#eh my brain is fried

[kindred-spirit-93]

ah right yes my bad. my diamond fortified memory at it again (med school will be the death of me XD)

also i forgot that theres a hierarchy of sorts to the industry so even with good paying clients luc would still be struggling :(

WAIT WAIT BABY MAMA DRAMA?! theos mum got a sudden change of hear or wut? anyway we stan a single dad who kills for his theo <3 but seriously, theo was dropped at i assume his abusive exs house and then luc left, howd the bitch find them? IS SHE THE ASSASSIN? im joking XD

nooooooooooooo not the friend dying! what has this child done? were they a kid of a client or something? collateral damage? did luc specifically have it out for him for 'stealing' his dove and keeping him out of the nest?? also what oath did they take? empire related or a friendship promise thing? ah my baby how could u sunny?

the suicide pact goes hard ngl. i really love the concept of "hey this apartment looks awful with the blood and God knows what else smeared all over every surface and is no place to live let alone raise a child, but you know what would make this better? pancakes."

as in the world is caving in from every side, (im guessing clients come over not the other way around idk) but its in some ways, still their home. where theo walked his first and drew on the walls (and nearly got himslef killed playing with the washing detergent. no i dont speak form experience)

------

okokok idea: its the aftermath of mama dove going absolutely feral, theyve temporarily moved into a smaller place after the break in from theos mother and lucs increasing paranoia. or maybe theyre on the run bc the scene was semi public idk just roll w me here

its a quiant little place in the outskirts of the city, belonged to an old couple (bonus if said couple are a. on holiday and the duo broke in, or b. they were killed and now luc has access to the place) and its the homiest place theyve seen. it was so cosy and inviting it was almost unnerving; rugs everywhere, soft wallpaper, no lingering smell of sweat and bleach and dirt, but instead of flowers and baked goods.

wiping his nose on his bloodied sleeve, luc puts the gun on the mantlepiece and goes to the kitchen to fix something for them. something sweet he thinks for his dove. sugar after a shock was nothing more than a wives tale but it was all he could think of. his eyes rest on some pancake mix.

losing a friend and witnessing murder was not something he wanted for his precious boy. he deserved a better life, a stabler home, a dad who could be there for him *angsty pancake making intensifies* while theo, still high from the shock, starts to consider his options.

the meal was uneventful. awkward almost. what do you say to your dad who brutally killed someone infront of you? what do you say to your child after being the sole reason their only friend was killed?

they talk eventually. something about the pancakes being too sweet. luc snorts and goes to clean the dishes. theo makes his way to the fireplace, registering the weight of the gun in his hand, holding it the way hed seen his own father many a time before. ignoring the gnawing ache of his instincts screaming at him to not do this.

luc doesnt see it coming, which theo is glad for. he didnt think hed like to see the look on his face when he turned and was met with a muzzle of a gun aimed at his head. the light leaving in his eyes would have been too much.

as luc lies there in his blood, confused as to why his dove, his gift, his life and his light, was sobbing next to him. he apologises for maybe the first time in his life for not being a better dad (or even better he cries a bit to parallel his tears when theo was born), and tells theo that he was the best thing to ever happen to him, and how much he love him. how proud of him and the science project he missed last week...

and then he dies. or he doesnt and its hilarious. like: dad no im sorry dont go please! IM TRYING TO REST BE QUIET. *beauty sleep joke*

also yes please luc romance (platonic if im pushing my luck) where he can drop his guard finally. unless the whole point is mysterious murdery enemies with benefits lol.

------

alternate ending theo shoots himself and dies nearly instantly. or luc kinda stand there, not really putting 2 and 2 together till he calls out to him one last time then proceeds to peace out.

cue montage of their best moments and the unspoken love and all the feels and replaying their last conversation (theos last words were abt the pancakes being too sweet) and he cant cry from the shock so he just screams till his throat is raw.

holding his dead sons body close to himself, wracked with grief and a. goes on a murderous rampage achilles style (and being killed by da police later) or b. kills himself too.

-------------

bonus bonus the old couple nearly get a heart attack opening the door and finding two people dead (and probably decaying) in their living room (on marge's carpet no less).

THE END I NEED SLEEP I IS TIRED

Have some more of the traumatized dumbass (y’all are going to have an aneurysm tryna read the text lmao I do recommend zooming in that helps) and with more art comes more lore. -Luc was staying with an abusive guy until the baby arrived at his doorstep. After seeing the child he finally found enough courage to run -he gets shot a lot. It’s kind of wild honestly. He had like, what? A solid 8 bullet scars now? It’s a miracle he’s alive. -his own kid once had to remove a bullet lodged in his back (that by some miracle above) didn’t permanently damage him. Trauma +1 -he calls his kid “little dove” -his kid does love him. Is their relationship basically dust now? Sorta. Does his son keep on wishing he died from on of the bullets? Yeah. There’s a whole lot of shit, but they do love each other. They’re all the other has, anyways. (There’s also the fact that if they act like they hate eachother, people wouldn’t target Luc’s son) -after Theo (his kid) shoots him, he literally smiles and goes “I’m glad you can be safe of your own now” Theo cries begging him not to die (whether he does or doesn’t hasn’t been decided). In the end Theo is still just a little boy clinging onto his father’s fingers.

[greasydumbfuck]

also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad

[shima-draws]

Law’s VA also voices Neuvillette and I didn’t KNOW?? What is WRONG with me!!!!

