#end of the day this is my blog and i can dictate who the fuck comes in and out

[mikichko]

ma'am, it's literally in your notes of your last post. i don't see you challenging @wraithdance for spreading junk science in your replies but go off i guess. keep up the transphobic dogwhistles or w/e

ok so where in these tags am i talking about the prefeontal cortex??? quickly now.

and this is exactly why I’m saying what I’m saying about the age limit cause clearly a lot of you dumb bitches don’t learn how to think critically much later in life.

please don’t come on here trying to spit at me about “dogwhistles” when i’ve been the one educating y’all on those.

and since we’re holding people accountable babes why don’t you acquaint yourself with the posts i’ve previously reblogged talking about how the entire thing is a fucking myth you fucking clown.

if you’re gonna try to dickride me at least do it right

[versethetic]

feelings don't dictate. belief does.

putting this up here for my own archive. but i am once again reiterating that it does not matter how you feel.

you can feel confident as fuck and still believe you're gonna fail a test.

you can feel like dogshit about going on stage and delivering a speech and still believe you're gonna fucking kill it.

i can feel like i need to do more to get my perfect life. i can feel like i'm not being consistent enough. i can feel like there's something i'm not doing right.

but i will still, always choose to believe that it is done. i will always choose to believe that i've already got it. i will always choose to believe that no matter how i feel, i am living my dream life.

that is it. feel how you need to feel.

be sad; you feel like you "don't see it."

be upset; it feels like its "taking forever."

be mad; you feel you aren't "doing enough."

then when you've processed what you feel. get right back to what you believe.

be happy; you believe that it's already accomplished in the 4d and is yours.

be overjoyed; you believe that you are a master manifestor who gets shit instantly.

be ecstatic; you believe everything you do is perfect. you can do no wrong. manifesting is the easiest thing in the world to you.

rant:

i get upset with myself sometimes. its been infinitely better now than even a few months ago, but i often felt like if i don't remember to persist or affirm or wtvr then im losing sight of my end goal, my manifestation.

i feel down when i wake up and "don't see my perfect life" and it sucks. i have bad days; so do many other folks on this app. but when i read and see from other blogs that feelings aren't the end all be all of my manifestation journey. it makes me so fucking happy.

so i may feel these things from time to time. but now, i can always choose to just not believe it. i can choose to believe that i've always been living my dream life. i can choose to believe that i don't need to remember to affirm and visualize everyday because i'm already perfect. i believe that no matter how much i feel like i need to do smth, it only matters that its already been decided.

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

what about all of the tkatb characters reacting to reader having a kid or smt like maybe reader adopted a kid from someone they knew or smt "bad" happened to reader and reader had said kid, how would they react? Srry if your not taking reqs rn or smt like that, but I luv your blog!

Stalwart (All x MC/Reader - Having a Kid HCs)

So...it has been a long fucking time since you've requested this Anon, and oh-my-God am I sorry it took this long. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it, but @deathcvltcivilofficial? Thank you for entrusting me with this.

Also, if anyone who reads this has been abused or assaulted, you've still got worth. You still matter, even if your culture or religion dictates otherwise. <3

TW: A lot of mentions of RAPE and SEXUAL ASSAULT!

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Stalwart: loyal, reliable, and hard-working.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Sol came to your home (because of the art project), you had warned him a child would be present, but he assumed you were babysitting.

Until you dropped the bombshell on him; that the adorable midget copy of you happens to be your child.

He would be livid deep inside. You have a child, a biological child?

He’ll immediately want to know who the mother/father of it is; and you bet he’s gonna find out.

If you have a child, it means someone got their disgusting hands on you, used you and was trying to trap you! He can’t have that, no no no.

Will be doing a lot more stalk- I mean *coughs* reconnaissance, y’know, to find out who this filthy pestilence was.

Emphasis on ‘was’. That person is going to poof from existence before the next morn.

Will be incredibly enthusiastic if you offer to have him meet your spawnling. He’d treat them like they’re a glass vase, he literally loves that child.

Would be intrigued as to how it was conceived, and, well, depending on your response, will make the murder way more deranged.

If you’re both dating (you will be), he will be incredibly cautious on how to push the subject forth, because he has all intent on marrying you (and painting your holes with his seed).

If said conceiving occurred on accident, say you both were drunk, he’d be annoyed. Less info on this other person, the worse.

If the sex was entirely consensual, he would be silently fuming. You had been with another. Someone who wasn’t him. And they dared to have sex with someone as hallowed as you? My guy will be itching to punch something.

If you end up having a more angry or avoidant response, or snapping at him about it; he’ll suspect something is wrong, probably won’t pry much further for now, he believes through time and trusts you’ll tell him…he hopes.

He’ll do digging afterwards, maybe even get closer to your child, and if your child spills the beans on how you never talk about their mother/father, and even get furious or upset for asking, he’ll become a lot more concerned. His mind will be thoroughly searching for a reason.

Until the day you start to crack…when you start to hint more and more towards the most horrific thing Sol could’ve ever thought of, something he would rather kill himself than even dare to think of.

If your child had been conceived under…well, if you’d been abused. Assaulted. Raped.

Sol didn’t want to believe it. Some sick, disgusting worm had…no. He knows if he thinks about it he’ll descend into a wrath-filled hysteria., and he can’t have that around you, or God forbid, the child.

All he can think of is how desperately he wants to find the (wo)man who did this and torture them in the most despicable, horrific ways imaginable.

If anything, his respect for you, for being able to cope with university and a child would be a massive toll mentally.

He doesn’t view you in a different light, or your child for that matter. It only means he’ll do the absolute best to aid you in any way possible.

Is willing to overcome his distaste of kids for your child (everything has exceptions). Would be trying to be seen as a father figure to it (although he’d much prefer if you called him daddy-).

Won’t push you into anything sexual, or anything extremely physical unless he’s:

A got explicit consent, and 

B. the knowledge that you’re not opposed to it in the first place.

He’s 110% gonna try to have a good relationship with your child, partially for…familial reasons (especially if he's gonna be their step-father and your step-ladder) and also so that your child will be okay with his existence, after all, him being with you also depends on whether your child actually likes him or not.

Man is trying his absolute best for you, no matter what occurred with you and your miniature clone. <33       

Hyugo would’ve probably heard from the Student Council that a couple students had children, so of course one day he’d find himself getting curious.

Will be pretty shocked when he sees you’re one of them, especially if he already knew you for a while.

Won’t really be opposed to it, he only detests extremely loud, spoiled kids. (You raise your kids well guys good job *insert vigorous HAND clapping*).

Will be curious when he realises you’re a single parent, won’t pry though, it’s not his business. Maybe you simply fucked around and found out. *shrug*

Depending on how closed off you are about the topic of your child, he will eventually start finding out details, either from you or just piecing information together from off hand comments.

Either way, somehow he gets into your home and there, in the corner of the living room, is a spitting image of you. Just…smaller. 

Said child side-eyes him harder than Geo could dream of. To be fair, this child does kinda remind him of a young Geo, especially in personality.

After being acquainted with you both for a while, will offer the Small One candy (with permission from you obviously and no, not in a white van).

Small One is very on the fence about him, is judging his fashion sense very harshly the whole time.

The child called him a walking aquarium when he first showed up btw.

If he finds out (either from you or said child) that you were sexually assaulted or raped? He’ll be angry, but also proud that you were able to:

A. Keep the child and raise it.

B. Actually somewhat live your life.

Doesn’t lose respect for you at all, just tries to make it clear that he’ll support you in any way possible. 

