#eh he's probably fine/j

[half-dead-writer]

you wouldn't guess when I got the idea for the headcanons

SPTO cast painting your nails headcanons

characters: Scott Pilgrim, Wallace Wells, Young Neil, Matthew Patel, Gideon Graves, Ramona Flowers, Kim Pine, Roxie Richter

words: 1295

reader: gender neutral

warnings: none

𝔯𝔲𝔩𝔢𝔰 + 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 / 𝔖𝔠𝔬𝔱𝔱 𝔓𝔦𝔩𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪 𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢𝔰 𝔒𝔣𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

Scott Pilgrim

oh boy

don't let your hands anywhere near him /j

has like, no experience at all

has no idea how to hold your hand so it's the easiest to paint it, in the end would probably just tell you to lay it on some flat surface, leaning over and squinting while smearing the polish anywhere but your nails

his hands are not used to being so carefully maneuvered (aside from playing games, that is)

he'd insist on finishing at least one of your hand even if you decided to stop in the middle just to prove he can do it

"Hey, it doesn't look... that bad...?"

if you offered to paint his nails, he'd be pretty hesitant, but eventually gave in

if anyone asked him about it, he could always ramble about his partner doing it for him and how he's such an awesome boyfriend that it doesn't bother him!

2 out of 10

Wallace Wells

not to be stereotypical but

babe. he's gay

even if he's inexperienced, he has the patience to do it

would carefully hold your hand while focusing on the task

don't talk to him if you want him to do it well though, he has to have no distractions or else he'll go over the line

in the end he's pretty chill about it tho

"Maybe I should look for a job as a manicurist sometime, eh?"

has no troubles letting you paint his nails if you want, staring at you with a calm smirk as you're focused on your job (he thinks it's cute)

10 out of 10

Neil Nordegraf

he didn't expect his hand to be so coordinated (well, as much as it can be, given he never tried anything like it before)

very focused on not going over the line

he thought it was a pretty fun experience

staring intently at your hand, then his own ... "You think you can do mine now?"

you're excited to show him all the colors he can choose from (unless you don't have that many, in which case he'll take anything)

he's not ashamed of having his nails painted but they'll probably disappear after like few days

he'll simply scratch them off when he's bored and looking for stimulation

but hey, you can paint them again!

5 out of 10

Matthew Patel

probably already tried painting his nails before so he has some experience, but don't count on miracles

tries his hardest

gently holds your hand, has this intensely focused stare on his face

almost shushes you if you try to make some conversation in the middle of it (he must concentrate so he can make it as good as can be!)

"Hold still! ... ugh, now it's on your finger-" quickly wipes it off "Just let me-- AGAIN?!"

you reassure him it's fine

he's adamant that they will be perfect, that his work will be perfect (it isn't)

but he tried

would die if you held his hand and painted his nails though

if he noticed your nails wore off, he'd offer his services again (he asked his girls for help getting better at it!)

5 out of 10

Gideon Graves

doll (/gender-neutral), he doesn't have time for that

if you convince him it's gravely important for you, he might budge

you're lucky he loves you

the end result might even make him proud, who knows?

it doesn't

it really doesn't

you make it look so easy, why is it so damn hard for him!?

probably gets pissed off and curses after the 3rd time of going over the line

now it's personal, he will finish his work, he doesn't give up

his determination would amuse you if he didn't look so serious

will shush you if you try to tell him it's not a big deal

IT IS A BIG DEAL TO HIM!

you start to regret you even asked after spending wayyy too much time with Gideon aggressively scrubbing off the nail polish of your nail each time it doesn't look right

finally, after at least 30 minutes of him getting frustrated, he's done

and... it's... something??

he calmly raises his glasses that fell on his nose during the ordeal, pretending as if he didn't just waste 30 minutes of his life on this task "You're welcome."

won't do it again, don't ask

okay, maybe if you challenge plead him enough, he will

as for you painting his nails... forget it! he's too busy for that (he probably has trauma from his experience)

but maybe, if you ask again in a few days, telling him how it's your way of expressing your love, how no one would even see them and he might just scrub them off later, he might entertain himself with the possibility of it happening

you paint his nails black, the only color he allows you to pick (he's too manly for anything else)

he looks at his hands, both painted to the best of your abilities...

alright, maybe it doesn't look as bad as he expected

might even dig it a little??

you won't see it on him the next day though, he can't let anyone but you see them

4 out of 10

Ramona Flowers

I think out of all the people, she would do your nails the best

she paints her nails pretty often herself, so she's got some skill in it

pick any color! she probably has a lot of them, to match with her ever changing hair

she'd make you both tea beforehand

her cup would probably remain almost untouched, she'd be too focused on making sure that the nail polish doesn't go anywhere other than your nails

when she's painting her nails alone, she'd usually put on some radio so it wouldn't be so quiet

but with you, it's rare for the room to be silent

it's easy for you to get invested in any topic with her, no matter if it's just trivial gossip or complaining about some people she met during her work

you make sure to compliment her great work

she smiled warmly, "...It's not a big deal."

feel free to paint her nails! even if you're not as skilled as her, she'll appreciate it regardless

10 out of 10

Kim Pine

she has the patience for it, probably some experience as well

pretty calm approach, you're free to talk to her or listen to some music in the background while she's working on your nails

might have some really old nail polish somewhere in her house, but I wouldn't count on it still being usable

she'll just steal one from her roommate

her skill might use some adjustment, but overall, they look real nice! the errors are barely noticeable

would love to see you struggle while trying to paint hers if you aren't as good

probably would throw in some smartass quips here and there, but it's all in good fun

"You went over the line like 10 times... But I still like it." she says, observing her freshly done nails

8 out of 10

Roxie Richter

(not) surprisingly she rarely paints her nails (she's too busy being a ninja!)

which makes it a bit hard for her to keep in line

but she's got the spirit

even if there's a lot of distractions, like some song playing in the background and her rambling your ear off, she'll try her best

what counts is for you both to have a good time!

and she will not disappoint

the painting session probably takes longer than usual due to your giggles filling the room every few minutes

"Hey, do mine now!" she reaches out her hands excitedly as soon as yours dry off

hopefully you're not too distracted by your girlfriend's gushing about how she's gonna love the end result

4 out of 10 (10 out of 10 in the fun scale!)

[tsamsheadcanons]

Solar is Bi and he knows it, but he just stays quiet.

Here’s how Earth found out >:3 :

They were doing one of their knitting sessions and chatting while working out the animals. The conversation somehow moved to Earth and Monty’s relationship, and then to the fact she doesn’t care about what gender Monty is because they’re a good partner to her. (PAN! She must’ve been hit with one at creation because she’s so pan- (this is a joke, but she is pan in my book.))

Then Earth just kinda casually asked what he was into and he just kinda answered “eh, doesn’t really matter.” Earth did apologize almost immediately after being like “I’m so sorry that was probably rude to just ask” even though Solar was fine with it.

Anyways, this is not really a headcannon anymore I suppose, since they addressed it in the Sun and Moon podcast video thingy, but uh yeah I’m not late you’re late. Who said anything about me being late? /j

Love to hear about Solar and Earth bonding

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Silly antics | {KokuZan}

Theme: Floof? Sillies?

Note: I like feeling bad when I don't satisfy everyone's needs /j (i'm sorry for not writing KokuZan for so long and since I can't find it in myself to write a 1000 word oneshot, so have a short one for the time being)

×××

"How do you look like in your final form?" Kokushibo asked curiously.

He lay on his back, Muzan sprawled on top of him, a blanket draped over the two lazily. They had been lying here for a while now, bored as they waited for the sun to set.

Muzan propped himself up with his elbows, placing one on either side of his boyfriend's torso. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm just wondering," Kokushibo commented, his eyes flicking down to meet Muzan's. "You talk about it a lot, but I've never seen it."

Muzan smirked. "Because you would drop dead at how amazing I look," he teased, adding a slight toss of his head at the end.

Kokushibo laughed. "I'm sure I would."

"Anyways, I only plan to use it if necessary. Which will probably not be the case," Muzan remarked, laying his head on his Uppermoon's chest, closing his eyes.

"Ah. Can I see it anyhow?" Kokushibo asked, his arms snaking down to Muzan's waist. 

"Ehh, later," Muzan said dismissively. 

"Alright." Kokushibo sat up, moving Muzan's legs around his hips and pulling him into a kiss.

Muzan flushed, pulling away. "The hell was that for?! I wanted to lie down!"

Kokushibo raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you the one who can read my mind?"

"Yeah... But you did ask for some privacy! So I've been resisting it," Muzan insisted. "I'm not reading your mind 24/7."

"Mhmm," Kokushibo hummed, placing a light kiss on Muzan's bottom lip, smiling vaguely. "Your loss."

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Muzan whined, wrapping his arms around the Uppermoon's neck and resting his head upon Kokushibo's shoulder.

"Hm. If you read your mind, you would see a beauty marking every corner of it," he said, placing a kiss on Muzan's cheek.

"Eh?? Who?!" Muzan said, suddenly suspicious.

Kokushibo laughed. "You, idiot," he said affectionately. "You get jealous? Didn't realize it." (muzan is so me)

"Fuck off!" Muzan said, huffing. He pulled away from Kokushibo, crossing his arms. His cheeks were brushed with pink and he looked like a child—pouting. 

"Mm, I don't think I'll do that," Kokushibo said, kissing Muzan's jaw tenderly.

"...Stop kissing me!" Muzan ordered.

"Why?" Kokushibo asked, leaning back against the mountain of pillows he'd placed behind him earlier.

"Because... Because..." Muzan tried. "I hate you!"

"Mhm. I love you too."

"Fuck you!" he complained, pushing Kokushibo down so he slipped off the pillow mountain and fell onto the floor.

"I can fuck y-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Muzan shouted, his face redder than his eyes.

Kokushibo burst out in laughter, scooting towards Muzan again and patting him reassuringly. "I'll stop," he said. 

Muzan huffed. 

"Okay, let's do something else. Will you show me your final form now?" Kokushibo asked, tilting his head.

"...Fine," Muzan decided, standing. 

"Alright. Do I have to, like, move back..?" he asked.

"Uhh... Good question," Muzan said, placing his hands on his hips. "I don't know."

"I- What?"

