d have said cannon ball.’ You squeezed the excess water out of your nose to punctuate your sentence, feeling the water in your hair drip down your neck. ‘You’ve grown up.’ Art watched the droplets - fascinated for a moment before he frowned at your beaming face. He didn’t want to grow up. Art looked around, taking in the idyllic views: the freshly mowed grass, poppies and ivy coated red brick. ‘My parents are selling this place.’

Your smile dropped.

‘You’re not serious? Why?’

‘I’m going Stanford in September. They only kept this place for me.’

‘You weren’t gonna come back for Summer?’

‘Will you?’

That stung but he was right, in fact you’d been considering going as far as Boston University. Suddenly the water didn’t feel refreshing and the sky didn’t appear so blue.

‘You’ll come back right?’ Art asked, watching you shove your bags into your parents car. ‘Of course,’ You grinned. ‘My parents love it here- I love it here. Might even become a regular thing.’

The boy lit up at that, pulling you into a tight hug. He was the first boy to properly hug you. ‘I’ll be here.’ Was all he said.

‘I’m proud of you Art,’ you smiled weakly, brushing his wet hair off of his forehead as the two of you bobbed in the water. He looked his age, Art had never looked his age. ‘Stanford. It’ll be amazing.’ You meant it, he’d always been an excellent tennis player. He’d thrashed you in too many matches to count, you thought your defeats were some of his favourite moments. Tennis had always been his biggest love. There was no doubt in your mind that he’d be somebody one day, somebody worth telling your friends you knew. ‘I know Art Donaldson.’ Well…you knew Art Donaldson.

He didn’t fail to notice the defeat in your eyes, although your belief in him had always given him hope so your words were everything. Your fingers hesitated to leave his soft skin. ‘Y/N,’ you traced his features with your eyes. Remembering. ‘I need to tell you something and I - I think you might already know.’

‘I know.’

Blush coated his cheeks as Art waited with an intense stare for your next move. He didn’t know what would hurt him more, to have you for a Summer and never again or to have never had you at all.

Before he could speak your hands were cradling his face and pulling his lips to yours. He tasted like peaches. Neither of you said a word as Art’s hands ran down your waist, trying to get closer to you through the drenched swimsuit while he hummed into your kiss. You couldn’t quite explain it but you felt the mermaid statue was watching over the two of you, it too knowing that you’d always miss the boy who gifted you those Summers.

Masterlist

[vettelsdarling]

hi i love your instagram aus!!!

i was wondering if you could do an instagram au private relationship between charles x singer! reader (face claim blackpink rose) on their summer break but they get caught by fans and paparazzi?

𝐅𝐨𝐫 ���𝐨𝐮

Lissie note… Really great idea!!! Love it! I’m not too into k-pop, so please excuse me if anything seems wrong with the pictures in terms of timeline stuff. Thank you, and I’m glad you enjoy the aus<3

Things to note:

I’m into rock/indie, so I don’t know much about the K-pop industry. Please don’t come for me :)

Reader is an up-and-coming but popular K-Popstar.

Reader and Charles have been dating since the beginning of the season (set in 2023)

Races are NOT in order

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Singer!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Slight cursing?

Playlist recommendations: 𝐂𝐋𝟏𝟔, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟💗

Taglist: @drugged-kitkat, @allwaysallyway

yourusername

Liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe, francisca.cgomes and 5,488,926 others

yourusername Merci, Paris🌻💛

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user1 OHMOFMFNS HERRRR❤️❤️❤️

user2 Felt😩🙏

user3 Are you coming to the UK soon?🥰

user4 MOTHER❤️

user5 ILYSM PLSSS😭❤️

user6 So so so gorgeousss💕

user7 She’s so couquette but sophisticated and I love it

user8 AHHHH agreed❤️

user9 Please come to the US soon🤍🤍

user10 She’s been there before

user11 Yeah, I saw her last year🥰

user9 Aw no… I missed it.

yourusername

Liked by lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, pierregasly and 4,827,293 others

yourusername Thanks for another great time @ voguemagazine

Tagged: voguemagazine

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user1 How can anyone be THIS gorgeous.

user2 Exactly. How do people actually have the nerve to call her a gold digger…

user3 Wait what???

user4 People did WHAT?!

user1 ummm wtf?

user5 @ user2 is right. Fans of this boy group keep bashing her because they were seen together at a literal K-pop event…

user6 Doesn’t it make sense for her to be at the same expo though…💀 like she didn’t come for that one guy. She came for us…😭😭😭

user5 literally

user7 idk what all this drama in the comments is, but you’re so pretty���️

user8 Vogue better feature her again😩🤍

user9 Did anyone see her interview with cosmo? She’s literally so polite and cute🥰

user10 I SAW IT🫶

user11 I don’t believe all the rumours that she’s dating some random boy group guy… she’s clearly ours.

user12 Agreed🙏

user13 I can’t wait for her to go on Jimmy Fallon🥳

user14 It’s actually gonna be so fun

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 648,272 others

charles_leclerc It’s race week again❤️🤍

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user1 Let’s goooo #tifosi❤️🤍

user2 Please no Monaco curse again😭😭😭

user3 It won’t happen this year❤️

user4 I’m a max fan but I actually hope Leclerc wins this one

user5 same

user6 ANY K-POP FANS HERE???

user7 I thought I was the only one who noticed

user8 Guys it’s so clearly just her following him cause he’s famous or whatever. Besides, he has a lot of followers who are in the K-pop industry lol

user9 @ user8 has a point lmao

user10 yeah, @ otherkpopuser also follows him. You guys gotta calm down💀

user11 Home race let’s gooo❤️

yourusername

Liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, lilymhe and 4,384,256 others

yourusername Break👒🧸

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francisca.cgomes Gorgeous🤍

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

user1 Okay so nobody is going to question why an f1 wag is in the comments…

user2 because it’s not that deep

user3 The break she deserves❤️❤️❤️ HAVE FUN🥰

user4 I can’t wait for more summer posts from her🥳

user5 I loved your set in Paris❤️ Please come back soon🫶

user6 Come to Spain pleaseeeee🙏

user7 Oooo where is this???

user8 I think she said on her story that she was in Monaco

user9 Ugh I would love to go there just to see her😭❤️

user10 Monaco is so great😩 I wanna go

user11 This is the break she deserves after her hard work❤️

user12 I thought she’d maybe go back to Korea for a little over break

user13 It’s her own choice… she doesn’t have to

user14 Sooo pretty

user15 I desperately NEED her to come to Australia😭😭😭

sportsgoscentral

3,729 likes

sportsgoscentral Famous Ferrari driver, Charles Leclerc, was caught with a girl this week… who might that be👀

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user1 Wait WHAT🧍‍♀️

user2 idk… that could literally be anyone. It doesn’t look like Charles…

user3 It’s definitely him. Look at his hair.

user4 I’m slowly waving goodbye to my parasocial relationship😭

user5 STOPPP WHAT IS THIS

user6 Aw that’s cute🥰 Wish we knew who it was though!!

user7 wait… isn’t that… @ yourusername

user8 who?

user7 pretty famous K-pop idol

user8 Ohhh, she’s really pretty though

user9 so all blonde girls are suddenly her?

user7 no, I’m just saying it seems like her bc she’s in Monaco rn

user10 Whoever she is, she’s so lucky ughhh

user11 For real

user12 What happened to giving people personal space😃

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername and 366,282 others

charles_leclerc Next stop: Japan✈️🇯🇵

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user1 such a random vacation spot but I dig it

user2 I bet Yuki is his tour guide

user3 that’d be funny

user4 Wait what’s in Japan?

user5 Idk, he’s just on break somewhere new ig?

user6 Can’t wait for a Japan photo dump🥰

user7 Not everyone thinking he’s going cause of @ yourusername 😭😭😭

user8 OMGGGG I FORGOT SHE’S BACK FROM HER BREAK AND IN JAPAN RNNN

user9 I am flabbergasted

user10 guys it’s a coincidence chill pls

user11 idk… doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me👀

yourusername

Liked by francisca.cgomes, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 6,028,379 others

yourusername Thank you so much for all the chants! I love you all in Japan❤️ Can’t wait to come again🧸

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francisca.cgomes Loved it❤️ Will go to your next🫶

yourusername Can’t wait to see you again🥰❤️

user1 MOTHER😩❤️

user2 SHE ONLY RESTED FOR 2 WEEKS AND IS ALREADY BACK😭😭😭

user3 She’s so amazing🤍 I love her so much😭

user4 I LOVED THE SHOWWW COME BACK SOON~

user5 She’s so mother😩🙏

user6 ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS🥰

user7 I literally love everything abt her

user8 Where’s she going next?

user9 The US I think?

user10 Wait what???

user11 No she isn’t. That’s next month.

user12 Yeah, she’s going to Korea next and then the US

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, pierregasly and 1,292,358 others

charles_leclerc Japan was amazing❤️🇯🇵

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user1 A GIRL A GIRL A GIRL

user2 OMG THE SECOND PIC

user3 CHARLES WHO IS THATTTT

user4 New wag alert?

user5 Every K-pop fan KNOWS that the rumours are true and that’s @ yourusername

user6 New fav wag🥰

user7 I need to see them togetherrrr

user8 Omg that’s her?! She is BEAUTIFUL😩

user9 She’s literally my fav<3

user8 I’m gonna start listening to her

user9 If he’s going to the states next, it’s definitely @ yourusername

user10 It’s so convenient though, because he has the Miami gp next month🥳

user11 Isn’t she going to NYC though???

user12 Yeah she is

wagsf1

20,378 likes

wagsf1 @ yourusername in the paddock today in Miami✨

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user1 IT’S OFFICIAL🥰

user2 She is SO PRETTY AND CUTEEEE

user3 Her and Charles make the cutest couple on the grid by a HUMONGOUS margin.

user4 Literally

user5 Wait… but wasn’t she spotted in Formula 2???!

user6 Leclerc watches Arthur and she probably tagged along

user5 Oh yeah that makes sense

user7 I can’t believe she’s juggling her career and supporting Charles at the same time😭 What a gem🤍

user8 He literally hit the jackpot with this one

user9 I’m so jealous of him but also jealous of her😭😭😭

user10 You’re literally so real for that

yourusername

Liked by charles_leclerc,francisca.cgomes, carmenmmundt and 6,387,289 others

yourusername Since the secret is out…🤍

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charles_leclerc ❤️

Liked by yourusername

francisca.cgomes You guysss🫶

Liked by yourusername

user1 ARE YOU FOR REAL????

user2 Wait the rumours are true?!!!😭😭

user3 We lost her💔

user4 This is pain.

user5 Can’t you just be happy for her?

user6 It’s not that deep and she doesn’t know you exist💀

user7 If my future relationship isn’t like theirs… I don’t want it..

user8 IKR😩 Look at those shadow picssss

user9 Okay but when is she actually revealing him?

user10 We literally know it’s Charles💀 He even commented😭😭😭

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 738,839 others

charles_leclerc It’s official. She’s a procrastinator…

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yourusername I’m not…

charles_leclerc Did you pack for Italy yet? We leave tomorrow.

yourusername …

Liked by charles_leclerc

pierregasly Get in there mate!