If you know the person who assaulted you, they’ll be subjected to Hyugo Sugimoto’s vigilantism. You, on the other hand, will be subject to Hyugo committing crime to try and aid you and the child in any way possible. 

Geo resents children with a vehemence, he sees them as stupid and overly sensitive; mans just avoids them like the plague.

He’s known you well enough to establish that you’re not an annoying dumpster fire, and has come to the conclusion that you’re a somewhat tolerable person to be around.

Will hear (either from Brittney or Hyugo) that there are rumours about how you have a child, and he won’t believe them at all.

Until you confirm them, that is. Then he will simply be discombobulated.

Will feel a weird sense of disgust around you. (probably from his own daddy issues lmfao, my guy will think you’re like his parents subconsciously).

Anyway, after he ‘happens’ upon you and your kid one day, and sees how oddly kind you are as a parent; he’ll start to see you in a different light.

It might be a long while (it takes about 32 decades), but eventually he’ll become more curious about your descendant.

If you’re comfortable enough with telling him, you just state how you either had a fling or just broke up with a previous partner; he will be unsurprised, but a tad irked. (he thinks he’s way better smh how dare you MC)

If your child was conceived via…unpleasant means, he will be apathetic for a few mins, until it hits him one day that some sick person willingly, consciously violated you. It ends up making his blood fucking boil.

He will be the type to drop random spouts of blunt affirmations like; “You are competent, good job.”

Will end up being very awkward with the child, has no clue how to interact with one so he just offers them money and tells them to go play in an arcade or some shit while he watches and deathstares random people.

Will teach said child Japanese insults, if your child gets bullied for being a product of nonconsensual sex, he will teach the child how to punch people.

He tries his best, because your child is the only one he will tolerate; and also he needs them to like him so he can rizz you up by forgetting you exist lmfao.

Deryl is often seen as an uncle or big brother by a lot of kids, his warm exterior tends to make a lot of them really like him, and to be fair, he doesn’t mind kids that much either.

He’s known you for a while, and in all the time he’s known you, he’d have *never* guessed that you were a parent.

Let alone a single parent. Your grades are so high, you work your ass off and you’re a parent? Simultaneously?!

He’ll be genuinely awed, impressed as well.

Will definitely be curious about this child of yours, but won’t pry except its something you initiate.

If he ever meets this child of yours, he will end up  being adored by them. This guy is actually extremely good with kids.

Will end up becoming closer with you as well due to this, and if he finds out this child of yours was a product of abuse or assault, he’ll just be…solemn.

And seeing Deryl solemn is like seeing a cat bark, shit’s fucking weird.

He will be angry that someone did such a vile thing to you, but if you’ve moved on, he’ll try to as well. Although, if you know who it was that did this��expect them to end up hospitalised.

Him and the child will bond over candy. You and him bond over knowing one another. 

Also teaches the child how to play sports. Yippee. Also gives life advice and counselling. <3

And you eventually trust him enough to accept him fully into your life (and maybe heart who knows).

Crowe is quite fond of kids, he’s not someone who avoids them.

He’s also quite fond of you, although his interest in you is more…well, romantic. 

He’s genuinely interested in you, so he wants to know more about you; and fortunately for him, he's known you for a while. You opening up to him (and vice versa) isn’t that new, although when it happens he embraces it wholeheartedly.

When you tell him you have a kid, he’s shooketh, but not upset in any way.

Would be a smidge jealous that someone had you before him, but oh well.

Would be very intrigued by this enigma that is the child, and when he eventually meets them, he tries to be nice (not over the top, just polite).

If he wants to be with you he has to get the child to like him, so he just acts naturally, which is him being a saint, and just overall serving as a source of aid for both of you, whether it be financial, educational or general. He’ll try his best.

He’s willing to help you in any way humanly possible, and I mean it. He goes all out. He also tutors the child if they need help with exams or homework.

If your child was conceived under force or against your will, he’d simply make himself an emotional backbone for you. He doesn’t pity you, but he does try to treat you a bit softer, for the sake of trying to make you feel more comfortable around him; he understands such an event is traumatic and quite detrimental psychologically.

If you’ve moved on and gotten therapy or aid, he will remain a source of support, my guy will just ensure to avoid sexual things around you, he doesn’t want to push any of your boundaries or upset you in any way, shape, or form.

He’s trying guys. <3

Brittney is actually really good with kids, which shocks a few people.

Not as shocked as when she hears you of all people are a parent, although, now that she knows, she can kinda see it.

Won’t really think much differently of you, although if she meets this kid she does become their rich single aunt eventually.

My girl will teach our spawnling about:

- Fashion, along with judging other people’s clothing styles;

- Skincare routines, depending on the age she’ll either recommend the bare minimum or just give a couple of things she uses;

- Makeup, won’t care whether it's a son or daughter, they’ll learn cosmetics;

- Boxing, girlypop can definitely fight, so she’ll teach your kid self defense and emotionally damaging insults to scare off bullies.

Will be willing to babysit for you, your child ends up becoming very fond of her and the two just tend to go to Zara or Myer and discuss what clothes are good (more based on fashion the older your kid is).

She’ll do your child’s hair (and yours as well dwdw you both have your own beauty sessions).

Also serves as a gossip generator, along with a pretty strongly morally-coded source of comfort for both of you. Tries her best when possible to be there.

If she finds out the child is a product of rape, she’ll only look at you as someone much stronger and resilient than she could’ve guessed. You stuck through something like that, and she can’t say much other than: “You’re safe now, you’re among friends.”

Will often use distractions as a way to try and ease your mind.

Is genuinely a great person to be around, and when she has the time and energy, she’s lovely to both you and the child (it’ll be her stepchild soon muahahhahahaah).

Jess honestly would gawk at the thought of anyone in her friend group being a parent. You’re all so young and just experiencing life for yourselves!

When she finds out you have a kid, she’ill be astonished, will blink a couple of times and then repeatedly confirm that you’re actually a parent and not kidding.

You looked too fresh and epic, especially for a single parent. Her ones always looked drained and half-dead, yet you were hopeful, lively, regal.

May or may not be terrified that your kid is a menace and will stab her-.

It’s okay she gets over it, she believes that if you’re as excellent as you are, your kid will be similar.

And she’s partially right, your kid is based af; although, like most kids, they are a menace.

They don’t trust her much at first, but overtime they both form a genuine camaraderie.

And it’s wonderful. They both recommend each other fanfiction (this is if your kid is a teen dwdw).

Otherwise they just watch anime and listen to K-pop.

If your kid was a product of…well, rape, Jess’d just be mortified.

Horrified, even. The fact you went through that, had your child, still chose to study and work…she’s a bit astounded that you were able to take on so much.

Would try her best to use her money to help, whether that be groceries or buying things for your kid. She’d try her very best to formulate a bond between them and you. <3

[thefallennightmare]

Morning love. Prepare for a long post.

I just want to thank everyone for yesterday. I didn’t realize how many people cared for me and my blog. I didn’t ask for anyone to come to my defense or say those wonderful things to reassure me. But you all did and I’m so fucking thankful.

After this post, I’m so ready to just leave everything in the past. Move forward and remain positive about everything. I can’t let it keep bothering me because it’s not healthy. It’s not good for any of us to keep going back.

