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lu-is-not-ok · 2 years ago

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loving the analyses! could we get ebony stem/ya śūnyatā tad rūpam, if your inbox isn't too full? keep up the good work!

Well, I can fulfill one half of this request, considering I already talked about the other Outis E.G.O for... Way longer than was probably necessary.

That being said, let's dive under the cut for this.

So, let's start off with Ebony Queen's Apple. Or, rather, Snow White's Apple, the Abnormality Ebony Queen's Apple is an Abberation of.

The story of Snow White's Apple is a very interesting twist on the fairytale, focusing on the experience and feelings of the apple that poisoned Snow White.

This apple, created by the witch's rage and curse, was left abandoned after it fulfilled its purpose. Lonely and festering hatred towards the princess, the same feeling the witch was experiencing, it waited to rot away and disapper... But it couldn't. No matter how much time passed, how much the apple was crushed or eaten by bugs and birds, it would continue to exist.

Surrounded by the bodies of the birds and bugs its poison killed, the apple began to ponder its existence, until one day it sprouted enough of a stem and leaves to move from its spot. Thinking of the princess who was woken up from her poisoned slumber by a prince, the apple decided that it was a princess in its own right, but didn't need a prince to be woken.

The main theme of this abnormality is loneliness and jealousy mixing together to form an intense, "toxic" hatred. There's also this interesting idea of immortality and its negative connotations, being that the apple wished to effectively die, but would never rot, instead stewing in its own loneliness and the harm it inflicted just by existing. There's also this interesting idea of a role reversal, of the apple that inherited the witch's will and feelings becoming a princess in its own twisted way.

Now, that's all nice and good, but what about Ebony Queen's Apple.

Here, I would like to briefly rant about the fact that the wiki for Limbus Company contains all the MD Events, all the Abno Logs (though not always with proper assignments who said what), all the detailed Battle Info... but. For SOME FUCKING REASON. It does not include the text for mid-battle events. IT SAYS THE EVENTS ARE THERE!!! BUT DOES NOT PROVIDE THE FUCKING TEXT!!!!

Thank you, shitty fandom wiki, this is useless! You're making my job Harder!

In fact, I'm going to bring up those events as the First Thing, because they actually have the most thematically relevant details out of all of the information we have.

Ebony Queen's Apple has two mid-fight events. One that always activates on Turn 3 of the fight, and one that activates when its Head part is broken once and brought down to half health.

Let's start with the first one, perhaps the most interesting one.

It begins by describing Ebony Queen's Apple as "a heart torn into thousands of pieces", and how it burrows and tangles itself underground to hide itself from all eyes. Already, we have this repeat of the idea that the Apple is inheriting feelings from someone else, being that person's heart rather than just an apple cursed by that person.

This is followed by another interesting line, giving the reason for someone to pull up these roots as "there is no wound that can remain unearthed". The wording of this is kind of odd here. The word 'unearth' means to find something by digging something up from the ground, so for something to remain 'unearthed', it has have already been found and dug up.

Which... doesn't make sense when you first think about it, because it's giving a reason for digging something up by telling you that... something can't remain dug up? Unless, you connect it to the previous line. A wounded heart should not be seen by all eyes. No wound can remain unearthed. Ebony Queen's Apple is very much trying to hide its pain, and that's why the Sinners have to pull on these roots. Reveal the Apple's own pain. Because it by itself never would.

When the Sinners proceed to give each other looks, another interesting sentence follows. "Being coiled in piercing, sharp pain was something to avoid even in one's dreams." While, on the literal level, this is obviously meant to refer to the Sinner being bound by Ebony Queen's Apple's roots, I do wonder... Is it also referring to the pain the Apple itself is experiencing and trying to hide?

The skill check is a Wrath Advantage, with the additional flavor text saying "The dry earth must be upturned. Which Sinner was up to the task?". It's interesting how Wrath, the Sin of defiance, is the one that does better at upturning reality, if you will. But, that's not directly related to the Abno, so I won't dwell on it for too long.

What follows a successful skill check is the Sinner digging up the roots with their bare hands and coming to some... interesting realizations. To quote the text directly:

"In their hands were the doubts of others. The Sinner realized... That while the injury may heal, distrust might take deep root in their heart."

This, I think, is the reveal of what the source of Ebony Queen's Apple's pain is. The Apple has been hurt before, and while no physical injury or pain remains, there is still that pain of distrust, that pain of fear over being hurt again. The coiling, sharp pain that took root in the heart that the Apple represents. And that same pain that the Apple tries so desperately to hide.

Now, let's talk about the second event, which I have to rant about again. There is. Very little online info about this event, as usually one can very easily skip it because of how easy Ebony Queen's Apple is to defeat. The only footage I've found of it is in a Solo video, with the person pressing the Skip button, so if I miss any text in that event, this is why.

And no, I couldn't check what the event was on my own, because by the time I'm writing this Ebony Queen's Apple is no longer available in thread luxcavations, and I'm not going to be doing a whole MD for the chance of finding the boss or waiting a whole week just to be able to confirm the event text. I may be insane, but I'm not that insane.

So, in this event, when the Sinners look up at the Apple's face, they gaze upon "the weathered memories within". Again, there's this idea of the original harm that was done to the Apple took place such a long time ago that its memories have become weathered. It could also refer to the pain and distrust being what made those memories weathered by them, everything the Apple can remember now tainted by these feelings.

Another interesting line in this event is the following: "When the apple browns, cracks, shrivels, and attracts lowly creatures... That is when it has met golden bliss." There's that same idea of the Apple seeking death just like Snow White's Apple. How rotting away and becoming one with the earth, finally letting go of this pain, is the one thing this Apple considers as true bliss.

Upon succeeding the skill check (Pride advantage for taking advantage of the Apple being lost in bliss, btw), an interesting line is said. "The fruit was emptied of its lifeblood long ago; only futility remained."

It's a very evocative sentence to me. It gives the image of Ebony Queen's Apple being a sort of walking corpse, something that should have already died, but something within it was keeping it clinging to life in futility. Was the moment the Apple got hurt enough to begin its distrust the moment it lost its lifeblood? Was that pain and distrust the thing that kept it going in futility?

Now, let's take a look at the actual battle info. Don't worry, this one won't be as long as the MFE one, since Ebony Queen's Apple doesn't have as much to ramble about regarding its Skills and Passives.

Ebony Queen's Apple uses two different Sin Affinities - Gluttony for attacks done with its Stems, and Pride for attacks done with its Roots. All of the Apple's body parts have two attacks each, with the exception of the Head, which only uses a single Affinity-less defense skill.

Starting with the Stem attacks:

Pale Stem - The appearance of Snow White's Apple's stems actually plays a notable role, as they are constantly described as looking like they are dying and withering, yet they're still alive and growing. Likewise, I think it is worth pointing out what Ebony Queen's Apple's stems look like as well. The descriptor of 'Pale' combined with the almost skeletal appearance in its design proper gives the image of a plant that has been dead for so long its color and structure is unrecognisable. And yet... it's still alive, despite all odds.

Distrust - In case we didn't pick up on the idea of distrust from the mid-battle event, this attack would absolutely clue us all in. Incredibly straight-forward, not much more to say here.

Now onto the Roots attacks:

Root Spike - This one is so straightforward that I don't think there's much to read into here. You could probably read way into it with the idea of distrust and how it connects to the idea of taking root, but... Nah. I think this one is just a simple physical description of the attack. They can't all be deep.

Shared Pain - An interesting fact about this specific attack is that it only starts getting used After the mid-battle event (wiki says it only enters the pool after both events but I'm Sure I've had this attack happen after only the first one, so *shrug*), which has some interesting implications.

Recall that the first event involves a Sinner digging up Ebony Queen's Apple's roots, effectively exposing the pain and distrust it feels to everyone around it. And this action is what lets the Apple use the Shared Pain skill... If you can't hide it, make a show out of it, I suppose.

Now, onto the last one, the Head's defense:

Vain Fruit - Now, I think this is a very interesting skill name, as it could have a double meaning. Vain could mean someone with a lot of pride, an excessively high opinion of oneself. However, vain could also mean something useless, futile. In a way, I think both of these apply.

On one hand, Ebony Queen's Apple absolutely fits the Limbus definition of Pride. Hiding and trying to ignore its own pain for the sake of keeping up appearances, doing something for its benefits while ignoring the negative consequences. On the other, we are directly told that the Apple's continued survival is futile, there is no life left in it, only pain and distrust. Its continued existence is in vain.

So, I think the description "Vain Fruit" fits it quite perfectly actually.

Now, I'll take a brief look at the Passives as well.

An Apple's Twilight is an interesting one. When used figuratively, twilight can describe a state of gradual decline, or a state that is obscure and hard to define. In a way, I think that's exactly the state Ebony Queen's Apple is in. Not quite alive, but not yet dead either. In the twilight of its life, you could say.

Entangling Roots is clearly connected to the first mid-battle event, where the Apple is described as tangling itself to hide its pain. These roots are what entangles the Apple, and by pulling them out, this Passive is turned off premautrely.

One Sole Root is an interesting one, because I think it comes back to the idea of Pride/Vanity. That everything is about keeping up Ebony Queen's Apple's image, keeping up that one single root that matters. Note how the Roots are the part of the Apple that is covered up by its dress, and how "breaking" the Roots doesn't necessarily break the roots themselves, but exposes them by breaking the dress covering them.

So, let's finally mention the Abno Logs, shall we?

Something very interesting about Ebony Queen's Apple is that it's noted to not be immediately hostile to the Sinners, rather trying to communicate with them telepathically. It's in stark contrast to Snow White's Apple, whose hatred and poison would actively harm anything within its vicinity.

Even more interestingly, Ebony Queen's Apple asks the Sinners to "Bring Snow White", which leads Faust to realize this Abnormality has some connection to Snow White's Apple. However, something about this is interesting - it's very clearly talking about Snow White, the princess, not the other Apple. Do both of the Apples have some sort of connection to that princess?

The next Log mentions something interesting - Faust speculated that Ebony Queen's Apple could potentially 'believe itself to be a "noble".' Consider how Snow White's Apple began to believe itself to be a princess after spending a long time thinking about her. Likewise, Ebony Queen's Apple seems to have done something similar, instead beginning to believe itself to be the evil queen, potentially also after thinking about her for a long time.

...So I have a theory here. A Lore theory, if you will.

The Snow White's Apple is an Apple who took on the heart of the witch (which, if you somehow don't know the story, is the Evil Queen in disguise), but decided to become like a princess after being hurt by her.

What is the chance that Ebony Queen's Apple is the opposite of that? An Apple who took on the heart of the princess, but decided to become like the Evil Queen after being hurt by her.

It would explain a lot, in fact. The reason why Ebony Queen's Apple isn't initially hostile towards the Sinners? Because at her heart, Snow White isn't a violent or malicious person, it's the persona of the Evil Queen that the Apple took on that is violent. What character in the fairytale would be the most likely to develop high levels of distrust? Snow White, who's being constantly hunted down by the Evil Queen through a variety of deceitful tricks. Why would the Apple look like it's been dead for a long time? Because Snow White was put into a coma, seemingly dying due to the Evil Queen's actions, before she was brought back to life.

So... decoding Ebony Queen's Apple is nice and all, but where does that leave us themes-wise?

Well, distrust is the most obvious theme here. Specifically, the pain one experiences and feels the need to hide because of the fear of being hurt again. There's also this similar idea of immortality, but in this case it's specifically the futile attempt of living after one's death, literal or figurative. A walking corpse, if you will. Finally, the role reversal theme rears its head up again, though in this case it's about a kind, soft-hearted person becoming malicious and selfish, so as to never be hurt again.

And now, we get to the big question. What does all of this mean for Ebony Stem Outis?

Well, let's look at the Awakening attack. In this attack, Outis uses Ebony Queen's Apple's Root Spike attack, which by itself doesn't tell us much. What is interesting is how she invokes this attack. The motion she makes puts to mind the leader of an army, directing their troops forward with the decisive raise of a weapon.

However, the more interesting part here I think is her dialogue line. "If this is to seize victory…" So, those who were here for my Ya Śūnyatā Tad Rūpam analysis might have an idea of where this is going.

This, I think, is Outis expressing her own justification for putting on the persona of the 'Evil Queen', of a brave, selfish commander. It's to seize victory, whether it's about the Smoke War, whatever ulterior motives she has in her current position, or perhaps even something far more personal. Because, if you win, you can't lose and be hurt further, right?

After all...

Outis has proven herself to be quite familiar with this idea, hasn't she?

Now, onto the Corrosion.

Here, the idea of Ebony Queen's Apple representing something that is already dead is further cemented, as Outis's face turns completely skeletal upon becoming Corroded. Interestingly enough, the animation she uses here is the Apple's Shared Pain attack. Perhaps Corroding under the influence of this Abnormality shows enough of her vulnerabilities for her to decide to unmask just enough to use that attack?

The dialogue line here is also very fascinating. "Just a little more…", said in a notably pained manner. Just how desperate is Outis? Just how much pain is she pushing herself through to continue on? How many 'just a little more's has she been clinging to this whole time?

Just like how Ebony Queen's Apple's attempts to keep living after death are futile, Outis's attempts to continue on despite what happened in her past are also futile. No amount of pushing through and inching forward will lead her to where she wants to be. No amount of telling herself that the Oddyssey had a purpose will actually give it one.

Finally, we're at the point where we can do some Sin Analysis.

Ebony Stem is a Gluttony-affinity E.G.O, and it's a very clear yet very interesting case of one. The hunger is very much there, but it's not what one would usually associate with Gluttony on first glance.

The hunger for survival is there, but it's not literal. In this case, it's the striving towards surviving without being hurt, surviving despite the pain distrust causes. Likewise, the hunger for progress is also there, in this case it's for trying to move forward despite what happened in the past, to keep inching 'just a little more', even though it's clearly futile, with no end in sight.

This futility, I think, is what truly makes this a Gluttony E.G.O.

Now, as for the necessary Sin Resources, they are as follows (ordered from needed most of to least of): Pride, Gluttony, Lust, Gloom.

Pride is quite important to Outis's character, and especially to this E.G.O, as she requires a whole four of it to use it. While the whole idea of her ignoring the harm she inflicts on others to get what she wants still applies here, I think there's another layer to this - ignoring the harm she experiences in doing so.

One of the main themes of Ebony Queen's Apple is how one tries to hide and ignore the pain and distrust one feels for the sake of the appearance one puts on, an incredibly Pride-coded action. Likewise, Outis has to hide her pain and insecurities to be able to put on the persona of the strong-willed, merciless commander, a highly Prideful act by Limbus's standards.

Gluttony follows after, with Outis requiring three of it to use Ebony Stem. Due to it being the Sin Affinity of the E.G.O, most of the points I made while talking about that still remain. Outis needs to wish to survive without pain and keep moving forward despite it being futile to use Ebony Stem, simple enough.

Then, a surprise guest.

Lust. Outis requires two of that Sin to use Ebony Stem. While Lust often represents indulgence, I believe this case is very similar to the case of Lust in Ya Śūnyatā Tad Rūpam. It represents Outis's dedication to her personal goals, how she has to be willing to do anything to fulfill them to gain access to this E.G.O. Plus, there is that additional layer of her wishing to not be hurt, though that can count as several different Sins depending on the context, and it's something I would put under Gluttony for this E.G.O specifically.

Finally, there's Gloom. Outis requires only one of it to use Ebony Stem. It's a small, but nonetheless important part of this E.G.O. I believe Gloom here represents the pain and trauma that led to Outis developing this behavior in the first place. The harm that was inflicted on her in the past, and the distrust that clings to her afterwards. It's a small part due to Outis's highly goal-oriented nature, causing her to focus on other aspects of Ebony Stem, suchs as reaching the goal of victory... But that hurt is still there. That piercing, sharp pain coiling around her heart, that she's always aware of at the back of her mind, no matter how much she wishes to hide it.

Of course, her Passive here being named Stem of Distrust only drives the point home even further.

Something interesting about Ebony Stem Outis's Sin Resistances is that, while very close to Ebony Queen's Apple's, they're not exactly the same. Both the Apple and Outis are Fatal to Wrath and Pride, as it's what can easily tear down their masks - the will to defy their commanding presence and tear it down, knowing that exposing their pain will hurt them in the process. However, what they differ in is the Sins that are Ineffective (x0.5) against them, and the ones they Endure (x0.75).

For Ebony Queen's Apple, its Ineffective Resistance is Gloom, and it's Endured Resistance is Envy. Meanwhile, for Ebony Stem Outis, the Ineffective Resistance is Gluttony, while Gloom is Endured.

I think the reason they're protected from the influences of those Sins is, well... They're the reasons why both the Apple and Outis put on those personas in the first place. They're both protected from Gloom because the whole reason they act like 'Evil Queens' is to avoid getting further hurt, with it being much more important to the Apple.

The Apple endures Envy because its pain likely comes from the influence of a single person - the real Ebony Queen. As such, by mimicking her, the Apple is effectively ensuring that it won't be as hurt and influences by her as it was in the past. Likewise, Gluttony is Ineffective against Ebony Stem Outis as that's the main reason she puts on this mask, to continue moving forward, to keep on living after what happened, regardless of its futility.

There is... certainly something going on with Outis that we don't fully know about yet. Something about her two Gluttony Affinity E.G.Os having themes of distrusting other people, and all of her E.G.Os having some form of idea of putting on a front that's far more aggressive or selfish or commanding than the real self might be...

Girl, what is with you.

#tearychildren #ask #lu speaketh #limbus company #outis #outis lcb #ebony stem outis #lcb analysis #i will say #this new format i've been doing with e.g.o analyses #where i go far more in depth than i used to #is extremely fun to write #maybe once i'm out of requests i might revisit some of my old analyses #the roseate desire one especially feels somewhat dated #as i've written that one before my opinion on what each of the sins means was solidified #but who knows #anyway enjoy another essay length analysis

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unikhroma · 18 days ago

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we need to talk about ramb [analysis/theory]

MASSIVE shoutout to my friend mycringefactory for ripping his sprites

ramb! he's the power strip darkner in chapter 3 that runs the stand in the green room and introduces you to the set of games that leads to the chapter's unusual secret boss.

weird attention to detail with his sprites, telling kris that he knows they want, dismissing their concerns that something might be up, having a page of the sweepstakes ARG named after him instead of the location it's showing, directly introducing kris to a rendition of the weird route and saying that it's "REAL fun".

seems like if it were some other character, these would be ringing more alarm bells. but i knew, i Knew there was something up with him. he is the secret boss, it's just not in a way we're used to. strap in, cause this is long as fuck <- not an exaggeration i've been writing this for the past three days.

ramb is the shadow mantle enemy.

ramb wants kris to have fun and enjoy the games he's provided! no he really wants kris to have fun and enjoy the games. he mentions it a lot, and keeps saying that he knows kris and what they want. in the context of a game about the weird route no less.

and all this is much like the shadow mantle enemy. it says outright that it thinks a part of kris isn't getting the shadow crystals because it'll get what they want, instead it's that they're just enjoying this, like ramb keeps saying is the case for them.

it wasn't there to stop kris: what it wanted was to see kris play, said plain as day. i believe the flickering red comment is about kris' eyes, that it wanted to see them really get into playing the game.

it's hard to believe that this is all just a parallel when it lines up So Closely. i feel like you don't just have two characters speak almost exactly the same and with such an emphasis on the same things, with the only difference being an accent in one of them. not to mention that there's an NPC tells you who ramb parallels.

can't find footage, but m-chromatic says this is from a pippins NPC

the shadow mantle enemy also further emphasizes its interest in kris having fun with a secret room in one of the games:

"Having fun?"

it feels like such a personalized message to them, and whether kris is having fun is something that ramb is very concerned with.

something particularly notable is what happens the first time you get proper dialogue from the mantle enemy. after the board is cleared, kris asks ramb about someone being backstage, and he denies it and says he's been there on security the whole time.

also i find it odd that the first line is one of the few times that expression of his shows up. in the second line he turns his head away in a smile

another thing:

and this bit might be a stretch but it's worth mentioning: the little creature that the mantle enemy turns into does happen to have floppy ears like ramb does.

once again shoutout to mycringefactory for ripping these sprites

alright, so ramb may have control of this game, probably from the wide variety of controllers in the backstage (though i have a personal theory that he can go into the game himself). but why do i think he has anything to do with the game itself? well, this ties into a sub-theory:

MANTLE/MANHOLE is a dragon blazers romhack made by ramb, and is what tenna unknowingly built his game off of.

in case you're wondering why i'm giving it two names. i personally think it's manhole cause it ties into other things

tenna's game vs the original game. "some big ol' blasted line from A to B" vs "the ORIGINAL game where YOU decide what to do". the parallel of regular route vs weird route is a lil on the nose. in this game, you're made to do a re-imagining of the weird route in chapter two and something beyond that. but the game wasn't always that.

the spamton sweepstakes is how we know this. the d_a_m_n_y_o_u_t_e_n_n_a page and noelle's icepalace_glaceir blog teases MANTLE/MANHOLE and ties it back to ramb. clicking the TV will change the screen to be static-filled (like the game cuts to when the controller isn't plugged in), and the lowest point of the page contains static squares, one leading to a neon blue screen and the other leading to ramb's page.

the neon blue screen (similar to the title screen of MANTLE/MANHOLE) can be scrolled up to show what looks like a representation of the ice area in the old game where you use the ice key. the door on the page leads to noelle's icepalace_glaceir blog, where she describes an oddity in dragon blazers that lines up perfectly with an area in the old game.

this cross area in the old game is accompanied by a track named GLACEIR. on noelle's blog, she writes that she's currently listening to a song from dragon blazers of the same name. it would make sense that if she's writing about that area and feeling nostalgic about it, she'd be listening to the song from it as well.

the choice of word for what her mood is.. i can't help but think of how that one weird ass expression of ramb's is called "nostalgic"

with all that in mind, i feel like it's pretty clear that that "old thing" tenna says he based his game on was intended to be dragon blazers. except that "original game" was clearly tampered with. it's not a coincidence that this game has a rendition of the weird route's beginning, it was put in there by someone. tenna is bothered by MANTLE/MANHOLE's contents as well:

another clue on the game being modified by ramb is, despite it being dragon blazers, the third board isn't a non-specific RPG location and is instead based on cyber world, specifically cyber city and queen's mansion's basement.

ramb originates from cyber world and while tenna may have known things about cyber city due to his connection with spamton, it's highly unlikely that he's seen the mansion basement, so it had to be ramb who modded it. ramb mentions people who live in queen's mansion like he knows them well.

another thing.. think about the names associated with him: his name is ramb. like RAMb. to put it simply, RAM is any data in a computing device that can change or be modified, and it's implied that he modded dragon blazers.

his name is misspelled as ROMb in-game and in the sweepstakes page regarding him and the old game. the track that plays in the S-rank room and thus when you speak to him about the game is called "Dump". to mod a ROM, you'd have to dump it from the hardware first (though i don't think that's necessarily what ramb did since we're in a fantasy world).

the dump thing is interesting to me also cause as mentioned before, the spamton sweepstakes has a page for ramb, but it was first accessed by clicking "[scrap heap]" in one of the prize descriptions. another allusion to him and trash... btw i feel like it's worth stressing: HE'S HAD A PAGE NAMED AFTER HIM THIS WHOLE TIME!!

oh and there's these two lines from him that absolutely implies that he had some kind of hand in the games backstage. the "HIS" would not be emphasized like that if the old game was impersonal to ramb.

so why is ramb like this?

why'd he want kris to play his fucked up snowgrave game so much? what's all this talk about fun? and then after all that, asking them if opening the fountain was that good of an idea... after all, doing so would cause him several darkners to turn to stone.

he's a power strip. like outlets, power strips can have a large variety of things connected to them: fans, chargers, TVs, video game consoles.. the key difference though, is that they can have multiple things connected to them at once and they're portable.

ramb shouldn't turn to stone because, unlike that zapper that turned to stone because its likely to be for catti's TV and isn't compatible with the dreemurr's, he's not bound by that kind of restriction. in fact there's a lot of uses he can have, multiple at once even. he's also directly relevant to TV world as being able to provide power to tenna himself.

but ultimately, in the same vein as tenna, he stopped being used. and getting kris to play these games, when his purpose is "letting you play your games", might've been a way to keep himself alive. "Without play... the knife grows dull." i think this line from him as the shadow mantle is also in reference to how without him being played, he'll turn to stone (grow dull).

i don't think this is just that side of himself being un-petrified because of the light. the light is enveloping him entirely, you can see it go well past him. i think he needed to be as close in proximity to the game as he could since it's tied to his purpose. more on this later.

selfish actions aside, i do think ramb cares about kris. but he was also suffering from being outcasted both socially and by lightners including them, so i think he was preparing for a fountain opening and the opportunity to convince kris into spending time with him again.

he was really done dirty by his fellow darkners man

he projects onto kris so much: he wants to have fun too. he misses those times. an opportunity to meet an old friend in the midst of loneliness and to relive those good memories he holds onto so much? well, he had to do something.

...and the something he did was steal the shadow mantle and create a fucked up game for this kid because he missed seeing them have fun and thought that all that fucked up shit was what they liked. (i think it's implied that kris plays video games in a bit of an aggressive way? unfortunately struggling to find specific scenes about it)

the thing about how he was already stone on the inside makes me wonder if that's a way of saying that he died inside a while ago and the loneliness broke him. part of me thinks he's intended to represent mentally ill people who fall through the cracks cause they don't "seem" like they are. this power strip needs therapy and medication man

the implications of him modifying the game to show the weird route in particular though... is he trying to encourage it? is it a warning? was learning about the weird route the thing that made him spiral and turn to doing this? it's very likely yes, since similar things happened to jevil and spamton.

how does he know about the weird route and what happened to him?

awesome first question: i don't know. it's possible that, because he's meant to parallel tenna, that he too was contacted by the knight, and they told him about it. however, it may not be that one-to-one. since spamton's forbidden knowledge came from someone outside of the in-game universe (we presume gaster), he could've gotten it from that.

and what's up with all the DEVICE_FRIEND appearances in his romhack? ..honestly can't explain it either. but since he depicts queen's mansion in it, i get the feeling that he's been down there and he saw it. maybe it's something that really stuck with him, or he had extended contact with it.

now as for his fate.. after the sword route is complete (meaning all three boards of his game are finished), the rabbick in the S-rank room expresses fear over something that happened with ramb.

so what the hell happened to him to freak this rabbick out so much?

most likely: he parallels tenna, so maybe he was also enlisted by the knight, and his job was to keep the shadow mantle out of kris' hands. because he failed to do so, he got taken or hurt by the knight as punishment.

less likely but more interesting to me: let's address the rabbick saying that kris already went past. we saw the pixel kris leave the backstage, so that seems to be what they saw. the pixel kris escaping the game may mean that the game will technically never be turned off, making it so that ramb is always being "used" and thus not fated to turn to stone while the fountain is still open

so the rabbick might've been frightened by a darkner that shouldn't be alive coming to life again (..thoough i have a theory that he might be able to shapeshift and that freaked them out but that's for another post)

either way, if you completed the sword route, ramb is somewhere else now. isn't that fun?

so! now with all of this information about him in mind: do you see why i'm insane about him. there's more evidence for some of my points (like ramb knowing you missed the ice key and having another creepy message for kris in a secret room) and evidence for potential counterpoints, but this post is so fucking long man.

thinking about exploring other things about him like his beef with tenna but we'll see. because this took a lot out of me LOL. anyway:

THANK YOU FOR READING!

oh and by the way, if there's a little man who doesn't fit with the other darkners telling kris to do some weird out-of-the-way shit and telling them that that's what they really want and he's talking about freedom, you should be asking questions

#harvey's new text tag #deltarune #deltarune chapter 3 #deltarune ch3 #ramb #ramb deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 3 + 4 spoilers #deltarune ch3 + 4 spoilers #deltarune speculation and unused stuff #<- we love the theory tag/

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sylphidine · 3 months ago

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My "Six weeks until we hear from our good friend Jonathan Harker" post went somewhat viral.

