#enjoy it while it lasts because i’ll probably forget how to do it the next time i draw

[beckybarnes]

Madoka fanart because I plan to rewatch it either later today or sometime tomorrow

[katsu28]

first time for everything

pairing: oscar piastri x reader

summary: a lot of things were in the cards for oscar’s first home race. he just wasn’t expecting confessing his love for you to be one of them. (3.3k)

warnings: maybe a swear word idk

a/n: my first oscar fic! not sure if i've got his personality down quite yet but hopefully i've done him justice :)

“You’re nervous.” 

Oscar tore his attention from his phone camera, where he was messing with the swoop of his hair for what had to be the fifth time. He shook his head, though you could probably see right through him. “No, I’m not—I just didn’t sleep that well last night.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you were nervous for today.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“It’s okay to be nervous, Oscar. I’d be more worried if you weren’t.”

You were right, he was nervous about a lot of things—this weekend was his first home race, the first race you were able to attend during his time as a driver for McLaren. But the first thing he learned from competing at this level was to never let his nerves show. Put up a front, make it seem like he was cool as a cucumber so people wouldn’t doubt him, let his skills on the track do all the talking. 

Normally, Oscar was good about that. But you could see right through him. You knew him well enough to know how he was feeling and how to help, even if he himself didn’t quite understand it. 

The story of you and Oscar was quite the cliche, really. He knew of you through a friend of a friend and was instantly intrigued without even meeting you, managed to reach out, and the rest was history. 

You hadn’t even met each other face to face until a month into your constant texting, but when you did finally find the opportunity to meet up in person, it was like you’d both found the other half of yourselves in each other. While Oscar was more of a straight to the point, cut and dry kind of guy, you managed to bring him out of his shell a little bit, to get him to expand his horizons (within reason, of course). 

You were the opposite—always smiling, always happy to try new things, warm and sunshine-y and everything in between. Oscar toned you down without holding you back, reminded you to take a breather before immediately jumping into the next exciting thing, to enjoy what you had while you had it so you wouldn’t miss anything. 

He’d only just gained the courage to ask you out a few months back, but it only seemed fitting that you were here with him for his first race in front of his home crowd.

“It’s a lot to process.” Oscar admitted, letting his shoulders creep up towards his ears in a shrug. You leaned against him, looping an arm through the crook of his elbow and slipping your hand into his for a reassuring squeeze, pressing your chin against his bicep. “I just don’t wanna let anyone down, y’know? Wanna make everyone proud.” 

“You’re going to do great. I promise.” You said firmly, reaching up to push his hair into its perfect place. Oscar nuzzled into your touch on instinct, letting you cradle his cheek in the palm of your hand. Your thumb swept over his cheek a few times, lulling him into a sense of contentment. 

“Forget me. How are you feeling?”

“I’m excited! I’ve never done something like this before.” You replied, letting your hand drop. “And kinda nervous, but it’ll be fine, right?” 

“Yeah, ‘course it will.” 

“Have any sage words of wisdom for a first time paddock goer?” 

“Oh, you know me. Keep your head down, walk fast. There’s gonna be a lot of cameras, lots of fans, they’re all gonna want something from you. I’ll be with you as long as I can, so I’ll be there in case things start to get out of hand.” 

“Can I say hi to the fans?” 

“If you want to, yeah. They already love you.” 

That was another thing Oscar had to be worried about. Today was a day full of firsts, it felt like, because it was also the first time you’d be making your public debut as a couple. You’d already become a fan favorite when the two of you were just friends (two very mutually pining friends, no less), but making your relationship paddock official seemed daunting. 

Oscar wasn’t at all worried about what people would think. In fact, he didn’t really care. He was happier than he’d been in a long time and nothing would change that. What he was worried about was how you’d be treated. Oscar loved the fans, he really did, but there were always that handful who thought they knew him—knew what was best for him. Knew who was best for him. 

If he could protect you from any harm that could possibly be aimed your way, he’d do it in a heartbeat, but things could get so very unpredictable out there. The best he could do was keep you close. 

Your grip on Oscar’s hand tightened just the slightest bit at seeing the sheer amount of people outside the window. Noticing this, he rubbed his thumb along your knuckles soothingly. 

“You don’t have to come along.” He said softly. You tore your eyes away from the passing crowds to look at him. “There’s a back entrance, you can go through there.” 

“No, it’s alright! I’ll be fine.” 

“You sure? It’s okay if you're having second thoughts, sweetheart.” 

“I’m not, I promise. It’s kind of a lot, but nothing I can’t handle.” You said firmly, more for yourself than anything. Oscar squeezed your hand with a soft smile. “If you can do it, I can do it.” 

“There you go. You’ll be the star of the show. Everyone’ll be like Oscar Piastri who? There’s the most beautiful girl in the world, and just some guy.” 

You had to bite back a laugh at his words paired with the deadpan expression gracing his face. Oscar always seemed to know how to get you to relax. 

“Well, you’re the hottest just some guy I’ve ever seen.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling at how his fair skin immediately flamed hot under your lips. 

Despite your previous hesitation, you looked entirely in your element as you made the walk hand in hand, looking around with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. Oscar couldn't help but watch you take it all in, not bothering to mask the awe in his eyes as he did so. He wouldn’t be surprised if photos of him looking at you made it to fan Twitter by the end of the day. 

Oscar was whisked away as soon as you got through to hospitality, giving him barely enough time to say goodbye to you before he was shuttled to meeting after meeting, press conferences and pre race interviews, a thousand things to do in the few hours he had before he had to get ready for free practice. 

He was already exhausted by the time he made it back to his driver’s room, pushing open the door with a heaving sigh. You glanced up at the commotion he was making, smiling at him warmly and setting aside your phone.

“Hey, you,” You hummed, holding out your arms towards Oscar as soon as he closed the door behind him. 

“Hi.” Oscar sighed, folding you into his embrace as comfortably as he could in the cramped alcove. There was barely enough room for one person on the bench, let alone you and your boyfriend with his broad shoulders. You shifted sideways to solve the problem, throwing your legs over Oscar’s lap, to which his hand immediately came to rest on your knee. “I missed you.” 

“Wish I could say the feeling was mutual.” You teased. Oscar rolled his eyes goodnaturedly, giving your leg a gentle pinch that you giggled at before leaning in to press a quick peck to his cheek. “I missed you too.” 

“What did you get up to while I was gone?” 

“Oh, so much! I took a walk around the paddock just to check everything out, and I kinda got lost, but someone helped me find my way back eventually.” You shrugged, not noticing the way Oscar’s eyebrows flew up into his hairline. 

“Wait, you got lost? Why didn’t you call me?” 

“You were busy.” You said, very as-a-matter-of-factly. He blinked at you slowly, a blank expression present on his face. “I’m a big girl, Osc, I can find my way around just fine.”  

That made Oscar falter. You were right. He cared so much, especially about you—so much so that sometimes he forgot you were entirely capable of taking care of yourself. 

“A lot of people asked to take pictures with me. Me! Isn’t that crazy?” You exclaimed, beaming bright. “I promised one of them your sweaty fireproofs in return, but that’s beside the point.” 

“You what?” He spluttered, eyes widening almost comically. His fingers froze in their fiddling with the rings adorning your fingers. 

“I’m kidding, obviously. Lighten up, Oscie, jeez.” 

Oscar rolled his eyes playfully. “Right, well I’m glad you’re having fun.” 

“You know what would make this day even more fun?” 

“I don’t think I want to.” 

You stuck your tongue out at him before continuing. “Can I meet Charles Leclerc? Is that something you can pull off?” 

Technically speaking, it would be extremely easy for him to pull off. All he really had to do was bring you over to the Ferrari motorhome for a quick introduction, and he was sure Charles would take a liking to you, just like every other driver you’d gotten to meet so far. You had that kind of persona; one that made people want to get to know you. 

Oscar quite liked that about you. What he wouldn’t like as much was you being immediately wooed by the driver’s seemingly irresistible French charm. And yeah, you were Oscar’s girlfriend and Charles also had a girlfriend of his own, but still. Nobody wanted to see the girl they loved fawning over another man, even one as cool as Charles Leclerc.

But Oscar would never tell you that, because he loved you, and he’d do anything to make you happy. 

“Uh…yeah, sure. I could probably get you an intro, if that’s something you really want.” He heard himself saying, scratching the back of his neck. His heart thudded a little harder in his chest at the way your face lit up. 

“Really?” 

Oscar smiled tightly. “Why not? D’you wanna go now? There’s some time before we need to be on track.” 

“That would be amazing, Osc.” 

“Right then, let’s go.” He nudged your legs off him, heaving himself to his feet with a groan that would usually be associated with someone much older than him. You threaded your fingers through his as soon as he finished popping all his joints like an old man, following his lead out of the room and the motorhome, all the way to the bright Ferrari red building a few doors down. 

Luckily, Charles was sitting at one of the tables in the main area, so you didn’t have to look far to find him. 

“Charles, mate, you got a second?” 

The aforementioned Monegasque tore his attention from his phone upon hearing Oscar’s voice, an easygoing smile already present on his face. “Oscar! What can I do for you, mate?” His eyes found you next, and he nodded politely. “Hello!” 

“Hi.” You said quietly, clinging to Oscar’s hand tightly. This feeling was foreign to you. You’d never been so stunned into silence by someone before, but maybe that was because you’d never met someone as well known as the Charles Leclerc. 

“This is my girlfriend. It’s her first time in the paddock and she’s a big fan of yours, figured I could introduce the two of you. Y/N, Charles. Charles, Y/N.” 

“Ah, yes, I’ve heard much about you!” Charles exclaimed, popping to his feet. He moved forward to embrace you, wrapping you in a warm hug like he’d known you for a long time, let alone just met you not even fifteen seconds ago. 

Oscar never really understood the whole hugging thing Charles had going on. Maybe it was a French thing. Either way, the hug seemed to have shaken you out of whatever starstruck daze you were in, because you straightened up. 

Charles smiled warmly. “Welcome to your first race. I trust they are treating you well over at McLaren?” 

“There’s definitely a few perks.” You replied, returning his infectious smile. You squeezed Oscar’s hand as you said it, and part of him felt a smidge proud that you considered him a perk. Charles laughed goodnaturedly. “I hate to sound so forward, but I wanted to say I love your music. The way you play piano is…the only way I can think to describe it is beautiful.” 

“Oh wow, you—thank you! That means a lot, thank you. Do you play?” 

“A little bit, but I haven’t had much time to sit at the bench lately.” You replied, giving a haphazard shrug. Charles nodded sympathetically, like he understood the troubles of carving out time to play. “D’you mind if I ask you a bit more about your inspiration while I’ve got you?”

“Of course, yes, yes, I would love to talk about it!” 

Oscar touched a hand to the small of your back to snag your attention for a second. He liked music as much as the next person, but not as much as you and Charles, it seemed. “I’ll be over there.” 

You nodded, popping up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek before returning to your animated conversation with Charles. 

Now, Oscar wasn’t a jealous guy by any means. On the contrary he was always quite calm and collected, so he thought he’d be fine. Secretly a little miffed, sure. It was nothing he couldn’t handle, but actually seeing you go starry eyed while talking to Charles sparked something inside him. He didn’t know how hard he was squeezing the can in his hand until he felt liquid trickling down the sleeve of his fireproofs. 

“Ah, shit.” He muttered, shaking out his arm frustratedly. 

“Stare at her any harder and she might burst into flames, mate.” 

Oscar glanced to his left to see Lando standing there, arms crossed over his chest, expectant brow arched. 

“Dunno know what you’re talking about.” Oscar grumbled, moving to toss the now crumpled can into the nearest rubbish bin. Lando looked wildly unconvinced. “What?” 

“Don’t feed me that shit, Oscar, you’re way too easy to read for me to believe you’re not absolutely fucking in love with Y/N.” 

Oscar made an offended noise from the back of his throat. “I am not easy to read.” 

“Mate, you’re the openest book in the history of open books right now.” 

“Openest isn’t a word.” 

“Whatever! Stop deflecting.” Lando scoffed, wrinkling his nose. “You love her. Tell her that.” 

“I can’t. I mean, I shouldn’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“What if it’s too soon? What if she doesn’t feel the same way yet?” 

“You’re kidding, right? Please tell me you’re kidding.” Lando groaned, letting his head tilt back in exasperation. Oscar squinted at him, unamused. “Oh, you’re serious? Mate, come on. Just today, in the half a day I’ve known her, I’ve seen the way she looks at you when you’re not looking. I see the way you look at her when she’s not looking. It’s obvious. You’re both obnoxiously in love with each other, and it’s sickening.” 

The corners of Oscar’s mouth lifted into a grin. “Really?” 

“Oh my god, yes, really. I mean honestly, how dense can you be?” 

“A lot, it seems.” Oscar cast another glance at you, feeling a lot better than he had a few minutes ago. You were laughing at something Charles had said, but now all that was running through his mind was how pretty you looked when you laughed. How happy you looked talking to a person you held a lot of admiration for. Professional admiration, nothing more. 

Part of him felt a little guilty. He should’ve been supportive the whole time, not sulking around being a jealous little prick thinking you would ever choose Charles over him. 

“No point in overthinking it now, bro.” 

“Since when did you become such a wise old man?” 

“Oi, watch it, you muppet. I’m only two years older than you.” Lando huffed, rolling his eyes. “And I’ve always been wise, thank you for noticing.” 

“Sure you have.” 

“Tell her.” 

Oscar nodded once, accepting the clap on the shoulder Lando gave him. “I will. Thank you.” 

“Of course. And if you ever need any more advice, come on down to Lando’s love shack, where you can get—” 

“Leave now, I’m begging you.” Lando took the hint, wandering away to go wreak havoc somewhere else, leaving Oscar alone with his own thoughts as he waited for you to finish up. It wasn’t long until you were making your way back over, practically aglow with excitement as you approached him. “Made a new best friend, have you?” 

You snorted, clearly amused. “Oh, of course. We’ve already arranged to go on a double date when we’re all in Monaco at the same time.” 

“Ha ha, very funny. You do know Ferrari’s one of our top competitors, right?” Oscar laced his fingers through yours once more, letting your joined hands swing between the two of you as you walked. 

“You know what they say—keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Consider my blossoming friendship with Charles your way into the heart and soul of Ferrari’s strategies. You’re welcome.” 

You were just joking, of course, and it made Oscar smile. Lando was right. Oscar was in love with you. He tugged you off the main path suddenly, leading you to a more secluded area between motorhomes. 

“Osc? What’re you—” You were entirely cut off by him stopping in his tracks, and before you could comprehend what was happening, he was kissing you. He curled a hand around the back of your neck, the other coming up to cup your cheek gently. 

It was by all means a sweet kiss, but a completely unexpected one nonetheless. Oscar had never been a public display of affection sort of guy before, so for him to kiss you out of the blue where anyone could see you…well, let's just say there was a first time for everything.

To say you were taken aback was an understatement. You let out a noise of surprise, but returned his kiss wholeheartedly as soon as you realized what was happening. 

“That was new.” You breathed as soon as he pulled away, splaying your palms across the firm plane of his chest to steady yourself after he’d kissed the living daylights out of you. Oscar’s eyes fluttered open slowly, a dazed grin stretching his lips. “You feeling alright, babe?” 

“I love you.” 

Immediately, you beamed, lighting up faster than a bonfire on a warm Melbourne night. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well, it’s about damn time you said it.” You poked his chest playfully, stifling a giggle at the way he did the biggest double take ever at your words. 

“You—hang on, what?” 

“I was waiting for you to be the one to say it first.” You shrugged. Oscar’s brow scrunched in confusion now. “Didn’t wanna scare you off and lose one of the best things in my life.” 

“So…you do feel the same way?” 

You reached up, smoothing a stray curl away from his forehead fondly. “Do I love you? ‘Course I do. I think I’ve loved you since the first time we met.” 

“That was a good one, I should’ve said that. You’re so much better at this than I am.” 

“What can I say? I’ve got the best just some guy as my inspiration.” 

“I see what you did there. That’s gonna become a thing now, isn’t it?” 

“Oh, Osc,” You sighed, patting his cheek affectionately. “It already has.” 

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[kaidabakugou]

y’all already know i need to make it you guy’s problem as well when i’m sick so here you go :)

i love the idea of eijirou threatening you with telling on you to katsuki when you want to ignore your health

just imagine being sick or on the early stages of catching a cold when your nose is congested and you’re sneezing here and there but you have places to be and things to do so you just take some medicine and make your way downstairs to the kitchen where eijirou is making a quick to-go breakfast for you

but once he hears your groggy voice, heavier than your usual morning voice when you have to be out of the house this early, he’s immediately reaching for you and drowning you in questions to figure out what’s wrong

his lips getting all pouty and concern written all over his face when you shrug him off and tell him you’re fine

“morning beautiful”, he chirps as soon as he hears you walk into the kitchen behind him, while he continues to flip and press down on the the grilled cheese on the stove

“morning”, you answer back softly, congestion evident on your voice

“hey what’s wrong?!”, turning to you as he quickly wipes off his hands on a kitchen towel before reaching for you, gently pressing the back of his hands to the sides of your neck and on your forehead to check for a fever

“it’s nothing, just a little congested that’s all”, you say as you reach up to wrap your hands around his wrists while he stares down at you worriedly, feeling the warmth radiating from your palms around him, not boiling hot but warm enough to hint you’re starting to get a fever

“you can’t go out like this”, he finally says after staring you down for a bit

“i have to, i have reports from our last mission that need to get done quickly”, you argue as you make your way around him to grab your lunch bag

“what are you gonna do when kats sees you then?”, he says, eyebrows raised as he crosses his arms against his chest while leaning against the kitchen island

“he won’t, he’ll be out on patrol all day and i clock out before him today so by the time he returns i’ll be gone”

“not if he finds out before that”

“and who’s gonna tell him”, at this point, regardless of how bad you feel, your matching eijirou’s teasing smile as you both taunt back and forth

“listen i need to get to work, whatever you do is on you, okay?” you say as you grab the last of your lunch before giving him a kiss and heading for the door

“oookayy then, whatever you say but don’t say i didn’t warn ya”, he waves you off before going back to the grilled cheese on the stove, one that was made for you but he didn’t worry about it too much considering he waited until he heard your car leave the drive way to quickly reach for his phone and hit the call button, grin on his face since he knew you’d probably be back soon enough to be able to enjoy your breakfast

and he was right, because not even 30 minutes later he could hear your car pull up on the drive way and the sounds of your fuzzy voice accompanied by the angry blonde’s bursting through the front door with you over his shoulder

stomping his way up the stairs as you made eye contact with a laughing eijirou on the couch, flipping him off before you disappeared from his sight

returning a few moments later, this time in your pjs but still over katsuki’s shoulder as he made his way towards the couch to deposit you on eijirou’s lap

“watch her while i’m gone, and don’t let her out of your sight”, katsuki grumbles before sneaking a bite of the grilled cheese waiting for you on the table

“i won’t”, eijirou laughs as he wraps his arms around your center, laughing harder when you glare up at him

pouting at katsuki next when he leans down to give you a kiss

“yeah yeah, glare at me all you want shitty woman, it’s for your own good”

sighing before retuning his kiss, the taste of the grilled cheese on his lips making you forget how annoyed you were as you looked over to grab it, taking a bite out of it as katsuki gives a kiss to eijirou before heading for the door

both of you wishing him a good day before snuggling up to each other on the couch, rolling your eyes at eiji’s smug grin and ignoring the low ‘i told you so’ that followed against your ear

[achilles-rage]

Good Luck Charm: Chapter 2

college football player!buck x plus size!reader

summary: the next day in class, you come face to face with him again. while you don't want to keep running into him, circumstances soon mean that you'll have to spend more time together, much to his delight.

word count: 3.4k

previous chapter

series masterlist

A/N: y'all this chapter took me so long to write. it's more just filler so they don't immediately go from enemies (if i can even call it that) to lovers and i PROMISE things will get better in the next chapter because it kinda starts to go down a little hehe. enjoy<3

warnings: slightly enemies to lovers??? slowburn(ish)????, no use of y/n, fem!reader, race inclusive!reader

The next day, you walk into class, your day going a lot smoother than yesterday. You’re a few minutes early, so you take your time getting your stuff out of your bag before you start typing away on your laptop, trying to make yourself look busy.

You’ve almost forgotten about the man you met yesterday, opting not to tell your roommate. You know what she’d say. She’d make you tell her everything about him (and probably find his social medias despite not even knowing his name), and then tell you every single thing she would’ve done if she was in your situation. You’d rather just forget about it, not wanting him to take up any more of your energy.

“Excuse me.” you hear a deep voice say from beside you after a few minutes. You assume it’s someone trying to get by you to sit down in your aisle, so you quickly stand up to get out of his way. As you stand, you steal a glance at him, huffing as you see that it’s the man you ran into yesterday, and a deep frown finds its way onto your face. You sit back down once he’s past you, rolling your eyes when instead of moving down the aisle, he chooses to sit right beside you.

“You look gorgeous today, princess, despite the scowl on your face.” he teases, letting out a soft chuckle at how quickly your face fills with distaste.

“Why are you doing this?” you whisper-yell, turning your head to glare at him. Why does he want to continue with this? You walked away from him yesterday, you thought you were done with him.

“Doing what? I gave a pretty girl a compliment, what’s wrong with that?” he teases softly, a playful glint in his eye as he meets your gaze. Despite his tone, he’s dead serious. He thinks you’re gorgeous, and he’s going to keep talking to you until you believe it. He thought about you all day yesterday, and it’s a miracle you happened to have this class with him too.

“Why are you so interested in me all of a sudden?” you ask as your tense shoulders deflate slightly. You lean further back in your chair, eyes going to the front of the room as the professor walks in. You’re really not feeling argumentative today, so your voice comes out less cold than he’s used to in hopes of your lack of a fight deterring him.

“Because I like a girl with an attitude.” he teases softly, not missing the way your voice is changing as the seconds go by, your attitude crumbling right in front of his eyes. While seeing you with less of an attitude is fun, he wants to take it a step further, not wanting to stop until your attitude is gone and you’re giving him a sweet smile he’s sure will make him fold.

“You’re infuriating.” you get out quietly just as the professor starts speaking. You train your eyes on the professor, trying to ignore the way his arm and thigh are pressed against yours. 

Your professor goes over the plan for the course and the assignment instructions before bringing up the final assignment. Rather than an exam, your class will have an assignment worth 40% of your grade that you have to present during the last week of classes, and you must work with a partner. 

“I’ve decided to make it easy for you. Take a look at the person beside you, they’ll be your partner. I figured I’d get partners out of the way now to make sure no one has an excuse to ask for an extension at the end of the semester. I’ll give you a minute to introduce yourselves and exchange information.” your professor tells the class before turning to her computer. The noise in the classroom increases slightly as people around you start talking to their partners.

Your eyes widen slightly at her words, and you sink further into your chair with a groan as you see him turn to look at you out of the corner of your eye.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me, princess.” he says smuggly, a smirk making its way onto his face. He almost can’t contain his excitement. This is a big assignment, and now, you have to hang out with him for the rest of the semester.

You roll your eyes at his words, and then turn to glare at him, which earns a soft chuckle from his lips.

“We should just get this over with. I’m less busy at the start of the semester anyway, so we should get most of it done early.” you tell him, noticing that he’s being less than subtle as his eyes glance down to your chest. You’re wearing a dress today that’s lower cut than you usually wear, and he had noticed the way your dress hugs your curves as soon as you stood up to let him past you.

“You’re just dying to get me alone, aren’t you?” he teases, his smirk widening at your clear annoyance of being stuck by him. He’s glad you want to get to work so soon; he doesn’t think he can go long without seeing you again, even with the classes you share. “I’m free on Thursday, you can come over and we can start working on it.”

You scoff at his words, rolling your eyes. Of course he wants you at his house. You’re sure you’re not the first girl he’s tried to lure into his house under the guise of doing class work.

“Absolutely not. We’ll meet at the library.” you counter, narrowing your eyes at him, as if daring him to argue.

“Alright, alright. But if you change your mind at any time, the offer still stands,” he says, giving you a wink, and running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. He may be teasing, but he means it. He wants to see you in his room, in his bed, and he’s pretty confident that you’ll give in eventually. “I’ll meet you there at 10?” 

“Fine.” You turn your head back to the front of the room, crossing your arms over your chest. You hope he’ll let you be after this, because as much as you don’t like him, you’re afraid that if he keeps complimenting you, you won’t be able to resist him.

“I should probably get your number too, you know, so I can text you. About the assignment.” You tilt your head back at his words and close your eyes, huffing loudly. Mumbling a “fine” as you snatch the phone from his hands and put your name and number into his phone. You shove the phone back at him, and cross your arms again, keeping your eyes glued to the front of the room.

He looks down at his phone as you hand it back, realizing as he reads your name that he hadn’t even noticed that he didn’t know your name until now, his nickname for you just felt right. He mumbles your name as his eyes trace it on the screen, memorizing it. He lets it roll around on his tongue as he gets used to the feel of your name on his tongue.

“I’m Evan, by the way.” he informs you after a moment, licking his lip as he turns to take in your features again, just as the professor begins to speak again.

“Awesome.” you reply sarcastically, opening your laptop again as your professor continues her lecture, ignoring his attention on you.

He doesn’t try to talk to you for the rest of class, both of you sitting silently and taking notes as the professor speaks. You do feel his eyes on you every once in a while, however, and you try to ignore the way your stomach flutters every time you feel his thigh pushing against yours more as the time ticks. It’s like a constant reminder of how close he is to you.

Once class is over, you let out a long sigh as you start putting your stuff back in your bag. He stands up at the same time you do, following you out of the room.

“So, where are you off to? We could-” he starts as he catches up to you, eyes trained on you as you move around people lingering in the hallway.

“I have to go to class.” you say quickly, hoping he gets the hint. You don’t really have class, but even just his presence is making you feel dizzy. He’s so annoying, and yet you can’t help but welcome how he keeps trying to talk to you.

“Sure you do, princess.” he teases. But he doesn’t push further. He slows his pace as you keep walking, checking you out as you walk away, then yells after you. “I’ll see you on Thursday!”

He chuckles softly to himself as you keep walking and pulls out his phone, finding your contact and sending you a quick text. He just wishes you were still right beside him so he could see how you react.

You look down at your phone as it vibrates, seeing a text from an unknown number. Your brows furrow as you open the text, but you roll your eyes once you read the text. You fight back a smile, knowing exactly who it’s from, feeling your face grow hot as you read and reread the text. 

Unknown Number: You look good in that dress by the way, princess ;)

On Wednesday night, after hanging out with your roommate for a few hours, you get ready for bed. You still haven’t told her about Evan, as you really don’t want to hear everything she would undoubtedly say about him. You had previously learned that talking about someone only makes you think of them more, so you decide it would be better to not talk about him at all with anyone. Once you shower and do your night routine, you get into bed. You’re almost asleep when you hear your phone vibrate beside you. You huff, rolling over and picking up your phone to read the text. 

