#energy left to thrive in our own personal lives

[devilsskettle]

just saw someone call horrorstör by grady hendrix “cozy horror” i’m sorry but in what world. you have to be so removed from the reality of what working retail is like to be like hehe cozy horror because it takes place in haunted ikea :) also like. was it so super cozy when that girl gets possessed and starts choking on her own snot lol like some of the shit he describes in this book is so vile so please explain to me what part of the book is cozy

[dark-corner-cunning]

Honoring the Spirits of Home: Creating Sacred Spaces for the Unseen

Welcome back, Seekers! Within my local coven, we are journeying through the mysteries of Spirit until Winter Solstice. Today, I introduced the art of crafting Spirit Houses, and I thought it would be fitting to share a bit of that here. I like to keep these crafty posts simple and open-ended, leaving space for the practitioner to add their own touch. The best magick often arises from just diving in and letting your intuition guide the way. May this inspire you to connect, create, and explore! 🌙✨

As witches, we work with spirits every day, whether we realize it or not. Our homes, like ourselves, are steeped in the spirit world, alive with layers of unseen inhabitants that have their own roles, wisdom, and stories to tell. For many of us, it’s a quiet understanding that a witch’s home should be haunted—not in the fearful sense, but filled with life that pulses in harmony with our craft. From ancestral guides and house spirits, to the land’s ancient beings, these entities weave themselves into the very fabric of our spaces, enriching them with energy and presence.

Regardless of whether a home is newly built or weathered by decades, each dwelling becomes imbued with spirit. There’s an existing ecosystem of energies that connect to the land itself, the history of the area, and the layers of life that once lived or passed through. These spirits, sometimes subtle, sometimes profound, thrive within the space we call home, coexisting with us and enhancing our magick. But it is up to us to nurture a balanced and harmonious relationship with them.

Why Connect with the Spirits of Your Home?

Developing a deep, reciprocal relationship with the spirits of your home doesn’t just benefit your craft; it offers blessings for everyone under your roof. When these spirits feel acknowledged and respected, they offer protection, lend strength to your magickal workings, and create an atmosphere of peace and nourishment. A home can truly feel like a sanctuary when the spirits that dwell within it are in harmony with those who reside there in the flesh. This connection turns your space into an anchor—a place of personal power, healing, and resilience.

Building Friendships with Spirit

Nurturing relationships with spirits requires time, care, and a commitment to reciprocity. Just as with human friendships, there is a cycle of giving and receiving. Spirits respond to sincere attention and intention, as well as the gifts and gestures we offer them. One meaningful way to foster this connection is by creating a spirit house or a dedicated space where spirits can feel welcomed and honored.

A spirit house is both a physical symbol and a spiritual anchor. It becomes a place where offerings can be left, and it serves as a gateway for interaction with the spirit world in a respectful and clear manner. It’s a way of saying, “You are welcome here, I honor your presence, and I seek your guidance and protection.”

Creating Your Spirit House

Designing a spirit house is a creative, personal process. It need not be elaborate; sometimes, the simplest gestures carry the deepest respect. You may choose a small altar, a shelf, or even a discreet box placed in a peaceful corner of your home. Consider using natural materials—wood, clay, or stone—as they tend to resonate well with spirits of place. Personalize it with items like stones from your land, soil, dried herbs, or even water from a local stream. Each addition builds a bridge between your energy and the spirits you invite into your home.

When crafting your spirit house, remember that offerings and gifts can strengthen this relationship over time. Spirits, like friends, appreciate time, energy, love, and tokens of appreciation. Remember, spirits are aware of intention as much as they are of the physical offering, so approach this creative expression with reverence and sincerity.

For my spirit house, I’ve chosen to weave in unsea, or “old man’s beard,” gathered lovingly from my mother tree, a sacred link to the ancient and wise energies of the land. I've placed birds within the space, their forms standing as messengers and symbols of spirit, guiding and connecting with the unseen. Mushrooms, too, find their place here, embodying my bond with the natural world—grounded yet reaching into hidden realms. They carry the magick of spiritual growth, reminding me of the mystery and connection to realms beyond. Each piece breathes life into the space, deepening my relationship with the spirits I honor… and I placed a bell at the entrance, placed with the hope of hearing it softly chime as the spirits pass through.

[agentstarkid]

ENCHANTED TO MEET YOU ✦ DR3

✦ DEBRIEF: Amid the vibrant energy of a New Year's Eve party, chance encounters led to unexpected connections where captivating eyes, a charming accent, and a carefree personality were all she needed to be forever enchanted by his presence.

✦ PAIRINGS: daniel ricciardo x famous!latina!reader

✦ CHECKERED FLAG: 7.3K words

✦ TRACK LIMITS: female!reader, latina!reader, fluff, really sappy thoughts, there's a nine-year age gap.

✦ MAY'S RADIO: holis babes! i'm back with another attempt at writing! the last chapters were angsty and i needed a lil bit of equilibrium so please enjoy reading how the night they met went. Y'all can thank Tally for it <3 + FYI, the next chapter is nowhere being finished yet—this is a little treat for y'all because of that— this past month has been crazy at my job and the chia seeds' harvest season starts in June so I'm not sure how much time—or energy—I'll have. I'd probably be a bit absent but I'll try my best to keep this show going. Also, can you guys find all the references? 👀 PLEASEEEE let me know what you think of this. 'kay, byeee.

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December 31st, 2019 | 6:27 p.m.

As the world buzzed with excitement in anticipation of the approaching New Year, with its promises of new beginnings and fresh starts, I found myself yearning for something different. While others eagerly made plans for extravagant celebrations and wild parties, my heart longed for the simple comforts of home. The allure of crowded festivities and glittering fireworks paled in comparison to the warmth of my own cozy sanctuary, where I could embrace solitude. In a world that seems to thrive on noise and commotion, all I desired was the quiet embrace of familiarity and peace.

Despite my steadfast resolve to stay home, I found myself facing relentless persuasion from a certain Dutch DJ, my long-time friend Martin Garrix. His invitations to join him at a New Year's Eve party in New York, where he was scheduled to perform, grew more insistent with each passing week. Not content to pursue this endeavor alone —and knowing he wouldn’t be able to win this battle by himself—, Martin enlisted the help of my closest confidantes—Fio, my ever-reliable personal assistant; Vittoria, the vivacious soul who never shies away from adventure; and Danna, the wise and grounding presence in our lives.

You'd think that at 21, with a career that keeps reaching new heights everyday, I'd be excited to join those types of celebrations.

Nuh-uh.

Years ago, the prospect of attending a high-profile party filled with celebrities and socialites would have thrilled me beyond measure. Back then, I reveled in the glamour and excitement, relishing the chance to mingle with the elite and bask in the spotlight.

Furthermore, the aftermath of my final breakup with Harry —after two years together and the last year of it being on-and-off— had left me feeling disillusioned and wary of the intentions of those around me. Once the darling of the celebrity circuit, I now found myself excluded from the inner circles I once frequented, my invitations to exclusive events dried up almost overnight. It's a harsh reality I had to come to terms with, one that has left me questioning the true nature of the friendships I once held so dear.

With Martin's persistent pleas ringing in my ears, I gathered my resolve and attempted to explain my desire for a quiet evening in. “Guys, I really appreciate the effort, but I just want to stay home tonight,” I insisted, sinking deeper into the cushions of the couch. “I've been looking forward to a High School Musical marathon all week.”

Fio, my fiery assistant, raised an incredulous eyebrow. “High School Musical? Are you serious, chica? This is New Year's Eve! Yo lo que quiero es que salgas a janguear patabajo y pasarla de show. You can watch Zac Efron dance any other night!” Hailing from the sun-kissed shores of Puerto Rico, she wore her heritage proudly, her voice ringed out with the rhythmic cadence of her native land.

Vittoria, the true embodiment of Brazilian beauty and spirit with her sun-kissed complexion and luminous smile, chimed in with a playful grin. “Yeah, fofinha, come on! You can even ask Martin to play ‘The Start of Something Newʼ if it pleases you,” she grabbed my left hand between both of hers and tugged at it, “We can dance and sing along to Zac Efron together at the party!” she exclaimed, shaking my arm excitedly. 

Well... I could definitely ask Martin to play it, he'd probably say yes in a heartbeat if it meant I would cave in and go to this party. After all, he's been awfully insistent on my attendance. 

Danna, the 23-year-old American with an effortless grace and quiet confidence, offered a gentle smile. “I understand wanting a cozy night in, but trust me, you'll regret missing out on this party. It'll be a night to remember.” she punned with a wink and smiled when Vitto offered her an enthusiastically high five. Vitto sometimes reminded me of a puppy with an impressive amount of energy and excitement, always prompting me to try and keep up with her and leave my comfort zone.

Despite their protests, I remained steadfast in my decision. There was no way I was moving from this couch. “Thanks, guys, but I'm sticking to my plan. You all go ahead and have fun without me.” However, I was but a simple human surrounded by three forces of nature and it was super clear that my friends had other ideas and soon they were bustling around me, pulling me off the couch and insisting I get ready for the night ahead.

Reluctantly, I allowed the girls to coax me off the couch and into action. With Fio's enthusiastic energy, Vittoria's impeccable sense of style, and Danna's calming presence, they transformed my quiet night in into a whirlwind of preparation for the party.

Fio rummaged through my closet, pulling out a stunning short dress made with net-woven high-end silver jewelry that would—quoting her—help highlight and show mi sazón latino among the precious stones, while Vittoria offered her expert opinion on the perfect outfit. “Uff mami, that definitely screams ‘New Year's Eve glam’!” she declared, holding up the sparkling ensemble that catched the light just right. 

Meanwhile, Danna took charge of my hair and makeup, opting for a soft, glamorous look. “You're going to turn heads tonight, babes,” she assured me, brushing a hint of shimmer onto my cheeks. 

Despite my initial resistance, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of excitement as I watched my reflection transform before my eyes.

“Who knows, babes,” Danna paused, carefully applying a nude shade gloss to my lips. “Maybe you’ll find your own Troy Bolton tonight, and have your own The Start of Something New moment” she wiggled her eyebrows playfully.

“You are on a roll tonight with the puns and references, aren’t you Dannita?” Fio peeked out her head from inside my closet and asked jokingly, letting out a laugh while she ducked from a damp sponge lightheartedly tossed her way by Danna.

“Nossa, cara! Você parece uma deusa!” Vitto exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine admiration. (Wow, dude! You look like a goddess!)

A blush crept up my cheeks at her compliment, and I turned to Danna with a grateful smile. “Seriously, Danni, you've outdone yourself,” I praised her, marveling at her skill in transforming me for the evening. “Thank you for making me feel like royalty.”

With a modest smile, Danna accepted my gratitude, her eyes shining with pride at the success of her handiwork. And then, just as the last finishing touches were being applied, she posed the inevitable question: “So, what are your New Year's resolutions?”

With a playful grin, I shrugged, the weight of the question settling over me like a familiar cloak. “I think this year,” I replied, my voice tinged with determination, “I just want to have fun and focus on myself. No boys, no drama, just me.” It was a simple resolution, yet one that carried a weight of significance, a commitment to prioritize my own happiness and well-being above all else.

As I sat there, unaware of their subtle exchange, the girls exchanged knowing glances and smiles, a silent understanding passing between them. Little did I know, they had orchestrated this moment with a shared knowledge of Martin's plans for the evening.

After I was allowed to rose from my seat, I grabbed and put on the large hoops and a set of very discreet rings that Vitto opted for, she explained to me that the expensive design I was wearing ‘perfectly adorned my tanned skin in such a way that I did not need almost any other accessory to elevate the look to its maximum potential’. 

As I waited for the girls to finish getting ready, I idly scrolled through my WhatsApp contacts' status updates, seeking a distraction from the anticipation bubbling inside me. My mom uploaded a video showing all the food they had cooked for dinner. A homesick feeling hit me even if I just came back from spending two weeks at home. Next, Martin’s status showed up on my screen, he posted a photo showcasing his DJ set getting set up for the party. I tapped on his name and took a quick selfie flipping him off playfully and sent it, he didn’t take long to respond with “Does this mean I won?” followed by two pairs of eyes emoji. “Yes” I answered, also followed with the rolling eyes emoji. 

I scrolled through a couple others, when I stumbled upon Selena’s. She posted a selfie all dolled up with her friends and pinned New York City as her location which piqued my curiosity. I composed a brief message, my fingers dancing over the keys as I typed out a casual inquiry about her plans for New Year's Eve in NYC. A response appeared on my screen moments later, “Hey girl! We’re actually heading to a party at The Bowery Hotel. What about you?” a smile tugged at the corners of my lips as excitement coursed through my body, I haven’t seen Sel in a while! We’ve been friends for years and she was one of the few people that was always there to lend me an ear and words of advice whenever I went through a rough patch in my life. “No way! That's where we’re going too! Maybe we'll bump into each other!”

“That’s awesome!!!!! I'll keep an eye out for you. See you there!” she replied. I let out a little happy sigh and shook my head. With my friends by my side, laughter filling the room, I began to anticipate the night ahead with a newfound sense of anticipation. Maybe, just maybe, this New Year's Eve won't be so bad after all.

Unbeknownst to the singer, Martin's persistent efforts to persuade her to attend the party were driven by a secret agenda. For months, he has harbored a hidden desire to introduce her to a friend of his, in the hopes of sparking a connection between them. Despite Martin's best intentions, his attempts to orchestrate their meeting have thus far been thwarted by her obliviousness to his matchmaking schemes.

After receiving the confirmation that the first part of his plan had been successful, Martin discreetly sent a text message to his friend, informing him of her attendance. “She's finally agreed to come,” he typed, a hint of excitement evident in his words. “Be ready to charm her off her feet.”

