#ellie AGGRESSIVELY LOVES HER MUTUALS

[evera-era]

f**k you.

ellie williams x afab!reader

warnings: hate sex, ellie’s rude as shit in the first half, alcohol use, some name-calling, aggressive kissing, fingering, scissoring, brat taming, spanking, edging/overstim… i think thats it

a/n: kinktober’s here! ik im a few hours late guys im sorry. but hopefully this juicyness makes up for it !! wc 3.4k

Ellie couldn’t stand you.

She found you so incredibly annoying, and yet you shared the same friends. Which was the biggest problem, ever.

She never failed to make sure to let you know what she thought of you.

“Hey, idiot. We’re trying to have a conversation. Shut it for once, yeah?”

And you made sure to let her know that the feeling was mutual.

“Suck my dick, Williams.”

And like clockwork, she’d say something along the lines of “Sorry babe. Not into that.”

Truthfully, the two of you had been doing this for a while. This was nothing new. You’d go at eachother back and forth until one of you gets genuinely pissed off. Rinse. Repeat.

Dina hated it because she loves the two of you; she just can’t handle being in a room with both of you at once. Jesse would find it amusing until you and Ellie wouldn’t shut up during a movie.

It didn’t matter what you said or did. Ellie would either laugh, mock, or straight up disagree with you. Even if you stayed quiet and said nothing at all.

“Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

She’d wait for your response, and when you didn’t have one, she’d keep going.

“No seriously. You look like dogshit.”

“Ellie please shut the fuck up.”

It was like she couldn’t ignore you. As if your presence was so incredibly overwhelming, that she just had to react to everything you did. You didn’t get it.

If you met up with the friend group to eat, Ellie somehow “forgot” to get you something. She’d make plans and purposely exclude you. And if you brought it up, she’d tell you to “chill the fuck out, it’s not that serious.”

You hated Ellie. And yet here you were, six feet across from her, sitting on the rug of her living room floor. Dina had insisted on a friendly get-together at Ellie’s, specifically requesting that “you don’t kill eachother.” You told her you’d try, but made no promises.

“Hey, Jesse.” Ellie said. “Could you grab me and Dina another beer?”

“Ellie,” Dina says. “You didn’t even ask if Y/N wanted one.”

“So?” She replies. “She’s a big girl. If she wants another she can get it herself.”

You rolled your eyes. She always did this — talked about you as if you were the dumbest person to ever exist.

“I’m right here, Ellie.” You snap. “I can hear you.”

“I know.” Ellie says. “That’s why I said it.”

“Guys, please.” Dina groans. “Just one night. One good night is all I ask.”

Jesse brings over more bottles. He cracks one open before handing it to you. Ellie stares at you, waiting for Jesse to hand out the rest before speaking.

“It would be easier if I didn’t have to look at her fuckin’ face all night.”

You scoffed. “You know, you’re really cocky for someone who lives in a fucking garage.”

“You’re lucky I even let your ass in this garage.” Ellie mutters. “Probably tracked in a shitton of dirt.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You ask abruptly.

Dina rubs her temples. “Guys—“

“You that stupid?” She questions. “It means I’m gonna have to sweep once you leave. Don’t want your germs gettin’ on my shit.”

“Fuck this. Nope. Not doing this.” Dina says, getting up from the floor. She whips around to face you and Ellie.

“I have tried to ignore the two of you in hopes of having a good time. I have begged you to get along for once. But clearly, none of it’s fucking working!” She throws her hands up. “I’m done. Seriously — come on, Jesse, we’re leaving.”

Jesse thinks for a moment, then shrugs. He begins walking towards the door with his beer in hand.

“Wait, what?” Ellie asks.

“You guys are gonna sit here and sort this shit out.” She says, throwing on her coat. “Until then, me and Jesse are going somewhere else.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Dina—“

“Don’t wanna hear it.” She states as Jesse opens the door for her. “The two of you are smart, figure it out. You can come find us when you’re done.”

“See you,” Is all Jesse says, before pulling the door shut.

You and Ellie look straight ahead.

What the fuck.

Heat rushed to your cheeks. You didn’t know what to do. Dina was obviously pissed, but being left alone with Ellie was the last thing you wanted.

It’s as if she could read your mind.

“Get out.”

You raise your brows. “Excuse me?”

“They left because you don’t know when to shut your mouth,” She says. “And I don’t wanna keep hearing it, so get out.”

Your previous desire to get up and walk out of the door suddenly disappears. You set your drink down.

“No.”

“What?”

“You don’t like me? Great.” You say, kicking your feet back. “I don’t like you either. But I’m not gonna do what you say, when you say it, every single fucking time.”

“Wow.” She takes a sip of beer. “You know, you can be a real bitch sometimes.”

Your eyes flash over to the brunette in less than a second. But she doesn’t budge. Just leans into the couch, legs spread.

“Ellie—“ You begin. “What the fuck is your problem with me?”

She smirks as if you said something funny.

“I’m serious. What the fuck is it?” You repeat, staring intently.

“Are you that dense?” She meets your gaze. “Your attitude. If you couldn’t tell, you have a serious attitude problem. Should really get it checked out.”

It was your turn to laugh. “Like you don’t have an attitude problem.”

“Yeah, but that’s me.”

“Oh,” You nod sarcastically. “Okay. Sure, yeah. Because that makes sense.”

“See? Again with the attitude.”

Silence fills the room as you bite your tongue. The fact that you felt the impulse to respond immediately kind of proved Ellie’s point.

It pissed you off that she was right. You did have a bit of an attitude problem with her. In your defense, she never leaves you alone. You get along just fine with everyone else.

You had given up. You were ready to just go home and tell Dina the truth later. But as you stand up, out of absolutely nowhere, Ellie says:

“It sucks, ‘cause you’re hot. It’s a shame you’ve gotta act like such a fuckin’ brat.”

Were your ears deceiving you? Did Ellie fucking Williams just say that?

You laugh it off and shake your head. “You are truly something else.”

“I’m being serious.” She replies. “You could just sit there and look pretty. Don’t know why you choose to be so damn annoying instead.”

“It would be so nice if you just learned when to shut up, Ellie.”

“You gonna make me?” She says, watching you. You sigh dramatically.

“Didn’t think so.”

The way she was toying with you made your skin run hot. You weren’t sure if she really meant what she said, or if she was just trying to get a rise out of you. Either way, her sweatpants and sports bra combo wasn’t helping; you could feel yourself getting worked up.

“What are you getting at?” You blurt out. “What are you trying to do?”

“I’m not trying to do anything,” She murmurs, looking down then back up again. “Are you?”

You laugh harshly. “What the hell makes you think that?”

“You’re an attention whore,” She answers. “It wouldn’t surprise me.”

The way ‘whore’ rolled off of her tongue was so incredibly casual. And yet, you enjoyed the fact that she was saying it to you. Pigs must be flying. There was no way this was happening.

“I’m not a whore,” You stated.

“Oh?” She says coyly. “I didn’t call you a whore, I called you an attention whore. But you were quick to argue, so now I’m curious.”

You shift your weight to one leg. “I’m not gonna fuck you, Ellie.”

“Yeah? Then why are you still here?”

You felt your neck and ears become incredibly hot. Ellie leans forward, pushing herself up from the couch and faces you.

“I’d be flattered if you said it’s ‘cause you like me as a person, but we both know that’s not true.”

Her eyes were dazed and unwavering. It could’ve been the alcohol, but it also could’ve been the fact that your mini skirt had been riding up your thighs all night.

And as for you, you surprisingly weren’t repulsed. In fact, you liked seeing Ellie like this. If you were sober you might have dipped already, but your legs were heavy and your panties started to feel very constrictive.

“I think…” She begins walking closer. “That you want the exact same thing. You just act like you’re too good for it.”

You could feel your inhibition weakening. You drunkenly stare up at her. “You think I’m not?”

“I know you’re not.” She takes another step. You go to step back, but your heel hits the wall.

“I don’t blame Dina for trying, but we both know we’re not gonna make up.” Another step.

“No?” You whisper.

“Mm-mm.” Her nose was almost brushing up against yours, now.

The eye contact was unmatched. Ellie wasn’t budging, and neither were you.

“I fucking hate what you do to me,” You whispered against her lips.

She smirks. “I fucking love it.”

Immediately, her lips are engulfing yours, with so much damn fervor and need. You curled your fingers in her hair, and tugged down hard. You didn’t care if you hurt her — after all, she deserved it.

Ellie smiles into the kiss, pulling you in closer as a small grunt leaves her lips. Her legs cage you in against the wall as she forces her tongue into your mouth.

You hated her. You hated her. You hated her.

So how was it possible for her to make you feel so goddamn good?

Her hands begin grasping at the hem of your clothes with frustration.

“Fuck, baby.” She moans. “Take this shit off.”

You were compliant at this point; you merely slid your hands under your shirt and did what she said. Ellie presses her head against your chin, whispering a few more curses as she looks at your exposed breasts.

“So fucking hot,” She groans, pressing her lips to your neck. You whined out of pleasure as you pulled her hips closer to you.

“This is so embarrassing.” You mumble, shutting your eyes.

“Mm,” Ellie hums. “Seem to be handling it quite well, though.”

The brunette begins trailing her kisses downwards. You jump at the new sensation.

“Ellie—“

“Shh.” She murmurs, teething dangerously close to your nipple. “Gotta focus.”

When she latches on, your head immediately falls back. You’re practically speechless as she sucks and swirls her tongue around the hardened bud.

You wanted her to keep going, but you were worried. If Dina and Jesse caught you like this…

As for Ellie, she is absolutely shameless in the way she’s going in on your tits. It was clear that she had wanted to do this for a very long time — she was just being a complete ass about it.

She pulls away with a hard ‘pop’ before looking up at you with her green eyes. “Come here,” She says, grabbing your waist and pulling you down with her.

You gasp as the two of you land on the couch. Her hand quickly finds the back of your neck as she kisses you again, bucking gently against you. A soft moan escapes your lips as you pull back.

“What if Dina and Je—“

“Y/N,” She whispers, pulling her shirt over her head. “I’m in front of you, and I wanna fuck you. Please just shut up for once. Alright?”

You blush, looking down at her chest. Her nipples were poking out, hard as rocks. “You’re so fucking mean.”

“You’re fucking mean,” She says, smirking. “Depriving me of this for so damn long.”

“Didn’t think you wanted me,” You slur against her lips.

“Yeah, well… you are pretty fuckin’ annoying.” She huffs, as you lean in to kiss her again. As the minutes pass, you find yourself rolling your hips against hers.

“More,” You say quietly.

“Hm?”

“Want more of you, Ellie.” You sighed, nudging your fingertips under her waistband. “Please.”

She grins before sliding her sweatpants and underwear off. “Only because you said please.”

When your fingers drag down against her clit, she’s wet, and you absentmindedly moan. She sneers, staring up at you.

“What?” You ask.

“Nothing, just… that was the sluttiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

You hum against her skin, gently rubbing your thumb against her hood. “I could be sluttier.”

“Oh yeah?” She responds, grazing her teeth against your jaw.

You drag your fingers from her pussy to your lips, gently engulfing them in your mouth. You keep your eyes on her as you suck her juices off, groaning at the sweet taste.

Ellie’s face becomes that of a pornstar. Her eyes are half-lidded, nearly rolling back as she stifles a moan.

“Holy fuck,” She says, biting down on her lip. Her gaze drops to your lower body, and she begins shoving the fabric of your skirt up.

“What are you doing?” You murmur, watching the skirt bunch around your waist.

“Not gonna waste anymore time,” She explains, tugging at your panties. “I fucking need this pussy.”

You help her remove the undergarment, letting it drop onto the floor. Her hands settle on your ass as you gently lift her leg, lining yourself up against her.

“Fuck yes,” She whispers, watching carefully as you gently slot your cunt against hers.

Her cunt was soft, and incredibly slick and sticky. It takes you a moment to get the right angle before you begin to get a rhythm going.

Once you start speeding up, Ellie practically loses it. She’s breathing like she can’t get enough air.

“Fuck yes.” She repeats, bringing her hand down onto your ass with a hard slap. Her eyes are closed as she scrunches her brows in pleasure. “Holy fucking shit.”

“God,” You moan, sloshing your pussy up against hers. “You’re so wet, Ellie.”

The room becomes one filled with wet noises and moaning. Ellie’s hands are grabbing at everything — your ass, your tits, the couch. She’s in euphoria, seeing stars as she tries not to black out.

“Goddamn,” She mutters. “So fucking good, baby. Doing so fucking good.”

You whimper at the praise, still trying to wrap your head around what was happening. Ellie had been your worst enemy for months, and here you were, bumping clits with her like a fucking slut.

“Shit—“ She grunts, pushing her head back. “I‘m close, ‘m gonna cum.”

“Already?” You joke. “That’s quick, don’t you think?”

She quickly opens her eyes and looks at you. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” You say slyly, slowing down ever so slightly.

She smacks your ass, hard. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

You slow down even more, grinning proudly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ellie.”

“Y/N, you better fucking finish me off.”

“But… ” You whisper in an innocent tone. “We’re having so much fun, right?”

“I swear to—“ She exhales vexedly before sinking her nails into your hips. “Fuck it.”

She sits up, grabbing you forcefully before pushing you down so you’ve switched places. Ellie props your leg up on her shoulder.

“Wanna be a fucking brat? Hm?” She whispers, bringing herself down on your cunt harshly.

You moan in response, goosebumps beginning to form on your arms. You place your hands on her abs, pushing slightly in an attempt to get her to let up.

“Ellie, ‘s too much.” You mewl, as she ruts her pussy against yours.

“Shut up,” She mumbles. “You can take it.”

She keeps you down as she fucks you, ramming herself against your cunt. The sloshing of your clits sends you into a spiral.

“Oh my god, Ellie,” You murmur. “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” She grunts. “You like this?”

You nod, but Ellie places a sharp slap on your boob.

“Answer me.”

“Y-Yeah,” You stammer, trying to grasp reality as the only thing going through your mind is how good her pussy feels on yours.

She uses her hand and grabs your chin, tilting your head up. “You better not fucking cum until I do, you hear me?”

You nod again. “Y-Yes, Ellie.”

The way Ellie scissors is ruthless. She’s concentrated, hair sticking to her forehead as she stares down at you. She watches the way your tits bounce as she fucks herself on you, watching as you beg her to slow down.

Her teeth clench as she nears her orgasm. She looks up at the ceiling before dropping her head back down.

“Fuck, I’m, shit— ‘m getting close.”

“Yeah?” You murmur.

“Uh-huh.” You bring your hand up to her cheek as she maintains her rhythm.

“Wanna cum with you, Ellie. Wanna cum all over your fucking pussy.”

“Fuck,” She says through gritted teeth. “Fuck yes. Keep talking, just like that.”

Ellie knew she wasn’t very far off. But she figured she’d make the most of it, in case this was the last time she got to see you like this.

“So good, Ellie,” You say softly. “Your pussy feels so fuckin’ good.”

“Yeah?” She exhales.

“Mhm,” You murmur. “Best I’ve ever had.”

Ellie’s eyes roll into the back of her head, her moans becoming choppy. She gently holds your foot as she grinds her hips down faster.

As Ellie becomes wetter, you stiffen and feel your stomach tightening. You were getting really close, and she could feel it.

“Y/N,” She says. “I’m—“

“Me too—“ Is all you can say, before drawling out into a moan. Ellie rides you deep into your high, breathing sporadically as she cums, herself.

For a second, the two of you barely move, merely catching your breaths. But eventually your leg starts cramping, and you slide it off her shoulder.

“Holy fuck.” You whisper. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

“I can.” Ellie says, slowly hopping off of you.

“You’re a liar.”

“How?” She says, leaning against the opposite end of the couch. “It was only a matter of time ‘til I got into your pants.”

“Oh,” You scoff. “So it was easy?”

“It was so easy.” She says, smiling. You look at the floor.

“Shut up.” You grin, reaching over to grab your clothes. You slowly put them back on as she copies you.

“Wanna go find Dina and Jesse now?” She questions, pulling her shirt over her head.

“I thought you said we couldn’t,” You say. “Since we weren’t gonna make up.”

“Mm, ‘cause we didn’t.” She states, cocking her head. “I need about three more rounds of this before we re-visit that topic.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You giggle, tossing your jacket at her. She laughs, putting her hands up to shield herself as it hits her.

“I’m kinda serious though,” She says. “You wanna give me head next time? Or…”

You smooth your hair down. “In your dreams, Williams.”

She looks around, contemplating for a moment. “Does that mean I give you head instead?”

“Ellie please shut up now.”

[lillaydee]

A New Life

Jackson! Joel Miller / OFC

Starting a new life with each other in Jackson seemed to be going well, until it didn't.

Word Count: 15,272

Just one more story that I am uploading for practice purposes - I have many, many completed stories to upload, but am not that used to Tumblr yet, so it will take time to upload all of them - I'm not sure I will actually upload all of them, even. Right now, I'm just uploading the shorter ones for practice - just until I get used to the site. I will continue uploading the two series I have started uploading every other day - using those to practice scheduling stuff on Tumblr.

This fic also contains the very first smut I've ever written. I'm notoriously bad at it - I blush when I type smut out, so I apologize in advance if the smut is not smutting.

Thank you for those who have chosen to read my little mind worms. I appreciate you so much - there are no words.

WARNINGS: Mentions of Sexual Assault, Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Communication Failure, Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Angst, Fluff, Non-Smutting Smut, Happy Ending.

They decided to tell Ellie the truth. To say she was infuriated was an understatement, remaining silent throughout the journey back to Jackson. When they walked into the now familiar house. Ellie ran straight upstairs, the aggressive slamming of the door rattling the house, maybe for real, or maybe Joel and Madeleine were too in their heads when it came to the teenager’s wrath at them. Maybe they even deserved it. The two looked at each other, resigned to the teenager’s inevitable mood for the foreseeable future.

“You want to take the master?” Joel asked.

“No, I’ll take the room down here”, Maddie replied.

With that, Joel and Maddie went their separate ways to their respective rooms, closing the doors behind them.

Maddie was bone tired. Funny how the fatigue just set in when your body realized you had finally arrived, safe and sound. She didn’t even bother showering before throwing herself onto the dusty bed. Fuck it, she thought. She slept in the dirt for months. A night or two on a dusty bed wouldn’t hurt her. It seemed Joel and Ellie had the same idea, no sounds of plumbing or running water to be heard. It was sundown, but they could all use the rest. Who cared if they slept for 12 hours? After what they had just been through, they deserved it.

But try as she might, Maddie couldn’t sleep. The room felt suffocating. After almost a year of sleeping out in the open, this felt claustrophobic. Like she was sleeping in a room-sized coffin, but a coffin, nonetheless. She also had gotten used to having Joel and Ellie next to her when sleeping. Now that she was alone, it just felt unsafe, despite the obvious opposite. She tossed and turned, trying to calm her mind enough for sleep to take hold, but her mind kept replaying what happened over the last few days.

How the whole thing didn’t make sense to her, even on the surface. The dilapidated hospital, the lack of staff and resources, the ambitious nature of it all despite the lack of proper procedure and expertise. How could one doctor and two nurses create a cure in these conditions? So, when the doctor confirmed her biggest fear, she reacted. And it seemed Joel found out too, considering he mowed through the entire hospital to get to them. By the time they got out of there, the only people left alive were the three medical professionals, locked in the threadbare operating theatre.

But Ellie couldn’t see it from their point of view, going on and on about how her life was now without purpose, how she could’ve died for something meaningful, how they took that choice away from her. Maddie and Joel kept quiet. They let her say her peace and hoped that one day she would understand how important she had become to them both.

A glance at the clock showed it was nearing midnight. This was getting ridiculous now. Her body was protesting its own indecisiveness. So tired, but too restless and her head too full to sleep. Deciding that rest was vital before she lost her mind, she picked up her pillow and blanket, and went into the living room. Maybe a bigger space will help her breathe easier, and hopefully sleep would claim her. Laying the blanket on the floor, she laid down, looking around the room in the dark. This would be home from now on. She just needed a few days to get used to it, she was sure of it.

Not that time ever made her feel like any place was home anyway. She had spent close to 15 years at the QZ working as a nurse at the FEDRA hospital. But she had never felt at home there, and the fact that she had never agreed with their policies didn’t help. She helped Tess and Joel whenever she could, getting them what they needed from the hospital, helping them make connections so that they could get out when they needed to, keeping a lookout for them, and in return, they helped protect her. But when she was found out, the officer wanted a bribe. Instead of turning her in, maybe he could turn a blind eye, if she would open her legs for him whenever he wanted. When she resisted, he assaulted her, the physical assaults leaving her face black and blue and bloody, eyes so swollen she couldn’t open them properly, the sexual assaults leaving her bleeding, unable to walk for days. She couldn’t leave her apartment for a whole week, and when Tess and Joel found her, they smuggled her out to live with Bill and Frank. For five years, she helped nurse Frank, before finding them in each other’s arms, a goodbye note and a set of instructions on the dining table.

When Joel and Ellie arrived, she decided to go with them, and the rest was history.

A small thud from a pillow thrown next to her own jolted her from her thoughts, Joel standing over her. It seemed he couldn’t sleep either. He laid down next to her, threw his blanket over them both, and now there were two of them unable to sleep instead of one. Their bodies so weary they couldn’t even find the energy to talk, but the unease in their hearts wouldn’t allow them to sleep. After about an hour of them just lying there staring at the ceiling, the stairs creaked. Ellie joined them, lying on Maddie’s other side. Maddie pulled her closer, and covered her with the blanket too, Joel shuffling closer to her on her right.

Within minutes, all three of them were sound asleep.

***

Madeleine spent the next week scrubbing the house top to bottom, Joel fixing whatever needed fixing. Ellie still hadn’t spoken to either of them, spending her time in the backyard cleaning it up. Maria had come by, setting the three of them up with basic needs to start their new life, and jobs for them to contribute. Maddie, obviously, would be helping Dr Marcus Adams at the big house in the center of town used as the clinic. Joel was set up with some constructing duties, as well as patrol, and Ellie was asked to help at the stable after school.

A couple weeks in, the three of them had somewhat settled into a routine. Although Ellie was still obviously extremely angry with the both of them, she stayed close, not knowing anyone in town apart from them. A month in, she had started to make friends, and her silence was replaced by some mumblings letting Joel or Maddie know where she was headed to before storming off, followed by the obligatory slamming of the door. At this point Joel or Maddie had gotten used to her tantrums, both silently agreeing that this was better than her lying dead on that operating table. Joel even made a joke that he should scavenge for new doors just in case she managed to shatter one with all the slamming.

And then there’s the two of them. Their day-to-day life, preparing meals together, doing household chores, dealing with Ellie’s tantrums, felt so right, so normal, that it wasn’t hard to convince herself the three of them were a family. They had breakfast together every day, Ellie storming off as soon as she finished. Joel and Maddie would then follow suit, walking a distance behind her, making sure she arrived at the school safely. Joel would then walk her to the clinic and go to work. After lunch at the mess hall, Maddie would watch from afar to make sure Ellie got to the stable alright, not wanting to suffocate the angry teenager. Joel would then pick her up from work in the evenings, and both of them would wait for Ellie to finish at the stable a distance away before following her home, again, from a distance.

As unconventional as their days as a family were, this was their new normal. They liked it, even Ellie, not that she would ever admit that. It was as if they were her parents. To Maddie, this new routine was as domestic as she had ever felt, and before she knew it, she was seeing Joel in a different light, wondering what it would be like if they were a couple, and if he felt the same for her. But Joel had never shown her any interest beyond the normal protective man that they knew him to be.

Just as he had given a sense of safety and familiarity to Maddie and Ellie, they were also those things to him. And he would be lying if he were to say that Maddie was just someone he had travelled with. But she was a victim of sexual assault, and he wasn’t willing to scare her off by telling her how he felt. So, he took what he could get, and lived his life with her, hoping that she felt the same way, and that they would be together one day. He was comfortable with her, she was familiar, he felt like he could be himself with her.

Things went this way for a while. Over time, Ellie’s anger seemed to dissipate slightly, and she was beginning to talk to Maddie and Joel when the need arose. But being a teenager, she began spending more time with her friends, and wanted her own space. Eventually, she stopped sleeping downstairs, leaving Joel and Maddie alone, both of them still needing the familiarity of each other’s company to rest.

About three months in, Maddie woke up to Joel spooning her, his arms wrapped around her. She sighed contentedly, feeling happier and more rested than she had ever felt. When Joel awoke, he seemed flustered, mumbling his apologies, covering his crotch with the blankets before going upstairs to get ready for the day. For the rest of that week, Joel and Maddie woke up in each other’s arms, but never took it further. Both of them were convinced that the cuddling was accidental, just an unconscious move one of them made in the night. But the domesticity between them increased, standing nearer to each other, letting their shoulders touch when cooking or walking next to each other, fingers brushing against one another, shy smiles exchanged all the time. Ellie noticed, her eyes rolling, but she smirked softly with approval every time the two made eye contact before looking away pink-cheeked and embarrassed.

That day, after dropping Ellie off, Joel asked Maddie if she would go to the Tipsy Bison for a drink with him that night, just the two of them. Joel’s smile was so wide his eyes disappeared, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, his heart close to bursting when she shyly said yes. They continued walking slowly towards the clinic, hands brushing against each other in the process. Joel was having a discussion with himself in his head on whether or not to kiss her on the cheek upon dropping her off at the clinic, when a group of men went running past them towards the clinic, carrying a very bloody man. Maddie looked at Joel, who nodded. She said a quick goodbye before running to the clinic to help.

The rest of that day went by with a blur. The patient had tried to fix his malfunctioning fridge when it shocked him, and his violently seizing body caused it to topple over and crush him. His injuries were severe, and Maddie and Marcus never left his side, staying at the clinic for the next three nights before he stabilized, taking turns sleeping for an hour each at the studio apartment above the clinic.

When Maddie went home days later, Joel was not in the living room sleeping. He had gone upstairs to his own room. Maddie slept in her own room for the first time that night, exhaustion taking her to dreamland within minutes. When she woke up the next day, having slept in later than she normally would, Joel had gone on patrol.

Dinner that night was quieter than usual, Joel exhausted from his long day, Maddie too. Ellie was just rushing through dinner to go to movie night. After they cleaned up, Joel put his jacket on and told Maddie he was going out for a drink before closing the door behind him. Maddie was dumbfounded. What happened to going to the Tipsy Bison together? Did he want her to go with him? Did he ask her, but she didn’t hear? She decided she was going anyway. It was weird to go this long without him.

