#emhyr var emreis smut

[captainsy-cookiemonster]

The Emperor's Mistress

Summary: Even an emperor has needs that have to be satisfied. 

Pairing: Emhyr Var Emreis (Netflix) x  Iphra (OFC; first person pov)

Warnings: SEX; MDNI!; kinda FwB, lust not love; power imbalance; ring kissing; blowjob, forced deepthroat; condescending; mock sympathy; m multiple orgasm; f orgasm denial; edging; if i missed anything, please let me know

A/N: A huge thank you to @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @thelastsock @the-soot-sprite @littlefreya and @luna-aestas for motivating me through this nearly 2 year process!!! Love you girls so much!!💗💗💗 Netflix Emhyr is a Dilf and he probably has some needs so… I'm not saying this is supposed to be canon, just something my horny brain came up with. Also yes I know he’s evil. But if evil, why sexy? Yeah totally thought of this bc in a class we learned how much influence king’s mistresses had at court. Totally selfindulgent. Fuck, I’m rusty…  Enjoy 😊

Word Count: 3k

Title: The Emperor’s Mistress

Writers live off validation. If you liked it please like, comment and reblog 💕 thank you for reading 💖

I hadn’t seen him around court all day. Not surprising, given the current situation, the preparations in full swing. Through a servant, he had let me know that he is not to be disturbed all day. It is my job, then, to dismiss all the courtiers asking to speak with him. I already knew then that he would come to me tonight.

The light of the setting sun is reflecting in the mirror atop the vanity of where I sit, making my jewellery cast little specks of light to the smooth stone walls of my room. Softest silk caresses my skin as I fix myself up. It could only be a matter of time now until he knocks.

Late this afternoon, the Emperor had then sent the much expected servant to inform me he would visit me tonight. I spent the last two hours getting ready for his Imperial Majesty, bathing in scented oils, dressing in a fine gown, all for his Majesty’s enjoyment. 

I made certain everything would be flawless for his arrival, I even sent for a servant to bring a pitcher of the Emperor’s favourite wine to my quarters. He has been… tense lately, overly stressed, though he does not tell me why. I only see him at night, requiring my presence more often than usual in order to relax. And even then it seemed as if his mind was somewhere far away. But what else was to be expected? He is commanding a war after all.

A knock - the knock -  on my door echoes through my room. The attendant’s way of letting me know his Imperial Majesty would be arriving soon. With a pounding heart, I stand by a table with the wine, ready to welcome Emhyr once he arrives. I wonder about his mood tonight. But I don’t have to wonder for long, as shortly after the attendant knocked, the door flies open. 

Emhyr marches in, and I drop into a deep curtsey.

“My lord.”

But he doesn’t answer. I hold out a goblet to him and he takes it, downing the wine in just a few gulps.

Bad mood.

“How are the preparations going, my lord?” I try to get at least some reaction from him. Anything but this tense silence. “I heard you will be departing in the morning?”

“Iphra,” he sighs, frustration clear in his voice. “This is nothing you should worry your pretty head about.” 

A pause. He holds out the goblet and I refill it. He drinks from it, then sets it down with another sigh. Once he looks back up at me, it’s like he’s a man changed

“Come here.” His voice is calm, cold and commanding. He holds out a hand and when I take it, he tugs me in, so that I almost stumble into him. He pushes my hair out the way and starts to mouthe at my neck, sucking, nipping me occasionally. His breath smells of the wine, his lips leaving a red stain on my skin. One of his hands is splayed out on the small of my back, pulling me in closer, while the other is tugging at the shoulder strap of my dress to free my chest to him. He leaves a trail of wet, open mouthed kisses down my breasts, all while slowly walking me backwards to the bed. 

My back meets the bedpost and I reach behind me to hold onto it, allowing Emhyr to devour my neck, untouched. He doesn’t like it when I hold onto him or even give the slightest indication of where to go. All of this is for his pleasure, not mine. Still, I moan and gasp softly each time his lips find a sweet spot, each time he sucks or nips on it.

Eventually, he pulls back, and takes a step back. He’s breathing heavily, pupils blown, lips kiss-swollen. It is an image of the White Flame only the fewest possess the privilege to see. Not the stern and regal ruler, not the rightful heir who killed the usurper, but a simple man looking for what we all seek: pleasure. 

And then I watch as he begins to unbuckle his belt.

“Allow me,” I purr, getting on my knees in one fluid motion. My hands come up to unbuckle his belt for him, as well as untying his trousers and his boots. Looking up, I see him unfastening his vest, shrugging it off and tossing it to a nearby divan, along with his tunic. I take off his boots, and slide his trousers down, setting them aside on the floor as I look up at him. Bared before me in all his imperial glory, I cannot help but reach to touch his thighs. But he tuts me. I let my hands fall into my lap and cast my eyes down. I know, my eagerness will have consequences.

“You know what to do,” he says, in that calm voice laden with authority, though there is mocking disappointment in it as well.

I only look up again once I feel his left hand outstretched and close to my face. Without question, I take it into both of mine, almost reverently, and touch my lips to the large signet ring, my eyes fluttering shut. It is warm beneath my lips, the gold warmed by his body heat. 