On a different hotel floor, a 5'10'' curly-haired Aussie’s mind raced with possibilities, wondering who this mystery woman could be.

With a shrug, he tapped out a quick reply, his fingers flying over the keys as he crafted a response. “Sounds intriguing,” he typed, his tone laced with a hint of amusement. “Looking forward to meeting her. Just hope I can keep up with your high expectations mate!” As he hit send, Daniel couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation that lingered in the air.

Daniel's phone buzzed again with a response from Martin, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the playful banter that ensued. “Oh, don't worry,” Martin's message read, “I have complete faith in you. Just be yourself, that’s all you need”

Daniel grinned at his friend's confidence. Despite not knowing much about this mysterious woman, he couldn't deny the thrill of anticipation that coursed through his veins. With a sense of determination, he resolved to make the most of this opportunity, determined to leave a lasting impression on whoever this enigmatic figure turned out to be.

Little did he know, this chance encounter would set the stage for a fateful meeting that would change the course of his life in ways he never could have imagined.

As the sleek black car pulled up to the curb outside The Bowery Hotel, the pulsating energy of New York City's nightlife enveloped us like a warm embrace. Stepping out onto the bustling sidewalk, we were greeted by the soft glow of string lights and the distant hum of music drifting from the rooftop above.

Linking arms, we made our way through the elegant lobby of the hotel, the click of our heels echoing against the polished marble floors. Excitement crackled in the air as we rode the elevator to the top floor, anticipation mounting with each passing moment.

As the doors slid open to reveal the rooftop terrace bathed in the soft glow of fairy lights, we were met with a breathtaking view of the city skyline glittering against the night sky. The sound of laughter and conversation filled the air, mingling with the infectious beat of the music that pulsed through the crowd.

We stepped out onto the terrace and navigated through the crowd, the scent of champagne and laughter filled the air; our eyes alight with wonder as we took in the scene before us. The air was alive with the hum of excitement for the new year ahead.

Finding a secluded corner of the rooftop, I paused and craned my neck in search of the blond responsible for me being away from my cozy apartment that night. I spotted him talking with some people near where his set was set up. When our eyes met, he waved enthusiastically, his excitement palpable even from a distance.

Exchanging quick pleasantries, Martin excused himself from the group he was chatting with, his strides purposeful as he made his way towards our little circle. With a grin that could light up the entire city, Martin reached our group, his charismatic presence immediately drawing us in. “Ladies, you look stunning tonight,” he greeted us with a cheeky smile on his face, “and well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with her presence,” he teased, his voice laced with playful banter as he directed his attention towards me.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes in mock exasperation, a smirk playing at the corners of my lips. “I had four people ganging up on me, Martin, I couldn't exactly resist for long” I replied, my tone teasing as I shot him a playful glare.

Martin chuckled, his laughter infectious as he leaned in to give me a playful nudge. “That's what I like to hear! Now, let's show you what you almost missed by being a grumpy old lady tonight,” he exclaimed, his enthusiasm contagious as he gestured towards the bustling rooftop party surrounding us.

Half an hour later, Daniel made his way through the vibrant crowd, his eyes scanning the faces around him, he caught sight of Martin amidst the sea of revelers. With a nod of recognition, he approached his friend, a curious glint in his eyes. 

Martin turned towards him with a grin, anticipation dancing in his eyes. “Hey! What’s up, mate?” he gave him a quick hug. “She's already here," Martin exclaimed, his voice tinged with excitement.

Daniel's interest was piqued, and he glanced around the crowded rooftop, searching for any indication of who Martin was referring to. “Oh, really?” Daniel replied, his curiosity evident in his tone.

Martin nodded eagerly, but instead of gesturing towards our group, he simply smiled mysteriously. “Yep, but I'll introduce you later. Duty calls,” he said with a shrug, gesturing towards the stage where he was needed.

Daniel's brow furrowed slightly in confusion, but he simply nodded in understanding as Martin hurried off to fulfill his obligations. 

Martin's cryptic reply intrigued Daniel, sparking his curiosity further. He decided not to dwell on it for too long. With a shrug, he turned his attention back to the lively atmosphere of the party, eager to enjoy the night ahead. As he mingled with his friends, his thoughts occasionally drifted back to Martin's enigmatic words, wondering who exactly the DJ was referring to and what significance they held. But for now, he was content to simply soak in the excitement of the moment and let the night unfold as it may.

As Daniel's gaze lazily scanned the room, it landed on a group of vibrant individuals, among whom stood a figure that instantly commanded his attention. His eyes locked onto hers, and he felt a jolt of electricity course through him as their gazes met. In that fleeting moment, the noise of the party faded into the background, and all he could focus on was the captivating presence of the woman before him. Despite the nagging reminder of his supposed obligation to meet someone else, he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from her, his curiosity piqued and his interest unmistakably piqued.

Throughout the night, I found myself engaged in conversation with Selena and both of our friend groups, along with a few others who had approached us. However, the initial excitement I had felt was beginning to wane as my social battery ran low. I forced laughter and plastered on fake smiles as the people around us tried to create conversation, drawn to us for our status and connections rather than genuine friendship. My walls were up and I couldn’t help but be filled with nostalgia for the days when I effortlessly navigated the social whirlwind. God knows how I was able to endure all that, but now, that shiny façade of fame no longer held the appeal it once had. My eyes kept shifting around the multitude, trying to find an escape in the midst of the bustling party. Martin had to leave us after a while to greet other people that I’m sure he also invited. And now he was on the stage making sure everything was ready for the show, so that ruled him out of the equation. 

I found myself wishing I could channel Fio's bold attitude, and just tell all these phonies to go pal’ carajo. She had this undeniable strength and fearlessness about her that I envied. I couldn't imagine myself possessing even a fraction of her confidence. Yet, all of these thoughts melted away when my gaze landed on his face across the rooftop.

In that moment, it felt as though the chaos around me dissipated, leaving only him in sharp focus. Our eyes met, and a smile graced his lips, instantly captivating me. There was something magnetic about him, an inexplicable allure that drew me in without a word spoken.

His smile held a warmth that felt achingly familiar, as if we shared some unspoken connection that transcended the bounds of time and place. With each passing moment, his gaze seemed to deepen, as though delving into the depths of my soul with a silent question: “Have we met before?” It was a question that echoed in the recesses of my mind, sparking a curiosity that I couldn't shake.

As I stood there, locked in this wordless exchange, I couldn't help but wonder about the secrets hidden behind those piercing eyes. Despite the throng of people around us, it felt as though we were the only two souls in the room, bound together by an invisible thread of fate.

Suddenly, his silhouette cut through the crowd, moving with purpose and determination. With each step he took, my heart quickened its pace, anticipation rising in tandem with the rhythm of my pulse. The air crackled with a silent energy and I found myself holding my breath caught in the gravity of his presence. The distance between us narrowed, until finally, he stood before me, his eyes locking onto mine with a magnetic intensity that sent shivers down my spine.

As he extended his hand towards me, a rush of warmth flooded through me, tingling at the touch of his skin against mine. “Hey,” he said, his voice smooth and resonant, sending a ripple of anticipation coursing through me. “I'm Daniel.” His name rolled off his tongue with a certain charm and a twinge of an accent, and I couldn't help but feel drawn to him even more. 

“Hi” I managed to say, attempting to regain my composure. “I'm Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he repeated, the name rolling off his tongue with a hint of curiosity. “Lovely name for a lovely lady.”

I could feel my cheeks flush at his compliment. “Thanks,” I replied, trying to play it cool. The spell broke for a moment as he suddenly realized that there was a group of people staring at him, his own cheeks seemed to redden for a second but he recovered fast and greeted them with a radiant smile. I couldn't help but admire the way he carried himself with such effortless charm. The realization sinked in that this wasn't just any charming stranger – holy shit, this was Daniel Ricciardo, the Formula 1 driver. 

A playful glint danced in his eyes as his eyes drifted back to me, and a mischievous smile tugged at the corners of his lips. His easy charm catched me off guard, and I found myself blushing involuntarily. I stole a quick glance at my friends, who shot me knowing looks, clearly amused by my reaction. It's as if they could read my mind, teasing me silently. 

Okay Y/N, keep your cool. He is just a dude, I thought as I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. He is a gorgeous, smoking hot dude with a megawatt smile who smells wonderful. ¡Agh, mierda!. 

Yeah, I was fucked. I guessed it was time to put those acting skills to use.

“So, Daniel, what brings you to this fabulous party?” I tilted my head as I asked, I prayed it came out in a flirty but nonchalant way and not in a way that revealed the nervous flutter in my stomach. Daniel grinned, his gaze lingered on me. “Well, a friend insisted that I come, said it was going to be the party of the year. And, I must say, meeting someone as captivating as you was an unexpected bonus.”

A light blush spreaded across my cheeks at his words, and I glanced away momentarily, trying to regain my composure. “Flattery will get you everywhere, won't it?”

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “I certainly hope so.”

I chuckled, trying to play it cool. “Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we?”

He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Challenge accepted,” he replied, leaning in closer. With a playful smirk, he asked, “But first, would you like to grab a drink?”

The playful exchange between us continued as we made our way towards the bar, the atmosphere around us seemingly faded into the background as we became engrossed in each other's company.

Our playful banter flowed effortlessly, each quip and witty remark met with a matching response from the other. It's like we were in our own little world, oblivious to the party swirling around us as we exchanged jokes and anecdotes. There's something about him that feels like coming home, yet I know we've never crossed paths before. His genuine smile and easygoing demeanor put me at ease, and I found myself opening up to him more than I had in a long time. 

We both paused to stare at the DJ in his element, the corners of my mouth turned up when the Dutchy’s words ringed in my head: I almost missed this by being a grumpy old lady. I glanced over to find him already fixated on me, he smiled at me softly and a soft flutter danced in the pit of my stomach as I caught his eyes lingering on my lips. Was it just my imagination, or did the air around us suddenly crackle with an electric charge?

I tried to keep my tone light, “So, what's been the highlight of your evening so far?”

“If you’d asked me this about two hours ago I’d say the good vibes and great company,” he replied smoothly, his gaze never leaving mine. “But now that I've found you, I think I've found the best part of the evening.”

“Oh, stop it,” I chuckled, feeling my cheeks warm further.

“I mean it,” he insisted, his eyes sparkling with sincerity. “You've got this magnetic energy about you. I couldn't resist coming over to say hi.”

I felt a flutter in my stomach at his words. “Well, I'm glad you did,” I replied, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “It's nice to meet someone genuine at a party like this.”

Daniel grinned, leaning in a little closer. “Tell me about it. Most people here seem more interested in flashing cameras and rubbing elbows with celebrities than having a real conversation.”

I nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of relief wash over me that he felt the same way. “Exactly. It's refreshing to find someone who values authenticity.”

His smile widened. “Well, authenticity is my middle name,” he quipped, earning a laugh from me.

“Is it really?” I teased back, raising an eyebrow playfully.

He chuckled softly. “Not quite, but close enough,” he replied. The sound of his laughter was like music to my ears, washing over me in gentle waves. I couldn't help but smile in return, feeling a warmth spread through me at the sight of his genuine amusement. There was something so effortlessly charming about him, something that made it impossible not to be drawn to him.

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, Martin, from his place behind his console, grabbed the microphone, sending a burst of excitement through the crowd. The music softened, and all eyes turned towards him, eager to hear what he had to say. With a smile, he leaned into the mic.

“Alright, everyone! Get ready, because we're about to kick off the countdown to the new year!” his voice boomed over the speakers, igniting cheers and applause.

Daniel and I exchanged surprised glances, realizing how swiftly time had slipped away during our conversation. A sheepish grin spread across our faces as we chuckled at the realization.

“Wow, can you believe it?” Daniel exclaimed, his eyes wide with amazement.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I replied, “I know, right? It feels like we just got here!”

But despite our astonishment, there was an undeniable excitement in the air as we eagerly awaited the start of the countdown. Time may have slipped away unnoticed, but we were more than ready to welcome the new year with open arms.

With the pulsating energy of the crowd and the anticipation building up, Martin's announcement seemed to mark a pivotal moment in the night. It was as if time paused for just a brief moment, allowing us to reflect on the year gone by and the possibilities that lay ahead.

As the countdown began, the atmosphere on the terrace grew electric. Each second ticking by felt charged with anticipation, drawing us closer to the threshold of a new beginning. Daniel and I joined in with the crowd, counting down in unison as the numbers on the screen dwindled.

“Ten!... Nine!... Eight!” The voices around us echoed, filling the place with excitement and joy.

As the final seconds ticked away before the stroke of midnight, I stole a moment to scan the crowd, searching for familiar faces amidst the sea of revelers. My gaze locked onto Fio, Vitto, and Danna, who were huddled together nearby. Fio, ever perceptive, caught my gaze first. With a playful nudge to Vitto and Danna, she directed their attention towards me, and they turned in unison, their eyes met mine with knowing looks and a mischievous grin spread across their faces.

With playful antics, they puckered their lips in exaggerated kissy faces, teasing me in a lighthearted manner. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at their antics, a light blush tinting my cheeks in response to their jovial teasing.

Amidst the playful exchange, a fleeting thought crossed my mind. I wondered, for just a moment, if perhaps Daniel, standing closer than before, was considering the same playful gesture. But before I could dwell on the thought, the clock struck midnight, and the room erupted into cheers and celebration.

As the cheers filled the air, Daniel and I turned to each other with shy smiles, caught up in the infectious excitement of the moment. “Happy New Year,” we said simultaneously, our voices barely audible above the din of the crowd.

