#eh maybe eventually if people chill or something
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cat-of-starlight · 9 months ago
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Also unrelated but-
Inside me there are Two Wolves-
One wants to post about one of my more ""controversial"" hyperfixations because fuck it its my blog I do what I want
The other fears "No, you dipshit- You wanna make Cool Games™ eventually and you know damn well that some freaks will use "she likes x terrible thing so she sucks lmao" as a reason to hate your game- DON'T POST SHIT"
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the-bi-writer-blog · 2 months ago
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I’m 38 now and here are some (mostly positive) things that have surprised me about aging:
When it comes to appearance and comparing myself to other people, I’ve gotten WAY more chill about it, even though I’ve got smile lines and a few small streaks of grey.
You know how, when you visit your old high school/middle school a few years after graduating, and all you can’t think is “WOW were we ever this young?? I thought we were So Grown Up at that age, but damn they’re just babies!”
So it’s like that. The way you feel about middle schoolers when you’re in high school, or high schoolers when you’re in college - they look like fresh faced babies and you wonder why you didn’t see it before.
So that’s the first thing: age-related appearance.
How I thought it would go: wow old people are all ugly and gross, I hope I never look like that
How it actually is: I love seeing laughter lines on my friend’s faces, because I can see echoes of the jokes we shared. I love their worry lines too, since they’re proof of what we’ve survived together.
And when it comes to my own face?
It’s just my face.
I’m WAY more neutral about it than I used to be. I used to see a checklist of things I wanted to change about myself, every time I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror.
Now? I’m honestly too tired and too busy to care about something that matters so little in the long run, and I’d rather use my headspace for something else that actually matters.
(And like, ofc I’m still insecure about parts of my appearance, I’m human. but it just feels SO much less pressing now than it did when I was younger.)
Eventually you really do just look in the mirror, shrug, and say, “Eh, could be worse.” And then you carry on spending time with your loved ones and hobbies, in the home you’ve made.
Also back to comparing my appearance to the appearances of those younger than me: I expected to just feel less and less sexy as I got older, and kind of assumed that maybe older people just kind of grin and bear it if they have sex at all (lol)
But the reality is - I don’t think I look “old,” per se. I just think that everyone else looks impossibly young 🤣
Looking at college kids now gives me that same feeling of seeing middle schoolers when you’re in high school. You’re just kind of like, “Why are these humans so underbaked” 😂😂
Idk. That started out one way and turned into a ramble, but I’ve been thinking a lot about appearance lately, as I begin planning the first steps of my own transition (YAY.) And I’ve been reflecting on how many insecurities really have faded over the years.
It will be the work of a lifetime to accept myself fully, of course. But I feel SO much more calm, centered and peaceful than I ever have before, and it’s been a really lovely surprise.
Tl;dr what they don’t tell you about aging is that it’s Fine, Actually, and you will feel SO much less insecure, I promise you. You’ll let others expectations roll off your back, and stop doing things to make other people happy.
And you’ll start the long (and wonderful) lifelong process of learning to make a home in yourself, for yourself ❤️
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onboardsorasora · 9 months ago
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'I dunno what this is' - my usual trope lmao but I'm just happy to have written something. this week was great emotionally but also exhausting and a drag so this may not be the greatest but I'm happy about it. As always, idk where this is going or if its even going anywhere. also as always, I haven't read it over lol we are working with vibes over here. I had this idea last night so theres that at least
Lewis stares at the guy who is supposed to be replacing Seb for the summer break, while he goes off on a well needed family vacation. Originally Lewis hadn’t needed a supplemental security guy, but then he’d started getting an increased amount of hate mail again ever since he eclipsed Max and Charles to be P1 in the championship standings again.
It was a great feeling, being P1. Even if the trade off sometimes meant that people took out their pitchforks.
Either way, he didn’t think this new guy would make the cut. He was cute, but he needed more than a pretty face to keep him safe. Didn’t matter if he came by Seb's personal request.
He was cute in a douchey Italian way, with his grown in facial hair and kinda wild curls. Lewis watched him as Seb gave him the run down, he was listening attentively at least and nodding along. Finally they joined Lewis out on the terrace, Seb looking as stern as ever and the new guy looking chill as if they were here for lunch.
“Lewis, this is Daniel Ricciardo, the guy I told you about.” Seb introduced, Daniel leaned forward to shake Lewis’ hand with a smile. Lewis looked him up and down, trying to place the military training that Seb claimed they had together. He didn’t see it, but he trusted his guy.
“Enchante.” Daniel grinned.
“You look like you were out partying last night, man.” Lewis said with a grin. Daniel laughed and his face got maybe ten times prettier.
“Yeah nah that's just my face. I can't help my dashing his looks.” Daniel shrugged carelessly. “I've been told it's quite punchable but what can you do, eh?”
That startled a laugh out of Lewis which in turn made Daniel grin even more. Lewis wanted to amend his previous impression of him, he was dangerous.
“So Seb says you’ve had an uptick in threatening DMs?” Daniel’s face became more focused, brows drawn in. it was Lewis’ turn to be blaise.
“No more than usual.” Lewis shrugged, he saw Seb shift from his periphery and Daniel raised a brow. 
Daniel made a clicking sound with his tongue before turning to Seb. “Yeah, I’ll just stay, those kinda threats can go left pretty fast.” He was motioning with his hands and Lewis couldn’t stop looking at his fingers. His hands looked strong, steady. He had a tattoo on his wrist but his long sleeves prevented Lewis from seeing much else. 
“Ah, bet.” Seb was saying. “And Lew is vegan, like I told you. That won’t be a problem I assume?”
Lewis wanted to roll his eyes, as if he would force anyone to become vegan to work for him. Daniel grinned again and Lewis was drawn to his face.
“Oh yeah I'm cool with being vegan for the next month or so.” Then he laughed, a wild but fun sound, “I had a fried chicken burger this morning as a send off anyway.”
“For breakfast?” Lewis asked dubiously.
“For brekkie. With an oat milk latte.” Daniel crossed his heart as if he was attempting to be a boy scout. Lewis was horrified with himself to find out that it was endearing him to the unserious man.
“Alright perfect. Thanks man, you really are doing me a solid.” Seb looked relieved that Daniel seemed to have passed some test. Lewis hadn’t realized any of them were being tested, but he trusted that Seb knew what he was looking for.
“No sweat mate, call us even for Ibiza.” Daniel grinned a squinty eyed grin when Seb threw his head back and cackled. Lewis looked on confused but content to let it go, he would have more than enough time in the next few weeks to try to get information out of Daniel. Especially information about how Seb was when they were younger.
Daniel eventually left with a spare key, saying he would go pack a bag and be back in an hour. It was just Lewis and Seb.
“You sure about this guy?” Lewis asked, leaning against the kitchen counter and staring into his friend’s blue blue eyes.
“100% I trust him with my life. Just.. keep your regular schedule, he’ll blend in an you’ll forget he’s even here.” Seb shrugged, Lewis looked at him dubiously.
“Yeah fine. If you say so.” 
They walked to the door together, Seb would be heading back to Switzerland tonight. Seb looked at him assessing for a moment.
“Be truthful with me, if you’re uncomfortable with the situation we can figure something out.”
“No, Seb it’s fine. Go, have fun with Kimi and the kids. We’ll be fine here.” Lewis rolled his eyes.
“Fine fine. Sure sure. Just promise me something?”
“What’s that?”
Seb’s eyes became teasing. “Don’t fuck him, yeah?” Then he cackled all the way out the door, leaving Lewis stunned.
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scribble-dribble-writes · 2 years ago
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Loveless - (41)
<<<Prev Next>>>
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Pairing: Okoye and Attuma 💖
Word Count: 2300
Warnings: none
Spotify play "Miss Americana and the heartbreaker prince"
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Chapter 41
Okoye dove into the cold waters. The early morning light painting the horizon a bright orange as she cut through the waves. The chillness waking her up, she needed this swim, this moment to gather her thoughts. It wasn’t easy, to adapt to something new. She was getting on much better now but the reality that she was not a part of the Dora Milaje, worked its way through her thoughts once in a while that one brief thought about it was enough for her to loose her bearings. She submerged her head, exhaling through her nose for the bubbles to trickle down her neck.
The princess was almost set to take the king of Talokan to meet the world outside. It was the one place her trust in Kulkulkan didn't reassure her, because he too was entering unknown territory. She had to work through this build up of anxiety. To chant in her head that the Dora Milaje will be vigilant and they be will be brought back home safely.
She tilted her head, refilling the air in her lungs and continued pressing forward. Her hands like blades, her motion so precise wading through the water as though she was part machine. Her eyes closed tight, the water rushing past her ears silencing every thought, preventing her mind from derailing itself into overthinking about matters that were out of her control. As to how everytime she finally took a step back, something worse was imminent.
They were going to be fine.
A half truth.
Her right hand paddled forward.
You are more than your achievements.
A reminder.
Her left hand pushed back.
You are more than your failures
A reluctant proclamation.
She gasped for air.
She slowed her pace, coming to a stop as she caught her breath before turning around to move towards the shore. The sky was now lit up with a faint blue hue, almost as if the world around her was reminding her that darkness always birthed light. Just as so, her mind felt lighter and clearer much like the fresh crisp air she was breathing.
As she sat down on the warm gravel, she searched for him. This was their regular routine and he never skipped them. In fact on most days, he would be the one waiting for her. So it was unusual. That he didn’t show up today. Ever since W’Kabi was reprimanded for good and her friendship with Attuma grew into something she now had the freedom to explore, she cherished the fact that she finally had company to do most things she liked. Being a self sufficient individual, people always imagined her to be fine with being alone and on most occasions, she was. But when you spend too much time just by yourself, there are certain periods during which you miss having a friend.
Maybe he was busy. She thought as she dabbed the towel to dry herself. She will eventually bump into him in the market or for their sparring sessions later in the day. There was no need to worry about this.
“He hasn’t come by yet?”, she repeated the words of the vendor whose shop Attuma always lingered by to get food.
"No.", he responded as he placed marinated pieces of meat on the grill, it's sizzle making her rethink this odd coincidence.
“He is my favorite customer, look at all the business he’s brought in eh.”, the vendor beamed looking at the crowd that was beginning to form for his delicacies.
“He’s somehow everyone’s favorite.”, she mumbled as she adjusted her bag across her shoulder.
“I wouldn't worry, he will come around. Or maybe his classes with the kids must have already begun.”, the vendor spoke over his shoulder as he continued to set up his shop. The classes would only begin around noon and it wasn’t even half past ten now. She thanked the man before heading off towards the sparring pits.
There was a scarce group that had come to utilize the arena before it got filled with younger warriors. Most of them were Talokans, getting in their practice sessions before the weather grew too hot so that when the sun was out, they could rest by the relaxation pools.
“Have any of you seen Attuma come by?”, she asked only to receive shaking heads and shrugging shoulders as a response. Scouting the location for any familiar faces, she spotted two warriors to the side who didn’t quiet meet her eye. Suspicious. Keeping their heads down as they cleaned their weapons, she followed her instinct and walked closer towards them. Upon further inspection, their features were more recognizable. They were his friends, which made it more apparent as to why they were avoiding her. They must know something.
“He was last seen yesterday near our farming establishment.”, the man, wiping his spear let her know having overheard her questioning.
Okoye shifted her weight. He always returned to his underwater dwelling by the end of the day, he didn't feel comfortable sleeping on land yet.
So then why did he choose to stay?
She thanked the men for the information while making sure to ask them where he could have possibly retreated to and left in search of him.
Her boots sunk into the soggy mud, the ground had been freshly watered for the sake of tending to the plants that were growing all around. She never had a reason to visit this part of the city before but from what she saw, it was beautiful and calm. New bright green shoots from seedlings that had been planted a while ago stretched endlessly, the colour soothing her eyes as she navigated the terrain towards the huts and the settlement. The Talokans here had chosen to live in the safety of Wakanda's security to tend to the land and indulge in agricultural activities because the princess had sanctioned this plot of land specifically for that.
But as she moved deeper into the village, the thought that pestered her was that he had not come to her with whatever it was that was troubling him. He had chosen to hide away. Or what if she had been the reason for it? Maybe she drove him away because she had nothing left to offer. That now with the possibility to be together without any hindrances only caused him to become jittered.
Her mind swirling with a dozen reasons as to why he wouldn’t want to take their relationship to the next stage. Maybe the chase was all that was enticing to him. She trudged through the mud. Her footsteps landing much heavier than usual leaving behind distinct footsteps, the ground somehow wanting to swallow her whole. Her self worth had been broken and misplaced that now trying to tape it back together was a huge task.
Maybe he too saw through all of it, her thick skin and defenses being a disguise, because the person behind it was just a girl that had been repeatedly lied to. And that was the true version she had to offer.
All this felt irrelevant. To have been married and have crossed all those phases of innocent romance but yet walk about town like a hopeless romantic. Because her heart was opening up to the fact that she might still have a chance, beating it's wings against the bars of the cage she had trapped it in, excited that all the time she had lost could be coming back. Now, however, it felt too premature, to have gotten her hopes up only to have it shot down.
The huts were getting closer while she caught the attention of the residents who surrounded her. But even the attention could not deter her from the fact that whatever it was that was between them was special and it would be idiotic to bury it. She knew it was special because she was willing to do this, she huffed, pulling her boot up to see the mud slosh to the ground. That she was willing to reach out, to cross the line, to fall from grace all to ask him to stay and be by her side. These thoughts were all unlike herself. She had always been composed, level headed and a bearer of justice. While now, she was rattled, constantly plagued by the sound of his soft hums and wanting to break the rules that had kept her in place.
She spotted the hut, it fit the description given to her by that of his friends. She approached the humble abode, to knock on the door.
“Attuma?”, she knocked. There was silence. But as she paused, she heard shuffling feet and it irked her.
“Attuma, open this door right now.”, she demanded.
“No.”, she heard him and it brought comfort to her, that he was in fact here. But the spark within her fused to turn into a flame.
“Open the door, Attuma.”, she asked, her voice in a steady monotone.
“I cannot.”, He responded. She inhaled deeply.
“Then move, I’m breaking it down.”, she approached it and he told her to stop.
So she did, her palm resting on the door. Her eyes only wanting to see his face. This. She had never once felt these lingering feelings that made her heart feel alive and clawed through the depths of her mind.
“Now isn’t a good time.”, he said softly.
“Tell me what’s going on.”, she pleaded.
“It’s stupid.”, he mumbled and she calmed down. It was innocent, nothing like what she had made up in her head.
“Tell me.”, she urged him and he sighed.
“I wanted to trick you. But it began to feel real. And I- he had begun to say but then cutoff.
She was right. All her thoughts were validated. Now she was back to square once again, her feelings betrayed once again.
“This was supposed to be a game.”, he huffed and she held her head high, because the moment she let it down, she knew she would hear the sound of her heart break.
“A game? Is that all I am to you?”, she felt her tongue turn into a dagger, her words spilling out sharply.
