#eleven could be an air-bender

[therealityhelix]

Shards of the Nexus: Distortion Mirror

Multiversal coincidence can be a real bitch.

Song: This Ain’a a Scene, it’s an Arms Race-Fall Out Boy

@cardwrecks​ @captainbaddecisions​

This could not be happening.

Gods, gods in the sky. Prismatic fire blossoming in the air, devouring everything. Hot cast iron, burnt sugar, sizzling sausage.

Lively emerald eyes staring down in last, agonized moments-

Lively emerald eyes staring down in callous bemusement.

Kiwi tang, antifreeze, and all her love condensed into a convoluted walnut shell maze of anguish, grinding away her spiritual scaffolding like a rasp.

Emerald eyes and coffee-dark hair, shorter than she remembered, but his. The beauty of his sculpted face, carved ivory, harsher than she remembered, but his. The wire twist of his mouth, not smiling as she remembered, but his. Undeniably his. Undeniably him.

Her husband had been dead these past eleven years, but this was undeniably him. Him, in all his radiant, arrogant perfection, like he hadn't aged a day. He was looking at her for the first time in a lifetime, the most beautiful thing in existence.

And she couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe, the duplicitous orm of hope coiling inside her ribs, and she reached out one trembling hand. If she could touch him, if she could touch him, she could make him real, make him live again, and everything she had ever done to survive would be worth it.

If she could just touch him...

He stepped away from her outstretched fingers, a disdainful expression crossing his face.

“Hey, are you dying? If you're going to die, could you do it somewhere else? I don't intend to murder anyone today, so if any death gets pinned on me, I'd like it to be on purpose.”

The voice. Cicada screech at sundown, too-tart lemonade. The song of a hornet just above the head, fine if friendly, devastating if not.

The voice was wrong.

The hope shattered, it's scornful shards pinning her to this time, this place, this reality, this man.

Her love remained in the one place she could not reach. This man was a stranger. A stranger that looked down on her without a shred of warmth or recognition.

She collapsed against the brick wall of the building behind them, trying to catch her breath. What cruelty could allow this? What mocking, multiversal coincidence?

It was some kind of bank, in a quiet, affluent area, employee parking in the back, carefully manicured topiaries stabbing up from the freshly piled wood chips, a fence of almost artificial greenery.

He'd been fiddling with the dials of some kind of handheld device, very much like a repurposed old-fashioned video game controller when she'd popped out from a space between those little trees, and she saw the security cameras power down and back up again.

“Aaand there we go!” He exclaimed. “Security system's mine! Now, you're gonna want to scoot over a bit for this next part. Go on, scootch.”

He shooed her as if she were a dog, still working the controls. From between the rows of cars, a strange machine rolled, a junkyard mishmash of pallets and scrap slapped together in a way that seemed messy, but began unfolding smoothly into a work of upcycled art.

Fascinated by the scene, she didn't move fast enough for this young, ill-tempered Ridder. He planted his shoe on her shoulder and shoved her over.

“I said move, you waste of a skull! Why are you even here? Did you just want to sightsee while you were on your meth bender? No...you're too chubby for meth. So what the hell is it? Too dull to speak? Or is it this?”

He plucked at his suit, a garish green, covered in question marks, a clearly bespoke piece whose ridiculousness was offset by its perfect tailoring and bold purple accessories. Violets popping from the mossy forest floor. Nori sheets and moly grease.

“Ugh, I swear, the smooth brained rabble sees one mask and thinks they're going to die. I'm not going to kill you just for existing. I'm not the Joker. So have your panic attack over there, would you? I'm trying to get something done.”

Derision. Lime juice sizzling on hot pavement. Bitter rue woven into a shield against the world. She could have become like that, had her heart sprouted in more barren ground.

Dragging herself to her feet, she stepped aside, trying to squeeze the last dregs of flashback disorientation out like water from her hair. This was no ghost from her past. This was the future, wherever its winding path led.

And this contemptuous hotshot might become part of it, if either allowed it to happen.

She watched the machine unfold and reconfigure itself, a composite creation of balanced base, long, segmented arm, and spinning head. A drill? No. Something else.

“What is this thing?” she ventured.

“Oh you can talk? Someone taught the monkey a trick! Good for you. Why should I tell you anything?”

She watched the machine, still unsure of it's function. Was it a weapon? Could she knock it over? Probably not.

“What am I gonna do about it?”

“Nothing, that's what. Unless you're some kind of plainclothes cop or civvie vigilante...” He squinted through his domino mask. “Nah. Again, too chubby.”

“You always this charming?” Maybe it was the bitterness of disappointment, maybe it was the flagrant rudeness. Whatever it was, her hackles were up.

“Your ego is meaningless. It's your health, after all. Would you prefer I speak truth, or lie about it?”

“There's this secret third option. It's called Not Saying Anything. I mean, I haven't said anything about your height.”

“What about my height? I'm taller than you!”

“You're wearing lifts!”

“And I'd still be taller than you without them!”

The machine had attached itself to the thick brick wall of the bank while they argued, lights flaring to life on its spinning head. Lasers. It might be made out of junk, but its was a sophisticated construction nonetheless. It burned through the wall, heat blowing from the bricks like a desert sunset.

“What are you after in there?”

He picked at his purple gloves, not looking at her.

“Notably, you have yet to give me a reason to tell you anything.”

Should she leave? This was an unpleasant creature, and the ache he awakened in her was deep as the root of a mountain. But...she was curious. She was always curious.

“Old fashioned bank heist?”

“Are you always this obtuse? What else would it be? Move!”

He shoved her again, as the machine finished cutting, the circle of wall falling outward and crushing it, rather than her. He stared at the mangled scrap for a moment, then shrugged, reaching into the hole and retrieving a small strongbox, labeled with the name Wayne.

“Perfect. Flawless. Exactly according to-oh, damnit.”

Security had finally noticed their lost systems control and come to investigate. Two guns trained on the Riddler, who held his nonchalant demeanor.

“I'm not involved.” Helix said, trying to step away.

“Here, hold this.” he dropped the box into her hands. Startled, she clutched it to her chest. Then he yanked her close and pressed a firearm of his own to her temple. “Okay gentlemen. You know the drill. Drop the weapons, or I blow the hamster wheel she calls a brain all over the pavement.”

The fear diminished into a base note, overwhelmed by cloying irritation. It wasn't just the inevitable betrayal, so much as the belief that he could do better than that.

“Didn't you say you weren't going to murder anyone today?” she griped.

“I said I didn't intend to, not that I wouldn't if the need arose.”

“Ugh, Arkham said you were a pill. And yet, I came anyway.”

“Sounds like you should have listened to your betters. Funny though, how a single sentence can influence the outcome of a situation. Do try to keep up. No really. Keep up. It's time to run!”

Gripping her by the yoke of her blouse, he darted into the parking lot, dragging her along. Neither security guard had dropped their gun-this was Gotham after all, the lives of hostages held little value. Bullets zipped past, embedding into cars, pinging off pavement. He shot back over his shoulder, apparently not caring where he was aiming.

Leading her to a surprisingly gray car, he tossed her in, still clutching the strongbox. More bullets barely missed the vehicle as they peeled away.

“Alright. So. How do you know Arkham?” he demanded. “ And if you met him, how are you still alive to pester me?”

“Notably, you haven't given me reason to tell you anything.”

He turned his incredulous face, and his gun, back to her. She placed her hand over the muzzle. The two of them simply stared, demanding, denying. A game of chicken in which both participants were a touch off-kilter.

“Fine, then who are you?”

“Helix. And I'll tell you right now Puzzles, if you don't stop pointing that gun at me, I'll chuck this box out the window!”

He lowered the weapon reluctantly.

“I see my reputation precedes me. Heard about you too. I must say, I expected you to be less pathetic.”

“You didn't need to 'must say' that. But if it makes any difference...you reminded me of someone I never thought I'd see again, and I wasn't prepared  for it.”

“Sounds like a you problem.” he took the strongbox from her lap and tossed it into the backseat. “But why didn't you lead with any of this? That you knew who I am, that you presumably knew others? Why tergiversate to your own detriment like that?”

“Notably-”

Puzzles pulled over and shoved her out of the car.

Artist: Me

Artist: Verticalthoughts (deactivated)

Artist: @cardwrecks​

[robthegoodfellow]

I was thinking about Billy and Max and how an abusive parent can affect sibling relationships and then I just so happened to scroll past a post about Zuko and Azula because tumblr knows my love for AtLA will never die.

What follows are some rambling thoughts fueled by an amount of wine.

Aside from the sudden need for an AU wherein Billy and Max are fire-benders, the parallels really struck me: how both Billy and Zuko were belittled, verbally/physically abused by their fathers in ways that made them feel like outcasts in their own families, that pushed them to hone their bodies into something that would lend them power, that led to their lashing out against others (Neil sending Billy out to find Max is a miniature version of Ozai banishing Zuko to find the Avatar). And then I thought of how their mothers abandoned them in abusive households. The only difference is Zuko had Iroh (and writers with souls. and brains), whereas Billy had no one (and shitty ass writers).

It’s been explored by others more effectively how Max showed signs of mimicking the abusive tactics she observed at home and used them against Billy in the fight scene in season 2, and that reminded me of how Azula perpetuated Ozai’s abuse of Zuko (obviously to a way more extreme degree). But then it made me rethink some assumptions I’d been making about Max… like Azula, she’s blunt and outwardly confident (or at least… abrasive?? which can read similarly!) when we meet her in season 2, using sarcasm/insults as her main mode of interacting with peers. And she’s a tomboy, seeming to reject “girly” hobbies and style of dress in favor of “boyish” ones… and if you compare those traits to Azula, and consider why Azula embraced and honed particular traits, it opens up the potential for a different read on Max.

A lot of people assume Max would have gotten flack at home for not being girly enough. But what if the traits we see in Max are ones that Neil had a hand in fostering, both by being a snide jerk role model himself, but also because Neil is a misogynist. (Like Ozai, he throws his weight around with his wives, demanding obedience and submission via sadistic assholery) Because there’s a reason why “girl power” trends of the 80s/90s involved girls/women acting more like boys/men, up to and including padding the shoulders of their powersuits to look like a linebacker... and it’s because femininity was perceived as weak and inferior. In that sense, it would track that Neil would approve of Max being a tomboy and being assertive and being snide… because Neil disdains anything feminine. Max being a tomboy is therefore good, but Billy exhibiting any weak or “girly” behaviors is cause for mockery and insults. Max is rocking that internalized misogyny that tells her she’s not like other girls, and Neil would have undersigned that shit.

JUST LIKE AZULA. Ozai groomed her to be just like him.

Max tells Lucas in season 2 that she doesn’t want to be like Billy. And that line hits a bit different when you consider the possible effect that Neil may have had on her perceptions of Billy and herself. That in order to occupy a position of power, you must act like Neil, or how Neil approves of… and whatever you do, don’t be like Billy.

But of course this only applies to season 2, because as usual, there’s approximately -5 continuity between seasons re: character development. (see: steve. robin. eleven. the other people)

[clumsy-jiminie]

ghost | pjm

↠ a one shot in which you haunt park jimin’s mind at night. ↞

◦ pairing :: park jimin x female reader

◦ rating :: pg13

◦ genre :: angst, some plot

◦ word count :: 2.5k

◦ warnings :: two ships passing in the wind, cigarettes, slight smoking

◦ song rec :: ghost - justin bieber

◦ masterlist

↠ notes // this is my first attempt at an angst like one shot with little plot. the lyrics of ghost by justin bieber kept popping into my mind with this one. there may be some potential for a pt 2?? but i’m not too sure yet. anyway, enjoy! 💖

all rights reserved © clumsy-jiminie 2021

“Ah, baby, don’t stop.” A woman moaned as Jimin continued to plow into her repeatedly. The room drowned in her cries and whimpers of pleasure as he buried his face well into the crook of her neck. Their sweat-coated bodies slid past each other in ecstasy as the two reached their climax. Moans were replaced by faint panting exchanged between the two.

He moved himself to the edge of the bed, sitting for just a second before leaning over and reaching into his nightstand. He felt the gentle hand of his lover on his back as he stuck an unlit cigarette between his plump pink lips.

He knew she was going to drift off to sleep soon enough, leaving him with nothing but his thoughts. After lighting, he took a long drag. The fumes filled every corner of his lungs until releasing the grey smoke into the air.

There was a void in him, a gaping black hole that mindlessly consumed everything he offered it. From money to women, even the attempt of a nicotine addiction didn’t help.

There was nothing that could fill the void that wasn’t you.

Four years of short-term relationships, one-night stands, and drug benders couldn’t hold a flame to you. It seemed as nothing could replace you.

So, nights like this became common. Nights where a woman he had no care for fell asleep in his bed while he stayed up. Mind heavy and completely consumed of memories that were fading due to time. He should’ve been used to it, but it was notably strong tonight.

The ghost of you was haunting him. Images of your smile played before his eyes like a projector, your puffed cheeks, and crinkled eyes were etched into his head. The sounds of your contagious giggles echoed through his ears as if you were physically there. The pressure of your body pressed to him; how you fit into him like a missing puzzle piece.

Missing you at this point was an understatement.

He didn’t realize he let his cigarette burn out halfway at this point. Sucking his teeth softly at waste, he leaned over to put it out with the others in the ashtray. On nights like this, a walk typically did the trick. He threw on whatever was nearest to him before a shuffle in the bed stopped him in his tracks.

“Where are you going?”

“Just to 7-Eleven.” He lied. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

There was some silence before a faint hum, indicating his lover returned to slumber.

The late autumn air nipped at Jimin’s skin, making him regret not dressing in warmer clothing. He could hear you nagging already, saying that he was going to catch a cold if he kept walking out like this. That you weren’t going to take care of him if he got sick. But you did. You always did.

He stuck his hands in his hoodie pocket, intertwining his fingers in the hope his body heat would keep him warm. He continued to walk, with no room for a destination because of how you crowded his mind, just letting his feet guide him. He glanced up for a moment, taking in the silhouette of the trees.

He heard a slight crunch from the ground, making him stop. He looked down, realizing he stepped on a particular crunchy leaf. The corners of his lips tugged into a small smile. You would’ve loved this. You made sure to go out your way to step on whatever leaf looked the “crunchiest”. The sound satisfied you.

A breeze nipped at him again, reminding him why he was out on this walk in the first place. If there was a way to permanently stop you from living in his mind, he would take it the first chance he got. At least that’s what he would say if he were sane. Craving someone this much couldn’t be healthy.

Jimin glanced at his surroundings briefly, his body now physically shivering due to losing the war with the weather. The sickeningly bright lights of a local 7-Eleven were inviting, plus the thought of some warm ramen in his stomach excited him. He lightly jogged towards the building.

Once inside, he let out a breath of relief. The heat was already beginning to warm him up. He searched amongst the aisles, stopping in front of a vast collection of soup and noodles. He reached out to grab his favorite before turning on his heels, heading towards the cash registers.

“Jimin?”

He stopped for a second. That sounded too real to be a memory. Maybe it was time to schedule an appointment with a therapist. Just as he was about to take another step, he heard his name again. Concerned now, he turned towards the direction of the voice.

His heart almost stopped in his chest.

There you were, in the flesh. A wide smile grew on your lips as your eyes met. The same image that appeared in his memory earlier, now physically in front of him. But it couldn’t have been.

“Y/N.” He exhaled as if he was holding in his breath this whole time.

You let out a small giggle, absolute music to his ears. Without even thinking, you walked towards him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You pulled him into a tight embrace.

He hesitated at first, still unable to believe that you were here. But once he felt your warmth and the faint scent of vanilla that entered his nostrils, he wrapped his arms around your waist.

He finally felt whole.

You pulled away from him a little, just enough for your gaze to rest on him once again. He couldn’t believe how amazing you looked. You didn’t even age a day, almost making him forget four whole years went by.

“You look…, incredible.” He stuttered a little, his cheeks flushing a slight pink due to that primarily being an inside thought.

The smile on your lips only grew, finding it slightly amusing that you could still make him this flustered. Your hand rested on his cheek for a moment. “And you look like absolute shit.”

To be insulted by you with the biggest smile on your face was one of the highest achievements. It was a poke at the sarcastic nature your relationship had in the beginning before any feelings were involved. And by god, did he miss it.

Just like you missed his eyes that formed into half crescents as his lips curled into a genuine smile. The way he looked at you with such fondness, as the world around you could be caving in, and he would not care one bit.

He chuckled softly, the first genuine chuckle in months. Despite wanting to hold you in his arms, he remembered where you were. He reluctantly let you go, only taking a step back to allow some space between you, but not too much. You were back, and even if it was only for a moment, he wasn’t going to let you go again.

“How was New York?”

“Oh, it was wonderful.” You said. You began to go on about your travels to the state. How small and expensive your apartment was, how beautiful the city looked at night, how you could walk a block and get at least four different cultures of food. And how he would’ve loved it there.

He nodded and listened to your every word, watching how your eyes lit up at the mention of nailing the position in your dream career. The smile on his face grew with each word that you said. Seeing you this way was worth letting you go.

“How are you, though?”

He happily drowned in your eyes, letting himself succumb to the various hues that swirled and mixed in them. He didn’t realize you asked a question until he noticed your brows furrowing together and your head tilting to the right a little.

“Oh!” He said once he understood that it was his turn to speak. “Oh, you know. Same old stuff, nothing has really changed.”

Besides fact that he missed you every single day that you were gone and his subconscious wouldn’t let him forget.

You nodded along, your smile fading while feeling somewhat disappointed that he didn’t seem to miss you as you did him. But it would make sense, it has been years after all, and you knew his flirty nature wouldn’t keep him single for long.

“Are you here to stay?” He finally asked the question that has been scratching at his soul since the second he laid eyes on you. He was praying that it was a yes, followed by an I miss you and ending with you both growing old together.

“Yes. I got an apartment not too far from here.”

All of this seemed too good to be true. Was this the reason why he couldn’t stop thinking of you? All because you were physically in the same town as him. Your souls brought you both to this random 7-Eleven at 2 in the morning.

“That’s great.” His eyes glanced at the floor for a second before returning to you. He chewed on his bottom lip, a little habit he developed whenever he felt anxious. “So, um, would you like to grab drinks one night?”

He felt so nervous like he was asking you out for the first time again. He subconsciously fumbled around with the bowl of ramen that was in his hands, glancing down at it often to avoid getting lost in you once more.

“There’s this bar that Taehyung actually opened up, and I know how you love—.”

“My love, which one was your favorite again?”

A deep voice pulled you out of the little bubble you and Jimin were residing in. Both startled, you looked towards the man.

Handsome.

That was the first word he thought when he saw the man’s face. Even though he was dressed down like Jimin, his facial features were impeccable. Round framed glasses sat on his straight nose while his big eyes stared down at two bags of candy in his hands. His lips were rose-shaded and plump, just like Jimin’s.

The man looked at the two, instantly getting the feeling he was interrupting something. As he walked over, his eyes scanned over Jimin’s stature.

“Oh, um,” you stuttered, feeling suddenly flustered. Both men looked at you, both awaiting an answer to their silent questions.

“This is Seokjin, my boyfriend.”

Was it possible for a heart to break twice? Or maybe the first time it never truly broke.

Jimin couldn’t even conjure up a sentence, his head swirling with the word boyfriend. He clearly remembered one thing he asked for you to do when you left, and you didn’t even try to keep that promise.

“Jin, this is my, um, friend Jimin.”

Friend?

Now he was just a friend.

Like you two didn’t have the best 8-month relationship, ultimately ending because you wanted to follow your dreams, and Jimin was in no position to stop you.

Jimin raised an eyebrow slightly at the word, eyes dancing between you and Jin as he tried to fight his petty nature.

“Nice to meet you, man,” Jin said, effortlessly dismissing Jimin as he wasn’t a factor. His eyes then shot down at the bags of candy in his hands.

“Yeah, so, as we were saying. I would love to get that drink and catch up.” You decided to finish your conversation with Jimin, not wanting to stay in this situation a second longer.

“You sure that would be ok with your boyfriend?” Jimin couldn’t help himself. His words came off as more passive-aggressive than concerned. First boyfriend, then a friend. He masked his hurt with anger.

Your upper lip twitched for a second when you noticed Jimin’s tone. You had to stop yourself from making a snarky remark. Old habits die hard, and you were clearly in no position to be arguing back.

“Yes, it’s fine.” You quickly said before Jin even got the second to answer. You dug around in your purse before pulling out a paper and a pen. You jotted down your number and handed it to Jimin.

He hesitated for a moment before taking it, shoving it in his pocket after. He looked over at Jin, who was still studying the candy. He rolled his eyes, not understanding how someone who’s your boyfriend didn’t know which was your favorite between the two. It wasn’t even that hard of a guess. Jimin could pick it out with his eyes closed.

He had to memorize it, after all. That was your go-to whenever you were happy, sad, or even on your period. There were constant runs to a 7-Eleven just like this one to keep the candy stocked. Sure, back then, it was a nuisance; waking up at 2-3 in the morning to get your fill. But now, he would see it as a fond memory because of the pure joy on your face when you finally got that sour gummy in your mouth. The hummed thank you, and not to forget the tangy kisses that always followed afterward.

“It’s this one.” He pointed to one of the bags. “And if you could get it in blue raspberry, that would be the best.”

Jin looked at Jimin, offering him a smile. “Thanks! You ready, my love?” He asked while looking down at you.

Your gaze didn’t leave Jimin’s. You weren’t ready. You didn’t want to leave the moment like this. You could see the pain flicker in Jimin’s eyes before he evaded you. Why couldn’t the timing be right for you guys? You didn’t expect to see him so soon, and certainly not while you were out with someone who was a poor attempt at replacing him.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” You said softly. You paid then walked towards the exit, glancing back at Jimin, who was now at the register himself. Your eyes met, even though it pained him to see you with Jin. He didn’t want to look, but he couldn’t help it. He craved you.

Jin called out your name, urging you to come along. After another moment, you had to fight yourself to look away from Jimin’s gaze. You followed after Jin reluctantly. You knew exactly where your home was, and you left it back in the store.

Jimin let out a deep sigh. He added a case of beer to his purchase, which he was probably going to finish tonight after the events that just took place. The hole inside of him grew twice as big. He regretted going on this walk in the first place, cursing whoever was up there playing cruel tricks on him and his heart.

