#edward teach kiss me challenge

[edscuntyeyeshadow]

rhys darby how in the everloving FUCK do you do That. with your face??? he looks like he’s gonna melt 🥺🥺🥺

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles December challenge.

Sleeping with Spiders

Prompt Day 12: Only One Bed | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | Tags: College AU, Meet-Cute, Only One Bed, First Kiss

"I think you're in my bed," a voice says, and Steve looks up from the class schedule he's studying while he lounges on his new dorm room bed. 

There's a long-haired guy standing in his doorway. 

“Uh, what?” Steve asks, staring at this guy. 

Steve's room is a single, so this is definitely his bed. It's the only one in the room, and surely this guy can see that. It’s kinda hard to miss. The guy waves a paper at him, and steps inside, dropping his bags to the floor with a thud. He hands the paper to Steve, and Steve skims it, and sure enough, this is his room assignment, too.

Steve fetches the same paper with his name on it, and hands it over. Same room. 

"They've fucked up," Steve says, comparing them, seeing the guy’s name at the top, “Edward.”

"Eddie,” he corrects, then adds, “and you don't say…”

“Steve,” Steve offers.

“They've definitely fucked up, Steve.”

They probably need to tell their RA, so this can get fixed.

Keith, the RA, is spectacularly unhelpful. His only advice was to wait until Monday to take it up with the housing department. It’s Friday night. Or, there’s an open bed in room 704, he offered. They both go look into 704 and there’s a shirtless guy with a mullet, cigarette dangling from his lip, stomping around like he’s mad at the world. They both look at each other. Hard pass.

Steve thinks taking their chances with each other has to be better than whatever that situation would be, so he nods his head back towards their double-assigned room.

They both sit on the bed. They can make this work for the weekend. 

“I can crash on the floor,” Eddie says, “since you’ve already put on all your bedding.”

Steve nods, “Maybe we can get an air mattress?” 

“I’m not buying an air mattress for three nights, rich boy,” Eddie says, teasing, but Steve can tell he’s serious. "Floor's fine." 

And the first night does go fine, and they spend Saturday hanging out in this single room with two occupants. Eddie's fun, Steve likes him, even if they are nothing alike.

Eddie has a guitar, so he tries to teach Steve to play, but finally gives up once he realizes it's a losing game. But Eddie plays, and their floormates stop by the door Eddie propped open. 

Steve wouldn't have thought to do that, but they're meeting people, even if none of them look like anyone Eddie would want to be friends with. 

"I have a band, back home. They're younger than me, so I promised my Uncle I'd at least try college, while I wait for them to graduate."

Steve nods, "That's cool."

"I'm in the music program," Eddie adds. 

Steve points to himself, "Business." 

"Good, that's good. That means I can call on you to be the money man, when we get rich and famous." 

Steve laughs, "Sure, you do that."

That night, Steve offers to switch bed for floor, but Eddie refuses. Which was fine until Steve bolts upright, startled awake. 

"Spider! On my face!" Eddie screams, and someone next door bangs on the wall. Great. This asshole is going to make his neighbors hate him before he gets gone to the right room on Monday. 

"I'm coming up!" Eddie says. 

"You're not coming up!" Steve hisses back. 

"It's my bed!" 

"I think not!" 

"You can share, or you can sleep with the spiders!" 

This bed is a single, a twin XL, whatever that is. There's not room for two guys in it, no way. At least not two near strangers. Steve likes Eddie, and wouldn’t be opposed to a little company from him, not at all. And Steve doesn’t need dinner first, not really, but he also doesn’t just crawl in bed to actually sleep with random dudes. No way.

But he scoots towards the wall, trying to make room for Eddie.

 

Steve wakes up in the morning, and Eddie has a leg slung over his thighs, teetering on the edge of the bed. Steve puts a hand on Eddie's back, just to make sure he doesn’t fall and break his neck.

Eddie leans into the touch, and Steve scratches his blunt nails against the thin cotton of Eddie’s t-shirt. It’s kinda nice being close to someone, even if they’re a random stranger that’s just stuck in your room, with nowhere else to go.

Steve feels when Eddie wakes up, because he tenses. 

“Shit. Sorry,” Eddie says, but there really isn’t much room to escape.

Steve rubs his back, “It’s fine. Honest.”

Eddie takes him for his word, and slings his arm across Steve’s bare chest. Steve likes it. He’s probably digging himself a hole here. 

What else is new? 

Eddie strokes his chest, running his fingers through the hair there, before moving down to the hair leading into his shorts. That's. That's interesting. He's interested in that. Definitely. 

Steve rolls onto his side, scooting towards the wall to make more room, and Eddie follows. Steve reaches forward and tucks Eddie's wild morning hair behind his ear. He wants to see his face. 

"This okay?" Steve asks. 

Eddie nods, so Steve leans forward to kiss him. Eddie meets him, and Steve's loving this. 

Eddie kisses him like it's all he wants to do in the world, and Steve clings to him, breathing hard and heavy into his mouth. He hopes his breath isn't terrible, but if it's, neither of them seem to care. 

He keeps kissing him, touching him and thinks this room mistake was the best case scenario, now. 

Eddie rolls on top of him. 

Steve suddenly has a thought, "Was there even a spider?" 

Eddie cackles, "No." 

Later, Steve poses a question, "Maybe we just don't tell anyone we were both assigned here?"

"Only if you think we can sneak a double bed in here," Eddie says, grinning. 

Steve thinks that's totally doable. Robin will happily create a diversion for that to happen. 

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see more of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my Steddie Holiday Drabbles tag, right here!

[ds30below]

shade_nightwalker's old fic finds

Crossposted from Dreamwidth with permission

Reclist post at ds-ficminers.

"Happy 30 Below history week!

I've been digging through the archived Hexwood sites, and found some more stories not available on AO3."

Mod addition: bear in mind that this is a masterlist, not a reclist, and some of the stories on it are very of their time. Due to its length and different tagging conventions (or lack thereof) at the time, I haven't been able to tag this post comprehensively.

