#either way. not great but i didnt waste a couple hours on this for it to just rot on my harddrive ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jefferythejelly]

foolishLimpWrist

[violetnotez]

Haaaaiiii! I don't know if you've done this before, but can you do a headcanon with Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kaminari (separately) dating a slim thicc reader who's waaaaay to kind to everyone for her own good? Sorry if that was specific lol. It just suits my life.

HC: Slim Thicc + Overly Nice Reader | BNHA

Music Genre: Pop | BNHA

Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki

Warnings: cursing, suggestive content

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shop Owner Note: The fuq how did you describe me in four words lmaoooo-I really liked this idea alot!!!!! Also I only did Bakugo, Izuku and Shoto caus emy brain got fried, so hope thats okay!

Midoriya

THIS GIF ISNT APART OF THE HC AT ALL I JUST FOUND IT AND NOW IM FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAYYYY😳😳

Midoriya most definitely drink his respect women juice

He was raised by his mother after all

BUT

doesnt mean the boy cant be a little perverted-

He just loves your body!!!!!

How can he NOT love everything about it, from the way your school tights slightly squeeze your thighs to the point where he feel like he cant breath

Or when you wear his shirts and its tighter around the chest and flowy around you waist

Mmmmmm lets not forget your hero suit- this man would probably kiss the shoes of the person who made your suit

Cause DAMN they really made it as tight as possible and he just loves it sm

Lets be real this dude has probably popped a boner by accident just thinking about your hero suit 😶

ANYWAYS 💀💀💀💀

He is very much respectful about you and keeps his raging hormones horniness to himself

He is ALWAYS making sure you feel comfortable in your relationship, whether its from holding hands to cuddling, he will always make sure you give your consent

Now, when it comes to your kindness, this is something Midoriya probably loves the most about you

But he does find it really concerning when he notices you say “yes” to everything somebody asks you to do for them

And running yourself down, not looking as energetic as yourself

He is very observant, so he notices little things that signal you are little overwhelmed 

Like your clothes arent as perfectly ironed as they used to be, you seem to be forgetting your own things while remembering to bring everybody else’s, your smile seems strained, and you just look stressed

He is so incredibly empathetic- it pains him to his s/o look so distraught 

It does anger him a bit that these people can so easily take advantage of you, and not even care that you arent feeling your best because of what they asked of you

But he swallows down the anger, offering to help you with whatever you need at your dorm room

He tries to make it as stress free as he possibly can, bringing your favorite snacks and playlist of music to calm your mind

But at some point hed give you a very gentle talk,,,,

He knows you havent been feeling too great, whether you deny it or not, and he wants you to know that its perfectly okay to not say “yes” to every person

He knows you mean well and you want to help everyone out of the generosity of your heart, and he loves that about you

But you as a person are important, and you come first over anyone

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Bakugo

Like Midoriya, just LOVES your body

Like cmon, how can he NOT

Dude is a ass+boob man change ma mind 

At first he deifnitely denies it-

Him??? Stare at your ass??? Pshh he was looking at the oven baka, if anything your ass was blocking his view-

You would know you caught him red handed cause he face would get redder than Momo’s hero suit and he would actually stutter—-

Which would make him extrmeely annoyed and he’d be cussing a storm+be in a grumpy mood for an hour or two

But once you two get more comfortable in your relationship-

NO HOLDING BACK

He will have use every opportunity to just be meannnn

And by mean

I mean turn slapping your ass into some sick game

Like if you dont yelp and cuss him out whats the point?

Once he slapped you so hard he legit left his big ass hand print on your butt cheek and you were about to slap his smug ass back....

But off a 50ft building  🙃

Also a big softie too

Like when you to cuddle he loves cuddling into your chest 🥺🥺

To him it’s just so comfyyyyyyyyyy

Honestly, Bakugo can’t understand at all how you can be so nice to people

It confuses him???? But he finds it really....nice???

Like half the stuff you do for people Bakugo wouldn’t ever dream of doing

He knows he’d either give that person an intimidating, dirty look or just laugh at them, cause yeah right he’d waste his time with their stupid problems

Ouchhhhhhhh

But you are totally different than him-you had a lot more patience and sympathy than he had, always coming to everyone’s rescue it seemed like

He finds it attractive and to him, it confuses the hell out of him how he does

But what bothers him is how much time you spend away from him

He won’t ever admit it, but he feels lonely when you’re not around

And what’s even worse-is by the time you do hang out with him, your too tired to even properly pay attention to him after running around and doing everything for everyone else

Bakugo the Attention Whore

One day this dude would have enough, as he’s been getting the bad end of the stick for a good couple of weeks——

He just barges into were ever your at, and doesn’t give to shits what so everrrrr

Bakugo has one mission in mind: getting his s/o back

Wouldn’t acknowledge anyone but you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you out of the room even if your protesting with him

“The hell are you doing Bakugo, let go-“

“No 😠”

“Pleaseeeeeee I was in the middle of working on something-“

“I said NO 😠😠😠”

Angry Pomeranian Activated

Once stop dragging you until he locks you in his room, forcing you to hear him out

He HATES being emotional or open, but at that, he starts spilling his guts through gritted teeth and choppy sentences,,

Saying that you waste too much time in thise “extras”, that they don’t deserve as much time as you give them, and that you have more “important” things than do all their work for them

*cough cough him being the more important thing

But hoenstly, you feel a little bad for him,,,,,

So you compromise with him and promise you’ll spend more time on him

He’s pretty happy with that,

but now he takes it one step further to make sure you deifnitely have enough time to hang out with him

If he’s around when someone asks you for help, he’ll cut them off and lie straight theough his teeth, saying you two have a “date” and squeezing you close to him with an iron grip

“Wait-Bakugo-we didnt have a date planned-“

“Tsch, now we do-“

Shoto Todoroki

I have said this timeeee and timeeee againnnn

But Shoto really is the definition of innocence

So really, it wouldn’t ever dawn on him on how killer his s/o’s body is

He’s just kinda like....yeah I know they have a butt and chest? Doesn’t everyone?😶

This poor Boi someone help him

It only really sets it after a few months of being together that he’s actually really, really in love with your body

Like how did he never notice how good you look in leggings?

Or how soft and comfortable your chest is?

And why does he want you to squeeze him with your thighs? 😳

Hormones are ragingggggg

And also veryyyyyyyy protective over you

Shoto is very observant and quiet in social situations, usually opting to check out his surroundings instead of trying to be sociable

So he’ll catch from time to time classmates commenting on you and your figure, and it never sits very well with him

At first when these incidences happened he was very conflicted, not understanding this intense jealousy and need to protect you

But after a while of contemplating his feelings, he understood it was because he was protective of you

And ohohoohohoh

This man is PROTECTIVE

He does little things you would never reallly notice until you actually do

Like when he takes you home after hanging out or a date, he lingers a little longer outside your door to make sure you’re inside safely

Or when you’re walking together he will make sure your walking inside the street and away from the cars

Also has a tendency to grab your waist or your hand when a group of men come your way

He just gets paranoid okay 🥺🥺🥺

And because he’s so protective, he doesn’t practically like that you’re being taken advantage of sometimes because of your kindness

Especially when it comes to other men

On a few occasions Shoto has spotted you in a sticky situation with a guy who was being a little too close for comfort

It would make you uncomfortable of course, you had a boyfriend you already loved a lot-

but you felt kind of bad just being a total bitch to this guy who desperately wanted a chance

So you’d just awkwardly laugh and smile with their stupid pick up lines, trying your best to be polite but also show you weren’t interested

But Shoto at this point has radar for when your in trouble, and just pops out of nowhere 💀

He’s not the type to flaunt his relationship by impulsively kissing you or anything like that, but he’ll show it in subtle ways

Like calling you “dear” or wrapping his arm around your waist

Honestly, the look of pure relief and comfort in your face shows more than Shoto could have ever done,,,

And that Shoto was deifnitely someone that was more than just a “guy fiend” and soemthing like that

Also Shoto would give them a look that could kill and that instantly scares the shit out anyone lmao

These dudes faces would deflate like balloons real quick, cause at this point everyone knows who Shoto Todoroki is

And how the hell can they compete with that

Instant “oh shit my bad” type energy

After those incidents, Shoto locks down way harder

He practically has you glued to his side, and he doesn’t let go

Like at all

Get used to it cause for the rest of the day Shoto is gonna be following you around like some body guard 💀

© Violetnote 2020

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

[moriartysnerd]

Jim Moriarty x fem reader Harry Potter! AU

An: this is kinda short, not really anything big. Just a cute little story. I want to start writing more one shot story’s in this AU. There will be many more parts, I just needed some soft fluf, tell me if there’s anything specific you’d like to see!

_______________________________

How you loathed mornings. The sun had finally just begun to hit your eyes as you awoke to the soft click of the dorm room door closing and giggling slowly fading away behind it. You finally managed to open your eyes and looked around. Everything around your bed was so clean, and all the other girls had left. The images of what you and sherlock did last night flashed in your mind. You where always so tired after a revision night with the ravenclaw. You struggled to keep up with him half the time, you couldn’t imagine how you two had become friends in the passing years but there was no getting rid of him. You wiped your eyes clean before getting up and preparing yourself for the day. Sherlock seemed to of gotten everything ready for you. Even folded your uniform. The neat freak. You smiled to yourself, slipping into your attire and then reaching for your tie. It was blue. Not only was it blue, it wasn’t yours. Sherlock’s cologne swiftly surrounded you as you picked it up. He’d taken the wrong tie. No. Of course he hadn’t. Sherlock Holmes didn’t make such simple mistakes. He was either marking you, or he wanted to tell you somthing. Either way, unless you wanted house points off you had to wear a tie. Unfortunately, you wernt in the mood to deal with a professor harassing you over somthing so simple. It was settled. You’d wear it.

It felt like it took you forever to get ready that morning, the minutes where dragging and so where your feet. Finally your hands reached for your bag, tossing it over a shoulder and groaning at the heaviness. Seems Sherlock had packed that too. You groaned in defeat as you realised you wouldn’t have the time to resort you bag and headed out of your room and down the stairs, making your way out of the common room. It still made you laugh to think that Sherlock had some how found a way to sneak passed the magic and get himself into the girls dorm room. He was bright, you’d give him that. He was also somewhat of a charmer. Always helping the other girls in your dorm room, Or waiting outside when any of them needed to change. He was more than welcome to say he wasn’t really a people’s person, but most of all. The girls loved the drama he could indulge. Sherlock could deduce things so easily with substantial evidence. He was a drama whore, he just didn’t admit it. He’d figure things out about couples, teachers, classes the works. It was like a super power. It even had its perks. He was a bright wizard and you where somewhat in his shadow, it didn’t help that people constantly doubted your intelligence. Thinking you where only friends with Sherlock so you could pass classes. You worked your ass off for those grades. With or without Sherlock.

You stumbled your way into the great hall, sighing softly when their was no sign of Sherlock. Of course he wasn’t going to make this easy for you. He had your tie, he wanted something. You walked past a table, picking up an apple and taking gentle bites out of it, the noise of people chattering filled your eyes as you stared up at the huge Christmas tree in the corner. That’s right, Sherlock would be going home for Christmas. He’d invited you, but you’d declined. Christmas was for family after all. You smiled a little shaking Your head, you had Netflix and chocolates for Christmas. Plus most if not all the girls in your dorm would be gone. A practically empty school. Perfection.

You hadn’t noticed how far you’d wondered out of the great hall until you’d made your way to the whomping Willow tree. You knew not to get too close, she didn’t like that. You sighed softly as the wind blew through your hair, letting the breeze comfort you effortlessly.

“Blue tie L/N? Honestly, that man has you collared like a mutt.”

The Irish voice broke the silence, you didn’t face him. Moriarty. You knew it. You could feel it in your stomach. You and Moriarty weren’t really on speaking terms, he’d been harassing Sherlock a lot this month and you’d always been the one having to comfort the Ravenclaw after Moriarty visits. It didn’t help that Moriarty and Sherlock both shared a house. They where both Ravenclaws. Both so alike yet so different. Sherlock found it impossible to sleep in the same room as the man stood behind you. That had started the whole “study nights with Sherlock” thing. Sherlock would sleep with you, unbeknownst to the teachers, you where close. You wanted him to be safe.

You took yet another bite of your apple, the sour taste now running down your tongue and slipping down your throat. It was bitter. You threw the apple towards the willow tree and it sprang into action, destroying it in seconds. It was almost a warning. A warning for James to back off. Maybe he couldn’t find Sherlock either and that’s why he wanted to play with you. You wanted to tell you darker male to leave you alone, to push past him and never see him agian, but you couldn’t. In an odd way he had you wrapped around his finger, and only he knew that.

“I came out here looking for Sherlock. He has my tie. I wasn’t going to risk the house points.”

You stated, Still defiant and refusing to look at him. You knew it made his blood boil. He was taking time to give you attention. Attention that wasn’t being reciprocated.

“Didnt you hear? He left this morning.”

Those words rang in your ears as you swallowed dryly. He left without saying goodbye? It was stupid, of course it was, but it still bothered you. You two where always together. Then he just leaves? You thought you’d atleast get another week with him before he left for Christmas. You shook your head silently, finally looking into Moriartys deep eyes. Your stomach couldn’t handle it for too long as you looked away.

“Whoops. Have I told you something I shouldn’t? You should be used to this though, shouldn’t you? You’re always second best to him. If he leaves you. He still has John. Who do you have L/N?”

He practically sang those words but that didn’t stop the truth from hitting. You where going to be alone on Christmas. No matter what way you looked at it. Moriartys eyes softened as he looked down at you, was it pity? Possibly. You never knew with this man.

“He has a family. Which is more than either of us have. He’s his own person. He can leave if he wants too.”

You gently gripped Sherlock’s tie and pushed past moriarty, swiftly walking back inside. You weren’t about to doubt your best friend over this. No way. The day slowly blew over, you had been bored out of your mind without Sherlock. He annoyed the hell out of you, without him even magic couldn’t keep you entertained. 4 o’clock eventually chimed and you made your way to the library, there was one thing you could do that would pass the time. Work. You spent a good few hours revising alone. Picking out books and writing. Even practicing a few non-threatening spells while alone. You grew tired early, the sun just beginning to set as you put your last few books away, packing up your things and wandering down the empty corridor your ears picked up the soft Irish chuckle of moriarty once agian.

His laugh was sweet, it belonged in the hearts of millions. It was a shame it belonged to such a horrid person. You continued towards his voice, your feet moving without your mind even telling you too. He was stood near an open window, watching the sunset. He had quietened down and whatever he was laughing at had long since passed. Your hands traced the wall as you came up behind him, staring at the sunset, unsure of what to say. You knew this man. You knew him well. However once you started hanging around with Sherlock, you drifted. He was no longer the most important man in your life.

“It’s nice hearing you laugh agian..”

You spoke softly, looking up at moriarty, he didn’t even glance at you, but still acknowledged you. You gripped Sherlock’s tie a little tighter as you looked down. You felt the gentle touch of a hand brush yours as moriarty moved to hold your hand, still staring out. It was golden hour. Everything was beautiful. It was as if nothing had changed between you two.

“I do miss you sometimes darling, i must admit I hate how Sherlock acts like he owns you.”

Moriarty spoke gently, weaving a hand around your waste and holding you from behind, head placed on top of yours. Neither yours nor his eyes left from the gorgeous veiw of the lake just outside the window. Everything in that moment felt so right. You couldn’t even stop yourself from your own thoughts. They where a mess. Leaving you confused and somewhat brave. You couldn’t even prepare yourself for what was to come, but one string of words slipped out and for once, you where glad they did.

“Spend Christmas with me jim....”

