#el hopp

[chornayadrakoshig]

Across the Universe fest finally de-anoned the works today so I can post them outside of ao3 under my username ;)

The second set of aesthetics I did for this fest — a rarepair from Stranger Things fandom, Greatmage. The theme for this one is "Cofee Shop AU" and this diptych is inspired by @1lostsoul0fishbowl AU. The work description on ao3 is actually a translation of one of the snippets she published ^^

Collages posted on ao3 here:

[thefirstlioveyou]

el overhearing/watching byler in the van also gives more reason why that scene look the longest for them to film

[newyorkthegoldenage]

Second Avenue, 1927.

Photo: E.O. Hoppé via the Alan Klotz Gallery

[christianmirandart]

Acabe... Después de semanas de estrés por examenes de la universidad acabe.

Me base en un vídeo de un Tik-Toker que hizo este escuadrón suicida versión Disney.

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Ten

Steve will just have to tell his parents he’s visiting Robin, they already think she’s his girlfriend, so that tracks. Or maybe he’ll just tell them that his shifts are longer than they actually are; but only if they actually show an interest. It’s just as likely they won’t ask. Won’t be interested really, in where it is Steve’s disappearing off too. That’s the most likely outcome, knowing his parents.

Eddie sits upright in the passenger seat, fascinated by everything he’s seeing. It’s cold out, but the sun is shining; Eddie has on his yellow sweater and his shades, his tail wrapped in a blanket, watching avidly as the houses slide past. They’re well out of Loch Nora now, heading towards Hopper's cabin, when Eddie sits up straighter, making an inquiring noise.

Eddie points.

“What is it Buddy?” Steve slows; there’s no one else on the road.

“Upside Down?” Eddie queries, head cocked.

“No. No Buddy. No upside down,” but he turns down the street Eddie’s indicated, curious.

“Upside Down,” Eddie nods, “Upside Down Eddidie tent,” Eddie says, pointing to a house.

“You...you stayed in that house? In the Upside Down?”

Eddie nods, tapping the glass, “safe,” Eddie seems to rethink that, tilting his head, “safe good bad.”

“So...sometimes safe.”

Eddie nods.

“Huh.”

Hopper and El are both sitting on the stoop when they get there, squished side by side on top of the narrow set of three steps up to the cabin.

Steve sighs, “okay Buddy, lets do this.”

Steve goes to get out of the car, but Eddie grabs his wrist, tugging him back, “Stee.”

It’s all he says, but it speaks volumes. He’s frightened. He doesn’t want Steve to leave him here. Steve can’t see his eyes behind the shades, but he knows they’re big and sad.

“It’s not for long Buddy,” Steve turns his hand so he can grip Eddie’s fingers; Eddie holds tight too, “not for long, okay, I promise. And then you can come home.”

Steve can see enough to see that Eddie’s eyebrows are drawn together in a concerned frown, his mouth opens and closes a couple of times, he wants to tell Steve something, he just...doesn’t have the words yet, Steve figures.

“Stee perfect,” he finally settles on, before turning away and carefully opening the car door.

He must have figured out how to do that on his own.

Eddie moves cautiously around the inside of Hoppers cabin. He’s not quite brave enough to touch, but he inspects everything closely.

“He’ll be fine, he’s got his things,” Eddie’s books and walkie are already on the coffee table, his toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom. Steve doesn’t know if he’s speaking to reassure everyone else or himself, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

“Stee?” Eddie asks quietly from the kitchen; it’s open plan, but Steve can’t see Eddie where he’s behind the counter.

“Yeah buddy?”

“Idge food?”

“Yeah Buddy, just like at home, it’s in the bottom drawer.”

Steve sees the fridge door open and, after the sound of a brief rummage, it closes again. Eddie doesn’t appear to take anything though.

“And you sure you’ll be fine on the couch?” Hopper asks.

Eddie cocks his head, “sleep on couch,” Steve clarifies.

“Yes. Eddidie sleep couch. Sleep dark.”

“You got it buddy...look, I’ve got to go, I need to sort the pool but...you be good for Hopper and El, okay?”

Eddie nods, and Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen him more dejected, “Eddidie good.”

The following evening, Steve checks on Eddie straight after his shift. He knows it’s late, nearly nine by the time he gets there, but Eddie was so sad...Steve doesn't want to leave him with strangers for too long.

When Steve gets there, Eddie answers the door and then practically launches himself at Steve.

“Hey buddy,” Steve laughs, dropping into a half crouch so Eddie can give him a big hug, “you okay?”

“Eddidie good. Stee good? Work good? Home good?”

“Yeah Buddy, everything is fine,” Steve doesn’t have it in him to explain to Eddie that right now all of those things are actually objectively shit.

“I think he recognized the sound of your car,” Hopper says from the couch, “he said you were coming before we could hear you.”

“I knew it was you,” El says matter of factly from the table.

“Yeah, well, some of us don’t have super powers,” Hopper grouches back.

Steve laughs, sitting on the other couch, Eddie gets a book off the table opposite El and brings it to Steve, “Eddidie col-or-ing,” he says carefully.

Steve flips through the book, “this is pretty good buddy,” most of it’s pretty spot on too, he even stays in the lines at least half the time. There’s a dog though, that’s inexplicably purple, and Steve is suddenly faced with the reality that Eddie’s never seen a dog before. It’s a bit criminal if they’ve left dogs out of the encyclopedia, Steve thinks vaguely.

“We’ve been practicing,” El brings her own book over, showing Steve the picture of a Christmas tree and gifts, complete with fireplace and stockings.

“Good stuff,” Steve smiles at them both, “good job.”

Eddie preens, “El Eddidie Hopper had lunch,” he volunteers, speaking in that careful way he does when he’s navigating new words.

“What did you have?”

“Eddidie celery, grape, pear. El eggos. Hopper cig-a-rette.”

Steve bursts out laughing, and Eddie grins so big in response, obviously pleased with himself.

Eddie has on a cheap plastic watch, it’s pink and has some sort of princess or something on it, a little kids watch. He shows it to Steve very proudly almost the moment Steve is through the door.

“We’ve been learning to tell the time,” El informs Steve, very formally. Steve is fucking elated. He knows it’s stupid, but since that one bad dream, the thought of trying to teach Eddie to tell the time makes him feel all fucking itchy.

“Hows it going?” Steve sits in his usual spot on the couch; Hops not here, but Steve figured as much, since his car isn’t here right now.

“Eddie, what time is it?” El asks.

Eddie makes a performance of pulling his sleeve out of the way, the tip of his tongue poking out and frowning as he inspects his watch carefully, “two and half soon.”

“Eddie...Eddie that’s amazing. So so good! Well done Buddy!”

Eddie absolutely beams at him, “Stee time to-morrow?”

“You learned tomorrow?”

Eddie nods, “sleep dark, tomorrow,” he makes a movement with his hand, like passing over a bump into tomorrow.

“You got it buddy, and...about four ish tomorrow?”

“Ish? Called ish?”

“Oh it’s...near to four. So,” Steve tilts his hand back and forth, “maybe three and a half, maybe four, maybe four and a half. Around then.”

“Around then,” Eddie repeats, nodding. Being around other people, especially El, is clearly doing Eddie some real good; something inside Steve unclenches as some of the worry leaves him.

It’s cold in the woods around Hopper’s cabin; Steve figures El wasn’t too far off with her Christmas coloring. Eddie wanted to come out here though, and Steve only has an hour before work, so he agreed easily.

It’s not exactly wild, the path Eddie takes him down, it is through the trees, but it’s clear. Like it’s been walked often. After a couple of minutes, Steve sees why; there’s a bench sat next to a tiny little trickle of a stream. It really is a tiny amount of water, no more than if three or four faucets were left running, but it still makes a nice burbling tinkle noise as they sit on the bench together.

Eddie leans over, producing something from half under the bench; it was easy to miss, since it’s all pretty much the same color as the ground. It’s long, thick woven grasses and thin twiggy bits. Winter type flowers and a couple of holly leaves, all woven carefully together. Eddie lays it carefully across Steve’s thigh, both ends hanging down.

“Did you make this?”

Eddie nods.

“Wow Buddy, that’s really cool. Well done.”

Eddie frowns at him, pointing, “Stee.”

“Oh. Oh it’s for me? Like a gift?”

“Gift. Yes. El- Ell tell Eddidie…”

“What Buddy? What did El tell you?”

Eddie seems to struggle for a moment, “gift thank you.”

“Oh. Oh, thank you for what?”

“Safe. Eddidie Safe. Food. Stee. Hawkins Indiana. Pool. Couch. TV. Tent. Book. Touch-”

“Right. Right I get it Buddy, thank you for everything.”

“Every-thing,” Eddie repeats carefully.

