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cyberxilophone · 1 year ago

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Bill always thought that he knew everything about his girlfriend, but one day, after finding a strange folder inside her computer, he realizes that there was much more to Els than he thought. Knowing her most inner desire, the tiger sets out to fulfill his girlfriend's most inner desires.

Bill knew that Els had an odd taste when it came to men. He didn’t even know why she chose to date him considering all she knew about him. His usual modus operandi was to coast off his body to get girls into bed before they realized that dating him wasn’t what they bargained for. He had been getting away with it for so long that when Els finally snapped at him during that fateful day in the academy’s courtyard, it was like the entire world stopped for a second, and everything he knew crumbled.

And then… they were dating. It wasn’t like either of them confessed—it was just a thing that happened naturally without either of them noticing. They graduated, went to the same university, and moved in. Even through all that, Bill still couldn’t put why Els exactly liked him. He had certainly gotten better once he got his ass handed to him physically by Legosi and verbally by her, but there was something else that Bill knew was present but couldn’t decipher.

Well, that was in the past. As he stared at Els’ unlocked computer, he finally got an inkling of why Els seemed to take a particular interest in him above everyone else ever since they were teenagers.

He didn’t mean to look at it. Els just left the computer unlocked as she made her way out of the house in a rush—something about an extra class she was taking a semester ahead of everyone else. For all the trust in the world, when faced with something so tantalizing, it was impossible to resist the temptation of peering inside. Not out of distrust—he knew Els wouldn’t cheat on him—but simple befuddlement. He couldn’t come up to her and ask ‘Hey, what do you see in me?’ because he’d sound as insecure as he would insane—a little sleuthing was preferable for even for as morally dubious as it could be.

Still, rationalizing his choices wouldn’t help him understand what he was seeing on the screen. It was all just one click—a simple look into a folder called ‘body goals’. Els went with him to the gym, so he thought that I would be pictures of those Beastagram influencers that loved to tout their ‘healthy lifestyle’.

What he found was not that.

Dozens if not hundreds of pictures of overweight, shirtless animal men filled the screen—all of them felines. A lot of the photos were a before and after comparison; to the left, a muscular feline with chiseled, muscle limbs—to the right, the same feline now sporting an overweight build that was probably two hundred pounds heavier at the least.

“What the hell…?”

It couldn’t even be something inspirational. The after pics were the ones featuring heavy men proud of their doughy physiques. There wasn’t any hint of shame in their expression. They were confident in their bodies—showing them off to the camera at the most sultry angle they could find. Picture after picture—it all showed the same; rounded-out felines with layers of pudge adorning once-sculpted bodies.

Bill was about to scroll further down, but he heard the door of the front door being slammed made him close the laptop without a second thought. Scurrying to the bed, he flopped down and pulled out his phone to put on an act. Not more than a second after, the door creaked open as Els rushed inside.

“Everything good?” He asked.

“Yeah, just forgot my water bottle.” She then stopped for a second as she looked at her laptop, and then back to Bill. “Everything okay? You look a little nervous.”

“Yeah. Just… some uni shit that’s bothering me. You don’t need to worry about it.”

“Alright, but if you wanna talk about it… we can always tell each other anything, okay?”

“Of course, babe. I know that.”

“Okay. I’ll be going now, then”

Bill felt his heart stop as Els reached for it—right beside the laptop. The silence was palpable, the tiger’s tinnitus ringing to deafening degrees as she seemed to be looking at the laptop. For a second, he thought he was done for and was already thinking of three different excuses to try and save face… but then, she simply picked up the bottle and put it inside her backpack. Only when she turned around without touching the computer did he exhale a breath that he held in fervently.

“Will be back for dinner!”

“Have fun, baby!” He put on his best supportive voice to avert suspicion.

She waved at him before running down to the first floor. He sat still for a few minutes in case Els stepped back inside, but as the sound of the car starting up outside revved up, the tiger finally felt a strange sense of ease. Still, it wasn’t like he had any answers. Questions ran rampant; was it something for body positivity? A strange case of schadenfreude? Maybe even something that correlated to goat culture? Felines had an entire laundry list of strange practices and beliefs, so he could imagine something like that applies to his girlfriend as well… maybe.

