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signetofworlds · 6 years ago

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The Rolling Tide (Yog-Sothoth)

(art by Satibalzane)

I was mesmerized by the rolling tide

I lay on that shore and gazed into the skies Like a shooting star, my dream was gone I made up my mind I don't want to wake up

-Markus Toivonen, “Celestial Bond”

On all worlds I have visited, the name of Yog-Sothoth is known within the hearts of the populace. Although few could utter it, every intelligent being implicitly understands the concept of a cosmic order, a binding force behind conceivable reality that sits so far beyond their science and rationale as to be incomprehensible but that remains undeniable in its omnipresence. This wholeness is the true name of my inscrutable master, with Yog-Sothoth being nothing more than a simple shorthand utilized by those possessing humanoid tongues and a (mostly) linear understanding of spacetime.

When choosing a religion (if they are even afforded the freedom to do so), most potential disciples will stress the idea of a personal relationship with their deity. They cling to the idea that Osiris or Asmodeus or whatever other strange and mighty being they throw their prayers at cares about their dedication, or at the very least appreciates their contribution. The Outer Gods do not operate in this way, do not trifle with the answering of prayers and observation of rites. Many a poor soul has deluded themself into thinking that their bloody sacrifices somehow matter to Cthulhu or Shub-Niggurath, and never once do I suspect that their beloved masters ever noticed.

One cannot help but ask, then, why we disciples of the Elder Mythos wield powers which can rival or even surpass the delivered-with-a-smile spells of more palatable divinities. As one who has tapped into Yog-Sothoth’s incredible abilities with relative frequency over the last few eons, the best answer I can provide is that beings of the Elder Mythos are powerful enough to exude tremendous divine magic without their noticing. Raw magical energies of obscene magnitude flow from the wake of an Outer God’s path, which is why so many who are exposed to these mind-boggling forces wind up with their minds very thoroughly boggled. When I call upon the complex and incredibly powerful esoterica that enables many of my miracles, I am little more than an ant carrying off crumbs which fall from a great multiversal picnic basket.

The divine magic of a being such as Yog-Sothoth is only powered by belief insofar as one’s personal discipline shapes these energies into a comprehensible form. Whereas most divine spellcasters see their devotion as a source of strength, to us it is a crucial limiter without which our minds would completely break. The immense strength of will one finds in disciples of the Outer Gods is what anchors us to earth, for without such filters of mental stamina we would all be reduced to hysteric babbling (a fate I have seen forced upon too many and that I would wish on nobody). The sagacity of most disciples ties them to immortal, but it keeps us disciples of the cosmos anchored to the mortal.

The question then arises as to why I, a reasonably sane individual by most accounts, would constantly risk losing myself when there are so many more benign gods out there willing to hand over power. The simple answer is that I’m too skeptical to pledge myself to a finite entity, a being that was born from something and will one day pass into nothingness. Even as a child, I could never muster a prayer to any god which the priests explained as having a plan for me, because that meant forcing my view of the universe to revolve around a being which was either finite or petty enough to be miffed if I didn’t do what its priests told me to. Harnessing of the Gate and Key’s power garners not the entity’s attention nor its respect, just as the forces of gravity and magnetism care nothing about how you use them. I approach divine magic much in the same manner that I approach arcane magic, utilizing understanding garnered through study in order to expand my perspective and capabilities within the universe, caring not for concepts such as good or bad but rather craving an empirical appraisal of what lies before me. This of course begs the question of why I would utilize divine magic at all, and my answer is that I am not one to waste perfectly functional reality-warping powers. Ever since my studies of the Dark Tapestry first produced a Sanctuary Spell, I’ve found great use in tapping these energies which even the most knowledgeable arcanists fail to manifest.

The biggest draw for the worship of Yog-Sothoth is none of these, however. What swells the entity’s congregation is the simple fact that once you learn of The Gate and Key’s existence, there is simply nowhere else you can sensibly turn. All other faiths are ruined for you, ruined by the fact that whatever god is slapping you on the back can’t hold a candle to the reality-defining force that is Yog-Sothoth. Disciples are drawn to power, even if that power can’t be bothered to acknowledge the planet you just sacrificed to get its attention.

Besides, taking an hour every morning to siphon a smidgen of eldritch might from an infinitely intelligent, infinitely powerful, infinitely-nonchalant-about-your-existence entity gives one some distinct perspective on your place in the universe.

Yog-Sothoth, The Gate and Key

Alignment

Pantheon

Outer Gods

Areas of Concern

Gates, Space, Time

Domains Darkness, Chaos, Evil, Knowledge, Travel, Void Subdomains Dark Tapestry, Exploration, Memory, Night, Portal, Stars, Thought Favored Weapon Dagger (which is to say that he doesn’t have one. Daggers are just convenient for sacrifices) Symbol Black spiral Sacred Animal(s) None Sacred Color(s) None Obedience Draw out a series of arcane symbols in ink, chalk, or blood while meditating upon the finite nature of your own existence (honestly, if you’ve gotten this far, it shouldn’t be too hard). Gain a +2 insight bonus on all knowledge checks.

Divine Gift The recipient learns of the perfect path to success in regards to one specific goal or task, gaining a +4 insight bonus on all d20 rolls made as part of trying to complete that goal for 1 day. (Note: This “Gift” is not usually the result of Yog-Sothoth taking a liking to you. Every time I or someone else has obtained this gift, it is a consequence of unleashing some particularly powerful and out-there form of magic tied to Spacetime. This is, also how the Signet of Worlds was created).

Boons - Deific Obedience

Evangelist

1: Temporal Initiate: Burst of Insight 3/day, Ally Across Time 2/day, Haste 1/day

2: Magical Insights (Su): The character learns a new spell of every level they are capable of casting, adding them to their spells known or to their source of prepared spells (such as a spellbook or familiar). These spells must be those on the character’s spell list.

3: Facet of the Eternal (Su): You gain a single feat as a bonus feat. You must meet the prerequisites for this feat, but may exchange it for another feat that you also meet the prerequisites for whenever you perform your obedience.

Exalted 1: Spacetime Insight: Hermean Potential 3/day, Twisted Space 2/day, Blink 1/day

2: Probability Mastery (Su): Whenever you roll % dice to determine the effects of a spell or class ability on yourself, you may roll twice and take whichever result you choose. 3: Traveler of the Gates (Su): As a move action, you may teleport up to your movement speed, or four times your movement speed as a full-round action. In addition, you may increase or decrease the size of any portals you create (such as those created through a Gate spell) by 50%. Sentinel 1: Mastery of Possibilities: True Strike 3/day, Mirror Image 2/day, Borrow Fortune 1/day

2: Forewarned is Forearmed (Su): You gain the uncanny dodge and improved uncanny dodge class features as a monk of your character level. In addition, you can always act in the surprise round even if you fail to make a Perception roll to notice a foe, but you are still considered flat-footed until you take an action. 3: Path to Victory (Su): You have learned to witness many possibilities at once, picking and choosing the ones which you feel will lead to your greatest success in combat. Once per round, you may reroll a single attack roll or damage roll and take the higher of the two results.

