#ended up with 19 and 14 respectively

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

Time for my Letterboxd Year in Review :3

[phoenixrisingastro]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS VI: “The Sex, Power & Sin Edition”

1. Scorpio placements don’t just want passion, they want a lover who is obsessed. Someone who would rather slit their wrists than imagine them with someone else. If you’re not ruined by their absence, they weren’t intense enough for you.

2. Lilith in the 1st house women walk into a room and make people feel unworthy. There’s an unspoken challenge in their gaze, a primal energy that says, “You couldn’t handle me, even if you tried.”

3. Capricorn Venus people are cold until they’re not. Once they decide you’re worth their time, they’ll carve their name into your ribcage and call it love.

4. Mars in Scorpio knows your weaknesses before you even speak. They weaponize desire, turning your cravings into their personal amusement. Ever been seduced and destroyed at the same time?

5. Neptune in the 8th house—sex is never just sex. It’s an out-of-body experience, a merging of souls, a death and rebirth. And yet, they leave their lovers haunted, chasing a high they’ll never get again.

6. Venus square Pluto—love feels like possession, like drowning in someone's essence, like a fatal addiction. Either you control them or they control you, but there is no in-between.

7. A heavily 12th house person will fantasize about you for years without saying a word. The obsession grows in the shadows, feeding on silence. And when they finally confess? It’s too late—they’ve already built an entire world with you in their head.

8. Mars in Leo men want to be worshiped in the bedroom. Call them a god, moan their name like a prayer, and watch them become unstoppable.

9. Chiron in the 7th house—every relationship leaves a scar. They attract broken lovers who see them as a savior, and yet, it’s them who needs saving.

10. 8th house Suns will undress your soul before they touch your body. If they ask about your childhood trauma while tracing circles on your thigh, run.

11. Uranus in the 5th house? You’re never their only lover. Even if they swear loyalty, their mind is somewhere else, always seeking, always craving.

12. People with Pluto on the Midheaven were born to rule. They will be loved, feared, and envied in equal measure. And those who try to dethrone them? End up destroyed.

13. Jupiter in the 8th house—sexually blessed. The kind of lover that makes you see God, but also the kind that leaves you spiritually ruined.

14. Venus in Aries falls fast, loves hard, and leaves scorched earth in their wake. If they’re too sweet in the beginning, be afraid. The crash is coming.

15. Lilith in the 7th house—men either worship them or want to ruin them. There is no middle ground.

16. Mercury square Pluto—words are weapons. They can make you fall in love, confess your sins, or shatter you with a single sentence.

17. Saturn in the 8th house—sex feels like a transaction. They either deprive themselves or become the ultimate dominant. Either way, control is always involved.

18. Moon in Scorpio—they know when you're lying. Even if the words are sweet, the energy tells the truth.

19. Mars in the 12th house—repressed desires, unholy cravings, sins they’d never confess. And yet, behind closed doors, they devour.

20. 5th house stelliums never just date—they create obsessions. Even their exes dream of them years later.

21. Sun in the 4th house? They will always be drawn to lovers who feel like home. But what happens when "home" is a war zone?

22. Midheaven in Scorpio—your success will always come with rumors, jealousy, and people trying to take you down. Let them try. You were made for this.

23. Lilith in the 10th house—sexualized and vilified. Respected, but feared. No one knows if they want to be them or destroy them.

24. Pluto in the 5th house—sexual magnetism that borders on dangerous. Lovers either become obsessed or never recover.

25. Neptune in the 1st house—people fall in love with their illusion. No one sees them clearly, and they like it that way.

26. 7th house Mars—relationships are a battlefield. Love isn’t real unless there’s passion, rage, and the occasional destructive argument.

27. Mercury in Scorpio—they know your secrets before you do. They will listen, absorb, and use every word against you when the time comes.

28. Pluto in the 8th house—death, rebirth, and karmic lovers that destroy them. They fear nothing, but desire everything.

29. Moon opposite Pluto—mommy issues, control issues, intimacy issues. They love deeply but fear losing themselves.

30. A Grand Water Trine? They can see your soul and know your weaknesses, but if they love you, they'll never use them against you. If they don't? Run.

© PhoenixRisingAstro, 2025. All rights reserved

[cokoakeostuff]

Character List. Hero's paradox

Hi! this post it's gonna be kind of a guide of the 12 Links that make up the story I'll be editing this as I finish all their respective drawings. I won't be specifying their ages but rather an approximate.

> You can read the plot here

> Heights chart

Adventures: Skyward sword

Age: 20-24 [Young adult]

Now living peacefully with Zelda on the surface, he has found a quiet joy in life.

His days are spent helping Zelda, playing music, or woodcarving

Although the Master Sword is no longer in his possession, he often visits Fi’s resting place, even though he never receives an answer.

Adventures: Minish Cap

Age: 11-12 [Kid]

After sealing Vaati, he no longer wields the Four Sword

Don’t let his youth or small stature fool you—underestimating him would be a mistake.

Kind-hearted, honest, and sweet, he never hesitates to lend a helping hand to those in need.

He is the youngest (and shortest)

Adventures: Ocarina of time & Majora's Mask

Age: 20-22 [Young adult]

After saving Hyrule and Termina, he now lives as a traveler, and helps out at Lon Lon Ranch.

Despite everything he has faced, he has never given up on his search for Navi.

He is considering joining the Royal Guard,

He doesn’t fully understand it yet, but he has a small crush on Malon, his childhood friend.

Adventures: Wind Waker & Phantom of hourglass

Age: 13-14 [Teen]

He spends much of his time exploring new places with Tetra and always returns with gifts for his little sister.

The most expressive and talkative of them all.

He enjoys joining in whenever the others play music.

Adventures: Spirit Tracks

Age: 13-14 [Teen]

He is physically very similar to the Hero of Winds.

As soon as New Hyrule was safe, he was finally able to continue with his passion: trains.

• He tends to be very forgetful and a bit distracted. His constant fatigue from his job doesn’t help, but despite that, he genuinely enjoys it.

Adventures: Twilight Princess

Aliases: Blue-Eyed Beast, Hero of Twilight Age: 19-22 [Young adult]

He misses Midna deeply, more than anything else.

After his adventures, he returned to Ordon, where his heart belongs, taking care of animals and watching over his friends.

He carries a sword at all times—just in case.

Adventures: Four swords/adventures (Merged)

Age: 12 - 13 [Teen]

He’s the one who most recently finished his adventure; he was on his way to return the Four Sword to its pedestal but ended up with the others before he could do so.

The son of a knight, he was a soldier-in-training before setting out on his quest to defeat Vaati.

The Four Sword has had some mysterious side effects on him...

Adventures: A link to the past, Oracle of seasons and ages & Link's awakening

Age: 17-19 [Teen]

He’s often seen wearing a flower—not because he’s particularly fond of them, but because they remind him of Marin.

After his journey to Koholint Island, he finally took a break from seeking adventures; he needed time to process everything he had been through.

He spends his days tending to his collection of artifacts.

Adventures: Link between worlds, & Tri force Heroes

Age: [Teen]

He shares Wild’s love for clothing and owns a dozen (ridiculous) outfits for every occasion.

He keeps the bracelet Ravio gave him as a precious possession; in the end, he learned to appreciate the cowardly, greedy rabbit.

He’s lively and has a peculiar sense of humor. Out of everyone, he’s the one who’s adapted best to teamwork.

Adventures: Zelda I & Zelda II

Age: 16-18 [Teen]

He struggles to let his guard down and relax, a result of living in a hostile Hyrule and constantly facing threats to his life.

He usually prefers to rely on magic and spells but won’t hesitate to prove he is a formidable swordsman.

It’s not something he’ll say out loud, but for him, turning into a fairy is probably the most fun thing to do.

Adventures: Hyrule Warriors

Age: 20-23 [Young Adult]

Out of the entire group, he’s probably the one who best understands the situation they’re going through—it feels oddly familiar to him.

He once let reckless overconfidence and ego almost kill him once, so he’s determined not to let that happen again. He might come off as arrogant at first, but it’s nothing more than a joke; in serious moments, he’s sensible and deeply cares for everyone.

He currently dedicates his life to his military career.

Adventures: Breath of the wild & Tears of the kingdom

Aliases: Hylian Champion, Champion of Hyrule, Hero. Age: 20-23 [Young adult]

By the age of four, he was already a prodigious swordsman, capable of besting fully trained knights.

He silently loved Mipha, seeing in her a kind soul who loved him for who he was as a person, not for the hero he was destined to be. Sadly, they never had the chance to confess their feelings to each other.

He became far more talkative and expressive after his awakening. Though he still carries the guilt of his fallen friends and kingdom, he no longer feels the crushing weight of the world’s expectations pressing down on him.

———— thanks for reading!

[5sospenguinqueen]

Lullabies | Max Verstappen x Singer! Reader

Summary: Six months ago, Max walked out of your life after a conversation about your future. When you find out he' ended up in a's dating Kelly - who has a child - you work through your emotions in the best way you know how; revenge music.

Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Miscommunication. End of a relationship. Max doesn’t look great in this.

Female reader with various faceclaims. Takes place in 2021 but timelines have been completely altered. Olivia Rodrigo songs.

Main Masterlist

next.

━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━

Feb

YourUserName just posted

liked by georgerussell63, bestfriend and others

YourUserName 'and i fantasise about a time you're a little fucking sorry'

12,326 comments

User 1 mother is in the studio, ya’ll. i'm smelling a new album

User 2 did their breakup destroy my soul? yes. do i believe the revenge album will heal my soul? absolutely

User 3 the working titles are so unhinged and I’m here for it

→ User 4 hit you with a car is so real

→ User 5 love that she called him evil whilst also saying that she wants him to drive off a cliff. we respect it

francisca.cgomes i’m SO ready for this. sure you can’t give me a little preview?

→ YourUserName stop trying to get me fired

User 6 sis disappears from social media for 6 months only to come back serving cunt

━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━

2 months before

━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━

May

redbullracing just posted

liked by YourUserName, maxverstappen1 and others

redbullracing ANOTHER VICTORY FOR MAX VERSTAPPEN 🏆 #AustrianGP tagged: maxverstappen1, kellypiquet

7,445 comments

User 7 omg omg omg y/n liked. this is not a drill

User 8 was that last photo really necessary? she’s just a wag, she’s not actually part of red bull

User 9 not y/n liking 🥺 he broke her heart but she’s still supportive of his career

User 10 that should’ve been Y/N

━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━

June

YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, victoriaverstappen and others

YourUserName 'you’re just a stranger i know everything about'

10,102 comments

User 11 not max liking despite not even following

victoriaverstappen so talented

liked by maxverstappen1

→ YourUserName thank you, vic x

→ User 12 not the former SILs interacting on main

alex_albon what's that sound? oh, it's just my tears

→ YourUserName doofus

→ lilymhe can confirm

User 12 and now my heart is breaking all over again. i miss the two of them so bad

kellypiquet just posted

liked by landonorris, redbullracing and others

kellypiquet summer break with my favourites 🤍 tagged: maxverstappen1

4,387 comments

User 13 so pretty

User 14 goals

User 15 anyone notice max hasn’t been commenting since y/n became active again on socials

→ User 16 delusional

→ User 17 clearly they're fine if she's posting vacay pics with him

→ User 18 except these are clearly old pics because max had stubble at the gp like two days ago so...

→ User 15 @ user16 plus he always used to comment and this time he's not even liked the post

→ User 19 not to add fuel to the fire but they were also spotted arguing after his podium

YourUserName posted a new story

Baby Fever Angst Series

Tag List (I tried to include all those who asked. Sorry if you only wanted to be tagged in Part 2 to Daniel and not the other drivers, it got a bit confusing haha)

@lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @callsignwidow @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery

[whoreforsexymen]

SMUT | One-Liner Prompt List

Pairings: Anyone x Reader

Pronouns: Mix of GN!, Fem!Pronouns, etc. Will happily make any prompt request specific to your preferences 🤍

Rating: NSFW, 18+, MDNI !! You WILL be blocked!

Notes: Please feel free to send submissions using one or more of these!! 🤍 I can’t wait to see what characters, prompt combos, and ideas you guys come up with!!

Will be updating this list as I come up with more, or will be adding more parts. If you wanna see specifically themed prompt lists, lmk in my ask box!!!!

Will be creating a fluff list, too. Stay tuned 🤍

REQUEST/SUBMISSION INFO

1. “Stop looking at me like that or else I’m gonna cum too fast.”

2. “Don’t act like you didn’t want to end up under me like this.”

3. “Ooh. The cat’s got claws~”

4. “No, no— Don’t let little ol’ me stop you.”

5. “No. Don’t take those off. Those stay on.”

6. “You didn’t seriously think I was gonna let you cum… Did you?”

7. “I’d rather watch you take something other than whiskey down your throat.” “Oh yeah? Like what?”

8. “Don’t mock me while I’m fucking you.”

9. “That’s a bold decision, considering how I’m balls deep in you right now.”

10. “Patience, love. Good girls/boys are patient.”

11. “Lousy manners won’t get you very far. Now. Try saying ‘please’?”

12. “I’d spank you but I think you’d enjoy it too much for it to be reprimanding.”

13. “It really is such a shame that you can’t tell me what you want with a mouth so full of my cock.”

14. “If you want my cock you’re gonna have to do a better job of convincing me.”

15. “Watch your tone. Don’t make me put you in your place.”

16. “Crawl.”

17. “Sorry, love, it’s hard to understand you with your face buried in the pillows like that.”

18. “Shut up and fuck me already.”

19. “Careful love, or I might just eat you alive before you can leave.”

20. “You’re just dripping, aren’t you? How bad are you aching for me to fuck you, huh?”

21. “Shut up and take my fuckin’ cock.”

22. “Then I guess I’ll just fuck you up against the window, hmm? Make everybody watch. Since you clearly want an audience so bad, cause you can’t stay quiet.”

23. “You’re pretty demanding for a brat who’s done nothing to earn the right to make demands.”

24. “You talk such a big game for someone who can’t even put two words together when I’m fucking them.”

25. “If your eyes move from mine even once, I’m leaving. And I won’t come back. I’ll leave you here all alone. Aching. Begging.”

26. “You call that begging? Tsk tsk. You can do better than that.”

27. “You call that moaning? Tsk tsk. You can moan better than that.”

28. “You call that crawling? Tsk tsk. You can crawl better than that.”

29. “I won’t even consider fucking you unless you cum all over my boots first. Show me how bad you want it.”

30. “Lick it up.”

31. “Slow.”

32. “Easy.”

33. “Careful, little mouse. Keep talkin’ like that and I might just have to teach you a thing or two about respect.”

34. “That’s not nearly desperate enough.”

35. “Did I hear a please? My. You’re being so polite for once.”

36. “You’re being so obedient.”

37. “Keep your hands to yourself.”

38. “Don’t make me come over there.”

39. “I’m not pulling out. Want you full of my cum. Want to see that shit dripping out of you by the time I’m through with you.”

40. “So that’s why you had such an attitude, eh? Just needed a good fucking to pacify you?”