I release a shuddering breath when I pull back. My hands reach for his thighs and this time, he doesn't stop me when they come to rest at their sides. 

"See? You know your place." 

Still that slight mocking in his voice. His hand, the one I had just kissed, touches my chin softly, tilting it up, making me look at him. His fingers continue into my hair as I lean closer to him until my lips meet the tip of his length. 

"Open up, my dear." 

And I do. I open my mouth, just slightly, giving his tip a sloppy kiss and kissing down his length before I come up and take him into my mouth. I start to suckle, humming when he groans. I want to take him deeper, needing to hear him again, but he pulls me back by the hair.

“Patience,” he tuts, and I nod, with his cock in my mouth. I return to suckling him again, just taking the tip and bobbing my head a little, never taking more than half of him. His groans are music to my ears, a reminder why I do this. To please him.

Had I kept my eyes open, I would have seen his hungry look, that suddenly turned into a sinister smirk. But I haven’t. So it takes me by surprise when he yanks me forward by my hair, making me take all of him down my throat. Still, I suck at him devotedly, even if it was getting harder to breathe. My grip on his thighs tightens, nails digging into skin and muscle.

“Is this not what you wanted?” he sneers, holding me in place by my hair. My eyes fill with tears as I look up at him, gagging around his cock. “Did you not want all of me in that greedy mouth of yours?”

I nod, whining. There’s a flicker in his eyes. Something that could almost be interpreted as sympathy. Almost. 

“Is that too much for my little whore?” 

His other hand comes up to pat my cheek, wipe away my tears. But his eyes? Despite the softness of his brow, his eyes remain sinister. He’s mocking me, punishing me for my lack of patience earlier, maybe even for the behaviour of his advisors today. It’s hard to tell, but it is likely.

Finally, he lets go of my hair and I pull back, taking deep gulps of air, my chest heaving with every breath.

But I am leaning in again just as quickly, taking him down my throat while I look up at him.

“You really are a greedy whore, my dear,” Emhyr smirks down at me, tangling his fingers into my hair again, but lets me go at my pace this time. He groans again, and a warm feeling spreads in my belly. 

I hum around him, and feel him twitch on my tongue. 

"I want you to take it all, then. Every drop." 

His thighs tense beneath my fingertips, I know it won't be long now. So I double my efforts, bobbing my head, my tongue toying with his tip. With a groan, he finds his release, and pulls my head in by my hair, so I'm taking all of him, all the way down my throat. I swallow around him, drinking him in, everything he gives me. 

His heavy breaths are music to my ears as I keep licking at him, suckling softly until he's entirely spent. He tugs my head away from his cock by my hair, a hint of a sated smile on his lips. 

"Did I please you, my Lord?” I purr, gazing up at him through my lashes.

“Get up,” comes his response, voice softer now, now that some of his tension has been… relieved. 

I take his graciously offered hand to get on my feet. I should have known. With my hand in his, it is easy for him to push me back against the bedpost, his hands finding my hips, and his lips my chest.

His nimble fingers easily undo the fastening, a single knot, that held my dress together. The fabric pools around my feet, and he steps away, with a satisfied smile. Emhyr walks back over to the table with the wine and pours himself another glass, his eyes wandering over my naked body as he drinks, savouring — so it seems — both the view and the wine. 

After a moment, he must have finished about half of the glass, he starts to move again. But not towards me. I tilt my head slightly, watching him walk straight to the side of the bed. He sets the wine down at the bedside table and moves to lie down in the centre of the bed. Another moment of silence passes, I watch him stroke his cock lazily. 

"Come," he instructs. 

I don't need to be told twice. I push away from the bedpost and crawl up his body, coming to a halt once I'm straddling his hips. Wordless, I lean forward and pepper his chest with kisses, and further up, to his neck. Maybe I forget myself for a moment, but I only stop when I'm just about to kiss his lips, and he puts a finger on mine, just a breath apart. 

"No, Iphra," he whispers.

Right. No kissing. No love, just lust. 

I pull back. "Forgive me, your majesty," I mumble. 

He waves his hand dismissively, before it comes down on my ass with a sting that he soothes by kneading the cheek. My sign to continue. So I do. I get up on my knees and settle on his lap. Tossing my hair behind my back, before I take hold of his cock and stroke it a few times, before I lift my hips and sink down on his shaft. 

We both let out a groan as he fills me, letting out heavy breaths once he's seated in me so perfectly. With his hands on my hips, I begin to move, rocking, feeling the delicious friction he provides. 

“Oh, my lord,” I moan, my hands finding his wrist as I begin to pick up my pace, riding him harder. Looking down at him, I see him watching the spot where we  are joined, the base of his cock glistening with my juices every time I lift my hips. I let go of him, and let myself fall forward, my hands on either side of his ribs now as I double my efforts, a coil already building in my core. His hand moves from my hips up my spine, making me shiver and clench around him, breathy moans leaving my lips as I meet his eyes, his pupils lust-blown, his hair a mess. Beautiful and rare.