For a brief moment, there was a subtle shift in the air, a silent pause that seemed to linger between us. In that fleeting instant, it felt as if time slowed down, and I found myself meeting Daniel's gaze, our eyes locking in a silent exchange filled with unspoken thoughts and emotions.

There was a palpable tension, a delicate balance hanging in the air, as if both of us were teetering on the edge of something unspoken. In that moment, it seemed as though Daniel might lean in, his movements tentative and hesitant, as if contemplating a gesture that could change everything.

Was he gonna kiss me? Oh, I wouldn’t be mad if he stole a kiss. 

Or several.

But then, just as quickly as the moment had arisen, it passed. With a soft smile and a gentle nod, Daniel seemed to reconsider, pulling back slightly as if to preserve the moment's delicate equilibrium. And in that simple gesture, the unspoken understanding between us remained.

As the moment hung in the air between Daniel and me, on the brink of something uncertain, the sounds of joyous screams suddenly pierced through the atmosphere, drawing our attention away.

Before I could fully process what was happening, I felt warm arms wrap around me, pulling me into an exuberant embrace. It was the girls, Fio, Vitto, and Danna, their laughter mingling with the cheers of the crowd as they enveloped me in their enthusiastic greeting.

"Happy New Year!" they exclaimed in unison, their voices filled with genuine warmth and excitement.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the timing of their arrival, grateful for the distraction from the almost-kiss tension that had begun to linger between Daniel and me. With their infectious energy and playful banter, they effortlessly diffused the slight awkwardness that had threatened to overshadow the moment.

As we exchanged hugs and well wishes, I couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude for their timely intervention. In their presence, the lingering tension dissipated, replaced by a sense of sisterhood and shared joy.

And as we laughed and celebrated together, I couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps some moments were meant to be savored, not rushed. Whatever the future held for Daniel and me, I knew that in that moment, I was exactly where I was meant to be.

With infectious enthusiasm, the girls dragged me towards the terrace railings, eager to get a better view of the fireworks illuminating the night sky. Laughing and chatting animatedly, we leaned against the railing, our eyes fixed on the colorful explosions lighting up the darkness.

As we marveled at the spectacle unfolding before us, Daniel excused himself with a smile, promising to join us in just a moment. I watched him disappear into the crowd, his easy charm drawing smiles and greetings from everyone he came across.

Alone for a brief moment amidst the excitement of the celebration, I took a deep breath, allowing myself to soak in the energy of the night. The air was alive with anticipation, the promise of new beginnings hanging in the air like a tangible presence.

And as the fireworks continued to paint the sky with bursts of color and light, I couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the moments shared with friends, old and new. In that fleeting moment of tranquility, amidst the chaos of the celebration, I found solace in the knowledge that no matter where life took us, our bonds would always endure, guiding us through the highs and lows of the journey ahead. I felt grateful to call these incredible women my friends. And as the last remnants of the fireworks faded into the night, I turned to raise my glass in a toast with the girls following, my heart full with the promise of the new year ahead.

Just as I turned back to try and catch a glimpse of a certain Aussie in the crowd, Daniel appeared at my side with a warm smile. His eyes sparkled with the residual excitement of the celebration, and his easygoing demeanor put me at ease.

“Hey there,” he greeted me, his voice carrying over the lingering echoes of the fireworks. “Did you enjoy the show?”

I returned his smile with a nod, the exhilaration of the moment still coursing through my veins. “It was amazing,” I replied, my voice filled with genuine awe. “I can't believe how quickly the year flew by.”

Daniel chuckled softly, his gaze drifting towards the horizon where the last traces of the fireworks faded into the darkness. “Yeah, 2019 feels like it was yesterday,” he quipped, a playful twist to his words.

I couldn't help but laugh at his silly joke, shaking my head in amusement. Despite its simplicity, his humor didn’t fail to bring a smile to my face. And as my laughter echoed into the night, I noticed Daniel's own smile widening, his eyes alight with infectious joy.

As my laughter subsided, Daniel's eyes softened, his gaze lingering on me with a warmth that sent a flutter through my chest. In the soft glow of the terrace lights, his features seemed to soften, his smile taking on a tender quality.

“You know,” he began, his voice gentle, “you look absolutely beautiful under the firework lights.”

A blush rose to my cheeks at his words, a rush of warmth spreading through me at the unexpected compliment. It was a simple gesture, but it carried a weight of sincerity that touched me deeply.

“Thank you,” I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper, but filled with genuine appreciation.

Daniel's gaze held mine for a moment longer, his expression softening even further as he had the purest beam of light on his face that made my heart melt.  “Actually,” he continued, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “you outshine even the fireworks themselves.”

A surprised chuckle escaped my lips, and I could feel my cheeks flush with a warmth that spread from his endearing words. His unexpected compliment caught me off guard, leaving me momentarily speechless.

It was such a simple yet profoundly sweet sentiment, and it took me by surprise in the best possible way.

As Daniel's sweet words lingered in the air, a comfortable silence settled between us, punctuated only by the distant sounds of the continuing celebration. It was a couple minutes after midnight, and there were already a couple resolutions broken.

I couldn't help but chuckle softly at the thought, the warmth of Daniel's presence enveloping me like a comforting embrace. Despite the inevitable imperfections of the past year, there was a sense of hope and possibility lingering in the air for this new one, a reminder that every moment held the potential for growth and renewal.

We continued to chat and laugh as we made our way to one of the high tables to continue our conversation in a more comfortable setting. Martin even made an appearance, greeting us with his usual kind and friendly attitude. A shit-eating grin adorned his face as he saw us talking. He inconspicuously winked at me which prompted me to affectionately roll my eyes. 

Okay Martin, I get it, you were right...again. 

But one curious thing happened when Martin approached. I noticed a flicker of apology in Daniel's eyes, a subtle shift in his demeanor that caught my attention. Confused, I glanced at him, wondering what had prompted this sudden change. It wasn't until much later that I would come to understand the reason behind his apologetic expression.

Unbeknownst to me, Daniel had misunderstood Martin's intentions, believing that the girl he had spoken to him about was someone else entirely. In his mind, there was no connection between Martin's matchmaking scheme and the girl he had been conversing with all along—me.

And so, we were unaware of the intricate web of plans and schemes being woven around us. Little did I know, the seeds of something special had already been planted, waiting to bloom and blossom in the days and weeks to come.

A while later, one of the waiters passed by, weaving through the crowd. Seizing the opportunity, Daniel called out to him, “Excuse me, do you have a pen?”

The waiter nodded and swiftly produced one, handing it over with a friendly smile. Once he left, Daniel grabbed a napkin from the table and quickly sketched out a tic-tac-toe grid with the pen. With a mischievous grin, he declared, “Let's make a deal. If I win, you have to give me your number.”

I couldn't help but laugh at his spontaneous challenge, the playful glint in his eyes infectious. “Alright, you're on,” I replied, picking up the pen to make my first move. 

“But,” I paused with a smirk. I raised an eyebrow at Daniel, unable to suppress a playful grin. “What do I get if I win?” I challenged him, my tone teasing and light. 

Daniel's lips curled into a flirtatious smile, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Well,” he replied, leaning in closer with a playful glint in his eyes, “if you win, you get my number instead.”

His response elicited another laugh from me, the playful banter adding to the already vibrant energy between us. With a nod of agreement, I made my move, determined to give him a run for his money.

However, despite my best efforts, Daniel proved to be a formidable opponent—athletes do tend to have another level of competitiveness after all, even with the smallest and silliest things—, and before I knew it, he had emerged victorious, marking the final square with a triumphant flourish.

With a mock sigh of defeat, I conceded, acknowledging his win with good humor. “Alright, you got me,” I chuckled, conceding to his victory. “Looks like I owe you my number.”

With a pleased smile he passed me his phone. As I began typing my number into Daniel's phone, focused on the task at hand, I felt a sudden movement beside me. Glancing up, I saw Daniel grab another napkin, his expression mischievous as he quickly scribbled something onto it. 

Curious, I watched as he slid the napkin across the table towards me. My eyes widened in surprise as I read the words written in his handwriting: “You are cute.”

A warmth spread through me at his unexpected gesture, a rush of flattered excitement tingling in my veins. With a playful smile, I looked up to meet his gaze, my heart fluttering with anticipation.

“Smooth move,” I teased, unable to hide the smile that danced on my lips. “But I think you've already won me over with your charm.”

As I finished adding my number to his phone, I slid it back across the table towards him. With a grin, Daniel accepted his phone back, his eyes sparkling with satisfaction at my response. “Can't blame a bloke for trying,” he quipped, his tone light and playful. 

The playful energy between us only seemed to intensify and I found myself drawn further into the magnetic pull of Daniel's presence, captivated by his whiskey-colored eyes that held a depth that seemed to unravel the secrets of the universe. And when he spoke, his Australian accent danced with a melodic cadence that resonated deep within my soul, infusing every word with a warmth and charm that was impossible to resist.

But it wasn't just his accent that captivated me—it was his carefree personality, his easygoing demeanor that made every moment feel effortless and free. He laughed with abandon, his infectious joy spreading like wildfire and igniting a spark of laughter within me.

And then there were his hands, expressive and animated as he spoke, each gesture painting a vivid picture of his thoughts and emotions. It was as if his hands had a language of their own, weaving tales of adventures that left me hanging on his every word.

Just as the party was reaching its peak and the energy in the room soared, one of the girls came up to me with a sense of urgency in her expression. “Hey babes, we need to head out already,” she informed me, a hint of regret in her voice.

My heart sank at the sudden announcement, realizing the abrupt end to the evening's festivities. With a mixture of disappointment and resignation, I turned to Daniel, silently conveying my apologies with a glance.

“I'm sorry, but Vitto's had a bit too much to drink,” Danna explained, her tone apologetic as she gestured towards our intoxicated companion. “We need to get her home.”

There was a flicker of disappointment in Daniel's eyes, mirrored by my own sense of frustration at the untimely interruption.

With a sympathetic smile, Daniel nodded in understanding, his expression reflecting a mixture of disappointment and acceptance. “Of course, safety first,” he replied, his voice filled with empathy. “Take care, and hopefully, we'll see each other again soon.”

As I exchanged final farewells with Daniel, a pang of regret lingered in the air, accompanied by the bittersweet realization that our time together had been cut short. Yet, amidst the disappointment, there was a glimmer of hope, a silent promise of future encounters.

With a nod of gratitude, I turned to join my friends. And as I reached the girls, I couldn't help but sigh softly, my concern for Vitto mixing with a hint of amusement. “Ay, Vitto,” I murmured, shaking my head in disbelief at how quickly she had managed to get drunk in just an hour.

Vitto, in her intoxicated state, offered a drunken apology and let out a soft laugh, her carefree demeanor infectious. “Sorry,” she slurred, her words accompanied by a playful giggle.

I couldn't help but smile at her antics, reassured by her good spirits despite the unexpected turn of events. “It's okay,” I assured her, placing an arm around her shoulder. “Let's get you home safely.”

As I turned to leave, I couldn't resist stealing a last glimpse back at Daniel. To my surprise, I found him still staring at me, his smile widening as he waved goodbye. A rush of warmth flooded through me at the sight.

On our way home, the girls couldn't resist teasing me about Daniel, joking about how we had spent the whole night together. Their playful banter only served to deepen my blush, fueling the whirlwind of emotions swirling within me. The city lights blurred into a mosaic of colors outside the car window and the laughter of the girls faded into the background as I found myself lost in the memory of Daniel's captivating smile, the warmth of his gaze still lingering in the corners of my mind.

I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something truly special about that smile, something that lingered long after the party had ended and the night had grown quiet. To me, it wasn't just any smile—it was warm, genuine, and filled with an undeniable spark that seemed to reach straight into my soul. It was a smile that spoke volumes, conveying a sense of understanding, a twinge of mischief, and unspoken promise that left me breathless with anticipation.

With a soft sigh, I couldn't help but reflect on the serendipitous twist of fate that had brought us together tonight. In that brief moment of connection, amidst the music and laughter, I had felt a spark of something special—a connection that defied explanation and left me yearning for more.

And as I stared out into the night, the city lights twinkling like stars in the darkness, I knew that I would carry the memory of that encounter with me forever. In that moment, meeting him felt like a spell had been cast upon me, capturing my heart in an instant.

The thought made a soft smile tug at the corners of my lips, my heart fluttering with the anticipation of what the future might hold.

At the end of the night, all I knew was, 

Daniel, I was enchanted to meet you.

[schizodiaries]

World Schizophrenia Day was a couple months ago (May 24th), and I had intended to publish this post on that day but I couldn’t finish it in time, so consider this a belated Schizophrenia Day post, or perhaps this can be a Disability Pride Month post!

I want to send positive energies to all people on the schizophrenia spectrum, but I want to give a special shoutout to those who don’t get enough recognition, or are often forgotten in our community:

Early onset schizophrenics, or those who are diagnosed as children or teens.

People with schizotypal personality disorder, delusional disorder, schizoaffective disorder, or schizophreniform disorder.

The schizophrenics who are considered gravely disabled and therefore cannot live independently or care for themselves on their own.

Homeless schizophrenics, especially those without access to mental health treatment.

The schizophrenic people throughout history who never got the chance to be diagnosed or treated.

Schizophrenics part of other marginalized groups, like schizophrenic people of color and queer schizophrenics.

The schizophrenics who have to be institutionalized long term and don’t currently have access to the outside world.

Schizospec people who also live with physical disabilities.

The “crazy” or “scary” schizophrenics- those who talk to themselves, behave aggressively, act unpredictably, or have unusual beliefs.

People who were misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, but turned out to have a different illness, and vice versa.

People who have schizospec disorders alongside other mental disorders, like autism, DID, personality disorders, mood disorders, and so on.