[juliettalfacharlie]

a modified ship tag from a now-defunct account, to organize some of the smaller ideas

How long will they last? - middle age til death do 'em part.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - kya found lin attractive for decades, but the two werent ever in a place to go any further than her appreciative glances. lin didnt see kya as a possible partner until her late forties. once kya began staying with lin, she realized how much she would enjoy if it were permanent. lin got used to kya's presence, and it was like, wow, i actually can live with someone. this is possible. she tells kya, and the latter is enthusiastic. after a handful of dates & a couple months, it just feels right.

How was their first kiss? - graduated from light cheek-pecks before their date, to a soft, warm kiss once they got home. just nice and easy. exciting, definitely, but above else it was comforting.

Who proposed? - though discussed prior, lin would.

Who is the best man/groomsmen? - for lin, saikhan. kya's would be bumi or an oc friend.

Who is the maid of honour/bridesmaids?- kya would definitely have jinora, ikki, and an oc friend. lin would have an oc friend as well?

Who did the most planning? - lin did about 60%, kya the rest. it's kya's second, so she knows the ropes, but lin is a researching NERD and went wild. she's detail-oriented so she didnt want someone else, even a close friend, doing all of it for them.

Who stressed the most? - lin is worried, because she wants to make sure kya is alright with everything, but neither are too concerned about the ceremony itself.

How fancy was the ceremony? - high end venue, great food and stuff, but not so extravagant that it's in any way wasteful.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - politicians. poppy and lao instilled manners in her; lin would invite acquaintances she knew wouldnt come just out of politeness, but she will not stoop low enough to include those she actually dislikes. no media either.

Who does the most cooking? - 50% kya, 30% lin, 20% restaurants or takeout.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - lin by far. kya's adapted to just about anything.

Who does the grocery shopping? - lin picks up a few things each trip, often, while kya goes out and fills the pantry once a month.

How often do they bake desserts? - kya has more of a sweet tooth, but neither indulge frequently. most desserts are made with the air kids, or surrounding holidays.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - kya likes seafood and poultry, lin likes seafood and steak. salad is always a side dish, never main.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - they plan anniversaries & birthdays together. as far as surprise dinners in general, kya likes to cook different things, especially cuisines from her travels. random nights lin will get home to find a monster of a mess and an ecstatic girlfriend.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - kya.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - kya.

Who cleans the room? - lin has a monthly cleaning person who dusts and vacuums. between visits, she keeps everything orderly.

Who is really against chores? - neither. lin likes her residence neat. kya travelled for years, she got used to doing a lot on her own. she learns the ways lin keeps stuff like laundry, dishes, books, and adapts; it makes lin far more comfortable, and in turn, kya's happier.

Who cleans up after the pets? - both. if either sees an issue they deal with it immediately, but the pets are well-behaved in general.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - their guests are always friends, so it's hardly ever worrisome to invite people over. at first kya was apprehensive letting people into lin's house, but the two talked about it, and lin insisted she feel comfortable as well.

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - kya can spend an easy hour in the bathroom, reading or listening to the radio. post-long work day, lin will relax in the bath for half an hour, usually with kya's company.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - lin's got mornings, kya afternoon.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - lin pays for an exterior decorator because all the houses on the street are festive and she doesnt want to be a grinch. when kya stays/moves in, she puts stuff up inside. lin's not sure where she got it all, but there is now a dedicated holiday-closet.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - kya. she's just as likely to wake at dawn, however.

Who is worse to make angry? - kya. she forgives but will not forget.

Who decided on the pet(s)? - the whole animal discussion began when a family of wingless turtleducks migrated into a pond in lin's front yard. lin was so excited, checked in on them every day, added stones to make a shelter, bought animal-specific food to give them. when kya visited she fell in love with them too. many months later when kya moved in, lin brought up the wish of having a dog. considering the long and unpredictable hours, it had never been a fair idea. the conversation was casual, "it would have been cool to have a pet, but it wouldnt have ever worked out." but kya was like :o do you still want one, i've always wanted one. and lin's like, i suppose so, and begins considering it. a week later lin mentions it again and kya's very supportive. they went to a rescue and lin fell in love with a deer dog, and kya was spouting a number of possible names that had to have been thought of prior. she realizes kya was really into it too, so they pull the trigger and adopt it. half a year later lin comes home with a pygmy puma that had been imported by a triad leader, then released into the city once it got "too large." the poor animal had been mauled by a cat owl, and lin helped nurse it back to health. the small feline absolutely loves lin, and even enjoys the company of kya and (unnamed deer dog.)

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Geralt x Injured reader part 1

Part 2

Pairing: Geralt x reader (self insert)

Warnings: swearing, injury, blood, I think that's all?

Summary: Reader is feeling jealous and wanders too far from camp.

*********************

Hey guys! This is like my first fanfiction ever. And I wrote it at like 3am when I couldn't sleep. It's probably trash but if you like it I do have ideas for more! Xoxo enjoy****

Geralt x injured reader part 1

Jealousy was not a pretty color on you. And you swore riot yourself it was no such thing. After all Geralt of Rivia was just a teacher/friend you were travelling with. You had some skill with a sword, he found you trying to take down a kikkemora all by yourself, and failing miserably. After you saw how skilled he was you begged him to take you with him, to train you. He said no of course, so you just kept tagging along without his consent. At some point though he finally decided that if you were gonna come along you might as well be of some use so you made a deal.

Over the months you grew stronger but still had much to learn. After all it takes years for anyone to become a great fighter. And luckily for you, Geralt had many many many years of experience to offer you.

You enjoyed the time you spent togther, the conversation, (although you did most of the talking..) and the training, he was one of the few people in your life you felt comfortable with. Someone you could always count on. And somewhere along your travels the line between student and teacher blurred for you into something else, although you did your best to deny it at first.

You had gone off and caught feelings for the man who had no interest in real committed relationships. You knew you had it bad when you found yourself overflowing with irritation when he spent his nights in the arms of some whore at a dirty brothel.

On those nights you drank until you passed out on roach. Pretty fucking pathetic y/n.

Then came along the witch, Yennefer..

You saw how they looked at eachother, a look you'd wish Geralt would give you even for a fleeting moment.

There were creatures that had been attacking the villagers at night, so the three of you, well four since Jaskier decided to tag along when he spotted us, were tracking these monsters into the forest. You didnt mind Jaskier at all, his songs a welcome distraction from the obvious growing bond between Geralt and Yennefer.

You felt horrible for the animosity you felt towards her. She did nothing wrong and you hated that if not for your jealousy, you probably would have been close friends.

If you were a better women you could get over your silly crush and focus on your training but...

Yeah you had some growing to do. After searching the forest for a few hours, and finding nothing, everyone was tired and decided to set up camp.

Once Geralt tied down roach, he turned to address the group, "Everyone is to stay in camp, these monsters are dangerous, so if you need to take a piss, I suggest you do it behind a tent, unless you wanna risk getting your head shot off" he said rather gruffly.

Jaskier made a sound of discomfort and scooted closer to the fire.

"Dont worry jaskier, I'll protect you" you giggled.

He turned to you in amusement, "Ah yes how does go the training y/n, last I saw you, you could barely lift your sword" he teased.

"I've gotten rather good, mind if I practice on you?" You teased.

"Thanks but I think I better go and get my beauty sleep, good night" he smiled and retreated into his tent.

You went to feed roach some apples when you noticed that Geralt and Yennefer had dissapeared.

Huh? Where did they go? At first you thought they were in trouble since you didnt hear either of them say goodnight but as you got closer to the middle of camp you heard voices coming from Yennefers tent.

You told yourself not to look but you couldn't help it. And the instant you did you felt your heart break. It was one thing to see him in the arms of a whore. You knew they meant nothing to him, but in the arms of someone he cares for? That hurt...

Roughly you turned away from the kissing couple and marched away. Away from camp, away from stupid feelings and dumb petty jealousy.

It was not yennefers fault she was beautiful and powerful and brilliant. And if you were jealous then you should become just as amazing as she is. Maybe then he would notice you...

You were snapped out of your reverie when a rustle in the bushes caught your attention.

Fuck I was not supposed to leave camp...

Thinking quickly, you unsheathed your sword and held it at the ready. Its sharp edge gleaming in the moonlight.

Eyes narrowing at the bush. A moment later you were relived when a rabbit hopped out.

Phew I thought It was--

*SCRAWWWWWWWWCH*

Fuck

You barely missed the creatures slimy claws as it swiped for your head. Jumping to the side you managed to get a good look at the beast. It was rather large and spider looking, with several disgusting sets of beady eyes and a long slithering tough that dripped of something purple. So geralt was right, the creature lurking here was a visser. (Completely made it up on the spot) They're claws are sharp and quick but it's the tongue you have to watch our for. One jab, although not fatal can leave a man in bed for days from pain. 2 jabs in the same place? then your a goner. And the visser is known to be smarter, he distracts with claws and jabs quickly before you can even blink.

You knew you should probably yell for your companions. There was a chance they could hear you. But that very second you thought of yennefer and how she would be able to take on a monster like this.

That made up your mind...this monster was going to be your kill... youd finish this off and prove that you had gotten stronger if it's the last thing you do.

Although that would kind of defeat the purpose...

"Urgh" you landed roughly on the ground, one of its claws managed to swipe at you.

"Ok no more misses nice gal" regainging your stance, the glint of the moon shone on your opponent. With a visser you had a few options. Option 1, go for the head which kills instantly but the risk of a jab is highest.

Option 2 is cut off all the legs quickly then send your sword through the head. But if it dodges... you're dead meat.

Option 3, try to get under the beast where its tongue cant reach you and strike upwards. With your small stature option 3 sounded the smartest. You just had to move fast enough where it wouldnt be able to see you for a split second.

Alright y/n dont let your training go to waste! This is your chance to prove yourself.

Running faster than you've ever ran before, you circled around the visser waiting for when the creature was even a second slow and could not see you. The right moment was.....

Now! You sprinted forward and slid under its legs.

"Scrawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachh" the monster howled in pain as you slammed your sword directly up getting covered in visser guts in the process.

"Blegh how disgusting.." you swiped the guts off your face and stood in front of the slain beast.

For once in a long time you felt proud of yourself. You slayed a monster all by yourself, even Geralt said you hadn't been ready yet and often told you to stay back during fights. But he would have to eat up his words now hehe. You could just imagine everyone's faces when you would tell them.

You were too wrapped up in your glory to notice a second visser sneaking up behind you.

By the time you heard its screech, it was too late. Its slimy black tongue had struck your stomach leaving a sizzling pain behind it.

"FUCK" unsheathing your sword again, you tried to maneuver far enough out of its reach to thing of a plan. There was no way you could pull on option 3 again with the way your core burned. One more jab and it would be over. Damn it! why couldn't you just have your victory and be done with it!

One hand clutched at your injury while the other was positioned weakly in front of you. Your eyes blurred slights but you refused to let this shit swamp be your final resting place.

The burning subsided to an ache and you used that opportunity to make a mad dash into the thicket. You needed to think of a plan and quick, it would not take long for the visser to catch up with you, especially now that you had that stupid injury.

"Srawwwwwwwwwch" it sounded like it was right behind you. Fuck fuck fuck.

And then because mother nature decided to be a BITCH, you tripped on a large tree root and tumbled forward.

"Scraeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech" you flipped over quickly and shut your eyes as the visser was basically on top of you. 3 more seconds and you would be dead.

3, how pathetic y/n, after all these promises you made to yourself about becoming someone worth being proud of you fuck up the one chance you had.

2, maybe it's better this way, would anyone even miss you? Jaskier would, maybe he would even write a song about you..

1, I'm sorry I was an idiot...Geralt I'll watch over you...

"SWOOOOOOOOSH" the unmistakable sweet sound of metal slicing through flesh made your eyes shoot wide open.

"Geralt!" He stood out of breath hovering over the now beheaded visser. His sharp golden eyes moved from the beast, to you.

Without a word he reached over and pulled you up without a hint of gentleness. You hid your wince at the sudden movement. Not wanting to let anyone know that the visser had gotten the better of you.

"What happened" he bit out slowly. Fuck he was angry. "Why did you leave camp y/n when I explicitly told you not to" his feline eyes bore into yours and suddenly you felt too intimated and looked away.

Ah yes what excuse will I come up with now. Sorry Geralt I had to leave because I felt immense pressure and heartache seeing you and Yennefer over there locking lips and most passionately I might add.

When he noticed my hesitation he let out a growl, "Hmm, don't lie to me"

Fuuuuuuuuuck...

"I-I didnt mean to, really... I couldn't sleep so I was walking close to camp and I didnt even realize I had wandered so far until the other visser attacked." You looked him in the eyes knowing it would better your chances of him believing it.

He stared at you a few more seconds before letting out a sigh.

" You killed it" he said bluntly, and softer than before.

"I did.." you couldn't help the small smile that formed on your face. He sighed again, this time he had a small smirk on his face, "Well I guess you have learnt some things after all" he patted your shoulder but pulled away when Yennefer and Jaskier appeared.

"Y/n thank god your alive, are you alright?!" Jaskier grabbed your shoulders and scanned you for injuries. Luckily your stomach was covered by your armor, visser Jabs were known for hurting like hell at first, seeming to get better shortly after, then coming back tenfold. Right now you were at stage two, the calm before the storm..

Yennefer made a comment about how impressive you were to slay the visser and you hated yourself for still feeling ill towards her. She was a great person and you could not blame Geralt for liking her. It was just an unfortunate situation.

The walk back was quiet and the second you were in your tent again you dared to take a look at the wound. Gingerly you unbuckled your armor and lifted up your shirt.

You let out a small sigh of relief. It just looked like a large bruise. Nothing you couldn't pass off as a "I fell off roach" kinda injury.

As positive as you tried to be, you knew the worst was yet to come. But by god you were not about to let your victory be ruined by your companions knowing of this. Especially since Yennefer and Geralt could've slain the beast without a scratch.

Somehow you were lucky and slept the rest of the night in peace. It was early when jaskier came to wake you. Although you slept plenty, you felt just as exausted as you did after your late night encounter.

Before putting on your armor, you dared to look at the wound again. You regretted it the moment you did.

Fuck me... the bruise was much darker than before and covered a larger area. As for the pain, it felt only slightly more sore which was good for now. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to find out about it.

Quickly you threw togther the rest of your things and met the others. According to the village leader there was one more visser out there so we continued our search deeper into the forest. It was around noon when the pain intensified. It started as a constant dull ache but gradually became a burning sensation. It was becoming harder to hide it.

You made up some excuse to the group and sat on top of roach. You were sure if you had to walk anymore you would have fallen over. Luckily for awhile jaskier was more preoccupied with his latest ballad and geralt and yen were wrapped up in some serious conversation. You didnt realize how far you were lagging behind until jaskier turned to you.

"Y/n?" He walked over to you and pulled on roaches reigns making him go a little faster.

"Hm" was all you could manage.

"Are you alright? You're sweating so much"

Confused you ran a hand over your head. He was right, you were and didnt even feel it.

"Yo- sic- rest-" what? Why was Jaskier talking gibberish...and why is he so blurry?

You didnt even feel yourself pitching to the side, just the woosh of air through your ears.

"Y/N!? Y/N what's wrong?!?!" Jaskier barely managed to catch your half conscious form. "GERALT!" The witcher swung around sword at the ready but widened his eyes in shock at what he saw.

Y/n was on the floor, breathing heavily and being propped up by Jaskier.

Geralt and Yennefer quickly ran over. The witchers eyes narrowed in concern when he saw the state of her. She was sweating profusely and looked to be struggling with something. Yennefer raised a hand to her forehead but shook her head. "Its not a fever".

Geralt held her up, lightly smacking her face, he grew even more worried when she didnt react.

"Jaskier what happened"

"I don't know, I noticed she was falling behind so I went to check on her, then I noticed she looked sick, I was telling her we should stop and rest but then she just collapsed. She seemed really out of it too.

