#english did not have a word for COUSIN until borrowing it from french

[dsudis]

Medieval peasants did not behave in a manner modern social scientists think of as optimal for their circumstances.

--Barbara A. Hanawalt, The Ties That Bound: Peasant Families in Medieval England.

(Dr. Hanawalt explains that there is no real evidence that English peasants were living in or even particularly acknowledging the existence of extended kinship groups in the 14th-15th century, no matter how much anthropologists think they should have been.)

[inky-duchess]

21 History Ancedotes for my 21st Birthday

So today I celebrate my 21st birthday and I have decided to gift you all with 21 of my favourite historical Ancedotes. Some are funny, some are sad and some are plain bizarre but I hope the make your day 💜

Mary Maloney, an Irish-born suffragette in England followed Winston Churchill around while he was campaigning for a seat in Parliament, drowning out everything he said with a very large bell and calls for him to apologise for his comments on women's rights and suffrage movements.

Clodius Pulcher was a well born Roman noble during the last day's of the Republic. He gave up his Patrician status to become Tribune of the Plebs (an office in which one had to be a Pleb) by being adopted by a much younger Plebian man who became his "father". Clodius was a bit of a riot, sneaking into religious festivals dressed like a woman to sleep with Caesar's wife, building a shrine to Liberty in the ruins of the Conservative Cicero, vetoed the last speech of one of the Consuls (who basically did nothing all year and was apparently going to roast Caesar) and burned down the Senate House with his funeral pyre (the Plebs who loved him literally tearing up the furniture to build his pyre). He was honestly the best fun.

When laying on her deathbed, Queen Caroline of Ansbach turned to her husband George II of England and told him he should marry again. George refused to ever wed again... But added he would have mistresses. Caroline said , likely with a roll of her eyes, "oh my god that doesn't matter."

Florence was a pretty cool city in the Renaissance until Savanorola came to town. He disliked the loose living artists that crowded the city, with their naked pagan gods and rampant homosexuality. He expelled them all with help of the French hoping to make Florence Holy Again. When the Borgia Pope excommunicated him and sentenced him to death, one man in the crowd was reported to have said. "thank God, niw we can return to sodomy." One Floretine man in the 1490s said Gay Rights.

So this list couldn't be complete without an entry of the only American politician I love, Alexander Hamilton who was just a walking entity of sass. I could go on about his sharp sarcasm or his disaster bi vibes with John Lauren's but my all time favourite Alexander Hamilton ancedote has to be this exchange with Thomas Jefferson "There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair."

Caterina Sforza was an Italian noble woman during the Renaissance. She was apart of the powerful Sforza family, which drew many enemies to her. One fateful day at Forli, Caterina's children were snatched as hostages. The besiegers threatened to kill her children if she did not cede the castle. Caterina refused, lifting her skirts and shouted to the besiegers that she had the means to make more children.

Hannibal Lecter's creator Thomas Harris was happy to end his great character's story with the original trilogy. However his publishers forced him to write an unneeded prequel explaining why Hannibal became Hannibal. Thomas Harris agreed lest he lose the rights to his character so he wrote Hannibal Rising, where Hannibal as a young man hunts down the Nazis who ate his sister with a katana.

Nell Gwyn is my favourite mistress of Charles II, mainly because of her sass. Once while trapped in the middle of a riot where Londoners swamped her carriage thinking she was Charles's Catholic mistress. She popped her head out the carriage and told the people "Pray good people be civil. I am the Protestant whore." She also dosed her rival Moll Davis with laxatives in order to free up some of Charles's time and she once flashed her underwear at the French ambassador after asking him why the Franch King did not pay her to spy on Charles because she was with him every night. A true Queen.

Emperor Ai of the Han Dynasty of China once rose from his bed to go do some ruling when he realised his lover, Dong Xian was sleeping on his sleeve. Rather than disturb his lover, the Emperor cut his sleeve off at the wrist to leave Dong Xian nap. Nothing has ever been more romantic than that. Y'all could never.

Princess Margaret the sister of current Queen Elizabeth II was a socialable Princess and often tasked to visit the up and coming music stars of the day on behalf of the Crown. When meeting the Beatles one evening, she noticed George Harrison was acting a little odd. When she asked what was the matter, he replied "We arent allowed eat until you go." Princess Margaret laughed and promptly left so the Beatles could get some dinner.

During the Siege of Jadotsville, Irish soldiers under the flag of the UN were attacked and besieged by local insurgents allied with the Katanga Regime. The insurgents numbered thousands while the Irish only had 158 soldiers, all who were lightly armed. They radioed to their allies assuring them that "we will hold out until our last bullet is spent. Could use some whiskey though".

Napoleon was famous for writing raunchy letters to his wife, the Empress Josephine while he was away. She used to reply with really mundane letters or not at all. She really just could not be bothered with him.

Josip Broz Tito was so fed up with Joseph Stalin sending assassins to kill him, he wrote to Stalin personally to say "If you don't stop sending assassins to kill me. I will send one to Moscow and I won't have to send another." It didn't work but Big Dick Energy.

Successful Roman soldiers returning from war often got to march along in parades known as Triumphs. During this, it was customary for them to sing bawdy songs about their commander. One surviving one about Caesar goes like this "Romans, lock up your wives. Here comes the bald adulterous whore. We pissed away your gold in Gaul and come to borrow more."

Matilda, Lady of the English was a woman so badass that history cannot handle her. She was the daughter of Henry I who left his throne to her after the death of her brother. She was away in France when her father died and her throne was snatched by her cousin Stephen. They battled back and forth for years with neither side ceding any ground. Matilda was once besieged in a castle during a snow storm, with Stephen's men all around her. Instead of fighting her way out. She simply donned a white cloak and walked out of the castle. Just walked out without any of Stephen's men seeing her.

Pedro of Portugal once fell in love with a beautiful lady in waiting called Inez de Castro. For years, they lived as man and mistress, popping out a few kinds. Pedro's dad really did not like Inez and wanted Pedro to find a legitimate wife so he had her killed. Pedro returned home to find the mother of his children dead. Pedro went a little crazy. He had all his father's assassins killed, ripping out their hearts as they had done to him. When Pedro ascended the throne, he demanded the Pope legitimize his children by Inez. The Pope not wanting to upset the King, said he couldn't because Inez was never crowned Queen. Pedro dug Inez up and crowned her as Queen, having all the nobility swear loyalty to her corpse. The Pope had no choice but to agree to his request.