He wasn’t even angry, just hurt. He had no right to feel hurt or betrayed. He participated in relationships after you left. He couldn’t expect you to be single the whole time. But he didn’t anticipate for you to bring whoever you met back home.

Maybe, there was a chance that you were happy with this Seokjin guy. Maybe he didn’t have as much of a temper as Jimin. Maybe he wasn’t as sassy, or slick-tongued as him. Maybe you’ve matured, and quick-witted comebacks have been outgrown.

Maybe it was for the best. Perhaps, this is what fate intended, and your souls weren’t two pieces of the same puzzle. The time that you both had shared was all you were meant, and seeing you there was just a coincidence.

It was back to settling for the ghost of you.

[charleslucid]

Okay listen for the harringrove avatar au I just want to say that Steve would definitely be a water bender but I feel billy would be more complicated.

His mother is/was definitely a water bender and his father is a fire bender.

And I’ve watched Avatar though I don’t know if this is possible.

What if he was both a water bender and fire bender. It’s definitely a secret because he doesn’t want Neil to know. Since y’know he hates Billy’s mother. But he just occasionally practices water bending because he wants to stay close to his mother. But even though he practices it just a little he’s fucking awesome at it.

I don’t know if it’s just the avatar that can bend multiple elements ( eleven would be the avatar of course ) but I feel like it would fit Billy.

Then you’ve got one say Steve is just hanging out in some random town because he’s taking a break from home for a little and he meets Billy. An asshole fire bender who acts like he owns the place. He’s also really fucking hot. And that’s what Steve labels him as for a little.

Steve manages to befriend some kids from the village. Dustin ( earth bender ), Lucas ( earth bender), Will ( Air bender ), Mike ( earth bender ), and finally max ( fire bender ) who he learns is Billy’s step sister. They also find El in like a block of ice like aang or something like that. I dunno.

I picture Steve one night just kinda roaming around because he can’t sleep, and he makes his way through a little patch of woods to find Billy water bending. And he’s like really confused because he didn’t think people could bend two elements (I don’t either lol). And so he just watches.

I also want to mention that Billy would have fucking burn scars all over, like everywhere except his face and neck.

This is just a concept that I might or might not work on. Feel free to use it because it’s a low possibility I’ll write anything on it

[fucknathanieljacobs]

Nate Jacobs, Little Boy Lost.

An overwhelming calm crept over the shadows of Nate Jacob’s bedroom, slithering into every corner, every crevice, blanketing the air like a heavy, crippling weight as he lay upon his back, fixating his gaze to a particular swatch of peeling paint that had somehow become painfully obvious to his keen eye despite the surrounding darkness.

There was nothing comforting about this calmness, this stillness that seemed to stop the flow of time between the four walls of this generic bedroom of a high school quarterback, the only decor being trophies of past victories that seemed to blur together, insignificant and nearly meaningless in the hindsight of it all. No, this was an ominous tranquility, as if a soft, uneasy whisper was rising up from beneath the silence to hint that it was all just beginning.

"Nathaniel, your whole fucking life's a secret. A mystery."

His father’s targeted words shouted so pointedly amidst the slurred speech of his drunken bender as his brawny frame swayed upon the perfectly manicured stairwell of the Jacobs household a mere hour before scraped continuously at the back of Nate’s mind like a dulling knife, looping, clawing against the confines of his sanity. As his thoughts began to spiral, his calloused hands tugged upon the fabric of the sheet beneath him, balling his knuckles into tight, tense fists.

"Who knows about you? I have lived with you. I have raised you, I am your father. I know nothing about you. That's not true, I know that you're angry."

How dare his father not see that this emptiness, this vacancy of youth, of substance, had been bred and perpetuated by his own doing. How dare he speak of freedom from a life he felt so burdened by without taking ownership of ruining his son. He had raised a little boy lost; so devoid of affection and true guidance that the only remainder of humanity in his pivotal transition into manhood was too far cloaked in layers of trauma and ever present anger to truly surface. In his isolated quiet, Nate tried to source his memories for before the numbness set in, before the day to day auto piloting and emotional emulation became his normal behavior, perhaps a time of innocence that hadn’t been filled with faux laughter and forced smiles. Did those moments ever truly exist for him or were they only displayed in media he consumed, this unattainable idea of a healthy, doting family dedicated to the wellbeing of their children. His father had even managed to rob him of the potential concept of family trauma bonding; a moment that could have perhaps mended any possibility of a family environment finally without the presence of his father, an aspect of mutual affection that could be shared in the wake of his emotional destruction but, no. Nate had already known his father’s secret, a secret he had kept locked tight for seven years that wreaked such havoc and developmental destruction upon his adolescence that he had dissociated from forming any concrete personality just to keep, his sacrifice amounting to absolutely nothing now that his paternal figure was so carelessly choosing to scream about his closeted queerness in the foyer, hardly scratching the surface of the loaded layers behind his confession. Within his ramblings, his drunken narcissistic father failed to mention his graphic collection of homemade, male centric, violent pornography with predominately underage teens Nate found as a mere eleven year old child, but no, why would he focus on how he threatened his own son into silent submission, leaving behind a vacant shell of a blooming boy, when he could instead victimize himself in his self inflicted chaos and once again inform Nate that it was his son’s fault for not allowing him in.

Interlacing between the echo of his father’s slurred speech was the voice of his ex-girlfriend, his Maddy, the words bouncing off a moonlit memory from the night before as she asked in earnest if he’d ever felt loved by her, the whites of her puppy dog eyes searching his stoic demeanor for any ounce of true emotion to cling onto. “I don’t know” he remembered responding, his gaze fluttering closed momentarily, tearing away from the peeling paint as his gut wrenched upon the most honest moment he allowed himself to have in recent memory. How could he possibly know love? There had been no love within his father’s insatiable desire for violence or the distance his mother put between her and the bouncing baby sociopath she knew they’d inevitably bring into the world their second time around. He searched so desperately to know even the smallest aspect that breathed hope into the sensation of love. He could almost see the brightness of love dancing upon the golden strands of Cassie Howard’s hair when sunlight trickled delicately through the blinds in the early hours of morning. He could almost feel the heavy pang of heartache attempting to break through when Maddy’s tough exterior had cracked before him in utter desperation to save any remainder of their relationship. There were seconds where his heart began to beat faster and slower all at once but as quickly as the sensation came on, it seemed to be ripped away.

A muffled buzzing abruptly vibrated upon the wood of Nate’s bed-side table marking the first sign of life for hours that penetrated the darkness of his bedroom. Almost in a reflex, Nate’s right hand immediately shot up, clutching the vibrating device, swiftly throwing it across the room where he lay, a loud huf accompanying his violence, his body jolting upward and forward, as he watched it land safely in one piece near the doorway. He couldn’t even destroy a Goddamn phone when his father had so effortlessly destroyed an entire family.

In a sudden burst of aggression, Nate allowed his lips to part in a scream, a piercing yell that came from the depth of his belly and rose the veins of his neck to the surface, his flesh immediately turning rosy with his rage. A large breath to catch his anger followed as he threw his muscular frame back upon the mattress, another full body scream piercing the air as he rocked his figure forward and backward continuously slamming himself upon his queen sized bed. Feel something, you fucking asshole. His subconscious screamed. Feel fucking anything.

[melzula]

I loved your kya’s daughter hcs! Could you maybe elaborate more on her relationship with iroh 2?

a/n: this is more of like, background hc’s about how they meet and end up together but if you guys want me to actually write a piece about them let me know!

*based off of these hc’s

Kya first sent you to start training with Lord Zuko when you were five. Being a water bender, she could only keep up with your bending for so long before she had to get you a proper instructor

Training you was quite a challenge for Zuko due to the fact that already your bending had begun to take on a unique form. There were no fire bending techniques at all in your bending, but rather water and air, so it would take some time for him to get your bending on track and in control

Because of this, he offered to have you and your mother stay at the palace while you completed your training

And that’s how you soon became introduced to his grandson Iroh

There wasn’t any attraction when you first met, what with you being five and Iroh already being eleven and a half at that point. But he was always so kind to you and took you to the best parts of the palace to play

He also helped with your training, practicing with you and showing you all that he knew. If a session was particularly rougher than usual he would always make sure to patch you up and reward your efforts with a treat that he may or may not have swiped from the kitchen

He became a friend and somewhat of a protector to you, and you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t developed a silly little childhood crush on him. He was very handsome after all and strong, but it was purely innocent and part of your adolescence

You spend five years training with Zuko and alongside Iroh. By the end of it you’re one of the strongest benders he’s ever encountered. The different bending forms paired with your strength and agility make you a worthy opponent, and there were a handful of times where you even bested his grandson during your sparring sessions

However, now that you’ve completed your bending it’s time to return home before continuing your travels around the world with your mother

You make sure to give Zuko a big hug, thanking him for all that he’s done for you and expressing your gratitude for training you

Saying goodbye to Iroh is a little harder. You’ve gotten so used to being around him that it’s going to be difficult adjusting to his absence, but he assures you he will always be there if you need him and that you’re always welcome to come back and visit him. You depart with a hug and a promise to see each other again soon

Traveling the world makes it easier to forget how much you miss the Prince, and you actually date a few other men (and women if you’re interested) while you’re abroad.

You stay out a bit longer than Kya does, but at the age of twenty five you decide it’s time to return home and join your mother and your Gran Gran in the south

It’s nice to see your family again and have the support you’ve been missing while away, though you feel somewhat out of sorts being a fire bender living in the southern water tribe. It takes some adjusting

Eventually Uncle Bumi comes by for a quick visit which you are absolutely thrilled about because you love your Uncle Bumi! He’s making a stop during his journey to the Fire Nation to meet up with Iroh to discuss some important General stuff

He invites you to come along with him for a fun trip and after making sure your mother and Gran Gran will be okay you accept the offer

You have to admit you’re a bit nervous about seeing him again, you were both kids still the last time you’d been together and you’re not sure what to expect now

The long awaited reunion is very exciting though very emotional after being away from your childhood friend for so long. Spirits, he’s even more handsome now, and that little childhood crush easily manages to sneak back in now that you’re together again

“Y/n! I almost didn’t recognize you,” Iroh smiles, pulling you in for a very tight hug. You’ve blossomed into a very beautiful woman, now all grown up and living your own life of adventure, and he couldn’t ignore the fact that your beauty nearly made him breathless

You both find yourselves spending much of your time together, walking through the palace gardens or out in the market place. You make a handsome pair, something Bumi, Zuko, and Izumi all notice right away

It’s under the moonlight by the fountain that you share your first kiss. You can’t deny the attraction any longer, you’ve fallen in love with your childhood playmate

You spend a year together before Iroh decides he’s ready to propose. He does make sure to get the blessings of Kya, Katara, Bumi, and Tenzin before proceeding because he knows how important they are to you

Though you’re a fire bender you grew up with water tribe culture, so Kya and Katara do help him craft the perfect betrothal necklace for you

The wedding is intimate and simple, held at the palace and officiated by Fire Lord Izumi where all your friends and family come to watch

Zuko and Katara are thrilled at the fact that their grandchildren are married, and Katara can’t help but wish Aang were there to see

By the time of Book 1 Iroh is 36 and you’re 29. You’ve been married for about three years and have a beautiful one year old daughter named Tara, a reference to your grandmother’s own name

By the end of Book 3 I imagine you’d be expecting again, and though your Uncle is desperately hoping for a Bumi the third, you end up giving birth to another beautiful girl whom you name Azula, in honor of the great aunt Iroh never really got to know. Perhaps having a daughter named after Zuko’s estranged sister will bring a new hope and light to the name

It took you both a while to find each other and for the time to be right for you to actually end up together, but Iroh knows he would have waited a whole lifetime if it meant you’d be his wife by the end of it. Neither of you ever expected to fall for your childhood companion, but you wouldn’t have it any other way

[not-all-dead]

angstpril day twenty: the silent treatment

CW: mentions of a breakup but that’s pretty much the worst of it

fic under the cut

November 3rd, 142

Lin,

Mom made me promise I’d write to you, so here’s me doing that. Grandma and Grandpa say hi, and they want you to visit soon. School’s boring as ever and I have no friends here which is just great. Thanks for that. At least they have good food here, the chef is pretty amazing. Still, I think I’m going to run away soon, just for the sake of it. Maybe I’ll find a family actually worth keeping. Anyway, I don’t miss you or mom, have fun arresting people or whatever.

Su

February 7th, 143

Lin,

Heard you’re chief now. Congrats I guess. Does mom finally pay attention to you? Who am I kidding, of course she doesn’t. Anyway, I left Grandma and Grandpa’s. I’m part of this cool travelling circus right now, but I think I’m going to try something new soon. It’s been fun though, lots of flying through the air above lava pits and other super dangerous things. I bet I’m having a better time than you are, stuck in the stupid city.

I call Grandma every week or two to keep her updated on what I’m doing, otherwise she’ll freak out and think I’m dead or something. She told me today that mom called her yesterday. Mom said she was going to Gaoling to drop off her things before travelling wherever just like I’m doing. Guess I have more in common with her than I thought. I also guess that means you’ve got the apartment to yourself now, must be nice.

How’s Tenzin? You two still madly in love? Actually, don’t tell me, I don’t really care. Not that you’re going to respond to this at all. Whatever. I’ve got a performance to get to, so bye.

Su

December 19th, 145

Lin,

I wish you’d write back. I’m much older now, and I’d be happy to talk things out with you if you’d respond. But I guess that’s something you have to want too, and clearly you still hate me, so I won’t count on it.

I know I haven’t written in a while. I was on a pirate ship for a while, learning to sail and such, and we didn’t dock often. Any paper we had on board was constantly damp, too, so I didn’t see the point. After that I live in a sandbender commune. It was really interesting to see how different people lived, especially different earthbenders. I tried learning to sandbend but it didn’t go so well.

But that’s all past now. I’m building a city now, a city entirely of metal. I’ve got this wonderful architect named Baatar helping me with it, and thank goodness I do. I honestly don’t know how I’d execute my plans without him. I think I might ask him to marry me. I mean, I really do like him, and the idea of a family sounds so nice. If I did I’d really like for you to be there.

I hope everything in the city is alright. Last time I spoke to mom, a couple years ago now, she said you were still going steady with Tenzin. I don’t know how you two have stayed together this long already, you always seemed so different from one another to me. I guess opposites really do attract, as they always say. I’ll write again soon.

Su

April 2nd, 146

Lin,

It would mean the world to me if you could make it. Please come if you can, I’d really like to see you again.

Su

March 27th, 147

Lin,

You have a nephew! I was bummed that you didn’t come to the wedding, but it’s alright. Maybe you’d like to come and meet Baatar Jr. sometime this year… we’d welcome you here in Zaofu if you did. We’re still working on building up the outer cities, but the central hub where our house is is fully operational. I’d love to show you how it all works, we have metalbender staff in training to operate practically every part of the city. It’s a busy time, with the new baby and all the construction.

Please tell me you and your airhead of a boyfriend are getting married soon. I mean, come on! It’s been ten years already, I don’t see how you can possibly still be “taking it slow”. You make no sense to me sometimes, Lin. But then again, I’m sure you feel the same about me.

Mom’s been visiting Zaofu pretty regularly. She’s coming in next week to meet Baatar Jr. for the first time. She still seems to be holding a grudge against me. You two really are cut from the same cloth, you know. I might try to talk things out with her when she comes this time, or at least set a time sometime soon for us to flush things over. It would be great if you’d come too so we could put all this family drama nonsense behind us.

Su

May 30th, 150

Lin,

I’m disappointed that you still refuse to answer. Honestly, mom and I have spent two years talking and figuring things out. We’re good now, and there were plenty of opportunities we gave you to join us. I’m sorry you’re still so bitter.

Baatar Jr. is three now, you’d know if you ever cared to visit. He hasn’t shown any signs of bending yet, but Baatar is a non-bender and I started bending late so that’s not too surprising. We’ve got another one on the way, due in a couple weeks actually. I think if it’s a boy we’ll name him Huan, and if it’s a girl probably Hei-Ran. Again, I wish you’d come and actually be a part of my kids’ lives, but you seem dead set against it.

Kya actually dropped by not too long ago. I hadn’t seen her in ages, so it was a nice surprise. She says her travels have been going well, and she’d visited practically every place on the planet! I loved my time travelling, but ultimately family life is what suited me best. She said she was heading back to Republic City soon, so maybe she’ll drop in on you, too. Anyway, hope the triads aren’t causing too too much havoc for you, Chief.

Su

January 16th, 151

Lin,

Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ve given up. If you’re really that set on giving me the cold shoulder, so be it. I’ll stop writing at all.

Sorry you’re not mature enough to handle this like an adult.

If you were wondering, Huan is very healthy and strong. Baatar Jr. too. Baatar Sr. took ill a while back, but he’s alright now.

I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this when I know you don’t care. Well. Sorry I’m such a bother to you.

Su

August 4th, 156

Lin,

Mom told me what happened with you and Tenzin. He’s an asshole, good on you for wrecking the island. You were always too good for him anyway. I know I haven’t written in a long time, I just didn’t see the point if you kept ignoring me. Maybe now you’ll come and see your family, it might be nice after losing Tenzin.

You’ve got a niece, now, too. And four nephews, the youngest being the twins. They’re only just over a year old now, and Opal recently turned three. I tell them stories about their Aunt Lin, you know. The older boys would really like to meet you, and I’m sure Opal and the twins will too when they’re a little bit more grown up. I want to see you again too, Lin, and I wish you’d at least try to let go of the past. Even just a letter back would make my day.

Hope you’re holding up as Chief there, not too much trouble with the triads or whomever else is committing crime these days.

Su

November 7th, 158

Lin,

Baatar Jr. is now eleven, and seems to be quite the budding architect just like his father. Huan has taken up metalbending little sculptures, so for his eighth birthday he got a little studio just for his art. Opal is five now, and growing up fast. I’ve never seen a five year old read as well as she does. Wing and Wei are still just three, but they seem to enjoy throwing pebbles at one another. I think they’ll be strong benders when they're older.

Mom and I finally made up properly. It’s nice to see her with the kids. She said she wrote to you asking you to come and chat too, but you ignored her. No surprises there. I might stop writing again if you keep this up, so don’t act shocked.

Su

October 21st, 160

Lin,

Mom’s here for a few weeks. Opal turned seven this year, Baatar Jr. thirteen, Huan ten, and the twins five. Wing and Wei invented a game for themselves to help with their metalbending training, they call it “power disk”.

I’m not sure what else to say to you anymore. I’m not sure why I’m even writing this now, after eighteen years. Eighteen years, Lin, and you haven’t even bothered to write back. At least I’ve tried to reach out. But now, I’m done. For real this time. Write if you want, I don’t care. I’m not going to keep sending these anymore.

Su

December 6th, 170

Lin,

Are you alright?! Mom had to tell me about you losing your bending, and she only found out through Katara! I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like. All I can say is that it would undoubtedly be awful.

I miss you, you know. It’s been almost thirty years since we last spoke. I know mom misses you too, and my kids would really like to meet their Aunt. It makes me sad that you’re still so sour about what happened, even after so much time has passed. We’ve both grown and changed as people, and I don’t understand why you can’t see that. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s only me who’s changed at all. Even so, I do miss you, and I wish you’d write. Or visit.

I hope you’re alright, Lin, I really do.

Su

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Can’t Lose You

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

Summary: Y/N, a servant in the palace, and Zuko, the prince of the Fire Nation, never should have been allowed to be friends growing up but after three years, things have changed for the both of them. 

Warnings: Descriptions of burns/ injuries (the scene where Ozai burns Zuko)

Word Count: 7300 (it’s a long one y’all)

A/N: I know that they never once mention cards in A:TLA but I had a hard time figuring out how to do the scene with Azula with something like Pai Sho pieces. 

Part 2 out now! Can’t Get Rid Of Me

________________________________

It was a beautiful day on Ember Island, with the sun shining brightly, the waves crashing in beautiful roars, and the lizard-birds cawing overhead. The sun warmed your skin as you carried your basket full of blown glass beaded jewelry into the marketplace, small glass orbs of every color swishing around like liquid almost in the woven basket. The normal crowd bustled around you in three categories: 1) The Rich Kids: These were the teenagers whose parents were generals or socialites in the Fire Nation military. They were either here on vacation or enjoyed living in an exotic place. Their lives revolved around partying, shopping, and drinking. 2) The Merchants and Artisans: Another set of locals, just much less affluent than the former group. These were the people who lived on Ember Island full time and were the only reason things ran. They provided services from cooking to clothing to furniture. 3) The Tourists: These were the citizens from the mainland that came to Ember Island to take in the sights and relax. You were a part of the second of these categories. 

Creating glass beads was never something you saw yourself doing. Especially not several years ago. Artisanal work was something that seemed so far out of anything you could do. See, you’d grown up in the palace… sort of. Your parents had been servants in the palace prior to your birth which led you to a life of servitude yourself. 

It was a miserable life no matter how much your parents insisted it was better than living in one of the poorer villages outside of the palace, where people were treated like they were from other nations. Every day from the age of eleven, you’d been bossed around by anyone who had a title. “Get me water!” “Get me food!” “Wash my clothes!” “Make my bed!” You were nothing. Most of the time, they didn’t even use your name. Most of them didn’t even know your name. But that wasn’t even the worst of it because there was always Azula. 

**

The sun shone brightly in the little courtyard full of flowers and the little pond with turtle ducks that you and Zuko loved to play with. Zuko had been your best friend since his mother had allowed you to play with the royal children. Both of your parents were servants in the palace and, in the early years of your life, you were too young to work around the castle when you weren't in school. When Ursa found out, she insisted that you play with Zuko, Azusa, Mai, and Ty Lee, despite Ozai's insistence that his children should not associate with people below them. It was the one debate that Ursa ever seemed to win.  

Despite her victory though, it didn't mean that your 'play dates' were much fun. At first, you gravitated towards Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai, as they were the girls and who Ursa first introduced you to with the assumption you guys would be friends. While Mai and Ty Lee both loved you and treated you well, Azula took after her father and treated you like scum. She'd feign niceties and then turn on you and do horrible things. She treated Zuko very similarly so the two of you bonded over your mutual dislike of his sister. 

