#enjoy this while I actually draw something properly lol

[gratefulcheeses]

Happy pride month everyone

[etheries1015]

Heheha!!! Could I request about being Lilia Vanrouge's personal "stress ball"? (Aka relieve of stress via sex)

And he just LOVES degrading you and doing stuff to make you cry and beg?

Imagine if he like, makes you go on his cock while he's lying down, and he just orders you to pleasure him because he's too lazy too (what a lie) and he will randomly snap his hips at random times up just to see your reaction. Then it would go to full-blown fucking after a while, but y'know, you get it

Fingering you while you're blindfolded and you have to guess which finger he's using. Get it wrong, and you don't get to cum! But he lies, and makes you beg to cum. Fucks you into tomorrow, ehe!

Etc, etc...

Then imagine that after the war, he realises that he actually likes you! Confession? Fluff? And more smut? Lol my brain is now empty, pls expand.

AHHHHHHHHHH I READ THIS A COUPLE TIMES OVER BECAUSE IT'S SO GOOD??? moister than an oyster over here eheheheheh I wrote something pretty similar about this concept of Lilia taking home a human sex toy, it is very short and not in-depth but you can take a read of it -> HERE hehehe

This might be a little dark, so warning you... 18+ below with some dark themes, a bit of non-con sprinkled in there. Rough fucking, Lilia a little mean :[ but he turns out pretty soft hearted after it all <3 mildly rushed, hopefully you still enjoy <3

But I LOVE to imagine the fact that it starts out as just a fling- a way for him to let out his anger and frustrations through pleasurable means. To see you cry out as he continues to thrust into you- the chains on your hands making your wrists become sore. You kind of liked this, though, being tied up and used as the Generals release. Something about it was enticing to you, despite the toll it sometimes takes upon your body.

He lets you free of course, but he loves the way you tighten around him and how much more warm you feel when you're chained up. There's times when he comes back utterly exhausted from the days endeavors, sitting down with his head tilted back and his hands covering his eyes, legs spreading. His gaze flickers down to your needy body, before he unzips his pants pulling out his cock. Soft at first, before he tells you to entertain him enough to get him hard.

If you weren't able to properly arouse him- you'd be punished for it either later or in that moment. Depends how "tired" he is.

"You understand I've had a long day, don't you, my little bat? You can't even get me hard all by yourself. I guess I have to do all of the work, don't I?" He grabs a fist full of your hair, pushing your head into the pillow before roughly grabbing you by the hips and pulling your ass to meet his pelvis. He grinds into you before tearing your pants, your feeble whines falling upon deaf ears as he pumps his cock a time or two before entering your hole painfully slow. Now you're whining for a different reason- Lilia chuckling at such neediness. All at once he suddenly snaps his hips against your ass, leaving marks upon the back of your neck almost drawing blood. Your punishment, he says.

Over time, you felt as if Lilia was getting "bored" of you. He was coming home later than usual and didn't call upon your services as often. But this was far from the truth. He started to find himself...interested in you. Once he walked in on you indulging in your hobby, simply existing. You were so beautiful in that moment in his eyes- the way you were focusing on your task, now allowing the outside world to interfere with your happiness in that moment. Being so used to seeing hatred and bloodshed, Lilia almost forgot what it was like to be happy. He began to realize that you were indeed more than just a toy to be used at his disposal, and with this slight change of heart, he began to treat you differently.

Coming closer to the end of the war, instead of keeping you up all night to have his way with you, it would be spent asking you questions and talking about what life would be like after the war. Your hopes and dreams, your hobbies, your future plans. He began to bring you heartier food and random trinkets he felt would suite your interests, even bringing you a peony at some point, not without a deep blush and quickly disappearing into thin air almost as if to avoid your reaction. He was becoming gentler, and you weren't sure how to feel about it. Was it a trap? Was he getting your hopes up to take you by surprise? After all, you spent so long thinking you had not much worth besides being used for his sick and twisted pleasure.

Once the war was officially declared as over, you were his first visit. The first on his mind in which he wanted to share this moment, running swiftly to the cottage in which you took shelter in. You were standing in front of the garden with a smile on your face as he came back to you.

During that period in which he began to treat you differently, you had also become much more light hearted and comfortable around the fae. Perhaps a mistake you often wondered about, yet you continued on with reckless abandon nonetheless. "Lilia! It's finally over! I'm so proud-" You were cut off as he ran to you and immediately smashed his lips against yours. He had never kissed you so gently yet so passionately at the same time- his hands snaking around your body and pulling you close, almost like...a hug. Your heart dropped for a moment- thinking perhaps this was the time in which he decided to ravage you. When the war was over and worries were off his mind- he could have his way with you once again. How twisted.

"...Shall I go get my chains?" He was startled at this, pulling away and looking you in the eyes with a hint of sadness and guilt. He shook his head, pressing his forehead against yours with his hands trembling as he cupped your cheeks, peering into your eyes.

"No more chains," He muttered, "I thought I made it clear that you are not worth your body to me anymore. I apologize if I did not make that clear, my little bat." The nickname he had chosen for you sounded much softer, much more kind, and in the most loving tone, unlike the degradation you were subjected to. You bit your bottom lip as if to hide a giddy smile, Lilia taking notice of this and pressing a kiss against your forehead. The war was over, and Lilia had finally confessed his feelings for you.

The first time you two have sex, he asked permission.

"Can we...I..." He was stuttering over his words. Lilia was so used to taking what he wanted from you that it felt almost weird and awkward to ask for permission- but he promised to do it right.

"I would like to make love with you."

This time, he was gentle. Taking his time with you. He gently lay your back against the bed and propped your legs over his shoulders, bending over to pepper kisses around your face and love marks on your chest. He asked you if you were alright, and was certain to prep you before entering. Your fingers interlocked with each other, his thrusts were short and intimate yet reached the deepest parts of you. This time, it was for your pleasure- not just his own for the taking. With every thrust and every whispered "I love you's" came with praise you were unfamiliar with. This wasn't the same general who simply used you to fill to the brim and bark orders at, this was someone who wanted you to feel the love with every stroke of his hips and dulcet words that left his once fiery mouth.

it's truly a wonder how much people can change.

( @mellowwillowy I think you'd enjoy this one, pookie)

[libraryofgage]

Addams Family Steddie AU Part 3

Part One | Part Two

To preface, a bitch is sick rn so if you see any typos, no you didn't lol

"Robin, this is serious."

Steve can perfectly see Robin rolling her eyes through the phone as she says, "Oh, right, I'm so sorry your fiance-to-be is the perfect boyfriend who takes you on wonderful dates and romances you every single second you're together."

"I'm starting to think you're jealous."

"I'd only be jealous if Eddie had tits."

"He'd probably get some if I asked."

In the silence that follows, Steve can imagine Robin's scrunched face: her crinkled nose and curled lips and generally disgusted eyebrow furrow. He counts down from six in his head and then mouths along as Robin says, "I'd hang up if I weren't so invested in your love life."

"For someone so invested, you're not helping."

He hears a put-upon sigh through the speaker and returns it with a sigh of his own. Steve gives up on sitting properly and collapses back onto his bed, staring at the unmoving ceiling fan Hulyet is currently hanging from to nap.

"Fine, fine, what's the actual problem again?" Robin asks, her question followed by the sound of her shutting a book (one of her science textbooks based on the sound it makes when closing) so she can give Steve her full attention.

"Eddie is always planning our dates, and they're always really good, right? So I want to plan a date in return, but I have no clue how to plan something we'll both equally enjoy. In fact, I have no clue how Eddie plans our dates in the first place."

"Just start with something he likes and try to find something you'll like in it."

"Okay, say it again, but pretend I'm five."

Robin sighs again, and Steve hears the creaking of her bed as she collapses onto it. "Okay, the last date he planned, it was a hockey game, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, you like sports. Hockey is an obvious jump from there, but was Eddie also having fun at the game?"

Steve hums, reviewing their date from the week before. He hadn't expected Eddie to pull out hockey tickets, but he'd looked forward to it nonetheless. The game itself was fun, and the rink was cold enough that Steve had been able to scoot closer to Eddie and complain about being chilly.

Of course, Eddie's immediate response was to pull out a lighter, open it, and flick a flame to life while asking, "How big of a fire do you want, Stevie?"

For a brief moment, Steve had considered the question. But then he'd realized a fire would disrupt the hockey game, so they probably shouldn't start one.

After grabbing the lighter and stuffing it into his own pocket, Steve leaned closer and whispered, "Wouldn't you rather put your arm around me?" Eddie had lit up, and his smile was wide enough to make Steve feel blinded as he wrapped an arm around Steve's waist and pulled him closer.

It had been wonderful and romantic, right up until both of them got way too into the game and completely forgot about cuddling in favor of shouting at the players to hit harder and actually draw some blood to get the puck.

Steve smiles a little at the memory. "Yeah, he enjoyed the violence."

"Well, we all enjoy seeing buff people get a little bloody," Robin says, and Steve can see the way she's nodding like a wise man. "Anyway, he probably knew he'd enjoy the whole violence part of the sport. So, follow that formula."

"What formula are you seeing here?"

"Thing fiance-to-be likes plus a small part of it you could probably enjoy equals romance. If that's too hard, just get him a gift and plan the date around that."

Well, it sounds easy when she says it like that. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because I'm the genius here, obviously. Now go plan a date so you can tell me all about it later. And I expect details, Steven. Sordid details. If I'm not quivering in my bodice, what's the fucking point."

"You don't even have a bodice. And my name isn't Steven."

"I'll get one, and your name is whatever's comedically appropriate."

"I found a good website for bodices and corsets, actually. I can send it to you."

"What are you doing on that website, Steve?" Robin asks, her voice light and eager.

Steve smirks, pulling the phone away from his ear and saying, "Wouldn't you like to know," before quickly hanging up. The phone stays silent for three whole seconds before Robin immediately calls back, but Steve is too busy laughing to actually pick up.

Part of why the Munsons moved to Steve's neighborhood is the cemetery within walking distance. The cemetery is at the very back of the neighborhood, hidden from people who don't actually live there. The front of the cemetery is perfectly presentable. The gravestones are clean and new, and flowers decorate most graves while others hold pebbles and stones of various sizes and colors.

The back of the cemetery, however, is a Munson paradise. The grass gives way to brown, under-watered weeds and dirt, the faded gravestones are covered in moss and plants climbing them, and the trees are perpetually leafless and spindly to create the perfect horror movie atmosphere. It was like that even before the Munsons moved to the neighborhood, but Steve doesn't actually know why.

The back of the cemetery is where Steve leads Eddie, occasionally looking back to make sure the blindfold covering Eddie's eyes is still in place. "You know, I was expecting more than walking when you pulled out the blindfold," Eddie says, squeezing Steve's hand.

"We're almost there," Steve promises, looking around them until he spots the picnic blanket and pillows he'd laid down earlier in front of a blank gravestone. There's a small projector on the edge of the blanket, facing the wall of a mausoleum, with a DVD player connected to it.

Steve stops at the edge of the blanket, takes a deep breath, and moves to stand in front of Eddie. "Okay," he says, reaching up and carefully pulling off the blindfold.

When it comes off, Eddie looks straight at Steve, not sparing a glance at the set-up behind him. "Are you the surprise?" he asks, sliding his hands around Steve's hips and pulling him closer.

"I'm not much of a surprise," Steve points out.

"You're the best gift I could ask for," Eddie says, sealing the words with a kiss that would be too easy for Steve to get lost in.

And he almost does, but he pulls away before Eddie's tongue can get too far into his mouth. "No, wait, you haven't seen the actual surprise," he mumbles, putting a few inches between them and gesturing to the picnic blanket.

Eddie's eyes light up, and he pulls Steve to the blanket. He sits against the headstone and tugs Steve down next to him. "Movie date in a graveyard? Very romantic, sweetheart," Eddie says, leaning close and kissing Steve's jaw.

"Well, that's not the whole surprise," Steve replies, leaning his head on Eddie's shoulder. He hears a quiet hum from above him and adds, "This is our spot."

"What? Like a make-out spot? We gonna sneak out in the middle of the night to make out right here twice a week?"

"Only twice?" Steve asks, his voice teasing as he tilts his head back to see Eddie smile. He doesn't give Eddie the chance to answer, though. Instead, he takes Eddie's hand and plays with his engaged-to-be-engaged ring. "I mean, this is our spot. We're leaning on our gravestone."

A few seconds pass before Eddie seems to actually process the words. When he does, he straightens up, tugging Steve away from the gravestone with him so he can see it. "Is this...a couple's plot?" he asks, his eyes wide as he looks from the stone to Steve.