“What the fuck do I do…”

Biting down on his finger, his mind raced as explanations surged and went by—all of them feeling unfitting for the situation at hand. He didn’t want to look at the internet; too many articles written by biased idiots who never had an interspecies relationship in his hand. The only thing that seemed to be an effective avenue was asking someone with a similar relationship to his. Bill had someone in mind, and sure, asking them about relationships seemed like the last thing anyone should do, he couldn’t be picky with his options.

“Fuck it.”

///

“So, yeah. That’s what I found.” The tiger said as he set down his drink. He didn’t want to bear the horrendous dog smell inside Legosi’s house, so he settled for a cafe near the hidden condo. “What do you think it means?”

Bill was expecting Legosi to laugh, or at least chide him. He was awaiting any reaction that involved the wolf posturing over him, really. He was such an insufferable prick for so long that someone wanting to rub his fuckups on his face was understandable, which made the way the wolf reacted all the more shocking.

“She has a fetish,” Legosi said bluntly.

“She what?” Bill asked, incredulous. “Nono, you’re like, joking… right? That’s not a real thing!”

“Bill, with these things, I know more about you.” The wolf calmly took a sip out of his teacup before setting it down on the white porcelain plate, making a little ‘clink’ sound as he did. “You spent days scared that you were gonna crush Els’ pelvis with your penis if you had sex with her because you read too many weird porn stories on the internet. You’re not the best judge of character for stuff like this.”

“Not my fault that they don’t teach this shit in school! For all I could know—”

“Yes, yes. Truck inside a garage. You’ve said it a hundred times.”

The wolf rolled his eyes. He had clearly gone through this exact conversation many times before, and while he seemed to revel in Bill’s shocked embarrassment, the tiger could tell that whatever enjoyment he got out of their talks had grown stale. He was serious about what he was saying, and that certainty only deepened Bill’s confusion.

“She has a fetish for fat guys, then? Is that a thing?” Bill placed his thumb on his chin. The thought formed an uncomfortable buzz around his temple—growing stronger the harder he tried to rationalize Els’ presumed tastes. “I mean, I like thicker girls but I’ve never thought of looking at people that big in that way…”

“Well, she seemingly does, and has been for a long time,” Legosi said matter of factly. “Gouhin told me about something similar a long time ago. A baker in the back alley market started dating a customer and began fattening them up. Just offering them free samples and meals even if they said they were full.”

“Dude, what the fuck? Els isn’t like that—”

“He didn’t even know why he was doing it. Has Els offered you like, five meals every day?” Legosi asked, arms crossed and furrowed brow. “She knows what she wants. If she hasn’t done anything, then maybe she’s just shy about it?”

“Even so, would she really be into that?”

“Has she ever pegged you?”

Bill almost choked on his words, face turning red at the question. “None of your business.”

“She does, then…” Legosi hummed. “It makes sense why she would want to do something like that to you. The baker saw it as a form of… dominance. That’s how Gouhin explained it to me.” Legosi then tilted his head, arms crossed. “Or maybe wants to keep it to herself… I mean, I still haven’t told my coworkers that I have a herbivore fetish.”

“And if she wants to, as long as she’s not like, doing it behind my back, I guess that’s not so bad… and by the way, you don’t need to tell ‘em. It’s obvious.” Bill immediately took the chance to dig the jab in. How could he not?

“T-that’s one asking for help the point, and you’re the one asking for help anyways.”

That dumb wolf is so easy to fluster. Hasn’t changed one damn bit. “So, should I approach her about it?”

“No. She’ll probably get scared if you drop it suddenly on her.” Legosi tapped his finger on the table, scrunching up his face for a few seconds. Suddenly, his ears perked straight up and his fur turned frazzled. “Oh!” His tail wagged side to side, brushing the dust on the floor to the side like a giant broom. “Maybe you could kind of… tease it? Maybe if you thread the waters, try to eat more, and see how she reacts.”

“So, I just… eat? And that’s it?”

“Dunno if that would be enough. I mean, you’re strong… So just a bit of food won’t help. The internet’s probably a better guide than I could ever be.”

“What about that doctor guy you used to work under? Gohin?”