[stormyoceans]

Have you seen GAP the series?? Personally I thought it was trash. So bad, but I heard they changed the script so many times so it was bound to happen. I didn’t watch Marvellous Dream but everyone says it was bad too. Now Loyal Pin is starting and I don’t want to give that a chance either. What the heck, Idol Factory? I’m not saying they’re masterpieces but their BLs are good. Why can’t they make good GLs?

i have indeed watched GAP but i have to admit that it’s hard for me to be as objective about this show as i usually try to be with all the media i consume, because while part of me KNOWS it’s not the best series, im also very fond of it for what it represented as the first fully fledged GL we’ve ever gotten

im also aware i tend to be more forgiving towards GLs compared to BLs, mostly because BL shows have been around for years and were allowed to sometimes be pretty bad as they experimented and tried things out, while as it often happens with women i feel like a lot of people expected GLs to be nothing short than perfect from the get go and refuse to allow even the smallest misstep

all this being said, my marvellous dream is you was definitely (and unfortunately) not a good show (albeit i did weirdly enjoy some parts of it), and if you already didn’t like GAP you for sure wouldn’t like mmdiy either, because sadly i think this series has all the flaws GAP had but magnified 10 times: the main pairing keeps running around in circle about the same misunderstandings over and over again, the miscommunication goes through the roof, the relationship is very unbalanced, there are way too many characters who are there just for the drama and aren’t given enough space or depth (people saying we only got crumbs for chainpun in we are, well, let me tell you….. it can be worse ;;;;;;;), the pacing is a mess, and im sure im forgetting something else too. there could have been one saving grace in my marvellous dream is you (the fantasy element), but even that was neither explored nor narratively used at all

what i think it’s interesting is that both series were adapted by novels from the same author, so i do wonder which of those issues are due to the original material and which ones are due to idolfactory itself, because while an adaptation can definitely try to fix certain things, it also depends on how much artistic license they can actually take (this is why im very curious to see how GMMTV is gonna adapt pluto and us, since they’re also stories from that author)

as for the loyal pin, i haven’t been able to start it yet (petition to get an extra day in the week just to watch my shows), however im really looking forward to finally be able to, because this time the original novel is from a different author, so im hoping it won’t have the same issues when it comes to the plot and the characters

so yeah, i do think that there are some stylistic choices that are very typical of idolfactory that they should probably revisit (for example, having a big cast and pretty long episodes), but when it comes to GL specifically maybe they just didn’t pick the best material (or the right one for them as a company), so i hope the loyal pin is gonna be their turning point and that future projects will get better and better!!!!!

[brinnanza]

You know that episode of mash where hawkeye and bj bat puns back and forth in the OR while they're cleaning like "get along, little doggie!" "I had a long little doggie once" "Oh, a little hot dog!" "I relish these conversations" etc yeah that's an average day in my house. today for example, I fished out some rum that's been in my trunk since my friend got married like three years ago and joe was like, make sure it's still rum and not idk bad tasting water. so I opened the bottle to sniff as I was putting it away, and I yelled, "IT'S RUM, DOG." from the other room joe shot back, "what's rum dog???" and without missing a beat I said "NOTHIN WHAT'S THE MOTTO WITH YOU"

[mechahero]

//lambda post

[emelinstriker]

my genshin brain be like

just had a lowkey inner panic attack cuz first time i got the message of "login attempts exceeded. account frozen for 20 minutes." in genshin fdghfnghfdnhfdgdfgdf

like- it ain't my acc, it's my friend's acc cuz they asked me to help work on their new fontaine characters since they don't get to play much- at least the 20 min frozen acc thing doesn't exactly do much since my friend won't login today again anyway fhgnfhgnhfg

but they most likely changed their pw for like the 2nd time since i've started helpin them a couple months back and apparently didn't tell me again istg-

but like they literally asked me to help with their newest chars just today a few hours ago i-

sent them a screenie of the message and am now waiting, but will probs have to wait till tmrw, which is fine, but i was planning on lettin another friend yoink some beetles for her wriothesley while i continue gettin the desert to 100% fhgnfhghfg

[t-lostinworlds]

i really really reaaaaallly want to post this fic today. but it’s gotten so out of hand and i don’t think i have the mental capacity to reread 15k words over and over in a span of a few hours. SO. will u guys be up for a non proofread fic? ALSKALSKALKAS 

[robyn-goodfellowe]

if i start posting strings of numbers or letters that aren't clearly letterposting or ominous tags that start with / before august you guys have to take me out back and put me down like a lame horse. i'm serious

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

I was kind of wondering what you thought of Duncan/Beatrice? idk been thinking of Duncan's previous relationship with the other nerds and Dan back when he was a nerd lately

hi dear!!

unfortunately, i actually tend to think of beatrice as a freshman, while duncan dropped out last year (he would be a junior now). so i figure they didn't really manage to meet

but, let's imagine for a second!! that, for some reason- perhaps through zoe?- the nerds manage to get back the contacts with duncan.

i think it would be really cute?? like, on one side there's beatrice; she thinks of herself as insecure, but she's so aware of her own worth!! she's terribly anxious and the interactions with the other students are so bad for her, but she is so self-aware and is confident about her knowledge. what she needs is to be shown how much she can shine as a person, and she doesn't always sees in herself the strength to keep going forward, towards her dreams.

on the other hand, duncan is insecure, his confidence constantly faltering, but he's learnt to... lay back, to let things happen as they do. he's learnt what he can do to deal with the situation at hand; he can't change the past, nor would he go back to school (at least, not high school), but he's still got this dim passion inside him. just that this passion has ruined him in the past, so i figure he'd be almost scared to act on it, hiding it away inside.

if they met i think they would be able to give so much to each other actually. beatrice would remind duncan how much he loved all of this, show him that he doesn't need to lock it away to be safe, that he has now found someone to share it with. and duncan would show beatrice how much she's worth, let her realize that she's so much stronger than she thought, and that if that's her passion? a bit of fear won't stop her ever.

also yeah duncan would love the g&g game nights. he misses his friends so much alright. and they miss him a lot too. melvin wants a hug from him

[flamestar126]

I don't know what im doing. This is the first weekend in a long time where I just don't know what to do with myself. I really dont get enough free time to do stuff actually for me anymore. Im usually doing or creating things for someone else and like right now. I love making them but

i dont wanna do anything but there's people waiting and deadlines to meet and preparing so im not completely stressed later. I havent wanted to do anything in a long time. Like draw or talk. My brain has been so foggy since the start of the year.

