#encountering something that causes all of that to break in an instant. and they really truly feel fear. makes me go fucking NUTS

[goldenageofwireless]

i dont think about Mind enough i have GOT to be more autistic about him. someone just posted an animation in the cjfs thats got me thinking about him soooo hard . like. him actually showing that he's afraid of Soul. How terrified would Mr "my logic is the absolute" have to be to let himself show fear. especially in front of Heart. RHFJHGFJGHFJGHDF scampering around my enclosure

[mellowmagnolia]

Lol, just imagine Belphegor who develops a revenge kink. Revenge directed at him. Or more like degradation kink but with revenge as the main theme.

He wants MC to be brutal and unforgiving. To use him as their own personal toy. Use him as they please, when they please. Because now he will submit thanks to his guilt. He will show MC what a good boy he has become. That he is now docile and ready to do everything that's asked of him.

POV: Belphegor is eaten by guilt so much after what he's done to them that now after realizing the crush he's had on MC from their very first meeting he wants to be choked by them while they ride him.

Ahahaa I have so many scenarios in my head!

So below is some smut with AFAB/feminine reader, no/neutral pronouns + mommy kink so be warned 👋

Belphegor kept watching you from a safe distance ever since "the attic incident". You were reluctant to treat him like you did the others in fear of a reaction from him. Sure, everyone was supposed to make peace and move on, preferably forget what had happened. But both you and Belphegor knew that was easier said than done. The weeks following that chain of events, everyone seemed to be under the mutual agreement that no one will ever mention that again. Although the tension could be felt at mealtimes, or whenever you and Belphie were in the same room, no one seemed to let out a whisper of that day.

Belphegor felt like he was in a hell of his own making. He desperately wanted to get closer to you, but didn't know how. And he felt this pressure building up and not relenting in the slightest whenever another day has gone by without speaking to you. He really wanted to make amends. He wanted to explain to you how in a strange and ironic sort of way, he started liking you long before he did the unforgivable to you. Not even two encounters in, and he started feeling the tell tale sign of a crush developing.

He started to like your little talks. He started to look forward to them. Granted, there was not much to be done in the long breaks between your conversations, but that wasn't just boredom. No, he started to take notice of how your RAD uniform was hugging your figure. How your skirt rode up just slightly when you sat down so you could chill with him by the door. He loved your laugh whenever you recounted something funny that happened that day. He loved that you were genuine in wanting to help him and his family. So one would then naturally ask: what was he thinking when he strangled you if he already liked you?

Well, that's a little bit more complicated to try and explain for him. You see, he never expected you to be able to open that door. And as he was taking his usual nap, his dreams got interrupted by nightmares of the war. Then you came and interrupted those nightmares by calling his name. He was shocked to say the least. Waking up in a cold sweat, his eyes were fixed on you, and in an instant a wave of emotions came flooding. You were sweet, yes, but you were also a reminder of his cause of suffering. How could he start developing feelings for you? His head was spinning. He felt like he was betraying Lilith with his little crush. He felt like he was responsible for her death all over again.

And that was the moment he striked. Seeing red, his pulse was throbbing in his ears as his hands kept squeezing around your throat. He felt a crush, but he kept going. It's like his muscles were refusing to cooperate. His fingers kept themselves locked. And then he realized the noises you were making stopped. And that you sat there, limp, held up only by his hands. He felt his stomach drop and a cold sweat forming on his brow. Your mouth hung open and your lifeless eyes were staring at the ceiling. He couldn't process yet. He didn't want to admit he did that. Belphegor tossed your body down the stairs, where it landed with a loud thud. Footsteps came rushing in, all his brothers were coming in to see what caused the commotion.

The demon sat still, hearing little more than his own labored breath. He felt several pairs of eyes on him. It was fear and disbelief he was feeling. But he couldn't let that show. He needed to play it cool, perhaps that would help them forget about it faster. Here and there, between his own racing thoughts, he could hear his brothers addressing him. He put on his act, like he rehearsed in his head just a few seconds before, when his mind was going a mile a minute. He could hear Mammon sobbing. He had to say something. What came out of his mouth was not in accordance with his feelings. Not even a little. But he had to do this in hopes they'll forget, forget about MC and forget about the whole exchange program. For the best of all. And after a couple of minutes, which felt like an eternity of suffering and desperation, to the surprise of everyone, there you stood, alive and unharmed, next to the vanishing clone that Mammon was gripping in his arms.

Now Belphegor was at a loss on how to mend your relationship. He could start by trying to spend more time with you. Always with another brother of his nearby, though. He understood your reluctance. But he couldn't help but be a little selfish. He wanted you all to himself. He wanted to have a moment with you, one where he could pour his heart out to you and tell you how sorry he felt. But the timing was never right. And after several days of trying to control this pressure that was threatening to spill and make a mess, he couldn't hold it in any longer.

It was 1 a.m. and he chose to sleep in the attic that night, in hopes that the added peace of mind of a familiar place would lull him to sleep. That seemed to have the opposite effect. His mind refused to shut up, thoughts circling the same subject: you. With a huff, he got up and grabbed his favorite pillow. His feet seemed to lead him to your door. He chewed on his bottom lip. He knew this was not the best idea. It seemed like too much, too all of a sudden. Yet he couldn't stop his hand from reaching for your door handle and turning it.

As he half-opened the door to your bedroom, he could see the warm light of your bedside lamp contrasting with the blue light of your DDD, as you sat there, scrolling Devilgram. He cleared his throat. Your head turned abruptly in his direction, eyes widened in surprise. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights. He raised his left arm in a non-threatening manner and gave you a little awkward wave. You locked your DDD and sat upright.

"Belphegor? What's up?" You asked, eyebrows raised in concern. "Can't sleep?"

"Something like that..." Was his croaked out reply. Damn, he knew this was stupid. Yet he did it anyway. Typical.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that..." You continued, unsure. Frankly, you didn't know what to do in this scenario. You two have talked very little since the incident. Normally, if it were any other brother, you'd offer to keep them company, be it in your room or their own. But since this was Belphegor, you felt lost.

"Can I..." He started, hand nervously now fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Can we talk?"

That took you by surprise. You felt like this moment would eventually come, but you kept postponing the thought until later. Well, that moment came now and you felt unprepared for such a serious conversation. Yet, you gave a small smile and patted the top of your bedsheets.

"Yeah, sure. Take a seat!" Your tone sounded more cheerful than you have intended, especially given the subject of the conversation you're going to approach, and you felt like slapping yourself.

"Right." His gaze fell to the ground as he approached your bed with measured steps, carefully sitting down next to you. He only dared to take his eyes off your futon for a brief moment, to look into your eyes, and that was enough to knock the wind out of him. You looked at him with big, glossy eyes in anticipation of your talk. He took a sharp inhale in, playing with the zipper on his pillow cover.

"So", he sighed "I know I'm really bad at this, but, can we talk about what happened that day?" He held bis breath and felt his muscles tense awaiting your response.

"Sure. What about that day?" That question came out a little trembled. Shit. You had to be careful. Just the mere thought of that day made you want to cry. And you definitely didn't want to cry in front of him.

"I-I" he cleared his throat again. "I never really apologized to you. Like... properly. I'm sorry, MC. I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused you. I'm sorry for being so cruel and insensitive. I'm so ashamed of what I did a-and I don't know if I can ever make things right with you but I'd love to try!" Belphegor desperately let it all out in one breath. He felt like if you were to interrupt him, he could never manage to get it all out. He wanted to make sure you understood.

And all you did was twist your body so you could face him better. It was hard to keep your tears from spilling. But you refused to wipe your eyes unless absolutely necessary. You just looked in his eyes. And Belphie felt like breaking down in a million pieces. You looked so sad, so...betrayed by his past actions. He broke in a fit of sobs. Instinctively, your arms found their way around him. Squeezing him to your chest as you couldn't contain your tears anymore. You both sat there crying, shaking with your sobs. Belphie returned the embrace. He clung to you just like Mammon did after the incident. Oh, the irony, he thought. You were real, you were here and he was so, so sorry and so, so grateful that Barbatos found a loophole to bring you back to life so he has the chance to apologize and repent.

After a while, you both loosened your grip on each other and made eye contact. Belphegor felt so vulnerable now, still in your arms, forehead lifted from its place at your chest to meet your eyes. You felt a tenderness towards him come over you at that moment. He looked so small and fragile compared to the big bad demon who haunted your nightmares. You wiped his left cheek with your thumb and gave him a shaky smile. And he didn't know what came over him in that moment. He set his palms down by your sides and lifted his head so his lips could kiss yours. Your eyes widened in shock but soon enough you found yourself melting into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He felt emboldened, deepening the kiss. And you felt the same, bringing one hand to close around the hairs at his nape and slowly, gently, pushing him down so he could lay on his backside. You straddled his lap to break your fall and broke the kiss in the process.

"Please" he spoke, through pants "Please punish me. Take your revenge on me!" His whispers were breathless and desperate, his chest rising and falling rapidly, heartbeat in his ears as blood was violently rushing to his face.

You felt a bit taken by surprise by his request. But you were willing to oblige, albeit you didn't know how to start your "punishment".

"If that's what you wish..." you trailed off as you raised his shirt, exposing his nipples. You started kissing him again, now with more fervor, and he happily returned your kisses, letting you take control with your tongue. You started becoming aware of his growing erection as you bucked your hips into him and his breath hitched, making a small noise. You found that cute and endearing, so you kept kissing him lower and lower down his jaw, towards his neck, licking at his pulsing jugular all while keeping the friction between your bodies going. His breathing grew more and more laboured, on the verge of moaning.

It felt surreal to you. As if the roles were reversed and this time you were the predator and he was the prey. At last, your lips reached his left nipple, giving it a gentle suck and a lick. His hips spine curled and his hips bucked into you.

"Ah, yes mommy!" For a moment, everything seemed to screech to a halt. Your eyes snapped to his and all you could hear was both of your ragged breaths. He felt like dying inside. It was too early for that, he knew it, but his horny mouth seemed to have a mind of its own at this point. Instead, you smirked and started kissing lower down his belly, following his happy trail to his now tenting pants. You gently lifted the elastic and removed both the pyjama pants and his boxers in one go.

He felt so sensitive, that just being exposed to the air made his cock twitch. But he was grateful his earlier slip up didn't seem to ruin the mood. Now your wet mouth started exploring his length, beginning from a kiss to the tip and a lick to his underside. Then, carefully holding him from the base with your hand, you took him gently in your mouth. Belphie already felt like fireworks were going off behind his eyelids as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. You prepped him like this, sucking him off for a while, and when you felt satisfied, you took your mouth off him and just when the demon felt like missing the loss of your mouth, he felt you position your slick hole above him. He sat there wordless, holding his breath as you started to push him into your entrance. It felt like pure bliss. Your warm walls embraced his length and gave him a squeeze when he was up to the hilt.

"Good boy!" You praised and he felt his cock twitch again, feeling like he's ready to burst from those two words alone. Then you started moving slowly, gently lifting off his lap and moving your hips in circles when you had him fully inside. The pleasure was dizzying. He felt his hands jump to your hips and he thrust upwards. A little surprised, high pitched moan came out of your mouth. He did that again, only to ellicit the same response. Then again, until he eventually found a rhythm, making you bounce on his lap. You were too far gone to say anything anymore. His thrusts hit your spongy spot so well, that it made you wish the sex would never end.

In a sudden movement, he took a hold of you and spun you so that you were the one now lying on their back. His cock still inside you, he took the time to admire you and brush his fingers over your nipples through the soft fabric of your nightshirt, only to lift it up and latch his mouth around a breast, while the other hand was occupied with gently twisting your nipple. Your spine arched into his mouth.

"I'll make you feel so good, mommy!" It came out a little muffled since he wasn't willing to let go of your breast to speak. He started thrusting again, and you felt him so deep you could swear his tip was kissing your cervix. You could only moan and grab a hold of his horns in response, pulling at his hair in the process. Wait, when did he transform? It didn't matter now, all you could focus on was indeed how good he was making you feel.

"I'll be your obedient lapdog, mommy! I'll be your living dildo, whatever you please. So please, please forgive me!" His dirty talk made your mind reel. You never thought he'd be capable of uttering these words. Especially to you. But it made your stomach flutter at the thought of him wanting to be forgiven so bad he'd degrade himself like that. And to be frank, you were kind of digging it. Before you could give it more thought, you found yourself speaking as well.

"Yes baby, fuck mommy just like that!" That seemed to be all he needed to keep going with renewed vigor, making your walls clench as his thumb started to rub circles on your clit. You couldn't hold your orgasm much longer and Belphegor felt that in the tighening around his cock. With a sudden powerful thrust, you were sent over the edge as your hole started fluttering around his length, which is all Belphegor needed to spill inside of you as well. He let himself fall to your side, your sticky bodies locking in an embrace, the only sounds in the room being your labored breaths as you were trying to recover. Maybe Belphie's new kink was something you could work with.

__________

And that's it folks. Couldn't bring myself to make MC actually degrade him but I think I made Belphie compensate for that though. Hope you enjoyed it ;P

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Gummm gummmm, I hope you had a fine day.

I have a request for you for Sanji from One piece.

He’s falling for a girl for the very first time and she’s falling for him too but both are a little too shy and so sanji takes his heart and goes all in for her to show her his feelings for her and that he’s not only shyly loving her because he’s loving her more than deep, that he really strip himself Butt naked to showing it to her and the whole world what she’s meaning to him.

Sanji - Shy heart

warning : fluff, comfort, true love

masterlist

Info : Gummm Gummm I have a good day thank you anon hope you too. Thanks for this cute request it was really sweet to write it and have fun reading it. Everyon else too :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was for the blond the first time that he had lost his heart to a person. His flirtations were until now directed to actually every woman. He had a heart for all women after he had learned that one had to protect and love them.

It was simply so and he would not break his precept. Since then his heart belonged to every woman. They all had earned in his eye love and affection and especially respect.

Something that Sanji the Gentleman gave them or at least wanted to give them. But since he started with Luffy and the Straw Hat Pirates and they stopped on the small summer island, he had seen them.

Had seen his angel, his heart. It was busy actually to buy new food he had clearly underestimated the hunger of his captain. But when he saw them, the tomatoes flew out of his hand.

The sun seemed to shine on them divinely and the wind that blew through their hair seemed to burn in the blond cook's head like a constantly moving photo. The pretty light summer dress that clung to her body and her legs ended in high heels.

Rounded by the light jewelry and the straw sun hat that reminded him of his captain. ,,Oh please let me help you," her hurried voice snapped him out of his thoughts as the two knelt down to the tomatoes at the same time. It was a normal encounter from the outside, but for the two of them it was something completely different.

For Sanji, for the first time, there seemed to be the one woman he wanted to give all his love to. For his opposite it was also the true only love. When she had seen him well dressed, the blond almost golden hair, the cute arched eyebrow before she had taken her chance and helped him now.

Jumped over her shadow of her fast beating heart and tried to hide her nervousness. They each reached for the red vegetable until she suddenly felt his hand reach for hers.

They had both reached for the same tomato. It tingled on her hand, it tingled in her stomach. her whole body seemed to tingle. ,,Thank you...my-my angel...I am Sanji," the blonde said slowly as he had to think of his words for the first time because she had taken his breath away.

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks as his voice called her that. The nickname so small and yet had so much effect. Straightening up again, he took his hand from hers almost as if he had burned himself. He could not stand the physical contact.

As if the love really burned them both. ,,Angel I-I mean I'm Y/n hello," she replied hastily, staggering to face him, which caused her to quickly take her hemp down again. Oh, by the One Piece, get a grip, she said in near panic, smiling nervously at him.

She felt her heart fly out of her chest at any moment. But the blond chef felt the same way, his heart seemed to burst out of his chest as well. They never seemed so close and yet. But it was love at first sight between them.

She saw how the blond wanted to say something, his mouth opened and she hoped to hear his pleasant voice again. When a bright voice of a black-haired boy with a straw hat could be heard and seen coming towards the two.

Luffy truly had a talent for breaking situations that simply needed a little more time. But when the blonde turned to his captain, Y/n could no longer stand the sitaution.

In an instant she fled the scene, heart pounding, hoping he would find it. While she was running for her life, hoping and wishing at the same time that he would chase her and not chase her.

She didn't know yet that the cook would find a small note in the evening between the tomatoes. The small piece of paper on which she had hastily written her address.

Something that made the blond almost dance through the kitchen and countless possibilities spread in his head. But in the next few days it was his own nervousness that ruined these attempts. First there were several bouquets of flowers he wanted to bring her, but he couldn't seem to find a perfect one.

Even with a meal he found nothing suitable no restaurant was good enough and no dish he could make was enough. All but one thing seemed to be left to him.

It was already early evening on the small summer island when the young woman made her way home from the marjtplatz. In her straw basket was the meal she wanted to make for tonight.

Walking the small way back to her house she arrived at her door and to her surprise she saw a small hanging on it. I hope you understand now it said in a pretty squiggly handwriting.

Slightly unsure, she first wanted to go to the small police station, but when she saw how the person had signed with Sanji. What have you prepared? she asked herself and felt her heart beat faster when she finally heard from him again. Cautiously she opened her door went inside her small house.

But as soon as she closed the door behind her, she saw a path of rose petals on her floor and paper hearts hanging from the ceiling. As well as several boxes of chocolates standing all around.

Carefully she put down her basket before following the trail of rose petals. Up her stairs to her bedroom with a pounding heart and a last breath she swallowed her nervousness before opening the door. But as she stepped into the room she felt the heat return to her cheeks.

She made a surprised noise and her hands covered her face, taking a moment. Before she looked out from between her fingers and saw him. Sanji the blond in his drastic search for something with which he could prove his love to her had seen only one way out.

To place himself naked on her bed with the white cover just covering the most necessary part of his body. ,,Y/n I know we know each other for what felt like a blink of an eye" he started and walked down from her bed, shakily walking towards her because of the blanket.

Before he came to a stop in front of her, ,,But my heart belongs to you and I know that you may be afraid but-but my heart beats only for you" he continued talking and grabbed her hand slowly leading her to his chest. She almost flinched when she heard his heartbeat as fast as her own.

His nervousness and restraint resembled hers. Which was only emphasized by the fact that the blanket fell from his body as he no longer held it. ,,Sanj-I-I don't know what to say...my heart I mean it beats just for you too" she confessed and it felt so good to finally say it the weight seemed to lift from her heart.

Finally they had both said it. At last it was that they had both confessed their love. Before he gently placed a hand on her cheek and pulled her into a gentle, shy kiss.

They both felt each other's warmth, each other's heart and each other's love. But at last their shy hearts had led to each other. The love of the two would last forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[thesoftieanon]

Alright so Dreamlight Valley Reader! I’m gonna try not to spoil too much because I know not everyone has finished the game or has the DLC, plus I want non-players to be able to follow along!

The Basics!

So Dreamlight Valley is Disney and Gameloft’s take on a farming simulator. There are Disney characters you can unlock as friends and neighbors, and they range from Mickey Mouse to Ursula. Yes you can befriend villains, don’t worry about how they’re alive now, it’s Disney

Because it’s a farming simulator, you can obviously grow and farm things, but you can also fish, mine, craft, cook, landscape, play dress-up- there’s a lot okay XD Lemme focus on the important things

Reader has something called Royal Tools that allow them to do things. These tools consist of a watering can, a pickaxe, a shovel, a fishing rod, and a phone (yes you heard me). These need to be upgraded to max potential during the game, but even at base mode they are unbreakable. The watering can never runs out of water, and the phone never runs out of battery. For simplicity’s sake Reader is just gonna have them maxed out already.

The big problem of Dreamlight Valley is Night Thorns; magic purple thorns that cause Reader and the villagers to forget things. They can only be cleared by Dreamlight Magic; magic only Reader has. The magic has a recharge bar like Hyrule’s, but it can be replenished with food, having a seat, or instant refilled by going home. Obviously Reader will not have home access so options are food and rest. Better quality food = more energy

Reader also has a shadow problem. They cause the Thorns. I can’t delve into that because major spoilers. If you wanna know go play the game :3

Dreamlight Valley is a kingdom, they used to have a Ruler but they disappeared. I don’t think it’s spoilers to say who the Ruler is (the tools are literally called Royal Tools), but it is spoilers to say how exactly we got here. Also Reader doesn’t remember.

More on the Dreamlight Magic! It also helps Reader complete tasks for the villagers, but as one can guess by the name, it’s dream magic and doesn’t function on logic. Reader could need something as simple as three flowers or as convoluted and specific as a picture of an animal that only shows up every third Friday night (the game functions on irl time and no, you can’t pull an Animal Crossing and time travel).

Okay so I think that covers all the baseline things you need to know, feel free to tell me if you think I missed something! Specifics!

What the actual frick is Reader’s magic. Legend has been in dream worlds before and not even he can make sense of this. Hyrule is also extremely confused. How does an iron bar and two flowers make a microphone??

They’re gonna need to teach Reader how to fight because despite the high population of villains where they’re from, they don’t really encounter physical fights. Not to say they aren’t fit, they’re literally a farmer, fisherman, miner, constantly running around the valley dealing with everything-

I repeat, a log falls in the path and Reader simply digs up and it turns into a bunch of wood they later use at camp. Legend didn’t even have time to grab his bracelets and he is losing it

Because Reader can do all of these things with their tools the Chain thinks they're actually really strong. But they have absolutely no way of proving it because there isn't a time Reader isn't using their tools for something

Warriors wants to know how they do their hair so fast. Like- it’s always perfect?? And they can just change the color and style whenever they want?? THE CLOTHES TOO?? He has hair and fit envy.

Four would like to know how the Tools were crafted. Maybe he can replicate the process and Wild will finally have a sword he can’t break.

Wild enjoys cooking with them. They share recipes.

Oh my goodness Reader introduces them all to cake because that doesn’t exist in canon-

Wild also relates to the gaps in memory because. Y’know. Amnesia.

Introducing the Chain to Disney characters would be very interesting

Don’t let Wild or Wind near Stitch

Idk what else to add so that’ll be it for now but please share thoughts!

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Come Undone - A Nestor Oceteva/Reader Short.

Just a lil’ bit of fluffiness for Nes! 

Words - 583

Warnings - None! 

“Are you okay?”

You shuffle onto your side, turning to look at him. “I’m sleepy.”

He snorts softly at this, reaching to stroke your face. “Oh, really? I could never tell.”

His sarcasm is always soft, never biting, unless he’s angry about something. With you, though, he has little cause to ever be vexed. Well, perhaps when you take much too long deciding on food, or where to go in order to get it in the first place. For a man whose whole life is steeped in bullets and bloodshed, Nestor is remarkably calm and controlled. He has to be, you suppose.  

“I believe the technical term is dick drunk.” Your words have him laughing quietly in an instant.

“That doesn’t sound very technical to me.” The proud smirk that lights up his face has enough wattage behind it to power an entire city. “I’ll take it, though.”  

“Well, why break the habit of a lifetime?” He frowns, pinching you. “Nes, no!”

��You know your sass won’t be tolerated, young lady.” Oh yes, how right he is. “Besides, you’ve only known me a few months. Give it time before you make such sweeping statements.”

You scoff, poking him in the chest. “Oh, I need more than four months, do I, to attest that you soak up compliments like a sponge without even a hint of modesty?”

“You just let me fuck your mouth until I came all over your face, and you’re mentioning modesty?” He snort laughs, shaking his head, rooting a finger into one of his braids and scratching his head.  

“Yeah, yeah,” you sigh, waving your hand at his comment, sitting up a little. “Whatever.”  

“You’re cute, you know that?”

You beam, watching as he continues to scratch. “I try.” A moment of pause follows, your fingers curling around one of his braids, giving it a gentle shake. “You should just unbraid your hair if your head itches. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hair loose, either. How long is it?”

“Long!” he exclaims with a soft snort. “You can unravel ‘em if you like?”

You like.  

Shifting up, you push his back gently, encouraging him to move and seat himself between your legs, Nestor stroking your calves as you unfasten the first one, placing the band down on the nightstand, your fingers unhooking each careful link. He's better at doing his hair than you are yours, you think, knowing that your own endeavours in attempting French braids were not executed quite as neatly. You work up to his scalp, the hair coming loose in your hands, a mountain of black waves becoming free, repeating the same on the other side.  

“Oh wow,” you exclaim softly, letting the curls tumble through your fingers. “You have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever encountered. Shit, what’s your conditioner bill like every month?”

He raises his eyebrows, leaning back against you. “Enough for me to consider buying shares in Aussie.” You knew you recognised the scent somewhere.  

“You should wear it down more often,” you comment, Nestor shaking his head.  

“Nah, it gets in the way.”

“Of what?”

He turns, pushing your legs wider apart, kissing you between your breasts. “Lots of things. One in particular.”  

Half an hour later, and you’re left wondering why he’d think that, as clutching handfuls of his beautiful mane while he goes down on you, from your perspective at least, is only an added bonus to anything sexual, rather than the hindrance he alluded it to be.  

[perhaps-in-anotherdream]

[CN] Victor’s 5th Anniversary ASMR Transcript – (Respite)

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for an ASMR, 缓息, that is yet to be released in the global server! ♡

Escape from the cumbersome troubles and find your harbor in his arms for a while.

—

[Photocopier sounds + beeping noise + sound of slapping on the machine + footsteps]

Slapping on the photocopier like this won’t solve the problem.

On the contrary, it can damage the components.

[chuckles]

Even if you are the boss, 

you also have to compensate for the damage to the company’s property.

[stomping noises]

What accident?

Weren’t you the one who called saying that you were in too much of a rush when you left at night, 

and forgot the data-stored portable hard drive at home,

and asked me to help you bring it over?

I know you didn’t mean that.

But at two in the morning, 

it’s not that easy to get an instant delivery.

And I’d also like to know,

what exactly is the case that made a certain someone urgently rush to the office right after answering a phone call,

and now causing her to stand depressed amidst a pile of documents.

[MC jumps on Victor]

Why did you suddenly pounce on me?

Dummy.

A little tired?

Then let’s sit on the couch and take a break.

No buts.

If you take a ten minutes time-out,

the sky isn’t gonna fall.

[footsteps + sits on the couch + Victor grunts]

Lean on my shoulder.

Relax a little.

You want to be in my arms more?

[chuckles]

All right.

[VICTOR BREATHES]

In that case, maintain this posture.

Feeling a little better?

Then, talk to me about it.

What’s the trouble you’ve encountered?

You’re not the kind of person who gets dejected over these kind of trivial things.

EA Group’s project?

I heard you mention that.

And I remember that the bidding time is tomorrow at 8 am.

The other party added items at the last moment,

and now either the tender can only become invalid,

or you have to sort it out again.

...lack of professionalism in the measures.

I didn’t mean you.

I’m talking about EA.

[sound of papers being flipped]

There’s quite a lot of content.

What about the person who followed up before?

Why don’t you ask him to join you?

Hm? Unexpected appendicitis?

[sighs]

Understood.

So, a certain someone had no other choice but to run to the office on her own.

But it all turned chaotic while trying to rush it.

