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skyholly · 8 months ago

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The best kept secret

Summary: What if Moiraine had a baby daughter she and Siuan were forced to leave to Anvaere to raise as her own?

moiraine/siuan

Chapter 1 here!

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Chapter 2: Moiraine

Moiraine couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw her. She was so grown up. Her father’s words resounded in her ears. Time is a thief.

Her hair, of the warmest brown, sat neatly over her shoulders, when she’d once had soft, chestnut blonde curls. Her eyes remained the deepest of blue, but with more wisdom to them. Her height surprised her the most; the last time she saw her she could barely reach her waist, whilst now she stood almost as tall as her. And of course, that ring on her finger. That cursed ring. She knew when she’d joined the Tower and she knew she’d joined the Yellow Ajah, Siuan always kept her informed on such matters, but she very much wished she hadn’t. She had hoped she couldn’t have been able to channel. That she was allowed a normal life, a complete foreigner to the Tower’s demands. But the Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills.

It took Moiraine a moment to get a hold of herself, and before she realised it, she’d made her way home, muttered some words, and suddenly she found herself tucking a strand of hair behind Guinevere’s ear, her mind flooding with memories of that week, a week that she had so earnestly tried to erase from her memory, and yet could never fully escape it. I can never seen her again.

*************

Moiraine knew she shouldn’t, and yet, she couldn’t help it. She’d been sent on business to Cairhien by the Amyrlin’s orders and could stay at whatever inn she pleased, preferably while maintaining a low profile. But being in the city ignited something within her—a yearning, an ache that burned throughout her entire being. Before she could gather her thoughts, she found herself dragging Lan through the city’s streets and passageways etched into her memory, towards the childhood home she’d promised herself never to return to, until she was ready. The Light knew she wasn’t, but she couldn’t fight the feeling, the yearning to see her.

“This isn’t wise, Moiraine.” Lan warned her. But he could feel everything she did, and he couldn’t help but to sympathise with what her Aes Sedai was going trough, all of her emotions burning within him as well. He diligently followed the woman across the city, until they reached a big, wealthy house with an enormous door on its front. “Moiraine.” He alerted her again, but she remained indifferent to it. Just one look at her. One look at her and I’m gone.

Moiraine walked the steps towards the door, hesitating for a second, before knocking on it. She could hear some mayhem taking place inside the house, little footsteps running towards their direction, and the voice of a man, gentle, yet commanding, yelling for someone, before there was silence. Seconds later, the door opened abruptly, revealing who was behind such chaos. A man, tall, advanced in years, with grey hair and a smile so wide and kind it translated into his eyes, was standing before them, holding a giggling toddler in his arms. The three year old girl had golden, chestnut curls pulled into two braids; eyes the colour of midnight sky, and a mischievous grin on her face that would easily let any parent know she was a handful. Moiraine felt herself melt at such sight.

“Moiraine!” The older man happily exclaimed, opening his eyes in surprise, hastily stepping aside to let the pair in. “It’s been so long, four years if I’m not mistaken, what are you doing here?” He asked, shifting the toddler from one arm to the other, who had suddenly gone silent at the presence of the two strangers.

Moiraine knew she ought to answer, her brain knew as much, but she couldn’t draw her gaze away from the little girl in the man’s arms. She was so precious, every bit of endearing and magical as she had pictured her to be. She instantly felt compelled to take the toddler into her arms, and realised what a terrible mistake she’d made by returning. You fool! You most definitely aren’t ready. You’re endangering everything.

“We're on Tower’s business,” Lan rushed to explain, noticing Moiraine was too absent minded to do so herself, “and we thought we’d stop by. My name is Lan Mandragoran, I’m Moiraine’s Warder.” He said, extending a hand towards him, which the older man shook happily. “It’s a pleasure meeting you, Lan. I’m Torvin, Anvaere’s husband. ” He introduced himself, with a big smile, as he tilted his face towards the little girl resting her head on his shoulder. “This is our daughter, Guinevere. Winnie, this is your aunt Moiraine, and his Warder, Lan. Aren’t you going to say hi?”

Guinevere stared at them, a shy smile covering her face, before she nudged even further into her father’s chest. “Has a mouse eaten your tongue? Why are you so quiet all of the sudden?” He teased her, as he started tickling the toddler, which managed to get her to erupt in giggles.

“Darling?” A voice echoed from within the hall, a voice she could recognise anywhere. Moiraine felt herself go pale. Anvaere. “Who is it so late in the evening?” The woman asked, as she joined them in the room, but went still at the sight of their guests. At the sight of one guest in particular. “Moiraine,” she exhaled.

“Hello, little sister. You look well,” Moiraine said, finally tearing her gaze from the toddler. “You all do.”

“We are.” Anvaere nodded, as she approached her husband, taking the child from his arms protectively into hers, with a hint of worry in her eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by her older sister. “We’re all very happy indeed.”

“And I’m glad, sister, I truly am.” She professed, taking a quick glance at the young girl before stepping back towards the warder, a flicker of both anger and sympathy showing in Anvaere's expression. “We were sent to Caihrien on Amyrlin’s order and we thought we’d stop here, just as Lan said. Nothing more.”