A famously clever general once saved an entire city with an ingenious stragety to sit outside the city waiting for the attacking army to come. The attack had come to fast for the city to ready themselves for a Siege so, the general had to move quickly. He evacuated the city and took his place waiting for the army to come. The enemy forces stopped and took one look at him and bolted, thinking he meant to lure them in one of his famous traps.

Michaelangelo was really badly treated by the Vatican when he was painting the Sistine Chapel. He constantly fought with the Popes over the design and his work, which he was paid peanuts for. Michaelangelo got his revenge in his work, painting the gates of Hell behind the Papal Throne and an angel flipping the ol' fig (the Renaissance version of the bird) toward the Pope's chair.

Peter the Great was not a perfect guy. He kept serfdom as a practise in his kingdom, he had his son tortured to death and he could be an unpleasant guy. But Peter was a dreamer. He wanted nothing more to build a fleet for Russia and bring Russia beyond its borders. Peter took a gap year from ruling Russia to wander around Europe. When he stopped in England, he was granted Leicester House to chill in while he did his shipwright studies. It was here that Peter found a new passion. The wheelbarrow. Cue Peter and his new found English buddies drinking in Leicester House, punching the artwork and rolling each other around in barrels across the house's Great gardens.

Diogenes is hands down a walking shit post. He was a great thinker in Greece during the reign of Alexander but a rather dry, sarcastic wit. He lived in a pithos/a jar because he shunned all vanities and values of society. He trolled other philosophers, attending their debates to heckle them and eat loud foods through them. When Alexander the Great came to fan boy over him, saying that if he were not Alexander he would like to be Diogenes to which Diogenes just said "yeah me too, now get out of my sunlight."

Cosimo de Medici was the son of a Floretine banker with a great knowledge and love of art. Cosimo wished for Florence to release its potentially and join the Renaissance. He hired Filippo Brunelleschi to finsh the Great Dome of Santa Maria del Fiore which had láin unfinished for over a century, a symbol of a failure of ambition. The builders had lost the knowledge of creating a dome so large so it remained unfinished. Despite much opposition from the other nobility and denouncers of the Renaissance, Cosimo's dream of the completion of the dome was completed, making it the largest brick dome in creation at that time. There is nothing like achieving your dreams and certainly nothing like leaving a lasting reminder that screams 'I was right and you were wrong' to stand for centuries.

[etoileholland]

Seeing Double

Anonymous asked: Hello, my dear, got a fun ask! Tom meets up with reader except it’s actually reader’s twin cousin, maybe aunt (some people get the good genes) and they react defensively when he tries to be affectionate which confuses him at first thinking he did something wrong and tries to win her back over but it gets cleared up in the end

Pairing: Tom x female reader

Warnings: none :) 

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: I’m so sorry this request is a while overdue, but it’s better late than never I suppose. Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist :)

“I cannot believe this.” You muttered to yourself as you hung up the phone with your aunt, Manon. She had just called to say that her and her daughter, Chloé, have come up from France to visit via train. It wouldn’t have been a problem, except for the fact that they had once again shown up unannounced. 

You walked into the living room of yours and Tom’s shared home to see Tom sitting on the couch, laptop on his lap. He was typing away vigorously at the keyboard, and you knew that when he’s this focused, you shouldn’t bother him. 

“Babe,” you said, hoping to try to get Tom’s attention for a second. 

“Hmm?” He hummed, not looking up from the laptop. 

“I just got off the phone with my aunt. She called to say that she’s at St. Pancras and they’ve dropped by for an unexpected visit.” 

“Oh.” Tom replied. 

“Yeah, oh indeed.” You answered. “I don’t want them taking an Uber so I’m gonna pick them up, but I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay love, drive carefully.” He didn’t bother looking up from the laptop, eyes fixed to the screen. 

Walking over to the front door and letting yourself out, you went outside to your car in the driveway. After starting it, you drove to the station to greet your family. 

You loved when your aunt and cousin visited, but you wished that they had called you before so that you would’ve had time to prepare. You desperately needed groceries and the guest room could’ve been spruced up a bit, but luckily they weren’t too pretentious. Still though, a call before they left France would’ve been nice. 

You hadn’t seen them in a long time, and you wondered if you and your cousin Chloé still looked nearly identical to each other. The resemblance was uncanny, so much in fact that your own parents had a hard time telling each other apart. Everything was nearly identical, even down to fashion choices and mannerisms. It was all fun and games until you were almost always the one about to go back to France, and not your cousin. 

When you were both children, it was easier to tell you both apart because of the accents. She definitely had a French accent while you didn’t. Well at least, until  you taught the other how to speak each other’s language without an accent; her English being spoken without a French accent and your French being spoken like a native.

You two were the same age, same height, your body shapes were similar, and you both even had the exact same birthmark on your arm. So really, you two were more like twins than you were cousins. 

Upon arriving at the train station, you easily spotted your cousin and aunt, luggage in tow. Even after not seeing each other for a few years, and not knowing what the other was wearing, you and your cousin still managed to even dress the same-both of you wearing a pink hoodie and black leggings, with white sneakers. How odd. 

“Mon ange, t’es très belle.” Your aunt cooed, running to you to give you a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. 

“Merci.” You replied, hugging her tightly. She was more of like a mother figure to you than she was to your cousin Chloé, since Chloé tended to be a bit less affectionate. That was another way that your parents could tell you apart, which was by how affectionate you were, and how unaffectionate Chloé was. She was stereotypically French in many ways, except she wasn’t affectionate. If you tried to hug her, she would stand there stiffly, while you loved being hugged. 

With that in mind, all you did was wave to Chloé, which was her favourite way of greeting people. 

“I still can’t believe you actually live here.” She remarked. 

“What, as in England? You know I love it here.”

“But everything is weird here. The food, the accents, the culture…” she trailed off, while you laughed lightly. 

“I don’t think so, personally I love it.” You said as you grabbed her luggage and began to walk to the car. 

“My love,” your aunt interjected, “don’t be rude. We’ve talked about this, yeah?” 