Eddie leans over, nudging Steve’s thigh, getting him to lift up, trying to tie the ends together over Steve's jeans, “ohhh...wait no,” Steve stops Eddie, “I guess I’m supposed to wear it, but it’s going to get ruined the second I walk, hang on,” Steve carefully ties the ends together into a hoop, then lifts the whole thing gently, settling the whole thing on his head. It’s very light really, his hair should hold it in place, mostly, “how do I look?”

Eddie looks absolutely delighted, “perfect.”

“You’re being pretty liberal with that word, you know.”

Part Twelve

[the-queen-of-hell-666]

Wanting

Kinktober 2024 - Day 3

Pairing: Alpha!Jim Hopper x Assistant!Omega!Fem!Reader

Kink: Knotting

Word Count: 1000+

Summary: Your new boss won't go home even though he's a stone's throw from his rut but you weren't going to complain.

Warning: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex, vaginal sex, knotting, creampie, rough sex, doggy style, fingering, vaginal fingering, masturbation (m! receiving), breeding, squirting), feral!Jim, porn w/o much plot, a/b/o dynamics

a/n: Here is day 3! This is my first time writing for Hopper and I hope I did him justice! I hope you enjoy!

Banners by @vase-of-lilies

Hopper’s rut was about to come on, everyone in the office could smell it, no matter how many scent patches he slapped on his glands. He was leaking alpha pheromones all over the station, no one else cared that he was stinking up the place cause they all knew Hopper would bite the head off anyone who said anything about him going home. Hopper dreaded the thought of going home to his empty cabin, El was off at college, and his cabin smelled like frustrated Alpha and that was the last smell he wanted. 

He’d rather stay at the station and smell the sickly sweet smell of his new young, omega, assistant. You smelled like lilacs, fresh rain, and something just uniquely you. He knew his smell was bothering you, he could tell when your scent spikes and his eyes caught how your thighs clenched. He could practically smell your slick wetting your panties. He wanted to grab you, bend you over his desk, and make you scream so that the entire station could hear you. 

It was later that night, once everyone went home. Some went home early cause of the smell but you stayed. His smell wrapped you up in a nice safe blanket, like nothing could hurt you. You had files to give to Hopper when his smell spiked with lust and need and you heard a grunt coming from his office. You stood up, the files forgotten on the desk, and made your way to his office door. You peeked between the blinds and saw the most delicious sight you’ve ever seen. Hopper was sitting in his office chair, his slacks open and yanked down to middle thigh and he had his hand wrapped tightly around his monster cock and his knot was starting to swell at the base as he stroked himself from knot to tip, using his pre-cum to slick his way.

Your eyes traveled up to his face and his eyes were clenched shut with his mouth dropped open as small groans and grunts slipped past his lips. Your thighs clenched as slick pooled in the gusset of your panties and your hand moved before you could think and you opened the door. Hopper’s eyes snapped up to yours as the door swung open and hit the wall. He went to cover himself but you were quick to cross the room to him. 

“Don’t cover yourself.” You whispered as you moved to straddle his lap, his cock slipping against your cunt under your skirt. “Wanna see you. All of you.” You purred as your pupils dilated and you ran your fingers through his hair gently. 

He groaned softly as you scratched his scalp softly and his eyes met yours, his eyes as heated as yours. “Once I start, m’not gonna stop.” He practically growled at you making a shiver run down your spine and you ground your hips down against his hard cock making him grunt and jolted. 

“Don’t want you to stop. Want all of you.” You murmured as you leaned down and pressed soft kisses to his neck and you quickly ripped off his used scent blocker and tossed it away. Your tongue immediately pressed against his mating gland and your cloudy eyes locked with his as he looked down at you. 

The next events were quick, before you knew it, your clothes were shreds on the floor and you were pinned in between him and the desk. Hopper was curled over your back and he was two fingers deep in your sopping cunt, making you ready for his thick girth. You keened and ground your hips back on his hand as he pounded his fingers deeper into your quivering cunt. You gripped the desk hard as Hopper curled his fingers and rubbed them against your sweet spot. His other hand came up to your throat and squeezed your throat lightly making your eyes cross. 

“Alpha, please.” You whined as slick ran down the back of your thighs. “Want your knot.” 

He smirked as he nuzzled into your hair and nipped your ear playfully. “Patience, needy girl. Don’t wanna hurt you.” He hummed as he squeezed your throat tighter. 

“M’ready. Please.” You squealed as your thighs tightened around his wrist pinning his hand against your cunt. 

He chuckled and pulled his fingers out of your cunt and spanked it hard, making you cry out with pleasure. “Alright, ‘mega.” He chuckled and leaned closer to your ear. “You asked for it.” He growled before lining his cock up to your cunt and slamming into you. 

You screamed his name and he chuckled darkly and yanked your legs up so your knees were pressed against your chest and your cunt was exposed to him fully. His strong hands gripped your hips tight to the point of almost painful but the pleasure of his cock overpowered it. You keened and squealed as he pounded in and out you fast and hard. His knot swelled at the base as your walls squeezed and pulsed around him. Hopper curled himself over you and turned your face to his and kissed you passionately, muffling your moans and cries. He spanked you over and over again making your end come quicker with each spank and thrust of his girthy cock. 

“A-alpha, gonna cum. S-so close. Can I-I cum? Pl-please?” You whined against his lips as your hips ground back against him. Your walls fluttered as you came closer to your end and you gripped the desk tighter. 

“Cum for me, ‘mega. M’close too. So close. Gonna knot you, baby. Fill you up.” He grunted with each thrust and you cried out as his swelling knot slipped inside and you both fell apart cumming with each other. Your cunt squirted on his cock as his knot swelled locking you two together and Hopper came deep in your wanting pussy. He slid his hands over yours and linked your fingers as you two slumped on the desk, locked together.

[artiststarme]

Goddamn Wheelers!

Hopper was bothering him. That wasn’t necessarily unusual, Hop had been particularly hard to shake since he decided to adopt Steve into his little family. But this was a whole ’nother level of insanity. He’d been wiggling his eyebrows at him and making obscene hand gestures at him all morning and Steve was just trying to eat his breakfast in peace. 

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Steve blurted out. The entire table stilled at his eruption and looked between him and Hopper. Hop just sipped at his cup of coffee, cool as a cucumber. 

“Who me? I’m just wondering why you didn’t introduce us to the girl you’re seeing.” Hopper told him, his expression remaining relaxed and cool. 

Joyce, El, and Will turned surprised eyes towards him. Their interests were piqued. Meanwhile, Jonathan looked like he wished he could be literally anywhere else. 

Steve’s eyebrows scrunched. He was not seeing a girl and he had no idea why Hopper thought he was. 

“I’m not. Why do you think I am?” Hopper’s eyebrows raised. 

“Yes you are! I saw you two in your car last night. Why didn’t you bring her in?” He asked. 

Steve just shook his head. “Why are you so interested in meeting who I’m dating? I’m an adult, I can handle myself!”

“Why are you so embarrassed about telling me you and Nancy are back together?” Hopper yelled at him. Jonathan grimaced and tried to escape but Joyce grabbed hold of his arm to keep him there. 

“Nancy and I aren’t back together!” Steve shouted in response. 

“I know you are, I saw you guys making out in the driveway. Who else has hair that curly?” The air stilled as Steve’s face flushed in horror. Oh god, Hopper saw him making out with Eddie Munson. Oh no. 

He was in too deep now to backtrack so he took a deep breath and looked Hopper in the eye. “... Eddie. I’m dating Eddie Munson, not Nancy Wheeler. Is that okay?”

Hopper’s face broke out in a smile. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“Because he’s a guy and I’m a guy. We’re in a queer relationship. Are you okay with that?” Steve was speaking quietly, cautiously. He couldn’t wrap his head around Hopper’s reaction. 

Hopper huffed out a laugh. “Of course I am. Honestly kid, you could be screwing Bigfoot himself and I would accept it as long as it meant my kids weren't dating a Wheeler.”

Steve saw Joyce and Jonathan look at each other quickly and El shyly glanced at Will. The kid was gripping his fork with a death grip and his face was pale. 

“Um, Hop?” He muttered. 

“Yeah kid?” Hopper still had a wide smile on his face, he looked like he just won the lottery. 

“I uh, I have some bad news,” Will stammered. He glanced at Joyce who nodded at him in support. 

“There’s literally nothing you could say in this moment to bring me down. I’m thrilled!” Hopper laughed. He looked over at Steve who shot him a small smile. Oh boy, if what he thought was coming was coming, Hopper wouldn’t have that smile on his face for long. 

“I’m gay…”

“Will, thank you for telling me that and I will always accept you,” Hop told him.

“... and I’m dating Mike Wheeler.”