Moiraine and Anvaere stared at each other for a moment, silently speaking in their own language no one else knew. Moiraine understood why her sister was acting so guarded. The Aes Sedai puckered her eyes into a pleading expression, biting on her lip. I just want to see her. I’m not here to take her away from you. Anvaere felt her chest tighten at such sight, she couldn’t help but to empathise with her older sister. It broke her heart to see her like that.

“You better join us for dinner, then.” Anvaere smiled, leaving a kiss on Guinevere’s temple. “You’ll always be welcome to stay here, sister.”

Dinner went smoothly, their discussions centred around Barthanes’ travels to visit his uncle, how expertly he faired despite his young age, the latest scandals among Cairhien’s noble Houses, news from the Sun Palace, and whatever little they could speak of the Tower. Yet it ended fairly quickly, under the excuse that they needed to put Guinevere to bed early, lest she got moody.

Anvaere had cambers prepared for the both of them, separate of course, as Lan was guided into one of the guests’ rooms and Moiraine into her own childhood bedroom. She was settling in, a torrent of memories coming back to her, when she heard a shy knock on the door, and then noticed someone peeking through a small gap in the opening. A tiny someone. And suddenly, a little girl came in rushing, lightly closing the door behind her. Moiraine remained still in her place next to the fireplace, deliberating on whether sending the girl back to her room, or allowing her to stay.

Guinevere stood quiet, her back rigid against the door, her gaze set intensely into the older woman’s. “Is it true you’re an Aes Sedai? My brother says you are one.” She asked, bluntly, a hint ofboth fear and curiosity ringing in her voice.

Moiraine couldn’t help but smile. “I am,” she said, raising the hand where she carried her ring, “would you like to come see?”

Guinevere eagerly nodded, and then hesitantly walked towards the armchair Moiraine was sitting in. She softly brushed her fingers against the ring, staring in awe at the serpents that shaped it and the blue stone in the middle. “This gives you magic?” She asked.

“No,” Moiraine softly laughed, removing it from her finger and handing it to the little girl, “the One Power is within all of us, within every stone, every body of water, every burning fire, every wind that blows on your hair. Some women simply are capable of pulling on its weaves.” She explained. Some men, as well.

“Woah,” Guinevere exhaled, grabbing the ring, the jewel fitting loose on her little finger, “how do you find the weaves?” The child asked, tilting her head in confusion. She didn’t see any strings around, how could someone pull on something it didn’t exist?

“Like this.” Moiraine said, as she moved her hands in smooth motions, causing the fire on the chimney to unexpectedly burn higher and more fiercely.

Guinevere gasped, both in amazement and fear, as she jumped into Moiraine’s lap, her little hands gripping on her chest. “You don’t need to be scared,” the woman chuckled, instinctively embracing the little girl, “it won’t hurt you.”

The child kept staring in wonder at the dancing flames, and then turned towards her aunt. “Can I do that too?” Guinevere earnestly asked her, her big eyes, an exact copy of Moiraine’s, full of fascination. That look pulled at the woman’s heart strings, a wave of sadness and nostalgia of what could’ve been filling her with sorrow. Oh, my dearest Siuan, if only you could see her.

“Maybe,” she whispered, gently tucking a strand of hair behind the little girl’s ear, “we’ll have to wait until you’re older, sometimes the ability to channel comes later. Speaking of late,” she added, taking Guinevere by her arms as to set her on the floor once again, “I believe you should be off to bed.”

“No!” The girl yelled, holding on tighter to her aunt, all the shyness from before nothing but a stranger to her at that point. “I don’t want to go. I want you to tell me stories about Aes Sedai and magic and monsters.” She begged, pouting, eyes furrowing into the sweetest pleading expression she’d ever seen. How could anyone refuse? She suddenly understood Torvin’s words.

Moiraine couldn’t help but giggle at the sight, giving in to Guinevere's cries. She helped the girl settle into her lap, a smug smile taking over the toddler’s semblance upon getting what she wanted. “Does that always work for you?” She asked, smiling.

“Usually.”

Moiraine started reciting tales about kings and queens from ancient times, as Guinevere’s unwavering stare on her kept turning into frowns and smiles and grins as she listened to the amazing stories her aunt told her. They remained like that, entranced in their own little world, until they heard a voice resound in the hallway.

“Guinevere!” Anvaere’s angry voice reached them. “Where are you? Torvin, I can’t find Winnie!” She yelled, panic slowly settling into her.

Moiraine turned towards the toddler. “Does your mother not know you’re here?” The girl shook her head, her face mimicking Moiraine’s own guilty expression.

“Mama, I’m here!” She screamed, as she hopped off the armchair and ran towards the door. Anvaere barged into the room, just as the girl reached for it. “Winnie,” she sighed, relieved, picking the toddler up in her arms,“what were you doing in here?”