Evan: Are we still meeting at the library tomorrow, or have you already deleted and blocked my number?

You: Unfortunately, I can’t do that until after this semester is over

Evan: Good. I get to see your cute angry face until the end of the semester ;)

You: I’m going to bed now.

Evan: Oh, are you? Are you in bed right now?

You: Yes.

Evan: What are you wearing?

You: Goodnight, Evan.

Evan: Goodnight, princess.

He chuckles softly at your texts, knowing his teasing is getting a rise out of you. He lays in his bed, wondering what exactly you’re doing right now. Are you smiling? Are you rolling your eyes? Maybe both, he’s not sure. He knows he wants to see you right now. Better yet, he wants you in his bed instead, laying under him with his hand over your mouth so you don’t wake up his roommates. He smirks at the thought, closing his eyes as he imagines how you would react as he trails kisses down your body. How your plush body would feel under his hands. He drifts off to sleep very easily.

You can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face as you read his texts. You shake your head and put your phone back down on your table and lay back down on your back, staring at the ceiling. He really needs to stop doing this. You’re afraid that pretty soon, your roommate will catch on, or see a text from him, and then you really won’t be able to hide your growing feelings. You have a hard time sleeping that night, unable to get your mind off of him and his stupid texts.

The next day, you drag yourself out of bed far later than when your alarm goes off. You think you snoozed it twice, but when you finally unlock your phone and check the time, you realize you had snoozed it for 40 minutes. You get out of bed quickly and go to the bathroom to get ready, hoping he wouldn’t give you an attitude for being a few minutes late. Once you get ready and change, you grab your bag and head out the door, walking quickly to the library.

You groan as you walk into the library, seeing him already there and leaning against the wall, staring at his phone. As if he senses your presence, he looks up at you, a smirk forming on his face as his eyes quickly trace over your figure and he shoves his phone in his pocket.

“Rough night, princess?” he teases, pushing off the wall and walking towards you. He’s met with a scowl as you look up at him, huffing as you walk right past him and further into the library.

“Shut up, I didn’t have time to make coffee this morning. Let’s get this over with.” you grumble over your shoulder, going over to the elevator.

“Yes ma’am.” he hums, turning to follow you. You both get in the elevator and you press the button for the group study floor before crossing your arms over your chest and tapping your foot lightly. He chuckles at this, licking his lips before speaking.

“You’re cranky in the morning, huh?” he states, mirroring your stance and crossing his arms over his chest. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you really hated me.”

“It’s a little bit of both, I guess.” you murmur, stepping off the elevator as it gets to the 5th floor. He chuckles under his breath as he follows you, shaking his head. He’ll just have to give you a little while to wake up before he continues, he thinks, not wanting to dig the hole any deeper and make you actually hate him.

Once you’re set up at an empty table, sitting beside each other, you begin talking about the assignment, not wanting to waste any time. He surprisingly doesn’t give you any smartass remarks as you speak, and even gives you a few ideas for the assignment. Honestly, you’re a little surprised. From looking at him, you sort of assume he would make you do everything yourself, but he seems willing to put in the work. He seems to know his stuff too. He isn’t as dumb as you thought he may be. Maybe that’s not very nice of you, but you can’t help but think of him as one of those guys that only got into this school because they’re good at football.

You lighten up after a few hours of working together, giving him a few soft smiles as he slowly starts joking and flirting with you. He can tell that you’re still a little shy, as you keep trying to hide your smile by looking away from him, but he can see it. He wants to see it more, but he can also tell that you’re still trying to keep your walls up, despite his best efforts.

“You know, you’re a lot more fun when you don’t have that little attitude.” he tells you after a few minutes of silence. You look up at him, narrowing your eyes slightly as you fight back a smile by pursing your lips. 

“You’re a lot less annoying when you’re not being such a guy.” you counter, a small smirk making its way onto your face as his face scrunches up in confusion.

“What does that even mean?” he asks with a small chuckle, turning in his chair to face you completely, your assignment forgotten.

“Exactly what I said. You’re only focused on yourself. You walk around like no one else matters but you. And if I had to guess, you’re on some sort of sports team too, right?” you say, shutting your laptop slowly, turning your upper body towards his with an eyebrow raised.

“Uh, yeah. Football.” He’s confused at where you’re going with this, but he’s curious to know more. Maybe he’ll find out why you’re resisting giving into him so much.

“Exactly. All athletes carry themselves the same: like they’re too good for everyone around them because you’re good at whatever you do. That’s how you were when we met. Acting like the world revolved around you.” you explain, moving your arms as you speak. He raises his brows in surprise, and his smirk grows as he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek.

“I was not. You were. You practically bit my head off after you bumped into me.” he argues, keeping a smile on his face, letting you know that he isn’t seriously upset about it. As much as he likes the softer exterior you’ve had the last few hours, he thinks it’s fun when you argue with him.

“Okay, whatever.” you mumble, turning back to your laptop and opening it again. Did he have to keep reminding you of that? It was a bad thing to do, you know that, and you just want to forget how you acted when you met him. It wasn’t like anything you’d do normally.

“Nuh uh. Come on, don’t shut back down again. I’m not holding it against you. It was cute.” he tells you quickly, noticing the way you’re slowly starting to close yourself off again. He nudges your arm with his, hoping you’ll look back up at him as he ducks his head, hoping to meet your eyes.

“Yeah, and it was really cute when you trapped me in the classroom so you could tell me that it was all my fault.” you say softly as you tilt your head up to look into his eyes, your eyes narrowed slightly as you bite the inside of your cheek. You aren’t sure what to make of his words. Why the hell did he keep complimenting you like this?

“So, you think I’m cute?” he teases, leaning onto the table and resting his chin on his folded arms. You scoff softly, laughing as you turn back to your laptop, going back to your assignment research.

You work for another few minutes in silence as he stays in the same position, eyes glancing between your face and your laptop screen every once in a while. You think he’s finally got all the talking out of his system when he speaks again in a softer voice.

“You really don’t like me much, do you?” Your eyes soften at his words as a quiet sigh escapes your lips. You close your laptop again and peer down at him, taking a moment to gather your thoughts.

“I don’t not like you. It’s just, I don’t understand why you’re doing this.” you say softly, tilting your head to the side as you look down at him. You can tell that he really is trying not to be a dick to you, and when he’s looking at you with those big blue eyes, you feel a little bad about how you’re treating him.

“Doing what?” he asks curiously, lifting his head from the table and putting a hand under his chin to rest his head. He tilts his head the same way as you, hoping that if he stares long enough into your eyes, he’ll understand your feelings towards him. “This. I don’t know,” you start, gesturing to him with your hands outstretched. “First, you were a dick, and now you’re trying to, like, get to know me or something. I kinda thought you’d just make me do the entire assignment by myself.” you explain, looking down at the table, laughing softly at your last sentence. He scoffs and puts a hand to his chest, as though your words physically wounded him.

“You hurt me, princess. I’m not a complete douchebag.” he tells you, and although his voice has a teasing tone, his eyes show a glint of hurt at your words. He truly hadn’t meant to be a dick; he was merely trying to get you to keep talking to him. Maybe you aren’t like some of the girls he’s used to. Maybe he has to try a different approach, he thinks.

“Yeah, we’ll see.” you hum softly, turning your attention back to your laptop, trying to fight back a smile. 

Okay, maybe he’s not as bad as you thought.

next chapter

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[tmwcs]

the older sister SECRETLY !!! So sunghoon has 2 sisters and heeseung is dating the younger sister , but the more he hangs out with sunghoon and sees the older sister , the more they fall in love with each other . And that’s where the cheating starts ! IF THIS DOESN��T MAKE SENSE I CAN TEXT U PRIVATELY . If u do this for me I consider u as my sister 🥹😚💗

“I like her, but I love you…”

Warnings: College boy Heeseung cheating in secret, older fem. lead, smut....rough smut....kind of animalistic, craving, like 'oh-my, oh-my God! this c*ck's pumping crazy' smut. unprotected smut. 9k word count, so get your popcorn out.

Bday gift for @hoyeonheeseung

PS: H/N stands for “her name”. Left her name blank.

Thank you for taking the time and reading my stories and drabbles. To show your support, please consider donating into my ko-fi account ♥️

“Hey man, how are things going with you and h/n?”

“Good, she’s my little troublemaker.” Referring to his girlfriend and the younger sister of his best friend, Sunghoon, Heeseung chuckles as he dwells into the little tidbits concerning his established relationship.

“Yeah she can be a handful. But don't forget, she’s only eighteen, it’s not like she’s our age.” Sunghoon responds in jest, chuckling as he winks over to his friend.

“Yeah, I know. I keep that in mind all the time, which is probably why I let her get away with a lot, and am more patient with her than I should be.”

Nodding his head, Sunghoon pats Heeseung’s shoulder as the two walk over to their parked cars.

“So I was going to ask you, are you planning on coming by tomorrow?” Sunghoon asks. Raising a brow over from across his vehicle, Heeseung answers loosely. “Yeah, h/n says she wanted me to meet some of her friends from school, and they were all going to be over at your place. You guys having a party or something?” Tossing his books into the front passenger seat, Heeseung turns back towards Sunghoon.

“Yeah I figured she had already asked you to come by, her friends are all going to be at the house because, well, our eldest sister moved back to the area after accepting a new job. Guess she wanted to be closer to the family, so my parents are throwing a homecoming party for her.”

“That right?” Twirling his tongue, Heeseung had known Sunghoon since they started college, nearly four years ago. Being on their last year together, Heeseung furrowed his brow, slightly surprised. “I didn’t even know you guys had an older sister.”

“Oh yeah man, I probably forgot to mention her because she’s been living abroad. She left the year I started attending college, right before I met you. She normally calls in and emails us, but hasn’t visited because her job is so demanding. But she says this new job is going to give her a lot more free hour.”

“Huh, I was wondering why H/N mentioned that all of her friends would be over. Makes sense now. But yeah man, I’ll be there. I’ll probably take H/N to the movies or something after the festivities are done with.”

“Cool man. See you tomorrow then.”

“Yup, see ya.”

………………………

You woke up early the next morning to the soft light of the spring sun peeking through the bedroom window. Laid out on the side table was a list of residential neighborhoods and apartments nearby, some circled in black ink. You had moved in with your parents and siblings, only just for a period until you could establish your own place. For now, you took the opportunity to enjoy lost time with them. Getting dressed, you chose a simple yet elegant floral dress, that fitted your form nicely. The hem of the skirt tastefully flows inches above your kneecaps, while the tie straps gently rest on top your shoulders. Walking down the stairs, you meet with your mother inside the kitchen.

“Oh, hi mom.”

“Good morning y/n! Did you want some coffee?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Pouring you a cup, your mother sits down and enjoys the one-on-one moment with you, while you both sipped on your favorite latte’s. Turning your gaze over to the window, you spot your mother’s garden in full bloom. While you were away, she had planted your favorite flowers to remind herself of you during your absence.

“Oh mom, I really like what you did with your garden.”

“Thank you, baby.”

Chuckling, you giggle out your words as you playfully bite your lip, a small habit you’ve had for as long as you could remember. “You planted my favorite flowers?”

“Of course! I had to have something to remind me of you while you were gone for so long.” The tone of her words reflected her happiness in having you back home. Reaching across the table, you take her hand and reassured her that you wouldn’t be away from here on out.

“I promise, I'm here to stay mama.”

“I know. But you don’t have to rush, you can stay here with me, your dad, your brother and sister.”

Looking down at your cup, you gently sip while you speak. “I’ll stay for a bit, but you don't have to worry Mama. When I move out. I’ll limit myself to a 10-mile radius so I can be close to home. I promise.” Winking, you watch as your mother smiles sincerely at your resolve. You felt guilty for being away for so long, not to mention your career limited you from gaining the opportunity to travel and visit home. Now, things would be different. Sure, you had to take on a position that was slightly less pay than what you were making before, and you had a wonderful team that you left behind, but that all didn’t matter anymore. You had set your priorities firmly to put family first, and everything else following second. With your brother finishing up college, and your sister beginning her first year at the same university in the following months, you knew that your parents would have been too lonely, so you made your decision and submitted your two weeks’ notice to your boss three months ago, and had been enjoying the time missed ever since.  

“Oh, how did you sleep last night? I tried to get H/N to give you back your old room for just a few nights, but you know your sister…”

Chuckling, you bit your lip again as you playfully shook your mother’s hand. “It’s okay. The guest room was nice and quiet. Plus, I’ve always liked it up there.” After you had moved out, your sister took over your old room, which happened to be the second largest bedroom in the house, with your parent’s master suite being the biggest. The bedrooms all shared the same hall, but the guest bedroom was nestled away up on the third floor, originally as the attic.  However, your parents designed it to be formatted as a guest room for family visits and had kept it as such ever since.

**** photo of bedroom

When finding out that you were moving back home, your mother went through great lengths to fix up the guest space after H/N had initially begged, then later refused, to give back your old room. Yet you didn’t mind, the guest room was laid out with gaudy floral wallpaper but was actually, quite cozy, and nicely tucked away from the remaining bedrooms, which all were located on the first level. The second floor had a nice family room, along with a guest bath, additional office spaces that your father used as his private study, and a small sitting room. The way things were set, you felt like the little princess you always used to dream yourself as, locked away in your tower with all of your favorite books and a great view of your mother’s garden.

“Sis!”

 You turn your head over to the sliding door near the dining room and watch as H/N runs over and sits next to you. “Can I borrow that one dress you have? The red sexy one! Pleeeeease!” Bouncing in her seat, your sister eagerly begs as she taps her artistically extreme manicured nails on the table. Adorned in clusters of jewels and painted in neon colors, you took a moment to notice how lengthy the exaggerated pointed acrylics were.

“Yeah, sure.”

“EEEEEEEEEK! YAAAY! Thank you Y/n!” Hugging your neck and placing a quick peck on your cheek, h/n runs up the stairs, causing quite the clamor on her way up. You chuckled and smirked as you heard her run up, scurrying through your closet and dressers for that simple red dress you wore for work. It was a formal piece, one that you wore under a blazer whenever you went into the office, and it was a bit too sophisticated for a homecoming party, but you already knew that once your sister had her mind set on something, there was no changing it.

The visitors started to show up, collecting out in the backyard where all the decorations and food was nicely laid out. Your mother and her friends had displayed a massive spread of assorted dishes on a long picnic table. Sunghoon assisted with placing the decorations up, while H/N mingled with her friends. You were taking one last glance over the residential properties on the rental ad before placing it back down on your side table. You head down towards the kitchen, however, upon arriving on the second floor, you run into H/N and her group of friends as they walk up to catch you in the guest room. “Oh! Sis! Perfect timing!” H/N runs over to your side and links her arm with yours. “Guys, this is my sister y/n.”

“Wow….you’re so pretty.”

“Your hair is so long and shiny!”

“Gosh why is it that older girls are always the prettiest?”

“Its probably because they learn from each other’s makeup and hair styles in college.”

One by one, h/n’s friends all admire you while talking aloud, taking a moment to feel your hair, stare at your dress, and ask about your makeup tips. They displayed a look of shock when you exposed that you were wearing minimal products, keeping it simple with blush, lipstick, and some eyeshadow. You were always one to avoid heavy makeup, opting to keep things real and simplistic.

“Thats it?! That’s all you’re wearing? How are you so pretty with so little makeup?”

“I can’t wait to be older so I can be just as cool and sexy as you. I like that womanly confidence, my own older sister has that same vibe.”

Chuckling, you playfully side eye H/N as she proudly presents you to her posse. “See? I told you! My older sister is the prettiest!”

Skipping as she drags you along, H/N finally lets you go when you all reach the kitchen. “Sis, you coming out?” H/N screeches out. She was always so flamboyant and quite loud, more than likely due to the excitement she had in showing you off. “Come out so we can show you some of our cheers that we’ve been practicing!”

“Oh alright, gimme a second. I’m just going to grab some water and I’ll be right out.”

“Okay! Hurry up!” She shouts out and leaves. You had nearly forgotten that H/N was continuing her cheerleading curriculum, even in college, and planned on entering the cheer competitions. Pouring yourself a glass of water, you quietly gaze through the window and watch as the number of guests grew larger. Minutes past, and more people enter through the gate in the yard. A sudden scream of excitement is heard from afar outside, and you knew it was H/N and her friends. Shaking your head while you smirked, you sipped on your drink as you checked your phone on some work-related matters, before placing it down on the kitchen island and prepared yourself to walk out and greet the guests.

…….

“Oh my God Heeseung!!! You’re here!”

Running towards him, H/N jumps up as Heeseung catches her in his arms. Gripping onto his hair and overbearing him with kisses, Heeseung winces his eyes shut and gives it a moment before finally speaking out. “Okay, okay. I get it, I missed you too.” He chuckles as he lets her down.

“Come meet my friends! They’ve all been dying to meet you and oh my Gosh! Can we go to the mall later? I want to show you off to all my friends that are working at the stores today!” Jumping up and down, completely hyperactive as she holds onto his hand, H/N eagerly waits for Heeseung to answer. He couldn’t lie to himself, as much as he cared for her, her hyperactive personality could overwhelm him sometimes, much like her friends. It was nothing out of the ordinary, however, for him it wasn’t something he was quite used to, given that all of his other girlfriends were his age and in college. This was the first time he decided to dip into someone as young as H/N. At times, he felt he needed to break away whenever she had her moments where that teen spunk was over the top.

“We’ll see.” He answers.

“But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Please please please!” pulling on his arm, H/n expresses her pleas in a shrill and loud voice as she displays a puppy-eyed countenance, pouting her lip to exaggerate her desperation.

“Let’s just see how the day goes, h/n. Besides, after the day is done, I was planning on taking you to the movies.”

“Oh! The movies!!!” She jumps up with excitement while her mother gently shushes from the side. “H/n, shhh, quiet.” your mother whispers over secretly to H/N. “You’re making a scene.”

Huffing out, H/N shrugs off her mother’s warning before resuming her gaze back to Heeseung. “Can my friends come?” She asks excitingly.

“You don’t want to go together? Just the two of us?” He calmly winks over. “Oh my God!! Heeseung!!” She shouts out and giggles, stirring a commotion among the guests, which had caused Heeseung to immediately grow wide eyed and shoot a hand over her mouth, all out of sudden instinctive reaction.

Heeseung eventually met up with Sunghoon, and the two standoff at a distance enjoying a beer while H/N and her friends all swoon over the newest kpop group stepping into the scene of popularity. “Oh my God he’s hot as fuck!” H/n can be heard admiring aloud, once again earning a quick tap on her arm from your mom, gesturing her to be more polite and quiet. Never minding that Heeseung could hear, in h/n’s mind, it was okay for her to openly swoon so long as it wasn’t with someone that was realistically achievable, plus, she was a young girl with a lot of emotions and hormones that caused her to be overly expressive, as well as experiencing a change of heart nearly every day. One moment she was into one particular thing, the next she was into something entirely different. Zoning off as he watches the girls indulge into their typical gossip, Heeseung takes another sip out of his beverage before engaging in conversation with Sunghoon.

“So, how is your other sister holding up being back home?”

“She’s loving it. Which….where is she? She should be out here since this is her party.” Sunghoon looks around, yet the lack of your sighting caused him to reach out to your guy's mom for confirmation. “Mom, where is y/n?”

“Oh well she should be– oh! There she is.” Catching the sight of you walking out through the back sliding door, your mother’s sentence is cut short with the pleasant note of your appearance. “Y/N, over here!” she calmly shouts out your way, waving for you to come to her direction.

Walking calmly, you nod and say hello to everyone you walk past, flaring a sweet and soft smile as you greet them before reaching your mother.

“Oh hey, Y/N! Let me introduce you real quick before mom steals you away, this is my good friend, Heeseung. He and I had been friends since our first year together. He’s also h/n’s boyfriend.”

Surprised, you pleasantly smiled towards the young man and extended your hand to shake and greet him. You heard all about H/N’s boyfriend, especially since the latter couldn’t contain her excitement and talked of nothing else since the moment they started dating, sending you at least a handful of emails a day talking about him. It was just surprising since she never revealed him to be an older college male, nor did she mention that he was good friends with Sunghoon.

“Nice to meet you, I’ve heard alot about you from h/n. She’s really taken with you.” flashing a charming smile, you delicately shift the pieces of your hair framing your face and tuck it behind your ear as the gentle breeze blows through it. Unlike H/N, you opted to leave your hair un-styled, letting it fall freely in its natural state, which enhanced your features and placed you above all the girls Heeseung has ever laid eyes on, to include the girls at his college, and H/N.

“Yeah…nice to meet you.” Stunned by your natural and yet sophisticated sense of manners, your appeal had struck Heeseung out of his right-minded state and he found himself at a loss for words. Leaving his response short and simple, you nod and make your way over to your mother. Sunghoon went on about one thing or another, yet Heeseung paid no mind, he tried to keep it from being obvious, but it was hard. Fortunately no one really noticed. Keeping his face towards his best friend, his eyes kept shifting over your way, glancing periodically as he did his best to get an eye full of your image before reengaging with Sunghoon.

………………..

“So yeah, we were doing this in class the other day when….”

“Mmhmm…..”

“And then the dude literally started to get into this argument with my professor….”

“Oh yeah? …..”

“Right in front of the entire class.”

“Crazy man.”

Noting Heeseung’s spurt responses, Sunghoon pauses in his storytelling. “Heeseung, you good man?”

“Hm?...Oh yeah, no I'm good. You were saying? The guy argued with your professor and what now?”

“Oh. For a second I didn’t think you were listening.” Chuckling as he sips on his beer, Sunghoon continues, not catching on to Heeseung’s habitual habit of roaming his gaze over where you stood. Admiring the calm, mature, and graceful woman that you are, he was becoming smitten with you.

 It was strange, he thought that he’d seen every type of woman there was to see. The college girls at his university, or H/n and her friends, all of whom shared similarities, but carried minor differences in their character. Yet despite all that, they were nothing compared to the level of true feminine beauty that you held. All in all, when it came to the girls his age, they were all somewhat stuck up and believed that they had their lives completely figured out, but lacked the will to prioritize their days appropriately and spent more nights partying and sleeping around campus. Then there were girls like h/n, younger, filled with life but had no clue as to how to deal with it. Often living rather childishly and carrying no balance when it came to expressing themselves or developing their feminine nature. They didn’t have life figured out and it showed, and most times, they flared off exactly what they were, a bunch of teenage girls, nothing more.

Then there was you, a young woman in her prime that had already surpassed the stages of her teen years, and survived her college days, albeit you handled it gracefully since Sunghoon had already mentioned that you spent your entire time in college taking online courses, so you could stay home and help out your family. You ignored the typical college life of rotting away in a classroom, dealing with the pressures of your peers, and the late-night partying. Instead, you worked your way through during the day, diligently on your home computer, and then carried on your free time to assist with family matters. If that wasn’t already virtuous enough, you graduated with an excellent standing in your class and obtained a respectable career. You were nothing like the women and girls he’s been exposed to. The way you carried yourself confidently, gracefully, so smooth, elegant, and your pretty appeal had a sense of smoldering essence, which he found devastatingly sexy. What type of woman were you and where had you been all this time?

Throughout the entire event, Heeseung remained out of character and rather on the quiet side, which he claimed was all due to tiredness from late night studying, or so he lied when telling Sunghoon and h/n. By the end of the event, he lies once more and tells H/N that he had too much to drink to drive out to the movies or the mall, and opted to stay back with Sunghoon until the alcohol wears off before safely driving back home. H/N didn’t seem to be too upset about the ordeal, considering one of her friends had a license and a car of her own. Bidding Heeseung goodbye with a quick peck on the lips, h/n departs with her posse while Heeseung and Sunghoon assist with the cleanup.

“I’ll take this inside for you.” Taking the load of stacked plates, Heeseung effortlessly carries them away and heads towards the kitchen. “Oh thank you Heeseung.” Your mom gently responds back with.

Sunghoon helps out your dad with taking down the festive decorations and lighting, white your mother picks up the remaining trash. Placing the dishes in the sink, Heeseung turns on the faucet to lukewarm and begins filling it with warm soapy water. You walk in, inadvertently sneaking up behind, which was the most pleasant surprise for him, unbeknownst to you.

“Oh hey, you don’t have to do that, I can take care of those.” You gently speak out as you walk up to the sink. He turns his head and sees you enter the kitchen, gasping out of bewilderment. God, you were a sight for sore eyes. Where did you come from? Surely not the same way h/n and Sunghoon came into this world, you were far too ethereal in his eyes.

“Oh, it’s fine. I don't mind helping out, I do it often actually.” Knowing his way around the kitchen, he takes a sponge and starts to wash each dish. You stood next to him and grabbed a spare sponge and helped out. He was awfully tall, and despite being quiet, he seemed very nice, you could see why your family liked him. H/n had often talked about Heeseung spending a great deal of time over at your parents house, spending days after classes hanging out with her and Sunghoon,. With as much time he spent over, he was practically part of the family, it's no wonder he knew where everything in the kitchen was.

“Are you excited to be in your last year of college?” You asked calmly, making conversation as you scrubbed, and he rinsed. Displaying a wide and overly happy grin, he chuckles bashfully as he bites his lower lip. “Yeah, I am. I bet you were pretty happy when you finished.”

“Yeah, I was.” you nodded with a smile and a small giggle. “But I can’t lie, I do miss the days where all I had to focus on was being a diligent daughter and student. Being on your own and facing the world head on can be scary sometimes.” you softly state as you glanced over to him with a tender smile.

“Oh God don’t do that….don’t look at me with those beautiful shiny eyes…and that gorgeous smile of yours…..you’re making me melt…..and you don’t even know it.” 

Mentally noting the greatness of your appeal, Heeseung gently shrugged off the image of your face in order to avoid staring.

Spending the next thirty minutes washing the plates had to be the greatest highlight of his life. His heart felt as if it was going to explode, you were a bewilderment to him and he couldn’t get enough of the way you smiled, sound, and laughed. Your large dark eyes, that shiny black hair, and that damn olive complexion. God had spent extra time on you, perfecting his craft as he created the greatest gift to earth, you.

Over the timespan of weeks, Heeseung spent a great deal over at your parents’ home, which didn’t seem at all odd considering he was already coming over well before you had moved back home. Using Sunghoon and even H/n as an excuse for his visit, he relished the moments you came down to grace everyone with your presence. It was actually quite impressive how no one sensed or caught on in seeing how enamored he was with you. All those moments when he and h/n were watching Nextflix in the living room, snuggling in the corner end of the sectional couch with Sunghoon on the opposite end. You’d walk past through the hallway and enter the wide, open floor concept and head towards the kitchen when Sunghoon would gently invite you to join them.

…….

“Sis, what’re you doing? Have you watched this show? Come sit and watch it with us, it’s getting good.”

…….

Whenever you accepted the invite, and took a seat on the large couch, Heeseung took advantage of the lack of lighting, with only the TV being the source, and used it to hide the fact that he would stare and admire you during the entire show. With you facing the TV and paying attention to the plot, as did everyone else, no one ever could suspect that Heeseung was falling for you, hard. That obsessive and uncontrollable stare was something that only he knew about, and it made him yearn for you more as each day passed.

