#endless count of favorites
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Watanabe : Epitaph
Fire - Tank - S Rank
â | Endless Count of Favorite Characters
#mygifs ;#mygifs ; pgr#pgr#punishing gray raven#gaming#endless count of favorites#watanabe epitaph#pgr watanabe#watanabe pgr
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Huge huge huge fan of this very niche trope that I don't see NEARLY enough of! When the whumpee has the ability to reincarnate/revive to a state of perfect health, but no healing abilities, and so - when things come to a head and whumpee is mortally wounded, they're resigned to the fact that it would just be easier to die and come back. But - but don't you see??? How devastating would it be for their teammates to be desperately doing everything they can to keep whumpee alive? How traumatizing it would be for them when whumpee pries their bloodied hands off so they will hurry up and die, so the pain will stop? How sickening it would be when whumpee tells them that everything's fine, to let them go? How awful would it be for whumpee if their team refuses to let them go without trying everything in their power, which just prolongs whumpee's suffering?
Yeah? Got that in your brain?
Now imagine that again, but their teammates don't have any idea that whumpee can come back.
#BOOM#!!!!#one of my favorite tropes tbh#emotional whump#whump prompt#whumpee#caretaker#whump writing#medical whump#whump scenario#whump tropes#whump#tw: death#tw: blood#tw: suicide#i guess it counts#srsly soooo much can be done w/ this trope#the side effects are endless too tbh#not to mention the very real fear of 'what if they don't come back this time?'#fic/book suggestions HMU!!!!
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e7f3ee0f32985372d17a16d2f0d101c3/deccf50f96ad0c17-ef/s540x810/6c872b7c85472c4d6106804bfd836365215b4361.jpg)
@ younger self, it's mr all-in and ms summer-scent doing a movie with mr lady-vengeance. đĽš
#son yejin#lee byung hun#i didnt enjoy ss as much as i did ai and lv but it is my favorite among the endless love drama series which is notorious for PAIN#so it counts#park chan wook
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but daddy i love him | đŹđŁđ˛
ŕ¨ŕ§ pairing: sim (jake) jaeyun x fem!reader ŕ¨ŕ§ word count: 10.2k ŕ¨ŕ§ genre: fluff, angst, smut ŕ¨ŕ§ tags: badboy!au, innocent!reader, opposites attract, sexual tension, corruption kink, dirty talk, fingering, oral (m + f receiving), 69, pet names (baby, angel, etc.), face sitting, protected sex. ŕ¨ŕ§ synopsis: Just because there's a new and seemingly bad influence in your small town, it doesn't mean you have to fall privy to his charms, no matter how beautiful he is. But when he takes notice of you, none of the gossiping wine moms can stop him from getting what he wants. ⸠shoutout to @kwanisms and @mini-mews for helping this fic come to fruition, ily guys sm and this is genuinely one of my favorite pieces ive ever written aaa.
âHave you heard about the new family who moved into town? The son is a real piece of work!â
âHeâs twenty-one but acts like heâs still sixteen on that damn motorcycle. No class or consideration whatsoever!â
âMaybe theyâll keep him in check if they decide to come to church this weekend. You know Reverend Park has no time for miscreants and delinquents.â
The familiar crowd on your motherâs front porch greets you as youâre attempting to exit the house. They cool themselves off with their makeshift fans and drink your motherâs homemade lemonade in the Saturday sun, continuing to harp on the locals in town that theyâve known for years.
Somewhere in their conversation, they drifted to the topic of the new family that moved in across the street. Three days was all it took for them to begin spouting their judgemental observations, every act from the new middle-aged couple and their son fodder for their discussion.
You smile politely with every fiber of your being, despite your instincts to snap at them and be on your merry way. If only they knew how ironic they are, pointing fingers at others from their high horses when the town kept enough space for their dirty little secrets. âNice to see you this morning, ladies.â
They say your name with grace, their tones all air with little substance. âOn your way to bible study?â Mrs. Choi asks, gazing at you from the rim of her glass.
You shake your head. âJust tutoring.â
âWith the Nishimura boy? What a sweet kid.â When Rikiâs name leaves Mrs. Leeâs lips, all the women hum in agreement. âSuch a bright future ahead of him.â
âOf course, as long as he passes English,â you joke. The womenâs faces donât change, not taking your teasing with an ounce of anything but seriousness. The bags under their eyes, lipstick smudged in the tiny corners of their teeth, and piercing attitudes begin to damper your excitement for the day. You bid them goodbye quickly with another smile, walking down the stairs and onto the path down the street.
As you turn down the sidewalk, still hearing the resounding chatter from the women, your thoughts run wild. Is this what life would be like when you were older, doing nothing but kicking your feet up on a neighborâs porch with only other peopleâs business to fill your time? Spending endless days and nights at church, listening to the same sermons leave Reverend Parkâs lips until you become as overly critical as they all are?
The screech of tires halts your thoughts in their place. âWatch it!â A young manâs voice pierces the morning air, making you step back even further. You hadnât realized how far you had walked into the road until you were back on the safety of the sidewalk. You trip on a crack between the two slabs of concrete, falling backwards and meeting the ground hard.
âShit, are you okay?â He takes his helmet off, immediately hooking it to his handlebars to check on you.
Sim Jaeyun.
You had not met him formally until this moment, but the motorcycle and undeniable looks gave away his status as your new neighbor. Your parents had decided to let the new family settle in before trying to visit and introduce themselves. If they could see you now, your maxi skirt hitched up to your knees and the boy barely a foot away from you, they would have had a field day.
Sure, you both are of age. Butlike Mrs. Choi, Mrs. Lee, and other local townsfolk always do, people will talk about such a compromising position if you arenât careful.
All those thoughts fade away though when Jake kneels beside you, his face flooded with concern. His eyes linger on the broken skin on your legs and then across your flushed face. âDoes it hurt?â
You shake your head. âItâs barely a scratch. Sorry I almost ran into you.â
âMore like almost ran into my bike.â He laughs, his expression one of relief as well as humor. âIâm just glad youâre in one piece.â
âThank the lord.â You brush your hands on your skirt and begin to stand up, but Jake grabs you by the hand to help, taking all your weight with him.
âThank you,â you say, brushing the free hair from your braid out of your face.
âYouâre welcome.â He unclips his helmet from the bar and gestures back to his bike. âI can drive you to wherever youâre going if you want. I donât have a second helmet, butââ
You canât help the laugh that escapes your lips, the thought of riding on the back of a motorcycle too ridiculous to envision given your status as the deaconâs daughter. What would people say?
Jake just furrows his brows, his lips turning up at the corners. âIs my offer that funny?â
âNo,â you say, âI would love to, itâs justââ
âSim Jaeyun!â The shrill sound of Mrs. Choiâs voice makes you take another step away from Jake, unaware you were as close as you were to him. His presence seems to be magnetic, just like his smile. âStay away from her or so help me God!â
Jake turns to the old woman down the road and nods his head, trying to be respectful but clearly irritated from her meddling. âYes maâam,â he yells, stepping back and getting closer to his bike.
âMaybe another time,â Jake says, âwhen youâre not flocked by the whining wine moms.â
You laugh and nod. âMaybe.â
Jake rides away on his bike, the wispy ends of his hair your last picture of him before he makes a sharp turn at the end of your street.
âWhy do I need to learn this?â Riki groans, laying his head flat against his desk. The church bells ring as he knocks his head in the same rhythm against the polished wood.
âBecause you need to be able to interpret text if you want to go off to college, Nishi. Otherwise youâll be illiterate and an embarrassment to the entire town!â You put on your best harping, disapproving voice. It makes Riki laugh as he lifts his head. Youâre glad at least the younger kids appreciate your sense of humor, unlike the older brood flooding your hometown.
âAlright, fine.â He opens his copy of Heart of Darkness, beginning to read the page in front of him. âI avoided a vast artificial hole somebody had been digging on the slopeâŚâ
A knock on the classroom door makes you and Riki turn. Yeri opens it with a shy grin, saying your name with the same nature. âSomeoneâs here to see you!â
âWho?â
âSome cute guy on a motorcycle? But donât tell Jungwon I said that!â She runs back out the door and leaves you puzzled. Surely itâs not Jake. You just met him; he wouldnât make the effort to try and follow you to your tutoring session, especially at the church of all places.
You head to the window to see Jake sitting against his bike, looking around at his surroundings. Heâs wearing the same leather jacket and gray jeans, his white shirt marked with several spots of sweat. Riki comes up behind you, making a sound of acknowledgement. âOh, thatâs Jake!â
âJake?â You look closer. âI thought his name was Jaeyun.â
âYeah, but I call him Jake.â He laughs. âHeâs my cousin.â
You nod your head, taking in his words. Jakeâs sudden move made a lot more sense, seeing as Rikiâs mother was getting sicker every day. She must have needed some help from her family to not only manage her household, but make sure Riki stayed on track.
âHe probably wants to see you. Yeri mustâve gotten it all mixed up.â
Riki grabs his phone, scrolling through texts with his thumb. âActually, he did mention almost running over a cute girl on his way to work.â The young boy smirks. âIâm gonna assume thatâs you?â
You blush, the flush on your cheeks making you feel hot. âWhatever. Heâs probably just picking you up!â
âI brought my own bicycle, dude. And as cool as Jake is, his driving makes me nauseous.â Riki begins packing up his belongings on the desk as you wonder what Jake would want to say that hadnât already been said earlier. Surely he had no interest in talking to you beyond another apology for almost killing you earlier, not that you would have noticed.
As your thoughts continue on, you barely hear Rikiâs parting words. âHave fun making out with my cousin!â
You venture outside and are greeted to Jakeâs soft smile as he looks you over. âDidnât expect you to be teaching my cousin how to read.â
You laugh. âWhen would that have come up? Before or after I fell face-first on the sidewalk?â
âTechnically, you fell on your ass.â He looks over the cuts on your leg again. âStill doesnât hurt?â
âBarely remember it.â
âDamn. Didnât realize I was so forgettable,â he teases. You shuck your backpack over your shoulder, pretending his joke didnât land. But you canât help how your mouth curves into a grin. âWanna take me up on that ride now? I donât see any wine moms in sight.â
Being clear headed and not in the midst of a compromising position, you take a better look at Jake. He may look rugged from the neck down, muscles standing out through his jacket, but his face is incredibly youthful and vulnerable without a touch of hardness. Maybe the wine moms had gotten it wrong; maybe Jakeâs actually a stand-up guy bundled up in a lot of leather.
Before you can answer, your father seems to appear from thin air. He wraps his arm around your shoulder. âMr. Sim, pleasure to meet you officially.â
Your father holds out his hand for Jake, and Jake takes it with a steadfast grip. âNice to meet you too sir. My mother was telling me how much youâve been helping my aunt since she canât attend services anymore.â
âAkemi is a pillar of our church. Itâs only right to take care of one of our own as the deacon.â Your father squeezes you tighter to his side. âGlad to see you and my daughter have met. I hope sheâs made a good impression upon you.â
âYes sir. Very much so.â He smiles in your direction. The dimple in his cheek makes your heart flutter in your chest, the butterflies undeniable.
âWell, please tell your parents to come to ours soon for dinner. It would be a pleasure.â Your father begins the quick walk to his car, the silent request for you to follow him clear in his stern posture. You give Jake an apologetic smile before you leave, hoping your eyes hold the promise of taking him up on that ride someday.
When youâre both out of earshot and in the confines of your fatherâs car, he turns to you with a frown. âDo not get yourself involved with that boy. He doesnât strike me as very forthcoming.â
You stutter out an excuse. Surely the first day of knowing Jake wouldnât be the last. âF-Fatherââ
âListen to me, sweetie. I know what Iâm talking about.â He starts the car and begins the drive home, tightening his fists on the steering wheel. âI mean it. Do not see that boy again.â
The next morning, youâre sitting in one of the front pews with your mother, Yeri, and her mother. You see your fellow townsfolk in attendance in the other pews, Jungwon being one of them, Yeriâs longtime boyfriend. Mrs. Choi and Mrs. Lee look like they are partially focused on the attendees, but also on their own gossip.
All of you are dressed in your best outfits, your hair wrapped in a bun to maintain the peak of modesty. It doesnât seem particularly realistic for a higher power to be judging you for your hairdo, but you gave in to your motherâs ridiculous requests as always. âWe are important people in this community, darling,â your mother said as she stuck the umpteenth bobby pin in your hair. âIf they canât trust us, who can they trust?â
Riki sits behind you, his pew empty save for him. When you offer the empty spot next to you before the procession starts, he shakes his head. âJake and his folks will be here any second.â
Your gut tightens, the words of your father playing over in your head. You know you have to heed his orders at all times, but the excitement you feel at the prospect of seeing Jake is unavoidable.
A minute before your childhood friend Heeseung sits at the piano to play the beginning of How Great Is Our God, Jake and his family walk inside. Jakeâs impeccably dressed, clad in a red dress-shirt and suit pants. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, revealing a handful of tattoos you didnât notice the day prior. He has his motherâs arm in one hand and a bible in the other, looking completely out of place but incredibly mesmerizing.
He winks at you when he sits down, making you turn your head back to your friend at the piano. You follow in your motherâs and Yeriâs lead, singing alongside them and forgetting the new buzz in your veins. You can feel his eyes on you throughout the songs and sermons, and you should say that you donât enjoy it, but you don't kid yourself. His attention makes your body tingle in all the right and wrong ways.
You excuse yourself in the intermission, walking outside until youâre a good ten paces away from the church. You take several pins out of your hair, grunting. The incessant tools had been scratching your scalp uncomfortably for the past three hours, and it feels like freedom taking them out one at a time.
It isnât that you donât believe in a higher power or the teachings your father and Reverend Park have supplied you with your entire life. The town is just too suffocating on days like these, setting you up to feel like you arenât good enough no matter how hard you try every day to perfect yourself.
The fashion show of your humble, presentable outfit, the whispered chatter from your community, the watchful eyes of holy men. They all make your skin crawl, that itch only intensifying with every day that passes. How could you stay in such a small room for years and feel misunderstood by everyone?Â
Jake saunters up to you, making you gasp in surprise. âJesus Christ!â
He smirks, hands stuffed in his pockets. âI thought you werenât supposed to say his name in vain.â
You shrug, smiling in relief to find itâs just him and nobody else. No-one to meddle, judge, or question your absence. âIâll just say a few words of penance. Iâm sure heâll forgive me.â
âI knew there was a reason I liked you.â Jake chuckles and steps closer to you, his eyes lingering on your dress. Itâs incredibly modest, the only skin showing high above your cleavage. but the look in his eyes still makes your nerves tremble.
 You wonder what thoughts are swimming in his head and if a majority of them are impure. Would it be so wrong to confess that you feel the same? That whatever heâs imagining mirrors your own fantasies ten times over?
âThe updo doesnât suit you,â he says finally.
You giggle and cross your arms. âIt doesnât, huh?â
He steps closer, so close you can feel his breath on your skin. It lingers across your neck and shoulder blades. You shudder, hoping he doesnât notice how his presence affects you. He reaches behind you and takes hold of the hair tie keeping your bun together. He expertly undoes it, your hair falling in waves around your shoulders.
Before he walks away, the church bells signaling the recommencement of the procession, he whispers in your ear, âMuch more breathtaking with your hair down, angel.â
The next time you see Jake, heâs across from you at your familyâs dinner table, all laughs with Jungwon and Yeri as your father passes out the rest of the side dishes. Riki is also there, discussing his motherâs treatment with your mother and Jakeâs parents.
You canât help the way your eyes attach to Jake across from you. Itâs almost a form of punishment that you were made to sit in such close proximity, the weight of his stare on you swallowing you whole.
The feeling of his hand in your hair, his mouth against your earâit was all so incredibly inappropriate. You shouldnât have thought about that day last week with such excruciating frequency, but you did. You thought about it when you heard the wine moms whispering about Jake on your porch, when Yeri and Jungwon talked about him as you studied, and when you were alone at night.Â
In your dreams, it was even more painful. In a perfect world, he would take his hand from your hair and keep it on your neck, holding you close. He would move his lips from the shell of your ear to the side of your neck, kissing and tasting what skin was available to him in that moment to make you come undone.
Yes, sitting across from him is torment. But the alternative is worse, not seeing him at all and having to conjure images of him alone in the quiet of your bedroom.
âDeacon, sir,â Jungwon pipes up from his spot next to Jake, addressing your father directly. âI was going to study with Jaeyun and Yeri at my house if you wouldnât mind your daughter tagging along.â
The muscle in your fatherâs jaw clenches. Heâs clearly unhappy with one of the attendees being Jake, but he hides it behind a smile. âItâs up to her. What do you think, sweetie?â
On one hand, you should absolutely say no. Jake may take you into a random spot of Jungwonâs house and make any resolve you still have disappear with the flick of his wrist. Even in the company of your friends, you know no place is safe when heâs around and close to you. And were you willing to crumble so easily?
At the same time, the distance is eating away at you. You canât take another charged glance in your direction, words unspoken but begging to be released. If you have to catch his bedroom eyes on your body one more time, you may just snap in front of everyone, and care little when you do.
âSure. Iâd love to, Wonie,â you say with a grin. âNishi, you want to come too?â
Riki shakes his head, enjoying the fruitcake your mom set out. âIâll stay. Someone has to help clean up.â Jakeâs mom squeezes one of his cheeks. Rikiâs face suddenly turns pink from his auntâs affection, making everyone laugh.
On your way out the door, your father catches you by the arm. He whispers, âNo later than midnight. Understood?â
On the cusp of 10 PM, you want to protest that time with your friends is already so limited, but you obey with a nod and walk out the door.Â
When you get in the backseat of Jungwonâs car, Jake too comfortable beside you, you feel your body flicker to life. âSo,â you say, âyour house then, Won?â
Yeri and Jungwon laugh, a conspiratory look in both of their eyes. âWeâre just gonna make a quick stop first.â
Kiss ��Em Creek was the unofficial name of the lake that ran through your town, a spot for teenagers to spend a few hours alone with their friends or partners. It wasnât scientifically-correct, but it stuck nonetheless, many of the locals taking advantage of the not-so-secret hideaway. What went on there you only heard about through Yeri and the wine momsâ conversations, their voices littered with disappointment and condemnation.
Jungwon parks his car and turns his eyes to meet yours in the rearview mirror, that scheming smile still playing on his lips. âReady to take a dip?â
Your eyes widen. You shake your head at a rapid pace, making your friends and Jake chuckle. âNo way,â you say.
âCâmon babe, live a little!â Yeri winks and exits the car, Jungwon hot on her heels. The two of them begin to strip to their underwear, eager to jump in the water together. Jungwon picks her up in a bridal carry, Yeri laughing the entire way as he takes the first step into the awaiting lake.
As the two lovebirds continue heading towards the water, you and Jake sit in comfortable silence, your heartbeat slowly rising at the prospect of being alone in the car together. No distractions, no disappointed parents, no judgemental hags. Just the two of you under a cloud of stars and beautiful moonlight.
âI didnât know if you would come tonight,â Jake says, filling the silence with a quiet chuckle. âThought you were avoiding me at all costs, like Iâm some kind of plague.â
âNo!â You turn in your seat to face him. His expression is teasing but holds undercurrents of disappointment, clearly confused where your feelings lie. And he has every right to feel that way. One minute youâre wishing he would pull you closer, and the next you feel itâs better he keeps his distance. âI just donât know what your intentions are.â
His eyes darken and his lips curve into a beautiful but intimidating smile. âIs it not obvious?â
You squeeze your thighs together, a wave of heat spreading through your bones. âMaybe I just want you to say it out loud.â
He scoots closer to you, his chest a heartbeat away from yours. âWell, to start,â he says, âI would really like to kiss you.â
You smile. A breathless laugh leaves your lips, eager to know what it would feel like to touch his mouth to yours. âIâd like that too.â
Jake runs a hand through your hair and rests it on your cheek. His touch is as fragile as the tension between you. âThen what are you so afraid of?â
You shut your eyes, trying to come up with the right words and falling short. âItâs just everyoneââ
âFuck everyone else.â He forces you to look into his eyes, the words leaving his mouth being some of the truest ones youâve ever heard in your life. âYouâre not a bad person or a sinner for wanting what you want.â
âI know that.â
âYou may know it but you donât believe it.â Jakeâs lips ghost over yours, his breath tickling your cheeks. âStop thinking about what everyone else thinks of you. Think of yourself for once.â
Maybe Jakeâs right. All of your choices in life have been dictated by what your parents, friends, and total strangers have felt. If you listened to your own heart, you would have left all of them in the dust by now, chasing what you really wanted far away from this place.
At the same time, youâre glad to be in this car with Jake. Heâs so close to you, telling you to take the leap and choose yourself for the first time in a long time.
When you press your lips to his, the feeling of his mouth on yours soft and tentative, you know you canât wake up tomorrow the same person. This choice will ripple into all the choices you make from this moment on, but you donât seem to care.
All that matters is his mouth, taking more control and setting a fire deep in your belly. He presses his tongue to the juncture of your lips, diving inside without protest.
You moan into his mouth, feeling one hand firmly pressed on your neck as the other runs down your shirt to squeeze at your breast through your clothes.
âFuck, tell me to stop,â Jake says with a heady whisper, still kneading your breast with his palm. âTell me to stop if you donât want this.â
You shake your head, moving closer to him to the point youâre halfway on his lap, legs intertwined with his. âSo help me God, donât stop now.â
He snickers, pecking your lips again. âYou said his name in vain again.â
You roll your eyes as he chuckles into your neck. âThat wasnât the first thing on my mind.â You move your lips to his cheek. âOr the second.â They trail down to his neck, taking your fantasies and etching them into his skin. âOr third.â
âFuck,â Jake curses, holding you tight against him. âYouâre too good at this.â
You smirk. âContrary to popular belief, youâre not the first person Iâve ever kissed.â
He laughs, the rumble of it vibrating against your mouth. âI donât care as long as you keep kissing me.â
âWasnât planning on stopping.â By the time you reattach your mouth to his, youâre straddling his lap. His hands are nestled on the small of your back, wanting to inch down further but unsure where or what your boundaries are.
You take the initiative, suddenly bold, and put both of his palms on your backside. âIf you wanted to touch my ass, you couldâve just said so.â
Jake licks his lips, his accent coming out in a husky whisper. âI want to touch you in a lot of places. Your ass just happens to be easily accessible right now.â
âOh really?â You giggle. âCare to enlighten me?â
Jake sharply switches positions, your back against the expanse of the backseat as he towers over you. He rubs his hands across the outside of your thighs, eager but patient. âGladly.â
He kisses your neck, suckling and licking with perfect pressure, making you whimper. âJaeyun,â you say out loud, his name coming out like a question more than a statement.
âUse your words, angel. Tell me what you want.â His eyes pass over your face, your kissable lips and lust-blown irises. Youâre too entrenched in him now to walk away from this car the same girl, and you wouldnât want it any other way.
It may end badly, crash and burn completely like everyone expects it to, but thatâs the last thing you care about right now.
âI want you to touch me.â You take one of his hands on your thighs and place it over your underwear, its center damp.
âJesus,â he says in wonder, rubbing his fingers against the cotton.
âYou just said���oh,â you stop short when you feel Jakeâs fingers against your clit. The sensation makes you buck your hips up into him, him discovering the bundle of nerves without trying hard. Heâs clearly happy at the wetness he finds. He rubs your folds in the same fashion, biting down on his bottom lip hard.
âYou feel so good already. So perfect,â he whispers, taking hold of your lips again with his own while he swirls his fingers in and around your essence. He switches between teasing your clit and rubbing along your pussy, his movements lewd yet graceful. Only when he puts a finger inside of you do you gasp and look at him directly, your eyes clearly giving away your fear.
âWhatâs wrong, angel? Did I do something?â Concern floods his face, but he doesnât take his hand away.
âIâve never gone this far,â you confess, looking to your side to hide your embarrassment.
âHey, look at me.â He turns your head to face him again, fingers laying under your chin softly. âWe can stop now if you want. I donât want you to feel pressured into doing anything you donât want to do.â
His response makes your heart clench. Most guys, youâd imagine, would be pissed off or pleading with you to continue on, to do what they wanted and enjoy the moment. That was how Jongseong was, pouting the entire time after you told him to pump the brakes on your makeout sessions.
Somehow, with Jake, it feels right to continue. You suddenly have no anxiety clouding your thoughts or expectations weighing on your heart. You kiss his lips tenderly and shake your head. âNo, I want this. I want you.â
A cheshire-cat grin spreads across his face before he goes in for another kiss. He runs his tongue along the inside of your mouth as his finger slides across your folds once again. He plunges it deep inside of your heat, your body adjusting to the new sensation with surprising ease.
You thrash lightly underneath him, matching the tempo of his finger with abandon. He slips another digit in, groaning at the feeling of your soft, gummy walls becoming accustomed to him. âYouâre taking my fingers so well, angel. âS fucking incredible.â
You gasp and feel the fire from earlier heightening in intensity, spreading from your belly into the other seams of your body. It makes your toes curl and your hand press against one of the doors of Jungwonâs car, needing something to clutch onto while feeling yourself losing whatâs left of your control.
âJaeyun, I think Iââ
âI know baby,â he says, pressing his lips to your forehead. âYouâre going to feel so good in a second, I promise. Donât be afraid.â
His thumb makes contact with your neglected clit, rubbing in rapid motions as he pumps his fingers faster in and out of you. You suddenly become overloaded with pleasure; its immensity is something youâve never felt before. You feel it coat the back of your mouth and take whatâs left of your rational senses, your body moving on its own accord as you ride out whatâs remaining of your orgasm.
You blush furiously when you come back down to earth, giggling like a schoolgirl as Jake kisses your sweat-drenched cheek. âThat wasâŚamazing.â
Jake chuckles, a smirk painting his features. âYouâre amazing.â
You tuck your face in your hands, embarrassed but still enraptured by what you just experienced. He pulls one hand away, taking it in his own, his expression suddenly shy. âSo, I guess this is the part where I ask you on a proper date.â
You laugh and sit up, placing your panties back around your hips and adjusting your skirt. âI would hope so!â
Jungwon and Yeri choose that moment to run back into the car, their hair drenched but their bodies properly dressed once again. Jungwoon looks at the two of you in the backseat and grimaces. âNot in my car, man!â
Despite the warnings from your parents and the wine moms, you and Jake had become inseparable within a monthâs time. It took many late-night impromptu meetings and secret rendezvous to keep your relationship private, but you had succeeded thus far. And it only made the moments you both shared that much more special.
Riki had kept your secret, keeping his eyes out for any prying townsfolk and covering for his cousin and you if need be. Yeri and Jungwon also cheered you on from the shadows, hoping one day you could be public like they were without criticism.
Sitting in the field near the lake, a picnic blanket set across the grass, you have your head in Jakeâs lap while he absentmindedly turns strands of your hair into miniature braids. Itâs a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, the two of you occupying the resounding forest with no outside influences.
âHave I told you lately how beautiful your hair is?â Jake asks, kissing your forehead before he takes another batch of strands in his hand. If he has to pick one of your best attributes, in his words, heâd say it was a tie between your lips and your hair, the two of them constantly making his heart race. You called him a liar, but as time revealed, he was nothing but honest with you every day, and not just about what turns him on.Â
Over time, you discovered his fears, his ticks, his aspirations past the small town you both found yourselves in. You admire his vulnerability, how open he is when sharing the thoughts that occupy his mind.
âAt least three times already,â you tease, running your hand across his leg.
âItâs not bad to hear it a fourth time, right?â He plants another kiss to the crown of your head. He drops the braid heâs just made across your face, making you laugh.
âIâd rather hear how work went today,â you say, getting up to press your back to his chest, snuggling into him.
He shrugs, wrapping his arms around you tighter. âNot much to talk about. Working with roofs all day isnât exactly exciting, angel.âÂ
You know Jake doesnât want to work at his dadâs construction company for the rest of his life. However, it provides stability, and that matters a lot to him. He knows what it did to his aunt when Rikiâs father walked out early on in his cousinâs life, and he wouldnât wish that lack of support on anyone.
âAt least youâre not running a tutoring center and a daycare in the same church,â you joke, your tone anything but humorous. The brood you dealt with every day was completely unlike Riki. They were kids that were carbon copies of their parents, children that would one day become exactly like their absentminded fathers and speculatory mothers. It put a taste in your mouth you couldnât stomach.
You fall into steady silence, the uptick in both of your nerves ebbing away the longer you hold each other. Sure, Jake hates roofing as much as you hate disciplining whining toddlers and helping apathetic tweens with mathematics, but it doesnât matter at this moment.
All that does is each other, enjoying the midweek sunset and the sounds of the birds flying overhead.
âWhat would you do if you were somewhere else?â Jake asks into the crook of your neck.
You grin, imagining a world of possibilities. The question never came up before, not from him or anyone else. It opens up a plethora of choices in your mind, but you narrow them down quickly, knowing what your heart truly desires.
âIâd like to teach,â you answer. âReally teach, maybe at a university. Something like poetry.â You turn to look at him, a newfound fire in your eyes. âYeah.â
Jake smiles back at you, moving stray strands of hair from your shoulder to rest his head there. âI think youâd be great at that.â
âWhat would you do?â
Jake ponders the question, going over it in the same way you were moments before. You see realization wash over his features, and it makes you smile. âI think Iâd write. Not literature or anything, but songs maybe? Teach music in the meantime. Still have to make money somehow, yâknow.â
You giggle and push him down on the picnic blanket, running your fingers through his hair. âSounds like a plan.â
He nods, sharing your happiness. âMaybe a kid and a dog can fit somewhere in that plan.â
Chuckling, you raise one eyebrow. âAs long as Iâm not having a baby out of wedlock, that sounds perfect to me.â
He turns you both over, covering your body with his and kissing you intensely. The passion runs from his body to yours, your heartbeats matching in their strong beats against your chests. âPerfect,â he whispers, his lips meeting yours once again.
It may be too soon to call it love, but you know youâre tiptoeing that line, and you wouldnât mind falling headfirst on the other side of it as long as Jakeâs there waiting for you.
âAre you sure they donât know Iâm here?â Jake asks, hesitant to walk up the stairs to your bedroom.
âItâs fine! Theyâre at a seminar all weekend with Reverend Park and his son, I promise.â You kiss his lips before running up to your room. Still on the fence, you hear his tentative footsteps trudging behind you.
Another few months rolled by, and your parents had softened to the idea of Jake being around more often. He showed up with his parents to church every Sunday, even if you both snuck off to make out in the backwoods when nobody was paying attention.
Heâd stick around for the deaconâs sessions with Akemi, brightening her spirits with his guitar and a couple of songs to replace the ones she missed during normal processions. It helped that she seemed to be getting better, slowly but surely, with treatment and daily prayer.
When you heard your father call Jake a ânice kid,â you knew they were turning a corner in their relationship that you wished for since the night Jake kissed you in Jungwonâs car.
Now, that doesnât mean they would be happy with finding him in your bed on a Friday night, but youâve broken enough rules at this point. Whatâs one more?
âYouâre trying to get me killed,â Jake jokes as you rip his shirt from his body, discarding the article of clothing on your bedroom floor. You sit on your bed and marvel at the muscles on his chest and stomach, all of it yours to caress and kiss at any time.
âDonât worry, babe. Iâll follow you to heaven,â you tease, pulling him closer to kiss his body. Each press of your lips to his skin makes him tremble, cursing quietly to himself at the feeling.
âWith the way youâre touching me, I doubt either of us will make it there.â
You giggle and link his mouth to yours. You moan when his tongue hits the roof of your mouth.
The intentions you had for tonight definitely involved numerous bouts of kissing, but the way Jakeâs making you feel will certainly end up with his face or fingers between your legs. And as good as that sounds, you donât want him derailing you from completing your mission.
There had been so many moments of him giving you pleasure up to this point, you wondered how he had stayed so composed and content after without expecting anything in return.
So, tonight, you decided to give him a bit of satisfaction, even if youâre walking into such activities without any kind of road map. Yeri gave you a handful of tips, but doing it for real is another beast entirely.
âJaeyun, wait,â you say, taking his face in between your hands.
He looks up at you with eager eyes, wondering why you pulled him away from your neck. âWhat is it?â
âI want to take care of you this time.â You say, hoping your expression gives off the confidence youâre trying to portray. âIâve never done it before, butââ
âAnd you donât have to, angel,â Jake says with a dopey, relaxed smile. What on Earth and heaven did you do to find a guy like him?
âPlease,â you beg, scooting closer to the edge of the bed. âI want to try.â
Jakeâs conflicting feelings are evident in his eyes. Surely any man wants his girlfriend to go down on him with the same eagerness that you're giving him right now, but he doesnât want you to feel obligated.Â
In his mind, pleasure isnât about some sort of trade-off. He makes you feel good because he wants to, not because itâs some duty he has to fulfill and expects to be paid back for later.
But, you asked so nicely and your eyes shine up at him so beautifully. He feels his resolve crumble enough to concede and do what you want.
You begin to unbutton his pants, your fingers twitching not from fear but excitement. When you pull down his jeans fully and see the outline of his bulge in his briefs, your mouth falls open slightly at the size.
Could it fit in your mouth if it was that big?
Jake chuckles and takes your hand to press to the gaping material covering him. âIt wonât bite.â
You look up at him and begin to stutter, unsure how to continue once you take off his underwear. âD-Do you want me to use my hands first?â
âWhatever feels right to you, angel. I trust you.â He rubs his thumb across your cheek, and it calms all the nerves that came to the surface.
Itâs in those three words that you find the courage to pull the remaining article of clothing off of him, taking in the sight of his cock in all its glory.
You gulp hard, trailing your eyes from the tip to where it adjoins to the rest of him. Youâve never seen one up close before, and you feel like youâre invading his privacy as you stare at it for another long minute. But who can blame you?
âItâs all for you, baby,â Jake whispers. âDo whatever you want.â
You feel a sharp pang of heat at the center of your thighs, his words spurring you on. You spit into your hand, as Yeri instructed, and wrap your hand firmly around Jakeâs cock. With an easy but deliberate pace, you look at Jake directly to see if youâre starting off on the right foot.
And boy were you.
Jake hisses at the feeling of your hand encasing him, loving the tightness of your fingers as they continue sliding up and down his dick. He had envisioned this many times in the solitude of his bedroom, images of you and your beautiful body writhing underneath him enough to get him off. But those nights were nothing compared to this.
âAre you ready for my mouth now?â You ask timidly. Jake wants to laugh at how innocent you sound, the words coming so naturally off of your tongue.
âYes, angel, please,â he answers, wanting to caress you by the hair and guide you down to his awaiting, leaking cock.
You move closer until you're an inch away from his tip. Flattening your tongue to take it into your mouth, you keep watching Jakeâs face for the right signals.
His mouth opens, a satisfied whine leaving his lips. You feel a wave of pride at the fact heâs enjoying it so much, egging you on further.
âYour mouth feels so perfect wrapped around me,â he confesses. He soaks in the sensation of your lips and teeth softly running over the veins of his cock, your head bobbing across his length skillfully. How can an innocent and dutiful daughter like you give such mind-blowing head?
He canât ruminate on the answer long, releasing a guttural moan as he feels his tip hit the back of your throat, the gag that rumbles from you making his cock even more sensitive.
âAngel, Iâm gonna come soon,â Jake warns. âIf you donât want me to come in your mouth, let me know now.â
You look up through your lashes at him as you continue sucking on him with fierce passion, swirling your tongue across his tip.Â
His hand is wrapped firmly in your hair now, fucking your face as softly as he can without forcing anymore of himself down your throat. When you take a hand to cup his balls, softly kneading them between your fingers, heâs done for.
He whines pathetically as his seed shoots inside your mouth. The taste isnât particularly pleasing, but you milk it for what itâs worth to watch him fall apart so perfectly under your attention.
The orgasm rocks through him with an unshakeable amount of pleasure, his body completely helpless as he continues to spurt into your mouth. He can only hiss and whine as you continue to touch him, letting him come down fully and taking all of him without complaint.
Jake breathes in deeply when he gains clarity again, taking you in his arms and shoving his tongue deep in your mouth. âThat was probably the best blowjob Iâve ever gotten,â he states, running his fingers over your face with adoration.
You scoff and roll your eyes, his words making you shy. âI doubt it, seeing as that was my first one.â
âIt was!â Jake puts a hand on his heart. âSwear to the savior himself.â Before you can rebut, Jake takes your legs in his hands and moves you to the edge of the bed.
You wake up to the hard knocks at your bedroom door, the morning sun peeking out of your window to prove the previous night has long gone.
âHoney? What did we say about locked doors in this house?â
Your fatherâs booming voice makes you jump up from bed, smacking Jake hard on the shoulder and chest to wake him up.
âWe had an odd feeling at the hotel, so we came home early,â your mother says as you shake Jake from his sleep.
âOw, what the fuck,â Jake grunts, his voice not quiet enough to go unnoticed. You curse yourself and the reality in front of whatâs about to happen, knowing full well your parents heard him on the other side of the door.
âSweetie, whoâs in there with you?â Your motherâs shrill but concerned tone makes you cringe. Jakeâs eyes bulge in response, quickly leaping from the mattress to pull on his clothes in haste.
Just when you throw your dress from last night over your head and Jake buttons up his pants, your father slams open the door with his shoulder. Your parents gasp and yell at the sight before them, the man they began to grow comfortable with in a compromising position with their only daughter and precious child.
âWhat in Godâs name is he doing here?â Your father asks no-one in particular, stomping towards Jakeâs shirtless figure and yanking him by the neck.
âDaddy, stop!â You plead, scratching and clawing at his frame to pull him off of your lover.
Your mother begins blubbering, teary-eyed before you. âOh honey, what did he do to you?â
âNothing,â you scream. âPlease leave him alone and let us be.â
âI told you to stay away from him.â Your father stares you down, eyes blazing with fury. âNot only did you betray me, but you betrayed the sanctity of your purity. Itâs a disgrace.â
Jake coughs, your fatherâs hands tightening around his neck. âThe only disgrace is the two of you holding her back, like sheâs some weak bird in a cage,â he croaks. âShe can make her own decisions.â
âYou stay silent, you insolent pest,â your father growls, yanking Jake out of your room and down the stairs. By the time you and your mother make it out to the bottom step, your father has thrown Jake out and onto the porch.
âStay away from my daughter, or youâll have another reason to pray you donât end up burning in hell.â
âStop it!â You step in between your father and Jake, the latter putting on whatâs left of his clothes. People begin to hover too close to your family home, suddenly entrenched in the scene playing out before them.
Jake kisses your forehead and walks away in the direction of his parked bike, unsure what else he can do unless he wants to truly end up six feet under.Â
 Your father grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you in the direction of your porch, but you resist with all your might. âYou canât make me go back in there.â
âI am your father and you will listen to me,â he grunts, holding on tight.