“Aunt Moiraine was telling me a story!” She exclaimed, excitedly. Anvaere directed her gaze towards her sister, who had stood up, uncomfortably placing her hands on her stomach. “I’m sorry Anvaere, I didn’t know—

“It’s fine,” the woman interrupted her, sending a sympathetic look towards her, “I apologise, I just got concerned when I didn’t see her in her nursery.”

“I understand.” Moiraine smiled at her sister, gesture that she wholeheartedly returned.

“I can hardly blame you,” Anvaere sighed, tilting her head towards Guinevere, “I believe it was this little girl who pulled on some strings to get you to tell her stories, didn’t she?” She said, tickling the girl.

“I-just-wanted-to-hear-some-stories!” The girl said, in between giggles.

Moiraine lowered her gaze, softly smiling to herself. Wishing for something she long ago gave up, and could have no more. You shouldn’t have come here. She’s happy here. Anvaere can take so much better care of her.

“Well, it’s time for you to go to bed now, and no more escaping, alright?” Anvaere warned the toddler in her arms.

“Alright.” She conceded, her arms dropping in defeat.

“Now say thank you and goodnight to your aunt, and maybe she’ll tell you some more stories tomorrow.”

“Thank you Aunt Moiraine, goodnight Aunt Moiraine.” Guinevere said, waving a little hand in her direction.

“Goonight, Guinevere.”

The following night, Guinevere found her in her room once again. The little girl barged into her room, not bothering to knock, as she already felt comfortable enough in the presence of her aunt, and ran towards her bed, where Moiraine was busy reading a book.

“Can you tell me another story?” The little girl begged, her face barely reaching the height of the mattress. Her hair hung loose over her shoulders, and she was wearing a white nightgown with flower embroidery. Moiraine recognised the piece of clothing as one of her own she used to wear as a child.

Moiraine squinted her eyes at the girl. “Alright,” she eventually gave in, moving aside so that the toddler could jump into bed next to her. The two of them settled in, and so Moiraine started telling the story about Arthur Hawking and his fallen Empire. And just like the last time, Guinevere remained quiet, with her eyes wide as plates in astonishment, always asking Moiraine to keep on going whenever she tried calling it a night.

The days in Cairhien passed quickly, each one blending into the next. Moiraine and Lan stayed longer than intended, their presence justified by vague mentions of Tower business. But Moiraine knew the real reason she stayed: Guinevere.

Every evening, Guinevere would sneak into Moiraine’s room, her eyes bright with anticipation. The bond between them grew stronger with each story shared, each moment of wonder at the magic Moiraine could summon. Anvaere allowed such things silently, a mixture of understanding and concern in her eyes.

One of those nights Moiraine came home and went straight to her bedroom, skipping dinner, for the events of the day had drained all energy away from her.

She was on the brink of falling asleep, when she heard the door open, and little footsteps started approaching her bed. She opened her eyes and saw Guinevere carefully walking towards her, carrying a platter full of cheese, bread and ham with her hands. “Mama told me to bring this to you,” she said, as Moiraine sat up against her pillow. The little girl placed the platter over her lap, and then climbed up the bed to sit next to her.

“Are you sick Aunt Moiraine?” She asked, placing a little hand over the woman’s arm. Moiraine’s heart fluttered at the action.

“Not sick, just tired.” She said, as she took a bite on a piece of cheese.

“Oh, I get that,” Guinevere said, nodding, “I get sooo tired sometimes.” She added, theatrically tilting her head to the side and letting her body fall into the mattress.

“You do?” Moiraine asked, amused at the girl’s cheekiness.

Guinevere nodded earnestly, her little face serious. “Mama says I’m a handful.”

Moiraine laughed softly. “I can see why she would say that.”

The two of them sat in comfortable silence for a moment, Moiraine nibbling on the food Guinevere had brought, the little girl watching her with wide, curious eyes.

“Do you want to hear another story?” Moiraine asked, breaking the silence.

Guinevere’s face lit up. “Yes, please!”

Moiraine began telling her about the adventures of the ancient Aes Sedai and their battles against the Shadow. Guinevere listened with fascinated attention, occasionally gasping or giggling at the exciting parts. As the story unfolded, Moiraine felt a warmth spreading through her, a sense of connection and joy she hadn’t felt in a long time. She felt a surge of guilt, knowing Siuan wasn’t there to share such moments with them.

It was well past Guinevere’s bedtime when Anvaere found them. She stood at the doorway, watching the scene with a mix of emotions. She knew no one else who could control her emotions like her older sister, but would they falter at the girl’s presence? “Winnie, it’s time for bed,” she said softly.

Guinevere pouted but didn’t argue. She slid off the bed and ran to her mother, giving her a hug. “Goodnight, Aunt Moiraine,” she said, waving as Anvaere picked her up.

“Goodnight, Guinevere,” Moiraine replied, feeling a pang of sadness as the door closed behind them.

She lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling, her mind a whirl of thoughts and emotions. Coming back to Cairhien had opened old wounds but also brought unexpected joy. It is so easy. She is so easy, Siuan would be great with her, and Lan adores her. Maybe it could work out.