At that moment a grunt of pain escaped y/n's lips, and her eyes slowly opened.

You were confused as to why when you opened your eyes, gerald's golden ones were staring at yours with intense concern.

"Y/n can you hear me??" he questioned furrowing his brows.

"I-I ahhhgh" you screwed your eyes shut as the pain intensified. It felt like someone had set your stomach on fire.

This only confused geralt more, "you're hurt" he said as more of a statement.

"Where is the pain y/n," the gentle voice of yennefer surrounded you. Ugh why couldn't she just be a bitch, it would make things so much easier.

You tried speaking but a moan left your lips instead. Fuck this hurt worse than anything you had encountered before.

Geralt closed his eyes as if he had a sudden realization, "you got hit by the visser didnt you"

When you didnt speak but he saw the look in your eyes he knew it was true. "Fuck".

Quickly he began removing your armor and saw the injury peeking from under your shirt. He wasted no time lifting it up just until below your chest. You heard small gasps but were too out of it to know from who.

"Fuck y/n, why didn't you say anything??" Geralt scolded as he examined the wound.

Luckily you didnt have to answer, just focus on breathing heavily.

"Will she be alright?!" The frantic voice of jaskier floated through your ears.

"It would have been better if she told us from the beginning, with a visser attack you need to stay still as much as you can. However by the looks of it she only got hit once, which means she still has a chance."

"What can we do?" Was it yennefer or jaskier who said that?

Geralt pulled a sack from roach and rummaged through it till he pulled out a yellowish filled bottle.

Lifting y/n with one arm he pulled the cork with his teeth and gently placed it between her lips. "Drink y/n" without a second thought you downed the strange liquid coughing as it burned your throat like liquor.

"What is that?" Jaskier asked curiously.

" it's for the pain, it'll make her feel like shes dreaming." Geralt threw her armor onto roach and lifted her up carefully into his arms. "Let's go" he ordered and the troup was once again on their way. Geralt gave one look at the now sleeping y/n and sighed. What was she thinking?

***************************

When you opened your eyes the first thing you did was let out a girlish laugh.

Geralt was surprised for a moment since you had been silently resting in his arms for a long time. "Y/n?"

"Geralt! You've dyed your hair pink! How adorable!" You reached up and pulled at the cotton soft locks.

The witcher sighed, knowing this was the effect of the medicine. Jaskier and yennefer let out a small laugh at the scene of the two.

"Go back to sleep y/n, you need rest" he commanded softly.

"GERALT!" you suddenly exclaimed! "Oh no you cant be the white wolf anymore! Oh no oh no oh no WAIT I GOT IT! YOU CAN BE THE PINK PONY! QUICK JASKIER WRITE THIS DOWN!!"

"Ah yes the witcher, pink pony of the north, has a nice ring to it" jaskier couldn't contain his laughter.

Geralt decide it best to ignore her and keep walking forward.

"Geralt?" He chose to ignore her again. "Geralt....?"

"Gerrrrrallllllt?"

"GERALT!"

"Geralt geralt geralt geralt geralt geralt"

"What?!" He bit out annoyed.

"Do you think I'm pretty? hehe" he was caught off guard and was not sure how to answer. It didnt help the other two were just giggling behind him.

"I um....yeah" he said awkwardly.

"So I dont look like a troll?" You asked earnestly.

"Pfft what?" Now geralt was the one who couldn't control his laughter.

"Don't laugh!" You suddenly pouted. "A long time ago one of my lovers said I looked like a troll when he broke up with me.."

Still amused geralt shifted you to meet his eyes, "No y/n, you do not look like a troll"

"Phew thank god, I dont know what I would have done..." you laid a hand against your head dramatically.

"Now will you please stop squirming and go back to sleep" geralt sighed out.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm......alright I've decided to go to sleep since I need sleep and it's what I have decided" you saluted the air.

"Finally.." he grumbled.

With a smile you reached both arms around his neck and brought your soft lips to his unshaven cheek.

"Goodnight pinky, sweet creams" he was shocked for a moment then let out an exasperated laugh.

"Goodnight y/n...sweet creams"

******************

To be continued in part 2!

[biscuitfam]

Left Behind

REQUEST: Also I would like to request either a 10th doctor imagine, maybe something where the reader gets confronted with some past trauma the doctor didnt know about and just angst and fluff (Sorry this is just a weak concept and I am a sucker for drama/angst) - @whatiswrongwithpeople

Summary: Sometimes the man doesn’t know when to stop. Especially when it comes to his harsh words and a fragile lover.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

WC: 1k roughly

Warnings: N/A

A/N: I have a new love for the scheduling system. It makes everything so much easier!

More times than not the Doctor’s tongue caught the better of him. The thing about the Doctor is that words have always been his favorite form of weapon. Words are powerful, extraordinarily powerful. He can stop armies from burning down civilizations into a crisp. He can stop the self-destruction of colonies, and entire empires. A look of him radiating with rage can stop anyone dead in their tracks, and cause them to think twice.

However, when it comes to romance he couldn’t be more oblivious to your emotions and feelings.

Today had already been rough enough with the TARDIS breaking in the middle of an extremely busy alien city. Streets were littered with people bustling around between the lunch rush hours, and others scrambling to find the best deals at the market. You sat inside on the grated floor as he tinkered away underneath the console board with wires between his teeth, glasses perched on a sweaty nose, and shoes digging into the underbelly of the ancient girl for grip. It was growing increasingly hot, and as a result you were cranky. You groaned and rolled onto your stomach, now fully facing him. The man-made your heart leap, yet at the same time it sunk to the bottom of your stomach. How could a man so beautiful and pure become yours? And stay with you?

-

You stood across from him with a beet-red face in a strong attempt not to cry after a brutal argument on the way back from a parts shop. The two of you had ventured off into the city to attempt to gather any scrap metal that could be turned into repair parts. Something had begun to act up with the console board, leading to the events occurring now. Possibly the heat or the cooling system malfunctioned due to the overly hot and humid temperatures occurring before. However, he was blaming you for the issue. Claiming it was your fault the TARDIS wasn’t moving.

He turned to face you with a dirty look once inside, “ Until you can take back the time I wasted on you, I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Your shoulders dropped from the initial shock that ran through you. That comment was so unlike the man who strives for kindness. You pushed past him roughly, colliding your shoulder directly into his ribs for extra measure. He knew, he knew that you felt guilty for being a priority and reliability of his. He knew of your past problems of feeling alone and being forgotten.

You had always been left behind.

-

Where are you going?

Please don’t leave me!

Why are you doing this?

-

The words swirled inside your head of all the times you begged loved ones to stay, and past lovers are by your side. Before meeting the Doctor you weren’t the best person you could be. You often caught up in the wrong crowd and did stunts that you are shameful of. He made you into a better person, and in return you helped him too. However, he never made comments like those. Even when he was especially angry with you.

“ I don’t want anything to do with you.”

He never said told you that before. Even when you two were just friends, a simple companion. You leaned against the poles of the TARDIS with a hand-drawn through your hair clutching at its roots. The stress, guilt, and self-doubt filled your soul and it fucking hurt. It hurt so damn much feeling that pain and shame run through you the same way it did when your ex treated you so horribly, and the same way your friends belittled you. You felt ashamed of yourself, and for what? It was eating you alive.

A small cough sounded behind you. You turned to face the man who stood by the doors still covered in grease with sleeves rolled up to the elbows and shirt unbuttoned to show the cotton slip underneath. He looked like a wreck being all scruffy and out of his usual cleaned up, proper self.. He was truly distraught judging his facial expressions. You looked back towards your fingernails and plucked at them slightly, sliding the nails underneath the beds of the opposites, and digging out the underbelly. Nervous finger picking. The sound of the creaking metal increased as he stood before you. A lanky tower of rose-colored pinstripes and converse.

“ I’m sorry—“

“ Save it, I’ll pack my things and go.” You started and turned to leave towards the hall when he trapped your wrist tightly and spun you back towards his chest.

“ I’m sorry. I never meant to say that. I was angry, frustrated, furious, heated—“ He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and slipped the glasses off of the bridge of his nose.

“ You were mad. I know. I understand and I forgive you...I just get scared. After what he did to me, my ex. I’m scared of being alone.”

The Doctor’s face fell completely into pale white. He didn’t say a word as his hands slipped across your face and tangled within your hair for a soft embrace. His deep brown eyes locked with yours one last time before you face collided with the soft, greasy clothing. The dual beat of his hearts made you feel at home with its rhythm and warmth. Often times the man never knew when to open his mouth, and when to close it. His timing of speech never aligned to the moment. Romance had always been his weak spot in all the perfections he claimed to have.

Although, fights sometimes occur between couples, and that’s quite alright. Communication is wonderful. Great, honestly. It takes two to work through a problem and this solution was a simple hug. A hug that provides warmth, shelter, and safety. A hug that gives a sense of belonging and trust. The feeling of home and protection. You nuzzled further into his chest and buried your nose into the smeared shirt not caring about becoming dirty.

Right now, you definitely needed your home.

[marinerainbow]

Hi! I have a Darkwing request! In the show, there is one clip where Gos needs to get in bed, but she won’t. So Drake chases her, until he gets distracted. It was such a cute moment! I was wondering if you could write just a small amount of family fluff, where Drake is chasing Gos around the house, while Launchpad watches, possibly cheering them both on. It’s ok if you don’t! No pressure! That moment is just really cute!

EEEE!!!! I DIDNT EXPECT A REQUEST THIS EARLY!!!! THANK YOU!!!

Anyways, I better calm down so you can (hopefully) enjoy a drabble! I'm still new to writing so hopefully it wont suck too much.

-

"GOSALYN!"

The red headed girl slid under the coffee table, her father jumped over it.

Launchpad was standing off to the side as he watched his two best friends chase each other around the house. He knew well by now it was best to stay out of the way when they got like this.

"C'mon 'DW!" The pelican called out after dodging the two speeding avians, "Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if 'Gos stayed up for a little longer?" He asked, trying to reach a compromise.

"Yeah dad!" Of course Gosalyn would agree with that, "It's only 10:30! I'm twelve now so I can stay up a bit longer!"

Drake may have been a crime fighting hero, but if there was one person in the entire world who could give him a run for his money, it was most definitely his daughter. He may have been fighting criminals for years, but Gosalyn was small, a hockey player, and spirited.

"Staying up past your bedtime is bad for your health!" Drake exclaimed after emerging from the closet he crashed into, "When I say it's time for bed young lady, I mean it!"

Drake had almost caught Gosalyn, before she leapt out of his grasp and over the lazy boy. Exasperated, he called out to his trusty sidekick, "Launchpad!"

Launchpad jumped out of the way just in time before either duck rammed into him, "Well uh, you know 'Gos, your dad's right! Not getting enough sleep can make you tired all the time and you cant focus on work, you could get bags under your eyes, maybe you should go to be-"

The crash and frustrated yell that was heard from the kitchen told Launchpad that they were all gonna be here for awhile.

-

The short duck sluggishly walked down the stairs, he looked like he had just ran a marathon!

Which considering who he was chasing around the house only an hour ago, he probably did.

Gosalyn had finally tuckered out after... a few hours or so of running, hiding, and sneaking out of bed. Drake was finally able to tuck her in, sing her her lullaby- despite how much she claimed she was too old, Drake could see the smile form on Gosalyn's face when he offered to sing it to her. Only minutes ago was she resisting bedtime, but now she was sound asleep.

Drake practically collapsed onto the couch, Launchpad was waiting for him with a glass of water, which Drake wasted no time in chugging.

Launchpad chuckled a bit seeing his friend, he would have been more than happy to help but Drake insisted on getting Gosalyn to bed himself, "Looks like 'Gos finally hit the hay huh?"

Drake looked like he was ready to pass out himself, he didnt respond so Launchpad continued, "Looks like your battery could use a little recharge too! Hehe."

"What? No I'm fine!" The duck claimed, raising a single finger in the air, forcing himself to stand and make a heroic pose, "My spirited daughter is no match for the terror that flaps in the night!"

Launchpad resisted the urge to remind Drake that Gosalyn had actually threw him off her trail without leaving the house.

Instead, he stood up and stretched, "So DW, we got any crime fighting to catch up on?"

At this, the mallard sunk back on the couch, looking dejected and frustrated at the same time, "No! Not a single crime tonight! Since when dies a city not have crime!?"

Nevermind the fact that this has happened a couple times.

Launchpad offered Drake a reassuring smile, "Hey, that means you can get some rest! From the looks of things you need a nap after that chase, hehe!"

Drake gave Launchpad a slight glare, he knew that the pelican meant well, but how could he rest when his city could be in trouble? "Oh please LP, hasn't being my sidekick taught you anything? St. Canard is never 'at peace'! In fact, I bet there will be a robbery right now!" Than he clicked on the radio that was sitting on the lamp table.

Nothing to report.

"Uh, DW-"

"Ok, ok, ok, so maybe the broadcaster is late!" Drake exclaimed, "Theres no problem in checking!"

Launchpad sighed as he watched his friend head over to the two chairs that would lead to his secret lair. Sitting on one, he looked expectantly at Launchpad, "C'mon LP!"

Launchpad stood up and walked towards Drake, but he didnt sit down in the other chair, "C'mon DW," he started, "It's late! And Gosalyn tuckered you out! Theres no harm in taking a power nap!"

Drake shook his head as he looked at Launchpad scoldingly, "Launchpad, like I told you, imperfectly Fi..."

As if on cue, Drake let out a massive yawn.

...

Launchpad crossed his arms and quirked a brow at Drake but he still smiled, "That looks pretty tired to me."

Drake crossed his arms, not unlike a child who didnt get their way, "I'm not tired!"

Launchpad shook his head, not in a dissapointed manner, and said, "Drake, you havent been getting much sleep lately, you should take this chance!"

Logically speaking, Drake knew Launchpad was right. He had to tell Gosalyn that every other night. But st the same time, he wasnt a twelve year old, he was St. Canards hero! He couldnt just sleep now!

Even so, Drake couldnt deny the way his eyes felt droopy, or how it felt like the chair he was sitting in felt like it was pulling him into itself. Not to smother him, but to lull him to sleep.

Of course, no chair- no matter how comfy it may be- was no match for the great Darkwing Duck! He would rise above this bout of exhaustion! He would show the world that nothing could keep the terror that flaps in the night down!

However, he should have made that resolve sooner, for now the hero of St. Canard had succumbed to the clutches of sleep.

...

'Wow,' the pelican thought, 'I didnt think that would work!'

At first, Launchpad considered carrying Drake upstairs to his own bedroom, but than he remembered that with Drakes instincts, he would be wide awake and alert if someone touched him.

So instead, Launchpad quickly, but quietly, got a spare blanket from the linen closet and carefully placed it over his friend. He wanted to grab a pillow too, but he would have to have moved Drakes head to fit it under him.

When he made sure Drake was snug, Launchpad sat back down on the couch, leaning his head against his palm as he felt his own eyes get droopy.

Launchpad would have gone to his own bedroom to sleep, but before he knew it, he had fallen against the couch, already snoring peacefully.

End.

_

I meant to get this done sooner, but I was having a hard time getting the scenes in my head and portraying them into words, sorry for the wait!

I... I dont know if it's just my own paranoia, but I feel like the ending was bland. I coukdnt think of anything else to put in.

But anyways, I would VERY much appreciate constructive criticism! Dont be shy!

Again, thank you so much for requesting! Have a good day!

[shhh-no-ones-home]

i propose toast steve rogers x reader

+++++++++

shes still hella short, i have one more prompt story to edit and post after my next queued story. I hope you all really like it (non-promt) though, it's dad!Ryan sitkowski and I'm hype for you all to read it 😃

prompts:

31. Eat your lunch and you wouldn't be hungry

5. You haven't even touched your food what's going on

70. I can't stand seeing you like this

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

I sat at the table and stared at the food in front of me. My legs were curled up under me in a cross position and my hands were folded in my lap. I didnt want to be rude and get up but i also didnt want to eat in case it came back up later. Steve had taken so much time out of his day to cook for me and i didnt want to waste it in a few short hours to the depths of the toilet bowl. I sighed heavily and was shaken from my thoughts as steve walked up behind me.