“Of course not, that’s not what I meant.”, he raised his voice.
“Then what did you mean.”, she leveled her tone to meet his.
“I’m not prepared for you to see me like this.”, he gave her another reason.
“Just let me in.”, she pounded the door not buying his excuses.
“Okoye.”, he grunted.
“Let me in now.”, she put down her foot and in return she heard the latch click open.
She pushed through the door to enter into an quaint place, she couldn’t see him, he was nowhere. But her skin prickled as she sensed his presence behind her, his body casting a shadow over her. She straightened and turned slowly.
“There.”, he looked away, folding his arms.
“Happy?”, he shrugged his shoulders.
It was as though her mind had failed, that it could not commute words or form sentences, only her eyes were working to take in what was in front of her. His black eyes darting over her trying to read her expression. He stood there without his armour, like he had just gotten off work tilling the lands. Half his hair pulled up in a bun. His skin wasn’t blue but rather a deep chestnut brown, he looked entirely different, so much more softer, that she was sure this was how it felt before your heart gives out and your knees buckle.
She was sure her eyes had stars in them because she could not look at anything else. His face, free of his mask, without any hindrances, he looked magnificent, as though she had conjured him up from a dream. The weapon in her hand slipped. He had her under a spell. He took up the space in the room, his enormous chest so wide it was luring her in to place her head on it. The muscles on his arm flexing, his long legs planted securely on the ground. She felt like she was back in the river gasping for air.
“You make me worry.”, she willed every ounce of her strength to walk towards him.
“Hide away from me.”, another step closer.
“Infiltrate my thoughts.”, the gap between them growing narrower.
“Turn me into this crazy woman who lurches around in the mud.”, she inhaled deeply, like his very scent drove her mad.
“Only to have me believe that you were shy about all this?”, she narrowed her eyes, seeing through his game.
He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked down on her, a smirk tugging the edges of his lips.
“Fine”, his eyes darkened.
“I did it to get you all to myself.”, he flashed a smile and she was certain she was going to faint.
“You think this is funny?”, she furrowed her brows standing on her toes, her face getting closer to his.
His chest bobbed with soft laughter.
“I do.”, his eyes dropped to her lips.
“You never get flustered over me. So I thought I’d give it a try.”, he dipped his head. She stepped back, her palms sweating, her heart racing.
“And to create all this fuss over how you look”, she put enough space between them.
“When you look like – she waved her hand over him.
“Look like?”, he laid his siren eyes on her as he hummed.
“Nothing. I don’t care about any of this.”, she grew frantic, she won’t admit it to him, the effect he was having over her.
“That’s the thing, Okoye. It doesn’t seem like you care anymore.”, his eyes grew wide as he pouted his lips. Shivers ran down her back as she lost all control, she wanted to show him that she cared. To truly shut down her mind and pour out all this love she held in her heart without holding back.
She veered her head away, her chest heaving with deep breaths as he smiled.
“I do care.”, she composed herself, but he looked uninterested.
“I learnt the meaning of an english phrase recently.”, he walked towards her while she retreated.
“That actions speak louder than words.”, he encased her within his arms as her back hit the wall.
She pursed her lips, looking into his eyes with no where to run now. The soft afternoon light lit up his features, she cursed under her breath.
He needed to hear the words, he wanted to feel her touch. That there was no doubt in her mind, about them, about him. He wanted her to open the door, to let him in.
"Tell me you feel it. Whatever it is that is between us.", he felt his eyes plead. She froze as her eyes slowly met his.
“It's not fair, you’ve wrecked my life, teaching me to see life with colour and now I’m transformed.”, she touched his cheek, his eyes boring into hers, like he hung on ever word.
“Unable to live life being away from you. I need you like I need air and that scares me.”, she slid her hands over his shoulders.
“Why?”, he asked, his breath hitching in his throat. He needed to know for sure. Because he spent the day, dreaming about her. He didn't want to live in another fantasy in his head. But when he fit the new breathing gear around his neck and slowly witnessed the blue fade away from his skin, he had hope in his heart that all the delusions in his head could come true. For all the years he believed he could never look like his ancestors, he was standing here like he belonged on the land he walked.
So this was just another fantasy, wanting to belong to her.
Could he?
“Because I’m falling in love for the first time.”, she admitted, the true reason she was being unlike herself. His eyes widened.
“And when you see the person I am without all my walls, it won’t challenge you anymore. The thrill of the chase will be gone.”, she let it all out, because when he held her in his gaze, she couldn’t move and lie to escape it.
He tilted her chin so her eyes could meet his. “Okoye.”, he said her name and her body moulded towards him like he had said a command.
“The thrill with you, is that I’ve met my match.”, his thumb caressed the rise of her cheek and her throat ran dry.
“I will be your armour if you let me.”, his cheeks were flush, strands of his hair falling forward .
"What if you decide to take my walls with you when you choose to leave?", she held his gaze searching for some kind of assurance.
"You have all the power, Attuma, to destroy me like no one has before.", she whispered, shedding light on her fears behind her hesitancy to pursue any form of happiness, unfurling her heart like a scarlet letter she had hidden away.
"Then I will shield you in my arms forever.", He had no other purer form of truth, this was all he had to give her.
"I only want you.", His final proclamation because no other woman could ever hold a candle to her flame.
He was close enough for her breath to skim over his fingers. She remained silent, as she looked away hesitant. This was driving him insane, he was tired of being only given specks of time with her when he wanted to be consumed by his passion, his adoration for her. To not have to hold back and step around gently. He didn't want to be limited to gazing at her affectionately from the sparring lines or wait for her by the river every morning so he could start the day with her.
He pushed away, feeling annoyed. He didn't want to hold back. So he needed to know now. If she would ever give him the chance, to be free of this torment. His eyes snapped to hers.
"I'm tired, Okoye. How long are you going to keep me away? How long do you expect me to be happy with the little you give me?", she was going to lose him. This is where everything breaks and dissipates because she was too scared of taking a step forward. He looked much younger in this light, his brows furrowed in anguish. Her need to only have him around had been hurting him. She pushed away from the wall. His eyes following her every move.
“So what’s holding you back?”, he asked. His tone heavy with annoyance. She knew what they needed, what she had to do to show him. They had to get out of the shadows. She took a hold of his hand, opened the door and walked out.
The noon sun was shining bright directly over their heads that their own shadows could not be seen. The moment he stepped out, the villagers who were present gasped and murmured. His hand holding onto hers tighter, his head dipping low suddenly aware of his presence and how he looked. She paused and let go to face him. Getting his eyes to only focus on her. A crowd had gathered around them, she folded her arms to gather her thoughts.
He stood taller, erasing the people around them, catching onto what she was doing, controlling his heart from jumping to conclusions, from believing that this was going end happily.
"What are you doing?", he saw only her. She saw the pain in his eyes and she sighed.
"I don't want to hide anymore. You and me, that's all I want.", she shrugged her shoulders. The crowd didn't affect her, the murmurs didn't matter because all she could focus on was him, standing there, waiting for her.
"I know I've got the worst reputation in town. I'm a walking bad sign. But with you, I feel like I'm doing one thing right.", she stood her ground.
"All the battles become stupid fights, all my fears become wordless thoughts and all my desires become real with you.", she continued as she watched the tension fade away from his face.
"Then what are you waiting for?", he asked her as he approached her. She didn't flinch away or run. Somehow, all the ghosts around her seemed to vanish, her mind feeling clearer than ever.
"Because if I start,", she paused, he waited, "I can’t stop loving you.", she spoke softly. A truth only he needed to know.
"Then don’t.", he whispered, his hand slipping around her waist. She let him, to adore her, to love her in his way.
She smiled, her hand cupping his cheek, she stood on her toes as she kissed him. His hand tensed up gripping the fabric of her shirt.
"There?", she pulled away, "Happy?", she chuckled as she got a glimpse of his wide smile.
This was the moment, this was the dream, the only fantasy he replayed over and over. That he wanted to do everytime he saw her. He pulled her close, dipping his head to kiss her again and the world disappeared around him. Her walls had been replaced with his arms, his mask had been replaced with her lips, this was the day he would remember his whole life. The day his wildest dreams came true.
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Pls I love Attuma so much he deserves all the love in the world *hugs him tightly*
Tags:
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tekr4s · 5 months ago
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INFO POST!
Hi, this is an ooc hub. Run by RJ @ft-rj. This is mostly just for the following people side of things...?! Etc. If I get other fantroll blogs that aren't Tekras, I might actually put them here too..?! Not the same verse, though, because of how it works. Some play the game, some live it out on their planets. It's a different thing.
RP DIRECTORY:
TEKRAS: @tekras-iszovh. < game playing meta bullshit, 13 sweeps, bronzeblood, prince of doom, long term oc of 8 years. interacts with any and all RP blogs, who cares !!
OTHERS: i might make a more chill and on-planet character for grumblr type stuff. not sure. I have one guy ready. when he's up I'll just silently launch him
Uhm. Drabbles and writing?: Wherever it feels right? Here, maybe? Or on the ic blog but tagged. rare. Generally if it's not IC it goes here.
This is a hub blog so I can follow RP blogs for him more obviously, but it might turn into something more if it feels right. We'll see! Most activity is on the IC posting blogs. Go look up there.
RULES: Eh no not really. General terms of the blog(s) are: I've been roleplaying for ages, I've seen everything that eventually cycles through rp communities, I just sit off to the side and watch, and don't tag me in anything. Interact if you want. No harm in talking and then getting along, or not getting along, that's what matters. Enjoy yourself!!!! that is the POINT. more on @ft-rj for my real ooc posting
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mhateesyoux · 1 year ago
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Only friends Ep 8
Thoughts were all over the place…
Let’s dive in, before I go on these are MY opinions. You’re welcome to come for me or not lol that’s up to you. I simply write my personal thoughts during and after watching the episodes.
I want to start with the mess that is Raymew, but before I hit up on that, cheum baby, let’s talk about you shall we?
Up until this episode I’ve been riding with cheum. I love her, this episode however, I started feeling some type of way towards her. She’s still a very likable character don’t get me wrong but in this specific episode I was not on board with her though i get her pov. that’s the beauty of writing. I feel as though p’jojo had her be the one to go off on ray to let us know that she’s the one who can bring and probably keeps them all together as a friend group. But we might dig into that later. I just personally felt the attack on Ray, after so many times he’s fucked up. Like I said I get her. I see why she’s frustrated, Ray is a mess and that boy needs help, but where will he find it or heal if he gets it from no one? Not his parents, for obvious reasons we already know, not from his friends, we saw it from Mew but only for a brief time and the love Ray has for Mew maybe affected the way Mew cares for Ray now. I’m not defending Ray at all. He’s making endless mistakes and I’m honestly getting so annoyed at him but that’s how unstable people realistically act. They can’t accept or receive help even when it’s given, i.e Sand in Ray’s case. I just thought the both times she blamed Ray for Mew, a grown ass man who’s capable of making his own decisions, for the bad boy choices. I felt like she just wanted to blame Ray due to his obvious constant behavior but Mew is choosing to deal with his pain this way, and again; realistically some people do cope with pain in that way, we see it in Ray all the time. She needs to pull Mew aside and talk to him about why he’s acting out.
Now RayMew. Mew was chill for me but up to this point he’s been making decisions that irk the shit out of me. Like i mentioned in last week’s post, he was getting on my nerves with the way he was acting over Top but I was shut up which I really liked! But this episode i was back to disliking this new version of Mew. It’s good that he’s giving Top the cold shoulder that’s what I support but what I don’t like is that he’s using Ray in this messy ass revenge he’s got going on. Again, not defending Ray cause I know damn well he knows he’s being used. He knows Mew is hurting and is using him as a rebound. I don’t think it’s okay to use anyone in any matter the way Mew is using Ray. For the story, it makes sense and I guess the choices they’re making in the writers room will eventually make sense as we continue watching but for right now I stand by my feelings towards Mew & I don’t like him at all. There’s something very fishy about him. I feel he makes himself seem like this sweet innocent kid but in reality he’s as evil & toxic as his friends. Maybe he’ll grow on me later? Idk I liked him last episode this episode, not so much.
Top & Boston. I’ll do these two in one. Okay, Top is shining now. He’s trying. However, i still don’t feel anything towards his character. The love he has for Mew is clear now, I guess he really is serious about him. It was nice to see him being caring towards him but I’m still eh. Boston on the other hand, im warming up to. He’s funny. He is probably the only character besides Sand that is so real & gives no fucks. He literally is so chill and unbothered by everything. He made me laugh so much this episode and I’m starting to love him cause he never fakes who he is. Boston is Boston and I’m loving him for being himself regardless of anything.
Nick, he really is so lost. My boy is just obsessed. It’s sad in my opinion. I still like him for some reason and I think that reason is because Mark is too adorable to hate. I don’t condone his stalker ass tho lol from the start I’ve said he’s creepy for have gone after Boston the way he did but hey it worked for him. I just want him to move on, tho it’s clear he’s very much in love with Boston and maybe Boston is feeling something towards him as well? I gotta admit that scene of him at the bar was super cute. But they’ll be toxic together given Nick’s spying kink and Boston’s “I can’t stick to just one person” but there’s potential I guess.
I’m very biased I know, Sandray….
Ugh, what to say? Ray is an idiot. Like I said he’s getting on my last nerve. Not only is he all kinds of fucked up but to have the audacity to cock block Sand from moving on is actually gross. The satisfaction I felt when Sand told him he wasn’t his second option and shoved his ass onto that couch?! Ughhh love! I fucking clapped and cheered. That’s what I need from Sand. As much as I love FirstKhao, Sandray is not my go to no more. Sand deserves so much better but he ain’t safe either i have shit for him too! Not him running back to Ray next episode! Face palm! Sand cmon man you’re stronger than that!! I will admit Sand is my favorite character, as if I haven’t mentioned that previously lol but yes I will stick up for him but this episode him going to safe Ray’s ass yet again got screaming at my screen “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!” And next week’s episode put the cherry on top to my disappointment lol however, despite that whole party interaction, That sandray scene at the very beginning of the episode is also my favorite sandray scene thus far. The smoothness and calmness of it ? Beautiful. First & Khao are so talented. I felt Sand’s pain and First’s pain for sand. I also felt Ray’s disappointment to Sand learning to let him go. The writing in that scene is what i hope to write in the future as a screenwriter. These situations are what inspires me. Big props to P’Jojo for that beautiful scene and the crew for beautifully transferring it on screen.
Little note: sandnick’s friendship needs protection at all costs!
Next week’s promo: im ready for that daddy Dan & Nick dynamic… oh lord! But… Dan seems kind of sus ngl. Boston… back to making bad decisions but that’s what makes him Boston and i can no longer hate him for it lol Top forcing himself back into Mew’s life, yikes. Sandray get away? It’ll end in pain again, i already know it. I’m not getting my hopes up at all fuck that. They can give us hopes and then they just take it away. I also feel it won’t be real? I have a sense that it’s more of a dream sequence? But maybe not. Idk it seems too good to be true, but at least we get the “now that you walked into my life, I’m not letting you go” scene!!! That song they used for them: broke back mountain reference for sure you can’t tell me otherwise. I’m very anxious for next week & i have zero patience.