“Gouhin.” Legosi corrected. “And he wouldn’t assist you in destroying your body like that. He’s a responsible guy.”

“But it’s my choice!” Bill whined, whiskers flaring up and tail shooting up straight like a rod. Every strand of fur on his body stood up, ire brimming through them like electricity. “I mean, I don’t think that I’m gonna be this hot forever.” He moved his hand across his chest, delineating his pectorals and six-pack through his polo. “I mean, sucks to lose it, but I already made peace with it. If it makes my girl happy, then I don’t see the problem. She gives me some good head, I give her some good softness in return!”

Legosi grimaced as he arched his head away from Bill. “I mean… if you think so. I just hope you don’t do anything dangerous because the internet told you to.” The wolf hummed, swallowing harshly.

Bill could tell that he had something to say, and the tiger was elated that the wolf had gained enough self-awareness through the years to know when to shut it. Pulling out his phone—mostly out of pride and annoyance at the canine’s concern—he began typing down on his phone.

“Check it!” He barked loudly. “See, the internet says that—”

///

Gripping the milk jug with all his might, Bill trekked on and tried to chug down the last bit of the trickling liquid. By now, this song and dance had become a routine for him. He was almost shocked at the speed at which he picked up binging. Sure, he bulked up like every other guy that wanted to be big, but it was never toward this debaucherous degree. Gone were the days when he counted up the specific elements in each meal and supplement. Instead, he just now grabbed the things he liked in the biggest sizes he could find—all with the goal of packing them inside his stomach before Els arrived.

It was a good thing that goats only had a decent sense of smell. Bill was sure that he couldn’t pull off his tricks if she was a canine, because if she was, she’d definitely notice the lingering scent of food when she came home.

The extra course she had every day ended up being a blessing. He could have what was basically an extra meal while she remained in the university building, and then get rid of the evidence by the time she got home.

Finally sensing the last drop of milk fall on his tongue, Bull cocked his head back to bask in the glory of victory. He dropped the plastic jug onto their shared desk—right next to where the laptop that started it all rested—as he kicked back to give his swollen stomach some rest.

“Fuuuuuck…” He mewled, both pain and pleasure tinting his words. His overstretched, taut middle ached and churned as it tried to digest the mountain of food that Bill stuffed into his maw. It wasn’t that big yet—Legosi told him to keep low expectations if he wanted to get as big as the men in the pictures—but he could feel a layer of softness beginning to form around his otherwise hard torso. “Man, this shit’s hard…”

Bill knew that he could just get a small amount of belly and call it even. A lot of people were into it—Pina’s obnoxious, overtly sexual ramblings about Riz’s muscle gut were more than enough evidence—but that probably wouldn’t be enough to get Els’ attention. Even without staring at the photo gallery, he could perfectly picture the way their bodies looked; supple pair of man boobs replacing hard, stony pecs—a belly that hung above their waist and covered part of their groins—rolls of fat that spilled above the waist like molten chocolate dripping across an edged cliff—a chubby face that made them look as threatening as the smallest herbivore—rings of fat around their chins and neck that would jiggle at the smallest of movements.

“So much to go, but I bet that I’m going to—” A burst of pressure surged through his neck. Pressing his lips together and fist on top of them, he tried silencing the blech that almost burst through his mouth. He still wasn't fully accustomed to chugging down so much in such a short time span, and his body was trying its damnest to remind him of that fact. Still, it didn’t mean anything. He was going to grow—grow big enough to have his girlfriend like a meat-starved carnivore. “Mgh… I’m definitely going to get huge.”

///

Bill continued pulling down on the bottom of his shirt. His green polo was just one of many garments that were increasingly struggling to wrap around his growing frame the more days passed. Every few seconds, the cloth rode up to reveal a peek of his belly. He definitely had to get some bigger clothes as soon as possible—XL at the smallest, and Bill wasn’t even wholly sure if that would be enough. The possibility of upgrading to XXL seemed to be a matter of not if but when.

His belly had gone from a perfect curve to a more amorphous shape that spilled out forward. Researching online, it was apparently a ‘dadbod’ look. The fact that he was already looking like his dad before his 30s was definitely giving him some thoughts—both excited and worried. There were some risks, but Els would definitely be into it… there was a reason why leather daddies always looked like this. Not that he’d ever admit to looking at porn on that topic.