His hand finds my hair, gripping a fistful and pulling my head back. Nearly effortlessly, he sits up, pulling me further back as he shifts until I’m on his lap and he’s kneeling below me. I let out a quiet gasp. He’s always in control when we are together. But usually, he would give orders, not take action. It makes my head spin a bit. And then his lips find my neck again, leaving rough, open-mouthed kisses along my sensitive skin. I’m his, for all of the court to see. The mark of my privilege. 

In this new position, his thrusts are even deeper as he rolls his hips up into mine, pulling breathless whimpers from my lips. His groans are hot puffs of air against my neck. 

And then, suddenly, the room spins and I squeal, only to find myself on my back seconds later, feeling the soft bed beneath me. The pillow dips on either side of my head, his hands supporting his weight as he hovers above me. I look up at him, a little out of breath, to find that sexy, sinister smirk on his lips again. And then he starts to move. Deep, long thrusts, the kind he has learned I love. The kind that makes me shatter within minutes; when he grinds his base against my clit, his cock stroking every nerve perfectly. My moans rise in pitch.

“My lord… Emhyr… Oh.”

I am nearing the edge, the coil in my belly tightening. He keeps this pace, my arms wrapping around him, my nails leaving my very own mark on his back.

“Are you close, dear Iphra?” he asks, a bit out of breath himself, but there is something smug in his voice. I can only muster a nod in response, mewling as my walls flutter around him.

“And do you have my permission?”

No.

I gasp, and whine when he pulls back, changing to an even slower pace, his thrusts now shallow. I feel my high slipping away. There’s that smug grin on his face again. Weren’t I so frustrated… He’s a vision, slightly flushed from exhaustion, his hair falling into his face.

He alternates between slow and shallow thrusts, and hard and deep ones. Just enough to make the coil in my belly tighten, only to fade again. I don’t know how long he keeps that up. Sweat is beading on his handsome brow, and I am close to sobbing from this inconsistent, bordering cruel, stimulation.

“Aww, what is it, dear Iphra?” Though he is mocking sympathy, it is obvious in his voice that his restraint is slipping. He’s suffering from this denial just as much as I am. “If you want to come, all you need to do is ask.”

I let out a sob. All this time? I had assumed this was his punishment for trying to kiss his lips - maybe it is…

“Please,” I gasp, nearly unable to form coherent words. 

I can see in his eyes that he wants to say something more, tease me, but he does not. He doesn’t have any patience left for it, to keep up with this. Instead, he shifts to be kneeling more, strong hands lifting my thighs to sit against his sides.

“My lord…” I moan again, my mind unable to muster any other word.

My eyes roll back when he finally moves again, deep thrusts, long, and coming at a fast pace. His movements are so powerful, they make the large four poster bed creak quietly - not that it could be heard between my moans and Emhyr’s groans. The coil in my core is tightening again, growing and burning hotter with every of his thrusts. Not long now. My walls are fluttering around him, clenching, sucking his twitching cock deeper.

It’s all too much. It’s been too long. It’s… It’s… 

“Oh, Emhyr!” I cry out when I finally fall over the edge, my body trembling beneath him. It feels like I’m floating, my ears are ringing. 

He’s relentless, plowing me through my orgasm, desperate to reach his own peak. I can hear it in his groans, he’s close. I let my hands slide down his back, my nails leaving a light trail, and up his chest. I feel him shiver, his hips stutter, and then, with a throaty moan, he spills himself inside of me.

“Ha ha, you, my dear Iphra, you are… incredible,” he rasps between pants as he rides out his high with a few more thrusts, his spent leaking out of me and dripping onto the sheets.

“I aim to please,” I whisper into the quiet room, the silence only disturbed by our heavy breathing. 

Emhyr leans down to rest on his elbows for a moment, his sweaty body covering mine, letting me feel that delicious weight on top of my body. He tucks his face into my neck.

“You smell so sweet.”

It almost feels like he shakes his head, before he lifts himself up and pulls out of me. I whine softly at the loss of fullness, and settle on my side as he lies down, facing me. Both of us are silent for a long moment. It’s what he needs before  his departure in the morning. Blissed-out silence.

There is rarely any softness when we are done. Often, he just gets dressed and leaves. But now, we lie together, still sweaty and out of breath, looking at each other. I let my hand ghost over his chest in a gentle caress.

“Will you ever tell me how you got this scar?” My whisper breaks the silence as I softly touch the jagged scar stretching from his temple to his cheekbone.

I don’t receive an answer. He just smiles; that secretive smile of his, before he turns onto his back and stretches. Once he speaks, it’s like he forgot I ever even asked.

 “I should take you with me. It is a long way to Cintra. I surely could use your… services.”

[laurikarauchscat]

Tentacles #1

Emhyr learns to curb his invasive tendencies once he moves in with Geralt.

The learning curve is sharp, but the witcher's boundaries are now strictly respected.

Illustration of this fic

[astaldis]

ELECTRICAL ATTRACTION

Chapters: 1/1 Words: 100 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Explicit  Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings  Relationships: Emhyr var Emreis/Pikachu  Characters: Emhyr var Emreis, Pikachu  Additional Tags: Human/Monster Romance, Pokemon, Drabble, Blow Job, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, my beloved monster 

Summary:  Emhyr's sexuality is a very secret secret that not even Dijkstra has been able to uncover. Maybe it is better for the spy master's mental health that he hasn't. Caution: Mental health hazard. Uncover Emhyr's most secret secret at your own risk.