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unhingedselfships · 1 year ago
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It was some big, multi group, party. 
Seemed weird given most of these people wanted to kill each other but.
Well she wasn’t really one of them so far be it for her to understand. 
Still. Her nerves were wearing thin.
She was a novelty here. The barely legal little American girl the Tojo Chairman had moved across the planet for… reasons. There was plenty of speculating. 
Not that most of it was true.
He cared about her, he was a good man, and when she’d desperately needed to escape, he’d offered. 
Nothing else to it. One emotionally wrecked girl, and a man with far too much kindness.
Alas, she’d been quickly dismissed as the latest ‘toy’ by everyone up to and including the man’s own mother.
She wasn’t even that pretty? Maybe they thought her a freak? Willing to do some real weird shit? After all, she didn’t exactly set that “gold digger standard”. 
She supposed maybe she’d dressed a bit like one, but eh. She had nice tits, and she knew it. The only nice thing about her, no duh she was gonna show it off.
Of course, that meant others were gonna notice too. He’d been sleazy and way too obvious and very not her type. Shutting him down had been trickier than she’d expected but eventually he’d wandered off in a huff, making promises to return or do something or other, she didn't know, she’d stopped caring. 
“Backpfeifengesicht, never met anyone more fitting,” an exaggeration, maybe, but she was cranky.
“Really now? That sounds unpleasant,” he’d leaned over her shoulder, startling her, and she twisted to look at him.
Annnnd immediately felt her face heat. For all the creepy old men that had been sidling up to her that night, this one was well- decidedly less creepy. And a lot nicer to look at. And his voice gave her chills.
“Oh- um- yeah- well,” she stuttered and he grinned at her, “It um, well it isn’t exactly nice,”
“Care to share?”
She hummed, and tried not to look directly at him.
“Ah, gimme a second yeah?”
“Take your time princess, I can wait.”
Something in his tone was both smarmy and eager. 
She mulled it over a bit longer and he chuckled, and in perfect Upper Class British-English, “My English is pretty good too, if that would be easier for you.”
“Ah, um, ok. I guess the closest would be like ‘a face in need of a fist’, or something like that.”
He blinked before throwing his head back and laughing, the chains around his neck jingled and his hair fell in his face.
The flush was back, and worse than ever.
“Yeah, yeah I could agree with that assessment,” he seemed delighted. 
She took the moment to look him over, the burgundy textured velvet suit, the black on black shirt, half buttoned. 
And a knife. She knew that shape well. And actually-
“Oh!” she didn’t think as she reached, “Is that the-”
He moved faster than her, and with a hell of a lot more grace, grabbing the offending hand and spinning her, arms pinned across her, her back pressed to his chest-
And she was still rattling off knife specs. Weight, length, the fucking metal blend. 
How cute~
She was still babbling, and he found himself even more amused, did this girl really have no fear?
Looking up he noticed the Sixth Tojo Chairman making a beeline for them, eyes hard, and ready for conflict.
Kadokura’s eyes took on something… manic. Wild and wicked.
He felt her shift but didn’t think much of it, too busy silently goading the younger man.
She tugged at something on her thigh, passed it from hand to hand, and he found another knife, not his own, waved vaguely in front of him.
He blinked, bemused. 
Tricky little thing.
“Thiisss one, is mine. I doubt it’d be a comfortable hold, it was made specifically for me, but. It’s nice right?”
It was nice. Damascus steel, antler handle, seven inch blade, eleven inch total, give or take a bit.
Daigo had moved within range, and she finally noticed him, trailing off in her rambling.
One arm loosened its hold on her, grabbing the knife from her hand.
“It is lovely, where did you say you got it?”
“Oh!” She leaned her head back against his shoulder, and he found it novel how comfortable she seemed to be in his hold, “My cousin makes them. Well, there are like, three cousins who do forging. They make me pieces for gifts now and then. They’re good right?”
He hummed, “Indeed they are.”
Looking up she noticed the approaching Chairman, and paled, finally going quiet.
“I’m- being super autistic about this, aren’t I?”
His arms fell from around her as he took a step back, bending double, and cackling.
He gasped, trying to catch his breath, and she seemed uncomfortable with the audience they’d attracted, looking between him and Daigo-chan anxiously.
Adorable, really.
Standing, he reached out with a grin, giving a lock of her hair a tug.
“I’ll be seeing you around darling.”
He laughed at the flush that darkened over her, and wandered off.
Wide eyed, she turned to Daigo.
“Who was that?”
“Kadokura Kenshi, from one of the factions up North. He’s not a man you want to be involved with Kimi.”
“Oh. Oh I think I do.”
A little while later, the cry of “That asshole still has my knife!” carried across the room, and he cackled as he left.
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cak31ssuperi04 · 1 year ago
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Also also for the ask game The rest of the hackers + Izuchi n Sagara + Nanase!!
time to run away from ur ask box again just to show up again later
ding dong ditching via askbox real /j
YIPPE! WOO!
Sagara:
favorite thing about them- BEST GIRL???? I'M SO ILL ABOUT HER???? she's so silly......... I think there's something in her casual edginess and how she dresses in frills and likes cake and just how chill she is about it all. Love that she threatens Nanashi 0.3 seconds after meeting him. I like her general demeanor. Or how much she talks herself up in spite of how pathetic she is. She's a fun character and just everything about her appeals to me specifically, I can and will read to deep into her character sheet calling her jaded.
least favorite thing about them- Her saying Sagara was her temp name was the perfect setup for her to eventually reveal a chuuni alias and I'm so bitter that they didn't do that.
favorite line- "Heehee... Then Nanashi, you will have to perform the official pact rite!" (What's the pact rite?) "You must help with this lunchtime cake set that's being sold starting today!" (T-that's the rite?) "I have a quota to meet this month, see..."
brOTP- Nanashi!! Their friendship and interactions are so great to me. I also really like the idea of her befriending Yukinaga. Weirdboy-to-Weirdgirl communication(for both friendships tbh).
OTP- IZUCHI AUGH I M SO OBSESSED WITH THEM. They're very different but hear me out. They have a funny dynamic. Menaces to society and also each other. I do actually think there is potential for them to contrast and complement each other in interesting ways though. I appreciate that their one interaction establishes that she visits him regularly just to mess with him, and how he's probably just used to her atp. I think they could be schemers together.
nOTP- eh.
random headcanon- Her chicken avatar is based on a childhood pet, she starts keeping chickens again sometime in the future. Also timeskip Sagara wears crocs.
unpopular opinion- I've only seen this like twice but I disagree with any portrayal of Izsg that involves her pestering him because she has a crush because I think it's infinitely funnier if she's just Like That(and maybe the local asshole is one of the few peoples she has that's close to an actual friend but it's not a crush. at the moment).
song i associate with them- Egorock
favorite picture of them- From her VA's twitter
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Izuchi:
favorite thing about them- Smartass. I love him dearly. Self aggrandizing mad scientist with the brains to back it up, who just does whatever he wants without regard to what other people think and goes about it with a cool and collected(/albeit arrogant) air. How he's not really on either side but just gives the time of day to whatever benefits him/his research, yet is still patient enough to explain things and hear out other perspectives. Who maybe does have a nice side but it's overlayed by 50 layers of conceit.
least favorite thing about them- I want him to face tangible consequence for what he did to the Potetes.
favorite line- "...What is it, whelp? Do you love my greatness? Well, I must apologize... I already adore myself far more than you do.", why is he like this I'm sobbign
brOTP- Nanashi, mad scientist-guinea pig duo ever. I think his relationship with Kirai is interesting too.
OTP- SAGARA. Look I think it's so real of her to be canonically able to knock him on his ass in like 1 minute flat. I have full reason to believe this happens regularly simply because of how easily she does it here, and the only reason it doesn't escalate is because Nanase drags her away. Izuchi is a voice of reason to her out-there way of thinking and general immaturity and Sagara not only doesn't take his shit but is fully capable of smashing through his ego.
nOTP- I can see how Izuchi/Saaya would be interesting but it just isn't for me idk.
random headcanon- Keeps and labels seashell displays. It's some of the only actual decor his room has. Also is a relatively decent cook.
unpopular opinion- The fandom doesn't bully him enough like actually. Look at this guy.
song i associate with them- What The World Needs, this was so hard I have too many.
favorite picture of them-
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Kirai:
favorite thing about them- He's such an unapologetic turd but also weirdly competent for a 10 year old. I like how he spends his entire friend event complaining then just gives Nanashi trash as a gift. That's so mean. I feel like he veers more into being just an outright asshole vs Nomare or the twins being kind of clowns about it, but I love that for him honestly.
least favorite thing about them- leave the old man alone bro(who isn't even an old man he's 34 but Kirai's 10 so I see how it'd seem that way to him)
favorite line- "Yeah, yeah. Let's slaughterize 'em all."
brOTP- The hackers but I think Kotora being his babysitter is funny. Sorry for the constant torment dude(it's entertaining.)
OTP- N/A
nOTP- N/A
random headcanon- Makes a fuss about how he's eventually going to get a growth spurt and how That'll Show You All but stays short into adulthood. Never hears the end of it.
unpopular opinion- I feel like Izuchi's personality gets conflated with his sometimes which I get but. You know(will not elaborate(this isn't directed at anything you said in your answer btw just to be clear, you're good)).
song i associate with them- Oh No!
favorite picture of them-
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Mikado:
favorite thing about them- Great antagonist. Very good parallels to Nanashi(for obvious reasons), with this being how he would've turned out if he stayed the way he was at the start of the game, down to his ultimate goal being a warped version of Nanashi's initial wish of World Peace. His attempt to start a team only to have them all hate and betray him in contrast to people being weirded out by Nanase before eventually warming up to him for him is neat.
least favorite thing about them- How do you just pretend to be a guy's cousin who he's known all his life and have his family accept that and let him stay with you. Where does Nanase go when he disappears. I can and will draw conjectures but I wish that was elaborated on.
favorite line- "Had it not been "me," there was no way I would have offered you hot cocoa in the dead of summer as if it were a reward." On levels of passive aggression incomprehensible to mere mortals.
brOTP- Nanashi and Misane!
OTP- N/A
nOTP- Nanashi ew
random headcanon- Would try to hold hacker Game Nights to build rapport and cooperation, you can imagine how well that went.
unpopular opinion- Not exactly Mikado himself but never forget that Nanashi is canonically capable of becoming a fucked up guy given the right circumstances. As in "can and will commit so many crimes against humanity" fucked up.
song i associate with them- Technocrat, I probably Do have better songs for him but I just want to raise this in the vein of him trying to pitch the master program to the higher ups and doing it in a really backhanded concerning way(although it gets passed anyways so.)
favorite picture of them-
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Kotora:
favorite thing about them- Only Sane Man of the hackers but is so spineless that it doesn't even matter. He gets bullied by a 10 year old, guys. Hge's so tired guys give him a break. I enjoy the potential thread of him being so stressed and tired that he turned to crime despite not usually being that type. I like the moment in his friend event where Rocca breaks a plate(?) and he's more concerned about her safety. Nice fellow.
least favorite thing about them- Who runs the cafe while he's running from the law? Because Rocca is definitely still working there.
favorite line- "Ahaha… I wouldn't say "don't judge a book by its cover," more… "you don't know what a really fatigued guy will do.""
brOTP- The hackers but I like to imagine him and Tobari having regular meetups(tea parties? coffee? Whatever) after the group splinters off to do their own thing. I'd say they could bond over the more mature of the four but I wonder how he'd feel, with him being burnt out(albeit I do think all that trouble would give him a new appreciation for his life, but that doesn't change the fact that the feeling was there) and running a struggling business and her being born rich and choosing to gallivant around because she's a thrillseeker? I think there could be something to explore there.
OTP- N/A
nOTP- N/A
random headcanon- Majored in computer science for a minute in college; Went back to coding when he started feeling stuck in his own life and that's how he managed to have any success with hacking.
unpopular opinion- N/A
song i associate with them- Coffee and Syrup
favorite picture of them- He's kindof pathetic but that's how I like my men
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Nomiya:
favorite thing about them- Hell yeah, go funny loud man.
least favorite thing about them- We have Sho Minamoto at home.
favorite line- "Ya better show me somethin' giga-fun next time!!! If you yotta-bore me again, you're packed!! Zipped! DELEEETEEEEEED!!!!!"
brOTP- The hackers but I like to think of him and Kirai being disasters who cause problems on purpose. I bet they fight all the time.
OTP- I don't always go there but I do see the Nomihiyu vision
nOTP- N/A
random headcanon- After the master program gets re-made he gets brought onto the team to help with code maintenance. He creates viruses and Hiyu figures out how to protect the master program from them.
unpopular opinion- N/A
song i associate with them- AC/DC
favorite picture of them-
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Nanashi:
favorite thing about them- His arc! How he starts the game constantly trashing on himself and through his efforts to befriend the characters, he learns that everyone's a little messed up. He learns to start loving himself and what sets him apart, and that he deserves to be live and love and have friendship through his relationships, because people care for him. How his arc carries into the next game but not in such a way that they just get rid of his peculiarity.
least favorite thing about them- I feel like it does get toned down from Ch.XXX to 1beat but some of his interactions with Misane post-timeskip... yeesh.
favorite line- His whole speech at the end of the first game makes me feel things.
brOTP- Misane big obvi, they're so precious to me. Can a catgirl and a bunnyboy truly solve crimes together.
OTP- I have a few ships I like with him but nothing I'm entirely committed to.
nOTP- Gosh where do I start. Mikado maybe.
random headcanon- Moves in with the Real Aisakas permanently after the game, mostly I just feel bad about the idea of having him move too far away from his friends.
unpopular opinion- Okay for how much people like to rag on his post-timeskip behavior lbr even some of his comments toward other characters throughout the first game were kind of. weird(derogatory). Also maybe not shipping him with Misane is an unpopular opinion but the fandom seems to have fallen off that boat anyways.
song i associate with them- Saying the 1bit ed might be too obvious so. uh. Be A Friend. Also Self-Inflicted Achromatic for a more angsty(normal end) angle
favorite picture of them-
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but-a-humble-selfshipper · 7 months ago
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Actually L.L. in Dialtown real so let me ramble about them (I'll eventually give them a proper design [working on it but y'all know I hate drawing clothes] and introduction post but I just need to ramble now ok? ok.)
For starters the main people they'd have relationships with: Randy, Mingus and Hobo
Maybe Norm too but I didn't think of them both together much aside from the normie solidarity angle
They didn't actually replace their head but at the same time they kiiiinda did because after a while the tv they put on themselves kinda started merging with their flesh
This can be removed but it's not as easy as popping it out. Well, it is, but know. Yeowch.