I've had several folks in my ask box and in replies inquire how they can be part of the "experience the novel DRACULA in real time" phenomenon this year.

So here's one of the replies I just sent.

There's two ways to follow along.

If you want to read along, you can subscribe to the Substack and get the entries in your email. https://draculadaily.substack.com/

If you want to listen to the ABSOLUTELY BANGER full cast audio drama [with transcripts], you can access it with your favorite listening platform via https://redracula.live/.

You can also get lots of thoughtful analysis and fanart by tracking the Tumblr tags #dracula daily and #re: dracula.

Hope this helps!

Disclaimer: I am not affilated with either DRACULA DAILY or with Re: Dracula. I'm just a humble bookseller, just another fan, enjoying this annual Tumblr tradition.

#in a dracula mood #dracula daily #re: dracula #i love everyone in this bar

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cutielando · 7 months ago

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paws and chaos | lando norris

synopsis: in which you and Lando decide to adopt a golden retriever

a/n: i don’t know about you guys, but Lando always gives off golden retriever energy, so it’s only logical that he adopts a goldie

pairing: lando norris x girlfriend!reader

my masterlist

It had all started with an innocent comment on your part.

"I saw the cutest video of a puppy on TikTok this morning" you had said one morning, scrolling through your phone while Lando sipped on a cup of tea next to you.

"Oh yeah?" he said, looking up from his phone to look at you.

"Yeah. I'd love to have one someday" you said, absentmindedly.

Lando tilted his head, his lips curling into a mischievous smile.

"Someday? Why not today?" he asked, making you blink up at him.

"What?"

"Let's get a dog today" he said, his voice filled with excitement.

"Lando, we can't just-" you started, ready to list all of the reasons as to why this was not a good idea.

But Lando was having none of it. He had already stood up from the dining table, his tea long forgotten as he grabbed his laptop from the counter.

And that's how you found yourselves, twenty minutes later, scrolling through the website of the nearby animal shelter in Monaco. Each puppy he pointed out seemed cuter and sweeter than the last, and despite every protest you tried to make about the two of you being unprepared to care for a puppy, you couldn't deny the effect that each of the tiny faces staring back at you had.

After meticulous analysis of every puppy picture on the website, Lando had stopped on the one.

A scruffy little thing with floppy ears, soulful eyes and a patch of fur that stuck up awkwardly on the top of his head. Both of your hearts melted once you had stared at the picture, a silent agreement that this was the one for you.

The shelter had named him Benny, but Lando immediately decided to rename him Turbo.

"Look at him! He's perfect, don't you think?" he exclaimed excitedly, practically bouncing in his seat.

You sighed, a smile tugging at your lips as you looked at your overjoyed boyfriend.

"Do you really think we can do this?" you asked, wanting to make sure he knew what he was getting himself into.

He nodded, his eyes staring back at you.

"Fine, let's go meet him"

♡♡♡♡♡

Not even an hour later, you were at the animal shelter, waiting for the staff to bring out Benny Turbo.

The moment he toddled into the room, he made a straight beeline for Lando, his tiny tail wagging so hard it looked like it might propel him off the floor and into the air.

"Mate, you're going to break the sound barrier with that thing" Lando laughed, scooping the puppy into his arms.

Turbo immediately licked Lando's cheek, earning a delighted squeal from your boyfriend.

After a couple of moments, the goldie turned his attention to you. And then it was game over. He wiggled out of Lando's arms and climbed into your lap, pawing at your hands and nibbling on your fingers with his tiny teeth.

"Okay, he's absolutely adorable" you admitted, your heart completely stolen as you enjoyed the attention from the small puppy.

Lando grinned triumphantly.

"I told you" he said, making you roll your eyes.

By the time you got home, Turbo had already earned himself the spot as the king of the house.

He darted from one room into another, sniffing everything he encountered in his sight. When he found Lando's shoe near the couch, he proudly dragged it to his newly installed bed and plopped down on it, staring at the two of you with the shoe still in his mouth.

"Turbo, that's not a chew toy" Lando groaned, chasing after him.

You watched from the doorway, laughing as Lando tried to wrestle the shoe from the determined and stubborn puppy.

It ended with both of them sprawled on the floor, Turbo wagging his tail like he'd won a championship, the shoe still with him.

"What did we get ourselves into?" you thought to yourself.

♡♡♡♡♡

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of adorable chaos.

Turbo was a ball of endless energy, absolutely no corner from your home being safe from his antics and zoomies.

He chewed on the table legs, got tangled into the window curtains and almost broke them. He even managed to steal an entire loaf of bread off the counter while you weren't looking at him.

"Where's the bread I just bought?" you asked one evening, looking around the kitchen with a confused face.

Lando looked around with you until he stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide.

"Uh... Turbo?" he slowly said, his eyes focused on the living room.

You followed his gaze to the room, seeing Turbo sat proudly next to the loaf you had been looking for, crumbs scattered all around him on the carpet like confetti.

"I can't even be mad at him" you sighed picking him up.

He smiled as he started licking your face, his tail thumping against your arm excitedly as he got your attention and affection.

Lando laughed, quickly taking out his phone to snap a picture of you and Turbo.

"You're going to break the internet with that face, Turbo" Lando said, looking at his phone for a moment.

You laughed, leaning down to press a sweet kiss on the top of his fluffy head.

A couple of hours later, it was late into the evening when you and Lando decided to head to your shared bedroom.

Despite the mischief and endless zoomies, Turbo was the sweetest little cuddle bug when nighttime came. Every night, just like that night, he would climb into bed with you and lay down between you and Lando, waiting for belly scratches.

"This is my favorite part of the day" you said, scratching Turbo's ears as he sighed contentedly.

"Yeah, mine too" Lando said, staring at you two.

What more could he want in life?

♡♡♡♡♡

As the weeks passed and Turbo grew, so did the bond between the three of you.

You celebrated every little milestone that he would have: his first trip to the local park where he chased the butterflies and made friends with every dog he came across, every road trip that you guys would take where Turbo would insist on sitting on your lap, every Grand Prix that he would attend as Lando's number 1 fan.

You celebrated and captured every moment.

But you also loved the bond between him and Lando.

One night, after coming home late from a girls' night out, you found Lando lying on the floor with Turbo sprawled across his chest. Lando was whispering softly to him, his voice filled with affection for his little best buddy

"You know, you're the best decision I've ever made. But don't tell your mother I said that, she'll get jealous" he said, running is fingers through Turbo's soft fur.

"I heard that" you called from the doorway, grinning widely as Lando looked up sheepishly.

Lando reached out to you, prompting you to sit down next to him, smiling once Turbo got up from Lando's chest and settled on your lap.

"Traitor" Lando said, pouting as he lost in your detriment.

You shrugged, sticking your tongue out at him as you cuddled Turbo close to your chest.

"You're both the best decisions I've ever made" Lando whispered under his breath, making sure that neither of you heard him.

He was just grateful for you both.

♡♡♡♡♡

Months later, as you sat on the couch with Lando's arm around your shoulders and Turbo snoring softly in your lap, you realized just how much joy the tiny, scruffy puppy had brought into your lives.

"I have to give you credit. Turbo was the best impulse decision you've ever talked me into making" you murmured, your hand continuing to caress his soft fur.

You felt Lando smile against the top of your head before planting a kiss.

"I told you"

And as Turbo let out a little snort in his sleep, you couldn't imagine your home without him or without Lando by your side.

They were everything you could ever need.

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lovscb97 · 5 months ago

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railway (b.cc.) ༉‧₊˚.

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ TRACK 001: part of the step out series

synopsis: you didn’t mean to get tied up with your best friend’s ex-boyfriend, but sometimes all you can do is hold on tight for the rough ride ahead of you, even if it means going against all the pre-written rules of friendship.

tags: best friend's ex!bangchan x fem!reader, angst, forbidden romance, mutually toxic relationship, morally grey characters, chan and reader are both kind of awful, mention of other idols (rest of stray kids, stayc, enhypen, etc), oc as chan's ex-girlfriend (aeri), mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing, use of nicknames (baby, darling, etc), very brief pussy slapping, possessiveness, mild dacryphilia, car sex, fingering, sir kink, squirting, jealousy, slight exhibitionism, bathroom sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, degradation (bitch, slut, etc), dirty talk, very brief mention of strength kink, mirror sex, breeding kink, creampie, brief choking, slight overstimulation, etc

theme board: www.pin.1003 / song link: prod:b.cc

wc: 7.85k

add. notes: welcome 2 the first course >:] i've offered my insights n analysis on railway alr but delving into the meaning of the song n creating a whole fic based off of it was very intriguing for me esp cus i don't usually write based off of music i listen to. i knew i wanted smth wrong to put out but i don't like infidelity n the usual story on toxic situations is tough to pull of so i decided to go down the more 'scandalous' route of sorts n make chan ur best friend's ex instead :3 there's a pinterest board i made for all these fics which for this one u can find linked above to grasp the aesthetics of it n i'd recommend reading this while listening to railway ofc. as always plz make sure u watch out for the tags n dni if ur a minor. also sidenote but aeri (the oc) is not meant to be seen as giselle from aespa but rather i just used that name bcs it's pretty lol just thought i'd lyk that. either way i hope u all enjoy!

. . .

19:23 PM from: dni!!! Wyd?

you swallow thickly at the sight of the text which lights up your screen, eyes zeroed in on the simple three letters which still hold thousands of words worth of meaning in themselves when combined. if it weren’t for the rubber case at the back, you reckon you would’ve dropped your phone with how instantly sweaty your palms become upon having received the message. the way you’re staring at your app, maybe even enough to bore holes into the words displayed back at you, doesn't go unnoticed either, and you barely manage to pocket the device as quick as you'd pulled it out just in time as your best friend approaches you.

“everything okay? you look kinda pale.” aeri frowns once she’s in front of you, voice laced with concern so sweet that it almost makes bile rise up your throat as you attempt to lean back against jake’s kitchen counter to stabilise yourself. she doesn’t seem to buy the eventual shaky nodding of your head that you offer after realising she’d just asked you something that required an answer, but even if she wants to probe you further, she doesn’t, deciding to immerse you in conversation about something your other friends had told her; another one of her gossip sessions with yoon and jungwon, you presume.

her storytelling fades into background noise at some point, for you can’t ignore the heavy weight of the object tucked away in the back of your skirt pocket, still incessantly burning and buzzing with notifications you know you shouldn’t pay half a mind to. you’re well aware that they’re all most likely from the same person; the one individual you shouldn’t and have no right to indulge and mix with to this day; whose bedsheets you’ve found yourself tangled up in late at night alongside dirty noises slipping past both your lips; the very man who remains as sin personified in the storyline of your current life, and honestly might stay that way for as long as you live.

or in other words, aeri’s ex-boyfriend, chan.

your best friend met chan in her final year of university, bumping into him on chance encounter outside her lecture hall and exchanging textbooks by accident. chan had been all smiles when she’d invited him to lunch as an apology for the mix up, often tagging along with her after that until soon enough, they grew close enough and began seeing each other romantically. he seemed to treat her well for the most part, and you were happy for aeri that she’d found a good man worth her time and effort in the world. she’d drag you with her on their outings one too many times, and you’d gotten to know him from those instances, finding him to be a decent match for her.

unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and the spark between them started dwindling. you’re not sure what exactly happened, only able to recall bits and pieces from what aeri had told you mid-sob on your calls about her previous lover slowly becoming distant nearing the final stages of their relationship, so you’ve always just thought it was a mutual decision to cut ties for the betterment of each other. according to her vividly detailed breakdowns though, chan had been the one to suggest calling it off first, and everything came to a screeching halt three years down the line with much screaming and tears from her side. to an extent, their split did shake up things a little between all your mutual friends, but it also didn’t fully stop everybody from engaging with each other. all this brings you to your current situation— waiting in jake’s apartment for the rest of your friends to arrive for a random party he’d decided to plan on a whim.

“yo, guys!” speak of the devil, you think, tugging yourself out of your thoughts as you turn your body to let jake’s figure come into view. he beams at you like a big puppy, his hair flopping in a way that loosely resembles dog ears, and you remember after a split second that that’s just how your friend is referred to as in your group; the resident golden retriever. he parades up to you and aeri as one too, his vibrant smile lighting up the atmosphere in a way that you can’t stop relief from flooding your system at his presence.

“how are my favourite girls doing this fine evening?” he smirks, his usual flirting the same as always, causing aeri to roll her eyes as you chuckle. “har har up yours, sim.” she sticks her tongue out, prompting jake to do the same as he ruffles her hair, to which she shrieks. “oh, by the way,” jake perks up as if he’s just thought of something, completely ignoring your best friend smacking him on the arm lightly over his actions. “y/n, would you be so kind as to get the pack of beer from my car?” he pleads, doe eyes twinkling under the light of the room.

you’re about to groan in protest, not wanting to go back out in the cold and freeze your ass off for a measly few cans of alcohol, but the front door swinging open accompanied by the all too familiar voice you’ve grown acquainted to fills the air, making your stomach drop— chan. chan is here. suddenly, you’re not too opposed to getting far away, and you quickly nod your head rapidly in agreement, not bothering to wait for the way jake lights up at you accepting his proposal before snatching the keys from his hold and darting towards the lift.

chan’s jaw tightens at this. he barely manages to catch a glimpse of you from how you rush out past him, not even able to take in your outfit or face in the dashing haze you leave in. he points his thumb to where you had exited, bluffing something about helping you when jake responds how you’d gone out to grab the load of drinks he’d been too lazy to heave upstairs himself. nobody makes any work to question him when he turns on his heel to catch the elevator himself, thinking nothing of his usual gentleman-like behaviour.

nobody except for a pair of eyes lingering on his disappearing frame that neither one of the visitors in the house manages to grasp onto.

meanwhile, you quickly find yourself in the outdoor parking lot of jake’s building, hugging your shivering body tightly in an effort to warm yourself up against the chilling wind that blows past the trees. the sky has basically turned dark by now, but the streetlamps hanging overhead on the sides of the pavement serve as enough illumination to carry out your task. your breath comes out in heavy smoke to the point you can see it, and you try your best to spot your friend’s car as soon as possible, cheering internally when you manage to do so. after having jogged on over to it, you enter the key into the trunk lock with trembling fingers, twisting it until that same latch you’ve grown used to feeling with your own vehicle opens and makes way for you to push up the boot lid.

you’re about to hook underneath to manoeuvre it open, that is, until a sudden cold hand tugs on the bare skin of your arm, making you jump out of your own flesh. you open your mouth to yell out loud, ready to alert your friends a few floors upstairs that someone is trying to kidnap you potentially when that same hand clamps over it. only when your vision stabilises in your dimly lit surroundings do you recognise chan in front of you, and you feel your shoulders physically drop as you put down your defences, glaring at him when he removes himself.

“why the hell would you sneak up on me like that? i—“

“are you avoiding me?”

his question comes out gruff and annoyed, causing you to blink at the way he’s glowering at you in suspicion. his arms are crossed against his chest, hiding the black button-up you’ve seen him wearing and committed to memory one too many times from how it clings perfectly onto his chiselled shoulders and biceps. it makes you gulp, but you attempt to hide your affected reaction anyways, delivering a scoff in his direction which only makes chan grit his teeth at your attitude. “so what if i am? you know damn well either way without needing me to spell it out for you.” you bite back, moving to turn around when he catches you by the elbow, leaving you to scowl at him.

“what’s gotten into you? just a few days ago, we were fine, yet now you’re ignoring my texts?” he narrows his eyes, holding you in place so you can’t budge away from him. you let out a faint tch at his words, more so at your own susceptibility to succumb to his advances, but chan tongues the side of his cheek after assuming you’re just being blatantly disrespectful towards him. his voice drops to a lower, seductive tone as he speaks up again. “need me to remind you again? you came over last saturday and humped my thigh before squirting on my tong— hmph!“

“god, yes, i fucking remember, okay?” you exclaim in a whisper after having slapped a hand over his mouth this time, eyes darting around frantically to make sure no one heard that. “could you be any more louder? jesus christ.” chan peels you off of him shortly afterwards, his expression souring at the way you address him. something about the anger in his features makes your own rise, and you feel any or all remorse you'd experienced prior to seeing him in person today vanish, replaced with a bubbling hatred of sorts.

you and chan began your weird affiliation with one another around two months ago, exactly a few days after he and your best friend broke up. to this day, you don’t know why he made a move on you, much less why you yourself reciprocated it. sure, you’d always found him objectively attractive when he and aeri were together, and while he may be your exact match of an ideal type to a tee, you would never think to act on the growing tension you experienced for him, especially when he was in a long term commitment with the closest person in the world to you.

it all happened in the most random of occurrences too. you still remember meeting him the night you were out at the convenience store to run errands, catching him hunched over a table in a hoodie and messy hair with two bottles of soju in front. he’d flashed you a polite smile and offered to drink together, which realistically, you should’ve declined. you should’ve turned the other way in disgust and walked out on him to tell your best friend what he’d attempted to do, regardless of whether that would’ve led to something or not. instead, you found yourself in his bed that day, moaning his name as he ravished you under the moonlight streaming through his curtains in your combined drunken craze.

the next morning had been full of hiccuped cries, chan cradling you in his arms despite the scalding touch of his hold gnashing against you and leaving metaphorical imprints that you would never be able to scrub off. each time he soothed you, rubbing your back and kissing your hair, you felt the waves of guilt wash over harsher than the last. he continued to reassure you throughout anyways, telling you it’d be okay and that no one would have to know. blindly, you’d believed him, promising yourself and him to never act on either of your arbitrary lust by not letting go of your inhibitions.

that was the first lie you told yourself.

“y’know, i’m really not a fan of this whole backtalk towards me.” chan criticises, and you laugh bitterly after picking up on his audible disappointment as it hits your ears. “see? there it is again. maybe i’ve gotta teach you some manners, hm?” his tone is sultry once more, leaving you fighting the urge to flush under his gaze. you ultimately lose though, wanting nothing more than to punch him in the face with the way he snickers at your cheeks reddening crimson. instead, you try retain the little dignity you have left as you push against his chest, scanning your parameters with paranoia when he steps closer to you.

“we can’t.” you mumble, clearly slipping. chan’s only response to that is a breathless huff, warm against your face as you peer up at him through your lashes, finally getting a good look at him. he’s wearing his signature hoop earrings today, hair brushed down so his bangs fall over his forehead. the collar of that same dress shirt he’s got on is popped despite a few buttons being undone, leaving the styling choice to highlight his collarbone. that same milky skin you’ve ghosted your nails over multiple times hides underneath the black fabric, leaving you to shiver at the memories of it. it also doesn’t help that the way he towers you is sending your mind reeling into submission way too easily, and you only manage to shake out of it when his fingers trail down to wrap around your wrist, allowing you to feel the cold metal of a ring you recognise all too well press into your joint—

the same half of a promise ring you’d helped him pick out for aeri a year ago.

the realisation that he’s still wearing it hits, and combined with the once again forming shame in the back of your head, it all makes you want to shove him away in favour of storming out of here to tell your best friend everything once and for all. a part of you can sense undue jealousy simmering inside at the fact that he’s still got a piece of her with him too, something you know you have no right to feel, but you try ignore it to your best ability. “chan, we can’t.” you repeat with a hitch in your breath, more so for yourself than him. and yet, you don’t even believe your own words, finding the less rational and weak side of you surrendering to the temptation chan tantalises in you; it overshadows whatever morality you have left.

“d’you really want me to stop?” he breathes out, body sagging far too close into yours for it to be friendly, although you suppose none of your interactions since starting this scandalous relationship have ever been that. his fingers, the very same ones bearing the ring on them, move to wrap around your throat, forcing you to tilt your head up and lock eyes with him. goosebumps prick your skin when you catch sight of the way his gaze is hooded, orbs swirling with black desire he’s begun to reserve only for you in these coming weeks. “because, if you want me to stop, i will.” chan points out. “say the word and i’ll turn around. out of sight, out of mind.” he makes a statement out of it by retracting his hand from you, but the very distinct whine you let out is all the confirmation he needs to press his mouth to yours.

kissing chan always feels like playing with fire. it scorches, and singes, and sears, reducing you to a burnt crisp, yet you can’t help but yearn for the flame he ignites in you. even the way he’s clutching onto you now, pressing forward with a fervour only you bring out in him, has his lips moulding against your cherry stained ones despite not fitting as perfectly as you’d want them to. the two of you are by no means a compatible match for each other; neither of you has made a single good decision ever since you began indulging in whatever you’ve got going on, but you also can’t help but crave the scandalous nature of everything. you’re truly a despicable pair, you think.

“get in the car.” chan’s voice cuts through your thoughts when he pulls away. he doesn’t even give you time to think when he walks over and opens the door, gesturing inside to the warm confines of the backseat. ideally, you shouldn’t, you know you shouldn’t, but alas, you’ve never been one to listen to yourself, instead finding your legs scrambling and following suit to shuffle into jake’s vehicle before the weight of your actions even sinks in. chan’s hot on your trail too, and before you can even get comfortable in the cramped space, he’s returning to making out with you, fingers roaming greedily around the expanse of your skin.

“t-they’ll know we’re gone.” you stutter, moving your face out of his reach to try and stop chan’s movements when it finally dawns on you that your friends had sent you out on an errand you’d taken far too long to complete by now. chan’s only response is to grunt though, tugging you back in for another smouldering kiss that knocks the wind out of your lungs. his hands grasp, pinch, and squeeze whatever part of you they can, until he’s finally decided that he’s had enough foreplay, opting to cage you underneath him and hike up the tight, red dress that’s adorning your body for today’s occasion. “i’ll be quick. i always am.” he winks, and you’re too far gone now to understand that he’s responding to your previous comment, a fact that only makes him chuckle.

“wore this to tease me, yeah?” chan clicks his tongue at the way he has to practically peel off the bottom half of your clothing, the snug fit of the fabric around your curves leaving nothing to the imagination as he bites his lip. he debates whether he’s glad you chose this outfit to show off for him, or if that pisses him off because it means everybody gets an eyeful of your figure; he decides on the latter. “wanted to slut yourself out for my attention? all you had to do was ask, baby.” you shake your head with a whimper, and he raises an eyebrow at your reaction. “d-didn’t.. didn’t wear it for you.” you manage to breathe out, which proves to be the wrong answer because next thing you know, his hand is coming down to smack your clothed core.

you yelp at the sting of his actions, teary eyes blinking up at him in a way that makes chan’s boxers tighten. he’s so close to losing his composure, but he holds back for your sake, not wanting to let you see his cool slip. “is that so? i guess you’re just a dirty girl then.” he sneers, yanking down your soaked panties in one swift motion, leaving you to gasp as the cool air hits your sticky folds.

chan wastes not even one second, knobby digits dragging through the wetness he’s not surprised to find whatsoever. he spreads it over your clit, getting you messier than you already are, especially from the way you appear to leak even more arousal from his movements. he touches you until you’re twitching under his hold, biting back the sounds that threaten to escape you, which seems to be a fact he doesn’t approve of from the way he pinches your nub between his fingers; you cry out softly from the rush of stimulation it shoots through you. “eyes on me.” chan growls, sliding his hand down to circle your oozing hole before he’s abruptly shoving two fingers inside.

“fuck.” you moan this time, loud and clear. this seems to satisfy him, seeing as he rewards you with a steady pump of his digits thrusting into your heat. his speed in fingering you increases quickly, and it isn’t long before he’s scissoring you open, the sloppy sounds of your juices slicking up his fingers and echoing in the stuffy space of jake’s car. you’re probably staining the leather of the seats, but neither you nor chan seem to care about that right now, not when he’s knuckle deep inside your wet cunt and you’re making such pretty noises all for him.

“just filthy, aren’t ya? getting finger fucked in the back of your friends car. i bet your dumb little brain can’t even understand what i’m saying right now.” chan mocks, his tone laced with a level of condescension that only makes you buck your hips up to chase his movements. you know he’s completely right too, because the way he’s thrusting his digits inside you, stroking your warm walls with the tips of them has you seeing stars to the point you can’t even respond back something snarky in return. “all you’re good for is being a nasty toy for sir’s use, hm?” you barely even register his question, only remembering you need to answer him when he pulls his wet hand away to smack you once more, this time over your swollen bundle of nerves.

“y-yes, sir. only a toy for you. jus’ you.” you mindlessly slur out, and chan groans at that. not even a moment passes before he’s sinking his fingers back inside you, curling them up to massage that rough spot which always has you clenching down on him. his expression twists to a smug one when you jerk forward instantly. bingo, he thinks. “that’s that spot there, yeah? the one that has you losing yourself on me?” he coos, but his voice drips with a smidge of venom you can’t quite fixate on just yet. instead, you nod dumbly, spasming around him as you try grind upwards to chase the rising sensation of your climax.

chan leans into your frame, one hand splayed flat onto jake’s backseat above your head to maintain his balance whilst his body hovers over you. by now, your eyes are clenched shut, but he can’t even find it in him to get mad at you over that, not when you’re dribbling down his wrist and mewling so pretty under the glow of the night as he works you towards your orgasm. “c’mon, baby. cum f’me. wanna see you cum so pretty for sir.” he encourages, jaw locked with concentration.

it only takes about one or two flicks of his expertly trained thumb pressing on your puffy clit, combined with the pads of his fingers hitting your g-spot with terrifying accuracy, before you’re shuddering through your climax. a small, clear stream of liquid sprays out the sides of where he’s got you plugged up, and he pulls his hand away in favour of rubbing you over to coax out the last remnants of your high. your quivering body thrashes when he tries to draw out the remaining few droplets again, weakly bringing your arm up to push him away gently when the shocks of overstimulation begin to take over. chan dips down to place one, final kiss on your lips, smooching down to your chin as a way to say you did well. his actions make you heart beat out of your chest, but you don’t say anything about the domesticity of them.

you wonder if he ever treated aeri like this after having been intimate with her.

“go in first. i’ll clean up the car.” chan clears his throat after a short while, not daring to make eye contact with you as he quietly pulls your underwear back up your legs. you watch in silence while he sits up, looking for a rag to fix the mess you two made when that same awkward air you’ve gotten used to facing with him enters the atmosphere, leaving you to try and ignore how it tugs at the strings of your soul as you give a curt nod. “don’t forget the beer.” you remind him before swinging the door open to step outside, finding yourself back in the nipping cold of the winter night.

you try and stand on your wobbly legs to straighten out the creases of your dress, paying no mind to the way your skin echoes with the ghost of chan’s previous touch. behind you, you can hear him rolling down the windows to let the musky smell of sex out of jake’s backseat, and you almost dare to sneak a glance back until deciding against it, knowing it’ll just hurt more. instead, you close your eyes and take a deep breath, opening them to land on the small balcony of your friend’s apartment where the rest of your group seems to have already gathered from the silhouettes you can see through the foggy glass. your conscience feels heavy with the weight of the knowledge that aeri is up there too, but you brush it off, just like all the other times you have.

i didn’t do anything wrong, you tell yourself, i’m still in the clear. that’s the second lie you’ve tried to believe in these last two months. a long sigh escapes your lips at that realisation, but you bite it down when making your way back inside the building, choosing to rack your brain on what shitty excuse you’ll have to provide this time for being gone so long.