[bittersweetbark]

more WIP Wednesday

The stranger groaned quietly and pressed himself up into Geralt’s hand; then Geralt’s shirt tore in the man’s grip, providing further access to Geralt’s chest, which Geralt approved of.

“Eep, so sorry,” said someone behind Geralt and scampered away. Geralt did not care. No-one knew him and also: wasn’t this supposed to be an orgy? Some people were weird.

@laurikarauchscat look it's really really public what they are doing :')

[sinfulpetgirlrd]

So uhhhhhh, no art or anything, just all kinds of smut warning for this because it's Emyhr and Regis smut based on a prompt from one of the servers I'm in... yea... I'm go lol

[queenofyumcha]

The Witcher Netflix's Emhyr Shrine

(RANT INCOMING, NSFW)

Recently finished watching season 3 of the TWN and I took about twenty psychic damage upon seeing what looked like a statue of Emhyr. (S3E8)

one. He looks like a random philosopher. (kinda feels like the statue is mid-shrug saying 'yeah i just invaded the northern realms. what are you going to do about it?')

two. If his men/Impera Brigade have a fan club/gossip sessions, this is the club hangout

three. Uh. my brain immediately went 'hey what if his men fucked him kneeling in front of his own statue? wouldn't that be fun?'

the thought of Emhyr being fucked (desecrated because it’s a SHRINE??) at the base of his own statue is… 🤭 a desperate mess at the foot of the idealised version of him…

And so, like any fanfic writer, I fired up the episode to scour for, ah, details and -

WHAT ARE THESE TABLES, NETFLIX? ARE WE AT A CAR BOOT SALE? THIS IS WHERE THE BUDGET RAN OUT?

(it really irks me that this room looks so low budget because if you were going to imply that the white flame thing is a cult, which fine, I can get behind that for smut reasons, why would they treat their shrine this poorly? surely, it would be richly decorated? this is giving community hall with trestle tables hastily set up for a bake sale!)

no wonder this was the only shot of the whole room!!! it looks so bad!!! it really ruins the immersion!!!

they can't fuck their emperor on that, one thrust and the entire thing collapses!!! think of the health and safety regulations!

(yes, the amount of candles is also an issue but reduce the number of candles and they can have some fun with wax play. what? you're telling me the white flame is afraid of a little hot wax? surely not?

And now I can’t stop thinking about Emhyr having ritual sex in front of his shrine. His men fucking him before they depart to battle like a good luck ritual, Emhyr over sensitised, fucked nearly senseless at the base of his statue, his men kneeling to worship him 🥰🫶

maybe they’re only allowed to fuck their emperor when they win.

maybe Emhyr’s not allowed to get himself off outside of marital sex to create an heir or being fucked senseless on his own altar. (insert flimsy religious reasoning here- orgasms allowed for duty only?)

OH and the flags here look like an afterthought, nilfs, get your shit together and iron those flags!!! during pride month of all things??? why are they propped up on the walls like that? hang em properly! at least emhyr can use them to help clean up i guess, they're not getting more rumpled.

also, the half-arsed stained glass here pisses me off. you can't even see it because there's a little bit at the top of the window and that's it! but that's just me loving the aesthetics of stained glass.

(also, since stained glass in private residences was a way of showing wealth, it would have been really cool to see a depiction of the sun/emhyr/the var emreis lineage/ the empire in stained glass or as a mural!)

and yes, I was trying to get a clear shot of the guards standing behind Emhyr's throne because I'm fully accepting them as Impera Brigade guards.

I do love that Netflix gave the guards stationed near Emhyr unique fancier armour than the other guards in the palace though!

(BUT WHY DID EMHYR NOT GET OTHER OUTFIT CHANGES? HE'S ROYALTY, WHY IS HE LIVING IN PLATE ARMOUR? ALSO, why is he wearing NORMAL TROUSERS with PLATE ARMOUR?)

I did like the roman columns and architecture here though, that was a nice touch but i felt like it didn't quite fit with the rest of the nilfgaardian theme... It just feels like it doesn't belong in this city:

I just... was not a fan. reminded me of brutalist architecture (i can see why they might have been going for that but just didn't like it for nilfgaard) and of mayan temples?? giving house Harkonnen from dune

OH AND THIS THING. This goddamn carriage...

I RECOGNISE THAT THIS IS SUCH A SILLY GRIPE OKAY, such a silly gripe, but I absolutely HATED the carriage Francesca and Fringilla were in. It looked like it was decorated by an amateur drama production. The metal beads, the shoddy paintwork, it looks so CHEAP.

WHY ARE THERE NO WINDOWS? IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD GLASS, JUST MAKE IT SO THERE ARE NO WINDOWS, which would make sense safety-wise for a carriage transporting the queen of the elves and sorceress???

Mimi looked amazing as ever though. Francesca/Fringilla toxic yuri :))) I loved seeing her pop up through the season and I can't wait to see her in S4.

Anyway. All that said, I do genuinely enjoy watching TWN, I appreciate them for making Emhyr so very fuckable even though he looks nothing like what I expected, (why is he so young. and pretty. I like it but. can we take the beard off. please?) and I will be tuning in for the new season.