L.L. also goes by a different name here because when meeting their first person (idk who that'd be) they didn't understand if they were asked "what are you" or "who are you" so they tried to say TV and Luly at the same time and just blurted out Tuvy and then were too embarassed to correct it.
Hobo logically realized pretty fast that they're not one of the creatures he made but he was like Eh Whatever bc who give a shit
L.L. is actually homeless here because they're piss fucking poor (like Norm, all their money is useless since it has a human headed president) so they either sleep with Hobo or with Randy
Now for some character specific things:
Randy:
I can't tell yet if they're dating. Maybe a little?
They most definitely fucked though
The only thing that differentiates L.L. from Gingi is that they can keep their thoughts to themselves. But they also want to eat this guy. Probably for way hornier reasons than Gingi does though.
They're still very protective of him tho trying to make him grow a spine but ALSO feel comfortable and capable of trust.
They also want to teach him how to fight but that's more of a pipe dream
Hobo:
They definitely have something going on of some sort. Probably not sexual bc i think that man doesn't care about the horizontal mambo but they're something gay.
They also have a sort of... Solidarity as beings who don't exist on a single universe because of the problems this cause that helps them bond.
By this I mean L.L. went to cry to his dumpster when they first realized holy shit Peter is here and he's alive (but I can't do anything about it because he won't recognize me, he doesn't know who I am.)
Hobo understood their despair all too well and did their best to try comfort them. Also offered them booze so they both got kinda drunk together and he taught them the pros of fucking ignoring stuff 👍
Aside from that incident though they're just low-key lovebirds. TV4TV love. He's very chill and L.L. really enjoys hanging out with him.
Also they're both doggies.
He's just rlly attractive.
They also like genuinely care about him and hate when he gets all self deprecating.
Oh yeah also they cook him actual food which he LOVES ❤️
Mingus:
Romantic + sexual they're so fucking .
Falling for them was DEVASTATING for Mingus like a huge blow to her pride like The Mayor™ falling for this random loser guy⁉️
Yes.
They're so cute together though sometimes when Mingus purrs L.L.'s head starts vibrating or vice versa
Also L.L. has experience being a scratching pole so that's no issue.
Mingus is both possessive and detached. You're mine but also go for a hike I am very busy right now do whatever you want idc.
Mingus is also Way nicer to L.L. than she is to anyone else. Her morality pet if you will. They're her favorite y'know.
And just like the previous two L.L. really worries for her and does try to help but she's stubborn. Probably could get somewhere post chapter 3 though.
+
L.L. really likes Tango too
Def nothing more than platonic going on there though but they often see him when they are staying over with Mingus
First time they met L.L. was weird bc they're just weird but also bc they realized this was THE Everett Harry spoke about so it was a shocker but they were trying hard to be respectful
Another time they outright flirted with him bc they were experiencing POST nut psychosis and were still very loopy. He was very flattered AND flustered.
They're definitely restricted from dating though. Sad!
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illicit-indulgences · 1 year ago
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Intoxication
"After that epic dream, I wonder if there was a way to relive those exact moments. Maybe in future, we could record dreams?
Like I've never felt that happy and euphoric (of course, I have in real life), but I don't think dreams have affected me this way ever. I can't believe that dreams can cause such strong emotion, the kind that makes you smile unconsciously, cry sleeping, wake up with tears not knowing its source. Reminds me of a time that'll come when people will pay to dream, to escape from reality, to live in their unconscious, in limbo.
How do dreams have that much power to control your supposedly "voluntary" muscles? Don't they originate in the unconscious?
Also, the fact that different dreams invoke different emotions really says something. A nightmare would cause you to jump straight outta it; the whole time you're in that experience, you're begging for all of it be over. (Sounds similar to life eh?)
On the other hand, when you're overcome with euphoria in dreams that send you to whole new worlds, with experiences you know you won't have in real life, you want to stay, you want that to become your forever. Those dreams blind you from your reality, questioning your sanity, and eventually turn your perspective into something strange and new in your eyes, but dangerous in reality. You then begin to believe that your dreams are your reality, and that your life is, well a huge dream, a lie you can't wait to escape from.
Something's happening to me.
Am I insane? Did it have to affect me this much? To the extent of me holding my breath to hear his through his songs? Yep, I'm going off the edge. I can't catch my breath. I'm getting chills, feeling thrilled and feverish at the same time. This must be what ecstasy feels like. What a high does to you. Bliss. Intoxication. To say I'm feeling weird would be an understatement. 
Ahhh, he's killing me with every breath, and making me feel alive with every word at the same time. I'm obsessed. This ain't real. I can't comprehend this feeling. This is so- different. I've never felt this before. 
I could just listen to him humming all day. He purses and hums, like it's the thing he enjoys most in life."
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darkhalo4321 · 2 years ago
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I started to post a tweet, but it started to form a long rant and I felt Tumblr was the true home for it. SO- I love having a website for my comic. I REALLY DO. however, the amount of people I attract to that site is...
abysmal.
Mostly because not a lot of webcomic artists with sites do link exchanges like they used to and it feels like everyone's gotta be part of a "collective!" or something. Which... Technically I am part of a magical webcomic collective. called Aradia. It's a small community and while it's slowly gaining traction in it's own way, it's not Spiderforest or Hiveworks and it's not WEBTOONS either. I've been wrestling with the task of making a mirror for my webcomic on webtoons. Some people said "just post the pages! I don't get a lot of views, but it's whatever" My LITERAL THOUGHT when I was told to post my traditional format pages "as is" on a vertical scroll dominated site was "of course you don't have traction! THE FORMAT IS WRONG" I would be reformatting for vertical scroll, and it's full of unknowns. I've never uploaded on there. Will it splice and realign okay? What if I mess it up and it's posted wrong? What if the tone moires weird? What if what if what if... Anxiety. It's holding me back. "but darkhalo4321, what about drawing better? Doing color? Advertising for your webcomic's website??" hahaha oh silly made up audience member. I have done all those things and It's not gotten me far. Maybe if I worked HARDER, Maybe if I were a better ARTIST, Maybe if I had a better STORY, Maybe maybe maybe... I've restarted my comic to have a better story, better art, and worked harder as a result. It's not cutting it. 'm fighting a machine. I'M FIGHTING AN ALGORITHM and I'm losing. The idea of being on webtoons is to gain SOME new eyes on my work via their community and I have many friends on there who have said the canvas community is really nice. I've been very calm and chill the last few months but I'm thinking I've been stuffing those in a box and setting them aside. Today I'm unpacking them a bit. I'm not depressed or disheartened. I an genuinely happy for friends that are hitting some personal goals, excited even! I've been big on enneagram stuff, and when my type goes into the unhealthy types, I tend to look at others and feel... bad that my life is not at that point, so I've been keeping busy to not deal with those feelings and now I'm just venting on tumblr for no one to read/see. Which Is ANXIETY. It all boils down to anxiety. Thanks to my boss at work who is working to become an anxiety/life coach I've been learning how to identify what anxieties are tormenting me and how to handle it when they do. I've been inking pages like crazy and maybe the last minute unplanned stream I tried doing last night where no one tuned in made me sad because like, no one came to watch and my dead twitch account getting no views is what did me in to ranting on tumblr. XD In all reality... I could stand to try harder with getting my content out there, but at the same time, I don't have like any free time to be a content creator on 5 social media sites, one of which is slowly burning, and the other ones favor short form videos which I don't have the patience to make videos for anyways, and I don't really... WANT to anyways. I wanna go back to link exchanges and finding things through other comics and their likes and rinse and repeat... I'll end the rant here XD I'm okay, I promise. Gonna make a mirror for webtoons eventually. If it uploads funky then... so be it. The nerds can call me out I guess? Not that I even plan to check comments or metrics. I don't even look at the numbers for my site anymore because it's... eh. I have better peace of mind posting and running.
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hollowscreekmuses · 7 months ago
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"Well, in a town like this you gotta be careful who you complain to, one day you're gonna end up doing it to the wrong person, ya'know?" which granted was pretty much what happened, the guy decided to poke an angry wolf, not knowing Avery was a an angry wolf but if you're in a supernatural town trying to pick up fights, you gotta be a dumbass because eventually you'll find something bigger, stronger than you. "Yeah? just another thing we can relate to, I guess," Avery nods to her question, "In a way, went to therapy about it, my dads were there for me too, but--Still wonder why? when I was baby my mom left me my dad's care, and while both my biological father and my adotive one, his husband, were the most loving parents you can ask for, I wanted to know why she left me and never looked back, I looked her up as teen but she refused contact," he shurgs his shoulders, it got better, but this was a kind of hurt he was always gonna cary, "So yeah, just not--easy stuff to feel when you're a teen..." he taps with his fingers on the table, trying to distract himself, its not easy to think back about all of this, "I hope it got better for you too?" Ave asks as he looks back at her. "Shit! so you're saying I've been lied to my whole life?" Avery jokes letting out a laugh, he shakes his head, "Yeah, I'm starting to realize that. Hope it does, because I'm tired of amost wolfing out because someone looked at me the wrong way, y'know?" "I was just--embarrased, I couldn't understand what was going on, if I was going crazy or--if there were more people like me," Avery nods with a smile, "But I can see there are and that's good, I'm glad you found someone to help you too, because well...I guess there's a reason why we are--pack people? we're meant to--be here for each other?" maybe one day Avery could be the one helping out the new wolves, he had a long road ahead of him and he knew it, but still. "Yeah, I'm seeing that," he nods, "Maybe I'll join, I need all the help I can get," honestly it was either this or live his life in fear of hurting someone. "Yeah--" as he listen to those words he feels himself starting to tear up again, because honestly that's just what he neeed to hear, "Thank you--I--I'm just fucking scared of this whole thing, It's--It's too much when you find yourself being something you're usually not," he breaths out, taking a hand to his hair, "Eh, I could do without the badass, I had this discussion with a friend lately, and my conclusion is : Bab boys are overated," Avery jokes along qwith her, he truth is, wolf or no wolf, he always had a little edge in him, he's a nice, chill person, but that little firecracker, ready to diss you out comes out when someone is pushing him a little too much. "Thank you," Avery says, he takes the phone, then reaches out his hand to place on top of her, "I really appreacite this, you know? thank you." "Yeah, you're right" he can't help but to smile at that, "I just let my passions take the best of me sometimes so just tell me to shut the fuck up if it gets too much," he chuckles, it wouldn't be the first. "Yeah, of course! I mean, you've been so nice to me! I'm more than willing to teach you if you're up to it! "honestly it wasn't just a way to payback her being nice, it was something he loved and the more he could spread around his love for music, the better. "Oh yeah, no, I figure" he laughs, "That's fine, I'm used to go where I'm needed, sometimes I can't get people over to my studio so we rent some places near them all cool."
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"Oh for sure, they always need something to complain about." Amelia hated those types of people and never wanted to become one of them. It never made sense to her, making yourself miserable over and over again while dragging down everyone around you. "Well you're preaching to the choir on those feelings but you're valid. Hopefully it got better for you? I know I got into my own fair share of fights over not feeling wanted." Amelia said with a soft and knowing smile. She sighed slightly, not missing the anger part of newly transforming in the least. "First off well adjusted adult is a myth sadly and the sooner you learn that the easier it is for you. But yeah sadly the anger part is real but it doesn't last long, I promise." She said reassuringly.
"Oh I definitely understand. I tried doing it on my own too but that lasted all but a moth probably before I finally broke and told someone, eventually finding out that they were one too and he helped me with it all." Sure she found out later that Rio was the reason she turned but Amelia always had a soft spot for him and forgave him quickly. "But the pack here is always helpful to wolves, whether you're in it or not. We all have been where you are and want to help make it easier." It was one of the things Amelia loved most about this place, the sense of community they all seemed to have. She softened immediately when he spoke about not wanting to lose himself. "I know how scary that is. But I promise you're still there and you can still be the best version of you. This is just a slight bump in the road and now you have some extra badassness about you." Amelia tried to lighten the mood as she typed her number into his phone and handed it back. "My number's in there. Just give me a call or text literally whenever you need someone okay?"
"Hey there's worse things out there to talk about! At least with music there's always something new to discover." Amelia always loved learning about new music, whether it was a new artist she never heard of or even just techniques to how it was made. "Wait really you would do that?" She asked, shocked that he would offer for her. "Hey that sounds so cool! Hopefully you can get back into it soon though. But I have to admit I doubt there's much need for one in Greywood itself but I'm sure you can easily go to the city and set up shop there."
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thatdisasterauthor · 4 years ago
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WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT THE DUMB THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME A FEW WEEKS AGO?
All of you, probably. Because you thrive on my chaos life.
So here we go.
Couple weeks ago I was feeling rather burnt out. Just hitting a wall with everything one day. So I thought, hey, I’m just gonna step back and go watch a movie/nap on the couch for a bit so my brain with chill out. Nice little bit of self care. Some good old me time.
I pull up some Netflix, get all cozy on the couch under several blankets because I can’t afford an actual weighted one, and start dozing. All is well and cozy for about, eh, five minutes. Then my nose starts to run. Deeply annoyed at having to leave my nest, I extract myself and retrieve some tissues. Nose blown, I re-enter the nest. And my nose starts to run again.
Okay, screw this. This couch has two reclining seats. I’ll use those instead of fully laying down so my head will be better elevated but still comfy, and hopefully my nose will stop running. I rearrange, still determined to take my nap and chill out.
Then I start to cough.
Fuck.
Do I have the...thing? How could I have the thing? I haven’t been around people in two weeks. Also, I was fine fifteen minutes ago, so what the fuck? But what else could it be?  Regular cold, maybe? But, again, I was fine fifteen minutes ago.
Ugh. Whatever. I just want to nap. Maybe I AM coming down with something and that’s why I was burning out so hard today.
Wait. Why are my coughs...spicy? Oh, yeah, I ate some spicy Doritos earlier. They probably just aren’t interacting well with the cough. Annoying, but nothing I can do about it now.
This continues for about another, eh, fifteen minutes, the runny nose and cough getting progressively worse and spicier. It was then that I just so happened to hear this WEIRD little whining noise coming from somewhere.
This whine is very quiet. But very annoying. I must find it and kill it. So I start poking around, trying to zero in on what it is. And. Well. I found it. A can of bear spray my father had given me at some point, sitting seemingly harmlessly on my camping gear shelf.
I stare at it for a minute, trying to figure out how exactly this little can is screaming.Then I see it. A tiny puddle of red near the nozzle. The can is leaking, and the leak is what’s screaming.
Wait.
WAIT.
OH.
FUCK.
That’s right, y’all. This little can of industrial strength pepper spray was in the process of slowly gassing my apartment. THAT’S why my nose was running. THAT’S why my coughs were spicy.
I grabbed a trashbag and wrapped the can up and got it out of the apartment, then spent the next couple hours airing everything out and scrubbing up the (thankfully tiny) spill, very glad I had my respirator from work so I could do it without continuing to get gassed. Took a couple hours, but all was well eventually. 