For Followers of Yog-Sothoth

Archetypes

Chronomancer (Wizard. It’s just good sense really)

Elder Mythos Cultists (Cleric, because some fools just can’t handle their unbelievable power)

Portal Seeker (Investigator) Secret Broker (Occultist)

Stargazer (Oracle) Feats

Dimensional Agility Dreamed Secrets

Eldritch Eye

Practiced Ritualist

Magic Items

Ring Gates Monsters Ancient Ones

Hounds of Tindalos

Khaei

Spawn of Yog-Sothoth

Tawil At-Umr Spells Akashic Form

Borrow Fortune

Borrowed Time

Burst of Insight

Gate

Haste

Slow

Time Stop

Time Stutter

Traits Arcane Researcher

Horrifying Mind

Lucid Dreamer

Two-World Magic

Unspeakable Bond

Unique Spell Rules

Clerics, Oracles, and Warpriests who have Yog-Sothoth as their patron add Burst of Insight to their spell list as a 1st-level spell, Haste and Slow as 3rd-level spells, and Akashic Form and Time Stop as 9th-level spells.

Inquisitors who have Yog-Sothoth as their patron (don’t ask how they enforce doctrine for a god apathetic to mortal worship) add Burst of Insight to their spell list as a 1st-level spell, and Haste and Slow as 3rd-level spells

Sorcerers and Wizards who worship Yog-Sothoth add Burst of Insight to their spell list as a 1st-level spell, Borrow Fortune as a 3rd-level spell, and Akashic Form and Major Mind Swap as 9th-level spells

Unique Summon Rules

Summon Monster IV: Khaei

Summon Monster VI: Hound of Tindalos

Summon Monster VII: Spawn of Yog-Sothoth

Ancient One CR 22/MR 2

Invincible Hundun XP 614,400 CE Large aberration (chaotic, extraplanar, mythic) Init +10; Senses blindsense 300 ft., detect law; Perception +36 DEFENSE AC 41, touch 23, flat-footed 35 (+8 deflection, +6 Dex, +18 natural, -1 size) hp 380 (27d8+259) Fort +18, Ref +23, Will +21, Second Save

Defensive Abilities block attacks, entropic mind, evasion, negative energy affinity, spacetime shifting; DR 15/epic, lawful and piercing; Immune aging effects, cold, disease, mind-affecting effects, petrification, poison; Resist acid 15, cold 15, electricity 15, fire 30, sonic 15; SR 34 OFFENSE Speed 60 ft.; air walk Melee unarmed strike +32/+32/+27/+27/+22/+22/+17 (4d8+12/19–20 plus 1d6 negative energy) Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Special Attacks befuddling strike (6/day, DC 29), punishing kick (6/day, DC 29), strange attractor Spell-Like Abilities (CL 21st; concentration +29) Constant—air walk, detect law At will—chaos hammer (DC 22), dimension door, enervation, greater dispel magic, mass inflict moderate wounds (DC 24), plane shift (DC 23) 3/day—quickened dimension door, disintegrate (DC 24), quickened mass inflict moderate wounds (DC 24), word of chaos (DC 25) 1/day—orb of the void (DC 26) STATISTICS Str 34, Dex 22, Con 29, Int 18, Wis 23, Cha 27 Base Atk +20; CMB +33; CMD 57 Feats Befuddling Strike, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Dimensional Agility, Dimensional Assault, Dimensional Dervish, Greater Blind-Fight, Improved Blind-Fight, Improved Critical (unarmed strike), Improved Initiative, Improved Unarmed Strike, Punishing Kick, Quicken Spell-Like Ability (dimension door), Quicken Spell-Like Ability (mass inflict moderate wounds), Weapon Focus (unarmed strike) Skills Acrobatics +36, Climb +30, Escape Artist +36, Intimidate +38, Knowledge (planes) +22, Perception +36, Sense Motive +27, Spellcraft +22, Stealth +32, Swim +30 Languages Abyssal, Aklo, Protean (can’t speak any languages); telepathy 300 ft. SQ faceless, no breath SPECIAL ABILITIES Entropic Mind (Ex) An ancient one’s mind is a maelstrom of utter chaos. An ancient one is immune to mind-affecting effects, and any creature that attempts to affect an ancient one with a mind-affecting effect gains 1d4 temporary negative levels (Will DC 31 negates) from entropic feedback. These negative levels disappear automatically after 8 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based. Faceless (Ex) An ancient one has no eyes, but detects infinitesimal gravitic distortions through its skin, gaining blindsense 300 feet. An ancient one is blind and deaf, and is immune to effects that depend on sight or hearing. It subsists on negative energy and doesn’t breathe, eat, or drink. Spacetime Shifting (Ex) Reality constantly reconfigures in the vicinity of an ancient one , correcting the paradoxes the creature’s existence in space and time generates. This causes all attacks against the ancient one to suffer a 20% miss chance, and grants the ancient one a deflection bonus to AC and a racial bonus on Reflex saves equal to its Charisma modifier. Strange Attractor (Sp) An ancient one can activate or deactivate the stafflike strange attractor it carries as a free action. While active, a strange attractor hovers in place, and the ancient one can mentally move it up to 60 feet through space as a move action, to a maximum range of 300 feet. If it enters a space with a creature, it stops moving for the round and that creature must attempt a DC 31 Will saving throw. The creature falls unconscious for 1 round if it fails this save, or is nauseated for 1 round if it succeeds. The space around an active strange attractor twists and warps, trapping creatures within its gravity well. This functions like repulsion but in reverse: creatures within 60 feet attempting to move away from it are prevented from doing so, wasting their move actions (Reflex DC 31 negates). Lawful creatures beginning their turn within 60 feet of an active strange attractor are nauseated for 1 round (Will DC 31 negates). Nausea caused by a strange attractor is a mind-affecting effect. Creatures with the chaotic subtype are immune to all effects of the strange attractor. The save DCs are Charisma-based. A strange attractor can’t be attacked or harmed by physical attacks, but disintegrate, mage’s disjunction, a sphere of annihilation, or a rod of cancellation affect it. A strange attractor’s touch AC is 18 (+8 deflection), and attacks against it suffer a 20% miss chance. If an ancient one’s strange attractor is destroyed, the ancient one can create a new one after 1d8 hours of uninterrupted meditation. If an ancient one is slain, its strange attractor disappears. Unarmed Strikes (Ex) An ancient one’s unarmed strikes deal 4d8 points of damage, and function as chaotic, magic, and adamantine weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction. An ancient one can make a flurry of blows attack with its unarmed strikes as a 20th-level monk, without increasing its base attack bonus or taking the –2 penalty on attack rolls. This ability also grants the ancient one the befuddling strike rogue talent and the punishing kick hungry ghost monk class feature.

Mythic Feats

Dreamed Secrets (Mythic)

Profound and powerful magics invade your mind

Prerequisites: Dreamed Secrets

Benefits: Increase the number of spells learned from Dreamed Secrets by your tier. In addition, you automatically know the mythic version of any spells you learn with Dreamed Secrets, but casting these spells as mythic spells causes you to take 1d4 points of wisdom damage with no saving throw.

Eldritch Eye (Mythic)

You are attuned to strange energies that move all around you.

Prerequisites: Eldritch Eye

Benefits: Your Eldritch Eye lasts for as long as you desire rather than just one minute. In addition, you can spend a point of mythic power to gain the benefits of True Seeing for one round.