Amber: I Dream of Bennie

Cheryl Barnes: Peaches and Creme

Katrina Bowen: Someone to Watch Over Me

Compass aka mnemosyne23: Solitude My Guide

Corrinne aka Cassandra Hope: Healing Love Home Life 2: The Neighbors Nicholas' Story Pancakes for Breakfast Teaching Mom the Computer

Miriam Elizabeth Cooper: A Drop of Golden Sun

Catalina Dudka: The Bet - or Baking Cookies with the Kitchen Challenged

Diana Leigh Edwards: A Mountain Crag Left

Kari Eissinger aka Cheezhed aka Dueser: A Cop, Two Mounties and A Baby Confessions Iraqi Dream I Wear The Uniform Jack's Day Possessive Obsessions (Obsessions 1) Rescued From The Ashes Road Trip To Hell (Obsessions 3) Slipping Through My Fingers (Obsessions 4) The Room Without A View Time To Heal (Obsessions 2) To The Death You Can Never go Back

elaine: Things Change

Ffand aka Harriet Vane: Two To To Victoria Returns

Sharon Gillson: Coming Home You Will Always Have Friends

Leslie Goodwin: Chicago Heat

Barbara Griffith: The Dreaming

Janet Horsman aka Janet Lawrence: Upheaval

maria jackson: I wanna kiss ya in Paris, Ben

Chris Lark: Let's Stay Engaged

Gilda Lily aka BradyGirl_12: Under the Christmas Tree

Marie-Andrée: Any Excuse to Burst into Song Be Strong for Me Not Easy Sometimes

Maya: Due North

mohairbear: Nosebleed

Silvia Mosca: Train of thoughts

Cate North: Fallen For All That's Lost If The Shoe Fits... Neige

Pollytiks: A Self-Contained Woman The Adventures of Margaret and Frannie The Adventures of Meg & Ben....oh, and Ray too, of course! The Button Casting Out Demons The Evidence For The Love Of Margaret A Luv Pome Snowblind Toggle Heart The Train

Karin Ransdell: Blessed Are the Peacemakers Golden Feather (Sequel to Meadows of Heaven) Meadows of Heaven We Ourselves The Week's Second Sunday

The Raven aka estellarose: Lucky Chance (A New Perspective 1) Savior Xenophobia (A New Perspective 2)

Diana Read: Afterbath

Caroline von Trott: An Ordinary Stake-out Realizations

Laura Trout aka mrs_fish: Dreams Really Do Come True

Alberta Skies: Conceived In An Igloo, Born In A Barn (complete!) Reality Found (complete!)

Dee Smith aka Wolfwalker: Bitter Winds Bitter Nights Bitter Sweet Bitter Thaw Bitter Pause Bitter Ground Bitter Dreams Twenty Four Hours Two Poems

Lee Sterling: The Victims No One Knows

Elizabeth Vecchio: Fool in Love

Shinz Wong: Going Home

unknown: Chicago Passage Dream Catcher Flowers for Ceila No Love Lost Story You Know How it is With Mounties...

Welmach: Independence Day On the Edge

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

[flowersarefreetherapy]

Hold On: I Feel So Unprepared

CW: Hopelessness, depression, dysfunctional family dynamics, romanticization of the BBU system,

Logan takes a deep breath and slides his clothes into the dresser. It’s the last time he’ll ever have to do all the laundry. 

His brothers scream at each other as they get ready for bed. His father shouts at them from the living room to be quiet. Logan reiterates the order and the boys settle down. When they’re quiet, he slips out of the room and down to the living room. 

“I, I, I finished the laundry,” he whispers, sitting down on the end of the couch. He tucks his knees to his chest, making himself as small as he possibly can. 

“Great,” his mom mutters, not looking up from her phone. She’s still wearing her work uniform. His dad’s attention never turns away from the television. Football. Again. He swears and throws back the rest of his beer. 

Logan pulls out his phone, angling it slightly away from them. He types in a familiar address, staring hard at the name. WRU Acquisition Center. The flier remains in the back of his closet. Rumpled and faded by years of being moved around, but still there. The number engraved in his mind. 

I can’t do this. I have to get out of here. 

“The dishes weren’t done when we got home,” his dad says during an ad break. “Your mom had to do them after a fourteen-hour shift.”

“I, I did them!” Logan protests. “I did after, after, um–when dinner finished.” 

“Well apparently you didn’t.” His dad sighs and snaps his fingers. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, Logan.”

He forces himself to meet his dad’s gaze. It makes the back of his neck itch to do so. 

“We ask you to do a simple thing, and you can’t even do that? You’re seventeen. You’re not a kid any longer.”

“I’m sorry,” Logan whispers. “I’ll do, do better.”

His father nods and turns back to the television. Without another word, Logan stands and walks to the bedroom. He pulls the covers over his head. 

One more day. One more day. I can make it one more day. 

He falls asleep to the sound of his brothers’ soft snores and the soft laughter of his sisters through the wall. Surrounded by family. 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The next morning is a Saturday. He puts on his favorite pair of ripped jeans and the faded graphic t-shirt a friend gave him years ago. It still fits perfectly. Logan slides his hands down the rough design and lets out a shaking breath. 

Soon. It’ll be over soon. 

Logan presses a kiss to Edward’s forehead and smiles at the rest of his brothers. They are so quiet in their sleep, so peaceful and happy. He hurries towards the door before he can doubt his choice. 

Guilt settles heavily in his stomach. Walking through the house is a challenge, the floors creaking under his feet. He reaches the front door and pauses. This is it. He leaves the house and he isn’t coming back. Logan presses his forehead to the door. There have been some good times, despite all the pain. Laughing with his siblings, Christmases when they all sat around the table and couldn’t stop joking, playing in the backyard when they had a dog, chasing each other through the grove of trees they called a forest. 