I learned several things from this experience. 1: Just because the can of bear spray is not past its expiration date does not mean it won’t suddenly become very unhappy and try to kill you. 2: If I ever have to actually use bear spray, I’m probably going to be just as fucked as the bear if the effects of even this tiny bit of exposure are anything to go by. 3: Bear spray tastes enough like Flamin’ Hot Limon Dorritos that I could not tell the difference for over half-an-hour.
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whoreiaki-kakyoin · 3 years ago
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Alt-bacchio Headcanons- Alt/Punk Abbacchio x Gender Neutral Reader
I’m still majorly brainrotting for Abbacchio as the hot older brother of your best friend Narancia? So enjoy some thoughts I keep having. (For reference, I got the idea for 1. Abbacchio's general look/vibe and 2. the older brother type dynamic from this awesome comic by gaminegay)
You and Narancia are good friends, probably having met through school or at mutual hangout spots. I imagine you both being at least college age, with you a little older than Narancia and Abbacchio a few years older than you
One day, you come over, and Abbacchio answers the door, silver hair tied back, headphones slung around his neck, lipstick and eyeliner and several piercings in his ears, and you think you might swoon. He acts indifferent, but you don’t miss the quick once-over he gives you as he grunts out a, “you’re Narancia’s friend? Well come in, then, he’s upstairs.”
“Okay, what the fuck, you never told me you had a brother!”
“Eh, yeah, we're not blood related, but Leone's a good big bro. He’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but he’s pretty chill.”
Leone usually excuses himself with an eye roll when Narancia is having friends over? Just does his own thing? Yet after you come over one day and he gets a glimpse of you, suddenly he hangs around more
Narancia goes to point this out (genuinely not intending anything by it, he just thinks it’s weird), and Abbacchio roughly elbows him in the side mid-sentence to shut him up
“Why are you even hanging around so much, you usually hate being around when my friends are ov— OW!” “No, I don’t, stop being a brat.”
He gives you a wolfish smile when he sees you’re blushing after that. Narancia is too busy cursing out his brother to notice.
Sometimes he’ll come in with his hair tied up in a messy bun and wearing a tight tank top after a workout and…. You really do try your best not to let Narancia catch you staring
Because honestly, you feel a little guilty. Nara’s one of your best friends, and wouldn’t he think it’s gross if he found out you had the hots for his older brother?
But it’s not like he’s that much older. Only a few years. So maybe it wouldn’t be weird? No, best to forget it, you’re overthinking.
But that doesn't stop your heart from skipping a beat when Leone leans over you to grab a blanket on movie night or a video game controller if he’s joining you two for a game. Does this bastard honestly have to sit right next to you on the couch? There’s plenty of room!
Leone does not care. You’re so cute when he leans over you so that his chest is almost pressed against you… trying to hide the way your breath catches in your throat and keep from blushing. He’ll give you a casual shrug and a grin after, or a gravelly “sorry, doll” as he bites back a smirk and you try your best not to short circuit
I so think modern au/big brother Abba is into alt/punk types of fashion, so naturally it led to the thought that he plays in a punk band. He’s a bassist, but he probably does the occasional vocal feature, too. This means his fingertips are callused when they brush against yours mmm 👀
One time you come over when Narancia’s running late and Abbacchio is in the basement/the garage/whatever practicing with his band. When he lets you in, he tells you his brother isn’t home but that you’re welcome to hang while they practice. (You start coming over early now and then just for an excuse to watch)
Usually Leone shrugs off compliments about his playing, but when he asks, “so, what did you think, [bella/bello]?” And you excitedly tell him how great the band sounds, “and you especially!” he can’t help grinning and even blushing a bit.
Unbeknownst to you, his bandmates tease him ruthlessly because he always brushes off any groupies who try to flirt with him or compliment his music, yet here he is asking what you think of their songs, suggesting that you come check out their shows, even reaching around your back to guide your hands as he shows you how to play a few chords on his bass. And Abbacchio never lets anyone touch his bass.
“Like this, see? You want your fingers curved a bit over the fretboard, like this… yeah, exactly.” Seriously, Abbacchio repositioning and guiding your fingers, coaxing them to bend the right way with his steady hands as you feel his warm breath on your neck when he laughs. Fuck.
Sometimes the others will ask if his [girlfriend/boyfriend] is coming to practice to watch him blush as he snaps that he doesn’t know what they’re talking about because you aren’t dating.
Leone makes it a goal to flirt with you and sneak little looks or touches when Narancia’s back is turned, and it drives you crazy. It’s almost a little game to him to get you breathless and watch you blush
He has to get by you in the kitchen? His hand will linger on your waist and give a little squeeze. Sometimes he’ll scoot behind you in tighter spaces so he’s pressed right up against your ass for a moment
You feel zero remorse then when you wear something more revealing or do your makeup in a way that catches his eye.
“You look…. Really good today, [y/n]”
“Ew, gross, Leone, [he’s/she’s/they’re] too young for you!” “Shut up.” You blush as you tell Narancia that it's fine, really, and it was actually pretty sweet.
Play fighting for the “good” video game controller, Abbacchio using his long arms to hold it high over your head as you climb into his lap without even thinking to get a better reach. Suddenly you’re both much more focused on the compromising position, you straddling him and your faces inches apart. You stare at each other for a beat or two before you hear Narancia coming back in and shimmy off his lap. You get your ass kicked in whatever you’re playing because your brain is still rebooting from whatever the hell just happened.
You start shivering during a movie night and try to act like you’re not cold? He’s trying to act casual as he rolls his eyes and offers part of the blanket he’s using with a gruff “here.” You scoot closer to snuggle up under the blanket, but you’re more focused on the smell of his cologne and his shampoo than the movie now.
Bonus points if you end up in a really close position as you both get comfy and sleepy. Your head lolling onto his chest as you blink groggily and swear that you’re not sleepy? Excellent. Narancia will tease you if you fall asleep on each other. Expect photos.
If you show up to one of Abbacchio's shows? Pushing your way to the front row wearing some cute alt/punk look? God his heart is gonna stop right there
If he has a vocal feature on anything they’re playing that night, he will be singing straight to you.
Maybe, just maybe, he seeks you out after their set, pinning you up against the wall and making out with you. He gets black lipstick smeared all over you
Before you both sit down and talk about what it actually is you’re both doing and feeling, expect a few makeout sessions when Narancia isn’t home— Abbacchio pulling you into his lap and kissing you breathless.
When you eventually do tell Narancia you might be interested in Leone and you think he might feel the same, your friend just rolls his eyes. “Finally. Now you two can stop eye fucking across the room, it’s disgusting.”
But he’s smiling when he says that and he’s seriously happy for you guys. Once he’s certain of his brother’s intentions towards you, he’s entirely on board. You’re two of his favorite people in the world, and as long as you’re good to each other and you’re both happy, it’s fine by him
Once you’re officially dating, Abbacchio makes sure to get a good luck kiss from you before every concert.
Anyway, I wish I could draw because Abbacchio wearing ripped up black jeans with a chain or two… punk bassist Abbacchio who has plenty of piercings, maybe even a tongue piercing? He lives in my brain rent free and I want to make it everyone’s problem because I refuse to thirst alone
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago
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inventory, m | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: You’re missing a piece of inventory from your erotica shop. Surprisingly, you find it in the same day. It’s around your boyfriend’s neck, who also happens to be your sub. Hm, well, you have to act accordingly, don’t you?
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; non-idol!AU; dom/sub dynamic; feels and there’s a decent bit of buildup; smut (mirror kink, spitting, cock ring usage, cock-slapping, scratching, spanking, vibrator use, overstimulation, edging, m-masturbation, cum eating, f-receiving oral); fluff; noona dom!reader x sub!Jungkook
technically part iv of ‘customer service’ series, but can be read alone
customer service part i | part ii | part iii
-
Jeon Jungkook was a problem.
Technically, your problem.
You tapped your pen against your recordkeeping book. No one was in the store. It was the middle of the week. Not usually the time to get freaky. People got freaky on the weekends. You usually spent these times doing the boring stuff. Setting up the deliveries for the rich customers that purchased clothing from you. Cleaning the store from top to bottom and finding some interesting fluids in interesting places. Typical. Answering emails, accounting, taking inventory. You were missing one piece of inventory, but those things always turned up eventually. You weren’t worried.
Eh, wasn’t a big problem.
Your big problem was Jeon Jungkook.
He wanted to be exclusive. Okay. He wanted it to be a relationship. Slightly less in your comfort zone, but you were willing to give it a shot. Unfortunately, Jungkook also wanted one more thing.
He wanted you to lose you temper at him.
Now, there were several things you, personally, did not do anymore. And number one on the list was losing your temper. You did not want to be in power and actively angry at the person you were fucking at the same time. It was dangerous. It was irresponsible. You’ve gone too far before and hurt your sub. You weren’t going to repeat it.
Not with Jungkook, no matter how much he tried to rile you up.
And he tried. Disobeyed you outright. Talked back. Taunted you. It took a lot of your skill and redirection to focus his attention elsewhere and not at his ultimate goal of pissing you off so much that you used sex as a weapon, because quite frankly, that was a fucked-up thing to do and you were not going to do it. You would rather leave than become that.
You told him this. You told him that he should not try to provoke you, especially not this early in the relationship. His body couldn’t handle it, he couldn’t handle it mentally, and you didn’t want to end up emotionally and sexually abusing him, even if it was an accident. Because it was your responsibility to not do that and you took that shit very seriously.
Jungkook had agreed reluctantly and he still tried.
Sigh.
You rubbed your forehead. If he was an experienced sub, then maybe you could be less strict. But he wasn’t. And yeah, maybe you were a little scared. Because your last relationship had ended very, very badly, because you had gone too far and your sub had been too scared to use the safe word even when it was too much and that really, really fucked you up. You regretted it, even after all this time, even after all the apologizing, even after your sub had forgiven you, multiple times.
You had never forgiven yourself for it.
The whole relationship had fallen apart because of that one time.
After that, you didn’t really date. All you did was have one-night stands with subs you already knew. It was easy having sex with no strings attached. Now you were dating Jungkook. Yeah, that. The dating bit. It was messing you up. It was making you overly cautious. You didn’t want to repeat your mistakes.
You let out a tense exhale.
You didn’t tell Jungkook about this, mostly because you didn’t want to admit it. You didn’t want to admit your sub had been too scared of you to use their safe word. You were ashamed. Scared of yourself and what you were capable of.
Sometimes, when you thought about it, you wondered if you should stop. Give up on the dom/sub thing and have vanilla sex instead with some nice guy who had a normal job and raise some babies and fucking chill out. Seemed nice. Life wasn’t about needing a power complex when being intimate after all. You could have a perfectly satisfying sex life with two people in equal power. Could even still be kinky without the whole ‘I’m the authority and you have to listen to me’ thing.
Yeah, well. Before you could commit to that, Jeon Jungkook decided to fucking seduce you in your own damn sex shop.
You placed your hands on your head and let out a big sigh.
Damn you, Jungkook.
-
You found your missing piece of inventory.
It was around Jeon Jungkook’s neck when he opened his apartment door for you.
Your face was completely neutral, one hand in the pocket of your black trench coat. The other holding your black leather briefcase. Underneath the coat, you wore a simple floor-length black skirt. Black heels. Nothing but your face and hands uncovered. In one second, you took in every detail upon seeing Jungkook.
One, his long black hair was tied back, his bangs framing his large brown eyes. Two, he was wearing a little bit of makeup. Slight amount of eyeshadow and liner, lip balm to make his lips pinker. Three, he was wearing a very low V-necked black t-shirt that was quite obviously meant to show off his shapely collarbones and sculpted pecs. The ink-black tattoos in his right arm stood out against his tan skin. Fourth, he was wearing leather pants – not the ones you made him, that would be indecent exposure showing up to the door like that – but, still, black tight faux leather trousers that he half-tucked his shirt in so his crotch was visible.
And.
Fifth.
He was wearing a black leather collar around his neck, one with a large silver ring hanging down at the center. It had silver studs with in the shape of a diamond pattern punched into the leather. It closed in the back with a silver buckle.
How did you know this?
It was your missing piece of inventory, of course.
You clicked your tongue.
“Oh! Noona,” Jungkook said nervously, biting his lip.
You little shit, don’t you ‘oh, noona’ me. You almost turned around and left. Almost. Irritation was putting it mildly. You were pissed. He had stolen from your shop. Became an actual fucking thief to get a rise out of you. You two weren’t going out on a date. It was already late, so both of you had intended on having a nice night in. He’d dressed up for it, as one does. Made himself pretty for you to ruin. Jungkook knew what he wanted. And he wasn’t being subtle about it, wearing the stolen inventory right in front of your face the second he opened the door.
He wanted you mad and he wanted you mad from the start.
You did not look at the collar. Instead, you stared into his eyes, furious internally, but completely placid on the outside. His brown orbs were observing you in anticipation. He wanted it. Bad. You had refused to let him cum last time because he had talked back to you. That was a week ago. You wondered if he had jacked off or not. You put no such restrictions on him even though he asked you to. You were curious on how far Jungkook was willing to go, so you let him choose.
And, clearly, Jungkook choose death.
Just kidding. But he was really testing you here. And so, you made up your mind.
You waited, raising an eyebrow.
Jungkook flushed and backed up, holding the door with two hands.
“C-Come in.”
You stepped inside, heels clicking on the hardwood. Jungkook closed the door behind you. The large, floor-length mirror was in the living room again. The incident in the fitting room must have really had an impact on him. Maybe he was developing a mirror kink because of it.
You felt Jungkook slide up next to you, his breath against your ear. Shallow, needy, already horny. You weren’t surprised. Nobody dresses like that and doesn’t want to be fucked.
“N-noona…” He was making his voice desperate and breathy, already submissive for you. “I really missed you.”
“That’s lovely to hear.”
You kept your tone light, no pet names, stepping out of your heels and walking towards the couch. Jungkook followed you like a shadow, still chewing on his lip, messing up his own hard work of making himself pretty for you. You placed your briefcase on the coffee table. He hovered as you undid your trench coat slowly, pulling open the tie and unbuttoning it deftly, fingers dancing on the placket.
“I can help you?” Jungkook offered, holding his hands out.
Your eyes gradually lifted, locking your gaze with his. You saw him visibly shiver in excitement.
“No need.”
You saw Jungkook pout as you slipped out of the coat, one arm, then the other, revealing the white dress shirt that was neatly tucked into your black skirt. It had pleated detailing down the front and silver collar pins, completed by the silver cuff links you used to close the sleeves. You folded the coat elegantly and laid it over the back of his couch.
“Are you mad, noona?”
You want me to be mad. Thankfully, at this point you had calmed a little. Yes, Jungkook was an idiot for doing such a thing, but he wasn’t doing it because he was trying to hurt you or actually steal from you. Maybe it was something he’d seen or read in porn. Maybe it was something his brain devised because he felt some weird need to prove to you that he was a good and obedient sub, because he knew you had previous partners and he wanted to outdo them or something. Maybe he wanted to see how much of a dom you really were.