When she got to the Bison, she searched the room for him or Tommy. She found him almost immediately, sitting at the bar, a drink in his hand, chatting with someone she couldn’t see, his back to her. She walked over, eager to join him, when the crowd parted. He was sitting next to a beautiful redhead, who was animatedly telling him a story. She looked young, probably in her mid-twenties. She was textbook beautiful, with her perfect face and her perfect body in a beautiful wrap dress. Maddie looked at her own reflection in the mirror behind the bar, feeling like she looked at least fifty, and not the mid-forties that she really was, her clothes plain and baggy, hiding her less than perfect body, full of scars from their long journey together. He laughed at her jokes, looking like he’s having a hell of a time. Maddie shook the shock away, walking forward again, when the redhead wrapped her arm around his free hand, and placed her head on his shoulder. Maddie got closer and called his name.

Joel and the redhead turned, Joel quickly pulling his hand away from her hold. The redhead looked her up and down and smiled.

“You must be Madeleine, you’re Joel’s roommate, right?” she asked, her charming smile making Maddie feel like a frumpy old lady.

Joel cleared his throat. “Maddie, this is Vanessa, my patrol partner.”

***

Maddie forced a smile on her face and said hi to Vanessa. Joel pulled the chair on his other side and asked her to join them. But Maddie felt like she was interrupting. She now felt sure that he did not in fact ask her to join him before he left the house. He wanted to be alone with her. And now he was inviting her to join them because he felt bad, or felt he had to. Maddie felt hot all of a sudden, her face flushed with embarrassment. She mumbled some incoherent half-assed excuse about needing to get up early and turned to go home. She heard Joel call after her, but she was too mortified with the realization that she had made up his affection for her in her head that she just bolted. She ran face first into Tommy who asked her to slow down, but she didn’t. She needed to get out of there as soon as she could.

Fuck. What was she thinking? Why the hell would he want to be with some middle-aged old maid such as herself when he could get a Vanessa? Young, beautiful, sexy, sex-on-a-leg Vanessa? Those perky boobs of hers that were close to spilling out of her dress probably didn’t even need bras. Maddie couldn’t get her own boobs to look that perky with the best push up available. He may be in his fifties, but Joel was a good-looking guy, and Maddie had not missed the way the ladies in Jackson giving him fuck-me eyes on the daily. He had always been oblivious to this phenomenon, and Maddie stupidly thought it was because he only cared for her attention, but clearly, she was wrong. Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! How was she supposed to look him in the eyes again?

When she got home, she went straight to her room, not bothering to turn the lights on. Sleep evaded her, her heart hammering away, but the embarrassment she felt earlier was now replaced with something she could not identify. She had never felt like this before. Her heart felt… heavy. The weight of it pressing down on her as she laid on her bed. She turned sideways to ease it, it worked for a while, but returned a few minutes later. After what felt like hours, she heard the front door open, and Joel’s familiar heavy footsteps walked in, the sounds coming closer and closer before stopping at her door. She saw the shadows of his feet in the sliver of light under the door from her dark room. She could hear his hand touching the door handle, but after what felt like hours, she heard him huff a long breath before retreating and going up to his own room. Maddie let go of the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She turned one final time, letting the heaviness play with her mind until sleep took her.

The next morning, Maddie practically shoved food down Ellie’s throat in order to whisk her away to school as soon as possible, terrified of running into Joel. Ellie pushed her hand away, grumbling what her problem was. As they were leaving, she heard Joel’s door open. Maddie grabbed Ellie by the collar and pulled her out the door, literally jogging away from the door. She heard the door open, and Joel’s voice call for them, Ellie stopping to wait for Joel, but Maddie kept pulling.

“What is going on with you? Why are we running from Joel?” she asked.

Before Maddie could answer, Vanessa appeared out of nowhere, colliding with her, the force of it pushing both of them on the ground, Maddie literally eating dirt. Joel ran up, helping Vanessa up, checking she was alright before turning to Maddie, whose lips were now bleeding from her face plant. Joel looked concerned, hand coming up to her face, but before he could do anything, Vanessa piped up,

“I was just on my way to get you. We need to leave now. The patrol from last night didn’t return. I was going to go get Tommy next,” she said, her voice urgent.

Maddie wiped the blood on her lips while Ellie helped her up. Joel looked at her, her lips sans blood now. Maddie said something about being late for work and turned around, pulling Ellie with her. Ellie kept quiet after that, somehow reading that any comments on what just happened wouldn’t be welcomed, especially the fact that Joel helped Vanessa up before her. Maddie felt childish, as if she was reading too much into this. He had reached Vanessa first, so it made sense that he helped her first, right? Of course he would’ve helped her too. Of course he would’ve. He would’ve. He definitely would’ve.

When she got to the clinic, Marcus, who was fast becoming her best friend from all the time they spent alone at the clinic, was already there. He turned to greet her, only for his face to morph into concern at her swollen lips, now bleeding again. He forced her to take a seat, despite her protests, fussing with swabs and ointments to make sure she didn’t need stitches. He gently pried her lips open, looking at them with a small torch, dabbing lightly to see if the bleeding could stop on its own, his left hand holding her cheek.

Someone cleared their throat. The two looked up to see Joel standing in the doorway, his face like thunder. He said something about not knowing what time he would be home that day, and to make sure Ellie got home on time, before abruptly turning around and leaving, the door slammed harder than it should behind him. Marcus looked bewildered for a second, before declaring she didn’t need stitches, but dabbing some ointment on her lips anyway, just to be safe.

When both batches of patrol came back that evening, Maddie was relieved to see Joel unscathed, just tired looking, Vanessa riding next to him, looking like some badass chick coming home from a victorious battle, her red hair looking perfect as ever, an easy smile on her face, which was gazing adoringly at Joel. A few riders from last night’s patrol were injured, so Marcus called Maddie to give him a hand. She felt Joel’s eyes on her but did not dare look. She focused on cleaning the injuries and then preparing the trays and equipment to stitch up the wounds, her and Marcus working well together, fast and efficient.

After what felt like a thousand hours, Maddie was looking forward to going home, taking a shower, having a quick dinner and just sleeping the rest of the night away. She was walking towards the stables to get Ellie, stomach rumbling, when someone called her name. It was Vanessa, running slightly to catch up with her.

“Hey Maddie? I just wanted to say sorry for running into you like that this morning. I was in a hurry and didn’t see you. Are you alright?”

Maddie nodded, so not in the mood to feel inferior right now, and Vanessa just brought that out of her. Vanessa continued almost immediately after the nod,

“Hey, just wondering. You and Joel, you guys are not together, right? He said you were just roommates?”

Maddie felt like her heart was in her throat. She was convinced that if she opened her mouth to answer her heart would fall out. So instead, she shook her head. After all, that’s what she was. She was the woman living in the same house as he, in different rooms in fact. They were roommates. He was her roommate, one she was heavily crushing on, a one-sided imaginary feel-fest starring only her.

“Oh, good. So, you don’t mind that we’re seeing each other, right? It’s just, we spend so much time together and I think we both feel this connection you know? It was just a matter of time. We work well together. But I just thought I should talk to you about it, you know, woman to woman?” she said, her eyes dreamy.

“Isn’t he too old for you?” Maddie said before she could stop herself. Vanessa just scoffed.

“If that’s what old looks like, I guess I have a thing for older men. Plus, he’s not old where it counts, you know what I mean? That man can make me purr, let me tell you that!” she said, giving a cheeky wink before walking away.

Maddie stopped in front of the stable, her legs heavier than lead, her head full of what just happened. So, Joel had a girlfriend now? She couldn’t comprehend it, just a week ago he was flirting with her and asking her out for drinks, and cuddling with her, and now he had a girlfriend?

Maddie heard her name again, this time in Joel’s low tone. It seemed he had the same idea to walk Ellie home from the stable now that he was home earlier than expected.

“What did Vanessa want?” he asked her, his head low, eyes fixed on his feet.

“Nothing,” Maddie said, a little too quickly. “You can walk Ellie home, right? I think I’m gonna go home first.”

“Wait,” he said, his hand wrapped gently around her clenched hand. “I made dinner. Let’s have dinner together? Like we always did? I have something to talk to you about,” he said, his face hopeful.

Maddie so badly wanted to say yes, she had missed him. Missed having a good meal with him and Ellie. But Vanessa’s words were fresh in her mind, and if he was just going to tell her the same thing, she didn’t want to hear it. She got it. He had a girlfriend. All his affections were in her head.

“Actually Joel, I’m not hungry. I’m really tired. I’ll see you around,” she said instead, walking away, prying her hand from his gentle grasp, dying to get away from him before the grumbling in her tummy got loud enough to betray her.

Maddie went to bed with a piece of bread, lying in bed in the dark, willing herself not to cry. The heaviness in her chest was back. What was going on? What was this feeling? Shit. She just wanted it to go away.

After he and Ellie had dinner, Joel went to Maddie’s door, raising his hand to knock, desperate to talk to her. But he couldn’t pretend he didn’t hear her word choice – that she will see him ‘around’ instead of ‘at home'. Deciding not to bother her, he went upstairs and willed himself to sleep.

The next day, while she was mopping the floors in the clinic, Vanessa showed up. Maddie almost sighed out loud in exasperation. She kept popping up on her, like a Jack-in-a-Box, but a really annoyingly beautiful one. Instead, she composed herself and forced a fake smile on her face. Vanessa came up to her, a cheeky look on her face,

“Hey Maddie… so… Joel and I are going on a date tonight, and… well… I live with five other girls you know, and Ellie will be spending the night at Dina’s. I was wondering if you could do me a solid and make yourself scarce for the evening? So, we can have some alone time? Help a girl out?” she begged, a desperate look on her face.

Maddie just stared for a while. There were so many things she wanted to say, but she didn’t want to seem like a scorned woman, so she just smiled and nodded, before picking up the mop bucket and walking to the back room. She heard Vanessa’s delighted “thank you!” behind her, shut the door to the back room, sat down, and buried her face in her hands, the tears flowing freely.

As she laid in the twin bed in the studio apartment above the clinic that night, she couldn’t get the images of Joel and Vanessa together out of her imagination. She didn’t even go home for a change of clothes, worried that if she ran into him, she would turn to stone. She kept picturing them naked, their bodies entwined, their lips locked, their moans loud and echoey throughout the empty house. She hated the fact that she didn’t tell him how she felt earlier, and now it was too late. She cried herself to sleep that night, fully dressed.

The next morning, she was shaken awake by a worried Marcus, who had noticed that the apartment lights were on and went up there, thinking he forgot to switch them off. He asked her what happened, but she was too ashamed to tell him, choosing instead to tell him she was too tired to walk home. He obviously didn’t believe her but chose not to press further. Instead, he waited for her to wash her face, and asked her to go to the mess hall for some breakfast instead. He needed to open the clinic, but a hungry nurse won’t do him any good, he said, pinching her on the chin, making her laugh.

When they walked down together, Marcus’s comforting hand on her shoulder, they came face to face with Joel, who stopped walking, his face the picture of devastation at the sight he was seeing. Maddie wanted to be offended, clocking what he must have thought of the sight. How dare he, when he was the one going on dates and bringing the perfect specimen of a woman home. She was about to express her annoyance, but a very chirpy Vanessa came running, pulling him away, whispering in his ear, before turning around and smiling cheekily at Maddie, winking conspiratorially at her, giving her a thumbs up, as if doing her the biggest favor. Joel kept looking back at the two of them, his face disbelieving, looking crestfallen. Maddie felt her heart clench. She realized that instead of anger, his face just looked so sad. She wanted to go after him and ask him what was wrong, but a flustered looking mother came running to the clinic, her child in her arms who was obviously having difficulty breathing.

So, Maddie put her nurse game face on, and took the child from his mother, and brought him inside for treatment.

***

Joel didn’t sleep at home for almost a week after that day. He would walk Ellie home from the stable in the evenings, made sure she had dinner, and left as soon as Maddie got home. He got home before dawn broke, got ready for his day, and let Maddie handle Ellie in the mornings, preferring to leave for the stables without having to bump into her. Maddie made sure Ellie was never alone at night but chose to sleep at the apartment if Joel was home for the night, deciding that she would rather sew her own ears shut than hear Joel and Vanessa going at it, making sure she was out of the house before she came for the night. She got home a little earlier than expected one day and could hear his moans and groans upstairs and ran out of the house like her life depended on it before she could hear her too. Never again, she thought. Her heart couldn’t take it. Ellie was spending more and more weekends sleeping over at her friends’ places, so Maddie was the only obstacle for the happy couple’s privacy. Maddie did wonder where the two spent their nights when they were not at this house. Vanessa made it clear she had roommates, so they must have found some sort of a sex port somewhere.

Maria came to talk to her one day, asking her if she and Joel were having problems, considering they had not been seen together for a couple of weeks. They were virtually inseparable during the first three months in Jackson, and suddenly it was as if they were strangers. Maria told her she was shocked to hear that Joel was with Vanessa – she had always thought that he and Maddie would end up together. Even Tommy was shocked, but of course, no one dared say anything to the grumpy man, for he was even more stubborn than he was grumpy.

As much as Maddie wanted to own up to her feelings and frustrations, she didn’t want Maria and Tommy blabbing to Joel. If he was happy with Vanessa, then she would like to be happy for him, as much as it was killing her inside. So, Maddie tried to keep the peace. She and Joel simply coexisted, avoiding each other like a dance, while making sure Ellie was taken care of.

But Ellie, oh Ellie. That girl had completely become a typical teenager, always angry, always moody, not that she wasn’t already. Despite letting Joel and Maddie walk her to school and back home daily, she made it quite clear that she was still angry at them for what happened at the hospital, using that as an excuse as to why they didn’t have the right to tell her what she could and couldn’t do, since they had taken her choice away from her. She could sense the unease between the two parental figures, and she was acting out. Maddie caught her smoking once, and when she tried to tell her it was not good for her, she stomped off, yelling that she was not her mother so please fuck off! Joel wasn’t faring any better with her either. He caught her sneaking out late one night, and when confronted, she screamed that he was not her father, and it was not like he was such a good role model, he couldn’t even keep his family together.

So, Maddie and Joel had a sit down, and decided they needed to get their shit together, and work together for Ellie’s sake. They came to an agreement that they needed to stay together, just until Ellie fully settled, so that she didn’t feel alone or left out. Family meals were no longer negotiable, even if no one was talking. Also, no one would be having sleepovers, at home or otherwise for a while, just to get their bearings back. Ellie needed stability, and having every other parental figure out of the house every other night was not helping, neither was her sleeping in different places every weekend. And for Joel and Maddie – whatever they had going on outside of the three of them, stayed out of the house. So, Maddie made it a point to never mention Vanessa to him, and he did the same. They were civil to one another, keeping up appearances for her sake, but when Ellie went to bed, both of them quietly retreated to their own rooms, neither talking to each other, each missing longing looks they each gave the other.

Slowly but surely, their efforts started showing results. Ellie started calming down, making the effort to spend more time with Joel and Maddie, going to movie nights with them, even helping them prepare meals and tending the garden in the backyard, doing her chores, and although she still had her temper tantrums every now and again, she was generally more relaxed, and a lot more cooperative. Everything seemed to be going well. The three of them getting along, their school and work life going great.

Every time Maddie saw Vanessa around town, she was always surrounded by ladies her age – her roommates, Maddie assumed. Vanessa always gave her a sad smile, and her friends would stare at her, annoyance and disgust clear on their faces, before rubbing their hands on Vanessa’s back and walking away as a group. Joel had taken to glaring at Marcus whenever the doc was around, although for the life of her Maddie couldn’t figure out why. But they had agreed not to talk about anything non-related to the three of them, so she kept quiet.

About two months after the new arrangement began, Maddie was taking inventory at the clinic when Vanessa walked in, arms full of medical supplies they had found from that day’s scavenging trip. Maddie thanked her, and immediately began checking the items for leaks and expiry dates.

“So, how’s Ellie doing these days?” Vanessa asked.

“Joel didn’t tell you? She’s doing much better. It’s sweet of you to ask.”

“That’s so great! I am so happy for you guys,” she said. “So, now that Ellie’s doing much better, are you looking for other places to live?”

“Why would I be doing that?” Maddie asked back, genuinely confused at the question.

“Well, now that Ellie’s doing better, do you need to still be living with Joel? I mean, you guys are not together, and he’s with me, so why are you still living with him?” Vanessa questioned; a sweet smile still plastered on her gorgeous, perfect face.

Maddie was taken aback. She had been living there since they moved to Jackson. The three of them came in together, where else would she be living? Unless…

“Did Joel say something?”

“Oh, it’s not my place to say…”

“Vanessa,” Maddie’s voice was stern, looking at Vanessa with a serious face.

Vanessa gave an uncomfortable smile. “It’s just that Joel and I were planning to take our relationship to the next level you know? We completely understood the need for the two of us to slow down when Ellie was acting up, but now that she’s doing better, he mentioned that maybe it would be better if you found a place for yourself so that I can move in with him, maybe start a family of our own,” she said, her hands twisting together, head down, trying to avoid Maddie’s disbelieving eyes.

“I mean, technically I could just move in with you still living there, but we are very loud, and I think he just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable you know? Even when we haven’t been spending nights together, he found ways for us to have alone time - the man is insatiable - so imagine what it would be like if we were to actually live together…” she continued, a sly smile on her face.

“Plus, I think you living there would make him uncomfortable too. He wouldn’t even show me affection in public out of respect for you. People know the three of you came in together, and lots of people believe you guys are together, so he didn’t want to make you feel left out or anything, you know? So, it would be better for all of us if you have your own place.”

Marcus walked in at that moment, having heard what was said, a stern look on his face, and Vanessa excused herself, before turning around and begging Maddie not to say anything to Joel, for he had made her promise not to say anything. As soon as she was gone, Maddie told Marcus she would be right back, and ran home. She had to talk to Joel. Was this what he really wanted? She needed to hear him say it to believe it. When she got home, the door was open, and she can hear Tommy, Maria and Ellie’s voices clearly, along with Joel’s low one.

“Are you sure about this brother?” Tommy asked.

“Isn’t it too soon?” Maria added, “It’s only been a few months…”

“It’s not too soon,” Ellie’s voice interrupted.

Joel’s voice was clear now.

“We have to move on, things cannot stay like this forever. We will talk to Maddie, make her understand. This is good for her. To be independent. We will help her with anything she needs, of course, but she cannot depend on us forever, so, it would be better if she lives on her own. It’s not like she’ll be far, we’re right here,” he said, his voice steady.

There was a long silence.

“Alright, if you think that’s best,” Maria said.

Maddie had heard everything she needed to hear. She turned around and walked back to the clinic. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Sure, he had found someone, but it had only been a couple of months, ten weeks at the most. And just like that she was no longer needed? After everything?

When she got back to the clinic, she broke down. She told Marcus everything. She felt like he was the only person she could talk to about this, everyone else in her life seemed to be conspiring to rid Joel of her, and he seemed more than eager to make that happen too. Marcus held her tight, keeping silent and just being there for her. He offered his spare room, but Marcus didn’t live alone, and Maddie didn’t want to intrude. He then suggested she move into the apartment above the clinic – the apartment was part of the clinic, and staff were allowed to use it at the doctor’s discretion, especially when severely injured patients required 24/7 care, and he wanted her to have it. Plus, he said, it would be better for the town to have the nurse living directly above the clinic, especially for emergency cases at night.

Maddie promised to think about it, but when she got home that evening, she found that she couldn’t even look at Joel in the eyes anymore, knowing he didn’t want her there. She could feel his eyes on her at all times, and she kept bracing herself for him to tell her what she already knew – that he needed her to move out so he can live his happily ever after with Vanessa, Ellie, and however many devastatingly gorgeous children those two annoyingly good-looking people would inevitably have from their super active sex life. So, the next day while the house was empty, with Marcus’s help, she packed what little belonging she had, and moved out.

But she still had Ellie to think about. Ellie still needed stability. And as hurt as she was, she didn’t want to put her own needs before Ellie’s, but at the same time didn’t want Joel to have the satisfaction of knowing that she gave in to their demands – even if he hadn’t had the balls to talk to her about him wanting to move Vanessa in. So, she decided that while Ellie was still adjusting, she would sneak back home early in the mornings to make breakfast and have their morning routine together, go back there as usual for dinner, and sneak back out once Joel had gone up to bed. Anything for Ellie. All Maddie wanted was for the little girl to have as normal a life as she and Joel could give her.

More time passed. Vanessa had asked her again if she had found an alternate living arrangement, confirming to her that Joel had no clue she had moved out. She was a bit hurt by that. Really? He didn’t even notice she didn’t live here anymore? To be fair, she had been keeping up the façade of being there as if nothing had changed shockingly well, and Joel was much too gentlemanly to barge into her now very empty room without permission to discover her little act. But still, Maddie found herself to be annoyed most days now. Even after a whole month since she overheard that conversation, Joel still hadn’t confronted her with it. Still hadn’t told her he would prefer for her to move out. Ugh. Just man up and do it already!

Joel, on the other hand, was still walking around as the resident town grump, even all these months later. He went about his day as if someone was always hiding in the bushes about to attack him, shoulders stiff, a permanent scowl on his face. The only times he seemed a bit relaxed was when talking to Ellie, Maddie or Maria, even Tommy when the younger man wasn’t looking to annoy him. Nothing weird there, though. That’s how he had always been, and it took Maddie and Ellie nursing him back to health, their hands never leaving his during his recovery from that incident in Salt Lake City for him to soften for the two of them.

He walked into the clinic one Saturday, holding his left arm, the sleeve of his flannel soaked in blood. Maddie felt her head freeze at the sight, running to him and pulling him into the treatment room to take a closer look. He let her pull him with her, his face soft and at ease seeing her worried one.

“What the hell happened?” Maddie asked, carefully folding the sleeves up to take a closer look at his arm, internally chastising herself at how desperately worried she sounded. She hated how much she still cared and worried for him, but she couldn’t help herself.

There was a long, deep, jagged gash along his forearm, about four inches in length, and it was bleeding profusely.

“Caught it on some sharp zinc in the garage while clearing it today,” he explained, wincing slightly when Maddie applied saline solution to clean the wound.

“The hell were you doing clearing the garage?” she asked. “You need to learn to rest, old man, you work too much,” she said.

Joel chuckled, a smile on his face, despite the pain that he was in. Maddie continued cleaning the gash thoroughly, being careful not to hurt him too much. Her eyes slightly wet at the thought of him being hurt. Those couple of weeks in Salt Lake City were among the worst days of her life, she and Ellie so worried that he wouldn’t make it. Even if she was a nurse, it wasn’t like they had the supplies to treat him properly. She was glad they were in Jackson now, and she could help tend to his wound as needed.

Joel couldn’t help but stare at her as she worked, stitching his wound up, her face slightly scrunched up in concentration. His heart softened every time he looked at her. She was so close to him right now; he could smell her shampoo. He longed to bury his face in her hair, in her neck, so he could drown in her smell. It took everything in him not to, he shouldn’t. He didn’t have the right to do that. But he missed her smell, the way her body melted into his when they used to sleep in the living room, the way their bodies just magnetize towards each other no matter how they tried not to do that. He missed the talks they would have before they both fall asleep, and most of all, he missed waking up with his face buried in her hair, the back of her neck, or her face in the crook of his, her arm around his waist, and his around her body. But he couldn’t have that now, not anymore. So, he settled for just looking at her, taking in as much of her beautiful face as he could, hoping to God that was enough to help him sleep that night.

When Maddie looked up at him, she found him looking at her, his face so soft, his puppy dog eyes full of yearning. Their faces were so close together, she could see the flecks of amber in his beautiful brown eyes.

“Maddie,” he began, his voice so soft, so careful, his uninjured hand finding her arm, softly stroking it up and down. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…”

Her heart stopped. This was it. He was going to tell her he wanted her to move out.

“Joel!!! What happened???” Vanessa’s shrill voice piped in dramatically, her face full of concern.

Maddie wanted to roll her eyes. Where the heck had she come from? Honestly. They spend five days a week on patrol together, she couldn’t let her be alone with Joel for a few minutes? Sheesh. Instead, Maddie rubbed some antibacterial salve on the stitched wound, and began bandaging it, Vanessa fussing over him as if he was a child. Joel just looked a bit flustered, uncomfortable, even. The grump was back. Gone was the soft Joel. He kept saying he was alright, just a cut, nothing to worry about. He was about to ask Vanessa to give the two of them some privacy, when Marcus came in, wondering what the shrill ruckus was all about.

Joel’s face snapped shut even harder. So did Marcus’s when he saw Joel and Vanessa there. As soon as Maddie stood up, he wrapped his hand around Maddie’s shoulder protectively, concerned at what Maddie must be feeling with those two being there together in her presence. He had spent so much time listening to Maddie pour her heart out regarding those two, and he wasn’t about to allow them to hurt her in his presence.

Vanessa wrapped her arms around Joel’s uninjured arm to leave. Joel’s body resisting, but eventually gave in. But before they could leave, Vanessa turned.

“Are you two going to the Bison tonight? Some of the men are doing a live performance. It should be fun! Will we see the two of you there?” she asked, her arms still wrapped around Joel’s, whose face was unreadable, apart from the murdering of a doctor he was probably plotting in his head.

Maddie couldn’t speak, the lump in her throat getting bigger by the second.

“We’ll be there, wouldn’t miss it,” Marcus said, his arm tightening around Maddie’s shoulder. He didn’t miss the way Joel’s eyes flickered to his arm.

“Great! See you there!” Vanessa chirped, before pulling a reluctant Joel with her.

Maddie let out a shaky breath. Marcus let go of her shoulder, but took her face in his hands, checking to see if she was alright.

“Why did you say we would go tonight? I really don’t feel like going. The last thing I need was to see the two of them slow dancing,” she said with a slight tremble of her lips, her tears threatening to slip out.

“Nope. You are going little nurse lady. You are gonna get all dressed up, you are gonna have a few drinks, loosen up and have fun. I’m gonna make sure you leave the Bison smiling tonight if it’s the last thing I do. Fuck ‘em. We are going to have fun. Full stop. Understood?” he said, his face full of care and determination.

Maddie thought about it for a bit and nodded.

He was right. Fuck the two of them. She was going to have fun tonight.

***

Scissors. Where the fuck were the scissors? Ellie was running around the house, looking in every drawer in the common areas looking for scissors. The ‘new’ shirt she had put on for the live performance at the Bison tonight had an annoyingly long lose thread from the wash, and it was a twenty-year-old shirt to begin with despite it being new to her, so she didn’t want to risk pulling it in case it made the situation worse. Joel had left early, needing to help set up the Bison after promising profusely to be careful with his injured arm. Maddie said she would be going from the clinic. So, the mission to find the scissors was a solo one. She went into Joel’s room, hastily looking around for one, but couldn’t find any. Surely, they must have some scissors somewhere in the house, right? Maddie might have them. She ran downstairs, checking in the drawers in the living room and kitchen once more for good measure, before going into Maddie’s room, completely oblivious to what she was about to be greeted with.