But there are too many unhappy memories to think about staying. Working eighteen hours a day taking care of his siblings because his parents aren’t home, and haven’t been since he was ten. Struggling to teach himself his school subjects because his parents won’t, then turning around and teaching his siblings. He’s never had a moment to himself. Every part of his seventeen years have been given to his siblings and not a moment to himself.

Never again. 

It’s a short walk to the Acquisition Center. Pink and orange sunlight illuminates the streets as the sun rises above the buildings around him. Someone is listening to rock music. A car alarm goes off. It’s part of his walk to the football field. He steps over a crack that trips his siblings every time. This is his city and will stay his city, even when he doesn’t remember it. 

But someone will love you. And that is what is important. Someone will love you, and just you. 

Logan stops. His heart races. He can’t fully breathe. The building looms in front of him. It’s nothing like he thought it would. Instead of the symmetrical concrete he was expecting, the building is old and made out of brick. It looks like something from an old movie, with a large wrap around porch and bright flowers in window boxes. A sign on the front lawn is all that’s there to remind passers-by of the building’s actual purpose; WRU, written in a gold, swirling font. 

With a deep breath, he walks up to the door. It smells like cinnamon inside. Logan wipes off his shoes and steps up to the dark oak receptionist desk. A young woman sits behind it and she smiles brightly when he walks in. 

“Good morning. Can I help you?”

“Um, y-y-yeah, um, I was . . . um, I was wondering, I-sorry.”

“No reason to apologize, take your time.”

Logan sucks in a deep breath. “I want to, to sign up. Register. What, whatever it’s called.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh. And you are signing willingly, of your own volition?”

Logan sharply nods. He doesn’t trust his voice. Or his knees. The chairs in the sitting area to his right look very inviting. 

The receptionist smiles. It’s strained. “Um, just a moment. Let me find this paperwork . . .”

“Thank you.”

Logan shifts his weight, staring at the wooden floor. Seconds later, a clipboard is set in front of him. He takes it and the offered pen to one of the chairs. Dust poofs around him. Weird. Do people sign so fast they don’t need to sit? Is it that easy? Or do they not sit? Is he supposed to sit? The back of his neck prickles with the thought of doing something wrong, but when he looks at the receptionist, she isn’t looking at him, simply typing away at the computer. 

Logan takes a deep breath and turns his attention to the paperwork. 

Easy things, like name and age and birth date are first. He shifts his birth year back one year, noting the bold print saying each applicant must be eighteen or older to sign up. This is illegal, but he moves on to the next section of questions. There is no possible way he can survive another year in his house. 

The next set of questions are short, but harder to answer. Logan stares at the questions asking his sexuality far longer than he should. 

You know the answer. You know the answer. Just write it down. You don’t have all day. She’s thinking you’re taking too long.

Another glance at the receptionist. She doesn’t care. But he can’t help feeling that she is judging him. 

Just mark it. You know the answer. 

Logan takes a deep breath and writes down three letters he never allowed himself to think. A weight lifts off his chest that he didn’t know existed. Before he can think too deeply about what he just admitted, Logan moves on to the next questions. 

There’s a list of choices. He skims over them quickly, already knowing which he wants. Companion. He fills in the entire box, just in case there is any confusion about his choice. Bonded is the next question and he leaves it blank. There was nothing on the website about whatever that is and he doesn’t want to mess with something he doesn’t understand. 

All that is left is his signature. Logan stares at the blank line, pen hovering over the paper. He glances back at the receptionist. She is looking at him this time and gives a gentle smile. 

“Take all the time you need.”

“Th-thank you.”

It’s all he needs. Logan signs his name, ignoring how the cursive loops shake from nerves. He shoves himself to his feet and hurries to the desk, nearly throwing the papers at the receptionist in his hurry. She smiles and takes the papers. 

“Thank you. Welcome home.”

Tagging: @blood-is-compulsory @darkthingshappen @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @whumpinggrounds @pigeonwhumps @cepheusgalaxy (let me know if you want to be added/removed!)

[darkpersonapeace]

20 questions for writers

I was tagged by my other half @wingsofescape for this and it sounds fun! (thank you babe, you made my shitty day a little better)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28 (I had to open my ao3 and check because, oh boy, since when I write that much?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

274,269 (just found out there is a thing call "Statistics" so I don't have to count them one by one, ao3 is awesome)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly FMA! Very much Ed and Winry in different worlds but also, some cannon because FMA lives in my heart and mind, rent free, since I first watched fifteen years ago. I also wrote 2 fica for Arcane and 1 fic for The Witcher (but this one was a birthday gift)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

resting on a knife, you heavy souls - 793 kudos (Arcane)

it's called home - 312 kudos (FMA)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to! I used to answer all of them and I love love comments and discuss about fics, but since last year I am emotionally unable to reply to the amazing comments I get! Maybe someday I'll return replying comments, but right now, I am loving to write the stories and just enjoy this bit.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's mercy, my love, or I'll crumble (FMA) because it's the only time I wrote a bittersweet/angst with no happy ending story.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending? Pretty much all my fics, but if I'd to choose one, I'd say it's you drew stars around my scars because it ends with one of the best kissing scenes I ever wrote and:

Edward smirks, the light reaching his eyes. 

"I think that’s okay," He links their fingers and stares at her, his eyes shining, like the young man he has always been. "My heart has always been yours, anyway." 

or maybe war tangles the strings that binds us because there's is ANGST in there but in the end, they kind of end up together:

"You said prophecies always come to life. And the prophecy said Ed — the heir of the sun — would conquer the moon." 

Pianko hums and looks ahead. He follows her eyesight again and sees, like a secret spectator, the palpable love in front of them. 

Old Granny smiles again when Edward holds her granddaughter's hand, his fingers traveling against her cheek while Winry smiles the happiest smile Pinako has ever seen.

Pinako smiles wisely. "I think he already has." 

OR it's my canon au where Ed is a stay at home dad who ends up (unnoticed) adopting a young girl to teach her alchemy in keep your little heart warm:

"I saw you talking before, you are an alchemist, right?" The man says, pointing at Edward. "And a teacher?" 