The two of you became best friends and did everything together. You ran around the halls of the palace but always made sure to hide away from Ozai, fearing he'd do something to you or your parents if he found you with his son. Although nothing was outright romantic between the two of you, Ursa saw the little sparks between you two when she was with you. She noticed the way your guys' little cheeks would burn red if your hands accidentally touched or saw the way your gazes would linger a little longer on each other when the other looked away. Unlike her husband, she had no problem with your little unspoken crushes. Thankfully, Ozai was never involved in his children's personal lives much anyways so he didn't notice but it wasn't long until Azula caught on. 

She would corner you and pretend to want to have "girl talk" about boys and crushes. It was never long until she brought up her brother. "I know you like Zuko. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I think it's cute that you think you have a chance. But you know he's a prince right? And even though you get to play royals with us, he could never marry someone of such low class." Even at ten years old, her words stung. You'd always had little fantasies that maybe he'd sweep you away from your predestined life of servitude one day. He didn't even have to sweep you away to a life of royalty, you just wanted him to sweep you away to anywhere. But maybe Azula was right. Zuko was royalty and you were far from it. 

So your friendship continued for the next several years until his banishment. In secret, he taught you firebending from a young age. As a servant, it didn't matter much if you were a firebender, you didn't get training because your parents neither had the money or the time nor were either benders. He taught you the basic moves and, though he wasn't as skilled as his sister, you were greatly appreciative of his teaching and actually knew almost as much as he did.

One day, just days after your eleventh birthday, you and Zuko sat at the edge of the pond, trying to oure turtle ducklings to you with pieces of bread. "I've almost got him!" Zuko whispered excitedly, the baby duck only two or three feet away. 

You couldn't wait to pet him! They were so soft when they were ducklings! 

"Hey, Y/N! Come here!" Azula called from across the grass field. You stood up and looked cautiously at her, already distrusting all of her motives. 

"Why?" You asked skeptically. 

Her eyebrows furrowed, "My mother may let you play with us but I am still a princess and you obey me! Besides, it's just a card trick." Azula's personality switched quickly, which scared you as a young child, but after a quick look of fear to Zuko, you walked over. 

Mai and Ty Lee stood back, both watching as you came over to their group and leaned down to look at the cards Azula lied on the rock. "What's the trick?" You asked, hoping she really did just have a magic trick. 

She sprawled them out, "Pick one and look at it but don't show me. You can show them though." She waved her hand to her other friends as if they didn't actually matter. Without much thought, you picked one that was buried slightly and looked at it. 8 of diamonds. 

"Now put it anywhere in the deck." You did as she instructed and handed her back the deck. She closed her eyes tightly and threw all the cards up in the air before swinging her arms in controlled movements, ropes of fire coming from her hands. One rope singed a single card from midair while the other wrapped around your calves, sending a searing hot white flash of pain through your body. 

"Y/N!" Zuko yelled when he saw the flames wrap their way up your legs and he ran towards you. You crumpled to the ground, tears falling freely as you cried in pain. Mai and Ty Lee gasped at what their friend had just done but didn't say anything out of pure terror of what she'd do if they did. 

Azula reached down and picked up the single singed card, a hole burnt straight through it. She inspected the card, "Eight of diamonds. Was this your card?" She asked as if you weren't on the ground, sobbing in pain with blisters forming up your legs from something she'd done. 

"Mom!" Zuko called out as he sat there beside your crying form, unsure of what to do or say, anger flaming up within him.

"Oh calm down, Zuzu," Azula rolled her eyes, "Your girlfriend is fine. It's a second-degree burn at most." 

"She's not my girlfriend!" Zuko hissed, throwing a fireball at his sister that she easily dodged, "You're a monster!" 

Ursa came running out quickly at her son's plea for help, "What on earth is going on here?!" She crouched next to you and could see the skin on your legs already boiling up from between the seared tears in your pants, "Azula, what have you done!?" Ursa was furious as she picked you up. 

Azula scoffed, "We were only playing, mother. It was an accident." 

"No it wasn't! Azula hurt her on purpose!" Zuko defended you, jumping up to stand beside his mother. 

Ursa looked at Ty Lee and Mai who looked terrified and didn't even make a move but the look in their eyes confirmed what Zuko said. Ursa held you close to her body before gripping her daughter's wrist roughly, "You have no idea how much trouble you're in." 

And she did. Azula had never gotten in so much trouble in her life, though, of course it did nothing but fuel her hatred for her mother and you and make her side further with her father She blamed you entirely and had harbored resentment against you for having the nerve to return the next day (something you did only because Zuko had begged you to since he wasn't allowed at your house.) Since that day, you never feared her again. You hated her. You didn't think it was possible to hold so much resentment for some as you did for her but you swore one day you'd get your shot to firebend her ass into a pile of ashes without receiving capital punishment, the only thing that kept you even remotely professional over the years. 

**

You shuttered at the thought. The scars that crawled up your calves like vines tingled whenever you thought about that day. It was far from the last time that Azula was ever mean to you but it was the worst thing she’d ever done to you physically. Mentally, well that was another story. 

That was why you’d run away to Ember Island. Even though you too were a fire bender, you could never retaliate against Azula, who took a sick pleasure in torturing you. At one point, you thought it would be worth the inevitable death or imprisonment that was sure to come with retaliation but when you got close, so close that Azula could sense that you were about to fire at her, she brought up your parents, and what she could do to them. It was enough to make you stop that day but it was that night that you left the castle, leaving only a note for your parents to briefly explain before disappearing. With the impending war and attacks, Ember Island seemed like a good enough place to set up. It was far enough away from Azula to be safe but vacationing didn’t seem high on anyone’s priorities list. 

So this was your new life and you loved it. 

The trip to the market was a quick one. You only had to drop off the beads to the artisans who made jewelry from them- you were only the bead maker. The rest of the day was open for you. As you walked back, you came to a split in the road. One, you knew led directly back to the house you were staying at. The other, you couldn’t recall having ever taken in all your time here.

“Let’s see what’s down here.” You hummed to yourself, looking for a little something to change up your routine. This was what you loved about no longer being a maid in the palace. Freedom. Freedom to go where you want, when you want, with who you want, to do whatever you want. The road itself was dirt with the occasional rocks around. It was lined with the large tropical plants found all around the island. At first, there were scattered stores which began to mix with houses before becoming entirely residential. These houses were quite a bit nicer than the houses in the residential area you lived in. Fire Nation flags hung from many of them. “Generals?” You questioned aloud to nobody but yourself. 

Down the road just a bit further, maybe a quarter mile down, the dirt road became much less maintained but there was still a path. After a while of walking, you saw that it led up a small hill to a large house that seemed hidden away from almost the entire island. It was large and beautiful, with traditional architecture built up in red tiles. The walls were practically windows, which you figured would be fantastic considering the wonderful view of the ocean from here. 

The road dead ended into this one home so you knew you should turn around now but the curiosity was killing you. This house looked luxurious but abandoned. The windows, though not broken, were dusty and looked like they hadn’t been cleaned in years. You couldn’t imagine anyone who owned such a magnificent vacation home allowing it to get so dirty unless it hadn't been used in a long time. 

Figuring you probably wouldn't get caught, you decided to check out the house and walked around the building. Heck, if it were abandoned, maybe you could even move in and fix it up. That wouldn’t count as stealing right? 

You wandered around the house until suddenly-

“Guys, someone’s coming!” A girl’s voice exclaimed from the side of the house that faced the beach. Your heart stopped and before you could even jump to hide in a bush, there were running footsteps coming towards you. Within seconds, a group of people about your age were staring at you. 

Your hands flew up in defense, “I am so sorry. I thought the house was abandoned and-” As you spoke, your eyes scanned across the faces until you noticed one in particular that made everything stop, “Z-zuko?” You couldn’t believe your eyes. Your best friend in the world, even after all this time, stood ahead of you, looking so different than you remembered but also exactly the same. His hair that you’d always known to be tied up to perfection and his royal clothing always neatly pressed, a desperate attempt to be as perfect as he could for his father, was now ragged and relaxed. His hair was down, grown long and dangling over his eyes in some spots. His clothing was that of commoners instead of royalty but you couldn’t help but notice the taut muscles and small scars that he’d acquired over the time of his exile. 

“Y/N? Is that really you?” Zuko’s eyes were wide with total shock and his skin paled as if he’d seen a ghost. He honestly never thought he’d see you again but there you stood, looking more beautiful than ever. He almost didn’t even recognize you. All throughout your childhoods, you’d always looked the same, day in and day out. Your hair was always down with the exception of the signature Fire Nation bun and you wore off-red servant’s garbs. But now, now you looked exquisite. Your hair was similar to how it was, still flowing down with the bun on top, save for the two small braids that framed your face. Instead of robes, you now wore a crimson crop top that crossed around your neck with an asymmetrical skirt of the same color over black capris. But the thing he noticed most of all was the gold arm band around your bicep that he’d given you for your birthday the year before he was banished. 

You nodded fervently and almost ran towards him but your knees nearly buckled when you collided. Thankfully, Zuko had his arms wrapped tightly around you, hugging you so tightly he lifted you to your toes anyways. You couldn’t help the overwhelming surge of emotions. Somewhere between relief and love and fear and confusion. When Zuko was banished, you were terrified you’d never see him again.

“How is this possible? Azula told me you were dead.” Zuko finally set you down and looked into your eyes. 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What? No… I’m-” You struggled to figure out where to start, “After you were banished, I stayed for another two years but without yours or your mother’s defense, she just got worse and worse. One day, I just- I almost snapped. I could feel the warmth in my hands. I almost attacked her but she began to threaten my parents. Deep down, I knew I couldn’t beat her. I haven’t had a teacher since you left. I didn’t hurt her but I ran away that night. After a while of wandering, I ended up here. I don’t know why she told you I was dead but it sounds like something she would do.” 

Zuko looked away angrily, “She’s always been a monster to you. To both of us. When I went back to the palace, I asked about you and she told me that you’d gotten sick and died shortly after I left. She only said it because she knew I’d be devastated and I fell right into the trap.” 

A part of your heart twinged from the feeling of being loved. Even after all this time apart, in which you were scared he’d forget about you, he just admitted to being devastated when he’d thought you’d died. 

You were unsure of how to respond to the look on Zuko’s face, a strange mixture of anger and relief. Pure bitterness for Azula. After a brief moment, you reached out for him and pulled him in for another hug, again holding onto him like you’d never let him go again. The very thought of losing Zuko another time made your heart jump to your throat in the worst of ways. “I’m here now though. No matter her threats or lies, here we are.” 

“You know her?” A young bald boy with arrows on his head asked from back with the rest of the group. You’d forgotten there were more people there but when you looked back, you noticed the rest of the group. 

Zuko turned to face the group but kept his hand placed on the small of your back, keeping you close to him, “This is Y/N. She was my best friend back at the palace. Y/N, this is Suki, Sokka, Katara, Toph, and Aang. Aang is the avatar.” 

The boy named Sokka looked suddenly distressed, “You’re just going to tell a friend from the Fire Nation palace that Aang’s the avatar?! What if she tries to kill him?” 

You shook your head at the accusation, your eyebrows raised in a desperate attempt to convince them that you were being truthful, “Oh no! I’ve never agreed with the Fire Nation’s goals! If you’re the avatar, you need to stop Ozai.” 

“I can vouch for her. Even when we were kids, she told me in secret that she didn’t believe that there was any superior element and that the Fire Nation shouldn’t be invading the other nations. Even when I did….” Zuko’s face fell with guilt for what his past self believed, “But I promise, if anyone from the Fire Nation would be on our side, it’s her.” 

Suki stepped forward, her face kind and curious, “You said you ran away from the palace? Are you royalty too?” 

You snorted and Zuko actually cracked a small humorous smile as well, “Oh no. A servant actually.” 

“A servant?” Katara questioned, “I don’t mean to be rude but if you’re a servant and Zuko was a prince, how were you friends?” 

Zuko stiffened up a little bit while you tried to hide the sadness you felt revolving around the circumstances, “My parents were the only royal servants to have a child. Zuko’s mother saw that I didn’t have any friends in the palace and allowed me to play with Zuko, Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee.” The memories of Ursa were all fond. Aside from Zuko, she was the only member of the royal family who treated you with any kindness. When she disappeared, you and Zuko mourned your loss of her together, even though you never did find out the truth about what happened to her that night. 

“You were forced to play with Azula? That must have been traumatizing.” Toph chimed, genuine apology in her sarcastic tone. 

You shifted awkwardly from side to side, one hand shooting up to rub your opposite bicep as those scars that snaked up your calves seemed to burn with awareness, “Yeah, it kind of was.” Your voice was lower than it had been, as the incident had been somewhat of a sore spot for you. 

Katara followed Zuko’s inconspicuously downcast gaze to where your legs were visible beneath your tight black pants that you wore beneath your asymmetrical red skirt. She was automatically hit with a pang of guilt when she saw the ever so slightly raised red vine-like scars that trailed up your legs and disappeared beneath the pants and immediately had an idea of how you’d acquired them. “I’m so sorry. We didn’t mean to-” 

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” You insisted sincerely, “Besides, they don’t bother me much anymore.” 

Eager to shift the topic, Aang jumped into the conversation, “Well I don’t know if you’ve got a home here or anything but you're welcome to stay with us.” He offered cheerily. Everyone else seemed in agreement, or at least didn't outright object, and how could you possibly say no to getting to spend time with Zuko again? 

"I'd love to. Thank you." 

Later that night, you and Zuko left the group by the campfire to disappear into the house. "So, this is the infamous summer house you'd always leave me for." You chuckled in remembrance, memories of having to watch your best friend disappear for weeks at a time while having to pretend you didn't care for the sake of keeping your friendship 'appropriate', especially after Ursa disappeared. 

"I always wanted to take you here. It's so much different now. Everything's different…" he trailed off, coming to a stop in the middle of a large, mostly empty room. The moonlight streaming from the windows cast a nostalgic shadow on the room and you couldn't help but remember the last time you saw each other. 

**

It was sickening. The entire arena was filled to the brim with people, mostly Fire Nation elite, all surrounding the main floor. Servants weren't supposed to be permitted but Iroh had snuck you in. Iron had taken you in as much as he could, seeing how important to Zuko you were. In a way, you too felt like he was your uncle. When you'd gone to him, begging him to stop the Agni Kai, he insisted that he'd tried to talk sense into his brother but was unsuccessful and that the most he could do to help was sneak you into the audience. 

So there you stood, surrounded by hundreds of animals who cheered for the murder of their thirteen year old prince by a well experienced war general, all because Zuko thought it wasn’t right to sacrifice hundreds of soldiers. “I’m not afraid to face the general,” Zuko had told you as he practiced his firebending with you all day before the Agni Kai, “I meant no disrespect, but I refuse to take back what I said. If this is what it takes, then this is what I’ll do.” 

When Zuko walked out into the open arena, the room went silent. Nobody would dare boo their prince but you were sure that if he were anyone else, they would have. He knelt down, facing away from where his opponent would take his place, staring at the ground. Your heart was in your throat with fear for your best friend. Although Zuko was your secret firebending teacher and much better than you, he had a tendency to crack under the gaze of people he was desperate to impress. The general he was supposed to fight was definitely not someone you’d imagine was one to take it easy on a kid, even if he was the prince. 

Zuko’s opponent came out in the shadows and shadowed his kneel, facing away from Zuko. When it was time, they both stood up and stepped towards each other. When they did, everyone gasped. Where the general was expected to be stood Ozai himself. An audible gasp and murmur ran through the crowd. 

“Oh no-” You stopped breathing entirely, “What’s happening?” Even from your obscured seat, you could see Zuko’s eyes widen in shock and panic. Confliction was written all over his face. 

The man beside you chuckled sadistically, “By speaking out in the Fire Lord’s war room, he has not only disrespected the general but the Fire Lord himself. This should be good.” You turned away from the man in utter disbelief that someone could say something like that about a literal child about to be harmed by his father. 

Ozai stepped forward, hands up and ready to deflect any attacks from his son but the way he moved showed that he didn’t expect his son to make any move. He was testing him and Zuko had failed to impress. Zuko fell onto his knees, shaking in fear. He hung his head low, “Please, father! I only had the Fire Nation’s best interest at heart. I’m sorry I spoke out of turn.” 

“You will fight for your honor.” Ozai continued to step towards him, an unyielding expression on his face. 

“I meant you no disrespect. I am your loyal son.” Zuko begged, laying all of his dignity on the line in front of the nation’s most influential people. 

Ozai wanted no part of it, “Rise and fight, Prince Zuko.” 

Zuko’s forehead laid on the ground as Ozai came to stand above him, “I won’t fight you.” 

His father stood tall and loomed over his small child, “You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.” 

When Zuko looked up, tears streamed down his cheeks, knowing that his father had no consideration of mercy. All you could hear were Zuko’s screams and the roar of flames leaving Ozai’s fist as you watched your friend be brutally burned. Your tears were unstoppable and unconsolable as you genuinely thought he killed Zuko. When the flames stopped, he was on the ground, holding his face and sobbing in pain. Ozai turned his back, something between pride for winning and embarrassment for the way his son reacted to the duel on his face. 

“The way you have behaved during this Agni Kai was more disgraceful than speaking out of turn. You have brought shame on yourself and the royal family. The punishment is banishment. Unless you can capture the Avatar, you are no longer welcome in the Fire Nation.” You gasped at what Ozai had said before he turned away and left, head straight and lips tight.

You began to run and push your way through the crowd, thanking goodness for your smaller stature compared to the adults all around. You had to find Zuko and make sure he was okay. You didn’t care if you’d get caught or in trouble, you just needed to find him. Being a servant had its perks in knowing the palace inside and out. It became obvious that nobody was going to help the prince until, while on your way through the halls, you ran into Iroh who too was looking to help the boy. 

Finally, you’d made your way to him and Iroh carried him to a washroom. You quickly ran over and retrieved a bowl of cool water while Iroh leaned him back. ��Pour the water on the burn.” He instructed. 

“Close your eyes.” You told Zuko, although his eyes were already shut tight in pain. The cool water flowed from the bowl and onto his face, which looked red and blistered already. This was by far the worst burn you’d ever seen. Zuko struggled slightly against the liquid but stopped crying and calmed down when the water became soothing. 

Iroh had located bandages and began to bandage his nephew’s face. 

“I-I can’t believe what happened.” Zuko stuttered out, “He banished me.” You weren’t sure you’d ever seen him so pale. “Where do I go, Uncle? What do I do?” He began to work himself up again as the weight of the last hour really settled. 

Iroh turned to put down the gauze, “You must leave the Fire Nation, Prince Zuko,” He began and Zuko looked panicked again, “But I will go with you.” 

You both turned to Iroh, “Uncle, no! You’re whole life is here.” 

“The world is no place for a boy to wander alone. And there is not much here for me in the Fire Nation palace anyways.” You all knew he was referring to the rumors of him being the weaker brother, the disgraced general. “I will accompany you.” 

Zuko placed his hands on his knees and braced himself as he thought through the situation, “I must find the Avatar. It’s the only way to regain my honor.” 

Both you and Iroh looked apprehensive but you were much more vocal, “Zuko, what your father did you today was not what fathers are supposed to do. Someone behaved shamefully today but it was not you.” You insisted, heart aching for him. 

“I need his respect. My honor is the most important thing. I’m going to find the Avatar and when I do, my honor will be restored and I will regain my rightful spot as prince.” Zuko looked pained and troubled. It was clear he knew what he wanted to do but had no idea how he would do it, not that he’d let that stop him though. 

You got quiet, looking down at where his knuckles were turning white from the tight grip on his own knees. Gently, you placed your hand on his and waited for him to look up just enough for you to make eye contact, “I’m going with you then.” You said finally. 

Zuko’s uncovered amber eye met yours before he shook his head, “I can’t let you do that. Your parents are here.” 

“I hate it here.” You insisted desperately, “I’ll come back for them some day but I can’t leave you. You’re the only person that cares about me here.” 

Iroh placed his hand caringly on your shoulder, “Zuko is right, Y/N. This is his journey but I do not think it’s yours. It’s best if you stay.” 

“But… but…” The tears were threatening to spill over as you managed to choke out, “I can’t lose you.” 

There was barely a moment between when the words left your mouth and when Zuko’s lips met yours. At first, you were taken off guard and almost pulled back but when your brain registered what happened, you leaned into the innocent kiss. Your brain ran wild. Was this heat of the moment or had he really felt the same way you did? When he pulled away, you felt cold, “I’ll come back for you one day. I promise.” 

** 

“So, speaking of different, you sure look like a different Zuko than the one I knew. Last I heard around the palace, you were super intense and obsessive about finding the avatar.” You asked, teasing towards the end. 

Zuko inhaled awkwardly, his hand coming to rub behind his neck, “Yeah… I was. Until I realized that my father was a monster and that the Fire Nation had caused nothing but harm and destruction. It took a lot of convincing but they actually let me join them and become Aang’s firebending teacher.” He gestured back to the group who was all laughing, most likely at something Sokka said. 

“Well, he’s got the best teacher around.” You giggled, hitting his arm gently. 

Zuko turned to look at you, “What about you? Things look pretty different for you too.” 

A boulder sat just ahead of you, perfect for the two of you to use as a seat. You leaned back against the stone and Zuko did the same beside you. “Well, when I left the palace, I didn’t know where to go. But then I remembered you telling me about Ember Island and figured that it was far enough away to get me away from Azula but still in the Fire Nation so I wouldn’t have to create a whole new identity. When I got here, I saw an old lady struggling to make it to the market and asked if she needed help. Turns out she’d been making glass beads for years and needed an apprentice. After spending the day together, we ended up striking up a deal. She’d teach me how to make the beads in exchange for room and board. So this is where I’ve been for the last year.” 

Zuko sighed, “I really did mean to come back for you.” 

You exhaled heavily. It had been a sore point for you for a while. You waited for him for two years, over which Azula told you lies about him being killed or disappearing. It was just another fuel for her mental abuse. “I honestly was really angry about it for a long time. But-” 

“No, you had every right to be. But believe me when I tell you it was probably best that you didn’t come. Searching for the Avatar made me someone I didn’t recognize. I became a monster.” He looked away from you, most of the last three years worth of misdoings coming back to haunt him. 