"Enjoying lunch?"

I shrugged and picked up the fork, pushing the meatballs across the plate of pasta and gravy.

"Im hungry but i dont want to eat it."

"Well eat your lunch and you wouldnt be hungry."

He laughed a little before turning around from his place in front of the fridge; water bottle in hand. I smiled a little at him and turned my attention back to pushing the food around. Before i knew it steve was sat next to me at the table with a concerned look on his face.

"You havent even touched your food, whats going on?"

I just shrugged.

"I havent really been feeling good lately. And i know you spent time on this and i really want to eat it but im worried that if i eat it that itll make me sick. Just like everything else ive eaten the last couple of days has."

I dropped the fork and placed my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the table on either side of the plate. Steve slid the plate away from me and place a soft hand on my back, rubbing small circles.

"I cant stand seeing you like this, you always enjoy eating the food made by everyone on the team. As odd as it sounds, its like one of your personality traits. You're always up for trying something new and you can definitely tell something is wrong when you stop eating."

I let out a laugh and looked up to see steve giving me a sad smile.

"As odd as it sounds, your right. I want to eat it all, i just cant, my stomach literally wont let me."

He rubbed my back some more.

"Well how about this. I make you some toast, you try to eat that and when you feel better i will make this again. And until then im off the rest of the day and volunteer all the cuddles, just to make you feel better."

I giggled at his offer but gladly nodded my head at him.

"That would be great steve, thanks."

He stood up and made his way to the bread box on top of the fridge.

"Of course, what kind of friend would i be if i let you suffer by yourself huh?"

He smiled over at me and i gladly smiled back.

"Not a super one thats for sure."

He gave me a look to which i winked back at. Hopefully this would be the beginning of a short recovery process.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

One Short Day

A JSE Fanfic

Yay, I wrote something that isn’t connected to pain for once in my life! Or at least, the most you get are hints and maybe a moment. I was planning on working on something else, but...I don’t know, I just felt like I needed something softer, and I’m sure there are people who need that too. So behold, an attempt at mostly-fluff! I just wanted to write the boys having fun out on the town, simple enough ^-^

It was rare that there was a full day they could all be together. A day where Schneep wasn’t working, Chase wasn’t recording, Marvin didn’t have a show, and Jackie didn’t have to bolt off at the last minute to do heroic vigilantism. A day where they could just do whatever they wanted, all of them, together.

They met up at Jackie’s apartment building. Naturally, JJ arrived first, then Schneep and Chase at about the same time. Just when they were starting to get worried, Marvin showed up, sprinting up to the group and skidding to a halt beside them.

“Late again, I see?” Jackie said when Marvin finally caught his breath. “Maybe we should just tell you we’re meeting thirty minutes earlier than we actually are.”

“Gimme a break.” Marvin rolled his eyes. “My phone was out of battery so I couldn’t check the time, then I got distracted.”

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “With what?”

“Um...” Marvin looked away, embarrassed. “I may have started playing Plague Inc...for an hour...or more.”

“Dude. Set a timer next time or something,” Chase said. “Ask JJ if you can borrow one of his watches if you have to, I dunno, anything.”

“Enough of this, we are wasting minutes,” Schneep said, checking his own watch. “Jackie decided what to do, what is it?”

Jackie immediately brightened. “Okay, so, we all know JJ hasn’t seen much of the town.” Everyone nodded. “So I thought we could give him the grand tour! Get lunch, go to the park, and I think the fair is open tonight so we can finish with that. That good with everyone?”

“So we’re just gonna walk all over town?” Chase asked. “Only two of us can drive, and none of us have a car right now.”

“Toughen up, Chase, walking’s good for you!” Marvin teased. “Right? Schneep, you’re a doctor, tell him I’m right.”

“He’s right,” Schneep said.

“See?!”

JJ snapped his fingers for attention. I thought we were wasting time? I certainly can’t lead the way, so I’ll ask one of you to.

“Right!” Jackie started off. “C’mon guys, lunch is waiting for us!”

They ended up at a local restaurant near the center of town called Kassie’s. It was a quaint little place, and since it was a warm day they decided to sit at a table outside. The chipper waitress gave them a plate of free fries, then took their order, and headed back inside.

“Is it just me, or is it kind of hot today?” Chase asked, fanning himself with some of the napkins.

“No, it’s not just you. God, I’m dying,” Jackie agreed.

“Jackie, you are not only wearing long sleeves, you are wearing two layers of them,” Schneep pointed out with a smile.

“Oh, you’re one to talk, Mr. Sweater-all-the-time!” Jackie rolled his eyes. “What about Jays? He’s got that vest/dress shirt on.”

JJ looked aghast. You four can run around and show your arms all you like, but I’ll have you know it isn’t proper for a gentleman!

“Are you implying we aren’t gentlemen?” Marvin asked, right before tossing a fry into the air and catching it in his mouth.

JJ raised an eyebrow. Indeed.

“I don’t care, it’s hot. I’m taking this off.” With a few flailing arms, Jackie pulled his hoodie over his head and tugged it off, revealing a Marvel-themed T-shirt underneath. “Ah. That’s better.” He looked around to see the others staring at him with wide eyes. “What?”

“Holy shit, Jackie!” Chase yelled. “Your arm!”

“Wh—oh fuck I forgot I was wearing short sleeves today.” Jackie looked down at his left arm. “Yeah, okay, I got scars, you can look all you want.”

“So that’s why I’ve never seen you in T-shirts,” Marvin realized. “Jackie, what the fuck happened?”

Jackie frowned, then coughed awkwardly. “Y’know...I’d rather not talk about it right now. Maybe later. Besides, Schneep already knows the story. ‘S how we met.”

“Honestly, you three are making mountains out of mole hills,” Schneep said. “Is fine now. You should see his torso, now those are scars.”

That only made the other three look more worried. Jackie sighed. “Look, guys, we’re having a fun day. We’re gonna have fun, and not gonna get all concerned, though I do appreciate it. And you—” he glared at Schneep “—need to stop saying that, ‘cause it makes it sound like I lost some epic battle instead of just having top surgery.”

Chase and Marvin relaxed in unison. “I’m still convinced you have, I dunno, fucking bullet scars or something,” Marvin muttered as Chase pulled the remains of the fries towards him.

“Oh yeah, but Schneep’s talking about the surgery. He’s done this before, and it’s no longer funny!” Jackie looked pointedly at Schneep when saying that last part, who just responded with a massive grin.

JJ was the only one who still looked concerned, but now that was paired with confusion. He looked around at the others. What is top surgery?

You could almost hear the hiss as the others all inhaled sharply in unison. They’d all forgotten for a moment that JJ didn’t know. Schneep cleared his throat. “Jackie, would you like to explain?”

“Right yeah. God, where do I start with this?” There was a slight pause in the conversation as the waitress returned with their food. The moment she was out of earshot, Jackie started up again. “Alright, so...” he leaned forward, hands clasped together, eyes wide and nervous. “You know how I call myself Jackieboy Man, right?”

JJ nodded. A moniker I never understood, but yes.

“Well, I didn’t always call myself that. Neither did anyone else. Because, well, they all thought that...I was a, uh, girl. Even I did. For the longest time I just sort of...accepted it. I only started to figure it out in high school. I got my first job, and one of the customers called me ‘that nice lady,’ and hearing it...just sort of surprised me. Like someone gave the wrong answer to a really easy test question. So...I started thinking, and eventually I realized that I wasn’t...actually a girl. That was when I renamed myself.”

JJ didn’t look any less confused. Why would they not understand that? Wouldn’t they be able to...see that you are not?

Jackie winced. “Well, no...you see, I...fuck.” Jackie put his head in his hands, took a deep breath, then looked up again. “I was born...in the wrong body. Top surgery is...it’s to get rid of the parts I didn’t want. Are you...are you getting this now?”

After a moment, JJ’s eyes widened. He nodded hesitantly.

“Okay. Good. Great.” Jackie sighed. “I don’t know if this word existed in the twenties, but nowadays we have ‘transgender’ as...a thing. When someone is something other than what their body is born as. I’m still a he. Or, just, anything but she, really. Literally call me anything but a girl. And please, don’t ask about what my name was before. Or what’s...down there. Those questions make me...really uncomfortable.”

My good man! JJ signed. Why would I do such a rude thing? And to my dear friend, nonetheless. 

Jackie’s shoulders slumped. He leaned back in his chair and exhaled in relief. He’d been dreading this conversation, but better to rip the bandaid off now. “Thanks, man. I...appreciate your understanding.”

JJ smiled. No trouble at all, Jackie! I may not fully grasp the concept, but that’s no reason to disrespect your wishes.

“If you want, I can answer questions. Just...later. And as long as you get I don’t represent everyone who’s trans.”

JJ nodded and gave a thumbs-up. There was silence for a moment, before Chase broke it by saying “Hey, guys, I made a Jenga tower out of fries.”

Schneep rolled his eyes, and immediately knocked over Chase’s tower.

“Aw you bitch!” Chase gasped. “You didn’t even play the game right!”

“Fuck your games. Actually eat the food like it’s supposed to be.”

“You’re just jealous cause you got a salad instead.”

“Maybe I am! Did you think of that?!”

“Dude, I just said I did!”

The rest of lunch was covered in the blanket of familiar banter. Jackie smiled to himself. God, he was so glad nothing changed.

About two hours later, the boys had made their way to the southern part of the city. That was where the park was. It had an official name, but everyone just called it “the park” because there was only one of them and it was shorter. The park itself was pretty big, with trees, paths, flowerbeds, and two playgrounds at either end.

Since it was the middle of the afternoon, there were quite a few families with young children hanging around, parents watching their kids climb all over the jungle gyms and pushing them on the swings. While Marvin and Jackie walked ahead, pulling JJ with them and talking his ears off, Chase and Schneep hung back a bit. Chase was staring at the families on the playground.

“Chase? Are you okay?” Schneep asked gently. 

“Yeah...yeah, I’m fine. It’s not a down day.” Schneep gave him a Look. “No, really! It’s just...y’know, seeing all the kids kinda bums me out. You know?”

“Of course I do, Chase,” Schneep said. He was probably the only one of the boys who did. “If you are feeling upset, you can go home.”

“No! God, no, that’s not what I meant at all. This has been good so far. I don’t want it to end.” Chase frowned. “Now I’m just...man. I’m starting to lose it.”

“Chase.” Schneep grabbed his hand. “If you are not enjoying yourself, we can always go do something more quiet. We would hate to push you to do something you are not up to.”

Chase considered it for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah, it’s not too bad. It helps that you guys are here, I think. But I’ll let you know...if it gets too much.”

Schneep gave him a long look, before finally judging that everything was alright. “Okay. You have to do that, or I am going to break into your home at night and yell at you for lying.”

“Okay, okay, I get the idea,” Chase laughed. He looked down at their clasped hands. “You’re not worried people are gonna think we’re a couple, then?”

“What? Oh. Is there no such thing as regular hand-holding in this country?! Besides, it should not fucking matter. Also you are not my type anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re not mine, either. You’re a guy.” Chase and Schneep both had a good laugh at that.

Marvin looked over his shoulder at the two of them. “Are you two gonna walk fast or what?”

“Or what,” Chase said with a smirk.

“Oh, you’re hilarious. A fucking comedic genius. Hey guys!” he said that last part to Jackie and JJ. “We’re gonna slow down so these two assholes can join us.”

“Marvin, how dare you,” Schneep said, mock-offended. “At least be more creative in your insulting us.”

“No.” The two mini-groups merged together to form the main group once again. “So what’re you two talking about?”

“Chase is worried that hand-holding makes a couple,” Schneep tattled.

“Bullshit,” Marvin stated. Jackie went “yeah!” in the background. JJ frowned at the use of language, but nodded. “What makes a couple is the kissing. And romantic interest in each other, which leads to the former.”

“You say, having not been on a date in at least five months,” Jackie muttered.

“Shut your stupid face, you...lovely person.” Marvin pulled his wand out of his pocket and twirled it, like he did when he was nervous. “We’ve all been kinda busy lately.”

“Yeah...that’s true,” Jackie sighed. “But maybe if you went out more, you could find someone you could go out with. Just once, if a commitment isn’t your thing right now.”

Marvin frowned. “Why in the wide world of wingmen would I go on a date once deliberately?”

“A night of fun?” Schneep suggested.

“With a complete stranger that I have no interest in? No. I need to have some intrigue in whoever they end up being.”

“None of you are gonna get anywhere with him,” Chase said. “He doesn’t get one-night stands.”

“Damn right I don’t! There’s no point!”

And it just seems improper, JJ signed. If you aren’t going to court someone, don’t approach them at all.

“Marvin! You have an ally!” Jackie gasped. 

“Good. Finally, someone who agrees with me.” Marvin held up his hand and, after a moment of figuring out, JJ high-fived it. “Yeah! There we go, you got it!”

Jackie checked the time on his phone. “Alright, it’s starting to get a bit late. If we want to get enough time at the fair, we’re gonna have to book it to the eastern side.”

They didn’t actually run the whole way there, despite Jackie wanting to. By the time they got to the fair the sun was starting to set. They bought tickets and headed inside, where the Ferris wheel and the roller coaster towered over the smaller rides and the carnival games. It was a weekday, but it was one of the first days the fair was open, so the fairgrounds were crowded but not packed.

Chase gasped. “Games. We can do the games first.”

You do realized they’re all rigged, right? JJ asked.

“Who cares? They’re fun! Games now.”

Soon, the others started to suspect that the reason Chase was so eager to play games was because he knew he would win every time. The dude was scarily good. A combination of sheer luck, skill, and fuck-it-let’s-take-a-chance-ness led to many more victories than the others, something Marvin and Schneep immediately called him out for.

“You are cheating, I am sure of it!” Schneep huffed, folding his arms.

“Nah, just have a knack for it. And, in this case, practice.” Chase tossed one of the wooden balls back and forth while he waited for the carnival worker to hand him his prize. “Ya gotta aim for a bit above the spot where the third jug sits on top of the other two, then throw hard. It’s a bit of an arc.”

“No, you’re a cheater,” Marvin asserted, muttering darkly.

“Aw, c’mon! Here, will this make you less salty?” Chase accepted his stuffed prize from the worker, then handed it right over to Marvin. “I got it for you! You like cats.”

Marvin glared down at the plushie. “You’re lucky it has a cute face,” he said.

“See?!” Chase smiled. He was actually having a good time. It was a good change of pace from the park.

Eventually, everyone had a prize except for JJ. They were running out of games to play, but then Jackie spotted one of those ‘find the ball under the shuffling cups.’ “Hey guys, you up for that one?”

JJ brightened. I’m actually quite skilled at those!

“Well, then, let’s go!” Jackie pulled him over, the others in tow.

The carnival worker was calling out the rules of the game. “You get one, you win one of these lovely roses, you get two in a row, you win one of these tiny fellows here, and you get three in a row, you win one of these adorable penguins! Step right up, step right up!”

“Hey!” Jackie waved to get the worker’s attention. “We want to play!”

“Well then, young sirs, the rules are simple. Keep your eye on the ball, see right here, right here, it’s under the middle cup. Now watch as I take the cup this way, then that, then this and oh look at that! It’s goin’ fast, it’s goin’ fast don’t lose it don’t lose it! Now, which one is the ball under?”

Jackie was fairly sure he knew where it was, but he turned to JJ anyway. “So, which one?” he asked.

JJ bit his lip, then reached forward to point at one of the cups...only for the worker to slap his hand away. “I’m sorry sir, please don’t touch the cups. To prevent tamperin’, see? Just tell me.”