I'm quite excited for Liam as Geralt, rooting for him.

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

Find Me Naked In My Virgin Misery

(My latest fic. I had to do a cheesy cover pic at least once, sorry 😂)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Relationships: Emhyr var Emreis/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Characters: Emhyr var Emreis, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Additional Tags: Pining, First Time, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Mild Smut  Words: 5,382

Summary: Of all the complicated lovers Geralt ever had, Emhyr var Emreis was the worst. Geralt, pining hard, asks his friends for advice in the matter of love...

Read on AO3.

[of-toussaint]

Notes From Corvo Bianco

Chapter: 2/5

Rating: M (implied/offscreen smut)

Words: 2k (chapter) /5k (total)

Relationships: Regis/Dettlaff/Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer

Summary: The retired life of Geralt and his family, as told through notes, transcripts, and found correspondences.

(read chapter 2 below, or on AO3)

Formal correspondence found on the desk of the chamberlain of Beauclair Palace:  

“To Her Ladyship Anna Henrietta, Duchess of Toussaint, and honored servant of His Highness Emperor Emhyr var Emreis, Deithwen Addan yn Carn aep Morvudd, 

It is with the utmost gratitude that I must thank you for the continued hospitality of your lands and people. My time in your duchy has been a delight beyond words. Thus, I would ask to be allowed to partake of the hospitality you have so warmly extended a while longer. I declare to you that my intention is to remain within your lands for the duration of the savaed, in company with messere Geralt and his gracious family.  

If it pleases you, perhaps we might meet over a meal and a drink, and discuss matters of trade? The continued partnership between our nations is a matter most dear to my heart, as I am certain it must be to your own. I anticipate your response with eagerness.  

Cerys an Craite, Queen of the Skellige Isles” 

(a note is attached atop the letter, in a cultured and flowing hand:)

Sebastian, 

You needn’t bother equivocating to me. I have known Cerys since we were children, and there is simply no conceiving of her having written this letter. Among other things, she would sooner spit than refer to the Emperor by title. No doubt the penning of it was the toil of some unfortunate scribe—I can only imagine the effort required to wrangle her words into something that might pass for diplomacy. It is of little import. Tell the Queen she is to stay as long as she likes, and that I will gladly consent to share a bottle with her... providing she leaves my palace in the same number of pieces as she finds it.  

- Annarietta 

Majordomo’s journal:  

III Blathe 1277

I must admit that, of the many hazards I anticipated when I was first employed by messere Geralt, duels with foreign nobility were not among that list.  

An overabundance of enthusiasm within a group of such vibrant individuals is perhaps to be expected, and I suppose I must only be glad that we ended the night of madama Yennefer’s birthday festivities without any damage more serious than a collapsed fence. And, it must be said, everyone did seem to enjoy themselves tremendously. Though it has been a year since her last visit, the lady Cirilla has slipped effortlessly back into place among us, and of course Queen Cerys is a woman at home wherever she finds herself.  

That the revelries evolved into good-spirited competition over the course of the evening would have been a source solely of delight, had the forces brought to bear in a fit of high spirits by messere Regis and madama Yennefer not resulted in a visit from the ducal guard. These good gentlemen had, alas, never had prior opportunity to visit our little enclave. Thus the sight with which they were greeted appears to have rather overwhelmed and agitated them—a situation which was remedied only by their escort under duress from the premises by messere Dettlaff. Under the best of circumstances, he has little tolerance for either strangers or unexpected guests. As it stood, his patience rapidly reached a breaking point and he removed the pair of guards bodily from the vineyard, by means I shudder to put pen to paper to describe. Suffice it to say that I am grateful never to have given him cause to direct his ire at me; it makes for quite an alarming sight.  

Aside from these matters, there is little enough to report. I received a response from the workmen in the city today regarding my request for an estimate to have the main bedchamber furniture refitted. My previous instincts were accurate with regards to my lady’s opinions of the furnishings. She has made a series of very particular requests for a second armoire, a few commissioned pieces of art, and, as suspected, a larger bed. She assures me that she has discussed these changes to the extent necessary with the gentlemen of the house, and that, as the work pertains not only to her own comfort but theirs as well, she would be pleased to see it made a priority.  

The only other direct contribution to our conversation came in the form of commentary from messere Jaskier. Upon overhearing the exchange, he only added (and here I paraphrase) that he would gladly brave the most cramped of accommodations for the opportunity to sleep by her side. 

Were his exact words not quite so ribald, the sentiment would have been almost intolerably sweet.  

A letter bearing the ducal seal, addressed from the captain of the guard to the estate of Corvo Bianco:  

VII Blathe 1277

“Messere Geralt,  

As regards the domestic disturbance reported to the ducal guard on the eve of Belleteyn, please be advised that we have declined to pursue further investigation into the matter. This decision is contingent upon the incident going unrepeated. While it is your prerogative to behave as you see fit on your lands, it must be reiterated that the guard is honor-bound to respond to the complaints of all members of the duchy. This includes your neighbors. We would ask that in any future bouts of dueling (magical, martial, or otherwise), all parties involved strive to limit the incidence and volume of both shouting and explosions. This remains true regardless of the number of foreign dignitaries involved, or the degree of enthusiasm of the provocation offered by any such esteemed personages. With utmost respect intended, of course, to both yourself and Queen an Craite. 

