#ell i love you but this really should not see the light of day

[undignifiedpopemobile]

my driver hotness rankings

besties and behateds of the jury, this is maybe the most unhinged thing i will ever post but it is my sistine chapel it is my mona lisa. this is to me what citizen kane was to orson welles. i will prove to you today that my driver hotness rankings are objectively correct. i have assembled the evidence i have constructed my argument. (love you ell this one's for you.)

20

nyck (i’m so sorry). look someone has to go last. i am not prejudiced against short kings but it must be acknowledged that in combination with the face he is giving gnome. also i have seen the shirtless pics, and he is more ripped than george for christ’s sake there are so many ridges on his torso. he looks, to steal a phrase from patton oswald, “painful to fuck.” and i don’t have a vibe check on him yet so there is nothing else to compel me (benoit blanc voice) also i am not yet convinced he’s fast, which would increase his standing, because, say it with me, being good at things is hot. check back in after a few races. the thing where they tied him to a wheel rack was funny but not enough.

19

pierre. he’s fooled so many people into thinking he’s attractive with his beard contour and his donald trump ass haircut covering a truly atrocious hairline but there is no force on earth that can cover being a crypto bro. i have known so many and they are, without exception, the worst and more irritating people on the planet. if you own an nft you are not hot. if you TALK about it you are less hot. he has abs or whatever but i honestly think he is too ripped, similar to nyck. and i haven’t even mentioned the fact he’s a pedophile! his narrative used to be compelling to me because he got kicked out of red bull and i love redemption but he is a mid driver and a bitch and christian was right to fire him.

18

lando. this one may be controversial but i’m right and i can prove it: he looks like he’s twelve years old. who am i, pierre? i think the fuck not. admittedly he has nice eyes but he has a very oddly-shaped head. i could snap him like a twig, which looking at my dating history is not necessarily a deal breaker, but it is if he’d whine like a little bitch the whole time. he has never known the touch of a woman and he never will. the vibes are also atrocious: he’s a spoiled brat, and his interests are twitch and golf?????? he might not say racial slurs but he definitely crosses the street if he sees a black man. says he feels “uncomfortable” being around gay men with his shit off. bitch. i must clarify that i don't actually hate him but he has committed the worst crime to me: being a little irritating.

17

checo. people say he looks like tom cruise with a double chin but i just watched top gun and no he fucking does not. he looks more grizzled than fernando but in a haggard way not in a rugged cowboy way and he’s got a dad bod but not in a hot way. and the vibes are fucking off, absolutely swagless. fucking come on he’s had two seasons of getting his ass HANDED to him by max every week. i know it’s hard to be max’s teammate or whatever but i am pointing to him and saying MID. i don’t know anything about him personally except he’s got rich sponsors, he probably cheated on his wife, and he’s a homophobe. however he will move up if he goes full rosberg in 2023 and ruins christian’s life i do not pretend to be unbiased. the thesis of this one is that it is not hot to be boring. but if he becomes interesting i will change my mind.

16

oscar. see lando. he looks like a child! i do not believe he is 21 they are LYING because he's actually 14 and it should be illegal to let him drive. i do not believe he remembers obama’s first election. he’s up higher because i believe he is considerably more attractive than lando he has a sweet honest face i would kiss his little cheeks. but is he hot? ask again in five years. the narrative is also compelling to me because he did said “fuck the french” and that is hot that is HOT, but again, as of yet no vibe check. i see something in his eyes that indicates to me he may win the twink war but until first blood is spilled that is only hypothetical. sorry oscar nothing against you honey.

15

kmag. ok look. maybe i just don’t remember what kmag actually looks like but the picture on the f1 website is not flattering he looks like the stock photo wincing old man. i don’t think he’s unattractive really but i cannot put him above the rest of this list i fear! when he got pole that was really hot but what else is he giving? talking about balls? that wasn’t hot when dan did it and it’s not hot for kmag either. the vibe check should have enough data to produce something but it is coming up empty!!! i just do not know i’m sorry kevin. you do not have the x factor. you are not irritating, but to me, you are boring.

14

estie! you know he was below kmag but today i saw that gifset of him with long hair…. i could fix him (get him a hair stylist) he’s uncomfortably lanky. rat man may be affectionate, but rat man nevertheless. also i played myself by comparing himself to the flushed away rat because now i cannot see him without thinking about that. he’s got a really hot girlfriend which means he’s probably a feminist (will go down on a woman) and i know he doesn’t come from money. both of these things compel me tis true! but they are not enough to overcome the tragic truth that he looks like a cartoon character

13

hulkenberg. look ell i know i said he was conventionally attractive and i stand by that. he IS. but he also looks like a fucking ken doll. he has the GR wax doll disease. he went into the uncanny valley and he fucking founded a city-state there he’s building fucking governance structures and supporting a small private army to defend trade routes. his skin is so like….. tight. uncomfortable. and he is not redeemed by the vibe check. a million fucking races and no podium? and he wasn't only in shit cars! he was supposed to be a world champion coming up through the feeder series and he fell short of his potential. falling short of your potential is narratively compelling, but not in a hot way. i am pressing the big buzzer that says MID. boring.

12

lance. literally forgot about him until i got to number seven and then i was like….. wait a minute wait a fucking minute. he and nando are mirror opposites lance is here purely by virtue of his conventionally attractive little face. i can hear the ghosts of my jewish ancestors telling me to settle down with the nice billionaire jewish boy. but you know what? his voice is fucking irritating as shit and he has the least interesting variety of daddy issues. he’s got no fucking personality and he’s a nepo baby and he’s a mid ass driver and lawrence will not convince me otherwise by holding a gun to nando’s head and making him say shit about how good his stupid little failson is. 

11

NANDOOOOOOO ok i know this one is controversial but i don’t give a shit it’s my list. i know he’s fucking eighty do you think i care? no. i couldn’t give less of a shit what he looks like. all that matters to me is that he wakes up every single day and chooses to be a mischievous little bastard who foments….. something. el plan etc etc. yes he fucking blackmailed mclaren yes he has committed war crimes yes he is a misogynist. what is this twitter? i do not have to be morally correct here. and lest we forget he is in fact a fantastic fucking driver (hot). let the slow dismantling of the stroll dynasty begin. and he has the most important variable in my calculations: he is interesting.

10

guanyu. my problem here is vibe check coming up empty. he’s reasonably good looking, he’s nice, he seems to be in love with val (good taste! see the coffee video) he’s the second most stylish man in the paddock mostly by virtue of the competition being fucking pathetic. he’s a little short but i am not prejudiced against short kings! but personality wise i fear there is not much there although probably this is on me for being a dumb american and not speaking chinese. also he’s like. ungodly rich. like richer than stroll. and the CCP of it all is not beautiful. perhaps most damningly: is he a good driver? i do not know! give him another year, but the jury remains undecided. he is right in the middle but i reserve the right to move him up pending developments

9

logan. you don’t know how much it pains me to put this motherfucker in the top ten. he looks like he was recruited into the us military directly out of high school because he was failing english and knew he couldn’t get into college, but unfortunately he is also objectively very handsome. he’s not higher for obvious reasons (florida. donald trump.) but i cannot put him lower purely off the virtue of his captain america fucking face. fuck him i hope alex makes him cry real tears on track by lapping him in every single race. but he is hot. maybe he'll prove me wrong and he can stay here! but if he brings fucking..... jd vance or whatever as a guest to a gp it's straight to 20 i shit you not.

8

alex. out of all the men on this list alex is probably the one i would most like to date. he’s nice, he’s reasonably charming, he’s a feminist, he’s got the angst of losing that red bull seat without the pierre of it all, he’s got the compelling homoerotic friendship with george but you know what this is not sash’s list of dateable men it is driver hotness and we must acknowledge the fact that he is not particularly good looking! like estie he has a fucking banana nuts hot girlfriend, but facially he is not always giving. he’s cute; he’s not necessarily hot. he’s this high only because i kept bumping him up because i was like “well i can’t put him below fucking LOGAN”. also, while i believe he’s a good driver, is he REALLY good, or just good? beating the shit out of latifi does not convince me of anything! like mick beating the shit out of mazepin it’s pretty much guaranteed to happen.

7

max. ok ell hear me out. right now he is not looking too hot but it's because of the bad haircut and he’s not racing. being good at things, say it with me, is hot and the only thing, the ONLY THING in max’s life is being good at racing. he’s fucking fast. also, he seems like he’s actually kind of a fun guy. when he laughs at his own jokes that is very cute i think. the little eye crinkles. the cheeks. when he’s got his hair grown out a little and a five o’clock shadow going… he can fool me into thinking he’s actually good looking and doesn't a little bit resemble sid the sloth from the ice age movies (sorry. but it's true) and the version of him i have made up in my head and convinced myself is real is extremely fucking compelling!!!! admittedly the kelly dynamic almost knocked him down but it takes two people to make a dynamic and i guarantee you i would not be giving any maternal energy at all. i think i could fix him (introduce him to pegging)

6

yuki. that’s right fuck you. he’s funny as fuck and we could do karaoke together. i would carry him around in my tote bag and he could eat off the children’s menu at restaurants (cost of living is high you save where you can.) he’s giving face and he’s giving body he’s actually so fucking handsome and the reason people are sleeping on how beautiful he is is because of the particularities of anti-asian racism, where “western” people read traditionally east-asian features as unmasculine, and therefore they are either fetishized or dismissed as romantic/sexual partners entirely. well i’m anti-racism bitch! yuki is HOT! also i know he’s not that good at driving or whatever but do you know what’s even hotter than being good at things? not giving a SHIT!!!! yuki is the spiritual successor to kimi raikonnen on this grid i’m fucking right and i’m the only one brave enough to say it. f1 is a hobby for him and he treats the sport exactly as it should be treated (with disdain, like it’s a mild inconvenience or errand on par with vacuuming) maybe this is inconsistent with my "being good at things is hot theory" but you know what? fuck you. it's my list i do what i want. if i contradict myself than i contradict myself

5

george. yeah…… i’m quite frankly a little shocked and upset he’s this high. i know i made this list myself but i’m not keeping track very well in all honesty and i’m about four drinks in. but you know what? i’m not blaming alcohol. this is accurate for my hotness rankings. i’m a bit of a george girl at the moment. every new fact i learn about him makes him more compelling to me. he's the george bit of alex's homoerotic relationship with george! really i only need one story about him to compel me: getting himself into the merc driver program with the power of microsoft powerpoint. he’s the most “he’s just like me fr” driver on the grid for me and i’m a big enough woman to admit that. the version of him i’ve made up inside my head has a personality and you know what? unfortunately for the haters he has proved them all wrong and he’s an excellent fucking driver. i don’t think he’s better than lewis but he stood up to the pressure of that second merc seat fucking fantastically even with his biological father there judging his performance the whole time! and i know he looks a little bit like a robot but it must be admitted! he is attractive! he’s got a great body! idk i’m gaslighting myself i guess it’s my deep-seated american desire to infiltrate the upper classes of england and bring it all down from the inside. but i’m keeping him in spot number five. and fuck anyone who disagrees.

4

valtteri. i mean. other than yuki the closest to kimi we can get on the current grid. lost his merc seat and immediately said “my ass will be fully out for the rest of my life and there is nothing you can do about it” can you imagine the amount of time toto wasted just saying “no valtteri you cannot post hole on instagram”. he’s a feminist he’s an icon! he’s not an outstanding driver but he’s solid! by number of wins currently fourth best cunt on the grid i believe! the mustache! he has alex albon energy in that i would actually date him but i think he’s more attractive. he is the only blond-haired blue-eyed man on the list who does not even a little bit activate the “nazi detector” in my brain which is admittedly a little overactive in the current political climate. i don’t know love isn’t rational. but i love him. i love him, your honor. and you will not convince me otherwise with facts (he's not really objectively all that physically attractive)

3

carlos. look the ferrari boys were pretty close together and ell i know you disagree with me here but ultimately it comes down to one thing i will discuss in the charles ranking and a couple things i will discuss here. yes he’s hot. fucking obviously. it’s barely worth pointing it out he’s outrageously attractive. but as i have said many times hotness is about more than the physical! and the vibe check is mixed. he does have the most compelling flavor of daddy issues (father is loving and supportive but still an unattainable ideal. the closest thing to god on earth for carlos sainz jr is carlos sainz sr and what a terrible legacy that is to bear) but on the other hand golf! and he has a weird and not very sexy voice! and he’s probably violently catholic! and there’s stories about him being kind of a dick to fans! i did not verify either of those things but fuck you this isn't journalism. and, most damningly, i believe that when it comes to driving he is…… FUCKING MID. there i said it. he got lucky his first year with and he’s still in denial about being the second driver to charles leclerc. have you seen the fucking instagram? girl fred vasseur may say he'll let it be decided on track but charles is coming to family dinners in the vasseur household. delusion is not hot unless it’s in a funny way (see: fernando, el plan). and i swear to christ if he messes up even a single race for charles this season because he thinks he’s better i will knock him down to the bottom of his list without remorse.

2

charles. it’s my list fuck you. other than george, charles (the version of him i have made up inside my head) is the most like me on the grid. he is— pause for dramatic effect— fucking COMPELLING. (benoit blanc voice) you know i love a narrative and he’s got a fucking narrative. he plays the piano (hot) he’s got the sexiness of the french language without the lameness of being french (yes i believe monaco is a historical mistake and a geopolitical aberration and should be incorporated into france and all those cunts should pay taxes but objectively monaco is very sexy!!! walt whitman i contain multitudes) and he’s got the catholic guilt of driving for ferrari without the lameness of actual catholicism (looking at you carlos) is he the most interesting bitch in the world? no. but he can hold a conversation, he has more interests than just racing and video games, and he’s much funnier in french, and as these boring ass guys go he’s pretty funny even in english. also, again, takes two to make a dynamic and i am funny enough for any two people on the planet. also, and this must be said, he’s a fucking excellent driver. BEING GOOD AT THINGS IS HOT! AND we have not even mentioned the fact that physically speaking he is what we call a Specimen. he’s got body, he’s got face. i know you don’t think he does ell but with respect you are wrong. he’s got the cheekbones he’s got the nose he’s got the fucking ridiculous shoulder to hip ratio, he’s got the hand porn. he has literal protagonist eye syndrome (they appear to be different colors depending on the lighting) he’s fucking insanely hot.

1

Lewis. I mean it’s just quite literally the only correct answer. he’s giving face, he’s giving body. the tattoos! dan thinks he has cool tattoos but he has pete davidson disease lewis actually has really cool tattoos. but his hotness is literally the least compelling thing about him. he’s multi-talented (music??? so hot) he’s not just a racer, but like, let’s not discount the fact he is the best f1 driver of all time. like i’ve established it’s hot when people are good at things (except golf). he’s not a businessman he’s a business, man. he’s got mad fucking drip. his politics are.............. of mixed quality really but by comparison he's practically bernie sanders. of all the drivers he’s the one i think i could make a socialist if i had a twenty minute conversation with him. i could get him to read marx i could get him to read zizek. not even to mention the compelling fucking narrative of his life. the karting years the brocedes of it all the mclaren civil war he is producing CONTENT. yes he speaks like a motivational poster and the dog account is cringe but the flaws make him human. if he were too perfect he would be less hot. 

this is the judgement of the court

[5sospenguinqueen]

Play Pretend | Charles Leclerc x Law Student! Reader

Summary: He's Lightning McQueen. You're Elle Woods. But, when Charles misses you, he makes it known that perhaps your career isn't as important as his wishes to start a family.

Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Baby fever? Miscommunication.

Female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest.

2024 but some events switched around 

I'm trying to make all of these different to each other so I'm sorry that this one was less baby fever and more baby mention.

Main Masterlist

next.

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YourUserName just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, francisca.cgomes and others 

YourUserName the cause of stress v. the support systems   tagged: charles_leclerc, YourBestFriend

6,883 comments

User1 i love how all her captions ft her degree are legal themed 

charles_leclerc ❤️💛

charles_leclerc mon ange, what are you doing in that second photo

→ YourUserName it’s probably best you don’t know, char

→ YourBestFriend cocktails were involved

→ charles_leclerc this is why i don’t like leaving her with you 

→ YourBestFriend cry me a river, vroom vroom boy 

lilymhe i still think i would be a better support system than charles

→ YourUserName and i fully agree. let’s run away together

→ alex_albon whoa, whoa, whoa. get your own girlfriend

→ charles_leclerc she already has her own girlfriend! 

→ charles_leclerc wait, no

→ User2 the prettiest girlfriend

User3 i swear charles and y/n are the cutest f1 couple

→ User4 they always look so infatuated with each other 

→ User5 umm, how? she's literally never at races 

→ User6 because she’s off being successful in her own way, and charles supports that? plus, she’s always snapped in ferrari merch on race days whether she’s there or not

→ User7 omg yes! when a classmate took a pic of her leaving a final in bright red, and she was easily the most spottable person in that hall 

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charles_leclerc just posted

liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc and others

charles_leclerc welcome home baby leo  tagged: YourUserName

12,298 comments

YourUserName my two favourite boys ❤️

User8 did you see in the background of one of the pics, they have his “birth certificate” framed and it says leo leclerc-y/l/n. he truly is their child

roscoelovescoco can’t wait’s to see’s a new’s friend in’s the paddock’s 

→ User9 roscoe-leo play date when please

→ User10 not until 2025 😂

User11 but let’s all take a moment to appreciate how cool leo’s parents are. he has an f1 racer for a dad, and a fashionable law student for a mum

→ User12 haha his parents are lightning mcqueen and elle woods 

pierregasly thanks mate. now kika is going to want one

→ YourUserName and you should give her one. i need a mum friend 

User13 first they adopt ollie and now leo. who’s next

→ YourUserName oscar

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User1 the interviewer was asking about future races and charles wasted no time in bringing up his girlfriend. he’s so down bad 

User2 the way his face lights up when he talks about her. he really does love her. 

User3 oh Charles, honey, that’s not giving what you think it is 

User4 any other woman slightly uncomfortable with the way this was worded?

→ User5 lets all take a moment to remember that english isn’t his first language. he obviously meant well, and the love in his eyes shows that he’s excited about a life with y/n, it just wasn’t worded in the best way 

User6 the interviewer was so skeezy for that last comment though

User7 i feel so bad for y/n. she’s always so supportive of charles' races, even when she’s not there, and charles is talking about how he can't wait for her to be done with her degree so she can follow him around the world 

→ User8 i don’t think he meant it that way. he looked horrified when the interviewer interpreted it that way but the interview ended before he could clarify further 

User9 do we think mom and dad are fighting after his *slightly* misogynistic comments about making her a kept woman

→ User10 i really hope not but my heart says yes because he basically said he’ll turn her into a travel wife who only cares about his career but said nothing about her career that she’s working really hard on

User11 i didn’t realise how much i depended on y/n’s post race posts until i didn’t get one

→ User12 she always posts the most panty-dropping post race charles pics 

User13 i miss them already 

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User1 oh god, it’s official

User2 brb just gonna go cry my eyes out for an hour 

User3 literally half of her insta posts have disappeared because they were all charles 

→ User4 the only thing keeping me sane is that any post where he wasn’t the main focus but slightly in them have been kept 

User5 can someone check on ollie? see how he’s coping as a child of divorce 

liked by OllieBearman

User6 yes, yes. this is all very sad but now that i’m done crying, can we talk about what is going to happen with leo? is this going to be a shared custody agreement?