JJ looked a bit stunned at the worker’s aggressive tone. But he signed It’s under the left one.

“Excuse me?”

“He says it’s under the left one,” Marvin jumped in.

“...ah, I see.” The worker lifted up the cup to reveal the ball. “Seems you were right. Do you want to try again?”

The boys glanced uneasily between each other. The worker’s tone had dropped from the polite-carnival talk to one that was a bit...short. She was also talking much slower than she was before, drawing out the vowel sounds. “He can hear you perfectly fine,” Chase said. “He just can’t talk.”

“Mmm...I see...” The worker pursed her lips. “Do you want to try again?”

They all nodded. The worker was silent this time as she shuffled the cups, faster than before. When she stopped, she looked at Jackie. “Which one is the ball under?”

Jackie had a vague idea where, but he wasn’t sure. “JJ, do you know?”

The left one again, JJ signed, less enthusiastically.

“The left,” Jackie translated.

The worker frowned as she revealed the ball under the left cup. “You boys aren’t cheating, are you? Those weird gestures seem like symbols.”

Marvin laughed bitterly. “Yeah, they’re symbols alright. They stand for words. Do you not know how sign language fucking works? He’s telling us the answers ‘cause he’s the best one at it. Now let’s do this one more time.”

The worker shuffled the cups impossibly fast. Once more, she asked Jackie where the ball was. This time, he had no idea, and just looked at JJ. JJ, in turn, stiffened a bit, eyes hardening. It’s under the right one, though I wouldn’t put it past her to sneak it up her sleeve.

“Right,” all the boys said in unison.

The worker reluctantly lifted up the rightmost cup to show the ball sitting underneath. “Congratulations,” she said dully. “You win one of the big prizes. What color do you want?”

Turquoise, JJ signed. “Turquoise,” Jackie translated.

They walked away from the booth in silence. After a few moments of walking, Marvin said, “I could totally put a curse on her.”

“No,” Jackie said firmly.

“Just one little spell. She can lose her voice for a week.”

JJ shook his head, then tucked his prize under his arm so he could use his hands to sign. Revenge is never the best answer. 

“It’s what she deserves!” Marvin snarled. “She was making that difficult on purpose. I saw her, she was going much slower with the customers before us. JJ, I’m so absolutely sorry on her behalf, cause god knows she’s not gonna fucking apologize.”

It’s okay, JJ insisted. Believe it or not, I’ve faced worse, especially in my day. They were much less friendly back then.

“I am sure you are not using that word in the correct meaning,” Schneep mumbled.

Marvin shoved his hand into the pocket containing his wand. “One hex. Come on. Just one. I won’t even make her ears fall off or anything.”

Everyone refused to let Marvin curse the carnival worker, and he reluctantly relented. At this point, they’d finished with the games, and all that was left were the rides. They took turns, one or two of them sitting out to watch the accumulated prizes while the others spun and flew and then stumbled off the rides. After trying most of the rides out, they took a snack break for ice cream and cotton candy.

“I think the Ferris wheel is the only one left,” Jackie said. “Unless we want to catch that sideshow thing. There’s supposed to be magicians—”

“Fake,” Marvin interrupted.

“—clowns, animals, and they advertised a knife-thrower—”

Schneep nearly choked on his ice cream. “No.”

“Okay, got it. No show then.” Jackie nodded. “But I’m not too sure about the Ferris wheel. I know at least one of us is afraid of heights.”

“Yeah, uh, me.” Chase bit his lip. “But I think I’ll be fine if I don’t look over the edge. Unless someone else doesn’t want to go on it, then I’ll stay off with them.”

“I’m good,” Jackie said. “Schneep? Marv? Either of you scared of heights?” Both of them shook their heads. “Alright. JJ?”

JJ signed, A bit, but after all these dizzy rides, I’ll take something calm like the Ferris wheel, if you please.

“Alright. Guess we’re going on the wheel, then!”

Night had truly fallen by this point. The Ferris wheel wasn’t exceptionally tall, but it still rose above everything else in the fair, providing a fantastic view of the colored lights below. Instead of having the traditional two-person seats, this wheel had booths that could fit up to eight people, so all the boys fit into one just fine. The wheel turned, and the booth turned with it. Chase squirmed, resolutely not looking over the side. Jackie and Marvin did the exact opposite, practically leaning out of the booth to look down below.

JJ tapped Schneep, signing something real quick. Schneep nodded, then yelled “Can you two stop that?! You are going to fall out of the fucking side, and you are making Jamie nervous.”

“Oh, sorry.” Jackie sat back down.

“Aww,” Marvin groaned, but pulled back into his seat. “I hope you know I do this for you, JJ.”

JJ smiled. Thank you, it’s appreciated. And I’m sure your body feels the same way, having narrowly avoided a fall to great injury.

“Nah, I would’ve been fine.”

The wheel stopped. Their booth was right at the top. “Oh, fuck,” Chase muttered, covering his eyes with his hands.

“You know, you didn’t have to come,” Jackie said quietly. “We would’ve been alright letting you stay down on the ground.”

Chase peeked between his hands. “I know. But...it’s really nice up here. Quiet. And with just you guys. As long as I ignore the distance from the ground, I’m good. You’re my friends, you know, and you make everything better.”

“Oh, Chase,” Marvin gasped. “That’s...really sweet!”

“What? Didn’t think we where friends?”

“It’s...always nice to be reminded.” Marvin smiled softly.

Well then consider this your reminder, Marvin! JJ wiggled his mustache happily. I consider you all my friends, maybe even family. You are all wonderful people and I love having you in my life!

“Nooo, stop.” It was hard to see in the dark, only lit up by the lightbulbs on the Ferris wheel, but it was possible that Marvin was actually blushing.

“You know what? I love you guys.” Jackie grinned. “Not afraid to admit it! Best friends I’ve ever had.”

Schneep cleared his throat. “Yes, I feel the same. You are all great people, and I am fortunate to have met you. I...love you as well.”

“Aaaahck!” Marvin appeared to be trying to fold into himself. “Too much love! Fatality!”

Chase chuckled. “Marvin! Accept our love!”

We love you, Marvin! JJ signed eagerly. Now you have to say it back!

Marvin made a strange sort of groaning exhale before inhaling deeply, calming down. “Yeah...I—I love you guys too. God, I love you guys so much. You should all know that.”

“There we go!” Jackie said, triumphant. “Marvin, you are, truly, the emotionally constipated one. And I thought Schneep was the worst.”

“Excuse me?!” Schneep gasped. “I assure you I am very love-sharing. I just do not use words too much because they are complicated.”

“Understandable,” Chase shrugged. “I can barely speak half the time, and I was born in English.”

I thought you were born in Ireland, JJ signed, amused.

“Oh, you know what I mean!”

The Ferris wheel started lowering, stopping and starting as it let passengers off. The boys stepped out of the booth and onto land once again.

JJ yawned. I must say that I’m rather tired after all this. I think it’s time we go home.

“Yeah, I’m starting to feel it,” Jackie agreed.

“You all are weak!” Marvin countered. “I’m good for another couple hours.”

“Watch you crash immediately upon entering your room,” Chase laughed.

“Oh, shut up.”

“I think JJ is right,” Jackie said. “It’s time to go home.”

Schneep nodded. “Yes, I could stay up longer, but I have morning shift tomorrow so I should not push my luck. I will see you all later?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Course, dude!”

“Definitely.”

Count on it!

With that, they left the fair. Eventually they split up, each heading their own separate ways until they eventually got to wherever they were staying that night. Some went to sleep immediately, some stayed up a bit later, but eventually they all went to bed.

And when they decided to do it, none of them had trouble for once.

[somehatsukois]

I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS LOVE OR IF I WANT ANY PART OF IT

I’m not sure.

I haven’t met you.

It doesn’t seem like I’ll ever meet you. All these chances just seem to pass through. You’ve been leaving me on read and then texting me out of the blue.

Every time I try and get an answer out of you it’s so pointless. You’ll ignore me and then send me a photo lacking any purpose.

‘What Do You Mean?’ on loop the other day. I need to get back to those more upbeat tracks this isn’t nothing like ‘The Way’.

This can’t be love though, it can’t hurt like this. Van Halen tells me why not? Coz it just feels like a diss. You haven’t got time for me, it’s like you know that I’m so lonely. So cooped up in the four walls of my house and my job trying to get you to know me. And me you, you’re fascinating in all the wrong ways, mysteries better left unsolved in some dreary maze.

Coz that’s all this’ll be, I’m after something that moves me and decent’s what’s been passing. I see you, your familiar face and start asking, these questions about myself and these questions about you. Didn’t all my great loves start with this insecurity in them? Why not you too? I can gaslight myself to a tee, there was that girl back in December had me thinking we were meant to be. Just because we had the same interests and she knew what she was after. I accepted the first few red flags thinking I could avoid some kind of a disaster. It all came crashing down on date number three. I don’t wanna spend time under this shitty excuse for a Christmas tree, just to take some stupid insta photos for people to see. It’s not real, it’s fake and that territory has been tread before, we went and had an argument in the cocktail bar and I knew I wouldn’t want to see her anymore. Surrounded by happier couples, smiling, laughing looking they had no troubles. This only date number three and issues were already to form bubbles, on the surface of this half shallow fantasy. So we said goodbye there and you sailed right on out of my head. It’d been 3 weeks of you floating there every time I went to bed.

Back to you though, back to the reason for this thread.

That damn display image of you floating in the ocean, you’re swimming laps in my mind.

I haven’t even seen you in real life, that guy you dotakyanned doesn’t even know you, you’re right.

I don’t know a thing about you either, I keep grasping for something solid and you’re giving me nothing to hold onto no lifeline, no rope. There’s just these big gaps between our talking, me asking you out and you walking, away from the chat to just pop up 8 hours later, I’m clinging back onto hope.

I thought that’s it, then the day before I turned 29 you called me mid essay. I was writing something polite to tell you how I felt, how I didnt want it to get messy. I wanted out of from this thing that hadn’t even taken shape, I know me and my imagination, let me jump off the ride before it’s too late. Let me keep you romanticised and out of sight, out of mind. You can’t be the love I’m trying to find.

You’re bored and confusing, I’m lonely and confused. You’ll stop replying one day and I’ll end up feeling used… Up like my phone battery, 5 hours on the phone, a waste of my time and yours, I’ve been doing alright on my own. So I’m off with this shit and I’m off with you. I think about telling you this stuff straight but it’ll just pass right through.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 8 | ”Being a muppet is a contagious disease. ” - Ali

omg so?! i need to do a proper long confessional and go through my thoughts because i just got like a tsunami of information but... jake lived?! and idoled out scott who i thought was gonna win?! hello?!? i'm so so so excited because now i get to work with jake and he is SUCH a shield, and me/him/autumn are gonna ride off into the sunset im manifesting it.

what the HELL is going on here first jake pulls out an idol (which i was JUST gossipping with jordan pines about him having it because i know just how he plays and would ya look at that!) i was so ELATED to read he did that, thinking ok, i gave him a fair warning those false beauties we're gonna get us all, and they voted him unanimously so surely he'll take one of them out and ... HE TAKES OUT SCOTT?? i dont even have time to process this bafoonery yet because here i am, minding my business, trying to watch micronesia to heal the hole in my heart left by w*nners at w*r, eating a piece of pizza and then BOOM we merge?? but oh ok! they said we get a nice little break, lemme not stress and go back to eating my piz- NOPE THERE IS SO SUCH THING AS A BREAK IN SURVIVOR GORL I SWEAR I PUT MY PHONE DOWN TO GET ONE BITE, I COULDNT EVEN ENJOY MY EXTRA CHEESE BECAUSE MY TELEPHONE IS BLOWING UPPPP people are spilling tea left and right, i probably dont even have time to write this so i gotta keep it short and sweet; the false beautys are really trying to slide in my pms and sing kumbaya and if they wanna sing with me, bring it on because they are not a songstress like i am, ill riff run and harmonize yall right off this island. PERIOD. ive been REALLY trying to play up this card where im just some dumb bitch, let everyone keep thinking im the mayor of boo boo the foolsville, but i know a lot more than i let on so catch the tea on that

i swear for it being our "day off" this sure has been the most work i feel like ive had in a hot minute first of all fuck the tomb but FUCK this pyramid even more the second it was announced i found the extra link to the slide puzzle on the blog within SECONDS but 1) i suck at slide puzzles and 2) MY COMPUTER CRASHED HALF WAY THROUGH IT SO I HAD TO START AGAIN. literally took me 2 hours to finish, so that was embarrassing, then much like how the tomb had questions, this pyramid has a hashi puzzle to solve in EIGHT MINUTES....which i dont even know what the fuck that is sorry to this hashi man i gave a good effort but didnt get it in time, so im gonna try again tomorrow of course but im sure someone who isnt a dumbass had better luck than me and got it so thats that on that ....also gorl some of these people aka kendall really got the audacity, she messages me today and is like IS JAKEY COMING TO YOU SAYING STUFF ABOUT ME TRYING TO PIT US AGAINST EACH OTHER oh gorl, if only you knew its ME going to jakey saying shit about YOU trying to get him against YOU, because your first mistake was trying to prepare an alliance to vote me out, your second mistake was running around telling everyone i have an idol, and your third mistake was making an enemy of jakey, now there's this angry jakey on the loose and im gonna just try to work my magic to tame him and keep him like a pet dragon on my side to get them out and then deal with whether i think ill be able to trust him going foward, but again, i know i voted him out last game so i cant rule out him trying to target me already, especially if somehow worst case scenerio people try to pick us off first for knowing each other also had a call with augusto which was.... interesting, look, i genuinely like him as a person even though i still feel some type of way about him turning fake on me, so i definitely want to maintain a friendship with him even if it's hard for me to just stomach talking to him because of how stupid he must think i am, keep your friends close but your frenemys closer!! then i just had a call with devon too which was also interesting because, i do like him as a person, but idk how to feel about it!!! after all of them lying to me in the beginning im already feeling PTSD and dont know if i can trust anyone, but he gave me some valuable information even more so just reaffirming them all thinking i have the idol which i know is a crock of bs because DAMMIT IVE TRIED I JUST DONT HAVE IT. I know amir has it, it's so obvious to me, maybe augusto?? but i think amir. apparently devon also just kinda said he think he could see the first vote coming down to me or jakey or even him which.......makes me really nervous, i wasnt planning on fighting for immunity at the auction i wouldve rather had an advantage of some sort, but i think with this cast, and the amount of intertwined relationships going into this first tribal, i want that immunity necklace and im gonna do my damndest to get it OKAYYY this game is going to drive me insane, i feel like ive been running my mouth TOO much and talking to too many people and am gonna get voted out for it but i also simultaneously feel like i havent talked to people no where near enough and, am gonna be voted out for it so ???buckle the fuck up ladies we've officially boarded the confusion express so im just gonna try and sit back and enjoy the ride ig

Welp we are on the bottom... shit. I'm going to be honest, this week has not been great for me. Like my real life is slowly going to shit and now my fake life has been screwed. Thanks Jakey... you dick. All is not lost, because out there in the distance is the iconic duo of Jordan Pines and Kendall Duffy AKA Sarah and Woo. You know, Sarah and Woo. That iconic duo in Cagayan. Remember that one time Sarah walked up to Woo and said "Sup I'm Sarah," and he nodded and said "Woo". And that other time they were sitting on the same log laughing at something Tony said? That is stuff of legends man. Okay so genuinely Jordan meant to say Tony and Woo but he accidentally said Sarah and Woo and now this is our legacy. The plan is to play it both ways. As this isn't going to be a simple Pangonging. Obviously a beauty is going to leave but before we all go, they are going to try to get rid of some of the brawns. The goal is that the beauty isn't me and the brawn isn't Jordan. I know you're legally not supposed to trust Jordan Pines but it's never really been the case for me? IDK maybe it's cause he always gets sniped before I betray him. Maybe it's cause the one time he voted me out it was cause I committed suicide by cop. But for the most part he's a realible ally. Also this would be a shitty and stupid lie right? Like he knows I don't have an idol, literally everyone knows that! Trying to get in my good graces is a terrible fucking idea, Jesus. Right now I'm just going to market myself and the others as a free vote. I know it's not realistic to get Augusto and Amir to the finals but it's all I really want. We've been through shit together. I don't want to be put in a position to get them out. I also believe that either Jakey and Ali has the idol. So this round I'm going to flush it. I'm not going to be able to get him out, I just need him to believe he's going to be voted out. He's a very paranoid individual, it shouldn't be too difficult.... I am not going home tonight. I refuse to. 