"I've never showed anyone, I usually do this in private just to test out what I can do or some shit," Muzan said, waving it off. "Nevermind, just go outside of the room and I'll tell you when you can come back in."

"Why?-" Kokushibo asked, although he headed towards the door.

"Because my final form is embarrassing, and I don't want you to see me transforming," Muzan exlpained, pushing him out and shutting the door.

Kokushibo waited patiently for a couple minutes until he heard Muzan shout, "You can come in now!!"

Kokushibo turned and opened the door, walking inside. He froze when he saw Muzan there, his top half bare and bottom half and arms were pitch-black. His hair was long (would it be white? In the manga, he was confused why it was still white (which ended up being the bc of his aging)) and wavy, and he had what appeared to be many mouths scattered upon his body.

"Ah," Kokushibo said, at loss for words.

"What kind of reaction is that?!" Muzan whined, shutting the door and pulling Kokushibo towards him.

"Uh. I don't know," Kokushibo admitted. He slipped a hand behind Muzan's ear, drawing his head up to look at him. "Mm, you did stun me with your beauty—or amazingness, as you'd said."

Muzan turned beet red. "You said you would stop!"

"I lied," Kokushibo murmured, kissing him gently. 

"You little fucker," Muzan hissed between kisses, though he didn't protest any further as Kokushibo pulled him down to the futon they'd been laying on, running his hand through the long, white locks. 

×××

« Word count: 762 »

I was so suddenly apt to keeping this chapter short that i ended it randomly💀

love you alllllllll<3333 

[howlingday]

Weeping Knight,Grimm Knight, or Arcwitch?

Ooh, boy... Heck of a selection, huh? Jaune and the three "MILFs," eh? Alrighty. Let's talk about these three ships.

Weeping Knight/Willow's Knight/Frosted Knight

Normally, this would be your classic "pool boy/lonely housewife" trope in adult works. Hell, some people jump at the idea of giving Jacques Schnee the NTR treatment because, well, he's Jacques Schnee. And there's also the fact that Weiss didn't show interest in Jaune in Volume 1 (completely understandable, by the way) and this is some form of payback for that.

But I say, NUTS TO ALL THAT! You could definitely craft a loving story about Willow finding love again after not having it for so long and Jaune isn't just some horny young adult looking for a woman with experience. You could instead look at Jaune for what he is, which is basically walking medicine. He's healing Willow and she's relishing in the attention she's receiving.

Also, one of my favorite Willow x Jaune art pieces I see is Weiss going full emo/goth in response, and Jaune is like, "I'm not trying to replace your dad, Weiss! I'm just trying to be there for you and your family!"

Score - 8/10 if not written like a MILF porno

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grimm Knight/Death Knight/At The Stake

This one is another old school trope of "what if the hero and the main villain got together". There's a lot that can go into this, whether Jaune becomes evil, Salem becomes good, or some unique scenario in between. Honestly, I find this ship both cute and wholesome when it's done well enough. Of course, there's lewds of this too, because apparently when Mommy Salami stayed too long in the oozie jacuzzi, her body didn't change from when she was in her 20s.

Still, this is a very cute ship and I like just about everything I see of it. Probably my favorite version of this ship I saw was when Ozpin sent Jaune to kill Salem, and she ends up marrying him and sending Oz the wedding invite. (Yeah, it's a self-plug. Big whoop, want to fight about it?)

Score - 9/10 just don't think about the potential Philip J. Fry effect

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Arcwitch

Since there's only one name to this, it stands to reason that this is the most famous of three, likely due to the fact that this was the first Jaune x MILF ship ever made. Unfortunately, this also makes it the more... problematic, just from the trope alone. The classic "hot for teacher" idea that becomes an actual crime when applied to the real world.

However, that doesn't mean that there's no good works with this, though it's mostly lewds pertaining to the couple. The best example of this ship I've seen is in Professor Arc, in which Jaune sneaks into Beacon as a teacher and he and her develop a very close relationship. Although, there's still a bit of an ick factor to it, but that doesn't mean that this ship can't be done well since it's a confident older woman with a more timid younger man. Overall, I think it can be a good ship.

Score - 7/10 and the ick keeps me from going higher.

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IN CONCLUSION:

If y'all wanna have Jaune be cute and romantic with an older gal, that's fine. Just, y'know, don't be weird and creepy about it. Course, won't stop me from writing these ships either. Never compromise your standards for the worse and KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

[tanked-up]

Fake Dating + Only one bed trope :)

(I know it’s long, but it’s worth it I promise - pt1)

—————————

Ghost: Remind me again why we’re doing this, capt’n?

Price: Just grab the intel with Soap and head back.

Ghost: Okay… but a ball?!

Soap appears all dressed up: Have you not been to a ball?

Ghost: Do I look like a man who’s been to one of those fancy parties, Johnny?

Soap: Eh, anyways… ye’ like it?

Ghost: Like what

Soap: My outfit!

Ghost: Oh. Well, uhh… it’s agreeable.

Soap: Ye’ kidding, LT

Price: Alright boys, enough with the chit chat. Get on goin

Ghost sighs: Alright, come on-

Soap: Wait, are you going like that?

Ghost: What’s wrong with this

Soap: It’s not formal, at all

Ghost: I have another change of clothes, I’ll wear them when we arrive to a hotel.

Soap: Wait- We’re staying at a hotel!?

Price: Where’d you think you’d be staying, Soap? Plus, change clothes, you will be arriving late and probably won’t have time to go to the first event of the party.

Soap: Alright, capt’n

Price: Also! I forgot to tell you both. Now, I know this might cause a bit of… tension, or anger between the two of you…

Ghost: Great, the surprises keep on comin

Soap: Just listen.

Price: Okay, so there’s only one bed.

Ghost: Come again.

Soap: Hm?

Price: You heard me fellas. Now get going

(Price drags them both out of the room)

Soap: Wait but-

Ghost: I’m gonna get ya for this, capt’n

——————————————————————

(In the limousine which Price had to rent as a disguise of course)

Driver: Alright boys, bit of a change in route.

Soap: What do you mean?

Driver: Where heading to the hotel first.

Soap whispers to Ghost: Enough time for ye’ to change, LT. No excuses now

Ghost: Fuckin hell, Johnny.

Soap: Also… about the bed. I can sleep on the floor-

Ghost: You’re sleeping on the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.

Soap: No! Ye’ know your trouble for sleeping, the beds the best opt-

Ghost: Johnny. Don’t be a pain in my ars and give me a headache. Your sleeping on the bed, and that is final.

(They both stay quiet for the rest of the trip to the hotel)

——————————————————————

(2 hours pass)

Driver: Alright, we’re here.

Ghost: Good

Driver: Let me help you with the- Is he asleep?

Ghost: Oh, seems like it

Driver: Want me to wake him-

Ghost: Don’t bother.

Drive: You know this is a rental, right. I don’t have all night-

Ghost: Don’t. Bother.

Drive: Okay then

———————————————————————-

(In the room)

Soap: Sorry for falling asleep earlier-

Ghost: It’s okay.

Soap: Man it’s cold

Ghost: What is this.

Soap: Ye’ve got to be kiddin me.

Ghost: You heard Price, right?

Soap: Yeah! He specifically said “Hotel”

Ghost: Son of a bitch

Soap: This is a junkyard. Maybe we’re in the wrong place?

Ghost: I’m too tired to argue, let’s just get some sleep.

Soap: Whatever ye’ say…

Soap: Why’s there’s a bunch of Newspaper on the floor?

Ghost: Beats me. I’ll find someplace comfortable-

Soap: LT.

Ghost: Soap, no

Soap: It’s just for tonight!

Ghost: No! You take the bed, it’s more comfortable

Soap: But, then you’ll be uncomfortable.

Ghost sighs: I don’t care, besides, I probably won’t even sleep.

Soap: Fine- You heard that…

Ghost: It sounded like a squeak…

Soap: If there’s a mice, I will literally burn the whole place down, I’m not kidding, LT

Ghost: I’ll help ya

—————————————————————————

(3:30 am)

Soap: Are ye’ awake?

Ghost: Hm?

Soap: Are ye’ okay and comfortable?

Ghost: Since when the carring?

Soap: C’mon, LT… this beds big enough for both of us.

Ghost: Johnny, I said- Oh Shit

Soap: What?!

Ghost: Fuckin splinter

Soap: That’s it, I’m draggin you

Ghost: Soap- no

Soap: Fine, then I’ll sleep on the floor as well.

Ghost: You’re pissing me off, Johnny

Soap: Good

(Soap proceeds to lay besides Ghost, on the wooden floor)

Soap: This floor creaks a lot.

Ghost: Mhm, why can’t you just let me be on the floor.

Soap sighs: I feel, bad. Ghost

Ghost: Why bad?

Soap: It’s just… that you’ve done so much for me, and your always there besides me, and then there’s me always screwing stuff up and dragging ye’ with me-

Ghost: Johnny-

Soap: Ye’ know I’m right, LT… and now you here on the floor, it’s just- seems wrong. You’re always giving me the nice things and you end up with the worse.

Ghost: I’m used to it-

Soap: It’s not that! See, that’s exactly why I wanna change that. I need you to feel loved, and appreciated…

Ghost scoffs: Loved is the last thing someone can gift me, Johnny

Soap: You don’t seem too tough to love…

Ghost: Is that so?

Soap: What I meant was-

Ghost: No no, you’re just the first person to ever say that to me…

Soap: Oh… well, I- I’m happy?

(Ghost let’s out a small chuckle)

Soap: Did I just make ye’ laugh…?

Ghost: Maybe

Soap: Does that mean there’s a heart capable of loving, inside ye’ Ghostie…?

Ghost: Go to sleep, Johnny

Soap: With pleasure.

[sergeantsporks]

Witch Switch: All of Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

That's a wrap on Episode 1! Episode 2 should start coming out around May 1st; see you then!

Transcript underneath the cut

Cover: Portal Door

[Open on Phillip, waiting outside school with Jacob Hopkins]

Jacob: [completely unprompted] So I was watching this video—

Phillip: Oh, god, here we go.

J: —about underground witch rings that still exist throughout the world—

P: They’re called neopagans, and they aren’t underground. Also, witch “rings” aren’t a thing, they’re called “covens.” Which you’d know if you got your information from literally any reliable source.