“Yeah, whatever.” Chloé replied as she got into the car. 

“Ignore her.” Manon whispered to you, “she’s just French” which got a laugh out of the both of you. 

—

About an hour or so later, you had arrived back to your home with Manon and Chloé, luggage in hand. Tom wasn’t where you had last seen him before you left for the station, but maybe he had gone to clean the guest room. Or at least, you hoped he did. 

“Chloé, since I’m pretty sure the guest room needs to be tidied, you can just put your luggage in my bedroom instead.” You pointed at the door that was slightly ajar. 

“Merci.” She grabbed their luggage and walked towards the door of your bedroom, opening it to see your boyfriend sat on the bed. 

“Hey baby.” He looked up from the laptop screen and gave a smile, all while Chloé looked at him funny. She completely ignored what he had said and walked to the closet to set the bags down. 

“I said, hello baby.” He pouted, but Chloé stared at him, silent as she walked out of the room.

“Well, that was odd.” Tom remarked under his breath, but didn’t think twice about it as he went back to typing. 

—

After settling in a bit, you and your aunt Manon had tidied up the guest room, all while Chloé had a snack in the kitchen. 

After rummaging through the nearly bare cabinets, and scoffing at the English snacks in the cabinets, Chloé settled on a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee to help combat the jet lag. 

Just then, you and Manon entered the room, jackets and purses in hand. 

“Hey, we’re gonna go get some groceries for the household, do you wanna come with?” You asked Chloé, but she shook her head no. 

“You know I hate grocery shopping.” She remarked, scrunching her nose at the thought of going to the shops. 

“Right, just wanted to ask.” You hesitated, taking a step back. “If there’s anything you want though from the store, just text me. And can you let Tom know that I’m heading out? He’s busy working so I haven’t seen him since we arrived, but I presume he’s in our bedroom.” 

“Alright.” She replied flatly.

“Great. See you in about an hour or so.” And with that, you and your aunt had left the house, leaving Chloé alone. 

The house felt eerily empty, and she was beginning to regret not tagging along with you and her mom. She disregarded the thought as she went to take a sip of her coffee, nearly letting out a scream when she burnt her tongue on the hot liquid. She quickly spit out the drink, but the drops got on her shirt.

“Putain,” Chloé muttered under her breath, “fuck.” She walked over to the kitchen sink, hoping to get the stain out of the shirt. It somewhat worked, but now the shirt was soaked, and she hated the sensation of wearing wet clothing. 

“Now I’ve gotta change.” She said to herself, walking out of the kitchen and back into your bedroom. 

Remembering that she had last seen Tom in your bedroom, she knocked first before waiting a second to make sure the room was empty. She heard nothing, so she cracked the door open to take a peek inside. Tom must’ve moved to another part of the house, so she walked in there to change. She stopped in her tracks as she noticed your closet door open, all while one shirt caught her eye. She grabbed it off the rack and walked over to the mirror to see if it looked good on her. 

It was Tom’s white Saint Laurent shirt with the name of the brand embroidered in cursive on the front. Chloé held it up to her, noticing that it would fit her perfectly.

That shirt happened to be one of your favourites to borrow from Tom, and you wore it so much that he gave it to you. He always said that shirt looked better on you anyway.

She pulled the shirt over her head, admiring in the mirror how good the shirt looked on her. The shirt was a little long, but it was extremely comfortable. She heard a little knock on the door and looked back to see Tom standing in the doorway.

“Darling, you know I love that shirt on you.” He walked towards Chloé, and she took a step back. Tom looked at her puzzled, while she gave him the same confused look back.

“Listen, I know you’re stressed that your family showed up unannounced, but there’s no reason to be mad at me.” He said as he tried to put his arms around her waist. Chloé then shimmied out of his grasp and held his arms away from her.

“I am not Y/N.” She stated, and Tom laughed.

“Sure you’re not, like I’m not Tom.” He smirked and she shook her head.

“I promise I’m not Y/N.” She said again, but he looked at her like she said that the sun didn’t exist.

“God you are acting weird today.” He tried to pull her into an embrace but she shoved lightly at his chest.

“Get off of me, you idiot. I am not your lover!” She exclaimed, while Tom just was silent.

He backed up, walked out of the room and stood in the hallway. There was no way that wasn’t Y/N, he knows his girlfriend and that clearly is her.

I know she’s just stressed, so I’ll order her some fish and chips from the shop down the way, he thought to himself.

—

While at Tesco, you and your aunt shopped for an hour, easily losing track of the time while you wandered the aisles. 

“Mon ange, you know I love spending time with you.” Manon stated as she browsed the aisles of pasta. 

“And I love spending time with you.” You added, lightly touching her arm. “I wonder how Chloé is handling it at home.” You remarked as you shared a glance, shrugging your shoulders while continuing to shop.

—

“What the hell is this?” Chloé picked at the food on her plate, scrunching her nose as she picked at the food.

“Okay you’ve gotta quit this, you know you love it when I order fish and chips for you.”

“This looks like shit, and I have no idea why you Brits think this is...how do I say, edible.” She seethed, not wincing when she saw Tom’s face contort into a frown.

“Okay, that does it! I thought you would like it.” 

“Why would you think I would like this? I can think of many other things I would rather eat, even dog food would be more appetizing than this.” She pushed the plate away, and stood up from the table. 

Tom sat there, in shock of what to do. You were never this rude to him, and you loved when he ordered from the fish and chips shop from down the way. But yet, he didn’t think of the fact that maybe, just maybe, that she wasn’t you. Then again why would he? He still hadn’t met your family since he’s been busy all day, so of course the thought never crossed his mind.

“Listen, why are you making this so difficult? I’m trying to do something nice for you since I know you’re stressed out, and what do I get? A defensive girlfriend who keeps insisting that we’re not together and god that hurts.” He sat down, defeated. He placed his face in his hands and let out a sigh. 

Tom was so upset that he didn’t even hear you and your aunt walk in through the front door. Upon walking in, you both were silent as you were trying to figure out what was upsetting Tom. So, you two stood in the hallway near the kitchen so you could hear the conversation without being seen. 

“Is this some kind of sick joke? Or do you genuinely not love me anymore?” He whispered, not looking up at her face.