Steve flushes, heat rising in his cheeks as he looks away. He takes a deep breath, deciding to just verbalize his thought process when he'd bought the plot. "I figured, well, we wouldn't want to be apart even in death. So we'll be buried together, you know? Our corpses will be embracing as we rot for eternity, becoming skeletons and dust that will only know each other."

The words are followed by silence, making Steve wonder if he somehow fucked up with his gift. He braces himself and glances up at Eddie to ask if he doesn't like it only to be pushed back on the blanket. Steve blinks, his brain barely catching up as Eddie kisses him. This is, by far, the most desperate kiss Steve has ever received from Eddie. It's a kiss that's practically begging Steve to give Eddie permission to swallow him whole, tuck him securely into the marrow of his bones, and hold him there so they'll never be apart.

Steve is a little confused, but he's far more interested in kissing back, sliding his fingers into Eddie's hair and tugging playfully as he bites Eddie's tongue. A rough growl in response sends shivers down Steve's spine, goosebumps spreading across his arms as Eddie pushes his hands under Steve's shirt.

Surprisingly warm fingers trail across Steve's abdomen before Eddie's hands settle on his hips, his pinkies teasingly pushing past the waistband of his jeans. Steve sighs softly, relaxing at the familiar sensation as he hooks one of his legs over Eddie's waist, pulling him close until their hips and chests are flush against each other.

Eddie grins against Steve's lips, his left hand trailing down Steve's waist to rest on his thigh, holding it in place as he teasingly grinds their hips together. Steve jolts, a surprised, quiet moan escaping him as his hands start to tremble with adrenaline and...well, sheer horniness if he's being honest.

"Please tell me we can fuck on our future grave," Eddie says, his voice low and husky as he speaks against Steve's lips.

Steve groans, fully agreeable to the idea only to realize two very important things. One, he doesn't have any lube, and two, he was actually looking forward to watching movies with Eddie, which wouldn't really happen if they got too distracted. Plus, you know, the whole sex in public thing, but that's not as big of a deal. Who's going to be visiting the cemetery on a Wednesday?

But Steve doesn't want to completely dash Eddie's hopes and the sheer joy in his eyes at the idea, so he presses another kiss to his lips and promises, "Later, Eddie."

Despite his disappointed expression, Eddie doesn't argue. He just sits up, pulling Steve with him so he stays in his lap. "I'll hold you to that, sweetheart," he whispers, kissing down Steve's neck until he reaches the point where it meets his shoulder. He bites down there, causing Steve to inhale sharply as he licks and sucks a hickey onto his skin.

Steve shakily exhales, biting his bottom lip to keep himself grounded. When it feels like Eddie is about to start on another hickey, Steve uses his grip on his hair to pull him back. "Stevie," Eddie breathes, his eyes dark as he looks up at him, "you know what pulling does to me."

Steve snorts, kisses his cheek, and climbs off his lap. "Keep it in your pants for now, babe. I actually want to get to the other part of this date," he says, moving over to the projector.

"And what's that?" Eddie asks.

"Classic monster movies," Steve says, grinning at the excited gasp that comes from Eddie as he turns on the projector. Once it boots up, the mausoleum wall shows the opening menu for a Monster Movie Collection DVD. Steve puts on Frankenstein, making sure the movie actually starts and the opening credits begin rolling before climbing back into Eddie's lap.

"I love you so fucking much," Eddie says, wrapping his arms around Steve's waist and hugging him close as he rests his chin on Steve's shoulder.

Steve grins, leaning back against him and idly playing with one of the rings on Eddie's fingers. "I love you, too. Now shut up and watch the movie. No more making out until at least this one is over."

"Yes, sir."

Steve can't help a soft laugh. He takes Eddie's hand, raises it to his lips, and playfully bites his palm before lacing their fingers together and focusing on the movie.

Tag List: @estrellami-1, @justforthedead89, @starman-jpg, @abstractnaturaldisaster, @sugartin, @ashwagandalf, @xjessicafaithx, If anyone else wants to be tagged in potential future parts, just let me know!

[constantcrisis19]

Home

Simon "Ghost" Riley x GN S/O

AN: I don't normally write smut, but things do get a little heated in this particular fic, so... enjoy the treat I guess, lol. Though, that being said, I can't say that adding smut is going to be something that I’ll do often, but on the off-chance that it does, I'll be sure to tag properly just to make sure that I don't catch anyone off guard. Thanks!

Word Count: 1,544

Main Page

You had just started on wiping the dust off of the kitchen countertops when you heard the shrill squeak of the front door opening, intentionally left unoiled to act as an alert for uninvited visitors. You and Ghost had installed a proper security system of course, but it didn’t hurt to do things the old fashioned way either.��

The flat that the two of you stayed at while on leave was modest, rented mostly because there was a fire escape outside the living room window and another window had a good view of the entrance to the building.

So Ghost would often occupy himself by watching the door when he couldn’t manage to sleep, tormented by memories of things he wouldn’t speak of. But he didn’t keep pieces of his past from you out of distrust. 

He refrained because, by the time he’d finished telling you about how he’d been betrayed by his CO and was tortured for months as a result, you were in tears at the pain and suffering that the love of your life had endured, despite your best attempts to be strong and keep the tears at bay as you listened.

Though, it seemed that Ghost didn’t really mind that you were crying instead of being the solid support that he deserved and could lean on while recounting something so horrible, the man simply pulling you into his arms and sitting down right there on the floor while holding you close.

He never brought it up again and you were hesitant to ask if he wanted to talk about it since you had reacted so poorly to just one of the many horrors that he had survived, especially for a soldier that was chosen to be on the most elite task forces that the British military had to offer. 

In your defense, you had been on leave -in this very flat, actually- when that disaster of a conversation happened, miles away from work and allowed to be human for a few weeks. So you had made no attempt at suppressing the onslaught of emotions that had torn through you like a bullet, leaving a gaping mess of grief in its wake.

You were dragged out of your somber reminiscing when your ears picked up on the crinkle of weighted grocery bags as they were set onto the small kitchen table for two, followed by the nearly inaudible tap of Ghost’s worn black combat boots drawing closer to your turned back. 

You hadn’t even realized that you’d stopped cleaning -just blankly staring down at the damp rag being strangled in your grip- until one of Ghost’s hands tentatively settled on your back, his warm touch grounding.

“Solid, love?” He asked, his pleasantly raspy voice having dropped to a low timbre that was gentle and reassuring all at once.

“Yeah, sorry. Got lost in my head for a minute.” You sighed, leaning into the contact with a slow inhale, your attempt at controlled breathing rendered useless when your exhale turned into a soft huff of laughter as soon as you felt Ghost press his scarred lips to the back of your neck in a fleeting kiss that made your chest ache with affection.

You found yourself awfully tempted to turn around and kiss that reverent mouth until neither of you could think of anything beyond finding the bed but, before you got the chance to act on that particular desire, the hand that was on your back suddenly slid down to your hip and pulled you backward as he simultaneously stepped forward in order to crowd up behind you, his body a solid wall of muscle.

"You're a menace, Simon. I never get anything done when we're on leave because you try to get into my pants every five minutes." You laughed good-naturedly, your hands reaching behind you to grip the back of his thighs, just under his deliciously round ass.

“Don’t know what you’re on about. I’m just comforting you, you’re the one copping a feel.” Ghost retorted dryly, though there was a noticeable heat to his tone now, his short stubble scratching against your skin as he nuzzled the back of your neck.

“You don’t seriously expect me to believe that, do you? I can feel your dick begging for attention, Simon.” You deadpanned, your brow raising as you leveled an unimpressed look at the cabinets directly in front of you, knowing full well that Simon would know exactly what expression was on your face despite not being able to see it.

Lord knew that he had gotten that exact same look from you enough times to have it memorized. 

“Well don’t start neglecting it now.” Ghost grunted with a particularly dirty grind of his hips and you tightened the grip that you had around the back of his thigh, heat pooling in your gut as your lips parted on a silent gasp. 

You could feel Ghost smile against the sensitive skin behind your ear -the smug bastard- and just for his cheeky attitude, you decided to be petty and play hard to get. You allowed Simon to do as he wished for another minute or two before turning in Simon’s grip in order to face the man, who had immediately loosened his hold the moment that you began to move.

“Get off me, you slag. I have to finish cleaning the kitchen before we can cook.” You stated as you met his questioning gaze, the man staring at you blankly for a moment as he processed your words, his eyes darkening when he finally caught onto your scheme.

“Slag? Must be rubbing off on you.” Ghost said with a low chuckle that never failed to send a bolt of pleasure down your spine and, going by the amused twinkle in Simon’s eye, he knew exactly what his voice did to you and was shamelessly using it to his advantage. 

You resisted the urge to squirm under his calculating gaze, since that would mean losing this little game that the two of you were playing, as the man’s fingers teasingly brushed over the slip of skin visible where the hem of your shirt came untucked from your jeans.

“Not yet, you’re not.” You mused with a wicked grin as your hand darted down to catch his wrist before his fingers could slip up under your shirt. You traced the delicate blue lines crisscrossing under the thin, pale skin of his inner wrist with your thumb, your smile reaching shit-eating levels when Simon’s breathing visibly became more labored, his pupils blown wide as he stared at you like you were the sole object of his desire.

“Fuckin’ hell.” Ghost murmured breathlessly, the fingers of his free hand twitching like he wanted to grab you and pin you up against the nearest flat surface, and you didn’t bother repressing the smug grin that spread across your lips as you watched every individual thought that went through his head, every sinful things that he wanted to do to you clearly advertised on his maskless face. 

Simon really wasn’t as hard to read as he wanted people to believe, he was actually quite easy once the mask was off. So while Simon greatly enjoyed when you were rough with him, easily following your lead as you manhandled the man where you wanted him with a firm grip, more tender and reverent contact always had more of an effect on him.

“You love it, you insatiable bastard.” You said with a laugh, Simon leaning forward in order to rest his forehead against yours and you didn’t hesitate to curl an encouraging hand around the back of his neck, letting him have a moment to collect himself since you felt pretty bad for teasing him when you weren’t able to follow through right away.

“Yeah.” Simon admitted quietly, his tone openly affectionate as he tilted his head in order to draw you into a kiss. Words were no longer necessary since the press of his lips told you everything you already knew, the heat that had been bubbling up between the two of you easing as the intense bout of lust that came from your mutual flirting transitioned into something softer, slower.

You were the first to break the kiss when the lack of oxygen made your lungs burn, though you didn’t go far, choosing to instead linger in his personal space. Your nose brushed against his as you basked in the euphoria that came with being with Simon, each of your breaths mingling with his in the small space between the two of you, creating a sort of peaceful bubble where only the two of you existed.

“Didn’t you have some pressing matter to attend to?” Simon’s voice pierced through the quiet and you startled, flinching a bit as you sobered from the trance you had been in, before the words registered and you leaned away in order to scowl at your grinning husband.

“Very funny, Simon.” You said with a fond roll of your eyes, giving his solid chest a friendly pat before finally prying yourself out of his grasp, turning on your heel and making your way back to the kitchen in order to finish what you’d been doing before you got distracted.

_

Home

A place where I can go

To take this off my shoulders

Someone take me home

Home - Bebe Rexha, Machine Gun Kelly, and X Ambassadors

[tokosparrow]

Could you do max Fischer headcannons of him and a gn reader in a relationship (hope this makes sense first time requesting :3)

a/n: OMGOMGOMG first time actually getting a max fischer request and i’m pretty excited (i’ve never seen any other content with him so i’m happy :3) plus sorry if it may seem hes a bit ooc, i kinda don’t know how to properly characterize him just yet >.<

> you two possibly met at one of the many clubs that max either is the head or founder of, which was pretty surprising to you but yet very impressing.

> and you maybe got his attention by sharing the same couple interests that he happens to be really interested, so your friendship with him kinda just happened.

> soon max seems to find himself more interested in you and your hobbies than he would his other friends at rushmore.

> then soon….BAM

> max realizes he has a big rising crush on you, he’s a little worried at first but he soon gotten over it when he’s also realizes he enjoys just being around you and talking to you as much as he can.

> like he was with miss cross in the movie, he’s very VERY much smitten with you.

> the moment you mutter something you enjoy deeply, he’s immediately on his way to imply it to the school in some way, shape or form.

“i actually really enjoy art museums :)”

“……”

“i’ll be right back, give me a moment please”

> soon he has all art classes go on weekly mandatory trips to art museums to study in after many convincing arguments how it’ll help students learn better.