→ User7 how could i forget about leo. do you think they’ll see each other at child drop off or make arthur be the middle man?

User8 i can't believe they just got a puppy together and now they’re going to be co-parenting instead :( 

User9 maybe this is just a minor speed bump in the road to their everlasting happiness? (yes, i’m hoping that they’re simply taking a small break)

→ User10 may all your delulus come trululu

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YourUserName just posted

liked by lilymhe, arthur_leclerc and others 

YourUserName the verdict is unanimous… I’m stressing

3,880 comments

YourBestFriend this barbies practices law

→ YourBestFriend not long left, babe. just a couple of exams and we’re qualified adults

→ YourUserName i don’t think we should ever be classed as qualified adults lol 

→ YourMum i still can't get over the fact that you two used to play pretend lawyers as little girls and now you're actually going to be one

lilymhe good luck, y/n. you’re gonna smash these! 

→ YourUserName if not, fancy running me over with your golf cart? 

arthur_leclerc good luck, y/n/n. try not to drink too much caffeine 

→ YourUserName i’m not that bad! 

→ arthur_leclerc you cannot lie to me. i have had to listen to you after three red bulls

→ landonorris betrayal! 

User1 she’s so real for that last slide tho. like miss y/l/n you are gorgeous and we’re glad you know it

YourClassmate how do you look so nice despite being in the library until 2am?

→ User2 dude, no. that line is not going to pull the stunning y/n y/l/n

→ User3 literally, the love of her life is charles leclerc and this guy thinks he’s going to win her over with a bad line 

User4 guys, is anyone else missing the sweet comments charles would always leave 

→ User5 he would be agreeing with the last slide and telling her how beautiful and smart she is 

→ User6 how about we don’t remind her of her ex-boyfriend the day before her life-changing exams

carlossainz55 good luck🤞🏼

→ User7 not sainz being messy on main

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charles_leclerc just posted

liked by pierregasly, scuderiaferrari and others

charles_leclerc there is nothing like racing in italy for ferrari. i wish we had a better result, but that was the maximum today. we’ll try again next week. 

8,449 comments

User9 did you see his interview of him on his way out of the paddock? man was in a rush with poor leo tucked under his arm

→ User10 it’s y/n’s week with leo so charles was running out there because it was time to go see his favourite girl 

→ User11 he was not wasting a minute to see the love of his life 

User12 charles racing faster to go see his ex-girlfriend who he’s wildly obsessed with than he did all weekend 

→ User13 bestie you better pray he doesn’t see this 

→ User14 why? ‘cause he’ll have to fight the urge to like it 

User15 i’m so happy that it’s y/n’s week with leo because we’re going to get the most adorable puppy pics on her story all week

→ User16 also it means that his parents will be conversing 

User17 i love that we’re all depending on leo to get f1’s favourite couple back together 

Baby Fever Angst Series

(This wasn’t due out until tomorrow but I’ve released it earlier in honour of THE MONACO WIN BABY!!!!!!) 🥳🍾🥳🍾

Tag list

@lav3nder-haze @minkyungseokie @callsignwidow @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @elijahslover @luckyladycreator2 @bborra @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @brsr @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @dullypully @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @jxnellat @sbrn0905 @hc-dutch @mxdi0 @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @glow-ish

[aphroditeinthesea]

can i please request a percy jackson x reader where the reader is a daughter of aphrodite to the song i can do it with a broken heart by taylor swift

“ i can do it with a broken heart ”

percy jackson x daughter of aphrodite 🌊

⚠️ percy is an ass to the reader but that’s kinda a given + percabeth inclusion woop woop

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

i can read ur mind

she’s having the time of her life

there in her glittering prime the lights reflect

sequin stars off her silhouette every night

i can show you lies

“I’m so happy you're finally getting over him,” her sister smiled, hand on her back.

She forced a grin as she continued to sing along to the campfire song. She nodded and waited for her sister to turn her attention away. When she finally saw the girl from the corner of her eye turn towards her boyfriend.

Y/N looked down to the grass. If she looked up she knew what she would see. Just the thought was nauseating. The boy who she claimed to all her friends she would marry, who she already had best laid plans to move to New Rome with and go to college together.

Everything that came to a crumble when he decided he did want those things. Just with his best friend instead.

She watched from across the way how his arm was wrapped around the blonde. They weren't even talking, just looking into each other’s eyes. It was as though they were having an entire conversation without saying anything. She recalled how when she first started going out with Percy and her friends tried to warn her. Everyone knew that the two were soulmates, except for three people.

She wondered if on some level she always knew, too. Maybe she was just denying it to stay with him for just a little bit longer. Even if she screamed all night the day she he broke up with her.

If you were ever so inclined to wonder what really truly happened, here’s the deal:

It was like any other Friday. Perseus Jackson waltzed into her cabin, head low almost as though he cared. He told her he wanted to talk to her privately in cabin three. Her heart sank. She knew. She just knew.

Soon enough, while she sat on his bed and he stood in front of her, he spoke in his softest voice.

“We need to break up.”

She felt her head get dizzy while she looked up at him, “what?”

“I’m so sorry,” he sat next to her, “I hate having to do this to you.”

“Why?” was all she could say.

His eyebrows creased, while tears welled up in his sea green eyes. She felt like she was looking into one of the clear seas of Greece. “I dont feel about you the way that I should.”

She sighed, “Annabeth.” Although because of the weakness in her voice, all that came out was, “Eth.”

He understood her. Slowly nodding, he began once again, “I realized I feel more about her than I should,” he took a breath, “but I wouldn't do anything before ending this with you. I couldn't hurt you like that.”

That damn loyalty of his.

“I get it.”

i’m a real tough kid

i can handle my shit

they said “babe, you gotta fake it til you make it”

and i did

The next morning, it was like it never happened. Afterall, a girl’s gotta have a reputation to upkeep. Everyone’s favorite daughter of Aphrodite. Who could hate a girl so bubbly and peppy and outgoing and happy and has never once had a bad hair day?

Everyone tried to get her to talk about it, but the only thing she said was “I’m helping at arts and crafts today, tee-tee-why-ell!”

With a smile on her face and the taste of vomit on her lips, she pranced around helping campers make vases and false confidence.

“You need to guide your hands up more, like this-”

“Y/N.”

She looked up to lock eyes with the daughter of Athena. “Annabeth.”

“I really wanted to talk to you.”

She flashed her blinding smile and raised eyebrows, “I would love to talk, but I’m right now,” even though her blood boiled at the sight of the blonde curls, “see you later, though.”

“I’m staying.”

“Oh!” She squeaked, “grab a seat.”

lights, camera, bitch smile

even when you wanna die

he said he’s love me all his life

but that life was too short

As soon as y/n was alone she broke down, hitting the floor. She felt all the pieces of her shatter. She had spent hours grinning like a winner before she finally crashed.

She let out every emotion she had felt that day. The anger, the sadness, the betrayal, the heartbreak, all of it. She let out a scream for every glance she shared with either Percy or Annabeth.

But just before dinner, she dolled up her makeup and curled her hair to perfection. Then brushed it out. Then straightened it.

She knew she was overthinking it, but how damn stupid would she look walking out to dinner with hair that mirrored the girl she was just left for? Of course, the meal went as it always would. Her cracking jokes with her siblings, giving out advice that not a soul asked for, all was normal except for the table across the way.

The Poseidon table, which was currently being shared by a certain blonde. This had to be a joke. She watched their conversation flow so easily. The laughs, the smiles, whispers, before Annabeth snuck back off to her own table.

She thought to herself that maybe she should have done that. I mean, if little miss perfect could bend the rules a little, why couldn't she? Maybe that’s why he left?

Over the next few weeks, she tried to block out everything about him. Maybe it was just a dream. But occasionally she’d find something of his in a drawer. Crucial evidence she didn't just imagine the whole thing.

She was sure she could pass this test. The test being the ability to not spend her days crying. And although she did cry a whole lot, she was so damn productive. It was honestly an art. She knew for the rest of her life that this time really proved how good she was at faking. You know? ‘Cause she’s miserable and nobody even knows.

Try and come for her job.

[equallyshaw]

star crossed loves au | connor bedard x kailey hughes au ↳ not for the faint of heart. ↳ august, 2021. ↳ masterlist.

warnings: swearing, talks of depression and jack being an ass. also, there is an attempt mentioned + self harm & eating disorder. word count: 2.9k

after the panic attack in kaileys washroom that afternoon, ellen had begun to notice more and more the subtle changes in her daughter's moods and behavior. she saw the lucky go, girl who was always up for anything and everything, begin to become a recluse, quiet and very calculated girl. she saw the light in her daughter's eyes diminish and she didn't know where it all had begun. she grew worried as luke was getting ready to head off to michigan for his freshman year, while she stayed back to complete her senior year.

what was she going to do without her irish and best friend no longer in the house? :

she knew it was the final straw when kailey had declined to hang out with luke before he left, and to forgoe their 'twin day' they liked to call it which they had been doing since b before they moved to michigan where it was just the two of them, with one final day before school started up again. she watched as kailey told him no and then proceeded to head upstairs to nap, which was something she'd been doing a lot of lately. she saw the solemn and defeated look of form on her youngest son's face, and her heart absolutely broke watching him look down at the two tickets he had gotten for a festival in downtown ann arbor. he left the two tickets and headed into he garage, to take a drive. that evening as her and her husband began to get ready for bed, she told him of everything she'd been seeing with their daughter and how she had said no to luke today. to which, luke was shocked with the latter. everybody in their family knew that they gave themselves one day a year to boast in the final summer break hours with each other, and to say no was huge.

"i- i think we failed her jim. i really do. she shouldn't be feeling the way she feels in this house and this town. did we make the wrong decision moving here for jack? do you think we should of stayed in toronto and let jack head off like we had quinn do?" ellen rambled as jim pulled her into his arms. he kissed the top of her head, "she quit her sports too. i should have noticed it last year when she didn't sign up for try outs. when she lied to us and said she just didn't make it. or when she yelled at jack when they both came back from training camps...i should have known. i should have been a better mother." ellen sobbed as jim continued to comfort her. "you're not a bad mother, we are not horrible parents ellen. i promise you. the best thing we can do is be there for her, get her help and continue to show up for her - now more than ever." he said and ellen nodded, wiping her tears. "as for the move, i think about it too. i think about the 'what ifs' and if we made the right decision, and some days i do regret it but we can't go back, we can only move forward hun. we will get through this, kailey will get through this." he said a bit stoically, taking the weight and pressure off of his wife. ellen nodded taking one last look at jim, before the two of them fell asleep.

_

a week later, ellen drove kailey to a therapist out in detroit. she called the school the following day, inquiring if her guidance counselor could talk to her daughter once the first day rolled around, and after that conversation, her guidance counselor referred her to a social worker in detroit for her to go to therapy. kailey was confused more than anything, as to where all of this had come from, but took it with great strides. she could finally breathe for once, because somebody had finally noticed. ellen called quinn that same afternoon to let her know kailey would be going to therapy and hoped quinn could check in with kailey in a week and quinn was shocked, but was relieved that she'd have somebody to talk to and have a safe place to do so. ellen also told him some of what the guidance counselor had said, in particular, the part about jack. which made quinn beyond pissed off, and went into big brother mode.

as soon as the two got off the call, he facetimed his brother. jack's egotistical smile graced the phone screen and then fell, once he saw quinns face. "is everything ok?" he asked and quinn shook his head, "no." he stated. "you are an ass jack, a fucking ass." he began but was cut off by jack, "what the hell man? what did i do now?" jack fought back. quinn made a tsk noise, "what haven't you done. you've treated our baby sister nothing more than a roommate since you guys moved to michigan. you fucking told your teammates or friends, that she was nothing more than a roommate. what the hell jack? you're supposed to protect her and build her up, not tear her down and bully her. do you know where she's headed now because of what you and others say to her? yknow she's bullied at school, right? oh wait no, you don't because nobody told you anything about her life. kailey made sure of that. always having luke to promise he wont say anything, but he's seen it all. he see's how people treat her at school and he has seen how you've treated her as well. yknow she quit lacrosse and soccer because her mental health got so bad last year? she lied to mom and dad and said she didn't make it, but she didn't even go to the fucking try out. instead, she drove new buffalo across the god damn state. because you were at home, she drove three hours to get away from you man! three. fucking. hours." quinn paused taking a deep breathe, "she's headed to therapy jack, because of how immature you are. what do you have against her, huh? what does she have, that you don't? why did you do and say all that you did, man?" quinn questioned as jack took in all of the information.

jack felt tears spring to his eyes as he digested it all, and he swallowed harshly. "its stupid." he mumbled and quinn rolled his eyes. "speak up man." quinn demanded.

"its dumb!" jack said louder now and quinn gave him a deadpanned look, "it cant be that stupid if it's given her years of torment." quinn said irritably. "have you ever thought of life if we hadn't gotten into hockey?" jack questioned and quinn's eyebrows furrowed, "have you ever thought of how life would have played out? the freedom we'd have or the ability to plan our own future?" he added. quinn sighed, as he continued to listen. "its stupid because when we moved to michigan, i was hurting. i didn't or couldn't understand why. i didn't understand when i was supposedly living out my dream of playing for team usa, and dedicating my life and time to the sport that we love. i think apart of me hated that we had to move, or that i did. mom and dad didn't listen to me when i said i'd move there by myself, but then they said that luke has a shot of getting into the program too so it would be easier to move everybody. but they didn't listen to when i asked about kailey, and how she'd adjust. i was hurting because i felt like a burden, because of the way kailey reacted to the move. she began to cry, she began to yell at mom and dad about how they were ruining their lives, and then she began to scream at me. telling me how selfish i was, and how much of a brat i was because we were moving because of me." jack paused to sniffle and wipe a stray tear.

"i was hurt because she was hurt, and then i took my anger and frustration and sadness out on her. which was wrong of me, i now understand and know. when we got there, i took on the burden of having to prove how beneficial it was for me or us to move. had to be number one in order to prove to kailey that it was the best decision. had to show everybody that i was meant to be there. all the while, she was hurting because of me and i was too narrow-minded-" quinn cut him off, "you were a dummy." and jack nodded in agreement.

"once i started to make sly comments towards her and about, it snowballed and i knew it was too far past redemption or apologies. so i rolled with it. i became the villain in her story, and if i could go back now - i'd do it differently. it was not fair or right of me to treat her that way. mom and dad didn't raise me to be that way, and i let them down. i let all of you down, especially kailey."

_

back to kailey:

she sat down in the aesthetically pleasing therapist's office, as her mom waited outside. she sat down in front of the woman her mom had told her about, and how she would be able to help if they were a good fit.

"so kailey, do you know why your mom brought you here today?" the younger woman questioned and kailey nodded. "because im depressed." she stated as her hands clasped together and began to fidget with them. "how long would you say you've been depressed, kailey?" the social worker questioned softly. the blonde girl swallowed counting in her head, "i would say for six years now." she stated and the social worker nodded. "do you know what triggered it? or anything that might have been the start of it?" they questioned sitting back to let the blonde speak.

kailey nodded, "when we moved from toronto to ann arbor for my brother jacks hockey program. my parent's didn't listen when i said i didn't want to move. i didn't want to uproot my life that had finally calmed down." she began, "once we moved, jack became mean. i mean we didn't always get along growing up but enough to where when he began to taunt me, say mean things to me- it was almost as if it was whiplash. i couldn't believe that he'd do such a thing. at the time, i was also mean. i was mean to my parents because i couldn't accept that they'd made this terrible decision. i was mad because they didn't let jack come to michigan like our older brother quinn did, when he joined the same program. and then luke became even more dedicated to hockey as well. it felt like i was losing my support system and Irish twin, but in reality i wasn't. it just felt like i was losing control on the world i had hated for years. hockey took away my brothers. took away my life and family. everything bad that has happened in my life, is because of it. i can't stand to watch it, i only went for my oldest brother - quinns - pro debut in vancouver and then i haven't been to a game since. i even told my other brother luke who will be at michigan this year, that i wont watch his games. i wish him well and hope he doesn't get hurt, but i know that hurts him. i know it. but i cant allow myself to watch it or even think about it." kailey said before taking a pause to breathe.

the social worker spoke up, "it is not unusual for you to have created boundaries. we do that as a coping mechanism, even if other do not see it as such. we do it so we can protect our hearts, our minds and our psyche. you cutting off hockey is not surprising. its a triggering thing for you, which makes sense given your relationship to jack." they paused to change course a bit, "my next question is...have you used those boundaries to in turn harm yourself in anyway?" they questioned. kailey felt as if the air was knocked out of her, as she felt tears form. she swallowed them down, before taking a breath. kailey nodded, before breaking down. the social worker watched for a few seconds, before moving over to the couch next to the girl. the social worker hesitated before wrapping her arms around the girl, who immediately grasped onto her arms. the social worker rubbed her upper back, trying to comfort the girl.

nobody had ever asked her that before, nobody knew the great lengths she had gone to have some sort of control over her life.

"yes." kailey breathed as anxiety coursed through her. the social worker nodded and continued to hold her for a few more minutes, before kailey calmed down. she wiped her tears and took a few tissues that were on the coffee table before her.

the social worker moved back to the other chair and waited for kailey to speak.

"i didn't realize it at first, but I've known for some time that my eating habits aren't healthy. i used food as a way to have some control in my life, when decisions were being made for me and the way that people treated me at home and at school. i used it because i couldn't control my environment. i haven't self harmed myself in a year, since jack left and people began to leave me alone at school. i took their words out on myself, because i felt like i deserved it for whatever reason. i took the way people viewed me to heart, and knew that that was another way i could harm myself." kailey explained, and the social worker nodded.

"how are your eating patterns now?" she asked kailey and the girl shrugged. "could be better, could be worse." she said before she dived into them, and how they had gotten better over the past year but worsened when jack came home for the offseason. the social worker and her dug deep into that conversation, before the social worker had one more question to ask.

"have you ever had an attempt?" they questioned and kailey sighed, before looking away. she had pushed that moment into the back of her mind for so, so long. she didn't like to think of it because it didn't work, and felt embarrassed about it.

"yeah i uh, i was alone a weekend during my sophomore year. jack had one last tournament with team USA and my parents took my brother luke to canada for it. and because i could drive, i stayed back. and I've uh never told anybody that before." she finished before chugging more of the coffee she had brought. the social worker nodded, "so it was just the once?" they clarified and the girl nodded. "i feel ashamed and embarrassed. but i didn't have anybody to call. i couldn't call q because he was canada working, and then i couldn't call luke because he was also with my parents and my best friend becca was living her life back in toronto. i was all alone, and had nobody." she finished and the social worker nodded. "for starters, i want to thankyou for sharing me all that you did today. it is difficult to come into an unfamiliar space with somebody you don't know, and share your deepest secrets and the one's you hide from the world. it takes courage and strength my dear, and those are things you do not lack." the social worker began and they saw a small smile form on the girls pale features. "and i know things will come up as we meet, but how about we come up with a plan for moving forward, things we will do together and what you'll do on your own?" and kailey nodded.