okay so i haven't done a good typed confessional in a WHILE and i have thoughts. so i'm basically really frustrated with a lot of this tribe and i don't know how to vocalise it. but first the positives.. the fact that i have an alliance of me/autumn/jake brings me such a rush of seretonin, i love them both and i will fight my hardest to get the three of us to the endgame of this game. i think rn my goal final five is me/jake/autumn/adam/devon, adam because i dont think he is playing this game as well as he necessarily thinks he is, but i also think we have trust and he is someone who is scoop-up-able? and then devon i get good energy from him and his straightforward energy i'd like to see in the endgame. the rest however.... whew. well actually Liam is fine, he is sweet and doing his best. of the rest tho... hmm. kendall's energy doesn't quite land with me, her dry sense of humour doesn't really work with me ha so i feel like we are gonna struggle to gel as allies (especially since we are either side of the weird brawn/beauty divide). augusto is very chatty but its a lot of chatting for... the sake of it, like his social game is to just overwhelm you with lots of messages but its nothing of substance. amir i actually like!! he has me-energy, i would actually like him to stick around (he is a good shield too). duncan i am still sus about from premerge, but i'd love to mend that bond because i might need duncan?! tj and jordan both give snake energy... tj is suddenly back to being non-commital with me and it frustrates me, i wish he would like... talk to me KJLSADF. jordan is the same i always get weird energy from him and he was in that weird alliance during the swap and didn't tell me... feel a f10 boot for jordan ideally. honestly its just frustrating i feel like everyone on this tribe is so cagey and like just thinks talking a lot is social game?! and its... not. but yeah ideally first four merge boots: kendall, augusto, tj & jordan (tho the last two is open to consideration if they stop being shady to me KJSDFA).

I just got immunity in the auction and I feel like I wasted a chance to get some long term for my game. Because I wasn't going anywhere this round (I don't think), but like at least it prevented some other people from getting it which allows me some room to make a couple moves without too many repercussions. In terms of social standing, I truly think I have put myself in a good spot. Jakey and Jordan have both said they want me to be their number ones; Devon also has said the same and has told me that he holds the Double Vote. I know that Autumn and Duncan are both willing to work with me in our alliance with Jordan. Liam and I have bonded quite a bit. And I get good vibes from Augusto, Kendall, and Adam. So the big question now is, my target at the moment is Amir... how do I get him out? I need to break up Amir, Augusto, and Kendall so that I have a better chance of working with Augusto specifically down the line and hopefully Kendall as well. I have a feeling that Adam will push for one of the trio and the trio will push for Adam or Jakey, which should give me plenty of ammo to try and make that move. Correction to my last confessional... the trio can't target Jakey because he's immune. Suck it!

i really... really just got my second idol huh... i cant believe it. i bodied that idol hunt, i sat their trying like six hundred combos for the morse code, got that demonic tile and did that evil hashi puzzle... im so happy hehe okay so ignore my super jaded confessional from yesterday im back in again akdjfsaf im literally on a reign of terror doing harsh confessionals then apologising but askdjfafa we move. so yesterday was a real busy day, we had the auction, i called lots of people and... i got myself a little bit of bling. with the auction first, it was really interesting. i misunderstood the "idol block" so i snatched it up, but then it just blocks hunting for the idol versus playing one, but for my mental health am glad i have that. i also got the vote revealer, which was like a mid-tier thing that im happy to have just got a second thing tbh. then i had like six hundred calls kaljsdfas. i called with devon first, he is really sweet and we had a great talk tbh? i really like him and hope we stick together. i did then go on to have very similar conversations to the one i had with him, with augusto and amir, but i felt best about the conversation me and devon had tbh. augusto is sweet, and very social. like i'd prefer to vote him to kendall, but i like him ha and feel like we have a bond now. i think i could be a good number moving forwards (i wouldn't want him gone 11th/10th). amir is also very nice, we are calling tomorrow, and i just dont think targetting amir is in my best interest rn? like what's the end goal in doing that. so then right now. i think i want the merge vote to be kendall? i feel like if we let that trio slide, its scary, and i have a closer connection to amir and augusto of the three. i think then the brawn tribe can turn inwards, but im eager to push the brawn tribe like "implosion" until after that trio is taken apart (to the style of splitting up alex c/jones/mo from montenegro) also otherwise i got an IDOLLL, or rather my second hehe. i put in a LOT of work to get it, i translated morse code, i did a demonic hashi puzzle, i got the 2048 tile. i earned this idol and im very proud. now i have two idols so have such wiggle room. and i'm building bonds across the tribe... im not saying im set, but... im covered for the time being

okay so im a clown and got frustrated with jordan for telling jake he was hesitant to keep me in... jordan just told me he has been downplaying our connection to people like jake KJLSDAFA so i fully just bought into nothing.

i am starting to feel my standing in the game rise, like im building bonds... everywhere. like im starting to become set to go the distance because i have lots of lowkey social bonds and because im not overtly super strategic i dont think i seem as threatening.

okay so ideal merge bootlist: f4: me/autumn/jake/devon, adam (5th), liam/jordan (6th/7th), amir (8th), duncan (9th), augusto (10th), tj (11th), kendall (12th) and then at the moment the order i would vote for people as a juror (bringing this back from montenegro): jake > autumn > amir > jordan > duncan(?) > devon > augusto > adam > tj > kendall > liam because i think jake has already idoled someone, and to make it to f3 after that is super impressive. autumn is a queen, has real strategic savvy and will have made moves to get to the end. amir is very much like autumn and him making it to the end. jordan is an amazing player and tbh deserves a win. duncan is really in game-mode and id love to see him in FTC (what a role reversal), devon has a real rootable underdog story, augusto is a social king, adam needs to pick it up beyond just targetting beauties to get my vote. tj/kendall are question marks for me, and then liam i LOVE but he doesn't necessarily 100% want to be here so i would be tentative to vote him. but its crazy because i think: jake/autumn/devon/adam/liam/jordan/amir/duncan... all trust me to some extent that's... such a large portion of the tribe. so i need to be careful im not scorning people too much, but this is a real work-able situation i think ahh

Interesting development that both Kendall and Amir want/wanted to call and talk to me. I just finished talking to Kendall (she is so sweet, I enjoy talking to her!) and I definitely see an avenue where we work together, but I am concerned that there does seem to be a guard up, which I totally understand given that we haven't been on a tribe together. We both kind of mentioned that Liam has been flirting with the idea of asking to be voted out which gave me an avenue to not say that the name I would throw out is Amir. I do hope that Liam isn't adamant about going because I truly do care for him and want him to stay in this game. I picked up a great ally in him after the initial Brawn vote and losing him now won't be fun. It does dispel this Brawn alliance people probably expect to be happening, but am I at ease with Liam going to facilitate that? But if that happens, that delays the fight between Adam/Jakey against the trio of Augusto/Amir/Kendall, which in fact would be good for me as it allows me to slide by for another week... ugh, decisions decisions. Why do I feel like this first vote could determine the rest of my game?

So Liam still wants to be in the game, which is good. I can easily work with that. Yes, I feel awful telling Kendall I thought the vote would be Liam, but now that he seems to want to be in the game, I think I can work with Liam possibly staying. I still have to wait it out and listen to what some others think, but I may be back on the board of going for one of the trio. I know Jakey wants to do Kendall, but I don't want her to go just yet. Eventually, yeah probably, but I do want her here.

Whew merge merge merge. Tonight is the first night to play my legacy advantage, i could block a vote but honestly im probably not going to. Id be pretty caught off guard if i was the target tonight and I think id rather let it fester to an idol, whether for me or someone else later tha depends on my game play. Last night was the auction and boy did jordan win big, i got a whole vote steal that im pretty sure no one knows about. I created a believable (i think) lie about what i bid on and spread and thankfully adam came out the gate with a super fact checkable lie about the auction so i think most of the heats on him. For the vote it could be a beauty butpart of me really sees liam going home just cause people are so scared of how many brawn are in the game, and like thats fine i can deal with that. I am slowly building my relationships to the point where i can get the ball rolling enough to do some damage. Ive been biding my time in the shadows for most of this game, but Jordan Pines is about to rise!

this round is what we call a mixed bag like the auction? hated that girl. I saved my money and all I got was a drawing like sis this is the Survivor Auction not an actual auction ;-; but other than that, I’ve felt really good about how I’ve been playing? Like always, I’m trying to be the Belle of the Ball and have everyone want me as a date yknow? Currently, I have my main allies (Amir, Kendall, Devon) but others (Autumn, Duncan, Ali, Jordan, Jakey) have expressed that they want to work with me which is cute! I don’t know who to trust tho ngl but yay? My main priority is getting my footing in the game this first round and hopefully getting out a Brawn. The main two I want gone from the Brawns are Liam M and Jordan Pines. Liam M is the easier sell and I don’t mind that, Jordan Pines is someone I want gone soon though. I also want Adam gone if at all possible sometime soon but we shall see! 

i take it back jordan and duncan can go again...? literally like both of them preach up and down that we are gonna work together, then pull shady stuff like saying me and adam are a duo in their alliance chat of gremlins with love of my life autumn and professional robot tj?! literally just because y'all linked up at swap and think you are gods gift to alliances doesnt mean me and adam are a duo? i just talk to him and actually give him a chance in this game unlike like... 99% of this cast. now i cant really defend adam at all or people are gonna try and snap my neck? which sucks... adam was in my endgame but because i see him having a losing finalist arc versus me being a duo with him. so that sucks but well. it just reconfirms to me that i have to trust autumn. which is not hard because i literally love her sm and i want to see thrive in this season. so i am praying it works out. this cast continues to prove that being a muppet is a contagious disease.

im absolutely LIVID right now.... i dont even know where to begin ?? let's start with this: are we playing SURVIVOR or are we playing america's next top CLOWN?? because based on how silly all these people are it doesnt seem like survivor. this is my 3rd time playing this game, and never once have i ever made it to a merge where .... every single person wants to just settle on one name since they're the "easy" vote.... and yet that's all im being told with people wanting to vote liam?? at this point i hope the plan is to vote ME out and everyone is just telling me liam because i dont want to play the game with a bunch of feeble minded school of fish who have no backbone. first of all everyone has wanted to do nothing but play that ANNOYING ass "ooh its been quiet i havent heard a name yet" game for the entire day. We're 3 hours before tribal and all the sudden everyone wants to sing kumbaya and vote for liam??? because he's not around, which guess what it does make him an easy vote but....this is survivor why would you EVER vote that person off in the merge right away, he can literally go next or any other time. I refuse to sit back and just conform to it, ill probably end up having to, but im gonna try to push what to ME makes the most sense, not only for myself but for everyone... to get one of those 3 false beautys out. I've been going to a lot of people and basically saying "Let me break it down for you: one of them 150% has the idol??? and thanks to the suvivor auction, and based on what ive gathered from people they probably have advantages too.....why waste this vote being "easy" because then next round....they're gonna know it'll be one of them and so......they're gonna play all their shit and take someone out, and i absolutely reserve the right to laugh at whoever it is because theyre an idiot and didnt want to wake up and play the game (unless it's me of course oop) I've approached, jakey, autumn, duncan, jordan, ali, devon, tj, pretty much ANYONE who has a brain to just state the obvious.....its stupid getting liam out. literally the stupidest and quite frankly downright embarrassing move to make for a group of players of this caliber. and you know what responses ive gotten? "oh its too soon to rock the boat" "we have to get one of those brawns out" "yeah we just have to go with the brains on this one" ??? too soon??? at merge??????? to play the game of survivor??????????? at this point im about to try and just tell liam with the very slim chance that he has an idol and can use it on himself because how am i supposed to try and play the game of survivor with people who dont want to play its frustrating. **update as i was writing this i just had a call with jordan pines, im not as mad anymore after smoking weed with him for like 20 minutes ahfdd but its BORING LIKE WAKE UP PEARL LETS PLAY SURVIVOR...i probably made a big mistake pushing those 3 to as many people as i just did but whatever hopefully it at least planted seeds with people and people actually try and approach me in the future rounds with that idea again in other news, the auction happened and i got the power to go to the prejuror island and plead my case with them regarding this next vote, no one was even there so that was lovely i felt like i was talking to myself so nothing new there, i peeped connor was online but didnt have anything to say when i showed up, much like how he never had anything good to say in the game and that's why he was voted out, but ANYWAY. im pissed i made a case to them to vote for amir and now no one will even make the move with me. I also bought a challenge advantage which i wanted MOSTLY so i could just tell people thats what i got from it because to me i suck at challenges anyway, so it shouldnt paint as much of a target on my back and i want people to know i dont have one of those really scary ones (and i also want to keep making people think amir or kendall has something good), but ali did confide in me he has the vote reveal which made me trust him a lot more, and i dont plan on revealing to anyone what he told me so anywho, tribal is NOT gonna go my way tonight, i tried to make a move but liam is unfortunately completely unsaveable because he's not around even though i do like talking to him personally, i opened the door to people and it just got slammed in my face but in this game you have to learn when to drop it so im hoping i dropped it fast enough to not be a future target because people could still very well vote me out next because they'd be taking out the only real beauty left!

tj, jordan and duncan are all going home as soon as possible. they really think they are slick and they are not. they think they can badmouth me, my game and my position and it wont get back to me. there is a word for it and it is clownery. one of them is going to get to stepping really soon. maybe jordan.

also i cant be too mad at liam because im voting him but i wish it wasnt like this. well. what can you do. if he plays an idol im playing mine.

Now that we're told the right day... Well, it looks like most people are back on the Liam Train, and damn I really don't want this move to be made. Like, yes, it will set me up well moving forward: less "Brawn Alliance" hype, more battles between Adam/Ali vs. Beauty Babes, and a decent amount of social mobility for me. But this just feels like a giant waste and I don't know how to stop this at this rate.