……………………

“Hey Heeseung, the company y/n works for is hosting a weeklong internship program. I know we don't have any plans to work for that corporation, but figured, why not take a week-long break away from campus and classes. You in?”

“Her company is hosting an internship for a week?”

“Yeah man. I asked her about it and even asked if she can pull some ropes and become our aid, show us around, pretty much just hang out. We can take that time to chill out.”

“Yeah, I’d like that. I’m in.”

He was in, alright, but for entirely different reasons. He could care less about taking a rest period away from campus and classes, he would spend his days in a grueling classroom for hours, wasting away, if it meant that he’d be with you.

It didn’t take much to get Heeseung and Sunghoon accepted, you pretty much had established a decent reputation within your company, so taking on the tasks of showing the two internees around, out and about, was something that was accepted without any hesitation. The first day, the two men showed up wearing proper attire of business-casual suits; you walked past the security after exiting the elevator, flaring your VIP pass. Greeting the two, Heeseung caught himself widening his eyes for the thousandth time when he saw you. You carried out your typical habit of wearing bare, minimum makeup, but this time your hair was nicely styled, and you wore an elegant haltered, collared button up midi-dress, paired with black stilettos. You not only looked professional, but sleek and powerful, much different from your carefree style you flaunted when lounging at home.

“My God…this woman is a queen…she’s classy, sexy, pretty, and smart….she’s just….she’s everything.” he thought.

“Hey, were you guys waiting for long?”

“Nah, we just got here. Pretty nice place you work at, sis.” Sunghoon comments as he winks in your direction, remarking the incredible building and strict security.

Giggling at your brother’s sense of humor, you playfully narrow your eyes at him. “Thanks.” chuckling, you tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, something that you constantly did since you always opted to keep your hair down, even when styled. The way you would delicately finger the strands behind the helix of your ear, revealing your pretty earrings, had Heeseung swore up and down that his heart was going to stop beating.

“Should I take you guys up and show you around?” you ask, to which both men nod in agreement. They had looked so suave and handsome, and you couldn’t help but admire, whenever he wasn’t looking, that Heeseung had a very dashing smile and looked very nice in a suit. You had to admit, there was something about the way he would chuckle or smile at you; you figured he had that same effect on everyone else, yet little did you know, his countenance was far more special whenever he was looking your way. You, the woman who was stirring a rumble of chaos in his heart, all out of love and infatuation. How was he ever going to get over you? How was he going to move on if he stayed with H/N? Knowing that you’re her sister. Or…worse….how was he going to live? If things didn't work out between him and H/N…knowing that he may never see you again. As shameful it was for him to admit, but never hating the fact, he was merely keeping his relationship with H/N alive for the sole purpose to keep in constant contact with you, and even…his friendship with Sunghoon. His relation to his best friend was still dear to him, but he found it hard to find any other reason to come by your parents home, other than to see you.

During the internship, you spent a great deal of time with Sunghoon and Heeseung, even after the event had ended, your bond with both Sunghoon and Heeseung continued to grow. Since H/N was in her own little world and spent much of her time with friends and hanging out after cheerleading practice, Heeseung found himself available to build a steadfast relationship with you.

Another week later, your bond started to become much closer…with Heeseung. With Sunghoon attending his classes, some of which he did share with Heeseung, others were separate, your younger brother had aspirations for a career that differed from his best friend, not to mention the presence of a young lady he had been frequenting with. Heeseung knew about her, and encouraged his friend to take the chance after the young woman had expressed interest in his dear friend. Sunghoon agrees and ever since, you had been seeing less of him around the house. But Heeseung remained, always dropping off H/N and spending some time with her at the house, normally watching movies or tv shows. However, when H/N became more engrossed with her friends and attending house parties thrown by people she knew, her presence became lacking. Heeseung never had any interest to attend events that were filled with younger teens, so of course, he would spend more time hanging out with you. In no time,  Heeseung and you had started to become close, and even had each other’s phone numbers.

You had sold your car before the move, and had the means to get a new one, yet when Heeseung frequently offered to give you rides and encouraged you to contact him whenever you needed transportation, it became a railroad that connected you two together. You had long forgotten about buying your own vehicle, it became routine for Heeseung to meet up with you, that he did it without you even texting him. He knew your schedule and would show up promptly to take you to work, pick you up, or stop at the store along the way home. During the weekends, whenever you felt like getting away, you would call him and invite him to a day of leisure, which he happily and always accepted. He was enjoying the amount of time he got to spend with you, it became the highlight of his time. Since meeting and forming a bond with you, there hadn't been a single bad day, even when classes were overbearingly long and going past schedule, his heart and mind was only filled with the image of your face and the sound of your voice. He couldn't wait to see you every day after his classes ended.

On a gloomy Saturday morning, you had the entire house to yourself. With your parents gone on a trip until Monday, H/N out on cheerleading camp, and Sunghoon taking his new lady friend out for the entire day on a date, you felt a bit lonely and bored. Taking your phone, you text Heeseung to see if he was up to go out to your favorite cafe. He was delighted and expressed he would be right over.

Pulling up to the driveway, Heeseung steps out and heads for the front door. Having been treated as an extending member of the family, he unlocks the door with the house key that once belonged to H/N, but her terrible habit in losing the previous spare copies had allotted your parents to encourage for her to give it to Heeseung to hold on to. Since he had always picked her  and her friends up after cheer practice, and dropped them off at home, it had made sense for him to keep hold of it, especially now with H/N away at camp. Entering the house, he calls out gently to make you aware that he arrived.

“Y/N, I’m here.” 

Hearing his voice from downstairs, you make your way over to greet him. “Hey, sorry for the wait, just going to grab my phone and wallet and we can go.”

He didn’t hear a single word you said. Only the sound of your voice and the image of your perfect visual was all he could process. You chose a flirty and tasteful summer dress, which had fit you so beautifully. It was without patterns, just a solid teal color that complimented your features greatly. Your hair swayed with every move you made, and he lost his complete train of thought as you shut of the lights. With the entire first floor darkened, the dim glare from upstairs peered in through the staircase. “Oh shoot, I must have left the light on in the guest room. I’ll be right back.”

“Kay…”

Walking back up the stairs, you enter the guest bedroom that featured all of your belongings nicely staged amidst the furnishings your parents had prepared. Walking over to the lamp, you glanced over to the window next to you and noticed how magnificent the moon had looked. It was bright and full, glowing in a range of orange and golden hues. Staring off into its glorified image, you thought of the last time you had seen the moon this beautiful. It was back when you were H/N’s age, and you were about to graduate high school, immediately preparing for college entry. Lost in a sense of nostalgia, you drifted so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even hear his footsteps going up the stairs, entering the attic, and walking up from behind. You didn’t hear his shallow breath as he breached closer, and like you, he continued to take in a sight of something dazzling, one that wasn’t pearly perched in the middle of the night sky, but was equally, if not, more beautiful.

Coming up from behind you, he calls to you. “You okay?”

“Hm? Oh…sorry. Yeah, I’m fine, I was just looking at the moon and it got me thinking for a second.”

“Yeah?...” Softly dashing a side smile, he looks out the window and peers at the moon for a moment, then looks back over to you. “What are you thinking about?”

“I just…I don’t know, I was just thinking about when I last saw the moon like this. I was h/n’s age.”

Biting down on his lip, his eyes shift down to your hips before as he takes one step closer. Looking back up at you, his gaze was more stern, hungry even, and intense. “Yeah?....Were you just as amazing back then as you are now?”

Shifting backward, your breathing becomes deep and shaky as you take in his rather fierce stare. He looked so ruthless, yet his tone was soft and gentle. “He-Heeseung….?” You spoke out nervously.

“Answer me…” he softly tells you, as he takes another step forward, and watches as you take one back. His aura and stance was intimidating, much different than his usual persona. He faintly tilts his head to the side and widens his eyes as he stares directly into you. “Tell me….y/n…..were you always as bright as the moon? And as warm as the sun? Were you always as gentle as the fluttered wings of a butterfly, and as swift as the summer breeze?”

He continues to take his steps forward, speaking in a near whisper. You kept the distance in between your bodies while taking your steps back, until you felt your shoulders meet with the wall. Lowering your hands and reaching behind, your palms contact the cool surface, and your fingers tap along the small threaded grooves of the wallpaper, desperately trying to find something…anything to get a grip or to get away from the tension…which was starting to make you cave in. “Heeseung….He-Heeseung….don’t….we….we can’t…”

“What?....”

“Just….please….” sensing the intense desire he yearned for you, his eyes become glazed with the lust of passion and hunger. “Can’t what, y/n?” he softly speaks out, now closing the distance and meeting you chest to chest. “Heeseung…please…” you whimpered out softly. His gaze was doing something to you, it was almost as if he was calling for you, and your body was responding against your wishes. There was something about the way he was whispering your name, thirsting for you with his hungry eyes, and pressing up on your body, trapping you against the wall. There was something about the way his whispered words were antagonizing you to bid a suitable answer, one that you could not think of, yet he kept asking you…

“Can’t what?....” Raising his hands, he places both palms on the wall to each side of your head. Leaning into your ear, he whispers your name. “Y/n….”

You turned your face away, winced your eyes shut and avoid any sort of both, physical and eye contact. His hard chest presses against your breasts, and his groin meets with your pelvis. “Heeseung…..sssstop…..this is wrong….”

“If it’s wrong then push me away….come on baby….push….me….like how you’ve been pushing me.”

Turning your face straight forward, you looked at him confused. He nearly glares at you as he speaks in a firm tone. “Yes….that’s right, I said ‘push me’. You’ve had no problems doing it all this time. Pushing me over the edge…pushing me out of reality….pushing me into a state of madness and hunger……pushing me to love you harder….”

Widening your eyes at what seemed to be his confession of love to you, you shift around and placed your hands on his chest, gently pushing him outward, yet you weren’t pushing hard enough. You were shocked. Was Heeseung really in love with you? But more importantly…were you just now realizing that you might be feeling the same about him? You shook your head, trying to come back to a rational sense and reminded yourself of h/n and her relationship with Heeseung. Keeping your hands on him, you push just slightly harder, yet he leans forward, causing your arms and hands to retract back.

“Push harder….” He whispers against your cheek.

“Heesung we can’t…..we can’t do this…”

“Then push harder…” grabbing onto your hand as it lays plastered on his chest, he strokes the back of your palm as he continues to whisper onto your skin. “Come on baby….push harder.”

The way his pursed lips grazed against your skin, and the way his voice sounded when he called you ‘baby’, it may have been weakness or desperation, maybe it was a little bit of both, either way, you stopped caring. You came to realize the truth behind the close bond you built with this man, and how you came to be so fond of him. How his smile always caused your heartbeat to escalate, and how his voice sounded whenever he said your name, causing your stomach to flip upside down. Once more, he whispers deeply, this time, it was against your lips, all the while he stared into your hazy eyes.

“Push it…..keep pushing it y/n……”

Whimpering, you falter. “I…..I…….”

“Yeah?...” his voices begin to peak.

“I……Heeseung…..”

Smothering his lips against yours, you melt in his sudden embrace. You reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, further going numb when you felt his arms grip around your waist and lifts you to deepen that hold he had on you. Softly moaning into your mouth, he deepens the kiss and feeds his tongue as deep as he possibly could. Running out of air, you both wait til the very last second upon reaching the pinnacle of lightheadedness, before faintly breaking the kiss. With his nose pressed against yours, he tightens his wrap and lifts you higher, causing you to close any remaining distance as you wrap your legs around his waist. Walking over to the bed, he gently lays you down on the plush bedding. Your arms fling up and over your head, with your hair gracefully spread all around. Reaching up, his hands smooth their way above your head and grab onto your hands, slowly intertwining your fingers together. From there, his kisses trail down to your chin, and to your throat. He smothers you with one kiss after another, before coming back up, just below the lobe of your ear. With your face peeled to the side, and your chest heaving upwards from the denseness of his weight on top, you arch your back and dip your hips low, craving for more of his touch. Whispering into your ear, he unleashes the depth of his braved confession.

“You have no idea….just how much I’ve been wanting you. How many days and nights went by where I thought about you…just you. There’s nothing in my life that I ever wanted more than what I have right before me….pretty girl you should be mine….only mine….and I should be yours.”

Fluttering your eyelids up, growing weak from your shaky breathing and the throbbing tingle that taps your core, there was no way you wanted him to stop, but the thought of h/n came to mind and you gave it your last shot to be mentally strong….despite your heart wanting him all for yourself.

“Hee—Heeseung…..but….what about….m-my sister…?”

Keeping his lips latched onto your neck, he whispers in response. “I like her….” propping himself up, he hooks on the hem of his t-shirt, slowly lifting it up and over his head, revealing his hardened muscles. Flinging it off to the side, he stares down at you with almost a cynical stare, one that was psychotic, but filled with love. “But I love you….”

Gasping at the sight before you, you moan and whimper as you reach up and reaffirm the hold around his neck, bringing him closer to you. Never have you felt such intense love from someone. You have dabbled into the dating life and had a couple of boyfriends since college, but nothing too serious. This….this was something far more crazy….intense….insane even…..but it was a love that you knew that was too good to deny.

Draping your hands down onto his biceps, you arch your back sharply, pressing your breasts against his chest upon feeling his hands traveling low. Swooping under your thighs, he lifts and guides them to wrap around his waist as he rolls the hem of your dress up and coils it around your waist. Hooking his fingers on your panties, he starts ripping them apart. So eager to have you, he couldn’t quite understand anything other than satisfying the hunger he had been feeling since meeting you. He became a beast, a ravishing monster that needed to be tamed, and the only one that could do it, was you. You gasped upon feeling the tugging of him ripping the fabric of your underwear apart, yet were quieted down when he faintly breaks the kiss and places a single finger atop of your lips. “Its okay…..baby, I’m not going to hurt you….I’m just going to feed on you….” Resuming the kiss, he twirls his tongue inside, ever so lovingly. You feel his hands tug on the straps of your dress and pulls them loosely over your shoulders and exposes your breasts to the warmth of his chest as he cradles you in a sweet embrace. Your thighs begin to shake as you rub your fingers up and down his biceps, and moan into his mouth.

Locking your lips in, he delivers a single, sharp buck from his hip, hitting you semi-hard in between your legs. Yelping out of intense pleasure, you release a trailing moan into his mouth as he prevents you from breaking the kiss entirely. Sensing your nerves calming, he delivers another hit from his hip, this time grinding the clothed bulge into your core. You gasp for air upon feeling the mixture of pleasure and friction, causing you to become delirious and lost in the heat of passion. Smirking into your mouth, knowing full well that he was getting you weaker by the second, he delivers a series of repeated dry thrusts that gets you yelling out a trail of gasping moans.

“Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!”

“Yeah?…yeah? Come on baby….” Clenching his jaw, his thrusts become harder. “Show me how pretty you look, as MY girl...my pretty woman..”

You nearly lose your voice as you continue to moan slurred words and incomplete sentences, all starting off with his name. Propelling his weight off, he unbuckles his belt, and removes his jeans. His nude body now fully connects as you remain mostly bare, with only your flirty dress rolled around your waist, leaving you exposed beneath the tatters and loose ends of the fabric. Kneeling between your legs, he remains propped up high and mighty, leaving you merciless beneath his glaring smirk. Taking you by the waist, he drags you closer, and grinds into you as he takes his shaft and strokes it in between your plush folds. Watching as the skin surrounding your slit caresses his shaft, he triggers your body to secrete the hint of slick moisture, gently glazing his member. Chuckling while admitting a dashing smirk, he looks into your eyes directly, giving a harsh and relentless stare. He didn’t look as soft and gentle as he had all this time since you’ve known him. His eyes were much sharper, defined, and narrowed, and he had a dashing yet devious smirk that was much different than the traditionally handsome one he flares off. It was as if he was taken over by something, a hunger that manifested out of the great desire and love he had developed for you, almost immediately after seeing you for the first time. Was it love at first sight? Or were you just everything he had always dreamed of, yet thought too good to be true to exist? Either way, the moment was here, where he finally had you in his arms. Even he, himself, doesn’t know what exactly was coming over him, but that remained irrelevant as he gazed on the magnificent view beneath him. The suppleness of your skin on your breasts, the smoothness of your legs, and the loveliness of your delicate slit, which he could not wait to plunge in.

Licking his lip, his lids grow heavy and for a moment, you somewhat came back to your senses, but it was too late. With his hand firmly gripping your waist, he takes the base of his shaft and slowly begins to enter. You grab onto his hand immediately upon feeling the bulge pushing past your enclosed cavity. Your body hitches up and forward, reacting to the sting of his rather large and lengthy muscle, only for him to drag you back towards him.

“Ah! Wait…..I….” your breaths transition into raging pants from the immense pressure. It had been too long, and you had forgotten that unique and painful sensation of your walls breaching, but with Heeseung, it was ten times more blistering given his thick girth and exaggerated length.

“Shh….its okay baby….I’m right here. I’m going to make you feel good…”

Feeling each inch sliding in, your thighs start to shake, and your pelvis grows numb. The beat of pain starts to disappear and after a few seconds, all you feel is the pressure of your walls separating. Deep inside lays your soft and tender spot, and after looking at seeing how largely endowed he was, he reaches it, as you expected. Your chest deeply heaves and your back arches even more, expanding the volume of your moans to beat off the walls. Your body rolls and curls, causing your hips to surf up and down, gently tapping against his groin and letting him know that you were wanting more. So more much. Your hands move up but could only reach his naval region as he remained on his kneeling position, while you laid restlessly taking in the plunge. Your fingers delicately drag down and tap against his skin, shakily. He lets out another deep chuckle.

“Heh heh…you ready for me?” Trailing his hand across your chest, he firmly takes hold on the side of your neck. Answering him, you nod eagerly, but nervously. Smiling while breathing out unsteady exhales, amidst feeling the pressures of your tight walls hugging his cock, he releases a shaky chuckle. “My woman…”

Thrusting in the remaining bit of his shaft, he pelts himself all the way in. Your eyes jolt wide with a look of pain and slight fear as you gasp out a yelping moan.

“Oh fuck….keep looking at me like that….you’re so……fuck….” He gasps out as he picks up the pace and thrusts harder and deeper. Faster and faster, he expands the horizon of his sight as he views your facial expression, the movement of your breasts bouncing at high velocity, and how his cock was violating your womanhood. Just as much he was enjoying it, so were you. Seeing how monstrous he was in fucking you, had only thrilled you. The level of intimidation of his manhood and abrasiveness, all accompanying his will to please you, and himself, became the best feeling in the world that you could ever experience. Shifting your grip, you grab onto the blankets to each side of your face and moaned out every inch of ecstasy that he gave. Beating it into you, his cock throbs and pulsates, causing him to fuck you even faster and deeper. This man, your younger sister’s boyfriend, was giving it to you so good, you didn’t want it to end. At that moment, you didn’t care about the outcome of all this, it felt too good to give it up, the more he plunged in, the more you screamed out his name. He went on, and on, and on.

“Ugh! He-Heeseung!”

“Fuck…..” With his hand still maintaining a side grip on your neck, his thumb swipes up and down the center of your throat as he continues his merciless thrusts. “Oh fuck…fuck fuck fuck…..” he gasped out in whispering groans. “You’re so fucking perfect….I could fuck you forever……”

Going in even faster and harder, your body becomes a blur of your tone and complexion as it succumbs to his aggressive thrusting, causing you to bounce relentlessly up and down against the bedspread. Your head pins down on the pillow as he keeps you steady with his hold, using it as leverage to bring you in each time he thrusts back inside.

“Oh my God…!!” You gasp out in a smoldering tone, causing him to twitch inside as he heard the pleasures within your voice. The moment you felt the knot snap, you had the entire penetrating area soaked as you continuously gush out the pleasures of your orgasm. Watching as his cock glistens in between his thrusts, he growls out your name. His hand twitches its grip, and you feel his fingers faintly digging into your skin. Shifting his hold, his hand moves upwards, caressing your cheek, while his thumb swipes over your lips as you catch your breath. Releasing his essence, he remains buried inside and pumps every ounce of his hard labor inside of you. Sliding out, he exits out of your cavity, leading out a trail of his cum to not only seep and pool inside your walls, but to also decorate the exterior of your sex as he spills his seeds on your clit.

Leaning into a crawling stance above your tired and weakened form, he trails the tip of his nose along your throat and up to your chin. Embracing you in a passionate kiss, he rests his body next to you and pulls you in to a tight hug, leaving small kisses along your helix while he simultaneously tucks your hair behind it. Caressing your face with his fingers, he continues to show every ounce of his love, even after displaying his vigored performance in filling you with it. After catching your breaths, you broke the ice, even though you were enjoying the soft silence.

“….What happens now?....”

Heeseung remained aloof. He knew what he wanted, and nothing, even your eighteen-year-old sister, wasn’t going to keep him from keeping you. Hugging you tightly, whispers as he buries his face into your hair.

“What’s going to happen….is you continue to be mine, and leave everything else to me. I’ll deal with H/N. Just stay here and be mine…and only mine.”

You turn your face half way to flare your side profile at him. “Promise you’re going to be nice and go easy on her?”

“Why wouldn’t I be nice? I’ll be as nice as I can about it, and to her. But I’m always going to be nicer to you.” Leaning into your ear once more, he whispers. “Because I may like your sister….but I love you.”

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[skwhluvr]

sung hanbin as a dad / husband | headcanons

❀ paring: sung hanbin x fem!reader 

❀ warnings : pregnancy, kissing, marriage, morning sickness, talks about insecurity due to pregnancy, pregnancy cravings, just very cute generally, fluff, small angst (?), zb1 members makes camo, hanbin (yes he needs his own warning) let me know if i missed any :D

❀ a/n: starting off by saying I apologize for any grammatical errors 😓 i watched that ep of zb1 taking care of the babies and i needed to write something + that picture influenced me sm. sticking to headcanons because im not confident at all with my story writing skills and i haven't really written one in ages. anyhow hope you guys enjoy this !!! thank you sm for the likes and reblogs on last one :(( <3 🥺

❀ was listening to all of me by john legend, dandelions by ruth b and love me like you do by ellie goulding while writing this.

- y’all should watch the ep because he’s so :((( I want to cry I love him so much <3

- during the pregnancy he would buy all those mother’s book or any pregnancy related books he could find. he would probably act like a mom who would tell you to eat certain things since it’s good for your pregnancy. He would come home each day with some random fact.

- he loves talking to the baby !!! he would lay down next to you and start talking to your tummy <3 “hi baby !! your dad is so ready to meet you ! omg did you what your mom tried today ??” he goes on telling the baby bout his day and leave kisses ALOT OF THEM.

- every night before bed he would give you a kiss and your tummy one because apparently he needs to be equal sharing his love (he’s playful)

- he’s willing to buy any type of food regardless of the time, to make sure your cravings are satisfied. on top of that he would actually join you and “try” have some of your cravings.

- one night he will find you curled up crying. it was one of those nights where you let insecurities get the best of you. immediately he would drop everything and bring you to a hug. “what happened love ?” “i just. i just feel like you wouldn’t love anymore for how i look after i give birth, and these marks it’s such-” “love don’t say such a thing. I’ll always love you and right now you’re looking most beautiful i have seen my life, carrying my child”

- he would spend the night cuddling with you and giving reassurance that you’re beautiful, amazing and best thing that ever happened to him.

- he is such a girls dad and you cannot disagree with me. I speak the truth /j

- he would be biggest supporter during your pregnancy. honestly you couldn’t have done it without his help <3

- “no hanbin no more sweets.” “but look at them ☹️ how could you say no to those eyes 🥺☹️”

- probably would say it’s time for bed and spent an hour playing with the child. hey at least you get to relax.

- randomly would surprise you and the baby with flowers or just something random

- Lego or puzzle games = family bonding

- teaches the kid how to dance. it could be random chores of their song or just any song he has in mind.

- love mothers or fathers or children’s day ! you guys have a tradition of some kind. whether it being going out to eat together or stay home and have home cooked meal. just cute little tradition for your little family ♥️

- hanbin would love to spoil his kid. whether it be toys or clothes. if he ever goes shopping he won’t forget to bring something for his child.

- he loves to bring matching clothes for three of you guys. it just warms his heart sm.

- one night you see him cry and worried you asked him what happened. he would explain how you and the baby is the best thing that happened to him. how’s he’s so thankful for it all the time 🥺 you would give him the biggest hug ever (i love him sm)

- his members came to visit the baby. boy WAS THE BABY SPOILED. all 8 off them just couldn’t stop themselves !!!

- all of them are so absorbed by how the baby is !! they would honestly fight on who’s the better uncle. hanbin will make joke how yujin has a younger sibling.

-hao is the official babysitter 😍

[fluentmoviequoter]

Finally Home

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!shy!military doctor!reader (r is Lucy's adopted sister)

Summary: You enlist your boyfriend Tim to help you surprise your (adoptive) sister Lucy after being deployed for several months.

Warnings: brief angst and depictions of loneliness/depression, then lots of fluff!

Word Count: 1.6k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Being adopted into the Chen family continues to be the best thing that ever happened to you. It didn’t help your shyness much, but the love and sense of belonging you’ve found outweigh all the bad you’ve experienced. When you joined the military, becoming a military doctor, you overcame your shyness enough to be a great doctor. However, when you stop being a doctor, you’re back to the shy sister Lucy knows and loves.

The last time you were stateside, you met Tim Bradford and fell for him quickly. During the six months you were home, Tim learned nearly everything there is to know about you, and he loves all of you.

Now, in your seventh month stationed in Europe, you look forward to your weekly call home. You call one of two numbers: Tim or Lucy. They’re always together when it’s time to answer, so you know you’ll get a chance to talk to both of them and grow shy from across an ocean. Your dog is sitting beside you as the call begins.

“Hey, sis!” Lucy greets happily when the line connects.

The picture is blurry today, but you smile when you see your sister. She’s in her uniform, in an empty office at the police station. Being seven hours ahead means you usually catch her or Tim while they’re at work.

“Hi,” you answer. “Is Tim there?”

“He’s actually on patrol,” she answers. “I’m sorry; there’s a huge problem here right now so they’ve got a ton of people out there.”

“That’s okay. How are you?”

Lucy looks up when a door opens and turns the computer away.

“I’m pretty good. I want to hear about you, though, because not much has changed here.”

“Move,” Tim demands.

You can only see his hand as he reaches for the computer, and you duck away from the camera as they compete for your attention.

“Chen,” Tim says.

“Which one?” you ask.

“The one whose badge I can take. Just let me say hello.”

“Why don’t you just sit together?” you suggest. “Not to say I don’t enjoy this.”

Tim huffs as he pulls a chair beside Lucy, forcefully turning the computer so you can see both of them. He smiles, and you forget what you were going to say.

“Any word on when you’ll be home next?” Lucy asks.