J: Yeah, well, anyway I was thinking, what if there are some in Gravesfield? I mean, how would we know? I’m pretty sure the museum curator is a witch, so we should investigate the—

[Cut to Phillip, exasperated, holding his arms in an “x”]

P: There’s no “we” here, don’t rope me into this. Leave Masha alone. So what if they’re a neopagan? There’s no such thing as a “real” witch with “real” magic. They’re not hurting anything.

[Cut to Jacob, incensed]

J: You might not believe it, but I know what I saw! Witches and demons walk among us, and—

P: [disembodied] Oh, look, my ride is here, bye, Jacob.

[Car pulls away from the curb, leaving a fuming Jacob]

[Inside the car]

Caleb: Aw, was that one of your friends?

P: No. Just Jacob.

C: Seemed like you guys were having a nice conversation!

P: He was suggesting breaking and entering so that he could collect evidence that the museum curator is a witch and should be burned at the stake, because he’s an idiot who doesn’t even know that witches in America were hung, not burned.

[Cut to just Caleb, worried]

Caleb: Oh. Um. Don’t do that, please.

P: [disembodied] I’d drop dead before going along with him. He just hangs around the guys, he’s not really our friend.

C: Ah.

P: [perplexed] Hey, you missed the turn.

C: Yeah, you’re coming to work with me today. You can do your homework there.

P: Is this because of what happened on the field trip?

C: No, no, nothing to do with that. It’s just…

[Cut to tense, worried Phillip]

C: [disembodied] There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.

[Cut to inside of Robin Roast. Caleb sets a coffee in front of Phillip and sits down]

Caleb: So, Phillip… What do you think of Evelyn?

Phillip: Eh. She’s fine. I guess. If you like her.

C: You’re not just saying that?

P: Did she snitch about me not letting her in right away? I swear I couldn’t hear her. (lying).

C: It’s not about that, Phillip. Although you need to be more aware of your surroundings when I’m not home—especially if you know someone’s coming.

P: Yeah, okay.

C: I know you didn’t use to like Evelyn very much, so I just wanted to know what you thought of her now.

[Cut to Phillip drinking his coffee]

P: Mhm.

C: [disembodied] And… I wanted to know what you would think of inviting her to join our family

P: [spits out his coffee]

[Phillip wipes his mouth, incredulous]

Phillip: WHAT?! You can’t marry Evelyn!

Caleb: [disembodied] Why not? We’ve known her for 4 years now, and I’ve been dating her for 2.

P: Uh—no. She knows us. We don’t actually know anything about her!

[Cut to floating cartoon heads of Caleb and Phillip, Caleb going from confused to varying levels of defensive while Phillip grills him]

Caleb: What are you talking about? Sure we do.

P: We don’t know where she works—

C: She works in a pawn shop… or thrift store or something… I think.

P: —we know nothing about her family—

C: Oh, come on, you know better than anyone that family can be a touchy subject.

P: —She disappears for weeks at a time-!

C: She’s visiting family!

P: The family we’ve never met?

C: They live far away! And… I think they have bad reception out there? (I can never get in contact with her when she’s gone…)

P: You’ve never even seen where she lives! Probably because she keeps the ripped-out-hearts of the other guys who proposed to her under her floorboards!

C: Don’t be gross, Pip. I thought you were fine with her?

[Cut to regular style Phillip]

P: I’m fine with her as she is now, because you like her. I don’t want her to live with us. Ever. Besides, we don’t have the space for it

[Cut to Caleb, amused/apologetic/cunning]

C: Well… if we did get married, we’d probably move into a two bedroom. You’d get your own room! That would be pretty great, right?

P: [disembodied] Oh, so this is all for my benefit now? Not because it’s something you want?

C: No, it’s definitely something I want, I just figured… you might like to know some positives for you, to see how it’s good for both of us. Oh, hey, you wouldn’t be alone at home so often.

P: I don’t want company if it’s her. And I don’t need a babysitter—geeze, this is about the field trip, isn’t it?!

C: It’s not! Hey, look, I already talked to Manny about it, and he doesn’t think it’s a bad idea, in case an outside opinion helps. I know it’s a weird new thing to think about. But I’m not going to jump in right away, I promise. Let’s give the idea a couple of days to simmer, give you some time to get used to it, and—

[Cut to Phillip, who’s stood up abruptly]

P: It doesn’t need to simmer! I’m not okay with this! I will never be okay with you marrying her, even if everyone in the world thought you should!

[Cut to Caleb, who looks hurt and annoyed]

C: Oh, yeah? Even if your “friends” dared you to be okay with it? [his face immediately drops]

[Cut to upset Phillip whirling around]

[Cut to Phillip running out the door of the café while Caleb stands in the door, reaching towards him]

C: Phillip, wait!

[Phillip is gone from frame, and Caleb pinches his nose]

C: …Shit.

[Phillip runs through Gravesfield, upset]

Phillip: He can’t marry her, he can’t, he can’t, he can’t!

[He finally stops near the old, abandoned house, hiding behind a tree and clutching his head]

P: Ohhhhhh what was I thinking, storming out like that? Having a screaming match in public like a toddler? What if the guys find out? Stupid, stupid, stup—

[Phillip hears a rustling sound]

P: What…?

[he peers around the tree to see Evelyn with a big bag, looking around, very suspicious. Phillip gets a lightbulb moment]

P: Oh, I knew she was shady! I knew it!

[Buzz from his pocket]

Text from Caleb reads: Pip, please come home. We can talk about it later, just please stay safe until I can get to you.

[Phillip sneaks up to the house, peering inside holding his phone]

P: I just have to get proof she’s breaking the law, and then Caleb won’t even think about letting her in the house, let alone marrying her! Evidence, then home, then…

[Cut to the portal door]

P: [disembodied] What the…

[Manny and Camila are taking a walk through the neighborhood. Suddenly, Manny pricks up, taking a turn down to the old house, leaving Camilla behind]

Manny: Hey, Phillip what are you doing out—

[Cut to the inside of the house. Phillip glances behind him at Manny’s call, then pushes forward through the portal, which closes behind him just as Manny reaches the house]

M: …here…

[Camilla catches up]

Camilla: What’s going on?

M: [confused] I thought I saw…

[Cut to empty room]

M: [disembodied] …ah, never mind. I’m sure it’s nothing.

[Cut to Phillip, absolutely flabbergasted. Wide shot of the Isles, Phillip very small in it]

P: Where the HELL am I?

[End Part 3]

[End of Episode 1]

[havendance]

I finished reading Simone's run on Batgirl (2011) today, and it feels a bit like I'm reaching the end of an era for the new 52 between the upcoming change of directions for her and Dick and Birds of Prey coming to an end, so I figured it was time for another check in.

Batman -- I have already written extensively about Zero Year. I probably have another post or two in me about it if I can pull together the brainpower. It looks like there is ANOTHER Joker event coming up in Batman: Endgame soon. Woohoo. Sigh. Scott Snyder I do not actually dislike your writing, but why?

Batman and Robin -- The Two Face arc was fine. The thing that really through me off though was the fact that the description for the trade for this arc was like "what's the connection between Harvey Dent and Carrie Kelly?" and then Carrie Kelly didn't show up at all? Am I missing something? What is the timeline on this story?

Birds of Prey -- I am not particularly sad to see this one go. This whole series was just all pretty eh in my opinion. I didn't really care about most of the plot lines. I did like Strix, but I really don't have much else to say about this. The best Birds of Prey content honestly comes from whenever Simone dragged them into Batgirl which I think is not very surprising.

Batgirl -- Barbara's fighting Vampire's all of a sudden? Around the same time as Kate's Nocturna drama? It's not even October. Anyway, I did still enjoy the Batgirl: Wanted trade more than the Deadline trade, but this was still enjoyable enough. I really liked the second Annual with Poison Ivy (see my note about Simone writing the best new52 Birds of Prey content despite not writing Birds of Prey). I am of mixed opinions of Helena Wayne Huntress getting brought into the Deadline storyline because it's very much a 'we're homaging the Birds of Prey trio' storytelling decision, and like Simone created that trio, it's her final issues on Batgirl, she has the right to do that! But also they have none of the history and it makes me sad because I miss them and Wayne isn't Bertinelli :( The final confrontation with Knightfall also felt a little anticlimactic and I just know that the plot threads with Barbara's old roommate is about to get completely dropped which is a shame. I am also a little sad that it ends with Barbara asking Alysia to come with her when I know she's about to get stuck on a bus. Alas.

Anyway, this also collected the Batgirl: Futures End issue which, uh, was a story.

Batwoman -- There is a clear drop in art quality when J. H. Williams left the title sadly. The Rafael Albuquerque covers are very good though. As I said previously, it's a shame that Andreyko is under marching orders to break of Kate and Maggie because I like the way he writes them together. I'm curious how the title's going to go for the final arc, because the plots that weren't the Kate-Maggie drama were less interesting and now that he doesn't have that. I suppose the title does end in like 6 issues.

Nightwing -- Nightwing's Chicago era was really fun and I am sad to see Kyle Higgins go. I may have had some beef with him over the fact that he burned down Haley's Circus twice in a row, but he wrote a good Nightwing. It's a shame he was stuck in thew new52 because I would've liked to see what he could do with a Dick Grayson who actually had all of his history.

[ssruis]

Tbh I think a case could be made for An having fun while being a hall monitor. It's just this type of fun:

/j but I also think while she was Sick of it she didn't completely hate it because if she did she'd just... Quit. Like maybe not outright quit but she would have the gut to way "Hey I'm not doing this anymore" to her committee and I think they'd be fine with it. Soft quitting her committee duties like she did in On your feet!, she could do that much earlier if she didn't enjoy at least some part of the job but didn't. Which has to count for something. And also Rui and An both had fun at the cheer squad which you could plausibly tie into the song. But it's not happening anyway so it doesn't matter I'm just rambling lol. But yeah Tsukasa is definitely enjoying himself and An definitely isn't so you are correct. Co-signed even

Also Akian flopping is entirely too funny. They flopped at their archive cover because Akito sounded So Bad and the mixing was terrible and we still don't know what happened there. Their Egoist duet was so bad the game actually had to re-do it because they skewed line distribution and Akito basically got to only sing back vocals to An (which I thought was funny & girlboss & queen move of her but yeah objectively it wasn't great). In comparison to these ones Echo is fine but it's very early into the game launch so neither of their VAs have "got" the role yet so it just kinda sounds awkward. I'm twirling my hair and sighing and giggling at this phenomenon because How Does This Keep Happening. Like they usually are on the "ok" to "amazing" scale when singing lines together in regular comms/covers but the moment they're left alone something goes Wrong. Fascinating.