I genuinely cant think of my usual funny comments or ideas. I wanna be fun but my head is so empty most of the time i cant even think to respond cuz brain fog is so bad. I wanna do nothing and say nothing.

[blackjackkent]

The dwarves we rescued are very enthusiastic about the new fight against their enslavers.

Hell yeah. Let's go get his ass.

A few rooms up, we find a crowd of Shar soldiers, a mage casting some sort of spell...and a man - tall and grey-haired, with blood-red robes and a piercing, cruel gaze - that Caden would recognize anywhere.

He surges forward, and as he does, the soldiers close ranks around Alorgoth, weapons drawn. The man himself seems utterly unfazed, even bored, as if more irritated by the interruption Rasaad poses than concerned by his threat.

He barks out an order to the mage, waving one hand dismissively, and his voice resonates weirdly in the crystal-filled cavern.

Excuse me, what?

But he's gone - disappeared through the portal, and in his place tens, then hundreds of shadowy forms begin to pour out, all gibbering with rage and undirected violence.

At first Caden draws his sword as if to defend them - but it is obvious almost from the start that the battle is hopeless. There is only one choice.

"Through the portal!" he shouts above the sudden din. "Go!"

A blind, desperate run, shouldering through the creatures, side by side-- they reach the strange, undulating circle of light and throw themselves forward through it and fall...fall into a world of neverending shadow.

[hiding-in-my-blanket-fort]

Soap is THE BEST at healing any social trauma you might have.

He adopts you instantly and he's not shy about it. Slinging an arm around your shoulders as if you've been best friends forever. Sitting next to you and leaning back against you with a big yawn. "What a day, eh?"

Maybe physical contact is a mystery to you because you just...haven't experienced much of it before. With Soap, he acts like it's as easy as breathing.

When you enter the cafeteria, or meet up for lunch, he raises his arm and shouts, "Get over here. Saved a seat for ya."

Steals your fries/chips. Partly because he's a pain in the ass and it's his weird way of showing his affection. Partly because he's challenging you to play along with some friendly banter.

"Are ya just gonna let me rob ya blind without sayin' a word about it? Come on. Let out that mean streak. I know you've got it in ya."

Eventually, you become so comfortable with each other, that when Soap tries to steal a fry/chip, you elbow him away. He elbows back. And it becomes a shoving match (you will lose).

In group settings, Soap has a tendency to get caught up in the moment. He's an adrenaline junkie so he'll get a social buzz pretty quick. But he won't let you get lost in the mayhem. He bounces back to check in with you, or pulls you into the fray (if you're up for it).

Hypes. you. the fuck. up. Oh my god. This man is so damn proud of you just for existing????

Even when it confuses you and you're like, "I'm really not all that."

Doesn't matter. Soap is proud of you for being you.

If you have a personal challenge that other people have deemed "small" or "irrelevant", i.e. anxiety around ordering food for yourself, Soap recognizes the effort it costs you, and he celebrates with you when you conquer it.

Say goodbye to your personal space. Soap doesn't know the meaning of that term.

Big enthusiastic bear hugs that make your ribs creak and your toes lift off the ground.

On movie nights, he flops down onto the couch practically on top of you, pressed shoulder to shoulder, and flicks popcorn at you.

Makes a little smiley face on your knee out of M&Ms or Skittles.

When you have plans for the day, he's an obnoxiously early riser. So he'll just barge into your living space, annoyingly cheerful. If you don't respond quickly enough, he'll pummel you with a pillow until you get up.

He talks over you and interrupts, but it's because of his ADHD brain kicking into overdrive, not because he's ignoring you. Sometimes he'll catch himself doing it and curses himself for not letting you get a word in edgewise.

When you get really comfortable with each other, just punch his arm and tell him to shut the fuck up, I was talking, dumbass.

Sometimes, Soap runs his mouth. And he says shit without thinking it through. It hurts you, even though you know he didn't mean it.

But he's a really good friend, and you don't want to mess up your friendship by saying anything. So you just get really quiet and try to cope with it on your own.

Soap doesn't always notice that something is off at first. When he catches on that you've been out of sorts, he pulls you aside and he's genuinely serious when he asks what's wrong.

You expect him to laugh it off when you explain that he hurt you. Soap is rarely serious around you, right? But he's instantly apologetic and it kinda throws you for a loop because he's not joking around like he usually is???

He tries to make it up to you, typically through food, or letting you win at your favorite game. Anything to lighten the mood and get things back to normal between the two of you.

Then he'll ask, "Are we good?" with the most earnest look. It knocks the breath out of you because you're a traumatized little bean. People don't usually take your feelings into consideration like this.

If someone in the group makes a joke at your expense, Soap has zero problem calling out that shit. He'll tease you, but he won't tolerate anyone putting you down.

Because Soap is so friendly, you really have to TELL HIM that you don't feel like coming out of your shell sometimes. He wants to see you thrive, to show you off, and get everyone else to see how awesome he fully believes you are.

But there are times when you're just not up for it.

Soap is more than happy to accommodate you though. If all you want to do is stay in and watch movies, he'll build you a gigantic blanket nest or a big blanket fort, with plenty of snacks, and settle in for the night.