Liked by charles_leclerc

user1 I love their banter already😩

user2 They’re so cute what😭❤️

user3 She looks like a literal angel

user4 My fav singer and my fav driver… dating?! This is an actual dream come true wtaf

user5 People who oppose this will have to go through me first

user6 Nobody will be dense enough💀

user7 Nah I just know someone will be pressed about this

user8 Agreed lmao💀

user6 I mean ig😭💀

user9 I can’t wait to see all of her paddock outfits!!!

user10 Same! She's already so stylish, I bet she’s gonna go all in!!!

user11 I can’t wait to see Charles at her concerts lol

user12 Somehow I can actually imagine it

user13 My fav couple❤️

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩! (𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙣, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙙𝙢𝙨, 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙨: 𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧(𝙨) 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚(𝙨) 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣.)

[fastcardotmp3]

🌻august bookshelf🌻

july recs | recs tag

I really enjoyed putting together a little fic rec list at the end of last month and decided to do it again!

🌻driving in your car by @kkpwnall - when I say the ultimate pining Steddie fic I MEAN IT. the use of the car as this sort of central, grounding force within Steve's world and the way the testing of his tether to Hawkins and the people in it plays out here is stunning, not to mention the HANDS and the ronance going on stage left and the complete and utter tenderness lying just beneath the surface. perfection I am swallowing it whole

🌻clueless by @gothbat99 - such a lovely short & sweet slice of life in the summer after they win the war, it feels SO important in its simplicity that Nancy and Robin are getting to behave like young people, all free and hopeful and discovering how to want/ be wanted. made my heart so big and warm in only 1k words like THAT !!! is so impressive, so worth your time, will make your day better guaranteed

🌻Faces Freedom with a Little Fear by @fragilecapric0rnn - literally Steve family-centric character study of all time, come swoon over big sister JJ Harrington and watch as her presence in his life creates a fullness and richness of growth and self-realization LIKE. I could bask in this world for the rest of forever and never get tired of its sincerity and depth and siblingisms, what a heart-squeezing delight from start to finish

🌻haunted hawkins by @hellsfireclub - starts with the brilliant premise of "what if it's not just Hawkins?" and RUNS with it, giving not just beautiful ruminations on both Nancy and Robin as they start a journey towards figuring out just how far the paranormal spreads and also a journey towards mutual self discovery and (: lesbianism (: READ THIS FIC.

🌻then I see you, you're walking 'cross the campus by stellarpoint (@heybluechild) - a lovely little peek at Steve and Nancy's friendship coming back together after they've come into their own a little bit and Nancy being so, so brave in coming out to him. truly this made my heart so big and full and warm i am carrying them gently in the palms of my hands

🌻this must be the place by @judasofsuburbia - JARGYLE CAMPING. the tenderness of this, the peace offered to Jonathan when he hasn't ever really known such a thing, the way they just sort of slot together and find and choose and become each other?? it's got me all soft in the heart and THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. illegal actually. I'm weak in the knees :((

🌻Young, Scrappy, & Hungry by @fragilecapric0rnn - politics ronance rivals to lovers WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?? perfect dynamics already and I can't wait to see where these girls go. the characterizations of them is so REAL despite the very different world of Washington they've been dropped into and my lesbian, TWW-loving ass is feeling soooo normal about them SO normal don't worry about it

🌻The Warmth Pulls by TheDeathsWish - I'm not fully caught up on this one yet, but it is genuinely one of the most unique AUs I've come across so I have to mention it here. It's still 1986 and it's still Hawkins, but the sci-fi overlay is switched out for more purely fantasy elements, including some very cool and beautifully revealed eccentricities and abilities of the characters. Steddie but also so hugely dependent on the ensemble of it all, which you know I eat up, I'm excited to keep working my way through this one!

P.S. if you read and enjoy any of these, please remember to tip your writers in kudos and comments!💛

[zarvasace]

It’s “appreciate yourself” hours! Pick five pieces of writing/art that you’ve done that you love and talk about them! ❤️❤️❤️

Ahhhh okay, thank you!! 💜🌻 I finally have a free moment (aka work is slow) so I'm going to work on drafting this out :) I have far too much art I'm proud of—I'm at a stage in my progress right now where I think my art looks pretty awesome. So this list will be stuff from my Greatest Hits collection on AO3. In order of oldest to newest, I think:

incandescently happy

An LU post-adventure work, one of the first longer fics I posted. I released one chapter a day over the summer of 2022, so a lot of the notes have something about my day in them. It's about 30k all told.

I absolutely adored expanding on what the boys might do after the whole LU adventure happens (though I did forget about the fact that I think Time and Malon have a kid during this time!) This work features some proto-Shatterproof stuff, like Wind having a prosthetic leg and Four starting to specialize in crafting prosthetics/disability aids. I gave Hyrule longer hair and a job making maps for the royal family. Legend got another adventure but also started a magic garden/orchard, which pulls in more business than Ravio's stuff. Four and his grandpa adopted a single mother and her two kids. Man I went off with some of these headcanons. I've always considered writing more in this world, but I think it stands very well on its own. Maybe someday I might revisit and rewrite it with some of my new skills. :)

Rise and Shine and Fall

Whumptober 2022, focused entirely on LU! Guys this thing is almost 78k. I realize now that most people pre-plan or pre-write for things like Whumptober, but I wrote these one by one every day, which was extra-hard because I had both college classes and a day job at the time. I came up with some fun AUs, learned a lot about writing (especially whump), and proved to myself that I can do hard things like this!! I've adored doing daily challenges since, though I haven't done it in a while. I look forward to this year's whumptober though!

I really like the table of contents in the first chapter—it makes things easy to find. I know individual works are probably more accessible, but I was still getting to know AO3, and those big numbers are fun. XD I have a hard time picking favorites, because I really went off on these, but I'd say a couple of them are:

Chp 3, "Right Here" about Sky

Chp 7, "Proof of Life" about Four and Shadow

Chp 18, "I'm onwy a babey :(" about Wind

Chp 21, "6:13" about Hyrule and Time

Chp 26, "Silence is Golden" about Wild

Chp 31-32, "The Worst Thing About Earth" about Legend, but kind of more specifically the rewrite/expansion I did last year... haha...

The Marvelous Misadventures of Wind and His Merry Band or Maybe-Human Heroes

It's been a while since I updated this story (56k, 6/8 chapters), but it's constantly on my mind. I've started chapter 7 twice, and I know what I want to happen, but I am easily distracted by the siren call of some other whump fics. XD

I freaking love this story, though. I really want to finish it. It's kind of an... experiment? I guess? I want to get published someday, and I picture myself writing middle-grade novels. This story is sort of my attempt to hit that tone. Also I just love Wind so so so much. Let him be cool!!

Blood-Sucker's Guide to High School

56k Four Swords completed story! I wrote this in a frenzy of like two or three weeks, then took another two to edit. It takes plot points from a vampire novel I enjoyed and twists and applies them to a story about Shadow and the Four Swords manga boys. I'm very proud of what I accomplished here, and that it's a complete story! I think it worked out really well. I learned a lot about plotting and handling larger stories, and it helped that I had the half-remembered structure of an existing novel to use as training wheels.

I love the worldbuilding in this story! The premise is that Shadow is an evil soulless vampire from a (rather abusive, not that he sees it) family of the same, but then he gets the ability to walk in the sunshine. He's assigned to go to high school for a while to get a feast for the vampire gala, but meanwhile he's developing a conscience and getting very attached to these human boys. I think I did a good job. I love rereading this, every scene is just so fun! :)

Counterbalance

55k exactly of a stupid LU darks AU. This started life as a series of oneshots and then the plot progressively got more and more convoluted and I love these stupid boys so much. The plot is very much not tight, in contrast to Blood-Sucker's Guide, but I learned a lot about how I write and how I like to plan with this one, too.

The characters are stupid and the plot is just kinda silly and there is both a bathhouse scene AND a spa scene. Legend blows up multiple things, my lovely nasty little Dark Links need smacks and therapy, and Prince has a legitimately emotional moment at the end. I love how it turned out, it's like an ugly little stuffed animal I made and hug until the eyes pop out.

That's five but I would be extremely remiss if I did not also mention something from Shatterproof:

The Incredible Shrinking Chain

About 10k, this is entry 31/68 in my series Shatterproof, which is a close-canon AU in which each of the boys has a different physical disability. This series also plays into my publishing ambitions, because whatever I publish will very likely have some disability representation. I'm rather passionate about it, actually! Shatterproof is close to my heart, and I'm so honored that so many people seem to love it too. :) I need to work on the next entry again!!

This entry in particular is so much fun. In it, the whole Chain sans Four is stuck mouse-sized, and Four has to travel out to Twilight's castle with them to get Dusk to help break the curse. They all have to figure out how to navigate while tiny, and Four pulls some very silly stunts. I love them.

Anyway, there's my list!! I've written a lot over the last like two and a half years, and I'm so so glad that I get to be here and part of this community. The LU fandom as a whole (or at least the parts I've seen!) is so welcoming and positive and I try to give back where I can! I'm going to suggest looking through my bookmarks and ultimate rec list collection to find some new favorites from some very talented authors! :) (oof I need to update the collection soon!! I've been seeing some awesome stuff!)

[kirsicca]

Wow it's been six weeks since I was last active! Don't worry, not planning on abandoning simblr or anything, I just haven't been on sims mood for some time and other things have kept me busy.

I'm in the middle of my summer holiday and I've really taken my time to recover from work, which means I have basically just been chilling and forgetting every responsibility that I have! 💗

I've been having some internal pressure about finishing my stories and making cc so I've stayed away from simblr because of that (except for some casual lurking, you know) until creating content feels fun again for me and not just a chore. I've been playing the game during this hiatus and I'm really excited about the new ep, but I'm just so tired of updating cc all the time so I've been playing the game sort of vanilla-ish with just a few mods and I've been enjoying it a lot more than I expected!

I'll be fully back eventually when I feel like it, but I just wanted to give a little check on how things are going in my end! Love you all and keep creating amazing things! 🌻

[leftoverenvy]

Tastes Like Sugar (ch. 29)

Summary: India Mae, or Indi, is a music major, struggling to pay bills, tuition, work, and make good grades.  Emily Prentiss is a BAU profiler, as well as a DC socialite thanks to her huge family fortune.  The two enter into a mutually beneficial arrangement: Emily will pay for Indi's school if Indi accompanies Emily to her social functions for a few months, posing as her girlfriend.  As weeks go by, the lines between their arrangement and their true feelings start to blur.  But money can't buy love, right?

Pairing: India Mae Banks x Emily Prentiss; OC x Emily Prentiss

Warnings: smut; sugar baby relationships; age gap (16 years - but all over 18)

Word Count: 2.8 k

Read on Wattpad | Ao3 | Previous Chapters

Taglist: @ssa-sapphic 🧸; @5raysofsunshine 🌮; @reidselle 🦭; @swiftfiles 🐝💚; @gaelic-symphony 🎻 ; @sadgirlml 🌻💌; @hotchs-bitch 🦆 ; @multiverse-mxdness ; @madelineleong ; @scorpsik 🎨 ; @heidss

A/n: Wow, I am so so sorry that it's been so long since an update.  I've finally found my joy in writing again.  If you're still following this story, I cannot tell you how much your patience and loyalty means to me.  Enjoy <3

Chapter 29 - Wayward

My summer with Emily was like a dream. She had only been gone on two cases, spending more regular hours in the office. We didn't comment on her unusually light case load for fear it would jinx it. I loved the time we were able to spend together with a more normal schedule. I enjoyed twisting myself around her while we watched movies on the couch. I relished the way she made me feel as she watched me play the piano. I yearned for the way she touched me every night.