Poking it with his claw, he was surprised to see how far he could push his finger in. The newly framed flab around it morphed against the pressure, billowing outwards like a balloon being squeezed. Fuck, I’m already two hundred and fifty pounds, and there’s still so much muscle I need to lose… He never expected the past few months to have progressed so fruitfully, and the euphoria that they brought was equally unexpected. My stomach’s tender… but I’m only just getting a tiny muffin top. Nothing like the pics.

As if his midsection could hear him, it let out a deep, churning grumble. “Hey, babe?” Bill called out, voice on a higher octave than usual. How long would Els realize that he was making a grand show out of the strange manner of foreplay she seemed to desire oh so greatly? It was taking longer than he expected, way longer. Worst of all was that he couldn’t complain to anyone about his predicament. The only thing he could do without blowing his cover was just to swallow his woes with the rest of the food.

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Can I, uh…”

Before this entire ordeal, Bill would always greedily ask for seconds whenever he desired so, but now with so many layers of hidden context from both his end and Els’, a simple question like this one was like threading a tightrope above a chasm of gluttony. “...Get some seconds?” While binging alone was a rush of euphoria, doing so in front of Els—knowing what the goat desired of him—was basically tantamount to stripping in front of her while she kept all her clothes; all the cards kept to his chest while Bill would end up with nothing but his bare body and spirit for her to take.

“Something wrong?”

“No, no! It’s nothing. I was just wondering if you’d give me some seconds. I-uh… didn’t eat that well at lunch.” Of course, that couldn’t be further from the truth; five burgers, fries, and enough soda to kill any diabetic nearby was what composed the absolute feast he had around in the afternoon. Were it not for the fact that he could—for some god-forsaken reason—digest all those calories so quickly, he probably would’ve puked his guts out every day he tried to binge. “In all honesty, I feel like I’m starving.”

Bill put his all into that last word; like a rehearsed script, he had spoken it in front of the mirror countless times to make it as spine-tingling as possible. He at least knew that Els had a strange fascination for his ‘wild’ qualities that her bovine brethren didn’t share, so why not combine those facets with her unearthed desire for a doughy, pillowy man? The weight alone was clearly not the only determined factor, the idea of a fall from grace—fit to fat—was the tantalizing carrot on a stick that Els wanted so viciously that she was ashamed enough to hide it.

“Oh?” Her hand glided over her mouth—a poor measure to hide the smile curving around her face. “I didn’t cook anything, but… I’m more than happy to make something real quick! What do you want!”

She sounds excited… Maybe…

“Maybe some tofu steak? I want something real meaty.”

“Yes!” She squealed, gripping the wooden spoon as her smile beamed itself into a full-on grin. “Oh, oh! I can add mashed potatoes too. I have some gravy in the fridge…”

Without another word from Bill, Els began scurrying through the kitchen to make yet another meal. She hauled out vegetables and gravy from the fridge like a child retrieving toys from the shopping aisle—an almost manic, infectious kind of excitement irradiating from her.

“Thanks, babe!” Bill smiled to himself. His stomach gurgled once again, his body’s ravenous need for food growing stronger day by day. “Maybe she’ll begin noticing soon…”

///

Marking down an ‘X’ on the calendar, Bill let out a breath of contentment. One month since he had completely stopped going to the gym. The lethargy brought by his new lifestyle certainly seeped into his state of mind—a routine that he loved so dearly was now a boring, tiring memory that he never wanted to revisit again. Adding on top of that online classes that were keeping him at home for even longer, it was been impossible for him to resist the perfect storm of temptation.

And in all honesty? He was very glad that he ended up following through. Els seemed to be unable to keep herself off him ever since he fully delved into the path of least resistance. She was brimming with energy—more affectionate and passion-filled than she had ever been through the almost a decade of relationship that they’ve had. She now served him seconds without any sign of him asking, sometimes even making thirds and watching him eat with a massive grin on her face. She did so for all three meals of the day—making sure that her tiger packed as much food as possible.