***

Maddie spent the evening at Maria’s, looking for a dress to borrow for the night. She forced herself to only speak of everyday matters, and not about Joel or the fact that she was heartbroken that she was about to see Joel and Vanessa together in a public setting. Maria insisted that she put some make up on her, after all, as a beautiful single woman, she might meet someone at the concert, winking at her with a teasing smile.

“Oh, come on Maria. Who would want an old lady such as myself?” Maddie asked.

“Hey, we are about the same age, and 46 is NOT OLD!” Maria said defensively.

“Maybe it wasn’t old in the before, but nowadays? Fuck that is old,” Maddie’s hands covered her face at the thought.

“Hey, Joel is older, and he found someone. You will too,” Maria said.

“Yeah, a 25-year-old. Guys want younger models. They want a Vanessa. They don’t want a Maddie. I mean, Joel went for someone young enough to be his daughter, and he gets called a stud. If I go for someone young enough to be my son? Imagine the backlash!”

Maria sighed. She could not understand why Joel would go for Vanessa. She and Tommy were shocked when they found out. Tommy spent the rest of that day going on and on about how out of character that was for Joel, to go for someone he hardly knew. Joel was a man of routine, of familiarity. And even though Joel had assured him that he and Maddie were just roommates, Tommy didn’t miss the way his brother looked at Maddie. Even Maria noticed, despite not knowing either of them before their second arrival to Jackson. The husband and wife were sure that Joel would finally step up and ask Maddie out. But when Vanessa told her she and Joel were together, Maria decided against talking to Joel about it, and made Tommy promise to do the same, citing it was none of their business. It wasn’t that hard to believe anyway. They spent all day on patrol together, and Vanessa was a beautiful young woman. Joel was just a man, with eyes and needs, so who were they to question it? She could see how Maddie was broken hearted by this revelation, though. But what could she do? The heart will always want what it wants.

They got ready together, Maddie finally relented to wearing a black and white body fitting Lycra dress that flared into a knee-length flowy skirt below the waist, and begrudgingly allowed Maria to lightly put 20-year-old make up on her face, her hair left to fall free around her shoulders. The two walked arm in arm to the Bison together, the town starting to walk over too. The doors to the Bison were left open, the band set up in the square. Maria found Tommy, who gushed at his wife’s beauty, before giving Maddie a low whistle and a once over. She never got all dressed up, and although feeling uncomfortable with all the attention, she enjoyed feeling like maybe, just MAYBE, she was a little bit beautiful tonight, even if only to herself.

When Joel saw Maddie for the first time that evening, he just about had a heart attack. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. He had always thought she was beautiful, even in her simplicity and no muss no fuss attitude. He had always preferred natural beauty on his ladies, and Maddie just looked stunning tonight.

Joel wasn’t looking too bad himself, despite the wrapped forearm. Maddie’s heart literally skipped a beat when she saw him. Dark jeans, a dark green dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows, the top few buttons undone. Even his usually mussed curls were tamed tonight, he had styled it a little bit. Damn he looked good enough to eat.

Their eyes met across the room. They both smiled, hoping to convey what they were feeling to each other in those smiles. Someone tapped her on her shoulder. Maddie turned around, and came face to face with a stunning looking, perfectly styled Vanessa, her perfect body wrapped in a skintight red dress, her ample cleavage threatening to jump out and eat Maddie alive.

“Oh my God Maddie you came!!!” she said, giving her an exaggerated air kiss on each cheek. “You look beautiful!!” she exclaimed, giving Maddie a once over.

“Thanks Vanessa. You look good too,” Maddie said, slightly crestfallen. Even on her best dressed day, Vanessa managed to make her feel like an underdressed clown.

Joel came over, two drinks in his hands. He extended one of the drinks towards them, his eyes fixed on hers, but before Maddie could even think of taking the drink, it had disappeared from his hand.

“Why thank you handsome,” Vanessa cooed, the drink now in her hand, her free arm linking itself to Joel’s (was that a bit of annoyance on his face?). “You look good tonight,” she added, her easy smile turned very flirty. “Doesn’t Maddie look good too? You should dress up more often you know, you look really nice tonight,” she added, giving her another once over.

“Yeah, she looks beautiful,” Joel said, his eyes still on Maddie, who felt her face go red. “You really do look stunning tonight,” he said to her directly, his eyes soft and dark at the same time. “Would you…”

“There you are Marcus! Will you look at how beautiful Maddie looks tonight?” Vanessa interrupted, arms tightening around Joel’s bicep.

Maddie turned around to see Marcus looking her up and down, his mouth wide open in a big grinny disbelief, his hands wide open at the sight of her.

“Oh my God, you look amazing!” he said, his arms dropped, taking her hands in his. He twirled her around and bent a little to give her a lingering kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, stop it,” Maddie said, faking a shy smile, smacking him on his chest, but kissed him back. “Look at you! You clean up well Dr Adams!” she continued, fake batting her eyelashes at him.

The two laughed cheekily at each other. When they turned around, Maddie was met with Vanessa’s face grinning at the sight in front of her, while Joel… Joel looked like he was about to kill Marcus, the hand around his drink looking suspiciously white from his grip. Marcus ignored Joel’s murderous eyes and pulled Maddie’s hand into his.

“Come on little nurse lady, let’s get you a drink. And then, we are going to dance the night away,” he remarked.

“Bye you two!!!” Vanessa chirped happily, her arm still wrapped around Joel’s, before he pulled it away.

Maddie let herself be pulled away. She was going to have fun tonight, she thought. Nothing will ruin tonight for her, she had been through a hell of a year, a hell of twenty years, in fact, and she deserved to let loose and have fun. So, she had a few drinks, and danced with Marcus. Every now and again, she saw Joel standing somewhere in the room, leaning against a pole or a wall, his eyes always fixed on her, Vanessa right next to him, chatting merrily at whoever was closest to them. She and Maria changed partners for a song or two, Tommy being the goofy dance partner Maddie always thought he would be. But despite having so much fun, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to dance in Joel’s arms, him holding her close again, her face in the crook of his neck, surrounded by his heat and that very Joel smell that she missed so much.

She couldn’t get him alone though, Vanessa always beside him, even though she didn’t see them dance at all. Plus, what were the etiquettes here? Should she ask him to dance? Or wait for him to ask her? Was that an okay thing to do? To dance with the man she was desperately in love with when he had his stunning girlfriend clinging to him like a leech? Sheesh Vanessa, honestly. Was she capable of leaving his side for a second? We all got it, Vanessa, message received loud and clear. You were with Joel. No need to stay clamped to him like that all night. She resigned herself to the fact that she would not be dancing with him and pulled Maria to the bar for more drinks.

Joel couldn’t take his eyes off Maddie even for a second. His heart filled with longing to go over and ask Maddie for a dance, but she was always with Marcus, and even Tommy took a turn or two dancing with her (damn him, damn them both!). And Vanessa wouldn’t leave his side even for a second, and no matter how much she batted her eyelashes at him and begged him for a dance, he just didn’t feel like it. The woman he wanted to dance with was dancing with the annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor, not him, the resident town grump. The annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor whom she spent all her working days with. The annoyingly good-looking, charming town doctor whose hands saved lives, unlike his. The annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor who spent the evening expertly and effortlessly twirling her around the dance floor like he was some ballroom dancing expert, while Joel couldn’t even convince himself that he would be able to dance with her without looking at or stepping on his own feet, let alone hers.

When Vanessa finally left his side to go to the bathroom, Joel decided he needed to act and ask Maddie for a dance. But he would be a gentleman about it and ask Marcus for permission first. After all, Maddie was his friend first. They came to town together. They had been living together since they arrived here. They had all this history together. It shouldn’t be weird if they danced together, right? So, Joel made his way towards Marcus, determined to be polite and ask the annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor if he would mind letting him, the resident town grump Joel Miller, to ask his lady for a dance. He got to Marcus, who was chatting with Tommy, drink in hand, and gathered up the courage to ask him the dreaded question. But Marcus’s attention was suddenly distracted by a man who had just entered the pub, looking exhausted, obviously just in from patrol.

“Hey, you made it,” Marcus said, smiling happily before greeting the man with a hug and a sweet peck on the lips. “I don’t know if you two had met. Francis, this is Joel. Joel, this is my husband Francis,” he said.

Joel had seen Francis around before. He was the leader of one of the patrol teams, but since Joel led another team, they had never worked together. He took Francis’s outstretched hand and shook it, commenting that he had seen him around town…

…wait… HUSBAND?

“You’re gay?” Joel couldn’t stop himself from asking incredulously, while Tommy choked on his drink.

“Er… yeah… is that a problem?” Marcus hesitantly asked back.

Tommy and Francis stood there looking at the confused resident town grump and the perplexed, annoyingly good-looking and charming town doctor.

“No, of course not, I just didn’t know. Wait… does Maddie know you’re gay?” Joel asked again, unable to hide the confusion on his face.

“Of course she does. She’s my best friend, I tell her everything,” Marcus said, almost laughingly.

“But I thought…” and Joel’s thoughts remained a mystery when a teenager’s carefully aimed shoe made contact with his head, jolting all four grown men out of the discussion that was not meant to be had at that exact time.

All four men spun around to look at the source of the well-aimed shoe, Joel rubbing his head, only to be met by an extremely angry and hostile looking Ellie.

“What the fuck did you do old man? What did you fucking say to her?” she screamed, launching herself at him, smacking him everywhere she could reach.

Despite the merry music playing, the bar went quiet, everyone staring at the newly unfolding drama.

“What are you talking about? What did I do? What did I say to whom?” Joel asked, fending off her smacks, before bending down to pick up her weapon of choice.

“Maddie! She’s moved out! Her room’s all empty! What did you say to her? Did you chase her out? How could you do that?” she raised her arm to smack him again, but Joel held her hand to stop her.

“Maddie moved out? When?” he asked. He turned around, saw Maddie and Maria, back from the bar with drinks in their hands.

“You moved out?” he asked her, his face disbelieving, hurt, betrayed.

“Okay let’s all calm down and take this outside, shall we?” Maria said calmly, her town mayor persona taking over, taking Maddie’s drink from her hand, passing both their glasses to someone before ushering a stunned Joel and a stone-faced Maddie outside. Tommy took Ellie by the shoulder, doing the same, and Marcus and Francis followed.

Once they were further away from the music, they all stood around awkwardly, before Joel piped up again.

“You moved out?” he asked Maddie again, genuinely unable to believe what he had just heard.

Maddie kept looking at the ground, unable to look him in the eyes. Marcus went to her side, holding her close to him. She nodded slowly, eyes still on the ground.

“Why?”

Maddie finally looked up, annoyed that he had the gall to ask that question.

“Isn’t that what you wanted? I overheard you, Joel. And Vanessa told me. I know all of it Joel. Just because you didn’t have the balls to tell me doesn’t mean I don’t know what is going on,” she said, her voice shaking slightly with anger.

“What are you talking about? What did you overhear? What did Vanessa tell you?”

Maddie scoffed. Unbelievable.

“I know you wanted me out of the house, Joel. I heard you two talking with Tommy and Maria,” she said, looking at Joel and Ellie, her face now contorted, tears threatening to spill out.

“Wait, what?” Maria spoke up. “He never told us he wanted you out,” she continued. Tommy, confusion on his face, also shook his head no. Even Ellie looked confused.

“I heard you guys. You wanted me out. It was good for me. I shouldn’t depend on you forever. I should be independent,” her tears falling now.

A flash of understanding came across the four faces in front of her.

“That was about me,” Ellie said. “I asked Joel if he and Tommy could fix the garage up for me, so I can live there by myself, have a space of my own. That way I don’t have to depend on you two forever,” she explained.

“I was clearing it out today, finally have some time to get started,” Joel added, showing her his bandaged arm, “I was gonna talk to you about it when we had some time alone.”

“Wait a minute,” Marcus interjected. “I was there. I heard Vanessa said you wanted Maddie to move out so that she can move in with you.”

“Why the fuck would I want my patrol partner to move in with me?” Joel looked at Marcus like he was speaking in some foreign language.

Now everyone in that group just looked extremely confused, looking at Joel like he had three heads. Why would Joel call his girlfriend his patrol partner? Sure, that’s who she was too, but that’s just weird. Joel now felt like he was the new kid in school, on his first day, where everyone knew something that he didn’t. Someone said Joel’s name amidst the confusing, uncomfortable silence. The group turned around, Vanessa approaching, a nervous smile on her face.

“What’s going on here? Are we moving the party to the back alley now?” she asked, her face filled with uncertainty, but still smiling, her arm snaking around Joel’s.

Joel snatched his arm away. He turned to face her fully, his face serious, her smile faltering.

“Vanessa, what the fuck have you been telling everyone?”

***

“What do you mean, Joel?” Vanessa asked sweetly, her face looking like she would rather be anywhere else but there at the moment, “I didn’t say anything to anyone…”

“Is anyone going to tell me what is going on? Why would I ask her to move in with me?” Joel turned around, asking the silent people around him instead.

Vanessa’s face turned chalk white. Shit, cat’s out of the bag. She couldn’t believe these people went behind her back. She kept telling them not to tell Joel. Sheesh. How hard was it to follow a simple request?

“Well, I don’t know what she told others, but she told me…” Ellie began.

“Ellie…” Vanessa interrupted, panic beginning to invade her voice.

“Shut up Vanessa,” Joel snapped. “Ellie?”

“She told me you and her are dating,” Ellie finished.

The rest of the group murmured a silent ‘yep’. Everyone apart from Maddie, who stayed quiet, eyes glued to her feet.

“You told them what?” Joel’s face was red now, his eyes snapping to Vanessa.

“No Joel, they must have misunderstood…” she began, but Maria cut her off.

“No Vanessa. You told me you and Joel were dating, exclusively.”

“No, I didn’t,” Vanessa starting to sound like a denial puppet now.

Maddie was still silent. Marcus couldn’t stay silent anymore, his memory of all the tears Maddie had shed resulting from this redhead’s poison just pushed the words out,

“I heard you told Maddie Joel wanted her out of the house so that you can move in with him, Vanessa. That you guys have a lot of very loud sex. In fact, I heard you said that you two were going ‘to start a family of your own’,” he added, complete with air quotes.

Joel’s eyes were shooting daggers at Vanessa now. His body so stiff the vein on his neck were practically popping open.

“Vanessa, why would you say that?” he asked, his voice strained from controlled anger.

Vanessa looked at everyone desperately, silently begging for someone to step up to her defense. No one did, in fact she was met with stone-faced people, all staring at her, waiting for her explanation, except for Maddie, who was still looking at her feet.

“Because I am in love with you, Joel! But all you could think about was her! I just thought, if I could just get her to pull away from you, or make you believe she wasn’t interested…”

“So, you told her we were together? That I wanted her to move out? That I wanted to start a family with you? To scare her away from me? That’s why you kept pushing the idea of her and Marcus at me? You wanted me to think she wasn’t interested in me?” her delusions were so vapid and over the top he couldn’t believe she thought she was going to get away with it all.

“Oh, come on Joel. Look at them. He can barely keep his hands off her. They spend all day together, how sure are you they are not just fucking their brains out when they’re alone at the clinic?” Vanessa spat out, pointing at the way Marcus had Maddie close in his arms.

“Erm… He’s been married to me for 8 years,” Francis piped up.

Vanessa spluttered. In all her scheming, she never thought Marcus might be gay, too self-important and vain to learn more about the people around her unless she was interested in them. She could not see a way out. All her carefully laid plan just burst out into the open. The romantic images of her and Joel riding off into the sunset together now a darkened fantasy.

“I just don’t see why we can’t be together Joel!” she pleaded, “We are perfect together. We work well together. We look good together! Why would you want some dried-up old maid when you can have me, Joel?” her face now wet with self-pitying tears, her hands reaching out to take his face in her hands. He slapped them away.

“Vanessa,” he said, his voice shaky and dangerously low. “I told you, many times, that I am not interested in you like that. We are patrol partners, in fact, after tonight, I wouldn’t even call us that, much less friends,” he continued, taking careful, deep breaths.

“Joel! Please Joel, give us a chance. I am so much better for you than she ever will be Joel, we could be so happy,” she pleaded, trying to take his hands. He took a step back, choosing his words carefully, fists clenched by his sides, trembling slightly.

“You will never speak to me again, you understand? Stay away from my family. You are going to tell everyone what you have done. If anyone still believed us to be couple by Monday, or if I hear you say anything bad about Maddie, or see you so much as look her way, so help me God, I will feed you to the clickers myself. Leave now Vanessa, before I forget myself and hurt you.”

Vanessa stood there like a stump. Her usually beautiful face looked exceptionally ugly under the dim lights behind the Tipsy Bison, tears streaking down her face. Unable to defend herself any longer, she turned and walked away defeatedly, her shoulders slumped.

Another uncomfortable silence surrounded the group.

“Does anyone feel stupid that we didn’t see this coming? I mean, if we had just asked Joel in the first place…” Tommy said, glaring at Maria, who was now regretting not doing just that.

A slew of uncomfortable looks and silent, awkward nods followed.

More silence.

“Well,” Francis said with a deep breath, “This was fun, but I would like to go back to the party and drink my achy bones away, perhaps have a dance or two with my husband,” he said.

Marcus looked at Maddie, a small smile on his face. He kissed her on the temple before letting her go, patting Joel on the shoulder, and walking hand in hand with Francis back to the party. Tommy cleared his throat.

“Yeah, well, I think I might join them. Baby?” he looked at Maria, holding his hand out for hers.

Maria reached out and gave Maddie a quick hug, before taking her husband’s hand and walking away with him. Ellie gave an exasperated sigh at her parental figures.

“Seriously people. You call yourselves my parents? Even I know to communicate, even if it’s just slamming doors. Sheesh,” she said, before starting to walk away. She stopped dead in her tracks, turned to the two of them and said, “By the way, I will be spending tonight at Dina’s. You two should be alone, and… erm… ‘talk’,” she said cheekily, before running off.

Alone at last, Joel and Maddie stayed silent for a while, both awkwardly shuffling their feet while looking at anything their eyes would land on but each other. Joel finally broke the tension, taking her hand, leading her to a bench in front of the clinic. Ellie was right, it’s time they finally talked. Sitting side by side, they shared what Vanessa had been doing as far as they knew.

***

Vanessa’s poison ran deep. She had always been friendly with everyone on the patrol team but set her eyes on Joel from the moment he arrived. She saw how closed up and private he was, so she spent the first couple of months being friendly to him, just a partner, patrolling together, idle chit chats while on duty. Eventually, she managed to get him to talk about Maddie and Ellie, and she saw how Maddie was her main competitor for his affection.

She got him to trust her, be his confidant, as much of a confidant as one can be for the very private Joel Miller. Encouraged him to tell Maddie about his feelings. She listened to him and acted all excited when he told her she had agreed to go out for drinks with him.

She took advantage of Maddie’s absence during her care for Mr. Crushed-by-his-Fridge. Be all buddy-buddy with him, all dressed up, while subtly becoming more and more physical with him. A touch here, a hug there, a head on the shoulder here, an arm around his there… friendly, but friendlier than usual.

She planted the idea of Maddie and Marcus in his head. Joel didn’t bite, so she changed tactics.

She planted the idea of her and Joel in Maddie’s head. She asked her to “do a girl a solid” and let the two of them have some “alone time”. She knew clinic staff stayed at the apartment above the clinic sometimes.

Vanessa ‘accidentally’ ran into him early in the morning the next day, Joel out of his mind with worry because he had just realized that Maddie did not come home that night. She told him she saw her going up to the apartment. She hit the jackpot when Marcus was there too. Now Joel was devastated, heartbroken that Maddie had found someone else.

Vanessa offered her couch, or even her bed for him to stay at, so Maddie and Marcus can have some alone time, they were a new couple after all. He was broken-hearted but decided to stay out of the house for a bit, but not at Vanessa’s. He chose the keeper’s room at the stable instead, sleeping there for almost a week, worried that he might react badly if Marcus came to the house.

Joel still refused her advances on him, insisting that they are only patrol partners. So, she upped her game plan. She subtly pushed the idea of her and Joel being together to Maria and Ellie. Maybe they will start saying her name more to him, be supportive of the idea, this would somehow push Joel into entertaining the idea of them being together.

The plan backfired. Instead of pushing Joel towards Vanessa, Ellie acted out, unhappy that her ‘parents’ were avoiding each other. Joel and Maddie stayed together for Ellie’s sake, rather than separating.

As a last-ditch effort, Vanessa concocted the delusional plan that she and Joel were planning to move in together, effectively planting the idea that Joel wanted her in, and Maddie out. The Ellie and the garage conversation was just an unplanned bonus, but the plan worked. Maddie was hurt enough to distance herself further from Joel, making him feel defeated. To Vanessa’s detriment, Joel still wouldn’t see her as more than a friend.

So, when she saw him injured at the clinic, she took the opportunity to give Joel some PDA to push in Maddie’s face, and Marcus coming in to protect Maddie helped convince Joel further that they really were together. But instead of being sad and finally giving in to Vanessa's advances, Joel chose to just be 'happy' for Maddie, just the way Maddie was for him. Even after all that, Joel stood firm - he was not interested in Vanessa like that. She had asked him to go to the Bison as her date, but he refused. She was determined to stick to Joel that night, never letting him go out of her sight, knowing he was too much of a gentleman to push her away in public. He had refused to dance with her at all, his eyes fixed on Maddie, who spent the entire night dancing merrily in Marcus’s arms. Vanessa kept mentioning what a lovely couple they were, Joel now obviously believing that Maddie and Marcus were indeed a couple. She was convinced that he will give in - just a little more time. All seemed to be going her way.

That was, until Francis walked in.

***

The two took deep breaths together, angry at themselves for letting themselves be fooled by this poisonous woman.

“We need to communicate better,” Joel said, shaking his head in disbelief, chuckling a little at the stupidity of it all.

Maddie could only nod in agreement, feeling drained and stupid for letting these lies cloud her judgments. But… something was missing. She looked at him questioningly,

“Wait, so if you were never with Vanessa, who were you with? I heard you having sex, Joel. I ran out so fast my feet almost caught fire.”

Joel frowned, searching his mind, trying to figure out what she was talking about. He hadn’t had se… oh no… God no… his face turned red at the realisation of what she heard. Words formed in his mind, trying to explain the situation she was referring to, one where he thought he was alone in the house for, but broken, disconnected words were all he managed to get out,

“Erm… sex? I haven’t had… not since… erm… I was not having sex… I was… erm… well… wait, you didn’t happen to hear your name too, did you?” his ears were now so red she could see the colour change even in the dim lighting of the sidewalk.

Realisation dawned on Maddie’s face, turning red on its own accord. Both of their faces now red hot from embarrassment, laughing softly. They continued sitting there, shoulders almost touching, their bodies swaying together to the faraway music from the square.

“So… you are not with Marcus?” Joel finally asked, a small smile on his blushing face.

Maddie smiled shyly, shaking her head slightly. “And you, you are not with Vanessa?” she asked him back.

“Never,” he said, shuffling closer to her. “I actually have a huge crush on my roommate,” he said, turning his body towards her, offering her his hands, “In fact, I am certain that I am in love with her.”

Maddie took his hands in hers, tears falling down on her cheeks. Joel kissed them away silently, putting his forehead on hers, whispering her name.

“Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry,” he said quietly, before taking her face in his hands, bringing her lips to his own, kissing her for the first time.

He held her tight, arms surrounding her, never wanting to let go. She wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers caressing his curls, sighing contentedly into the kiss. He deepened the kiss, swallowing her moans as she melted into his body. He stopped himself before the kiss turned desperate, very much aware they were on a sidewalk in front of the clinic, in perfect view of the townsfolk who were still going to the Bison. He took her by the hand, interlacing his fingers with hers, and asked her if he could take her home.

“My apartment is just through that door,” she whispered in his ears, pointing to the door behind him.

Joel’s body tensed. Without saying another word, he lifted her up bridal style, earning a shriek from her, and carried her up the stairs to the small apartment. He kicked the door closed before placing her gently on the twin bed in the middle of the room. He joined her on the bed, hovering over her, not caring that the bed was far too small for the both of them.

“Joel, your arm, we shouldn’t,” Maddie began, but he silenced her with a long, deep kiss.

“So, I hear you are in love with your roommate,” Maddie said. Joel chuckled shyly, his nose rubbing against hers. “Well guess what?” she asked, as he raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m in love with my roommate too,” she told him. His face lit up, and he claimed her lips again.

Joel didn’t want to leave any room for Maddie to doubt his desire for her that night. He took her slowly, thoroughly, his lips and tongue covering every bit of skin he unraveled when undressing her, leaving her moaning, squirming and breathless before she was even naked. When he finally took her soaked underwear off, the growl he let out had her wondering if he was secretly some sort of an animal, and boy oh boy was he one. He devoured her like he was some famished man who had spent his days peeking longingly into the window of a high-class restaurant he couldn’t possibly afford, ravenous from the deprivation of the ultimate feast that seemed unreachable for him until that very moment - her. Joel’s name became a prayer, ranging from desperate whiny whispers all the way to full blown screams that became hoarser and hoarser as the night went on. Maddie swore she saw God at least three times before his shirt was even off, shocked that he still had a full head of those beautiful curls from how hard she was pulling at them, legs shaking, chest heaving, her entire body flushed from the pleasure he had given her.

When she had calmed down, she climbed atop him, slowly torturing him with soft kisses, kitten licks and caresses, taking her time exploring his body, beginning from his eyebrows, going further and further down until he was so hard his entire body was shaking uncontrollably, his brain deprived from all the blood it needed, his words slurred and mumbled. She was amazed by the power she had over him at that moment – Joel Miller, the resident town grump, the man who ran amok through an entire hospital to save his daughter, the heroic alpha who could slash his way through bands of clickers and raiders alike – reduced to babbling nonsensical mumbo jumbo that almost had her giggling from satisfaction. When she slowly lowered his boxers, she blew softly on his unraveled manhood, leaving him gasping for air, his trembling body suddenly stock still from the pleasure a simple puff of air provided. She wet her lips, her mouth watering at the sight, and lowered her head to finally, finally taste him. But before she could even touch him, his hands stopped her, his body flipping her onto her back. He placed his head on her chest, telling her in a strained voice with much certainty that if she were to touch him at that moment, he would spontaneously combust.

