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captainshurley · 7 months ago

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Baby I'm not alright, but I'm okay (Part 7)

Cash Wheeler x f reader

Previous chapter

Waking up this morning, y/n slowly opened her eyes, welcoming the warm sunlight. Daniel had left late last night when the rain stopped, but the scent of his cologne still lingered in the air. y/n smiled at her memories of yesterday. Of the support Dan had given her during her panic attack. Who would have thought he wouldn't walk away scared or tell her, like the others, that she shouldn't act like that.

The girl stretched lazily and got out of bed to make breakfast.

In the quaint and cozy kitchen, a vibrant young lady meticulously crafted culinary masterpieces with an air of unwavering determination. Her hands danced nimbly across the countertop, measuring ingredients with precision and finesse. As she stirred, sautéed, and whisked, the aroma of fragrant spices filled the air, tantalizing the senses. y/n's eyes sparkled with passion as she poured her heart and soul into each dish, blending flavors and textures with impeccable skill. The rhythmic tapping of a knife against the cutting board provided a soothing soundtrack to her culinary symphony, creating a sense of peace and tranquility.

Finished with breakfast, y/n found her phone. Her phone had been bursting with notifications since early morning, but because the sound was off, she hadn't seen any of them until now. Several hundred people had subscribed to her Instagram. Some even wrote messages to her in DMs. Most of them were very toxic messages. In addition to notifications of new subscribers, y/n was tagged in some photos. The girl opened one of them and was horrified to notice that the picture showed her hugging Daniel and geotagging the park they met at yesterday. Things got even worse when y/n read the caption under the photo.

“Wrestling star's private life secret revealed! Cash Wheeler, known for his brutal and little-talking image in the ring, was recently spotted in the company of a mysterious lady. For a long time, Wheeler has shied away from discussing his personal relationships, preferring to keep his private life under wraps...”

Under the photo was a link for the full article on the site. Y/n still didn't understand what it was about her and how she deserved all that was coming at her at once. She opened the link and continued reading the article.

“...This time, however, wrestling fans got a rare chance to see Cash Wheeler in an unusual situation for him. Last night, September 27, a Reddit user posted photos of the pair strolling through a park, exchanging smiles. Usually so focused and stern in the ring, Cash seems to have changed his look, becoming more relaxed and open in the company of his enigmatic companion.

The gossip and speculation have not been long in coming. Reddit users are wondering who is this mysterious girl who won the wrestler's heart? How long have they been together? And how have they managed to keep their relationship a secret until now? Undoubtedly, this exciting event caused a storm of emotions among Cash Wheeler's fans. Fans even found some photos from Dynamite that showed Wheeler's new girlfriend with a full access badge, including backstage.

We were able to find out that Cash Wheeler's new girlfriend Y/n Mercer serves on the Asheville Police Department...”

The girl couldn't read any further. She locked the screen and tossed the phone aside. What to say to her brother and how to explain to him that she wasn't hiding her relationship from him because there was no relationship as such. She and Daniel are just friends, right? At the thought of Wheeler, her lips curved into a nervous smile. How would Dan react? Wouldn't it become a problem for him? Rational thoughts quickly began to override the voice in her head. It was screaming that trouble was coming and she needed to run away sooner rather than later. Literally and figuratively.

Y/n literally ran to her bedroom and started packing quickly. She took only the necessary things: documents, several sets of clothes, a laptop and chargers for her gadgets. Y/n began to gasp with panic. She wasn't ready to go through all of this again and alone. She shook and slid down the wall to the floor. Her eyes filled with tears, her hands were shaking, and she was terribly short of breath.

Y/n sobbed for quite some time. She was just beginning to calm down as she heard her phone ringing in the living room. Getting up on slightly shaky legs, she walked to the common room, picked up her phone and saw a missed call from her brother.

“Damn, I'm not ready for this conversation yet...”

#ftr #cash wheeler x reader #cash wheeler #cash wheeler imagine #dax harwood #x y/n #all elite wrestling #aew #aew x reader #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling fanfic #wrestling fic #wrestling #aew fanfiction #aew fanfic #aew fic #Daniel Wheeler

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shedoessoshedoes · 1 year ago

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nobody loves me like you love me

Hi hello and welcome to me trying to write about a new ship in a new fandom 😱😱😱😱😱 it's really scary guys. This one's for Book Lovers by Emily Henry because I'm a slut for Charlie Lastra and for engagements. I hope you like it :) Tell me if you do!

wc: 2,753

tw: nsfw

tagging: no one yet bc idk who likes these books eep 🫣

The party’s almost over when Charlie pulls me aside. It was a raging success, celebrating the release of Frigid, Tala’s birthday, and Goode Books’s upswing all at once. Charlie and I flew into Asheville two days ago and are staying for another three; even though our lives are planted firmly in New York, our family is here, in Sunshine Falls, and there’s only so long I can go without seeing Libby, Brendan, and the girls and Charlie can go without seeing his parents. It’s still strange to wake up in a New York that Libby does not inhabit, but the transition was easier than I anticipated. My new job at Loggia helped, distracting me with a heap of manuscripts and a learning curve even a shark struggled to keep up with. When Charlie came back, he helped me, too, holding me when I’d break down after a call with Libby left me feeling a little too empty, taking me to get Thai when I felt like I had no one left for me in the city, and reminding me every day in that Charlie Lastra way of his that it was okay to make choices that are the best for me, not just best for everyone else. ��Stephens,” he told me frequently, “you don’t compromise on anything else. You negotiated this ending for yourself. Enjoy it.”

I look over to him now, our hands intertwined as we wander through the meadow behind the cabin, where we’re staying for this trip (Charlie graduated from his racecar bed and although we love Libby’s Number Three, neither of us were interested in being up all night with the baby at her house) his capsule wardrobe looking as perfectly polished as ever, even in the June heat. He catches me looking and smiles the smile I love the most, the one that tells me he has a secret tucked up into the corner. “What?” he asks.

“You know that these shoes aren’t made to go frolicking through a field, Charlie.” I tell him. “I’m planning a way to extract revenge.”

“Stephens, if you feel the same way at the end of this frolic, I’ll let you extract whatever revenge you’d like.”

I mock gasp. “You’d let me publish Bigfoot erotica under your name?”

He laughs, shakes his head, and looks over to me. “Yes, Nora Stephens. If you still hate me for taking you on this frolic by the time its over, I’ll let you publish whatever erotica you want.

“You’re just saying that because Bigfoot secretly gets you off, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” he tells me with mock seriousness. “There’s nothing sexier than Bigfoot and his big—”

I slap my hand over his mouth as he laughs. “Don’t you finish that sentence, Charlie Lastra. You’ll damage my ego. I’m supposed to be the sexiest one in your life.”

His eyes soften, and he does look serious now. “You are, Nora. You’re the most everything in my life.”

I look away, fighting back tears. It turns out, after a decade of never crying, it’s hard to turn the waterworks off. I get emotional at everything now, from animal commercials (fucking stop laughing, Charlie, the cats are being abused), to the endings of new books (I still love the ones with realistic endings the best, but now I understand why Libby and Mom found them so hard to read), to Charlie Lastra making comments about Bigfoot erotica that somehow feel like so much more.

We come up to the cabin and Charlie pulls me up to stand on the porch. “Do you remember the first time you saw me in this town? How much you hated me?”

I laugh, nodding. “I didn’t believe it was actually you at first. I was convinced there must be some Charlie Lastra doppelganger, here to make my life miserable. I didn’t believe you would ever come here willingly.”

“To be fair, I didn’t come here willingly. I was held against my will and without takeout for months, Nora.”

I roll my eyes at him. “You know you would drop everything for your family the second they need something again.”

He hums in agreement. “I think about those first few weeks we were here sometimes. How lucky we are that we ended up in the same room at the same time. How lucky we are that our families love us enough to let us negotiate a happy ending.”

I understand, suddenly, what is about to happen. The breath punches out of me, and even though I knew this was coming, know what I’m going to say (even if I have to figure out a way to return the ring if it’s horrifyingly ugly), I’m suddenly so nervous that I start to shake. “Charlie,” I whisper.

He smiles at me. “Nora,” he whispers right back. “Good?” he asks.

“I think so,” I tell him, voice, body, soul trembling.

“Good,” he tells me. “Ready?”

I nod, the words already failing me. Feelings like this cannot be categorized. They cannot be put into boxes. Feelings like this balloon out and over every part of me until I’m consumed, until I feel them from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

“You’re perfect for me, Stephens,” he starts. “I think you already know that, but I want to tell you again. I love your nightmare brain. I love your nightmare body. I love your impractical shoes and your fancy underwear and your hour-long skincare routine.”

“That skincare routine brings me a lot of joy,” I tell him through the tears that are already starting to fall.