You squeezed his hand, “I doubt you were as bad as you think you were and I’m sure Iroh would tell you the same. Where is Iroh anyways?” 

He sank even deeper, “Another one of my many mistakes.”

Your heart immediately dropped, “Is he…?

Zuko shook his head, “No, no. He’s alive. I’m just sure he hates me.” 

“Zuko, I don’t think you could do anything that would actually make your uncle genuinely hate you. That man holds so much love and respect for you.” Iroh’s love and devotion to Zuko was undeniable and you weren’t lying when you said that there was probably nothing that would make Iroh’s feelings change. 

“I hope you’re right.” Zuko looked off into the distance before looking back at you, “But for what it’s all worth, I’m really glad to see you again.” 

A smile blossomed on your face, “I’m really glad to see you too. I missed you so much.” Even after all the years, it felt as if no time had passed. He was still your Zuko. 

You hadn’t realized that the gap between your bodies had closed to just a mere inch or two until you found yourself leaning your head onto his shoulder without thinking about it. Zuko stiffened up a little bit at the contact, looking around paranoid. He knew logically that there was nothing saying you two couldn’t be friends - or more - anymore. But his gut reaction was to be on his guard, just like when you were children, trying to hide your frowned upon friendship. 

Zuko had always looked back fondly on those memories while he was banished and not one day went by when he didn’t think about you.

**

Iroh walked onto the deck of the large ship to see his nephew standing against the railing and staring into the distance over the ocean. It was like he had the sixth sense for his nephew, always able to see what was going on in his head better than Zuko did. Iroh approached the prince and stood just behind his shoulder, “You’re thinking about Y/N again?” He asked, though it really was more of a statement. 

Zuko looked back over his shoulder towards his uncle, “I just wish I knew she was okay. She’s stuck there with Azula and you already know what she’s done to her! But now I can’t protect her. I should have let her come so I’d know she’s safe.” He looked away angrily, hanging his head, upset with how he’d handled everything. 

“You care for her, Prince Zuko.” Iroh began before getting interrupted by the eager and emotional prince. 

“Of course, I care for her! She’s my best friend.” Zuko had never really had any other real friends. Sure, Mai and Ty Lee were cool when they weren’t around his sister but none of them were you. 

Iroh could see the conflict in the boy’s eyes, “But you care for her as more than that, don’t you?” 

Zuko’s eyes widened. It shouldn’t have come as a shock to him but hearing his secret feelings spoken aloud finally felt like it was actually real. With anyone else in the world, he would have denied it but Iroh was different. “We can never be together.” Zuko confessed, heartbroken all over again. This was why he didn’t admit it to himself. 

“Why’s that?” Iroh asked, as if the answer weren’t obvious like it was to you and Zuko. 

His face scrunched with distress, “Because I’m a prince and… well she’s not even the daughter of a general. I don’t care about her wealth or status but it’s not allowed.” 

“Well, lucky for you, for once, you’re banished. I don’t think anyone would care much if you were to be with her now.” Iroh pointed out. 

Zuko groaned, “I’m not even allowed into Fire Nation territory let alone the palace. I’d never be able to take her away like this. I need to find the Avatar, have my honor restored, and then I’ll find her again and I’ll never let her go.” 

“True love will find a way, Prince Zuko. Remember that happiness and love is more important in this world than titles.” 

** 

Now, you were beside him, your head unashamedly laying on his shoulder and was it his imagination or was your leg touching his now? Zuko cleared his throat, “Y’know, I can’t help but think about how we left things off three years ago,” You shifted to look up at him when he spoke. 

You knew he was talking about the kiss - that one forbidden kiss that had haunted your lips since he left. It had consumed many of your nights as well. “I think about it too. A lot.” You confessed, much less embarrassed than you ever would have imagined. 

Zuko tried to hide the little jump in his chest when he heard the way you agreed, like it wasn’t a bad memory but far from it. “You do?” 

You nodded with a warm smile on your face (or maybe it was just your cheeks burning from the confessions), “I liked you for so long, of course it was something to remember.” 

“Liked?” Zuko questioned nervously, “As in past tense?” 

“Yeah, as in past tense.” You began and Zuko’s heart dropped. 

“Oh…” 

“‘Cause now… I think- I think I fell in love with you a long time ago.” You looked up directly into his eyes, heart in your throat as you waited for a response. 

Zuko’s jaw dropped in disbelief and he stuttered over his words, “There wasn’t a single day I didn’t want to come back and take you away so we could be together.” 

You and Zuko stared into each other’s eyes as the weight of what was being said sunk in. Everything felt heightened right now, like else in the world mattered but Zuko. All you could see and hear and feel was him from his scent of woody spices and smoke to the way the moonlight reflected off his perfect skin - scar included. You could literally feel the warmth radiating from his body, a warmth you had a feeling hadn’t been there in a long time. 

“What’s there to stop us from being together now?” In all the futures you’d imagined with Zuko, this wasn’t really a scenario you’d thought of. The two of you sitting on a rock at Zuko’s family summer house after years of not seeing each other- Zuko, a banished and disgraced prince and you, a former servant runaway- but now seeing each other without the shroud of all the barriers of titles and statuses. 

Your lips had already been dangerously close when you were talking, making the ever so slight move inwards to close the gap feel effortless. The question you’d posed was responded to with a long, deep kiss. Zuko’s lips had changed so much since the last time you’d kissed them. The smooth soft lips that had lingered in your memory were now rougher and slightly chapped, weathered from years of hard work like the rest of him, though still soft enough to be familiar. 

Zuko’s hand came up to rest on the point where your jaw met your neck to guide your lips to his just ever so slightly deeper. He was lost in you, in your lips, in your scent, in your tase, in your touch. This moment was everything he’d dreamed about almost every night on his quest for the Avatar. Like everything else, this felt so different yet so familiar. 

Finally, you pulled away and this time you didn’t feel guilty or immediately look over your shoulder. You got to just be with Zuko. It was as if you were entranced by him, unable to take your eyes away. If you could’ve picked one moment to last forever, this would be it. 

That was until Zuko sighed and turned his face away, “There’s a war.” 

“So we’ll fight together.” Your hand that was still on his squeezed tightly. 

Zuko turned back to you and gripped your other hand, holding them close to his body, “Losing you the first time was hard enough. I can’t lose you again, Y/N.” 

You swallowed hard, “I know I’m not the most skilled Fire Bender in the world but that doesn’t mean I can’t hold my own. I don’t plan on dying in this war and you better not be planning on it either.” 

“That’s not what I mean. I just… I love you Y/N,” He confessed, his typical Zuko-esque flusteredness creeping into his tone, “But now after knowing you feel the same way and knowing what we could be, I just don’t know if I could handle risking losing my best friend and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” 

Your breath abandoned you when those three words left his lips, I love you. They were the three words you’d dreamed of hearing him tell you for years. But now he was using them as an excuse to not be with you. “I love you too, Zuko. I’ve loved you for so long. But what difference does it make if we fight this war as a couple or as friends? If we love each other, the pain of losing the other would be the same.” 

Zuko’s gaze fell to where your fingers were interlaced and he brought them up to his chest, looking at the contrast of his larger calloused hands to your smaller, slightly softer ones. “I can’t lose you.” He repeated, closing his eyes, but this time it sounded like a final decision. 

You pulled your body closer to his, your intertwined hands pressed between your chests, as you looked up at him, “Then don’t push me away.” Your plea was low, barely above a whisper, but by the way Zuko looked, you could tell it had some affect. “Please, let us do this together.” 

Zuko found it difficult to argue with you because it was like arguing with himself. You were the vocalization of everything he wanted deep down. “Okay,” He answered finally, “But only if you help me rebuild the Fire Nation when it's all over. Together.” 

[sporksaber]

Ok, I love the role swap concept with zuko and azula, but I feel like they switch their abilities and personalities a bit too and I think itd be more fun without that. Where Azula is an antisocial and unstable genius who wants to gain power and zuko still struggles with being the less powerful and extremely empathetic sibling. So here's how I'd do it.

(Note, this is just for fun. I'm not saying anyone else's version is bad. But I've though about this so much and need it out of my head before I go off cuz make a whole comic and I do not have the time, i need to work.)

First off, Azula wouldn't call out in concern for the men like how zuko did. In my version she's allowed into the meeting because of the aptitude for strategy shes shown. She speaks up because it's an inefficient plan that uses up too many resources when there are other options. This enrages her father and leads to the agni kai. Azula is terrified and feels betrayed but has no idea how to handle any of it. She fights back during the agni kai, but in her panic she sets off a bolt of lightning. Ozai finishes the match and severely burns on her lower back. Azula is banished for her use of lightning on the fire lord (bc ozai fears she will no longer be easy to manipulate and might plot his death) and is forced to leave the next morning.

Some things to note: azula is eleven at this point. I changed the placement of the scar bc I think zuko's is very symbolic in a way that doesnt suit azula. Zuko's scar being over his eye and close to the light chakra shows the way his view of the fire nation and honour obscures his vision and how he is unaware of the truth of the world under fire nation rule. I set azula's over her spine because that chakra is based on survival and blocked by fear. It also represents trust which will fit into her arc with the gaang. Finally, she doesnt have Iroh to guide her. One of the things that bothered me was Iroh writing her off as evil despite her being a mentally unstable child. She did have to be defeated, but the way he talked about it was too dismissive. (Personally I think he was projecting his views of his brother and his perceived failures with him onto her.) Azula isnt sent to capture the avatar so she isnt given soldiers. She's completely alone without an advisor to look to or keep her calm.

Azula is given a manned ship with a disgraced soldier and an attendant when she leaves. The way I see it the soldiers zuko had were probably more irohs than his. The soldier is relieved to not be executed but hates being demoted to playing babysitter to a child at sea. The attendant views it as a punishment and hates Azula for it. Eventually the attendant will betray her and be killed for it. Azula never trusted the soldier and he eventually leaves to start a family in an earth kingdom colony. Azula doesnt miss him, he was no longer useful. The loneliness does get to her though.

Azula is obsessed with getting the underhand, so she had been successfully building connections and planting spies where needed.

(Zuko has been acting as a respectable crowned prince. He holds a zealous loyalty to his nation and father. He still faulters as Iroh tries to steer him from tyranny, but his sights are set on his father's approval and that alone. Afterall, if his prodigy could be discarded who's to say what would happen to him if he failed?)

This brings us to the start of the series. Like Zuko Azula witnesses the trap on the old fire nation battle ship go off. She investigates and finds that an air bending avatar is living at the south pole village. She decides she wants to speak with him.

Azula didn't believe the avatar existed before this point. Hiding didnt add up to her knowledge of the morality of airbenders, so she assumed the air nation avatar from the start of the war would be dead. She would know if one had appeared in the water tribe, as the south had all its benders killed and the north was compacted so close together it would be impossible to hide. Earth would be harder, but they were most likely to fight back and out act. And if in ba sing se they'd be used as a weapon or gotten rid of to preserve the peace of the city. Once the culcle progressed to the fire nation it would either be used to take over the other nations or enf the cycle for good. After all, there hasn't been an air bender for a hundred years even if the rumors of some acolytes surviving were truthful.

Azula kidnaps aang with far more ease than she should of been able to. Once he stops struggling she calmly offers him tea and promises to release him once their discussion is finished. He takes the tea and drinks it without question and besides a wary glare shows no more hostility. She thought him a fool, the tea could have easily been poisoned and promised are nothing but words. His naivete makes her job easier though.

She finds out that he was suspended frozen in the avatar state the last 100 years. And so, Azula informs him of the war and the fire nations crimes, advising him to master the elements if he wants to prevent all his new friends and the avatar cycle from certain destruction. Aang is conflicted, he never asked for any of this. Azula just gives a bitter smile. "The hands of fate were never designed to take requests, they move without regard to any life dependent on it. Dont waste your breath when there is nothing you can do."

Azula wants to see Ozai fail. If helping the avatar is what it takes then so be it. When his friends appear to save him she let's them leave without a fight. Theyll be useful in the future.

As the gaang's travels kick off she sets out to find out if the rumours about the acolytes are true. In this she finds a traveling circus. The youngest daughter and an old friend of hers was eager to escape and found Azula's life exciting. She didn't hesitate after being invited along, insisting that traveling would be easy for her and that she'd pull her own weight.

She encounters the gaang a few times as time goes by. The relationship is reluctant on the water tribe siblings part, they dont trust her and hold a decent amount of fear towards her. Her cold and calculating demeanor was unsettling, but the unhinged way she fought was terrifying. Her form was perfect and her attacks were precise, but the bigger the fight the more lost she became as she laughed and shrieked and occasionally snapped at someone who didnt seem to be there. The only worse reaction was when she zeroed in on one opponent, picking them apart both mentally and physically as she drove them to the ground. )

Things that'll happen as I move through an episode list:

Azula doesn't have her ship attacked do she diesnt run into zhao while doing repairs, instead going straight to ty lee.

Azula learns that the gaang is on kyoshi island and heads ther after them. She has been keeping track of the avatar as they move. Ty lee gets along well with the kyoshi warriors while azula buts heads with them. They dont want her there and azula hates it when people get in the way. Zhao appears to try to capture aang and Azula dips at the same time as the gaang. She tells ty lee she can stay but she insists on sticking with azula. This puts her on edge.

Ty lee gets captured by earth benders, when she escapes on her own she cements her usefulness to Azula.

They run into zhao trying to capture the avatar and azula tells him she'll capture him first. They both attack aang during the solstice, though azula's attacks are all purposefully set to miss and trip up zhao as much as possible. Aang is the best way to prove her father wrong and she's not going to lose that.

They rob the pirates that try to capture the avatar. Azula needs the resources and it gives her leverage over the gaang.

After almost killing ty lee for scaring her by popping up behind her Azula tells her why she was banished. (In more of a "my own mother thought I was a monster" way than an opening up about trauma way.)

Azula learns that zhao has captured aang and frees him. She then sets to reworking her information network as not all of them are scared enough of her to not fail her. She remedies it quickly.

Azula learns that zhao is plotting her assassination and decides it's the perfect moment to fake her death.

Azula enters the north pole to defeat zhao and gain any information she can. Ty lee rades a library during the confrontation. Zhao is surprised and infuriated to see her alive, Azula smiles as she sends him to his death knowing that she is not only helping the avatar but also that he gave her a perfect way to hide from the fire nation. (When news of his sisters death reaches hum, Zuko doesnt know what to think. She was always cruel to him, but she was still his little sister.)

The crown prince of the fire nation is sent to capture the avatar. Azula follows him as he begins his search. (Zuko begins to think he's going insane as he keeps catching glimpses of his recently deceased sister out of the corner of his eye.)

Ty lee keeps running into a girl she slowly befriends. She's gloomy and sarcastic and ty lee thinks Azula would like her. (Zuko's fiance Mai tells him that she thinks his sister is still alive.)

As Azula notices ty lee become more and more distracted as she absorbed herself into the cultures that surround them she decides it's best for them to split up. Ty lee diesnt agree, but Azula leaves anyway. She has work to do.

While traveling alone Azula cant escape the thoughts of her mother. Of her fathers betrayal. Of the life she lost because the idiot elders had no grip on proper strategy that even a child could create. She meets a boy that reminds her far too much of zuko with a mother far to similar to theirs. When she sends the bandits controlling the town running she knows it's more than just controlling a territory that compelled her. But at the same time she doubts not following through on the whim would have bothered her.

Ty lee meets toph and chat for a bit. Ty lee tells her about azula and how she left. When toph tells her she should forget her she insists that azula didnt really ditch her and that they're still friends. They talk about their friends and childhood.

Ty lee finds Azula and immidiently jumps at her, which she does not enjoy. Ty lee insists that she still wants to travel with her and Axula sighs as she let's her tag along to the next location, ba sing se.

Azula slips through guards and protocols as she tries to gain any information she can to help her once they reach the city. Ty lee befriends a guy named jet and his group, the freedom fighters. When he tries to get more than friendship she turns him down and it becomes much more awkward.

Ty lee becomes a street performer and chames everyone she meets as Azula researches the dai lee and how they keep control. After lashing out in frustration ty lee drags her out to enjoy the city's night life.

Azula learns of the presence of the avatar and location of appa. She frees him and sets to work taking control of the dai lee. She let's herself be briefly captured but her plan shifts when katara is thrown in with her. Katara is pissed just being around her and azula plays up a cool kind of annoyance. Katara briefly catches sight of the burns on Azula's back and offers to heal her, only for Azula to freak out and yell at her to stay away, backing against a far wall in a fighting stance. They are saved by the rest if the gaang and ty lee shortly after.

Azula goes back to try and salvage her plan only to be caught off guard by the appearance of her brother and his offer to return to the fire nation. Not willing to lose all possible advantages, she agrees. They battle the gaang, and when they are almost captured azula sends a bolt of lightning at aang, causing them to retreat. Katara can heal him more easily than she can maneuver them out of an execution.

Azula returns to the fire nation with her brother, mai and ty lee, starting the beginning of a large power play between her and her father. They are sent to lo and li beach house. The relationship between the siblings is tense, zuko has always been the child born with nothing who gained everything when his blessed at birth sister lost it all. Azula has always been cruel, but he cant help but let his heart catch on the moments when she's not. ("My own mother thought I was a monster, My father thought i was too difficult to keep around" "Don't let their words blind you, you need to be more careful, zuzu." "I learned the hard way to never turn your back to anyone, and the scars will always be there as a reminder if I need it." )

Azula runs into iroh, who is very disapproving of her presence. He warns her to stay away from zuko and to watch herself while at the palace. Later, zuko comes to her asking about their great grandfather. Upon being pressed he admits that he was sent a mysterious letter. He thought she was going to burn it when he handed it to her but instead the heat from the fire revealed a hidden ink. "Honestly brother, did you ever pay attention at all during lessons?" They find a autobiographical scroll of their great grandfathers life and the secret that their other great grandfather was roku. Azula scoffed at the idea of bloodlines deciding fate and quickly left. But Zuko remained conflicted.

During the day of the black sun Azula confronts Ozai. As iroh and Zuko fight the avatar. She learns that her mother left for zuko's sake and that she was never going to be fire lord. Azula tells him she'll be somthing even better and leaves the palace.

Azula and ty lee follow the gaang to the western air temple. Katara immidprntly attacks but is quickly rendered unable to bend by ty lee. Azula tells them that the only way for them to of gotten out was for Aang to be incapacitated, and she knew katara could heal him. Aang decides they can stay but have to stay distanced from everyone else.

Azula tries to teach aang fire bending but is slowly growing sick while aang is barely able to produce a puff of smoke. Unable to sleep and constantly on edge, it soon affects her bending, sending her spiraling as she loses control on the only consistent power she's ever had. Her and aang journey to find the true source of fire bending to try to help their conditions.

Still sick, Azula is itching to do anything away from the temple. Finding sokka trying to reach the boiling rock to find his father, she decides to go with him as she knows the prison well. Sokka declines but she goes anyway. They dont find his father, but they do find suki. Azula formulates a plan but they postpone when sokka's father arrives.

Azula comes up with a new plan, now reluctant to include sokka. He tells her to trust him but she insists she has no reason to. Her sickness has been getting worse and he tells her she needs to trust him, making her angry. Only when he catches her while they're escaping dies she finally begin to accept trusting him, if only slightly.

(While they're away ty lee tries to convince

Azula goes with Katara to find the man who killed her mother. Azula has no concept of why katara is so upset, which causes her to get angry. But azula tracks the man anyway.

Ember island players- azulas character has the scar across her chest. She's absolutely insane and "not entirely inaccurate, but I'd never come up with such a dumb plan." Shes also heavily implied to be more than close to ty lee, which azula has no reaction to even as the others freak out.

I havent decided the ending, zuko will probably turn to the gaang's side. I'll add more later and maybe write or illustrate a bit.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 21

A/N:  I’ve always wanted to write a super-tropey scene like the bar scene in this so I went ahead and did it and I LOVE IT, OKAY?!  Also, if you haven’t seen, I posted Part 3 of my Elias story last Thursday.  It’s linked on my Masterlist!

Also, just a quick note that I will be returning to a full-time job after Labour Day today.  I have enough chapters written out that I don’t think I will have to skip a week of posting, and I organize my time wisely so that I still give myself time to write, but this is just a PSA/FYI that I may not get to your asks/canon questions super quickly like I have been over quarantine.  They will still ALL be answered, though, so don’t worry about that!

Anyways, enjoy this! 

February 18th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was dejected.  

The Leafs had lost their last two games, but these felt different.  They’d lost to Buffalo on Sunday 5-2, and Buffalo was one of the worst teams in the league.  It didn’t even matter that there were a majority of Leaf fans in the building.  Now, tonight, they’d just lost 5-2 again, but this time to Pittsburgh.  She couldn’t keep her eyes off her phone, with tweet upon tweet upon tweet calling this the worst game of the season for the team.  Just an absolutely awful game.  No effort.  No heart.  No soul.  One that they would have to answer for at home, since they faced them again on Thursday, but this time at home.  She didn’t even like hockey and she was taking everything to heart because, well – she was part of the team now.  Everybody had told her that since day one.  And now, at one of the lowest points in the season, she felt that.

She couldn’t stop scrolling.  Couldn’t stop reading what everybody was saying.

It was Tyson who had volunteered to drive her home tonight.  Ever since Morgan broke his ankle, it was a rotation of Tyson or John.  When Emma picked up Tyson, she was just as nice, but she missed Bee.  She missed seeing the way Morgan looked at Bee when they were in the car, because it reminded her of how William looked at her when they were alone.

Aberdeen shuffled into the backseat of Tyson’s SUV.  Tyson was in the driver’s seat, and Emma was the passenger.  Everyone was silent as Tyson began driving into the city – she and Emma could tell he was dejected and mad at the game that had transpired just a few hours ago.  The short flight did nothing to quell his emotions.  And as Emma laid her hand on his on the gearshift, Aberdeen watched as she moved her thumb back and forth, trying to tell him that it was all okay.

“Tys…it’s not your fault,” Emma said softly, finally, after what felt like a lifetime of silence.  

“Em—”

“Tyson, listen to me.”