Practiced Ritualist (Mythic)

You handle forces far beyond your ken with aplomb

Prerequisite: Practiced Ritualist

Benefit: You gain a bonus equal to your mythic tier on skill checks to perform occult rituals, and on Intelligence checks to learn the method of casting an occult ritual. In addition, while performing an occult ritual, you may spend a point of mythic power to gain a +10 bonus on a single skill check made as part of the ritual.

NOTE:

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#pathfinder #cthulhu #yog-sothoth #deity #golarion #lovecraft #cleric #mythic #feats #monsters

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rogueofsoup · 3 years ago

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Sasha sat staring hard at the mass of tentacles in front of her, her brow furrowed as she processed its shape. It certainly wasn't baby-shaped, but her mind told her it was. Thinking about it too hard made her head hurt. She shook away the thought and sighed deeply.

"He's just another kid," she told herself. "He just happens to be the kid of an elder god that drives you insane if you look directly at him. He still acts like a toddler, you've delt with MUCH worse."

At least two beady little eyes stared curiously into Sasha's soul from deep within the mass of tentacles. She gave the… 'child' a little friendly smile.

"My daddy could eat you up in one bite," the toddler said unprompted, his voice sounding as if there were three or more children talking.

"He wouldn't like to eat me very much," Sasha said, chuckling kindly. "I'm all bones! Practically no meat on me! I'd be very crunchy."

"Like an animal cracker?" the toddler asked innocently, his eyes(?) full of wonder.

"Yup!" Sasha said, smiling wide. "But a yucky one that tastes like yucky things!"

"Like asparagus?" he asked with such an intensity Sasha couldn't help but smile wider.

"I love asparagus," she said, changing the inflection of her voice to sound like she was telling a scary story. "I eat it every day, so I taste just like asparagus!"

"Ewwwww yucky!" the toddler said, a little tongue blepping out from the mass of tentacles. "I'll warn my daddy not to eat you."

"Good call," Sasha said, nodding. She was proud of herself. "So! What kind of things do you like to do for fun?"

"Take apart animals piece by piece and watch them scream in agony," he said innocently.

"… Oh," Sasha said, reminding herself she's delt with worse. "Well… that would be… too messy…"

"Aww," the child said, disappointed.

"Since so many people use this place, we have to be considerate of others so we can stay here," she added in quickly. "Some kids are very sensitive, and don't like to listen to agony. And those kids have parents even scarier than your dad."

"Do they like asparagus?" he asked, shuddering.

"Yes, but they won't eat me," Sasha said, shaking her head. "They'll do something MUCH worse. They will make my life a living hell."

"My daddy can do that too," he said innocently.

"Your daddy can drive me insane and plunge me into an endless nightmare," she explained. "They can convince the world I'm a monster when nothing has changed about me. They can get me fired and arrested, keeping me from ever getting a job again. They can scream at me whenever they see me and have people think they're the good guys. They won't kill me or drive me insane, but they will make me WISH they did."

"Woah…" he said, flabbergasted by the horrors of humanity. Sasha nodded.

"Karens are the worst," she said flatly. "Wanna learn to finger paint? We have red!"

The eldritch horror toddler cheered excitedly, eager to paint.

At the end of the day before the daycare's closing, a portal opened up in the parents' waiting room. Sasha brought out the cheery little mass of tentacles to his father, holding an outstretched tentacle to lead him.

"Your little one was remarkably well-behaved!" she said as she handed the toddler over to his father.

"Daddy I painted pictures!" he said excitedly, holding up a few pieces of paper covered in adorable but disturbing works of art. "I painted Miss Sasha getting tortured by Karens, and Miss Sasha as an asparagus animal cracker, and you and me holding hands as humanity burns to the ground!"

"Aww, how sweet," Cthulhu cooed, taking the pictures and looking at them more closely. "These are very good! I believe these are going straight onto the fridge!"

"Oh yeah, and don't eat Miss Sasha," the toddler warned, very serious. "She tastes like asparagus animal cracker!"

"My goodness, thank you for the warning!" Cthulhu said, patting his son lovingly on the head. He then looked up at Sasha, his tone changing from the loving coo back to the intimidating voice he had used earlier in the day. "So, dear mortal, what knowledge do you seek?"

"Will I get to see your little one again?" Sasha asked.

"… You wish to have the understanding to predict the future?" he asked in confusion.

"Oh, yeah, that could probably be useful too," she said offhandedly. "I meant specifically, like, are you gonna drop your little bundle of joy off here again?"

"Pleeeeeease daddy?" the toddler begged, holding onto his father's arm and looking up at him with the most pleading look. "I wanna play with Miss Sasha again!"

"… Very well," Cthulhu sighed, nodding. "We shall return to this establishment at a later date. Come along now Yglyth'rr, we mustn't be late for dinner. Mother is making your favorite."

The toddler cheered excitedly as he was picked up and brought through the portal. Sasha waved goodbye, knowing full well that the image of his father was going to haunt her dreams for months.

You’re working your normal shift at a daycare, when suddenly a rift opens. Cthulu steps out, holding a small mass of tentacles. “Care for him today, and I shall grant you knowledge that predates the oldest stars.”

#writeblr #writing prompts #writers #cthuhlu #hp lovecraft

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nightblink · 7 years ago

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Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 33-38

Part Two – New Beginnings Sing

That title alone has me really hyped for this Part, you guys.

Also, Bridge Four as a POV? The entirety of Bridge Four? Sanderson you have given us a gift.

Chapter Thirty-Three – A Lecture

“Dearest Cephandrius” OH OH WE'RE GETTING LETTERS BACK FROM THE DRAGON NOW

That is a great sketch of Urithiru too. We need a person or chull or something down at the bottom for scale, though.

Jasnaaaaaaaaaahhhh

“All she'd done was grope an eldritch spren.” Yeah, and opened yourself in order to beat it back – no matter that the others did the physical fighting, that fact that you didn't pass out on the spot after that is, frankly, amazing.

Shallan, you already know that stormlight can make a Radiant extremely resistant to dying, and you're still this surprised that Jasnah sauntered back into your life?

Like the branch clan, Jasnah is Kholin Extra™

That crystal pillar sounds like a work of art, and symbolic of all ten orders of the Radiants that once lived there. Please please please let us see it infused at some point!

Shallan, your crush is showing again.

A lecture, hah! You are still technically her ward, and its entirely like Jasnah to just slide right back into that pre-established relationship as if nothing had happened.

[hums] The difference from what I can tell is that fabrials aren't powered by sentient spren, but ones that are the nature-forces, with no mind of their own.

Ooo, you're used to being the one giving the orders rather than ordered around now, and the change grates on you. Someone comes back who's always had authority over you and you realize how much you liked the power.

So. About those Ghostbloods, Jasnah…

You've been trying to impersonate an Elsecaller while not even knowing about Transportation, Shallan? That's a glaring oversight.

Ooo, speaking of which, apparently Transport – or at least Transport when the body passes into the Cognitive Realm entirely – isn't so simple as a Teleport spell.

Jasnah has a lot of catching up to do. (And not only with the current state of events, but also the fact that pretty much all of her family save her mother are mentally fraying apart.)