Not only was the portable hard drive missing,

but the photocopier went on strike again––

one by one, adding more to the pile.

Having a little headache?

Dummy.

What’s embarrassing about this?

[laughs softly]

Why would I lie to you?

Your response to the situation was very solid,

and much more mature than before.

Which time?

It’s been a long time indeed.

Back then, a certain someone’s project for YL Entertainment was rejected,

then a guest made things difficult on the set,

and then, the documents got scattered on the way to returning home.

[MC covers Victor’s mouth + Victor laughs]

Remember that?

You hugged me and cried for a really long time.

But now,

You can already deal with the problems calmly.

[chuckles + kiss]

Things will get done.

There’s no need to be anxious.

I’ll have a look at the photocopier.

You just sit here.

Calm yourself.

[footsteps + sound of checking the machine]

The toner cartridge is broken.

It’s not a major problem.

When did I learn the skill of how to replace it?

[chuckles + sound of replacing the toner in the background]

It was a very long time ago.

LFG didn’t have an administrative team at the beginning.

There were lot of things that I needed to handle on my own.

Likewise, there was a problem with the equipment before an important meeting.

Mm.

Rather than headache,

it was the nothing out of ordinary matters that caused more inconvenience.

But when a lot of troubles get tangled together,

it will build up stress.

Then?

Then, I realized that,

the more anxious you are,

the more you have to slow down.

Just like now.

If you part your attention to other problems while sorting out something,

you will end up crashing just like this thing.

So, why not focus on what’s in front of you right now?

Calm your mind, and be still.

Those thoughts that are disturbing you will slowly fade away.

All the troubles you are having now will be resolved too.

[sound of the photocopier working]

It’s good.

[chuckles helplessly]

What’s so amazing?

Making a big fuss over such little things.

You seem to feel that you’ve been recharged with the spirit of summer?

[sound of footsteps + rustling noise + Victor sits down]

And your heart and soul have been healed for the greater part?

[chuckles softly]

Really a dummy.

But that’s good too.

And as for the little part that has remained––

How do we heal that?

[rustling noise + sound of papers]

Take a guess.

Come a little closer.

[VICTOR BREATHES DEEPLY + KISS + KISS + KISS KISS...]

Don’t want to stop?

In that case, preparing the bidding documents will get delayed.

Five more minutes then.

[chuckles softly]

Greedy little devil.

[KISS KISS KISS + BREATHY DELICIOUS SOFT LAUGHS + KISS KISS...]

How long will it take to process?

In that case, concentrate on it.

I’ll wait here for you.

I’ll take care of a few e-mails while doing so.

When you’re finished with it,

we’ll return home together, again.

—

[sparrowmoss]

okay i have more thoughts im gonna put them under a cut though because people have some very strong opinions about who is at fault after this weeks ep and i want to share my own for my own purposes but i dont want people to try to argue or fight me

this entire thing is sol’s fault. like borderline mental break unhinged moment wack behavior, sol’s fault. it is deeply deeply strange for him to have encountered two child strangers and instantly claim to become as attached as he was showing, acting and reacting very strongly to his perceived claim over osha, a STRANGER and a YOUNG CHILD, yet he could not even fucking tell her apart from mae when he saw one in the coven doorway.

indara should not have had to deal with, on top of trying to make her teenage padawan with normal teenage desires and normal teenage bitterness understand that their assignment was not a personal attack on him and would not last forever and he could eventually go home, her adult peer sol going borderline obsessive nuts over a child who was a stranger. she should have punched his fucking lights out on the ship after all that.

yes the jedi as a group should have been more respectful of the coven and clear with their intentions about making an offer to osha, should not have implied that they had any right to remove her or even test her for force sensitivity (and the whole concept of jedi taking children from their parents due to their force sensitivity is something i have potentially serious issues with depending on how much say the parents have in it and how much pressure the jedi order places on them to relinquish their children, but we haven’t really seen how that works completely clearly, so i give the limited benefit of the doubt for now), and DEFINITELY should have spoken to aniseya and the rest of her coven about mae’s “they’re going to sacrifice themselves” line (which mae misunderstood/misremembered, aniseya had said “sacrifice A PART OF ourselves” not “sacrifice ourselves” but only the audience knows that) to clarify what was actually going on.

like. almost all of the issues in this event were due to everyone assuming the worst of the people on the “opposite side”. and all of those bad faith assumptions spiraled so out of control that basically everyone died. but not sol’s unreasonable and instant attachment.

it just makes me feel so crazy that he was like, oh i feel connected to her, i’m MEANT to teach her, she’s MEANT to be my padawan, in a destiny sense, like immutable fate. and in the heat of the moment he can’t even tell that mae is mae and not osha. he cant even fucking tell them apart!!! the connection he feels is entirely made up by him in his fucking head. either that or whatever part of it is real, he is taking it and running with it and assuming that everything that happens is proof of that connection, so when mae runs out toward him he thinks it must be the one he felt connected to.

i truly have no ideas on what may have led him to instantly connect to her in such a way that he disregarded her wants and needs and safety. in a way that blinded him to the fact that that coven was still her family and still loved her. in a way that made him go for the kill on osha’s own mother for basically no fucking reason, so much so that he immediately clearly wondered “why did i do that?”

and i think indara was right, and sol was right for following her suggestion, when she said he could not go to the council and confess what he had done. to cause all of that for the self stated reason that he felt a connection to osha so strong he just had to do whatever it took, no matter the cost, to get her as his padawan. then end up getting her whole family killed and THEN leave her after that? yes he would have faced punishment that he deserved but SHE would not get the support and help that SHE deserved. i think indara was right to make the decision to hide the truth from the council. i think sol staying by osha’s side and being there for her was in osha’s best interests, as unfortunate as it is. indara couldn’t take her on because she already had a padawan, and maybe kelnacca could have but i think there would have been some nervousness on her part as she likely could not understand anything he said. it basically had to be sol or she would have suffered a lot, on top of losing her family and leaving her home and everything she knew behind to live a completely different life. sol had to lie to keep his position to be there for the person who he had caused great loss. he had to do what he could to make up for it.

and i think his guilt since that day is genuine. i do think that whatever weird intense mental break state he was in, he came out of it. i think his attachment to osha in the present timeline of the bulk of the story comes more from knowing that his actions cost her the lives of her entire family and now he is all she has left. like, the feeling that he owes her, if that makes sense. that since he caused her family’s deaths, he has to do whatever he can to make her happy and fulfilled now. and i think his line to the kids in the temple about not always trusting your eyes, comes from stuff he learned through this mistake with mae and osha.

but i still think its also fucked how little he seemed to care for jecki in this situation. he clearly doesnt feel the same protective need and care toward her as he does toward osha, even though osha left the order. he brought jecki on this mission and dragged her into the mess that he created all those years ago and got her killed and just left her body there. i do not think he would drag osha into a mess he’d created in the same way. and i know he wouldn’t leave her body!

i dont know man like i dont think sol is the most evil guy ever but i think even though he has changed and tried to do a lot to make up for his failings, not all his motivations are good even now. he really seemed to decide to tell mae his side of events for selfish reasons, for alleviation of his own guilt, not for any benefit to her.

we still have one left and i am really curious to see if his motivations are elaborated on further, what mae’s reaction to his side will be, if osha will find out the story as well before the end of the season, etc etc… so much… its hard to make any definitive judgments or assumptions when it isn’t finished. we’ll see.

[might-be-tiny-gt]

Fic time Fic time! This one is a prequel for @sa-gt-tarrius Tiniest Turnabout! I wanted to write a story about the doctor and his interns and show a bit of their relationship. For the doctor specifically, I wanted to show off his eccentricity and how it relates to his students.

Spoilers Ahead

“Yes, Yes, I understand. Thank you again so much! And sorry again for the inconvenience.” Dr. Roscope closed the lab door with a sigh, took a breath, and faced his pupils with a smile.

Waiting anxiously behind the counter were his three assistants. First there was Finn McTesimal, a prodigy in his own right, barely out of high school and already having shown incredible promise. He was seated in a rolling chair with a worried face as he tugged on the ends of his still smoking scarf. Standing off to the side with her arms crossed was Minnie Ature. Her patience knew no end, made clear by her unperturbed expression. Surely, this ship would have sunk ages ago if she wasn’t around, something Mike was endless grateful for. Finally, seated next Finn, absentmindedly tapping a pencil against the desk was Lily Putian. Truly, the brains of their whole operation. It had been ages since he last encountered someone who could take his larger than life ideas and turn them in something tangible. He only wished Lily would push herself to think of outlandish ideas of her own, she could benefit from thinking outside the box so to speak.

All eyes turned to the doctor, “Well kids, I have -“

Before the words left his lips, the three finished for him, “Good news and bad news?”

“Ah, glad to see we are all on the same page. Great minds think alike and all that,” Dr. Roscope grabbed a stool and a chalkboard and dragged them in front of the counter as if setting up for a lecture, “Bad news, obviously being that our field test was a failure and I have just been ‘strongly urged’ that we cease any continuation of the project effective immediately.”

As to be expected there we groans of discontent and comments of disbelief. Dr. Roscope didn’t do anything to dissuade them from letting out their frustrations, they had every right to be upset.

Minnie, doing her best to remain level headed, raised her hand, “So, what’s the good news?”

The doctor clapped his hands together with content, “Thank you for asking! The good news is that the field test only caused minimal damage to the west building, only breaking that one window. And the resulting fire was quickly extinguished before anyone got hurt.”

“Well,” Lily spoke up half-heartedly, “That’s a relief.”

There was beat of quiet before Finn shot up from his seat, startling Lily, “Doctor, I’m so sorry! I really didn’t think a fire would break out.”

Dr. Roscope step forward, “There’s no need to apologize Finn. I don’t think any of us could have foreseen the wind blowing away your scarf the way that it did. It was an accident and as far as Freddy’s concerned, entirely my responsibility.”

Finn noticed the doctor give him a wink at that last statement and he sat back down with weary smile. Both Lily and Minnie comforted Finn as the doctor continued.

“Now that we have all that out of the way we can spend the rest of our afternoon together, that being,” He glanced down at his watch, “The next twenty or so minutes, brainstorming our next major project for the semester.”

Roscope began erasing the the chalkboard. Lily cringed as she witnessed all their research and impromptu notes they took such care not to smudge over the course of the semester be erased in an instant. When Roscope was done, any writing on the board was completely illegible but he didn’t bother erasing any of the smudges. With no concern for the mess still left on the board, the good doctor wrote in the top corner with large surprisingly visible letters, “Project Ideas.”

“Now remember, in this lab, there are no bad ideas,” He took a seat on the stool, leaning forward in anticipation, “Just uncreative ones that aren’t worth perusing. That being said, what are we thinking?”

There was a pause as Finn, Minnie, and Lily silently deliberated amongst themselves.

Finn spoke up first, “Well, maybe we can make something to help students who are running late make it to class on time?”

“Yes, that’s a problem, now what’s a solution?”

Minnie chimed in, “How about a better alarm clock?” Lily and the doctor chuckled.

The joke completely flew over Finn’s head, “Oh well, I was actually thinking more about student on campus who might have a long way to walk between classes?”

“In that case, we could create plan for a campus wide transportation system? Maybe we could use a tram-“

“That’s a good idea Lily, but perhaps we can push that idea bit more? How can we get students to their classes in an instant?”

“Doctor, are you talking about teleportation?”

.

..

…

“Yes! YES! Teleportation! BRILLIANT IDEA FIINN! Let me just right this down.”

“Hold it,” Lily interjected as Dr. Roscope sporadically scribbled on the chalkboard, “Teleportation? Is that a little to far outside the realm of possibility to be considered? How would that even work?”

“We could set teleportation stations around campus! Oh OH! Or we could make it like a phone app and you just input where you need to be and then your just there!”

“That’s a neat plan Finn, but I think what Lily was trying to get across was how would we even go about making teleportation technology. We’d be breaking quite a few laws of physics.”

“When will you girls understand? Your minds are capable of coming up with limitless possibilities that we can make real if we put our minds together. Stop limiting your thinking because of things as inconsequential as the laws of physics. Laws were made to be broken, damnit!”

“Sorry Doc,” Minnie merely shrugged, “Not saying it’s impossible, just saying it’s going to be really hard to break those kinds of laws. Besides teleportation’s probably not the wisest idea, Jeff Goldblum could tell you that much.”

“Hmm, you may be right. Probably shouldn’t risk a lawsuit…. Do you have any other ideas?”

Dr. Roscope specifically tuned his gaze to Minnie, she had the floor. Minnie had to think for moment. She wanted to propose something practical, but heaven forbid she suggest something “uncreative.”

“Flight.”

“Flight?” Finn Questioned.

Lily contested, “We already have planes.”

“Ok, let me rephrase then, personal flight.”

Lily and Finn eyed each other. Dr. Roscope could only smile, “Go on, Minnie.”

“Well, if we’re pitching crazy ideas then I’d like make personal flight possible. I’m not suggesting we sprout a pair of wings but-“

“Buuuuuut,” The doctor interrupted with that face Minnie knew all to well, “What if we had bones like a bird instead!?”

Finn’s eyes lit up, Minnie facepalmed, and Lily could only watch with concern as the doctor wrote out his idea on the board.

“Yes, if we could make a formula that could safely hollow out human bones, we could possibly achieve flight without the need for any mechanics! What a wonderfully inventive idea Minnie!”

“Thanks?” Could she really take credit when her idea was snubbed like that?

“Absolutely not,” Lily stood up from her seat and approached the board, “Dr. Roscope, with all due respect this doesn’t seem at all practical, let alone possible. I know you want us to think big but maybe there’s a way we can think big and with in the realm of possibility?”

Dr. Roscope was now face to face with Lily. He could see the determination in her eyes, “Did you have something in mind?”

“Yes, actually.”

“Then by all means,” The doctor placed the chalk in Lily’s hand and walked to the counter to join Minnie and Finn.

“Thank You.”

Lily took care to erased everything off the board, smudges included. She then spent the next few minutes proposing several project that could benefit the school. She had bullet points, pros and con lists, and even a few rough outlines, it was all very well thought out.

When she finished Dr. Roscope clapped and returned to the board to get a closer look at her work, “Very well done Lily. I believe all the projects you proposed would be really useful.”

Lily saw his face. He was smiling and studying her notes with genuine curiosity, but she could see it in his eyes.

“You do like any of them… do you?”

Only for a brief moment did Dr. Roscope attempt to fake surprise but he reigned himself to his fate. He let out a sigh, he was caught. He shook his head.

“Of course not. Why would you like anything I propose?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I- Doctor, the entire time I’ve been here it feels like nothing I suggest is meets your standards. I know you appreciate my work ethic and contributions when we actually have something to work on but why does it feel,” Lily paused, searching for her words, “Am I not good enough for you?”

“What? Lily, of course not! You’re here because I want you to be here. I ask for your opinions and ideas because I want to hear them-“

“Then why do you never seem to listen?”

“Lily I- You see the- What I want from-“

Dr. Roscope struggled to get his thoughts together. He continued to stammer for a bit while Finn, Minnie, and Lily exchanged concerned looks. Finally Dr. Roscope found his voice.

“A great scientist’s legacy lies in what they discover, what do they learn or create that changes the way each and everyone one on this planet perceives the world around them,”

Dr. Roscope strolled over to the stool and sat down. His face displayed the most… earnest expression any of them had seen since… well, ever.

He continued, “But a great teacher’s legacy lies in their students. You three are some of the most incredible, talented, and creative minds I’ve had the pleasure to call my students. I want you to know that I see myself in each of you. Every time you walk through that door I see pieces of my reflection come together and I can’t help but be proud. And call me a selfish man but years down the line when you’ve long since graduated, and I’m a crazy old fart, I hope you visit me from time to time. Regale me with tales of how you changed the world, and I’ll know my legacy’s secure.”

“Doc, you already are a crazy old fart.”

The doctor couldn’t help but laugh, Minnie’s quick wit strikes again, “I suppose my reputation does proceed me. But believe me when I say you get crazier with age.”

“Oh I believe it.”

“Ultimately my goal with this internship isn’t to make an impact on the world, it’s to make an impact on you. If we happen to change the world in the process, that’s even better,” Dr. Roscope once again turned his attention to Lily, “I’m sorry that I ever made you think you were not good enough. I just want you to think outside the box more. Don’t ask ‘Is it Possible?’ Ask ‘Can I make it possible?”

“Thanks”

*Beep* *Beep*

Dr. Roscope checked his watch, “Alright that’s time. I won’t keep you here longer than you need to be, I know you’ve all got rides to catch.”

Finn, Minnie, and Lilly gathered their things. After grabbing her bag Minnie put her hand on Lily’s shoulder (Which was admittedly a bit awkward considering the height difference but hey what can you do.)

“You’re doing great.”

Finn chimed in, “Yeah, we’re all lucky to have you here.”

“Thanks guys, that means a lot.”

Minnie and Finn stepped out of the room to head home but Lily found herself hesitant to leave just yet.

“Doctor?”

“Hmm? Yes, Lily?”

“I’m sorry for lashing out the way I did. That was uncalled for.”

“No, please don’t apologize. You have every right to speak your mind and if you ever need to talk to me about something like that again, I’ll be here. I’m also going to review your project ideas, see if maybe we can start one of them this week.”

Lily nodded and reach for the door knob before stopping herself again.

“A size encapsulator…”

“I’m sorry?”

“That’s my out of the box, if I could do the impossible, idea. I’d make a size encapsulator.”

“That is a revolutionary idea. Thank you, Lily. Get home safe!”

“Likewise.”

Feeling much better, Lily stepped outside and headed home.

—————————

The next day Minnie and Finn found themselves in the lab alone. Minnie had brought her sewing kit so to pass the time she began patching up Finn’s scarf while he watched with awe.

“Wow, I can barely see the seams! You’re really good at this.”

“Yeah well,” Minnie finished up her patch job and cut the thread with her teeth, “You pick up a thing or two working at a craft store”

Minnie handed the finished scarf back to Finn who happily wrapped around his neck. He studied the area Minnie had fixed with wonder.

“Can you teach me how sew like you?

But Minnie was distracted looking at the wall clock.

“It’s been twenty minutes.”

“Do you think they’re ok? I mean after yesterday…”

“Lily and Doc are fine. If there’s a problem, they are more than capable of talking it out. Let’s be really, do you think either of them would resort to avoiding the other?”

“You’re right. They’re probably running late.”

As if on cue, the door the lab burst open with dramatic vigor startling both Minnie and Finn. An extremely excited Dr. Roscope comes through.

“I AM HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE HAVE OUR SEMESTER PROJECT AND,” Dr. Roscope gestures behind him to Lily who followed him inside. She has several papers up to her face, her eyes glued to it pages, “It’s all Lily’s idea.”

“Oh wow, that- that’s great,” Finn smiled, relived they seemed to be on good terms, “so which one is it?”

Dr. Roscope dashed up to the chalkboard erasing all the notes Lily wrote the day before, “None of these!”

“Doc, if it’s none of her suggestions from yesterday-“

“Ah but it was,” He turned to Lily, “Tell them.”

Lily was still rummaging through the papers, she hadn’t even looked up once. Minnie and Finn approached her to see what she was looking at. The caught glimpses of numbers and hand written formulas, what they added up to they had no clue.

“What is this?” Minnie asked.

Lily finally spoke up her voice slightly shaky, “I-I-I ran into in the hall a-and he ran some numbers and-“

“Numbers on what?” Finn asked.

Dr. Roscope answered, “A size encapsulator!”

“A what?!?”

“It’s just some rough estimates, but if these numbers are correct, which I’m positive they are it means that-“

Lily finally lowered the papers revealing the disbelief on her face, “It’s possible…”

“Wait, are we actually making a shrink ray!?” Finn was practically bouncing, he could barely hide his excitement.

“Are we?”

Minnie asked looking to the doctor for an answer but he didn’t have one. It was clear the doctor was looking to Lily for her answer.

“I- I think we are.”

[elli-psis]

Final Fantasy has always been about having an entirely new setting and changing up the gameplay with each new numbered entry. The gameplay of the 3D remake (the DS version) of Final Fantasy IV on the DS is barely recognizable compared to character abilities and monster weaknesses and such in all the 2D versions.

Bardsong is its own group of abilities similar to Edge's Ninjutsu but causes conditions and has a few party buffs with no MP cost for any of it, and you eventually get an Augment to give to a party member. It's a reliable ability set instead of playing a random song anymore.

Status conditions are VERY important in general and few enemies resist sleep of all things. You can put all enemies to sleep - even almost all in the final dungeon! - to set up your party or do an extended emergency healing session. And one of the starting Bardsong abilities puts all enemies to sleep, too.

Yu can inflict poison on the Octomammoth and Antlion, too. That 1% of max HP every time it takes effect really adds up in those boss fights, while it's pretty useless on regular encounters and later bosses are immune. You can paralyze Calcabrina with Hold. Break works on almost any non-boss enemy up before the moon, and is an instant kill.

There's no spell to inflict Curse - which causes a -20% reduction to all stats - but the Ancient Sword and Curse augment can inflict it. You get the Curse augment after beating Scarmiglione..

You can even do wild stuff like giving Cecil the Counter and Draw Attacks Augments and he'll take all basic physical attacks enemies use and counter with the action at the top of his list of five in battle.

Get lucky with a Stoneblade drop and equip it, then set using it in battleas top action in the list and he'll cast Break on any enemy that uses a basic physical attack on him.

I know I rambled on here and went all over the place, but what I'm getting at is there's no reason a pixel art demake of Final Fantasy VII couldn't change things up if something that needed to be 3D to work is present. Or even change things up to begin with to make it a new, fresh experience.

Y'know, instead of that Final Fantasy VII mobile game (Evercrisis) that remakes/remasters FF7 but also fills it full of a bunch of worthless gacha garbage, Square could have kept the ball rolling and did a Final Fantasy VII Pixel Remaster that reimagined the entire game as a SNES era Final Fantasy

And just roll on through. FF8 Pixel remaster. FF9. 10. All of them. Demake the entire franchise.

"But what about the ones with more action-y combat" I don't care. Keep them classic and turn based. Lean into it. Get weird with it. Don't be a coward!

[eddiemunsonsbadassboyfriend]

Eddie Munson x m!reader NSFW Headcanons

A/N: Reader and eddie are both switches and sadomasochists sorry if my labeling is weird i was trying to be conscience about using the correct terms but i’m semi-unfamiliar, also aftercare is not described for each scenario, but it is involved, i just blanked on writing it cause i was moving from one prompt to the next in my head like one engagement not as separate encounters. also reader is male duh (could also be read as gn aside from a few names)

Praise

Top Eddie

he loves giving you praise. seeing the way you react.

he thinks it’s adorable if you’re having an insecure day and you try to hide from his compliments, though he ends up turning it into a game where you’re forced to look at him while he says it

he once made you call yourself pretty over and over and if you stopped he’d stop

he constantly says he’s proud

“i’m so proud of you, just like that”

“yeah, that’s it sweetheart, fuck, you’re doing amazing”

Bottom Eddie

a single “good boy” or “i’m so proud of you” on a bad day and he’ll turn to mush in your hands

this man’s just needs some reassurance

sometimes the praise overlaps with some sadism on your part. on occasion the praise makes eddie cry and honestly it turns you on way more than it should

he’ll start crying and at first you’ll ask if he’s okay and he’ll always respond with some semi aggressive comment

“yeah of course i’m fine”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about (L/N)”

but then you start going a little harder and saying more, telling him how well he’s doing and how pretty he is and how amazing he feels

pretty soon he’s begging to cum

Degradation

Degrader Eddie

i know this seems like it counteracts my last point but hear me out

he loves degrading you mostly because of your reactions.

he only calls you typical things like “slut” “cocksleve” “boytoy” etc.

he strays away from the word whore though cause he says it feels too strong

he’s become an expert at perfectly timing comments with his thrusts that gives you a visceral reaction.

once or twice he’s gotten uncomfortable in the middle of it and used a safe word. you never mind, typically he wants to switch to praise after because he feels bad which is a hell of a switch up and sometimes you ask him to just have vanilla sex cause it’s too much of a change for you, he always complies.

Degradee Eddie

if anyone ever asks he will deny it to earths end, but getting called a freak in bed is an instant hard on

you discovered this by accident messing around with the typical degradation stuff when you guys were first exploring it. he was never a fan of dick mockery (there wasn’t much to make fun of his dick is practically perfect)

besides that the typical terms were good obviously (manwhore, slut, boytoy, pervert, etc) but you were trying to find something different

you were fucking him with his hands tied when he’d asked you to untie is hands so he could touch himself

“what are you, a fucking freak”

he fucking moaned

like so loud

honestly you like stopped for a minute he was super embarassed

you’ve never let him live it down and it’s one of your favorite things to call him in bed because it’s an instant way to get him to make noise

Moans

Top Eddie

eddie is super loud, as a top and a bottom.

as a top his moans are mostly words or jarbled speech.

“fucking-“ “ugh fuck mm” “holy shit” “god so fucking mm”

they’re really incomprehensible but they’re absolutely godsend to hear when he’s fucking you the way his voice comes straight from his gut and just breaths through it is like music.

he loves making you moan.

if you ever want to get punished an easy way is to just hold back your moans. he’ll instantly jump into s&m territory. handcuffs, impact play, an occasional blindfold, floggers, etc he’ll pull out all the stops to get you to break

honestly noise is behind a solid 70% of all the things he does. don’t get me wrong he enjoys your tears and marking and all the good stuff, but hearing you through it hearing the cries of pain morph into moans, that’s the shit that gets him off

Bottom Eddie

he’s loud as shit

you love it but sometimes it’s hard to regulate his volume which is important considering he lives in a trailer with another person. he can have a little more freedom if you guys fuck in your car but you still get nervous about getting caught sometimes

he upplays his moans sometimes or doesn’t quiet down when you tell him to for punishment. he knows it’s a fast way to get you to edge him or gag him (he lives for that shit)

his vocalizing when he’s bottom is pretty similar to when he’s a top it’s mostly mumbled speech although it sounds more like he’s on the verge of tears (it’s super hot) occasionally he’ll get a really solid moan out that is usually “fuck” or “god jesus” or a variety of curse words strung together.

Mutual Masturbation/Voyeur

Top/Dom(?) Eddie

you’ve always kinda thought about watching him jerk off but one day eddie asks you to and you’d never agreed faster

he sits down in a chair opposite to you and lays his legs out, he spends his time rubbing his thighs and taking off his pants he likes to think he’s putting on a show

this man goes full on stripper sometimes he does a lap dance and everything

you’re more than happy to watch, there’s already a knot in your stomach by the time he actually sits down.

once his dick is actually in his hands you can’t look away. the way his breaths become ragged, the way his chest heaves, the way he bucks into his hand. occasionally words will slip out of his mouth that give away what he’s thinking about.

“fuck you’re doing so well”

“you’re so tight”

he also addresses you while jerking off. even with distance between you there’s a part of him that wants to have control.

“touch yourself for me.”

“slow down sweetheart we’re not racing”

“that’s it, long slow strokes, you’re being such a good boy”

he’ll sometimes edge you like this for hours. those days are unreal. life becomes a haze.