[rainyinautumn]

Did someone say COMPLETE DATA ANALYSIS OF ALL THE DEATHS IN THE LIFE SERIES? No? Well. I did it. Here are some neat graphs for you guys to look at so that you don’t have to deal with the gigantic spreadsheet I did!

Let’s start off with the big bad question: what gets people killed in this game, anyway?

Note that a CAUSE OF DEATH is not the same as a KILL. Cause of death is what pops up in the chat when someone dies (ex. PearlescentMoon was slain by Smallishbeans, BdoubleO100 fell from a high place). The cause of death does not always account for player responsibility (ex. TNT traps). Generally, a player is only considered to be someone’s cause of death if the death occurs through direct PvP combat. HOWEVER, responsibility for an indirect kill such as a trap still goes toward a player’s total kill count—for example, Joel has 14 kills overall, 10 of which are direct enough for him to be considered the actual cause of death. After all, axes don’t kill people without being swung by someone.

A few other whacky things about kill counts:

Self-inflicted deaths do not count toward a player’s kill count (ex. Grian doesn’t get a kill for jumping off Monopoly Mountain at the end of 3rd Life, Scott doesn’t get a kill for blowing himself up at the end of Double Life).

When it comes to Double Life, soulmates are considered to share their three lives. No distinction is made between Soulmate A's life and Soulmate B's life, and each death only counts as one kill (ex. Joel gets one kill for killing Scott with fireworks, even though that also killed Pearl (however, Pearl’s cause of death is still Joel, as her life is considered the same as Scott’s)).

Using the /kill command does not count toward your kill count. Grian.

With that cleared up, let’s look at kill counts.

By the skin of his teeth, Grian leads the pack in total kills. The top three you see on that graph are the only players who have a KDR (kill-to-death ratio) of more than 1—for you folks who are unfamiliar with those, a KDR of more than 1 means you kill other people more often than you die. Less than 1 means you die more often than you kill other people. Here are the highest and lowest KDRs in the series:

“What’s this?” I hear you say. “Jimmy Wet-Paper-Bag-of-a-Man Solidarity DOESN’T have the lowest KDR in the series?”

No. No, he does not, and it’s actually really funny you should ask.

Because of Last Life’s mechanic of life transferring, even players that have been in all three installments of the Life Series don’t have the same death count. Eight players died more than three times in Last Life. Another eight died exactly three times. And one player only died twice.

By virtue of starting on yellow and never receiving any extra lives in Last Life, Jimmy holds the record for fewest deaths in an installment of the Life Series with just two deaths in Last Life. He is the only player to ever die less than three times in a game. This means that although he has just one kill, he has fewer total deaths than BigB (who has died a very standard nine times), the only other player with one kill, so his KDR is higher. Congrats, Jimmy, you’re not last in everything. But you are still the only player without a PvP kill.

Speaking of PvP, it’s time to look at how people do that! Here’s a graph of the top five weapons that tend to land PvP kills the most in the series:

And now here’s weapon preferences by game:

[Double Life not depicted due to lack of PvP deaths—only 4 occurred, using a diamond axe, a diamond sword, fireworks, and an iron axe respectively.]

Despite 19 more deaths occurring in Last Life than 3rd Life, the two actually have the exact same amount of PvP kills (28). It’s interesting to note the strong preference for bows in 3rd Life, which was a much more warlike game and had several fairly formal battles where people fought from a distance. Last Life required an overall sneakier strategy, resulting in a higher use of traps. In combat, non-ranged weapons like swords and axes were generally preferred due to fights often starting in close proximity and without warning, courtesy of the Boogeyman curse. Comparatively, Double Life saw remarkably few PvP kills, likely due to each person being twice as accident-prone by virtue of being linked to another player—in fact, with a total of 12, accidents accounted for three times as many deaths as PvP in Double Life and overall for more than half (57%) of the deaths in the game.

As for individual player stats sheets, here’s an example of one of those:

If you want to see one of those for ALL 17 PLAYERS, you can go to this slideshow! More details about the stats can be found in the presentation notes of each slide. And, if you have a really specific question and want to get into the nitty gritty, feel free to send me an ask! Hope you guys enjoyed the data!

[kakiastro]

Will I be Famous?

Astrology of Fame

When it comes to if you’ll be famous, there’s several indicators that can show you having the potential to be famous. Obviously, it’s still going to take work to achieve this but you’ll have certain advantages based on your chart

Leo + 5h placements + Leo degrees (5°, 17°, 29°) + Sun aspects

- Leo is the sign of fame. If you have any placements in Leo then yes, you have the strong potential to be famous or well known.

- The 5h is Leo house so even if you don’t have any planets in the sign of Leo but have it in Leo house, you still have strong potential for fame.

- Leo degrees is also a big indicator.

5°- short term fame. You can be famous forever but you’ll always be known for this one particular thing or a few, and won’t be in the mainstream media as much unless it’s about that thing you did

17°- moderate fame. Being more well known in the mainstream media. You’ll have quite a few well known projects that you’ll be famous for.

29°- long term fame, you’re constantly in the media and you have a long range of projects

-having close aspects to your Sun also influence if you have fame energy.

Example: Sun conj MC indicates being well known on in your chosen field.

Saturn + 10h + Capricorn placement and degrees (10° and 22°

-Saturn rules over your career and public image. Saturn also rules over our legacy after we retire. “What will people remember me for?”

-having your planet’s especially your personal planets (big 6)in the 10h can indicate being well known and highly respected.

-Now Saturn is long term fame but it’s also the planet that takes a long time to get to where you want to go. Consistency, Strong work ethic, being responsible are the keys for success

10° is the degree that represents respect and long term goals

22° is one of the most notorious degrees. It’s named “kill or be killed” degree. Now this doesn’t mean you will be killed or you will kill someone (I hope not anyway lol) I personally look at this degree in what are you willing to sacrifice or not to achieve your goals?

Uranus + 11h + Aquarius Placements + degrees (11°, 23°)

- Uranus rules over society, networking, and social friend group. It also rules over your collected wealth. Taurus and 2h rules over the wealth you are building but Uranus and 11h is what you have built.

-have your personal plant placements can make you very influential to a large group of people. Remember Aquarius is Leo sister sign. Leo is the stage but Aquarius is the people. Part of being famous is your fans and fandom. Uranus is a generational planet so having these placements means you impact on your generation.

Example: I’m from the Uranus Aquarius generation so being well known on social media and influencing large group of people. It’s in the 7h (placidus) and 8h (whole sign) so I’m building a business that talk about occult topics . I also talk about healing a lot on this blog

11° means you’re good at connecting with people, you may know all kinds of people for different purposes

23° means you are the one everyone knows or at least heard of. People go through you because you are the networker.

Venus + 2h and 7h + Taurus and Libra + degrees (2°, 14°, 26°, 7°, 19°)

-Venus is a huge fame indicator. Beauty and looks is a huge part of being famous. You can use your Venus sign to your advantage by matching the energy of the sign and house it’s in.

Example: if you have Venus Aries 5h, wearing reds, oranges, yellows, bangs or side parts are some of the ways you can show this energy

-libra rules over one on one connections and partnerships. It’s how we connect with people up close and personal. This is where enemies reveal themselves openly.

7° is one of the degrees that rules over beauty and aesthetics, may be really charming

19° is one of the karmic degrees. It’s the partnership degree. You may meet lots of past life people in this lifetime. You may end up being with a past life partner. This is also the business degree.

-Taurus rules over all of our finances and the things we are building in our life. It also rules fashion but more so our physical beauty features such as dimples ect; while Libra is the beauty and aesthetics.

2° is known as the powerhouse degree. You have the power and energy to build an empire if you want too.

14° and 26° are both the fashion, pretty face degrees. There’s also a natural beauty energy.

Do you have any of these placements?

Have you booked your reading with me yet?

[withahappyrefrain]

⭐ 60 Fun Meet Cutes ⭐

1) A and B’s coffee orders are identical. Confusion (and promised calls) occur.

2) A always steals B’s parking spot and normally they wouldn't say anything but not today asshole!

3) A and B are seated next to each other at the singles table for a wedding.

4) B owns a bookshop and A really needs this book because their book club meeting is in two days.

5) A is a doctor/nurse treating B for an injury, but B won't stop flirting.

6) A pretends to be B’s significant other because they can tell that creep is bothering B.

7) They meet at the dog park and their dogs won't stop playing with one another.

8) They meet at the dog park and B’s dog won't stop following A’s!

9) They're both at a party and notice the other is sitting alone on the couch so we join.

10) They get volun-told to do a karaoke duet by their respective friend groups.

12) A and B’s families have been trying to set them up for years. They meet by accident.

13) A runs a stand at the local farmers market that B loves (the owner being cute and sweet is a major plus too).

14) They grab the same book at the library.

15) “You have the wrong number, but stay on!”

16) A and B have been set up on a blind date together. Neither one of them expect it to go well, given their mutual friend's track record.

17) A and B both want the last pack of cigarettes. It's not even for themselves, but they'll certainly argue about it.

18) "Hi, I'm pretty sure I saw you on a dating app and while I swiped right, you did not and wow you're beautiful in person."

19) A’s a tour guide for B, who is currently supervising a field trip of twenty seven-year olds.

20) A is B’s least favorite author but they don't realize until halfway through their rant.

21) "Hey, my friend is into your friend. But they're too scared to make a move, can you help me get them together?"

22) They're at the grocery store and A can't reach the item on the top shelf, so B helps them.

23) “Hey, so I helped your grandparent cross the street and they insisted that I meet you, their grandchild.”

24) It's their high school reunion and A is like eighty percent sure B was their lab partner, unfortunately B has no idea what they're talking about.

25) A’s friends insisted on going to a strip club for a bachelor/bachelorette party and A is really enjoying their time talking to B, the hostess.

26) An unexpected torrential downpour happens and they end up taking shelter at the same place.

27) “I'm your neighbor and I swear to God, if you don't turn that music down-"

28) They’re both PhD students and their dissertations contradict each other's and boy, are they going to have some intense eye contact about it.

29) B is A’s child's new teacher and their kid won't stop mentioning that their parent is single.

30 “I'm so sorry, but my friends won't stop bothering me until I get someone's number tonight, it doesn't have to be your real one, I'm just so tired of their shenanigans.”

31) A is the hot firefighter who visits B’s classroom to talk about safety.

32) A and B are paired up for a roller coaster and one of them needs to hold the other's hand to get through the ride.

33) “Look, your date may not want to dance with you, but I certainly will!”

34) They're both celebrities and their fans ship them so A and B do an interview together for their respective press tours.

35) They're both on the bus and A is reading the book B’s been wanting so badly and they gotta know if it's good or not because the waitlist at the library is ridiculous.

36) They're at an art museum and have wildly different interpretations of the same portrait.

37) It's been arranged by their families for A and B to marry as a peace treaty. When they meet for the first time, they bond over their families fighting

38) "Do you mind if I sit here? There are no other seats available."

39) A doesn’t know why their friend's girlfriend invited them to their coworker's nephew's bar mitzvah but they have a stain from the chocolate fountain and B is an angel with their Tide to go stick.

40) “If you don't fix your collar/tie/hat, I will do it myself!”

41) “The food in your grocery store cart looks so good, what are you making?"

42) A sees B at the Renaissance Fair and is determined to give B a rose.

43) They're both at the eye doctor and can't figure out which glasses to buy.

44) They end up sitting next to each other in a movie theater during a horror movie, and cling to each other for moral support

45) A owns a flower shop and B just needs the courage to go inside and say hello.

46) B’s dog somehow got out and A find it. Yes, it's late at night but from B’s voice over the phone, A knows they need to return this dog STAT.

47) A has always signed up to bring the dessert for their work's potluck. Who does B think they are taking their slot?

48) A’s friends signed them up for a dating app and set them up on a date with B without A’s knowledge.

49) B’s running an adoption event and A doesn’t even like animals but my God, is B so damn cute with them.

50) They're spies who have to pretend to be a couple for an assignment.

51) They’re professors who teach the same course but disagree over teaching methods.

52) A is B’s friend's asshole boss and B is just trying to drop off C’s lunch without strangling A.

53) A’s a witch who run a shop. B barges in, asking about the best curse to give someone (without killing them of course).

54) A is a hairdresser at a fancy salon and B shouldn't be spending $150 on a haircut but they need to talk to A.

55) A is a personal trainer and B is their client and A knows they need to keep it professional but it's really hard!

56) A is the photographer and B’s the caterer for the worst wedding ever.

57) It's the county Fair and A has lost their niece/nephew, so they ask B for help.

58) A is having a horrendous case of writer’s block, B works at the cafe A has been staying in for the past few days and is very concerned.

59) Hades and Persephone AU bc why not

60) A is a tattoo artist and it's B's first time getting a tattoo.

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

I'll be putting the tag list at the end now ❤️

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24 , PART 25 , PART 26 , PART 27 (You're here) , PART 28

Merlin: (thinking, reciting Gaius words) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful (enters the throne room and bows) Did you call for me, Sire?

Uther: (siting on his throne, pulls out the neckerchief and asks very serious) Do you recognise this.

Merlin: (thinking) Straight to the point then... (pretends to analyse the item and then says) No, I don't believe so, Sire.

Uther: Are you sure?

Merlin: Pretty sure. I've never seen it in my life.

Uther: (puts the clothing back in his pocket) This clothing is part of a serious investigation, so I wanted to make sure.

Merlin: A investigation, Sire?

Uther: Early in the morning this clothing was found deep in the woods with dry blood stains. There were some blood stains on the ground nearby too.

Merlin: Oh... Well, good luck with your investigation then, Sire. 😅 (smiles nervous, thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.

Uther: And more recently the bodies of Aulfric and Sophia Tirmawr were found.

Merlin: (confused) What? 😨

Uther: They are sending the corpses to Gaius to analyse them as we speak.

Merlin: (between worried and confused, to himself) But... that's not possible. (thinking) Or is it?

Uther: And why would that not be possible? 🤨

Merlin: (thinking) Shit! (says, trying to stay calm) Because I saw them leave Camelot with Arthur, Sire. They should've been away long ago. Why would someone kill them? Are you… Are you sure it’s them, Sire? (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.

Uther: (thinking) I never said they were killed (says) They could've died in the way. Who knows? Robbers, landslides, wild beasts. There are many hidden dangers on a road trip.

Merlin: Exactly! Maybe even the raiders that sacked their home?

Uther: (laughs dryly) Incredible… you dare to lie to the King right in front of his face. You don't fear the consequences at all.

Merlin: Why would I fear that, Sire? (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.

Uther: Do not insult my intelligence, I'm not Arthur. If you had told me that the garment was yours but you didn't know how it'd got there, I would've believed you. That would've confirmed what Gaius told me about you. That you are a boy without guile and malice, because that is what an honest and pure-hearted person would have said. They would've told the truth even though that would've put them under suspicion because they would trust in their own innocence. But you did the opposite, you denied that this was yours, which shows that you are not only cunning but also calculating. I do not blame you for lying, any wise person would avoid having any connection with murder case's evidence. The thing is that only a person who is aware that a murder occurred would do so, because if Sophia and her father had really left as you say then you wouldn't have seen the need to lie.

