#elis rambles（｡>‿‿<｡ ）

[johnconstantinesdick]

The most popular fic in the Steel Samurai fandom had an unexplained seven year hiatus only to update at like 3 am on December 21st, 2027. The author explains that they couldn’t update fic while in prison (huh?) but now that they’re off death row (WHAT??) they’ve transcribed seven years worth of writing (Jesus Christ). The update is 130k words long. Edgeworth and Maya don’t sleep that night.

[who-needs-words]

Imagine this.

You’re chilling in your room, probably messing around on your guitar when your dad calls you into the living room.

When you get there you see a number of your family members - mostly your annoying half-siblings but a few more distant realizes, all gathered around arguing. Your dad turns to you and says “your sisters’s best friend is stranded and she wants to go pick him up”

You pause because what? You sister doesn’t really do friends, and you’re pretty sure she broke contract with her last so-called bestie. But sure whatever, you’ve never met the dude.

“And?” You prompt because you could working on a new song right now.

“What are your thoughts?” Your dad asks and oh shit- you don’t even remember this guy’s name and now you have to have an opinion on him???

You’re Apollo from epic the musical btw

[cosmiclion]

I'm dead serious some of y'all need to stop commenting shit like "Kill it with fire!!1!" on every post of a bug or any "scary" creature you see. Idgaf if you have a phobia or how many legs it has, having such a violent hateful reaction to any animal is just not normal behavior. And that goes double for posts by someone who's happy about the creature, I'm not asking you to go cuddle bugs just to mind your own business, people don't want to hear how much you hate something they like.

Edit since I forgot this was the piss on the poor website: Yes ofc ppl should tag pics of bugs so that those who don't wanna see them can filter them, and yes I know ppl can't choose what they are scared of, but wishing violent death on an animal, wanting to drive a species to extinction and telling people who like unconventional animals that you hate them and wish they died is still not normal behavior, hope that helps.

[heartelysia]

busy thinkin' about!

gallagher whos so tired from the charmony festival, when he gets home, he lazily slumps over behind you. his large figure covering yours as his stubble gently pushes into the crook of your neck, his nose inhaling your calming scent. gallagher's voice is drowsy and almost croaky, as if he had to yell at his young bloodhounds for them to listen, "mm.. you smell so refreshing dove..."

his thick, calloused fingers softly trace all over your stomach, a low groan passing his lips when you jolt against him. the brunette continues his lazy teasing, his hands dance down to the hem of your bottoms, pushing them down to your plush thighs as he littered gentle kisses along your neck. gallagher who spins you around by your hips, using his knee to knock you up against the marble counter behind you.

your ears dust with a light pink at the sound of his enervated chuckle, staring down at his carmine pants. gallagher's hand bearing the finger-less glove cups your face, pushing your cheeks till your lips puckered up, "so cute. what a lucky man i am...", the brunette murmurs before releasing your face. with a single breath exiting your lungs, you feel your sensitive nipples being exposed to the chilly air of the night.

eyes wide you stare dumbfounded at gallagher as he wore a shit-eating smirk but rather than making eye contact with you, he seemed to be more captivated by your hardened nipples. a soft moan bubbles in your throat as his wet tongue latches onto the bud, his stubble pricking your areola. gallagher's muffled chuckle sends a delicious wave of vibrations against your breasts.

his thick hand dipped into your panties, the one adorned in pristine white pushed your thighs onto the counter till fat spilled between his fingers. almost instantly, gallagher cracked a small smile at your dripping slit, the ends of his finger-less glove dampening just the slightest from your arousal. with his palms softly grinding against your clit, gallagher's calloused fingertips sink into your hungry cunt, just his delicious fingers make you feel so full already.

its no surprise when you melt into gallagher's touch, allowing him to continue making you writhe beneath him. his thick fingers curl right up against your sensitive g-spot, lazily grinning when you let out a yelp. the brunette proceeds to bully his fingers into your drenched cunt, slowly speeding up his pumps whilst the sound of your sweet cunny swallowing his fingers filled the air.

gallagher is the type who cant have you cumming without him, sure he was tired but he wasnt going to end this so quickly. so he does the next best thing, ripping his fingers dripping in your juices from your aching pussy. he loves the way you whine, weakly bucking your hips against his hand desperate for any sort of an orgasm, tears pricking your eyes from how frustrated you are with losing your high.

gallagher laughs, pushing your thighs further apart till he could slip between them. your partner drops to his knees as his buff arms hook underneath your squishy thighs, pulling your sopping wet pussy closer to his face. his warm breath fans your already twitching cunny whilst youre helplessly running your fingers through his chocolate toned hair, "cmon princess, let me eat you out."