Chloé looked at him, remorse written all over her face. She didn’t say anything, but just sat across from him at the kitchen table.

“Y/N, please answer me.” He pleaded. She looked at him confused, now finally making the connection that he really did think she was Y/N. She figured he was joking before, but upon seeing his reaction now, she knew she had taken it too far. 

You stood by the entrance way shocked, as you wondered why he thought Chloé was you, but then you realised that Tom hadn’t seen the both of you together in the same room. He’d been busy all day, and you’ve been gone for most of the day as well.  And if your own parents couldn’t tell you apart, what made you think your boyfriend could? Once you realised that he mixed the two of you up, you and Manon looked at each other, signaling that you both should walk into the kitchen. He was hunched over the table, head in his hands as a tear rolled down his face. 

“Baby?” You walked over to him, hugging him as he pressed his head to your stomach. His eyes were closed and you could feel the tears staining your shirt. You looked over at Chloé, while she looked at you sympathetically.

“Why are you being so sweet all of the sudden?” He asked and you looked at him bewildered.

“Darling, what are you talking about?” You tried to step back, but he held you closer to him.

“You’ve been mean to me all day, ignoring me,” sniffle “and not appreciating when I did something nice for you.” He sobbed. You didn’t know that Chloé was being rude to him, but it’s something you should’ve expected. 

“Baby, I’ve been busy all day cleaning up the guest room, and I went to the store with my aunt.” You said and he shot his head up.

“What?” He asked as he looked at the both of you, nearly jumping out of his seat when he realised that you both looked identical.

“Chloé, I told you to tell him that I went grocery shopping, why didn’t you do that?” 

She just shrugged her shoulders and said, “Je sais pas, j’ai oublié.” 

“I know you didn’t forget.” You retorted, translating what she said so Tom would understand.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t, but you gotta admit it was pretty hilarious to have him think I was you all this time.” She smirked. 

“You’re terrible.” You laughed, although it was a little bit funny. 

“I know.” 

“Also, why are you wearing his, well, my shirt?” You asked, and Chloé looked down while she tugged at the bottom hem. 

“Oh, I spilled coffee on my shirt and needed something to change into. And I saw this shirt and I liked it, so now I’m wearing it.” She replied matter of factly.

“Now I can see why there’s been some confusion, I always wear that shirt.” 

“Which is why I thought it was you when I saw you wearing it, but now I feel stupid.” Tom replied, face still buried at your stomach. You ran your fingers through his hair and felt him relax against your touch.

“You’re not stupid darling, I can see why you got us both mixed up. Even our own parents could hardly tell us apart.” You said while Chloé agreed with you. 

“It’s true, you don’t know how many times we’ve both almost ended up in the wrong country.” She replied. 

“But now it makes a lot of sense why she kept saying I wasn’t her lover.” Tom muttered while your eyes widened.

“So wait, even after she denied it, you still thought she was me?” You questioned. 

“Yes,” Chloé chimed in, “I told him I wasn’t his lover but he didn’t believe me.” 

“You can’t really blame me though, you failed to mention that you and your cousin are nearly identical. How was I supposed to know?” Tom asked, eyes flickering back and forth to look at you and Chloé. 

“It’s okay darling, now you know.” You pressed a kiss to the top of his head while he held onto your waist. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He laughed and pulled you closer to him, all while Chloé and Manon laughed. 

——

mes petits anges (taglist): @scarletxwidow​ @fangirlwithasweettooth​ @taciturnspidey​ @harrysleftchelseaboot​ @quaksonhehe​ @halfblood-princess-505​

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 9

so not as polished but it wouldn't shut up. enjoy!

first part here previous part here ao3 here

--

            Ladybug focused on talking to Bunnix first. Why? Bunnix would get the information she needed—one way or another. Perks of time traveler family on your side—a few questions and you get a lot of answers quickly.

            “Bunnix, you saw what was happening to Chat’s suit, right?”

            “Yeah, and uh… might want to restrain him or something until your threat level goes down.”

            Ladybug froze at that. “Explain—now.”

            Bunnix rubbed the back of her neck, looking away from the screen and Ladybug’s gaze. “okay, so long story short, Chat isn’t working with all his abilities.”

             Ladybug sighed as she knew where this was going. “Just like how my suit is too similar to Bridgette’s to be mine, not hers.”

             Bunnix nodded. “I’m not sure if it’s a holdover from the old timeline, or just a Black Cat miraculous thing—family was out of the loop for a gen or two before Grand-père—but if his stories are right, then this won’t calm down until after you’re safe from whatever life-and-death thing sent him off AND he believes it…”

             “Bunnix.” She needed more than that. “What’s happening?”

             “Uh, you know how he’s the only one with a color as part of his name?”

             Ladybug nodded.

              “There’s a reason for it. I don’t know how, timeline hopping side effects and all, but I’m pretty sure that he’s controlling condensed destruction for his Cataclysm, and it’s either leaking—which is bad—or he has some shadow ability. The Chat Noir from Grand-père’s timeline was after his Ladybug to free him from a curse his shadows… well Grandpère changed the timeline a lot for a reason. Whatever happened, haunted him.”

              Ladybug took a deep breath. High threat coming from her partner… “Chat Blanc bad?”

              “Honestly? Chat Blanc is a walk in the park by comparison.”

              Ladybug felt sick.

              “Got it. So what set him off—Murder Robin situation escalating?”

              Bunnix sighed. “Probably when the guy showed up.”

              The building rocked.

              “Gotta go, Bug out!”

              Ladybug snapped her compact shut and ran to where she could feel Chat—another perk of being Ladybug. Always knowing where your other half is when transformed—and sighed in relief when she saw he was hit by Miss Sting before he got anyone.

              Murder Robin was not doing good. Probably. She couldn’t read him.

              “Get him back to Paris and leave him at the museum—secret passage.”

              Miss Sting nodded, grabbing Chat Noir and throwing his frozen form over her shoulder as she ran.

              Green Lantern ran to the room only to see a paralyzed Chat Noir carried by Miss Sting.

              “Should I be worried?’

              Ladybug rubbed her temples.

              “Voyage!”

              “Stay in the library, I’ll fix this.”