“I know. That’s why I love it. I love all the things you do to bring yourself joy. You spent so much of your life making sure everyone else was happy, Nora, and I’m so fucking proud that you’re able to make decisions now that make you happy. I love that I make you happy. I love your Peloton, and the bodega we go to every Saturday to get bagels, and I love that you wouldn’t leave New York for anything.

“I love that I’m the only one that understands that you’re harsh because you care. I love that I can tell you things in my horrible, sarcastic way, and you’ll understand exactly what I mean. I love our apartment, and I love being in it with you every day. I love sitting next to you and neither of us talking, because we’re working, or reading, or just being, because we understand each other well enough to know that sometimes less words are more powerful than more.

“But mostly, Nora, I just love you. And I really would like to spend the rest of my life with you. I might want it even more than I want to move out of my racecar bed into Libby’s guest room.”

“I knew you were just using me for my connections,” I say. He tilts one corner of his mouth up and gets down on one knee.

“Charlie,” I gasp out, incapable of anything else, as he pulls out a small box.

“I love you so much I even know that you want to pick out your own ring. So forgive me for offering you an empty box, but please, Nora Stephens, marry me. Let me spend the rest of my life contributing to our DINK lifestyle. Let me be easy for you in the best way possible. Marry me, Nora.”

I crash to the floor onto my knees so we’re at the same height, cradle his face in my hands, and laugh through my tears. “Yes.” I tell him. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

“Yes?” he asks, as though he can’t quite believe this is real.

“Yes,” I say to him again. “Yes, I love you, thank you for not making me wear an ugly piece of jewelry, yes, yes, yes.” I pull him to me, kissing him, but we’re both laughing too hard to kiss properly, so it’s more of us smiling against each other, foreheads pressed together, every piece of our bodies fitting together.

Charlie pulls me on top of him so he’s laying on the porch. “Thank God you said yes. I still had a niggling worry that you were going to leave me for Shepherd.”

“Charlie Lastra!” I exclaim. “How dare you think for a second that I would pick the hot small town farmer over the overworked city executive who has no life because, and I quote, ‘There’s always something too good to read.’”

He rolls us so I’m laying underneath him. “Well, when you put it that way…” He kisses me again, long and slow and deep, and fuck, I’m so gone for this man.

I break away, laughing. “Holy shit. We’re going to get married.”

“I know,” he says, smiling wickedly. “How early is too early to start telling people my wife is a hot, kick-ass editor whose books crack the New York Times bestselling list every time they release?”

“Mmm, you can brag about me anytime you’d like.” I reach up to kiss him, twining my fingers through his hair. “Mr. Lastra-Stephens.” He nearly chokes, and I pull back, searching his eyes. “Sorry, I know we haven’t talked about names, but–”

“Shut the fuck up. Of fucking course I’m going to take your name. Fuck the patriarchy and all that. It’s just–” he rolls his hips into mine and I groan. “Really fucking hot to hear you talk like that. Excuse me for reacting.” He kisses my forehead, my cheek, my neck, and then looks back up at me. “Mrs. Lastra-Stephens. Or Stephens-Lastra. Whichever. Whatever. I don’t fucking care.”

“Lastra-Stephens,” I decide. “It’s alphabetical.”

He groans. “You really are my perfect woman.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t get me a ring.” I tell him as he rolls off of me so I’m pressed up against his side, my head resting on his shoulder. We’re still on the porch.

He looks down at me, quizzical. “Did you want me to?”

“No. I just thought,” I shrug. “You’d think it was weird I wanted to pick it out myself.”

“Nora. You forget how well I know you. You forget how similar we are. I would want to pick out a piece of jewelry I’m going to wear for the rest of my life, too.” He kisses my hair. “But for the record, I would’ve picked a really good ring.”

“Oh, yeah? What would it have looked like?”

“Expensive. Classic. Hot. I’d just find one that reminds me of you, honestly.”

I laugh, press a kiss to his shoulder. “I’ll let you have input when we pick one in the city, then.”

“Good.” He leans down to kiss me, then, and this time, there’s more intention behind it. His tongue brushes against mine, and then I’m on top of him, pressing him back into the porch.

He sits me up, still kissing me, and then breaks away to press his forehead to mine. “No offense Stephens, but I’m not having hot engagement sex with you on my parents’ cabin’s front porch.”

I laugh, climb off of him, and pull him up. “So hot engagement sex is on the table inside?”

He gives me one of his Charlie looks then, one that tells me that obviously hot engagement sex is on the table inside. He unlocks the door as I press kisses down his neck. “Nora.”

I smirk. “Charlie.”

He has me up against the door the second it closes behind us, and then I’m tugging him upstairs. We tumble onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs, Charlie on top and me underneath. He kisses me hard, presses me into the mattress, pulls my shirt up and tugs my pants off. When he stands up to take his own clothes off, I sit up on my elbows, looking at him.

“What, Stephens? Regretting your decision already?”

“You are,” I say, “ridiculously hot.”

The corner of his mouth ticks up. “I love you too, Nora.”

Then he’s on top of me again, taking off my underwear, pressing his mouth to me, making me gasp and arch underneath him until I’m coming. He crawls back up me so we’re face to face. “Good?” he asks. I nod. “Keep going?” I nod again, and then he’s pressing inside of me, gasping, until we’re pressed together as tightly as we can be.

“Fuck, Nora,” Charlie rasps, dropping his head to my shoulder. “We get to do this forever.”

“I know,” I tell him, flipping us so I’m on top. “Aren’t you glad you got such a good catch?”

“Jesus–fuck–I just can’t believe all my wildest fantasies came true.”

I hum in agreement and start to move, my stomach already tightening with the anticipation of what’s to come. He only lets me stay in control for a minute, and then rolls me back over to fuck into me slow and deep. I moan, and then I’m coming, clenching down around him, and I can feel him come, too. We stay locked together for what feels like hours before he pulls out and tugs me into his side.

“Hi,” I say, looking up at him.

“Hi,” he says back. “Mrs. Lastra-Stephens.”

I groan. “Fuck, you’re right, that is really attractive.”

He laughs. “I know, right? It’s almost like it brings out the inner Bigfoot-esque possessiveness we all hold within us.”

I shove at him, rolling away as I cackle. “You did not just bring Bigfoot into sex.”

He pulls me back, kissing my left ring finger and then pressing a kiss to my lips. “Of course I did, Nora. Bigfoot is what got us into all of this in the first place.”

I laugh, thinking of those first texts in Sunshine Falls, of everything that came after it.

“Did our frolic end well enough for you to convince you not to publish Bigfoot erotica under my name?”

“Mmm, I don’t know.” I roll to lay on top of him. “Getting engaged to the love of one’s life isn’t quite a momentous enough occasion for me.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mmhmm.”

“What if the love of one’s life did this?” He presses a finger into me, right where I need him, and I groan.

“One might be able to be persuaded.”

He keeps going, then, until I’m gasping and begging and telling him that of course I won’t publish anything under his name, and then he’s back inside of me, moving until we both tumble over the edge.

Afterward, we sit on the bed and plan our wedding. We’ll have it in the city, and I already know how I’ll ask them to rearrange Freeman’s Books so we can have our ceremony there, amongst the books that kept me alive, the books that brought us together. We’ll go to our favorite restaurant afterwards, and drink and eat and dance all night. We’ll only invite our immediate family; who else do we need besides Libby and Brendan, Sally and Clint and Carina? I’ll wear a simple dress: long, white, and in Charlie’s words, really fucking hot. He’ll wear the suit that’s already a part of his wardrobe. God forbid he buy new clothes to only wear them once. Our rings will be gold, and they won’t be flashy. Neither of us are trying to prove how much we love each other or how rich we are with these rings. After, we’ll go back to our perfect apartment, and have romantic, dreamy, slow sex. We’ll wake up each morning after that belonging to each other a little more than we did the day before, intertwining our lives until we’re able to live our ending forever. There will never be kids, but there might be a cat. There will always be fights, and there will always be peace after that. There will be love and trust and respect, and I’ve never been so grateful for this man sitting beside me than I do in that moment.

“I love you,” I tell him for what must be the tenth time tonight, as we’re starting to fall asleep.

He tugs me into a hug. “I don’t think we could have written a better ending.”

“No,” I agree, “we couldn’t have. It’s too real to be written.”

Charlie hums in agreement, and we fall asleep like that, my head on his shoulder, one of his legs in between mine, my hand on his chest, his hand covering mine. It’s perfect. It’s better than anything I could have thought up.

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Yay!! thank you so much for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments and constrictive criticism is always welcome. My asks are open: let me know what you want me to write!!