> and when max actually comes around to actually confessing, he writes you a letter, giving it to you in a neatly put together envelope with little drawings and hearts that he drew (how sweet of him <333)

> let’s just hope you could understand the french writing he sparkled in the confession here and there, he just wants to be as romantic as he can <333

> now let’s get to the ACTUAL relationship headcannons LOL

> like i said before, max is VERY much smitten with you, like either getting you a small bouquet of your favorite flowers or leaving sweet hand written notes in your locker expressing how much he loved you.

> one time he even went up to your window while it was raining because supposedly he was caught in the rain while getting home and he was close to your house already (he just missed you, that’s all <3)

> he soon stayed at your house for the rest of the night since it was getting late and you didn’t him going home in the heavy rain.

> max seems like someone to really enjoy PDA so expect some hand holding and some kisses on your hand as he walks you home or just out in public <333

> he’s just such a showoff so he always brings up something good about you at any second of the day.

“did you know my partner is an amazing writer <3?”

“yes max, you’ve said this many times…”

“well you’re in to learn many more things about them from ME >:)”

> max even has a couple printed out pictures of you that he likes to keep around his room and even a picture of the both of you in his pocket that he carries everywhere since he says it gives him a bit of luck (he got a D on a test once when carrying the picture and swore it gave him luck)

> he even shared his first kiss with you, it was a bit unexpected for him since it felt like a normal day with you to him until you randomly kissed him.

“oh wow….i didn’t expect that all…wanna do it again :>?”

“you’re so silly <333”

> since then, he always finds an excuse to kiss you, he loves you a bunch <333

[ryuichirou]

oh oh i know you said you might not get to every obscure kink ask, but i wanted to throw my hat in the ring with opinions on sleep kink? not necessarily somnophilia but just like...watching their partners sleep, maybe listening to them sleeptalk/snore, play with their hands and faces without them waking up, that sort of thing? ><

Anon! We never address it properly and I haven’t drawn it yet I think, but we actually really don’t mind somno theme and sleep kink… I think we talk about every now and then, mostly in relation to Silver (duh), but this is the first time I’m writing a proper hc list about it.

For some reason at first all of my thoughts were kind of innocent, but I tried to keep it kinky~ I hope you enjoy it.

As mentioned, only talking about the ones I think would have this kink to some degree. Although if you really think about it, it’s not impossible to imagine a scenario for all of these freaks…

I wouldn’t say that Ace has this kink necessarily, but since he feels like the type to want to prank Deuce while he’s sleeping but end up just staring at his peaceful sleepy face for much longer than he anticipated. He thought he’d draw a penis on his cheek and take an embarrassing picture… But for some reason he just put a finger in his mouth instead and started thinking very deeply. It felt warm, and Deuce’s breathing was very quiet and gentle. Anyways, at some point Deuce made a quiet sound, which made Ace kind of flustered, so quickly jumped back on his own bed and went to sleep.

Trey is an interesting one. First of all, he is into anything Riddle-related, so of course if he sees Riddle sleeping in an armchair or a sofa, he’ll sit near him and play with his hair and hands and caress his face for sure. Honestly, this might become a habit for him, since those would be the only moments when he allows himself to get more physical with Riddle without actually risking it… god, imagine thinking that adding sleeping potion to Riddle’s tea and then touching him is less risky than just straight-up touching him. Trey isn’t okay lol But with this way of thinking he might actually take things pretty far. At some point he’ll just develop somno kink in himself and start to enjoy touching a sleeping body in a sexual way. Of course, he might also try it on other people as well before he does it to Riddle. Just to be sure that everything goes well~

Ruggie isn’t necessarily into it, but he does it sometimes. Sometimes Leona falls asleep, sometimes Leona pretends to fall asleep, and at first it left Ruggie all confused, but nowadays he knows that it just means that he has to either fuck him harder… or try to be sneaky about it, depending on whatever it is that is on Leona’s mind lol But every now and then he sees Leona “sleeping” in a very provocative and convenient pose, making it very easy for Ruggie to just place himself near him and snuggle closely to his butt. There was one time when Leona was legitimately asleep and got surprised when he woke up to Ruggie having sex with him lol

Jade is kind of into it. He would enjoy listening and even recording whatever his partner is saying while he’s asleep, that’s for sure. He’ll use this info to tease him later~ But in a sexual way, I think just touching someone while he’s asleep wouldn’t be enough for Jade… Experimenting with mushrooms to see how it affects his victim’s partner’s sleeping behavior – yes, that sounds more arousing. He wants something unpredictable and interesting!

Floyd is into anything  and nothing at the same time. I’m mentioning him just to say that I can easily picture him touching and playing with someone while that person is asleep (especially if it’s someone cute that he really likes), but he would probably get bored faster than Jade. But it’s all good, because he would really enjoy the moment when his lover wakes up all shocked and starts resisting or just flailing helplessly~

You know, I think on some level Jamil also would. It’s not super likely, I’d even say it’s highly unlikely, but it’s also not completely impossible to imagine… Maybe I am too influenced by doujins. Maybe this is wishful thinking lol But I can kind of picture him crawling on top of sleeping Kalim to look at him. Of course, his feelings are still pretty conflicted, so at first it would be just him wanting to reflect a little without hearing Kalim’s annoying voice, but with Jamil’s tendencies towards self-punishment, this habit could somehow grow into a kink. Would he be touching himself, touching Kalim or fucking himself with Kalim’s sleeping body? Who knows.

Rook – um, yes? Absolutely? Like many other kinks in this world, Rook practices this one lol To him, it’s everywhere: whenever he sees a sleeping boy, he looks at his sleeping face. He always plays with his hair, touches his lips, gently rubs his cheeks and nose. He always undresses him very slowly and touches very subtly – oh no he is probably a professional at being so subtle that the sleeping one wouldn’t notice himself getting undressed and touched until it’s too late. Rook loves the smell of a sleeping body, the sounds, the frowning brows when someone is dreaming of something bad, the saliva running down the cheek, the helplessness. He is the one to have sex with a sleeping person without meticulous planning just because “he couldn’t resist”. It’s a very badly hidden secret of his that he loves it… Vil wakes up to him starting at his face or kissing his lips pretty often…

Rook is bad and all, but Lilia is probably the biggest offender when it comes to this lol He is the reason why Silver moans in his sleep sometimes and has a sucking reflex if you put something near his mouth while he’s asleep. Silver isn’t the only boy Lilia loves to touch when he’s asleep, but he finds his reactions to be the loveliest. He used to kiss and touch him in his sleep more often, but he still does it nowadays every now and then, especially when he has nothing to do at night and decides to visit Silver at night, sit on his bed and play with him a little bit. Lilia jokes that he is just protecting Silver’s sleep… Whenever Silver wakes up feeling a bit sore, wet, dirty and with his mouth and nipples a little tingly, he knows exactly what happened, and he doesn’t really mind – he’s used to it.

Sebek is also indirectly affected by Lilia’s antics because he spends a lot of time with Silver and knows his sleeping habits oh too well. When Silver isn’t being disturbed, he sleeps peacefully for the most time, but… sometimes he does have interesting dreams and starts mumbling something, breathing heavily, licking his lips, moving his thighs restlessly. At first Sebek ignored it, but it just kept happening. Sebek isn’t sure how to feel about it, but it makes him feel tingly down there for some reason… One time he put his palm on Silver’s face to cover his mouth and stop him for quietly moaning, and Silver licked it a little. And Sebek completely freaked out. The kink is blossoming inside him, he is resisting so hard..!

[welovelouisandbucky]

Peter Parker Headcanon

Summary:This is how I think Peter Parker would be with artist!reader

A/n: heyya guys!!! I just wanna apologize and thank everyone who showed support to few of my series that I started but did not post anything after first chapter, I started those series when I was feeling very motivated and was full of ideas but in excitement I didn't planned them out properly and it backfired. I wasn't feeling like it anymore but I knew I have to post and I did write chapters for all of them but I wasn't happy with my work so I never posted them, and it's my fault because I shouldn't have posted them online before planning them out properly, but I promise I will complete them but not anytime soon because I just don't feel like writing them any more. for now I just want to write small one shots and headcanons so I would really appreciate if you guys show these ideas support too, thank you!!

S/n: you can imagine any Peter Parker but I personally had Andrew!Peter in mind when writing this so yeah, likes and reblogs are appreciated and as well as positive criticism, pls don't hate on me 😭 thank you!

T/w: just fluff!! One swear word? none I guess other than my writing lol

I think he really enjoys drawing because it's one of the things he finds calming. 

He usually prefers to watch you draw/sketch, because he thinks you look super cute while you're concentrating on a certain detail or drawing the outline of the figure.

When you guys are drawing together, he'd try to draw you, so he can show you how beautiful you truly are. He just loves you so much he can't help it. 

Gets distracted easily, and blames it on you, and when you ask what you did he'll say something like "stop being so goddamn cute!" or like "you're looking too cozy and cute, makes me wanna cuddle the life out of you!" 

He absolutely LOVES painting with you because then he gets to start a paint war with you. In two or less minutes you guys would be covered in 50 shades of grey🤭😉

And let me tell you, the way he drew you is *chef's kiss* so good. The boy literally put his heart out on this drawing.

When he finally shows you the drawing he'd say something like "I'm sorry if it's not good. And please be honest if it's shit, okay?" "Peter, what are you talking about?! This is beautiful! I look so pretty!! You made me so beautiful in this!" " Well that's because YOU are BEAUTIFUL!" 

He'll most definitely take you to picnic dates, somewhere far and beautiful. He'd lay there next to you while you draw in silence. Those kinds of dates are his favorite; super relaxing and peaceful.

Would model for you if you ask him to, but the poor boy can't sit still. He needs to move or else he'll go crazy, but will apologize every time he moves, you're quick to tell him it's fine and that you don't expect him to become a statue.

Would buy you art supplies but will be too scared to give you because he knows you don't like it  when he spends his money on you. So he'll sneakingly leave it at your desk thinking you won't notice, but of course you did. Will get scolding from you afterwards. 

Let's be honest, you love it when he buys you art supplies, it makes you happy to know that he actually cares enough to got you those, but the thing is art supplies are expensive as fuck! He works really hard for what he earns, and you don't want him to waste it on you. You get scolded in return when you tell him this.

"Nonsense! I'm not wasting anything, you should know that, Y/n! You know, it actually hurts me to think you'd even think something like that." "I'm sorry, Peter." "You're forgiven, but only because I need my cuddles and kisses," "and because you love me?" "yeah that too, but mostly my cuddles."

Definitely, will take (swing) you to different places he thought was worthy enough to be drawn. Or when you're not feeling motivated, or when the art block is just too strong; because he understands how tough it can get for you.

He's always there for you no matter what. He truly understands you, and helps you out when you have no motivation or ideas to create anything. Calms you down when you're frustrated because the drawing you finished is not looking the way you wanted it to be. Always tells you how talented you are and how much he's proud of you and everything you create

Always reminds you to take care of yourself and asks you if you have eaten anything yet? Because when you're drawing you always lose track of time and forget to eat. 

Definitely finds it funny when you rant about how drawing hands is an absolute nightmare, but agrees with you nonetheless. 

100% had said "draw me like one of your French girls" at some point with a dramatic gesture. 

Shows you off to everyone he meets like, " have you met my girlfriend? She's so talented like ohmygod, here look at this" proceeds to show the person your artwork while you stand there embarrassed but so in love

Definitely has hung up your drawings in his room

He's your number one supporter, but does points out mistakes if he sees one (we love honest feedbacks)

So in conclusion Peter Parker is absolutely whipped for you

Thank you so much for reading this I hope you enjoyed this!!

[donutsupremacy]

Pocky Game (Pt. 2)

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Summary

"Hey, [Choice of Character]! Wanna try this new treat with me?"

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Warnings

Pocky Games and the rules are likely inaccurate lol

Male characters only

Included characters are the remaining (K-Z)

Organized from Region and alphabetical order

Mostly fluffy

I didn't specify the flavor, so feel free to pick ur desired flavor

Steamy ones marked with (⚠️)

Some cussing

I have ran out of scenarios for 70% :>

1000% Ooc

Written during 3.7

A/N: Iabxjnskxjei can't wait for Fontaine to meet my lovely sweetheart Lyney

Once again, YES I KNOW POCKY DOESN'T EXIST IN GENSHIN— yet.

For the sake of this imagine, just pretend the regional chefs made it

Remaining male characters included are (Not in order);

Kazuha/ Mika/ Pantalone/ Pierro/ Pulcillena (Yes)/ Razor/ Wanderer/ Heizou/ Thoma/ Tighnari/ Venti/ Xiao/ Xingqiu/ Zhongli

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Mondstadt

"When Sara created it, she also made a new based on it. She said that it would be best to play it with a partner, so... would you like to play a game with me?"