Edward frowns for a moment, before staring at Amelia. She just raises her brows, challenging him to answer for real this time – he never does, he jests, dodges the question, leaves them talking about, but never an answer – but he just smiles, fondly at her. 

Edward takes a step closer, rubbing Amelia's head in the same fatherly way he does since she was ten. "Nah, I'm just a stay at home dad." 

So, yeah. Maybe all of them?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hmmm, sometimes. I deleted all the comments but I did receive like two or three angry comments but it was very clear they were sexist and just stupid, so I ignore them.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, boy. Oh, BOY. DO I WRITE SMUT? so so, hear me out: it wasn't my plan to write that MUCH SMUT in my life, but as it turns out, here we are. I do very much write smut. A lot of it. Almost filthy smut, some may say.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope, never did and don't think I will.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Ah... I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I translate my all the time because English is not my first language lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Mentally? All the time. @woahpip and @wingsofescape are the greatest writers in this place and they always help my write stuff.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh, boy. Definitely Edward and Winry, but I do have some others that I will never write about.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The bodyguard au prequel! I wrote ten pages of that already, I'd love to finish but I don't think I will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

None? ASDABSBJHJH kidding, okay. Maybe write from the heart? I try to make my characters, in any universe, as human as possible. More than once I find myself rethinking dialogues because "no no, that person wouldn't answer like that, that's too fast". And perhaps the ability to write smut in a tender way? I focus more on what the characters are feeling than on the act itself.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

No matter how much I try, I'll never portray exactly what I want in my stories because language is a huge barrier. I understand English and I can write but I don't feel English, it's different. And grammar mistakes? Only writing when my brain wants to? Idk, there's a bunch.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

LMAAAAAO, read the other answers, sometimes it's very easy! Sometimes it sucks because I don't feel the other language like I can feel mine (Babel Tower, I fucking hate you)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

FMA <3

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh, boy. Canon FMA Brotherhood, I'd say you drew stars around my scars. Alternative Universe? Right now, the bodyguard au, welcome to my cage, little lover

this was so FUN! <3 I'm tagging here @woahpip, @emmagency and anyone who wants to!

[yerbamansa]

did i just waste a bunch of time making a 20-song playlist (on Tidal) for the version of edward teach from my own ofmd modern AU because of that one "don't use these artists" challenge? yes, yes, i did. he's not even the main character of that series, just the one i most readily associate with specific music.

i didn't bother futzing with the order, sorry.

Only Love Can Break Your Heart - Neil Young Man in Black - Johnny Cash These Boots Are Made for Walkin' - Nancy Sinatra All My Love Is Coming Back To Me - S.G. Goodman Where the Lavender Grows - Mya Byrne House of the Rising Sun - The Animals The Pharoahs - Neko Case Broken Cowboy - The Dead Souht Idea of Love - Kira Skov & Mark Lanegan Freak - Grace Cummings Walking After Midnight - Patsy Cline Beyond the Stars - Tami Neilson feat. Willie Nelson Queen of the Rodeo - Orville Peck The One I Love - R.E.M. Kiss Me Like You Mean It - The Magnetic Fields Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell Temporary Nature (Of Any Precious Thing) - Lucinda Williams Piece of My Heart - Erma Franklin Let the Mystery Be - Iris Dement Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

waiting for the wind to throw me down

by chaotic_neutral_knitter

Everyone was staring at Stede. He just wanted to run and hide, but he kept smiling, feeling like his face was about to break.

“Really, guys, it’s okay.”

“But Captain -”

Something inside Stede snapped.

“I don’t want to go! Okay? I don’t want to go back to the fucking beach!”

For a single, glorious second, everything was silent. Then Stede realized what he’d done. He saw it reflected in the various expressions of hurt and confusion on the faces of his crew, the uncomfortable silence laying heavily between them all. He clapped his hands over his stupid, traitorous mouth.

“Sorry!” he said, his voice coming out in a squeak from between his fingers. Then he fled.

Stede yells at the crew and runs away about it. Ed comes to find him.

Words: 4502, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Crew of the Revenge (Our Flag Means Death)

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet

Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 01, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Stede Bonnet talk about your feelings challenge, Stede Bonnet has Sensory Issues, Crying, Kissing, kissing while crying, no beta we die like lucius DEFINITELY DIDN'T

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/45925618

[krakensmaw]

🎲 14 : a kiss to the stomach. @pyratezlife / jack.

𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒, & 𝐄𝐃𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐅 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 : from the battlefield to the bedroom, they were never one to let a challenge go unanswered. for that's what it felt like jack's flirtations boiled down to. challenges. dares, pushing him to the brink of whatever BOUNDS he had once set for himself and seeing where they would cave. but ed teach had never been a quitter ( for better or worse ).

it was how he had found himself here. ON THEIR KNEES before jack, behind closed doors. except that the closed door they happened to be behind was that of captain ben hornigold's quarters. old ben was ashore for the evening, doing who knows what ; maybe the same as them, though edward distinctly doubted the man could still get it up. jack, however, didn't seem to have an issue. drunk or otherwise.

hurried hands rucked up the man's shirt and pressed a slew of open mouthed kisses to the exposed flesh, lower and lower. abdomen, stomach, the jut of a rolling hip. rushed and EAGER for the taste of salt and the heavy weight of jack on their tongue. deft fingertips made quick work of the man's trousers and yanked them down just enough to free his cock. one prompt shove backward had the other stumbling into HORNIGOLD'S favourite chair. like a fucking throne or something.

❛ you gonna tell me how pretty i am, captain rackham ? ❜ they slipped between jack's spread knees, a hand at either thigh, and stared up at him. big brown eyes through those dark lashes. his grin was as dangerous as it was mischievous. there was NO WARNING at all ere those same kisses, open mouthed and wet, were pressed down the length of jack's shaft. all along the underside, base to tip, where they paused to suck just beneath the head.

plush lips parted and paused. allowed jack the view of his cock poised 'pon their tongue. then they closed round him and SLID down to the base in one smooth glide, throat fluttering 'round the tip.