#book lovers #emily henry #charlie lastra #nora stephens #nora x charlie #book lovers fic #book lovers emily henry #nora x charlie fic #can you tell I'm scared to post this #please don't be mean

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rockislandadultreads · 1 year ago

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Native American Heritage Month: More Fiction Recommendations

Even As We Breathe by Annette Saunooke Clapsaddle

Nineteen-year-old Cowney Sequoyah yearns to escape his hometown of Cherokee, North Carolina, in the heart of the Smoky Mountains. When a summer job at Asheville's luxurious Grove Park Inn and Resort brings him one step closer to escaping the hills that both cradle and suffocate him, he sees it as an opportunity. The experience introduces him to the beautiful and enigmatic Essie Stamper - a young Cherokee woman who is also working at the inn and dreaming of a better life.

With World War II raging in Europe, the resort is the temporary home of Axis diplomats and their families, who are being held as prisoners of war. A secret room becomes a place where Cowney and Essie can escape the white world of the inn and imagine their futures free of the shadows of their families' pasts. Outside of this refuge, however, racism and prejudice are never far behind, and when the daughter of one of the residents goes missing, Cowney finds himself accused of abduction and murder.

The Removed by Brandon Hobson

In the fifteen years since their teenage son, Ray-Ray, was killed in a police shooting, the Echota family has been suspended in private grief. The mother, Maria, increasingly struggles to manage the onset of Alzheimer's in her husband, Ernest. Their adult daughter, Sonja, leads a life of solitude, punctuated only by spells of dizzying romantic obsession. And their son, Edgar, fled home long ago, turning to drugs to mute his feelings of alienation. With the family's annual bonfire approaching - an occasion marking both the Cherokee National Holiday and Ray-Ray's death, and a rare moment in which they openly talk about his memory - Maria attempts to call the family together from their physical and emotional distances once more. But as the bonfire draws near, each of them feels a strange blurring of the boundary between normal life and the spirit world.

There There by Tommy Orange

As we learn the reasons that each person is attending the Big Oakland Powwow - some generous, some fearful, some joyful, some violent - momentum builds toward a shocking yet inevitable conclusion that changes everything. Jacquie Red Feather is newly sober and trying to make it back to the family she left behind in shame. Dene Oxendene is pulling his life back together after his uncle’s death and has come to work at the powwow to honor his uncle’s memory. Opal Viola Victoria Bear Shield has come to watch her nephew Orvil, who has taught himself traditional Indian dance through YouTube videos and will perform in public for the very first time. There will be glorious communion, and a spectacle of sacred tradition and pageantry. And there will be sacrifice, and heroism, and loss.

Woman of Light by Kali Fajardo-Anstine

Luz “Little Light” Lopez, a tea leaf reader and laundress, is left to fend for herself after her older brother, Diego, a snake charmer and factory worker, is run out of town by a violent white mob. As Luz navigates 1930s Denver, she begins to have visions that transport her to her Indigenous homeland in the nearby Lost Territory. Luz recollects her ancestors’ origins, how her family flourished, and how they were threatened. She bears witness to the sinister forces that have devastated her people and their homelands for generations. In the end, it is up to Luz to save her family stories from disappearing into oblivion.

#indigenous heritage #fiction books #fiction #reading recommendations #reading recs #book recommendations #book recs #library books #tbr #tbr pile #to read #booklr #book tumblr #book blog #library blog #readers advisory

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fleshinsomniac · 2 months ago

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my heart breaks for appalachia. ever since i was a little girl i always saw the mountains as a sanctuary, a world away from my own. i have my own torment with spirituality but conveniently appalachia has always surrounded me with hope exactly when needed. i camped at mount mitchell over the summer, i purged so much emotion that by the time we got to the diner i couldn’t even recognize myself in the bathroom mirror. when i lived in asheville i had my first open mic and it was the most intimate gut-wrenching thing i had ever written and i got to talk with complete strangers all night about our life experiences, rage and what it means to love. it saddens me that such a beautiful community aren’t getting the help they so desperately need. i hope that the people with experiences like mine take initiative to be able to give back and raise awareness.

#hurricane helene #western north carolina #asheville #chimney rock #helene

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maditalksmusic · 2 months ago

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All Things Go NYC (Day 2) at Forest Hills Stadium

This past Sunday, September 29, I had the pleasure of attending the second day of the All Things Go music festival at Forest Hills Stadium in Queens, New York. It wasn’t a planned trip, but thanks to Chappell Roan dropping out of the festival on the Friday morning prior, ticket prices plummeted. In the span of 30 minutes, they went from $300-$400 to $75, and it was too good of a deal to pass up. Given the state of the weather the day I attended the festival, I didn’t know if it was even going to be worth having gone, but leaving that night, I couldn’t have been more grateful for the experience.

It certainly would’ve been more comfortable if it hadn’t been raining all day long at an outdoor venue and I wasn’t soaked to the bone and my hands weren’t completely numb by the end of the night, but honestly the dreary conditions curated the perfect vibe for the lineup. Saturday had been a more energetic set of artists, far more pop-centric than Sunday with sets including sapphic pop-rock band MUNA and newfound lesbian pop icon Reneè Rapp. Sunday, on the other hand, was a lot closer to a dark folk-rock festival with artists you’d listen to speeding down backroads during a thunderstorm or sobbing your eyes out over your latest breakup, wondering what you ever could’ve done to bring what feels like the end of the world upon yourself. I had to leave before the final headliner, Janelle Monáe, took the stage, because regrettably, it was a school night. However, I was able to see the rest of the day’s lineup - Annie DiRusso, Indigo De Souza, Mannequin Pussy, Maisie Peters, Julien Baker, and Ethel Cain.

Lineup banner on the exterior of Forest Hills Stadium, shot by me

Annie DiRusso was a name I was previously unfamiliar with, but I found myself thoroughly impressed with her set. She kicked the afternoon off perfectly, donning a bright yellow poncho on stage in solidarity with the already drenched crowd. Her highly autobiographical style of songwriting lent itself well to audience engagement as she gave us pieces of different stories that inspired each song, many aspects of which hit extremely close to home for a lot of the audience. Most of her upbeat ‘bedroom-rock’ songs focused on DiRusso’s run-ins with classic coming-of-age experiences, uniting everyone in the crowd from the sixteen-year-olds there with their moms to the fifty-year-old (mostly lesbian) couples thrilled to see such a wonderfully queer festival lineup.

Setlist:

Don’t Swerve

Legs

Nine Months

Wet

Next up was Indigo De Souza, who I’ve known for a while as she’s based in Asheville, North Carolina, about an hour and a half from my hometown. This was my first time seeing her live, but I have friends back home who have been to shows of hers and usually, she’s quite lively and her energy is infectious. After her set at All Things Go, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the stadium. Hurricane Helene hit western NC the day prior, and it caused absolutely devastating damage, especially in Asheville. Just before De Souza took the stage, she received the news that her entire home had been destroyed in the storm - her house, everything she owned, her piano - gone. Her performance was among the most raw I’ve ever seen, every single lyric hit like an emotional avalanche. Through most of the songs, her eyes stayed closed and she stayed still at the microphone, simply letting the music pour out of her. It was the most moving set of the day, I think. Before she left the stage, she shared a number of resources that people can utilize to help aid those who were deeply affected by Hurricane Helene in Appalachia specifically, making a point to use her platform for good. I’m still in awe of the fact that she managed to drag herself out there and play so gorgeously in the wake of such a disaster, which goes to show just how powerful of an artist she is.

Setlist:

Be My Love

Staying Busy

Wasting Your Time

You Can Be Mean

Love Transcends

be like the water

shit together

Younger & Dumber

Indigo De Souza during her set at All Things Go NYC, shot by me

Following Indigo De Souza’s intense set came a very different sort of energy from a four-piece female-fronted rock band called Mannequin Pussy, with front woman and lead singer Marisa Dabice, Kaleen Reading on drums, Colins Regisford on bass guitar, and Maxine Steen on guitar. I’d heard a couple of their songs before, but I hadn’t done a deep dive on their discography. After their performance, I was completely sold. The group is heavily reminiscent of bands from the 90s Riot Grrrl scene - the resemblance in energy to the Bikini Kill concert I was at a few weeks ago was incredible. Before Dabice even began singing, I thought to myself, huh… she reminds me a lot of Kathleen Hanna. I don’t know that an outdoor stadium was the best venue for them, but they put on a good show nonetheless. It was the only heavier rock set of the festival, and it was clear that a lot of the audience wasn’t necessarily jiving with it (but, that was the same group that was still mad about Chappell Roan dropping out of the lineup last minute for mental health reasons because she was the only artist they even bought the ticket for, so it was unsurprising). It was so refreshing to see the same sort of sentiments that drove the Riot Grrrl movement still present in modern rock music - not in the sense that the world is still rife with problems that are being felt especially deeply by women and queer people at the moment, but refreshing in the sense that there’s still groups out there that are genuinely passionate about using their platform to spur change in any way possible.

Setlist:

Sometimes

Loud Bark

I Got Heaven

Of Her

Aching

OK? OK! OK? OK!