Slowly, with their lips locked together in a passionate kiss, he entered her, inch by impressive inch, pulling back slightly, going deeper with each tortuously slow thrust, until he stilled, whispering to her between kisses that he needed a moment, fully encased in her warmth, his thick tip nudging at a spot Maddie never knew existed until now. She forgot how to breathe, her entire body responding to this much welcomed and long overdue union, the coil in her belly bubbling hot just from this one initial nudge, her insides involuntarily clenching to find release. He almost screamed, before composing himself, taking deep breaths, shutting his eyes from her reaction. He begged her, pleaded with her not to move, not to clench, his entire body straining from trying not to burst, his arms holding her tight, his face, neck and chest red from the effort, his teeth gritted, his eyes shut tight, beads of sweat glistening all over his beautiful face. She in turn was begging him over and over to forgive her, her body wasn’t listening to his pleas. She’s sorry, she’s sorry, she’s so very sorry, she couldn’t help it. Despite him not moving at all, she was too close, too hungry, too desperate for release, her core continuously squeezing him so tightly, milking him for all he had to give her, pulsating around him again and again until her entire body shook with unmitigated pleasure, stars bursting behind her eyes, sending her to heaven and back, a silent scream releasing from her open mouth, her hands clutching at his back, her vision whitened, her ears ringing, taking him with her to nirvana.

When she could finally breathe again, the room was quiet, save for their quivering breaths. His body was slumped over hers, his head in the crook of her neck. She held him tight, her fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on his back, a satisfied smile on her face. The silence was finally broken by his muffled voice, mumbled into her neck, before he managed to muster the energy to lift his head, his face red from embarrassment, having finished so early, inciting giggles from her. He buried his face in her neck again, mortified by his body’s betrayal, while she kept assuring him between sweet kisses that he had nothing to be embarrassed about. After all, she said, there’s always the next time. Wiggling his eyebrows, he kissed her with a smile, and promised vehemently that he would make up for it.

And after a short rest, he did make up for it, again and again that night. He made up for it again on Sunday morning despite complaining that the small bed had fucked his back, again after breakfast, while packing, showering, once more before leaving that evening, and one more time for good measure when he finally took her home, to their now shared bedroom.

***

The very tired but glowing couple walked to the clinic Monday morning, fingers entwined with one another’s. Maddie was due to start her shift, and Joel’s back and arm needed looking at, his back extremely sore and some of his stitches ripped from… unplanned strenuous activities. They were greeted by a very annoyed looking Marcus, a bucket of cleaning supplies at his feet. He complained that the apartment smelt like sex, unable to hide the smile behind his faux annoyance. So, Maddie’s sole duty for the day was to sanitize that apartment top to bottom, so that Marcus could actually get his rest there when needed without having to worry about… contamination.

As delusional as Vanessa had been in her concoction of her torrid sexcapades with Joel, she was right about one thing. The man may be middle aged, but he was young where it counted. The man was insatiable. Ever since that Saturday night, he couldn’t leave Maddie alone, hands constantly on her. Whenever they were in the same room, a part of him must be touching her at all times. A hand on her thigh, his little finger hooked on hers, his chest on her back, his arm around her shoulder, his fingers interlaced with hers, his chin on her shoulder, his arms around her waist, and those were when there were others around. When alone, those ‘innocent’ (his words, not hers) touches were always accompanied by his lips on her person, his talented tongue joining in on the action not long after. And well, the rest… followed.

Ellie made sure to knock as loudly as she could before going into any room in the house now, even open areas like the corridor, the living room or the kitchen, using anything she could use to make as much noise as she could, eyes closed tight until Joel or Maddie responded, her mind still haunted by what she saw when she walked in on her parents going at it like rabbits on the couch, which she steadfastly refused to sit on now, even after they made a show of thoroughly cleaning it in front of her.

“It’s the mental image of it, guys, you’re gonna have to scrub my actual brain to get rid of that,” she exclaimed, “Can’t believe you mowed down an entire hospital to save me, and then let me go through THAT…” she mumbled under her breath, shaking her head. “Let’s erm… get the ‘me moving into the garage bit’ going yeah? So, I don’t fear for my mental health much longer?” The girl had been through literal and figurative hell and back, and walking in on her parents having sex was still the worst thing she had ever seen.

Their life and routines together flourished. As far as Jackson were concerned, they were a family. Sure, the ladies still ogled Joel like he was a popsicle on a hot day, but Maddie now knew for sure that he only had eyes for her.

Vanessa had been taken out of Joel’s patrol team and placed on wall duty, partnered with only women, most of whom acted like she wasn’t there unless needed. Life hadn’t been easy for her since that night. Word of her scheming had spread like wildfire, and the ladies of Jackson, even the single ones, avoided her like the plague, worried she would go after their men. Even the men avoided her - save for some shameless lecherous ones who only wanted one thing from her – worried that they would be trapped by her. Safe to say that any hopes for her to settle down and have a family was long gone.

She in turn, avoided the Millers as much as she could, turning around and going another direction whenever she saw them. She couldn’t avoid going to the clinic when she needed treatment, but she had no choice. Thankfully, Maddie and Marcus were much too classy to treat her like a leper, her shame was enough of a punishment without them having to add to it.

***

A year later, Ellie ran into the house in such a rush she didn’t have time to knock, running upstairs, barging into her parents’ room with her eyes closed tight, a hectic scrambling on the bed letting her know she had been right to do so.

“Guys, Tommy sent me, Maria’s in labour!” she yelled.

Maddie and Joel dressed quickly, Maddie telling Ellie to go get Marcus.

“Tommy already went to get him. And eww Maddie, wash your hands! God knows what part of Joel you just touched,” she squirmed, eyes still closed shut. She turned around to leave, muttering under her breath, “With all your canoodling I am shocked Maria’s having a baby and not you…”

Joel and Maddie looked at each other, a knowing smile on their faces.

[addisonnie]

you, me, & mary-jane

summary: dealer!ellie comes in clutch in more ways than one.

warnings: make-out sesh, cursing, terrible breaking bad references

a/n: surprise! another ellie fic because i refuse to do the schoolwork that i desperately need to finish! wooooooooo dealer ellie is yum. i actually kinda hate this! enjoy! oh god also listen to “meddle about” by chase atlantic while you read if you would like. ellie=chase atlantic okay bye

part 2 —> part 3

There are several things in life that you can live without. Weed is not one of them.

You’re huffing and borderline growling as you dig through various stash locations in your room. Closet, empty. Under the mattress, nothing but crumbs. In every single pants pocket? Zero. Zilch. Not one lush green nug was found.

What could be chalked up to a literal war cry left your lips as you sat on the floor with your head in your hands, “this is it. This is the end.”

Dina’s head poked up from the side of her bed, “what are you whining about down there?”

Leaning your head back onto the wall, you sent Dina a harsh glare, “you and Jesse smoked the last of it! And I’m flat broke, too!”

She sat up fully in her bed, eyes wide and crazy, “bitch! Don’t pin this on us! You said it was fine.”

“That was last night! This is today! Today I just want to smoke my silly little bowl and enjoy my silly little high.” You groan and knock your head against the wall a few times.

Fishing your phone from your back pocket, you open iMessage. Hopefully your plug isn’t busy right now. Last time you bought from him was in the parking lot of his youngest child’s soccer game. Maybe buying from a 40-something father of three isn’t always the best idea—at least he won’t rip you off?

Hey. You busy?

Tom usually responds right away. His clients doubled as his friends (you being his ex-babysitter) and he always loved to provide for them.

Who is this?

Well, that’s strange. Tom definitely has your number saved. And, Tom definitely knows who you are.

Don’t play, Tom. I want to buy!!!!

You watch the text bubbles pop up and disappear in the bottom corner of the screen a few times, showing that he’s typing out a response and deleting it over and over.

This is his wife. Don’t text this number again. He is married. And he does not sell what you want to “buy.”

You could really cry at this moment. Like, honestly and truly sob. A long huff leaves your lips and you knuckle at your eyes aggressively. Fucking bullshit. Tom’s wife was always kind of a bitch, to be fair. But you didn’t think she’d ever pull a Skylar White on you. What does a girl have to do to get some weed around here?

“Do you know any other dealers? I just got told off by Tom’s wife.” Dina laughed from her bed.

“My name is Skylar White, yo. My husband is Walter White, yo.” You couldn’t help but laugh, “that’s exactly what I was thinking!”

She sits up in her bed, hanging her tanned legs off the side, “here. I have mutual friends with this girl, think her name is Ellie? I heard she sells. Good prices too.”

Dina tosses her phone into your lap from where she sits and allows you to send the contact to yourself.

Hey. Is this Ellie?

———

Ellie takes a couple hours before responding.

It depends on who’s asking?

Your professor drones on about some random Shakespeare play and you can’t bring yourself to pay attention while you read over Ellie’s text.

Dina gave me your number, I heard you sell?

Man. I really hope you’re not a cop.

You chuckle at her text.

Not a cop. Twenty year old girl over here. I love One Direction.

That sounds like something an undercover cop would say.

Ellie made a good point. You scroll through your camera roll trying to find a recent selfie before landing on one you took a couple days ago. You’re clearly high in the picture, so maybe Ellie will take the hint.

Here. Proof. Not a cop :)

Pretty.

She sent her address in a separate text and informs you to meet her there around 7pm when she’s done with her night class. Your professor excuses the class and leaves the remainder of students to pack their things. 5pm. Usually you smoke before going to pick up. Clearly, that’s not an option today. What does one do while they wait if they have no weed?

———

Nothing. One does absolutely nothing if they have no weed.

You knock on Ellie’s front door and wait a few beats before stepping back from the doorway. The lock clicks before the dingy wooden door opens inward,

“Hey!”

Oh, damn. She is fine.

Her auburn hair is short and rests about an inch above her shoulders. It’s pulled slightly up into a bun and several short strands curl lightly along the nape of her neck.

“Hey! Ellie, right?”

She smiles, “that’s me.” The door is pulled open wider and she beckons you to come inside. A botanical tattoo swirls along her forearm and you find yourself staring at her awkwardly before you step into the house.

She tugs off her flannel and slings it over the back of a woven couch, leaving her in a fitted white tank top.

You suck in a breath, “how are you?”

How are you? Really? Who says that to a drug dealer?

She chuckles and slouches into the couch, patting the open spot beside her, “pretty good. How about you?”

“Honestly? I’m suffering.”

She laughs fully this time, “that bad, huh? Your dealer die or something?”

“God, I wish. His wife responded to my text and told me to fuck off, basically. That he doesn’t sell what I buy.” Ellie cringes and shakes her head, her lips pressed into a tight frown,

“she Skylar-Whited you? That’s pretty fucking rough.”

“That’s exactly what I said! Call me Jesse Pinkman, I guess.” Ellie shook her head again and leaned forward to grab a small mahogany box.

Her long fingers opened the lid and scrounged through the container before she happily hummed and held up what she was looking for. A joint was pressed between her fingers and she quickly snatched a lighter off the coffee table.

After she placed the box back on the table, she leaned back into the couch and stretched her arm along the back of it, her fingers barely grazing your shoulder. Ellie turned to face you and held the joint to your lips, “open up.”

Your face flushes as you do what she asked—demanded. Her fingers place the joint onto your awaiting lips and she quickly lights the paper, still holding the joint to your mouth.

What is this girl on? You can’t help but feel as if this is strangely intimate. Tom never held a joint to your lips! On second thought, it’s probably good that he didn’t.

You inhale and she pulls the joint to meet her own mouth as she watches you exhale.

“We can smoke this and then I’ll grind up some for you.” She passes you the joint this time.

“Oh—you don’t have to. I can take the nugs. I don’t want to trouble you.” You pass it back.

She smirks, the joint hanging from the side of her mouth, “no trouble at all. Happy to do it.”

“Is that what you tell all of your clients?”

Another smirk, “only the pretty ones.”

The joint is placed back into your fingertips and you are very glad, this way you can explain the extreme blush creeping up onto your cheeks as just you being overly high. Ellie has somehow moved closer to you, her thigh is pressed up against yours and the arm she has outstretched across the back of the couch skims the back of your shoulders. A chill rakes through your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“Here, take it.” The hand she has resting behind your head snatches her discarded flannel and drops it into your lap.

“Oh—thanks.” She hums in response.

———

Ellis is funny as hell. Each sentence that escapes her plump lips makes less sense than the last,

“would you rather be trapped in a locked room with a gorilla, or with…with a shit ton of cockroaches?”

She’s sitting opposite you on the couch, her back leaning against one armrest. One of her legs is bent and squished against the back of the couch, her other is sprawled off the edge of the couch. Bit of a man-spreader, this one. Your back is pressed to the opposite arm rest and your legs are stretched outward, resting softly in her lap.

Again, weirdly intimate.

“Oh. Fuck, probably the roaches? Just step on ‘em. Yanno?”

She gasps and latches onto your sock-clad feet, “sickening! Me and that gorilla are gonna be friends.”

You squint at her, “you gonna sell him some Mary-Jane?”

“Yup,” she pops the ‘p’ and passes you the remainder of the joint. Your fingers skim over hers and she blushes a bit, nudging your finger with hers.

“Hey—so how much do I owe you?” You immediately regret ruining the moment the second the words pass your lips.

“Well, flattery works with me—“ you cut her off, “oh yeah? I would’ve kissed you earlier, had I known that.”

She flushes, “you can—um. You can still kiss me. If you want.”

And, just like that, your eyes turn into hearts and start beating rapidly. You surge forward and press your lips to hers, smiling into the kiss when she flicks the joint out of her fingertips and grabs your cheeks, pulling you closer.

Her mouth melds to yours and immediately has you panting like a bitch in heat. She moves one of her hands to pinch at your hip, grasping and probing at you until you wind up straddling her lap. You press your chest into hers and squeak when you feel her hand push your hip down, effectively grinding you down onto her. A strangled whine leaves your lips as she pulls away and begins kissing down the column of your throat.

Her mouth is wet and firm while she sucks and nips on any naked skin she can find, moaning when she feels your fingers card through her hair. Your hips continually rut into hers and she quickly sets a different pace, gripping your hips and dragging you forward and back on her lap. Ellie moans when you grab her hair and pull. Her face is removed from your neck at the force of your tug and she pants to catch her breath before opening her eyes to meet yours.

“How’s free sound?” She gives you a crooked smirk and presses an open-mouthed kiss to your throat.

“Sounds like I’m ripping you off, Ellie.”

She groans and throws her head back onto the couch, “I love the way you say my name. And it’s not ripping me off, babe.”

And you’re blushing again. Babe. She called you babe.

She continues, “think of it as a little sampler. Free shared joint, some ground up weed, and some Ellie.”

You grab her cheeks and squish them together, “only if you swear this sampler is offered to me only. Can’t have anyone stealing my deals.”

She brushes your hands off and smirks again, “like I said earlier, pretty girls only.”

“You said ‘girls’ plural.” She laughs.

“I’ve got three clients. A grown man named Joel, one of the sociology professors—don’t tell anyone I said that. Then you. And I’m a lesbian, so…” She trails off at the end of her sentence and looks down at your lips again, hands splayed across your thighs.

You kiss her again. It’s short and chaste and it leaves Ellie chasing your lips for just one more. Two more. Three. How’s five sound?

She presses kisses to your puckered lips over and over, “all,” kiss, “the weed,” kiss, “you can,” kiss, “dream of.”

Ellie finally pulls away to fully look at you, “I mean it. You can have all the weed you want if you keep kissing me like that.”

————

When you finally clamber off of her lap and detach her hands from your hips it’s almost one in the morning. She sighs while she watches you stuff your ‘goody bag’ into your purse, slipping your shoes back on. Her fingers beckon you back to the couch and she taps your right leg until you bend it and rest your foot on top of her thigh. You were planning on walking home with your shoes untied, but Ellie’s nimble fingers quickly double knot each of your shoes; She presses a kiss to each of your knees before letting them straighten back out.

Her hands find your hips again—shocker— while she walks you to the front door. A kiss is pressed to your lips one last time and she gives you a firm squeeze when you lean in to hug her.

“Come back soon. Fuck that guy, I’m your new dealer for life.” You smile and step outside, “okay.”

She definitely tied your shoes too tight and you make a mental note to fix it when you’re out of her eyesight. As you’re walking down the sidewalk that leads you to campus she calls your name,

“Get home safe, yeah? Text me when you’re back!”

You will definitely text her.

[callmelola111]

color me purple ♡ part three

 ✄ - - - -   part 1 , part 2 , part 3   - - - - soundtrack - - - - ♡

synopsis: it’s summer and you’re back at camp stillwater. as a counselor you mean serious business and you’ll do whatever it takes for your cabin to come out on top. the only thing in the way of that; ellie williams and her crazy antics. 

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 3.4k

      | ❀ | cw (by part): 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, fem reader, some angst, ellie and reader fight, sweet love confession, !!SMUT WARNING!! (minors plz steer clear of this fic + dni), swearing, dom!ellie, sub!reader, whipped cream play, slightly public??, fingering (e receiving), oral (r receiving), scissoring (e + r), pet names (princess, sweet girl, baby, etc.), praise, edging kinda, some aftercare (lmk if i missed anything!!)

a/n: hello lovelies!!! i apologize for taking a whole ass week to get out this last part, i was on vacation and not feeling very inspired. finally though, i present a nasty, sweet ending that i hope you all love. so fun to write and read back, like why am i all hot and bothered rn lol. like always, thank you for the support!! ♡~ lola

That night Ellie replayed your words over and over in her head trying to dissect their meaning. Had her player-esque persona finally caught up to her? If so, why did it matter to you?

Through some deep speculation, she began connecting the dots. There seemed to be a real possibility that you liked Ellie as more than a friend, just as she did you. There was no way to be sure though, not unless she asked. But, the task seemed daunting considering it felt as if she had already ruined what she didn’t know was there.

The image of your tear stained face was seared into Ellie’s mind and proved as motivation to confess, apologize, explain. As long as you’d listen she’d repair the damage done to your heart. A tinge of regret hit Ellie as she thought about the meaningless hookups of summer's past. It was her way of dealing with unrequited love. But of course, now that that love doesn’t seem so unrequited, her mistakes have come back to taint it. 

♡

The following morning kicked off bright and early. 8:00am to be exact. The sky was pure blue with no fluffs of white to shade from the fury that was the sun. In virtue of the rising temperatures the expansive lake beckoned masses of campers into its waters. Just in time for the kayak relay race about to take place.

Each team lined up in number order spanning across the weathered wood of the dock. At the very end stood teams 11 and 12, you and Ellie heading your rows of campers. With the sting of yesterday's interactions you continued giving Ellie the cold shoulder.

It took everything inside to void your gaze from her, trying to focus on the games, while Ellie lacked the self control to look at anything but you. She studied your glowy skin and the way your sweat gathered at the nape of your neck from the sweltering heat. She took note of the stray hairs that clung to the moisture you produced and the way your brows remained furrowed as you fought every instinct urging you towards her. It felt like absolute torture and although neither of you said a word, there was a mutual understanding of the shared pain. However, before the tension could beat down on you any longer a loud whistle blew, signaling the start of the race.

Each counselor kicked off the relay heading straight for the finish. You slipped into your kayak, gripping onto the red double-bladed paddle that propelled you forward. Ellie’s boat was in line with yours sending aggressive ripples in between the two hunks of floating plastic. The course stretched over 500 meters and as you reached the 400 meter mark you were still neck and neck with Ellie, fighting for first place.

This is usually how it went but something about today was different, something in Ellie’s eye’s hinted towards a more complicated journey towards triumph. She suddenly jerked her boat to the right, straight towards yours. The pointed tip of her kayak rammed into the side of yours rocking it side to side and throwing you off course. Knowing her abilities, you recognized this as a pursuit at instigation. 

“HEY FUCK OFF!” you shouted with anger before swerving your boat to the left, hitting hers in retaliation. Ellie continued to push back.

“Oh so now you’ll speak to me?!” 

“Are you serious right now? Stop fucking with me Ellie!” You attempted to continue forward, but as multiple racers passed you and Ellie blocked your path, it felt like no use. 

“You can’t be mad at me forever!” her voice was desperate rather than angry and this left you baffled at her exact motives. 

“Oh yeah? TRY ME!” Ellie took your words as an invitation and used her paddle to scoop at the murky water sending it your way. You screamed in irritation as it hit you right in the face, soaking your once dry body.

Before you knew it, you were rising from your seated position to catapult even more water back at her. Ellie then stood up right with you, continuing the petty fight and reaching across the edge of her floating device to grab ahold of your paddle. At this point the both of you were blinded with vexation playing tug of war with the rod of plastic. Your boat rocked back and forth, more and more violently each time as you began to lose balance. With one last wave of water and the pull of Ellie you both tumbled into the lake in a mess of arms, legs, and curses.

You quickly shot up with the help of your life jacket, now drenched. Screams and laughters erupted along with the violent blowing of Mrs. Campbell’s whistle to halt the race and deal with the trouble you and Ellie caused. The both of you had been sentenced to kitchen duty and expected to sort out whatever drama had ensued. With the weight of your decisions, you were then banished from the lake and sent off to prepare lunch in place of the usual cooks.

♡

The double doors of the mess hall swung open with attitude as you and Ellie waltzed in. The air was shockingly cool compared to the barren heat just outside. Your wet hair became a nuisance as its once cooling effect now left you cold and miserable in the air conditioning.

Ellie led the way into the sterile looking kitchen and you followed in silence. Little words had been said between the two of you since your rage filled water fight. Although now, all rage had dissipated, leaving only feelings of shame and heartache in the air you shared. The silence grew heavy and the things left unsaid began bubbling up.

You reached for a ratty gray apron hanging on the dull walls trying to focus on the assigned task of cooking lunch. Staring at the chipped paint, you fumbled at the strings behind your back trying to tie them but to no avail. 

“Uh- do you want some help?” Despite Ellie being the only one in the room, her voice startled you. She inched closer waiting for your permission to assist and you obliged. Ellie’s hands reached to the contour of your waist, gripping the fabric. The brush of her knuckles across the small of your back sent a parade of chills to your skin. Her touch was slow and agonizing. Part of you wondered if she’d purposely made such prolonged contact as she tied the strings into a sloppy bow.

Although Ellie’s duty was done, you both remained still, you facing the wall and her facing your back. She reached once more to your familiar waistline and quickly flipped you around towards her.

“There… all done.” she murmured. In that moment with just inches between each other, eyes locked, you finally felt sure of her feelings, and your feelings, and the fact that you couldn’t keep pretending to hate her. The universe would stop at nothing to bring the two of you together and it was time to surrender. Ellie’s emerald orbs were full of you and only you and she knew she had to say something. If not now, when?

“I’m so fucking sorry. For everything. Please– forgive me.” You collapsed into her body like a house of cards. These were the words you needed to hear. Voice cracking, you called out her name in desperation.

“Ellie-” She urgently completed the other half of the embrace. Your face nestled perfectly into the crick of her neck like it was fate. Pine soap and earthy lake water wafted through your senses as you took in a deep inhale of relief. The following breaths were rocky and unsteady as all your pinned up emotions rose to the surface. Still stuck in Ellie’s crevice you began a gentle cry.

“Hey- hey- look at me. Don’t cry bunny.” She pulled your damp face in the cradle of her hands and guided you into contact with her glassy, green eyes. 

“Els, you- you have no idea what you do to me.” you struggled through the vulnerable sentence. Ellie pulled you back into the warmth of her body squeezing you even tighter like she was worried you might float away. Your words sat in the air waiting to be tended to until finally Ellie acted.

“I think I might.” Her answer was like a warm blanket around your heart. You looked up from your sanctuary in her frame and she stared back. You played a cat and mouse game of glances from eyes to lips and pressure rose.

Ellie took a deep inhale and asked the anticipated question, “can I kiss you?” With no time for words you dove into her soft mouth. Your top lip slotted perfectly in between hers, sealing the gap of yearning that had amassed from years of rivalry.

The peck was hard and long. It’s tenderness evoked cries of queer happiness from the both of you. Your tears mixed with hers was an act of love, and a long-awaited one at that. Ellie’s lips began to wander down to your neck and then your collarbones evoking sweet giggles from your throat. 

“Ellie- Ellie- enough. We do have to cook, you know.” A disappointing realization but true nonetheless. 

“Fine, fine.” Ellie’s kisses halted but you could still feel each one radiating off your skin. Your smile didn’t falter once as you and Ellie whipped up lunch for the campers. Who would’ve thought punishment could be this fun?

♡

After the 12 cabins passed in and out of the mess hall, consuming the meal, you and Ellie followed behind to clean up. After the kitchen was tidied, you both ventured into the dining area to wipe off the tables scattered throughout.

You dipped your sudsy rag into the bucket of cleaning solution and swirled it across the laminated wood. The table was long and wide forcing you to bend over the edge to extend your arm towards the hard to reach parts. Your ass up in the air was like a bright flag waving for Ellie to come over and assist, but not with the cleaning. She snaked both arms around your waist connecting them at your tummy. Her groin then pressed at your hips with reverence. She admired your shape and the way you somehow always slotted perfectly into her.

“Ellieeee…” You drug out her name nice and long, disguising your pleasure with annoyance. She began planting more kisses in the same pattern as before.

“What? Do you want me to stop?” You sat up now parallel with her body, ass still against crotch. Breathy air escaped from your mouth as Ellie gently nibbled at your ear, sending your head into a spin. You gulped out a string of “nos”, adamant about how much you needed her. And how you needed her now.

Your expression of desperation triggered Ellie’s strong hands into action. The 5 digits dragged up the right side of your ribs causing the soft red fabric of your shirt to bunch up, her firm motions stopping at the underside of one of your breasts. Ellie kneaded hungrily at the mound of fat, reveling in your braless form and hardening nipples. 

“C’mere, turn towards me. I wanna see your pretty face.” Her request flowed from her blushed lips like a symphony and you quickly obeyed. The table dug into your back leaving a mark as Ellie towered over you in desire like an animal. You tugged at the hem of her blue T-shirt sliding your hand under the linen. You were just as needy. Her abs flexed with the exploration of your eager hands. Wanting more, she leaned in close to deliver the message.

Her hot breath tickled you ear as she whispered, “you wanna make purple?” No matter how hot and bothered the both of you were, Ellie still found time to insert in her stupid humor. The cheesy sexual innuendo made you snicker but only for a moment before you were pulled back into her world of desire.

You nodded fervently to urge the escalation of this interaction, so she scooped you up by your pillow soft thighs and whisked you away to the kitchen. The stainless steel countertop where Ellie had positioned you was cold and left the back of your legs moderately numb. Overflowing with lust, you went for Ellie’s lips but she quickly pulled away before you could reach them.