Bottom/Sub(?) Eddie

the first time you asked him for it to be the other way around you were a little nervous but he was super into it

you had him kneel by the chair you were on and you didn’t let him touch himself until you’d already finished once

there was honestly a slight battle for dominance when he realized that was your plan but you just pressed your shoe on his erection and he sat right back down and went back to trying to subdue his moans

when you did let him touch himself he had to move slower than you which was agonizing for him. he was crying by the end of it

you took care of him after of course though and he admitted it was one of the hardest times he’d cum in a while so you were feeling accomplished

Names

Top/Dom Eddie

Master

master, and eddie, munson, sir, and freak are ur options to address him

master is typically a more s&m sex only thing but he’ll never turn it down in the bedroom

eddie is basic, can’t go wrong, he thinks hearing you whine his name is so fucking hot. munson is again, hot, but you only really use it to be bratty

sir is pretty default, it’s honestly not his favorite it’s only really used for if you’re uncomfortable saying master than day for whatever reason

freak stems from you finding out that it’s one of his favorite degradation terms. he also loves it as a sort of self degrading label for you to admit to

“who’s fucking you right now, hm?”

“the freak”

“that’s right, and hear you are enjoying it.”

Bottom/Sub Eddie

he called you mommy once for some reason and you’ve never let him live it down

sir is probably the best besides your name or last name though you like it and he loves calling you it

he enjoys the position it puts him in if someone in power above him controlling him but not quite as much of a admittance of defeat as master is

he’ll call you master on occasion if the situation calls for it but typically it’s sir or your name from him.

(and the occasional mommy)

Edging

Top/Sadist/Dom Eddie

eddie edging you is phenomenal. absolutely excruciatingly and unendurably orgasmic

he teases you during the edge in public places:

he brushes up against you when you’re walking

he’ll keep a hand on your lower back when you’re leaving to go somewhere

he’ll occasionally pull you into a corner and make out with you with a hand on your crotch, picking up speed, before dropping contact completely and walking away

in short hes cruel

when the release comes though, it’s fucking floodgates. sometimes he’ll let you throat fuck him to make it even but usually it culminates with you on the bed absolutely writhing as he plays with you lightly until you explode

he always cleans up after you and sits with you while you rest after it’s great

Bottom/Sub Eddie

he’s so desperate

like soooo desperate

edging him is super fun mostly because he has two sides of either wanting to be good so badly he’ll hold out for days to a week or he breaks on the first day so he’ll be punished

both options are fun but edging is more rewarding for all parties

he has a habit of when he’s getting edged being particularly jumpy and aggressive which you honestly just find endearing

he’d definitely be down to wear a cockring

his noises after being edged are absolutely off the charts he’s loud usually but he cries from relief it’s endearing honestly

he melts when you praise him after

[duskamethyst]

deception.

a/n: if you ask me why i did this, the answer is i don’t know.

word count: 4.6k

genre: smut, nsfw, angst, quirkless AU

warnings: daddy kink, degradation, edging, age gap, implied cheating, reader is a little delusional

pairing: sugardaddy!bakugou x f!reader

summary: where you fall in love with your own sugar daddy and you finally confess to him.

pretending to be in love with old men for a couple of hours can be exhausting and it might seem like a nonideal way to get money, but desperate times call for desperate measures. you’ve met plenty of these people, who have too much money they could spend. some are just lonely; in need of company from a young, pretty girl and some just want to have fun despite having their wives and kids at home. they come and go, and you couldn’t care less about what happens to them after your encounter, as long as you get your money’s worth. 

but never have you ever thought that you’d be so attached to one. maybe entertaining sugar daddies isn’t that tiring when they’re really attractive (it’s natural to like good looking people, can anyone blame you?). he’s truly a sight for sore eyes and you often wonder how he possesses so much stamina in bed. bakugou makes you feel some kind of way, it’s wrong, but with more time you spend with him, you can’t help but to actually fall in love with the guy. he makes you feel antsy and you often find yourself waiting for his texts, either the dirty ones or the ones that expresses his anticipation to see you again soon.

it’s not like he doesn’t do the same thing as the others; buys you things you know you can’t afford, spends his money on fancy dinners and continues to spend the rest of the night with you at random five stars hotels after. the difference is, you actually somewhat enjoy being around him as his spoiled little princess and you find yourself to gladly do anything for him like the time you let him fuck you raw because he wanted to. 

for a man his age, bakugou is well maintained. you love to lay your head down on his huge chest and rake your nails on his broad back, eliciting deep grunts of pleasure from the man in return. he looks appetizing; toned abs and a happy trail that leads to his trimmed pubes and down to his massive cock. if it isn’t for the fine lines on his face and the white streaks on his hair, you wouldn’t think he’d be reaching 50. 

you don’t know if you should even feel jealous of his wife. if you were born years earlier, would he choose you instead? the thought of him being with someone else and vowed to be together for the rest of their lives makes you want to puke. bakugou must’ve realized that it was a mistake too. if he still loves her, why would he have his cock sink inside you? if he really loves her, why are you the one he tells that to instead? 

“daddy loves you. daddy loves fucking your tight cunt. baby, you feel so fuckin’ good– so fuckin’ good for daddy. love you too– fuck.”

you can already picture the image of him on top of you as you replay those same words like a broken record player inside your head; lips part slightly in heavy pants, vermillion irises overfill with lechery as he fucks you senseless.

daddy loves you. he loves you and you're more than certain that you love him. not for his money, not for the stuff he indulges you with but only for himself. 

you want him. you want him to make you all his. you want him to be able to see you freely and not sneaking behind someone else’s back. you want to sit pretty as you wait for him to come back home from work every day, all wet and ready to please him. he loves you, and that’s what he deserves after a stressful day. 

as soon as you get inside the room and kick off your heels, a strong pair of hands grab you by the thighs and easily lift you up. you wrap your legs around his waist in an instant, dropping your bag to the floor unceremoniously before circling your arms around his neck as he draws you in a passionate, hungry kiss. a battle of dominance has always been nonexistent when it comes to bakugou, he naturally holds everything in the palm of his hand and both of you like it that way.

his lips never stray away from yours, not even when he walks towards the bed with you clinging onto his strong physique while his hands squeeze firmly on the flesh of your bum before he breaks away, but only to throw you on the soft mattress. you prop up on your side, looking up at him innocently and pleadingly with doe eyes that you know would never fail to stir up something primal inside him. his gaze drinks in every inch of you; the heave of your chest, the curve of your ass and overall your smaller frame that lies submissively in front of him. 

“look at you. such a fucking doll.” he takes off his slim fit suit, throwing the coat carelessly on the ground before loosening up his tie until it unfolds completely. “you like the dress? it’s shorter than i imagined, can’t help but to notice how the other guys kept on checking you out.”

you nod your head, pressing your thighs together as you notice how his lustful eyes linger a little too long on your ass that’s barely hiding under the hem of your mini dress. “yes, because daddy bought it for me.”

“damn right he did.” he smirks, unfastening about three buttons of his dress shirt. “ass up.”

you hurriedly roll on your stomach, planting your cheek on the mattress and arching your back perfectly as you lift your ass in the air. you feel the bed dipping from your back before a calloused hand caresses your thigh and trails up to your cheeks slowly, appreciating the smooth and youthful skin before he gets to ruin it.

“good. lift your head up.”

it’s never your position to question. carefully, you do as told by lifting yourself up on your hands and knees. you can discern the shifting of his body from behind and by your side as you look ahead and face the curtains before your sight is abruptly seized by darkness.

the silky material biting your lids suggests that he has wrapped his tie around your head, purposely blindfolding you to amplify your other senses as your sight is consumed with pitch black. bakugou pushes your head down with his hand, keeping you on your knees and lets you stay in the position while he takes off his dress shirt.  

“you’re gonna be a good girl for daddy.” he states more than questions, hiking up the hem of your dress to your waist to feed him with an unobstructed view of the damp patch adhering on your flimsy panties. bakugou presses his thumb on the splotch and his eyes flick over to your quivering body. “gonna let daddy use his tongue to fuck you?”

“please, daddy.” you whine, bucking your hips closer to ease the ache with his touch but is greeted with a sharp smack across your skin instead. 

“so impatient,” he tuts, rubbing the red print gently. “you’re just a horny little girl, aren’t you? can’t live without daddy’s dick inside her cunt.”

“just you– only yours.” 

“you know just what to say, don’t you?” his voice husky and rasp, complimenting the conceited smirk on his lips as he spoke. you learn that bakugou is actually a man that is easy to please, only if you know how to stroke his ego and as simple as that, his intimidating persona would be long gone. 

cold air brushes against your wet folds once he strips off your panties. he lifts up both knees to get you out from the garment and crumple it into a ball with his hand before bringing it in front of your face. 

“open.” you obey and open your mouth, allowing him to gag you with the cloth and quickly filling your senses with a mixture of lace and your own scent. “so good for me.”

bakugou moves back to his initial position, smearing his fingers against your puffy folds with your slick. he circles your clit teasingly and slowly, resulting in you to squirm while your hands find purchase on the sheets beneath you. 

“stop squirming around or i’m not gonna eat you.” he warns as his ministrations come to a halt to observe your compliance before he continues. for a man that is impatient himself, it’s quite hard to take his sweet time teasing you. maybe with the fact that you’re so querulous, a surge of power and pride rushes through him and his willpower tells him not to lose his machismo too quickly.

a satisfying grin tugs on the corner of his lips while he watches you struggle to follow his order and his thumb presses tight circles on your swollen clit to draw out sweet, muffled whines. once he notices your legs begin to tense and toes to curl, he pulls away. 

“you can’t cum yet.” he licks up the slick from his fingers clean before settling his head in front of your rear. an anticipative knot swells in your lower stomach as you feel hot plumes of breath prickling against your puffy folds before he spreads them open with his fingers. with how much your senses have spiked up, you can feel your pussy dripping with so much arousal and you know damn well that bakugou can see it too. 

“you’re nothing but a dirty little slut, aren’t you?” he coos, sounding both demeaning and amused as he rubs your lips, sending more waves of sensation on the bundle of nerves. “my dirty little slut.”

bakugou doesn’t expect you to answer but as soon as his warm tongue takes the first lap of your slick, a loud squeal rips from your throat. his large hands rest on your hips as he tilts his head to reach your clit, toying and teasing by using the tip of his tongue while his own plump lips and stubble graze against your slit.

you’re quick to turn into a sobbing mess, unheedful of the saliva trickling from the corner of your mouth when you’re aware that it won’t take too long until you’d eventually break. just as the stimulation is becoming more overbearing, his hands clench on your supple flesh tighter in a silent command that tells you it’s not time to cum yet. 

after he’s satisfied with abusing the bud, he drags down his tongue and pumps inside your quivering hole, causing you to jolt in a delighted surprise. from the loud, lewd squelching sounds of your own fluid mixing with his spit, you can only picture the way he looks right now; face buried between your ass cheeks, nose deep in your cunt while his tongue works miraculously around your walls. 

even the image beyond the abyss itself makes you more delirious. 

“c-can’t–” you break into a muffled cry as your hips bucks into his mouth without conscious control. another harsh slap is what you receive, but you can’t seem to care when a thick fog of desire is already clouding your brain; making the pain and pleasure to become one divine fusion. 

bakugou’s blows don't stop with how much you’re grinding so earnestly on his face. your skin burns from the cruel attention, yet your cunt just keeps on seeping with slick that trickles down to his chin and drips down on the sheets beneath you. 

“you’re such a fucking pain slut.” he growls, hot breath fanning your greedy cunt and making the pressure even tighter in your stomach. “not yet.” his tongue is anything but languid; swirling hastily as it explores your little hole as far as he can reach. it’s obscene. the way that the muscle glides so smoothly.. the warmth, the moisture– 

next thing you know, your eyes are already rolled to the back of your eyelids as your body tenses while waves of gratification crash down throughout your entire being.

“cumming on daddy’s tongue without permission.” he tsks, giving one last spank before standing up at the edge of the bed as he burns the image of your quivering body into the back of his head, adorned by the red imprint of his hand on your pliant skin. “turn around.” 

without a spare moment to gather yourself, you get up on wobbly legs and arms, carefully turn around like a fawn taking its first baby steps and rebuild your senses at the same time to estimate where he currently stands until he tells you to stop. 

your eyes squint as they adjust to the subdued room, finally able to see faint light again after bakugou takes off the tie around your head. you look up to the older man, only to be pierced by a pair of carmine orbs and a disgruntled look on his face.

“you know what you did wrong.” a thin string of drool latches onto the panties when he pulls it out from your mouth to observe the drenched fabric between his thumb and pointer finger. “looks like you had a great time.” you can see how it’s embarrassingly soaked, but not as embarrassing as the amount of slick glistening around his lips and chin that he doesn’t even bother to wipe off.

“’m sorry, daddy.” you whisper hoarsely through dry throat while giving him your most remorseful look. it would’ve deceived him if he didn’t know any better, but receiving punishments is something he knows you’d enjoy.

the slight upturn at the corner of his lips etches into a lazy grin as he unfastens his belt and takes off his pants along with his briefs to release his erected cock– now standing proudly in front of your face. 

“what do you have to do now?” he hums, tapping the flushed tip on your lips as if moisturizing the parched skin with his leaking precum. 

“m-make daddy proud.” you shamelessly steal a taste, flattening your tongue out so he can rub it on your palate. 

“can’t fuckin’ understand you– cock hungry slut.” he chuckles with mirth, one hand tucking your hair behind each ear as his gaze softens for a moment. “but that’s why i fuckin’ love you.”

your lashes flutter as you stare up at him, heart blooming like flowers on a fresh start of spring after a harsh, cold winter as the words he uttered loops inside your head. with a content hum, you close your eyes and wrap your lips around his cock, eliciting a hiss from the male once engulfed in the warmth of your mouth. 

“shit, i haven’t even told you to suck me yet.” his own eyes follow suit, throwing his head back as his own hand finds home on top of your head. your eagerness makes it hard for him to stay mad. if he was younger he would’ve been a little irritated if someone tried to take control, but maybe aging really did something and made your whims seem more tolerable for him. but what he loves most is seeing you struggle to fit his fat cock; whether it’s by your mouth or your pussy.

“just like that,” his voice drops an octave, watching most of his length disappear inside your mouth while your tongue runs against his veins. “fuckin’ look at me when you’re suckin’.”

you submissively comply to his command, meeting those sharp eyes you adore beneath the tousled mess of his blond and white hair. 

“you love daddy’s cock?” he doesn’t intend to give you a second to answer before he continues,  “then you wouldn’t mind chokin’ on it, don’t ya?” 

you moan in response just as he expected and he snorts through his nose. “of course you don’t.”

bakugou brings your head closer, shoving down his cock your throat before he starts to snap his hips. a chorus of curses pass his lips, taut muscles relaxing as he drowns in euphoria. drool soon starts to dribble from the corner of your lips and your jaw starts to ache, yet you’re still insistent on accommodating his cock– using your tongue when you could until he’s exploding with a mouthful of oaths.

“such a good girl.” he grunts, holding your head firmly with tension in his fingers as he stares down at you with knitted brows. “feels good havin’ dick in your mouth? hm?”

“hmm–” you moan in concur, the vibration almost drives him mad and it’s evident through the twitch you feel against your hollowed cheeks. with an exasperated groan, he pulls out his cock from your mouth and pumps it in his fist. 

“take it off and lie down. now.” his words thrum through you in a burst of heat. you swiftly discard the dress and rest on your back, spreading your legs in front of him in anticipation before he proceeds to climb on the bed. you shudder when he spits on your cunt before smothering his cock against the slit and down to your entrance to give extra lubrication. 

a deep, inarticulate sound rips from his throat, one that conveys pleasure as he sheathes his cock inside you. he can feel your walls sucking him in so welcomingly and squeezing him so tight that he thought he might cum then and there.

“that’s fuckin’ tight.” he girts out, pushing through the walls until he has bottomed out. with each hand on the sides of your head, his large and shredded build looms on top of you and keeps your smaller frame caged underneath. 

“daddy– s-so big.” you extend your arms to cling around his neck, looking up at him with a lust addled gaze. 

“i know you can handle me, sweetheart.” he smirks conceitedly and starts to roll his hips, dragging every ridge and vein against your walls through each thrust. your toes curl when he goes deeper and your nails dig into his back, leaving crimson trails as they rake.

“l-love you, daddy.” the words slip past your lips so naturally in flawless manifestation of your genuine feelings towards him. 

you observe how his lips stretch into a simper, fiery and lustrous eyes staring back at you before he replies, “love you too, ba– fuck–” 

bakugou feels you clench around him impossibly tighter and he leans down to kiss you, forcing you to swallow down his moans as he ruts inside you harder and faster.

“baby– that’s right. daddy fuckin’ loves you.” his low and resonant voice fills your ears, pleasure pulling taut in your lower stomach as the pressure begins to build up rapidly for your second orgasm. “–and he loves this tight cunt.”

“ah– daddy! p-please make me cum–” you start to babble, too lost in pleasure and your legs find themselves wrapping around bakugou’s waist to keep him closer and deeper.

“don’t you fucking dare cum yet.” he snarls before lifting himself up to keep his hands on the headboard in front of him and instantly blocking your view of the room. not that you mind when you’ve already set your eyes on him the whole time. 

“no matter how many times i’ve fucked you–” he pulls out almost completely before ramming in again, making you squeal.  “you still feel so fucking good.”

your hands reach to cup his face gently, your lips parted and wet, eyes glazed with adoration and an overflowing want for him. “all for you.” 

he chuckles quietly to himself. who knew that he would find himself burying his cock in some dumb college girl? with her heart filled eyes that tell him he’s some kind of a savior or the last man on earth. whether it’s all superficial or not, he thinks you’re pretty damn good at it.

“you sure make it hard for daddy not to love you.” he scoffs. you let out a needy whine when he pulls out and your hole convulses, instantly missing the way his cock stretches you out and makes you feel full. 

but it’s not for long when your vision suddenly keels as he flips you over to lie down on your stomach. bakugou easily hoists up your hips and pushes down your back to force you into a perfect arch before he sinks his throbbing cock inside your sloppy cunt without warning. 

“nghh– daddy–!” you cry as bakugou pounds into you with a menacing pace and hits you at the right places at the same time. 

“yeah? you like it when daddy uses you like the little slut you are?” he grabs a fistful of your hair, jerking your head up. “like you’re nothing but my little cocksleeve?”

“yesyesyes– daddy–! s-so deep– can’t!” your strength begins to drain out and you don’t know how much longer you can hold yourself  before he allows you to cum.

“you can– fuck– you’re clamping down on me.” he growls, one hand on your hips forming crescent shapes on your skin with his fingers.

your jaw has fallen slack, mouth gaping in breathless whimpers as you let bakugou abuse your little cunny while your own hands are balling into fists that your knuckles turn white. the air is filled with the sound of skin slapping against each other, mingling with his heavy pants.

“you’re really– hah– milking this fat cock.” his own rhythm turns sporadic, skin burning red with every second he prolongs his desire.

“please– daddy–” you let out a feeble moan and your legs begin to tremble as a result of the unbearable pressure tightening in your lower stomach. your pussy is already leaking with so much slick and it’s making a filthy mess on the bed. 

“you’re ready to cum for daddy?” he fucks you harder with deep strokes, knocking the breath from your lungs each time he presses into you. 

“pleasepleaseplease–” tears prickle from the corner of your eyes as the coil in your stomach threatens to snap.

“cum.” 

the word left his lips in a pure command and you break down instantly with a loud cry. a huge wash of pleasure winds its way through every nerve and your pussy gushes and clenches around his cock. 

“that’s it. good girl.” a deep growl rumbles in his chest as he observes every twitch of pleasure he has brought into you. 

“th-thank you, daddy.” you mumble, still deeply doused in ecstasy.

bakugou finally releases his harsh grip and your head plops down on the soft pillow while he pulls out and pumps his cock in his own fist, coated with your own arousal before he splurts thick ropes of cum all over your cheeks and watches as it trickles down to your cunt. 

after a brief moment of catching his breath, bakugou reaches for the nearest tissue box and helps to clean off the mess you both made. you let your exhausted body fall onto the mattress and he throws the used tissues away before leaning back on the headboard next to you, still panting and trying to get down from his high. 

“you okay?” he breaks the silence, flicking his gaze towards you and rubs your head gently in hopes to soothe the pain he caused from pulling your hair so roughly. 

you hum, seeking for solace from his touch as he pulls the blanket up to cover your bodies and reaches for his phone on the nightstand with his other hand. you silently observe him as he looks at his phone, probably reading and scrolling through emails or texts like he’d usually do after having you wrecked. 

“love you, daddy.” you suddenly squeak, yet bakugou doesn’t tear his eyes from the screen and it leaves you unsure if he heard you or not. 

“hm.” his response is indifferent and your stomach churns into an unpleasant feeling; one you don’t appreciate at all. 

“daddy.” you swallow past the lump in your throat. “i said i love you.”

bakugou clicks his tongue and your heart shatters slightly at the sound, thinking that you probably just annoyed him, “yeah, i heard you.”

“bakugou.” you suddenly snap and the hand on top of your head stills. you don’t know where the courage to call him by his name comes from, but you want to convey your sobriety over the current situation and for what you’re about to say next. cold shivers run down your spine once his attention diverges towards you and he raises a questioning brow, ushering you to speak. 

“i-i love you–” you gulp, taking a deep breath. “like, i’m in love with you.” 

his stare is impassive and there’s an uncomfortable silence weighing the air between the two of you. your cheeks begin to warm up with humiliation and a part of you dreads with regret. you aren’t sure how long the deafening silence lasted before you see a twitch at the corner of his lips. 

“you gotta be kidding me.” he snickers, shaking his head in disbelief. 

you rise up on your side and your eyes waver with confusion as you look at him. “b-but you said you love me too. you do, r-right?”

he scoffs, mostly galled by the fact that he’s actually having this conversation with you– a dumb college girl, but he doesn’t expect much either. “why the hell would i be in love with you? did i knock your head?”

getting straight to the point is one of bakugou’s nature; his bluntness is like a sharp knife that stabs you in the heart. 

“but you said–”

“why do you think i only said it when i had my cock buried inside your cunt?”

and it twists painfully. 

“forget about it. go to sleep.” he nonchalantly replies and returns back to his phone, brushing off the wounded look that’s written all over your face.

you feel humiliated, angered and disregarded. given that you were always spoiled, you can’t stand having your feelings unreciprocated and rejection is one of the things you aren’t familiar with.

“why? because you have a wife? you don’t even love her–”

you flinch when you hear the loud thud of bakugou slamming his phone down on the bed, but it’s not as fearsome as the malicious glare he’s shooting at you. “don’t you fucking say that. i don’t wanna hear that, especially coming from a dumb whore like you.”

harsh reality gives you a massive slap in the face. 

your heart is hammering against your chest and your vision begins to blur as tears well up in your eyes, threatening to spill out. you feel like you want to scream at him but the words you want to say only get caught in your throat. bakugou notices how you’re about to burst but he only rolls his eyes, expressing his vexation. 

“god,” he sighs exasperatedly and gets off from the bed to pick up his clothes from the floor. “the last thing i need is another fucking nuisance.”

“w-where are you going?” you croak as you watch him put on his clothes. 

bakugou turns to your direction and snarls, “what does it look like? leaving.” 

the pain in your chest becomes harder to bear, fat tears start to roll down your cheeks and when you try to reach for him, he coldly shoves your hand away. you saw how furious he could be through his phone calls but you were never on the receiving end; always the one who calmed him down and let him use you as a way to take out his frustrations on. now you’re nothing different than the rest of the people in his life, or maybe you were just too stupid to realize that you were never any different before too. 

“just leave when it’s time to check out. you’d know at least that much.” he scoffs as he walks to the door and twists the doorknob before turning back to you for what it seems would be the last time. 

“and don’t even think of finding me again.”

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[pippytmi]

1, 4, 14?

The one hope Kara has for her roommate is that Lena Luthor will not be a smoker.

Alex had told her not to have high expectations; after all, this roommate arrangement was all organized through Winn, and Alex has always stated that she doesn’t trust this man’s self-preservation tactics. (“Once, during an earthquake drill, he started to climb up the building. Kara, what kind of a moron does that?”)

But Kara isn’t as cynical as her sister…or quite as mean. So she trusts that Winn’s people skills are better than his survival skills, and resolves not to write off Lena by virtue of association alone. It’s expensive enough to live in National City; when Winn had promised a roommate that “probably won’t be tempted to murder anyone anytime soon,” that had honestly been a good enough draw. (That had, of course, been sandwiched in a perfectly normal explanation about Lena being the best student in their shared pre-med classes—Winn maintains that anyone pursuing med school that rigorously will be too tired to consider recreational murder on the side.)

So Kara takes her tentatively-moderate-expectations—along with a box of donuts as a gift—and makes her way to apartment 9b. This is technically her first time ever being a real roommate; her only other experience was sharing a wall with Alex during their teenage years, and occasionally during their college years when they weren’t driving each other crazy. So maybe, because she’s never had to deal with boundaries or tact with her sister, she kind of…abandons all formalities and just uses her brand new key to open the front door.

(In hindsight, she really should have knocked first.)

“Golly!” Almost immediately, Kara is jumping right back out into the hallway, and the box of donuts is falling to a tragic death on the carpet. Oh no. Oh gosh. This is more embarrassing than trying to climb up the library during an earthquake drill—

She is still sitting on the floor, dumbstruck, with maple glaze smearing on her jeans when the door opens again. Lena Luthor pokes her head out, and she is simultaneously everything Kara expected and everything she didn’t. Per Winn’s description, Lena is indeed “classically beautiful,” and she has one of those faces: slightly closed off, hesitant to emote much. And when she has clothes on, she truly does have the fashion sense of an aspiring college professor, albeit with a touch more lipstick than Kara would expect.

“Okay, maybe I’m crazy,” Lena says slowly, “but did I hear you say that out loud?”

Kara immediately lifts her head up to squint at the direction of the strange voice. Lena has very pretty green eyes, but they are exceptionally confused at the moment. “What?” she says, echoing that same perplexment in her own voice.

“I could’ve sworn you said ‘golly,’ like some kind of peasant in a Christmas Carol or something,” Lena says, as if that’s a totally normal route of conversation to take after being caught naked. She leans halfway out the door, looking down at Kara with that attractive, baffled expression on her face, and all Kara has taken from this encounter so far is that her new roommate is hot.

“I...did say that,” Kara says after a beat. “But in my defense, I was completely surprised.” As one might be walking in on anybody naked, she thinks, but doesn’t actually say out loud.

“Right.” And then Lena frowns, slightly, in a manner that makes her lipsticked mouth twist down a corner. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were coming by today. I could have sworn your text mentioned your move in day being the third.”

Kara stretches her leg out and pretends the sole of her shoe isn’t caked in chocolate icing. “Today is the third,” she points out, and then hastily adds, “And um—I’m sorry. I should have knocked. I just didn’t know you were…”

“Showering,” Lena finishes, at the same time Kara says,

“...a nudist.”