              “But—”

              “Please.” Ladybug wanted to scream or cry or something because this is more than too much and overwhelmed would be a welcome change from how she felt at the moment. She was far beyond overwhelmed, in over her head, and whatever other way someone could think up to describe her current situation.

             Green Lantern closed the door for her, walking off.

             “Lucky charm.”

            Why was she given knitting needles? (she missed how Damian’s eyes went wide at the sight of them, something clicking.)

             “Miraculous Ladybug!”

             Ladybugs filled the room, undoing whatever Chat’s cataclysm did to it. it was an old training room, one she hadn’t fixed all the way before…

             A series of training dummies, wooden ‘blades’ (swords, knifes, spear staffs) and a few staffs appeared.

             Ladybug didn’t even say spots off before her timer ran out. Tikki blinked curiously at where they were.

            “Marinette…”

            “Not now Tikki, just, please?”

            Marinette took out a macron from her purse and gave it to the tiny goddess. Tikki took it with a sigh. “Do you want me here for this?”

           Marinette glanced at Murder Robin. Who was tied up, and she could feel had words to say but was going to butcher probably.

           “Private conversation this time. He came after me as me, not Ladybug.”

            Tikki nodded, finishing her cookie in one go.

            “You know how to call me if you want,” Tikki said before phasing through the floor. She likes to check on the plants on the lower levels.

            Marinette took a deep breath. “So, I get the whole rival heir thing and how off-ing rivals is a big thing in history, but uh…” and she forgot where she was going with this. Great.

            “Is it safe to say the flowers were not an adequate apology?”

            Marinette blinked. “What.”

            That was what those were for? Really?

            “The flowers, my teachers said the language of flowers was an important consideration when apologizing, and given your residence I assumed you were not familiar with Arabic, and I doubted your intelligence in English given your grades…”

            Marinette rolled her eyes. “You try being the main hero on-call 24-7 and see how well you do learning your non-sense language. Why didn’t you just say it in French?”

            “That is…” she had a feeling this had backstory he wasn’t wiling to share. “A fair judgment.”

            Marinette took a deep breath, trying to incorporate this tid-bit. Murder Robin was apologizing with the flowers. Which… many levels of ‘who raised this kid?’ and ‘I am assuming child custody’ warring in the back of her mind. He did try to kill her once…

            “And given your lack of defensive abilities, I assumed you would require weapons more suited to your frame, stature, activity level given your social media—”

            “Are you social media stalking me too?”

            “And your boutique. But that’s not the point—I wanted to ensure your safety once better understood that certain things taught to me were wrong. That I was wrong, and I needed to apologize for it.”

            Marinette was seriously debating if this kid was from another timeline. She wouldn’t put it past one of the Kubdels to do it either—the whole family could randomly have a ‘cousin’ appear for a bit to fix something later down the road and no one would be able to tell the difference…

            “So why the daggers?”

            “Mother favored them, I assumed it would be a good weapon of choice for you. I misunderstood your preferences… I hope the rapier is making a fine decoration to your liking at least.”

            “Used it in a few akuma attacks at home actually, so good call there, awkward explanation to Maman and Papa as to why I had one and why I was hiding it.”

            Robin’s face soured a bit. “Yes, Agreste’s… gift.”

            Marinette decided that was a sore spot to examine another time.

            “Yeah, big weapons aren’t my thing.”

            “My mistake. I hope the knives and throwing stars have been to your liking at least.”

            Marinette felt awkward about her (very reasonable) reaction as the (still foreign) information began to shift the picture. Insecure kid with a questionable home life that is in desperate need of socialization… “The ball point pen was a good call—had to add a few decorations to it so I stopped mixing it up. The Swiss army knife is really useful on the days I knew there was going to be too much going on to remember where I put my backup tiny tool kits.”

            Robin nodded at that. “And the throwing stars?”

            “Uh, may have turned a one or two into hair accessories, but haven’t really had the time to test them out with everything.”

            Robin nodded, mulling something over. “Okhti Al Kobra?”

            Marinette looked at him when he spoke, trying to get his meaning(s) and not just the surface. If Alya was there, she’d use her gut. But Marinette’s gut is an overacting jerkface that she refuses to trust at the moment…

            She might ask to borrow Wonder Woman’s lasso later.

            Or see if Alya has leveled up as a Fox enough yet to sense what Marinette needs her to. Maybe she could just borrow Trixx?

            “I haven’t told the others who you are.”

            Marinette paused at that. “But it’s the Ghosts of Gotham, you guys kind of know everything.” And are unofficially the ‘check’ to the superhero community if anyone goes rogue. At least for who the bats met. Crap—is there a file on her too? Maybe she’d ask the LoS if they could destroy hers…

            “I assumed the same. Apparently Father didn’t know about you until Aquaman confronted him on the matter.”

            Oh… oh. Oh! She… she outted herself. great. Wonderful.

            Marinette sighed. “That’s… good. I think.”

            “I doubt they’ve realized who you are yet. If my memory serves, Grandfather said only those most trusted by the God-touched could figure out their secret identities.”

            Marinette was grateful for Trixx’s twist to all miraculous magic, she really is.

            “So safe on that front, for now.”

            “Correct.”

            Marinette had a feeling he had more to say on the matter, and let him find what he had to say.

            “I know your identity, and that compromises you… You may compromise my own. I am Damian Al-Ghul Wayne.”

            Marinette’s brain shorted for a moment and needed time to reboot. And proof… and time to understand what just happened (and get the urge to kidnap this child out of her system. That was. No. Bad. She thinks. Maybe… he’s tiny and doesn’t even have magic protecting him! probably.)

            “Do you mind if I…”

            Robin—Damian. Damian lifted his head and nodded quickly.

            Marinette took off the mask and memorized his face. Shape is congruent with what she remembers of the latest Wayne Heir in a picture when Adrien and Kagami got at the Wayne Galas last year. It was the first time either family was invited.

            She had a feeling Ro—Damian. Damian was behind that… He could have been gathering information, but why? to learn about her, or Kagami who she knows he’s fenced against.

            Kagami who might have put things together and she needs to damage control there next. Great. (What is she the guardian of again? Lately its felt like miraculous wielders and not the kwami.)

            Marinette could sense Rena getting close.