Schizospec people who are not “out,” who have to mask and appear neurotypical, whether it’s for safety or other reasons.

Unmedicated schizophrenics, whether by choice or reasons out of their control.

The schizophrenic survivors of abuse at the hands of their family, partners, or medical staff.

Schizophrenic victims of police brutality.

The schizophrenics that we lost to suicide.

And there are still so many more of us. (If you feel like I left anyone out, feel free to respond to this post with any additions you have.)

Happy World Schizophrenia Day / Disability Pride Month to all of you, from one schizospec to another. The world is a more beautiful place with you in it. I hope there will come a day when we don’t have to be ashamed of who we are. And I hope we can all find it within ourselves to not only survive, but thrive, in a world that likes to demonize us. So let’s all be here for one another, and remember you are never alone. I have so much gratitude the schizospec community for teaching me how to love and accept myself, and I wish the same for all of us. I love you, I see you, and I hope you can live happy and fulfilling lives, schizophrenia and all 🩷

[yhwh-jas]

Important Message From Spirit🦋

The Piles:

Book A Personal Reading Here

The collective is in this very emotional energy. It’s like feeling so imaginative, passionate, in love (even if you don’t have a lover), & so sad and lonely at the same time. We’ve been feeling everything so deeply and our intuition is extremely heightened during this time. We’re very sensitive to energies and other peoples feelings, even our own feelings. This reading is timeless so whenever you come across this, it’ll be meant for you.

♡Pile One♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you might’ve found love in the city, out of town (or they were out of town), you could be from a city or the other way around, but overall there’s this energy of looking for spiritual love. You want a deep connection that connects you to deeper parts of yourself. For some of you it could be that maybe you are finding love within yourself and learning to live in your truth. I see you expressing yourself authentically and being open and honest about how you feel and what you’re thinking. I also see some of you having a conversation with someone who will be expressing how they truly feel for you.

Channeled Song: We Found Love -Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris ( when she says “we found love in a hopeless place”) Hey There Lonely Girl -Eddie Holman (when he says “hey there lonely girl, lonely girl, don’t you know this lonely boy loves you”.) , Confidence -Ocean Alley (when he says “It’s all about confidence, babyyy”.)

I’m seeing you in this soft, nurturing energy. You’re loving yourself more, taking care of those around you, for some of you taking care of your kid(s), family, & the things you cherish most. You’re feeling really appreciative or you will be. I also see that someone has really nice eyes. Could be blue, light brown, or greenish hazel. Spirit is saying that you’ve been really patient, dedicated, & efficient. You’re putting in efficient effort into your priorities, goals, & connections. For some of you I’m hearing you’re focusing on nature or connecting with animals, taking care of animals/pets. Take that how it resonates. You’re reaping some type of reward for your hard work and discipline and it’s related to a relationship or important connection in your life. I’m hearing you’ve healed something that was hurting you and you’ve learned to love yourself and the things around you more deeply. You’ve connected to your roots and strengthened your faith and in doing this, you’ve removed illusions and feelings of confusion because you’re more grounded within your energy. You were feeling stuck in a temporary situation and it could’ve been in a connection for some of you. It was causing anxiety, stress, fear, & imbalance in your life. It definitely took up a lot of your thoughts and I’m seeing a change happening where you’re taking back your power and gaining control over your mind. Now isn’t the time for you to do anything impulsive or risky. Like diving into some kind of situation that you know isn’t good for you, that will resonate for some of you. It’s like someone left you out in the cold, kicked you while you were down, wasn’t there for you when you needed them most and everytime you’re thriving, looking good, healthy etc. they want to come back in and try to trick you into focusing on them or what you could’ve had with them. Don’t let this person in your energy for those that resonate with this. For my feminines I feel like you’re finally tapping back into your loving, compassionate, and nurturing energy. You’ve manifested communication with someone that you share a deep connection with and I’m sensing you really trust this person or you will. It can be a friend, lover, family, whatever. There’s distance between you and I feel like you’ve both been alone for some time. You’ve spent time in solitude, self reflecting, and so has this person. Trust your intuition and how you feel. I feel like this is a connection that is meant to heal you and it will bring you so much joy and happiness. it is the type of connection that will heal your inner child and bring back out your creativity. I feel like whenever you met or got closer to each other you both were in a period of your life where there was a lack of faith and hope. It’s like where hard times meet and end for the both of you. Not necessarily end, but they get so much easier to deal with when you’re with this person or have each other in your lives. Both of you could’ve grew up in families, or in an urban city/ place that was of low income. This connection is divinely guided. For those of you where this is a romantic situation, I see them hiding how they truly feel about you behind this cold demeanor because they’re still learning how they feel so they can better understand it. However, they are very honest and blunt with you. I feel like they could be a little distant at times or when you communicate with them it’s very quick and doesn’t necessarily last for that long. The conversations are short between you. They’re very patient and kind towards you. I feel like they really value this connection with you. Romantically speaking, they want to take their time with you and I see them wanting a very long-term commitment with you. For others there is some type of investment that you and this person are working towards together and it will be successful spirit is saying. Things might feel stagnant like they are moving slow or not exactly going at the pace that you want but I feel like this is the pace that you need.

This person feels a little bit stuck right now because they are gaining clarity about how they feel and trying to figure out a way to offer you something. it’s like they’re trying to figure out a way to communicate with you that they want a relationship with you, and they want to be able to invest in a future with you but they need a little bit of time to come forward, but they will. For others I feel like there are some type of ideas or plans that are being made and this person involved needs time to be able to think about what they wanna do and how they wanna go about these plans. Romantically they don’t wanna lose you. They are already sad as it is because I feel like they know that you’re holding back a deeper part of yourself, and they want to see and experience that deeper part of you. They want you to express your love for them and they want you to be nurturing and I’m seeing that they think that you are their person and they are hiding how they feel because of fear. They’re also letting go of bad habits and their pride. What’s next for you guys in romantic situations, I see this person coming in fast and they’re ready to tell you how they feel because I feel like they can’t see life without you in it you make them so happy and having you in their life feels like a blessing. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow but it’s coming really really soon. For those of you in other situations that aren’t romantic I see this person getting really inspired by something and that specific idea or feeling that they have, they’re going to tell you about it and it’s going to be something that is really smart and it will make the both of you very happy. For those of you who have kids and it’s not with this person, I see you getting in a relationship with them and they’re being very loving and supportive with you and your child or children. They want to take care of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Two♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’ve been very emotional and tapping into a deep part of yourself. You could be spending time alone, meditating, & learning more about who you are and what you believe in. Spirit is helping you learn to be more honest with yourself and others about how you feel and developing healthy ways of expressing it. Life could be flowing easily and I’m getting this energy of peace and serenity.

Channeled Song: No Air - Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown (the part where she says “if I should die before I wake, it’s cause you took my breath away. Losing you is like living in a world with no air.”)

There’s a connection in your life that you’ve been really patient about and I feel like things haven’t progressed the way you wanted. I’m hearing you put so much energy into it, but this person involved hasn’t shown up and offered you anything. You’ve put your focus and intention on loving yourself and those you cherish. You’re also focused on your responsibilities. 1111 can be significant. Communication, understanding, and honesty has been so hard with this person because when you try to talk to them it’s like they come off so cold and turn everything into a disagreement. They give you the cold shoulder and try to undermine you. I’m seeing that they always make it seem like things are harder for them and don’t consider your feelings, what you’re thinking, or even what you’re saying. It’s like talking to them is a losing game. However you’ve been independent, determined, confident, loving, & nurturing. You haven’t let this situation affect you. Or at least you aren’t anymore. You’re standing your ground. I’m seeing you manifesting clarity & you’re learning a very important lesson here. This person hurt you and has no intention of showing up the way you need them to. This could be a past person for a lot of you. They were blocking your blessings because you’ve held on and waited for them meanwhile they didn’t acknowledge it. You felt stuck and didn’t want to free yourself because you loved them. However it caused a lot of anxiety, confusion, indecision, & fear for you. It imbalanced your spiritual and emotional side. For a lot of you it’s that there’s a past person you’re holding onto that must be let go of in order for your blessing to be revealed. There are illusions and deceit in your life. Maybe it’s you just deceiving yourself because you know this person isn’t good for you. You’re self sabotaging yourself by allowing someone who’s only holding you back stick around. You don’t need this person, you want them. They don’t benefit you. You were drowning in emotion trying to save this person and just simply love them, but I’m hearing it’s time to let go. If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you then it’s for you, but if it doesn’t then you’ll know. Sometimes people will come back just for unhealthy reasons tho but when I say come back I mean come back and show up. Im hearing you take no chances of missing out. You’ll love someone for as long as you possibly can. You’ve been tossed to the side, left behind, lied to, and pushed away, but you still love endlessly. It’s time for that chapter of your life to end. You’re stepping into a new phase of your life and all that being breadcrumbed, confused, misled, lied to, and manipulated is in the past. You’re setting boundaries and you no longer tolerate it. I’m seeing you have the upper hand in a situation and you’re abundant. With energy, resources, whatever it is you may be abundant in you are able to share this with people who need it. I’m hearing you’re generous with your time and energy and you don’t mind spending quality time with those who need a light in their life. There is multiple energies around you. Multiple people who want your attention. I’m seeing you have your eyes set on what you want and you know exactly what that is. You want a deep connection with someone you can trust and commit to. I’m hearing you’ve checked out. You’ve put your emotions aside and now you’re giving off more of this intellectual energy. More aware, understanding, honest, smart, strategic, & blunt. You have very good discernment. Especially when it comes to other people’s energies and what is good for you and what isn’t. Trust what you know. Right now I’m having a hard time getting your messages out and I feel like spirit is saying the focus is you. You are the main highlight right now and you’re stepping into this divine feminine energy. If you don’t have feminine energy you’re stepping into a more intuitive, empathetic, nurturing energy. You are a healer whether you know it or not but you attract people who need you and your energy.

Just be careful not to let others drain you. Whatever blessings are coming for you spirit isn’t revealing too much. You’re diving deep into self reflection and spiritual awareness and I’m seeing you aren’t focused on love or relationships. Those come when you aren’t expecting it. Right now spirit is teaching you important lessons.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Three♡:

Based off the picture you chose I’m getting this energy of you feeling a bit melancholic and nostalgic in a bittersweet way. You’re spending time alone and focusing on tapping in with yourself because you’ve been feeling detached and disconnected from your feelings, maybe even your surroundings.

Channeled Song: Lose Control -Teddy Swims (specifically heard the part when he says “problematic, problem is I want your body like a fiend, like a bad habit. Bad habits hard to break when I’m with you. Yeah I know I can do it on my own, but I want that real full moon black magic, and it takes two.”)

I’m seeing that there are outside factors disrupting your life. It’s like situations that happen may feel like nothing ever goes your way. You’re holding back so much love and emotion and in this energy of hiding your love, hiding how you feel, being closed off emotionally, & feeling like you’re having a hard time letting go of emotions from your past. Maybe you’re having a hard time letting go of the way someone has made you feel. It’s like the feeling of rejection is weighing on you and maybe because of that hurt you’re isolating yourself and feeling lonely. You’re keeping yourself from being able to open up emotionally in connections. You know how you feel and why it is you feel the way you do but you’re still holding onto that hurt due to fear and anxiety. There is someone that God has for you and I’m seeing they will help you see through the illusions of your own emotions. Maybe even your pride is in the way. However this person is very emotionally intelligent and understanding they can just come off as very private at times. They know when to speak and they’re both logical and Intuitive when it comes to expressing themselves. They can be very passionate and flirty at times and sometimes be very rash about what they say or do. There’s a feeling either you’re feeling like you aren’t being appreciated enough or they are but I feel like spirit is telling you to step it up. Don’t hold back. Be open and free spirited. Allow yourself to feel and enjoy the feeling of love. Maybe you overthink too much at times and don’t allow yourself to feel. Some of you take your person for granted by not being emotionally there and making sure their needs are being met too. You’re very guarded about letting them in because of your boundaries. Spirit wants you to do what brings you joy. Don’t keep the sun out of your life because you’ve been hurt. I’m also hearing that no matter how other people act or what they say, never stop being you. You can come off with this very rigid and vain energy at times and I’m hearing it’s your ego. Listen to your intuitive side and give the love you want to give. Don’t listen to your fear. You are holding yourself back from receiving the love spirit wants you to receive. You’re hurting yourself because you won’t open up about how you feel to someone. I feel like you avoid conflicts and have a fear that you opening up about how you feel will start an argument. Know that hiding how you feel and refusing to communicate will only make things worse for you. It’s okay to feel passionate and excited. It’s okay to want someone and it’s okay to express how you feel to that person. I also feel like you don’t open up when you’re sad and you try to hide everything. Not everyone can read your mind. If you feel really overwhelmed take some time for yourself and then open up when you feel ready. Try to balance yourself out so your love life can be balanced as well. The more you’re in harmony with yourself and in tune with your emotions the more your love life improves. You miss opportunities when you refuse to make a choice and stay in a period of inaction. If you know what you want then act on it instead of letting the world make decisions for you. You will feel so much better when you allow yourself to do what you feel guided to do. Treat your partner with lovingly and morally. I feel like you want marriage and there is someone you deeply love in your life. This connection has the potential to lead to marriage. All you have to do is be honest. Even if this relationship doesn’t work out with the person you have in your life right now, you being honest and open will help you evolve and learn new lessons you need in order to move forward. I am seeing a positive result coming from your honesty though. Be sure that you know what you want before you act on it and plan your approach before taking action. All you need is confidence, courage, and drive. I feel like you’re picky about your lovers and so is this person. You both need independence and your own alone time.