Even though she had been gone for a case in Alaska for the last week, I still counted it a blessing to have had so many weeks uninterrupted by calls away. "Hi angel!" I startled, jumping halfway off the couch.

Once I had caught my breath, I smiled widely and responded, "Emily!" She flopped down next to me on the couch, pulling me in for a proper kiss. "Missed you," I mumbled between kisses. Once our frenzy had slowed down, I whispered against her neck, "I have something for you."

"That's funny, me too!" She whipped out a keychain with a photo of the Northern Lights in it.

I chuckled, sitting up to grab it and examine it more closely. "This is actually very pretty, Em. I thought these were supposed to be cheesy."

"I thought the Alaskan landscape deserved better. It was gorgeous up there; I wish you could have seen it."

"Thank you, babe. I love it." She kissed my cheek, tugging me closer.

"Now," she started, "What's this about a present for me?" I smiled bashfully, suddenly nervous to play the song I had finished for her. "I thought I was supposed to bring you presents."

"I didn't say it was a present. It's not a big deal. Just a lil something."

"Mmhm," she hummed skeptically, her eyes narrowing. "Show me." Something in Emily's glittering eyes told me she was excited by the prospect of receiving a gift. When was the last time someone had gotten her something that she really wanted?

I reluctantly left her arms and stood up. Butterflies swarmed my stomach, nerves overtaking me. This was a bad idea. I should have recorded her song and let her listen to it on her own. I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet – she was going to hate this.

"I've uh," I nervously sat down at the bench, "Been composing this summer." I had worked all summer on this composition when Emily was out of the house.

"I know, baby. You've done some really great pieces."

"Yeah, well." I swallowed thickly. I tried to think of what to say next.  I thought you deserved one to show you how much I love you.  Instead, I whispered, "This one's called 'Emily's Song.'" Before she could say anything, I started playing.

As soon as I pressed down on the keys, my hands knew what to do. I didn't need to think about it, muscle memory controlled my fingers. I felt myself start to tear up playing, knowing just how much love I had woven into this song. I wished I was brave enough to tell her. Embarrassed by how emotional I was, I begged my eyes to suck the tears back in, certain Emily would be appreciative but not emotional. 

As I started the last part of the song, I knew that I would never love anyone like I loved Emily Prentiss. But the thought terrified me. I was only twenty-two – what did I know about love? And how could she feel even a fraction of what I felt for her?

When the final notes of the song rang through the air, I couldn't bring myself to look at Emily, far too embarrassed. I heard her sniff and then push herself off the couch. Another beat passed and I felt her arms wrap around my shoulder. "That was perfect, Indi. Thank you." She pressed a kiss to my temple, her lips lingering longer than usual. "I mean it, angel. No one's ever written a song for me before. It was absolutely beautiful."

Her lips trailed down the side of my face, lingering at the corner of my mouth and until I turned my head to kiss her back. She deepened the kiss and trailed her hands down my body to show me how much she liked the song.

- - -

Emily and I fell back into our morning routine as if we hadn't broken it during the summer. I made us breakfast as she packed her go bag for work. We ate in silence, as she read on her iPad. Breaking the quiet, she asked, "Are you ready for your first day back?"

"I guess," I responded morosely. "I liked our summer together. I liked being able to focus on music and you. No math or English essays to worry about." Emily chuckled at that, moving her dishes to the sink. 

"At least you have a good first recital piece ready."

Puzzled, I asked, "Which one?"

"My song," she said, beaming with pride.

I narrowed my eyes with uncertainty. "You really think it's good enough for recital?"

"Yes I do," she affirmed. And her voice was so confident, it left no room for objection. "This will be your best semester yet!" she said positively. 

"But how can I be expected to do homework when you're home if your case load keeps up like this?"

"Are you pushing for me to go away on a case?" she asked with a smirk.

"Absolutely not!" I protested. "I'm just saying, it will be hard to concentrate knowing you're home."

"We'll manage, angel." She kissed me on the forehead and moved to holster her gun to her hip. My heart skipped a beat staring at her; she made everything look sexy. "I'm off to work now. I'll text you if I'm called away." She leaned down to kiss me briefly. "I want to hear all about how your first day goes! I'll call you if I'm away, or I'll see you tonight."

"Bye, Em." When the door to the garage closed softly behind her, I sighed. I wanted to get to campus early so I could get a good seat in class. I quickly did our dishes, grabbed my backpack, and hurried out the door.

But life had a funny way of balancing itself out. I had had the best summer of my life and was already disappointed to have to go back to classes, just to receive the worst welcome back to school present: my car broke down. I called Emily in tears, worried that I was going to start the semester off on the wrong foot with my first professor.

I dialed Emily's number with shaky hands, feeling the passing cars shake mine as they zoomed past me on the highway. I wasn't sure how Emily understood me through my hiccups and tears when I told her I was stuck on the shoulder of the highway.

"Shhh. Calm down, baby. It's going to be okay, I'll make all the arrangements. As soon as we're off the phone, I'll call a tow company to come get it and take it to the shop." I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, tears abating, thankful, as always, for Emily.

She continued, "In the meantime, baby, just drive the Lexus – the keys are by the door." I felt my heart rate elevate at the thought. "Or, if you'd prefer, you can Uber over to Quantico and pick up the Jag."  Pick up the Jag.  She said it so casually, as if driving one of her very expensive cars did not cause me extreme anxiety.

"No I do not want to "pick up the Jag!" Emily, what if I crash your car?!" I felt my face go hot at the thought, palms starting to sweat in anxiety. "You love all of these cars and they're so expensive and I'm not on your insurance!" I rushed out.

"Breathe Indi! It's just a car. And you don't have one right now. Please, take whatever car you want. Or Uber everywhere – I'll put more money in your account for it. Is that what you'd prefer?"

"No!" I nearly shouted. I took another deep breath, trying to keep in perspective that this wasn't Emily's fault and she was just trying to help. "I-" I exhaled into the phone. "I'm sorry," I deflated, "It wasn't fair to blow up at you like that. I appreciate you letting me drive the Lexus." 

Sensing the storm was over, Emily said, "I'm only sorry I can't see you drive it." I could almost hear the smirk in her voice. "I'm certain you'd look damn sexy in that car."

I chuckled and swiped at the remaining tears, embarrassed I had cried so much in front of Emily. "We'll see if you still say that when I ding your Lexus," I half joked.

"Like I said," her tone more serious, "It's just a car, angel." I paused, unsure what else to say. Her voice was calming though – she calmed me. "Look, I've gotta run. I promise I'll send a tow truck, but Uber home and grab the Lexus so you aren't late for class, okay?"

"Okay," I said softly, tears welling back up in my eyes.

"I'll call you later with an update."

"Bye…" And the line went dead.

- - -

Throughout my first class, my thoughts fixated on my car and how I was going to pay for everything. Even though Emily had been paying for most everything the last few months, I wasn't sure I'd be able to afford whatever the mechanic's bill was going to be. 

As my thoughts contemplated every little thing that could go wrong with my car, I missed everything my professor said. I was immensely thankful the first day was always spent going over the syllabus. I'd just have to make sure to read that thoroughly later tonight.

Over the lunch hour, Emily called. "Car's toast and probably not worth fixing."  So much for easing into it, I thought. I sighed deeply. Of course life would throw this at me. Things with Emily were just too good for everything else to be going right. 

"Okay…" I sighed. I mentally calculated how long I could go without a car while I built my savings up again. I also braced myself for having a conversation with Emily later about asking to go back to work; that battle wouldn't be won easily. But how else was I supposed to take on a car payment?

"I'll see you tonight, okay baby? I'm going to make sure to come home early."

- - -

Later that evening, once classes had finished, I arrived home. I was excited by the prospect of Emily coming home early, and I eagerly awaited the garage door opening to see if her car was in the garage. Once the door had raised fully, I counted three cars in the garage…except, whose car is that?  In my spot, where my car should have been, was parked a shiny, new Audi. Panic swelled inside of me. I didn't want to rush to conclusions, but Emily didn't drive Audis. In fact, I had told her it was my dream car. But surely she wouldn't have irrationally bought me a car without thinking about it first.

Not seeing the Jag parked in her spot, I quickly dialed her number as I walked through the door. "Do you like it?!" she asked excitedly.

"So I'm not crazy?" I spit out, trying to control my rising temper. "You did buy me a car?"

"Yes! Do you like it?" she repeated.

"Emily…" I said in warning. 

"Don't make this a big deal, India. I swear to god, don't. This isn't a big deal."

Her flippant tone fanned the flames of my anger. "It's a car, Emily. An expensive one at that." Suddenly, Emily's cavalier attitude on spending rubbed me the wrong way. I had never cared what anyone did with their money; it was theirs to do with as they pleased. But to hear firsthand how dismissive she was about such a purchase enraged me. Especially because she was wasting her money on me.

How could she not understand this? She threw money around like it was nothing. It made me feel like shit, like I was worthless. How could I ever repay someone who gave me everything? How could I ever be enough for her? I had nothing. I was nothing.

She sighed into the phone. "Can we talk about this when I get home?"

Clipped, I responded, "Great." And I hung up. Immediately, I knew I shouldn't have done that. No matter how badly she angered me, she didn't deserve to be disrespected.

I paced the living room waiting for Emily, counting out each step until I lost track. I tried to match my breathing to each tick of the clock on the wall. For forty-three minutes, I tried to calm down, anxious about our impending argument.

But no amount of mental preparation would have helped, because as soon as Emily walked through the door, we started fighting about the car.

"I don't see what the big deal is, Indi. It's a car for fuck's sake." I winced at her cursing during an argument.

"But that's exactly it, Emily! You can't understand why this is a big deal for me."

"Do you not like the car? Is that what it is? We can exchange it for any kind that you want," she offered.

"It's too much! And it wasn't part of the deal!" I shouted at her.

Shock flooded her face and she froze. Softly, almost hurt, she asked, "Do you seriously still consider this just an arrangement?" She spit the last word out as if it left a sour taste in her mouth. "You can stand there and really tell me that you still just see me as an ATM?"

"I NEVER saw you as an ATM, Emily. Of course this is more than being your sugar baby." It still didn't sit right. Rocks settled in my stomach. How could I ever get her to understand? 

"Then what? You think just because I love you that should mean my support should just stop" - she snapped her fingers - "like that?"

Our argument entirely forgotten, "You love me?" I whispered, aching at the thought of her taking it back, but sick at the thought of her really meaning it. I wouldn't allow myself to believe she meant it.

"I-" She blew out a puff of air. "Yeah." Time stopped. My breathing, my thoughts – they all stopped. "I love you, Indi. I am so in love with you."

And for a split second, I almost accepted the car. But accepting this huge gift almost felt like I would be solidifying our original arrangement. I couldn't sort it out anymore. I was overwhelmed by it all. By how much I needed Emily. By how this had turned into something so different than the life I had pictured for myself. I didn't know who I was anymore; I had lost myself in a game of make believe.