Chapter Thirty-Four – Resistance

YES YES YES TIME FOR DALINAR TO KICK DOWN SOME MENTAL DOORS

Mmm, good choice of vision. It'll let her see monsters and Radiants both, and throw an emotional weight behind the vision that some of the others don't have.

That's. Huh. I wasn't expecting that sort of philosophy from the Stormfather either. That's an entirely new side to him than we've ever seen before.

Heights – or sudden flying – aren't your thing, I see. Then again, after being tossed into the sky to fall and die by Szeth… understandable.

Tell us more about Plate, I need more information on Plate-

Oooo, yes, Navani and Jasnah are used to analysis, picking things apart piece by piece and extracting all the relevant detail. They'd both be the best picks for this – although Shallan with her eye for art would be a good counterpoint in observation.

“You will know or you will not.” That's so very helpful, Stormfather.

Yeah, it's not going the same as before – her involvement will change it differently than yours did.

The Midnight Essence isn't a true creature, but a monster, and you now know that the Midnight Mother is behind these things and the mirror-murders both.

Fling-and-stick! Like an al dente ramen noodle

There's the Queen! Where Dalinar fought his way through this vision, she organized a resistance – and in so little time! Wow, if I didn't already like her before, this would seal the deal.

Yes, best not to mention your little God-is-dead heresy. People haven't been taking kindly to that so far, no reason to assume that Queen Fen will either.

Okay, good, we're getting to the meat of the matter. Fen has very good reason not to trust you, Dalinar, and while these visions are convincing, you need to convince her now. Time is not on your side.

“Am I? Oh, let me storming reconsider, then.” Finally, the honesty straight to his face. And that's the breaking point.

This is another point I'd like so see animated. Passion indeed – Dalinar here is all snapping fire.

Oh my god Dalinar, you are the center of all the hot gossip on the networks. Never mind that it's all blown out of proportion, you did say and do some pretty radical things. Hearing about it from an outside perspective, it really does sound like you went off the deep end – with an enthusiastic leap, at that.

At least Fen might listen now. It's a much better chance than you had before.

Chapter Thirty-Five – First Into the Sky

Bridge Fooooouuuurrrrrr

Sigzil! We're getting Sigzil POV!

The mental image of B4 scrambling up for breakfast from Rock is absurdly heartwarming and just the sort of thing we need to lift the tone around all the other coming-of-the-apocalypse chapters.

Shhhh, you'd look good with an afro, Sigzil.

I keep snickering every time they refer to breathing stormlight as 'eating' the sphere. But oh, that'sa nice detail – the B4 tattos remain, but underneath them the slave brands are healed. Bridge Four is a part of him, but he doesn't consider the slave brands as part of himself, or he's somehow overcome them.

LOPEN PLZ

Lopen is forever a gift to this world.

Awww, poor Sig, annoyed at his height amongst all these 'what-is-under-six-feet' Alethi.

“the other thing”? What other thing. Sigzil. What's up with Teft.

Everyone's dream: to walk in on Kaladin doing morning push-ups, probably with his sleeves rolled up to the elbow

You just need more staff to help handle things, Sigzil, you're just getting pushed to the limits of what you can do with what you have.

Bridge Four getting families yesssss. These people deserve all the happiness they can find.

[snorts] Of course Sigzil's reaction to learning Drehy is gay is “b-but the paperwork!” And Sig, it's not that there aren't forms for that in Alethkar, it's that the Alethi just don't do things the same way as the Azish.

Sigzil trying to emulate Hoid and tell a story! That's actually a really great way to get through to Kaladin. That “Hush” though, hah. The drawback is that you're… not quite as good at this as Hoid is. Then again. Hoid.

What has Teft gotten into.

Oooo, shit, Kaladin, that was harsh.

That's a good point about recruitment, and if some of them actually start becoming full Windrunners like Kaladin as well. I can't imagine they'd want to split off, but remaining integrated with the rest of the bridge crew would be its own set of challenges.

Oh. Oh, Kal, that's not…. That's the same mistake Shallan made, I think.

LET HER(?) FIGHT

Thank you for that echo, Sigzil.

Sigzil does seem the type to want a “proper” hierarchy in place, with clearly set positions. It makes sense to him and gives him a sense of security. Kaladin being referred to as a lighteyes by one of his own bridgemen, though, ooof.

Everstorm Count: 3

Thank the Almighty we have you around to ask these questions, Sigzil. They don't know yet that Dalinar plans to split from Alethkar, but all of those questions still need to be considered, and on a larger scale than just Alethkar.

First into the air, oh, Sigzil

….the royal emerald reserve. The royal emerald reserve. Hooooooly shitto da. Kaladin, you're lucky that Elhokar's got a massive crush on you. Dalinar probably just had to say “for Bridge Four's practice” and Elhokar was already chucking the bags at him.

Chapter Thirty-Six – Hero

YESSSS, FLASHBACK CHAPTER

Wait, twenty-four years? Wasn't the last one something like twenty-eight or twenty-nine? Are… are we not getting Dalinar's early years with Evi? The courtship, even a tiny scene of the marriage? Nothing. Goddamn it, Sanderson, this is a crime. I'm disappointed in you.

Evi liked needlework! Ahh, that's good to know~

Once again she proves herself a snuggler, I love it. And instead of shying away from it like last time, Dalinar's fine with it-

She's pregnant with Adolin she's pregnant with Adolin-! And she calls Dalinar 'beloved'! Asdajfdhjgdhadhjd Sanderson why did you deprive us of their relationship developmeeeeent

So he's still continually itching for a fight, he's just not as bloodthirstily lusting for it anymore. Or he's repressing it. That's… hmmm. I don't think as much of the fight's gone out of him as we're seeing.

'He'd never had a high opinion of dueling.' Oh shit, so how did that colour your early opinion of your elder son's Calling…?

...okay so one, now we know where Adolin gets his perceptiveness from; two, that's a disturbing train of thought. Only alive when he's tasting death on the air. That also explains why he's so relatively subdued at the moment. The fact that she says “like a blackness from the old stories” actually makes me wonder if he is under the influence of something more at this point – perhaps even one of the Unmade.

!!! okay so Rirans have blond hair but still possibly canonically the metallic golden skin tint. I'm still clutching to the subtle!metallics but we'll see how far this takes us

He still doesn't feel any actual love for her at this point. Uuugh, Dalinar, you don't deserve Evi.

Ooo, I can see why Navani dismissed Evi so easily back in TWoK. That sort of attitude on curiosity and discovery is something she'd automatically recoil from.

And Gavilar paid no attention to Navani while she spoke of her passions. That's not a positive indication of the kind of husband he was.

They share enough tenets that the friction between the two religions can pop up almost out of nowhere – they think the other is following their train of thought, and then nope.

Now Gavilar comes in with news of the Rift – they did go there a second time. But why-

You didn't kill the kid. You didn't kill the kid.

Gavilar's not happy, but it's at least giving him a chance to solve things via politics. Which is not going to happen in the end, not if something so terrible happened at the rift that it caused one of Dalinar's own elites to turn to the ardentia.

But in this moment, Dalinar's heart flared for Evi.