Lena stares. And then she blinks, and then she stares some more. “What?” This time, that careful kind of confusion entirely drops, and now she’s looking at Kara like she has grown two heads. “How do you automatically jump to that?”

“Because you’re naked in the middle of the day?!” It’s pretty self-explanatory in her opinion, but Kara still gets up off the floor in order to better face her new roommate (and because it feels strangely like she is the one being judged right now). “Everyone knows that showering is a night or a morning time thing—walking around naked any other time is weird.”

“Wow,” Lena says, and she actually crosses her arms, further cementing the whole Kara-is-the-one-being-judged thing. “I can’t believe you think nudists are weird. That’s pretty ironic coming from Tiny Tim.”

“Hey, I never said I thought nudists were weird. Just, their hobbies are. Is being naked a hobby?” Kara considers delving into that discussion, but Lena is squinting at her (and Lena has a very piercing squint), so she drops the subject. “Anyway, it’s fine if you’re a nudist. I can just…start wearing sunglasses inside, or something.”

“Because my naked body is that blinding?” Lena scowls. “I don’t go out in the sun much, alright, so sue me for being pale—”

“That’s not what I meant!” Kara blurts, helpless, and she knows in that instant she’s gone entirely red in the face. “I, uh. I didn’t mean to sound judge-y. Really, I don’t care what you do in your spare time. Unless…can I ask if you smoke?”

And it is with that sheepish question that Lena’s affrontive attitude slowly begins to fade. “No,” she says, in a manner that is faintly amused. “But I’m glad that’s your priority. Seriously? Are you really just going to say you’d be fine if I spent every single waking moment in our apartment naked?”

Kara shrugs, still flushed up to the tips of her ears, and makes a valiant effort not to think about that when Lena almost-smiles she can see the indent of a possible dimple on her cheek. “Well, if that’s what you want,” Kara says. “I won’t…stare or anything, I promise.”

“That’s comforting, but I’m not a nudist.” Lena smiles, and yep—dimple—Kara is pretty much done for.

“Okay.”

“No, I mean it.” And then that smile drops as Lena suddenly reconsiders something. “Also, why do you assume it’s weird to be naked in the afternoon?”

Kara gestures vaguely with her hands to where her watch would be. “Because,” she says, “it’s weird to shower in the afternoon.”

“But what if I had been naked for another reason besides showering?” Lena apparently has the ability to raise her whole eyebrow, and it’s unfair how mesmerizing that is.

“Like…non-nudist reasons?” Kara asks, and Lena’s smile comes back in a mischievous form.

“Yes, exactly.”

“Uh,” Kara says ineloquently, and suddenly her mind is coming up with far too many scenarios that she really shouldn’t. “That would be fine. Too. I mean, I can wear earplugs with the sunglasses. Or I can just wait out here too, until you’re…done. The carpet here is pretty comfortable. Is it the same in the apartment? ‘Cause if so, I mean, the landlord really outdid himself. I’ve had carpets that aren’t half as fluffy in hotel rooms that charged way more than—”

Lena cracks the door wider, and then her gaze drifts over towards where Kara’s housewarming donut gift has landed. “Have I broken you?” she asks. “Or are you always this awkward around naked women?”

“I’m—what?” Kara sputters. “I’m completely normal around naked women. Sometimes I am also a naked women.”

“Right,” Lena says, “when you shower in the morning. Or night.”

Kara frowns. “Yes,” she says, “and that's completely normal. And not weird.”

“Noted.” Lena pulls open the door the rest of the way, then throws a dangerous sort of smirk over her shoulder. “You are Kara Danvers, right? I’d hate to have to re-do the apartment tour, so if you’ve just come to break in, I have to warn you: I’m saving for med school, so I pretty much own nothing of value.”

“Yeah, no, I’m...Kara,” Kara says, slightly bewildered, but she gathers her bag and her donut box trash and follows Lena inside; she’ll have to deal with the mess outside later. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I just forgot, with the whole…”

“It’s alright.” Lena scrunches her nose up apologetically, suddenly quite sheepish; if Kara had to pick a word, she’d call the tic adorable. “I didn’t exactly introduce myself either. Well, at least in the traditional sense.” She leads Kara into the kitchen, where there is a bottle of wine sitting on the table. “Can I make it up to you with a drink?”

And Kara doesn’t know how, exactly, she’s going to live like this—going to live with the knowledge that her new roommate apparently showers in the afternoon, and drinks a whole bottle of wine alone, and makes sexual references to people she’s known for all of twenty minutes. In other words:

“Yeah,” Kara says, nudging her glasses up her nose and delighting in the curve of Lena’s ensuing smile. “I could go for a drink.”

[ibis-gt]

ok ok i got the writing bug again. cam drives luther to the hospital to figure out why he's got Shrinks When Gay Disorder. 2k words.

~~~

“Well, Mr. Algers, from what I can tell you’ve got a very rare, very difficult autoimmune disease. We call it Gulliver’s Hanahaki.”

Luther sits glumly on the examining table, clad in a paper gown. He resists the urge to pick at the edges of it, instead keeping a tight grip on the table. Doctor’s offices always make him fidgety.

“Basically,” Dr. Townsend continues, “when your body encounters a specific form of stress, it will react in an attempt to defend itself, resulting in the reduction of size you’ve been experiencing.”

“So is there… any kind of cure?” Luther asks.

“Well, no. It’s not the kind of disease you cure.”

“Treatment of any kind? Pills I can take, shots, anything to stop it?” An edge of desperation creeps into his voice, the paper covering the table crinkling as his fingers dug into it.

“Nothing I can give you, I’m sorry to say,” Dr. Townsend sighs. “Unfortunately, its rarity means that it’s difficult to study. Any medication is still in the early trial stages and it wouldn’t be ethical for me to prescribe. There are two forms of preventative measures you can take to avoid further episodes, however.”

Luther straightens up from his slump. Thank god, something to get this nightmare to finally end!

“The first is very effective. Since the episodes are triggered by attraction to another individual and the anxiety resulting from that attraction, if you are able to avoid interactions with that individual altogether, no further anxiety will be triggered.”

Luther deflates, shoulders sagging. “That won’t work,” he mumbles. “We live in the same building.”

Dr. Townsend nods sympathetically. “I thought it might be something like that,” he sighs. “Your other option is to confess.”

Luther reels back like he’s been slapped. “Confess?”

“Yes. These episodes are made worse by bottling up your attraction or attempting to deny it. This causes the stress to compound and become more intense. If you admit your feelings to the individual you’re attracted to, then you will remove some of that stress and your episodes will be less frequent and less severe.”

“But- but that would only stress me out more!” Luther says, throwing his arms out to the sides. “I mean, I mean what if he says no? What if he says yes? What if he -”

Dr. Townsend puts a hand on Luther’s shoulder, cutting him off. His hand is… very large. Too large. Dr. Townsend and Luther are about the same height, after all, but his hand barely fits on Luther’s shoulder. Luther realizes suddenly that he’d been shrinking, and takes a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I see your point. I just gotta tell him how I feel. Easy peasy.”

“Hm.” the doctor says. He lets his hand drop and a tinge of sympathy colors his serious expression. “Good luck, Luther. This is a very difficult disease to live with, even once you’ve mitigated your stress as much as possible. If there’s anything else I can do to support you, please let me know. Otherwise, our consultation is at an end for today. I’ll start reaching out and seeing what options there are for you - maybe a support group would help?”

“Thank you, doctor. That would be nice, actually. Um. Quick question - how… small can I get? Could I just… entirely disappear?”

Dr. Townsend lets out a huge sigh. “Well… on record, the smallest a person with Gulliver’s Hanahaki has been reliably measured at is about one and a quarter inch. There are rumors of people getting down to five centimeters, but frankly, that’s just ridiculous.”

Luther stares at the doctor for a long moment. “Right. Ridiculous.”

~~~

When he gets out to the waiting room, Luther is surprised to see Cam sitting there.

“I thought you left? You didn’t have to stick around.”

“Figured you might need a ride back. Wouldn’t want you shrinking on the way over.” Cam stands and stretches, rolling his neck. “Ugh. Little stiff,” he mutters.

Luther tries to get his racing heart back under control. He’s a little shorter than usual, and having Cam loom over him like this… it’s not doing him any favors in the height department. But he manages to keep a handle on himself as they walk out to the parking lot. Cam’s quiet for a bit, but once the car starts up, the questions begin.

“So, what’d the doctor say?” Cam asks, glancing over his shoulder as he backs out of the parking spot. A little ball of panic starts to form in Luther’s gut. Oh, nothing much, just that I’m going to shrink every time I’m awkward around my crush. Which is you, by the way.

“Uh, it’s… an autoimmune disorder,” Luther mumbles. “Rare one. They don’t know a lot about it yet.”

“Okay, makes sense,” Cam says. Luckily his eyes are on the road, so he doesn’t notice Luther losing an inch. “What’s it called?”

“G - “ Luther starts, then catches himself. What if Cam looks it up later and figures it out? He shrinks a little bit more and swallows, trying to clear his throat. “I… the name was… it was very long and I didn’t really, uh, catch it.”

Cam chuckles quietly. The sound reverberates around the inside of Luther’s skull. It’s so musical and sweet. He clutches the seatbelt and shrinks some more.

“Yeah, some of them have weird names. What kinda treatment are you lookin’ at?”

“Uh… this was just like, a consultation, to identify it? So we’re gonna do treatment next time.” Luther doesn’t even sound convincing to his own ears. Cam glances sideways at him and his heart skips a beat.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Cam says, looking the other way as he makes a turn. “It’s medical stuff, it’s personal. I’m sorry for prying.”

“No, no, it’s not that! It’s… just a lot to take in, and I’m still - there’s a couple things it could be actually and they don’t know for sure so they took blood samples, and there’s tests that are gonna come back later, and um, uh…” Luther trails off. He’s shrunk so much now that the seat belt presses uncomfortably across his chest and neck, and the tension on it makes it difficult to adjust. He’d been staring out the windshield as he rambled, but now he’s too short to see much more than the sky. He feels Cam pull the car over and turn off the engine. Luther slowly turns to his left and looks up at Cam, who stares down at him in turn. Luther, maybe two feet high now, offers a shaky smile.

“There’s, um. No cure. Or treatment,” he says in a soft, wavering voice. “I just… live like this now.”

Cam tilts his head to one side like he’s trying to decide on something. He shifts in his seat, turns his body a little to face Luther, and props up one arm on the headrest. Then he sighs.

“You’re too short to sit in the front now,” he says. He glances to the backseat. Luther follows his gaze and stares in horror at the car seat sitting neatly behind the driver’s side.

“Oh, no,” Luther whispers. He raises his voice as Cam shifts again and undoes his seat belt. “No, no, no, no, I am not going in that! Cam!” But it’s too late. Cam opens the car door and gets out, then shuts it behind him. Luther slams down on the release button for his own seat belt with both hands, keeping his eyes on Cam through the windshield as he walks around the front of the car. The belt retracts with such force that it knocks him sideways, and it takes him a moment to right himself and get his bearings again. Before he can try to run or hide, the door opens, and Cam reaches in for him.

“No, please, come on,” Luther pleads. He backs up as far as he can, but Cam easily gets his hand around Luther’s middle and lifts him up. “I’m an adult, a full grown man, I can’t go in a baby seat! Please, Cam, don’t put me in that thing, why do you even have it? It’s so humiliating, you can’t do this!”

“Number one,” Cam says, opening the back door. “I can put you in it, I have plenty of practice wrangling my niece in there.” He sets Luther down and gets to work on the straps, easily subduing Luther’s halfhearted attempts to squirm free. “Number two, this is about traffic laws. If I’m driving around with someone under four feet in my front seat, I’m gonna get pulled over, and if you wanna explain to the officer that you’re a full grown adult and pay the ticket, be my guest. And number three,” he says, clicking the last buckle into place, “this is about your safety. We get in an accident, that seat belt up front is gonna do you more harm than good.” He straightens up again and shuts the door. Luther puts his head in his hands, trying not to break down in tears. That would only make it worse. The words ‘this is about your safety’ echo around his head in his father’s voice. He hears the driver’s side door open and close, hears Cam settle himself in, and manages to speak up.

“Just… please don’t laugh. Or take pictures, or anything.” He risks a glance between his fingers. Cam is looking at him in the rearview mirror, no amusement or pity visible in his eyes.

“I won’t.” The sincerity in his voice takes Luther by surprise. “This isn’t funny. This is really serious, and I’m sorry I had to do that.” He turns the key in the ignition and pulls the car back onto the road. “We’re nearly home. You won’t have to be there for long.”

Luther stares miserably out the window at the sky above. True to Cam’s word, it’s only another ten minutes before they’re pulling into the apartment complex’s lot. As soon as the car’s turned off, Luther starts pulling at the straps, trying to figure out how to get himself free. Cam comes around to his side again and opens the door.

“I got it, I got it,” Luther assures him. “It’s just this one, right? No… wait, this one? Or is it… um…”

“Let me,” Cam says softly. He reaches in and has the whole contraption undone in an instant. Then, to Luther’s surprise, Cam scoops him up and holds him against his chest like he’s a toddler. Luther’s arms hang over Cam’s shoulder as he blinks in shock. Cam whistles as he approaches the door to their building, fishing his keys out of his pocket. He opens the door one-handed and starts the climb up the stairs to their floor. Luther should say something, this is horribly demeaning, but… it’s also undeniably very nice. He feels supported and safe, and he’s so close to Cam but the usual stab of anxiety is totally absent. He could almost drift off like this.

Cam reaches his door and unlocks it, then stops suddenly and looks at Luther.

“Oh! Shit! I’m so sorry, it was kind of like muscle memory, I guess? God, I’m sorry.” He lowers Luther to the floor and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“That’s… that’s okay. The stairs would’ve sucked to climb right now anyway.” Luther should leave, Cam’s still got the door open for him, but… “Do you mind if I stay for a bit? Just until I get a little bigger? Um, I can’t really reach my door handle right now, so…”

Cam smiles, and that familiar pang of anxiety flutters up inside Luther again. “Yeah, you can hang out here. You’re always welcome.” He turns and trudges towards the kitchen, his footsteps shaking the floor as he passes Luther. “It’s pot roast tonight, anyway. Even if you get your height back in the next five minutes, I’d insist you stay for dinner.”

Luther thinks about the doctor’s advice. Confess your feelings, and all of this gets easier. But when he goes to open his mouth, he loses another three inches all in one go. Luther digs his nails into his palms and sets his jaw. Not just yet, then. But soon. Eventually.

One of these days.

[scratch-your-headband]

hi! may i have some relationship hcs for uchiha bois (madara, itachi, sasuke, shisui, obito). if there’re too many then choose the ones you like most. and good luck with this blog, looking forward to reading your works👁👄👁

Dear anon, thank you so much for your patience. We hope you’ll like it✨

Relationship hc for Uchihas

Madara

Let’s be clear, this guy’s got a stern reputation of being a scary piece of shit to keep, so any kind of public affection is a no. No hand holding, no name calling, no touching and definitely no kissing. You may look at him and feel privileged to be walking next to him.

He isn’t the one to get jealous easily, or anyhow at that point. He’s a confident man after all. Maybe even a bit arrogant.

‘Someone better? I’d love to see you try.’

Just don’t mention the Senju. In fact, don’t even look at any of them cause all hell’s breaking loose if you do.

Underneath his being a huge dick act cold facade, lies one of the kindest person you’ve ever encountered. But oh boy you gotta dig deep. C’mon now ladies and gentlemen grab your shovels! It took him quite a long time to feel safe enough to show you that side of his. But it was worth the wait. He may not be very affectionate outside, but once you two get alone he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of you.

However, don’t expect to hear ‘I love you’ too often. He’s a man who believes in actions rather than words. He’ll say it maybe once a year, if he’s feeling generous. It will also take him a while to get used to hearing those words from you.

When it comes to cuddling he’s not really the cuddle-all-day-all-night type of guy, but every now and then you’d just feel his arm pulling your head to his chest. Of course, he’d be the big spoon. That’s not negotiable. Please make him be the little spoon anon I’d sell my soul to see that.

Itachi

Won’t be very comfortable with physical touch at first. He needs time to fully trust you and get used to you. He doesn’t forbid PDA, unlike Madara, although he does get easily embarrassed. The two of you are just walking down the street next to each other and when your fingers brush his and you take his hand, his face turns as red as a tomato in an instant.

You would have to be the one to initiate the kiss. Doesn’t matter if it’s the first or one hundred and first. However he will be staring at your lips with a burning wish for a kiss, but he’ll be holding himself back. Itachi-san you’re such a tease. He knows how to restrain himself. On the other hand, he’ll be the one initiating hugs and won’t be the one to pull away first.

Adores cuddling! First half an hour after you wake up, he won’t let you get out of bed until he gets his morning dose of cuddles. Don’t be surprised if you feel like you’re sliding across the bed-that’s him pulling you closer in his sleep. You’re never able to sneak out of bed, he notices a lack of your body warmth immediately. It’s like he has a fucking sensor.

Gets just as embarrassed when saying how much he loves you as when you’re kissing in public. Doesn’t get any better when you’re the one saying it. He’s just plain adorable and his innocent little smile is worth it.

He can get a bit jealous but tries not to show it. If he sees you talking to someone else and he thinks you looked uncomfortable for only a second, he pops out of nowhere in front of you. Depending on his judgement, might even show up with his Sharingan still activated (only for them to see it leaving you in wonder why did they run away so fast) as if the Akatsuki cloak wasn’t frightening enough. Although he’s a calm person, he can be pushed over the edge. He turns violent, merciless and wrathful when his loved ones are threatened. Very protective.

Sasuke

This is a pretty quiet, private guy, meaning he doesn’t really talk to people about you. Low-key relationship. People usually wouldn’t even know you’re dating.

He’s not the kind for PDA. The most you’ll get is hands brushing and forehead tapping. He’s not very intimate overall, though he has his moments. Forehead kisses, a lot. He’s all about little things: a flower every once in a while, tiny gifts.

He’d have a hard time opening up to you, so take baby steps. Blame the trauma. But once he does you’ll know you’re his most important person in the world.

Very overprotective. It’s not that he’s very jealous, but he likes to keep what’s his only his. So if he notices someone walking up to you with a flirting intention, he’d shoosh them away. His death glare and the sole fact that he’s Sasuke fucking Uchiha do a pretty decent job at making your suitor disappearing without a trace.

Not a big fan of cuddles but he’ll grow fond of them over time. No “I love you”s, but he’ll return them to you. Thought he’ll mumble it to his chin, so pay extra attention it you want to hear it. In his opinion, those little things do the job better than words.

Shisui

TOUCHY TOUCHY TOUCHY. Anywhere, anytime. Doesn’t matter if you’re in public or private. Holding hands, hugs, kisses, cuddles, pet names. He adores you and he’s not hiding it.

Will spoil you. If you mention you like something, be prepared to find it in your room the next day. Another day, another flower so your house is filled with your favorites. Will stop once he sees it became impossible to move around maybe.

Jealous, but makes it look like a game. Someone’s bothering you, he shows up, wraps his arm around you. He gives the other person a very playful smirk as he asks you “ Babe is this guy bothering you?” The poor guy tries to apologize and run away but you can’t run away from his teleportation no jutsu.

Is completely honest with you but if he has something bothering him, he won’t share it. He doesn’t want to upset you and he’ll try to find a way to solve it on his own. However, if you notice and ask him about it, he won’t hide anything from you.

Obito

Sorry about the gif, just had to

He’s bragging about you so much that he’s annoying everyone around him. However, when it comes to PDA, he’s a bit flustered. He’s a bit embarrassed around you in general for quite some time after you two get together.

But once he gets more comfortable and used to your presence, he turns into such a sweetheart. Loves to hug you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder (or head, depends how small you are) and enjoys when you do the same thing. Cups your cheeks with his hands a bit too often.

Prone to jealousy but bottles it up. Will never admit it because he trusts you completely but for some reason he can’t shake it off. Overprotective, not just towards other people. Doesn’t like being away from you because ‘who knows what can happen while he’s away’.

Means a lot to him when you fondle or kiss his scars. He can sometimes get insecure about them and when you show him that you love every part of him just the way they are, he’ll melt. Call him beautiful-he deserves it.

[marjorie189]

The One and Only: JJ Maybank Series

Summary: 

Y/N, the kindest and sweetest person you’ll ever meet. The thing is she’s a kook. Unfortunately causing her to fall into the stereotype of being snotty and spoiled, just because she’s from the other side of town. Kie and Y/N would exchange greetings and occasional conversations during Kie’s kook year. As summer emerges, she notices Kie’s group of hot pogues. One pogue in specific catching her eye. The One and Only: JJ Maybank.

Word Count: 12,296

❀✿

Y/N was walking along the beach’s sand taking in the nice midday sun. The sun hit her exposed skin. She was dressed in white denim shorts and a small flowery yellow cami. She was beautiful, the whole town of Outer Banks was aware of that. Except for herself. She was too selfless to realize it.

Y/N POV:

My feet sink into the warm sand of the beach, legs after one another. I look fondly at the mesmerizing view of the waves hitting the shore, taking a nice relaxing walk on the beach.

I was so at peace and in love with the scenery, that I realized I was no longer in Figure 8 but in The Cut. I look to my left and see The Wreck.

I feel a smile appear on my face at the thought of Kie. As I get closer to the restaurant I see Kiara fighting a couple of boys. I laugh at her playful nature.

I stopped on my tracks, debating whether or not I should enter the premises. I wouldn’t want to interrupt anything. As my thoughts linger I subconsciously open the door. My eyes widen right as the bell above the door rings, alerting that a customer is entering.

Kiara and all of the three, tall, intimidating boys look over at the door, their eyes catching mine. I blush immediately, regretting my decision instantly.

“Y/N!!” Kiara shrieks in excitement once she sees me. My heart settles once Kiara’s warm voice assures me that I made the right decision. And oh she does. She has no idea that by just walking through that door, that her whole life would change.

The boys look like cats on a cat clock. Their eyes go from Kiara to y/n, back to Kiara, and back to y/n again, and they continue to do so.

Kiara leaves the boy’s side and speed walks over to me. A huge grin on her face.

“KIE!!” I yell back as loud.

“What are you doing here?” She questions once in my arms. I hug her tightly and she reciprocates the same energy.

I open my mouth to respond but she quickly shuts me down.

“Actually! Just give me a sec! Let me just handle them real quick and I promise I’ll be there in a few seconds!” Kiara quickly says, referring to the three boys, that have not kept their eyes off of us. Kiara notices and rolls her eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah! For sure, I’m in no rush!” I say with a smile.

“Okay perfect! Just wait for me on the counter,” She says and points to the stools along the counter’s bar.

I nod and walk over to the counter passing by the three boys. As I walked by them I could feel their heavy stares on me, following me.

I then hear three loud slaps followed by hisses and groans, I giggle and shake my head.

“What was that for?!” One of the boys shrieked.

“For checking out my friend! What? Do you think she’s some kind of animal?” Kiara says in an annoyed manner.

“What? No!” Another boy immediately says in defense.

My back still facing them. They definitely weren’t good at being discreet.

“It’s just… We’re confused, shocked, and surprised that you’re talking to someone other than us! Especially a girl...” The last of the three boys say.

[Okay if y'all can guess which of the three says these three lines I’ll give you guys a shoutout😂]

“You know what guys! Just get out!” Kiara scolds at them.

I take a seat on a stool, place my elbow on the counter’s bar, and hold my head with the palm of my hand, staring at the four in amusement.

“What? What about our food!” The unknown boy says. Now that I’m sitting I catch a better glimpse at the three boys. Distinguishing who they are. This unknown boy’s voice belonged to The One and Only: JJ Maybank.

I notice that all three of the boys are pogues. At first, I felt a bit stunned at who Kiara was choosing to spend her time with. But that little voice in my head was just nonsense Kook talk, trying to instill itself onto my brain. I came to a quick and rightful realization that there was nothing wrong with that nor them. I’ve just been stuck in a community where Pogues are looked down upon and the Kook beliefs have been trying to screw itself onto my morals ever since I was a little girl, but I won’t let that happen.

It’s not fair how Pogues get mistreated and discriminated for their lifestyle. They have no control over that. I never stood for that and nor has Kiara. So it’s not surprising that she’s friends with these three boys. They must be kind guys if Kiara is spending her time on them.

“No! I’m not giving you free food! Now get out before I call the cops!” She says and shoves them towards the direction of the door.

The boys let out cries of despair and give Kie their best puppy dog eyes.

“Nope! Not falling for that,” She says and sends them one last push before they were out the door.

She shuts the door behind them and lets out a big huff once they’re out.

“Come on Kie!” The boy that has his cap reversed on his head says. I instantly recognize him as Hayward’s son, Pope, I believe. He was knocking and begging on the glass windows of the restaurant.

“Nope.” She whispers and shakes her head at them.

All three boys were standing outside the restaurant like statues. Wearing sad frowns on their faces.

Kiara rolls her eyes and walks away from them. My eyes divert over to Kie’s.

“Okay! Sorry about that,” She smiles.

I let out a laugh and nod.

I look over Kiara’s shoulder to see the boys still standing against the entrance of the restaurant.

I continue to look at them, nonchalantly. For the first time, I’m actually noticing how good looking these boys are. My eyes find John B’s well built body. I can picture how strong and muscular his chest must be through his loose tank top. My mouth waters.

My eyes then lift up meeting JJ’s blue ones, just to see that he already had his eyes on me. But in reality, they never left her.

My attention then shifts over to JJ. His smile turned into a smirk as he noticed my eyes on him. He locks his eyes with mine. I couldn’t help but smile. My insides were bursting, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of blushing.

Those few seconds of our encounter felt like hours, even days.

“EWW! NO. Gross! This is not happening! Stop that! This instant!” Kiara exaggeratedly says.

JJ and I’s trance breaks as I look over at Kie.

“What? What are you talking about?” I say playing it cool.

“Oh don’t even go there! Don’t act like I didn’t see that!” Kiara says grabbing a wet rag from the counter and slapping me with it. I gasp in shock and slap it away.

“What? Why are you hitting me?” I say in between laughs playing dumb. I look over to the guys and see them laughing as well. But only JJ knew the reason why she hit me.

I see the blonde laughing and smirking through the glass window as he catches my last stare before Kiara’s dad shouts at them.

“Stop scaring my customers away! You guys look like stalkers out there just looking through my windows!” He says coming out from the kitchen. Kie’s dad stops his yells and the boys' laugh and nod.

“Yes sir,” Pope and John B say in unison and JJ salutes him.

JJ then looks me straight in the eye and winks at me. A silly, playful smile placed on his face. I try my best to compose myself, but on the inside, I’m all mushy and tickly. I just smile at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of playing along with his game.

The three of them start walking off and within a few seconds, they weren’t visible from the windows.

“Those boys!” He grunts causing me to giggle. “Oh hi y/n! Didn’t see you there. Nice to see you again. How have you been?” He greets happily.