So as much as I love you all coming to my defense, I think it’s best if we stop giving these blogs the attention they crave. We’re just adding more fuel to this fire and it doesn’t need to be. I don’t want people getting hate on my behalf.

I guess this whole situation brought a lot of things to light; on tumblr and my personal life. I’ve realized who is here for me with something like this. Who actually cares. I love you all so much. I can call you all friends and just know, my inbox/ask box is always open. We can literally talk about whatever. So are my twitch streams. I know some of the games I play might not be everyone’s cup of tea but we can always talk about whatever. It’s always a fun time.

Tumblr will always have a toxic side, along with any other social media. We just have to remember to stay on the right side. I’m doing my best not to slip into the toxic side because as I’ve stated multiple times, I don’t want that on my blog. I’m not going to let people who clearly don’t know me or my healthy marriage dictate what I do.

I feel like things are going to be changing on here, for the better. I’m still writing; fuck the fan fiction haters. They’re not going to stop me from doing something that will eventually help provide for my family(the family that loves me). I’m going to write whatever I want now. I’m doing things my way and if some people don’t like it, oh well.

I’ve got fantastic ideas for all of my current works in progress that I can’t wait to show all of you. I have great friends on here that have even more amazing ideas for their own stories that I cannot wait to read.

At the end of the day, Bad Omens created this wonderful fan base. We all come together to show our love and appreciation for not only them, but everyone in this community.

So once again, thank you all and I love you. The Fallen Nightmare is just getting started and she’s not going anywhere.

Xoxoxo

Angel 🪽

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: "Julith et Jahash" - Part 1

In the past, I said that I would wait for a translation that is currently in the making in the russian fandom. However, because I am weak, and want to keep this blog going asap, I lied. (This liveblog will be very slow due to this, so be warned.)

This comic will let us understand Joris better... while literally all of his personality, morals, body language, and tastes, are a product of Kerubim, — this might shed light on A. family history, that might dictate his physiology (what if Julith randomly says she has an allergy? This isn't real, but it would be big for Joris lore), and the things he went through after the movie: what experience he would have with the huppermage culture, which he was cut off from for his entire life thus far.

Question: is there a single member of this family who DOESN'T fish??

Kramdam is a part of Rok Island, the name of which will be familiar to you if you're A. a player of the MMOs, B. batshit insane about Joris lore.

It might be silly, for me to point this out, but listen: the movie, the series, they all happen hundreds of years before the Dofus MMO, — so to have confirmation that Rok Island is that old, is very interesting.

I had previously said that huppermages aren't very fond of cultures outside their own, and I want to elaborate, so that my words aren't misconstrued: Huppermages culture is, in a lot of ways, a mixture of different classes, — because a lot of huppermages aren't born huppermages, but instead, people who convert to this class, and a lot of their spells are inspired or taken from other classes. However, not assimilating fully is... very unwelcome.

Having a history of oppression and at least one genocide in the years after the movie, made huppermages very understandably conservative and closed-off. But this culture, as we'll see from this comic, had some pretty toxic traits even before those scars.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Like I already knew about this, but I want you to understand: the stupid fucking log thing is a family trait.

Do you think Joris told Bakara "I hate magic, I hate magic, I hate magic. I HATE WANDS. I HATE STAFFS. I KEEP BREAKING THEM. LET ME OUT. LET ME OUT OF THE ACADEMY. STOP HAVING ME BE ENROLLED!!!!" and the next day she brought him a fucking log. Do you think this is what happened.

So small, and already sure that she'll never be as good as her brother... man.

Also... Bakara and Joris looked very similar as kids. At least that's my opinion.

I didn't think this comic would make me emotional, but the Jurgen family having a thing for logs is making me violently ill.

It probably was Bakara who gave him that bright idea. And Kerubim was probably like "ok son, I am someone who also uses blunt weapons, I can teach you how to do this."

There isn't some "i like to use logs" gene, it was all just Joris preferring to use melee, Bakara's memories of Jahash's melee skills, and Kerubim's skill in melee fighting.

It is just... insane to me, how Joris ends up doing this one thing that his biological father liked to do, despite how different they are as people. Despite Joris likely feeling absolutely nothing towards the man.

Well, that, or he fucking hates Jahash, though probably not as much as Julith.

Think about it this way, — Jahash and Julith ruined his childhood by their reappearance. They ruined his life for the next few decades too, probably. And after? They would always be a shadow over his life, for as long as they are remembered. It's always either "you're evil and we don't trust you because you're Julith's son" (even though he knows that Julith was framed,) or "you're not good enough, even though you're Jahash's son. How come?" (even though he knows from Bakara that... Jahash was just a man. Even if it is hard for him to put together the almost-holy image of his father as seen on the stained-glass in a temple, and the image of him that Bakara talks about, — a human person, who had fears and dreams.)

The only way for Joris to live his own life, without any judgement or comparison, without being reminded of how shit his childhood was, is to wait for the World of Twelve to forget who the fuck a Julith and Jahash even are. It's logical for him to have some irrational resentment.

And yet he brings a log to a nuke fight in season 4. Jahash would never do this, because he got good at magic, but he WOULD approve.

His parents would have loved him a lot, if they had the chance.

List of things that Joris and Bakara share:

Neurotic perfectionist who struggles with self-hatred about their skills and their body.

Cute ass behaviours and expressions as children.

Alcoholism (this is my fanon for Joris. It came to me in a vision. He's just like Kerubim and Bakara, — needs to get shitfaced to cope.)

Haunted by Jahash's success in life, even though Jahash would NEVER have wanted either of them to be haunted.

Thin grabbable waist and twinkish/waifish looks as adults. (Joris is already a twink, despite his 3ft stature, but NEVER forget the official concept art of how Joris would look if he wasn't possessed by a dragon as an infant. He would be a tall, blonde, anime twink instead.)

Whisperers have, historically, been used as servants by Bontarians and Huppermages.

Though by Waven times, they are enemies of the state (at least dissenting ones), and Joris wants you to beat the shit out of them, for the sake of his beautiful nation. (because they're dissenting)

Jahash and Bakara grew up with their dad, Juvence Jurgen.

By huppermage standards, they lived in very unusual conditions.

"All huppermage towers are super-protected, we WILL die if we don't take precautions, so I will go ahead, and deliver the message myself."

Yeah, no, they're not typical huppermages. I guess Joris has a lot in common with Bakara and Jahash. (I keep making myself sad, thinking about this.)

He thinks that Jahash and Bakara are some local hicks/rednecks that the huppermage has been experimenting on, which raises many red flags. Like the fact that apparently, human experimentation is a thing that some huppermages do. Then he thinks that the huppermage is experimenting on his own kids.

The headcanon that Jahash might have had some learning disabilities that he gave to Joris as one last "sayonara you weaboo shit" genetical move, and that it was REALLY hard for him to learn magic and impossible for Joris, stays winning.

By the way, I guess this is a good time to give you the next, very funny piece of trivia:

Joris's name literally means "George George the Farmer Farmer".

I think it's likely that, historically, before Jahash's success in life, their family were just some random poverty-stricken farmers, who happened to be huppermages.

I'M SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT THEM.

Grandpa Jurgen is literally so fucking real.

THE HEADCANON THAT JAHASH MIGHT HAD LEARNING DISABILITIES THAT HE GAVE TO JORIS AS ONE LAST "SAYONARA YOU WEABOO SHIT" GENETICAL MOVE, AND THAT IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR HIM TO LEARN MAGIC AND IMPOSSIBLE FOR JORIS, STAYS WINNING.