Chapter Thirty-Seven – The Last Time We March

….that dragon does not seem at all concerned enough about Odium, and he's just brushing Devotion and Dominion's loss aside as if it were an inevitability, and not even a regrettable one. But how did they “violate [the] pact”, and what did that agreement entail?

MORE BRIDGE FOOOUUUURR

I'll admit that I spent a good few minutes staring at the page and sounding out Rock's name until I got it right.

They're back on the Shattered Plains for a night? I wonder why...

I like the softer feel of contemplation we're getting here. There's less momentum to the writing, but it needed this slow-down. Like the stew, it's a comfort.

Oh ho, this is where they've come to practice! YESSSS. The wind across the plains, whipping through the chasms, the open sky and the high drop of the sheer sides – this is where they practiced before, it's just a new kind now.

Five women! Yesssssss, thank you Kaladin for shoving aside Alethi cultural boundaries on fighting being restricted to men.

Lopen, you are a gem

Rock – Lunamor – should absolutely take credit for that. A good breakfast can set the tone for the entire morning.

“Peet, don't think I haven't seen you glowing.” PFFFFFFT

….Teft is still absent. That's not encouraging.

“their true shapes beyond the streamers” Wait, what? A larger body to the spren? Can Rock see a shadow or echo of the spren as they are in the Cognitive Realm?

[cackles] Introducing Rock to new flavor combinations will save your skin. Messing with his dishes otherwise? You've earned that death sentence.

Lopen oh my god you are the brightest ray of sunshine on the Plains, you crazy, amazing, reckless idiot

Ohhhh, Hobber

Kaladin is a bundle of emotion held together by love and promises and Syl and covered in a stone shell. A thin one.

R o c k you are also a gift unto this world. First you make Kaladin happy then you give us 'airsick lowlander, second class'.

Lopen. I. I don't even. How.

Kaladin, you're going to lose people. I know you refuse to accept it, to save them all, to grieve with acute pain at every loss, but… Rock's right. You being you, though, you'll never accept that. And that's as it should be.

Please take your giant dysfunctional, crazy-ass family to visit the Peaks, Rock. By the point when you actually get the time to do so, they and you will all probably be able to fly up there anyway.

Elhokar! And here I thought you'd have a golden circlet rather than a silver one in order to match your glyphpair.

A few weeks as a timeline before they send in their Strike Team to Kholinar. Mmmm. On one hand, I don't like them leaving the city and its Oathgate under riot and/or occupation for that long, but on the other, they have a much better chance of retaking it if they have a Radiant or few more, or at least a few more squires practiced in their power.

!!! Their old bridge! The actual bridge of Bridge Four! Tough wood indeed.

Of course they brought the cauldrons along. There's more to Bridge Four than just the fighting. There's more to their heart than just courage in battle. Bridge Four was forged around Rock's cooking fire, and that remains part of the core of them.

“a beat he could almost, barely, just faintly hear.” That's as good as confirmed that the Listener blood can run strong enough in some lines that they can sense the Rhythms. Rock, we still need clarification on what those “particular heritage and blessings” are.

Renarin! Speaking of more members of Bridge Four~ Your place isn't with your cousin right now, 'Rin; it's with your Bridge.

Oh my god. Please. We've already had Elhokar psuedo-adoped by a Herdazian matriarch, so can we please get a scene of Rock absconding with Dalinar to have him help make bread.

Why is Glys still hiding? And where? I assume he's in the fidget-box, but that's just an assumption.

Thank the Heralds for Rock knowing how to treat and talk with Renarin. He needs friends who aren't his brother. And Rock… Rock's honest and knows how to state things in a way that Renarin can absorb well.

Ohhh, 'Rin you're thinking that you're not… No. Fix that perception, Rock. He's Bridge Four, he'll always be Bridge Four.

Almost not bitter. But being bitter is an inescapable part of Renarin Kholin. Burning bitterness, biting his tongue, pride, and a wish to be himself but not knowing what that means.

[hums] You want to fight because your father wants it, true, but it's what you yourself want as well, isn't it. And the other things… you eschew them because you don't want to be an ardent, and others assumed, forced those assumptions on you and expected you to follow them, then were confused when you didn't – but did it pain you to abandon things you were naturally good at and maybe even liked?

(You are a light in your own right, Renarin, who you are and who you want to be. Some people already see it. Rock. Adolin. Other people can come to see it too.)

Can we get some Renarin+Rlain interaction now, BrandoSando. Please. What do I have to pay you for it.

Does anyone else think Rock would make a great fellow Truthwatcher? He already sees things that others do not, and has a tendency to see straight to the heart of a matter. Not that those are prerequisites or anything, but. Just saying.

Lunamor please do share that story about your great-great-great grandfather later though please, because some of us want very much to hear it.

Ahhhhh! Are there actual honorspren watching the squires? Perhaps debating making a bond? Yessssssss, come on, do the thing-! (Or at least consider!)

How much interaction do the Unkalaki have with spren, I wonder, with Rock's way of showing reverence so different from almost all the other cultures we've encountered on Roshar?

Not so much animated, but I'd like to see a picture of this scene, Rock heading out with his offerings and bowing deep before the gathered Honorspren, the greatest of them acknowleging him with an outstretched hand and receiving his offering. Lovely.

Oh, oh, is Hobber going to-

HE DID IT

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh Bridge Four

...smoke on the Plains? Trouble?

This bridge run though – resplendent with stormlight, singing their marching beat – what once was a source of terror and despair is a vision of glory now.

Shit, it was an attack by fliers. Without the Alethi armies that once assaulted them, they'll take every chance to pick off what stragglers they can.

Alert, alert – someone on Roshar called a bird something other than a chicken

Yes! Yes! FINALLY WE MEET ROCK'S FAMILY

A wife and six lovely children – six! - but the youngest is too young to even truly remember him, oh my heart breaks for him… And even he thinks of the cracks in his soul that have changed him further from the man they knew than a simple year's passage could.

Oh no, something is wrong on the Peaks, but… isn't that where it's theorized that the Shardpool is located?

The last run of the bridge. It's sad… but a good kind of melancholy.

Chapter Thirty-Eight – Broken People

Time for the next vision-conversation! And this is a vision segment that we haven't seen before, excellent, though so fair it's just a straight-up battle.

“Dalinar smiled to hear a fragment of God cursing.” We all are, Dalinar. It's immensely satisfying to see you surprise this millenia-old Sliver.

Oh, shit, humans fighting for the Voidbringers as well? That's kind of important information, Dal!

Wait. There was no Everstorm in Desolations past? Wh a t

Okay, okay, so amber shardplate belongs to Stonewards (not Bondsmiths, that must be a more golden-ish colour) and that stone-ripple Surge was Tension. Huh. Huh. We need more information on how Tension works, because that was not at all what I was expecting.

“Welcome to my madness, ladies.” DALINAR PL E A S E

'Devices' that provide healing – way back when they somehow managed to create healing fabrials, and that's what the lady Stoneward of his 'midnight essence vision' used the first time he experienced it. That's definitely a piece of equipment that Navani needs to start working on as soon as possible.

Your uncle has a point, Jasnah. He out-stubborned the Stormfather.

