#enjoy some more william suffering

[dovewingkinnie]

part 7 to the stitched au (i have returned to it after a few months hello) (previous part) (first part)

[mariocki]

Play for Today: Buffet (BBC, 1976)

"Freddie likes squalid plays."

"I don't think I care for the theatre. If the theatre came to me, then that would be different. One has to go to it."

"I like a play to be about nice people. I like a comedy. I like to be taken out of myself. The plays Freddie likes to see are about squalid people. I like a play to reflect my own problems, I like a play to be about people like ourselves."

[cuteandhughesy]

Adore You | William Nylander

summary: 5 times fans were more excited about meeting and seeing you rather than your boyfriend, william nylander.

4.1k

warnings: SFW! pre-established relationship | fluff | suggestive comments | fans

a/n: based off this request, I hope anon enjoys it as well as you!! I found this style of fic (5+1 esque) was the best way to write this type of fic - so hope you don’t mind :)

link to masterlist

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one: coffee shop

williams hips press into you from behind, urging your further along the line in the cozy toronto cafe. it's a reminder from you boyfriend to pay attention to the moving line, rather than gawking at the large lit up menus hanging behind the counter.

william leans down, pressing a sweet, chaste kiss to your cheek. "you know what you're going to get?"

you whine slightly, clearly undecided. the weather is finally cooling off for the fall seasons, and the autumn themed flavours are very enticing. apple cider, cinnamon, pumpkin, chai....it's all overwhelming.

he laughs at your indecisiveness, used to your inability to make decisions regarding drink related matters, which he always makes fun of you for - obviously.

"what are you getting?" you question, your head falling back to hit your boyfriends chest. the angle allows you to look up at him gently without losing the the press of his hips on your ass.

"i'll probably just get my usual tea - that, and the bran muffin looks really good."

you scrunch your nose in disapproval of his flavour choice. "I don't like bran."

he laughs, "good thing you’re not having any."

you gawk at him, and the sight of his playful eyes shining down at you has you feeling even more appalled. "what If I want some?"

"you'll have to suffer." he shrugs against you, once again moving you forward in the line. you're now only three people away from the cash, and the smell of autumn drinks has become even stronger.

you eye up the menu again. "i'm going to try the cinnamon apple latte - but I kinda want whipped cream, do you think it would be good with whipped cream?"

it's williams turn to pull a face. "no, probably not babe."

"should I get hot chocolate then?"

"hi, sorry," the timid voice of a younger teenager is heard to your left, and instantly your attention is turned away from the confusing menu and over towards the girl. you can tell with you and your boyfriends attention on her, the girl is even more nervous, but she continues on. "is it okay if I can get a picture?"

you smile automatically. you are always so amazed by how much these young kids love your boyfriend and the sport he's built his career in. although it was common for fans to approach william, especially downtown, it was always a nice surprise when it happened.

you move towards her. "I can take the picture if you'd like."

she smiles wearily. "I was hoping you'd be in the picture too, I love you both so much. my mom can take the picture."

you notice now that the girls mom is standing just behind her daughter, a hopeful expression on her face. you wave warmly towards the older woman.

it wasn't uncommon for you to appear in the background of fan photos with your boyfriend, sometimes even being at williams side in a quick snap of a picture, but nobody had ever asked or wanted you to be in the photo on purpose.

obviously you agree, smiling warmly into the camera. in a friendly manner, you loop your arm through the girls, making the photo feel and look more natural and welcoming. on the other side of the teenager, william smiles, slightly bending his knees to look more in line with you and the fan.

his long, muscled arm reaches all the way around behind the girl, and his hand rests soothingly on your back. the fan is extremely thankful, her and her mom happily expressing their gratefulness with sweet handshakes.

when the fan reaches out to you and embraces you in a warm sweet hug, you just about melt.

"how cute was that?" you whisper towards your boyfriend, watching as the two return to their table with what seems like her grandparents, all of them smiling because of your gesture.

"very sweet," william agrees. "you're my little celebrity."

you laugh, gently smacking the back of your hand against his bicep playfully. william's smirk changes as you both approach the counter. the young cashier greets you both kindly, and william immediately orders his tea and a cranberry muffin - you knew you could crack him.

you finally settle on a hot chocolate, your love and craving for whipped cream too strong to ignore. after all, you can get your fall flavoured drink another time.

once you're both home and william headed to the rink for his afternoon practice, you check twitter - your favourite app for social media, gossip source and news. it isn't much scrolling before you find the picture you'd taken earlier with the teen girl.

the on photo caption, which was clearly screenshotted from an instagram story, praises you and how sweet and kind you were in the meeting at the cafe. the comments are so encouraging and nice, filled with compliments directed at you.

the fan interaction was the beginning of many fan encounters with you, and if you didn't know otherwise, you'd think you were the nhl superstar over your boyfriend. 

two: puck for a braclet

during warmups it wasn't very often william would notice or pay attention to fan made signs. he wasn't doing it on purpose, but it was hard to get out of such a focused mode while he was on the ice.

but this night, william just happened to have the urge to stop and take a quick look around the crowded rink. most signs weren't anything special, and a lot were directed at other members of the leafs roster.

a neon pink board automatically caught his eye, and he finds a beautifully decorated sign held by a group of teen girls, all of them giddy as they bang at the glass to try and grab his attention.

the signs reads 'nylander #88 - can we get a puck for a friendship bracelet for you girlfriend.'

the thought of you instantly has him beaming, and without much consideration he scoops two pucks off the cold ice, gliding over to the boards.

he tosses the rubber discs over the glass, which are successfully caught by the two teenagers. in return, they excitedly throw the friendship bracelet over to william. it's a pink braided band, with butterfly charms twisted into the rope. william already knows you'd love it.

from up in the family box, you watch the interaction fondly. although from that high up in the arena, you can't read what the sign says. it isn't until the exchange is displayed on the jumbotron you can properly see the neon pink bristol board.

you watch william skate over to the bench, passing the bracelet off to one of the trainers. they exchange a few words before the trainer jogs off and down the leafs tunnel.

steph marner and aryne tavares are instantly cooing, and steph frowns playfully, wishing mitch's fans would give her gifts as well as just their dog.

you don't really listen to the two girls though, too busy pulling up your text thread with your boyfriend.

you better keep my bracelet safe for me

you send the teasing text just as the leafs finish the warmups and make their way back into the dressing room for the last couple minutes before puck drop.

after the game, before he could even attempt at giving you a greeting kiss, you ask william for the bracelet - wanting to see the sweet gift up close. it was yours, after all.

you gasp, admiring the handmade jewellery with wide eyes. "oh my god, this is the sweetest thing ever - I love my fans." the last part of your sentence is teasing, and it's successful in making william smirk with amusement.

right before gabriella mcCabe makes her way over to you - a usual occurrence after games - you slip the pink bracelet onto your wrist, admiring the charms under the dim lighting of the players hallway.

gabriella, like the mom she is, insists you two pose for a post-game picture, claiming 'you both look so cute and your outfit and new bracelet is to stunning to not capture.'

you end up posting the photo to your instagram story - capturing your and williams matching, bright smiles. the picture is you turned into your boyfriends side, with your hand resting comfortably on his suit jacket, displaying the fan-made friendship bracelet.

you caption it, 'new addition to my jewelry collection ft.my kind boyfriend who exchanged some frozen pucks for the friendship bracelet'

the picture, as well as the video captured interaction between the fans and william go viral in the online hockey community, and the love for you only amplifies from there.

three: autographs

william gathers your attention softly, the 2-1 loss from tonight's game still weighing on his shoulders. although a loss was always devastating for the team, loosing to the bruins was always an extra sting - regardless of how hard the leafs faught.

you look over at him from the passenger seat, just catching his eyes as he shoots you a glance. his blonde hair is such a beautiful contrast to the dark interior of his car, and you're momentarily distracted by his handsome profile.

"kniesy just texted and said there's a couple fans outside, so i'm probably going to stop to say hi and sign some things, you okay with that?"

you love your sweet and caring boyfriend, even after a rough game and long day, he's still willing and wanting to bring happiness to others. you smile gently, reaching over the centre console to gently caress the side of his stubbled cheek, your thumb stroking his cheekbone soothingly. "of course, baby."

he turns the wheel to pull into the exit lane of the scotiabank underground parking unit, and while he waits for the gate to lift, william turns towards you, a grateful expression on his face. "okay, baby, i'm sorry I know how tired we both are." he takes ahold of your hand, pressing a chaste kiss to your palm before returning his grip to the steering wheel.

"don't apologize, I love that you want to interact with your fans." you say sincerely.

once william is securely out of the parking garage,  he turns off to the side road where a small group of fans are gathered, all desperately trying to gather the attention of nhl players. william puts his car in park, and rolls down the window, letting fans have an opportunity to start interacting with him.

you watch your boyfriend display nothing but pure enthusiasm and kindness while interacting with his fans, offering nothing but laughter and smiles as new people approach him, asking for autographs and pictures. the somber mood from loosing the game seemingly seeping away as the interactions continue.

a few fans spot you in the passenger seat, and offer polite waves and greetings. now that you've become more of a recognizable hockey girlfriend online, fan interactions were more common, and you were used to strangers waving at you now.

a young teen boy approaches the open window, timidly asking your boyfriend to sign his hat and for a picture. as william signs the iteam, you notice a young girl with the teen, presumably beside her older brother.

you make eye contact, and you wiggle your fingers in a wave like motion, a smile on your face.

she waves back excitedly, which has laughter bubbling up your throat.

then the little girl, who can't be any older than 7, looks up at your boyfriend, who is chatting with the teenage boy and his father. she pokes william's arm.

her dad scolds her for the rude interruption, but it falls on deaf ears. her tiny hands are holding onto the window, and she smiles a gapped tooth smile at your boyfriend. "is that your girlfriend in the car?"

william laughs at her bluntness and the way she points at you with one blue painted fingernail. he shoots you a glance over his shoulder, meeting your gaze. "it is my girlfriend."

she hums, "she's pretty."

"I know right."

you and william, along with the siblings father laugh at the young girl, basking in her innocent interest. her brother mumbles something about feeling embarrassed, which further adds to your amusement. the conversation doesn't last much longer, and the amount of fans left waiting is dwindling down.

it's a groups of teenagers next, who unlike the last boy, are not shy at all. they immediately start chatting with your boyfriend like they've been friends for years, and william eats it up. he signs various jerseys and leaf memorabilia for the boys, and each one of them takes a selfie with your boyfriend as well.

just before they leave, one of them pauses. "yo, can we get a group photo? and can y/n be in it too?"

you didn't think they noticed you at all, to be honest. which fair enough, you think, you too would also be too interested and distracted by william nylander to notice anybody else in the vehicle. but apparently not.

william turns to you, asking if you mind being apart of a group picture with a group of rowdy, loud teenage boys. you appreciate him asking you as he'd never want to put you in an uncomfortable situation, but you don't mind and agree warmly.

william helps you get into the photo, and as you lean over the centre console, he wraps his arm around your waist, essentially bringing you further over the console. your leather jacket doesn't provide much movement, but you manage to look normal in the photo thankfully.

soon after, william bids goodbye to the fans and pulls his car back onto the main highway. once at a comfortable driving pace, he reaches towards you and gently grips your thigh over top your black jeans. "thanks again for not minding stopping for fans."

you look over at him, smiling at him even though he's focused on the road. you squeeze his hand on your leg. "i'll never be upset with you for wanting to meet and make your fans happy."

"honestly I think they were more excited to meet you, especially those teenagers." william makes an unamused face, teasingly voicing his faux jealousy towards the group of boys wanting you in their picture.

you giggle, interlocking your fingers with your boyfriends. instead of his hand on your thigh, you bring it into your lap, holding your interlocked hands there. "what can I say? i'm a hit."

william shakes his head, an amused grin taking over his face. "yeah yeah."

later when you're home, doing one last scroll of your phone before bed - william and the dogs already snoring beside you - you notice that steph has sent you an instagram post.

when you open the dm thread, you are met with the same group of teenage boys you and william took a picture with - the picture posted to one of their accounts. the caption makes you giggle, reading 'met a superstar smokeshow after the game and nylander was also there.'

steph's dm is accompanied by her mimicking the caption in a teasing matter, and you respond with a million dollar sign emojis.

you like the post and lock your phone. you turn, attempting to cuddle your space heater of a boyfriend but are denied by one of the dogs, his cold nose digging into your neck as he nuzzles into you.

you're so excited to show william the instagram post, ready to tease him by proving that you are in fact the superstar.

four: twitter mania

for your boyfriend, playoffs were always so serious and important, and even though william always managed to joke around and have fun, that didn’t mean he wasn’t feeling the pressure.

for you, playoffs meant dressing in the most fun, stylish outfits and getting tipsy with the other wags. not to say you weren’t always feeling stress and pressure for your boyfriend, and you of course desperately wanted him to have a successful run- but the outfits were your favourite part, providing you with control over something playoff related.

your post was innocent enough, capturing you posing in front of your large mirror on the back wall of your and williams shared closet. the outfit was the main star of the show, and you made sure to push away all your clothes left sprawled over the ground so nobody would be distracted by them.

you’re wearing the team branded playoff bomber, the shiny, satin material catching the light in your closet perfectly. you’ve paired it with a full white outfit, a mock neck long sleeve that you’ve tucked into a pair of high waisted, mom style, white jeans. accompanied with your all white sneakers, you look very sleek and put together, especially with your hair slicked back into a curled, high ponytail and minimalist jewellery (with your now many fan made friendship bracelets).

your mirror selfie had been screenshotted off instagram and uploaded to twitter, where fans immediately started praising you.

user1 omg she’s so stunning

user2 forget willy, I need y/n

user3 the outfit is everything

user4 best wag jackets and best wag

user5 obsessed with her

user6 beautiful.

user7 she’s is so iconic

user8 look at all those friendship bracelets - she’s such a cutie

user9 we really started a new friendship bracelet trend in the nhl wag community

user10 yeah but only the leaf wags can rock them the way they do

user11 y/n is everything

and the comments continued through hundreds of replies. your instagram story was shown the same love, with fans liking the story and replying. you made sure to like and respond to every sweet message, thanking them all for the unconditional love and respect.

five: the jumbotron

unlike the first couple games of the playoffs, your outfits had become very…unique. you couldn’t help yourself and you let the superstitions from when you were first dating william come back to take over. when he’d play in sweden, you’d always deck yourself out in team memorabilia, and often you’d get into colourful face paints to complete the look. william loved it and always said your support was his lucky charm.

as you both got older, and william became a more serious member of the leafs team and the organization, you toned down your outfits for games, choosing - more sleek, professional style.

but with the boys trying to push the series against the bruins to a game 7, you knew you had to fall back into your old superstitious ways. you’ve got on williams black jersey, and you’ve paired it with black leather pants to try and maintain some dignity. you’re hair is down this time, but you caved and painted a sparkly blue maple leaf on each of your cheeks.

it was definitely a more controlled and toned down version of what you used to do back when you and william started dating, but the look was still fun and calmed the superstitious urges.

you and tessa, who you’d also convinced to paint a sparkly leaf on her cheek, chose to sit with the crowd for the game, something you’d rarely do now that you had a more online presence. william was always nervous of the idea, especially because the fans can get so rowdy this time of year, but you promised you’d be fine with tessa, and the fans are more focused on the game than you.

between periods, the media team was having a die-hard fan cam, moving through the arena and displaying some unique fan outfits and looks on the jumbotron. you and tessa were watching, sharing laughter as various ages were excitedly repping leaf themed outfits.

and then, you and tessa are suddenly looking at yourselves on the jumbotron. you laugh loudly, hiding your face briefly in tessa’s shoulder. the fans get loud, cheering excitedly as your names and titles are displayed at the bottom of the jumbotron. you both wave, smiling at the outpouring love from the jam packed arena.

for the rest of the intermission, you get fans coming up to you in clusters, asking for pictures with you and tessa. you both oblige happily, smiling with glitter cheeks as you pose with mostly little girls and teenagers.

once the crowd dies down, you pull out your phone and text william.

I was on the jumbotron with tessa and the fans loved it- im coming for you and your career honey 😉

you giggle to yourself, pocketing your phone as you’re not expecting a response until the game is over. throughout the rest of the game (which thankfully was won by the leafs), fans would come up to you both, expressing their love and asking for selfies - including carlton the mascot, which was posted to the leafs instagram captioned, ‘some of carlton’s favourite fans.’

it was all very sweet and surreal and even now, you can never fathom the amount of joy and support fans of the leafs express for you.

bonus: the amazon prime documentary

you and william make the familiar walk down to your favourite cafe, both dogs weaving around your legs as you trek hand and hand with your boyfriend.

this time is different than the last, as the amazon prime camera crew was following behind you, capturing william in all his domestic glory.

he squeezes your hand, “know what you’re going to get this time?”

this time you nod definitively. “I’m getting a hot chocolate with whipped cream, it’s been too good to change.”

william nods with a hum, “i’m getting a muffin.”

“cranberry?” you question hopefully as you remember the burst of flavours melting on your tongue the last time william got the cranberry flavoured treat.

he shrugs, “if that’s what you want.”

you squint up at him playfully. “such a kiss ass infront of the cameras.”

william laughs his usual cackle, because you know him too well. instead of answering, william lets go of your hand in favour of wrapping his puffy coat covered arm sound your shoulders, pulling you into his side.

one of the dogs bumps into your legs, which sends your knees buckling slightly. he can’t help it, he’s excited with all the attentions he’s been getting today and now that you’re not showering him with love, the puppy is confused.

you huff gently, thankful for william’s grip on you, otherwise you would’ve probably tumbled to the ground from the force of your dog. “we really need to start bringing leashes.”

he chuckles, “they’re fine.”

“no babe, they need a leash.” you insist gently, watching the way the dogs drop to the ground beside you, rolling around the melting snow as they jaw at one other playfully.

william knows you’re right, but will never admit defeat. instead he pulls you closer with a sneaky smirk, and he leans down, pressing a series of quick kisses all over your face.

the camera captures the whole interaction, from the way you giggle at the tickly feeling of williams beard on your face, to the way you finally give in, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips right before entering the cafe - both dogs happily at your feet.

months later when the amazon prime documentary goes public, the clips of you and william go viral. fans obsess over the cafe walk clip, often taking the video, adding sweet romantic music over it and captioning it with something kind and wishful.

there’s a few other clips in william’s episode that included you - ones that you had even forgot they filmed. you watch back as you warmly embrace willy after a game, right after another loss to the bruins. you watch his body language shift hugely, looking more relaxed and full of relief as you soothingly rub his back, the dogs of course prancing around your and william’s legs.

another clip captured the two of you watching football on the couch, cozy under the blankets after a filling dinner. the room was dim, and the dark lighting combined with william’s warm body and long tiring day, you’d been caught sleeping against your boyfriends arm - on camera.

you watch with embarrassment, looking at yourself seemingly slumped with your messy hair and fuzzy lounge attire. in the clip, william points to you with a teasing smirk, alerting the camera crew to your sleeping state. “she can fall asleep anywhere, I swear.” his voice is quiet, trying not to wake you.

the producers voice is also a soft whisper. “is this kind of evening a reoccurring thing?”

william nods slowly. “absolutely. y/n always insists on picking the movie, promising to not fall asleep, but like every night, here we are.”

the camera moves towards the tv where the first 30 minutes of legally blonde are still playing, a movie that yes, you had begged william to watch with you.

the fans love that video more than any of them, and for the first month after the prime documentary, your social media is filled with you dozing against william’s arm.

without meaning to, you completely overshadowed william in his own documentary episode. it’s not like you did anything for that result, the fans had absolutely obsessed over you and your relationship that it’s all the posted and talked about - even over william yelling at his own teammates.

you were clearly the fan favourite, but william can’t be upset because you’re also his favourite person, so he understands why his fans love you so much.

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a/n: make sure you check out my other william nylander published works and stay tuned for more william nylander !

[formula-ghost]

Read Your Diary (FC43 x fem!reader)

Chapter 2: Own My Mind

CHAPTER SUMMARY: You might have finally admitted to yourself that you have feelings for Franco, but that doesn’t make the deep longing you feel for him any easier. And he's starting to make you question if he might feel the same longing for you, too.

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT 18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Reader is a lil freak, use of YN, mentions of anxiety disorders/therapy, reader has self esteem issues

TAGLIST: @scopeiguess

A/N: Thank you so much for all the love on part one! I never expected my first chapter to get any notes let alone over 200 notes in just a few days. Seriously every single note has me kicking my feet and turning my eyes into little heart emojis lol. I’m already about 2k words into ch 3 so I am hoping I’ll finish it before I have to travel for the holidays (I will not be able to write at all while I’m gone). Also, I had a request for someone to be tagged in this chapter, so let me know if you all would like me to start a permanent tag list. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Oh it’s automatic, you know I just gotta have it

I’ll make your body a habit

You know there’s some kind of magic, uh huh

Do you wanna, do you wanna, own my mind, own my mind?