Mika

➷ My precious bby deserves better in this community.

➷ You'll likely find him somewhere busy remapping some areas that were recently revamped by everyone's favorite lil' terrorist Crimson Spark Knight

➷ You don't dare to jumpscare him, being in the Reconnaissance Company is already a tough enough of a job as it is. So, you loudly trampled across the grass, at least loud enough for him to hear.

➷ A little taken aback, he greets you meekly, all the while expertly marking the terrain on his map despite already looking away from it. (Maybe accidentally drawing a small heart on it once he saw you, mwehehehehe)

➷ You pecked his already blushing cheek, asking if he could take a break. He can multitask between mapping out the area while relaxing with you as being with you while doing cartography has always been his favorite type of 'break'.

➷ The two of you sat down on the grass, with you watching him work while he listens to you talking about whatever was going on in Mondstat. The gentle breeze brushing against your hair and his map.

➷ After finishing his work, you introduced him to the new treat Sara made and a new game.

➷ Mentioning the word 'Kiss' alone made him flustered. The two of you had been in a lovely relationship, but have yet to kiss on the lips. You reassure him there's no need to push it, but it's been a secret of his that he wonders just how your lips may feel on his.

➷ So he takes on the challenge, after all; He's the front-line surveyor of the Reconnaissance Company, he shouldn't be afraid of a kiss from his [S/O]!

➷ ...Maybe a bit more preparation was needed. As soon as your lips grazed across his own, locked together by the flavored stick, he attempts to kiss you properly by headbutting you on accident. Déjà Vu, amirite, Bennett from Part 1?

➷ "I-I'm alright! There's no need to worry... What about you? I didn't hurt you did I?... Huh? Y-You enjoyed the kiss? Me? O-Of course I enjoyed it! I'm just sorry our first kiss had to be... less romantic. Let me make it up to you! Follow me, I actually want to show you a place in Stormterror's Lair, I-I think you'll like it."

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Razor

➷ Oh shit he came from the trees

➷ Quite literally, he dropped down from the trees, greeting you with a small smile after your lovely scent reached him.

➷ You introduced him to the treat and as you had expected; He was skeptical at first, having his diet based on mostly meat.

➷ But, he's willing to try anything, especially when it comes from his beloved Lupical... even if you suck at cooking like me heueheuhwhshsbdkannfks

➷ Regardless of what flavour you chose, he reacts positively, stating that the taste isn't as bad as he initially thought. To be honest, he thought you brought something to poison him, he hasn't seen this treat before since his last visit to Mondstadt's City.

➷ It's still feels odd eating... 'Stick with flavour', as he calls it (He doesn't know how to pronounce Pocky properly). But then you place it between your lips, suggesting him to eat another one while sharing it at the same time with you.

➷ Innocent little Razor automatically agrees, seeing this as something romantic humans do; Sharing something they like with their partner. Of course it didn't take long for him to grow flustered at the lack of space between your lips and his.

➷ Out of instinct from seeing many couples in the city do this, he just lunges ahead and take a large chunk of the stick, his lips grazing against your gently enough to be called a kiss.

➷ He chews the stick silently in shame as you just stared at him out of surprise. He quietly mutters an apology as he assumed he something wrong, to which you reassured him that you enjoyed the kiss. That earned you another happy peck to the cheek.

➷ "Me too. Your lips... taste like treat. But also soft on mine... It is— very nice. I... like to kiss you. Can we try one more? I-If you want."

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Venti

➷ Booze flavoured Pocky?

➷ You'll be aware of Venti's true identity for this one. You are 'The Melody of Venti's Vocals' and/or vice versa, following him and creating a tune together that tugs the strings of the Mondstadters all around you.

➷ But at night, where life tends to retire for their slumber and secrets lay hiding within the shadows, you accompany the Archon (Unsurprisingly) to the bar. Telling tales of himself as he downs several shots of Dandelion Wine. And then later paying for his bills before dragging him to your home for some cuddles.

➷ On this particular night, you asked the bard to skip the drinking, much to his short-lived dismay.

➷ You drag him all the way back to your private abode, sitting on your porch and asking him to share the treat. He'll definitely agree to play the game as well, not skipping a beat to say 'Absolutely!'.

➷ It starts off cute, playing the game normally. Until halfway through when he holds both your cheeks, taking the rest of the stick in while giving you a biiiig smooch.

➷ You're flustered at first, before playfully pouting at him as he giggles and slyly winks at you. He then proceeds to ask you for one more round. One after another, each one you lose because he sucessfully kisses you. Though, you certainly didn't mind the slightest.

➷ At the strike of midnight, Venti sighs, licking his lips that hsd the taste of the stick's flavour and your own. He grins at you cheekily, as you fake pouted for not winning once.

➷ He chuckles, bringing you into his embrace, to which you lean against him, your feigned anger quelled in his arms. As you both stared at the moon above, he gazes softly into your eyes, his slim fingers caressing your cheek.

➷ "Exchanging tokens of love has always been a delight— for the spark between us to shine brighter than tonight's moonlight... Now, take my hand, dear Windblume— and allow me to proudly declare my everlasting love, to none other than you..."

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Liyue

"I know Xiangling's cooking can be... odd, but I promise; this one actually tastes amazing!... And, she even included a little game to it!"

Xiao

➷ "Xiao?" "U called?" "AAAAAAA—"

➷ Perched on the rooftop of Wangshu Inn, golden leaves raining from the tree above. As soon as you pulled out the box of Pocky, the Yaskha turns you down before you could utter a word.

➷ Obviously, He doesn't need food, it doesn't benefit him if he consumes them anyway. Well, except maybe Almont Tofu huehue

➷ It wasn't until you started fake whimpering, bringing out the puppy eyes did he finally cave in. He loathes the sound of your whimpers, it makes his heart ache painfully to comfort you. And your teary eyes? It hurts more to look at them than his karmic debt.

➷ He sighs before stating 'Only this once', causing your eyes to light up brighter than the star themselves. He may not enjoy food, but he finds comfort being with you. He's willing to tolerate anything when it comes to making you feel safe and happy.

➷ He asks what's the point of the game, to which you responded with 'It's a surprise!' casually. He rolls his eyes before taking the other end of the stick, the two of you taking turns chipping away at the treat.

➷ And then your noses touch.

➷ His piercing golden eyes widened, pupils trembling at the sight of how close your lips are to his own. It wasn't like neither of you have shared a kiss before, you always pecked his cheek as a greeting. But when he's supposedly suspended in place when your lips were right there, inches away for him to take... it's the sudden craving for your kiss that makes him feel— flustered.

➷ He's the one who broke the stick, reluctantly swallowing the treat while avoiding your eyes. He subtly glances at you, noticing the upset exoression as you silently chew on your end of the stick.

➷ It doesn't take long for the cogs in his brain to start spinning, before he asks if this was a ridiculously pointless plot for you to steal a kiss from him. In which you replied; "Yes :3"

➷ He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighed, the tip of his nose a rosy pink colour. He grabs your chin, turning you to face him before he leans in slowly, planting his lips on your own.

➷ It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like an entire decade went by before he finally pulled away. His gloved hand cradling your face, thumb caressing your blushing cheeks as you gazed at him happily.

➷ "You humans truly love making things much more difficult for yourselves than it should. You're lucky i'll humour you today. Uhm, you... aren't afraid of asking me for something so simple and small— are you?... You're not? Oh. That's good... Next time, you can just ask, I won't decline... I promise."

Xingqiu

➷ *Proceeds to read out the entire story of Romeo and Juliet at your arrival*

➷ You see him occupied reading a book while on a bench, so you interrupt by slipping the box of treats in between the pages he was reading, cooing at him to lend you some time for a bit of fun.

➷ Amused, he closes the book and pecks your forehead, followed by the usual compliment of your lovely presence greeting him and pulling you closer to him.

➷ You asked him to play the Pocky Game with you, to which he narrows his eyes at the box, deep in thought. You were about to reassure that if he didn't want to, there was no need to, until he gleefully agrees to play. You could see flowers dancing around him, which already made you feel weary of him.

➷ Nonetheless, your happiness powered over your cautious side and you eagerly planted the stick between your lips. He leans foward biting the other side, the corner of his lips tugging into a sly but unnoticeable smirk. You've fallen into his trap, again~

➷ Your naivety wasn't aware of his eyes growing half-lidded, his head tilting a certain angle and his hand reaching out to your face. Halfway there, and your biggest mistake was looking up, locking eyes with his suddenly lustful amber eyes.

➷ his hands barely grazed your cheek, the faint moan of your name reaching your ear, eyes pleading for more than a simple kiss from you. That was when you instinctively snapped the stick apart, nearly falling over the bench you both sat on, covering your bright red face that felt like it was on fire.

➷ The male giggles slyly, watching you sit up with a bright red face that could rival the hair of a pyro wielding bartender in Mondstadt, an angry pout forming on your face.

➷ You punched him gently on the shoulder as you dragged yourself back on the bench, pretending to ignore him for tricking you.

➷ Of course, that didn't last long before he wraps his arms around you, kissing your still red cheek and whispering apologies into your ear.

➷ "My liege, why are you fretting over such a simple and intimate act? Are lovers not obliged to display affection for one another as a way to express their true feelings? Or perhaps... has something suggestive begun circulating in your thoughts? Hehehe~ I thank the Archons for blessing me with such a doting and endearing [S/O]~"

Zhongli (⚠️)

➷ Habsjsbdin i feel disgusting writing these

➷ You'll also know Zhongli's true identity in this one, I hc that if he found a lover, he'd reveal he's an archon some time in your relationship as to not make your... 'Parting' too difficult.

➷ Sad stuff out of the way, you slide yourself next to Zhongli, who was in the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's lobby having his afternoon tea.

➷ He greets you, poised and soft as ever. He pours you a cup of tea, offering it to you. The liquid cools your insides, a sigh of relief escaoing your lips as you thank him for the refreshment. Or if you dislike tea, he'll offer you just a glass of water, saying he predicted your arrival.

➷ You wasted no time in asking if he'd like to play the Pocky Game with you, waving the stick in front of him as you informed him of the rules. Amused at your offer, he agrees to try the oh-so-harmless game.

➷ It started off normal and innocent at first, the two of you playing the game as intended, with you going on a losing streak for breaking the treat too much, being too flustered because of Zhongli's face getting too close to yours. He looks so— gorgeous up close...

➷ You call for a break, frantically drinking your [cup of tea/glass of water] to try and cool down your body. All the while Zhongli was patiently watching you fan yourself as subtly as you could, which wasn't subtle at all.

➷ He thinks you're flustered for losing so much, so be wraps his arms around you, pulling you close to him as a way to comfort you. Which wasn't working, if anything, it made your face feel more hotter.

➷ He whispers sweet nothing into your ears, reassuring you for something you weren't upset about. And it gets worse when he pulls you into his lap, having you unintentionally straddle his hips.

➷ Mainly out of embarrassment, you squirmed around a little. Laughing sheepishly as you shyly explained you weren't upset, but flustered at how pretty he looked up close.

➷ Unfortunately, your words didn't reach his ears, distracted by you pressing down onto his clothed member. His hands trailed down your body slowly, effectively shutting you up and making you wriggle around more.

➷ He groans your name quietly, raspy voice echoing in your ears. Wanting to hear more, you experimentally rolled your hips against him, a small moan leaving your lips at his erection pressing against you.

➷ His gloved fingers dug into the flesh of your waist, pulling you downwards to feel himself throbbing against you, the tightening core in your abdoment aching for him.

➷ Lustful amber eyes met yours as he cradled your blushing cheek, leaning foward to lock lips with you. He lifts himself a little, now it was his turn to tease you. A moan escaping your intertwined lips, now joining him in his administrations.

➷ "My love... there's no need to tempt me, I understand your needs. Shall we take this somewhere more... private? Director Hu would not appreciate it if we... make love here. I wish to show you my passionate side that awaits you."

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Inazuma

"Anna asked if I could taste test it, but then she told me it would be more fun if I had a partner to try it out with... Why don't we have a bite or two together?"

Kazuha Kaedehara

➷ Beidou is his mom, now she's ur mom as well. I don't take no's for an awnser.

➷ You arrive on the Crux, crew members scurrying around the deck, attending to their duties. Your boyfriend no where to be seen, but you spot the captain gazing at the sea intently, presumably wondering what sort of adventures are there to come.