The following afternoon, Moiraine found herself pacing around her room, thinking about Guinevere, about the time they’d spent together, how seemlessly she blended into her life, when she heard yelling in the hallway.

“I don’t want to get a bath!” A little voice shouted.

“Winnie, you don’t get to choose—

“But I want Aunt Moiraine to tell me—

“GUINEVERE!” Anvaere finally raised her voice, as Moiraine made her way into the corridor, to find her sister, fuming, with both her hands on her hips, and feet away from her, a little girl, hair wild as if she had been riding, her dress stained with mud. “This is not a request, you are getting a bath right now before bed.”

Guinevere crossed her arms, her lower lip jutting out in a stubborn pout. “But I want Aunt Moiraine to tell me a story first,” she insisted.

Anvaere sighed, her frustration melting into a look of resignation. “Moiraine, could you...?”

Moiraine smiled gently. “Of course.” She crouched down to Guinevere’s level, her eyes soft and understanding. “How about this: you take your bath now, and when you’re all clean and ready for bed, I’ll tell you the best story you’ve ever heard. Deal?”

Guinevere’s eyes lit up, and she nodded eagerly. “Deal!”

“Go on, then,” Moiraine encouraged, giving her a gentle nudge towards the bath. Guinevere scampered off, Anvaere watching her go with a grateful smile.

“Thank you,” Anvaere said quietly, her eyes meeting Moiraine’s.

Moiraine simply nodded, her heart aching with a swirl of emotions she couldn’t quite name. Easy.

Later that night, Guinevere, freshly bathed and in her nightgown, bounded into Moiraine’s room, her eyes wide with anticipation. She climbed into bed beside her aunt, who took her by the arms and settled her onto her lap, the little girl’s back resting against Moiraine’s legs.

“Alright, Aunt Moiraine, I’m ready,” she declared.

Moiraine smiled, grabbing the little girl’s hands. “Once upon a time, in a land far to the north...” she began, weaving a tale of adventure and magic, her voice soothing and melodic.

As she spoke, she felt the weight of the world lift off her shoulders, if only for a little while. She glanced down at Guinevere, whose eyes were slowly drooping, her breathing becoming steady and even.

By the time Moiraine finished the story, Guinevere was fast asleep against her chest, her small hand clutching Moiraine’s robe. She softly caressed the little girl’s cheek, rosy and plump. It feels so right. At the moment Moiraine fell asleep, she’d already made her choice.

The Aes Sedai woke up at the crack of dawn, before anyone else in the household, got up from the bed in a gentle manner so as to not wake Guinevere up, and started packing her bags. She then ran towards the little girl’s nursery, and picked up some clothes for her. That’ll be enough, we can always get more.

She started to feel her heart flicker as she headed towards the barn to get her horse ready, a mix of emotions palpable on her skin. Happy, guilty, scared, unsure, but determined. So very determined. She blocked her connection to Lan, just in case such torrent of sentiments woke the warder up, and bolted towards her room once again. She picked up the little girl on her arms, softly, avoiding to wake her up, rolled her in a blanket, and started to make her way out of the house.

She skipped through the stairs with ease, and was about to reach the lower entrance, when someone swiftly intercepted her, blocking her way to the door. Torvin.

Moiraine went stiff, reaching for the One Power, an electrical buzz surrounding her body, ready for confrontation if needed, but the older man didn’t appear to be angry at her, rather he wore a sad and sympathetic look on his face. He was aware of her intentions.

Curse you, Lan.

“What are you doing, Moiraine?” The old man asked, softly, his voice barely a whisper.

“Taking my daughter with me, Torvin.” She muttered, her lip quivering.

“You know this isn’t the way,” Torvin said gently. “Anvaere will be devastated. And Guinevere...she needs stability, a home. She needs her family.”

“She is my family,” Moiraine shot back, her voice breaking. “I’ve given up so much already. I can’t leave her behind again. I won’t.”

Torvin took a step closer, clasping his hands together in a gentle motion. “What has changed, then? Four years ago, you came home with a whimpering baby in your arms, beggings us to take her and raise her as our own, because your life as Aes Sedai wasn’t compatible with a baby’s. Because of a mission sensitive you couldn’t even share with us. What’s different now?”

Moiraine stood before Torvin, clutching Guinevere protectively, her heart pounding in her chest, as her breathing became uneven. The older man sighed, his expression a mix of understanding and sorrow. “If this is what you’ve chosen, then I guess I can’t convince you otherwise. She is yours, as you say. But taking her now, in the middle of the night… that’s not the answer.”

She hesitated for a moment, before heading towards the door, brushing past the man. “Well, as you said, it is my choice, and I’m taking her now, whether you like it or—

“No.” A voice came from behind. She turned around, and found Anvaere and Lan rushing towards them from across the hall. “You are not taking her, Moiraine. She’s safe, she’s happy here.” Her sister explained, as she tried to take the child away from her hands.