            She put Robin’s mask back on and transformed wordlessly. Tikki must have returned at some point.

            “Can I come in?”

            Ladybug and Robin were in place then. both behind more comfortable masks.

            Ladybug went to the door and slipped into Gaurdian. The chances anyone besides her team knew it were slim… and she’d rather not ask Wonder Woman for her lasso… just in case.

            “Can you do me a favor?”

            “Yeah girl, what do you need?”

            “Just… let me know how you feel about his next answer.”

            At Rena’s nod, Ladybug turned to Robin as she let Rena in.

            “Have you answered my questions truthfully?”

            “Yes.”

            “Did you withhold information you believe to be important?”

            “Not consciously.”

            Ladybug looked at Rena.

            “I…” Rena kept scanning him, looking for something. “Why the…” she trailed off as her eyes went wide. “oh. Oh That happened.”

            Ladybug raised an eyebrow. “Uh, those were very loud whoosh with a bell. I think that means truth, just, wow.”

            And Rena’s ability to sense lies has a new manifestation, good. Downside—Alya will probably have it too and she may have been trying to delay this…Trixx will be happy at least, and no need for lasso of truth.

            “Well, I’ll be back in a bit. Rena, feel free to go home for a bit and rest up.”

            --

            Marinette almost screamed when she got home. She’d only be in her room for fifteen minutes tops—but still.

            Maman and Papa told her they’d be at a catering gig tonight, so she didn’t have to worry about them checking up on her once they left.

            No, she had to worry about the pics she was checking from her feed a year ago… which included Damian’s face for the Wayne Gala.

            She could have been a Wayne.

            She’s not, and she’s not mad just… wow. (Gotham/bullet dodged?)

            Which meant Bruce Wayne is likely Batman, and by order of appearance… Nightwing must be Dick Grayson-Wayne, Red Hood (who makes zombie jokes, like, a lot according to Gotham’s #Batwatch #OnlyinGotham twitter accounts) is probably Jason Todd, who died. Timelines match and she has questions. Many. But then there are more horrible realizations to make. Like Red Robin is probably Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne (does he have a not-first name anywhere in his name?) who she consulted as Marinette and designed a suit for two days ago. And his blonde friend (who was in her bakery. She debated her. just. Fuck.) was probably Spoiler who is the current Batgirl, and if she bothered to check his friends’ list, she’d probably find the girl’s real name. Cass was obviously black bat (only one who doesn’t mouth off in every fight, gave very short responses during their debate but agreed with Marinette so is probably smarter than the rest). Oracle is a mystery (thankfully. She’s certain she’d lose her tech forever if she found out who the woman was and it wasn’t on said woman’s terms).

            Just… a lot to take in.

            Once her parents were gone and Marinette had her brain (mostly) back, she texted Adrien that “latest situation was handled, talk tomorrow.” In response to him trying to make her phone explode with the sheer volume of texts he sent her.

            Not even five minutes later Chat made his way into her room, shadows still rolling. “What happened?”

            “I… long story short? I’m pretty sure he’s been brainwashed or something and Fox’s seal of approval on him telling the truth—he was leaving flowers and weapons as apologies and ‘here, to protect yourself’ things which is kind of sweet in a really, really messed up way that I do not have the capacity to process. He won’t be a problem—I have his secret identity and he has mine—apparently the other Bats haven’t figured it out, and didn’t know about me until I blew up.”

            Chat’s shadows settled on his suit. Returning to the familiar leather pattern. “Really?”

            Marinette nodded. “Really. Its to the point I have to remind myself not to adopt him—he needs help, and I doubt letting tiny child fight is a good thing.”

            “Anything on Bat-threat?”

            A smile twitched on Marinette’s face. “We both know you already checked.”

            Chat grinned at that. “Yeah. Wonder Woman took out four bodies and threw them into those tube thing-ies.”

            Marinette shook her head. “Oh, and you have a new thing that I have to watch for.”

            “Oh, I do?” Chat looked around, examining himself.

            Marinette shook her head at him fondly. “Shadow suit.” Once she had Chat’s attention, she continued. “You were a little…”

            “I’m going to guess not me?”

            “Miss Sting said paranoid in her messages, extra aggressive and then you almost killed brainwashed murder bird.”

            “Are we changing the nickname now?”

            “… honestly I’m debating just calling him a crow at this point. Maybe fix his suit to match so there’s less awful traffic light.”

            “It would be a great public service,” Chat added as he wrinkled his nose. “who makes a child a traffic light.”

            “Apparently the donor.”

            “Donor needs fashion advice.”

            “Can’t, he’d try to ruin mine with a god-awful color scheme, and I refuse.”

            Chat snorted at that. “So, these guys… where do we stand?”

            Marinette hummed. “Sent the ‘not trusting them at all’ back already… I say we keep Robin for now and figure out what the hell made him think murder is okay and if its still encouraged then…”

            “Then we do a ‘this is my many times removed relative who lives here now?’”

            “No. I tell Gina, she gets the documents ready, and then I introduce him as my bio mom’s cousin’s kid and tell them he’s staying in paris and wants to connect.”

            “You do realize his mother probably has a stance on this.”

            “Shhh, cousins.”

            “Shhh, someone is bound to notice.” Chat countered, shaking his head.

            Okay, would gotham notice a Wayne missing? Probably. Would they really try to look for him is the question… and how easy would it be to fool them if they did find him? Maybe have Trixx help with Markov?

            “I doubt he uses social media, so low chance there. He thought everyone knew the language of flowers… I think either he was taken from a cult, the bats are a cult, or both.”

            “I’m leaning to both, why else would he be that level of offensive to fashion?”

            Marinette snorted at that. She has met many fashion disasters that never needed a cult as an excuse.

            --

            Batman was… nervous.

            Wonder Woman was giving him and his kids (minus Damian. Who has not made contact with them yet…) a series of looks that he knew meant trouble.

            “In our defense,” Dick began.

            “There is a baby bat in danger, what were you expecting?” Stephanie continued.

            “And you were the one that thought we should be ready for any contingency,” Tim added while clinging to some unholy combination of energy drinks.

            “Little sister. Needs help.” Cass tacked on. “We help.”