[angelwiththeblue-box]

what if we kissed at the blood rave??? and we were both boys???

[internetskiff]

Something about Gordon Freeman that's extremely fascinating is how he was basically forced into the "Messiah" role by complete accident. Dude was on his way to work, caught in an extremely awful lab accident, and he was just fighting for his life so brutally that he ended up taking down an entire army, making the other less capable or equipped scientists assign him as the one that would go in and take down the Nihilanth - I mean, they basically didn't have many other options, or at least not many better options at their disposal. The whole time he basically doesn't have much of a say in any of it, which means he was practically railroaded into becoming the G-Man's employee by pure circumstance.

Doesn't get any better in Half Life 2 either - the surviving Black Mesa staff have turned this man they potentially sent to die into a legend amongst the resistance movement. The Vortigaunts chant his name as they draw murals on the canal walls. The Lambda - a symbol of both the Lambda Labs but most notably the symbol on the HEV suit - now symbolizes liberation. Therefore, of course, the man who bears this symbol is the liberator. By the ending chapters of Half Life 2, Freeman commands entire squads of rebels, appointed the leader regardless of how good a tactician he actually is - if they die, they died for him, not because of him. As long as he gets to the Citadel and breaches it's wall, all those deaths would be worth it - once again, others send him into a near-inhospitable environment to take down a near-invincible threat.

I think that despite us being in control of Freeman for most of the series, the real protagonists of the story are the Vance family. Eli, too, was right at ground zero when the Resonance Cascade occurred. He is the leader of the Resistance. It's very possible that he's the one who spread word of Freeman throughout City 17. The fall of Nova Prospekt AND the Citadel occurred as a result of Eli's capture. In the Combine's eyes, the Vances are a threat equal to, if not greater than Freeman himself. That, and the Vances have something Freeman doesn't - agency. They're beyond the G-Man's control. They're beyond the Combine's control. Their actions are completely their own, with no third party to control every single step they take. Over the course of the Episodes, it feels as though the dynamic shifts, with Alyx becoming a much more vital figure. The Combine are specifically after her now, because she carries the code capable of disrupting the portal through which the Combine could send reinforcements and finally consume Earth. In both the Epistle 3 script and in Half Life Alyx it ends with her basically taking Freeman's position under the G-Man's employ. She quite literally takes the role of the Main Character away from Gordon. This, of course, is nothing to envy, because it's been repeatedly shown that any character assuming this role in the series ends up being reduced to nothing but a pawn for those who control them. It's an extremely fascinating spin on the linear nature of the games, canonically acknowledging you're doing nothing but marching along a path someone else made for you. Despite being the one free man, you're not offered much of a choice.

[beaulesbian]

one more thing about the teen wolf movie, because i’m still not over how bad it was, and i’m taking these few things i liked:

there’s no evidence which would say that derek and stiles aren’t communicating together, on the contrary. when i watched this scene:

“you should be calling your son”, it sounds like a thing derek says more often, - possibly hearing it from stiles, (for my headcanon part - it could be that stiles and his dad had some small argument and aren’t speaking to each other, or avoiding talking.)

And later we even see sheriff's phone, where it seems the past few days hes been in contact with derek and other people, but there’s no stiles -

and that’s why it would be funny to think derek has to listen to both of their sides of their whatever-disagreement,

stiles would be every time like, “he still hasnt called”, so derek could be telling sheriff hes tired of his shit and “can you just call your son? not any fbi agents but specifically your son? thanks, yeah he will be visiting next week, im not gonna say more, you both need to sort it out, at least for eli, so you dont argue in front of him��.

-

and another thing is the jeep, of course, the jeep.

which ofc, derek doesn’t hate it at all, and we find out in the end how much he doesn’t hate it.

(istill can’t believe this is a real line they said in the movie, but given what other things they’ve said and done in this movie, okay..)

-

this part in 4x1 is probably the last thing i watched and remembered from the plot, so i will take it as stiles’ decision to never abandon the jeep, and how much it means to him, even with whatever happened in the other two later seasons:

like, tell me stiles knew he wasn’t going to be around in the town for a while bc of his internship, so he left it at home, thinking it will just.. stay there.

but derek thought otherwise - he wanted to keep it running, to fix it.

it’s like this important thing, the jeep, that connects their family, and now it’s eli’s, and derek is still annoyed about it (because he’s alive), but also amused that really that car is eli’s favorite thing just like it was for stiles (and just like derek in that metaphor, it won’t stay down, it keeps running, because again, derek is alive in this version, and everyone is happy and okay. ♥)

[owlyflufff]

nothing traumatizes trigun fans more than a piece of furniture and no I won't elaborate

[ambrosesystem]

can't let gang know i fw murder and cannibalism as a metaphor for extreme obsession and love

[elias-the-alias]

Limited Life Joel, you'll always be famous to me

[johnconstantinesdick]

Jeanneil fake besties of all time. Kings of committing to the bit. Neil could say whatever and Jean would (rightfully) assume it’s part of a scheme to keep them alive and would corroborate immediately.