Moiraine tightened her grip on the girl, unintentionally causing her to wake up, the toddler slowly opening her eyes. “No, you don’t understand, I can manage now—

“Can you, really?” Anvaere asked, with a sorrowful look on her face, yet still determined to get the toddler into her arms.

“Yes,” she whimpered, preventing tears from falling into her cheeks, “we can take her with us, she can come with us, she’d love all the travelling, I know—

Moiraine was interrupted by the little girl’s soft sniffles, frightened at being awakened in the middle of the night by her mother and aunt fighting, both pulling on her as if she were a prize. “Mama?” Guinevere cried, turning towards Anvaere, extending her arms towards her.

Moiraine heart shattered at that, however, she remained reluctant to let her go, or that was until someone laid a hand over her shoulder, in a gentle motion. She glanced to her side. Lan. “Come on, Moiraine.” He whispered, locking eyes with her. We shouldn’t have come. That was all it took.

She loosened her grip on Guinevere, allowing Anvaere to gently take the child from her arms. The little girl clung to her mother, burying her face in Anvaere’s shoulder, her small frame trembling with confusion and fear.

“Shh, it’s alright, Winnie. Everything’s alright,” Anvaere soothed, stroking Guinevere’s hair and whispering comforting words, as she left the room.

Moiraine watched as Anvaere carried Guinevere away, her heart breaking into pieces. The child's soft cries echoed down the hall, each one a dagger to Moiraine's stomach. Lan's hand remained on her shoulder, grounding her, but it did little to ease the pain.

"You know she can’t come with us, Moiraine," Lan said gently, his voice low and filled with understanding, “we have a mission, and we cannot fit Guinevere into it, we’d only be hurting her.”

“I-I know,” she acknowledged, cheeks burning in a burgundy shade, “I don’t know what came over me.” She added, crossing her arms over her chest, shame covering every other emotion. She felt so embarrassed. Abducting a child, in the middle of the night, removing her from the warmth and safety of her bed. Not being able to get a grip on her emotions. Losing focus on what really mattered. Betraying her and Siuan’s purpose. Find the Dragon Reborn. It was so unlike her.

Torvin smiled at her in a kind-hearted manner, as he gently rubbed the woman’s arm. “She is safe here, Moiraine. And so, so loved. She’ll be alright. And know that we will always welcome you in, should you feel the need to visit her.” Moiraine nodded, her eyes filled with unshed tears. They remained in silence, and the house seemed to hold its breath, the weight of the moment pressing down on them all.

It was Anvaere, returning alone to the room, after putting Guinevere to bed, who broke the silence. “I think you should go, Moiraine.” She said, a sober expression on her face, as she intertwined her arm with Torvin’s.

Moiraine stared at her sister, realisation sinking on her like an anchor. I can’t ever see her again. The mission is too important. “I think so too.”

*************

“Guinevere, I—

“Little lady, my lady,” Jhonas interrupted them, as he barged into the room, “your sister is waiting for you in the drawing room.”

She abruptly drew her hand away, frightened by what she was about to do. Two minutes in the girl’s presence and she was already losing all caution. But this time she needed to be in the city. And she suspected she’d need her sister’s help as well, reluctant as she was to accept that.

She hurried to follow Jhonas into the drawing room, Guinevere’s steady footsteps just behind her, and went almost still, feeling the air get caught up in her throat once again at the sight of her sister. She studied her hair, she was most probably wearing a wig, in an attempt to hide the grey beneath it; she studied the wrinkles around her eyes, tired and weary; she studied the curve of her mouth, surrounded by lines. She looked so much older, not only than before, but so much older than her as well. Her little sister, worn out by time. It was a tragic vision, a deadly punch in the gut.

“You look well, little sister.” She somehow managed to say, fighting back tears.

“As you do.” She said, a pleasing smile on her face, before tilting her gaze towards someone behind her. “Winnie, you probably don’t remember her, this is your Aunt Moiraine.”

“We’ve already introduced ourselves.” Moiraine said, not bothering to glance backwards.

“I see.” Anvaere replied, the slightest glimmer of rage crossing her eyes. She then extended her arms, gesturing for the girl to come closer to her. “Winnie dearest, weren’t you heading out?” She asked her, grabbing both her hands.

“I-I was. I should be going, really.” Guinevere stuttered.

“Then get on with it, darling,” she said, kissing her forehead, “and don’t be too late.”

“I won’t.” The young girl replied. Anvaere tightened her grip on her hand. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d caused her mother to panic after not returning home before nightfall. “I promise. I’ll be going then. Goodbye Aunt Moiraine.”

“I’ll see you later, Guinevere.”

Anvaere waited until the girl was gone, until she shifted her gaze towards her sister again. “Please, sit,” she gestured towards the chair by her side, “we didn’t know—

“I won’t trouble you for tea.” Moiraine rushed to say. “I have stabled my horse, and I would use my old room, if it’s open. But I want to keep a low profile here in the city.”

“Of course, we—

“Jhonas!” She exclaimed, turning towards the older man. “Bring up a Ghaeldanin red from the cellar?”

“Yes, my lady.”