“—Emma, please, not right now—”

His eyes flashed to hers through the rear view mirror, but Emma wouldn’t listen to him.  “I know it and you know it too.  The whole defence is flawed.  Plus, you guys are missing Mo.  It’s not just you and you know that—”

“—Emma, I really don’t want to talk about it right now—”

“—and besides, if – or should I say when – you’re traded at the deadline, none of this will matter,” she dropped a bombshell.  “Everyone knows you’re unhappy and it’s not working out and that you’re much better suited to play somewhere else.”

Aberdeen felt her body stiffen at the revelation.  So Tyson was unhappy.  Unhappy with playing on the Leafs.  She knew he wasn’t having the best season, especially considering how successful he’d been in Colorado, but she didn’t think it was that bad.  He’d gotten better when Sheldon came in, but apparently that wasn’t enough.  It wasn’t enough to make him happy.  And in Aberdeen’s life, happiness was important.  It was almost paramount.  What you did and who you surrounded yourself with and your work should, ultimately, make you happy.  Was it the same in hockey?  Were hockey players allowed to be happy?  Were hockey players on the Toronto Maple Leafs allowed to be happy?  Or was everything just a business transaction?  A long road to the ultimate success of lifting the Stanley Cup, regardless of who got hurt along the way?

Tyson let out a long sigh as he continued to drive, choosing not to answer his girlfriend or say anything else.  When they got off the Gardiner and into downtown, Aberdeen was almost desperate to get out.  She felt very awkward.  Clearly Emma and Tyson wanted, needed to have a conversation, and she was stopping that from happening.  Just by being in the backseat.  She almost wanted to just tuck and roll out of the car.  Tyson could return her suitcase later.  She really didn’t care at this point.  

When he pulled up outside her condo building, Aberdeen almost didn’t want until he stopped the car and put it in park to click her seatbelt off.  “Hey Aberdeen,” Tyson looked at her through the rear view mirror.  She paused all her movements to stare back at him through the mirror.  “I uh…I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention to Brendan, uh, you know…what you heard…” he trailed off.

Aberdeen stared back at him doe-eyed.  She shook her head slightly.  “I don’t…I don’t tell Brendan about anything I find out about you guys.  I mean I would never…” she said softly, trailing off too.

Tyson nodded, smiling slightly.  “Thanks, Aberdeen.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem.”

When she got out of the car, Tyson popped the trunk so she could get her bag.  After one last thank you, a polite wave, and a push of the button to get it to close, she walked into her condo building.  She nodded towards the security guard before walking towards the elevators.

She wondered if William felt that same way when he played last year.

***

February 20th, 2020

“Get ‘em!” Aberdeen growled as she looked down onto the ice.  “Get ‘em!!!”

Brendan chuckled as he watched Aberdeen, her hands balled up in fists as she practically hung over the box.  He’d never seen her so into a hockey game before, and he didn’t know what had gotten into her.  “You alright, Aberdeen?”

“Get ‘em!”

He got a kick out of it.  Kyle, too, was doing one of those silent chuckles and getting redder by the second.  “Aberdeen, you’re going to blow your heart out.  We’re gonna need to put you on meds,” Brendan commented.  “You gotta remember that you’re staying until the proofs get here.  You can’t waste all your energy now.”

Aberdeen calmed down a bit, but she was still on the edge of her seat.  “Sorry,” she said.  She knew she was maybe taking it a bit overboard, but she couldn’t help it.  After the awful game against the Penguins on Tuesday, the Leafs were dominating them right now.  Freddie was playing phenomenally, Jake Muzzin had just scored to put them up 1-0, and they were getting really good chances.  It’s like the team did a complete 180 from what they were.  She also knew, though, that she needed to stay at the arena later tonight, because the final proofs for the St. Pats jerseys were coming and she was the one who had to sign for them and place them safely and securely in Brendan’s office to see tomorrow.  She didn’t know how long she’d be up tonight, and she’d need to conserve energy.  

“Don’t apologize.  I just don’t want you to have a heart attack,” Brendan smiled. 

With the Leafs on a powerplay, Aberdeen was like a hawk following the puck.  With Tavares, Matthews, and Nylander on the ice, she was praying for a goal.  And then—

“YES!!!!!” she screamed as William scored a beautiful goal, jumping up in her seat and throwing her fist in the air like she was Bender at the end of The Breakfast Club.  From beside her, Brendan and Kyle stayed unnaturally calm.  Aberdeen looked over at them and tried to settle back into her seat calmly.  “Sorry.  Again,” she said, gripping the armrests of her chair.  “But how can you guys be so calm?!”

“You get used to it,” Brendan smiled.

“Well, maybe you do, Mr. Hockey Player,” Aberdeen joked.

“Especially when the camera is on you,” Kyle added.

Aberdeen’s face dropped.  “Oh my God, I’m not on camera, am I?!”

Kyle shook his head, his smile spreading from ear to ear.  “We’ll have to see, Aberdeen, but I don’t think so.”

The Leafs dominated the rest of game.  Kasperi scored another goal only three minutes after William, and Zach scored in the third to make it 4-0.  Freddie got the shutout.  She knew he’d be happy about that, despite his stoic reserve.  As she, Brendan, and Kyle made their way to the locker room, Aberdeen saw the media already speaking to Jake Muzzin.  She knew they’d want to speak with the goal scorers too, and so when she saw William and Kasperi heading to the media room, along with John, Freddie, and Sheldon, she wasn’t surprised.  It was a good game.  Hopefully the media would back down a bit.  

She congratulated the guys and stood on the sidelines as Brendan and Kyle spoke to some of them once the media left.  By that point, some of them were dressed and ready to head home.  “Hey, you want a ride?” Jason offered as he approached her, tightening his tie around his neck.

“Oh, I’m staying back, actually,” Aberdeen informed him.  He looked at her skeptically.  “The final proofs are coming in for your St. Pats jerseys in March and I have to receive them and put them in Brendan’s office under lock and key.”

“Oh!” he exclaimed.  “Well, I can wait with you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Aberdeen, it’s fine.  We can grab a bite to eat afterwards.”

“Jason, I might be here until, like, eleven.”

“So we’ll have an authentic Italian-style dinner then.  All the more reason since I miss my motherland.”

“Jason—”

“Aberdeen, are you really going to say no me?”

She glared at him.  It was like St. John’s all over again.  Before she could open her mouth and say something else, another voice interrupted her.  “Why’re you giving Jason the stink eye?” William asked as he approached them.

“I’m gonna wait with Aberdeen until the proofs come and then we’re gonna grab dinner.  You in?” he asked William, but everybody already knew the answer.

William shrugged his shoulders casually, like Jason hadn’t just invited him to dinner with his own girlfriend.  “I’m in.”

Aberdeen rolled her eyes.  “You two are insufferable.”

“I like to think it’s part of our charm,” Jason smiled.  “Let me call Jen and then we can go trash Brendan’s office.”

*** It was about 10:45 when Aberdeen, Jason, and William ended up at a small bar none of them had ever been to that served small pub-style plates.  It was crowded, for some reason, even though it was a Thursday.  Aberdeen quickly learned, judging by the drink specials, that it was their grand opening weekend, and tonight was their first official night open.  Opening on a Thursday meant pandering to the university crowd for sure (whose pub nights usually took place on Thursdays), but this place was pretty full with an older, gruffier clientele that were seated at the bar and congregated in small groups around the open space in the centre of the room, away from the few booths against the wall.  She wondered if they marketed the place wrongly, or if they just wanted to fill the place so they could say they had a successful opening.  

It was a bit loud, but she, Jason, and William ate their late dinner in relative peace.  They spoke about the game only for a little bit before they moved on to other topics, making it abundantly clear to Aberdeen that they didn’t want to discuss hockey at all.  The food was fine, and so, too, were the beers William and Jason had, but Aberdeen’s Long Island Iced Tea had way too much rum in it so she couldn’t finish.  

By the time they finished, it was almost midnight and Aberdeen was starting to feel her fatigue.  They were told to pay at the bar, so they gathered their jackets.  Aberdeen insisted on paying for her meal, ever going so far as to run up to the bar herself, inching between some patrons in order to pay, before William or Jason could even get out of the booth.  William, however, was right behind her, ready to Jason’s meal on his card.

“H—Hey!  Hey!  Look what we have here!  Y-You’re Wiiiilliam Nylander,” a guy, older and very clearly inebriated, slurred out as he laid his eyes on them.

“That’s me,” William gave a tight-lipped smile, standing just slight behind Aberdeen, waiting his turn to pay.

The drunk guy focused his attention on Jason now.  “You.  Spezza.”

“Yup.”

He turned back towards William, shaking his head.  “Teams like this can’t win the Cup.  Esp-p-ecially not with this guy around.”

That caught Aberdeen’s attention.  She furrowed her brows as the friend of the guy, obviously just as drunk, nodded his head in agreement.  “Don’t have the heart like Dougie or Wendel.  All a bunch of pussies now.  Especially you.”

Aberdeen pulled her card out of the reader dramatically, turning her body so she could face them head on.  “What the hell is your problem?  There’s no need to be rude,” she said, her voice loud and firm.

“Aberdeen, stop it,” William said loud enough for her to hear.

“Y-Y-Yyyyou shoulda just sssigned the contract, man,” the drunk man grumbled out.  

Aberdeen tried again, ignoring William’s plea.  “Sir, this isn’t the time or place,” she intervened, but William’s hands went straight to her waist to move her out of his way so she wasn’t standing in between them anymore.  

Suddenly, it was William closer to the drunk man that Aberdeen.  The drunk guy apparently didn’t like that very much.  “You’re damn – you’re damn selfish!  Ssssselfish and greedyyyy,” the man continued to slur drunkenly.  “Seeeelfish, no good—”

“Sir—” Aberdeen showed up beside William, refusing to stand behind him.

“I oughta hurt you like you hurt the fffranchise.”

Aberdeen’s eyes widened.  That was a threat if she ever heard one, and even though he was drunk, Aberdeen didn’t like the tone of his voice.  “Okay sir,” she chastised.  “You need to stop overreacting.  We’re just here trying to pay for our meal.  This is no time to be a dick.”

“You know what?  Let’s just pay at the other end of the bar,” Jason said, trying to diffuse the situation as much as possible.  He even started to herd William and Aberdeen away from the drunk man and down the opposite end of the bar.  “You have fun with whatever whiskey you’re drinking,” he gave one last look to the man before walking away himself.

“Fuckin’ pussy!” the friend yelled loudly at William, already half way down the bar now.

Aberdeen looked back.  William had grabbed her wrist and was dragging her through the crowd so she’d get to the other side with him.  She watched as one of them slammed his glass down on the bar dramatically.  “Willy—”

“Ignore them, Aberdeen.”

“Yeeeeeah, fuckin’ pussy!  Fuckin’ lowlife!  Worst Leaf on the team!  Shoulda traded you back to Sweden, ya Swedish piece of shit!”

The men continued to yell obscenities and taunt William as they stood at the other end of the bar.  Aberdeen stared at William as he stuck his credit card into the machine, quickly punching in his pin.  “Does that happen often?” Aberdeen asked him.

“Aberdeen, don’t,” he shook his head, refusing to answer her as he pulled his card out of the machine and stuffed it back into his wallet.  It was as if he didn’t want her to know; as if he wanted to protect her from learning just how awful some “fans” could be – at least to him.

“Did you pay?” Jason showed up beside them.  William nodded.  “Alright, then let’s get the hell out of here,” he ordered, herding them again to lead them out.

It all happened so fast that Aberdeen didn’t really know exactly that – what happened.  All she knew was that she heard the guy yell from down the bar.  Then she heard the breaking of glass (commonplace in bars, really) and someone else yell “Put it down!” as she, Jason, and William continued towards the door.  Then another voice screamed “Watch out!” and she, Jason, and William turned their heads to look behind them.

Then it hit her.

Literally.

A glass had been thrown – obviously by one of the drunk men who had been harassing them – intended for William, but it hit Aberdeen right on the forehead instead.  She staggered backwards but didn’t fall.  As she brought her hand up to assess the damage, she could almost immediately feel blood dripping down the side of her eye.  

“Aberdeen!” Jason screamed.

William looked over and saw the blood on Aberdeen’s hand and it dripping down the side of her face.  His eyes filled with anger.  Jason, who was still looking at Aberdeen, saw the look she was giving William.  He whipped his head towards William, who appeared ready to murder everybody in the room.  “Will—William—” Jason tried to get his attention, but to no avail.

“Ohmygodareoyouokaaaaay?!” voices began to ask as they huddled around Aberdeen, William, and Jason worriedly, forming a protective circle around them.  There were so many people, so concerned and so loud asking if she was okay that Aberdeen couldn’t even respond – she was too overwhelmed and too confused to even comprehend what was going on.

That’s when the two men ran out.  When most of the people in the bar were distracted trying to see if Aberdeen was okay, the men had the wherewithal to completely book it out of the bar with nobody stopping them.  It was only William who noticed, screaming out a loud “HEY!” to try and get somebody’s attention to stop them, but nobody moved enough for him to get out of the scrum around Aberdeen to chase him.  William focused his attention back on Aberdeen even though he could feel his cheeks flush red with anger and tears forming in his eyes.  She was still holding the area above her eyebrow cautiously as the bartender waved her over.  Jason and William led her towards the bar, making sure she didn’t step on any of the shattered glass that now littered the floor.  The bartender was already opening the first aid kit.  William heard Jason tell everyone “It’s fine, it’s fine, we don’t need your help, it’s alright, we’ll handle it, we’ll handle it.”

Aberdeen was offered a bar stool to sit on, but she turned it down.  She didn’t want to be on display for everyone to see; she was already embarrassed enough as is.  “You wanna go into a washroom?” the bartender asked, and Aberdeen nodded her head.  He led them to the wheelchair bathroom, since there would be space for all of them, and ushered them in.  “The emergency rooms are just up the street.  They’ll do stitches.”

William glared at the bartender.  “Aren’t you even gonna call a paramedic or something?  What about the cops?” he demanded, his voice shaking from the anger he was still feeling.  “Can we look at security cameras to get a face?”

“Bro, we don’t want cops or paramedics here opening night.  That would kill us,” the bartender said.  William couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  “We don’t have cameras installed yet, either.  Just clean it up and take it to emerge.  It’s, like, two blocks north.”

William felt like punching the bartender square in the jaw.  And he would have, too, for being so insensitive about it, if it wasn’t for Jason opening the first aid box loudly against the counter.  Jason, for his part, glared at the bartender too.  “You can leave now,” he growled, focusing his attention back on finding what he needed within the kit.  “Useless piece of shit,” he mumbled under his breath.

Aberdeen sat on the toilet, trying to collect her thoughts and emotions.  She’d gotten hit with a fucking flying glass in the middle of a bar.  A glass seemingly intended for Willy, thrown by a drunk guy, but it had hit her.  She couldn’t believe what had just happened.  She was sure her hand was covered in blood at this point; she didn’t even want to know what her face looked like.  “Did I get busted open?” she asked, even though she was well aware of the answer.  She needed someone else to confirm it so this all felt real and not like a nightmare.

“Yeah,” Jason said softly.  “Listen, if that dipshit isn’t gonna call the cops or paramedics, I want to clean it before we go to the walk-in.  Your face has a lot of blood on it.”

Aberdeen nodded her head slightly.  There was nothing else she could do, really.  It wasn’t like she was going to reject any medical attention, from Jason or otherwise.  “Is it gonna hurt?” she asked.

“Of course it’ll hurt, but I don’t want any of the blood to crust and dry,” he said. 

“Am I gonna need stitches?  I’ve never gotten stitches before.”

“Move your hand a bit and let me see,” Jason said.  She moved her hand the slightest bit, too scared to move it anymore out of fear that blood would gush out like some Halloween decoration, and Jason looked up close.  “Yeah, probably,” he deadpanned.  William winced at the thought.

“Oh, Jesus.  Is it gonna scar?”

“No.  Not deep enough to scar.  At least not to me,” he said.  She trusted him, if only because he was a father of four and had been around the block a few times.  He cleaned her face as much as he could of the blood that had streamed down.  She watched as he got some alcohol and put it onto a pad, prepped a sterile gauze, and whatever else he needed.    Now, are you ready?” he asked.  

“I guess so,” Aberdeen braced herself.  She took her hand off the injury, relieved that no blood gushed onto Jason’s shirt.  “On three, okay?” she asked.  Jason nodded his head.  She began to count.  “One…two—”

She let out a guttural scream as Jason put the rubbing alcohol on her early so she wouldn’t wince away.  It fucking stung.  The sound that escaped her made Will’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach.  He never wanted to hear it again.  When he looked over, she was writhing on the toilet seat.  Even Jason’s face was pained at her screams, but he was doing what he needed to do.  After doing as much as he could, he took one last look at it before putting the sterile gauze on it, grabbing Aberdeen’s hand to hold it against the cut.  

“You ready to go to emerge?” Jason asked.

Tears had streamed down her face at this point.  She didn’t have a good tolerance for pain.  She nodded her head.  “Let’s go.”

***

It was just past two in the morning before an emergency room doctor saw Aberdeen.  Jason had called Jen to let her know what happened and let her know that he was going to be extra late, and William…well, William was silent.  He was still red with rage as they sat in the emergency room, with Jason and Aberdeen making conversation, but he was silent.  Truthfully, all Aberdeen wanted to do was hug him, hold his hand, and nestle into him, but she couldn’t.  It would have made things a hundred times better, but Jason being there meant that it was impossible.  She noticed William’s silence from the moment they were in the washroom at the awful place and Jason had cleaned the wound.  She was hoping that he wasn’t blaming himself.

“So, Miss Bloom, what happened here?” Dr. Behari asked as she sat on the gurney, Jason and William standing near her with their arms crossed.  

“Some guy at a bar threw a glass and it hit me,” Aberdeen explained simply.  “I think I’m going to need stitches.”

The doctor nodded, then looked towards Jason and William.  “And you’re her bodyguards?” he joked.

Jason smiled, but William didn’t.  “Friends,” Jason said.  “I cleaned it up a bit with rubbing alcohol at the bar, doctor.  I – It was the only thing I could think to do.”

The doctor nodded, stepping closer towards Aberdeen.  “Let me take a look, Miss Bloom, and I can clean it and see if you need stitches.”  Aberdeen took her hand and the gauze off the cut and the doctor put on his gloves.  “Aallllllright…” he mumbled as he checked it, Aberdeen wincing in pain slightly as he pressed down on it.  “You’ve got no residual glass in it, which is great.  All we have to do is clean it up and give you some stitches.”

The thought of stitches made Aberdeen a bit woozy.  She tried not to think about what they’d have to do.  “Is it a deep cut?  Like is it gonna scar?” she asked.

“Not a deep cut at all,” the doctor shook his head.  “I’m only putting it one layer of stitches.  You’ll probably have the slightest scar once it’s all healed but it’s easily covered with makeup, and due to placement, it won’t be too noticeable.”  Suddenly, the curtain that blocked off the room opened, and some supplies and medical equipment were ushered in.  Jason and William looked to see everything that Dr. Behari would need laid out on the tray.  “Ah!  Here we go.  Have you ever received stitches before, Miss Bloom?”

“No sir.”

“Think of it as me putting this beautiful masterpiece of a face back together,” he joked, causing Aberdeen and Jason to laugh.  William still wasn’t laughing, and Jason took notice.  

“You’re great, Doctor Behari,” Aberdeen giggled.  “I’m gonna get a scar like a real hockey player now.”

“Ahhhhh, so you guys are hockey players, huh?” he gestured towards Jason and William.  “I’ve stitched up a bad hockey injury once or twice in my day.”

Dr. Behari continued with what he needed to do, cleaning up the wound and making sure everything was well and prepped for the stitches.  The second he picked up the needle filled with lidocaine though, to numb the area so Aberdeen wouldn’t feel the stitches as much, William became more visibly upset.  For the last two hours he looked like he was about to cry, and now he just looked extremely pained, distressed at the thought of what Aberdeen had to go through.

It took Jason intervening for William to stop thinking over and over about when the glass met Aberdeen’s head; the look in her eyes and the blood on her face as she tried to stop the bleeding with her hand.  “Will, can you breathe for me?” he mumbled, Aberdeen and Dr. Behari too deep in a conversation to hear them.

William started shaking his head.  “He needs to be arrested.  He needs to be charged with assault.  We need to find him,” his voice was still trembling.  

“Will, we’re not gonna find him.  He ran off,” Jason tried to reason with him.  “There aren’t even any cameras we can check – the manager said.  We just have to let it go.”

“No.  That’s not good enough,” William was persistent.  “We need to—”

“Listen to me,” Jason said in a low voice, grabbing William’s forearm and turning him away from Aberdeen and the doctor.  They stood right in between the hallway and the curtain sectioning off the room.  “I understand this is personal for you because it’s Aberdeen, but you need to be level-headed right now, because as much as the doctor is making her laugh, she’s gonna see the stitches and probably get scared.  And she’s going to be looking at you to help calm her down and tell her it will be alright.”

William stopped breathing during the first part of Jason’s sentence.  He furrowed his brows, trying to brush it off, and brush off what Jason was implying.  “I don’t know what you mean about this being personal for me—”

“Will, come on,” Jason interrupted him.  “I’m too old to be fucked with.  We all see the way that you look at her and we know you have the biggest crush imaginable on her.  It’s not like it’s a fucking secret.”

“H—How do I look at her?”

“She’s the only person you ever see, Will,” Jason deadpanned.  “But…beyond that.  You have to remember Brendan’s gonna be asking questions tomorrow at the office.  I’ll handle a majority of that but he’s going to want the story from you too and you better be on your best behaviour or else he’ll figure out your little crush and Aberdeen will be fucked.  Do you understand?”

William couldn’t look Jason in the eye anymore.  He bit down on his bottom lip nervously, knowing that he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  “I think he already knows…” he mumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“I think…Brendan already knows about the crush.  At the Christmas party out on the ice I guess he caught me looking and he told me she can’t do anything with me until she leaves, and more importantly, I can’t do anything with her.”

Jason looked like he’d seen a ghost.  “And?”

“And what?”

“Are you doing anything with her?”

Here it was.  William’s first opportunity to lie outright to a teammate, a friend, a colleague, a guy that he looked up to immensely.  Aberdeen had had to do it with Siena, now he’d have to do it with Jason.  His girlfriend was a mere fifteen feet away and he had to deny that anything was going on.  “What?!  Of course not!” he said angrily.  