Spirit is saying to be patient when it comes to this person. You both feel the same about each other honestly. I feel like if you say I love you to each other it’s genuine. If you haven’t said it yet you both love each other unconditionally. You’re ready to move forward and come towards your person. You might be scared because financially maybe you don’t feel stable and that creates insecurity within you but know that it’s okay. You don’t have to feel insecure about it with this person. Or with anyone for that matter. You may not be where you want to be financially but you don’t have to let that stop you. They think you are very intelligent and it’s a turn on for them. They are so attracted to the way you think and I feel like they admire the way you see life. They feel like you are their person and the relationship with you is very strong. It’s best to treat each other with gentleness and empathy because this relationship is very passionate so sometimes if not treated the right way anger or frustration can be an issue. You both want the traditional structured relationship and I’m seeing very high potential for this to happen. Be positive and do what you feel guided to do!! Pile one might resonate with some of you.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

♡Pile Four♡:

Based off the picture you chose I feel like you’re gaining clarity on a situation you didn’t see clearly before. Spirit is showing you the truth about something you’ve been feeling and it might be a truth that hurts, but it also lifts a weight that was holding you back or stagnant. It doesn’t have to be a truth that hurts though, that’s only for some!

Channeled Song: Counting Stars -OneRepublic (it’s crazy to me because in this song he says “in my face is flashing signs, seek it out and ye shall find.” And obviously lightning flashes)

You’re feeling a bit sad and disappointed because of a situation that happened in the recent past. I feel like you’re focused on the hurt rather than the positive side of things. Spirit is saying there are opportunities that are for you right now but you aren’t seeing them because you’re focused on negative feelings. However there is a wish fulfillment or something happening for you that will inspire you and give you hope. It’s like a divine revelation. You must get out of your own way. There are negative thoughts and fears circling your mind and this leads to self sabotage and constant hopelessness. There is abundance, love, happiness, and so much more waiting for you but you must let go of your worries. It’s easier said than done but when you tell yourself there is better you will eventually start to believe it. I see a romantic connection in store for a lot of you. For others I feel like a truth about a connection in your life has been revealed and it’s made you sad but it was for your own good. Things haven’t progressed the way you want them to but it’s because you aren’t focused on watering whatever it is you want to grow. I feel like some of you got clarity about how you feel towards someone and because you’re focused on how disappointed you are from other situations you’re not focused on this person. However they are abundant, nurturing, empathetic, intuitive, supportive, and understanding. They have love for you and I feel like they will understand how you feel if you open up to them. For others you’re not watering yourself enough. You aren’t loving yourself or realizing how much of an inspiring, kind, intelligent, divine being you are. Spirit wants you to devote more time and energy to yourself. I feel like communication with someone is happening very soon and there will be clarity and understanding in this conversation. Things will be balancing themselves out pretty quickly but there is a need for honesty. Take that however it resonates. I feel like some of you feel pessimistic about love and moving forward in life but spirit wants you to open up and enjoy the beauty of it. There are better times ahead and I feel like you are going to be receiving some type of good karma for all the hard work you’ve done in the past. You’ve been through so much and God is blessing you with something that will bring you so much peace. Just try to open yourself up to it and let go of the unnecessary burdens you’ve been carrying. Whatever hardships you’ve been facing I see you overcoming them and coming out stronger, more confident, & resilient. I also see you letting go of bad habits and making commitments to a very important job, person, or investment in your life. There will be plenty of opportunities coming your way.

♡━━━♡━━━♡

[kutputli]

It's been two days since I finished watching Interview with the Vampire, and the show has been consuming all my brain space. I didn't have the energy to live blog each episode of season 2, but I want to get my reactions down, before I go in search of reading other people's. This will be a haphazard collection of thoughts, so I think what I will do is start talking character by character and see if that helps me organise things any.

Louis

This one is the beating heart of the show, and I don't see how it would have worked if they had not made him a Black man. Everything stems from what he learned during his life of how to survive and thrive and yet remain kind and compassionate, and watching him be fragile and loving and grieving is soul stirring. Perhaps other people might still have found the show engaging with the role played by a white character (given fandom's embrace of the slave owning pirates in Our Flag Means Death, I am sure a slave owning Louis would not have been an insurmountable problem).

But this story belongs to the Black Louis, and to what Jacob Anderson made of him. Just impeccable acting choices, all down the line. I am mesmerised by him.

Praise for the character aside, he is the moral heart of the show. (I know there is a case to be made for Claudia, but I will get to her after this.) I don't actually much enjoy villains presented as anti-heroes, and Louis engenders so much empathy in a show filled with rather awful people.

Of course, he loves Claudia. And I do see him putting her first to the best of his ability. Claudia may be entitled to her resentment, but that doesn't make it rational fact. Louis encouraging her to leave the first time, knowing that Lestat would follow him if he left, that's a valid choice. And then choosing not to burn Lestat... I am reminded of how few victims of domestic abuse actually murder their abusers. The main desire is always to get away. I don't condemn Louis for choosing to not kill his lover.

Claudia had no roots laid down in New Orleans, but Louis did, and he gave all of that up to support her really rather nonsensical search for mystical vampires who were not as awful as Lestat. He helped her join the coven even if he could see it was a cult. And when she introduced him to Madeline, he listened to her. He turned her for Claudia. I don't ever see a moment where he stopped actively caring for her and doing the labour to prove it. I took the line about her being a burden as fully just transparent bait for Armand.

And when Lestat shows up at the trial, its Claudia that Louis is focussed on. He Always. Puts. Her. First.

The way that Louis finds his way into a relationship with Armand is so heartbreakingly soft. We never see them in their intimate moments as dom and sub, but I get the sense that he would be a tender lover -what he wants is to be respected, to have control.

And then we come to the post-trial choices.

I can somewhat buy him sparing Armand's life during his vengeance murder spree, because it wasn't just that Armand said he had saved him during the trial - if you remember, Armand was only encouraging him to leave Paris. Louis was the one who asked. But also, Armand was the one who let him out of the coffin. He did save Louis, and Louis would have tasted the blood of the person who saved him and known it was him.

I think maybe Louis was able to get over Armand facilitating Claudia's murder, because he saw him as a victim paralysed in the same way that he himself had been. Louis knows about having to keep his head down and be complicit with an oppressive system, and I think he offered the benefit of the doubt to Armand because of that. Perhaps also - Louis forgave Claudia for attempting to murder Lestat because he could see her desparation and why she needed to do it. Maybe Louis created a story for himself where Armand was similarly trapped. I don't know. To me, his choice of staying with Armand is the one I am the most questioning of.

(All of this is presupposing that what we saw was what actually happened. There are indications that there is yet another layer to the trial that we don't know about, and because Louis wasn't there as primary witness for the end, maybe some new facts will emerge to make Armand either more sympathetic, or more manipulative.)

Louis's relationship with Daniel is endearing and charming and all things adorable. I hope they whatsapp each other often and have some uncomplicated relaxing stress-relieving sex.

As for Louis and Lestat... see, I was ok with what I saw on the screen. I saw an abuse survivor leave his second marriage the instant he found out he had been lied to, and I saw him visit the parent of his child for closure. Taking on the burden of Claudia's death is nonsense, of course, but it was believeable nonsense. In that I accept that Louis, after having learned that Lestat did lift a finger to partially save his life, spilled out from all his generosity and love, what he thought might help the wretched ex he saw eating on rats and playing on a plank.

But what I am not ok with, what repulses me to the core, is the apparent conviction of the show producers that Louis and Lestat are destined to return to each other, as the great love of each other's lives. It is true that some domestic abuse survivors never manage to completely free themselves from their abuser, and some spouses continue to stay with the abuser of their child (Alice Munro, looking at you). But that storyline is a horror story. Nothing in the framing of the show indicates that horror. And I do not wish for a season 3 that walks down that road.

[lvlyhao]

PAC: what’s special about you?

Hello, lovely people, and welcome to this pick-a-card reading. Today is Friday, Venus’ day, and we’re diving a bit deeper into what is special about each of you. This reading was channeled for tons of self-love and light!

♡ Please follow, like and reblog if this resonated with you so I can do more fun readings like this in the future ♡

How do I choose a pile?

Take a deep breath or two, close your eyes, and focus on the question we’re asking the cards today. Then, take a look at the images above. Which one of them calls your name?

───⋆☆───────────────

If you chose Dokyeom, welcome to pile 1!

Song: fighting (BSS)

Card: 4 of cups; water energy (pisces, scorpio, cancer)

Bottom of the deck: 7 of pentacles; earth energy (taurus, virgo, capricorn)

It seems you’ve been going through a tough time in your life right now. People tell you that things will look up, or that not every day is a bad day, but that just doesn’t really matter to you at the moment. You may be experiencing feelings of apathy, and being disconnected from your own reality. The few things that bring a smile to your face feel so far away, it can be hard to keep going. However, this card also indicates a moment where you’re finally going to be pulled out of this darkness. What’s so special about you is your ability not only to endure difficult periods in your life, but realize when you’ve had enough and completely turn it around! When you feel more like yourself, you have the incredible ability to see the beauty in life, and in others. You are an immensely positive and resilient person, and all that is left to do is remind yourself that you’ve had bad days before, and you got through them. Rely on expanding your awareness of how you can be more connected and present in your own life right now, and things will fall into place.

If you chose Joshua, welcome to pile 2!

Song: black eye (vernon)

Card: 5 of swords; air energy (aquarius, gemini, libra)

Bottom of the deck: seven of cups; water energy (pisces, scorpio, cancer)

The 5 of swords, in other contexts, could have a completely different meaning. What I’m getting, though, especially from the artwork in my deck and the song Spirit assigned to you, is that what is so special about you is your ability to thrive no matter the conditions. The environments you’re inserted in are often hard to navigate or even hostile, and that intimidates a lot of people. They lose sight of their goals and give up, but not you. Never you. You have the ability to keep your eyes on the prize and hold your head high, never letting other people’s negative energies mellow you out. You are tough, brave, bold, and ready to step into your full power as a person. The only thing this card warns you about, however, is to be careful not to push the people who love you away once you get into your more focused mindset. Keep yourself kind even when faced with a challenge, and you’ll achieve whatever you dream of and much more. You go!

If you chose Vernon, welcome to pile 3!

Song: lunch (BSS)

Card: 2 of pentacles; earth energy (taurus, virgo, capricorn)

Bottom of the deck: the high priestess; cancer energy

As a person, you are someone who’s highly adaptable. Right now, things may be a bit tricky in your life since you are being needed in different aspects (this could be work and family, family and school, school and love, etc). The earth and water energy indicate you’re embodying a very hardworking and, at the same time, intuitive energy. You’re doing your part in all of your projects, and listening to your inner self when it comes to important decisions. This is great for you. It can be very easy to become so focused in one area of our lives that we forget another one, but you’re keeping your balance flawlessly! It’s probably not your first time facing a situation like this one, so you’ve been kind of confident in yourself. Spirit is saying you should keep on trusting yourself for whatever may come your way. Soon this period of juggling will be over, and you’ll be able to reconnect with activities and hobbies you used to enjoy: maybe singing, drawing, dancing… you got this!

[astrogurujimayanksblog]

Exploring Your Inner World: How the 12th House Shapes Your Desires and Fantasies

The 12th House in astrology is often associated with the hidden, subconscious, and mystical realms of our lives. It governs our secrets, fantasies, and unspoken desires—things that are kept away from the public eye, known only in our private moments. In astrology, each zodiac sign brings its unique energy to this introspective house, shaping how our fantasies and secret worlds come to life. Here, we explore what each zodiac sign brings to the 12th House and how it influences one's hidden desires.

Aries in the 12th House: The Thrill of Hidden Adventures

For an Aries with their 12th House, the thrill lies in secretive and intimate adventures. This placement craves moments filled with adrenaline and excitement, yet grounded in a profound connection. They are drawn to stolen moments—like a hidden rendezvous or a brief touch in public—that feel exclusively theirs. Aries in this position seeks to form a world filled with excitement that only their partner is privy to, a secret universe built on trust and a shared thrill.

Taurus in the 12th House: Sensory Indulgence and Unhurried Romance

Taurus in the 12th House has a deep, hidden desire for sensuality and slow, indulgent connection. This sign wants an atmosphere of warmth and comfort, where each gesture is savored. Imagine a serene setting with dim lights, soft music, and cozy blankets. Taurus dreams of these intimate hours, relishing the luxury of quiet connection. In this hidden space, time slows down, allowing each touch and kiss to feel like a cherished moment. For Taurus, privacy and intimacy go hand-in-hand, creating a space that feels like an escape from reality.

Gemini in the 12th House: The Secret Language of Intimacy

For Gemini in the 12th House, intimacy is a language all its own. They yearn for conversations that feel almost clandestine, using coded messages and secret playlists to share a hidden bond. Gemini thrives on the idea of cryptic notes left behind, late-night talks that deepen their connection, and small, playful exchanges that feel like a private code between them and their partner. This sign’s ideal secret world is one where words unlock unspoken depths, building a connection that feels like a hidden puzzle only the two of them understand.

Cancer in the 12th House: A Safe Haven of Love

With Cancer in the 12th House, the hidden desire is for a love that feels nurturing and secure, a true sanctuary. This placement craves a quiet refuge, where both partners can retreat from the outside world. Cancer dreams of lazy mornings wrapped in blankets, shared whispers, and tender gestures that speak of unwavering trust. This private realm is where Cancer’s heart feels at home, a place only for two, shielded from the world. Their secret fantasy is grounded in the desire for a protective, gentle love that forms a bond unbreakable by outside forces.