The Singapore Grand Prix was later that night. Franco did really well considering the circumstances. It was disgustingly humid, and when he was done you could tell he felt awful. You were so angry at everyone at Williams for letting him race like that. Yes, it was his job, but that was your friend out there suffering—your friend who you had just admitted to yourself yesterday that you were in love with.

You watched him from afar when he spoke to the media afterwards. His curls were plastered down to his forehead with sweat, and his skin was pale and clammy. You just wanted to hold him and tell him that you were proud of him. Instead you had to settle for keeping an eye on him in the chaos of the paddock post-race, and helping him back to the hotel with his mother.

She had to get on an early flight, so she left and you promised her you’d stay until he was okay. She was worried about him, and you were too. God, seeing him so sick broke your heart. You helped pack up his things while he took a cold shower and he emerged in just a towel wrapped around his waist. He seemed to be feeling much better thankfully, and his more playful mood reflected it.

Of course, you snuck a glance or two at his sculpted form. Just a peek at his wet curls, the water droplets running down his chest—even the scar on his collarbone that he always tries to hide. He thinks it’s ugly. You think there isn’t a single part of him that’s ugly.

You tried to ignore him and continued tidying up. “I hope you don’t expect me to tip you,” he joked.

You playfully rolled your eyes. “What else are you going to do with all your stripper money?”

“Well, if we’re stripping…” he said, slowly lowering his hand down to his hips, palming the towel. You stomped to the bathroom, out of view of whatever joke he was making. “Get dressed, you man whore,” you instructed.

You lived for the banter you all had—at times, it felt like your own language separate from the rest of the world. The audience could hear Franco’s humor, but they’d never understand it like you did.

When you left the bathroom he was thankfully (or, unfortunately) fully clothed, lying on the bed and lazily scrolling through his phone.

“I’m glad you seem to be feeling better,” you said.

“Well, better than I was, but still kind of like shit,” he responded with a sigh.

“Well, you can get some rest, I’ve got you pretty much all packed up so you’ll be ready to go tomorrow.”

He put his phone down and gave you a soft smile. “Thank you.” He paused for a moment, as if he was readying himself to say something, and looked at the floor away from you. “YN, would you… stay? Just in case I get worse, you know.”

You could tell by the color in his face that he was feeling better, but how could you deny him this small comfort, when his eyes met yours through his long eyelashes, a sliver of light from the street lamps outside cutting through the drawn curtains and resting on his face? He was so beautiful. And he wanted you to stay.

“Of course,” you said. You were going to get up from the corner of the bed where you now sat and move to the chair until he fell asleep, but instead he motioned for you to lay down on the bed next to him. Tentatively, you did, heart racing as he laid his head on your shoulder and curled his body into you.

His playful flirting was normal, but this was… different, a closeness beyond what was usual between you two. You could feel the warmth of his skin, his breath steady against you. Yes, your heart was beating, but you felt strangely calm. Peaceful. In this moment all that mattered was you and your best friend, quietly sharing a moment in each other’s presence.

Your hand, trembling, reached down to smooth a piece of his hair. He hummed in response, to which you quickly moved your hand, mumbling, “Oh, sorry.”

He just grabbed your hand and wordlessly placed it back on his head. Slowly, you began to run your fingers through his beautiful curls. You got lost in the moment, and soon enough, you felt his breath even out as he fell into a peaceful sleep. Soon enough, the stillness of the moment and the soft rise and fall of his breathing lulled you to sleep too.

You woke just as the sun was beginning to illuminate the sky outside. You had an unfortunate habit of waking up in the middle of the night—a common symptom of anxiety, your therapist had told you—but for the first time in a long time, you slept through the night soundly.

You and Franco had shifted, and he know had his arm lazily wrapped around you. You remembered the previous night and felt your heartbeat increase. It wasn’t just the feeling of his arm draped across your waist, but the feeling of…. something else. A little… morning problem.

Of course, you knew Franco couldn’t help it. He wasn’t even awake, and from your years of friendship you knew how much of a heavy sleeper he was. It was just an uncontrollable biological phenomenon. Nothing more.

But you couldn’t stay, feeling him pressed against you like that. It felt wrong and you were so nervous you could hardly breathe. So you carefully wiggled your way out of his grasp and quietly left his room, returning to your own.

Returning to your hotel room, all you knew to do to calm yourself down was to write. So you opened your journal and wrote all about the scene; the dinner, the banter, waking up next to him in the morning sunlight.

You wrote until your hand started to cramp. Then you went back to read what you had written, skimming over it, your mind only picking up on little snippets.

Lily thought I was Franco’s girlfriend, and I guess I can’t blame her. He’s such a flirt, I love and hate it. I just wonder if it ever means anything to him. I mean, he treats random reporters the same way he treats his girlfriends. What does he do when he actually wants someone?

He asked me to stay. I thought he must still be sick, but he just wanted me to… cuddle? I ran my fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. He looked like an angel, so soft and innocent, resting next to me. I wanted to kiss him so badly.

But when I woke up, I could feel his morning wood pressing against me. God, it was so awkward. But I can’t stop thinking about it, what he would do if he really wanted me.

Oh no. Oh no no no. You shouldn’t write that kind of stuff. Having a crush was one thing, but thinking about him like that? It was…wrong. Franco was your best friend. Your best friend who was absolutely perfect—yes, physically as well.

You threw your journal on the bed with a grunt of frustration.

You were fucked.

Your heart beat nervously as you walked into the waiting room before your next therapy session. It had been a week or so since Singapore when you had finally admitted the truth to yourself.

Yes, you had feelings for Franco. Emotional and… physical. No, you had no idea what to do with them.

Waiting for the clock to strike the hour, you reached down into your bag to run your fingertips along the spine of your leather journal. You had been writing incessantly in it since that night.

And if you thought that your fantasies were bad then, oh, it had gotten so much worse.

You told yourself you couldn’t help it. You were ovulating. You’d been single for a while. You were a girl with needs. But you felt disgusted, basically writing porn about your best friend.

I keep imagining that night at the hotel in Singapore, when he came out of the bathroom with just his towel on. In my mind, he sits on the edge of the bed like always, hand carefully placed at the top of his towel. His hair is dripping and his skin is still dotted with water droplets.

He doesn’t even have to say anything. The way he looks at me—eyes looking up through his gorgeous lashes, his pouty lips looking so lonely—I know exactly what he wants. So I get on the bed and straddle him, the only thing between us being my skirt, panties, and the thin fabric of the towel. I can feel him, how badly he wants me.

Then I’m in control, kissing his neck, leaving love bites up and down so that everyone knows he’s mine. He moans softly into my ear, bucking up his hips into me for just a bit of friction. “No,” I tell him, “I didn’t give you permission for that.” He whines in protest, but I just smile at his frustration. “My sweet boy…”

Even remembering what you wrote felt filthy. You wanted him—all of him.

I had a dream last night that Franco dominated me. We are in his apartment, arguing about something stupid, and he pushed me against the wall, kissing me roughly, like he couldn’t get enough of me. He holds me waist with his strong hands as his kisses get deeper.

“I need to taste you,” he growls into my mouth, picking me up and throwing me on the bed. Before I can react he’s on top of me, one hand holding my chin and the other fumbling with the zipper of my jeans. “Are you going to be good for me?” he asks, and I frantically nod.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, smirking, as he pulls off my jeans and my panties with it—

“YN? You can come in now.” You’re pulled from your daydreaming by the voice of your therapist. You close the journal, embarrassed, but not without her seeing it in your hands.

“I hope you’re doing well. I see you’ve got a journal, you’ve been writing in it, I take it?” she asked as you sat down in the familiar office.

“Yeah, I have,” you answered, clutching it tightly in your folded hands.

“Well, that’s great! Has it been helping you?”

“Um… I guess?”

“Explain more.”

You paused, unable to think. All you could do was blurt out the truth.

“I’m in love with my best friend.”

“…Okay.” Your therapist also paused. “Did your writing bring about this revelation?”

You tumbled through the rest of the session, trying to explain what happened without revealing too many intimate details.

“I just feel… horrible I guess. It’s so dumb. It’s not like he’ll ever feel the same way about me.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, he’s so… perfect. And I’m an anxious mess,” you laughed.

“Is anxiety that much of a barrier to being loved?”

You laughed, considering the gravity of her question. You couldn’t truly answer it. “It shouldn’t be. But I just know he’d never choose me and that’s okay. He doesn’t even know how I feel, and even if I had the courage to tell him, I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“Does it bother you, not being able to tell him about all of this?”

“….yeah, it does, actually,” you admitted. "I'll never do it but... I just wish I could, you know?"

"I understand. Why not start with expressing your feelings platonically? Telling him what he means to you as a friend?"

"I guess I could do that." You didn't quite know how you'd accomplish that, but you weren't in therapy just to refuse to try anything. You wanted to do hard things. You needed to do them.

So you made it your mission, next time you saw Franco, to tell him something meaningful. You weren't sure what it would be or how it would come out, but you'd at least try.

Unfortunately, it was a while before you'd see Franco again. There were a few weeks between Singapore and Austin, and between race prep with Williams and sponsorship deals, Franco was up to his ears in work. You still talked, of course—you texted back and forth every day—but it just wasn't the same, and you missed him horribly.

You'd felt this before, the ache in your stomach that longed for his presence when you'd gone too long without seeing him. You figured it would be different now that you had finally admitted to yourself what this feeling was. You didn't expect it to be worse.

Because now that feeling in your stomach was sharper. You didn't just yearn for the mere concept of him—you wanted everything. You missed his smile. You missed hearing his voice rise and fall in intonation as you bantered back and forth. You missed his perfect curls smoothed across his forehead. You missed the feeling of his arm wrapped around you, whether in a friendly embrace or something more intimate, like you'd had in Singapore. And in the back of your mind, you missed the feeling of Franco's hardness pressing against your back, a sign of what you fantasized was a deep wanting for you, both physical and emotional.

You tried, and failed, to rein in these fantasies. But with the more days that passed, the more Franco began to feel less and less like your best friend, and more and more like the version of him you'd created in your head, desperate for you more than anything else in the world.

You wrote all of this down, of course. If you hadn't you would have lost your mind with lust. Romantic pining was nothing new to you—you'd had a boyfriend before, although what you felt for him paled in comparison to Franco—but this intense physical desire you felt was new.

You had never been satisfied by anyone, anything, before. You smiled to yourself as you thought, well, I guess it's true what they say about the quiet, shy ones.

And Franco, unbeknownst to him, wasn't making it any easier. He called you one day, the first phone call you'd had in a while, a few days before you'd be flying out to Austin for the grand prix.

"I'm sorry I've been so busy," he explained, "but the stuff we're doing is so cool."

"Am I allowed to know, or is it top secret?" You smiled through the phone.

"Well... I can't tell you everything just yet, but I can give you a sneak peek. Check your messages."

You felt your phone vibrate, receiving a notification from Franco. You tapped on the text and nearly dropped your phone. He had sent you unedited pictures from a photoshoot, and he looked fucking amazing.

His voice on the other end of the line explained, "I'm gonna be on the cover of Forbes Mexico for the race. What do you think?"

At first, you were quite literally speechless. "Franco, you look..."

"Gorgeous? Sexy? Like the most fuckable Formula 1 driver?" he teased. For a split second, you wondered if it was possible to hear a blush through the phone.

His banter inspired your own. "... not bad. I mean, you certainly give them a lot of work to do to make you look good, but they did pretty decent."

If human beings could hear a blush through a phone, you were sure the noise that Franco made would be indicative of one. "Oh, shut up and tell me I'm pretty."

A million potential responses went through your head. Make me. Beg for it. My pretty boy.

Instead you just laughed and said, "No, really, you look great. This is amazing. You know the entire internet is going to lose their minds after this drops?"

He smiled. "That's the plan."

It still hadn't been released by the time you made it to Austin, but you weren't complaining. A part of you liked having this piece of Franco all to yourself. You kept going back to the photos again and again—his glare at the camera, his arm draped over a steering wheel—you couldn't get enough.

And when he met you at the airport in Austin (even though you told him it wasn't necessary), all that want came rushing back the instant he wrapped you in a hug that lasted a little too long to be considered platonic.

You couldn’t let your thoughts go that far. You’d already crossed a line by allowing yourself to feel such… intimate emotions for him. But to even imagine that he really wanted you to? No. That was where you actually drew the line.

But unfortunately, Franco’s confusing behavior made it far too easy for you to believe that he didn’t feel the same.

You all didn’t talk about that night in Singapore, or the fact that he must have woken up alone. You’d rather throw yourself into a pit of knives than talk about it and have to bear the embarrassment, and Franco didn’t seem bothered at all, so you let it go to the back of your head, acting as if it never happened at all. Your first day in Austin was fine, mainly spent recovering from jet lag and exploring the city on your own while Franco did his media duties. You had dinner with him that night and it was like no time had passed. The banter was the same, the atmosphere was great, and you were so happy to be back in his presence again.

As he walked you to your hotel room, you remembered your promise you had made to yourself, that you’d try to practice being vulnerable. For some reason, you didn’t have it in you today. You were tired, in a good way, but all you wanted was to curl up next to Franco and wake up in his arms the next morning.

And of course, you assumed Franco would want to stay. Why else would he walk you back to your room? Maybe it was the nervousness of the implication—you and Franco, alone in your hotel room—that prevented you from saying anything, or maybe you just knew that now wasn’t the right time.

Either way, there was no moment. Franco just bid you goodnight with a wave and left to his own room.

You didn’t know what you were expecting. He just didn’t like you like that, and it was okay. You didn’t want to ruin the friendship.

But you also couldn't help but feel a bit...disappointed. You cursed yourself for letting your fantasies become too real. It would be weirder if he had tried something.

Still, you dealt with these complicated emotions the only way you knew how: writing. You opened the journal and began to write away, not even stopping to think, just vomiting words on the page.

We're in Austin right now. It's been...normal. Good. Which is weird, considering that last time we were at a grand prix we spent the night together. It's not like that, but I can't help but think that something is just...different. I keep thinking about what my therapist asked, about anxiety being a barrier to love. Franco has always supported me, or tried to at least. I haven't exactly made it easy for him, or anyone else, since I bottle things up so much.

But he doesn't love me, not like that, anyways. He dates models—I mean, God, he is a model now—and I'm just me. I'm not exceptionally pretty or smart or funny. I'm nobody.

I can't help but fantasize about how things could be different. I imagine us going on a fancy date. He's wearing that suit he did the Mexico photoshoot in, with the top shirt buttons undone to tease me. He picks me up from my apartment at 8 with a bouquet of pink roses (not red, red is too cliche; but I guess I can't complain, no man has ever bought me flowers). I'm wearing that dress I got the last time we visited Argentina together—the one that hugs all my curves just right, and it's his favorite color. The dinner is sweet. We savor the time together, since it's more scarce now that he's a permanent driver in F1. We've had a few glasses of wine, just enough to get us slightly giggly and blushed, our inhibitions long abandoned. In the back of the Uber he traces his hand up and down my thigh, each time teasing scandalously closer and closer to the place I need him the most. 

The ride is torturously long, but when we arrive back at his apartment, he wastes no time in getting me alone so he can have his way with me. He picks me up bridal style and kisses me through my drunken laughter, a smile on his face, too. He lovingly tosses me on the bed before taking off his jacket. I just look at him in awe. He’s so fucking perfect. And he’s all mine. He gets on top of me, kissing me gently, and no words need to be exchanged between us. I can feel the tenderness of his lips against mine, and he pauses, looking me directly in the eyes. The moment is quiet and I feel so safe and loved with him, until our lips crash together and his hand finds its place on my thigh again. It trails up and

There was a knock at your door. 

You jumped, startled. Getting up and looking through the peephole in the door, you saw it was just, of course, Franco, so you hurried to open the door.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“You left your lipstick in my pocket,” he smirked, holding out the tube to you.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, having forgotten about asking him to hold it earlier at dinner since your outfit didn’t have pockets. 

“You didn’t even notice that I stole it.” It was true. You had completely forgotten about it with all your journaling. 

“Well, the shade would look good on you,” you teased. 

He playfully rolled his eyes. “It’s no fun pranking you when you don’t even notice. Keep up, hm?” Franco loved to play little tricks on you like this, and usually you played right into them, knowing that the fun of his taunting outweighed whatever consequence the prank itself would bring. 

“You’re impossible,” you said, smiling regardless. “Now, if you’re done stealing my stuff, I’m exhausted.” You went to close the door, assuming this to be the natural end of the exchange, until Franco took a step into your room and rested his weight on the doorframe.

“Not exhausted enough to skip your… journaling?” he said, looking over your shoulder.

Shit. Shit shit shit. You hadn’t closed your journal. 

“Since when do you journal?” he asked, leaning forward as if he was trying to make out the words from across the room.

If you had been smarter, smoother with it, you probably could have lied and said it was for work, then proceeded to rant about your remote corporate job which would have bored Franco to tears. But smart and smooth with it are two things that you are not.

You swiftly turned around to grab the journal and slam it closed, holding it in a death grip. Your absence from the door, however, had been interpreted by Franco as an invitation to come in. And it was clear by the urgency of your actions that whatever was in that journal was something you did NOT want him knowing.

You answered him, “I haven't been doing it very long.” There was a brief moment where you considered ending the conversation there. It was too late to formulate a good lie, anyway. But on the other hand, you wanted to do hard things and be honest with yourself and others. So you did. At least your therapist would be proud.

So you continued, “It was a suggestion from my therapist. Just helps you get your thoughts out so they aren’t all stuck in your head.” Simple enough. It was the truth, after all. He didn’t need to know what those thoughts were.

“Can I read it?”

You paused in bewilderment. “Um, no? Franco, what the fuck?”

“What?”

“You don’t just… ask to read someone’s personal journal.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s personal, you muppet!”

“Really? Stole that one from Lando?”

“It fits." You snorted. "But seriously, why would you ask to read my journal?” 

“Because I never know what you’re thinking. You’re impossible to figure out.”

“... I am?”

“Yes, you are.”

“Well why don’t you just, I don’t know, ask me what I’m thinking?”

“... I know you did not just say that.”  He made a face at you. Yeah, he was right. If you were skilled enough at communicating your emotions you wouldn’t have needed to start the journal in the first place. He continued, “You were literally dying in Singapore and when I asked you what was wrong you said you were fine.”

“Hey, I made it to quali alive,” you replied. 

“Look, I just… It would be nice to understand where you’re coming from a bit more, like… actually nevermind, forget I ever said anything.” Your confusion only lingered as Franco clearly struggled to find the words. You guess that this was how he felt communicating with you sometimes—it sucked.

“Whatever, you weirdo,” you said, your joking tone an indicator to him that you were willing to act as if this horribly embarrassing exchange had never happened. 

“Goodnight, YN,” he said as he left the room, ending the conversation like that. Now it was your turn to be confused by his actions. There was something he clearly wanted to say but couldn’t, and you let yourself wonder, just for a second, if what was happening to you wasn’t so different from whatever was going on in his head.

You let your fantasies lull you into sleep.

Again, you let… whatever was happening between you and Franco go unsaid and focused on supporting him for the grand prix. 

From the Williams garage, you cheered him on as he got another point, overtaking Alonso so skillfully. When he came back to the garage, you met him as you always did, with a smile that stretched across your entire face. Your hug this time was different, as he picked you up and twirled you around. You laughed into his shoulder, holding on to him as he spun you.

He put you down and was immediately assailed by hugs all around from the Williams team. Lily, who had been in the garage by your side the whole race, elbowed you in the side. 

“So, you and Franco are just friends, huh?” she teased. You all had become friendly enough that a little bit of banter was acceptable. 

You inhaled with a soft smile, watching him celebrate in the distance. Once again, you chose vulnerable honesty. 

“Yes, we’re just friends. But it’s…complicated.”

Her eyes widened and she turned to you, shielding you off from the celebratory scene. In a lowered voice, she muttered, “You have feelings for him?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Unfortunately, yeah. But c’mon, he just spun you around like a Disney princess. He obviously has feelings too. And have you seen what the fans are saying about you all?”

“No?” You were surprised the fans even knew you existed. You had cut down on social media a long time ago, knowing how much it contributed to your anxiety and self-esteem issues. You still had accounts, but all were private and hardly used, and you didn’t interact much with fans at the races, preferring to stay in the garage or in Williams hospitality to enjoy the races without worrying about what people were thinking of you.

“They love you two. Seriously, I think there’s gotta be a million teenage girls living vicariously through you.”

You laughed at her comment, not in a mocking way, but because of the absurdity of it all. None of these people really knew you, or Franco, for that matter. It just proved your point that social media wasn’t real.

So if people on social media were shipping you and Franco, then it couldn’t be true. At least, that’s the confusing logic you held yourself to. A line had to be drawn somewhere.

Your conversion with Lily was cut short by Franco approaching. “Celebratory dinner later?” he asked, still beaming. You agreed.

If you could have bottled the energy that Franco exuded all day after the race, you would have had yourself a very lucrative energy drink company. As he was packing up his things to leave the circuit, you all passed by barriers where fans were practically crawling their way to get to him, screaming his name and waving Argentine flags in the air. He tilted his head to them as you passed, and asked, “Can I?”