âDaddy, I love him!â You scream as you yank your arm away from your father, your inner strength giving way. âIf you canât accept that, I guess Iâll just have to burn hell with him. Better than wasting another second here.â
You run toward Jakeâs bike and sit behind him, cinching your arms around his waist. He smiles to himself, feeling the press of your chest to his back as he puts his helmet over his head. âAre you sure about this, angel?â
You nod furiously, not bothering to look back at your red-faced family. âMore than Iâve ever been.â
All you focus on is his motorcycle rumbling to life before you speed away. Your hair blows in the wind as you both escape the horrified stares of the local vipers.
You end up at a motel on the other side of town, far away from the scandal thatâs surely rocking your small community by now. The deaconâs daughter running away with the bad boy next door? What a tragedy!
You run inside to miss the upcoming rain, both of you shivering from the barrage of pellets that did land on your skin. You settle onto the mattress as Jake drops the small amount of belongings he had in his possession on the dresser.
He turns to you with quiet concern, arms splayed out on the furniture as he looks at you, searching your face for any lingering doubt. âNo regrets?â
You shake your head, exhausted but glad to be out of that house. âNone at all.â
He breathes out a sigh of relief and sits down beside you on the bed, rubbing your thigh with his fingers. âIâm sorry.â
Your brows knit together, confusion pouring over you. You take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers. âYou have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be apologizing to you.â
 You feel tears build at your eye ducts, your voice suddenly growing thick when you recall the scene from an hour ago. âIâm sorry my father was so horrible to you.â
âHush, itâs okay,â he puts his other hand on your face. He kisses your lips tenderly and gracefully. How did nobody else but you see he possessed the most kind nature of anyone youâve ever known?
Jake moves his head, his lips curving into the smile that always takes your common sense away. âI love you too, by the way.â
Your confession from earlier hits you like a heavy rock, your eyes going wide and your face turning pale. âThat wasnât the way I wanted to say it.â
âThen say it now,â Jake urges, your face resting gently between his fingers.
Thereâs no fear or pressure when the three words leave your lips, only the feeling of a weight lifting off of your chest. âI love you, Sim Jaeyun. I love you with my whole heart.â
His face lights up, the words seeming to set aglow something deep within him. The only right reaction seems to be in the form of his lips attaching to yours in a passionate kiss, your shared love creating a beautiful path forward for the both of you.
He whispers his next words so lightly, you almost assume the statement is a figment of your imagination. âMarry me.â
You feel your face contort into a mixture of disbelief and elation, needing to hear him say it again for it to truly resonate. âWhat?â
âMarry me,â he repeats, his smile stretching across his face. âMarry me now, or in three months from now, or whenever you want. Just say you will.â
You exhale a breath of astonishment, unsure if he knows how much you want to say yes, to make this as real as it sounds on his lips. He leaves your side with a kiss to your temple to grab something from his jacket.Â
He comes back in record time, standing in front of you and twiddling the black box in both of his hands with anxious fingers. âI brought it with me to your house last night, I just didnât know how to ask then. But I do now.â
Like in all the stories youâve read and movies youâve seen in your lifetime, he sinks down onto one knee before you. You place a hand over your mouth as he opens the box, a ring with an opal-shaped diamond cushioned in the center.
âWould you please do me the honor of being my wife?â Those words on his lips, visibly shaken from his own question, make a thousand butterflies flutter inside your chest.
Months ago, if you knew then you would end up here, from the edge of the sidewalk to now, you would not change a single moment. The world had been so gray before, you didnât know what it was like to step in the sun until he came into your life. What other answer is there?
âYes, yes, yes,â you respond, tears flooding your eyes as he shakily places the ring on your finger. It fits just right, the stone at the center sparkling in the darkness of the motel room.
You kiss Jakeâs lips with all the force your body possesses, certain thereâs no better future than right beside him.
The feeling of the gold band around your finger makes Jake shudder as it touches his cock. Your body is nestled perfectly on top of his as you take what you canât put in your mouth between your fingers.
He laps up your essence with his tongue, ecstatic to have his face covered in your juices and smothered if need be by your wet cunt. If people think wedding nights are magical, engagement nights have to be a step up.
âFuck, Jaeyun, yes,â you roll your hips into his awaiting mouth, his tongue available for you to lay your slit onto. The expletive leaves your mouth like honey, the feeling fitting for such a dirty word.
He knows exactly how to make you fall apart and be put back together, and the thought of doing this for the rest of your life makes you want to cry again from the pure happiness inside your core.
Jake takes his lips off of your pussy and sits up. Before you can ask what heâs doing, he takes you into his lap on the bed and kisses you fiercely. You taste yourself on his tongue as he skillfully takes your breath away with his lips. When you part, he says, âAngel, I know we said weâd wait, but I donât know how much longer I can handle not being inside of you.â
You whimper at his words and suddenly rock your center into the tip of his cock, making him groan in the process. âI meanâweâre just starting early, right?âÂ
Jake releases a joyous laugh and kisses you hungrily, his face in a constant state of ecstasy since you said âyesâ hours ago. âRight.â
 The anticipation makes you even wetter, crawling to the head of the bed as Jake grabs a condom from the bedside table. If there was one thing he had promised, he swore he wouldnât get you pregnant. Not yet, anyway.
He rolls the rubber over his cock before joining you on the bed, lining up perfectly with your center. He rubs his tip against your folds, biting his lip at how easily it gets coated in your essence. âReady?â
You nod eagerly, a smirk filling the entire bottom half of your face.
He pushes the tip in, the pressure a foreign feeling you had never experienced before. It took time and practice to get used to the size of his fingers, but this is another level of fullness that takes your breath away.
Once Jakeâs partially inside and gives you a moment to adjust, he asks, âCan I move?â
You nod your head, holding onto his shoulders for support as he begins to thrust inside of you. He loves to see his cock disappearing between your legs, your body eagerly taking him in and stretching itself out to accommodate him. He loves the way you whimper at the movement of his hips and the pleasure youâre receiving.
Better yet, he loves you. He loves all of you, from the nonsensical words you speak in your sleep to the wrinkle between your eyebrows when you get mad. Youâre all his, and heâs grateful to be the only one you call yours.
âWe may never leave this motel,â Jake says, his words breathy as he continues moving his hips. âI could stay inside of you for the rest of my life, angel.â
âI love you so much,â you say, inching your hand between your bodies to roll your clit between your fingers.
âI love you,â Jake says. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you like he wants to pour all of his emotions from his being into your soul, just so you know how deep his love for you goes.
Itâs all so overwhelmingly beautiful, you feel the swell of your release cresting over you like a tidal wave. âBaby, Iâm gonna come,â you whisper, your mouth open wide from the moans and cries you cannot suppress.
Jake groans and slams his hips into you harder, filling you to the hilt repeatedly. âCome, angel. Come for me.â
You cry out as the orgasm takes hold of your body, your fingers working on their own accord on your clit as you fall off the edge.
Jake stills not a second later, releasing into the condom and taking the last remnants of his energy to thrust inside of you a few more times.
He pulls out and throws the rubber in a nearby trash can. His sweaty body clings to yours, hands rubbing up and down your arm tenderly as he kisses the curve of your shoulder.
You see the flash of your ring in the glow of the motelâs neon sign, and you think about how the night could not have gone any better.
Jake may be a bit reckless and not what you initially imagined for your future, but now that you have him, you wouldnât give him up for anything. All the parts of you that stayed buried for so long have resurfaced because of him, and you could not be more grateful.
With your left hand a touch heavier than it was some hours ago, you fall asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window and Jakeâs rising and falling chest.
You walk out of your motherâs house, happy to have made a visit with her before she ran off to do her morning errands.
What youâre not pleased to encounter is the same crowd of women huddled with their homemade fans and cups of lemonade. They werenât there when you arrived a few hours ago. Of course they show up when you have no chance of escaping them, like the vultures they are.
âMrs. Sim,â Mrs. Choi says, her tone entirely made of stone with little warmth. âPleasure to see you.â
Your new surname gives you indescribable amounts of happiness. It took your parents some time to get used to, but eventually, they realized you put your heart in the right place. Your father took his sweet time getting there, begrudgingly admitting a short time ago Jake is a very acceptable son-in-law, the turnaround of his perception of your husband complete.
You give the crotchety ringleader a fake smile and attempt to walk away, but Mrs. Lee interjects. âHowâs your mister doing working at the church now?â
âGreat,â you say, genuinely happy to talk about a topic you care for. âJaeyun loves the kids. Little Yuna might actually be a guitar prodigy from what heâs told me.â
They all coo, practically synchronized in their sips of lemonade and fan flurries.
âSoon enough youâll have one of your own, Iâm sure,â Mrs. Choi remarks with sarcasm, her red-lipstick-stained front teeth on full display.
âNot too soon now,â Jake suddenly says, walking up the pathway to your motherâs house and taking you in by the waist. âMy wife has to finish her Masters first. How else is she gonna start teaching at the community college?â
My wife. No matter how long itâs been since you officially got married in your church, that day a year ago forever ingrained in your memory, it still warms you to the bones hearing those words leave Jakeâs lips.
The women all express signs of agreement, some nodding while others hum.
âWe better get back home now, but you ladies have a nice day!â Jake bids them goodbye and walks you both down the stairs with his hand on the small of your back. Even if he were to be more than the perfect gentleman in front of them, they would still linger around with pesky eyes and constantly moving lips.
âTheyâre still betting weâre gonna crash and burn, arenât they?â Jake whispers, teasing you with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
You shake your head. You fall more in love with him every day that passes, no matter what the people around you do or donât see. They may have their opinions, but it wonât shake the foundation youâve built. âWell, theyâre sure to be disappointed if I have anything to say about it.â
Jakeâs eyes widen, his expression humorous yet surprised. âEasy, angel. Donât want to have to tear my wife off of a nosy wine mom.â
Your heart aches at his words, him fully aware of what two of them in particular do to you. âI love you.â
Jake grins, inching his face closer to yours. âIâd love nothing more than to kiss you right now, but what would everyone say?â He asks with a mock face of horror.
You shrug without much care, grinning. âSomeone once told me âfuck everyone else.â And right now I couldnât agree more.â
Jake laughs before he places a gentle kiss to your lips, the sun radiating off of him in waves as he pulls you closer.
No matter what anyone in your small town has to say, your choices are yours; youâre perfectly happy with how your life has turned out whether they think so too or not. And you will always choose Sim Jaeyun, now and forever.
@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss
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THE BEAR AND THE BEE HIVE
summary: in which carmy falls for the sweet cafĂŠ owner that supplies him with endless americanos
pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader
word count: 14.4k
warning: it's a little bit of a slow burn. sorry. i'm a sucker for it and i feel like carmy is a slow burn kinda guy. 18 +, cursing, smut, p in v, oral (m. receiving), fingering, they use protection guys! i deserve a pat in the back. nothing too wild. oh, and very brief mention of suicide.
a/n: i started writing this way back in october and then it was nearly done and i abandoned it. well i finally got around to completing it tonight!
this is my first time ever writing for carmy and i tried my best writing this. i love carmy and the show but i didnât expect it to be hard to write him as a character. i wanted to get him right so i took my time with it and didnât rush it. hopefully you guys like my carmy. enjoy!
i think i've had this stored in my drafts for like 4 months and it's time for me to set it free.
The cigarettes were not enough anymore. No matter how many smoke breaks Carmy took, he still felt the edge on his shoulders. A fear laced with anxiety that overtook him.
After deciding that blowing through yet another wall in his restaurant was the way to go, Carmy took a break. He needed it before he used the sledgehammer to destroy the restaurant in its entirety, along with his dream.
He remembers a coffee shop only a block away from The Bear and thinks he could use a coffee right about now. Maybe the mixture of caffeine and nicotine will be able to relax his shoulders, if only for an hour.
As soon as he opens the door, the smell of ground coffee beans greets him. He looks around, taking in the cozy ambiance the decorative wood brings to the place and the splashes of warm yellow that lighten it up.
Then he sees you, and his focus shifts entirely. His eyes only see you.
"Hi, welcome to Bee Hive!" You chirp with a small smile.
Carmy freezes, forgetting why he's there in the first place. He slowly steps up to the register, where you patiently wait for him. It's just after the lunch rush, so you're in no hurry.
He finds he's acting like a teenager who has just seen a pretty girl. Only he's not a teenager, and you're more than a pretty girl.
"What can I get for you today?" You ask, not noticing the effect you've had on him. You take a sharpie out of your yellow apron, preparing to scribble down his order in a cup.
Carmy has perfected the empty on the outside but screaming on the inside face. Strangers don't tend to know he's almost always losing his shit.
"I-I don'tâŚsorry," Carmy looks at you briefly before diverting his eyes. He apologizes in a flurry, looking for an excuse for his weird behavior, "Uh, it's my first time here. What do you recommend?"
"It's not a problem," you say softly as if to calm him, "I'm a simple girl. I love the latte, but if you're looking for something stronger, the americano is one of the favorites."
Carmy nods as you ramble about the drinks, where the coffee beans come from, and the different notes of each blend. He hangs onto every word that slips from your lips. The static in his brain clearing up for the first time in hours.
It ends too soon as you realize you're talking too much and probably overwhelmed him. You sheepishly smile at him and trail off, but he continues to stare, waiting for you to continue.
"I'll take the Americano," Carmy nods, giving you a tight-lipped smile. Although he had been hanging to every one of your words, he was too focused on the shape of your lips and the sweet tone of your voice.
"Good choice," you nod, grabbing a cup from the tray beside you, "What's your name?"
Carmy looks up, slightly alarmed, as if you've asked for his social security number. "What?" He thinks you'll be forward and ask for his number next, seemingly forgetting how coffee orders work.
"Your name? For the order?" You explain, trying to ease his worries. He's odd, but in an endearing way. You believe this is his first time here because you're confident you would've remembered him.
"Fuck, right, yeah," he nervously says, pinching the bridge of his nose, "My name's Carmen."
"Your Americano will be right out, Carmen," you tell him, capping your sharpie back up.
Carmy quickly pays and stands to the side to wait for his order. He forces himself to not look at you or in your direction as you take other customers' orders. He just knows he's made a fool of himself already. Not that it matters. Why would it matter? He's there for the coffee. Nothing else, no one else.
As he walks out of Bee Hive, he sips his coffee. His shoulders instantly drop, and his fear-induced anxiety starts to dissipate for the moment. He's unsure if the effect is because of the caffeine or the thoughts of your pretty smile.
Visiting your coffee shop becomes routine for Carmy. Whenever things at The Bear become crazy -or he starts to lose his fuckin' mind- he makes his way to Bee Hive with a cigarette hanging from his lips.
For twenty minutes, he's free of Richie's constant hounding, Sugar's struggles with the permits and scheduling, and Sydney's disappointment because the menu is still extremely underway.
Each time he's stopped by, you've been there to greet him, and each time, you've left a little heart by Carmen's name, which makes his heart race in a peculiar way. His hands would touch his chest to check if it was heartburn, but it didn't feel like that. It's not anxiety either cause he knows pretty well how that feels.
All he knows is he hasn't done anything to deserve such a gesture. He's convinced himself you draw little hearts for everyone because he's not special.
One Thursday afternoon, Carmy realizes he doesn't know your name. He looks for a name tag, but you're not wearing one on your yellow apron. He should know your name if you insist on making small talk despite his short answers.
He can't help it. He gets too in his head to answer like a normal person, so his answers come out choppy and dry.
"Alright, Carmen, your order will be right out," you say, handing his cup to one of the baristas. You always hold out and ask him what he wants to order. He has the right to change his mind anytime, but for now, he's stuck with the americano, which he drowns in sugar.
As curiosity eats at him, he gathers the courage to ask. "Thanks. Hey, uh, I've-Iâve never gotten your nameâŚâ Carmy says, cursing at himself for not formulating the question correctly. His hand comes up to grip his hair instinctually.
Your smile widens when he asks your name. The silly crush you've developed for your customer fluttering to life. It's just a crush over a stranger, nothing to write home about.
You tell him your name but follow it with "-call me Honey. Everyone knows me by that name. I'm sure if you ask my friends about me with my real name, you'll throw them for a loop."
You're rambling, hoping he doesn't think calling you by your nickname is weird. Then again, how can he judge when he has a sister people call 'Sugar' and he and his siblings also don the nickname 'Bear.'
"Honey." Carmy repeats your nickname, smiling as he finds it fitting. "In that case, call me Carmy."
"Nice to properly meet you, Carmy," you say, grinning.
Like all the days before, Carmy steps aside and waits for his coffee. He doesn't let himself continue the conversation or ask more about you even if itâs everything he wants to do.
It's rare for Carmy to be in a good mood, and whenever it happens, it doesn't tend to last. His goal of opening a restaurant in 12 weeks makes it impossible for him to relax and enjoy the ride. To prolong this unusual feeling, Carmy stops by Bee Hive on his way to The Bear.
"Have you made your boss angry, Honey?" He asks as he pulls out his wallet to pay. He ordered the americano as he always does.
"NoâŚwhy do you ask?" You ask, tilting your head in confusion.
"Uh, 'cause you-you're always here. Do you not take days off? Not that I'm complaining. I-I like seeing you here." Carmy's words get quieter as he speaks, red creeping up his neck. So much for trying to make a joke.
You look around the room and tell him, "Imma let you in on a little secret."
Carmy follows your hand, waving him to get closer. The smell of cigarettes invades your senses as you get close to him. You'd never admit that the mix of his cigarettes and your coffee is addicting. As both lean over the counter, you whisper, "I'm the boss. I can't run away even if I wanted to."
"You own the coffee shop," Carmy pans in shock.
Carmy is more than surprised at your words. Especially now that he knows how expensive it is to open a business. You can't be a day over 25 and own a successful coffee place. There is hope, after all.
"I do," you nod, standing straight once more.
A couple of years ago, you had inherited a hefty amount of money from an estranged aunt. Fresh out of college and with no real plan, you thought it would be a good moment to follow your dream and open the cozy cafĂŠ.
"How do you do it?" Carmy asks, amazed at the girl smiling at him. "I don't know if you know, but, um, I-I'm opening the restaurant around the block. Used to be The Beef?" He finishes grimly as he points to his side of the block.
"Oh, yeah. The guys who worked there helped me move some equipment when I first opened two years ago," you reveal, "Tell you what, whenever you have a break, come around. I'll give you a free americano and tell you all about it. Neighbor to neighbor."
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Carmy agrees. "I'll take you up on that."
Weeks go by, and Carmy seemingly forgets about Bee Hive and your pending conversation. You try not to overthink about his absence or how you might've scared him away. He's probably just busy remodeling his restaurant. You know better than anyone how much time that takes.
Still, his presence has become part of your routine, and you can't help but look at the door each time the bell rings. You expect to see him walking up to the counter, the remnants of cigarette smoke coming out his nose as he breathes.
You're pretty close to your assumption because Carmy has been dealing with the fire suppression test. They didn't fail the test once but twice, and if they didn't pass it on the third try, their plan to open the restaurant in 12 weeks goes out the window. Fak has tried everything, and nothing works.
He'd sent Richie once on a coffee run, but the fuckin' idiot went to the nearest Starbucks. Carmy had been looking forward to tasting your coffee and seeing his name in the cup with the little heart because he's 100% sure he's the only Carmen you know. It's not a common name in these parts of town.
One very early morning, he's walking to work, and as he passes Bee Hive, he sees you inside, wiping tables down before you open at 6:30.
Impulsively, he knocks on the glass, not giving himself the time to overthink things. You turn to look at the window and see him standing outside, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his familiar plaid jacket to protect himself from the chilly March air.
"Hey stranger," you greet him, opening the door and inviting him in.
"Hi," he breathes out, staring at you, "you're here early," he tries to casually mention.
You roll your eyes dramatically and say, "It's a downside of the job. Did you know people want coffee at the crack of dawn?"
You try acting as nonchalant as possible. It's not like you missed seeing one of your favorite customers, his beautiful blue eyes, or the way he rocks a simple white t-shirt.
"I had no idea," Carmy smiles, bringing his tattooed hand up to his lips, "I, uh, usually drink mine at night." That much is true. On those sleepless nights when insomnia takes over him, the best remedy is coffee.
"Would you make an exception and join me for a morning coffee at the crack ass of dawn?" Anxiously, you play with the rings on your fingers. It feels like you're asking the guy on a date when it's just a friendly coffee.
"As long as you have some business advice to spare?" Carmy responds shakily. He briefly looks down the street to glimpse at his restaurant. It's too early for anyone to be there yet.
"Deal."
Throwing the towel over your shoulder, you make your way behind the counter. Carmy attempts to make small talk with you as you prepare both drinks.
This is the first time he's watching you in action since you tend to stick to the cash register when he's around. It's not a coincidence. After the first time he came to Bee Hive, you wanted to see more of him, so you stationed yourself at the register where you'd be sure to see him, and he'd see you.
"Here you go." You place his coffee mug on the table along with yours before disappearing momentarily and returning with an orange soufflĂŠ coffee cake. You're pulling all the stops for Carmy to leave a good impression.
Carmy thanks you and sips his coffee, "Wow, this is fire!" He expected to taste an americano, but what you prepared was entirely different. He can make out hints of hazelnut and caramel in the coffee.
"Thanks. I took the liberty of changing your order. You can always come back to the americano, thoughâŚ" you shrug shyly, looking at him over the rim of your mug.
"I-I appreciate it. Thanks." Carmy throws you a nervous grin. He gestures with his tattooed hand to dig into the cake you brought out. He shouldn't be the only one eating.
You and Carmy share the cake as you talk about yourselves and the crazy businesses you own. Somehow, talking to you comes easy to him. He's still nervous and scared to fuck things up, but the warm coffee and your even warmer smile ease him into it.
"How do you do it? This place is always packed, and you seem like you run a tight ship," Carmy wonders, playing with the fork. The cake is long gone, although the notes of orange remain on his tongue. Would you taste the same?
"It wasn't without mistakes. I had to learn a lot from my fuck ups and listen to my team because although I'm the owner, they are the ones doing most of the work. Whenever there's a flaw, they are the first to know," you speak softly, afraid of ruining the calm ambiance you've set up, twirling the small amount of coffee left in your mug.
It's your favorite part of morning coffee. When you have just the smallest bit of coffee left, and you know you'll never drink it because it's cold, but it gives you an excuse to remain where you are.
"So, all I gotta do is listen?" It's funny you say that because Carmy listens, but his friend's voices get muddled somewhere along the way. As much as he tries to focus on them, they merge together and form a cacophony in his head.
"A lot of listening and a lot of experimentation. I've been open for two years, and it's only been in the last six months that I can confidently tell you we found our groove," you admit with a grimace.
Bee Hive is your baby, but bringing it to life was everything but easy. You messed up so many times, costing you so much money. You didn't know shit about owning a business or building one from the ground up. Doing research and putting your pride aside to ask for help got you through it.
"I've only been doing this for, like, less than a fuckin' year, and I already want to pull my hair out," Carmy admits with a pitiful laugh.
"I'm sorry I can't tell you it gets better soon," you say apologetically, reaching for his hand that rests on the table.
Carmy freezes, glancing at your hand on top of his. He hasn't got a clue what to fucking do with the display of affection. Was it a display of affection? He doesn't fucking know. "It's, uh, it's, uh, it's alright. As-as long as you give me coffee, I think I can make it through," Carmen furrows his eyebrows as he stutters through the sentence.
"I can't wait to see what the award-winning chef does," you say, bringing your hand back to your lap, none the wiser to Carmy's internal struggle.
He should've done something to keep your hand on his. Place his other hand on yours or fucking turn his hand around to grasp it. He liked feeling your warm skin on his. It hasn't been a minute since you pulled away, and he's craving it already. It's ridiculous. Is he really that touch-starved that he's seeking affection from a near stranger?
He coughs and darts his eyes between the wooden table top and you, "Fuck. You-you know about that?"
"I might've done some research after finding out you're opening the restaurant. I got curious. I'm sorry." Apologizing is your default thing to do. Messing things up is your area of expertise. You really didn't think he'd mind you mentioning it.
"No, no, no, uh, you don't have to apologize. You just caught me off guard," Carmy shakes his head, reassuring both of you.
"Okay, good," you lightly smile at him, averting your eyes when your gazes meet.
If there's a time for you to make a move, it's now. Taking a shaky breath, you speak up, "I was wondering if you'd ever like to-."
A loud knock on the glass door interrupts you. You and Carmy jump and look towards the source of the noise. It's one of your regular clients, waving at you to open up. Looking at your watch, you see it's 6:30 already.
"Shit. I'm-I'm sorry I took so much of your time," Carmy apologizes, picking up his mug and the plate to put away.
You grab his wrist to make him stop in his tracks, "Relax. I enjoyed talking to you. Maybe we can do it again soon?"
Carmy nods wide-eyed. He likes the idea just as much as you do. You take away the mug and plate with a soft 'okay.' He then follows you to the door as you unlock it and turn the sign to 'open.'
"I, um, gotta go work on the menu. I'll probably be back later for another coffee?" Carmen asks you as if he's asking for permission, which you find adorable.
"I'll be behind the register," you say, watching him walk away. He turns his head back for a moment, and you catch the smile gracing his lips as yours turns to mimic him.
"Oh, he's cute," your customer, an older lady, says, watching him go along with you. "It's about time you got a boyfriend."
"Mrs. O'Hara, here for your tea?" You ask her, ignoring the comment about your love life. That woman will set you up with anyone. She does love her tea, though, and expects you to provide it on time.
It's slow, but Carmen warms up to you. Instead of grabbing his coffee to go, he now drinks it at the cafĂŠ, coincidentally around the same time you take your break.
He's been hesitantly opening up. It's not like he's telling you about how fucked up his family is or how his brother committed suicide. More often, it's about the restaurant and his work as a chef, the struggles of getting every permit they need on a tight schedule since they are supposed to open in about four weeks now, or the occasional childhood memory. It's everything you need to know at this stage.
You love listening to Carmy talk, even if you have to coax it out of him sometimes. He's passionate about the restaurant despite all the stress that comes from it, and he adores the people he works with. He's shy but not in a dorky way because he's actually fascinating. Before meeting him, you never knew that collecting denim was a thing.
The smell of cigarettes that clings to him is also tightly laced with his character. When you step outside to get some sun and the scent of someone smoking hits you, your heart instantly speeds up, hoping it's him coming for his daily americano, or to come swoop you away into a sunset.
"-I fell on my ass in the middle of the street. I was freaking out, thinking I was gonna get run over by a car," you exclaim as you tell Carmy about the crazy Christmas you spent in New York last year.
"It's New York. You probably would have been run over," Carmy chuckles along with you. "There was this one time I was running late and-" His phone vibrating interrupts him.
"Sorry, it's just the fridge guy," he tells you with a furrow of his eyebrows. You notice he does that a lot when he's thinking deeply. Carmy silences it and looks back over to you.
"You should pick that up. A busted fridge is the last thing you need. Trust me. Been there, done that." You encourage him to take the call. The restaurant is more important than your story about how you bruised your coccyx in New York.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Carm! Call him back before you forget," you insist, grabbing his empty cup to trash it. You don't give him any other option, leaving him there to help your employees with a faulty machine.
He watches you closely, closer than ever before. He allows himself to watch how you frown at the machine and how your ringed fingers fumble with the knobs. His eyes keep trailing down involuntarily, and they take in how nicely your jeans hug your ass.
He goes into a spiral into these old pair of Levi jeans popular in the 90s and how they would fit nicely with the shape of your hips and legs. Carmy continues on the tangent, imagining himself peeling them off your body.
The phone vibrating in his hand snaps him out of it. Clearing his throat, he picks up the phone and walks outside. He waves at you through the window as he makes his way back to The Bear. Your frustration at the machine vanishes momentarily as you wave back, except the machine splatters, forcing you to redirect your attention. When you look outside again, he's gone.
Stakes are high at The Bear. There's less than four weeks until Friends and Family, and there is much to do. Marcus has returned from Copenhagen and is working on the desserts. Tina is doing her job as the new sous chef. Fak and Sweeps are helping out wherever they can. And Richie is being Richie, trying to be open but resisting change.
"I need coffee or a pop. Anything with caffeine," Sydney says, throwing her head back. She and Carmen have been working on the chaos menu for hours, and she keeps messing up. Carmy insists that it's okay that they'll adjust and get it right soon, but she's beginning to lose hope.
"Me too. I'd kill for an espresso," Natalie agrees, softly rubbing her hand over her growing bump.
"I thought you couldn't have caffeine cause of the baby," Richie mentions, remembering Tiff's time while pregnant.
"I don't need you to fuckin' tell me what I can or can't eat, Richie," Natalie yells, glaring at him. Although he's right, the doctor told her to limit her caffeine intake. Hard to do when she's up all night thinking about everything she needs to do for The Bear.
"Shit. I'm sorry for fucking caring," Richie screams back, lifting his hands up in defense.
"I can go to the coffee place down the block. Get everyone something," Carmy pipes up, looking forward to seeing you today.
Natalie is quick to shoot that idea down, "You can't. The fridge guy is coming in 20 minutes."
"Fuck, that's right," Carmy groans, digging his head in his hands. His fingers rake through his hair, messing up his curls. He wanted to see you and talk to you, even if it was for five short minutes.
"I'll go," Sydney sighs. She needs to leave the kitchen for more than five minutes, or she'll go crazy, "Just tell me what you guys want to order."
Natalie grumbles about getting decaf, Richie orders a plain black coffee, and Carmy asks for his americano. As Sydney leaves to ask Marcus, Carmy yells after her, "Please, go to Bee Hive. If you get Starbucks, I'm gonna fucking lose it."
Richie and Natalie exchange a look. Richie because he's confused, and Natalie because she knows something is happening with Carmy. He's never been picky over coffee. In fact, they have an old coffee machine in the office that now goes unused because he's always at that coffee shop.
"Sorry, I didn't get the fuckin' memo. Since when is Starbucks bad?" Richie frowns, looking to get a rise out of Carmy.
"I don't think it's about the coffee, cousin," Natalie responds, directing her gaze towards her brother, who is hunched over the counters, chopping vegetables.
"If it's not about the coffee, what is it about?" Richie questions, crossing his arms.
"Shut the fuck up, Sugar," Carmy grumbles, looking at his sister with a glare. He already knows where she's going. She tried to bring it up a couple of days ago after she walked by the coffee shop and saw him being friendly with you.
Natalie smiles and responds, "Carmy has a crush on the barista."
"That's ridiculous. I don't have a crush on her." Carmy shakes his head, avoiding Richie and Natalie's eyes on him. They always do this. They gang up on him if he shows even the slightest interest in a girl. They think they can help, but all they do is embarrass him.
"Come on, Bear. Why else would you go almost every day to get coffee?" Natalie asks, giving him a look.
"Because it's good fuckin' coffee. Jesus, it's not that deep." Carmy grabs the veggies he chopped and drops them into a container to use later.
"It's okay to admit you like a pretty girl, cousin! I'm excited for you! Makes you human and not a lonely hermit," Richie jokes, pushing on Carmy's buttons. "When was the last time you got laid?"
"I swear to God, Richie. Shut the fuck up," Carmy points at him angrily.
"No, I should go with Sydney and see who this girl is!" Richie says, walking out of the half-built kitchen.
Carmy follows him instantly, "You're not going fuckin' anywhere, fuckin' jagoff." He's turning red from anger, seeing Richie with his mocking smile. Natalie follows behind them, amused at the situation. It reminds her of the banters they used to get in with Mickey.
"Admit that you like her," Richie shrugs, giving him a choice.
"No, I won't," Carmy refuses. "You always do this shit."
"Then, I'm going," Richie nods, stepping towards the door.
"Fuck! Shit, alright. I like her, okay? Don't fucking go anywhere," Carmy yells, rubbing a hand on his face out of frustration. It's like he's not allowed to keep anything good to himself.
"Was that so hard?" Richie grins, clapping a hand on Carmy's shoulder.
"Don't fuckin' touch me," Carmy grumbles, walking back to the kitchen. Natalie follows him with a smile, shaking her head at Richie.
Carmy sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. He has yet to admit that he likes you more than he should. He's been avoiding it, afraid of what it might lead to, or rather, what it might not.
He couldn't let Richie go see you. He has a big fuckin' mouth and will tell you Carmy has a crush on you whether it's true or not. Just like that, he feels the sour taste in his mouth, his heartburn making an appearance. Carmy should go look for his pepto before it gets worse.
Unaware of the argument back at The Bear, Sydney walks to Bee Hive. She's walked past many times but has yet to have the time to stop and try it out.
As she waits in line, she reads over the drinks menu. It's clear that it's been carefully curated. Starbucks has nothing on this menu. She can see why Carmy would prefer to come here instead.
When it's her turn to order, Sydney takes out her phone to recite everyone's drink order. She also points to a few pastries, thinking Marcus would like to try some of them and get inspiration. That and she knows Natalie will enjoy them as well.
You're sitting at a table close to the pickup counter. You often find yourself all over the store, ensuring everything goes smoothly. Sometimes, you stop to talk to your regulars and see how they're doing.
You notice Sydney struggling with all the cups she has to carry. It's proving difficult despite the to-go trays your barista put them in. Deciding to approach her, you ask, "Do you need help?"
"Oh, no. I'm fine, thanks," Sydney responds with a nervous smile. She's trying hard to grab everything, including the box with the pastries.
You continue watching her struggle because you know she needs help. You let her try and figure it out for one more minute before stepping in again when she almost drops two of the drinks, "Need some help now?"
"Yeah," Sydney sighs, "I guess I can leave one of the trays here, go to the restaurant, and come back for the rest," she speaks mostly to herself.
"Are you going far?"
"No, just the restaurant down the block," Sydney responds with a sigh, scratching her eyebrow as she tries to figure out the logistics of carrying the drinks. She could get a box to put everything in.
You perk up at her response. The only restaurant down the block is Carmen's. Could she work there? "Carmy's restaurant?"
"You know Carmy?" Sydney asks, tilting her head. Maybe Nat was right. Carmy spends his time here because of the woman in front of her.
"He comes here often. Anyway, I can go with you to help you out. It's not far, and I'd feel bad if your drinks got cold." You offer to help her out because you're a nice person. Not because you want a chance to see the curly-haired man you are developing feelings for.
"You really don't have toâŚ"
"It's really not a problem," you press, grabbing one of the to-go trays and motioning for her to lead the way.
Sydney sighs in defeat and nods, "Thanks. I'm Sydney, by the way."
"I'm Honey," you smile, following her outside.
You chat all the way to the restaurant with Sydney. She reminds you of Carmy in some ways, so you can see why they are friends. Before arriving at the restaurant, Sydney apologizes in advance for any sort of mess there might be, including yelling.
As you near the building under renovation, your palms start to sweat. Maybe you shouldn't have come. You're showing up unannounced, and he's probably too busy to talk to you anyway. You can slip in and out without him noticing. That's the goal now.
You open the door for Sydney, letting her go through first, and quietly follow her into the restaurant. There's no time to escape, as all eyes are instantly on you.
Richie is arguing with Fak when he sees you walk in. He narrows his eyes as Carmy looks in your direction from the kitchen. With just one glance to Carmy's face, he knows who you're supposed to be.
"Guess I didn't have to go anywhere. She came to me," Richie whispers, rushing out the door.
"Shut the fuck up. Where are you going? Don't embarrass me!" Carmy whispers out to Richie unsuccessfully.
"Oh, you'll do that all by yourself," Richie throws over his shoulder.
"Honey, hey, what-what're you doing here?" Carmy speaks, not giving Richie a chance to open his big mouth. He stands between you and Richie, blocking him for the time being.
"Sydney needed help with the drinks," you answer nervously, averting your eyes.
"Oh, thanks for that. You didn't have to," Carmy approaches you and takes the drinks from your hands. His fingers brush with yours momentarily, causing you both to blush.
"I did, or else you probably wouldn't have anything to drink," you whisper to him.
Sydney, Fak, and Richie all watch the interaction amusedly. Richie has a big teasing grin on his face as he makes a plan in his head.
"Hi, I'm Richie! Carmy's cousin," he introduces himself, shoving Carmy to the side and shaking your hand enthusiastically. "I gotta say Carmen right here is obsessed with your coffee. He's banned us from getting Starbucks."
Carmy curses under his breath as Richie does precisely what he tells him not to. He has the urge to throw the coffee at him and run away.
"Is that right?" You ask, amused, looking over at Carmy with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh yeah," Richie answers for him as Carmy tries to find the right words to say. "Cousin, why don't you give the nice lady a tour of the place?"
"It's not done yet. Could be dangerous," Carmy hopelessly says with a gulp.
"Nonsense! You'll take care of her!" Richie insists. He takes the coffee from Carmy's hands and pushes him in your direction. "Go give her a tour."
Richie, Sydney, and Fak all disappear to the office to stay out of the way and try to snoop simultaneously. Fak sends Carmy a not-so-discreet thumbs-up that makes you giggle.
He's internally screaming at his so-called friends but is glad to see you. It was all he wanted before Sydney left to get their drinks. It's strange having you here at The Bear, though. He's so used to seeing you in your own space back at Bee Hive.
Trying to make things better, you say, "Sorry you've been roped into this. You probably have better things to do. I can go-"
Carmy doesn't let you finish. "No, stay. I want to show you around."
"Let's see what you got then, Berzatto," you grin, following him to the kitchen.
Carmy takes his time showing you The Bear. He wants you to stay. He wants to spend time with you but doesn't really know how to say it. So he takes it slow, answers your questions about the restaurant, shows you the front and how everything will be laid out, and introduces you to the ones around, including the fridge guy working on the handle.
Sadly, you get a call from Bee Hive asking you to come back. Carmy walks you outside, dreading having to say goodbye.
"I'm really excited for The Bear to open. You have a great place and team," you tell Carmy.
"I really got lucky with them, huh?" He asks, playing with a dish towel.
"I gotta go. I'll see you later, Berzatto." You don't know where you got the guts to lean towards him and kiss his cheek.
Carmy stays still as his face heats up. You start walking away and throw him a smile over your shoulder. When you're a distance away, he touches the cheek you kissed. Back inside, Richie runs over to Sugar to tell her what he just witnessed.
It's late when Carmy leaves The Bear. As he walks to the train station, he has his hands stuffed in his jacket pocket. On his way, he sees a lone light turned on in your cafĂŠ. Crossing the street to check it out, he sees you're still there with glasses perched on your nose in front of the computer.
He tries the door, and to his luck, it's open. You look in his direction, startled, but relax once you see it's him.
"Nice glasses," Carmy teases, pulling out a chair to sit.
"Are you making fun of me?" You purse your lips, propping your chin on your palm.
"No, IâŚI think you look cute with them," Carmy admits. After a stern talk from Sugar and Richie, he's realized he should probably make a proper move on you because if what they say is true, you also have a crush on him.
"Thanks," you blush, the light from your screen making it obvious to Carmy, who can't stop the corners of his lips from turning up into a smile.
"Late night?"