Speaking of stubbornness, of course Navani managed to gently bully her way into getting a look at the fabrial

Interesting. I'd expected a conversation about religion considering how they started, but this… this is something that Dalinar would indeed have far more trouble dealing with. He knows his own faith, but all these external lies and accusations keep building up and no one is taking his own word. Of all people, Jasnah understands this the most.

Renarin just got much the same speech from Lunamor, in an entirely different manner.

They've been viewing the old fabrials wrong. Huh. But in what way?

Aharietiam.

Will they see the Heralds here? Or the circle of Honorblades struck into the stone? Could Dalinar have missed the true point of the vision in his first time through, so long ago?

Honor was yet unShattered when the Heralds broke their vow

But. The Stormfather was still a Bondsmith!spren back during the previous Desolations. He's noted as “one of three spren who can bond with humans to create a Bondsmith” in The Pocket Companion to The Stormlight Archive. So. He wasn't a true Splinter back during those days. He's become more powerful since that time.

Oh shit I was right. The circle of Honorblades. They now have enough information to recognise what it means. The Heralds lied.

Navani's world suddenly turned upside down. It's one thing to hear Dalinar claim that 'God is dead', but to see these blades and hear the Heralds lied confirmed by the Stormfather himself? It's earth-shattering.

That's what the Voidspren with Venli meant when it said that their ancestors led them – yet were not alive. They're stuck in a cycle of never-ending torturous rebirth. Fuck.

Each time, the Heralds could withstand less torture. The time between Desolations started to decrease exponentially. Hundreds of years, to tens, and finally less than a year between Desolations? No wonder society could never rebuild itself! No wonder they decided to break the Oathpact!

Looks like even the Stormfather can change, if even a little. As the Nahel bond alters the ones like honorspren and cryptics, even one as great as the Stormfather can feel its effect.

Taln never broke before. All those Desolations, and it was never him. It took him by himself, bearing the entire horror of Damnation for four and a half thousand years to break him.

Damn.

And now because the Oathpact is so weak, Odium was able to create the Everstorm. And the spren of the dead do not return to Damnation.

“Were you to know it, you would abandon your oaths as the ancient Radiants did.” W h a t

What secret was even more terrible than this one. What secret was so damning that the Radiants would kill their spren and leave their own souls split open and unraveling.

#oathbringer spoilers #blink reads oathbringer #and with the morning comes renewed wifi #so I figured I'd post this before I ran off to work

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maculategiraffe · 7 years ago

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When you get this, post ten facts about yourself and pass this ask along to ten of your favorite followers. If you feel like it! This is a friendly, low pressure meme. :D

1. I have grapheme-color synesthesia, meaning I perceive (Roman) letters and (Arabic) numbers in color. A is yellow, B is orange, C is pink, D is red, etc. I didn't realize this wasn't a universally shared experience until sixth grade, when in language arts class we were discussing a story we'd read and I got two characters confused, "Mary Louise" and "Cynthia Parker," and by way of explaining my confusion offhandedly said, "sorry, they're both pink and blue" and everyone was like "...what." I had a whole lot of trouble studying Greek because the alphabet wasn't in colors that made sense to me.

2. I find horses unnerving on, like, an existential level. They give me the whole-body shudders, like one of those Lovecraftian things that Simply Ought Not to Be, that offend mine eyes and sanity by their proportions. The first time I watched the movie Willow and there was this scene where "unicorns" (white horses) galloped in slow-mo towards the camera, I let out this involuntary scream and hid my face and my viewing companion was like "wtf is wrong with you." This is one of the 16 reasons I cannot tolerate the Western genre under any circumstances.

3. I sometimes play tabletop role play games, mostly World of Darkness, with my boyfriend and a small group of friends. The two characters I've grown most attached to are a) a vampire named Alethea who was a bonny lass named Polly Cooper working in an Edwardian-era flower shop when she was Embraced (vampired) by a beautiful seductress calling herself Josephine who was later murdered by a serial killer raised by werewolves, and b) a daughter of the god Hephaestus named Chloe Smith (geddit?) who built an engine so efficient it accidentally tore a hole in the fabric of space-time so she had to team up with a few other gods' children and a human mage-hunter named Anthony who's one of two people she's ever actually (platonically) loved to defeat the eldritch abominations that came through the gap. Alethea is currently trying to wrangle a wealthy and psychotic vampire hunter she Embraced as part of a Machiavellian scheme involving the vampire city council, who adores her so much he's constantly having people he perceives as obstacles to her murdered behind her back, and she's like "Kaspar for fuck's sake, I'm not ambitious, I've lived this long by keeping my head down" and he's like "but now that you have ME you can assume your rightful place as Queen of All Vampires" and she's like "I don't WANT to" and he's like "because you're so endearingly humble and self-effacing but we can fix all that." Chloe failed to save Anthony's life from a cabal of mages so she called in nineteen favors from every supernatural being she knew and went to Hell Itself (kind of? long story?) to get him back, and succeeded, and now her one goal in life is to kill the insanely overpowered mage who killed Anthony in the first place. She's trying to get the other person she loves (her Russian half-brother Kostya, the son of Svarog) to help, but he's like "Сестренка, не будь дураком, this mage is the fucking worst, let well enough alone" and she's like "HE MURDERED MY WITCHER DAMMIT." (Anthony has amnesia about the whole thing and Chloe's fiercely determined to make sure it stays that way so she's barely seen him since the Thing but she watches over him from nearby and it SEEMS like no one's going after him again? but we'll see)

4. I was raised in an incredibly toxic fundamentalist evangelical Christian church, which imploded just before I went off to college because the (married, with five kids) pastor was discovered to have been having a passionate affair with the wife of one of the elders (who also had five kids, everybody was very quiverfull), and have gone through a lot of Spiritual Seeking since, but I adore my current Episcopal church, which takes it as a given that our primary duty as Christians is to love and look after anyone who needs it, in the ways they need it most, as best we can. As such, we educate ourselves and others, which I also love since the Christian culture of my youth was like "don't think about it don't think about it you'll go to hell if you think about it." Also women and "Practicing Homosexuals" (the parlance of my youth) are allowed to be priests and bishops (we have two female priests and three male ones at my church) and the current bishop of the entire American Episcopal church (the first black man to hold that role) is the former bishop of my own diocese, so hometown diocese represent 😀

5. I love swimming in the ocean. I'll stay in the ocean all day until somebody drags me out. I think I have some kind of sense-memory of the womb that activates in the ocean when I'm weightless and being gently rocked. If I'm ever eaten by a shark just know I died as I was born: being agonizingly and unexpectedly ripped from a state of mindless bliss.

6. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Butterscotch, who lived in a tank from which she was constantly escaping. She would take her little hamster wheel, pack the bottom of it with cedar shavings, pee on them to affix them in place, climb the now-stationary wheel, muscle-lift the top of the tank, and squeeze herself out to freedom. She'd do it right in front of me, like, "So? Watch this." She also climbed the stairs in my parents' house by reaching up, gripping the edge of one with both paws, muscling herself up over the edge, and repeating until she reached the top. She was the original American Ninja Warrior and I loved her so much and I cried so hard when she died.