All joy fell from Hopper’s face and left behind was the most devastated expression Steve had ever seen. In fact, Steve couldn’t tell if it was a glare of the light or a tear in his eye. As quickly as it appeared, the sadness was replaced with inordinate rage.

“No! Absolutely not! Goddammit, Will! You’re better than this, what does he have on you? Some sort of leverage or blackmail or Upside Down voodoo? I’ll take that kid out.”

"He's been my best friend for my entire life and I really like him!" Will defended.

"Jesus Christ, why are you kids so attracted to that family? All of you now. That's just-that's ridiculous! I guarantee that violates some kind of bro code!" Hop ranted, waving his arms around heatedly.

Perhaps Eddie was rubbing off on Steve in more ways than one because he decided to cause some problems for his own amusement. "Jon is thinking about getting back together with Nancy."

He wasn't but seeing the outrage on Hopper's face was worth it. He opened his mouth to rant at a scared looking Jonathan but Joyce cut him off.

“Alright kids, time for you to go! Have fun today, be safe, listen to Steve!” Joyce ushered them away from the table and out the door. 

Steve, Will, El, and Jonathan practically bolted from the house. They could still hear Hopper screaming about “no good Wheelers” and “that fucking toothpick” and all sorts of other insults as they climbed into the Beemer. 

“Uh Steve?” Jonathan asked him.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, looking over at him. 

“Are these the seats you were making out with Eddie on?” Steve looked back out the windshield and tried to hide his blush. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” 

He drove all the way to the Wheeler house for DnD with groans of disgust and fake gagging filling his ears.

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[gibbsbi]

A Billy kind of love

- Growing up in Hawkins, being close with Steve and Jonathan

- Hopper The Godfather 🤪

- Babysitting the kids growing up

- Moving at 14 because father got a promotion

- Living in NYC and not even a few months of living there, getting r**** and then two years later parents die in a car crash so Maria returns to Hawkins to live with her moms best friend in her old house

- Debbie (the “aunt”) trusts her and doesn’t care how long or where she is seeing as she works long hours and lets her do whatever she wants

- Maria riding her fathers motorcycle around Hawkins and no one knowing who she is

- Summer before her senior year

- Lives on Max and Billy’s street and sees Max one day trying to do a trick on her board and helps her out

- Max becoming quickly attached and introduces her to the group only to find out that they all knew her ( is highkey jealous and becomes clingy af)

- Reunited with Steve and Jonathan and the kids

- Mother figure (sorry Steve)

- Everyone calling her Ma and El becoming so attached she calls her Mom when she doesn’t realize it, when she’s sleepy or in a panic (which is often lets be honest)

- Takes care of her in Hopp’s absence, stays over when Hopp is working late and feeds her actual food

- Hosts Dungeons and Dragons at her house every other week and everyone sleeps over during the summer

- Billy banging on the door only to find Maria opening it in just a tank and small sleep shorts with her glasses on and a zip up hoodie that’s falling off one shoulder

- Shocked for a moment before turning on the charm

- “Hey, you must be Maria right? I’m Billy, Max’s older brother. She never told me you were so gorgeous”

- Maria letting out a small scoff/laugh and telling him about the tradition of sleeping over every other week, eyes lighting up when she tells him what they do

- Him listening attentively to what she says with a small smile and thanking her for watching out for the kids, politely declining her invite to join them for dinner even though he lowkey really wanted to but instead wishes her goodnight and kisses her hand goodbye

- Everyone in shock at his behavior

- Lets Max stay there and for the rest of the night everyone is staring at Maria in shock

- The next day everyone leaves and Maria takes El and Max to the pool in her old pickup truck

- Sets up across the pool, directly in the line of sight of the lifeguard

- Billy immediately noticing it’s the girl he saw last night and sits up in his seat, peering over his sunglasses and bites his lip as Maria peels off her tank top and shimmies out of her shorts to reveal a tight red bikini that leaves little to the imagination

- Glaring at the other people checking her out

- Notices she comes the the pool every Monday, Wednesday and weekend for a couple hours before closing and stays till close when not as many people come unless the kids drag her and makes sure to be working those shifts

- Billy flirting with her at any and every opportunity but to no avail

- “Need some help applying sunscreen gorgeous?”

- “Actually yes please i can’t reach my back”

- Is slightly flustered at her soft skin and the small sigh that leaves her cherry lips

- Dies when he hears her speaking in Italian for the first time

- She was yelling at Hopper

- Noticed how he gets flustered when she speaks in her tongue and makes sure to compliment him in it somewhat often just to see his ears burn red

- Would make any and every excuse to see her and stops by her house claiming to look for Max

- The first time he’s reluctant to come over and get max is because he’s sporting a split lip and a bruise from his father but goes over anyway

- Tries to avoid eye contact and remain cool by keeping his sunglasses on even though it’s dark but when Maria gasps and cradles his face, taking off his glasses, he doesn’t see pity he sees heartbreak and is confused

- Immediately drags him to her couch, “sit”

- Gently cleans up his lip, letting out the softest sorry when he lets out a small hiss and gives him a pack of iced peas to bring down the swelling in his cheek

- “Max! Go to bed I’ll be there in a while I forgot to do something for a class”

- Forces him to stay the night and takes care of him

- From then on would come to her in the middle of the night to patch up and would cuddle with her, leaving a thank you note on her pillow, leaving before the sun came up

- Finds Max’s Walkie-Talkie one day when he hears your voice

- “Max… ple-please….. can….. can’t bre”

- Drops the Walkie-Talkie and sprints to her house, banging on the door but it’s locked so he runs to her window that’s always open and calls out her name

- “MARIA!”

- Finds her collapsed on the kitchen floor half conscious

- Barely coherent she tells him to get her nebulizer in the pantry cabinet and he fumbles around with shaking hands trying to figure it out

- He’s terrified, she’s barely breathing

- When her breathing becomes normal he doesn’t let go, he’s terrified

- She tells him it’s normal, her asthma is really bad and flares up randomly and leaves her so weak and tired

- Picks her up and cradles her to his chest

- “Let me take care of you now”

- Becomes SO protective

- Carries an extra inhaler on him at all times

- Never lets her forget to take it everyday at lunch

- After a really bad episode he confesses

- Cutest couple >:3

- He teases Maria but can’t handle when Maria does it back

- May have screamed when going on her motorcycle for the first time

- Hates the kids for stealing Maria’s attention

- Becomes a better person and has a better relationship with max

- Loves holding her in any way as a form of reassurance

- Secret hidden kisses

- Hand. On. Thigh. When. Driving.

- When either one is driving

- Doesn’t drive as fast anymore, still really fast but slightly slower but will speed up sometimes to make her laugh

- Keeps her mixtapes in the car

- Only lets her change the music

- Maria cutting Max and Billy’s hair

- Billy leaving marks on her to show people that she’s his and when she gives him some he becomes so proud and shows them off

[csacskamacskamocska]

Tudja/nem tudja elkerülöm

Csak pár gondolat a tegnapi posztomhoz:

A narcisztikus SZEMÉLYISÉGZAVAR is egy spektrum a rejtett narcisztikustól a mindenki által felismerni vélt grandiózus narcisztikusig. Az extrovertált, domináns embereket sokszor tévesen hisszük narcisztikusnak, a visszahúzódóakat sokszor tévesen nem gondoljuk annak.

Bárki viselkedhet alkalmilag vagy egyes reakcióiban úgy, mint egy narcisztikus. Ezért is dobálóznak annyit ezzel a címkével. De attól még nem az. Több dolognak kell együtt állnia egy szakember által kimondott diagnózishoz. De az is igaz, hogy nem jutnak el szakemberhez, így nekünk nem marad más, mint a találgatás. De azért ebbe gondoljunk bele: találgatás.

Néha eljutnak pszichológushoz, de nem azért mert felismerik, hogy valami baj van velük, hanem mert mondjuk depressziósak lesznek. Szóval a kényelmetlenség miatt, nem azért mert érdekelné őket, hogy másoknak mit okoznak. Nem érdekli őket. Nekik igazuk van.

Ritkán sikeres a terápia. „Okosabbak” a terapeutánál és ha a kényelmetlenség elmúlik, már tűnek is el, nehogy más dolgokat is megpiszkáljanak.

Alacsony az empátiás készségük. De kifelé képesek akár magas empátiát is mutatni, eljátszani. Hatalmas önsajnálat van bennük, ennek a kifejezése úgy tűnhet, mintha mély érzéseik lennének. Nincsenek.

Bár tudható, hogy sérült emberek, akik belül szeretetre, megértésre, kapcsolatokra vágynak, de SENKI, aki nem szakember, nem tudja őket meggyógyítani. A gondolat, hogy majd te gyógyultra szereted, az olyan mint azt gondolni, hogy te nem fogsz meghalni.