"One of my baristas is moving out of state. I have to find someone new, preferably who has experience," you say with a sigh. Glancing at him, you add, "Are you perhaps interested in the position?"
"Poaching me from my own restaurant, nice. I'll let you know I'm an excellent worker," Carmy jokes, tapping his fingers on the table.
There's no doubt in your mind he's an excellent worker. He has to be if he's considered one of the best up-and-coming chefs. Or to work in one of the best restaurants in the world with three Michelin stars.
"I don't know. I'll need references," you speak as if not believing him.
Carmy smiles and softly chuckles, "Fair enough."
There's a moment of silence between the two of you that Carmy is quick to fill, "So, uh, have you had dinner yet by chance?" This is it.
You shake your head no and look at him with hopeful eyes.
"Wanna go grab pizza? I know a place," he asks, finding your gaze on him.
"Say no more," you say, closing your laptop and taking off your glasses. "I'm starving."
Carmy waits for you to lock Bee Hive and grab your things. Then, you both walk to the pizza place. To pass the time, you and Carmy talk about your days and anything that comes to mind. Nothing serious as you get to know each other.
Waiting in line to order the pizza, you tell him all about your nickname and how you were donned 'Honey' to everyone who knows you. In return, he tells you about his nickname 'Bear' and why his restaurant is named as such. For the first time, he dares mention Mickey.
"Best pizza in Chicago," Carmy says, taking a slice of the pie and placing it on your plate.
"I'll see about that," you murmur. You wait until he has a slice of his own and dig in simultaneously.
"It's good, but this is not the best pizza place in Chicago," you say after chewing the first bite, "I'm gonna get your chef license revoked."
"Are you? With what proof? Have you tried all the pizza places to know?"
"I don't have to because I've tried the best," you hum, taking another bite. The cheese stretches as you pull it away.
"Oh yeah? Which one?" Carmy questions you, taking a drink of his beer.
"Mine. The pizza I make is the best," you shrug modestly.
"Wait. You cook?" Carmy asks, giving you a look of surprise.
Cooking is a universal thing. Most people know how to cook up to a degree, yet only some are as confident in their skills as you are. You know you're definitely not up to Carmy's level, but if there is something you know how to do properly, it's pizza.
"Yeah! You're not the only good cook here, Berzatto," you sass back at him, dipping the pizza crust in the marinara sauce.
"Sorry for assuming," he raises his palms.
"You're forgiven," you chirp.
"When will I try this famous pizza of yours then?" Carmy wonders. An attempt to see if you'd like to see more of him.
"I promise I'll make it for you once you open The Bear. You're too stressed to fully enjoy it now," you respond. You were reaching out. Throwing hints that you want this to continue in the foreseeable future.
The conversation continues to flow with an empty pizza box in front of you. Customers come and go until it's only the two of you and a drunk customer picking up his pizza.
"Tell me about your tattoos. Were they an act of rebellion or something else?"
It's an excuse to touch his hands. You reach for them, turning them to see the black ink on his hands and fingers. You gently trace over them with the pads of your fingers. Over the hand that's stabbed, the letters S.O.U. on his knuckles and the forget-me-nots. The one you're dying to touch, though, is the one on his bicep; you'd give anything to feel the hard muscle underneath the rolled-up sleeves of his white t-shirt.
"Uh, my first tattoo is the 773. Got it when I left Chicago for the first time. After that, I sort of became addicted to them. I found they helped my anxiety when it was becoming too much. The pain distracted me and made me feel stronger than I actually was," he says, letting you touch him. He finds that he likes it. Your touch is soft and warm. Comforting.
"So what you're trying to say is you're a masochist," you say, bouncing your eyebrows at him. Your touch goes further up his arm to turn it and look at the fish tattoo on his forearm.
"I guess so," Carmy responds with a breathy laugh, "Do you have any tattoos?"
"MaybeâŚ" You shrug as the pads of your fingers trail back down to his palm until you pull them back towards you. Carmy instantly misses the feeling, opting to cross his arms to retain the warmth you left behind.
"It's bad, isn't it?" He says knowingly. Your reaction told him everything he needed to know.
"The worst," you grimace, shaking your head at the memory of you getting it.
"So, rebellion or something else?"
"Rebellion. For all the wrong reasons," you groan, burying your face in your hands, "Growing up, everyone saw me as a good girl because that's what I was. Breaking the rules terrified me. So, as a teenager, I didn't want to be seen as a goody two shoes, so the summer before I went to college, I decided that getting a tattoo would make me a badass."
"Did it work?"
"God, no. I only got the outline done 'cause it hurt like a bitch. Then I went crying to my parents, fully having a meltdown, apologizing for disappointing them," You scrunch your nose as you say the following words, "They laughed in my face, called me a wimp, and told me to suck it up."
Carmy fully laughs at your story. Head thrown back, eyes closing, "What did you get?"
"That's a secret, Berzatto," you purse your lips, avoiding responding. You just know he'll make fun of you for it.
Everyone who has seen your tattoo has made fun of you for it, yourself included. It's so silly and not badass. Carmy will have to wait to see your tattoo, and you hope this continues so he can see it up close.
"Really? That bad?" Carmy stares wide-eyed.
"It's terrible," you nod, leaning on the table. "We should probably get going before the waitress throws a fit."
Carmy looks over his shoulder to see the waitress glaring at them. It's five minutes till close, and they've made no move to go. He turns back to you and nods towards the door. Carmy helps you with your jacket and leaves a tip on the jar for the waitress. At that, she happily calls after them with a 'Good night!'
"Do you live far?" Carmy asks, seeing how dark it is now that most places have closed. There are too many lamp posts that aren't working. He'd feel better if he could walk you home or you called an Uber. Preferably the former.
"Only a couple of blocks away. Why?"
"It's late. Let me walk you home," Carmy says decidedly, not giving you much of a choice.
"Thanks," you respond with a small smile.
The pace you set is slow. You don't want your time with Carmy to end just yet. He's such an interesting and sweet guy. He's a little awkward, but it adds to his charm, and you can see he's trying.
Somewhere along the way, his hand brushes against yours briefly. Then, it happens again, and you decide to bite the bullet. You grasp his hand in yours.
"Is this okay?" You ask when he falls silent.
Carmy doesn't have a lot of experience with girls. He can't even remember the last time he held a girl's hand. All he knows is he doesn't remember ever feeling this good. "Yes, uh, this is okay."
Carmy walks you up to your front door when you reach your house. You unlock the door but stay outside face-to-face with Carmy.
"Thanks for the pizza," you say, fiddling with your fingers. You were about to make one more move for the night. Because as long as Carmy allows you, you'll keep pushing for more.
"Sorry, it wasn't the best," he retorts, rubbing his jaw with his hand. You notice he does that a lot when nervous.
"Your company made up for it," you reassure him, "g'night Carmy." You kiss his cheek goodbye, watching as his cheeks blush.
"Night," he whispers.
As you turn to leave, Carmy stops you by grabbing your wrist, "Wait-uh, can I? Uh-shit. Fuck it." For a second, Carmy shuts out the excessive thoughts in his head and does what he's been dying to do for weeks.
Carmy cups your jaw and kisses you. It's soft and slow. He gives you enough leeway to pull away if it's something you don't want, but you reciprocate eagerly. You've been waiting for this all night.
As confidence surges through his body, Carmy throws an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. You wrap your arms around him, one of your hands resting on his neck, tangling on his curls. The tug of your fingers feels like heaven.
The kiss turns needy and desperate, your lips moving perfectly in sync. His tongue brushes over your lip; Carmy has been dying to test a theory. Are you as sweet as your name?
He's rewarded by a little noise in the back of your throat as he slips his tongue into your mouth. It's endearing, and he finds a way to make you do it again. With heads tilting to deepen the kiss, he concludes he was right. You're pure honey. Sweet and addicting.
When Carmy returns to his apartment, he gets the urge to create, to cook. He wants to bring your taste to life with his cooking. Something with honey.
"I was wondering if you'd want to come to the restaurant for Family and Friends."
You and Carmy are in your little office at Bee Hive. He stands between your legs as you sit on the desk. His lips are slightly red and swollen, and the hair at the nape of his neck is messier than usual.
"Hm, I could be persuaded," you pretend to think as you play with the golden chain around his neck, pulling him towards you.
"Yeah?" Carmy laughs, leaning to brush his lips against yours. When he feels you nod, he closes the small gap between the two of you.
His hands hold your hips, pulling you impossibly closer. He tastes like coffee, which is to be expected from the discarded cup beside you. It's funny how your relationship, if it could be called that, has moved all around Bee Hive from the register to the front and now to your office.
You're at a weird spot where you're not exactly friends because friends don't kiss, but you're not a couple either. It's a situationship for sure. You're content with what you have now, although you'd also love it if Carmy were to ask you to be more. You pin it on him being shy. He'll get around to it.
"What do you say?" Carmy questions as he kisses a trail from your cheek to your jaw.
"Consider me in," you giggle when he kisses a tickly spot.
Carmy brushes a strand of hair out of your face, remaining close to you. This is what he needs. After months of stress and anxiety of having to deal with The Beef, now The Bear, he needed you and your calming presence. Someone removed from the chaos, a safe haven.
He's quiet as his thoughts consume him, and you take the intimate position to fix his gold chain. Turning it so the clasp faces the back instead of the front. "I'm excited, Carmy," you say with a smile, brushing his cheek with your thumb.
"You can bring someone with you," Carmy offers nervously because he realizes he probably won't have the time to spend much time with you. "I-I don't think I'll be around much. I'm sorry. I'd understand if that makes you change your mind," Carmy drops his head as he braces himself for disappointment.
As the weeks pass, you learn more about Carmy and his insecurities. It doesn't deter you from wanting to be with him. Everyone has their issues. "Berzatto, stop. Look at me," you softly divert his attention, "I'd love to go and support you even if it's from the sidelines."
"You sure?" He asks once more.
If reassurance is what he needs, that's what you'll give. "Don't worry about me. This is your moment, Carmy. Enjoy it. I'll be around afterward."
"Thank you for understanding," Carmy responds, stealing one more kiss from you.
When he returns to The Bear, he helps Sydney prep the dishes they finally chose to serve. He notes how everything is laid out and anything they should fix before opening.
Richie struts into the kitchen with a suit on. Apparently, it's his thing now. Carmy figures staging at Chef Terry's restaurant had a good impact on him. All Carmy wanted was to show Richie he had what it takes. That he's not a fuck up.
"Glad to see things are going well with Honey," Richie thunders.
"What are you talking about?" Carmy says in a rush as he plates the lamb expertly.
"That thing on your neck," Richie says, motioning to his own neck. He has a smug look on his face.
"I don't have time for this, cousin," Carmy grumbles, wiping the plate where the sauce might've splattered.
Groaning, Richie grabs one of the new pans and holds it in front of Carmy. "I don't see anything," he frowns, looking at Richie for an explanation.
"Right here," Richie points towards the edge of his t-shirt around his neck.
Carmy pulls it back and finally spots what Richie has been referring to. There is a fading purple bruise on his skin, a hickey. You must've done it when he was back in your office. He'd been too busy touching you to notice.
Sydney, silently watching, pipes up, "No wonder he hasn't been as on edge lately." Carmy shoots her a glare, which causes her to shrug and laugh with a, "What? It's true."
"Ay, yo, Sugar, get in here!" Richie yells down the hall to the office.
"What is it?" Natalie barges in, afraid something went to shit.
Carmy ignores Richie as he babbles to Natalie what he found. His face is red, though, as Sydney nudges his side.
"That's enough about me. We have shit to do," Carmy shouts in his chef's voice.
Everyone in the kitchen, including Richie and Natalie, repeats, "Yes, chef!"
Walking out of the kitchen Richie, 'whispers' to Natalie, "I've always wondered if he likes to be called chef in bed."
"Fuck off, Richie," Natalie glares, but then it falls, and it's replaced with a teasing grin, "He definitely does."
"I heard that! Don't you two have better things to do?" Carmy screams at them.
"Yes, chef!"
Carmy keeps hearing Cicero's 'Uh-oh' throughout the whole day. He understands Cicero, he really does, but to call you a distraction?
His work with The Bear is only starting. They managed to make it to Friends and Family. Now, they have to keep up their best work to fill up the restaurant daily and have a waiting list. His work is far from done. He should listen to Cicero.
Cicero said it with the best of intentions. He doesn't want the Berzatto siblings to fail. He wants to believe they'll succeed and, most importantly, get him his money.
If there is something Cicero has learned throughout the years, it is that girls are distractions. They mean well, but oftentimes, they keep your eyes off the ball. Especially when it's a new relationship like Carmy's. Ultimately, it's up to Carmy to decide what he wants to do. Cicero has played his part by giving him his advice.
One last delivery is made to the restaurant an hour before opening. Richie is the one to receive it and place it in front of Carmy. "She's a keeper, Cousin," he says with a pointed look and a nod. He also wants the best for Carmy, and yet it doesn't align with Cicero.
You knew Carmy would be too stressed and all over the place to eat or drink, so you sent everyone at The Bear a drink and a pastry. One of the cups has Carmen's name with a little heart and 'good luck' written on it.
"Yeah, she is," Carmy sighs, turning the cup in his hands to look at the message. His thumb brushes over your handwriting longingly. Is listening to Cicero the wise thing to do? He's one of the most successful men he knows in his family.
When it's 10 minutes till open, Carmy changes into his uniform and looks in the mirror. His heart is racing, begging for Friends and Family not to be a complete failure. Walking out of the bathroom, Carmy is a man on a mission.
It starts relatively well, but like everything in Carmy's life, the kitchen starts welcoming in the chaos.
They are too slow getting the orders out, which causes Sydney to start doubting herself and asking Carmy to step in. He reassures her she's doing good. They just have to keep up the pace.
Then, one of the new chefs disappears mid-rush. Forcing Tina to work two stations and Marcus to step out of his to help Sydney. Carmy ignores some weird tension between them as he works on ensuring the dishes are good to go.
Next thing he knows, Sugar is rushing into the kitchen, yelling at him about forks. It's wasted time, as he can't do anything about it. A shrill reverberates inside his head as he looks at the ticking clock. It's enough to give him a headache.
With no one to take a dish to its table, Carmy takes it upon himself to do it. There's no time to re-fire or wait for someone. He places it on their table and pours the tea into their cups before retreating with an 'enjoy.'
He looks at his restaurant, and suddenly, the ringing in his head gets louder. Sitting in a booth is his old boss, staring back at him like he did back in New York. Like he was waiting for Carmy to fail.
His voice echoes in Carmy's head. Why are you so fuckin' slow. Hurry up. Go faster motherfucker. Talentless piece of shit.
Right before Carmy spirals, it all goes away. His focus shifts entirely as he sees you taking your seat for the night. The one he chose because he'd be able to see you from the kitchen. You have successfully blocked the mirage he'd conjured up.
You're there with your brother as Richie talks you up, thanking you for coming. As if sensing him, your eyes lock with Carmys. Shyly, you send him a wave, which he returns, thanking you in his head for getting there at the perfect time.
Carmy ducks back to the kitchen with newfound energy. Richie enters shortly after him.
"Chef, your girl is here."
"Thanks, Chef, um, do you have the notepad?" Carmy asks as he continues cleaning dishes and making sure each one is up to par.
"Here you go."
Taking the notepad from Richie, he begins scribbling. I love- No, too fuckin' soon. Thank you for- Nope, it's too stale.
I'm happy you're here, Honey. Wait for me after you're done? -Bear
"Here," Carmy hands it to him without even looking at Richie.
"Keep up the good work, Chefs," Richie yells out to the room before disappearing to the front of the house. The door swinging shut behind him.
"Yes, Chef!"
Something isn't working in the kitchen. They're too backed up, and no matter how hard they try, they're always a tad too slow. Through Sydney surrounding the wheel to Richie, Carmy steals glances out the kitchen window. You're smiling at whatever your brother says, your lips sipping the wine he chose. Carmy can get through this night because, in the end, you'll be waiting for him.
"There he is," you sing as you spot Carmy walking out of the kitchen. The chef's whites back in his locker as he sports his white t-shirt, jeans, and jacket.
Fak, who kept you company while Carmy finished up, speaks up next, "My brother, I'm gonna grab a sandwich and head home. Honey, it was a pleasure meeting you."
"You too, Neil!"
"Thanks for everything," Carmy tells him, giving him a hug and a pat like dudes do.
Carmy turns and grabs your hand to pull you close and kiss your cheek. "What did you think?"
"It was the most delicious thing I've ever tasted," you tell him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
There's a reason Carmy has had so many accolades despite his young age. He has a gift in the kitchen. The moment his food touched your taste buds, your life changed. He and Sydney outdid themselves, and the way everything flowed showed how much work they put into the restaurant.
"You're exaggerating," Carmy modestly says, his arms wrapping around your waist.
"I'm really not," you shake your head, pursing your lips. Carmy can't resist placing a small peck on your red-painted lips.
"What about your famous pizza?"
"No, it might be the best pizza in Chicago, but whatever I ate today topped it," you smile at him, scrunching your nose. "Consider your chef's license reinstated,"
"Thanks," Carmy laughs breathily, "Do you mind if we walk? I feel some of the rush still."
"Lead the way, Mr. Berzatto."
Carmy grabs your hand, leading you to the streets of Chicago. It's silent momentarily as the wind cools Carmy's heated face. He places his hand along with yours into his pocket.
"Did your brother like it?" He asks, breaking the ice.
"Oh yeah. I'm officially like the best sister ever," you respond, squeezing his hand.
You had accidentally forgotten that your brother had passed the Bar exam. So, you didn't have time to get him anything in celebration. You figured dinner at a lovely new restaurant would help while you got him a proper present.
"How did you feel throughout, though? It looked intense." You often found yourself looking through the small glass window into the kitchen. They were always on the move, looking for the next thing to do.
"It didn't just look like it. I'm used to it, though," Carmy admits with a sniff. Everyone's best and worst habits shone through for those couple of hours. It's an environment he's all too familiar with, in and out of the kitchen.
"That rough," you grimace.
"It's fine. We have a lot to work on, but it's a start, and it wasn't entirely terrible," Carmy says, thinking back on tonight. Before coming out to meet you, he wrote down a couple of things to go through with Sugar and Sydney.
"Good, 'cause I hope The Bear sticks around the block," you say, bumping your shoulder with his.
You invite Carmy into your house when you arrive. He takes up your offer, holding your hand to help you balance as you take your heels off. It reminds Carmy he forgot to mention how beautiful you looked today.
He follows you to the kitchen, watching your hips sway and your dress skirt swishing. Padding to the wine fridge, you pick out a bottle of red to celebrate.
Carmy indulges in looking at your legs as you stretch up to reach for the glasses of wine up in your cabinets. His blue eyes darken as your dress hikes up, exposing your pretty thighs.
His gaze darts back up at you when you turn around to place the glasses on the kitchen counter. You hand him the wine opener so he can do the honors because you suck at taking the cork out. It's why you mainly stick to cheaper wines with twist-off caps.
"Here is to The Bear and its amazing owner," you say, lifting your glass in front of you.
"Here's to not fuckin' it up entirely," Carmy follows, making you giggle. Your wine glasses clink, and you take a drink.
Placing the glass back down, Carmy pins you against the counter, his strong hands resting on the edge of it. You look at him through your lashes, a hand coming up to his chest to feel the steady thumping of his heart.
"You look beautiful. I like the dress," Carmy murmurs. It's better late than never.
The dress you wear is a pretty shade of light blue. Simple yet dressy. The neckline gives him a good view of your cleavage and has long sleeves to compensate for the shorter length. They currently cover the goosebumps lining your skin.
"Yeah? I picked it out thinking you might," you reveal, biting your lip. The shade reminded you of his eyes.
"You were right," he whispers, cupping your jaw. As pretty as the dress is, he's sure it'll look so much better on the floor.
Carmy closes his eyes as he leans down to kiss you. He's always struggled with words, so he hopes it's enough for you to catch what he's trying to say.
You smile into the kiss, blindly leaving your glass to the side to be able to touch him. Your palm presses against his chest and taut abdomen. He hides a nice amount of muscle under his t-shirts, a pleasant surprise.
Carmy easily lifts you up to sit down on the kitchen island. He steps between your legs, never breaking the heated kiss. The hands on your waist trail down to your thighs and under your dress. Carmy's tattooed hands squeeze your ass and thighs, earning him a moan from you.
This is the farthest you've ever gotten, and you're more than ready to have all of him. Carmy knows this, which leads to his thoughts getting out of control.
He has to make a decision now. Does he allow himself to be with you, or does he remain by himself like always? Richie's, Sugar's, Cicero's, and Sydney's voices all shout at him different things. Some are in favor, and others are in opposition. 'Uh oh.'
He can't lead you on and sleep with you if he will back out tomorrow. The voices become deafening in an instant, ripping him away from your embrace. His emotions bubbled over and spilled all over the place.
"Wait, stop, I just-" Carmy breathes heavily, taking a couple of steps back from you. Carmy's hand comes up to his forehead as he attempts to organize his thoughts.
"What's wrong?" You ask worriedly. Did you do something wrong?
Carmen's thoughts spill out his mouth without making much sense as he paces in your kitchen. "I can't stop thinking about it and owe it to my team..."
"Carm?" You slide off the kitchen counter, approaching him slowly.
"-keeps saying it's a distraction," he rambles mostly to himself. His heart is pounding painfully in his chest. If he didn't know any better, he'd think he was having a heart attack.
"Hey, hey, hey. What's a distraction?" Softly, you grab onto his arms, stopping him in his tracks, trying to find his lost gaze.
"You. Whatever this is," Carmy breathes, finally meeting your eyes, which he instantly regrets as your eyes turn sad.
The watering of your eyes is unintentional, as is the knot forming in your throat. "You think I'm distracting you?" You question barely above a whisper.
His response is instant, "Fuck, no, the opposite. W-When I'm with you or-or think about you, things get clearer, and it's-it's when I feel the most focused." Carmy holds your shoulders, comforting you because he never meant to hurt you. He can't stand the sad look in your eyes.
Slowly, you begin to piece together his rambling and conclude that other people have been telling him you're a distraction. You wonder if they don't want him to be happy. The Bear is the center of Carmy's life, and before that, it was the restaurant in New York. He deserves more than this crazy job.
"Then fuck what others tell you, Carmen. You deserve to have a life outside The Bear." Maybe you're selfish because you don't want to lose him, but you hope he believes your words.
"I-I don't. I don't deserve all your attention or your affection. I'm nothing special. I don't deserve you." Carmy says, shaking his head with furrowed brows.
Weeks ago, he had no source of enjoyment. He said it himself at the support group. Now, he has you, yet he can't bear the thought of you wanting to be with him. He feels like he's tricking you into a bad deal. That's what he is, though, isn't he? An overachieving fuck up with tons upon tons of baggage.
Carmen Berzatto is an anxious person with too many problems in his life. He has a fucked up family. His mother is a mentally unstable alcoholic. His brother was addicted to painkillers and decided that shooting himself on a bridge was better than living this life. That's without mentioning all the trauma he has from his job and the terrible people he's worked with.
What good does he have to offer you?
"Yes, you do," you reassure him, placing your hands on his cheeks. The cool metal of your rings soothes him somewhat, grounding him. "You deserve all that and more, Carmy. You're so sweet and kind and hard-working. You've been through shit. You deserve something good in life. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's not, but don't close yourself off."
You're begging at this point. Whatever this relationship is, it's just starting. He's not giving himself a chance. You like Carmy so damn much. He's funny without knowing it and thoughtful, too. There are so many qualities he doesn't realize he has.
His eyes watch you as tears line them. He's silently pleading for you to convince him. To get him out of his own head and forget the expectations others have on him.
"I'm not going to force you into anything, Carm. It's your call, but I've enjoyed our last couple of months together. I know we don't know each other completely, but I want to know everything about you. I have feelings for you, so whatever you decide, I'll support it."
Being honest is all you can do at this point. You pour your heart out and hope Carmy chooses you.
You and Carmy stand in the middle of your kitchen. Face to face, reaching out towards each other. It's clear as day that you want the same thing. It's only a matter of taking the right steps now.
"I can't let you go," Carmy responds, grabbing the hand on his cheek. His thumb brushes over the back of it.
"Then don't."
Carmy's decision is made. Without another thought, he smashes his lips against yours. He grabs the back of your neck, tilting your head to meet his heated kiss.
It's more intense now that the cards are on the table. Nothing to hold him back.
Tongues clash together as your bodies seek each other out. The temperature rises when Carmy lifts you up to wrap your legs around his hips. His hands are on the back of your thighs, holding tight onto you.
"Bedroom?" He asks, breaking the kiss, a trail of saliva between the two of you.
"Down the hallway," you breathe heavily, kissing down his neck.
Carmy makes it to the bedroom, opening the door with a bang. He spots your bed, placing you in the middle with him holding himself up on top of you.
He watches as your back meets the bed and your fair fans around you like a halo. The curvature of your breasts accentuated even more from the position.
Carmy hikes your leg further up his hips as he dips down to kiss a wet trail down to the neckline of your dress. He leaves open-mouthed kisses on the rounded flesh, nipping at the skin playfully when you arch your back to push more into him.
"Carmy," you breathe, cupping his jaw to pull him back to your lips. Grinding your hips, you manage to graze against his bulge.
"Shit," Carmy shakily curses, thrusting his hips to meet your touch once more.
Curiously, your hands wander across his body. Carmy's moans in your ear make your panties wetter than they already are.
You grasp the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off. You're desperate to have him, your cunt aches for him. Your nails scratch down his firm stomach when he bites into your earlobe, softly calling your name.
"Unzip me," you pant, pushing him away and pulling your hair off to the side.
Carmy grabs the small zipper, pushing it down and exposing your pretty skin. As he slides the fabric off of you, he kisses your shoulders and back, taking note of the goosebumps on your skin.
His mind is in the present, and nothing can take it away from him. It's like a switch he managed to turn off in his brain. No more family drama, no more The Bear. It's just you...and him. Honey and Bear.
You stretch your neck to the side, giving Carmy more space to pepper kisses across the delicate skin. The dress pooling at your feet exposes your chest, and Carmy's hands come up from behind you. His fingers shyly brush up your stomach, tickling you, until they find your breasts.
He draws a moan from you as he squeezes them in his palms, pushing you back to meet his chest; turning your head to the side, you find his lips.
The kiss breaks when he slides one of his hands into your underwear, dipping his finger to feel your wetness. Your arm reaches back to dig your fist in his curls.
"You're soaked, Honey," he moans, finding your clit to tease it.
"Been waiting for so long, Carmy," you whine as your hips stutter along with the flicks of his wrist.
"I'm sorry. I'm here now," he purrs into your ear.
Carmy can hear the distinct 'shlick, shlick, shlick' of his fingers against your clit. It spurs him on as he slips a finger into you. He can't wait to have his cock inside of you, snug and warm.
"Oh my god, Carmen," you gasp when he prods another finger into your entrance. Hanging onto his arm across your chest, you roll your hips against his fingers.
"I got you," he says, digging his fingers deeper into you and curling them.
Your knees buckle as the tips of his fingers curl and hit your g spot repeatedly. If it weren't for him, you'd be on the floor. With your tummy tensing under the weight of the pleasure, you stutter out, "I'm gonna cum."
Carmy's hand is wet from your juices as he ups the ante. Just as your walls begin to squeeze around his fingers, he pulls them out to circle around your clit.
"Oh, f-fuck!" You squeal, throwing your head back onto his shoulder.
The way your clit softly twitches under the pads of his fingers fucks with Carmy. It makes his cock throb and leak into his jeans.
Untangling from his embrace, you place a breathless kiss on Carmy's lips. His slick digits dig into your hips as he prolongs it.
Blindly, you find the edge of his jeans and unbutton them. If Carmy notices, he doesn't say anything. You want to give him one more reason to stay with you.
He moans into your mouth when you grasp his length through his boxers. He's rock hard as he desperately ruts against your hand.
With your hold still on him, you push him to sit on the bed. Carmy looks up at you lustfully. You plant a single short kiss on his lips before kneeling on the floor between his legs. You leave love bites down his chest while looking up at him through your lashes.
Carmy brushes away any hair that falls on your face, his blue eyes focused solely on you. When you reach the waistband of his pants, you pull them down along with his underwear.
His length pops up from its confines, slapping against his tummy. Its tip is a pretty pink shade, with a thick length and a slight curve to it. You salivate instantly at the sight of it.
Carmy's nervous under you. It's been a long since he's been with someone else, and he's never been the most confident.
"Relax," you say teasingly, kissing around his lower tummy to calm him.
Finally, your hand wraps around his cock, lightly pumping it. Leaving sloppy kisses down his happy trail, you feel Carmy's stomach taut in anticipation.
It's been so fuckin' long.
With your eyes staring into his hungry ones, you kiss the pink head that glistens with pre, teasingly brushing it against your lips. Keeping eye contact, you lick his length from base to tip. You alternate between kissing and licking for a minute, enjoying watching Carmy squirm.
"Fuck, Honey," Carmy throws his head back at your torturous pace.
"Look at me," you sweetly say.
Taking mercy on him, you part your lips to take his length into your warm, wet mouth, bobbing your head to a steady rhythm. Prying one of Carmy's hands from the bedsheets, you place it in your hair, encouraging him to use you.
"Good girl," he moans, fisting your hair to force you to take more of his cock. You let your hands rest on his thighs, feeling the strong muscles underneath.
Carmen observes you with hooded eyes as you hollow your cheeks, sucking him expertly. He's obsessed with how your lips leave behind a tinge of red lipstick on his skin.
"Shit-Fuck me," he yells into the room when you swallow around him.
You want him to cum, but Carmy has other plans. He doesn't think he'll last long if you make him cum now, so after the stunt you pulled, he pulls you off his sensitive cock.
The sight in front of him is erotic as a string of saliva connects you to his cock. The tears lining your eyes and blushed nose add to that pretty picture.
"c'me 'ere," he says, helping you up and kissing you as he leads you back to the bed. He tugs off your wet panties, throwing them somewhere in the room.
You lay back on your pillows with Carmy slotted between your legs. It's torture having him so close and yet so far. Now that you've gotten a taste of his cock you need more.
Carmy touches the inside of your thighs, inching his way closer to your cunt. He instantly notices how fuckin' wet you are. You're dripping even more than before.
"Sucking me off, got you this wet, princess?" He asks, leaning his forehead against yours.
"Mhm, Carmy, wish you would've cum in my mouth," you admit, tilting your head up to brush your lips against his.
"You have such a dirty fuckin' mouth," he chuckles darkly.
Where did this side of you come from? You're usually so sweet and delicate. He should've known you would be a freak in bed. To think he almost let this all go.
"Carmen, please."
"Please, what?" Carmen teases, lining his cock against your opening, wetting his cock.
"Fuck me," you moan, kissing his jaw.
"'m gonna fuck you good, princess," he promises, with a shaky nod before he remembers, "Fuck! I-I don't have a condom with me."
"I should have some in my drawer," you mention breathlessly.
Carmy opens the condom in record time but is surprised when you take it from his hands and roll it down his shaft yourself. You just want an excuse to keep touching him.
With your leg hiked up, he aligns himself and slowly pushes in. You both gasp at the sensation. Carmy, for one, is trying to not bust a nut so soon because you're so tight and warm.
Meanwhile, you hold onto Carmy's back as he stretches you out. It's been so long, and your toys aren't nearly as thick as him. You breathily moan in his ear, which he takes as a good sign as he begins thrusting more forcefully and deeper.
Carmy hopes this isn't a dream, and if it is, he hopes he doesn't wake up anytime soon. He has one hand holding onto your thigh and the other holding himself up. His gold chain dangles above you as he picks his head up from its spot on your shoulder. You take the chance to tug on it, returning his attention to your lips.
"You feel so fuckin' good, princess," Carmy groans, squeezing your thigh.
"I love your cock, Carmy," you whine, feeling the drag of his cock on your walls. The pleasure is all-consuming, leaving a fuzzy feeling in your brain.
"You like when I fuck you like this?"
"Yes, yes, yes, keep going."
His hips snap hard against yours, hitting that spot each and every time. His pelvis hitting your clit. He squeezes your thigh, hips, and sides before his hand squeezes your tits, too, playing with your nipples.
Suddenly, he straightens up, pulling you down the bed to have you flushed against his pelvis. He's a sight for sore eyes that forces you to keep your eyes open.
His thrusts are more forceful like this, where he digs his fingers into the fat of your hips to pull you towards him with each snap. It makes your tits bounce, hypnotizing him.
Through your lustful gaze, he looks like a marble statue. His chest glimmers under the lowlights of your room as sweat clings to him, his chain jumping against the blushed skin of his chest, and his fucking hair falling over his pretty eyes. The set of his jaw could've been sculpted by Michaelangelo himself.
Your hands indulgently reach down to touch him in any way you can. You can only reach his stomach, where a nice pair of abs appear due to the effort.
"You like what you see?" Carmy teases. He's entirely lost on you because otherwise, he wouldn't be as cocky to say that.
"You're so handsome," you pitifully say. Your brain not computing as it should, but how can it when it's being fucked out of you?
Carmy doesn't know how to respond. It's not often he's called handsome or looked at as lustfully as you're looking at him. Thankfully, he doesn't need to say much as your eyes roll back and you squeeze your walls around him.
"Carmy, I'm so close," you pant, trying to find any part of him to hold. He offers you his hand, lacing your fingers together.
"Just a little longer, princess," Carmy groans as you clench around him. "Fuck, don't do that to me."
He glances down at the spot where you and him meet to see a ring of white on the base of his cock. He's enthralled with the way you stretch to accommodate him and the way your pink walls drag along his length when he pulls out. Fuckin' beautiful.
Putting all his knowledge to use, he thumbs your clit, making you jolt. He needs you to cum now, or he won't make it. His balls feel like they're about to burst.
"Carmy," you cry out, tightening the hold on his hand.
You teeter on the edge for only a second until you cum, waves of pleasure washing over you. Carmy curses from above you as your tightening walls choke his cock, making him cum too. He stutters his hips a couple more times, riding out his orgasm.
He leans back down again, catching your lips in a small kiss. His body slowly relaxes against yours as his head rests on your neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and perfume.
"That was good," you breathe heavily, rubbing your hands up and down your back. You're just starting to think clearly.
"Fuckin' amazing," he adds.
There's a beat of silence before you both burst out laughing.
A bubble encases you, and it can't be popped as long as you stay in your bedroom. Carmy doesn't want to leave; it's late already, and in a couple of hours, he has to get up and go to The Bear to repeat the process.
For once, he forgets about that and focuses solely on you. He has a couple of hours to spare. Sleep is overrated.
You face each other on the bed, talking in hushed whispers. Your fingers trace the '773' tattoo on his bicep like you've always wanted to do. It tickles Carmy, so he grabs your hand and kisses your palm.
"Now that I'm thinking about it. I didn't see your tattoo," he whispers to prevent disturbing the peace.
Your face warms at his words. You had forgotten about that. He's seen a lot of you in the past couple of hours. What's a bit more of skin?
"You missed my big bad tattoo?" you joke, poking his nose.
"Show me," he says with a lopsided smile.
You make it dramatic, rolling your eyes and giving him a big sigh. Sitting up on the bed, you peel the bed sheets from your body. Carmy props himself up on his elbow in anticipation.
Right there, on your left side and under the curve of your breast is a small outline of Winnie the Pooh's face. Carmy touches it, biting his lip to hold back a laugh. Unsurprisingly, it's precisely what he expected from you.
A few chuckles pass his lips as he pulls you back into his arms.
"Don't laugh. It made sense at the time," you whine, covering yourself back up.
Carmy pulls you to his chest, kissing your temple, "I'm sure it does. Pooh Bear loves his Honey," Just like he does.
"Exactly! Someone gets it!"
And he does because Carmy, aka The Bear, is quickly falling for his Honey.
A couple of days later, Carmy is back at your house helping you prepare the famous pizza you promised him. He lets you take the lead on everything, preferring to follow your instructions rather than let his mind run wild. It's not like you'll let him do most of the work anyway; it's your recipe, and you're protective over it.
"Can you chop up the veggies?" You ask him as you lay down the dough in a pan.
"Yes, Chef," he nods, kissing your cheek as he digs through your kitchen drawers for a knife.
"Oh, I like the sound of that," you muse, shaking your shoulders as you knead the dough to spread it.
"Don't let it get to your head, Hun," Carmy smiles, slicing the vegetables expertly.
Cooking with Carmy is surprisingly easier than you thought. He's not controlling over the kitchen or judgy. He lets you do your thing in peace, following your orders no matter how strange they might be. This is your kitchen, not his.
As you spread the sauce and cheese over one of the doughs, Carmy gets a call. He wipes his hands with a rag and picks it up. You only hear his side of the conversation.
"No, I'm off tonight. I'm with my girl. Call Sugar. She should be able to help you with that. Great. Thanks."
Carmy had promised himself that he would try to balance it all better. He has his team to help each other out. The Bear is a priority, but so are you because you help him keep whatever sanity he has left.
Carmy hangs up, and when he returns to you, he notices the grin on your lips as you put the toppings he chopped on the pizza.
"What's with the smile?" Carmy stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he props his head on your shoulder. Your hair tickles his nose, smelling the notes of coconut of your shampoo he digs his head farther into it.
"I'm your girl?" You ask, the smile still present on your face. He'd missed your initial reaction when you heard him call you 'my girl.' You almost dropped the container of pepperoni that was in your hands. It's a shock cause he never asked you to be his girl.
Carmy pauses and tenses up against you. "Uh, yes? Hold up. Turn around," he orders, as he places his hand on your hips to turn your body around.
"Yes, chef," you respond cheekily, your arms around his neck, careful not to touch his sweater with your messy hands.
"Aren't you my girl?" He frowns, rubbing a thumb over your hips.
"I could be, but I don't remember you asking," you pretend to think.
Carmy never directly asked you to be his girlfriend, and you never asked him to be your boyfriend. You might as well be a couple since you've been dating long enough. You decide to seize the opportunity now to get it out of him. Having a proper anniversary day would be nice because you hope this lasts.
"I see, my mistake," Carmy nods, catching your vibe, "HoneyâŚ"
"Yes, Carmy?" You blink innocently at him.
"Would you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?" He finally asks.
You could joke around but decided against it cause the moment is perfect, "I'd love to," you nod, giving him a small kiss.
When the pizza is cooked, you bring it over to the dining table. Serving Carmy a pretty slice. Excitedly, you wait for him to bite into it and taste it.
"What do you think?" You ask expectantly.
"You were right. Best pizza in Chicago," Carmy agrees with an unbelievable laugh. He's got a lot to learn from you. It's the truth, or maybe he's blinded by his feelings. Only time will tell where you and Carmy will end up.