Merlin: (thinking, between nervous an impressed)I always wondered how he managed to almost erradicate the entire magic user community, the dragons and almost all the dragonlords. Now I know, he's very fucking smart! Okay, Merlin, just stick to the plan. Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful.(says) Or maybe the neckerchief really is not mine, Sire.

Uther: (enraged, he hits the throne and stands up) Stop lying to your King! Stop thinking you're so clever and disrespecting me! (pulls out the neckerchief and walks to Merlin) I know for a fact that this neckerchief is yours. It’s the only thing I knew for sure before you entered this room. And before you spout any more lies from that vile and poisonous tongue of yours, I can also prove it. (stops infront of Merlin) The first thing I did upon receiving this neckerchief was to research this fabric. This color is something only royalty uses, but there are many royal families in Albion, so each royal family has a different embroidery pattern so they can differentiate their belongings from other royals, and this fabric! (raises the cloth in a fist) was made especially for the Pendragon royal family. This is something only I or my son could wear. It goes without saying that this does not belong to me or Arthur. And before you come up with another pathetic excuse to defend yourself, I'll tell you that each batch that the fabrics are dyed with is not only expensive, but limited. Only a certain amount of purple dye is made each year so only a few yards of fabric are dyed. That's why the yards of fabric my son and I received are all recorded. (takes out log book and opens it) In the last year I received 4 meters of fabric, Arthur 2 meters, of which he used to make a tunic and... guess what he did with the leftover? A neckerchief (closes book and puts it back in his pocket)

Merlin: ...

Uther: So what do you have to say for yourself now?

Merlin: (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful. Deny, be submissive, be respectful. (says in the calmest voice he can) I don't know what you want me to say, Sire. It seems like you already decided I'm guilty.

Uther: (drops the neckerchief and lifts his sword at Merlin, threatening) Where are Aulfric and Sophia?

Merlin: (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful! Deny, be submissive, be respectful! (says) Didn't you just say you found the bodies, Sire?

Uther: (raises his voice) Don't play dumb with me! You knew they weren't found! Where did you hide them?!

Merlin: I didn't kill them!

Uther: One more lie and I'll cut your throat! At first I thought you were just some peasant after some coins, but your ambition was way bigger, wasn't it?

Merlin: (thinking) Deny, be submissive, be respectful! Deny, be submissive, be respectful!

Uther: And, since Lady Sophia was getting in the way of your plans, you got rid of her! An innocent, lovely lady-

Merlin: Oh, please! She was anything but innocent.

Uther: (can't believe the audacity) What?

Merlin: (thinking) Fuck! Deny, be... how was it? (says) I mean, how do you know she was innocent, Sire? You are SO suspicious of me, and yet didn't bother to corroborate Aulfric's story was true at all! "We are from Tirmawr and our home was sacked by raiders, boo", really? Anybody could enter the castle claiming they're nobels like that! But sure, lets invite these outsiders we've never seen in our lifes. What do we have to be afraid of? It's not like we are someone important like royalty and recieve assesinations attemps on a daily basis! (composes himself)... Sire.

Uther: (lets out a small laugh of triumph) So that's the excuse you gave Arthur! That they were impostors that were trying to kill him, so that he would cover for you.

Merlin: No! I'm just saying they could've been-

Uther: If Sophia really wanted to kill the Prince of Camelot she would've waited til they were alone at their honeymoon. Yet she ran away, because YOU humiliated her! And do you really want me to believe Arthur wouldn't be able to defend himself of a defenseless young lady and an old man? Arthur, a trained knight!.

Merlin: (thinking, trying very hard no to explode) Submissive and respectful. Stay submissive and repectful (says, gritting his teeth) I'm just saying first impressions aren't always the right ones and it's not wise to understimate people even if they look harmless, Your Majesty.

Uther: Oh, I'm definitely not going to understimate you. (sheaths his sword) I heard what I needed to hear. You're days here in Camelot are over. You are going to go back to your stinky little village with nothing but what you're wearing and never return!

Merlin: (shouts, alarmed) What?! You can't do that! You can't separate me from Arthur!

Uther: (shouts back) I'm the king, so yes I can! And if you dare to cross the border you'll be executed immediately. I'm never letting you near my son again!

Merlin: (his face contorts with disbelief, anguish and anger, thinking) Deny-submi-respec-FUCK IT, FUCK IT ALL! (suddenly, he laughs and laughs and laughs, saying) You are so, SO funny!

Uther: (surprised at his reaction, but says very serious) I don't recall saying anything funny.

Merlin: (Stops laughing) Sorry, let me correct myself. You are SO SCARED it's funny.

Uther: ...What?

Merlin: You say you are so certain I killed Aulfric and Sophia, but instead of just arresting and execute me for murder, you had to lock up Arthur in the dungeons for what? To make this stupid test and then threaten to do stuff you can't actually do, because you know Arthur wouldn't allow it! The truth is, Uther Pendragon, you can't do ANYTHING to me. You can't HURT me.

Uther: (slaps Merlin, furious)

Meanwhile, with Arthur in the dungeons.

Arthur: (trying to force the door open) Come on. Come on!

Sir Innprudence: (from the celd beside) It's useless, Sire. We tried.

Sir Ewan: (from the celd in the other side) No, we didn't!

Sir Innprudence: Right, we didn't, because that's wrong.

Arthur: What are you doing here?

Sir Ewan: You sent us here, Sire.

Sir Innprudence: And it's being a nightmare! I miss my family and friends. I'm starting to forget their faces! 😭

Arthur: You've just been here for a day. 😒

Sir Innprudence: But you've been here for less than an hour and you're trying to escape, sire.

Sir Ewan: (scolds) Innprudence! 😠 (to Arthur) I'm sure that's not what you were really doing, Sire.😅

Arthur: No, that's exactly what I'm doing. My father is planning to do something to Merlin, I don't know what, but if he had to imprisoned me here to do it, it mustn't be good. I have to get out, now!

Sir Innprudence: Well, I have a little spoon here, Sire. Maybe we could use it to make a hole in the wall-

Arthur: That would take years!

Sir Ewan: I managed to make a stick with a little hook to try to grab the keys, but the guards that have them are too far.

Arthur: So it's pointless.

Sir Ewan: ...yeah.

Arthur: (exasperated, to the ceiling) Can't I have a useful knight for once? Just once!

Sir Ewan: I'm sorry, Sire.

Sir Innprudence: There isn't really much we can do. The King's will is above anyone else's.

Arthur: (to himself, whispering) The King... (calls out one of the guards) Hey, you! Come here! Your future King is talking to you!

Guard: (comes) Do you need something, Sire?

Arthur: I demand to be release this instant.

Guard: That's not possible, Sire. The King-

Arthur: Your King now.

Guard: ...Excuse me, Sire?

Arthur: My father won't be King forever. And, once he passes, I'll be your King. A King who will remember this very day when he was imprisoned against his will. And guess who is going to be the first to receive my rage?

Guard: ...

Arthur: However, if you help me out now. Rage will be replaced by gratitude that will come in the form of lands, money... or even status. More than enough for you and your family.

Guard: (tempted, but scared) Sire... please. I can't disobey the King. It's treason.

Arthur: What are you talking about? You didn't disobey the King. I got a hold of you and you fighted hard, but I'm a very skilled knight, so I managed to knock you out and that's when a took your keys and escaped.

Guard: ...

Arthur: So? The keys?

Guard: (pulling out the key, still doubtful) But... if the King finds out...

Arthur: (smiles, reassuring) He won't find out. I'll make it believable. (extends his hand) The keys.

Guard: (extends the hand with the keys)

Arthur: (pulls his arm instead and hits his head with the iron bars)

Guard: (falls to the floor, unconscious)

Arthur: I told I'd make it believable. (takes the keys and opens the cell) Thank you. (leaves running)

Sir Innprudence: Wait! Sire!

Sir Ewan: You forgot about us! Sire!

Sir Innprudence: ...

Sir Ewan:...

Sir Innprudence: Hey, I think your stick might work now. He left the keys there.

Back at the throne room.

Merlin: (brings a hand to his cheek, eyes wide in shock and offended)

Uther: (with barely contained fury and hatred) Until you finally showed your real face, scum. Who do you think you are to speak to me like that? You are nothing but a serving boy!

Merlin: I'm much more than that.

Uther: (red with fury) How dare you? (shouts) You are speaking to your King!

Merlin: (shouts back) You are NOT my King! Arthur is. And he will be a better and more worthy king that you ever were.

Uther: (about to slap him again)

Merlin: (stops Uther's hand by holding his wrist midway) I don't think so.

Uther: (even more red with fury) You! Little- (brings a hand to his chest suddenly in pain)

Merlin: (all his boldness gone) Sire?

Uther: (twitches and falls to the ground)

Merlin: (in panic) Sire! (kneels and starts checking him frantic, but there is no response and thinks) Oh, Gods! OH GODS! I killed him. I killed the King! No, no, no, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen so soon! What have I done?! Am I mad? Why did I say all those things? I think I believed he was Uther's ghost for a second. Well, he is a ghost now... NO! He can't be dead! Arthur will be devasted! He can't be dead! Please, please, please, wake up!

Arthur: (opens the door with force and enters, frantic and worried) Merlin! (stares in shock at the scene before him)

Merlin: (looks up in panic and tears of desperation and guilt run down his eyes) Arthur, I-I don't what happened-I didn't-I didn't mean to. He was...and then I...I'm so sorry!

Arthur: (walks to Merlin in silence)

Merlin: (in more panic) I swear on my mother's life I didn't think this would happen. Arthur, please, belie-

Arthur: (kneels and hugs Merlin)

Merlin: ...

Arthur: (pulls away just enough so he looks at Merlin in the eye) Are you alright? He didn't do anything to you?

Merlin: (confused) Uhm... not really.

Arthur: (cups Merlin's face with one hand and hardens his features) He hit you.

Merlin: (getting out of his stupor) It's nothing. But, Arthur, your father! (points at Uther, alarmed)

Arthur: (gives Uther a glance in silence. Then stands up, pulling Merlin with him and calls out) Guards!

Guards: (enter)

Arthur: The King fainted. Bring the Court Physician inmediatly.

Guards: (worried) Yes, Sire (leave quickly)

Merlin: (thinking, a strange feeling in his guts) How... how is that the guards seemed more worried than Arthur himself?

...

Let's remeber this happened before the events of "To kill a King" and "La Morte d'Arthur", so no, Uther didn't die. But how did Merlin get away with insulting and almost killing the King? What did Arthur do? You can make your guesses in the comments ☺️

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo , @whitemaskcd

[blackstarlineage]

Why Black People Aren't Taken Seriously Globally: A Garveyite Perspective

Marcus Garvey’s teachings offer a powerful lens for understanding why Black people globally face challenges in being taken seriously or respected. His philosophy of Black nationalism and Pan-Africanism highlights systemic, cultural, and internal factors that have contributed to this struggle. Let’s break it down:

1. Lack of Unity: Garvey said it best: "A divided people are easily dominated." Without unity—whether due to tribalism, classism, or national divisions—the global Black community struggles to assert collective power.

2. Economic Dependency: Garvey emphasized that respect comes with economic independence. Black communities’ reliance on foreign systems and industries perpetuates cycles of exploitation and disrespect.

3. Colonial and Mental Enslavement: Centuries of slavery and colonialism didn’t just take land—they took minds. Many Black people still internalize inferiority, adopting Western standards over their own heritage.

4. Political Powerlessness: Without strong political sovereignty, Black nations and communities often end up subject to the whims of external powers. Garvey’s solution? "Africa for the Africans!"

5. Cultural Alienation: The erasure of African traditions through colonization leaves many disconnected from their roots. Reclaiming cultural pride is essential to earning global respect.

6. Scattered Identity: Black people globally lack a unified identity or voice. Garvey’s dream of Pan-Africanism sought to unite Africans and the diaspora under one banner.

7. Over-Reliance on Non-Black Leadership: Garvey criticized dependence on external leaders, emphasizing the need for Black-led solutions.

8. Propaganda and Negative Perceptions: Global media often perpetuates harmful stereotypes about Black people. Controlling our own narratives is key to countering this.

9. Weak Institutions: Without Black-owned banks, schools, or hospitals, dependence on external systems undermines the community’s autonomy.

10. Internal Resistance to Progress: Garvey noted that some resist self-improvement due to fear, ignorance, or complacency. This, he believed, holds the community back.

11. Western Cultural Dominance: The dominance of Western values marginalizes African contributions. Assimilating into these systems often comes at the expense of Black identity.

12. Educational Shortcomings: Garvey championed education in African history and achievements. A lack of this fosters ignorance and self-doubt.

13. Reparations Neglect: Failing to demand reparations for slavery and colonialism signals a lack of seriousness in addressing historical grievances.

14. Charity Over Infrastructure: Many African nations rely on foreign aid instead of building infrastructure, creating a cycle of dependency.

15. Exploitation by Foreign Powers: Africa’s wealth is drained by foreign exploitation. Regaining control of resources would shift global power dynamics.

16. Assimilation into Eurocentric Ideologies: Rejecting African traditions in favour of Eurocentric systems weakens collective pride and fosters division.

17. Poor Leadership: Garvey stressed the need for visionary leaders who prioritize collective progress over personal gain.

18. Passivity in Oppression: Accepting injustice without resistance only reinforces oppression. Bold, decisive action is required.

19. Loss of Spiritual and Moral Foundation: Materialism and individualism have replaced communal values. Garvey believed spirituality was central to empowerment.

20. Fragmented Diaspora: A weak connection between Africa and its diaspora prevents global solidarity and shared progress.

21. Neocolonial Borders: Artificial colonial borders foster division and conflict, undermining unity and progress.

22. Lack of Strategic Alliances: Garvey urged the Black community to form alliances with other oppressed groups to amplify their influence.

23. Complacency and Fear: Fear of change and comfort with familiar oppression prevent the risks necessary for progress.

24. Neglect of Garvey’s Vision: Without institutionalizing Garvey’s principles, the movement for unity, self-reliance, and African pride remains fragmented.

So What’s the solution?

The Honourable Marcus Garvey’s answer was clear: Unity, Economic independence, Reclaiming African identity and Building global solidarity.

The road to respect lies in pride, self-reliance, and unwavering determination. His vision remains a blueprint for global Black empowerment.

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – The Honourable Marcus Garvey

[tiredandoptimistic]

TSC Fandom Survey Results

The time has finally come for me to share my data! For those unaware, I've spent the past week running a survey in which people ranked TSC books, characters, and ships. In the end, 50 people filled out my survey, which is way more than I expected! About 23% of the people who looked at the survey filled it out, and everyone who started finished it.

First off I'll post the simple rankings from each category, and below the cut I'll show the more complex results with explanations for why people voted the way they did.