“Hey, Bill~”

And speaking of the devil, Bill felt himself relax as his girlfriend’s hands planted themselves on his stomach. The first time it happened, Bill felt like his entire brain scrambled from the shock, but now, it was expected of Els to get her hands on his stomach. She treated it like a glorified stress ball—pressing down on his doughy stomach and squeezing the fat folds, much to Bill’s pleasure.

“Hey, baby. You had a good class?”

This time, she went to reach for his love handles. They were now beginning to spill over his waist—a fact that Els continuously reminded him of by grabbing them. The fact that his shirts struggled to wrap around them—the cloth being squeezed between the folds—only made his immeasurable growth all the more apparent. Most people would spiral at the thought of growing so much, but Bill was settling into a comfortable sense of peace with all the extra weight piled on top of his formerly built body.

“It went great! Missed you a lot, though…”

Bill was slowly reaching the threshold of three hundred pounds. Most people in his life were worried sick about his obesity, but the praise that Els threw his way made all the complains and questions nothing but white noise. He could listen to her for hours about how much she loved his doughy body—her compliments enough to turn him into a pile of tiger putty.

His fat frame could only be contained by sweatpants and undershirts. The level of hedonism he had involved himself in to get this big had left him without any shred of want for the outside. He felt comfortable lounging in his chair, effortlessly stuffing his face while wearing nothing but the bare minimum. Once his clothes no longer fit him, he remained in nothing but a pair of spandex boxers that struggled to contain his girth, but complaints from their neighbors made him reluctantly order something online, and so, here he was.

“Well, I’m here now. Do you wanna do anything?”

“You can help me taste-test those cookies I’ve been looking into making. Mom gave me the recipe!”

“You didn’t need to ask twice!” Bill started to rise up from the chest, only for her to push down on his shoulders. “Anything wrong, baby?”

“Well, I didn’t say that you needed to come to the kitchen.” Els teased. “Why don’t you just… sit tight while I bring you the cookies.”

“Breakfast in bed?” Bill smiled tenderly. “I think I’d like that.”

///

The tiger’s soft chest rose up and down, huffing as the great effort to support the pair of moobs atop his belly left him breathless. He could feel them pressing down against his ribs, pinning him down to the bed and leaving him on top of a pool of his own sweat. Just arriving from the bathroom, he could feel his tree trunk legs aching from the walk back.

“Mgh, fuck… We gotta get the bathroom rebuilt so it’s closer…”

He stared at the cable suspended from the ceiling—the only support he had to get up since Els couldn’t push him out of bed by herself. She had definitely tried many times before—with most attempts just devolving into groping fits—but her tiny frame could not pull the titanic tiger mass no matter how hard she tried. Every time he’d pull on the cable to pull himself up, the bed would creak out in relief, and the cable would tense up as the weight shifted.

“Six hundred pounds… mgh…” Bill was thoroughly enjoying his now two-year-long sabbatical, and he planned to prologue it for as long as he could. What else could he possibly want? Els was at his beck and call to feed him and he could indulge in all the vices that he deprived himself of back when he was adamant on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. “Fuck, I’m hungry…”

And just as he could begin himself growing hungry, Bill heard the door creak. Trying to grin with all the weight piling around his face, the tiger beamed at his loving girlfriend and the giant stack of pancakes.

“Ready for your second breakfast, Bill?”

“You betcha, babe…”

#fat belly #fat fur #fat furs #weight gain #writing #furry #furry commissions #bill the tiger #bill beastars #beastars #bels #bill x els #weightgain #els beastars

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coldmail750 · 2 years ago

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While my brain is on this line of thought, a much less significant parallel between these two, but one that is still neat to note, is the nature of their friend circles. Bill and Legoshi both have three friends that they're particularly close to:

A fellow carnivore who they clearly go way back with (Jack for Legoshi, Aoba for Bill)

A small-breed herbivore who will call them out when they're being ridiculous (Haru for Legoshi, Els for Bill)

A smug horned herbivore with a flair for the dramatic (Louis for Legoshi, Pina for Bill)

Maybe at some point I'll try to sort out an essay there - Louis and Pina are an interesting comparison to make and you could possibly argue they're foils to each other too - but that will be for another time.