            When eyes turned to Jason, he only gave one explanation: “Kid facing city-wide drownings regularly, brainwashed buddies daily, and superpowers, and extra overt terrorist targeting the kid. What were you expecting?”

            Tim snorted at that. “Me thinks he forgets he taught us how to bend and break rules.”

            Stephanie nodded from her location. “We weren’t told it was no bats, just no Batman.”

            Diana glared at Bruce.

            “By the time I checked their trackers, they were turned off and no longer responding to their communicators.” he had a feeling Agent A or Oracle may have helped them… but no proof.

            Jason rolled his eyes. as they did have a ‘Bat-free’ set of comms—a set of phones they changed just enough that Bruce couldn’t keep track of them and relented to a ‘civilian only’ cells that he would not track, tap, or try to under threat of Babs.

            “We are very independent,” Tim added as he drank his questionable concoction. Bruce didn’t even ask where he got it from at this point.

            Wonder Woman narrowed her eyes. “I am making this clear now—you are not to approach, contact, or even look into Ladybug, her identity or her city’s issues without her explicit permission. Am I clear?”

            There was grumbling from his kids.

            “Crystal,” Batman answered. Once Diana seemed satisfied for the moment, he decided to ask. “Have you heard anything about Robin?”

            Diana paused. “Not yet. When Ladybug has what she needs, she will likely send him back, or ask to keep him in a location she deems secure until this matter has blown over.”

            Bruce didn’t like that. At all.

            His kids didn’t either, each readying for a fight.

            Diana could tell what they were thinking. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Given Ladybug’s age, and that now two of you,” she cast a glare at Jason, “Have threatened her and her team in the mask, I doubt she will be very trusting. Nearly being killed by fellow heroes is not something one gets over very quickly.”

            Tim rolled his eyes. “She’s a bat, give her like, two, three weeks tops. You get over it.”

            Diana shot Bruce, not Batman, but Bruce a look.

            “I was lost in the time stream when that happened.”

            Diana rolled her eyes.

            “To be fair,” Dick added, “Damian has tried to kill most of us at first, me included, but you get used to him.” At Diana’s eyes getting wider, he backtracked. “He’s gotten a lot better since we worked on the Robin code and he’s working on his own. Top of his list was apologizing to those he wronged just… didn’t do it the best way.”

            Tim snorted. “Speak for yourself.” He got a lot of photography equipment and Redbird back… plus a few other things as Damian’s form of apology. The only one he wasn’t that big on was the ‘I will invade your hideout to ensure you are resting properly’ no matter how many times he said he was on black out. It didn’t help that Dick encouraged it and Jason had already been doing that. The only ones who gave him breathing room was Stephanie and Cass, which is why they are his favorites.

            Dick sighed. “He used flowers and weapons on the girl for two years.”

            Diana twitched at that. Ladybug had been twitchy because she thought she was being watched. That… didn’t bode well.

            Bruce made a pained sound. “Please tell me he left a note.”

            “He didn’t.”

            The bats did what they have a habit of doing during these situations. Look at each other, sigh, and maybe drop their head into their hands in shame. Mentally of course. Externally they can’t—gotta keep up appearances and all.

            Jason broke the silence. “So, who’s turn is it to fix it, because not it.”

            “You were disqualified before this started.”

            “Not it!” Stephanie said quicklying.

            “Not it,” Cass agreed.

            “I got it the last time, not it.” Tim added.

            “Batman you were already disqualified,” Diana stated before Dick could avoid being it.

            “Why is it always me?” Dick wanted someone to explain why he’s in charge of every other Bat’s problems. He loves them, he loves helping them, and Damian is his Robin (Bruce can fight him on that, he knows that was Bruce is for himself, he is to Damian).  But it would be great if someone else did this too. “Can’t Babs help?”

            “Who’s taking care of Gotham again?” A voice said over the intercom. “My birds.”

            Dick sighed. “I get it. But I can’t do much from this end.”

            Diana whistled to get the bats to stop. “He will handle this himself.”

            The group shot each other looks. In theory he could, in practice… they wanted their contingencies, okay?

            --

            Marinette transformed and went into the portal, this time with Chat at her side. she noticed the shadows started to move once they got in the temple… she’d need more information on that another time.

            “Behave.”

            Chat rolled his eyes. “Don’t I always?”

            Marinette narrowed her eyes.

            Chat looked away and went into the room from before. Green Lantern had taken to checking up on Robin while they were gone.

            “Should I be worried?” Green Lantern asked.

            Ladybug raised an eyebrow at Chat. “Probably not.”

            She could feel Green Lantern look at her.

            “This isn’t going to stop until he thinks the threat is gone…”

            “Ah.”

            Ladybug glanced between Chat and Mur—Damian. Damian. Damian who had the worst murder apology tactic in history. (Seriously, flowers and weapons. What the hell?)

            Chat walked up to him. “Not going to apologize for protecting my Lady.”

            Robin didn’t seem insulted. “I would have to remove you as her partner if you did.”

            Ladybug almost choked. Shadows were moving more.

            Green Lantern sighed.

            Chat glared. “Well you can’t.”

            “I will not as you have proved to at least have a functional brain. Your skills leave much to be desired, but you are at least capable of adequately protecting my sister.”

            The shadows were settled at least… for now.

            “Why you little!”

            “Robin!”

            “Chat!”

            “What—he started this!”

            Ladybug sighed. She had a feeling these two weren’t going to get along anytime soon.

            “Is that enough for you to get he doesn’t want me dead or anything?” Ladybug asked Chat, keeping an eye on the shadows.

            “For now.”

            “Chat.”

            “Well we don’t have any leverage.”

            “She knows who I am.”

            “What.”

            “I checked.” Ladybug admitted. “He is who he said and I’m sticking with ignoring the implications for another time.” Robin was smiling a bit. and not the murder-y one that haunted her nightmares sometimes. Good. What was she saying? “Oh, and I may have figured out Hawkmoth, but uh, consequences to that reveal would hurt a lot of people if we go in how we wanted to initially. So, I need to work out that plot since telling you may set off the shadows.”

            Chat crossed his arms. “And who is it?”

            Ladybug wanted to rub her temples. But Professional Time. “We both know you and Bunnix have your own things you don’t tell me about things that would be good to know but not good for me specifically. And that’s fine, it keeps Paris safe and our team from having internal issues. So trust me on this kitty. I’ll tell you before it happens. But it will be a lot closer to it happening than you’d like. Just like our usual.”