Best series: 1. The Infernal Devices 2. The Mortal Instruments 3. The Dark Artifices 4. The Last Hours 5. The Eldest Curses 6. The Wicked Powers 7. The Secret Treasons

Best main girl: 1. Tessa Gray 2. Clary Fairchild 3. Emma Carstairs 4. Cordelia Carstairs 5. Dru Blackthorn

Best main couple: 1. Will/Tessa/Jem 2. Will/Tessa 3. Clary/Jace 4. Jem/Tessa 5. Julian/Emma 6. James/Cordelia 7. Dru/Ash

Best side couple: 1. Magnus/Alec 2. Simon/Isabelle 3. Thomas/Alastair 4. Kit/Ty 5. Kieran/Mark/Cristina 6. Charlotte/Henry 7. Sophie/Gideon 8. Gabriel/Cecily 9. Helen/Aline 10. Grace/Christopher 11. Gwyn/Diana 12. Lucie/Jesse 13. Ari/Anna

Best side character: 1. Raphael Santiago 2. Lily Chen 3. Maia Roberts 4. Ragnor Fell 5. George Lovelace 6. Catarina Loss 7. Livvy Blackthorn 8. Jessamine Lovelace 9. Luke Graymark 10. Jocelyn Fairchild 11. Maryse Lightwood 12. Eugenia Lightwood 13. Jordan Kyle 14. Robert Lightwood 15. Jaime Rosales 16. Michael Wayland 17. Amatis Graymark 18. Camille Belcourt 19. Nate Gray 20. Charles Fairchild

Best younger sibling/child: 1. Max Lightwood-Bane 2. Rafael Lightwood-Bane 3. Mina Carstairs 4. Max Lightwood 5. Tavvy Blackthorn 6. Alex Lightwood 7. Zachary Carstairs

Best villain: 1. Sebastian Morgenstern 2. Valentine Morgenstern 3. Annabel Blackthorn 4. Malcolm Fade 5. Axel Mortmain 6. Asmodeus 7. Shinyun Jung 8. Benedict Lightwood 9. Tatiana Blackthorn 10. Belial

Best side book: 1. Tales From the Shadowhunter Academy 2. Ghosts of the Shadow Market 3. The Bane Chronicles 4. Secrets of Blackthorn Hall 5. An Illustrated History of Notable Shadowhunters and Denizens of Downworld 6. The Shadowhunter's Codex 7. Better in Black 8. A Sea Change

Huzzah! Putting this all together has been so much fun for me, and I want to quickly thank everybody who participated! I also want to remind everyone that this was just for fun, and no reason to get mad at anybody. We're obviously never gonna agree on everything, we just need to respect each other's opinions.

If you want to know the nitty gritty of how every character was ranked, how the different series measured up against each other across categories, and why people like or dislike various books and characters, then keep reading below the cut! I made a spreadsheet, please come gaze upon my beautiful spreadsheet.

Here we go, time for the real shit!

Be warned, you will probably read mean things about characters you love and nice things about characters you hate. Angry rants about how you can't believe anyone would think that way belong in DMs to your friends, not the notes of my post. I do welcome discussion, just nothing that's targeted at other people. Also, I will be doing my best to explain people's opinions, that doesn't mean that I agree with them. I'm just trying to document. If I'm sharing my genuine personal opinion on anything, I'll make that clear.

You'll be seeing screenshots from my big spreadsheet throughout this thing. Here's your key: Columns represent characters/ships/series, rows represent a ranking. Each cell shows how many people assigned that rank to that character (for example, the intersection of 3 and Sizzy will be the number of people who voted Sizzy as their second favorite side ship). At the bottom there will be the average rank this character received, which was calculated by the program I used for the survey. I have all the columns color coordinated by which series each character/ship belongs to, and each column will have one box outlined which shows the rank that character received most often (as in, the intersection of Sizzy and 3 is outlined because Sizzy got more #3 votes than #1 #2 #4 or #5). Some columns have multiple boxes outlined, in the case of ties.

Make sense?

Alright, let's go!

First off, it's everyone's favorite series. As you can see, TID was significantly ahead of all the others. TMI and TDA were neck and neck, frequently switching back and forth for that #2 spot. TLH was a bit lower than the other three, and TEC, TWP, and TST all ranked dramatically lower.

To explain why they liked TID, people talked about finding the series nostalgic, enjoying how the characters are woven into the plot, the historical setting, and how it expands the worldbuilding of TSC while still working as a contained story. People also mentioned enjoying specific characters like Will, Jessamine, and Gabriel. By far the most common comment though was just that people love Herongraystairs. The only negative comments came from people who said that they didn't find the concept interesting, and were disappointed by the lack of their favorite modern characters.

Talking about TMI, the most common positive comments were that the series was fun, nostalgic, and had the best cast of characters (specifically Alec, Magnus, and Simon). People also enjoy the modern setting, the interpersonal relationships (especially Malec), and how the world is seen to develop from where it was in the historical era. TMI has the fewest haters, but some people said that they just didn't find it as captivating as later series, or that they were put off by the incest plotline. I also received the criticism that the characters are annoying, and that the story could have been compressed into fewer books.

For TDA, a lot of people mentioned finding the characters relatable, enjoying the plot, and liking the Blackthorn family dynamic. The characters and ships who got specific shout-outs were Blackstairs, Kierarktina, and Mark. People also like the modern setting, found it to be emotional, and think that it effectively juggles a large cast of characters. Plus, people appreciate getting autistic representation from Ty. It has a solid number of detractors too, who say that they don't like Blackstairs (especially Julian), Thule, the Cohort, or the focus on Faerie politics. They also say that it has too many plotlines, takes itself too seriously, and that the last book (Queen of Air and Darkness) made them drop the series.

While TLH was ranked last of the main series, I'd like to point out that it has the same number of #1 votes as TDA, signaling that it has a similar number of intense fans. The difference really comes in with the lack of #2 or #3 votes, showing that people don't tend to be casual fans of the series. By far the most popular thing brought up by TLH enjoyers is the characters, and how they build an interconnected web with lots of fun dynamics (including developed family dynamics). People also like the number of queer and POC characters, the cozy vibe, the historical setting, the drama, and the ships (especially Herondaisy). The most common critiques all come back to the plot; that the main story is weak or even incoherent, and the series is stretched too thin across a number of side plots. People also dislike the lack of communication, and think that the characters don't feel like friends. Another complaint is that the world doesn't feel like a natural extension of TID, especially because the characters are so invested in mundane social structures like balls and reputations.

TEC is our first truly controversial series, and the main divide seems to be between people who think it's unnecessary fan service, and fans who feel serviced. The reasons I was given to like the series are the additional page time for Malec and the TMI gang, and that it fleshed out the TMI timeline. On the negative side, people say that it feels like a cash grab and that LBOTW didn't live up to the expectations set by RSOM. Overall though, the biggest reason that people ranked it so low was just that they hadn't read it.

Here's where we get into the series that were doomed to fail in the rankings because none of us have even read them. While TWP has a solid number of prospective fans ranking it in their top three, most people left it at the bottom because it hasn't come out yet. The people who expect to enjoy the series are the ones who enjoyed Dru, Kit, and Ty in TDA, and the ones who expect to dislike it are the ones who didn't enjoy those three in TDA.

So, TST was probably not fair to include in this list because I got a solid number of respondents who hadn't even heard of it, but I'm convinced that if it were ever to come out it would be in my top two series overall, and I want to see what the people think. While it didn't get anybody voting it #1 based on potential like TWP did, there were still some people saying that they would be excited to read it because of Waywood, the Luke/Jocelyn/Valentine drama, and the morally gray characters. On the other hand, there's the people who just don't care about the Circle and don't want to read about them.

For main girls, Tessa, Clary, and Emma were all pretty close in the average rankings. Cordelia and Dru fell a bit behind, but also had their share of committed fans.

When talking about Tessa, people brought up her intelligence, maturity, and their nostalgia for her character. They also like that she's a book lover, has cool powers, isn't annoying, starts out messy before maturing, and is strong-willed. By far though, the most common comment was that they found her relatable. The downside to this relatability is that her detractors say she feels like an obvious reader insert, and is overshadowed by more interesting characters like Will, Jem, and Jessamine.

Clary had the most positive comments, and people love that she's funny, creative, blunt, fearless, iconic, and handles all the bullshit the world throws at her. (My personal favorite comment was the person who called her "my beautiful unhinged princess"). More than anything though, people love Clary for her development. She starts out as a relatable 15-year-old, but over the course of six TMI books and all her later appearances, she grows into a hero. She's also of course incredibly nostalgic, since most TSC fans were introduced to the world by either her or Tessa. On the downside, people say that she works better as a side character than a protagonist, and that she's overshadowed by the rest of TMI. They also think that she made bad choices throughout the series, and find her annoying.

What people love about Emma is that she's strong, funny, complex, badass, and a bit of an asshole. They like that she's allowed to have an attitude and still be treated as a cool and compelling woman by the narrative and the other characters. Plus, she comes across as having a clear voice that makes her feel like somebody they could be friends with in real life. Most of the people with specific complaints about her either didn't like TDA overall, or thought she was treated as an extension of Julian who never fulfilled her individual potential. Some people also found her badass bad bitch persona to be more exhausting than endearing.

Cordelia is probably the most controversial character in this category, with long lists of both positive and negative traits given by the fandom. On the bright side, she's fierce, badass, kind, and relatable. People also like to see a woman of color thriving in 1903 London, and how she embodies the concept of a warrior. Looking to the negative, people largely just don't find her particularly engaging. They say that she's inconsistant, flat, and had no development after Chain of Gold. They also complained about her making bad decisions and having a weak relationship with Lucie.

Everybody had the least to say about Dru, and most people said that they ranked her last just because they don't know enough about her to like her more than the established characters. What her fans do enjoy is that she's relatable, blunt, sassy, and a fat goth girl who's giving 2015 tumblr emo. The only real complaint people had was that they found her annoying in TDA, but everyone who left comments like that also acknowledged that she was 13 in TDA and will probably be more engaging once TWP gives her time in the spotlight.

Moving into the main couples, TID continues to sweep as Herongraystairs takes the top spot (and came incredibly close to taking the entirety of the top three). After that, the couples are spaced out pretty equally and follow the same pattern established by the previous two categories.

Now, Herongraystairs received arguably the most bonkers majority in this entire survey. Nearly half of respondents ranked it as their #1, and only a couple outliers put it in their bottom three. What everybody loves about this ship is the angst, how willing they were to sacrifice for each other, the raw emotions, how perfectly the three balance each other, and the ideas about fate. They also like how all three of them are compelling characters on their own, have unique relationships in pairs (Wessa, Jessa, Heronstairs), and work even better as a complete unit. Will and Jem already loved each other, but they could only fully develop once they had Tessa; creating this tragic yet beautiful cloud of possibility. People also like the polyamorous aspect, and wish that they were a canon three way relationship. More than anything else though, what was commented again and again was simply "they loved each other so much." What else can you say? Well, I can say why a couple of people dislike the ship. The only reasons I was given was that the person didn't like TID overall, and that they prefer Jem and Will with a purely platonic parabatai bond.

Moving on to Wessa, people like their banter, the crazy build up to their relationship, and how they bonded over books. They also love how gutwrenching the relationship is, especially once you get to the epilogue of Clockwork Princess. The only complaint anybody had was that they aren't Herongraystairs, and the relationship is incomplete without Jem.

People of course love Clace for the nostalgia factor and how it's the relationship that introduced them to TSC, but most importantly people like how the two of them are just so horribly down bad for each other. They're cute, fun, and have good chemistry; forming the heart of the TMI gang and of the Shadowhunters world. What people don't like is that they're basic, getting overshadowed by other couples in their own series. The upside is that they get better in their appearances that came after TMI. There are of course also the people who don't like the incest plotline and felt uncomfortable reading about that era of their relationship.

Jessa was solidly in third for most of this survey, but Clace pulled ahead of them in the last day. Though they came in behind the other TID ships, they're still beloved by the fandom. People like their dynamic and enjoy Jem as a character. The downside is that the ship makes them sad because of the tragedy of their situation, doesn't include Will, and gets overused in the modern series.

As for Blackstairs, people see their relationship as beautiful, a good example of friends to lovers/forbidden romance, and worked in well with the plot of TDA. People also like the soulmate aspect. Their haters sure had a lot to say to counterbalance that though, and complained about how the relationship is melodramatic, overly intense, toxic, and codependant. I also got a few respondants who said that they just dislike Emma and Julian as individuals, and that Julian's behavior towards Emma is alarming.

Herondaisy is continuing TLH's grand tradition of coming in near the end while still maintaining a dedicated team of fans. The good stuff is how much James loved Cordelia, and that he spent so long unable to say anything, but once he was free from the Gracelet he never let her forget his devotion. Their love was powerful enough to break a hellish enchantment, but still felt like a friendship built on a shared interests like books and stories. The most common complaint about this relationship was miscommunication, dislike of James or Cordelia as characters, and not understanding why the two like each other (other than mutual attraction). There's also people who just don't like TLH and generally aren't invested in their story. The other main complaint was that the James/Grace and Cordelia/Matthew subplots felt unnecessary and overly drawn out (which of course connects back to the miscommunication issue).

Morgenthorn suffers from the same issue as the other TWP representatives, and largely got low marks because their books aren't out yet. Some people think they're shaping up to be iconic though, while others still aren't sold on the premise.

The side ships are where things start to really heat up. Based on their average rank, the pairs form a couple distinct tiers. First, is Malec, Sizzy, Thomastair, and Kitty (the fan favorites), next is Kierarktina, Chenry, Sophideon, and Gabrily making up the middle of the pack, then we have the less popular Haline, Gracetopher, Gwynburn, and Ghostwriter, and in dead last with by far the lowest score there's Arianna. (Sorry to the u-haul lesbians). I think it's quite interesting how most of the ships are clumped together with other ships from the same series.

I'm guessing we all knew that Malec was gonna come in first. People love the nostalgia factor, of course, and they also love how the ship is queer, iconic, and just generally sweet. It's a case of opposites attract where the two of them help each other grow and reach for things they never thought possible. Both Alec and Magnus believed that they'd never be truly loved for who they were, and yet together they were able to create a life and family. Not a single person had a bad thing to say about these two.

Continuing the popularity of the TMI gang, Sizzy came shockingly close to beating Malec for first. They didn't get as many #1 votes as the other top ships, but they were still voted highly by more or less everyone. On the surface this couple is cute and funny, but what people really love is how perfectly they match each other. While they look like opposites at first, they're actually incredibly well-balanced. Everyone expected Isabelle to break Simon's heart, but he's able to stand up to her without being a dick and he sees her for who she really is under all her defensiveness. Plus, they're great individual characters and encourage each other to grow. They only negative comment they got was one person who finds them annoying.

Next up, Thomastair comes in to prove that there are at least some parts of TLH that are pretty universally adored. People like how Thomas saw the good in Alastair from the start, and watching his schoolboy crush develop into a mature romance. They like how Thomas helped Alastair accept love into his life, and Alastair encouraged Thomas to become confident in himself. The two of them were able to create their own world in Paris, which allowed them to escape the roles they felt trapped in. The characters are of course loved as individuals, and people got especially attached to Alastair and think that he deserves good things. People also like their communication skills, in contrast with other TLH couples. The only real complains people had with the ship was that it's connected to a series they dislike overall, and falls into the bully x victim trope.