“Oh, god dad! How many questions was that?” Kiara groans.

“No. No. It’s okay, Kie,” I say, sending her a little shove. “I’ve been good, Mr. Carrera. How about you?”

“Oh call me Mike!” He says with a laugh. I smile and nod.

“Alright well, I’ll let you girls talk. If there’s anything I can do for you girls just let me know,” He says before walking away into the kitchen.

“That did not just happen!” Kiara yells over at me.

“What? That wink that he just sent me while you weren’t looking?” I say with an evil smile.

“Oh no, no, no, no!” Kiara says shaking her head.

I let out a laugh.

“Sorry, Kieee!” I say with a pouty face.

“No, no, no!” She says with an eye roll.

“You can’t blame me! It just happened,” I say defensively.

“Uhuh! Sure,” She says, giving me a scolding look.

I smile innocently to tick her off.

“I hate you!” Kiara says with a glare.

“What! I didn’t even do anything!” I say putting my hands up in surrender.

“Okay, I don’t blame you, this is all JJ’s fault!” Kiara says with a huff. “He literally flirts with anyone who literally just breathes,”

I let out a laugh.

“Wait so did he actually wink at you?” She says, looking at me questioningly.  

“Mhm,” I say simply.

She groans.

“And it was quite hot!” I say in a whisper, knowing it would get her mad.

“Ughh. What do you even see in him? He’s disgusting!” Kiara says in pure disgust.

I just shrug.

“You know for being titled the nicest girl in town. This little encounter right here does not prove it. You’re evil,” Kiara exclaims.

“Am not!” I say quickly.

“You are and it just proved!” Kiara teases.

I shake my head in defeat.

“So what brings you here?” Kiara questions.

“Just wanted to say hi. I was taking a nice walk and ended up here without realizing,” I say with a small giggle, laughing at my oblivious nature.

“That’s exactly something you’d do!” Kiara says bursting out in laughter.

I start blushing and covering my face in embarrassment.

“Okay, I take it back! You really are the sweetest person in the OBX. No one is this shy,” Kiara teases.

“I am not shy!” I protest.

“You are!” Kiara protests back.

“Okay maybe I am but it just comes naturally,” I say with a frown.

“I think you’re just shy and embarrassed when someone gives you attention. Especially with someone you’re not that close with. Like me. But I’m changing that! I don’t want you to be shy with me anymore,” Kiara says kindly.

“Aww,” I say with a small blush. “I’d like that,” I say pulling Kiara into a hug.

“We’re going to be the greatest of friends! In school, I was always too shy to come up to you. You just seemed like the nicest person and I was too intimidated by that. You looked like you had your life all put together and I didn’t think you’d need me in your life. It looked like you had everything you needed already. Even though I really wanted someone like you as a friend. You were different, you weren’t like those other bitchy girls in school. I always wished I had you,” Kiara confesses.

“Aww, really Kie? That’s the sweetest thing ever. I really wish you would’ve come up to me. You know I would see you in class or walking by and see you strut that hallway. I was like damn! Kiara has confidence!” I say with a smile.

“Really?!” Kiara says in surprise.

“Yes! Hell yeah,” I say loudly.

“I’m glad that worked,” She says with a giggle. “I would always have my confidence up. It was mostly a front because I kind of sort of hated everyone there,” She says letting out a loud laugh.

I join her laughter and smile.

“Yeah. I can totally see that. Some of them are really bad,” I say thoughtfully.

“Some of them?” Kiara says with a raised brow.

“Okayyy. Mostly all of them,” I say.

“I don’t know how you can deal with them! They’re rude and disrespectful. I don’t know how you can be friends with them. Especially when you’re nothing like them! I don’t get it! It doesn’t align. The dots don’t connect,” Kiara passionately says.

I let out a giggle.

“Yeah, I would question that myself too. But see the thing is I’ve known them all since the day I was born. It’s like all I can do is deal with them. They’re not all that bad you know. Yes, yes I know. They’re arrogant and act superior to others and trust me I don’t condone that behavior but they’ve all kind of become like my family,” I rant in hopes of trying to get her to understand.

Kiara looks at me closely in an inspecting kind of way. She nods staying quiet.

“Okay. I can respect that,” Kiara says after a while.

A smile appears on my face.

“Thank you, Kie! I really appreciate you accepting that part of my life,” I say with a smile.

Kiara returns the smile and opens her arms and closes them around my shoulders. She lays her head on my shoulders.

“Of course. I know you’re a great person. I know you’re not like them,” She says letting go of me.

I nod.

“Okay but tell me this! How are you blushing over JJ Maybank when you have Rafe, Topper, and Kelce are all over you, all the goddamn time. It doesn't make sense!” Kiara says with a head shake, laughing.

I let out a laugh instantly.

“You’re crazy. They're annoying! But I love them. Unfortunately,” I say with a wide smile. “And! I am not blushing over JJ Maybank!”

Kiara lets out a snicker.

“You definitely were!” Kiara sassily says.

“I wasn't,” I say with a straight face looking away from her knowing I’d end up letting out a laugh if I left my gaze on her.

“I can read you like a book!” Kiara says with an eye roll.

“Okay. Whatever,” I say looking out into the windows.

“What would your three boys say if they saw their precious little girl flirting with JJ Maybank. Their arch-nemesis!” Kiara continues to tease.

I groan and roll my eyes at her. “Really?” I ask.

She nods with a smirk.

“Well, I’m sooo happy that didn’t happen! They would literally get sooo mad!” I say in emphasis.

Kiara laughs.

“Hell yeah they would. They would literally want to beat the shit out of JJ if they’d witnessed what just happened!” Kiara exclaims.

“Well let’s be grateful that it’ll never happen! Again!” I say with a relieved sigh. “Cause knowing Rafe, Topper, and Kelce they’d find out somehow,”

Kiara lets out a giggle.

“Well see I don’t think it’ll be the last time. If I’m being honest,” Kiara says.

“And why is that?” I question in interest.

“Well if you’re going to be my friend, you’re going to be seeing JJ often,” Kiara explains.

“Oh. You’re totally right. That totally slipped my mind! Oh, darn it!” I frown.

“Oh don’t act soo sad. You’re probably bursting on the inside!” Kiara says with an eye roll.

A giggle escapes from my lips.

“Not even. I don’t even know JJ. Yeah, he’s good looking but it’s not like I like him,” I say in all honesty.

“Hm,” Kiara says pursing her lips.

“Oh god!” I say with an eye roll. “It’s not even like that! I don’t even like him like that Kie!” I say shoving her shoulder.

“Okayyy. Whatever you say Y/NNNN!” She says teasingly.

“I hate you, you know that?” I say throwing the rag at her face.

She gets caught off guard and laughs.

“I have an idea! I’m going to JB’s house in a bit. You should come!” Kie says happily, her eyes like shooting stars.

“I’m guessing that’s John B?” I question and she nods. “I don’t know Kie…” I trail. “I'm too shy!” I pout.

“Oh stop! It’s not like you have somewhere better to be!” She says in an annoyed manner.

I gasp. “I actually have to be at the club’s resort!”

“My point exactly! You literally go to the club like every other day. I’m sure Rafe, Topper, and Kelce can have a day without you at the golf course!” Kiara sassily says.

“Okay let’s say I do decide to go…” I trail. “I can free up my golf date with them. That’s no problem. Even though they’ll get butthurt and will want to know where I’ll be, who I’m with, and ask every question possible. But I’ll just make up a lie because they’ll have a heart attack if I’m hanging with you and your boys. Remember arch nemesis!” I say dramatically in the end.

Kiara laughs. “Right! I picture them being attached to you! How do you handle their clinginess!” Kiara questions with a playful teasing smile.

“I don't even know..” I trail in thought with a giggle.

Kiara laughs and continues with her previous conversation.

“Come on Y/NNNN! The boys will love you!” Kiara begs.

“ I don’t know about them loving me. They probably hate me because I’m a kook,” I say reluctantly with a sigh.

“What? Okay fine! What I meant to say is that they’ll eventually love you. It’s impossible not to love you. You’re lovely! And they’ll see that. So come on! I’ll be there, right by your side, if you do decide to come. And plus they were literally eyeing you like candy. Which is annoying! But that means they lowkey already like you. But I must admit if you do come over, it will probably be awkward. Hopefully, they quickly realize you aren’t like that. I mean come on if I of all people love you, that means a lot,” Kiara tries to console.

I huff. “Okay fine…”

“Yessss! Thank you Y/N! I love you! We finally need another girl in the group!” Kiara exclaims.

I roll my eyes. “I’m literally barely going to meet them for the first time! Don’t get ahead of yourself. For all we know they can decide to not want me in your friend group,” I say with a laugh.

“Trust me! They’ll love you! I hope…” She trails in the end.

“I hate you! You’re making me nervous,” I say with a frown at that last part.

“Okay okay! I’m sorry!” Kie says defensively. “But I’m kinda nervous too! But mostly excited!”

I groan looking away. “I’m starting to regret this ya know!” I say looking back over at her. “You know the golf club sounds like soooo much fun right now!!” I say jokingly.

I playfully get off the stool to pretend I’m leaving but before I can do anything else Kiara grabs onto my arms.

“Nu-u-uh!” Kiara says humming a no.

I let out a cry sitting back down.

“I hate you! I’m starting to not like this! What if they hate me? This could turn out sooo bad you know! If Rafe and the boys find out they will literally without a doubt want to beat the shit out of John B, Pope, and JJ. I’m not even joking Kie!” I say with a few pouts as I put my head down on the counter, sighing.

“Yeah… I didn’t really think that far. They literally gatekeep you!” Kiara says angrily and then it turns into a blank face trying to think of a plan.

“Alright let’s not get ahead of ourselves! For all we know, we could be thinking wayyy ahead of ourselves. This could literally be a one time thing if they decide to not want me around. So let’s not worry about Rafe. Topper, and Kelce. For now..” I say with a small giggle at the end.

Kiara nods in agreement and lets out a small laugh as well, lightening up the mood.  

“Alright well, I still got like an hour or so here at The Wreck. So I don’t know if you’d want to stick around or if we wanna catch up after I’m done?” Kiara questions at the end.

I think for a bit.

“Alright how about this? I go walk around town for a bit to kill time while you’re finished here. It’ll give me a chance to tell the boys I gotta bail on them,” I say looking at Kiara to see if she agrees.

“Yeah, sounds good! Okay, so thing is I haven't even told the boys that you’re coming over. So once I’m done here I’ll head to JB’s house and tell them that I’m bringing you over..” Kiara says trailing at the end.

“Oh, how will that go!” I say distraughtly.

“I don’t even know! I mean it’s one thing that they find you attractive and hot, but who wouldn’t! You’re a smoke machine,” Kiara says with a smile.

“Oh stop that!” I say with a shy smile. I could feel my cheeks burn.

Kiara giggles in awe.

“But.. it’s another thing for you to be in their presence. You know what I mean? Like sure they may think you’re good looking but you coming over to hang out, it’s a whole nother ball game. I just hope they don’t give you much of a hard time. Just know this y/n! Just give them time to warm up to you,” Kiara beggs.

I nod understandingly taking it all in.

“Alright then. How will I meet you? Since you’re already going to be at John B’s place?” I ask confused with the plan.

“Oh right! Um? I’ll send you their address through a text. Is that cool?” Kiara asks with pleading eyes.

“Yeah that’s cool! Alright well, see you in a bit,” I say with a smile, standing up from the stool.

Kie stands up after me.

“Yeah. Text you in like half an hour!” Kiara says with an excited smile.

I nod and give her a small hug before I leave.

Kiara tightens her grip and I smile into the hug.

I pull away. “Kiara. I’m glad we’re deciding to become close,” I say with a smile.

Kie smiles and nods. “Me too y/n!”

I wave a little goodbye and walk out of the restaurant.

I start walking into town. After about five to seven minutes of walking, I find a cute bench that’s seated under a tree.

I smile as I see the bench surrounded by nature. The huge tree, grassy area, and flowers nearby.

I take a seat and decompress everything that's about to happen. For some reason, I’m really nervous. I’ve never really had much contact with Pogues. But I’ve always admired how strong they are. Not even just physically but mentally. They go through so much in their lives, and apart from that, they’re shit on by the people I’m surrounded within my day to day life.

After looking out at the sun hitting the water, I grab my phone and dial Rafe’s number knowing he’ll be with Kelce and Topper.

The phone rings and instantly the call is answered. I smile knowing Rafe is probably excited to hear my voice. I roll my eyes, my smile widening.

“My favorite girl!” I hear through the phone’s speaker. His voice deep and quite captivating.

“Hi Rafe,” I say with a giggle.

“What can I do for M’lady? Or is she just too excited to see me that she had to call me?” He teases.

I let out a laugh. “Definitely not! It’s actually bad news. Are the boys there too?” I say knowing they were.

“Yeah we’re here!” Kelce and Topper say in unison. Worry stringing along with their words.

“Okay good. Umm, I just gotta rain check on our plans boys,” I say simply.

“What?! What do you mean?” Rafe quickly says.

I smile at his reaction, expecting nothing more.

“I just gotta do something today,” I say, trying to sound convincing.

“Like what things?” Topper trails, questioning me.

“Just some things. Nothing to worry about boys. I’m sorry, I know we’re always together. Take this as a good thing. You’ll have this afternoon to yourselves, without me,” I say with a laugh.

“But why! We know for a fact you have nothing to do!” Kelce exclaims.

Kiara's voice screams in my head. Clingy.

“Just take it as a boys day!” I say knowing they’ll fall for that.

“Okay fine!” Rafe says with a grunt. “But just know you can’t just bail on us like that! Next time we’re not letting this slip by!” Rafe says dominantly.

“Okay... Sureee!” I say with an eye roll.

“I’ll miss you the most!” Topper yells through the phone, beating the other boys to it.

I giggle knowing this’ll start an argument.

“Not true! I’ll miss you the most!” Kelce quickly says.

“Come on boys. We all know who’s going to miss her the most,” Rafe says.

I roll my eyes with a smile.

“I can just imagine the smirk on your face right now Rafe,” I say shaking my head.

“Whatever Rafe!” Kelce says annoyed.

“Bye boys. I’ll miss you!” I say happily. “Mwuah!” I say.

“Ha! I caught that kiss!” Topper yells in victory.

“You guys are ridiculous. Bye!” I say and hang up before they continue to argue.

I roll my eyes and put my phone away, smiling.

I thought to myself, “thank god I ended the call quickly before they asked more questions. Like who I was with or who I’ll be with.”

I stood up from the cute looking bench to walk around town for a bit. I take a look around The Cut. It was quite different from Figure Eight. The buildings here were archaic and run down. The town’s people were torn and exhausted, visible in their faces that all they wanted to do was get a good, long, lasting sleep.

I find a lady selling homemade ice cream by the docs and I smile walking over to her.

As I near her she forms a frightened and terrified look on her face. She grabs onto her cart tightly, as if I were going to take it away or hurt her.

I frown.

“Oh. Um I was just going to get some ice cream,” I trail not wanting to scare her off.

The lady looks at me with a skeptical look in her eyes. I smile, trying to comfort her.

She nods slowly.

“Thanks!” I say vibrantly trying to show her that I’m here with good intentions. “Can I get a chocolate scoop, please?”

“Yeah. Thanks. I thought you were like the others,” She says slowly in a scared tone, still not fully trusting me. She was trying not to offend.

I frown. “I’m so sorry about that. I would never! I just saw that you were selling ice cream and it looked very delicious. Better than those branded manufactured ones from the store,” I say with a giggle.

A smile peaks on her face causing me to smile.

“Thank you, dear. I’m sorry to have acted like that towards you. If I knew you were-” She speaks but I immediately interrupt.

“No! No! Don’t apologize. I’m so sorry for them treating you badly and harmfully. I get mistaken for their kind of behavior all the time. Just know that I’m not like them, at all!” I say referring to the kooks, while she scoops up the ice cream for me.

She looks up from trying to form a perfect scoop.

“There’s still hope then! I thought they were all rude and violent towards my kind of people. Turns out you’re the only one left.” She says handing me my ice cream.

I shoot her a smile.

“You’re so kind! I’ll definitely be coming back,” I say with a smile as I taste her ice cream. “It’s amazing!”

“Thank you, Miss!” She says handing me some napkins. I gladly take them in my hands and hand her the money.

“Thank you very much! It was nice meeting you,” I say, sending her a loving smile.

She smiles brightly and waves me goodbye.

I turn around and start walking back towards the bench I discovered earlier. I take a seat and look out to the shore as I eat my ice cream peacefully. It was the most authentic and tasteful ice cream I have ever tasted.

Twenty minutes later, ice cream was done, and eyes still on the view.

A text from Kiara interrupting the moment.

Okay I’m off work now. I’m currently a few feet away from John B’s house. I’ll send you a text when the light’s green, so you can come over 🤎

I nod as I read it, reacting to her message with a thumbs up.

I stand up from the bench and enter a small liquor store to buy bottled water.

I head over to the fridges grabbing an ice cold water bottle. I go up to the cashier and pay for it.

“Thanks,” I say with a smile and start walking out the door. I walk around for a bit waiting for Kiara’s text.

Kiara’s POV:

I hit send to the message I typed out for y/n. I put my phone away in my back pocket. I sighed nervously as John B’s house came closer and closer into view.

I rubbed my sweaty hands together without noticing. I smile widely as I see the guys on the porch.

“Hi boys!” I say as I feel my curls blowing behind me with the warm wind.

“Hi Kie!” They all say with toothy smiles.

I try my best to hide my nervousness as I look out into the distance. I walk up the porch’s steps and walk over to the boys.

“What’s up Kie!” JJ cheekily says with a goofy smile.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Hi JJ,” I say taking a seat.  

“So you ready?” John B asks with an eyebrow raised.

“To do the same thing we do every day? If so, born ready!” I say letting out a laugh.

“That’s my girl!” JJ exclaims.

I chuckle and for a second I forget that I’m going to break the ice to them about y/n.

“What’s wrong Kie? You seem a bit off!” Pope says in a concerned voice.

“Oh um, nothing really. Better than ever really! It’s just um I have to talk to you guys about something,” I say scanning their faces.

JJ lets out a small chuckle. “What are you talking about?” He says.

I look over to John B and see that he’s leaned back on his chair, eyeing me curiously.

“Just spit it out Kie,” Pope says quickly.

“Yeah Kie. What is it,” JJ says once he sees that the other two boys were taking this seriously.

“Okay. Just please don’t overreact and please and I mean please keep an open mind about what I’m about to say!” I proclaim.

“Um, what?” John B says eyeing JJ and Pope in confusion.

Pope and JJ give John B that same look back.

The three boys look over at me like judges waiting for a declaration.

The boys are as impatient as ever with Kiara’s silence.

“Okay so…. To just let it all out. I invited someone over,” Kiara says and immediately waits for some sort of reaction from the three boys.

“Well, technically you didn’t just let it all out. I mean you kind of let out a high key factor-” Pope says annoyingly using his intelligence before JJ interrupts him.

“YEAH LIKE WHO!” JJ loudly blurts out.

“Yeah Kie... I don’t know about that... I mean you know this circle stays like this,” John B says forming a small circle with his two thumbs and indexes.

I sigh.

“I know. I know. And I’m sorry it’s just this person is pretty cool and I know you guys would like that,” I say, trying to convince the boys. Not yet revealing the gender of this mystery person.

“Yeah! I think we already have enough with our own cool,” John B protests. “We don’t need anyone else and plus who would you even invite? There’s like no one else,” John B continues, still unconvinced.

I look around to Pope and JJ to see that they’re both in doubt about the situation.

“Okay look. This person is someone really important to me and we’re both deciding to evolve our friendship! We were never really close but we’re choosing to change that,” I explain more in detail.

“Okay then if this person is so important to you then why have we never heard of them before?” JJ questions.

“Be-because! She was from my Kook year!” I blurt out.

“What?!!” They all question and exclaim. Their eyes wide and in surprise.

A couple of scoffs are heard.

“Okay, we just heard a couple of things here! Tell us if we’re wrong but did you just say it’s a she and that she’s a KOOK?” Pope says in disbelief.

“We are not having a KOOK over Kie! Kie it’s definitely a no! Like are you crazy? This isn’t our Kie. This is someone else!” JJ says within a millisecond.

“Yeah - I - I don’t even know what to say,” John B says in thought.

“Guys please!” I plead. “What did I say? To keep an open mind and to not overreact and you guys do the exact opposite of what I told you guys not to do!”

“Kiara! She’s a kook. Have you forgotten everything they have done to us? They’re rich, spoiled, brats! They don’t care about anyone but themselves and their money!” Pope fumes.

“Yeah Kie! You literally have personal experience with these kinds of people. Obviously, that’s why you hang with us. Like is there something we’re not getting here? Something we don’t know? You went to school with them and you hated it. Every single second of it!” John B profoundly says.

“Guys! I know. I know. It sounds crazy but trust me! Just, please! When have I ever failed you guys?” I beg and give them a pleading look.

“Kie! What is so important about this girl anyways?” JJ questions genuinely.  

I scoff.

“I don’t know JJ. Why don’t I ask you the same thing?” I reply with a burst of anger.

“What? Why would you have to ask me that?” JJ says, his eyebrows furrowing.

John B and Pope just look at each other with what the fuck expressions on their faces.

“Yeah JJ! Why were you flirting with her?” I say pettily looking at him

JJ's face turns into shock. He scoffs. “Me?” He points at himself and laughs. “Flirting with a kook? Never!” He says fighting me back with laughter and shock all mixed in one.

“JJ I saw it with my own eyes!” I say with annoyance.

“Dude I swear this isn’t you Kie! Are you like okay or something?” JJ says, his eyes looking at me as if something was wrong.

I get angry. “Yes JJ I’m perfectly fine!”

“Well… I mean when a girl says she’s fine, she’s not really fine..” Pope trails barely above a whisper.

“Well, in this case, it doesn’t apply alright!” I furiously say, looking over at Pope.

John B knowing very well that he is not going to butt into this conversation.

“Okay! Then who!” JJ yells annoyed in defiance.

“Y/N! You were literally winking at her and fucking checking her out!” I yell out.

“Oh,” John B lets out with wide eyes.

“What? That - that was not even flirting!” JJ says, trying to sound confident in his response.

“Yeah you stuttered. You can't cover that up now.” Pope says shaking his head.

“I did not stutter!” JJ says shooting Pope a fuck you facial expression.

“Okay fine! She can come,” John B says unexpectedly.

My heart jumps and I turn my head over to him.

I immediately smile and my mouth opens up in thanks.

“If she really means that much to you, she can come,” John B says sweetly.

I stand up from my seat and go in to hug him.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you John B!” I say as I fall into his arms in the process of hugging him.

John B lets out a laugh as he catches me in his lap.

“Okay but only this once!” John B warns pointing a finger at me.

“Yeah if we don’t like her she’s not coming over. Ever again!” JJ protests angrily rolling his eyes.

“No! No! You’ll all love her I promise!” I say immediately.

“I don’t know about love….” Pope trails off as he raises his eyebrows.

“Okay let me go text her! Thank you John B, I love you!” I say getting off his lap.

“Thank you John B, I love you,” JJ mimics in annoyance.

“Fuck off! You were literally the one flirting with her!” I say walking away from them to text Y/N.

As I’m walking into the house I hear the boys talking.

“Why would you say yes?!!” Pope exclaims.

“What?! She’s hot!” John B says referring to y/n.

“I heard that!” I yell at them.

“ANDD she must be amazing since Kie is friends with her!” John B adds trying to save himself.

“Ha! Thought so,” I say walking into the house as the boys continue to hush their conversation.

I go to my messages and Y/N and I’s previous conversation pops up.

I click on the voice memo to record my voice message.

Hey Y/N! Okay good news! I got them to say yes!! It took quite a bit of convincing and arguing but I got it! I’m sending you the address right now! Okay see you in a bit! Byee.

I send the voice memo and walk out to the porch and sit with the guys.

Y/N’s POV:

I was walking around the shops in The Cut when I got a text from Kiara.

I open the message seeing that it’s a voice memo. I put the phone closer to my ear in hopes of being able to hear the message nice and clear with the commotion around.

Hey Y/N! Okay good news! I got them to say yes!! It took quite a bit of convincing and arguing but I got it! I’m sending you the address right now! Okay see you in a bit! Byee.

Midway through the voice memo, I get another ding as Kiara sends the address.

Butterflies come to life in the pit of my stomach as I copy and paste the address onto Google Maps.

I click on ‘start route’ once the app gives me the fastest route to the destination. It says it’ll take a 10 minute walk.

It directs me to walk straight until I make it off the docks.

I get off the maps app and text Kiara.

Hey Kie! Alright, it says I’ll be there in 10. See you there!

I continue walking for the next couple of minutes on the docs as I hear the ocean beneath me.

I feel a sense of security and safeness from the sounds of the wind blowing against the water, forming the waves.

The docs were coming to an end, so I open up the maps and see that it’s telling me to turn left and walk straight until I see Hawks St.

On Hawks St turn right, siri says.

I continue walking straight, leaving the ocean behind me.

The map is leading me to the part of The Cut where the houses reside.

I’m halfway done with the walk when I reach Hawks St.

I look down and wait for siri’s next direction when I take a right.

Keep walking north until you reach “The Dirt’s Path”

I look at my surroundings and see a community of small homes in the suburbs. These houses were small and fading. They were either falling apart or on the verge of breaking down. Some houses were visibly taken care of but still not in the best conditions.

I keep walking and realize that I haven’t yet seen a street sign nor street post. As I realized I felt scared. I felt lost and afraid. I looked around and it was empty, no one was around. I looked down at my phone’s maps and saw that more minutes have gotten added to the time. I must’ve missed “The Dirt’s Path” or something.

The maps were no longer useful as it was just saying rerouting.

I sigh in frustration and turn off my phone.

I try to find the so-called Dirt’s Path and realize that it was going to be much harder than I realized. I have no idea how John B’s house looks like. I don’t know what to expect or what to look for.

All the houses I walked by were side by side and facing each other. They were a couple of blocks down from the beach and water line. These houses were placed like suburbans. I don’t know if John B’s house is like one of these or if his home is by the water?

I run a hand through my hair in frustration. What am I gonna do? Do I text Kie? But what’s the point in telling her I’m lost? I wouldn’t know how to tell her where I am. There were no street names I can refer to.

I throw that idea out the trash and try to find another way to John B’s house.

I continue walking forwards now more aware of my surroundings, trying not to get lost, more than I already am.

I then meet a dirt path as all the suburban laid out homes end. Could this be The Dirt’s Path?

I mean it is a literal path of dirt.

I take a leap of faith and walk into the dirt. As I walk further into this new part of The Cut, I realize the difference between the structures. These homes were more stretched out and spacious in land but the homes were shabby looking and on dirt. While the other homes were on cement. Another thing was that these houses were feet away from the water.

My phone dings must be a message from Kiara.

I grab it and read.

Where are you? Seven minutes ago

Better not have bailed on me :( Two minutes ago

I must have lost connection since I’m just getting her texts.

Just finding my way arounddd…

I send not wanting to admit that I’m lost.