“Ah, ah, ah.” she tsk’s before dashing away to the large industrial fridge, sending the double doors flying open with her pull.

“Els? What are you doing?” you questioned, feeling the ache between your legs amp up. You weren’t sure how much longer you could wait for her touch.

“I’m hungry.” she answered simply, pulling out a large red canister of dairy. Confusion was your prominent emotion but you didn’t dare to question her methods. Shaking the metal up and down vigorously she ran back, popping off the cap on the way. Your clenched thighs were quickly peeled apart by Ellie as she made room for herself between your dangling legs. In one hand she hoisted up the whipped cream and with her other she took your chin, angling it upward.

“Open.” she commanded. You separated your lips in obedience but it wasn’t enough.

“Wider.” Ellie’s hand cradled your jaw as it dropped even further this time. With this she squirted the milky, white cream down your throat. 

“Now swallow,” she instructed until your compliance, “good girl.” A cocky, power hunger smirk painted Ellie’s face as she watched you melt into the palm of her hand. You were sure that the thin cotton of your panties was now far from dry. 

“We’re gonna have some fun now... hands up.” With assistance from the girl in blue, you shed a layer of clothing. Your tit’s instantly perked up with the frigid air of the kitchen now surrounding them. Ellie watched in awe as dozens of fantasies played out in her head. It was a struggle just deciding what she wanted to do to you first.

The whipped cream assisted her next steps as she sprayed it across your remarkable chest. You gasped in pleasure at the cold, wet sensation. Drips of white began to trickle down your stomach as Ellie played clean up with the help of her tongue. The pink muscle pressed flat to your sternum collecting a heaping of cream and then venturing back to your own mouth. Teeth clashed and tongues wrestled as the white liquid swirled between the exchange of salvia. You left the kiss just for a moment to let out an urgent mewl. Ellie’s attention was then diverted back to your beautiful, beautiful body. She continued lapping up the sweetness taking time in between to suck on your erect nipples.

“Shit- baby, it got all over your cute little shorts,” she continued, her voice smooth like butter, “we better get these off of you then, huh?” Your bottom lip quivered in sexual agony, anticipating the future promises of friction. Ellie took her built arms and hooked them around the back of your legs. Upon swift movement she pulled you to the edge of the counter, stealing your shorts and panties in the process. Frigid steel made contact with your puffy clit aiding in some sense of satisfaction while you pleaded with Ellie.

“P-please, n-n-need you Els.” You bucked your hips demonstrating the amount of discomfort you were feeling. Ellie played dumb.

“Need what?” She teased your aching cunt with gentle brushes of her fingers at your thighs and you yelped.

“Need your fingers- your mouth- something- pleassee.” The words came out in a long slur but Ellie knew just what you were begging for oh so desperately. Having fun with her little game, she brought back the canister of white fluff, this time dispersing it across the heat you held between your inviting thighs.

Red plump lips belonging to Ellie planted deep into each bit of your flesh before eventually reaching their final destination. Your exquisite folds were glazed in milk and sugar like a special treat waiting to be devoured. For just a few seconds everything was frozen as Ellie was trapped by your fantasy-like beauty. Saving the image to memory, she dove into your crotch like it was her first, last, and only meal. Her tongue swirled through every crevice of you, taking only a few beats to express words of praise…

“My sweet, sweet girl.” , “You’re all mine” , “You taste so fucking good princess.”

Although, her affirmations could hardly be understood over your exuberant cries of pleasure. In your case, sentences were the last thing being formed as your bliss began to reach a fever pitch. 

“Close,” you mumbled, “so close.”

Ellie halted all movements, not wanting it to end.

“You think I’m gonna let you cum that easy? No way baby, we still have more fun to be had.” She shook her head taunting you. No matter how much it hurt, Ellie was in control and you clenched hard trying to prevent any further acceleration to your orgasm. You wanted to be the very best girl for your very best girl. 

“Come on, let’s take this to the pantry.” She hoisted you up off your place in the kitchen and assisted you there, your slick dripping down the innards of your legs as you walked (it was really more of a wobble and hop). 

With a glistening face of your wetness, Ellie then commanded you again, “Lie down for me pretty.” You did so as Ellie stripped herself down, meeting your bareness. She dipped into your form on the cold tile but the heat of your bodies was enough to distract from all the outside factors.

Purple and blue welts appeared across your neck and breasts as Ellie sucked every bit of skin she could in between the wrath of her teeth. With her parallel to you, your hands reached down to confront the mess that was Ellie’s folds. 

“So wet.” you whimpered in satisfaction. Knowing how just your sole pleasure could do that much to her drove you mad. You couldn’t help but slip a finger inside her tight little hole, trying to give back even just a sliver of the bliss she gave you. Ellie gasped as you filled her up, releasing the bit of flesh in her mouth that she had been suctioning to.

As much as she reveled in your pleasure, you reveled in hers. More whipped cream squirted between your bodies, mixing with the influx of sweat being produced. After many sloppy, in-and-out pumps of your digits you pulled them out to taste.

Ellie took this as an opportunity to grab your hips, holding them still for her own to align just right. You both began rocking against each other, unsteady at first, but with practice you gained a perfect rhythm. Clits bumped as heaving breaths and loud groans shot through the air. The mess hall pantry has become heaven on earth. 

“Fuccckkk,  I think I’m gonna…” Ellie erupted and you followed.

“Mmmmm.” Your back arching and her hips bucking chaotically, Ellie assaulted your sensitive ball of nerves with her own. The stars aligned and the angels sang as the both of you reached the climax of your lives. It was euphoric. White flooded your vision as you continued to ride out this high with the girl of your dreams. Sweet, sweet Ellie Williams.

Finally, the ravenous movement and desperate attempts at pleasure caught back up, leaving you limp and fucked out. Ellie lay next to you with a firm grip on your hand, maintaining contact as a sense of comfort and slight fear that if she didn’t hold on you’d vanish into thin air. You rolled to your side scattering gentle pecks on her arms and torso. 

“My special girl” you whispered into her skin, just loud enough for Ellie to hear. She smiled at you and then let out a large sigh of release, kissing you back.

“God, you’re sticky. Wonder how that happened??” A stupid little grin was stamped on her face as she teased about the recent sexual escapades.

“Let me clean you up, yeah?” You nodded with adoring eyes. She was an angel in bed and out of it. With a wet rag Ellie cleaned up the sugary, sweet mess, giving an occasional kiss of tenderness. It was all you could’ve ever asked for, and it continued that way for the rest of the summer and many more to come.

 ✄ - - - -   part 1 , part 2 , part 3   - - - - masterlist - - - - ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss @robinismywifee @sophlovesbooks @97cityy

(taglist is for all callmelola111 works, if you'd like to be removed just kindly lmk)

[ellabsprincess]

Hi sweet pea.Could you write something about reader being in a famous like rock or metal band and basically being a total slut but then she gets a girlfriend (Ellie) and tells everyone she has a girlfriend but not showing anyone what Ellie looks like or telling them her name and then one day reader is doing an interview with another band who they are on tour with and talks about having a girlfriend and the other band is like wtf no u don’t ur literally a whore and then reader brining Ellie out to show them

it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable doing this okay bye love you <3

omfg sweat pea??? literally marrying you rn cause that's so cute!! also i literally LOVE this idea like rockstar ellie has been on the brain!!

also i followed the main inspo of your ask, but changed it slightly, sorry!! i just think it fit better as i was in the middle of writing!

enjoy my love!!

p.s. love you too!!

"rock n' fucking roll" (rockstar!ellie x rockstar!reader)

word count: 3.5k

warnings: 18+, lowercase intended, switch!ellie, switch!reader, marijuana use, ellie is kinda a loser for reader, twinge of angst from ellie, smut, they fuck while high but they're like barely high, ellie has a happy trail and a hairy pussy, cunnilingus, nipple sucking, fingering, relationship talk, love confessions, mutual pining, reader has nipple piercings bc i'm living vicariously through this

also i am not really knowledgable of bands, music, or performing, so if something is inaccurate, you saw nothing...

important note: ellie and reader are referred to as "sluts" in this fic. that is simply for the purpose of the story and because the anon asked for that specific element. i do not encourage or condone slut shaming of any sort

tags: @m-3-ijiworld @seraqhites @uraesthete @hehatesmati @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @elliespookie @dropsofs4turn @millersaurora @jjmaybankslittleslut @lonelyfooryouonly

wanna join my tag list? click here

can't stay at home, can't stay in school

old folks say, "you poor little fool"

down the streets i'm the girl next door

i'm the fox you've been waiting for

hello, daddy, hello, mom

i'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb

the music is deafening in your ears as you begin to perform. singing your heart out to the angry and aggressive beat, with ellie by your side on bass, and dina behind you on drums.

the venue was dirty and full of drunk and stumbling people, but you didn't care. not when the sound of the bass was nearly rupturing your eardrums as you swayed your hips in your miniskirt and pranced across the stage, mic in hand. your thighs were adorned with provocative garters and ripped tights, and your shirt was a 90's baby tee with some alt band's logo plastered on the front. you were a perfect mix of girly, provocative, and alt, just unashamed to be yourself when on stage.

ellie was quite the opposite next to you. her dirty and beaten black converse stomped the floor to the beat of dina's drums. she wore ripped, tight jeans, with a vintage flannel opened over a white wife pleaser.

her guitar was cherry red, almost the same shade as the lipstick you were wearing, and she had her signature rainbow guitar strap slung over her shoulder.

pouring your soul out into the lyrics and feeling the music, you fell to your knees on the dirty stage, whipping your hair around messily as you stared into the audience. you felt ellie get closer to you, standing just above you and looking down at you with a nefarious glint in her eyes as her fingers flew over her guitar strings.

the song finally came to an end, and you sung the lyrics as you continued to hold ellie's gaze.

hello world i'm your wild girl

i'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

cherry bomb

ellie strung her guitar a few more times, letting the sound echo through the room before reaching her hand down to grab you by the chin, pulling your head upwards and signaling you to stand up. her signal of dominance sent the crowd into a frenzy. cheers and screams filled the room as you heard distant comments like "i love you ellie!!" and "top me please ellie!"

you just rolled your eyes at the panic of the crowd. you were used to ellie's stage antics at this point, and you knew it was for nothing more than attention and crowd engagement. besides, you always had your own fans at the shows. finally standing to your feet and catching your breath, you spoke into the mic.

"thank you all so much for coming out tonight, you guys were amazing! have a great night!"

you, ellie, and dina all threw up peace signs at the cheering crowd before retreating backstage. the three of you were exhausted, all covered in sweat but high off adrenaline and the praise of your fans.

you all entered the green room and found yourselves collapsing into the nearest chairs. ellie handed you and dina bottles of water to ease your sore throat and dehydrated states.

"wow, what a fucking night," ellie commented.

"yeah, i think you made about half the girls out there drop their panties," you teased.

"oh shut up."

"come on, don't act like you don't know what you're doing," dina chimed in.

ellie could only laugh and roll her eyes before letting her head roll back and rest on the plush chair, too tired to argue with the both of you.

after a few minutes of reflecting on the night's show and wolfing down water and snacks, you noticed dina making her way out of the room. when you asked her where she was going, she explained that she had made plans earlier with her friend jesse and was going to be out the whole night. how she had the energy to go out after that show, you had no idea, but you honestly didn't care in your exhausted state.

you suddenly realized how much pain you were in, and how uncomfortable and sticky your outfit had become, and you felt a need to change immediately. all you wanted was just to go back to the band trailer and slip on some comfy clothes and relax the rest of the night.

ellie clearly had similar ideas.

"hey, wanna go back to the trailer and smoke and chill the rest of the night?"

"fuck yeah"

back at the trailer, you wasted little time before making a beeline for the shower. you nearly moaned at the pleasurable feeling of washing away all the sweat and exhaustion from your skin. you probably wasted too much time in that small room, but you didn't care. stepping out of the cramped bathroom in nothing but tiny sleep shorts and a tank top, you found ellie relaxing on her bunk. she had stripped down to her wife pleaser and some black boxers, and was scrolling through her phone.

hearing you move towards her, she looked up at you, sitting up to grab and light the blunt hastily thrown on the table near her bunk. as you crouched down to sit next to her, you didn't notice how she looked you up and down, staring at your chest through your thin top.

were those nipples piercings?

her thoughts were interrupted as you held out your hand to take the blunt from her, taking a long drag and turning your head to blow the smoke away from where you were sitting. you took another, shorter, drag before passing it off to ellie. she took the blunt between her fingers with a shaky grip, and nearly choked on her inhale as if it was her first time smoking. she couldn't take her eyes off of you.

she shamefully stared at your soft thighs barely hidden and covered by your short shorts and your tits perfectly in her eye level as you relaxed and enjoyed the beginning of your high. you looked tired, but blissful and almost angelic. her heart ached and longed for you, tired of her desperate stage antics just for an ounce of your attention, and a second to stare into your pretty eyes.

she wanted you so bad. she wanted your body, of course, but she wanted your heart even more. her chest twinged with pain every time she heard you laugh loudly at someone else's joke, or when she pretended to be asleep as you got fucked by some random chick in your bunk after a show. your moans were just too pretty to sleep through, and she wanted to commit them to memory so she could imagine it was you under her every time she had a quick fuck on a bathroom counter.

she always left those girls satisfied, and she gained quite the reputation as a good lay among the fanbase, but it was never enough. every time she made a girl cum on her tongue, or fucked someone until they were dripping all over her strap, she just imagined it was you. not as a one-night thing, but as her girlfriend.

of course that would never happen. you didn't do relationships. you were a rockstar and you were on the road constantly, who had the time? you only wanted to get off and forget a girl's name the next morning. you would never want ellie. you would never love her, never belong to her, never moan "i love you" as she fucked her strap into you over and over-

"earth to ellie?" you looked at her concerned, your eyes wide.

"oh shit, sorry. my bad." she had drifted into her own mind, and had been holding the blunt, sitting and dreaming about you for the past few minutes, without addressing you or caring to even pass the blunt back.

"it's fine, are you okay?"

"yeah, m'good."

"okay, will you pass me the blunt then?"

ellie didn't know what came over her. maybe it was her starting to feel her high, the slight fuzziness in her brain, or maybe it was just exhaustion.

"actually, no."

"no??" you responded, looking both offended and confused.

"no, we're gonna talk instead."

"ellie we can talk and smoke-"

"no, i need you to hear me."

"okay, els, you're freaking me out." you backed away from her slightly, your eyes narrowed, confused by the change from her usual kind nature to this abruptness and rudeness.

"sorry, i don't mean to scare you, i just..." she sighed. "i'm fucking tired of this shit. i'm tired of what's going on with us. it needs to end." shock was evident across your face.

"ellie, what? are you tired of the band, a-are you tired of me?"

"no! i mean, yeah, but that's not it."

"ellie just fucking spit it out!"

"i'm in love with you!"

your eyes softened, and your mouth gaped slightly.

"i'm in love with you and i have been for a while," ellie's voice quieted, and she looked down at her lap, unable to meet your gaze. "i'm tired of pretending like i don't want something with you. all those stage antics, fooling around and flirting with you in front of our fans? i just want you to look at me. and i fuck around with the fans because i have to distract myself from you or else i'll lose my mind. and i'm fucking tired of hearing you fuck other girls out there when i know i could treat you so much better. i just want you, and i'm tired of pretending that i don't." ellie sucked in a deep breath, almost winded from her rant. she slowly looked up, to find you looking at her with tears in your eyes.

"wha-," she started before you were practically leaping into her lap. you grabbed her face in your hands, forcing her to look at you.

"els, you have no idea how long i've waited to hear that."

you crashed your lips onto hers, meeting in a messy and desperate kiss. she whined into your mouth as you licked at her bottom lip, relishing in the fact that you were finally able to kiss her. pulling away, you left her breathless.

"sooo, you feel the same way?" ellie was flushed bright red, but all you could stare at was the love in her eyes and the prominence of the small freckles all over her nose and cheeks.

"yeah, i do. i love you, els."

"fuck me..."

"planning on it," you quipped back with a giggle and a smirk on your face.

"oh no, i didn't mean- we don't have to if you don't want to. we can go out on a date first, take it slow if you-" you stopped her ramblings with a kiss.

"els, i've been wanting to do this for so long. we're gonna this right now, okay? unless you don't want to, or?"

"no no i definitely want to i just wanted to make sure you didn't feel like we were rushing this."

"not at all, baby," you said with a smile, returning your lips to hers as as the kiss quickly got heated. ellie was whining into your mouth as her hands found your hips and your hands started to travel up under her wife pleaser. you started to tease her, finding that she had gone without a bra as your fingers brushed the underside of her small tits, making her shiver. her hands traveled lower on your body, cupping your ass and massaging lightly as you both moaned quietly, full of desperation and overwhelmed from the relief of the pent-up tension between you.

"fuck, els, go ahead and lay back for me,"

ellie looked up at you with a puzzled look on her face. "what, oh no, you really don't have to, this isn't about me."

"i promise i want to, okay? now lay back and let me play with that pretty pussy."

ellie nodded reluctantly, before laying back on the bed. you slid down to the floor so you were kneeling between her spread thighs, taking in the sight before helping ellie slide her boxers down her legs.

you could've cum from the scene before you. ellie was looking up at you with pure need in her eyes, desperate to feel your mouth, your fingers, whatever you would give her. she was absolutely dripping, so worked up just from kissing you, and her pussy was so pretty. she had a gorgeous happy trail leading down to her hairy pussy, and you couldn't believe it was all just for you.

"again, you really don't have to, girls usually don't-"

"shut up and let me taste you"

you dove in, your tongue finding her clit and causing her to moan above you, her thighs closing around your head before your grabbed them and pinned them to the bed. you finally reach her needy hole, already clenching and dripping for you as you start to fuck into her. you were moaning at the sweet taste of her as she pleaded above you.

ellie feels like she's in a dream. the girl she's been miserably pining over for months actually loves her back, and now that girl is between her thighs doing magical things with her tongue. already she's overwhelmed because no one's really ever pleasured her like this before, and she still can't believe that it's you that's making her feel like this.

"gonna use my fingers now, okay?"

ellie can only let out a high pitched whine as you take you hand off of one of her thighs, and bring it to her hole as your tongue finds her clit again. you suck lightly on her throbbing clit as you plunge your fingers in, slipping in easily from all her arousal and your spit.

you look up at her, making eye contact as you find that sweet spot inside her, speeding up the pace of your fingers to hit that spongey spot over and over again. ellie was seeing stars, and she was already embarrassingly close to cumming.

"fuck...gonna......cum....fuck"

"shh, baby, just relax. cum on my face els, i know you can do it baby."

without warning, her thighs tremble uncontrollably and she gushes all over the lower half of your face. you fuck her through her orgasm, slowly pumping your fingers in and out as you lick up her juices and carefully leave feather-light kisses all over her sensitive pussy.

she sits up on her elbows, smiling down at you as you finally pull away from her, putting your soaked fingers in your mouth and sucking, tasting her once more.

"holy fuck, baby. you're gonna be the death of me," ellie teases breathlessly. "now get your ass up here so i can return the favor."

you obey, climbing up into her lap. she smirks knowingly when she feels the wet fabric of your sleep shorts touch her thigh. her hands find the hem of your tank top, meeting your eyes for permission before slowly pulling the clothing off of you. she gasps when she sees that her suspicions were correct.

adorning your pretty puffy nipples are cute heart-shaped nipple piercings. her mouth gapes wordlessly, and you start to get worried at her silence.

"do you not like them?"

"oh my god, no, baby, i love them, i'm just speechless because they're so fucking pretty."

"oh," you giggle at her astonishment. "do you wanna suck on them?"

ellie doesn't even answer you before her mouth is latching onto your left tit, bringing her hand up to circle and pinch your right nipple as her tongue starts to flick deliciously and she starts to suck lightly.

you moan and gasp at every suck and lick, the pleasure almost overwhelming on your sensitive nipples. you grab ellie's hair harshly, pulling her hair impossibly closer, and feeling yourself soak your shorts even more when ellie moans at your roughness.

you start grinding yourself on ellie's thigh, seeking pleasure and relief from the wet mess that is now between your legs. "ellie…mmmf….need your fingers baby."

only continuing to worship your tits, ellie takes her free hand and snakes it down into your pants, moaning when she feels how you've dripping down your inner thighs. she circles your clit lightly before finding your hole and sliding two fingers in. her fingers move slowly, as she wants to savor the moment and the feeling of your puffy nipples in her mouth.

she continues alternating between your tits, making them shine in the light from all her spit. you move your hips to the rhythm of ellie's fingers, fucking them deeper into you. ellie is relentless on your tits, absolutely fixated on them as well as the feeling of your dripping and clenching pussy on her fingers.

you moans start to get louder as you let our desperate pleas for your release, babbling incoherently.

"ellie, please let me cum, oh god i just wanna cum."

ellie detaches from your nipple for just a few seconds to answer you, "cum for me baby, never said you couldn't."

and so you do, feeling your release drip all over ellie's hand as she enjoys the last few moments of her mouth on your tits, sucking on them through the waves of your orgasm before finally moving away, not wanting to painfully overstimulate you.

you're both speechless, just enjoying the bliss of your orgasms that is heightened by the few hits you took earlier.

"wow," you say, your thoughts too flighty to think of a more coherent statement.

"yeah, wow." ellie agrees.

wordlessly, she kisses your forehead and moves to place you down on the bed. she grabs washcloths and clean clothes from your bunk, cleaning you and herself up, wiping away all the sweat and cum. she helps you into your new clothes, and she dresses herself in comfortable sweats before moving to lay down next to you.

your mind is now clear of the fog from your orgasm, but the exhaustion has finally hit you, and you feel yourself drifting off as ellie pulls you into her muscular arms.

"love you els"

"love you more than you'll ever know, baby"

1 YEAR LATER ...

"thank you so much madison square garden, you've been amazing! have a great night, we love you new york!!" you call out in the roaring crowd, signaling the end of your show as you make your way off stage, ellie and dina in tow.

you enter the green room, in disbelief and still riding the high of the show as you're met with the sight of your opening acts relaxing and enjoying the refreshments and peace of backstage.

"holy fuck babe, i can't believe we just played the garden!!" ellie comes up behind you, scooping you up in her arms and kissing you passionately.

"i know els!! i'm so proud of us!!"

"get a room you two," dina grumbles, making you roll your eyes playfully.

"babe? that's a surprise," a voice calls from the other side of the room. your head whips around to find it belongs to the lead singer of the first opening act for your show.

"excuse me?" you ask, your tone clearly full of annoyance and surprise.

"well, sorry, just never thought that either of you sluts would commit to a chick," he comments, smiling devilishly at your surprised look.

"what the actual fuck is your problem dude?" ellie shouts, before you can even think of a response.

"in my book, once a slut, always a slut," he taunts, causing a small chorus of laughter among his bandmates.

you and ellie move in sync towards the man, but a flash of dark brown hair is faster. dina steps in front of the man, winds up, and punches him clean in the nose, causing him to stumble backwards and fall as he trips over his own feet.

you and ellie stare in shock at dina's actions.

"i'd suggest you get the fuck out of here," dina says, seething. the band members quickly scramble to the feet before practically sprinting out of the room. "oh, and you're never opening for us again, you sick fucks!"

dina smiles as they exit the room, before turning to you and ellie as you're both still frozen in shock.

"what? no one messes with my favorite couple."

<3 <3 <3

hope y'all liked this!! i honestly love the rockstar au and i'm totally willing to do more fics and drabbles with these characters!! send me some asks if y'all want more :)

[iiconicxpersona]

My Girls. - Part Two

Part One can be read here.

“You’re not Superman Joel and even if you were, it’s okay to have someone else to save you every once in a while.”

Word count: 2.1k

After reuniting with Joel and Ellie at Silver Lake, a mutual decision was made to wait out the winter back in Jackson. Despite Joel’s protests at first, it was obvious that he was in no physical condition to keep walking. Ellie’s stitches to close Joel’s stab wound wouldn’t be strong enough to last, and who’s to say you wouldn’t get ambushed again? That was a risk none of you could take, especially now. Thankfully, you were able to find a working truck that had just enough fuel to last the trip back.

“Sweetheart, I’m okay to drive us back to Wyoming. You and Ellie should get some rest.” Joel insisted.

You shook your head. “No, I’ll drive us back. You and Ellie need more rest than I do.”

“Y/N…”

“Joel, I don’t ask you for much so just let me drive the damn truck!” Your tone came out much more aggressive than you intended it to be, but you were in no mood to debate with him right now. You just wanted to get the three of you out of this damn town as soon as possible. As much as he tried to keep a poker face, Joel’s eyes were much more expressive, and it killed you to see the sorrow within them. “Please.” You added in a much softer tone.

You both turned your heads slightly to look at Ellie, who was already sitting in the passenger seat and staring blankly ahead, and Joel sighed in defeat. “Fine, but at least promise me we’ll switch if you start feeling tired?”

“Hey, uh, ca-can we go n-now? I’m f-fucking freezing.” Ellie spoke up. The once cheery and sarcastic tone in her voice that made you smile everyday was gone and it broke your heart.

You wiped a tear and nodded at Joel. “If I get tired, we’ll switch.”

The first day on the road was spent in silence aside from Joel’s light snoring in the back seat. You were grateful to at least have driving as an excuse to distract you from the awful memory that was Silver Lake, but you did worry about Ellie. She hasn’t slept, and she hasn’t spoken a word since the trip began. You needed to distract her from her thoughts, even for just a moment.

“Hey El, you should check out that CD carrier and see if they have anything good.” You gave her a light smile when she looked at you and she attempted to return one before picking up the small leathery binder.

“This one?” She asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. Let’s hope the assholes that drove this truck at least had good taste in music.”

And for the first time in days, you heard Ellie chuckle and that alone was music to your ears. She unzipped the binder and flipped though each CD. “I don’t really know if any of these are good or not. I’ve never heard of any of these people.” She admitted while still flipping through the binder.

“That’s okay. Just pick anything you want.”

“Oh wait! I’ve heard of Pearl Jam before. I used to listen to them on my Walkman.” She smiled at you, and you felt your heart swell as you smiled back.

“All right, well let’s play it.” You chuckled and held your hand out for her to hand you the CD.

She hesitated and looked back at Joel to see that he was still sleeping. “The music won’t wake him up, will it?”

“We’ll keep the volume down.” You reassured her and she smiled before handing you the CD.

The first song to Pearl Jam’s Ten album began playing and suddenly you were hit with nostalgia. “Oh wow, I haven’t heard this album in so long! Have you heard it before?” You looked at Ellie and she shook her head in response. “You’ll love it, I promise.”

