#eidel

[experimentalmadness]

Broken Bird

Summary: Astarion is extremely confused by the odd fact Tav doesn't seem to want him for sex. But then, whatever in the world could she want?

Early relationship woes and Astarion slowly realizing he may have just played himself.

You can read more about Eidel and Astarion here

***

Astarion was at a loss. 

He flipped idly through the pages of the book he was only half paying attention to while the camp buzzed about with activity. Karlach and Wyll were still finding things to clean from the tiefling’s party the other night and Astarion did not wish to be volunteered to assist. 

By all accounts the party was a success. 

Wasn’t it?

He watched Eidel at the edge of camp. She sat cross legged, her staff alongside her as she tended to an injured sparrow she had found that morning. She smiled as she examined her charge, all teeth and scrunched up nose. Her gaze flitted over to his and she waved. Astarion winced, but instinct was a funny thing. He shot her an easy grin and a flirtatious wave of his own. 

Not that any of his old instincts had served him well last night. 

It all started out simple enough. He’d made his best proposition, he’d seen the blush rise in those mottled cheeks, seen her shy nod when she had agreed to scamper off into the night alone with him…and then? 

“And what is it you want?” She had asked him, all guileless eyes and innocence. Her words had stopped him cold. No one had asked him that. Not in two hundred years. But still he had an easy answer. He always did. That naive act had to stop eventually. He had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. But…it never did. 

“Why did you really come here with me?” Astarion asked. 

“Well, that’s easy, I like you! I wanted to spend time with you!” Eidel laughed. 

“Darling, here I am. We have nothing but time,” he purred. 

“The stars are so bright tonight. We could walk along the river, I thought? There’s a rise up not far from camp where we could look at them. Are you sure you won’t take my cloak? You’ll catch a chill.”

She wasn’t playing by the rules. He didn’t have time to answer before Eidel tossed her cloak over his bare shoulders, fussing as she pinned the edges. He had seduced his fair share of innocents before. But once they were alone they always went for him, no matter how shyly. But Eidel was either the densest woman in all of Faerun, or she was deliberately avoiding the obvious. 

“Aren’t you sweet?” If she wasn’t going to play the game his way, he’d have no choice but to play it the way she wanted. Dense or obtuse, she was still the best bet he had for protection. “And I’m sure that perfect little body of yours absolutely glows in the starlight. Lead on.”

He didn’t sleep with her that night. 

She’d led him up to the hill and rambled on about the stars and the constellations and how she’d never seen so many before. She’d sat beside him and clung tight to his arm as she excitedly talked. He’d watched as her eyes went as big as the world in her enthusiasm and when he did manage to kiss her she tasted of guilt. 

Technically it should have all felt like a victory. She was clearly enamored with him, sex be damned, and she was gullible enough he had her dancing to his tune no matter what he said. 

So why did all this feel…so terrible?

Astarion blanched as Eidel motioned for him to join her. He set the book down and walked on. It didn’t matter how he felt about the situation, he had a part to play. 

He smiled as he approached, lessening the seductive stare and mimicking her open one instead. “What can I do for you, my dear?” He asked lightly, sitting alongside her. 

She giggled. “I like when you call me that. Can I call you that?” 

“You may call me whatever you wish. Now, did you invite me over merely for my company? Not that I’d blame you.”

“I need your help,” she said. “Could you hold onto my friend here, and keep him nice and still while I set this splint for his wing?”

“Me?” Astarion asked. “Wouldn’t….wouldn’t Halsin be the better option? I’m not exactly the nurturing kind.”

“Oh that’s not true! You’re perfect for the job or I wouldn’t have asked,” Eidel said, holding out the sparrow. 

“Animals tend to run at the scent of blood, you know,” he pouted. 

“Hold out your hand, please,” she said. Astarion was beginning to think she wasn’t dense at all. Merely stubborn. 

It didn’t seem he had much of a choice. He sighed and cupped his hands as Eidel placed the bird in his palms. The bird gave a small peep and ruffled his feathers, but settled in moments and Astarion kept him still as Eidel delicately stretched the bird’s broken wing to fit the split onto it. 

“See?” She said as she worked. “He trusts you.”

“Your bird must not be very smart, then. That’s an objectively stupid thing to do.”

“Why? You’re a good person to trust.”