In service to Her Enlightened Ladyship, 

Damien de la Tour” 

A missive on the letterhead of the camerlengo of Beauclair:  

“ON BEHALF of Her Grace Anna Henrietta, the duchy of Toussaint requests and requires the services of the Witcher SIR GERALT OF RIVIA, in aid of the removal of a blight from Her lands. Apropos of the recent complaint of a BEAST, which did impart molestation most grave upon the persons of two of Her Ladyship’s ducal guardsmen, Her Ladyship demands that this threat be investigated and rendered harmless. Your humble servant has been authorized to make payment for this noble endeavor, enumerable at FIVE HUNDRED CROWNS.” 

Fragment of a reply tucked inside a ledger of accounts in the office of the camerlengo:  

“... about the report of the large, batlike creature picking up and carrying off your guardsmen, you can cancel the contract. You have my word that no such creature remains a threat to the area.  

And just this once, keep the reward. Consider it a donation to the city.” 

A note scrawled in impatient hand, delivered by courier in the small hours of the morning to the private home of the guard-captain:  

“Damien. Next time, warn your junior guards what they’re walking into before they come out to the vineyard. It’s not their fault they had to trek out to investigate a noise complaint (I am sorry about that, dammit). It is your fault they didn’t know exactly who lives out here, and panicked at the sight of a vampire and a sorceress doing a little friendly sparring.  

You and I both know that Dettlaff could’ve done something far more inconvenient to those men than just flying them back into town and dropping them on the roof of the guardsmen’s barracks. I have reminded him of his oath to stay outside the city limits, and asked the camerlengo to drop the contract.  

Train your people. I’d prefer not to do this again. 

Geralt.” 

Transcript of a conversation overheard outside the pantry:  

Malka: … and a queen, too! I’ve never seen so much of royalty.  

Ida: (leaning arms on a bucket, into which she allows potato peelings to fall) Nor me. Saw old Foltest once, passing through Maribor. What a parade! (pensive) For all he were such a queer man, we could’ve done worse. Gods rest his soul. 

M: Aye. Could’ve done better, though, too. Just think of what life must be like, out on the Isles. With a woman like that at the fore! 

I: And the Princess at her side. They do make quite the match, don’t they? Gods, how they dote on each other. To have someone like that! 

M: Seems Ettore dotes on you like that plenty, as though it’d somehow escaped your notice. 

I: (grinning) He’s no highborn lady, but he does all right. Suppose I’ve no complaints. 

M: Out training in the courtyard again this morning, they were. Lovey eyes at each other even over top o’ their swords.  

I: (snorts) No wonders about where the lady Cirilla learned that one. She might not have his blood, but she has more than a little of the witcher about her. 

M: (giggling) Oh, they’re of a pair, that’s certain. Father and daughter, just alike. 

I: I tell you, Malks, the ladies being here has been a boon and no mistake. Even for all the commotion. The smiles on them all. Never seen the whole lot of them so pleased as these past weeks. 

M: (lowering her voice) I saw madama laugh the other day. Laugh! Nothing coy about it, none of her usual reserve. Smiled, too, with all her teeth. When I tell you I nearly died of shock on the spot. 

I: A boon, Malks. Keep a secret? 

M: (delighted) To my grave! What d’you have? 

I: Well, as it happens I was bringing in the washing t’other afternoon with Jean and Eto.  

M: I recall. You spent all morning doing everybody’s linens. Mum says to thank you, by the by, that being a real help to her. 

I: She’s welcome as ever to pay me back with dinner. But to the point, getting all that cloth back indoors took a right age. There was so much of it! Even the lads were struggling with their baskets. And then, neat as you please, who should sidle up to us and take up the spare bundles but the Queen herself? 

M: (laughing) Truly?  

I: On me da’s headstone. Simply strolled along beside us and wouldn’t accept a word to the contrary. She said when you see a task needs a hand lent to it, you lend that hand, whether it be your task or not.  

M: Now that’s a Queen.  

I: That’s what I thought! But that isn’t the secret.  

M: Go on, then.  

I: While we were walking, Jean—the twit—let it slip that we play cards a’nights, out in the loft. I didn’t think much on it at the time, but last night we was out there playing and guess who turned up at full dark, bottle in hand and a grin on her face like a fox in a henhouse? 

M: (staring, openmouthed) She didn’t.

I: Oh, but she very much did. Cleaned Jean out of ten crowns, because that man was born without a speck of sense in his fool head. Malka, it was the most fun we’ve had in ages. Said she’d be back out tonight, with her lady-love in tow.  

M: In all my days, Ida, I would never have pictured it. Sitting at table being beaten at cards by royalty.  

I: You needn’t simply picture it. Join us tonight.  

M: You know? I think I just may. 

An unsigned letter, the parchment stained in one corner by what looks suspiciously like blood:  

XXI Blathe 1277

“Wolf. Been a while. 