Ha tudja is, hogy narcisztikus, mert valami módon összeállt a fejében, nem érdekli. A saját létezését pontosan megfelelőnek tartja, mindenki más hülye, aki nem viseli el. Ő ilyen.

Többnyire nem tudja. Ami teljesen logikus, mindannyiunknak vannak részeink, amik számunkra nem láthatóak, nem tudatosulnak. Olyan részek is benne vannak ebben, amit önmagunk védelmében a pszichénk nem mér össze soha semmi mással. Lehasítja, betokosítja, elzárja, elfalazza. Az ismert gondolataink, érzéseink, motivációink, cselekedeteink, vágyaink, stb, stb egészével azonosítjuk magunkat – és tartjuk magunkat tökéletesnek. :) Amikor valamiben nem tartjuk magunkat tökéletesnek, akkor az olyan dolog, ami NEKÜNK kényelmetlenséget okoz. (ebben nem különbözik senki a narcisztikustól) Ha nem okoz kényelmetlenséget, nem tartjuk hibának. :D Ez is nagyon logikus, ezért is nagyon sokfélék az emberek. Ugyanarra a dologra lehet valaki büszke, valaki más meg szégyelli és túladna rajta. :)

Ha nem kell velük élni, együtt dolgozni, akár élvezhetjük is a narcisztikus személyiségzavar pozitív hozadékait. Mert a figyelem és grandiozitás vágyuknak lehetnek a közönség számára pozitív hozadékai. Lehet pl kíváló színész, nagyszerű tudós, akárki. Mit tudod te, hogy mit művel a kapcsolataiban?

Elkerülni hogyan lehet? Erről rengeteget írnak a segítő csoportokban, ahogy az egész témáról is. Én alapvetően azt gondolom, hogy az önismeret sokat segít, mert nem véletlenül kerülünk bele ebbe az örvénybe. A saját problémás részeink okán leszünk áldozatok. A túlzott empátia, túlzott elfogadás, engedékenység, konfliktuskerülés és önértékelési zavar jellemző. Nem ellenük kell védekezni, mert az valóban egy félelemmé, paranoiává válik. Egyszerűen közelebb kell meghúzni a határt a saját érdekeinkhez. Ez kicsit viccesen hangzik, de próbálom jól kifejezni. Fel kell ismerni hamar, hogy nem jó, nem élvezem, nem tetszik, és akkor nem engedékenynek lenni, hanem elköszönni. Mivel a lovebombing idején minden nagyon szuper, ez nem könnyű, de VALÓJÁBAN már ebben az időben is ott vannak a jelek, csak hatalmas pozitívumok takarják el, szoktatnak hozzá az ő világához. Leegyszerűsített példa: minden fantasztikus, épül a kapcsolat, teljes flowban vagy, és hopp, két napig nem jelentkezik. Aztán igen és ad egy hatalmas rózsacsokrot (bármi pozitívumot). Két napig úgy gondoltad, hogy ez valahogy nem okés. De a "rózsacsokor" miatt elfelejted a két nap várakoztatást. És természetesen van magyarázat, mindig mindenre van magyarázat, és a magyarázatból mindig az derül ki, hogy te vagy aki rosszul gondolod, rosszul értékeled, rosszul érzékeled és hülye vagy, ha mást gondolsz, mint azt, hogy neki igaza van. Vagyis minden negatív élményed után azt fogod gondolni, hogy hülye vagy, hogy ezt gondoltad. Ez nagyon erős figyelmeztető jel. Jó kapcsolatban nem magyarázatokból jövünk rá, hogy felesleges volt az aggodalmunk, a félelmünk, hanem a kölcsönös változásból. „– Szétizgultam magam, hogy nem jelentkeztél. – Sajnálom, rosszul alakultak a dolgaim. De majd figyelek rá, hogy legalább egy sziát mondjak, ha az téged megnyugtat. :)" helyett egy narcisztikus „– Szétizgultam magam, hogy nem jelentkeztél. – Megőrültél? Annyi dolgom volt, azt se tudtam ki vagyok, kurvára nem volt időm rád. Ne csináljunk már ebből drámát!"

Nagyon kedves, odaadó emberek is kelthetnek bennünk ellenérzést. Azzal sincs baj. Nem kell megerőszakolni magunkat. Hallgassunk a belső hangra. Ha azt mondja menekülj, akkor menekülj, mert nem állsz készen arra az emberre. Ha azt mondja próbáld meg, akkor próbáld meg, majd szól, ha menekülj. Ezek a dolgok változnak. Épp a napokban oldottam fel valakit a blokkolásból, akit eddig szívből gyűlöltem. Rájöttem, hogy semmi bajom vele. Semmi olyan, amit másnál ne tolerálnék. Akkor mi is a baj? Hogy egy játszma része volt. És a blokk feloldásától kisimult a bensőm, a belső igazságérzetem. De ez már egy másik történet. Csak hallgasson mindenki a belső vezérére. Mert akkor, ott, éppen arra alkalmas, arra érett, az szolgálja őt. A bevállalt szar is. De ez is egy másik történet. :)

@alyrarkhon @sisylvietta @oldmacykerenew @newlifeprojects

[thewritersaddictions]

Day Four: Jim Hopper + Sleigh Ride

The freshly fallen snow had all of El's attention, as she gazes at it from window kitchen. She's been begging to go outside for what seems like years. Begging since Halloween and rudely denied until she decided to run off and give both hopper and I a few fucking heart attacks.

"When can we go outside?" El asks as she tursn around to look at us. "Well Hopp is gonna run down to the Melvalds and grab a few things, before we can all go out." El groans but you back up your words. "You missy don't have a winter jacket that fits you good enough, and while Hopp is at Melvalds I thought the two of us could make some sugar cookies." You add, she eyes you and then looks to Hopper. She nods and stalks off to her room.

"Thank you for the save, baby." Hopper whispers into your ear ass he bends down to give your forehead a kiss. "I'll be back soon with that jacket and some food for us, kay." He says before grabbing his truck keys, "And El you be good." He yells out into the distance of the small cabin.

The front door of the cabin slams shut, and for the first time it's just you and El. The whole thing had taken some getting used to. El was used to having Hopper all to himself, but he had taken a liking to you, so El had seen you has good people. You waited a bit, grabbing a book from the shelf. Diving into every word that was written on the page before you noted how quiet it was in El's room.

When you set your book down you were careful not to step on to make of the creaky floorboards, as your creaked open her door. She had fallen back asleep, covered up to her chin to keep the warmth surroudning her.

'I guess I'll make cookies all by myself.' You thought toyourself not wanting to disturb her in her slumber. Getting to quick work you grabbing all the nesscary ingridents from the fridge, and cabinets.

A few bowls and pans you knew that you would need. It didn't take long for the dough to be mixed together and quiet padded feet to hit the creaky floorboards. Alerting you that El had finally awoken from her slumber.

"HEY! You said we could make the cookies together." she comments seeing you're almost already half way done with the first batch. You look down at the bowl in front of you. "Good thing there's still a least a whole nother sheets of cookies that have to be placed." You say as you make room for her to stand next to you.

A few hours later when the cabin smells of sugar cookies, and frosting and you've managed to keep El's grubby hands off the hot metal pans, and also just steaking the cookies. Hopper comes back. The sun already setting behind the large tree line.

The bright headlights come through the blinds and blind the both of you. The door unlcoks and in come a litghtly snow covered Hopper. His beanie covred his head from the little snowfall. "You've been gone forever!" El said getting up to grab the tray of cookies from the table and give one to Hopper. "Did you get the jacket?" She asks as she grabbed another cookie.

"How many of these has she had?" He asked you, you shurg your shoulders, "But did you get her jacket?" You ask another question to ignore his question. "Yeah I got the damn jacket, now if the two of you would stop asking me so many questions I would be able to tell that you need to dress warm and be ready to go outside." Hopper all but shouts.

You surprisingly both lsiten to his words. El's new winter jacket is laying on the back of the couch. You feel like you're wrapped like fine china. El comes out looking worse then you do. Two random socks, a pair of legging that she most likly is borrowing from your and a pair of thrifted jeans that are a bit to small for her. At least two layers of shirt. "You ready kiddo?" Hopper asks with a new found exctiment in his voice. "DID YOU EAT ALL THE COOKIES!?" El yells out, sugar rims his mouth and there's evidence on his fingers. "what would make you say that" He says scartically, "We worked really hard to make those." She counters. "I did, but I made sure to buy more ingredients so you could make another batch." Hopper says looking over at me. "Are you going to show us what we're doing?" You ask your hands on your hips. "Hold your horses, get your jacket." He says to El grabbing the jacket from the back of the couch.