You were in no rush, and of course you could never deny him this moment to enjoy what he had built with all his hard work. He stopped to sign shirts and caps while you stood behind. Everyone had their phones out, filming Franco, but you knew you’d inevitably end up in the background. You just hoped you didn’t look too awkward. 

Franco turned his head back to you as the crowd behind the barrier just grew more and more excited. “You see this, YN? This is insane!” his smile stretched from ear to ear, and you just smiled in response. He climbed up the fence, eliciting a small giggle from you, and filmed the crowd below him chanting his name.

You had never been more proud of him. And you had to say it. 

So you did, after dinner when you all somehow ended up in his hotel room together again. The atmosphere was…calm. Familiar. Warm.

The conversation had reached a natural pause, and the night had gotten to that point where that space between you and him felt simultaneously infinite and nonexistent. 

He sat crossed legged on the bed, fiddling with something in his suitcase next to him. You sat on the chair only a few feet away.

“I’m so proud of you, Franco. I don’t tell you enough.”

He looked up and your eyes met. And he blushed. You had made Franco Colapinto blush.

“When did you get all sappy on me?” he asked. There was still a bit of a wall up. It was unusual for you all to be this vulnerable with each other.

“Since my best friend in the entire world is achieving all his dreams! I mean, we’re celebrating points now, but one day we’ll be celebrating podiums. And then race wins. And then championships. I believe it.”

The room was draped in a thick silence. Franco knew you didn’t throw these words around carelessly. And the unspoken implication, that you’d be there for all of it.

“I believe it too,” he said quietly. There was no ego in his statement. Only true hope.

[wannabespacesmuggler]

L.H. | When You Call My Name

Masterlist | Buy me a coffee

Summary: Decades after the events of 1973, Logan finds himself drowning yet again at the bottom of the Potomac River. Luckily, you're there to help pull him out of his nightmare.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader

Warnings: depictions of drowning, mentions of death, discussion of nightmares, Logan's claws make an appearance, mentions of religious trauma and biblical imagery, mentions of abuse (it's on sight when I see you, William Stryker), mentions of self-deprecating thoughts, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, not really a warning but set after the events of Days of Future Past, loosely based on "Like a Prayer" by Madonna, Logan's POV, gender-neutral reader

Word Count: 2.4K

Author’s Note: So this one got away from me and my own religious trauma may have taken over a tad bit — sorry in advance (If you find comfort and solace in religion, more power to you. This is simply written from my own perspective and lived experience.) This came to me while listening to "Like a Prayer" by Madonna for the thousandth time since seeing Deadpool and Wolverine. Intended this to be shorter, but then I got possessed by some fanfic phantom and this was created. Super proud of the finished product though — hope you all enjoy.

As Logan’s eyes shoot open, he’s only got one thought running through his mind: his lungs are on fire. He attempts to move but is met with a sudden searing white pain shooting through his veins. His eyes, still adjusting to the eerie darkness surrounding him, search for the source of his injury. Panic rises in Logan’s chest as his gaze follows the metallic glint of rebar weaving through his body. He attempts to draw in a shaky breath, and his chest burns as water fills his lungs. 

No. 

It can’t be.

He’s drowning at the bottom of the Potomac River.

Logan wants to scream out of frustration, but it’s impossible. He has no more air left in his lungs, and he has no hope of reaching the surface to take a much-needed deep breath. Even if he could endure the agony caused by his body’s movements, the weight of the rebar Erik impaled him with is pinning him to the riverbed. He’s going to die here. 

Cold. Alone. Suffering.

And yet, a sudden tranquility washes over his body and mind as he realizes that maybe he can finally rest in peace. He knows he placed his trust in the right people — somehow, Charles and Hank will find a way to stop Erik, and finally, the world will see that not all mutants need to be feared. He did his part — he brought everyone back together against all odds.

Logan knew the risks before Kitty sent him back in time, but there was no other choice. Because he also knew what the future would hold if he did nothing — he’d watch the sentinels eviscerate the last of his friends until he was the only one left. And that’s not a future he can live with. But what he can live with is no one remembering his life before 1973 as long as they’re safe — as long as you’re safe.

His body relaxes at the thought. He may not have a future with you in this new timeline, but knowing you’ll have the life you’ve always dreamed of puts Logan’s mind at ease. You’ll finally be able to live a peaceful life teaching at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters instead of being forced to play the part of a loyal soldier. Although Logan is deeply saddened by the fact he won’t be a part of this new life, he has more than enough memories of you from his timeline to keep him content in the afterlife.

Logan’s eyes flutter closed as he begins to feel himself slipping into unconsciousness. His regenerative abilities may be able to keep the rebar from killing him, but it cannot save him from asphyxiation. But before he can completely drift off, something grabs his body, pulling him towards the surface. Once free from the river’s grasp, he begins coughing up water. His body desperately gasps for air, and it feels like his lungs cannot get enough oxygen. 

Logan finds the strength to open his eyes and takes in his surroundings. It’s bright — too bright. He blinks several times to adjust his vision to this sudden change. His attention gets drawn to the sound of several men talking in hushed voices. And as he looks up at his rescuers, the panic in his chest starts growing like a wildfire through his body. Logan might have let out a dry laugh at the sight if he wasn't in excruciating pain. Because instead of being met with any type of salvation, Logan seems to have been cursed with eternal damnation, no matter the timeline,  in the form of William Stryker. Some things never change.

He’s younger than when Logan met him in his timeline, but as Stryker smiles down at him, Logan knows this is the same man — the same sick, twisted man he knows all too well. Panic turns into terror as he realizes what he’s about to endure. Agonizing years of torture and torment that he’ll be burdened to forget. He can’t do this again. Not after knowing a life full of not only hardship and loss but also friendship, laughter, and love. He can’t let Stryker take that from him — all those years of happiness. He can’t let him take you.

Stryker opens his mouth to speak, but instead of his condescending tone, Logan hears your voice call his name. Logan’s brow furrows at the sound. Maybe his extended lack of oxygen caused some sort of brain damage. But then he hears it again — a voice he’d recognize in any timeline. Your voice.

And suddenly, it hits him. This isn’t happening. There’s no river, no pain, no Stryker. This is a memory — a nightmare. 

His eyes snap open, and his body jolts forward until he’s sitting up. He coughs hoarsely, as if his body is still trying to expel imaginary water, as he attempts to catch his breath. A layer of sweat has formed over his toned body, and his muscles flex as he rolls his shoulders back. He shakes his head roughly, trying to get a grip on reality.

And then you say his name again. 

His head snaps up, and he looks at you with wild eyes. You’re standing across the room — arms wrapped around yourself tightly as you watch him worriedly. You take a hesitant step toward him. Logan’s brow furrows at your unsureness, concerned about what he might have done in his sleep. But then he follows your gaze to his extended metal claws, and your hesitancy becomes understandable. This isn’t the first time Logan’s claws have come out in the middle of the night. His eyes nervously scan over your body for any injuries he may have inflicted as he retracts his claws. 

“Did I hurt you?”

You immediately cross the room as he speaks. Logan watches as you climb onto the bed and sit crisscross before him between his legs. You gently take both of his hands in yours and pull them onto your lap — the hesitancy long gone in your actions. 

“No, Logan. I’m okay.”

He lets out a relieved sigh as he leans forward until his forehead meets yours. He takes a moment to simply relish in the warmth of your touch. Logan relaxes his tense shoulders and melts further into you as you draw lazy circles into the palm of his hand. 

“Where’d you go?”

You pull away slightly to meet his eyes, and his breath hitches. Regardless of how many lifetimes he spends by your side, he’ll never get used to the fondness in your gaze as you look up at him. He remembers waking up in this timeline, thinking he actually did drown at the bottom of the Potomac River. Because this had to be heaven: having you tucked neatly into his chest, legs tangled up with his, steady breaths fanning across his neck. But as he felt you stir in your sleep, arms tightening slightly around his waist, he realized that this was real. He’d come to terms with his own death because at least his two hundred years spent suffering on this earth would mean something. But then he woke up from that nightmare, and he’s spent every day since then wondering when he’d inevitably be pulled out of this dream — waiting for history to repeat itself yet again. But he’s still here — and so are you.

“D.C., 1973.” 

You hum quietly before bringing his hand up to your mouth and placing a tender kiss to his palm. Logan waits for you to ask another question about his nightmare, but you silently return to tracing circles into the palm you just kissed. He shouldn’t be surprised; you know him better than anyone by now — better than he knows himself. You know not to push him. And he appreciates it more than you’ll ever know. After years of having his autonomy stripped away, you wait for him to come to you — allow him to open up at his own pace. Soothe him whenever he feels that he is sliding backward instead of moving forward. Healing isn’t linear. This has become your mantra for him on the nights when he’s sure that he’s slipping back into the past — when he longs for the familiarity of his vices and self-destructive tendencies. And you sit next to him with relentless patience through the highs and lows as he continues to navigate and grieve the fifty years he lost.

He’s come a long way since he first woke up. And he still has a ways to go before he can say that he’s processed everything he’s lost. Truth be told, he’s not sure he’ll ever truly heal entirely from his past. But you tell Logan that it doesn’t matter. Every time he begins to think that he’s too damaged — too broken — you reassure him that you love him as is. But he still tries to piece himself back together, for your sake. Tries to open up — to show you that he trusts you more than anyone he’s known during his two hundred years across two separate timelines. And so he continues, letting you into the depths of his tortured mind.

“I was drowning. Again. And it all felt so real. I couldn’t breathe, and I was sure I was slipping into the darkness, but then Stryker was there…”

As Logan trails off, he notices how your body tenses at the mention of Stryker’s name. Your hands tighten ever so slightly around his, and Logan lovingly sweeps his thumb over your knuckles. He knows that name holds as much weight to you as it does to him. He knows about the years of abuse you endured at the hands of William Stryker. He vividly remembers when you confided in him. After months of running into each other in the middle of the night, Logan found you silently crying with your back pressed against the railing of your favorite balcony in the mansion. Without a second thought, he slid down next to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. He didn’t know you — not like he does now. You’d recounted how you first met on Three Mile Island when Scott and Jean brought him to the mansion. And he was thankful for the small piece of his past that you gave back to him. But under the dim light of the night sky, you revealed precisely what you endured during your years of captivity at Stryker’s facility. And that night, Logan made it his life’s mission to get revenge against the man. Not for his sake. No — for you. He would tear Stryker apart limb from limb for what he had done to you. 

“You aren’t there. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Although the words are directed towards him, he knows you’re equally trying to convince yourself of that fact. He knows that even though William Stryker is long dead — after Logan made good on his promise to you — he still haunts you. Unlike Logan, your trauma does manifest in the form of nightmares but insomnia. He thinks maybe this is why the two of you work. After years of feeling alone in this world, Logan finally found someone who understands him and what he’s been through. Although your torment isn’t identical, the similarity in your stories bonded the two of you together. You help him piece together the shared fragments of your past as you heal alongside him. 

“I know, you pulled me out.”

Your brow furrows at his confession. He lets go of your hands and gently holds your face. Your face flushes as he openly admires you. The faint light of the single side table lamp that Logan had left on softens your features, making you look damn near angelic. Logan isn’t a religious man, but his mother was. He was a sickly child before his mutation restored his body. His mother would often sit by his bedside with a bible in hand. And on the nights when he wasn’t delirious from his fever, he would listen to his mother read to him. One verse always stood out to him: “God is faithful, and He will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.” She meant for the words to comfort him, but the words only angered him. 

He remembers finding himself down on his knees multiple times during his years as Stryker’s mindless, faithful soldier. Praying to that same God that his mother once trusted to save her baby boy from the illness slowly degrading his frail body. He begged Him for salvation — to be given the way out that was promised in the bible verse his mother once recited. But instead of an answer, Logan was met with silence. So if the years of physical and psychological abuse he endured were nothing but a test from the Lord above to prove his faithfulness, then that’s no God worth following. 

“I heard you call my name, and it brought me back home.”

God never did anything for him. He didn’t bother protecting the innocence of a broken, misguided child. He refused to provide respite from the harshness of humanity. He never offered him any form of help or guidance during his times of greatest need — but you did. Without even knowing, you came into his life like an answered prayer.

Seemingly at a loss for words due to the intensity of his gaze, you grab onto the front of Logan’s t-shirt and pull him into a tight embrace. Your hands slide under the white fabric and slide across the contours of his back. He melts into your touch — finding relief in the direct contact of your skin on his. He’s never considered himself desirable, but you hold him like he’s something to be coveted. And then you murmur his name again. It’s barely a whisper, but the sound rings in his ears because your voice is heaven-sent.

“You’re a goddamn saint, you know that?”

A melodic laugh escapes your lips as you shake your head at his words. You pull away from him slightly and tilt your head up to meet his gaze. 

“I’m nothing special, Logan.”

You don’t mean it in a self-deprecating way. Logan knows that — knows that you simply see yourself as ordinary. But you couldn’t be more wrong. Because you might not actually be a saint or an angel, but you are the only person in two hundred years who’s managed to restore his faith in what this world has to offer. 

“Well. You’re special to me, sweetheart.”

[judenostopwaitkeepgoing]

Your Villain Against a Wall...! 🫠

18+ | MDNI | Explicit Content | EN-released Villains x Reader

What if... your villain f*cked you against a wall? Wouldn't that be nice?

CW: fem!reader, p-in-v sex mostly, explicit, some villains have a higher word count (sorry, for some reason I rly popped off with these for only some of the boys—if your fave's is shorter, I promise to make it up to you soon!!), teasing, some of these depict sex in semi-public, pet names (my little robin, lil lady, princess, etc.), EN-released villains only!

ENJOY, MY SWEET LITTLE WH*RES ROBINS! 😙

William Rex

You sneak out of a party together, retreating alone to a secluded area of the garden. You kiss desperately against the cold castle wall, damp from recent rain. Your making out grows more and more fervent, and before long William is suggesting that you relocate to his room but, to his surprise and delight, you refuse by quietly murmuring, ‘Let’s stay right here.’ You pull your own skirt up, hitching your leg onto his hip and pulling him back to your kiss. This sets him over the edge! He doesn’t even care if a stray partygoer happens to find you two, he wastes no time diving his cock inside you, pushing you up deliciously against the stone wall.

Harrison Gray

After a mission you and Harry sit together in the library. He’s watching you finish your report and trying to distract you with his stare. “I’m almost finished, be patient please.” “You want me to suffer.” He sighs dramatically. “I do not Harry, please, let me finish.” “What, I’m not allowed to look at you?” “You know how you’re looking at me...” “Oh? Do I? How’s that?” You finally meet his sly gaze, walking around to his side of the table and attempting to push him away. But he teases you further and doesn’t budge, smirking at your cute attempts to move him. “You know, it’s unwise to punch above your weight.” he’d say, then pushes you back, completely overpowering you until you’re flush against a bookcase, with his tongue quickly invading your mouth. You’re stunned, but his kiss feels so delicious that you get taken away by it. Your panting breath is the only sound filling the library, and Harry works you up so much that you almost want to have a quick one right here... turns out you two are on the same page, and you feel his hand gliding up your skirt. “Ahhn,” you moan softly as his fingers enter you, your head leaning back against the shelf. “Mmm, does the lady like it when I touch her in the library like this...?” he murmurs in your ear, “She must—since she’s so soaking wet...” “Please, Harry...” you pant, unable to take his teasing any longer. “Please, what?” He’s enjoying this. “Please, right here... right now... let’s...” he cuts you off with his kiss, already sliding his cock out of his pants, ready to thrust into you against this bookcase.

Liam Evans

You scurry backstage after the performance to Liam’s dressing room. He’s the star of the show, so he gets his very own place to get ready. You peek into the room to see him removing his makeup. “You were amazing, Liam!” he turns quickly at your voice, beaming at the sight of you. “Y/N!” He pulls you into his dressing room, already filled with flowers and gifts from fans. He closes the door behind you, sneakily locking the door... he actually got kind of flustered when he saw you from the stage tonight. You looked so radiant, he wanted to steal you away and get you all to himself. Little did he know that you were thinking the same thing! ‘The part where your character was almost killed was so convincing that it made me really sad!” you exclaimed. He was close to you already, but that made him take you into his arms. “I’m sorry for making you sad,” he said, “don’t worry I’m not going anywhere.” You cuddled into his chest, and he could feel a heat rising inside him. “Let me make it up to you...” he purrs in your ear, sending a pleasant shiver through your body. Before you know it, he’s tilting your head back and pressing his soft lips to yours in an eager kiss. He kisses you breathless, until you pull away, panting “Couldn’t someone come in...?” “Don’t worry, I locked it when you came in,” he winks at you. “What!” You laugh nervously, kind of happy that he was already thinking about doing this with you... He starts to guide you over to the setae in the corner, but you stop him. “I want you right here,” you said, pulling him close by the lapels of his jacket, sandwiching yourself between him and the locked door to his dressing room. Liam is taken aback for a moment and then completely overwhelmed with desire for you. “Y/N,” he breathes out as he deepens your kiss, already hoisting you up so that he’s gripping you firmly by your thighs, ready to fuck you with not a care in the world for anyone who might walk by the shaking door.

Elbert Greetia

The two of you had been steadily clearing out the items in Elbert’s room. You’d initially thought that there were so many priceless treasures in here, but you’ve learned that it’s really a stifling coping mechanism for Elbie. “What about this painting?” you ask. The two of you have reached a spot of wall that only has paintings hanging up left. You felt like it would be fine to leave most of them, but Elbert insisted that he wanted to start fresh. “Let’s take it down,” he says, and you can feel his ocean blue eyes roving over you as you gingerly lift the painting from its hooks. “Wow, there’s quite a lot of wall space now!” you step back, taking in the progress you’ve both made. “Yes, indeed...” and suddenly, you feel Elbert’s arms wrapping around you. You turn in surprise, but before you can even ask him what’s up he’s kissing you softly and earnestly. You indulge his sudden kiss but ask what’s the matter when he pulls away. “Nothing I can put up on the wall could compare to your beauty now,” he says sweetly.

Alfons Sylvatica

You and Alfons were spending some quality time together in his bed, just idling the Sunday morning away. He’d spent a rare night in your bedroom with you instead of out on the town, so you were trying to draw things out as long as you could. His gloved fingers danced playfully across your skin, brushing against you every so lightly as he stretched languidly beside him. “Mm, you have such a nice body, y/n,” he murmured, sending a flush across you instantly. “It’s so soft and spotless... It makes me almost want to scar you up a little.” His blunt words send a pleasurable shiver through you, and you snapped your face toward him. “Just kidding,” he smiled his usual vaguely unsettling smile, and you were relieved for a moment that he didn’t mean it. But... you’d be lying if you said you hated the idea of him marking you as his own... “Alfons,” you whispered quietly a moment later. “Yes, little robin?” he asked turning his face from laying across your bare chest to face yours at the top of the bed. “What if...” your eyes trailed to the side, embarrassed to ask for what you were really imagining... but it seems that Alfons was on the same page as you. “Perhaps my little robin wouldn’t mind me branding her..?” his words purred into your ear made you let out a soft, pleasurable breath. You looked him in the eye, his gaze both merry and merciless. “Stand up over there, my little robin.” You obeyed him, slipping out of bed and standing against the nearest wall. You were completely naked, still, and the cold air of the room made your cute nipples stand pert. Alfons loved your body, and he took a moment to scan you up and down before removing his gloves and coming to stand right before you, his fingers brushing the nape of your neck delicately, and before you even noticed a difference between dream and reality, he was lifting you against the wall, biting hard on your collarbone, making you yelp out in pain. you felt his teeth sink into you, drawing blood even, before you felt his hard length piercing you suddenly, thrusting you up and against the wall as he landed more and more bites to your skin... it hurt all over, and your legs were trembling, but he didn’t stop until you were both satisfied.