And, most likely, it was all of those things.
“Jungkook.”
This time, you said his name with a sharper tone.
“Y… yes?”
You turned your right hand upwards, entirely aware of the placement of your fingers. Pinky, ring, middle curled inwards. Index up, thumb out. Poised, elegant, almost haughty. You flicked your cuff link, straightening the backing to slip it out. It was a diamond-shaped accessory, completely unnecessary for everyday life and completely necessary to force Jungkook to wait on you one more second. One more heart-stopping moment.
You glanced at his crotch. Hm. Interesting. Then you blinked and your eyes were on his. Hair hanging around his cheekbones, pupils dilating, swollen lips parted as he let out light pants of desire. He was slowly but surely losing it.
Maybe it was because his erection was suffocating in his leather pants.
You twirled your cuff link in your fingers. Jungkook watched the action, entranced by the dexterity of your digits. You knew what he wanted. He’d been texting you all day, trying to work you up. You had made him wait. Just like how you were making him wait now.
“What is your safe word?”
That was the question you used to start off the scene.
Instantly, you saw the relief, the hunger, the absolute need to serve flood his dark brown eyes. Now you were the dom. Now he was the sub.
“Euphoria,” Jungkook nearly moaned.
You nodded slowly, placing the cuff link on his coffee table. You upturned your other wrist, removing the other with a swift flick. You heard him whimper at the quick action. You almost smiled. He really wanted it. Ah, but you are a bad, bad boy, Jungkook. The metal clinked as it touched the walnut wood of the tabletop.
And there are consequences for being a bad, bad boy.
Your gaze connected with his once again. His eyes were practically begging for instruction.
“You look like you want to ask me something,” you drawled. His teeth sunk into his lower lip once more, the tiny mole underneath winking at you. “Go ahead.”
His eyes flitted about, trying to search for the trap. He swallowed, straining against the collar.
“Do… do you notice anything different about me?” Jungkook asked hesitantly, taking a step towards you.
You didn’t move from your position, observing him closely. His hands by his sides were antsy, itching to touch you or be caged with rope. You hooked your thumb at the base of your cuff and rolled it down. Once. Twice. Three times.
“You’re wearing makeup for me,” you replied, letting a small smile drift to your lips.
“A-ah…” He blushed. “Is it… is it too unmanly?”
Who the fuck put these ideas in Jeon Jungkook’s head? You just wanted to talk to them. And by talk, you meant flog the living daylights out of them. You had a big one at home. It could be arranged.
“No, of course not. You look very handsome.” Pause. “And fuckable.”
No reason not to tell the truth.
Jungkook’s cheeks flushed a dark pink. “T-Thank you, noona.”
During the entire conversation, you had folded the sleeves of your dress shirt up to your elbows. The stiff, crisp fabric held, and suddenly you were imposing, sleeves rolled up, black skirt skimming the hardwood floor. The neutral façade you had upheld for so long dropped away. Jungkook noticed the change instantly, even though you hadn’t actually said anything yet. His eyes widened a little, shoulders tensing.
Your eyes flashed, chin lifting.
“Or is that not what you meant, pretty boy?”
You did not hide the irritation in your voice this time. His breathing hitched, the muscles his arms ripped and Jungkook very, very much wanted to be punished.
“Um…” He fiddled with his hands guiltily, eyes skirting about. “It’s not what I was referring to, no…”
“Look at me.”
He snapped his head up, gulping. So obvious. His neck strained against the leather. You raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest.
“What were you referring to?” you questioned icily.
Jungkook was shaking all over. He lifted his hand slowly, reaching up to his neck, hooking two fingers around the metal ring of the collar. He tightened them, tugging down a little, eyelashes fluttering, a tiny moan rumbling in his throat. You were going insane on the inside. Fuck, did he know how submissive he was? Did he know how his small, cute little actions made him look so fucking appetizing?
“T-This.”
“Ah, yes,” you finally acknowledged. You waved a hand and he removed his, biting his lip again. “I did notice that. A nice touch. Is it for me?”
He nodded quickly. He seemed to forget for a second that he stole it from you. “Yes, noona, it’s for you.”
You sighed. Jungkook’s expression changed, becoming slightly confused.
“Pause.”
The indication that there was an intermission in the scene. You narrowed your eyes at him.
“You are testing me, Jungkook, and I do not like it.”
Jungkook’s brows knitted together, looking down. “I’m sorry, noona.”
“I told you that you shouldn’t try to make me angry on purpose.”
He closed the distance between you two, placing his hands on your elbows. His brown orbs anxiously found yours. “I… I just… please…” His fingers pressed into your skin, his breathing deepening. “I want to see how far I can go. How far you can take me. You won’t…” Jungkook shook his head, hair flying everywhere, ponytail bouncing. “You’re holding back, but I can take it, noona, I promise. I promise I can.” His fingertips caressed you, determination in his eyes.
Hm. Jungkook could tell. You breathed in deeply, inhaling his clean scent.
You are aware of your mistakes. You have learned.
You pursed your lips.
I really, really do not want to hurt you, Jungkook.
“You must promise me.” You looked deep into his eyes. “You must promise me, that if it is too much, if you cannot handle it, if it is not something you want, you must use your safe word.”
He nodded quickly. “I promise.”
And then you crumpled a little bit, your strict demeanor falling, the fears rising, the vulnerability making your voice quiver as you unfurled your arms and grabbed his t-shirt, shaking him roughly.
“No, Jungkook,” you pleaded. “You must promise me.” And you couldn’t explain, couldn’t bring yourself to say why, but he could tell how serious you were because you were suddenly weak, suddenly the parts of yourself that you kept under wraps revealed themselves, the parts you were ashamed of appearing, and you were letting him witness it. Because he said he wanted you. Not just dom you, but you.
And this, well, this was you too.
Jungkook’s eyes softened and he smiled. He leaned in and kissed you, long, sweet, delicate. It was like time stopped. As if the world froze and there was nothing but Jungkook’s lips on yours, reassuring and comforting. He drew back and opened his eyes slowly, warmth in his chocolate orbs.
“I promise.”
You looked up at him, stunned. He grinned at you, showing off his teeth, a little cheeky and embarrassed all at once. You removed your hands from his shirt, lowering them gradually.
“Sorry, I…”
Jungkook’s hands dropped and held yours tightly. He shook his head.
“No, noona. I understand. I know you are looking out for me,” he said brightly. “Because I’m always trying to get into trouble.”
A muscle in your eye twitched. At least he admitted it.
His teeth caught his lip, still smiling. Less nervous now, more playful.
You removed your hands from his. Okay. Okay, fine. Jungkook wanted you to be the dom. Not a dom, the dom. You let out a breath, controlled, clean. Step back into your role. You are in control. You can do this.
“What is your safe word?”
You cracked your neck, a sharp pop that made Jungkook jump.
“Euphoria,” he replied automatically.
“Very good.”
A beat passed. Jungkook remained close to you, unsure what was going to happen. His eyes wide and flighty, chin trembling, hands in front of his chest. You lowered yours, placing them behind your back. Piercing gaze on him, taking a step. His eyes followed you as you slowly circled him, speaking carefully and deliberately.
“So, Jungkook, tell me,” you began, skirt grazing the floor as your glided around him. “What makes you think you’re wearing the collar for me?”
Jungkook’s head whipped around quickly, following your movement with darting eyes. Damn, his ass looked great in these leather pants. He looked unconfident, brows furrowing, trying to conjure the right answer to get what he wanted.
“Um… I thought… maybe you might like it…” He stumbled through his words. “B-Because you like controlling me…”
You smiled at him. Jungkook brightened.
“I do.”
The eagerness beamed off his face as you stopped in front of him, still smiling pleasantly.
“I love controlling you.”
Then the smile dropped. The air around you became ten degrees colder with your shift in demeanor. Jungkook barely had a half-second to realize the change before your hand shot out and gripped the silver ring, yanking down harshly. He yelped, arms flying out, falling to his knees hard, gripping your skirt for balance. Your other arm was still behind you, folded into the small of your back. You narrowed your eyes, holding the collar ring so tightly that your knuckles were white.
His eyes flew up, pain and surprise.
You ticked your head. “But clearly, I’ve done a poor job, because you’ve gone and stole from me, you bad boy.”
Jungkook shook his head quickly, scooting himself forward, clutching your skirt tightly. “N-No, please, noona, I only–”
You yanked the ring up and Jungkook gasped, words cut off from the sudden jerk of his head snapping back. “You only what? Pickpocketed? Broke the law? Took my hard-earned money from right under my nose, to hurt me?”
“No, no, never,” Jungkook whimpered, looking up at you, blinking rapidly. “I don’t want to hurt you, noona. Never.”
“Then explain yourself,” you barked severely.
His eyes were turning teary, pleading. “I only… I only wanted to borrow it. So you could punish me and so I could show you I could be a good boy and take what I deserve.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Your other punishments weren’t enough?”
Jungkook’s lower lip quivered. The shame of his true intent was creeping in his eyes now.
“I… I wanted to see you angry, noona.”
“Even after I told you that you shouldn’t?”
He nodded, scurrying himself even closer on his now, most likely, bruised knees. Eyes on you, holding onto your skirt, whole body trembling. He angled his hips forward, showing you how hard he was in his pants, straining it even more by pressing his erection into the zipper of the leather. His lips open, black curls hanging around his face, almost pathetic but not quite, because you knew Jungkook was acutely aware of exactly what he looked like. Doing it to entice you, doing it to assure you that he wanted it.
“Y-Yes,” he admitted.
You forcefully let go of the ring, flinging him away from you. Jungkook squeaked, releasing your clothes as his body twisted to the side from your sharp movement. You swept your skirts away and took a step back.
“Noona, w-wait!”
Jungkook tried to scramble to his feet, but you snarled deep in your chest, making him freeze.
“Crawl.”
He looked startled, looking at you with wide puppy eyes. You took another step back. Jungkook followed you, on hands and knees, his bangs flared out, the low neckline of his shirt hanging down, revealing his chest. You could see his back muscles rippling under the fabric. Fuck, he was so handsome. You weren’t heading for the front door. You watched his mind calculate the angle of your body, mood lightening as he realized that was the direction of the bedroom. You, however, stopped at the floor-length mirror in the living room. Pointed to the patch of floor at your feet.
“Here. Now.”
Jungkook immediately complied, getting on his knees in front of you, hands between his legs, keen to please, facing you.
“Other way,” you clarified, sounding disappointed.
He lowered his head at his mistake and spun around, now facing his reflection. You glared through the mirror, making eye contact. He looked very sorry and very dejected. You almost forgave him just like that. Maybe Jungkook didn’t like this. Maybe you were being too harsh.
“Do you want to use your safe word?”
His eyes on yours. He shook his head lightly, not breaking your gaze.
“No, noona.” Your heart thudded in your chest at his tone of voice. “I’ve been a very bad boy.”
Jungkook licked his lips slowly, not looking away, the tip of his pink tongue lingering before sliding back into his mouth. He kept the same look in his eyes, but his actions were giving you the go ahead.
Shit.
You raised an eyebrow and lowered your hands. They floated above his shoulders and you were reminded of the first time, in the fitting room of your erotica shop, the moment he seduced you and pulled you into his pace. Jungkook tipped his head back, long hair sliding to his ears, the reflection of the stolen collar taunting you.
This brat.
Slowly, finger by finger, you placed your hands on his face. Fingertips pressing into his jaw, cheek, temple, into his soft skin, nails slightly digging in. Scratching up his pretty face a little, claiming it as yours. Jungkook had perfect bone structure, high cheekbones, sharp jaw, pretty forehead. He was panting, mouth open, hot breath drifting down. Hands on his thighs, clutching them tight.
You bent down, chin above his head so he could feel your hot breath on his scalp.
“My pretty boy,” you murmured softly. “Why must you be so bad? Do I not treat you well enough? Do I not give you what you love?”
“You do,” Jungkook whined in your hands, the guilt creeping into his voice. “You do, noona. Your pretty boy is… g-greedy.” He rolled his hips a little, spreading his thighs more, staring at his own reflection of his low-necked shirt and his thighs open, cock bulging in his leather pants.
Your fingers slipped down, down, tracing the leather collar. You let your index finger circle around the metal, not yet touching his chest, so close but so far. Jungkook kept trying to raise it into your touch.  Your other hand reached back and grabbed his ponytail, yanking his head back. He moaned right into your chin, too turned on to pretend he was hurt.
“I am going to my briefcase,” you stated, not looking at him under you and instead staring at his reflection, torso straining from how sharply you were forcing him to arch his back. “You are to remove your clothes. Whatever is left on you will remain for the rest of the night. Do I make myself clear?”
“Y-yes, noona.”
You abruptly let him go, striding to your briefcase swiftly, hearing a flurry of noise as Jungkook flung all of his clothes off. Snap, open, grab. You had already packed a black velvet bag holding the things you intended to use on him tonight. You spun around to see him practically ripping his leather pants off, the panic and regret evident on his face as he tried to shove them down his muscular calves. Smart boy had removed his underwear with his pants, smearing trails of pre-cum down his legs and onto the floor. You waited half a second for Jungkook to pop them over his ankles and he threw the pants to the far wall, so hard they made a loud slapping noise. Jungkook was on his hands and knees, panting, beads of sweat on his forehead.
It was actually hilarious to watch, but now was not the time to laugh.
Jungkook snapped his head towards you, eyes wide, his hard cock smacking his thigh. You raised an eyebrow at him. He gulped. Wearing nothing but the collar. Oh, he looked so good. You could tell him to get into position.
Or.
Tease him.
“Want to put my mouth on you, handsome boy.”
His cock twitched as his jaw dropped.
Your tongue slid out and stayed at the side of your lips as you spoke. “You look so tasty for me. When was the last time you came, Jungkook?”
His hands curled into fists on the hardwood floor, legs falling open, cock throbbing. The veins stood out against the hardness, head swollen and red.
“F-Fifteen days ago…” he whimpered.
He had denied himself. So cute. What a good boy. You smiled at him, still holding the velvet bag. “Really? You didn’t cum, not even once, without me?”
Jungkook shook his head rapidly, hair flying everywhere. “Wa… wanted to be tasty for you.”
You pouted a little. “Hm, that’s half a month. You waited so long.”
Jungkook nodded, chewing on his lip. You gestured for him to adjust his position and he turned his body to fully face you.
“Eyes on the mirror.”
He turned his head to face his reflection. Hands on the floor next to his ass, slightly leaning back, legs open.
“Look away and I’ll walk away,” you warned.
“Y-yes, noona.”
You floated down to the floor. He couldn’t exactly see you, but you slid into the frame of the mirror, right between his legs. The velvet bag was out of his sight, next to his leg, but Jungkook wasn’t paying attention. He was staring at his stiff cock and your proximity to it, holding his breath. You collected your saliva on your tongue and opened your mouth. It dripped down in a thin, slim line, hitting the angry red head of his cock and causing it to jerk at the sudden impact, coating it.