“Nothing. I’m hoping to hear something soon though. There isn’t much happening, so they’ll probably need to move me soon anyway.”

“Then they should let you call more often,” Tim comments.

“I agree. I miss you.”

Tim elbows Lucy gently.

“She meant both of us,” Lucy argues. “Didn’t you?”

You nod and look up suddenly.

“I have to go,” you explain. “I’m so sorry. I love both of you and I’ll talk to you as soon as I can.”

“I love you,” Tim replies.

“Love you, sis. Be safe,” Lucy adds just before the call ends. “I miss her, Tim.”

“I know.”

Lucy continues staring at the blank screen, and Tim asks her about something he noticed days ago.

“What’s going on?”

“I just- I’m sad all the time. I don’t know if it’s just because she’s gone because I’ve been dealing with her deployments for years, but the only thing I want, have wanted for weeks, is to see her. It’s hard doing everything without her when she’s the only person I want to share things with.”

“I’m sorry, Lucy.”

“Bradford, Chen, we need you back out there when you’re done. This crime spree is getting worse each time we try to make progress,” Wade says.

“Lets go, we’ll ride together,” Tim offers.

“Like the good old days!”

“I hope not exactly like those.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Superiors are giving you a choice,” your MC commander begins. “Transfer to Germany or temporary leave before being stationed in Fort Bliss, Texas.”

“What would I be doing in Texas, sir?” you ask.

“Continued training and teaching, mostly. And the temporary leave is only two months, but after all this time in Europe I assume you’d return to sunny Los Angeles.”

“I’d like to take the Fort Bragg position, sir.”

“Okay, I’ll let the Surgeon General’s office know. I’m sorry to have interrupted your call; video broadcast has ended, but if you’d like to make a phone call, share the good news, go ahead.”

“Thank you, sir.”

You walk into a private office, dialing Tim’s number and hoping he’s alone. Lucy has been down the last two times you’ve talked. She hides it well, but you’re her sister and can see through her.

“Bradford,” Tim answers.

“Chen,” you reply. “Are you alone?”

“Yeah, I am. What’s going on?”

“Is my sister okay? She’s seemed really sad.”

Tim sighs before he answers, “She misses you. A lot.”

“Then I need your help with something. I’m coming home.”

“When?” Tim asks. “I mean, I’ll help you with anything, but I’m so happy to get to see you again.”

You press your lips together, feeling heat rising in your cheeks.

“I should be there in a week or so, but I’ll let you know a date when I have one.”

“Okay. And the help?”

“I want to surprise Lucy. Any ideas?”

“Well, there is a restaurant she can’t stop talking about.”

“Tim? I’m going to be home for two months.”

“I get you for two months?”

“I can’t wait,” you answer sarcastically.

“Give me a date and time and I’ll get Lucy there.”

“Will she get suspicious?”

“Who do you think I am? She won’t have a clue.”

✯✯✯✯✯

A week later, Lucy has been checking her phone nonstop. She hasn’t heard from you since you abruptly ended the last call, and her concern and sadness about missing you are beginning to overflow. All of her fellow cops have noticed, so when you call and ask a few of them to meet at Lucy’s favorite restaurant to cheer her up, they happily agree.

“Get ready,” Tim demands at the end of the shift. “We’re going to dinner.”

“Why?” Lucy asks.

“Because we’re both worried and need a distraction. She’s fine, but you’re going to make yourself sick worrying like this, Lucy.”

“Okay. Give me ten minutes. Where are we going?”

“Your favorite.”

Lucy smirks as she walks to the locker room. Tim checks his phone but hasn’t received any message saying you landed.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Easy, boy,” you whisper, patting your dog over the Military K-9 vest as the plane lands.

The other passengers are kind enough to let you get your duffel bag and exit the plane first, rushing to the car rental counter and leaving for the restaurant. You’re running late, and don’t even think about letting Tim know you’re back in Los Angeles. As you park, seeing the ‘Service Animals Welcome’ sign on the door, you realize you forgot to tell Tim your dog is with you.

“Let’s go introduce you to my family.”

Pulling your phone from your pocket, you call Tim.

“Hey,” he answers. “I don’t have long before your sister shoves me over a balcony to talk to you.”

“Patio?” you ask, smiling.

“Yep.”

“I’ll be over in a minute.”

“Is that my sister?” Lucy asks, attempting to pull Tim’s arm away from his ear to take the phone.

“Tim, I have to go. I love you. Tell Lucy I said hi,” you say before ending the call.

✯✯✯✯✯

Lucy sits down, dejected. She tries to enjoy the appetizers and her friends sitting around her, but she wishes you were at the party. The door opens, and Lucy glances over before picking up her head and giving her full attention to the person walking through the door. Her jaw drops as she watches you walk toward her, a dog at your side. Lucy’s shock turns to a smile as she jumps from her seat to hug you. As you return her hug, smiling as you whisper how happy you are to see her, Tim’s hand covers yours as he takes the leash from you.

“Hey, bud,” he says to the dog. “Lucy, could I get a turn?”

“No,” she says against your shoulder.

“Hi, Tim,” you greet, turning your face away when he smiles.

“Hiding from my smile,” he muses. “Can you survive two months with me?”

“Two months?!” Lucy repeats, pulling back.

“I like your dress,” you murmur, seeing her for the first time in too long. “And, yes, I have two months of leave before I move to Fort Bliss.”

“Where is that?”

“Texas.”

“You’re staying stateside?” Tim interjects, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You shrug, turning in his arms to hug him.

“Welcome home,” he says, kissing your jaw as his arms tighten around you.

“Thanks for helping me with the surprise.”

“I’ll always be here with you.”

“So will I!” Lucy adds.

“Are you going to fight to hug me now?” you ask.

“Yes!” everyone at the table answers.

“And you brought a dog!” Lucy cheers, lowering her hand to pet your dog.

“I love you,” Tim says, pulling a chair out so you can sit between him and Lucy.

“I love you,” you reply softly. “I have one more thing I didn’t tell you, though.”

“What?” Lucy and Tim ask together.

“The position I took is a teaching job, so I’ll have more time to visit.”

They hug you simultaneously, no longer fighting over who gets to go first. You drop your chin towards Tim’s arm and smile. When your dog puts his paws in your lap and joins the hug, you know you are finally home. Sitting at a table with the two people you love most in the world, you know the next two months will be amazing, even if you're shy the entire time.

[fict1onallyobsessed]

Can we get one where someone says something really hurtful to reader while in the ring (that wasn’t scripted, and it surprised everyone even the one who said it because it wasn’t meant to be said?) and Rhea supports Reader back stage? Comfort plssss

Slight Misunderstandings

Rhea Ripley x Reader

It was almost as if the world stopped for a second. Everyone in the audience, everyone in the ring, everyone backstage, even you, stopped to look at Edge as he stood in the middle of the arena with a mic in his hand. The smirk he had on his face was quickly wiped off as he realised what he’d done, the silence making him feel like he would cripple under such spotlight. You just stood in the middle of the runway, with the intention of getting backstage just like what the script said for you to do.

You didn’t have a clue what to say back. Do you even say anything back? You wanted to scream and shout at him, throw the mic you had in your hand at him, but you just couldn’t. You stood frozen looking at him with wide eyes thinking about what he said, completely different to what you’d actually be in the ring. When you did manage to process everything, you dropped the mic and continued your walk backstage, everyone suddenly booing Edge when they saw how defeated you were.

Yeah, you won the match. But what was it worth when Edge managed to ruin every ounce of pride within you. He took it, shrivelled it up, and made it die like paper in fire. Your win suddenly meant nothing to you, even thought seconds before it had meant the world.

Walking backstage was probably the worst part. People were silent, not clapping like they usually do. Even Triple H was silent, a expression that could only be described as an apology apparent on his face. The belt around your waist? Meaningless once again.

Your weak feet dragged you quickly to get away from everyone, the last thing you wanted to do was be within people who only served you pity. No one really knew what to say, because congratulations would only make you want to get away from everyone even more.

It wasn’t until you felt hands against your waist, pushing you quicker towards the locker rooms, that you snapped out of your daze. A slight distraction that made your throat close up when you noticed who it was. Rhea led you away from people, her hands never leaving your body as she did so. She knew the second she turned you around you’d start crying, and she tried to do that away from as many people as possible.

“I didn’t know he was going to say that.”

She locked the door and hugged you tight, kissing the top of your head as she nodded.

“Nobody did. He wasn’t meant to.”

Only then did you let a tear fall. Everything you accomplished seemed to just crumble under your feet. A single comment made you want to disappear forever. Rhea knew that though, her hands never stopped hugging your waist, letting you cry the emotions out so you didn’t have to do it alone. You love her for that, but the indescribable feeling of sadness never went away.

“Hey, shh, shh.” She soothed, peeling you away from her, her hands cupping your face firmly but softly. “Don’t let him take this away from you. You can cry about it any other day, okay? Enjoy this,” she pointed to the belt around your waist. “Because this is once and people will try and drag you down every single day. Don’t let him win.” She wiped the tears off your cheeks and dried your eyes with her sleeve, smiling gently down at you as you melted into her touch.

“I’ll beat his ass for you next week when the Judgement Day fights him, okay? Don’t cry, babe. He’s not worth it.”

You nodded and sniffed, feeling her kiss your forehead before she let go of you. Thankfully, the only media you had to do was a small interview with some woman who knew exactly how to make you forget about Edge, but other than that, all media was on tomorrow.

The trip back to the hotel was quiet but calm. Rhea made sure to make you feel okay every second of the night and never failed to mention your big win. Eventually, all was okay. But that was only because Rhea was there to make sure you were alright

THE END.

[paperweight91]

Like I’m Gonna Lose You

Part 1

Summary: your crush on your married lawyer friend gets a little out of control…

Warnings: smut, Daddy kink, infidelity

Pairing: Andy Barber x Reader, mentions of Andy Barber x Laurie Barber

A/N: This is something inspired by the lovely @georgiapeach30513 ! If it wasn’t for her AMAZING fic Desperate Affairs I’m not sure this would exist.

If you would like to read more I am hoping to post the next part soon.

Autumn set in early this year, much earlier then you ever remembered it setting in before. Only the first week of September and you were already wearing your fall jacket to work. You always loved fall, but wish that summer could last just a little longer.

You locked up your apartment as you set out for work, earlier than usual so you could stop and get a nice warm coffee, heck maybe you’d even spring for one of the seasonal drinks since it was pay week.

As you walked into the little cafe and joined the line, which was already so long despite the early hour, you spotted him. ADA Andy Barber. The man you had secretly crushed on for months. It was embarrassing at this point. Mostly because he’s married. It was so hard though, he was always so kind and attentive. In those moments it was easy to forget why you shouldn’t be crushing on him.

“Hey!” Andy smiled at you, and your heart jumped into your throat. Why did he have to have such a nice smile? “I didn’t know you came here. It’s been a while.”

Yeah because I’m avoiding you.

“I don’t usually,” you tried to smile but it probably came out more like a grimace. “With how cool it’s been I wanted a warm treat and no better time than pay week.” Ugh, why? Why were you so awkward?

Andy made small talk as you both progressed through the line. It was wonderful, and so horrible at the same time. Once you placed your order, he quickly sidled up beside to place his own and pay for both.

“Andy! You don’t have to do that!” You look up at him pleadingly.

“My treat.” He says, and he has his courtroom voice on. “Maybe this means I’ll see you here again since you didn’t have to splurge today.” He winks at you.

He WINKED! That has to mean something. God you wish you were better at this.

“Thank you Andy. I really appreciate it.” You smile shyly. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow since it’s my day off and I can actually sit and enjoy a coffee for once.” You laugh at your own joke.

“I’ll be here same time, I’ll even save us a table.” Andy says as he reaches for both your cups from the barista saying a quick thanks.

“It’s a date!” You smack you forehead. What a stupid thing to say to a married man. Married, he’s married! “I uh I didn’t mean, you know date as in dating. Oh god. You know what I’m uh I have to go to work. Thanks again Andy.” Your face heats up as you speed walk to your car.

Stupid, stupid! How could you have said that out loud, to his face! He’s gonna think you’re crazy. Scratch that you are crazy. Pining after a man who’s married with a kid. Just ridiculous.

You look up hearing a tapping on your window - it’s Andy. You roll down your window, looking directly at your steering wheel, still too embarrassed to look at him, you can’t even ask him what he wants, it’s too much. He’s probably here to tell you to stay away from him.

“Hey sweetheart,” ugh the pet name is back. He always calls you this when you do something embarrassing. Usually it’s something small like tripping or dropping stuff. Nothing like proclaiming seeing him as a date.

“I’m so sorry Andy, that was so innapropriate. I should not have said that.” You speak barely above a whisper. Not even sure he heard you.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll see you tomorrow same time, okay? Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He reaches his hand through the open window and strokes your hair back from your face.

Huh. Andy’s always been affectionate with you, maybe he’s taking pity on your by now obvious crush on him.

“Th-thanks Andy. See you tomorrow.” You put the car and gear and drive away. God that man he did something to you.

Your day at work was mostly wasted as you spent most of your time thinking of how your date with Andy would go tomorrow. Coffee, he invited you for coffee. That doesn’t mean it’s a date. It’s true lots of friends just get coffee with each other.

Finally, your work day over you sign off and say good bye to your coworkers. Getting in your car, you decide to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things since you planned to spend all of tomorrow reliving your date with Andy. Whatever, it’s in your own head. Enjoy the moments while you have them right?

Picking up your essentials for the week on autopilot, you barely realize when your back in the car and are halfway home before your brain comes back online. Oh well, at least it wasn’t far. Although you should probably stop day dreaming about Andy while driving. That was a sure fire way to get in an accident.

You spend most of the night tossing and turning, not sure what to think about tomorrow. You finally pull yourself out of bed at 5, knowing you won’t be getting any sleep. You shower and decide to wear one of your favourite fall outfits. A brown sweater dress that has always fit you well. Putting on some light make up, you look at the time and realize you’re running later than you thought and rush out the door.

Pulling up to the cafe you see Andy through the window. As promised sitting at a table, with two cups infront of him.

You take a breath and look at him closely before you walk in. He looked good when he’s not in a suit. He also looks good in a suit, but casual - in jeans and a sweater? This is new and fantastic.

“Andy!” You say as you walk over to the table. “I thought you might be working today?” You don’t mean it to come out as a question but it does anyways.

He laughs and smiles at you. “ I have to go by the courthouse later, but wanted to see you this morning.” His eyes sparkle at you. “I got you the same as yesterday, I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s great but you didn’t have to. I thought I was paying today.” You pout at him as you sit across from him. This kinda feels like a date, right? You can pretend at least.

“I know, I know. But how could I let you pay on our date?” His smile is mischievous. Like he knows he’s doing something he shouldn’t.

Your blush reaches your toes if possible.

“Oh God. Andy I’m so sorry, I know this isn’t a date, I can’t believe I said that, to your face!” You cover your face with your hands but not for long. Andy reaches across the table, and holds your hands in his.

“Andy?” You’re confused. Very confused. And maybe reading into the situation a little too much.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” His smile is so warm on his beautiful face. And you’re not sure what to say so you take a sip of coffee.

“Did you order black?” You ask him and he nods. You quickly switch the cups and sigh at the sip of your over priced pumpkin spice whatever.

From there the conversation flows for more than an hour. You’ve never been able to speak to someone like this. Not friends or ex-boyfriends. Andy is such a great listener and so passionate when he speaks. You get lost staring at him while he tells you about a case he just wrapped up.

Watching how his eyes light up when he mentions something he was clearly proud of. How his neck flexes when he recalls something seedy the defence did. He’s just beautiful.

“Hey,” he waves a hand in front of your face. “Did I lose you for a minute?”

“N-no, of course not. You were talking about how Neil’s been trying to steal this case from you?” God you hope that’s right.

He sighs, wrong. Dammit.

“Laurie finds this stuff boring too. I’m used to it. We can talk about something else if you want.” You definitely don’t want that. He seems so sad, and put out by your obvious distraction, it’s natural when you reach across the table to cup his cheek.

“I’m sorry Andy. It’s not boring I promise. I just um…” you trail off, unsure of how to say what was actually happening.

“What sweetheart? You know you can tell me.” His face is a mix of confusion and worry. And you don’t like that so you know you have to tell him.

��Well I just was watching you while you spoke, and I know it sounds creepy. But Andy you’re so passionate and it shows throughout you. I really admire that about you.” There that wasn’t terrible. He won’t think the wrong thing, right?

The smile that spreads across his face makes your insides jump around. Beautiful.

“Thank you sweetheart. You want to get out of here?” Wait what? Isn’t that what the creepy dude you met at the bar asked you? It must have shown on your face because he quickly added, “I’d like to spend some more time with you, but I’m not gonna lie. These chairs? They’re killing my back.” He laughed.

You laughed too. “Would you want to come back to my apartment? I could make us a bite to eat?”

“That sounds great sweetheart. Text me your address, I’ll meet you there.”

You text him your address and start to gather your things. He walks you to your car with his hand on the small of your back the whole time. It’s not weird, friends do this. Right?

You race back to your apartment to do a quick tidy before Andy shows up. Just when you begin to think he isn’t showing up, there’s a knock at your door.

“Sorry! Couldn’t find parking” he must have parked pretty far away. You see the slight sheen of sweat on his brow.

“That’s alright, please come in. And excuse the mess I was planning to clean when I got back.”

His eyes take in your apartment and you squirm like he’s inspecting you.

“Is something wrong?” You ask. His silence is making you nervous, and you shuffle your feet.

“Oh sweetheart no, nothings wrong. Your place is wonderful. I was just trying to find this ‘mess’ you speak of.” He pulls you into his arms. And you giggle at his joke and the closeness. “ is this okay?” He asks wrapping one arm around your waist. The other has found it’s way to your face cupping your cheek and bringing you closer.

“Uh Andy what’s going on?” You’re nervous it’s obvious. He can’t be doing what you think he’s doing.

As leans in you can see his lips get closer before he whispers. “Please don’t tell me it’s all in my head. You want me, don’t you?”

Before you can respond he’s kissing you. Actually kissing you. And the world stops for a moment, because this? This is perfect, and wonderful and-he’s married.

You push him away. “Andy, you’re - you’re married. What about Laurie?” God it hurt to push him away. But you can’t do this right? Even if you’ve never felt like that kissing someone before.

Andy sighs and pulls away from you. And that hurts worse than stopping the kissing. He begins to pace around your living room, before he gathers his thoughts. He finally turns to you and places his hands on his hips.

“Just answer me. Do you want me?” He looks sad again, and that’s a look you don’t want to see on his face. And worse to know you put it there.

“Of course I do. But-“ he cuts you off.

“Sweetheart, things with Laurie they’re - complicated. And you, I feel so much more like myself around you. Please, if you don’t want this I will walk out that door, and never bother you again. But if you do…” he trails off. The most earnest look on his face.

Your body makes a decision before your brain can catch up and somehow you’re kissing him again. But this time it’s much more heated.

“You’re sure?” You mumble against his lips. His only answer is to wrap his hand around your thighs and lift. Blindly carrying you over to the couch. He trails kisses down your neck to the line of your sweater dress. His hands skimming up your thighs underneath your dress to your panties.

“Wanted you for so long.” He says between kisses to your collarbone. “Wanna see you sweetheart, can I?”

You nod bashfully and he gets up so you can pull your sweater dress off. There you are standing in front of Andy Barber in nothing but a nude lacy bra and panty set.

“Don’t hide from me sweetheart. You’re beautiful like this.” His hands reach out to you and you go into his embrace. And he’s kissing you again. Pushing you down to the couch he starts to grope at your breasts, before releasing the front clasp on your bra.

The groan Andy lets out when he sees your breasts spill out flips a switch in you. This man wants you so badly, he’s willing to cheat on his wife for you. You reach down to remove your panties, but Andy’s hand stops you.

“Want you to keep them on sweetheart. Gonna fuck you, then fill you up and then you’re gonna keep it in there all day till I tell you to clean up. Cause you’re my good girl right?” His pupils are blown wide as he looks down at you. And all you can do is moan and nod.

“Please Andy…” you’re writhing and mewling beneath him and he’s barely touched you. You reach down to pull at his fly and button to get his cock out.

“Such a good girl for me aren’t you sweetheart?” He starts to pinch on of your nipples, while massaging the other breast. “Want Daddy to take care of you? Get you all cockdrunk and full?”

“Please Daddy,” you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore as you slowly jack him off. “Want you so bad, always wanted you, only you.”

Andy groans and surges forward to kiss you again. His hands leave your breasts to line himself up with your core. He pulls your panties to the side with one and runs the head of his cock between your lips with the other.

“Look at you, drenched for me and I’ve barely even touched you. Tell me how bad you want it baby, and then I’ll give it to you.” You reach up to cup his cheek.

“Want you so bad Daddy. Need you. Feel like I’m gonna lose it if you’re not inside me soon.” You whine and whimper as he teases you with his cock.

Finally he starts to breach your pussy. It’s a stretch, he’s bigger than you have had before, and you reach up to his arms and squeeze.

“You’re doing so good for me baby. Just a little more. Daddy will take care of you, I promise.” He’s whispering as he leans his forehead against yours. His eyes staring straight into yours.

“You’re so big, I don’t think it’s gonna fit.” You whimper and he kisses your temple. Finally you feel his balls slap against your ass and he’s all the way in.

“Oh baby, gonna fuck you now. You ready?” His hips are already pulling back before you can answer and they snap forward roughly.

Your eyes roll back as he gets into a rhythm. No one has ever throughly ruined you like this before. He may have ruined you for other men.

Andy sets a brutal pace, his hips snapping into you fast and rough. His right hand cupping and playing with your breast and the left sneaking into your panties to rub circles on your clit.

“Daddy please ‘m close.” It’s building inside you and before you can warn him your screaming out your orgasm.

“That’s it, such a good girl for Daddy. I’m right behind you baby.” And somehow Andy’s pace picks up again. You didn’t think he could fuck you any faster or harder, but here he is railing you within an inch of your life.

“‘M close baby, almost there.” He groans his release and you feel his cum flooding into you.

He pants into your neck for a few moments as you stroke one hand through his hair. The other is shamelessly clinging to his ass.

“You did so good for me baby.” He leans over you to pepper kisses all over your face causing you to giggle.

“Andy!” He laughs and finally gives you a break. Looking down at where you’re both connected he slowly starts to pull out, causing you to shudder. He lets your panties snap back into place, and slides down to kiss over your covered mound.

“Remember baby keep it all inside until I tell you to clean up okay?” This is new. The sex you’ve had with men before was…meh at best. And now you’ve slept with a married man, who wants you to call him Daddy and keep his cum inside you all day.

“Uh Andy?” You’re not sure if you want to tell him this. But you probably should.

When he climbs back up your body and gazes into your eyes it’s to see a searching expression on his face.

“Yeah baby, what is it?” He’s so kind, so sweet.

“What does this mean?” You can’t look him in the eye. It’s too embarrassing.

Andy sighs before responding. “I want to do this with you. Get to know you, spend time with you, fucking ruin you for other men. I don’t know where it will god, but we’ll figure it out as we go. Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you.”

And that’s how your affair with Andy Barber started.

After that it became a regular thing. When he could sneak away from Laurie he would text or call you to come over. There was nagging guilt building, but you always managed to push it away.

He was choosing you over her!

You let it carry on for months, trying all of Andy’s newest ideas to bring you both pleasure. After the first time, he didn’t linger around for very long after. Usually leaving as soon as he had you stuffed full of his cum. And you of course just kept falling for this unavailable man.

As you tidied up the house on your day off you heard your phone start ringing from the kitchen where you must have left it.

“Hang on!” You rush through the living room to answer, knowing that the only person who ever calls you is Andy.

“Hey Sweetheart,” ugh his voice. It got you every time.

“Hey Andy, what’s up?” That was casual right?

He laughs across the line, “I miss you sweetheart can I come see you?”

“Oh course! I was just tidy-“he cuts you off.

“Great I’ll be there in 20.” With that the line clicks off. You hum as you lose interest in tidying and decide to change, since you know what’s coming.

Slipping out of your pants and t-shirt, you decide on a floral dress with spaghetti straps. Andy always likes when you wear dresses for him.

15 minutes later you hear the knock at your apartment door that can only be him.

You smile as you open the door. “Hey, were you in the neighborhood?”

He doesn’t answer, just closes the door behind him, and pulls his jacket off. He goes to sit on your couch and gestures you to follow him.

“Is something wrong?” You ask him with a worried look on your face.

Andy’s face softens as he pulls you into his lap. “No sweetheart, I’m sorry. It’s not you. Just a bad day and I needed my good girl around to help me feel better.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and nuzzle into his neck. Peppering kisses along the collar of his shirt. “I’m sorry, can I do anything to help you feel better?”

His smile is watery as he turns his face to look at you. “Can I take you to bed baby? I just need to feel you.”

“Of course Daddy, always want to feel you.” You wrap your arms tightly around his shoulders as he lifts you bridal style to take you to your bedroom.

He gently lowers you to your mattress, and himself above you. The kiss he plants on your lips is different from all the times he’s kissed you before. It’s slower, more passionate, like he’s trying to convey more without words.

You thread your fingers through his hair with one hand and use the other to start unbuttoning his shirt. Which he quickly shrugs out of. He moves to the zipper of your dress, normally something like this he’d barely undress you, but today something was different. Did he feel it too?

When you were both fully naked he cupped your cheek and stared into your eyes for a few moments, before slowly easing himself into you. Slowly he began to rut into you, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the pleasure building, slowly, but in a delicious way you had never felt before.

Using one arm to brace himself he brought the other down to your clit and started rubbing figure eights.

“Oh Andy, please I’m close. Don’t stop.” You were panting.

“I know sweetheart, I’m close too. Come on, I want us to cum together.” He adds more pressure to his fingers and changes the angle of his hips so he’s hitting your g-spot with every thrust.

“Oh! Oh, right there, right-“ you cut yourself off with a loud moan as your orgasm tears through you. It almost feels like you black out for a moment, because the next thing you know Andy is collapsing beside you and pulling you into his chest.

Through the afterglow you manage to murmur a few words to Andy. “I love you…”

He stiffens underneath you, the slow strokes of his hand running up and down your arm stop immediately.

“Andy?” He starts to sit up, not looking at you. In that moment you realize how wrong you had gotten everything. He didn’t want more than the sex. That was it, and here you were falling in love with a married man.

“I have to go.” He quickly gathers his clothes, still not looking at you as he dresses himself. While you sit alone and naked on your bed, in shock. Once he’s dressed he spares you a glance before walking out your door.

As soon as the latch clicks into place it’s like the last few moments finally hit you. You told him you love him, and he left. You turn over and sob into your pillow, uncaring for your nakedness, or how cold your bedroom is. Still smelling his cologne there makes you sob harder, to the point you feel like you’re going to throw up. It’s too much. You gave him too much of yourself, and now what do you have to show for it?

The days seems to stretch on after that. Everything seems to be passing in a haze around you. You call in to work on Monday, because why bother.