Roger Barel

Roger was running some experiments with Liam and Harrison late into the evening, and you hadn’t seen him all day. You weren’t usually like this, but you were feeling... jealous. You knew that nothing untoward was happening in these experiments—Harrison certainly wouldn’t have agreed to them if that were the case—but you felt starved for Roger’s attention. So you crept out of bed, not even caring to change out of your nightgown and robe and snuck into his lab. Liam and Harry were gone by now, but you could see Roger hunched over his notes, writing something quickly. He looked like he was concentrating hard. “You know I could hear you coming all the way from upstairs, right?” he suddenly broke the silence, making you jump a little. He swiveled around on the stool he sat on to face you. You were pouting at being found out, but also at his total nonchalance. Like he wasn’t as touch-starved as you were... making you feel foolish... “Oh, that’s quite a look...” he was smiling sideways at you. He’s actually enjoying this? This made you pout even further. “I’m not cursed... so I can’t help with your research... but there is something that I want to try.” You tried to bury your frustration, but Roger could tell what you were thinking by the blush on your face and the fast pace of your heartbeat that he could hear across the room. He wanted you to say it, though. “Mmm? And what would that be?” he was enjoying drawing this out. “I couldn’t sleep... and I was hoping that you would...” you trailed off, too embarrassed to continue. “Mm, my hearing is good, lil’ lady, but still not good enough to hear your thoughts,��� he was smirking, and had shifted his position so that he was sitting wide legged, everything about his body language cocky and relaxed. You hated and loved how confident he was with you. You wished you could muster that kind of confidence just once... so you walked right up to him and threw your arms around him in a sudden kiss. Roger is so surprised that it takes him a moment to react, but before long he’s wrapping his solid, muscular arms around you, pulling you in closer as he deepens the kiss—sliding his tongue inside your mouth and eliciting a whimper from you. But you refuse to back down. You’re going to show him just how impatient you’ve gotten. You pull him in even closer by the lapels of his vest, and he is taken aback again at your enthusiasm. “I want to know just how strong these arms are...” you breathe into his mouth in between kisses. He’s gripping you securely by the waist, your bodies flush against one another as he lifts you effortlessly and turns you toward the nearest vertical surface, the side of a bookcase near his desk. You can feel his grip resettle underneath your thighs, his large hands forming a kind of seat for you as he presses you against the shelf, his mouth not leaving yours for a moment. “Does the little lady want to try my patience, is that what she wanted to try?” He murmurs seductively into your ear, sending a shiver through your body. He has your skirt hiked up in no time, using his thigh to rub slowly against your soaked core, things devolving from there... ;)

Victor

Showering with Victor would be so fun. Imagine washing and playing with his pretty hair, and his practiced hands sliding soap all over your body... he would lather you everywhere, lifting you against the slippery tile like you weighed nothing, your tongues entwining luxuriously as the steam from the warm water made your blood pump even faster. You’d feel his enormous cock getting harder beneath you, and he would waste no time slipping it up inside you, making you moan deliciously—your lewd noises echoing against the tiled walls of the entire bathroom.

Jude Jazza

“You somehow managed to put that birdbrain to good use.” Jude was smirking at you, his legs crossed at the ankles, resting his expensive, polished shoes on his desk as he leaned back in his chair, his arms stretched up and behind him, cradling his head in a cocky, relaxed pose. He looked at you the way he looked at a product he was appraising. You had managed to convince several noblewomen at the party you’d attended to draw up exclusive contracts with the interior design firm that Jude had recently acquired for their new townhome renovations. It was a major sale—a few of them placed orders right away. You didn’t want to appear overly excited, knowing that Jude would just mock you for it, but you couldn’t deny the thrill coursing through you as you met his satisfied—dare you say even proud?—sideways grin. “You’ve made me into an excellent saleswoman.” You said, not even really meaning for it to sound like such an obvious appeal to his ego. “Ooh, you think flattery will get you everywhere, princess?” he let out a haughty chuckle and you swore you noticed a brief flash of wildness in his eyes. He stared you down before suddenly asking, “Does the lil’ birdie think she deserves some kind of reward for all her hard work?” Damn. You knew you couldn’t get anything past him. But... he did seem like he was game for a little fun... which could either go well or badly for you... Then, suddenly, he stood from his seat, his black jacket swirling behind him as he made his way around the desk to where you were stood. He peered into your face, his righteous look only growing more and more dangerous. “You’ve earned exactly one request,” he whispered into your ear, sending a lightning bolt through your nervous system, “just this once.” You knew that even this wouldn’t be a no-strings-attached offer, but you didn’t care. “Fuck me against that wall right there.” You decided not to hesitate, to call him on his bluff, to get sassy on purpose (yes—perhaps, unconsciously, so he would punish you). “Oh, someone’s feeling cocky—” Jude’s face had cracked fully into a smile as he grabbed you roughly, taking an assured fistful of your hair at the nape of your neck in his grip. If it had been anyone else, you might have tensed, but Jude had manhandled you hundreds of times by now, your body trained to go limp at his touch. He pushed you against the wall, his hips grinding hard and final against yours, making you almost moan. “Mm, you did a good job, little robin, but I still can’t help wanting you to beg.” He tugged on your hair with just enough force to make your head loll backward, while simultaneously diving into your neck with his mouth, biting the sensitive flesh hard... It was going to be a long, (pleasantly) painful night!

Ellis Twilight

“Ellis... ah... are you sure... I’m not too heavy...?” You managed to gasp out your question between ragged breaths as Ellis held you up flush against the stone wall of Crown Castle. He had returned from a mission quite late, but you hadn’t been able to sleep. You knew he was capable, but you always worried about him regardless. Plus, something must have happened, because immediately upon seeing you—you’d been taking a stroll in the gardens to clear your head—he took you into his arms, holding you so tight it almost hurt and kissing you fervently. “You’re as light as a feather,” he smiled at you, his sweet voice sending a shiver down your neck as he whispered to you. You could feel his muscles tense as you held on to his shoulders... But it was true, other than that, he didn’t seem to be exerting any effort at all as he held you up, his cock growing harder and harder between your splayed legs. He was holding you up underneath your thighs as he trailed his tongue against your neck, sucking on the skin occasionally, drawing out sweet moans from you. “Mm, you sound so pretty, Y/N.” You could feel his lips curl into his devilish smile. “Ellis, shouldn’t we—” you were about to suggest you relocate to somewhere more private, but were cut off when you realized that he was starting to undo your blouse... with his teeth!? Your brain became overwhelmed, all of your thoughts seemingly evaporated, by the sheer eroticism of his gaze as he stared you down. What on earth happened on that mission? “Y/N... I’m sorry, but... I can’t wait anymore.” Ellis looked at you apologetically before you felt his hand slip up your skirt, stroking your soaking wet cunt before long. You instinctually gripped his midsection even tighter with your thighs, unable to resist his long, dexterous fingers as they slipped inside you... You’d have to figure out what had gotten into him some other time...

[tan1shere]

Rest

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: Ellie Williams x sick stubborn reader !! Thought this would be cute because sometimes I don't like to admit when I'm getting sick as I hate it so much. Especially when something exciting is coming up- but anyways I won't blab any longer, enjoy the story beautiful people <3

Summary: you were slowly developing a cold but you were incredibly stubborn and kept saying you were fine, but the freezing winter was only making it worse, Ellie had to make you stay home so it would get better.

Warnings: fear of puking (I sadly suffer from it- and yes I can't remember what the name is 😃.) Just ellie being a sweetheart:( fluffyness !!

Masterlist

It was a cold winters day in Jackson. Snow drizzling every so often. You and Ellie were currently out on patrol at some random building. Night was beginning to come, and you and her were on your way back. "It's so cold out." You mention, hugging your jacket close to you. Ellie looks at you. "Babe, you should wear more layers." She speaks going to wrap an arm around your shoulder. You sink into her touch keeping more warm. "Im fineee." She lets out a hum. "I heard you coughing back there." You go to push her gently away from you. "I had a tickle in my throat big deal." You let out a small laugh, but she gets serious. "Well it is getting cold out I'd hate for you to get si-" "I'm fine Ellie I promise." That didn't seem too believable. As you approached the gates to the small town you lived in, you and Ellie split ways eventually. Going to your little home and flopping on your bed, getting under the covers wanting to sleep as you were exhausted from your long day.

The next day rolled around but you were glued to your bed, you knew you had to get up. Letting out a groan, opening one eye ever so slightly. You look out your window gazing at the falling snow. "So tired." You figured it was from your big day yesterday, but you were definitely wrong. Sitting up almost immediately as you begin to have a coughing fit. Just like you began to have yesterday. Weird. Once it slowly died down you look around, feeling a tad faint. When all of a sudden there was a knock at your door. "Baby, you up? It's almost 9, you've slept for awhile." You shake your head out of your small daydream and get up, going over to your door and opening it. You look at Ellie but she widens her eyes. "What?" You were confused by it. "You look incredibly pale." She had worry in her tone, coming inside and shutting the door. "I'm probably just cold Elli-" That was cut short when you felt a soft and cold hand on your forehead. "Uh uh you're burning up." This made you even more confused. I mean, you did feel a bit off. But you had so much to do today, you couldn't take a break or anything.

After all it was probably nothing... right? "Ok, well I'll be ready in a second." Which earns a shake of her head. "Ellie-" "you're so stuck in your ways huh? You're clearly sick." You roll your eyes. "I am not sick, I swear." Once again this woman believes nothing that's coming out of your mouth. "You're full of shit you know that." You attempt to ignore her and head outside anyways, but she instantly blocks the door. "Let me out." "Nope." You huff. "I told you I'm not-" you couldn't even finish that argument because you start coughing like a crazy person. "You were saying?" Letting out a long groan you get back on your bed. You just wanted to go out, you loved doing your little jobs, and the snow. It bummed you out when you were sick. But you were really glad that Ellie was the type to not take no for an answer. Because after a few minutes had passed you were getting worse.

You only wanted to get some water for that pesky scratch in your throat, while Ellie was reading something on your nightstand, laying in your bed. Her attention turns to you as she notices you gripping the sink in the small kitchen you had. "Baby?" You don't reply trying to calm your aching skull. "Hey, everything alright?" She asks again, more concerned. "I just got really dizzy.." You sigh out, trying to stand properly. Ellie gets up going over to you. "Why don't you go lay down and rest, I'll get you these things ok?" You want to nod but knowing your head is pounding you settle for an 'mhmmm' She watches as you take your drink going to walk close behind you, making sure you don't get too light headed. This is when Ellie goes full protective girlfriend mode. She makes you lay down under the covers, wanting you to have as much comfort as possible. "Are you too warm or cold?" You ponder her question. "I'm quite cold." She begins to bundle you up in the blankets, making sure you're warm enough but not to the point of overheating.

Next she will dampen a cold cloth to put on your burning forehead, in hopes it'll ease your growing temperature. "Have you got a thermometer anywhere." You didn't find it as necessary but she still wouldn't take no for an answer. "Probably in the first aid kit in the bathroom." You'd respond. She goes to grab it, coming back over to you. "Mouth open, tongue up." You give her a look. "Ellie come on-" "I need to see exactly what you're at." She'd reply. "You're ridiculous." But you do as she said, feeling the cool glass hit your tongue, keeping it there for however long it needed to be. She takes it out looking at it. "Maybe we should get Maria or Joel- this is concerning." You put a hand on hers. "Baby, I promise you this is all ok, I'll be fine." But you keep proving your points wrong when suddenly you sneeze randomly. She gives you a 'I'm literally right' sort of look. Resulting in you just shaking your head, leaning back against your bed.

You got to admit tho, you wanted to stay strong for Ellie, but you were quite scared. Yes you hated being sick, colds, stuffyness. But one thing you dreaded the most was puking. As the day went on you were convinced it was just a runny nosed cold. When you felt a hurling ache in your lower stomach. Which soon started progressing higher, making that watery feeling arise. You swallow getting really worried. You avert your eyes to Ellie who was folding some of your clothes. She had been doing little things around your home all day to help you out. You try so incredibly hard not to let this feeling out, but your anxiety increases as the feeling does too. "E-ellie." You try to get out worried if you open your mouth in the slightest something might erupt. Your hand makes its way underneath your breasts. Rubbing circles, hoping the horrid feeling will just fuck off. "Yeah my girl?" She softly replies. But you don't think you can answer. You need to get the message across but you're so scared.

She whips her head around to look at you, seeing your skin getting even more pale and noticing your actions. Her eyes widen as she soon realizes. Ellie knew your fear, ever since the first time you puked infront of her she hated the gut wrenching cry of pain you let out once you had, your tears hurting everything inside of her. Stopping what she was doing she makes her way over to you, sitting on the bed. "Hey, look at me baby." Her tone was still as soft as anything. "I'm scared." You blurt out. "I know, I know. But maybe you need to. Get out all of those icky bugs inside you." You were instant to shaking your head. "You don't need to be scared I'm right here. I promise." She speaks, holding your hand. You let go of a shaky breath, taking in her gentle words. "Let me get the bowl ok?" She gets up going to do just that, bringing it over to you. It took a few seconds for you to just give into the thing you were dreading, holding it back. Once you do she was quick to putting your hair back and out of your face.

Putting it in a small bun, knowing this wasn't the last time you'd be puking that day. Not long after she hears your soft cries, and that gut wrenching sound of absolute pain. "Ellie." You make a disgusted face, tasting the horribleness. "I know my baby, I know." She gives you a small frown, wanting to take all this pain away from you. "Everything hurts." She rubs a soothing hand on your head moving to set the bowl down and clean it out soon. "I'm sorry Els." But she shakes her head. "You can't help being sick angel, just hurts to hear your cries and pains." You nod. "I hate it." "Me too darling. Being sick is the worst." There was a small silence. "Want me to lay with you precious girl?" Your heart melted at how caring this woman was. "You've done so much for me today- I really don't want to get you sick-" But she puts a finger on your mouth shhing you. "Don't be silly babe, I'd rather get sick then leave you here all by yourself. That's horrible to even think about." She goes to get into bed with you. Immediately you snuggle close to her. "Thank you." She smiles. "No need to thank me love, I'm always here for you." You let a smile spread across your face feeling exhausted. "Why don't you have a little nap and then we can try to get you to drink something when you wake up." And you couldn't agree more to that nap. Sleeping almost instantly.

[elsweetheart]

texts with dealer!ellie part 2

🎀 makin these r so fun i had to do another <33 mentions of weed, mentions of death (in a jokey way) sexual flirting ,, ya thts it enjoy

e: Babe, you gotta come quick it’s an emergency

e: Babe

r: wh at???? what i just woke up from a nap what happened??

e: I think I’m dying.

r: ellie???? what’s wrong?????

e: I’m gonna die and the only thing that will save me is a pretty girl on my lap smoking my weed with me

e: Come quick… I can see the light

r: r u fucking serious ellie ?? u scared me !!!!

e: I’ll have you know it’s a very serious situation.

r: just for that i’m not coming over >:((

r: suffer the consequences!!!!!

e: Come on it was a little funny

r: no. mad at u.

e: 📞 I’m calling the waa-mbulance

e: 👶 <- You

r: you’re not helping yourself. now i’m even more mad

e: I’m sorry! Just wanna see my girl

e: Can you blame me

r: yes

e: I know you wanna smoke a little weed

e: You’re like

e: A little bunny… and the weed is your lettuce

r: ok… true …..

r: why can’t u come here i just woke up :(

e: Because I don’t wanna have to bring aaalll my stuff to create the most perfect roll you’ve ever laid eyes on

e: I’d like to do it from the privacy of my own desk thank you.

r: so pre roll it and bring it to me loser :(

r: you owe me for scaring me :(

e: Good point

e: Alright I’ll come

e: And then you’ll come… if you know what I mean

r: get ur mind out of the gutter williams

e: You know me baby, always thinking with my dick

r: well bring ur dick with u. u need to make it up to me 🙄

e: When bae wants to fuck but you left your dick at home…

r: are you coming or not

e: Yes ma’am just let me roll

e: Leavimg now do you want me to pick up some food

e: Leavinf

e: FUCKING LEAVING

r: no need to yell ……

r: can u plsss bring me coffee i’m a sleepy girl :(

e: I like you being a sleepy girl. I’ll bring you breakfast. Coffee’s bad for you

r: so weed is good coffee is bad? got it

e: Hey. I don’t let you smoke that much weed either. Sassy pants

e: Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed huh

r: yeah it might have something to do with my girlfriend texting me and telling me she’s dying. not sure though

e: Alright brat 🙄

e: Ok I’m on my way. You can go back to sleep I’ll let myself in

r: mmkay ellie

e: Good girl

r: 🤭

[ulquiorrapleasecallmetrash]

Spending Halloween w/ The Black Butler Characters

.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃

Fandom: Black Butler/ Kuroshitsuji

Genre: Halloween Headcanons

warnings: none!

Rated: PG I reference sex like one time.

Admin Wisteria: I have a tooth infection and in pain so I decided to write something because Halloween is coming up. So I hope you black butler peeps enjoy this post!

₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚

Sebastian Michaelis:

-Well, I mean he is a DEMON of course he enjoys Halloween in a sense. 

-Doesn't care about the human food or trick or treating aspect but i can picture him playing some silly pranks on his s/o and everyone else in the manor. (Except Ciel, of course.)

-Honestly I can picture Halloween enhancing Sebastian’s Demon powers making him much more strong. 

-He will become faster, stronger and more handsome. 

-They don’t call it “The devil’s Holiday” For nothing. 

-So for the first half of the day once he notice his enhance demon powers he will get so many things done around the the manor. He will clean 10x better, cook tastier food and will be just in a better in a mood. 

-I recommend not talking to him during the day because he is in full demon, perfect butler mode and wants to get everything done because he has more power to do it. and everything needs to be done during the day while Ciel is Awake.

-Then after Ciel goes to bed and everything is done during the day then he will have a lot more time to relax and with his s/o. 

-Will make you cute halloween sweets, and makes you some extra yummy tea. 

-I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he is more horny on Halloween. Maybe in a Demon Breeding AU Halloween can be the their Spawning day. 

-So At night you guys are gonna get freaky, like A LOT.

-Getting freaky with a sexy demon on Halloween. You guys are on tumblr so i know you guys would like that.

₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚

Grell Sutcliff:

-She loves Halloween. 

-Though, might be busy on Halloween depending on how stupid people are during this time of year.

-I can also picture Grell enjoy eating the fun Halloween candy and such. 

-Also would love to go around with her s/o and pull pranks on the other reapers. 

-Especially William.

-She and you would plan the funniest prank on William each year and he Loathes it. 

-Then later I can picture Ronald knox wanting to join in on the fun of pranking william. 

-So he will plan funny prank to pull on William during halloween as well. 

-So now every year on halloween Grell, Her s/o and Ronald Knox will just have a prank pulling contest on William to see who can pull the best pranks on them. 

- Will all you get in big trouble and will suffer from over time because of it? Yes. Was it worth it?  Hell yeah it was. 

- Would love to wear sexy costumes to fluster  you. 

-Would make a huge big deal and will make you watch her put it on. 

-”What do you think about this? Mmm you look a bit flustered darling~” 

-”I can turn around for you if you like, Oh I think you would LOVE that~.”

-Huge cuddler, would love to cuddle with you and eat halloween sweets with you. 

-And will bombard you with kisses as well.

₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚

Undertaker:

-You are dating Undertaker. 

-Alright, next character. 

-Just kidding just kidding but there is still a LOT of truth to it. 

- Besides living in an actual FUNERAL HOME with dead bodies everywhere and coffins Undertaker will still go FULL OUT on the Halloween traditions.

-Will pull so many practical jokes on you it is almost annoying. 

-So you have no choice but do the same to him and have a prank war.

-Will decorate the Funeral extra spooky with (Probably real) Skeletons and (Probably real) Spider webs and spiders.

-But also kind likes the stupid, silly, childish but cute halloween decorations too. 

-”Maybe I should decorate the Funeral home with these silly dancing skeletons you think it will make the place more appealing and less scary?”

You: No.

-Will make you those cute bone treats he eats but spooky versions. Might add some orange and black icing and sprinkles. 

-Might even paint his nails orange and black just for funsies if he is in a good mood. 

-Probably will spend a lot of the day making stupid Halloween pun jokes to just to tease and annoy you. 

-How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.

You: Okay that was cute…

Undertaker:Why did the skeleton climb a tree? A dog was after his bones.!

You: okay okay I get it.

Undertaker: How does a ghost sneeze? Ah, ah, ah BOO! 

You: This is going to be a looonnnggg day...

-But yeah, Everyday is Halloween if you are dating Undertaker he just becomes ten times more Undertaker-like on this day haha.

₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚

Gregory Violet:

-Of course my boy loves Halloween. 

-He is very into the the whole halloween vibes and would love do everything with you. 

-Loves going to pumpkin patch to pick out the perfect pumpkin to carve. 

-He can be very particular about it so you might be there for awhile. 

-He is pretty good at Carving pumpkins.  He enjoys carving them with you even though he most likely hates the texture of the pumpkin guts. 

-But he is very passionate and has so much precision just like when he draws. 

-Also would take joy into decorating halloween cookies with you. 

-He is pretty good with doing that as well. 

-If you beg very sweetly and if he is in the right mood he might let you paint is nails orange and black  but just for the week of halloween. 

-Loves the cute halloween shaped candies that look like eyeballs and ghosts along with the packaging with cute ghosts on them.

-You know he is doing inktober. 

-And he will show you all the drawings that he is done during the month. 

-Cute halloween date idea would be you both going to a old, cool cemetery with a picnic basket and just sit and chill there. You could read or do whatever while he sits and draws the really cool tombstones in the cemetery.

-At night I think he would enjoy laying  his head on your lap while you read some ghosts stories in those cool goth looking books. 

-You can play with his hair while you read him “30 terrifying ghost stories that will give you the chills” he relaxes him and he will just sigh happily. 

₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚

Snake:

 -He is more fond of the fun side of halloween rather than the scary spooky side. 

-Enjoys decorating, making halloween sweets, pumpkin carving, etc.

-He maybe old but take him to go trick or treating. My boy has been in a cage all of his childhood let him enjoy trick or treating!

-He will be shy at first, because well, you know, people can be cruel But I think he wouid end up loving it. 