“William I swear to fucking God—"

“Nothing is happening,” he stressed.  “Jesus, Jason.  How awful do you think I am?  I wouldn’t do something like that to her.”

“Don’t fuck with me Willy.  She’s got too bright a future for you to—”

“I know that,” William stressed.  “I.  Know.  That.  That’s why nothing has happened.  That’s why it’s stayed a crush.”

“You promise me right here, right now, in the middle of this hospital while she’s getting stitches, that there’s nothing going on between you two, or so help me God, Willy—”

“There’s nothing going on between us,” William said bluntly.  He saw Jason’s face relax slightly, meaning that he was buying it.  “I’ve got my crush and that’s it.  But there’s nothing going on between us.  Nothing.”

“Woohoo!  Boys!” Dr. Behari called out, interrupting their conversation.  “Miss Bloom wants to hold one of your big strong hands just in case she feels anything.  Any takers?”

Jason raised his eyebrows at William and gave him a look.  William gave Jason one last look before walked over, stood next to Aberdeen, and offered his hand.  She grabbed it without hesitation.

Jason watched.

***

February 22nd, 2020

“What in God’s name happened to your eye?” Brendan demanded as he got his first look at Aberdeen Saturday morning.  In the town car, Lou had already commented on it.  Now Brendan got to see it, bright and early in the morning before heading towards the office.

“It’s a long story,” Aberdeen mumbled.

“Well we’ve got a long drive to the office.”

She sighed.  She recounted the events of the previous night to Brendan, from Jason and William agreeing to stay back with her, to them going to dinner, to the rude men, to the bottle throwing.  Brendan looked more and more horrified as time went on, and especially angry when she got to the part with the rude men.  They were essentially targeting one of his players, one of his star players, with assault; instead, that assault ended up hurting his executive assistant.  And when she mentioned the no cameras and the clueless bartender, he got really angry, because there was nothing he could do either.  

“And so, here we are,” Aberdeen finished.  “I’m three days out from my 22nd birthday and one week out from my party and I have a giant scar on my face.”

Brendan could tell by her tone that she wasn’t necessarily upset about it, per se, but that she was more so a bit self-conscious about how it looked.  “It’s not that big,” he said, trying to not make it a big deal.  “The stitches will be out soon anyway.  You don’t want to see some of the scars I’ve gotten.  I mean…” he trailed off, pointing to the one on his top lip and the one on his chin, “yours won’t look as bad as these.  Won’t end up as bad as these either.”

“You don’t think so?”

Brendan shook his head.  “No chance.  It’s only three stitches.  Did you tell your parents?”

“Yeah, we FaceTimed so I could show them.  They don’t want me in bars past sundown now,” she giggled slightly.  “I’m going to have to go to my doctor before we leave for Tampa Bay to see if they can get taken out though.  By then it will have been four days.  The emergency room doctor said it should be okay by then.”

“I’ll call Noah and have him take a look at it once we get to the arena,” he said, referring to Dr. Noah Forman, the team’s head physician.  “I’ll call Jason and Will in, too.  To let me know what happened.”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  It was only logical to talk to them about it to.  William had been the one targeted, after all.  “Are you excited for tonight?” she asked, trying to change the subject.  

Brendan shrugged.  “Last time we faced Carolina it was an…interesting game,” he said.  “How much more interesting can it get?”

***

Aberdeen was absolutely horrified.  Just absolutely fucking horrified at what was transpiring in front of her very eyes.  A complete and utter collapse.  Something that couldn’t be real.  Something she didn’t want to be real.  Something that was affecting her more than she ever thought hockey would.  If Aberdeen thought that Penguins game on Tuesday was bad, this was a hundred times worse.  A thousand.  A million. A billion times worse.

The Leafs were losing to the Hurricanes.  6-3.  And who was in net for the Carolina Hurricanes?  Their emergency backup goalie, who was, somehow, also the Toronto Marlies’ Zamboni driver.  Yes.  The Toronto Maple Leafs were losing to a Zamboni driver.  Their own Zamboni driver.

She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.  

Brendan had already left the box.  He’d asked her not to follow him.  That made her incredibly nervous, because usually when he was upset or disappointed about games, she was still following him like a little puppy.  That wasn’t the case now; he clearly wanted to be alone and alone he would be, wherever he happened to be.  

When the final buzzer rang, Aberdeen felt her heart rate go up even more, because it now meant that she did have to go find him.  She didn’t want to be in the locker room right now.  The team needed to be with their coach, and she didn’t exactly want to hear whatever was going to go down in there.  She wanted to remain willfully ignorant.  So instead, she began walking towards the offices, where a part of her knew Brendan would be.

She was quiet as she walked down the hallway and towards her desk.  She saw Brendan’s door almost closed, and knew he was inside his office.  She gathered her things, grabbed her jacket, and took a deep breath.  

She knocked lightly on his office door.  “Come in,” she heard him say absent-mindedly.  

She pushed the door open slowly.  When she revealed herself in the doorway, Brendan’s eyebrows rose slightly.  He was surprised she’d come and find him.  But he didn’t want her to know that.  Most other personal assistants he’d had usually let him be when he did something like this.  But Aberdeen was different.  “Oh, there you are,” he said, his voice low as he cleared his throat.  There were a few moments of silence as he thought of something to say.  “We need to go over the, uh…the proofs for the St. Pats jerseys,” he held out his hand.

Aberdeen was nervous.  He was a bit too calm for her liking, considering what had just happened.  She knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it exactly, but still.  “Okay.  Um, yeah, sure.  I have it right here,” she said as she began digging through her bag with all the files in it.  There were so many to sort through, and she knew she was taking a while.  

“By all means, move at a glacial pace.  You know how that thrills me,” Brendan said.

She pulled the proofs out of her bag and handed them to him.  He took them, a bit dramatically she thought, and opened them up.  “Okay, so…they’re done.  They can be sent,” he said dismissively, putting his signature at the bottom of every page of proofs.

Aberdeen was shocked, slightly.  There was so much back and forth on them because they had to be perfect and now he’d just signed off on them?  “They…they’re done?  So I don’t need to bring them back to the artist and fetch them back tomorrow?” she began to pull out her iPad so she could change her schedule.  

“Well, if you think the team is worthy of even wearing these jerseys and want to convince me to not just scrap the whole damn idea…then yes, fetch away.  You’re very fetching, so go fetch,” he grumbled out with a resolute emotion of nothingness in his voice.  

Aberdeen stopped her movements.  Okay, so he was affected by what had just happened.  And he was going to let it all out now, in front of her, with no-one else around.  No Kyle.  No Sheldon.  No team.  Nobody but her.  As she continued to stare at him, he couldn’t look her in the eye; he was looking everywhere in his office but her, even though she stood right across his desk from him.  “You’ll need to contact PR, um…Leslie, to see what she can do to minimize the press on all this,” he continued, pursing his lips together, looking out into a void.  “Another humiliating loss splashed across the Toronto Sun.  I can just imagine what they’re going to write about us.  The Toronto Maple Leafs lose to a Zamboni driver who works for them.  The most embarrassing loss yet, and it’s under my watch.  Every newspaper in this city should cut me a check for all the papers I sell for them.”  He shook his head, pausing for a few moments to collect himself, and finally looked at Aberdeen.  “Anyway, I don’t…I don’t really care what anybody writes about me.  But the team.  I just…the team.  It’s just another disappointment…another let down.  Another bad game.  Horrible game.”

Aberdeen didn’t know what to say.  She knew this was Brendan’s version of spilling his guts out to her.  This loss had taken its toll on him – was going to take its toll on everyone in the organization, and he was the guy heading the entire operation.  It all fell on his shoulders.  And Kyle’s.  But he was the overseer of it all.  He put the brunt of the blame on himself – not on the players or the general manager.  “Anyway, the point is…the point is…” he cleared his throat.  Aberdeen could see him visually recollect himself.  “The point is, we really need to get these proofs sent first thing tomorrow morning, because I’d like to see the jerseys before they get sent to the players.”

It was weird to Aberdeen how he could just switch like that – from experiencing the lowest of the low to going back to normal again.  She wondered if it was a hockey thing, because Willy did it too – he would be upset after losses, especially bad ones, but it would quickly become dirt off his shoulder.  She held on to her emotions and feelings much longer than them.  “I’m so sorry, Brendan,” she offered.  She knew there was nothing else she could say to him.  “If you want me to cancel your morning tomorrow, I can.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.  Why would we do that?” he asked.

Aberdeen offered a tight-lipped smile.  “Is there anything else I can do?” she asked.

Brendan nodded quickly.  “Your job.”

***

Aberdeen called Siena the moment she was out of the office and walking home.  She’d been okayed to go home by Brendan.  She’d texted Will, but he wasn’t answering, so God knows what was going on in the locker room right now.  She didn’t want to stay at Scotiabank Arena for that very reason.  She just knew it was too much for her to handle.  

She knew it was too much because she was already crying.  Silent tears, but tears nonetheless.  She prayed to God that Siena picked up.

“Hey,” Aberdeen finally heard her voice.  “What’s up?”

“Siena…” Aberdeen’s voice was shaky.  “Siena did you watch the game?”

“No, why?  What’s wrong?”

Aberdeen sniffled.  “I never thought I’d be crying about sports but here I am crying about the Leafs!” she blubbered out.

“Why?  What happened?”

“We just had the most God awful game,” Aberdeen huffed out.  “We lost to our own Zamboni driver.”

There was a pause on Siena’s end.  “Aberdeen, are you drunk?”

“NO!!!” she exclaimed.  “Go check the highlights or whatever.  Go turn on TSN.  It was humiliating.  We’re going to get absolutely roasted.  It’s going to be so bad and—”

“Aberdeen—Aberdeen you need to calm down,” Siena urged on the other end of the phone.  “It’s not your fault, Aberdeen.  And it’s not your problem.  Why are you so upset about it?  It’s not like you’re a part of the team.”

Aberdeen felt a punch to her heart at Siena’s words.  But she was.  Everyone had told her that she was – Brendan, Kyle, the guys, everyone – and she had no reason to think otherwise.  It was hammered into her since the beginning.  For all intents and purposes, she was a member of the team, which is why it hurt her so badly.  Siena didn’t understand that.  Siena didn’t understand how all the traveling together made them closer; how all the guys looked out for her – not in a patronizing way, just…in their own way – like they were her older brothers, especially after what happened at Christmas; how the word family was tossed around so often that Aberdeen really felt that this was a family in its own way, with a bunch of moving parts, often dysfunctional, but a family nonetheless.  Siena didn’t understand any of it.  “Yes I am,” Aberdeen said meekly, offering nothing.  She couldn’t put into words what she’d just thought, and even if she could, Siena, with all her smarts, wouldn’t understand them.  “I am a part of the team.”

“Just sleep on it, alright?  I’m sure everybody is going to forget about it by tomorrow morning,” Siena offered, showing truly just how much she didn’t understand.  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

At that exact moment, a car pulled up on the curb alongside Aberdeen.  When she looked over, she saw William in the driver’s seat.  He was already looking at her.  “Okay, bye,” she ended the call abruptly, stuffing her phone into her coat pocket before approaching and opening the door, slipping into the passenger’s seat easily.

When Aberdeen looked over at William, he immediately noticed her red eyes.  His heart tightened in his chest.  “Why are you crying, minskatt?” he asked.

“How could you not be?” she asked back.

He leaned over the centre console to kiss her.  “Please stop, minskatt.  I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“I don’t know what to feel – what to do – I don’t know what to say to you to make you feel better about this,” she lamented.

“Shhhh shhh shhh,” William kissed her again, bringing his of his hands up to cup her face.  “You don’t need to say anything.”

“Don’t I?”

William shook his head slightly.  “You’re here, aren’t you?” he asked, as if that was enough.  As if that’s all he needed, when really, Aberdeen knew he’d need so much more.  That she would need so much more.  “D’you want to come back to my place?”

Aberdeen looked William in the eye.  He wasn’t asking politely.  He was begging.  She nodded.  “Okay.”

***

Aberdeen was getting scared at how good she was getting at lying.  She’d made up a stupid story about needing to stay late at the arena again for the trade deadline so Kasha would go to bed and not wait up for her.  Kasha bought it.  Aberdeen didn’t even know if she was staying at William’s tonight or if she’d walk into her apartment at three o’clock in the morning again, for the second time in two days.  

(As if William would bring her to his apartment and then tell her to leave in the middle of the night.)

He took her to a tall, glass condo building, only about a ten minute walk from hers but closer to the south core that made him possible to practically walk to all the games if he wanted to.  He held her hand firmly in his once they got out of the car and walked through the parking garage, getting on the elevator.  William pushed the button for one of the top floors.  Of course he’d have a penthouse.  

Aberdeen was still too caught up in her own emotions to realize how big this was – every other encounter had been at her place, and now she was finally seeing his space.  When he opened the door, she was pleasantly surprised at what she was greeted with.  She knew it was rented, and so she half expected it to be kind of dull with no personality, but that wasn’t the case.  There were touches of William everywhere in the apartment – the slight, boyish messiness just adding to it.  Expensive shoes scattered at the entryway.  A few plants that weren’t dead, so she figured they were fake.  A giant, comfy looking couch in the main area with a massive TV that was hooked up to every gaming console known to man.  And pictures.  Lots and lots and lots of pictures everywhere.  All of his family.

She could tell that there was a spare bedroom on one side of the apartment, and she saw a door leading to the master.  William put his keys in the bowl in the middle of the kitchen island, watching her as she looked around his apartment.  “So what do you think?” he asked.

“Do you miss your family on nights like this?  When it’s a really bad game and really embarrassing?” Aberdeen asked, staring at a picture he had of him and him sisters together, holding them all in a giant bear hug as their smiles stretched from ear to ear.

The question caught him completely off guard.  “Of course I do.  I miss them all the time,” he said.

“What do you do on nights like tonight?”

“I sit on my couch and watch TV until I’m not thinking about it anymore,” William admitted.  “Lately I’ve really been meaning to do it with my girlfriend.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile.  Even after a night like tonight, he was still flirting with her.  “Do you have a change of clothes?”

They went into his bedroom – bed messy, but huge; closet overflowing, but orderly; giant floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the other skyscrapers around them – and she changed into a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt that looked Supreme-branded but instead said ‘spaghetti’.  It smelled like him, thoroughly, and the second she put it on she felt like she was being hugged, even though it was about six sizes too big.  They changed together, and when they were done, they made their way back to the living room and William turned on the TV, pulling her towards the big couch.  He made her sit down first before kneeling down between her legs, resting his head on her stomach just beneath her breasts before wrapping his arms around her.  

It was calm.  It was nice.  It was mindless.  William was mindless as he laid there, his arms wrapped around his girlfriend in his clothes, watching TV but not really watching TV.  Aberdeen was mindless as she laid there, running her fingers through William’s hair soothingly, watching TV but not really watching TV.  It was a while before Aberdeen decided to speak again.  “You know, it’s not healthy to not talk about it,” she said.  

She felt William sigh.  “You know I’m not good with words, minskatt.”

“Oh, I think that’s a lie.  You’re great with words,” she said.

“No I’m not.”

“William, every author in the English language wishes they came up with the words, ‘I think about you when I’m not even thinking’, including me,” she countered.

William couldn’t help but smile.  “Those words are only for you,” he said.

“I know,” she said, “but can you please give me some other words so I know that you’re okay?  Because I’m worried.”

The fact that he was making her worried made him compelled to talk.  That was the last thing he wanted.  “I just…I just know that we’re never going to hear the end of it.  And I hate that.  I hate that it’s gonna be the big joke now.  Because hockey isn’t a joke to me.  Neither is the Leafs.”  He paused and Aberdeen was silent, and he knew that silence was urging him to continue.  “It happened because…it happened because they rallied around their goalie.  They protected him.  They had his back.  And we didn’t.  We just…we didn’t.  And I hate it when we do that.  Because I have…I have every guy in that locker room’s back.  I do.  But sometimes it just…” he sighed, shaking his head.  “Sometimes it just doesn’t work out how I want it to.”

Aberdeen had continued to run her fingers through his hair.  She nodded at the end of his speech.  “I’m not going to pretend that I know what it feels like, because I don’t,” she said.  “I haven’t been a fan of hockey and I don’t understand it like you do but I know how much a game like this can affect the group, especially with the media in this city.  But I got emotional about it because I know how much it affects you.  Even if you won’t tell me about it.”

“I don’t mean to not tell you,” William said.  “I just…” he paused again, thinking if he should even say anything.  “It’s that besides my dad and brother, nobody’s ever really…you know, listened.  So I just stopped talking.”

Aberdeen’s heart broke.  At that point, she stopped running her fingers through his hair and forced him to sit up, even though her legs were still wrapped around him, so she could look him in the eye.  She thought about Mike Babcock and what he’d done to Will.  She thought about all the other hockey coaches he had and wondered if they were just as bad.  “Willy…” she said softly, running her thumb along his jawline and lips.  “Willy, I want you to talk to me more.  About hockey.  About your family.  About your feelings.  About everything.  Please.  Please.”

William nodded.  He understood completely what she was asking him to do, and he was going to make a concerted effort to do so, because he loved her.  He loved her so much and he didn’t want to see her worrying about him.  “I will, minskatt.  I will, for you,” he said, kissing her quickly.  He shifted them so she was straddling his body.  “I just have to get used to somebody listening.”

“Willy, I’m always going to listen to you.  Don’t forget that, okay?” she asked, cradling his face in her hands.

He nodded, quickly kissing her again.  The words were coming now, and he couldn’t stop them.  Aberdeen had that power over him.  “What happened the other night at the bar was my fault,” he said.

“What?” Aberdeen’s eyes bulged out of her head dramatically.  “Willy, that was not your fault at all—”

“Yes it was—”

“No it wasn’t—”

“Yes, yes it was,” he said sternly.  “And I couldn’t take it.  I was so mad, minskatt.  I was shaking.  I wasn’t able to stop it or to protect you or—”

“Willy—Willy, stop.  Willy, it wasn’t your fault at all,” she repeated.  “Those stupid guys were drunk.”

“But they were aiming for me.  They hated me.  I wish that glass would’ve hit me instead,” he said, bringing his hand up to her scar and touching it lightly.

“Don’t you dare say something like that.  It was a freak accident, Willy.  There was nothing either of us could do,” she said, hoping he would soon realize it.

William paused for a moment.  “You’d talk to me too, right?  Like you want me to talk to you?” he asked.  Aberdeen nodded her head confidently.  “Were you scared that night?”

Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders.  “Just a little bit.  But you were there.  And Jason.  And when I realized that, I wasn’t so scared anymore.  I’ve been scared before in my life much worse and with less blood.”

William nodded.  “Are you listening?”

“Yes…”

“I love you.”

Aberdeen smiled.  “I love you too.”

They began kissing.  Lightly, at first, and then Aberdeen couldn’t help but stick her tongue down his throat, and William couldn’t help but squeeze at the flesh of her thighs.  As they made out like teenagers on his couch, Aberdeen placed her hands over his and guided them to her ass.  

William giggled slightly into the kiss.  “Aberdeen…” he said in a playfully accusing tone.

“I only want to remember feeling your hands there instead,” she mumbled against his lips.  

William froze.  Suddenly and all at once, her words hit him like shards of glass, cutting him to his very core.  “I’ve been scared before in my life much worse and with less blood.”  Ethan.  She still thought about what happened with Ethan – she still thought about it and it affected her and it made her scared, something she hadn’t admitted to before.  William felt like killing Ethan all over again right then and there, with Aberdeen sitting on his lap.  What affected her wasn’t a physical wound; what affected her was something much deeper.

“Listen to me,” he said, his hand cradling her chin, thumb gliding over her lips softly as she’d done to him earlier.  “Nobody is going to do that to you again, okay?  Not while I’m here.”  

Aberdeen nodded her head.  She believed him completely.

“I mean it, Aberdeen,” he pressed.

“I know.”

“If I ever saw him on the street, I’d fucking kill him for what he did to you.  For how he made you feel.  And I want you to know that, like…you’re not what happened to you.  You’re so much more.  He was a pig who couldn’t see that but I can,” William said.

Aberdeen almost burst out into tears at his words.  You’re not what happened to you.  You’re so much more.  She could have cried right then and there.  But instead, she nodded her head before kissing William again, even more eager this time, wanting to show him just how much she appreciated him, just how much she believed him, just how much she loved him.

[shadowhunterdownworlderhybrid]

Youth (Zukaang)

Summary: Zuko Talks to Ozai and he’s pissed remembering the past. Pretty shitty not Enough Zukaang but hey. 🤷🏻‍♀️

_____

‘Don’t let him win, all he’s trying to do is get in your head’

Is what Zuko repeated to himself when he visited his father down at his cell, the new air to the throne couldn’t really remember why he went there in the first place but Suki was kind enough to pull him out of there when he slowly began to lose his temper.

Which he was working on he may add.

Zuko was drained from the burning anger running through his veins, his blood boiling slowly shifting to lava. That’s how angry he was, that's how close he was to losing his temper.

Ozai always had a knack for getting into his son's head; he always knew which part of his insecurities to put pressure on. As you could tell from Zuko's actions in the past. The Fire lord was still not proud of his actions from the past; he was still angry with himself for trying to capture Aang all because his father said that was his only way to restore his honor. Where was the honor in capturing someone?. Especially when the Avatar was apparently a child who trapped himself into a large iceberg to protect himself and his bison from a late night storm and nearly drowning freezing said self for 100 years getting out only because two siblings had to go out and get food for their tribe.

Zuko huffed through his nose, steam coming out frightening a guard that he walked past.

He tried really, he did. But this is Zuko's father we're talking about, the same father who scarred him. Literally for life. The fire Lord continued his journey down the hall letting his feet lead not really paying attention where he was heading his mind on the man who was supposed to love him not treat him as if he was scum, "you're lucky you were born in the first place." His father's harsh words rang clear as day in his mind, remembering the comforting hug his mother had him trapped in. His mother… Silence… that’s all could be heard throughout the hallways of the palace, he didn’t hold her, leaving when he was young against her. She was trying to protect him, trying to protect herself from a monster that she was forced to marry.