. . .

to your surprise, nobody bothers to question why either you or chan disappeared, simply whisking you back in conversation about unrelated topics when you walk in through the door a few minutes before him. as per usual, your heart still feels heavy when you watch aeri laugh at something heeseung and sieun are arguing over, but you cover it up by letting out a noise of amusement yourself, hoping it throws off any suspicion that might be directed your way. you don’t bother turning your head upon hearing jake’s delight at the sight of chan entering his apartment with the very much requested pack of beer too, deciding to force a smile at whatever point heeseung is busy making over looking back no matter how much your body itches to do so.

it’s even worse how from the corner of your eye, you can see aeri shifting uncomfortably on her feet at her ex-boyfriend’s second arrival, her expression dropping in the slightest so as to not draw attention to herself, but it’s still enough for you to notice. it only makes the weight of your actions dawn on you further, and you can’t help but let your mind wander as to what she’d say if she knew what truly went on behind closed doors. despite your best efforts to bury those thoughts beneath you though, you know there’s nothing you can do to make amends to the problems you’ve created yourself. after all, you’ve got to reap what you sow.

the party continues to kick in on full swing after that, with you and aeri both doing your best to keep your distances from chan for all too different reasons. it doesn’t help that you can feel someone’s stare raking across your figure throughout the duration of the evening, and when you finally do decide to sneak a glance in that direction with expectations of finding chan ogling you over, you’re met with a different answer—

for it isn’t you he’s busy looking at, but rather your best friend that’s been glued to your side since the beginning of the night.

he averts his gaze as quick as he’d cast it when you catch him, seamlessly blending back in discussion with whatever nonsense changbin is rambling about this time, acting like he hadn’t just been getting an eyeful of his ex-girlfriend moments prior. you also don’t miss how he fiddles with the old ring that adorns his right hand, long fingers twisting it around the middle digit in a way that’s reminiscent of his past behaviour, or at least based on what you’d often find him doing back then.

his actions spark a memory deep from the confines of your brain, one you wish you hadn’t remembered as the vision of chan asking you to help pick out promise rings for him and aeri crosses your mind. it was raining heavily that day, but he’d insisted that the two of you go out in secret anyways so he could buy his then girlfriend a token of his love and appreciation. he’d claimed you knew her taste the best and could therefore help in selecting a better possible gift for their upcoming anniversary than he ever could.

you’d hesitantly agreed, and although you weren’t sure how it would all play out, you later found yourself sharing an umbrella and visiting various jewellery stores to point out all the designs you knew your closest friend would adore. chan had settled soon on a matching pair for the two of them, beaming in your direction with a bright smile that left you weak in the knees despite however much you tried to hide it. a few days later, aeri excitedly showed off her own silver band to you, buzzing about how he’d chosen the perfect present that she couldn’t wait to replace with a real one in their future; you couldn’t help then but think if he ever told her it was all your idea instead of his.

“hey, can you hold my phone?” your best friend’s voice cuts through your inner replay, and you blink in a daze to find her facing you, expression innocent. “hyunjin asked to play beer pong, and i don’t have any pockets to put it away in safely.” she explains at your confused face, but all you can do is nod as you robotically outstretch your arm to take it off of her. unfortunately or fortunately, that’s when you notice it—

the same matching ring on her hand.

aeri doesn’t pay you any attention when she drops off her device into your awaiting palm, not even realising you’re zeroed in on the jewellery that decorates her left hand with a fire burning in your eyes that you’re both ignorant of. you don’t stop gaping even when felix shakes your shoulder, asking you what you’re so fixated on before leaving you be under the impression that you’re probably just drunk out of your head. meanwhile, you’re still frozen in place, everything around you seeming to slow down.

why is chan wearing a ring he bought for his ex-girlfriend two years ago to a party he knows she’s going to be at? no, why does said ex-girlfriend also have her matching pair of the ring on her hand at a party she too is aware he’s going to be present for? much less, why are either of them hung up on each other to the point they’re carrying around reminders of their past relationship with one another? you know the answer to all these questions, but you don’t wish to sit and delve into them in fear you might throw up at the conclusion they’ll give you. instead, all you can do is squeeze the can of seltzer you’d spiked in your hand dangerously tight out of unwanted emotion, enough for some of the liquid inside to spill out. you can’t be bothered to care about it though, just like how you can’t be bothered to care about how anybody in their right mind could probably see you gawking at chan right now.

you watch as he cracks up at a joke seungmin makes, his head falling back in a fit of laughter you’ve been a happy witness or recipient of multiple times, yet this time it fills you with emotion that you don’t wish to identify in fear it’d mean something more than what you’re capable of confronting right now. even so, you can’t stop the train of questions invading your thoughts at the view in front of you. did he laugh like that with aeri? smile so wide with her? couldn’t help the joy that spread across due to her presence? maybe that’s why he came today, because he couldn’t take his mind off of her, especially seeing as he was wearing a symbol of their time spent before right now.

but, what does that say about you in this picture? were you just a scapegoat to escape all those feelings for him? had you been one this entire time, only deluding yourself into thinking what you both had translated into a situation deeper and could potentially progress into one even more had things happened under different circumstances? the more you think, the more you feel nauseous, and you can’t stop yourself from diverting your gaze to where your best friend is, observing her concentrated face as she attempts to aim a ping pong ball into one of the lined up solo cups. your eyes involuntarily flicker to the ring on her finger once more, its evident shimmer reflecting in the light causing you to clutch your drink tighter.

you’re not a jealous person by any means. you know your boundaries, hence you know chan isn’t yours. he isn’t an object you can own, and neither are you to him. that was the unspoken agreement you both nodded on when you got into this entire ordeal— you’re both free to see other people openly in front of aeri as long as it’s not each other, because the latter you manage in secret despite the shame that surges in you two upon doing so. it doesn’t matter if you wish to stake your claim on him, to see the marks you leave on him evident on his skin the next morning for him to show off other girls who think they stand a chance at him taking them to bed. it doesn’t matter how much your heart aches when you wake up to the blanket strewn aside from his absence, the sheets long gone cold to indicate that he’d left hours ago. it doesn’t matter how much you wish to cling onto his arm in public and profess your.. feelings for him in front of everyone else.

it simply doesn’t matter, it never did. chan’s never been yours, and he never will be anytime soon.

20:51 PM from: Myself meet me at the upstairs bathroom in five

you punch in the message before you can even think, watching it turn from delivered to read in a matter of seconds. the three dots next to chan’s side of texts appear, indicating that he’s typing, but you choose to lock your device rather than waiting like a dog to see him reply. instead, your feet lead you to your designated location, taking one step at a time leisurely as opposed to in a rush so as to not draw unwanted attention to yourself. right as you reach the door handle, your phone pings with a familiar ringtone.

20:52 PM from: dni!!! Reacted with “👍🏻” to your message

you sigh. tonight was going to be a long night.

. . .

skin slapping. heavy panting. low grunting.

that’s all you can hear from where you’re splayed across the sink in the small confines of jake’s bathroom, aside from the occasional thumping of music booming from downstairs. if you strain your ear enough, you’ll be able to make out the lyrics to the cliche song that’s come up on shuffle, but you honestly lack the mentality to care about that right now, especially considering the way chan has your legs pushed apart in favour of drilling his length into you. each thrust is rapid and fervent in nature, seeming to knock the wind out of your lungs to the point you don’t even realise how loud you’re being until his hand comes up to shove two fingers in your mouth. “be fucking quiet.” he sneers, leaving you to drool everywhere. the only reaction he spares when you try muffle out an apology is a sickening smirk at that too.

“needed this, didn’t you, slut? always need to be filled with some cock like a bitch in heat.” chan chuckles, but there’s a dark edge to his voice that sends shivers crawling up your spine. he presses down on your tongue with the pads of his fingers, and you can’t stop the garbling of spit choking past your lips from the way his thickness nestles deep inside you. each heavy drag of his dick against your rough walls leaves you clenching and attempting to buck your hips forward, but you can’t even manage that with the grip he has on your waist. the mere idea that all chan really needs to restrain you is the simple strength of his one hand sends your mind reeling, so much so that you don’t even realise he’s speaking to you until the hand that was previously in your mouth pulls out to slap light and wet against your cheek.

“i asked you a question, whore.” chan growls, the sound resonating warm within your stomach despite the mean undertone to it as his movements still. you blink up at him in confusion at this point, doe eyes brimming with tears that threaten to spill from the loss of pleasure in a way that has chan damn near finishing. it doesn’t help that he’s buried to the hilt currently, hissing painfully at how you squeeze down on him in involuntary instinct. for a split second, you swear you see the ridges on his face soften, and the manner in which he looms over you feels filled with more comfort than intimidation, but that smidge of emotion vanishes as soon as it arrives. “i said,” chan’s tongue swipes over his bottom lip. “do you wanna get caught?” you rapidly shake your head no at that, and chan cocks his head to the side.

“oh, really?” he muses, nails sliding over to dig into the supple flesh of your thigh, making you whine out loud. “‘cause with the way you’re making so much noise like that, i’d have assumed the opposite.” with a click of his tongue, his actions resume. luckily, all that escapes you is a loud gasp this time, an anxious clamp of your palm over your mouth barely covering up the rest of your lewdity. you wish so desperately to refute, to plead him in favour of slowing down and having some mercy, but the sensation of his bulbous cockhead slamming roughly into that one spot only sends stars in your vision and prevents your previous desires.

your body jerks in chan’s hold even more when his same hand still lubed with your saliva finds it way between where you’re connected, leaving you to suppress a pathetic whimper that longs to bubble out of your throat as he presses the tips of his fingers to your swollen clit. his touch is harsh, filled with an overwhelming need to make you burst at the seams, but the fear that lingers in the back of your head refuses to let you fall apart so easily, not when aeri is barely a flight of stairs from your vicinity. chan decides he isn’t fond of the silence you’re giving him though, pulling out with a quiet mumble for you to get down and face the mirror. he sheaths himself back in just as quickly, setting an unforgiving pace from the seemingly more accessible position, and this time, you really can’t stop the long drawn out moan that escapes you.

“j-just like that, yeah, baby? all those filthy noises are just for me, aren’t they?” he sounds more delirious this time, presumably drunk off the essence of this situation from the possessive gibberish he’s spouting, just like he always does in the heat of the moment. unfortunately for you, you’re no better than him, nodding furiously in agreement as you babble high-pitched and breathy. “so good, sir! s-so, so fucking good, feels so good! wan’ cum f’you, p-please. ‘m a good girl, please lemme cum, please, please, please.” small stutters spew out of you mid-sentence, but neither of you can be bothered by them, too wrapped up in the throes of all-consuming passion and contempt even to register what’s being said.

“such a nasty, nasty girl.. getting fucked by your best friend’s ex. don’t you feel a-any shame?” chan groans almost wearily in midst of his lust-filled haze, eyes catching yours from the reflection of the mirror that’s displaying you getting absolutely wrecked right now. the sight of you so fucked up and in bliss, no coherent thought visible by the looks of your dazed expression and tongue halfway lolling out— it all has him burning with hot, rampant hunger. hunger for you, hunger to claim you. “look at yourself.” he rasps, fingers clutching at your chin to force you into meeting where he is. “look how dirty you are, fuck. what would she say about you wrapped so warm and snug around my cock? hm? think we should— ah. think we should call her in and find out?”

the tears that were brewing in your waterline are streaming down your face by now, horrifically mimicking the disgusting manner in your wetness seeping and dripping down chan’s balls. you feel awful. downright terrible and tainted, forever branded by the searing touch of chan’s skin grazing against yours because that’s what you are, that’s what you have been for the past two months. down from the night you let him lead you into his sheets, following the countless occasions you found yourself returning there, and finally falling to now, your underwear strewn across the tiles of jake’s bathroom as you spread your legs for the same man who broke your best friend’s heart; the same man who you’ve let into yours after very consciously disregarding the repercussions of your actions.

you’re truly a loathsome piece of work.

“think she’d like to watch me fill this pussy up? watch me shoot my load deep inside you over and over again until i’m sure it’s taken?” chan mutters, hot breath fanning against your sweaty neck. “maybe i should breed this stupid cunt full of my seed and send you back out there with it spilling past your legs. that way, every time you sit down, you’ll feel it inside you.” the mental image of his release lodged in your walls as you’re surrounded by all your friends, surrounded by the one person you’ve both been hiding from, all of them oblivious to the way he’s staked his claim on you except for the shared knowledge between you two and you two only— it has you quivering to the point you physically keen in his hold. chan, however, just laughs sadistically at your reaction.

“you’ll feel it as a reminder of me, yeah? a reminder that you’re just as terrible as me. coming to me to get this slutty cunt stuffed even though you know you shouldn’t.” he continues to whisper. “after all, it takes two to tango, darling.” chan makes it a point to tilt his hips up in an effort to ensure his mushroom tip hits your g-spot with precise force, all the while breathlessly uttering more sickening words in your ear in hopes of fulfilling your need for relief.

surely enough, the combination of his cock shoving itself past your opening and his guilt-inducing remarks that only make you sob harder work you up to the point of no return. all it really takes after that is one touch of his thumb to your pulsating nub to eventually have you seizing up in no time, your pussy messily tightening and gushing as your high crashes over you in large waves of ecstasy. it seems to trigger him too, because by the time you even realise you’re there, chan’s twitching and leaking spurts of thick cum inside you. there’s so much of it that it trickles past where he’s got you plugged up, and you barely comprehend yourself pushing a hand near your oozing hole to catch it on your fingertips.

you both come to slowly, ragged breathing that fills the air growing quieter to pair with the musk of the room. chan’s gaze is still trained on you through the mirror, unreadable just like always whenever you’ve made the same mistake again, but you take the opportunity in this instance specifically to raise the hand that’s collected his seed in it to your mouth, proceeding to lick up the droplets of his excess release. even though you don’t catch his stare in the reflection, you can still feel it burning holes through your head, a fact that only leaves goosebumps rising over your skin. it’s only when you pull your hand away once more to catch the last of his remaining cum that he decides to finally interject, grabbing your palm in his coarse one with hooded eyes. they’re blown out when he tugs your back flush into his chest, the impact leaving his length pushing deeper inside, and they’re blown out when his fingers wrap around your neck to give it a slight squeeze, the little loss of oxygen making your mind spin.

“you think that’s funny? teasing me even after i just fucked you? after i left my mark on you and made sure you know that you’re mine?” chan murmurs, lips sultrily ghosting the shell of your ear. you want to fixate on what he’d addressed you as, let it marinate in your thoughts and brood over it for the next weeks to come even if it was just an absentminded slip of the mouth, but your focus is interrupted by the moving of his hips against yours picking up once more. the previously repeated actions send his dick driving into you again, breaching your cervix and pressing deliciously into every nook and cranny in a way that has you nearly losing your footing, but chan is quicker to hold you up with his free hand. “w-wait, ‘m still sensitive.” you manage to tremble out at a particularly well-placed graze of his cock, but chan doesn’t seem to care, grinding into you even more eagerly at your admission to the point you struggle to keep the sounds spilling out you at bay.

there’s a resounding knock on the door all of a sudden, one that makes your breath hitch and your chest twist in uneasiness. some part of you feels wary and on edge, and you would assume chan’s movements would halt at that, but he doesn’t show any signs of stopping, ignoring your frantic attempts to make him do so by holding you in place instead as he begins to pick up the pace. “s-stop, we’ll get caught.” you heave out upon the noise of skin slapping rising in volume. you do your best to stand your ground, to avoid the gradual closing of your eyes and the mushy fog of your brain clouding over in euphoria, but it’s to no avail. you’re about to let go of your inhibitions completely, to forget about what had just happened and throw caution into the wind in order to lose yourself in the moment, until—

“y/n, i know you’re in there with chris.”

. . .

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

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kashverse · 5 months ago

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reading in the bathtub is an art. a refined, luxurious experience that not everyone can afford—because first, you need a bathtub.

nanami knew this when he was investing in real estate. a house? non-negotiable. a bathtub? even more so. so, naturally, his bathroom is a haven. a scientifically optimized oasis. the water is at the perfect temperature, bubble bath carefully selected for its all-natural ingredients and sophisticated scent. a wooden tray stretches across the tub, holding a single lit candle (subtle, not overwhelming), a perfectly arranged plate of snacks, and a glass of wine—because real men drink wine. and while he lounges, perfectly balanced between relaxation and intellectual stimulation, he reads the american economic review or whatever riveting financial analysis he’s stumbled upon that day. nanami does not work overtime. because this is what he comes home to.

meanwhile, on the other side of the city, gojo is living the same dream. sort of. he saw a tiktok about this once. self-care. candles. a book. it all seemed very aesthetic. so, naturally, he has a copy of true literary genius—diary of a wimpy kid—in his hands. but gojo is not a silent reader. he is an orator, and the rubber ducks in front of him are his enraptured audience. his narration is passionate, animated, occasionally breaking off into dramatic reenactments. eventually, he gets bored of the actual text, so the book is unceremoniously shoved to the side, where half of it immediately gets submerged. whatever. duck storytime has begun. one of them is an undercover agent. another is hiding from their tragic past. the smallest duck, whom he has named "gregory," is framed for tax evasion. it is a gripping tale.

geto, on the other hand, approaches bath time with absolute precision. self-care isn’t just a routine. it’s a philosophy. he enters the bathroom with purpose, hair already secured in a perfectly executed, no-nonsense bun. his book of choice? the latest issue of vogue, which is not just being read—it is being annotated. entire pages are flagged with sticky notes, margins scribbled with commentary on new product lines, runway looks, places to visit, people to admire, things to buy. he is invested. if someone walked in, they might mistake this for serious academic research. in a way, it is.

meanwhile, toji does not have a bathtub. neither has he asked for one, nor have you asked for one, so he does not see the point. but this does not mean he is not a man of literature. he reads—specifically, your ninth-grade diary. in the shower. out loud. your innermost thoughts during your peak one direction era echo against the tiles as he smirks, flipping the pages with all the arrogance of someone who now holds ultimate leverage over you. he will never let you live this down.

choso, bless his heart, does not understand why people read in the bath, but he is fully committed to the concept. he brings a book in with full enthusiasm, and he will read it. even as his fingers wrinkle into pruned, soggy raisins. even when the pages begin to warp from the moisture. he is determined.

sukuna does not read. not because he can't—he just refuses. he will soak, though, reclining in the bath like some ancient king surveying his kingdom. you will read to him. because that is how it was done ‘in his time.’ and he sees no reason to change tradition. if you attempt to stop, he will nudge you with his foot until you resume. "keep going," he grumbles, eyes shut, thoroughly enjoying this outdated, borderline royal treatment. whatever.

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augustjoy · 4 months ago

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The Nanny

Based on the following ask: @itzvenus04I was thinking of like sunshine soft girl reader x cloudy and broody serious Aaron meet as he hires her as Jack nanny because Jack liked her the best and of course Jack thinking his nanny is perfect he tries everything he can to get his dad and nanny together which ends up working and Jack is happy because he has another mommy now, not to replace Haley but to love him like a mom because a kid always needs his mom no matter what age

Aaron Hotchner x Nanny! Fem Reader Fluff Word count: 2185

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, significant age gap (non-specified, but legal), Sunshine! Reader, Grumpy! Hotch, reader is a nanny, Jack being the ultimate match maker, boss-employee relationship/blurred lines, let me know if I missed anything.

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You had been working for Aaron Hotchner for the last six months. You’d gone out of your comfort zone and signed up for one of those nannying sites, the ones where parents would go on and select your profile…almost like online dating. The only thing is, you were looking for a live-in nanny position, see, you’d just graduated college and had been living on campus and now that you had graduated, you needed a place to stay until you found a permanent residence. You could only stay in your friend’s studio apartment for so long.

Aaron hadn’t been too sure about hiring a nanny, especially a live-in one. Jessica had suggested it, seeing as she’d become increasingly busy helping her dad and taking on additional shifts at the hospital. She told him that it would be good to have someone at the house taking care of Jack, running him to and from school and soccer, someone who’d cook and clean and…the more she described it, the more Aaron thought it would be like hiring a 50’s housewife.

He sat on the idea a while; he hardly thought it would be appropriate for a man of his age to hire some young woman to come into his home and play wife while he was out working all day. He figured the best thing he could do would be to look into one of those sites that match nannies to families based on needs.

That is how he had chosen you and honestly, you couldn’t have been more grateful for that fact. Jack had been the best kid and getting to watch him felt more like hanging out with a child of your own…he’d made you feel so welcomed and it filled you with joy. You’d enjoyed the Hotchner boys, although you didn’t see Aaron all that often, when you did, it always stirred up a fuzzy feeling within you.

Aaron was out of town at least once a week each month, those weeks were hard on Jack, but you’d made sure to fill the time with building Legos, coloring, baking, and soccer practice in the yard. You’d made all of Jack’s favorite meals and read him and extra bedtime story on nights Aaron was out of town. Anything it took to make things easier on him.

Truthfully, you liked the weeks when Aaron was out of town, it made your life a little easier, because despite that fuzzy feeling Aaron gave you…he wasn’t always the sweetest person in the world. He was kind of a grump.

In the six months you’d been working for him, you had learned that Aaron was an FBI agent, more specifically the Behavior Analysis Unit. You knew he was in charge of the team he worked with and that they travelled quite frequently. Jack constantly referred to him as a superhero. You learned that he loves the Beatles and the most important thing in his life is his son.

The other thing you had learned in that time was that he detested you. He’d made an effort to learn as little as possible about you, promptly changing the subject any time you’d said anything, even remotely personal. Little did you know, Jack was sure to fill his dad in on all the wonderful things he’s learned about you.

Jack had formulated a plan; he was going to get you and his dad together. In the short time you’d been working with them he’d been able to see that his dad was happier and less stressed out. His dad had more time to spend with him when you were around. He also loves you; you are sweet, and you take care of him, and it reminds him of his mom. That had made him sad at first, but very quickly, he came to appreciate it.

So, he decided he would help you by giving you insight into his dad’s favorite things. On the other hand, he’d talk you up to his dad in hopes to break his walls down just enough to let you in.

“Alright Jack, your lunch is all packed, can you run and grab your shoes and your backpack?” You asked him.

“Okay! Did you put one of our brownies in there?” He asked, jogging down the hall.

“Of course I did!” You called after him. “Mr. Hotchner, I packed your lunch as well. I was planning on going to the grocery store after I drop Jack off, was there anything in particular you’d like for dinner this week?”

“Whatever works.” He huffed.

“Okay, well I will email over the menu I had in mind then and if there’s anything you don’t like, just let me know.” You offered.

“Will do.” Aaron grabbed his bag and turned away. “Bye buddy, have a great day today.” Aaron pressed a kiss to the top of jacks head before ruffling his hair and heading out to work.

“You ready bud?” You asked.

“Make a pot roast with mashed potatoes.” Jack said.

“What?”

“It’s dad’s favorite.” Jack smiled.

You were putting the finishing touches on dinner while Jack was working on his homework at the kitchen island. You had taken his suggestion and went with a pot roast for dinner, figuring it couldn’t make matters worse.

“Alright bud, go wash your hands and put your homework in your folder.” You requested.

“Okay!” Jack made his way down the hall.

You set the table with three perfect place settings, you’d poured jack a glass of chocolate milk, yourself a small glass of wine, and Aaron his usual scotch. You plated up the food, mashed potatoes, pot roast with carrots, and a small salad. It was moments like this, waiting for Aaron to some home that your mind drifted to thoughts of truly sharing this domesticity with him.

You imagine him walking through the doors, placing his briefcase down, coming up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder. Complimenting how good the food smells and asking you about your day. In these little daydreams, he was warm and sweet, not his usual grumpy self.

The door opens and you immediately hear the huff that escapes him. Exhaustion surely seeping in after a long day of work. This is part of why you loved this job, despite his coldness, you enjoyed taking care of the Hotchner boys. It made you happy knowing that he could come home after work and not worry about anything.

“Daddy!” Jack hollered.

“Hey buddy.” Aaron knelt down and lifted Jack into his arms.

“It smells good in here, what’s for dinner?” Aaron asked.

“Well, Jack informed me that pot roast is one of your favorites, so I changed up the menu a bit and made that for dinner. I uh – I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh, that’s – that’s fine.” Aaron let out an awkward cough.

So, the three of you sat and ate dinner. While you ate, Jack rambled on and on about his day and all the things that happened while he was at school. You were desperately trying to attend to the conversation, but you couldn’t help but be distracted…Aaron’s gaze had been lingering on you for the last ten or so minutes.

“Hey jack, why don’t you put your plate in the sink and go get ready for bed huh? I’ll come up in a bit to read a story with you.” Aaron said, his gaze never leaving yours.

Jack nodded his head and followed the directions his dad gave him. All the while Aaron continued to look at you, surely profiling you. You were becoming uneasy, sitting there under his gaze.

“What is it?” You asked.

“Nothing. Thank you, for dinner, it was delicious.” He complimented.

“Oh, um of course! I’m glad you liked it.” You blushed.

It was a rare day that Aaron had off, on these days he likes to let you off the hook. This allows you to shop, go out with friends and get lunch, get your hair and nails done, the whole nine yards. Jack thought that a day out with his dad would be the perfect time to talk about you. They had been talking about how you helped him study for his spelling test this week which led to him getting 100%.

“Hey dad?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“Why do you hate her?”

“What I don’t – I don’t hate her. I just, I ugh…I don’t know bud. I don’t hate her, she’s great.” Aaron stumbled over his words.

“You aren’t very nice to her though. Which is weird because she’s really nice and she makes us both happier, I can tell.” Jack smiled.

“I’m nice to her!” Aaron defended.

“No, you’re not. But you can be! Her birthday is coming up, we should have a party!” Jack suggested.

It was your birthday, you had been thankful it was on a Saturday this year, and Aaron was off which meant he’d likely give you the day off and you could spoil yourself a bit. So, after sleeping in a bit later than usual, you made your way to the kitchen only to be met with the Hotchner boys making pancakes.

“Well good morning!” You greeted.

“Happy birthday!” Jack shouted, wrapping his arms around your neck from his position on the counter.

“Thanks bub! Are you making chocolate chip pancakes? You know those are my favorite.” You teased.

“Yeah! It was dad’s idea to make them.” Jack informed.

“Oh – um thanks.” You were caught by surprise.

“Of course. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” You shyly smiled.

The three of you sat and enjoyed breakfast together, it had felt different than usual. Aaron had been different today, happy almost.

“So, I figured, since I’m home today, perhaps you could take the day off?” Aaron suggested. “I do have something to do around 6 though so if you could be back by then?”

“Really? That would be awesome, I really need to get my hair and nails done.” You laughed.

You had texted a few of your friends and met them at the nail salon, getting your fingers and toes done while filling them in on the latest…more specifically Aaron’s new kind side that he’s been showing.

They had told you it was because he likes you, to which you were quick to shut down. They all knew you had a soft spot for the older man, and they were sure he liked you back, especially when he was pushing you away. One of your friends claimed it was because he probably didn’t want to “corrupt” you.

After getting them to finally relent in their teasing, you had suggested lunch. The girls treated the whole day, nails, lunch, hair and lastly a new dress from your favorite boutique.

“You should wear that one home.”

“Why?”

“For Mr. Hotchner…show off your hot self. Maybe get some for your birthday!”

“Oh my gosh, stop! It’s not like that.” You shook your head.

“Girl maybe it could be…just wear the damn dress!”

And so, you did. You changed into the new dress and had your hair perfectly styled and your nails done. You knew Aaron had somewhere to be at 6, but you figured you could at least catch him off guard prior to then.

You parked your car and made your way around to grab your bags, then headed up the two little steps that led into the house. Before fishing your key out of your bag, you paused, inside you could hear Aaron and Jack talking…something about balloons and streamers. You smiled to yourself, quietly letting yourself in.

“Hey guys! What’s all this?”

“You’re early!” Jack said.