Leo in the 12th House: A Private Kingdom of Adoration

For a Leo in the 12th House, there is a soft and vulnerable side hidden beneath their outward confidence. They crave grand yet quietly shared gestures, like candlelit dinners or a surprise getaway, where they feel cherished and appreciated. Leo’s secret fantasy is to create a personal, royal world with their partner, a space where they can fully express their affections. In this hidden realm, Leo lets down their guard, creating a warm, intimate world filled with genuine adoration, where they feel both special and understood.

Virgo in the 12th House: An Oasis of Thoughtful Connection

Virgo in the 12th House desires a deeply meaningful and intentional connection. Their fantasy is built on small, thoughtful gestures—handwritten notes, shared glances, or quiet coffees together. They are drawn to the idea of a relationship where every touch and look carries significance, creating a private, cultivated love. For Virgo, the 12th House reveals a side of them that values slow-growing trust and devotion, a secret garden of love where vulnerability blossoms into a deeply rooted bond.

Libra in the 12th House: The Harmony of a Private Romance

With Libra in the 12th House, there is a hidden wish for a love that feels like an elegant dance. Libra dreams of moonlit nights, gentle embraces, and an intimate bond that flows harmoniously. Their fantasy is a beautifully balanced love story, where every touch feels perfect and every moment shared is serene. In their hidden world, love is an art form—a quiet, graceful exchange where two souls meet in perfect balance, creating a realm that feels both tender and profound.

Scorpio in the 12th House: A Deep, Unspoken Connection

For a Scorpio in the 12th House, love is all about depth and authenticity. Their secret desires lie in raw, vulnerable moments where both partners feel completely seen and understood. They crave the type of connection where words aren’t necessary, and quiet intimacy speaks volumes. Scorpio’s hidden fantasy is a world where they can reveal their deepest selves, forming a bond rooted in trust and honesty, where both souls are fully exposed and united.

Sagittarius in the 12th House: A Secret Adventure of the Heart

With Sagittarius in the 12th House, hidden desires revolve around the thrill of shared exploration. This sign dreams of spontaneous road trips, laughter-filled moments, and journeys that feel both exciting and intimate. For Sagittarius, the perfect secret world is a shared adventure, a private story of unforgettable memories. Their fantasy is a private journey where every experience is thrilling, creating a love that feels as wild and boundless as it does intimate.

Capricorn in the 12th House: Soft Vulnerability in Quiet Moments

A Capricorn in the 12th House secretly longs for a softer, more vulnerable connection. This placement desires a quiet evening filled with gentle gestures, a safe space away from the structured world where they can fully let go. Capricorn dreams of intimacy that is steady and enduring, built moment by moment. In this private world, love feels like a quiet foundation—a reminder that true connection grows with time, forming an unbreakable bond rooted in mutual respect and understanding.

Aquarius in the 12th House: A Love Beyond Conformity

For Aquarius in the 12th House, love is a blend of freedom and shared rebellion. They yearn for a connection that breaks boundaries, where they feel free yet intimately connected. Aquarius’ secret world involves spontaneous escapes, late-night conversations, and laughter over shared secrets. Their hidden desire is a love that doesn’t need labels, a relationship that feels both rebellious and deeply personal. This hidden fantasy allows them to maintain their individuality while creating a unique, unbounded connection with their partner.

Pisces in the 12th House: A Dreamy, Otherworldly Love

With Pisces in the 12th House, fantasies are ethereal, romantic, and almost mystical. They dream of love that feels like a fairytale, filled with starlit nights, whispered words, and gentle, soulful touches. Pisces longs for a private world where reality blurs into a realm of dreams, a love that transcends the everyday. Their secret fantasy is a bond that feels timeless, where each moment together feels like a cherished dream, creating an intimate world beyond the ordinary.

By understanding the influence of your zodiac sign in the 12th House, you can gain insights into your secret desires and the hidden realms of your personality. Embracing these aspects can bring a deeper connection to yourself and your relationships, allowing you to explore the mysterious and often unspoken parts of your heart.

[your-queer-dad]

Hey Queer dad, I only just found this blog, but I'm writing you anyway, I Don't want to be anonymous, I want my name attached to my story I fear that I'm probably going to explain myself poorly but here goes anyway I am going to be 24 years old this May, I've been on E since 10 - 2020 Ive had to move out to live with my boyfriend of 3 years and it feels like I've all but abandoned my dreams of going through college as an engineer, things were hard to keep up with when covid struck and now I'm a trans-woman living in Georgia USA, I understand that its not as good as my home-state of New York on trans issues, but I have my BF and his Family who are supportive... I'm SCARED as of late sure I live in a fairly chill part of the state, but i'm SCARED like big time, its making my mental health journey harder, and I'm finding a lot of VERY bad thoughts creeping in, mostly about my appearance and all that, I don't look all that fem when i have trouble taking care of my day-to-day hygiene,

My dad is ""Supportive"" as far as accepting the fact that I'm his daughter now, but he and most of my extended family still doesn't use my pronouns or chosen name. My mom, well she left this world, and me alone in it, sure she was never the best to me, but she would have been the one person to support me. When she left I promised myself and her that I would take the little support I spit on and ground into the dirt as a teenager and actually be true to myself.

I know that at this point I am rambling, but I want to put meaning and journey behind my words THANK YOU, for being here for us. THANK YOU for providing a space for us to ask questions, and get parental style advice when we have no-one else and I ask of you this, how does one find community in this world when one struggles to navigate the fear she feels from the world around her?

Hi!! Thank you so much for reaching out. Honestly, it sounds like you've had such a rough time and I am really proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story, I appreciate it, and I'll do my best to help out.

Personal story time: I myself was (and still am sometimes) in a very similar situation myself. And it is scary, it's really isolating to see so much hate from others just for being yourself, and it makes you want to withdraw and hide. And I hid, for so long- it's really hard to show your true self in a world so full of hate and fear.

But I did, slowly, step by step. A little bit every day. Us humans, we're not supposed to be on our own. We're pack animals, like wolves or lions, we thrive off other people's company (some more than others). With mental health, when all you want to do is hide and let the world forget that you exist, what helps you the most is finding others who feel like it and can help.

Easier said than done right?

I'm still working on it, and there's never going to be a stage where you're perfect at it- but every day, just actively trying to engage with others around you, I found helped me. Not running away when people offer help, speaking to new people, finding my local queer community- just actively being aware of my surroundings and gently pushing myself to talk to new people.

The worlds a lot less scary when you have an army of support behind you.

It takes time, and energy. It's hard. And definitely baby steps, small steps. But there are so many good people out there, who will love you and accept you and value you, you just have to find them.

I'm really proud of you, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to and feel free to reach out anytime. Everything will be okay.

- dad x

[zodiactalks]

Most CHARITABLE Zodiac Signs Ranked

If you were asked whether you would like the world to be a better place, I am sure your answer would be yes.

None of us wish any harm to others and would gladly do our part to contribute to society (except, of course, the psychopathic or antisocial).

A charitable person is socially conscious, generous, kind, very sensitive, and eager to make a difference in the world.

They are less concerned about their not-so-important personal matters and always keep others in mind when making decisions.

However, some of us seem too wrapped up in our personal affairs and then don't have the slightest time left to do a little charity!

While others seem to devote all their energy and efforts to helping those in need.

Read on and find out which are the most charitable signs of the zodiac.

#1. Pisces

Pisces is the Zodiac’s last sign and can see themselves reflected in everyone else, so empathy is as natural to them as breathing. These signs thrive on helping others. They never look out for their own welfare without taking other people into account.

You can find these generous individuals doing charity work in hospitals, shelters, orphanages, and even prisons.

They also often lead fundraisers for abandoned animals and promote environmentalist habits. They just have a lot of love to give to the world, and they will go to great lengths to share it with those who need it the most.

#2. Cancer

Cancer is a water sign that knows very well how it feels to be vulnerable and search for comfort. That's why they tend to do charity work and help people in need of support.

At first, it is difficult for them to open up, as Cancer is shy around people they don't know and tends to be more reserved.

They usually look for organizations that remind them of their childhood and that are in their hometown.

#3. Aquarius

Aquarius, like Pisces, thinks of the common good before their own. These signs direct their actions towards a fairer humanity and won't rest until the most unfortunate people find peace.

Thus, it is common to find them doing charitable work, living in cooperatives, and working as a team for a common goal. This sign is not selfish and couldn't cares less about surpassing others in fame or profit. They honestly seek a more balanced and just world for all.

#4. Virgo

This earth sign is constantly looking for ways to help others and make things work better.

Although they are usually swamped, they find the time to help those in need in their neighborhood. Virgos make their food, clean where they stay and pass along a few bucks to ensure their well-being.

Virgo is not overtly demonstrative with their emotions, but they are very attentive to those who need help and don't think twice about lending a hand.

#5. Capricorn

Capricorns have often gone through tough challenges in their youth that have turned them into the firm and committed people they are today.

That's why they know all too well what it feels like to be helpless and endure the storms that a lonely and vulnerable home life brings.

So, they try to do charity work from time to time to avoid forgetting where they came from. This keeps them humble despite their current enormous success.

#6. Leo

Although they have a terrible reputation for being self-centered, Leo has a huge and generous heart! These signs can sometimes get lost in their little daily dramas, but that doesn't stop them from considering the less privileged.

The nice thing about Leo is that they don't plan their deeds. When they feel like giving something, they do it spontaneously, which often turns out to be very thoughtful gifts.

Leo has the spirit of a child who does what they feel and does not think too much about the motives. If at that moment, they feel like helping someone, they will unquestionably do it.

#7. Libra

Libra is a friendly and outgoing sign. It often hosts charity and fundraising events, which end up being the talk of the neighborhood.

They don't usually help those in need because they naturally want to, but because it's just another excuse to throw a party and show off their beautiful new outfits.

Even if the motives are not the best, the goal ends up being achieved and helps many people to improve their lives. In addition, Librans have a great sense of justice, and when they find that some people are living in unfavorable conditions for no particular reason, they can't help but pitch in to lend a hand.

#8. Sagittarius

Sagittarius is too busy enjoying thousands of adventures and basking in the blessings of life to think about people who are struggling.

Since these signs are so optimistic, they forget some people are going through tough times and need help to get by.

Of course, when they realize it, they give everything they have to support them, as these individuals are not stingy. They just need a little reminder from time to time to remember that some people are in a bad place.

#9. Scorpio

Scorpios do not like to be too exposed, especially with people they do not know. They prefer to remain in the dark, observing how society functions but avoiding too much involvement.

Besides, most of the time, they're caught up in their own struggles and don't have a very positive view of the world. So, there is not much point in trying to help.

When they decide to do charity work, they do it anonymously and do their best not to be seen.

#10. Taurus

Taurus invests too much in its luxuries and a comfortable lifestyle. They think that hard work is responsible for a good standard of living, and if we give away everything to people in need, they will never try to get back on their feet.

So, they spend their hard-earned money on their comfort and sharing with their loved ones. However, when a fellow friend needs assistance, they won't hesitate to lend a helping hand.

#11. Gemini

Gemini is somewhat oblivious to suffering in the world. They spend their time learning new skills, running all sorts of errands, and meeting new people.

These signs love to have fun, and when they have to face the harsh reality of some people, they don't know how to deal with it. So, they prefer to skip it and occupy their minds with other things to avoid getting depressed.

#12. Aries

Aries has an individualistic and assertive personality. These signs are constantly pursuing new goals, and the faster they can achieve them and move on to the next one, the better.

So, they don't have much time to do charity work, unless it is some kind of competition, they are participating in. If you challenge Aries to spend the most time doing charity work, they will do it just to show off their victory.

[crownofconvergencerp]

𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋

"death is no impediment to conversation."

Across the courts this time of year is known for many holidays, and yet all come down to one consistent experience. Across the continent this time is when the veil between the living and the dead becomes so thin that one may communicate with those long since lost - by their desire or by that of the spirit. For Destarin this is an especially vibrant time of year as each district and each person has their own unique way of celebrating. Many in Rochielles will cover the fronts of their homes in various harvest foods, some in Ashharren will make meals each evening for anyone who may have previously died in their homes, while those in Laras will pour wine on local trees as offerings. However one celebrates it is good to be cautious because though some who have passed are gentle souls, others can be full of vengeance and rage...

OOC Information Below...

MONTH OF THE VEIL EVENT INFO

Due to the hiatuses that have occurred we are postponing the continuation of the council arc until after the holidays.

For this event, and because of the hiatuses, we would suggest players potentially begin to close up older threads and maybe start new ones. This is up to players ultimately but could be good for refreshed energy across the dash.

This was the plot that was voted for by players for Halloween and is not specifically an event but rather a temporary environmental change for the month of October. While not a massive environmental change there will be decorations across the town and your characters are welcome to accidentally or purposefully encounter spirits.

The main holidays celebrated across the courts are as follows:

Withermore celebrates Halhain...similar to Samhain, those in Withermore tend to celebrate with harvest foods and bonfires. Many bonfires will have bones cast into them and outside homes offerings will be left for the dead. Many who are known to have killed will wear cloaks or masks during this time to hide themselves from vengeful spirits who intend to hunt down their killers. Cheridi celebrates Trakshaon...each evening for the month long period those in Cheridi will make a specific dish for those who have died in their homes. It is believed without dinner gifted each evening the spirit will become angry and bring misfortune to those inside, some have claimed to have their homes destroyed when they did not offer a meal to the spirits residing within. Crirtha celebrates Vearlia...Crirthan subjects tend to visit temples and gardens to offer gifts for those of their ancestry or of their belief who have passed. These gifts tends to be precious metals or expensive wines. It is believed without these offerings that the spirits will turn gold to copper, thriving trees to fruitless ones, and will force those who do not gift offerings into revealing hidden truths to 'spoil' their lives.