You spent the next couple of days listening to music with Ellie while Joel rested in the back seat, occasionally stopping to stretch your legs or a bathroom break. During that time, she found music she did and didn’t like, which was surprisingly not very different from your music taste. But of all the songs you listened to with her, the one song that touched Ellie the most was Blurry by Puddle of Mudd. In a way, the lyrics reminded you of her and Joel. Surely, she felt the same.

When you finally arrived in Jackson, it felt almost as if you were finally releasing a breath you didn’t realize you were holding since the trip began. You parked the truck not too far from the gate but decided to step out and walk up there by yourself so whoever was on patrol wouldn’t shoot.

“That’s far enough!” A male voice called at you from a distance. “What’s your purpose here?!”

You wondered for a moment why they didn’t recognize you, but then that’s when you realized you still had blood on your hands and face. Joel’s jacket covered up the rest of the mess underneath. You scouted the group and quickly picked Tommy out.

“Tommy, it’s me Y/N! I need your help! Joel’s hurt!”

Tommy and Maria rushed forward the minute you said your name. “Where is he?” Tommy asked once he was close enough to you.

The house Tommy and Maria gave the three of you last time felt more comforting the second time around. After the local doctor took care of Joel, Maria stopped by and gave you each a hot plate of food and some fresh clothes. Ellie was the first to shower, then you went afterwards. While you stood in the middle of the tub and watched all the dirt and once dry blood run down the drain, that’s when you finally decided to let out all the bottled-up emotion. You sobbed not just because of what happened to you, but at what happened to Joel and Ellie. She has yet to tell you what David did to her, and you wouldn’t dare press her for answers. Ellie will come out on her own time.

Once you finally exited the shower, Ellie and Joel were sitting side by side on the bed eating their food and enjoying each other’s company.

“When you found me at that other town, you called me ‘baby girl’. Then when you hugged me and Y/N, you called us ‘your girls’.” Ellie started off and Joel nodded slightly. “Did you mean that?”

You stayed hidden in the hallway while you listened in. Out of fear, you and Joel never once solidified the idea of having a relationship. This trip with Ellie was supposed to be a temporary partnership, nothing more and nothing less. The agreement was for you, Joel and Tess to work together to get Ellie to the Fireflies safely and then after you would go your own way while Tess and Joel went their own way as well. However, Tess dying during the trip was not part of the plan and neither was your growing affection for one another. You couldn’t deny the feelings you were starting to have for Joel, especially when he would look at Ellie and you could see a small glimpse of the man that he once was; a loving and protective father. You would also be lying if you said you haven’t thought about the kiss you gave him and wondered what it would be like to have him kiss you back.

Joel cleared his throat. “Yeah, I meant it. You and Y/N are my girls, and Ellie I can’t begin to tell you both how sorry I am that I wasn’t able to protect you.”

“Joel, please don’t blame yourself for any of that shit. We all did what we could with what we had to protect each other. Now we’re here and we’re safe. They’re not. That’s all that matters.”

Ellie’s words brought tears to your eyes. She may have had the mouth of a sailor, but her heart of gold really came through when it was necessary. You could feel yourself getting emotionally attached to the kid, almost motherly like, even though you knew you shouldn’t be.

“Even so, I promise that’s never gonna happen again. I’ll make sure of it.” Joel said.

You wiped the remaining tears off your face and joined them, you and Joel taking your places on either side of Ellie. The three of you made yourselves comfortable on the king-sized bed and for the first time in days Ellie finally fell asleep. You gently brushed her hair out of her face with your fingers and smiled at her, meanwhile Joel couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He whispered.

You looked up at him. “Sorry for what?” Even though you knew exactly what he was sorry about.

“I should’ve been there to protect you. To protect her. I let you both down and I—”

“No, Joel.” You interrupted. “You didn’t let us down. You almost died back there, Joel. If anything, we would’ve felt like we let you down if we had listened to you when you told us to leave.” You reached over to him and gently cupped one side of his face in the palm of your hand. He didn’t hesitate to place his own hand on top of yours and kiss your inner wrist. “You’re not Superman Joel and even if you were, it’s okay to have someone else to save you every once in a while.”  

It had occurred to him right then and there that you two were indeed saving him, not just physically but emotionally as well. Will his heart ever completely heal from the pain of losing Sarah? Absolutely not, but you and Ellie were slowly filling the hole in his heart that had been empty for the past twenty years. Every day felt more complete with you two around and he was not going to let anyone try to take that away from him ever again.

“I know you said you planned on taking off on your own once this mission is over. Do you still plan on doing that?” His thumb gently rubbed circles on the back of your hand.

You shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure of what I want anymore. Everything’s changed since the day we left the Boston QZ. We’ve changed.” You then looked down at Ellie and smiled. “She changed us.”

Joel’s gaze followed yours once you pulled your hand away and stroked her hair. A half smile forming on his lips as he looked at the sleeping child. “Yes, she has.” Joel stared at you two for a moment longer before reality had once again set in. He knew he shouldn’t get used to this. Just like everyone else in his life, you and Ellie were only temporary and he should know better than to get attached. No matter how badly he wanted to at least convince you to stay with him. He sighed and the smile from his face had once again disappeared as he slowly stood up from the bed.

“Where are you going?” Your voice barely above a whisper.

“You should get some rest. I’ll, uh, I’ll be downstairs keeping watch.”

You knew his response was bullshit. There was no reason to keep watch right now, especially here in Jackson. “Joel, you need to rest too.”

“I’ve done enough resting for the past couple of days. I’m fine.” And just like that, sensitive and sweet Joel was gone.

You sighed and nodded in agreement. You didn’t have the energy to argue with him. When Joel had his mind set on something it was hard to get him to change course, even though you wished he would just this once. That was the military discipline in him talking. As soon as Joel stepped out of the room you held Ellie close in your arms and let the tears fall from your eyes without making a sound until your heartache had finally put you to sleep.

While you and Ellie slept, Joel made his way back upstairs to the bedroom and stood above staring at the two of you holding each other in a peaceful sleep. Ever since Sarah was born this was all he wanted for her: a mother who loved her unconditionally. He had dreamed of one day seeing this exact image when he would come home from a late shift; his wife and daughter asleep in his bed as they attempted to wait up for him. While Ellie wasn’t Sarah and you weren’t his wife and this wasn’t his home, the fact that the empty space on the other side of Ellie was specifically for him made his heart swell in his chest. You two were his home, no matter how much he tried to deny it. The half smile once again formed on his lips before he slowly leaned down to kiss you on your temple.

“My girls.”  

A/N: I'm not entirely sure if I want this to be a series or not. I was just anxious to write a second part. I hope you all enjoy!

[sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare]

A Poet Could Not But Be Gay—part 1

Pairing: Ellie Williams x f!reader

summary: It's your first day of a new semester and you don't know anyone in your class... That is until a beautiful stranger introduces herself to you.

warnings: mutual pining, college!au, reader has no rizz, anxiety, English class

a/n: MDNI, please! I'm so fucking nervous about writing this. I've written headcanons before (which no one will ever lay their eyes on) and now I wanna writing a whole fic??? Also, the outfits are ones that I would wear if I had the money :) By the way, the title is from my favourite poem in the entire world and I just thought it fit perfectly.

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Waking up from a fitful sleep, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. First day of this hopefully decent semester, you thought, you fucking got this! Your therapist had suggested that you should start the day with positive affirmations and you were determined to make her proud, even if they were slightly aggressive.

You walked over to your closet, looking at the array of colours and fabrics. You had always loved clothes; it had always been such a fun way to express yourself. You liked your outfit to compliment the weather so, given that today was a warm and breezy day, you decided to go with something flowy. Which colour would go with the green of the unmowed grass, the vibrant blue of the cloudless sky, or the yellow of the overgrowing but (let's face it) charming dandelions?

You had to choose a lilac dress with which you paired plain white sneakers.

By the time you were done admiring yourself in the mirror and repeating variations of "hottie alert" and "is it hot in here or is it just me", you were almost late to leave. You quickly double-checked that you had all your supplies in your bag and grabbed a granola bar before bolting out of your apartment.

~

You got to school early enough to find your class. It wasn't your first semester here but these halls were like a labyrinth and you didn't want to be late.

After that class, you were able to get to the next one 10 minutes early. Some might say you were too early but you were eager to start this course: 18th Century Poetry. You had fallen in love with Romantic poetry in your first year of university and you wanted to read every word the era had to offer.

The minutes rolled by and you leaned against the wall bouncing your leg in anticipation. With only 3 minutes to spare, a tall, beautiful girl sat next to you with a polite smile. You smiled back, the smell of lavender shampoo hitting you as she turned her head toward the front of the class. Letting your gaze roam across her face, you noticed the countless freckles that kissed her nose and cheeks which were slightly covered by the stray strands of auburn hair. You repressed a smile when she sniffled, making her nose crinkle for a second. You let yourself look lower but became flustered at the sight of her perfect lips and quickly looked lower. You then noticed a tattoo peeking from underneath the flannel she'd rolled up to her mid-forearm.

The things she could do to me... you thought, lost in the sight of her. It was then that she moved her head slightly and you could see a small smirk. Shit! Did I fucking say that out loud dammit I'm gonna have to drop this class if she heard that!

While you were mentally cursing yourself, you still had not taken your eyes off her so she interrupted your thoughts. "You know, it's rude to stare," she said, amused, turning her head completely towards you now with a growing smirk.

"Uh yeah! Sorry," you started, "I just... uh... I hadn't expected anyone to sit there and then you sat there, obviously 'cause you're here, and so you caught me off guard and uh..." you were scrambling for something, anything to say for her to not think you were a weird creep. "Uh — Oh! I was just admiring your tattoo! It's really pretty." You smiled, hoping she wouldn't notice the burning blush forming on your face and neck.

She chuckled, looking down at her arm. God, I could listen to that sound forever.

"What, this old thing?" she replied, tracing the lines of the ink on her skin.

"It's beautiful. And it's really well done," you told her, your hand going to touch the leaves. Luckily, you caught yourself before she noticed. Embarrassing yourself once in front of this girl was enough for you today. "How long have you had it?" you asked her, desperate to keep talking to her despite your fear of what may come out of your mouth.

She looked up at you, letting you see the plethora of green in her eyes, "I got it a few years back. Decided I wanted something nice to look at instead of..." she trailed off. "Anyway, what about yours?" she asked.

You looked down at your own arm, mirroring her previous actions and feeling the bumpiness of a recent tattoo. "It's, uh..." you giggled nervously, "It's a few months old." you managed.

The girl reached up and traced the heart submerged in daffodils on your arm. You tensed, feeling a delicious burn that followed her fingers. You were desperately trying to control your increasing heartbeat when she asked, "Why daffodils?" She looked into your eyes with genuine curiosity. No one had ever been this curious about you after a few minutes of talking! You were enamoured with this girl and you didn't even know her name.

"It's what I imagine my favourite poem looks like." She looked on, encouraging you to say more. "I fell in love with Romantic poetry, but I specifically loved this poem so I thought, 'fuck it' and slapped it onto my arm," you replied.

She looked as though she was deep in thought and opened her mouth to respond when your professor started the lesson. Your head snapped to the front, but from the corner of your eye, you could see her look at you for a few more seconds before she focused her attention on the professor.

Toward the end of the lesson, she shifted closer to you and slid a small piece of paper across the desk. You picked it up and read, I'm Ellie btw you bit the insides of your cheeks to suppress your growing smile, and your heart fluttered when you saw the (; she had drawn at the bottom of the paper. That's just a normal smiley face. Don't read too much into it. A lot of people draw winking smiley faces; it's normal! Ah fuck I've been staring at it for too long she's gonna think I'm a freak.

With that, you ripped the corner off of a page in your notebook and started writing your own name. That was the easy part; the hard part would be deciding what to draw next to it. A star? No that was too basic. Definitely not a peace sign. A smiley face was out of the question. You wouldn't copy her. You decided on a simple, five-petalled flower.

By the time you were done, you saw her stand up and realized the class had been dismissed. You quickly stood up, tapped her shoulder, and gave her your scrap of paper without a word. She smiled as she read it and finally said, "Nice to meet you y/n," as she extended her hand.

You let out a small laugh, your shaking hand meeting her soft one, "Nice to meet you too Ellie."

You stood there for a few seconds when you both realized how awkward this was. She pulled her hand away first and said, "Well, um, I'll see you next class, y/n. This was fun!" She was already walking away.

"Yeah, for sure, Ellie!" your smile faltered at the space she'd created, "See you later!" And she was gone.

~

Later that night, you were video chatting with your best friend, telling her about everything that hat happened in your second class, "... and then we shook hands, Taylor! Like what the fuck! That's so weird but it was so perfect." you drew out the last word.

Taylor laughed and squealed at you. "Dude that's straight out of a movie! Are you kidding me! What's her last name, I wanna see what this girl looks like."

You groaned, "She didn't give me a last name. I have to wait for Wednesday to see her perfect face again!" Just then, you heard a ding from your laptop where your long-forgotten homework was still open. "Great, I just got an email from my poetry prof 'cause she forgot to tell us about a 'small 500-word paper' due next class, fuck me."

"That sounds riveting. I'll leave you to your super fun homework. I have a supper to get ready for anyway but I'll see you tomorrow!" You said your goodbyes and an hour later you were halfway done with your work.

Ugh, I have no energy to do this bullshit. If only I could see Ellie, I might have some motivation to keep going. Even just thinking her name summoned butterflies in your belly. The butterflies are at fault for what happened next.

You pulled up the email your prof had sent an hour ago and clicked on recipients. The thing you loved about older profs was their inexperience with technology. Someone younger would hide the recipients, but this woman did no such thing. How many Ellies could there be in this class? you thought.

As it turns out, there were two, Ellie Burke and Ellie Williams. You opened Facebook and started looking. You had no luck with Burke, unless your Ellie was a middle-aged woman or a short blonde, so you started typing Williams. That's when you saw a picture of the charming girl you had met earlier that day. Her face was sunkissed, her hair was wispy, and she was standing outside next to a tall, bearded man. They were both laughing at something beyond the camera and you couldn't help but smile with them.

You clicked on her profile and scrolled through endless pictures of her. There was even the occasional picture of a drawing. You looked at her most recent one. It looked like space ripping through the paper. Endless nothingness trying to spread across a finite page.

You were so enthralled by its beauty you had forgotten it was Ellie's until after you pressed like. Fuck you quickly clicked again to erase your like. Will she get the notification? It was only a few seconds. Who even checks Facebook anymore? Her notifications are probably off, right?

Your thoughts were interrupted by an incoming message on your phone. You picked it up swiftly needing Taylor to help you through your spiral but you saw someone else's name instead.

Ellie Williams: Hey stalker (;

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Part 2 Part 3

art by Gtuckster on DeviantArt

a/n: wtf I thought I knew where this was going and I must have blacked out 'cause I deviated a little. whoops. There will be more talking between the reader and Ellie but I wanted to make it as organic as possible and not rush things. I have a rough plan of where I want the story to go so pls lemme know what you'd like to see in the next part. I'm excited to see what y'all think!!

tag: @lonelyfooryouonly

[tendebill]

What would happen if you threw eveyone of your ocs in a room together?

Im just askin for... research... purposes...

Lets go with that.

[oc]

ok i have some silly and light-hearted ideas for this actually xddd

(also im limiting this to main ocs or ocs i consider to be important or fun enough for the purposes of this)

if not for the way the entirety of the main plot plays out, i think Maffi and Huen might've gotten along. if this was in a vaccuum and not in any particular spot in the story, i think Maffi and Huen (and maybe even Seph who knows) would be in a corner just fucking talking about politics and philosophy and shit.

Ellie and Bitzy would probably be making friendship bracelets, or talking about comics or any sort of pop-culture interests that they share. probably would recommend fanartists and fanfics to each other too. a few people would try to join them, but they either dont understand the popculture of their worlds (which is very similar, if not the same) or dont care enought about it. theyre mostly left to their own devices. overtaken by the 'tism.

Angelica would probably be telling stories of her time as a treasure/artifact hunter and an actual godslayer. if Hinata's there with Bitzy, they would probably catch up and tell the stories together, since Hinata went on a lot of adventures with Angelica when they were younger.

David would be very... put off by Huen's mere presence. even if all of the plot didn't happen and this whole "get-together" wasn't canon, i think Huen's aura would just scare David shitless. you could even say he dislikes her on the basis of bad vibes alone. which is mutual, considering Huen HATES when someone is taller than her, and David's got a solid 10cm on her. yea, he avoids her like the plague and she does not mind (maybe intentionally sends him threatening looks across the room). actually i think almost everyone would avoid Huen to the best of their ability.

maybe Dots would hang out with David a bit? they have a sort of reluctant friendship in the later stages of the story. she feels pity for him, despite his own actions being the main reason why he suffers, so she helps him a bit when no one else is there to put up with him anymore (i might elaborate on that in another post, cuz i think its interesting lol). oh, i like to think she'd share her recipies with him? he can't cook, but he'd like to learn and she has a whole backlog of healthy meals to share :3 also she definitely recommends him some cool self-care products. also i think they share a love of home makeover shows (tho David wouldn't admit it). just wait until Ellie introduces them to the sims.

if TomJulCent are there... i have a headcanon that Thomas and Seph get along really well. in general i think Thomas Julia and Vince would like Sephoras and vice versa. Tom would drag Seph away from the debate going on in the corner and they'd get up to some tomfoolery (more or less legal, depending on the mood) or just talk and joke with each other.

Oh, Vincent would probably have a lot to talk about with Cyan, since they're both musicians! i can imagine them first hitting it off and getting along really well, until one of them says some "controversial" opinion about a certain artist or even a whole genre of music and all hell breaks loose. Julia and James (or Angele) would probably separate them, but it'd be too late and now they're sworn enemies.

speaking of, Julia and Angele would get along. they've both got "i am done with these idiots, but theyre my idiots" as their life motto and i think they would have a lot of fun complaining to each other, considering they would understand what the other has to put up with.

also, since David, Huen, Maffi and Seph all like playing chess, i could imagine them staging a mini tournament. no idea who would win, but it'd be worse than playing uno. Huen would definitely underestimate David, who is REALLY GOOD at chess, and it would piss her off. Seph and Maffi's duel would be the least "aggressive" and all in good fun (they probably play chess together anyway regularly so yk), Seph and David would insult each other (in good fun too, but it'd get brutal at times), Seph and Huen would be filled with easy conversations with an underlying meaning behind every word they say, trying to throw the other off (Huen would outmanipulate Seph pretty soon though, lets be real), Maffi and Huen would be dead quiet, not even a twitch of an eyebrow in sight, stone faced and focused on the game and nothing else, Maffi and David would be tense as fuck, but not in a negative way, since the two of them have played against each other countless of times, so they have a lifetime long score to keep updating.

James and Dots would be checking up on everyone. Lucy would be sitting quietly in a corner with a guitar or a ukulele to provide some ambiance, since she's not much for socializing in big groups. Angelica and David would have an arm wrestling competition at some point (David would call bullshit on some part of Angelica's stories and it'd escalate), which both Maffi and Huen would scoff at (but Maffi would obviously be on her wife's side all the way) while Seph would be ALL IN for this, give him front row seats and some popcorn, he's placing bets as we speak.

if Dominica got involved though.... pure chaos. she would shapeshift into every other fucking person and slowly, overtime make people think they were losing it. hallucinating entire conversations, missing important bits information, learning things that turn out to be untrue, until, eventually, everyone's at each other's throats over something they allegedly said or did. by which point Dominica would sit back and enjoy the view, with only Seph and Huen remaining, as they'd be pretty used to her bullshit and antics by this point and would have refused to fall for them again.

also i always loved the idea of my ocs singing and playing music together. ive had an idea of Lucy teaching Seph the basics of how to play guitar (he's horrible at it). i think Cyan would have the most random assortment or "hey I can play that", and so on. also i made Cyan James and Seph (and Ellie) into a band AU at one point for funsies but thats besides the point lol

also if this happened at ANY point in the story it would be a category five shitstorm, tears shed, feelings hurt, someone would die, the room would be trashed.

tysm for the question bro!! i hope my answer was to your satisfaction xd (if im crazy enough, i might use some of this for oc doodle inspo)

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

ilym >:3 you are beautiful >:3 and fantastic >:3 and amazing >:3 and one of my favorite writers >:3 and i’m so lucky to have met you >:3

WARNING: LOTS OF HEARTS BELOW ILY

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖you💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖are💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖so💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖lovely💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖and💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖beautiful💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖HELP💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖ILYSM💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖mwah💖💖💖

[kiwiwrites6]

Little tease

(A/N: I got a request coming out tomorrow! Make sure to look out for that👀 for now, here’s a lil something to help with the wait <3)

R18!

This is filth.

Enjoy.

Minors DNI!

Waking up next to Ellie was one of life’s greatest pleasures. Her pretty features were highlighted by the sun seeping in through the curtains. Her nose would slightly twitch and scrunch up as she mumbled incoherently in her slumber. Her hair was stuck to the pillow beneath her head and in front of her face as her mouth dangled open with a little bit of drool coming out.

No matter how messy her hair got or how many times her drool has gotten on you, you couldn’t get over her. She was one of the most beautiful girls in Jackson and you hated that she couldn’t see it. Her toned arms around your waist holding you tight against her made your heart swoon. The way she would wrap herself around you made you coo at how much of a softie she was. Stretching out your body, you groaned before turning around in her arms. The both of you were naked, littered with hickeys and scratch marks when you had suddenly remembered the events of last night.

Ellie had come home from a long patrol and showered before she was all up on you. You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of the stoic Ellie Williams becoming needy around you. You loved how she would take care of you, outside of the bedroom as well. The evening started out normal but with you two constantly making out with each other and the mutual teasing, you two had lost your restraints and ended up fucking each other. It was so passionate and full of lust and love that you swore you could still feel her tongue on you.

You had suddenly felt that same warm feeling in the pit of your stomach, the ache on your nether regions becoming too much to bare. Your mind was racing with all the things Ellie did to you last night. You had tried to press your legs together to release some tension but Ellie’s leg was wedged in between your own as you two cuddled. You looked up at her again to see her still asleep. You wanted to wake her up to help you and your situation but you wanted to do it right. A small smirk came across your features as a devious thought came to your head.

You started to softly kiss her neck, making sure to lick and softly bite at her soft spots. You only got a little more aggressive when you heard her softly moan as she pulled you closer while stirring awake. You giggled at her as you bit down on her neck again, causing her to sigh out. “Good morning Ellie.” You rasped as you licked over the fresh hickey you gave her. You gently kissed up her jaw as another sigh left her lips. “mornin baby. How’d you sleep?” She asked as her hands now snaked down to your hips, squeezing them in the process. Her morning voice sounded husky and quiet yet loud enough for it to stir that pool of arousal in your stomach. You bit your lip before biting along her jaw. “Good. I hope I wasn’t too rough on you last night.” You giggled as she blushed and looked away.

You brought her face closer to yours before softly kissing her lips. She softly kissed back before you felt your neediness come back. You tried so hard to contain it for your plan, but once you felt Ellie shift her leg in between your own, a small whimper left your throat, making you blush madly. The both of you pulled away and as you did, you saw Ellie smirking at you. “Someone’s a little excited… What are you thinking about angel?” She asked you as she got on top of you, trying to take control of the situation. Her hands started to softly roam your body, making you squirm. You slapped her hands away before flipping the both of you over.

You got on top of her before kissing her again. Your lips trailed over her cheek before they landed on her earlobe. “I’m thinking about how good you fucked me last night” you mumbled as your hands started to lightly trail over her breasts. Your fingers ghosted over her nipples as she let out a shaky breath. “I can’t stop thinking about how good you were for me” you purred in her ear, biting her earlobe in the process. Your lips started trailing down her body again but at a much slower pace. Ellie started to squirm, at a loss for words at your newfound boldness. Waking up to your lips hungrily kissing her neck made her feel a familiar flutter in her abdomen. She knew you were thinking about it the moment she heard that small whimper. A surprised moan left her lips as she felt you grind your hips down against hers. You kept a slow and steady pace, making sure Ellie payed for how badly she teased you last night. Her hands went to your hips to control the pace when you grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them to the headboard. You tutted at her before licking a stripe up her neck. You bit down when you got to her sweet spot causing another moan to leave her lips. ‘When did this happen? What were you planning?’ Ellie’s mind was racing but one thought was overpowering all the other ones; she knew you were gonna destroy her this morning. “Baby…” she whined out as your pace quickened for a second only for you to cease your movements completely. You continued kissing down her body before you were met with her glistening core. You smirked as Ellie turned her head away from your hungry gaze, making you chuckle. “What’s the matter baby? Can’t handle a little teasing?” She glared down at you before you abruptly grabbed her thighs and dragged her down on the bed, pulling her closer to your wanting mouth. “Enough teasing.” She tried commanding you but her voice broke as you blew air onto her sensitive clit. Her hips twitched to meet your tongue and another strangled whimper left her as you kissed above her sex. You kissed her thighs and softly bit her pale, freckled skin. Her writhing was making you dizzy, feeling drunk off the way she gave you puppy eyes.

Her green eyes usually would bore into yours as she would fuck you but you were gonna make this so hard for her. Your tongue licked along lower her lips, causing her to shuffle her hips towards your mouth. You glared at her causing her to glare back before you got up. “Let’s make a deal.” You smirked as you saw her face drop at the sudden loss of contact. She was so needy at this point, she’d do anything to have you eat her out. “I’m gonna tease the fuck out of you. You break even once, tell me to stop, or try to take control, then you won’t be cumming at all. You understand?” Ellie’s mouth dried up as you reached over her and grabbed something from your bedside table. When you were back in her line of vision, she bit her lip at the rope you had in your hand. You grabbed her wrists as you gave her a stern look. “Well?” Seeing you be this commanding was so hot to Ellie. She was usually the one taking control and making you squirm and beg for her, making you her pretty little mess. Seeing this side of you was new, with her figuring it had something to do with her letting you top last night. She wasn’t gonna lie, it felt fucking amazing and she wanted more.

“O-okay.” Ellie’s wrists were now secured in front of her body, but then she felt a sharp tug, causing her to look up at you again. “It begins now.” You said before pecking her lips. “ just tell me if it’s too much okay?” For a brief second, Ellie saw your nervousness creep up, but with a reassuring smile and a soft peck on your lips, she nodded. “Okay princess.” You smiled at her pet name, feeling your heart flutter before your lips went back towards her chest. Your tongue stuck out as you pressed it flat against her needy bud before she bit her lip with a moan at the contact. Your tongue circled it before you completely sucked it, causing Ellie to yelp. Your other hand was trailing patterns on the insides of her thighs, making sure you ghosted over her clit every so often. Ellie kept twitching and whining for you to touch her, and you would respond with warning glances or soft sounds of disapproval, making the Auburn haired girl more impatient. Soon, you started to kiss her ribs, down her stomach and over her hips. You left small bites, and hickeys along your other ones before you went back to you original spot in between her legs.

