#enbynoizkinnie

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Tw gr**ming, s*icide mentions, ab*sive friendships, manipulative behavior

I was gr**med by @jazzthesapphicqueen part 1 (this will be in parts because I am very exhausted and emotionally damaged by all of this and I have been friends with her for a whole year so there's a lot to process)

I used to be enbynoizkinnie and have deleted my blog multiple times and that ties into this, I met Jazz soon after I was gr**med by helios because she was already one of my moots, we first became friends because she asked for the full picture of a ns/fw drawing I did in dms and I gave it to her (she clarified that she was 17 at the time so I thought it was okay to he her friend, which oh yeah btw she like just turned 18 in december btw so funfact ig). We later moved to discord because I wanted to get to know her better and be her friend and already she was very guiltrippy towards me or very self loathing and whenever I had offered help or comfort she never really denied it but never said she wanted it and when she just kept saying how she "didn't deserve it", I am saying this to give an example of what kind of person she is because she'd constantly say that and make situations where I was hurt about her. There are multiple periods in the span I've been friends with her where I have almost k*lled myself because how ab*sive she was towards me (thus why I have deleted my account so many times, I just wanted to be forgotten) and for a time she had brought out the absolute worst in me and for awhile made me as bad as her, I am not a saint with how I was with her but I wasn't anywhere near as bad as her. I will admit her behaviors had heavily influenced mine and for awhile I couldn't stop traumadumping, guiltripping, and being codependent on her. Thing is I have brought myself out of that cycle myself and I've realized how fucking awful she was to me. Now onto the gr**ming, this is out of order but the most recently she has sent me porn and turned conversations s*xual and hinted at/coerced me into drawing p*rn for her. I haven't said my actual age publicly before in this fandom because I knew i would've gotten booed off but I started my account(enbynoizkinnie) at 14, I was 15 when Jazz did all this and now I am 16. So just for reference here, she is 17 almost turning 18 and im still 15

I need to make another post rq because I have more screenshots, these are all the ones I have right now and please be patient with me I still am having to process this and even now there are things I don't want to process. Also she was fully aware of my age and didn't really care.

I'll be reposting this with more images of her being vulgar/predatory at me and being aware of my age. And coercing me for free p*rn art and even sending me p*rn

[koujakubf]

Whos grooming kids? wtf i wanna report their account

permission to post from enbynoizkinnie / ok to rb to spread the word !!

i have no issue calling out friends on their fucked up behaviour, and i don’t condone this shit at all. she isn’t a friend anymore and i now have her blocked out of respect to the victim. what jazz did was fucked up and i’ll quickly elaborate on the matter.

jazzthesapphicqueen (18) has been grooming and emotionally abusing enbynoizkinnie (16) for what i believe is the duration of their friendship. jazz likes to guilt trip and have this sad little pity party which is a manipulation tactic used to keep her victim in a self-doubting and intimidated state. she has inflicted a tremendous amount of trauma onto a minor and i think it’s time for people to become aware of jasmine’s behaviour so we can let this kid heal.

please keep in mind that enbynoizkinnie is only 16 and autistic, and individuals such as themself may fall victim to manipulative abusers because of their vulnerability. abusers such as jazz typically choose vulnerable people as their prey because they will be able to get away with a lot, and she has… until now.

screenshot from one of enbynoizkinnie’s posts:

jazz is perfectly capable of understanding how wrongful her actions were and should’ve known when to fuck off but she didn’t. and that says a lot about herself and the type of person she truly is.

another screenshot:

seriously jazz, if you left because of this then you’re a fucking coward. i don’t want to see you around at all, what you have done to this kid is fucking disgusting and please know that you’ve just lost many friends who trusted you. don’t fucking return.

this post just merely scratches the surface about jasmine grooming a minor, but you can read more on enbynoizkinnie’s blog. please send love their way but also give them space because i can’t imagine what they’re feeling right now. my heart goes out to them.

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Part 2 of my story with jazz/@jazzthesapphicqueen continued, how I left

So even before this whole jazz situation, I was gr**med before by another user on here in the dmmd fandom. 2021 I was friends with him for a couple months, even found out he lived in my area which I was happy about during the time and felt happy to be friends with an adult I felt like I could finally trust a adult to not do anything to me. My home life was and still is, not the best and I don't exactly live with good adults and basically my whole life up til now I have had to fight off adults so being friends with one I felt like I could trust was amazing to me and I basically imprinted onto him. I won't talk further about him but this is all important cause in November I told my therapist about him, she told my parents and we eventually got the cops involved in March (I don't want to talk about why there was a giant delay, between the months of November up til now there was so many events that I haven't recovered from.)