Masterlist

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Something Wicked This Way Comes AU Skits:

A government agent: Would you like to join our team of highly trained and special indivi-

Reader: F*ck off

Government agent: I really think you'd like this program of ours-

Reader: I said f*ck off

Government agent: But you haven't even heard of what you'd get-

Reader: I'd get brainwashed and set on your personal enemies like a dog, believe me, we know the shtick, now f*ck off! I'm drinking my beer!

Reader: is nursing on a root beer

Government agent: knocks the drink out of Reader's hands

Reader: ...

Reader: You little f*ckin' @&>/ !!!! tackles them, biting and scratching, then kicks them out of the soda shop

Reader, answering why they haven't sought out their old "pals", Wolverine and Sabretooth: Well, would YOU try to seek out someone who you haven't had a decent conversation with since the early 1900s who then stabbed you in the guts after his brain got scrambled, or seek out the guy who got so fried in the noggin he tossed ya off a freakin' cliff after beating you to a bloody pulp? No? Well, that's what I thought!

The X-Teens: What the h*ll??!!😨😰

The Brotherhood: That's b*dass!!!🤩😍

The adults: Who did you say you were, again, Mx. Reader? 🧐🤨

Wolverine: I tore their guts out? Poor kid... Hmmm... something still isn't adding up...

Sabretooth: Eh, I toss a lot of people off a cliffs... and turn a lot of people into bloody pulp. Good on them for surviving! Except they seem too familiar to be just a random hit...

Reader: sweating bullets Um... I'm... leaving, right now! runs off, disappearing into the streets

Everyone: ... Okay, we need them as our new member-

Reader, seeing the X-Teens broke into their house and took something: Oh you little...

Reader: JAMES LOGAN CREED HOWLETT!!! GET YOUR F*CKIN *SS DOWN HERE TO FIX YOUR BRATS' MESS, OR SO HELP ME I WILL DRAG YOU BACK HERE BY YOUR F*CKIN' EAR!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!

Logan: Who the h*ll is screaming at 1:00am in the morning?!

Logan: spots his kids sneaking into the mansion carrying an old and stained box

Logan: Kids. What. Did. You. Do.

The X-Teens: ... Um... we, um... maybestolesomethingfromReader!! But we had to! They're not telling us something, and we think it's important!

Logan: Well, it looks like you're all returning it, unless you want to be in the Danger Room for the next five hours 😡

The X-Teens: Please, just a peek! 🥺

Logan: ... Ugh, fine, just one look. Then we're gettin' in the car and returning it, you hear me?

The X-Teens and Logan, looking into the box: 😶

The box: full of video tapes, recorders, old papers and journals, and different rocks and fossils and old heirloom jewelry

Logan: Okay, fine, you take one thing, something that would be hard to miss-

Kitty: Done! grabbed an old recorder

Logan: I'll hold onto that, since you kids got us into this mess

Later-

Logan, listening to one of the many recordings in shock: It's been nearly two centuries, but I still miss James and Victor, even if they were both quite brash at times... Boys, right? ... Ha... I think Jimmy is called "Logan" nowadays... I think I should leave him be; he seems happy with his friends, he doesn't need me anymore... I suppose Victor doesn't need me, either... I guess it's hard to miss someone that they can't remember... well, I think that perhaps this summer I'll be able to finally pass-

Logan: pauses the old recording

Logan: ... I need to find them, NOW-

[thewritetofreespeech]

Tressym can be Fickle

WORDS: 692 RATING: G PAIRING: Gale x Tav SUMMARY: based on a very real arguement between my husband & I on who our cat likes more.

It had been a long, arduous, grueling day at the academy.

Though Gale loved his new role as a professor and educator, teaching the young minds of witches & wizards all across Faerun to harness their magic, induction week was the worst. He felt his life was in less peril fighting the Elder Brain or any of their other enemies & cohorts along the Sword Coast than he was now. Testing the new inductees to file them accordingly to their skill. ‘Skill’ being a very loose word tossed around this week.

He returned home that evening with a heavy sigh through the door, an even heavier thud of his satchel filled with books, and a desperate need to be tended to by his spouse. The whole day had been about soothing the egos, feelings, and on occasion literal wounds of new students that Gale thought he deserved some tending to now.

“Tav?” He called out as he put his cloak away. Usually, they greeted him at the door. Or at least acknowledged him when he came home. Curious, Gale walked through the house to try and find them. His search not long as he came upon Tav in the living room. On the couch by a low fire, with Tara on their lap. “Well….don’t you two look cozy.”

“Hmm, we rather are Mr. Dekarios.” Tara agreed. “Or at least we were, until someone started shouting.”

“Apologies for shouting in my own house.” Gale snipped at Tara. Taking his own plush armchair across from them. “Since when did you become a lap cat? And, before you get too ruffled under the feathers, it’s a figure of speech.”

Tara hummed. Seeming to debate about not letting it go but was perhaps indeed to comfortable to make a fuss. “Very recently I suppose. I never had an interest until now.” The tressym purred with her eyes closed as she tilted her head up towards Tav and her head scratches.

“You never took an interest with me.” Gale said with a deep frown.

“You do not have nails, Mr. Dekarios.”

The wizard growled and stood up. Unable to watch his dearest friend and lover betray him like this in front of his own eyes. It was still early for dinner but he stalked off towards the kitchen to focus his frustrations on what to eat.

A few moments later, Tav came in. Looking confused on why he was so upset. “Sorry.” He apologized quickly. “It’s just been a long day. And I am glad that you and Tara are getting along now. Guess I’m being….overly sensitive at being shut out. Tressym can be fickle, but I’ve never known Tara to change her mind about anyone. Again, not that I’m not pleased you two are getting along. I just never thought I would suddenly be second in her estimation.”