A slight splinter of guilt stabbed at the base of Astarion’s stomach. “Eidel, you’ve seen me lie, and cheat, and kill dozens of people. Sometimes all in one day.”

“Well, yeah, the world is a dangerous place and we have to do things to survive. I know that, but that’s not the same thing is it?” Eidel bit her lip as she tied off the bandage. “You can’t keep an animal anywhere it does not wish to be.”

“Easy for you to say, I believe the bird with the splint doesn’t have many options.”

“Don’t let that fool you. There now,” she took the bird gently from Astarion’s hands. “All set. Stay here in camp and I’ll check on that wing in a week, you should be good as new soon enough.”

The sparrow chirped what Astarion could only assume was a thank you before hopping off. Eidel watched him go. 

“I know what you wanted from me last night,” she said without looking back at him. 

The splinter in his middle tore a little wider. “I’m…I’m not sure I know what you mean, darling.”

“I would have said but I was afraid you’d leave, and I’d never had a night like that. It was perfect, and I was selfish, because you’re wonderful and I’ve never liked anyone before. But I’m not sure you’d want to spend more nights like that with me if sex is off the table for now. I’d understand. I won’t pretend it won’t hurt, but I would…understand.”

She’d taken the playbook and thrown it into the fire. He blinked at her as she turned around to look at him. Her eyes were downcast, as if she expected him to toss her aside. He wasn’t entirely certain he understood her at all. What did she want from him if she wasn’t after an easy escape? All of his best instincts were to offer a physical compliment, a teasing line, something to turn her head. He realized he was frozen. He’d never been with anyone who hadn’t wanted him for his body, for what the lies it could offer. 

“Darling,” he laughed, hoping she didn’t catch the hitch in his tone. “I’m hurt you’d think I’d cast you aside so quickly. In fact, I was going to ask you for another midnight stroll, but if you’re not interested…”

“Really?!” 

He inhaled sharply as her expression brightened, her one pale eye and one red eye lighting up like the sky. And the mottled pink that cracked through her otherwise copper skin turned a lovely shade of magenta where it polka dotted across her cheeks. “I’d…I’d like that!” She said in a rush. 

“Good,” he took her hands in his as he helped them both to their feet. “Then I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight, my star!” She repeated, bouncing on her heels as she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. She pulled away, blushing furiously, a hand on her lips as if unsure if she was allowed to do such a thing.

My star? 

“Oh, I can think of something else if you’re not fond of it,” she said. Apparently his look of confusion had been a tad too obvious. 

“No…no it’s…charming,” he cleared his throat. He had to get away from her. “I’ll see you later.”

It was all for the best, he rationalized. She got a companion and in exchange he got a powerful druid as protection. She was utterly his regardless of how he had won her over, that much was clear. But it was all…wrong. She was practically eating out of his palm, wasn’t that what he had wanted? He thought of that pathetic, little bird he had held in his hands moments ago…how he should have broken its neck before it ever tried to trust him.

[jacksothereye]

This is my bird man. There are many like him but....

No nevermind. I've never met anyone like Eidel. You haven't either. Just put your name down. It'll be fine.

[jacksothereye]

Hhhhhh you made my totally-not-a-bird-man look SO PEAK. I've kept it on my phone and have just been pulling it up to stare at it ever since you showed him to me. Absolutely clenched his vibe, I'm never going to get sick of fawning over it. Thank you again!

What are you waiting for?

[For @jacksothereye !]

[wulfbrews]

i love her so much. i’m unwell.

[sweetdreamsjeff]

Busman's Holiday For Jeff Buckley

This sideman thing is OK, but really, how about getting into the studio and recording a new album already.

By MTV News Staff April 6, 1996

The mesmerizing singer/songwriter Jeff Buckley will slip into the background next month, when he hits the road as a sideman, playing bass in Mind Science of the Mind. The group is headed by Shudder To Think guitarist Nathan Larson, and includes Joan Wasser of the Dambuilders on violin, Mary Timony from Helium on Guitar and Kevin March, also of the Dambuilders, on drums. Larson plays guitar and sings. The group will be performing Larson-penned material, and it is not expected that Buckely will do anything except hold down his responsibilities as half of the rhythm section. A source close to Buckely told ATN: "Jeff loves the Dambuilders. He's also a big Shudder To Think fan, a long-time Shudder To Think fan. And he had the Dambuilders open for him in Australia." Good enough. This is, as they say, "a oneshot." Meanwhile, in terms of his own trip, Buckely has replaced drummer Matt Johnson (who departed following Buckley's recent Australian tour) with Eric Eidel. It's expected that Buckely will use Eidel, bassist Mick Grondal and guitarist Michael Tighe when he begins recording his next album this summer.