Back in 2020, when I started really getting into Beastars, I went on a couple long rambles poking at the characters and themes to Discord friends who were also watching the show & reading the manga. While I contemplated posting them here several times, I never really got around to it; at the time I only did things on Tumblr once every few months. Well, since I'm vaguely active on this site at the moment, I figure I might as well finally act on that urge and get at least some of them down here. So here goes, with the first half of the one that started it all:

Carnivore Parallels, part 1 - Legoshi & Bill

There's a particular image of what carnivores, especially large-breed carnivores, should be in the society of Beastars. Large-breed carnivores are expected to be tough, brash, swaggering. They're strong physically and emotionally, they're natural leaders, and they're hungry - in the metaphorical sense of ambition, in the metaphorical sense of sexual appetite, and in the literal sense for meat.

But, at the same time, they are given two very different messages about those expectations.

The first message is that it is natural and right and good for carnivores to be all those things, that they should be proud and embrace them because that's how carnivores are, that's what carnivores are supposed to be, and carnivores who aren't those things are failing somehow.

The second message is the exact opposite - that carnivores being those things makes them bad, dangerous, evil, a threat to those around them, that carnivores should be deeply ashamed of all these things that are supposedly their nature.

At the start of the narrative, Bill and Legoshi are both young adults trying to sort out who they are and what their place in the world is, trying to deal with the fact that they are carnivores and the contradictory messages around that.

Bill, at the start of Beastars, has gone all in on the former message; Legoshi, meanwhile, has gone all in on the latter. But neither course of action is really working out.

At the beginning of his arc, Bill deliberately tries to act with bravado; he plays tough, he's flippant and cocky, he doesn't look before he leaps, he sleeps around, he eats meat, he jumps at the chance to play the leading role in Adler after Louis breaks his leg, so on and so forth. All his life, no doubt, Bill has been told that those things are what define his worth as a carnivore - his strength, his machismo, his ambition - and he has pegged his own self-conception, and self-worth, to being those things.

However, in chapter 48, during the scene with Bill and Aoba (which is unfortunately reduced to a single shot of Bill and Aoba looking sad during the S1 credits in the anime), we get the image that this is not really who Bill is, at least not entirely; that if these actions are a part of him, it's a part he feels obligated to play up severely. He feels the need to act that way, because society tells him he needs to act that way, but he's not comfortable with it. He hates himself for it, even:

That conversation, at least to me, suggests that Bill acts the way he does in the first quarter of the manga because he's has been told his whole life that his worth as a carnivore is based on him being the strongest person in the room, the leader, the tough guy, but at the start of Beastars, Bill isn't any of those things.

Louis is.

So you've got this character who's been told his whole life that these things define his worth as a carnivore, and then he's outdone in a bunch of them by an herbivore, and - since this is early Louis - by this bigoted, domineering, egotistical jerk of an herbivore no less.

As a result, he feels a need to prove himself, both in the sense of "I need to prove myself to those around me" and "I need to prove that I have worth to myself", and he does a bunch of stupid shit without really thinking it through because he's been told that's what carnivores are supposed to do - they're supposed to be tough and strong and brash, right?

Els tells Legoshi that Bill is obviously nervous about playing Adler, but rather than seek help from her, or Aoba and Tao, or anyone else - which would require admitting uncertainty, and by extension weakness - he tries to play tough and dopes himself with rabbit blood. In the manga, he pulls the stunt of attempting to blackmail Louis with Louis’s tragic backstory - a desperate effort to tear asshole deer down a notch. He's obnoxious to Legoshi about Legoshi being a virgin who won't eat meat.

Deep down, Bill hates himself for doing those things, as he admits to Aoba. He feels the need to do those things, to project the image that society expects of him, and he fucking loathes himself for it - a self-loathing he was able to suppress so long as Louis was there to actively twist the knife by, y'know, being early manga Louis, but then Louis runs off to become the godfather, so that stops working.

Chapter 48 also illustrates how deep this sentiment has been burnt in - carnivores are supposed to be strong, and that goes for emotional strength too, and opening up to Aoba about his emotions means he's made himself emotionally vulnerable, so he follows up his admission by immediately trying to play it all off as "gotcha haha totally just joking lol".