[iamdexter123]

Top 10 character essence tag

Thank you to @mariahwritesstuff - sorry this was a bit delayed! It took a bit of thinking but I loved it!

Rules:  A challenge to give your Top 10 favourite characters, based on their ESSENCE. They have to be favourite characters that also have a deeper literary value, where you enjoy their specific role in the story, and this means that the list also should exclude characters that would normally count as favourites if for purely nostalgic reasons. They can be from film, tv, or written media, anything.

Pretty sure these will all be along the same theme of people carrying heavy burdens at the cost to themselves.

Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

Atticus was my first exposure to The Stoic and I have drunk deeply at that well ever since. He is the lawyer that every lawyer wants to be: measured and impartial yet feels injustice deeply. He knows he is on the losing side, knows it will cause him and his family pain (and danger) and yet he cannot turn away. He just can’t.

Elinor Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility

Oh Elinor, the responsibility you carry! Putting everyone before you—even those who don’t deserve it—to your own detriment. She is my second Stoic. She was ready to carry those burdens to her old maid grave until Edward in the Key of F Major cleared up the confusion of his marital status. Thank Christ he did too.

Chidi Anagonye, The Good Place

A man who got sent to hell because he just couldn’t. Make. A. Decision. But he was so earnest about trying to do the right thing and live a good life; I love that. He always kept trying, no matter what was thrown at him. It made him neurotic and anxious but still he persevered.

Samantha Caine / Charlene “Charlie” Baltimore, The Long Kiss Goodnight

When Susie Homemaker’s memory returns she finds out she’s an elite assassin. I love how this character moved from Mum of the Year to Kill Everyone and then eventually found some happy medium between the two extremes. Also she was just boss.

Father Andrew Kiernan, Stigmata

Okay at one point in time a whole bunch of religious films came out at once: when I say a whole bunch, I probably just mean Stigmata and End of Days. I really loved the soundtrack to this movie, but I also loved Father Kiernan; a priest but also a man of science. The movie pushed him hard between his logic and his belief and he navigated it respectfully according to his own truth. I’ll probably lump him in as a Stoic too.

Iorek Byrnison, His Dark Materials

Principled, loyal and independent. Love that in a bear. Every story has to have a loyal sidekick and Iorek is one of the best. He is Lyra’s greatest protector. Saul Silva, Fate: The Winx Saga

My current obsession. He is the only adult in the show to have a tragic backstory, which set him up from episode 1 to be the Character That Carries The Heavy Burden. Not only that, they made him kill his best friend. And yet still he fronts up to work and teaches kids how to be good human beings. A+ Stoic.

Anne Elliott, Persuasion

Overlooked, quiet, long-suffering Anne. She listened to her family and said no to the marriage proposal of the man she loved and regretted it immediately. She took one for the team and received nothing but a broken heart. What a surprise, another Stoic.

Eowyn, Lord Of The Rings Trilogy

Boss bitch Eowyn. Heart of a lion but alas a woman, she wasn’t allowed to protect her people the way she wanted. Did it stop her? Hells no. She forged her own way forward and Middle Earth was better for it. She also snagged herself a great husband in Faramir (my fave). And finally… Owen Meany, A Prayer For Owen Meany

Who would have guessed that a shorter-than-average, painfully high-pitched boy whose dialogue was written “ENTIRELY IN CAPITALS THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE BOOK” would teach me to appreciate how miraculous it is that we are alive. Tagging @radley21, @astrid-v, @theyhaveacavetroll, and @septemberrie if you’d like to have a go. It’s harder than you think so if you don’t do it I understand!

[imagine--if]

Hi!! I've got a request for Dano!Riddler if you're not too busy with other asks - I just love the way you write for the Riddler ❤ Could you do an imagine with him and the reader (his s/o) getting ready for some more Riddler mayhem and he's just teaching her puzzles and adores how clever she is? I just really want more writing where Eddie's acting like the Riddler he is lol - thanks in advance!

A/N: Hey! Thank yooouu 😊 I'm always open for requests, so don't be shy! I've been listening to The Batman soundtrack while I write and it's seriously the best music 🖤 especially Catwoman's, the strings and tune is just to die for hehehe Yea cmon peoples, let's write more of Eddie in his Riddler getup obsessing and adoring and simping over the reader 😚

Pairing: Dano!Riddler x reader (The Batman 2022)

Warnings: The Batman spoilers?? And our fave Gotham villain 💚 (Also the reader's kinda fine with all the killing lmao)

Words: 427

The naturally gloomy skies of Gotham were darkening as the evening ticked on, and Eddie was ready to make another appearance as the Riddler. You came, sometimes, hiding your identity and watching the show play out. The whole time, though, he made sure to keep you close, and it often happened where the victim was being threatened, but you were standing in front of the Riddler, his arms wrapped protectively around your waist as he challenged and taunted them.

Like, if they didn't get the riddle right and you did, then it's bye-bye to them. He always praised you for your cleverness in adoring tones, brushing your hair away from your face and leaving some of the decisions up to you on camera proudly.

This time, what with work and various other things going on, you're a little too tired to come along tonight. He understood completely when you told him, determined that you rest, even asking if you preferred him to stay at home, although he would have to redo part of his plan. You shook your head with a smile and encouraged him to go on anyway.

He's almost ready now, in the Riddler mindset already, his green hoodie soft and warm as you hug him tightly. He picks you up with ease, carrying you over to the sofa as he glances at the notes you were writing. Edward's recently thought of teaching you riddles and ingenious puzzles, and every time you get them right, he couldn't be prouder or more turned on.

He hummed in interest as his eyes scanned the work, answering questions and riddles he'd written for you to solve beforehand, rubbing an arm distractedly up and down your arm. After a minute or so, he smiled widely, hugging you closer.

"You got them all right," he marvelled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, then to your lips, resting his forehead against yours. "My clever girl."

You smile and blush. "Well, it's you who's teaching me."