Jazz was aware of everything that had happened to me and we even met because of the situation with him. On my first tumblr acc I made a huge post about him to warn everyone and any other potential minors in the dmmd fandom, I dm'd her asking if she could reblog it but that's what started it. What really sparked it though was me drawing fan art from one of her fics, I deeply deeply regret ever drawing nsfw and posting it publicly at 15 and everyday wish I could go back. When I posted a cropped version of the nsfw art jazz dm'd me asking me for the full pic (by the way when she did this she didn't disclose her age to me at all first :|.. even if she was 17 she didn't tell me first and just asked for it) and I happily obliged because I wanted to be better friends with her.

Back to my other gr**mer, on March first a cop came over to ask me what happened and I disclosed details but there was nothing that could be done because I lacked evidence and couldn't take him to court or ANYTHING because I didn't have proof. In that moment I basically shattered because it felt like everything I worked for and was staying alive for meant nothing cause he got away free. Even now it feels impossible to talk about. I texted jazz about it obviously not doing well and extremely suicidal and just look what she did

She made it completely about herself and made me panic so bad to the point I called a crisis line for her and freaked out even more cause they said they couldn't do anything unless I had her number. And on top of that, remind you I am mute so I had to force myself out of my comfort zone once again for jazz :D.

I managed to get ahold of her by emailing her and she said she was fine but needed to be off the internet and said she'll just give me updates on how she's doing and that she doesn't want to cause me or her family more heartbreak.

From that day on I never heard from her again

So this pretty much concludes my story with jazz or any major events from start to finish on how she gr**med me from start to finish. I do not know or really care if she is dead or alive and I hope everyone now is aware of who she was under the surface and no one ever supports her ever again. She is a absolute monster and even now I am still trying my best to recover. If she does come back I hope it's just to delete her acc

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Dumb question but would everyone be mad if part 2 about my expirence with jazz is slightly delayed because it's not good for my mental health/hgq

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Tw for s*cide mentions kind of but more so getting stitches for an attempt

I don't know exactly if this is important and not yet a part 2, but this is more so how some of my headmates interacted with jazz (there's not many encounters though because almost all of them were like "pls for the love of god get out of there" and I didn't listen and barely let her interact with my system which thank god) especially this one time where one of my headmates (Noiz) scolded her for how she was treating me and I won't show the whole thing but more so important parts

And she actually saw this and ran away (no suprise there) bc she didn't like how he was calling her out and that hurt her feelings.(I know this because she tells me in the message I'm about to show in a sec) and the next day Noiz talked me into standing up for myself and reiterating some points he made that I agreed with and encouraged me to tell her how badly she's hurt me. So i did (scribbled out stuff is more personal than I'd like to share about myself for now)

(This isn't the full message but just the important parts, I'll share the screenshot of her lashing out at me as soon as i was discharged soon I promise)

And her response was basically okay bet let me leave and hint at killing myself lmao

To this day idk why it was so hard for her to apologize and take accountability

After she said this I retracted all my statements, apologized profusely about Noiz getting involved and the fact I was ever even mad at her and begged her to stay and ended up almost k*lling myself instead because if she was d*ad I genuinely didn't want to live anymore because how codependent I was on her 😁����/lh/I'm better now but jesus christyyfjdjshq

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Tw adults being inappropriate with kids, gr**ming, jazz in general

Okay firstly hi goodmorning secondly, oh my god im just remembering when in discord I put my about me bio thingy as one of those "alpha💪💪🔥🔥💯💯" jokes because they're peak humor to me and remembering jazz compared me to an OMEGA from the fucking omegaverse and i expressed my distaste (even if it was playfully) and how i did NOT want to be called that because 1 how uncomfortable it makes me in general 2 this could be just me but as someone who's trans I didn't like the idea of being referred to as a omega because of what being an omega implies 3 what the fuck

AND SHE KEPT DOUBLING DOWN ON HER JOKE AND LIKE???? EVEN THEN I WAS LIKE I AM 15 WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME AN OMEGA (but i didn't say that bc I was a pussy) and got upset lmaoaoao

I'll provide screenshots later because oh my god what the fuck

[transmasc-slykinnie]

I almost forgot this happened until I was looking back on old convos in a friendgroup of mine (I told them how uncomfortable I felt about jazz sending me a bdsm test and made my trust with her waver, tldr I have a lot of issues with adults/hj) and remembered that jazz sent me a fuxking bdsm test because she thought it was "funny"😀 and when I expressed my anger and discomfort she brushed it off and idk if this is guiltripping (I have slightly been noticing the signs more but because of her it still is hard to tell when is and isn't) but she just started doing her whole "we don't have to be friends if you don't want to🥺🥺" which you'll probably see more of in future posts

(Here I'm expressing how me not trusting her and being on edge with her is a trauma response i have with adults and it doesn't show here but she always just ignored that)

But yeah here's another thing for filler (that's not the right word but the closest I could think of) until I post my second long post

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Cw me venting but nothing too serious ig??