-Especially if he dresses up at as a reptile and they compliment on his scales on his face. 

-Does he knows that they complimented  on them because they look like really good makeup? Yes. But does he care? No because he will be so happy and flattered and that is all that matters. 

-If you know how to knit, sew or crotchet, the snakes might like it if you make them one of those cute halloween snake sweaters for the colder season. 

-Snake would also love it so much if you make them all matching including his. 

-Along with those cute hats that I seen on the internet. 

-Take a picture because snakes in costumes are so cute i can’t-

-Not good at pumpkin carving (So he says)  but he still enjoys  doing it with you. 

-Doesn’t mind going to a pumpkin patch either, as long he and his snakes are dressed warm. 

-Would love a picture of yopu and him next to really big pumpkin. 

-Loves the halloween candy the most. 

-He would eat so much of it he will get sick but it would be his first and last time doing that.

₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚𖦹⋆.˚⊹.🎃₊˚

[faggot-vampire-dies-epicly]

Tear me to pieces

Summary: Vanessa was annoyed. Her dad had sent her to check on you at the old Freddy's location on the outskirts of town. She expected the eerie atmosphere and dusty hallways, but she didn’t expect the way you made her feel. | Words: 6,031K

Warnings: Semi-graphic depictions of corpses. Death, murder, missing people, references of child death/murder. Parental abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, manipulation. Cursing. A slight sexual joke. Heavy angst, hurt/almost no comfort. William is an asshole on this one, you guys. Fem!Reader.

A/N: Whew, this took so long! But I'm kind of proud on how this turned out, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I went out of my way to make William as shitty as possible because I love making Vanessa suffer, and well, there's also sort of a plot twist? It's probably pretty obvious but I tried to keep it in the dark a little :). Title is from Lovely by Billie Eilish & Khalid/Inspired by the entire album of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, by My Chemical Romance.

Main Materlist | Vanessa Masterlist | AO3

She had arrived at least fifteen minutes ago, but her headache from her father’s berating had not yet subsided. She really wasn’t in the mood to make any effort. In spite of William’s scolding, she wanted just to fulfill her father’s orders in the most half-assed-and-bare-minimum-effort way possible.

Vanessa sighed, staring at the restaurant’s sign. The letters of the neon sign glowed dimly over the parking lot.

She cursed under her breath and got out of the car. She opened the trunk and took out the bag where she kept his fake police uniform. Her father had been trying to convince her for months to enroll into the police force, but she had refused over and over again. Vanessa knew he just wanted her to cover for him, and she refused to be more involved in his crimes than she already was.

She put the uniform over her normal civil clothes, grabbed the fake police badge and the ID and stepped out of the car. 

Vanessa took a deep breath and finally walked to the entrance. 

Doing these checkups was never easy for her. She got to meet pretty mundane people who were practically doomed from the start. From middle aged parents that just needed the job to survive with their kids to college students and teenagers that were fresh out of high school and just wanted to make some money to buy a car or go out with their friends.

They never lasted. Never.

Unfair was an understatement.

At least her father didn’t have to do with the disappearance of the majority. Most of them she would find inside Freddy. It wasn’t pretty. It didn’t get any easier, but at least she knew her father wasn’t the real cause in the end. Or that’s how she tried to convince herself.

She rang the bell, waiting for the guard of this month (or perhaps of this week only) to come out.

She looked back at the parking lot. It was empty except for her car, parked on the darkest corner she could find. The door opened and she snapped her head back to the entrance.

And she saw you, looking confused.

“Is there anything I can help you with, officer?”

She stared at you for a moment. “Another college kid?” she thought wryly, “she’s not even going to last the full week”.

Vanessa forced a smile, suddenly becoming too aware of the way your gaze wouldn’t leave her face.

“Hi,” she said in a slightly strangled voice. You frowned.

She blushed slightly and cleared her throat. “Sorry. I’m Officer Shelly. Vanessa Shelly,” she laughed awkwardly.

Vanessa extended her hand out, hoping you would understand the gesture and shook it. You complied. It was gentle, but firm. 

It made her skin tingle.

Vanessa swallowed, trying to shake the feeling away. 

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious,” she began. “I just wanted to check on you. When there’s a new night guard in this place, word spreads fast.” 

You made a confused face, but you nodded. She smiled at you, “can I come in?”

“Um,” you hesitated, then sighed. “Yeah, sure,” you said while stepping aside. She gave you a polite smile and she went into the restaurant.

Once inside, she looked around. It looked the same every time, but that didn’t make it any less dreadful.

The place used to be crammed with kids and their families. There were always birthday celebrations, kindergarten graduation parties, some people just going for a quick bite after a long day. Hell, sometimes even some high school students would show up after homecoming.

She remembered it well. The smell of pizza, the laughter of children, the animatronics singing and dancing. 

And then, her father inside the suit. The police sirens, mothers crying, fathers yelling.

A chill runned down her spine, snapping her out of the memories. You eyed her curiously at the sudden reaction, but said nothing. 

Vanessa cleared her throat again, “how long have you been working here?”

You licked your lips, an action Vanessa got too caught on. “A couple of days only.”

She hummed, nodding. “Has anything weird happened?” You swallowed, “weird how?”

Vanessa shrugged. “Like someone trying to break in,” she said casually, glancing around. “Or,” she trailed off, “equipment malfunctioning, like the monitors, or the cameras, or…”

She turned to face you. “Maybe the animatronics getting a bit quirky.” She tried to be as nonchalant as possible while mentioning the animatronics.

You seemed to tense up slightly, opening your mouth to answer but then snapping it shut again.

“No,” you said finally, with a slightly higher pitch than usual. “Nope. Nothing like that has happened, ma’am.”

Vanessa grimaced at the formal way you addressed her. “Please,” she forced some humor into her voice, “don’t call me that.”

“Oh,” you breathed out, “I’m sorry Officer–”

She raised her hand, signaling for you to stop talking. “Just,” she sighed, “just call me Vanessa.”

You breathed out softly. “Sorry, Vanessa.”

The way you said her name had her avoiding your gaze nervously. “God, Vanessa, get a grip,” she thought.

“It’s fine,” she dismissed quickly.

You two stood there in an awkward silence for a few moments. She couldn’t bear it.

“So, what made you decide to work at Freddy’s?” Vanessa internally scolded herself for asking something so stupid and personal.

“Oh,” you said, shrugging. “I just wanted to make some money before the school year starts.”

Vanessa nodded slowly, “Highschool?”

You shook your head. “College, actually.”

Her eyes widened, you looked younger than you were then.

“That’s,” she blinked a few times, “nice.”

You nodded awkwardly, and she smiled. “What’s your major?”

“English literature.”

“That sounds interesting,” she said thoughtfully.

“You know, I never considered going to college,” Vanessa murmured, thinking how her father would reduce her to dust if she even dared to suggest the idea.

“Is that why you’re a cop?” You said bluntly. You quickly realized how that sounded and attempted to take it back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Vanessa stared at you blankly for a moment before bursting out laughing. 

You smiled, confused. 

“Don’t worry. It is probably why I am a cop, yeah,” she said, smiling, trying to regain her composure.

Not one of the previous had charmed her enough to even smile, and now you were making her laugh.

She obviously couldn’t tell you that she wasn’t actually a cop. She sighed, gazing at the clock that hung on the wall. “Well, I better get going, I still have to patrol a couple of blocks,” she lied.

You nodded, understanding, and then escorted her to the door.

“I may come back another night to see how you’re doing, alright?” 

“Sure.”

Vanessa nodded, but before you closed the door, she spoke again. “You never told me your name.”

You smiled, “Y/N.”

“Y/N,” she echoed, then nodded. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you too, Vanessa.”

And with that she made her way back to her car, her heart pounding inside her chest.

She returned four days later by her father’s order. 

Same routine. Choose the darkest spot in the parking lot, put the fake uniform on top of her normal clothes, grab her fake badge and fake ID and put on her bravest face. 

It was the same procedure she had done for years. Except, of course, that this time it was pouring, and she hadn’t brought a rain coat with her.

She frantically rang the bell, feeling the rain wet her clothes and soak her to the bone. 

You opened the door, letting her through. She mumbled a thank you as she rushed inside.

“God, you’re soaked,” you murmured. She snapped her head towards you, almost straining her neck, and you blushed at how that sounded. “I, I meant–” 

Vanessa sighed, looking at her uniform, “I know what you meant,” she grumbled.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, “I think there’s a towel in the office. Come with me.”

She followed you to the office while shivering. You offered your chair for her to sit and she gladly accepted it.

She watched you search every corner of your office for a towel, but the only thing you could find was a handkerchief. 

“Sorry, this is all I have,” you scratched the back of your neck as you offered the piece of cloth. She took with trembling fingers, and immediately dried her face.

“What brings you here again?” You asked, sitting on your desk. She sighed, untying her hair to try and dry it a bit with the handkerchief. 

“I just want to see how you are doing, honestly,” she said, making a face. “I didn’t read the weather forecast, as you can see.”

You chuckled a bit, “you’re going to be fine.”

A beat passed and you spoke up again, “actually, I have coffee, would you like some?”

She groaned softly. “Oh my God. Yes, please.”

You chuckled again, taking out a thermos from your backpack and pouring some in the mug sitting on the desk.

She took the coffee hastily and took a sip, humming in contentment. “I think you’re the first guard to bring coffee to the job,” she murmured. You raised your eyebrows.

“Okay, first of all, that’s ridiculous. The job is being a night guard, I can’t be the only one,” you rolled your eyes, and she smiled into the mug. “And second of all,” you looked into her eyes, “you met the other guards?”

Vanessa choked on the hot liquid, and coughed. She had said too much.

“Um,” she said, trying to recover. “Well, I met some of them,” she laughed awkwardly, avoiding your eyes. You hummed, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

“And how were they like?”

Vanessa sighed, as flashbacks flooded her mind. 

Sometimes she would find their bodies still sitting on the chair, their head laid down on the desk. She would consider herself lucky when she found them like that. Usually they had been just stabbed on the chest, or the stomach. It was probably Foxy, or that’s what she liked to think.

Other times she would find them in the supply closet. Dismembered, split in a half, headless, or smashed. She would have to hide the bodies and additionally clean the whole room. 

The animatronics were relentless, especially, she had come to realize, if the person looked like her father, even if it was just the minimum. 

She didn’t blame them of course. They had been trapped in there for at least two decades, and even if they had forgotten what happened, and who did them wrong, they still subconsciously searched for vengeance.

“Vanessa?” 

She snapped out of her thoughts, “yes?”

“What were the other night guards like? I mean,” you shifted on the desk, leaning in. “I mean, I’ve heard that most of them went missing. But that can’t be true, can’t it? That’s too many people to be a coincidence.”

She swallowed, looking at the remaining sip of coffee on the mug.

Vanessa cleared her throat in an effort to regain her composure. “Well, I’m sure most of them simply quit.”

“You don’t seem so sure,” you said, arching an eyebrow. She tried to brush it off by chuckling. 

“I mean,” she sighed, “it would be too many people to be a coincidence, like you said. People don’t just… disappear.” 

You frowned. The tone in which she had said it made your curiosity rise. 

Just as you were about to ask her to explain what she meant, she drank the last of the coffee and handed you the mug.

“Well, thanks for the coffee,” she looked down at her hands, where she was holding the handkerchief. “And for the…” she waved the piece of cloth, “this.”

You smiled and her heart sped up. “Sure thing."

It had become a routine. She came back to supposedly check on you, but in reality she just wanted to see you. To hear you.

She ached to look at you as you ranted to her about a boring book you had been reading lately. 

She brought you dinner sometimes, which you always took with a smile, and a thank you in a soft voice, which made her heart leap into her chest.

Vanessa wasn't what people would call experienced in love, much less in dating, or relationships, but she knew that what you made her feel was not only attraction, but also affection.

Affection had always eluded Vanessa. First from her father, given his nature, and then from her mother, who vanished from the face of the Earth when Vanessa was a child.

But you were different. You seemed to exhale affection through your pores. It was so natural for you, whether with her or with everything else, that she could feel devotion slowly consuming her.

Her father had started to suspect that something was up. He had always controlled her outings, only letting her out at night to fulfill her duties as his spy, but she was checking on the guard a little too much for his liking.

He had even cornered her, grabbing her arm tightly and pressing her against the wall. “I’m warning you, Vanessa,” he said. “If I find out that you are crossing the line between my orders and your personal matters, it’s not going to end well for either of you. Especially not for her.”

She had suppressed a shiver as William let go of her arm.

Vanessa knew it was risky, but she didn’t want to stop. In fact, she couldn’t. It’s like she had become addicted to you.

Addicted to your smile, your humor, your voice. 

She hadn’t even touched you yet, aside from the handshake on the first night she met you, and the occasional brush of hands when she handed you some food, or when you gave her a mug filled with coffee.

She loved to hear you rant about the books you read, even if she thought that reading was boring, especially the books you always chose to read.

“I’m telling you,” you said, “this has to have some truth to it!” You exclaimed, holding the book up, whose cover read “The Turn of the Screw.” 

“What if ghosts do exist?” You continued. She rolled her eyes, slightly unamused by your interest in the supernatural. 

She knew ghosts were real. The whole place was a proof of it. All the deaths, and the attacks, it was obvious what had provoked them, but she remained silent as you kept speaking.

“I mean,” you continued, “you know energy can’t be destroyed, right? And humans are energy. So what really happens to our energy when we die?”

You seemed fascinated by the concept of ghosts now. All thanks to that stupid book.

“Y/N, you can’t be serious,” Vanessa scoffed. 

You rolled your eyes, “you just don’t get it.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “Yeah, that’s probably it.”

You grinned, “I could lend you the book if you want.” She chuckled.

“That won’t be necessary, believe me. I know enough thanks to what you have told me,” she smiled.

“Well, that sounds like you don’t like reading.”

 She laughed, “Not all of us can be workbooks like you, you know?”

Your grin widened. “You just don’t appreciate the beauty of reading and analyzing.”

Vanessa hummed, and smirked, “that must be why I became a cop.” You groaned. “God, no. I thought you had forgotten about that.” She smiled.

“I never forget the things you tell me,” she said softly. 

You smiled softly, blushing slightly while you looked down at your book. On the page you were left on you put the handkerchief, which you were now using as a separator, and closed the book.

“You know,” you spoke softly. “I know that might have sounded pretty mean. But I said it as a compliment.”

She met your gaze, “how so?”

You licked your lips. “Well, I could never be a cop. To be a cop you need to be brave, smart and caring. Reading is something I’ve always loved, that’s why I’m majoring in english literature, but you,” you paused. “You became a police officer to help people, something that has never crossed my mind.”

Vanessa swallowed, knowing that she wasn’t a real cop, and that she wasn’t pretending to help anyone but herself and her father.

“Your decision to pursue a career that allows you to help others doesn't compare to my futile decision to study literature because I like to read and be annoying.” You smiled at her again. “I could never be like you, and I admire you, honestly.”

She felt a little overcome with emotion, and completely filled with guilt. She swallowed her feelings down.

“Thank you. For your kind words.”

You grinned, “as long as I’m alive you’ll get to hear more kind words coming from me.”

One night, when Vanessa descended the staircase, carrying the bag with her fake belongings, William was waiting for her at the foot of the steps, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

He wore that look he always had when he was planning something, like a predator stalking its prey.

“Vanessa,” he began, his voice cold like ice, “where are you going?”

She swallowed, lifting the bag for her father to see, hoping he would deduce her intentions, but he merely arched an eyebrow. “I’m going to Freddy’s”, Vanessa said in a small voice, “to check on the night guard.”

She brushed past him, walking towards the garage.

“You’ve been checking on her an awful lot lately, hm?” 

William trailed behind her, his pace slowly but his steps wide.

Vanessa didn’t turn to look at him. She opened the car’s trunk, throwing the bag inside, and just hummed in acknowledgement to her dad’s words.

“Is there a reason why?” William insisted.

Vanessa sighed. “No, dad. I just want to keep an eye on her,” she closed the trunk with more force than she intended to. “I’m just doing as you told me. I’m just doing what you entrusted me to do.” 

He hummed, sounding more like the typical cartoon villain than an actual man. 

“Remember what I told you, Vanessa.”

Vanessa didn’t answer, she just opened the driver’s side door, and got into the car.

Just as she was adjusting the mirror by her window, William grabbed her wrist tightly, and squeezed even tighter.

Vanessa groaned.

“I’m serious, Vanessa,” he leaned closer to her through the window, towering over his daughter. Vanessa felt herself shrinking on her seat.

"If I catch you spilling your guts to that filthy little friend of yours, I'll skin her alive, and you, dear daughter, I'll lock you up in the basement with the prototypes of animatronics I've been working on.”

Vanessa’s breath got caught in her throat. “Dad–” she tried to explain, but he just kept talking, squeezing her wrist harder.

“And I assure you, little girl,” William practically sneered, “this time those animatronics will serve their purpose if you dare come near them."

Finally, he let go of her wrist, or rather, he flung it away from him, and Vanessa's hand hit the mirror.

William walked away, slamming the door behind him as he left the room.

Vanessa sat there, still trembling, holding onto her hand, which hurt pretty bad. But she didn’t know what was worse, if the physical pain, the threats against you, or the threats against her.

When she had finally calmed down enough, she turned on the engine, and drove away.

Away from her father, and looking for you.

Your smile had disappeared, and turned instead into a frown as soon as you saw the state she was in. 

A nervous mess, with tense shoulders, and a bruise starting to form on her wrist. Wide, alert eyes met yours instead of the usual bright eyes that typically greeted you.

You closed the door behind her, the atmosphere was so tense that it could have been cut with a knife.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” she sighed, leaning against one of the tables that were used for dinning back in the day.

You crossed the distance between you and her in two seconds, and delicately took her injured wrist.

“Then what is this?”

Vanessa’s pulse quickened. You were touching her.

Your skin felt so soft, so warm, and inviting. She suppressed a shiver as she swallowed dryly and looked away. 

“That’s just,” she gestured with her other hand, “an occupational hazard.” “I've never seen you have one of these before," you murmured. “Does it hurt?” You asked as you poked the bruise lightly. Vanessa hissed.

“Shit–” you let go of her hand as if it burned you. “I’m so sorry–”

“It’s fine,” she cut you off. “I’m fine, really.” She ran a hand through her carefully arranged ponytailed hair. “That just… happens sometimes. Sometimes things just happen to you, and you can’t explain why.” She swallowed, “you never know if you did something to cause them, or if that is just how life works.” You opened your mouth to say something, but then closed it again.

“Come with me,” you said finally, walking towards your office.

She hesitated for a moment, but ultimately followed you.

Once inside, you took your backpack and began to search inside. After a few moments, you pulled out a cold juice can wrapped in the handkerchief from last time.

“I brought this because I wanted to give it to you,” you said after you saw Vanessa’s look of confusion. “But I have books in my backpack, I don’t want them to get wet.” 

You unwrapped the handkerchief, which was now cold. With a subtle gesture, you  extended your hand towards her, indicating for her to bring her wrist closer.

She complied. You took her wrist, wrapping the cold cloth around it.

“There,” you said, “that’ll help with the swelling.” 

She took a deep breath, touched by the gesture.

“Thank you,” Vanessa said, meeting your gaze as she smiled softly.

“Anytime,” you replied, offering the juice can to her. “Besides, it matches your uniform.”

Vanessa smiled, taking the can from your hand. Her fingers brushed against yours, which caused a tingle to go down her spine.

Your smile widened, your eyes traveling to her injured wrist. “I hope it helps,” you gestured towards the piece of cloth wrapped around her wrist.

Vanessa nodded, pulling the tab from the can, and resting her lips on the cold surface of the lid. “It already feels better,” she admitted with a soft voice.

“Good,” you replied. You both stood there in silence, and Vanessa couldn’t help but notice that providing her with some comfort made you look strangely content.

“Have you seen the animatronics perform?” She asked suddenly.

You huffed a laugh. “Uh, no. Not really.”

She took a sip from the juice, “would you like to?”

You met her gaze, holding it for a second, and then you nodded.

When Vanessa woke up the next day, she lay in bed, mulling over everything that had happened the night before.

You giving her your handkerchief to help with the swelling of her wrist, the juice can, the animatronics' performance, the dancing, the way you rested your forehead against hers as you laughed after tripping over your own feet.

It felt surreal, to say the least.

When she finally decided to descend the stairs to find something to eat, her father was in the dining room reading the newspaper.

Their eyes met, but due to the fight from the night before, neither of them said anything and shortly after, William disappeared from her sight.

She was relieved, of course. A day without William meant a day without problems. No arguments, no empty threats, and no deathly stares.

Vanessa decided to just stay in and relax. It was true that she was glad William wasn’t around, but she didn’t want to upset him further by going out without permission. With her going out almost every night, deliberately disobeying him and lying to his face. She didn’t want to think about what could happen if he found out.

Hours passed and Vanessa was growing worried. Had something happened to him? 

It was true that whenever they were together, Vanessa felt like she had to walk on eggshells, always being on edge. But he was her dad after all, wasn't he? Her only family.