(also I think even with fixed line distribution their Egoist cover is Not Good which is not surprising given the fact that I think it was Imai that said they had a lot of difficulty with singing Gekokujou's repeated rhythm parts and Egoist has a lot of those? I'm not sure who said that actually but eh. But An slayed the solo Gekokujou anything so we still don't know why this happened)

YEAH… like was it a blast for her no would she do it again also no but if she really truly despised doing it she would probably also hold at least some animosity towards ruikasa. I think the first part works well for rui and an and then as the song goes on it fits less and less.

I forgot about the gimmiexgimmie archive cover… go gang give us nothing. Banned from the kitchen for life never cook again. Also obsessed with clpl having to update egoist… patch notes: gave akito back his rights. An locked akito out of the recording studio and he had to shout his lines through the door. Toya revoked some lines because he failed a test and akito had to get his grade back up to get them back.

[world0fmadness]

BLOODLUST

tomas “ samoth ” haugen x reader

♡ nsfw alphabet for samoth!

୨୧ why are black metal men so handsome? can someone explain that to me, pretty please with my GG cherries on top? <3

♡ related hc available here | view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: thy eternal flame by funeral winds - black metal by venom

* 18 + content, please do not read if you’re a minor *

a = aftercare ( what they’re like after sex )

♡ similar to faust, samoth is really attentive when it comes to aftercare! especially because he can be quite rough

୨୧ right after he pulls out, he lays down next to you and gently traces any bruises forming on your body, asking if you need anything or want any ibuprofen before going to get you some if you do!

b = body part ( their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s )

♡ he absolutely loves your tits, i’m sorry… he just cannot get over them, especially if they’re on the bigger side… he loves watching them softly bounce as he thrusts into you! its a guarantee they’ll be covered in bite marks and hickeys after fucking samoth

୨୧ he likes his hands! they’re much bigger than yours and he loves how they look gripping your tits

c = cum ( anything to do with cum, basically )

♡ similar to faust, samoth likes to cum on you! almost always shooting his cum on your tits and watching as it drips down…

୨୧ but due to him being an exhibitionist and you guys having a lot of public sex, he can’t always cum on you so he does the next best thing and cums in you! usually always taking your underwear, if you’re even wearing any, and making you walk with his cum slowly making it’s way out of your cunt and down your legs

d = dirty secret ( a dirty secret of theirs )

♡ i can’t really see him having many secrets at all, let alone dirty ones! he’s super open with you about things

୨୧ but if i had to say anything one would probably be that when he first met you, he got a major boner from just staring at your tits as they bounced when you walked towards him and had to go jack off in the bathroom, imagining how his cock would feel between your tits

e = experience ( how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing? )

♡ he’s probably the most experienced of all the emperor members just due to him being the most confident and outgoing

୨୧ he’s not a sex god but he’s definitely had a couple hook ups and knows the basics of what he likes and doesn’t like

f = favourite position ( this goes without saying )

♡ to be honest, he’s just a big fan of missionary!

୨୧ it’s the easiest position for you guys to do when you’re in public, he’s able to get as deep as he possibly can and he has an amazing view of your tits

g = goofy ( are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? )

♡ he’s very serious during sex, he doesn’t really make jokes at all! the rare times he even laughs is usually when degrading you, just chucking before he calls you a desperate whore as you moan under him

୨୧ the only other time i could see him being more humorous during sex is when you’re both half drunk! he’d probably just let out some breathy chuckles as he’s getting undressed

h = hair ( how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? )

♡ samoth is very well groomed! he takes a lot of pride in his looks and hygiene

୨୧ he’s not completely shaved but he’s shaved enough so that it never irritates you when sucking him off or whatever!

i = intimacy ( how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect )

♡ he’s not super romantic… he likes degrading you and talking down to you! calling you his desperate little whore, holding his revolver to your head and so on

୨୧ the only times he’s ever really romantic is on your guys’ anniversaries when the sex is softer and instead of calling you filthy names, he’s telling you how much he loves you and how beautiful you are

j = jack off ( masturbation headcanon )

♡ eh, he’s kind of uncaring towards jacking off! he thinks it’s fine, he’ll do it if he has to but doesn’t think there’s anything that special about it

୨୧ on the rare times you’re not with him and he wants to get off, he’ll jack off whilst imagining you and looking at nude pictures you’d taken for him

k = kink ( one or more of their kinks )

♡ i expand on his kinks a lot in kinky business but i’ll put them here without the expansion

୨୧ gunplay, exhibitionism and bondage

l = location ( favorite places to do the do )

♡ he absolutely loves fucking you in public! he gets off on the risk, seeing people pass you two as you struggle to keep your moans in, some of them very clearly knowing what you two are doing

୨୧ you guys have sex in cemeteries a lot! mainly at night because then he can fully strip you with a lot less worry about other people seeing his girl fully naked… seeing your tits bathed in the moonlight glow and surrounded by death is one of his absolute favourite sights

m = motivation ( what turns them on, gets them going )

♡ he’s not super easy to get turned on, just sitting on his lap or making gestures towards him won’t phase him at all… he’s very strong headed

୨୧ but anything to do with your tits? that’s when he crumbles! you’re sitting on his lap in a bar and move his hand under your shirt and up towards your tit? yeah, his facade falls so fast and he’s dragging you off to an alley or something

n = no ( something they wouldn’t do, turn offs )

♡ he’d never share you, never ever!

୨୧ he might like public sex and the thrill of other people seeing you two getting down and dirty but no way would he ever let anyone else feel your cunt wrapped around them… so watching is fine but laying a hand on you? no way

o = oral ( preference in giving or receiving, skill )

♡ he prefers getting sucked off by you than eating you out…

୨୧ he’d never say no to eating you out if you asked, he just doesn’t think he’s that great at it when he absolutely is

p = pace ( are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? )

♡ sex at home? his thrusts are slow and rough but so damn deep! he nearly pulls all the way out of you every time, slowly dragging his cock back out of your walls with only his tip remaining inside of you before slamming back in

୨୧ but when it comes to quickies and public sex? he’s so fast, jutting his hips into you at lighting speed whilst your heels dig into his back

q = quickie ( their opinions on quickies, how often )

♡ he loves quickies! he’ll bend you over and take you anytime he wants

୨୧ it’s either bending you over or sitting you up somewhere, throwing your legs over his shoulders and dragging your shirt up to see your tits as he pounds into you

r = risk ( are they game to experiment? do they take risks? )

♡ oh he’s all for takings risks! he’s very overly confident and convincing, he couldn’t give a shit about consequences

୨୧ it’s the same with experimenting, he’ll always be trying new stuff with you as long as you agree! new kinks, positions, locations and so on

s = stamina ( how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last? )

♡ he’s got quite a bit of stamina! more than enough to thoroughly please you anyways

୨୧ you guys usually go for two or three rounds, lasting half and hour or an hour each but if you wanted more he’d definitely give it to you

t = toys ( do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves? )

♡ does his revolver count as a toy? i think it does

୨୧ he absolutely loves using his revolver on you… wether it be teasing you with it by dragging the cold steel across your nipples or actually fucking you with it, pushing the barrel in and out of your cunt as the steel glistens with your juices

u = unfair ( how much they like to tease )

♡ it’s rare that he ever teases you, he doesn’t enjoy being teased himself and finds it to just be a drag

୨୧ the only way he really teases you is by joke teasing, like when you’re fucking in public and he whispers in your ear about a guy who’s been looking at you two for the past minute, teasingly asking you if you think that guy could give you as much pleasure as he is right now

v = volume ( how loud they are, what sounds they make )

♡ when you’re doing public sex, he’s much quieter… just letting out pants and groans into your ear with the occasional whispered word of degradation

୨୧ but when you’re in the comfort of your shared apartment, he’s so much louder! practically yelling filthy names towards you and his deep groans ring out through the walls

w = wild card ( a random headcanon for the person )

♡ one night, he managed to convince you to break into a church with you and have raw sex right on top of the alter… you didn’t just have one round though, oh no! he was going to make the most of it and you guys desecrated practically everything holy in there by fucking on it

୨୧ was it some of the best sex you’ve ever had? yes! would you do it again with him? absolutely

x = x-ray ( let’s see what’s going on under those clothes )

♡ i just know this man has a big cock, i just know it… i’m saying 8.5 inches, he just comes off as someone that has a big cock to me, i don’t know how to explain it

୨୧ it’s pretty girthy and it has a killer vein on the underside

y = yearning ( how high is their sex drive? )

♡ his sex drive is very hot and cold! sometimes it’s really high and other times it’s just super average

୨୧ it’s much higher when he has a concert coming up due to the excitement and more average on days where not much is happening due to you guys just relaxing together

z = zzz ( how quickly they fall asleep afterwards )

♡ he’s not super sleepy after sex, especially because you guys have so much public sex! you guys usually just go about your day as usual after fucking

୨୧ the only time he falls asleep after sex is when it’s end of the day or night sex, when he’s been doing stuff all day and sex is the last event so to speak… he only falls asleep once he knows you’re taken care of too

[the-hovel-of-a-nerdy-rabbit]

PokéOmens! Gym Leader 2: Anthony J. Crowley

I don't know why it took so long to post him, but here he is! In the flesh! Your Grass gymleader! I'm so sorry to the 79.5% who guessed the other likely choices. A good chunk of you are probably wondering, "Why isn't he a dark type gymleader? Isn't he the dark duke?" or "He's literally fireproof! He makes the stars, which are burning gasses of light! Why no fire?!"

Well, let's talk about him!