All traditions will differ based on region, species, age, and whatever other factors that may come to your character, so do not feel obligated to match the traditions listed above exactly or the traditions of other characters.

Event Date: 31st of October until the 30th of November. IC TIME: The month of November. OOC LOCATION: Dash. This event will be done on the dashboard not on discord. IC LOCATION: Across Destarin and the rest of the continent. PLOT IMPORTANCE: Low. This is designed for your characters to just have fun or perhaps further their personal plots.

Is the event mandatory? While the decorative environment change is mandatory, your character does not have to participate in offerings, or see any kind of ghost, or act any differently if they don't desire to.

Can we do anything in the discord for this event? We always have our tavern channel open, however we will not be doing a discord thread until at least half of the group is off semi-hiatus/hiatus.

If you have any other questions feel free to reach out to me!

[mania-sama]

love will get you slaughtered

Rose - The Oh Hellos

➼ information ❧ Genshin Impact ❧ Pairing: Hu Tao & Zhongli ❧ Tags: relationship discussion, asking to have a child with someone(???), consent discussion, hurt/comfort, angst, slight humor, completely sfw, nothing happens between them, their relationship is strictly protective and goofy ❧ Summary: The Geo Archon hadn't forgotten a single moment in his nation's history in the years that he's ruled it, yet he couldn't seem to remember the curse laid upon the Hu family until it was too late. ❧ Word Count: 2,619 ❧ Cross-posted from Archive of Our Own ❧ Original post date: 24 March 2022

Zhongli’s mortal life took time to adjust to. It was nothing short of a twist and turn everyday, with short bursts of normality every so often. He supposed it wasn’t so much of being human that was so different from being an archon. Rather, it was his job at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. He didn’t see the other men and women experience half the things he did on a daily basis, and he wasn’t sure if that was a curse or a blessing in disguise.

Such was a day when Hu Tao invited the ex-archon to a meal at Wanmin Restaurant. It was nothing too fancy, but Hu Tao usually couldn’t afford the more expensive meals. Neither could Zhongli, in fact he was grateful someone was willing to pay for him once again. It would seem that he still hadn’t fully grasped the concept of the mortals’ ‘cost of living,’ or so they called it.

Wistfully, he remembered a much simpler time when everything was paid in debts to one another. The land offered an abundance of supplies for communities to live and thrive off of. He remembered when it was a series of interconnected promises of help and favors that kept each and every person alive.

Even as Zhongli mused on his beloved nation’s past, he was still able to notice the slightly different behavior of the director. He could admit that the young woman was too eccentric by his standards, and she was able to push his buttons an incredible amount of times in the relatively short amount of time they knew each other. It was an amazing talent, but not one he appreciated. He didn’t consider himself to be a particularly impatient person. Maybe once, a long time ago, he was an imprudent and peevish god. However, his time as Rex Lapis, as Morax, had ended. It was time for the new era, the era of Zhongli, to walk the world.

That was why he asked Hu Tao what was bothering her after she ordered her and his food. A mortal could not waste time despising people because they were annoying and strange; they didn’t have that kind of time. He decided that he should make an effort to enjoy what time Hu Tao had left on Teyvat– possibly another sixty or so years– before the cycle of life and death caught up to her.

Hu Tao’s fingers rapped against the table for a moment as the young woman hesitated. This was definitely unlike her. Just as the rest of their lunch outing had gone, she carried that nervous energy around her. Zhongli couldn’t say he liked it very much. It would be one thing if it made her quiet, but it didn’t. All it accomplished was making him feel uncomfortable when she fidgeted or even blushed out of nowhere.

“Will you have sex with me?”

Zhongli could say, out of all his years as both adeptus and archon alike, he had never been more surprised than in that moment. His eyes widened a fraction as he retreated back into his mind to process what the young director had said. He had been asked a question like that before, but it had never been so soon after knowing someone. The concept of hookups was not foreign to him, he just never cared to engage in it with mortals. Besides the fact, the lead up was usually different and not as direct.

This was entirely unlike Director Hu Tao. She was a strange individual and she was not direct in phrasing. She usually masked her words to form some sort of enigmatic pattern to mimic that of a poem. To ask a person, as bluntly as she did, to have sex with her was extremely out of line. That wasn’t even to mention that Zhongli worked under her as an employee– Hu Tao wasn’t entirely professional most of the time, but she obviously cared deeply about her position and the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. It was highly uncivil to ask him something like this when their friendship hadn’t run deep to begin with.

Zhongli recovered from the shock as fast as he could. He would’ve thought about his answer for longer if he hadn’t taken into account how the young woman had been acting the whole day. She hadn’t seemed excited or more exuberant than usual, instead extremely nervous and embarrassed in the negative way. She gave off no signs that she really wanted what she asked.

“No.” He said finally. He thought the conversation would’ve ended there, but Hu Tao pressed on. She looked desperate. Desperate in the way that a beggar stole from a common citizen and prayed for redemption.

“Mr. Zhongli, surely you wouldn’t– I mean, look at you!” She gave her best smile, leaning forward against the table. It all looked so fake, so wrong. It was disturbing. “I’m sure girls have been throwing themselves at your feet begging for attention! Surely you wouldn’t mind giving me a go!”

Zhongli based off of his original human-esc form, the one he assumed when he was in his half-dragon half-human state of being. He obviously rid himself of the horns, pure black with golden specs scattered arms, the tail that poked out the back, as well as a few other attributes. He was told that the form was attractive, to put it in polite terms. Hu Tao’s statement wasn’t entirely incorrect. The last part she said, however, was false in every aspect.

The male undertaker leaned forward, but not in the same way Hu Tao did. “I will not take advantage of you so callously and thoughtlessly.” She made it seem like she was an object; expendable. She was anything but. “I can see the weight of the world crushing your shoulders, director. Why have you come to the conclusion that you are to be used like an everyday item?”

She hesitated. Her eyes dimmed, and her forced smile started to slip from her face. She pushed it back up, though she never appeared more desperate. “I’m not implying that! I simply thought this would be a great occasion for you, maybe just a one-off, or a constant partner if you like me!” She waved it off, leaning back. She let her arms fall beside her chair, shifting her body so more of it would be exposed to the company. Zhongli was uncomfortable with the actions, to say the least. She’d never been one to talk about anything under the general sexual umbrella, including comments on someone’s appearances being particularly attractive.

She was forcing herself to be this way. Something must’ve happened to her, but he couldn’t figure out what. In his long life, having sex with a mortal was inconsequential and not something to be particularly remarked on. He experienced wars, fought friend and foe alike, and shaped mountains from chaos. For the mortal across from him, the one staring at him like he was her last hope in a collapsing society, it could mean the entire world. From the way she was acting, it seemed as though her life depended on it.

“Hu Tao, I cannot and will not do this to you when you cannot give me an honest answer.” He didn’t want to do it even if she was sincere and truthful in her words. It wasn’t about him, though, so he didn’t mention it again. “If someone is hurting you or forcing you to do this, I will not hesitate to strike them down, director. It is quite clear to me that you don’t want to have sex, regardless it being me or any other civilian.”

He was close to breaking her, it seemed. Her eyes were beginning to shimmer, and her lower lip was quivering. He disliked going this way to get the answer he wanted. The director didn’t deserve the humiliation she was likely feeling. If there was truly a force behind her actions, which he was beginning to suspect was the case, then he decided he would tear them to shreds. He was by no means the archon he used to be. However, he was still a vision bearer. He was still an adeptus.

“You- you would produce a strong child! A strong,” she shoved a finger against her nose, tears threatening to fall down her face, “boy to inherit the Parlor.”

The problem showed itself immediately. The emphasis on the gender of the child, why she specifically wanted Zhongli out of all the humans in the harbor, and her insistence. She didn’t have a mother to speak of, and as she’d stated before, her father left her in the care of her grandfather when she was born. She didn’t talk of a grandmother, either.

Zhongli realized with abject horror that there was a curse upon her bloodline. It was a rather simple conclusion now that each individual fact was laid upon him. “I seem to understand now, Hu Tao.” The girl’s red eyes gazed at him with subdued curiosity and incredible panic. “You do not wish to have a child, or participate in the act of making one, yet you feel that you have to have a biological heir before your life is taken.”

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The ex-archon bore witness to the young director, forced to take a role much too soon, crying all of the tears she’d been desperately trying to hold back. He had never seen her cry, nor did he believe it was something she did often in neither public nor private. For however annoying and eccentric she may be, he respected her strength. It was incredibly disheartening to watch her as she sobbed.

“I’m so- so sorry, Mr. Zhongli.” She hiccupped into her hands that had moved to cover her face. “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean-” Hu Tao failed to continue her sentence. Her cries ultimately overtake her ability to speak, and Zhongli waited patiently. He silently motioned to the waiter to place their food on the table behind them so she would not be disrupted. Luckily, the mortal was competent and did as the undertaker asked.

He did not let his waiting go to vain. He searched his memories to find where he could remember such a curse being laid upon his own people. He understood that the first director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was native to the land of Liyue. She had died at a rather young age, and the inheritance went to her husband until her son was old enough to run the Parlor himself. She had never once mentioned a curse, though, not even in her divine communication to the Geo Archon.

It wasn’t an absence of his memory, Zhongli concluded. He had never forgotten anything in the many millennia he roamed Teyvat. He had never been informed of the curse in the first place, and the sudden and untimely deaths of the females of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor went unnoticed by Rex Lapis. He supposed that the era of Zhongli would change this constant.

Once she calmed down enough to where her cries were reduced to only tears and sniffles, Zhongli spoke calmly. “Dear director, there is no reason to apologize for actions you did not commit. Your reasoning justifies your ways, if you wish to see validation.” He breathed in, letting his chest point out in exaggeration of the simple action. He could see Hu Tao looking at him between the gaps of her fingers. His aim was to subtly guide the young woman into a better breathing pattern.

For the first time in what must’ve been ten minutes, she said quietly, “I don’t want to die.”

Time was cruel to humans. It passed on and dragged them along, no matter if they wanted to or not. It did not care if they were victims to an unruly fate. It continued on in a way that didn’t affect archons, and it was brutal about it. What was there to get done in such a short amount of time? That was something only a true mortal could answer. Zhongli would never know; his opportunity had long since passed for him. Hu Tao, out of all the mortals Zhongli was personally acquainted with, would know the answer best. She had already set a name for herself, outperforming even her late grandfather. She was a sight to behold.

Fate was cruel to everyone. Fate did not hold back even for the archons. Celestia trembled at the name, yet humans lived on without a care. With nothing else in their limitations, gods could only fear a small amount of things. Fate, in what would have been Rex Lapis’, and continuing on to Zhongli’s opinion, was at the top of that list. Humans already had enough to fear with their mortality; their predestined fate was the least of their concerns.

He could tell that she had attempted this life. She had succeeded in the beginning, and the effects of that success had shown in her numerous affairs in Liyue Harbor. However, it allowed her to gain her personality and become the goal-driven woman she was in the present day. Her pyro vision embedded into her coat was an obvious sign to that fact. It was unfortunate that she had to succumb to what every last molecule in the entirety of Teyvat would eventually be under as well.

“An heir does not have to be biological.”

Her head snapped up at this comment. Zhongli did not find the distress in her visage amusing. Her eyes practically begged him to continue while she tried to find her voice. Luckily, Zhongli had long since learned not to complain uselessly. “There is no contract in the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor that states an heir has to be physically born from the current director.” Zhongli may not be the God of Contracts, but he did retain the memory. He was aware of every contract made in his nation. This one would not have gone unnoticed.

Her eyes were still puffy, but there was a newfound hope lingering in her stare. “Do you really mean it, Mr. Zhongli? This would be a bad time to learn how to tell a joke.” There was that personality that he couldn’t understand. He refrained from letting a smile come to his face. Teasing that wasn’t forced. While it had been a nuisance to him before, he learned that it was something to miss when it was gone.

“I assure you, Hu Tao, pranks have yet to make it in my list of capabilities.” He said, going along with the joke, even when it left a bitter taste on his tongue.

She smiled, and it was unlike any of the others from the whole day. It wasn’t forced, and it reached her eyes. Her beautiful red eyes that were meant for someone who actually loved her to admire. Whoever she may choose, and if she may not choose at all, would definitely not be the man sitting in front of her. Zhongli was content with this information. He could wish nothing more for the young woman who normally caused nothing more than a headache for the ex-archon.

She rubbed her eyes, ridding herself of the remnants of the tears she cried. “Thank you, Mr. Zhongli. I don’t think I’ve ever said that to you before.”

She giggled at her own words. This time, the undertaker did allow himself to smile. “No need to thank me, Hu Tao. It is in the most simple decency to not take what is not rightfully mine.”

It was not a hard concept to understand, yet he supposed that if Hu Tao had gone to someone else, they would’ve taken her up on the offer. It horrified him to think about it. He turned his thoughts instead to the reality in front of him, where the young woman giggled again. The food behind him had long become cold, and some of the other consumers were giving them strange looks. He did not care, for he could not wait until he was once again irritated by the presence of the director.

[best-ghoul]

Are we lucky enough to hear about one of those OCs?

This one's a little against the premise, but I've got a pretty neat Legacy: Life Among The Ruins campaign going, tentatively named "Ragnarok Circlejerk", and I'll tell you the tale of my gal, a funky little critter named Yai-Isa-Nim.

I think she counts as a blorbo from my brain.

She's a nasty eldritch abomination called a Neth. The setting's post-apocalyptic and society ended as a result of an eldritch convergence humanity has interpreted as "Ragnarok", or simply the Fall. A horrible, branched entity-- the Wyrdtree breached into Earth, carrying with it a chaotic energy called Wyrd, which turned Earth into a nightmarish wasteland. Neth are mutated humans capable of thriving in the shattered landscape.