Hear you’re still doing well for yourself down there in the South, so clear a patch of floor for a couple of bedrolls. We’ll be passing your way in just under a week. Lambert thinks it’s high time we availed ourselves of your hospitality (and your kitchen), and his lady friend seems to be in agreement. I’m due to meet up with them soon on the Cintran border, and then we’re riding for you. Hope you’re in the mood for houseguests. The last couple of jobs have treated me well... so I think we deserve to put our feet up for a spell.  

E.” 

One of several identical announcements in the topmost post bag, delivered from the palace and addressed to the local nobility:  

XXXI Blathe 1277

"ON BEHALF of Her Gracious Ladyship Annarietta, you are cordially invited to the Palace of Beauclair to celebrate the eve of Midaëte. A feast will be held in honor of the Queen of Skellige, to close her stay in our fair lands and wish her safe roads and swift winds on her travels home. Festivities to commence at sundown. Formal attire, suitable for dancing, is requested.”

[crunadh]

Fic Writer Review

Thank you so much for the tag @do-androids-dream-ao3acc!

1. How many fics on AO3?

3 works - I'm only getting started :)

2. Total AO3 wordcount?

48.349

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Published? Only for The Witcher (Video Game). There might have been a few unpublished ones for Lord of the Rings and Dragonball Z in my youth, though.

4. Top Five By Kudos?

I can only give you the top three for obvious reasons, but here we go:

3. Dark Metinna with 52 kudos (and I'm crying a little over it being last in place, because I consider it the best thing I've written so far)

2. Mellow My Mind with 57 kudos

1. A Cat's Love Language with 93 kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

I always respond to comments! That is mainly because of my own experience as a reader/commenter: when I write a nice and elaborate comment (or even just a nice sentence) and the author doesn't even give me a peep in response, I feel discouraged and unappreciated. To me it feels like screaming into a void and I never want that for any of my readers. So, yes, I will always respond to comments - even if it's just a "thank you". I see you, readers, and I want you to feel seen, too.

6. What's the fic you've written with the angsties ending?

No angsty endings in this house! Only nice and well-rounded endings!

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No, I don't have written a crossover (yet).

8. Have you received hate on a fic?

No, and I'm grateful for it!

9. Do you write smut?

No, I don't. Hinting at it is the furthest I will go in that regard.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. What would be the point of that anyway? *looks at the meagre kudos*

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Unfortunately not.

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I'm not sure that I ever will. My muse is unreliable...to say the least.

13. All time favorite ship?

Emhyr var Emreis x Geralt of Rivia, of course. I write what I like, after all. Although Lambert x Aiden and Dandelion x Geralt of Rivia is a close second and third within the Witcher fandom. Ask me about other fandoms and I will just throw a list at you. I commandeer a whole fleet of ships!

14. What's a WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

I only have one proper WIP right now and I will finish it someday. No promises on when that will be, though.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Especially after publishing Dark Metinna, I'm rather confident to say that it's emotions and plots.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Romance and action scenes. Smut, like stated above.

17. What are your thoughts of writing dialogue in other languages?

I think it's a very useful tool in showing what goes on in a character. Let's take Emhyr var Emreis, for example, who is, for all that we know, bilingual, because he speaks Common and Nilfgaardian. In Dark Metinna I made him drop back into Nilfgaardian on several occasions:

1. To show his emotional turmoil, thus reverting back to his native tongue (to soothe himself, maybe, or because his grip on Common just slips when he's upset)

2. To be able to say things he couldn't say in Common because our dear, uptight Emperor just can't be soft and gentle around Geralt. But the man behind the mask can.

But for all its usefulness, of course, you can't overdo it, or readers might get bored. Still, I love doing this, especially for fantasy languages like Nilfgaardian!

18. First fandom you write for?

Again, if you ask for published fics - The Witcher. If you ask for unpublished fics as well, it's probably The Lord of the Rings.

19. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Without a question it's Dark Metinna. This fic was my bane and my joy for several weeks as it simply poured out of me. I lost sleep because of it. And I'm so ridiculously proud of it: for its plot, for its characters and for the little quirks I could give Emhyr in it.

So it seems I'm almost robbed of people to tag! But a few of my favorite mutuals and writers remain. So @the-butch-of-blaviken @alllthequeenshorses @useless-empty-brain @traumschwinge maybe you are up for it?

[laurikarauchscat]

A chracter staple

Emhyr's perpetually spread legs ...

[astaldis]

For the ask by anonymous (Marina): Emhyr fucks Pikachu 

Chapters: 1/1    Words: 1,348 Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Emhyr var Emreis/Pikachu (mentioned) Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy, Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach, The Hansa | Geralt's Company Members (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Crack Crossover, don't take this seriously, for Marina, Humour, very mild smut, Pokemon

Summary: On their travels through Riverdell, Jaskier finds a strange egg. It is just about to hatch, but what the hell is it? And what the fuck does it have to do with Emhyr var Emreis?

[bittersweetbark]

Eyes wide smut

Now new in finished!

Fandom: The Witcher - Ship: Emhyr/Geralt - Rating: explicit

the anonymous public sex at masquerade Cinderella fic

[inexplicifics]

Do you have any plans for new fics?