➷ Beidou greets you enthusiastically, an arm looped around your shoulder and pulling you in for a tight hug. You choked due to her strength, but returned with a shy greeting of your own. You gave her an extra Pocky box as a gift, knowing she and her crew were ready to set sail soon.

➷ You asked the Electro wielder where your beloved boyfriend was, to which she chuckled, before responding with a vague 'Ask him what's up!' and pointing somewhere.

➷ You followed her finger, directing your eyes to see what was behind and above you; Your amused boyfriend sitting on the roof, smiling down at you.

➷ The white haired male got up and jumped down, using his Anemo vision to assist him in his graceful landing. He greets you with his usual soft tone, taking your hand and planting a kiss on your knuckles.

➷ Beidou soon leaves with a hearty laugh and a 'Get a room, lovebirds!~', returning to assist her crew members. Meanwhile, you dragged your boyfriend over to a more secluded area of the ship while asking him about where his travels will bring him to next.

➷ Sitting near the edge of the ship, he awnsers all of your questions calmly, before asking if you wanted to play the game with him. He chuckles, admitting he heard your voice faintly in the wind talking to a friend about wanting to play the Pocky game with him before he leaves.

➷ Although embarrassed that he overheard your conversation, you nodded. You took one end of the treat and pointed at the other, which he happily took.

➷ Since he was about to leave soon, you were only able to sneak in a couple of rounds before Beidou's voice could be heard announcing the preparation for departure was completed. But you were still happy, as you had fun kissing your boyfriend on the lips, which you'll miss for a while.

➷ He cradles your face, his soft but captivating red eyes staring into yours. He plants his lips onto yours once more, pulling you closer to his chest, your arms wrapped around him.

➷ "Hearts intertwined, strings stretched apart but not once torn. We will never be seperated, for our connection is something that will last much more than eternity. I'll be back soon, [Name], my heart, mind, soul and body are yours forever."

Shikanoin Heizou (⚠️)

➷ Very self indulgent. Very very long and self indulgent :>

➷ You were visiting the Tenryou Comission, greeting many familiar faces while on the way to see a certain detective, who was likely about to take his break and waiting for your arrival.

➷ As you had correctly guessed, you entered his office, quietly so you wouldn't accidentally disturb the burgundy haired male seen busy sorting some files at his desk. His brows furrowed and olive eyes reading each label intently, you can't help but silently admire how pretty he looked when he was focused.

➷ You opted to help him finish his current task first, putting away the box and moving to his side to sort the remaining files. You've always assisted him with his work whenever you stopped by to see him, it helps him immensely when he was given a large workload. Sorting a couple of files according to their statuses was a walk in the park, you've done this many times.

➷ His eyes widened at your sudden appearance, but smiled fondly at you, his mood improving tenfold. Soon enough, the desk was neat and tidy in contrast to the pile of mess before you came in.

➷ He breathes a sigh of relief, pecking your cheek and asking you to take a seat next while he grabs you a glass of water. On the way, he locks the door, giving the two of you privacy. His eyes spot the box you've hidden, his velvety laughter reaching your ears.

➷ You thank him as he sits next to you, arms wrapped around your waist and pulling you close as you took your sweet time taking a sip. Meanwhile, he sneakily takes the box, examining it's peculiar design.

➷ When he asks you about it, you introduced him to the treat and told him about the game's rules, later asking if he could play a game with you. Of course, he accepts in a heartbeat, already handing you one stick.

➷ You bite down on it while he takes the other almost immediately, grinning at you slyly. The round proceeds smoothly, with you taking the victory after sucessfully kissing his lips, your cheeks tinted a pink hue.

➷ He blinks, a bit in shock while you happily chew your treat. He chuckles, pinching your cheek while calling you 'cute'. You offered to play another round, to which he gladly took. Unbeknownst to you, he's already planning something to... 'spice up' this competition.

➷ Each and every round, you ended up as the victor, unaware of why he seemed rather lazy to play, only smiling at you in amusement. It wasn't until he took the last stick, asking for one more round, you accepted, thinking nothing of it.

➷ While you were already half way there, he lunges foward, taking the remaining stick into his mouth and locking lips with you. You nearly fell off your chair, arms clinging onto his shirt while he grips your waist tightly.

➷ He pulls away, licking his lips and gazing into your eyes, olive eyes clouded with lust at how much your trembling from his lips alone. He doesn't let you speak, barely letting you register when he pulls you in for another kiss.

➷ He shifts himself to hover over you, one hand resting on your thigh while the other hold the back of your head, pushing you to deepen the kiss. You steady yourself by grabbing his shoulders, the chair tilted back slightly.

➷ He retreats, only to kiss your chin, slowly moving down to litter your collar bone with bright red marks for all to see. You choked back a moan, his hand on your thigh now moving closer to where you want him the most.

➷ "You're a needy one, aren't you? *Chuckles* how cute~ Did I rile you up too much? Do you need me badly? Don't be scared, even if they hear, then they'll know who you really belong to now~ Say the word, my [Pet Name], say it loud and clear to me... and i'll make you scream my name louder in return."

Thoma

➷ I'M RUNNING OUT OF SCENARIOS SO THIS IS THE PART WHERE I SHORTEN EVERYTHING AND BS MY THROUGH—

➷ While gathering feedback on the new treat for Anna, (The chef in Inazuma, the one in Ayaka's story quest) you accidentally rammed right into Thoma, dropping the box and falling onto your rear with a soft 'thud'.

➷ He apologises, helping you up and repeatedly asking if you were alright. You reassure him that you weren't hurt, although, you were a little upset that your snack was inedible now as the last few sticks were scattered on the ground.

➷ Nonetheless, you still hug Thoma as a proper greeting before peppering his face with a couple of kisses. He chuckles, returning with a sweet kiss on the nose.

➷ Suddenly, he pulls out the exact same box you had, asking if you were given the same task Anna gave to him. You can't help but chuckle at the coincidence, the two of you were doing the same thing and bumped right into eachother at the very end.

➷ He immediately offers to share the box with you, stating he was done with the job, adding that this is his way of repaying you for earlier.

➷ You gladly accepted, but asked to play a couple rounds of the game with you. He doesn't waste anytime in planting the stick in his lips, teasingly waving the stick at your face.

➷ You both finished the box, your game ending in a draw and full of kisses. Now, you were resting your head on his shoulder, happily rambling away about whatever came to your mind.

➷ He was staring fondly at you the entire time, though, his eyes trailed down to your lips. He's kissed you many, many times... But they're absolutely irresistible to him.

➷ He stops your rambling when he touches your cheek, causing you to flinch and look at him in confusion. He chuckles, apologising for disrupting you.

➷ "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you... You're adorable when you just babble on mindlessly. But I can't help noticing how... lonely your lips look. May I accompany it with my own?"

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Sumeru

"Lambad was asking if I could collect any feedback on this treat, he even made up a whole game about it... do you wanna kill two birds with one stone and play the game while tasting it?"

Wanderer (⚠️)

➷ "Hi, Nahida! Where's Don Sombrero?"

➷ He'd likely be wandering (heh) outside of Sumeru City in the middle of the night, his bored indigo eyes staring up at the moon.

➷ The sound of a twig snapping in half made his eyes widened in alert, turning around and swiftly sending a sharp wind blade towards the supossed stalker— You.

➷ He frorze in place staring at you in shock, while you just stood there awkwardly with a lopsided and confused smile, the blade barely missing you by a few inches. He clicks his tongue, lowering his hat to hide the worry in his eyes while he approaches you, reprimanding you for sneaking up on someone who could've ended you in one fell swoop.

➷ You apologise, offering to take a leisurely stroll with him, explaining that you couldn't sleep. He scoffs and begins to walk away, but doesn't decline. You jogged up to his side, not a single complaint leaving his lips.

➷ The two of you strolled around the forest that surrounded the city, basking in eachother's presence without having to share a word. Until he tries to slip his hand into yours, his way of showing his appreciation for you without using words.

➷ He ends up grabbing the box instead and asks what it is. You blurted out the true motive behind your decision to join his late night excursion; To play the Pocky game with him. He sighs, calling you childish but agrees to play since it'll make you happy.

➷ You two find a quiet and safe spot, settling down while admiring the view of Sumeru City at night. He says he'll only play a couple of rounds just to get this over with, so that the two of you can just cuddle relax in peace.

➷ He takes his hat off, in case it'll hit you by accident. You plant the stick between your lips and leaned in, allowing him to take the other end, albeit a little reluctantly. He would've just preferred to kiss you normally, but he'll humour you.

➷ Though it was frustrating when he was already prepared for a kiss, but you end up snapping the stick at the very last second. The moonlight did little to hide the blush on your face, you apologised profusely out of humiliation, admitting you broke it because of how pretty he looked close up.

➷ He scoffed, saying that was a ridiculous reason and stating it wasn't any different than the previous times you've kissed. But he doesn't want you to beat yourself up over something stupid, he wraps one arm around your waist and pulls you closer to get that kiss he's been waiting for.

➷ You wrapped your arms around his shoulder, tilting your head a little to lean in closer to his lips. His hand around your waist moves downwards, his touch caused a quiet moan to slip past your lips.

➷ Your hands glide across his chest, his fingers digging into your flesh from the ghostly touch if your fingertips.

➷ "Look at you, already falling apart at something so miniscule as a kiss that was meant to fulfill your desire. Or was it truly your desire to begin with? Perhaps you were craving for something much more than that? Lowly human... your soft pleads mean nothing to my ears. If you want something from me— beg for it."

Tighnari

➷ Srry gonna have to nerf u real quick

➷ You were treading through Avidya Forest, on the way to Gandharva ville. Though, you had injured one of your legs that was now in a cast, you didn't let the pain distract you from wanting to visit your part-canine boyfriend.

➷ You limped along the dirt road, oblivious to the pair of eyes stalking your every movement. You could see the village up ahead, your heart fluttering at the thought of greeting Tighnari, his bushy tail swaying back and forth at your visit.

➷ However, you were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard something heavy land right behind you. Startled, you spun around, only to trip over your own foot and fall onto the ground.

➷ Panic coursed through your blood when you were met face to face with a Rishbolang Tiger, whose eyes stared at you with hunger. It growls, the fur on it's back standing erect as it stalks closer to you, baring it's sharp teeth that were ready to sink into your flesh.

➷ You scrambled back onto your non-injured leg, but it was near impossible to outrun something as fast as a tiger. But lady luck was by your side when you heard a familiar voice call out your name, followed by something being hurled at the tiger behind you.

➷ The tiger was soon trapped in a field, it's dilated pupils darting everywhere in search of you. Out comes your boyfriend, running to your rescue before the field's taunting effects dispels.

➷ One Arm around your waist and the other hooked around his shoulder, he helps you to limp away from the distracted tiger. Despite being visibly unscathed, Tighnari proceeds to check you for any more injuries. All the while calling you an idiot for traversing in the jungle with an injured leg.

➷ He sighs, bringing you into his arms for a comforting hug, saying he was worried about what would've happened if he wasn't on patrol.

➷ You returned the embrace, saying you just wanted to visit— Aaand, you lost the Pocky box during your escape. You sighed sadly while he kissed you in reassurance, stating he could escort you back to Sumeru City and purchase another one.

➷ He asks what it is, to which you replied with a description and your desire to play the game with him. He scoffs, travelling all the way here with an injured leg just to play a kissing game with him? You're too cute for your own good.

➷ "There's no need to be upset over something small... especially when you were nearly devoured by a Rishboland Tiger. Regardless, you should refrain from adding more pressure on your leg. For the time being, you should recover here for a few hours before returning to Sumeru City... As for the 'game' you wanted to play, that's a ridiculous reason. You want a kiss? Then... oh, whatever, just come here..."

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[This section of characters may have innacurate personalities and responses, their parts will be shortened due to the lack of information present.]

Pantalone

➷ Russian Baizhu and I have officially ran out of ideas.

➷ The two of you rendezvous outside of the Fatui Harbinger's Headquarters, drops of snow dancing around the two of you.

➷ You fixed his coat, huffing about how cold it is outside while he enjoys how fussy you're being. Once done, the two of you strolled around Snezhnaya, hand in hand.

➷ Idk if there are travelling merchants in Snezhnaya, but we'll oretend there's one who'll introduce the treat to you. Hearing the instructions of the game, Baizhu Pantalone purchases it, giving you a sly smile.

➷ Eventually you two returned to the harbinger's headquarters, about to bid your beloved a farewell as he was about to resume his work. But then he stops you, asking to play the little game before you leave.

➷ You sighed, but really wanted to play the game with him.