“A-ah, s-so good…”
“What do we say?” you purred, collecting more.
“T-thank you, noona,” Jungkook moaned, watching as you dropped more onto his aching cock, splattering onto his crotch. You lowered your head, closer. Closer. Jungkook sucked in a breath, waiting, needing, trying not to move. You made eye contact with him in the mirror.
“You’re a bad boy, Jungkook.”
And then you spat on his balls.
His head tipped back as he groaned, eyes barely open as he watched himself, chest shuddering as he felt it trickle down and onto the floor below. You spat on his genitals again, more force this time, spraying it across his cock and stomach. He cried out, slamming one of his fists onto the hardwood.
“Y-yes, noona, I’m a bad boy.”
And then you produced a cock ring seemingly out of nowhere, eyebrow raised as he wailed loudly.
“N-no, please, please don’t,” Jungkook panicked as you brought the black silicone ring closer and closer to his now saliva-drenched cock. “Please, I promise to be a good boy, please don’t do it…”
You said nothing, simply placing it on the engorged head and using three fingers to hold it, pushing down slowly.
“Noona, a-ah… no…” His eyelids fluttered, eyes on the reflection of his thick cock being viciously squeezed into the silicone ring. He let out a choked sob as it popped over the bottom of the head, sliding down, down, all the way to the base. You barely touched him, removing your hand as Jungkook shuddered, his pulsating length now bound by the black band.
You raised your head. He was still, very obediently, staring at the mirror.
You smacked his cock with your palm.
Not hard, but enough to make it bounce and for Jungkook to squeal, hips rising as his dick shook from side to side, unable to move much from the tight cock ring. He was making it move more by rocking his hips, heightening the feeling of being bound.
You waited until it stopped swaying.
“Your neighbors will hear you, Jungkook,” you said calmly. You turned your head and looked into the mirror. His eyes locked on yours, pupils dilated, strands of hair clinging to his sweaty face. “Should I gag you?”
“N-no, noona,” he whispered hotly, breathing shallow and tight. “They have to know I’m being punished. B-Because I’ve been b-bad.”
Good gracious, Jungkook.
Your panties instantly soaked. Who was losing it here? Was it him or was it you? Fuck.
You slowly smacked his cock back and forth, back and forth, staring at his face in the mirror. His head tipped back, not closing his eyes, moaning wantonly as his stiff length was roughly shoved around, barely any pressure and too much at once because of how hard he was. You stopped, watching his cock bob, almost purple-red now. Pre-cum beaded at the tip.
You couldn’t help it.
You leaned down, tucking your hair behind your ear so he could see, and gave the slit a tiny kitten lick.
Fuuuuuuuck.
Jungkook lost control, eyes rolling back into his head, and you almost moaned, his strong, intense taste all over your tongue. He tasted so good. So fucking delicious. You pulled back, pretending not to notice that Jungkook had looked away from the mirror as he quickly collected himself, back to staring at his reflection. You grabbed his hips and dug your nails into his skin, dragging him so his body was tilted.
“Flip over,” you growled.
You backed up, taking the velvet pouch with you as Jungkook obeyed, on his hands and knees now.
“On your face.”
Jungkook whimpered, lowering his cheek to the cool floor, leaning against it. Now his ass was up in the air, vulnerable and exposed.
“Both hands on the ring.”
His teeth sank into his lower lip, scooting his hands so he held the silver collar ring with fingers on both hands, arms against the floor to hold him up. His cock stuck straight down, stiff and swollen, trapped in the silicone circle. You waited to let Jungkook readjust his knees to be more comfortable and so he could see everything. The muscles on his back tensed with anticipation.
“I didn’t cover your mouth for a reason.”
“Yes, noona,” Jungkook breathed.
You raised your hands and raked your nails over his back, all the way to his ass. Hard, deep, leaving lines of pink and red, almost breaking the skin. Jungkook moaned, tongue sliding out, body shaking, eyelids fluttering. You did it again, and again, creating your pattern of lust on his back.
“Mine,” you growled possessively. Your eyes locked with his.
Thump.
Had anyone ever looked at you with so much adoration before?
Jungkook nodded.
“All yours, noona.”
You slapped his ass with your open palm.
He yelped, shoulders hitting the floor, face sliding a little against the wood. Pupils dilating, whimpering for more. You smacked him again, and again, and again, never the same spot, always with the full palm, all over, causing large red handprints patterned all over his ass. Jungkook was a groaning mess, legs slipping, the head of his cock touching the hardwood.
You stopped.
His ass was bright red, covered in your slaps and scratches.
Jungkook opened his eyes. He seemed to realize he wasn’t looking at his reflection anymore. He panicked, seeing your glare in the mirror, and tried to raise his hips, but your hand stopped him. The tip of his cock was in contact the floor, dripping pre-cum.
You pressed his hips down a little and shifted them from side to side.
Even the little stimulation of the head against the hardwood made Jungkook moan, pleading with you as he desperately clutched the collar.
“Noona, p-please… Please let me c-cum…”
You removed your hand. Jungkook continued rubbing himself in his own puddle of pre-cum on his living room floor, as you predicted. You didn’t stop him. You reached into the velvet pouch again. Jungkook’s eyes had fluttered closed as he continued stimulating himself, probably not enough, but he didn’t seem to care. You pressed the thing in your hand onto his scrotum and turned it on.
“A-ah!”
Jungkook’s hips flew up, balls suddenly shaking violently from the bullet vibrator in your hand. He shut his legs, sticking his ass out into your hand as he gasped, pressing back into the vibrator as you lazily drifted it around his balls.
“Oh, fuck, noona, oh, fuck!”
He was still holding onto the collar somehow as he tried to get more, wiggling his hips, but you were faster, grabbing his ass with one hand and digging your nails into it.
“Stop.”
Jungkook froze, whimpering and panting on the hardwood, cheeks hollowed out, eyes glazed over.
You traced his asshole with the tip of the vibrator.
His eyes rolled back, tongue lolling out.
“Oh, please, noona, put it in me, p-please…”
You drew figure-eights around his asshole and his balls, calmly.
“I bet you would love that, but you’ve been a bad boy, so I don’t think so.”
Jungkook whined, shaking his head, dark curls fluttering, soaked with sweat.
“P-please, I’ll be good, I need it, I need you to do it, fuck, please.”
“No.”
You pressed the vibrator into the cock ring and Jungkook nearly screamed, cutting himself off by snapping his jaw shut and yelling into the floor, hips jerking in your hands. You kept it there for a good five seconds before you removed it and backed up, reaching into the velvet bag again. Jungkook had maybe one shaking inhale before you gripped him under his armpits, hoisting him up.
“Let go of the ring,” you commanded, and his hands dropped, helping you get him to his knees. His bruised knees. Still, he leaned against you, soaking your clothes with his sweat, spreading his legs out more so his body lowered and your head could be seen past his shoulder. 
You reached down and removed the cock ring, Jungkook gasping in relief. It rolled away, now forgotten.
“Get yourself off.”
“B-but, noona…”
Your hands appeared and pressed against his nipples, turning on both bullet vibrators at once.
“Get. Yourself. Off.”
“F-fuck!”
His hand immediately flew to his cock, viciously pumping himself as you rubbed his nipples with the toys, his groans rumbling in his chest with the vibrations, so strong, so intense, his tan skin glistening with sweat, arm tattoos dancing as he stroked himself fast, his cock so hard it was purple now, veins popping out.
And, like the masochist he was…
Jungkook grabbed the head and squeezed firmly, cutting off his own orgasm with a wail.
You responded just as fast, dropping your hands and shoving the vibrators against his balls, twice as much stimulation as before. His head fell back against your shoulder, half-moans, half-screams of your name as he bucked into them, working himself up once again, your breath against his neck, your eyes watching Jungkook’s reflection – his shaking legs, his balls cupped in your hands, his abused and overstimulated cock popping in and out of his tattooed hand, his now inflamed nipples, sweat dripping down his neck, long black hair flared out against your cheek, the mole under his lower lip trembling with his cries.
Fuck, he was everything. Everything you ever wanted.
“Ah, noona, yes, yes, you’re so good to me, so good…”
“Cum on the mirror,” you demanded. “Cum all over yourself, pretty boy.”
Jungkook whined, snapping his head back down, feeling you increase the vibration setting on his balls and that was it, the tipping point as he sobbed out your name, shooting all over the mirror in large splatters of white, jerking his hips so it traveled higher, sticking onto the reflective glass, all over his reflection.
And he watched it, moaning, so entranced by his likeness covered in his own cum, dripping down in slow smears, messy and dirty.
You turned off the vibrators, withdrew your hands from him.
“Lick it off.”
Jungkook was exhausted, wheezing, hoarse, and yet he still removed his hand from his cock, crawling to the mess he made, pink tongue flopping out, licking his own cum off the mirror, eating it up with groans of satisfaction. You watched him, fascinated, surprised he even listened to you, surprised he was still going, because honestly at this point, you really thought you had gone too far, but Jungkook was enthusiastically making out with his own face with his orgasm at your command, and loving every second of it.
“Jungkook.”
He pushed himself away from the mirror, immediately coming to you, his dark brown eyes hazy with pleasure. He dumped himself in your lap. You still wearing all your clothes. He looked up at you, lips curving into a naughty grin.
“I love it when you turn me into your plaything.”
This guy.
“What do you want?” Jungkook panted. “I’ll do anything. Anything for you.”
Oh, that’s right. You had spent so much focus and energy on Jungkook that you completely forgot about yourself. How did that happen? Ah, but you were so tired now. You let out a puff of disbelief and slid down to the floor.
“I want a nap. Get back to me tomorrow morning.”
-
You woke up slowly to something wet and hot between your legs.
Can I wake you up by eating you out tomorrow morning?
If you brush your teeth.
Really?!
If you brush your teeth, yes.
Your fingers curled into the sheets, breathing in Jungkook’s scent. His bed. His tongue against your opening, softly lapping, burying his nose into your core. You pursed your lips, sighing softly. The tip of the wet muscle slid up, licking at your clit. You pressed your hips into his face and the large hands around your thighs tightened, holding you closer.
He moaned, so hot, right into your pussy.
Your hands released the sheets, sliding across the fabric, up your hip, tracing his fingers. Eyes still closed, feeling for his long hair, clean, fluffy, wild from sleep. Burying your fingers in the strands, pressing him down into you.
“Ah, Jungkook…”
He licked faster, lips closing around your clit, pushing his head into you as he pressed your thighs into the sides of his face. You could feel his cheekbones, his jaw rubbing against your skin. Felt his wet warmth, rapidly rubbing your sensitive nub.
“That’s a good boy,” you purred and he whined, vibrating your pussy with the sound.
Your fingers tightened in his hair and you hissed, gliding into your orgasm, dripping into his mouth as your clit throbbed against his tongue, pleasure flooding you like a warm blanket.
You finally opened your eyes, breathing out as you saw Jungkook’s handsome face between your legs, cleaning you up. He kissed the insides of your thighs, nuzzling your skin. He seemed to feel you watching him and his eyes looked up, bright, doe-like, chocolatey. His pink lips glistened with your release.
“Noona?”
“Mhm?”
“Can I keep the collar?”
You raised an eyebrow. He smiled at you, playful, naughty.
“If you pay for it,” you replied, half-joking.
His tongue flashed out.
“I can pay in cash and in orgasms.”
You laughed as Jungkook dove down between your legs once again.
--
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shyficwriter · 3 years ago
Text
Temporary Home: Chapter 3
Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)
Summary: Just as things start looking like they'll get better, Rocket seems to ruin it. Hopefully this time he learns something.
Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning
Author’s Note: Shorter chapter this time.
Word Count: 4,075
You might have slept in after having taken a middle-of-the-night walk, but your body had other ideas, waking you up right at seven A.M. Probably had a little something to do with eight strange people living in your house. Who's to say?
Breakfast today went smoother than yesterday. Nothing was spilled, no one was bit. It was almost nice.
However, afterwards you found yourself at a loss for what to do. You knew the garden was already free of weeds from where you weeded the day before, so there went that idea.
Sure, you could sit and relax, maybe try to get to know your new house guests, but you were still feeling too antsy and irritable to do that. You wanted something to keep your mind busy.
Eventually you settled on laundry. The machine was half full anyway and so you went upstairs to grab the hamper from the bathroom and threw it's contents in. Unfortunately you'd need to wait for the clothes to finish washing before you could hang them or fold them, but you supposed maybe you could sweep the floor while you waited.
You finished the kitchen much faster than you would have liked, and so you decided maybe you'd sweep the upstairs landing and work your way down.
You had swept about halfway down the stairs when Peter and Gamora decided to walk up the stairs about the same time as Mantis decided to walk down the stairs, hugging her bear. Upon seeing Peter and Gamora, Mantis then further decided to show them the "wonderful bear" you had given her before bounding down the rest of the stairs and out the front door.
They looked to you as she left, and you blushed and looked down at your task at hand. "Don't read too much into it. Just- you know... Thought it'd keep her from crawling in my bed at night... Seems to have worked."
"Right," said Peter, throwing a cheeky grin at Gamora. His tone was overly inquisitive when he spoke to you next, "Say, would you know anything about the toy car Groot found waiting in his room last night?"
You quickened your sweeping down the stairs. "I should really finish up here. Got other work to do."
Gamora looked pleasantly intrigued, and Peter lightly chuckled as they continued up the stairs.
You were grateful the sitting room was empty when you went to sweep in there, but you were also soon dismayed to have finished the chore so quickly. The washer still had a good chunk of time before it'd be finished and now you were once again left wondering what to do.
Might as well clean the bathroom.
More dismay befell you when you entered, however. Someone hadn't flushed. Again. Know who doesn't have to worry about house mates not flushing? People who live alone.
In disgust, you flushed for whoever the offender was, making a mental note to make a general callout to whoever it was to stop it, before getting a start on cleaning the bathroom.
The washer was finally done by the time you finished, and you jumped on the chance to grab a basket and bring the clothes out to the line. Sure, you had a dryer, but hanging them would keep you busier for longer. You put in your earbuds so you could listen to music while you worked.
Once outside you noticed that's where most of the others had gone. All but Peter and Gamora where in the back yard enjoying the sunshine. Yondu, Kraglin and Drax were shooting the breeze while Rocket pushed Groot on the little wooden car, which was just big enough for him to sit on, down the stone garden path. Groot would squeal in delight until he reached the end, then he would cheerfully run back carrying the car for Rocket to do it again. Mantis had discovered the rope and plank swing hanging from the old oak tree and was gently swaying as she cuddled her bear.
You made your way toward the clothesline on the other side of the yard and faced away from them as you went to hang the clothes on the line.
You were about three towels in when Kraglin taps you on the shoulder, making you jump. You turn to face him and pull out an earbud to hear what he was saying.