On Monday night you get a text from Andy. To say you’re shocked is an understatement. You stare at the notification for a while, unsure if you want to see what he has to say.

Deciding that you pretty much already knew what it was going to say you decide to jump in the shower, since you can’t remember the last time you did that. Stepping out you see your phone taunting you from the counter. More notifications from Andy.

Hey Sweetheart, just wanted to check in. Can I call? Pffft yeah right.

I’m sorry Sweetheart, please just let me explain

Nope, not gonna work.

At least just let me know you’re okay? Why were you starting to feel guilty? Of course you weren’t okay. Of course you didn’t want to speak with him. Of course you were falling for it.

Before your brain catches up to what you are doing you’re phone is ringing to Andy.

“Hello?” His voice is rough, like he was sleeping. Maybe he’s as upset as you?

“Sweetheart? Are you there?”

“Hey, yup, sorry. What do you want Andy?” Ugh, why are you almost crying again.

“Can I come over and we talk? Please? I want to explain and I don’t want to do it over the phone or through text.” He’s pleading. Well good, he broke your heart.

“If you want to come over to make it clear that this was just sex to you, no need. You walking out the door after I told you I love you-“ your breath gets caught in your throat but you power through. “That made things pretty clear.”

“That’s not-“ this time you cut him off.

“No Andy. Unless you’re about to say ‘I’m leaving Laurie’ this conversation is over.” You pause waiting for him to say something, anything. After the longest moment of silence you’ve ever experienced in your life passes you hang up.

It’s like you have no more tears left. You stand there alone in your sad apartment feeling the worst you have in a long time. You decide you need to move on, avoid Andy at all costs and live your life like you used to before the tornado that he was, came blustering in.

[dailyreverie]

Can I please have number 9 from your comfort gestures with our boy Poe please? 😘

here's a cheeky Poe for you 😊💖 thank you so much for requesting! Also, I know the prompt says winking or sending them kisses but like... why not both?

Prompt list: Small but comforting gestures #9. winking at them, or sending them flying kisses and seeing them fluster

Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader

Word count: 549 words

CW: mentions of nudity (or: Poe talking about seeing him in his underwear which is also a warning by itself really)

Poe couldn’t help it, he was unbelievably proud. You had been nervous since the night before… even before that, since the moment the General asked you to deliver the news on your mission alongside her, and seeing you up there, showing the entire base how much of a badass you are, had transformed his face into a huge, proud smile. 

“It’s nothing big, I don’t know why she wants me there.” You had told Poe for what probably was the millionth time, fidgeting with the sheet as you got ready for bed.

“Are you kidding me? You found a whole-ass First Order settlement, sweetheart.” He had grabbed your face sweetly, making you look into his eyes - reassuring and soft, and so, so full of warmth. “You deserve to be there so everyone sees that it was you who found it, that’s why she wants you there, and you know it.” With a soft kiss, he calmed your nerves down. “Besides I’m going to be there, so if you get nervous just look for me and picture me in my underwear.”

“Poe!” You pushed him away, snorting at his terrible advice.

“What? That’s not how it works?” He laughed back, his mission of making you forget about it successful enough.

But there you were now, in front of the whole Resistance right next to Leia chiming in with your tasks on the mission as she told everyone about your discovery and your amazing job - her words, not anyone else’s -, all while you, for Maker’s sake, could not stop your hands from sweating and shaking.

You did what you knew best, maybe even unconsciously so: among the crowd in front of you you looked for Poe. It was easy to find him, after all, he had to be close to the General, but the moment you met his eyes you regretted it immediately. Not because of the way he was smiling or the way he was looking at you, but because of the wink he gave at you - cheeky and so confident, and definitely reminding you of the solution he gave to your nerves.

You had to bite your tongue not to giggle out loud, sending him a warning with your eyes that told him to behave. You should have known better since the flying kiss he gave as a response did all but calm you down: your ears were turning red, your breath hitched in your throat, and an audible shaky sigh made Leia turn to look at you.

“Would you mind going deeper into detail about it, Lieutenant?” Her lifted eyebrow told you she had seen it all.

“You were supposed to help, you nerf head.” You scolded him, pushing his shoulder as you joined him, sitting beside him again.

“That’s your own fault, honey.” Poe laughed with a kiss against your head, his arm reaching around your shoulders to pull you closer to him. “I’m really proud of you, you know that right?”

 “I know.” You were glad you had rested your head on his shoulder, not letting him see you get flustered again.

“Just for that, you do get to see me in my underwear tonight.” His last words were mixed with a giggle as you pushed his leg in annoyance.

“I’ll hold you to that, Dameron.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Thanks for reading! Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER EIGHT - READER

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

 Today has literally sucked every single last bit of energy I had left inside of me. Dark coffee with six packets of sugar and a fruit bowl could not have prepared me for the day I had. 

 I’m not sure if it’s because I stayed up late last night to put together lessons or how active my students have been during classes, but a bottle of wine is well needed right now. 

 Days like this make me want to quit my job and move out of the country. Usually, I would feel this way if I was teaching elementary school kids. Not high schoolers. 

 Sometimes they refuse to listen to you. Somehow, they magically forget about their homework, so they beg for an extension. And a lot of times they talk while they’re supposed to be silent reading. 

 It’s overwhelming being a teacher. Anyone who does it, is simply for the passion because the pay isn’t the greatest. 

  Thank goodness for my savings. 

 Anyways.

 I’m ready to go home. This parent-teacher conference is going on longer than expected, and it absolutely has nothing to do with the divorced single dad in front of me that won’t stop flirting. 

 Cons of being a younger teacher. Dads. Lots of them. Some are handsome, but I didn’t become a teacher to be hit on while trying to discuss their child’s grades and curriculum. 

 “Mr. Anderson, your son has been falling behind in class,” I begin. “He’s been on his phone lately and tends to talk over students while they're reading.”

 “I see. I’ll be sure to talk to him about that, Mrs. L /N.”

 I give him a tight smile— “Miss, —” correcting him. “Any other questions? I believe we discussed enough these past ninety minutes.”

  Even though the conferences are expected to last only thirty minutes, max, forty-five . 

 “Apologies thought a woman as attractive as yourself would be married,” he says with a smile that might’ve been charming if I was drunk, but right now—it makes me cringe. 

 I nod. “Well, I appreciate your compliment, Mr. Anderson. If there’s nothing else, then I do have to go-”

 “Dinner?”

 “Excuse me?” I stuttered. 

 He lets out a nervous laugh. “Sorry. That was my failed attempt at asking you out to dinner.”

 And here I thought I almost had him out the door. Like I said, some of the dads are attractive. I can’t deny that about Mr. Anderson. Tall. Smooth skin. Nice smile. Salt and pepper hair action going on. I would say he’s probably in his mid-forties. 

 However, I’m not interested in building a roster full of DILFs to keep in my bucket whenever I need sexual relief. 

 One should suffice.

 “Mr. Anderson, although I’m flattered, it’s best to keep this professional. I don’t want to get involved with my student’s father that way. So, I’ll have to decline.” What a hypocrite I am . “Come, I’ll see you out.”

 He gets up and follows me to the door. The woman in me knows he’s staring at my ass right now, so I turn to my side. And of course, I caught him in action. 

 “Apologies if I made you uncomfortable, Miss L /N.”

 “Apologies accepted. Enjoy the rest of your day,” I tell him, sounding sarcastic as ever. 

 Actually, two bottles of wine are much needed. 

 After two more excruciating hours at school, I eventually made it home. I think to myself one day I’ll leave work before it hits four, but I guess that’s inevitable when you’re an overachieving teacher like me. 

 To prepare myself for the next day, I usually stay later than usual to lay out all my lessons. However, I think it’s time for me to use one weekend to plan a month’s worth of lessons so I can stop staying so late. 

 Isn’t this what I complained to Nanami about? I remembered being tired of him staying after hours or bringing work to our home when all I wanted to do was read a book and lay under him. 

 It seems like his habits grew onto me. 

  The irony. 

 Probably if I had someone to come home to, I wouldn’t be thinking about work after I clocked out. Being single and thirty isn’t the worst thing ever, but I honestly thought I would’ve been settled down by now.

 That was the plan with Nanami. 

 I still can’t believe the nerve he had the other day during brunch. To ask me if we could try again after I already gave him two chances? Like I would ever sacrifice my happiness just so he could get his shit together. 

 My patience is high but not to that extent, and I refuse to wait for anyone to love me properly. I just hated that it had to be that way with Nanami. 

 We felt right together. He loved me. Made me feel beautiful. Extremely kind and gentle with me. I was one of those girlfriends that would “ my boyfriend” people to death because he made me happy. 

 Our way of meeting was such a cliché and it convinced me we were going to last forever. It’s only right to feel that way in a five-year relationship. 

 But after a while, what Nanami and I built became dull. Our relationship felt more like a chore than love between two people. It was transactional in a way that benefited him more than it did me. I didn’t want that anymore. 

 I didn’t want to become a wife and bring a child into the world with the possibility of being a single mother in a marriage. Nanami knew how much I wanted to start a family together, but he chose his principal duties over us. 

 I deeply sigh. “See what happens when you drink wine, Y/N,” whispering to myself. 

 Gosh, I shouldn’t even be drinking on a school night. I check my phone to not only see that it's eight-thirty, but also to be left with no new messages or missed phone calls from…

  Toji . 

 He’s had my number since yesterday, however, I have yet to hear from him. I mean, which is understandable. He works a late night job and has a fifteen-year-old son, so I’m not first of his priorities. Though, it would be nice to hear from him. 

 Thinking about Toji Fushiguro makes me feel like a high school girl who’s excited that her crush finally notices her. His gruffness, demeanor, how he carries himself. . . It’s different. I’ve had my fair share of relationships in the past before Nanami, but I’ve never come across a man like Toji. 

 At least, I don’t think so.

 A complete stranger Toji is to me yet the comfort he gives me is weird. Weird in a good way. I can only imagine how it’ll be the more we learn about each other. That’s if he doesn’t back out. 

 Only time will tell. 

 It’s time for me to go to sleep. If I stay up any longer, I’ll finish this bottle of wine and throw my mind into a frenzy for the rest of the night. But the minute I slipped into bed, my phone rang. 

 A number that I’m not familiar with calls me and I’m left to believe it’s only one person.

 “Hello?” 

 “. . . Hey .” I know that voice from anywhere. Deep, soothing, and spreads chills across my body. 

 “Mr. Fushiguro. Calling me after school hours? I’m not on the clock, you know?” I tease. 

 He chuckles, a little more faint than usual, but still a sound I enjoy hearing. “Remember you saying I can use your number however I please.”

 “I did say that didn’t I?” I can’t help but smile and stay up a few minutes extra to talk to Toji. “What’s up, big guy? You okay?”

  “Sounds like I’m not?”

 “A little.”

 He hums. “ I see. . . How was your day? ”

 It’s clear there’s something on Toji’s mind, but I’ll listen to him when he’s ready. 

 “It was… long. Draining,” I answer. “I was close to pulling my hair out.”

 “ Want to talk about it? ”

 I sit up in my bed.  “It’s just work being work. Not much to say that won’t cause you to get tired of hearing me talk.”

 The laugh he lets out this time has a little more life in it. “ I called you to hear you talk. . . Your voice is calming. ”

  He says things like this and expects me not to feel warm inside?

 “You need some calming?” I query. 

 “. . . Maybe .” 

 “Tell me, Toji.”

 I can only picture Toji staring into nowhere to see if he wants to open up to me or not. Whatever he shares, I’ll take it and offer my comfort. 

 He sighs. “ Was trying to have small talk with the kid about school and I guess that annoyed him. ”

 “What did he say?” I asked, knitting my brows together. 

 “ That he wanted to eat in silence, so he went to his room. ” 

 “He’ll come around.”

 Toji snorts. “ Yeah, I hope so. Took him school shopping earlier and he didn’t even want to be seen with me. ”

 “Did he tell you that?”

 “. . . No, I just assumed .”

 Although Toji isn’t physically here, I give him a reassuring smile like he could see me. “Assumptions will lead you to spiral. Next time try to be around him while keeping a comfortable distance,” I tell him. “I doubt it’s because he doesn’t want to be seen with you. I mean, Megumi is an exact replica of your face. It’s not like he can hide that you’re his dad.”

 “ You’re good with your words, Y/N. ”

 “I’m good at a lot of things, Mr. Fushiguro.” My tone came off way more suggestive than I expected but fuck it. I’ll blame the wine. 

 It’s like I can hear the smile on his face. “ You can’t say shit like that while calling me Mr. Fushiguro and expect me not to get turned on. ”

 “And what if that was my intention? Maybe to help get your mind off of things?”

 “ I can think of other ways for you to help. ”

 “You called me for some late night action?” I begin baiting. “What’s next? You’re going to ask me what I’m wearing?”

 “. . .  No... Well, if you want to share- ”

 I giggle, cutting him off. “Toji, anyways.” Hearing Toji genuinely laugh makes me feel better because I know how much mending his relationship with Megumi means to him. “I think you should continue with what you’re doing. I don’t know much about Megumi, but he seems like a kid that has to warm up. Even if you’re his dad, after years of neglect, comfort isn’t automatic because you’re blood. When he feels it, you’ll know.”

 “You’re right.”

 “Your mind feels cleared?” I try to contain my yawn, but it slips outs. I don’t want Toji to think he’s keeping me up because hearing from was actually the highlight of my day.

 “ After this walk and talking to you? Yeah. ” 

 “Don’t think it’s too late for you to be walking?” 

 “ Worried about me, Y/N? ” He asks, and I can hear the playfulness in his tone.

 I shrug. “Maybe. You’re a big boy, though. I’m sure you can take care of yourself.”

 “ I’m glad you know. ”

 I admire the comfortable silence Toji and I have sometimes whenever we talk. In a way, and hopefully he feels the same, it’s like we’re soaking in each other’s energy. And maybe Toji does feel the same since he decided to call when he needed help clearing his mind. 

 “ I’m keeping you up, Miss L /N? ”

 “Hm, I don’t mind giving you some of my time,” I pick on. “Just next time, schedule a conference.”

 He keeps the banter, saying, “ I’ll be sure to do that. . . I’ll let you go, though. Need your energy saved for Friday. ”

 “You’re going to put me to work on our date?”

 “ You’ll see, ” he says, smiling. “ And Y/N? ”

 I yawn again. “Yeah?”

 “ Thank you. ” An explanation of his admission isn’t needed. I know exactly why he’s thanking me. “ Night .”

 “Good night, big guy.”

 After we disconnect, I smile and internally feel giddy inside. It’s almost embarrassing how Toji makes me feel. I can’t help myself. 

 Going to sleep will be easier these next few days knowing I have something to look forward to on Friday. 

 As I described before, Toji Fushiguro will definitely be a beautiful catalyst that I’m excited to see. 

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

discussion question #4 — reader has made it clear that she doesn't want to reconcile any romantic relationship with nanami anymore, do you think he will become an issue to reader and toji's developing relationship as the story progresses?

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 11:

‘Cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"I’ll be back at the end of January, you’ll have almost 6 weeks! And I want you to keep everything in mind. Do your exercises, mediation, eat the right stuff. And really eat it, I want that blood test regularly. But above all, speak to your family, to Charles. Tell them the truth, Liz. Maybe not everything. But at least some parts. Okay?" JK said and I nodded.

"I will, I promise! And thank you, really JK! Without you I never would’ve made it this far!" I said and hugged him "Enjoy your time at home! Have a safe trip! And send some pictures!"

"I will Liz! Go now, I don’t want you to catch a cold! Oh and don’t forget to schedule your appointments with Christian!" he ushered me inside and with one last smile I walked through the door and quietly closed it behind me. It was quiet in the house. Given the early time, no wonder. I took my shoes off and rolled my suitcase to the side. I inhaled deeply, it smelled like pine wood, cinnamon, orange and ginger bread. The typical smell of Christmas at home. The house was beautifully decorated, Mum went all out, probably because the Leclercs were coming as well. I walked upstairs into my room. I missed it. They kept everything the way it was when I was leaving. Just that Mum changed the bedding. I opened my closet, grabbed one of Charles' oversized hoodies and a pair of leggins and made my way into the bathroom, trying to make as little sound as possible. I quickly washed myself a little and changed into my fresh clothes. Back in my room I decided to lay down for a bit, it was only 5:30 in the morning, until everyone was awake it would take a while. Just as I snuggled into the bed, I heard a car outside, it sounded like whoever it was, was driving really slow down the street, as to not wake anyone up, but I knew the sound of that engine all to well and as the car stopped seemingly in front of our house, I was sure. Charles.

I sat up and looked out of my window and there he was, parking in our driveway, engine off, lights out and head leaned back into the headrest. But it didn’t look like he would get out. I waited for another 5 minutes but Charles didn’t move. Was he going to sleep in the car? I quietly walked down the stairs, put on some boots, unlocked the front door and walked out into the cold. Straight to Charles' car, he didn’t see me coming, eyes closed, so I gently knocked on his window and he jumped up. I smirked at him and he unlocked the car, but before he could get out, I walked around the car and got into the passenger seat. Silence. Charles looked at me. I looked ahead.

"Ma belle, I am so sorry! Please, believe me when I say that it wasn’t easy at all, reading your messages and not answering them immediately! Please, please, please believe me! My heart almost broke every time I received a new text! JK said it’s the best for you and I would’ve done everything to help you! Please believe me!" he said and I slowly turned to him, his eyes glassy, he hesitated as he reached for my hand but I didn’t pull it away and he gently grabbed it "I’m so sorry!" his voice was hoarse and he looked at me, pleading.

"But why didn’t you text me after I told you that I knew about it? After I told you that you hurt me?" I whispered, looking at my hand in his.

"What? No… no! I did! Immediately as I got the message I answered you! Told you how hard it was to ignore you! That it broke my heart and that I’m so incredibly sorry! I sent it right before we took off!" he said hastily and I looked up at him "As soon as I was able to switch on my phone again in Bahrain, I checked it for an answer from you, but there was nothing… so I thought you were ghosting me now, not that I didn’t deserve it… but still. I thought it was your decision to answer me again whenever you feel ready!"

"I didn’t receive it…" I said and Charles looked at me confused. "I sent you the text and waited for an explanation, but you didn’t reply… I thought that it was maybe because of…" I began but Charles was frantically looking through his phone as he paled visibly, he looked up at me "What?"

"The message… it’s not sent… it didn’t get through…" he whispered and looked at me guilty "I am so sorry, ma belle! I’m just so, so sorry!" he shook his head and looked down in his lap. I sighed and leaned back, putting the seatbelt on "What are you doing?"

"You know Dad’s rules! When you come back home early in the morning on a Sunday…" I began and Charles chuckled.

"… make sure to stop at a bakery for fresh bread rolls and pretzels!" he finished the sentence and put his seatbelt on as well "But it’s not even 6? You think they’re open already?"

"Most of them open at 6, we should be good. Now come on, I’ll guide you!" I said and he started the engine "Oh damn, we should’ve taken my car!"

"I’m not driving in your Mini! Nope, way too small!" he complained and backed out of the driveway.

"Oh come on! You love him!" I chuckled and Charles sighed.

"I never understood why you and Seb had to give your cars names! They’re cars!" he mumbled as I signaled him to make a left turn.

"You asked Arthur if he hurt your girl, when he nudged me and I bumped into your car only a little!" I laughed and Charles blushed a little "Turn left here. Alright look, they're just opening up!"

20 minutes later we walked quietly into the open kitchen and were greeted with a huge Christmas tree, beautifully decorated.

"Wow, Mum really went all out!" I whispered and Charles smiled "Come on, let’s set the table and prepare as much as possible, then head to bed for a little sleep."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" he saluted mockingly and I rolled my eyes. We set the table, put the paper bags with the fresh baked goods into a basket. And quietly walked up into my room, at the door Charles stopped.

"What?" I asked him and he shrugged a little.

"You didn’t want to share a bed with me for months… I can sleep in the guest room?" he answered a little shyly. I grabbed his hand and pulled him through my door and closed it behind us.

"Your mum will get the guest room, Enzo and Arthur will get the office and you are stuck with me. But yeah, you’re right… it’s still not okay… so umm, take the sofa? Maybe?" I said and nodded to the sofa in the corner.

"Yeah, that’ll do…" he answered and I opened my closet and took out a linen sheet, a pillow and a blanket, then I spread the sheet over the sofa and placed the pillow and blanket on it.

"Alright, I still have some clothes from you here…" I nodded to the side of the closet with some of his clothes and he nodded, then picked out a gray t-shirt and black sweatpants.

"I’ll get my suitcase later. And I’ll carry yours upstairs as well…" he said and turned around and changed. No matter how many times I saw Charles’ naked back, it always made me hot. His thick neck, wide shoulders, strong back muscles and slim waist. As he turned around I blushed a little and cleared my throat.

"That would be amazing, thank you Charles!" I mumbled and climbed into my bed "Now come on! I’d say until everyone is awake, we have at least 2 or 3 hours of sleep we could get." I snuggled into my pillows and blankets and Charles did the same. After a while I chuckled.

"What?" Charles mumbled and I saw his head slightly turn into my direction.

"Why are you here so early and did you seriously plan on sleeping in the car?" I asked.

"I left Maranello kinda in a rush and well… yeah it was too early to ring the doorbell!" he chuckled, although he sounded nervous somehow.

"Oh Charlie bear, have you forgotten that you don’t need a key for the door? Only your finger print!" I laughed and Charles sighed.

"Oh damn… yeah I kinda forgot about that!" he laughed as well "But yeah, it would be kinda weird just getting in here when everyone’s asleep and I don’t know…"

"You know that that wouldn’t be a problem!" I yawned and closed my eyes.

"Yeah maybe, now sleep! You’re tired…" he whispered and before I could say anything I was fast asleep.

I woke up from Charles' phone constantly buzzing, a minute later he began to stir.

"Who would call this early on a Sunday morning?" he groaned and took his phone "What?" he answered it harshly "Oh, hi, umm yeah I arrived. You what? No, no that’s not okay! No! Camille? I told you… no! There is no space! I told you I’d be in Monaco on the 30th and then… no… ugh Camille, please it’s way too early for this now! I will call you later! Cancel that flight. I’m not discussing this with you. If you board the flight, good luck finding a way back home, I’m not picking you up… you don’t know where Lizzie lives. I’m done with this. I will call you later. No. No. Good… bye." he sounded mad and his French was almost too fast for me to understand. I looked at him and waited for him to talk, but he just pulled the blanket over his head and groaned loudly.

"You know, you could’ve just invited her? I would’ve slept at Sissy’s pull out sofa and you and Camille could’ve had my room? Mum and Dad would surely be okay…" I began but Charles pulled the blanket away.

"Absolutely not! This is Christmas! Our Christmas! And she… she’s not a part of the family! And we wanted to have a family Christmas! I didn’t invite her for a reason!" Charles looked at me and I just nodded "I want to spend time with you and not her… I haven’t seen you for more than a month…"

"Okay, Charlie bear… come on. I think the others are awake!" I nodded and got up, internally thanking him for not inviting her.

As we walked down the stairs I could hear my parents, Sissy and Liam wondering who set up the table.

"That would be us…" I said, walking through the door and they all flinched.

"Lizziiiiieeeee!" Liam shrieked and jumped off the chair and ran straight up to me, but he abruptly stopped in front of me "Hug?" he almost whispered and I bent down, hoisting him up in my arms and he giggled as he buried his face in the crook of my neck "I missed you sooooo much!" he whispered and I kissed his cheek.

"I missed you too!" I said.

"I missed you three!" Charles behind me said and Liam looked up.

"Charlie!!!" he almost jumped out of my arms, straight into Charles, who happily hugged him tight "I missed you too, Charlie!"

"When did you guys arrive?" Dad asked and hugged me. "It’s so good to see you, this healthy and strong little owl!" he whispered and then he kissed my temple.

"I don’t know? Around 4, half past 4 JK dropped me off and not even an hour later Charles arrived!" I answered and hugged Mum, who had tears in her eyes.

"Oh my beautiful girl. Look at you!" she sobbed and I laughed.

"Why are you crying? I’m good! More than good!" I laughed and she just shook her head and kissed my cheek.

"The last time we saw you, you couldn’t walk without crutches, you idiot!" Sissy laughed and hugged me. I rolled my eyes and looked at Charles, who still held Liam in his arms, hugging Mum and Dad, then Sissy.

"We thought you were coming with the rest this afternoon." Dad said to Charles.

"Yeah well, I decided to drive straight here from Maranello instead of home and then flying." Charles shrugged his shoulders and Dad nodded.

"At least you followed the rules." Sissy laughed and pointed at the paper bags from the bakery.

"We knew, we’d be in trouble if not." Charles laughed and tickled Liam a little "What’s going on, Bubba? You turned into a little monkey?"

"He, umm he’s a little sad…" Sissy whispered and I looked at her "So his nursery school had this Christmas party yesterday, but Liam wasn’t allowed to go… he had some trouble with some of the other kids…"

"What did they do?" Charles and I said at the same time and Mum and Dad chuckled, as they grabbed the rest of the food from the fridge.

"He wanted to play with one of the boys, he seemed to like him, they played and all was fine but then the boy wanted them to play with some other kids as well… and yeah he didn’t get along with them and it got a little heated." Sissy explained and Liam only hugged Charles tighter.

"They were mean and I didn’t like them and when the older boy didn’t stop saying mean things to me, I pushed him. He fell and hit his arm and then he cried." Liam whispered.

"What did he say to you?" I asked him but he just shook his head "How much older is he?"

"I’m in the mice group, he’s in the bear group…" he answered and Charles' nose scrunched up adorably.

"What does that mean?" he asked, confused .

"Kids in the mice group are the youngest, 1.5-3 years old, cheetahs are between 3 and 4.5 and bears are around 4.5 to 6 years old." Sissy explained and Charles nodded.

"So one of the older kids picks on him, he defends himself and then he’s not allowed to go to the Christmas party?" I summarised and Liam nodded "That’s unfair!"

"It is what it is…" Sissy said and we sat down, Liam not moving away from Charles.

"I’d say we throw our own bigger and even better Christmas party then!" I said and Charles tickled Liam and he giggled.

"How does that sound, little monkey?" Charles asked and Liam nodded "Then it’s settled."

"That is Chase! He’s the leader of the pups! No Ryder is the leader but Chase also! Because he’s the police dog! And that is Marshall, he’s the firefighter dog! He’s also cool but Chase is my favourite! Oh and that is Rubble, Skye oh oh and Rocky!" Liam was full of enthusiasm when he explained to Charles the different characters in his new favourite show, Paw Patrol, a Christmas edition playing on the tv. Both boys on the sofa, Liam sitting in Charles lap and both cuddled up under a blanket. I was watching them when I helped Mum and Sissy prepare some snacks for the evening, when Pascale, Lorenzo and Arthur arrived.