_

kailey waited in the small waiting room for her mom to come out of the office. the social worker wanted time with her mother to talk about what had been shared and their plan moving forward, with the consent of kailey ofcourse- since she was 18. ellen came out with a puffy face and thanked the social worker before the two walked out. ellen took ahold of her daughter's hand as they walked back to the car. the two hopped into the car and ellen sat there as kailey got her seatbelt on. ellen sniffled before looking at her youngest baby before grabbing ahold of her left hand, "im sorry you've had to deal with all of that without anybody knowing. im sorry you've had to carry so much pain, shame and anger these past years here. im sorry that i didn't notice sooner, my love." ellen said as a tear broke through. kailey nodded in acknowledgment taking ahold of her mom's hand with her other, and smiled. "i appreciate that mom, i really do." she smiled before ellen kissed her daughter's temple. she wiped her tears before turning on the car, "how about we go surprise luke for dinner?" and kailey nodded profusely.

im sorry that was so sad ): hope you enjoyed tho!

[iamcxlleigh]

𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 | 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒

𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⨟ since you joined the team, you have felt as if you were part of a family, no matter how much time passes you will always consider the Bureau as your home and the team as your safe place, your family.

𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⨟ no warning of any kind, just a little love and affection from the team for you. 🤍

𝐧/𝐚 ⨟ english is not my native language, an apology for any grammatical or spelling errors.

(the reader has a default name, I do not use y/n).

The elevator doors opened letting you cross the corridors of the building until you went through the glass doors that went directly to your work area, you had received a call from Hotch indicating that you should go quickly to the office, they required all of you at that moment.

In the middle of the night three days after your last case, it was really amazing how after dealing with one problem, another bigger one came along.

And to top it all off, on your birthday. Which hadn't turned out to be much fun, spending your first birthday since moving to Quantico alone, with no family or friends to see you.

You hadn't shown up to work today to finish up some things for your move and you told Hotch, even though it was the real reason, deep down you didn't feel like going anywhere, you received congratulations from your friends and family from a distance but none from your coworkers, it was a little disappointing.

Everything was dark except for a few lights and lamps on the desks, your desk was empty, while Reid's, Morgan's and Elle's still had papers and their suitcases nearby.

— Hello? — You called, but no one seemed to be around, just the empty noise of the air ducts.

It would already be eight months since you joined the FBI and joined the BAU, being a little younger than your colleague Spencer Reid, you managed to mesh more quickly with him and empathize a lot with JJ, then the trust became mutual with Elle, Morgan and Garcia, until finally gaining the acceptance and respect of Hotch and Gideon.

It was quite a process, but you fought to get to where you are and you were proud.

You went to Garcia's cave and upon entering you found the monitors turned off and no sign of her, you were going to peek into Hotch's office until he found you roaming the halls looking for everyone.

— Hotch, what are you-

— James, come on. It's urgent — Your superior interrupted you looking at you sternly, indicating with his hand the way back to your area, Hotchner seemed in a hurry and really serious.

— Yes, sir — You answered without wanting to waste any more time, you walked behind Hotch noticing that both his office and Gideon's had the lights off, surely this case came as a surprise.

He stepped forward and opened the door to the boardroom where the big round table was, he stood at the door leaving it open to let you in, the moment you did you opened your eyes with great surprise not knowing what to do.

— ¡Happy Birthday, Connie! — Garcia, JJ, Reid, Elle and Morgan spoke enthusiastically when they saw you, Penelope smiling ran to your side to hug you, and everyone present with a warm smile applauded you, well except for Gideon who looked on with a small smile in silence, as did Hotch.

You looked at a birthday cake on the table with white and pink cream with sparkles of all colors, with several candles, in the middle two candles with the number 23.

— Wow, guys — You hugged Penelope back with so much affection that you could melt her - It wasn't necessary, this is-.

— It was JJ's idea, she bought the candles — Derek said approaching you with the same birthday hat that Reid wore for his birthday, he put the hat on your head and put his arm around your shoulders and walked you into the living room.

— But Hotch was the first to remember your birthday — JJ laughed before giving you a warm hug when Morgan removed his arm.

— Garcia and Morgan had the plan of not calling you today to make you think we forgot — Aaron spoke walking beside you with a slight smile, you looked at your boss before laughing.

— Reid and I picked the cake — Next was Elle who pointed to herself and then to Spencer with a smile.

— Yes and thanks to Gideon we knew which one was the right one, he told us your favorite flavor — Spencer continued, you directed your gaze to Jason who was sitting in one of the chairs at the table, with a questioning look, you had never told any of them your favorite flavor.

— Chocolate — It was the only thing Jason said when he saw your look, you looked so surprised that everyone noticed it and laughed.

You forgot for a moment that you were working surrounded by expert profilers.

— Well! James has to blow out the candles for us to eat the cake — Morgan said, taking a lighter out of his pocket.

JJ lifted the cake in his hands as the candles were lit, Morgan put his arm around your shoulders as he whistled animatedly, Penelope and Reid stood on your left side and Elle at the other end surrounding you as they applauded.

Gideon got up from his seat and also took the detergent to approach you putting on his reading glasses, and Hotch still beside him with his little smile as he crossed his arms.

— Before I make my wish, I thank you very much for this, really — You spoke looking at all of them infinitely grateful, even your eyes got a little watery because of some tears that were showing.

— Don't cry honey, you have earned it. We all love you very much — Penelope spoke, feeling that she was getting sentimental too.

— Penelope is right, sweetheart — smiled Morgan, lowering her eyes a little to look at you.

— Now, make a wish, Connie — said JJ, holding the cake a little closer to you in his hands.

You looked at them all one last time, before closing your eyes and thinking very well about your wish, full of happiness.

You thought as you clasped your hands together on your chest. . .

— Did you make your wish? — JJ spoke, you nodded smiling before blowing out the candles, immediately you heard everyone's applause and some laughter.

As you opened your eyes you watched as JJ grabbed a knife he brought from home to start chopping up the all chocolate cake with some strawberries on top and the two birthday candles with your newly turned age on them.

Sitting at the big round table with some gifts for you on it, You smiled looking at them all who were also sitting at their stations, happy to celebrate the birthday with you.

— It remains to give you the gift from me, James — said Rossi, rising from his chair, quite anxious to give it to you.

— Oh Rossi, you didn't have to — You answered arranging your dark polo sweater, you laughed when you saw him leaving the room.

— You know how he is, he loves to give gifts and see the person's reaction — Luke laughed from his chair, you both laughed at his comment finding truth in his words.

— Come on! I think it's cute — Garcia said hitting Alvez's arm, he was standing behind the brunet with his phone taking pictures, the good light of the day helped a lot.

— Garcia, try to get them all right, 50 out of 100 pictures you take come out blurry — Said Emily going to JJ's side to help her distribute the pieces among you, everyone laughed at what Prentiss said.

She grabbed her gray hair in a ponytail and took two pieces for Luke and Penelope.

— Don't forget to save a piece for Tara, she's running late today — You told JJ wanting everyone to have a piece of your birthday cake.

— I'm not forgetting, Connie — The blonde affirmed, setting the piece aside for Lewis.

After several minutes, Rossi returned with a large box wrapped in wrapping paper and a red bow, you opened your mouth in surprise at such a gift.

— Wow Rossi, what is this? — You got up from your chair walking over to the white haired agent, David smiled giving you the gift.

— Find out for yourself — He was really looking forward to see your reaction, Garcia started recording with his phone while you put the box on the table and removed the wrapping paper.

As you removed some of the paper, you opened your eyes in disbelief as you laughed with excitement, you saw Rossi laugh as well, opening his arms to receive you in a hug, you hugged him tightly in gratitude.

— A LEGO? — JJ said blankly, crossing his arms.

— It's not just any LEGO, JJ. It's from Harry Potter — Garcia replied, mesmerized by your gift as she continued recording.

— From Hogwarts! — You said happily looking at the box, a LEGO set to build the great magical castle.

David knew how much you liked those books and movies, and also how much you loved puzzles and collectible figures, and he thought this would be a great gift.

— You have to invite me to build it — Alvez said, extending his hand to you for a high five.

— I will — You assured him, high-fiving him with determination, like the good friends you were.

— Let's take a picture! All together — Expressed Emily with her phone in her hand, inviting them all.

Prentiss smiled stretching her arm out to get everyone in the selfie, you were a few steps further back with JJ and Penelope hugging you with a smile with Rossi and Luke on either end, ready for the photo.

Truly be happy with one more birthday at BAU, graced to continue to give your all in your work and to be able to continue to save lives.

And every year, as you close your eyes as you make your wish surrounded by your team, you have always made the same wish without fail.

That this team that had become a family to you, always be healthy and happy, ready to meet new challenges together.

— 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 —

‹ 26. 04. 2023 ›

credits for : @iamcxlleigh

calleigh angelo ──── ‘lista maestra’

¡Nos vemos! 🗯️

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 2 Side B Round 2

The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives

"The moon will sing a song for me I loved you like the sun Bore the shadows that you made With no light of my own I shine only with the light you gave me"

There! Right there! (Is [blank] Gay or European?) - Legally Blonde the Musical

"Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee Is he gay or European? Well, hey, don't look at me! You see, they bring their boys up different In those charming foreign ports They play peculiar sports In shiny shirts and tiny shorts"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives

Propaganda:

No Propaganda Submitted

Animatics with the song:

ROTTMNT

The Owl House

Unus Annus Ikea AU

The Owl House

Rainworld

There! Right there! (Is [blank] Gay or European?) - Legally Blonde the Musical

Propaganda:

I promise you that any anime (or other show but I swear it is mainly animes) with two or more male characters will have an animatic for this song. It just will, of is the natural part of the process of a fandom becoming popular. People know this song even if they think they don't know this song. It is so catchy it eats you from the inside out.

It's legally blonde and a musical which is prine queer culture. Fandom is queer culture. Plus it's a banger song with a lot of fun animatics. A lot of other "fandom" songs are kinda really sad (Two Birds cough cough) and this one is just silly goofy. It's also just the right decision.

There were SO MANY of these back in the day like i swear no m/m fandom ship was immune. Extra points if the character was actually european

look, it's a classic. try and find a fandom without an animatic to gay or european. you could find one for nearly any fandom for multiple characters even. the "i thought you said...best friend" set of lines is used in incorrect quote posts to this day. it's iconic, it's a classic, we all know and love it

Every piece of media has at least one (1) character who is very gay (usually for another) and this song shows that through desperate self denial but they get there eventually. Even now I see new animatics with this song I love so dearly, demonstrating the power of this song and icon Elle Woods. You search up “is __ gay or European” on YouTube and videos from years past and mere moments ago will cover your page.

Animatics with the song:

Demon Slayer Giyuu

Room of Swords

Ace Attorney Miles Edgeworth

Revolutionary Girl Utena

OMORI

Genshin Impact Pantalone

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

[siravalondulac]

vi. the smith

meet me in the dark, kiss me in the moonlight

asoiaf ff | jon snow x fem!oc

summary: jon walks around castle black and spots elle somewhere she should perhaps not be word count: 829 warnings: none

masterlist

previous | next

After two days, the storm had finally passed and Jon wasn’t confined to the underground passageways anymore. And although he had never loved the sun as much as others might, he had to say he missed walking around the castle in its light.

Many of his brothers seemed to share this sentiment, as he had rarely seen so many men going after their work outside. Even Albett had joined them outside, though Jon supposed that was more due to coercion than his personal want.

“This thing is falling apart already,” Albett said as he kicked a wood panel into place. “I don’t understand why we should try and fix anything.”

The storm had done considerable damage to the wooden ramparts and stone walls of Castle Black, so Othell Yarwyck had recruited anyone who didn’t have a more important duty to help with the repairs. The recruits were the first to fall victim. Ghost, however, had taken off north of the Wall to hunt. Lucky dog.

“Well, he ain't wrong,” Grenn said from the upper floor. “I almost broke my neck the past week walking down the stairs. And that was no storm causing that.”

“That's no proof. You'd fall down the stairs of Highgarden if you ever set foot in the castle,” Pyp countered.

“I wouldn't want to go there anyways.”

Jon shook his head at the antics of his friends, even though he couldn't suppress a smile.

“You really should want to see Highgarden,” Sam chimed in. “It is no Hightower, but the architecture is truly noteworthy.”

Jon could already feel the insults on the other's tongues, so he quickly said, “No matter what, no castle will ever be as grand as Winterfell, I can assure you that.”

“'Course he'd say that,” Grenn said.

The group went quiet again. Jon went to move one of the boards at the end of the staircase in place. He looked around in confusion.

“Does anyone have any nails left?”

A resounding “No” came from everyone in the group.

“Fine. I'll go get some.”

He had quickly found what he needed in the armoury and was on his way back when he noticed several brothers standing at the foot of the Tower of Guards, looking upwards. Intrigued, he walked towards them.

Following their gaze, he noticed a woman sitting on the tower's roof.

“What is Elle doing up there?” he asked the man next to him. Jon had seen him before but couldn't remember his name.

“Fixing the roof,” the man answered. “She's the only one able to get up there.”

Jon's eyes wandered down and up the side of the tower. He spotted a few alcoves and jutted-out bricks, but nothing providing a true way to reach the top.

“How?”

The man shook his head. “Don't ask. You need to see it for yourself to believe, it's as if she can stick to the walls by herself.”

“We can be glad she ain't no wildling,” a blonde haired man spoke up. “Otherwise the Wall would have long fallen.”

Jon looked up again. Elle sat dangerously close to the edge, teetering on falling over. And yet she didn't seem to pay any mind to it.

“Instead of standing around uselessly down there one of you could finally pull up the box I know you already have,” Elle shouted from above.

“Get it yourself! Or are you such a weak and fragile little lady that you-”

The blonde man let out a high-pitched screech as a brick fell down right in front of his face. It landed with a loud thud on the wooden floor. The three men around him broke out in laughter.

“You missed,” one of them shouted.

“Better get me that box or I shall not next time.”

The man Jon had spoken to walked towards a rope hanging down from one of the windows. He grabbed it with both hands and started pulling, heaving a small chest upwards.

“You scream like a girl,” a man said, still laughing.

“Do not!”

Jon's gaze stayed on Elle, even as the men started bickering amongst themselves. She had noticed the rope moving. Putting down whatever tool she had been holding, she grabbed ahold of the edge and swung herself over it, as if she had done it a thousand times before. She climbed down the short distance to the window and took ahold of the chest as soon as she could reach it. She placed it on the window sill, took something out of it and quickly climbed back to the roof.

Jon's amazement must have been written clear on his face, because when the man had let the rope to the ground again and turned towards him he said, “Told you so.”

He didn't know how to respond, so he just nodded and walked towards the staircase he was supposed to be fixing right now.

And even though he tried, he knew the smile on his face was clear to see.

previous | next

[magpiesbones]

I love making playlists and was wondering if you have any songs that you associate with Witch Hat Atelier, The Raven Cycle or Howl's Moving Castle/House of Many Ways/Castle in the Air specifically?

Ooh or Hands if the Emperor?

oh this is a Really fun ask bc I found this really good trc playlist (unlinkable unfortunately) and it’s forever The trc playlist to me.

for witch hat I like a lot of Florence and the machine, but Forgiveness (許) by 4s4ki and silent legacy by Melissa etheridge also go very hard but I don’t really make playlists so. Most of my witch hat songs are ‘listen to while writing German college’ songs.

under the cut is the full TRC playlist written out.

like real people do- hosier

ghosts- the head and the heart

sea of love- cat power

dreams- Fleetwood Mac (or insert favorite cover)

Diplomats son- vampire weekend

arsonists lullaby- hosier

the mortal boy king— the paper kites

rivers and roads— the head and the heart

past lives— børns

I follow rivers— Marika hackman

the anchor- bastille

Bloom- the paper kites

Crooked teeth— death cab for cutie

see you- lady lamb

blame- bastille

5am- amber run

mystery of love- sufjan stevens

spirits- the strumbellas

From Eden- hozier

church- fall out boy

nobody dies- thao & the get down stay down

moving mountains- anima!

the twist- metric

pigeon- cavetown

sick of losing soulmates- dodie

A pound of flesh- radical face

dreaming- small pools

the predatory wasp of the palisades- sufjan stevens

November- sleeping with sirens

October- broken bells

devil in me- halsey

nineteen- tegan and Sara

rewrite the stars- original broadway recording of greatest showman

reflections after Jane- the clientele

The night we met- lord huron

rollercoaster- bleachers

come along (edit)- cosmo sheldrake

Ride- Lana de rey

so much- cavetown

Neptune- sleeping at last

heavens gate- fall out boy

the end of all things- panic at the disco

Willow tree March- the paper kites

Everything is temporary- cavetown

paint- the paper kites

Talk me down- troye sivan

Good times- all time low

Americas sweetheart- Elle king

family- mother mother

ribs- lorde

Call me out- sea girls

Trees- twenty one pilots

scene three: stomach tied in knots- sleeping with sirens

ten feet tall- cavetown

impossible year- panic at the disco

this is gospel- panic at the disco

the yawning grave- lord huron

always gold- radical face

Blue girl- the chromatics

waltz- the naked and famous

midnight city- m83

dream team- Aidan knight

devils playground- the rigs

you should see me in a crown- Billie eilish

teenage mind- Tate mcrae

silver lining- hurts

The wisp sings- winter aid

full circle- half moon run (this one REALLY has the vibe)

maybe we’re home- Lewis watson

wait- m83

July bones- Richard walters

lost it to trying- son lux

heirloom- sleeping at last

meet me in the woods- lord huron

Into the unknown- postcards from mars

welcome home son- radical face

young god- halsey

monsters calling home- run River north (also THE vibe)

let’s kill tonight- panic at the disco

No light no light- florence and the machine

these days are numbered- the head and the heart

hold on- Lewis watson

house of memories- panic at the disco

home- hollow coves

loneliness- SIAM

the funeral- band of horses

drive- halsey

gold- sir sly

another night on mars- the maine

we can try- between the trees

we’ll be the stars- Sabrina carpenter

why- Sabrina carpenter

slow dancing in the dark- joji

talk- coldplay

graveyard- halsey

the other side- Conan grey

Daughter- sleeping at last

if I get high- nothing but thieves

graveyard whistling- nothing but thieves

in this shirt- the irrepressibles

two men in love- the irrepressibles

[earthwindandraen]

TASK 001: The Crescent Key - A Rae Elle Park Playlist

Music is a really, really big part of Rae's life. If asked, she'll always say that she doesn't have much of a preference, and it's actually true. No matter the decade, the genre, the artist, Rae Elle has a deep appreciation for all manner of music that can often be seen in her daily life. Typically, if she's working at Broken Record, patrons are liable to hear a very eclectic variety of music to play over the stereo depending on what Rae Elle feels like playing. Very rarely does what she's playing coincide with her mood. Rae's a pretty happy person, all things considered, despite what's lurking in her head and heart. Even when she's playing The Moody Blues, she's more often than not got a smile on her face.

With that being said, this playlist has a big focus of Rae's personality as opposed to her personal tastes, each song a reflection of who she is, not just something she might enjoy listening to. In truth, I first thought about breaking this playlist up into a light magic and a dark magic section. However, Rae Elle is a staunch mix of both. Therefore, her playlist is one cohesive, homogenous mix of light and dark and genre, all tangled together with themes of witchcraft, rebirth, and freedom. There's goth, metal, rock, folk, and country all working together to show off who Rae Elle Park is.

Listen here. Songs detailed below the cut.

Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees | And don't forget when your elders forget / To say their prayers / Take them by the legs / And throw them down the stairs

Which Witch by Florence + The Machine | I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out / Who's a heretic now? / Am I making sense? / How can you make it stick?

Jaded by Spiritbox | And I've always been ashamed that I wanna / Fall into a dream with my honour desecrated / Blood is jaded / I've never found a way to be honest / All I know is a place where I haunted

Bottom of the River by Delta Rae | If you get sleep or if you get none / (The cock's gonna call in the morning, baby) / And check the cupboard for your daddy's gun / (Red sun rises like an early warning)

Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac | She is like a cat in the dark / And then she is to darkness / She rules her life like a fine skylark / And when the sky is starless

Black Magic by Magic Wands | There is a crescent key / That locks a hole in the door / Into the pit of your heart / The future is the reward

Burn the Witch by Shawn James | But I won't scream, won't give them that satisfaction / No, I won't confess my false interaction / As I breathe deep and prepare for my passing / I hear them chant, "Burn the witch"

Lady May by Tyler Childers | I'm a stone's throw from the mill / And I'm a good walk to the river / When my workin' day is over / We'll go swim our cares away

Freedom by Dorothy | Take me down to the south land / Oh I need that humid air / I put two feet through the old church door / Holy water on through my hair

seven by Taylor Swift | And I've been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / Your dad is always mad and that must be why / And I think you should come live with / Me and we can be pirates / Then you won't have to cry

The House of the Rising Sun by Dolly Parton | So mothers you go telling all your daughters / Not to do what I've done / To live a life of sin, shame and strife / In the house of the rising sun

To Someone from a Warm Climate by Hozier | "Uiscefhuaraithe" / The feel of coldness only water brings / There are some things that no one teaches you, love / That come natural as a dream, you didn't know that you were in

Persephone by Cocteau Twins | Hey, the chances I must waste / Hey, ever dirge, even their moth got a jar / Is what it takes

Season of the Witch by Donovan | When I look over my shoulder / What do you think I see? / Some other cat lookin' over / His shoulder at me / And he's strange, sure is strange

[matthew-gray-gubler-lover]

meeting the team

you and spencer both knew when you first become a couple that it might end like this, one of you holding the other begging them to hold on, to stay with you, please don't die because they love you so much, you both knew but always hoped it would never happen.

june 23rd 2006 you had on a light pink button up top and black pants, it was your first day at the B.A.U you were hired by Aaron Hotchner you met him a few times but never anyone else on the team, it was till today as you entered the bullpen you see a few people, you don't know if you should talk to then or look for hotch, but then a man catches your eye he's talking rather quickly and gets cut off by a man telling him "nobody cares reid, and why do you know that?"

"because i read it in a book" the man answers.

he is wearing a dark blue sweater and tan pants and slick back brown hair and has a cup of coffee, you find him really sexy and hope that he is one of your them members.

"hi holly welcome to the B.A.U" hotch says hugging you.

"thank you Mr hotchner"

"please call me hotch" he smiles

"ok i will"

hotch walks you deeper in the bullpen

"are you ready to meet you team? he asks

you take a deep breath "yes i am"

"hey everybody can you welcome our new team member holly moore?"

they all walk over to you

"hi am Dereck Morgan"

"i am Elle Greenaway"

"Jason Gideon"

"hi my friends call me JJ and i can tell we are going to be friends"

and there he was waiting to talk to you, the fast-talking man, "oh my gosh he is a part of my team"

"Hello my name is Doctor spencer reid, and sorry i don't shake hands, i have a thing about germs, not that i think that you have germs, i mean everyone does but i don't think that you are a dirty person, i just don't like to touch" he smiles.

"wow reid really?" morgan asks.

"well i don't want her to think that it's just her" spencer tells him.

"let's go to the meeting room, we have a case" hotch tells the team.

it really didn't bother you that reid talked fast or didn't want to touch you, you are happy to spend some time with him, and the whole team.

when you walk into the room there is a big table there and 9 chairs, you don't know where to sit so you don't, that is till reid pulls a chair out for you.

"please sit, that is if you don't mind sitting next to me"

"i don't mind at all, and don't worry i will make sure not to touch you" you smile how could you not smile with him looking at you, with his beautiful brown eyes, oh boy this is going to be a hard job for you working alongside doctor spencer reid, but you will make it work, if you can just focus on the case and not on the sexy man next to you.

"so far it's been for women killed in LA all of them stabbed at least 20 times" hotch says.

"so no sexual assault?" morgan asks.

"no" hotch answers.

"well it is summer vacation a killer's playground" elle adds.

"well we need to stop him before he makes it to five victims, wheels up in 30" hotch says.

you all start to get up but as you do you hear a voice.

"hey i....i don't mind if you touch me, i don't want things to be weird between us" reid tells you with his hand on your arm.

"not at all, i like you already, you must be very smart to be a doctor already"

"well i have a lot of PHD's" he smiles.

"oh, well you are very smart then, i am happy to be working with you"

"and i am happy to be working with you" he tells you.

after everyone is one the jet, they start pulling out their files and going over crime scene photos and notes, since it is your first case, and it is young women being killed you are more than a little nervous, and sitting next to spencer reid is making it worse, you like him, and that is the problem, he is very cute, and from the time you have spent with him very nice and smart, he would never want someone like you, so you need to stop thinking about it and focus on the case, you take out a file and open it, and you see in the corner of you eye reid is taking something out of his pocket, you look over to see and he is now wearing glasses, he looks even cuter now, this is going to be impossible to not think about him, then the team starts talking about the case.

"so these women were all killed the same way?" elle asks.

"yes, all after leaving their boyfriends hanging out by the pool" morgan answers.

"did anyone talk to the boyfriends?" Gideon asks.

"yes, and they all had the same story, they were by the pool and the women goes to get a drink or go back to the hotel room, and they are found dead" hotch tells the team.

"so they were safe as long as they are with the boyfriend, but as soon as they are alone the killer strikes" reid says looking up from his file.

"it seems so yes" hotch answers.

"are the boyfriends willing to talk to use?" gideon asks.

"yes, i was told to call when we are ready for them" hotch answers.

"do you have anything you want to know holly?" hotch asks.

"well i do but it's silly" you tell him.

"i'm sure it's not, with is it?" hotch asks putting down his file.

"well these women are close to my age, am i going to be safe there?" you ask.

"of course, we are staying in the hotel where all of this is happening, but you will be safe" hotch tells you.

"ok, thank you" you say and look back at your file, you wish you could believe that you will be safe there, but in a room alone in a hotel where young women are being killed doesn't sit well with you.

reid seems to notice that and starts talking to you.

"are you ok?" he asks sweetly.

"not really, i mean two of these girls look kind of like me don't you think?" you asked holding up a photo.

"a little bit yes, but trust me we will not let you get hurt, i know it's scary seeing stuff like this, but one day you won't even notice it anymore, it will just be another photo"

"really?"

"yes, i promise"

"and in the meantime?" you ask.

"in the meantime, you have really good people around you, we are a family and we look out for each other"

"but this is my first day" you whisper.

"it doesn't matter, you are a part of the team, you are a part of our family" he smiles.

"thank you reid, is it ok if i call you that, or should i call you doctor?" you ask.

"reid if fine, or spencer if you would like, that's ok too"

"ok, and you can call me holly"

"ok, holly" he smiles and chuckles.

[lumiereandcogsworth]

lydia’s 2022 ao3 wrapped

(tagging myself from @jimmypricegf !!)

works published: 44! holy shit dude!

word count: 71,903 !! HOLY SHIT DUDE!

bookmarks: by others: 71, by me: 16

shortest fic: adam’s beloved ladies, 200 words even! that fic may be short but oooooh my gosh it sure is beloved

longest fic: blossoms bloom and light shines through, 8,387 words / 6 chapters <3 i love that fic so much, man. i’m really proud of myself for how it turned :)

gifts: none!

collabs: none!

events: none!

most popular by kudos AND hits: the most wonderful day (3,979 words / 3 chapters) with 721 hits and 64 kudos ! love that one SOOO much your honor. oh my goodness

most popular by comments: same as my longest fic, it had so much more engagement than i expected and i’m so thankful for that!!

fic that made me smile: oh SOOOOO many. oh my goodness. so many?? how could i pick one. this year i got really into perc’ahlia so i’m just going to tag these amazing writers: @katia-dreamer @ghostofwhitestone @romeoandjulietyouwish @burr-ell @blorbologist @pagerunner-j @percivalium + people on ao3 that idk their tumblrs (vexahlia_de_rolo ?? i love?? where art thou??) + people i am 100% forgetting & please don’t take it personally it’s just my brain: thank you all SO MUCH for your words. i have been very extremely normal about them (lie)

fic that made me cry: uhhh?? see above??????? you all have absolutely brought tears to my eyes congratulations

overall, i am SUPER proud of myself!! i made a goal back in january that i wanted to write and post something at least once a month. no word count requirement, just something new and something that i cared about (meaning, not just writing something and posting it to fulfill the goal). and i did it!! i cut it kind of close this month, i was pretty unmotivated and my christmas fic took quite some time to get down on paper, so to speak. but i did it!! idk if i’ll do this goal again for 2023, or perhaps i should set a goal to work on one (or both) of my two big AU’s 😅 that sounds like a good idea. either way, cheers to 2022 writer lyd!💖

tagging: well i already tagged a bunch of writers, go off my beloveds. additional tags: @finnwolfhrd @gavotteangel @trulyhopelessromantic @freakwiththeknifecollection @thavron + absolutely anyone can do this and say i tagged them :)

[pearl-blue-musings]

honestly elle i see you and shinso as having the sweetest, most loving relationship built on the little things. like he’s a little standoffish at first and has a hard time verbalizing what he needs/how he feels, so early in your relationship you both learn how to communicate via music (should i mention the leds? imma mention the leds) and the color of his leds. purple and lofi means he’s looking for comfort, red and fast means his heart’s still racing, blue and slow means you need to hold him a little closer. it’s a normal thing for him, something he does instinctually rather than purposefully, but something i think you pick up on really fast, and when you do, you get really, really good at giving him what he needs without him ever saying a word. and then one day, he doesn’t turn on the lights, and he has no music playing, and he doesn’t know what can help him snap out of this Thing he’s in… until he hears you singing in the other room, and he is just—he falls in love with you all over again. It takes him a few more weeks to work up the nerve to ask you to sing to him, and even then it’s only when he’s half-asleep, when he can’t stop the nightmares from trying to steal his days, too, and he’s not entirely sure if he’s dreaming when it slips out, but he is sure it’s the best sleep he’s ever had, as your voice lulls him into a sense of sweet safety he’s only ever given, never felt.

I held onto this as long as I could cause aaahhhhhhhh this made me really really happy and just so soft for this man. Like, I love to sing in the shower so this is just perfect for me. I’m also bad at verbalizing what I want and need so this is something I think the two of us could discover and work on together and that’s just so super sweet to me 🥺

tell me a hc about me and my self ship

[redwineconversation]

Amel Majri FFF Article (December 26, 2022)

I usually hate giving clicks to FFF while Diacre is still employed, but I also have about 6 videos to translate/transcribe and since I am at my mom's house / don't have cleaning and laundry to do as an excuse for avoiding those translations, I have to resort to other excuses instead.

Blah blah standards disclaimers apply, @OL Comms pls pls buy me Starbucks I will do anything, y'all know the speech by now.

AMEL MAJRI: "BEING A MOTHER, IT CHANGES YOUR LIFE"

After suffering a serious injury in October 2021, the French international player at Olympique Lyonnais, who gave birth to little Maryam last summer, returned to the Lyon group in mid-December. She looks back on her last months, magnificent and emotional at the same time.

A meeting was set at Olympique Lyonnais training center for a 20 minute interview which lasted twice that, filled with anecdotes and smiles. Amel Majri, who will celebrate her 30th birthday on January 25, showed up alone but Maryam was not far away. On the ground floor of the building, the left back or left winger had found someone amongst her teammates to babysit. The one whose nickname is the OL baby saw the light of day on July 5, 2022 in a period where Amel Majri became the first international French player to give birth while still playing professionally. Surrounded by her loved ones, supported by her club which extended her contract until 2026 shortly after she had given birth, the international French player acknowledges having taken advantage of her time away due to her torn ACL and meniscus on the left knee to start having a baby with her husband. Having rapidly become pregnant, she experienced a whirlwind of emotions and then a race against time to return to the field. For FFF.FR, she rewinds the film and walks us through her new life.

HER NEW LIFE: "Life is very, very good"

"With the year coming to an end, we went in search of happiness near you. Life is good, Amel?"

It [life] is very, very good for me. Being a mother, it changes your life. It asks for a lot of sacrifices but it's a nice change.

The nights aren't too difficult?

At first, it was hard, I really suffered as soon as I gave birth because I had a 30-hour labor which ended with a cesarian. After, I breastfed. To give your breast [to your baby', not sleep, wake up 5 to 6 times a night, every hour or every two hours, it was hard. Since mid-September, she only wakes up once! For a normal person, six hours of sleep, that might not seem like a lot but for me, it's like having 10 hours of sleep! Au début, c’était dur, j’ai galéré dès ma sortie d’accouchement car j’ai eu 30 heures de travail achevées par une césarienne. Ensuite, j’ai allaité. Donner le sein, ne pas dormir, se lever 5 à 6 fois par nuit, toutes les heures ou les deux heures, c’était difficile. Depuis mi-septembre, elle ne se réveille plus qu’une fois ! Pour une personne lambda, 6 heures de sommeil, ça peut ne pas paraître énorme mais pour moi, actuellement, c’est comme une nuit de 10 heures ! 

Does it test your patience?

Honestly sometimes, you snap. You're not used to it, it's new, and you're maybe not conditioned to live like that. We should be more supported. Yeah, sometimes, I did snap and it was really hard. What got me through it, it's the love you have for your child. You know why she is waking up: she's hungry, she was to be close to you and feel you.

You have birth to little Maryam on July 5, 2022. What sort of baby is she?

She is full of pep, she moves around a lot and gets bigger every day. She likes being in her mother's arms, she got into that habit (she laughs). She is calm and only cries when she is hungry.

Who does she look like?

The first time we saw her, we didn't really know who she looked like the most. There are days when she looks more like her father ad others where she looks more like me. Sometimes, my husband and I like to tease each other: "she doesn't look like you". She takes after both of us and I see myself [in her], after with her hair! (She shows us a picture of the screensaver on her phone and starts laughing).

Would you say it is easy to juggle life as a mother, a woman, and an athlete?

I'm not going to lie to you. If I had to do it again, I don't think I would do it. I'm torn. On the one hand, we have to advance in France and in order to do that, there has to be pioneers because it would be discriminatory to make it difficult for us to have children. On the other hand, there is the reality and the expectations in the world of professional sports. Today, I can breastfeed, but will I be able to do it as much as I want? Are they going to tell me to introduce bottle feeding and mix the two, that it is good as well? If I do that, it's a little as if I am putting my baby in parentheses because of my work. For me, it's hard to do both. There is also something else that we can't control and that's the motor of an athlete: sleep, and with that, recovery. When you don't have any children, preparation and "invisible training", it's just you and your conscience. But here, imagining I am doing everything perfectly, if my daughter wakes up five times a night for two years, I am not going to sleep. if I'm not sleeping, I am not going to be able to play 90 minutes or make it through a 2-hour training. If I had to choose today, I would wait.

What is your schedule?

I pump the milk and I try to organize it with my husband to look after the baby. He is a physical trainer and sometimes we have our training sessions at the same time. The club authorized me to come with my nanny. Up to the age of one year, she can even come with us when we travel. In terms of scheduling, I come to the club with the little one once or twice to the club, when my husband has finished, he comes to pick her up.

Are you able to protect your baby from the media?

Yeah, I don't want her exposed on social media. Even when we get to the stadium, I'm careful that she isn't filmed as to protect her. In the locker room as well, I said to my teammates not to post any InstaStories or anything like that. They respect that. It's my choice. Take the example of "Björki" (Sara Björk Gunnarsdottir, teammate at Lyon between 2020 and 2022 and also a mother), she's the opposite, she puts her child on social media.

Maryam, is she the club's child?

Everyone is happy. When you see a baby, you forget about your worries for a bit. When the players come back from training, they want to take care of her, to hold her, see how much she has grown. Wendie (Renard) and Amandine (Henry) looked after her recently when I was doing my individual sessions. That allowed me to breathe and focus on my recovery.

HER PREGNANCY AND THE DESIRE TO GO ON MATERNITY: "Maryam is the good thing which came from my injury!"

When did this desire to go on maternity start?

It's linked to my injury. I talked with the surgeon who told me that being back for the Euros (2021) would be too tight. I also asked if being pregnant during my recovery would be too risky, he answered that it would. We weighed the pros and cons with my husband and said why not? It happened quickly. (laughter) The good thing which came from my injury, it's Maryam!

You met your partner in 2011 before having a [religious] marriage in 2012 and then a civil marriage in 2018. More than 10 years without having kids, that can seem like a long time..

In normal life, that's true. Even if there are no rules, often it happens after two or three years in a relationship. It's specific to each couple. We know what it takes to be an elite athlete: you can't just take a step back and your career in parentheses. It's not possible when you're younger either: at 22 or 23, you have to prove yourself, gain experience... My husband is patient, he knew what he was getting into! (she smiles)

How did your pregnancy go?

I can't complain because I didn't really have any problems unlike "Björki" for example but at the end, it was long. The delivery, it was the worse moment of my life. When I had the contractions I said to myself, "Come on Amel, you tore your ACL, you climbed mountains..." But it was really hard to do it with the lack of sleep. I went 30 hours without sleep. I had a birth plan which couldn't be followed. I fell apart completely, I couldn't stop crying. Two or three days after having given birth, I went through a sort of baby blues because I wasn't sleeping and I had to breastfeed. It's a small dip and then you go ahead. Talking about this is essential. Okay, your baby was born, she is there and healthy, all is good, life is rosy but there is the flip side: it's not evident or easy. Thankfully, I was supported by my family, friends, and midwives. They were really top and are indispensable.

Were you able to continue playing sports?

The night before I went into labor, I was playing a tennis match! The previous night, I had lost and I wanted revenge. It's probably that which started the labor. At the club, I was doing two training sessions a week, with no contact obviously. The more I advanced in the pregnancy, the more the intensity went down but I kept up a rhythm. I needed an activity because I was getting bored and they told me nothing would happen [to my child].

Beyond your husband, you could also count on the support of your sister, Rachida..

She was a huge support, she took care a lot of Maryam. When you give birth, you get a lot of visits at the hospital. Often, it's in the afternoon, you're awake and the baby is sleeping at that time. So I couldn't just recuperate. My sister came, stayed with me and took care [of Maryam] while I caught up on sleep. She was a massive help. Poor her, I sometimes yelled at her...

HER BODY AND HER INJURY: "I want to come back as a footballer"

How have you found your body?

(She searches for the right words) It's as if I had to turn the power on and off and the machine started back up. I remember when I had to do to heel to bum again, I felt as if I was doing it for the first time. Indeed, I was discovering my body again. No longer running with a big stomach, feeling sensations in the scar of the cesarian.. Sometimes it stretches, it's weird. In terms of progression, I felt as though I was progressing during the sessions with the physical therapist or physical trainer. I was gaining muscle again, I was gaining confidence. And I found my rhythm again thanks to the numerous sessions which increased progressively.