Back in 2019 (yes, 2019), I wanted to do PokeOmens, but instead of the GO cast being Gym Leaders, they were all Pokémon. Aziraphale was a Rowlett and Crowley was (originally) a Litten...that was until I saw a post from @speremint on her Instagram. She made Pokémon teams for both and gave Crowley a Snivy (if anyone knows what picture I'm talking about, hats off to you). From that day forward, I couldn't see him with a fire type team. Sure, he made the stars back in the day, but that was his past, not his present. He's resistant to fire, but he's scared that'll take away the things he loves. He is the dark duke, but that's a title, not him.

Mr. Crowley isn't just a gymleader. His gym works as a Grass Pokémon sanctuary for nurturing and training stray Pokémon, but he says that he does to rid fluctuating stray population in the region. The only downside is that some people don't have a keen eye and just give him anything that's green. A couple of those mishaps actually went to his partner roommate. His outfit (a mixture between Crowley's pub attire in the second episode of Season 2 and Cassius from Pokémon Scarlet & Violet) was created by his lovely friend who thought maroon would be a lovely accent color. "It's a bit purplish, right?" No, Azira. It is not.

Meet Anthony's adopted Care Team! (Created by my partner in crime)

Centi the Minior - Wait...that's not a grass type. Well, Anthony doesn't care. He's had Centi for as long as he can remember, and if other gym leaders have a problem with that, they can shove it. Besides, who else is going to nap with him when the grass Pokémon are sunbathing?

Duke the Serperior - He was Crowley's first grass type experience. Through trial and many errors, Anthony made him into a lightning quick attacker...and a bit of a spoiled brat. If Duke wasn't at the center of his trainer's attention or if another Pokémon were to invade his space by a hair, he would throw a hissy fit. Thank goodness he has Duchess to calm him down.

Duchess the Liligant - After spoiling Duke, Crowley felt it would be affective if he went in harsher direction for the next Pokémon. Thankfully, it didn't last after the first day. Poor thing was scared out of her wits. To make up for it, her trainer apologized with a little dance. She didn't know what it meant, but it did make her like him. In fact, she uses it to cheer up the sanctuary occupants, especially Duke.

Spike the Cacturne - The third time's a charm, right? Yes...and no. You see, Spike was trained properly compared to the other grass Pokémon and is quite great when battling, but Crowley never helped with her temperament. She's a fighter, not a lover. Honestly, she's barely even a tolerator. It's a good thing she only deals with training others and not caring. That's Stripe's job.

Stripe the Lurantis - He is the most caring and efficient when it comes to assisting Anthony with the nurture the sick, young and injured Pokémon. Stripe is practically harmless, and as much as his trainer dislikes that, his pacifism always wins people over.

Prickles the Maractus - While walking to his gym, Crowley spotted a box at the door. It read, "KEEP HIM PLEASE!" And he did. It's not his fault he pricks others and has a curious mind. He just needs someone who can teach him to be careful...if only it wasn't the spiky, scary one. Eh, he'll be fine.

Thank you for reading! Hopefully I'll post Gabriel next week. If you have any questions or comments, please leave them.

Have a wonderful morning/day/evening/night!

[loadedcanons]

Drabble prompt: Harley goes “bird watching” and takes home a prize!

Harley watched the skyline and waited. "It's not fair, Ive," she vented into her comms. "Batsy has all these robins runnin' around, and we are expected to make do with just ourselves? It's like he's not gonna let us get away with anything," she sighed, before finally spotting someone she was looking for. Red Robin, clearly deep in a sleep-deprivation marathon. He'd be easy pickings. "Ive, heat up those hormones, I've got him in my sights."

It wasn't hard to disable Tim's comms, so he couldn't call for help once it became obvious what she was doing. Harley was at least liked enough by the Bat Family that she could ask him for help and he wouldn't immediately reject her. After that, a simple dose of knockout serum and he was asleep in her arms.

"Hiya Timmy," Harley's voice echoed through the pink room when he woke up. He couldn't see any of his gear, but his head pounded and his body felt... odd.

"Quinn... I thought you were on the straight and narrow now," he spoke, trying to buy time to figure a way out. When he shifted to sit up, he noticed a large dildo in his ass, but it felt good. He had to stifle a moan.

"Eh, never been straight, and I tried narrow when I was in gymnastics, but I prefer the parallel bars," she laughed. As Tim looked down at his body, he noticed a pair of breasts starting to bud underneath his pink nightie. "So, I figure you're wonderin' why I picked ya up, Timmy," her voice kept bouncing around, he couldn't place the speakers.

"Did you finally get bored of being an anti-hero and wanted me to beat you up again? Because I'll oblige." Despite his confident words, Tim couldn't be sure he'd actually win here, his body felt weak and drained. It was now that he realized that, between Harley's words, there was a subtle repeating message. He couldn't focus on it yet.

"I mean, I'm all for foreplay, Bird brain, but no, I wanted my own little sidekick. I'd call ya Punchline, but Mr. J beat me to that name, annoyingly," she groaned in annoyance. As Tim listened harder to the words, they became clear, and his mind became blank. The words were a subliminal hypnotic track intended to make him want to be a girl, want to be fucked with big cocks, suck big cocks, submit to a dominant.

"...re you'll probably be drif... out of focus, unable to... thanks to the words and hor... til you're a good girl for me," were all Tim was able to remember, though he knew that he was losing time in there. Every time he came back, a voice in the back of his head was louder and louder, asking him if it was really worth fighting back.

"You don't need a sidekick, Harley, you're doing just fine on your own," Tim tried to offer, but his will was giving out. Despite the drug induced unconsciousness, his mind hadn't actually rested, and he was having a hard time concentrating.

"Tell you what, Timmy, I'll come in myself, and we can talk it out, how's that?" Harley's voice cut off, leaving just the subliminal hypnosis, making Tim drift off again. The next time he came to, he was sucking Harley's cock and he loved the taste... no, she loved the taste. Tim Drake was done, it was time for a new identity.

Harley Quinn and her new sidekick, Rim Shot, swung up to meet with Batman soon enough. Rim Shot recognized him dimly, as if he was someone she should remember. Rim Shot's outfit was like a fusion of a pink version of Harley's original outfit and a magical girl dress. She'd picked it out herself, between training her body to take the biggest cocks she could and studying how to be a good girl like Harley. Darla Quinn was going to have fun as Harley's sidekick.

[faisdm]

J K Rowling will come for you. Like you don't even need to be trans, or from another country or disabled. You can just be an ordinary white English person and she'll hate you because you're from The North, or your town's a bit poor.

This is what she thinks my accent sounds like:

Yes, oh boy! In Career of Evil, Cormoran Strike goes to Barrow-in-Furness, a town in Rowling's own country just a couple of hours direct train from Manchester airport and has the residents all talk like strange Fantasy peasants. This isn't even a good rendition of a South Cumbrian accent. "Teeking?" (yeah, try "Tekkin'" Joanne), "Noo"? (WTF are you just making shit up as you go along? I don't think this is even Scottish never mind Northern English) "Tha" (Holy shit, Joanne this is like... something a farmer from right in the middle of the Lakes from a hundred years ago would say, not a lady in probably her seventies from Barrow). She doesn't even get actual characteristics of South Cumbrian speech right, like how "book" and "look" might sometimes be pronounced with an "ooh" (this is very specifically Barrow and not widespread in Cumbria) or "in the" or "to the" might become "in't'" or "'t't'", or ending sentences with "Eh" or "Iike" a lot, or the standard greeting being "Arreet, mate?" or a common saying being "Ah, be reet!" (It'll be fine!).

Side note: The Crow's Nest is not some dive bar. It's a pretty nice, friendly local pub. Seen above. Then again, this does line up with the whole section of the book and how Rowling describes South Cumbria.

Hilarious things Cormoran Strike, brilliant detective, doesn't notice that he definitely would have driven past here include that Ulverston has a big white lighthouse overlooking the town, but clearly not close enough to the sea to function (It is the birthplace of Stan Laurel, but that's a thing you'd notice if you searched it on google, not a thing you'd notice driving through, which is definitely either the Lighthouse, or in early summer that the town is full of big colourful silk banners - By the way, Ulverston is a lovely place to visit if you're in the Lakes but it's too rainy for a walk. It has lovely independent shops and cafes).

Then there's also a zoo next to the main road from Ulverston to Barrow with...er...pink rhinos. You see, the local soil around Dalton there is very rich in iron ore and is a distinctive pink colour, and so the giraffes and rhinos usually seen in the fields visible from the road tend to look pink. That road also features a rather lovely view of the sea and some beautiful old woodland and passes an excellent seaside nature reserve. You don't leave the Lakes and suddenly it stops being sheep and drystone walls and you're in an industrial hellhole!

The general depiction of Barrow in this book really emphasises the ugliness and industry of the town. How it has a lot of pubs (it does, but they're mostly pretty nice pubs) and how the shops often have gloomy jokes for names (there was a hairdresser called "Curl Up & Dye" for a while), but it never mentions that Barrow is actually a rather beautiful town with a sense of faded grandeur. The town centre is built on a huge scale by people who thought it was going to be the next Liverpool back in the Victorian period, so it has some very large and beautiful buildings and bronze statues. By the way, "Vickerstown" looks like this:

Oh noooo...what a horrible place to live! How do we even cope living in such an unlovely industrial town!?

Oh no, save us, Joanne, save us from this horrible town dominated by the enormous ship building sheds (you can *just about see them* right over there in the distance. This is the town centre, and while the ship building sheds do have some of the largest interior spaces in Europe, Barrow is a well spread out town).

tl;dr: Rowling is just a mean-spirited person, barely capable of seeking common humanity or really seeing the best in anyone different from herself. She's transphobic, she's racist and ignorant, she's classist, she's judgemental about appearances, and she treats even a nice town in the north of her own country like it's some horrible gloomy place just because we talk a little funny and aren't so well off.

[fnaffersblog]

Eyyyy Spoilers for 'Moon Says GOODBYE in VRCHAT'

Trigger Warnings Below Cut for: Cursing

(This is a bit old at this point, but eh. Curse of loving a show that airs daily, yeah?)