Romantic

Following Mannequin Pussy was the only non-queer pop artist of the day, Maisie Peters. Peters is currently touring with Conan Gray on the Found Heaven Tour and has gained a lot of recognition for her recent opening act in London for Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour. I’m not a huge Maisie Peters fan generally… I won’t go out of my way to listen to her music. You won’t find me searching it up on Spotify, but maybe I won’t skip a song if it pops up in some sort of generated playlist from time to time. I was quite frankly shocked by how much I enjoyed her performance at All Things Go. When she came on, I was probably the least enthusiastic one in my section, but a few songs in I was jamming along, leaning into her bright and whimsical songs telling the stories of her past romantic ventures, for the most part. I still maintain my stance that Maisie Peters comes across as a teenage carbon copy of Sabrina Carpenter (especially with the bangs… the resemblance is undeniable) despite only being one year younger than Carpenter at age 24. But, I’ll admit it - her music is fun. She’s got a stage presence that feels sort of like what I imagine the experience of chewing bright pink bubblegum at a neon-lit roller rink with your friends singing along to the latest radio pop hits feels like. She grabs the audience and holds onto it until she’s completely out of sight, and most importantly, she leaves you at least a little happier than you were before.

Setlist:

You’re Just a Boy (And I’m Kinda the Man)

Body Better

Love Him I Don’t

John Hughes Movie

Not Another Rockstar

Holding Out for a Hero (Bonnie Tyler cover)

The Band and I

Villain

The Last One

There It Goes

History of Man

Lost the Breakup

Crowd during Maisie Peters' set at All Things Go NYC, shot by me

The anticipation for Julien Baker’s set was palpable. The night prior, MUNA had brought out Lucy Dacus for Phoebe Bridgers’ verse in their hit song “Silk Chiffon”. Baker, Bridgers, and Dacus formed a supergroup called Boygenius back in 2018, and have released two EPs as well as a full studio album together. Phoebe Bridgers is still by far the most well-known of the three, but with the massive success of their debut album The Record last year, which won the Grammys for Best Alternative Album, Best Rock Song, and Best Rock Performance (the latter two both for the track “Not Strong Enough”), both Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker saw an increase in the popularity of their solo work. Given Dacus’ appearance with MUNA, almost everyone was expecting an on-stage appearance from her during Baker’s set as well since they do have music together as Boygenius. While she didn’t join Julien Baker on stage, Lucy Dacus was spotted watching her set along with Phoebe Bridgers, huddled together under a cream-colored umbrella, supporting their best friend like a pair of proud parents still flabbergasted by their child’s sheer talent. Baker’s set was what could only be described as a religious experience for me. Maybe 30 seconds into her first song, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I’m not one to form those creepy parasocial relationships with artists and pretend I know them personally, which is usually what puts people to tears that soon into a show. I found Julien Baker’s music at a really difficult point in my life, and ever since I’ve had an incredibly strong emotional attachment to her songs. Her music helped me pull through some of my toughest times, and to this day I have to be careful about when I listen to her because doing so conjures up such intense emotions for me. When she started singing, all of those feelings came cascading to the surface, and I couldn’t hold back the sobs thinking back on the last few years and how grateful I am to be in such a wonderful place now. Time felt frozen in that moment, it was just me and the music in this emotional vortex, swirling around and around until she left the stage.

Setlist:

Over

Appointments

Ringside

Red Door

Happy to Be Here

Favor

Tokyo

Sprained Ankle

Bloodshot

Even

Claws in Your Back

Hardline

Julien Baker during her set at All Things Go NYC, shot by me

After Julien Baker, some water, and the most mediocre $9 french fries I’ve ever consumed, I felt like I was in heaven. Which is an interesting place to be going into an Ethel Cain show, given the intricate religious-trauma-ridden, toxic-relationship-turns-cannibalism lore behind her first and only (very much concept) album, Preacher’s Daughter. Ethel Cain is the stage name and character identity developed by Hayden Silas Andehӧnia. Her ambient contemporary folk-rock music is like nothing else out there right now - I’ve never heard a concept album that tells such a detailed story with each song. The interpretations of each song are left up to the listener’s experience and their decision on whether or not to put the time in to do their research, but it’s impossible not to feel as if you’re witnessing a scene from a movie go down in your mind when you hear her music. When you close your eyes and let the song wash over you, basking in her richly haunting vocals and the perfectly minimal but just maximal enough instrumentation, you can feel the dry heat of Alabama, the sunburn on your neck sitting in the bleachers at a football game, the crushing weight of the church on your shoulders with every decision you make. Every note is a pull between the pounding of a heart pushing hot red blood through a body pulsing with vitality and the ice cold remnants of a mutilated corpse. It’s feeling like there must be a God, or at the very least some sort of outside force of the universe, but looking at the state of the world and thinking to yourself it would be impossible for any kind of holy being to allow anyone to have to suffer the way they do. By the end of Ethel Cain’s set, it was pitch-black outside, everything hurt, my skirt was completely ripped, and I was once again shivering under my three layers of soaked clothing, ready for any kind of respite. I can’t imagine a better way to have experienced it.

Setlist:

Dust Bowl

A House in Nebraska

Family Tree

Thoroughfare

Crush

Punish

August Underground

Gibson Girl

Bette Davis Eyes (Jackie DeShanon cover)

American Teenager

During Ethel Cain's set at All Things Go NYC, shot by me

#all things go #boygenius #julien baker #phoebe bridgers #lucy dacus #concert #ethel cain #indie #rock #maisie peters #nyc #lgbtq #sapphic #queer music

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velvet-ebook · 2 months ago

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Memory is spatial, geographic.

Often when processing significant traumas in a therapeutic space, two things are done: establishing an ideal geographical location to return to whenever the feelings become too intense, and then, before recounting people, actions, or emotions, articulating the physical layout of where the trauma occurred.

I don’t really understand why we do this, but right now, for me, WNC is both of those things, the safe ideal and the location of immense shock and suffering. My immediate loved ones are okay and I am so so grateful, but my community is still deeply entrenched in grief and uncertainty. We don’t know the full extent yet, and privately I am learning truly harrowing details of what WNC is going through—I share what’s useful but not obscenely triggering.

It’s tricky, right, because Asheville is underwater, wrecked, and the footage of wealthy and gentrified areas destroyed make the most substantial media impact. But I’m trying to remember the more secluded and less photographically glossy communities that have been devastated too and are less reachable, will be repaired more slowly. The unhoused people unreported in the deceased or missing tally, the elderly, the sick, the stray animals. We haven’t even begun to discuss this disaster’s relation to climate change, but in time we will.

It’s overwhelming and I think my own anxiety and grief is largely unimportant and unhelpful, but articulation is agency. I feel guilty when I shower, when I drink water, when I take the bus, when I use my debit card. I feel guilty that this tragedy is not unique at all— just that it hit my own little bubble and that’s why I care.

Still, I’m so heartened by the local movements to aid ALL those in need. I’m deeply skeptical of patriotism and arbitrary allegiance, but locality and compassion and action on the small scale are net goods— they keep us alive.

This is long winded, I have more to say, but as my community experiences unimaginable destruction, I am grateful beyond language to feel deeply connected to my place— more than I ever have, despite the geographic distance. Love you WNC, I will be back the minute I can be of service 💕

#asheville #asheville nc #hurricane helene #helene #north carolina #chimney rock #text #natural disasters #mountains #wnc #western north carolina

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sweatermuppet · 1 year ago

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my stickers are for sale at BookWoman in Austin, TX, USA as of right now!! <3

#very small stock with them currently so they might go fast!#also available at bluestockings in NYC + EMOTE in Asheville North Carolina #will be restocking with Category is Books in Glasgow very soon but sold out right now

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smolandweirdwriter · 9 months ago

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Serafina and the Black Cloak Reread Thoughts

I forgot that the book takes place in 1899 for some reason, but regardless I'm very eager to see how that's handled (since I read it when I was much younger, I doubt I would have picked up on that). but I mean that's just fascinating given the history of the civil war (Cornelius Vanderbilt was a union man--not in it himself, but donated a giant steamship worth about 1 million USD). Also fun fact: George Vanderbilt paid his staff New York wages, which were higher than Asheville wages-- up to the equivalent of $73-ish dollars for the highest working members.

sera and her pa are adorable! little serafina not wanting to eat her veggies is my favorite thing & in a modern au he would definitely be the kinda guy to mix spinach into her brownies to try and trick her into eating vegetables

also serafina first line: "Did." do with that what you will

can serafina get rabies? she says she's been bitten by rats before...

love the sprinkling of 1890s southern dialect lmao

SHE'S THE CRC!

I forgot how good the imagery in this book is!! the descriptions of sounds and nature are incredible!!

mr Vanderbilt has over 22 THOUSAND BOOKS that's the kinda life goal I aspire to

serafina made up stories after reading she's just like me for

au where serafina is a PI & part-time novelist perchance?? (Braeden is a vet ofc)

Sera's pa: if anybody ever asks you who you are or where you're from, you don't answer, got it?