First of all: YAASSSSSSSS WE LOVE MAKING THE MERGE!!!! I’ve gotten over my Scott grief and actually am pretty content with him out of the game since he was a big contender to win it all. The time I’ve been able to spend talking to people has been amazing and I feel like I genuinely have a good relationship with everyone on the tribe besides Liam, which is why I’m happy to see him go. He’s a really nice guy but he’s not adding anything to my game. I expect the vote to go 11-1-1 tonight. I could always get idoled out or blindsided and that would suck but you try your best and do what you can! I think I have EXCELLENT relationships with Amir, Jordan and Autumn and that’s like the kingpins of each group so if someone comes after me hopefully I’ll hear about it one way or another. I need to get my head out of Amir’s ass though, I’m most excited to play with him and we called for literally 2 hours and 50 minutes yesterday. I’ve always thought he was cute and intelligent from when I was in the community before and I fangirled getting to play with him. I like to think I’m in a good position in this game so far, we’ll see as the game progresses. One last thing? ADAM!? SIS?!?! EVERYONE IS AWARE YOU LIED TO THEM! YOUR ASS IS GOING HOME NEXT! PERIODT!! (Hopefully I’ll be here to help vote you out lol

Well, here we are? This is where my game was MADE back in Guyana, however, I clearly don't have a solidified alliance I am willing to take to the end at this stage. We have 5 Brawns, three former winners, a person I voted out in Guyana, two people that voted me out, and a person I tried voting out last round all still in the game. Still, I am going to make the best of it. In the short period of time this game has provided, I have been able to make REALLY solid connections. Not all of them are 100% genuine, but the hope is that they're enough to gain trust and information that I can use to advance my game. 

if i go home tonight im gonna lose my marbles

so basicallyyyy jakey is gathering intel from the other sideand apparently theyre all scared of me, grow up??? im literally harmless wtf

HOHOHOHOOGO WHO WANTS SOME TEA ? SO DUNCAN SPILLED THAT back long ago on original hathor, remember when I was losing my mind thinking aj ratted everything to Adam It was THE TRUTH and I’m glad aj has been dealt with. It’s what he deserves .

adam thinks hes so fucking slick running around telling everyone i gotta go and that i have the idol, and then messaging me in my pms trying to call and have a "tea-spilll uwu" when hes just going to use that against me anywayyyy honey u arent as smart as u think u are, and when the time is right, you're getting crucified ADAM CAME TO ME TO BE LIKE "FUCK JAKEY WON IMMUNITY" and im like "ik :( " and he runs to jakey and goes "THE RATS ARE MAD U WON" mark my words if im leaving this game i will blow him tf up on the way out

these people are all rats ALLIANCE: Threats R Us members: jakey ali autumn Source: jakey ALLIANCE: (name unknown) Members: Autumn Duncan TJ Jordan Source: Autumn so autumn ratted on an alliance to me and not the other, which lets me know that she is far more invested in Ali that she is in Duncan. Working with Duncan is not going to save face with autumn, i have to treat her as a separate entity and work with her genuinely if i want safety from ali, like she sold duncan tj and jordan down a river to me so fast i love her so much, i want to work with her but i have to see how far it goes people i want out : adam tj liam ali jordan but rn ill settle for anyone but me cuz no one is talking to me

devon wanted to talk real quick and tellin me that there was a whole ass plan started by adam to get me out, like say the vote is kendall but actually vote for me, and the plan was entertained by brawn, also i told jakey i have the idol, and jakey told me ali has 2 idols a vote reveal and an idol block

[docmurph12]

Ok. So two parter on CATS coming up. POSSIBLY a three parter depending on how long it takes to get through background. Here we go......

So my first request review comes from my good friend. I'm not sure how this is going to go, because I'm going whole hog on this one, again in the interest of pure objectivity.

My understanding of CATS is this. It was a Broadway musical based very loosely on T.S. Eliot's "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats". My friends in and fans of the theater community have told me there isnt really an intended overriding plot. The Wikipedia page I found begs to differ, but they insisted it really is just a collection of vignettes, told through the perspective of a cat. Simple enough? I believe so. Now, I also understand this stage musical to have been adapted a number of times, largely for Broadway and for specific actors and actresses, with the noted exception of the film CATS (2019). Yes that one. Yes I intend to watch it. On purpose. But wait there is more. The 2019 film was trashed nearly universally but everyone before they finished the trailer and after the film was released and viewed. Most people said the performances were fine but visually it was recieved as, to put it simply, fucking wierd. I saw one review that said it was released unfinished, with a CD character model floating into the middle of a scene out of context and with no animation, a mess with texture rendering (apparently Ian McKellan has a scene where his fur just doesn't show. Like the texture is flat. Like it looks like it was published on a floppy disk alongside the original Doom). Not to mention the myriad questions that seem to come up in conversation about the character design choices as a whole. Jesus, how bad is this thing??

My resources tell me a BUNCH of super important contextual things about this one, most important of them being that this is SUPER META Broadway at it's best. Like this is the most Broadway that has ever Broadway'ed. This could be a good thing (one of my favorite musical pieces is fucking everything from Les Miserables), or it could be a bad thing (anyone that knows me knows that with notable exceptions I am NOT a big fan of musicals AT ALL, which is strange for me given my proclivity for weirdness, good storytelling, and music). This is going to be fun for everyone I think so strap in folks. This is going to be a wierd ride through furry land with a guy that wants nothing to do with it, lol. (SCORE, looking like 2 parts)

First I'll be looking at CATS (2019), because I am a glutton for punishment, and my wife says that the best way to get through this is to chew through the shit sandwich first, and then to get through the good stuff, so the good stuff is what sticks. I'm not sure I am going to enjoy either part, but I am open to it so here we go. I'll try to keep my writing as live as possible, per usual.

RIGHT AWAY, as I'm completing the Amazon rental purchase, this cast is fucking loaded. Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson. Judi Dench, Jason Derulo (wait, he acts too? Maybe his part is the worst part in this, I hate his music worse than I dislike Taylor Swift), Idris Elba, Ian McKellan, Rebel Wilson, and more. And that doesnt even include any love for people I am not familiar with that might carry some star power over from Broadway. So this thing is loaded for bear with acting heavies. That said, I really don't understand the comic appeal of Rebel Wilson. I don't think she is funny. You already lost me with Taylor Swift and Jason Derulo. All that said, this cast roster looks expensive.

Ok I am a minute and 47 seconds in and my first thought already is what the hell am I listening to? If this was originally put together in the 80s, and its either loved (ironically I guess?)or reviled, why would you stick with the same musical choices as instrumentation is concerned? I'm guessing I am going to have more on this later.

So completely inconsequential to the actual review the word jellicle as it relates to cats is totally ruined thanks to my learning of a word not in may people's vocabularies. Farticles. Thanks to my cousins for that one.

Alright, so full disclosure. I am not a fan of Rebel Wilson. I enjoy aspects of characters she plays, and she can be funny at times, but when your whole act revolves around one aspect of you (in her case it is that she is a large woman. Seriously its like every joke in all 3 Pitch Perfect movies) it says a lot about your ability to tell a story or joke. That said, it is so nice to not hear Rebel Wilson tell fat jokes. She is genuinely talented. It's hard to watch her in this cat suit (? Cat body? Cat war crime? More later), but it's interesting to see someone explore another side of their craft.

The sound design is...off. I'm not sure how else to describe it. You can LOUDLY hear body parts hitting set pieces. Footfalls, people jumping and grabbing on things. Like seriously you can hear it over the music. It sounds like someone got lazy in the mixing room, or they were trying to make it feel more like a stage production. News Flash. It doesn't make it feel like a stage production. It makes it feel like nobody in the production staff cared as much as the actors. I am beginning to suspect that ALL the money on this movie was spent on casting. And concept art.

I am genuinely confused by the choice to have only a couple cats wear clothes, and when they remove them, their fur looks exactly like the clothes they removed. I'm finding myself looking at things they did that wasted money. Money that could have been spent anywhere else to improve this thing.

All things considered, I could watch Idris Elba play the title character in Jaws, and enjoy it.

I'm pretty impressed by the entire cast's commitment to everything they picked up from their movement coaching. It is obvious that they were trying to incorporate a lot of typical feline movement and habitual aspects, even going so far as utilizing ballet movements for some of the dancing (probably because it is more "feline", to use the word again.) Nobody has really slipped yet. It's pretty impressive.

I think the thing that has me most surprised throughout is that this thing has the ability to elevate some (Rebel Wilson, Jason Derulo, Francesca Hayward, Jennifer Hudson, the VFX artists) and drag others through the dirt, (Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, Idris Elba, the VFX artist team), most times in the same scene. It's crazy how on one hand someone truly can astound you with their performance, blow you away with a wonderful rendition of a song some people know well, and on the other hand you see wonderful, well established actors really putting their asses into a performance that has no way of doing them service because there isn't anything there. For comparison, look at Ben Kingsley in Ghandi, or Lucky Number Slevin, versus his performance in Bloodrayne. It's really hard to watch these respected thespians work their asses off for something that won't ultimately pay off for them because it doesn't have the capability to.

Ok so halfway verdict here:

This was a fucking mess. Now I didnt see the original theatrical release, so I have no idea how truly barrel bottom things got here. I CAN say, that I can see the bones of what this is supposed to be buried in the mess of cat shit (see what I did there????).

The concept of the costuming is essentially what I imagine it is for the stage show, but seeing it in it's execution is.....disturbing. The movement coaching was pretty solid and worked well with the dance choreography, but in combination with the actual character design there is an implied sexuality in the feline-ness that makes you uncomfortable, but not in the thought provoking way, just in the "forced to look at naked people covered in cat fur for an hour and a half" kind of way. Like I was even kind of into Idris Elba's performance of Macavity, until he took off the hat and trench coat and now I'm just watching a naked Idris, but with cat ears and a tail. To be honest seeing this throughout the film really took you out of the immersive aspects of it. Not to mention that while lighting was ok, the actual character models pasted on the motion capture actors moved strangely, sometimes the faces were disjointed with the heads, sometimes textures looked unfinished (not as bad as I thought it would be but I know people that could do better than that on their computers at home.) Just a jarring experience visually overall.

The score was ugly and dated too. Or maybe not the score, so much as the instrumentation. Sound design was atrocious throughout, it seemed like the intent was to make it feel more like a stage production, but if that's the case, why go the route they did in terms of set design and all that? Being able to hear hollow flooring under heavy footfall, or people loudly slamming hands into bars they need to grab to catch themselves, or the piss poor choice in instrumentation, the whole thing feels like B roll for the DVD extras. You know what actually did great in updating the music for a more immersive experience? Aladdin. Check my first review out for more on that one.

So halfway verdict? I say a rough D. I dont see myself going back for this one, but I'm not unable to see the appeal. I just am sort of anticipating the 1998 Broadway production (part 2 of this review) so I can see what this is really SUPPOSED to be. Watch for part 2, coming later!

[swampgallows]

something inside me has been killing me for years and i can’t pinpoint what it is and i don’t know how to make it stop.

i guess i could have been working all of this time. i’ve wasted a lot of time since i stopped working. i told my parents i was going to be working on my writing and my art and my DJing and i have barely done any of that. i havent been able to write my next chapter for months. nothing has come to me. and the story is a stupid fanfiction so it’s not really worth anything, it’s not like i’m working on the next great american novel or whatever. i havent finished the illustrations i wanted to do for my zine so i haven’t released that yet either. im barely scraping by on gift art. it took me 5 months to order the lathe cut for myself but i did finally do -that-. and im barely on the second section of coding. everything feels so difficult and i can’t focus on a single thing at a time. i’ve been trying to figure my life out but all of my avenues seem empty.

last night i thought if i could pretend to be someone else that wanted to take care of me, i would be able to take care of myself. after an entire day of not eating, around 1am i guess i finally got something to eat. i’d had “drinkable yogurt” earlier but this was actually semi-solid food i was making. soup and grilled cheese. i spent enough time outside with the dog that i got a little chilled and figured i’d have that. nothing sounded appetizing. as i was sitting outside with xena i kept seeing things move and flash in the night and froze up with terror. they werent real, of course, but i saw them anyway. little spirit beasts flitting through the darkness.

i’ve been trying to keep my head above water. part of me knows that i really wouldnt be able to have kept working. i would have snapped at somebody or been Too Ill. i would have shown too much, the non-professional me. there is no professional me. i feel like no matter how hard i’d try, even if i wanted to, i would always be tangentially askew from the pulsing Thing to which everyone else is tied. i cannot ever be part of this Thing that everyone else is part of. I dont think it’s the kind of thing that dropping E and suddenly feeling the Unity or whatever will solve. i dont think a rush of endorphins will make me feel like i belong to society. i feel like i am a liminal entity and i have to exist in an in-between state or i will cease to exist at all. i dont fully know what i mean by that except that i feel like i must always be on my way somewhere. i would rush out of work and class and anywhere else, i walk anywhere i can and listen to music and check out mentally and physically from everything else. i live in my head where it is safe, and that is not safe. the internet is almost like a real version of this; existing as a liminal, safe, curated Self, a self away from the self, a place detached from my body and lifestyle and anything else. its a great equalizer where everybody has a say no matter where or who they are. 

i have written for over ten years now that i want to run away. i suppose i want to run away from myself but i’m not sure how true that is anymore. i dont know where i want to go. i have no destinations. just “away”.  i’ve been wanting to go to rotterdam for half of my life. i had always wanted to travel, of course, but there was never anything i wanted to actually do or see except to one day go to the netherlands and go to a nightmare in rotterdam or something like that, and now it’s finally happening. and it’s bigger than Nightmare, it’s THUNDERDOME. i never thought i would have the chance to go to a Thunderdome party in my lifetime but i’m alive and it’s happening and it’s like i cant even envision what i want to do or anything. i just want to get there, and be there, and exist in a place that isn’t here, and look at clouds, and smell different air, and see different buildings, and then dance my balls off all night to some really, really, really great music. this should feel like my wedding day but instead i just feel ...hard. i feel like i dont deserve it, or like it’s not actually going to happen, or like i will just ruin everything, or that somebody else will. 

nate was talking to me about all of these self-started self-accomplished people he’s been hanging out with and how he feels so pressured by their sheer level of success. he is also self-made and successful but feels like he’s supposed to be even more so. i dont know if i want success. i dont have anything to succeed at. 

my friend, who is an older friend but i had to keep at arm’s length a while, has come back into my life recently to help me with coding. granted, he’s drunk 99% of the time he talks to me, but he’s at least trying to encourage me to stick with it. he always wants to voice chat with me but i usually dont have the energy, or i’m doing something else. he keeps telling me about all the success i could have—”it's a journey but it's well worth it, and it's just a topic that you'll never exhaust as long as you live, which is true of the best topics worthy of devoting time to, and you're super smart, you'll have no issue with this -- just keep it up over a couple of years, just chipping away at it, and the career that's ahead of you could be so interesting”—and i feel like i just... don’t care. about any of it. about anything. sure i’d like to make/have a lot of money, i guess, just to keep my comforts. but then what? im living with my parents who i know actually do care about me, but don’t seem to, or just “support” me. 

when i finally got up the courage? stamina? delusion? to pretend to be someone else and grill me a cheese, i was feeling a little okay. i was feeling proud that i took initiative to at least fucking feed myself, since i barely seem capable of doing that. i was keeping up steam until i heard my mom crying from another room, “Where’s my baby girl? is that my baby?” and i knew she wasnt talking about the dog, and my heart dropped through my chest and i just wanted to die. “What do you want?” i snipped, trying to answer her but unable to hide my contempt apparently. “I just wanted to see you” or some such shit, i dont even remember what she said. “can i help with anything?” no “may i hug you?” (at least she asked) i don’t want to be hugged right now. “okay. im sorry you’re so unha--that youre not feeling good--- i hope you feel better...” and she hobbled away.

it was like 130 in the morning and i was standing over “45 calorie” wheat bread that had been thawed. my illusion of being someone that i was not—someone who gave a shit about me—was broken, and i felt like a fucking idiot, and i felt caught in the act of pretending, and i felt embarrassed, and i felt like... how dare i try to be something im not. how dare i imagine for even a fucking moment that im not genetically and financially and whatever the fuck else chained to this fucking family and all of my inherited neuroses and everything else. that she made an appearance specifically to disrupt whatever the fuck it was i was doing. because she had offered to cook me a thousand things and i didnt want any of them, and i didnt want her to take care of me, because im never going to be able to take care of myself, and when i finally took a course of action to actually try to feed myself my mom couldnt STAND it, apparently, and had to, still, offer to “help” when im MICROWAVING A CAN OF SOUP AND PUTTING BREAD ON A PAN. how could she HELP? she couldnt. she just had to fucking make her presence there because god forbid i do a single fucking thing on my own. i’m... 27 years old... for christ’s sake... i dont need “supervision” to toast some kraft singles onto bread... and if i did, i would ask.

or maybe i wouldnt. im not good at asking for help. even when i know i need it. i dont like owing people things or asking for favors. it just proves how worthless i am and that im dependent on other people and cant do anything by myself and that anything i do by myself fucks up. at least if i fuck up whatever it is i’m doing i wont have to drag anybody else into it. 

so i finally ate and after a few hours of cramps and being unable to even eat without feeling like i was gonna throw up, i spent like an hour in the bathroom regardless, immediately purging whatever it was i dared to eat. 

i dont know how to get better. part of me is afraid of getting better. if i have a good thing it will just be ruined. all i do is hold people back and im tired of getting in people’s way. im tired of making a bunch of wrong decisions and then half the time not even being able to own them. im tired of feeling like life is just happening to me and knowing that i dont have control over anything.