Juvence really cares about his kids.

"If you don't do as master says, he will kill you and all your loved ones."

Guys I'm starting to think, that between this, the political intrigues, the bullying, the "using Bakara for PR while she becomes a teenage alcoholic and not giving a shit about her" thing, — that the huppermage academy and temple, are um.... not actually Good, as an institution.

To most this is "an honour," and yet, this random selection process chose a teenage huppermage who, by all accounts, can't do magic and doesn't know a single spell.

I'm so fucking sad.

You know what else these two quotes can apply to? Haha. well. I ask you to imagine Jahash's funeral, and—— [i collapse on the floor weeping]

"He was always more like a father to her, than an older brother."

I am going to crash my car into the sea. And I don't even have a car.

[cattytheartcat]

Ok ik this is old drama, but it seems rlly important now

'Bug Enthusiast or pest enthusiast?' A thread documenting some disturbing content from Pitaya, who could possibly be IdolMantis.

First, I'd like to announce two things; first, don't FUCKING harass anyone involved, and DONT harass Idol himself despite his predatory behavior. I don't condone harassment, witch hunting nor death/suicide baiting. Second, this thread is for, specifically, this reblog chain with a mutual and myself because of some alarming anons talking about Idol and his dark past due to an accidental like/reblog.

This is going to become a thread, as there's a shit ass 10 image limit aughg-

Now, lets dive in. These are from a wayback machine archive, which I can provide links to at the end.

As you saw in the original reblog chain, IdolMantis seems to have had multiple names in the past. Raisinrat, UnicornMantis, Bugcore, Ackee, Pitaya, all these names seem to be connected to Idol himself. Now, Idol is STILL active to this day on Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter, however he posts for his two web comic series; Monsters and Girls and Bugtopia.

As the two comics aren't anything harmful, they do involve quite alot of implied sexual content with mainly lesbian couples, some of which are drawn to look more androgynous or masculine. If you are under 18 I advise NOT to search out these comics, just to be safe. Idk I don't feel like minors should really get involved in that stuff but someone can correct me if needed. I do not know Idol's gender identity nor sexuality, and it doesn't seem like he's tryna sexualize lesbianism, so I won't speak further on these comics as its not my place to dictate what's good or bad rep.

However its good to keep these 2 comics in mind as we see what he used to be involved with.

The full callout was made by a Tumblr user titled AckeeLoveMail, which seems to be deactivated by now. The blog is pretty much a "critical" blog, or a callout blog, dedicated to a person named Pitaya, who used to have a blog named Bugcore. Bugcore has been archived, but no other info or images were archived correctly.

Remember, Idolomantises (IdolMantis) calls himself a "Bug Enthusiast" on Twitter. I don't know if these two pages are the same, though considering Idol's obsession with bugs... its an alarming possibility.

[Lol remember how we could customize our blogs]

Anyway, there's two main links here; the Bugcore blog link, and "The Callout". That link takes us here;

Notice how its said that he deletes posts and claims people just hate him for no reason.

Hmm....

Also, the beginning of the callout sounds familiar....

Lil offnote, but its said here that he identifies as non-binary. Currently he draws very sexual content of predominantly feminine identifying characters. Again I can't say much, but I do know that I've seen alot of people show concern on masculine ID'ing ppl consume or create content that sexualizes lesbian couples. Again, someone can correct me on that.

Anyway, second part of the callout.

The evidence:

This one is just... weird? Idk. Anyway bc of shitty image limit this is part 1 of... god knows how many posts.

[cryptoradfemme]

TW: Opinion LMAO

Very hot take: Lesbian politicism is stupid. You can be a radical feminist and still date a man. Some people are just so chronically online they'll tell you that you can't. Yes, men abuse, yes, men rape, kill, pillage, etcetera. You don't think women who are bisexual or straight acknowledge that? Some people choose to be a radical feminist and still be romantical in the same way that some radical feminists who are lesbian do. It's weird how some of you have made it so that only lesbians can date under radical feminism. If they find out the hard way their boyfriend has sick thoughts, then they find out the hard way like god intended. Men can be secretly predatory, that's true, but living your life in fear and regretting it later is more stupid. Stop trying to control who women date, now you just sound like the enemy. If they have sex with a man, if they choose to have a child, then holy shit.. I mean wow. She made that choice. You know women weren't able to do that before, yeah?? That's a pretty big step. She, the woman, made the choice to sleep with a guy and have a child with him on her terms. And he didn't force himself onto her? Progress. Okay? Progress people. Stop fear mongering, you're resetting progress. Why not post about the good parts, just like how climate change blogs will post the shit things that are happening in the world but sprinkle in some of the good things. Maybe stuff like "Dude gets arrested for being a rank pos"? "Pedophile ring gets exposed everyone celebrates"? "Women get a win for once in court cases"? Post about news from around the world. If you just post about the terrible things happening you'll fall down a mental pipe of shit. Trust me, its terrible. You'll be scared to go outside, scared to do anything. Scared to interact with even normal everyday dudes. The point is, yes, shits happening. That is a fact that nobody can deny. Men can be terrible and they're being taught to this day to still be terrible. But you know what? That doesn't mean you can't have some hope. When you lose hope, you start sounding crazy. You sound like me back in 2020 when i seriously thought that everyone was out to get me. I became a shut in, i didn't go out, i didn't make friends, i didn't do anything. I was so afraid every friend i met would be some scary son of a gun because a lot of them kept turning on me. You can't do that. You can't be afraid of every guy you meet. You will go crazy and it's unhealthy to promote this type of shit to younger girls especially around my age. I'm so fucking lucky i haven't lost my mind to this yet from listening to some of you chat about this stuff like it's completely normal. If you can't have optimism and keep trying and keep hoping, you will lose at life. I didn't get out of my slump by farting around and keeping up that mindset.

In the end, let women have identities without you needing to chime in and shit on them the same way guys shat on you for being a teen girl once. If a girls bisexual, straight, lesbian, let it happen. Like that's even your business anyways dude. Stop dictating who dates who. Woman up maybe? I don't know. It's not like every single guy out there is shit for brains. Yeah, it's a majority in the same way you wouldn't know if that snake in your backyard is poisonous or not, but some of those snakes aren't poisonous. The point is to be vigilant, to speak out about womens issues, to help younger women and older women navigate through a life that strips them of their choice and rights, but to also not lose yourself in it. Take up hobbies, actually talk to some guys for once too. You're an extremist, not a radical. That's a totally different branch at that point. So yes. Let women date men if its what they want. You can warn them about the dangers and still let people do it. It's like saying "This roller coaster might brake down because it's old and rust, do you want to ride it anyway?" Usually the answer is yes especially if its your favorite roller coaster.

Liberal feminism - Bunch of spiritualist "boss girl" written in pink glitter font with a bit of "not all men" mixed in there with tra acceptance. They are pro sex work and pro porn. They are scratching only the tip of the iceberg and this is where most people start out.

Radical feminism - Just right, it's a perfect balance. Teaching women to be vigilant, acknowledging that you can't make "acceptances" for certain groups who threaten womens liberty and rights. Anti trans, anti gender conforming. Open to criticism, and hasn't completely lost their minds. The 4b movement is welcomed, It's anti sex work, Anti porn, And its balanced between leftism and rightism. Relies on understanding how capitalism affects women day to day and reflects on issues even far across the globe. It isn't American centered. You realize the importance of working with men but also against them to maintain some sense of harmony.