"Now we're ready. He wipes his dirty hand on his jeans, to get rid of loose crumbles, and grabs his jacket to cover his body from the cold snow. he opens the front door. "So, how do you feel about a sleigh ride, and making snowmen?" Hopper asks the both of us. "I wanna make snowangels instead." El counters just to be different and annoy Hopper. "Whatever you want kiddo." Hopper says before grabbing your hand and dragging you to the back of the truck.

He pops the back hatch open, and reveals three red sleighs. "They were the last 3 sleighs that Melvalds had." Hopper says happily as he grabs them and sets on them on the snowy ground. "You wanna take a ride in my sleigh baby?" Hopper asks with wink, and biting him bottom lip.

"I think the cold is gettin' to your head, but I'll take you up on your offer if you find me a good hill to ride down." He nods, "El, get in the truck we're going to go sleding." She jumps with excitment and grabs the back door of the truck.

Completed on: 11/16/23

Posted 12/04/23

The Elders-

Stranger Things Master List // The Elders Master List // Chirstmas Stories Master List

[sztivan]

szóval dolgozik magán az ember, hogy el tudjon indulni az életben valamerre, túljut a tizen- meg huszonéves kor minden nehézségén, eljut a harmincas éveibe, amikortól már sokkal jobb és egyszerűbb lehet minden, majd hopp, elkap egy betegséget és szenved vele egy csomót, majd meghal

ha van netán valami isten, akkor majd ha egyszer elé kerülök, szeretném felkérdezni, hogy ezt mégis hogy a kurva anyjába gondolja

(igen, megtörtént esemény alapján, egészen friss)

vagy hogy akkor már miért nem valami ártalmas ember halhatott meg negyven éves kora előtt, ha már muszáj valakinek, áh. de hát nem, nyilván nem lenne muszáj

és ott van az a nagyon csúnya mellékszál is, hogy akkor ez most már ilyen lesz, hogy az, hogy halál, nem csak valami olyan dolog, ami az öregekkel történik meg, meg mások ismerőseivel, hanem olyanokkal, akik velem egykorúak, és ezzel a tudattal nem jó érzés együtt lenni

[sirensea14]

Commissions are open

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Welp, take 4... Redrawn

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I love games/series/shows like:

Bendy and Boris in the Inky Mystery/Inky Mystery, Poppy Playtime, Batim/Batdr, Little Nightmares, In Sound Mind, Cuphead, Kimetsu no Yaiba, Still Wakes the Deep, Mr. Hopp's Playhouse, mouthwashing, gravity falls, Tadc, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, and skibidi toilet (yea yea no shit, leaf me a lone)

I post art and fanart, writings and yap about game reviews (from ytbers i watch)

Random masterlist because I like lists :P

(these are my personal favorite posts :] )

🖤Inky mystery🔧

Book 10 cover || Book 5 cover

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My IM inktober 2023 prompts

Vicerion sisters + Heartbreak comic

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Self/Sona inserts: bendy poster // ship art(NMT) // ship art 2 (El fili) // cuphead boss // poster ep frame // Inky Mystery // PPT player-sona // batdr sona // batdr cutout // fnf //

Antagonists lore (S & AC)

Oc's: poppy playtime (1) // poppy playtime (2) // hazbin hotel // ppt oc infocards // LN child (smile) // LN enemy (the seamstress) + the Boutique // RJ (gravityfalls) //

📼In Sound Mind🧠

In sound mind :333

My personal hc of the characters' appearances; allen, other characters

Allen vs The Shade

🎀Poppy playtime🧸

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parent!reader // bullied!reader

the hour of slay💅

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Feel free on asking me anything, but NOT incest, racist, pedophile, proships or anything inappropriate.

[scoops-aboy86]

Wiggly Wednesday!!! 🪱💕

This is so weird, I was off camping over Monday and Tuesday so this feels like a Monday to me now that I'm back at work, but it is... not. It's Wednesday. Weird.

Anyway, thanks for the tag on this @runninriot and @hotluncheddie! You want a wiggly idea? Okay, here's a wiggly idea.

My go-to "I need to cry about something" movie is Interstellar, and I watched it recently so it's on my mind.

Steve as Matthew McConaughey, Dustin as the kid who grows up to Have The Idea, Eddie as Anne Hathaway, and Wayne as Professor Michael Caine. Robin, Hopper, and Jeff are those boxy-looking robots, ROBS HOPP and JEFF. The people already sent out to collect info from different places across the big scary frontier include: Dr. Brenner (original leader of the program, taking the place of Matt Damon), Dr. Owens (the guy from the last place they go to), and Joyce (I'm sorry, but she's the one who got smashed on impact by the big wave in the movie). There's still a worldwide blight, caused by the spores from the Upside Down.

Steve crash lands in Hawkins. Idk what he crashes, a plane or something. Unlike the movie, this story isn't about going into space, it's about going into the Upside Down. Nancy is barely a footnote, but their relationship falls apart once everyone realizes that Barb didn't disappear, she was killed in Steve's crash. Steve ends up renting a room at the Henderson's, which Claudia is a huge fan of because her husband has passed away and this way Dusty gets a big brother. Steve also gets some sort of certificate and becomes a guidance counselor at the school… basically a professional babysitter. He gets dragged back into whatever his original job was when Dustin and his friends follow their wonky compasses to a super secret government base, where Steve meets Eddie and his old boss Wayne and the kids meet El. She's still in training to close all the gates; plan A is for Steve and Eddie's team to go into the Upside Down to find the source of the hive mind and disable it, and plan B is to wait until she's strong enough to just shut the whole dimension out of ours again.

This is about as far as I have it strongly plotted out, but basically time is wonky over there, speeding up and slowing down in different areas. The spores on Earth grow into demodogs and demogorgons if not burned off in time, but in the UD there's a greater variety of monsters and problems—like the bats. They get to Brenner's site and don't pick up on the fact that he's been flayed right away, because they've never seen it before; they have to kill him, but not before gleaning the info that the hive mind is likely at Dr. Owens' site.

It is, of course, a trap. Like in ST, Henry Creel is at the heart of it and El piggybacks in to fight him directly. Henry dies, for sure. And it turns out that the hive mind wasn't the problem, it becomes relatively inert once he's out of the equation and the monsters and spores start returning back through the gates to their home.

Steve and Eddie (now in love) get back to Earth in the nick of time before El finally closes all the gates, trapped in amber just enough that they're now the same age as Dustin and the rest of the kids. Maybe ROBS gets a new robot chassis that looks more like Maya Hawke and she and Steve remain besties 5ever. And they all live happily ever after, the end.

Coming soon to a word doc in my general vicinity, eventually. Probably. We shall see.

[morganski-19]

I Don't Know Which Way's Home

Chapter 5: Trying

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 4

October 1986

“Ok, Julie,” Sarah Piercing, Julie’s case worker, sits across a small table from Julie, flipping through a file. “I know that this is hard for you, and I’m not asking for much. But we have to find you a temporary placement until I can locate some family members for you to stay with.”

Julie stays silent, staring at the corner of the table with her arms crossed. She’s wearing her mom’s sweatshirt, the same as she has for the past few days. It’s the only thing that’s making her feel comfortable at all, and she won’t take it off no matter how hard anyone else tries to.

“I’ve looked into your mother’s side of the family.” Sarah continues, sticking to the business. Not even a second’s hesitation in saying the word mother, as if the mere mention of her doesn’t make Julie want to burst out sobbing. “And the only family member I could find was her sister, but she is in another state, and after a short talk on the phone and a background check, deemed not suitable to take in a child.”

Suitable. As if anyone this person sticks her with would be more suitable that her mom. No one could ever live up to the person Rebecca Lawson was. No one could ever make Julie feel as safe as she did. As loved as she did.

“So, I’ve started looking into your father’s side. He has signed the birth certificate, but otherwise has not given up his parental rights, so he is still a placement to consider. Is it true that he has not been present in your life?”

Julie takes a deep breath, not wanting to talk about this anymore than she has to. “Yes.”

“This might all be a dead end. He does have an adult son, though. Have you ever met him?”

She stays silent again.

“Julie, I’m trying to find you a placement that is family, people that you are related to. I want to help you.”

Because the people she’s never met are family. Julie had family, and that’s gone. “I’ve never met anyone on my dad’s side. I’ve never even met him.”

“Alright. Maybe that isn’t the best outlet then. There is an open bed at the Radburn family’s house. They have two children there already, a brother and sister, ages twelve and eight. They’ve been there for a few months now and are currently being considered for adoption from a few couples. Does that sound like the best fit for you?”

“Whatever,” she responds coldly.

Sarah slides a folder in front of Julie. It holds all of the information Julie would need about this family before it becomes official, Sarah explains. As well as the address and phone number of her father if she ever wanted to initiate contact. If she ever wanted to find closure.

As if she needed anything else to make this week even worse. She’s already lost the only parent, the only family she’s ever known. She didn’t need to be rejected by the same man twice.