“Suddenly second? Please Mr. Dekarios.” The couple turned to see Tara trot in. Seeming interested in their conversation. “I wouldn’t say that you were suddenly second. Not given my high esteem of your mother. A better estimate is which one of you is second on the day, and who is third.”

“Really Tara? Kick a man while he’s down??”

“But, I’m a reasonable creature. Perhaps my estimations can be over swayed. Perhaps with a bit of chicken? Fried pigeons if you have any?”

“So a creature of reason but not honor, eh?” Gale stated, with a wave of his hand as if he wish to brush away this whole conversation.

Before he could leave, Tav wrapped their arms around his waist. Pulling him close. The smell of their hair in his nose. Something like ‘you’ll always be number 1 to me’ muffled into his chest, which causes him to smile and hold them back.

They tell Gale to go upstairs and relax. Take a bath if he liked, while they made dinner. That sounded heavenly, so he did just that.

When he came back down, he was not amused by the roast chicken on his plate. Nor the grinning little tressym in the corner, licking her chops like she’d just swallowed a canary. Or, perhaps, her bribery chicken.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

cursed hours, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You know what your boyfriend is? That's right – horny. (Can relate.) And, you know what, you are too. Jeon Jungkook is super mega ultra hot. (Facts.) But. Even you don't fuck doing cursed hours. You try to delicately explain to your love that there are, in fact, suboptimal times to be asking for banging. (This conversation ends exactly in the way that everyone is predicting.)

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; playful banter and shitty jokes; in which Jungkook tries to listen to your grievance but then he remembers what you look like naked and then the Calvin Klein's fly off; crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, ball torture JK is a freak, m-receiving oral, handjob, edging, penetrative sex (doggy), clitoral stimulation, m-masturbation); squabbling tbh; non-idol!BTS - short black-haired!JK with his two lip rings; the parenthesis are the reader’s inner thoughts

crackhead best laid plans / counter point / well dressed couple no need to read the others, but they’re there if you want more happy birthday, Jungkook! XD

--

It was the middle of the day.

“We need to talk.”

Your boyfriend and absolute love of your life, Jean Jungkook, vehemently shook his head and puffed his cheeks. It was quite sad to see that all of his previously bleach-blond (read: extremely fried) long waves were gone, but his current shorter black hair made him look even younger (carding territory, for real). At least he got another lip ring next to his first one. Not really to make up for anything. Just because he felt like being your forever wet dream (he was, keke).

You cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“No talk.” He stuck his tongue out (the disrespect, hah). “Nothing good comes out of your girlfriend saying, we need to talk.”

You opened your mouth. Nothing came out (or in… yet). He had a point. He wasn’t going to like what you had to say. (Be strong!) You had to say it anyway.

“Jeon Jungkook, you can't wake me up at six in the morning with your rock-hard dick shoved against my ass cheeks and expect me to have enough brain function to cooperate.”

Big pout. The biggest pout with the biggest peepers.

“But... I'm horny.”

Irrefutable argument, surely. He was horny.

(Yeah, when are you not?)

You laid down the law with vigorous hand waving. “Two in the morning? Okay. Three? Eh, pushing it but I can sleep right after. But six? Six in the morning?! That is too much. That (that) is cursed hours. There’s no way I can go back to sleep then. Cursed. I’m not a morning person. You’re not a morning person. Why is you dick awake?”

Big shrug. (Big dick too, wait, what?) “He’s an all-day person,” he nodded sagely. “Your tits and butt are right there. What can I do?”

Your eyes twitched.

“You’re the one who wants me to sleep in panties!”

Your boyfriend shook his head primly (and childishly and one-hundred percent like a freaking annoying little shit). “No,” Jungkook clarified. Very serious. Too serious. “I want you to sleep naked. You’re the one being unreasonable.”

You gasped dramatically. “I’m not waking up with jizz all over me… again!”

“Hence the compromise! That’s why I wake you up first… and then jizz all over you!”

This conversation would be a lot more (ahem) concerning if Jungkook wasn’t grinning like a madman and you weren’t clutching your non-existent pearls in a state of fabricated shock (although you would have pearls if he jizzed all over your neck right now, eh, eh, okay, never mind), anyway, you knew damn well that Jungkook would probably stop for, mmmm, a couple weeks, then promptly forget this conversation, and inevitably wake you up way too early to hump your sleepy ass (literally).

You weren’t with him because he listened (we can see that).

“I am just saying,” you lowered your tone, still lighthearted but somewhat stern now. “If you want me to be receptive and not grumpy, six in the morning is not the time. You can rub yourself all over me if you want but it’s very unlikely that I will be in the mood. I don’t want to get mad to you. That’s why I’m telling you now.”

Jungkook firmly nodded. Ah, he understood! Finally. He raised his rigid hand against his temple in salute.

“Okay. From now on, I’ll hump you to completion instead.”

You gave him a blank stare of utter disbelief.

That playful grin with those gleaming lip rings bounced forward and tackled you onto the bed as you continued gawking at him, shell-shocked. Really? (Really, dude?) But you could tell he was apologetic, showering your neck and cheeks with kisses, saying between blossoming laughter, “Sorry, sorry, you just look so cute when you’re mad,” and you were trying to stay mad. The principle of it all. Hmph! “I’m mad!” You vocalized with a huff. Maybe if you said it, you would mean it. (You didn’t.) “Yep, you’re definitely mad, so mad…!” This idiot was repeatedly mushing your cheeks with his big palms and deliberately piling on the aegyo. You squinted your eyes into lines. “Stop messing with my cheeks!” “Don’t wanna!”

You chopped his head.

“Yah!”