Extremist feminism - Anti men completely. You hate them so much you would go lengths just to avoid them. You believe they'll never change, not even in the future. You also hate tras but you want to be violent against them, not help them. You don't get outside much, your fear mongering has completely taken over your brain to the point you have no male friends because you think males are out to get you at every single waking second. You think they're under you and you don't dream of a world of equality, you dream of revenge. You're probably accidentally racist at some points in your life.

[wheelrismsarchived]

PSA

I really hate that i have to say this in the year of our lord 2022

but

NO ONE ON HERE OWES YOU A GOD DAMN DIDDLY THING

Now, I want you to repeat that to yourself while i go on my rant.

This is a fun space, its supposed to be a safe space. That means that YOU as the creator are able to tailor a dashboard for you and you alone. If you want nothing but quotes, do it. if you want to just rp dirty dirty smut all day, have a fucking blast. If you want to do nothing but have people on your dash you dont interact with but just like reading their stuff, go nuts.

BUT YOU DONT GET TO DICTATE HOW OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THEIR BLOGS.

If someone has a DNI list, let them have it. If you dont like it then I want you to click out of their blog, put them on a block list and move the fuck on. Seriously. Its that simple. We as writers dont owe anyone else anything. We dont owe them interaction, replies, time, devotion, nothing. If i wanna write with the same three people over and over again I can. We aren't in a rpg group, we arent bound by laws to interact just because YOU feel entitled to it. If someone has someone on a DNI list and doesnt wanna interact with someone who sticks up for them after awful behavior, then they have that right. You dont get to sit there and try and change their minds.

The ones that I love on here, you know who you are. The ones that are starting shit..go out and touch grass and get a fucking life my god.

cuz at the end of the day this is something that we find enjoyable in this fucked up world. Dont ruin it for the rest of us.

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

Like I actively tried to kill myself at least once a year between 2013 and 2018. But I lived. Every single time.

And thank the powers that be that I did. Bc I've been able to do so SO much with my life. I mean, even before my brain really decided "hey fuck this" I was doing good.

But that's the thing. I dont NEED to good. Something I've learned (and still struggle with tbh) is that I don't have to justify my existence. At all. I could do absolutely nothing with my life and it's still valuable

At the end of the day, the week, the month, the year, the life, my HUSBAND(!) loves me. He moved away from everything he had ever known to be with me.

He'd never admit this, but I think he likes America better. If just for the food. (Sorry to my British friends but we got u beat there)

What I'm trying to say is

Actually. Idk what I'm trying to say. I'm sobering up and I'll deal w the brynjolf pegging nonsense tomorrow(/later (it's not tomorrow until I sleep goddamnit)).

Ig I'm just grateful. For this blog. For my life. There's a good metaphor out there somewhere. A dog wants a chocolate chip bagel, more than anything, and begs and whines and whimpers for it.

The dog, being a dog, doesn't understand that that bagel will KILL it. And not only hurt the poor dog, but everyone who loves the dog.

There was once a time I thought I wanted to die. More than ANYTHING I thought I wanted to die. I didn't quite understand how that would hurt the people in my life. How my (at the time) shit mental health and even shittier ways of dealing w it hurt those around me.

How if I, god forbid, really did kill myself, so many people would miss me. And I don't mean just my absence on social media. I mean people who love me. My friends. My family. My brothers and sister.

My husband. Who has known me since 2013. Can you believe that? We've known each other ten entire years. And I'm glad we were friends first. I'm glad we had figured out how to speak each other's language (something I truly struggled with until 2019) before we tried a relationship.

And even people I don't know. I have saved lives (no further detail; hipaa violation). There are people alive because I am also alive. Because for some reason the powers that be dictated that I woke up in a hospital instead of hell. Over and over and over.

Idk. Idk what I mean by all of this. I guess I'm just. Grateful. Grateful I'm alive. Grateful I have this blog. Grateful for the numerous and wonderful new friends I've mad lately. Grateful that in spite of everything, I'm still me.

Goodnight, I'll see everyone tomorrow and/or Monday (whenever I'm not busy).

I love you guys. I do. Securi dormi.

[dismantling-casteism]

iim personAlly glAd you've mAnAged to do thiis. iit giives me hope thAt one dAy we lowbloods wiill fiinAlly riise up And topple AlterniiA's current government And mAybe even the condesce herself!!!!!!!! then we cAn mAke A whole new sociiety!! wiithout the hemospectrum!!! becAuse ii know dAmn well iif my story got publiic iin my AreA ii would be blAmed for events And not the hiighbloods thAt unfortunAtely fiilled my piitch&&Ashen quAdrAnts. ugh. but fuck yeAh!!!!!!!!!! who giives A dAmn whAt blood we bleed, we're All the sAme speciies Arent we? we shouldnt be diiviided liike whAt the hiighbloods wAnt. we should come together becAuse we Are stronger together!!! yeAh!!!!!!!!!!!!! ii AlwAys hAve you&&thiis blog iin my thoughts becAuse ii reAlly Admiire your confiidence. lets just hope you cAn Avoiid gettiing culled Anytiime soon. ;;) -@curatedgeologist

I don't have words to describe how happy this makes me. ( and I have a lot of protections in place to ensure I don't get culled because of this blog, you needn't worry! )

Genuinely, us trolls are all the same in the end. We all have individual traits, and we might all bleed different hues, but at the end of the day we still bleed. We still have those same bloodpumpers keeping us alive. Life shouldn't be 'us vs them', life should just be 'us'!

Blood types shouldn't dictate anything except your biology, and that is something I hope we can all come to learn. I really do appreciate your support Aziisha :]

[neurodivenport]

okay. shit thats been on my mind.

there is absolutely no reason for one person's childish, pathetic, abusive and stalkerish actions to dictate everyone else's happiness. it's unfair that someone can go around hurting people, spewing insults, making everyone else's experience in a small fandom a living breathing hell for no reason other than the fact that they're selfish.

we all deserve a safe space here. we all deserve a place to talk about media we enjoy, have fun with each other and fucking breathe.

if someone asks you to stop talking about them, stop talking about them. that is a boundary. respect it. if someone asks you to stop harassing other people about them, that is a boundary. respect it.

we all need to stop checking each other's blogs. we all need to stop screenshotting people's posts and sending them to people who have them blocked. just block someone, stop looking at their fucking blog, leave it alone, leave them alone, and never talk again. don't send people's posts to people if they're talking about them. don't look at people's posts through another browser. if someone makes a post about you, fucking ignore it. the constant drama is so insanely tiring and would end so fast if all of us just fucking ignored people we didn't like.

block and move on. block and move on. block and move on. no "truces", no "mutual agreements", no "talking it out", you have a block button for a reason, use it and move on. that's what i've learned from years of being in fandom spaces. there is no "talking things out". just fucking block them and move on.

it's easier for all of us. it helps less people get hurt, it helps stop drama before it even starts.

i am so tired of seeing people relentlessly argue, i am tired of being messaged screenshots of people i've blocked talking about me, i am tired of being involved in absolutely exhausting drama every single day. leave each other alone. looking at people's blogs who you know are talking shit about you is doing nothing but hurting you. sending people screenshots of things people are saying about them is doing nothing but hurting them.

block. and. move. the. fuck. on.