Kitty is another ship that anybody who spends any length of time in the fandom will not be surprised to see in the top quarter of this list. They're beloved as characters, and even people who dislike TDA say that they were some of the best stuff in it. Fans enjoy how Kit understood Ty from the start and Ty felt truly comfortable with Kit. They also like how Kit can't make amends with Ty but still keeps his secret (shout-out to the person who described them as being in "doomed yaoi purgatory"). People also say that they have great chemistry and a lot of potential. What people dislike is really just that they haven't had time to fully develop, since TWP hasn't actually come out yet.

The next top ship is Kierarktina, which is where we exit the "pure adoration" tier of this list. People like the characters and all their different dynamics, and think that there's a lot of potential for growth with them. They also like the fact that they're a canonically polyamorous ship. The complaints I got were that the relationship feels rushed, and that Cristina seems to fetishize Kieran and Mark's relationship.

Getting into the TID ships all nicely chunked together in the middle of this list, people like Chenry for their arranged marriage setup, where both of them love each other but saw their feelings as unrequited for years. They also like Charlotte and Henry's combined autistic swag. What makes people hesitate is their lack of pagetime.

For Sophideon, people of course love the individual characters, and especially appreciate how Gideon adores everything about Sophie. The only downside is how little of them we get on the page.

Gabrily came in lower than Sophideon but did receive more #1 votes and fewer #13 votes, proving that they have a higher number of committed fans despite being less popular overall. Those fans like how the two of them loved each other for what they were and always had each other's backs. Nobody had any negative comments about them.

Haline is another mid-tier ship that didn't get many comments. What I did hear is that people like how their struggles were worth it because they had each other, and ranked them low because of their lack of page time.

Gracetopher is probably the most controversial ship on this list. If we were just going off of who received the most #1 votes, they would be fifth overall (that order would be Malec, Kitty, Thomastair, Sizzy, Gracetopher). Unfortunately for them though, we are also factoring in all the people who ranked them dead last. As this form received more and more submissions, I watched this couple gradually climb from second-to-last to the dizzying height of fourth-to-last in the overall rankings. First off, what people like is how they truly see each other. Christopher was overlooked by his friends for his intensity and Grace was only ever treated as a weapon and a seductress, but they genuinely respect each other and bond over their shared enthusiasm for science. Looking at the negatives though, most people saw their dynamic as underdeveloped and unnecessary. Lots of people dislike Grace and don't believe that she should have received any redemption, and even people who are sympathetic towards Grace still dislike that Christopher was so quick to forgive her after how she treated one of his best friends. A few people also said that they like Grace and Christopher's dynamic when it's platonic, but ranked it low as a romance. People were also upset by Christopher's death, and feel that it ruins the relationship for them.

For Gwynburn, the only positive comment I got was a couple people saying they're cute, and the only negative one came from somebody who didn't like Diana because they felt she was an irresponsible guardian to the Blackthorn kids. Most people ranked them higher than the other ships at the bottom of this list, but unfortunately they just didn't have enough extremely high votes to pull them ahead.

Ghostwriter didn't get any specific positive propaganda, though some people clearly do enjoy them. Most of the negative sentiments came from people who just found them uninteresting and generally didn't enjoy TLH. They also see the pairing as having wasted potential, and felt frustrated by the lack of consequences for Jesse's resurrection. They saw Lucie as boring and dislike Jesse for his mistreatment of Grace.

Despite being ranked last, Arianna fans still came in to share what they liked about the couple. They enjoy the characters and Anna's butch swag, and some people who don't like them together still enjoy the concept. What people largely dislike about the two is Anna as a character, and how she treated Ari and all the other women she had flings with. While not everyone was ready to give up on them because of Anna's flaws, they were frustrated by how she didn't resolve her issues or try to be better by the end of the trilogy. There were also people who thought that the ship didn't get enough page time, or who didn't connect with Ari as a character. People were also disappointed in how Ari was punished by the narrative and by Anna for not being ready to come out of the closet when she was seventeen and dependent on her bigoted parents.

Oh boy, time to dig into the biggest category (which still feels incredibly cut down, my original list was over 50 characters). Side characters are obviously a point of hot debate, since everybody has their favorite guy who the narrative forgot about. The most popular overall characters were all old favorites introduced in TMI, then there's George, Catarina, Livvy, and Jessamine (who all swapped around a fair bit), before we get into a large chunk of characters who either inspire mixed feelings or get forgotten entirely, and bringing up the rear is two of the most hated characters in TSC.

First up, we have what I think is the biggest sweep of the whole survey; Raphael Santiago. He got about a third of the #1 votes, which isn't quite as dramatic a majority as Herongraystairs in their bracket, but far more impressive when you consider the sheer number of characters competing against Raphael for the top spot in this section. People think he's funny, iconic, and relatable. They love his sarcastic and grumpy sense of humor and his begrudging responsibility for the people around him. They also like his relationship with Magnus, as explored in "Saving Raphael Santiago" in The Bane Chronicles. The most common comment I got though was that people appreciate him being canonically aroace, and they remember him as their first experience seeing an aspec character in media. He received no negative comments (and few people left him out of their top ten).

Our second place goes to Lily, who got points for her iconic sense of humor, haunting backstory, and compelling relationships with both Alec and Raphael. She received no negative comments.

People like Maia but apparently don't have much to say about her. The only comments I got were that she's hot and a bad bitch, plus she overcame her difficult past.

Ragnor is appreciated how grouchy and melodramatic he is, and how he fits into the warlock friend group with Magnus and Catarina. I'd also like to shout-out his friendship with Raphael, since I love seeing them bond over their haterism. He received no negative comments.

George also didn't get many comments, but people grew attached to him very quickly and felt strongly affected by the tragedy of his death in TFSA, except for the person who said he felt like he got killed off for shock value.

People like Catarina's relationships with the other warlocks. I also want to point out her incredible selflessness and how she's even committed to helping people who hate her. She received no negative comments.

Livvy got the second most #1 votes after Raphael, and yet she's only #7 overall (ranked choice voting strikes again), and it looks to me like people either love her or don't care about her. What they love about her is the tragedy of her death and her relatable sense of responsibility towards her siblings, plus the continuation of her story in TWP. The only negative comment I got about her was from someone who didn't feel sad when she died.

Jessamine is seen as a fascinating and tragic character with a lot of potential depth who deserves more love. She got some low marks from her lack of page time though, and from people who found her attitude annoying.

Moving into some TST characters, Luke is noticeably higher than all the rest of his high school/fascist cult buddies. People like him for his dad vibes, and dislike him for his holier than thou attitude towards other members of the Circle. (Shout-out to my IRL friend who called him a DILF this morning).

Jocelyn didn't get many comments, and none that were positive. I'll chip in to say that I like how fierce and strong-willed she was when she decided to betray her abusive husband and raise Clary alone in NYC, and appreciate that she always tried to do what she thought would protect her daughter (even if it often wasn't actually what Clary wanted or needed). The people of the survey think she's a bad person and don't think that Clary should have forgiven her so easily for the way she lied to her. She moved up pretty far in the last day of this survey, but that was mostly due to other characters dropping in the rankings.

Maryse was behind Robert for most of the time this survey was gathering data, but her fans came in at the end to bump up her score. They like her relationships with her children, especially Jace and Alec, and are curious about her life before TMI when she had to deal with a loveless marriage and losing her brother to the mundane world. The only negative comment I received for her was someone who disliked how she treated Jace while he was being unfairly accused of working with Valentine.

While Eugenia is generally liked by TLH fans because she's funny, feisty, badass, and has a compelling relationship with Thomas; she scored fairly low overall because most people don't feel super attached to her due to her lack of page time.

The only positive comment I received about Jordan was that it was funny when he spent time with Jace and Simon. Mostly, people think that he was a toxic boyfriend to Maia and an awful person overall. They especially disliked that he and Maia got back together, even though he'd previously assaulted her after their breakup. Despite that, he's managed to make his way up from the bottom five of this list.

Robert is more controversial than his ex-wife, receiving more negative and more positive votes than her. People like his relationship with Michael as explored in "The Evil We Love," and how his personal issues with queerness bled into his relationship with his son. They enjoy both the angst of his difficult relationship with Alec, and the hopefulness that comes from his ability to grow as a person and try to be better for the sake of his kids. Folks who are less compelled by the angst just flat dislike him for his bad parenting. His ranking dropped dramatically in the last twelve hours, since I guess the people who can't forgive shitty parenting all showed up at the end.

People who like Jaime enjoy his attitude and see him as complex, and all the negative comments were about the age gap between him and Dru.

Michael is a character who seems to suffer from being nobody's favorite. No one had anything negative to say about him, but the only positive comments were in regards to his relationship with Robert, and the highest anybody ranked him was #4.

Amatis is somebody else who I believe suffered from not having any real fans. The only comment I got about her was that they ranked her low because they don't know much about her. The highest anybody ranked her was #6, and only one other character on this list has a highest rank that's lower than that. Nobody got mad at her like they did with Jordan or Jaime or Camille, but no one loves her like they love those three, so she ended up lower than them overall.

Camille got a fair number of high votes from people who enjoy her dramatic diva energy, and a lot of low ones from people who think she's just an awful person.

And here we have the first of the two most hated characters in this list. While he was dead last for almost an entire week, Nate finally managed to claw his way up to 19th place. Nobody had anything nice to say about him, and nobody ranked him higher than #7. I'll say that I find him interesting as an extension of Tessa's character and arc. People didn't have particularly complicated complaints, they just think that he's selfish, mean, awful, a traitor, a liar, an asshole, and completely irredeemable. Oof.

Even though he ended up in last place, Charles is distinct from the rest of the characters ranked this low because he actually does have a handful of fans who put him at #2 or #3. They think that he's an interesting character to study, even if he's an awful person. They also find his relationships with Alastair and Matthew to be compelling (though unhealthy) and relate to his place as an older sibling burdened by high expectations. As for the negatives, there's a whole laundry list. People see him as gross, annoying, selfish, awful, and boring. They hate his predatory relationship with Alastair in-universe, and which he was handled better by the author out of universe. I got one comment that said he felt like he was written by a straight woman, and in general people don't like how his arc was written.

Now that we're through with two of the largest and most controversial categories, let's move onto the one nobody cares about. I will admit that I included the children in this survey purely out of an interest in hearing if anybody had reasoning for preferring one small child over another.

Also, since we have two Max Lightwoods, I differentiated them using their middle inititals; Max M for Max Michael Lightwood-Bane, and Max J for Max Joseph Lightwood.

Okay, so what I have in the positive column for every single kid on this list is more or less just their association with their parents. People like the Lightwood-Bane siblings because they like Malec, they like Mina because of Jessa, Tavvy because of the TDA Blackthorns, Max J because of the TMI Lightwoods, Alex because of Gabrily, and Zachary because of Cordelia and Thomastair. Negative comments were also often linked to parents, like ranking Mina low because they dislike Jessa, or disliking the Lightwood-Banes because their existence feels like fanservice and they don't believe Alec would be a good father at age 20. Rafe did get the positive comment that his story in GotSM made the respondant cry.

Positive comments for Tavvy focused on people feeling like they know him better than other kids on this list, and being excited to see more of him and his relationship with Dru in TWP.

Max J got comments talking about how much more character he has compared to the babies, and how the tragic end to his story strongly affeced people. People got attached to him from his love of manga, and appreciate how he symbolized the innocence that Alec, Isabelle, and Jace needed to fight for.

Alex and Zachary were ranked last by almost everyone, though they all made it clear that they bear no ill will towards these kids. Zachary did get one committed fan who loves the way he brings Alastair's arc to a close, and is excited to see more of him on Thomastair's BiB story. I think it's noteworthy that they have the same number of #1 votes, Zachary got more #2 and #3 votes, and Alex got more #4 and #5 votes; showing that once you discount the people placing them in the bottom two, Zachary is in fact more popular. (I'm assuming that most people who put them in the bottom two don't actually prefer one over the other).

The villain category was particulary interesting to me, because reading everyone's comments made it clear that many of us are working off of different definitions of what makes a good villain. The biggest question was whether a character being sympathetic made people see them as a great villain or a terrible one. The other cool thing about this category is you can see that almost all the villains from the same series stayed next to each other in the ranking.

For as high as Sebastian ranked, he got relatively few comments. What people do like about him is that he was more relatable and redeemable than other villains because of how Valentine raised him, and yet he still went on to do unjustifiable things. They also think he was funny. The main complaint he got from several people was that the demon blood storyline made him a boring and badly constructed villain, since he had no free will in his own evilness. Also, y'know, the incest thing.

Valentine may not be ranked as highly as his son, but he did get far more specific compliments from people. They love to hate how logical, strategic, and pure evil he could be; as well as the way the story built up to him by showing the impact he had on the world. He was a skilled manipulator who convinced people to sacrifice everything in the name of his twisted values, and worked as a chillingly accurate representation of fascism. He also served the greater themes of TMI by allowing the leads to deny the violence and hatred passed down by their parents. Some people also just enjoy the Circle era characters. The only bad thing anyone said about him was that he's generic, one of a million bigoted middle aged white men in fiction.

Annabel and Malcom switched back and forth in the rankings a couple times while data was being gathered, since most people voted for the two of them as a unit. People like how tragic their storyline was, and how they served as foiled to Blackstairs because they too were people who loved each other enough to burn down the world. Ultimately, it was their sympathetic anti-Clave motivation that got most people to love them. The two points people held against them was that they're too sympathetic and thus not really villains, and that Annabel's potential was wasted in Queen of Air and Darkness. The folks who dislike TDA also dislike them on account of their association with the series.

Mortmain is our solidly mid tier villain. People across the board saw him as a simple pure evil force that the heroes had to win against, and the main question was whether people loved him or hated him for that simplicity.

The only reason anybody gave for enjoying Asmodeus was his association with Alec. The few negative comments he got were all about either his lack of page time or how his motivation being centered on his inherent evil made him uninteresting.

Shinyun is a more complicated character, and her reception was complicated as well. People like that she's associated with Alec through TEC, and that she showed how evil she was by rejecting redemption when it was offered to her. There were also some mixed feelings expressed about her place as a cult survivor, since that's a very human trauma that was not given enough dignity by the narrative. Negative opinions all came down to her lack of page time, and people who either never read or actively disliked TEC.

Benedict Lightwood might be the lowest anything from TID scored in this entire survey. People who enjoy him mentioned how he created realistic angst for Gideon and Gabriel, as a manipulative father they needed to learn to rebel against. What people think makes him a bad villain is that he's not a villain at all, just a generic shitty dad. Also, multiple people commented "worm" with no explanation.

