#end my suffering- | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

asenarieka · 5 months ago

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We spend o n e day outside of the house and somehow managed to trigger literally everything-

POTS flare up, endo/adeno flare up, a nasty cold :')

Man I hate being chronically ill.

Even Envy is losing his mind-

We just wanna have one normal day without being stuck in a room doing nothing :\

And as a bonus we gotta take care of the house for the whole weekend as my parents thought it would be a perfect time to leave-

I'll stop talking now and just take my meds and sleep-

#❄️: Astrid's rambles #❌: vents #end my suffering-#I need to sleep but i really don't want to-

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nadasaftawi · 5 months ago

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Life is unbearable. Please save my children; I don't want them to die in Gaza. If I don't survive, please don't forget them. Save them after I'm gone.❤️🙏

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ruporas · 5 months ago

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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #blood tw #ruporas art #love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands #being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity #i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli #and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected #someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life #ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash #for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it #my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma #for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they #both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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shellem15 · 3 months ago

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Can I just say, I really appreciate how Critical Role plays the Devil trope straight. There's been this phenomena in a lot of modern media (I'm not going to mention specifics but I'm sure a few examples pop up in people's minds) where Hell and the Devil aren't scary or malevolent forces. Hell is portrayed as being basically the same as our world just "edgier", and the Devil is a pretty decent guy actually. Heaven are secretly the real bad guys!

But Critical Role doesn't do that. In Exandria, Asmodeus *feels* like the Devil. He's malevolent and manipulative and terrifyingly powerful and he hates you, personally. We never see that type of portrayal anymore! And it's amazing! And he still manages to be sympathetic and tragic without losing his edge!

And the "Good Gods" are portrayed as flawed without being secretly evil or something! Like, actual nuance? In my Heaven/Hell dichotomy? What!?

It's just such a breath of fresh air after so many "The Devil was right, actually" stories. So props to Matt and Brennan and the cast.

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lucabyte · 3 months ago

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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks #hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature #ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual #isat spoilers #isat #isat fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #lucabyteart #RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete #they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot

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idolomantises · 2 months ago

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I actually didn’t notice that all of Isaac’s appearances have ended with him suffering until some people pointed it out 💀

#txt #monsters and girls #in my head I was thinking ‘no no. there’s one comic that ends happy’ BUT THERE ISNT #WHY IS HE HERE? JUST TO SUFFER?

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hinamie · 3 months ago

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domain expansion

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #yuji itadori #itadori yuuji #fanart #jjk fanart #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jjk leaks #jjk 264 #yuuji #help she entered a fugue state and finished a painting in 7 hours again #I still wish with all my heart that wed gotten megumi but HOLDS UP YUUJI THATS MY BOYYYYYYY #god his face is Messed Up i feel so bad #but i do think this is how ill go about drawing the injuries from now on :'>#just a Mess of flesh tones on that boy :((((( maybe shoko can kiss it better #anyway towards the end of drawing this my llsif pilled brain supplied 'domain expansion: happy party train' and i think its a keeper #yuuji if u havent picked a name yet pls consider thank u <3 #a train station tho......as much of a vibe as it is i SUFFERED #the high ceilings full of pipework...the parallel lines....thank god i make the rules and dont actually have to detail it all #i love u vague lines that convey Essence Of Room #i think it works !!! i feel like im waiting fr a train n watching time slow around me as the lights stretch #btw the rake brush is SO good fr making lil bits of stretched light like u r squinting . i love it i have fun #anyway enjoy !!! him!!!! we r truly in yuuji kaisen i never Once doubted my boy

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zhukzucraft · 5 months ago

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=====>

As the strange world around you flashes, you close your eyes and open them again to the sun setting on the first day of the new game.

You are back at spawn and you are not alone.

Skizz: Mumbo!!!!

Mumbo: Oh my goodness

Mumbo: Skizz!

Mumbo: It was you!

Skizz: Yep!

Skizz: You and I are joined at the hip now, my guy, so you better get used to it!!

Mumbo: Oh

Mumbo: You-

Mumbo: You really chose to stay with me so fast? I'd barely even finished reading the rules!

Skizz: Yeah, what was there to think about? I knew my buddy wouldn't betray me!

Mumbo: But we're already down to yellow

Mumbo: Because of me

Mumbo: I just...

Mumbo: I don't even know how it happened, honestly, I'm so sor-

Skizz: Hey, who cares about that! You know what's important?

Skizz: You and I are together now!

Skizz: And if we put together that big smart brain of yours and these guns we will be unstoppable!

Mumbo: ah

Mumbo: Right.

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Start Over -- Go Back

#quadruple life #life smp fan session #mumbo jumbo #skizzleman #dapper duo (<- that's the name discord gave their team and i love it) are on their maiden voyage #Mumbo's suffering is only just beginning #he will be tortured with compliments and affirmations till the game ends #btw the cat is totally ok now! sorry to have worried you #didn't expect so many ppl to be reading my tags hehe

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choccy-milky · 3 months ago

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part 3 to my modern AU 💞🍺 (part 1 / part 2)

#u just know seb ended up carrying her home in the end anyway BAHHA if u read my fic u already know im weak for bridal carries #fun fact the blurred party backgrounds i used are screenshots from diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules. aka the pinnacle of cinema #and its only fitting since i base my modern seb very largely on rodrick bc I STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON RODRICK...rodrick heffley my beloved #yall also already know i love guard dog seb (especially combined with drunk clora BAHAH) so ofc i had to do the modern au ver #i just make clora the type of drunk i am... aka drunk after 2 and sometimes even 1 drink and then i get super affectionate with everyone #which would make seb seethe if it were clora BAHAHAH omg i love imagining his suffering😇😍😍#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x oc #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian x mc #clora clemons #also wahhh i can feel my HL brainrot fading a bit...🥲probs bc my fic is now complete... might make a post abt it soon #im not ready to let go😭😤#choccyart

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year ago

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finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for?#open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer)#maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already.#really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings)#(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time)#(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.)#(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

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plumeriacosmos · 7 months ago

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PENELOPE LOOKS SO GORGEOUS IN THIS OUTFIT LIKE SHE IS AN ACTUAL DISNEY PRINCESS IN HERE 😭😭😭😭 HER SMILE, THE COLOR ON HER, THE WAY HER EYES ARE SPARKLING

why did it just had to be debling she was talking to 😭😭😭😭

COLIN WHERE ARE YOU TAKE HER AWAY NOW

#sunnie thoughts #bridgerton #bridgerton tv #penelope featherington #COLIN BRIDGERTON COME GET YOUR WIFE #I CANT DEAL WITH PENELOPE LOOKING AT A MAN LIKE THIS #PLEASE END MY SUFFERING #polin #polin bridgerton

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bullzquid · 5 months ago

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