[sailorzakuro]

Actually I'm going to use this space to put all these thoughts down cos I keep thinking about it and idk maybe someone can relate but although I'm still very much a part of fandom culture (I recently joined the Stranger Things fandom if anyone's at all interested) I really just Don't give a fuck about shipping. Like it's not even like I'm actively trying to not care about it. I truly don't give a fuck.

So for example, I joined the Stranger Things fandom (very late I know I'm sorry I watched the whole series I'm obsessed with Robin Buckley if you want to see me talk about that my twitter is smalltownrobin) and that show is like ships galore, especially with the group of characters I have the most interest in. The "older teens" group of characters (like Robin, Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie, that lot) get most of that, and I've just never found myself caring. People heavily debating whether Nancy will "end up" with Jonathan or Steve? I don't care. I'm chill with either, I'm chill with none. Even people who ship Nancy with Robin, or prefer Robin with Vickie, honestly I just want Robin to kiss a girl I don't give a fuck who it is. THE STEDDIE RAMPAGE I'm glad it's making people happy but I'm fine either way, and I don't actively seek content for it out. I'd say the only pairing I care about on that show is Robin and Steve's platonic friendship, THAT I love I am obsessed but like. they've already reached the "goal" of their relationship so it's not like there's any official title that the show writers or fans can give to them or take away. It's an easier life overall and I'm pretty happy.

I really don't know what's done this to me, cos I used to LOVE shipping, I remember in high school my friends and I used to have seriously intense conversations about which Fairy Tail characters worked best together. I made two entire videos on why people should ship Cheryl and Veronica from Riverdale (and even now ages after I stopped watching and it turns out they had a 100% platonic fan service kiss I DON'T CARE THAT IT HAPPENED). The point is something's just happened to me since those days and now I just don't care. Maybe it's cos my main fandom is kpop where shipping is Not okay and I don't wish to involve myself in the romantic lives of real people dictating to them what I think they should do with their personal endeavours, but yeah. I don't care. It's not a bad thing if you are into shipping, you know, enjoy yourselves, if it brings you joy and it's not hurting anyone go ahead.

All that being said I still very much care about Thasmin but we're never going to get any more of them now so. fuck.

Did anyone bother to read that I'm sorry 🙃 I know I barely post on here anymore, I converted it to my SCD blog but then couldn't be bothered talking about it so this is kind of empty now. I talk about the fandoms I did talk about on here on my twt so I guess if you're still interested in my fandom opinions go on there? I cannot promise I'll convert this blog to anything to make it active again I might just pop in every so often and rant about something completely random ✌️

[marlasomething]

He compartido 4468 publicaciones este 2022

¡Son 3361 más que en 2021!

100 publicaciones originales (2 %)

4368 reblogueos (98 %)

Estos son los blogs que más he reblogueado:

@khaleesiinatardis

@a-mag-a-day

@little-lamb-lyosha

@trajektoria

@p1nkwitch

He etiquetado 194 publicaciones en 2022

#magnuspod: 62 publicaciones

#fanfic: 59 publicaciones

#the magnus archives: 56 publicaciones

#tma: 52 publicaciones

#writing: 44 publicaciones

#fic: 39 publicaciones

#ao3: 38 publicaciones

#fanfiction: 29 publicaciones

#self-promo: 22 publicaciones

#a mag a day: 22 publicaciones

Longest Tag: 53 characters

#right after i finished a tma episode...it was...weird

Mis publicaciones más populares este 2022:

5

Well, I have finished Dracula ONCE AGAIN...am I crying? Maybe, yeah.

This has been the time I enjoyed most right next to the very first read (because I obviously didn’t expect Dracula to be THAT).

I KNEW, I BLOODY KNEW that the last parragraphs basically put Mina in the status of main hero of the novel and YET, it caught me

21 notas. Fecha de publicación: 7 de noviembre de 2022

4

Zutara Month (Day 23): This Isn't My Idea

Hello there!

As usual, I cannot see a "challenge" and let it go so...Zutara month it is! First time writing for the fandom, I won't be able to do ALL DAYS (today, for example, I wrote this still on the nick of time, but now it is already technically the 25th...eh, sorry @zutaramonth)

I promise to write something Zutara based after this month a bit longer, I swear.

As usual, do please forgive my quick tipper and non-native speaker mistakes, MarlaAllons-y!

Also in AO3

Everyone in every corner of the world agreed: Katara was a Hero, with capital H.

Not only had she helped The Avatar himself to finish off with the worst dictator that humanity had seen in ages, but she was now   sacrificing herself   by marrying off to his son; so the peace with the Fire Nation became even more undeniable and, therefore, unbreakable.

Obviously, everybody knew this was just an arranged marriage for, as much as Prince Zuko (he still insisted he wasn’t ready yet to be   King Zuko  ), he was still the man that once had been every person fighting for freedom’s foe.

Also, she was the best friend of Aang;   it was crystal clear   they ought to have been in love. This was a tale as old as time: best hero-friends always fell in love.

Still, as much as they commented how mad and sad it made them the two heroic figures ending up together, they understood and thanked the now already young woman (no longer a teenager) for taking up such heavy weight over her shoulders.