Your last game dates back to literally October 1, 2021 against Bordeaux in the D1 Arkema...

It's true! I remember it as if it was yesterday, I was having a good game with a goal thanks to a combination with Catarina (Macario) and an assist (she smiles)! I get injured in the 60th minute. It wasn't a contact but a light shoulder knock with Vanessa (Gilles). She touches me slight, it puts me off-balance and I fall down. I leave the field, I breakdown because I'm so frustrated. At first, I was on the ground in shock, I heard a crack but I tried to convince myself it wasn't serious. I did three heel-to-bum exercises, I felt that my leg couldn't hold and I understood that it was serious. I told myself, "come on, Amel, it's not in your head, sit down." More than a year, it's long, I can't take it anymore! I'm so eager ... There was the injury, the pregnancy, the labor ... I want to leave it all behind me and become a footballer again but with Maryam (she smiles). There is some positive which came from the injury.

[demcnsinmymind]

thatslayer​:

— “Dude, you’re gettin’ on my damn nerves.” but there’s no bite in her words, not really. He’s got an entire point — it’s soft and squishy and at the top of his head, but he’s got it, “Thank god for that ass or I’d fully tie you to a rock and toss you off the Golden Gate. Watch you sink like a sack fulla kittens.” How she manages to say that fondly, who the hell knows. Can’t calm his fears, might as ell be an asshole about it - besides, he’s got less to worry about from frickin’ cops than he does from that ghost, though. Truly can’t believe he’s been ghost hunting, ever, and doesn’t realize that — but, then. Even with everything he’s seen, every dire and morbid landscape she’s dragged him through? He still smacks of unbeliever. Not something she can pretend to be surprised by at this point. To this day she knows at least one former Watcher that doesn’t believe in vampires —- denial’s still free, apparently, bitches love ’free’.

He starts in on Peg, on everything he can piece together about her life from his research (fuck knows, he’d have made a great Watcher) and it catches her attention for a moment. She has to put to bed the urge to smile at that because there’s that decent dude he doesn’t wanna be. Underneath all the bullshit. Such an idiot.

               She takes hold of his shoulder in one hand, the other shoulder in the other and poises her foot on his boost-ready hands, “Yeah, yeah. You leave, I track you down. Sack'a kittens.” she grumbles, readying herself but, suddenly, her phone goes off and makes her jump — Audioslave should never be a ringtone, but here we are. Faith glances at the screen and shoots it a lil grimace, “Effin’ Whistler. You resurrect one fricking demon and he follows you around like a tail for the rest of your life.” Pointedly puts her phone on airplane mode and shoves it back in her pocket, gets hold of Lance’s shoulders again, “Gotta really throw me, like straight up, okay? You still got that handicam thing?”

“Well if that isn’t an entirely fucked up way of saying that you love me” Lance teases with a shit eating grin, not sure if he’s being serious or not. He could totally see her tossing him off of a bridge and that would be entirely fucked up but at the same time, absolutely digs the compliment on his ass, so it’s a tie. At least until he can’t get the mental image of kittens in a sack sinking to the bottom of the ocean out of his mind. Because damn. Not a nice image at all.

“Too bad I’m a cat person.”

With that, he boosts her up a bit, enjoying the closeness, sight and grip on her a little too much. He’s entirely lost in the show when her phone goes off and forces her to back off again. And he’d be a bit grumpy, if it weren’t for the ringtone.

“Uhh, didn’t take you for the California boy band type” he can’t help but jab at her, even though he’s perfectly aware that this band is anything but. He tries to sneak a peek at the caller ID, sticking out his tongue a little bit through his teeth to make his smirk all the more mischievous. She drops the name all by herself, and he’s entirely happy to ignore what he figures she might mean literally with the whole demon deal.

“Bad boy suitor sounds a lot more like it, there you go” he goes on, only to give her a fake frown. “You sure you don’t want to take it? Or is this you  actually saying that hanging out with me is so much better? Because in that case, told you.” In the end, he’s just laughing and goes right ahead, giving her the boost and toss as requested. “It’s a digital SLR camera with a state of the art light meter that only cost me 5k back in the day. Not a cheap consumer ‘handicam thing’, thank you very much. You want the real deal, you get the real deal with me. Anyway, how’s it looking?”

[sinfulspencer]

One love, two mouths.

Prompt: Season 1 Spencer comforts Reader after a case and feelings come alive.

Warning: Major fluff, major smut (18+). Virgin!Spencer, heavy petting, oral sex (female/male receiving), handjob, nipple play, hair pulling, praising kink, first time, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, creampie. Read at your own risk, my friends.

Words: 15.5k

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Sometimes the silence guides our minds So move to a place so far away The goose bumps start to raise The minute that my left hand meets your waist And then I watch your face Put my finger on your tongue ‘cause you love to taste

Y/N stares at the dark ceiling of her bedroom, her mind incapable of turning off her thoughts. They’re awful, they’re bringing back the images of those scenes that appeared in front of her during that morning’s case and she hates it so much. She wishes she could unsee what her eyes witnessed. She wishes she would’ve covered her eyes but she didn’t – because she didn’t think those photos would haunt her, but they are now.

Her heart is beating ever so slowly, her body is fully relaxed and she can feel how tired she is because her eyes are extremely heavy, but her mind seems to have other plans because it’s awake. Y/N can’t fall asleep because her thoughts can’t stop running around her head, keeping her alert and awake. The case is closed, the last kidnapped woman was saved and no lives were taken that morning but Y/N can’t stop thinking about those stories, those experiences. 

She kicks the blanket off her body, stumbling in the dark of her room to look for the light switch until she finds it. Suddenly, when she turns on all the lights, she instantly covers her face. She was getting used to the dark of her room – and if only she would’ve been able to fall asleep, she’s sure she would’ve slept until noon. But Y/N didn’t fall asleep and something tells her that there’s someone else, on the same floor as her, who’s tossing and turning in his bed.

Y/N is wearing a pair of dark red fluffy shorts and a silky matching top. She should change into something less sensual, but she knows Spencer wouldn’t mind seeing her like this. Maybe she shouldn’t even go to his bedroom because she doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea even though she’s dying to be with him, but at the same time, he’s the only one who can comfort her and make her feel better.

The last time she was in his room after a case, they ended up cuddling on his bed and falling asleep together. When they woke up the morning after, Y/N didn’t want to leave the bed because she was sleeping so well with his body pressed against hers. That was a warning sign: she has never slept decently with someone by her side, not even her best friend in High School when they used to have sleepovers at each other’s house, but with Spencer, it felt right. 

Y/N thought it was cute, because she probably found someone she really felt comfortable with, but then with the time passing and her heart swelling in her chest each time Spencer gave her some attention, she realised that there was something else.

She was slowly falling more and more in love with him, which meant nothing but trouble. Y/N talked to JJ about this, opening up about her feelings growing deeper each day. She needed to vent to someone. She didn’t need advice on how to handle Spencer because apparently he’s very obedient when it comes to Y/N – which was actually interesting, because he wasn’t really that obedient towards Hotch, Gideon, Elle, or JJ. Sure, Spencer followed the rules and never crossed anybody in the team but Y/N was the only one he listened to when he was acting up. She was the only one who calmed him down when he freaked out.

That’s probably because he felt comfortable enough to let his walls down with her. Y/N loves that, because he did the same exact thing with her: even though she and Penelope are growing pretty close to each other, Y/N feels much more comfortable in Spencer’s arms with his lips pressed on her forehead and her face hidden in the crook of his neck, inhaling his delicate lavender scent.

“Y/N? Wh-what are you doing u-up?”

Y/N didn’t even realise she knocked on the door of her colleague until it was open and he was standing right in front of her, hiding behind the door with his eyes – a tired pair of eyes – wide open and a weird expression on his face.

What first captures her attention is the colour of his cheeks: they’re bright red, which means he’s blushing. And when a person blushes, it means they’re embarrassed or ashamed because they were caught doing something. So what was Spencer doing in his room late at night?

The answer is not really difficult to imagine and Y/N wants to tease him a little bit because she might have interrupted him, but she doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, especially if she needs some comfort after the case they just worked on. So, she shrugs with her eyes fixed on his face and leans against the doorstep.

'I can't fall asleep.'"

Spencer clears his throat. “Could you, uh, wait here a moment? I’m...”

Y/N nods, turning her back against the wall as she looks up at the ceiling. “If you’re busy, I can come back later.”

“No! No, I’m not b-busy. – she hears his voice cracking – I’m just... I was just... Taking a shower.”

She hums, the door closing with a light click. She wants to laugh because she really caught him doing something that he’s too embarrassed to say – even though it’s completely normal, especially for a young man like Spencer. He’s a human being, he has his needs so she doesn’t really get why he’d hide those needs. Sure, maybe getting caught in the middle of a “loving myself-session” right after a case might sound a bit weird, but there’s nothing wrong with that. He was just trying to relax, wasn’t he?

Orgasms are a great way to relax.

Y/N opens her eyes, letting out a soft sigh. She should’ve had a bit of fun in her bedroom, maybe that would’ve helped her fall asleep instead of making her roam around the hallway of the hotel at four in the morning. Now she can’t go back to her room! She interrupted Spencer. If she steps away, he’d get mad – and maybe a little upset.

“You can come inside.”

Spencer’s voice captures her attention. Y/N turns to look at him, his face now more relaxed even though his cheeks are still of a dark shade of pink, and gives him a soft smile before stepping in his room. The young doctor closes the door behind her back, running his fingers through his hair as he follows her to the window right next to his bed.

Y/N bites her bottom lip, brushing her right hand against her left arm, and lets out a sigh. Spencer stays silent, waiting for her to say something about the reason why she can’t sleep, and simply stays behind her with his eyes on her face. The moonlight filtering from the window is caressing her skin as Spencer admires the gentle features of her face.

She looks so beautiful.

But what she’s wearing right now is making Spencer have difficulties breathing.

It’s not the first time she sneaks into his room late at night, but it’s definitely the first time she’s wearing something so short and revealing. Not that he minds, of course. Y/N has a wonderful body and if he could, he would worship it in every single way that he can.

Y/N breaks the silence, turning around to look at her colleague. “Blushing is not just an emotional response, it’s also an emotional display and a way people can communicate their emotional state to others.”

He tilts his head, chuckling at her words. That’s exactly what he said to her the first time they met, almost two years before. She was making her way up the stairs of the FBI, stumbling on the BAU floor with her cheeks bright red and a huge smile on her face before she came across Doctor Reid. He remembers seeing her and thinking: “Wow, she looks gorgeous”. And immediately after, she ran up to him, held out her hand, and exclaimed “Hi! I’m SSA Lamberti, I’m looking for Aaron Hotchner”. Spencer pointed to the office right on top of the floor and he looked at her hand, not shaking it before telling her that he had a problem with germs. Y/N blushed because she was embarrassed and he chuckled, telling her those same words. Their first meeting was a bit awkward, indeed.

“What were you doing before I knocked on your door?”

Spencer sits on the edge of his king-sized bed. “Nothing you need to know about.”

Y/N raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms to her chest. “Okay, I totally get it. I hope you finished, at least; I know how frustrating it might be to be just on the edge and having to stop.”

He wants to widen his eyes and laugh nervously because of the kind of conversation they’re having – at the end of the day, it’s four in the morning and he’s actually still quite in the mood – but he manages to stay quiet, keeping a straight expression on his face and not letting certain thoughts linger in his mind. It’s difficult, though, because he has the woman of his dreams literally standing in his room in a very fluffy pair of shorts, a top he would love to take off and without makeup.

It feels like a dream coming true.

“I, uhm, I have finished. Th-thank you for your concern. – mutters Spencer, his voice cracking and betraying him – Why can’t you fall asleep? What’s on your mind?”

Y/N shrugs, letting her arms fall to her sides. “I don’t know. I keep thinking about the case we closed today and I just... The pictures you showed me this morning are haunting me, I don’t know why.”

The young doctor remains on the bed, watching her as she sits beside him. “Did they scare you? I’m sorry, I didn’t want...”

She shakes her head, biting her bottom lip. “It’s not your fault. I think my mind is just imagining weird scenarios... Those women he killed had a similar body type to mine, they had the same eye colour as me, the same style. I was the unsub’s type. I guess this is why I can’t really sleep tonight.”

Spencer sits with his legs crossed on the bed, his body turned to hers. “We caught him. He’s not going to hurt you, you know that?”

“Yes, I do. It’s stupid, I know. – says Y/N, lowering her eyes on Spencer’s hands for a moment – I wish I could turn my mind off for a few hours, just so I can sleep and feel better in the morning.”

Expressing her fear out loud has already helped her a lot, as if she just lifted a heavy weight off her chest. Maybe she’s already ready to go back to her room and sleep in her own bed, but she doesn’t really want to leave Spencer’s room. Seeing him in his little pyjamas, his messy hair on his forehead and his pretty face makes her not want to move at all.

“Do you want to take a walk on the beach?” says Spencer, pointing to the window of his room

Y/N turns around, staring at the view of the beach right in front of her. The idea of walking on the cold sand with the light sound of the waves crashing against the shore wasn’t so bad, especially if Spencer was going to join her and walk beside her. But does she need to get changed to do so? Does she need to grab her phone? No, Spencer is not going to get lost on the beach. But it’s four in the morning. What if they end up in a place with no lights, no sounds, and no way to go back?

“Yes, I’d like that. – says Y/N, her voice nothing but a whisper – Do I need to bring a towel with us?”

Spencer shrugs, biting his bottom lip. “I don’t know, do you want to stop? We could, uh, watch the sunrise. The beach is not that far, we just need to walk down the road and it’s right there.”

Her whole face lights up at the thought. “Yes, please! I’m going to grab my phone. Do you think I should change into something more comfortable? I don’t want to ruin this pyjama, it’s one of my favourites.”

Before Spencer could actually process his thoughts, words slip out of his mouth. “Put your swimsuit on.”

What the fuck is wrong with you? – a voice in his mind asks, shocked by the fact that he literally imposed Y/N to grab her swimsuit. The thought of seeing her like that, being able to be completely alone with her, and maybe jumping in the cold waters of the Ocean with her, is making him go crazy. Why would he suggest something like that, knowing that his body was going to react to the sight?

It wouldn't be the first time he gets really excited to see Y/N under certain conditions and he knows he’s going to make a fool out of himself if he sees her in a swimsuit and maybe have her hug him. But now he can’t back away from his words or she’ll know there’s something wrong with him, with his thoughts.

Y/N opens her mouth, surprised but amused by his idea. “Do you want to swim in the Ocean?”

“Why not? Even if the water is really cold, we can simply walk with our feet in the water and then sit on the beach to watch the sunrise. – asks the young doctor, biting his bottom lip – You’ve brought a swimsuit, haven’t you? I heard you and JJ were talking about spending a few days here after the case, and...”

Y/N starts to walk to the door of his room. “Yes! I have a swimsuit. And yes, we’re going to dive in the Ocean at five in the morning. I’m so happy I could kiss you!”

Well.

The young agent runs out of her colleague’s bedroom to put on her swimsuit. She’s so excited now, the idea of slipping into Spencer’s room to sleep beside him on his bed completely disappeared from her mind. Now all she wants is to walk on the beach barefoot with Spencer, admiring the beautiful Shaw’s Cove sunrise and hearing the young doctor telling her everything he knows about civil, astronomical, and nautical twilight. She wants to take off her clothes, leave them beside Spencer’s and dip into the cold water of the Atlantic Ocean, maybe holding Spencer’s hand.

Once they’re outside the Hotel they were staying in during the case, Y/N and Spencer make their way towards the beach not too far away from where they are. The air of the night is fresh but not too cold or too hot. The sky is painted with dark blue and grey stripes. There are a few clouds covering everything but Spencer said it’s a good sign. Does this mean they’re going to witness a colourful sunrise? Y/N hopes so.

Even though she didn’t come here to go to the beach but to work on a horrible case, she wants to have at least a good memory of this “trip”. Spending time with Spencer is always a good sign, the beginning of a nice memory she always holds on to when she’s having a rough day or rough time after a case. Being with him is so easy, so natural.

“What time is it?” asks Y/N.

Spencer glances at his watch. “4:30 in the morning. We might get lucky even though there’s this blanket of clouds over us.”

She looks up at the sky, biting her bottom lip once she finally puts her feet on the cold sand of the beach of Shaw’s Cove. She had never been there before in her life, but when she and Elle were driving back to the Hotel, her colleague showed her a bunch of pictures of Shaw’s Cove’s sunrise. And ever since, Y/N has kept thinking about how much she’d love to witness the sunrise on that same beach she’s now with Spencer.

Is Elle going to get mad at her because they didn’t go together? Y/N hopes not. Well, she might also not tell Elle anything about what’s happening because this little walk, this little meeting she’s having with Spencer feels so private. Something that needs to be kept between them.

“There’s no one here, it’s almost creepy. – says Y/N, following Spencer to the shore – But wow, it already looks breathtaking. Do you think I can find a house and rent it for the summer?”

The young doctor turns around to look at her, smiling. “That would be a great idea. You'd have an amazing view every single day of the beach and the ocean."

She gives him a little smile, looking around before biting her bottom lip. There’s a bit of light mist all over the surface of the water but Spencer doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, even though the sun hasn’t risen yet. Everything looks so quiet and calm.

There’s not a single sound different from the melody produced by the waves crashing against the shore. Spencer is staring at the water hitting his feet as he holds his slippers with a little smile on his face.

He looks like a child with a new toy. He seems so happy to be there and Y/N is even happier that she’s witnessing this beautiful beginning of a morning with him. She never thought she’d end up with Spencer on the beach in southern California after solving a case, but apparently, life has other plans for her.

Not that she minds, of course.

Now she’s really happy that she bothered Spencer in the middle of the night. If she hadn’t done it, she would have still been in her room, tossing and turning under the blanket of her bed.

“Look!”

Y/N’s head snaps in the direction Spencer is pointing to.

A tiny bit of pink in one corner of the sky. Y/N’s smile spread on her lips because this means that the first light of the morning is slowly breaking through the night lights. Spencer walks beside her, his hand immediately flying on her waist without hesitation.

Y/N doesn’t move because she doesn’t want to break this contact. She really likes having Spencer’s hand on her body, and the goose bumps rising all over her arms are a sign of that. She wants to turn around, grab him by the face and kiss him with the sunrise finally lightening up in the background but she doesn’t have a real reason to do so. They’re just colleagues walking on the beach, nothing else.

“Do you know why winter sunrises and sunsets are more beautiful?”

Y/N shakes her head, looking at him for a split second. “No, not really. Why?”

Spencer keeps his hand over her waist, putting the other one on the other side of her hip. “Sunsets become more vivid because of low humidity and cleaner air, especially after it rains. That means there are fewer particulates to wash out colours and create foggy sunsets, which are more typical in summer. Different colours are caused by different types of scattering, reflection, and refraction of light.”

She listens to his soothing voice, admiring the beautiful pink sky lit up over their heads and in front of their eyes as the fresh air of the morning hits them.

“Light is made up of different colours, each with its own range of wavelengths. The final ingredient of a beautiful sunset or sunrise is clouds, because they reflect the stunning hues back to us. They make the sunset or sunrise much more brilliant. – says Spencer, his arms now wrapped around her body to keep her closer to him – Now we’re witnessing the civil twilight. It occurs when the Sun is less than 6 degrees below the horizon and it ends with the sun actually rising in the sky.”