Sadly for the villains of TLH, this isn't the way they were supposed to be the worst of the worst. While some people enjoyed Tatiana for her chaos and irredeemability, especially the way she abused her own daughter for years, overall she was seen as a boring letdown who could have been interesting if the narrative didn't treat her as pure evil. Maybe she could have had potential if she was allowed to be the main villain or if the story acknowledged the ways in which she felt abanoned by the Clave, but that's not the story we got.

As for Belial, nobody had anything positive to say about him. They thought that his plan was stupid (especially for a Prince of Hell), and that he was boring, annoying, and just generally underwhelming. He also received the same complaints as Asmodeus about how demons are uniniteresting villains because their only motive is their own inherent evil.

And here was have our final category: the side books! It's no surprise to me that the short story collections came in first, and that the unreleased books don't have a lot of fans yet.

Our most popular pick was Tales From the Shadowhunter Academy, which people love because of how it followed up on TMI storylines while also expanding upon the world. It gave readers a look into characters they enjoy like Alec, Mark, and James, and of course the most popular comment I got was people gushing about getting time with Simon. They love the Sizzy moments too, as well as Simon's friendship with Clary and the rest of the TMI gang. It also got points for George's heartbreaking death, and for how much fun it was to read when it was serialized in 2015. The two stories people mentioned as their favorites were "The Evil We Love" and "Nothing But Shadows," showing how people enjoyed getting to look at points in the TSC timeline that aren't explored by other series. The only negative comment it got was from a person who finds Simon and Isabelle annoying.

Coming in at a close second, Ghosts of the Shadow Market is beloved mainly for its connection to Jem and Jessa. People enjoy that it served a purpose in the overall TSC plot, and showed how love can be born of tragedy. The stories people brought up were "Every Exquisite Thing," "The Land I Lost," and especially "Cast Long Shadows." It received no negative comments.

While The Bane Chronicles was the least favorite of the anthologies, it still clearly won the love of the people. They enjoy it mainly on account of Magnus, especially for his friendship with the other warlocks and his romance with Alec. They like how funny it is, and feel like it has the same charm as the early TMI books. The only negative comment I got about it was that it's boring.

Secrets of Blackthorn Hall got points for the wholesome and iconic vibes, and the interesting format of being published through tumblr. Someone also described it as a home renovation show in a haunted house, and people brought up being glad to see characters like Mark and Mina and ships like Kitty and Blackstairs. Some people just didn't find it interesting though, and others disliked it because it had so much Julian and Blackstairs.

An Illustrated History of Notable Shadowhunters and Denizens of Downworld probably got the fewest comments in this category. The people who love it appreciate the stunning art and interesting details about the characters, and all the low votes came from people who haven't read it.

The Shadowhunter's Codex is the oldest companion book on this list, and clearly didn't hit like the later additions to the canon. The only positive comments I got were from people who enjoyed Simon, Clary, and Jace's comments written into the margins. Generally people just didn't find it interesting, and saw it as a textbook that didn't even provide new information about the the world of Shadowhunters. There were also people who either didn't read it or couldn't finish it.

Better in Black of course hasn't been released, but people are excited to see their favorite couples back in action. In this survey, I got specific comments from people talking about Herondaisy and Thomastair. It still ranked pretty low overall, mainly because none of us have read it yet.

A Sea Change was most people's bottom pick, just because it isn't out yet. (My theory is that it ranked lower than BiB because BiB got everyone hyped through fandom engagement when we all debated which couples would be included, and that BiB appeals to fans of ten different ships while ASC only has fuel for Matthew fans). Predictably, the people who expect to love ASC are the ones excited to see the next chapter of Matthew's journey.

And with that, we're done! I'd like to once again thank everybody who participated, especially the folks who gave long or detailed comments. I had to simplify and summarize a lot in this post, but I truly enjoyed reading everything you all had to say.

I also want to take some time at the end here to address some questions I got about why stuff in this poll was set up the way it was. First, I got a lot of people saying that Kitty should have been considered a main couple, either in addition to Morgenthorn or instead of them. I get that we (so far) have a lot more Kitty material and that most of the fanbase is far more invested in them, but I'm counting the "main couple" as the one that includes the main girl. I also got some people confused by my choice to include unpublished works like TWP and Seasons of Shadowhunters, and while I understand that perspective I still stand by my decision. I know it's not fair to the series and that people can't accurately rate things they haven't read, but I wasn't trying for that kind of accuracy; I was curious about how much people love or hate things that aren't out yet. I'd love to see how TWP and SoS factor into these rankings once we've all read them, but for now I'm happy just hearing what people expect to think about them.

Also, everyone who left random silly comments or told me their favorite characters and scenes, y'all are the real ones. I did this whole project out of my love for this series and my interest in learning why people think the way they do, and I've been amazed by the positive response. This series and world is so incredibly expansive, and I love that all of us are able to find the different niches of TSC that make us happy.

If you actually read through all this, you're awesome and thanks for supporting my passion for turning emotions into numbers. If anybody has any additional questions, I am here to chat!

Taglist:

@edwinspaynes @helenofblackthorns @whaliensdream @iovelaces @darcyolsson @sankta-wraith @magnus-the-maqnificent @blue-silver-hammer @ineedmoremalec @kingslayerzzzz @thevagabondexpress @cara0765 @uncertified-shadowhunter-14 @elytrianemrald @thomasslightwood @starrieshq @blackthornobsessed @alastaircarstairsismybff @angeldaisies @dissapointmentsrus @bananacakepie

[tgmsunmontue]

Season to Taste - 42/42

Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another.

PROLOGUE/1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (interlude) 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (interlude) 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 (interlude) 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 (interlude) 41

CHAPTER FORTYTWO

                “I don’t care about the weather ruining the day Maria. As long as Leo and I am married then I consider the day a success. Mission accomplished.”

                Jake is quite frankly sick of talking about nothing but the wedding. Reassuring his sisters, Silvia, and Vi that he doesn’t care if they end up getting married in a fucking barn. However, he guesses he should have listened and answered some of their questions more clearly, because it’s come back and bit him on the ass. Or come home to roost as Phoenix has gleefully pointed out.

                “I’m not spending the night before our wedding day apart. We spend too many of our days and nights apart as it it…”

                “It’s bad luck!”

                “It’s bullshit is what it is. We’re doing this together and this is just… making it very very public.”

                He doesn’t care about the photographers and cameras that will be there, he cares that Leo will be there, and as if summoned by mere thought he’s there and Jake reaches for him.

                “Come here…” Leo says, and he’s wrapping his arms around Jake’s waist, nuzzling into the crook of Jake’s neck and Jake knows exactly what he’s doing, which is distracting him and calming him down all at once. “Jake’s right, I already talked to Olivia and Nicola. We aren’t spending the night apart beforehand.”

                “Fine,” Maria huffs, and she stalks off and Jake lets himself slump again Leo a little, because of course his sisters will respect what Leo wants but try and browbeat Jake, despite it being his fucking wedding.

                “Just a couple more days and it’ll all be over and we’ll be on a beach lying in the sun…”

                “Yeah. You in nothing but a swimsuit for an entire two weeks. Definitely looking forward to that…”

                “Who says I need a swimsuit? It’s a private beach.”

                “Ugh. Killing me…”

                “What a way to go,” Leo says with a laugh and Jake laughs with him.

…            …            …

                The rehearsal and dinner go off without any problem, and it’s loud and chaotic and Jake is so glad his Italian is as good as it is, because he understands what everyone is saying. Mostly. Because he’s the asshole Jake knows and loves, Leo has taken to switching to French whenever he doesn’t want Jake to know what he’s talking about, which Vi, Leandro and Silvia all speak perfectly fluently as well.

                They’ve just finished practicing their first dance, led by Jake seeing as he actually had to learn when he was at USNA, and Jake shakes his head as Leo starts a rapid fire conversation in French and Jake pulls a face and rolls his eyes, catches Leo’s quick glance and pokes his tongue out. He gets a quick kiss pressed to his cheek, later murmured in his ear and he shakes his head and decides to go and annoy Leo’s other parental figures.

                Maverick is standing beside Admiral call me Tom Kazansky, and they’re both looking emotional, but then again it seems par for the course recently, everyone’s emotions close to the surface. They’re having the ceremony as early in the day as possible to allow for the hope that his mom will be less confused, but he’s also prepared himself for the scenario where she simply cannot attend.

                “Maverick. Admiral.”

                Admiral Kazansky lets out a tired sigh, he finally seems to have given up trying to get Jake to call him anything less formal, and Maverick also seems to get a kick out of it. He wonders when Admiral Kazansky will click that Jake is now doing it more to be a bit of an ass than anything else.

                “Hangman… you. The. Uh. The dance song. Did… you choose that?”

                “No. Leo wanted it.”

                “Oh…”

                “What?”

                “Did Bradley tell you why he wanted that song?”

                Jake hears Maverick’s voice crack, then the cough to clear it.

                “No. He didn’t…” he’s about to ask why it’s significant, but like Leo has pointed out, he’s smart about the important stuff. He knows without asking that this song was part of Leo’s parents’ wedding ceremony in some way, maybe their first dance song as well. Sneaky asshole.

                “Excuse me Mav, Admiral. I need to go and talk to someone…”

…            …            …

                Bradley wakes up with Jake pressed along his back. In deference to the fact that it was the night before their wedding they had let themselves be booked into a little boutique hotel. Vi told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t going to be cooking the morning of his wedding when he’d moaned about there not being a kitchen. He turns in the bed to face Jake, kisses him slowly and sweetly to wake him, grins against the answering smile he feels appear.

                “Morning.”

                “Morning.”

                They keep kissing, fingers trailing over bare skin and Bradley wonders if they’re going to have time for anything before they’re meant to be up. It’s still early though, and they’d definitely made time last night, leaving early despite the catcalls. Jake had seemed a little preoccupied but happy, and Bradley’s pretty sure he could have been described the same way.

                “Happy wedding day…”

                “Yeah… going to make it happier?”

                “Of course,” Bradley laughs, licking over Jake’s collar bone and inhaling deeply, smelling the peppermint-rosemary-green-tea of his own body wash that Jake now exclusively uses, regardless of whether he’s deployed or at home and it reminds him of what he got made. “Wait, wait… I got you something…”

                “You got me a present?” Jake asks, pulling back to judge him, one eyebrow going up and Bradley can’t help smirking, feeling smug. Because he has, but it’s not just for Jake. Neither is the other little surprise he has planned. “You… of course you did. What did you make me this time?”

                “I didn’t make anything. I had an idea and got in touch with the company and… well. Here. Open it.”

                He hands the bottle over. It’s the same brand of body wash that Bradley has been using for years; sent to him to try out for free years ago, and to feature on one of the shows. The particular scent of peppermint-rosemary-green-tea had touted itself as reducing stress, and Vi had told him he needed it. Now it reminds him of a lot more, so many moments with Jake. However he misses the citrus undertone of Jake’s old bodywash, smelling that sharp sweetness mixed with the mint and he watches as Jake flips the lid open.

                “It smells…” Jake frowns. “It’s like you’ve mixed your body wash with my old one…”

                “Yeah. Probably a bit more complicated than that, but that’s pretty much what I asked them to do,” Bradley says, and he goes back to placing a trail of kisses up Jake’s neck, the smell of the open bottle tickling his nose and he knows this moment is going to be a new scent memory and he breathes in deep.

                “You… got us a bespoke body wash?”

                “Yeah. Want to go try it out?” Bradley asks, pulling back to grin at him.

                “Oh… yeah. Fuck yeah.”

                They keep kissing as the shower warms up; he hasn’t had a chance to look at the time, but at least he and Jake don’t have hair and make-up to worry about. It feels early enough. Phoenix and Vi both had muttered about unreasonably early starts, and Jake’s sisters are also getting everything done. He’s glad he only has to worry about shaving and doing his hair, knows Vi will have opinions regardless. Does even when there is a team of makeup and hair artists working on him.

                Jake is grabbing supplies from his toiletry bag, grumbling under his breath about having to stay away from home the night before his own wedding and Bradley laughs, catching his mouth in a kiss as he takes the lube from Jake’s fingers, wants Jake’s hands on him instead. They don’t have infinite time; he knows Vi won’t hesitate in barging in if they don’t keep to the timeline she’d pressed into their hands two days ago. Fortunately, he’s pretty sure this won’t take long.

                After years together they know each other’s bodies intimately, how to get each other off as quickly as possible, and how to drag it out and make it really good. Jake has treated it like a job to learn all of Bradley’s little quirks, ones he himself didn’t know he had, and he loves Jake more every day for it. He pushes his ass against Jake’s cock, lets his head tip back so Jake can lick at his neck.

                “Can’t wait to marry you…” Jake murmurs, and his fingers are already slippery with lube, slipping between his ass cheeks and Bradley lets his eyes fall closed and just relax into the sensation. “Getting to call you my husband.” He’s still a little loose from last night, when he’d insisted on Jake fucking him just in case they slept in today or ran out of time. He should have known that wasn’t going to happen, not with how early Jake rises, but still.

                “Yeah…” Bradley murmurs, because it’s the same for him. They’ve had quiet conversations in the dark and feel the same about so many things, fingers tracing over ring fingers and pulse points. And right now pressing lube into him.

                “You want me to wear a condom? Or you want to have my come dripping out of you all day?”

                “Jesus Jake…”

                “Or I could just pull out and come all over your ass…”

                “Yeah. Yeah. That…” Bradley breathes, because he also doesn’t want Jake to leave him to go and hunt out a condom. He groans then, breath catching as Jake just slides into him. It’s tight, just the way he likes, the fine line between pleasure-pain as Jake presses into him, fingers of one hand digging into his hip, the other wrapped around Bradley’s cock, not yet doing anything other than hold him proprietarily. His mouth and teeth are on Bradley’s neck and shoulders, stubble scraping against skin already sensitive from last night.

                He braces his forearms against the wall, spreads his legs further apart and pushes back, a little gasp escaping as Jake pulls out a little and then fucks straight back into him sharply. Jake’s groans make his own cock jerk and that’s what get Jake’s hand moving, a rhythm he’s perfected while he fucks Bradley. He mixes it up depending on what he’s aiming for; and Bradley knows better than to reach down and touch himself. Jake will tell him if he’s allowed, has never failed to make it good for him. Sometimes turning him around and dropping to his knees and sucking Bradley down until he can’t take it anymore or dragging it out and edging him for fucking days; the resulting orgasm bringing him to tears and scream-sobs of pleasure.

                He can count the number of times he’s fucked Jake on one hand. Past the first time he’s never felt the urge, more than content to have Jake’s body covering him, holding him, pressing into him. The few times Jake has asked, and Bradley uses the term ask very loosely, it’s been intense, sure Jake was going to shake apart, certain he was going to halt Bradley in the act. The most recent time had been about ten weeks post mission, and Bradley is fairly certain Jake was trying to chase away the fact that he had almost died by reaffirming their own connection.

                “Leo… you with me?”

                The hand on his cock is tight, Jake grinding up against him and Bradley’s attention snaps back to the present, the realization that this is the last time they’re having sex as un-married men and he lets out a little half-hysterical breath and nods, his breath coming in hot hard pants, mixing with the steam from the water.