Your idiot – cough, sorry, boyfriend, love of your life, darling, all that fluff stuff – made a fake dying noise but you didn’t catch on to his admission of defeat (couldn’t trust it anyway, this was Jeon Jungkook), and grabbed his wrist, pinning it down onto the bed and getting right up in his face, planting your palm his broad chest and shoving him (which did approximately nothing, you really do need to work out).

“I’m being serious here. I’m telling you something that would piss me off and you hate it when I’m mad at you so I’m warning you in advance. I’m working on myself too, but sunrise is really pushing it,” you emphasized, practically sitting in his lap now, your (his) big white t-shirt spilling over his bare thighs. Nobody wore pants in this household. Jungkook could barely keep his underwear on (foreshadowing). “I didn’t want to get mad at you this morning out of nowhere, but you’re not good at taking the hint.”

Those glittering chocolate eyes softened. “Oh. I’m sorry. I get excited…”

“And you can get excited,” you sighed, letting go of his wrist and patting the top of his head. “I only want you to be aware of how I’m feeling at that time and it’s a whole lot of why do humans have to sleep, waking up sucks ass. Not good for horny.”

Damn, these big rueful peepers were going to be the death of you. “You know me. I like being with you more than anything in the world. I don’t like being without you. Even sleeping is such a pain,” Jungkook finished with a puff.

You smacked his (very firm) chest. “I’m not telling you leave me alone. Just don’t ask me to fuck, because the answer is most likely going to be no at that time of day. Wait for me to wake up, at least!”

“But…!”

He grabbed the front of your (his) shirt and you tensed, thinking he was about to shake you, adjusting to be a bit more stable on his legs and then your shin slid to the front of his crotch and both of you abruptly fell silent (a shocking moment in this household).

“Jungkook.”

He was trying very hard not to grin but you could see it in those dark brown orbs.

“Yeah?”

He really was your favorite person. Really. He had an intense, passionate outlook on life. Tried hard at everything and made a fuss when certain things didn’t work out as he planned. Slowly learned to let things go but still picked up too many interests. Still thought he could do anything (and you believed with him, so maybe you were both the problem). Jungkook always told you he was grateful that you were so into about the things you liked (read: obsessive), because he made him feel less weird, made him feel that someone could match his energy, made him feel like he finally met his person, someone loved to live life as much as he did.

Romantic, yeah?

“Why is your dick hard?” you accused.

Your (lovable but idiot) boyfriend grinned. “Just remembering what you look like naked.”

Really romantic.

Yeah.

“Oh?”

You backed off his lap and forced his legs open.

“W-W-Wait–”

Which was how you ended up yoinking off Jungkook’s Calvin Klein's (with force and a tangle of legs and maybe a yelp if you bothered to listen), and did not take off your shirt as you got to your knees and curled your tongue around his already-hard-and-getting-harder cock. Sure, he was saying stuff (blah blah that’s not fair blah, the usual), but you cared not. Zero fucks given. Hey, if Jungkook was going to be all horny on you whenever he felt like it, you were going to give it to him whenever you felt like it too. He needed to be punished for being insufferable!

(Never mind that this has been going on for years.)

“Come on, take off your… oooh, fuck…”

(Your predictable arguments ended in predictable ways.)

You spared no expense. Tongue all over his length. Dripping saliva. Porn-star-esque, complete with the slurping it all back up and jamming the head of that throbbing cock into the back of your throat, squishing it against the pocket of saliva. Nasty. Yo, you didn’t have sex to be elegant. You had sex to watch Jungkook’s torso shudder uncontrollably and hear him whine in the middle of him yanking off his oversized black t-shirt, his head of crazy messy black hair popping out. You watched as he emerged like a just-saved, half-drowned vacationer and then his eyes rolled back like he had been knocked out, all while you bounced your head up and down, running your tongue along the base and his balls, making sure to be extra soft at the tip and caress the slit with the gentlest of kisses. Not enough to pressure to really get him off, but so much pleasure, lovingly swirling your tongue around and pressing your lips against the sensitive skin.

Then you did what any reasonable person would do (heh) and replaced your soothing mouth with your punishing grip, pumping him roughly.

“Gah!”

Your tongue circled around his balls and both slid into your mouth, sucking on them as you jacked him off. Any intelligent response was immediately annihilated by the gargling moan Jungkook choked out, falling back to his hands. Mmmm, those arms. The tension was making his muscles bulge, the dark colorful tattoos on his right arm gleaming in the bedroom light, his left just as shapely and defined. You switched between each side, sucking and licking and toying with his balls while your hand built up a furious pace, grinning as you felt his length twitch and throb. Glassy, dark brown orbs glanced down to watch, the ends of his black hair stuck to his cheeks, mouth open, pink lips glossy.

The look in those eyes.

So needy.

You delicately trapped one of his balls between your teeth and sucked hard before pulling your lips back and grinning. The reaction was immediate. The shiver visible, the hitched breath sharp, the tremble lingering at his shoulders, exasperation and desire flashing over his expression. Jungkook pleaded with you, knowing full well he didn’t want you to listen to a single word he was saying.

“N-No, please, d-don’t make me a f-freak…”

(Not sure how to tell you this, Jungkook, but you’ve been a freak since day one.)

“You like it,” you replied (with his nut in your mouth, smacking it with your tongue as you spoke). “Don’t lie to me.”

“No, I like it when you’re nice,” Jungkook stressed and he was very stressed because your hand was slowing down and that was not a good sign.

“Oh, yeah?” you taunted. Totally unnecessary but totally necessary. You let go of his cock and switched balls, squeezing the other saliva-covered one in a slippery, punishing grip that make Jungkook yelp with an edge of panic.