Also, beep beep, ty to everyone for your nice comments and stuff in the tags, I see them and I appreciate them. I love that everyone loves this show. It's fun to do these little deep dive reaction posts. :)

RIGHT OFF THE BAT WE START OFF WITH SUN INSISTING MOON DOES NOT HAVE TO LEAVE

MOON INSISTING HE DOES

SUN RE-INSISITING HE DOES NOT

This was kind of what I was talking about in the last post. Sun does not have the confidence to ask for what he NEEDS. He knows what he needs. He needs Moon to STAY right now. He's pulling every excuse out in the book. He's trying to frame it as 'Maybe Moon doesn't really want to go.' which isn't going to work because yes Moon does. He's trying to frame it as 'Maybe Eclipse isn't really a problem' which isn't true. He's talking about the length of time. Framing it as being "A month of not being in your life."

Sun kind of DOES touch on the issue, mentioning that he'll be alone, which had to be INCREDIBLY difficult, just that one word, you know? Because even one word opens up the possibility of the question 'Are you okay?' and then the horses are out, you know?

He's desperate at this point to get Moon to stay here, dropping every explanation he can to try and convince Moon to stay but the only thing that's going to get Moon to stay is him saying, 'Moon I Need You To Stay Right Now'

Which SUUUUUUCKS

At this point I don't think Moon COULD put off going and getting the stuff for the satellite. He's right too. They don't know what Eclipse is up too and his disappearance is MUCH more concerning than if he was around being a nuisance. They also probably run the risk of being found out if they wait too long. They also now have Jigsaw locked up in the arcade (which, aren't there like, customers? How... why... there's... anyways)

But I'm sure if Sun SAID something, Moon would take a moment and re think it, maybe try and plan a way, bring him with or set up a method of communication. Time dilation or otherwise.

It does sounds a little bit like Moon is using this as a break which is something I did touch upon before, that Moon and Earth can't be constantly holding Sun up or they're going to get exhausted themselves. Something that may inadvertently affect Sun if they take said exhaustion out on him. Which happened last episode so that's a very likely possibility.

I am glad he's taking a break. They need it. This is just really BAD timing. It's nobody's fault. It just sucks.

"Gregory is a kid" OnLy WHen It'S coNveNieNT

"That the computer doesn't have ANY input on." "Damn it."

Lol

"Maybe FLUFFY dinosaurs?" That's not any better! Lol

There was a very fun, long ass section here about Moon and Sun that devolved into several pages of discussion melding and expanding upon stuff people have said to me and stuff I’ve said already.

Uh.

So I took it out. I’m hammering away at it slowly for it’s own post. Ppppphhhbt.

Ah 4-5 days NOT 45 days. I was confused at first I thought Moon's VA was taking a month off not a week.

Nope. Never mind. Moon hasn't changed at all. Still a dick. Reset didn't change anything. /j

He's such a gremlin. It would be funnier if Sun didn't sound on the verge of crying.

"I'm about to beat you to death with this thing. I'm actually happy you're leaving now." Lol. Siblings.

Cool. That's good. So Sun will still be able to contact Moon if he needs.

"Shall I read you your last rights?" "I hate you." Ahhh, AI1. ALWAYS a pleasure.

"He'll be fine for a week." Are you sure? Again. He's just... sitting in a public space in a giant arcade room in a pizzaplex made to entertain families. I think, if he were to threaten to tear a child's limbs out slowly, there'd be problems.

Good Eclipse! Good to see him!

Damn Eclipse, you keep ur daycare like this? Barrels all over the place? Clean up not a thing in this dimension? (lol)

I never actually watched the episodes with the british gator. Is this Lord Monty?

Oh no he's as bad

Oh no

Oh NO

Folks I have found a character on the Sun and Moon show I dislike

WHAt is He SAYING?

I HATE HIM

IM CRYING LAUGHING I DISLIKE HIM SO MUUUCH

Eclipses IMMEDIATE regret at the accent My brother in SaMs YOU DO THE GATORS VOICE

I love this it's so funny im crying

[sofiiel]

Dial Tone Ch.9 | To/For You

Chapter Theme | Previous | Masterlist | Next

Axel and Mick traveled down the road quietly now, the daylight hours were spent and night had recently fallen. You slept against the window in the back seat, as the overwhelming wave gave way to exhaustion.

Mick fiddled with the old radio Wayne managed to get from Harvey. "You find it yet?" Axel asked. Even the static had died away.

"No, I lost the frequency, this thing is a piece of shit." Mick muttered.

"Shh, the brats sleeping, if you wake her/him I'm not talking to you again. It's finally quiet." Axel hushed.

Mick rolled her eyes, "that's exactly why, yes." she said. Turning the dial, voices came through the static.

"Chief, there's an old Volkswagen parked in the area around the lake." The words were crackling through the static, but clear enough.

"What'd he say?" you asked, popping awake from your sleep.

"Shit." Axel cursed.

The car filled with static, "shit, I lost it." Mick grumbled.

"Probably for the best anyway, what if that's the killer's car?" Axel asked.

"That's perfect, they've likely got Eddie or have seen him or are looking for him. You've got a gun and a knife, we can take them." You reasoned.

"Eh, no. You crazy? This dude's snapping people up like pretzels" said Axel.

You glare from the back seat, "That's exactly why we need to go." you pushed.

Axel and Mick looked at each other, "Look, we'll look around real quick and then get out." Mick said.

Axel scowled, "this is stupid." He said.

"She/he needs this, alright. Put up with it." Mick whispered.

"Fine, five minutes." Axel sighed.

The short search proved pointless.

Axel and Mick watched you from across the table with their brows knitted together. You quietly stabbed at your order of food with a spork. "Do something." Axel whispered to Mick.

"Like what?" she whispered back.

"I dunno, She/he looks so damn pitiful." He said.

"I can hear you, you know." You murmured. The sound of your dry voice caused them both to look away. You quietly push back your plate, "you can kill it." you said. Taking up your backpack. "I'm going for a walk."

Eddie exhaled as he looked about his thrashed room, the blanket of night would soon turn into a pale morning, and he was exhausted. "But at least you're doing something now." He thought to himself.

Across from the box spring of his bed, his phone lingered, a light flashing brightly. Eddie could hear the others talking from his living room, "Come on Eddie, we should head out, it's not a good idea to linger here," Robin called.

Eddie stood up and went to his bedroom door, popping his head out. "I'm coming, I just-Let me check my voicemail. Just real quick." He said.

"Voicemail?" Dustin questioned.

Nancy gave a strained smile, "Let him do it," she said. Flashing a grateful smile, Eddie quickly went back to the box spring and sat down.

"I know you called." He murmured as the automated voice chimed.

"You have Seven new messages."

Eddie picked up the real knockoff of Michigan J. Frog and sat him in his lap as he twisted the phone cord. A drained, determined voice spoke.

"I don't know if you've seen the news. You probably didn't have to, after last night."

Eddie seemed to sigh with you through your message, hearing a faint shake in your words.

"They're looking for you, Eddie. Not in the way they should be, either. If you're there, if you somehow get this, run. Anywhere, just leave. Home isn't safe anymore for now. And.... I'm still looking, If you're too scared to-"

Eddie exhaled, and glanced down at the phone in his hands, "Thanks for the warning," He thought, "But you sure aren't kidding when you say you're still looking, babe. Jesus, you're everywhere." Eddie managed a short chuckled inwardly.

"Hey man, this is Gareth. Probably a shot in the dark callin' a phone locked away in a crime scene, but, shits weird 'round here. Anyway - be safe man, and come home soon, Y/n's running a muck."

Eddie would have laughed out loud under better circumstances.

But when the following messages rolled, his breath caught, his brain working overtime as it tried to remind his lungs how to pump. The series of messages were silent, or nearly silent. Soft crying lingering in the background. Eddie quickly realized that these were not messages he was meant to hear, they were not meant to have gone through.

A shudder rolled down his spine as Eddie's fingers tightened around the phone. His eyes glazed in a thin layer of water as his brow knitted together.

"I've," His mind winced, "I've never heard her/him sound like that before...." Eddie whispered.

Eddie's free hand gave the little stuffed frog a squeeze, trying to hold back the urge to exit his messages and hit speed dial. Thankfully, he was saved by a light knock on the cracked door.

"Eddie?" Nancy called.

Glancing over his shoulder, he watched as she waved a little, "Is everything ok?" She asked.

Eddie glanced down at the phone and lightly shook his head, "No," the words came in a cracked chuckled, "No, not really."

Eddie sighed and hit repeat, holding the phone out to Nancy. "You two were almost friends once," He said seeing her hesitation, "It's not private," Eddie added.

Nancy's face filled with sympathy as she listened to the quiet message, one in a series of the same. "Y/n took it pretty hard, but she's/he's strong, the challenge and the bad news just pushes her/him to keep going." Nancy said.

"Sure, probably by terrorizing the town," she joked. Eddie managed a small smile, "But she/he can keep going as long as you can." said Nancy.

Eddie ruffled his air and tried to bat the tears way with his eyelashes. "Damn it, Wheeler," He chuckled, rubbing at his eyes.

Nancy smiled and held the phone back out to him, "You've got one more." she said.

Reaching towards her, Eddie took the phone and held it to his ear.

"Eddie? If you get this, I'm looking for you, I am on your side, and I'm here, always. I know we weren't talking, but. I just need to know you're ok. It's the end of day two and my nerves are shot. We might not be a thing anymore, but you still matter to me, you little-"

Eddie's mouth curved at one side at the halted thought,

"Just...let me know, a sign or, or something. Bye, I guess..."

The message ended and Eddie set the phone back into the receiver, taking one last look at it before stuffing the toy frog inside his flak vest pocket. He turned to Nancy and smirked.

"Feeling better?" She asked.

"Not really, but If I want to stop Y/n from rampaging through town down like Paul Kirk on a vengeance streak." Eddie said.

"P-Paul Kirk?" Nancy asked.

"Manhunter, or Rick Nelson, depending on the issue." Dustin chimed from Behind Nancy.

"What? Wasn't that a track on the H20 Album?" Steve asked.

Dustin gave a hard roll of his eyes, "No, that's Maneater. Manhunter is a master tracker who goes out to avenge the death of his friend with the help of a group of other master hunters, who believe those who do dastardly deeds are the best game to hunt and catch." Dustin explained.

Eddie followed Nancy out of his room, "What he said." He exhaled, eyes bright with amusement.

"Only those other hunters were actually evil robots." Max jumped in.

"I mean, tall hair could be an evil robot," Eddie murmured.

"Tall hair?" Robin asked.