Everytime I remember I showed jazz my voice (unwillingly) I want to throw up lmaoaosjakks

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Oh idk if I mentioned this but if you see in my texts between me and jazz, the name Brutus popping up, hi that's me that's my name and forgot to tell everyone that woops

[transmasc-slykinnie]

I forgot to mention this but it's okay to reblog any of my posts about jazz, I forgot to include that in the tags but I'm 100% fine with it, go ham/g

[transmasc-slykinnie]

This isn't part 2 just yet but I didn't know where to put this and wanted to include it

It was kind of mentioned in part 1 but she literally asked me to draw p*rn for her on her 18th birthday and didn't even recognize that as a bad thing until I pointed it out, a lot of the things she's done she would never think about the consequences after

The text of her asking me to draw or hinting that she did want me to draw (this was I part 1)

And me giving a preview to her and her acknowledging her age and saying she "keeps forgetting" (even then I was like ????what????)

I really hate looking back on this and seeing how normalized and justified she made it seem for her to be interacting like that with me when she 1 was way older and 2 definitely should've known better to not talk to me like this let alone make it seem okay. Her excuse for this evrrytime was "well we were both minors" or something of that sort as if she didn't turn 18 in like a couple months

Also from now on I don't think I'm gonna be adding dmmd to the these posts because 1 they're unrelated and 2 I don't want it to pop into someone's face when they didn't really ask to see that and that was a dick move on my end

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Wait nvm I couldn't include the original video where it had my real age because for some reason it wouldn't let me so here's the post related to my thread, for context Jazz was telling me I probably shouldn't add my age which shows she is fully aware of my age yet still sent me porn and coerced me for porn art when she was almost 18 and turned 18 literally next month, but here is the original unedited version of this video thing I did if anyone remembers

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Part 2 of my expirence with jazz

How I left and why

I'm sorry how delayed this has been my mental health has been in the gutter and my system was a mess for awhile and I'm not doing that great still but it's bearable now

So ever since November me and jazz were on and off with her leaving me when I had covid and on new years with me begging for her to stay cause it felt like I genuinely didn't have anything else in my life and needed her. All this was on tumblr and I don't have those screenshots anymore so fhakdgw

Next time we encountered wasn't really by my plan but I blame myself, because I have been holding back my system and trying to it caused everyone to breakdown and finally snap and one of my new alters that had formed snapped at her on January 30th/my birthday and called her out how she had groomed me (this alter will be unamed 1 because I still don't know much about them and we keep our distance and 2 they wish to not be a part of this) and this again was done on tumblr but I don't have access to those screenshots or account, jazz kept apologizing over and over and that day my headmate/alter called her out she apologized over and over and asked something like "do you need me to talk to Brutus again?" I don't remember exactly and I apologize, a lot of this stuff is hazy and I tried to repress /g

I don't feel too comfortable sharing what went down in my headspace and my system at least right now so I'll be skipping those parts, sorry

A couple days later I checked my tumblr to see my dms blown up with jazz apologizing and talking about how she'll kill herself and at the time I was still attached to her so reading back on what happened I was just horrified what went down and I apologized for my system rightfully lashing out at her and everything just so she wouldn't feel bad or couldn't blame herself or something, I just wanted her to be happy cause again at the time I loved her/p

She let me stay for a couple days because I wanted to make sure she was alright and I was under the impression she was going to want to be friends again because she let me nuture her back to health and didn't block me etc but when I kept talking about it and saying how I changed (which I did because I had to learn the hard way how manipulative and abusive jazz is) and she said no which lead me to be confused because if she didn't want to be my friend why again was she using me for her and why was I once again there at her time of need but she couldn't do this one thing for me, at the time I thought well maybe if we're friends I'll get over her gr**ming me and I can still be her friend, I was really just going through it and the way jazz had changed my mindset was unhealthy leading me to not care about myself etc etc. There was a lot of back in fourth of "I changed I can help you lets be friends again" and "no we can't" and even some s*icide attempts and manipulation on my part which I regret sincerely and everyday I strive to never be like that or do that again. When finally she agreed to be friends again until I got better in February or something like that. I'll make a follow up to this because how long this post already is I'm sorry if anything was dragged out or too short I kinda just wrote everything down as fast as I could so I didn't have to think about it and thought this part would be the easiest to get out since I don't have to really dig for screenshots but just give context and story behind the scenes

[transmasc-slykinnie]

I'm just remembering when I asked jazz for comfort because I was sad about something (I don't remember what) and she said "OK here's your comfort" and then literally started talking about herself and the good things that happened in her day and even then I was like

She always would say she isn't good at comfort but never did I imagine she'd pull that shit or not even bother to try, maybe this is just me but that felt fucked up

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Take care of yourselves ok :( ? I really hope you and your system can heal from this, genuinely. One system in the fandom to another.

Thanks man, we're trying our best :')

You be safe too👍

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Mfw I now kind of fucking hate Mink because I associate him with jazz because that was her entire branding and I feel sick whenever he's mentioned or I see him because trauma by association/lh/u can laugh