Sera: got it

Sera, the second she meets Braeden: hi I'm serafina here's my social security number

OH BRAEDEN FIRST DESCRIPTION WHAT "... or she'd see their twelve-year-old nephew riding his horse across the grounds, with his sleek black dog running alongside." (p. 12)

"Sometimes she dreamed of wearing fancy dresses and ribbons in her hair and shiny shoes on her feet" props to Robert Beatty for not making her have internalized misogyny and hating "girlie" things. the main fight scene is done in a dress if I recall and I'm so ready to read it

she mentions Braeden a lot (calls him "the young master" or "the nephew" but still, good foreshadowing)

awww poor sera wants a real family but also loves her pa *sigh* EMOTIONAL CONFLICT

sera describing the basement as "hers"!!!

the butler's 11 year old assistant gobbling cookies in the middle of the night is so real im sorry. but also sera standing in the shadow watching him & pretending they're friends chatting is gonna make me cry

oooh the rats and bugs all fleeing from cracks in the walls when the man in the black cloak arrives!!!

mr Thorne first line: "Don't worry. We're going right in here..." creepy lil shit

"her legs felt like explosions of speed" idk why but that line made me laugh. the book is so well-written but for some reason that line just feels very, idk, childish? it kinda took me out of the experience but maybe that's just me

"friends had to help friends. she didn't know much about life, but she knew that." she doesn't even know the girl but considers them friends and wants to help her. serafina seems to think Braeden is kinder than she is, but honestly I don't think that's true. I think Braeden is more willing to trust people, but serafina is more willing to sympathize with them, & I think she has preconceptions of people in power being bad (mr v, mr Thorne-- though the latter turned out to be true--rowena, etc) which turns out false

"A tall man in a black cloak and hood, his hands stained with blood" we have our first Mr Thorne description folks!!

"Just stay still, and this will all be over," he said, pulling her toward him. Serafina suddenly realized she'd made a dreadful mistake. This was far more than she could handle." oh god the places my mind instantly went to? dark, awful places. this book is disturbing and I'm inly 19 pages in-- how did I read this so gleefully as a kid?

"...as if the man wasn't of his own mind but possessed by a demented, ravenous demon" I don't quite remember but isn't it true that the cloak can speak to the wearer? so did it take over mr Thorne at some point? did hearing that voice all the time affect him and further corrupt him? did he ever get confused when he took the cloak off, maybe in the beginning, and think perhaps he didn't want to put it back on again, but in the end the urge for power and youth was too great? oooh angsty fanfic ideas.....

"Death was so near that she could see its blackness and hear the screams of the children who had gone before." this book is so dark how is it for children???? it's incredible I love it

ik she's looking for a place to hide from a guy trying to pull our her soul but her thought process when searching for a hiding spot reminds me of playing hide n seek

"She was the CRC. No trap or weapon or evil man was going to catch her." hELL YEAH

ahhhh description of serafina. collar bones that don't connect to other bones --> cats have a detached collar bone. four toes not five--> cats again. (also as a kid who was tiny and short and having been thought practically dead at birth, serafina was always inspiring to me)

"Mice are timid and prone to panic-induced mistakes at key moments. Just stay still little mouse, [she thought]." oooh nice callback to this exact thought about mice when she's hunting rats earlier

Also did I mention how much I love the chapter titles being encircled in brambles that form the shape of her face or a panther?? that's just cool. if I can actually write something good enough to be published, I'd love to have something like that

Babe wake up new slang just dropped: “gnawin’ on leather”

Her pa doesn’t like mr poe gives “my dad won’t let us watch horror movies so you have to sneak them over in a different dvd cover if we’re gonna watch a horror movie when you sleep over later tonight” omg rowena & serafina girltime au?? (Lol sorry)

Oooooh the dynamo’s busted I wonder what thaaat meeeaannnssss (hehehe)

Biltmore being one of the few homes to have electricity is a nice reminder of the time period

“she’d been trying to follow [her pa’s] rules at least some of the time” lol

“Spotting an upholstered chair she felt an overwhelming desire to run her fingernails over the plush fabric” REAL

Her being shocked at flower vases & the idea of flowers INSIDE the house is so funny

Awwww poor sera, looking for her momma and siblings everywhere…

Serafina is super smart. just putting that out there. She’s brilliant and I love her

Oop the first description of Edith Vanderbilt kinda gives chatgpt-generated ngl (obviously it wasn’t bc it predates chatgpt & shitty ai writing generators, & this book is SO MUCH BETTER than anything an AI could generate regardless)

“A refined and attractive woman, Mrs. Vanderbilt had a pale complexion and a full head of dark hair, and she seemed at ease in her role of hostess as she moved through the room.” Idk what about this makes me think “AI generated” but it just DOES

“Serafina loved to climb the tapestries at night and run her fingernails down through the soft fabric” AGAIN SHES SO REAL FOR THIS

OHOHOHO MR THORNE NAMEDROP:

“I’m sure that most of you already know Mr. Montgomery Thorne,”… Mrs. Vanderbilt said with a gentle sweep of her arm toward a gentleman. “He has graciously offered to play [the violin] for us today.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Vanderbilt,” Mr. Thorne said with a smile as he stepped forward. ... To Serafina, who’d been listening to Biltmore’s visitors her entire life, he didn’t sound like he came from the mountains of North Carolina, or from New York like the Vanderbilts. He spoke with the accent of a southern gentleman, maybe from Georgia or South Carolina.”

Serafina having an eye for fashion was NOT what I was expecting from this reread lol (she describes mr t’s outfit then says “all of which she thought went nicely with his silvery-black hair and perfectly trimmed sideburns”)

Hmmm interesting she actually sympathizes with/likes mr Thorne at first?? I did nOT recall that

Lol serafina liking to watch mr Thorne’s fingers move as he plays and wanting to pounce on them is so Cat of her

OMG BRAEDEN BRAEDEN BRAEDEN BRAEDEN

Apparently he looks “sickly, a little frail even” which I do not recall, but hes also got “watchful, sensitive brown eyes” and “a rather fetching tussle of wavy brown hair”

“Are you lost?” WE GOT IT WE GOT THE LINE but more importantly we got the NEXT LINE which is “May I help you find your way?” And hes described as not timid or shy but also not overly confident which I LOVE (fun fact this line is very similar to one of the characters of my other favorite kid’s book series, Keefe Sencen’s “you must be lost” line)

Lol Braeden always sharing his food with Gideon annoys the chefs i LOVE him

OMG HE BOWS TO HER WHEN SHE GIVES HIM HIS NAME LIKE SHE’S A PROPER LADY!!!!! MEN!!!! TAKE NOTES!!!!!! THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE!!!

Name drop at last, missing girl’s name is Clara Brahms. Honestly I’m a little sad Clara isnt a recurring character later on. Braeden, Serafina, and Clara could’ve been a good trio

OOOOHH “She had heard the servants in the kitchen joke that their master must have secretly found the Fountain of Youth” what a NICE SET UP for how the black cloak keeps people young & serafina’s suspicion of mr Vanderbilt

Mr Vanderbilt: *wears dress shoes to go riding*

serafina: criminal activity right there. Lock him up

Least accurate part of this book is the implication that serafina uses a hairbrush lmao

New slang: spit nails (means be really mad)

“I’m twelve years old. I’m grown up.” Mmmm not quite, but I agree with the spirit!

“Just tell me what’s wrong with me. I want to know. Why are you ashamed of me?” scuse me, I’ll just be over here… crying… in the corner

Ohhhh serafina back story… she could’ve had 3 siblings (AU where all of her siblings survive, but they’re humans too & her pa raises them all???)

The midwives wouldn’t even help a baby??? And the nuns were so mean for what? Like at least consolidate the man, he’s trying to keep a child alive, don’t just tell him “it’s going to die. You should kill it now” who DOES THAT??

It’s so funny to me that serafina didn’t realize she was the baby in the story until after it was over. i get that it’s a kids book but still!

Oooooh nature v nurture very nice very nice

Oh wow I forgot serafina was almost kidnapped when she was probably around 2-3ish (her pa says she was walking/wandering around, so I assume it’s around that time?)

“It’s plain to see that you’re not like other girls” WOW sera’s pa just went there lmao

Ok so when I was first reading this, I remember shipping Leandra and serafina’s pa SO HARD and wanting her to have a proper mother-daughter-father type family, yknow?

The implication that bright/stereotypically “good” things can ensnare your soul too is so fascinating. That good things can be bad for you too… fascinating

“Her pa had told her to leave them to it, that it wasn’t any of her business, that they weren’t her kin, but who was he to say who was kin and who wasn’t? He stole babies out of the woods!” Help why is this so funny 😭

Ooohhh she wants to find Braeden! And she keeps thinking of Clara as her friend. I’m so annoyed Clara wasn’t brought back now ugh

Awwww she’s wondering if she can think of Braeden as a friend

Awww poor serafina

Serafina: *sees dress shoes* THE DEVIL’S APPAREL!!!