Their phenotype sorta looks like they've been hybridized with a reptile and some kind of eldritch insect-- resinous scales, prehensile tails, shining pink eyes with slit pupils, slime-dripping claws and digitgrade legs. They communicate with each other in clicks and trills.

Oh! They also purr.

Neth resemble no known animal, but instead are a kind of fully-realized genetic optimization project, a gestalt of numerous adaptations and runaway mutations. They can trace their origin to a genetic program run out of a Neo-Soviet gulag ,created in a prescient attempt to devise a labor force that would survive the coming Fall.

Horrifically, they succeeded: the Neth were left alone amid the chaos, and are now thriving: breeding teeming hives and lurking in the dark places beyond humanity's dwindling firelight.

Neth live underground in eusocial societies lead by a Tyrant-- Tyrants command the drudges, control the incubators and produce pheromones that give them some enhanced sway over other Neth. It's not quite mind control, more an animal magnetism that has to be accompanied with savvy rulership. Neth will rebel against an incompetent Tyrant, as we'll see with Yai.

Tyrants war with each other, and atrocity is a way of life-- cannibalism, slavery, and zero-sum wars of extermination are everyday occurrences. That said, the cruelty's not inborn but learned: the Neth are simply iterating on the brutal life their ancestors lived in the gulag.

While Neth have all the equipment to make babies the old fashioned way, they almost exclusively reproduce via incubation pods which turn humans into Neth, and dead matter into symbiotic "drudges", adorable little bipedal isopod-lookin fuckers, which I describe as "meat pikmin". Drudges work alongside the Neth as drones, sorta filling the slot of work animals.

For this reason, they make a habit of capturing humans (living or dead) to replenish their numbers, making them rightfully feared as enemies of civilization.

They're no drones, though: Neth all have their own personalities, and enjoy expressing their individuality and interior lives. They compulsively create art like humans do, and are particularly handy with their resin, and your average Neth is seen replete with charms, jewelry, and sculpted chitin, either homemade or sourced from skilled artisans, who're prized amongst the hive.

All that said, we can now understand our girl Yai:

Yai's a rebel tyrant, leading the newborn "Nim Hive". She staged an insurrection with her peers, and scored some royal jelly-- a genekit that promotes a garden-variety Neth to a Tyrant. Thus enhanced, she gathered her followers and drudges and bolted to found a new home.

Yai is, by Neth standards, a bleeding-heart. She likes humans, and rejects the policies of forced capture and enslavement that are common among her peers. Still, she is a Neth, and sees humans as squishy, weak, and unaccustomed to the wasteland. They're stubborn, using dated tech they plunder from the ruins, encase themselves in unreliable suits, and repeat the mistakes of the past in an attempt to cling to a way of life that has already failed.

To Yai, the logical thing would be to convert as many people as she can into Neth so they can prosper and survive in this new, strange world, but most humans aren't into it. This is where the other Tyrants would start capturing, reeducating, and converting any hominid they can catch, but since Yai's a softie, she's instead attempting to slowly forge bonds with humanity, understand their ways of living, and use Neth power to protect them.

In-game, the Neth are just one family at the table: Her bridge to connect with humanity is another player's family: a gang of kids who play a "game" that has some arcane connection to the beasts of Ragnarok, something the Isa Hive interprets as proof that humanity can adapt mentally, and adopt new techniques to exist within the wasteland, while the kids think the Neth are kinda cute and helpful. What kid doesn't want a monster pal?

These two factions exist alongside a company of the defunct Red Army, some raiders worshipping a lycanthropic mutant goddess-- a fork of the same mutagenic force that created the Neth, and the Concern, a secretive society of transnational black-ops who foretold the Fall, but were unable to stop it-- think XCOM crossed with the SCP organization. They also had a hand in making the Neth.

The factions are getting along pretty well right now-- trying to stop some bandits who fucked up a rite that called an eldritch entity, Kvasir, to bless them with sorcery. His "intoxicating blood" is presently polluting the fuck out of the homeland. Stay tuned to see how they handle that.

[skippygiraffee]

@beammeupbroadway brought me into hers and @tarmac-rat's discussion on our V's and their respective tarot cards, and I've given my analysis below >:3c

Val is both The Sun and The Moon. she's both at the same time, and can flip between either depending on the situation. which, I think makes sense for her connection to the celestial bodies and her whole journey as a person

at her worst, she's The Moon, someone who is insecure, who lies, who lives in a world of her own imagination and creation, all while avoiding the reality in front of her. warping her own experiences to create something that suppresses what she doesn't want to feel, adding to the sense that she'd rather run from her problems than face them. Val also thrives off of needing to feel like she's a part of something, and The Moon always feels so isolating to look at, so I think it's telling that she feels her worst when she's alone and left to try and figure things out without being able to reach out and ask for help (if she can bring herself to do so)

at her best, she's The Sun. she's warm, she's full of life, full of energy. she's absolutely bonkers, but I think that's why she's just beloved by the people who see beyond the walls she puts up. Val bounces between those extreme bouts of melancholy to just the absolute radiance of the sun, and she feels like she could grow plants in her hands or some shit. at her core, all she wants is happiness and bliss, and no matter what that's really what she strives for. she just loves the feeling of the sun, and I think at her best she also feels like it

not turning this into a tag game, but I think @lizzy--wizzy would love this conversation skdjskljf so tapping you in to check it out if anything <3

[wendyyyyyyyy]

᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵐʸ ˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ˢʰᵒʷᵉʳ ☆˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The fact that this all started with a twisted fate; a forbidden love where stars don’t even twinkle under the misalignment of such scale, nonetheless, the irony made their destinies collide and as clear as day, how could they stop their own hearts from beating so fast whenever they are close to each other?

The first time he saw her, he couldn’t even think straight about how much he wanted to make her disappear. Although he knew she was only a descendent, her clan was the cause of his pain, the reason to the death of his bloodline or his beloved family, that he would split grounds and go beyond the horizon to clean off each and everyone of her clan from planet Earth.

But little did he knew, she wasn’t into all that stuff. She longed for peace and harmony, but didn’t have the ability or authority to format it. Her mind was pure but it deemed her as a naïve little girl who thought everything could be savored by love as long as she thrived. They were on each edge of the spectrum.

The first time they spoke to each other, only the stubbornness broke through the roof with each party not willing to give up on their personal beliefs. He’d caught her in the heat of the battle, took her as a prisoner to their camp, and captured and chained every part of her body to make sure she couldn’t escape, and was planning to k•ll her off once he got any information out of the girl.

Turned out his plan was wavered and betrayed by his own heart. He still remembered how he’d tower over her meeky figurine, arms touching the wall on top of her head as he ruthlessly inflicted her pain in a way to cool of his steam until she shed tears. Despite it, her docile eyes would still look up to his own, glistening with bursts of hopes every time she saw him, telling him how much she wanted to end this and how much she could empathize with his sorrow.

Of course, her purity softened him over time.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɢʜᴛ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ꜱᴇᴀʀᴄʜɪɴ' ꜰᴏʀ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ.

She unknowingly casted a spell upon him, enchanting him to gracefully fall into her embrace. It was as if a small light at the end of the tunnel, camouflaged and left unnoticed at first, that gradually came into view and finally gave him a splash of colors.

ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ, ᴍᴀɴ, ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʀ���ᴀʟʟʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀɪɴ.

ʙᴜʀɪᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜱᴇʀᴛ, ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴅ ᴘᴜꜱʜ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪʀᴛ.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴꜱᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀꜰᴀʟʟ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ.

His perspective was slowly shifting, settling in a form where he was starting to see her as his muse than his mortal enemy. She channeled her energy into him, making him forget about his agony he’d been long felt all his life. She was his rain when his pain was the root of the drought as he was about to bloom.

ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜱᴜʀᴘʀɪꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ.

ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʀɪɢʜᴛ, ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴍɪꜱꜱɪɴ' ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ.

ᴀꜱ ʙʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜɴ, ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠɪᴛᴀᴍɪɴ ᴅ.

He was feeling addicted to the way she would caress his face with such delicate fingers or how they gently brush through his locks as they share their reciprocity of love and lust combined. They were each other’s definition of heaven, missing piece, or ray of sunshine.

ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ʀᴜɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴅɪᴍᴇɴꜱɪᴏɴ.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ᴏɴ ᴅʀᴜɢꜱ.

He’d hid her in the midst of his crowds, just to make sure she was safe for this was a love that shouldn’t have existed.

“What if we forged our identities and start living in a secluded place by ourselves?” She’d always come up with the most unrealistic yet, wishful ideas that he wondered if such opportunity actually existed, it didn’t matter if it were them even jumping into a different dimension.

“You are my ecstasy,” her dreaminess would swallow him whole every time he was near her, that he started to believe she was the only drug to calm down his demons.

ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴄʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴ' ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴋᴇᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴏɴ ᴀ ꜱᴛᴏᴠᴇ.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʀᴀɴᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴛ ᴜᴘ, ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴄᴏʟᴅ,

ᴍʏ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴍᴏʟᴅ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ.

ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ᴀɴɢᴇʀ, ꜱᴀᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ, ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛ ᴅɪꜱᴀᴘᴘᴇᴀʀᴇᴅ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴍᴀᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ.

ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴛʀᴜᴇ.

He used to be a notorious General, someone with mighty authority who could provoke wrath in his path merely for the disdain and hatred that had deeply carved their taste into his life. It was of course, until ‘she’ happened to him. Before her, he was a mindless voyager, desperately aiming for the unknown directions in the hopes of finding salvation, that he never expected her to be his North Star. The feeling was overwhelmingly foreign for he’d never felt such overflowing, fleeting water love.

ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ

ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴏɴ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.

He’d always refer her as his ray of sunshine which ultimately made her his necessity to grow. He used to think love was out of the question, since his life had always been a difficult one with nothing but only plotting and seeking revenge. It was as though the universe itself gave him a chance to make a change of heart, to continue with her until his last breath.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴘꜱ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ꜰɪᴛ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛ ɪɴ ᴍᴇ.

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀ ꜱʜᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʟɪɢʜᴛ ɪ'ᴅ ᴅᴇᴠᴏᴜʀ

ᴀɴʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ.

ʙᴀʙʏ, ᴄʟᴇᴀɴꜱᴇ ᴍᴇ.

They both knew that they were going in for a prohibited love. That it could not be seen, heard or found at all cost because as cliche as it may be, they were their own versions of Romeo and Juliet. She was his rain and sunshine, that he’d just hurriedly put his entire life on the line just to protect her. Because, she changed him, ever so gradually but was powerful enough to give him tranquility.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

____________

𝐼𝓃𝓈𝓅𝒾𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓃𝑔 “𝐿𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇” 𝒷𝓎 𝑀𝑒𝓁𝒶𝓃𝒾𝑒 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓏.✿

(idk why i even wrote it but oh well :3)

[xl012v]

Vent

I just think if she let me be completely in control we wouldn’t have Any issues. I feel like she just cant live or function without me because after we left each other she only got worse. And its possible this is true because we were very codependent on each other. I should WANT to see her thrive on her own and be independent but instead I feel abandoned

I feel like if she just let me think for her and decide who she should associate with, she’d be better off. I know logically though that I’d just be hindering her progress as a Good Human Being. She needs to learn from her mistakes. And the proof of that is just that after all this I’ve realized she has zero conflict resolution skills and maybe it’s because I’ve sheltered her for so long. I think shes responsible for herself and her actions but I wonder if I had some part in this

She just confuses me so much because I’m willing to stay with her even if she hurts me and shes said she wants to and I’d literally give her everything shes ever wanted if she just stayed with me. I’d improve myself I’d let her abuse me but the moment I make one mistake and promise to do better shes got her foot out the door already. I wish there was someone in this world who would forgive me for all I’ve done and just love me as I am. I just want a second chance honestly, but I’ve accepted I wont ever be getting that.

Shes taken advantage of my bpd and my willingness to give up all autonomy but then when she offers to take verbal abuse ONCE and I tell her I wont be verbally abusing her, I’m suddenly the bad guy. We were both given the chance to take advantage of each other at some point in this relationship, and yet she was the only one out of the both of us who actually took that chance to do it. Then she even tried to blame me as if me being hurt by her was my fault. I’m just too easy to take advantage of. This is why dating someone who doesn’t understand bpd pisses me off. I eventually came to my senses and told her off but yeah she blamed me, and it was nearly impossible to get her to apologize

Every time I put her on a pedestal I have to remind myself that she isnt as kind or caring as I remember her to be. I’ve given her everything and I gave up all my money and energy and time and privacy to her. To the point where I didnt have any friends after exiting a relationship with her. Even a month or two after we broke up I spent almost $200 on her and she was still acting like a brat about it and almost COMPLAINING that I wasnt satisfying her still. I’m fucking insane I don’t know what my issue is

I feel like everything would be okay if she just stayed with me but I know it isnt true. She needs to be on her own for a bit. Shes too immature for me and I even think some of her personality traits are Extremely unattractive. To the point where I’m nearly traumatized by people like her (Mostly just people who refuse to communicate properly, I already had trauma with this because of autism but shes made it ten times worse). Now I think people who can’t communicate or make decisions are unattractive and they even scare me. I feel like I might accidentally hurt them and never know. But I wonder why shes been so bad with our falling out. Why and how have I handled it so well? I can only guess that I’m just used to having to move on quickly from hurting and being hurt. I hate these feelings so I focus more on conflict resolution and finding solutions so I can make all the pain stop. I think if I was able to feel guilt the same way a neurotypical did, I would’ve killed myself by now