Ellie being so lost in her neediness, didn’t seem to care about how either of you looked at this point. Your sex crazed eyes told Ellie all she needed to know when it came to you handling her. The way you would dip your head and tongue to make it look like your were about to actually eat Ellie out made her head spin and her toes curl, only for you to teasingly lick along the insides of her thighs. Your lips pressed everywhere but where she desperately needed you. Hearing Ellie pant and watching her eyelids flutter whenever you would apply a soft kiss above her clit made your insides twist into a knot. “(Y/N) I swear to fucking god- shit!” Ellie gasped as you bit down on her thigh before softly licking over it. When you pulled away, you saw a bite mark left by your hungry teeth. You glanced at Ellie timidly to see if she was genuinely hurt, but you were met with her eyes locked in on yours, filled with lust.

You smirked as your lips inched inwards, and decided to amp up your advances. Your lips ghosted over her clit, surprising her with a soft kitten lick and a kiss to it. Ellie moaned and bucked her hips upwards to gain more friction when you held her hips down and tutted at her disapprovingly. “Behave.” You warned. Ellie glared down at you but before she could say anything, you pressed your tongue flat on her and swiped along her folds. You tongue fucked her for a little, watching as her eyes rolled back and her teeth nipped at her lips. Ellie let out a small yelp as you harshly sucked on her clit before blowing against it. You loved seeing Ellie this way. Watching as her usual dominance faded with you topping her made you wet. Your fingers ached to go inside her and rail her as deserved, but you wanted to drag this as much as you could.

Ellie on the other hand, was suffering. She didn’t know how capable you were of being this cruel while also showing her that you could take care of her at the same time. She was struggling to keep her hands to herself, but the urge to pull you by your hair and fuck your face was building the more you teased her and the more you tauntingly looked up at her. Your innocent eyes would sparkle as you fluttered them up at her, mocking even your own innocence. Your smirk drove her up the wall. The way your commanding voice halted all thoughts in her brain made her question how she never ever let you take care of her before.

It’s not like she never wanted you to, she just wanted to take care of you. Feeling you give her the attention she’s been craving after almost 3 weeks of non stop patrolling, made her heart skip a beat and made her want more. Looking down at you, Ellie found you staring right up at her as you harshly sucked her clit once more before trailing open mouthed kisses up her trembling body. Ellie keened at the feeling of your lips on her soft spot. Next thing she knew, she felt you smashing your lips on hers with a needy moan of your own. Your lips battled for dominance which Ellie won for a second before you bit down on her lip making her moan at your roughness.

Ellie gasped as she felt your fingers slowly swipe along her opening, gathering up her wetness with them before you sucked them into your mouth. Your eyes bore into her as they fluttered close at her taste. “You taste so fucking good baby” you pecked Ellie’s lips, not giving her time to kiss back before your lips went back on her chest. Your fingers softly massaged her clit causing her to wriggle and pant in your hold. You looked up at her once more and saw her begging you to fuck her with her green doe eyes. Her eyebrows were creased with frustration, being deprived of what she wanted the most from you. You chuckled before gently entering a finger into her. Her legs began to tremble a little as you kept a slow pace until you were a knuckle deep. Ellie was looking up at you as you looked down at your hand, amazed at how good she was being so far.

Ellie’s hands wrapped around your neck before you felt your hair being tugged softly; almost timidly. At the bold gesture, you began to slowly pull your finger out before slamming it back into her. Ellie cried out as you avoided touching her clit. You stood completely still as you looked down at her, as if you were waiting for her to break. Ellie growled at you lowly, causing you to quirk your eyebrows in response. You slowly pulled your finger out, just for two to enter her now.

Throwing her head back, Ellie moaned at how good it felt to be stretched out by your fingers. They gently worked into her causing her head to fill with so many obscenities. Ellie found herself struggling against the restraints, finding it so hard to cave into submission when all she wanted was control. But it felt so fucking good.

A sharp slap on her thigh made her moan and look up at you, watching as you leaned foreword. “Stay still, and be quiet.” Was all you said as you pushed her thighs apart more and let a line of spit trail off your tongue and onto her clit. At this, Ellie’s eyes were blown out, looking back up at you with a gaping mouth as you smirked devilishly while watching your spit trail down her pink folds.

“Fuck baby, you look so pretty like this, taking my fingers like a good girl. I love watching you squirm~” You purred as you continued to pump your fingers into her, slightly curving them up as you teased her clit with your thumb. “I-I need you, princess. P-please- FUCK!” another sharp smack to her thigh and she was now shaking. “What did I fucking say, Ellie? I told you to stay quiet. I didn’t say you could speak, did I?” You asked, ramming your fingers into her faster as her mouth fell open and her head lulled back against her pillow. You weren’t allowing that though. Your other hand trailed up her body, slapping her breast causing her to whine and grind down against your hand. Another smack to her thigh and she was a mess. With pleading eyes, a trembling lip, and tears brimming her eyes, she looked up at you to see a satisfied look on your face. She tried so hard not to break, you were doing so well. You grabbed her jaw making her stare at you as your thumb finally pressed down onto her clit. She let out a small moan as your other thumb traced her bottom lip. “You can move now, but you’re gonna stay quiet. I don’t wanna hear a peep out of you, got it?” She nodded frantically, not even knowing what she was agreeing to. All she knew was that she needed your mouth on her before she fucking broke down. “Don’t make me tell you again, Ellie.” Your fingers continued their ministrations as she now held her hands up to her mouth, biting on her knuckles to keep quiet. You moaned at the sight of that, going down and continuing to eat her out. Your fingers slowed down and began scissoring inside of her, making her hips buck upwards. You moaned against her clit and shook your head, feeling her essence drip into the palm of your hands.

Ellie’s head was fuzzy. She couldn’t think straight anymore, her mouth screwed shut as she felt a knot forming in her stomach. “Look at me, baby. I wanna see you.” You spoke against her clit, looking straight into her eyes with lust like no others. Ellie’s mouth flew open, a moan threatening to spill out when she saw you glare at her. ‘You better not fucking make a sound.’ Was what you would’ve said. Your other hand wrapped around her thigh and over her abdomen to hold her writhing hips down, and she felt her walls tighten around you. She was trying so hard to be good. She wanted to cum for you. She wanted a picture frame of you in between her legs, looking up at her with the same euphoria she looked at you with. Your hips slightly lifted up off the bed, shaking your bottom as you teased her and she wanted nothing more but to slap it. She was panting, eyes rolling back as she felt the knot tightening. She almost let a squeal leave her lips as you sped up the pace, groaning as her wetness started dripping down your chin. “Fuck baby, you look so pretty. You wanna cum for me, hm? You want me to taste you?” Ellie couldn’t help but nod frantically, looking at you like if she looked away you would disappear. “I’m sorry baby, I can’t understand you.” You sat up and wrapped your hand around her throat, pulling her closer to you as you licked her bottom lip before biting it. “Tell me what you want Ellie. You can speak-“ Before you could even finish your sentence, she let out a long groan, grinding her hips against your fingers faster as she threw her head back. “Baby please please please, let me cum I can’t fucking handle it anymore please, I’ve been good, I’ve been so good just pleas- FUCK!!” Your fingers slammed into her now, as you pushed one of her thighs up against her chest to get a deeper angle. You went back down before sucking on her clit, hearing her broken moans as her bonded hands reached down to pull you closer to her before her shaking legs closed around your head. “Fuck baby I’m gonna-“ “fucking do it. Cum for me, Ellie. Be a good girl and fucking cum.”

Just like you told her, she came all over your fingers, moaning as her body violently jerked against the bed, moaning your name repeatedly as she let go of your hair, too overwhelmed to know what to grasp. Your hands reached up to grab onto hers, allowing her to grasp it for dear life as she convulsed beneath you. After a few more seconds, you sat up and kissed up her body, to her lips before smashing them against hers. She moaned softly at the taste, her head reeling as she let you settle her down. She felt so dizzy, panting as you separated from her as you chuckled darkly. She looked up at you, asking you to untie her with her eyes. You softly tutted at her, getting up to position your glistening core before her. “You did so well, my love. Too bad you’re not off the hook yet.”

Ellie knew it was her turn to fucking ruin you. Even if she was tied up she would make sure to leave you whining and trembling for more. “You’re gonna regret that.”

“Make me.”

[clefairymuke]

daydream | chapter one

next chapter

pairing: armin arlert x reader

themes: college/modern au, slowburn, friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, smut

tw: recreational drug use, drinking, explicit sexual content

word count: 1705

The clock was obnoxiously loud with its endless ticking as you struggled to answer yet another dreaded short response prompt, your eyes threatening to trail over to the paper next to yours. You cursed your professor in your head, wondering who had the audacity to dub them "short answer" when answering every nit-picking facet of the question required at least a page-long essay to respond to the prompt in its entirety. The pen would soon break through the paper with how aggressively you were pushing it down. Against your better judgement, you allowed yourself to glance at your friend's paper. All you were able to read was the scrawled cursive "Armin Arlert" at the top before it was pulled from the table and started its journey to the professor's desk. Armin shot you a side eye as he threw his bag over his shoulder, and you returned a feigned apologetic grin. You watched as he waltzed confidently to the front of the room. Everything was so easy for him.

You sighed as he laid his paper on Professor Hange's desk and left. You knew he'd be outside waiting on the bench by the sidewalk when you finally finished; it was looking like he would be there for at least an hour. You tried to focus. What exactly had you learned so far in Biology 220? As far as you knew, the answer was absolutely nothing. After another while of pretending to think while actually berating yourself internally for your lack of studying, you did what you do best: you wrote down 200 words of absolute bullshit and hoped for a passing grade. It had put you through a year and a half of school -- you hoped it wouldn't fail you now.

It made sense for Armin to do well. After all, he was a biology major on the premed track. You, on the other hand, chose English on the form last minute in order to take the least amount of science and math possible. Learning that general education required sequences instead of singular courses had smacked you in the mouth. You erased the last word and fixed your handwriting three times before you finally decided you were finished, taking the paper up front to join Armin's and relishing in the sunlight hitting your face as you left the building.

"How'd you do?" Armin asked sweetly, perched on the nearest of many walkway-side benches along the campus. You saw a coffee in his hand. As you got closer, you noticed one for you sitting next to him. You smiled.

"I honestly think I did fucking awful. I haven't retained anything from Hange's class at all. She's not even a bad teacher -- I think it just isn't for me," you answered, taking a seat and lifting the coffee to your lips. It was your favorite.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. He'd had a haircut only the day before; he always toyed with the prickly hair on the back of his neck for the first few days after one. You wondered if he'd ever get used to having his hair shorter. "I've offered to help you, you know. I always say I'll start studying with you, and you always say we will. Then I end up studying while you lay there on your phone halfway listening."

"Well, midterms are over now. Maybe I'll let you teach me a thing or two before finals. What's important is that spring break starts now." For a moment you could see yourself and Armin laid out on the beach, sun soaking into your skin with the soft crashing of waves present only a few yards away; that was the definition of heaven. You saw Armin grin as he started to pull his bag over his shoulder in preparation for your walk to his dorm. A common misconception about your friend was that he was a stick in the mud; however, this was decidedly the furthest thing from the truth. Although he was perfect academically -- 4.0 GPA, active in student organizations, one of the way-too-happy people that shows the freshmen around campus each year -- he knew how to have a good time. Perhaps it was years of corruption from you and your other friends (Eren and Jean, in particular), but outside of a god-awful science class, he was easily your favorite person to be around.

The two of you walked side by side across campus, chatting idly about the party you both planned to attend that night and the long drive that awaited you come morning. It was the perfect weather out, a sunny and comfortable 70 degrees. Armin was dressed in an old-looking T-shirt advertising some bedroom pop artist you were unfamiliar with, making it more than noticeable how much he had filled out since he bought it. Khaki shorts hung a few inches above his knees. You had to look up at him when you spoke, quite the contrast to the many years your friendship spanned before. His eyes, though, were still the same blue, and that was unlikely to change.

When you arrived at his building, you trudged up the stairs behind him, grateful you would soon be able to sit down. Walking everywhere was not your favorite activity, but the campus was quite small, and driving would be overkill. You waltzed into the room as you did nearly every day, throwing a hand up to greet Eren. He had his arm thrown lazily around a girl you didn't recognize, his half-up half-down hair falling in his face as he nodded back at you with a smile, eyes half-open and glossy red.

You practically threw yourself into Armin's bed, which was neatly made aside from the plush blue blanket that laid across the yellow duvet. You were quickly underneath it, making short work toward comfort as you nuzzled into a pillow. Armin took the time to put his things away and change into loose-fitting charcoal sweatpants before taking a seat at your side, fiddling with a time-passing puzzle game on his phone.

"I think we should just stay in instead of going to the party and taking that trip. I'm pretty comfortable, and I have plenty of sleep to catch up on," you told him, the joke barely present in your voice. He chuckled, leaning back across your legs onto the wall behind him.

"You're required to come to the party," Eren called over to you, taking his lips away from the nameless girl's neck. "We promised Jean. And you're required to come on the trip, because we can't afford the Airbnb without your charitable contribution."

"Besides," Armin chimed in, looking over at you, "you were lucky your request off got approved. Think of the poor souls that are stuck behind the register at Barnes and Noble this week. They wouldn't want you to use their vacation in vain."

"When you put it that way. . ." you laughed, checking the time on your phone. "What time did Jean tell us to come?"

"Nine," Armin responded quickly, switching from his game to Twitter. It was only 4:06, according to the white numbers above the picture of you and Armin at your high school graduation. You had quite a bit of time to kill.

"Want to watch a movie?" you asked the blond boy at your side. You were already holding the Xbox controller before he could reply. You got on Disney+, arguably your favorite part of being in Armin's dorm, then tossed the controller toward him to choose. He chose, as he always did, some superhero movie that you would pretend to hate and secretly love. He looked over at you and grinned wide, pressing play.

As the opening sequence rolled, you figured it wasn't the worst way to waste time.

---

The party was lame in the best way. Of course, no one outside of the typical circle had shown -- Connie and Sasha, Marco, the current girl hanging from Eren's hip (Ellie, maybe?), Ymir and Historia, and Eren's sister, Mikasa. Or, at least, he called her his sister. She was adopted -- and desperately in love with him -- and you wished he would avoid calling her that for the sake of saving face. Watching her sit angrily next to him while he toyed with the girl's hair was almost as awkward as the way Jean sat next to Mikasa, beer in his hand and flirting without shame. Connie, Sasha, and Ymir spent nearly the entire party trying to convince Historia and Marco to try smoking on Connie's new bong. Between all of these preoccupied people, you and Armin were left sharing a recliner, passing a blunt back and forth and discussing the plans for tomorrow.

Jean's apartment was trashed in the way a 19-year-old boy's would typically be, soda and beer cans lining the tables and clearly visible dust on his furniture. If you squinted, you'd see he was using his U.S. History textbook as a rolling tray. Professor Erwin would be disappointed.

Your thoughts had begun to become fuzzier and fuzzier. You could tell Armin was feeling the same by the way he giggled uncontrollably at a stupid joke Connie made across the room, causing you to chuckle. He was pretty when he laughed, white teeth poking past his lips as his clear blue eyes squinted into almost nothing. It didn't help that they were already half-closed, pink and red lining his blue irises. You and Armin were social smokers, and drinkers, and what came with that was the unfortunate fact that you were both very lightweight.

You listened absentmindedly to the soft R&B Jean was playing, obnoxiously enough, from Pandora on his TV. Every time an ad played, you died a little inside. You found yourself thanking those that didn't come tonight. Eventually, when you were all in some way intoxicated, you all gathered to watch a movie. You had never heard of it, but Jean and Eren were big fans, which meant it was likely some action film with a bit of plot if you squinted at it.

Before the title screen, you had your head laid on Armin's shoulder, gently drifting to sleep.

This was peace.

[cristobalrios]

All of them. All of the joy. Spread it. Fuck you. <3

Spread the Love! Meme | Accepting!

This is an aggressive request to spread joy, but. I will take it.

Also, here's the jerk :p person who requested all of them I mentioned earlier.

1. What's a roleplay blog whose characterization you admire?

So we only have one thread but @therapardalis Thera is fun and honestly what Cris needs at this point in his storyline. He's in an extremely reclusive part of his life and Thera has quite honestly an excellent balance of light conversation ("light" as in small/not delving into details, not content-wise)/asking (and answering) questions and not pushing for details even though he's clearly got some Stuff going on. It's good for him to meet someone like Thera and know he's not the only person going through this kind of thing, and would be more so if/when he learns a bit more about her story and obviously their stories are not identical but they're similar enough in certain ways that it'll be good for him and make him feel less alone.

2. What's a roleplay blog whose writing style you admire?

@agnespjurati (@talvenhenki) Orion, both for Agnes when they RP her and the fics they've written. Also, I know this is stepping out of the RP sphere but shout out to @procrastinatorproject because I adore Lili's fics<3

3. What's a roleplay blog who always has the best plot ideas?

I'm saying Dean @assasenach again because we have the most threads and we talk ooc about ideas/headcanons all the time every day, so.

4. What's a roleplay blog whose artwork/edits/icons you admire?

@musikcr Nix! We just started following each other but her blog is so pretty, honestly. Like I said when I reblogged your promo, your edits are gorgeous.

@heartfledged Sarah's blog is ridiculously gorgeous and also her art is beautiful, whenever she'd post her stuff in the Discord I would have heart eyes. So pretty.

@assasenach Dean has great taste in aesthetic and it's simple compared to the other two mentioned but clean, efficient and pleasing, and I always like the edits he makes.

5. What's the roleplay blog you've been writing with the longest here?

Yeah obviously obviously that's Logan @manenimittliv, February was our, what? 7th anniversary of the first interaction between our first ship Erik/Anna with my Phantom blog @princeofconjurers and their OC (we'd interacted a little bit before that with their Raoul but that was like, a week or something before that, and then at sometime even before that very briefly with their version of Christine's father Gustave Daae but I didn't realize that until sometime later that that was also their blog). We've jumped multiple fandoms together and we pretty much autoship. They're my bff and the only originally online friend I've ever gotten to meet irl (three times) and I love them to death<3

6. What's a roleplay blog who's an absolute joy to talk to ooc?

The people I talk to ooc the most are @manenimittliv Logan and @assasenach Dean my current bffs so obviously I adore talking to them ooc (although I wouldn't say Dean is "joyful" talking to him does make me happy, so before you say anything, shush). I've primarily been talking with @iamselfmade PJ out of character but we're RPing now too but yeah, he's great and I love doing streams with him. I said Serena @empathicstars already for the "friendly mun" thing which honestly this question is rather similar to so maybe I should save some people for that question below, slkdjf

7. What's a roleplay blog you love whose character you didn't know until you started writing with them?

Well, besides OCs, I'm not currently RPing with any canon characters I did not previously know the character before I RPed with them, but I'll say Vasher back when Sarah @heartfledged RPed him on @cosmoshearted (which I would still love to continue/redo if/when you ever revive him as you've said you might do in the past, as well as the stuff with Resool, and I'm always up for stuff with Av<3). I did not know anything about that fandom but it turns out my brother-in-law loves it and he got my mom to start reading those books and I'm just like oh! I've heard of that! That's where Vasher is from (I realized it because my mom mentioned Kelsier who I also heard of from Sarah too) and I will get around to reading it at some point, I promise.

Also, PJ made a blog of a character I don't know and followed me on it and we talked about him and Elnor doing something so I'm gonna put @fifty-one-doc here too

Shout out to the OCs who of course I didn't know until I started writing with them but who I love, Anna @manenimittliv, Lorian/Paris previously Sylar @assasenach, Ellie @mclti, Manny @perfection-reached, Thera @therapardalis, Cheryl @ckingsbury1967, Av @heartfledged, any and all of my friends' OCs! Those are just the ones I'm RPing with rn. Give me all the OCs, I love them.

8. What's a roleplay blog with a friendly mun?

Dany hasn't really been RPing anymore but @empathyvslogic still counts. @heartfledged Sarah is great too. Jeanette @ltbroccoli, Logan @manenimittliv (yes I'm mentioning you again), Jamie @livedtough / @quantumstarpaths, Courtney @starsdestined, Eros @tongowheel, Hope @astraldestiny, Fool @strings-have-been-cut, Gin @alyafae, so many people I'm sure I'm missing some (as well as the ones mentioned above). Honestly everyone is friendly and I love all my mutuals<3

9. What's a roleplay blog whose dedication you admire?

So I've answered this question several times now but I know I did not include @mclti when I talked about multis and though I only roleplay with Ellie, Spyro deserves a mention for that "multis are so dedicated" thing I talked about here. I'm sure I'm missing things again too, but yeah. <3

Also, again I have to do a shout out to Lili even though it's still not RP because @mappinglasirena is a beautiful project and although it's technically more for fics, since that's what Lili writes, I as a Cris and Holo Squad RPer use it too, for RP purposes, so I say it counts as an RP resource blog like I did with the directory. And Lili is dedicated to this and I am here for it. I love our conversations about the tiny little details dearly.

10. What's a roleplay blog that always keeps you pleasantly surprised?

As other people have mentioned, this is kind of a weird question but I'm gonna go with Dean @assasenach. I'm not surprised by anything Dean does anymore, so "keeps" me pleasantly surprised isn't exactly right (although it is for certain things like whenever he compliments me I'm like ????) but this is here because the ship caught me by surprise. Like, OC/Canon (with me playing the canon) is my sweet spot when it comes to ships I fixate on, but I did not know they'd be shipped together until Dean posted a short fic about Cris and Raffi talking about then Sylar but now Lorian, Raffi asking Cris why he accepted his reassignment and Cris asking her what "t'hy'la" means and I was like Oh. Oh I like this, they're really cute (Note: I was already really liking their thread before Dean posted that fic, they had a great dynamic and chemistry and I was here for it) and now we're here.

11. What's a roleplay blog you admire from afar?

Good question. Umm, I'm going to say Jamie @livedtough / @quantumstarpaths because we've talked plenty ooc and we're in several Discords together, I love Jamie, but we haven't actually RPed together and I would love to change that at any time (we have talked about some things in the past throwing ideas around just never got to writing them).

Kame @cadetxtilly / @maldonadonco again we're in a Discord together and ze's really sweet but we haven't RPed, so

And just. Anyone in the Discords I'm active in that I have yet to RP with/have only RPed with a little bit. I love all of you.

[conspiracieys]

basics and relationship for mith clara my beloved

YES.... LETS....

Basics:

What’s their full name?: Clara Morris

What does their name mean? Why were they named that?: she was named Clara by her new dad, Everett, because she didn’t have a name and he decided that she’s his daughter and he has always loved the name Clara! Clara means “clear, bright, famous” and Morris means moorish, or dark and swarthy...

Do they have any nicknames?: hmm... Not YET. but check back in a few days and we’ll see how she develops...

How old are they?: she’s twenty-two!

When’s their birthday?: i finally decided on august 30, but tbh it’s probably just Vaughn and Everett deciding she needs a birthday, and picking that date specifically.

What’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? Do they believe that holds any significance?: Zodiac is virgo, her birthstone is peridot, element is earth. she doesn’t really care about them, but she gets into it when her friends and found family get into it.

What’s their species/subspecies? Do they have any special/magical abilities?: she’s just a nice ol’ classic human. “abilities” well. she definitely sometimes hears Sane Clara in the back of her mind. and i’m toying with a special power... but i haven’t quite decided....

What “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? If none, what weapon do they favor?: her class is technically psycho. her favorite weapon is her knife. she’s got a big ass knife. and she likes grenades as well. she’d use a gun if she had to, but her knife is her pride and joy.

Relationships:

Do they have any friends? Would they consider anyone to be their best friend?: she considers all the Crimson Raiders her friends, even if they don’t return the sentiment! (Tannis definitely doesn’t return the sentiment.) but without a doubt, she considers Vaughn to be her best friend. no one will ever mean as much to her as Vaughn does. after Vaughn, her closest circle is Everett, Lilith, Fl4k, Maya, Ellie, and Moxxi!

What’s their friend group like? What role do they play in it?: i mean, the Raiders are all a very quirky and unique group of people. but of the ones she considers her closest friends, her role is just... the plucky one. she’s a psycho, and super energetic, and super aggressive when it comes to fighting.

What’s their love life like? Do they have any kids?: she has a massive, very obvious crush on Vaughn. is it mutual? we don’t know yet... also NO KIDS!

Who do they look up to? Who do they trust?: she looks up to Krieg especially. he’s a Psycho like her and he’s a Crimson Raider too, and he was accepted as well! and because of her admiration for Krieg, she trusts Maya very much. aside from them, she trusts Vaughn, Everett, and Lilith the most.

Who do they hate? Do they have any enemies?: answered !

Do they have any pets?: not YET... but if she can convince Everett that she needs a pet on Sanctuary, you KNOW he will argue with Lilith until he gets his way.

Are they good with kids? Animals?: she’s definitely not good with kids dkjsfh. but animals, she’s pretty alright with! she wants a pet to take care of and learn more about animal care.

[chicagocityofclans]

Chris Bialar → Kris Holden-Ried → Lion 

→ Basic Information 

Age: 143

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight 

Born or Made: Born

Birthday: July 30th 

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Religion: Animism

→ His Personality Chris is first and foremost a family man. Whether it's by blood or pack, he is there unwaveringly for them. This may be most evident by the Bialar packs' frequent vacations to Africa together, where they spend months running in the wild and getting in touch with their animal forms. However, he fills the many stereotypes associated with alpha male lions. Dominant and territorial, Chris can be difficult to communicate with when he is in a mood. He can also be vain at times and somewhat short sighted if it doesn't pertain to his pack. He also shares many of the admirable traits of his other half. He's incredibly respectful of women. A majority of the teachers and decision makers in his pack are women. He is also very affectionate and protective of his people. They always have an ear to listen to and someone to support them in most of their choices.

Chris is a staunch believer in education and bringing what he can to his community. In this he has created one of the foremost schools for young Cats in the world. He strives to be generous and supportive to those he mentors and teaches. He goes out of his way to help students, parents and teachers in multiple ways; providing housing, financial scholarships, and more. Because of his strong belief in education and personal growth, Chris sends off all pack members to college/university, and encourages them to travel before settling down for a permanent position within the pack. With his main focus being his son, pack and work, Chris rarely allows himself to date or lust after women, especially after the death of his wife and mate. 