She immediately responds.

Okay I got worried! Cause you said 10 minutes and it now been like 20

I read her message and go back to maps and see that I'm less than a minute away!

I get excited knowing I’m no longer lost.

I look up ahead and realize that it must be the white rectangular house with a nice porch, grassy area, and amazing view of the water. It was right on the edge.

I walk up to it when I knew for certain that it’s the house. I turn off my phone and get closer by the second. My eyes then meet four people sitting down on the porch. I catch Kiara’s crazy beautiful hair and see the three boys inches away from her. They all seem comfortable and content.

Once I make it to the steps of the porch I call out Kie’s name.

They all turn in their seats, looking over at me.

Kiara smiles widely and stands from her seat.

“Y/N!!” She loudly exclaims as she walks over to me, hugging me.

“I’m sooo nervous!” I whisper once our bodies physically collide into a hug.

“Don’t even sweat it!” She whispers into my hair.

I nod and we both let go of the hug.

I look over to the boys from the bottom of the porch and see them staring at us.

I wave at them and they all give me a small awkward wave, in return. I don’t take offense to it knowing they must feel weird about the situation.

“Come on!” Kie says intertwining our fingers. She leads me up the steps and deeper into the porch. Over to the seated boys.

She sits down on a couch that’s empty and pats the seat left to her, insinuating for me to sit down. I comply and get comfy. The boys' eyes on us, mostly on me, the whole time.

“Hey guys,” I say with a warm smile, waving again.

John B is on the chair to my left next to the couch that Kie and I are sitting on, Pope on the width of the porch, and JJ across from us.

“Guys this is Y/N!” She starts. “And Y/N this is JJ,” She says and points in front of us.

JJ waves but it kind of seems forced.

I smile and mutter a small hi.

“This is Pope,” She says and points to our left.

“Hi. I’m Pope,” He says in welcome.

I smile feeling better about being here. His kind nature warming me up.

“Hi,” I say cheerfully.

“I’m John B,” John B says.

I look over at him.

He reaches his arm out to me and I smile, taking his hand in mine. He shakes my hand confidently with a large smile, causing me to blush.

I smile noticing that he didn’t have to wait for Kiara to introduce us. He took initiative.

“Y/N,” I say smiley.

“Nice to meet you. You have such a pretty name,” He says sweetly letting go of my hand.

“Thanks,” I say with a blush and a smile.

“Yeah. Anytime,” He smiles pridefully once he sees me get all shy.

Kiara nudges me and I try to ignore her but I can only imagine the grin she holds.

I look forward and see JJ noticing Kie and I’s encounter. Catching onto Kiara teasing me about John B and I’s little moment.

I see that his eyes turn dark as his face becomes tight. He seems mad.

I just looked away, acting oblivious.

“Sorry I was late. I got lost” I say letting out a nervous chuckle.

“Don’t stress it. It can happen to any of us,” Pope says with a smile.

“Can it though?” JJ questions trying to throw shade at me.

My eyes swift over to him, my smile falling. His eyes everywhere but on me but I know for a fact he feels my eyes on him.

The boys stay quiet knowing the answer.

Kiara kicks JJ right on his shin.

JJ immediately looks over to Kiara and shoots her a glare.

I don’t make it obvious that I’m aware of the fit JJ and Kiara are having.

Kiara sends a glare right back at JJ, in hopes that he’ll be nicer.

“It’s okay!” Kie says with a warm kind smile, now looking at me.

I nod and get a bit of reassurance before JJ continues with his antics.

“Yeah I mean it must be so hard for you to walk these streets right? You’re used to street signs and easy transportation. Unlike here on The Cut. We’re full of broken streets and full of dirt paths. Kind of a given that you wouldn’t find your way around.” JJ rudely says rolling his eyes.

John B’s eyes widen. John B wouldn’t care if it was said to any other kook but John B just had a gut feeling that Y/N wasn’t like those other kooks. It was like with Kie. Kiara was no one compared to the Kooks.

The only difference between Y/N and Kiara was that Kie wants nothing to do with the kooks. On the contrary, Y/N is surrounded and close friends with them. Living the Kook life, just Y/N’s morals are thoughtful and generous, unlike the Kooks.

“Hey man-” John B starts in a way to stop JJ, feeling bad.

“No. No! It’s okay. I deserve it anyway.” I say with a shrug but inside of me, my heart stung. I mean what he was saying was true but did he have to be so rude about it?

I see in the corner of my eyes Pope making a double take at my response.

“What?” Kiara says angrily at my response. “How in the world do you deserve that?” Kiara says to me.

I look over at JJ and he just has a straight face, no emotion appearing on his light soft skin.

But JJ was just as shocked at her response as everyone else. He would expect any kook to fight back with a response but never in a million years would he expect one to just accept his rude comebacks.

It was silent as those seconds passed by before Kiara spoke up again.

“You did nothing wrong! I mean yeah kooks are living a better life than here at The Cut. But how is that on you?” Kiara continues.

I stay silent. Not wanting to say anything.

“JJ! I’m fucking letting this slide. For now. But just watch when we’re alone! Don’t think you’re getting away with this,” She says, anger evident in her voice.

“Kiara. It’s fine,” I say putting a hand on her shoulder, trying to forget all about it.

Kiara turns to me and sends me a look. She shakes her head telling me she wasn’t going to let this go. I just stayed quiet, again.

I look down at my lap and fiddle with my fingers.

I kinda miss Rafe right now. He would never treat me like this. Nor would Topper or Kelce.

I start to feel myself closing up to them.

Kiara notices and puts an arm around me.

“You know I kinda miss Rafe now,” I say only for Kiara to hear.

“They’re that bad huh!” Kiara whispers back, referring to her friends.

“Eh,” I say with a shrug.

“Well I mean if you’re missing him of all people. They must be reallyyy bad!” Kiara accidentally says loud enough for the boys to hear.

“Oh shit!” Kiara says once all of the boy’s eyes were on us.

“Kiara!” I say, giving her a look. My eyes wide in embarrassment.

“She has a big mouth! Huh?!” John B says with a laugh.

“Tell me about it,” I say looking over at him as my heart flutters knowing that they’re not all bad.

I hear Pope chuckle, making me smile. So, JJ was the only mean one I say to myself. Taking a mental note.

JJ stays quiet just sitting on his chair. Looking around like nothing happened.

I decide to let it slide and not let it affect my afternoon with Kie. Allowing myself to further get to know Pope and John B.

“So who is this guy you’re missing?” Pope sillily says with a toothy smile.

“Oh, no one!” I say with a nervous smile, that just happens to go from ear to ear.

My eyes notice JJ shifting and moving in his seat as I cheekily smile.

“With that smile! It must be someone,” John B teases causing my smile to widen.

“No! He’s just a friend!” I say as my cheeks turn red. I try to cover my face in my hands.

“Aww. You’re so shy!” John B cooes.

“Yeah. It’s kinda cute!” Pope adds.

“She does this all the time!” Kiara says with a playful eyeroll.

“It just happens okay!” I let out in a laugh.

The three are in amusement with the new girl before their eyes. Meanwhile, JJ just sits awkwardly in his seat, not daring to say a word. But he couldn’t help but think of how adorable the girl before him was. She was precious and her embarrassment and shyness added to her cuteness.

For the most part, JJ regrets letting his Pogue pride get in the way of getting to know Y/N. But all he can do now is hold his exterior high.

He still does hate the fact that she has everything that he doesn’t but he feels kind of bad because she seems genuine.  

After John B, Pope, Kiara, and I settled down from our fits of laughter, Pope speaks up.

“So Kiara tells us you’re a kook?” He asks.

John B’s eyes lighten up.

“Yeah! I mean it honestly doesn’t even seem like it. You seem so chill and quite frankly adorable!” John B adds.

I smile and feel my cheeks warming up.

“Yeah I mean I guess you could say I am,” I say like it’s nothing.

“She’s literally the kookest of the kooks! Except she’s a total sweetheart!” Kiara says, opening her mouth.

“Elaborate on the kookest of the kooks?” Pope curiously asks.

“Yeah like she's the kookest of the kooks! She’s literally at the top, her and her family. Which is quite ironic right? She’s the richest, has the biggest house in the OBX, best cars, and trucks, the list goes on.” Kie lists to the guys. “Oh, and how could I forget? The best looking!”

“Wow, and I mean yeah! Shouldn’t that make you the brattiest and the meanest?” John B says with a chuckle knowing y/n is the exact opposite based on what he’s known of her.

“And the bitchiest?” JJ remarks with an annoyed look on his face.

I look over at him, my eyebrows furrowed.

“I mean do you think I’m a bitch?” I say finally speaking up.

Pope and John B give each other a look.

JJ stays quiet as if I never even spoke.

“And you say kooks are arrogant and self centered!” I mutter letting out a scoff but they all hear clear as day.

“If you have anything to say, then say it!” I say looking straight at JJ even though he wasn’t even looking at me.

Y/N’s a shy sweet girl but that doesn’t interfere with her courage. She’s fiery and stands up for herself.

He finally looks over at me.

“I don’t have anything to say,” He says plainly and looks away right after.

I would’ve called him a coward then and there but I didn’t want to ruin the moment with the rest of us.

Kiara smiles at me telling me good job with her smile, causing me to let out a small laugh.

I look to my left and notice Pope sending me a thumbs up with a huge smile causing me to giggle.

He deserves it, is what they’re trying to say.  

I was a bit worried that John B and Pope might not like me after answering back to JJ, but they seem pleased with the fact that I did.

I sigh to myself in relief.

“Yeah, one day you all can come over!” I smile. “Well I mean if you guys decide to want me around,” I end with a small giggle.

Pope’s eyes get big but JJ interrupts right as Pope is about to speak.

“Yeah... I don’t think so. So don’t get your hopes up,” JJ bluntly says.

My mouth opens to respond but Kiara quickly changes the subject.

“You were saying something, Pope?” She says trying to proceed with the conversation.

“First off JJ, speak for yourself!” Pope declares. “And! Like, go over to your mansion?” Pope baffles at me.

“I mean I wouldn't call it a mansion,” I trail with a laugh, ignoring JJ’s remark completely.

“Oh stop being so modest!” Kiara says with an eye roll.

“Only if we can steal your dad’s car and drink the finest wine and champagne your family possesses!” John B jokes.

“Deal!” I beam.

We all let out a chuckle, except for one.

“Let’s play a game!” John B blurts out of nowhere.

Kiara gasps.

“Great idea!” She says and reaches out under the couch. “I think I saw some Uno cards under here,” She mumbles.

“Okay. But let’s spice it up” I dare with a devilish look.

“I like how this is sounding. Go on,” Pope ponders.

“Okay how about this! While we’re all playing Uno we can all ask each other, Never Have I Ever questions!” I propose.

“Okay. Sounds interesting,” Kiara says now shuffling the Uno cards.

“Serves the purpose of getting to know each other,” Pope says getting closer. He places a small table in the middle of us to put the cards on.

“Uno says a lot about someone’s behavior! So we’ll be on a close lookout for yours!” John B slightly teases.

“Oh yeah. Definitely doesn’t make me nervous at all!” I say with a playful eye roll.  

“Yeah, we already noticed the eye roll. We’ll add that to our observation list,” Pope laughs.

“Stop!” I say feeling my cheeks get warm.

Kiara laughs and starts to hand us all our individual small decks.

“Well, this is going to be a long afternoon!” JJ huffs getting his deck from Kiara.

“Okay, Y/N never have I ever!” John B thrills, as we all ignore JJ’s remark.

“What!” I say with a wide smile. ”We haven’t even started the Uno game and you’re already bombarding me with questions!” I end with a laugh.

“Well too bad!” He says with a sly smile.

“Okay fine,” I say giving in and placing the first card of the game.

Kiara then places her card on top of mine.

“Never have I ever had my first kiss,” John B questions as he eyes me.

“I mean yeah. Duh!” I say as I make an obvious face.

“Okay just asking!” John B says in surrender causing me to chuckle.

“I think we need a storytime!” Kiara pesters.

“Ha! Definitely not,” I retort.

“Oh come on tell us! It can’t be that bad!” Pope prys.

“Oh. It wasn’t bad at all! It was quite magical, actually,” I add in remembrance of the day.

“Okay then, see! Tell us,” Kiara prys.

“Yeahh. No,” I say knowing that if I name the boy it’ll ruin the night.

“Well if it’s not a bad first kiss then why not tell us?” Pope says adding a card.

“Because,” I say with a laugh. “I have my reasons,”

“Oh come on!” Kiara says, forcefully making me look at her pouty face.

“Okay fine,” I say with a huff, knowing they wouldn’t stop until I tell them.

“Yes!” Pope says with a clap.

“Bingo,” John B retorts as Pope and him give each other a handshake.

I roll my eyes at them and smile.

“It was a middle school dance. I was in sixth grade and the boy was in eighth grade. A slow dan-” I say as I was trying to tell them the story before Kiara eagerly interrupts.

“The boy being?” Kiara interrogates with a smirk.

I give her a side eye and continue the story without answering. Completely ignoring her.

“Oh come on!” The three say. The three being Kiara, John B, and Pope.

“No! I’m not saying!” I remark.

“How much do you want to bet it’s the boy you and Kiara were secretly talking about earlier,” John B says with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows.

I get scarlet red and shake my head, a smile waiting to be released.

“No way!” Kiara says putting the dots together in her head. “It is! isn’t it?”

I stay quiet holding in my smile but failing miserably.

“It all makes sense! No wonder the boy is with you 24/7. It makes sense as to why he’s so clingy with you. You locked him in with a kiss!” Kiara gushes.

“You’re ridiculous!” I say with an eye roll.

I look away from Kiara and lookup.

My eyes meet JJ’s and my heart skips a beat. He’s so beautiful. His blonde beachy hair and sky blue eyes. For a second his facial expressions seem kind and warm, but they quickly change to cold and menacing ones, once he sees my gaze on him.

I look away.

“Next question!” I say as I place a card onto the table.

“What? But you never finished the story,” Pope reckons.

“Oh right,” I say with a playful sigh. “I was dancing with my friends when a slow dance came on. He came over and asked me to dance with him. Me and him weren't exactly friends at the time but we knew each other, he was really nice to me despite him being an eighth grader. We spent the rest of the night together. Dancing and having a good time. I look back at that night and know it’s one of the best nights I’ve ever had. It was remarkable and straight out of a cliche movie. The last dance was of course a slow dance and he offered to dance one last time. Of course, I said yes, so he takes me by my hand and takes me onto the dance floor. In the middle of the song we both leaned in and kissed. I was dying on the inside, I remember I was like oh my god I’m kissing the cutest guy in school!” I say ending the brief and quick story with a laugh.

“Okay, and what happened next?!” John B presses.

“What?” I say with a laugh. “I thought we’re only talking about the first kiss,”

Pope and Kiara gasp.

“So you’re saying you shared more than one kiss?” Kiara says with wide eyes.

“What! No!” I say knowing I just exposed myself.

“Now you gotta tell us more!” Pope says intrigued.

“Okay fine!” I say with an eye roll. “After our kiss ended, so did the dance. So, he offered to walk me home. We talked and he made me laugh the whole way there. When we made it to the gate of my house we were saying our goodbyes and right as I was about to enter he pulled me into another kiss. Might I add it was even better than the first! Maybe cause I was a bit more comfortable with kissing. Who knows but it was. I know if I leave the story at that, you guys will continue to ask questions. So let me sum it up, he graduated middle school but we continued to talk during that summer. We became friends and now after all those years, he’s still my best friend. I know he’ll always be there for me and I can trust him with my life,” I say to them.

“Wow,” John B says looking up at me after placing his card.

“We’re definitely talking about this later!” Kiara beams. “Cause I know for a fact it’s him!” Kiara says, referring to Rafe.

I roll my eyes and groan.

“It’s not!” I claim. Even though it is. Rafe was my first kiss.

“What! That’s not fair.” Pope states with a whine.

“Yeah I agree. Y/N if you’re going to continue to hang around we have to know what you guys are going to talk about,” John B says.

“Are you trying to blackmail me?” I say with a raised brow, letting out a laugh. “But don’t even worry about it. We’re not talking about it!”

“Yes, we are!” Kiara says as she places a reverse card.

“Gosh! You guys are so annoying,” JJ says with a huff.

“I think it’s just you,” Pope says.

“Alright, then my turn!” JJ says determinedly.

“Never have I ever been so bored with my kook life that I had to give it some spice by hanging out with pogues as entertainment,” JJ speaks looking at me with fire in his eyes, waiting for my answer.

I look him straight in the eyes. “Never,” I say.

“I have,” Kiara answers.

“The question wasn’t meant for you,” JJ says, moving his eyes off mine as he speaks to Kiara.

“Well, it applied to me so I answered,” Kiara says with sass.

JJ rolls his eyes in defeat and lays back in his seat.

John B nudged me causing me to realize it’s my turn.

I look down at my card and see that I have a blank action card.

I place it down in the pile.

“JJ,” I say with a smirk, catching his attention.

His heart skips a beat, as he hears his name rolling perfectly out of her lips.

I can feel everyone’s eyes on me.

“What?” He says with an eye roll.

“Draw 20 cards,” I say with a fake sweet smile.

Next to me, I feel Kiara stifling in her laughter.

“Ooo. This just got interesting,” Pope says with a laugh.

“I’m not doing that,” He fumes.

“You okay there JJ? I think I can see smoke coming out of your ears,” John B teases.

“Cut it out, man!” JJ says at John B.

We all continue to laugh which proceeds with JJ throwing the cards down on the table.

Kiara, Pope, and John B look up at him in surprise.

“I’m not playing this stupid game, anymore!” He says standing up from his seat and walking away into the house.

We all let out loud laughs and continue to play.

“Go Kie,” John B says, but worriedly looks over at JJ.

“Hmm okay. Never have I ever had a one night stand,” Kie asks.

“Never,” I answer.

“I have,” John B says.

“Regretfully yes,” Pope responds.

“Yeah me neither,” Kiara answers.

“Never have I ever fallen in love,” I ask them.

We all answer a no.

“Never have I ever called a teacher mom,” Pope asks.

I giggle.

“Oh come on! I think we all have,” Kiara laughs.

John B places his second to last card on the pile and is left with one.

“UNO!” I yell at him.

His eyes widen and he looks down at his card.

“Darn it!” He says and lets out a groan.

I smile and let out a laugh.

Kiara hands him four cards.

I look straight ahead of me, where JJ previously was. The night approaching.

Wow, the time has gone by so fast. I smile knowing that I've had a great time. John B and Pope were amazing. They’re funny and welcoming. They made me feel nice and equal to them.

As I was in my head, Kiara placed her last card causing her to win the round.

Pope and John B roll their eyes.

“Why do you always win?” Pope says with an eye roll.

“Because I’m smart. Duh!” She says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes at her.

“Oh relax!” I say giving her a look.

“Is this a challenge I’m sensing?” She scoffs playfully.

“OOO girl fight!” Pope comments.

Kiara rolls her eyes and I just laugh.

We start picking up the cards and placing them back in its box.

“JJ! COME OVER HERE! John B yells. Hoping it would reach JJ inside the house.

I look behind me in the direction of the house and see JJ reluctantly walking out.

“Come on, man!” John B says once JJ is outdoors, trying to convince his best friend to come back.

“Yeah, before we replace you with Y/N,” Pope jokes.

“Haha!” JJ says in monotone, shooting him a glare. “So funny, Pope,”

“Aw. Come on lighten up, J,” John B says with a smile.

“Yeah,” JJ says once he makes it over to us, keeping his response short.

JJ sits back down in his seat.

I sense the awkwardness in the room, even though we’re all outside.

“Hey... I think I’ll start heading out,” I say to them.

“What? Why?” Kiara asks in surprise, frowning.

“I- I just don’t want to make things weird,” I say standing from the couch. “But it was very nice talking to you guys!” I say looking over to my left where Pope and John B reside.

They shoot me sympathetic smiles.

“Likewise,” Pope says smiling sweetly.

“Thanks,” I smile.

“Fine. Let me walk you out,” Kiara says, starting to stand from her seat.

“No!” John B interjects, standing up from his chair instantly. “I got it.”

“Oh. Um okay..” Kiara says sitting back down in her seat, before even getting to fully stand up.

I blush and hesitantly look up at him.

He smiles assuringly, making my heart flutter.

I look away shyly. My eyes falling on JJ’s.

He looks bothered by the fact that John B intervened with Kiara walking me out. His eyes look like they’re filled with rage and annoyance.

If I knew any better I’d say he looked jealous. But why? Literally the whole goddamn time he treated me like his punching bag.

“Actually I’ll join you. Let me just get my things,” Kiara says standing from her seat.

John B and I nod, as she walks into John B’s house.

“Come on,” John B says, placing his hand gently on my back. Insinuating for me to walk off the porch.  

I start walking off, John B behind me.

I turn around as I make it to the steps.

“Bye,” I say brightly, looking over at Pope.

He grins and waves goodbye. “I’ll see you,”

I nod and then look over at JJ.

This time he’s acknowledging me. Maybe because I’m leaving?

“Bye JJ,” I say softly, giving him a small wave.

His icy blue eyes locking with mine.

My stomach erupts in butterflies. Fuck.

“Bye.” He lightly says.

I smile and look down, looking away.

I smile, blushing.

He seemed quite sincere in his response. Gosh, this boy is making me go crazy. First, he looks at me all flirtatiously winking at me and all. Then, when we meet he’s a completely different person. And now he says goodbye to me, like in such a kind manner. He doesn’t make sense. Does he hate me or not?

I make it down the steps of the porch and John B and I continue to walk a good distance away from the boys.

“Thanks,” I say once we make it to a stop.

I look up at him. I feel tingly as my eyes lay on him. His tall figure giving me butterflies and his tan muscular skin making me spin.

He smiles looking down at me, causing me to blush even more.

“Yeah. No problem,” He smiles, continuing to look down at me.

“Gosh, you’re making me act all shy…” I say looking down at the ground.

I hear him chuckle, making me smile.

“Sorry!” He says, thinking of how adorable the girl before him is. “But look before Kiara comes. I just wanted to say I’d love to have you around. Ignore JJ. Don’t let his attitude discourage you. He’s just protective that’s all. I’m really sorry about him. It honestly surprised me, I didn't think he'd be that harsh…” John B says, running his hand in his hair awkwardly, in hopes that it’d make up for it.

“Wait? Really!” I say in awe about him wanting me around.

“Yeah! Definitely,” He says in a reassuring tone.

“Okay,” I say with a pleased smile.

“Okay..” He says, repeating after me. “Look and yet again, I’m really sorry about JJ and his rude comments and remarks. I don’t know what got into him. Really,” He says looking into my eyes, again, trying to explain.

I nod.

“He’s just very…. How do I say this? It’s the dumb kook vs. pogue rivalry. But he should’ve realized that you’re different. I mean even Pope realized it. He’s just probably still not over the fact that you’re a kook. But I mean Kiara is a kook too. So, it shouldn’t be any different. But I’m sure he’ll loosen up soon. So please don’t let him discourage you from coming over. We’d all love for you to be here more often,” He says smiling.

“Okay. I will. It was really fun. I had a great time. So thanks,” I say looking up at him to keep eye contact.

“Yeah.” He says.

He opens his arms and I smile joining his embrace. He wraps his arms around my back loosely as I place my arms under his, wrapping them around his back.

The hug was short but nice.

I look back at the house and see Pope and JJ looking over at us.

I look back at John B, he too notices them looking.

He shakes his head and laughs.

“Ready?” Kiara yells coming out of the house.

I nod and smile.

“Bye boys!” She says to Pope and JJ as she passes by the porch.

They say their goodbyes as John B and I wait for her by the hammocks.  

Once Kiara makes it over to us, John B gives me another quick hug.

“Bye friend,” He says with a playful smile.

I laugh and wave him goodbye.

I can feel Kiara smiling as John B walks back to the porch.

“Sooo! What was that all that about?!” Kiara says happily poking my sides.

“Oh god! Nothing, he was just telling me to ignore JJ and to come around more often,” I explain as we both start walking away.

“Really! That’s great! See! I told you!” She says poking my sides.

I laugh trying to get away from her as we walk off.

Kiara giggles. “Well just wanted to let you know that every time John B and you had a moment JJ looked furious!! I’ve never seen him act like that!” She gushes.

“Oh god,” I say, rolling my eyes at her.

✿❀

Hello Everyone💛Thank you so much for reading my first ever series and imagine that was written specifically for Tumblr. So welcome☺️

This part is an introductory chapter. I made sure you all got to know more of the characters including Y/N. I have so many interesting and amazing thing planned for The One and Only JJ: Maybank. So, fasten your seatbelts cause you’re in for a hell of a ride!

I would greatly appreciate your likes, reblogs, and comments :) 

Thank you all! 💖

taglist: 

@annab-nana​

[hyunjilicious]

what is and what should never be [bucky barnes]

A/n: ok, so. Im really fucking insecure about this. I literally poured my heart into this fic. I'm genuinely unhappy with the beginning, but I promise you, it gets better!! I don't have it in me to rewrite it for the 4th time. I really hope you'll still like it though. If you ask me, this is the best fic idea I even had. Please, please, if you enjoyed it, let me know!!!

Summary: It was you and Bucky. An unlikely couple that shared equally disturbed pasts. When you get a day off, your paradise turns into hell as Bucky's nightmares return, leaving you alone to deal with The Winter Soldier. (FLUFF, SMUT, ANGST) 12k

Warnings: 2 smut scenes - they're graphic but not extreme, fluff, angst, violence, mentions of death and suicide, blood, a fight scene - also quite graphic but it was written to serve the angst. I don't want to spoil the ending, but if you really connect with the characters, you will not hate me!!

This day had been long awaited. After months of back to back missions and endless efforts to climb up the greasy pole of US social standards, words failed to describe how ecstatic you were to know, that for the next 24 hours, your whole schedule would fully be in your hands.

You had the freedom to do just about anything you wanted, and the simple fact that the rest of the avengers left to deal with some paperwork excited you to no end. You woke up when it was time for them to take off, and made a snarky remark about heading to the gym - something along the lines of having a productive day centered on self development.

Just about 20 minutes later, you and Bucky, now also alone in the Stark Tower, decided to start off your day on the right foot. He offered to make protein smoothies as you changed into something comfortable and fitting for a workout, but neither of you got their job done.

You had no idea how that happened, but before you knew it you were wearing your sports bra and still had your pajama pants on, moaning on the counter of Tony's kitchen as Bucky had lodged himself between your legs, hungrily exploring the heated skin of your neck, peppering you with bruise marks that represented his adoration for you. "You heal fast anyway" he shrugged, pulling you closer and digging his teeth into your flesh, sucking profusely and eliciting an erotic moan from your lips. 

With every new hickey he left, another one would disappear, which in turn would make him even more frustrated, “The hell should I do? Tattoo hickeys on you!?” he groaned, moving up your neck. You caught his cheeks into your palms and kissed him back, smiling as he kept getting more and more aggravated. 