Emily couldn't want me forever like I wanted her. Too soon she would realize that I could give her nothing in return. Only then, it would be too late for me. I would be too far gone, too far entrenched in the India Emily wanted me to be, the real Indi never to be seen again.

My eyes went huge at the thought. Who had I let Emily turn me into? Who had I become during this arrangement? And how had I lost myself so quickly? Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. This mansion felt like a collapsing, cardboard box. Emily's affection, once a warm, safe blanket around me, now felt like a noose.

Shaking my head, I turned and ran upstairs. When I came back down, bag packed, Emily hadn't moved an inch. 

I needed distance from this life – from Emily – so I could find Indi again. But who was I without Emily? It had only been six months, and already I had no idea what life would be without her. I had pretended to be what I thought Emily wanted for so long that I forgot who I was. It didn't matter, though. Because if anything was certain it was that I could never be enough for Emily. She deserved so much more than the little I could give her.

I drove quickly back into the city, to Penelope, to my real life. I knocked on the door to what used to be my home praying Penelope was there to greet me. When she opened the door, tears flooded down my face. As I walked through the door, Pen's arms around me, I couldn't help but feel unsettled. I didn't feel at home here anymore. If I didn't fit into my old life, or into Emily's, where did I belong?

Continue to next chapter

[ajayorsomething]

Our sunflowers finally started blooming yesterday… they look so beautiful!!! I love it <3🌻

Hope you guys are enjoying the last bits of summer and are looking forward for autumn just like I am

[call-sign-shark]

✨ Forget-Me-Not || Ch.3✨

Summary:  Jake calls you in the evening, panicking: Amber is sick and he does not know what to do. — Or how a flower girl will try to heal a heart beyond repair 

Words: 3.1k

Tags: fluff, dad!Jake, like tooth-rotting fluff, domestic situation

Read Part 1 || Part 2

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Psss don't forget to reblog 💚

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

The crackling of the fire, dancing in the hearth, is lulling you to sleep. Heavy as lead, your eyelids close as you doze off, comfortably curled in one of the living room’s armchairs. A pleasant smell of chamomile tea and warm brioche floats in the whole house – your Aunt has just removed the cake she has baked from the oven and has put it on the kitchen table.

If heaven is a place, you are convinced it is Aunt Maya’s house.

Your sleepy mind wanders from thought to thought. Did the last client’s wife enjoy the wedding bouquet you made for her? Will you wash your hair tonight or are you feeling too lazy to do that? Despite the myriad of thoughts you have, your brain always comes back to the memory of Jake Seresin kissing you on the beach. The smell of sunscreen, the sun’s warmth on your skin, and the intoxicating taste of his lips… You continuously recall every slightest detail of the date and, each time you do so, a wave of desire lights your soul on fire. When focusing hard enough on the fresh recollection of your last encounter with the handsome pilot, you can still smell the delicate scent of the ocean melted with his masculine and slightly musky perfume. Since that afternoon, Jake and you meet almost every day.

Summer fling or summer love, whatever you call it, it cannot be ignored. This is what Aunt Maya said when you told her about Jake.

You are about to fall into Morpheus’ soft arms when the muffled sound and vibrations of your phone snatch you from sleep, causing you to jolt. 

A quick glance at the clock on the wall: it is 8 PM. Thoughts bump into each other in your skull, for you do not expect any phone call. You blink several times to shoo the fatigue away from your sleepy eyes and grab your phone to look at the screen.

Jake 🌻 

Your brows furrow at his name. Even though you got in the habit of calling each other for hours almost every night, it never happens at this time of the evening. Indeed, Jake makes sure Amber is deeply asleep first before spending time with you. You pick up the phone

“Hello?”

“Poppy, I’m sorry for calling you this late but — but I need you.” Jake’s panicked voice sweeps your smile away. Concerned, you get up from the armchair and start to scurry around the living room. Staying still during a phone call had never been a thing for you.

“Alright. What’s the problem?” You keep your composure, hoping for the calmness in your voice to soothe the aviator.

“It’s Amber.” He pauses and takes a deep breath, but his attempt to keep his cool fails miserably, “She has quite a high fever and I don’t know what to do. I – I tried to call Penny but she doesn’t pick up. I asked Rooster and Shark but they are both fucking clueless and useless. Should I bring her to the hospital? Should I give her meds? I don’t know.” He is talking very quickly, and his words muddle up in a half-incomprehensible soliloquy.

“Jake”

“I mean, I’m scared of giving her the wrong type of meds and worsening the situation. But I can’t stay there, arms crossed, while she is clearly in pain! I mean–”

“Jake, calm down. Focus on my voice.” Your tone is firmer but your words are coated with tenderness. Iron fist in a velvet glove they said. You hear the pilot’s shaky breath on the line: he has closed his eyes and holds on to your voice as he would do with a lifebelt, “Do you want me to come?” 

Another short pause followed by a long and shaky exhale, “Yes please,” he asked.

“Okay, see you soon.” You double-time to the corridor to put your black Dr. Martens on as soon as you hang up. There is no time to waste, you mumble to yourself for the simple thought of Amber and Jake in distress makes you utterly worried. 

“Where are you going, Poppy?” Aunt Maya’s voice said from the kitchen. The lovely old woman is cutting brioche slices and spreading butter on them. She does not even look at you, far too absorbed in his task.

“A friend of mine’s got a problem with his daughter. Gotta help him.” You reply, half distracted by the search for Aunt Maya’s car key. 

“Left pocket of my purple jacket.” She declares. You freeze – How the hell does she know what you are looking for? You turn your head towards the kitchen's open door expecting to see Aunt Maya’s silhouette standing there but she is not. The lovely old woman’s lips stretch in a faint but cunning smile, for she can easily imagine your surprise.  You squint your eyes and look into the pocket of the said jacket:  she is right, the car key is here. The palm of your hand tightens around the car key as you shake your head, amused. Sometimes you wonder if Aunt Maya is the daughter of a witch they couldn’t burn.  After all, she had a black cat, was a good cook, she knew plants and their effects by heart ... Yeah, Aunt Maya might be an actual witch.

“Thanks! I don’t know when I’ll be back home.” 

“Keep me informed, dear.”  She states, her voice emphasizing your nickname to make sure you won't forget to send her messages. You are about to grab the door handle when Aunt Maya’s voice echoes a second time, just before you leave, “Poppy?”

“Yeaaah?”

“ Be careful not to wound yourself with the shards of a broken heart. They can be really sharp.” 

“Uhu!” You agree without really listening to what she has just said, for you are too impatient to leave. The door slams at your departure, plunging the house into silence. 

Aunt Maya gently shakes her head, wishing you would not learn it the hard way. 

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

The car engine stops purring as soon as you turned the ignition key and slip it into one of your pockets. You grab the bag on the passenger seat and rest it on your lap for you to quickly roam through the stuff you have brought. You check if you have not forgotten anything.  Ibuprofen, soft body sponges, a light Lion King blanket, and plenty of food-- You did not know what Amber likes to eat so you basically bought everything that children of her age love alongside a bunch of fresh fruits. Realizing the weight of the bag, you suddenly feel ridiculous. Isn't it a bit too much? At this point, you are even afraid of Jake's reaction; you don't want him to think you know children better than him nor you want him to believe you meddle too much in his and his daughter’s life.

You are about to leave the car when a familiar floral smell makes you stop in mid-motion. Frowning, you glance over your shoulder to take a look at the backseat. Your Y/EC eyes are welcomed by the tiny white bells of several sprigs of Lily-in-the-Valley, tied with a white silk ribbon. What are these flowers doing here? At first, you thought Aunt Maya may have forgotten them, but you quickly give up the idea for the old woman would never forget flowers in the back of her car. In fact, she was the kind of passionate soul who would have taken care of the bouquet even before taking care of herself. Looking at them a little closer, you notice a small note.

"Carried away by a soft summer breeze,  the sweet and green fragrance of my nodding blooms promises the return of happiness." 

A soft smile enlightens your face as you recognized the handwriting. Aunt Maya is definitely a witch. You reached for the flowers and smell their delicate spring-like scent. If you already bring a whole minimarket in your bag, you might as well take the Lilies-of-the-Valley with you.

"Damn it," you grumble as you are making your way to the door while trying not to damage the flowers or drop the bag's content all over the ground. Fortunately enough, Jake is already at the door, one of his shoulders leaning against the wooden frame. He has heard the sound of your engine from inside the house.

"Let me help you," He said while already unburdening you from the bag. Somehow, he is well aware that you are strong enough to carry it by yourself, but he feels bad for making you come to his house in the midst of the evening, so he tries to make up for it. Despite his anxiety, the sight of the adorable flowers bouquet in your two delicate hands brought a genuine smile to his face. He has never told you but each time you bring him flowers, the fortress he had built around his heart shatters a bit more. 

Jake’s house is a typical beachfront house, whose prevailing material is maple wood. Far from being pompous, his home is more like a cozy nest than a fancy and luxurious residence. The living room is spacious, with an open kitchen. The man makes a good living, but he likes simple things. Growing in Texas often humbled him. Jake puts down the groceries on the kitchen table. Then, he grabs a glass, pours water in it, and sets it on the counter for you to put the lilies in. A faint and exhausted smirk is etched on his thin lips, but you know the last thing he wishes at this moment is to smile. He is just being polite. You put the bouquet in the glass and take a deep breath.

“Alright, where is Amber?”

“In her bedroom”, Jake turned around to face you and leaned against the kitchen table, half-sitting on it. His strong and calloused hands are gripping its edge, “She is trying to sleep but she can’t,” his formal smile slowly fades away from his good-looking face, “When she came back from school she told me she wasn’t feeling well. Headache and stuffy nose. I obviously thought she had caught a cold but one hour ago she started shaking like a leaf and crying. I took her temperature and, dear God, she was burning.” While talking, the aviator had brought a trembling hand on his neck to rub it in a nervous reflex. The kitchen’s light reflects on Jake’s tanned skin and underlines the dark bags he had under his sea-green eyes. To be honest, this is the first time you realize how tired he must be. Hardworking naval aviator, divorced man, single dad, and sports aficionado, you wonder how he can do it all without breaking down.

You take a step closer and gently press your cold hand on his warm arm, remaining silent. You want him to know that you are here for him, but you are afraid of not finding the right words. The contrast between your body temperature wakes up a firework of sensations in your stomach. Jake’s muscles relax as if your simple touch has the power to heal his wounds.

“I usually call Penny when I don’t know what to do but I’ve forgotten she and Amelia are spending a few days sailing with their boat.” His voice, coated with fear a short time ago, is quieter. You crack a soft smile.

“So you thought calling Rooster and Shark was a good idea?”

“I freaked out, but I quickly remembered they suck with kids. They panicked even more than I did. Plus, they are having a short road trip together so they can’t even come,” He pauses and lets out a long sigh, “I am an awful dad. Not even able to know what to do when my own daughter is sick.” Sadness glows in his emerald eyes.

“Don’t beat yourself, Jake. You are scared because you love her to death, and that’s far from being a flaw.” You gently lay your small hand on his cheek, enjoying the raspy sensation of his stubble beard against the delicate flesh of your fingertips. Jake would usually be clean shaved, so seeing him with beard amuses you: it suits him well. But what doesn’t anyway? Lulled by your voice, the pilot closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh. He does not know how but you always manage to find the words to calm him down. The exact words and tone — at this point he suspects you to be some kind of witch. Less than ten minutes has passed, and his anxiety already decreased because of your reassuring presence.