But there’s another name on the paper, the name of her father’s son. Steve Harrington. If she were to contact anyone from that family, it would be him. He deserved to know who his father was just as much as she did. That family deserved to know what Richard Harrington kept from them.

. . .

Present Day, November 1986

Steve knocks on the now Hopper-Byers house, hoping that Hopper is home. He needed to talk to someone who could actually help him with this, and he’s the closest he could think of. Maybe Joyce could help too since she took in El after Hopper was presumed dead, but he’s not entirely sure how that worked. He’s not entirely sure how Hopper gained custody of El anyway, he’s just hoping that it will help.

“Hello,” El says when she opens the door.

“Are you supposed to answer the door?”

She shrugs. “I have before.”

“Is your dad home, I’d like to talk to him.”

“Yes, he is in the kitchen.” El steps aside and lets him pass.

She walks with him to the kitchen, leading him as if he already doesn’t know the way. The Byers were lucky that the house hadn’t sold when they moved back to Hawkins, and with the payout from the government hush money and Hopper being reinstated as chief, they were able to add an extension so each of the kids could have their own room.

“Dad, Steve is here to see you,” she says as they enter the kitchen.

Hopper looks up from the file he’s reading with a nod. “Thanks, kid.” El walks away with a nod. “What can I do for you, Steve?”

He motions for Steve to take the seat across from him. “I was hoping I could talk to you about something. It’s about Julie.”

Hopper huffs out a laugh, closing the file in front of him and leaning back in the seat. “I was wondering how long it would take you to come talk to me. Go on.”

“I want to get custody for her, at least for a little while. I’m not sure I’m the best fit for her long term, but I want to get her out of that house, and she seems to like it back at mine.”

“Figured you would. I’m not sure how much help I’ll be, but I can definitely be a good character reference for you. So would Joyce.”

Steve nods. “Thank you. That means a lot.” He pauses. “How would I even go about doing this? Like what’s the first step? How’d you get custody of El?”

Hopper laughs. “Well, that wasn’t the most traditional way of doing things so that might not be the best help for your case. But I’d say probably talking to her case worker and seeing what you’d need to do to be granted temporary guardianship.”

“Ok, that doesn’t seem too bad. Anything you’d think I’d have to change to be granted that?”

“Getting a full-time job wouldn’t hurt. There’s probably going to be a house inspection so getting rid of anything, suspicious, is a good idea. But with how her case worker reacted to that house and the fact that she keeps running away, I think the odds are pretty good if she likes you. Of course, you’ll have to talk to Julie about all this first, see if she wants it.”

Steve doesn’t even know how to bring it up to Julie. He’s been scared that she might not even want this, that all of this effort might go toward nothing. But when he remembers the hopeless look on her face every time she has to go back to that house, and the breath of relief she took when he told her she could, illegally, stay at his house. All of it just tells him that there might be some hope in this.

The only hitch was how he didn’t feel like he was enough. Julie needed structure, a home. Somewhere that could provide for her better than he could. He’s barely an adult himself and can’t even legally drink yet, there’s no way he’s the best fit for her. And with the trauma that he’s just now starting to deal with, the nightmares he won’t be able to explain and the injuries he can’t either, it’s just not possible.

But temporary, he can work with temporarily. Steve only hopes that Julie can too.

“I’m planning to, soon.”

“Good. Hope it works out for you, let me know if I can help with anything else.”

Steve goes to stand, “Thank you again for your help. It really means a lot that you have my back for this.”

“Anytime, kid,” Hopper stands and sees Steve out. “And Steve, come to me again when you realize how long temporary means for you.”

Steve stares at Hopper as he closes the door, leaving him with the question he’s already debated more times than he can count.

. . .

“Hi,” Jane greets Julie at her empty lunch table, holding a lunch tray. “Can Max and I eat with you?”

“The people we normally eat are getting on my nerves,” Max complains, nodding her head at the table full of boys they just came from.

Julie looks in that direction. Two of the boys, one with curly hair and the other with a trying mullet are in a heated argument. One is just sitting there resigned of what is happening while the other looks over with a sorry gaze. “Sure,” Julie replies, “looks intense.”

“It was,” Jane states, sitting across from Julie after helping Max roll up to the end of the table.

“Something about the dumb game they play,” Max says while rolling her eyes.

“Dungeons and Dragons,” Jane mumbles over a bite of her sandwich. “They are trying to pick a date to play, but it is not working.”

Julie looks back at the table and sees all the boys now engaged in the argument and winces. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Are you in Mrs. Wilson’s English class,” Jane asks, making small talk.

She shakes her head. “No, I’m a year ahead of you guys. Had her last year.”

“So, you already had to go through the torture of the Odyssey, be honest does it get any better.” Max reaches her hand across her tray and feels for her sandwich, carefully running her fingers along the edges before picking it up.

“If you’re into Greek Mythology, then yes. But if not, then no. Especially if you can’t get past the old language.” Julie picks at her lunch, not hungry.

Max sighs. “Great. It’s already enough that the story wants to make me fall asleep, but the guy who does the audiobook has the most sleep-inducing voice I’ve ever heard.”

“Lucas offered to read it to you,” Jane interrupts, sounding condescending.

“But he’s so busy with basketball, I don’t want to bother him with another thing.”

“You are not bothering him. Just ask him?”

“Who’s Lucas,” Julie asks, immediately regrets asking as this conversation seems to not involve her.

Jane looks at her with a smile. “Max’s boyfriend.”

“Sort of boyfriend,” Max corrects. “I haven’t decided if I’m ready for the full title yet.”

“He is her boyfriend,” Jane insists before returning to her lunch.

The three of them finish their lunch over small conversation, mainly just Jane and Max with Julie listening quietly. It’s weird to have people eat lunch with her. Ever since her best friend moved away a few years ago, there’s never been anyone else to eat with. And now the school is desolate compared to last year from the moves after spring break. It was easier to eat alone then to try and find friends.

But even though she doesn’t know Jane and Max that much, it doesn’t feel foreign. It feels friendly. Julie forgot how nice friendly felt.

. . .

“You will never guess what Keith just pulled me into his office for,” Robin excitedly runs up to Steve as he’s doing returns.

“We got a raise,” Steve guesses.

Robin shakes her head, pressing her lips together to keep in her excitement. “He’s quitting,” she loudly whispers as a customer came in the store.

Steve does a quick greeting to the customer before turning back to Robin. “You can’t be serious.”

“I indeed am, dingus. Keith is moving away and therefore, quitting. And he offered me his position as manager, but I declined it because I am going to start taking some classes at the community college in a few months, leaving you the opening to take it.”

“That would solve the job thing.” He winces, “But do I really want to manage a video store.”

Robin rolls her eyes. “Versus what, dingus. Just abandoning me to this shop alone as you go off and find a stuffy office job that I know you’ll hate and aren’t even qualified for. Take the job that’s been thrown into your lap. Because Keith may not like you but other than the week of spring break that they’ve since forgiven us for, your attendance has been spotless, with the exception of a few necessary call outs, the customers love you and you have great people skills. And while Keith seems to not think it, after working here for a while, you do have a good understanding of most of the movies in here and how to suggest them.”

“When you put it that way,” Steve sighs, yielding.

She smiles. “So, you’re going to go talk to Keith.”

“Yes. I will go talk to Keith.”

Steve walks over to the office and knocks gently. When Keith opens it, he rolls his eyes and leaves the door open when going back to his chair and his Cheetos.

“You’ll have to reapply,” Keith grumbles, upset that he’s even telling Steve this at all. “And you’ll have to interview with the owner.”

“When do I need it by?”

Keith sighs. “Have it by next week.”

“Great, thanks Keith.”

Steve returns to Robin with a grin. They work the rest of their shift before switching out with the afternoon workers, heading over to the school to pick up Dustin. He didn’t usually pick up Dustin from school, but with the state of the roads and heightened worry from the parents since the earthquake, he isn’t allowed to bike. So, he offered to do the days that Claudia needed to work. And he was happy to do it after all, gave him something to do.

He pulls up into his usual spot, Eddie’s van pulling up next to his not long after. Steve and Robin get out to talk to Eddie while they wait, and to make sure the back had enough for Max’s wheelchair.

It’s not awkward when he talks to Eddie. For some reason he thought it would be since they decided to put a pause on what was happening between them. But Eddie hops out and hugs Steve like he normally does, and then hugs Robin after. Like routine.

Steve should be grateful that it’s normal, should be grateful that Eddie doesn’t hold it against him. But it still stings knowing he was this close to getting something before he let his dad take it away from him again. Like he always did.

The last school bell rings and students start to flood out of the doors and into the parking lot and bus lane. Much less of a group of kids than last year, half of the town moving out after the quake, but still enough.