"He really missed you, both of you… he was talking all the time about you! And how many times did I find him hiding in your room!" my sister told me and I smiled, I missed him as well. Although I loved both of my nephews equally, Liam living here with us since he was born, seeing him almost daily, brought us so much closer than me and Benji, who I only saw every other week, due to the fact that Marcus lived in Munich. And not seeing Liam for more than 3 months was really hard and I was more than happy to be back again.

"I missed him as well, that’s why I plan on spending as much time as possible with him."

"Then go ahead and start now with it. We’re done here and I have to wrap up the last gifts!" Mum said and washed her hands, Sissy nodded and did the same.

"Alright, then I’d say I watch Paw Patrol as well!" I dried my hands off at the towel Mum handed me and walked over to the boys.

"Is there some space left for me?" I asked and Charles held up his arm and I sat next to him, snuggling into his side as Liam stretched his hand out for me to take "So Charles? Who is your favourite?"

Liam looked up at him, awaiting his answer.

"I have to say Chase! He’s a police dog! He has a gun that shoots tennis balls and a net! He is pretty cool!" he answered and Liam nodded enthusiastically "And who is your favourite character?"

"Easy! Ryder, he’s cute!" I laughed and Liam made a disgusted face.

"Eww… he’s only 10!" Charles whispered and I laughed.

"He’s not cute! He’s a fearless leader!" Liam wasn’t happy with my answer "You have to pick a dog!"

"Okay, okay! Who is that? The Husky?" I asked.

"That’s Everest!" Liam explained.

"She’s my favourite because I love Huskies!" I answered and Liam nodded.

"Good choice!" he said and Charles chuckled.

"Very good choice, ma belle!" he said and I just smiled and watched the Paw Patrol save Christmas.

I saw Charles checking his phone, for the tenth time in the last couple of minutes, he tensed up a little and sighed. It seemed like Camille didn’t stop asking him to invite her over. I was about to say something as he gently nudged Liam and sat him down next to him.

"Lizzie, we need to talk… umm alone?" he almost whispered and I looked at him curiously.

"Sure? Everything alright?" I asked and got up, walking to the stairs, but he didn’t answer, he just followed me upstairs.

In my room I sat down on my bed as he was pacing back and forth in front of me.

"Charles? What’s going on?" I asked him and he stopped, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He sat down next to me, taking my hand in his.

"I left Maranello last night in a rush, because I found something out… I was mad, no, furious, but I couldn’t do anything about it…" he began as I got the notification that I received a new email on my phone and he sighed "That email… it’s from Massimo and Mattia… it’s about your involvement in the FDA… they umm… they-"

"They kicked me out." I finished his sentence and he looked up at me.

"How did you know?" his voice was almost a whisper.

"In the first weeks after the accident, they regularly checked in on me. But it got less and less and now they haven’t checked in on me for more than a month… so yeah, I just figured they would kick me out." I answered and looked down.

"I’m so sorry, ma belle! I told them that it’s a mistake and totally unfair but they wouldn’t listen to me…" he said and pulled me in a tight embrace.

"It’s not your fault, Charlie. It’s okay. I will get along without them." I whispered and he nodded.

"And I will help you as much as I can! They will regret kicking you out!" he said and I chuckled.

"Thank you, for telling me, and not finding out through an email!" I said.

"They will post a statement as well…" he groaned and I sighed.

"Didn’t expect anything less from them."

The real party began when the rest of the Leclercs arrived in the evening. After the shock of me being sacked by the FDA, some harsh words from Dad, Lorenzo and Arthur against the FDA and Ferrari and some comforting words from Mum and Pascale we finally all sat together for a long time, playing board games, telling old and new stories, laughing and even singing together. I looked at Charles to see that he was typing away on his phone, looking annoyed.

"What’s going on, Charlie?" I asked him quietly and he sighed.

"Just some people asking me about the FDA thing." he said and put his phone back into his pocket.

"Stop thinking about it, it’s okay!" I reassured him and squeezed his arm. It was not okay, I really thought I could count on their support, but I was clearly wrong. It hurt that they seemed to lost faith in me, but it only motivates me more to show them that they made a huge mistake.

"Come on, Liam, time for bed!" Sissy got up but Liam protested.

"No! I wanna stay up longer! Pleaaaseee Mami!" he whined but she shook her head.

"Little man, you’re already way past your bedtime! Up we go!" she said, mastering her mum voice.

"That is so unfair! What a shit!" he cursed and I almost choked on my tea.

"Liam!" Sissy exclaimed shocked and I had to do my best to not burst into laughter, looking around the table I wasn’t the only one, Dad drinking hastily from his beer, Lorenzo doing the same with his wine, Arthur fake yawning covering his mouth with his hand, Charles just tried really hard to look as normal as possible.

"What? It’s a shit!" Liam said again and got up, I let out a mix between laughter, coughing and clearing my throat.

"Stop saying that!" Sissy reprimanded him but he just rolled his eyes and I lost it, bursting out laughing "You’re the worst!" Sissy looked at me disapprovingly. But as Dad and Arthur broke as well she just sighed "Great. Just great." she shook her head "Say good night to the traitors!"

"Hey! I didn’t do anything!" Charles next to me said, voice so thin from holding his breath so long, Sissy just glared at him before she chuckled herself a little. Liam made it around the table, hugging all of us good night.

"Good night, Bubba. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to say it in Italian and French, so Mami can’t reprimand you again!" I chuckled and kissed his cheek and he giggled.

"I’d say I can help you with that, your Italian isn’t the best!" Charles whispered and Liam hugged him even tighter "Good Night my little monkey!" with a last kiss on his forehead he walked off, taking his mothers outstretched hand.

The next few days we all spent together, playing more board games, cooking together, having a snowball fight as it finally began to snow heavily. It was the day before Christmas Eve, Dad, Lorenzo, Arthur and Liam playing in the garden, competing who made the better snowman. Mum, Pascale and Sissy were out for a last trip of grocery shopping for the next few days and Charles and I stood in the kitchen, baking batch after batch of plain cookies, for us all to decorate later.

"Oh come on! It’s going to be fun! Joris is there, Riccardo and Marta, Antonio is coming as well! A bunch of other people that you know!" Charles said as I rolled out the dough.

"I don’t know Charles… I’m back after such a long time, I don’t want to leave again this fast!" I said and he used the different cookie cutters.

"It’s just for 6 days and then we’re flying anyway to Thailand! So come on! Please! Not celebrating the new year with you last time felt so wrong!" he said and I scoffed.

"Yeah?" I said and he looked at me with big eyes.

"Yeah! It did! So please! Please! We’re leaving on the 30th and on the 4th we’re already off!" he took my hands in his, smiling at me.

"I’m just… I’m just afraid I am ruining it, if I get sick because of the boat bla bla you know I’m getting dizzy and lightheaded real fast since… so yeah. I don’t know…" I sighed.

"There’s a cabin, just for you, if you feel dizzy or anything just tell me and we go there for you to calm down! I promise!" he almost pleaded and I swallowed hard before I nodded "Is that a yes?"

"Yes! It’s a yes…" I mumbled and he hugged me!

"Thank you so much, ma belle!" he whispered.

"But Charlie, you seriously need to stop calling me that… don’t look at me like that! In front of Camille at least! It probably hurts her, so please stop…" I’ve seen the way she looked at me, sending me death glares, whenever he used it in front of her. I don’t need that on a boat, in the middle of the ocean.

"Ugh, fine! I’ll try my best!" he said and I nodded thankfully, one reason less for her to be nasty to me, hopefully she will be busy with her friends and will ignore me. Being on a boat with her made me more than anxious. I was deep in my thoughts as the timer reminded us of the current tray full of cookies in the oven. I walked over and looked at them, then opened the door deciding they’re done and grabbing the tray without thinking.

"Lizzie! Oven mitts!" Charles shouted, but before I could register it I already touched the tray and hissed in pain.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed and flinched. Fingertips of my index and middle finger burning like crazy, throbbing pain erupting. Charles was next to me in an instant, grabbed the tray with oven mitts and put it next to the oven on the counter, then closed the oven and turned back around to me. He gently pulled me to the sink, holding my burned fingers under the cold water stream. I let out a small whimper when the stream hit my fingers and held my breath.

"Breathing, ma belle." Charles whispered and I nodded. He walked over to the fridge and rummaged around in it, then opened the cabinet next to it and pulled out a box putting his collectibles on the countertop of the kitchen island.

"Alright, let me see." he stepped next to me and looked at my fingertips, both sporting an angry red burn mark. He switched the water off and gently patted my fingertips dry with a towel, he nudged my shoulder and I followed him to the kitchen island, where he pushed me gently against it and then grabbed my thighs and lifted me up to sit on it. He proceeded to pad dry my fingers until they were completely dry and then unscrewed the top of the burn ointment tube, gently applied a generous amount of the cooling and soothing gel on my fingers. I took a deep breath at the immediate pain relief, some stray tears were escaping my eyes. Charles searched through the box, looking for some band aids, after he found the needed sizes he took my hand in his, carefully bandaging the burnt fingers. As he was done, he looked up at me and wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"Does it feel better?" he asked quietly and I nodded.

"Yeah, thank you, Charlie!" I sniffled and he helped me down the counter, pulling me into him, he kissed my temple.

"Always, Lizzie, always!" he whispered against my head and we stood like this for a while, breathing each other in, as we heard the screen door opening, we jumped a little, bringing some space between us. I turned away from Charles, feeling my cheeks blush.

We later all sat around the table decorating our cookies with icing, different sprinkles and other toppings. Due to my bandaged fingers I couldn’t do the icing how I wanted it too, but just sitting here, surrounded by my family, laughing and joking, decorating cookies, brought me so much joy. To think how only 3 months ago I thought I’d probably never be happy again. Unbelievable.

The next day, we decided to make a trip to the old karting track, visiting Hans who was excited to see us again. The boys all geared up for some laps and Liam wanted to join in.

"You’re a little too young to drive alone, but you can ride a few laps with me!" Charles said and he was overly excited.

Dad and I stood at the side, watching the boys have fun, breezing past us, but driving very carefully due to Liam who was sitting between Charles legs. He steered the kart at some slow corners, Charles teaching him exactly when and how to turn.

"You’ll be driving one in no time, you’ll see!" Dad whispered next to me as he pulled me into his side, after seeing my eyes well up a little. I only nodded, throat too tight to speak. I didn’t expect coming here would be so emotional, but it was.

"I really hope so, Dad!" I mumbled and he only chuckled.

"Lizzie, you can walk almost perfectly again, you even could carry Liam around. Give it some more time and you’ll be back!" he said confidently and I nodded.

"You’re right. I’ll be back!" I said determined and cheered as Charles and Liam crossed the finish line first.

Back home we all prepared for dinner and in typical German tradition we were exchanging presents shortly after. As we were unpacking them, a lot of hugs and kisses and laughter and thank yous were exchanged. Later we all sat cuddled up on the sofa, watching Home Alone with a cup of hot chocolate and some of our cookies. The perfect Christmas.

As the 30th came closer and closer my anxiety of meeting Camille again began to get bigger with each minute, as it felt and I was thinking about chicken out. But I knew that Charles wouldn’t believe me when I would say that being on a yacht was my biggest concern. He would want to know the real reason and I told myself I’ll talk to him after our holiday. First I wanted to spend some good quality time with him, before I had to break to him that his girlfriend was one of the main reasons for my crippling anxiety. I just had to get over one evening with her. On a boat. I could surely avoid her, right? I could do that.

"What am I wearing on a yacht on New Year's Eve, Shima?" I asked her as I was packing and needed help with my outfit.

"What do you got?" she asked and I walked over to my closet "And do you have a dress code?"

"Charles said not to over the top… that helps totally… not! So I asked what he’s wearing and he said Jeans and button down shirt. I checked in with Marta and she said she would maybe wear a casual, but nice dress. Classy but not to over the top… Why can’t Monegasque people be a bit more precise!" I groaned and I heard Shima’s chuckling through the speaker "Not funny!"

"Okay, so dress or no dress?" Shima asked.

"No dress." I answered and she was quiet for a moment.

"Ouuuuhhh! I have an idea! The jumpsuit! The black one! It’s classy, elegant but not to over the top!" Shima said and I thought for a second.

"My sister has it, wait I gotta go to hers. I need to see if it still fits me!" I said and walked downstairs to the door into the little mud room between kitchen and garage where I took the stairs up into my sisters loft.

"Where’s the rest of the fam?" Shima asked as I walked through the loft into my sister's bedroom.

"They’re not at home, the mums are shopping, the boys are karting." I answered

"Why didn’t you go with them? Too tough?" she asked empathically.

"Yup, it wasn’t easy last week so a no for today!" I sighed "Wait, I’ll try it on and send you a selfie…"

"What’s the verdict? Good enough? Not too casual? Not too over the top?" I asked nervously

"Approved! Lizzie, giiirl! You look so damn good! What shoes? Hair and make-up?" she asked and I laughed.

"I don’t know? Probably just leave my hairs open? Little bit curled? Well make-up wise, like always? Just a little eyeliner and maybe some nude lipstick? As for shoes… you know I don’t mind heels but I don’t think that I can walk in them right now? I thought maybe some sweet, flat sandals?" I thought out loud, thinking about how everything looked together. With Camille there I didn’t want to look like I didn’t care about my looks. I just didn’t want to give her more reasons to pick on me, which I was sure she would do.

"Sounds good! No really Lizzie, you’ll look great! That’s the perfect mix!" she said and I smiled.

"The only thing that bothers me about the jumpsuit is that it has like a cut out on the back? And I’m scared that it will slip a little when I’m moving and show my… my… you know…" I said quietly.

"Lizzie! With all due respect, you should wear these scars with pride! They show how strong you are! They should only remind you that you almost died but you’re still here! Against all odds! ! You should wear them like a shield!" she said with a strong voice.

"You’re right! Thanks!" I had the best friends.

Charles POV:

Lorenzo and I took the car back to Monaco, Lizzie, Arthur and Mum were flying. The whole ride I thought about the best way to break-up with Camille. I initially planned on doing it after Portimaõ, but she started to talk about New Years Eve and how excited she was. She had the idea of renting a yacht to celebrate with our closest friends months ago, she planned it all by herself and was always so happy and excited when she showed me the newest plans. I just didn’t have the heart to break up with her before that, not after she put so much effort into it. Seeing her this happy made it hard for me to break her heart like this. After all, she didn’t deserve this. So I planned to wait until after New Year's Eve. Let her have this day, let her bask in the moment, she worked so hard for. And then I’ll break her heart. Doesn’t sound much better.

"You’re awfully quiet." Lorenzo said after a long while of silence and I swallowed hard.

"Yeah, a lot is going on in my head…" I sighed and he chuckled.

"Camille?" he asked and I looked at him "Oh come on, I’m your brother! I know what’s going on in your head. At least some of it."

"You do? Then help me sort it out…" I said and he laughed.

"I can’t tell you what to do, Charles." he looked at me "But you’re smart, you figure it out."

"I already have… it’s just… I don’t want to hurt her." I said hesitantly.

"Who? Camille?" he asked and I nodded.

"Who else?" I replied.

"Maybe you’re not that smart…" he said under his breath and I looked at him "Why do you think you will hurt Camille?"

"Because I’m going to break up with her… after New Years, I’ll have her over and explain everything to her.." I answered.

"Smart boy…" he chuckled.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes.

I just had to get New Years over with, let her have a day or two to relax afterwards and then have a conversation with her, I could do that. But I dreaded it. So much.

I felt dizzy, it probably wasn’t the best idea coming onto a yacht in my condition, but I promised it to Charles and now I couldn’t chicken out anymore. Big mistake. The constant whispers from Camille and her friends, the swaying of the yacht, it all was too much. I needed my medics and I needed them now. I got up from the lounger and walked to the stairs as I heard Camille and her friends talking downstairs, probably sitting in the lounge. I quietly walked down the stairs.

"Oh come on, why is she always hanging around him! Like she has no one else to talk to? And did you see her back? The scars? Eww! I would never ever again walk around in clothes so you could see it! Disgusting!" Camille sounded annoyed and I quietly sneaked away, almost bumping into Joris. He looked at me with sad eyes, and I knew he had heard what Camille and her friends said about me, but I just sent him my best fake smile and walked away. I quickly walked past Camille, trying to get into the cabin without being noticed.

"There you are, ma belle!" Charles almost yelled and I saw out of the corner of my eyes how Camille glared at me. He was drunk. I’ve never seen him this drunk before.

"Charles, I thought we talked about this… stop calling me that when your girlfriend is around!" I said it quietly and he only shrugged his shoulders.

"But you’re ma belle! And that’s your name! I always call you that? What am I supposed to say?" he asked and his confused look was just too adorable.

"My name, Lizzie. Remember?" I laughed and he shook his head.

"Lizzie is only for the others! But for me it’s ma belle! Because you are the most beautiful girl! And you are my girl! So you are ma belle!" he explained and I blushed. I could hear Camille scoff behind me and a glass breaking "Camille is just…" he began but I put my hand above his mouth.

"Stop talking, you’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying!" I fake laughed and walked away, I nodded at Riccardo who understood and looked after Charles. I went back into the cabin, looking for my bag with my medics. I saw that I had a text from Arthur, but before I could check it, I dropped my meds and when I bent down to pick them up I was getting light headed, the dizziness only worsened. The throbbing pain in my temple was back again. I quickly sat down and took a deep breath. My brain began to fog up and I got up to go outside and get some fresh air. As I was holding on to the railing I heard steps coming towards me.

"Look who it is, ma belle!" Camille mocked and her three girlfriends just laughed "I mean I know that you’re not really the most stylish person, but still? Couldn’t you at least put some effort in your appearance?" their laughs were shrill and way too loud for my head and I wanted to walk away. For the first time in weeks my brain started to fog up to the point where I had to really focus on my speaking in order to get the words out correctly.

"Look Camille, I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I don’t have time for this now, sorry!" I said and Camille and her little flock started cackling.

"I’m sorry? I’m not speaking gibberish?" Camille laughed and I looked at her, heat rising in my cheeks. Focusing didn’t seem to work.

"Just leave me alone! Please! I don’t know why you always try to pick a fight with me!" again they only laughed harder.

"Oh no, poor little Lizzie's head is all mushy again! Maybe your little accident damaged your brain a little more than they thought?" Camille sneered and I walked back into the cabin, then I realised the tears streaming down my face. I grabbed my phone and sent a text to Arthur.

I packed my belongings into my bag, sat down on the couch and waited. Through the windows I could see that we were on our way back to the harbour. I closed my eyes. Only a couple of minutes and I could leave this god damn yacht and Camille and her entourage of mean girls. Every now and then a tear slipped down my cheeks. As we docked in the harbour I got up and grabbed my bag, I wanted to walk out as Charles walked in.

"Hey ma belle, I was looking for you? You looked a bit pale…" he began but then he realised the bag on my shoulder and my tear stained face and in an instant he cradled my face in his hands "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I’m just tired, Charlie. It wasn’t a good idea going on a yacht in my condition! You celebrate and have fun! Spend some time with Camille, I’ll be fine!" I said and pushed away from him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and started walking away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Ma belle, what is going on? I know you and it’s not your condition? You were doing so well the last few weeks! What happened? Where are you going?" he said, his voice stern, but I just tore my wrist out of his grasp and shook my head.

"I’m fine, Charles. It’s ok!" I whispered and left quickly. He stood there dumbfounded for a moment then he followed me.

"Ma belle? Lizzie?" he almost shouted it, his voice was laced with worry but also sounded a bit hurt and I only walked faster. Camille just grinned at me, her friends were laughing as I walked fast past them to the gangway that was set up by the deckhands. Joris looked at them furious.

"Lizzie, wait!" Charles sounded nearer this time but he was stopped by Camille, he wanted to push her away as Arthur appeared at the dock "What is Arthur doing here?"

I walked as fast as possible without falling in the water over the gangway, where Arthur grabbed my bag and held me to his side to steady me, everything started to spin and the pain in my head rose to a new high.

He opened the passenger door and helped me in, then walked around and got into the driver seat. I could see how Charles was furiously talking to Camille and Joris, hands flying through the air, always pointing in our direction.

"Are you sure you’re okay?" Arthur asked and I nodded, silent tears streaming down my face.

"Just drive home…" I whispered and Arthur started the car. For the first time in weeks I felt like this again, the throbbing pain in my temples, the impeded speech, shaky legs, problems to breathe properly, almost a full blown anxiety attack. And all because of Camille. Maybe I had to talk to Charles sooner rather than later.

Charles POV:

"What do you want to hear from me? She texted and asked if I could come pick her up and I did just that!" Arthur was furious.

"Why didn’t you call me? You could’ve told me that she was unwell and then I would take care of her!" I was even more furious.

"Charles, she wanted to leave the boat! End of the story! She didn’t want to stay there and celebrate with you!" he almost sounded annoyed.

"What’s that supposed to mean? She didn’t want to celebrate with me?" I asked him confused "She rather wanted to celebrate with you? At home? Alone?"

"Yes. Happy now?" he answered and sat back down on his sofa.

"Okay, what is going on here? Are you and Lizzie…? What about Clara?" it couldn’t be. Arthur and Lizzie?

"For fucks sake, Charles! My girlfriend isn’t the one who constantly dragged her down for the past year!" Arthur almost shouted it and glared angry at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked him as I try to stay calm and Arthur hid his face in his hands and groaned "Arthur, what the fuck do you mean?”

"I’m not supposed to tell you this! But come on, Charles? You’re telling me that you not only once realised how Camille treated Lizzie? How she glared at her, all her snarky remarks? How could you be so oblivious?" Arthur asked me and I sat down and leaned back, thinking about his words.

Camille was sometimes annoyed when I spent my down time with Lizzie instead of her, but she always said she understood? Although last year Lizzie and I didn’t spend much time together considering Covid first and then her accident. When she moved in with me to start with her recovery, Camille didn’t have a problem with it. Or did I just ignore her complaints? The more I thought about it, the more I realised that whenever I mentioned Lizzie Camille tried to change the topic immediately, tried to always keep us busy so I didn’t have much time to spend with Lizzie and not even once asked how she was after her accident. Arthur was right, how could I be so oblivious? I facepalmed myself and sighed.

"I am stupid…" I mumbled and Arthur only nodded.

"I’m not arguing with you on that, but Charles? Don’t you think it’s time that you tell Lizzie that you lo…" Arthur began but he got interrupted by a sound coming from the guest bedroom, the one Lizzie currently slept in "I think you should leave for now, you need to sort out your shit with Camille first, before you talk to Lizzie, she cried herself to sleep last night, she will pretend like she didn’t but I heard her."

"Take care of her!" I whispered and Arthur hugged me.

"Of course!" he said and I left, taking my phone out of my pocket. I texted Camille to meet me at my place in an hour, then I called Joris. He never liked Camille, I needed to know if it was because of Lizzie.

"I want to know everything." I said and Joris just groaned.

"She’ll kill me if I tell you…" Joris began but I cut him off.

"I don’t give a fuck, right now I should be your concern, because if you’re not telling me what I’ve been missing for a whole damn year, I’m the one coming for you!" I said.

"She was awful to Lizzie, always saying things to her that Lizzie’s just a friend of yours, that she is now the most important person in your life, that Lizzie should start to understand that your priorities are now on her and that Lizzie is not important anymore. She even got that far telling Lizzie to give you guys some more space and sent her away from, to quote her, "our flat"… like she would live there with you! And after Lizzies accident she and her bitchy friends always made fun of her when she needed a little longer to speak or when she couldn’t walk normally in the beginning… and the things they said about her back?! The scars? It was awful…" he said and with every word he spoke I felt sicker and sicker, I was trembling, anger surging through me.

"And why the fuck did no one tell me? Why did Lizzie tell you but never me?" I was furious.

"Because Lizzie didn’t tell us those things! I heard it! I saw it! We all did at some point! Camille never did those things when you were close by! But we all witnessed it! Do you remember your birthday? How Riccardo left in the middle of it out of nowhere? That was because of Camille! She was horrible towards Lizzie! Her friends commented on that video that someone took of her on your boat. Not nice things. And he was so fed up that he wanted to tell you, but Lizzie pleaded with him to not to so he agreed, but he was so mad that he had to leave otherwise he would’ve called her out in front of everyone! We all wanted to tell you more than once, Charles! But Lizzie… she thought that Camille made you this happy and she didn’t want to ruin your relationship!" Joris explained and I felt the bile rise up my throat.

"You still should’ve said something!" I almost shouted, I was mad and letting it out at Joris wasn’t fair but I had to let it out. I couldn’t hold it in.

"I wouldn’t have to say anything if you weren’t so fucking blind! And if she wasn’t so blind! You weren’t happy because of Camille! You were happy because of Lizzie! Not Camille! How could you even start dating her? When you clearly love Lizzie! You really thought your plan would work out? You will forget about your feelings for Lizzie because of Camille? The only thing you did with that was hurting Lizzie! You have no idea how many times Lizzie cried last year because of you! She tried everything to not ruin your birthday when you did just that back on her birthday! Not just that you came fucking late, no you ignored her for most of the night, you weren’t even singing with us and then you left earlier because of Camille but you didn’t even say goodbye to Lizzie! You fucking left her alone on her birthday! You know how much she hates celebrating it! You have no idea how many times I… no we had to see her heartbroken expression when you were faking being happy with Camille and Lizzie believed it! Just for you to not man up and confess your feelings to Lizzie! If you want to be mad at someone, then it’s you first and Camille second!" Joris got up and left.

I sat there dumbfounded. But after a while I had to admit, everything he said was right. Now it was time to finally do the right thing.

"You never gave us a real chance because of her, that wasn’t fair! I was always good to you!" she didn’t sound sad, more mad, disappointed and annoyed.

"You’re right. It wasn’t fair. And I can’t apologise enough for letting it come this far. But what you did Camille? Your friends did? What you said? The entire last year? Nothing of this was her fault! It was all me. I messed up and I know it. I’m sorry for hurting you, I really am." the only one to blame was me. I should’ve never even started this relationship in the first place.

"I didn’t mean what I was saying Charles, it was only a joke, yes I know, a bad one. But it’s always her, her, her! I guess I had to let it out at one point!" she defends and I sigh.

"Yeah, but then you should’ve let it all out on me. Not on her, after everything she’s been through! And it was more than a joke Camille! You were horrible to her the entire time! I was just too blind to see it! And that is entirely my fault! Because I was the one who was in a relationship with you even tho I’m not…" I stopped and Camille’s look changed.

"Go on, say it…" she said and I sighed.

"The time we spent together, how you always supported me although I didn’t deserve it, I can’t thank you enough for it, Camille… but I was never in love with you. I’m sorry… you deserve someone who is in love with you and not someone who’s just with you because it feels nice and content, because he can’t stay alone." I said it and she nodded.

"It was always her, right. I never had a chance, did I." it wasn’t a question.

"I wanted it not to be her, that’s why I gave us a chance in the first place, I was trying everything to bury the feelings that I had, no, that I have, for her… but you’re right, it was always her… it will always be her…" I answered and Camille smiled a little.

"Then do yourself a favour and tell her." and with that she got up and walked to the door. "Goodbye, Charles." and she was gone.