Huh apparently there’s a concealed door to the right of the fireplace in the billiard room? Wonder if that’s true

Oooh and it leads to the smoking room, with a similar one leading to the gun room. VERY curious if this was made up for the sake of the story or not

Haha serafina spitting on the back of her hand and using it to wipe her face and hair is so Cat

Serafina loves closets lol

HES ARRIVED!!!!!!!! BRAEDEN!!!!!

Help why is this whole page so funny 😭

Serafina canonically climbing up a tree to get away from a dog and staying there until her pa got a ladder to get her down is so Cat I can’t

“[Shadows…] [which] reminded her of griffins, chimeras, and other twisted creatures of the night which were half one thing and half another.” OOOOH good foreshadowing!!!

I like this part

when he asks why he’s never seen her and she says “maybe you’ve seen me before and you’ve just forgotten” and he says “I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED YOU”!!!!

hearinf him say her name has tremendous power over her!!!! I’m going to be sick 😍

smolandweirdwriter reblogged trialserrors Pinned Postsilversickles-deactivated202101 This blog is a safe space.Nazis, TERFs, pedophiles, bigots, Tr*mp supporters, Islamophobes, exclusionists, queerphobes, and anyone who can’t reblog this post, etc, do not interact. I will block you.emo-bunny-1317 FollowHell yeah!#safe space

smolandweirdwriter reblogged smolandweirdwriter Serafina and the Black Cloak Reread Thoughts: chapter Nine and TenMr Vanderbilt: you’ve got to be a man, BraedenSerafina, in the corner, under her breath: yOU’vE gOT tO bE A MaN, bRAeDeNMr Vanderbilt: *gives Braeden some well intentioned, albeit slightly sexist, advice* Serafina: MURDERERNice allusion to Mr thorne’s skill at everything being suspicious Chapter 10 was creepy af (I mean it does take place in a graveyard soo)Cloven Smith has a creepy gravestone, & google told me nothing about him, so I doubt he was realSerafina: *sees a grave to two women* oh these must be sisters me: WIVESAnyway now I wanna write an au about Mary and Margaret being witches or catamounts or something WE FOUND THE GLADEscarred-serafina-fan Djffjjfjvjgnng I'm gonna assume sisters since they were nine but that's freaking funny lolsmolandweirdwriter oh my god I didn’t even read the dates 😭 I’m so stupid

smolandweirdwriter Serafina and the Black Cloak Reread Thoughts: chapter Nine and TenMr Vanderbilt: you’ve got to be a man, BraedenSerafina, in the corner, under her breath: yOU’vE gOT tO bE A MaN, bRAeDeNMr Vanderbilt: *gives Braeden some well intentioned, albeit slightly sexist, advice* Serafina: MURDERERNice allusion to Mr thorne’s skill at everything being suspicious Chapter 10 was creepy af (I mean it does take place in a graveyard soo)Cloven Smith has a creepy gravestone, & google told me nothing about him, so I doubt he was realSerafina: *sees a grave to two women* oh these must be sisters me: WIVESAnyway now I wanna write an au about Mary and Margaret being witches or catamounts or something WE FOUND THE GLADE#serafina and the black cloak#serafina and the black cloak reread

smolandweirdwriter

Serafina and The Black Cloak Reread Thoughts: Chapter Seven and Eight

I got bored so my thoughts will be on two chapters at once now (so this goes faster)

Braeden is canonically a horse girl

lol serafina is scared of horses

mr crankshod is a lil sus (I say like I’ve never read the book before)

still. I don’t like him

me personally I would not walk into the forest at night but 🤷

no bc lowkey I hate bugs. I’d be thinking about them walking all over me the whole time (UNFORTUNATELY, I do love camping and nature. Just not the bugs. Which yes yes I know biodiversity they’re good for the environment et cetera et cetera. I wish I loved them— I never kill them in the house or anything, I take them outside, but I just don’t like them

Sera and Gidean trusting each other!!

oooh when Braeden freezes when he gets scared, nice allusion to how the rats/scared creatures freeze

They’re allies!!!

something I find very interesting is that to serafina EVERYONE can be separated into Friend or Foe. Clara and Nolan, whom she barely knows? Friends.

Braeden is such a horse girl

ooooh he’s helping her into the carriage like a GENTLEMAN

“I’m sorry there aren’t any blankets,” Braeden said. “Not even a good cloak to sleep under.”

”I’ll pass on the cloak, thank you,” Serafina said with a smile, and Braeden laughed.

they’re so 12 year old coded lol

Braeden backstory!! & emotions

Mr Vanderbilt: you’ve got to be a man, Braeden

Serafina, in the corner, under her breath: yOU’vE gOT tO bE A MaN, bRAeDeN

Mr Vanderbilt: *gives Braeden some well intentioned, albeit slightly sexist, advice* Serafina: MURDERER

Nice allusion to Mr thorne’s skill at everything being suspicious

Chapter 10 was creepy af (I mean it does take place in a graveyard soo)

Cloven Smith has a creepy gravestone, & google told me nothing about him, so I doubt he was real

Serafina: *sees a grave to two women* oh these must be sisters

me: WIVES

me, realizing they’re nine: … Childhood lovers who could never fall in love properly because they never grew up?

me, sighing: sisters

Anyway now I wanna write an au about Mary and Margaret being witches or catamounts or something

WE FOUND THE GLADE

WE MET SERAFINAS SIBLINGS!!!!

AND LEANDRA!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!

oooh is a creature of the night good or bad? Or is right/wrong/good/bad something we need to decide for ourselves?? Fascinating implications & queries for a kids book

”why do I deserve a present?” “Because we’re friends, right?” SO CUTE!!!!!!

braeden being loud af in the tunnels lol

braeden hanging 30 feet in the air lol

serafina wanting to knock the pieces of the chess set over to watch them fall is so Cat (yes that is what I dub the term)

lmaoooo Mr Thorne calling Mr Rostanov “daddy” aged SO WELL

serafina: let’s go through peoples stuff

braeden: let’s not

Braeden as they go through every room: I like this guy! He can’t be evil! I like this guy too! And this guy!

Serafina: you like too many people

Raphael Room, Van Dyck Room, Sheraton Room, Old English Room, Morland Room

Love knowing this is actually true!!

“The pumpkin pie, like all pumpkin pie, looked like something a dog would eat” UH! I beg your pardon?? Pumpkin pie is DELICIOUS

Serafina softening to Mr Vanderbilt and seeing how much he cares for his staff and guests!!

Ooooh Mr Thorne is getting sick!!!

Haha Braeden saving serafina from getting her eardrums ruptured

ohhhhh he’s playing the piano because clara is good with the piano

Braeden somehow knowing what kind of food serafina likes and bringing it to her is friend goals

GUYS Braeden says that Mr Thorne owned an estate “before the war between the states.” That’s the civil war, in 1861. It’s been almost 38 years since then. But Mr Thorne isn’t described as an old man at all. But he couldn’t be a fully grown adult and own property 38 years ago but still appear as if he’s in his 40s. Right??

but also Mr Thorne’s death is sooooo overdue. Child murdering evil plantation-owning racist piece of shit got what he deserved

UGH all the descriptions of the night and the stars and nature make me SO MAD I live in a giant polluted city

A good couple pages:

“The time for sneaking and hiding was over. She was going to make sure one man in particular saw her. And tonight was the night. The Chief Rat Catcher had a job to do.” (Ch 19, p225) YES SERAFINA!!!!!

“She… kept lacing her dress up her back with shaky fingers, but she was having a terrible go of it. Normal girls must have extremely long and bendy arms to do this every night, she thought. Help she’s so funny 😭

“She hated walking straight. And she hated walking slow.” REAL

“She was a China doll, and she was a wraith, in and out of shadows, a girl in between.” Very nice

oooohhhhhh she’s hoping the mountain Lion will show up to kill him. I didn’t realize that the first time i read this

“Come out, my dear child, before I become angry with you.” Thanks to @secretly-a-catamount for telling me Thorne was meant to be a warning to children about child predators because now I SEE IT even more clearly than I did earlier

”At that moment, all the power and ferocity of closed motherhood came ripping out of the woods.” YESSIR

GIDEAN TO THE RESCUE!!!

”she was mightily perturbed he hadn’t stayed dead” 💀 😭

yesyesyesyes die rat bastard!!!!! Mr Thorne is dead!!!!! Let’s go!!!!!

LEANDRA!!!!!

Braeden putting together a search party for serafina and sending gidean out ahead is so perfect and wonderful

Am I the only one somewhat perplexed that all Mrs&Mr Vanderbilt did was send down some beds? Like why not give them a proper room even in the servant’s floor or something? Idk

“There are few skills more important than picking good friends.” — Mr Vanderbilt, the man who befriended Mr Thorne 😂

ahhhh I loved this book. I can’t WAIT to reread the rest!