[nervoussystemmusicreverence]

Jeff Buckley - Everybody Here Wants You

Music Video

Artist

Jeff Buckley

Composer

Jeff Buckley

Lyricist

Jeff Buckley

Produced

Jeff Buckley Tom Verlaine

Credit

Jeff Buckley – Guitar, vocals Michael Tighe – Guitar Mick Grøndahl – Bass guitar Eric Eidel – Drums Parker Kindred – Drums

Released

May 26 1998

Streaming

[lo-batteryy]

Idk if albinaurics can be tarnished but that’s not going to stop me. Her name is Eidel :)

[vienguinn]

Cas want to carry Eidel because he doesn’t want her to walk by herself in pain 💝

(Eidel belongs to @wulfbrews )

[miss--soapy]

[COMMISSION]

Eidel & Dorian for wulfbrews & ccalloways on TikTok!

[telekinetictrait]

"Shielded by my own obscurity, and by the lapse of years, and a few fictitious names, I do not fear to venture; and will candidly lay before the public what I would not disclose to the most intimate friend." (Agnes Grey, A Novel – Anne Brontë, 1847)

anne brontë likers we need to unionize.

ah, the 1840s! the brontë sisters, edgar allen poe, charles dickens... and what i can only imagine is an incredibly confusing amount of petticoats. the torso becomes thinner and longer, with the characteristic "point" ending of the bodice. skirts continue to grow, and grow, and grow... you get the point. sleeves fluctuate through this era, but are more often than not kept close to the arms – a major difference from the 1830s. the stereotypical victorian conservatism can be seen in daydresses of this era. speaking of daydresses, it became easier for women of the (gasp) lower class to mimic the styles of upper class women, as fashion moved from trims to the fabric and cuts themselves. its much easier for your average woman to obtain fabric than to obtain jewels, for example. going forward, expect a mix of upper and lower (more accurately, the slowly forming middle) class fashions!

also, i have been flying through these. i have no idea how long this amount of energy and hyperfocus is going to last. also also, to every cc creator that is getting tagged over and over: i'm sorry. it is a cc desert out here and you are oases. also also also: i reused a dress once. i could have sworn i downloaded ten but apparently i only downloaded nine ??

1800-1809 / 1810-1819 / 1820-1829 / 1830-1839

cc links under the cut

see my resources page

ealasaid : buzzardly28's 1840s hairs / bedisfull's pearl and frill headband / kiarazurk's fairytale dress / ikari-sims' princess gloves

echo : buzzardly28's 1840s hairs / jarisimcc's necklace / vintagesimstress' 1841 ball gown / dzifasims' jane gloves

edelmira : buzzardly28's 1840s hairs / simstomaggie's losse bonnet / elfdor's victorian dress #1

eidel : buzzardly28's 1840s cecilia hair / linzlu's colonial cap / acanthus-sims' tied fichu / vintagesimstress' 1843 day dress

elektra : wastelandwhisperer's chamomile hair / linzlu's fancy bonnet / simverses' norse visby fur cape / sunlittides' 1840s day dress

endzela : turquoiseesims' aster hair (download here) / huiernxoxo's mulani gem earrings / simsonico's shining nikki shy lady necklace conversion / buzzardly28's june dress / dzifasims' jane gloves

ernestine : linzlu's sallie hair / lace-and-honey's linzlu prarie bonnet conversion / vintagesimstress' 1843 day dress

estrella : tekri's lucrezia bun / glitterberrysims' victorian era / oydis' esther dress / dzifasims' jane gloves

euphrasie : pandorasimbox's victorian modest daycap / vintagesimstress' 1848 velvet dress

evita : feralpoodles' victoria hair / toksiks' silence choker / acanthus-sims' rose brooch / buzzardly28's summer ball gown

thank you to @buzzardly28 @bedisfull @ikari-sims @jarisimcc @vintagesimstress @dzifasims @simstomaggie @elfdor @linzlu @wastelandwhisperer @simverses @sunlittides @huiernxoxo @simsonico @lace-and-honey @tekri @glitterberrysims @oydis @pandorasimbox and @feralpoodles

[sthormiiii]

my tav's refs!! 🫶

eidel ("ei"), she/her, tiefling bard and an absolute mess

[experimentalmadness]

Pain and Promises

Synopsis: I promised y'all a sweet, sad, ace Tav with an Ascended Astarion and I'm delivering. This is right before Tav is turned. She's been hurt so badly before, all she wants is to be safe. For once. Luckily, Astarion can provide.