7. I had terrible, debilitating nightmares as a child, which led my mother to purchase a book called Helping Your Child Overcome Nightmares, which was about guided meditation and taking control of your dreams, and I immediately took and read the book myself because it sounded interesting, and I vividly remember the first time I successfully took control of a dream. There was a striped rug in my room and I dreamed that a tiger materialized on it and growled at me, and I said aloud, in my dream, "Pretend the only thing he's afraid of is not being able to see" and threw my blanket over his head and he yelped and kicked and vanished. I used these techniques to great effect after my husband died, when I was horribly, horribly afraid that I'd dream he was alive again and it had all been a mistake, and then wake up and absolutely be unable to stand it, so I'd dream of him and say "I'm really happy to see you, but you're dead, you're not really here" and it seemed like it sort of hurt his feelings but I knew if it was really him he'd understand I had to protect myself.

8. Speaking of my dead husband: we agreed before he died that if there was an afterlife he wouldn't hang around and haunt me, he'd move on to whatever new adventures might await and I'd catch up later if necessary. I explained this to a grief counselor who asked if I'd had any Experiences of the dead one since he died (since apparently that's quite common) and I was like "oh no, we agreed he wouldn't hang around" and she was like "oh well that's... good, then?" and I was like "damn skippy, hopefully he's got better things to do"

9. Speaking of weird dreams: while we were on the transplant waiting list and living in hellish limbo, I did a lot of exploratory dream work, and one thing I did was establish a kind of little shop in the dream world that sold tea and tarot cards and geodes and this lady worked there who would help me with what I needed and supply me for my various exploratory missions in dream space. It was like... near the "entrance" to the dream world, so when I'd lie down with guided meditation I'd go to sleep and come up "near" it. Now hear me out because I swear this is true: years later, YEARS later, I went to New Orleans for the first time-- I'd never been near the place before-- and THAT SHOP WAS THERE. It was the same EXACT shop. Sold tea and tarot cards and geodes and there was a back room curtained off, which was where the lady from my dream always was when I came in, and I was too fucking terrified to ask what was back there and I hightailed it out of there and it's still the most overtly Weird thing that's ever happened to me in real life.

10. The first video game I ever played was Dragon Quest VIII on the PS2, and there was a subplot about a king whose wife had died and he'd been grieving and weeping for two years and the whole kingdom was sad and depressed because the king couldn't deal with his grief and we the adventurers had to go on a quest to find the Moon Shadow Harp and bring back a memory of his wife telling him he was stronger than he knew and him saying "I'd be lost without you" and her saying "no you wouldn't, you're strong and also no matter what I'll always be with you because you love me so much you couldn't ever lose those parts of yourself, the ones that love me, and so I'll always be with you" and I bawled like a friggin' baby, and then I tried another video game (Final Fantasy X) and was like "ugh, so it was just that one video game that was good, never mind" and that was the last time I played a video game until Fallout 4.

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ethelbertpaul444-blog · 6 years ago

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5 WTF Ways Trump Has Been Immortalized As Artwork