"The guy who helped Y/n when Jason showed up." Lucas explained.

"Like Steve hair?" Robin questioned.

Eddie scoffed, "Oh no, like Mohawk, Steve's hair might be something to look at, but it's not all that tall." He said.

"Excuse me?" Steve asked.

"I mean Y/n did take on Jason, captain of the Hawkins' Tigers, and Manhunter does go up against the gang leader Tiger....so" Lucas hummed.

Steve watched the group through a squint, his eyes floating to Nancy, who seemed equally baffled. Steve clapped his hands together, "World ending, evil wizard, guy on the run, end of Hawkins as we know it. Maybe we should get a move on?" He said.

"Not to ruin the lightened mood, but, Steve's right." Nancy spoke up.

You waited at the library doors until which time they opened, photo's in hand, to print out more flyers. "Maybe he's not in town anymore. Maybe the killer has left with things getting so heated around here." You thought to yourself.

The Librarian watched you closely as she wandered to the copy machines. Not only was your face all over the news on repeat, between the town meeting and Powell's announcement at the lake house, you also looked a disheveled mess.

Pj and Samantha trudged behind you, feet dragging and eyes half closed. They's stayed out in the night searching as well. Samantha rubbed her eyes as she listened to the copier loudly disrupt the peace.

"Jesus, how many more do we need? The whole town is painted in these things." she murmured.

"These are different pictures, I found some from years back before Eddie figured out a few things about clothing and hair" You said with a hint of a smile, "mostly from middle school, I mean...he's young in them but - well abductors and killers can be known to make their victims cut their hair or wear odd clothing..." You murmured.

Pj cast his eyes towards the librarian, who's glare he could feel. "If you want a place perfectly quiet, maybe not have the copier upstairs, near the front desk?" Pj grumbled, turning to you and Samantha.

"I mean, seriously? Put it down with the computers or something." He ranted.

"All these books and not a lick of commonsense." Axel's boots clunking against the carpet announced him before his words could. He leaned against the copier, "but if we want to be fair, she didn't design the place." Axel added.

You're focused on the flyers as your friends watched in baffled.

"Why's it always you?" Samantha asked.

Axel pointed over his shoulder toward the door, sighing, "because I got tired of watching over the Three Stooges, who are not helpful, by the way."

Axel scowled, "they keep starting fights with people around town and at this rate the cops will round all of us up soon." He side glanced, "They're already looking into Me, Kal, and Mick." Axel murmured.

You paused in your copying and glanced up at him, "They are?" You asked.

Axel shrugged, avoiding the minor guilt in your eyes. "Don't look like that, that bratty frown suits you better." Axel stood up straight and looked about the library, "Let's be honest, the cops 'round here would be giving us a stink eye sooner than this is, if the place hadn't already been shitting itself." He said in a chuckle.

"You? Yeah, you'd be cuffs." Samantha said.

Finally finished with the new stack of Flyers, you passed a few around to Pj, Samantha and Axel.

"Alright, let's get out of here before we get banded for life. When Eddie gets back, I'll never hear the end of it if I've lost access to this place." You stated quickly.

Eddie sat silently at the table of the 'borrowed' RV, gazing at Max, who at this point was more than a little freaked out. "

You know, you could at least blink." Max said, "Worse than Steve. Nothing is going to happen here on the road." she pointed out.

Snapped out of his thoughts, Eddie laughed dryly, "Not to sound like a douchebag but... That's not why I was staring." He said. Max squinted at him confused.

"Steve kind of told me about your letters and um, I was wondering if you'd mind me stealing that idea?" Eddie asked her.

Max's guard fell, "sure." she said, reaching into her coat pocket, she pulled out a slightly crumpled envelope. "I had one left over anyway. You'll need a pen and paper." said Max.

Eddie grinned and took the envelope from Max before hopping to his feet.

"Thanks Red." He muttered, giving her shoulder a shake.

Max watched as Eddie started to rummage through the RV owner's belongings.

"What's he doing now?" Erica questioned.

"Hey! Munson, all butts to a seat while the vehicle is in motion!" Steve shouted, looking into the review mirror.

"Eyes on the road, Stevie. Remember? Hands at ten and two!" Eddie called back.

"He's looking for a pen and paper." Max explained.

"Why?" Dustin asked, while Robin and Lucas aided Eddie with his search.

"Are there more of you walking around?" Steve asked.

"Eyes on the road," Robin snickered. Steve shook his head and muttered under his breath.

"They're fine, it's not exactly like we're going fast." said Nancy, reaching to open the glove compartment.

"I've found paper!" Robin cheered.

Nancy smiled down at the basic black pen in the compartment. Plucking the pen up, she leaned over and wiggled it in the air, "got a pen." She sang.

Eddie thanked everyone for their help and nestled back at the table, but with the paper laid before him, all he could do was stare. It sounded easy in his head, write you a letter explaining that he was safe and working on putting a stop to Vecna. "Of course, without the Vecna part..." Eddie thought.

But it was hardly that simple, "You don't know you'll be safe, and you don't know that this plan will work." Eddie's mind sighed. He didn't want to write a goodbye, the thought made him nauseous. Eddie didn't want to pen down a path to memory lane that would drag you around in pain if he didn't return.

Biting his lip, Eddie sighed. Giving his nose a pinch as if it'd stop the salty water in his eyes from welling.

Steve brought the RV to a slow, they'd made it to the gun shop.

Max watched as Eddie stared at the paper. "It's the worst, isn't it?" She asked him. He's started to look pitiful, and Max wasn't sure she wanted to leave him in the RV while they shopped, looking like that.

"Just try and write the first thought that comes into your head when you think about them." Max shared this tip and then got to her feet, and walked to the back of the RV.

"First thing that comes to mind?" Eddie asked himself, he scoffed, twirled his pen and started to write.

Your fists trembled as your eyes threatened to stab the red and black marks across the flyer on the signpost. Inhaling deeply through your nose to try to calm the boil of anger in your stomach.

"Idiots" You murmured as you tore down the defaced flyer and replaced it with a new one. A long scowl tipped the corners of your mouth. "I really hope you aren't here anymore." You whispered, "I hope you made it out of town. But I hope you did so free of whoever's doing this."

Behind you Mick calls your name and turning to face her you find she isn't alone. "Yeah?" You reply, eyes wandering to Samantha, whose frown rivals your own.

"Axel and Pj just spotted Jason and his goonies," said Mick, "Coming from that big ass gun shop your ol' man used to frequent." Samantha spat.

You can feel your stomach drop, "so much for talking," You exhaled.

"Sam, go tell Powell. Go tell him, maybe he'll keep an eye out for the moron." you try to collect your thoughts and stop them from running wild with what if's once more. "I don't have time to worry about Jason and his oompa loompas. I need to replace the ruined flyers, search a little more before I go home and pack." You murmured.

"Pack?" Samantha asked. You gave a nod, Mick already knew, but you'd yet to tell the friends you'd just reconnected with.

"I'm leaving with Kali, Mick and Axel. They can't find their friend here either, and someone should be searching for Eddie in the neighboring towns." You explained.

"I need you and Pj here to keep things under control, and make sure nobody forgets him. Someone's got to take care of Corroded." You offered a strained smile. All the years you spent dreaming to leaving the hellhole, but you'd never ask for it this way.

"H-have you told Wayne?" asked Samantha.

You shook your head, "not yet, I don't know how. But I will soon."

Samantha shrugged, "It's a good plan, I guess. I'll go find Powell," She said.

"We should all meet up at Skull Rock around sunset." Mick said.

"I might be a little late, but I'll be there." You replied.

"Do we have time for this?" Steve asked, watching Eddie hop from the RV and creep through the trees to the main street.

"I mean I get it, I do but..." Steve sighed.

"You're thinking, should we be letting him skitter up to the door out in the open daylight like this?" Robin said, "and also are we wasting time we don't have?"

Steve nodded, "yes."

Nancy's eyes followed Eddie up to the door as he soon vanished behind it into the apartment building.

"I really hope no one sees him, someone should have gone in." She murmured.

"That would have been an even bigger give away. Pretty sure everyone knows we might be helping him now." Lucas stated.

Max shrugged, "it's important to him. He'll be careful, because he needs this."

Eddie stood at your door, looking at the apartment number through the Halloween mask. In his hands the envelope, raising the mask a tad, he pressed his lips to the paper and slipped it into the thin space between the door and frame.

"No promises, but I'm trying." Eddie whispered, backing away and trying his best to sneak out.

You stood before the power plant, wringing your hands. "right, just go in and tell the man you're leaving. He doesn't have too many more options for emotional support. Not with the whole town turned against his nephew."

You stop your inward worrying and walk inside, asking the women in the lobby if you could speak to Wayne Munson.

"It's kind of urgent." You told them.

Waiting by the doors, it was hard to fight off the jitters. "Just like a really adhesive band-aid. Make it quick." you mused.

"Yeah? Are you ok? Any news?" Wayne's voiced called to you.

As he approached, you stood up straight, biting down on your tongue. "He looks exhausted." You thought. "But I can't not tell him, I need to leave as soon as I can."

"Um...no, no news. I just-" You released a long, labored sigh, "I needed to tell you something." you said, eyes closing.

Wayne waited patiently, eyes scanning you as if to make sure you were ok. "One of them morons running about didn't hurt you, did they?" He asked.

You smile faintly, "no uncle Wayne," you chuckle with a shake of your head, "that not it."

Drawing in a deep breath, you clench your hands into fists and dare to look up. "I'm leaving."

The words seemed fumbled and jittery, "Not-not for long, I just need to try elsewhere." You explained.

Wayne still stood silent.

"We've put flyers up everywhere and everyone in the town is hunting for Eddie. He might not have stayed, or maybe the real killer took him away somewhere else." the words started to rush forward.

"I can't sit here and wait, not without going a step further. You can't leave, you need to make sure there's a home for Eddie to come back to. But I can." Finishing your ramble, your eyes meet Wayne's.

You wince at the linger silence, but soon he sighs.

"You call to check in once a day, and don't go gettin' into any real trouble. If you do, I won't have any way of knowing." Wayne instructed.

You're able to breathe again and give a firm nod. "I won't be alone." You said. "And it's only for a little while, fresh eyes looking around. A new change to try to talk some sense into people before this news story goes too far."