You looked around and felt nothing but warmth radiating through you. There were balloons and streamers decorating the living and dining rooms, sat on the table was a birthday cake along with a few gifts. Pizza from your favorite place was sat on the coffee table and the living room had been rearranged so the guestroom mattress was laid out with cozy blankets and pillows, while your favorite movie was queued up on the TV.

“You did all this…for me?” You gasped.

“Yeah! We wanted to show you how much we love you.” Jack said, hugging you.

“You do?” Your gaze met Aaron’s.

“Yeah, we do.” He said.

That night the three of you ate pizza and laid on the mattress in the living room, watching movies. Before it got too late the boys made sure you had cake and opened your gifts, Jack had picked out a paint set for you, knowing you enjoyed watercolors. Aaron, well, he’d gotten you a first edition of your favorite novel. You’d been rendered speechless.

The three of you made your way back to the living room and laid down to watch a final film. Jack had been snuggled up to you, quickly falling asleep, and you fell not long after. Aaron smiled at the sight of you two, it had gotten him thinking that having you around may not be so bad after all.

Taglist: @bernelflo@pastelpinkflowerlife@just-moondust @khxna

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kiwriteswords · 6 months ago

Note

I have a great idea for a one shot.. I cannot stop thinking about jealous BAU!reader with Hotch. Like a detective won't stop flirting with him and reader is just super jealous and hotch is super cocky about the WHOLE thing. And of course Rossi knows about both their feelings and he meddles. That's super specific lol.

I lit a thin green candle to make you jealous of me [Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader]

Masterlist || Ao3||Word Count: 1.4k|| AN: I hope you enjoy! Thanks for sending this in xx!

Tags/Warnings: no use of y/n, jealousy, canon-typical themes, bau!reader, cocky!Hotch, meddling!Rossi, Aaron Hotchner POV

Aaron Hotchner stood at the front of the local police station, briefing the officers on the case details. As the Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, he was accustomed to commanding attention, his tone authoritative yet calm. Beside him, you stood with your arms crossed, your focus not entirely on the discussion. Hotch couldn't help but notice your distracted demeanor.

During the briefing, Detective Sarah Jacobs, a striking and charismatic local detective, leaned heavily against Hotch’s side of the table. Her laughter was a touch too loud; her glances a tad too lingering as she responded to his procedural instructions. Hotch, ever observant, picked up on the tension radiating from you. Every time Jacobs smiled at him, your jaw tightened, and your notes were suddenly scribbled with more force than necessary.

Post-briefing, as the team dispersed to gather more information, Jacobs found reasons to stay close to Hotch, her hand brushing his arm under the pretense of pointing to details on a map. Hotch glanced your way, catching you glaring at Jacobs from across the room. There was an unmistakable flash of jealousy in your eyes, and something about it spurred a rare mischievous streak in him.

In the car, with only the two of you, Hotch couldn’t resist teasing. “You know, she’s just being friendly,” he remarked casually, eyes on the road.

“You don’t need to tell me about ‘friendly,’ Hotch,” you replied, your tone sharper than intended. “I know what flirting looks like.”

Hotch’s lips twitched into a half-smile. “Does it bother you?” he asked, glancing briefly your way.

You huffed, looking out the window. “No, it doesn’t bother me. Why would it?”

That smile became a full-fledged grin now, hidden from your view. “Just checking,” he murmured, his voice low and amused. It was rare for Hotch to indulge in such personal banter, but the evolving undefined relationship between you made the boundaries blur at times.

Back at the station, Rossi pulled Hotch aside, his expression a mix of amusement and concern. “You’re playing with fire, Aaron,” he whispered, nodding subtly in your direction where you were meticulously organizing case files, avoiding looking in their direction.

“Dave, it’s nothing,” Hotch assured him, his voice a low rumble.

Rossi raised an eyebrow. “Nothing? That’s not what it looks like from where I’m standing. She’s clearly got it bad for you, and you’re not exactly pushing her away. What’s your angle here?”

Hotch’s gaze softened as he looked over at you. “There’s no angle, Dave. It’s just… new. We’re figuring it out.”

Rossi clapped him on the back. “Well, figure it out fast. She’s a keeper, and you’re not the only one who can see it.” With a knowing look, Rossi walked away, leaving Hotch to ponder his words.

That evening, as the team gathered to review the day’s findings, Hotch made a point of standing close to you, his presence a silent statement to any speculative eyes. His voice, when he addressed the team, was firm, but when he gave you a brief look, it softened just enough for you to notice.

Later, when Detective Jacobs approached Hotch with another question, he answered politely but with professionalism, putting a clear distance between them. You watched, your previous irritation fading slightly as Hotch’s attention turned back to you, his dark eyes locking with yours in silent communication.

As the team prepared to leave, Rossi sidled up to you, a smirk playing on his lips. “Don’t let him get too comfortable with all that attention,” he whispered conspiratorially. “But between you and me, I haven’t seen him this off his game in years. You’re good for him.”

You looked up at Hotch, who was waiting by the door, watching you with an unreadable expression. Walking over to him, you decided maybe it was time to have that conversation about what 'this' was. But as you reached him, all you said was, “Let’s get back to the hotel. We need to review the profile again.”

“Of course,” Hotch replied, a slight relief in his tone, but as you both walked out into the cool evening, his hand brushed against yours, a simple touch that promised more discussions to come.

As the BAU team headed back to the hotel after a long day, the atmosphere inside the SUV was thick with unsaid words. You were seated next to Hotch, the space between you charged with an undercurrent of tension and unsolved emotions. Throughout the ride, Hotch caught glimpses of your profile, illuminated by the passing streetlights. Your usual sharp focus seemed clouded with thoughts he could only guess at.

Upon arriving at the hotel, Hotch suggested a brief team meeting in the hotel conference room to finalize the profile adjustments. However, as the rest of the team filed out of the SUV, he held back, touching your arm gently. “Can we talk for a minute?” he asked, his voice low.

In the privacy of the parked vehicle, Hotch turned to face you fully. “About earlier—” he started, but you cut him off.

“It’s fine, Hotch. Detective Jacobs is just doing her job, right?” But your words came out more strained than you intended, and you couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

Hotch’s expression softened, his usual stern demeanor melting into a rare vulnerability. “It’s not just about Jacobs. I noticed you were upset. And if I’m honest, it bothered me more than it should have,” he confessed, his gaze steady and intense.

You finally looked at him, taken aback by his openness. “Why would it bother you?” you asked, a mixture of curiosity and something akin to hope flickering in your chest.

“Because,” Hotch paused, searching for the right words. “Because what I feel for you is... more than just professional concern. I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his admission. The jealousy that had been simmering within you now sparked into something more constructive—clarification of the bond you both were tiptoeing around. “I guess I was jealous,” you admitted, feeling a weight lift as you acknowledged it. “I didn’t like seeing her flirt with you. It made me realize how much I...”

“How much you what?” Hotch prompted, leaning closer, his interest evident.

“How much I care,” you finished, locking eyes with him. “And how little I like the idea of not knowing where we stand.”

Hotch reached out, his hand covering yours. “I feel the same,” he said simply. “I’ve been trying to keep things slow, professional, but maybe we’ve been fooling ourselves thinking we could control the pace of whatever this is between us.”

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips despite the seriousness of the conversation. “So, what do we do about it?” you asked, feeling more confident now that your feelings were out in the open.

“We redefine our parameters,” Hotch suggested. “Outside of work, we explore this... relationship. We see where it goes without the constraints we’ve been putting on ourselves.”

“And at work?” you asked, knowing the complications that could arise.

“At work, we remain the professionals we always are. But outside of it, I’m yours as much as you’re mine,” Hotch stated, his voice firm with resolve.

The conversation was a turning point. As you both joined the others in the conference room, there was a new sense of understanding between you. The meeting went smoothly, with both of you contributing to refining the profile. However, the real shift was noticeable afterward, as the team suggested grabbing a late dinner together.

Throughout the meal, you noticed Hotch shooting you small, knowing looks. You responded with subtle smiles, your earlier jealousy replaced by a sense of belonging and mutual recognition of the new, unspoken agreement between you.

Later that night, as you walked back to your room, Rossi caught up with you, a knowing grin on his face. “Looks like you two figured things out, huh?” he teased gently.

“Maybe we did,” you replied, your heart lighter than it had been in days. “Thanks, Rossi.”

Rossi winked. “Anytime. Just remember, the heart is just as vital a muscle to a profiler as the brain. Use them both wisely.”

With Rossi’s words in mind, you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you and Hotch would face them together, not just as colleagues, but as partners in every sense of the word.

Tag List:

@zaddyhotch

@estragos

@todorokishoe24

@looking1016

@khxna

@rousethemouse

@averyhotchner

@reidfile

@bernelflo

@lover-of-books-and-tea

@frickin-bats

@sleepysongbirdsings

@justyourusualash

@person-005

@iyskgd

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cupidkenji · 1 year ago

Text

killshot, baby

Pairing: Aaron Hotch x Doctor!Fem!reader Cw: Fluff (for real this time), LONGING (this is literally 9k words of pure yearning idek how I did that), mentions of blood, Hotch gets shot, Jack being adorable, Jack gets injured too :(, no explicit age gap, this is just rlly cute idk it's sweet I love Hotch so much I need him Summary: When you get hired as the BAU's stand-by medic, the team leader ends up being the hardest part of your job. Disclaimer: Reader is chubby! She's always fat coded, but like usual she's not described here. Just know a chubby person was imagined when writing this <3 WC: 9k (Hotch is the love of my life I could go on about him forever) This is definitely not medically accurate, please just enjoy for the sake of the story. I LOVE HOTCH I WANNA SMOOCH HIM

As weird as it was, band aids were the thing you remembered most from your childhood. You grew up as a canvas for any sort of scrape, cut, or bruise. Any wound that made your parents feel mildly worried to utterly terrified were ones that decorated your body frequently. You never tried to assign any meaning to why you became a doctor, simply crediting it as your call to the profession - to people. If you had to, though, your consistently bruised adolescent body is the best root cause you could think of. It seemed only right that the kid who couldn’t keep her skin in tact would grow to love helping others. You liked to think that’s how you kept your head an average size. Your bosses and co-workers had raved about your abilities no matter the job you took, and after a while you had to start prioritizing keeping your humility. You had started as just a kid with bruises.

You tended to ground yourself with those same memories in times like this. For as long as you’d worked in the hospital, you held some disdain for agents. You saw many federal ones, being so close to the HQ for divisions like Behavioral Analysis, but some locals swung by too. You’d had far too many experiences of them being snappy, demanding, and usually inconsiderate to the team of people trying to save someone. You understood the individuals you were committed to helping often got there by doing monstrous things, but demanding to talk to someone when they were bleeding out and half-conscious always forced your tongue between your teeth in an effort to stay respectful. Especially now, pushing a stretcher with 3 other workers while trying to shake off the feds trailing after him. You recognized them, Agents Rossi and Hotchner, if you remembered correctly.

“We’ll need to talk to him immediately.” The man - Rossi, you assumed, seeing as he was going gray and had less of a charge fueling his steps - spoke quickly as the two men followed your team.

“Be here when he’s out of surgery.” You didn’t bother to look back, trying to convey your annoyance and praying they got the hint.

“He’s killed three women and has another one hostage. We don’t have time.” The other one piped up, easily keeping pace with you.

Abandoning your previous strategy, you let your team push the man into the operating room, shutting the door behind them and whipping around to face the duo. “I understand that, sir, believe me.” You were more elevated than you would have liked, years of unease unfortunately slipping through your efforts to withhold them. “But whatever happened when you found him left him barely breathing. You can’t speak to a corpse. You’ll have your time when he’s stable. Go do your job and let me do mine.” You tensed your calves planning to turn around, but quickly felt the guilt catch up to you. “I’ll call you if he wakes up.”

“If?”

You sighed. You hated profilers. “I’ll call you.”

“Call the headquarters.” He was scribbling down a number on the back of a hospital business card. “Ask for Agent Hotch. We’ll be waiting.” You nodded your head once, taking the card from his hands. He started walking away as he thanked you. “We appreciate it.” Sure.

–

The surgery to save the man had been a trip and half. One of the bullets had internally ricocheted, and the other two were lodged next to crucial arteries. You praised your mother for giving you steady hands as you inched them out of him. It took you and your team six hours and fifteen minutes to get his heartbeat steady, you estimated he’d be knocked out all night. You should call, you thought. You had no idea how late these people worked but they were more than likely expecting to talk tonight and you didn’t know if that’d be possible. You fished the card out of your pocket, his handwriting was impressively neat for how fast he’d written the number. You heard the line ring twice before someone picked up.

“This is Penelope Garcia with the Behavioral Analysis Unit, who am I speaking to?”

“Uh- I’m Dr. L/n down at Quantico Med. I’m looking for Agent Hotch?” Your words tilted up at the end of your sentence. The casual nature of his shortened name left a weird feeling in your mouth after you said it. “I have an update on a patient he was asking after.”

“Is this about an unsub?”

“A what?” She lacked professionalism. You wondered briefly if he had just given you the phone number of an employee.

“I’m sorry-” she laughed slightly. “Is this about a suspect? Hotch told me someone might be calling.”

“Um - yeah it’s about a suspect. He was brought in earlier. Is Agent Hotch there? I’m sorry ma’am but I've been in an operating room for the past 6 hours and I want to go home.” You hoped she’d respect your honesty, you really didn’t have the patience to explain yourself to someone new.

She chuckled. “I got you honey, I’ll page you over.” The line went dead for a second before the ringing resumed. Please be quick, you prayed, get me out of this fucking hospital.

“Hotchner.” His voice was rougher over the phone. You guessed the long hours started to weigh on him by this time of night. You always felt it the most around this time, too.

“Hi, sir. This is Dr. L/n from the hospital. We managed to stabilize your guy, but it’s unlikely he’ll be up before tomorrow. I know it was assumed he’d be awake tonight but it took longer to operate than expected.” Your guys put 3 bullets in him, so sorry for the inconvenience. “I’ll be here all day tomorrow. You can come by at any time and I’ll let you in.”

“Are you positive we can’t talk to him tonight? I understand the situation is difficult but this case is extremely time sensitive. I’m sure that’s not lost on you.” You cursed the man for not being more condescending in his delivery. Thinking of the poor person either trapped or dead right now due to the guy you just saved made you sick.

“I know.” Fucking hell. “I can wake him up.” A quarter dose of adrenaline works wonders. “Be here in fifteen minutes. You won’t have much time to talk to him.”

“Thank you.” He hung up. You put your head in your hands. Just a little kid with bruises.

–

The layout of the BAU made you envious of the workers here. You’re sure they’d dealt with atrocities beyond what the average person could stomach, but you also worked within the belly of the beast and man were those hospital hallways claustrophobic. The daylight shone beautifully through the large windows, and you asked yourself if you’d be able to cope with all the paperwork in exchange for a feel like this. There weren’t any front desks, nowhere to sign in, so you sat in one of the chairs by the door and waited to see if something would happen. You had been specifically requested to visit the building , a note signed ‘Strauss’ being left with the hospital secretary. You didn’t like being called on by a stranger, it made you nervous beyond belief. You’re sure anyone walking by assumed you were being charged with something. Sweating like a sinner in church.

“Dr. L/n?” A woman was standing near you, having completely avoided your eyesight until now. “I’m the board supervisor, Erin Strauss. Thank you for coming.” The woman was nice enough, but she seemed rigid, clearly confident in her authority. She led you to her office and gestured to the chair facing her desk.

“I’ll cut right to the chase.” She smoothed her pencil skirt as she sat down. “The BAU is seeking a stand-by medic and I’d like to offer you the position. You’re revered highly by your previous places of employment and your current boss has only good things to say. Along with a personal reference by an employee of mine, you’re certainly a person of interest. You’d be working interchangeably with three other individuals, however you would be the first one called when needed.”

That is definitely not what you were expecting. You were almost immediately ready to turn down the offer. You didn’t work well with cops. You worked well in a hospital, going into the field to patch the wounds of both good and evil was a less than appealing deal to you.

“You’d be on call while you worked your current position at Quantico Medical, when you’re at home you can remain there, but you’ll be flying with the rest of the team when they leave. You will be entered into a federal database, and employed as a stand-in for hospitals near you when working abroad.” She went on to explain you’d be paid salary, and when you heard just how much you could add to your monthly income by doing this, you took it. You were doing fine, you definitely didn’t need the financial boost, but you had family that could use it. Your niece had been close to turning down college because of the cost, so some extra money could really set her up.

“Excellent. You’ll start your field training next Monday.” She was shuffling papers into a hefty stack as she talked. “Come back when you’ve finished this and I’ll arrange a team meeting.” The stack was even heavier than you expected when you picked it up. It was far too early to be regretting your decision.

–

The first day of training had been easy enough. You weren’t an agent, so you avoided having to learn weapons or combat. It generally consisted of learning efficiency, along with how to work properly with agents and the expected etiquette when dealing with an unsub. You had met the team only once by now. Everyone had been nice - Garcia especially - but aside from her nobody had been particularly welcoming. The conditions of your job were a bit strange, basically capitalizing on the what ifs that came with the FBI title, and that created a bit of distance between you and the rest of the team. They questioned the necessity of you, they’d survived this long without a stand-by medic with them, why did they need one now?

Above any disregard for those in law enforcement sat your stubbornness. You knew they were on the fence about you, the most logical thing for you to do now would be attend every session required of you and prove yourself through pure accomplishment. Easy in theory, much harder to execute when Aaron Hotch is the one you’re learning from. He was a good teacher - you’d give him that - he had a confidence to him that easily dominated a room, attracted eyes in a way other men couldn’t manage. You’d ignored the initial stir in your stomach when meeting him in favor of attempting to scold him and his partner. Now, it was much harder to quell the slight pound in your head or the sweat on your palms. He was just standing up front, lecturing on the importance of a team, but his attire was the only thing able to break through the haze in your mind. Every time he’d shown up at the hospital, he’d donned a suit, a slightly baggy blazer worked incredibly well as a shield to your curiosity. That had clearly changed, as he shed the overcoat when talking to the class, having just a white button up adorn his torso. You took notice of the rolled up sleeves, clearing your throat quietly to snap yourself back into focus. You had the intention of snuffing out this little thing of yours but were a living contradiction at this point, setting on the goal of avoidance while barely ignoring the sight of the veins on his arms. You pondered the thought of sleeping with some man at a bar just to get this out of your system, but remembered how little projecting attraction onto someone else helps a situation. In other words, you were probably fucked.

–

The first mission you worked with the team had you flying to a tiny Georgia town to investigate a string of bodies being found in ransacked homes. It seemed to be a simple motive, robbery turned to murder, but the team was called down to help once the kill count hit five. You had been expecting a long commercial flight, figuring you’d need to invest in a good neck pillow and some aspirin. Nobody had bothered to inform you the Bureau utilized private air travel, or that you’d be flying in one with people you’d known for two weeks. You’re sure you looked a little out of place, looking around the plane without being obvious you were doing it and adjusting to the sight of couches on planes. The others, having had this privilege for years now, took their respective seats. You had been nervous about that, unfortunately. The unsure feeling of where to sit reminding you painfully of high school cafeterias and inferior reputations. The only open seat happened to be right next to the man you’d been ducking away from the past two weeks. Lovely. He took a moment to look at you when you sat. You were prepared to talk to him, but for now you busied yourself with rummaging through your bag looking for nothing and pretending not to see him in your peripherals.

“Do you get sick on planes?” He seemed to have a deeper motive when he asked, like you saying yes would solve a puzzle in his head.

“Not really.” You’d only been on a plane a handful of times. “Turbulence can make me nervous, but I think that’s fairly normal.” You thought momentarily that perhaps he would blame your obvious anxiety on that instead of his proximity to you. He was a profiler, you’re sure he picked up on tells for nerves you weren’t even aware you had, but maybe he’d write it off. “Why do you ask?”

“You seem…” He trailed off for a moment, looking over your face to try and categorize your expression. “I don’t know, lost?” He smiled, light and easy, and you realized he was trying to reach out to you. The comfortability in the gesture made your head spin. It was like a shot of morphine, enveloping your body in a dull elation - an escape. You wanted that comfortability, wanted him to feel weightless around you. There had been a certain tension between the two of you since you started. He was warmer than the rest, but also more awkward. Your first real interaction had been an outburst, and it left you hesitant to talk to him.

You chuckled at his remark. “No I -” You shook your head as you spoke, as if shaking off his accusation. “Nobody told me about the jet. You’d think exclusive aircraft would be in the job predecessor.”

He nodded in agreement, holding a slight upturn on his lips. “Yes, you would.” He glances away to check the time, looking back to you quickly like you were his homebase. “Strauss has a habit of getting ahead of herself. Plus, we’re all pretty used to it by now. I have to remind her sometimes that normal provisions don’t have a TI.”

“I’m sure.” It was clear she’d worked with the unit for a while. “Even if they did, though, they’d never find another Garcia.” You thought of the woman, bright and sparkly and incredibly good at her job. “You guys are lucky to have her.”

He stared at you, losing a hint of the lightheartedness and letting a wave of genuinity intertwine with it. “You have her too, Y/n.” His eyes were like a trap, rich pools of honey just begging to tug you down in. “You’re a member of this team. Don’t think your newness makes you inferior to anyone else on it. We’re lucky to have you too.”

Fuck, you were whipped. “I really appreciate that, sir.”

He smiled, shaking his head and waving you off. “Don’t with the sir, please. It’s bad enough when Garcia does it. You can call me Aaron.” Not even the other team members called him that, a thought that seemed to strike you both simultaneously. “Or Hotch, whatever you prefer.”

You just looked at him, letting a smile rouse your lips and trying your hardest not to let the effect he had on you reach your face. “Ok.”

–

The first case had been good training wheels, simply tending to a vic who needed stitches and getting a feel for the life of a field agent. You’d been adjusting nicely to it, quickly getting used to working random hospitals and waiting to be needed on an active crime scene. The others had warmed up to you tremendously after getting back, opening their circle for one more, and you couldn’t be more grateful. A team like this was something you’d wanted for a while, growing more and more unsatisfied with the callous ER workspace by the day. Ironically, there was much more life in jobs dealing with murder. He had also been warming up to you. The two of you hit the status of work-place friends nearly instantly. The endearing encounter on the plane simmered inside you for a while. The memory of it prompting you to keep talking to him, always searching for a fix of the painkiller you’d felt that day.

You weren’t a profiler, but you were unfathomably infatuated, leading you to never miss his tone getting softer with you, or any one of his touches that lingered for just a second too long. It just barely bypassed the line of friendship, but you never lost sight of that linear barrier, so it was incredibly prevalent to you when he breached it. You scoffed at the idea of any reciprocity, brushing off every remark made by a coworker or the one horrific time you heard JJ refer to the two of you as ‘mom and dad.’ This wasn’t a plausible thing. This was a stupid workplace crush that was more of a hindrance than anything. The growing closeness between you and him would have it’s effects properly restrained to the confines of your head, only permitted to express themselves once you were away from the man. It was an odd dynamic, but Aaron wasn’t an obvious guy, so trying to define the edges of you two would only draw attention to the fact you had been looking at all. No thank you.

“Shit.” The team was sitting around the table going over their files. You were mainly there for support, as you were never a part of the lead up to the catch, the chase. You heard Hotch mumble the exclamation under his breath and looked over to see the trouble. He was looking down at his phone, jaw resting between his thumb and pointer finger. You got up and moved to sit next to him, the motion virtually ignored by everyone else as they continued searching for connections.

“Everything ok?” You mumbled to him, trying not to disturb your friends who were nearly nose-deep in their files.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Jack’s sitter canceled. I wanted to stay here to go over the latest crime scene but I guess I’ll have to raincheck.” The killings of your latest unsub had been increasing. You knew the collective stress that was starting to boil within the team. Him going home would only slow them down, a horrible addition to a killer that was speeding up.

You volunteered your night away before you even got a chance to think about it.

“I can watch him.”

Surprise was apparent in the raise of his eyebrows. “I appreciate it, but I couldn’t ask that of you.

You’re fairly certain you would do anything he asked of you, but the nobility of the man in this case almost made you roll your eyes. “No, please. I offered and I would love to. I’m not helping anyone just sitting here, and you leaving would slow them down. You know what to look for here, I don’t. I don’t want another girl going missing just cause your sitter flaked. I can do it.”

He seemed mildly speechless. “I -” He paused, trying to find the wording he wanted. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll send you the address, if you’re sure.” He looked at you with more adoration than you’d ever had directed at you, so intense your eyes instinctively ducked down. “Thank you, Y/n.” He was so touched by the action it made you slightly sad to think about. Had no one ever helped him? Maybe you were raised weird, this seemed hardly beyond common decency to you.

“What are friends for?” He exhaled a slight laugh in gratuitous agreement, but you saw the glimmer of his eyes dull slightly. The notion surely reflected in your own eyes as the words burned your tongue. Friends.

–

Jack was a delight. A well mannered, clearly well raised kid. Parts of his dad shined so vibrantly in him that you’re sure you’d be able to pick him out of a crowd based on mannerisms alone. Hotch had called Jack’s daycare, verifying your identity and giving you the ok to go pick him up. He seemed quiet on the way home, but rushed to give you a tour of the house, and excitedly led you to his line up of toy trains once you’d entered the place. There was a shift between you and Hotch that happened when you gave the offer. A shift that was now only just settling in you. This was his house. His space, his stuff, his place of security. He’d invited you into it, gave you permission to enter it, to exist within it, and it was strangely intoxicating. He was intoxicating, and you realized quickly how much you ached for the permanence of it. You’d made Jack dinner, played for a bit, went out for ice cream per his pleading, and wished him a peaceful goodnight when his bedtime rolled around. He’d dubbed you his ‘best babysitter ever’ and you knew as soon as the words hit your ears that you’d be watching him again. You’re sure situations like today popped up frequently for Hotch, you could be a valuable asset to him when you had free time. He would be saving money too. No need to pay a sitter when you were being paid by the Bureau every second you were there. Aaron had gotten home a few minutes past one, utterly exhausted and uncharacteristically apologetic. He was sorry for being gone so long, making you stay so late, everything and anything the man could apologize for was pouring out of his mouth. He’d welcomed you to stay, but his hair was messy from messing with it all night, and he’d ditched the suit jacket for a gray long sleeve. You’d wanted to take the opportunity, wanted to bask in the safety of him for as long as he’d allow it, but those restrained thoughts were clawing the walls of your skull with a vigor unlike anything you’d felt before. It would be abhorrent to dream about the man while in the confines of his home. You couldn’t do that - you wouldn’t. You brushed off any apology he could conjure and let him escort you out the door. His hand was on your lower back, and his voice was low from the siphoning nature of the day.

“Thank you, again.” He looked at you. “You’re a lifesaver.” You’d expected to hear some humor in his voice. The start of banter between friends, a casual appreciation for a job well done, but there wasn’t any. He sounded rough, slightly beat down, his eyes filled with a sincerity all aimed at you. A blend of pure adoration and a deeper level of dedication. Was this a commitment? What kind?

Heat bubbled in your stomach as you made eye contact. “Please.” You shook your head slightly. “Jack’s an angel. You’re clearly as good at this as you are profiling.” You nodded in the vague direction of Jack’s bedroom as you referenced the kid. “It was my pleasure. I’d love to do it again, if you’ll let me.”

He sighed out a small laugh and broke your gaze for a moment, looking back to you as he spoke. “I’d like that.”