"And you're doing so well," he coos, wrapping his arms fully around you and nuzzling his face in your neck. "I'll miss you, angel. But I won't be long."

Your smile grows, and you pull away, running your fingers through his hair. "I know."

He gently moves you off his lap onto the sofa, getting up and grabbing his mask and coat, his signature question mark sprayed in white adorning it.

"Text me if you need anything, or if something doesn't feel right," he tells you, and you nod. "I love you, darling."

[blackacre13]

This depends on who do you think is more of a boobs girl, Lou or Deb. My prompt is one of them takes the challenge to make the other one come just by nipple play 🙊

(I am blaming Sarah Edwards’ choice of cleavage-dominant vests and waistcoat ensembles for my decision here, but it is my personal canon that Lou is an ass fan and Debs is a boobs fan and both of them are very aware and tease-heavy when it comes to selecting their wardrobes. I will not elaborate.)

“You have got to stop doing that.”

“I’m not doing anything, Debbie,” the blonde smirked, fingers flipping another glossy page of her magazine, but only after being sure to lick her thumb for grip while maintaining direct eye contact with the brunette. Contents of the magazine be damned.

“You’re flirting with me,” Debbie sighed, crossing her arms as she leaned back in her chair. “You’re supposed to be helping me find a fence.”

“I’m not flirting with you,” Lou chuckled, shooting a wink at her partner before her focus returned to the magazine. “I’m reading.”

“Which is also not helping me.”

“I’m listening,” the blonde exhaled, licking her thumb again with a dramatic sigh as she flipped the page. “Some of us can multitask. Others, clearly not.”

“Put those things away then,” Debbie growled. “It’s distracting.”

“The paper motorcycles?”

“Your tits, Louise.”

“Pervert,” Lou scoffed. “I have a face, Deb.”

“You do this on purpose.”

“Do not,” Lou lied, a knowing smile playing at her lips before she flipped the magazine shut and drew back her chair, standing and looking down at the brunette. “We done here?”

“We haven’t even started,” Debbie protested.

“Then do something about it,” Lou announced with a shrug, starting to walk away before Debbie’s nails were digging into her shoulder, spinning her around.

“Lou, we have work to do,” she hissed, their noses practically touching as she glared at the blonde. “You promised to help.”

“That doesn’t sound like me,” Lou grinned, tossing Debbie another wink.

“You’re infuriating,” Debbie growled.

“Then why are you turned on right now?” The blonde asked, eyebrow raised as she leaned back against the wall, looking triumphant.

“Seriously?” Debbie snapped. “I am not—“ the brunette cut herself off with a gasp, Lou’s hand slipping into her pants as she stared Debbie down, daring her to deny it precisely what the blonde could feel.

“You were saying?”

“You know what?” Debbie huffed. “You’re right. You are absolutely infuriating. And I’m going to wipe that smirk right off your face.”

“You’re not getting in my pants,” Lou laughed, shit-eating grin still plastered on her face. “So best of luck, honey.”

“Who said anything about your pants, Miller?” Debbie whispered, nails raking down Lou’s chest, not stopping as they grazed her breasts peeking out from her vest, before tangling her fingers into Lou’s gold chains, the blonde’s eyes widening as she looked down at Debbie.

“What are you doing?” Lou asked, her voice already lower, eyes darting down to Debbie’s fingers, still playing with her chains, sliding the cool metal across Lou’s ivory skin.

“Teaching you a lesson,” Debbie smirked, fingers slipping underneath Lou’s vest, her fingers twisting fiercely as the blonde let out a low hiss. “Reminding you what happens when you distract your partner instead of helping.”

“Ocean, that sounds like a personal—Fucking shit.”

“You were saying?” Debbie asked, flicking one of Lou’s nipples fiercely.

“How are you possibly going to even manage—“

“Please,” Debbie smirked, unbuttoning the vest slowly as Lou looked down in awe. “Keep your pants on,” Debbie laughed. “No need to get your panties in a twist. These nipples however—“

“Jesus, Deb,” the blonde cursed, Debbie’s tongue darting out to flick around her nipple before tugging at it with her teeth.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Debbie whispered, kissing Lou’s breast softly before taking a bruising bite that made Lou moan. “I can make you come just like this. Right here. Right now.”

[homoose]

Teach Me Something I Don’t Know: Part I

Summary: When Will asks him to pick Michael up from school, Spencer may or may not develop a schoolboy crush on the kindergarten teacher.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: none

Word count: 2.5k

a/n: Here she is! I’m not sure exactly what it is about Spencer Reid x teacher!reader, but it is my most requested fic topic, and I am happy to oblige! This is the first in a multi-part series. Weird is Good also takes place in this verse. Any teacher!reader requests will be folded into this verse as well, so feel free to continue sending me those!

Series Masterlist

Click here for the story mentioned, read by everybody’s fave Michelle Obama.

———

“A strong geographical profile is one of the most important pieces of the overall behavioral profile; it significantly narrows the area the team has to cover, allows for law enforcement teams to prioritize and maximize limited resources, and helps focus the investigation in conjunction with the other elements of the profile. And that wraps our section on building geographical profiles!” Spencer smiled at the faces in front of him, gesturing to the board. “The information we covered today will make up a significant portion of your midterm, so make sure to review it before next week. See you all next Thursday!”

As his students began packing up their things, Spencer’s phone rang from inside his bag. When he retrieved the phone and saw Will’s name on the caller ID, his brow furrowed in concern. “Will— everything ok?”

“Hey, yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” he assured him. “I’m sorry to ask, but JJ’s on a case, and my partner and I just finished our last call clear on the other side of the city. Henry’s got soccer practice, but Michael’s gotta be picked up in about— well, shit, right about now. Would you mind picking him up and bringing him ‘round to the house?”

Spencer looped the strap of his bag over his shoulder and started up the aisle out of the lecture hall. “Yeah, of course! It’s over by the Naval Observatory, right?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. If you pull ‘round the parking lot, they usually come out the side door. His teacher’s real sweet, Ms. Y/L/N. I’ll let her know you’re picking him up.”