The End?
thank you guys for pulling through and reading! i know it's a slow burn but i hope you liked it! i certainly enjoyed writing it even though it took me like 4 months.
if you liked it, i would appreciate you liking it, commenting or reblogging. if you have some feedback feel free to send it my way too. i wanna get better at this whole writing thing!
thank you! bye xx
#carmen berzatto#carmy berzatto x reader#fanfiction#carmy berzatto#carmy the bear#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#the bear#carmy x reader#carmy x you#carmy x fem!reader
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A Package Deal - Part 4
In which the real world threatens to ruin your happiness.
Warnings: angsttttttttt :) fluff at the end tho!! Pairing: Lando x SingleMom!Reader Word Count: 3.6k words
- A Package Deal - A Package Deal - Part 2 - A Package Deal - Part 3 - Master List
yourusername (private) posted:
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yourusername life lately â¤ď¸ BFFSarah omg, someone who loves pizza just as much as Stelly Belly??? >>>yourusername they polished off a large pizza between the two of them. It was a sight to see. >>>land-ho WE WERE HUNGRY. >>>yourusername you bet my six year old she couldn't eat 4 pieces of pizza, sir. >>>land-ho AND SHE PUT DOWN FIVE! Proudest moment of my LIFE. >>>yourusername đ
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land-ho party of three? smoooooth_operator it was good to see you two last night! >>>yourusername dinner was delicious, C!! tell R thank you for all the shopping reccos in Barcelona đ¤ >>>landonorris oh god, my wallet already hurts >>>yourusername well now i'm never going to beat the sugar baby allegations. >>>honeybadger y'all are a walking PR nightmare waiting to happen. kelly_pickme i must meet your two favorite girls soon! bring them to Monaco soon! >>>yourusername đ did L give M the lion plushie and princess dress for baby and P? can't wait to meet you all soon!! >>>kelly_pickme yes! P hasn't taken it off and the lion is a hit as well. >>>yourusername â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Miami May, 2025
"Okay, anything else you guys want to talk about before we start filming?" Victor, the team's head of communications, asks on Thursday afternoon.
Victor sits in one of the several conference rooms located in McLaren's hospitality suite surrounded by the rest of the communications team as well as Lando and Oscar. The weekend debrief is wrapping up as he asks one last question.
"Actually, kind of." Lando clears his throat, rubbing his palms on his jeans.
The entire team turns to him then and he feels his face go a bit red. He hadn't really planned on making a big deal of this in front of the team but after his meeting with Zak earlier, he thought he should at least let the comms team in on what he was going to do tonight.
"What's up?" Victor prompts, tucking his iPad under his arm.
"Well, it's more of a 'heads up' kind of thing but Zak thought I should let you guys know that I'm planning on going public with my girlfriend tonight."
Out of the corner of his eye, Lando sees Oscar smirk. He can almost hear the 'well it's about time' teasing he's about to get when they wrap up this meeting.
Victor blinks, casting a sideways glance at Melanie, Lando's main press officer for the weekend. He could tell Victor was reluctant to agree but in all honesty, this wasn't his call and Lando was ready to make that known. "What were you planning on doing?"
Melanie pulls out a notepad to take notes, just in case she's asked about the relationship this weekend.
You were also in Miami this weekend for your second race of the season and the subject had come up last night as you were cuddled up in bed after Lando had posted about you and Stella on his private account for the first time. You had been hesitant at first, not wanting to bring the team or Lando any drama during the race weekend but he had been insistent. While you hadn't been together officially for very long, you spent nearly every spare moment together and Stella had become a huge part of Lando's life too. He was tired of being linked to endless Instagram models and having to hide you away from the public.
Lando shrugs. "Nothing big or anything, just a post of my feed with her, some kind of witty caption."
"She's the one who works in the accounting department?" Melanie asks.
Lando can't help but glare at the woman. She's in her mid-30s with mousey brown hair and wire rimmed glasses. Melanie was kind enough but sometimes Lando wondered if she had any of the media training that was forced on him and Oscar with the kinds of questions she asked him.
"No, she's on the product development team, and she's right over there." Lando tips his chin towards the large glass windows that looks out onto the rest of the hospitality suite where you sit at one of the tables typing away at your laptop.
"Isn't she a single mom?"
Again, Lando glares at Melanie as the rest of the team shifts uncomfortably in their seat. Sure, it was their job to handle any press inquiries that came into the office and sometimes there were personal questions that got asked, but that one was toeing the line of appropriate.
"I don't see why that makes any sort of difference." Oscar surprises everyone by speaking up, his tone a bit colder than usual. "I've worked with her a lot lately, she's a lovely person and wicked smart. Lando's a lucky guy."
"Thanks, mate." Lando murmurs before turning back to Victor. "HR is aware of our relationship and, not that it should matter," Lando looks pointedly at Melanie once again, and is pleased to see her look a bit sheepish as if she's just realized how inappropriate her questions had been. "But Zak is also aware that we're together and has given us his blessing too."
That had been an awkward conversation but Lando admired the McLaren CEO too much to leave him in the dark about something that involved his two employees. He'd scoured the McLaren employee handbook (thankfully there was nothing in it against fraternization of employees, so HR hadn't been a problem either) before approaching Zak first to tell him about the relationship. If there was anyone that Zak Brown loved more than Lando, it was you so of course he had been ecstatic at the news and had immediately given the relationship his full support.
Without waiting for further comment from anyone, Lando gets up and strides out the door, furious at how the ending of the meeting had gone. There were far more problematic WAGs in the paddock and you were a McLaren employee after all, shouldn't you expect the same support from the team as he did? He didn't really understand why it was such a big deal that you were a single mom or technically a coworker.
From your spot in the middle of the hospitality suite you can see when Lando walks out of the conference room, hyper aware of the way his shoulders are hitched up towards his ears, something that only happens when he's upset or stressed.
"Momma!" Your attention is drawn back to your phone where Stella sits on FaceTime before her bath for the evening. You'd been distracted by Lando's sudden shift in mood and had stopped listening to her mid-story.
"Sorry, baby. I'm listening. You and Cora had a good playdate today, yeah?"
Stella prattles on, seemingly satisfied with the half-attention you're now paying her again. But your focus is pulled elsewhere for a moment as you watch a girl you know is on the comms team follow Lando out of the conference room and into his drivers room. You couldn't remember her name but knew that she was working with Lando this weekend as his press officer so it didn't impress you as unusual that she was following him. Maybe something had been said in the meeting and she was going to try to calm him down.
"Momma, can I talk to Lando now?" Stella sighs and you grin. You were beginning to think that your daughter loved Lando a bit more than you the way she constantly asked about him and wanted to see him.
"I think he just walked into a meeting, S but how about we do this. Why don't you go take a bath and by the time you're done, Lando should be finished with his meeting and you can talk to him then."
Stella nods, seemingly happy about the arrangement. You say a quick goodbye before packing up your laptop to go check in on Lando. You were essentially done for the day so you had planned on hanging out with a few of the engineers during their meetings this afternoon before going to dinner with Lando later that night. And then you fully planned on spending the rest of the evening underneath your boyfriend.
You can see the door to Lando's driver's room ajar and you can hear raised voices floating out. Hesitating, you pause with your hand on the door handle. The conversation sounded heated and you didn't want to interrupt. You swear you didn't want to eavesdrop but Lando's shouting didn't leave you much choice.
"What the fuck do you mean the team doesn't want a 'Kelly Piquet 2.0 situation?"
Oh. Oh dear.
You had known Lando was going to tell the team of his plan to hard launch you on his socials tonight and by the sounds of it, it hadn't gone well.
"Lando," The woman, you think her name is Melanie or something, tries to sooth him. "All we're saying is maybe you should think of how this could impact her daughter. When Max and Kelly went public, it was a shit show."
"Yeah, because her father is a racist piece of shit." He spits.
"And she was accused of being a predator!" Melanie fires back. "All I'm saying is that maybe right now isn't the best time to launch a potentially controversial girlfriend."
Your blood goes cold. Controversial? There was nothing in your past that you were ashamed about. No racist relatives. No sex tape scandals or even potentially embarassing photos somewhere out on the internet. You had, all things considered, a pretty wholesome reputation. Everyone at McLaren loved you, as far as you were aware. With the apparent exception of Melanie.
"Controversial? Please, elaborate." Lando's voice goes deadly calm, as if he knows exactly what she's going to say but wants her to say it out loud.
"Lando." Melanie sighs and you take a step back, unsure if you want to hear what she has to say. "She's a young, single mom who got knocked up at nineteen years old." Melanie practically laughs, as if Lando is a complete idiot for not understanding. "There's no way she won't be seen as a gold digger or worse! She's going to be eaten alive on socials. I'm only looking out for her daughter's reputation. Don't be so naive, Norris."
Your fists clench up so tightly, the bite of your nails in your palms pulls you out of a near rage. It takes every ounce of control not to go straight into Lando's room and give that bitch a piece of your mind.
On the other side of the door, Lando swears he sees red and has to take a step away. "This is about your workload, isn't it? You don't want to deal with the awkward questions and the drama? Listen very closely to me, Melanie okay? Because I'm not going to repeat myself." The venom in Lando's voice startles you. "The three of us are a package deal now, do you understand? I am madly in love with that woman out there and her little girl? Her little girl is the center of my world too. I don't give a flying fuck if me being with her means more work for you, that's too fucking bad. If you can't handle it, I'm positive Zak will be happy to replace you. She's here to stay, you are replaceable. Understood?"
Hearing Lando say he loves you and Stella has your world tilting underneath your feet. He'd never said that to you before even though you'd been confident for a while now that he did feel that way. And that you felt the same way.
Melanie's reply is so soft, you don't hear it but moments later, the door flies open so fast you're forced to jump back bit. Melanie's flushed face looks horrified when she sees you standing in the hall. She can't hold eye contact with you for longer than a flicker of a moment before she's dashing down the hall.
Lando stands in the doorway looking horrified that you're standing there. "How much of that did you hear?"
Tears burn at the back of your eyes, your anger at Melanie now replaced with sheer embarrassment. Even if she had been the one to voice it, you were certain Melanie wasn't the only one who was thinking the same thing.
"Everything." You whisper as you look away, brushing at a tear that rolls hotly down your face.
"Goddamnit." Lando swears, shoving a hand through his curls. He hadn't even noticed his door was open after Melanie had followed after him. "Baby..." He reaches for you and you let him pull you to him, his steady warmth a comforting feeling as the panic rises in your chest.
"She's right, you know." You whisper into his chest so softly Lando nearly misses it.
Lando pulls back and the look of desperation on his face nearly breaks your heart. "What are you talking about?"
"The hate we're going to get. I'm going to get. She had a point, you have to admit. I'm a young, single mom dating a millionaire? People are going to think all I'm interested in is your money, just like they did with Kelly."
"Who cares what people think? Who cares what they say about us? The people in our lives that really matter know that's not why you're with me. Isn't that all that matters?"
"Until they start in on Stella. Have you seen some of the things they say about P?"
You were pretty confident you could handle any hate that you got but you knew that the moment you saw any hate towards your little girl, you'd be devastated. It had been something you'd been thinking about since Lando had brought up going public last night but you had been able to brush it aside. It hadn't seemed possible, the worry seeming far away and a little over dramatic but now? Now Melanie's words had anxiety twisting in your stomach.
"That's not going to happen." Lando pulls you deeper into his chest and nuzzles into your neck. He can practically feel you pulling away from him and terror shoots through him.
"You don't know that. Even if it doesn't, do you really want to spend the rest of this relationship constantly defending me? Defending us? That's no way to live, Lando. Melanie was right. I'm controversial and maybe we need to rethink this."
Lando's entire world stops spinning, his breath catching in his throat. "Wh...What? No, baby, no. Please don't do this. Don't pull away. Melanie is being hysterical. Nothing like that is going to happen."
If he had to get on his knees and beg you not to leave him, Lando would do it in a heartbeat.
"I'm not doing anything, I just need a minute to think okay?" You step out of his grasp, instantly missing his touch. You can't even look him in the eye, knowing that if you do you'll crumble. But you can't think of Lando or even yourself right now. "I have to consider what's best for Stella, okay?"
"Don't do this." Lando begs.
"I think I'm going to stay in my own room tonight." You whisper, voice straining with emotion as you barely contain the heartache in your tone.
"Is this the end?" Lando chokes out as he shoves his hands deep in his pockets. He's sure you'd step away if he tried to touch you right now and he knew he wouldn't be able to handle that kind of rejection from you. It felt like his entire world was crumbling around him and the only thing that could right this was you.
Tears stream down your face as you struggle for an answer. "No." You tell him after a moment and the relief that floods Lando's face nearly breaks your heart. "I just need some space to think is all, I promise."
"Can we still have dinner tonight?"
"I think it'd be best if I just spend the evening alone." It hurts, saying those words because you rarely get this much alone time with Lando but you need space so badly your skin begins to itch. You're desperate to get some distance from the paddock and the team and even Lando himself, to right yourself back to the proper head space. You had to consider Stella above your own heart.
If it was possible to die from a broken heart, Lando knew he was about to find out. He lets you go though, watching miserably from the spot he's rooted to on his floor as you back away slowly, almost like you're retreating from a dangerous animal or something.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
All he can do is nod as he watches you walk out the door for what he hopes isn't the last time.
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You're just finishing the last bits of your makeup when there's a knock on your door Friday morning. You were a bit surprised because you knew full well that Lando had a key but the fact that he was nervous to use it after what had happened yesterday tugs at something in your chest.
You had been in the shower when he texted you that morning and the string of texts nearly broke your heart. You hadn't wanted to put him through that kind of pain but you had needed to take a moment to think through what had happened with Melanie and the comms team yesterday.
Slipping the robe Lando had gotten you in Japan a few weeks ago, you pad towards the door to open it. You're stopped completely in your tracks when you swing it open and get a glimpse of Lando in the hallway. He looks absolutely ravaged, like he didn't sleep a single second the night before, eyes red rimmed and puffy.
"Lan..." You whisper, tears instantly flooding your eyes. You reach for him, utterly perplexed suddenly as to why you had felt you needed distance from him.
When he folds you into his arms, the damn finally breaks and you sob into him, the entire previous day's emotions coming to a head. The way you finally feel complete when he's got you in his arms is unlike anything you've ever felt and for a brief moment yesterday, you had forgotten that fact.
When he kisses you, cradling your head in his hands, everything else quiets. The doubts, the fear, the anxiety. It all fades into the background with his lips on yours and you sigh into his mouth. For the first time on 24 hours you feel relieved, like you can actually tackle this issue instead of feeling like you're going to drown in your own thoughts.
Lando tugs you over to the bed, pulling you into his lap as he sits against the headboard. You tuck into his body as close as you can, head folded into that space between his neck and shoulder, drinking in the smell of him: fresh from the shower and slightly spicy from his cologne.
For several minutes, you both just sit there. Lando struggles to contain the relief that is flooding his body. He'd been absolutely miserable last night, eventually working himself into a panic attack at the thought of losing you and Stella. There was such a gaping hole in his soul when he thought about the prospect of you walking away, it scared him to death. He had never planned on falling for you, had resisted it for a bit, trying to convince himself that it was too quick to be feeling the way he did. Last night though? Last night had showed him he was further gone than he had ever expected.
"Did you mean what you said to Melanie yesterday?" You mumble into his neck after a few moments.
"Every word." Lando says without a moment of hesitation. "But is there a specific part you want me to confirm?"
You chuckle, pulling away so you can look him in the face. "The part where you said we're a package deal? That you love love us both?"
Lando brings his hands up to face your frame and you can't help but lean into him. "Of course I meant it. I'd do anything for either of you. I thought we'd established that, baby."
You drop your gaze from his then, somewhat knocked off center by the intensity of his gaze. "I'm sorry I got spooked. I'm just so used to doing this all on my own, no one ever wants to stay."
"Do you remember what I told you the first night we spent together in Bahrain?"
You blink, a small smile playing on your lips for the first time that morning. "You said a lot that night."
Lando rolls his eyes and kisses your temple. "It was after you had fallen asleep and I got up to get a drink of water. When I came back to bed, you curled right into me and said you thought I'd left you. You asked me to never leave you and and I told you I'd never leave you. I didn't mean it for just that night though."
Your heart thunders in your chest. You didn't remember that at all but the fact that he had said those words to you all those months ago. He'd been as far gone for you back then as you had.
"I love you more than words can say." He whispers and all you can do is nod back, emotion choking out your ability to speak for a few moments.
Lando reaches under your chin after a beat, lifting your face so he can see you. "Nobody said this was going to be easy but if we do this together, it'll be okay. You've got to trust me on this, baby. The team is fully supportive, I swear to you. Zak, Andrea, Oscar. Everyone that matters is on our side. I know you're scared and you want to protect Stella but you can't give up on our happiness because of some stupid people on the internet that don't matter."
Pain shoots through you, bright and quick as a lightning bolt as realization hits you like a ton of bricks. Something becomes crystal clear in that moment and you find yourself nodding.
"You're right. I know you are. I want Stella to see me choose myself instead of sacrificing my happiness for some stupid what ifs." It isn't until Lando says what he does that you're able to finally put into words what you've slowly been coming to realize over the last few hours. You'd been scared to admit it, scared that choosing yourself in this meant you were putting Stella second but when Lando tells you that you can't give up your own happiness to protect her, everything clicks into place.
"I want her to know that she can do hard things and choose her own path and if i listen to Melanie all I show her is that the bullies win."
"That's my girl." Lando praises, pulling you into another soul shattering kiss. "I love you." He whispers against your lips.
"Lan..." You pull away suddenly, eyes going wide. "The reason I was outside your driver's room yesterday was because Stella demanded to talk to you before bed and then..." You drop the sentence, the memory of yesterday slicing through you once again. "Do we have time to call her now? She was so mad at me last night when I said you were too busy to talk."
"Don't you ever tell my Stelly Belly I'm too busy to talk to her again." He teases before grabbing his phone. "Is she with Sarah today? They had a half day, didn't they. She was all about going to the cinema with Sarah today last time I talked to her."
The smile that settles on your face is nothing short of brilliant. For the first time in nearly 24 hours, you finally feel settled, like everything had righted itself after being so very briefly run off course. "Lets see if she can talk now before the get to the show."
landonorris posted
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789,039 likes liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, BFFSarah, and others landonorris did someone say 'hard launch'? user029 oh she's PRETTY PRETTY yourusername <3 >>>user029 ugh, profile's private but SHE HAS A CHILD??? >>>user2992 if this means we're going to get dad lando content the same yaer we get dad max content, the internet may not survive BFFSarah can i like this more than once!?! <3 user0299 OMG WAIT I saw her in the background of tv shots this weekend except she was in a McLaren team kit. LANDO NOT DATING AN INFLUENCER??? >>>user3422 didn't know he had it in him >>>user000 god, i am such a sucker for a workplace romance trope
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ŕą¨ŕ§ Ë ŕŁŞâš brat-tamer!toji
authors note: no thots, just him. this is just pure smut, sorry lollllll. need him so bad u donât understand. with that being said, minors dni, 18+ ! thank you for the love on my first few posts! i appreciate it all of it <3 i'm not ignoring my messages btw, just extremely busy with my studies! âĄ
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â Ë・âਠĘÉ ŕ§â Ë・â
brat-tamer!toji who notices you acting up and simply asks, âcranky because you ainât got dick today?â
brat-tamer!toji who only looks at you with a raised brow and (huge) arms across his chest when you purposely try to piss him off. so cute.
brat-tamer!toji who purposely puts his entire body weight on top of you when you beg him to stop due to overstimulation. he tugs you even closer, just laughing in your face.
brat-tamer!toji who stops thinking coherent thoughts when he sees you in a sundress.
brat-tamer!toji who rewards your good behavior with head (lets you squirt) and also punishes your bad behavior with head (denies you relief, gives in eventually, sometimes).
brat-tamer!toji who loooovessssss shoving your face into the pillow while you whine, pant, and moan. he loves to put your head into a headlock with his bicep, as drool escapes your lips, and youâre babbling like an idiot while heâs hitting it from the back.
brat-tamer!toji who casually lifts you up and fucks you in the air as if just anyone can do it. âsuch a perfect little pocket pussy,â he snickers.
brat-tamer!toji who gets you cock drunk so often (heâs starting to think that itâs your normal state).
brat-tamer!toji who likes to make you count every time he spanks the fat of your ass when arched up across his lap. slap! â24âŚâ you say with a slight moan, biting your bottom lip in, as he soothes the red outline forming on your cheek. he grins above you, âshouldâve known a cock-bent whore like you would take this as pleasurable rather than punishment.â
brat-tamer!toji who makes a safe word with you early on (which you tease him for doing so early, he only tsks because he knows YOU know how much you mean to him and he puts your well-being above anything else).
brat-tamer!toji who has a hidden collection of pictures on his phone with you smiling, his cum decorating your face.
brat-tamer!toji who grips your face in the middle of a make out session, pulling away as he notices your fucked out, panting expression. âopen.â you quickly open up your mouth as he slowly lets spit hit onto your tongue. he lightly chuckles. âobedient slut.â you look at him, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wanting more. âswallow.â
brat-tamer!toji who finds his favorite position to be when his massive balls are hitting your clit and he mercilessly pounds, abusing your little cunt from the back as he strings profanity out of his mouth. or a full nelson where he just tells you to, âshut the fuck up and take it.â or even a mating press where he can pummel his cum into you while seeing your face contort in pure bliss. ây-yeah. âust let loose. go dumb on this dick.â
brat-tamer!toji who regularly calls you; âslut, (needy or cock) whore, vixen, pretty, disgusting, (stupid) bitch, brat, bad girl, good girl, perfect, beautiful, gorgeous, princess, angel, (sex or fuck) toy, doll, bunny, cum-slut, cum-dumpster, sugar⌠etcâ
brat-tamer!toji who gets annoyed at your endless ramblings about your day, he sighs and tells you to get on your knees. you promptly do that, but to push his buttons you donât stop rambling on and on and on. somehow, this man manages to get his 8 (girthy) inches down your throat. âcant complain with my cock in your mouth, huh?â he only smirks as you become teary-eyed, moaning a little at his statement, lapping your tongue up and down like a starving dog. he throws his head back, forearms supporting him while you bob your head back and forth on his thick length. âhey⌠never said that my cock doesnât appreciate your tongue. sâch a good girl when you do what youâre made for. unh!â
brat-tamer!toji who presses against you into a mirror, his broader, massive frame encasing you while he stares into your soul. âi-i donât understand what i did?â you look up at him feigning innocence, batting your eyelashes. fingers caress his forearms, down his hard bicep, and lightly trace his hardened outline. his eyes never leave yours, a stern, menacing look to the average person, but you can tell heâs about to have you praying for mercy in another way. âof course you donât understand what you did.â you whine slightly when his fingers suddenly grab a fist full of your hair, burning your scalp, his voice turns mockingly softer. âall you know in that pretty, empty, head of yours is just fucking. nothing else.â he quickly releases you, eliciting a gasp, magically flipping you around in an instant so youâre staring at yourself in the mirror now. âtold you not to play with yourself until i came home. but you just haaad to be difficult.â he gripped the vibrator in one hand that was tucked away, pressing it against your lips. âspit.â you spat on it, eyes full of want. he only snickered and smirked. âgood luck thinking Iâm going to let you cum. stare in the mirror while I do this.â he turned the toy on, a vibrating tune humming throughout the room. âneed you to realize how pathetic you look begging.â you gasped slightly, âb-but-" he proceeds to pry your legs apart with one massive thigh, his hand gripping the front of your neck, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. âpush your skirt up. you lost your right to cum, stupid whore. cum without permission, see what happens.â
brat-tamer!toji who loves to fuck you on his fingers. he loves the lewd noise it makes while ramming his two middle fingers in and out, or up and down. he loves to see your jaw go slack as you beg him to stop. âi-itâs⌠uhhhhhh! t-to- ah! -ji, toooooo-uhhh much!â he never loses focus, âyeah? yeah?â he presses his hand on your lower abdomen, âquite honestly, donât care what you think.â he only licks his lips, his scarred lip grins with anticipation to finally taste you when you unfold.
brat-tamer!toji who degrades you like itâs a living but LIVES for your filthy mouth. he loves that you talk back, heâll never admit it. he loves putting cum sluts like you in their place.
Ëâşâ§âËâĄËââ§âşË
brat-tamer!toji who weirdly⌠gets needy at times when you finish. heâll hold you from behind, shutting his eyes while his arms are wrapped around, practically glued to your torso, the backside of your body molds perfectly to the front of his. legs intertwined, your head against his chest, a moment of pure bliss shared between you two. âwho knew the big bad toji likes to cuddle?â âshut up.â
(silly toji! i need him to ruin me)
#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#jjk toji#toji fushiguro#toji x y/n#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#toji fushiguro x reader#sexbot300 writes
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every fragile thing
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pairing: park sunghoon x f reader
genre: enemies to lovers, figure skating au, college/university au
word count: 12.3k
warnings: alcohol consumption, jealousy, non graphic descriptions/depictions of injuries, use of the american (usa) university system, a kiss or five
soundtrack: get him back! / brutal / jealousy, jealousy / good 4 u / the grudge / bad idea right? / drivers license - olivia rodrigo
After an ankle injury lands you in mandated physical therapy sessions instead of on the ice where you should be training for nationals, you're absolutely certain you must be the most frustrated, emotionally volatile figure skater on the planet. Park Sunghoon proves you wrong.
or,
every fragile thing has one of two choices: become stronger or shatter into a million pieces.
note: hi hello yes this is me on a new blog with the same name. I deleted my old one and wasn't sure if I planned on remaking/reposting but here we are! if you've read this before, then I hope you enjoy just as much this time around. and if you haven't, I hope you love figure skater sunghoon just as much as I do! happy reading âĄ
Silence. One word, two syllables. A fairly straightforward term with a meaning that can be easily deduced from a quick scan of its Merriam-Webster definition.Â
But unlike many words, silence is one thatâs typically learned through experience. Through stilted moments, pregnant pauses, dreamlike moments in the dead of night while the world around you is at a standstill.Â
In the moments just before the music starts, when it feels as if the audience around you is holding their breath. And you stand at the center of it all, blades of your tightly laced skates against ice, chest rising and falling in time with your heartbeat, mind spinning with possibility. In those moments, your long trained muscles take over, following the memory of countless repetitions as your body prepares to do what it knows best.Â
Thereâs a question in that silence. One thatâs asked with baited breath.Â
Will I land this skill? Will I go home with a medal around my neck, cold weight a familiar comfort against my skin? Will this be my best performance yet? Will they love it? Love me?
That, as youâve come to learn, is your favorite kind of silence. The kind thatâs filled with endless possibility, with the promise of something beautiful or disastrous or some odd mix of the two to come.Â
The feeling of freedom, of flying as blade cuts through ice, as your body defies gravity with every jump, every spin.Â
But that is very much not the kind of silence that greets you where Dr. Min eyes you warily over the top of his pristine clipboard, a crease forming between his dark eyebrows. Frowning, he glances at the paper once more before returning his gaze to you.Â
âYouâre sure youâve been resting? No weight on the fracture at all?â
It takes a good chunk of your willpower not to roll your eyes. Mostly because youâre lying through your teeth, but whoâs keeping track?Â
âYes, Iâm sure.â Gesturing to the thick black boot the lower part of your left leg and foot have been imprisoned in for the better part of a month, you add, âThis thingâs still coming off in two weeks, right?â
Two weeks is pushing it, but youâve done more with less. Two weeks puts you exactly three months out from regionals, which gives you exactly ninety-one days to pull together the most jaw dropping program you or the judges have ever seen. One thatâs certain to land you on the podium and secure a spot at nationals.Â
Once again, you thank your lucky stars for Coach Lee. Sheâs been with you since you were still struggling to lace your own skates, and thereâs no one else youâd trust to have you ready for regionals in such a short time frame. No one else youâd bet your fate on like this.Â
âThat was our original time frame, yesâŚâ Dr. Min trails off, avoiding your gaze in a way that has your stomach dropping unpleasantly.Â
âAnd weâll be sticking to it, Iâm sure.â You hate the way the end of your phrase turns up like a question.Â
Dr. Min sighs. âLook, ___, our original time frame was ambitious to begin with, and I hate to tell you this, but your ankle is not healing as well as weâd hoped. Fractures donât heal overnight, and the best thing for you right now is rest.âÂ
The argument is already forming on your tongue. âButââ
âI know itâs hard to believe, but Iâm not trying to ruin your life, ___. Truly. Iâm saying this to you as the parent of an athlete and a former athlete myself. Pushing yourself now will only lead to reinjury in the future and will also very likely shorten your career. Your ankle needs to heal before you skate on it again. It needs to heal before you so much as put weight on it. And you need to let it heal completely.â The sincerity in his voice is hard to stomach when he says, âBelieve me when I tell you that youâll regret it for the rest of life if you donât.â
And logically, you know heâs right. Know that this will be nothing but a minor setback if you allow it to run its course. If you follow his advice to rest and heal. But skating has never been something youâve done with the logical parts of yourself. And Dr. Min doesnât get it. You tell him as much. âYou donât understand what youâre asking me to do. Regionals are in less than four months, andââ
âI hear you. Believe me, I do. But this is your third year of university, which means you have another shot at nationals next year. If you push it and try to skate before youâre ready, you may very well lose that chance too.â
âSo Iâm supposed to do what? Sit around and do nothing until my ankle decides to cooperate?â Even voicing the possibility has you suppressing a grimace.Â
But Dr. Min has different thoughts. âYes. That is exactly what you need to do.â
You donât avert your gaze. Neither does he. Finally, after a moment, he sighs. âMy recommendation at this point is still rest, butââ
âBut?â Your excitement is impossible to contain fully.Â
Dr. Min levels you with a cautionary look over his clipboard. âBut, if youâre going to do anything, our athletics department does also run a physical therapy program, which I think could be beneficial. It would help to retain flexibility, mobility, and agility in the areas of your leg that support your ankle. It could help get you back on the ice faster and maintain the leg strength youâve built. Thereâs a group session that runs on Tuesday afternoonsââ
âYes,â you nod, not bothering to hear the end of his statement. âYes, Iâll do that.â
âI⌠okay.â As much as you want to hate him for it, Dr. Min has a point. And while you doubt physical therapy will be anywhere near as grueling as your usual workouts, it sounds a hell of a lot better than doing nothing.Â
âŚ
Youâve never liked hospitals. The odd juxtaposition of white, lifeless sterility and a culmination of some of lifeâs most painful moments has always left an unpleasant taste on your tongue.Â
Itâs one that has you double checking the address Dr. Min forwarded to you as you enter the oddly cheerful building that is apparently home to a renowned athletics physical therapy facility. Despite the medical purpose, thereâs a distinct liveliness that envelops the space.Â
The woman at reception informs you that this is indeed the right building and the session youâre attending has just begun in the room to your left.Â
Pausing at the door, youâre struck with a sudden timidness. A physical therapy group for athletes will obviously be filled with, well, athletes. And although you canât speak too harshly on that particular subsect of people, being one yourself, they can be intimidating. It must be the competitiveness, you think. The drive to push, succeed, win that gives off such a distinct aura.
Steeling yourself with one last breath, you remind yourself thatâs why youâre here. To get back to that version of you that has everyone else feeling a little shier. That version of you that eats, breathes, and sleeps with ice skates laced on your feet and visions of the top of a podium driving your every decision.Â
With determination straightening your brow, you push open the door.Â
And immediately find yourself grateful for the mental preparation as three heads snap in your direction. Â
Hitching your bag up an inch on your shoulder, you try not to melt under the sudden awkwardness. Thankfully, one of them is better at breaking ice than you.
âHi,â the boy closest to you is the first to fill the silence. Heâs all smiles where he gives you a friendly wave, moving a stray hair out of his eyes with a flick of his head as he tells you, âIâm Jungwon.â
You offer your name in return, trying on a smile to match his friendliness. You have a feeling it comes more naturally to him than it ever will to you, though.Â
Regardless, he offers an equally cheerful, âNice to meet you.â Glancing over to where the second boy is moving through a series of stretches, Jungwon makes eye contact, silently telling him heâs up next.Â
Even mid-stretch, he acquiesces. âIâm Niki,â the second boy follows.Â
âAnd Iâm Jake.â The last boy doesnât need any prompting from Jungwon. Nodding towards the walking boot that covers the bottom half of your left leg, he glances at a similar one that he wears on his own. âLooks like weâre twins. Tore up my achilles pretty bad in my last soccer match,â he explains. âWhat about you?â
âFractured my ankle,â you return, a rueful smile dragging your lips up. âFigure skater.â
âAh, man.â Jungwon winces. âThat sucks.â
You shrug, forcing a nonchalance you donât feel. âNo worse than a busted achilles.âÂ
âThatâs cool that you skate though,â Jake offers. âKind of a funny coincidence, actually. Thereâs anotherââ
Whatever it is, he doesnât get to finish the thought. At that moment, the door opens again, this time revealing a middle aged woman in a white physicianâs coat. Her name tag reads Dr. Kim, and she introduces herself as such to you.Â
âLooks like everyoneâs here, including our new members.â She gives another cursory nod in your direction. âWelcome again.â Glancing around, the instructor pauses. âOh, wait. Except forââ
âIâm here, Iâm here.â For the second time in the span of a minute, the door behind you opens. You donât miss the glance that passes between Niki and Jake. You turn to face the new arrival, but his back is to you as he sets his bag down and begins the process of switching his shoes.Â
The way the new member enters with a dismissive wave of his hand and lack of proper greeting has you thinking tardiness is not an uncommon trait of his. Even from behind, you can feel the waves of arrogance he exudes. That seems to align more with your preconceived notions of athletes.Â
Studying him for another second, a sinking feeling of dread begins to build in the pit of your stomach. Long, dark hair. Unnaturally graceful movements, even if all heâs doing is digging through his bag. Tall stature, broad shoulders, long legs.Â
An athleteâs build through and through. Perfectly suited for the ice.Â
âGreat.â Despite the statement, Dr. Kimâs tone is flat. âWell, we were just getting started and introducing ourselves since we have someone new joining us today.â
âHi,â he offers, still fixated on his bag, yet to offer as much as a glance in your direction. If anything, it only serves as a confirmation of his identity. âIâmââ You donât even need to hear him say it.Â
âSunghoon?â
At that, he does finally look up.Â
Gaze locking with yours, a moment of confusion is quickly replaced by a furrow in his brow, the slight downturn of his lips. Heâs not thrilled to see you either.Â
A beat passes.Â
Two.Â
Neither of you break eye contact.Â
The silence extends to the point of discomfort for all four onlookers, each of them hesitant to break the tension thatâs rising by the second.Â
Finally, Dr. Kim takes a knife to the tension. âDo you two know each other?âÂ
Park Sunghoon. Renowned figure skater at your rival university. Someone with such a natural knack for carving lines through ice that whispers of prodigy have been shadowing his footsteps since the minute he put them on a rink.Â
Someone with his head so far up his own ass youâre not sure how he can see half the time, much less keep his hair looking so perfect.Â
Oh, you know him alright.Â
â___?â
And it would seem he remembers you as well.Â
It also answers Dr. Kimâs question well enough.Â
âAh, good.â It sounds like a question, like sheâs hoping your acquaintance will be a positive thing instead of a disaster. You donât have the heart to tell her otherwise. âThe figure skating community is tight knit, I suppose.â
You suppress a scoff. Thatâs one word for it, you guess.Â
You remember when it felt that way to you, too. Before tight knit became too small. Back before university, when it felt like it was you and Park Sunghoon against the world, instead of against each other. Back when the two of you didnât skate for opposing teams but instead were members of the same club. A time when you took the ice together, skated as partners until heâ
You force your thoughts to stop in their tracks. Your blood pressure has spiked enough in the last few days, and thinking back on long days spent with Park Sunghoon will only send it skyrocketing again.Â
If anything, youâll use this opportunity to practice perfecting your poker face for when you inevitably run into him at future competitions.Â
And future competitions means you need a healed ankle, not a bruised ego. And certainly not an unpleasant trip down memory lane.Â
Turning away from Sunghoon, youâre the first one to answer when Dr. Kim asks if youâre ready to get started.Â
âYes,â you tell her, determination written across your brow, in the set of your shoulders, and perhaps most noticeably, in the way you avoid Sunghoonâs wandering gaze for the next two hours.Â
âŚ
Without the rink, days are quick to meld into one another. It may be concerning, considering that you still have a set schedule of classes and homework to follow, but your life has revolved around training for so long that itâs hard to tell Mondays from Wednesdays without a set practice schedule.Â
Thankfully, you do still make it back to the clinic at the right time on the right day, this time for another session with Dr. Kim and your fellow band of broken athletes.Â
Including him.Â
Aside from the glaringly obvious exception, youâre not as bothered at the thought of returning as you feared you might be.Â
Jungwon, Niki, and Jake have proven themself pleasant enough company, and Dr. Kim seems to have built an understanding of how difficult it is to be forcibly removed from the sport you love. As such, sheâs one of the least aggravating medical professionals youâve spent time around.Â
âHey,â Niki greets when you arrive. âDid you have a good weekend?â
You shrug. âGood enough. Mostly just catching up on homework.â Setting your bag down and switching out your shoes, you join him on the mat, beginning the series of warm-up stretches Dr. Kim instructed you through last week. âWhat about you?â
âNot too bad. I got some good news from my doctor, actually.â He switches legs in his stretch, and youâre almost envious of his flexibility. Heâs a dancer, and an exceedingly good one at that. One with an unfortunate knee injury at the moment. âMy x-rays are looking a lot better. He thinks I might be able to start easing back into regular use by next month.âÂ
âThatâs great,â you smile, even as a pang of jealousy stabs somewhere near your gut. âIâm really happy for you, Niki.âÂ
âA month still feels like forever, though, doesnât it?â He sighs. âI canât remember the last time I was out of the studio for this long.âÂ
Jungwon slides down onto the mat next to you, joining in on the stretch routine. âConsider yourself lucky, man. They told me at my last check-up that I probably wonât be able to do any jumping or kicks again for at least three months even though the fracture is already mostly healed.â He shakes his head. âNo jumping or kicking,â he echoes, sarcasm dripping from every word. âYou know, things that are super easy to avoid in taekwondo.â
âIf itâs any consolation, I just got told that Iâm gonna have to sit out of regionals this year. Which means Iâll have no way of qualifying for nationals.â You wonder how many times youâll have to admit that particular reality to yourself before the sting starts to fade.Â
âThat sucks.â Jake agrees, coming down to the mat and occupying the spot next to Niki. âIâll probably have to sit for this entire season, too. I love my team, but itâs so frustrating watching them play when I know I could be an asset on the field.â
âThatâs true.â Youâre struck by a sudden wave of sympathy. âAt least skating is an individual sport, so the only person I have to disappoint is myself.âÂ
âSpeaking of skating,â Jungwon sounds hesitant as he approaches the subject. âDo you and Sunghoon, uhâŚâ he pauses for a moment in search of a neutral way of framing the unmistakable tension that surfaced the last time he saw the two of you together. âDo you two know each other?â
Grimacing internally, you suppose an explanation was bound to be solicited after your icy reunion. âWe skate for rival universities.â Your gaze fixes on a spot on the ground. âAnd before college we used to, uh, we used to skate for the same club.â
The three boys share a glance. Itâs hardly an explanation for the venom you said his name with but before they can press you further, the subject in question enters the room.Â
Again, he takes his time setting his bag down, getting his things ready. This time, he also pulls out an obnoxiously big pair of headphones, secures them over his ears before he bothers to turn around. Despite the fact that all three boys offer him friendly smiles and waves, he returns the gesture only with a tight smile, making his way to the mat on the opposite side of the room before he begins his stretch routine.