➷ "Dear, your face seems red! Oh, my poor darling... Has the snow gotten to you? Or... did something else snuck it's way into that pretty little bead of yours, hm?~"

Pierro

➷ I struggled SO MUCH writing the last two fatui harbingers, having to add the dialouges at the end was fokin' T O R T U R E

➷ Tartaglia had sent over a box full of Pocky to you, with a note asking you to give one for each of his fellow comrades, with a little doodle of himself winking and a instructions on how to play the game.

➷ You saved the last one for your beloved master; Pierro. After you finish reporting the current affairs to him, he thanks you and allows you to take a small break, to which you ask if he could join.

➷ He responds that he was busy, saying he would have a meeting with the other Harbingers later, but states that he could still join you for a couple of minutes.

➷ It was good enough as you introduced him to box, adding that it came from Childe and he had included a little game you wanted to play with him, he sighed upon hearing the name. You sat on his lap, his arm holding your waist to balance you.

➷ You stuck one end of the treat in-between your lips, leaning foward for him to take the other, albeit a little hesitantly. The game was way too childish for him, but harmless nonetheless.

➷ I'll make this quick; He wins multiple rounds. You couldn't bear seeing his stoic, yet, gentle face that only you could witness, being so close to yours. He finds it amusing, but shows little to no change in expression.

➷ "I apologise for cutting this short, I will have to take my leave now... However, you may hold onto the last remaining sticks, I never said I wouldn't return to you. Let us rendezvous outside the headquarters once the meeting is over."

Pulcillena

➷ i'll make this as serious and short as possible srry

➷ As with most of the Fatui Harbingers, you find him giving instructions to the new batch of recruits on their first official duties and assignments.

➷ Once he was done and the skirmishers had dispersed, you wrapped your arms around him, greeting him with a kiss on his pointy nose.

➷ He returns the gesture with an affectionate nuzzle to your cheek, asking if there were any stray recruits he had yet to brief. You shook your head, only stating that you wanted to stay with him for a little bit before returning to work.

➷ Agreeing to your request, the two of you decided to take a leisurely walk around the building, chatting about whatever came to your minds. It was refreshing after having to deal with many injured recruits returning defeated by the Traveller.

➷ You brought out the box of treat, stating Tartaglia had sent this for the two of you and the rest of the Harbingers to try. He chuckles, saying he was given the same box that was meant for his family.

➷ The two of you decided to play a couple rounds, but it's difficult to play the game when your partner nearly poked your eyes out several times with his nose. He apologises, feeling insecure about his nose.

➷ You tossed the box aside, planting a reassuring kiss on his forehead, reminding him that the nose would never be enough to break the connection between the two of you.

➷ "Ah... How did I get so lucky to have you as my own? I wonder if you were my reward for pledging my loyalty to the Tsaritsa, the most perfect partner I could ever ask for, a truly one of a kind lover."

Aether

➷ Why not? I may have run out of scenarios, but one more for our best boi

➷ After tearing down several Hilichurl towers, the two of you flopped down on the ground to catch your breaths while Paimon levitates over to your side.

➷ You asked Paimon if she could scout the area, which left eventually you and Aether alone. Aether gazed at the grassy terrain of Mondstadt, his golden eyes sorrowful as two foxes danced around eachother happily. He misses his sister...

➷ Wanting to help distract him from his sorrow, you shook his shoulder gently, shaking a box of Pocky and asking if he'd like to take the time to try it out. His frown lifts into a smile, nodding in agreement.

➷ But that smile turned flustered when you placed one stick in your lips and leaned towards him expectantly, his cheeks tinted a faint pink hue. Although, a bit taken aback when you wanted to play the game, he doesn't refuse the offer.

➷ He bites down on the other end, but refuses to stare into your eyes, his gloved hands fidgeting with his cape.

➷ The two of you took turns inching closer, your heart pounding harshly against your chest when your lips and his are barely a few inches away.

➷ It was his turn now, but he freezes. You assume it was because he might be uncomfortable at the close proximity, so you prepare to break the stick, only to feel his hands reach up and touch your cheeks.

➷ He leans foward, now taking your lips as well. For brief moment, your brain paused to register his lips on your, before you melted. Eventually, you both pulled away, with you now shifting to lay your head on his lap, his hand caressing your cheek.

➷ "Thanks [Name]... It feels refreshing to just relax once in a while, travelling between nation to nation gets really exhausting... I'm glad I still have you by my side, you're my motivation to continue on with this journey."

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A/N: Jabsiwbfihsdiiwd I actually wanted to add Lyney but decided against it. Lyney will be coming anyways, so i'll get to know his personality and quirks better. I know damn well i'm gonna be fawning over him once he gets his debut, his wink made my heart go uwu

[Part 1]

[melodymelancholyart]

We’ve reached 100 followers, and of course here’s your reward lol

The Smosh Pony Celebration Post!🎉

I’m going to supply the Smosh pony art I made in middle school , more art of the “Smosh in Equin” mock au, and Smosh pony designs based on Ian and Anthony’s current appearances! My two hyper fixations merged into an abomination of god!💕 This post is a long one so I hope you all enjoy!

I’ve noticed that some of you guys aren’t familiar with Mlp lore I don’t blame you I’ll supply some terminology and definitions so we’re all on the same page. I’ll be focusing on the lore of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic which I’ll be shortening to MLPFIM for simplicity sake. I’ll only go over really basic lore so you don’t need to watch the show to understand this post.

Cutie Mark - that weird symbol on a pony’s ass. They signify that pony’s ‘special talent’ or a symbol that represents their identity. These special talents are usually an activity that comes natural to its owners. Some can get rather abstract in meaning and design while others might be obvious. For example, a pony good at drawing might have a pencil and paper as a cutie mark. This gets very existential the more you think about it

Equestria - the central setting of MLPFIM ruled by two princesses. It’s home to ponies, dragons, and a multitude of fantasy creatures.

Pony - Ponies exist as three main types; Earth Ponies (normal horse), Pegasus (horse with wings), and Unicorns (wizard horse).

Pegasus (lore) - Pegasi can fly and move/stand on clouds. They usually work in controlling the weather. The weather is weirdly manual in the MLPFIM universe I’m not getting into it

Unicorns - Horses with a horn that allow them to use magic! Mostly telekinesis unless the pony is has raw magical talent (ie. Twilight Sparkle).

Earth Ponies - Normal horses but agricultural makes bank so they aren’t complaining.

Alicorns - All three horse types in one er a Pegasus with a horn.

(Made in 2012)

I originally made a cringey Smosh pony ‘series’ in middle school. All your favorite characters are here! Looking back, this entire concept was just really self indulgent. I shipped myself with Anthony (gurl wtf you’re 12??? Of course she’s an alicorn too lol) and some of these characters. As embarrassing as this is, I remember getting my friends involved, and we all would bounce ideas off each other about plot and lore. Just a bunch of preteen artists meshing what they love in one big project.

That being said if my preteen horse sona did meet Ian and Anthony it would probably be like this:

Cynicism aside I decided to draw the old designs of Ian and Anthony for old times sake.

I have no clue why they’re wearing hoodies like an eddsworld character or why Anthony has the Smosh symbol as a cutie mark but Ian doesn’t.

Fast forward to fuckin last year I got the idea for the April Fools Smosh horse thing and my brain just ran with it. This entire 'au' is one big satire of my middle school concept.

Terms like ‘cutie mark’ and ‘Equestria’ are replaced with ‘soul brand’ and ‘Equin’ since it doesn’t actually take place in the MLP universe.

Minor spoilers: Sketch ver. Ian and Anthony fuckin die and are reincarnated as horses forgetting their past lives. They grew up and live as social outcasts unable to use magic/fly properly because they literally don’t belong there and the universe is actively rejecting them. They fight forces that look like biblically accurate angels because they’re celestial bodies trying to remove them from the universe (Ian and Anthony are only fighting them because they think the big wheels with eyes are keeping them there but it’s actually something else).

With that being said, art time!

That got me thinking about what Ian and Anthony would look like if they were in the mlp universe. Of course my brain took this concept and ran with it. I’d like to share what I came up with!

Stellar Prism (Anthony) and Golden Horizon (Ian)

• They got their cutie marks together at the same time as kids.

• Gold’s talent is radiating sun energy that makes everyone in a 10ft radius happy. He literally glows when he’s happy.

• Prism can focus on someone’s talent and magnify the magic energy from them. I used Anthony’s quote of being a magnifying glass as a jumping off point.

• They preform comedy shows together akin to a manzai routine where Prism is the straight man and Gold is the funny man. They’d travel Equestria preforming together.

• Just like real life, Prism split from Gold because he felt like he didn’t know who he was without Gold. His talent is showing other people’s potential but he wanted to discover his own. While split, Prism studied more “unpopular” forms of magic to rediscover himself. He basically went through the abyss but came out on the other side self content. His ‘tattoos’ are side effects from these magic experiments.

• During the split, Gold met other aspiring comedians (other Smosh members) and they all formed into a comedy troupe.

• When Gold reunited with Prism, he was so happy that he accidentally flashbanged Prism.

• Prism calls Gold “Duck” because he looks like a rubber duck.

• Gold is a pretty fast flyer. He can out-fly most members of the troupe.

That's all from me! Thank you guys again for 100 followers! I've never really used Tumblr and I'm very late to the game. I'm still thankful for all the support I received! <3

Don't come cryin to me if this post got you to draw horses lol

[toasts-httyd-hyperfixation]

Alright i can't decide so y'all are fixin to do it for me

I have several things i wanna work on but i cant pick one to do so ive been doin none of em

Options are

Redoing the Httyd Timeline and Ages post i made a while ago. Its all mostly accurate and the things not explicitly stated in canon i still stand by, but i found a couple other things to add in, and overall its a lil messy cause its from when first started making longer posts, so it could just do with an overhaul to clear it up a bit

Im trying to go through and make a Full AU list, with Name and a summary of what its about, so i can actually talk about em here, as well as sorting all other AUs out properly. These were all talked mostly via the Discord Server, so its literally sorting through whats gotta be hundreds of thousands of messages from over the course of >1 year. Which its great because ive deeply enjoyed talking to everyone ( Shout out to the Discord Buddies, Love yall, you're the Best🫶🫶) but my god, i should have kept on top of it lol.

This one i don't know if anyone else even really is interested in, but y'all are getting it eventually regardless, because ya know you can't stop me from making posts here, no matter how much yall may want to sometimes (Toothfull my beloved <3). Anyway the gist of this one is, idk if its just me, but a lotta times when i hear ages in a book, i understand it, but it doesn't really connect. So i like to go and find other characters and people that are the same age, especially in like movie or shows, where i can look at people that are the same age and go "Holy Shit, they're just babies" or such as the like as that if they're older (Mostly in Alvins case, that man is not as old as a lot of yall probably think he is, or maybe you don't, who am i to say what you do or do not think)

Number 4 is essentially the same thing as number 3 but height related instead. I just like making visual comparisons for a lot of these things, cause it helps put things into perspective, as well as its nice for like drawing and stuff.

This ones just Goofy. I have several sillier ships that ive had over the years, some that just fall into crack ship territory. Some of them i do actually think would be cute/sweet, others are just for the sake of going "Could you fuckin imagine". So im making a poll, much like this one, with a brief explanation, and then yall get to vote on em. I dont know if itll be for the Worst, The best, Which One is y'all's favorite, i dunno, but its gonna be something.

And then the last one i can think of is, i really don't know how to explain it, but it's talking about how, in my opinion, the Vikings view of hiccup is being accurately portrayed? Like, that's a really bad summary, but i can't think of how to explain it better so, this is kind of a vague, mystery option

Anyways, those are the options i got for now

Im probably forgetting something but ¯\_(ツ)_/��

Everything'll eventually got done

So with that said

[no0t2]

@checkadii

I literally just woke up so this is the worst time to post this but ngl I have this problem where I wanna talk about it but I blank so fucking hard and fall flat on my face that I end up not talking about it anyway out of sheer embarrassment.

I'm not good at structuring my thoughts properly either because of ADHD, but here goes I guess.

I usually gotta segway into the topic if it's relevant to the conversation usually via,, friend convo, I don't know how people do deepdives of characters and whatnot I can't do that. I'm not sure why that is, this always has been a thing for me where I've got some level of understanding and my own HCs and such but they're not written or anything, so I can't express them.

To me Postal is just a silly series (minus P1 and Redux), not to be taken too seriously. So I don't really think about the "lore" that it has so much. I can ramble about Postal: Brain Damaged tho, that's probably my favourite cos of gameplay... And the designs as well as the soundtrack. It's just such a good game, I never thought shooters would ever be a genre I'd like to play, as I was so against playing them (thanks Half-Life for opening up my eyes). I can say definitely with confidence that retro styled FPS are especially something I find fun? Not on intense difficulty or anything either, I usually can't go above normal.