It didn't come as a surprise when the blender went berserk, splattering fruit pulp, almond milk and protein powder all over the pristine walls of the room - both of you have long forgotten about it. 

The way Bucky cleaned the mess was the epitome of not giving a shit, and you couldn't find it more endearing. He bitched and whined his way through the whole process, and tears formed at the corners of your eyes at the ridiculousness of the half assed job he just did. 

You eventually reached the gym - of course, against all your pouting and begging to put off this session. "Doll, you're the only avenger who can't fight. A punk on the street could snap your purse and there would be nothing you can do"

Wrong, he was not. You couldn't fight - but at the same time that didn't mean you were defenceless. It was your immense power that for months on end made your teammates consider you a liability. The energy that surged through your veins had been too great for you to handle, and in fact, it still was, but now, thanks to the joined efforts of Tony and Bruce, there was a way for that power to be contained. Their solution came in the form of two massive shackles wrapped around the length of your forearms. They were made of dimeritium and kept all kinds of energy from leaving your body. But, even so, that energy was in full form, buzzing inside every fiber of your being. And so, while wearing them you couldn't attack anyone, but there wasn't a way for them to harm you either. That field of energy protected you from every kind of damage and wounds you had ever encountered, ranging from fist fights to automatic rifles to guided grenades.

"I'm the only one that doesn't need to know" you huffed and puffed, annoyed but still determined to get this first training session done with.

But that never happened. Halfway through your warm up rounds, your teasing side awoke and it took you about ten minutes to go from batting your eyelashes and flaunting your ass, to nonchalantly cupping his cock into your hand.

No one could blame Bucky for not even trying to stop you. Bless him, he did everything he could, but he was never able to resist you. And probably never will be.

By the time you were done at the gym, both your bodies were coated in lecherous layers of sweat, no of them being from actually working out. It was only a matter of time until you managed to break his self control and he had you sprawled on all fours in the middle of the boxing ring, moaning your soul out as he pounded your pussy. 

The momentum made your whole frame rock back and forth, your hair falling around your face, "Holy fuck-" 

The room vibrated with the vulgar slaps he afflicted on your bare ass. You arched your back and cried his name out loud, "Come on, Bucky- I- harder please-"

"How are you already so needy?" he chuckled, caging your waist between his strong arms and pulling you up until your back reached his chest. "I ate this pussy this morning before we got out of bed"

"You know I love your tongue-" you giggled out of breath as you tried to look at him over your shoulder. "But it doesn't compare to your cock"

"What does?" Bucky rhetorically questioned before picking up his pace. He kept slamming his hips into yours, fucking you at full force as with each thrust, his cock rammed against your walls hard enough to make you see stars.

"I'm really fucking close, Buck" you whined, feeling your knees start to refuse to maintain your weight any longer. 

"Don't cum yet" he panted, "Wait for me"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you cried out loud, liquid pleasure seeping out of you in the form of fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. "Please-" you whined, "I can't hold it anymore, I'm-"

"Not yet, baby" Bucky groaned, easily stopping you from wiggling around in his hold. His thrusts became sloppy and the orgasm got the best of him. He buried his face deep in your shoulder as his high forced guttural moans to rip from his throat. 

As he filled you up with his cum, as much as you wanted to comment about him making you wait and then not even bothering to tell you you could cum, you couldn't. Your eyes rolled back in pleasure and your chest heaved as the spiral of bliss seemed to go on and on, tons of ecstasy propagating in long painful waves across your body.

"Fuck-" Bucky panted as helped you up, "I could get used to days like this. We should retire"

"I'm not retiring-" you teasingly shook your head, "not until you find a way to give me a baby"

"I'd give you all the babies" he retorted, tugging your hand.

It caused you to lose your balance and stumble into his chest, "I love you"

"Love you" Bucky kissed the top of your head and spun you around. With his palms on your hips, he started guiding you towards the door, "Let's get you cleaned up"

And then, another wave of unproductivity followed. You showered, ordered pizza, whined about how there was still some smoothie left on the floor, and after you warned him about it, your face fell as Bucky stepped directly in the middle of the puddle of almond milk. He was fuming, the incident wiped any traces of happiness off his face. He mumbled something about that being the last pair of comfy socks he had left and something about Tony's devices being a constant pain in the ass. 

He went on and on until you ambushed him with kisses up his neck and shoved your hands under his shirt. In an instant his bickering turned into soft giggles as he innocently relaxed under your touch. You eventually cleaned up the mess and tried to make yourself busy. Nothing worked, you weren't in the mood for anything and at the same time, even though you did absolutely nothing all day, you felt a wave of tiredness envelop you.

At about 4pm, and you Bucky had already been lazily laying in bed, a mess of tangled limbs under the fluffy duvet. Your conversation started from the tactical gear he swore would look better on you than on him and then wondered how you didn't know how to sow.

"I'll hit you" you threatened.

"I'm sorry" he laughed, holding onto your forearm as it was resting on his chest, "But you know how much I love it when you get angry at my misogynistic jokes"

"It's rude" you scoffed - you didn't mean his jokes, but the fact that when he grew up, women were not anywhere near where they are today. 

"You know I don't mean it"

"I know you don't" you laughed, "Otherwise I'd have actually hit you"

"Don’t worry" Bucky said, "I'd hit myself if I was that stupid"

"Cute" you smiled, kissing his shoulder. Looking up at him, you promoted your chin against his chest, "Do you miss it? The 40s i mean"

He thought about it for a second. "Nah" there was a bit of nostalgia in his tone, but you believed him. "I've kinda made my peace with the fact that everyone from my old life is gone. I wouldn't want to go back now. I got you. I got all of you guys. I'm good now, really good"

"I'm glad" you beamed, feeling yourself warm up from the inside just thinking of the progress he made. After a few seconds, you spoke up again, "But what about the society? Like the day to day life? How do you like the 2010s?"

"I can't lie" Bucky laughed, "I liked Romania better. Much simpler."

"You lived in a dead beat apartment, hiding everyday" you scoffed, "How was that better?"

"I don't know… maybe it was the simple life. Apparently I'm all about that"

"You'd move back there?"

"If you came with me?" he questioned, looking down at you. There was genuine sincerity in his eyes and a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. "Wouldn’t even think twice"

"Maybe one day" you sighed with content. You snuggled back against his side, and closed your eyes. "We're not done avenging yet" you mumbled.

He didn't say anything to that. You didn't know whether he was getting lost in thoughts or if he was starting to drift off, but you would have been fine with either. When he spoke up again, you didn't expect the conversation to take this route.

"About Romania…" he sighed, "What made you come with Steve back in 2016?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean-" he muttered, rubbing his light stubble, "I know why Steve came-" Bucky chuckled, "And Sam's all up his ass, so there's that. But what about you?"

"I-"

"I'm aware of the rift I caused between you guys back then. So that's why I'm asking. What made you stand by Steve from the beginning?"

"I knew how much you meant to him. And I know how this is going to sound, but I felt sorry for you, Buck. I know what it's like to be alone, to have everyone turn against you. You deserved better"

"Love-?" he called softly, his voice nearly breaking. "What do you mean you know what it's like to have everyone turn against you?"

As you maintained the eye contact, you felt tears prickle, "I know it wasn't fair of me to keep my past a secret, but-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to-" he said softly, his eyes warm. The pain was readable on his features, he hated how your whole demeanour changed.

"It's not that I don't want you to know, it's just that I hate talking about it. Gives me nightmares."

"Then we can just drop it" Bucky murmured, gathering you closer.

"I wish you could know without me telling you" you laughed, "You make everything better and easier. I should've told you, I know. It isn't fair to you. We've been together for almost two years but as far as you're concerned I didn't exist until I joined the avengers. I don't even know how much they know. We never talked about it"

"Love, listen to me. I'm here whenever you want to talk about it. You didn't do anything wrong. There are a lot of things about me that you don't know either. We're not those people anymore. No one can blame us for trying to escape out past"

"Yeah, you're right" you sighed.

Gathering your power, you pushed yourself up and settled beside him, with your legs crossed. You grabbed his hand pulling it into your lap, and intertwined your fingers with his as you spoke.

"Forget the official story, there's no truth to it anyway"

"I really didn't believe your mum was a criminal and that you were in a mental asylum" he joked.

"Good-" you smiled, his words lifting the atmosphere a bit. "Truth is, I don't know anything about my parents. But I have my assumptions. I grew up in that soviet facility so I never met them. I was told it was owned by a group of socialite scientists who wanted our help"

"Our? Who's we?"

"There were 7 of us"

"Did they have the same power as you?"

"Approximately. When we were younger, we used to comply and do everything we were told but as we grew up, things started to change. We weren't happy. Who could be? Considering we were being held in cells and studied like lab rats. We started to act differently and some might even say we tried to rebel, but that didn't work obviously, and that's when the restrictions began. For the last 3 years I spent there, there hadn't been a day where the temperature passed 0°C." 

Your skin crawled as you recaled the endless nights you spent shivering your way to sleep. Everything around you was ice cold. But it wasn't for the sole purpose of torturing you. It was your only weakness. As the temperature dropped, so did the movement of the atoms that made up your body - eliminating your powers to the point where you were barely alive. 

"One day, as spring came, we wanted to break out. We made a plan, and figured that as soon as we were out, we'd be fine. We were wrong. We were off about the weather and they got us before we even exited the perimeter. That's when the avengers heard about us."

By now, Bucky's eyes were wide with genuine curiosity, his mouth agape as he took in the information you provided. With every word you spoke his grip tightened around your fingers and his eyebrows gathered even further. There was discomfort and anger in his features, but he didn't interrupt you once.

"After that, the restrictions got tougher. We realised there was no way out. A lot of things came together in that small time frame. I realised what that place actually was days after we tried to escape. My friends - or that's what I thought they were, figured out another plan. Why fight when you can just eliminate the premise?"

Bucky moved his lips but no words came out. He cleaned his throat and sat up a bit, "What- what do you mean?"

"They tried to kill me" you said, plastering a sympathetic smile on your lips, hoping it would make it easier for him to hear.

"What the fuck. Why?"

"I think my dad used to be part of that team. And I think he made me the way I am. Now I don't know why he wasn't around anymore, but that team wasn't trying to get us to do anything. They were trying to make more of me. So if I was dead-"

"There would be no reason to keep the other kids…" Bucky finished the sentence for you.

You nodded.

"And what happened?"

You bowed your head trying to find a way to put your words together. Bucky didn't rush you, just reassuringly rubbed his thumb across your knuckles, waiting. When a tear from your cheek slipped and landed on the back of his hand, you looked up and took a deep breath. "I killed them. All of them."

He didn't say anything. Didn’t move a muscle, as he waited for you to continue. 

"I didn't even want to do that, Buck" you sobbed, breaking down. "I killed over 20 people because I was afraid. I didn't even move. I was in the corner of my room the whole time, but everyone who approached me was fried to death. I don't even know how I did that. I was just scared"

"Oh, baby" Bucky cooed, pushing himself up to wrap his arms around you. You fell against his chest, crumbling in his embrace. "I hope you know that was not your fault, ok?" he asked, rubbing your back. "You were just a kid, alone and afraid. It breaks my fucking heart, those bastards. Please don't feel sorry for them"

"I feel sorry for the other kids"

"They tried to kill you, Y/n" Bucky countered, "If you hadn't killed them, I would've gone after them. All of them"

"They were desperate..."

"So were you!"

"I can't help but feel like a monster sometimes, you know? Like I'm reckless and out of control. There are times when I'm all happy and excited about what tomorrow would bring, and then i remember what I did, and I have a hard time fighting away the thoughts that try to tell me I don't deserve that"

"What you deserve is the fucking world ok?" Bucky said, tilting your chin so you could see just how serious he was. "This past couple of years, you saved hundreds of lives and I know for a fact you did it out of the pure kindness of your heart, not because you wanted to make up for anything in the past. You're a fucking angel. You're the embodiment of good, you hear me? I know you. You'll never understand how much respect I have for you, and how in awe I am with the kind of person you are. Please, don't ever think less of yourself. Ever, ok?"

Tears rolled down your cheeks as his words proved to be much more than you were able to hear at that moment. "Thanks, Buck. That's sweet of you to say-"

"It's not sweet of me to say, it's the fucking truth" he scoffed, but he somehow managed to make it sound loving. "You didn't even fucking try, but just being around you made me feel like a person again. You're amazing, Y/n. We're all lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you."

"You're gonna make me cry" you sniffled, curling yourself into a ball against his chest, "I know you were in a dark place when we met. I'm glad I managed to help you through it"

"You pulled me through it" he sighed, tightening his hold around you. "I went from wanting to die, to thinking that I didn't even deserve the easy way out. Look at me now."

"Buck, stop"

"I love you so fucking much" Bucky laughed. 

His whole frame shook as he pulled you back down, safely holding you between his arms, "You're amazing" he added, kissing the top of your head, "Perfect"

"I said, stop" you chuckled, slapping his side, "I get it, you like me, can we-"

"I adore you" Bucky cut you off after grabbing the sides of your face between his palms. "And thanks for trusting me. I know it wasn't easy for you to talk about your past, so thank you. I'm always here for you. If there's anything ever, I got you, ok? Forever"

"I got you too" you added, kissing his cheek and then moving along his jawline, "No matter what happens, you'll always have me on your side. I'm all yours, Bucky"

"Yeah, you are, doll. All mine"

After that talk, how you managed to fall into a deep sleep will always remain a mystery. Nightmares didn't make their way into your mind, and you settled for a dreamless slumber, actually fully content for the first time in a long while.

But not everybody processed grief the same way. And if Bucky mentioned earlier that he was lucky to have you, as you were pulled out of your sleep, you realised that he wasn't as lucky as you were when it came to the mysteries that creep up on you when you least expect them.

-

"Wake up sunshine"

The sound reached your ears, but it wasn't Bucky's voice, so you just groaned in response and rolled over to the other side, completely pressing your face into the pillow.

"Buttercup, it's time to wake up"

The voice seemed uneasy, as if the person speaking was actually terrified. You opened your eyes wearily, and were met with the usual, complete darkness of your room. 

"Come on, Y/n" they spoke again. You turned to see one of Tony's maintenance robots hovering above your body, one small screen lit up on its front. Blinking a few times to rid yourself of the sleep still lingering in your eyes, you managed to make out the faces of Tony and Steve, both staring at you.

"What's going on?" you mumbled.

"You've got incoming," Tony announced, and then shook his head at whatever someone next to him had said. The microphone wasn't performant enough for you to hear what the other person said, but it was not like you cared.

"Incoming what?" you questioned, still confused out of your mind.

He turned his attention back to you, "The asshole"

You frowned and Steve scoffed, "Y/n, it's Bucky. He's not well"

"Wh-" you mumbled, your head snapping to the side, only then realising his side of the bed was empty. You shuffled your arm around the sheets, still warm. "What- what happened?"

"He's gone rogue, Y/n" Steve announced, genuine worry and guilt audible in his voice, "You need to make sure he doesn't leave. You need to stop him"

Tony's workstation. You needed to get the shackles off your arms if you wanted to stand a chance, "Tony? How do I take these off?" you asked, pointing to your cuffs.

"Already taken care off" he nodded, "Get to my desk, it's unlocked. All you need to do is actually get there. If you can"

"If I can-?" you began asking, but a loud explosion sound cut you off, causing the bed to shake as a wind blew through your room. "What the fuck!?"

"He may have found the grenade launchers" Tony smiled bitterly.

"Y/n," Steve called for you, "Please, be careful. And call us. Me and Nat will take the jet but I don't know-"

"Don't worry" you shook your head, jumping off the bed and rushing to your closet. You chose the first clothes you saw laying before your eyes and put them on, ready to go look for Bucky. "I got this, I promise"

"Oh, and Y/n?" Tony said, making you turn to him at the last minute, "Try not to fry my tower"

You nodded and refrained from making any promises you didn't know you could keep. 

As soon as you walked out the door, the sound of automatic rifles going off became deafening. Stepping over piles of broken glass, you made your way to the emergency staircase, heading to Tony's lab. You did so with maximal caution, knowing that if you were spotted, there would be no going back.

Descending the last remaining flight of stairs until his work station, a rush of adrenaline surged through you, knowing just how close you were. Silently rounding the corner, your eyes landed on Bucky's frame, easily holding one of the remaining SHIELD agents up by the neck.

He turned to look at you, eyes cold and empty. Not even rage. There was nothing there. No expression, no empathy, no feeling. It was as if he was dead. This wasn't him. 

"Buck-" you panted, raising your hands up in the air, signaling surrender. You eyed Tony's desk, determined to stall him until you managed to free yourself of the cuffs.

You took a cautious step to the side, hands still up in the air. Bucky watched you as the man struggled against his hold, legs spasming uncontrollably as he kicked and squirmed, even though it was so clearly in vain.

"Don’t mind me-" you smiled, sweat flooding your pores as you slowly approached your destination. "I'll just-"

"You'll just what-?" Bucky groaned, flinging his victim with impeccable ease. The agent's body flew across the room, crushing into the only device that had the power to help you get through this. As the work station crumpled under his weight, so did your hopes of getting out of this. 

"Bucky, hey-" you mumbled, afraid of pissing him off, "I-"

"Who the hell is Bucky?" he frowned, starting to march towards you. Your blood ran cold, knowing you didn't have what it took to keep up with him. You were never able to dodge anyone's blows, let alone his. When he reached you, his hand instantly reached around your neck, lifting you off the floor, "SHIELD?" he asked after taking a look at your attire. Although not carrying the emblem, it was probably the only explanation that made sense to him.

"Well, um-" you huffed, holding onto his wrist in hopes of not running out air, "No, not SHIELD"

"Then who are you?" he growled, tightening his hold on your windpipe.

"Fuck-" you gasped, kicking your legs, even through he didn't even flinch when you hit him. "You're not gonna believe this but, um-"

"Try me"

You looked into his eyes, hoping it would serve as some kind of a memento, that maybe he'd remember you. "You know me, Buck. It's Y/n, I'm- your girlfriend?"

Even saying it made you feel weird. This killing machine, apparently hell bent on wrecking havoc, was not the man you loved, and you cringed just imagining his reaction to hearing your words.

And it did turn out to be worse than expected, as he spun around, doing a complete 180° with your body before slamming you down on the floor. The wood cracked under your bones, knocking the wind out of you. The pain of the impact was excruciating, propagating along your body in waves of some physical agony you had never felt before. The sound of your bones cracking made you sick to your stomach. Your ears caught the sound of your arteries being torn as your organs collapsed.

And if you felt every inch of your body being shattered and destroyed, it was God's way of making you pay for your parent's mistakes, as when your wounds healed mere seconds later, the pain did not go away. Your nerve receptors still registered damage to the tissues, and no matter whether you were actually as good as new, your brain couldn't process that.

What consumed you the most was the fact that as you struggled to stand up, the pain of broken limbs lingered on. But you fought through it, gathered yourself and stood up, facing him again.

You winced with every muscle contraction, but eventually your eyes met his. He showed curiosity, along with something else. Something else which you wished wasn't determination to finish you.

"Can we-" you whimpered, extending a hand, "Can we talk?"

"Talk!?" Bucky raged, grabbing your wrist and twisting your arm to the point where he spun you around, your back pressing against his chest. "Not here to talk" he growled into your ear.

The hairs on your body stood as you heard his voice. Even though it was technically the same voice you loved more than anything in the world, it made you now shiver with a fear you've never experienced before. 

You didn't get a chance to sink too deep in your thoughts before Bucky raised your arm, dislocating your shoulder and busting your humerus into pieces. The pain cut your legs at the knees and you screamed in agony, falling to the floor at his feet.

"Stand up" he commanded, slamming his foot into your side. The momentum made your body roll away, until you settled back on the ground, face deep in the rubble. Your muscles pulled you to your feet with ease, but the pain coursing through you was immense, nowhere near close to what you thought bearable. You felt the skin being ripped from your body and when you looked down, your clothes were torn, soaked in blood, but your skin was intact. It was what you needed to keep going - to get inside your head the fact that you were fine, because at this point, the pain was one bruise away from making you faint.

"Bucky, please-" you cried.

"Stop calling me Bucky!" he yelled, starting to approach you again.

With every step he took, you slowly backed away. "Please, listen to me, just a second, please!"

He shook his head no, a demented smile on his lips as he closed in on you.

"Bucky-"

As a reply to your question, his fist flew up, slamming into your jaw, hard enough to throw you to the ground, "Why do you keep calling me-"

"What else do you want me to call you, huh?" you yelled at him, vision blurred under too many layers of tears. "Tell me, and I'll do it if it'll get you to listen to me."

"I don't want you to call me anything-" he cocked his head to the side, unstrapping a handgun from his thigh. He loaded it as you barely managed to crawl away, "You can take the pain. I respect that. Let's see how well you do with these lead bullets"

You saw them in slow motion, barely managing to duck your head behind the remains of what once was a heavy wooden bookshelf. The bullets missed your chest and face, but you saw them, felt them penetrate your skin, ripping through your muscles. 

The sound of your tissues being pulled to shreds made you feel sick to your stomach. As the bullets left your body, your wounds closed back up, leaving you a crying mess on the floor. Your throat constricted due to the wave of shock that hit your body, and your lungs started hyperventilating. Lightheaded and gasping for air, you struggled to crawl away from him, tears marching down your face and ending up on the floor, nothing but diluting the droplets of blood that had fallen from your body mere minutes before. Your heart was in overdrive and your vision blurred as every fiber of your being threatened to let you down. "Please-" you screamed, your voice breaking as you raised your hand for him, "Let's talk, please. That's all I want. Give me a minute"

But he didn't. He didn't even consider it. Instead, the force that controlled the body of the only man that ever managed to make you feel safe, tortured, destroyed and consumed your body for what felt like the better part of an eternity.

You had been thrown through walls, shattered windows, had glass shards lodged into your body from all angles. He unloaded cannon after cannon on you, used up all the ammo he had on him, only growing more and more annoyed when you refused to give up.

There was no way to know how much time had passed. Now you were standing by the window, inches away from the spot where two nights ago, you and Bucky clicked your glasses, smiling at how far you both had come. He laughed, saying he wouldn't have made it without you. And then he kissed you, confessing that the thought that maybe you couldn't have made it without him either, was what kept him going. 

And then there you were. 48 hours later, again, just the two of you. But now there weren't any champagne glasses between you, just his metal arm, wrapped around your neck, this time, as he said, for the last time.

"I don't get it-" he scowled, teeth gritted and frustration in his voice, "Why don't you fight me?"

"I can't fight you" you whimpered as your tears poured down against his cold hand, "And even if I could, I wouldn't."

"WHY?" Bucky screamed, and for a second, you thought you saw a crack there, a glister of emotion hidden deep in his otherwise beautiful eyes.

"Because I love you" you cried.

But there was none. He rolled his eyes and pushed you back, your body slamming into the window. You should've thought faster, been more witty and considerate, but terror washed over you and in the heat of the moment, you grabbed onto him for dear life, pulling him down with you, plummeting to the ground from what looked like the 70th floor of the Stark Tower. 

If until now you had been afraid of what you'd have to endure, it was now that you met true terror. You'd survive the fall, but he wouldn't. 

Even in the air, approaching the ground at a dangerous speed, he kept fighting you. Even in this state, you admired his determination - he had a job and wanted to get it done - even if that job was killing you. A man of his word.

By now, the pain was unnoticeable. If you wanted to keep him alive you had to act fast. Clinging to his body despite his vicious protests and ruthless blows, you used your momentum to turn the two of you around. And you did so at the last second, as before you knew it, your bodies crashed into the boulevard below, sinking down into the asphalt as it crumpled under your weight. 

The impact cut your breath away and there was a gnawing feeling all over your body, as if you had blades under your skin, pulling your body apart fiber by fiber. But you snapped out of it.

"Bucky!" you yelled, slapping his cheek.

He had fallen completely on top of you, his head pressed against your chest. He didn't move and the continuous buzz in your ears made it physically impossible for you to tell whether he was breathing for not.

"Bucky, please-" you cried, trying to move him so you could see his face. 

Nothing.

"No, no, no!!" you screamed, "You can't die, baby, please! Not like this, love. Please come back to me, Buck, I'm begging you!!"

You remained there and wailed, with him glued to your chest. Your arms had wrapped around his motionless frame, keeping him as close as you could. Nothing could have gotten you to stop. Tens of people gathered around the crater your fall created around your bodies, police showed up, cameras were pointed at your faces, but you didn't care. If he died, so would you. 

"You're all I have, baby-" you muttered, voice hoarse and dry from all the wailing and crying, "Please, you can't leave me. This can't be the end of us. Please, I don't know what to do, Bucky, please!"

You were soaked. In blood, and you didn't even know whether it was his or yours. God, how you hoped it all belonged to you, how the pool of blood you laid in was all yours. Tears soaked your face, pouring down your temples as your whole frame shook with your sobs, that was the true agony. You'd rather spend the rest of your days fighting for your life if it meant he got to see the sun again. You wished he'd hate you, rather than not feel anything at all ever again.

"Please-" you said again but this time your voice didn't even reach your own ears, you didn't hold that power anymore, "Please, you need to come back! You deserve so much better than this. You're the best man I have even known, you can't die like this, not today, Bucky. Not today!"

By now, the people around you had scattered. They knew your identities and for all the wrong reasons, feared you both. You were grateful for that now, you were alone with him again, as the sun began to set and a chilly New York night began to settle. 

Still, you didn't move. You still had faith. Or you were just stubborn. There was no way you'd pull away until someone either pried him off of you against your will, or someone that you trusted showed up promising they'd help.

None of them came, and you remained there, cradling his frame to your chest begging whatever God was listening, to bring him back. You didn't know if one of them heard you, or if it was just blind luck or fate, but you only realised his metal arm was lodged under your body when he moved it.

"Buck!" you cried, cupping his cheeks in your bloodied palms as literal life cursed through your veins. "Oh god, you're ok, you're alive!! You came back to me!"

You managed to hug him close one more time, before he pushed himself off of you. In the process of standing up, his eyes met yours for the briefest second. Again, nothing.

He gathered himself to his feet, wordlessly bending down to grab your hair. He forced you up and you instantly obliged, following him back into the building.

Once inside, he knocked you through a glass door, your body once again absorbing his fury. The pain had dissipated into a dull ache, and this time, you stood up faster. "I can do this all day" you sighed, the lie slipping past your lips with such ease, as if the energy inside your core wasn't running dangerously low.

"What did you just say?" he questioned.

He seemed taken aback, "I said that I can do this all day"

"Who are you?" Bucky yelled, marching towards you, determined to get answers out of you through nothing else but brute force. He slammed you back onto the floor, only to straddle your thighs and pick you up by the collar of your shit. "Why won't you just fucking die!?"

Circling your fingers around his wrists, you searched for his eyes, "Wanna know what keeps me alive?"

"Are you stupid enough to tell me?"

"I might be" you shook your head, "but I'll still tell you"

"Why?"

"Because I know you won't kill me" you cried, "I know you know me. I know you're in there somewhere. The man I love. I know you don't have it in you to kill me"

"Try me" he laughed, drunk with the power you were so willing to give him.