Itâs a message that rings loud and clear. A frown passes between Jake, Jungwon, and Niki. Itâs obvious to you, then, that youâre the reason he chose to set himself up as far away as physically possible.Â
So be it, you think, letting the slight roll right off of you. Itâs not the first time heâs given you the cold shoulder for something he plays an equal part in, and you doubt it will be the last.Â
Besides, it will only make your sessions pass by quicker, if the burden of avoiding gazes and minimizing interactions falls on his shoulders instead of yours.
With nothing but a shrug, you adjust slightly, ensuring that the only view he has of you is of your back.Â
âŚ
Itâs a pattern that continues as physical therapy sessions start to become a regular routine in your week. Sunghoon, with his apparent disdain for anyoneâs time but his own, is always the last to arrive. He also continues his habit of picking the spot in the room furthest away from you.Â
Despite the fact that youâd like to chalk it up to his social ineptitude alone, that explanation doesnât track. Although thereâs still a certain aura of aloofness that follows where he goes, itâs too often that you see him smiling at a joke cracked by Jake or sharing easy conversations with Jungwon and Niki. Â
Hell, he even interacts with Dr. Kim with a level of warmth you didnât know was possible coming from him. If thereâs any disdain in their conversations, he directs it all towards his right wrist. Itâs why heâs here, you assume. Encased in a brace similar to the one you wear on your left ankle, his right forearm seems to be the reason for his attendance.Â
Itâs hard to not be envious. While a wrist injury is nothing to scoff at, it doesnât necessarily keep you off the ice. Not in the same way a fractured ankle does.Â
Refocusing your thoughts, you push the boy across the room firmly out of mind as Dr. Kim helps adjust you into the next stretch.
âHow about now?â Dr. Kim pushes your spine a fraction of an inch further, pressure light but demanding. Before, this much flexibility would have been an easy request of your body, but lack of use has your muscles feeling tight. âAny tightness or pain?â
âNo.â The bead of sweat on your brow begs to differ, as does the way the negation slipped through gritted teeth.Â
But youâre frustrated. Annoyed at the progress youâve lost, at the new limits of your body, at the way you feel like a stranger in your own skin.Â
Across the room, you miss the flicker of annoyance that flits over Sunghoonâs features. Headphones on as always, you imagine youâre nothing more than a blip on his radar, a pesky intruder thatâs easily ignored as long as he has his back to you.Â
âHm,â Dr. Kim muses. âYouâve retained more flexibility than I expected.â She offers you a smile. âThatâs a good thing, a sign of a quick recovery.â
You suppress a grimace. It should be a good thing. You should be recovering quickly. If only you could get your stupid body to cooperate.Â
Stealing another glance at the boy across the room, you canât help the way a small burst of rage bubbles in your stomach. Prodigy. Why does he always get to be the anomaly, the exception to the rule? His injury is already less severe than yours, and heâs probably recovering quickly, too. Without even having to fake it.
Easing you out of the stretch, Dr. Kim jots down a quick note. âIâll have Dr. Min run another x-ray at your next visit.â Nodding towards your ankle, she adds, âI think thereâs a good chance that things are looking a lot better, and updated x-rays will help guide our next sessions.â She pauses for a minute. âI donât want to get ahead of myself or get your hopes up, but I think we might be able to start putting some weight back on it soon. Start getting it stronger again.âÂ
Youâre hesitant to let your excitement grow too much. But it would be a lie if you werenât already counting the days until your next visit with Dr. Min in your head. âThank you,â you tell her. âIâll hope those x-rays come back looking good, then.â
âMe too,â she smiles. âIâll see you next week, then. Hopefully with good news.â
You nod, returning her smile before heading to the door to gather your things. Jungwon catches you on your way out.Â
âHey, ___, hold on a sec.â When you turn back towards him, he tells you, âThe rest of us are gonna grab lunch at a place nearby, if you want to join.â
Your uncertainty must write itself across your features, because heâs quick to add, âDonât worry. Sunghoon wonât be there. Heâs got a class right after this.â
Slightly embarrassed by the way he read you so easily, you nod. âSure. Lunch sounds good.â Despite their friendliness with Sunghoon, youâve come to like the three of them. And itâs been far too long since you broke up the monotony of class, homework, and medical appointments with something as simple as lunch with friends.Â
And as long as heâs not there, you imagine it will be nothing but pleasant.Â
It doesnât take long for them to prove you wrong.Â
Niki barely lets you get one bite in before he asks, âSo, what exactly happened between you two?â Even without the name, the question is obvious.Â
Still, after choking on the sip of water youâd been taking, you answer, âWho?â
Jake just gives you a look.Â
You sigh. âLike I said, we used to skate for the same club. We, uh, never really got along, I guess.â Avoiding eye contact, you add, âAnd now we skate for rival schools. I suppose itâs only natural to not like each other.â
Niki doesnât miss a beat. âYeah, that sounds made up.â
Jungwon swallows his bite, parts his lips like he has something to say. Internally, you heave a sigh of relief. If any of the three of them spare you, you have a feeling it would be him. âI mean, it does seem like something else must have happened.â
Or not.Â
âYou donât have to tell us,â he adds. âBut itâs just⌠I mean, the two of you canât even look at each other.â
Sighing, you suppose the circumstances do look odd from the outside. âThere was⌠an incident. Back when we used to skate together.â
âWhat?â Jake asks. âDid he steal your skates right before a show or something?âÂ
âNo, no.â You shake your head. âIt happened on the ice, actually. During a program.â
âWait,â Niki interrupts. âYou said you used to skate together. Do you mean like, as partners?â
The guilt on your face says it all.Â
âNo way.â Jake says.Â
Jungwonâs eyes grow bigger. âWhat did he do?â
âYeah,â Niki turns to face you fully. âWouldnât being his partner be a good thing? At least on the ice, I mean. I know he can be a little insufferable, but isnât he some sort of prodigyââ
âProdigy, my ass.â Youâre so sick of that goddamn word. âWasnât a prodigy when he dropped me in the middle of our program at junior nationals, was he?â
The way all three or their jaws drop in unison is almost worth the admission.Â
But the thing is, he was. No accusatory fingers pointed in his direction after it happened. No one blamed prodigy Park Sunghoon for the mishap.Â
No, it was decided fair and square by the jury of public opinion that the mistake was entirely your fault, your burden to bear. And itâs not like you were immune to the criticism. Whispers followed where you went. And you always, always managed to hear them.Â
Maybe if youâd trained a little harder, completed the second rotation a little sooner, the skill would have gone off without a hitch, they mused. Hell, maybe if youâd stuck to your diet a little better, those last two pounds would have spelled the difference between a perfect landing and your ass on frozen ground, program music still crescendoing as onlookers watched with horrified fascination.
âOh,â Jungwon grimaces.Â
âThatâs rough,â Niki agrees.Â
And they donât even know the worst of it. Donât know that back then, at fifteen, youâd had a giant, soul crushing, earth shattering, massive crush on your skating partner. That you searched for his approval just as eagerly as youâd sought out your coachâs.Â
That youâd squeezed in as many extra practice sessions as physically possible for five months leading up to the routine just to make sure you were as close to flawless as possible, just to make sure you were chosen to be his partner on the ice.Â
That you giggled, giggled, when you saw the matching costumes the two of you would wear for the first time.Â
That you followed where he went with long sighs and lovesick eyes. That you looked forward to the grueling hours you spent on the ice with him, turning perfection into something even greater.Â
That your heart skipped a beat every time you ran through your program, every time he caught you with sure hands and a strong grip.Â
That Park Sunghoon never made a mistake, never let you fall, not once.Â
Not until a spotlight was spinning dreams into reality and you were already anticipating the secret smiles youâd share with matching gold medals around your necks.Â
Not until it all shattered in a single moment.Â
It was cold, as you laid there on the ice, sprawled out and unable to move from the sudden shock of it all. Luckily, youâd avoided any critical injuries. You had staggered off the ice with nothing but some bad bruising, the worst of it staining your ego and your heart.Â
And after it all, no matter how many times you passed him on your way to the locker room, shared the ice with him, or searched for the gaze he pointedly avoided across the room, Park Sunghoon never uttered the two words that just might have made you forgive it all.Â
Instead of an apology or even the decency of an explanation, you got a cold shoulder and a lost friendship you were too confused by to mourn.Â
In the end, youâd decided to turn it all into a blessing in a very thorough disguise. From that moment onwards, all of your time on the ice was dedicated to you and you alone. Never would you let anything but the sheer strength of your own will, your own goals, motivate you to become better, faster, stronger.Â
And you found that victory tasted even sweeter, when the full weight of it could rest on your shoulders alone. When no one could whisper behind their palms that the only reason you stood on the podium was a prodigy of a partner.Â
So fine. Park Sunghoon didnât owe you shit. Not an apology, an explanation, or even a second glance.Â
And if he was a prodigy, an ice prince or whatever stupid title heâd earned alongside his medals, well, youâd just have to be even better.
But now, sitting across from new friends with a fractured ankle and a ruined shot at medalling this year, a quiet part of you admits for the first time that maybe, just maybe, part of that resolve is nothing but spite in disguise. Part of the anger youâve clung to for so long isnât directed at him, but at yourself.Â
That it was embarrassing to fall in front of a crowd, yes, but it was also humiliating to know that he was hearing all those little comments about your inferiority too. To realize that his silence meant he probably agreed. That you were a liability of a partner, unequal in both skill and importance. That he could move on from the incident, from you, completely unscathed.Â
That your little crush was entirely one-sided, just like the respect and admiration youâd once felt for him.Â
You stare at the half-eaten lunch in front of you, appetite suddenly completely gone.Â
âWhat a coincidence that the two of you ended up injured at the same time,â Jake muses.Â
âAnd in the same physical therapy group.â Jungwon nods.Â
âYeah,â you echo hollowly. âWhat a coincidence.â
âŚ
When Park Sunghoon speaks to you for the first time in five years, itâs completely by accident.
As the weeks have continued on, youâve fallen into a perfect routine during your shared physical therapy sessions. A routine of avoidance, ignorance, and as much space between the two of you as physically possible. Itâs become so easy that the two of you navigate it with the kind of grace only two elite figure skaters could ever manage.Â
If anything, itâs more awkward for the other members of your session than it is for the two of you. Jungwon, Jake, Niki, and Dr. Kim are the ones suffering as they try to stay friendly with both of you without icing out the other.Â
It must be why he doesnât even bother to check who it is thatâs standing right next to him as he reaches for his bag on the shelf near the front door at the end of another session. Must be why he says it in a voice so casual you donât think itâs him at first. âHow pissed do you think Dr. Kim will be if Iâm late again next week?â
Even though the voice doesnât quite fit, you half expect to see Jake standing next to you when you turn to the side.Â
Sunghoon realizes his mistake at the exact same second you do. You watch as shock flickers across his features, quickly replaced by something guarded, unreadable. Just as completely closed off to you as always.Â
It pisses you off, the way heâs so utterly and completely unaffected by you. The way he can brush you off as easily as a piece of dust. Insignificant. Unimportant. Unwanted. It has you freeing the reins on comments you should bite back instead.Â
âHard to say.â Ice and resentment drip from every syllable. âThen again, Iâm surprised you care about what she thinks. Doesnât seem like something that would bother you.â
That at least earns you some of his emotion. Another bout of shock crosses his face before it shifts to confusion and falls finally to anger. You can see it in the furrow of his brow, the set of his jaw. The flare of heat in his eyes.Â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
If he falls to anger, youâll rise above it. At least on the outside. Thereâs no accounting for the way your gut twists in rage. Still, you offer him a smile thatâs almost as fake as it is sickeningly sweet. âIâm sure youâll figure it out if you spend enough time thinking about it.â Itâs patronizing, and intentionally so. You hope it annoys him enough to keep him up tonight.Â
Reaching for the front door, you take your exit first. The hallways of this building have become familiar over the weeks. Even with anger clouding your vision and a bad ankle, you trace a steady path to the parking lot. Youâre halfway to your car when the sound of your name stops you in your tracks.Â
You freeze for a moment, turning the sound of it over in your brain, stuck on the way it almost sounds like a plea, a prayer coming from his lips. The sound of footsteps draws nearer. They fall quickly, as if heâs running. Your indecision still renders you immobile.Â
âHold on a second. Did I⌠Did I do something to upset you?â
If you thought you were angry before, youâre surely seeing red now. How dare he.Â
Spinning around, you only hope you sound as outraged as you feel. âIs that supposed to be some kind of joke?â
âWhat? No.â His brow furrows. âI mean, I know our schools are technically rivals and all, but we havenât really seen each other in years.â
âRight, because youâve been so sunny and welcoming since I joined the group.â
âI was giving you space. You practically bolted like a scared cat when you saw it was me.â He runs a hand through his hair. You hate the way it falls perfectly back into place. And you hate the way he looks so good doing it. âBut clearly youâve got something against me.â
The audacity, the sheer, utter audacity. Thereâs no trace of humor when you say, âYouâre hilarious, really.â And thereâs no room for debate when you turn away from him again, continuing to walk towards your car.Â
âWait,â he tries, but it falls on deaf ears. âGod, ___, would you just hold on for a second, Iââ
You turn. To do what, youâre not entirely sure. But before you can decide, the grip he has on his car keys loosens, the fingers of his right hand less dexterous than usual thanks to his arm brace. He still has his reflexes though. With his other hand, he manages to stop them from falling completely.Â
âBetter take care of that.â You jerk your chin to where he awkwardly fumbles with his keyring, trying to find a better grip. âWouldnât want to drop those too.â
His gaze snaps to you, eyes wide, mouth slightly slackened. The keys fall from his grasp, metal clinking delicately on the pavement. A million questions swim across his features, none of which youâll give the grace of answering.Â
Instead, you turn around once more. You make it all the way to your car, all the way out of the parking lot, all the way home.Â
And he never says your name once.Â
âŚ
The following Tuesday, you are the last one of the group to arrive. And while you would usually never pass up the opportunity to best Sunghoon at anything, including being the latest arrival, competition is not the reason for your tardiness.Â
Itâs avoidance. That, and the fact that you had to spend eleven minutes giving yourself a pep talk in the car before you could work up the nerve to approach the front doors of the clinic. In the end, itâs a glance down at the boot on your left foot that does it. Youâve let Sunghoon ruin your chance at a gold medal once, and youâll be damned if you let him do it again.Â
Besides, your last visit with Dr. Min was a good one. Your ankle hasnât healed quite as much as Dr. Kim suspected, but progress is progress, and youâre making plenty of it, according to your most recent x-rays.Â
You enter the session with an apology for Dr. Kim and concentrated efforts to not let your gaze wander to the back corner of the room as you make your way over to where Jake and Jungwon sit. Starting your stretches, you assume Niki is over with Sunghoon, but you canât work up the nerve to confirm that.Â
Despite her initial annoyance at your tardiness, Dr. Kim is equally pleased at your latest x-ray results and gives you the green light to switch out the resistance bands youâve been using for the next level up. Just as youâre reaching for the set of red bands on the shelf next to the treadmills, a set of obnoxiously smooth hands gets there first.Â
Turning to Sunghoon with narrowed eyes, you grab the end of the band set he just snatched out from under you, eyes ablaze.Â
The little fucker has the gall to roll his eyes. âWhat are you doing?â
You yank on the band. He doesnât even flinch, grip steady. âIâm trying to follow Dr. Kimâs instructions,â you inform, tone flat.Â
This time when you yank again, he yanks back. Much to your annoyance, heâs able to exert enough force to have you stumbling forward. âYouâre trying to provoke me.â
âAnd itâs working,â Niki whispers to Jake and Jungwon in the back corner of the room. Dr. Kim just shakes her head.Â
âJust take the green bands,â Sunghoon suggests.Â
âThey donât have enough resistance. I need these ones,â you argue. âWhy donât you take the green ones?â
âPretty sure if one of us takes the lighter bands, it should be you.â Sunghoon tightens his grip. âOr are you seriously trying to claim that youâre stronger than me right now?â
âIâm using them for my legs, you absolute jackass. Which are definitely stronger than your forearms.â
Sunghoon cocks a brow. âShould we put money on it?â
âYou are such a dick. Dr. Kim literallyââ
âHas another set of red bands,â the woman in question interrupts. She levels the two of you with an exasperated look as she holds them out in front of her. âThereâs another set of every color on the equipment shelf next to the door.â
âOh, right,â you nod, pulling back a little on your end of the band before you release it, just to hear the small cry Sunghoon lets out when it snaps against the skin of his good wrist. âThanks.â
And the satisfaction that comes from completing your usual number of reps with a higher resistance is almost as gratifying as when you see Sunghoon rubbing at the still reddened skin on his left wrist as you pack up to leave for the day.Â
âThose two are gonna kill each other,â Jungwon tells Jake and Niki as the three of them walk to their cars, brow creasing in concern.Â
âOr something,â Jake agrees.Â
Niki hoists his bag up on his shoulder. âMy moneyâs on ___.â
A contemplative look passes between Jake and Jungwon before they nod in unison, âYeah.â
âŚ
Youâre in the middle of passing a medicine ball back and forth with Jake the following week when he asks, âAre your schoolâs finals next week too?â
And although itâs hard to believe, first semester is already drawing to an end as the days get shorter and assignments get longer.Â
âYeah,â you nod. âIâm up to my ass in essays right now.â
âSame,â Jake agrees. âSometimes it makes me wonder how I do it when Iâm training, too.â Although you agree, a pang of jealousy is the only thing his words inspire. Of the skaters on your team that are preparing to compete as you speak. That have already choreographed their routines and selected their music and are spending every waking moment perfecting each and every detail of their program.Â
Itâs hard. Itâs brutal. Youâd be the first to admit that. But you miss it all the same, so much it hurts.Â
A moment passes before he continues. âWell, anyway, Jungwon, Niki, and I were thinking that since none of us are training right now, we should celebrate the end of the semester like everyone else does.â
You arch a brow. âYouâre gonna have to be more specific than that.â
âRight, sorry,â he apologizes. âConsider this your formal invitation to get absolutely shitfaced with us next Friday.â
The laugh that bubbles in your throat is so unexpected you canât quite bite it back. While you have your fair share of good, old-fashioned fun, heâs right. Every other semester, youâve celebrated the end of finals season with a cup of hot tea and an early night in bed. Traded one source of stress for another as you woke up bright and early the next day to hit the ice.Â
You send him a smile, tossing the medicine ball back in his direction. âCount me in.â
âŚ
The following Friday night finds you double-checking the address on your phone before tentatively knocking on the front door of what you hope is Jakeâs apartment. In the middle of the university district across the city from your own, you canât say youâre familiar with any of the buildings outside of the athletic complex, which youâve only ever visited for a handful of competitions. It strikes you then that this is also the university Sunghoon attends. And, stomach dropping, that you never actually asked who all would be attending tonight.
Before you have the chance to spin on your heel and high-tail it down the stairs you just climbed, the door swings open. Itâs not Jake.Â
âOh,â you mumble. The boy who opened the door is not Jake, but he is very much attractive. âSorry. Iâm looking for Jake Simâs apartment.â Your voice turns up at the end like a question.Â
âYouâre in the right place,â he smiles, and itâs gorgeous. âIâm Heeseung, Jakeâs roommate. You must be ___.â He opens the door wider, allowing you space. âCome on in.â
âThatâs me.â You offer him a grateful smile as you enter, hanging your coat and sliding your shoes off.Â
The interior is surprisingly sophisticated, for a college boyâs apartment. Itâs clean, for starters, and as you follow Heeseung down the hallway towards the kitchen, you canât help but be impressed by their choice in decor.Â
âHelp yourself to anything.â Heeseung gestures to the impressive spread of snacks on the table. âBut first, can I get you something to drink?â
âUmâŚâ Your lack of alcohol-related knowledge is apparent, and the uncertainty must be obvious, because Heeseung just smiles again.Â
âIâve got you.â Thereâs an undertone of something in his words. Something playful, something bordering on flirty. But itâs too subtle to tell for sure, and youâre not one to bet on losing odds. He reaches for a glass and a handful of ice cubes. âDo you like fruity flavors?â
âYeah,â you nod. âThat sounds good.â Besides, itâs been a minute since youâve been well and truly flirted with at a college party by a boy that looks like he could spell trouble in his sleep. This could be fun, you think. Â
Glancing towards the adjacent living room, you notice the usual familiar faces. Jake and Niki are sitting on the couch while Jungwon chats with a pair of boys you donât recognize. Eyes tracing the perimeter, you feel your shoulders tense when they land on a familiar silhouette. Sunghoon has his back to you, but his identity is just as unmistakable as it was on your first day of physical therapy. Like Jungwon, heâs talking to another person you donât know.Â
Oh, well. Itâs too late to back out now and too early to make an exit. If you and Sunghoon can coexist in a room once a week without starting too many fires, youâre sure youâll manage to get through tonight just fine.Â
Heeseung hands you a full glass. Itâs cold where it meets your fingertips.Â
âShould we join them?â He inclines his head toward the living room and you nod.Â
Following in his footsteps, you wave a quick greeting to Jake before taking a seat next to Heeseung, enough space between you and Sunghoon for you to relax slightly.
âHow do you and Jake know each other?â You ask, searching for something to fill the silence, to keep the conversation flowing. âDo you play soccer together?â
Heeseung shakes his head. âNo, weâve been friends since elementary school. But I am on the basketball team, which helps. I feel like student athletes just kind of get each other, you know?â
You do know, and you tell him as much. The crazy schedule, the unwavering commitment. Itâs much easier to explain to someone thatâs living through the exact same thing.Â
âSpeaking of which, youâre a figure skater, right? For the university across town.â
You arch a brow. âIâm surprised Jake told you so much about you.â
âNot nearly enough,â he flirts, and this time itâs blatant.Â
You take another sip of your drink with upturned lips, weighing a response on your tongue. Before you can decide how many cards youâd like to show, you make eye contact across the room with the one person you were hoping to avoid.Â
Sunghoon looks equallyâscratch thatâeven more displeased to see you. Jawline so taught you could cut your finger on it and lips drawn in a straight line, heâs pissed where he locks eyes with you from his seat. Sunghoon is the one to avert his eyes first. Throwing back whateverâs in his cup, he slices through the moment of tension with a knife.Â
If Heeseung notices the way your breath splutters, he doesnât comment. Thankfully, Jungwon chooses the next moment to say his hellos and introduce you to the boys you hadnât recognized earlier.Â
âSunoo,â he nods towards the boy heâd been sitting with earlier, who offers a friendly greeting. âAnd thatâs Jay, over by Sunghoon. And youâve already met Heeseung.â
âAnd you all go to school here?â
âYeah,â Jungwon nods. âJay and I live together, and Sunoo is Nikiâs roommate.â
âYouâre deep in enemy territory,â Heeseung elbows you lightly, teasing. âWhat are we gonna do with you?â
You lift your now empty glass towards him, grinning. âGet me another drink, hopefully.â
Sending you a wink, he takes the glass from your outstretched hand before standing from the couch. âOn it.â You watch his back retreat into the kitchen, oblivious of the second one that follows it a handful of moments later.Â
Jay, as it turns out, is not an athlete, but does play guitar for a local band your friend has been raving to you about for ages. Heâs already promising you two sets of complimentary tickets to every one of their upcoming shows by the time you realize Heeseungâs been gone for a while. Too long.Â
Excusing yourself, you head toward the kitchen. And itâs just your luck that you find the person youâve spent the evening avoiding, instead of the one youâre searching for. Even with the buzz of your first drink fading rapidly, your inhibitions are feeling low.Â
Sunghoon barely has the chance to register your presence before youâre laying out accusations.Â
âI know you donât like me, but do you really have to spend the whole night glaring at me like that? In front of everyone?â
Sunghoonâs shoulders tense, a confirmation that he hears you, but he says nothing. Instead, he just swallows the remainder of his drink in one large gulp. His eyes are still flaring, and if you didnât know any better, youâd think you did something to piss him off.Â
But itâs just like him, to avoid conversations he doesnât want to have with the end of another drink. To treat you like someone not even worthy of a response. You donât know why you expected anything different. Scoffing, you notice the full drink sitting on the counter. Heeseung must have had the chance to refill it before disappearing.Â
You move to step around Sunghoon and reach for it when he finally says, âIâm not glaring at you.â
The gaze you level him with is incredulous. âDo you think Iâm stupid? I have eyesââ
âFor all I know you are stupid!â Sunghoon sighs, drags an open palm down the length of his face. âI mean, are you really gonna let some guy you just met pour your drinks all night?â
âHeeseung?â Youâre confused why all of his rage seems to be directed towards something so insignificant. âHeâs Jakeâs roommateâ
âAnd a complete stranger to you.â
Itâs infuriating, the way he assumes his opinion should hold any weight in your life. The way he thinks he has any say in your decisions. âSo should I avoid all the food now too?â Youâre being petty now for the sake of it. âI mean, since youâve been in here unsupervised for quite a while now.â You take another step towards your drink and he moves, blocking your path with his body.Â
When you look up, you find his eyes already trained on you, and thereâs no ice in them now. Just pure, unadulterated heat. Fire. Flames that lick the base of your spine. âYouâre so fucking agitating, you know that?â
âIâm agitating?â You take another step forward, hoping the proximity will force him away. It doesnât. If anything, he leans into it. Into you.Â
You reach for the drink again. This time, he stops you himself. Fingers of his unrestricted hand wrapping around your wrist.
âYeah.â His words are low, voice a caress even as it drips venom. You feel his breath ghost across your cheekbone. âReal fucking agitating.â
Your eyes are still locked on his, and you search them for a hint of something coherent, something that makes sense. Every bone in your body drawn taught, itâs as if muscle memory reverts you to the last moment you were like this, the last moment he held you this close, body entwined with his own in a familiar embrace. Your wrist slackens in his grasp.Â
Last time, he dropped you. Sent you scattering across ice until the only thing you could taste was the bitterness of defeat and the sharp sting of humiliation.Â
Last time, he let you fall.Â
You have no idea what heâll do now.Â
In the end, itâs the sound of approaching footsteps that has the two of you springing apart, your wrist falling from his grip. In the scramble, you remember your original target.Â
Despite the long melted ice, this drink feels even cooler in your grip, a stark contrast to the simmering heat just beneath your skin.Â
When Heeseung enters, heâs tucking his phone into his pocket with an apologetic look. âSorry, I had to take a call. My brother gets chatty at the worst times.â Nodding to your hand, he smiles, âYou found your drink.âÂ
âYeah, I did.â You take a step closer to the living room, closer to Heeseung. Further from Sunghoon.Â
Glancing between the two of you, thereâs a hint of uncertainty when Heeseung asks if you want to rejoin the others in the living room.Â
You put his worries to ease and your questions to rest when you agree easily, not even bothering to give Sunghoon a second thought.Â
You do seek his gaze one last time, though, before you follow Heeseung back to the party. Looking directly at him, you raise your glass in a mock toast. Without breaking eye contact, you bring the cup to your lips, swallowing half the drink in one long sip. When you do finally turn away, itâs to find the empty seat next to Heeseung.Â
The rest of the evening passes in a pleasant blur, trading stories and laughs with the people around you while Heeseung keeps the seat at your side warm. Sunghoon does you the favor of disappearing from sight after your stand off in the kitchen.
Itâs easy to relax into the company of everyone else, so much so that you donât see Sunoo until youâre running right into him, the contents of his cup saturating the front of your shirt.Â
Itâs a problem Heeseung is quick to solve, and the gray hoodie he offers you is cozier than any of your own with a scent thatâs almost addicting.Â
Heâs sweet, you think. Sweet and charming and forward in all of the right ways. Itâs solidified when he offers to join you on the porch when you tell him youâre stepping outside for some fresh air. Itâs cemented when he accepts your refusal with nothing but a smile and the request that you âcome back quick.â
Stepping outside, it takes you a moment to realize that youâre not alone. It would appear that your earlier assumption that Sunghoon must have gone back to his place was wrong. Thereâs no drink in his hand, but the way he sways with the gentle midnight breeze makes you think heâs still working through everything he downed earlier.Â
Silently, you glance up at the cloudless night sky, at the way the stars seem to wrap around you. Gaze returning to Sunghoonâs back, you suppose the simplest course of action would be to leave before he realizes youâre here. You turn to do just that, to make good on your promise to Heesung, when the sound of your name stops you in your tracks.Â
Or at least, you think thatâs what he says. Itâs hard to tell, with the way his syllables and sounds slur together. Turning back towards him, you find him already looking at you. He repeats your name, and this time around, itâs a bit clearer.Â
His eyes trace a downward line from your face to your change in clothes. Something in his face crumples, withers.Â
ââM sorry,â he slurs, words not lining up quite right through the inebriation.Â
âWhat?â
âThat day.â The sudden onset of sincerity in his tone makes him seem more sober than he is. âI should have caught you.â
The stars in the sky suddenly donât seem so far away. You must have heard him wrong. A crease forms between your eyebrows, eyes scanning over his features. Theyâre laid open in their honesty, no trace of deception.Â
âI wanted to catch you. I tried to.â He sighs. âWas my fault.â
âIâŚâ You search for words, for the vindication youâd always imagined youâd feel at his admission. In its absence, you find only confusion and an odd pang of regret. âWhat?â
âIâm sorry,â he repeats.Â
âSorry for what? Why are you bringing that up?â
He just shakes his head, eyes falling to his feet.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says again. Like a broken record. His pain is wrapped up in there too, trapped in a loop time has never quite let it escape.Â
When you return to the party, itâs with a jumbled excuse of needing to check on a pet cat you donât have.Â
In the haste of it all, you forget to so much as exchange numbers with Heeseung. But you do find the time to pull Jake aside on your way out the door, to make sure that he helps Sunghoon get home safe.Â
âŚ
The next morning greets you with a pounding headache and an unfamiliar hoodie draped over the back of your desk chair. It takes a moment of searching through hazy memories before recollection of that particular string of events finds you.Â
With a sigh, you head out in search of water and Advil, sending Jake a quick message that youâll stop by his apartment later to return Heeseungâs hoodie.Â
Even a handful of hours later, you canât decide if you hope Heeseung is home or not. Itâs a Saturday afternoon after a long night, so you figure the odds are high. But you still canât pinpoint whether that feeling in your gut is excitement or dread.Â
In an effort to delay the inevitable, you take a detour before visiting Jakeâs apartment again. Your rival universityâs sports complex is just as nice as you remember it, large, pristine buildings that hold everything an athletics department could dream of. Fondly, you remember the first time you skated in this stadium, back in middle school. It had felt so big, then, so special, to be skating for such a large crowd.Â
It felt even more special to be sharing the ice with someone who put dreams in your head and butterflies in your stomach. Still fairly new to pair skating, the two of you had put on a program with a less than favorable amount of deduction.Â
But still. It was yours. It was special. It was shared.Â
You wonder if he knew then, that one day he would be the reigning king of this very same rink.Â
Probably, you think. Park Sunghoon never had the habit of letting things feel impossible.Â
Looking down at the boot on your foot, you miss it, all of it, all at once. The late nights. The early mornings. The bruises and cuts and aching muscles. The determination after defeat. The elation after glory. The feeling of flying every time blade touches ice.Â
The sign posted next to the stadium is an advertisement, a reminder, of the upcoming regional championships. Thereâs a pang of loss, a moment of grief, for your program that will have to wait for next year.Â
But your x-rays are coming back better every time, and Dr. Kim is sure youâll be back on the ice by the time spring comes.Â
For the first time in a long time, you think itâll be okay. You know youâll be okay. Â
In front of you, the stadium door opens, and you realize youâre standing right in front of the exit.Â
âSorry,â you mutter, quickly moving to get out of the way, but then you take a closer look. âCoach Kang?â you ask, just as she says your name with the same air of disbelief.Â
Itâs an odd feeling of synchronicity, to stumble into your childhood skating coach just as youâre reminiscing on the past.Â
âItâs been so long,â she beams, pulling you in for a warm hug. âWhat are you doing here?â
âJust visiting a friend. What about you?â
âCoachesâ meeting,â she explains. âTrying to see if I can get some of my junior skaters in to watch a few practices before regionals.â Nudging you with her shoulder, she adds, âspeaking of which, howâs your program coming along? Are you getting excited?â
You shake your head. âIâm actually off the ice for this one.â Glancing down, you lift your booted foot in explanation. âAnkle fracture has me out for the rest of the season.â
âOh, no.â Coach Kang places a consolatory hand on your shoulder. âIâm sorry. That has to be so hard.â
âItâs okay, actually.â You donât know whoâs more surprised, her at your admission, or you at the fact that you actually mean it. âEverything is healing up nicely, so Iâm looking forward to an even better program next year.âÂ
âWell look at you, all grown up.â She smiles. âI can say that thirteen-year-old you would not have had such a good attitude about it. Honestly, Iâm surprised a fracture was enough to stop you. You were always so stubborn about things. You and Sunghoon.â She lets out a short laugh as your shoulders tense at the mention of him. âI was just thinking about you two the other day, actually. We had a skater fracture his tailbone and argue until he was blue in the face that he still wanted to compete.â Shaking her head, she adds, âIt reminded me of that time Sunghoon insisted on skating even though heâd just sprained his wrist.â She shakes her head again, releases a small laugh. âNever could keep you two off the ice.â
It all checks out, the stubbornness, the determination even when it was stupid. But youâre hung up on one detail. Youâre sure you could list every one of Sunghoonâs skating injuries just as thoroughly as he could. But before the current one, you canât recall any wrist injuries. âWhat? When did he sprain his wrist?âÂ
Coach Kang waves her hand flippantly, like the sinking feeling in your gut isnât intensifying with every passing moment, like she isnât about to confirm a realization youâre already dreading. âOh, you remember. It was just a few days before nationals that one year.â
That one year. She skirts around it, for your sake probably. But you know exactly what she means, when sheâs referring to.Â
And suddenly, youâre falling through air again, plummeting towards ice as a hand makes a desperate attempt to catch you. As sheer will alone is no match for injury weakened bones and ligaments and muscles. As youâre sliding across frozen ground and heâs gripping his wrist with pain on his face and terror in his eyes.Â
As your head spins, spots clouding your vision from the force of the impact. Before the world goes black, your eyes search for him.Â
And in those last few moments of consciousness, you watch as his mouth moves to form words you canât hear.Â
âIâm sorry.â
âŚ
Raising your fist, you pound at the door again. One, two, three times. At this rate, your knuckles will be bloody before you get a response.Â
But before you can start your assault on the wood in front of you again, the door swings open slowly, revealing a familiar frame.Â
âYou absolute idiot.â
âWell hello to you too.â Rubbing at his eyes, you appear to have just woken him from a nap. If his head is feeling anything like yours was this morning, you almost feel sorry.Â
But there are more pressing matters at hand. âWere you ever going to tell me?â
âThat Iâm an idiot? Probably not.â
âThat you sprained your wrist three days before nationals? That you skated anyway? That you attempted to catch a person quite literally spinning through the air with a wrist injury?â
A beat of silence passes.Â
And then another.Â
Sunghoon suddenly looks wide awake. âOh.â
âYeah, oh. What the hell were you thinking?â Thereâs fire in your eyes, an anger thatâs directed towards him but not in the ways heâs used to.Â
He pauses for a moment, eyes searching your features for another beat. Finally, he sighs. âWould you have let me skate if I did?â
Itâs not the answer you expect. And itâs just like him, to answer a question with one of his own. âI⌠what?â
âYou heard me.â His eyes donât leave yours. âWould you have let me get on the ice if you knew I was hurt?â
And what is it, him and his habit of asking ridiculous questions like they donât have obvious answers. âWhat kind of question is that? Of course not. No one in their right mind would have let you do that program with a wrist sprain, much less your partner. And I love Coach Kang, but Iâm about to file a negligence suit against her, because what the hell kind ofââ
âStop talking.â
âExcuse me?â
âSorry,â he grimaces, and youâre still getting used to the way apologies sound on his lips. âThat came out wrong. What I was trying to say was that you⌠Well, I⌠I meanâŚâ He trails off for the third time, casts a tentative look at the way your eyebrows only raise higher and higher every time he stops a train of thought in its tracks. His gaze falls down, somewhere between your nose and chin. An exhale passes through parted lips. Something in his resolve slips. âOh, fuck it.â
And then heâs kissing you.Â
Lips against lips and hands in your hair. Itâs messy and awkward, and you canât quite get the timing right.Â
Sunghoon pulls back a fraction of an inch, catching his breath and letting you do the same.Â
âWhat are you doing?â
Thereâs heat in his eyes and fondness too, a soft sort of expression that only melts further every time he looks at you. But now thereâs anxiety in the mix, a crippling fear that heâs misjudged everything entirely, done something horribly wrong.Â
âIâm sorry.â Before today, you could count his apologies on one hand. Now, youâre running out of fingers. âDid you not wantââ
This time, itâs you that pulls him down, hands lacing around the nape of his neck, exhaling a soft sigh against parted lips that sends his mind spinning.Â
And itâs only the second time, but itâs already better. Already a natural rhythm that the two of you seem to fall into with a little more grace.Â
The expanse of his door is cold against your back when Sunghoon pulls you into his apartment with his good hand, and heâs a quick study. Attempt number three is an even greater improvement as hands search for new skin to discover and things start to fall into place, one at a time.Â
Reaching for Heeseungâs forgotten hoodie, Sunghoon breaks the kiss only to toss it somewhere outside your current plane of existence. In this moment, you exist only within the space the two of you occupy, everything else an afterthought.Â
And you have the feeling attempt number four will be your best yet.Â
âŚ
epilogue
âAre you ever gonna join me or do I just have to stay out here looking stupid forever?â
You donât even take a moment to consider. âThe second one.â
âCome on,â Sunghoon pleads, skating back towards you where you remain planted firmly to the bench on the perimeter of the rink. He moves towards you with a grace that used to inspire a raging, stomping green monster of envy. Now, you just admire the way he cuts across the ice with the agility of a dancer. âItâs fun out here, I promise.â
Avoiding his gaze, you let your eyes fall to your feet instead. Theyâre already laced up in your favorite pair of skates, black boot all but forgotten since you had it removed at your last visit to Dr. Minâs office. Since he gave you the green light to return to the thing you love most.Â
You had been ecstatic then. Brimming with so much extra energy Sunghoon had to physically intervene to prevent you from accidentally knocking over an elderly lady on your way out of the hospital. But now, with the opportunity youâve been dreaming of for long, hard months at your fingertips, something in you hesitates.Â
Sunghoon says your name, and suddenly heâs serious. âThis is all youâve been talking about for months.â Sliding down onto his knees in front of you, youâre suddenly at eye level. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothing.â He casts a doubtful glance. âReally, I justâŚâ Itâs hard, to speak your fears into existence, to let them take flight. Even if the boy in front of you makes it a little easier. âWhat if itâs not what I imagined?â
Itâs a million little worries wrapped up in one. What if your ankle isnât the same? What if itâs never the same? What if youâre not as good as you were? What if youâre not good enough?Â
Sunghoon hears them all, and puts them to rest with a smile, a gentle touch as he rests his forehead against yours. âYou and that big brain. Always worrying about the wrong things.â
âHey! Iââ
âIt wonât be what you imagined.â He draws back a few inches, and your eyes have nowhere to land but on his own. âIt will be different. It will feel weird, and your legs will feel wobbly, your muscles will feel weak, and your ankle might give out.â
Your lips flatten into a thin line. âIf youâre trying to make me feel better, youâre doing a terrible job.â
Sunghoon just pinches your cheeks together, forcing your lips to purse. âSo youâll show up. Over and over again. Every day until your skates start to feel like a second pair of feet and the ice starts to feel like home again. Until your ankle and your muscles and your stamina are all built back up, in a way thatâs different from before but will feel familiar before you know it.â He presses a single, delicate kiss to the tip of your nose. âUntil Iâm dragging you off the ice instead of onto it, because your boyfriend needs attention and is feeling a little jealous of all the time youâre spending here instead of with him.â
You roll your eyes. âYouâre so needy. Itâs gross.â
Sunghoon only smiles. âOnly for you.â
This time, when he gets back on his feet and extends a hand, you take it. You follow him onto the ice and headfirst towards your insecurities feeling a little bit like a newborn deer, a bike without its training wheels.Â
He laughs when you stumble and brushes hair out of your face when you pout.Â
After an hour, youâre already feeling more solid than before. After two, that feeling of flying is starting to return.Â
Itâs somewhere just before hour three when Sunghoon says, âRemember how I told you earlier that youâre worrying about the wrong things?â
âYeah.â You drag the word out slowly, not liking the hint of deviousness in his sudden grin.Â
âThis is what I was talking about. Instead of worrying about getting back on the ice, you should be worrying about how long it will take you to be able to beat me on a lap around the rink.â
âYou absolute asshole. I fractured my ankle!â
Already halfway around the rink, Sunghoon just laughs.Â
âŚ
outtakeâfive years ago.Â
Sunghoonâs vision is blurry. Itâs a terrible combination of thingsâthe exhilaration of the spotlight, the pain in his wrist, the grief of an egregious error. The sudden onset of tears that sting in the corners of his eyes and fall without his permission.Â
Despite all of it, he finds his way back to his dressing room. Choking back a sob, he reaches for the glass of water heâd left out earlier. It tastes acidic on his tongue, burns like regret on the way down.Â
Stupid, he was so stupid. His hands tangle in his hair. He wants to pull it out. Wants to scream until his throat is raw and he canât anymore.Â
It was a terrible enough decision to gamble his own fate on an unhealed injury, but as the reality of the situation comes crashing down around him, he realizes heâs done something much worse.Â
Eyes open, eyes closed. It doesnât matter. All he can see is you, sprawled out on ice, limbs bent unnaturally, eyes dazed at the impact.Â
The unexpected impact. Because you trusted him. You trusted him so much that of course youâd never considered what you would do if his hands failed, if his wrist gave out. If he decided to risk your program, your fate, you, all on a whim, on an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of regard for the injury he was so certain he could power through.Â
He couldnât imagine it, three days ago. Telling you that he was injured, that he couldnât skate the program. He couldnât imagine watching as the features he bashfully considered so, painfully pretty twisted into disappointment. Into anger.Â
So he turned his shame into resolve, into determination. One that allowed him to catch you with a fractured wrist in every practice run, every time, except for the time that mattered. Biting back grimaces and cries of pain all for the foolâs hope of seeing you smile in a few daysâ time, a gold medal around your neck.Â
Instead, he got to see you spinning through the air, slipping through his fingers, landing with a sickening thud. He wants to ask what hospital they took you to, wants to ignore the pain in his wrist a little longer and run there himself, just to make sure that youâre okay.