As a result, the route that Bill's arc takes over the rest of the manga is him moving away from the idea that his worth as a carnivore, both in his own eyes and the eyes of others, depends on his swagger and his bravado and his appetite, and towards a middle point in between those two messages mentioned earlier; that it is okay for him to not live up to that expectation - that it maybe even makes him more, not less, to do that, that it's okay for him to be gentle, selfless, kind.

By paying for the drinks in chapter 48, Aoba discreetly signals that it's okay for Bill to open up emotionally to him. Els explicitly tells Bill, in chapter 78, that the best side of Bill is when he's looking out for the drama club, for his friends, for her.

We see Bill try to help Tao after the arm incident with Kibi, we see Bill take care of the shock chick, with help from Aoba and some reverse psychology from Pina, and do some legitimate, serious introspection during the process. We see Bill shine as drama club leader amidst the segregation fiasco, when he works to make sure that everyone in the drama club is doing well academically so that the club can stay open and together, and it's times like that when Bill shines the most.

It's slow-going, because it's difficult to overcome something burnt in so deep; Bill still calls himself a "trash cat" who is only good for eating meat in the shock chick chapter; but he does progress along that arc.

Bill's foil in this is Legoshi, who has internalized the exact opposite message - that carnivores are bad and evil for who they are, that they are dangerous, that they should be ashamed of their existence.

Whereas we get basically nothing on Bill's backstory, we get a really clear idea of why Legoshi latched on so hard to the second message - namely, the environment Legoshi was raised in. Gosha is obviously ashamed of the fact that he's venomous and allows himself to be regarded with hatred and suspicion; Leano internalized the message "you're really lucky that you're able to hide the fact that you're a hybrid" to the point where the moment she stopped being able to hide her hybridity she went into total seclusion for years and then committed suicide.

So Legoshi grew up in an environment where the two adult figures in his life were "I deserve to be feared and hated for being venomous" and "I deserve to be feared and hated for being a hybrid", which means it's really not surprising that he ended up ascribing to "I deserve to be feared and hated for being a carnivore" - his upbringing was a recipe for misery and self-loathing. Legoshi believes that he deserves to be hated by others for who he is. As he tells Els:

Or, to use the anime dub's slightly more eloquent phrasing, "feared and hated, that's the story of my life".

Having internalized "these make you a threat", then, Legoshi is deeply ashamed of and actively eschews all the things that Bill, having internalized "these define your worth", seeks out.

He slouches perpetually to hide his height and his strength. He trims his nails obsessively in the hopes of making them look less like claws. He tries to hide his fangs and claws - and freaks out when Louis points out that he's not doing a good job of that. He's on the stage crew, a role which puts him behind the scenes and will bring him no recognition, and actively resents being made to go on stage for the second Adler performance, literally trying to hide behind the whiteboard to avoid getting picked. He's aggressively virginal and he refuses to eat meat.

Legoshi's arc, then, involves him moving towards a more nuanced, middle-ground perspective - in the same general fashion that Bill's does, but in the opposite direction.

Fighting the Shishigumi, fighting Riz, training with Gouhin, working with Yahya, these things teach Legoshi that it is okay for him to fight, to be strong, that his strength is something that can be used for good. To quote Legoshi coming to this realization,

Eating Louis’s leg in order to beat Riz teaches him that it's okay for him to eat meat. His relationship with Haru, extremely slowly, teaches him that it's okay for him to have romantic and sexual desire. He also moves to cast off that "I will lie down and take being feared and hated" mindset - note how Legoshi insists that he and Gosha are going to sit in the front of the restaurant, and Legoshi decides he'd rather fight than take shit from the birds even as Gosha protests that they can just move to the back, in chapter 106.

This is part of why, when Bill and Legoshi meet again around chapter 152, they get along so much better than they did at the start of the story - they're more alike as characters than they were then because they're both moving towards that same middle point.

In summary, Bill and Legoshi are really good foils about the carnivore experience in the world of Beastars, giving depth to both each other and to the setting in which they live.

So that's part one of the carnivore parallels essay, finally out into the world after two years. Part two, which is a little shorter I think, will look at two characters who stand as tragic parallels to these two.

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