I didn’t know how long I sat there, thinking about what she said "Do yourself a favour and tell her", she was right. I had to tell Lizzie that I am in love with her, only her. But I couldn’t do it now, not after I just broke up with Camille, she couldn’t think that she was just a rebound. I needed to take my time, show her every day a bit more that I love her, because Camille was right, it was always her. And I was right as well, it always will be her. I flinched when my phone pinged, a message from Lizzie. Rather than texting back I called her.

"Ma belle."

"Hey Charlie, how are you?" she sounded nervous.

"I just broke up with Camille…" silence.

"I’m sorry." she sounded sincere.

"Don’t be. It’s better like this. There was too much baggage. Too much going the wrong way for too long."

"You still loved her…"

"No, I loved the fact of having a girlfriend, having someone by my side."

"Hmm, ok. Are you good? Do you want to be alone? Or do you want to come over? We’re ordering food and watching a movie…"

"I’ll be there in 20 minutes."

"See you then, Charlie bear."

"See you, ma belle." she hung up. I love you.

"Are you crazy? Who’s going to eat all of that?" Arthur looked at me with big eyes as I walked back from the door, 2 pizza boxes, 3 pasta dishes and 3 salad boxes already on the table, and now another big bag full of Indian and Chinese food as well.

"When you said you’d order something from everything, I didn’t think you would mean it quite literally?!" Carla chuckled and I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Charles is coming over as well…" I said and walked into the kitchen to get some cutlery, plates and glasses "Come on Arthi, the drinks won’t walk on their own!"

"So is it just him? Or is she coming as well… after yesterday? Do you really think it’s a good idea?" Arthur whispered and I sighed.

"He will probably tell you himself, so you know from nothing. He broke up with Camille, as of today…" I said quietly and Arthur’s smirk was getting bigger and bigger "Stop! He’s probably heartbro…"

"How can he be heartbroken when he never loved her!" Arthur mumbled and walked out the kitchen. Why was he saying that? Charles said the same? What do they know that I didn’t? The doorbell rang and I shook the thought out of my head and walked back into the living room and set everything down. Charles straight up walked to me and hugged me tight.

"Hey ma belle!" he whispered into my ear and I got goosebumps all over my body.

"Hey Charlie bear… are you okay?" I whispered back and he nodded.

"Very much… thank you!" he answered and took my hand in his, sat down and pulled me down right next to him.

"Is Camille coming as well?" Carla asked and I tensed up a little.

"No, she’s not coming, she’ll never come over again, to be honest. We broke up." Charles said and played with our intertwined fingers.

"Oh, thank god!" Carla let out and blushed immediately "I mean… oh god, I’m sorry! She’s a nice girl! Totally! I’m just- I’m just… umm…"

"It’s okay. I know what you mean. It’s better like this. She wasn’t the… let’s just say she wasn’t the right one." Charles said and Arthur chuckled.

"Yeah, I’m sure you’ll find the right one…" he said, voice oozing with sarcasm. I kicked his leg and he just chuckled even more "So, what are we watching?"

After a long discussion we settled for Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone and as we were all cuddled up on the sofa with plates full of food the film started and a pleasant silence fell over the room.

Charles POV:

"No, it’s alright. I’ll carry her to bed." I whispered and Carla gently tugged the blanket away. I got up carefully with Lizzie in my arms and Arthur walked in front of us, opening the door to his guest bedroom, switching on the light on the nightstand.

"You’ll stay here, right?" Arthur asked and I laid Lizzie down.

"Umm… should I?" I said quietly and he only nodded.

"Wait a minute…" he said and walked away before he came back with a t-shirt and some sweatpants "Good night, Char." he walked away but then turned around "You know that she loves you? And you love her? So whatever you’re doing, don’t hurt her again…" then he left.

I quickly changed into his spare clothes, went into the bathroom and washed myself as good as possible. Rinsed my mouth and walked back into the guest room, then I quietly closed the door and laid down next to Lizzie. I switched off the light and fell asleep almost immediately.

I stirred around, then groaned before laying on my side as I heard a little giggle.

"Hi, Charlie bear…" Lizzie’s voice was a little hoarse and she yawned.

"Hi, ma belle… I missed this…" I sighed and opened my eyes, looking into hers "Waking up from you rolling around to find a comfortable position again to sleep a little longer. And then your little giggle when you realise you woke me up…"

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it’s just that I was cold all of a sudden and no matter how I laid, it didn’t seem to warm up again…" she chuckled and I pulled her into me. Cuddling her body close to mine.

"Better?" I mumbled and closed my eyes again.

"Better." she whispered breathlessly and we laid like this for a while, before I decided to address the elephant in the room.

"Why didn’t you tell me? All the things that Camille did?" I whispered and Lizzie tensed up, breathing in audibly.

"She seemed to make you happy. You seemed to love her. That was all that mattered to me." she answered and my heart broke.

"She made you sick Lizzie, she was making you feel so anxious that your body reacted in the worst kind of way… my happiness wasn’t as important as your health!" I groaned but she just shook her head.

"No, Charles, that’s where you’re wrong. Your happiness is the most important thing for me! After everything you’ve been through, you deserved some happiness, so when I had to suffer because of it I did it and I would do it all over again…" she said and I held her even tighter in my arms.

"Nothing is more important than you, ma belle! You hear me? God, Lizzie! You’re the most important person in my life! I’m sorry for not seeing what she was doing, how she treated you, god I will never forgive myself for being so blind and oblivious!" I whispered but she shook her head again.

"Charles, you didn’t do anything wrong! There is nothing to forgive yourself! You loved her and she made you happy. Period." she sighed but now I shook my head.

"I never loved her. Not even in the slightest, I just liked having someone around. I hate being alone. I just can’t do it. But you had your own worries, then the accident, the recovery. Camille was convenient. And she was nice and sweet when it was just us. But, I never loved her. I know I sound like the biggest asshole on earth right now. But it’s the truth…" I said and Lizzie looked up at me with her big eyes, contemplating her next words.

"With any other girl I would say yes you’re an asshole, a huge one! But because it’s her? I’d say you’re just a teeny, tiny one, like this…" she laughed and pinched her thumb and pointer finger close together, almost touching.

"I think I can live with that." I answered and laughed as well.

"So what happens now? You’re officially on the market again! Single ladies of Monaco beware!" Lizzie laughed even more but I just shook my head and she stopped and looked at me.

"Nope. I’m not jumping into the next best relationship just because I don’t want to be alone. I’m waiting for the right girl to come around. However long it takes." I said and looked her determined in the eyes. She swallowed loudly and chuckled nervously.

"Yeah… however long it takes…" she answered and I smiled at her.

I will wait however long it takes for her to realise that for me it has always been her. And that she will be the only one I will have by my side ever again.

"That sounds really cold, Charles! You should reconsider that… I don’t want people to think that you’re an asshole!" I sighed but Charles only shook his head.

"I don’t care. We didn’t make any lasting memories, the texts she sent me the last few days showed me her true colours, she’s already out there planning a vacation with some other dude, 2 days after our break-up, saying he always treats her right… in these 2 days or what? And she said, to quote her, now she can finally live her life the way she wanted again." he said and I had to stop myself from laughing.

"Okay. Do whatever you want then." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"It’s posted. Water under the bridge." Charles said and I smiled at him.

Bye Camille…

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 11 is out - Ding Dong, the Bitch is dead gone 🙌

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

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[cha-melodius]

Hi friend! Congrats again on 100 works! Thank you for offering to write more for us! ❤️I'd like to request 1. firstprince and 2. Kensington as an AU, but only because you dared us to! Alternatively, if someone already requested that and you don't want to duplicate, I'd be interested in a hockey AU set inside the rink! Thank you again, I am so excited to see what you come up with and to read more of your words!

(Thank you so much for taking my bait lol, I've wanted to write this canon-divergence AU where they hook up in Kensington during the damage control trip for a while now. I hope you enjoy!)

Falling Down the Stairs of Your Smile

(firstprince, 4.1k, M; read it below or on AO3) read all the fandom fest fics

It wasn’t supposed to go like this. They were supposed to finish up at the hospital, and then Henry would go back to whatever the fuck he does while Alex went to the airstrip. He’d fly back to DC, so that maybe he’d be able to get some schoolwork done before Monday, and try to forget that this ridiculous weekend ever happened—barring the fact that he and Henry were still obligated to keep up the fake friendship for a few more months, that is.

Instead, Cash comes up to him as they stand outside of Kensington with a slightly grim look on his face and says, “Change of plans.”

“Huh?”

“They discovered an issue with the plane during the flight prep. It needs some part that they’re not going to be able to get until tomorrow morning. We’ll leave then.”

“What do you mean, they can’t get it? Why not?” Alex demands. Surely in a country with fucking royalty, nothing is out of grasp for said royals and their guests.

Cash shrugs. “Didn’t ask. The palace confirmed you can stay another night.”

Alex groans probably a little too dramatically. “What about my classes?”

“I am, in fact, very aware of your class schedule,” Cash says dryly. “You’ll be back in time.”

“I don’t have another change of clothes.”

“Pretty sure Kensington has laundry.”

“I’m really not getting out of this, am I?”

“Nope.”

Alex sighs and looks over to where Henry is standing with Shaan by the front gates. There’s a look of trepidation on his face, no doubt because he’s just been told that he’ll have to deal with Alex for another night. Of course, that’s not a given. Henry will probably disappear into his apartments and ignore him, which suits Alex fine. They may have reached a kind of détente today, but they’re not friends.

“Sorry to hear about your plane,” Henry says as they get back into the car that will drive them further into the palace.

Alex shrugs. “It’s fine. I guess I’ll have to survive the hardship of ten thousand thread count sheets another night.”

Henry huffs a little laugh and grins. It’s kind of amazing how different he looks when he smiles for real. “I know you’ve probably had your fill of me today, so feel free to say no, but…” He hesitates a moment, as if waiting for Alex to shut him down before he even makes his proposal. “I was thinking of ordering in curry for dinner tonight. There’s a place not far away that’s quite good. Maybe watch a film?”

It’s pretty much the last thing Alex expected him to say. He wonders if this is another olive branch, an acknowledgement that it’ll be easier to pretend they’re friends if they’re actually… kinda friends. Surprisingly, Alex doesn’t hate the idea.

“What movie?” he counters.

“Well, I would suggest one of the Star Wars films, but I’m not sure we could agree on one.”

“If we’re not going to watch the best one, aka Empire—”

“You mean Return of the Jedi,” Henry interjects.

“—I guess that leaves the next best.”

“So, Rogue One?”

Alex grins. “Ok, maybe we can be friends, after all.”

He’s absolutely not letting himself think about the warmth that grows in his chest when Henry laughs.

~~~~~

Alex discovers that there’s a room in Kensington that’s pretty much as tricked out as you can get without being in a movie theater—“There’s an actual theater in Buckingham,” Henry tells him, “but Dad had this put in for family film nights”—with a massive screen and a killer sound system. They eat their curry out of take-out containers on a surprisingly comfortable, normal couch as the movie plays, keeping up a running commentary between them that ranges from Star Wars lore to the cast (“Come on, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t follow Diego Luna anywhere. Look at him!” Alex insists, which garners him a strange look from Henry) to random things entirely unconnected to the movie.

Turns out Henry is actually really funny, which is a fucking shock and kind of annoying except for how he leaves Alex in stitches several times. It’s absurdly easy between them in a way that it shouldn’t be, and Alex can’t remember the last time he had this much fun just hanging out with someone. And it’s Henry. What is his life, even.

“I can’t believe you like this one,” Alex says as they watch Jyn and Cassian embrace desperately on the beach. “It’s pretty much the opposite of a happy ending. For the main characters, at least.”

Henry hums, tipping his head slightly. “They give up everything in the service of a cause bigger than themselves, and they succeed. There’s something beautiful about that.”

“God, you are a sap,” Alex teases, bumping his shoulder up against Henry’s. Somehow they’ve managed to migrate closer on the couch over the course of the movie, until they’re practically touching.

“And why do you like it, then?” Henry counters. “The action and spies and intrigue?”

“Not only that,” Alex says. “But there’s a reason I’m a big Bond fan.”

A smile flickers across Henry’s face that’s a little melancholy but mostly contented. “I suppose that makes sense given what I know of your movie tastes now.”

“Also, your dad was a total babe.”

Henry’s eyes go wide as he chokes on a laugh. “I beg you to not.”

They lapse into silence as the final scenes as the credits start to roll. The movie is over and it’s getting late, but all Alex can think of is that he really doesn’t want the night to end yet. Which is crazy. Twenty-four hours ago Alex was actively cursing this man’s name, and now he seemingly can’t get enough of spending time with him. It doesn’t make any sense, but somehow it does; it’s the same feeling that he was chasing all those years ago in Rio, the one that pushed him to go up an introduce himself at exactly the wrong time, the one that made the hurt of that encounter linger for so long in his psyche.

“Hey, uh,” he says eventually, turning slightly to look at Henry, “thanks for suggesting this. It was fun.”

“I hope it made up for being stuck in London longer than you wanted,” Henry replies, his voice low and soft.

“Definitely.”

Henry smiles, a warm and pleased one that stretches his lips and crinkles the corners of his eyes, and Alex feels like he’s being pulled in by the magnetism of it. He wants to get closer, despite how close they’re already sitting. His fingers twitch with the urge to touch—the soft blond hair falling over Henry’s forehead, the sharp cut of his cheekbones, the fullness of his lips. He’s always known Henry was objectively good-looking, but Jesus, where does he get off being so pretty? It’s annoying, really.

Alex isn’t trying to make things weird, but he also can’t quite help the way his eyes are drawn inexorably down to those plush lips, still curved in a gentle smile. Who even has lips like that, does he get fillers or something, because they can’t be real, except they look very, very real, Alex hasn’t even ever kissed any girls with lips that nice, that look that soft—

Something short circuits in Alex’s brain and he just— has to know. How soft they really are. Before he even knows what he’s doing, he’s leaning in and pressing his lips to Henry’s, which are, as it turns out, extremely soft. It only lasts for a second before his brain comes back online and he realizes Henry’s frozen stiff, which is fair, because Alex has no fucking clue what he’s doing. He hasn’t kissed a boy since Liam and this was not the fucking boy to just kiss out of nowhere. He’s gonna get, like, locked in the Tower of London or something.

He wrenches away as quickly as he leaned in, meeting Henry’s wide, stunned eyes (—still so so blue, how can they be that blue—), his lips slightly parted and just a little damp from Alex’s.

“Shit,” Alex breathes in a rush. “Fucking shit— I don’t know why I did that, I’m so sorry, Henry, I didn’t mean anything by it—”

“Alex,” Henry murmurs, but Alex is too far gone in his spiral at this point.

“—I promise, it was just— I mean, I’m not even—”

“Alex.”

Alex stops in the middle of a word, his mouth hanging open. Henry’s got some kind of strange look on his face that he can’t parse at all.

“Did it really not mean anything?” he asks slowly.

The thing is, Alex has no idea what it means. Absolutely none. Something inside him—something he doesn’t really understand—wanted to do it, but like, just as an objective experiment. Except that part of him wants to do it again, even though he already got his answer. Really wants Henry to kiss him back. Which is making him feel a little insane.

Alex closes his mouth, licks his lips, and swallows hard.

“That depends,” he says cautiously, “on what you want it to mean.”

For some reason, that makes Henry growl in frustration and cast his eyes to the ceiling. Then he groans, “Christ, Alex, you’re so—”, grabs Alex’s face between both hands, and kisses him soundly.

Alex’s insides go positively molten. Henry’s hands are gripping his jaw, and in his hair, and Alex can’t help but press closer. His own hands find Henry’s narrow waist, reveling in the dip of it, the heat of his body scorching through the thin fabric of his shirt, and the only thing currently occupying Alex’s mind is a desperate urge to feel bare skin under his palms. That is, until Henry slides his tongue along Alex’s lower lip, sucks it into his mouth and tugs on it with his teeth, and Alex stops thinking altogether.

Their positions are a little awkward, twisted toward each other on the couch as they are, and Alex isn’t sure if he pulls or Henry pushes—or maybe both—but a moment later Henry is unfolding his long legs and shifting to straddle Alex’s lap, which is both incredible and incredibly overwhelming. Especially when Henry’s hips rock forward and Alex can feel his growing arousal pressing into the rapidly tightening region of Alex’s pants.

Jesus, this is— it’s— it’s a lot, but the very last thing Alex wants to happen is for it to stop.

He absolutely does not whimper when Henry pulls back, sending Alex unconsciously chasing after his lips. Fortunately, Henry doesn’t go far. He presses their foreheads together, breathing raggedly into the space between them as his thumb swipes across Alex’s cheek.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Henry breathes, and yeah, Alex had no fucking clue.

His mind is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and he has no idea what to say to that besides: “Fuck.”

Henry chuckles softly, nudging their noses together. “Indeed.” He presses a soft kiss to Alex’s lips, then another to the corner of his mouth and one to the edge of his jaw. “Do you want to… go somewhere we won’t be interrupted?” he murmurs into Alex’s ear, and his warm breath combined with the words makes Alex tremble under him.

Alex swallows hard as his hands tighten on Henry’s hips, but he hesitates a moment too long because then Henry is actually pulling back, a concerned expression creasing his brow.

“Which is not to say— we don’t have to do anything more if you don’t want— I just thought—”

“I want to,” Alex blurts, surprising even himself. He’s not entirely sure what more means to Henry, but he knows he wants it. Jesus, does he want. “Yes. Fuck. Let’s do that.”

Henry grins, wide and nearly blinding in its brilliance, and Alex thinks he would do just about anything to see that smile on his face always.

They clamber off the couch, adjusting themselves with shared, knowing giggles, then Henry grabs his hand and tugs Alex through formal, stuffy corridors lined with portraits and antiques, which just adds a certain something to the absurdity of the whole situation. Somehow it’s not a surprise that Henry’s apartments are just as impersonal and opulent as the rest of the palace, full of hideous floral wallpaper and baroque furniture. Before, he’d have put that on Henry himself, but now it feels wrong despite the fact that Alex still barely knows him. It feels like he knows enough. Henry eats curry on the couch and cracks crude jokes and sniffles at the tragic endings of Star Wars movies (yes, Alex noticed). Henry is warm and soft and feels like he belongs in cozy, simple rooms full of old books and tea and cardigans.

Alex’s musings are cut off when Henry pulls him close again at the foot of the hideous gilt monstrosity that is his bed, wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist and tugging him into a lingering kiss. It’s softer than before, delicate and sweet, exactly like Alex would imagine Prince Charming would kiss. From this angle Alex has to tip his head up to kiss him, which is definitely not something he ever thought would do it for him, and yet. Henry’s evening stubble scratches against his chin, and broad hands grip onto his hips and pull him against the hard, flat planes of Henry’s chest, all of it constantly reminding him of the unmistakable masculinity of the person he’s currently making out with.

Alex thinks, distantly, that he should probably be freaking out about this a bit more, but it’s too easy to give himself over it in the moment. He can freak out about what whatever the fuck it means later.

Henry’s hands move to the front of Alex’s shirt, and his nimble fingers make short work of the buttons before pushing it backwards off Alex’s shoulders. His fingers leave trails of fire where they linger against Alex’s bare skin, and even just this has Alex moaning into the kiss, desperate for more. He tugs at Henry’s shirt, yanking the tails out of his pants and nearly tearing the buttons open in his haste, which makes Henry laugh at him, the bastard.

“Eager, are we?” Henry teases, and Alex bites the grin right off his face.

“Shut all the way up,” he huffs before sinking his teeth into the absolutely irresistible collarbone he’s just uncovered.

Henry sucks in a gratifying breath at that, his hands tightening on Alex’s waist, and then he’s manhandling Alex back onto the mattress, which has no business being as hot as it is. Alex kicks off his shoes before scrabbling backwards so that he’s lying against the pillows, his heart racing as Henry crawls up over him with a nearly predatory grin on his face. The way his body fully blankets Alex’s is overwhelming in the best way, making every part of Alex ache with the need to somehow be closer, even as Henry presses the their bodies together from knee to chest and captures Alex’s lips in another deep, probing kiss.

They kiss and kiss until Alex’s lips are almost numb from it, their hands roving over heated skin and through thoroughly mussed hair. Henry’s hips roll slowly against him, almost a question, and Alex groans when he feels the hardness of Henry’s cock pushing against his hip. His own is straining against the front of his trousers, and his breath shudders in his chest when he imagines what it would feel like to have Henry’s hands wrapped around him.

But—

“Hey, uh,” he breathes as Henry’s mouth moves to his neck, and he’s nearly driven to distraction by the feeling of Henry’s teeth scraping lightly over his pulse point, but he wants to get this out, “I’ve never actually—” His voice fails, and Henry pulls back just enough to look him in the eye. Alex swallows. “Done this. With a guy. I mean, kinda, but not really—” He lets out a frustrated huff. “It’s a long story.”

Henry stares at him so intensely and earnestly that Alex feels flayed open by it, like Henry can see all the parts of him that Alex himself didn’t know were there. “We can just do this,” he says as he pushes a curl back from Alex’s forehead. “The last thing I want is to push you into something you’re not comfortable with.”

It’s completely reasonable not to rush things, but Alex thinks if he leaves London without seeing Henry naked he might fucking expire.

“Did I not already fucking say I wanted it?” he retorts, a little testily. Better that than admitting how desperate he really is.

“Well, to be fair, we didn’t exactly specify—”

“I want you naked,” Alex breathes in a rush. “I want your hands on me. Your mouth, if— if that’s something you want.”

Henry’s gaze goes dark and hot, and he actually licks his lips. Alex’s dick twitches in his pants. Jesus Christ.

Henry dips back down to kiss his neck, but a moment later he answers. “That,” he says, pressing it into Alex’s skin as he kisses a path down his chest, “is something I very much want.”

Then Henry’s hands are at his waistband, making short work of his belt and peeling off his underwear and pants in one go, and everything goes very, very hazy after that in the absolute best possible way.

~~~~~

The room is quiet after they subside, after every ounce of pleasure has been wrung from their bodies, after shouted names ease into murmured endearments.

“I should go,” Alex eventually whispers into the stillness, because he should. It would be better if he spent the night in his own rooms. Safer.

He doesn’t want to, though. He doesn’t want to be alone with his thoughts right now, doesn’t want to give his brain the space to run wild with this. That’s what will happen if he goes. He’ll fall into a research spiral on google, and text Nora even though it’s too late, and quietly freak out about everything that’s happened tonight. Here, though, Henry’s got an arm thrown over his waist, and it’s not much, but the weight of it soothes something within him. Keeps him grounded.

Maybe it’s just Henry that settles him. He doesn’t want to think too hard about that.

“You could stay,” Henry murmurs back. He leans in, presses a kiss to the outside of Alex’s shoulder. “No one will notice. Tomorrow’s Sunday. The staff come in late.”

This is a terrible idea. This can’t be… anything, really, given who they are. Alex doesn’t even know what he wants it to be, but he knows that.

“You sure?” Alex asks anyway.

“Stay,” Henry repeats.