His cock jolted, sticking straight up.

You gave him the look of see what I see?

Jungkook sputtered, frantically waving his hand about. “N-No! It’s not what it looks like!”

(It’s not… it’s not what it looks like? What does it look like then, huh?!)

You raked your teeth over his balls and started sucking and tugging on them.

His right hand instantly flew to his dick (bombastic side-eye) and he started desperately jacking himself off as you used precise pressure and tongue to tease him. He was loudly moaning in reckless abandon, “H-Harder, yeah, like that, oooh, fuck, yes, don’t stop, don’t fucking stop” (criminally offensive side-eye), but you obeyed, gripping the inside of his thigh and ravishing his balls. You could barely see from your peripheral vision but you could certainly feel the force of Jungkook’s firm, tight grip around his stiff length.

Damn.

Your panties were also getting uncomfortably drenched.

Suddenly his hand froze up, his whole arm shaking. You glanced up. White teeth biting the left edge of his lower lip, lashes fluttering, jaw clenched. Muffled scream in his throat. The line from his neck to torso to abs to crotch to tattooed hand choking his hard cock was incredibly hot. Even hotter was how dark the head was becoming, angry purple-red and beading pearly translucent pre-cum.

“Fuck, I almost came, fuck…”

(Was that not the goal or are we missing something here?)

You spoke sloppily with his nut halfway in your mouth.

“Thought you were going to jizz all over me.”

His dark brows furrowed, gasping for breath, trembling all over. “You know I would ask you first, I’m not a big meanie,” Jungkook pouted, opening his eyes when you knocked away his hand, then his peepers popping open wide as you picked up his vicious pace with a smirk, lowering your shoulder to squeeze his balls at the same time (zero chill here). It could have been your name somewhere in that strangled moan. Could have, but it wasn’t that discernable and you were unbothered, even as his hands flew up and grabbed your (his) shirt, practically ripping it off in frustration.

“Please, ack, please…!”

You stopped.

Jungkook nearly yelled bloody murder and snatched you by the waist, lifting you far too easily. He was two beats away from suplex-ing you onto the bed if it wasn’t for the horny beating out his frustration of being edged for the second? third? whatever time. You were almost worried (not really), but everything worked out (kind of). There were always condoms on the nightstand (for reasons) and it took Jungkook record time to rip one open and slide it on before forcefully grabbing your ass (you had been trying to move away for… reasons) and dragging you back to him from a growl, flipping the bottom of your (his) shirt up.

Somehow, in the tangle of legs and arms, you had managed to slip off your panties and put them on the other nightstand so Jungkook wouldn’t rip them off your body.

(It has happened before.)

At the sight of your naked and wet pussy, Jungkook forgot how to be mad.

“Oh!”

You looked back to see a pair of shining, starry-eyed dark brown orbs.

“You really do love me.”

You blinked at him (what do you say to that?). “Y… Yeah? Woah!”

Turned out horny also beats out romance (?) and now Jungkook was balls deep and you were gasping and beating up the pillows in attempt to get your bearings because, holy fuck, he was insanely hard (scientific term). Your lower torso dropped and you both moaned in unison, satisfaction from the sudden depth, the ache perfectly fulfilled at this angle. Thrust in, push back, overwhelming rush heating up your chest and down your legs, beginning right where you both left off.

Rough, fast, and deep.

Your (and probably his) knees were really feeling it. You didn’t care. (Classic.) The fullness was unbearable and addictive and it made your walls spasm, squeezing around him as your eyelids fluttered, skin prickling hot and heartbeat leaping to your throat. The wave swelled in your chest and pooled down, amplifying the sensation of slapping hips, pitching your moan, you fucking him and him fucking you, a joint effort, the grip on your hips tightening, fuck, he was so strong, not slowing down even in the middle of your orgasm, your mind fizzling to white noise.

And then.

You suddenly realized it was weirdly silent behind you.

You tried not to snort in laughter (being nice, of course) as you realized Jungkook was whining behind his bitten lip, trying desperately not to cum in your crushing fervor. Not that you were going to let up. Absolutely not. In fact, you moaned breathily and reached back with one hand, tugging on the flapping shirt and pulling it over your head, bunching it up. Heard him gasp, but now your hair was all over your face (didn’t think that through, did you). There was no time to correct. You shoved the ball of fabric under your chin and dropped your shoulders, ramming back into his crotch with a wet smack, a vicious bolt of painful pleasure flaring up your inner thighs and spreading over your lungs, knocking the wind out of you.

“Ah, Jungkook!”

Didn’t think that through, did you?

You nearly choked on your own moan (and a mouthful of your own hair), entire body shaking from the force of orgasm bursting within, your inner walls clamping down and hips flinching, carnal pulse radiating throughout your core, breathless, lust-blindness, your ass jerking forward from another powerful thrust, and then Jungkook made a series of noises that could only be described as unholy.

(Wanton moaning, spitting swears, using various higher entities’ names in vain, things like that.)

You basically faceplanted into the t-shirt, vibrating from the high.

Down for the count.

But not out.

You reached back and wrapped your fingers around Jungkook’s balls, firmly squeezing.

He let out a quivering groan of approval, long fingers on your hips tightening, pressing his twitching cock inside you. No intention of leaving. The tension was so electric that you could feel the sparks flying up your belly (or was that your arm falling asleep from this unnatural position, who knows) and you sucked in a ragged breath, not sure what was coming over you but it was so unbelievably arousing that all you could do was smile.

Well.

You couldn’t really breathe since you were mostly face-first into the mattress.

Thankfully, Jungkook had a brain (bless) and sighed contentedly, sliding his hot (read: scorching) hands up your sides and pulling your body up. You let go of his nuts, panting, feeling him slide out, drawing in a tight breath – his skin like fiiiiiiire (don’t sing it) – relaxing as you felt his fingers fan out over your breasts.