"These-" you panted, raising your arms in the air to show him your cuffs, "These are what's been keeping me alive but I know you won't-"

But you never finished the sentence. He didn't even think twice before ripping them off your arms and throwing them onto the floor, along with all the other mess you two had made.

You never thought he'd actually spare you. So it wasn't a surprise when the first thing he did after freeing you, was reach for his knife with the sole purpose of driving it through your chest.

But you were faster. You framed his face into your palms, releasing the energy from your body and allowing it to flow through his. It felt weird, wrong and chaotic, and the power surge wiggled itself out of your control, until a blast between your bodies sent you both flying back across the room, falling down onto the floor.

And this time none of you stood up.

-

"I leave them alone for what, a day?" Tony sighed, walking out of his Iron Man suit. 

"Holy shit!" Steve cried out, his knees betraying him as he tried to rush to you.

"No, wait!" Nat stopped him, "You can't wake them up until we get them somewhere safe. We need to make new cuffs for Y/n, and find a way to keep Bucky contained in case, you know… he's still not Bucky"

Steve was fuming with anger, nostrils flaring, "These are my friends you're talking about!" he exclaimed, pointing to your bodies on the floor, "Your friends too, Nat. You see them like this and the first thing you think about is restraining them!?"

"We need to make sure we're all safe" she sighed with sympathy, grabbing his hand for a comforting rub.

"You make sure you're safe-" Steve scoffed, "I'll make sure they're alive"

"Hey-" Nat stopped him, "If you touch her and startle her in any way, you die!"

Her words hurt him but he knew you never would. Steve felt his heart shutter just imaging what you must have gone through. He was ablaze with pure determination to prove Nat wrong, and to do right by you and Buck. "I carried her in my arms while she was passed out when we rescued her from that facility-" he fummed, pointing at you, "She never knew a man that didn't try to hurt her before. And when she woke up, she was afraid. Scared for her life. She cried in my arms and begged me to not let them take her again! She was never anywhere close to hurting me! She's good. So good. There's only good inside of her, I trust her to not hurt me more than I trust myself, ok? If I'm wrong, so be it. I die. I don't care. She deserves someone to look after her. If I had to chose, saving her would be the way I'd want to go"

His rant left Nat speechless. She just gave him a simple nod and stepped back. 

Carefully, he picked you up and carried you upstairs, as Tony put his suit back on and carried Bucky.

-

Never in your life had you woken up this fast. Your eyes snapped open and you sprung to your feet. 3 pairs of anxious eyes watched you, all of them ready to jump into action in case the situation called for an intervention.

"What-" you gawked, scanning the room, "Where is Bucky? Is he- is-"

"He's fine, Y/n" Steve assured you. He stood up and slowly approached you, arms outstretched. Your first instinct was to go for it, but when you reached him, you placed both your hands in his, and looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Are you sure?" you whimpered, "Can I see him?"

Sympathy took over his features, but Tony jumped in, "Absolutely not"

"What-" you turned to him, "Why? Did I-?"

"You didn't do anything wrong" Steve hummed, engulfing you in a hug even though you remained stiff in your spot. He rubbed your back, eager to soothe your worried mind, but you were too out of it.

“Can I just go?” you whispered, pulling back just enough so that he could see how serious you were, “I need to see him, please”

“Are you mad at him?” Nat asked with caution and your face fell.

“No!” you gasped, stepping away from Steve’s embrace, “No, not even one bit. I know that was not him, I know it’s not his fault. But when Bucky wakes up-”

“If he wakes up-” Tony sneered, roaming around the room. He nursed a glass of whiskey, as a mixture of disgust and exhaustion was readable on his features. 

“When he wakes up!” you spoke through gritted teeth. Determination coated your words and the hairs on your body stood as you refused to even think of the alternative. “He will wake up. And I have to be there”

“What if the Winter Soldier wakes up?” Nat asked.

“That didn’t stop me last time”

“Oh, no!” Tony butted in, stepping in between you and Nat, arms outstretched, “You know I’m not one to cry after money, but you and your pal left me with $37 million worth of damage. You two are one broken cup away from getting thrown into the streets”

The sum he mentioned made the skin on your back crawl. You didn’t even have $37 dollars to your name, but it made sense. Your body alone crashed through three TV’s, one gamma ray projector and if you thought about it, you remembered Bucky pulling apart one of the Iron Legion robots, and only the thought made you flinch. 

“So-” Tony said, “You two? Never in the same room again!”

“Take these off then” you suggested, pointing at the cuff on your wrists.

“Ha” Tony exclaimed, “A big chunk of that money comes from you frying all my electronics up until the 12th floor. Absolutely not”

“Tony, I’m serious” you whined, “He will hate himself. I need to be there! I need to make sure he doesn’t take all the blame on his shoulders”

He frowned, and sighed. He wasn’t an unreasonable man, and you hoped that core deep inside his chest really made up for a heart. And… it did. None of them were happy about it, but they finally accepted. Nat and Tony would have never probably given up if it wasn’t for Steve - right now, like so many times before, he really did seem like your guardian angel.

They ended up monitoring the room, and Tony waited for your signal, one hand on his cigarette, the other on the Iron Man suit. He was all talk - if anything was to go down and you would actually be in danger again, he wouldn’t even think twice before tearing his towers into pieces if it meant he could get you out alive.

And so you left, thanked them in the form of a simple nod, and headed down the dark hallways.

Oh, how you hated this.

What consumed you now had nothing to do with the pain you had endured in the past 24 hours. Its source was not physical, yet your whole body ached. You felt the weight of the world on your shoulders - and in some way, it was - Bucky was your whole world, and the fear of losing him breathed down your neck.

It had been about 20 minutes since you stopped in front of the door that led to the room he'd been confined in. When FRIDAY announced that Bucky woke up, you rushed over, only for a hazardous sense of anguish to stop you dead in your tracks. Judging by the way he sat in the corner of the room, his fingers aimlessly tracing every indentation in the handcuffs Tony had restrained him with, you had no problem telling which one of him woke up. He broke your heart. His room was equipped with 5 different cameras and 2 microphones. Completely unaware of them, he sat inches away from one, and your heart shattered, sinking 3 stories below when you heard him whimper.

It was soft and quiet. His whole frame shook as he wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. He was hunched down, brown hair covering his perfect face, but still, his sadness brought you to tears. 

You heard him again. He sniffled as he laid back against the wall. His eyes were bloodshot, lips almost white and dry as his chest raced up and down. His muscles clenched and his feet bounced against the metal floor, it was a sight you never wished you see ever again. 

Softly, you raised a hand, and thought twice before finally knocking.

"Go away," Bucky called, voice all hoarse and dry as it broke halfway through.

You were able to see him on the small screen next to the door, but he had no idea who came to visit.

Out of instinct, you knocked again before typing in the password and ever so slowly walking inside.

Instantly, he looked up. He was surrounded by an air of darkness and despair, ever so obviously tormented to the peak of his capability.

He stared at you for a few seconds as his eyes watered, and then he gathered his lips into a straight line, shaking his head. "Please, go"

"Bucky, I-"

"Please" he cried, head falling forward as he toyed with the metal edges of his prosthetic arm. He shook his head, "Please, don't do this. Just, go"

You took a deep breath, only then entering the room far enough to actually be able to close the door behind you. Slowly turning back to him, your palms sweated as you had no idea what to say to him. 

"Can you talk to me, Buck? Please?"

He chuckled, "About what?" 

"About whatever it is you think you did wrong, I-"

As he heard your words, his hands instantly flew up to cover his face. He was, however, stopped, as the cuffs on his left wrist kept him from moving too much. While a new row of tears flooded his cheeks, his eyes met yours, "Look at me.. I need to be restrained while you're alone with me"

"Those cuffs would literally do nothing to stop you from escaping, and you know it"

"Maybe it's just a sense of reassurance"

"To who?" you scoffed.

"To them" Bucky responded, nodding his head towards one of the cameras. "I'm a monster" he added, wiggling his cuff restrained hand, "I'm a danger to everyone"

"Oh for fucks sake" you rolled your eyes, marching up to him. With absolutely no remorse, you grabbed his hand and harshly pulled apart the metal that had him restrained to the bed. Before he got a chance to say anything, you bent down, unclipped the microphone from the foot of the bed, threw it on the floor, and stepped on it, until it was nothing but a small pile of shattered plastic.

And you kept going, destroying the second microphone along with the 5 cameras on the walls as Bucky watched you with surprise. You finished by going for the door and locking it from the inside. "You think I'm afraid of you?" you asked softly, "For 6 hours you did your best to kill me and failed miserably. Look at me, I'm unscathed"

"Did you hear yourself?" he cringed, shaking his head, "I tried to kill you"

"Ok, I know I said that you did your best-" you said, mentally scolding yourself for the error in communication. "We both know that wasn't you. That wasn't you, Buck. It was Hydra. It was the winter soldier, not you. My Bucky would never-"

"Y/n-" he stopped you, "I know you don't see things the way I do-"

"But I see them the right way"

"Listen-" Bucky sighed, driving his hands through his hair. For the first time that night you actually saw his full face, his cheek and signature scowl, his blue eyes and the tilt of the corner of his mouth - your soul melted when you associated the picture with the words that came out of his mouth. "I can't blame you for being here. I can't. If the roles were reversed, I'd be doing the exact same thing. But, holy fuck-" he sighed, pausing to gather his thoughts. Bucky looked you up and down. His lips quivered and his head fell to the side as a sad smile appeared on his lips. "Remember this morning? How we talked about our hypothetical child?" he laughed and shook his head, "Even if I know we could never have a kid because we're both sterile, it was still the most beautiful thought that ever crossed my mind, Y/n''

"Mine too, Buck-"

"And what did I do?" he dismissed your empathy, "Two hours later I was unloading an AK-47 into your stomach, like the brainwashed maniac that I am!"

"Don’t say that!" you exclaimed, "Don't you dare think about things like this!"

"Why wouldn't I?" he threw his hands up in the air, "What does it matter whose fault it is? I get to live with the consequences."

"But-" you breathed out, "We can work through this. You did it before. You can't let something that hydra did dictate your life, Bucky. You deserve so much better. You deserve to be happy!"

"I tried to kill you!" he screamed, for the first time losing his calm and standing up to be at the same level as you.

"That was not you!"

"So what?" he huffed, "I was there, Y/n! I will never, NEVER get the feeling of crushing your bones out of my head! I felt your neck snap! I choked you with my arms! That is not something I can live with! I can't live a life by your side if every time I look at you I'm reminded of those horrible things I did to you!"

"Buck-" you cried, looking at him from behind too many layers of unshed tears, "Please, don't say that"

"I'm sorry" he responded in the same fashion, his pain coating every word he said. "When I close my eyes I see you laying in a puddle of blood. I can't stop hearing your screams of agony. Agony that no matter how you put it, was caused by my hands. That's not something we can live with, Y/n. You were not made for this. You really do fucking deserve someone that won't wake up one day and try to murder you in cold blood"

"And what do you deserve, Buck?" you quietly asked, searching for his eyes, "To live your life alone? Forever? If you had been with anyone else, this would have turned out so much worse. That cute barista three blocks down that always scribbles a heart on your coffee cup? She's cute, yeah. You deserve to be loved by someone, but if that someone was her, you wouldn't be drowning in guilt right now, Bucky, you'd be mourning her. Yes, you got troubles. Yes, you've got a past more fucked up than anyone else I have ever heard about. That's the kind of shit you can't change. But whatever you do from now on, is in your fucking hands and yours alone. Don't try to tell me you're not worthy of having someone, because that's the fattest load of crap I've ever heard. You're a good man! With a fucked up past! And a dark side that you need to fight! And you have me! I don't care you dropped Tony's piano on my legs, apparently I can take it! I'm here for you no matter what! You don't want to be with me anymore? Fine. But don't you dare push me away, thinking that a ruined future makes up for a ruined past"

"Who's to say I won't try it again?" he asked, "I don't know what triggered the transition. But what if once a week I end up trying to kill you-"

"Apparently you can't!" you laughed bitterly.

"Ok, so I can't" he nodded in approval, "Is that what you want? I should be your rock, your best friend, I should always be there for you. Do you want to have your whole world turned upside down whenever my brain decides to go berserk?"

"See, Buck" you sighed, "Of course I don't want that. I can't fucking stand here and tell you that I do. What kind of credibility would I have then? But you know what I want? You. You and whatever nazi shit that comes along. I want you. To help you. To have you with me. To see you everyday. If every Saturday at 10am you decide you want to kill me, you best believe I'm sacrificing my morning coffee just so we can kung fu around the living room"

He looked at you for a long second, the corners of his lips fighting a hard battle against the hint of a smile that started to show on his features. Eventually he caved and chuckled, shaking his head, "That was a bit funny"

"And fucking true," you cried, going for his hands and bringing them up to your chest. He winced, but you spoke up again, determined to not let his mind torture him.

"I love you, Bucky"

"How do you not hate me?" he choked, shaking his head in disbelief. "Can you seriously look at me and not get even the slightest instinct to run away?"

"Bucky..." you breathed out, cupping his cheek. "How could I run away when I've never seen you in more pain than right now?"

"You're an angel, you know that?" 

"I've been called a lot of things" you giggled, "Angel isn't one of them, but if that's what you want, I'll take it"

"Come here" he whispered, wrapping his arms around your frame. He had you nuzzle against his chest, his hold keeping you tight and secure. His heart beat against your cheek and your eyes watered again. There wasn't one thing in the world you wouldn't do for that heart - to make sure it keeps beating, and that it keeps the man you love alive. And content, above all. All you wanted right now was for him to accept the things that happened. You wanted to take whatever weight he was carrying on his shoulders, and put it upon yourself. "I love you so much, Bucky" you cried against his chest as your hold tightened around him, "I hate to see you torn like this. I don't want anything to ever happen to you. It terrifies me. I love you with all that I am. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You deserve the world, baby"

"So do you" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

You felt his chest shake, a deep rumble echoed from the depths of his lungs. You looked up to see him fight back a sob, his eyes wide open, glossy and red, trained down on you, "I love you too much to do this, Y/n. I'm sorry, I don't think I can"

"No!" you gasped, pressing your face back against his shoulder, "Don't do that. You can't do that. No"

"We won't work, Y/n" Bucky said as he brought you even closer, "I can't look at you anymore. I can't look at you without dying inside. You don't want to live with me like that"

"Yes, I do!" you sobbed. "I'll work with anything you give me, I swear there is nothing more I want. Just you. Just you and me. Bucky, please don't do this"

He held you close for what felt like half a second, but rationally speaking, your legs were getting numb. You just stood there, clinging to his body, taking in his scent and listening to his breathing even out until he pushed you away. Oh, how you didn't want to let go. Ever. But you did, and choked back a sob as soon as you felt the cold air of the room brush against the part of your body that had been pressed to his.

"We should get some sleep, Y/n"

"Are you coming with me?" you whimpered, afraid of the answer he might give you.

Bucky shook his head, "I think I'll just sleep here tonight"

That broke you. The shock and terror cut your breath away. It felt impossible - the feeling of losing him. The amount of pain that surged through you. At that particular moment, you felt like cracking your chest open to grip your heart into your hand and pick apart the broken parts. But not even that felt good enough, you were fairly sure you'd be left with nothing. It felt like a slap across your cheek, like a cloth had been placed over your mouth and your legs cut at the knees. It felt like the end. 

Optimistic by nature, not even you could deny the reason he wanted to sleep alone. It was clear as day.

"If-" you mumbled, tears coating your face at their own free will, voice shaking as you barely managed to articulate the words over the violent sobs that ripped their way out of your throat. "If I promise to not do anything to try and convince you to stay… can you promise me that in case you decide to leave, you'll come and tell me first?"

"Oh, doll" Bucky broke down all over again, throwing himself at you again. He collapsed on top of you, molding his body around yours. "I promise, angel"

You just nodded. That was all you could do. It took another few moments for you to gather yourself and stop wailing, but you did, and then, with nothing else other than a sad smile, you left. 

Your feet carried you to your room, and you were ready to collapse on top of your bed. Eager to cuddle into his pillows. They smelled like that shower gel you got him and you hated it. You wanted his scent. Not even caring how ridiculous it sounded, you padded over to the chair in the corner of your bedroom, the one Bucky uses to discard all his worn clothes. 

You wanted to find a shirt he wore, one that smelled exactly like you knew him, but before you reached the clothes pile, your attention was drawn to the window.

Steve was standing there, facing the busy streets outside, hands in his pocket and his head turned in your direction.

"I didn't see you, sorry" you gasped, as your eyes accommodated to the darkness.

"It's fine" he shook his head, "I just figured you'd turn on the lights, you know, like the normal people. Didn't think I'd scare you"

"Yeah, sorry" you sighed, plopping down on the edge of the bed. "I did even think about turning the lights on"

He didn't say anything, but you saw him nod. He knew your pain. He lost enough in his life, and seeing his best friend sink back into his darkness was surely not easy for him either.

"Is he ok?" Steve eventually asked.

You shook your head, "He's too good of a man to be ok"

"That is Bucky" he laughed, and you couldn't help but do the same. The irony.

Steve's curiosity was palpable in the room. Words could not describe the appreciation you had for him for respecting your boundaries and not pushing you in a moment like this. But he deserved to know.

You opened your mouth to explain to him what happened, but as your mind processed everything all over again, you broke down. "I think he's gonna leave-" you cried.

Steve was quick to gather you in his arms, engulfing you in a bear hug, helping you stand on your own two feet. "What do you mean?" he asked, concern tracing his tone.

"I understand him, I do. And I promised I won't try to get him to stay if he doesn't want to. But- but I should've done more, Steve. I should've shown him somehow how much I love him. But I'm afraid he'll leave, and I don't want to live-"

"Hey, hey, hey" Steve hurried to stop you, petting your head softly before urging you to look up at him. "Bucky loves you more than I ever thought possible, ok? There's no question about it. I'm sorry I'm doing this, but I think he'll postpone it anyway"

"What?"

"The man wants to marry you, ok?" Steve smiled, "He asked Tony if he had any work for him so he could raise money. Can you imagine how that went down? He was red like a tomato, but he didn't think twice. James Barnes used the computer to look for rings for you. The Bucky I know? Never would've done this. You brought to life a part of him that no one else has seen before. He loves you. With all that he is. And trust me when I tell you, he won't stand to be away from you. You're his whole world, Y/n. He's my best friend, trust me when I tell you this is something you'll work through. I'll help, we'll all help. You're not gonna lose him, Y/n. He's so beat up about all of this because he loves you this much. He's all yours. If he decides to leave, I need you to be strong because he will be back. I got him back 70 years later. You just need to trust him. Trust his heart, ok?"

"Oh my god" you cried, "I don't know what to say"

"Don’t say anything" he chuckled, "We've been through so much together. All of us. Even if we try, nothing pulls us apart, ok? How many times has Loki died, hm?"

"God, Steve!" you scoffed somewhat amused and pulled back just to hit him, "Did you seriously compare Bucky to Loki!?"

"It got you to smile, didn't it?" he laughed. "But I'm serious. You've both been through so much worse than this. You'll get through this one too. And in case you ever feel like you won't, I'm here, ok?"

"Ok…"

Funny as it all was, it worked. He calmed you down - to some extent. Gave you hope you didn't know existed. If it wasn't for Steve, you probably would have not been able to fall asleep. And even though dreams didn't visit you, and you never relaxed enough to actually get some rest, you just dozed off. All clothed and curled diagonally on the bed, you cuddled Bucky's pillow to your chest as your eyes slowly fell closed.

When you opened them again, it was still dark out. You had no idea what pulled you awake as you struggled to sit up on the bed, but then you heard Bucky's voice again, from the doorway.

"Y/n?"

“Buck?” you gasped, turning around. Only his silhouette was visible, head hung low and hands deep in his pockets. He was leaning against the doorway, silently awaiting your response.

Right then and there, you felt your world collapse. Steve’s monologue made you actually fucking believe things would be fine, but here he was, keeping his promise. In the buttcrack of night, he kept his word, bidding you a much feared farewell.

“Is-” you sobbed, jumping out of bed and rushing towards him. You almost knocked him off of his feet when you flung yourself at him, but he was quick to reciprocate, caging you between his arms. “Is this it? You’re leaving?”

He didn’t say anything which frankly made everything worse. You broke down even further, clinging to his shirt as if it was the only source of oxygen keeping you alive - it sure felt like it.

“Look at me” Bucky urged you, tilting your chin up, “Please?”

You slowly lifted your head, your eyes meeting his.

“I’m sorry, I will make it up to you” he whispered, a frown settling above his tired eyes, “You’ll see”

“What does that even mean?" you questioned, tired and sick of this ongoing conflict that should not even have been an issue to begin with. "You don't have to make up for anything"

"I know you see things like that" he cooed, rubbing his thumb along your cheekbone. He spoke softly, his breath fanning against your skin, somehow, even in this situation, managing to calm you down. "But you can understand me too, right?"

"I don't want to" you shrugged, "I don't care. Why does it matter if I understand you or not if you're gonna leave anyway?"

"I'm not leaving, doll"

"What!?" you beamed, pulling away from his hold and grabbing his face in your palms, "You're not- but you're-"

His whole frame softened, "I'm not here to say goodbye, Y/n. I'm not going anywhere"

"Oh god" you gasped.

"Come on, come here" Bucky chuckled softly, bringing you back into his hold, "I'm staying here. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. You're the most badass woman I know and I managed to break you"

"I love you, Buck" 

"I love you more, Y/n" he sighed, "I'll make everything right, I promise"

"Oh, fuck" you breathed out relieved, "Just do whatever you want, I don't care. You're here. That's all that matters."

"And we also need to teach you to fight-" he added, "For real. And find a way for you to take those goddamn shackles off in case this happens again"

"Tony won't be too happy about it" you laughed.

"Fuck if I care-" Bucky said strenly, pointing at you, "Next time, you need to be able to stop me. And fast"

"Maybe it won't happen again"

"Maybe not" Bucky nodded, "But if it does, we need to be ready"

"Thank you" you said, "I know I didn't play this right. I know I literally dismissed everything that you must have gone through today. I'm sorry"

"You don't get to be sorry" Bucky stopped you, "Not after-"

"Then you don't get to, either!"

"Meh" he shrugged, "We'll see"

"Bucky!"

"I love you" he laughed, bending down to pick you up. He planted his hands on the back of your thighs, picking you up with ease and walking you over to the bed. You plopped back against the fluffy mattress with a huff, and giggled as he crawled his way on top of you. Instantly, his lips met yours. It was exhilarating, the kind that made your chest ache. You moaned against his lips as love transpired through his touch. It was overwhelming and the first happy tears of the day streamed down your temples as you arched yourself against him.

"I'm so weak for you, fuck" Bucky groaned, his right arm reaching around your back and pressing you against his chest. "You're everything" he added as he kissed his way along your neck, "I'm all yours forever, Y/n. I love you too much"

"I'm here, baby" you moaned, hiding your face into his shoulder, "You're mine, Bucky. All mine."

His lips didn't leave your body as he pushed himself up just enough to be able to reach the buckle of his jeans. The sound made your core ache, and your mouth watered.

There was no patience in his movements. He barely pulled his jeans down to his knees before ridding you of your pajama pants. He lodged himself between your thighs, his mouth instantly back on yours again.

"Come on" you panted, steading your arms against his strong back. Your legs found their way around his frame, ready to pull him closer.

When Bucky guided his hands between your bodies to align the tip of his cock with your opening, you whimpered in anticipation. Agonisingly slow, he trailed his tip along your folds before reaching your clit. With a blissful moan, he reached further up, tapping his cock against your bare cunt a couple of times before returning his attention back to you. 

"I got you, baby" he hummed, pecking your lips. "You ready? Is this ok?"

With eagerness, you nodded and wiggled under his weight, your pussy aching for him. "Yes, yes"

When you felt his cock push past your folds, you moaned out loud, your voice cracking with the pure pleasure that took over your being.

He eased himself in, going all the way until he all but knocked the breath out of you, and he stopped. Bucky reached down to kiss you again, his cock motionless, balls deep inside of you.

He bit down on your lip and you giggled.

"Felt your pussy clench around me, doll" he laughed, "You're good to me"

"You may be all mine, Buck, but I'm all yours too"

"Holy shit" he panted, shaking his head in disbelief. It was as if you weren't real. He'd have pinched himself, but if this was a dream, he really did not want to wake up. So he kept going.

Nibbling at the skin of your neck, he started to pull himself out of you. The slow pace was driving you insane. Your need grew so strong you felt everything. His breath, the way his hair tickled your chin, his strong around around your shoulders, his massive thighs rubbing against yours, every small vein along his cock that drove you closer and closer to the sweetest bliss you had ever known. 

He got you all worked up at an agonisingly slow pace, before his thrusts became more and more aggravated. You moaned with each thrust despite your struggles to keep quiet.

"You know how much I love hearing you, doll" Bucky shook his head as he drove himself back inside of you all the way, "Moan for me"

"Fuck, ok" you gasped, and closed your eyes as you started to fall apart. You gripped the bed sheets into your hands and pulled as he kept fucking you, deep and hard.

"You're so good, baby" he groaned, "So, so good for me"

He sunk his teeth into your shoulder, fervently sucking deep, maroon marks all ice your skin. Gutural grounds betrayed his air of self control as a plethora of curse words escaped his lips. "Taking me so fucking well. I can't keep going like this, you're too fucking tight-"

"Cum, baby" you encouraged, voice low and tender as you spoke against his ear, "Cum for me"

"Don’t have to tell me twice" he chuckled.

His thrusts started to become sloppy and irregular, as his eyes flew closed. You missed the blue of his eyes, but his mouth was slightly agape as he panted his way to an orgasm.

His chest heaved against yours, "How do you feel so fucking good?" Bucky cursed, eyes still closed as he barely managed to mumble his words between the numerous grunts of pleasure that forced their way out of his throat.

You gave him no answer, instead just clung to him tighter, "Fuck, Bucky, I'm close-"

"Come on" he encouraged, hurrying to rub your clit. His fingers found your bud in an instant, working experienced, familiar circles that almost drove you over the edge. "Cum with me, ok?"

You nodded, gathering your lips between your teeth. He kept fucking you, harder and faster until he had turn limp under his weight. You came as his name rolled off your lips, and he followed seconds after, pumping his juices deep inside your pussy. 

You felt his absolute pleasure as he breathed heavily against your shoulder. He kept going until you were both spent, and then fell down beside you. 

"Bucky-" you whined, turning over and curling into his side, the lack of contact making you more needy than ever.

"Yes, darling?" he panted, tapping your chin.

"Nothing. I just love you"

"Love you too, doll" he huffed, spinning you around so you laid on your back.

He effortlessly helped you out of your shirt and plopped down on top of you, his head resting on your bare chest. His warm, right hand cupped your breast as he closed his eyes. He wrapped himself around you, "Hold me" he muttered, "please"

"Always, Bucky" you said, engulfing him in the tightest hold you could muster. Only then did you feel him calm down completely, and there was nothing in the world you could ever ask for.

-

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