[muckyschmuck]

ultimately!

[cosmiclion]

Wow congrats to Marcille for being upgraded to monster fucker.

[heartelysia]

busy thinking of...

toxic ex! gojo who only broke up with you because he needed to move on! at least he thought he did until you did move on without him, leaving him in the dust. he tries his best to forget about you! he really does, sinking his head into his palms the same way hes sinking his cock into the girl below him. but nothing feels good, nothing can make the aching emptiness in his chest go away, not if its not you.

god he didnt even notice how intoxicated he was with you until you left. you were everything he needed to fucking survive and you just up and left like your three year long relationship was nothing? toxic ex! gojo who will do anything for you back, buying a cup of overpriced coffee at your regular place just to bump heads with you every single day, buying you random flowers and leaving them in your break room of your workplace, texting you non stop even when you blocked most of his accounts.

toxic ex! gojo whos anger boils in the pit of his stomach when you rejected all of his advances, blaming you for all wrongdoings because this would've never happened if you loved him more! he would've mever broken up with you, he wouldnt have to go to the earths ledge for a tiny spark in your 'relationship', he would never have to end up with a fucking restraining order.

hes mad. hes mad that you moved on, hes angry that you left him without begging to stay together, hes furious that your life isn't in shambles. toxic ex! gojo needs you dependant on him, he cant just have you wandering off to another person so easily next time. so he does what any sane person does and stalks you from a distance until the restraining order expires, watching your life unfold in his hollow blue eyes.

dear lord knows how many things toxic ex! gojo has done to try and forget you but nothing seemed to work! from getting into multiple relationships, getting a brand new job in an area he has no experience in to travelling the world, yet everything he did seemed to remind him of your sweet smile.

as any other human being would do, as soon as the document hits its end, he shreds it up and makes his way to your home. you seemed too happy, forgetting about your ex entirely, getting random flings, meeting some new dude called toji, going on dates with said man. toxic ex! gojo couldnt allow that, you were his. you were his property even if you didnt know it and gojo didnt like sharing his property with others.

toxic ex! gojo who couldnt help but notice how many of your flings resembled him, personality or appearance wise, there was always something similar to your ex. that was until toji came into the picture, he was nothing like gojo and your ex felt his veins bulge in irritation. he was your first everything - from hand holding, kissing, picnic dates to sex - so you should still be with him!

he needed you back, he needed you to crawl back to him and plead for forgiveness but that never came. toxic ex! gojo who would break into your apartment when youre on dates with the new man, scoffing when he realizes you still left a spare copy of the keys behind the painting hanging above your door. god you were so easy. when hes inside your apartment, hes hit with the fattest wave of nostalgia.

he instantly heads into your shabby room that gojo stayed in whenever, inhaling the scent of your sweetness like it was an addictive drug. he swears theres a hint of his musk but it might just be someone elses considering its been two years. toxic ex! gojo didnt like that. he fucking hated that idea.

maybe thats how he ended up here, his voice whiny and airy as he desperately humps your pillow as he shoves his nose into the area where it covered your cunt. his poor cock was aching, his tip a burning red colour as the veins running down his thick cock throbbed each time he took a whiff of your panties. god he was so needy, after months of being unable to reach a satisfactory climax, just the feeling of rutting his hips into your pillow that you used daily made precum dribble out of his cock in buckets.

whilst youre happily on the date with toji, gojo is busy having seconds by staining any and all surface in his cum discreetly. he thinks hes never came this much just from masturbating, his balls wrung dry to the core just by the memory of your sweet cunt sloppily making a mess all over his balls and pelvis.

but when the front door of your apartment creaks open, gojo freezes, unable to hide the initial shock on his face. why were your sobs filling the silence?

part 2

[angelwiththeblue-box]

small fandoms are bad small fandoms have no content small fandoms blah blah blah

clearly none of u appreciate the joy of having the whole fandom be u and ur ten friends and having solidified hcs that are basically canon bc it’s just u guys talking about it

[iszapizza]

KARESHIRT?.???