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle ya, ma'am!"
You frowned, embarrassed. You were usually never this jumpy, especially not on the job, but this whole new situation has been playing with your nerves.
"Would you like some help, there?"
You shake your head, reaching down to grab a shirt to hang on the line.
"Well, would ya like some company?"
You come back up from the basket with another garment and raise your eyebrow at him.
"Not much of a talker, eh?" Kraglin said, starting to feel a little awkward. He was trying to make nice with you, but you weren't giving him anything and he didn't really know what to do. He told himself it'd be easier if you were someone he was trying to steal from. Cap'n was better at stuff like this.
You shrug.
"Well, I just wanted to say it was real nice what ya did for the little fella and the girl."
You look at him, already feeling a blush returning, and repeated what you said to Peter and Gamora earlier. "Don't read too much into it." You reach down to pull another garment.
Now Kraglin frowned. He tried to think of something else to say. Maybe he could break the ice with a joke? "Say, you ever hear about the guy who couldn't get his blaster to fire?"
You raise an eyebrow.
"He had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual."
You tilted your head. "Was that a joke?"
Kraglin made a grimaced grin and rubbed the back of his head, "Ah... yes?"
"Hm." is all you offer and you return to work.
Kraglin tries again. "What about the one about the constipated Krylorian?
You didn't look up. "I think your friends are calling for you."
Kraglin, missing the hint, "I didn't hear-"
You look up, the look in your eyes sending a chill through the former first mate. "Oh yes, they did."
He got the hint.
***
"She turned you away so fast!" Drax laughed when Kraglin returned.
Kraglin shook his head. "Apparently she's not a big talker. Actually almost kinda scary." He glanced back toward you briefly as if to make sure you stayed there.
"Scary?" Drax asked, perplexed. "But she looks all small and weak like Peter, or you?" He shook his head. "You are terrible with women."
"Hey!" Kraglin objected.
Yondu grinned.
"And I wasn't trying to get her into bed! I was just trying to break the ice is all."
Drax looked at you then back at Kraglin in confusion. "It's too warm? There shouldn't be any ice to break?"
Yondu shook his head and said, "No that's- Nevermind."
***
When hanging laundry you noticed some white mushrooms were starting to spring up around one of your clotheslines poles, and unfortunately you couldn't quite tell if it was the safe type or the poisonous type. You might have left it alone, but knowing the little tree child was running around now, you wanted to be sure. Just in case. You told yourself you just didn't want to clean up his vomit if he ate them and got sick.
You knew you had a book on mushrooms, so after you finished hanging the wash you headed inside and towards the sitting room to find it.
Everyone had long since come inside and now Yondu, Drax, Kraglin and Peter were already in there, playing a game of cards at the table while Mantis curled in the rocking chair reading a book of children's fairytales.
You stood there looking through the titles of your books, trying to find the right one, when suddenly you felt a pair of hands fluttering at your sides. You jerk with a gasp and spin around to grab the hands of your attacker and see that it's Mantis.
"Mantis- what are you doing?" You say, your tone laced with a gentle warning. You didn't release her wrists yet.
"You seemed grouchy. I wanted to make you laugh!" She replied cheerfully, not alarmed in the slightest by your tone.
You raise an eyebrow at the innocence of her answer. Eyeing her you say, "I'm not ticklish," before cautiously releasing her and making a shooing gesture. You turn back to the books.
Peter quietly catches Mantis's attention and with a grin nods in your direction, encouraging her to do it again. Yondu sees this and shakes his head softly, grinning at the mischief.
Not twenty seconds go by before you feel her hands at your waist again, and again you jerk with a gasp before spinning to catch her again. "Mantis," you say more warningly. Now Drax is grinning.
You hear snickers coming from the table and Kraglin says, "I think you are." It was funny to him. Just awhile ago you were almost scary in your stoic-ness, now you were jumping and shying away from Mantis's attempts to tickle you.
You glare at them but ignore him. "Mantis, go back to your book," you say firmly.
Mantis just giggles but finally starts backing away as you eye her.
Assuming you're safe you turn back to the bookshelf. You soon find the book you were searching for and reach up to pull it from the shelf when you feel it yet again, this time along your ribs. You jerk your arm down with a small squeak and turn to grab Mantis's hands again, your eyes wide. "I swear I will turn you over my knee!" You threaten, a faint giggle in your voice making you sound a whole lot less threatening than you wished at that moment.
The guys are snickering again and Mantis innocently asks what that means.
You sigh and release her. You had no intention of doing it anyway, it just came out. Something that your elders used to threaten when you misbehaved as a child. "Go." You say, pointing at her forgotten book in the rocking chair. "Read."
Seeing mirth glistening in your eyes despite your threatening tone she obeys with a happy giggle and you turn once again to retrieve the book you had come for. Louder snickers could be heard from Peter when you stopped your motion halfway to turn and check that she wasn't coming back. You narrowed your eyes at him before finally grabbing your book and leaving to do your research.
You found the mushrooms weren't poisonous after all.
***
The next day you decided to practice your archery.
Rocket was still being a shit, being rude to his friends and to you, and he kept fighting with Gamora and Peter. Kraglin somehow managed to break one of your favorite mugs. You found out that apparently Drax had been the one not flushing, and that was super awkward. You left Peter to deal with him. You tripped over Groot's vines at least five times. Mantis managed to startle you so bad you nearly had a heart attack (Though in her defense you had your music in so you didn't hear her approach to ask you a question) Then there was Yondu, who you felt like he was watching your every move.
Needless to say, you were looking to blow off some steam.
You had a target set up behind your work shed and along the wood line of the forest. You pulled about 20 practice arrows and your bow from the shed and walked behind to aim at your target.
You had been out there maybe an hour or two, just shooting the target full of arrows, gathering them up, and then shooting them again, all while you listened to your music.
You had emptied your quiver again when you felt a hand on your shoulder and nearly decked Peter, catching yourself just in time when you saw it was him.
You caught your breath and scolded him. "Don't DO that!"
"Sorry! Sorry! You couldn't hear me with your music in so I waited until you ran out of arrows." he reasoned. To be fair, it was a good idea. You probably definitely would have shot him with one if he snuck up on you like that before you ran out.
You sighed. "What do you need?"
"Nothing. Just, we hadn't seen you for awhile. I thought I'd see where you went. I know it was a little rough with everyone today."
You only grunted in response, going to collect your arrows.
He followed. "Look, I just want to apologize for everyone. I know you didn't need to let us stay-"
You cut him off. "Didn't I? Seems like Fury made the decision for me."
"Cut the crap."
You turn to give him a hard look that said, 'The hell did you just say?'
Peter backtracked slightly. "I mean, I was clearly there the day Fury sprang this on you. You offered before he told you he had already decided. You can't try to tell me now that you don't give a crap."
You narrow your eyes before turning to continue on toward your arrows. "Hell if I can't."
"Well I know better."
You reached your target and started pulling arrows. "You don't know me at all. You haven't even been here four days."
"Ok, that may be true, but we can still try to be friends since we're all stuck together, right?"
You stare at him a couple moments while you pulled the rest of your arrows, before huffing a breath through your nose and looking down.
"You need some time alone with the thought. That's ok." Peter said, relenting. "Just know the gang's not normally like this. They're still adjusting." He lied. He knew they were totally like this, but he was still hoping maybe they'd settle down enough to not make you hate them.
You sighed. He had a point. Maybe you shouldn't be avoiding them as hard as you had been. Maybe if you made an effort to be friendlier this whole situation would go smoother. "I suppose..." you began, "that maybe I have been a little..." you struggled for the right word.
"Grouchy? Scary?" Peter offered lightheartedly. "Like the crotchety old person they try to make you think is the masked monster in Scooby Doo, but it turns out to be some other guy that wants to scare them out of their house?
"Watch it." you say eyeing him, but your mouth twitched. He was right. Perhaps you had been a little 'crotchety.'
"Careful, that was almost a smile." Peter teased.
You broke your gaze toward the ground so you wouldn't actually smile. You weren't ready to let your guard completely down yet. It only half worked.
Peter grinned. It seemed like his plan to chip your shell away was working. Slowly, but still. Progress was progress. He turned to walk back towards the house.
"Hey," you spoke up.
He turned back to face you again.
"You hungry?" you ask. You offered to cook again. Stipulating that it was just because you were bored again, nothing fancy, and you weren't going to make a habit of it or anything, of course.
Peter nodded and smiled, accepting the offer as you joined him to walk back to the house, stopping just long enough to put your bow and quiver back away in the shed.
***
Peter offered to help cook again, and again you declined, stating that you were only cooking spaghetti and it was like the easiest thing to make as you pulled out a pot and filled it with water.
He didn't press it. Baby steps. He had already succeeded in getting you to (almost) smile, he wasn't going to push his luck. However...
You place the pot on the stove and turn on the flame when Peter says, "Ok, but one thing before I go."
"What's that?" you ask, stepping away from the stove to grab the salt container from the cupboard.
Peter took full advantage of you reaching up to quickly aim a poke to your sides, making you jolt with a squeak.
He quickly went to run away, almost knocking into Yondu who had walked into the kitchen for a drink.
"Dammit!" you cry out, unable to hide the surprised laughter from your voice. "You behave or I'll put you in that pot!"
Peter laughed. It was totally worth it.
Yondu just looked at him with a 'What the hell!?' expression, asking, "Why is it funny when she says it?"
***
The pasta was nearly done and you had started working on the sauce when you realized you had run out of dried basil. Knowing you had some fresh out in the garden you decided you'd hop out for a quick second to grab some. The flame under the sauce hadn't even been turned on yet, and you lowered the flame under the boiling pasta just out of habit before you went outside, so you trusted that leaving the stove unattended for five seconds would be fine.
However, fate had other plans.
While you were cooking Groot had convinced Rocket into another game of tag. Whether he deliberately disobeyed or simply forgot, you'd never know, but as he was running from Rocket he ran straight through the kitchen, and Rocket didn't stop him.
Didn't stop him has he climbed on the counter.
Didn't stop him as he jumped over to the table.
Certainly didn't stop him as he hopped onto the vent over the stove, though he most definitely should have.
Maybe it was arrogance on Rocket's part that he could make the jump, or even just sheer ignorance over his ability to keep a grip on the sloping metal, but as Rocket pursued Groot, always just slightly behind the tree child, and he made the jump from the table to the vent hood, he slid, and tried to correct by pushing off the (thankfully cool) saucepan, which knocked the pot off sauce off the stove as he lifted off with a loud clatter as it hit the floor.
Groot was fine, having by now hopped off the cabinet onto the floor. Rocket regained his footing, clinging to the cupboard above the stove as he surveyed the damage.
He knew he fucked up.
That's when you came back inside. He saw your face as you took in the mess, looked over to Groot, and then looked up at him.
He really fucked up.
The rest of the team also heard the clatter from the sitting room a few quickly came to see what had happened.
You didn't notice. You only saw red.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!"
Rocket started to reply with something snarky about not getting your "panties in a bunch" and how it could be cleaned but you cut him off before he could.
"He's made of wood!"
Rocket was slightly taken aback. "What?"
"That stove was- IS fucking lit." You reach over to shut off the burner under the pasta, side-stepping the mess. "What if he had caught fire? Or what if you knocked over the other pot? What if that fucking pot of boiling water had landed on either of you?! Do you even understand what that would have done to you?!"
By now the rest had heard you yelling and came to join the others in standing in the doorway to see what all the commotion was about. You still didn't notice them, you were too angry.
Rocket attempted to speak again. "I-"
You weren't finished. "I get it, he's a baby, he's still learning, but YOU most definitely should know better! But no! You think it's ok to play with him around a lit fucking stove! What the actual fuck! I swear, you're about as thick as manure but only half as useful!"
Rocket looked at the others in the doorway with wide eyes, not quite sure what to say. There was no way around it. This one was on him. They wore shocked expressions but also didn't say anything. Little Groot looked terrified at the (to him) giant angry lady screaming at Rocket.
You took a step back and finally assessed the mess. "And then there's all this!" you say, gesturing at the red tomato sauce now splattered all over your floor, your cupboards, the table & chairs, your stove. There was even sauce splattered on the window above the sink and the curtains, not to mention the walls. It was as if a tomato bomb went off in your kitchen.
You pressed the ball of your hand to your forehead. "You know what? No. I'm not dealing with this. Nope." You open the fridge, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. It was only then you saw the others standing in the doorway. You look to them, gesturing toward the pantry with the bottle. "Figure out your own damn supper." is all you say before walking out the back door and slamming it behind you.
Peter was the first to speak. He skipped asking Rocket what he had done, it was obvious by the red splattering the kitchen. Instead, what he said was more of a statement. "You really fucked up, man. You made her leave her own house."
"Should we go after her?" Drax asked. Mantis just stared at the giant mess as she hugged her bear, eyes wide. You had been very angry.
Yondu and Kraglin could see you out the back window, taking a swig from the whiskey bottle as you headed for the forest, much like you had the other night -minus the drinking of course. "No," said Yondu, "Probably a bad idea. Let her go."
Gamora agreed, and turned to glare at Rocket, demanding that he get down and help clean up the mess he had made.
Rocket actually looked kind of guilty looking toward the back door you had just left through. He didn't even argue back anything snarky, just did as Gamora asked without a word, which didn't go unnoticed as odd to the others.
He could have handled it if you had just yelled at him for making a mess. Could have shot back that you were uptight, had a stick up your ass- it was just a mess. Messes could be cleaned. Shit happens. Get over it.
But what he couldn't handle was that your first words, your first instinct, was to be angry that he had endangered Groot by allowing him to play near the stove. That he couldn't snark at- because you were right. What if Groot had caught fire? Or fell in the boiling pot?
He'd never forgive himself.
***
Hours had passed and half the bottle was gone before you finally returned.
Even in your drunken haze you saw that the kitchen had been cleaned, every trace of the tomato explosion gone. Even your curtains had been washed, dried, and re-hung.
You went to put what was left of the whiskey bottle back in the fridge, and saw someone had been kind enough to plop the pasta in a covered bowl and set it in the fridge so it wouldn't be wasted.
Not that you gave a shit.
Right now you wanted to sleep, and so you made your way to your room and collapsed on the bed.
Sleep didn't come right away. You faced the wall and covered your mouth, trying to hold back sobs from your anger, frustration, and sadness over everything. Even still drunk you had the presence of mind to know you didn't want anyone to hear you cry, especially since one of your new housemates was currently sharing your room and sleeping not two meters away.
The raccoon was a right asshole, the worst of the bunch. You wanted to strangle the little fecker, but knew you wouldn't. What you really just wanted was to be alone again, to bury yourself in work like you had before all this happened. Anything to keep your mind on other things-to push down the painful memories of your past that were now rudely breaking through your whiskey-addled brain and out your eyes.
Sleep did eventually come, and if you didn't know better you could have sworn you heard a gentle voice softly whispering, "Sleep," just before you passed out.
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