But then he imagines the way youâll look at him when you see him. The way all that disappointment and anger heâd wanted to avoid so desperately will surely be all you have to offer him.Â
He understands. He does. He wouldnât want to see him either.Â
Turning away from the mirror, he tucks away his shame for the future. But that only leaves his gaze landing on the bouquet of flowers sitting on the table. The one heâd spent nearly an hour agonizing over, the one his mother had assured him a dozen times you would love. The one he made sure had all of your favorite colors.Â
He snuck his own favorite in there too, in hopes of what exactly he canât be sure, but he knows he likes the way they look togetherâyour favorite color and the deep blue irises that represent his own.Â
It seems to stupid now. After everything, after this, he canât imagine you want his flowers, and even less his favorite color. He canât imagine that you want anything to do with him.Â
So he doesnât seek you out. Not in the hospital that day, not when youâre cleared to practice and back on the ice again, not when chance has the two of you colliding five years later.Â
Not until he watches you walk away from him with all that anger and resentment and disappointment heâs been so avoiding for so long. Not until it strikes him in the face and he realizes that he canât live with it, canât let bygones be bygones and hope time and the absence of him in your life have healed you for the better when it still hurts to even look at you.Â
On a dressing room table, five years in the past, a bouquet of flowers wilts.Â
And Sunghoon learns that with love and patience and a little bit of sunlight, beautiful things, even the fragile ones, bloom when you water them.
.....
note: thank you for reading! as always, comments, reblogs, and asks are very much appreciated :D
#sunghoon fanfiction#enhypen fanfiction#park sunghoon#sunghoon#enhypen x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x you#enhypen x you#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon fanfic#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon angst#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios
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Endless Adoration
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a524907577d7577d384b6a02bf7918b5/3e0cf64a39aa59a8-82/s540x810/71d67ce8713f80d9d7de54c4085e91354cbbc190.jpg)
â Mingyu has been irrevocably in love with you since he was in high school. He decides to keep this a secret until he can move on since youâve only ever seen him as your best friendâs brother. However, his plan goes awry when you ask him to take your virginity and teach you about sexâas a friend, of course. â
PAIRING: kim mingyu x female reader
GENRE: best friends brother au, friends with benefits au, fluff, smut
WORD COUNT: 7.2k
WARNINGS: bestieâs brother!mingyu, virgin!reader, secret pining, suppressed feelings, discourse of how to pronounce caramel, mingyu is the textbook definition of down bad, loss of virginity, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, mirror sex, riding, squirting, multiple creampies, cum eating
A/N: this fic is my contribution to the fall season and part of the fall-ing for you collab! hope you all enjoy! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
Itâs no secret that Mingyu is an affectionate man.
Acts of service and giving out his affection is his love language, and everyone knows it. Which is why no one really questions his behavior toward you. If he laughs a little too hard at something you said or always comes to your defense even when youâre wrong, itâs not really suspicious because heâs just a kind and gentle guy.
His little sister, however, does not see it that way.
Minseo knows her brother, and while he may be a walking green flag and a gentleman among beasts, heâs not that nice. Vernon argues that itâs only because you two are best friends that Mingyu treats you just a bit better than anyone else. Itâs a viable argument, yet the little telltale signs point to Mingyuâs actions being more than common curtesy.
Like now as youâre arguing with Seungkwan during game night about the correct pronunciation of your favorite candy.
âItâs caramel.â
You scoff, eyebrows furrowed defiantly as you glare at Seungkwan. âNo. Itâs caramel.â
Vernon and Seokmin watch the exchange with amused smiles while Minseo watches her brother. He wears a similar expression, except thereâs a subtle emotion in his eyes as heâs looking at you. Itâs been there since you slapped down your last two Uno cards in repulsed shock when Seungkwan mispronounced caramel.
Ten minutes later, neither of you are willing to concede to the other and Mingyu still looks like a lovesick puppy.
âIn what world is it caramel?â Seungkwan screeches, rising up from his spot on the couch.
âMingyu.â You call suddenly. âIs it caramel or caramel?â
Two pair of heated eyes look over to him pointedly. The room goes silent as everyone waits for the answer that will possibly get you two to stop arguing. Minseo watches her brother carefully as he puts down his nearly empty beer bottle. The move seems casual, but she knows he does it to distract himself from the fact that youâre practically saying take my side.
âItâs caramel.â
âHa!â You yell in victory, pointing a smug finger at a sulking Seungkwan. âI told you!â
Your friendâs pout is bitter. âThatâs not fair! You only asked Mingyu because you know heâs going to agree with you no matter what!â
Itâs true, and the rest of your giggling friends know it. Minseo doesnât miss her brotherâs bashful smile, and it makes her realize that there might actually be something deeper than just a crush. So she waits until all the guests leave to confront her brother about his not-so-subtle behavior.
âIs there something going on with you and Y/N?â
Now, her brother is naturally clumsy and pretty terrible at hiding his feelings, but Minseo didnât expect him to drop all the board games he was carrying. He scrambles to pick up all the scattered pieces, pointedly looking at the ground and not up at her with a pout like he wouldâve usually done.
âIââ He coughs awkwardly as he haphazardly shoves random pieces into the wrong boxes. âWhat are you talking about?â
Itâs almost insulting that he thinks he can hide the truth from her. âI mean that I already know everything. So quit playing, and tell me how long this has been going on.â
Mingyuâs broad shoulders slump in defeat. He shouldâve known that Minseo would find out (she had a knack for finding out everything), but he honestly didnât expect her to find out this soon.
âFine.â His tone is resigned as he puts the precariously stacked board games on the coffee table. âItâs true that I took Y/Nâs virginity, but I swear that I only did it because she askedââ
âYou what?â
His sisterâs sharp tone makes him pause. Minseoâs mouth is dropped open and her eyes are almost popping out of her head. Belatedly, Mingyu realizes that his little sister is not referring to the favor you had asked him to do weeks ago. An uncomfortable chill goes down his spine.
Fuck.
You were going to kill him.
Itâs not Mingyuâs fault.
When you came to him and asked him to teach you how to have sex, he was rendered powerless to your pretty eyes that shined with so much trust. He knows itâs wrong for him to take his little sisterâs best friendâs virginity, but ever since you were kids, heâs never been able to tell you no. Years later, nothing has changed.
âSpread them wider, baby.â His voice rasps as his hands go to pry your thighs apart until heâs left with the sight of your glistening cunt.
Mingyuâs cock twitches at the sight of your pretty pussy. Fuck. Youâre dripping in your own arousal, and all heâs done is kiss you and mark up a few places on your body. And yet, thereâs already a messy web of arousal covering your puffy lips. His groan is deep and almost animalistic when he sees your pretty cunt clenching with need.
Minseo be damned, he was going to absolutely ruin you.
You mewl softly when Mingyu presses his middle and index fingers against your cunt to spread your lips apart. The heat from his fingers feels different from when you touch yourself. It feels so much better, and you have to bite your lip to stop the moans and whimpers from escaping like they want.
Your best friendâs brother has always been unfairly attractive, but heâs never looked hotter to you than he does now, licking his pink lips while looking at your pussy.
Mingyu glances up at you with a raised eyebrow. âYouâve really never done this before?â
The beefy puppy between your legs thinks he might actually come untouched when you pout at him. That exact look is what got him into this situation in the first place. Your adorable pout always brought him to his knees.
âGyu.â You whine, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment. âYou said you wouldnât tease me.â
He loves when you call him that, and it takes everything in him to hold himself back from shoving his cock inside you and fucking you roughly like he wants. That would have to be for another time.
âIâm not, baby.â He assures you before he presses a gentle kiss to your inner thigh. âI just need to know how far I should take this.â
The frown you give him is oddly determined. âYou said youâd teach me everything.â
Fuck.
Mingyu wonders if you actually know what youâre asking for, but then he has to remind himself that youâre only inexperienced, not stupid. You came to him because you trust him, and he wouldnât ever betray that trust. If you happened to be uncomfortable with anything, he would stop right away. Though, it seems like you have no intentions of telling him to stop.
The soft moan you let out when Mingyu starts to gently toy with your dripping slit is like music to his ears. He thinks you canât get any hotter, but then you buck your aching cunt into his hand as if to say get on with it. Ever powerless to your desires, Mingyu slips two fingers past your folds. He curls them experimentally, feeling your warm, wet cunt stretch around his long fingers. Just as he thought. Virgin tight.
âFuck.â His growl is deep and has you clenching down on his fingers. âI need to taste you.â
Arousal is clouding your mind and making you feel drunk. The way Mingyu is looking at you like youâre the thing heâs wanted the most in the world has you gushing all over his fingers. His hot mouth latches on to your clit, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. You cry out loudly as his fingers slowly start to fuck your hole, stretching you out to prepare you for his cock.
âGyu!â You cry out as you arch you back, grinding your cunt into his face in search of release.
Your moans become broken when he forces his tongue into the tightness of your pussy. The groans he lets out makes you release more juices into his awaiting mouth. Itâs almost embarrassing the way his room is suddenly full of the wet squelching sounds coming from your cunt, but you feel too good to actually care.
âFuck, Y/N.â Mingyu groans into your sopping cunt. âYou have the sweetest little cunt.â
All you can focus on is the way his tongue is fucking into you with a force that has you seeing stars. He runs his soft tongue along your aching folds skillfully until all you can do is cry out for him. Mingyu smirks into your folds, fingers slowly massaging deep inside you. The wanton cries youâre letting out make him scissor his fingers so youâll be prepped enough to take his cock.
When you look down and see Mingyuâs pretty eyes looking up at you with unadulterated desire, the coil building in your stomach abruptly snaps. Mingyu moans along with you as you come all over his face. His cock twitches against the sheets when you keep rocking your hips to grind your cunt into his mouth. With a low groan, he keeps going, using his tongue to fuck you through your orgasm.
Youâre a panting mess by the time he pulls away. His chin is covered in your release, and you briefly wonder how someone can be so fucking attractive. Mingyu licks his lips before he smashes them on yours. The taste of your own release makes you moan into his mouth, loving how his lips feel against yours.
You chase his lips when he suddenly pulls away. Itâs almost cruel of him to laugh when you whine petulantly after he doesnât give you what you want. But you canât truly be mad. Not when it concerns Mingyu.
âAre you ready?â
Your attention is quickly drawn to his throbbing cock. He canât deny the pleasure it gives him to see you gaping at it. It makes Mingyu think about the face youâll make when heâs splitting you open.
âItâs...â Huge. You swallow nervously. âWill it fit?â
You canât take your eyes off his monstrous dick. Heâs stroking himself slowly, smearing the precum dribbling from his fat tip all over his veiny length. You can only watch in fascination like youâre in a trance, pussy clenching in desire. The only dicks youâve ever seen are the ones from porn, but even those donât compare to how thick and pretty Mingyuâs looks.
âDonât worry, pretty girl.â Mingyu licks his lips, mind clouded with a lustful haze. âIâll make it fit.â
The face you make when he uses your arousal to get his dick wet nearly makes him come right then and there. After years of fucking his fist to the thought of you, he finally has you underneath him looking more irresistible than ever.
âReady, baby?â The pet name continues to fall from his lips so easily, and itâs making you unreasonably more horny than you already are. âRemember you can tell me to stop anytime.â
âOkay.â You breathe out in anticipation. Instead of being nervous, youâre just eager, and you know itâs because youâre doing this with Mingyu who actually cares about you.
Mingyu shudders in pleasure as he slowly sinks his leaking tip into your tight pussy. Your warm and wet and already gripping him so tightly that he wonders if heâll come once he gets the rest of cock inside you. The choked gasp of pleasure you let out makes him throb with pride and arousal. Your pretty mouth is dropped open in a silent moan, and he has to swoop down to give you a sweet kiss.
You whimper into his mouth, starting to feel the stretch burn as he continues to slide in deeper. Mingyu pulls away to place tender kisses along your jaw, whispering into your heated skin about how good youâre taking him. A soft moan is pulled from your throat when he rubs gentle circles on your clit. It eases the sting, and soon enough pleasure cancels out the pain.
âG-Gyu.â You mewl as he finally bottoms out, heavy balls resting against your ass. âFuck. Your cock is so big.â
Your fucked out whine makes his dick throb. Mingyu only offers you a shy chuckle, thumb still working your sensitive clit. Your hot cunt is pulsing and gripping him so tightly that he knows the slightest movement will have him busting inside you. And while thatâs one thing heâs dreamed of for a long time, this was about your pleasure not his.
âLike it?â His voice is seductive and not teasing at all which just turns you on more. âTell me, pretty girl. Let me hear you.â
His hips shift, and it makes his cock curve into your sweet spot that makes you arch your back. The moan you let out is louder this time, hips bucking in need. Your arousal is drenching his cock and spilling down to coat his heavy sack.
âFeels so fucking good, Gyu! Please move!â You whimper desperately as you wrap your legs around his waist.
Mingyu moans into your skin, hips moving upon your command. He starts to thrust in and out of your hot cunt with precise yet slow movements. His hands trail up to your bouncing tits, gently caressing and rubbing your hardened nipples. You moan again, turned on by how tenderly heâs touching you.
âTold you weâd make it fit, pretty.â His grin is so attractive that it makes you tighten impossibly and stain his cock with more cream.
Mingyuâs hips start to snap a little more desperately now. His cock seems to swell when he looks down to see how tightly youâre gripping him. Strings of arousal cling to your skin and his as he continues to stretch out your tight little cunt. His heavy balls slap against your ass as you continue to moan in pleasure.
âYouâre dripping all over me, babe.â He grunts, feeling like heâs in heaven. âAm I making you feel that good?â
Just like outside the bedroom, Mingyu likes to be praised. Your heart swells with fondness, unable to believe how cute he can be even as heâs splitting you open on his cock. It makes you want to oblige him all the more.
âSo fucking good, Gyu.â You moan wantonly as his cock continues to spear into you.
Youâre sensitive, mewling and whining in pleasure as he snaps his hips at the perfect speed and intensity. Mingyu lets out a deep groan when your thighs start to quiver. Your eyes are rolling back as his cock keeps slamming against your sweet spot, and heâs enjoying every second of it.
âGod, youâre pretty.â Mingyu moans as you squeeze his cock tighter. âPrettiest little thing ever.â
Your entire body heats up, and you canât help but pull him down for a passionate kiss. Mingyu moans into your mouth. His soft lips move against yours with a need that makes you ravenous. You start to meet his thrusts, eager for more of him.
The sound of wet skin slapping fills the room, and you donât ever want it to end. Mingyuâs mouth, hands, and cock are too addicting for you to ever want anything else. With the way his throbbing dick keeps fucking into you desperately, youâre pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
When he reluctantly pulls away from your sweet lips, he trails wet kisses down to your neck. You moan out his name when you feel him start to mark you up. The ache in his cock grows when he feels your nails dig into his shoulders. Your sensual moans of his name sounds like music to his ears, and he knows heâll be fucking his hand to the memory often.
Your orgasm is close, the coil in the pit on your stomach on the verge of snapping. All it takes is for his long fingers to smooth over your wet clit, rubbing fast circles on the sensitive bud for you to come undone. Your back arches off the mattress as you gush all over his cock with a loud cry of Mingyuâs name.
The erotic and breathtaking sight of you coming on his cock is something that leaves him breathless. Itâs all Mingyu needs for his own orgasm to rip through him. He stills with a low groan of your name. You can feel his cock pulsate inside you as he shoots thick ropes of cum into your pussy. The two of you are moaning and whimpering as your walls spasm around his aching cock.
âThatâs it, baby.â Mingyu moans as he rolls his hips to fuck you through both your highs.
Youâre whimpering in pleasure, milking him for every last drop of cum he has. The way he fucks it back into you makes you feel delirious with pleasure, and your cunt gets tighter with need at the thought of doing it all over again.
Mingyu holds you close as you both pantâspent and satisfied. He gently coos at you, sweetly caressing your face as he keeps his cum plugged inside you with his still-throbbing cock.
âHow was it, baby?â He wonders, big puppy dog eyes searching your face for any signs of discomfort. âI didnât hurt you, did I?â
You wrap your arms around his muscular back, bringing a hand up to gently play with his hair. The gentle hum you let out eases his worries. âYou were amazing.â
The smile he gives you is bright and makes your chest jerk with affection. Mingyu gently caresses your body, telling you how good you were for him. It makes you burn for him all over again.
Before you can convince him to fuck you again, he gets up and goes into the bathroom. You watch curiously as he brings back a wet towel. Itâs warm against your skin as he starts to clean you up. The act is somehow more intimate than him stuffing you full of cum, but you donât hate it.
Once heâs done, he gets back into bed with you. It takes you by surprise when he pulls you on top of him. Mingyu caresses your naked back, basking in the feeling of your weight on him. His heart jumps when he feels you start to trace small patterns on his chest.
âCan we do that again?â Your voice is coy, and he really fucking loves it.
âYes.â He promises. âIâll order some takeout for us first then we can do it again. Unless you want to do it now.â
You stay silent for a moment before nuzzling your face his sculpted chest. With your eyes closed, you let out a content sigh. âLetâs just stay like this for a little while.â
Mingyu caresses your head with a love stricken smile you canât see. âOkay.â
In retrospect, Minseo shouldâve realized it sooner.
The signs were thereâhave always been there, apparently. Itâs almost embarrassing that it took her so long to realize something was going on. Especially when she thinks back to the annual camping trip that took place a week ago.
It started off like all the other trips, except Mingyu insisted that you drive with him since he wouldnât subject you to being a third wheel to his sister and Vernon. This was only the start of Mingyuâs unwarranted clinginess toward you. Minseo didnât think too much of it because no one liked being the third wheel, and her brother always has a way of guilt tripping like no oneâs business.
The campground looks beautiful covered in hues of red and yellow. Mingyu has brought along his camera and is already taking pictures and candids of everyone setting up their space. He especially captures some of you taking in the beautiful autumn scenery. You always looked so pretty when you had a look of awe and wonder on your face.
âI didnât see you taking that many pictures of me.â Seungcheol teases as he peeks at the camera screen Mingyu is smiling fondly at.
His friendâs neck burns, and before he can think to say anything back, your voice grabs his attention. Seungcheol snickers quietly. Itâs this simple action that Minseoâs attention again.
âGyu.â You whine, holding up the tent you brought in frustration. âHelp me.â
Her helpful brother goes over to you immediately like a puppy being called by its owner. Minseo shouldâve thought more about the way he hands over his prized possession to Seungcheol like itâs nothing. The smitten smile he directs at you doesnât seem that way to her in the moment, but againâhindsight.
Mingyuâs tone is playful as he asks you what you need. You donât answer him because in the next second he tells you to follow the instructions in spite of the fact that heâs already starting to put the sticks together to actually lift the tent off the ground. Mingyu goes on to say that you shouldâve gotten a smaller, one-person tent instead of a large dome tent big enough to fit five people inside.
âThe guy at the store told me it would be easy to set up!â You whine with a frown. âAnd itâs not my fault the instructions are impossible to understand.â
Mingyuâs laughter is full of affection and adoration. He shakes his head fondly as he continues to build your tent for you. âYou need to learn how to do these sorts of things.â
âWhy? Thatâs why I have you.â
Once again, she shouldâve thought more about the bashful look on Mingyuâs face and the way his ears and neck turned red. Instead, she chose to make sure that Vernon was setting up their own tent correctly because she had also bought one very similar to yours.
By the time everyone has their tents set up, the sun is starting to set. Mingyu helps Seungcheol start the fire while everyone else helps prepare the snacks and drinks.
The vibe is peaceful as you all settle around the fire. Mingyu claims the spot next to you, and youâre all too happy to have him by your side. It goes unnoticed, but now the image is clear in Minseoâs memories.
âHere.â
You look over to see Mingyu handing you a stick with a perfectly roasted marshmallow at the end of it. Maybe itâs the way the setting sun hits face or maybe itâs the fact that he was careful not to burn the marshmallow since you didn't like that. Either way your chest throbs with something youâre sure is not appropriate to feel for your best friendâs brother.
âThanks, Gyu.â You smile at him before you start making your sâmores.
The night progresses like this, with Mingyu roasting your marshmallows and you happily making the sâmores. Vaguely, you wonder if itâs right to keep doing this with him. Heâs so sweet and attentive that sometimes this line youâve drawn gets blurry. The worst part is that you donât mind if that line isnât clear because being with Mingyu is like having a cup of hot cocoa when itâs coldâcomforting and appealing.
For now, you decide to enjoy the moment. Evaluating feelings and this deep affection you feel would have to wait.
Fall has always been a special time for Mingyu. The leaves always change to beautiful red and golden colors, the weather turns the kind of crisp thatâs invigorating, and itâs a time when family gets together. And possibly the most important reason: itâs the season when he met you.
He was only nine years old when you two met. It was a random autumn day meant to uphold the lifetime tradition of his parents taking him and Minseo to the pumpkin patch. Picking out pumpkins was something he looked forward to all year because it was a time where his entire family was together.
Mingyu vividly remembers being caught by surprise when his sister brought along an unexpected guest. She was holding the hand of a girl with a solemn expression that was a great contrast to her own bright one. Minseo cheerfully introduced the unknown girl as her best friend. You had offered him a barley-there wave that had him wondering how his sunshine of a sister could possibly like someone so closed off.
It was a misconception on his part because on the car ride to the pumpkin patch, he realizes his sister couldnât have found a better friend. Minseo talks possibly more than he does, but you listened to every word attentively, like actually listen. Also, you offered her (and Mingyu after some shy contemplation) the snacks in your bag.
Your overly cautious attitude reminded Mingyu of his cousinâs unfriendly cat. Trying to get you to open up was a challenge, but you slowly started to warm up to him as the evening went on. He truly won you over after he offered to carry the heavy pumpkin you chose. The unsure pout you directed at him was adorable, and his heart just soared when you quietly thanked him.
âHere.â You huffed out, feeling embarrassingly shy as you stuck out your small hand.
Mingyuâs grin soothed the bashfulness. He thanked you for the candy you gave him, claiming that the caramel you put in his hand is his favorite.
Looking back on it, that was the first time you tugged on his heartstrings.
Of course, it was completely innocent back then. There was no way you couldâve known that Mingyu held on to that piece of candy for as long as he could until he forgot it in a pair of pants that his mom threw in the washer. Nor could you have known that as you two got older, it killed him just a little bit every time you referred to him as Minseoâs older brother.
These feelings donât make sense in his mind, but it all becomes clear to him the fall of his junior year.
Just like all those years ago, you found yourself at the pumpkin patch. Except this time you donât have either of the Kim siblings by your side. Minseo was hanging out with her almost-boyfriend and of course Mingyu hadnât joined you two at the pumpkin patch for years now. You werenât uncomfortable being alone, but it did feel odd picking out a pumpkin without Minseo inspecting it to make sure you picked one suited for carving.
In your lonely search, you meet Lee Chan. He too had been left alone after his friends went off with their respective partners. What you donât realize is that your resident puppy boy is watching this kindred meeting from afar. Unbeknownst to you, Minseo had texted her older brother asking him to keep you company because she still felt sorry for leaving you alone.
At the time, Mingyu canât explain why his chest feels strangely heavy. It feels like he canât approach you despite knowing you wouldnât be unhappy to see him. So he doesnât even though itâs arguably one of the hardest things heâs ever had to do. Later that night, his mom helps him come to the conclusion that this icky feeling is none other than petty jealousy.
As a teenage boy who loved his little sister more than anything, this realization was devastating. It was very likely that Minseo would be upset if she ever found out her brother had a crush on her best friend. The fear of what would happen if his feelings ever came to light was the reason Mingyu decided to keep it a secret.
After all, it was just a small, harmless crush.
Unfortunately for Mingyu, this teeny tiny crush soon blossomed into something more intense that heâs not ready to acknowledge. Time goes by, and yet his feelings havenât gone away even when he starts to date. It makes him feel icky, and most likely the reason why none of his relationships ever last.
When itâs time for him to leave for college, he thinks that maybe he can move on. Only, you never give him that chance.
âWhy donât you ever bring enough clothes?â
It might seem like Mingyu is scolding you, but heâs actually only worried that you seem to value fashion over practicality. Your heart jumps when he takes off the scarf heâs wearing to put it around you, making sure it covers your neck and looks pretty with the outfit youâve chosen. He doesnât seem to notice that your eyes shine with endearment as he adjusts it to cover your mouth.
âCome on.â He absentmindedly grabs your hand, not realizing his touch is making your heart pound. âThe cafe is only open for another hour.â
Mingyu had insisted that this new cafe had drinks to die for. So he waited until you got off work to go with you together. Youâre glad his scarf covers the lower half of your face because youâre sure every single emotion you feel for him would be very obvious as he hands you a warm cup.
Walking in silence with Mingyu isnât ever uncomfortable, but it does leave you to contemplate how youâre going to confess to him. Heâs been nothing but sweet to you, and you hope he wonât be upset at your sudden feelings since youâre the one who insisted the sex between you two would be strictly platonic.
âWhat are you thinking so hard about?â
It kills you that Mingyu can look so pretty while heâs tilting his head at you curiously. You let out a nervous breath. It was now or never.
âYou told Minseo you took my virginity.â
The air goes still, and you feel like smacking yourself because thatâs not at all what you were planning to sayânot like that, anyway. Mingyuâs eyes practically pop out of his head as he feels a blush crawl up his neck and suffuse throughout his face. You donât seem angry, but he canât really tell with his scarf covering your face.
âIâm sorry!â He rushes. âI didnât mean to, butââ
âIâm not mad.â You assure him with a laugh.
âYouâre not?â
âNo.â You let out a fond laugh. âAnd Minseo isnât either.â
Before Mingyu can fully process your words, you crush him with a hug. His eyes widen slightly, but he doesnât hesitate to wrap his arms around you and press himself closer to you.
âI like you, Mingyu.â You confess, feeling like your heart is on the verge of exploding. âI like you so much.â
He stills in your arms. Slowly, he pulls away to look at your face. His expression is one of pure shock, and before you can brace yourself for any kind of rejection, Mingyu is kissing you.
The movements of his soft lips are needy and full of undeniable want. You moan into his mouth, returning his kiss with just as much vigor. It all feels like a wonderful dream, especially when you whisper against his lips that you want to go back to your place.
If this is a dream, Mingyu wishes it could go on forever.
Having you kneeled between his parted thighs, worshipping his cock in the exact way heâs shown you how has him coming apart quickly. Youâre slobbering all over him, saliva slipping down the sides of his dick to lubricate him.
âFuck, Gyu. You have the prettiest cock ever.â You gush, entire body hot with arousal and want.
The way he actually blushes as you praise him has your cunt dripping with more juices. You canât wait to wreck him and have him writhing in pleasure. His cock is throbbing as you continue to lick and stroke him with your mouth. Your tongue swirls around his leaking tip, licking into the slit which causes him to let out a guttural groan. The moans you let out run through the length of his dick in the most pleasurable way.
Mingyu feels completely fucked out at this point. He canât believe how good youâve gotten at sucking his cock. And now, heâs going to be the only man to experience what that pretty little mouth can do.
âY/N, fuck.â He cries out as his orgasm abruptly hits.
As always, Mingyu looks absolutely breathtaking when he comes. His mouth is dropped open as a pretty blush covers his entire face. Dark eyes are unfocused and dazed as he keeps releasing thick ropes of cum into your mouth. The way you keep pumping and sucking him to squeeze more cum out of him is starting to make him tremble.
You pull off his cock with a satisfied grin. Mingyuâs chest is heaving as you go to straddle him.
âWait!â He pants out, slowly coming out of his euphoric bliss. âItâs your turnââ
âI want you to fuck me now.â
Mingyu groans when he feels your creamy folds slide over his twitching cock. âBut I really want to taste you.â
Heâs so cute, you think as your cunt leaks with arousal. You hum in pleasure as you rub your aching cunt over the length of his dick. His fat tip is enveloped between your warm lips every time you grind forward while his heavy sack is slowly getting soaked with your arousal.
âTell you what, puppy. After you fill me up with your cum Iâll let you eat it out of me, okay?â
You feel his cock throb at your words as your cream covers him entirely. Mingyu nods cutely, and thatâs all you need to grab his pulsing cock. Heâs hot and heavy in your hand as you tease him by circling his tip against your slick entrance.
Mingyu moans loudly when you sink down. A choked whimper is forced out of him as you take him entirely, puffy lips brushing against his pelvis. His thick veins drag against your hot walls deliciously until his heavy balls are flush against your ass. Itâs like all the air is being shoved out of your body to make room for his cock.
âGod, Y/N. I need you to move. Please.â
You slowly grind on his cock, juices dripping down to his big balls and making a mess all over him. Itâs probably really hard for him not to fuck his cock up into you, and it really turns you on that heâs trying so hard. You can tell heâs on the verge of breaking. Literally you can feel it. His cock keeps throbbing inside you like itâs on the verge of exploding.
âShow me what Iâve taught you, baby.â His voice is sultry and temptingâsomething you canât say no to.
Immediately, you start to gyrate your hips. You two moan in sync as your pussy clenches tightly on his cock. Mingyu sucks on his bottom lip, completely beginning to lose his composure. His hands go to your waist, slowly guiding you as his imploring eyes gaze up at you with unmatched desire.
âFuck, Gyu!â You cry out. âYouâre so deep!â
The sound of your pleased cry, Mingyu starts to move his hips to thrust up into you. He groans lowly because it feels like his aching cock is hitting the hilt of your sopping pussy. Your soft hands smooth over his naked torso, crying out his name as you feel every inch of his muscular chest.
âMmmh, pretty girl.â Mingyu hums in pleasure as his big hands smooth down your body to grab your ass. âFucking my cock just right. Feels so fucking good.â
When he starts to kiss and suck on your neck as his cock spears into you, the coil in your stomach snaps. You moan his name loudly as you come all over his dick. Loud squelching fills the room as he continues to bounce you on his lap. His thickness is stretching you deliciously, the unmistakable sound of his heavy balls smacking against your ass mixing in with your moans of pleasure.
Mingyu fucks into you a few more times before you feel his hot, thick cum spurt inside you. His euphoric moan is as pretty as ever, and you canât help but move your hips to fuck him through his high.
You sag against him, and itâs silent for a moment until you bring your lips to his ear. âI want more of your cum, puppy.â
Thatâs how you find yourself on your side with Mingyu behind you. Your back is pressed against his beefy chest as he lifts your leg up to expose your soiled cunt to the cool air. He nuzzled his nose into your neck before he trails it up to your cheek. Your body shivers as his arm breath fans against your ear.
âWatch how your pretty pussy stretches open for me.â
You wonder what he means until his other hand lifts up your chin delicately to look at the full body mirror he bought for you a week ago after you told Minseo you wanted it. His fat cock is teasing your entrance, and the filthy sight makes your cunt flutter in need.
Without a word of warning, Mingyu thrusts his thick dick inside you, heavy sack flush against your creamy cunt. You whine out in pleasure, feeling completely full and stuffed to the brim. Itâs impossible to look away from the mirror because you can see how tightly your pussy is gripping him.
Mingyuâs cock throbs inside you as his skin tingles with desire. He starts to thrust slowly. The lewd wet sound coming from your cunt is erotic as it fills your room. You moan again when the hand that isnât spreading you open comes up to play with one of your tits. The sensations of his cock hitting your sweet spot while his fingers pinch and pull on your erect nipple have you close again.
If you werenât so drunk on the pleasure Mingyuâs throbbing cock is providing you with, youâd tell him to let you record because the sight of him doing you like this is one you want to remember forever. His thrusts start to pick up as your moans get louder. Heâs groaning into your ear as his fat tip slams against your cervix.
Mingyu pounding into you while in this positions feels like heâs tearing your pretty little pussy apart. He messily kisses your jaw as start to tremble in his hold, grunting when you tighten around him once again like youâre trying to milk him.
âYou look so pretty like this, baby.â Mingyuâs moan is low, but you hear it perfectly. âSweet little pussy was made to take my cock.â
Your eyes roll back as you whimper out a nearly incoherent agreement. So lost in pleasure, you donât realize your second orgasm is one thrust away.
âMingyu!â You moan as your orgasm hits.
Juices spurt out obscenely and cover his entire cock and the sheets bellow you. Mingyu groans as he holds your legs wide open. He keeps fucking your messy cunt as you squirt all over him. All you can make out in your euphoric haze is Mingyu calling you pretty while his twitching cock keeps ramming deep into you.
âFill me up.â You manage to mewl out as you turn your head to give him a sloppy kiss.
Mingyu moans into your mouth, thrusting into you deeply before he stills. He forces his tongue into your mouth as he floods your sloppy cunt with his cum. You swallow each others moans as he stuffs you full to the point where you can feel it leak out of you. The feeling of his cock pulsing inside you is one of your favorite feelings which is why youâre eager to feel it at least one more time.
Itâs why Mingyu is quick to put you into a different position, your legs pressed into your chest as he rams his aching cock inside you once again. Your fucked out eyes are the prettiest, and he knows that heâll never get tired of that stare. He loves how your gaze never loses the affection you feel for him. It makes him feel like youâll never leave him.
âYou feel so good, Gyu.â You whimper as his big cock spears into you.
Mingyu roughly pounds into your ruined cunt, not holding back since heâs determined to fill you up one last time. His cock throbs as your mouth drops open in a silent scream. Your pretty mewls and whines mix in perfectly with the sound of skin slapping. It only makes him fuck you harder.
His dick forces out an obscene amount of juices from your fluttering pussy. Mingyu is so deep that it almost feels like heâs in your guts. You always feel so full when he fucks you like this, and all you can feel is bolts of euphoria dancing across your skin.
âCome for me, pretty.â Mingyu urges sweetly as he hooks your legs over his shoulders. âCome all over my cock and cover me with your sweet cream.â
Somehow he feel just as deep from this angle. He keeps railing your tight cunt, splitting you open to fully claim you as his. Your senses go into overdrive when he slips his fingers down to your puffy clit to rub gentle circles. At this point youâre trembling beneath him, all thoughts gone as he thrust harder and deeper inside you.
Mingyuâs eyes are locked on the way your tight pussy swallows his thick cock. The way your cream covers him completely make him more ravenous. Heâs hitting your spongy spot with mastered precision, and it only takes a few more thrusts for the coil in your stomach to snap.
Your moan is pornographic as your walls contract and your juices squirt out everywhere. Mingyuâs pace doesnât falter as you cover him with your orgasm. He groans loudly, loving how you can only seem to chant his name.
âGod, you look pretty when you come on my cock. So pretty. Every. Fucking. Time.â His words break off into a guttural groan that bounces off of the walls.