                “Jake… yeah… yeah… come on…”

                “Fuck I love you…”

                Bradley laughs again, because Jake sounds almost angry about it as his hips slap against Bradley’s ass, then he’s shifting slightly. Bradley swears under his breath, the head of Jake’s cock now incessantly pushing, dragging over Bradley’s prostate with every thrust of Jake’s hips. The hand on his cock has sped up and his entire body is lighting up with all-over shiver-tingles, nerve endings all alive and he groans, so close to coming, his gut and balls tight with anticipation. He’s repeating Jake’s name over and over like a mantra, then the fingers digging into his hip are gone, and he knows Jake is jerking himself off frantically. Feels the hot splatter of come on his lower back, Jake’s teeth in his shoulder, his groan vibrating against his back and he lets out a whine.

                Then Jake’s kissing what is undoubtedly going to be a bite mark, and there are fingers pressing back inside him, seeking with practiced precision and –

                “Jesus fucking Christ Jake…”

                “Yeah… come on. You can come for me now…”

                He shudders apart at the request-command, Jake’s hand working his cock and fingers inside him and he knows when his knees go from beneath him Jake will be there to catch him.

…            …            …

                “Oh for fucks sake… you’ve both got beard burn. This is why you should have spent the night apart…”

                “Pretty sure you don’t want us fucking each other in the aisle…”

                “You wouldn’t.”

                “You willing to risk it?” Jake asks and Bradley snorts in amusement.

                Vi rolls her eyes and scoffs, and she looks stunning in her burnt-orange off-the-shoulder dress, dark curls pinned artfully on top of her head.

                “You look beautiful…”

                “Grazie. Vorrei poter dire lo stesso…”

                “Fuck you too…” Bradley says with a laugh and Jake is laughing as well and he’s so glad that Jake can understand Italian now.

                “He’s plenty beautiful,” Jake murmurs, giving him a wink and Bradley knows he’s blushing, can’t hide how Jake makes him feel even if he wanted to.

                “Ugh. I can’t even with you two. Not on your wedding day. Here. I got you both something…”

                Then she’s shoving little boxes at them and Bradley takes it with curiosity.

                “You got us…”

                “Cufflinks… oh my god. It’s… are they F-18s?” Jake asks, and of course he’s already well ahead of Bradley, opened his and looking at them closely with a wide grin on his face. Bradley snaps his little box open and stares at the tiny golden whisk and knife crossed over each other.

                “Grazie Vi…”

                “Mmm. Now do something sappy like swap one with each other and there, you’ve got something new and something borrowed…”

                Jake mumbles under his breath about superstitious bullshit, but his fingers work effortlessly to remove Bradley’s plain cufflinks and replace them with one each of their new pairs, before he places a kiss on the side of face and he turns his head to capture his mouth in a proper kiss, although not a long one because he doesn’t trust Vi to not kick them both in the shin.

                “Right. You now both look… ready to get married. Jake, Javy is waiting for you downstairs. We’re doing the illusion of you seeing each other for the first time. Try and look like you’re in love… oh… huh. You won’t have a problem.”

                “I’d hope not.”

…            …            …

                It’s obviously not the first time he’s seen Leo today, but it is the first time they’ve locked eyes with the intention, knowing they’re walking toward each other. Their aisle song had been some song that both he and Leo had agreed on, from a list made by Maria, but played by a string quartet; it had sounded good. Fine. Neither of them had had an opinion. Until last night when he’d pivoted and likely caused Maria and the string quartet more stress. However this is better, an instrumental version of the same song that Bradley had asked for as their first dance song.

                As the music starts playing he pauses and waits, wonders if Leo will notice the change, and he does. Jake is watching him closely enough as they walk toward one another that he catches the falter in his step as he notices the tune, his mouth dropping open slightly as he registers. Then his lips go flat and Jake can see the trembling of Leo’s chin and fuck, he’s crying, but okay, no, he’s also smiling, a little shaky, but Jake knows he’s done a good job as they get closer.

                They’re both in dark blue, bespoke suits he has no idea when he’ll wear it again. However he doesn’t care, because Leo looks stunningly gorgeous and happy as he walks toward Jake. Then they’re standing face to face and he reaches for Leo’s hands, brings them up and presses a kiss to the knuckles of each hand.

                “You asshole…” Leo breathes and it just makes Jake grin wider, because his words might be saying one thing, but his eyes, the look on his face, they say something completely different.

                “You could have told me…” Jake says under his breath.

                “I… I didn’t want to say anything. How did you… Did someone tell you?”

                “I figured it out…”

                “Smart…”

                “Mmm. I mean. Maverick was sort of emotional about the song choice, so I did have a hint that maybe the song was more important than you let on…”

                “I didn’t want to make you have a song you didn’t like…”

                Jake rolls his eyes and shakes his head minutely, because they’ve gone over this before but he’s suddenly aware that they’re having this conversation in the aisle of their wedding and everyone is waiting on them, and Leo seems to have the same realization.

                “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

                “I love you. Ready to get hitched?”

                “More than ready.”

…            …            …

                Apart from the little stolen moments everything seems to blur, but he tries to set in amber the moments he wants to really remember. Seeing Leo for the first time, linking fingers as they turned to walk down the aisle together, the officiant welcoming everyone, Vi doing a reading and speaking about having a front row seat to their developing relationship.

                His mom as she sits beside his dad, it isn’t a good or great day for her, she’s a little confused but she knows what a wedding is and recognizes Leo; has had time to watch the small collection of videos so she knows she’s a guest of honor. It’s enough, and the fact that she’s here at all is something he’s grateful for, the earlier hour of the ceremony meaning she won’t be as tired, and then the lunch celebrations which are just going to roll into an all-night party.

                As they read their vows with shiny-wet eyes he knows that someone is translating them into Italian for over half the guests, little headphones pressed to ears so they can follow what is being said. Then he’s taking rings from Javy and holding Leo’s hand in his, the officiant looking between them.

                “Jake, repeat after me. I take you, Leonardo Bradley Bradshaw Gallo…”

                There’s a sob from the crowd and Jake turns, notes that Leo does as well. Sitting beside Admiral Kazansky and Maverick, Leandro has gone pale, is now crying along with Silvia and okay, Jake’s clearly not the only one in the dark with this little surprise and he turns to Leo and shakes his head a little. Asshole he mouths and he didn’t think Leo could look happier, but his grin widens, eyes glint with mischief and Jake’s entire life feels perfect.

                “I take you Leonardo Bradley Bradshaw Gallo,” he repeats dutifully.

                “To be my lawfully wedded husband.”

                “To be my lawfully wedded husband.”

…            …            …

                He doesn’t have a chance to bring it up, there are so many people. It’s family, and the Dagger squad, and Jake did not expect for there to be so many brass at his wedding. The fact that they’re there as Leo’s side of the family is wild, and he wonders if this is what it would be like marrying into some type of royalty. There’s so many photographers he knows he’s going to be so grateful for them capturing lots of moments he will either forget or simply won’t get to see. Lincoln dumping the rose petals in a single move by overturning the basket. Lincoln’s younger sister then sitting down and picking them all up and placing them back into her basket. Little anecdotes he’s heard from his sisters throughout the day.

                He never thought about his wedding day, but he can’t imagine it getting better than this. The small details don’t matter, it’s the big things, like the happiness and love he just feels surrounded by. The combination of English and Italian which all just blur together now.

                The food is of course plentiful and amazing, and Jake isn’t sure, but he thinks they may have shut the restaurants down for a week and pulled all the staff here. And because his husband loves him there are little bottles of sauce on every table; every single member of the Dagger squad finds him to give him shit about it personally, however they also congratulate him and Leo. The number of admirals who have congratulated him has started to make him sweat, a little panicky because while no one is in uniform they’re still admirals.

                Clearly Leo picks up on something because he drags Jake off to the house, has clearly given instructions that they’re not to be interrupted and Leo drops to his knees and sucks him off to distract him, not wasting any time and not wanting any type of reciprocation because he likes drawing out his own arousal. That’ll be fun for both of them later. He’s fucking perfect for him.

                “Fuck, getting too old for that. Need a cushion for my knees.”

                “Serves you right…” Jake mutters, although he already has plans for them to have a bath together later. Relax and sleep. First though, he has a bone to pick now that they have a moment alone and he’s not getting a blowjob. “You changed your name.”

                “Well, figured I’d be changing it anyway. So might as well go the whole way. Make it a five-barrel abomination…”

                “You ever thought of double-barreling the last name Gallo and Seresin?”

                “Uh… no.”

                “Well. Maybe we should talk about that. And if I had Gallo as well maybe Hangman would get a different meaning…”

                “Yeah? You’d want that?”

                “Well, pretty sure my reputation as a complete asshole is completely shot to hell after today…”

                “Yeah, it was definitely today that did it,” Leo says with a grin and Jake shoves him playfully, aware that he probably has a point. He’s always made it known that he had a soft spot for his family and boyfriend. Husband.

                “Come on, we’re meant to be the guests of honor.”

                “I wasn’t the one that needed to be distracted.”

                “I thought all that was because you can’t keep your hands off me.”

                “Mmm. True. Just a happy coincidence that it also distracted you then…”

                “So happy…” Jake says, and he knows Leo understands him without spelling it out any further.

…            …            …

                Despite their years together they’ve never managed to spend time in Italy together. It was something they had both agreed on immediately, a ten-day honeymoon in Italy. Private house, private beach. Big kitchen. Pool. No need to wear clothes, maybe just an apron when he’s cooking, which he knows Jake loves. It reminds him a little of their first chunk of time they spent together, when they’d both been circling around each other uncertain about what they were doing. He’s so glad he trusted his gut all those years ago.

                Right now Jake’s swimming laps, his wry comment about how if he’s going to be doing nothing but eat Bradley’s food for ten days he needs to ensure he’s still fit enough to work. Bradley had simply said it sounded like a him problem, that he’d be in the kitchen. He’s made fresh pasta for later, as well as some dough for bread rolls. He’s not meant to be working on a new book, but he finds himself scribbling down some ideas anyway, startles a little when he feels a much cooler body press up against his bare back.

                “Hey…”

                “Hi. Mmm. Smells good.”

                “I haven’t even made anything…”

                “Wasn’t talking about food…” Bradley laughs, twists around so he can get a proper kiss, feels Jake’s arm go around his waist. “Why do people write that?”

                “Write what?” Bradley asks, not quite sure what Jake is talking about, then sees Jake’s hand pressing his scrappy notebook open.

                “Season to taste… surely people are going to do that anyway right?”

                Bradley laughs, turns around so he can kiss him more easily.

                “Yeah. You’d think so. But some people are sticklers for following a recipe. So it’s like a little addendum. Season to taste… make it perfect for how you want it.”

                “Huh. So that’s what I’ve been doing all along with my ketchup then?”

                Bradley opens his mouth to argue, closes it again.

                Jake has a point.

                An annoying one.

                He’s lucky Bradley loves him.

                “Yeah. You’ve been making it perfect all along.”

--- THE END ---

Their aisle song - instrumental of their first dance song.

Thanks for coming on the journey with me. It's posting on AO3 if you want to go and bookmark it, or re-read it with chapters going up Mon-Wed-Thurs.

I've also got two one-shots planned, which is why I have made it a series on AO3, so feel free to subscribe to the series there if you want to be notified of those updates. 👌

🌻🌻🌻

[milaalkhansah]

100 hal yang aku pelajari di 2024

1. Nggak ada orang lain yang lebih penting dalam hidup seseorang kecuali dirinya sendiri. Berhenti merasa spesial.

2. Berhenti berteman dengan seseorang yang menganggapmu saingan, bukan seseorang yang bersedia untuk diajak tumbuh dan berkembang bersama-sama.

3. Tidak ada seorang pun yang bertanggungjawab untuk membahagiakan dan memperjuangkan hidupmu selain dirimu sendiri. Semua orang sibuk dengan hidupnya masing-masing.

4. Mengubah hidup terkadang sesederhana mengubah pola pikir.

5. Satu-satunya waktu yang kita punya adalah saat ini. Later or tomorrow isn't a promise.

6. Everything takes time. So be patient for what we have been trying and wishing for.

7. Kebanyakan orang seringkali hanya ingin mendengar apa yang mereka percayai, bukan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi.

8. Tidak perlu menjelaskan sesuatu. Orang-orang yang mengerti tidak membutuhkannya, dan orang-orang yang membenci tidak akan mendengarkannya.

9. Hidup tidak akan berubah kalau bukan diri sendiri yang memulai untuk mengubahnya.

10. You vs you. Not others.

11. You deserve better.

12. Tidak ada kezaliman dalam takdir Allah bila kita beriman.

13. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Baik dan cuman bisa berbuat baik. Jaga terus prasangka baik kita kepada-Nya.

14. Done is better than perfect.

15. Nobody can understand me better than Allah and myself.

16. Reality is what happens. Not what i think will happen.

17. Dream isn't what I'm thinking of, but what i create, build, and fight for.

18. if i don't wake up to pray qiyam, then i don't want it enough.

19. In order to make people understand i have to talk

20. My family needs 'thanks, ask, and sorry' from me too.

21. There's no benefit for anyone to know what i have done or what my kindness is.

22. Less is more.

23. World doesn't end just because i miss some people, made mistakes, or haven't learn something yet.

24. What's for me never miss me, and what's not for me always finding ways to go. 

25. Not everyone has the same heart as mine, nor think the way i think and that's okay.

26. If they wanted they would. I don't want to force anything anymore.

27. Two things I'll never forget: how someone treats me and what they made me feel.

28. Not everyone matters.

29. I will never accept any disrespect.

30. My peace over anything.

31. Time will pass anyway

32. If it’s the right time everything will be easier

33. Life keeps going with or without the people i think would stay

34. Everyone makes mistakes. Me either

35. Just because it's taking time, doesn't mean it's not happening

36. If they think they can find better, let them

37. People changes. Me either

38. Small progress is still progress

39. I don't need to understand everything

40. Growth requires discomfort

41. Im not what i thought

42. If i didn't different then nothing changes different too

43. My current self vs My old self. Don't compare myself with others cause it's not relevant

44. To be friends with me is to be privilege. And not all people have that privilege.

45. Maybe, it's a journey to finding myself, not finding a love

46. Sometimes i need to walk alone to truly find myself

47. Nobody's perfect

48. Forgive myself for not knowing what i didn't know before learning it

49. The wrong ones have to leave to make space for the right ones.

50. My new life will cost my old one

51. If it's possible for others, it's possible for me too

52. My past was a lesson, not a life sentence. Never be a prisoner

53. If i prayed for flowers don't be surprised if it starts rain

54. The way they treat me defines them. Not me

56. It has to fall apart temporarily before it falls into place permanently

58. Having boundaries is the way to have self-respect

59. The distance between my dreams and my reality is action

60. I'm much more learn from my mistakes not from theory

61. Some people won't stay

62. Words have a big power

63. It doesn't matter how good you explain yourself to others if Allah already knows how you are

64. Satu-satunya cara untuk mengetahui kita bisa apa enggak adalah dengan menjalaninya bukan dengan menebak-nebak

65. Ketakutan lahir dari ketidaktahuan dan tidak adanya persiapan

66. Jangan jadi menjadi obat bagi orang yang tidak mau sembuh

67. Terkadang, satu-satunya cara untuk bertahan adalah dengan meninggalkan

68. Tidak ada yang salah dengan menjadi lebih egois demi ketenangan dan kebahagiaan diri sendiri

69. Terkadang, respon terbaik adalah dengan tidak memberi respon

70. Menolong orang lain sama dengan menolong diri sendiri

71. My standards are never too high enough

72. I don't have to take the responsibility of everything

73. Some things are out of my control

74. I did all that i could

75. Cringe means growth too.

76. I'm stronger than i thought

78. I'm what i think

79. Love is real, because i exist

80. I deserve better

81. People are so lucky to know me

82. Never hate on previous of myself

83. I have nothing but hope

84. Be patience. Good things are coming

85. If someone isn't for me, Allah will never let me at peace with them

89. I was fine before them, i will fine after them too

90. Everything happens for a reason

91. Focus on improving not proving

92. Work in silence then let the success speak

93. Being nice doesn't mean making myself small for other people's comfort

94. Hard choice = easy life

Easy choice = hard life

95. Choose myself first before others

96. Sometimes being more heartless makes life get easier

97. Someone out there feels so grateful of meeting me

98. Wanting a sign, is a sign too.

99. I can always be a better version of my current self.

100. Look at people's actions. Not their words.

[haguenauisforlovers]

HAGUENAU IS FOR LOVERS

A Webgott Valentine’s Week Fan Event Feb. 12 - Feb 18, 2025

“Bastogne is for the battered bastards, Haguenau is for lovers. Haguenau is for Webgott.” - Tom Hanks, allegedly

We’re celebrating romance, workplace power trips, and Webgott. Ditch the dating apps, put on your unwashed, bloodstained ODs because you’re spending Valentine’s week in a mortar-pilled billet with Joe Liebgott and David Webster (cuck chair not included). The rest of Easy Company’s there too.