[tripstations]

5 beautiful destinations Pakistanis can travel to on a budget

From island escape­s, Easter­n Europe­an marvel­s and South-East Asian deligh­ts, inspir­e your inner wander­lust on a budget­

PHOTO: INSTAGRAM/GIRL WITH THE GREEN PASSPORT/ESLIMAH/AYESHA OMAR

KARACHI: The global travel industry is growing and it’s growing fast. Not only that, more people are travelling now than ever before, thanks to cheaper flights and the ease of planning and booking a trip.

Add to this the new batch of travel bloggers on Instagram and you’ve got hundreds of people jetting off to places they had never heard of before. After all, it’s a most human thing to explore new horizons.

And statistics don’t lie. The travel and tourism sector grew more in 2018 than all other economic sectors, adding a record $8.8 trillion to the world’s combined Gross Domestic Product – up from $8.3 trillion in 2017. It created some 319 million new jobs as well, according to Forbes.

While Pakistan is expected get higher numbers of tourists thanks to the government’s support, what about Pakistanis wanting to go abroad? Everyone is surely feeling the rupee’s present standing against the dollar and this can make travel for Pakistanis at home very expensive.

But don’t worry, we have you covered. Here are our recommendations for some pretty lust-worthy destinations across the globe that will allow you to indulge your wanderlust without draining your pockets. Bon voyage!

Istanbul, the transcontinental escape

Turkey really offers the best of both worlds. Straddling Europe and Asia, its capital Istanbul is hailed as one of the greatest cities in the world with lots of history, heritage, culture and beauty to offer. Not to mention, the Turkish and Pakistanis love each other!

A single entry visa will cost you around Rs8,500 and flight tickets will be roughly Rs80,000 return during peak holiday seasons. Decent 3-star hotels are abundant, right next to the exquisite Sultan Ahmet Mosque. And then, there is the AirBnB option.

Best places to go: Grand Bazaar, Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque, Topkapi Palace, Dolmabahce Palace, Taksim Square…need we go on?

Maldives – the water wonderland 

This island nation is the picture of paradise. Think bungalows hovering over turquoise waters, golden beaches and lots of scuba diving. Oh, and seriously Insta-worthy sunsets! How could you not want to travel to the Maldives?

The best thing is that this dream can be a reality because it’s surprisingly reasonable and also Muslim-friendly.

Located in the Arabian Sea, the capital Malé has a busy fish market, restaurants and shops on the main road, Majeedhee Magu, and 17th-century Hukuru Miskiy (also known as Friday Mosque) made of carved white coral. No wonder it’s a honeymoon staple.

Cheapest flight: Around Rs60,000.

Eastern Europe – the new it place 

You may not think Eastern Europe is cheap area but it actually is! If you want a unique travel experience that truly captivates, this entire region is the place for you.

Take Romania for example. Whatever you think this country is, it probably isn’t. The Transylvanian region, in particular, defies expectations with its quaint medieval towns and spectacular Carpathian mountain range. Many travel bloggers reiterate that it’s a beautiful country with great food and friendly people. The cheapest flight is around Rs60,000 (not to mention once you’re there, eating and sleeping is great value!), making it one of the most inexpensive countries to travel to for Pakistanis.

And, can we please talk about Ukraine. It’s on every traveller’s bucket list as of late and there are raving reviews about it. With flights starting from around Rs50,000, Ukraine is possibly one of the cheapest options for Pakistanis wanting to go beyond the Middle East.

Hotspots: The coastal city of Odessa on the Black Sea is a favourite, while the beautiful city of Lviv (close to the Polish border) is widely tipped as offering some of the best values for money in Europe.

5 Muslim countries that are trending holiday destinations this summer

Azerbaijan and Georgia – easy on the eyes and the wallets

View this post on Instagram

I burnt my hand in Georgia. . I was rushing to catch the 10 am Mashrukta (intercity mini-bus) from Tbilisi to Signagi. When I reached the bus stop, there was a 10-minute window. I bought some bananas for breakfast & coffee in a flimsy, small cup from a tiny window in a kiosk. I got into the minibus with low roof, my back bent, backpack on, bananas, wallet & phone in one hand and coffee cup in another. As I sat amongst two strangers, and tried to adjust my butt, I shook the coffee cup, it spilled a bit on my hand, it was so hot that in within a second, my instincts had me drop the entire thing, and then it spilled it on my right palm all the way to my right thigh, splashes on left hand; and couple splashes on the stranger sitting next to me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I was first embarrassed on my clumsiness, then guilty for being late & rushing in the first place and then in pain. I had burnt my right palm and it was BURNING. The bus had started. It was a 2-hour ride to this small city, Signagni, reputed to be the city of love. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And in burning pain I thought, holy mother of shits I need to see a doctor and finding a doctor in a small city I’m heading to for the first time! I was sure I’m gonna get huge blisters all over my palm and then I won’t be able to touch or hold anything and then the rest of the trip will be a waste. All thoughts crossed my head in the next 15 minutes. I felt like crying. The only thing that comforted me was the reminder that I was medically insured for such accidents, courtesy @jgi.pk (not an ad). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anyway, I kept a bundle of tissue paper soaked in water, between the palm of my hands, the entire journey. Suggested by the stranger next to me. And that did relieve me to some extent. I reached Signagi, the burning had calmed & I didnt feel the need to see a doctor. I looked at my coffee-stained dress, felt sad; but then I looked at the terra cotta roofs, amidst lush green hills and cobblestone streets of Signagi and I forgot the incident. I headed ahead to explore this tiny quaint town & make the most of my day! Ever spilled coffee & burnt yourself? Outfit courtesy: @qnhstore #Signagi #Georgia

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Travel Lifestyle (@girlwithgreenpassport) on Jun 11, 2019 at 8:52am PDT

Speaking of Eastern Europe, take Georgia for example. Where is it? Right next to the latest Pakistani travellers favourite, Azerbaijan. So  consider going to both countries together and explore this stunning region.

Georgia small country in the Caucasus – one you’ll probably be hearing more about it in the years to come. It all starts in the eccentric capital of Tbilisi. From there, be sure to explore the stunning Caucasian Mountain range, dip your feet in the Black Sea, and visit ancient hilltop monasteries (a few of them are inside caves!) all over the country.

View this post on Instagram

Welcome to Georgia. Sitting at the crossroads of Asia & Europe, but unfairly, the less talked about country, compared to its neighbouring Turkey. It swept me off my feet with its expansive sights, sounds, experiences and tastes. All of which, I had a heart full of in my 10 days. Tbilisi, the beating heart of the country sits in the lap of lush green hills. It is dotted with old Eurasian architecture on the slopes and decorated with modern and artistic glass shaped buildings and bridges in the centre. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Three hours north of the capital & I was in the midst of the Caucasus mountain. The tapestry changed. The little town of Kazbegi welcomed me first with its chilly mountain air & then warmed me with the hospitality. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I drove 2 hours east of Tbilisi, I was in Kaheti, the wine region of the country. Ask a local and they show you with pride, their traditional winemaking methods. With a curious set of eyes and ears, I learnt all I could about 8000-year-old Georgian winemaking tradition. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Three hours west of Tbilisi, I reached one of the oldest cities in Europe, Kutaisi. The highlight was the locals I met; they were even more friendly and had all the time in the world for conversations. They enjoyed learning about Pakistan from me as I did about Georgia from them. Nature swayed me even more, as I visited the canyons nearby Kutaisi. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The only thought I had throughout my visit, is that this country deserves more limelight than it has! There is so much I want to pour out, but I gotta save some for upcoming posts. Are you guys with me? Pls let me know what do you want me to tell about the country? . : Old town Tbilisi (picture taken via self timer & remote)

A post shared by ANAM HAKEEM

Travel Lifestyle (@girlwithgreenpassport) on May 28, 2019 at 5:10am PDT

As for Azerbaijan, the capital Baku is an obvious must.  There’s so much you can pack in a few days, including the ultra-modern Heydar Aliyev Center.

Flights: Cheapest air-tickets to either or of these countries are around Rs45,000, usually with one stop somewhere in the Middle East.

Vietnam – a different kind of South East Asia

Forget Thailand and Sri Lanka right now because Vietnam is all that it’s about these days. And for good reason too. From the beautiful chaos of Hanoi’s Old Quarter to the serene Hoi An riverfront adorned with coloured lanterns, this is truly a country full of contrasts.

But Vietnam is not for the faint-hearted. If adventure is what you’re about, be prepared for crazy weather cycles and off-beat exotic scenery. Alas, it’s also among the cheapest places in Asia: eat local and you’ll struggle to spend more than a few hundred rupees per meal. A round trip ticket is around Rs87,000.

What to do: There are a myriad of pristine beaches, such as Mango Bay and Halong Bay. Don’t forget to explore rice-farming mountains where you can go caving. Adventure sports on the beaches are also a must.

Have something to add to the story? Share in the comments below.

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[imaginesmatsu]

zinc white and rose!

please do not reb.log this.

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now?

i've got my partner and i've been gettin good grades this semester so far, and my cousin and friend are comin to the same college as me next semester.

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

i'm honestly sorry you asked. tldr: i'm stressed and i want to cry because lack of attention and my father is a piece of shit.

tbh i'm not doin too great. i know it seems like i've been but it's easy to pretend when you're just typin words on a screen. i do my best to be a light in everyone's life but my fuse is close to burnin out and i just don't really know how to deal with it.

my father's been tryin to get back into the family, and it wouldnt be as bad if he didnt just ditch out a couple years ago and then force mom to make a decision in a couple weeks with the threat of us having to leave my childhood home if she says no. i still have stuff i haven't caught up on in college, i'm on academic probation, and i've honestly thought about suicide more in the past couple weeks than i have in my life. i'm not going to do it because i don't want mom to do it, and i dont want anyone to be worried about me trying because i don't want it to be painful at all so i cant do it. honestly my anxiety is so bad that i wouldnt want to do it anyway, cause i have no clue whatll happen after i die.

and it sucks, you know? cause this isnt just a 'how ive been feelin today' thing, this is a 'how ive been feelin for weeks' thing. and i've been talkin to the campus counselor and stuff and i'm gonna have to get a therapist durin the summer cause there's no way in hell i'll be able to survive out here in the middle of nowhere without anyone to actually go and talk to face-to-face, where i can get out of the house and out of the room and so i can just be out.

thats honestly the most of it. the other reason i'm down is because my partner was supposed to come over today but he didn't because he was gonna get his brakes checked today but it was either wait four hours to see what was wrong or wait til tomorrow, and he chose to wait til tomorrow. and i know the reasonin behind it is because he didnt wanna waste four hours waitin for his brakes to get checked and still not be able to come down but at the same time i still cried. i always get my hopes up for no reason yknow? so it hurts because i won't get to see him for another week and honestly he's the other reason why i'm still alive. he helps ground me and talks me through dumb shit and if i didn't have him i probably would've crashed by now and i know other people have it worse with their relationships and lack thereof but i rely so much on physical affection and positive attention that there are times where i'll cry just because someone told me i did a good job (when i'm not being cocky, at least). so just.....having to go a week without getting physical love hurts, because that's what keeps me going. the two nd a half weeks i was sick? i couldnt see cj at all, and it killed me when he said that he couldnt hang out for the rest of the month, nd it's only within the past couple weeks that we've been able to kiss again. nd i dig that he doesn't wanna get sick but part of the reason my ex and i broke up was because i wasn't getting the attention i needed and because he couldn't accept the thought that i might be polyamorous (idk if i actually am but he just Could Not Accept That) but still

baseline is i'm a sad sonofabitch and i've cried once today and i might cry again because cj didnt message me for a goodnight call (and i'm usually the one to message first but i've told him that he should start messagin first sometimes cause honestly? i know he cares but the fact that he doesnt message first mostly ever really hurts and i'm pretty sure i've told him that already) and there's just so much goin on that i have no clue what else to do

[scum2]

Know the blogger: scum2 <3

i stole all of these questions from @miniwixoide . thank you

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? the gag is: ive never kissed anyone

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? pretty much

Do you like someone? not really

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? nope G*d!

Are you happier now or three months ago? dare i say it? 3 months ago

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? literally just waking up and realizing im not hungover

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? literally absolutely never

Are you waiting for something? exams and liver failure 

If you could change your eye color would you? brown is fine

What was the weather like today? i wish it had rained more but it was sexy. cloudy mostly

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? nope

Does your ex still love/like you? don’t really have an “ex” but probably not

Are you stubborn? i’d like to think so

Do you tend to hold a grudge? yes but i try not to

Where were you at 9am this morning? kind of passing out while sleeping through 5 different alarms in my bed. thanks

How has the week been? (laughing and crying emoji and all that)

Did you go out or stay in last night? kind of both

Something you do a lot? smile/have fun/drink (all of these are the same)

How many states have you lived in? haha

Can you commit to one person? absolutely

Who was the last person to hold your hand? ? its probably been a month+ since anyone did so i dont rmember

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? :thinking: 

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? yes if either of us survives by then

What do you miss most about your ex? lol

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? lol

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? and dare i say… lol again

Something you really want right now? either drugs or a dude to sleep with. preferably both

How long have you liked the person you like? no1 now but the person before like for a year

Does any part of your body hurt right now? soul </3

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? yes

Are you happy with the way things are going? what is…. “happy”?

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? probably not

What plans do you have for tomorrow? go out to a restaurant on my own before my mom comes over + “study”

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? several

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? not really since i didnt have the opportunity

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? no lol... queen

Do you and your last ex hate each other? not really from my side

When was the last time you were sick? My mind is always sick. *reveals my “Damaged.” tattoo on my forehead*

Are you one of those people who are always cold? literally never

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? absolutely depends but usually not

Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

When was the last time you got a haircut? right before prom so... about a month and a week ago

Did you sing at all today? yes!

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? weather

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? don’t think so

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? typing definitely

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? i’d... laugh.

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? both are the same for me....

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? legiterally? never really thought about it 

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? *smiles as i pretend like i know what half of these words mean*

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? dunno what star break is but i definitely cant see myself a s a ballerina... but tea

Honestly - can you say that looks don’t matter at ALL? literally no

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? im gay. thanks

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? mario... but i’m a bitch

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? yes

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? 12 - 5 

Yes or no: Techno music? sure

Yes or no: pigtails? honestly? no 

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? haha *clueless*

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? probably ...actually yes

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache?

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? i’m a leo.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? lol

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? yes and way too much to mention

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? funny... serious people are boring usually and that’s a fact 

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? i dont have a “time of the month” but i have mood swings every 2 hours

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? why is this so obsessed with kissing

How old is your oldest cousin? *has no clue about anything relating to my family*  ... 30ish i think

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? i’d wake up

Your last relationship, who dumped who? hm

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? never really had

Is your home town nice? beautiful+sexy and all that.....

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? honestly? that would be great

When/where did your last hug take place? like.... god knows

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? yes.i try anyway

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? not really

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from?i charl and maybe ki

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? absolutely god....

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? nah

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? honestly? wow. we’d both kill ourselves on the spot i think

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. love is deeper than just 1st impressions but go off.. anyways no

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? ireland with my bff obviously

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? to a degree but not severely

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? a part of it