“Okay, sounds good.” Spencer pushed open the door and made his way down the hall.

“You’re the best,” Will drawled. “I’ll only be about half an hour.”

…

When Spencer pulled the baby blue Volvo into the parking lot of the school, he saw Michael and Ms. Y/L/N sitting on the steps of school. Their heads were so close they were almost touching, looking down at a book laying across their laps. Her legs were stretched out straight and she pointed down to the page, saying something that made Michael throw his little head back in a laugh that floated in through the open window of the car. Spencer grinned at the familiar sound as he pulled around the carpool loop.

When he recovered from the giggles, Michael caught sight of the car and waved his hand excitedly at Spencer. Ms. Y/L/N looked up and gave a wave as well, albeit a little less vigorous. She closed the book and turned her torso slightly to unzip Michael’s backpack and drop the book into it.

Spencer put the car in park, stepped out, and walked around the car to meet the two of them. Michael was already up and running, throwing himself at Spencer’s legs and hugging them tightly. He leaned down to return the hug. “Hey, buddy! How was school?”

“It was amazing,” Michael gushed, pulling out of the hug to gesture wildly. “We learned how to write the zzz sound, and now we know all the sounds! Oh, and then we used blocks in math, and that was so fun, because Ms. Y/L/N let us build with them when we were done counting. Oh, and then we learned about frogs, and they are so cool. Did you know that frogs have night vision? Oh, and Ms. Y/L/N said I could borrow my favorite book from the classroom library! She read it to me already while we were waiting for you, but maybe you could read it to me, too? I can read some of the words but not all of them yet, so I still need some help.”

Spencer smiled widely at him. “Wow, that does sound like an amazing day. I did know that about frogs, actually! And of course, I’d love to read with you.”

“The book’s called Giraffe Problems, and it’s about this giraffe named Edward who doesn’t like his neck.” Michael looked at Ms. Y/L/N. “What’s the turtle’s name again?”

“Cyrus,” Ms. Y/L/N reminded him.

“Right, Cyrus.” He looked at Spencer. “See, that one is tricky because c’s don’t usually make the sss sound, but sometimes they do. Ms. Y/L/N’s teaching me about it, even though she said it’s kinda hard for kindergarten.”

“Because you’ve got a big, powerful brain, right?” she said, tapping her temple and winking at Michael. “I’m Ms. Y/L/N, by the way. You must be the infamous uncle Spencer. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Then she smiled at him and his big, powerful brain melted inside of his skull.

Michael continued talking, and Spencer briefly wondered if this is how people felt when he rambled. Michael lost his attention immediately, because all he could do was stare at Ms. Y/L/N. Her eyes glinted with humor as he chattered on. She followed his expressive motions with well-timed nods and mhmms, a skill she’d no doubt honed through years of indulging kindergarten babbling. She met Spencer’s eyes every so often, only a slight eyebrow raise indicating her amusement. Her hair had been tied back, but soft pieces had come loose throughout the day, falling into her face and around her shoulders. Up close, he could see that the print of her collared a-line dress was hundreds of green frogs. On her feet were a pair of beat up, low top converse, and Spencer thought he could physically feel the crush branding the chambers of his heart. He was jolted out of his thoughts by Michael’s hand tugging on his pant leg, and he looked down to see him looking up expectantly.

“Sorry, what?” Spencer asked him.

“I said,” Michael repeated with a sigh, “can we look up the author and see if he has any other books?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Of course, buddy.”

“Jory John has lots of amazing books,” Ms. Y/L/N confirmed. “You’ll love the series he wrote with Pete Oswald.” She smiled at the pair of them before checking her watch. “I’ve gotta go pack up, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Michael.” She winked at Spencer, and he almost swallowed his tongue. “It was nice meeting you, uncle Spencer.” She waved again and then turned up the stairs to disappear into the building.

Spencer let out a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding, and then turned to Michael. “Well. All right, are you ready to go home?”

…

They were settled into the car and halfway home before Michael finally needed to take a breath. Spencer capitalized on the break in conversation.

“So, Ms. Y/L/N seems pretty cool,” Spencer hedged.

“Yeah, she’s the best,” Michael confirmed with a nod. “On Fridays she lets us put on the smocks and paint. And she has really good story voices. Oh, and she also has these really cool blocks that stick together—magnet blocks. And when I fell off the jungle gym and got a big scrape, she gave me a Paw Patrol bandaid! And she gives great hugs.”

“Good story voices, huh?” Spencer met Michael’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Better than mine?”

Michael tilted his head in deep thought. “Hmmmm. It’s pretty close. Your wizard voice is good, but she does accents.”

Spencer blew out a dramatic breath. “Guess I’m going to have to up my game.”

“You’re gonna have to practice a lot, because Ms. Y/L/N reads to us every day.” Michael raised his eyebrows in a challenge.

“Hey!” Spencer looked incredulous. “I read every day, too!”

“Yeah, but do you read with story voices every day?” Michael clarified.

Spencer sighed. “Well, I guess not.”

“It’s okay, uncle Spencer,” Michael soothed. “You can’t be the best at everything.”

“So they are better than mine?”

Michael pressed his lips together, and Spencer almost laughed at how much he looked like JJ. “... maybe.”

…

A trail of shoes and school supplies led to the couch, where Spencer and Michael sat shoulder to shoulder. They were on their second read of Giraffe Problems. Spencer took a long, dramatic breath before launching into Cyrus’ banana speech, and Michael burst into a fit of giggles. With his best theatrical voice, Spencer read down the page. “Yet, day after day, I’ve felt like such a fool as I stretched my neck toward those greedy branches, only to be limited by my own physical shortcomings.” He flipped the page and changed his tone. “You… want a banana from a tree?” He looked at Michael and said, quickly and in a low voice, “That’s what I said, yes.” Michael wheezed out another laugh.