Hot streams of his seed flood your insides, stuffing you full until the white pours out from around the thickness of his cock. Mingyu slowly releases your legs and goes to give you a passionate kiss. His hips move slowly as he fucks his cum back into you. With one last peck he pulls away and slowly eases his cock out of your messy pussy.
You moan again when he suddenly starts to lap up the mess between your legs. Youâre too fucked out to stop him. That, and you did say he could eat his cum out of your pussy after you were done (plus it just feels so fucking good). He licks and sucks on your clit until thereâs nothing left to lap up.
When he crawls back up your body, your insides clench at the erotic sight of him licking his lips. âSo fucking sweet.â
You pull him down for another kiss. The taste of you two mixed together is so filthy yet so addicting that you have to lick every inch of his mouth. Mingyu pulls you flush against him as he continues to kiss you like he never wants to breath again.
Minutes later, you two are still in your bed, cuddling and unwilling to separate from each other.
âThis feels like a dream.â Mingyu sighs into your hair.
You hum, running your finger tips along his biceps. âItâs not a dream. I really do adore you, Kim Mingyu.â
He buries his face in your neck, mumbling into your heated skin that the adoration he has for you is endless.
taglist: @duolingofanaccount @felix-3002 @junhui-recs @asjkdk @dani41 @kageyama-i-want-tobiors
#mingyu smut#svt smut#svthub#svthub.collab#kim mingyu smut#seventeen smut#mingyu x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt x you#mingyu fic#svt fic#kim mingyu x reader#mingyu x you
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it took me by soap-rise
contents ๨ৠâ k. bakugo x fem reader. 4k words â fluff. cursing. slightly suggestive. â of course your public nuisance no. 1 has to hog your favorite shower stall the day you forget your body wash in it.
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Katsuki was honestly starting to suspect he wasnât your type.Â
Which one, was something heâd never even bother to consider. Heâs ripped up more confession letters than he can count after three years. Graduation was just around the corner and he still hates social media, but even he knows how popular he is on it because of his classmates whining about it all the damn time. He knows heâs well-liked, and itâs not just his ego talking.
Genuinely it's a thought that would never occur to him, if only Eyebags wasnât lounging around you all the time, casting annoyingly cocky glances at him as he taps your shoulder and leans in to whisper whatever the fuck it is in your ear whenever he passes by the two of you.
Not that he cared.Â
Two, when Dunce Face dared you to say who you thought was the most attractive guy during a game of truth or dare in the common room last year, while he pretended to be disinterested when he very much in fact was not, you had offhandedly answered with that half-nâ-half bastardâs name, who could not be more polar opposite to him.
Again, he really couldnât give less of a fuck.Â
Not like heâs been thinking about it since then. Totally. Not.
Katsuki also hasnât been thinking about how it should be him whispering in your ear instead of that purple haired extra, the endless list of things he could say to make you squirm and blush in your seat.Â
Of course, that doesnât happen because youâre too busy arguing with him, like usual, about the new group project Aizawa just assigned. Something about reconnecting with their roots before graduating. With you two as partners, much to the amusement of your classmates.
âWe should work on the script first!â You insist while he leans back in his chair, observing you get more and more worked up.
It should be irritating as hell, your hand gestures, your matter of fact tone, but whatâs really bothering him is that itâs not. Heâs not sure when that started happening.
âItâs better to prepare the interview questions weâre going to ask our parents when we visit each other's homes.â
He snorts. âWhat are we, some ditzy news report crew? Weâre not gonna waste time doing that, we should just visit your place first, then mine and get it over with.â
You spin away from him before he can open his mouth again, and raise your hand.Â
Aizawa slowly turns to you with a sigh, already knowing what youâre about to ask.
âNo.â
âBut Mr. Aizawa!âÂ
Eyebags casts an amused glance in both of your directions, and Katsuki scoffs.Â
No way in hell was he letting you switch and downgrade to an extra like him.Â
âWhat, youâre chickening out?â
You ignore him. âCan I please switch partners?â
âNo,â Aizawa deadpans.
âButââ
âNo. One more word from either of you and youâre getting zeroes.â
The both of your mouths snap shut, and you glare at each other.
âWhen youâre a pro, you donât always get to choose who you team up with.âÂ
Aizawa rubs his temples.Â
âAnd youâre supposed to be my top ranking students. Youâre not first years anymore, so act like it.â
You hang your head. Like a scolded puppy, Katsuki notes.Â
âYes Mr. Aizawa.â
From the corner of his eye, you flip him off under your desk and his lips canât help but twitch. Does he really still piss you off that much after all this time?Â
Without hesitation, Katsuki flips you off back.
âFucking teacherâs pet.â He mouths with a smirk.
âAsshole.â You mouth back.
Aizawa sighs again, throwing a pointed look at Sero and Denki who are struggling, and failing, to hold back their giggles behind you.Â
This was going to be a long week.
Itâs the day after the group project was assigned, and youâre still reeling from the fact that out of everybody you had to get paired up with, of course it had to be your crush.Â
Hey Siri, does it make you a masochist if for the past three years you've been in love with a guy thatâs laser-focused on his personal development and has zero interest in dating anyone other than his career, ever?Â
Are you a masochist if you kind of find that kind of hot?
Just when you were starting to make a pros and cons list with Mina the night before to try and ick yourself out, too. But even that was getting increasingly hard to do.
His growth was undeniable, and you curse at him for being almost as mature as he was attractive now. Â
Well, towards everybody except you.Â
Three steps away from the door to your room, you freeze in place as your brain stops your usual ramblings of the blond boy to register two alarming facts.
One, the bottle of body wash you usually use was not in your hand like you thought it was.
Two, it was in fact, still in the shower stall you left it in.
Pink house slippers slap against the floorâs carpeting as you race back to the showers with a death-like grip on your towel.
Youâre slightly out of breath as you clutch the doorway of the showers, and just as quickly as you enter you find yourself exiting lightning fast at double the speed, nearly launching yourself against the wall of the hall outside.Â
With your heart racing uncontrollably, tips of too familiar blond hair disappear into the stall you were in moments ago.
Too familiar, for your liking.Â
But that strong jawline you caught a glimpse of was unmistakable.
Your irritating classmate slash crush you were trying to get rid of was taking up your shower stall.
Okay technically it wasnât yours but it was the one you used everyday, each morning and night. Youâd claimed it when you first stepped foot in it at the beginning of your first year.Â
So basically, it was yours.Â
And you definitely donât remember that bastard ever using it until today.
A screech jolts you from your thoughts. He must have turned the water on, which you can hear, but strangely there was no steam wafting out at all.Â
The realization creeps up on you like the sound of running water that trickles down and echoes throughout the room.
Hold on.
What was this idiot doing taking a cold shower at four in the morning?
The all too familiar soothing scent of cherry blossom fills the chilly air, and your eyebrows furrow even more in confusion.Â
And was that your fucking body wash heâs using?
You take a deep breath. Okay, calm down. Heâs bigger than you, probably stronger too, that stupid gym freak, not to mention taller than you.Â
But your fingers were still itching to whip out your quirk and shoot a moonbeam at his crotch.
Because why the fuck was he using your LâOccitane Cherry Blossom Bath and Shower Gel?
Trying to sneak a glance to confirm your suspicions, the obvious shadow of Bakugo is visible through the glass, and you duck back into the hallway.Â
Oh my god, it is him.Â
Taking a cold shower in the morning like a crazy person. Although you hate to admit it, that would explain his perfect skin. Everyday you wake up and see his flawless face, you go to bed praying that he gets a blemish.
The shower turns off, and you let out the breath you were holding. Confrontation wasnât your strong suit, but when it came to your possessions, you werenât about to be a doormat.Â
You cross your fingers and pray that heâs wearing clothes.
âBakugo! Come out here, we need to talk.â
He snorts, already recognizing the chiding voice about to round the corner, and turns. âPicking a fight with me outside of class? Thought you had more self-respect than thaââ
Bakugo is then sharply cut off.
By you hurling into his very naked, very bare chest.
He forces his eyes to not linger on the dip of your collarbone, and as he looks down on you he sees you struggling to do the same in his direction.
You accidentally make contact with his eyes.
The rare, amused look on his face sends something strange and hot down your spine, and you force yourself to turn away so sharply you think you dislocated your neck.
Bakugo smirks. âWasnât nearly this focused when we were working on our project.âÂ
An embarrassing noise escapes from your mouth, and his lips curve ever so slightly on his handsome face at the sound.Â
Heâs never seen you this flustered before.
Itâs kind of cute, he admits this time.
Despite your clearly humiliated state, you point an impressively steady finger at the object in his hands.Â
âThatâs um, thatâs mine.â You awkwardly clutch your towel tighter, suddenly feeling very naked in his presence. Seriously, why didnât you put a shirt on before coming back?
His eyebrow raises and he lifts the bottle slightly. âThis?â
âYeah?â
âUh-huh,â he says disbelievingly. âDonât see your name on it.â
You sigh in exasperation, did he always have to be so uncooperative with you? âItâs mine, okay? Just give it back.â
Bakugo's eyes narrow as he studies you. Like youâre a puzzle piece heâs trying to make sense of.
And as much as you hate to admit it, the focused look on his face was annoyingly attractive.Â
âThatâs funny.âÂ
You open your mouth, your patience is on the last straw and youâre about to yell back âwhat is?â and snatch the bottle out of his hands when he smirks, holding it high out of your reach above his head with his bicep, still gleaming with water from his shower.Â
âBecause this is mine.â
You blink at the water falls from his raised arm onto your nose, not registering what youâre hearing. Looking away from the pink translucent bottle above your head, your eyes meet his again.
âWhat?â
âYou heard me the first time.â
You canât help but stare at him incredulously.
âI donât think I did.â Confusion could not be clearer than glass in your voice.Â
âYouâYou use LâOccitane?â
He averts his eyes from the droplet that falls from your still wet hair and rolls down what skin you have exposed, disappearing into your thankfully tightly wrapped towel.
âDude. You are so not cherry blossom bath and shower gel material.â
He snorts. âFuck is that supposed to mean.â
âI donât know! I thought youâd use like, Dove MenCare or five in one.â
âFive in one? Are you stupid?â
âApparently! ButâOh my god can you stop flexing your biceps for one fucking second.â You groan. âIâm trying to have a serious conversation with you.â
âWhy were you looking?âÂ
âI canât help it! Theyâre distracting me andââ You clap your hands over your mouth, glancing at his slightly amused expression with horrified eyes.
âDistracting you?â His voice is low, and you curse at the way your stomach flip-flops.Â
âUm.â Fuck. Where did that even come from? âI meant, uh.â
âTrying to take it back now?â He smirks. âCoward.â
âI am not a coward!â You glare at him. âAnd Iâm not feeding into your ego.â
âYou just admitted you were staring at my biceps and thinking about what body wash I would use.â
Okay, so youâre just digging yourself a deeper grave. Your cheeks are warmer than the shower you took earlier, and you canât even deny it.
âCreep.â
You huff. âOkay fine, Iâm a creep. Just give me my body wash back.â
âTold you,â he starts walking away, towel still wrapped around his waist. You pointedly look away towards the wall. âItâs mine, dipshit.â
âWhaââ You whip your head around just as he disappears behind the corner, too tired and irritated to even chase after him, and with a sigh you walk into the shower room, heading for the stall you used earlier.Â
Your eyes widen as you stare at it in embarrassment.Â
There your bottle of cherry blossom body wash sits, untouched in the shower caddy.Â
As you head back to your dorm room, the body wash safely clutched in your hand, you wonder.
Was it too late to call in sick for today?
Aizawa did not in fact let you call in sick, and you're painfully reminded of everything that happened in the morning as you complain to Hitoshi about it. Your best friend snickers as students file into the cafeteria behind his seat. Â
âYouâre so stupid.â
You take the opportunity to shove a sweet roll into his open mouth. âShut up! Iâm going to pretend like it never happened.â
Hitoshi snorts, taking the bread out of his mouth. âGood luck with that. But hey,â He leans in with a mischievous grin, and you glare daggers at him. âIsnât this the most progress youâve made since you started liking him since, what, first year entrance exams?â
Your jaw drops. âExcuse me?â
He takes his sweet time eating the roll in his hand instead of elaborating, like the petty asshole he's always been. Your fingers tap impatiently on the table of the cafeteria as you wait while he chews.
After what seems like an eternity, Hitoshi finally swallows.Â
âI mean, youâve never really made a move on him this whole time. Kind of just been a spectator, like a creep.â
Warmth rushes up your neck as youâre reminded of what Bakugo called you yesterday. Creep.
âI canât help it! The only time we ever speak is during class projects, and even then weâre always arguing. I just donât know what to say to him.â
âI know.â Hitoshi raises an eyebrow. âWoop woop. 3Aâs own live little romcom.â
âIâm gonna kill you.â
âOkay, but after I finish this soup.â He blows on his steaming spoon, and pauses as a thought occurs to him.Â
âIf he didnât like it though, he wouldâve told you by now.âÂ
You canât help but perk up at that. âYou really think so?â
âYeah.â He spoons the soup into his mouth. âOh. This is good, why didnât you get any when we were in line?â
â...The red color reminded me of his eyes too much.â
Hitoshi sighs.Â
âFor your birthday, Iâm going to admit you to a mental hospital.â
âItâs not that bad!â You insist and he snorts derisively.Â
The both of you know youâre lying.
The ride to Katsukiâs house after class is awkwardly silent.
Your folks conveniently went out of town to visit some relatives youâve never even heard of yesterday, so the both of you were left with no choice but to interview his parents only.
The train is almost full, and every seat in the car is taken except one.
âIâm standing.âÂ
Katsuki grabs onto the handle above his head, a silent signal for you to take the only seat left and watches with barely concealed amusement in his eyes as you hurry to sit in front of him without a word other than a small âthanks.â So skittish today.
Heâs not sure if he likes it though. You being quiet around him.Â
Youâve said less than two sentences to him since this morning, and he almost misses your snappy quips.
Almost.
He hides a sly grin. Itâs all his fault youâre acting like this, and he's going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Youâre putting your earbuds on, and just before you put the left one in, he snatches it out of your hands and puts it in his ear.
Your eyes widen cutely, too stunned to speak.
"Just don't play anything shitty." He turns his attention back to his phone, ignoring all the smoochy faces the group chat's sent him about you as he sends his mom a quick text to tell her you two are on the way.
With a shy nod, which he can't help but note is so unlike you, you scroll down on your own phone and click on a playlist.
Katsuki's eyes widen in surprise not even five seconds in.
The instrumentals, those vocals. He knows this song.
He loves this song.
"You listen to Pierce the Veil?"
You blink up at him. "Yeah. I do."
He can't help it. The edge of his lips twitch as he recalls what you said to him yesterday, and he mimics your exact tone.
"Dude. You are so not post-hardcore alt rock material."
The expression on your face is priceless.
Katsuki never uses his damn phone camera but he almost wants to snap a picture right there and then.
Except of course, you do the unexpected.
You giggle at him.
He can't help but feel a little proud. Take that, stupid fucking Eyebags.
"I guess you're right," you laugh behind your hand. "Jirou recommended me some songs last year and I've been a fan ever since."
"Then what's your favorite lyric by them?"
"Oh my god." The grin on your lips spreads a warm, sweet feeling across his chest, like strawberry jam on hot toast. "You're one of those people that see someone wearing a band shirt and go 'Oh you like them? Name five of their songs.'"
He scoffs. "I do not."
"You totally do."
Katsuki rolls his eyes. "You trying to distract me from the fact you're a fake fan?"
You fake a little gasp. "Me? Never." There's a thoughtful hum that comes from your lips, and he observes you as you take a moment to think.
"My favorite lyric has to be 'been counting the stars and scars, how Iâm becoming a work of art.'"
The Divine Zero. Fuck, he loved that song too.
"Huh. Guess you know your shit."
You huff proudly, so similar to a dog happily wagging its tail that he resists the urge to pat your head. "Of course! What's your favorite lyric?"
He smirks, staring directly into your eyes.
"Iâm gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin till your bones feel embarrassed by all the attention."
Your lips fall into a flustered 'o' shape and you turn away when he finishes, nodding. "That's, uh, that's a good one too."
He bites back a laugh as you hurriedly switch playlists, and a familiar R&B tune starts singing in his ear instead.
Mitsukiâs face greets the two of you as she opens the door.
âKatsuki! You're here earlyâoh!"
She spots you.Â
âYouâre one of those cute maid girls from last yearâs cultural festival!"Â
Your cheeks flush as you remember. That stupid day when Denkiâs suggestion finally won the class vote. She was visiting for Bakugoâs role as an oni in the haunted house, and happened to stop by the maid cafe in the class where you and the rest of the girls were working. âYes maâam.â
âI didnât know you were Katsukiâs girlfriend.â
âWhat?â Your mouth drops. âOh, Iâm notââ
âYou brat! You never told me you were going out with a sweet, pretty girl like this.â Mitsuki scolds in her sonâs direction. Your cheeks grow warm as your curious eyes canât resist trailing over to see his reaction.
"She's not my girlfriend, Ma."
Oh my god, was he blushing?
Mitsuki sighs in disappointment. His crimson eyes meet your widened ones for a split second, then he's brushing past the both of you and heading inside the house.
His mother smiles at you apologetically. "Sorry about him, his puberty came late."
You can't help but snort. "It's okay Mrs. Bakugo, I'm used to it."
"I heard that!" A yell comes from down the stairs.
Mitsuki and you share a mischievous glance, and she ushers you inside. You take off your shoes and look around.
So this is where Bakugo grew up.
There's the smell of green tea in the air, and was that a vanilla candle burning somewhere? Framed photos of Bakugo with his parents are on the wall as you walk into the living room, and you can't help but coo at the one where his chubby baby cheeks are smeared in frosting while he blows out a candle shaped like the number three.
The interview flies by in a breeze. You do most of the asking.
Okay, youâre the one asking all of the interview questions. A warm mug of steaming green tea is placed next to you on the coffee table from your cross-legged position on a cushion.
Bakugo sits next to you, unnervingly silent ever since his mom's outburst from before, as he types up his motherâs and occasionally his fatherâs responses on his laptop.
Itâs funny, the way you think he doesnât notice your shivers.
"Ma." He glances up from the keyboard. "Do you need to turn the AC up so damn high all the time?"
Mitsuki rolls her eyes, taking a sip of her tea. "It's warm in here!"
He sighs, eyes flicking over to you, and starts getting up from his spot on the floor.
You stare at the hand he holds out to you. And with great interest, so do Masaru and Mitsuki, who mutters something to him that you better be her daughter-in-law within the next three years.
"Come on," Bakugo says gruffly, tugging you to stand.
You stumble a bit as you walk through the hallway with him and up the first few stairs. "Where are we going...?"
"My room. To get you a fucking jacket."
âNo, I donât need itâ!â You're cut off with a sneeze.
He groans, and shrugs off the black fleece-lined one he's wearing and bringing you into him by tightly wrapping it around your shoulders.
âWhy donât you ever listen to me?â He grumbles. He's so close you can see how unfairly long his lashes are, and you're not sure if it's the sheer nervous adrenaline from him being so near or the scowl in his voice but you giggle, feeling bold.
âItâs sexy to see you prove me wrong.â
His eyes widen, and he quickly recovers.
âYouâre so fucking weird.â Thereâs an unmistakable fondness you catch in his voice as he says that, and you shiver this time for a different reason.Â
"Your jacket's too big on me." You flop your newly acquired sweater paws in his face.
âShut up.â Bakugo snorts as he zips it up for you in one smooth motion. âFucking baby.âÂ
âYou're the baby!" You retort. "I saw your pictures on the wall."
There's a groan from him. "No you didnât.â
"What, they're cute! I'm gonna send one to the class group chat."
Bakugo shoots a glare at you, and you teasingly wiggle your phone screen in his face. "Don't you dare."
"Hmm, okay I won't. Only if you do something for me first."
He smirks. "Fine, what do you want?" Bakugo leans closer to you, and your cheeks burn hot. "A kiss?"
You were not expecting that.
The way your eyes linger hopefully on his mouth looks like he's right. "Um."
"Um?" He huffs a laugh with his face hovering in front of yours. Bakugo's hot breath teases your lips, and you can't think.
Fuck it, you don't even care if he's just joking anymore. If this is your only chance, you're going to take it.
"Yes."
Bakugo cocks his head to the side, irritating to the very end even when you're on the brink of giving in. "Yes what?"
Your eyes squeeze shut as you blurt out, and you can almost hear Hitoshi cheering in the distance.
"YesIwantyoutokissme!"
"Fucking finally." Your eyes flutter open at his murmur, what did he mean by that? But you don't get to spend another second thinking about it because suddenly his soft lips are on yours and your heart skips a beat as you realize Bakugo is kissing you.
It's feels almost scarily natural to lean into his touch, like a gravitational pull getting stronger and stronger the longer you're near him, and you wonder why you didn't sooner. You numbly acknowledge the growing sweatiness of your palms as your nose bumps against his gently.
His comforting hands cup the back of your head, tangling his calloused fingers in your hair as he guides your mouth against his. A delicious little sound escapes from you the moment you break away from him and it only makes him want to close the gap between you again with more hunger, and he nips at your bottom lip like a starved man.
"Knew you always liked me, by the way." Bakugo gives you a wolfish grin, as the both of you pull back for air, leaving a trail of saliva still connected to your lips in your wake. He slyly glances at your dazed self sideways, flashing you a rare sight of his canines.
"Was just waiting for you to stop being such a damn pussy about it."
#it took me by surpriseee the hatred in his eyess#yâall fw lâoccitane cherry blossom bath and shower gel#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo x reader#mha x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugo oneshot#bnha x reader#mha oneshot#not this being the first mouth to mouth kiss iâve ever written here lmfaoooo#idk ig physical intimacy means sm more to me than just kissing#but it seems fitting here so#enjoy <3#it might be bc iâm asian and pda seems weird to me LMFAO
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⎠đŹđ˘đłđ đ¤đ˘đ§đ¤ + đđđĽđ!đđđđŚđđ§.
âââăâ
christian bale!bruce wayne (batman) x reader.
â
â TYPE | headcanons ; fluff ; smut ; sfw + nsfw sections â
â WORD COUNT | 1.1k â
â REQUESTED | @wandalfnation â
â WARNINGS | fem!reader ; reader is described as smaller in both height and stature ; dom!bruce ; size kink ; strength kink ; big cock!bruce ; possessiveness ; reader wears lingerie and heels
18+ ONLY MINORS DNI.
SFW ââ âš Ë . 𼝠BALE!BRUCE WAYNE . . .
⢠who buys you endless pairs of high heels because he thinks itâs cute how much shorter you are than him. heâll always tease you and then make it up to you with more platform shoes. of course youâll never be as tall as he is without having to stand on a chair beside him, but he'll make sure you have that little bit of extra height when you want it.
⢠who often waits until youâre home so he can do his workout in front of you. he can do pushups while youâre laying on his back, because he likes to show off how strong he is, and also to prove to you that those big muscles arenât just for scaring criminals.
⢠who loves to spoon with youâ of course heâs always the big spoon. he loves it because he can wrap himself around you as you tangle up together under the blankets, and you fit so nicely in his big arms.
⢠who holds your hand because he secretly loves how small your hand feels in his, giving you little squeezes wherever you go. heâs possessive and protective as a side effect of his night job, so itâs inevitable the fact that heâs always got a firm grip on your hand and keeping you close to his side. but he wonât deny, it makes his heart race when he feels your smaller hand squeezing back.
⢠who also loves it when you hold onto his arm. you always loop your arm through his at parties, and all he does is smirk because he knows the only reason youâre doing it is because you shamelessly love to feel his biceps. so of course heâll play into it for you, flex his muscles a little for you, give you something nice and firm to hold on to while he guides you around like a prize on his arm.
⢠who always has his hands on you at parties. everyone knows heâs the prince of the city, the cocky billionaire playboy who gets everything he wants, so of course he has to not-so-subtly let everyone know youâre his at all times. he keeps one large hand around your waist as he parades you through the mansion for everyone to see, occasionally squeezing your ass as he walks past a journalist. he has a reputation to uphold, after all.
NSFW ââ âš Ë . 𼝠BALE!BRUCE WAYNE . . .
⢠who canât help that he subconsciously compares your size to his, especially when youâre in bed. he canât help the fact that he towers over you, or the fact that his bicep is thicker than your head. heâs addicted to the sight of you beneath him as he pounds into you, and he knows you feel the same; his wide, chiseled torso is the only thing that fills your view as you hold onto him and moan out his name.
⢠who accidentally discovered that he loves when you wear the high heels he bought you in bed too, and he has a few favorite pairs he likes you to wear. having your legs tossed over his shoulders while youâre wearing stilettos makes him feel all the more powerful and tall, and plus he loves that they match perfectly with the lacy black lingerie sets he likes to spoil you with.
⢠who can easily overpower you in bed if he really wanted to, but although he doesnât always do it he never fails to remind you of the fact that he can. he can fit one of his hands around both your wrists, and heâll hold your hands together and pin your wrists against the sheets above your head while he kisses you.
⢠who loves it when youâre being a brat because it gives him reason to use his strength on you. he isnât always a hard dom, but when you start begging him to use you like that, all he wants to do is give you everything you want. heâll get rough because he knows you like it, making sure youâre aware of every inch of his muscular body
⢠who likes to wrap one hand around your neck temptingly. he never puts any real pressure, his grip always barely just light as a feather; a reminder that heâs there, that his massive hands fits so nicely around your throat, and nothing more. heâll give a gentle squeeze in warning when you start to act bratty, and it always sends your mind reeling.
⢠who lets you grind on his thighs to get off whenever you want. heâs a busy man; he has an entire city to look after, so he doesnât always have time to dedicate to making love or even just for a quickie. but you have needs and heâs well aware of that, so heâs more than happy to let you sit on his lap and make yourself cum. he gets to sit back, occasionally tensing his thigh and bouncing his leg a little, and heâs rewarded with the beautiful sounds you make as you desperately grind your sensitive clit against his muscle. he adores the broken whimpers that leave your lips when he stiffens his thigh unexpectedly to throw off your pace and keep you at the edge for just a few seconds longer.
⢠who loves the way you grip his broad shoulders when you ride him. his shoulders are one of your favorite parts of his body (besides, well, everything else). youâve had your ankles dangling over his shoulders more times than you can count, but conveniently they also make for the perfect place to hold onto while heâs got you bouncing on his lap, like built-in arm rests just for you.
⢠whose cock is definitely bigger than average but he knows how to use it. you both know itâs not going to fit, but vengeance is perseverant, and that never stops him from trying anyway. he wonât lie and say it doesnât massively inflate his ego when he sees you struggling to take him in all the way, but watching you moan and writhe in overwhelming pleasure because of his size is the best part of the whole experience.
Š moonwqves 2024. do not repost or translate. ââ âš Ë . 𼝠want to join my taglist? send an ask!
đđđđđđđ. â @sadattorney
if you enjoyed this, please reblog or let me know in a comment or an ask! feedback helps so much with motivation and gives me energy to continue writing :) thanks for reading!
#â { luna writes. } â#batman smut#bruce wayne smut#batman x reader#bruce wayne x reader#dc comics#batman#christian bale#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne imagine#bruce wayne fic#bruce wayne fanfiction#bruce wayne scenarios#batman x you#batman x y/n#batman imagine#batman fic#batman fanfiction#batman scenarios#dc fanfic#bruce wayne#bale!batman#bale!bruce wayne#bale!batman x reader
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LAMIA đ޸đ´đŞˇ
đź | Endless Count of Favorite Characters
#mygifs ;#mygifs ; pgr#pgr#punishing gray raven#gaming#lamia#lamia pgr#pgr lamia#lamia punishing gray raven#punishing gray raven lamia#endless count of favorites#this skin is so pretty#i know that lamia's design is a bit of a discourse#but i love all of them#i will decide when craddle parade arrives if her redesign makes sense for her character or not#lamia i love you in every form#the princess of all oceans#that said#the only thing i hate is how her boss battle line got changed likely in order to sell her better but still#her old line was so good#and i think that bc her boss and playable versions have it#it would have been a cool moment of character development#boss lamia who is desperate angry and insecure#playable lamia who is more confident and stronger#thoughts
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Quality Time...
⪠ft. argenti. aventurine. blade. boothill. caelus. dan heng & imbibitor lunae. dr ratio. gallagher. gepard. jing yuan. luka. luocha. sampo. sunday. welt.
Cleaning Argenti's ship with him, getting the dust out of the finer details alongside him. It would be a hassle usually, but it was much better when he was with you. You who were like an Emanator of Beauty to him, he could never get sick of you, or your presence.
Sitting beside Aventurine in the casino as he wins his 54th game of Blackjack that night. His arm wrapped around your waist, smiling and having fun together as you watch the endless riches flow into his bank account.
Going on a late night stroll with Blade. The city was busy and bustling, but that wasn't going to bother either of you. Just the two of you, no script to follow. No guards to seize him, he's in disguise anyways. No one will notice him through his... Sunglasses and mask. It'll work.. Neither are his companions or mara there to annoy him. Not now, as you enjoy each others' presence.
Running through the ships of the IPC with Boothill. The men shooting at the both of you. He has your back, so he won't let you get injured by some bullets. He even has time to taunt them with some famous dance moves as the two of you evade their attacks.
Digging through trash cans together with Caelus. He could care less about the crowds of people watching this. He was enjoying it, giving you little small trinkets he thinks you'd like. A toy that someone threw away, a bouquet from a rejected man.. A golden trash bag? Well, it's the thought that counts, right? It was cute just watching him dig through the bins to find something for you.
Staying up and updating the data bank with Dan Heng. The faint sound of machinery and typing the only sounds in the room. Other than the sound of pen on paper from when he writes something down. Alternatively, laying beside Imbibitor Lunae in his supposed bed. But it was so much comfier, especially when you were wrapped in the arms, and tail, of your boyfriend.
Reading a book with Dr. Ratio at the local library. A small treat for the both of you as he had just finished his lecture. Refreshing his own mind with both the intelligent writings, and your presence. At least he didn't have to deal with any idiots at the moment.
Learning to brew up some nice drinks with Gallagher. He shares his favorite brew with you, and you share your own concoction with him. Clinking your glasses together in a toast, drinking one anothers' mix of flavors.
Adopting some new plants with Gepard. Trying to get a nice flower to take care of together. Placing it in a nice flowerbed with some ferilizer, and watering them thoroughly. You'll have to teach him some tips and tricks to gardening. Or maybe you're learning alongside him too. Either way, it'll be fun taking care of a little plant baby together, don't you think?
Napping with General Jing Yuan at work. Sneakily giving him an excuse to slack off for a bit. They wouldn't dare disturb your slumber, would they? How cruel of them if they tried. Inhaling your scent as he buries his head into the crook of your neck. Drifting further into sleep in the comfort of your arms.
Watching Luka as he trains for his next match at the Fight Club. A moment just for the two of you to spend together. You motivating him to keep going and get stronger. To win even more battles. He couldn't do it without you.
Walking around the different stalls the Luofu offered with Luocha. Buying a few things from some merchants just for you. Away from any prying eyes, in a world made for just the two of you.
Carrying a few supplies for Natasha's clinic with Sampo. Being able to help the Underworld with him being an enjoyable task. Especially with him, who wouldn't be entertained by his presence? You knew you definitely were.
Having afternoon tea with Sunday. Away from the responsibilities of being the head of the Oak Family. Just a small quiet moment between the you and the halovian. Some sugar cookies going along with the drinks. He can't help but feel much better with you.
Sitting in the Astral Express carriage with Welt. Watching the stars fly by, the meteors go past the windows. Maybe looking up at the light shaped like a whale, reaching out for it while you lay your head on his lap. It was nice spending mundane moments with him, alongside the more fun and action-filed ones.
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⪠I think having some quality time with them is nice :)
Masterlist || Do not repost nor feed to AI. Reblogs & Comments are much appreciated.
#005. writings.#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#argenti x reader#argenti#aventurine x reader#aventurine#blade x reader#boothill x reader#caelus x reader#caelus#dan heng x reader#dan heng#dan heng imbibitor lunae#dr ratio#dr ratio x reader#gallagher x reader#gepard x reader#jing yuan x reader#luka x reader#luocha x reader#sampo x reader#sunday x reader#welt x reader#hsr sunday#hsr blade#hsr boothill
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F1 GRID | new years with your f1 boyfriend
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ŕ¨ŕ§ : featuring : max verstappen, lewis hamilton, george russell, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris, oscar piastri ŕ¨ŕ§ : synopsis : it's new years with your f1 boyfriend, what're your plans?
ŕ¨ŕ§ : genre : fluff ŕ¨ŕ§ : tws : kissing & skinship ŕ¨ŕ§ : word count : 3992
ਠmasterlist ŕ§
ᥣđŠ a/n : happy new years to everyone i hope you all love this !! đ
Ęăťmax verstappen
the crisp winter air kissed your cheeks as you and max walked hand in hand toward the crowded park. the distant crackle of fireworks already hinted at the dazzling display to come. you tightened your scarf around your neck, your gloved fingers clasping a steaming cup of hot chocolate. max carried his own, his free hand tucked snugly in the pocket of his coat.
âare you sure this is worth braving the cold for?â max asked, though the faint smile playing on his lips betrayed his teasing.
you nudged him gently with your shoulder. âoh, come on, max. fireworks, hot chocolate, and you? sounds like the perfect way to start a new year.â
his soft chuckle sent a flutter through your chest. he squeezed your hand as you reached the open field. people had already gathered, their breath visible in the frosty air as they chatted and waited for the midnight display.
you found a quiet spot away from the main crowd, settling on a blanket youâd brought. the city skyline sparkled in the background, the atmosphere humming with anticipation. you handed max a small tin box you'd been hiding in your bag.
âwhatâs this?â he asked, raising a curious brow as he turned it over in his hands.
âa time capsule,â you said, grinning at his surprised expression. âi thought we could write letters to our future selves, add a few photos and little memories from this year, and open it together next new yearâs eve.â
he gave you a look, a mix of incredulity and affection. âthatâs⌠very cheesy.â
âhey!â you protested, though his smirk softened your mock indignation.
âbut,â he continued, his blue eyes twinkling under the soft glow of streetlights, âi kind of love it.â
you beamed, pulling out pens and papers. the two of you sat close, jotting down thoughts and hopes for the coming year. you shared quiet laughter over your favorite moments from the past season, max even adding a bottle cap from a celebratory post-race drink to the capsule.
when the fireworks began, painting the night sky in vibrant bursts of color, max wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you against him.
âthis is nice,â he murmured, his voice almost lost in the distant pops and crackles.
you leaned your head on his shoulder, a contented sigh escaping your lips. âhappy new year, max.â
âhappy new year, love,â he replied, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.
as the final fireworks faded, leaving trails of smoke against the dark canvas of the sky, you sealed the time capsule, knowing that this moment, like everything else youâd placed inside, would be a memory to cherish.
and though he might not admit it outright, the soft smile lingering on maxâs face told you he wouldnât have wanted to celebrate the new year any other way.
Ęăťlewis hamilton
the energy in times square was electric, a swirling mix of excitement, cold winter air, and the endless buzz of millions of people. the iconic new york city lights shone even brighter than usual, reflecting off the surrounding buildings. it was your first time here, and you couldnât believe you were standing in the middle of it all, hand-in-hand with lewis hamilton.
âi still canât believe you flew me out here,â you said, your voice slightly muffled by the scarf wrapped around your neck.
lewis turned to you, his warm brown eyes crinkling with a smile. âyouâve been talking about wanting to see the ball drop for ages. how could i not?â
your cheeks warmedânot just from the cold, but from the way his gaze lingered on you, filled with a tenderness that made your heart race.
the crowd around you erupted in cheers as the countdown clock approached its final minutes. despite the chaos, lewis made sure to keep you close, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist. you leaned into him, his warmth seeping through his coat as the two of you watched the dazzling lights of times square.
âthis is unreal,â you whispered, gazing up at the massive ball perched atop the pole. âthank you, lewis.â
he turned you slightly, his face now inches from yours. âyou donât have to thank me, love. i just want to see you happy.â
your breath hitched, and before you could respond, the crowd roared louder. the final minute of the year had begun.
âsixty seconds,â lewis said with a grin, glancing at the clock and then back at you. âready to start the new year together?â
âalways,â you said softly, your voice almost lost in the deafening countdown.
the seconds seemed to both drag and race by as the crowd chanted in unison. âten⌠nine⌠eightâŚâ
lewis shifted, standing in front of you, his hands gently cupping your face. the world around you felt like it slowed down as his thumb brushed your cheek.
âthree⌠two⌠one⌠happy new year!â
as the ball dropped and confetti rained down in a dazzling cascade of colors, lewis leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that made everything else fade away. the cold disappeared, the noise blurred, and all you could feel was the warmth of his lips and the steady, grounding presence of his arms around you.
when you finally pulled back, the sparkle in his eyes rivaled the confetti falling around you. he rested his forehead against yours, his voice soft and full of emotion. âi wouldnât want to be here with anyone else. not tonight, not ever.â
your heart swelled, and you couldnât stop the smile that spread across your face. âi wouldnât want to be anywhere else, either.â
he laughed softly, brushing a stray piece of confetti from your hair. âhereâs to us, love. to the new year, and everything itâll bring.â
with the city celebrating around you, you held onto him tightly, knowing that as long as you had lewis by your side, this yearâand every year to comeâwould be unforgettable.
Ęăťgeorge russell
the soft glow of fairy lights illuminated the living room as you curled up on the couch, your legs draped over georgeâs lap. a bowl of popcorn sat precariously between you, and an old new yearâs eve movie played on the tv. outside, the winter wind howled faintly, but inside, it was warm and cozyâthe perfect way to ring in the new year.
george stretched his arm behind you, looking down at your mismatched fuzzy socks with a playful smirk. âiâve been meaning to askâdo you intentionally pick socks that clash, or is this some kind of fashion statement iâm not aware of?â
you threw a piece of popcorn at him, laughing as it bounced off his forehead. âtheyâre cozy! and besides, youâre one to talk. didnât i catch you wearing socks with holes in them last week?â
he gasped, feigning offense. âexcuse me, those were my lucky socks. thereâs a difference.â
âlucky how? do they help you win races or just charm your way out of arguments?â
george grinned, leaning closer with a twinkle in his eye. âa bit of both, actually.â
you rolled your eyes but couldnât help the smile tugging at your lips. as the minutes ticked closer to midnight, george shifted, pulling you closer until your head rested on his shoulder. his fingers absentmindedly traced patterns on your arm, the once-playful energy softening into something more intimate.