It wasn’t his knowledge of programme, his allure, or anything remotely leadership-like that led to the notoriety of Donald Trump. If anything, it was the ease and willingness with which he shifted himself into a walk-to meme, terminated with a fandom hectic originating fanfiction, love speculations( i.e. insane scheme presumptions ), and, of course, tons of bad fan art. Now are some of the weirdest and wildest slice in the current Trumpian artwork action for “youve got to” absorb before they find their way into the National Portrait Gallery. 5 Deep Dream Trump Is Pure Nightmare Fuel While computers are getting better at all that is induces humans so special( like opening openings ), there is one domain where we’ll always using them to outstrip: logical thinking. After all, it’s hard to have a sense of whimsy when a misplaced semicolon can return you into scrap. In information, a very close we’ve come to causing computers a life of unadulterated resource is through “deep learning” — software that resembled how our neutrons shoot and is perhaps the future of artificial intelligence. And like better now humans, we threw computers the knack of originality, merely to squander it on monstrosities like this TAGEND Chris Rodley That’s why you don’t share a teleporter with Muppets. div > This is a penetrating learning interpretation of one of Donald Trump’s lineage photos. And if you’re wondering why Melania looks like Miss Piggy on her action to her third divorce, that’s on purpose. This art is submitted in accordance with artist Chris Rodley plugging photographs of Donald Trump into a deep learn algorithm which was also “looking for images from Sesame Street . ” The outcome is this hellscape of unused faces, googly hearts, and wandering entrusts — plus elements from Sesame Street . Chris Rodley Courtesy of Industrial Light and Horror. It could be a lot worse, though. You could be looking at a video of Trump transformed into an awakened eldritch fright contending against the confines of our universe TAGEND Though on the plus line-up, Trump’s hair has never glanced more in its element. Eric Cheng/ YouTube Oh, like you’ve never had a wookiee sexuality dream. This nightmare fuel was brought into countries around the world by Eric Cheng, who said he formed it by plugging a video of a Trump speech into a penetrating learning algorithm that was simultaneously thinking about Cthulhu. The tier of Cthulhu influence was governed by the volume at which Trump was speaking. We’re lucky that it was one of his quieter rantings. If it had been about minorities or women, that video might have accidentally opened a wormhole into the domain of the Elder Ones. 4 All Hail God-Emperor Trump ! div> To a lot of internet manbabies, Trump is the eventual badass. He’s an ass-kicker and a risk-taker, a street fighter and shot-caller, the person who sets the Big Mac into Mack Daddy. Of course, in order to maintain that panorama of Trump, you have to constantly reject all of actuality . Fortunately, the internet boys help find a direction to readily block out the pesky true by superseding it with hardcore sci-fi devotee story! div > Meet God-Emperor Trump, may his choked arteries reign for infinity. Based on the lore of the favourite tabletop gaming universe Warhammer 40,000 , which is set in a ludicrously dystopian future, the cruddy back of the internet is filled with portraits of Trump as the iconic Ruler of Mankind, immortal lord of the human rights empire wreaking his never-ending fight to the undesirables. Experiences like wit, right? It isn’t. via The Flama via The Flama His armor appears to be made from the Ark of the Covenant, which is suitable, because it starts us want to melt our faces off. div > Sure, it’s pretty weird to pick an terrifying deity of fighting as the avatar for a buster who consumed alleged bone spurs as an excuse to get out of military imperative, but that’s where the total disenchantment comes in. via r/ Warhammer4 0k Robokoboto/ Art Abyss Carrying the skulls of his own allies doesn’t seem ominous at all. div > Read Next Teach Kids The Alphabet With These Medieval Death Prints But the likenes isn’t flattering for either slope. Testifying again that they have the racial revelation of someone who’s been in a lethargy since the ‘6 0s, Trump fanboys seem to not realize that this Emperor of Mankind is nothing more than a freakish monster whose “shattered, crumbling body can no longer reinforce life, ” or that his guideline gave rise to “technological and cultural rights stagnation, and a regression into totalitarianism, belief and religion obfuscation and intolerance.” So God-Emperor Trump is based on some creep who rulers over a dystopia in which mindless, alien-hating radicals sacrifice thousands daily to keep the bloated body of their oppressor ruler get. Maybe they did do their research after all. And to employ the cherry on the foolish neo-Nazi cake, the God-Emperor isn’t, uhm … grey. He was born in center Anatolia( Turkey) in 8,000 BC. Meaning the web fascists have made their white dominance superstar into a space-age Middle Eastern king. Warhammer 40 k Oh yeah, this guy is totes going to preserve the white race, you dolts. 3 The New “Alt-Right” Cartoon Mascot Affection Dressing Up As Trump You already know about Pepe, the cute comic book frog who became a hate representation. But since Pepe has come extremely mainstream, hardcore “alt-right” dudes have created a perfect mascot for the new Trump age: a poorly attracted copyright infringement. via Will Sommer/ Medium “Racist Frog, Reclining Nude” This corpulent little shit-grinner is Groyper. No, that’s not a Trump-inspired new Pokemon( although we understand the confusion ). We’re speak about Groyper the Frog, the MS Paint cartoon mascot for hardcore politicos . He even comes in numerous charming outfits for supporters to represent dress-up with( dog whistle sold separately ). There’s Papa John Groyper TAGEND via Slate “These chests actually contain Thirsty Howie’s.” div > Hulk Hogan Groyper TAGEND via Will Sommer/ Medium Even a special edition “Are you piqued yet? ” Burka Groyper TAGEND via Slate Don’t try to make sense of it. That channel madness lies. div > But amongst the favorite flavors of Groyper stands Trump Groyper, somehow searching less slimy as a lumpy frog TAGEND via Will Sommer/ Medium And the imitation mane on the phony Trump-toad glances little stupid than the real fuzz on the real Trump-golem. So if you’re wondering why all the worst accounts on Twitter swopped up their avatars to this, that’s why. It’s unquestionably not because Matt Furie, the inventor of Pepe, has started litigating the lily-white laces off of any popular enough website for copyright violation. No, it’s because Pepe isn’t refrigerate enough anymore. Not like Groyper, who’s too cool for clas — art school, specifically. Donald Trump/ Twitter 2 The Anti-Obama Oil Painter Now Remembers Trump Is The New Messiah Jon McNaughton is possibly one of history’s greatest masters. Not because he started anything magnificent or profound or thought-provoking, attention, but because his use are some of the goddamn funniest a few examples of theological right-wing bathos. Jon McNaughton First and foremost, why would you plant a tree three hoofs in front a target where people will be sitting? This lovely depict, entitled You Are Not Forgotten , boasts Herr Conditioner and attests that you can’t draw Trump look warm and charisma even if you choose him yourself. But the real glamour of McNaughton’s art lies in the fact that he’s merely a really, genuinely hacky government cartoonist with a better graze stroke tournament. He often boasts about the number of “symbols” he manages to stuff into a single canvas. Now, the topic is unity. That’s why a not-that-keen eye can will recognise that Everyman Trump is tower over a working-class kinfolk( whom he’s fastened) as they embed a flower( which he’s fucking kill) in front of a gather of veterans and soldiers( whom he dishonors ), disabled population( whom he doesn’t care about ), black people( whom he doesn’t like ), various cabinet members( whom he’s shelled ), police officers( whom he’s slandered ), and laborers( whom he doesn’t wage ). div > But McNaughton didn’t determine his refer by trimming half a dozen inches off of Trump’s waist. He became a republican beloved by taking drops on President Obama for a solid eight years. Here’s his interpretation of Obama’s domestic policy TAGEND Jon McNaughton Did you acknowledge the 9/11 symbolism? The situation that happened seven years before Obama was president, when a Republican was in office? His foreign policy TAGEND Jon McNaughton To be fair, Los Alamos does have a really nice golf course. div > His stance on Obamacare TAGEND Jon McNaughton There goes the plan for National Treasure 3. And here again is that classic, boasting Obama trampling over the rights of the very same working man who Trump will later save while all the good Republican chairpeople are screaming at him TAGEND Jon McNaughton “But I wanted to flora a tree there … “ div > Man, Obama really seems like a dick in these likeness. We’re amazed that the nuclear detonation didn’t feign his golf move, or that he escaped unharmed after dipping the Physique in napalm and placing it alight in his hand, although that’s to be expected when you’re Literally Satan. His abilities are truly ceaseless, as is his cruelty … as demonstrated by that time he pressured a soldier to eat a slice of a lesbian uniting cake. Jon McNaughton “It’s not even ice cream cake. Thanks, Obama.” Save us, President Trump! Save us from that tricky black sn- oh, you already have. Jon McNaughton There is an extremely famous pennant advising against this very thing! 1 Barron Trump, Manga Star While Trump himself has a unusually divisive sort of popularity, the same can’t tell me about the Trump brats — Ivanka, Donnie Jr ., and the one who looks like a hardboiled egg with a cheek gather on it. His spawn are nigh-universally humiliated, persistently putting their hoofs in those cavities they can’t ever seem to fully close. But one Trump kid is exempt from this ridicule: Barron, the unassuming, sweet-looking 12 -year-old who actually has to live in the White House with his mom and dad. Doing entertaining of a kid is not the nicest stuff to do, so two feelings masters have gone the other direction, trying to delve into the mind of this quiet son and figuring out the uproar he was required to impression from having the most powerful awful father-god in the whole world — in spectacular manga shape, natch. Yuusuke Hori “At least it’s not a racist amphibian.” div > This very melodramatic segment was announced by master Yuusuke Hori right after Trump’s inauguration. It testifies Barron in sparkly bishonen structure with a designation that reads “My loud, vexing dad is president, so the placid unassuming life I missed is totally over.” It was merely signified as a silly mockup blanket, but because it came insanely popular, we eventually got the for-realsies The Adventures Of Barron And His Loud-Mouthed President Father , i> and it’s everything we’ve ever wanted. Joy Ling Well, except for Trump not to be president, but still. To all the non-otaku out there, TAOBAHLMPF ( created by Brooklyn-based artist Joy Ling) envisions Barron, who really really was intended to “watch Netflix and play Pokemon, ” teaming with Sasha and Malia Obama to solve the puzzle bordering a “mysterious anomaly” that appeared after his father took office — which is not a polite method to refer to Kellyanne Conway. We don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but one of the central conflicts revolves around Barron trying to persuade his father to help situated events right. Oh, that’s liberty, Donald Jerwillickers Trump makes an appearance, or at least the DJT from the universe where he doesn’t is argued that exercising is a liberal scheme to sap his treasured bodily fluids. Joy Ling “Please don’t tell me which flui-“ “Semen.” Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about chilling history that you should definitely subscribe to . i> Art is great for telling some of the tension out, in case that’s a occasion you need to do in this day and age, so maybe pick up some Bob Ross oil depicts ? b > i> Support Cracked’s journalism with a tour to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you . b > i> For more, check out 8 Hilariously Offensive Artworks Featuring Famous Presidents and 5 Unsettling Sub-Genres Of Fan Art Lurking On The Internet . b > i> Follow us on Facebook, and we’ll follow you everywhere . b > i> Read more: http :// www.cracked.com/ article_2 5547 _5-wtf-ways-trump-has-been-immortalized-as-artwork. html http://dailybuzznetwork.com/index.php/2018/05/31/5-wtf-ways-trump-has-been-immortalized-as-artwork/

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ethelbertpaul444-blog · 6 years ago

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5 WTF Ways Trump Has Been Immortalized As Artwork

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