Y/N leans her head back on his shoulder, putting her hands over his arms. She really likes having him pressed that way to her body: the contrast between the warmth of his skin and the fresh air of a winter morning in southern California is extremely delicious. 

She doesn’t want to ruin the moment because she’s kind of overwhelmed by everything. She has always been a morning person, which leads to her usually waking up very early in the morning and sitting outside her apartment to admire the sun rising before she had to work. And the fact that she’s standing on the beach, completely empty beside Spencer tightly pressed to her body, is enough for her to feel like she’s on cloud nine.

“This is so romantic,” whispers Y/N.

Spencer doesn’t pull away from her after her words. “Why?”

She shrugs, biting her bottom lip. “A lot of people say sunsets are more romantic than sunrises, but I think it’s only because witnessing a sunrise means you’re awake at a very early hour. And not everyone is a morning person like me and you. I’ve always found sunrises much more romantic than sunsets. Watching the sunset with someone means we’re out on a date, means I’ve stressed out about getting ready to go out and all of that but... this is completely different.”

Spencer remains silent, stepping away from her but keeping his hand on her waist. He doesn’t want to be far from her, he needs to keep her close because not only she’s warm and keeping him warm, but she’s also so fucking beautiful. And his heart can’t take being away from her.

“We didn’t plan to witness the sunrise last night, we just... went out and came here. – says Y/N, her voice now low as she admires the pink sky up – It’s so calm, relaxing, quiet. And being here with you is exactly what I needed to feel better.”

He blinks, watching the young woman as she finally turns around to look at him. Spencer is not sure what to say or what to do, but he felt exactly the same. Being with Y/N is so easy, it feels so natural and normal, as if they’re meant to be together. She doesn’t make him nervous – well, she does, especially when she looks at him with her gorgeous and bright smile, those lovely eyes, and her angelic face. 

Okay, yes, she makes him very nervous but it’s only because she’s the first woman to show him a particular interest in – she doesn’t make fun of him, she allows him to rant about anything, she holds his hand when he’s nervous and no one is looking, she leans her head on his shoulder when they’re on the jet, she plays with his hair when they’re listening to some music on the way home on the jet, she buys him books when he’s upset or when she sees a nice poem.

She’s just perfect. A delight to be around.

“It’s the first time I go to the beach and watch the sun rise with a man that I like.”

Spencer seems now nervous, trembling right in front of her. What did she just say to him?

Y/N grabs his hands, mentally patting herself on the back for wearing a sweater on top of her shorts, and puts them in the pockets of her sweater so that he can warm up a little bit better. Spencer is still staring at her, probably to process what just came out of her mouth, but Y/N is not going to take it back. 

She said those words and she doesn’t regret them because they’re the pure truth. They’ve been hidden for far too long in her mind and now seemed like the perfect time to spit them out, because they’re completely alone on the beach with the pink sky in the background and the faint sound of the waves crashing against the sand and their feet.

“I...”

He falls silent, probably because he wasn’t expecting her to say that. Does she really like him?

Spencer has his hands in the holes of her sweater. Their lips are just a few millimetres near and all he wants to do is lean in and kiss her. It feels like the perfect time to do it, the perfect place to have his first kiss in and he really wants to do it but he can’t bring himself to actually do it. He feels like a coward because she’s right there, she’s probably waiting on him to make the first move but he just can’t.

Y/N pulls out her hands from her sweater and puts them on Spencer’s face, her thumbs brushing over his perfect cheekbones as her eyes still linger on his. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t open his mouth because he doesn’t want to ruin the moment but he really wants this to happen. He wants her to be his first kiss.

But how is it possible that now they’re on the verge of kissing, when he was so terrified to even touch her on the elbow? Y/N came to his bedroom because she couldn’t sleep, and now they’re on the beach at five in the morning, about to kiss. How did this happen? And why does it feel so good?

“Y/N, I...”

She looks up at him, her eyes bright and shining. “Yes?”

“You make me want to kiss you. – he manages to spit out, his heart swelling when a smile appears on her lips – B-but I guess it’s what you want, isn’t i-it?”

Y/N can see how nervous he is and she finds it extremely sweet. Is he nervous because he wants to kiss her and he doesn’t know why? Or is he nervous because he wants her as much as she wants him right now? Either way, they’re going to kiss and she actually can’t wait for that. She doesn’t care if he’s inexperienced, she doesn’t care if she’s his first kiss and it’ll be maybe messy. She just wants to taste his lips, to feel the desire running through his body and melting with hers, to move her lips to his rhythm and see him losing himself in the moment.

“Yes, I want you to kiss me. But if you’re not ready, we don’t have to do it. – whispers Y/N, her fingers now caressing the back of his neck – I’m serious, Spencer. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

He quickly shakes his head, biting his bottom lip. Y/N could pass out in that exact moment, he looks so innocent and it’s making her feel things she shouldn’t. She doesn’t know if she has an innocent kink, but she definitely has a kink for innocent Spencer –but she really wants him. She desperately wants to be with him because she loves him so much and she needs to show him that he deserves all the love in the world, in every way she can.

“I do, I want to kiss you so bad. – says Spencer, his voice coming out stronger and more confident – It’s just... You’re my first kiss and I don’t know where to begin.”

Her stomach flutters. The moment is just so sweet. She never thought she’d kiss Spencer on the beach right after watching the sun rise but hey, she doesn’t mind. At all.

Y/N runs her fingers through his hair, gently pushing a strand of hair off his forehead. “Do what you feel more comfortable doing. Just make sure you kiss my lips, you know. I’m sure you’ll do great, Spencie.”

He nervously chuckles, pulling out his hands from her sweater before placing them on her face. He wants to touch every inch of her body but he can’t, not right now at least. Y/N smiles softly at the touch, his thumb caressing her bottom lip as she leaves a kiss on the tip of his fingers before looking up at him again.

Spencer studies her eyes as if he’s waiting for the right moment to press his lips on hers. Y/N does the same, admiring the way his eyebrows are slightly furrowed and his lips slightly pursed. He looks like a cute kitten. She just wants to smooch him so badly and cuddle with him on the beach. He’s just so fucking perfect, Y/N is stunned by the fact that he wants her to be his first kiss. Does this mean he likes her? Is the feeling mutual? If it is, Y/N is going to metaphorically cry.

Y/N drops her hands on his shoulder, grasping the collar of his shirt. She doesn’t want to push him because he deserves to take all the time that he needs, but she’s growing impatient. Maybe he needs a little push, another reason to kiss her. So, Y/N leans in and bites her bottom lip while looking at his mouth. And when she does that, Spencer’s mouth covers hers.

The water hits their feet but they both don’t care because they’re finally kissing.

And even though it’s just a little peck on the lips, Y/N could do it forever. The feeling of his soft mouth pressed on hers, his hands now pulling her cheeks so that she can’t back away from his kiss, and her heart doing jumping jacks in her chest is making her dizzy. If she thought kissing him would ease the intense connection she feels with him, she was wrong.

Oh, so, so wrong.

Y/N quickly puts her hand behind his neck, her lips moving against his in a slow rhythm as her tongue grazes over his bottom lip before slipping into his mouth to meet his. Their kiss is turning messy, filled with the desire that has burned in both of them and that can finally explode. Y/N doesn’t want to pull away, she needs this kiss more than ever or she’ll go crazy.

But how is she going to move on after this? How is she going to spend her days without thinking about the way Spencer is kissing and holding her? This whole situation is making her feel like she’s on top of the world, as if she’s destined to be in his arms with his mouth on hers. It’s just perfect.

“I’m so glad we didn’t kiss yesterday or during the case. – whispers Spencer, his lips detaching from hers – Because I don’t think I’ll be able to focus on anything else than you for the next, uh, life.”

Y/N chuckles at his words, her fingers playing with his hair. “I can say the same about you, Doctor Reid.”

He shakes his head, pressing another kiss on her mouth. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? – asks her, furrowing her eyebrows but allowing him to keep kissing her – Isn’t that what you are, though?”

Spencer hums, his hands travelling down her neck. “Yes but if you call me like that, your voice is.. I’m...”

She widens her eyes, her cheeks getting red. He doesn’t need to say anything else because she understands.

Note to self: don’t call Spencer “Doctor Reid” in public or in front of the rest of the team because he might get hard. – thinks Y/N, biting her bottom lip as she puts a hand over his chest to gently pull away from him, keeps her eyes on his face and blushes even harder when he stares back at her with his usual sweet smile and his dimples appearing on his cheeks. He looks so pretty, so calm and so relaxed now. Even though he basically confessed to her that he likes to be called “Doctor Reid” more than he should, he doesn’t feel embarrassed – which is a positive thing. It means he’s comfortable enough to tell Y/N a few things about his kinks – she can’t wait to find out all of them, if she has to be honest.

“Are you happy?” asks her, biting her bottom lip.

He nods, his cheek a shade of dark pink. “I’d be happier if you’d kiss me again.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Y/N slips her hands behind his neck, gently pushing his face closer to hers so she can kiss his lips again. And when she does, a low moan escapes his mouth – and if Spencer hopes Y/N didn’t notice, well... She did and it lit a fire between her legs that it’s not going to be distinguished soon, unless she does something. Kissing is always nice, especially if you’re kissing someone who wants you as much as you want them, but sometimes it’s not really enough. 

Y/N is hungry for Spencer – and it’s a hunger that is much more deep, more carnal, a hunger that is burning her with desire. And it’s so wrong to feel like this when she has a man like him between her hands, literally. She doesn’t want to scare him off, but at the same time, she needs him.

It’s such a contrasting feeling, she doesn’t know what to do.

Y/N tries to focus on the kiss, opening her eyes to sneak a peek at him before closing them again. Spencer seems so lost in this kiss, welcoming the tip of her tongue between his lips to meet his; she doesn’t want to stop the kiss just because she’s getting more worked up, but she needs to do something else. She has to distract herself from taking more.

Spencer pulls away from her mouth, instantly moaning when Y/N travels down his neck with her lips. She brushes them over his sensitive skin, taking a few steps away from the shore as the water keeps hitting their feet.

“You’re going to k-kill me. – whispers Spencer, closing his eyes – Fuck.”

She has never heard him curse but she has to admit it, it’s kind of hot. Especially because she’s the reason why he cursed, in his hot low voice, while kissing down the tender skin of his throat. Maybe she found his favourite spot; she’s definitely going to use it to her advantage. If Spencer is going to act like this each time she kisses his neck, she’s going to do it more often.

“Can we walk? My feet are pretty cold. – says Y/N, taking a few steps away from him to warm up – Maybe taking our slippers off wasn’t a bad idea, the water is literally ice cold.”

Spencer chuckles, his right arm now wrapping around her waist as they start to walk together on the beach. Y/N doesn’t know for how long they kissed, she doesn’t care; as long as she’s spending time with him, she’s okay. She knows they’ll have to go back at a certain point, but for now they’re going to enjoy the first lights of the day and maybe kiss some more.

Y/N puts her arm around his waist, walking beside him. The sky is now painted in a very light blue, the pink slowly fading away to let the other colour take control. It’s still so beautiful and she can’t stop smiling. She knows it’s not only the sunrise causing her to feel so lightheaded. It’s Spencer’s fault, too.

“Wait! We forgot our shoes there!”

Y/N yells when Spencer lets go, running towards the point where they stayed for a long time. She didn’t even notice she dropped her slippers, probably too busy kissing him and feeling his hands roam around her body to care. 

But when he runs back to her, hair flowing in the wind and his little smile slowly creeping on his lips, she can’t help but chuckle and open her arms. He takes that sign as a silent “come here” from her, so he runs between her arms and gently lifts her from the beach as he spins her around. Y/N laughs loudly, her hands sliding behind his neck as she dips her head down and kisses his lips.

For a man that doesn’t really work out, he certainly can lift her. It’s kind of hot.

“Spencie! Put me down, I’m too heavy!”

He shakes his head, raising it before realising her boobs are literally in front of him. That sight almost made him fall on his knees because it happened so quickly and so swiftly, he thought he was kissing her – but no, his face was just between her breasts. 

As he’s slowly putting the young woman down on the ground, he backs away and puts his slippers back on. Y/N, on the other hand, starts to laugh because the whole situation was so funny. He ran up to her, kissed her and then ended up with his face between her breasts when she looked up at the sky while he was lifting her.

He wasn’t expecting her to not kiss him again!

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I swear, I’m not a creep. I was...”

Once Y/N has put on her slippers, she grabs Spencer’s hand and lets their fingers intertwine. “Stop apologising, you didn’t do anything bad. Sure, maybe next time you want to touch my boobs, ask for it.”

Spencer blushes hard, shaking his head as she chuckles. “I’m making this weird, I’m sorry.”

“Hey! No, that’s not true. You’re not making this weird. – says Y/N, tugging his hand – It’s normal to be nervous and it’s normal to be a bit embarrassed, but these things happen. I don’t mind having your face between my boobs, but next time you want to do it, make sure we’re completely alone.”

She points to a man, dressed in all white, sitting on a wooden bench not too far from the pier. Spencer bites his bottom lip, keeping his arm around her waist as he hopes the man hasn’t seen what has just happened. Even though he feels so incredibly embarrassed – he kissed her, everything was going to smoothly perfect and then he hit her boobs with his face – he knows Y/N is not, she’s completely calm and collected. And it’s hot.

They walk beside each other in complete silence, enjoying the touch of their hands and the strong scent of the ocean. Unspoken words are silently being exchanged between them, stolen glances from both parts and cute smiles hidden at each turn of the head are making them feel lightheaded. 

Is this how love feels? Is this how feeling comfortable with each other feels? Is this how they’re going to feel from now on? They love everything that’s happening.

But... Time is ticking.

The sky is now painted with a light blue shade, the clouds have disappeared and the sun is finally up, bright and yellow. They have spent at least two hours on that beach but it felt like two minutes, and it’s all because they were so excited to be together, so eager to kiss and having fun that they didn’t bother looking at the clock. 

Y/N didn’t think she’d end up on the beach with Spencer, she just wanted to sleep with him on his bed but she doesn’t mind at all what has happened here. In fact, she’s even more awake and more energetic than all the days before that.

Maybe it’s because she’s so excited about the kiss and the desire hasn’t left her body yet.

“We should go back to the Hotel, though. – says Spencer, looking at her for a split second – I’m getting hungry and we didn’t bring any money, so we can’t even stop at a coffee shop.”

Y/N hums, wrinkling her nose. “Yeah, we should go back. I need to take a shower before we have breakfast, though.”

Before Spencer could actually stop himself, he talks. “My bathroom has a bathtub.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“Are you going to join me, then?”

Another moment of silence.

“If you want to, yes.”

Y/N hides her smile, following up back up to their Hotel in silence. There are so many things she wants to say but she keeps quiet, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. At the end of the day, having sex with him is all she wants right now, but she doesn’t want him to do it just because they kissed. 

She thought Spencer would want to wait for this step, especially if it’s his first time – but does he really want to do it the same day he had his first kiss? Not that she minds, of course, but. What if he feels compelled to do so just because he had his first kiss? What if he’s so overwhelmed because of that? Y/N doesn’t want to take advantage of him, she would never do that but he seems so eager.

Spencer leads her in the hallway of their Hotel, pressing the button for the elevator. She can feel his nerves creeping up on his neck, but she’s nervous too because she doesn’t know what to expect. Are they really going to take a bath together? Or was he just teasing her and asking her to see her reaction? Was he trying to test her somehow?

Even though she’s a bit more experienced than him, she’s not much as experienced as he thinks she is. Does it make sense? She has had a boyfriend before, yes. She has had sex before, yes. But she has never been so nervous to be with a guy before. She has never taken a bath with her ex, she wasn’t even that interested in him at all – but she’s definitely interested in Spencer. 

Y/N wants him probably more than she should’ve and a part of her thinks he knows that, that’s why he not-so-subtly told her that he has a tub in his bathroom.

Y/N leans her head on his shoulder, biting her bottom lip as she watches their reflection in the metal doors in front of them. Is she really going to take a bath in his room because he asked her? Why did she say yes? And why did she ask him if he was going to join her? Is she dumb?

“I’m nervous.” he blurts out.

Y/N looks at him, stepping outside the elevator. “Nervous? About what?”

Spencer shrugs, walking back to his room. “I don’t know, I’m... I want to ask you something. But inside, not here.”

She doesn’t waste any time, following him down the hallway before closing the door behind her back. Y/N takes off her sweater, leaving it on the chair next to the main entrance, and follows him to the window. Spencer is lifting his shirt off his chest, his skin glistening under the lights of the morning.

“I want you to be my first time.”

Y/N was right, he is a virgin. He never said it out loud until right now. And he wants her to change his status.

“Today?”

Spencer shrugs, now feeling more self-conscious about his bare chest. Y/N hasn’t looked at it yet but she quickly stops his hands when he tries to grab his shirt to cover up. His hands are shaking and his eyes are darting between her and the mirror behind them, where their reflection is being captured.

“Spencie, look at me. – says Y/N, snapping her fingers in front of his face – Look at me, okay? Focus on my face.”

He takes a deep breath, managing to calm himself down as his eyes finally meet hers. Y/N gives him an encouraging smile, using her hand to caress his cheek before leaning in and gently pressing a kiss over his mouth. If he’s this nervous, maybe they shouldn’t do it. But when his hands find her cheeks, forcing her mouth to stay connected to his, he feels the desire burning deep inside of him, lighting a fire inside of her as well.

He wants her. More than he can describe.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

Spencer shakes his head again, kissing her lips again. “I want to do it. I want my first time to be with you. I don’t care if I had my first kiss today, too. I know I want you and I trust you.”

Y/N feels her eyes watering at his words because she can feel the tension in his voice, but also the lust and the desire behind it. She wants to have sex with him. She has dreamed of doing it for a long time but now that she’s about to do it, she feels like she doesn’t even know where to start or put her hands.

“You have to calm down though, love. – whispers Y/N, moaning softly on his lips when his hands push her hip against his – If we’re both nervous, it’s not going to end well and I want you to enjoy everything.”

Spencer nods, realising that he’s not really nervous. He knows what to do. He has read so many books and medical journals about women’s bodies and the whole psychology of sex before actually thinking about taking the matter into his own hands. 

No, Spencer is just very excited because not only he’s going to try the magical world of sex, but also because he’s going to lose his virginity with the woman he likes and wants, a woman he trusts with his own life and knows would never hurt him.

“Do you want to take a bath before we do it?” asks Y/N.

Her voice is low, sweet, filled with love and affection. Spencer could melt into it if he could.

“No, I want you. Now.”

She hums, her hands caressing his chest. “Alright, Lover Boy. Tell me... Do you know what to do?”

Spencer doesn’t want to nod but nods anyway. “I may have read a few articles about first times and sexual intercourse.”

“Explain to me what you read.”

He clears his throat, moaning softly when Y/N’s lips travel down his mouth to his chin, then his neck. Spencer tries his best to be focused, to keep control of his mouth and tongue so that he can actually say something but the feeling of her warm tongue sliding on his skin before her teeth gently bite it, it’s overwhelming.

His neck is one of his sweet spots – but he doesn’t want Y/N to stop, this is just perfect.

“There are five phases, kind of. Foreplay, arousal, optional, penetration, aftercare. – utters Spencer, his right hand gently caressing her hair as she kisses his chest – Foreplay is basically kissing, touching, feeling... Fuck, Y/N.”