âalright,â he said suddenly, breaking the silence. âwhatâs your new yearâs resolution? and donât say something boring like âdrink more water.ââ
you tilted your head to look at him, a teasing smile on your face. âfine. my resolution is to make sure you wear socks without holes in public.â
he groaned, tossing his head back dramatically. âthatâs not a resolutionâthatâs bullying.â
âsomeoneâs got to keep you in check,â you quipped.
he chuckled, the deep sound vibrating through his chest. âalright, smartypants, my turn. my resolution isâŚâ he paused for effect, his eyes narrowing mischievously. âto beat you at mario kart at least once this year.â
you gasped, sitting up. âyouâll never win, and you know it. iâm untouchable on rainbow road.â
âdonât get cocky, love. iâve been practicing.â
the playful banter dissolved into laughter, and before you knew it, the countdown began on the tv. george grabbed the remote, turning the volume up slightly as the two of you leaned forward, watching the seconds tick away.
âten⌠nine⌠eightâŚâ
george turned to you, his expression softening as the excitement built.
âfive⌠fourâŚâ
his hand cupped your cheek, and you felt your heart flutter at the way his blue eyes sparkled under the warm light.
âthree⌠twoâŚâ
and just as the clock struck midnight, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss that was somehow both tender and exhilarating. his hand slid to the back of your neck, keeping you close as the faint sound of cheers and fireworks filled the room.
when you pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, a crooked smile on his lips. âhappy new year, love. hereâs to more mario kart losses and mismatched socks.â
you laughed, your arms wrapping around his neck. âand hereâs to you admitting defeat gracefullyâfor once.â
ânever,â he teased, pulling you in for another kiss, the warmth of the moment eclipsing everything else.
Ęăťcarlos sainz
the kitchen was alive with the warm, comforting smells of garlic, tomatoes, and freshly baked bread. you stood at the counter, carefully chopping vegetables while carlos manned the stove, his sleeves rolled up and his brow furrowed in concentration. the soft hum of music played in the background, occasionally drowned out by the laughter and chatter of his family from the living room.
âyouâre going to burn that if you keep stirring it like that,â you teased, glancing over at carlos, who was fiercely focused on the pot of sauce in front of him.
âÂĄpor favor! i know what iâm doing,â he retorted, though the way he immediately lowered the heat betrayed his confidence.
you couldnât help but laugh, wiping your hands on a towel before stepping over to him. âmove over, chef sainz. let me save your sauce before it turns into soup.â
carlos shot you a playful glare but stepped aside, crossing his arms as he watched you with a mock pout. âthis was supposed to be my moment of glory.â
âyou can have your moment when youâre not about to ruin dinner for your family,â you said, giving him a sly grin.
he leaned against the counter, his eyes following your every move. âyouâre lucky youâre cute when you boss me around.â
âand youâre lucky iâm here to stop you from poisoning your parents,â you quipped, shooting him a wink.
by the time dinner was ready, the two of you had settled into a seamless rhythm, laughing and bickering as you plated the food together. when you brought everything to the table, his family erupted into applause, making carlos puff out his chest dramatically.
âsee? they love it,â he said, nudging you with his elbow as you sat beside him.
âthey love us,â you corrected. âbig difference.â
carlosâs father raised his glass, giving you both an approving nod. âto carlos and y/nâthe dream team of the kitchen. ÂĄfeliz aĂąo nuevo!â
after the lively meal and several rounds of stories, games, and champagne toasts, the countdown to midnight began. everyone gathered in the living room, and carlos tugged you closer to his side, his arm draped comfortably around your waist.
as the clock ticked down, carlos leaned in close, his voice low in your ear. âyou know, i think we make a pretty good team.â
âonly when you let me take charge,â you teased, looking up at him with a playful smirk.
âor maybe itâs because i keep you on your toes,â he shot back, his grin widening.
âthree⌠twoâŚâ
the room exploded into cheers, hugs, and clinking glasses, but carlos only had eyes for you.
âhappy new year, cariĂąo,â he murmured, his voice soft but full of warmth as he leaned in to kiss you.
the world seemed to melt away as his lips met yours, the kiss tender yet filled with the kind of unspoken promise that made your heart race. when you pulled back, his hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin.
âthis year,â he said with a soft smile, âi just want more moments like thisâwith you.â
your cheeks warmed as you grinned back at him. âgood thing weâve got a whole year to make that happen.â
and with his family cheering and laughter ringing around you, you knew it was the perfect start to a year youâd always remember.
Ęăťcharles leclerc
the cool mediterranean breeze swept across the balcony, carrying the faint sounds of celebration from the harbor below. monaco was aliveâits lights sparkling like stars on earth, music drifting up from the yachts, and the occasional burst of fireworks lighting up the night sky.
you leaned against the railing, sipping champagne and admiring the view. âmonaco really knows how to do new yearâs, huh?â
charles stood beside you, swirling his glass of champagne with an effortless charm. âitâs all for you, of course,â he teased, the corners of his lips tugging into a playful smirk.
âoh, really?â you laughed, raising a brow. âthey planned all this just because iâm here?â
âabsolutely. i told them you were coming, and voilĂ .â he gestured dramatically toward the city below, then broke into a grin. âthey went all out this year.â
you rolled your eyes, nudging him lightly with your elbow. âsure they did, leclerc.â
the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes when youâre completely at ease with someone. charles set his glass down on the table behind him, turning to lean his hip against the railing. his gaze lingered on you, soft and unguarded.
âyou know,â he began, his voice quieter now, âthis feels⌠different.â
you glanced at him, tilting your head. âdifferent how?â
he shrugged, running a hand through his hair. âiâve spent so many new yearâs eves hereâon the yachts, at loud parties, with people everywhere. but none of them ever felt like this.â
you smirked, trying to lighten the mood. âis this the part where you tell me iâm better company than pierre?â
charles groaned, rolling his eyes. âplease donât make me compare. if he hears about this, iâll never live it down.â
âoh, come on,â you teased. âyou can admit itâiâm way more fun than pierre.â
charles tried to keep a straight face but eventually broke into a laugh. âalright, fine. youâre more fun. but donât tell him i said that. heâll sulk for weeks.â
you laughed, and he shook his head, muttering something in french under his breath about how dramatic pierre could be. but his smile quickly softened as he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. his hand lingered on your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin. âbut seriously⌠you are better company. thisââ he gestured between you two, ââthis makes it all feel special. because youâre here with me.â
your playful smile faltered, replaced by something warmer. âcharlesâŚâ
the countdown started below, a chorus of voices rising from the streets. âten⌠nineâŚâ
charlesâs other hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer. âi mean it,â he said, his eyes locked on yours. âyou make everything betterâexcept maybe your taste in music. thatâs still questionable.â
you gasped, swatting his arm. âexcuse me? my playlists are amazing!â
âsure they are,â he teased, his grin widening. âbut maybe leave the djing to me next time.â
âfive⌠fourâŚâ
âoh, youâre impossible,â you said, shaking your head, though you couldnât stop the laugh bubbling out of you.
âthree⌠twoâŚâ
âand yet, you love me,â he murmured, his voice soft and teasing all at once.
âunfortunately,â you quipped, but your heart betrayed you with the way it fluttered as he leaned in.
âhappy new year,â he whispered, right before his lips met yours.
the kiss was sweet and lingering, the distant fireworks and cheers fading into the background. when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his grin unmistakably smug.
âbonne annĂŠe, mon amour,â he said, his voice dripping with charm. âand donât worryâthereâs still hope for your playlists in the new year.â
you rolled your eyes, laughing as you swatted at him again. âkeep talking like that, and youâre not getting any more kisses.â
he gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. âcruel! and here i was planning to share my champagne with you.â
âyou already gave me my own glass,â you pointed out with a smirk.
âwell, fine then,â he said with a mock pout, pulling you close again. âbut iâm keeping all the kisses for myself this year.â
and as the next round of fireworks lit up the monaco sky, you couldnât help but laugh and pull him in for another kiss, knowing youâd never get tired of his humorâor his love.
Ęăťlando norris
the living room was a cozy messâpillows scattered on the couch, empty snack bowls on the coffee table, and a giant blanket fort youâd both built earlier in the evening. it had been the perfect new yearâs eve: takeout, laughter, and lounging. that is, until lando got distracted by the game.
âlando, itâs eleven fifty-eight,â you said, standing by the tv with your hands on your hips, trying to look stern but failing miserably.
âtwo more minutes!â he replied, his voice laced with concentration as his fingers flew over the controller. his headset was perched haphazardly around his neck, and his tongue stuck out slightly in that signature "lando is focused" way.
âtwo more minutes, and youâll miss the new year!â you shot back, narrowing your eyes at him.
he glanced at you, his lips curling into a mischievous grin. ârelax, love. iâve got time. this is the last round.â
you crossed your arms, raising a brow. âthatâs what you said the last three rounds.â
âyeah, but this time i mean it!â he insisted, dodging imaginary bullets with his whole body as he mashed the buttons.
the clock on your phone read 11:59, and you let out an exaggerated sigh. âyou are not starting the new year yelling at a bunch of strangers in a game lobby.â
âiâm not yelling!â lando protested, right as he shouted, âno! donât steal my loot, you donkey!â into the microphone.
grabbing a throw pillow, you lobbed it at him, hitting him square in the face. he yelped and dropped the controller.
âhey!â he exclaimed, laughing as he dramatically fell back onto the couch. âthat was an attack on a defenseless man!â
âyouâve got sixty seconds to get over here,â you warned, pointing to the spot next to you on the couch. âor iâm starting 2025 single.â
âsuch violent tendencies,â he teased, tossing the pillow back at you as he scrambled to his feet.
âthirty seconds, babe!â
with a dramatic sigh, lando yanked off his headset and dropped onto the couch beside you. âfine, fine. iâm here. happy?â
âecstatic,â you deadpanned, grabbing the remote and switching the tv back to the countdown.
âten⌠nineâŚâ
lando grinned, slipping his arm around your shoulders. âsee? plenty of time to spare. you stress too much, love.â
you gave him a look. âyouâre lucky youâre cute.â
âfour⌠threeâŚâ
he leaned closer, his nose brushing yours. âand youâre lucky iâm absolutely obsessed with you.â
the words caught you off guard, and your heart flipped as he closed the distance just as the countdown hit zero.
âhappy new year,â he murmured against your lips, his kiss soft but filled with that playful energy you loved so much about him.
when he pulled back, his grin was smug. âbet youâre glad i finished my game now, yeah?â
âdonât push your luck, norris,â you said, though you couldnât hide the smile tugging at your lips.
he laughed, pulling you closer into his side. âalright, alright. but admit itâitâs a pretty great start to the year, isnât it?â
you rested your head on his shoulder, your hand finding his. âyeah, it is. but next year? no gaming past eleven.â
âweâll see,â he teased, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. âbut if iâm gaming, i promise youâll still get your kissâpillow attacks or not.â
Ęăťoscar piastri
âso⌠how many times are you going to rewind that scene?â you asked, glancing up at oscar, who was focused on the screen.
he gave you an exaggerated pout. âitâs a crucial moment in the movie!â he said, pressing the rewind button again. âyou donât get it. this is the best part.â
you snorted, resting your head against his chest. âyouâve already watched it three times in the past ten minutes.â
oscar smiled sheepishly, letting out a small laugh. âwhat can i say? itâs a masterpiece.â
you rolled your eyes, though the grin tugging at your lips betrayed your amusement. âyouâre such a dork. and youâre going to miss midnight if you keep watching this masterpiece.â
oscar glanced at the clock on the wall and then back at the screen. âyou know what? youâre right.â he paused the movie, throwing the remote on the couch before adjusting the blanket around you both. âwe should probably focus on the important stuff.â
âlike⌠me?â you teased, nudging him with your elbow.
he shot you a grin. âobviously.â
you snorted, then turned your attention to the window. outside, the city lights twinkled, and you could hear the distant sound of fireworks and people celebrating. the air felt warm despite the cool night, the kind of warmth that wrapped around you like a hug.
âthree minutes,â you said, glancing at your phone. âif youâre gonna kiss me at midnight, you better start thinking of something romantic, piastri.â
oscar raised an eyebrow at you. âoh, donât worry, iâve got it all planned out. itâll be so romantic, youâll be swooning.â
âuh-huh. sure. iâm waiting.â
he grinned, leaning back into the couch and pulling you closer into his side. âhonestly, though, iâm just happy to be here. no fireworks, no fancy parties. just you, me, and⌠this movie that iâll probably rewatch a hundred more times.â
you chuckled, resting your head against his shoulder. âyou really are the definition of a homebody.â
âiâm not complaining,â he said, squeezing you gently. âthis is the best way to spend new yearâs. plus, youâre here with me. thatâs the important part.â
âflatterer,â you said, but your heart was melting just a little.
the countdown to midnight started in the backgroundâsomeoneâs phone ringing out in the distance, fireworks popping in the air. the quiet excitement was a nice contrast to the usual loud, chaotic celebrations, and you couldnât help but feel content.
âten⌠nineâŚâ
oscar looked down at you, his expression soft. âyou know, iâm really glad weâre doing this,â he said, his voice low and sincere. âlike, this is honestly the best way to start the year.â
you grinned up at him. âwell, iâm glad youâre here with me. this is way better than any party.â
âtwo⌠oneâŚâ
oscar leaned in closer, his lips brushing your forehead as the seconds ticked down. âhappy new year, love,â he murmured, just before the fireworks went off outside, signaling the start of another year.
you turned your face up to meet his, and before you knew it, his lips were on yoursâsoft and sweet, with the warmth of his kiss making everything feel just right. you kissed him back, smiling into the moment, not caring about anything else in the world.
when you pulled away, you rested your forehead against his, grinning like youâd just won a prize. âokay, that was a solid kiss. iâm impressed.â
oscar laughed, his thumb gently tracing your hand. âtold you i could be romantic when i try.â
and as the night drifted on, the two of you stayed in that cozy little world of yoursâno big parties, no grand fireworksâjust the comfort of each otherâs presence, the perfect way to welcome in the new year.
Š 2024 jungwnies | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1#f1 instagram au#fanfiction#carlos sainz x reader#f1 fic#max verstappen x reader#lando norris x reader#formula one#f1 smau#carlos sainz fluff#f1#max verstappen#lewis hamilton#carlos sainz#charles leclerc#lando norris#oscar piastri#george russell#charles leclerc x reader#oscar piastri x reader#max verstappen fluff#smau#đŞâĄď¸âË â jungwnies
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do you picture me?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/17a716ddc4ae66904b67779a7ba32f6b/1be7b590f18b8afd-f5/s540x810/a0821da807e5c6b8611f638542bd55a420607ac0.jpg)
joe burrow x fem!reader
summary: after dealing with the aftermath of a bad day at work, lingering frustrations from a fight with joe and him being gone due to an away game⌠you find yourself pent up and needing relief. little do you know, joeâs feeling the exact same way.
warnings: explicit sexual content, 18+ only. mdni. (masturbation (m&f), lewd images⌠etc.)
word count: 3.2k.
note: i had this idea while listening to picture you by chappell roan!! :) ily ily as always commentary, asks & feedback welcome!!
you hated being so pent up, feeling so close to the edge like this.
nothing had gone your way for nearly a week and it was all becoming too much, you were ready to break-through this horrible funk youâd sunk into and get back to feeling normal. you wanted to leave work, go home, get comfortable, and talk to joe.
unfortunately, your boyfriend was away from home for a game, and the two of you hadnât been on the best terms when he left.
the fight you had was the catalyst for your bad week, and although it was over something pointless that you could barely remember now, you and joe were both too stubborn to apologize to one another. he ended up leaving for the game without so much as a goodbye, and heâd only pinged you with his location when the team made their arrival to pittsburgh, home of one of their divisional rivals.
you sent back a petty thumbs up even though you were dying to talk to him, and somewhere over on the east coast joeâs fingers were flexing by his phone⌠he was seconds away from breaking too.
the next day you were swamped with work, endless reports to file and countless calls to take and it sucked every ounce of energy from your body. you left work feeling exhausted, your lids heavy as you slid into the driverâs seat of your car and started it before heading home.
youâd made it home safely and you knew you needed to cook dinner, but you were parched. you pulled a gallon of milk from the fridge and untwisted the cap, ignoring the bit of crust that fell off when you pulled it away. you brought the jug to your lips and took a hefty swig - something you wouldnât normally do - and you immediately wretched. it was sour.
you slammed the jug down on the counter and ran to the bathroom, practically throwing yourself over the toilet as you started to gag from the congealed dairy you almost swallowed. needless to say, that did you in for the night.
you woke the next morning still feeling nauseous, and tacking on the sadness of an empty bed next to you and a dry phone on your bedside table was the icing on the proverbial cake. you slowly rolled out of bed and made your way to the kitchen to at least make coffee, forgetting youâd left the already sour milk out on the counter overnight.
you quickly disposed of it before trudging back to your room to get dressed to go out and grab a coffee, because you couldnât make it at home without milk.
heading over to your favorite local coffee shop gave you a much needed serotonin boost, and your drink was delicious, but your spirit was torn right back down when your favorite barista handed you two chocolate chip cookies - the thing you and joe always came here for.
it stung immediately, knowing you hadnât talked in a few days. you were so close to caving and you missed him horribly, but you also hated admitting you were wrong, so it was a sticky situation all around. you thanked her and headed out to your car, eager to get back home and tidy up the house before resuming your much needed bed-rotting session.
â
once you arrived back home you began cleaning immediately, knocking out the pesky dishes first and then focusing on your other tasks like folding laundry, sweeping, and dusting.
your cleaning playlist was set to shuffle, and the loud music flowing through the areas of the house you had your attention on helped your mood improve. you danced and sang along, swaying your body to the rhythm as you worked to tidy everything up, which took way less time than you expected.
you had long since finished your coffee, and when you looked at the clock on the stove you realized only a few hours had passed, giving you more free time in your evening than you knew what to do with.
you decided on taking an everything shower, hoping the hot stream would help you release some of that tension youâd been holding so tightly in your back and shoulders. you quickly rushed to the bathroom and took off your clothes, placing them neatly in the basket next to the shower door before turning the water on. you opened a drawer next to the sink and grabbed out a eucalyptus scented shower steamer and tossed the tiny puck inside before stepping in yourself.
the comforting scent of eucalyptus enveloped you immediately. you stepped under the shower head and let the hot water run down your body, soothing over the tensed muscles of your back and neck. first, you made sure your hair was well saturated before squeezing some of your favorite shampoo into your hands and lathering it in, scratching your nails over your scalp in a relaxing manner. once you were satisfied with that you rinsed it before raking conditioner through your ends and slowly rinsing it out moments later.
as you squirted some of your coconut scented body wash onto your loofah, you let your mind slip to joe⌠and what heâd done to you in this shower just before your fight, just before he left for pennsylvania. you tried to push the thoughts from your mind as you washed your body off, but it was hard once your movements traced over places where his hands had been.
it was almost like you could still feel the phantom of his lips against the shell of your ear, whispering dirty things to you.
âyouâre so beautiful like this, all for me.â
âthatâs it baby, just like that. look how well youâre taking me.â
standing under a burning hot stream was how you found yourself now, yet still, you shivered. you quickly finished scrubbing your skin and rinsed yourself off, using every bit of willpower you had to push joe from your mind⌠but your resolve was slipping.
he was overtaking you.
you decided to cut the shower short, you didnât really need a shave anyway. what you needed was to do your skincare, dry your hair, make dinner and maybe even read some. those things always helped you relax, and you needed a distraction to push him from your mind.
you turned the water off and stepped out of the shower and quickly grabbed your towel, wrapping it around your dripping body as you shivered slightly. you stepped closer to the mirror and looked down at all your skincare products laid out before you in the basket you always kept by the sink, but you couldnât bring yourself to start your normal routine. your mind still lingered on joe. you wanted to push it away⌠but you couldnât. you were still thinking of the way his hands felt against your skin that morning when heâd pushed you against the wall under the water, the way heâd kissed and nipped at your neck as he lifted you up and filled you as he helped you wrap your legs around his waist.
the calloused pads of his fingers had traced every inch of your body, running along your curves as he took you apart, his strong tight grip held you into place as he unraveled you against the tile wall. you felt every single inch of him with every thrust and⌠oh. youâre starting to feel hot.
you could feel the heat pooling between your legs as you stood in front of the mirror completely zoned out, staring off into space as you thought about joe more and more. fuck skincare too.
you quickly exited the bathroom and made sure the blinds were drawn as you stepped back into your room, holding the towel tightly against your naked frame. once you were satisfied with the darkness in the room - not too dark but with no lights on, and faint shadows along the walls from your dark curtains - you dried your skin as fast as you could, your body now covered in gooseflesh.
you wrapped your hair up in a different towel and walked to the closet, searching for a box you kept on one of the shelves by your shoes. a giddy feeling bubbled up in your stomach and spread over your body as you searched for it, you hadnât done this in ages⌠but based on the way you were feeling and the thoughts you were having about joe⌠you needed it.
you located the box and stretched up to grab it, eagerly pulling it down from the shelf and carrying it back into the room before placing it on the bedside table where youâd also left your phone.
inside the box were several long unscented candles encased in glass, you only used them for rare occasions like this when you needed to set the mood. you pulled them out gingerly along with the lighter you kept in the box, and you placed the candles on top of the nightstands next to both sides of the bed before lighting them.
you shivered with excitement before moving the box to the floor and dropping your towel, then hopping up onto the bed.Â
in the drawers of the table next to you there were many toys from an experiment you and joe tried once, and though nothing was as good as the real thing, you thought about using one of them for your escapade⌠you grabbed out a small blue bullet vibrator and placed it on the nightstand next to your phone just in case you needed some extra help.Â
you shimmied up the bed until your back was pressed against the headboard, and then you took a deep breath. you let your eyes flutter shut as you began to trace your hands along your skin, goosebumps still covering your body. you imagined they were joeâs hands skimming the expanse of your body, that joeâs thumb and forefinger were tweaking your nipple, not your own.
in your mindâs eye you could see him clear as day, hovering above you with that sultry look in his bright blue eyes, smirk plastered across his perfectly pink lips. you pictured him running his hands along your thighs, fingers tracing and squeezing the meaty flesh, just as you were now.Â
you began to visualize the things heâd done to you in the shower again but⌠that wouldnât be enough. you needed to think of something else. your mind drifted off to all kinds of places, all sorts of predicaments youâd been in with joe where you had to be quiet, how heâd once held a hand over your mouth at the bengals facility while he stuffed you full by the showers. you were so afraid of getting caught yet so thrilled at the same time.Â
you slid your right hand down your body slowly and the left continued to play with your breast, groping and squeezing and pinching just as joe would if he was here. you were shivering with excitement as your fingers reached your entrance, and you scooped up some of your arousal with your fingertips before slowly dragging them back up to circle your clit.Â
the next thing that came to mind was the first time youâd brought joe back to your hometown to meet your parents, after dinner heâd whisked you away to your room, eager to have his hands all over you. his lips were instantly pressed to your neck as soon as youâd crossed the threshold of your old bedroom.Â
heâd pulled you into him immediately, his plump lips quickly finding the sweet spot just below your ear as he worked to draw a wanton moan from your lips, one that had your eyes widening as soon as it fell from your gaping maw. you struggled to close the door behind you, but you couldnât let your parents see or hear this. joe laughed at you then, he always thought you looked cute when you were flustered, especially in a sexual sense. he pulled you over to the bed once the door was securely closed, and heâd made you promise to be quiet for him. youâd have no trouble with that, you reminded him. you were just worried he would be too loud. he only smirked at you before kneeling near the foot of your small twin sized mattress, his fingers looping into the waistband of your pants as he pulled them down quickly along with your panties.Â
he eyed you hungrily as he looked you over, his eyes almost laser focused on your already dripping wet core. you had wondered what he was waiting for, he was eyeing you so hungrily and you were ready for him to bury his face between your legs, to devour you.Â
his gaze moved past you, he was now staring at something beside you. you turned your head confused, but your eyes met the stuffed bear youâd had almost your entire childhood. joe stood for a second and grabbed the bear, turning him so his back was facing you. âmr. wiggles doesnât need to see this,â he laughed, getting back into his spot at the foot of your bed. his arms hooked around your legs as he pulled you down the bed, and he wasted no time burying his face in you, slurping and sucking at your clit as your hands moved to cover your mouth, loud moans threatening to pour from your lips.Â
you snapped back to the present moment as your fingers continued to circle your clit quickly, your body shivering from the sheer pleasure you were experiencing. it never felt as good as it did with joe, but pleasure was surely radiating over your body now.Â
you reached down with your other hand, looping your arm underneath your thigh, and pressed two fingers slowly into yourself. you gasped at the pleasure, your left leg was pressed up to your chest so you could fuck your fingers in and out of yourself as your right hand continued to tease your sensitive nub.Â
if joe was here heâd be praising you, heâd be worshiping your body.Â
âlook how good youâre doing, baby. youâre taking it so well.âÂ
âmy pretty girl, always do such a good job for me. you were made to take me like this, huh?âÂ
his lips would be pressed to your ear, his words a mixture of sweet nothings and simultaneously the dirtiest things youâd ever heard. you imagined his fingers working you to the edge instead of your own, slamming into you and bringing you to the brink.Â
you thought about all the things heâd do if he found you in the predicament, your body slightly sweaty, wet hair wrapped in a towel as you pressed yourself farther into the headboard while your hands worked you closer and closer to your orgasm.
all for him. because of him.Â
you imagined him standing in the doorway, arms crossed as he smirked at you and⌠oh, that did it. your orgasm hit you instantaneously, the pleasure blinding as you felt yourself clenching on your own fingers. it made you feel a little drunk, experiencing your peak in both ways. you moaned his name as you came, calling out to him in a plea he wouldnât hear until he was back home, until you could apologize in person and he could pound you into the mattress himself.Â
you pulled your sticky fingers from your core and wiped them against your sheets, something youâd normally care a lot about⌠right now, it didnât matter. you grabbed your phone from your nightstand and opened the camera before sliding down the bed, lying there against the pillows.Â
you posed for the photo so that joe could see your right hand still between your legs, fingertips still slowly dancing across your now overly sensitive clit. you hoped heâd be able to see the sheen of sweat across your abdomen, and your pert nipples as you pressed your arm against your tits to give him a better view.Â
you snapped the photo and opened your messages, frowning as you clicked on the thread and the last thing you saw was the thumbs up youâd sent. you added the image and typed him a quick message before hitting send.Â
you: i miss you a lot and iâm sorry. hurry back home đĽ˛Â
you locked your phone after double-checking the photo and message, you wanted to make sure it sounded right. you placed it back on your nightstand and you rolled over, burying your face in the pillows. you were spent after all of that work, and your eyes slowly closed as your breathing slowed and you fell into a light slumber.Â
âÂ
joe grabbed the keycard from his pocket, quickly sliding it into the door and pulling it out before twisting the handle and stepping inside. he slid his shoes off and went straight for the bed, plopping down flat on his back as he stared up at the ceiling.
team dinner was nice, but the conversations droned on and he was exhausted, and he was missing you. heâd told himself all week that he wouldnât come to you first, that heâd either wait until he was home to apologize or wait until you texted or called him, but his resolve was slipping.Â
he needed you. he needed to touch your soft, perfumed skin. he needed to press his lips to every inch of your body⌠but also also needed you because the game was tomorrow night, and he didnât think he could do it without one of your pep talks. he knew you knew that too, but he didnât want to push it in case you were still mad at him. he grabbed his phone from his pocket and his heart lurched as he saw the notification, youâd sent him a message a little over an hour ago.Â
he quickly unlocked his phone and immediately the breath was knocked from him as he saw the lewd image youâd attached, with a message about missing him. his anxieties flew out the window, replaced by an incessant desire for you. it was carnal, he knew he had to do everything he could now to win that game and get home to you, to take you apart and put you right back together afterwards as he often did.Â
he could feel his erection already growing in his pants, and with his eyes fixated on the image youâd sent he slowly reached his hand past the waistband and wrapped his fingers around his already painfully hard cock. he flicked his wrist one, two, three times as a soft moan fell past his pink lips, and his eyes fixated on the call button at the top of the screen. fuck it, he thought. he pressed it and brought the phone to his ear to listen to it ring.Â
after the fifth ring he thought he should hang up, heâd have to use his imagination to get himself there⌠but then he heard an open line, and your beautiful yet groggy voice greeted him.Â
âhello?â you asked, softly and innocently, but he knew you knew why he called. âbaby,â he breathed out, his voice desperate as he continued to stroke himself. you giggled and he hissed, knowing he was fucked. he heard you clear your throat before responding, his hand never stilling on his cock.Â
âis there something i can help you with?â
photos and dividers are not mine. all cred to owners.
taglist: @joeyburrrow @starsinthesky5 @joeyb1989 @kykysinlovewithafairytale @burrowdarling @bengals-barnesbabe @loveyatopluto @toterry @unhingedfangirl @superheroprincess22 @burreauxsworld @slimshiesty @yelenasbraid @definitelynotdomanique
#joe burrow#cincinnati bengals#nfl#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow fanfic#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow fan fic#joe burrow blurb#joe brrr#joeburrow#joey burrow#joey b#joe burrow smut#joe burrow imagines#joe burrow fics#joe burrow fanfiction#joe burrow fanfics#joe burrow x reader smut#joe burrow x reader fanfic#joe burroe x reader#joe burrow x y/n#joe burrow x you
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I mean?
Synopsis: On a press tour with your co-star Sebastian Stan, the interviewer asks you a question about another film he did and the answer surprises him.
Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Actress!Y/N
Word Count: IDK I'm too sleep deprived to count.
A/N: Bro I am on a resurgence. Might just fuck around and continue writing more fanfics or whatever.
Itâs another busy day promoting your new movie with Sebastian, The Road Trip. It's a funny romcom about two best friends going on a long trip to see another friend who your character is dating. Interestingly enough, the guy who plays him is Chris Evans. The interviews are currently being done in pairs, and you're with Sebastian.
You've always been candid, speaking your mind without feeling shy. Deep down, you're a bit of a pessimist, accepting things as they are. When you first heard from your agent that you were cast in The Road Trip alongside Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans, you laughed hysterically. The idea that you, an unconventional beauty, were chosen to be on screen with those two seemed surreal. You never really think about dating co-stars, which helps with acting in general. The media is impressed with how chill you are around A-list actors, and even though it hasnât fully sunk in yet, the industry has started promoting you to that list.
The interview has been going on for about 15 minutes when another journalist joins, mostly asking about the experience of working with the cast.
âItâs my first romcom, can you believe it?â you say.
âFirst?!â Sebastian stares in mock disbelief.
âI know, right?!â You feign surprise.
The interviewer continues, âHow does it feel to do something lighter and a bit comedic for once?â
âYou mean, a movie where no one dies?â Sebastian covers his mouth at your response.
âI mean essentially,â the interviewer laughs. âWait, no one dies?!â They nudge you playfully.
âI mean, Iâm not sure, no spoilers,â you say, breaking the fourth wall and looking into the camera. Sebastian cackles. âItâs definitely refreshing. It feels like going to school for some reason. Like I donât want to miss a class just because I might miss something wild happening.â
âWhat?â Sebastian glares. âWhat school did you go to?â
âI mean, aside from the learning stuffâŚâ You grimace. âItâs fun, honestly. Iâd love to do more romcoms. Itâs very down-to-earth and just resonates with you so much. I donât wanna get too cheesy, but Iâm such a hopeless romanticâthis is my jam.â
âSebastian, howâs your experience working with Chris again, this time outside of the Marvel universe?â
âWait, this isnât in the Marvel Universe?!â you butt in. Sebastian again, fakes a loud gasp. You two laugh. This interview feels like itâs going nowhere.
âItâs totally fun, as Y/N mentionedâit really is like going to class. But most of my scenes are with Y/N, so sheâs like the lab partner Iâve never had. Chris was always texting us, checking which location weâre going to be at, making sure weâre scheduled on the same day. Itâs fun when weâre both on set.â
You nod in agreement. âYeah, weâve got a good rhythm going. Itâs like having a little family on set. Plus, Chris is always the one who brings snacks, so thatâs a bonus.â
Sebastian laughs. âOh, absolutely. Chris and his endless supply of trail mix.â
The interviewer chuckles. âSounds like you all have a great dynamic. Was there a favorite scene you both enjoyed filming together?â
You think for a moment. âI really loved the scene where weâre stuck in the car during that rainstorm. It was so chaotic, but we had a blast improvising and just playing off each other.â
Sebastian nods. âYeah, that was a good one. The rain machine was going full blast, and we were just trying not to crack up the entire time.â
The interviewer smiles. âIt sounds like it was a lot of fun. And the chemistry definitely shows on screen. Speaking of different roles, Y/N, Sebastianâs been in the movie Fresh where he plays a sociopathic killer who preys on lonely women pretending to be a genuine guy.â
âI donât like where this is going,â you say, laughing, as Sebastian shakes his head.
âWould you, like Noa, fall prey to Steveâs antics?â This question gets a louder laugh from Sebastian as your face shows pure shock. You hold him back with your hand and say,
âIâve thought about this, to be honest,â you start, looking at Sebastian as he raises his eyebrows, impressed.
âOh, you have?â
You laugh and continue, patting his thigh and looking back at the interviewer. âMe and my friend talked about it a while back. And itâs frightening because I wouldâve probably ended up on a chopping block.â
âNoooo!â Sebastian shouts, âI was rooting for you.â
âNo! But, like, you are incredibly good-looking and charismatic. It would be hard not to give my number at the grocery aisle.â
He tilts his head at your response. âSurely not good enough to get yourself killed?!â
âYouâd be surprised how far Iâd even go,â you say, as the interviewer laughs with you both. âOh god, I need to call my therapist,â you add, ending the topic with the three of you gagging.
âMight just have to talk to mine too, after hearing that.â
You can already feel TikTok saving this clip and turning it into a meme.
You notice, after you call Sebastian good-looking, heâs been eyeing you sideways and biting his lip. As if heâs suddenly gone bashful. You canât help but feel a boost in your ego. Could it be that Stan is shy? You make it a point to tease him for the remainder of the interview.
âWhatâs something funny or unexpected that happened on set?â
âOh, there were so many moments,â you start. âOne time, we were filming this really serious scene, and out of nowhere, a bird flew into the set and landed right on Sebastianâs shoulder.â
Sebastian laughs. âYeah, I had no idea what to do. I just froze, and then Y/N started making bird noises to try and get it to fly away.â
You laugh, nodding. âIt took a good ten minutes to get back into character after that. Everyone was cracking up.â
The interviewer grins. âThat sounds hilarious. Itâs great to hear that you all had such a good time. Speaking of moments on set, were there any funny or awkward moments while filming the more romantic or intimate scenes?â
Sebastian raises an eyebrow, smirking. âOh, plenty. Like the time we were shooting that kiss scene in the rain, and Y/N kept slipping on the wet pavement.â
You roll your eyes playfully. âHey, it was slippery! You were the one who canât stop laughing during takes.â
Sebastian laughs. âTrue, true. But come on, we both know it was because you were so nervous about kissing me.â You notice him biting back.
You gasp in mock offense. âExcuse me, I was not nervous! I was just...distracted by how ridiculously good-looking you are. Itâs hard to concentrate when you have that face right in front of you.â He smiles uncontrollably again, feeling defeated by your nonchalance. He wonders, how are you so good at this?
The interviewer laughs, clearly enjoying the banter. âSo, who do you think had the hardest time keeping a straight face during those scenes?â
You both point at each other simultaneously, then laugh.
Sebastian leans back, shaking his head. âDefinitely Y/N. There was this one scene where we were supposed to be having this deep, romantic conversation, and she just couldnât stop giggling.â
You nudge him playfully. âWell, you werenât helping with all your ad-libs! You kept whispering things like, âIs that your stomach growling or are you just happy to see me?ââ
Sebastian laughs. âHey, I was trying to lighten the mood! And letâs not forget the scene where we had to stare into each otherâs eyes for what felt like an eternity. I swear, Y/N, you blink more than anyone I know.â
You smirk. âOnly because I was trying to avoid getting lost in those baby blues of yours.â At this point, Sebastian was laughing hard, but feeling nervous at your jokes. He secretly wished it were all real, his ears were red and hot. Heâs already thinking of how to approach you after the interview and get himself out of the friend zone which he didnât even thought heâd be in, having found a new interest in you.Â
The interviewer looks between the two of you, amused. âIt sounds like you both had a lot of fun with it. Do you think all that chemistry will translate to the screen?â
Sebastian nods. âOh, definitely. I think our off-screen dynamic really helped make the on-screen relationship feel more genuine. Plus, Y/N here is an amazing actress. She made it easy.â
You smile, feeling a bit bashful. âWell, Sebastianâs not too bad himself. Itâs hard not to enjoy working with someone whoâs so talented and, letâs be honest, ridiculously attractive.âÂ
Here she goes again .Sebastian grins. âRight back at you. But letâs be real, weâre both just incredibly good-looking people trying to make a movie here.â The internet is gonna have a field day.
The interviewer laughs. âSounds like a tough job! Any last funny or romantic moments youâd like to share?â
You think for a moment. âThere was this one scene where we had to dance together. Neither of us are professional dancers, so there were a lot of missteps and toe-stepping. But it ended up being one of the sweetest scenes because it felt so real and unpolished.â
Sebastian nods. âYeah, that was a great scene. It was supposed to be this perfectly choreographed dance, but it turned into us just goofing around and having fun. I think it really captured the essence of our characters' relationship.â
The interviewer smiles, clearly delighted by your stories. âWell, thank you both for sharing these wonderful moments. Itâs been a pleasure talking with you.â
As you and Sebastian leave the interview room, you head towards the lobby where a few other cast members are mingling. The energy is still high from the fun and laughter of the interview. Sebastian nudges you playfully as you walk.
âHey, remember in the interview when you called me incredibly good-looking and charismatic?â he teases, a mischievous glint in his eye.
You roll your eyes, grinning. âOh, come on. Donât let it go to your head, Stan.â
He chuckles. âToo late. Iâm pretty sure Iâm going to bring that up every chance I get now.â
âYou would,â you laugh, shaking your head. â Itâs not like I was lying.â
Sebastian stops walking, turning to face you. âWell, thank you. And for the record, youâre pretty incredible yourself. Both on screen and off.â
You feel a warm blush creeping up your cheeks, putting a palm to your chest as if to continue the gag. âThanks, Seb. That means a lot.â
He smiles, his eyes softening. âNo, really, itâs been really great working with you. I think we make a pretty good team.â
âI think so too,â you agree, feeling a flutter in your stomach, you realize heâs actually serious now. Thereâs a moment of silence as you both just look at each other, the playful teasing from earlier now replaced with something more tender.
Sebastian breaks the silence first. âSo, what do you say we celebrate wrapping up the promotion tour? Maybe dinner tonight?â
You raise an eyebrow, teasingly. âIs this your way of asking me out, Stan?â
He grins, a little sheepishly. âMaybe it is. What do you think?â
You pretend to think about it for a moment, then nod. âI think it sounds like a great idea.â
âPerfect,â he says, looking genuinely pleased. âIâll pick you up at eight?â
âEight it is."
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