He spots Julie and catches her eye, waving at her. She waves back and he waves her over, thinking he can just offer her a ride. She’ll probably end up at his house anyway. But then Dustin will want to know who she is, but that he can deal with.

“Hey,” Julie greets him. “What are you doing here?”

“I pick up one of the kids I used to babysit after school sometimes,” Eddie and Robin snort when he says babysit, “Help his mom out. You want a ride, got an extra seat.”

“Oh. Uh, sure. Let me just go grab my bike.” Julie walks away, heading towards the bike racks.

Eddie leans closer to him. “You really think that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Steve shrugs. “She’s coming over to my house anyway.”

“But have you told Dustin about this new thing?” Robin adds, widen her eyes and waving her hands around.

Steve sighs. “No, but I’ll handle it. I can just say I actually started babysitting or something.”

“Yeah, cause sixteen-year-olds are in desperate need of babysitting,” Eddie mumbles.

“I said or something,” he mutters back.

Dustin finally makes his way out of the school, barreling his way over with Lucas and Max. Lucas is pushing Max up the slight hill, making sure that she doesn’t run into the moving cars. Eddie goes over to the passenger side to open the side door for Max, which Lucas helps her to step into, making sure she doesn’t put too much body weight on her legs.

“I got it, I got it,” she scolds when Lucas helps a little too much, but with the relief visible on her face when she gets in the car, it was needed.

“Call me when you get home, ok,” Lucas asks. Max nods, clicking her seatbelt into place carefully and looking forward.

Eddie collapses her wheelchair and gets it in the back of his van, saying his goodbye to Steve before driving off. Lucas heads towards the bike racks, waving to the rest of them as he does.

“Steve,” Dustin repeats, stopping his long rant to Robin about his science class. “Come on. I have a project I have due tomorrow.”

“The one you had assigned two weeks ago and are just now starting?” He asks, leaning against his car.

Dustin rolls his eyes. “I was assigned last week and took me a while to think of an idea but now I have one and would like to get working on it. So can we go before the exit gets clogged with seniors.”

Steve sees Julie almost to his car, rolling her bike beside her. “In a second, I’m taking someone else home today.”

“Who,” Dustin asks with a shocked face. “Did you make another friend that’s a high schooler? You need more friends your age, man.”

“You know you say that and then get offended when I can’t drive you places because I’m hanging out with other people. And I have sort of made a friend, it’s more complicated than that.” Steve walks to his trunk and pops the hood.

“How is it complicated?” Dustin gets cut off when Julie walks up to the car, Steve taking her bike from her and loading it into his trunk. “Who are you?”

Robin smacks his arm. “Be nice, doofus.”

“Dustin, this is Julie,” Steve introduces, turning to Julie. “Ignore anything he’s about to say, he can be a bit overwhelming.”

Julie looks at him with both a concerned and confused look, almost looking like she’s debating getting her bike and refusing the ride. But Steve ushers Dustin to the other side of the car.

“I am not overwhelming, Steve, just a curious mind,” Dustin continues but Steve tunes him out.

Robin gets in her designated seat, with Julie sitting in the seat behind her. Steve shoots Robin a glare which she returns with one that says, “I told you so”, before he pulls out of the parking lot.

. . .

Dustin keeps looking at her. Which is both unsettling and uncomfortable with how obvious he is. Julie’s seen him around school a few times, he was the curly haired kid that Max was sitting with at lunch before moving to her table. She assumes they’re friends, and since he knows Steve, does Max too?

If only Julie could ask, but he keeps staring at her with squinted eyes like he’s trying to figure out her deal. She wonders if Steve has told him about their relationship. It’s not like she would care, they never talked about who they wanted to tell. But she trusts Steve’s judgement enough that if he decided to share it, she would have let him.

“I know you from somewhere,” Dustin finally says, apparently done assessing her face.

“Jesus, Dustin, give it a rest,” Steve chastises from the front seat.

Dustin rolls his eyes but continues anyway. “I saw you eating lunch with Max and Jane earlier.”

“I did,” she replies, shifting in her seat a bit, scratching at the same spot on her thumb. She always gets a bit uncomfortable around new people, but this is intense.

“How do you know Max?” he asks, almost defensive.

Steve sends an apologetic look through the rearview mirror. “Dustin,” he warns again.

“I’m just asking. You two obviously know each other and I don’t know her, so I’m asking.”

“More like interrogating,” Robin mutters under her breath with an agreeing nod from Steve.

“I used to live down the street from her in the trailer park,” Julie answers.

Dustin nods. “So do you know Eddie then too, they lived across the street from each other.”

“I do.” There is an air of uncomfortable energy clouding Julie’s space. She moves on from scratching to picking, almost enough to make her thumb bleed.

Robin groans. “Jesus, Steve pulls over.” He does. “Julie switch seats from me, you can ignore Dustin better than way.”

She gets out of the car and switches places with Robin, now in the front seat with Steve.

“Wait, what,” Dustin starts to protest. “You gave up your seat.”

Robin shrugs. “So.”

Dustin is obviously very upset and confused, almost betrayed. He looks at Steve for anything but gets nothing. “You never give up the front seat, for your motion sickness.”

“Yeah well,” she says with a sly grin, “that might be fake so I always get the front seat.”

“What,” Dustin exclaims. “And you give it up for some girl that I’ve only met today. You’ve known me for two years.”

“Julie’s special.”

“How is she special?”

Robin rolls her eyes. “She doesn’t annoy me twenty-four-seven like someone else does.”

“So, you know her too. How do the both of you know her?” Dustin takes a deep breath, staring up at the roof before looking straight ahead again. “I’m seriously just curious, I’ve never once seen her hang out with you guys.”

Steve gives her a questioning look at the red light. Asking silently if it was ok for him to tell Dustin. Julie just shrugs, leaving the decision up to him.

Steve lets out a long sigh. “Julie is my sister, Dustin.”

It’s the first time since Dustin’s started talking that he’s been quiet. She might have just met him, but it seems like that doesn’t happen a lot. He just sits back in his seat, stunned with this information.

“She’s your sister,” he finally says.

“Yep,” Julie responds, biting on her cheek.

“Holy shit. How long have you known?”

Steve rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know, what three weeks now?”

“Yeah, around that” Julie confirms.

Dustin takes another second to think before his face hits with realization. “That’s why you look so familiar. I saw the resemblance.”

Julie looks at Steve. They have a few similarities, but not a lot. “I don’t think we look that alike-.”

“You totally do,” Dustin insists as they pull up to what Julie can assume is his house.

“Alright, we’re here, out,” Steve commands.

Dustin gaps. “What no, I have so many more questions. Like how did you meet, did she always know, does your mom know, did you ever suspect anything, is this going to throw off our group dynamics?”

“All questions that will be there tomorrow,” Robin adds. “Now out.”

“Fine,” he groans, opening the car door. “See you later, Steve. Nice meeting you, Julie.”

The car rids back to Steve’s is silent, making one more stop to drop Robin off at her house. Julie would start up a conversation, but it felt nice to sit in silence after what just happened. She expected that she would meet the other people in Steve’s life, just not like this. A little less thrown into it all, but then he did warn her that he was picking someone else up. She just thought they would have been a little more amicable.

Not to say that Dustin wasn’t, but he came off so defensive. Like he had to protect Steve from something. Julie remembers that Steve mentioned he met Eddie during the spring break craziness, and now that she thinks about it, he did see him wandering around the trailer park that week. With Dustin, and with Max. With Eddie, and Robin, and some other kids too.

That week was a plague in her community, one that no one really had an explanation for. The same lack of explanations for what happened for the last three years in this town. Just the last fourth of July, there were people going in hoards to the new mall, only to die in a supposed fire. Julie ran into a girl she knew from school heading there, there was nothing normal in the way they were walking to the mall.

Something has been going on in Hawkins, and Julie had a weird feeling that told her Steve somehow knew about it. But she had no other proof to tell her why.

“I’m sorry about him,” Steve finally says. “I should have guessed that it would go like that, but I was hoping he wouldn’t go straight into interrogation mode.”

“It’s fine,” Julie responds quietly, stopping herself from picking at her skin again. “You two seem close.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “Yeah well, he was the closest thing I had to a sibling for well, before you.”

He pulls up his driveway and parks the car. As they get out of the car, the words he said sticks in Julie’s mind. Obviously, they were siblings, that was a biological fact. But biology means nothing when it comes to family, not for her at least. And they were estranged. Even though she’s spent almost every afternoon at his house for the past week, that doesn’t mean they were at the sibling level yet.

Unless they were. Julie was at the point where she could see Steve being a part of her life for a long time, maybe even forever. But she wasn’t sure if he was there yet. She had nothing left, no family, barely any friends. This new relationship with him was the last thing she could grasp that meant a family. It was easier for her to hope for the best when she already was holding the worst.