–

You’d seen Jack a multitude of times after that. Aaron was never particularly fond of asking you, claiming that he appreciated the gesture but it was mainly Jack’s begging that made him cave. That, and your persistence. You liked Jack a lot, and more selfishly, you liked being around Aaron’s stuff. It was a little creepy, yes, but you felt better acquainted with him after being around his things. An energetic type of understanding, the type that deepened a connection without words. He was needed late tonight, and as much as you hated denying an offer to see Jack, you had priorities at the hospital. The previous sitter wasn’t able to watch him, so she gave a personal recommendation, and Jack got stuck with a stranger. You thought about him while working, probing and patching people half-focused with the desire to be elsewhere. You’d felt mildly guilty about it, but it’s not like it altered your work, so you figured it was harmless.

You wondered slightly if you manifested the event you were watching play out. You watched in pure disbelief as a sobbing Jack was being carried into the ER by a flustered blonde woman. There was blood staining the right sleeve of his shirt, pouring out of his skin in a surplus and completely soaking through the material. A jagged piece of glass was standing at attention in his wrist, having sliced through the fabric like butter. He was marked ‘urgent,’ who knows if the shard had hit an artery or where the glass had come from.

Most other doctors were busy, either operating or tending to patients. You’d walked to the front desk, remaining as calm as your racing heart would let you, and told the secretary to assign the case to you. “I know this one. Let me take him.” She just nodded, marking your name down as the primary doctor and allowing you to take him back.

Walking up to the blonde woman, you assumed this had been the new babysitter. She was a wreck, trying to explain what happened through her own hysteria while simultaneously having her words drowned out by the crying child. “It’s ok, ma’am.” You’d reassured her, obviously she hadn’t intended the injury. “Let me take him, I’m a friend of his father.” You saw the calmness dilate her eyes, making itself apparent in the relaxation of her tense shoulders. You removed the bleeding boy from her arms, holding him against you and cooing at him the way you would a baby. You took him to a stretcher a few feet away and laid him down, ensuring his wounded arm stayed flat in an attempt to slow the blood. He was on the brink of passing out, his body not having nearly enough energy for the sobbing on top of losing vital fluid. “Jack.” You addressed him directly, two more doctors aiding your transfer to an examination room. “I need you to stay with me, buddy. Just a little longer, I promise. You’re gonna be just fine.” You pushed with one hand, caressing his non-injured arm to emphasize your affection. “Just a little longer.” You looked at him in between looking forward to keep the stretcher straight, seeing that same adoration from his father’s eyes mirrored in his. You felt protective, realizing you cared for the Hotchners much more than you let yourself believe. Little kid with bruises, you skimmed through your origins in your mind in an attempt to center your focus. Just a little kid with bruises.

Two hours later, Jack was stitched up and sleeping soundly. You knew his sitter had called Hotch, probably as soon as something happened, and were not surprised to find him idle in a waiting room chair. He was leaned forward, head in his hands and knee bouncing violently. He heard footsteps getting closer, a feeling within him recognizing them as yours, and he looked up. His eyes were teary, tired. The look of a concerned father.

“How is he?” You’d never witnessed this type of worry in him, heard the amount of desperation in his voice.

You smiled lightly as a predecessor to Jack’s wellbeing. “He’s fine. Glass missed his arteries. We had him patched up in around an hour and a half. Gave him a lollipop and a light sedative to get him to rest. He should be all set to go in the morning.”

He sighed, and the amount of stress that audibly left his body made you feel a little lighter from where you stood. “Thank God.”

“Hey man, give us a little credit.” You joked, relieved when you heard the slight laugh come from his downturned head. Pity laugh, probably, but it was a cherished sound nonetheless.

“You have full credit, Y/n.” He shook his head, raising it to look at you. “Quite the hero.”

You almost physically recoiled from the term, rushing to correct him while maintaining the lighthearted nature. “Definitely not.” You rejected the praise. “Just doing my job. I’m glad I could help him.”

He leaned back in his chair, relaxing for a second before he planned to stand up. “Noble.” He chuckled. “But you helped my son. That’s about as heroic as it gets to me, doc.”

Blood rushed to your ears at your professional title being used so affectionately. “Go check on your kid, Hotch.” You waved back towards the direction of Jack, knowing that even though he was asleep, he’d want to see him anyway. You also hoped the slight distraction would draw his attention away from your increasingly flustered state. “You’ll have plenty of time to praise me.” You weren’t entirely sure you’d wanted the sentence to exit your mouth, but it was too late to bite your tongue.

He raised his eyebrows so slightly that you scolded yourself for having noticed. Such a minuscule action that seemed to move mountains within your brain. “Oh?”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes at your own remark. “I’m walking away. You know what I meant.”

“Mhm.” He smiled, nodding his head dramatically and rising from his seat. “Just name a time and place, doc. I’ll do good on that promise.”

You went momentarily braindead, hoping your eyes weren’t giving away the less than work appropriate feeling pumping through your veins. You stared baffled at him for what was definitely a millisecond too long before giving a half-shocked, half-flattered laugh and gesturing him away. “Say that when you’re not obviously sleep deprived and delirious and maybe we can arrange it.” The last thing you heard was him, laughing the way you do when you’re very serious but desperately trying to pass it off as a joke. You knew it well, having done it almost every time you were around him since you started. Comfortable, witty retorts between friends. “Have a good night, Aaron.”

Aaron, he thought. He’d remember that.

–

That had been the second shift between the two of you. Felt immediately by both parties and tossing you both into the deep end of whatever you’d been building with him. He’d been much more touchy, seemingly subconscious on his part but noticed by every part of your body, mind, and soul. You thought about what it could mean, then sunk even further into your incoherent mind when realizing just how subconscious the actions really were. He was just drawn to you. You had viscerally fought that conclusion as it came to you but it genuinely could not be anything else. He was touching you more because - whether on the surface or deeper down - he just wanted to, and that fact was wrecking you. You were so fucking into him that it hurt. Hurt to look at him or be in his home watching Jack or have his knee pressed against yours in the back of car during a team outing. It all hurt because he wasn’t yours. He seemed into you, too. Of course, you didn’t know to what extent. You worried maybe he hadn’t said anything yet because he simply didn’t like you enough, and that hurt more than any other factor. It was a foolish notion - one you would have abandoned instantly had you peeked inside his head - but alas, no such luck.

He’d been more relaxed, too. The two of you reaching a point in your relationship you hadn’t ever let yourself dream about. He was funny, achieving that lightness around you that you’d wanted from the start. He’d gotten riskier, amping up the dial on his remarks a bit. Starting with those like the hospital, ending with ones that made you have to take a breather in the room where they kept the coffee. It hadn’t gone unnoticed, per say, but the others were certainly ignorant to the true depth of the change. You simply couldn’t measure it by witnessing, you had to feel it. And fuck were you feeling it.

A week or so after Jack’s ER visit, you’d asked after him. You didn’t know if the regret was immediate, but it flooded through you quickly. Aaron got nervous, shifty, like you’d touched a live wire of his and he now had to patch it up before it blew. You got concerned, asking if something happened with his stitches or if Jack was now showing some sort of trauma response to the event. Was that even plausible? You weren’t sure, PTSD wasn’t exactly your strong suit. However, he quickly stated that wasn’t the case, noting that Jack was actually in perfect health and had been relentless about wanting you over for dinner.

“He’s grateful.” Hotch was smiling with paternal reluctance, proud of his son for having such good morals but also uncomfortable with the possibility of rejection he was facing. “He wants to see you, say thank you for “saving his life.” He emphasized the last bit in a sarcastic tone, both of you knowing his life hadn’t been in danger but also knowing that fact wouldn’t deter the boy from considering you some type of guardian angel. “Would you be up for it?” If you hadn’t been so focused on snuffing out the heat rushing to your face, you would have seen that same heat reflected in a slight pink across his cheeks.

“Definitely.” You smiled at the thought of the boy bugging his dad about getting you to the house. “When were you thinking?”

“Saturday night?” Both of you were scheduled to be off that day, and you found yourself begging whatever merciful being would listen to not have some lead to chase that day. “He’ll want the day to prepare.” He chuckled.

“Oh no.” You joked. Prepare? You couldn’t even begin to imagine what that meant. “Well, I am extremely curious to find out what an eight year old boy has to prepare for. How about seven? Would that be good?”

Aaron felt his palms start to sweat. He’d never actually been around his house when you’d been there, only seeing you on your way out. “That’s perfect.”

“Great.” You smiled, checking the time and realizing you needed to get going to the hospital. “I’m looking forward to it.” You nodded slightly as one last confirmation and headed out, suppressing a giddy smile while trying to force yourself into a headspace you could work in.

In the meantime, Aaron watched you walk off from where he’d been perched on your desk, entirely oblivious to the man watching the scene.

“As I live and breathe.” Rossi had crept up on him, not spooking him but rather suspending him in a state of immeasurable embarrassment. “Aaron Hotcher has a crush.” The man held his shoulder, patting him there like a father witnessing his son get his first girlfriend. “She’s a good one. Quite the eye you got, Aaron.” Then he was gone, walking away with Aaron’s dignity clasped in his hands. Closing his eyes in pure mortification, Hotch simply thanked God that nobody else was around for that and walked away with the intention of fusing to his office chair to avoid ever looking at Rossi again. At least you’d said yes, he thought. He didn’t know how he’d cope with his friend watching him swing and miss.

–

The daylight seemed to be anticipating this more than you were, hours passing by like minutes until eventually the sun woke you up on Saturday morning. It was blazing through the cracks in your blinds, settling in slim lines across your floor, as light and gentle as snow. You’d been rehearsing your poker face in preparation for tonight. Writing safety manuals for any ungodly situation that could happen, everything from a fire to Aaron gaining the ability to read your mind and unearthing what you really thought about him. You were so happy that Jack held you in such high esteem, but your hands were shaking at the thought of sitting down with him and his father and acting like it wasn’t the dynamic you fucking dreamt about. You knew it was a good sign of compatibility if someone’s cat liked you - did their child liking you mean the same thing? You hoped Jack’s seemingly innate approval of you gave you at least a couple brownie points. Aaron had called you a hero. Swiftly ignoring the memory of what he’d said after he called you a hero, you pulled out your phone. You and him didn’t really speak outside of work and babysitting schedules, but you were pacing around your room and needed something to give you a semblance of structure, a reassurance - even if it was just for the time. You texted, asking if you were still on for tonight, then went to go make breakfast and inevitably pace some more. He’d gotten back to you about twenty minutes later, confirming the time and giving details of how excited Jack was about it. You smiled at that, praying tonight would be as smooth as humanly possible and you could walk away with an ounce of emotional control. You set an intention, this wouldn’t deepen your feelings for Aaron. Was it a pointless goal? Yes. Was it also highly unlikely to prove true? Yes. But the loose plan you worked around the resolution almost completely extinguished the anxiety that had been blazing for hours now. It would be fine, you thought. Completely and utterly fine.

The same words were looping through your thoughts when you got to his front door. Casual - but still minorly more dressed up than he’d seen you. You’d put a little extra effort into your appearance, mainly to pass the time if you were honest, and you walked in with mild confidence fueling your steps. You did your best not to ogle him, he was in an attire that was already threatening to unravel the safety net of the goal you set. You were used to the suits hidden beneath blazers you cursed the existence of, maybe a snippet of his forearms when he rolled up his sleeves late at night. Now, though, he sported a simple black tee, more comfortable than you’d ever seen him. Domesticity was practically oozing from the entire situation. You felt the pieces slip into place as Jack ran up behind him, and you almost cried with how badly you wanted this feeling to be your normal.

“Hey, buddy.” You laughed as he hugged you, reciprocating the act as well as you could from the multiple feet you had on his height. “How’s the arm?”

He raised up his wrist, now gauze free and proudly showed off the scar there. You played up the genuine admiration you felt for him. “That’s a pretty gnarly scar.” He nodded in response, probably feeling cool for the evidence he handled such an injury. “I don’t want to see you back in my operating room, you hear me? Scared the life out of us.” The scolding was playful, and he giggled at your words.

Aaron huffed in agreement, cocking his head to the side slightly. “You can say that again.” Jack looked between you two, smiling and seemingly thinking something neither of you could decipher. To break the moment of silence, Aaron patted his shoulder. “Why don’t you tell her what’s on the menu, buddy?”

He told you, and you hummed along to his words, commenting that it sounded delicious and actually meaning it. He ran away a second later - presumably back to whatever he’d been doing before you got there - and left you and Aaron alone. Venturing into the kitchen, you saw multiple pans and pots sitting neatly on the stove, table set and ready to be utilized. Everything was being kept warm, and you finally gained an appetite after having wrestled with nerves all day.

“Do you want a drink?” He asked it while entering the kitchen, pausing to look at you.

“Please.” You were desperate to calm yourself, eager to subdue the shaking of your hands. “Do you have any wine?” You weren’t the biggest fan, but you couldn’t think of a drink more fitting for the evening.

He nodded slightly. “Red or white?”

“White.”

He chuckled. “Thought so.” It was quiet, more to himself than you as he was already walking away from you when he said it. He’d thought about what kind of wine you liked, you thought. He’d thought about you. He pulled two wine glasses down from the cupboard, then walked over to the fridge. He reached above it, barely having to stretch, and pulled an uncorked bottle from the storage up there. You felt your legs tense looking at how tall he was, how sure he was of his actions. Jesus. It’s been five minutes and you were crumbling. You watched his hands as he uncorked the bottle, reading the label and realizing the brand.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Seems a little fancy for a dinner.”

He laughed under his breath as he finished pouring the glasses, walking back over to sit next to you on the island stools. “You’re a guest of honor.” He placed yours in front of you. “I thought it was fitting.”

You searched, but couldn’t find the humor in his tone. You raised your eyebrows slightly. “Am I?” It was sarcastic, you needed to stop the heat in your stomach from spreading. “I didn’t know doing your job earned such a title.”

He was drinking as you spoke, finishing his sip before joking back. “You’re a doctor.” He said. “I thought you knew that better than anyone.”

You sucked air through your teeth as if wounded by his words. “Touche.” You took a sip of your drink, relishing the taste. Damn, he didn’t come to play. He laughed, and you set your glass back down. “Ok, I have to know.” He drew his attention to you. “What the hell did Jack need the day to prepare for?” The question had been on your mind since he asked you.

He took a drink, chuckling with a mouthful then swallowing so he could reply. “He actually helped cook most of this.” He nodded towards the stove full of different dishes. “That was what he needed the day for. Time for trial and error.”

You grinned at the thought of Jack and Aaron spending the day in aprons, making sure everything turned out perfect. “That is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He looked back towards Jack, coloring in the living room, close enough to see but far enough to miss your discussions. “He gets nervous around you.”

That surprised you. “Why on Earth would he be nervous around me?” You took your turn looking at the boy, an idea hitting you and making you feel sick. “Wait, I didn’t do something did I?”

He looked back at you, smiling. “No, no. Nothing like that. He gets nervous because he likes you. He knows who you are to me, too, so he wants to make a good impression.”

Your mind latched onto that sentence and played it like a broken record, bouncing between your ears over and over. “Oh?” Your lips were curling up at the corners, eyebrows furrowing as you got ready to hold him to that statement. “And who might I be to you, Aaron?”

Fuck. He’d let that slip past his lips without even thinking about it. So used to being in the confidential company of his son. Good thing he used to be a lawyer and could lie his ass off. “Most of his sitters aren’t also my coworkers.” He delivered it the smoothest way he could, smiling and drinking to hopefully exude a false comfortability that he certainly wasn’t feeling.

“Mhm.” You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to look sarcastic but in truth downplaying the sting you felt. What if this had been one-sided all along? You hadn’t prepped a safety guide for that.

Luckily, Jack came sprinting into the kitchen a second later, pleading with his father to eat now. Clinging to his leg and declaring how hunger was killing him by the second, dramatically threatening to wither away before your very eyes. You both shared a look, agreeing silently to put the kid out of his misery. The instinctual nature of the act hit you like a bolt of lightning. Both of you so in tune it was comical. The dinner had been lovely, and you reminded yourself to encourage Jack to keep up his cooking hobby. Maybe you could foster a professional chef. You’d talked with them both, light and the happiest you’d felt in a while. There it was, you realized. That weightless feeling you wanted to give him. You felt it in yourself too, and you could only pray it was because he felt it first. When dinner concluded, you’d help clean up while Jack resumed his coloring. His bedtime was soon, and you didn’t want him to spend his last hour washing pans. He was nearly delirious by the time 9:00 graced the clock, tired from the preparation of the day and needing to get to sleep. He’d given you a hug goodnight, thanked you for coming like the gentleman he was, and that was the last you saw of him. The rest of your time there was spent on the couch with Aaron, you both held a second glass of wine, and you noticed it manifest in the blush on his face. He was gorgeous, and you were staring. You know your eyes went to his lips a couple times as he spoke, low and rougher as the time ushered more light out of the sky. You saw his eyes slip down a few times too, this sort of unspoken, agonizing rule of look don’t touch. He’d walked you to the door, thanked you for your attendance, and then you were leaving. Sitting in your car, warm on the inside from both his presence and the anger you felt at yourself for not just kissing him. You were so incredibly needy for this - for him, and that fact just sat with you, like a raincloud constantly in a state of downpour, never letting you forget the pure fucking craving you had for him.

–

You think the start of your blackout was Morgan’s panicked voice over the speaker. You’d been stationed in your typical hut, equipped with medical gear and waiting on someone to need you. It was almost never your team in need of service, typically you were tending to an injured hostage or sometimes the unsub themselves, but never your friends. Your breath had been baited since you’d heard the gun go off. You knew the case was dealing with an aggressive attacker, you’d been expecting a fight, but nothing is ever more excruciating than waiting to hear who the shot was meant for. Derek crying out your name followed by a “get in here. Hotch is down, we need you in here.” had you ready to run the soles of your shoes down to dust just to make it in time. In time. God, in time for what? You’d ran past Emily and Rossi hauling out the unsub, anger evident in their treatment of him. How bad was it? How bad had he got him to have them acting like that?

The scene was bloody. Your brain switching off and forcing you into autopilot as you registered the pool of Hotch’s blood that Morgan was kneeling in. He was putting pressure on the wound, an attempt to stop the bleeding but it was flowing like a river. He wouldn’t make it to the hospital like this, you realized. He wouldn’t make it to the fucking hospital. You were holding his life in between your hands right now, the slightest tremor could sever that chord and you were feeling the pressure hard. Aaron was leaned against the wall, slumping down slightly which was only making the bleeding increase under the internal pressure.

You looked at Morgan, putting on the bravest face you could muster and effectively seizing control of the situation. “Morgan.” You got his attention quickly. “On three I need you to lift him away from the wall. I need to check for an exit wound.” He just nodded, doing exactly as you’d told him when you reached three. You checked the area, finding an exit wound in nearly the same spot. It’d been a straight line. You sighed in relief. Thank fucking God. “Ok, Morgan, I need you to put pressure on the wound on his back. I’m going to stitch the front to give us the time we need for the hospital drive but I need you to hold it. You got me?”

He nodded once. “I got it.” He moved his hand from the front to the back, Aaron wincing at the switch.

You took out the numbing cream from your pack, knowing it wouldn’t do much for a gushing bullet wound but hoping it would at least quell the sting of a needle. You took out the needle, threading it with hands frighteningly stagnant as the adrenaline gave you tunnel vision. You had to save him. “Aaron.” You looked at him as you prepped his skin for the procedure. “I’m gonna need to double stitch this, and it’s gonna hurt like hell. I need you to stay with me.”

The man just nodded, exhaling in exhaustion. “Do it.”

You worked as quickly as possible, gaining hope as you listened to the ambulance approach. “There you go.” You said under your breath, at this point you couldn’t tell if you were reassuring him or yourself. You looked to Morgan, who was still sealing the other injury. “Help me get him up. Keep your hand on there. These stitches are gonna give us twenty minutes tops. Hold his shoulders straight and walk quickly.” You counted again, both of you rising when you hit three, taking the man with you. The walk to the ambulance was the longest of your life. Aaron was clinging to his consciousness but you knew he was losing grip. Finally getting him to the stretcher and slamming the doors was a relief like nothing else. There was no time to debate anyone else going, you rushed him in and sat right down beside him, taking off almost immediately after. The bleeding had slowed, and your hand took the place of Morgan’s on his back. Since he was laying down, his full weight was on it, and you felt the circulation lessen more and more as it remained there. You couldn’t care less, you’d let the blood drain from your entire arm if it meant Aaron’s survival. He hadn’t passed out, which you thought was miraculous, simply walked the line of decently delirious. Groaning under his breath at every slight bump in the road.

“Why am I always having to save you Hotchner men?” You knew now wasn’t the time to be humorous, but you would have done anything to deviate from the tears in your eyes, the ball in your throat. You finally understood why it was frowned upon to date coworkers - it should be illegal to care this much.

“I don’t know, honey.” The pet name was the kicker, allowing a tear to break the dam and roll down your cheek as he chuckled. “You seem to be pretty damn good at it, though.” You laughed too, fighting the devastation you felt at the sight of him with the fact that he was clearly well enough to still be joking. “I should have kissed you when you came for dinner.”

Fuck. “Aaron, now is not the time.” You chuckled slightly as more tears fell. This is absurd.

“I know but-” He flinched as the ambulance hit another bump. Almost there. “I might as well say it now.” You wondered if there was genuinely something wrong with him. “You’ve been all I can think about since the moment-'' He paused to breathe slightly in exertion, you giving a disapproving look as his confession took it’s toll. “since the moment you started, you know that?”

“You are dying! Please, for the love of God, Aaron. Use this energy to prevent that from happening.” Your scolding was dramatic, but your actual concern shone brightly through your ruse of sarcasm.

“Exactly.” He was being equally as sarcastic. How on Earth did he manage this with a rapidly declining life force. “Give a dying man a chance. How unfortunate would it be if the last thing I hear before I go out is the woman of my dreams rejecting me?”

“Jesus Christ.” You shook your head in pure amazement. This was by far the most goal oriented man you’d ever met. “I’ll let you take me out if you shut the hell up and save your energy.” He smiled, letting his head hit the reclined back of the stretcher. “After you get better.” You added, reminding him that his recovery took priority. “Deal?”

“Deal.” This was probably the most insufferable man you’d ever met. “Such a good motivator.”

Scratch that. Most insufferable man ever.

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jellesreid · 7 months ago

Text

Spencer’s Double Shift

Dad!Spencer finishes a case only to find out he can’t go home to his wife (reader) and daughter as they have another case in New York. (fluff)

masterlist

word count: 2.5k

tags: dad!spencer, mom/fem!reader, parents, parenting, New York, behavioural analysis unit, date night, early birthday dinner, halloween mention, fbi, plane ride, first plane ride, subtle sex mention, fluff, marriage, married with kid, work, fear of flying, comforting.

no warnings

notes: I don’t really like the title of this but oh well, this is the first time I’ve written with the reader so its not amazing sorry. Hope you enjoy!

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Spencer had been away for three days working on a difficult case but there wasn’t a day he hadn’t called you before starting and ending his day. He told you he had been calling because he missed you but you know it’s really because he missed your perfect daughter.

You and Spencer had the most gorgeous daughter, Delilah Reid, she’s four years old and a total daddy’s girl, she asks you multiple times a day if she can call when Spencer is away working on a case and when you explain to her why she can’t call it makes her cry but she stops when you remind her that her daddy saves lots of people. He is her hero.

Spencer had texted you a few hours ago to let you know he was now boarding the plane to come home as well as telling you he missed both you and Delilah and couldn’t wait to kiss you so when you saw his call coming through on your phone you weren’t surprised.

“Hi Spence,” You said into the phone as you went around the house putting Delilah’s toys away, “Good flight?”

“Hi baby, yeah good flight but I have some bad news,” Spencer replied running his hand through his fluffy curls.

“You have to stay late and do reports?” You groaned into the phone.

“Worse, Hotch got another call on the flight, bad case in New York, we leave in 2 hours. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay honey, it’s not your fault,” You were glad you weren’t FaceTiming right now because the massive frown on your face would make him feel worse and he didn’t deserve that.

“Can I be the worst husband ever right now and ask a favour of you?” Spencer asked.

“You’re hardly the worst husband. Shoot.”

“Could you bring me some clean clothes to swap over in my overnight bag and please bring Delilah I miss her so much I feel like I’m missing everything.”

“I can do that of course, I want to see you I miss you. You aren’t missing much with Delilah except a very messy playroom and a few princess stories at night.”

“Not the princess stories they are my favourite.”

You laugh, “Alright Spence, I’ll bring one for you to read to her before you leave.”

“Deal. Don’t be too long I miss you,” You can practically see Spencer’s pout just by hearing his tone.

“You need to let me hang up then.”

“Fine, be quick, I love you and be safe,” he blew a kiss into the phone making your heart flutter.

“I love you too, extra safe I promise,” You said before hanging up and getting his things together for him.

You knocked on the door of your daughter’s bedroom lightly to see if she was still napping, after getting no sleepy response from her you opened the door quietly climbing into the bed beside her as much as you could with the little space.

“Baby,” You stroke one of the brunette strands of her hair from her face.

“Mommy? Is Daddy home?” She mumbled sleepily to you.

“No baby, we are going to visit Daddy at work. Do you want to pick a book for him to read to you?” You played with the ends of her wavy hair.

“Really? I love Daddy’s work! Yeah, I pick a book,” she says trying to scramble out the duvet.

“Daddy’s got more people to help though baby so we can’t stay too long, just until he has to leave.”

Delilah pouts, “But mommy I miss Daddy he’s been away like a million days.”

You laugh, “I know baby, he’s sorry and so am I but we can do some fun things.”

“He’ll be back for Halloween?”

“Yes he will be back before Halloween sweetie,” You kissed her head, “Get ready and we will leave.”

“Can I stay in my fluffy pyjamas? Please,” Delilah dragged out the ‘e’ at the end of please.

“If you want to,” You smiled at your daughter picking her up to help her off the bed so she could pick a book to take.

——————

You helped Delilah get out of the car and passed her the princess book before swinging Spencer’s bag onto your shoulder and carrying Delilah at the same time.

You signed in at reception, Spencer had called to tell them you were dropping by, usually, they don’t let people come in without an employee badge but you had become friends with the receptionist after the many times you had dropped by to see Spencer in the times you were dating and while you had been married.

Once you were in the elevator you put Delilah down, she couldn’t get lost going from the elevator to the bullpen since they were opposite each other and she had been there enough times to know the way.

When the doors opened you spotted Spencer waiting on the other side of the open glass door. He knew his daughter would run out once she saw him and that’s exactly what she did. The small girl let go of your hand and ran towards her Dad the book still in her hand.

“Daddy!” She squeaked, you walking not far behind watching them as they collided in a hug.

“Hi Princess,” Spencer picked her up and spun her around. Hotch, Emily and JJ were watching from across the room smiling. Emily could see how much happier Spencer was as soon as he was talking to you or back with both you and your daughter.

“You should let him bring them to New York with us and maybe give him a day off while we are there,” Emily whispered to Hotch.

“I’ll speak to him about it,” Hotch spoke while nodding.

“I missed you, Daddy, don’t go, why do you keep leaving me and Mommy?” Delilah pouted with tears in her eyes.

Spencer held Delilah’s hair out of her face placing kisses over her face, “I’m sorry baby, I don’t want to leave you.”

You sighed seeing the tears almost spilling from Delilah’s eyes, “Honey I told you Daddy saves people.”

“But what if I need him,” Delilah started crying both your and Spencer’s hearts breaking as well as the others watching.

“Reid,” Hotch called Spencer signalling for him to come over.

Spencer tried to pass Delilah over to you but the girl cried harder refusing to let go of him.

“You can all come,” Hotch said walking up the stairs towards the office.

Once you entered with your husband and daughter who had stopped crying Hotch smiled, “Emily made a point to me that you haven’t been at your best recently being apart from your wife and daughter and proposed I talk to you about bringing them to New York with us, that way we can call you when we need but you can also do some exploring and be with your family,” Hotch said.