This was nice.

He squeezed your breasts and toyed with your nipples, sending pleasing tingles all over.

“My back is getting sweaty,” you chuckled. “You’re burning up.”

“No, you’re hot.”

Whines (his) and a flop onto the bed later (you), and you ended up on your back, catching your breath while looking up at the ceiling. Ah, that was nice. You didn’t think too much about your limbs akimbo. There wasn’t any shame. After all, this was your home and this was your love. Attentive, caring, enthusiastic (about laundry and dishes and fucking especially) love of your life Jeon Jungkook who was definitely not a freak. Nope.

You felt a hand on your knee.

Then you felt your legs being dragged apart even wider.

The slapping sound of hand on dick.

Eh?

You turned your head to see Jungkook masturbating while staring at your pussy, used condom still on the bed. Oi! How was he still going? You were pretty sure he blasted out several nuts worth of cum (and the fullness of that used condom was the visible proof, oop).

“Hey. I’m still here,” you reminded him.

Heavy exhale and brief glance at your tits. “I know,” Jungkook shuddered, voice low and gravelly. “And you’re so fucking beautiful, fuck.”

“I’m not a porn video,” you joked, secretly enjoying how heatedly he was getting himself off to your sexy bits.

“You really need to make some for me,” he replied absentmindedly, reaching out to spread your pussy lips. You flexed them. They made a wet, lewd sound. Obscene. Jungkook moaned and tightened his grip, speeding up, running his finger over your exposed clit. “At least send nudes.”

“I’m physically next to you almost all the time,” you gasped. “Whachu need nudes for?”

This really wasn’t the time for a full-on conversation and soon you both forgot about it, lost in the haze of pleasure. Your eyes slid shut, arms fanned out over the bed, back arching, following that racing feeling. Basking in it. You were sure he was watching and you let him enjoy the show, spreading your legs and letting your hips be guided by his rough fingertip, clenching your jaw at the sensitivity. Almost too much was the perfect amount of pressure, rubbing over your throbbing nerves, aching tension dispersing over your muscles, nearly uncontrollable, so close to the edge, his name in a husky whisper, closer, listening to his breathing shallow, tighten, closer…

Your eyes opened, lids heavy, watching him though lashes and the haze of moans.

Jungkook was gazing back at you, up and down, lust-drunk on your body, his chest flexing, his black hair over his eyes, sweat beading along his temples, shuddering again at your eye contact.

“You… You fuck me up.”

You smiled and was about to say, you too, but then your pent-up orgasm shot up your torso and you hissed at the intensity, your hand flying down and harshly gripping his wrist. Head snapping back, spine arcing, mouth open to an airless moan, fighting to leave your lungs as the powerful continuous flinching overtook your hips, each pulse thundering against his fingertip, your juices seeping out.

Slick painted over your pussy lips clenching around nothing.

Jungkook sucked in his inhale and groaned, cupping his palm around the head of his cock. Heat and tremors and visible lust, the pleasure sinking, sinking, and you heard Jungkook whimper, looking down to see that his hand was turned, his long fingers digging into the soft dip of his balls and roughly massaging them as he came.

You watched.

Glanced up at his face.

Your boyfriend glared back.

“Don’t… say… anything…” he wheezed.

You did not listen.

(No one is surprised.)

“You’re a slutty freak, huh.”

“Oi!” he barked, yanking his hand away from you, and then his face contorted, instantly regretting vacating your pussy. You peeled open your puffy lower lips with two fingers and wiggled your tongue at him. “Hey! Stop that. I’ll–”

Faster than light (and smoother than butter), you shot off the bed as Jungkook threatened you with his cum-covered hand. “I don’t think so!” All these years with Jeon Jungkook and he still looked shocked when you knew exactly what he was thinking. “Get back here!” You did not. You ran to the bathroom instead and proceeded to fight on opposite sides of the door as he tried to get in and you tried to lock it.

“Why are you only strong at times like this?” Jungkook whined as you threw your weight into the door and locked him (and his cum hand) out. “Let me in!”

“No! Not until you wash your hand in the kitchen.”

“I promise not to wipe it on you.”

“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. Which is not very far.”

“You should!”

“Throw you?”

The whine on the other side pitched. “Open the door…”

You sighed. (Uh oh.) Opened the door. (Duck!) And smacked Jungkook’s wrist as he tried to wipe his dried cum onto you in a bout of maniacal laughter. (You punk!) Naked wrestling match (nice) and some neck chopping infused minutes later, you managed to shove Jungkook’s right hand under the sink faucet and blast water over it, fiercely gripping (and very much enjoying) his forearm to prevent him from being a brat.

And he was laughing, the bubbly sound drifting between you and him, laughing with his left arm around your waist and his face in the crook of your shoulder and neck, his warm breath tickling your skin, pulling your close as you vainly tried to avoid his sweat (failing spectacularly). Asshat.

He sighed, breathless and shivery, nuzzling your jaw with his (big) nose.

“I love you.”

He was a freaking annoying brat but he was your freaking annoying brat and, to be honest, you loved it.

“I love you too. If you splash water on me, I will waterboard you next time we shower together.”

Jungkook pouted and squeezed your boobs with his left hand. Now that was talent.

“Aw, how’d you know…”

You turned the water off.

“Stop playing with my tits.”

“My nutties are sore. It’s the least you can do.”

“You did that to yourself.”

“Nu uh. I’m wholesome.”

(The lie detector test determined that was a lie.)

-

in which Jungkook's dick -accidentally- slips and falls into your mouth when you're asleep (oh no) night sucker

--

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