I do! I am working on a character study of Jan, the chamberlain; some Milena/Lambert smut; a fic covering what the Witchers who got left behind when Jaskier & Milena & Eskel got kidnapped were up to; and maybe something with Emhyr var Emreis discovering his daughter is, in fact, alive.

...There will probably be other fic after that. We’ll see how things go.

[keyrousse]

1, 5, 7, 15, 22 for the writer ask? :)

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Right now the potential sequel to “Consequences”. I hope the idea will go away, I want to start reading again ;)

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Probably Emhyr var Emreis. :)

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Enthusiastic is probably a too strong word, but I’m not ashamed of writing fics :)

15) why did you start writing?

I just had an idea and had to let it out :). I don’t remember exactly, I started writing stories when I was 10 or 11. 

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

The torture scene in “Appearances” crept me out (I will never write a scene like this again) and I have no idea how smut would go with my writing style, so I haven’t even tried yet.

Thanks for the ask! ❤️❤️❤️ (Get to know your author)

[witcher-bullshit]

Tagging System

Since I just fixed not tagging all of my original posts from the beginning I thought I should make a post about my tagging system for newcomers!

bullshit talks - Everything that was penned by me + asks that I answered (formerly mine, but changed bc of iOS tag ban)

Games - Posts about the games or fanart that uses the games aesthetic, or more generally content that was produced by CDPR

Netflix Show - Posts about TWN or fanart that uses its aesthetic

Books - Posts about the book canon or fanart that uses their aesthetic, if you are looking for content for a specific book search for the UK title

The Hexer - Posts about the 2001/2 film/series or fanart that uses its aesthetic

Comics - This refers to the really old and grotesquely ugly (fight me) comics, but barely comes up

The different mediums are sometimes crosstagged obviously.

Memes - Well... pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes crosstagged with one of the above if it clearly refers to one of the mediums

Character Name - I try to tag every character that is mentioned in a post. I usually try to use the full name (i.e.: Geralt of Rivia and not just Geralt, note: I don’t do so for Regis, Dijkstra, Ciri and Cahir), no titles (so it’s Meve and not Queen Meve, exception: Sir Eyck of Denesle) and if the name is different in Polish and English I usually tag both (like Janek and Johnny, exception: I only use Sheala de Tancarville and not Síle de Tansarville), special case: Duny and Emhyr var Emreis, I tag according to presentation, sometimes both if the post refers to one or the other additionally.

If another franchise (and its characters) is included in a post (crossover headcanons or posts that have various fanarts etc.), it will be tagged, but at times negligently bc I don’t know it or something else

This should comprise the vast majority of reblogged posts, sometimes I add additional tags (but mostly to original posts so it shows up in more tags)

Caution!

1. If you haven’t consumed all of the books (or know this from the games), there will be sometimes massive spoilers. The biggest will be tagged with “The Witcher spoilers”, but I won’t tag every single quote or fanart that’s beyond the scope of the Netflix Show, sorry.

2. I don’t tag ns/fw or trigger warnings. I don’t reblog straight up smut, but sometimes there might be a boob or a lascivious Geralt or something (in short: stuff I deem tasteful not p*rnographic). Since The Witcher is mature content, mature things might come up in discussion or fanart (especially violence, blood, etc), as a rule of thumb: if it comes up in one of the source materials it might come up here, but I won’t reblog pics that have (especially sexual (violence)) shock value. These topics might come up in critical discourse about the source material though!

I hope this helps, you can always message me if you have questions :)

[ao3feed-geralt-jaskier]

by Ghost_wolf2002

Geralt had no idea where Dandelion was, for all he knows, Dandelion could be in Nilfgaard right now trying to fuck a couple of omegas and erase his entire memory of him, or he could be singing songs at bars trying to get by as the hunt continues for this wild beast in Toussaint, but does Geralt really need to worry about what Dandelion was doing right now? no, the omega needed to focus on his studies, but maybe Geralt was certain that Dandelion was up to something shady, he just didn't know what it was, but it made him worry.

Words: 1332, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Broken Bones, Bruises and Bleeding Knuckles

Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski, The Witcher (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: Other

Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy, Triss Merigold, Eskel (The Witcher), Roach (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher), Iorveth (The Witcher), Vernon Roche, Emhyr var Emreis, Dettlaff van der Eretein, Calanthe Fiona Riannon, Vesemir (The Witcher), Valdo Marx, Ermion | Mousesack, Keira Metz, The Wild Hunt (The Witcher), Anna Henrietta | Anarietta, Renfri (The Witcher), Avallac'h | Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha, Philippa Eilhart, Eist Tuirseach, Fringilla Vigo, Other Wiedźmin | The Witcher Character(s)

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel & Triss Merigold, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach/Jaskier | Dandelion, Eredin Bréacc Glas/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eredin Bréacc Glas/Original Female Character(s), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Iorveth, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Lambert, Dettlaff van der Eretein/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Dettlaff van der Eretein/Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy

Additional Tags: Pregnancy, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Abuse, Slavery, Master/Slave, Abduction, Kidnapping, Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Friendship, Drama, Romance, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Explicit Sexual Content, LGBTQ Themes, Smut, Platonic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Fingerfucking, Public Humiliation, Love, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Powers, Slow Build, Royalty, Werewolf Politics, Violence, War