“Really? That would be great!” Spencer said.

“That really would be, thank you, Aaron,” You said.

“We will pick you up in an hour on the way to the jet.”

“The only thing is Delilah has never flown before, I don’t want her to get upset and distract you from your case,” You added.

“She’s no bother.”

“I’m a big girl I will be fine I going to eat a big pizza,” Delilah squealed, “Let me go Daddy I need to tell Auntie Emily and Auntie JJ,” she gasped, “Can we visit Nana and Auntie Elle and her girlfriend and her kitten too!”

“Slow down baby, we need to go home and get ready before we can do anything,” You crouched down to pull Delilah into a hug.

“Kay Kay, me and Daddy make plans on the plane!”

You all laughed before Spencer ruffled her hair with his hand, “Okay little princess.”

The three of you went back to your house to get ready, you already felt a little stressed about how little time you had to pack. Packing usually took you at least a day to make sure you had a list of everything you needed and you weren’t leaving anything behind.

Spencer stood behind you rubbing your shoulders, “I can tell you’re stressed.”

“Sorry, I just don’t know what to pack. What’s the weather going to be like? What are we going to do there? Fancy or casual dinners? I guess casual because Lilah is with us,” You rambled.

“We won’t be there more than four days, the weather is the right temperature for jeans and t-shirts, pack a jumper for the mornings, maybe take a coat in case it rains one day but nothing too thick,” he helps you out.

“Thank you, Baby,” You grab his face leaving a gentle peck on his lips before returning to your suitcase to finish your packing while Spencer went to help Delilah.

——————

You sat opposite Delilah and Spencer sat beside her on the private jet. The small brunette had her small hands on either side of the window watching the takeoff and the city becoming several long fluffy clouds.

“It’s pretty!” Delilah gasped.

“Yeah, it is isn’t it?” You replied.

“Daddy, do you want to see too?” Delilah asked him.

“I’ve seen it lots of times, you enjoy it,” He ran his hand over her hair before moving to sit next to you.

“Hi,” You move a little closer to him in the seat.

“Hi,” He takes your hand and laces your fingers together.

You rest your head on his shoulder your eyes fluttering closed for a second as he rubbed his thumb on the back of his hand.

“Are you okay?” He asked. You were sometimes a nervous flyer but you didn’t want to show it right now especially in front of your daughter for her first flight.

“I’m doing fine, this plane shakes less than a commercial aircraft,” You glanced up at him smiling.

“I didn’t get to give you a proper hello earlier,” Spencer leaned his head down connecting his lips with yours in a quick kiss that unfortunately didn’t go unnoticed by the young brunette girl.

“EW!” She shouted rather loudly, “You guys can’t kiss!”

“Why not? We love each other,” Spencer tells Delilah, “And you need to be a bit quieter baby. They are working,” He points to his team.

“It’s gross to kiss,” Delilah stuck her tongue out.

Spencer gave your lips one last quick peck before grinning at Delilah who was sitting with her arms folded and pouting.

Around halfway through the flight, the plane hit a small rough patch of turbulence making you panic slightly and Delilah started crying. Spencer wanted to comfort the both of you but you knew it was more important for him to look after your child and besides you always remembered the fact Spencer had told you about planes that they’re more likely to crash as you were taking off or as you are landing which made you feel a little bit better not by much but it was something.

You watched as Spencer moved Delilah onto his lap and rubbed her back trying to calm her down. When her breaths became more controlled he wiped the tears from her cheeks and placed a kiss on her nose whispering, ‘You’re okay baby I’ll always keep you safe,’ to her.

Seeing how he was with her always made your heart warm and melt in your chest, there really could be no better father for any child except maybe one that wasn’t in the FBI but you would never want anyone else as your husband or as Delilah’s father.

You left your seat to go to grab a coffee, Emily and JJ were standing by the coffee machine talking and quite obviously flirting. You were closer to JJ than you were to Emily but not for any reason other than JJ’s son Micheal and Delilah went to the same daycare.

“Hi,” You said squeezing around them to get a mug from the cupboard.

“Hi,” They replied at the same time before quickly turning their heads and smiling brightly at each other to acknowledge what they had just done.

You laughed, “Excuse me,” You directed at Emily who was standing by the coffee machine.

She moved to the side, “Is Delilah okay? We heard her crying, was it the turbulence?”

“Yeah she’s fine, she was just a little scared because she’s never experienced it before,” You answered with a small smile, “Spence calmed her down.”

“We saw, he’s an amazing dad. He was so good with Henry when he was younger too I’m so happy he has a kid of his own now,” JJ smiled.

Your smile grew hearing JJ say that. “He is an amazing dad,” You looked over at your husband, “He’s great. Spencer’s birthday is coming up and I really wanted to take him to dinner while we are in New York, Could you possibly watch Delilah tonight? It won’t be late because I know you will both have to be up early to start the case.”

“Oh yes! We’d love to look after her, she was so cute last time trying to read us her princess book,” Emily said.

“I might have to prep a few bits for the case but Em will be fine on her own with her she’s really good with the boys at home,” JJ said.

“Okay, thank you guys so much,” You took your coffee and returned to your seat.

——————

It was already 4:30 pm when the plane landed in New York and the hotel you were staying in was about 15 minutes away. Delilah had fallen asleep just before you went into the SUV, you were hoping she’d sleep until you got to the hotel so she’d be less irritable when you told her you and Spencer were going out for dinner.

You rested your head on Spencer’s shoulder, “I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” Spencer raised his eyebrow in curiosity.

“I’m taking you out to dinner,” You ran your hand up and down his arm.

“Thank you, How come?” He had a big smile on his face.

“Early birthday dinner, Em and JJ are going to watch Delilah while we are out.”

“Do you think they can watch her a little longer after dinner too?” Spencer whispered into your ear.

Your cheeks clouded with blush and a little laugh left your mouth, “Stop that Spence.”

“I didn’t say anything wrong,” He said with a smug smile and a little smirk.

——————

You and Spencer walked into Carmine’s Italian restaurant hand in hand.

Once you were sat down at the table waiting for your food, he reached across the table and started drawing circles with his finger on top of your hand.

“Thank you for this,” He tucked your hair behind your ear with his other hand.

“Thank you for being you, you’re such a good Dad and husband Spence I don’t tell you enough. Happy early birthday,” You leaned across the table to kiss him.

“You tell me more than enough love but I don’t think I tell you enough that you’re an amazing Mom and wife I don’t what either of us would do without you.”

Once your food arrived you ate and made small talk together until going back to the hotel to collect your beautiful daughter from JJ and Emily.

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elliesglock · 2 months ago

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youtube

okay so i'm gonna preface this by saying, i haven't wrote an analysis for a bit so im sorry if im a little rusty but im trying to rebuild my masterlist. hope you guys enjoy, happy reading 💕 always remember to lmk anything i forgot as well!

the lives starts off with aubrey and crackhead kk just doing shit. just being bad. they're giving a dorm tour and decide to go to another dorm where everybody's kinda hanging out.

when they walk in, immediately ines comes firing saying kk and aubrey are assholes. which says to me that none of the people in the dorm they're walking into know they're on live. therefore, azzi clarifies with kk and aubrey if they "are still on live" because for reasons i will get in soon she wants to make sure she ain't going to say nothing incriminating. as soon as kk sets her phone down she goes in the back kinda whispering to azzi which brings me to my theory (it's kinda not a theory cause it gets confirmed later) that this entire live azzi is on ft with paige. azzi kinda calls kk over and kk realizes she's on the phone w her girl. this is able to spearhead mission annoy tf out of azzi with aubrey and rope in paige while they do it. will explain in a sec as well. they whisper and act super completely normal (spoiler they don't but they think they do). azzi has her laptop opened and is shopping? with ines for something but ig ines is being indecisive cause this whole live she keeps giving options for things and ines can't figure out what she wants. i just find it funny in general that pazzi are literally 8 inches from each other and STILL facetiming. like personally im not doing that with my friends id just text them. now this might be delusional but theres a moment where the comments see azzi and they're like ohhh she's so pretty! and kk points this out and tells azzi they said you're so pretty...and yall why i lowkey hear paige flying off the seat of her pants on facetime jealous as hell. now this alone really wouldn't convince me she was talking but everyone's reactions are lowkey so not nonchalant cause why kk hooting and hollering saying "ohhhh!!" and giggling as soon as i hear paige's voice? girl what was she saying? she was cussing some little twelve year olds out huh? what also convinces theyre on facetime is the fact that azzi is talking and holding up a conversation while everyone around her is not talking. so obv if no one is talking back to her that we can hear she's having a conversation on her phone. most likely with paige. i lowkey think paige is helping azzi out with whatever ines wants or is doing, because there's moments you can hear paige talking while everyone has their mouths closed. like look at them helping their first born pick out her outfits aweeee.

now when they turn this game on it starts getting chaotic as hell so just bear with me. i'm trying to listen to background convos while these mfs got their tv on 85 burning the paint off the walls so. during about 17:55, it's silent enough to hear FOR SURE paige is on the phone. she says something about glasses and we know how her minnesota ass says glasses. which tells me that that whole time azzi was helping out ines paige was in the conversation too. now what they were doing i have no idea. now, i think the shopping or studying or whatever was happening near azzi is done, everybody disperses and moves or leaves.

now rhis next part blows the fuck outta me 😒 a comment asks, "where's paige?" to which kk answers "minding her business!" immediately you hear azzi in the back go paige! and it almost sounds like she's saying it to her phone and she lowkey sound irritated like why is anybody bringing up my girl. kk and aubrey catch this tone and decide yeahhhh it's time to troll tf outta her rn. aubrey kinda makes a teasing remark to azzi like, "yeah where is she?" hinting at the fact azzi is on the phone with her and knows EXACTLY what's she's doing and where she is. aubrey is doing that annoying friend thing where she's maybe teasing azzi for being on the phone with her girlfriend and trying to be sneaky about it. now i think azzi over the teasing cause aubrey asks to say hi to paige on the phone (basically confirming that paige was on the phone the whole time) and azzi says, "i'll twist your knee into the thing!" before handing the phone over to her. aubrey gets the phone from kk and blows an air kiss to paige. she watches the phone and you can hear paige whispering. i personally think she's asking what azzi is doing or how she's acting. cause aubrey immediately looks up at azzi and smiles like she knows paige is trying to see if azzi's mad at her. and then aubrey, not giving up on the teasing, says "i told you i miss you man!" really loud into h the phone, immediately looking up to watch az's reaction. i think they tryna tease azzi but acting like azzi and paige do on the phone. but personally that's just how i read the situation and in my head i feel like that's what their behavior is showing me. now aubrey hand the phone off talking about "im being a menace" which girl we know but you better be careful around big az like im scared for you and even more scared for paige....

so kk and aubrey are talking about being menaces and paige sounds like she says, "what's she doing?" and they most likely flip the camera around. aubrey wiggles her eyebrows almost like paige is watching azzi and she knows she being extraaaaaa heart eyes central today. and in my humble petty opinion i bet azzi flips off the camera or says something and they all start laughing and gasping. but this parts iffy, paige could also be saying "ofc you do". now this next part is CRAZY ASF i think this is probably something you could use to convince deniers paige and azzi are together. so there's a comment that pops up that says "aww her girl otp" obviously implying azzi's on the phone with her girl. aubrey reads the comment and goes beserk and starts laughing and pointing it out to kk. kk giggles showing paige. we know she shows paige because her no survival instincts head ass goes, "yeah kk's girl on the phone." this is around the time azzi comes running up to the phone asking what the comment said. now this live we get some juicy juicy jealous/pouty azzi and she lowkey sounds like she's mad as hell. so paige and azzi are bickering back and forth cause u know she just gonna dogpile on azzi when she's pouty cause she, for one, has no self preservation skills and 2 she likes when her girl gets mad at her (kinky ass). paige being a lil sassy masc on the phone huffing and puffing mocking azzi and she says "take a break." to which paige replies, "take a big break!" in that sassy little tone of hers. i think she can recognize azzi's pouty and moody and doesn't like being made fun of so she's having fun watching her get all upset when she teases her. poor azzi girl i know when my girl teases me when im already about to jump and fly off the handle it makes me soooooo irritated but at the end of the day thats the good stuff. im sure they would rather be annoying each other all day than be apart and that's just the truth. kk makes fun of everybody asking for paige by saying its "pilates bueckers" and that's azzi's "cousin"

and it's so funny to me because if they were GENUINELY JUST FRIENDS they would not react the way they do. they'd be laughing adding onto the joke like they do with everything else but they don't. azzi most likely makes a fun and is like ewwww and paige goes "you sick." mostly because who tf wants to be called your gf's cousin? yuckkkk. now paige spends a minute just flaming the audience for no good reason other than she getting a ki off of annoying everyone on planet earth atm ig. so paige got some guac on ft and these hungry hungry girls see it and say oooo we wanna go downstairs and get some. azzi immediately stops what she's doing and is like im gonna come down there too in this threatening ass voice. now here's my theory. paige and azzi were talking about having a movie night on the phone you can hear them. so obviously azzi is gonna get annoyed when her friends go down to paige's room (where she was just about to go) to go eat. it's almost like she says "i'm gonna come down there too" to warn paige when she need to quit acting cute and get everybody out so they can have their cuddle sesh. basically hinting at paige, when i get my ass down there that means everybody need to clear out. i also think her voice just sounds so urgenttrrr, she's like waittttt not without me i wanna go downstairs and see my girl too just not with all yall in there. i think that's why she sounds so impatient/irritated. missing p-itis got her good.

so girl. after they go downstairs. all a mess. poor amari they was clowning on her guac so bad. so in between the puking and fighting for her life that kk's doing for 5 mins, i'd like to point out that paige really doesn't act like she knows kk is on live. kk kinda bursts in her room and is fake puking for some reason .... and she never really sees kk is still on live. i'll break it down more in my script but, we hear a little robot voice go, "call from azzi fudd." and it dings like paige picks it up. now yall why this bitch say babyyyy when she answers it. and then says hello. mind you she says baby in a weird voice but that's how she answers it. sigh my babygirl/baby paige agenda is thriving atm. now i'm gonna end this exactly how i thought azzi meant by when she said "im finna come down there too." kk is sitting on paige's bed and talking to her when we hear the door open. very obv you can hear azzi say, "cmon don't piss me off" like basically shooing kk cause she wants some time with her girl. and i jus imagine paige holding her hands up like what the wife says goes when kk looks at her. cause she know she damn wrong for how she was teasing and she's not trying to get in anymore trouble, smart girl. but also they just wanna spend time together too and i know that cuddle + movie combo SMACKED. i wish i was a fly on the wall.

suarrrr i know how much yall liked this analysis so i had to bring it back. sorry if it isn't the og but hey it's something! i'm also releasing the script for this live tonight about the same time i release this...thank yall!

#gabi's anons 💜#Youtube

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mrs-weasley-reid · 1 year ago

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YOU'RE TOO SWEET FOR ME

(young) Aaron Hotchner x bau!reader

Sypnosis: Opposites attract, but Aaron reasons that it doesn't mean the magnets should connect. Just because he's in love with you doesn't mean he has to admit it. WARNING: Angst. A/N: inspired by the song Too Sweet by Hozier

From the moment Aaron Hotchner met you, he knew you'd be the death of him.

Your bright aura. Your friendly personality. Your witty jokes. Your everything. You.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't drawn to you like everybody else. In fact, he was probably one of the willing victims of your sweetness.

The two of you joined the academy at the same time. Compared to Aaron, you were the one he would call a magnet. You had everyone attracted to you like a moth to a flame, and all you had to do was smile.

Finding out that you both got a position at the Behavioral Analysis Unit gave him such a euphoric daze. Aaron thought he was just happy that he got the job he wanted. But if he had to admit, seeing you was one of the reasons that it felt right.

"Good morning, Hotch!" You came in like the morning sun, filled with energy and blinding light. You slumped on your swivel chair with a chuckle, "Y'know, smiling a little bit won't kill you. How are we supposed to recruit more people to the team if you're frowning all the time?" You coaxed with a playful grin, easing onto your desk that sat across from him.

You were the first person to ever call him Hotch, getting the idea on accident over a cup of coffee. You were in the middle of bringing his mug in the name of being a kind teammate when you rattled on a simple, "Be careful, it's hotch!" followed by bursting out of laughter after the innocent mistake.

And since then, you couldn't call him anything else. Aaron wasn't thinking of correcting you anytime soon. After all, you two have been working together for the past five years, contributing to the continuous development of the BAU.

One other thing...

Aaron Hotchner has been in love with you for years, and kept it buried in the deepest corner of his heart.

Why?

He thought of many things.

First, your coffee order. He took his coffee straight black. The bitterness kept him awake enough to function. You, however, had some step-by-step concoction that kept you insanely energized for the day.

Second, your bedtime. He stays up as late as he could. The silence brought him peace as he listened to his pen scribble on his action report. You, however, slept as early as eight in the evening or as soon as you were allowed.

Aaron wouldn't hesitate to say more, but it'd take him an eternity.

He knew so much about you that someone might render him a creep had he mentioned it to anyone else but himself.

Because one thing Aaron Hotchner knew well was you.

And he knew you'd change in an instant if someone asked you to.

Aaron couldn't possibly have you do such a horrible thing.

The world needed your brightness. Aaron convinced himself that the world needed you more than he could ever do.

You were too good for him, too sweet.

So, why ruin the incredible person you are?

His love for you could be treated with constant denial, but whatever damage he could do to your bright spark would be a crime.

Loving you was a crime.

"I got it!" You erupted in the bullpen, jumping like a three-year-old child. Your vision caught Aaron, who had just walked in. You snatched him into a tight hug as you continued to bounce on your feet.

Aaron couldn't stop his lips from curving, melting into a puddle as he felt your arms wrap around him. His body stood frozen, but his heart was beating so loud he was afraid you could hear it.

Jason Gideon came out of his office to see the commotion, David Rossi right behind him. The two founding fathers of the unit curiously wondered what may have made them stop in the middle of a chess game.

"What's the jumping for?" David had his eyebrows knitted but was enjoying the way you celebrated with joy.

Another reason why Aaron couldn't possibly admit his feelings for you. You were contagious. Your glee always affected everyone, influencing an individual with the tiniest sound of your giggles.

You retracted away from Aaron, facing David. "I got the position in Interpol!" You exclaimed with pride, gasping for air after your prior actions.

Jason and David raised their eyebrows, accordingly giving you a congratulatory embrace. You felt their happiness for you in every bone they had almost crushed. Still, you paid no mind. The news made you feel elated, fueling you with a sense of fulfillment.

"It'd be different to not have you here, but I'm proud of you. Interpol would be glad to have you." Jason remarked with a satisfying nod. "You ready to move to Washington?"

"Even better," You bit your lower lip from excitement, "I'm going to France!" You clasped your mouth with both your hands, containing your squeals behind it.

Aaron heard his entire heart shatter into pieces as your triumph echoed on the walls of the bullpen. Everything became a blur and muffled.

Years of keeping his feelings a secret was no easy task, but at least he got to see your sweet smile each day. He couldn't imagine his life without listening to your random fits of laughter.

How was he going to survive a day without your daily reminder that he was human and not some poker-faced mannequin?

Who would complain about his bitter taste for coffee?

Where would he look when he needed a source of hope in the form of a warm smile?

What would he do without you in his life..?

But you just looked so proud, so excited, so... happy.

So, Aaron Hotchner put up a brave face and soft smile, "Congratulations."

#aaron hotchner #ssa aaron hotchner #fem!reader #criminalminds #criminal minds #cm #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x you #hotch #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner criminal minds

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monkebearness · 1 month ago

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Rereading the Mixed Messages [Pt. 2]

Kamimoto Kotone (tripleS) x Male Reader

Part 1

Tags: smut, fluff, creampie, blowjob

Word count: 10k

a/n: hey, it's been a while. life's gotten a little busier than usual, but hey, it's tripleS' comeback era! it's only been almost a week—but I really enjoyed (and still am enjoying) assemble25. without further ado, I hope you enjoy this one.

The sun had already set—but an assemblage of voices inside a particular classroom kept on soaring high in the past three hours, no thanks to the encouraging exchanges and the insights between Professor Kim Myungsoo and five of his much argumentative students, who remained standing in front of the lecture hall and the projector. Somehow, it seems that no one else could make a discussion on Western literature this engaging, especially when it ends up going off on another tangent—like how fanfiction became a much more accepted genre of writing in the last five years—at least more accepted than A.I. writing, something that almost all parties in the room involved would unanimously take a jab at.

“At least the ones they’re putting out have substance. They have soul, and they are ali—”

As soon as the hand of the clock hits six in the evening, the bell rings across the hallway.

“Okay! How about that? As much as our discussions are getting a little more heated, our time’s up, and we managed to make it halfway through our list!” His observation incites audible sighs of relief to the students on the chairs while a few heaves of disappointment is also heard from the five reporters, much to his amusement. In his mind, he knows the group has already passed, but the fact that they got carried away yapping alongside him has only made his final class better than expected.

“The two groups who finished their reports today, both Bongseok and Yeon’s groups, have done a splendid job with their breakdowns and critical analysis,” the professor elaborates with his proud tone. “I’m sure the remaining three will also match their quality with what we’ve all witnessed this afternoon.”

“You better not doubt us, Seonsaengnim!” a student from the front row answers him.

“You might just be surprised at how long we’ve filled out our scripts!” another heckles.

“Hmm… Well, as much as I’d like to ask more about the details of your blocky slides and hopefully your completely-original reflections,” he laughs at them lightheartedly, despite his sincere reminders going straight through their ears. “Just take it easy. You’ll have the weekend to revise and practice, but only if you want to. Now—get yourselves a good rest, all of you... We’ll continue the remaining presentations on Wednesday, arachi?”

From there, the echoes of cheers, laughters and hollers of farewells from his students follow on. “Ne! Kamsahamnida, seonsaengnim! Have a nice weekend, Kim Ssaem!”

Those final words from his own learnder widens his smile more, almost to his cheek.

Walking towards the campus gates, the professor walks alongside various other students and fellow staff, some of whom exchange bows and greetings with him on their way out. It's standard college habits. They're nothing new, but oddly enough, they are one of the things that always give him a simple reason to love his job. Something to expect from day to day in his more than a decade staying in his alma mater as a humble educator.

And right at that moment, his peripherals catch her. Locking his eyes, he finds the one special woman standing from a distance. Waiting for him with her now widening smile, his lips can't help but mirror her expression once more. Until recently, Myungsoo never knew he would have something else, nay someone else to expect to meet with night after night. At almost the same moment, they wave at each other.

With his arms opening wide, Kotone runs to Myungsoo with a warm hug. He pulls her closer, making their embrace a little tighter, much cozier, and longer for each other. “I miss you so much, boo,” the woman mumbles. He laughs at the term she used for him, but it touches his heart nonetheless. He couldn’t feel any luckier. And neither can she.

It has been three months since their relationship became official. A significant change that was made possible by their recent alumni reunion at their university gymnasium. Their fingers interlocked, walking along the pavement, past years of local businesses.

Tonight, the breeze has blown quite strongly, something that catches while holding his beloved’s hand as they take a stroll. “You’re not feeling any cold, are you?”

“Oppa, it’s summer,” she reminds him with a wide grin. A face he can’t get enough of.

“Oh, right,” he just realized what she meant. “Then, you’re not feeling too warm then?”

“I’d start to feel a little hotter these days,” she counters him, nudging his shoulder. “‘Cause that’s a lot more possible.”

His eyes slowly grow as his head tilts. He turns to her with curiosity. “What is that?”

“For a professor, you can't be this slow, Kim Myungsoo-oppa,” she teases him. “You got any ideas on how to beat the heat?” Her eyebrows raise twice on those last three words.

Such a fierce delivery from her only causes him to swallow his throat. “I can get us a couple of drinks… if you like? There’s a convenience store near my place.”

The woman’s playful grin slowly closes, turning upside down, much to his confusion. He’s taking her question way too seriously. But his mind quickly tells him to go on to their ‘contingency’ in hopes of saving the mood. He leans closer. “How about… This? Will it help you forget the heat better than a drink?”

Myungsoo wraps his arms around his girlfriend. She can only hum, satisfied with how he tried to make up with this warm gesture. “It is better… I might need more of this.”

“Even if it’ll get much, much hotter?” he wonders.

“Especially if it’ll get hotter,” she quickly answers, making both of them chuckle.

They’ve taken things slower. Not that they’ve said anything. It must’ve just felt… Right. They were friends for more than eight years, yet their feelings for each other lasted just as long as it endured through the test of time. Through dozens, if not almost a hundred dates and flings, some even consider it a miracle they found their way with each other.

= = =

Meeting each other's newer friends over local hangouts. Malls. Cafes. Restaurants.

“Myungsoo here hasn’t dated anyone in two years,” Sungjin tells Kotone.

“That's not entirely true,” he chuckles nervously, seeing her intrigue at his remark. “That’s an exaggeration… I’ve gone onto a few dates.”

His eyes turn to the side, followed by a smirk he’s trying to cover up from her while taking a sip of her glass of beer beside him.

“But… No matter how many matches I’ve gotten back then,” he continues. “None of them can ever match this woman.”

That same woman can only blush as Myungsoo sneaks up next to Kotone with a swift but passionate kiss on her cheek, inciting cheers from his two buds. “Yah…” she coos, pulled between giddiness and coyness towards him.

At first, Kotone was a little shy and awkward meeting her boyfriend’s closest colleagues, though knowing more about Myungsoo through their word of mouth and teasing slowly made her get along with them more often. In Myungsoo’s perspective, however, Tone’s buddies were perhaps the most welcoming and easygoing bunch to hang out with.

“Tone-chan really tried not to make it obvious,” Suhyeon says while munching on a potato chip. “But she's too much of an F around us to hide her facial expressions—”

Even though Kotone herself found their approach of getting to know Myungsoo to be a little more embarrassing than her boyfriend’s friends.

Kotone places a knuckle on her forehead with a groan. “Oh, enough with that whole T and F thing. You still don’t believe in those things, do you?”

She doesn't necessarily agree with their sentiment, but she simply can’t help but cringe at certain aspects of her past self. Reminiscing the times she would babble about folks’ MBTI personalities through comparisons and contrasts. It was a silly little phase that she had since tried to move past forward from, if it wasn’t for her best friend’s teases.

“Well, I don't think it's a bad way of seeing things,” Myungsoo reasons, remembering that part of Kotone’s personality. Suhyeon and her boyfriend, Sungwoo, watches him in astoundment, since he didn’t directly side with his girlfriend and went for a more devil’s advocate route. “It’s just for fun… It helped a lot of people get to know each other then.”

“Well…” Kotone slides her hair behind her ear. “Now that you've mentioned it. I was, and still am an F. I just can’t help it. It made me a little social butterfly since college.”

“Oh… So you agree with him just now, but not us?” Honggi pokes fun at her retort.

“Shut up!” Kotone exclaims, rolling her eyes at her close friends while they giggle.

“I can’t complain either,” Myungsoo casually comes to his girlfriend’s aid without much hesitation. “Kotone had a habit of comparing other people’s MBTIs back in the day… so I think it’s not too surprising. Even before we were dating—”

“Maja!” Kotone simply chimes in agreement, much to everyone else’s surprise. “And it’s not like I’m the only F in our little group. We had Junghoon too. You know that he’s the most F among us. At times, Honggi can be a little hopeless romantic—”

In the span of those three months, both their worlds began to collide with each other. Mending the time they lost in the last eight years, knowing they’ve also met more and more people before their reunion.