“And I need a dress ordered from—

“It’s been a decade, Moiraine!” Anvaere yelled, exasperated by her lack of attention. “Sit!”

Moiraine turned towards her sister, who was trying to gain some composure after her outbreak. “Have some tea.” She asked her. And how much Moiraine wanted that, she couldn’t possibly put in into words. How’d she’d missed her little sister, her companionship, and their talks and gossip reunions. But she was on Cairhien for a mission, and one mission only. Train the Dragon Reborn. She was sure Rand was in the city, somewhere. And she had to find him.

“Perhaps lunch,” she said, and added, just before she left the room, “there’s someone I need to meet today.”

She did felt terrible, leaving her sister, who simply wanted to have tea with her, alone, after fifteen years of not seeing each other, but her duty towards Rand was too important.

She ran towards her childhood bedroom, and carefully put on some clothes. A blue dress with a lace, white turtleneck underneath, and of course the blue stone on her forehead, all with the purpose of avoiding people noticing what she was no more. She strolled around the room, reminiscing about her old self. Her book collection, her jewellery, her desk. Everything was exactly the same, covered in a thin layer of dust. Except for some things. Her music box was missing, a handful of books as well. Why would Anvaere touch such things? She closed her eyes as to clear her head, realising she was spending time she did not have, and rushed out of the door.

She picked up the wine Jhonas had left for her, and hurried out the house, before anyone saw her.

Moiraine came back home later than she’d expected, a defeated look on her face. She did not find Rand. She did not find anyone capable of saying where he was. Where he had been, yes, at the Sanitarium, but for some reason he missed work that day. She’d found out the inn he had been staying, but was there no more, since the place had apparently burned out. And Moiraine suspected Rand’d had something to do with it. Which meant she was too late. It was ridiculous to assume he would get a hold of his power in under six months, unassisted as well. She had been too late in searching for him. She’d failed. All because she’d been too focused moping about her, about losing her connection to the One Power. So egoistic. She, her problems, all of that was too unimportant in comparison to what the Wheel had prepared for Rand. She couldn’t let anything else drift her away from her mission, even when she felt she was asphixiating, fighting death every single day since she was cut out from the One Power. But she didn’t allow herself to keep on dwelling on such matters.

She let out a breath as she walked into the house, peeking through the door to her sister’s chambers, dancing shadows indicating a warm fire was burning in the fireplace. She knew she ought to go to her. She wanted to. But she couldn’t deal with her at that moment. Focus.

Moiraine walked away, towards her room, and was surprised to see Anvaere already there, waiting for her, sitting on an armchair beside the chimney. “You’ll pardon the intrusion, but I didn’t want to miss you. Please, sit.”

“Anvaere,” she sighed, putting a hand on her forehead, “I’ve had a long day. I…

“This is not what a woman should have to do to talk to the sister she spent half her life idolising.” Her little sister complained, yet somehow Moiraine felt as if she were being scolded.

“If you want me to apologise for leaving,” she replied, shaking her head, “I won’t. An Aes Sedai cannot lie.” Could she? Can I claim myself an Aes Sedai any longer?

“No, no, of course not.” Anvaere was quick to say, as Moiraine paced around the room. “In truth, you did nothing I wouldn’t have, if I could’ve channelled. Light knows I tried, on nights when our family’s future looked dim. After Uncle ruined us. After you left.” She said, with a hint of resentment on her voice. “But Father always held out hope that one day you’d come back and fix it all. You were his shining star. Shooting star, as it turned out, never to return once you left our sky. ”

“I…” Moiraine was as out of breath as she was out of words. It’s all too much. Her father, her sister, Rand, Guinevere. Siuan. She’d failed so many people. A lifetime wouldn’t be able to make up for all she’d done to them. “I would’ve come back if I could…” she murmured, taking a seat in front of her.

“Spare me the false penitence.” Anvaere brushed her off. “You had your work, and I had mine. Less important, certainly, but no less demanding. Unless the Tower also taught you how to smile after someone spits in your eye? And I endured all of it with a little boy and a newborn girl to look after. But I got on with my work, just as you did with yours. Now my son is going to marry the Queen, and my daughter is the youngest Aes Sedai in years, and nobody will ever spit on House Damodred again.”

Moiraine stared at her, sadness almost tangible on her eyes. “You’ve done well, little sister. Better than I would’ve done with the hand you were dealt.”

“Thank you, Moiraine.” Anvaere nodded, a smug grin on her face. “But somehow, finally, I don’t care what you think. I’m not here for your approval. I’m here because you will not endanger what I’ve worked all my life to build. You will not endanger Guinevere again.”

Moiraine stood up, anger building up on her chest. It infuriated her, the way they talked about Guinevere, about her daughter, around her, as if she were any less concerned for her safety than them. “Sister, I truly am not—

“This is not your house. This is not your city.” She is no longer your daughter. “And I’m not your little sister anymore. All the eyes and ears you had here… they’re mine now. The head of the sanitarium, Celestin. The guard you hailed at the gate, Sandair. If you want to know where that redheaded boy in the inn went… you’re going to have to ask me very nicely, over tea.” Anvaere proclaimed, her lips turning into an arrogant smile, as she handed her a cup of tea, leaving Moiraine with no other choice than to accept it.