After a while of pacing out in front of the door, Vanessa sat down.

She started dozing off, and just when the clock was about to strike midnight, the door opened, with a very calm William stepping inside.

Vanessa immediately jumped from her seat, rushing to him.

William gave her an exasperated look, but smiled to her nonetheless.

He unceremoniously walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge, and Vanessa trailed behind him.

“Dad?”

William ignored her, taking the carton of milk out of the fridge, and setting it on the table. He then turned to the cupboard, taking out a mug, and lastly, took out powdered coffee from the kitchen cabinet.

“Dad,” Vanessa insisted. What was his deal now? Was he going to ignore her until his anger had dissipated?

He turned around, turning on the hot water, and filling his cup, which was now full of coffee powder. He hummed a tune, one Vanessa could recognize from the songs the animatronics used to play, she clenched her fists.

“Father,” her patience was running out, her voice was more commanding this time.

William continued on his task, now pouring the milk after having dissolved the coffee with water. Then he took the sugar jar and opened it.

She hated him. She hated him so much.

She hated his smugness, his incredibly enormous ego, the total dismissal of her feelings, the threats, the fights, the screaming, the hits –

Her fists clenched until her knuckles turned white. What was his problem? All Vanessa had ever done was to please him, and when she displeased him just once, he preferred to be away all day and ignore her afterward.

“Look at me!” she all but growled. 

William audibly sighed, taking a sip out of his drink. He put the mug on the counter, and finally acknowledged Vanessa’s presence.

“Tell me,” he said in a monotone voice, “are you going to visit your little friend today?”

Vanessa swallowed. “No, I’m not.”

William raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really? That’s surprising.” 

Vanessa opened her mouth to answer, but he interrupted her with a low chuckle. “I mean, you were so eager to see her last night, weren’t you?”

She inhaled, trying to relax and push her uncomfort down. “Yes,” she said between her teeth. “But since it upset you, I’m not going to go check on her for at least a couple of days.”

William hummed.

“Is that satisfying enough for you, father?”

“Bah,” with a dismissive gesture, he waved off her words, turning his head to the side with disdain.

“Playing the “father” card with me, like you’re a little kid,” he murmured to himself. “I know what you’re doing,” he turned to her, closing the distance between them.

Vanessa recoiled, panic etching her face. 

She tried walking away from him until her back hit the wall, and William finally cornered her.

“You think you’re so smart, huh?” He smiled condescendingly at her. “You think you’re so tough, so… lucky. One day reality it’s going to hit you, and you’ll realize you’re not worth any of the trouble you’re causing.”

He raised his hand towards her face.

Vanessa’s breath quickened. She felt as if all of the air in the room suddenly vanished. Her chest felt tight, her throat was dry and her eyes burned with unshed tears.

William gently stroked her cheek before slowly sliding his hand downward. He rested his hand around Vanessa’s neck, not squeezing, just to hold her in place, like a silent warning.

His voice was soft and calm, but incredibly supercilious. “The day will come, Vanessa. Just wait and see.”

After a week of radio silence, Vanessa couldn't take it anymore and went to look for you at work.

Something had changed. She didn't know what exactly, but you weren't the same.

You would barely face her, let alone look at her. You would avoid her touch, you wouldn't accept her offerings of food.

You didn't offer her coffee anymore.

Vanessa couldn't help but wonder if it was something she had done.

Every time she tried to mention it, you brushed it off like it wasn’t important.

“I’m just tired, that’s all,” or sometimes it was “I just had a rough day, don’t worry about it.”

You were lying, it was painfully obvious, and both of you were aware of it.

But why? What had happened? 

Vanessa couldn’t help but roll around in bed every night, thinking, analyzing.

Whatever it was, she was determined to find out.

There was something else, too.

Her father had also changed his behavior.

He stopped asking where she was going. He also spent most of his time in the basement, working on his projects.

Vanessa honestly didn't mind as much, she felt better with him being out of sight most of the time.

That night, when she went downstairs ready to check on you at Freddy's, he was in the living room, reading the newspaper.

“How's your little friend?” He asked, not lifting his gaze.

“She's fine,” Vanessa answered, maybe more coldly than she should've.

William chuckled, amused, for some reason.

“I've been thinking about placing an ad in the newspaper to look for another security guard.”

“Another?” Vanessa frowned. “Are you going to fire her?”

William lifted his gaze, “you sometimes worry me, Vanessa.”

Vanessa was taken aback by this, but her father didn't elaborate.

She sighed, making her way to the garage. 

Vanessa heard her father say, “have fun,” as she left the room.

She was inside Freddy's in no time. You had developed the habit of leaving the door unlocked, Vanessa knew she probably had to scold you for that, but she honestly couldn't care less.

Vanessa headed to your office, but something stopped her.

Was that the smell of…?

No, she interrupted her train of thought. No, it can't be, it's impossible.

“Is it, though?” A voice inside her head said.

She swallowed, turning around and heading to the storage room.

With her heart beating madly inside, she entered the room.

An incredibly strong and nauseating smell hit her. 

Vanessa recognized the smell easily. 

Putrefaction.

Death.

And there were you. Or rather, what was left of you.

Her heart was beating so fast that she was subconsciously afraid that her blood pressure would drop and she would faint.

Slowly, painfully so, she approached your body.

At first glance, and also thanks to the stench, she could tell this had happened days ago, if not weeks.

How?

You talked with her not too long ago, barely a couple of days had passed.

How? Who?

Vanessa could no longer stand, and her knees gave way.

How? Who? Why?

All she could do was stare at your decomposed body, the dry wounds, the rotten blood, the pale skin. 

It was like seeing the kids again. All over again.

Before she could When he realized it, big tears were sliding down his cheeks and falling to the ground.

This couldn't be happening. Not to you, at least.

It didn't make any sense, one day she had you dancing in her arms, and now you were lying dead on the ground.

Why?

Could she have prevented this?

She never even get to tell you how she felt. She never got to tell you that she liked you.

Vanessa trembled, unable to stop crying. Was this a divine punishment?

Did God see all her atrocities and decided to take action against her?

She tried to brush away the tears, being too harsh.

It hurt. Everything hurt. From her eyes, to her head, and her heart.

Her chest felt tight, she couldn't breathe. No amount of trying was going to compensate for it.

You were dead. But she had seen you, hadn't she?

And that's when she heard footsteps behind her. 

Vanessa snapped her head back, and lo and behold. You were there.

Vanessa choked, trying to say something, anything.

“You're gone,” was the first thing that came out of her mouth, barely audible over her sobs.

You nodded, softly.

She raised her voice, “why didn't you say anything?”

You just stared at her for a moment. “I don't know.”

“You don't know?” Vanessa stood up on her wobbly legs. 

“It wasn't supposed to be like this,” you say. 

Vanessa looks at your face after what felt like eternity. So that was why you would recoil from her touch. That was why you would never look at her, you would never let her look at you. It was disturbingly obvious now.

Your eyes were basically drained of life, hollow, empty. 

She would have realized something was amiss if you hadn't taken all those precautions.

The tears kept falling.

“I'm sorry,” Vanessa breathed out with a broken voice.

You managed a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. “Don't be. It wasn't your fault.”

She choked on her sobs, her cries getting louder.

“I don't understand,” she choked, “why are you still here?”

You (or rather, your ghost,) looked down, sighing. “I guess what they say it's true. You can't go if you have something pending.”

You approached her. "I guess I should tell you.”

Vanessa looked down at your corpse and then back at your ghost.

“Tell me.”

You sighed, smiling bittersweetly. 

“Let me tell you something else first,” you began. “I still admire you for your decision to become a police officer. I know you think it's nothing. But not for me, because I know you'll help with the investigation. I know you'll report what happened here, and I'll finally get some peace.”

Vanessa swallowed. She wouldn't. She couldn't.

“Anyways, I…” you closed your eyes, and opened them again. “I'm ready to tell you.”

A beat passed.

“I like you, Vanessa.”

Numb. That's the only way she could describe it.

Her hands felt numb after dragging your body through the cold and burying it behind Freddy's, on the empty lot William had bought a few years ago.

Her heart was numb after your confession. 

“I like you.”

It repeated over and over again inside her head, like a broken record.

I like you, I like you, I like you.

If only she could have said, “I like you too,” before your spectrum became nothing more than dust and memories.

If only she had said something before you were killed.

If only she had done anything at all.

She knew exactly who had done it. She couldn't pretend that she didn't see it anymore. 

That night, coming home felt like a nightmare.

Vanessa had barged inside the basement, and screamed at him. At her father.

The one who had taken you away from her.

She screamed, and threw everything she could find at him. She cried, and cried, and cried.

And William remained impassive until he didn't.

Vanessa made the mistake of tearing William's work plans off the wall, and at that moment he finally saw red and revealed himself.

With an incredible amount of force, he grabbed Vanessa and pressed her against his desk.

“What do you think you're doing, you stupid creature? You think throwing a tantrum will bring her back? Do you forget who you are, and who I am?”

William basically spat the words out, Vanessa took a deep breath.

“Look at what you have become,” William narrowed his eyes as he said this.

With a trembling voice, Vanessa replied, “I am what you made me. I am your daughter.”

He growled, “you're unbearable. I want you out of my sight!”

William pushed her out of the basement, and locked himself inside.

A couple of days later, Vanessa was packing everything she owned, including the handkerchief you had given to her that one time, and leaving her dad's house. For good this time.

And a month after escaping her father's shadow, she was changing her last name from Afton to Shelly and enrolling in the police academy.

A/N: Well, that was a ride, wasn't it? Reblogs are appreciated.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Weasley Siblings Reacting To Your Muscle Spasms ♿️

William ‘Bill’

He can relate.

He has his own issue with them, from his attack by Greyback.

It’s more subtle, and tend to get triggered by stress, but he can be in your shoes.

They DO get worse when the full moon is closer/here. Since a curse breaker, he was able to prevent himself from being turned. But still has side effects.

He doesn’t get startled when you have a bad day, and they get triggered. Nor does it bother him when you both sleep together.

He’s someone who can get it, and often forgets you even have them. When he notices, it’s just another day. He GETS it, and you can have someone to confide in

Charlie

He has them. He has them BAD.

Given he works with dragon’s, and all the time, he has suffered some nerve damage. Amongst just a million other health issues.

He’s turned it into a straight up game on who twitches the most sometimes. Weasleys. You knew what you were signing up for

Since he has his owns, you have a taste of your own medicine of what it’s like to fall asleep with someone who has them.

He genuinely knows what it’s like, and it’s nice to be with someone who gets it. Doesn’t freak out every single time it happens. It’s healing. You two are buddies in this world of muscle tension

Percy

He’s…..anxious. To put it lightly. He’s always been a man that startles easy, which the twins took advantage of, so it’s a lot to get used to.

But, since his older siblings have similar issues, he isn’t going in blind either. He’s the type to be quick to try and learn whatever his partner enjoys/suffers with.

He does get very frustrated, at the start, such as when you have an incident when your knee bumped against the table while he was working. Spilling ink everywhere. He was about to yell, but he recalled a time when Charlie did the same thing. How guilty he felt, and self conscious he was. So, he forced himself to breath, and cleaned up

It’s stressful, but he’s wanting to learn and help any way he can. He finds something like that not a deal breaker. You can’t help it, and neither can his brothers

Sleeping with him is a struggle, and doesn’t happen for a while. Not until you are both deeper in the relationship

Over all, it’s a struggle. He’s an able bodied man dating a disabled partner. But, he grew up with siblings having those similar issues. So, in a morbid sense, seeing and feeling them reminds him of home

Fred

As stated, he has siblings who have similar issues. So he isn’t phased by it nearly. Not to mention he’s most certainly developed some of his own, with being a man that has tested so many wild things on himself for the sake of WWW. Also, ya know, Fireworksexual

He’s the type that teases and would often call you “Jitterbug” or stuff like that. If you weren’t into that, he would be quick to correct himself. Jokes are to make people laugh after all, and tease those that had it coming. You were born/in an incident. Never had it coming

Given his whole aesthetic being a man of chaos, he doesn’t get bothered by you having flare ups at all. Just another day. But he would be always concerned when you have a bad day. Seeing how intense they can get. Even secretly trying to invent something to help

Given how close him and George are, they would often sneak into bed with each other when having nightmares. So having someone who’s spacing in their sleep doesn’t bother him a lick. But he will have his worries

It’s just part of who you are. And it’s part of who he is. Just one of the flaws that make you so beautiful to him

George

Rather similar to Fred, to many degrees, but he is still an independent person. And is a bit more sensitive to it all

He worries about you a bit more, and can’t help but wonder if they ever hurt. Charlie and Bill say they don’t. Unless they hit something, but still. He’s gonna worry about you when he sees the flares

When he loses his ear, after the war, he developed his own spasms from the trauma it did to his muscles and blood vessels. So he has some, and jokes that you two are twinning now. He immediately cried after saying that

Whenever you have a bad flare up in your sleep, expect to have him hold you closer. Kissing your head, in the hopes it some how. It doesn’t work like that, but he’s a wizard. Maybe it does

He’s going to worry, a lot. But it’s all in good faith, and because he cares. He’s going to try and help somehow whenever he can. And you can’t stop him

Ron

Expect to hear good ole “Bloody Hell-“ Whenever you have a bad one. He gets startled easy, like Percy, but is more audible about it. Over the years he gets better, but expect a lot of it

Growing up with siblings have similar, he doesn’t really get bothered. Just startled. Especially since he hasn’t been around his siblings along growing up, due to the age gap.

He secretly has a talent of reading spasm writing though. Since Bill and Charlie write to the family often. And since it’s ink, you can’t really fix it. So you never have to feel self conscious about your flare ups when writing

He will get startled awake, now and again, when you start sharing a bed. But he refuses to ever tell you that. Knowing how brave you are to attempt it. It’s the least he can do to try and make it work in return

When more of his siblings develop spasm, he feels a weird relief. Like if he never dated you, he couldn’t help them like he could with you

It’s new, but he’s a Weasley. Chaos is in their DNA. It’s just something you can’t control, like he can’t control his nervous ticks. It takes a while to adjust, but that’s kinda basic human nature. To adjust to new things. And you are a new thing here wants to keep

Ginny

Given her Qudditch career and lifestyle, she gets muscle fatigue often. So she can relate to having twitches. Course, having them twenty four seven is a whole other ball game for her

Given her experience, she is happy to help massage your joints and muscles. Using every trick in the book to see if they can help you in any way at all

Given she’s the baby, she didn’t really grow up around her eldest brothers, so she isn’t quite used to the concept of another person having them. Even with her team mates, they are far more subtle and they don’t exactly spend twenty four seven together

She sleeps like a damn brick. So you never have to worry about waking her up. But expect her own leg kicks when it’s been a long day on the field

She’s going to care for you deeply, and use all her special tricks to help you. Even though it doesn’t really work like that, the mental health boost it gives you still does numbers. She is trying because she CAN and WANTS to, and that’s all that matters

[chimkennuggies]

Again with the Raphael x Cazador agenda bc I'm still losing my mind over them‼️‼️‼️

Anyway, thought I'd share some headcanons bellow the cut as well:

- I just KNOW they both have hour long conversations about some play they've seen or book they've read. Their taste is similar in that aspect.

- Raphael knows about Lady Incognita's books (that's canon btw) and mentioned it to Cazador once, who instantly started ranting about how the girl didn't appreciate the "gift" (he doesn't appreciate it either if you think about all that datamined/beta stuff + how much he just wants to be "normal" BUT he is also a hypocrite sooo), also, he used to give advice to her whenever he found one of her drafts.

- In a modern setting Raphael would probably be like those annoying filmbros who doesn't stfu about some niche film they've seen and Cazador would be the same with some celtic metal group that has like 24 monthly listeners (kinda projecting in this one, I'm both).

- They would talk shit about anyone + if they go to some ball together after the first 40 minutes they'll probably end up talking only to each other.

- On the hc that both of them are trans, Cazador hasn't had any operations and isn't on t (although it's not bc he's comfortable in his own body but bc he doesn't want to have anything to do with it, he just prefers to live with an idealized version he made on his head after centuries of not seeing his reflection), Raphael is literally the opposite, he has had all the operations and has been on t since he ran away from Cania, hating the self he left behind.

- Now, some shoutouts to the fact that they're both SO AWFUL, I love them being so so toxic.

- Cazador usually doesn't like being touched and Raphael just thrives on being an asshole so he's always breaking the man's boundaries. PDA in the worst possible way.

- Cazador enjoys to compare Raphael to his father because he finds it extremely entertaining the fact that he takes it at heart and gets so offended by it (he knows how much the other has suffered because of his progenitor).

- Cazador having scars on his body from before being a vampire and Raphael biting them‼️‼️

-Raphael listening to Cazador talking shit about all of Raphael's features he despises just to make him even more insecure (let's be real, Raphael is SO fucking self-conscious, because there's no way all his paintings and Haarlep themself being so completely different to his real self is a normal trait).

- Both of them being prone to violence and fighting for every minor disagreement would make them the worst neighbors possible ngl.

- Raphael having the lower canines really really sharp while Cazador has the cuspid canines being almost razor-edged, iykyk.

Lastly, here are some songs I associate w/ them because I haven't seen any playlist include these:

Cazador:

Rule #34 - Fish in a Birdcage

Femtex - Therapy?

Never Wanted to Dance - MSI

Under the Spell - Me And That Man

Heel On The Shovel - 16 Horsepower

Raphael:

The Hell Of It - Paul Williams

Low Estate - 16 Horsepower

Nunemaker's Parable - Everybody's Worried About Owen

You're So Vain - Carly Simon

Bensonhurst Blues - Oscar Benton

An this one is just bc I find it quite funny but Mi Gran Noche from Raphael (the spanish singer) is quite iconic ngl.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Archived Link

Some highlights:

Her preventative chemotherapy treatment continues over the summer - and possibly even beyond - while her recovery will be ongoing for many months to come once even this is concluded, I understand. She will continue to work privately, and engage publicly as and when she can. Kensington Palace hope to provide guidance at some point in the future about what a return to ‘a more regular workload’ might look like. But it is important to stress that they are absolutely ‘not at that stage yet’, according to one royal insider.

and

What most will not appreciate is that Catherine had actually been unwell for some time in the run up to her initial abdominal surgery in January (further details of which have not been made public yet by Kensington Palace). It was only after that ‘planned’ operation, of course, which left her in hospital for two weeks, that her cancer was discovered. As always she hid her suffering well, but those who know her are keen to emphasise just what a tough time it has been.

and

This means that far from hitting the ground running in the autumn, as some might have hoped after her glowing appearance at the weekend, it will continue to be a ‘slow build’ for the princess, taking on things as and when she feels physically - and, no doubt, mentally - strong enough. She is likely to continue to attend keynote national events, such as Remembrance Sunday.

and

However, I am told things are finally ‘moving in the right direction‘ and the couple and their young family have enjoyed a ‘fabulous’ summer so far in Norfolk, living at Anmer Hall, their home and sanctuary on the monarch’s Sandringham estate. Spending time outdoors - cycling, sailing, and hanging out with family and friends - has put colour back in all their cheeks. ‘They made a clear and conscious decision to take time out as a family this summer. Seeing them both looking so happy and relaxed with each other and so comfortable in each other’s company tells you a lot about where they are,’ one insider remarks, suggesting that old adage ‘what doesn’t break you, makes you stronger’ is as true for the royals as it is for the rest of us.

and

It is hoped the family will be able to travel to Scotland to stay with the King at Balmoral as usual at the end of this month. Traditionally the Waleses spent time around the Bank Holiday weekend on the royal estate. William will return to work as soon as Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis return to school early next month. While he will continue to prioritise his wife and family, it is anticipated the future king will now start to take on a fairly full programme of royal duties again.

and lastly,

And when the Princess is ready to return to a more public life, she will. For now, however, Catherine continues to take her recovery one day at a time. While she happily appears to be getting better, the princess, more than anyone, knows that for the time being it’s still important for her to walk, not run.

[scotianostra]

Mary, Queen of Scots, was born at Linlithgow Palace, on December 8th 1542.

Mary’s father was at his beloved palace of Falkland, where he would in fact die aged thirty on 6 days later, having learned of the birth of his baby daughter. The true cause of the death of James V has never been satisfactorily explained, although all sources agree that the king underwent a physical and nervous collapse as a result of his humiliation and devastation at the Battle of Solway Moss. However as I posted two weeks ago the King missed the battle and was perhaps suffering from a fever beforehand, in my opinion it is being used as a poor excuse for his death.

The room in which Mary was born is now little more than a romantic ruin without a roof, however its location in the north-west portion of Linlithgow Palace, still enjoys the view out over the loch as it did when Mary’s mother Queen Mary of Guise, gave birth to her here.