They just wished Prince Zuko was more as he was trying to be in public lately than the way they all still pictured him in their minds…

~~~~~

As the doors closed behind them, Zuko buried his face in Katara’s shoulder, who just laughed, with relief.

“I guess now we can stop pretending we are just   good friends   without risking demonstrations all around every nation.”

He smirked at her comment and raised his head to look into her eyes. He still remembered the first time those eyes had truly   seen   him, back when they were still rivals and, yet, she had trusted him…

“I guess so…You know, I would have understood, if you hadn’t wanted to keep them. We are still young and now for a lot of people you are going to just be   Zuko’s wife.”  

She punched him in the arm.

“First of all; it is more hat you are going to become   Katara’s husband   and, secondly…I…I mean, we are only in our early twenties, but we have lived so much I feel ready to be a mom…as long as Iroh is around to help.”

Both laughed.

“How could he not be?” he held her hand. “Still…I am sorry so many people are going to think this is just an arranged marriage.”

“Well, I mean, as Toph said…all marriages   need to be   arranged, whatever the reason for said arrangement, that is our personal fucking business.”

                       And theirs was as good as they came.

25 notas. Fecha de publicación: 25 de abril de 2022

3

MARLA’S 2022 AO3 MASTERLIST

Hello there, Marla here!

This year I won’t be as messy as last year with my writing organisation so I am doing a 2022 Masterlist of everything published on AO3 to be updated as new stuff arrives! Yaih! All my nonsense at your disposition!

And, if you want to see what I wrote the previous year, not to worry, here it is my 2021 AO3 Masterlist

Now, with further ado, allons-y!

Long life and prosperity,

Marla

(The) Amelia Project

Amelia Caller: Dawn of the Characters: script I based my phone call recording ON THE AMELIA FEED on

Manage Your Clon-ishgo: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 1)

This Could Be Me: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Last of the Real Ones: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 2)

The Fools Who Dream: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 3)

Louder than the Weather: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Goodbye To My Life: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 4)

It’s the Hitmen’s Life: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Fakenniversary: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 5)

Everything Just Here All At Once: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

ATLA

Go Now:  Zutara Month 2022

This Isn’t My Idea: Zutara Month 2022 

Tea Nation: Zutara Month 2022 

...Let Your Heart Decide?: Zutara Month 2022 

Lonely Nation: High-school AU Zuko-centric

(The) Evil Dead

The Sorta Kinda Winding Road: Original Trilogy + 2013 Film crossover-ish

Good Omens

So Unaware Of My Status: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge

The Sound Of Leathered Women!: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge 

Girl With A Tongue: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge 

Descúbrela

43 notas. Fecha de publicación: 5 de enero de 2022

2

Lucy’s (My) Mom

Ok, a lot of people have already commented this, but from the very first time I read Dracula as a teen (right when I was starting to discover ‘sometimes parents do harmful things and even if the intentions are good there is no compulsory reason to automatically forgive them) I just couldn’t help but being extremely UPSET about Lucy’s mom.

It is not only this whole garlic incident, that is the equivalent of, for example, ‘I don’t understand why you keep going to the psycologist if you are not depressed anymore’: it doesn’t matter wether you have all the data or not, if someone is doing something that is ‘out of the usual norm’ and is very clearly related to a Health issue...let it BE or try to understand it, don’t take matters into your own hands and then BE PROUD OF ACTING OUT OF IGNORANCE.

The worst part, though, it’s all the previous behaviour. The whole not letting her sleep with her when it was clearly something HER DAUGHTER NEEDED, her being upset about Lucy’s FRIEND taking care of her (likely bcs she believed she knew better than her own daughter the people around her and their true intentions -again, been there-)...

...so yeah, I dislike her and, even though it is true more could have been communicated to her:

a) it is a horror story, lack of communitacion is almost a must

b) none of her actions should be done, no matter how much you know about the matter

69 notas. Fecha de publicación: 13 de septiembre de 2022

Mi publicación más popular de 2022

About Dracula Daily..

I know I am constantly saying this but...I am in TEARS about how much people are enjoying Dracula for the first time. It is one of my favourite novels of all times, I have read it three times and a half (I am counting Dracula Daily as the Fourth) and I usually having such a hard time trying to convince people about how AMAZING this(these) story(ies) is(are).

Fuck, whoever began Dracula Daily...I owe you my soul (and, please, we should do this with more classical pieces of literature)

Also, for today’s update:  Farewell dear Captain, you will be remembered

247 notas. Fecha de publicación: 4 de agosto de 2022

Descubre tu resumen del 2022 en Tumblr →

[noodlemethis]

"Life's pretty good"

she said, in response to my asking how she's doing. She said it in a matter of fact way, a simple fact, not much thought needed, no hesitation nor justification. But it left me in a state I can't describe with just one word. It's when you feel your body-soul be pulled both forward and backward at the same time, and your heart space falls downwards into an empty cave. I felt winded even though my body was filling itself with in air quite desperately.

I stood there stunned in silence. But all the while allowing, or maybe forcing, my outer self to nod and coo something like "ooo wow" or "how so" or "what's been good recently". Meanwhile in the empty cave, I took a few seconds to get my bearings. I considered: Okay. That was a wild response. I can't believe she's truly just so happy. It makes sense though that her life is pretty good. She's got her girlfriend, her job she likes, she's doing her masters, she lives on her own. All the aspects of life I wish I had a handle on. Meanwhile I'm so behind ...

I felt the familiar sting of a very particular envy wash through the cave, for just a few moments. Worried that my friend would realize i had slipped off from the conversation into another dimension, I quickly tabled the background voices until the end of the meal.

I didn't want to start this blog writing about hard things. But trying to find something else to talk about hasn't been working. My brain just oscillates between 3 negative emotions every day: envy, disappointment and anxiety. I envy my loved ones, my peers, who 'have a handle on' their lives. They know where they're going, or who they're going with, why they're going where they are going, and even what they want to be doing as they navigate. I don't have answers to any of those questions. Not even one. The anxiety builds. Will I ever find the answer? Will I grow old so unremarkable, having done none of the flashy world-saving things my teen self envisioned we would do? The disappointment rattles me. I feel a familiar freezing touch of hopelessness.

"I should move to another country. It'll help me find myself". I fast pan outwards, shifting the view back to anxiety. No, no. I can't do life without my friends, my support system. Alone in another country? For what? So that I can scare myself shitless working towards I don't even know what? I should say with her. With all of them. I shouldnt waste the time I have with my loved ones. Because soon, they will move too, for real. When their whats and whys dictate that they should. I'll be alone later, I shouldnt waste the together time now. Their life doesn't follow mine in the way that I look to and follow them. I'll lose them.

I shouldn't chase happiness. I shouldn't be so locked in rigidity. I should try new things. I should be communicative. I should clean my room. I shouldn't waste my time playing games. I should be strong. I shouldn't give up.

It's really hard to describe what I feel in that space between. The hollow drop heart space. The body-soul empty cave. I just know I hate it. I hate life. God do I wish I could say life's pretty good without a second thought. But my life is a fucking circus. A Ferris wheel ride. I sit and it moves. I anticipate the view to eventually get good- I wait as patiently as I can for the rotation to finally be worth all this time spent. But every time I look out, the view is always just a little underwhelming. Every night I wonder why I got on the ride. And why I'm still on it.

[peachiekinz]

i don’t know who i am. i don’t know what i want. if you are looking for friendship, i can tell you that i don’t have spoons most days, but what i do have are a very particular set of interests. interests i have acquired over a very long life. interests that make me a nightmare for neurotypicals to handle. if you don’t follow me or reblog my posts, that’ll be the end of it. i will not message you, i will not bother you. but if you do, i will follow you, i will message you, and i will annoy you. 🤓🤭

hi, i’m lisa, i’m 30 and i never fucking learned how to cope healthily.

i’m weird. i’m a weirdo. i don’t fit in and i don’t wanna fit in with anyone who would mock someone for their taste in tv shows, or any other reason, for that matter. don’t mock people, it’s hurtful & not funny at all.

if you haven’t noticed yet, i love to communicate in references from tv shows & movies, in one form or another. my favourite is to share the exact clip from the thing, but it can’t always be found, second best is a gif, again if it can be found & i remember where the reference is from, which doesn’t always happen either 🫣🤭 i also really like to communicate my emotions with emojis! although, they don’t always mean what you think they mean, because apparently i don’t use emojis as dictated by social media.. but i don’t remember getting a handbook… so i just use the ones i like the most, and assume you understand the meanings 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣🤭. if you don’t, just ask 😊