Lanfear. It had to be her, it all fitted together. Rand was in danger, the fate of the world was in peril. Moiraine waited until Anvaere left, before she hurried into some more comfortable clothes: a loose pair of pants and a chape would do. She searched for a sword on a coffin she kept in her chambers, and placed it on her back, attached with a leather string. She opened the door to her room in a hurry, and almost collided into Guinevere, who was standing just there, with a box full of items on her arms, about to knock on the door. Moiraine found it hard not to gasp. She knew it’d be unavoidable, running into the girl, and she was prepared for it, as she had years of practing forcing her emotions confined, but nonetheless she found herself in stupor, each time she saw her. It feels like looking into a mirror.

“Oh, Aunt Moiraine,” she muttered, equally shocked, grasping on the box about to fall out of her arms, “I just wanted you to give you these—

“I don’t have time, Guinevere.” She said, walking past her, not sparing her a second glance. It wasn’t easy, turning her down like that, but it was for the best.

“Where are you going so late in the night?” The girl asked, curiosity evident in her voice, as she steadily followed her steps.

“This doesn’t concern you.” Moiraine snapped at her, rather harshly, but it didn’t seem to upset the girl, who was too busy examing her thoroughly.

“And with a sword on your back…” Guinevere muttered, suddenly going quiet, as realisation fell upon her. “You can’t touch the One Power.” She whispered. “You’ve been stilled.”

Moiraine stopped abruptly on her tracks, and turned around, holding back tears, pursing her lips into a dangerously fine line. She stared at her, an intense rush of anger reaching towards the girl, as she silently begged her not to comment on it anymore.

“Then take me with you.” Guinevere promptly said. “Whatever it is you have to do, whoever you need to fight, especially if you need a sword with you… take me.”

Moiraine fell silent, her mind racing. It did make sense, to have someone who could actually touch the Source go with her. Taking Guinevere with her, even if she were putting the girl in terrible danger, would be the cautious thing to do. The prudent, so evidently obvious and sensible thing to do… if finding Rand was indeed what mattered to her the most in the world.

“No.” She finally snarled, getting on with her path. And yet Guinevere followed. Moiraine was reminded of something Siuan had told her a few years ago, shortly after Guinevere had joined the Tower. She’s as stubborn as her mother.

“But Aunt Moiraine, you’ll need—

“I don’t need anything from you.” Moiraine said, forcing cruelty into her voice. “I can manage on my own, Guinevere.”

The girl stared back at her, dejection filling her eyes, as years of resentment and built up anger stiffened her body, yet keeping a straight face. “Fine.” She shrugged her shoulders, voice laced with poison. “Go. I don’t care.”

Moiraine turned around, as she couldn’t stand one more second of all the loathing directed her way, and left. I’m so sorry I’ve failed you too.

********

Chapter 3 here!

#wheel of time #moiraine x siuan #moiraine sedai #moiraine damodred #the wheel of time #siuraine #siuan sanche #anvaere damodred #moiraine and lan #rand al'thor x original female character #rand al'thor #mother!moiraine #moiraine fanfic #egwene al'vere #nynaeve al'meara #lanfear #elayne trakand #wot #wot on prime

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sixth-light · 1 year ago

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TGH/TDR vs WoT season 2: what's in and what's out pt 1 (characters)

WoT's in and WoT's out, that is

I thought it would be fun (for me, sorry to the rest of you) to do a little analysis of where we're actually at in terms of adapting book material and the show, now we have officially passed the adaptation of the first three books. I am looking at this, as the show/showrunner have repeatedly stated they're doing, as a whole-series adaptation question: what happens in the first three books, in terms of worldbuilding, character introductions, and plot points, which is vital for the series arc as a whole? And of that, what remains to be shown on screen and thus might end up getting cut?

This is long, so I'm going to divide it into three posts over the next day or two: Characters (who has shown up and who hasn't), Worldbuilding points (ditto), and Plot points (has it happened or not). Major book spoilers obvs as I'll be discussing which of these continue to be important throughout the series.

NB before I dive in: what doing this has shown me is that despite TDR being one of my top 3 books of the series as a whole and much-beloved more generally, it...honestly has bugger-all in terms of plot that can't be handled by the show in other ways. The structure is a straight repeat of TGH and most of the really memorable scenes are vibes and character work (Mat's duel, Perrin's blacksmithing, Egwene's Accepted test) that the show likely doesn't have time to indulge in and/or that can be used as fodder for character development on the show in different contexts (like, Perrin's blacksmithing scene is lovely and you could do a version of it whenever the show character needs to re-centre himself pretty much...right up through the end of the series.)

Anyway, on with the actual programming!

CHARACTERS

My test for listing characters here is 1) is this character a PoV character and 2) if not, do they have a genuine impact on the plot or character development of PoV characters. For example: Carlinya and Breane Taborwin appear repeatedly through the series but do nothing someone else couldn't, so there's no point in assessing the significance of them not showing up in S2 even though they first appear in TGH. Characters struck through are ones who have now been introduced or mentioned by the show.