She giggles, licking the soft skin beside his navel before biting on it and bringing her mouth back up to his neck. Her right hand settles behind his neck as her left hand gently scratches his chest, the goose bumps on his skin rising quickly. She loves the effect she’s having on him, it makes her feel powerful – she has never felt this way before.

“The “Optional” stage doesn’t make any sense. I found that article pretty dumb if I have to be honest so I’m going to just focus on what I want to do, what I like to do and... Please, stop me if I’m wrong or if I’m hurting you. – explains Spencer, his voice sounding a bit higher than normal because of her tongue caressing the skin underneath his earlobe – I want you to enjoy this as much as I am enjoying it right now.”

Y/N pulls away from him, sliding her top up her arms before throwing it on the floor. Spencer almost chokes on his own saliva at the sight of her breasts, now completely bare right in front of him. 

She tilts her head, grabbing his hands and gently placing them on her boobs before biting her bottom lip and looking back at him. The young doctor is blushing hard, her nipples brushing against the palm of his hands and his pupils are dilating quickly.

Y/N chuckles, pushing her hair back. “You’re right. Tell me what you want to do and what you want me to do to you. I have a few things in mind, though, but I’ll tell them later.”

Spencer closes his hands around her breasts, feeling the tenderness of her skin and her hard nipples against his palms. He has never held a pair of boobs before in his life – he has never seen one in real life before too so he’s trying his best not to freak out and not to come in his own pants already.

“Sex is all about pleasure, Spencer. There’s nothing wrong that you can do because you’re learning, you’re trying everything you’ve always wanted to do and see what fits you and what doesn’t. – says Y/N, her voice low and sensual – Foreplay is all about touching and kissing, as you said. It’s about getting your partner in the mood, arousing them with your fingers or your mouth, see how they react to your touch.”

Spencer keeps his eyes on her chest, twisting her nipples between his index and his thumb as a loud moan escapes her lips. He found something that she liked and it wasn’t as hard as he thought, so he keeps doing that. When he watched a porn video for the first time, he saw the guy getting his head down to the woman’s breasts and sucking and nibbling at her nipples so Spencer wants to do it too, see if Y/N likes it.

“Can I...”

Y/N nods, running her fingers through his hair. “You can do whatever you want, Spencie. I’m all yours.”

He looks at her for a moment, her eyes shining and burning with desire. He grabs her right hand and gently lays her down on the bed, admiring the way she instantly spreads her legs for him even though he didn’t ask her to. Y/N puts her head on his pillow so she can see whatever he is doing to her.

“You look so beautiful right now, Spencie. – whispers Y/N, her hands massaging her boobs – But you’d look even better with that pretty mouth of yours on my nipples, you know?”

Spencer blushes hard at her words, her praise and her dirty words turning him on so much. Even though his fingers are shaking and he can’t really focus on what’s happening because of his nerves, he’s ready to do whatever she asks him to. 

He doesn’t want to disappoint her – and he doesn’t want to miss the chance to put his lips on that soft skin either – so he bows his head and wraps his lips around her right nipple, wetting it with kitten licks. 

Y/N moans again, her back arching from her bed as she grabs a fistful of his hair but doesn’t tug on it. 

Spencer needs a bit of guidance but he’s doing amazing as if he’s made for it. She bites her bottom lip, a tingling sensation diffusing in her body and bringing heat to her cheeks.

“That’s perfect, you’re doing amazing. – says Y/N, her voice breaking when Spencer sucks on her nipple just right before slowly biting it – Fuck, just like that. Are you sure you’ve never done this?”

The young doctor shakes his head, his tongue flattening under her nipple before he jumps on the other one. He has never done this before to anyone, but he may have had a few dreams about sucking and licking her nipples a few days ago – he has always loved boobs, especially hers. He doesn’t like to say out loud that he may have stared at her cleavage a few times every single day, but he has. 

It’s difficult to keep all of those thoughts in his mind, terrified that they might disgust her – so Spencer decides to gather some courage and, after licking and wetting her left nipple, he pulls away to look at her beautiful face.

“I’ve thought about you like this for so long, Y/N. – says Spencer, his hand gently caressing her cheek – And I want to touch every inch of your skin, worship your body like it deserves to and make sweet love to you until you’re crying out my name and forgetting yours. But I don’t want to rush anything.”

She puts her hands behind his neck, bringing his face down on hers. He’s always so sweet and respectful even when he attempts to dirty talk to her – she’s already turned on but the way he’s looking at her, watching the goose bumps rise on her arms with those hungry dark eyes, is making her dizzy.

“You deserve a handjob because of what you just said.”

He blushes hard, his cock pressing against her inner thigh. Why is he so turned on by the fact that she said he deserves his dick touched for his words? Why is he so turned on in general, even though she has just kissed him on the lips and all over his chest? He just can’t stop thinking about how he’s going to finally be inside of her after waiting for so long. His dreams are coming true and even though he might not last for long – unfortunately he’s too nervous and excited at the same time to actually make this as long as he can, and he hates himself for that – he wants Y/N to enjoy everything he can give her before he loses himself inside of her.

“Then, give me one.”

Y/N doesn’t need to be told twice, a smirk slowly forming on her lips. She knows she has to take the reins for the moment because Spencer is nervous and he doesn’t know where to start touching her – well, he’s going to learn everything. 

The young woman rolls over his body, straddling him before unbuttoning his trousers while leaving soft kisses all over his chest, his collarbones, his throat. And those kisses steal little moans out of his mouth, as he throws his head back to expose more of his neck that, of course, Y/N marks with a little bit under his Adam’s apple and his chin.

Spencer tries his best not to come at the sensation, her skilled fingers pushing down his briefs. He’s naked for the first time in front of a woman who actually likes him and wants him as much as he wants her. 

This is really happening, this is not a joke. 

When Y/N frees his cock from his briefs, she grinds down against it for a second. Her wetness coating it as it slides between her folds, Spencer almost ready to pass out at the feeling. If this is how it feels to be close to her, Spencer knows he’s never going to last long for her.

When he looks back at her, his eyes quickly slip on her breasts as she settles between his legs. Spencer holds out a hand and plays with her nipple again, his eyes almost asking her if this is okay – and when she answers him with a moan, he smiles in triumph because at least he’s doing something good. 

When his erection springs free, Y/N’s mouth waters at the sight because it’s perfectly thick and long. Dicks are not exactly attractive in her eyes, but he has the prettiest cock she has ever seen in her life before – she wants to tell him, too, but she doesn’t want him to think she’s weird. 

Y/N knew he was packing, he’s the classic tall skinny guy with Heaven between his legs and she can’t wait to be blessed by it. She’s dying to feel it deep inside of her, touching every sweet spot inside of her and sending her straight to Heaven.

“Spencie, baby, don’t hold back. – says Y/N, pressing a little kiss at the base of his shaft – I want to hear your voice, I need to know how you like to be touched.”

He quickly nods, letting out a strangled moan when her tongue slowly wet the tip of his cock. She doesn’t break the eye contact, her fingers wrapping around his length tight enough for him to tremble under her touch. Spencer’s body is on fire. The deep burning desire spreading in his lower abdomen is bringing heat back up to his cheeks. Is she really going to do this? Is she really going to put his mouth between his legs? Is he dead and already in Heaven?

“Can I p-pull your hair?” asks Spencer shyly.

Y/N nods, licking and swirling her tongue on the head of his cock. She has to lube it up before actually using her hands on him but now that she’s settling between his legs, she thinks a handjob might be overrated. At the end of the day, she wants him to feel as much pleasure as he can and a blowjob right now sounds better than a handjob.

“You can do whatever you want, baby.”

Even though she hasn’t given many blowjobs in her life – her sexual experiences weren’t as much as she thought they would have back in High School – she knows she has some skills. And she wants to show them all to Spencer, allowing him to actually feel pleasure and have fun.

Spencer lays his hand on her head, running his fingers through his hair. “You l-look very pretty.”

Y/N looks up at him, smiling softly but not moving from the place she’s in. He looks so flustered, she’s never going to forgive this image. It’ll be stuck in her head forever – and it might become helpful in the future, if she’s in the mood and needs something to push her over the edge.

She focuses on the head for a few seconds, sliding her tongue over it and sucking it gently. Her spit is wetting his length, making it easier to touch him. 

She wants this experience to be unforgettable for him and it seems to be exactly like that because that gesture sent Spencer into overdrive. His fingers are pulling on her hair, his chest rising quickly up and down as a litany of little moans leave his lips, begging her to do more.

“Could you, uh... – Spencer grabs her right hand, placing it on his balls – Please?”

Y/N swirls her tongue up and down his shaft, her fingers now pressing gently on his balls while she uses her right hand to massage his shaft that is not inside of her mouth. Allowing him to decide what to do, hearing his sweet voice echoing in her room filled with desire and need, is certainly something she’ll never be able to forget. 

She can see how he’s trying to hold back until her mouth ends up on his balls, licking them and sucking gently on them. Spencer gasps, his fingers tugging harder on her hair; he’s overwhelmed by the feeling of being inside of her warm mouth, her tongue caressing him just where he needs to and he knows he’s already close.

“Y/N, I-I’m... Close, very c-close.”

She doesn’t want to pull away from him because it would be extremely hot to have him coming down her throat, but what is going to happen next will be even more interesting and hot. So, after giving one last lick to his shaft, Y/N gently pulls him out of her mouth and makes her way up to his chest until she reaches his face again.

“You were g-good, very good. – says Spencer, his cheeks flushed and his pupils blown out – I’m not going to last long and I’m...”

Y/N shuts him up with a kiss, straddling him again. “Don’t worry about that, baby. It’s your first time, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it has to be special.” 

He stares at her, trying to catch his breath. “It’s already special because it’s with you.”

Her heart skips a bit, her mouth turning into a soft smile. She leans down, her knees on the sides of his hip. Her breasts are not pressed against Spencer’s flat chest, her nipples brushing against his soft sweaty skin. His hands quickly rest on her hip, feeling her wetness slowly grinding up and down on his cock – and he feels like he’s going to die.

He’s never going to make her come because he’ll be too far gone.

Y/N doesn’t seem to care as she kisses his mouth, their tongues meeting. Spencer moans on her lips, bucking his hip up as if he’s trying to make her understand that he wants more. He could kiss her for hours but right now all that he can think about is his cock slipping deep inside of her, watching her as she rides him nice and well with her hands on his chest.

“Do you want me to be on top, baby?”

“Yes, please. You look incredible right here.”

Spencer nods, running his hands up her torso to play with her nipples again. Having her on top means being able to touch her like this, play with her cit- and he does it, bringing his left hand down between her legs to press his thumb over her clitoris. Y/N bites her bottom lip, moving her hip against his mouth as she tries to hold back as best as she can.

“Alright, I’m going to stay right here. – whispers the young woman, whining at the feeling of his thumb pressing and massaging her clit at a steady pace – Are you ready for it?”

Spencer gulps, a drop of sweat streaming down his forehead. This is really happening. “Yes, I am. I want to be inside of you.”

Y/N grips the base of his cock again, brushing the head against her folds. Her wetness is coating his dick, making it easier for it to slip deep inside of her. Spencer can’t even breathe right now. Having her on top of him means his dream coming true, but the overwhelming desire and excitement burning in his body are bringing him quickly over the edge.

And with a swift motion, Y/N lifts her hip, aligns herself with his cock and slowly lets it sink inside of her.

It’s like all the air has been sucked out of his body, the time has stopped.

Taking him inch by inch, her body stretching to adjust to his size as Spencer forces his grip on her waist. He whines, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he tries to keep his eyes still on her face but this whole thing is so new, so intense, so overwhelming for him. He didn’t expect sex to be so hot.

Spencer’s fingers are pressing on the soft skin of her hips, leaving marks where he’s grabbing her. Her warmth is gripping him tightly, his heart beating out of his chest as he lets out a deep growl. His eyes are on her face the whole time, wanting to see the effect he has on her.

She’s wet and tight around him, his cock disappearing inside of her as Y/N puts a hand over Spencer’s chest to balance herself on his body. She gives him time to get used to the feeling – also because she wants to enjoy this moment, making it the perfect experience for both of them, and because he’s quite big. It has been a few months since she has had sex and going from months of nothing to being filled by Spencer, with his size, is a bit... different.

“Don’t hold back, baby. – says Y/N, her voice nothing but a whisper – I want to hear your voice. I know you’re...”

Spencer interrupts her, grabbing her face and pulling it in to kiss her mouth. “You feel amazing. I can’t even talk.”

Bending down and feeling his cock twitching inside of her, forces a moan out of her lips. “You feel even better. Can I move?”

He nods, helping her to sit back on his hip as she lowers herself back onto his dick. Spencer keeps his hand on her waist, watching her as she starts to rock her hips back and forth, keeping a steady pace; it’s not too quick, it’s not too slow, it’s perfect. 

And the view Spencer has on her beautiful body, her breasts bouncing up and down at each move, his cock slipping deep inside of her and her wetness coating their hips now united is everything he has dreamed of.

The noises Spencer makes are enough to push Y/N almost off the edge. They’re sweet and he keeps whispering how beautiful she is, how perfect she feels around him and how good he is feeling right now with her on top of him. 

Spencer tries to keep his eyes open, not wanting to miss a single moment but the pleasure is too overwhelming. He throws his head back on the pillow, his mouth open as little huffs and whines come out of it.

He can’t focus on anything else but the tightness and her wetness gripping him so tightly.

The only thing he can do is grip her waist, pushing her down on his cock each time he feels it slip out. Y/N doesn’t need guidance, he knows, but it’s the only thing he can do to ground himself and hold on. He wants to come, his orgasm is building up quickly enough right behind his belly button as heat spreads over his face but he can’t come. Not right now.

Sure, Y/N is moaning and he can feel her clench around him but... What if she doesn’t?

“I’m going to come. – he whispers, his fingers running up to grasp her breasts – I’m too close, Y/N, I can’t...”

She leans forward, kissing his mouth before starting to move quickly. She rocks her hip back and forth, feeling his cock twitch again inside of her as she clenches hard around him. Y/N wants him to come, it’s the whole point of what they’re doing. And luckily, she’s close too.

“Touch my clit. – says the young woman, her voice more stern – Please, I want to come with you.”

Spencer doesn’t need to be told twice, desperately sliding his hand between her breasts right to her thighs. He quickly finds her clit and when he touches it, slowly massaging it with the tip of his thumb, Y/N releases a long moan as she throws her head back.

“Good boy, just like that. – whispers Y/N, her voice sensual and low – Come for me, baby. Please, come inside of me. I know you want to.”

That’s exactly what he needed.

The mixture between her voice asking him to come inside of her, to mark her just as he has always wanted to, and the sight of her losing herself in her own pleasure while giving him even more than he hoped for, is enough to push Spencer over the edge. 

Y/N’s thighs shake around him, her whole body burning with the desire as she tries not to fall off his chest. The pleasure is intense and it’s burning, sending shivers down her spine.

“Come on, baby, come for me. – says again his colleague, her little hands caressing his torso as she lifts her body up to rock her hip back and forth – Let it go, baby, come for me.”

Then, she feels Spencer tense up right underneath her body and as his mouth opens, his eyes snap open staring back at her, she smirks. And he comes, spilling his warmth deep inside of her while playing with her clit. 

Sure, he’s having an amazing orgasm but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop; he wants Y/N to finish with him. And she does immediately after, the intense feeling of his come filling her deliciously and his thumb playing with her clit are enough to push her.

Her orgasm hits her hard as she clenches hard around his cock, Spence losing the grip on her hip with his hand. Y/N collapses on top of him, barely able to move as she hides her face in the crook of his neck.

Spencer closes his eyes, trying to catch his breath. He doesn’t even know what to say, the whole experience being so intense and interesting at the same time. But he’s sure about one thing: she had an orgasm, that’s all it mattered to him in the moment. 

He has lost his virginity, sure. He thought it was going to be a disaster because he was extremely nervous and he didn’t know where to put his hands, but Y/N was gentle and sweet enough to guide him, teaching him how she likes to be pleased. And she came! He came too, inside of her.

Not only they had sex without a condom, but he also came inside of her and it felt so fucking amazing – Spencer didn’t even care about it, in the moment; he didn’t think he would have sex with someone after working on a case, and he certainly didn’t think he would’ve had sex with one of his colleagues and his crush. 

Y/N was warm and tight and hot and simply perfect around him; she took him so well inside of her and she let him mark her.

Spencer has always thought that having sex with someone without a condom is a sign of trust – for obvious reasons – but he didn’t think Y/N would allow him to do that, to mark her like that, but she did. And she seems to not regret it for one second, just like him.

“Y/N, love, can you.. uh, move? Please?”

The young woman opens her eyes, blushing hard. “Sure, I’m sorry. Wait.”

Spencer helps her lift her hip, watching as his now soft cock slips out of her and a few drops of his come fall down on the bed sheets. The sight alone could turn Spencer on again, but he’s really tired and Y/N seems to be even more tired than him.

“Thank you.”

She rolls off his body, lying beside him. “For what, baby?”

Spencer turns to his side, watching her side profile. “Being my first time, being so patient with me. It must’ve been frustrating to, uh...”

She doesn’t let him finish the sentence. “It wasn’t frustrating at all, Spencie. It was your first time and it went perfectly, in my opinion. It was amazing and you had fun, that was the whole point.”

He stares at her, his hand landing on her belly. “So you didn’t, uh... You didn’t fake the orgasm, right? You actually came? Did I...”

“How could I have faked that? You fingers were fucking perfect, baby. You gave me an incredible orgasm. – says Y/N, placing her hand on top of his as their fingers intertwine – You made me come. You did great, baby, seriously. There’s no need to feel nervous now.”

Spencer quickly nods, his cheeks heating up again. “Thank you.”

She gives him a little smile, kissing his lips before stepping down the bed.

Spencer frowns, grabbing her hand.

“Where are you going?”

Y/N raises an eyebrow, turning around to look at him. “To the bathroom. I need to, uh, clean myself.”

Spencer seems to relax at her words.

“You thought I was going to leave.”

He doesn’t answer, not letting her hand go from his grip. He thought she was going back to her bedroom, but he was wrong; of course he was, he knows Y/N. He knows she’d never hurt him – and the fact she had sex with him, it means she wants to be with him somehow. She even said she liked him when they were on the beach!

Spencer wants to slap himself in the face. Y/N frowns as well, walking back to him to kiss his mouth again. He puts a hand behind her neck, deepening the kiss with his eyes closed, but she pulls away.

“Reid, you need to understand that you’re not going to get rid of me so easily. – mutters Y/N, tapping her index over his bottom lip before kissing it – I’m going to the bathroom, clean myself, come back here and cuddle you. Is that okay?”

He quickly nods, eagerness behind his eyes. “Sounds like the perfect plan.”

She walks inside the bathroom, closing the door behind her back. 

Spencer stares at the ceiling, a sheepish smile on his face as he runs his fingers through his hair. He can’t believe this happened for real. He had his first kiss on the beach and had his first time in his bedroom, on the same exact day. 

Is it weird? 

He has never met anyone who had their first kiss and their first time one after the other on the same day, but Spencer doesn’t really mind because they happened with a person he trusts, a person he knows would never hurt him. And now that he knows she likes him, he can’t stop thinking about how perfect the whole early morning was.