#serafina and the black cloak #Serafina and the black cloak reread #leandra satbc #serafina x braeden #serafina and the splintered heart #serafina and the seven stars #serafina series #serafina and the twisted staff #braeden vanderbilt #rowena fox pemberton #waysa #biltmore estate #george vanderbilt #edith vanderbilt

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 1 year ago

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Last night I photographed a bunch of male Blue Ghosts floating around, searching for flightless females on the ground below. ⁣

I’ve read there are similar bioluminescent beetles in other parts of the world, but this specific species is unique to this region. ⁣

⁣This is 20 back-to-back, 30-second long-exposures of the same spot. In other words, all the light my camera could capture for 10 straight minutes, combined into one image.⁣

⁣And sorry, I do not share blue ghost locations because I have seen too many people shine flashlights on them, try to catch them, etc and I’m not going to be a part of that. I do know people who offer guided tours (which is also great for people unfamiliar with being out in the forest at night), so please feel free to ask me for a referral for that.

[Asheville Pictures in Western North Carolina]

* * * *

19. The Mind is not self-luminous, since it can be seen as an object. This is a further step toward overthrowing the tyranny of the “mind”: the psychic nature of emotion and mental measuring. This psychic self, the personality, claims to be absolute, asserting that life is for it and through it; it seeks to impose on the whole being of man its narrow, materialistic, faithless view of life and the universe; it would clip the wings of the soaring Soul. But the Soul dethrones the tyrant, by perceiving and steadily affirming that the psychic self is no true self at all, not self-luminous, but only an object of observation, watched by the serene eyes of the Spiritual Man.

- Patañjali, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. the Book of the Spiritual Man

[alive on all channels]

#Western North Carolina #Blue Ghosts #lightning bugs #quotes #Patanjali #The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali #alive on all channels

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jayarrarr · 2 years ago

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15 Questions 15 Mutuals

I was tagged by @infamouslyroggylives, but I've stolen Ari's (@betterthannonfiction) formatting because it's infinitely better.

Are you named after anyone?

Absolutely not. In fact, I'm so not named after anyone that my parents originally wanted to name me Amy, but Carter was in the White House at the time, and his daughter's name is Amy, so they scrapped that name because they didn't want anyone to think I was named after her (they named my sister Amy 6 years later when most people had forgotten about President Carter).

2. When was the last time you cried?

It's been a few days, I think. I'm super emotional these weeks.

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. I do live with a 13-year-old though (part of the time, at least). That's enough for me.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Nope, never. Snark? Absolutely. Sarcasm is passive-aggressive and gross.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Whether they seem open or closed off.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue.

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

When you say "happy ending," what are you talking about exactly? Coz that might change my answer.

8. Any special talents?

Any and all talents I have are of the generic variety.

9. Where were you born?

Asheville, North Carolina, USA

10. What are your hobbies?

Music, dancing, reading, coloring

11. Do you have any pets?

Embie's a wee part-Maine Coon cat, somewhere between 10 and 12 years old (she adopted me and I lost track).

Cat Cat's a new addition, just 2 and needy af. He's my baby. He came up to my patio screaming and hasn't stopped screaming since. He plays fetch. I've always wanted a cat who played fetch.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

When I was a kid I did ballet, gymnastics, and cheer until I was about 12. Then I switched to soccer, swimming, and tennis. I am equally mediocre at all of those things.

13. How tall are you?

5'4 (about 162cm)

14. Favorite subject in school?

English and French.

15. Dream job?

Can my dream job be no job? I don't know, I'd kinda like to just live for a living as opposed to exchanging my time to someone else for currency. I'm a terrible capitalist lol. I still haven't given up the idea of starting a Tumblr commune of tiny houses.

______________________

I echo Ari—I don't know if I have 15 active mutuals who haven't already been tagged in this thing. If you wanna do it, consider yourself kissed.

#the tumblr made me do it #tumblr shenanigans #tagged #tbd

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sinceileftyoublog · 2 years ago

Text

Avey Tare Interview: Making Sound And Putting It Together

Photo by Amy Grace

BY JORDAN MAINZER

When you’re listening to Avey Tare solo or even his work with Animal Collective, you’re waiting for that moment: a scream, a jittery melody, chaotic percussion that pans throughout the speakers like ping-pong balls. His latest album, 7s (Domino), has almost none of that. A subdued, reflective affair, 7s was born out of a desire to collaborate. In 2020, Animal Collective had just finished making Time Skiffs remotely, and Dave Portner wanted to channel his creative energy into in-person collaboration. Of course, during the early stages of the pandemic, the inability to (wisely) be in the same room as many others disrupted just about every facet of life, let alone every line of work. Portner, ironically situated in the musical mecca of Asheville, where he’d have a murderer’s row of collaborative choices any other time, felt depressed, and a bit lost. Luckily, he did have Adam McDaniel and Drop of Sun.

Unlike on his past records, Portner went into 7s with very little ideas of how his songs, casually written during 2020, would take shape. During the first week of 2021, he and McDaniel spent three days with achievable goals--a guitar part here, percussion there--and emerged happy even if they only got half done what they set out to do. It’s these initial sketches that inform the aesthetic and ultimate vibe of 7s. The first song Portner had for it was the 9-and-a-half-minute centerpiece “Hey Bog”, originally written to play on his 2019 tour for Cows on Hourglass Pond. Ambient and rubbery, it’s easy to get lost in before strumming and thumping percussion enter, his ethereal, yet outwardly emotive singing combining with the instrumentation to make a sort of New Age acid house. The rest of the songs were sculpted around “Hey Bog”, from the trilling tribute to essential workers and good deeds, “Invisible Darlings”, to the ever-anxious shuffle “Sweeper’s Grin”. Though Portner’s words are devotional and grateful, they’re also extremely uncertain. On “The Musical”, he converses with himself, questioning how he came to be as a musician. The woozy closer “Cloud Stop Rest Start” seems to be one of many moments where he questions humanity’s motives, referring to the impersonal nature of COVID data and inherent, yet unavoidable selfishness of living during a pandemic. “Oh American stranger, is it always like this? Losing things to spikes and the ups and downs?” he sings.

Those ups and downs, albeit of a different type, have continued ever since for Portner. Of course, live music would return about a year and a half later thanks to an unprecedented, life-saving vaccine, but the still volatile nature of COVID would mean Animal Collective had to cancel their EU/UK tour as recently as last October. Time Skiffs and 7s were released last year and this February to critical acclaim, and Portner still finds time to work with McDaniel. “We’ll...just get together and make something and record,” he told me over the phone from his home last month. “He’s always down.” Portner knows that there will be trials and tribulations, but just like his and Animal Collective’s approach to playing live, it seems as though he’s starting to look at everything--studio albums, careers, life, and everything in between--with a sense of wondrous improvisation and honesty, no matter how messy.

Read my conversation with Portner below, edited for length and clarity. Catch Avey Tare at Sleeping Village tomorrow night. Lipsticism, the solo project of local musician and producer Alana Schachtel, opens.

Since I Left You: Animal Collective finished Time Skiffs remotely, and it led to a creative streak for you at a time when people were working by themselves. What specifically for you led to this period of being prolific?

Dave Portner: When I have time around the house or time off from touring, I try to write songs. It’s a big part of my day, my time in the studio, my work. During the transition from 2020 to 2021 in particular, I was getting more and more depressed about being cut off from collaborating musically with people. It’s such a big part of my life. We had planned to record Time Skiffs together in the studio, and that couldn’t happen. [It] isn’t a bad thing in terms of process, but quarantine and 2020 and the pandemic, having me shut in so much and not able to do anything beyond going outside of my studio, led to a lot of cabin fever. I was craving musical collaboration with somebody.

It worked out that Adam McDaniel, my friend, had this studio called Drop of Sun. We just decided to be really relaxed about it. I had a lot of time around the house, so I started writing these songs. [We blocked] off three days at the beginning of January [2021], because I had to get out of my house and into another musical environment. At that time, Drop of Sun was one nice studio room in his basement, and the whole Drop of Sun team was working on building this new studio, which was done by the time we started the mixing stage. But even starting in his basement, it was nice and crucial to be able to bounce ideas off somebody. I didn’t have a huge game plan, just basic structures of songs I wanted to start working on and see where they would go.

SILY: After this time period of less collaboration or remote collaboration, it seems like the journey from the demos to the finished product was pretty seamless. It that true, or were there bumps in the road?

DP: No, it felt really good. We started with three days, and when they ended, we wished we had more time. We had to do other things here and there. Allowing myself to step away from things and go in every day with a goal of, [for instance, “ finish] this guitar part” or a few ideas I wanted to accomplish, [felt] really good. We started wanting to do more and more.