= = =

After a seven-minute stroll from Seoul State University, the couple heads straight to his apartment, one of their two main hangouts, aside from Kotone’s. After half an hour of Chinese takeout while talking over or reacting to the latest drama on TV has been on their night routine in the past month. But sometimes, certain scenes would invoke something in their system. Ones that pull them together. Every warm second.

Their lips have been touching in the last five minutes, sharing each other’s tasty dinner. Kotone couldn’t get enough of the orange chicken on his mouth, moving her tongue to clean the leftovers without leaving any crumbs. Still, Myungsoo, on the other hand…

Something in his mind is telling him to stop, going against his body's hunger. Wait, stop. She might feel uncomfortable… Don't touch her! You’re no different than any other perv! You're an uncivilized deviant! You don’t deserve her—

Overwhelmed by the stream of his own self-deprecating and militant thoughts, his twitching hands stop hers from touching him as well. Their lips part, starting with Tone’s, as their mood quickly fell apart. “What’s wrong?”

“No, umm… It's just, I don't know.” He can't fully explain himself.

“It seems you’re not in the mood…” she surmises, her lips folding into a simper.

“Tone…” he feels more vulnerable, his spirits crumbling with guilt.

“It’s okay… I'll be leaving in a bit too, so I don't mind…”

He maintains his grip on hers, weakening with his voice. “Mianhae.”

“Gwenchana, oppa,” she places her palm on his left cheek—keeping her reason and composure in check. “I’m not mad. It’s okay with me if you’re not ready… With me.”

He wants to say more just to make her stay. Unfortunately, his cowardice has gotten the best of him as the woman bids her farewell for the night with a soft kiss to his left cheek. Oftentimes, she would stay the whole night, snuggling on the couch and binge-watching their favorites on the television or both. Tonight has made the difference and Myungsoo doesn’t blame anyone but himself for not being courageous enough.

= = =

In the day that followed, Myungsoo pays a visit to a nearby cafe with two of his friends. Rather than spending the first hours of his weekend with Kotone like they often do, his own insecurities had driven him to meet up with their mutual buddies.

“I’m surprised Junghoon here even made the time to talk about whatever this will be,” Honggi breaks the ice. “But it’s nice to see the three of us together again.”

“It’s a Saturday,” Junghoon counters right before taking a sip of his teacup.

“That didn't stop you from being busy before… Tone has told us how hard you’ve been working at kitchens, as in plural. We couldn’t believe you even led the catering during the reunion! Like, I get that you must get paid like a lot—but do you still have time for yourself, man?”

“I do… And while your point may be true, Myungsoo-hyung called us here—so it must be about him and Tone-yah, so I wanted to meet with y’all…”

“How did you know?” Myungsoo himself becomes flustered by his guess.

“You called us,” Junghoon points out. “That rarely happens nowadays… Plus, you didn’t sound calm and collected like you usually were.”

“Exactly…” Honggi adds his grievance. “You better make it worth it, hyung.”

Myungsoo gives the two an overview of their awkward and unfortunate situation. In his eyes, he described his girlfriend as someone who’s pure yet passionate. Someone who is innocent while he was still exploring the more adult regions of his own college life, even though she was there too. At least, that's how he mostly saw Tone eight, seven years ago. She’s always been beautiful in his eyes and in his heart. And yet, now that he is living the impossible, he also realizes that innocence has been broken the moment his lips touched hers and yet a part of him still couldn’t accept that for some cosmically absurd reason. A part he’s desperately itching off his mind and skin.

“That’s your problem with her?” Honggi finds his dilemma to be somewhat bewildering.

“So… Are you sure you guys never saw her as a woman?”

“But she is a woman,” Junghoon states the obvious with his monotone voice.

“You get what I mean!” Myungsoo slightly raises his voice in a fit of desperation.

“Well… Since you’re that serious,” Honggi goes first. “I’d say that she was too tomboyish for me most of the time, no offense to Tone. Or you, hyung.”

In his mind, Honggi does have a point. But he didn’t strike her as that mere archetype. Myungsoo’s watched a few of her performances. His answer wasn’t enough to alleviate the unease in his heart. He turns his head to Junghoon, taking his mug of matcha tea.

“How about you, Junghoon-ah?”

“Hyung… I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but aside from being a good friend, Kotone was kind of like an older sister to me, or just a sister in general... I just never got to see her the way you do. And honestly, I like it that way.”

Myungsoo slowly nods with a soft smile. “That’s—ummm—that’s good to know.”

“How about you, hyung..?” Junghoon asks him back. “Since you're together now, I'm sure things will change how you see her in the next level you take.”

“Which shouldn’t even be our business in the first place,” Honggi follows. “But you know what? Junghoon’s got a point. You don’t have to rush anything in your relationship... He doesn’t even have a girlfriend at the moment—and he knows more about this than you!”

With a somewhat awkward, and even confused stare towards his close friend, Junghoon almost raises his index finger, but he is unable to make his voice firm in time. “Actual—”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Myungsoo inadvertently interrupts him, driven by uncertainty. He’s too ashamed to ask them any further questions. Junghoon can only chuckle beside him, softly shaking his head, while Honggi maintains his gaze of disappointment. Those two haven't been through this kind of situation before, not entirely. Still, today, they did their best to help him out without being too intrusive. “Thanks, both of you. Honestly… I don't know if I can get this thing off me without you.”

= = =

He still couldn’t get his mind off after that moment. It was both a small, yet significant mistake. To his overthinking brain, it’s not something he would even consider as small, but since his own closest friends weren’t enough to ease his misgivings, Myungsoo ends up going to someone else for their piece of mind. Despite still being a summer Saturday afternoon, the next meeting would take him to the campus of Seoul State an hour later.

On the same concrete bench, the two of them sit a meter apart from each other, taking refuge under the shade of the nearest maple tree.

“You’re asking me if I know what you did wrong?” She snickers. “Your own ex?”

“Mianhae, Yooyeon-ssi… I really don’t know who else to approach… Well, after Honggi and Junghoon, but it’s just—I’m still lost about our relationship, which I am happy for! But this feels like it’s different, and if I’m gonna mess up taking things to the next level, then I’m scared that I might actually lose her.”

“I’m flattered,” she chuckles. “Gwenchana. Tone-chan’s my close friend, too, you know.”

“I just wanted to hear your side of things,” he fesses up. “I thought that asking for a woman's feedback would make me understand how I can learn and make up with her.”

“And you haven’t seen anyone else since we broke up?” she presses on. “I doubt that.”

“No. They were blind dates and hook-ups, if I even got lucky, but nothing serious.”

“TMI, dude,” she tells him, one of her eyebrows raised and Myungsoo recognizing the dry yet intimidating ick in her delivery.

“Mianhae,” he tells her a second time without realizing it, triggered by disquietude.

Yet her smile remains amidst his somber expression, emanating comfort in his unease. “Again, it’s fine, Myungsoo-yah. But, you know—since you went all the way to visit on a Saturday—without any classes to teach—instead of actually just talking this conundrum out with your girlfriend… Do you really wanna hear what I think about this?”

“If it’s okay with you…” he answers with a slow nod, his smile bracing down to a gloom. “It’s fine if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“Well, I’m not too uncomfortable… And I really can’t say anything about what’s going on with you two, but… Maybe I can give my unfiltered piece of mind about our relationship in the past... I’m sure you wouldn't mind that, would you?”

“The floor is yours.” He spreads his arms wide, as his ears have always been opened.

“When we were together, you weren’t rushing into things with you simply because every other couple was ‘doing it.’ We took our time, Myungsoo—when we felt ready… So why not do the same with her? Or maybe there is something else that's been bugging you?”

“I guess…” His hand left slowly reaches his nape, trying to claw his own tension through his forests of hair. “There is… something… I don’t know, it’s just ridiculous.”

“Hmmm…” Yooyeon contemplates for a moment, interlocking her fingers before placing her chin under them. “Is this… About the whole friendship-to-lovers thing?” she guesses without much effort, tilting her head downwards.

Myungsoo looks up to her in silence, hearing a ding inside his head.

“Ooooooooohhhh…” Yooyeon’s mouth slowly gapes. “Of course… You should know that situations like this are above my pay grade. I teach Natural Science, not Behavioral.”

“Well, one can argue that human behavior is also a kind of natural phenomena, right?”

“You know, for someone who's quite desperate for an ex’s advice, you still know how to joke your way out.”

Myungsoo lets out a scoff, one triggered by pride and embarrassment to admit the truth to her. “I’m not asking you to help me out. And I'm not thaaaat desperate.”

“Whatever you say, Prof,” she rebuts sarcastically. “But… If it helps you fix this weird conundrum that you're having, then I honestly think it's not that uncommon… No matter how many or often someone goes into a relationship, they'll always have something new to explore. Something to solve together. Your problem with Kotone is nothing new for some folks, so you shouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“You know someone with the exact same experience as ours?”

“Well, not exactly,” she clarifies. “It’s more or less the opposite side of the coin in your situation, but I thought of it.”

“In what way?”

“They’ve become much, much friendlier… More of the benefits, and less of the feelings. To the point that the moment she started to catch those feelings, she took it hard when he had to reject her ‘cause he didn't feel the same way.”

“Really?” There's a balance between intrigue and caution in his mind. Maybe even a little bit of sympathy towards the people she mentioned, despite their identities being left out, perhaps out of respect, which he understands.

“Yep…” Her delivery may come off as if she's telling him a cautionary tale. “But they’ve gotten over it, though. They were never in the best position, either. They’ve made some questionable decisions… So it was for the best.”

“Huh…” Yet Myungsoo feels relief, strangely enough, his memory panning back to when they first got together months ago makes him realize just how lucky he is now. That he's not too late.

“I’d say your situation with Kotone is much more ‘blessed,’ to say the least. You may or may not have a little fight about it, but at least, I expect you to be more honest with her by the time comes.”

He cannot wait any longer. That ick towards himself, he wants to get rid of it.

After a sip of her warm cup, a smirk forms on her face. “You know… When we were together, you were so wild and exc—”

“Yah, yah, yah! TMI, noona,” he fires back with his tone of panic as he takes a quick look around the campus, much to Yooyeon’s mischief. She giggles at his reaction.

“You just had to remind me how old I am,” she rolls her eyes, followed by another light chortle. She doesn’t mind honorifics, but he knows that term always triggers something inside her, though with how long he has known Yooyeon, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

“Nothing’s wrong with that,” he assures her with a banter. “About a year from now, I’ll catch up with y’all tricenarians.”

“Whatever, bookworm. But—anyways, I really think that intimacy shouldn’t be a big problem between you two. I may be able to convince you to slow down, ‘cause I know that your relationship will be different… but I still do hope you remember that all good relationships start with trust. Don’t be nervous when you finally open up to Kotone, just because you’re more than friends now and not to mention, I actually expected you to get closer than before as a couple!”

“Thanks, umm… That’s really reassuring, strangely enough.” Coming from his own ex, he knows she’s right about Kotone. They may be exes—but he’s learned a lot from her, and so has she. Good and bad, on both sides.

“I wish you luck,” she continues, making her voice firmer. “To both of you, hmm?”

“I’d say the same exact thing, but, umm… Still, best of luck to you too, Yooyeon-ssi.”

“I’m already thirty, and everyone else in my circle is starting to settle down with their partners. You two are lucky, you know? Like extremely lucky,” she emphasizes more.

“Come on, cheer up!” he slightly raises his pitch out of enthusiasm. “I’m sure you’ll find someone for you... Also, didn't you say before that marrying at thirty is old-fashioned?”

“This isn’t about marriage…” she scoffs and stays silent for a complete second as an idea lights up in her mind. “How about this… You set me up with one of your buddies at your department? Are you good with that?”

“Why not in your own department?” he fires another question out of curiosity. “I mean, I’d love to ask some of them, but weren’t there rumors about you and that Bio—”

“Aniyo! We had one dinner, and—let’s just say he was a bit too much. I’m not against people enjoying their meal, but half an hour in, he’s forgotten that he was on a date. I even had to pay for both our meals, it was a fever dream of a dinner.”

He lets out a chortle, in disbelief that she went along with him. “Oh—so that was true?”

“I don’t even wanna talk about it,” she shakes her head. “I’d rather talk about how often my students GPT their equation exercises than any of my bad dates. They’re that bad…”

“Oh, don’t get me started on some of my students! They really thought they’d get away by making efforts to just write prompts, instead of constructing their actual works.”

With his spirits lifted and mind reassured, Junghoon feels that he’s had enough voices from some of the people he trusts the most. Now, it’s his turn to make it up to Kotone. He takes out his phone from his pocket, while his mind imagines her ranting towards her close friends about his performance issue.

[Hey, Tone. Can we talk at my place tonight?]

[Of course, oppa!]

[I intended to stop by a little earlier, but whenever is fine.]

[Oh. Well, any works for me.]

[Drop by as early as you want.]

[It's just, I wanted to talk to you about something.]

[Of course.]

[I'll make sure to be there by six.]

[I'm just hanging out with a friend.]

= = =

Kotone’s eyes grow from his assumption. “You thought I was too innocent?”

On the contrary, his plan did not go as he expected this Saturday evening. It has only been a few hours since he went outside to ‘consult’ with friends, but he did not expect his girlfriend to find it out all of the sudden. Of course, his mind would first go for the suspect that snitched to Kotone, fueled by annoyance that things had gone off the rails.

“Where did you—It was Junghoon, wasn't it?” he throws the first question. “I know Honggi doesn’t give in that easily… Waaaaa… You two really are like siblings from another motherland.”

But she shuts it down, not letting him change the subject. “Answer the question, oppa.”

“Don't take it that way,” he lowers his cadence, his conscience now realizing that asking her back won’t help alleviate the tension of this situation any further.

“I'm not…” Thankfully, so does she. “I just want us to come clean… Please.”

“Look, I haven't done this in a long while,” he opens up. “I thought it'd be special for us.”

“Just because it's special doesn't mean it has to be, you know...” she reasons.

“What?” Much to his surprise, Kotone manages to cool herself down first.

“Perfect… Nothing ever is, oppa.” She realizes how pointless this moment will be.

“It's because—” he takes a deep sigh, concluding that there’s no other way he can confess to her how he’s truly feeling, especially with how his girlfriend has simmered down and chosen to be the bigger person, even before an argument would have taken place. “It's because—I thought I'll never be good enough.”

The woman’s heart sinks, hearing those words from his own mouth. “Oppa…”

“I know it’s stupid to admit it… But there’s always this feeling that’s holding me back.”

Myungsoo remembers his own words from that day, when he first confessed. When he reciprocated her. How his own body's response just contradicted them, no thanks to his hesitations. He rejected her and giving her more mixed messages won't allow him to get through this hindrance that has been suppressing more of his physical desires for Tone.

“During those moments, my body must have thought that—we're still friends. Even though I don't feel that way anymore... And I don't want you to feel that way too. But looking back, I think I have always fallen for you in more ways I didn't realize before.”

Her eyes widened, heartbeat accelerating with hope towards her love. “How so?”

“I guess, one that sticks to mind is when you performed that one time at the festival.”

“Oh, gosh…” Her eyes quickly close with a wide smile. “That was kinda embarrassing.”

“No. You were amazing,” he counters, cheering her on with his own enthusiasm. ”Even a lot of hoobaes mistook you for a dance or music major.”

“I know…” Kotone can’t help herself from giggling. “The guys would've teased the hell out of me if they weren't in the military then. But I didn't know you saw me like that.”

As neurons continue to fire throughout his mind, Myungsoo recalls another memory. “You’ve also put so much detail and attention to your looks whenever you’re out on a date,” he chuckles with this confession, maintaining his gaze at hers as if her face has mesmerized her. “That includes the double date you pulled me in... Remember that?”

Her face begins to redden. “Yah... That's just common courtesy. No one would wanna go out with someone without a little makeup. That’s not enough for a common gal like me.”

Common is not a word that he sees of her. “Well… I think you’re enough, Tone.”

No words leave her mouth for three seconds, until she comes up with, “What else?”

“Hmm?”

“What else… Made you fall for me?”

“When we first touched last night…” he stammered, keeping himself composed while answering her question. “I freaked out. And I thought you’re innocent, because I was used to thinking that you were pure. So...”

With her eyes glistening amidst the dim room, Kotone's face is the most beautiful thing in his eyes. A mighty and delicate diamond shining in front of him. “Mesmerizing,” he continues. “Something that I couldn't lay my hands on… Because you’re amazing.”

His hand takes hers, feeling its coldness. Yet it's a smooth sensation that cools him down, even though their touch now produces a warm affection from their hearts.

“I wasn't scared because I thought you were innocent…” he confesses, his eyes darting down on the floor out of shame. “I'm scared that when it’d happen, I’d disappoint you.”

“Well… I don't care if you think someone else is a better fit for me. If you think there’s a better version of yourself. If it's with you… That’s all that matters to me, oppa.”

She takes one step towards him. His sense of reassurance suddenly shifts into surprise.

“Kim Myungsoo…” she asks him straight, her pitch deepening. “All this time, have you not seen me as a woman before?” The same question he tried to answer with both their closest friends. The same confession he told her. Her tone still comes off as serious—yet he notices a slight upward curve on her flat lips. She’s just trying to lighten up his mood.

“Tone-yah!” the man still bursts out in panic. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s just—You know… The conversation you must’ve had with Honggi and Junghoon probably went off like that. Your talk with them made you think about our friendship, and I thought maybe that’s what made you think less of me—”

“No… It’s not like that. In my eyes, there’s a lot from you that enticed me. From the day we met.” She's read his mind. Yet slowly, he leans closer to her face. “Your lips. There’s no way I can resist them. I couldn’t… Why should I feel any different with your bod—”

Feeling something pulling them together, Kotone gives into her primal urges first, launching herself at his lips first. His arms catches her—welcoming her lust-driven pounce as she slowly wraps herself around him, a ravenous python desperate for its target. Sharing the level of her libido with him, Myungsoo trails his fingers down her curves until they reach her plump buttocks, no longer hesitant and threatened by his own voices, which are now silenced by his turbulent body as it’s hellbent on one goal. Her physical satisfaction, fueled by his dissipated impulses.

Myungsoo tightens his grip on Kotone’s ass, triggering a moan in-between their kiss. Such a delightful sound striking his ears provokes him to deepen their lips, while his tongue enters Tone’s mouth through a surge of dominance that possessed him.

“There's nothing to disappoint... How you kiss me now. How you… Touch me now...”

Their lips part, as Myungsoo listens to his girlfriend’s suggestive encouragement.

“Plus, I'm no longer your friend... You can touch me,” the daring woman tiptoes to his ear with her hot breath. “Anywhere you want, oppa... I hope that eases your mind.”

Her whisper alone sends a tingle down to his spine, eventually reaching his crotch. He feels his shaft rising—expanding with curiosity. In this instant, he has never felt more alive while he’s succumbing to her arousing spell.

They slowly undress each other—interrupted by sessions of smooches. Kotone latches her lips onto his neck then his clavicle, salivating on his sweat with her lips and tongue as a mark, that this man is hers, and only hers to share her body with, and she wants it now more than ever. For the first time, they see each other's genitals in astonishment.

Before he can consider taking the lead, she pushes him into the bed, with her eyes already focused on his cock. “Let me, oppa.”

Myungsoo only nods to her with submission, while she ties her hair with a rubber into a ponytail within a few seconds, before moving closer to her. She witnesses her lover take a deep breath, inciting a chuckle from her. “Just relax… Okay?” As soon as she’s done giving him a brief show, she joins him on the bed, crawling to the middle with him.

She takes in his rod. Her mouth isn’t the widest, but him witnessing her engulf half of it without much warning immediately sends shivers through his spine as another second, her throat touches the tip of his cock. “Ngh…” he bites his lip as he groans. “Fuuuuck.”

“Oh?” Kotone takes his cock off her mouth, retaining her smirk. “A professor cursing?”

“Mianhaeyo…” Myungsoo huffs with desperation. “You can… Keep going… Tone.”

“What’s the magic word, oppa?” she tantalizes, seeing the helplessness of her lover.

“Please, Tone-chan…” His grip on her shoulder remains tender, keeping herself from riling her up, as his manhood is under her control. “Punish me if you have to. Jebal.”

“Good boy,” she coos, even though his last plea made her eyebrows raised. There’s more from him that she hasn’t discovered. “And I thought I had to put a little more pressure.”

The woman puts her bangs to the side of her ear, locking in as she puts his cock back inside her widened mouth, with more ease this time. Her head moves in and outward. He loves the sensation of being devoured by this unpredictable woman. He couldn’t be any more exhilarated to witness her prove himself wrong. Her pureness, melting away, shifting into this new face he’s rarely encountered, mixed with hints of lust, curiosity, and carnality, right as her eyes dart towards him, just to give him a wink, her simple gestures just keep expanding the girth of his member beyond its limits.

Despite bobbing her head on his manhood up and down with a faster pace, Kotone manages to smear her fingers on her drools and drippings, spreading them down his balls without looking, yet the results would speak for themselves as Myungsoo howls feeling the sudden cold and tingling moisture of his testicles—jiggling and squishing under the palm of her long and thin salivated hand.

“Tone! I’m—shit,” he whimpers, his eyes slowly rolling to the back of his head while the woman devours him with acceleration. “It’s too fucking—Good… Tone-yah—I’m close!”

With a final trick up her sleeve, the woman applies a little pressure on his testicles with her fingers, pulling the trigger to his stimulation. Right as he feels a popping sound on his pulsating rod, followed by a gust of warm semen gushing directly inside her mouth. Much to his surprise, she keeps her mouth closed and gulps it down once she leaves his manhood. As expected, Myungsoo hears Kotone cough out a few drops of seed that she couldn’t swallow, much to his concern while still catching his breath next to her.

He gives the woman a few pats on her back before caressing it. “You alright, babe?”

“Mm-hmm.” Her smirk widens, despite the struggle. “Never tasted something tastier.”

“Let me… Have a taste,” he retorts, leaning closer to Kotone. Unashamed of tasting himself through her mouth. She cups his chin, deepening their already heated kiss.

Letting out a chuckle, Myungsoo distances himself a few inches away while peppering kisses on her thighs, seeking to return his girlfriend the favor, but right before he can kneel on one knee on the carpet, the heaving woman tugs her grip on his right wrist, prompting him to stop and freeze his burning libidinal excitement for a moment.

“Uh, uh, uh…” she giggles with her limited breath, fully aware of his reciprocal intention, yet she moves her index finger from left to right in amusement.

“You don’t want me to?” he mumbles, radiating unease with his submissive tone.

“I do… Just not tonight, baby… You can pay me later,” she whispers and leaves him a wink before slowly pulling him into bed with her. “This time, I want both of us to feel each other on this one, hmm?”

He never minded her tomboyish charms, and now that she’s embodying some traits on his own bed, it’s driving him insane to witness her guide him with entering her regions. As they both sit in front of each other, Kotone wriggles closer with her bottom until she is close enough to wrap her legs around his waist, locking their now closed distance.

“Oh…kay,” Myungsoo holds onto her hips with caution. “I’ll… Put it in now, Tone.”

“That’s it,” the woman peppers his chest and collarbone a few kisses, taking a breath as more of him enters her folds. Sliding as slowly and steadily as he can, Kotone gradually tightens her hold on her lover, welcoming the girth of his lubricated manhood with her walls. “Fuck… Nggghhh…” Leaning her forehead closer on his shoulder, her howls rise while slowly closing her eyes, allowing herself to receive the waves of pleasure he’s giving her with his entry.

Inside Myungsoo's rummaging mind, the man immediately assumes how he may not be the longest she has seen, but it is no small accomplishment for him to hear her moaning without stopping for seconds. Her pitch becomes higher, surprising Myungsoo as he has rarely heard her yell or holler at this sky-shattering range, even whenever she sings with their pals at the noraebang. Her voice already sounds like an angel from day to day, yet this new level gives him a new perspective. A new realm of satisfaction he’s accessing… He can only move his hips inward and outward, yet each pound rewards him with an intensifying sensation that takes him to a higher state of gratifying unconsciousness.

“Tone—Fuck!” He feels his sense of coherence falling apart, his endurance slows down his own member while his thrusts still maintain their balance and strength in her cunt.

On the other hand, she can still keep up with his now dwindling and stuttering thrusts, perhaps with even more stamina than him, while she keeps squirting a few more juices from her bladder while also awaiting the big one on her nether. “Just do it,” she shrieks, feeling her own climax catch her partner’s. “Pleeeease—fucking cum—inside me, baby!”

Myungsoo surrenders to his own climax, busting his load inside her for the first time without restraint. Within the next three seconds, Kotone comes next with all her holler, cumming as well without any sense of worry about his seed inside her womb.

They find themselves plummeting on the bed, with Kotone laying her head on his chest. Myungsoo slowly strokes the side of her hair from its disheveled state, while they heave. He feels an irk of disappointment for giving into his climax too soon, but not discontent. Pulling his cock out of her when it stopped leaking—he muses about reinstating his gym membership or simply pushing himself to jog at a nearby park, like some of his friends. But now’s not the time to wallow in regrets. His impulses pressure him to do it again.

“How was it, baby?” Kotone coos under her breath. Her smirk and cadence still keeps Myungsoo up, in his mind and in his member, even though it has left her walls.

“I'll, uh, I need one more exercise to reassess things,” he admits, making her chuckle at his answer. Another round is in session and now, it starts with him taking the next lead. Gently, Myungsoo takes her by the hand and bends her over while maintaining their eye contact. He leaves her a few more kisses on her nape, initiating a second round with her due to his dissatisfaction about his “performance.”

“Ssaem...” she mutters, the same time they're feeling his cock expand. She's got a wild idea accumulating while receiving his cock again, now from behind. The possibility of his shaft plunging inside her other hole only elevates her expectations and accelerates her drive for his body elevenfold. “I want to... Have you, inside... my fucking—butt!”

“Next time, baby.” It's now his turn to say it, his inflection deepening like hers during their first time. “That'll—ngghh—be another lesson for–us.” His thrusts arise with his groans while Kotone slowly bends her bottom for him to reach. Seeing her butt closer makes him take one hand. A smack would be his first suggestion, yet another idea has taken over, thus forcing him to give her left cheek a squeeze.

The longer she feels a spot of her cheek tightening and heating up under the grasps of his hand, Kotone’s bursts of yelps turn into howls of gratification. “Ooooooh—Fuck!”

The fact that Myungsoo is also entertaining, nay feeding into her fantasy in real time suddenly makes Kotone yelp out subconsciously, even surprising herself and making Myungsoo let out a hoarse chuckle while his thrusts quicken and strengthen with his hand returning to her waist. “That one must have made you excited—did it—baby?”

“Ne!" she complies; his arms still holding hers from behind. “Tight—er—oppa!” Kotone screams. Myungsoo only nods, holding in his chortle as her request compels him to pull her arms closer to him. Her walls constrict around his cock as her back arches, reveling in delight down her nether, which compensates all the stress and tension on her arms— like a rubber band being pulled—as Myungsoo rams her from behind back and forth like a ravenous beast who had been released from his cage, thirsting for this woman’s touch.

The more their bodies pulsate along with their growing moans, his lover’s brown hair keeps on striking his face, like a whip, several times. But instead of finding it to be an unsettling situation, the scent of her hair only drives him to maintain his movement.

Nevertheless, Kotone feels his hindrance from her back, forcing her to mumble “Take it—off… My tie!” with a heavy breath. Before he can comply, however, his eyes land on her exposed nape, a sight that immediately tempts him to lean in and plant his drooling lips on her. “Uggghhhh!” she yelps as her neck bends, facing the ceiling as she now finds herself on cloud nine. He circles his tongue on her damp skin, briefly imagining what he would’ve done to her cunt if she had given him a chance earlier.