Warnings: Depictions of serious physical harm, captivity.

I'd love to write more of these two, so please if you enjoy the story lemme know. :)

EDIT: Reader, I did write more. You can find more about Eidel and Astarion here.

***

“Will it hurt? When you make me a vampire?” 

Eidel blinked those large, discordant eyes up at Astarion: one a pale, blue moon, the other a blood, red sun. Her mottled brass and peony pink petal skin caught the fading light so charmingly as she stood against the window in their shared chambers at the Elfsong. 

“Only for a moment,” he answered honestly, “The pleasure will far outweigh the pain.”

She was always a vision, but somehow since his ascension she had only grown more beautiful in his eyes. There were others who found her off putting, her mismatched eyes, her mottled skin, her bird-like inhuman legs. To be sure Astarion didn’t exactly know what she was. He’d never asked, she’d never said.

Eidel did not seem at ease by his answer. She rubbed a delicate hand against her neck as she stared out the window. Astarion pressed a kiss to her defenseless collarbone, unable to resist laving attention at the enticing pulse point. The point of his fangs brushed against her skin every so slightly, but he did not bite down. Not yet. Every instinct screamed at him to do so. He could already taste her sweet blood. He wanted to drain her dry, see the light fade from those exquisite eyes of hers only to reopen with a new light. One that he owned. 

She giggled as his lips trailed upward until they circled the shell of her ear. What delightful sounds she made. Only for him. His hands went around her waist, skating underneath her blouse to pull it off of her. Eidel sitffend in his arms. “This will be easier without such restrictions,” he whispered in her ear. “Unless of course you prefer I leave your clothes a bloody mess.”

“Astarion, that’s not…”

“Ah, my sweet, the only pleasure I’m after is your blood.” 

What a darling creature she was. She had never looked upon him with any kind of lust. Not even when he had been a pathetic spawn and had tried his very best to seduce her. She had been the only one to ever look at him with trust and true affection. And now he’d be the only one she’d grant such looks to. Forever. 

But he could not abide that look of fear in her eyes now. “Not having second thoughts, are we?” He would not allow it. She was his. The wave of possessiveness came upon him so strongly he nearly bit down then and there. 

“No!” She gasped, eyes going wider. “I…it’s…” her spindly, lithe arms wrapped around herself, her brow furrowed and she shivered. “I’ve never…” she plucked at the sleeves of her blouse. 

Astarion laughed. “Eidel! I’m offering you eternity and you believe I’ll be offended at the sight of you naked? You really are such a dear.” His innocent, little treasure. It was a good thing she would have him from now on.  

But Eidel did not seem at all relieved. If anything she looked positively panicked, and he was beginning to get annoyed. 

“Promise me you won’t be angry?”

“Angry?” The request banished his oncoming annoyance. 

Eidel heaved a sigh and uncurled her arms from about herself as she removed her blouse. Astarion bit back a gasp. Her body was a network of old scars. Cratered around her torso and breasts it almost looked like whole chunks of flesh had been removed at one time. And when she turned to undo her belt and pants he saw twin divots on her back where it appeared as if something had been surgically removed. 

The scars continued down her body where a small, mangled bony stump rested just at her lower back. The remnants of a tail, no doubt. He had always just assumed her mild lack of grace to be a rather adorable quirk of hers. 

“Who…who did this to you?” He bared his fangs at an invisible enemy, the rage at who would have dared touch his treasure burning hot and fast. 

Eidel backed away from him, shrinking. “No, no please don’t be angry!”

She might as well ask a forest fire to stop raging. The bones in Astarion’s hands cracked as he clenched his fists. He wanted a name. And preferably a location, but that could wait. He’d enjoy hunting them down, slowlying peeling the flesh from their skin as they hung helplessly in the kennels. He could already imagine their screams. 

“I asked you a question.” He could barely speak between clenched teeth.