At the beginning, I didn’t know what 7s was. It was just me recording some songs. As we got towards the end, I was still working on “Invisible Darlings” and wanted to get that in the fold. I had “Hey Bog” already, which I wrote in 2019 when I had solo shows and wanted to put new songs into the set. I wanted to record that one for a while. Since I knew it would be a centerpiece, or at least on the record, it was a matter of fitting other songs around it. I think that’s why 7s feels like it has one foot in the past and one foot in the present and future. I wanted everything to feel cohesive and not too random; it was just a matter of building it from the bottom up in Drop of Sun. That’s not usually how I do my solo records. Typically, I’m planning them beforehand when I’m off from Animal Collective, and I know what I want to do. This one was created as we went, even though the songs were kind of written.

SILY: Do you think the casual vibe of the recording made its way into the quality of the songs? “Hey Bog” and “Sweeper’s Grin” are relaxed, reflective, melancholy songs. In other words, did the anomaly in process allow the songs to breathe more?

DP: Definitely. Having a lot of time at home to work on stuff and play them, it was a very introspective time. There were melancholy thoughts that went along with that, and there were happy thoughts, joyous thoughts, anger. Music and making and recording music is often a very cathartic process, especially when I’m doing stuff at my home studio. I’m working through a lot. The same is the case with 7s. I [was] working through the emotions when recording and doing the vocal parts. Some of the vocal parts were written and created as I was recording them. It’s really relaxed working with Adam, because we’re good friends, and at the time, there was nobody else around, so we set our own limits and time and let it feel good. “The Musical” and “Invisible Darlings” had a couple different versions we tried, and having the time to not feel rushed about it helped them because we took the time to really find the place for them.

SILY: This all reminds me of when you sing on “Sweeper’s Grin”, “Happy to be carefree / Do tell.”

DP: It’s kind of a cynical question. Some interpret that as me saying I’m happy to be carefree, but it’s really somebody else saying they’re happy to be carefree, and I’m like, “Oh, really? Do tell.” What’s there to be happy about? The world is crumbling. That’s not my typical worldview or outlook on life, but it comes into my mind sometimes. That side is there, so I want it to be there.

SILY: Is that also why you decided to end the record with “Cloud Stop Rest Start”, a bit more of an uneasy track?

DP: For sure. I also didn’t see that song going anywhere else.

SILY: On “The Musical”, you sing, “I wonder, how is it explained that a person comes into the field of making sound and putting it together.” Was that something you were wondering especially when making 7s? Is that a question you get asked a lot?

DP: I feel like I’ve [lately] been a lot more interested in conversational songwriting. That’s me starting to mess around with that, which isn’t something I’ve done before. I haven’t been so personal about my process of making music and my place in music. Asheville is a musical place. I’m around a lot of musicians, and there’s a lot of history of music with Appalachia, people doing all kinds of stuff. Being in this environment, I have friends that play music for the joy of making music, and they’re not so interested in a record contract.

There are a lot of people in the music industry frustrated or trying to figure it out for themselves. It’s been a transitional period, which I was feeling at the time. I had a lot of thoughts about Animal Collective and 2020 and the pandemic. It was a big shift for us. This wasn’t an attempt to answer those questions, just saying what’s on my mind.

SILY: Last October, Animal Collective cancelled their European tour. It seemed like a reality check for people not in the music industry, to see this very successful band unable to tour for financial reasons. Do you still sort of feel like you’re in that transitional phase?

DP: There were a lot of factors that went into cancelling that tour. In some ways, the band is always in a transitional phase because there are so many things we want to do alone and together. It gets complicated to map out. There’s a need these days to really map out your future in the music industry, and probably in a lot of other fields of work and life. People need to plan far in advance, which is difficult for us, being so spread apart. There’s a lot of complicated things that go into setting up a tour and getting together to practice. There were a lot more hurdles, the fact that COVID was still peaking pretty hard during the tour, and having gone through cancelling shows because two of the band members got COVID, myself being one of them. The risks were just too high. It wasn’t fully because we were in transition, but beyond that, the music industry is in transition. Musicians need to get on the same plane and same field and work together a bit more. I think we can work through the transition to make tours happen and not have these kind of worries, and make everyone who wants to tour able to tour. There are so many musicians and bands out there that want to tour, and because we’re such a name already and people know us, it’s fairly easy for us to get shows. I feel like stepping back and letting newer musicians [step up] is the right thing to do, to let people have their chance. It’s tough these days.

SILY: Do you think something like the Union of Musicians & Allied Workers is a step in achieving more equitable touring?

DP: I think so. There’s a certain state of being and frame of mind. A lot of musicians have different goals. For some, it’s not all about making money. There are many different reasons to do it. That kind of thing is helpful, but I don’t think you’re going to get everybody on the same page. It’s a little bit more than just getting everybody in the same union.

SILY: You just mentioned that you feel like other industries are also in flux, which reminds me to ask: On “Invisible Darlings”, are you singing about essential workers during the pandemic?

DP: I am, yeah. I’m trying to sing about anybody that would go unnoticed in your regular day. It could be an essential worker. There are people in the music industry that do a lot for a band that take a lot of crap, too, or are overlooked when they make the night go as smoothly as the music does. It’s also about people that do simple, good deeds, like holding the door open for someone else or pick up a fallen bag of groceries.

SILY: Is the album title simply a reference to the number of songs on the album?

DP: It is, but 7 is an important number for me. I wanted to have that energy be part of the record once it seemed like 7 songs is the way to go. I usually run with stuff like that on my solo records and Animal Collective records.

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art?

DP: I’m really into collage and trying to take my own visual art in different directions. It’s some sort of landscape, for me, the psychological landscape of the record. You could call it dreamlike, and I’ve referred to it as surreal, even though that’s pretty vague. I’m influenced by the surrealists and [André] Breton’s work.

SILY: Do you think the music on this record is equally influenced by surreal visual artists?

DP: I’m very influenced by visual mediums, film, art that I see that affects me. During the writing and recording of Time Skiffs, I had been reading a lot of surrealist essays, diving deep into the short stories and essays of surrealist writers.

SILY: During recording, do you ever have images projected or displayed to inspire you?

DP: I do. We’ve done that with Animal Collective since Feels. Projections, visual accompaniments. In my own studio, maybe not when recording, but when writing or jamming, I’ll put something from my computer on and let it play. Old cartoons--I was in a real Rocky and Bullwinkle phase. He-Man. Any 50′s/60′s abstract avant-garde stuff. It’s all over the place for me.

SILY: How are you adapting these tracks to a live show as compared to how you’ve adapted past material?

DP: I’m trying to keep the set pretty diverse. I’m playing from all my records. In terms of playing live, I’m never trying to recreate the record. That’s not very interesting to me. A live experience, as a performer, and I hope for the audience, too, should be something different. If you want to listen to the record, you can stay home and listen to the record. There are strengths to [7s], though, that I can’t look past. [I want to keep] pretty true to the vibe of the record. It’s just gonna be me on stage, using sequencers and playing guitar, mostly. I’ll do some acoustic songs. I want it to also feel organic and like a live experience. It’s a balance between finding the strength of the record and feeling like I’m making something as I go.

SILY: What else is next for you and the band?

DP: We’re finishing up a new Animal Collective record. We hope we can put it out this year, but that will depend on our label. I’m finishing the artwork now.

SILY: How did you find the experience scoring The Inspection? Would you do it again in the future?

DP: Definitely. That’s something else we’re trying to wade into more and more and get deep into, being able to do scores and have a reputation as musicians who would like to do that. The Inspection was a positive step in that direction. It got some good attention. It was tough work. It was a challenge to step out of our Animal Collective comfort zone, which is how doing scores is gonna be. It’s a driving factor in our creative communications: We look for challenges, for things outside of ourselves to instigate a change for us. Having a cool film to score is just what we need in that regard. It’s an added creative outlet for us. [We made] a long format video, ODDSAC, with our friend Danny Perez. We’ve always loved psychedelic, horror, and sci-fi films, which is why The Inspection, [a drama based on a true story,] was [even more of] a challenge.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

DP: Right now, I’m reading a collection of short stories called Terminal Boredom by Izumi Suzuki. I’m a big sci-fi fan. Music-wise, it’s all over the place. I’ve been listening to a lot of stuff from my vinyl collection, a lot of older stuff, since I’ve been working on artwork and [that’s] where my turntable is. I listen to a lot of jazz, Chico Hamilton, Eric Dolphy, Sun Ra. When I’m making visual art, I listen to less cohesive, more improvised stuff to get in that zone. I like the record that Eric Copeland and Josh Diamond made last year, Riders on the Storm. Good electronic grooves. I like a record called Felicita by Anadol. It’s a little more out-there, [an] experimental record. A lot of the bands that I have opening for me on tour, Paradot and Anastasia Coope, have music they’ve just put out or [that’s] coming out that I’ve been listening to a lot. That’s why they’re opening up for me.

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