“But”

“Hush. Can you show me where Amber’s bedroom is?” Your fingers run one last time on his cheek in a sweet caress before you back up and rummage through the groceries bag to grab what you needed, “You know, I would not worry if I were you. Kids can have a sudden high fever but it usually does not last long. You told me she caught a cold, well it can possibly come from he–”

“Dad, my head hurts!” Said a tired and squeaky voice coming from behind you. Jake and you turn around as one, only to find little Amber standing on the last step of the staircase dressed in a pale pink fluffy pajama. She is rubbing her eyes and sobbing, unable to express her discomfort by other means than crying from her ten little years old. You looked at her, an expression of pure sadness sweeping away your smile. Seeing the bubbly little Amber sobbing breaks your heart.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Jake does not wait any further and immediately walks to his daughter to carry her in his arms. As soon as her dad grabs her, the young girl clings to him like a baby koala, “Don’t worry, Poppy and I are going to take care of you.” He says softly, gently lulling her by stroking her back. As loving the sight of the two is, something disturbs you: Amber is dressed far too much for someone with a high fever.

“Is Poppy gonna stay with me too?” Amber’s little voice asks before she glances at you, curiously. To be true, she missed having a feminine figure in her life, even though she cannot really word it – nor she wants to. Having you around soothes her even more. Jake looks at you, his emerald eyes waiting for your answer as attentively as Amber.

“Of course, I’m gonna stay. And we’ll fight the fever together, little cheetah?”

Little cheetah. Amber lets out a tired chuckle at the pet name, for she immediately understands you call her like that because, when you first met, she ran to you. She laughs, and it is everything. Watching the little blonde girl’s joy makes your heart sparkle. Without further ado, you join the pair and pressed one hand on Jake’s lower back while the other is busy carrying a sponge, a blanket, and a banana, “I’ve got an idea since you cannot sleep. What if we all watch the movie you want?”

“Can we watch the Lion King?” She asks, her face half hidden in her father’s neck. The aviator cannot help but snort, amused. He swears he knows every line of the movie by heart, but that comes with the joy of having kids. 

“Of course, we can watch it, that’s also one of my favorite movies. By the way, look what I brought.” You show her the blanket you’ve bought for her: it was a huge and comfy black blanket with the movie logo – a lion face – on it. Amber’s eyes widen at such a sight, her sea-green iris enlightened with excitement.

“Is it for me?!” Amber beams.

Jake lowkey clenches his jaws, trying hard not to let his heart fall for you, even though he is afraid it’s already too late. His inner voice whispers in his ear, telling if that it would not mind if you would stay in their life forever. 

“But first, Dad’s gonna dress you with something lighter. Aren’t you, dad?” 

“Hm?” Snatched from his thoughts, Jake looks at his daughter, then at you, and blinks several times until his mind connects with what you just said, “But she’s sick. She needs to wear something warm.”

“Nope, she has a high fever, and wearing something too warm can increase her body temperature. She’ll feel better with a lighter pajama.” You raise a brow and the pilot falls silent. He stares at you for a short while, completely wrecked by the thought of you being a caring mom for his daughter. After the bloody war, he fought against his ex-wife to gain Amber’s custody back, Seresin swore to never let another woman step into his and his daughter’s life. And here she was,  looking at you with complicity even her own biological mother never had with her. 

“Alright, we’ll be there in five minutes.” He finally says, managing to come back to his senses by God knows what kind of miracle. As the father and his daughter disappear upstairs, you decide to make the living room the coziest place possible, already comfortable in this household.

You start cutting fruits and chocolate squares in a bowl, in the company of the spring fragrance coming from the lily-of-the-valley next to you.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it. 

Amber’s eyes were staring at the screen as Rafiki talked to a grown-up Simba, the movie making her forget the discomfort she was feeling lately. With one hand, she picks banana slices and chocolate. With the other, she presses the cold water-soaked sponge you gave her to alleviate the fever against her forehead. At some point, the adorable little blond turns from her dad to lean her head against your shoulder, her eyes – green like wild forests – still focusing on the screen. You glance at her and smile, a wave of tenderness coming through your soul each time you would look at her lovely bratty pout. 

Hey! Where are you going?

I’m going back! 

Jake’s heart races to the rhythm of Hans Zimmer’s This is My Home. He has tried really hard not to look at Amber and you, snuggling together and eating the snacks you had made for her to feel better. His very own soul could not handle it – One more glance is all it can take for him to definitely tear his heart from his ribcage and give it to you, no matter if you destroy it right after. 

But Amber liked you so much. And you’ve been seeing each other almost every day for one full month.  He brings one hand to his forehead, feeling feverish all of sudden. Maybe he has caught Amber’s cold – How can he realize you were the one giving him the fever?

It’s going to be dangerous.

Danger? Haha! I laugh in the face of danger!

His shiny green eyes cannot help but take a quick look at you, but as he gives in he realized he cannot look away anymore. Enchanted by your charming silhouette, Jake drowns in your features. You are beautiful – so beautiful that the flowers you always brought could not compete with your graceful looks. Feeling watched, you frown slightly and check on the blonde pilot. Your eyes meet, and time stops. Boom, boom, it beats faster and faster in his chest. He gathers all his willpower and stretches his arm to rest it on the couch’s back right behind you.

Amber has started to doze off, still snuggled up to you. It seems like she does not want to let you go – Good thing, his father neither.

“Please stay,” Jake whispers, doing his best not to wake his daughter up.

“But it’s going to be dangerous.” You reply, your lovely smile enlightening your face.

“Danger? I laugh in the face of danger.” 

“Of course you do, Seresin.” 

You chuckle.

He falls.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Taglist: @acarboni21 @child-of-of-the-sunshine @djs8891 @teacupsandtopgun @clancycucumber230 @eddiesgorlie

[foulfeast]

🥂, 🌧️, 💽?

🌻 random in-character questions

🥂 "How do you celebrate you accomplishments?"

"Ohhh yes, Pluto loves to celebrate milestones with me! They'll invite me to stay the night and we have nice white wine or cider, eat crackers with different cheeses and just talk and... and we... talk..." their initial exitement falters for a moment, but they seem to snap out of it quickly. "They often give me gifts too. You should see the shawl they gave me last summer..."

kani note: irrelevant to the question but still a fun factoid: they'll never wear that shawl bc they're scared of ruining it and its so fancy and nice!

🌧️ "When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?"

"Oh, yik! No, no, no, and- and it's not just because rainweather is so dangerous! It's cold and wet, and there's always the horrible possibility of thunder- I don't like going out when it rains. Or winds. Wait- no- when it's windy.

But I do have a very nice raincoat and big umbrella, of course, when I have to go."

💽 "Do you collect anything? Why?"

Strong sense of hesitation falls around them and they respond slowly. "No, I don't really, frankly, no..."

kani note: they have some mild hoarding tendencies, for them related to the fear of letting things go. Pluto would probably have helped w this, but they're honestly kinda the same??? Tho for them its more, "oh but thisll come handy later". So My Moon defi just has a collection of old junk- organized mostly bc that Pluto has helped with. I would say they collect old things. They also like things other people have thrown out. Furniature, clothes, childrens toys, appliances... they live in a very frugal enviroment so its rare that someone will throw anything out that is in a good condition, but they can't help themself.

[youthnighttarot]

I know what you did last summer 🗣️☀️🌻(How last summer impacted who you are now) PAC Reading

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

🔮 Welcome to my tumblr!! I’m🔮youthnighttarot🤗

💜I hope you enjoy the reading and find some level of entertainment and insight

Things to know

💜This is for entertainment purposes only and, not to be taken seriously

💜Take what you resonate with leave the rest

💜All feedback is welcomed as longs as it’s respectful

✨Take a breath before you choose your pile

Pile 1

Tarot Cards Pulled:Strength, Magician (rv), The Hierophant (rv), Moon, Fool, SoW (rv)

Oracle cards: Different path, shadow self, the future is yet to be revealed, surface knowledge

There was some sort of blockage/damage done that prevented something during the summer. You had the courage to stand up for what you believed in. You may have been more compassionate than what you intended to have been for one person in particular. (For a few of you) This was a greedy individual and, they used a lot of manipulation tactics against you. (I hearing because they have money) So for some of you this person may act as if they’re some kind of big wig or something🙄. You had or led a more unconventional lifestyle style and it bothered this person to the core. (Yuck 🤮 please stay mad) They didn’t like this because this meant the dynamic they had would’ve been changed. You may have been lacking clarity about a certain situation during your summer. You were faced with a major decision.

You may have felt trapped with either this person or the situation you were facing at the time. But you choose to stand up for yourself in some way. Wether physically, mentally, or emotionally you stood and changed the nail on the head. For some this may have been some type of unconventional relationship you felt trapped in. This may have caused you to lose weight. Something was causing you to feel like you couldn’t move or leave a situation. This stressed you out. All this trickery that was happening around you at that time. People trying to involve you in drama just honestly some weirdos. All because you didn’t want to be what THEY wanted you to be. Through this situation you were able to find your self-honesty as well as bravery. Someone even could’ve been casting spells on you. (I’m not gonna keep lingering on it though because you’re no longer in that space)

Now you no longer allow people to take advantage of you by creating unnecessary illusions about you or them. You now fight for the knowledge of the unknown. You can see through people’s false identities and egos, very perceptive pile 1. You’re no longer trapped, you’re free in every sense of the word. No longer allowing how other people feel about you and your “unconventional lifestyle” to affect you, let alone guide you. (Tuh 💅🏾) People may have tried to gang up on you to create some weird ass drama or, you could have been fighting your own demons and this is because of deep seeded psychological issues you may need to address. I believe you did that or are doing that at the moment which is why you are care free not reckless but, care free. You’re opening that door and freeing yourself from the shackles of this mental slavery. All in all last summer made you adaptable to many different situations and environments. It allowed for you to see the shadow sides of people and swiftly remove yourself if necessary. You are no longer in conflict with yourself about who you are because, of the lessons you learned from the trickery and manipulative behavior. You’re choosing to stand your ground and know your worth. These past traumas though you still have an emotional connection to them no longer are the first voice you go to…this new you has truly grown from that little girl/boy or woman/man.

Extra Messages

You may have realized you are on a life path unlike anyone else or, you may have had to end up choosing a different path after last summer. You worked on your own shadow self which caused you to be able to see others shadow selves. You’re no longer holding tightly onto control of the future and your life path. You’re going through the fools journey carefree. Surface knowledge is no longer good enough for you.

Pile 2

Tarot card Pulled: 5oS, Death, Chariot, Strength, 10oS (rv), 4oC, 4oC, 9oC

Oracle cards: Missing call, Releasing anxiety, inner critic, new prospective

You may have had to walk away from something or someone. (You may resonate with pile 1) There may have been a period of self-sabotage coming from you….causing stagnancy within your life. But you walked away. You threw in the white flag for this style/way of thinking because, it no longer suited you as you can see now. Someone may not have been honest with you but you believed them anyway because of your own insecurities of acceptance. This situation/person may have caused stress within your life and made for hostile environments. (Yea definitely look at pile 1)

You both had to stand up for yourselves in some way though with you it’s more emotional. There may have been a sudden change that ended a connection/opportunity/career goal…this was a blessing in disguise. (This rejection is the spirit’s protection!!) This change brought new beginnings to your life, new possibilities of what you’re capable of doing. You’ve overcome this challenge and come out victorious. (You better go ahead pile 2) You’ve created boundaries and standards for yourself and others…you will never allow them to be obstructed again.