Introduced in TEoTW but not S1 of the show

Bayle Domon Elaida Gawyn (mentioned in S2, h/t @hxans) Galad Morgase (mentioned in S2, h/t @hxans) Elyas

Immediately obvious that it's the Caemlyn crew we're waiting on, and since casting has been confirmed for at least two of them and the other two were mentioned on-screen in S2, I think there's no question Elaida, Gawyn, and Galad will be in S3. Morgase is more questionable; my money is that she either won't be in the show and/or will actually be killed by Rahvin. Hate to lose a not-really-dead mum but some characters have got to go and it will make it much harder for show viewers to accept Elayne as Queen in the late series if she's still alive actually.

Introduced/mentioned in TGH

Suroth Renna & Seta Egeanin Verin Anaiya Liandrin (S1) Alanna (S1) Siuan (S1) Leane (S1) Vandene & Adeleas (Vandene now merged with Verin) Sheriam Alviarin Hurin (merged with Elyas in the show) 'Selene' Erith Aludra Masema Uno Mazrim Taim

Of those who haven't appeared in the show, Alviarin and Anaiya are frankly questionable in terms of whether the show needs them/highly likely to be merged with other Aes Sedai the way show!Alanna and show!Verin are book!Alanna x book!Myrelle and book!Verin x book!Vandene merges. ETA: thanks to @vriah for pointing out Anaiya was mentioned by name in 2x06, although I think the rest of this point stands. There's no point introducing Erith or Aludra until the show is ready to follow through on the storylines they are crucial for, which are both late-book storylines. I don't think we'll see either of them until S4-6, although I think we WILL see them.

ETA: I forgot Egeanin first shows up here! (h/t @butterflydm) Given what they did with all the Seanchan characters I think that's a deliberate choice to not confuse the narrative with a sympathetic Seanchan character until a season where we start to ask 'can individual Seanchan be anything except antagonists'. And since we likely won't hit that until S4 at the earliest, no point casting an actress here who might not be available (c.f. Birgitte). As an example, they've already had to re-cast Egwene's mother because the S1 actress was no longer available for S3.

Introduced in TDR

Aviendha Bain & Chiad Gaul Rhuarc Juilin Sammael Be'lal Pedron Niall Jaichim Carridin Faile Noam Rahvin Liandrin's thirteen, including Joiya Byir Faolain & Theodrin Tallanvor Dyelin Berelain Darlin Sisnera Laras (h/t @undeterminedvintage)

In contrast, most of the new-in-TDR characters haven't been mentioned yet!

Rhuarc and Faile: I think you have to have Rhuarc as a male Aiel leader in S3, there's no reason for it to NOT be him, and we know Faile has been cast. Makes total sense for her to meet Perrin in S3 as they will clearly be slow-burning that romance.

Berelain: Key to a bunch of plotlines, a very fun character, but there's no point bringing her in until Perrin/Faile is a going concern (but I think crucially in the show BEFORE they are married) which won't be for a season or two. Likely to be the first example of a ruler proactively pledging to Rand.

Jaichim Carridin, Liandrin's thirteen, Noam: Necessary but also won't be brought in until they're needed, and in the case of Liandrin's crew, will just be Black Ajah sisters as needed rather than a coherent group.

Pedron Niall, Dyelin, Darlin Sisnera, Faolain & Theodrin: I think elements of all of these characters will make the show (e.g. Elayne needs a buddy noble for the Succession, the Whitecloaks have to have a commander for Valda to assassinate, Egwene needs followers within the rebels) but they could be radically different and in some cases will likely take on other roles as well, though more likely than not under these names.

Rahvin, Gaul, Juilin, Tallanvor, Laras: I don't think any of these characters will make the cut for the show or if they do they'll be significantly merged with others. We only have room for two other male Forsaken and one of them has to be Asmodean, Tallanvor only matters if you do a Morgase storyline, Juilin and Laras are fun flavour and that's mostly it, and sorry Gaul fans but really what does he do aside from create sideshow romantic drama.

Be'lal: Out for sure since there's only 8 Forsaken.

Introduced in TSR

Lanfear-as-Lanfear (for Rand) and Moghedien...both don't show up until TSR actually, so we're ahead of the game there! Also possibly with Anvaere if she takes over Colavaere's later role (sob).

One other character note - it is still fascinating to me that the show chose to use obscure or non-existent names for the Brown sisters Verin spoke with in S2, as there are 30+ named Brown sisters in the books, many of whom could easily have filled those roles. The show isn't afraid to use existing sisters and even kill them (c.f. Maigan) so...what drove that decision? I thought it might be so they could be killed in the Tower Coup but now Maigan's dead I'm not sure!

Next time: worldbuilding!

#wheel of time #wot tv show #wot s2 spoilers #wot book spoilers #wot s3 speculation #I don't THINK I missed anybody v important but let me know if I did!

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