            Chat… wasn’t happy about that.

            “…fine.”

            Robin watched the exchange. He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing to offer at the moment, but…

            “Would it be acceptable if my family offered to help?”

            Green Lantern gave him a look.

            “You have seen our credentials.”

            Ladybug wanted to scream again. just a bit.

            “I have a way, probably, and am not in the mood for American take-overs.”

            Robin thought for a moment. “I could ask mother. She won’t tell father if I ask.”

            “And we trust that why?” Chat asked, shadows not dancing off his suit... but not still either. Interesting… she’d really have to look into this with the scrolls when she gets a chance.

            “Mother and Father have… fundamental disagreements.”

            Chat and her looked at each other, then Damian. They had a feeling he wasn’t telling the whole truth.

            “And how do we,” Chat gestured at himself and Ladybug, “know we can trust her. I barely trust you.”

            Robin was quiet.

            Ladybug was tired. “Look, I can see if maybe the League is a good fit for this.”

            Green Lantern looked up at that. “Batman would find a way to access it.”

            Ladybug took a deep breath. “Not that one, uh, League of Shadows. Old branch that went rogue, but leader is an immortal and was supposedly a top choice for Black Cat for a while.” Until his partner got caught in a trap on a mission and sort of ended up becoming some death cheat. Ladybugs and Black cats are always trained in pairs. One is unfit, the other can’t continue with training. Not that the Green Lanterns needed to know that…

            Robin was staring at her, and seemed… no felt nervous. Not showing it though. “Then you’d be meeting mother or Grandfather then... They go by the League of Assassins now.”

            What even is her luck at this point? (Probably his first cult, and ancient overzealous ally of the Order… she was beginning to think it’s a good thing its going to be rebuilt from the ground up as yikes.)

            “Is it acceptable if I accompany you? They’re not,” Robin was struggling to find the right word. “good with heroes or non-adults.”

            Ladybug sighed. Chat narrowed his eyes, but his shadows were staying put.

            “You can stay until after the meeting and plan is hashed out, but no passing it on to Batman, okay?”

            “Understood.”

            Why did it feel like she had a million things to do still? This would be much easier if she had her team, well, whole, instead of missing two miraculous. One of which she still had to fix… she hopes Sparrow is okay with helping on that still…

            And she has a damn test tomorrow… Maybe Mandeliev will give her extra time since she was made news as Marinette being stalked by Robin?

            ---

DONE! This was a long update, and Damian and Marinette are awkwardly trying but uh, understandably, Marinette still has a lot going on and no time to process since her life is a mess with or without the Bats invading. Lets not forget, she still has tests at school because life on top of the crazy that’s been tacked on recently.

Oh. And apparently Talia wants to be involved, so that’s a Thing. Rah may or may not want to show up, I kind of just roll with it. feel free to add to insanity as always, since the group decided to tie up somethings... but not everything.

Marinette may know, but batfam doesn't. only damian does. who is still not back.

Also, thanks to those noticing plot hole fixes and tags are basically open until its a wall of tags.

again, if anyone find out how to insert/add a readmore, feel free to message or leave a comment.

TAGS:  @heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace@jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04 @bisha43rbs @izang @dreamykitty25 @emu-lumberjack

[ciienfuegos]

tagged by: borrowed from my other blog tagging: just do it if you want to.

BASICS: Name: Gin Age: 20 Pronouns: she/her they/them whatever Sexuality: homosexual Zodiac sign: pisces Taken or single: single af.

Four Things About This Blog:

1.     all the spanish on this blog is either improvised, a left-over of my spanish classes or basically just from a dictionary. 2.     fernando is my first male muse and you all have been fooled by my talent to distract you with nice words (  and my bad spanish  ) 3.     while i usually take up to six months to decide whether i want to write a muse or not, it only took a day for me to decide that i wanted to write fernando 4.     fernando will adopt all the muses. he just loves big families so give him one.

Three Mun Facts:

1.     i speak 4 languages (  german, english, spanish, french  ), can read 2 more (  italian, portuguese  ) and if that counts i also know a few words and phrases in elvish and klingon! 2.     i’ve met my fav actress 6 times by now and the fifth time she actually recognized me 3.     i almost got hit by a train when i was younger bc me and my cousin were playing at the tracks when suddenly a train was coming closer.   we hid beneath the tracks and waited until the train was gone. 

EXPERIENCE: How’d you start: i was super hyped about the hobbit and wanted to make a blog so i created and oc. i’m still writing her after all this time Platforms you’ve used: Tumblr, a german page, d’cord Best experience: i met my best friend on here who’s also german and lives only an hour away from me. also, meeting my sister who is the most precious thing ever.  and basically all the friends i made on here Worst experience: i once had contact with an abusive person (which i didn’t know at that point) and i later found out she blackmailed a friend, ruined her life and they actually did it to a couple of other ppl i knew.  also, the drama on one of my muses...

MUSE PREFERENCES: Original or canon: i prefer canon tho i am picky with those. i do have a few ocs of my own as well Favourite face: lbr i couldn’t choose just one   ...   or five.  too many Least favorite face: i honestly don’t have one? Multi or single: single, tho i do have a multi

WRITING PREFERENCES: Plots or memes: both! tho memes work as an ice breaker Best time to write: anytime tbh. mostly night since most of my partners are active when it’s night time for me Do you like your muse(s): obviously not. i adore them How long (months/years?):  i’ve been rping for 8 years now i think?  at least 4 of them being on tumblr. Fluff, angst or smut: all BUT for smut, i need to have a good connection with the mun 

[beatrice-otter]

#english did not have a word for COUSIN until borrowing it from french #english did not have a word for AUNT #there was a word for a father's brother#for nuclear family#and that was IT

Medieval peasants did not behave in a manner modern social scientists think of as optimal for their circumstances.

--Barbara A. Hanawalt, The Ties That Bound: Peasant Families in Medieval England.

(Dr. Hanawalt explains that there is no real evidence that English peasants were living in or even particularly acknowledging the existence of extended kinship groups in the 14th-15th century, no matter how much anthropologists think they should have been.)