You’re finding or will find successes. Your wishes,hopes, and dreams for your life are coming to fruition…now that you don’t try to hold on for control you find everything comes easier. You still however understand the necessary hard work that you have to put in and have to continue to put in.

That feeling of not being satisfied with life and that hole you dug for yourself during the summer no longer clouds your vision. You have found true inner strength and the courage to let go in every way not just of people. Of worries, fears, anxieties the whole shabang. You will no longer be unsatisfied with you mental and your emotional health/state. This is a time for celebration coming in your near future. Are you in a celebrating mood? That deceptive energy/feeling you have released….not feeling worthy you have released even if you don’t fully see it now. You have or are entered no joke a new season of your life since last summer. You give people your resting bitch face like 😑when people try this same shit on you now🤭. (And did) Your focused on what provides strength and happiness for your mental state now. You don’t have time for mind games and bullshit. Confirmation again with the four of wands there will be a time for celebration coming up for you so get ready pile 2. There may even be some sort of reunion for a couple of you. (Go listen to the swarm soundtrack Naija sings, that’s the type of energy I’m getting….imma try to leave the link)

Extra Messages

You no longer feel as though you’re missing your calling or you won’t pretty soon. But you can’t wait for it to happen you have to make it happen. Be happy when it happens and before it happens. The anxiety about a certain situation during the summer has been released…no longer lingering in the back of your head even when you don’t want it to. This inner critic of yours needs to stfu because there’s such thing as constructive criticism. And you realize that you are being a lot softer on yourself because you have to. You can’t be your worse enemy. New prospective has been gain after last summer. Keep going pile 2 you got this!!

Pile 3

Tarot Cards Pulled: The High Priestess, 9oW, PoW (rv), AoS (rv), 8oW, Temperance

Oracle cards:Physical suffering, shadow self, different path (rv), emptiness

There may have been some sort of blockage with the voice or your throat because, as I was channeling I had to clear my throat chakra. Someone could have tried to silence you in some way especially with this seven of swords reversed…blackmail of some sort. Someone may have even tried to steal credit for an idea that you came up with. Something may have created a major setback during the summer for you. You could have been trying to work on your spirituality or discover hidden knowledge/truths about something. Someone didn’t like this at all. There were people close to you who knew you were close to succeeding in finding this knowledge….they saw it as an opportunity to underhandly go against you by stealing this or passing the information off as there own because, they’re lazy as hell. You learned from this after the summer not to share all your ideas with people because, they will pray on your downfall. You have a backbone with this 9oW but this person doesn’t so there’s envy on their part or this could be you.

They got caught in a boldface lie and thought they could get away with it but they didn’t…..like at all 🤭. They didn’t have confidence or you may not have had enough confidence to ward this energy vampire off. Either they had to come clean about something they were forced into or you did. This person thought they outsmarted you little do they know they were being outsmarted by spirit 🤭😂. You have a strong creative nature you could be a Pieces or a water sign or have a lot of Neptune influence in your chart. You ignored your subconscious thoughts about entering into a situation/relationship/connection with someone and that backfired. After last summer you are continuing to recover from this loss….focusing on your mental health instead.

You’re regaining your strength and relying on spirit and intuition to guide you. Something regarding a creative project fell through because someone was lying or lying about how much they really knew on the topic. You may have been impatient on an opportunity that was supposed to come to you after this and you instead made the decision to work on this project or with this person on this project when everything inside you told you not to. You may have had a hard time channeling your creativity in the past months leading up to this. This could have been a reunion of the sort that turned sour. This person came in fast and destroyed everything just as fast only to vanish. You are finding your road in the middle or sum like that lol 😂. You’re regaining your knowledge of self and most of all finding balance within yourself. You’re no longer juggling between two things or two options. You’re finding certainty in accepting failure and using it as a learning lesson. It could have been a group of people who rushed in on you. But they were two faced and you weren’t truly able to see this. Some of you could be into science or chemistry 🧪.

Extra messages

You made a choice but unfortunately made the wrong decision….you weren’t supposed to take a different path and this caused you to stray from your true path and destiny. This caused delays and serveral blockages that in turn caused you physically suffering in pain from this person/project/group. Your shadow self was brought to the forefront and you had to look it in the eye in order to truly heal. (Seems like that the theme of this reading) You felt empty because you weren’t happy with the direction you were going in but now your slowly rebuilding yourself back up and doing the necessary work as well as building the necessary skills to return bigger and better.

🤳🏾📱Call me beep me if you wanna reach me📲☎️

@youthnighttarot ~ Tumblr

youthnighttarot1111@gmail.com ~ Email

youthnighttarot1111 ~ PATREON EXCLUSIVES

[silenzahra]

Okay. I confess that I grinned deviously when I saw that you'd also reblogged the ask game we've recently started playing. Because this is gonna be a record number of emojis I send. Brace yourself!

🫂🧠(in writing but the point still stands)🫀(hopefully not too concerning xD)💿🪻🌻🍄🌵💧🕹️🥊(more like FOR you... but you knew that already)🌑(thankfully not that worried anymore, but you can still talk to me about anything, anytime)♟️🍁🐚(sorry if the last one is too much, but if I'm gonna give it to anyone, it's got to be you)

In reference to this ask game ✨

🫂 - i wanna hug you

🧠 - i love hearing you talk. you should ramble to me more often

🫀- i love you in a deeply concerning platonic way

💿- i wanna listen to music with you in a treehouse in a summer night

🪻 - you are so so cool and awesome oh my god

🌻- im proud of you

🍄- you didn't deserve what happened to you

🌵- you could stab me and i wouldnt mind as long as its you

💧- you are an important presence in my life

🕹️- i wanna go to an arcade with you

🥊- id beat someone up with you

🌑- you worry me sometimes. just remember im here if you ever wanna talk about anything <2

♟️- you, me, board games.

🍁 - im so glad you're my friend

🐚- our souls are linked in ways i cant put to words

My God, Mugi... Where do I even begin??? My friend, you sent me 15 emojis. FIFTEEN. I can totally see why you grinned like that as you really weren't kidding! 🥹💖

Okay, first of all: let's go listen to some music together and share our favorite songs with each other! 😄 Though perhaps we should go to the southern hemisphere first as summer is far behind from us in the northern one 😂 Maybe we could pay our dear @vulpixfairy1985 a visit and listen to music together! 🥰

LET'S GO TO THE ARCADES AAAAHHH 🤩🤩🤩 I'd LOVE to!! We'd have so much fun together, Mugi, and also playing board games!! I actually really enjoy playing them, but I'm afraid I usually don't have anyone to play with 😅 So it'll be a pleasure to play board games wirh you, my friend!! 🥰💖

Also... thank you so much for the 🌻 and the 🍄, and also for the 🌑 by extension. My dear friend, I truly can't thank you enough for being there for me when I needed it the most 🫂🫂🫂 Your help and support really were life-saving for me. Thank you so much 💖💖💖

And this is exactly why I would NEVER stab you!! 🥺🥺 I could never, my friend, you're also a VERY important presence in my life and I want you to stay that way!! Otherwise, how could I ramble to you?? And how could you ramble back to me as I'm always willing to listen as well?? Writing or otherwise, but what matters is that we ramble to each other 🥺🫂💖

Don't worry, my friend, 🫀 is not concerning whatsoever as I feel exactly the same way about you 🥰 And the same applies to 🐚! Gosh, Mugi, I'm just so honored you decided to give this emoji to me 🥹🥹🥹 Of course it's not too much, it's actually a privilege and I'm not even sure how I'm worthy of it 😭 You flatter me, my friend 💖💖💖

I'm very sorry for all the times I've worried you, but I really appreciate that you care so much about me, and of course I'm also here to talk even if I'm so slow answering 🫂🫂🫂 And yes, I knew about 🥊 indeed, but we can also beat someone up together if needed 🤭 Needless to say I'd do the same for you!! 💖💖💖

Mugi, please believe me: YOU are the cool one, my friend!! In more ways than I can describe!! I really can't express in words how incredibly glad and grateful I am that we're friends, and you know what?? Bring in that hug, my friend!!

I love you, Mugi. I love you so much 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂💖💖💖💖💖

[suchalonelysunflower]

You're on Your Own Kid (a.i)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Fem! Reader

Summary: Based on YOYOK by Taylor Swift. You and Ashton are two best friends who drift apart even if one of you tries to hold on to the relationship.

Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of fatphobia, alcohol, drugs, cheating, eating disorders. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language im sorry)

Word count: 5.6 k

Author's note: This is very me coded cause I needed to sort out feelings regarding two different broken hearts melted into one and several other things so, enjoy my pain, literally. Remember that we love REBLOGS over here and COMMENTS and TAGS and all of that so please, leave your love and SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS. Hope you like it and happy reading 🦋✨🌻

My Masterlist // Taglist on bio!!

Summer went away Still, the yearning stays

8 years old.

There was something so beautiful about the first day of summer break. Maybe it was the fact that the alarm clock didn’t go off and that the sun-soaked curtains were the ones that woke you up, softly letting the warm sunlight hit your face as a reminder that the best twelve weeks of the year were going to start.

Or maybe it was the smile that was immediately drawn upon your face as you heard your best friend call from downstairs:

“Oi, Y/N! What are you waiting for, you bugger?!”

Your barefoot feet touched the floor of your room as you ran to your window, watching with bright eyes and an excited smile as your next-door neighbor and best friend, Ashton, was already waiting for you, all dressed up in his bathers.

“C’mon! We don’t have all day!” He yelled again. You rolled your eyes.

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes!”

You closed your window and headed to the bathroom where you carefully prepared your bathing suit the night before when Anne-Marie came to ask your mother if you and Ash could have a playdate today. More specifically, Ashton was really excited to play with the sprinkler they just got to water the plants, and since neither of them got a swimming pool, he thought it’d be the best idea to combat the Australian heat that way.

Once your teeth were brushed, your hair combed, and your bathing suit on, you were ready to take on summer with your best friend. You ran downstairs to the kitchen, putting on your flip-flops and grabbing your strawberry shortcake backpack before grabbing a cookie from the counter.

“Bye mum!” You called, before heading toward the backyard door.

“Not so fast, young lady!” Your mother’s voice could be heard from the other side of the kitchen.

You sighed as you turned around. Looking defeatedly at the ground as you made your way to her. She stood tall with a crooked brow upon her face, pursing her lips as if she asked you a question even though she never did.

“What’d you got there, sweetie?” She asked, pointing her head toward you but to nothing in particular.

“Uh…”

“Didn’t we talk already about making healthier choices from now on?” She sighed, grabbing the cookie from your hand and giving you an orange instead. “Last year we let it go because of everything that was going on, but you need to start thinking about taking care of yourself, okay?” You nodded.

It wasn’t difficult to understand what she meant. You ate your vegetables and fruits, except bananas and the weird food grandma made that had seeds in it. But it was summer, and she made those cookies yesterday so, who was going to eat them, then?