But him, he had a family. One already made from friends, his parents never really sticking around too much. It was something he talked about a lot, his friends. The kids he “babysat”, Robin, Eddie, he even mentioned one of his exes was now a close friend. He had people to rely on, he didn’t need another person in his life.

And yet he still smiled every time Julie came over and welcomed him into his home. Tried to get to know her and support her in the ways he could. Making sure she had a safe place to run away too when the other house got too much.

He understood her, or at least tried to. If anyone asked, she would not hesitate to say that they were siblings, let them assume that they were a real family. It was a reflex, a need. She needed people to know that she wasn’t alone. That there was someone to look after her.

Julie spent the last month looking after herself and everyone around her. Making sure she got the brunt of the yelling when Molly and Oliver were still in the house, did what she was told to avoid a fight. Ran away for nights on end and stealing extra food from the school lunches just to make sure she didn’t starve. It was her reality.

So, it was normal to want someone to take the load off again. And a small part of her wanted it to be Steve, hoped that he would do it. But she would never ask for it directly. He didn’t need her, and she hated the fact that she needed him.

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Steve starts when the walk into the kitchen, sitting down across from her usual seat at the table. “It’s kind of important.”

Anxiety shoots through Julie as she sits down. This was it. “Ok,” she says warily.

Steve clears his throat, visibly debating how to say whatever it was. Only making it worse for Julie. “I’ve been thinking about a few things but mainly about how much you come over. I’ve seen you use the back shed a few times when things get bad, and sometimes I’ll come down for a glass of water and you’ll be sleeping on the couch.”

It’s too much, he doesn’t want her there. He’s taking back his offer because she used it too much. He doesn’t want her here anymore.

“The point I am trying to make is that you seem to like it here, more than there. And as far as us trying to get to know each other, I think it’s going well. I’ve liked getting to know you and starting to have that sibling relationship that I’ve wanted since I was a kid. Having Dustin and the kids is nice, and as much as I see them as siblings, it’s different. They have their own families while I don’t. But I want to. So, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to see if I could get temporary custody of you, so you could come live here.”

“Oh,” Julie says in shock, her anxiety lessens and her defenses lower. He said the opposite of what he thought he would.

“And it doesn’t need to be permanent, just temporary. I’m not completely sure if I would even qualify for permanent custody or anything, or if I’m the best for that. But what I’m trying to say is that your welcome here, and I’d like to see you sleep on a real bed instead of my couch.”

Temporary rings around in her head, sticking more than everything else. The possibility of leaving still ever present, of not having a permanent home. She gets what he’s saying that he might not get approved, that she would be forced to move somewhere else. But she would want him to at least try. To at least admit that maybe he too wanted this for more than a short time.

Julie was never one to keep friendships, to let anyone in other than family. It was her and her mom against everyone else, always. She’s missed having that permanence, and she wanted Steve to fill that place.

Even though he would never be her mom, he never could be. And maybe she’s already putting too much pressure on him to be that.

But with the way he’s looking at her, she can’t help but think that they’re one in the same. Two people hurt by circumstance, trying desperately to create something to fix the brokenness of the past.

Maybe he needed her just as much as she needed him.

“I’d like that,” she finally says. “I want that.”

He visibly deflates back into his chair. “Ok. There’re a few things we’ll need to talk about, but I’d like to get this started. Could I have the name and contact information from your case worker, so I can talk to her and see what needs to happen?”

“Yeah, sure.” Julie rummages in her bag for the business card her case worker left her. She’s gotten used to carrying everything on her back that’s important, just in case. Pulling it out, she hands it to him.

“Thanks. It’s probably too late to call now, but I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Julie looks at him with hope that still feels a little misplaced, but she can’t snuff it out this time. “Ok.”

. . .

“I think that is a great idea, Steve,” Sarah, Julie’s case worker, says across the line. “I’ve been looking to get her out of that house for a while now but no one else in the school district has an open bed. But if she’s comfortable with it, I have no problem helping you get approved.”

“That’s great,” Steve responds. “Just let me know what I need to do, and I’ll get working on it.”

“Are you doing anything tomorrow around noon? We can have a formal, in person chat about everything.”

“I have a day off from work tomorrow, so that works.”

“Great, my office address is on the business card Julie gave you. Looking forward to meeting you in person. See you tomorrow.”

Steve places the phone back on the receiver just for it to start ringing again.

“Hello, Harrington residence,” he answers.

“I still can’t get over how formal you answer the phone,” Eddie says.

“Yeah, well it’s a habit.”

Eddie laughs and it makes Steve’s heart pull. He misses that laugh. “I was just calling to check in on you. We haven’t talked in a few days.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Steve didn’t mean to, it just happened. It was better for him if he didn’t see Eddie as much, that way he could stop himself from doing something stupid. “I’ve been busy dealing with some stuff, but I’m fine.”

“What stuff?”

“I’m working on getting custody of Julie. Or temporary guardianship. Custody is a much longer battle.”

“Holy shit, really? That’s great. As long as if it’s what you want.”

It is what Steve wants, but not all of it. His mind has been all over the place that he’s been neglecting himself. Neglecting his feelings for Eddie. It was his choice to put a pause on this, his choice to only deal with one thing at once. But as he’s working through everything again, he wants to feel like he can have things of his own again.

Robin has been there for him while he works through all of these feelings about his dad. The feelings of neglect and unworthiness. That nothing he can do could make him worthy in his parents’ eyes. And how those transfers to everything else.

Other feelings have bubbled up to the surface along with it. The one-sided breakup with Nancy, how unwanted he felt after that. How it felt that no matter how much he changed, how much he grew, he would never feel worthy of anyone.

Even now with Julie. He’s only been in her life for such a short time. And ever though it wasn’t his fault, he still felt like this wasn’t going to be a permanent thing. No one he was related to ever stuck around for longer than a few months. Why would she do the same thing.

Sometime in the future, she would find a family that could provide for her in the way that she needed. He was disjointed with a multitude of unprocessed trauma in a house that he didn’t own. He was unstable, Julie deserved stability.

“It’s what I want.”

“Good. We should have movie night again tomorrow with Birdie, get your mind off of it. I can bring some stuff too if you want.”

“Yeah, sure. I have a meeting with her case worker tomorrow to talk about how to do this, so I’ll probably need it.”

“See you tomorrow, then. Bye, Stevie. I’ve missed you.” Eddie hangs up the phone before Steve can respond.

There’s an ache in his chest when he hangs up the phone again, regretting everything. All he wants is to call Eddie back and invite him over now. Take everything for himself again. But he knows tomorrow he’s just going to wake up and feel undeserving of it all over again, so he won’t.

He won’t string Eddie along with his pile of insecurities, not now. When everything is settled, maybe then it will all start to fade away, and he can let himself be happy again.

But he needs to work things out with Julie first, then he can focus on himself again.

Chapter 6

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

[kepeslajoska]

Egyszer csak hipp-hopp előkerült egy négy évvel ezelőtti rendőrségi jegyzőkönyv, amely leírja Magyar Péter és Varga Judit akkori házasok hangos, dühödt veszekedését.

EZ VESZÉLYES!

Mármint, hogy képzelik ezek, hogy a házasságuk tizennyolcadik évében nekiállnak perlekedni! Ilyen itt nem szokás!

Csak nézzük meg, milyen példás NERházaságokat éltek országunk idoljai!

Nem volt vita, egy hangos szó sem, amikor Rogán Antal békésen leváltotta Cecíliát, aztán ott a mintapár, Mészáros Lölö és leamortizált asszonya, azóta is 600 milliárdnyi fehérgalamb röpköd felettük, de mintául szolgálhat Deutsch Tompika, aki már a harmadik feleségét „tapossa” veszekedés nélkül, azt is láthattuk, ahogy Matolcsy Jobbkéz György titkárnőt cserélt szép csendben, békésen, és itt az igazi példa, Hende Csaba, aki közös egymásra-mosolygással búcsúzott el asszonyától és bontotta fel az isten és felszentelt papja által az égben kötött egyezséget.

Szóval így kell ezt csinálni tisztelt nagyérdem��!

És ha végezetül felmászunk a csúcsok csúcsára és eljutunk Európa DNS-e, a rettenthetetlen utcai harcosunk magasságába, ott találkozhatunk igazán a mennyek ideális párjával, öt gyerek, állandóan gondoskodó szülők, nehezen összekuporgatott vagyonka piciny birtokkal és semmi szóváltás évtizedek óta!

Na, így kell ezt csinálni pogányok! Az pedig megbocsátható, ha az asszonyka féltve a szemét, még a sötétben is napszemüveget hord.

Hogy is van a mondás? Pénz olvasva … akkor hasznos, ha van elég. Vagy valami ilyesféle…