Wayne gave a nod, and slung his arms around you into a bear hug. "You be safe, the boy won't forgive if her returns, and you're gone." He said.

"Same to you, right? I don't wanna face the wrath of Eddie any more than you do." You chuckled.

Wayne released you and offered a smile, "I'm headed back to work before my boss gets on me 'bout this. I'll see you when I see you." he said.

"I'll call when I get settled." you promised.

Walking through your front door, with a muted scrap and a shuffle, an envelope fell at your feet.

Face up, your name was scrawled in unforgettable handwriting.

You choked on a gasp as you scrambled to pluck the paper from the floor, kicking the door closed and sitting down on the floor. You tear open the envelope in haste.

"You asked for a sign; sorry, there's no neon. I love you. Like so damn much. But, you wanted a bigger, wider world than Hawkins, and I have learned better than to be the reason you're kept from it. So go babe, go pack your things. For the world is not in your regrets and a cage like Hawkins, it's out there.

I'm going on an adventure, you should too."

Your tears hit the paper, frustrated. "You've kept me from nothing. Damn it, that all I want to be able to say. Let me take it back. All of it..." you murmured.

Taking a deep breath, you watch the paper in your hands, "you're free enough to bring a note to my door." you thought. Your fingertips ran along the slightly wrinkled letter.

"Is this-could this be a code? Going on an adventure...you should too." you utter quietly, "is he telling me he's left?"

Getting to your feet, you tuck the letter back into it's casing and rush to your room. "Pack and pack fast." you said.

You packed light, just that worn little backpack of yours. Squeezing the strap on your shoulder, you step out your front door. Exhaling a shivered breath, you turn the keys and lock the door.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

A/N: It only took me ten years to update. (not actually but you know...)

Masterlist page links and the next/previous links of previous chapters are still broken. I am going to take time to fix those sometime this week ( 5/11/2023 today)

[missmitchieg]

Sighing quietly, Penelope wiped sweat off her forehead and walked back into her lair, almost falling into her chair. She wrinkled up her nose, adjusting her glasses over her nose as the screen in front of her began to blur. She ignored that, hoping it was just a fluke as she got a call from the newbie asking her to look up something about their latest case.

Nearly two hours later, Penelope stood from her chair as she was alerted that the team had returned, heading toward the elevator to greet them. She stumbled forward, catching herself on the wall.

Eh, it's probably fine.

She shook her head, fixing her bangs as the doors opened to reveal her family.

"Ah, we have returned." David chuckled as he and Emily stepped forward first, his face dropping as he took in the sight of everyone's favorite technical analyst. "Hey, are you ok? You look a little off."

"'M fine, Dave." Penelope assured him, emphasizing it with a loose hug.

"No, he's right. You don't look too good." Luke noticed, stepping forward with a scowl.

Penelope gasped, her eyes turning on him. "How dare you, Newbie. I always look good."

Luke snorted, the left corner of his mouth turning up in a half smirk. "Yes, you look positively ravishing at all times." He nodded. "But maybe you should sit. Have some water."

"Maybe a snack." Emily agreed.

"I agree with Alvez and Prentiss." Aaron nodded, turning his gaze on the blonde as she scoffed.

"You too, Boss?"

"Yes." Aaron said sternly as Penelope stepped forward to reply, catching her as she fell into his arms. "Garcia!"

Pressing a hand against her forehead, Penelope took a deep breath. "I'm ok. I just suddenly got dizzy."

"Alright, that's it." Luke huffed, placing his own hand against her forehead. "Hey, you're warm. You should rest." He told her, his voice soft.

Spencer, JJ and Tara watched the exchange silently, giving each other knowing looks as Aaron nodded. "Alvez, stay with Garcia and make sure she hydrates and has a snack."

"Yes, sir!" Luke saluted him jokingly and guided an annoyed Penelope away, ignoring her irritated commentary. He stopped by his desk to grab his bag, thanking past him for habitually storing granola bars and bottles of electrolyte water and Gatorade in there as he followed Penelope back to her lair.

"Newbie, I'm really, genuinely fine." She insisted, sitting in her chair and grabbing the gray squeak toy Luke had given her.

Luke perked up at the sight of the familiar toy, giving her a real smile as he placed a full orange Gatorade bottle next to her keyboard. "Yeah, I know. Still have to do what the boss says, though." He reasoned. "I just want you to drink at least half of that. Hope you like orange. Now what's your favorite kind of granola bar? I have a bunch of chocolate and strawberry, but only a few blueberry ones left."

Penelope blinked at that, shifting in her chair. "Uh... Chocolate." She decided after a minute and grabbed the bar handed to her, taking a small bite.

Luke bowed his head with a smile, hands in his pockets as he leaned against the wall.

She looked up at him curiously, sipping what was apparently now her Gatorade slowly.

"Your lair is pretty cool, by the way." He said absentmindedly as he looked around, not daring enough to mess with one of her carefully placed trinkets and feel the wrath of Penelope Garcia on him.

"Thank you..." Penelope furrowed her eyebrows, taking another bite of the granola bar.

"You look confused." He noticed as he looked at her.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked bluntly.

Luke scrunched up his nose at the odd question. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Penelope frowned, ducking her head guiltily. "Because I'm always mean to you."

"Eh, I know you don't really mean it." Luke shrugged in response.

"What do you mean?"

"You're just pulling my pigtails because you like me." Luke said flatly.

"Woah, what?!" Penelope shrieked, startled by the annoyingly accurate words coming out of his mouth. Damn profilers.

Luke laughed into his hand, shaking his head. "No, I'm only joking. Reid told me not to take any of it seriously."

Penelope sighed in relief, taking a sip from the bottle of water. "Yeah, yeah."

"But I would be honored to be the object of your affection." Luke revealed casually, his honey brown eyes watching her.

Penelope looked up at that, her heart speeding up at the news. "Really?"

"Really." Luke nodded, his cheeks flushing.

Penelope's gaze dropped from his eyes to the bottle and snack in her hands, processing the fact. "Oh." She mumbled, slowly sipping the Gatorade until she finished half of it, finishing her granola bar.

"Good. Are you feeling any better?" Luke asked, his hand hovering by her forehead.

Penelope nodded and leaned forward, letting him check her temp again.

"Good." He smiled. "I'll go tell Hotch." He moved his hand from her forehead to her shoulder, squeezing gently as he looked at her before walking away.

Penelope watched him leave, groaning as she put her head in her hands. Fuck, was she in trouble.

----

Happy birthday, @darcyfangirlsfrequently! You're awesome! <3

[cervidaecorpse]

Opinions on the drdt Characters

Warning: spoilers

Teruko Tawaki

Vibe: CH1 Teruko is a vibe. CH2 Teruko is going to stab before the Vibe even begins. I still would want to be there for her.

Other: I understand where you’re coming from, but calm down. 10/10, love her character and the role she plays.

Extra: Fights for the brain cell.

Xander Matthews

Mood: Just wanting to make the world a better place.

Vibe: Perhaps we could be friends. Seems like a neat guy… except for the stab part.

Other: What the f, dude. Who hurt you? Want to talk about this before you commit a crime? No? Okay...

Charles Cuevas

Vibe: Pulling a ‘Whit’ on him would do the trick… or showering him with compliments. Both would work. Maybe. I would probably bother him with questions about chemistry, because I'm too lazy to buy a proper book.

Other: Nerd! 10/10, I normally don't like the tsundere, but eh. The Nerd gets a pass.

Extra: Fights with Teruko for the brain cell.

Ace Markey

Vibe: idk, I think he's funny. ...until he started bothering Nico.

Other: Ace, do you need someone to talk to?

Arei Nageishi

Vibe: We probably would not be friends. After she wants to change, I would give her a chance.

Other: You definitely need someone to talk to.

Rose Lacroix

Vibe: She is super relaxed. Just being in her presence is enough to bond with her and that’s great! I don't always need to talk. Just sitting with someone in the same room is enough for me.

Other: Please get a healthy sleeping schedule…

Hu Jing

Vibe: She seems kind? I'm not sure what to make of her.

Other: You do need someone to talk to, don’t you?

Eden Tobisa

Vibe: Super nice and very likable. Maybe a bit too much at times, but if you tell her to slow it down, she probably would.

Other: Do you need a break from carrying everyone's mental stability? 10/10.

Extra: Please, don’t be the mastermind. Please, don’t be the mastermind. Please, don’t be the master-

Levi Fontana

Vibe: He seems nice………………………………. For now. He's sus.

Other: He be slay… serving. I like his style. Would be bad if not.

Arturo Giles

Vibe: We would not be friends and the feeling is mutual.

Other: Not 100% dislikeable, but please stay away.

Min Jeung

Vibe: I don't dislike her, but probably would not be friends with her either. I'm very neutral about her.

Other: Please, do not forget to take a break, girl. You’re worrying me.

David Chiem

Vibe: Before Ch2 Ep11 we'd be just getting along, after Ch2 Ep11... idk. I would probably pull a very terrible Veronica from the distance.

Other: Well, aren’t you a funky little guy? Got some trauma you wanna talk about?

Veronika Grebenshchikova

Mood: The passion be real.

Vibe: I'm a sucker for horror stories, but there would be a need for therapy after. (Maybe not from her, though.) I'm not watching "Red Flags" with her.

Other: Honestly, there is nothing to dislike about her personally, but we can reach an agreement that Teruko did the right thing. Still 10/10 character. She's funny.

J Rosales

Vibe: She seems funny, although a little tsunderish, but there is a way around it.

Other: Glad not to have a mother like you. Again, not a fan of the tsuns, but she would be fine in doses.

Whit Young

Mood: I absolutely do make too many jokes during inappropriate times. (Thankfully most stay within the confinement of my head.)

Vibe: Super wholesome and always there for puns. I can see myself hanging out with him a lot.

Other: A friend everyone needs. 10/10 character, especially since he genuinely wants to help everyone around him.

Nico Hakobyan

Mood: Not me during a party looking for the next animal to spend the rest of the evening with… >.>

Vibe: Look, two awkward people are less awkward together. Speaking from experience.

Other: Perhaps the pet therapist needs therapy themself…

MonoTV

Vibe: Funny, but at what cost?

Other: I would adopt you… but at what cost?