What is it?

A week-long Valentine’s Webgott fan event where you can create beautiful and sick things for every tiny interaction between the two in the land of lovers, depression facial hair, and night patrols: WWII Haguenau. ‘Haguenau is for Lovers 2025’ starts and ends on a Webgott Wednesday and will run from Feb. 12 - Feb 18, 2025. This fan event would like to thank this post by @randlemartin for being iconic, and for literally providing the title of it all.

Sound good, babe? Click ‘Keep Reading’ for rules, FAQs, and The Good Stuff.

EVENT DATES TO REMEMBER

Prompts poll open: Dec. 18, 2024

Prompts poll close: December 26, 2024 

Prompts reveal: Dec. 28, 2025

Fan event start: Feb 12, 2025

Fan event end: Feb 18, 2025

FIC SUBMISSION DATES TO REMEMBER

AO3 Collection open for Submissions: Feb 12, 2024

Fic collection reveal: Feb 14, 2024

Fic collection close: Feb. 19, 2024

*This page will begin reblogging posts with @haguenauisforlovers mentioned, and/or posts tagged with #haguenauisforlovers or #webgottvday on Feb. 12, 2025.

FAQs

Who can join and what can they contribute?

All those who are part of Webgott nation near and far. This event will be hosted primarily on Tumblr so to participate, you must have a Tumblr account. AO3 accounts are optional but highly encouraged, especially if participating authors prefer to lock their fics for AO3 users only. This fan event is open to: - Fics - AMVs and edits - Fan Art - Webweaves and Moodboards - GIFs - Playlists - Meme nonsense - Historical research, baby

RULES AND GUIDELINES

1. Main Relationship: Joe Liebgott/David Webster This is a Webgott event. That’s what it’s all about, baby.  2. Inclusion of other Ships: Ships apart from Webgott are welcome as background/implied (OC/Canon, Big Ships, Rare pairs). examples: Fic: Baberoe sharing an excruciatingly tender moment in the background while Joe and Web glare at each other in a gay way.  Text post/GIF sets: Other ships sharing Tender/Cute moments in Haguenau  vs. Joe and Web at each other’s neck at Haguenau 3. Tracking and Reblogging: This page will reblog posts with @haguenauisforlovers mentioned, and/or posts with tagged with #haguenauisforlovers or #webgottvday 4. AI-generated content is not allowed. Romance is created not generated. All Webgott works found here will be organic and free-range. RPF is honest work for real, beautiful, flesh-and-blood sickos. 5. [Fic Specific] Can we do AUs? AUs can be incorporated in, but fics should be set primarily in Haguenau. example: Post-war is allowed but they have to be reminiscing about Haguenau. Modern AU but they’re thrown into a time machine and land right smack behind enemy lines. You get what we mean. 6. Zero-tolerance Policy: Don’t be a dick actually. :) Please be civil and respectful toward one another. There is a zero tolerance policy for posts and/or comments that contain personal attacks or attempts at doxxing. Comments/posts promoting homophobia/racism/ableism or Nazi glorification will be removed. Similarly, there is also a zero tolerance policy for disrespecting characters, pairings, or kinks. This is a YKINMK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink) zone.

*Unironic Webster haters, please sit this one out. That's First and Second Platoon’s job. Cobb, Martin, and IRL Malarkey signed up twice.

Will there be prompts?

Yes! You can find the prompt list here.

What is a prompt?

A thought starter, brain lube if you will. Prompts are there to 1) spark any ideas for your works, whether they’re edits, gif sets, text posts, or fics; 2) keep you on theme. You don’t have to use them as is, but they’re there to help you jumpstart an idea. e.g. Prompt: Spit  Fic: Web finally spits out what he’s been wanting to tell Joe since day GIF Set: Side by side: Web open mouthed, Lieb spit compilation

Do I have to use every prompt for each day? 

No, you don’t! You can choose one (1) of the prompts, or incorporate all four prompts if you’re a beautiful overachiever like that.

Do I have to participate/create something for every day of the fan event?

Not at all! This is a: No Pressure Zone. Create and post for the event as much or as little as you want. On the same note, just engaging with the posts created by others or the page is already active participation with the fan event. Haguenau is for Lovers just wants a fun week where we all hyperfixate on Webgott in love together (more than usual). Don’t feel the need to put something out everyday single day.

Do I have to participate/create something for every day of the fan event?

Not at all! This is a: No Pressure Zone. Create and post for the event as much or as little as you want. On the same note, just engaging with the posts created by others or the page is already active participation with the fan event. 'Haguenau is for Lovers' just wants a fun week where we all hyperfixate on Webgott in love together (more than usual). Don’t feel the need to put something out everyday single day. <3

Why Haguenau?

Because it’s for LOVERS. Caress Band of Brothers episode 8 “The Last Patrol” in your hands and say a prayer to RPF. Anything can happen at the tailend of war, but especially falling in love. Get as snug as a bug, and let your Webgott imagination roam wild and free in war-torn Haguenau. But on a more serious note, Easy Company was stationed there during Valentine’s Day 1945. Historical accuracy, our collective beloved.

Any more questions?

The inbox is open! All questions will be answered as promptly as possible. If you’re submitting through anon, you can track your answered questions through the ASK TAG.

CREDITS: Huge thank you to previous HBO War events for providing templates and guidelines for this event. The logistics, rules, and etc. took notes and were guided by hbowar fandom giants hbowarkinkmeme -> kingcleven on dreamwidth, @sledgefuweek @luztoyeweek @heavyartillery @hbowardaily @hboww2rewatch (this is not pressure to reblog, just genuinely thankful for being guided by the events you’ve all already created!!)

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Living Whumpee Weapon Masterlist!!!

Warnings: forced living weapon/fighter, captive whumpee, memory loss, murder mission, killing of all ages including children, torture/violent interrogation, lots of blood

Summary: Whumpee has been tortured and trained to be a perfect living weapon for war... a lethal killing machine. He is used to mindlessly following orders and carrying out missions. But this time... he's sent to kill a town full of innocents, and things change fast. He still kills them all, of course... but he missed one, and soon after the enemy captures him alive. What will the enemy choose to do with Weapon?

Part 1 - Living Weapon Unleashed

Part 2 - He is a Weapon. And Weapons Don't Weep

Part 3 - You Missed One

Part 4 - First Touch of Kindness

Part 5 - Enemy Colors Sighted: Engage Threat

Part 6 - Captured

Part 7 - Interrogation

Part 8 - Innocent Little Ray of Sunshine

Part 9 - Memories

Part 10 - Weapon is Begged for Help

Part 11 - Fight One Last Time, and You'll Be Free...

Part 12 - Chaos & Conditioning

Part 13 - Stabbed in the Back (Literally)

Part 14 - Wounded Weapon

Part 15 - Meet Your New Team

Part 16 - Rocky Alliance

Part 17 - Bitter Betrayal

Part 18 - Being Set Up

Part 19 - Proven Innocent

Part 20 - Whumpee's Made a 'Maybe' Friend

Part 21 - Whumpee Faces His Betrayer

Part 22 - Truce? Truce.

Part 23 - The Truth

Part 24 - Finally! Some Respect

Part 25 - Preparing for War

Part 26 - Goodbyes

Part 27 - Off to War We Go

Part 28 - It's a Trap!

Part 29 - Bloody Traitor

Part 30 - Karma in Whumpee Form

Part 31 - Reap What You Sow

Part 32 - RUN

Part 33 - Close Your Eyes & Cover Your Ears

Part 34 - Threat Neutralized

Part 35 - Give Them a War to Remember

Part 36 - Blood and Gunpowder

Part 37 - Ignoring Orders

Part 38 - He is a Weapon. And Weapons Are Made for War

Part 39 - The End of the End

Part 40 - Gentle Giant

BONUS SCENE part 1 - Dreams or Memories?

Part 2 - Weapon's Identity Crisis

Part 3 - Who Am I Really?!

Part 4 - Scarred-Up Monster

Part 5 - Runaway Rage

Part 6 - Reluctantly Accepting Comfort

Part 7 - Want to Talk About it?

Part 8 - Sympathy

Part 9 - Light in the Darkness

Part 10 - You Don't Have to be Alone Anymore

Part 11 - The Gift of Kindness

Part 12 - Seeking Answers

Part 13 - Monster, Monster, in my Head, Won't You Tell Me How You're Not Dead?

Part 14 - He's a Monster... and Monsters Don't Deserve to be Loved

Part 15 - Cornered by Weapon

Part 16 - Cold Realization

Part 17 - The Truth

Part 18 - There's Something I Need to Tell You...

Part 19 - The Forgotten One

Part 20 - Trust Test

Part 21 - Message for Miranda

Part 22 - I'm Sorry... Forgive Me?

Part 23 - Acceptance

Part 24 - Forgiven

Part 25 - Family Reunion Gone Wrong

Part 26 - Second Chances

Whumpee & Myra art done by a special fan!!

My music choice for Whumpee

Main Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @i-don't-know-sal @togzy

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @cepheusgalaxy

[raelyn-dreams]

Enstars Updated Ages (as of 12/2024)

(Plain Text and Info under the cut, as well as new HiMERU age spoilers)

31-33: Jin Sagami.

29-31: Akiomi Kunugi.

21-22: Rinne Amagi, Nice Arneb Thunder (Sanda Yoshihide).

20-21: Rei Sakuma.

19-20: Eichi Tenshouin, Wataru Hibiki, Chiaki Morisawa, Kanata Shinkai, Tatsumi Kazehaya, Nagisa Ran, Hiyori Tomoe, Shu Itsuki, Niki Shiina, Kaoru Hakaze, Nazuna Nito, Keito Hasumi, Kuro Kiryu, Leo Tsukinaga, Izumi Sena, Ritsu Sakuma, Tsumugi Aoba, Madara Mikejima.

18-19: Yuzuru Fushimi, Hokuto Hidaka, Subaru Akehoshi, Makoto Yuuki, Mao Isara, Mayoi Ayase, Ibara Saegusa, Jun Sazanami, Mika Kagehira, Koga Ogami, Adonis Otogari, Souma Kanzaki, Arashi Narukami, Natsume Sakasaki, Anzu, Kaname Tojo.

17-18: Tori Himemiya, Tetora Nagumo, Midori Takamine, Shinobu Sengoku, Hiiro Amagi, Hinata Aoi, Yuta Aoi, Tomoya Mashiro, Mitsuru Tenma, Hajime Shino, Tsukasa Suou, Sora Harukawa, Hitsugi Kurone/NEGI.

16-17: Aira Shiratori, Kohaku Oukawa, Esu Sagiri.

15-16: Ibuki Taki.

14-15: Fuyume Hanamura, Raika Hojo.

12-13: Kanna Natsu.

HiMERU Spoilers!!!: 19-20

Unknown: Seiya Hidaka, Gatekeeper.

Info / Explanations for the Curious

All ages are from ES2 Era (two years after !).

While Jin and Akiomi's ages are currently listed in !!/ES1 Era as 31-32 and 29-30 on their profiles, respectively, these ages are not widely agreed upon, due to them not lining up with the Main Story's stated ages (which would be one year younger for each). Therefore, I used a wider range encompassing both of these possible ages.

Rinne and Niki never attended high school, and Niki therefore did not graduate with any of the ! Era third years, while Rinne would have been a third year during the War, had he attended.

Rei was held back due to his time abroad in his second year, making him one year older than the other ! Era Yumenosaki third-years, which he graduated with.

Tatsumi and Ritsu were both held back in their second years, due to Tatsumi's hospitalization and Ritsu's chronic absences due to his condition and lack of motivation, making them one year older than the other !!/ES1 Era third-years. Therefore, Ritsu recently graduated from Yumenosaki at the end of !!/ES1 Era March, while Tatsumi graduated from Reimei Academy around the same time.

Kaname was a first year alongside Jun during the Reimei Revolution (while Tatsumi was a second-year). Therefore, had he not been rendered comatose, he would have graduated Reimei Academy with Jun at the end of the !!/ES1 Era, making him the same age as the other !!/ES1 Era third years.

Hitsugi was admitted to the producer course during !!/ES1 Era as a second year, much like Anzu the year before, placing his age as the same as the other current !!!/ES2 third years. (While Hitsugi is 17-18, NEGI identifies as his older sister, likely putting her conscious around the age Hitsugi's original older sister died).

As of Ephemeral Festival, HiMERU is confirmed to be 19-20. This tracks with Akira's impossibly mature writing of children & babies (10-month-old Rei remembering specific details of Ritsu's birth, 3-year-old Hiiro speaking in full complex sentences about philosophy, etc), the possibility of Kaname being an affair baby (HiMERU ran away after his father's remarriage specifically; his father could have cheated on his mother before she died), the fact that HiMERU needs to be younger than Rinne (stated in internal monologue), and general Enstars timeline weirdness.

Seiya and Gatekeeper's ages are unknown, though they are typically estimated to be slightly older than Jin and Akiomi (mid-late 30s), with Gatekeeper seen as older, due to Gatekeeper's long history with Godfather (while Seiya is still an active idol with a late-teenage son).