History would in fact come full circle, with Mary’s own granddaughter, Elizabeth of Bohemia, the so-called “Winter Queen”, residing also at Linlithgow in her time. The near-lying St. Michael’s Church is traditionally thought to have been the setting for Mary’s christening. Mary in fact only remained some months at Linlithgow, being taken onwards to the castle of Stirling by Mary of Guise. Historical doubt has arisen over the accuracy of December 8 as the actual birthday of Mary Queen of Scots and it has been suggested that the event in reality may have taken place on December 7th, but that December 8th was used so that the day could coincide with the feast of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Mary herself however always referred to December 8 thas the day she regarded as being her birthday.

Indeed one historical works about Mary's life gave this short account.....

"The nation partook in Mary of Guise' misfortunes, when she lost both her sons, soon after the birth of the second. She had the consolation, however of bringing her husband, while he was dying of an afflicted spirit, a daughter, on the 7th of December 1542, in the palace of Linlithgow."

The birth of Mary Queen of Scots is commemorated annually by a short private ceremony at Westminster Abbey on her birthday, 8 thDecember, together with the laying of flowers in the Queen’s memory. The Marie Stuart Society raised funds to enable a statue of the Queen to be erected on the Peel at Linlithgow Palace, the place of her birth and I have heard some of them gather there now to remember Queen Mary.

I also think it sad that our Queen was buried in Westminster, the traditional burial setting for many of England’s monarchs and the setting for each royal coronation since her own death. Although Mary had herself requested to be buried in France, this wish was not granted by Elizabeth I and she was initially interred with great solemnity at Peterborough Cathedral in late 1587, where her body remained at rest for twenty five years. It was the eventual wish of James VI/I, that her body be removed from Peterborough Cathedral to Westminster Abbey in 1612, ordering a spectacular marble canopy tomb to his mother’s memory by the sculptors Cornelius and William Cure, today to be found opposite the tomb of Elizabeth I, in the Abbey’s south aisle of the Lady Chapel. The tomb is loaded with symbolism particular to Mary’s ancestry and life with a crowned Scottish lion, bearing a magnificent Latin mourning inscription written by Henry, Earl of Northampton and containing two verses from the Gospel book of Peter. Close to her tomb is that of her mother-in-law, Margaret, Countess of Lennox.

However, the tomb of Mary Queen of Scots did not remain undisturbed following her reburial, nor was the peace of her final resting place unbroken. Mary would come to share her burial vault with many of her descendants, including her granddaughter Elizabeth of Bohemia, the unfortunate Arbella Stuart, Prince Rupert of the Rhine, the much lamented Henry Prince of Wales as well as ten infant children of James II and the eighteen babies of Queen Anne who died at birth. This search had been prompted by Dean Stanley in 1867, because the location of the coffin of Mary’s son James VI/I was at that time unknown. Logical thought led the searchers to assume that he may have been buried in the Stuart vault of his mother, although his lead coffin was eventually found in the vault of Henry VII, where he lay alongside the remains of his great-great-grandparents Henry VII and Queen Elizabeth of York.

So there you have it from her birth in 1542, to her death in 1587, I think I cover enough of her life throughout the year for you all to fill in the missing years, which as usual I will endeavour to do once more in the year 2020.

The pic is her portrait by the French artist François Clouet. she is thought to have been 16-18 years old at the time.

[tan1shere]

Changes pt 3

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: finally what you've all been waiting for, I hope you all enjoy this was such a fun story to write. I feel like I wrote this well, especially the anxiety as I suffer hugely from it, a few techniques in there of how I deal with it if you also struggle <3

Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?

Warnings: MDNI. Smut at end !! Implied rape from a past relationship, anxiety, pet names, SOFT DOM ELS ! mentions of drinking and I think that's it :)

Text: orange-ellie pink-reader blue-angela

The red text is flashbacks which is near the end !!

Masterlist || pt 1 ! , pt 2 !

"It's all an act. Dont fall for any of it."

...

"She's gunna hurt you Y/n."

...

"I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me."

...

"Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics."

...

"She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you."

...

"We warned you."

It was spiraling in your brain, everyone's words including hers. You felt foolish for thinking you could change her in any way. An absolute fool. Why couldn't you of listened to everyone. All you had was hope. But that died that night, that hope was officially gone for good. You had been curled up in bed all of your Saturday. You hated to admit it but you were crying. Laying in your bed with cold tears staining your face. You had come home from that party in the exact same state.

"Oh, babe.." you heard Angela's voice softly say, bringing you into her embrace. You sunk into the feeling letting out tears. "What's up?" She asks pulling back a little. "Y-you were right. I'm such a fucking idiot." You sob. She was confused. "Woah what, slow down." Her hand rubs on your arms, bringing you with her to sit on the couch. "Me and Ellie. Well we were dating in secret, I'm so sorry for that. But we aren't anymore." She changes her expression to a more serious one. "That fucking wh-" But you didn't even want her to finish that. You knew Ellie had hurt you but it was fairly new, you still had some love for her. As troublesome that may be it was nothing but the truth. You had to get over that tho. You had to.

You were laying on your side, still mulling over those same sentences over and over again. It was like a tiny devil in your brain telling you 'you fucked up' but you soon hear your door creaking open. "I made you some sammies." Angie came in with a sweet smile. Your back was currently facing her and you didn't make any effort in changing that as you let out a dry hm. She lets out a sigh. "I won't watch you starve because of some silly girl who's hurt you. Please." You turn over looking at her. "I'll eat, just not as hungry right now." She walks over setting the plate down on your bedside table, moving to sit on your bed. "You're strong ok? I know you will get past this." You give her a tiny nod. "I might just take a nap." She nods in agreement going to leave. "Good idea."

A few minutes go by when you hear the door. You couldn't make out the voice so you continue to rest on your side. Holding the drawing she did of you in hand, staring at it. All of this, everything just wasted. You couldn't bare to look at it any longer, chucking it in a random direction, deciding to get some rest.

Ellies pov.

The night before:

"Oh this one's going to be a good one I can feel it." I say, examining the crowds of people. It was booming, that's for sure. I look at her, she looked so effortlessly pretty. It stunned me. "You're so silly." She speaks. "Come on let's get a drink." I then say, grabbing her wrist and dragging her gently with me. Her smile was brightening every bad thing in this world. "I'll be the sober help." I smile at her. "Not even one love?" She just shakes her head. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?"

It had been maybe an hour into the party and I didn't feel completely with it. Y/n was sitting comfortably in my lap, just looking so beautiful. "Mmm I want another." I slur. And there it was, her gorgeous giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." I blurt out suddenly. "Well that's very kind of you." She replies. But as I keep looking at her I could tell something was off, or was I daydreaming? Was the alcohol just messing with my brain. I decide to ignore it, not in my right mind. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." I watch as she smiles at me, probably replying but the music drowns out not only my thoughts but any formable words. Feeling her get off and leave, I could feel my brain going fuzzy too. But deep down something just didn't feel 100%. I eventually turn my head to look at her, noticing Kenny speaking to her.

That boils my blood. Why can't he just mind his own business? Stop it Ellie, you haven't been angry like this in forever, don't break that streak now. She comes back over handing me my drink, I give her a mumbled thank you. "Was he hassling you?" "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." As I look at her I notice her posture shift, i knew it wasn't her getting comfortable on my lap. Because if anything she looked uncomfortable.

"You alright mama?" I decide to just ask. "I'm just going to go for a pee." She states, beginning to get off. "Oh.. alright love." I'd be lying If I said I wasn't worried, but the other half of me felt dizzy, making me forget slightly what was going on. I shake my head going to get up and get another drink. When I eventually hear shuffling next to me. I turn my attention to see a dirty blonde girl. "Hey." She gently says. It takes me a moment as confusion washes over me. "Hi?" Silence. "You don't remember me?" More silence. Because no, I didn't know who the hell she was, until I take a better look. "Sophy." She smiles. "Ah so you do remember." I somehow felt awkward. "Uhmm yeah." Still really confused on why she's even talking to me. "I missed you." Stunned. "I- huh?" Now I was really baffled. "But- i kinda just left ya." It was bad, but it was the truth, why would she miss me. "Yeah well. You were still hot." I furrow my brows at a loss of words. "I- wha-" When I suddenly feel her lips on mine, I felt all too sober right then as my eyes widen. But before I could push her away- "Ehem." I hear someone clear their throat, I don't even need to turn around to know who it was.

"Fuck.." I mutter, slowly turning to face her. "Wait baby no i-" I began but suddenly my freshly poured drink was being dumped on me. I sigh. "No." She points at me. "Ellie what the actual fuck." I stare at her, saying nothing. Not even knowing what to say. Fuck, it's like it's happening all over again, speak you idiot. My eyes widen as she starts to cry.. ive never seen her cry before, safe to say I never ever wanted to witness it again. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." I immediately shake my head. It was all wrong. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But she cuts me off, shoving the cup into my chest. "Shut up Ellie." And I listen. I couldn't fuck things up any more then i have. Right...

It was silent, after a second or two she soon goes to leave. "Wait-" I start, but it was no use. She was gone in the swarm of people. "Fuck." I curse under my breath. I couldn't let this happen, not her. Not someone who I know I've fallen in love with. God Ellie you should've just told her. I wanted to make this right, after all she was my everything. I stride through the crowds when I spot her. I notice she isn't alone. God, does Kenny ever just fuck off. There's that anger again, but nothing was stopping me this time. I March on over there, pushing him to the ground ignoring all the fallen gasps. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" I retort. "You bitch." He starts to speak, getting off the floor and making an attempt to hit me, but he misses. "Fight round two then, you fucker." And it begun, the tiny fight between us. But I notice her going to leave. "Wait no- please let me explain!" I yell, grabbing onto her wrist. She immediately pulls back, with anger herself. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" I plead, but she just shakes her head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed."

And that was that. I watch as she leaves. I felt so empty like I had just lost my best friend. What the fuck was I going to do.

Missed calls. I called her so many times, I was freaking out. Think Ellie. God. This was suppose to be the one thing I didn't fuck up. I pace in my room, debating on what is the best approach. Nothing. "Come on brain. You can be creative, don't lack in that now!" There was one option. Going to her dorm and trying to talk to her, Angela. There needed to be a backup plan tho, I had no faith in the first one. I flop on my bed with a long sigh. "You made her cry.." it hurt to even look back on, her hurt features. Her anger, but most importantly those glossy eyes. I close mine trying to get the image out, laying on my back still thinking. "Fuck it." I get up and head over to her dorm. Knocking on the door hesitantly, when Angela is suddenly in sight. "Can I spe-" "No." She immediately cuts me off. "But-" "No Ellie you broke her fucking heart. Again. Why do you always do this to people." I stare at her. "This time was an accident I swear-!" She raises a brow. "You accidentally kissed someone? Yeah alright." There was no winning this. "Please just let me talk to her and explain." She looks at me, but not before shutting the door in my face. Great. What now?

It had been a few days later, and there was no sight of her in classes. Which was worrying, knowing how involved she was with the work. It was saddening to say the least. I decided to have a small wind down in the library, wanting to clear my thoughts in the safe space. When I spot her just sitting in a corner, reading. Was I dreaming? I haven't seen her in days. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor, staring. Do I go over? Talk to her? What do I say?

All these thoughts raced through my mind when I just stood up properly, beginning to head over there. I stand for a few moments in hopes she'd see a person's shoes and look up. As her head rises I notice her eyes. Tired. Worn out. Red and puffy. My heart breaks all over again, especially when her soft expression turns into a bitter glance. "I uh-" I sigh scratching my neck. "Can we talk?" There was silence. Not our enjoyable silence that we'd always share. A cold silence. "Nothing to talk about." I swallow hearing her voice for what felt like forever. And it hurt, the pain deep inside her. "Please." Pleading. I just needed to try say something. I bend down getting infront of her view, needing her to look at me. When she does I just pray she hears me out. "Go on." I soften my look, hearing how uneasy her voice was. I know I didn't mean for all of this to happen, but how could I. How could I of let her kiss me at all- my thoughts were cut off when I hear a faint cough. "She kissed me." Great going. "No really? I'm well aware." God damn Ellie. "I just- I mean, I didn't kiss back." "I saw you Ellie, that's such bullshit." I close my eyes. "Ok, well I didn't enjoy it." She scoffs. "So you admit you did kiss her back?" Now I was silenced. Shit. "Uhhh- well- fuck sake."

She shakes her head. "Just leave me alone." She says dryly, getting up from her spot about to leave. I go to grab her, but don't. Wanting to not repeat history. "Please just let me explain more." She bites her lip, and I know she's suppressing tears. "You've said enough." And so I let it be. Letting her walk off and out of the quiet building.

A few weeks. That's how long ago the library incident first happened. I hadn't seen her around since. Had she left.. like Noelle. "No, don't be silly she loves it here she would never. Not because of me, right?" I huff, that had become a habit, talking to myself. I was still on the mission to get her back or atleast explain things. But my brain was bone dry. It was currently the last class of the day, I rested my chin on the desk, still trying to think. "You know Ellie." Dina began. "Why don't you do something nice for her, give her a note saying to meet somewhere, maybe make her some food or-" I shake my head. "This isn't just some ordinary girl." Dina was honestly shocked. I turn my attention to her. "Shes more than that, I have to do something bigger." She pats my shoulder. "Maybe she has changed you Williams, cuz you've never spoken such things about anyone." It's true, she definitely did. "If this was you and Jesse had done this and you still loved him and such, what would you want him to do?" She ponders that question. "Well I suppose I'd want the truth from both. Him and this random girl." My face lights up. Genius! I smile wide going to hug her. "That's brilliant Dina! But- wait. How would I even do that." I ask. "I think you should figure this out on your own, if she really has changed you I think you should know what to do."

"I'm sorry for screwing you over." My words come out rushed, looking at Sophy with so much hope. She just looks at me. "Really?" I nod. "That's very big of you." She states. "Yeah well, just trying to mend past situations." There was a long pause, before either of us spoke. "Hey, I'm sorry for kissing you that night. I'm in no way that kind of person. Maybe when I'm drunk but I didn't even know you were seeing anyone, didn't even know the Ellie Williams ever could to be fair." The confession heals something inside me, letting that hope be reassured. "So you forgive me for being a complete jerk ages ago?" She smiles and nods. "Yeah we're cool." A sigh of relief escapes my lips. "So what's happening with her? Are you two speaking." I shook my head. "Shes mad and upset and to be honest I don't blame her. I did technically kiss you back-" "you didn't actually." I furrow my brows. "Huh-?" So incredibly confused. "But she said she saw it-" Sophy shakes her head. "Well I didn't feel anything. You must've been talking or something beforehand to make it look like you did, but you didn't. I remember most when I'm drunk and you never kissed back. Plus she caught it before it could progress."

Happy was an understatement. "That's incredible, oh my God I could just k-" we give eachother a look. "Yeah no, bad line to use." I let out a slight awkward laugh, making her shake her head with a smile.

She agreed to help me smooth things over and I was forever thankful. "How do we go about this?" She asks. I think for a moment. "Maybe you could knock on her door and ask to speak with her, and maybe clear the air. Might be best if I'm not there so you can talk properly?" "Sounds good, I don't see a problem with that." I let out a breath of relief. "Ok awesome, thank you."

And after an hour or so she was back. "So how'd it go?" I sit up. "What's something she loves?" I was incredibly confused. "Reading, painting, music. Why?" She leans on the wall. "Shes a kind person, I think she forgave the fact I had apologized, but I reckon you should now do something so she can forgive you completely." I let that sink in and I knew just the thing.

Readers pov

It had been a long day, stressful classes, tons of work. Thank fuck it was a Friday and you could wind down again. You were currently snuggled up on the couch, watching some random cheesy romcom on the TV. Considering it was a Friday that meant Angela was at her boyfriends, so dorm all to yourself. You're brought back out from your thoughts to a knock at your door. Odd. Who on earth. As you open it you spot a girl, not really even processing when you suddenly remember. "Hi, can we talk quickly?" You were shocked nonetheless. What was she even doing here. You let her in anyway, your intrigue getting the better of you. You both make your way over to the couch in silence. "I would like to apologize for kissing something that didn't belong to me." She begins. You on the other hand stay silent and let her finish. "I was drunk- and that's never an excuse, but I do, do crazy shit when I am, I'm not that kind of person sober." There was a silence for a moment. "Doesn't excuse how she acted tho. I appreciate your apology." She nods. "Well if it's any constellation, she never kissed me back." That just confuses me. "Wait she didn't?" She shook her head. "I can assure you. It was just my goofy ass's doing." It only makes you feel a little silly for not knowing the whole story. "I feel embarrassed-" "don't, if anything i probably would've done the same, besides she didn't have the best track record did she? It's no surprise you'd assume." You're now the one to shake your head. "I shouldn't of, I should've let her atleast try and explain."

"Thank you for coming to clear it up with me." You say, escorting her out the door. "Of course, only right thing to do." You nod, giving her a smile. "Although I would've liked her to of come to do so- I know she's tried but I dunno- you think shes given up on trying to fix this?" She lets out a tiny laugh. "Far from that, give it some time yeah? If you know Ellie she never half asses things she loves." You just hope that's true.

It had been a few days later. Two to be exact. And you were currently on your way back to your dorm room. You were about to get your keys when you realize it's already open. "Angie?" You begin, but once you open the door you're greeted by those green eyes. That pale, freckled skin. "Ellie-" You breathe out, setting your things down. Wondering what on earth she's doing here. You notice a few things, like her guitar, then you suddenly smell food. "What is all this." "My apology." You let her continue knowing you had been a bit hard on her. "I made your favorite meal, and I know you were busy today as it was a Friday, so let me take care of you. I'm going to play your favorite song as you relax." Your gaze softens. No one had ever done this for you. Ever. So it melts your heart completely. "Here, come sit." She gestures. You go over to the couch, sitting down as she prepares her guitar, situating it properly in her lap. She begins to play the song Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, your entire face lights up. It hadn't been this bright in awhile, and Ellie seeing that makes her truly happy. Once the song finishes she looks at you. That comfortable silence being back and better than anything. "I- that took me maybe a week to learn, and honestly it wasn't easy but its the easiest song I've ever had to lea-"

But she was cut off by you kissing her. She missed it so much, how soft and safe your lips felt against hers. She was happy again. You pull back to get a look at her. "No one's ever done anything like that for me." She smiles wide. "I've never done anything like that for anyone." She states. "Well I'm glad I was the one." Another comforting silence. "You are the one." Your heart skips a beat at her words, just hearing them makes you giddy inside. "You really think so?" She shakes her head, making you furrow your brows in confusion. "I know so." And that sudden worry was gone again. All you wanted was to kiss her, she got the feeling. Setting the guitar down and bringing you closer. Kissing you so sweetly. You both part. "Well let's eat I bet you're hungry." You nod. "Starved." Your hand reaches out grabbing the plate of pasta. "Smells amazing, I didn't know you cooked." She laughs. "Again with the assuming my love." You put your hands up in your defense. "Didn't say you didn't look like the type to! ... although." A cheeky grins spreads across your face. She lets out a chuckle going to lightly hit your arm. "You're a menace." You begin to eat the meal, and it wasn't too bad. Had all the good flavorings, the perfect amount of cheese which she knew. "No one knows me as well as this, it's quite special to me." She puts her plate down to speak. "No one?" You shook your head. "Not even my parents."

She looked shocked. "Well, glad I could be the one who listens properly. Even though it truly isn't a hard thing to do." You nod at her statement. "You are a good listener. You know how I can tell?" "How?" She leans back intrigued, you take a moment. "Whenever I talk about something and I forget what we were talking about, you always will remind me of the exact thing in best detail that I was speaking of. And always it rejogs my brain. That is how I know you're truly listening." She smiles at you. "You're so cute." The compliment makes you blush, hard. "I missed you." You blurt. "I missed you too angel, so much you have no idea."

That night had been the most relaxing night of your life. It ended with her sleeping in your bed cuddling you until you fell asleep, the safeness you felt was undeniable. It was a regular Tuesday, not too busy but also not so quiet. It all went down hill with the last assignment you got, since you had been a bit out of it recently. You must admit you were slacking. It's not like you at all but you were determined to redeem yourself. That is until the project was due in 2 days. A project this big, no way in hell you were getting it done by then. Not unless you stayed up all night and day. It didn't help that you had classes ontop of that. Stress started to arrive as you go over the assignment. You were currently at the library, skimming it over and over. You begin to bite your lip, chewing and searching for any loose skin as that seemed to help you in some way. It's like a calming technique you picked up through the years, although the consequences aren't so calming. You would forever get ulcers that prevented you from eating because of the infuriating pain. You needed to stop doing it truth be told. You were pulled from the slight manic reading when Ellie is heard. "Hey baby, whatcha doin." She sits down across from you. "Just this assignment." You give her a smile. "How was your day?" You ask her.

"Pretty boring, but hey. Not anymore." She smiles at you now too. "Wanna do something later, you can come over and we can just chill." God that sounded nice but you knew you had to decline. "You can do this and maybe I draw or practice guitar, whatever suits you." God she was so sweet and thoughtful. "That's such a beautiful offer, Els but I think I'm just going to go back to my room to try finish this." And Ellie being Ellie she was agreeing. "Ofcourse yeah! Let me know if you need some company at all." She goes to get up, but before leaving giving you a kiss. "Bye baby." You kiss her back. Once she's left you look back at the work. "Right, let's go." You say packing it up and heading to your dorm.