I've listened to "Straight Outta Suburbia" for like over an hour straight, I'm pretty sure even during while I was drawing one of my BD sketches lol

Back to Postal in general, I frankly haven't done enough "research" on it where I can properly speak about it aside from the games I've played (P1, P2, Paradise Lost and P:BD) And they're all games that are super different from each other (aside from P2 and PL, but even then). I'd also say I'm still pretty new to the series, speaking as I haven't played all of the games yet. Frankly, I was planning to just stick to P2 and that's it, glad I didn't.

Postal 1 I remember making me feel all sorts of weird things when I both played it and after I finished it. The load up intro scared the shit out of me the first time I opened the game, to where I had to pause for a minute. And it kept spooking me each time I did open it. I think that was kinda the point of the game as it's pretty dark compared to it's counterparts. I won't get into the lore of the 1st Dude cos I've seen people pluck at each other's feathers over the interpretation of him. But essentially, guy looses his shit during an episode, starts killing everyone. (Or just, "hostiles", depends how you play the game.)

P2 is so wildly different (aside from the fact that you can shoot people) that when I first opened it I was so confused how I was met with THAT Dude. I was surprised to hear him talk more beyond than just "BLEED" or "Only my weapon understands me". At the time I was also wrangling personal fears and feelings(which I don't know if I wanna get into, let alone if people would even wanna hear it lol) over playing the Postal series, so my initial expectation towards the game was:

"Okay, I know this is going to have some offensive shit in it, there's parts that won't be fun probably." And hoped for the worst, surprisingly a lot of the stuff in it I didn't find that bad, most of it is definitely fucked up, but nothing I couldn't handle, surprisingly. I played neutral-y, so I only attacked whoever attacked me, but I'd bail if I had the chance.

Paradise Lost plays similarly to Postal 2 (as it's literally the same branch of game just in the form of DLC). But I've found myself enjoying it way more than Postal 2, mostly cuz I found some of the jokes in it actually funny.

P3 I haven't played because I got rick rolled by RWS on the website so I'm not gonna play it out of spite </33 (But I've seen gameplay)

Postal: Brain Damaged is like, even more different than the previous entries as it's a retro styled shooter. But it has the charm of a Postal game and MAN is it good, I think the fact that it was released more recently is what made me enjoy its humor more. And it just!! Is so fun in general like wow, I'm still processing playing the game and I've already been thinking of replaying it because of how much I've enjoyed it. Definitely recommend trying it out.

AND WOWWW this has gotten long oops. Sorry.

I wanna note tho that, although there are aspects of Postal I enjoy, there's a lot of them that I don't, namely the offensive bits, some of them are genuinely fucked up where I can't go past them even in a comedic sense. Which I think is OK. I still enjoy other parts of it :^]

[rui-drawsbox]

hey dude

how did you develop your art style? ive been drawing for years and I cant seem to get a handle on ANYTHING

4 almost 5 days late sorry dude you shot right into my inability to put thoughts into words properly HAHA

alright so first of all, i don't even think a style is something you need to do art. I'm a hobbyist apologist and as long those people enjoy creating it doesn't even have to look "good".

That aside i'm assuming you want to take art at least a little seriously so i'm just going to be straight forward and say that the only way is ping-pong between styles/techniques/themes and just stick with the stuff you feel more comfortable doing.

Now going into my personal experience, that's what you asked after all lolol (from now on this is just yapping so feel free to ignore it)

alr soooo im skipping my first steps into art and going into the humanoid phase. I actually started with sonic! Specifically the show Sonic X, of course i picked up mannerisms from the anime when it was time of doing comedic doodles (and cuestionable taste on fashion)

(im going thru my big inspirations so bear with me here)

2015 came and i discovered my two main inspirations for a long time: fnaf and Ed00chan! (link to her abandoned deviantart so yall can see the style of the time). As i was completely enamored by her anime-yet-cartoony style i was also hyperfixated with fnaf and those two things combined perfectly into (the infamous in the spanish side of the fnaf fandom) fnafhs! bing bang boom there it goes my personality for the next 5 years!

sprinkle a few power puff girls z too why not

anyway at that time i wanted to become a pro like ed00 so i had to understand anatomy, and my go-to channel was Bgm94! But the elders said that to broke the rules you have to understand them, so i just kind-of started doing more "realistic" bodies while maintaining the cartoony-ness i liked so much. Which to be fair, didn't last long before i got bored and jumped straight into cartoon/chibi again

also since we're entering my digital era i'm including some drawings with wild style changes since the experimentation never ends owo9

anyway that was 2018 and before! it was around 2017-18 that i dropped the general tutorials and just started experimenting on my own style/anatomy and trying to improve my skills (im ignoring my sketchbooks bc from now on they just become- well, sketchbooks, instead of doing full drawings i just doodled in classes and leaved the detail for digital stuff)

i would love to include all my 2019 folder bc i consider it was a year full of love for my silly doodles but tumblr has a limit for images HAHA. Hopefully you can see how i go trying out stuff and pick little stuff from every stage with me lolol

2020 hits and you can *see* my hyperfixation with twisted wonderland here, at least my folder is 60% twst drawings i made for my fanfic at the time LOL. Not so many style jumps here tho so let's keep going

2021 and 2022 here! at the second half of 2022 i found my oh so beloved crunchy brush and i also fell hard for Arashi Narukami, so basically my tumblr became an arashi fanpage lol

stuff at 2023 keeps pretty the same until now tbh, the only highlight would be the re-inclusion of noses bc of spiderverse 2. My style also has been pretty well maintained since i started doing commissions so i don't really do so much experimentation anymore, at least not with proportions and such.

alr so that was my journey on artstyle! Of course it's not like you're gonna guess all my process just by looking at the images so i'll say what type of stuff i feel influenced my decisions.

i'm very lazy and for a log time i just abandoned my projects if it prolonged more than a day or two, that obviously made me lean into the cel/plain shading rather than spending hours and maybe days rendering (not that i don't try rendering every now and then but i don't enjoy spending so much time in a single piece)

everyone around me always has been extremely supportive so i had the privilege of dedicating all my soul to drawing silly characters haha, i feel like since i never felt the need of comparing myself to others i could actually experiment so unapologetically with my style until i was satisfied

finding an actual brush that i like is always crucial to me tbh, even in traditional i'm pretty picky with how the ink and type of pen i'm using. Of course, i also tried multiple traditional art techniques (watercolor, acrylics, crayons, pencils, pastels, my favorite are pen+markers)

i dont like feets. that shows until today.

in general i think an artstyle is something extremely personal that every person has to shape themselves and that it can't really be a permanent thing, it's gonna fluctuate with the artist whenever they like it or not.

[grumpymoons]

1

Hello, 

This is maybe my third or fourth attempt at writing something that I feel is acceptable. I keep deleting my writing because I am worried it sounds odd or I am not properly articulating the point I am trying to get across. I wonder if it has actually been bad or if it is just me being hyper critical of myself. I want to write posts that make sense and make other people feel seen. I have not been able to find a blog or social media that talks about all of the things I wish I was seeing. I want to see a young woman my age discussing her struggles as she goes through life. Someone who was just recently diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and PCOS. A girl who is struggling to come to terms with it all. Who is honest about her experiences and struggles. A girl who just simply writes about coming of age in this difficult world we live in.

While there may be these out there, I have yet to find them, but I will keep searching to find connection. For now I will simply do it myself. I will write about everything I can and hope to make at least one person out there feel less alone. Gosh have I felt so alone for so much of my life. Just alone in my brain and my thoughts. This blog is also good for when things do finally change. I will be able to look back when I was struggling to get out of bed, very low on friends, and wishing for it to get better, and be proud of the growth and progress I have made. 

I have been 22 for around 9 months and yet I often still feel as though I am 14, just starting high school and trying my hardest to fit in. I have always felt this desperate need to be liked by everyone around me. That has definitely not happened lol, but I guess in the end being liked should not be a priority. I am working on accepting that by being myself I will draw in people that truly like me for me and not this masked version of myself so many in my life know. 

I guess I have often felt like I MUST keep this fake outward appearance of being okay all the time. The thought of burdening others or bringing them down with my depression and anxiety has been such a fear. I have felt so deeply sad for so much of my life and did not know where to even start when it came to starting the process of healing. Actually I know my depression has brought some others down whith just how deep Ive let it sink into me. It has infected many of the people surrounding me and I am so deeply sorry for that. I often think of the people I have hurt or lost connection with due to me hatingmyself and projecting these fears and anxieties onto others. To growth and change though. I have chosen to accept the pass and all I can do is move forward, right my wrongs, and do better in the future.

Here are some things I have been wanting to write about. 

I have recently been watching Dimension 20’s Freshman Year Dungeons and Dragons game. I have always wanted to get into dnd but have not had a solid crowd of friends that were also interested in things like that. It has been so much fun making my way through their episodes and seeing the wild directions a game can grow. I have been watching maybe two or three episodes a day and I am going to try to keep that up until I finish Junior Year. I wonder how long we will have to wait for senior year IF they even decide to do one. Watching this game has really put into perspective how much of the quote on quote “Nerdy Stuff” I have avoided my whole life. But actually that is not true. I outwardly made it appear like i was avoiding it, but then in secret would enjoy all of these things. If I heard it would make people not like me then I was scared of doing it. That’s such fucking bullshit. So glad I am beginning to actually do the things I enjoy. I like table top games! I like video games! I really like watching twitch streams of people plying my favorite games! Hopefully soon I will be able to join my own first campaign of dnd. That would be fabulous. First I will be starting by creating my character. I believe I have now started a dnd hyper fixation and I am quite excited about it. 

I have come to a realization on my interest in the sex, kink, and fetish category. I have always been so fascinated by it all. Fascinated by the thought of pleasure so great a person is shaking and illegible. The idea of being brought to sub space and how fantastic it sounds. True aftercare from a partner who just wants to take care of me and make sure I am okay in every way. The excitement of how many sub genres there are in the world of sex and kink. I have been reading and watching many things on these topics since elementary school. Ive felt this innate shame about it the entire time though. I think It is important for me to get rid of that shame and accept that I like this stuff and it is okay. It is okay to have many of the kinks I do. I will find a partner who will work with me to figure out if they are things we can take part in together. Actually maybe my current partner will and I just need to push past the fear and talk to him about it all. I guess all we can do is experiment and trust each other. I will be keeping a log of my journey here. 

I have been wanting to write my own story for a while now. At first I was trying to come up with an entirely new idea, but more recently Ive decided to start with something that I already know. I know the Harry Potter universe extremely well. I have been a fan for as long as I can remember. Reading the books, too many fanfictions to count, the movies, and fan made films has been a huge part of my life. I think I will start by writing fanfiction. In fact I have so many ideas I will be able to put into a story. The characters and general backstory are already there. I just need to go into depth a little more on that and then create their future. I will start with Dramione, but I would love to write some marauders ff one day. I adore all of these fanon characters so much. I will also be keeping track of my progress on this blog. 

I love to write and I hope that through blogging more I will learn to articulate my words a lot better. Thanks for reading all of this if you get this far lol.

Moons

[ello-sims]

For the ask game :) 🍇, 🫐, 👜

Thank you for the ask May! 😊

🍇my first sims game - Sims vacation! My mum bought it for me for a birthday present when I was about 13 maybe? Not knowing I needed the base game but my friend lent me that so it was all good (the good old days...).

Gonna stray into some memories because I have some funny ones 😂 I remember I redesigned one of the vacation lots and kinda turned it into a strip with hotels and restaurants on either side of the road, which meant I had to move it (which was just taking off the road tiles and re-drawing them in the centre of the lot). I didn't realise however that the cab that took families home or to other lots wouldn't recognise this new road and potentially there was a building in the way of its pre-determined path so whenever I called a taxi to pick up my family, it would say it was on it's way and never come... lol It took me a while to work out what I'd done and of course, I couldn't fix it because I couldn't access build/buy mode so yeah, they never came home. (Hotel California plays softly in the background).

I also got a random bug which meant every member of a tourist family was called Randy (of all names...). So men, women and children would all be called Randy but with diff last names which really creeped me out and I tried to make my sims stay away from them so these multiple Randy's wouldn't be in their relationship panel. Still not sure how I managed to do that...