So Alex stays.

~~~~~

The bed Alex wakes up in is unfamiliar, which is hardly surprising given his travel schedule lately. What is unexpected is that he’s naked, and there’s a warm, naked body pressed against his back, and abruptly all of what he got up to the previous night comes slamming back into vivid clarity.

He slept with the fucking prince. Henry. His nemesis, except not actually, apparently, and oh yes, definitely also a dude. Alex sucked his dick and most definitely enjoyed the experience, so that’s a whole new thing. The freakout about his sexuality that he shoved to the back of his mind last night rockets to the forefront now, and he can feel his breath stutter in his chest.

Except then Henry’s arm tightens around him and he presses a sleepy kiss to the back of Alex’s shoulder, and the tightness in his chest unclenches somewhat. Not all the way, but enough.

He fumbles for his watch, then jolts up to sitting with a new fear once he sees the time. Jesus Christ, Cash or Amy is going to show up at his bedroom any minute now to pick him up so they can leave, and Alex isn’t fucking there. This is a disaster.

Henry grumbles at being disrupted, sleepily rubbing at his eyes in a way that’s definitely not adorable at all. “Time is it?” he mumbles through a yawn.

“Late,” Alex huffs, briefly getting tangled in the sheets and nearly falling out of the bed in his haste to find his clothing.

He’s halfway into his pants when there’s a knock at Henry’s bedroom door, and he almost falls on his face again. That seems to wake Henry up a bit more, and he finally sits up, his hair standing up in all directions and his eyes gone wide.

“Yes?” Henry calls out.

“The Secret Service seem to have misplaced their charge,” comes Shaan’s voice through the door, and Alex would very much like to die right now. Henry stumbles out of bed, throwing on a robe, then opens the door just enough so that Alex isn’t visible. “I told them I would inquire with you to see if you had any idea of Mr. Claremont-Diaz’s whereabouts.”

There’s something very knowing in Shaan’s tone, like he’s perfectly aware of where Alex spent the night and furthermore none of this is exactly a surprise to him, and Alex only barely manages to hold back the extensive collection of curses crowding at the tip of his tongue. What the actual fuck.

“Ah,” Henry says. His cheeks are bright pink. “Just a moment, I’m sure I can help you locate him.”

“I’m not sure I’ve properly conveyed how agitated they are, sir.”

“Tell them I’m ok,” Alex sighs begrudgingly, stepping into view now that his shirt and pants are on. It’s not like he’s kidding anyone; he’s still barefoot in Henry’s bedroom and the bed that two people clearly slept in is fully visible from where Shaan is standing. “I just—”

Shaan holds up a hand. “Believe me when I say that you do not need to finish that sentence. I will deliver the message, but”—he pauses, glancing between them—“you probably shouldn’t linger.”

He pulls the door closed behind him as he goes and, despite the warning, Alex stands there for a minute, rooted in place and staring at the floor. Maybe Shaan doesn’t want an explanation, but the Secret Service certainly will. Fuck.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Henry says quietly, suddenly close beside him. Alex hadn’t heard him approach. He still looks so soft and sleep-rumpled, and something tugs at Alex’s chest that absolutely should not be tugging. “I shouldn’t have talked you into staying here.”

Alex huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “I didn’t take much convincing,” he says. “I shoulda just set a fucking alarm.”

“Probably,” Henry agrees, his lips tipping into a wry smile that fades into a look of concern. “Are you… ok?”

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I be?” he answers, probably a little too quickly. Henry just stares at him in that way that makes Alex feel entirely too seen. “Probably gonna get chewed out for disappearing, but it wouldn’t be the first time.”

“That’s not exactly what I was talking about.”

Alex swallows. “I’m fine.” He offers Henry a little smile. “This was fun.”

“It certainly was,” Henry agrees carefully.

“Where’s your phone? I’ll give you my number, it’ll be easier to plan joint appearances or whatever,” Alex says in a blatant attempt to divert from a discussion about what happened or what this makes them. He’s got to figure his own shit out first. He doesn’t need Henry to know that he’s already wondering when he can arrange his schedule to see him again.

Henry gives him a look, but he fetches his phone and hands it over to Alex with a blank contact page open. Alex types in his number and hands it back.

“I’ll be disappointed if you only use that for booty calls,” he jokes.

Henry sputters out a laugh. “Noted.”

He’s endearingly pink-cheeked and smiling, and Alex doesn’t think before he takes the last step that puts him in Henry’s personal space, grabs the fronts of Henry’s robe, and pulls him into a kiss.

If he’d had any lingering doubts about the previous night, about whether what he’d felt was real or not, this thoroughly dispels them. The press of Henry’s lips to his, the way their mouths slot together as easily as if they’ve been doing this for years, the zip of electricity that fizzles under his skin and spreads out to tingle in the tips of his fingers and toes… Alex has never been kissed like this, has never felt like this being kissed, and it’s exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

Like he’s falling.

Oh. Fuck.

[thedragonboi]

I am simultaneously in an ADHD-Autism alliance and an ADHD-Autism rivalry and I’ve never been more hyperaware of someone’s autism because I don’t want to just interpret their behaviours as “ew, annoying” and make them suffer further social isolation because of something out of their control. But at the same time, unlike my other autistic friends who understand I’m also neurodivergent just in a different way, he refuses to understand or be lenient with my neurodivergent behaviours.

No matter what I do or how I try to explain it to them, they keep ignoring/not understanding me. And I know autism makes social cues harder to understand but please this man is 23 and I’ve explained my boundaries and outlooks and ADHD behaviours non stop for MONTHS and I’m so close to killing him because he doesn’t understand and instead of taking that at face value and leaving me alone to avoid conflict he fucking keeps INSTIGATING.

I make a repetitive sound to keep myself focused and grounded? “Stop doing that”. Ok I’ll stop for a little while, maybe sensory issues. I’m loosing focus in class but conflict avoided. I go sit further away to do it again next class and try and focus. He moves to sit near me. “Stop that”. Huh???? You purposely sat next to the adhd student who ground’s themselves by making repetitive noises. I just move back to my original seat cause I can see better. If it’s genuinely that bad please wear your earbuds, I know you have them I’ve seen you wearing them.

Study session. I’m fiddling with the notebook while I wait for him to answer the exam question. “Stop that”. Ok, I’ll fiddle with the pen to focus instead. “Stop that”. Jesus fucking Christ what AM I allowed to do to keep myself grounded and focused??? Go study with someone else at this point.

Jesus fucking Christ this cretin refuses to give me peace.

He followed me on my walk home once.

No, not once a couple times. But I just remember the last time really vividly because he kept bringing up movies who’s subject matter I don’t like interacting with (I forget the movie titles but he said they’re about war and genocide and historical events where people were subjugated and abused by colonialism). I kept trying to change the subject to movies that I enjoyed but he kept FUCKING PUTTING ME DOWN CAUSE THEYRE NOT THE MATURE ADULT SAD EMOTION MEDIA.

FUCK YOU. I was walking home by myself, 2 minutes away from school. He sees me minding my business and comes up to me. Weird but ok, probably doesn’t understand the social boundary. Forgivable if uncomfortable. He brings up a subject matter I’m sensitive about. I try and change the conversation politely because, again, probably just doesn’t understand the social cues I’m trying to send. He REFUSES to let me change the subject matter and then you’re fucking SHOCKED when I get upset????

While that’s just one incident he does other things which just feel extremely mean spirited? Maybe they’re not but I genuinely don’t know how to get him to shut up about it.

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where I reward myself for small accomplishments by giving myself affirmations. It’s been great for my mental health so far. Just calling myself smart or cool whenever I get a question right in class or a good assignment/test score. I’ve been consistently getting good grades (I never used to before) so I’ve been saying/giving myself positive affirmations a lot more than usual. But he’s taken offence to it or something?????

Whenever I try and answer a question in class and I get it wrong he fucking pipes up and goes “not so smart are you?” so smugly. Genuinely actually shut the fuck up before I commit bodily harm against you. And so far I’ve been trying to rationalise his behaviour as not understanding social cues but this kind of behaviour is genuinely unacceptable. Like it’s one thing to not understand boundaries but it’s another to butt in the middle of class and call someone not smart.

But like…sometimes when people or even the fucking teacher pipes up and goes “hey maybe don’t do that” he responds with “sorry, autism, don’t really understand social cues” and like…no one in class is a psychiatrist so we can’t comment on it but I want so badly to just yell at him that there’s a point where your behaviour isn’t exclusively the autism and that you’re a 23 year old adult who is ultimately responsible for your own actions.

I think my experiences and friendships with other autistic people just makes it more obvious to me that his actions aren’t sourced from autism but don’t think I have it in me to just internalise and admit to myself that I’ve been dealing with my boundaries and feelings constantly being ignored while he insists we’re friends.

There’s a point where the amount of times he says we’re friends after crossing a boundary feels like gaslighting. Doing something a friend shouldn’t do, or at least apologise for if they do, and then immediately saying “it’s ok, because we’re friends” and I just sit there in silence to keep the peace. Gaslighting probably isn’t the right word but idk any other description for this behaviour

[clumsiestgiantess]

Ok, I caved. Here’s chapter ten, I love it too much to hold out on it.

all chapters linked here

[What could go wrong?]

Eleven months into friendshiphood, I woke up ecstatic.  It felt like the day I started visiting the other-world, happily oblivious of what was to come.  I practically counted down every minute, straightening out the last few details of my plan.  This included preparing a backpack for myself, where I stored a few things for both me and Erica.  School was out and I had invited her on a picnic to celebrate and spend the whole day together.  Once it was finally time, I jumped into the other-world, almost forgetting to make myself invisible in my excitement.  Just like so many times before, I nearly ran all the way to the cliffside that held Erica's mansion before realizing that I was probably causing tremors.  After a fast walk to the cliffside, I slowed down a few feet away.  Though it was more likely about a mile away to anyone else.  

Erica was already there when I got to the base of the cliff, where I’d told her we should meet.  The roof of her convertible had been taken down to enjoy the early summer weather.  Like clockwork, Erica seemed to sense I had arrived, despite my invisibility.  Invisibility!  Wait!  I was supposed to show Erica the way there!  I came to a stop next to Erica's car and knelt beside it, rapidly searching for a workaround to my dilemma.  "Forget that you have to stay invisible during the day?" Erica asked after I'd been silent for a while.  "I don't need to see you to know that you haven't thought this through."  "I have," I quipped, "I just.. I realized that I can't show you the way there invisibly.  I kind of assumed that it wouldn't matter because I could just tell you where to go."  She looked confusedly up in the direction of my bodiless voice.  "You can't just tell me now?"  "I could," I answered, "but I don't travel by car here, so I don't exactly know how to drive there."  Erica groaned, "Seriously?  You're the worst at planning things ahead of time."

We both sat in thought, trying to find a solution to my slight oversight.  How could I have overlooked this? I thought angrily.  I've been preparing all morning, all week even!  Finally, Erica let out a long, antagonized sigh.  She grudgingly got out of her car and stood in front of me, arms crossed.  "Do you have any pockets?" Erica asked, irritated.  "Umm, yes?  Why?"  "I can't believe I'm doing this," she grumbled, "but I- I do trust you, now."  She took a shaking breath, "I'll just..  I’ll ride with you."  

"Ride with..?"  It took me a moment for her suggestion to click.  I looked down at her, astonished.  "You're willing to ride in my pocket!?"  For someone who normally refused to be touched, this was a dramatically large step.  Her refusal, as she often reminded me, was not due to fear, but simply the fact that she wasn’t one for people being in her personal space, regardless of their height.  I wasn’t sure whether or not I believed her, because not only was my mistake on the first night we talked the single most terrifying thing she’d experienced, according to her, but touch is also how I initially control people as well.

Erica cleared her throat, dragging me out of my startled thoughts.  "Don't think for a second that I'll be willing to do this all the time.  I just..  You’ve been a good friend to me, and you’re more reliable than anyone in my world.  I think maybe I should try showing you a bit more trust.  You’ve earned it."  I nodded enthusiastically before realizing she couldn't see me.  “You have no idea how much that means to me,” I told her gently, bending over to see her reaction, “I don’t think I’ve ever told you how ecstatic I get after we part ways, knowing that despite how we met, you still have the heart to allow me to make things up to you.” 

“Heart?” Erica asked sarcastically, “I think you mean stupidity.  It paid off in the end, though.  Now I have a friend who can be almost anywhere and can help with almost everything.”  I sighed, rolling my eyes at Erica’s signature pinch of sarcasm.  “Almost?” I asked her.  She chuckled, “I’ll pay you a million bucks if you can step into my house, or any house for that matter.”  “Ok,” I realized, “I see your point.”  There was only one little thing about our trip to the surprise place I’d picked.  "I do have to stay invisible until we get there, though.  So, you know, don't freak out when it looks like you’re stuck in the middle of the air.  I’ll still be here physically, even though you won’t see me."  "Heh.  No promises."

With every ounce of caution I could muster, I set my hand down palm up in front of Erica.  She watched in open-mouthed silence as the grass in front of her flattened with the weight of my invisible hand.  "Whenever you're ready," I reassured her.  Erica hesitantly lifted a foot to test its surface, then scrambled up on her hands and knees, finding it too difficult to balance while standing.  "This is.. really weird," she observed as she steadied herself, "It looks like I'm sitting on open air, but I can feel this beneath me," Erica gestured to my palm as she spoke.  “This.. This is you.  I’m in the palm of your hand right now, literally,” she realized.  “It just doesn’t feel real.”  She glanced nervously up at me, her expression saying everything without her having to.  “Don’t worry,” I assured her, “I wouldn’t be letting you do this if I didn’t think it was safe.”

When Erica finally settled down, I started to lift myself up.  "Woah!" she yelped; I could feel her weight shift suddenly in my hand.  I froze, concerned.  "I- I'm ok," she said when she noticed I'd stopped moving, "I'm fine, just keep going."  I rose again, slower this time, until I was standing upright.  All the while I could feel Erica's miniature fingers digging into my palm for support.  

Once I stopped rising, she dared to look up.  Hovering a good other-world mile above the treetops, Erica could see the city outlined by the mountains behind it, faded with the clouds and the sheer distance between them and us.  Awestruck by the view, she whispered, "Wow, you can see so much from up here.”  Lifting her death grip, Erica rose to her knees and looked around, fascinated.  

Being my size, you get a pretty bird's eye view of everything.  Sometimes I forget how fascinating it all is from this high up.  I was so used to my relatively giant height that the view was natural to me.  In fact, it was the only way I viewed the other-world.  "That isn't even my full height," I told Erica as I watched her gaze wander.  "My hand’s only held out at chest level.  I guess nice scenery is just one of the many perks of being tall."  Erica sneered, glancing back at where she assumed I was.  "Tall?  I think you're waayy past 'tall', Alexis."  I laughed, easing my racing heart.  It was a surprisingly enthralling experience, and I wasn’t entirely sure if I was excited or nervous.  I mean, there was a whole person sitting in the palm of my hand.

We stood for a moment, Erica admiring the view for a little longer.  "If you want, you can sit out here instead," I offered.  She hesitated, then shook her head, "I'd be too afraid I'd fall off.  Maybe if my ride wasn't invisible, yes, but not now."  I nodded, "Alright then, pocket it is."  Pulling open the pocket of my shorts, I discovered that the interior wasn't invisible like the outside, which made things so much easier.  With my free hand, I held the pocket open, carefully lowering Erica to its edge with the other.  When I stopped moving, she crept over to the side and peered down.  The sensation was so strange, like a hamster or other small thing creeping across my hand, only she was very clearly human.  It was almost ticklish, and I had to bite my lip to keep from gigling; Erica would kill me if I did.  

She eased her way down before dropping to the fabric at the bottom.  Erica turned a slow circle in the small space, then shielded her eyes and looked uneasily up at me.  "You're fine," I reassured her, "Do you really think I'd let you get hurt?"  "Not intentionally," Erica muttered.  "Good."  Now that we were ready for departure, I let the pocket fall closed.  Before leaving, I picked up Erica's car — very lightly so as not to dent it — and placed it back in the driveway so no one would come along and steal it or take it off the side of the road.  Finally, I was ready.  I voted to take the easiest route over the most direct, knowing that the direct route involved jumping over more populated areas.  Thus making the trip longer than I'd accounted for, but it was worth not getting yelled at for being unnecessarily terrifying.

Taking the long way also meant avoiding the cliffs where I was attacked on my first day.  After a slight detour to avoid the site of my past trauma, we finally arrived at a crystal clear lake surrounded on most sides by mountains and forests — the same one I found while venturing around forever ago.  I slung my backpack down on the shore.  It became visible the second I let go of it, and I followed suit.  This was a mostly hidden, out of the way place.  I doubted anyone would see me.  

"We're here," I called as Erica shifted around in my pocket.  "Finally!  Get me out of here, being in this thing sucks!  I couldn't see where we were going the entire time."  "I did ask if you wanted to ride out here," I reminded her.  Erica grumbled something unintelligible and I slipped my hand into my pocket to fish her out.  The tight space made it impossible to let her step onto my palm like she had by the house.  I carefully slid my fingers beside her to lift her up.  Erica flinched at my touch as I carefully hoisted her out, pinched lightly between my thumb and pointer finger.

As I lifted Erica to eye level, I could feel her grip tighten.  Her lighthearted expression rapidly fell apart, eyes growing wide with fear.  Tiny hands gripped my fingers, trying to pull them away from her sides. "P- Put me down."  Her voice trembled, barely audible.  Why is she so scared all of a sudden?  Carefully, I knelt and placed her gently on the ground.  Erica scrambled away, backing off a few steps.  She had a panicked, faraway look in her eyes.  I lay down further, inadvertently trying to make myself seem smaller than I was.  "Did I do something wrong?" I asked hesitantly.  Erica had been quiet for some time, and every silent second worried me.  She'd been gazing out at the woods beyond me, to nowhere in particular.

Erica stilled at my voice; she shook herself as if arousing from thought and turned to face me.  "No, you didn't-  It's my fault.  I- I don't know why I freaked out.  It's.." she took a breath to stop herself from stammering.  "I know you wouldn't hurt me.  I don't know what I was thinking."  Erica turned away again and my heart fell.  Was this because I'd grabbed her that time on the cliff?  I had taken her out of my pocket in a similar way to how I’d picked her up that night.  Her position in my pocket made it hard for me to get her out in any other way; I didn't have much of a choice.  Though she just told me otherwise, I couldn't help thinking this was my fault.  I had likely just reminded her how easily I could put her life in jeopardy again.  

"I shouldn't have brought you here like this," I realized aloud, "I should've just waited to find the road here, what was I thinking?"  I guiltily moved to retrieve my things, deciding to just call off my plans. It no longer seemed like the best time to celebrate.  Erica’s right, I never think ahead.  No, I just never plan for anything to go wrong.  Which is awful because in this world almost anything can go wrong.  I internally cursed myself, angrily reaching for my backpack.  It had been a while since I’d messed up this badly, even with random strangers’ wellbeing — not even Erica’s.

Just as I was about to tell Erica to go and do whatever she liked without me, something light fell over my other hand; the one I was using to prop myself up with.  All of my dark thoughts vanished at once.  I froze midway to my bag and looked back.  Erica had put her hand over mine to stop me.  Her tiny digits barely covered more than an inch of space.  What is she doing?  My chest tightened.  I couldn't even breathe.  Any movement at all might scare her off, and I'd already frightened her just moments ago.  Never before had she purposefully touched me without being coaxed to.  

"It was my choice to do this, remember?" Erica asked uncertainly.  "Don't leave.  Please."  I wasn’t planning on going anywhere; I wouldn’t leave her here alone, but I guess it does look that way. Our eyes met and I tensed, unsure how to react.  My mind went completely blank.  We gazed at each other for a long moment; it went unspoken that she meant what she said, which was baffling to me.  I was so sure Erica would be snide about things, or at least tell me that she’d made a mistake putting that much trust in me.  Maybe she had.

Suddenly, Erica turned away.  With our small connection broken, it was like waking from a daydream.  "Thank you for bringing me here.  This is beautiful," Erica gestured to the lake, taking her hand off mine to do so.  Thus deeming it safe for me to move freely again.  I slowly pulled away from my bag, guilt and regret eating at me from the inside.  

Why would she want me to stay?  I’ve done so many awful things to her.  No amount of little get-togethers can really make up for it.  "I don't deserve this," I blurted out, “I don’t deserve your trust, or this trip.  Not after everything I've done."  My breath hitched on the last few words and Erica looked back at me pityingly, which only wrenched the guilt in my gut tighter.  A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.  "Well.." she began, "even if you don't deserve to be here, I think I do.  And I want you to be here with me."  "Why?" I asked, dejected.  "Only when you practically begged me did I stop controlling people.  You still haven't forgiven me for controlling you.  Don't you hate me?  I know you act all friendly towards me, but…  I don’t know, sometimes I wonder if you just do it to pacify me.  So I won't go back to what I used to do before you showed me otherwise."  

At first Erica seemed a bit taken aback by my question, then she shrugged, glancing away from me.  "Hate is.. a bit too strong of a word for it.  I’m.. I'm a bit resentful, I guess.  But it's not like my life was horrible with you controlling me.  Though I didn't like not having a say in things, you did take care of me pretty well on your own."  Erica mulled over what she said, almost as if she were shocked to hear it from herself.  "And I certainly am not pretending or ‘pacifying’ you," she continued suddenly, "I do mean everything I say to you, both the good stuff and the bad stuff.  When I’m not being sarcastic, that is."  

Soft chirps of birds and frogs filled the otherwise empty silence between us.  Erica, watching my growing downcast expression, motioned for me to come back down, and I lowered myself to her height again.  "I don’t hate you," she assured me, "I want to stay.  I want you to stay with me."  She walked right up to my face and I panicked, my heart pulsing in my neck.  Surely she could hear it being so close.  “Alexis, I forgave you a while ago. I- I guess I never actually told you that. I just need a bit more time getting used to things, that's all."  Erica smiled, "It's not every day you befriend someone who's taller than a building, you know?” 

Erica and I laughed lightly, relieving a bit of the silent tension.  I sat back a little, feeling the slightest bit more relaxed.  “Just stay here, alright?” I nodded.  "So how'd you find this place anyway?" Erica asked me, changing the subject.  "And what's in the backpack?  I didn't even know you had it."  “What, this?” I asked, mocking surprise.  “Well, let’s see here...”  Turning to my bag, I dragged it closer and started unpacking.  My confusing, self-pitying feelings would have to wait until later.  At least my worries about her not being genuine were debunked.

First, I put out a blanket by the lakeside beside me, sized to Erica, not myself.  Then came two meals, each in respective size for both of us.  "You got normal sized stuff for me?" Erica asked, baffled.  I thought about arguing how my things were regular sized and hers were just small, but decided against it.  I only nodded, shoving my empty backpack off to the side.  "This is my special 'please don't be mad at me I was only doing it for your best interests' meal," I explained.  "Ha!  Really?"  Erica came closer and sat on the picnic blanket I'd lay out, examining the food.  "Sandwiches," Erica noted.  "Your 'please don't be mad at me' meal is sandwiches and some soda?"  I shrugged, “It was repurposed.” She took a bite, "How'd you even get it this size?"  "I made a box that will turn things small when I put them in it.  Kind of like the neverending money box I installed in your wall at one point.  Wait.. is it- still there?"  Of course it is, I realized.  The thing was far too valuable to be thrown out somewhere.  Erica shuffled nervously on the blanket and turned to face the lake.  "Yeah..  it's still there.  But in my defense, I haven't done anything stupid with it since the first time I used it."  "At least I taught you something," I mused.  Erica snorted, whether it was in disgust or laughter I couldn't tell.  

There was a pause in our conversation so we could eat without choking trying to talk to each other.  The silence was much more peaceful now.  There was no one around to bother being invisible for either, and I enjoyed not having to hide.  The sky was dotted with a few fluffy clouds, which reflected off the still lake like a giant mirror.  It really was a beautiful day.  

"What's it like in your world?" Erica asked suddenly.  "Is everything ginormous?  How do things work without running out of power?  Everything must take so much energy to run at your size."  I could feel my face scrunch up in thought, quickly scarfIng down the last bit of sandwich.  "Well, everything's bigger in my world.  Not just objects or animals, the whole world is scaled to this size," I stated, holding up my half-drank soda for reference.  "So getting energy is fine, really.  It's not much more of a hassle than it is here for you.  My world is basically yours, just bigger."  "A whole world that big?" Erica whispered.  She was staring out over the water, though her mind seemed to be somewhere else.  "That's kinda terrifying.  I mean, I guess not for you, but for me?  Wow."  "It's probably similar to how I feel in your world," I mused.

Erica turned to look at me, startled, "What?  You're scared of my world?  How?  Everything must seem so small to you."  I nodded, "That's exactly my point.  Everything's so small here!  I'm always scared because I feel like I'm constantly just.. breaking everything I touch.  You saw yourself what happened with the parking garage.  I accidentally demolished the whole back side!  Albeit I was in a lot of pain afterwards, but still.  No one person should be able to cause that much damage accidentally."  "You're telling me," Erica huffed, "I witnessed your destructive tendencies firsthand and nearly shit myself, geez."  I laughed, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.  I really was not planning on flattening that garage.  I've learned my lesson," I said, gesturing to my back.  My cuts were gone now, but I certainly didn't miss them.  “I’ve been a lot better at controlling the property damage I create by walking around.”  “That’s a relief,” Erica chuckled.  

I sat silently for a moment.  “I’m sorry.”  “For destroying stuff?”  “No, for scaring you earlier,” I replied, turning to look down at her.  “Like I said, you mean a lot to me.  When I saw how you reacted.. it felt like my heart dropped right out of my chest.  I would never have hurt you-“  “I know,” Erica interrupted, trying to reassure me.  She slid over to my side and placed her hand on mine, effectively silencing me once again.  “I know.  If that had happened a year ago, I might’ve told you to fuck off or something like that, but now…  Now I understand that you weren’t intentionally picking me up like that, you were just trying to help me out.”  I nodded slowly.  “It’s constricting and overwhelming when you do that, so obviously I freaked out a bit, but I wouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion that you randomly decided to turn on me unless I was a bit disoriented.”  “Sorry,” I repeated, “I’ll be more gentle from now on, I promise.”  Erica’s expression softened into a small smile.  I thought I heard her whispering to herself, but it might’ve just been the wind.

[wyntereyez]

GalaxyCon

I should probably post about GalaxyCon before I forget everything, huh? 

My first day was Saturday and I. Was not prepared. Most of the cons I’ve attended are fandom-specific, and can draw large crowds, but nothing compared to this. According to a news article the next day, there were some 50,000 attendees.

I’d originally only planned to go Saturday, but then Colin’s panel was announced for Sunday, so I got another ticket for then. Saturday was spent beating my way through the crowds (or, more accurate, being beaten) - and getting my photo op with Colin.

It’s been four years since I’d last seen him at Enchanted 2, and damn, he looked amazing. The op was brief, because they do thousands of photos in one day, so I barely had time to do more than say ‘hi’ and ‘thank you.’ He thanked me for coming, and at that point I remembered just how blue his eyes were, and how lovely that Irish brogue is, since it’s currently very thick after being in Ireland for so long. Yup, I still swoon for Colin.

I didn’t get an autograph, but a friend did, and I hung around in line with her until were almost to Colin. His line was so long, it wrapped into the next aisle. I’m not sure the staff anticipated his popularity. And while I was in line, someone told Colin how long his line was, and he gave a little “Yeah!” and put up his arms.

Then we have the Sunday panel. I’m trying to remember as much as I can, but I know I’ll miss things. I’ll put it under a cut, since this is starting to run long.

First of all, kudos to the panel moderator, who helped rephrase questions and guide Colin so he could follow strike rules. That can’t have been easy, so good on GalaxyCon for being prepared and still being able to give us a great panel experience.

Colin was introduced as that actor from That Show, and That Other Show, and That One Movie, etc. At some point, OUAT became ‘The Thing,’ and now I want to embrace that as the show’s alternate title. Also, that would be an awesome crossover.

Anyway... We got a brief introduction, and Colin talked about how hot it was (it had been well over 90 degrees, with a Real Feel of over a hundred, on the day he arrived) and how he’d chosen to wear a suit jacket over his t-shirt and had Regrets.

He apologized for if he was difficult to understand, because he knew how thick his accent was, but someone yelled out they loved it, which he then said was why he brought it up, because he wanted people to say that.

He also said he was doing the panel because he liked having people tell him how great he was, to which the moderator had the entire crowd yell out, “You’re great!”

Then we got to the most bizarre mix of questions I’ve ever heard, and it was wonderful. Things we learned included:

- Colin owns 30 guitars, one of which belonged to Ringo Starr. He has another one that belonged to someone famous, but I can’t remember whom

- If he were a dog breed, he’d be a black Labrador retriever mix

- If he were a comic book superhero (the comic part is very important) he’d want to be Batman. He wanted to be Superman once, but now he wants to be Batman. He earned a blue candy for this, which he promptly put in his mouth with predictable results. Dude, don’t eat candy when you know you’re gonna have questions, LOL.

- Voice acting roles aren’t taboo, so he talked a bit about how different it was to voice Douxie, and how different it was to do dialogue in a booth because he had to be more dynamic rather than speak normally. He also at one point did a bit of Gerry the Leprechaun for us.

- Colin was asked about his feelings on ‘Rise of the Titans.’ He said he enjoyed it, then said he trusted the writers to know what’s best for the characters. I’m not sure if that’s how he really felt, or if he’s just being careful.

- If he were two scoops of ice cream, he’d be pistachio and vanilla - the real vanilla, with the bean.

- He likes pineapple on pizza. He will accept no criticism of this.

- If that one character with the thing on his hand had a dog breed, it would be a black Labrador retriever mix.

- Something he did for The Thing was play INXS’s ‘Need You Tonight’ and did a little strut while wearing the coat. Colin demonstrated. I died.

- When asked what comic villain he would want to be, he said the Joker. This earned him a green candy. He ate it, though he also said he didn’t care for the candy. Colin, why.

- If he could have one mythical creature as a pet, it would be Cerberus. But the heads would be black Labrador retriever mixes. I’m starting to think Colin really loves his dog.

- At one point, Colin said he was having a lot of trouble with this, and that he was worried he’d say the wrong thing. The panel mod assured him that he was doing well. I felt bad for him, because yeah, this can’t have been easy.

- Colin was asked what his most ridiculous phobia is. Colin answered that he fears NOTHING. Except panels.

- When asked if he still talks to people from The Thing, he said a very firm but teasing NO - then proceeded to list a number of people that he does, in fact, talk to.

- Then there’s the beard... at the end of the panel, he said he can’t talk about it, but there’s a reason he has the ‘stupid beard.’ He really doesn’t like it, and it’s kind of hilarious that thanks to the strike, he’s kinda stuck with it for an indeterminate period of time.

And that’s all I remember. If you have more, please add to this post!