"Hey." Angie says coming in. "I made some food it's out there if you want it." You nod, focusing on all the papers on your bed. "Whats all this?" You look at her. "Just some work I needa catch up on." She looks at it, then you. "Ok, well please eat." "Uhuh." You didn't take your eyes off of the sheets of paper, scribbling a few words on it. She let out a sigh which you hadn't even heard her do. She leaves soon after, closing the door.

8:01

-Hey sweetheart, just checking in. Making sure everything's ok. :)

You had been so engrossed that you hadn't even felt your phone go off, let alone hear the damn thing.

8:37

-hey sorry, yeah everything's going fine.

-want that company?

-you know, yeah. I'd love that, that sounds nice.

-be there soon. <3

You stop for a moment letting out a breath, you were looking through everything when your face drops, realizing you had completely missed a whole section. "Fuck." You curse going to grab it. There was absolutely no way you were finishing this on time now, you hadn't even seen it how are you going to put this in all of a sudden. "God damn it." "Everything alright?" You jump at the sound of Ellies voice. She holds a hand out. "Woah- didn't mean to startle you it's just me." You shake your head. "Sorry- just a bit jumpy I didn't expect you yet." You reply. She looks at your bed. "This is alot of work." You sigh, trying your hardest to stay positive. You turn your focus on her. "You brought your sketch book." She smiles going to sit in your desk chair. "Sure did, needed to do some doodling." You nod at her, going to continue to figure out what to do with this crap. "What's all this even for?" She asks. "English. Kinda stupid but oh well." Her brows furrow. "You love English tho." "Mmm, I do. But not when it's like this.." you sigh again. "You alright tho?" You nod at her question, flashing a smile. "Yeah, I'm good." She smiles at your own, going to start to draw.

The next night was harder, the whole day was. Trying to find spare time to get more done. It was nearly impossible. Your stress was increasing, making your anxiety appear. You were tearing your hair out in your bedroom. "Hey, have you eaten today?" You hear Angela's faint voice. "Mhmm." You lie. She huffs. "Im worried about you." Your eyes never leave your page. "Well I'm all good in the hood." You slightly joke around by saying that silly saying. "I'm serious Y/n. You hardly have a break from that." That went straight over your head not even hearing what she's saying. She sighs going to close the door again.

-can you please come over.

-why what's up?

-she's freaking me the fuck out, she's not eating I don't even think shes fucking slept, I notice shes been acting incredibly off and it's very worrying.

-slow down, why do you think all this?

-the food from last night was still sitting out this morning. She said she'd eat it and she hasn't. Her eyes are so bloodshot I could see from the millisecond she looked at me. Her bags were prominent too.

-oh Jesus.

-please come over here, I think she really needs you right now.

-I'll be over right away.

Your breath was shakey as you talk to yourself about what you had to do. Your room was a complete and utter mess. Paper, pens, folders. Everywhere. You were so engrossed by it you hadn't even heard your door open. "Y/n?" You heard, you turn your attention to the voice. "Hm?" She saw. Ellie saw what Angela was talking about. "Angie said you haven't eaten." You wave her off. "Can't." She was confused. "And why not?" You pull your lip down to the unsurprising ulcer that had formed. You let your lip rest back, getting back to your studying. "Well I'm going to go reheat the food I'll be right back." You give her another hum, not focusing on a word that came out her mouth. When all of a sudden, the stress was just gone. Your face sits still. Uh oh. That stress had now been replaced with anxiety. Shit. You couldn't let her see you like that. You had to stay calm. But once a panic attack occurred. There was no stopping it. Your breathing became more heavier, taking in breaths to hopefully get that heavy feeling that was on your chest away. No use. It only made things worse, making you freak out again. You felt like you couldn't breath, grabbing onto your sheets feeling tears start to come. Your entire body shaking from the arising panic attack, but also from the lack of sleep. It was going to catch up eventually. It just had to be now. "It might be a bit too hot so just-" Ellie begun. But immediately put the bowl down on your nightstand.

Her movements were speedy coming to crouch down infront of you. She watched you cry your heart out, breathing as if there wasn't air. "Hey hey hey hey, look at me baby." You shake your head, never wanting her to see this. "Please." Her gentle touch makes you reluctantly do so, still letting out streams of tears, shaking uncontrollably. "Shhh." She softly let's out, rubbing your knee. "I-i can't. I can't breathe-" She stands up gently grabbing your hand and putting it to her chest. "Yes you can, youre ok I swear to you. See?" You look at her then your hand, still freaking out slightly, you can feel a ramble about to approach. "This stupid work- Its- suppose to b-be done by tomorrow and I'm nowhere near done. I can't fuck this up because I had been slacking because of everything- and then I messed up on this last night, I h-have absolutely no time during the day because of other classes everything's so messy and I don't know what to do." You sob more. Her heart shatters at your unsteady voice and sobs. She wants to hug you but also doesn't want to overwhelm you even more. "Slow down yeah, once you take a small breath you'll be ok, trust me?" She squeezes your hand reassuringly, letting you know she's right there. "Youre safe. You're going to be just fine. I'm right here." Her voice was so delicate, you let your mind listen to it feeling the sobs begin to slow. "That's it there you go. Can I give you a hug sweet girl?"

You nod at her kindness, wrapping your arms around her torso and resting your head on her chest. She softly kisses your head hugging you tightly. Your grip also tightens not wanting to let go. "Can we stay like this?" You mumbled into her hoodie. "As long as you need angel." Your eyes close, listening to her steady heartbeat. Feeling that tiredness take over. "Can you try eat a small bit before you get some well needed rest, please?" You nod sheepishly, pulling back but still keeping close to her. "Can you stay with me tonight.." Your voice was unsteady but you honestly didn't care you were more than comfortable with her seeing you like this, you thought you wouldn't be, infact you worried about it for nothing. Maybe that's the same for alot of silly things you stress over. "I still dunno what I'm going to do about this stupid work." Your head lowers, looking at your hands in your lap. She thinks for a bit. "Leave it to me ok?" Your eyes move to look at her. "No no, it's ok-" "Please baby. Let me help you." Her hands gently grab your cheeks, and you just give her a nod. "Good, let's get you to eat then some rest hm?"

It was probably a few months that had gone by, you and Ellie were stronger than ever. Doing so well. You were currently over at hers, her roommate being out, you two were just hanging about in her bed. Laughing, smiling, talking. It was a lovely way to spend your evening together. When she turns to you. "Hey pretty girl." She smirks slightly, glancing ar your lips. "Hello." You reply cheerful. You notice her eyes, wanting to kiss her, leaning in to do so. Her hands sneak to the small of your back as the kiss was slow but heated, with intense passion. "Have you." Kiss "Ever thought." Kiss .. kiss - it slowly moves to your jaw. "About sex." And your eyes go ghost. Your mind runs, your heart pounds. Because no you haven't and there's a divine reason why. "I know I have."

"Don't move you little bitch."

You swallow. "I uhm- I dunno exactly." You could tell Ellie was in the mood, and her kisses were so nice-

"Absolutely pathetic, and you're letting this happen."

You blink furiously. "You make me so happy." The kisses continue, and you freeze. Just like all those years ago. "Youre so pretty baby." Your heart rate picks up again. Your anxiety peeking. "E-ellie.." You wanted to try to tell her. Considering you haven't mentioned it yet. "Mmm?" Her kisses move down to you neck, everything was soft but..

"Dumb. Fucking. Cunt."

You could feel slight tears. "Is this ok?" She asks. And when you don't respond she asks again. "Baby?" Then suddenly she feels something wet hit her nose. "My love?" She looks up this time, seeing the small tears. "Hey, hey." Her voice was velvet, making more tears fall. If anything you weren't as scared to do sex all over again, you felt so incredibly safe with her, and remembering all those flashbacks just proved how new all this was. It felt foreign. "Talk to me pretty." She goes to softly stroke your hair. "Was it something I said?" You just shake your head wrapping your hands around her wrist gently. "You're perfect." A silence. "Then why are you crying sweetheart." Her voice was as tender as her touch and you knew you were in love with this woman. "Because you're perfect." She smiles brightly. "Years ago, I was with this girl. We were together for 2 years when near the end she got incredibly toxic with me. And she well in some words-" You didn't even need to finish your sentence, Ellie knew and immediately hugged you. You returned it tightly, like you always did. That silence came back and it was incredibly comforting. "I love you." You hear her voice whisper in your ear. Pulling back to look at her a little surprised. "You don't have to say it b-" But you cut her off bringing her in for a kiss again. "Yes." That confused her. "I've thought about it with you and yes." Then the smiles return, and so do the heated kisses.

After a short while she moved to be more ontop of you but stops briefly. You look at her, she looks way too good right now. "Can I eat you out angel." Her face was close to yours but the way she asked only turned you on more, the fact she's such an angel with this all is an even bigger turn on for you. "Please do." You breathe. Feeling her slowly take off your shirt, she looks at your breasts admiringly. "You're flawless." You felt heat rise to your cheeks, but not because you were anxious or anything, because your whole body felt like it was heating up, all because of how loving she was. She moves her lips to kiss one slowly turning into a gentle suck, around the skin and on your hardened bud. You breathe out, but even that sounded pretty to Ellie. Making her close her eyes at everything right now. She couldn't get enough of you. "You're so beautiful, so incredibly pretty." She blabs on. Her kisses move down your stomach. Keeping with her tender like touch. She slowly but surely pulls your pajama pants down along with your underwear. She takes a moment to take this all in. "Want to take my time yeah? Promise it's not in a teasing way. You truly don't deserve that especially not right now. Just want to savor hm?" You nod, biting your lip ever so slightly.

"You sure it's ok mama?" She rubs circles on the fat of your thigh. You give her a nod but she shakes her head. "Wanna hear you verbally say it, please?" Your smile grew. "Yes Ellie I promise its ok, please do it." Your soft voice made her smile grow. "Angel girl.." She began, gently stroking your clit. Your breath hitches at the feeling. "Need to make you feel good, gotta." Her mouth slowly comes down to you, licking softly. Delicately. That then turns into sucking and she did not disappoint. She in fact was making you feel good. Amazing even. She keeps the pace, eventually looking up at you and the way you'd react to everything. When you felt her tongue go in you, you lost it entirely. Your mouth hung open with so much pleasure everything felt so natural. It always did. "Mmm, knew you'd be as sweet tasting.. such a perfect girl." You let a moan slip. "E-ellie i-" "Mhmm, feel you clenching on my tongue. I got you baby. I got you." This woman didn't make you last long at all but in hindsight. You were not at all complaining. Because as you began to cum, you feel the most incredible orgasm approaching. You felt content, safe. Secure. "Thereee you go Angel. Atta girl." She mumbles letting you ride out your high on her tongue. "Mmm Ellie please I need you so bad." She licks her lips coming up to your face. "Yeah love?" You nod. She goes to take off her clothes, going to get back ontop of you.

But she stops again. "Why don't we try this." She goes to lay down on her back getting you to straddle her. "You be in control okay? I'm right here to help. Just want to make sure this is perfect for you. All I want." You look at her lips, leaning down to kiss them. Her hands tangle in your hair, giving you a tender scalp massage as the two of you kiss. You situate so your pussys directly on hers, not moving just yet, going to sit up a bit. You begin to move shortly after. Watching as you both open your mouths. Her soft grunt made your stomach do flips. "You're so perfect Els.." Your breath became uneven, in the best way possible. She looks down at the two of you then back at your face, your features. "God your ethereal." Another moan escapes you as you speed up. "Good girl, doing so good." The praise went straight to your core helping egg your orgasm on. "C-Can we cum together, please?" Her heart fluttered at your words. "Ofcourse my angel. Wouldn't want anything more than to do so." Your pace picked up again, letting more moans slip from your pink lips. "So well, so incredibly good. Fuck." You knew she was getting close you could just tell. And so were you. Her hands rest on your thighs, squeezing the flesh. "Ready mama?" You nod with her, cumming with moans. Grunts. Of eachothers names even. As you rode out your high making sure Ellies was met too, your body became weak. Flopping onto her torso. "I love you, Ellie." You say back from about 30 minutes ago. Her smile was like it was tattooed onto her face. "You truly have changed me, Y/n.. and for the better." You close your eyes. Feeling yourself drift of to sleep. She kisses your head, stroking your hair gently. "Wanna marry you some day even.."

:))

[kurishiri]

9.5 . . . “ a convenient relationship ”

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— 💋 his side story, chapter 9. this is one you can purchase on your second play through of his route.

— cw: some suggestiveness, could be considered dub-con.

Kate: So, the reason why you do what you do for the people in the slums...

K: ...is it because you understand their pain, and suffering?

Alfons: If it is as you say, that I am doing it for them, then perhaps such is the case.

——In the East End, I show a happy illusion to the bunch crawling their way through this dark reality.

It was something I had continuously done since a young age, so when it came to things such as the reason why I did it or what meaning it held,

to be honest, I couldn’t care less about that.

It was a hobby I had continued out of habit. A source of amusing entertainment. That was all it amounted to.

Kate: ...This is far from the first time you’ve dodged my question.

Perhaps Kate couldn’t accept my response for what it was, because she turned away, pouting.

(...The way she sulks does so resemble that of a child.)

Her profile looked so sweet and darling, the corners of my lips relaxed, unbeknownst to myself.

It felt like I just wanted to leave things the way they were, and keep looking on at it...

Or perhaps, it was a tickling desire to tease her and wanting to boop her...

Alfons: Hehe, you needn’t pucker your lips so.

Kate: ...?

In the end, the latter feelings overtook me, so I booped my fingertips on her lips, causing her to turn her eyes my way.

Alfons: For you see, your words ring so dear to me I just may not be able to resist the urge to give you a kiss here.

Kate: ...!

Her eyes looked into mine, as if she was glaring,

before she looked down, looking hesitantly around my lips.

(...It truly is a walk in the park figuring out what the little robin is thinking.)

(I can’t even be annoyed anymore. At this point I’m even a tad worried for her.)

Alfons: ...Would you like me to do it? Kiss you, I mean.

Kate: Wh—!? N-no, not at all...

Alfons: Why so worked up now? If you want to do it, it’s fine to just say that as is, am I right?

Kate: Well, I don’t want it.

Alfons: Yes, yes, I hear you. So? Were you able to find my weaknesses?

Kate: ...

The conversation ended there, and Kate’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, seemingly dissatisfied.

And as though to hide any shame, she cleared her throat before suddenly turning away again.

(Hehe... ahh, she’s just so cute.)

(Getting played so easily like a toy, what a poor soul you are, Miss Kate.)

Kate: ...No, I couldn’t find any. I mean, you answered my questions just like that, without any hesitation.

K: So, I take it that you having been an orphan and the fact you use your abilities in the slums couldn’t amount to something like a weakness?

Alfons: Is that so? I wonder about that.

A: You see, aside from Elbie and Roger, I also am not sure who else knows of my true origins.

Kate: Huh!?

K: Are you saying not even Victor and William know...?

Alfons: Well, I suppose those two would be in the know.

A: Oh, while we’re at it, I reckon Jude may have somehow gotten wind of it too. Other than those three, though, who is in the know is beyond me.

A: And if I were to tell any social circle about it, forget about nonexistent trust, even that would crumble away, no?

Kate: ...Then is that to say the people in that pub, and the people whom you refer to as your ‘friends’ are also in the know?

Alfons: Ahha! Hardly. I don’t reveal more than absolutely necessary. And that goes both ways as well.

A: Things like reality only interfere with convenience.

(...Oh?)

Come to think of it, why did I reveal my background so honestly to her like that?

Kate: ...If so,

K: why did you tell me all this then?

She voiced the question that popped into my mind.

Alfons: Hmm... I wonder, now why did I.........?

(If I understood the ways of my own heart, giving an immediate answer to the question of ‘why’ would be a simple feat, but alas.)

What was thought to be there was nowhere to be seen, and conversely, what was thought to be nowhere was, in actuality, there.

And to me——I had little energy to look deeply into the thing called my heart.

After all, I was well aware that there would’ve been nothing good in there.

Alfons: ...That is a great question. One whose answer I know as well as you.

(There’s no need to give Kate the truth,)

(and thinking about it will yield nothing in return.)

Alfons: If I had to guess, though, perhaps it’s because you nearly moved me to tears, having followed me all the way out to such a place, I felt like telling you?

So I gave whatever answer I thought of before turning to the window, where the silhouette of London at night flew by, vaguely melted into the darkness.

All of a sudden, Kate, who had just been quiet, sucked in a breath.

Kate: I’ve decided to stop trying to look for your weakness on the sly.

Alfons: ...Come again now?

I turned my gaze next to me, where she was looking at me, with her usual straightforward eyes.

Kate: Because more than your weaknesses, I’m interested to know more about your true feelings.

K: I was thinking... I would like to get to know you better.

(.........) (O_O)

Kate: That’s why, I think if it meant I could know more about you...

K: I... wouldn’t mind becoming your ‘exclusive fairytale keeper.’

Alfons: ...Well, I’ll be.

(Perhaps, the reason I opened up about my background——)

(Was it because she was able to say such foreign-sounding words like ‘I will face you to the fullest’ and whatnot to my face?)

(Maybe it’s because I was hit with such foolish honesty.)

Kate’s expression seemed bright, and seeing that, my body seemed to tickle a smile out of me from the inside.

(How pitiful you are, Miss Kate.)

(Though it pains me to say, I don’t have an ounce of intention of reciprocating the sentiment.)

(But, if this means your mind will be filled to the brim with thoughts of me... then it’s all the more convenient for me.)

(By all means, may you dance atop the palm of my hand to the best of your ability.)

Alfons: If that’s the case, would it be safe to say that you would accept me doing these kinds of things with you?

Kate: ? What do you mean, ‘these kinds of thi’——

I closed the distance between us, my face approaching her, and Kate’s shoulders shook, understanding my intentions,

Kate: No, that’s... this and that are different.

Her face completely red, she pushed her palm on my mouth.

Alfons: ...Hehe.

(As always, you’re awfully inept at resisting, aren’t you.)

Kate: Eek...!?

I licked her palm, and with a cute cry, my mouth was free from her hands.

Alfons: Was it not the case that you were hoping to grasp my weaknesses because you were unable to avoid things like this, or am I wrong?

Kate: I-I mean, I would be able to prevent it as long as you didn’t touch the back of my neck.

Alfons: So you say, but I do find it doubtful you were able to avoid what I did now?

I placed my hand next to her legs across from myself.

I leaned forward, staring at her from a point-blank distance.

Alfons: Oh, yes, come to think of it, when we did naughty things at the back of the pub, I hadn’t used any of my abilities.

A: And yet as far as I recall, you still became loose and wet here, no?

Kate: T-that... I’m pretty sure it was all your fault.

Alfons: And why is that?

Kate: Because you frequent such strange places... it’s all on you.

(Aha, as it should.)

Alfons: Then, in this case, whose fault is it?

Kate: ——mn...!

I grasped at her defenseless wrists and stole her lips.

Kate: Mngh... mn——

I pulled her toward me, and Kate, whose eyes were wide open, closed tightly.

Kate: ah... ngh...!

My tongue through the gap of her lips intertwined with hers,

and her arms went limp, her body relaxing.

When I licked her upper jaw, a cute noise came out from her nose.

Alfons: Perhaps the fault lies with the shock of having seen something so strange, or perhaps it’s because of the shaking of the carriage...

A: If you wish for these kinds of explanations, I could give you these all day.

A: And if you so dislike the idea that you will lose your dignity if you don’t resist,

A: then I will not mind at all if you aaalways feign resistance.

As if ashamed of the anticipation, she closed her legs as I stroked her thighs,

and I slowly lifted up the hem of her skirt that was over her trembling knees.

Kate: Hah... ah, ngh... no...

(Even though your entire body is practically saying ‘I feel good’?)

Alfons: Since this relationship will end after only a month... let us enjoy ourselves, Miss Kate.

A: After all——you do so love pleasurable things like this, do you not?

Kate: N-no, I... I don’t...

Her breaths were short and restless as she tried her hardest to deny it. Such a sight held its own charm.

(Indeed——you don’t, yes?)

(After all, the reason you became this way in the first place was aaall because of me.)

(That’s all it has to be.)

Kate: ah... n-no, we can’t do this... not in a carriage...

Alfons: ...Then, where can we do this?

Kate: Ah——

Alfons: Your bed, perhaps? That said... I do find myself wondering if you will be able to hold yourself back until then?

Kate: ah... I-I...

Her lips half-open, I gently kissed her, sealing away any excuses.

Alfons: Shh... there is no need to give me a clear-cut answer.

A: When all is over and done with, you can simply blame it all on me. Then you won’t have to worry, yes?

(What is true, and what is not... let’s become so good that such things become trivial.)

I wouldn’t step too far. And I wouldn’t let anyone step too far either.

It was a convenient relationship just to give ourselves over to pleasure.

(That is all it needs to be between us.)

For some reason, the sight of her pouting profile popped up in the back of my mind, before fading away.

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