“I never knew their names,” Eidel huddled up in the corner of the room, in the small space between the closet and the bed. “They kept me in a cage ever since I can remember. I had done…done something wrong. Or…I wasn’t what they had wanted. I don’t know. I never knew. Astarion, I don’t want to talk about this. Please don’t make me.”

Names. So more than one was responsible for this? His vision reddened and he felt his new powers straining against his thin control. But the anger dissipated at the sound of Eidel’s tears. He blinked, realizing just how much she had contorted herself trying to hide in the little space. 

“Oh, darling,” he stood over her, offering her a hand up. She took it and launched herself into his arms.  

“It still hurts,” she sniffled. “My wings…my tail…when I’m a vampire, will it stop?”

Wings. His hands trailed over the divots on her back, he pressed her to him as tight as he could as a fresh wave of wrath rolled over him. He didn’t have an answer for her. He should have. 

“Nothing will ever be able to harm you again, once you are mine, my love,” he promised against her scars, already wanting to kiss and lick and bite each and every one of them. 

“Once I’m yours,” she whispered, like a soft prayer. She relaxed a little against him at last. 

“You will be safe. Forever.”

“Safe…”

He kissed the tears from her eyes. How sweet she was, how trusting. “Now, I believe I promised to make your last hours of life joyful ones, let’s have no more of these tears.”

She smiled up at him, shyly, lovingly. Perfect, she was perfect when she looked at him like that. 

“Astarion,” her hands roamed up his back, coming to rest over the infernal scars. “No one will ever hurt you again, either, while you are with me.” Her voice was honey-sweet and soft. 

He wanted to laugh. The Vampire Ascendant needing protection from a soon-to-be little spawn? What a ridiculous notion. But his newly half-living heart lurched forward in his chest. Her blue and red eyes were sincere, despite her own pain. “You are safe with me,” she repeated his words back to him and they rang in his ears. 

“Little love,” he sighed, dipping his head so that his fangs rested at her neck. A promise made, a promise kept. And he bit down. 

[jacksothereye]

You ever come up with an idea that haunts you deeply?

This guy popped into my head about a week ago and I've been drawing him every day since. He's an auditor for a limbo universe that I'm developing and he does not have full control over all of those extra handses. Some of them are helpful but some of em are real fuckers so be careful which one you shake.

Side note: It's both scary and liberating to find myself drawing outside of a fandom. Please be nice to me.

[harupsds]

(156. eidel).psd coloring made by harupsds ©

This effect was made by me in photoshop cc and it works better on it. Before downloading read all the rules and follow them, be honest. Don't forget to leave your feedback or suggestion.

Like or reblog if you download and follow me for more content.

Don’t repost, reupload or put on pack/google drive.

Don’t claim as your own.

Don’t recreate, use as base or steal layers.

Adjust the layers or add new ones if needed.

Give me credit if you use it.

Free for personal/non-commercial use. Commercial use is NOT ALLOWED.

Before/After.

��� Download: deviantart.

This is our work done with effort and time spent. Please do not copy do not violate, and do not sell it as if it were yours. The Preview was made by me, being my own. Please, if your photo is here, talk to me. It is not my intention to violate the copyright rules.

[wulfbrews]

eidel’s animagi form is a piebald deer. i needed do document this information on this platform because i love her so dearly.

i wrote that the “white splotches” are the visible pieces of ancient magic inside of her 🩰

[starlightomatic]

I put this in a reblog but it’s a post I’m now blocked from so I’ll just make it its own post.

This is about gender roles and how they’re constructed differently in different cultures, using two particular cultures as an example.

So in white, Western, Christian culture the things that get lauded as masculine are things like athleticism, aggression, and physicality. Things like being nerdy and bookish will be seen as unmasculine even though they’re not necessarily feminine.

And then femininity is marked by being demure, being gentle and indirect so as not to upset anyone, not speaking up, repressing your feelings, doing household labor rather than outside the house labor, etc.

However, Jewish gender roles are constructed differently. Traditionally, Jewish men were lauded if they spent their time studying Jewish texts. They were supposed to be “eidel” which means something like refined, gentle, and studious. Physicality and athleticism were seen as unrefined and too boisterous.

And Jewish women, as opposed to their Western goyish counterparts, can be loud and opinionated without violating gender norms. And in the shtetl, they often were the ones doing business outside the home — as well as household labor.