Perhaps next time, he tries to assure himself, unaware that Kotone is also yearning for the same desire in her lust-crazed mind, somewhat regretting her decision to skip to the main show. For now, they happily settle on this moment: his cock plunging in and out of her cunt, with him devouring the back of her neck while she muffles her groans.

“Sooooo… Goood…” she murmurs, taking delight in the sudden lukewarm, if not chilling sensation of Myungsoo’s tongue, slithering on her nape like a snake that tastes the sweat that has accumulated on that spot in the past several minutes. Now that he’s more than satisfied with her praises, the man finally raises one hand and slides the hair tie off her, revealing her full hair to him like a princess. A fervent princess who he’s making love to.

With his manhood now reaching deeper than before, Tone's mouth slowly gapes, with her eyes half closed and tongue sticking out, a sight that propels Myungsoo to lean his head closer and latch his lips, seizing the chance to kiss her once again with insatiable appetite. “Ngggghhhhmm… Mmmmmm…”

Their saliva has become a mix of sweet and salty taste blended through the rhythm of their tongue. Myungsoo can still taste his own seed through their kiss, but Kotone’s drool, mixed in with her passion fruit lipstick, and the scent of her perfume, which always entices him, makes it too hard for him to resist.

Paralyzed by pleasure, Tone’s mouth also welcomes him with abandon while Myungsoo lets go of his arm, wrapping it around her waist once again. With both their moans and grunts muffled, their smacking lips and dancing tongues sync in with the noise of their genitals clashing against each other, yielding both ethereal and devilish satisfaction.

But eventually, her primal instinct overcomes her yearning for his touch, Kotone parts her lips from his, leaving a trail of saliva between the two as she gasps for air and gives him the ultimate signal with the words… “I’m… Oppa—please—I’m—close! Do… it!”

Knowing her reminder to him, Myungsoo lets out a groan with his final pound, bursting his seed inside her for the second time. Now, he manages to make Tone cum at the same time, her tongue still sticking out in ecstasy. Instead of letting her plummet straight into the carpet below, the man maintains his grip around Tone’s waist while she catches her breath alongside him. “Gwen…chana…yo?” he mumbles out of concern, also panting.

The woman slowly holds onto her partner's arms and turns around. Despite her flushed skin being poured into the puddle by her own sweat, Kotone reassures him with a wide smile, with her hand rubbing on his right cheek. “Never felt better, oppa…”

Still taking a breather, Kotone takes the first step to the bed, pulling Myungsoo with her as they walk and lie on the mattress without any words. Within the silence, their bodies huddled together to keep them warm amidst the prickling breeze of the room’s air con.

“Oppa… It wasn’t just Junghoon,” she confesses to him out of the blue.

He looks down to her. “Huh?” And yet, unlike a while ago, that sense of betrayal has long left his system, replaced by wonderment as they’re both opening up at their will.

“Yooyeon-unnie also told me,” she adds. “About your little serious counseling.”

At this point, they’re now all caught up with their secrets for the whole day. “Jinjja?”

“She knew you’d hesitate, so she kinda gave me a heads-up. It just freaked me a little… And, I also had my own talk with my friends.” She turns her head from him, giggling out of embarrassment before her mind recalls the personal meetings she’s held on that same morning and afternoon. As it turns out, this couple isn’t as different as they once felt and thought they were before this night.

= = =

“Girl… Just go for it!” the tall woman seated in front of Kotone tries to lift her spirits up. “And it’s not like he friendzoned you… Some friends would even do it without feelings.”

“I don’t know unnie…” She scratches her hair. “I’m not even sure why you’re so pumped up to help me. You’re practically my boss. I mean, you’re the boss of your own team, but still… You’re Zhou-freaking-Xinyu!”

“Okay,” she raises her finger. “First of all, I’m not your boss, technically speaking, even though there’s no work today… And second—we’re old friends! Just chatting about our personal problems and thinking of solutions out of it. So I’m not Zhou Xinyu, let alone Felicia Zhou.” She follows with a sigh. “I’m just your Xinyu-unnie, hmm?”

“Well, unnie… How did you and, you know…” Kotone tilts her head. “How’d you two work things out? With your history and all, you've made the impossible–Possible...”

“We just did…” she shrugs, forming a smile that radiates warmth. “We owned up to our mistakes, embraced our faults without trying to change what we like about ourselves… The more we realized that, well, we knew that we just wanted each other even more. Besides, it’s not like your situation is that different. You and Myungsoo are literally living a friends-to-lover tale!”

A part of Kotone needed to hear those words. Those voices of insecurity and reservation whispering in her brain begin to wither, at least most of it. She couldn’t be any happier for Xinyu being in a relationship of her own, but Kotone can’t help but admit that her circumstances are not really the same as hers, in a thousand ways.

“You don’t have to overthink it, Tone-chan,” Xinyu places her hand on her left shoulder, sensing the echoes of her misgivings through her posture, somber eyes, and downward lips. “Look… I may not be the best woman to ask about relationships… but I’d say that you can learn a lot when you just let some things go with the flow.”

Nevertheless, the older woman’s words manage to ease the part of her self-worth. Prior to her current profession here, Xinyu had her own fair share of trials and tribulations.

“That’s… Not a bad thought… Huh,” Kotone realizes, but something is still irking her. “Thank you for that, unnie.”

As the words of her old friend weren’t enough, she also confided in another’s second opinion about later that afternoon. Contrasting the cafeteria of ModHaus, this friend’s apartment is a little smaller, yet arguably the more confined atmosphere and tangerine walls of the living room makes it a little cozier. Kotone is seated on one of the chairs in the dining table, allowing her friend to listen to her from the vegetable-filled counter.

“That fear. That hesitation... How did you two get past those feelings, Suhyeon-ah?”

The right corner of Suhyeon’s lips raises. “Are you asking me for more details or?”

“Oh, God…” Kotone’s mind quickly went places due to her friend’s reaction, her hands waving rapidly. “No, no! Not like that, Suhyeon-ie… I mean, Xinyu-unnie herself gave TMI when I asked for her advice, but, I’m just asking how you and Sungwoo-ssi have managed to move past your doubts. Before, you know, it happened.”

“Well… I’m not sure about Sungwoo, but for me, it just felt right that we did it—that we wanted to do it, you know—regardless of how different our lives are. I’ll always love my son and be there for him—but that doesn’t mean I can’t start over with someone else…”

With a closed smile, Suhyeon looks down on her damp hands, a few crumbs of carrots and cabbage scattered across her palms and fingertips. Even in silence, Tone senses the aura of passion and perseverance emanating from her. “Dongwon’s father left before he was born—but you and the gang, heck even my fam, reminded me that I have a life too.”

She looks at Kotone—her eyes glowing with hope. “Like you and Myungsoo-oppa… You may have been friends for a long time, but the two of you being together is a new thing that I’m sure will be scary and exciting and like when it was with Sungwoo and me, I’d rather face those things than to never be with him at all, you know?”

From her profound words, she knows it’s simple, but her own hesitation still creeps up to her, something that she tries to shake off. Kotone’s heart begins to feel warmer with appreciation, gratitude towards her close friend—both of her friends, to be exact. This hesitation is something she’s going to have to deal with herself, by facing it head-on.

“How about you, Tone-chan? I’m not asking you if you’re willing to go to the next level with oppa… but how does he make you feel? I’m sure you’ll find your answer yourself.”

Her heart starts to race. Just at the thought of her lover, as they are in each other’s arms. Their lips locking for minutes—savoring each other’s taste as their saliva exchanges and filling the silence of the air with their tongues smacking. His rough yet irresistible skin sliding with her soft skin the longer they stay on the couch. Even the times he’s tickled her almost makes her giggle. The possibility of him carrying her to his bedroom. Tone’s imagination alone makes her swallow her own throat—thirsting for this sensation, and combined with having Ji Suhyeon witness her reaction only makes her embarrassed.

A smirk forms on Suhyeon’s face. She knows. “That’s it… You better have fun, you two.”

Kotone’s throat still feels dry as her heartbeat grows louder. “May I get a glass of water?”

“Help yourself, Tone,” Suhyeon tells her from the kitchen, continuing dicing a whole onion on the counter with her smile still intact. Beside her, the steam on the pot begins to rise. Kotone walks to the cupboard, reaching the nearest glass and maintains her gaze on the water dispenser. “Something tells me that you’re gonna need more of it later.”

= = =

Listening to Tone’s counsels, Myungsoo also agrees with their sentiments. This moment feels right. That’s enough. She’s enough. She’s perfect, even if she doesn’t believe she is. He shakes his head, as relief, disbelief, and gratitude fills his mind.

“Oh… Well, I’m still sorry…” he huffs—pushing himself to complete his sentence in front of her. “I’m sorry I misread you, Tone-chan. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough.”

“No,” she counters with her own guilt. “I’m sorry for freaking out over nothing, oppa.”

He pulls him into his arms. She’s always loved this move from him. “Hey, hey… It wasn’t necessarily over nothing, Tone… Look where that’s gotten us now… When I’ve chickened out of following what my body desires, you’ve taken the lead first, like you always have.”

“Yah…” she giggles at his wholehearted confession, even though it’s making her heart beat a little louder than usual. “You’re complimenting me like I’m your student.”

“That wasn’t my intention,” he admits, almost embarrassed. “Must be a force of habit.”

She nuzzles on his chest, her giggles vibrating on the surface of his chest. “Cheer up. It’s not something I’m against… Since, you should know I also have a lot to learn from you,” she retorts to him, forming a provocative smirk. “—Kim Ssaem.”

“So do… I…” he takes a much deeper breath, keeping himself from giggling at her tease. “Right now, I’ve learned a lot tonight.”

“Hmm?” her eyebrow raised while she hums with lustful intrigue. “Like what?”

“Just now… he puffs. “You've given me an experience I never expected—in a long while.”

“You’re being overdramatic,” she shakes her head, giggling. “You know I can do better.”

“You’ve already rocked my world,” he chuckles. He’s already confessed that he hasn’t had sex in a long time, yet she couldn’t care less. “Whatever you’ll do, whatever we do, I’ll love and cherish it. Whatever we’ll explore—I’ll explore it with you… Because I love you, Kamimoto Kotone.”

Within a second, Kotone’s face of amusement and flirtatiousness simmers down with her smile slowly crumbling. Yet her heart couldn’t feel any more elevated. “O--ppa…”

“Why are you crying?” Worry begins to flow through his veins as he sees her eyes glisten and her voice trembles and stutters. “Tone-chan…”

“You said it… first,” she mutters, while holding the sniffle through her nose. In spite of her mix of emotions, the woman’s lips slowly recurve upwards. “Myungsoo–op—pa…”

He puts his hand on her cheek, placing his thumb where her tears are falling down. “With how long we've known each… I feel like I should've told you sooner.”

“Me too… I love you, Kim Myungsoo,” she continued to sniff with her bawling, albeit now with a sweeter smile. Following only his heartbeat, Myungsoo comforts Tone with a long, sweet tender kiss on her lips, thus allowing her to express herself through her tears of gratitude and warm reciprocation with her beloved.

Wrapped under the gray comforter, the two would still remain in each other’s arms, rubbing their noses side to side and humming amidst the blissful silence for the next several minutes next to the dim lamp on the nightstand until a certain memory flashes back to Kotone just as her tears subside. She noticed those two omamori, the ones she gave him, on his drawer right next to the bedroom door. The sight of those two items trigger another memory she can’t help but share with him at this moment.

“Oppa…” she tugs on his shoulder softly. “I, uhh, just remembered something…”

“Hmm?” his eyes moved down to her face, still sparkling as usual. “What is it, babe?”

“Your birthday’s in two weeks… Isn't it?”

“Oh…” He attempts to keep his own smile from being too obvious. Not even he himself remembers such a momentous personal detail. “You remember?” But she does. Right during the aftermath of their first time, he braces his body from reacting to his mind from conceiving certain carnal ideas, now that the chains of his platonic hindrances have been broken through this passionate night.

“How could I not?” She peppers kisses on his chest, although she keeps the very trigger that made her remember. “I know that ruins any possible surprise—”

“I don’t need surprises, Tone-chan,” he assures her, evoking humility and contentment around her presence despite feeling the appropriate response of his own member, right under their blanket. “Tonight might as well be the greatest gift I’ve had.”

“Yah… Is it because we did it?” she coos, flustered by his sentiment. Despite harboring some ideas for him on his special day, Kotone brushes them off and only feels at ease.

“That’s one factor,” he simply affirms, grinning to the teeth. “I’m still… Sorting out the rest, but they’re all because of you, beautiful.”

She giggles at his bold remark. “So… Do you mind if I stay for the night?” she asks with a much coyer tone, concealing hints of shyness as she anticipates his response.

“Is that even a question?” he scoffs, but a sigh of uncertainty leaves his breath, not much about her, but himself. “I was—umm—I was actually hoping you’d stay… A little longer.”

“Well… You got it, oppa,” Kotone finally affirms to her boyfriend, holding her sniffs for a moment. Wiggling upwards like a worm, the woman levels her gaze with Myungsoo on the same pillow as his, closing their distance as her lips touch his once more, relishing the mix of saltiness and sweetness which their hearts and bodies have been craving the whole night. But, just as their prolonged kiss would have once again progressed into an uninhibited makeout session, both parties would slowly feel a slow rumbling on the woman’s stomach.

Kotone herself becomes startled by her body’s warning. As their lips part with a short trail of saliva that quickly breaks, both are unable to conceal their laughter at her own bodily warning. “That was, uh, embarrassing,” Kotone shakes her head. “I just realized that we did it on an empty stomach… Mianhae.”

“It’s not that embarrassing, babe…” he reassures her with two pecks, one to her nose and another on her forehead. “I’m kinda hungry too now that your tummy has brought it up, so how about we order dinner? It’s your pick… And it’ll be my treat for tonight.”

“How about some galbi?” she suggests, the trembles on her voice and sniffles subsiding.

“You want a side of samgyupsal with that one, too?” he suggests. “I'm kinda in the mood for a heavier meal.”

“Kol!” she quickly raises her hand in the air, giving him a thumbs up. “We'll just burn those calories at a later time, won't we?”

“Tone-chan!” His eyes widen as he bursts into laughter alongside her. “You perverted red panda! Aigoo… I ought to do something with you.”

“We’ve got the rest of the night, oppa,” she snickers, playing along with his proposition while giving his moist stomach four playful pats. “No need to worry about it.”

“Worry about what?”

Despite him still being a little slow in processing her remark, the woman looks up, sliding her legs on the mattress to inch herself centimeters closer to him. Her warm breath brushes in front of him, directly sending her pheromones. “Doing something with me… To me.”

Realizing what she means, Myungsoo chuckles, slowly placing his thumb on Kotone’s lower lip and whispering “I feel the same way, love,” right as they seal their love with another, sweeter smooch.

= = =

it's not as fleshed out as I wanted it to be, but I still hope you liked it. while I struggle to complete some of my current wips, I might start dropping another series, one that's not yet on my masterlist, but one that's been stuck on my drafts since forever. it'll be a little more fluff and angst at first since it's a longer series, but I hope you stay tuned for it. but for now, I hope you're having a great day! until next time.

#triples smut #triples fluff #male reader #male reader smut #kpop au #kotone smut

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hotchsprncess · 15 days ago

Text

get it girl ⊹ emily prentiss

.ᐟ MDNI .ᐟ

ᝰ summary : a night out at the bar with your friends takes a turn when the older woman you've been eyeing offers to buy you a drink. after some flirting and subtle touches, she brings you back to her apartment for a night to remember.

ᝰ warnings : fem reader, age gap (reader mid 20's, emily is 54 in 2025), alcohol mentions, flirting, dom!emily, sub!reader, mommy kink (sorry not sorry), praise, teasing, dirty talk, nipple play both ways, oral & fingering reader receiving, scissoring, multiple orgasms

it's pride month and i'm bi as fuck so yk i had to write my first emily fic this month teehee 🤭 this woman is a lesbian to me and i will never shut up about it and i just know she fucks so goodddd 😫 this is so self-indulgent help!!! okay anyways enjoy and happy pride ₊✩‧₊˚

you hadn't been at the bar very long, maybe 30 minutes, but your friends already had to pee and were making their way through the sparse crowd to join the line at the women's bathroom. you decided to mosey your way over to the bar and get another drink, or at least that's what you told your friends. you were really heading over there to hopefully spark up a conversation with the older woman who had been eyeing you from across the bar. you had been eyeing her too, who could blame you? she was stunning; hair grey and wavy, her shirt low cut just enough to tease but also professional in a way, her hand neatly manicured as it wraps around a beer bottle which she brings to her lips that seem to remain in a smirk.

the bar stool beside hers was miraculously vacant, so you strutted your way over and took a seat, her perfume filling your nose as you sat down. she smelt of floral notes, but in the expensive way. you look for the bartender and see that they're busy with another customer, tapping your fingers along the bar as you now begin to feel a little awkward finally being in her proximity.

"can i buy you a drink?" her voice interrupts your thoughts, the cadence kind yet holding some depth.

you look over to her and bite your lip softly, admiring her for a moment before providing an answer.

"that's really sweet of you, i'd love that.. just a tequila sunrise, please"

she nods and smiles at you before catching the attention of the bartender, whose name you learn is joe, and a minute later a fresh tequila sunrise is in front of you. your phone buzzes in your hand, a text in your groupchat lighting up the screen.

'get it girl!! she's fucking hot'

you giggle and react to the message with a heart, shoving your phone in your purse as you face the mysterious woman once more.

"besides gorgeous, what's your name?" she asks, crossing one of her legs over the other as she studies you with a look you can't quite figure out.

a light blush fills your cheeks, twirling your straw around in your drink as you tell her your name. "what's yours? you could easily be named gorgeous too"

she chuckles lightly, "thanks, angel. i'm emily" she takes a sip of her beer before continuing, "i'm really glad you came over here, i saw your friends leave and i was about to head over to you"

"well i'm glad we both had a similar plan, i didn't want to miss my chance with you" you lean a little more towards her now, warming up and getting flirtier with every minute that passes.

she hums in response, a hand coming to rest on your thigh. the feeling of her touch sends a chill through your body, the mere heat of her hand making you want to moan out loud. you needed her badly. it was a visceral feeling of need, even if you'd only exchanged a few minutes of conversation.

"what do you do for work?" you ask a bit shakily, sipping your drink to keep adding some liquid courage to your body.

"i'm in the fbi, unit chief of the behavioural analysis unit" she says it so nonchalantly as though it isn't impressive (and hot as fuck).

"wow, that's extremely cool, and makes you even hotter" you giggle and she does the same, her nimble fingers dancing along your thigh and toying with the hem of your mini dress.

"i'm glad you think so, but i'm more interested in what you do" you allow your hand to rest on top of hers, which happens to be gradually pushing your dress up just slightly, allowing her to touch more of you and get closer to where you need her most.

"i'm actually finishing up my master's in forensic psych, but i work as a receptionist in the meantime"

"that's amazing, you seem like a hard worker"

"i try" you smile, gingerly dragging your nails up her forearm.

"your friends not coming back for ya?" she inquires, her hand squeezing at the plush of your thigh and making your core throb.

"nope, they let me off the hook" you lick your lips, observing how her eyes flicker down to them and follow the movement of your tongue.

"well, if you're interested in going somewhere quieter and more... private, i don't live far away" she suggests, the voice inside your head screaming yes over and over.

"i'm definitely interested, emily" you finish the last sip of your drink as she hops off her stool, holding her hand out to you and steadying you as you hop down as well.

"i didn't drive here though, is it okay if i join you in your car?" you ask shyly, not wanting to impose even though the woman just invited you to her apartment.

"of course, don't be silly" she places her hand on your lower back as she guides you both out of the bar, the evening breeze washing over your face as you walk to her car.

•·················•·················•

you could hardly keep it together on the drive to her place; even the way she drove was sexy and the prospect of potentially fucking her tonight made your head spin.

once you get into her apartment she ushers you to the couch, "do you want some wine? i have a merlot open"

"that's my favourite, yes please" you smile at her before taking a seat on her couch, looking around her living room and taking note of the minimalism of it. only a couple pictures of her with other people, everything brown and black in colour, a vanilla scented candle on the coffee table.

she joins you a minute later, handing you your glass before settling in on the couch so she's close but facing you nonetheless.

"cheers" she holds her glass out to you, to which you clink yours against it before taking a sip.

"i have to say, going from beer to wine is crazy" you giggle, swirling your wine around in the glass and watching as the red waves ride up the sides.

"i don't disagree, but i've done crazier" she smirks and takes a gulp, her hand gravitating to your waist this time, drinking you in with lust filled eyes.

"by the way, this dress looks fucking good on you, it fits you well and just... accentuates every part of you" she whispers in a tone that reeks of sensuality, placing her glass on the coffee table in front of you both.

you follow suit and set your glass down, "thank you, i was hoping someone would appreciate it" you whisper back and reach to place your hand on her cheek, urging her face closer to yours.

"i won't be able to stop myself, i'm just telling you now" her breath tickles your lips, her hands gripping at your hips now.

"i have no idea why i'd want you to stop"

she kisses you urgently, your lips meshing together and moving in sync as you start to feel each other up. your tongues slide against one another, her hands groping your ass harshly as your hands start to unbutton her top.

"bedroom" she breathes out as your lips part, dragging you down the hall and into her room.

her bedroom is dimly illuminated by her bedside lamp, filling the room with a soft glow and bringing light to a space that is usually dull in colour. she guides you onto the bed, lying you back as she begins her descent on your neck; biting, sucking, licking and marking you up. she hums in delight as you run your hands into her hair, sucking on a sensitive spot along the column of your neck. she pulls away and smirks at her handiwork, her hands traveling to the hem of your dress and starting to push it up your body.

"need this off you, baby" she ushers it up and over your head, leaving you on display in your black lace bra and panties.

she licks her lips as she looks you over, her hands creeping behind your back and unclasping your bra with ease. she instantly grabs your tits in her hands, pressing them together and diving in to run her tongue along your hardened nipples.

"god, emily-" you gasp, arching your back into the warmth of her tongue. her tongue moves with precision, flicking over the bud and swirling around it like it was a routine she had perfected.

"you have such pretty nipples" she murmurs before sucking one fully into her mouth, her thumb and index finger toying with the other.

she repeats the same action to the other, your whines proving to be music to her ears. her empty hand moves down your body, trailing along the top of your panties and sending shivers up your spine. she releases your nipple and looks up at you through her lashes, kissing down your torso before she reaches the spot where her fingertips were just ghosting over.

"please" you mewl, squirming slightly under her out of desperation.

"hm?" she hums, pressing a kiss to your clothed clit, "please what? what do you need?"

you whine louder at the gentle touch placed upon your throbbing clit, "please, i need your mouth, please! need it so fucking bad"

satisfied with your response she tugs your panties down your legs and off, her hands pushing your thighs apart and putting your glistening cunt in the forefront of her vision.

"fuck― pussy's dripping, angel.. who's this for?" she admires the sight as her thumbs spread your pussy, watching as you clench around nothing. she situates herself comfortably so your pussy is right in front of her face; taunting her and begging to be tasted.

all you can do is whine in response, resulting in a smack being placed on the inside of your thigh, causing you to jolt slightly.

"are you gonna answer me?"

"it's- it's for you, all for you"

"oh yeah?" she moves forward and drags her tongue along your slit, gathering your wetness before she glides it back and forth over your swollen clit, stimulating the bundle of nerves.

"o-oh my god" you moan, your grip in her grey locks tightening as she sucks your clit into her mouth, lips wrapped around it beautifully. she sucks on it as though it's her full-time job, her middle finger plunging into you and caressing just the right spot inside of you.

"fuck, mommy, that's so good! h-how-" your mind is fuzzy as you let the name slip before you can even think it through, moaning loudly as she guides you closer to your orgasm with each stroke of her finger and pull of her lips.

the name causes her to moan into you before releasing your clit with a 'pop'. you whimper at the loss of contact, attempting to push her face into you again. she doesn't budge and rather just slides another finger into you, smirking as you moan in response.

"mommy, huh?" she kisses your clit again, pumping her fingers in and out faster now.

heat rises in your cheeks at her teasing, grinding down onto her fingers that are now curling inside of you and thrusting you towards the edge at a rapid speed.

"you want me to be your mommy tonight? tell me"

"yes please!" your breath is erratic as you clamp down around her fingers, legs beginning to quiver.

"good girl― cum for me, give it to me... that's it" she coaxes your orgasm out, coating her fingers in your juices as you shake and squirm under her touch.

your chest heaves as you come down while she slowly pulls her fingers out of you, sitting back on her knees as she brings them to her mouth to get another taste of you.

"taste so fucking sweet" she praises, holding eye contact with you as she licks you clean from her fingers.

you push yourself up and onto your knees as well, reaching to finish unbuttoning her shirt which you had originally started on the couch. her hand grabs the back of your neck as she pulls you into a kiss, a passionate one at that, as the taste of yourself makes it's way into your mouth. you eagerly toss her shirt aside, immediately ridding her of her bra as well. you pull back to finally see her bare chest, ogling at the sight. you grab hold of her tits, moaning quietly at just the weight of them in your hands; heavy and fucking perfect.

you duck your head so you can latch onto her nipple, pulling the bud into your mouth and relishing in the feeling of it between your lips.

"such a good girl, baby, that feels so good" she moans, pressing you into her with a hand at the back of your head, her other fiddling with the button and zipper on her dress pants.

she manages to get her pants undone as you move to her other nipple, getting lost in her as you suck and listen to her soft moans. you pull away and grab at them again, "they're so pretty.. and big"

she chuckles as you push her to lie back now, shimmying out of her pants and panties. she looks divine as you shift to get between her legs but she corrals you back onto your knees, much to your dismay.

"but-"

"no, put that pussy on mine, now" she demands and spreads her legs, holding you steady at your waist as you position yourself over her.

you sink down to fully press against her now, your clit brushing hers as you start to roll your hips, the slick between you two starting to spread. you move slowly at first, but her hands grabbing at your ass and guiding your hips encourages you to go faster.

"that's it, angel... so gorgeous" she breathes as she watches your hips continuously grind, your clits nudging one another with each maneuver.

you're moaning loudly on top of her, the sensation so blissful as you provide both yourself and emily with pleasure.

"oh my god, mommy, it- i- fuck" you were completely drunk on her and her pussy alone, alcohol long gone, grinding your clit on hers with no other thoughts or qualms or goals besides making her cum.

the sound of the wetness between you both was deafening; squelching and smacking and sloppy. it reverberated off the walls of her room, joining the chorus of both of your moans.

"you hear that, princess? hear how wet it is between us? you soaked mommy with that cunt" her hands continue to aid you in your grinding, your speed now voracious and quickening by the second.

"yes, yes, wet" you whine, bucking against her rapidly as she increases her grip on the globes of your ass, throwing her head back further against the pillow. your clit is throbbing against her own, your juices mixing with hers as you fervently push you both towards an orgasm.

"don't fucking stop, you're doing such a good job, gonna make us both cum, aren't you?"

you nod vigorously as your second orgasm nears, "cum- mommy- i'm gonna cum-"

"me too, baby, i'm cumming with you― that's my girl, cum for me again, cum for mommy"

you borderline scream as you cum atop her, legs shaking and twitching as she grips your ass so hard there might be bruises in the morning, her own body twitching slightly as she reels from her own orgasm.

you collapse onto her, body splayed completely over hers, hot and sticky and sweaty but beyond content. she chuckles and wraps her arms around you, hugging you close to her chest as you both catch your breath and come back down to earth. she presses a kiss to your head as you lie there, meshing your naked body with hers in an intimate way once more, but with a hint of something deeper this time.

"how does a bath and finishing that merlot sound?"

#criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #emily prentiss #emily prentiss smut #emily prentiss fic #emily prentiss x reader #wlw smut

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