Zuko remembers the overwhelming happiness when he found her, when he reunited with her and found out he had another little sister… he was happy that his mother was happy he was happy that she got the life that she truly wanted that she escaped the place that felt like a big prison to her.

Zuko closes his eyes. The image of his mothers smiling face clear as day with tears in her eyes, she was happy. She was happy to see him and she was happy to remember him. Kiyi was happy to meet him and immediately accepted him as her big brother. ‘ZuZu!’ She would call him with the most cheerful voice.

He took a deep breath exhaling. So much has happened for the past eleven years, the war has ended, Zuko and Aang are dating, Azula is in a mental ward, his father is in a cell and he reunited with his mother. His whole life has just been one big roller coaster, and very traumatic along the way. His hand instinctively went to the left side of his eye feeling some of the wrinkles, bumps and small craters from the heat boils that formed that day.

Zuko didn’t understand how the Avatar liked him like this, that will always be confusing to Zuko. Zuko didn’t like his scar; it was a forever physical memory of what happened.

The fire bender shook his head trying to pull himself out of thought. Stop thinking, stop thinking of him, stop thinking of that day. That’s what he wants you to do. You have to be stronger, Zuko.

Zuko stopped at a pair of double doors opening them, his eyes immediately landing on the monk in the middle of the room. Aang back was faced towards him sitting on the floor. He must be meditating. Zuko tried to keep his breathing steady, carefully walking to his bed plopping his butt down. As much as he wanted to burst into flame as much as he wanted to even throw a tantrum from how angry he was deep inside he couldn’t. What his father said was wrong, it wasn’t true— it’ll never be true.

He isn’t his father he isn’t— he won’t— he won’t force anyone into marriage he won’t hurt those he’s supposed to love he won’t mentally abuse someone and fuck up their youth he won’t mess up his future children. He won’t. He won’t he won’t he won’t!.

‘You seem to forget your place Zuko and whose bloodline you’re attached to. You’ll mess up, you'll hurt those dear to you.’

Zuko grits his teeth in rage resting his head against his palms gripping his hair. Before Zuko could lose himself to the blaring fire in his system a soft hand rested against his shoulder. Zuko didn’t dare look up he knew who it was, he just didn’t want to meet the silver eyes of pure concern he hated that look in his love eyes Aang went through enough things already he already had a lot of things on his own silver plater to deal with, Zuko shouldn’t be one of those things.

He's a 27 year old man with issues, issues he should be able to deal with. He’s not a kid no more he isn’t a teenager anymore.

“Zuko.” Aang said softly his deep voice echoing in Zu’s ears.

Zuko just shook his head.

“Zuzu.”

Spirits why?.

Zuko huffed scrubbing his face trying to rub the everlasting hatred he feels looking up at Aang.

The Avatar had a sad concern look, exactly the look Zuko didn’t want to see. When he looks at that face he sees that twelve year old boy he met all those years ago, he was a child up against a war, a war he wasn’t prepared for. He wasn’t twelve though. Not anymore, he was 22 now dating the damn fire lord his title has only gotten bigger and so has he, he’s actually a good 3 or 2 inches taller than the fire lord.

“I’m guessing your little chat with Ozai wasn’t so pleasant?.” He asked curiously, sitting beside Zuko. Zuko just huffed in response only giving Aang the answer he expected.

“What did he say?.”

Zuko just shook his head.

“Baby.”

“It’s nothing, it was nothing because I know it’s not true. I’m not like him and I’ll never be like him and I know you won’t let me turn into him.” Zuko blew out his shoulders relaxing.

He looked at Aang, a gentle smile gracing his lips kissing him on the cheek making Zuko slightly blush. “You know I will bother you about it later right?.”

Zuko snorted letting out a small laugh.

“Yeah, I know. WhichI love and hate about you.”

——

Zukaang: @truekrisstianity

[ilonga]

Star Wars/Avatar Au

An overall summary of a “star wars characters but in the avatar universe” au that I’ve been developing (more detailed synopsis to come!):

Pretty long tbh:

In this universe, benders are somewhat rarer than in ATLA and when found, are usually taken in by Raava’s Order for training (it’s pretty much completely optional, and no “limiting contact with families” rules like in canon, although usually they do drift apart). Raava’s Order consists of benders of all four elements, as well as the Avatar, and it is tradition that after group training from a young age, a master takes a learner on who bends a different element from themselves, to expand each of their horizons and assure that their bending is not limited by certain styles ascribed to one element. Ceremonial sword fighting is also an important tradition. 

For most of their past, all four nations have been peaceful and friendly. However, as Palpatine (who’s hiding his firebending) rises to power as the Firelord, attacks by the spirits have been spreading across the world. 

Much like in Star Wars, Palpatine amasses more power (over his own nations and over the others, slowly, slowly forming an empire) and eventually places benders of Raava’s Order in charge of various battalions and armies (non benders, or the clones in this universe, but of course they’re not actually clones) to fight the spirits (he’s probably connived with Vaatu and manipulated the spirits as well) as the destruction gets worse and worse. However, as the destruction continues, tensions between benders and non benders also rise, and Palpatine manages to paint the Order as power hungry tyrants who seek to suppress the non benders as they increase their military power. On the other hand, he pushes a view of firebenders as “noble”, “selfless”, and “trustworthy”. This is achieved through subtle propaganda mostly.

Eventually, Palpatine amasses enough power for Order 66, wiping out all non-fire benders and non benders that won’t be sympathetic to the regime. He expands his regime to be global, taking over the other governments (which he’s already slowly been doing throughout the war). He uses his last vestiges of power over the spirits for this, before getting rid of the spirits entirely (to gain the trust of the people: “Look! Now that Raava’s Order is gone, the attacks have ceased.”). He also uses Anakin Skywalker, a powerful firebender who he’s been manipulating for years, to take out Shaak Ti, the current avatar and a native earthbender.

Starting immediately after, he starts to induct (brainwash) firebenders into his new army (as soon as they are discovered, no matter how young). This army helps him keep his iron fisted rule over the nations but also hunts down any benders of other elements and disposes of them. It is “led” (in Palpatine's words, but not in spirit--he sees Anakin as his tool and nothing more) by Anakin, who Palpatine rechristens “Darth Vader” to get rid of the association to the old Raava’s Order.

Luke Skywalker, born just after Shaak Ti’s death, is the next avatar. He grows up hiding his bending, just like his father before him, to avoid being hunted down by the Empire. 

Leia Skywalker (who goes by Organa), is a firebender who also grows up hiding her bending, like her father before her, so she isn’t brainwashed and inducted into Palpatine’s personal army.

Padme Amidala manages to get Luke to Owen and Beru, two old friends of Shmi’s, and Leia to Bail and Breha before being hunted down and killed by Palpatine’s lackeys, who forget to mention that she was no longer pregnant to Palpatine before Palpatine killed them to wrap up loose ends (see, he convinced Anakin that Padme had already been killed, and by the Order no less, by playing up the bender/non-bender tensions, insinuating Padme was a threat to the Order for years and years, and playing up Pong Krell and Anakin’s own traumatic childhood experience).

Eventually, the rebellion grows, and Luke and Leia both join it, along with Han, an orphaned nonbender accompained by a shirsu named Chewbacca. Luke discovers that Anakin/Vader is his father in a reverse of what happened in canon Star Wars, and Anakin, after lots of soul searching and ~big~ realizations, turns double agent and slips information to the rebellion with the code name “Blue Spirit” until eventually he has to blow his cover when Luke is captured and Palpatine orders him to kill the Avatar.

He turns on him, rather dramatically, and in true Anakin fashion gets electrocuted. A lot. He’s trying to distract Palpatine so that Luke can escape, but Luke’s like nah, goes into the avatar state, gets them both out, and saves him with avatar-state-boosted healing.

Anakin physically joins the rebellion, reunites with Obi-wan and Ahsoka, meets Leia, and helps them eventually overthrow Palpatine and the Empire once and for all.

Note that Anakin as Vader in this au is still a semi-decent person, albeit one who’s been tricked and manipulated (and brainwashed and probably tortured a lot) by Palpatine. He was rebelling against Palpatine even before meeting Luke, in subtle ways (like showing mercy, helping kids escape, all that jazz) but almost never in ways that could be traced back to him. He did it more or less subconsciously though. Anakin here is no youngling slaughterer, though he still did kill Shaak Ti and do lots of bad (TM). 

Where are our iconic characters during this story? Or, more detailed info on our darling characters 

Well:

- Anakin Skywalker is a powerful firebender, who had to hide his bending until he was ten or eleven and found by the Order to avoid incurring Watto’s (an earthbender’s) wrath

- Shmi Skywalker is a nonbender (and Anakin has a father, just one who’s probably dead before he’s born)

- Obi-wan is a waterbender, both an adept healer and an adept warrior, trained by

- Qui-gon Jinn, a carefree airbender who dies at the hands of the spirit Maul 

- Padme Amidala is a nonbender but powerful political leader in the Water Tribes who’s often involved in international affairs and has made quite a lot of enemies in her pursuits of peace and justice

- Ahsoka Tano is a spirited airbender who Anakin eventually trains and considers his younger sister

- Shaak Ti is the avatar, a wise leader and teacher of Raava’s Order, and a devout pacifist

- Yoda, Plo Koon, and Kit Fisto are waterbenders

- Mace Windu, Pong Krell (who ends up betraying his army similarly to canon), and Luminara are earth benders

- Aayla Secura and Quinlan Vos are air benders

- Count Dooku (who never fell to Palpatine’s manipulations in this au, but instead died in an early battle against the spirits), and Even Piell are firebenders

- Bail and Breha are non benders and monarchs of the earth kingdom

- Owen and Beru are non benders childhood friends of Anakin who lived in the same village as him

more detailed synopsis of each movie’s equivalent to come later!! I have a lot of thoughts about this, lol

[sokkabaddiebender2021]

Why I don’t think Azula should have a redemption arc

Ok so I know for a lot of people, this is probably going to be something you disagree with, and since it’s a TV show, that’s 100% valid. This is just how I personally feel.

So as an avid fan of avatar the last air bender, I see more then enough content and commentary related to the show. I absolutely love seeing what everyone has to say and I’m all for over analyzing the show because honestly it’s super fun.

The only side of the avatar fandom I really cannot seem to side with are the Azula stans. Don’t get me wrong, Azula was an absolutely incredible villain, and is most certainly one of a kind. Especially for animation, even outside of that, she is a marvel we may never get again.

I actually do like Azula as a villain. She was very entertaining and got more shit done then any other bad guy in the show.

HOWEVER, that does not mean that I like Azula as a person. This is where the water gets murky when it comes to those who defend Azula. This is where I start getting concerned about those who actually defend Azula’s psychopathic behavior.

There is no doubt in my mind that Azula needs serious help. She has a host of mental illnesses (most likely related to bi polar disorder or schizophrenia). Considering Ozai was an absolute shit head, he most definitely put pressure on her that no child should ever have. He pitted her against her own brother and it is quite obvious he actively taught her that being kind was being a weak. I am not saying she should be kicked to the curb to fend for herself. But I am also saying she shouldn’t get a redemption arc as Zuko did.

What makes Azula special is that she is a villain. She is a terrible person who is cruel and uncaring for others unless they can make her feel powerful. For a lot of people who defend Azula, they do not want to admit her cruelty. But actively throughout the series, even as a child, we see Azula’s cruelty.

Example 1

Azula is what, like eleven here and is very clearly happy that her thirteen year old brother is having half is face burnt off. The others in the background have more apathetic expressions, because there’s nothing enjoyable about the situation. The only other person who is joyful at a fucking child getting abused is Zhao, which just goes to show what a degenerate this guy is. If anything this draws a parallel between the two villains, and trust me, being compared to that dude isn’t great.

I am not an expert on mental health and illness related to it, but from what I have learned, I do believe Azula is a psychopath. Yes, she is heavily influenced by her father and culture to believe in wanting power and showing limited mercy and kindness, but the fact that here she actually takes pleasure in someone screaming in pain, is extremely disturbing and telling.

Example 2

As an even younger child, Azula still shows psychopathic traits. After her cousin dies, her grandfather dies, and her mother leaves, all Azula does is smile. It is a chilling moment, and it allows the audience to understand this girl’s emotions and connections to others is not the same as a regular person. Yes, Ozai taught her to not care for others and how to manipulate other people, but you can’t teach someone to enjoy the suffering of others. That is exactly what she does throughout the series (mostly with Zuko).

Now since many people say how Azula should get a redemption arc like Zuko, I’ll have to briefly touch on him as well.

Now there are many hints and more obvious examples in the first season, when Zuko is supposed to be the main villain, that he is not a cruel or evil person. He clearly cares for his uncle, as shown by when he chooses to save him for earthbenders in the Winter Solstice Part 1 rather then pursue the avatar. In the 3rd episode of the show with Zhao and Zuko’s Agni kai, we very clearly see that Zuko is not inherently bad.

Ex:

I distinctly remember this shot because Zuko has this very intense look of utter hatred in his eyes, because Zhao had almost done the same exact move that his father has done to him when he got his scar (something that traumatized him). But what does he do, he doesn’t burn Zhao. He doesn’t burn the man that has done nothing but belittle him and had no problem doing the same to him. Because Zuko doesn’t take pleasure in causing pain to other people. Azula does.

I could go on and on about how the series shows from the start that Zuko is not the real villain of the series, but I’ll save that for another time. Azula is set up from the very start, even before she is formerly introduced, as a viciously cruel person.

Having a redemption arc for Azula would almost be unfair compared to the perfectly crafted series long arc they have Zuko. She wasn’t established by the start like Zuko was to be a character that could earn redemption. It wouldn’t make sense in the context of her character.

Yes Azula is a fourteen year old. But using that as an excuse for her behaviors and actions isn’t right. By that age people should understand what is right and wrong, especially as something as basic as treating people with human decency. I know for myself I was raised in a close knit, homeschooled family who taught me that our family was somehow superior to a lot of people. When I started public school at 14, I began to learn that no, I wasn’t somehow superior to someone because of my last name, I was just a normal kid like everyone else.

Azula doesn’t seem to care to learn differently. She uses the people around her, and eventually, loses them all.

Perhaps, perhaps if she had a less shitty father you could say she would come out better. But you can use that excuse for any person out there who has been abused and continues that cycle. They never should have been abused, but that fact doesn’t matter if they perpetuate the same abuse they once received.

Because they are no longer the victim, but the abuser.

[b-else-writes]

the tiger shark and the sun

My Avatar the Last Airbender/Rogue One-Original Trilogy fusion that literally nobody asked me to sink this much energy into, but is happening anyways.

Read on AO3

Pairings: Jyn/Cassian, minor Baze/Chirrut and Han/Leia, other random background pairings

Rating: T

When exiled firebender Jyn Erso lands on his doorstep the day Cassian, last Southern waterbender, meets the Avatar, she seems just another obstacle in ending the War against the Fire Nation. An obstacle he would willingly remove. But as their paths keep crossing, and the twins discover that destiny and balance are more than they expect, Jyn and Cassian find that they are more alike than they ever thought possible.

Snippet of Chapter One below the cut!

It was sunrise when the message in old Fire Nation code came.

Cassian had risen in before the sunlight pooled across the glacier, and gone to wake Leia in the chief's house. Blearily-eyed, they'd eaten strips of tough seal jerky and seaweed as Leia braided her hair into twin buns. Cassian, as always, threw some food into the water as an offering to his family. Then he dragged Leia out past the edge of the village to practice their waterbending.

"Does he have to come too?" Leia yawned, pointing towards the black mongoose lizard, watching with pale, unblinking eyes. "He's creepy, looks hungry, and he's probably cold."

"Kay will manage," Cassian said. Kay gave a long-suffering huff, but assumed a more alert posture, scanning the horizon. Good.

"How did you get a Fire Nation beast, anyways?" Leia had removed a glove to bend a large orb of water.

Cassian bent the orb away from her, which distracted Leia from looking at his face. "Luck and determination."

Leia snorted. They engaged in a brief tug of war over the orb before Leia split it in half with a well-placed slice. "You've been keeping to your lessons. Well done."

Leia smiled at him. "I'm glad you're back."

So was Cassian. It was easy not to think in the near-blinding white of Alderaan. The mission had been too long. He'd extracted the information, and he'd gotten Kay. He was giving the Southern Tribe some hope that the raids would end and the War could be won. Someday.

Leia splashed his face with water. "Why yes Leia, I have missed you also."

Cassian rolled his eyes. The training devolved into a sloppy combat, before he set her to work on making ice daggers and discs. Cassian slid into the low stance of a water whip. Once again, the water refused to obey properly, splashing back into the ocean. Beside him, he heard Leia grunting in frustration. "How are you so good at these stupid things?"

His face slid very easily into a relaxed smile and his tone lightened. "Practice."

"Well, it'd be easier if the scrolls that survived had clearer instructions."

The weight of this statement hung between them for a few moments, before Cassian said, "Give it time."

In truth, Leia learnt at least five times more quickly than Cassian did. He had little frame of reference, but there was no doubt Leia was a waterbending prodigy. Her pale skin stood out amongst the olive to brown tones of the Water Tribesmen, but there were many pale as her in the Southern Isles between the shores of the Four Nations. After all, Avatar Mace Windu had been from there, and he had been as dark as the Air Nomads. Cassian had been only eleven when Leia's mother had brought her to Alderaan, a dark-haired woman with angry scars along her slim pale neck. And then it had been just them. Only two.

Sometimes Cassian wondered if his little sisters would have been benders too, if they had survived past early childhood. Would he have stood over them, coaxing Ysabel and Juana's pudgy fingers to form the careful shapes? Would his parents have said, mijo, you've done well? Some were hopeful there would be more benders born, but Cassian was realistic. It might be lifetimes before enough children were born to counter what had been lost. They needed to win this War.

Behind him, Kay made a noise.

"Cassian, look," Leia said.

A messenger bird was flying over the horizon, a scroll tied to its back. Cassian knew every bird they used on sight. He had never seen this species before. It was a dull yellow colour, stark against the snow. They watched it grow larger and swoop towards the rookery. Then a Tribesmen emerged, running towards the Chief's house.

"What do you think that's about?" Leia said.

They received their answer several minutes later. Sheltay, one of the Chief's aides, was hurrying over to them. "Come with me," she said. Leia dropped the stream she'd been bending, but Sheltay shook her head. "Not you, Princess."

"Move closer to the town," Cassian said, seeing Leia scowl in annoyance. "Practice bending the snow."

Leia made a frustrated sound as Cassian signalled for Kay to remain by her side. Sheltay gave no explanation as they entered the Chief's house. Breha was seated on great wolf skin pelt in the meeting room, with her lover, Bail, beside her. A few other close tribespeople were there as well, including Breha's advisor, Visaiya, who wore matching bracelets with her Chief. Breha's attendant, Falena, practiced her ocarina quietly in the corner. Leia's hyper-anxious iguana parrot, Threepio, was also present, muttering nervously to himself. Cassian made a respectful gesture to Breha, before taking the only remaining spot.

"Before winter began, we sent a message to an old friend of Bail's in the Earth Kingdom at great risk," Breha said, "The Fire Nation has been plundering raw materials from its occupied territories at explosive rates. It does not bode well. This friend will be bringing…a very special person with him. He arrives in a matter of hours."

Cassian could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He nodded.

Breha smiled. "He apologizes for the lack of warning."

"Cassian, you have watched over Leia for fifteen years now, training her as best we are able," Bail continued, "I am asking you to remain by her side. Keep her safe. Many things are about to change."

"Of course," Cassian managed.

He was unsteady as he emerged from the house. Leia was standing outside, ankle deep in a snow pile. "Well?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

It had been nineteen years.

"The Avatar," Cassian said.

Jyn watched the glacier draw ever nearer. She fingered the kyber crystal around her neck, stroking its surface, worn smooth.

"Thirteen years," she murmured.

The white around them was blinding. There was nothing like this in the Fire Nation, but Jyn was not always certain of her memories. It had been five years since she had been on its shores.

"I still think," Bodhi said beside her, a tremor in his tone, "That this yet another wild chase. I mean, it was some guy that other guy saw in a bar!"

Jyn frowned at him. Her contact at Wohbani was trustworthy, or as trustworthy as starving farmers could be. "What choice do we have but to explore every rumour?"

"Well…anything else? Find the rebels?" Bodhi hazarded. He was fiddling with the googles on his head.

"Don't quote my father at me."

Bodhi met her sharpness with his own. "It's hard not to since he personally assigned me here."

Jyn sucked in a deep breath, allowing the heat of her inner fire to settle. Reining in her temper, she said, "You can tell him all about it when he's on the ship. Soon."

She didn't allow him time for a retort, heading towards the gathered crew. It would work. It had to work. Those horrible yellow eyes would have no choice.

Soon.

[stusbunker]

What Lingers Within: Eight

A Supernatural Fan-fiction Mini Series

Featuring: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Written for: @thisismysecrethappyplace

Prompt: Amnesia

Word Count: 3925

Beta’d by the amazing @itmighthavebeenintentional

Aesthetic by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Divider by: @talesmaniac89

A/N: Set in season 11. Flashbacks are still in italics. Thanks for finishing this journey with me and all your patience! xoxo Stu

Series Masterlist

     Dean woke up to an empty bed, which shouldn’t have been surprising, yet the realization that she wasn’t there beside him kept hitting him harder each day. She was asleep in the room next door; it was both reassuring and torturous having her so close, never close enough.

    He stood outside her room and debated knocking. It was too early, he reminded himself. He let her sleep, like the day before and the whole week before that. Dean cursed Sam for giving her a room on his every path and headed to the kitchen for coffee. She shuffled in just after ten, looking blurry eyed and warm. Her hooded stare burned right through him as he handed her the mug that had already become hers.

    “Got anything stronger?” she mumbled, trying to play tough. He didn’t buy it.

    “You know, we’re not exactly on a strict schedule here. You could even go back to bed--- if you wanted.” Dean dipped his chin, gauging if he could keep prodding or step back.

    “Sleep is dumb, and besides, my room is boring,” she pouted, cupping the mug in both hands.

    “Thought Sammy had that laptop all set up for you?” Dean tried, brow knit in concern. She glanced up at him sheepishly, the heaviness inside reflected in her posture and the silent plea in her all-too-familiar eyes. Dean couldn’t help but soften as he continued, “Right, well, I was going to skip research today. If you’re up for it, we could do some target practice?”