🫐How often do you play - I honestly? Don't play a lot? But its because there's always something I want to fix, something I want to default, to price better, move to a more sensible room category etc. I really do still enjoy playing and sometimes when I go quiet for a little bit it's because I'm on a good run of things lol. I always have bodyshop and SimPE open though, always... Once my game completely matches my aesthetic (some times in 2034 at this rate), I'll play all the time though 😂

👜 What in-game career would you like - I initially was going to say journalism because its the closest to writing which I'd love to do as a career (with job security too 😳) but was 'heh, professional party guest, obviously ') but now that I look at the steps properly, it actually seems really fun and varied 😂 so let's go with slacker, but I write a novel in my down time lol

Thank you for the q's! Sorry for the ramble 😂

[corvidjuice]

I've been wanting to start journaling but I don't know how to start. Would you have any tips on how to get into it? What do I even write about?

Sorry it took me a while to answer this, it took me some time to properly form thoughts lol. Also I've never really clicked with "traditional" journaling, my journal is very catchall, so my tips might be a little chaotic, but hopefully some of them help!

Make your journal your go to book: Personally I've found it a lot more inviting and less overwhelming to just find one book I like and use it for everything. Apart from journaling I use it for poem ideas, notes, draft emails, doodles ect. I find it helps to get used to actually using the journal and not feeling like it has to be specific and perfect.

Don't feel stuck to one medium: Find what works for you if just writing isn't clicking try doing simple drawings or short summaries (eg. july 1st read [book], really enjoying it) or sticking stuff in ect. My journal is mostly a mix of little pen drawings/writings about things I enjoyed, writings about problems, and notes/ideas, but there are also a few pages just covered in cathartic pen scribbles lol. In my opinion the most important part of journaling is having an outlet to express yourself fully and privately.

On what to write about: I personally only ever write if i really have something to write about. If I've had a great day or experience I'll write about it (sometimes just clipnotes/headlines so I can jog my memory later). If I'm working through something I like to write a specific question at the top of the page and then write about it until it feels somewhat resolved. There's also loads of prompts for journaling online if you're really stuck/are interested in that!

Journal as a capsule: if you do want more of a capsule/comprehensive memory journal I would recommend finding a frequency that you find easy/comfortable, like if every day feels too much do weekly or even monthly. Journaling shouldn't feel onerous! I did monthly capsules for a while and I'd write a list of my favourite songs that month, stick in any tickets or photos I'd taken, monthly highlights/lowlights, I even think at one point I would put my favourite memes in lol. I don't think it really matters what memories/things you save as long as it's stuff you're driven to save.

In the end i think journaling is really personal so it'll probably be some trial and error until you find what really works for you, also you might find journaling just doesn't feel right for you which is completely okay too. Hopefully some of this helped/gave you ideas!

[chronicbeans]

Random Tales from the Iolite Hospital Info Dump (Aluminum and Dr. Cogsworth Edition)

because whenever I feel sucky I think about this story, mainly these two gremlins. Lol. This includes both info for in story stuff and kinda the creation of these characters, because I just found them interesting to talk about in general. Also this has turned out long as heck so I am writing most of this with my good, painless arm, in case anyone is concerned about me pushing myself. OwO

TW: Chronic Illness, Hospital Setting/Doctors, Mentions of Stalking, Depression/Anxiety, Trauma, Mentions of Possible PTSD, Age Regression Due to Trauma

Aluminum:

He's a little bean that's been with me a good long while before the story was conceived. He actually started out as a random character I would draw to cope with whatever came about in my life (mostly my chronic illness diagnosis, lol. Hence the fact we have the same illness). I usually drew him age regressing, in a sort of "I want to cope via this, but I have nothing to do so, so I shall cope through drawing this small man here doing those activities" sorta way. It actually tricked one of my friends into thinking he was like... 11 instead of 27 because I only drew him regressing. Once I realized I wanted to write a story with him to kinda bring awareness to what my experiences with chronic illness are like, I knew I had to work on his character outside of age regression more, so it has actually become a rather small part of his character at the moment.

In case some couldn't tell, he shares some of my own experiences with me, mostly the severity of his case of eosinophilic esophagitis and his experiences with it. I usually don't really like when authors put too many irl experiences into fictional works or main characters, not because I think they are like... being full of themselves or anything, since a lot of the times I have seen it done, it is to express their own feelings on a topic or because the book was entirely about their own life with a hint of fantasy in it. It just isn't my cup of tea to read, but I respect those who enjoy writing that way or consuming that content. However, due to my story dealing with a lot of sensitive topics like chronic illness and trauma, I kinda decided to have Aluminum share some of my experiences with chronic illness, due to me actually having experience with that specific illness so I can have the main focus being something I can more accurately write for than say... Epilepsy, which I don't have. A lot of his personality traits, though, are original. He is more prone to outbursts of extreme emotion, such as anger or sadness, as well as more open about everything he feels. He is also just more sociable in certain ways. While he won't approach people, the second you talk to him, he will be pretty open about the most random of things. He wanders around more often, be more prone to making assumptions, and can be a bit of a jerk at times, especially when he doesn't mean to be one.

Aluminum, due to being brought into the hospital at 16, never finished high school. He is pretty smart, though. He just doesn't have much info about your basic high school stuff. He has troubles when it comes to math, but when it comes to some random medical fact, he can tell you all about it. This is mostly due to the books in the recreation room mostly involving the conditions others on the C-Floor have, but even before getting put into Iolite Hospital, he researched medical facts so that he could properly take care of a wide variety of kids if he ever got his dream job at a daycare. He doesn't take much time to read about the conditions themselves, mostly hoping for another book on his own so he can keep updated on any news about it, but the most random of facts from them will stick in his mind. He can talk about how photosensitive epilepsy is actually only present in about 3% of epilepsy patients, despite being talked about more often than other types of triggers, like stress, scents, and others. However, if you ask him about say, an algebra problem, he will struggle, no matter how basic it might be.

He's got some pretty strong trauma due to how difficult swallowing pills is for him. Needles have just always been horrifying for him, being made worse due to having to be around one for at least once a week. Pills, however, scare him due to past experiences with them. Nobody would really expect their kid to have a physical condition that causes difficulty swallowing, and since Aluminum always thought the pain of swallowing was a normal thing, he would try to swallow pills. In fact, a lot of the time, his parents would encourage him to try to swallow pills, believing he just had pill anxiety that caused him to swallow it improperly, with a large part of the assumption being that he was diagnosed with anxiety. He always, ALWAYS choked on it or got it lodged in his throat. By now, whenever he so much as thinks of pills, he thinks of all his horrible memories of those events regarding pills, so he avoids them whenever possible. It's not like he can swallow them, anyways, but even crushed pills are frightening, despite him not having to swallow it whole. A few of his doctors and nurses think he might have some mild form of PTSD from those experiences, but since none of them are licensed in the mental health field, they can't be sure. Especially since, either way, he obsessively thinks about a lot of things, and has diagnosed anxiety from before being brought in. So they can't tell if they should treat it like he has PTSD, or anxiety being fed by traumatic events and obsessive thinking.

Aluminum loves mice and deer. Sure, a bit of a strangely specific choice in favorite animals, but he just likes them. He likes mice due to how small they are, as well as the fact that they have been useful in testing related to his illness. He doesn't agree with animal testing, but he can't really stop people from doing it, so he might as well show his appreciation for the species. He likes deer because he finds them pretty. They are also so free out in the wild and one of the most common animals for him to see from the hospital windows. He does get a bit sad when he sees some of the sick deer around the area, which has been getting more and more common, lately. As disturbing as he finds it to think this way, he hopes the very sick deer die, so they don't suffer long. In those moments, he gets lost in a spiral of thoughts, wondering if some people think of him that way.

He has undiagnosed ADHD, with a big part of it being undiagnosed being due to how he got put into the hospital at a relatively young age, and the fact that his anxiety is so bad his therapist couldn't tell if he had ADHD alongside his anxiety, or if his anxiety was so bad it caused ADHD symptoms. Now that he is in the Iolite Hospital, however, he will probably never find out that he has it.

His eosinophilic esophagitis has practically become his identity, but he will always deny it. He knows that it is most likely causing him to just increase his own agony by focusing on it so much and making it a big part of his identity, but he can't help it at this point. He is so focused on the pain and misery it has been causing him, what it stops him from doing, how little people know about it, and anything involving it, that he cannot really see anything else in life. He will, most likely, talk about it to someone he just met, even if he doesn't even know that person's name or anything about them. He says it is because that person needs to know about what foods he can and cannot eat, what it prevents him from doing, etc., but in reality, it is just because he doesn't know how to talk about anything else at this point. Well, the only other thing he knows how to talk about is complaining about everything that has gone wrong in his life, with the main topic still being his chronic illness, but that doesn't really count. It still involves his illness. Any other topic of conversation will get a very short reply from him, as he tries to focus on the conversation, but fails to come up with any reply in response. It would probably go something like "Hey, Aluminum! [INSERT CONVERSATION TOPIC OTHER THAN EOE HERE]. What's your opinion?" "Oh... That's cool... Did you know that my doctor messed up my prescription of dupilumab, again? They freaking rescheduled the next refill again!!! Everything is going wrong!!!"

He knows how he feels, but sucks at explaining it to others verbally. He is pretty good at writing about them, though, but just uses very verbose words compared to most of the other patients, like "malady", "ascertain", or even "phantasmagorical". Due to this, some get confused. Due to Derek having to write down his words, though, he has a pretty large vocabulary, and can tell what Aluminum is trying to say.

Dr. Cogsworth:

First thing first: this man is like... completely contradictory in some ways by design. He runs on strict systems, like how the healthcare system in my country works. For many outsiders, if feels like healthcare providers think "If A is found out, B should be done first. The C factor in the patient's health chart, be it a predisposition to condition D or a bad reaction to B, then we still go with it, taking great care while doing so, despite all the bad that might happen. The patient's emotions only matter if they are causing problems with treatment." Although that is not entirely the case, it can still happen, and is mostly how the Iolite Hospital works. So, that is how Dr. Cogsworth works, due to being designed for it. He looks at things with less of an emotional point of view, seeing things more logically and objectively, despite that logic being broken from time to time.

The contradictory part comes in from him genuinely seeing flaws in both his own design and the design of the hospital's system. No two patients are the same, so not everyone will respond to the same treatments well. So they should treat each patient differently. He doesn't understand his own emotions, though, so it is so hard to understand the emotions of others. From simply knowing why a patient feels bad to trying to read body language, he is absolutely clueless. The most he knows is "frown is bad, smile is good. Why tf are none of my patients smiling?" His attempts at comfort usually always fail, with the few that do succeed only succeeding due to the person desiring a response based on cold logic rather than emotional comfort. When trying to copy others who can give an emotional sort of comfort, it still fails, because his gestures, actions, and words not feeling as though they are done with sincerity. He may be doing the right things, but it is not out of an understanding for the person's emotional state, but simply because he has seen those actions work before.

On the topic of him seeing others doing things... he is like... stalking Aluminum and his friends. Mostly Aluminum, but he does stalk his friends to try to understand what Aluminum wants out of a companion in terms of comfort. It is not necessarily being done out of any obsession with Aluminum or his friends as people, either, though that is a part of the reason. It is almost entirely out of a desire to comfort patients better, to understand how they feel being stuck in the Iolite Hospital, to just... Understand patients, in general. Aluminum just so happens to be the most outspoken one, but never to Dr. Cogsworth. To Dr. Cogsworth, he mostly spits out pure frustration, with next to no intelligible information. To his friends, however, he gives a lot of emotional details, complete thoughts, and more information that Dr. Cogsworth sees as "reliable and useful for research". Even in this situation, however, he fails to defeat the system. So, he will follow Aluminum or his friends around the hospital whenever he has free time, even trying to wriggle his way into his presence during moments when someone else should be present (such as how administering medication should be done by a nurse, and not the GI doctor themself). By relying on Aluminum as the only basis for a patient, he fails to see that not every patient will have the same thoughts, opinions, personality and experiences as Aluminum. Something that Aluminum seeks out for comfort may only worsen another's distress.

He doesn't know why his emotions are blocked. As mentioned a few other times, he has emotions, but just cannot properly express or recognize them. The most he is able to do is talk about how the emotions make him feel physically, which doesn't do much. A racing heart (or in his case, music box) can mean a wide variety of things, like love, anxiety, embarrassment, fear, anger... So everyone is still confused. Unknown to him, a large amount of the time he simply feels apathetic, which could be contributing to his lack of emotional recognition skills, alongside the fact that outside of appointments, he barely gets any true social interaction. The day to day life of going through the same motions involved in appointments hasn't given him much emotional stimulation and what little he did get, he has become entirely numbed from feeling it so often.