“Good.” She smiled, cupping your face and placing a small kiss on your forehead “You’ll look so pretty when you grow up, I promise. Now, go play! But be back before sunset!”

“Alright!”

Your smile came back to your face as you walked and peeled the orange, crossing the backyard and opening the fence’s gate that connected your house to Ash’s. There, he was sitting on the ground looking attentively at the gate.

“Finally!” He groaned “I don’t know if you know what 5 minutes are but those were not it”

You chuckled “Sorry! Orange slice?”

“Thanks,” He smiled, getting a whole one in his mouth as he spoke, or tried to, at least “Nough checkth thith outh!”

He walked to the side of the house where he connected the sprinkler to the hose. And suddenly it was like a cascade of rain was falling over you. You squeaked in delight and giggled as you got completely soaked in under a second, watching in awe as the water rose to incredible heights for an eight-year-old and drew shapes in the sky before it fell down over you.

Ashton came running, jumping over the sprinkler and laughing as it moved around, creating new shapes that would soon cover the whole yard in water. You joined him immediately, allowing the water to soak away the heat of the first of many memorable summer days that year.

You played all day and all afternoon. Anne-Marie brought you sandwiches for lunch and stayed with you for a while, even playing with you as she held a small, baby Lauren in her arms, letting her enjoy the water as well. You and Ash would create the most bizarre adventures, imagining you were pirates having a final battle at a waterfall (his idea), pretending you were water fairies (your idea), and trying to see who could outrun the water (both your ideas, neither of you could win).

By the end of the day, you were both exhausted laying on the grass, giggling.

“I don’t want summer to be over!” He said, exaggeratingly throwing his arms to the sky to let them drop to the ground.

“Today’s the first day,”

“But that means one day less!”

“True…” You sighed “Maybe one day we can live on a permanent vacation. Where we don’t have to go to school or work”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Ashton asked, turning toward you.

“Like a real job or my dream job?”

“Aren’t those the same?”

“My mom doesn’t think so. At least she says my dream job is not a real job here so it won’t work”

“Your dream job, then”

“I want to be a singer,” You said, smiling.

Ashton looked confused “But that’s a real job!”

“My mom says it’s not” You shrugged “And I haven’t thought about my real job yet. So what about you?”

“I want to be in a band,” Ashton said with a confident nod “And I’m going to make it my real job”

“Can I be in your band?” You asked.

“Sure! You’re my best friend, of course, you can be in it! Now we only need someone who can play the guitar”

That day you went to bed with a smile on your face.

* I hear it in your voice You're smoking with your boys I touch my phone as if it's your face

17 years old

You halt at the door, take off one of your headphones, and turning back.

“What?”

Your mother, already huffing her way out to meet you halfway, rolled her eyes.

“I said, what are you wearing?”

“Clothes, mom” You answered, tiredly “I’m going to school, you know? The one I’m going to be late to if I don’t catch the bus?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to change?” She tilted her head, “It looks like that’s one of my shirts and-”

“It’s my shirt, mom. We bought it last week” She seemed to have something else to say but you just didn’t have the energy to hear it “I’m gonna be late, bye”

You put back your headphones again, letting Paramore silence the outside world as you walked in the opposite direction to the bus stop. No, you were not going to skip, but the words your mother didn’t say were clinging to the back of your heads like nails, so what if the normal fifteen-minute ride turned into a forty-minute walk? You had time, and plus, the windy morning could really help dry the tears that were already gathering in your eyes.

Crying is not something you did and you were not about to start now. You just got to toughen up, take her words with a grain of salt and keep going. It's not like you’re not making an effort. Is just that for her it is hard to see it since there’s no progress to be shown as fast as she would like.

You’re not in bad shape at all; you’re not a bad kid; your grades are good. It’s just that perfection has a standard in her eyes that you just haven't met yet.

Brick by Brick played for the third time in a loop before you got to school with a few minutes to spare. You smiled at a few of your classmates that you saw in the hallway and went to your locker, opening it to get the things you needed for your first class.

“Hey, you!” A familiar voice said next to you.

You smiled softly as you mindlessly handed Ashton your bag.

“Hey, Ash. Just one moment, please?”

He shrugged as he leaned against the lockers, watching as you put an oversized sweater over your clothes.

“We’re in Australia in April”

“I’m cold”

“Well, it is the year of the end of the world…” You rolled your eyes as you grabbed your bag from him and started to walk together to your first class “Icebergs will melt, the desert will freeze, kangaroos will take over the world-”

“Oh, I would be long dead before a kangaroo tried to fight me” You laughed.

“I’ll defend you!”

“So that our mothers could bury us next to one another? How charming”

The bell rang just in time for the two of you to take your seats. Biology would be the only class you’d share that day and you won’t be seeing each other again until lunchtime rolled around. By that time you were used to losing yourself in thought, especially on days like these where somehow nothing seemed to fit. Or was it because you felt misplaced? You would watch your classmates, smile at them, and make idle talk. You would take notes for your classes and answer the questions the teachers make. But there wasn’t a future here, nothing that seemed to last or that would make you want to stay.

Weekdays were routine that you would soon forget come the weekend. And now the desolated two-day break felt more like the same futile attempt to make something meaningful without succeeding at it. Looking at the window from your room made no sense anymore knowing that Ashton was most likely somewhere else entirely.

At the end of last year, some boy from another school messaged him on facebook asking him to play a gig with them. Since then, Ashton has joined their little band called 5 seconds of summer. A playful name for a band of high schoolers.

You’ve met them a few times and have watched them play whenever they had a gig near town. They were good and were rapidly growing a loyal fanbase with their youtube videos. But their ambition was bigger than just a hobby, and you could see it not just in the way Ashton talked about them, but in the gleam in their eyes every time they hung out or when they played. They were something else and they were ready for more.

However, that didn’t take away the fact that you missed your best friend.

“Earth to Y/N?”

“Huh?” You woke up from your thoughts in the middle of the cafeteria.

Ashton was sitting next to you, a concerned look in his eyes.

“Are you going to finish your lunch?” He said, pointing to your barely touched tray.

“Uh, no. You can have it”

“You’ve barely eaten”

“I’m not hungry” You shook your head, already sliding the tray to him “And you didn’t bring anything again”

He sighed “I forgot… No, I think I put my lunch in Harry’s lunch box again”

“Lucky him, then” You smiled “You’re still driving me home after school and to Mulligan’s later tonight, right?”

Ashton stopped chewing, closing his eyes as he swallowed thickly. Your smile fell.

“Ash-”

“I’m sorry!”

“Ash, you promised-”

“I know! I know, I’m a dickhead!” He said with regret the moment he saw how sad you looked. “But I promised Calum that I would sneak him out of soccer practice to go rehearse at Michael’s for our gig on Saturday and I completely forgot! I’m so, so sorry Y/N”

A sharp pain went through your heart as you took a deep breath before nodding. You looked down to avoid looking him in the eye, knowing that those puppy, hazel eyes would make you weak in an instant. Your thumbs twiddled with each other under the table, trying to take some of the tension away and distract you from the moment. It was no big deal. It was okay.

“It’s okay”

Ashton was not fooled by the whisper in your voice. “Y/N-”

“It’s okay, Ash. Really” You said more firmly this time, looking at him but not directly at his eyes “I can walk myself home, I need the sunlight anyway. And we can do Mulligan’s another day if you’d-”

“No,” Ash shook his head, “I said I’d be there and I will. I can cut the rehearsal short and I’ll meet you guys there! I will not miss it, alright? After all, you can’t wait for the midnight of your birthday another day, silly”

You smiled as you rolled your eyes, letting his arms wrap around your shoulders and bringing you closer to him, wondering if he can feel just how fast is beating.

* (9:25 PM) me: Ash, I’m already at the bar. I was late lol. So it’s okay if you wanted to stay longer with the boys

(9:55 PM) me: are you on ur way? I ordered us some beers ;) I finally got to use my ID

(10:30 PM) me: I drank ur beer

(11:30 PM) me: you’re not coming, are you?

*

There were two rings before he picked up the call.

“Ash, where are you?” You said into the night air and into the phone. Your classmates were inside the bar, waiting for you to sing happy birthday. But there were still five minutes to go and the person that said would be there was nowhere to be found.

“I- I am Ash,” He said before he exploded in giggles, followed by a fading chorus of familiar laughs at the other side of the line.

Then it hit you. He was still at Michael’s. He never left.

“Ashton, are you- are you high?”

Another explosive set of laughter hit you as an answer. You ended the call. The picture you took at the beginning of the year, with Ashton carrying you on his back as you both wink and make peace signs at the camera, mocks you as you try your hardest to be stoic for yourself.

You looked up to the moon and took a deep breath before coming back to the bar, an already perfect fake smile plastered all over your face as your classmates sang happy birthday at the top of their lungs, half of them already drunk. You didn’t know smiling could hurt that much till then.

By the end of the night, you tried your hardest to ignore the random comments that you happened to hear.

“Where’s Ash?” Someone would ask

“I heard he simply didn’t want to come,” Someone else answered. You didn’t know if to believe them.

The next day you woke up with a thousand messages of apologies and a notebook wrapped in wooden paper.

“For all the songs you’re gonna write”

Anyway

* I wait patiently He's gonna notice me It's okay, we're the best of friends

21 years old

To put it simply, L. A was a fucking nightmare.

Nowhere in the world have you seen such hypocrites smiling at each other like they were best friends all their lives. People were getting high in the backyard by the pool; couples cheating on each other in the same house; every up and coming having their realities shatter in front of their eyes as they realize what their dream industry actually is. And all of that is happening inside your own house in Beverly hills. Yes, you left the outbacks of Australia behind to chase the dreams you fought bravely to make come true. And without anyone’s help, you made it.

You went to college to please your mom, but finding your joy after Ashton had left soon after graduating high school was not easy. However, in order to pay some of your debts, you started working at the same bar you and your classmates used to hang out at. Cleaning tables and serving drinks was not as exciting as it sounded, but what really made it worth it was the open mic nights where anyone could come and present a bit of stand-up comedy or original songs to the public. That’s where you found your escape. Quite literally.

Soon, you were discovered, signed, and shipped off to Los Angeles where success has been modest but impressive for someone with such a short career. But dreams are not easy to maintain.

To have a dream in the city of dreamers is to be a fish in an ocean. Not rare and not exceptional either. It was intimidating and scary, all the more doing it all by yourself in a country where no one seemed to be your friend. People here knew of you, but they didn’t know you at all. Not really.

Maybe you don’t know yourself either.

“Y/N!”

Once again, a voice pulled you from your own thoughts and into your party again. From afar you noticed Calum’s wide smile as he headed toward you, pushing through the sea of people.

The only ones you know here in L.A are the ones that got away years before you did and were creating havoc among the younger fans. 5 Seconds of Summer was an absolute hit, and they were barely staying at the same place for more than four weeks straight, but you were thankful anytime they did. They were your friends or at least acquaintances except for Ash. They reminded you of home, and one person, in particular, reminded you that there was more than that to hang on to.

“Cal!” You called, hugging him as soon as he came close “I’m so glad you could make it. I have no idea who any of these people are! Where are the others?”

Calum shrugged “Michael got dragged by someone already. Luke… is complicated”

“And Ash?”