    Just as Dean had returned her small smile, Sam came in with a breathy, “Hey.”

    Dean closed his eyes, unsuccessfully hiding from the disappointment before he turned to look at his brother. “Where’s the fire?”

    “Sandusky, it’s--- probably her,” Sam’s voice was calm, but his eyes told Dean whatever it was, it was bad.

    Dean nodded. “Okay, well, looks like I’m going to have to take a raincheck.” He faced her and saw all the unsaid things staring back at him. Tendrils frayed between them as he had to pull himself away again. “You gonna be okay by yourself? It’s gonna be a long drive, both ways.”

    She rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? I’m gonna be ransacking the place when you’re gone. How much do you think the Men of Letters shit will go for on Ebay?”

    Dean shook his head, even though he felt Sam flinch behind him. “Yeah, well, don’t touch anything that isn’t labeled as safe, alright?”

    “Go on, fight the good fight.” Her eyes sparkled with the forced casualness her wit always brought with it, letting them both off the hook.

    Dean sat in the driver’s seat, squinting in the afternoon sunlight, watching the hospital entrance with growing trepidation. Cas walked out with Sam first, the blood along Sam’s collar the only remnant of his injury. They quietly slid into their respective seats. Dean mumbled a greeting, but continued to stare at the glass doors across the parking lot.

    He ignored Sam’s sad puppy dog eyes and Cas’s perpetual confusion and waited, the keys grew sweaty in his hand against his thigh. She was discharged alongside Sam, though they played it off as a fender bender. Cas explained it all to her, as an off duty officer who happened to witness the ordeal and got them to the hospital in time.

    Dean had little problem bludgeoning her car to back the story up. 

    Fourteen minutes after Sam and Cas made it to the impala, she wandered out of the revolving door and into the life Dean had left for her. His eyes trailed her up and down the rows until she found her crumpled sedan. She fought with the driver side door and he almost got out to help her, but she managed. He exhaled as she disappeared from sight.

    His heart rotted inside his chest, arteries and veins strangled his lungs with the spreading poison. He sniffed and put the key in the ignition. 

    “Dean,” Sam started.

    “Don’t. Don’t say her name.” Dean snapped. “You mention her ever again and I will break your fucking nose, I swear.”

    Sam cocked his head and absorbed the rage in Dean’s words. He side-eyed Cas as they both agreed to those terms.

    Her car creeped behind them as she navigated the overly complicated traffic pattern between the hospital buildings. He gave her three minutes before he eased out of their spot and back onto the road. The only proof of his life with her was shoved into his duffle and buried in the trunk. The proof that couldn’t be written on the back of his eyelids or settled in the bottom of his gut.

    You stopped in the library for your laptop before settling at the kitchen table with a fresh cup of coffee. Your curiosity was piqued and a quick search brought up the horrors that had been unleashed in Ohio.

    ‘Four Dead, Seven Injured in Nursing Home Altercation’

    You scrolled through the news story wondering how this spelled ancient dark being to Sam. In the weeks with the Winchesters, you had quickly learned what hunters looked for in order to sort out the regular awful and the freaky awful. It wasn’t until the last paragraph of the article that your blood ran cold.

    The CNA that had called the cops said a woman in a black dress had been bent over the patient when she came to take the elderly man to the common room for lunch. But when she asked her if she was the patient’s granddaughter, the woman had disappeared. That patient went on to assault the others at lunch with his spork and his fists.

    Naturally, the article questioned the eye witness’s credibility, but you knew better and so had Sam. You suddenly felt very scared for your hosts’ safety, despite their expertise.

     You closed the computer as Dean’s face ran through your thoughts.

    That night you did lunges down the web of hallways, muscles burning and face twisted in effort and bouts of laughter. It was ridiculous and if anyone had been home, you never would have dared, but it felt good to be silly and to use up the nervous energy that had been bubbling up inside since the guys had left.

    It wasn’t that you couldn’t sleep, but rather that you slept fitfully. Katelyn’s voice snarled through your dreams, the feel of her spit on your hand mimicked by the sweat leaching from your body. You gave up after the second nightmare, texting Dean for an update in the middle of the night before you could think your way out of it.

    Amara appeared to Dean fully grown, bathed in shadow. The hollows of her face were almost voids as she whispered in his nightmares. The nursing home was a tragedy they couldn’t stop, couldn’t fix. Amara was growing more powerful and there were plenty of souls in one place to feed from. Wherever she had been hiding, she didn’t wander out for long. It felt off.

    She was the itch he couldn’t scratch in the back of his mind.

    He didn’t want to keep chasing Amara, but the quicker she was off the board the better. It was a selfish desire, knowing he wasn’t fully himself since she had been released, but it aligned with the greater good, so he leaned into the hunt. The text he hadn’t replied to still stared back at him almost three days later. 

    There was no update to give and somehow he didn’t want to disappoint Y/N with a “no news” bullshit response.

     The trail had dried up two days before Sam and Dean headed home, the unwillingness to quit wearing them both down to the edge of constant bickering. They stopped chasing their tails and settled on a couple of days to recoup before easing back into the usual hunts. Dean needed a win, but he couldn’t force Amara out of hiding, and even if he could, they had no way to end her anyway.

     They got in close to eleven at night, creeping into the bunker so not to wake Y/N up. Sam showered first, and Dean sipped on a beer in the library before he decided to grab fresh pajamas and the shaving kit he kept in his attached half bath. But when he went into his room, he found a mound of blankets twisted in the middle of his bed, snoring lightly.

       He felt suddenly self-conscious about the state he had left his room and tried to count back to when he had last changed his sheets. But that worry didn’t stop him from blushing with the rush of excitement seeing her in his bed once more gave him. He gently pulled the door closed, turning on the bathroom room light to let him grab his things. 

      She murmured something in her sleep and rolled over, causing Dean to freeze in panic. He was trained in the art of silence, but since she moved in, it felt like he had gained two left feet. Her breathing returned to a steady rhythm, letting him watch her from the wedge of light he stood in. Once his eyes readjusted he saw that she had brought in pillows from her room, but was only  using his. He chuckled despite himself.

      With a final glance at her sleeping silhouette, Dean left for that shower. 

    You were running through your office, rows of cubicles surrounded you like an endless forest. The click of heels on concrete followed you, despite the banal beige carpeting you were treading. Suddenly everything went dark and then you were looking down on yourself, hands around your own throat as you both inflicted and felt the pressure cutting off your air supply.

    You woke up coughing uncontrollably, flailing in the dark against the non-existent double.

    Your elbow hit something firm and you backed yourself into the corner of the nightstand, trying to escape.

    “Hey, you okay?” Dean’s voice scratched through the dank confusion and you sat up, struggling to cover your chest and tummy with your bunched camisole. 

    “Dean? When’d you get home?” You coughed again, and swallowed thickly.

    “A couple of hours ago.” Dean whispered, propped up on his elbow, he watched you. You slowly made out his features in the dark, pale skin a beacon, hooded eyes and wet lips. He was so beautiful and he was right there.

    “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in here without your permission, it was just so quiet and being here made me feel sa---,”

    “It’s fine, I mean, you’re still a blanket hog, but I know you haven’t been sleeping,” Dean reassured, before he shifted the pillows so he was propped against the headboard. “So, nightmares, huh?”

    His hands rested in his lap, pajama bottoms firmly above the comforter, practically chivalrous. Especially after you had helped yourself to his bed.

    “Yeah, mostly,” you admitted, swallowing once more, the phantom pain had started to ebb with the conversation. “I should go, let you sleep, you had a long drive.”

    “Hey, come here.” Dean cocked his head, beckoning you to him as he opened his arms. You hesitated. Then he tipped his chin, and you were a goner. Awkwardly you situated your body against his chest, his strong arms framed you just so. “That’s better, in’it?”

    You sank into his warmth, refusing to be self-conscious about being half naked in your tank top and sleep shorts, and just relished in the firmness of his body and how it supported yours.

    He breathed in your hair, his lips grazed your forehead, and you squeezed him tighter.

    “I never wanted to be the bad guy. I don’t know what to do now, don’t know how to deal with this guilt,” you explained, staring at the slats on the bottom of the door.

    Dean pulled back to look you in the eye. “You did what needed to be done. That bitch was going to kill you. There is nothing wrong with defending yourself.”

    “I know. It’s just--- this--- being a fugitive is not where I ever thought I’d be,” you admitted, eyes closed in pained shame.

    The moments ticked away, the weight of your words increasing as your breathing fell in sync with Dean’s. His thumb tapped a gentle rhythm against your side, as you rested your head on his shoulder. You were so close you weren’t sure if you were smelling or tasting him.

    “Life on the run ain’t easy.” Dean shifted so your head fell over his heart. “But I do know you can’t lose yourself to guilt. Trust me, there are things that I have done that still keep me up at night. It doesn’t bring them back, it doesn’t undo anything. Except for maybe your sanity.”

    He let out a sad three-beat-laugh. 

    “Just keep doing what’s right. Make the world better in your own little way and hope that someday you’ll find your own absolution,” Dean spoke as if he was a million miles away.

    A moment before you thought better of it, you asked, “Have you found yours?”

    Dean stiffened in your arms and then exhaled, his fingers threaded through your hair. Slowly he relaxed again, his chest and arms softening to the point of you forgetting which parts were him and which bits were you. 

    “Right now, it feels like I might,” Dean whispered in response to the question you almost forgot you had asked. You blushed beneath the implication, the warmth between you intensifying Dean’s natural magnetism. His honeyed voice and steadfast embrace was hypnotic amidst the exhausted chaos of your thoughts. 

    “Dean, I ---?”

    Dean hummed in response before he shushed you. “It’s fine, just try and go back to sleep.”

    You fell silent, the emotions rolling through you in waves of strung out anticipation and tempering doubt. In the end your mind stopped trying to stay afloat and let you sink into the depths of a ragged slumber.

    Then one night, you slept. It wasn’t exactly refreshing, and it wasn’t perfect, but it was something. The fact that you had been crawling into Dean’s bed each night, may have helped. 

      Deep down, you felt the shift in your psyche: a glacial slide, the gradual progress of accepting what you had done which sprouted the fissuring magmic ooze that was hardening you into something new. Forged yet still fragmented, you bent to each sweltering degree as you navigated the impossible almost Dean and you had stumbled into.

      Dean was in love with you. 

       You felt it first when he called you honey and invited you to breakfast all those weeks before. And you knew it the moment he shared your past in a handful of worn photographs. Unfortunately, you just didn’t know if he loved the you that you were becoming or the woman you had been. Your past self, which you didn’t even know. 

      Both possibilities were equally terrifying.

      Winter slid into Kansas like a muddied dog, invasive and messy. Your usual and completely unscheduled call from Michelle told you that you were expected back for Christmas. No excuse, safe for an actual arrest, would suffice. You could almost taste your aunt’s green bean casserole already. You smiled to yourself, imagining Dean in an ugly sweater as Sam, oblivious, would knock his forehead on Michelle’s dubiously placed mistletoe.

      Because, of course, they were invited too. Not that you would have gone without them at your side; they were as much your family now as Michelle and her parents had always been. 

     You hung up without promising your cousin anything except that you would stay safe. Though Dean and Sam were never in the bunker for long, you were fairly certain you could persuade them to take a few days off for a real, home-cooked, holiday meal. You just didn’t know if you would be bringing your roommates/ bodyguards or if you would be bringing whatever it was Dean had become and his brother.   

      That would require you to address the real problem. One far scarier than the temporal question of Dean’s affections.

      You hadn’t let yourself fall for Dean. Not completely. You had been holding your breath, so oxygen deprived that you had developed tunnel vision. And no matter how patient or generous Dean had been, he couldn’t get you to acknowledge the silent, unanswered question in his eyes.

      No amount of cuddles or lips brushed warmly over your forehead or strong arms that held you through the terror of your nightmares had emboldened you to fully reciprocate his affections. You remained simultaneously in his arms and proverbially a day’s drive east.

     The problem was if you let yourself love him, you would be giving him permission to hurt you. Again.

      You had time, you told yourself, before you would be introducing your aunt and uncle to the Winchesters. And you would drag your feet the entire two and a half weeks until then.

One week later   

      The half-truths had grown comfortable, expected, predictable. Dean and Sam would return from a case and Y/N would have food in a crock pot or beer and popcorn waiting for them to unwind before bed. She would duck out early, and then Sam. Dean would have another drink alone, telling himself he’d be brave enough to say something if she turned up at his door again.

    He had too many misgivings about what she’d say. It wasn’t fair to make it about him when she’d get so riled up after the nightmares. 

    It was better to wait for the morning.

     “Dean?” Her voice broke through his internal rationalizing, and he held his breath. She wasn’t upset, no tension nor tears. The look in her eyes felt like a punch to the gut.

    “What’s up?”

    She laughed dismissively, a short trill ending on disbelief. “You didn’t even hear me, did you?”

    “Uh, no, not really. Come on in.” Dean stepped back, letting her in once again with his heart in his throat.

    “We should talk,” she repeated.

    “About?” Dean rested his hands on his hips, straightening himself as he watched her crawl into his desk chair and perch, heels along the edge, as she hugged her knees.

    “Us?” She made it sound like he was slow. His eyebrows shot up; this was happening.

    “Okayyyyyy,” Dean trailed off. She gave him nothing back. “What specifically do you want to talk about?”

     “You’re in love with me.” She smiled that secret keeping half-smile.

      He huffed in exasperation, but couldn’t help but smile back. “Really? You’re sure about that?”

     “Mmm-hmm.” She nodded. 

     “So?”

     “Sooooooo, it’s your turn.” She looked up at him, chin jutted out, challenging.

      “My?” Dean stammered, hand curled at his own chest. “You’re saying--- that I need to---- I don’t know, diagnose your feelings?”

      “Yup.” 

       She was going to be the death of him, that shit-eating grin already creeping up on her lips as she watched him huff and puff and try to pull himself together. He looked at her like a deer trapped in headlights, and she looked back; he felt like he was going to melt under the pressure.

       “I mean---- I don’t---- What do you want me to say?!” Dean chuckled self-deprecatingly. He dropped to the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees as he started at the floor, but finished to her face. “Christ, I know what I want to say, but I can’t say it for you, Y/N. You have to mean it.”

      “And what if I do?” Her feet fell to the floor as she leaned on her palms. She seemed somewhere between coming fully back to him and flying away for good.

    Dean started to let the hope sneak in. “Well, I was kind of thinkin’ you would’ve shown me already.”

    Time stopped.

    She launched at him, and just as he caught her, a notch above the waist, her lips stole his breath. He gave it away willingly, until there was no more to spare.

    Triumph. Relief. Yearning answered.

    Dean’s arms curled around her body, clutching her to him as her momentum pushed their top halves onto the bed. It felt like a dream; Dean wouldn’t open his eyes ever again.

    They tasted and teased each other, lips and tongues, whispers and snickers. She looked down at him like he hung the goddamned moon, and he prayed he’d never do anything again that would change that. He swallowed, not sure what to say next, unwilling to break that impossible moment.

    It just got better.

    She left a trail of punctuated kisses up his jaw and whispered in his ear. “I love you, too, you idiot.”

    In a flash, Dean rolled you onto your back, sliding you fully onto the bed at last. He practically purred as he nuzzled your pulse point before leaving a sloppy kiss behind your ear. You shivered, bolts of electricity shot through your body, burning from the inside out.

    “I--- just let me tonight,” Dean insisted, hands in your hair as he pleaded over your lips. “Please?”

    “Be my guest.” You didn’t know where all that nerve had been buried, but it was reassuring to find your footing after so long.

    He kissed you dizzy, stubble scraping and lips soothing. Slowly you were able to lay down your worries, alongside your clothing. With each brush of his mouth over your body you became lighter, leaving behind the fear and the uncertainty for something you’d never thought you’d get: trust and understanding. 

     True acceptance. 

     You fell into the moment, head first and determined, enjoying the knowledge he had retained of your body as he planted a firm palm over the thick roll of flesh above your mound, holding you in place before he dove in.

    His tongue told you that you were wanted, his fingers showed you how you were cherished, revered. His lips were lingering reminders that he wasn’t leaving again, that you were just where you were meant to be, that he needed to show you all the things he couldn’t say out loud. 

    That you came first, always.

    Bursting and brilliant, Dean saw to it, gentle yet persistent.

    He never stopped touching you, aching to hold you as long as you’d let him. Maybe longer. He crawled his way back up your body, nuzzling your nose with his before you got your mouth back on him. You drank in his now tangy desperation.

     You locked him in the cradle of your legs, telling him you were just as invested, a puzzle completed. Together you found your rhythm, your promises matched and measured. It was everything, and it was easy: no confusion or second guessing, just bliss. Dean’s moan broke on your name, and you felt it as if it had been the thousandth time, not your first. 

     It was you and Dean, forever as it had always been. These feelings had always existed, and they would never leave because not even the host of heaven had been able to snuff them out. They had lingered within you, and now that they were fulfilled, you knew you were going to make it in this uncertain life. 

      Because as scared as you were, you were certain of Dean. And he’d never stopped betting on your ability to keep fighting, to pull through all on your own. 

      His faith in you had seen you through the mess with Katelyn and years of unknown memories. Now you had nothing but time to regain what you’d lost, because lost things always have a way of finding their way home.

Series tags: @tiggytaylor @vicmc624 @kalesrebellion​

General SPN tags: @flamencodiva @dolphincliffs @dontshootmespence @thoughtslikeaminefield  @fangirlxwritesx67 @dawnie1988 @mrswhozeewhatsis @cosicas-cuquis @foxyjwls007 @tumbler-tidbits @defenderrosetyler @ericaprice2008 @princessofthefandomrealm @wingedcatninja

[moderndaybard]

2020 Critmas Fic Day 6

Everything Changed When… (CR C2 ATLA AU)

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The Empire, home to most of the world’s Fire and Earth Benders, has lost the Avatar.

Not officially, of course: officially, the Avtar is ‘in training’ still, but rumors of their death eleven years ago were never really disputed, and it is hard to miss the intense (and invasive) interest the ruling elite have in the wandering Air Nomad tribes in the south of Dynasty territory. (Which, of course, does nothing to ease tensions between the Bender-dominated Empire and the Dynasty that chooses to focus on Spirits and the Spirit Realm to the point of dismissing bending as ‘base’ and ‘distracting’ from the truly important part of life: the inner. In the last decade, shadow wars have occasionally broken into open battle, and the general consensus of the average citizenry is easily summarized as ‘will the Avatar go ahead and grow up, show up, and put a stop to this already?’)

Even the Water Benders of the Menagerie Coast (and, in lesser numbers, in Eiselcross), who have mostly managed to keep a neutral stance even while trading predominately with the Empire, are tired of the whole business and want life (and business) to return to normal as soon as possible.

But for now, and for who knows how much longer, the ‘new normal’ prevails.

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And it is in this ‘new normal’ that the group known as the Mighty Nein have found themselves by finding each other.

Fjord and Jester both originally hail from the Menagerie Coast, the half-orc still struggling slightly with the Water Bending abilities he only recently realized that he has, but patiently accepting coaching and advice from Jester, who has studied the subject despite not being a bender herself, in hopes of connecting with the Water Bender father she’d been searching for for so long.

Then there was Beau, the Empire-born non-bender who has seemingly made it her goal to learn the bending styles of all four elements as forms of hand-to-hand combat (though she is certainly not above a basic, bare-knuckles brawl).

Rarely far from Beau (at least, when she isn’t far from the whole group), is Yasha, an Air Bender with quite the imposing presence. There is no hiding or disguising her connection to the Nomads, despite her reluctance to speak of her home and her past, and the large, quiet woman draws quite a number of questioning glances, despite clearly being too old to be the Avatar herself. (But did you ever see them? Do you know them? Are they from your tribe?)

(It hardly seems likely to the Nein, as the aasimar’s seemingly only pre-group connection had been Mollymauk, the amnesiac water bending tiefling who refused to investigate his own past during his too-short life, after discovering that blood bending came far too naturally to him for comfort—whoever had landed themselves into the grave that he’d crawled out of was not someone he had wanted to know.)

After losing Molly, the Nein had been joined by Caduceus Clay, an earth bending firbolg from just outside the Empire finally ready to experience life beyond his family’s isolated home/graveyard—and hopefully find his family along the way.

Veth, the halfling that is the group’s other Earth Bender, can hardly be more different from the gentle firbolg: quick hands and a quicker mind, inquisitive and intelligent—if occasionally unobservant or even abrasive—fiercely loyal and defensive, and aggressive in her retribution (whether blatant or subtle) against anyone who dared hurt her family, (blood-kin, or the one that she has chosen, has claimed.)

The first of them to be claimed by her had been Caleb, the Fire Bender barely a shell of a man when she met him, struggling to piece himself back together after some past he refused to speak of had torn him apart and spat him out.

(He can still feel it, sometimes—the experiments that were interspersed with the ‘lessons’ in loyalty and proper use of their bending gifts; experiments with the newly-discovered methods of condensing spiritual energy down into crystalline, physical form. Could the crystals be inserted into their bodies, to heighten the abilities they already preserved? Could the spirit within him have some of its power siphoned, made into crystals that could ��share’ his gift with others? Could he be replicated as well as formed, trained?)

(He can still hear them, sometimes—the agonized, dying screams that pierced straight through him, woke him up—but not in time to save them—and woke something else within him, too: the Avatar State, in all it’s destructive potential, and there was not enough will left in him at that point to control it, direct it. He awoke leagues away, exhausted, broken, haunted by those screams, hollowed out by what he had done, become.)

Let the Avatar be dead; I am not he, he had thought as he slunk through shadows and filth, hiding from those who had warped him—who would do so much worse than kill him, if they found him. But he is not so dead as even he had thought, and every day the others bring him more and more back to life. It was long, so long, before he told them, revealed that he was studying them, their techniques, and training himself in secret for the mantle he’d cast aside more than a decade before; so long before he revealed the mess that he is and found himself embraced, not cast aside, before his friends began to train him in earnest, darkly eying the elites who have turned a blind eye for far too long…)

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Yes, the Empire has lost the Avatar…and they will rue the day that he finds them…

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 (Also on AO3, with my other fics)