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Leader of the Cat Shifters and Principal

Scars: Multiple. All Healed by a South African Witch

Tattoos: Tribal Symbol on Right Shoulder 

Two Likes: Baby or Female African Elephants (food) and Traveling 

Two Dislikes: Disrespect and Hippos (food)

Two Fears: Unnatural Phenomena and Family Quarrels

Two Hobbies: Antiquing and Welding/Sculpture

Three Positive Traits: Generous, Supportive, Respectful

Three Negative Traits: Aggressive, Dominant, Extravagant

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Calvin Bialar (Father): His father is still alive and kicking. Alive and getting on his last nerves. Chris has nothing but respect for his father but it's clearly not mutual as his father doesn’t approve of his relationship status or the way he handles his pack; most of whom used to be his fathers. Both of his parents run the largest animal shifter school in Africa. FC: Tony Curran

Nora Bialar (Mother): Nora is an overprotective mama lion as expected.Chris and his little brother, Canaan, always came first, before their pack and father. She always takes Chris best interest into consideration and is his number one fan. Both of his parents run the largest animal shifter school in Africa.

Sibling Names:

Canaan Bialar (Brother): There was a time where Chris didn’t trust his little brother at all. His unmotivated way kept him from doing anything productive in his life. On top of sleeping all day, he often acted like the victim and blamed others for everything wrong with his life. One being that Chris was born first. However, Chris's wife, Tatiana, took to Canaan and helped them mend their friendship and brother-like bond.

Children Names:

Carter Bialar (Son): Chris didn’t love-starve his son the way his father did him and his brother. He always showed interest in Carter’s schoolwork, hobbies and passions, all the while never putting a fire under him to take over their pack. Chris wouldn’t consider their relationship the typical father son relationship but something more. 

Greer Finley (Adopted Daughter): Chris took Greer in as his own after her mom died during childbirth and her father abandoned her. Everyone saw her as a cub of the pack but in reality Chris and Tatiana were trying for cubs of their own without much success before Carter. They often bump heads now that she’s grown and the packs second, but Chris is proud of the strong independent women she’s become.

Romantic Connections:

Tatiana Bialar (Wife): Their marriage was not an arrangement contrary to popular belief. Chris and Tatiana grew up in the same pack after Chris's father won control of her neighboring pack. Since they were both months old, they’ve been inseparable. Her death hit Chris hard and if it wasn’t for their newborn son, Chris would have withered away. 

Platonic Connections:

Amaria Crais (Old Friend): Amaria is one of Chris' oldest friends and packmates. He was once sure she was his intended but both of their parents shut the thought out quickly. Chris was sure it was only because they were different species.  

Roy Allen (Best Friend): Chris and Roy formed an unlikely friendship when Roy, a former alpha, joined his pack. They have a strong unforeseen bromance. 

Zack Harris (Friend): They share a mutual respect and admiration for one another. Zack was one of Chris’s first friends outside of his pack and species. Chris also enjoys having another male around that understands fatherhood.

Wilhelmina Swanepoele (Packmate): Hank was a member of Calvin’s pack and joined Chris when she was 18. She’s friendlier with Carter more than Chris would like but there’s nothing Chris is willing to do about it. She recently returned home at the death of one of her siblings, but her invitation is always open. 

Kayla Silvestre (Packmate): Chris loves Kayla’s determination and strength. Their relationship was rocky after Chris was forced to put her hypershift father down and more so when he ordered her to see a supernatural psychiatrist but they’re slowly rebuilding their friendship.

Miles Agyeman-King (Packmate): Chris comes from a long line of lion shifters and was raised around different shifters. When Miles came to Chicago, Chris knew deep down that he needed to help him and keep Miles around. He still hasn’t figured out why but Chris is keeping a close eye on him.

Jalissa Toll (Understanding): Jaslissa is a rat and head of keeping tabs on the Cats. She had once crossed too many boundaries and nearly cost Chris his school reputation. They have since come to an understanding.

Clara Fields (Fellow Alpha): They’re closer than the other alphas. They share the devastating mass extinction of their species and common upbringing. 

Percival McCormick (Fellow Alpha): Chris is neutral when it comes to Percival and nimbles in general. He usually ignores him when he can. 

Isaac Baker (Fellow Alpha): Chris and Isaac haven’t had much interaction. 

Ellis Watts (Fellow Alpha): Chris respects Ellis and unlike the local alphas, they can hold civil conversations and share familiarity beyond Council meetings.

Nick Hamelin (Fellow Alpha): Nick and the entire Rat pack irritates Chris to no end. It took multiple injuries for Nick and Chris to come to a mutual agreement over boundaries within the pack house and their schools.  

Hostile Connections:

Malia Agyeman-King (Annoyance): Malia annoys him on purpose to change his old ways and to become more of a modern alpha. 

Sirius Cobic (Dislike): The chief of police has something out for him. Chris and his pack are always getting pulled over or raided for one thing or another.

Kyra Yi (Dislike): Kyra travelled with Josh before he joined Chris’s pack, she gave him a bad vibe, and her sudden disappearance didn’t help. 

Pets: 

None

→ History Underneath the light of a rising sun, the Bialar clan welcomed the first cub of the season, and the last male for years to come. Chris’s birth marked the future, the start of a new leader, the one who would impact their dying species in ways that have yet to be imagined. As a cub, Chris was adventurous and courageous yet inquisitive about their culture and ways. He spent much of his time learning to become King of their pride, loosely translated into pack leader. He would follow his father around, like a second shadow and mimic his every move. Unlike his younger brother, this did not inflate his ego, making him arrogant or boastful. Chris was far from it. His actions and valiance spoke for him in more ways than his ego ever could. And that was only as a cub. 

As a young adult, Chris' personality doesn’t take a shift as it normally does for growing animal shifters. His adventurous side turned into travelling outside of the pack, with a few trusted companions, including his future wife, Tatiana, and trusted friend, Amaria. They backpacked Asia, Eroupe and Africa. Chris swam the Dead Sea, climbed Mount Kinabalu and wrestled a Tiger King. He had always loved Tatiana and knew they would have to marry to continue his line but also they were in love. On their way back, Chris proposed to Tatiana, during a dinner in front of their most trusted friends. To say that their parents were ecstatic is an understatement. 

Chris was planning on leaving his father's pack. It was becoming too large for their safety and secrecy. It took years of planning and research before Chris was able to break off from his father's pack and head towards New York. He wasn’t alone. 60 members of his old pack, including his wife, Tatiana, and good friend, Amaria, joined him in America. They traveled as nomads before finding a home in Chicago, Illinois in the spring of 1923. Chris didn’t waste any time building a school for his younger packmates and those he met along his journey from New York to Illinois. Panthera Academy was built as a sanctuary for younger cat animal shifters that were usually homeschooled out of fear of exposure or discovery. 

Now as a full grown adult and pack leader, with a loving pride, Chris was no longer searching for a place to stay. He found a home in Chicago. He and Tatiana had tried for decades for a cub with many complications. After losing a litter of five, both gave up on their hopes of having cubs of their own and put their focus on expanding their academic territory. That’s why years later, the news of Tatiana being pregnant was serious to them. The entire pack flew back to Africa, which happened often, to inform their old pack, which contained many parents, siblings, cousins and more, of the wonderous news. Most of them stayed after the celebrations, while others flew back to keep up appearances and Panthera Academy. Chris and Tatiana stayed wanting to have their cub on the open plains of the savanna. Sadly, tragedy struck and Tatiana died during childbirth.  The trip back to Chicago wasn’t joyous. Chris was given a bright eyed baby boy but lost his mate due to complications.

Arranged marriages were leading tradition between cat animal shifters. His marriage with Tatiana was often seen as one. Calvin, Chris’ father, had taken Tatiana from her pack and brought her home to Chris when they were cubs. They were always in the same den, hunting groups and classes growing up. To everyone it was arranged without them knowing but Chris and Tatiana knew their love was true. They fell in love without the pressure of knowing the arrangement, therefore, to them, there was no arrangement at all. Like his father, Chris liked to stick to traditions, which was why at first he found it difficult raising his son on his own. His pack helped but the stabbing pains of losing his wife and mate so young played a large factor in Chris' choice to raise Carter without the stresses of him eventually taking over his pack or arranging a marriage for him. Chris was no longer following most traditions. Most importantly, he refused to help devise arrange marriages between his pack and that of his fathers, including a new wife for himself, to help care for his son. → The Present Chris has multiple mini projects going on all at once. He’s working with Greer, Amaria and the Jackals to open up a supernatural University that’ll be open to all animal shifters. He is heavily negotiating with Clara, hoping to come up with a solution about the dying heavy and cat species. He is unsuccessfully trying to meet with Sirius, Churchill or Vincent to discuss the unmandated harsh treatment of this pack. Which is leading, more so forcing, Chris to have a more political face in the human community and politics. 

After Tatiana’s death, Chris has yet to reenter the dating scene and doesn’t plan on it. On the bright side, Chris has had more members from his father's pack joining him in Chicago. Every time he visits home, he comes back with a handful of transitioners. Also, thanks to the Panthera Academy, Chris has seen an influx of cat shifters with children wanting to join his pack. He doesn’t have a problem with those seeking to join or seeking sanctuary, especially now that they plan on starting a university, however, more pack members means more weight on Chris’s shoulders.

[nightslain]

So I guess it’s that time of day where I get up on my soap box to once again talk about the incongruities and gaping chasms in the Netflixvania plot that have yet to be addressed, specifically those that strengthen the case for why shoehorning Leon into this mess divorced of his supporting cast and story is probably a Bad Idea. 

TL;DR I am perpetually tortured by the fact nothing makes sense right now so I am going to whinge exhaustively in a post to exorcise myself of misery and potentially spare my poor friend’s ears.

So. The show’s version of the origin story has not been properly detailed in any meaningful length except for the fact that a) Leon is indeed the patriarch of the Belmont family and b) he entered Wallachia specifically to hunt for Dracula. Sounds like the same story beats from LoI at face value, but just like everything else about this house of cards, it completely falls apart under the faintest bit of scrutiny. I’ve beat the dead horse of Mathias no longer being canon enough as it is, but Mathias is arguably the most pivotal character in the entire story. You cannot make a Castlevania adaptation that excludes his history and expect it to make actual sense. If you remove Mathias, you dismantle every facet of the plot in one fell swoop, especially if you’re going to try and wedge Leon Belmont into your story without him. The two are mutually exclusive, you cannot have one without the other unless you completely rewrite the canon to follow a wholly different trajectory that is free of those trappings (i.e Lords of Shadow, which I do not like, but I appreciate that it was trying to do something totally different and therefore don’t take great issue with it.)

And I would have accepted this level of reimagining was the show’s intention, if Leon wasn’t paid such a heaping dose of aggressive lip service to indisputably assert him as this universe’s Belmont patriarch as well. But put in context with the rest Ellis’ interpretation as is, this just ends up making no God damn sense.

Dracula has been explicitly stated to be the first vampire to exist in this universe. That solidly affirms that Mathias is not canon, so therefore Leon’s history with him is also non existent. So in turn, that logically means Walter Bernhard also never existed, Mathias never hatched that elaborate plot with him to betray Leon, Sara was never kidnapped, Leon never had to rescue her, she was never bitten by Walter, her soul was never sacrificed to make the Vampire Killer. So what did happen, then? If Dracula was never Mathias, then what the fuck was he up to in the 11th century? Getting his distance mirror apparently, which he made an oddly specific point of mentioning he acquired 400 years prior to the events of season two, which would have been approximately 1075. This would leave us 19 years prior to Lament of Innocence, so presumably Dracula was already a vampire when Leon was just a child. Which in itself just more effectively dispatches any expectations of their history together being the same or even just similar to what it was in LoI. 

Albeit, Trevor treats us to some pretty loaded exposition in saying that the Belmont family hailed from France, moving to Wallachia when “the dark things all moved into the east”--followed by Alucard affirming that Leon was in Wallachia looking specifically for Dracula. So Dracula and his monsters were obviously in France at some point in this canon causing a stink that attracted Leon’s notice--we also have evidence of this with one of the storyboard artists drawing Leon in his knightly garb slaying said monsters. But if Dracula was never Mathias in Ellis’ interpretation, what was he even doing dicking around in France in the first place? And furthermore, what did he do to convince Leon to chase him into the east as well as devote his life and the life of every Belmont after him to killing Dracula specifically? Because it’s gonna be a pretty weak downgrade in motivation from the original story if he just wants to kill Dracula because Vampires Are Evil ™, or Dracula just offhandedly killed someone important to him without nary a drop of history behind them to give it weight.

Also another discrepancy between these two canons is Leon is still a knight when he goes into the east whereas he gave up his knighthood in the games; this is quite boldly showcased by his depiction in that big ass painting as well as the fact his sword is present in the Belmont hold--which is also coincidentally the thing that kills Dracula, not the Vampire Killer. And oh yeah, how the fuck is the Vampire Killer here if the whole plot behind its existence has been effectively erased? I repeat, it’s going to be a weak downgrade if it came from anything less than the tragedy of Sara Trantoul’s sacrifice--which its starting to seem like it will be, based on everything else that’s been exorcised from the show canon.

There’s just no sensible way to knit these two interpretations together at this point if Ellis is going to dig in his heels and maintain that Dracula’s history as Mathias is not part of his vision, so I really can’t say I’m sure what in God’s name he’s going to inject into the story to fill this gaping hole he’s gnawed into the canon. I strongly believe Leon should just have been quietly excluded if the most vital elements of his story have been erased along with Mathias as well. I would not be here complaining about this at all if Leon hadn’t been forced into this version of Castlevania unnecessarily, which then just opened up a black hole of inconsistencies. Why even add him? Why have your main cast keep talking about him? Why sprinkle in fresh lore about him? Why make his sword the thing that kills Dracula? Why do all this if he’s going to be either a non-entity in the future of the show, or you’re going to just ignore the entirety of the canon that he is inextricably attached to?

This is why I’m kind of in a purgatorial relationship with the show right now as we wait for season three; I have no idea if there’s going to be even a molecule of exposition showing off the “New and Improved” vision for Leon’s and Dracula’s backstory--a part of me finds their constant chatter about Leon a little too heavy-handed for his character and history to just be swept under the rug thereafter, but another part of me is pretty solidly convinced the show isn’t even going to attempt to address that elephant in the room from here.

However, if Alucard’s going to be left by his lonesome with nothing but his father’s castle and the Belmont library, then he better be busting his ass down there reading up on some Belmont family history. Because honestly? There really is no other purpose his character can serve when isolated from the rest of the cast, the action and the plot, besides acting as a vehicle for exposition. I’d like to believe that this was the intention behind that very sudden and very off-handed plot point of Trevor bestowing his family’s library upon him in season 2. Why else do that and then just leave him there? If Alucard is just going to be steered back into the fray early into the new season, then what was even the point of having the team go their separate ways? 

Anyways. I’ve said before I really wouldn’t mind if the staff decided to rewrite Dracula and Leon’s history together a little due to the bizarre and convoluted nature of LoI’s plot which definitely needs a fresh coat of paint, and I still maintain that; but they seem to be both borrowing the outline of the premise while erasing the primary facets that made it work, and I’m entirely confused about how they’re going to actualise such a shaky narrative structure. Not very well, judging by this janky mess of plotholes they’ve dug for themselves--if they don’t just conveniently forget to ever address it again, I’m half sure their answers to these questions are going to be some wacky nonsense that probably even further diminishes the symbolic importance of the story as a whole.

If the show completely erases any meaningful relationship between Dracula and Leon as well as the gravity behind the Vampire Killer’s origins, then it will have truly sunk to a whole new depth. These are the only things I am begging Ellis not to fuck up. You know, the entire crux of Castlevania’s plot as we know it, and the entire reason this story is even playing out in this universe the way it is.

There’s no shortage of us already frustrated with his treatment of the canon as it is, and its a damn shame. I really like a lot of things about the show. The animation is still gorgeous, the music is wonderful, the atmosphere is great, and I felt genuinely moved by some of the scenes they curated for us. I appreciate the hard work the team as a whole has poured into it in the limited time frame they have to complete every season. There’s no taking away from the fact that the show has value in many areas. But Ellis to date has sadly cocked up more facets of the story than he has improved, which is what is consistently holding the show back. As much as I crave answers from this series though, I’m equally as afraid that I am not going to like them when I get them. Or that Leon’s character is going to get dragged backwards through a thorn-bush should he ever appear in the flesh.

I would love nothing more than season three to blow me away and restore my faith in the future of the series but at this point, I’d honestly settle for a few minutes of icon material and whatever answers there are so I can finally leave this bespoke Silent Hill Ellis’ writing has crafted for me, amen and good night.

[leelee10898]

Chikara: Ikari (5/?)

Ikari roughly translates to anger or hatred. Ellie finds out about Nicks troubled past, after dealing with her own demons. Colt obtains an important source of information.

Rating: Mature. Warning, mention of sexual assult, death, Murder, sexual situations and violence.

Ellie walked through the quad in the days following winter break, colts jacket pulled tightly against her body. Even with her wool hat she could hear the whispers, she felt eyes boring into her. Everywhere she went, they were talking about it, about her and what happened. She had kept to herself mostly,  just like the Ellie that showed up for summer session, broken and alone. Somehow Ingrid talked her i to getting some food with Kyle and Nick. She stood up to get a refill of her drink when she walked past two girls sitting at a table in front of the soda fountain. 

Thats her, the girl who got attacked. One if them said. 

Hmm shes probably just looking for attention. The other chimed in. 

Ellie had enough.  She walked up to the girls and stood in front of them "Excuse me, but have we met?" Ellie asked, the girls turned to look at her stunned. One of them rolled their eyes "ah no." She sucked her teeth and flipped her hair. "Oh? Because you seemed to know me enough to talk shit as I walked past." Ellie snapped. "We don't know you,  so keep it moving. Freak." The other rolled her eyes and motioned to move with her hands. 

Ellie felt the rage building within her. She tossed the soda in her hand on one of the girls, who shrieked.  She grabbed the other, the one with the smart mouth, by the back of the head and slammed her face down on the table. "Keep my fucking name out of your mouth, of the next time I'll break your fucking nose." 

She released her grip on the girl. "Come on, lets get outta here." Nick ran up, pulling her out of the restaurant.  They jumped in his car and speed off into town. They pulled up to a run down building, walked up a flight of stairs to a small apartment.  "Where are we?" Ellie asked as she looked around the small space. "Home. For now. Its not much, but its a place to lay my head." Ellie nodded, her time with the crew made her understand things most people never learned. 

"That was some display you put on back there." He chuckled as he reached in the fridge and grabbed two beers. "You just bring me here to lecture me on how not to act?" Nick shook his head. "Na, the opposite actually. " he held the beer towards her, she shook her head no declining.  Nick sat down on a chair, taking a sip of his beer. "When you were in the hospital, I heard you mentioned the brotherhood." 

Ellies blood ran cold, she could hear her heart beating in her ears. "No, I. I didn't." She lied, she was a terrible liar. "Ellie, I heard you. And If you know about them, if someone was after you because of them. Well, maybe we're not so different after all." Ellie sat down at the table with Nick, did he know something? Did he have a run in with them too? 

"Ok. So what if I did. How do you know about them?" She was cautious,  she never thought Jason would be a dirty cop, she trusted him enough since he was her dad's partner,  she never thought in her wildest dreams he would be the damned ring leader of the brotherhood. Nick let out a long sigh "I'll tell you,  but you gotta trust me enough to tell me your story too." Ellie considered his words, he did save her from being killed in that alley. "Deal." She held her hand out, which Nick shook. 

"I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, unlike most kids around I had both my parents,  and they loved each other. My dad, he was involved in some heavy stuff, he ran with a local crew. One day a powerful gang showed up and began to take over the smaller gangs, snuffing them out and forcing them to work for them. When they didn't comply, they punished them. My dad, he rose up, spoke out." Nick paused for a moment, Ellie watched the emotions flash across his face. "They killed him and a few others,  spared their families so they could spread the word, the brotherhood meant business." 

"Nick… im. Im so sorry." Ellie reached out to grab his hand.  "Don't be sorry Ellie. It happened a long time ago and ive made my peace with my dad's passing. What I want to know is how a smart, innocent girl like yourself, got tangled up with the brotherhood." 

Ellie took a deep breath,  nobody but the crew knew what had happened, not the full story. Yet she felt comfortable enough to bare it all to  Nick. "Well, it all started with a boy in a car and an asshole on a bike." 

Ellie filled him in on everything,  how kaneko sent Logan to gain intel to the take down, or so she thought, of Jason in the school parking lot." Visiting old wounds opened something within her, paired  with her new found aggression and drive she felt like she had awoken from a deep slumber. "I cant sit around and wait for the cops to not do their jobs. I have to do something,  to take that asshole Shaw down once and for all!" Ellie pounded her fist against the table. "I've been doing some digging into possible brotherhood operations in town, but my hacking skills are limited." She sighed. "You need a hacker." A smile formed on Nick's face.

Ellie turned facing him, she knew that look,  it was the same one Colt would give her when they hatched a plot, there was no turning back now.  Ellie knew exactly what she needed to do. "I need a crew." Nick leaned forward, hands on the table. "And I know just where to find one."

*******

Los Angeles, California….

Colt sat in front of the Laptop, a red bull in his hand. He had been awake for 2 days straight, no signs of sleep in the horizon. Ximena had come to stay with him, they melted down her SUV so there were no traces for the brotherhood to find it. She immediately lifted a new one, black and bigger. They had made a little headway on hunting wallace down. The Kaneko name held weight, Teppei's self sacrifice spread through the alleys and back roads like wildfire. His courageous act, dubbed him as a saint amongst the crime world and left his heir to be feared by many. Colt was young, and more ruthless than his father. Everyone wanted to be in his good graces. 

A neighboring crew shed a little information about a possible underground operation the brotherhood had been running. An old sawmill on the west side of town had seen a lot more activity in recent months. Colt combed blue prints, scouted the location, the surveillance was an issue. It was old, easy to hack into but the picture quality was lacking. He tried to find A surrounding camera to view but hadn't had much luck.  "Fuck. This is ridiculous." he hollered, tossing the laptop onto the couch next to him. 

He rubbed his hands down his face in frustration.  He allowed his mind to wander there. Wondering what she was doing in that exact moment. He counted down the days until he could be with her, He had to be with her. Ximena walked in, a bag of takeout in hand. "You look like shit. You slept any since I left?" Colt shook his head.  "Cant sleep, not til I can get a better look at that warehouse." 

Ximena tossed a plate in front of him, a burger and fries,  She picked up the laptop and plopped down on the couch. "Ok, you eat. Let me see what I can do." 

After a few minutes she spoke up "got it. Just needed to position this camera that way and.." her eyes went wide. "Colt, you're gonna wanna come see this." Colt shot up standing over ximenas shoulder.  "That son of a bitch. He's there?" Before she could say a word Colt was already out the door and on his bike. He speed across town, weaving in and out of traffic. By the time he got there, the building was quiet.  He did find a familiar person. Colt grabbed him by the shirt and tossed him up against the brick wall. "Where is he?" He seethed. "Who. I don't know who you're talking about." 

"Wallace. Where the fuck is he?" Colt cocked his fist back. "I don't know. He left. He's gone." The man cried out. Colts fist connected with his face. "Ok, ok. I'll cooperate." Colt loosened his grip on him. The man opened his mouth to speak, then turned bolting for the door. Son of a bitch Colt huffed as he ran after him. He made it to the door in just enough time to see the guy get close lined, falling to the ground hard. "I don't remember asking for backup." He sneered "yeah, well looks like you needed it." Ximena snorted. Colt hovered over the man, Ximena knocked him out cold. "Were taking him." Ximena arched her brow. "Colt-" she warned. "Not the first time we kidnapped someone, probably won't be the last and We need answers.  You wanted in, this is in." Ximena shook her head. "Ok boss. I got rope in the truck. Lets get him loaded up before someone sees." 

Colt and Ximena pulled up to a run down house, it was one of the safe houses Kaneko had set up in case the heat got to bad in the city. It was outside of La and the best part it was remote. Ximena tossed. Bucket of water on the man as he jolted awake. "What? Where am I?" He fidgeted in his seat, trying to move his restrained hands. "Horacio Salazar." The man whipped his head to the other side of the room. "That's not my name." He spat.  "Sure it is. I know all about you Horacio. I know about your wife Maria. Your two kids Nico and Emalina. Even your little dog scruffy." Colts lips twisted into a sinister smirk as he watched the color drain from Horacio's face. "What do you want? 

"I just want a little information on a mutual acquaintance, Wallace. I want to know everything you know about him." Colt circled like a vulture. "I don't know nothin." 

Colt stopped, staring at the man before him. His hands crossed against his chest. 

"You aren't related to Emilio Salazar are you?"

Horacio lifted his head to look at Colt. "He was my cousin. Why?" 

"He helped my crew out with something. It's a shame what happened to him. I don't know if I would have the stomach to work for the crew that killed my cousin" He smirked "but that's just me." He turned his head, his smile twisted into a bone chilling curl. He was enjoying this more than he should, he knew he knee horacio would cooperate, but he needed him to want them dead, just as much as Colt did. 

A few minutes went by in silence before Horacio finally opened his mouth to speak. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you what I know." Colt flashed ximena a wicked smile.  "Ok Horacio, tell what you know."

Langston….. Nick led Ellie down a dimly lit hall of a warehouse on the outskirts of town. She could hear the bass thumping on the other side of the metal door. She gave Nick a questioning look. "You needed a crew, this is our first step." She nodded as he opened the door. She expected a cold, open space with some tattered old couches, and dirt. Instead the are was fully furnished with leather couches and chairs. A dj played some up tempo music as a few people danced.  They weaved in and out of people before they approached a large, muscular man standing in front of a sectioned off room. Nick whispered something in his ear, he nodded and let them pass. "Rubywrecker? We have a proposition for you." Nick spoke to the hooded figure sitting in front of 4 laptops with their backs turned to them. "Not interested. Who let you back here?" She spoke, not bothering to turn around. "Oh, I think you'll be interested. Especially when it comes to matters of a certain brotherhood."  

The woman stood, slowly turning around. "Not here. But if it has anything to do with taking them down. Im intrigued." She smiled. "Then I think you'll like what we have to say." Ellie stepped forward, it was finally happening. She was forming her crew, her vision closer to becoming a reality. The brotherhood was going to get what they deserved, one way or another. 

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