You didn’t want to sound hopeful. You didn’t want to give anything away with the tone of your voice or the way your eyes begged you to look around for him, see if he just got lost among the crowd.

“He said he’d come” Calum said, pretending not to know how you feel “You know how he is. Sometimes he says one thing…”

“To change it at the last minute.” You sighed “I hate that about him”

“It’s Ashton”

“I asked him to come and help me with the recording of some drums at the studio last week, did he tell you?” He shook his head “He said that what I was doing “wasn’t really his thing” so maybe I should just call someone else”

“He said that to you?” Calum said in disbelief.

You nodded “He’s been a real asshole lately. And I did get someone else in the end, but…”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s the principle”

But it was not just that. The Ashton you met at school was not the same Ashton you found as an adult. And yes, people are bound to change and you have changed a lot as well, but looking back it makes you question whether this person made changes to keep themselves in your life or to make themselves a memory of what once was a good old time. And you were scared Ashton could become the latter.

For many years, Ashton was the only one by your side, or at least that’s what you knew of. When he left for London all those years ago, you were happy that he could chase all those dreams he once shared with you in your backyard as little kids. But once you caught on with life and fate decided that it was time to meet again, it was like there were already so many people beside him that you felt out of frame. You were his friend first. But maybe he forgot.

“Ooop, he just texted” Calum chimed in, sipping on his drink “He’s right outside, I told him we’re hiding in the kitchen”

You chuckled as your fingers drummed nervously on top of the counter, trying your hardest not to look at the door. Not yet, don’t let him see you waiting for him. Just one moment more-

“What the fuck?”

Calum’s whisper made your eyebrows turn into a frown as you followed his gaze. Oh, how you wish you didn’t.

Entering your kitchen filled with people was Ashton, a smile so shy and welcoming at the same time, hand in hand with one of the most gorgeous girls you’ve ever seen in your life. Your smile flattered for one second.

“I guess he’s not with Jess anymore…” Muttered Calum. Jess? Who was Jess? And who was this girl if Calum didn’t know?

Your heart grew heavy as the air around you thickened, yet you couldn’t tear your eyes away from them. From afar, Ashton noticed you - or he noticed Calum, you didn’t know - and raised his hand to say hi and kept walking into another room with his new girl following him.

That’s it? Not even a proper hello? This is your house, your party… A sunken feeling enveloped you as you excused yourself to the bathroom, ignoring the pointed look Calum gave you as he let you go without asking questions.

The music was muffled inside the tiled walls. You locked the doors and went to the sink, leaning over it with your hands on either side of the counter. A shaky breath escaped your lips as you counted to ten over and over again, repeating to yourself that you were okay. You were okay, or you would be. You had to be.

As you raised your head, the mirror showed the reflection of a girl whose eyes beat red from tears she refused to shed. You could not be that girl tonight.

So you smiled at your reflection, practicing what muscle memory taught you good girls do when things don’t go their way. You smiled and fixed your hair, and smiled again. It didn’t matter that the image that kept playing inside your head was his hands tangled in hers. It didn’t matter that he didn’t even say hello. This was not about him nor your broken heart. You had to keep going so you had to smile. It’s not the first time it happened, you should be used to it by now.

One last deep breath and you opened the door, going back to the party. But as you made your way back into the kitchen, you bumped into someone going in the opposite direction.

“Woah! Hey, Y/N!” He said, smiling as he hugged you like he used to do.

For a moment you let yourself forget where you were and be hugged by him, letting the smell of his cologne be tattooed somewhere in your brain.

“Hi, Ash”

“How- hey, are you crying?”

“What?” You blinked a couple of times “Oh, no! One eyelash fell into my eye and I had to get it out, you know how that makes me-”

“Yeah, you get weirded out by eyes” He cringed.

An awkward silence set between the two of you, not knowing what to say now that is just the two of them. But you… Oh, you could say so much, you just didn’t know where to start. You wanted to ask about the tour, how it went and what was his favorite place to visit. You were dying to mention their new songs and how they made you feel. You wanted to ask about his family, how is Anne-Marie? Is Harry doing well in school? Has Lauren started high school yet and how does she like it? Do they still live in the same house you grew up with? Do they know the memories you shared? Do they even remember you?

Does Ash?

But standing in front of him you felt as if you had no right to ask those questions anymore. Ashton was not looking at you anymore, but at his phone, even when you were right there. Does he not have any curiosity toward you as much as you have about him? Does he not care?

You used to be best friends. You still were, right?

Yet, those questions were never asked as you just turned and kept walking. And when you looked back you noticed that Ashton hadn’t moved, hadn't noticed you were gone.

And if while you were looking you noticed some freshly made hickeys on the back of his neck, then you decided to ignore that as well.

(3:07 PM) me: saw two kids in a backyard playing mermaids with a sprinkler today. we never had that idea before (6:20 PM) ash 😜: i would've never consented to mermaids, mind you (6:30 PM) me: are you sure? (6:32 PM) ash 😜: nah, i would end up with a tail in the end (6:40 PM) me: do you miss it?

* From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I waited ages to see you there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that you never cared

25 years old

“Why am I not surprised?” Ashton laughed.

You didn’t notice his presence until he was standing in between you and the firepit in the backyard. He was wearing a shirt and a trenchcoat, lightly mocking your shivering figure as you sat outside on the last night of 2019.

“I don’t like parties” You answered.

“You never did,” Ashton said, sitting next to you “But that doesn’t give you the right to catch hypothermia”

“We live in L.A”

“Still,”

“I’m practicing”

“For what?” Ashton chuckled.

“Scotland,” You said, turning to look at him.

“Scotland? You’re gonna visit someone there, or?” He smiled, nervously.

“I’m moving there”

Ashton laughed loudly, “Bullshit!”

But you didn’t laugh along with him. Instead, you looked at him as the penny dropped and then moved your gaze to the fire again, finding comfort in the chaos. The only constant thing in your life.

Ashton blinked at you, elbowing you “You’re bullshiting me, Y/N”

You didn’t move, instead, you answered him in a monotone voice “Why would I?”

“What the fuck are you going to do in Scotland?!”

“The same, I guess?” You shrugged “I bought a house with a studio, my label has a branch there, I don’t do much touring so-”

“Were you going to tell me?!”

At this, you turn to him, almost as if to ask if he was serious.

“It’s not funny, Ash”

“The fuck is not! Of course not!” He shouted, getting up from his seat. The frown on his face deepened “You’re fucking moving away and you didn’t tell me?!”

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because we’re friends!”

At this, you couldn’t help but laugh. Like, actually, wholeheartedly laugh. Tears were at the corners of your eyes by the end of the laughing fit, even more so when you saw Ashton’s confused face standing in front of you.

Once you composed yourself, you shook your head.

“You can’t be serious right now”

“Y/N-”

“Honestly, Ashton. This- this is not funny, at all” You said, smile still on your face but your eyes getting redder as the tears gathered “You can’t- You can’t just come around every two years or so with a conversation and then yell at me and say that we’re friends as if you know what that means. No. Not with me, I- I won’t let it happen anymore”

You shook your head as a chuckle escaped your lips. “Ashton, tell me, right now. What’s the name of my cat?” He parted his lips but no words came out “What’s the name of my latest single?” Again, no answer “What’s the career I studied in uni before I came to the states?” By now, Ashton was looking down in shame “Ash, when is my birthday?”

That last answer broke your heart completely. You were hoping, wishing that at least that one he would get right. But his silence only confirmed what your heart knew. You closed your eyes as the tears finally slid down your cheeks, tired of being kept hidden all those years.

“Y/N-”

“No,” You raised your hand to stop him from saying anything else, “If it’s an apology I don’t want to hear it because it’s a little too late for that. Ashton, you have no idea what is like to have no one in your corner, and I pray that you never get to experience that. But all my life- all my life I’ve been waiting to be someone’s priority and when I finally put myself first, you come and try to berate me for it. I hate L.A. I had since the moment I came here. You had Calum, Luke and Michael, and countless other people to make you feel welcomed! but me? I had no one!”

All the feelings that were silenced over the years came crashing through. Unfiltered and uncensored. Like the fire in front of you, ready to spread out.

“And I tried to fit in. When I invited you and the guys and all of your friends, I wanted to make you feel that maybe I can still be part of this life as well! But they aren’t my friends, they’re yours. And you made no effort to even include me in your life as if I was someone that you tolerated from the past that’s long dead and gone. You have my memories, Ash. You have the same scars that I do, the same laughs, and the same tears from when we were kids till we were out of high school. We shared the same dreams and even though I knew you would make them more easily I prayed to god to take me where you would go because I knew that my place was with you, it didn’t matter where or how. I just wanted to be with my best friend, even if with time my best friend didn’t want to be my best friend anymore”

“Y/N,” His voice was small, fragile “That’s not true”

“Don’t lie!” You yelled through the tears “You’re being mean, Ash! You left me behind. You left me! And I’m still here, I was always here and you couldn’t see me, or you didn’t want to see me. You didn’t care! Could you look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t know everything that was going on when we were kids?”

Ashton tried to keep his gaze up with yours but couldn’t, quickly looking away with guilt. You pressed your lips in a thin line as you nodded.

“I loved you, so so much. And I hate you for making me feel so unloved, so small and unimportant. I don’t think I can shake this now, and I don’t know if I can forgive you for making me hate myself this much when I did nothing to you”

You knew your words hurt him, but there was nothing you could say to take them back. You didn’t want to take them back.

You wiped your tears with the back of your hand and started walking back to the party, ready to ask an uber to drive you home.

Ashton didn’t follow, you knew he wouldn’t. And for the first time in years, you were glad he didn’t.

* (05:25 AM) Ashton Irwin: can we talk, please?

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* ‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned Everything you lose is a step you take So make the friendship bracelets Take the moment and taste it You've got no reason to be afraid

28 years old

“You’re on your own kid, you always have been” You sang the last part of the acoustic set of your last album as the crowd went wild. You smiled at the small room, just a small acoustic session to start off the new era of songs about growth and finding yourself again after years of learning how to heal.

“There are many things in life that leave scars, things that we automatically assume about ourselves like muscle memory,” You said into the mic “For years we look for who to blame, and most of the time we carry that blame within ourselves and make ourselves believe that we are not worthy of beautiful things in the world. But I learned that even though these wounds and scars are mine, they don't own me as a person, they do not define me nor who I will become later in life. None of us are less deserving of love or the beautiful things in life just because we’ve struggled. And I-”

The words are stuck inside your throat for a moment, just a moment as your eyes make contact with the person standing in the corner of the room.

His arms are crossed over his chest, his smile is timid and a bit scared. But his eyes, although mature, kept that hazel glow that you’ve recognized anywhere. Even when years have passed.

“I will make my best to remind you how beautiful you all are” * * Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @hoodharlow @littledrummeraussie @wastelandcth @bubblegum183 @irwin-fletcher-ash @wiiildflowerrr @in-a-world-of-fandoms @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @in-superbloom @sadcupofcoffee @personalmuyverypersonal @vtte @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @weasleytwinscumslut @fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @hfkait @savagejane1 @youneedtocalumdown @pvnkcloud @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore@alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththatt @cncoangelsss @whywontyoulovemecami @theimpossiblehologramtree @perriexed @abiancajg @rewmuslupin @icelily13 @bookthingz @lendeluxe