although i like to use pop culture to communicate, i consider myself to be a huge noob. mainly just on the internet, but technically i’m a big noob in most aspects of life… but specifically in the sense that i’ve never put myself online, never had a community of acquaintances. i’ve just never felt comfortable displaying any part of myself in a digital form. now that’s not to say i’ve never used the internet before. i’ve been on websites. i’ve been using tumblr off and on for so long, i don’t remember when i made my first blog. all i know is it doesn’t exist anymore. and even then, i just mass-reblogged my hyperfixation of the moment, each topic with its own blog.. that was so hard to manage, i just gave up & quit tumblr. then some time after that, when i decided to put a part of myself online for the first time, i met my now- ex husband. let’s just say, it didn’t end well.. it took me finding a small community of people on twitter, of all places, to become even slightly comfortable with internet strangers knowing things about me.

while i've learned a lot from that community, it made me slightly less comfortable with large groups of people. i find socializing in general to be very draining, i think because i'm usually masking & forcing myself to conform to normalcy in order to be appealing to others. the more i unmask, the less people stay around me, and i'm not complaining. i’m pretty much entirely unable to unmask in the presence of people. groups of people, even just internet people, perceiving me is one of the worst feelings ever.. i’m terrified of having a lot of people seeing me, my posts, my thoughts & my real personality… but at the same time … i really would like some people to relate to, in more ways than just one or two things in common. i guess the only way of finding that would be to put my dumb little complaints online & hope someone vibes with it in the same way i do… 🫣🤣

[ddelline]

holy shit this. ok apologies all minus 3 people who actively follow this blog but I wanna elaborate on why the above is very important, and why career and passion should never be default assumed to go hand in hand. this is gonna be long and possibly Unpopular Opinions galore. great thing I suppose is it’s my blog so I can rant about whatever I want lol. anyway scroll past or strap in, we’re gonna talk about: neoliberal economics, its effects on labor (& cultural labor spec) & why said effects and developments are harmful as all shit. if u don’t wanna partake in my angry word vomiting, I got u: just scroll. if u do, pls head to below the cut

ok let’s dive into it. I’ve spent the years 16-28 working with three of my Major life passions. working myself to the f*cking bone, bc 1) you should strive to work w something you love 2) since you’re now working with smth you love, it means that you’re already when heading into it, considering it as more than your work. you tell yrself to not overdo it, but still do, bc u know, u love it. and—

it’s just not worth it. in before ppl come in here actively misunderstanding: I’m not saying you shouldn’t work w a passion of yours; working w something you’re passionate about can be amazing and rewarding—but it does not at all have to be like that (and in many cases, the reward you get at the end does not come near outweighing the actual labor you put into it. moreover, labor =/= automatically equating enjoyment. it can. but it never should be a cornerstone of your happiness, imo). moreover, labor has never before ca 1980 been so intrinsically tied to your personal worth, growth, and enjoyment. this is not what labor means. it never has. and then came the de-specialization, the capitalization, and the de-institutionalizing, of cultural labor.

we’re living in an age where labor has been reinvented as something reflexive/disembedded & individualized/self-fulfilling, straying farther from traditional labor, instead becoming something marketed as essential to your own person. the dichotomy of being a cog in a post-capitalist wheel, and working towards maintaining an inherently f*cked system, which never serves to reward you, only profit off of you. the only thing it’s ever served, is keeping you alive within the parameters of said f*cked up system. traditional labor wasn’t ever fantastic (read above) but the neoliberal marketing ploy which literally sells labor as so many micro-opportunities of self realization/actualizations—phew brother. you are not defined by your work. your worth is not defined by what kind of work you have. an important or fulfilling job is NOT something which you need to actively enjoy. work is work. it can overlap. but only if that’s what you want. I’m sick and tired of hearing this bullshit propaganda dictating that ‘if you enjoy what you do you’ll never work a day in your life’. holy shit the person who first said that should be posthumously hunted down and shot. idc that they’re probs already dead.

aight ok let’s slow down here, lol sry tumbl-er, this is just Pissing Me The Fuck Off, always (it pissed me off so greatly I wrote a 15k thesis on it. will try to make it somewhat shorter here) once again, for some people ‘new labor’, as defined and elaborated on by mcrobbie (Clubs to Companies: Notes on the Decline of Political Culture in Speeded up Creative Worlds, 2002)—an absolutely elite article on this topic, moreover, highly rec’d—as being de-specialized, hyper individualized, de-structured, and impermanent —particularly when talking about the cultural sector—despite how shitty I made it sound there, it makes a lot of sense. there’s nothing to say that individualized work which directly serves to actualise a lot of yourself is bad. it can be amazing. I know tons of people who thrive because traditional labor structures, and the permanence of actual labor, has been deconstructed and become so reflexive. I’m happy for them. what pisses me tf off is being sold this neo-liberal bullshit dreamscape which paints self-fulfilling work—first of all, read that sentence and digest it as the high key contradictory term it is—as being essential to life? it’s just not. I’ve crunched on average 65-70h work weeks (overtime unpaid, but always ‘appreciated’) for over 10 years, trying to satisfy my inherent desire to Be Incredible At My Passion Job, because it’s my dream job/my passion (ofc also in part bc I’m an inherent people pleaser w emotional baggage, and yes ofc it contributes as one part of the overarching sum, but it’s never been at the heart of the issue, not really). and since it is my dream job/my passion—it stands to reason I should want to do it, as my job, 24/7, 7 days/week, 365 days/year, right?

no it fucking does not.

I’m coming up on year 2 in my 3rd ‘passion job’ career trajectory and I’ve never been so sick and tired of working with something I enjoy. ok I want to take the time here, in before potential ‘well that’s super unhealthy but no one forced u to do that’ — no ofc not, lol, but that’s the point here. there’s obvs a whole damn bunch of things I should do differently. but also a myriad things my employer should do differently, first of all to limit how much I can work. then again that’s also a recurring romanticized aspect of reflexive cultural labor, esp within the cultural sector: there’s rarely any money to be earned, and 110% always entirely too much work to be done—and since you’re so passionate about this, you can, and are low key encouraged, to work all the time. as long as you can handle it. and you can handle it. for a long time. for longer than you think, actually. but you really just shouldn’t. at the end of the day individualized reflexive labor in the cultural sector promotes the capitalist/neoliberal idea of work = self fulfilling + a key part of your identity. it allows you to work w your hobbies, promoting individual growth/self actualization/enjoyment as not only being a part or a result of your labor, but essential to your life and the enjoyment thereof. I can go off on a more in-depth tangent also about individualization/de-institutionalizing cultural & arts labor = genuine fuckfest when considering the temporospatial aspects of work. being spatially + temporally unbound to a workplace, means work can (and should) be able to be done anywhere, at any time. we’re already so bogged down by the idea of “being able to do things on the go, from anywhere” being a neat fucking concept—and yeah fine, that’s pretty neat. it is. but then you consider this concept of being temporally and spatially unbound, as a worker, who also happens to be working with a ‘non-traditional’, perhaps even typically hobby-adjacent, type job—and all of a sudden it’s not so much that you can work anywhere/any time, you’re actively being encouraged (or in a better scenario, discouraged, though still not forbidden) to work any place, and any time.

I’m honestly not able to bring this back around in as stylized or succinct terms as I’d like, bc I’m sleep deprived and Worked Up lmao. just this: if reflexive individualized work works for you, I’m really happy for you—for some it’s truly a dream. my point is just that your work should never in the first place be a measurement which you utilize to measure your self worth. nor should you get bought by the neoliberal, post-capitalist, we! love! the privatization and commercialization of art and culture!—argument that your work somehow needs to be something which brings you joy in the same way that your hobbies bring you joy. they can be the same thing. they never have to be. I’m twelve years in to working and honestly I’m not a person who is capable of working with a passion, whilst at the same time enjoying it as an actual hobby/passion. and I always thought I had to. resolution for 2024 is to find as boring a job as possible, so I can actually dedicate some fucking time and thought to enjoying something, not integrating the enjoyment of that thing in to my work, and very quickly losing both the perspective on hobby vs work, and what work is in the first place. and low key experiencing extremely confusing depressive moments after spending so many hours wondering why I’m not better at x and y in my job, since my self worth is so intrinsically tied to my job? ah yeah also if you are one of the people who actually feels blessed by being able to work w your hobby, and for whom reflexive cultural labor = great—your worth is still never dependent on yr job. or yr execution of said job.

that’s that on that.

jaysus h christ on a crutch I need to shut up now. if u actually read to this point I hope u got smth out of it. lol. bc

these are very wise (and very real) words. believe me.