He asked her to go out with him for a walk. She said yes.

He told her he wanted to kiss her. She was eager for him to do so.

He said he had a bathtub in his bedroom. She went with him.

He begged her to be his first time. She gave herself to him.

And it all went smoothly – even though he’s still embarrassed for not lasting that long. It all happened so quickly: his mouth was on hers, her hands were all over his body, her thighs were wrapped around his waist, and then...

The bathroom door swings open. “Okay, we can sleep for two hours. I have to be in my room by eight.”

Spencer watches her as she lays on the bed beside him, lifting the blanket before slipping under it. Y/N cuddles up on his chest, her head resting on his shoulder as he immediately puts an arm around her to push her closer to him. When she lifts her chin, Spencer kisses her and she places a hand on his neck.

“Two hours.”

He hums, not really wanting to break the kiss. “I have to leave this afternoon, though.”

“I know, I know. – says Y/N, closing her eyes – I can’t tell JJ and Elle I’m busy, they’ll know something is up.”

Spencer inhales deeply. “If they knew what happened…”

She finishes the sentence for him. “They’ll never let it go. What if they bring it up to Morgan? He’ll freak out!”

They both chuckle, sharing another kiss before settling underneath the blanket. Spencer doesn’t really mind if the whole team finds out, but he knows that if they know, they’ll never let him breathe – especially Morgan and Elle. They care for him and they love Y/N, but what they love most is teasing Spencer and making him blush to the point he has to run away and find himself some other places to be.

“Do you, uh, regret…”

Y/N opens her eyes, looking at him. “Do I regret…?”

“Your first time?”

That’s an odd question. She has never thought about it before, mainly because as soon as College was over she went straight to Quantico to start her training to become an Agent – and all of her old life disappeared to make space for the hard working days where she usually went home completely exhausted. She could barely lift a finger.

“Well, it happened with my first boyfriend during my first year of college. It wasn’t exactly the best night of my life because it was rushed and we were both pretty drunk, but I don’t regret it. – explains Y/N, the tip of her fingers drawing circles over his chest – It hurt like Hell, though. He wasn’t as big as you but I think we didn’t wait too long, he didn’t prepare me the way I needed to, and, well... It hurt.”

Spencer frowns, shaking his head. “Maybe you weren’t as aroused as you should have?”

She sighs, pressing a kiss right under his chin. “Probably. We were kissing and then we went straight to sex, you know? There was no foreplay, no oral sex, no anything that could’ve gotten me wet enough.”

“I don’t even want to imagine how much it hurt. – mutters the young doctor, wrinkling his nose – I’m sorry.”

“It’s in the past, it’s all good. The second time we had sex, a few days later, it went much better; we were both in the mood, we were not drunk so we knew what we were doing. – says Y/N, a little smile spreading on her lips – Why?”

He shrugs, his right hand playing with her hair. “I was just curious. My first time was amazing.”

She chuckles, playfully pinching his tummy. “Of course it was, we weren’t drunk and, well... You got me in the mood as soon as you kissed me on the beach. You were lucky, pretty boy.”

“Please, don’t call me that. – says Spencer in between laughs, shaking his head – Morgan uses that nickname and, as much as I love him, I don’t want to think about Morgan right now.”

Y/N nods, giggling. “Alright, sorry...”

“Baby.”

She raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Sorry, baby.”

Spencer blushes, feeling her eyes on his face. “I like it when you call me like that.”

“Then it shall be your nickname forever. – says Y/N, pressing a little kiss on the base of his neck – But I can’t call you like that in public, can I? We don’t want your mind to think about something else...”

When the young woman leaves another kiss right on his throat, Spencer bites his bottom lip and closes his eyes. Why is it so easy for him to get hard? It was just a kiss, it wasn’t a hand on his legs or dirty words whispered to his ear. 

Why is his body betraying him like that? He can’t get hard again, he can’t ask her to have sex for the second time in a row after she basically told him she’s tired and wants to sleep but his private parts don’t agree with those thoughts in his mind.

What if Y/N thinks he’s too greedy?

What if she runs out of the bedroom because he’s being a creep?

Spencer tries to relax, his free hand grasping the bed sheet to fight the urge of grabbing her by the face and kissing her so hard they both lose their breath. He might think about the pictures of the corpses he found, but the feeling of Y/N’s mouth leaving kisses all over his skin is making it difficult for him to focus on something else.

“Y/N...”

Before she can answer him, Spencer rolls over her body and pins her hands against the mattress.

Now she’s glad she hasn’t opened her mouth because oh, that gesture was hot.

“What are you doing?” asks Spencer

His voice is low, sensual, incredibly hot. “I was just kissing your neck.”

“No, you were not. – mutters the young woman, using his legs to spread hers as he settles in between them – I thought you were tired.”

When Spencer realises that her eyes are blown up with pleasure and her hip rises from the bed to try and meet his, he looks down for a split second. She just told him that her ex boyfriend had sex with her, for her first time, without arousing her that much; and right at this moment, they haven’t done anything and she’s already wet. Dripping.

Is this the power he has over her?

Can he already push himself inside of her without hurting her?

He doesn’t want to test his luck, so his right hand slides between their bodies and quickly makes its way between her legs before his index finger slips inside of her. And Y/N moans, throwing her head back on the pillow as she clenches around his single finger.

“Okay, I lied. I lied, I’m sorry baby. – she breathes out, whining again when a second finger is being pushed deep inside of her – I may want to have sex again even though I’m tired.”

Spencer has control over her right now but he doesn’t know what to do. Did he really pin her down on the mattress because he wanted to? How did he do it? He never thought he had a little dominant side – well, “dominant” is a strong word; he’s just horny and hard and he wants to be inside of her again – but Y/N doesn’t seem to mind he took the reins of the moment.

“A second round?”

Y/N quickly nods, putting her hands behind his neck. “Yes, but if you’re...”

“I want this too, I was too afraid to ask. – whispers Spencer, his fingers curling inside of her as she lets out a yelp – Do you like when I touch you like this? Am I doing good?”

She’s at a loss for words. She can’t think straight because he’s pushing and massaging her sweet spot. Her mind has turned into a mess and the only thing she could say is a chorus of “yes, yes, yes” – but it’s enough for Spencer to keep going. 

His fingers work quickly inside of her, growing harder each second as he feels her warm walls closing tightly around him and the wet sound of her arousal growing, too. He didn’t have the time to finger her before, too lost in his own pleasure to realise that she might have wanted more from him, but now he can take his time and play with her body.

Her wetness is now drenching his fingers and his hand, as Spencer keeps pressing his digits against the soft indentation inside of her – he has read so many books about human anatomy, and now he’s glad he did so because he knows exactly what to do. 

And he may have watched a few videos about “how to finger a woman and make her come” on websites he’s never going to reveal.

Now he can test those methods and those videos, see if they were helpful.

But the way Y/N is moaning and moving her hips against his hand, as if she’s trying to ride his finger or begging him to do more, is enough to tell him that he’s doing an amazing job. If she thought he needed guidance during their first time, now she’s sure he can handle everything on his own – also because she can’t really talk, too lost in her own pleasure right now to focus on forming a coherent sentence. 

“Keep... Fuck, keep going. – whispers Y/N, her thighs shaking as she bites her bottom lip – Fuck, baby, you’re doing... Amazing.”

Spencer leans down, his mouth immediately crashing against hers as she pulls his hair and moans loudly. He doesn’t slow down his movements, a third finger slipping deep inside of her as he curls all of them; Y/N trembles underneath his body, her hands scratching his back and then tugging at his hair. She doesn’t even know what to grab, she’s too overwhelmed as she feels her orgasm growing hard and fast inside of her body.

It’s almost there, almost there...

Spencer pulls out all of his fingers and with one swift motion, he grabs his cock and pushes it deep inside of her. Just like that, without planning anything, without asking her if she wants to come on his fingers on something else. But Y/N lets out a loud whine, her arms wrapping around his neck as her lips slightly part against his and her legs close right behind his waist, locking him on her body.

“Oh my fucking God, baby.”

Those words roll off her tongue before she can stop them.

Spencer doesn’t know where he found this confidence. Maybe it’s the hormones playing tricks on his head and pushing him to his limit. Maybe they’re trying to force him out of his comfort zone, maybe he’s trying to impress Y/N somehow – and the pleasure, mixed with the intensity of the moment and his feelings for her, is taking over his mind. Y/N seems glad he has let go of himself, he’s not holding back – and he doesn’t seem to want to stop.

“Am I hurting you?” whispers Spencer, suddenly scared

She grabs him by the chin, shaking her head. “Don’t you dare stop, do you understand me?”

He doesn’t need anything else as he starts to rock his hip against hers, his cock pushing deep inside of her. Y/N arches her back again, scratching his as she tries to meet his movements by raising her waist.

She wants to scream, she wants to be loud, she wants to beg him to fuck her as hard as she can but she can’t open her mouth – she doesn’t want anybody to know what they’re doing, and she hopes the walls are soundproof. If someone finds out she’s having sex at this hour of the morning, with none other than the sweet and innocent Spencer Reid after a tough case.. if Hotch finds out, he’s going to kill her with his bare hands.

Okay, maybe he won’t kill her but he will reprimand her. And as much as Y/N likes Spencer and everything he’s doing to her, she doesn’t want to lose her job over a few rounds of sex.

Sex that is making her dizzy.

“I’m.. So close. – Y/N manages to whisper, her hands behind his neck – Don’t come inside of me this time, baby.”

Spencer barely listens to her, his ears ringing as the pleasure diffuses in his body. His strokes become faster, more demanding, deep, and exactly where she needs them to be. Y/N pulls his hair, her fingers playing with it as she meets his hip, trying not to scream too loud as he brings his mouth down to hers.

“You feel so good, baby. – mutters Y/N, holding him tightly to her body – Are you close?”

He hums, quickly nodding as he hides his face in the crook of her neck. He inhales her scent, moving his hips back and forth as he feels her clenching again around him. She’s a panting mess, whining and calling out for him as she tries to hold her orgasm back because she wants him to come before her – but he’s a gentleman, he’s not going to come first.

“Y/N, I’m close.”

She nods, tugging on his hair again. “Let it go, baby. I’m co-coming.”

And soon, the pleasure is getting overwhelmed, the intensity of the moment leaving both of them speechless as she finally lets go of herself. The orgasm hits her as she rolls her eyes in the back of her head, scratching his back. She rides that orgasm for as long as she can, not wanting to let go of that pleasure burning her body. But when she comes down, Spencer pulls out of her warm body and quickly finishes off, coming all over her belly.

Y/N stares at him, admiring the way his lips are parted and little huffs are coming out of them. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, his expression is focused on what is happening until he completely relaxes. He closes his eyes, throwing his head back before collapsing against her body and hiding his face on her neck.

They will definitely need a shower before leaving that bedroom.

“Did I hurt you?”

Y/N traces an imaginary line from his bottom lip down to his throat. “No, baby. You didn’t. It was kind of hot, you know, the way you took the lead.”

Spencer lets out a soft sigh, not moving from where he is. “Oh, do you want me to be more... uhm, dominant? I don’t know how but I can learn. There are a lot of books regarding the...”

She interrupts him, tapping her index over his bottom lip. “I like the way you are, you don’t have to become anything for me. I like you as you. But if you want to be more dominant because it brings you pleasure, then... suit yourself.”

A few minutes later, after catching their breath and coming down from their highs, Y/N and Spencer head to the bathroom to finally wash off the remains of their fun together. She didn’t think she’d be able to keep her hands to herself but Spencer did, keeping her at bay and kissing her once in a while. Y/N felt like she was on cloud nine, enjoying the feeling of his hands massaging her hair and washing them clean for her. So she did the same for him, washing his hair and kissing his lips each time she had the chance to do so.

Once they’re out of the bathroom, Y/N recollects all of her clothes and wears them as quickly as she can. It’s almost eight in the morning and she has to head down to the bar to have breakfast with Elle and JJ. She doesn’t really want to leave Spencer all by himself in the room, but she has to or the others will start wondering where she is and why she hasn’t come down to meet all of them.

“Okay, I have to go now. – says Y/N, watching Spencer as he puts his shirt back on – Don’t miss me too much.”

He chuckles, following her to the door. “I won’t. Are you going to come back for lunch?”

She nods, kissing his lips again. “Yes, I think so. Me and the girls are probably going out to enjoy the sun but I’ll make sure to be here before you leave.”

Spencer keeps his hand on her hip, lingering with his lips on hers. “Okay, have fun with them.”

“I will.”

After sharing one last kiss, Y/N opens the door of his bedroom and looks around the hallway. She doesn’t hear anything and there’s no one around so she is safe. She quickly makes her way towards her bedroom, not too far from Spencer’s, when she hears JJ and Elle’s voices coming from the stairs. Y/N almost jumps at the sounds, trying to find her keys inside the pocket of her sweatshirt. Her heart is beating out of her chest.

“Hey, Y/N!”

She gasps, the keys falling from her hand. “Oh, hi ladies. I was, uh... I forgot my phone.”

JJ crosses her arms to her chest, noticing her colleague seems shaken. “Are you okay? You....”

“Yeah! I’m fine, I’m good. I’ll be down in a minute. – says Y/N, giving them a little smile before opening her door – Save me a seat, okay? I just need to grab my phone.”

But before her colleagues step inside the elevator of the floor, the door of Spencer’s bedroom swings open. He doesn’t notice JJ and Elle staring at him at the end of the hallway. He turns to his side, looking at Y/N with a shy smile before holding out his hand.

“You forgot your, uh, panties.”

Her panties.

She forgot her damned panties in his bedroom. And now he’s holding them out to her, with his cheeks pinker than normal and his eyes shining under the faint lights of the hallway.

Y/N wants to scream right now.

Elle begins to laugh as JJ hits her shoulder, but they both don’t hold out their laughs. 

Y/N wants to scream, seriously, but she’s completely frozen right in front of the young doctor. He doesn’t seem to be phased until he turns around and spots the other two women not too far from him as they witness the scene. 

They weren’t expecting this to happen and neither did Spencer, because he didn’t hear the voices coming from the hallway.

He thought Y/N was already in her bedroom, but apparently, she wasn’t. And now they’re both in front of JJ and Elle, as they giggle and shake their heads. Y/N covers her face with a hand, biting her bottom lip; her cheeks are hot and her hands are shaking, because she was not expecting this.

It was all supposed to be a secret, at least for a while. And now everything is out in the open. She forgot her panties in his bedroom. How is she going to lie about it and tell her colleagues nothing happened? 

She can’t lie, it’s too obvious that they have done something. Y/N hopes JJ and Elle will keep their mouths shut, at least, but she knows they won’t because... Well. They are FBI agents, but they love to gossip with the rest of the team – maybe not with Hotch and Gideon, but still.

They’ll definitely say something to Morgan.

“I... Thank you, Doctor Reid. – mutters the young woman, grabbing her panties from his hand – I have to, uh..”

Spencer looks at JJ and Elle, giving them his usual tight smile.

“We’ll save you a seat, Y/N. – says Elle, winking at her before walking back to the elevator – Bye Spencer.”

Once the two women have disappeared from the floor, Y/N looks back at the young doctor in front of her and stomps her foot on the ground. He remains quiet for a few seconds but then his laugh erupts, and she starts to giggle along with him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know they were out here.”

She shakes her head, patting her free hand on his chest. “My dear Spencer, we’re totally fucked.”

And if Morgan teases them throughout their lunch, well... It’s pretty obvious. 

TAG LIST: @bookishspencer @allexthakatt @calm-and-doctor @reidswhoree​ @getyoutmoon​

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist. :)

[artemelle]

Hi Elle!!!! Would it be ok to request what it would be like to shadow the ToT characters at work? Hope your having a great day!!!

shadowing the tot characters at work <3

➶   artem wing

it takes a bit of convincing to get him to agree to you shadowing him at work. not because he doesn't want you there -- believe me, this man will make up any excuse to spend more time with you -- it's just that he knows celestine will be clowning him the entire time.

but it's ok, a bit of teasing is worth it when he sees the huge smile that spread across your lips when he finally agrees. he pretty much briefs the entire firm on your appearance the day before, "my significant other will be coming with me to work tomorrow, please act accordingly." (code for : do not embarrass or clown me please)

he takes you on a paperwork-heavy day so you stay in his office for the majority of the time. artem thinks he's boring you with the amount of legal jargon he's throwing your way when he talks about cases.

but when you tell him that you actually find it interesting, his eyes just light up!! and when you do little things throughout the day -- like get him coffee or brush away the hair that falls on his face as he's reading -- it makes him feel so loved and cared for.

"perhaps i should bring you to work more often..."

➶   luke pearce

this man wants nothing more than to keep you safe, so it takes a lot more convincing to get him to agree. though just hit him with a pout and a pleading look in your eyes and he’ll be folding so quick. as much as luke wants to protect you, he also wants you happy.

most of your day with him is essentially a field trip around the city as he gathers clues and interviews witnesses for his investigation. he tries to keep everything fun and lighthearted by telling you a few fun anecdotes from all the cases he’s worked, and he keeps you engaged by asking for your opinions and actually considering it

but when he’s in interrogation mode? oh boy...at first, he tries to get you to leave the room because he doesn’t want you see him all threatening and serious...however, you hold your ground and he’s left with no choice but to let you stay.

luke snaps back into his usual self as soon as he’s got the information he needs apologises profusely, not wanting you to see him act that way...but you hold his head in your hands and tell him that you love all sides of him...mans heart just melts.

“i- you mean that? thank you, yn...”

➶   marius von hagen

bold of you to assume that he’s not the one who suggested that you shadow him? marius will literally take any opportunity to show off how amazing and wonderful you are!! part of you expected that you’d just be quietly sitting in the corner of a conference room but nooope! suddenly your hear your name being called and marius is asking for your input?

gets you your own ID card for the office and everything! marius really goes the extra mile and presents it to you with a smile on his face, “it has the same level of access as mine, so if I get into a meeting and you can’t come with...feel free to explore!” :D

and you’re just like- is that allowed?? can he do that?? i'm only going to be around for one (1) day!! but of course, he sees it as invitation for you to come around the office more often.

you and vincent become instant besties as you occasionally run around the city with him when marius asks for something and he had other matters to attend to. marius pretends to act upset about it but he likes that the two of you get along.

“should i be worried about..you and vincent...? ah, i'm just kidding, i know you love me.”

➶   vyn richter

since you’ve already expressed interest in knowing more about his field, vyn lets you shadow him during lectures! he introduces you to the class as his teaching assistant, but they could all tell that you were clearly something more in the way his gaze always seemed to land to where you were seated. 

a few students actually came up to you when class ended, telling you that you and vyn seemed like a good match, asking questions on how you met, and asking how vyn is outside of being professor / criminal psychologist extraordinaire. of course, you answer all their questions with a smile on your face until vyn pulls you away.

keeps you busy with paperwork. he hands you an answer key so you could check the objective parts of his students’ tests for him. the two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you checked papers side by side in his office.

when all is said and done, he takes you out for a bite to eat as a thank you for all your hard work. you shake your head, telling him that you barely did anything besides listen to his lectures and check a few papers.

“you misunderstand...you have done so much simply by providing me with your presence.”

i do not ask for much- only to spend an entire day with my boys <3

—   see if you can request something here  ;  masterlist <3

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