Spencer finished the story, Michael mouthing the words along with him. When they reached the last page, Spencer softly closed the book and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “That’s a pretty great story.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed. “Ms. Y/L/N said she likes it because it reminds us that we gotta love ourselves and our bodies for how they are.”

Spencer nodded. “Absolutely. We’re all different, and that’s what makes us special.”

“Yeah. I just really like when he’s wearing all the scarves.” Michael burst into another fit of laughter, and Spencer couldn’t help but laugh with him.

The front door opened, and Will was smiling as he stepped over the threshold. “I could hear y’all laughing all the way down the sidewalk.”

“Daddy!” Michael jumped up from the couch, and Will bent to scoop him up, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Hey, kiddo. Sorry I couldn’t pick you up. It sure sounds like you and uncle Spencer had fun, though.” He shot Spencer a wide smile.

“We read Giraffe Problems. Can we read it again later?” Michael asked.

“Sure thing. We can read it before bedtime.” Will set him down, furrowing his brow. “Wait, Giraffe Problems? Is that a new one?”

Michael shook his head. “Ms. Y/L/N let me borrow it from the library. I have to give it back in two weeks.”

“Man, Michael, you really lucked out, huh?” Will posited. “Ms. Y/L/N is so good to you.”

“Jeez, everybody’s saying that today,” Michael sighed. “Yes, Ms. Y/L/N is amazing, we all know this.”

“All right, sass monster. I didn’t know uncle Spencer thought she was amazing, too.” Will grinned. “We gotta go pick up Henry in a few minutes. I’ll get you a snack, and you can pick up your things?” He gestured to the mess of shoes and school supplies in the foyer.

Spencer smiled sheepishly. “That’s probably my fault. We were just so excited to read the book.”

“Ah yeah, I know how he gets.” Will crossed to the kitchen. “A one track mind, that one. Thanks again for picking him up today.”

Spencer stood from the couch and followed, hands stuffed in his pockets. “It’s no problem at all! I can do it any time.”

“Well, I don’t want to bother y—”

“It’s not a bother!” Spencer schooled his voice back into a normal register at Will’s raised eyebrow. “It—It’s not a bother at all. I, um— I have a lot of free time when I’m on sabbatical. Especially since I’m only teaching one course this semester. Plus, I love seeing the boys.”

“I’ll remember that.” Will smiled. “So… Ms. Y/L/N’s amazing, huh?”

Spencer just knew that his cheeks were as red as the apple Will was cutting up. He tried to shrug nonchalantly. “Yeah, she was— she was really nice.”

“She’s not bad looking, either,” Will supplied. When Spencer’s mouth fell open, Will continued, “What? JJ thinks so, too. Don’t tell me you didn’t even look, because I know that’s a lie.”

Spencer sputtered, “I— well, I—”

“Daddy, can we get an ice-cream on the way home?” Michael interrupted, completely unfazed.

Will laughed. “Saved by the bell, uncle Spencer. Yeah, buddy, we can get ice-cream.”

…

“It’s not weird to look her up. I just want to know more about the person who’s educating my godson,” Spencer tried to reassure himself as he pulled up the school’s website. He scrolled to find the teacher pages, a little smile crossing his face when he saw Ms. Y/L/N’s picture— white ruffled shirt, red bow, and black hat. A perfect tribute to Mary Poppins.

He dropped his smile. “She barely said five sentences to you, and you didn’t say anything back.” His eyes wandered over the links on the side, landing on the About Me section. “But she did say she’d heard a lot about you, so it’s only fair that you get to know a little about her.” Against his better judgment, he clicked the page link. A photo of Ms. Y/L/N— grinning and holding a very distraught-looking black cat— popped up on the screen, and Spencer laughed aloud.

I grew up on a farm outside of Fayetteville, NC before moving to Boston to complete my undergraduate degree. I moved to DC to earn my Master’s in Early Childhood Education, and I have been teaching here for 8 years! I love working with young learners, because children grow so much in their foundational years. Watching a child have a lightbulb moment is one of my greatest joys. When I'm not in the classroom, I love to read, travel, play scrabble, and spend time with my cat Roald (pronounced Roo-all)!

Spencer scrolled through the pictures of Ms. Y/L/N and her students. There were pictures in their “smocks,” which Spencer discovered were really just old t-shirts. There was one of her in the middle of some very animated story telling, and another of a field trip to the zoo. In each one, the smiles beamed out through the computer screen in a digital portrait of unbridled joy, contagious even over the waves of the internet. Smiling to himself, he clicked on the tab labeled Teaching Philosophy.

I believe that every child is an extraordinary and essential piece of our classroom puzzle. In order to nurture the unique individuality of each of my students, I work hard to make our classroom a safe, positive, and supportive community where students are given the space to express themselves. Our classroom culture is also one of kindness and creativity, where each individual is valued and celebrated for who they are!

Spencer swallowed the unexpected lump in his throat as he thought back on his own school career. While his teachers had always appreciated his intelligence, he honestly couldn’t recall a moment where he had felt valued for just… being himself. The majority of his time in school had been spent unsuccessfully fending off bullies, completing other students’ homework, or being gawked at like some sort of alien. He was grateful that Michael would hopefully never go through anything like what he’d experienced; at least not while Ms. Y/L/N was around.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he leaned back in the desk chair to pull it out. He swiped it open to read the incoming text.

JJ: So......... you like Ms. Y/L/N, huh? 😉😉😉

Spencer: What?! Did Will tell you that? I didn’t say that.

JJ: Some things you don’t have to say out loud, Spence.

———

Tags: @spacedikut

[jovialjuggernaut-draws]

137 with your version of Riddlebat (i see them, they cute)

"Do you know how beautiful you are? It's truly distracting."

"Sorry about that," Bruce laughed, showing no signs of remorse. He ruffled his hair, shaking it out of the awkward flatness the cowl compressed it into and back to the gorgeous way it usually settled across his forehead. No plans to fix the problem at hand by putting the ugly mask back on to hide those distracting features, then. "What are you working on?"

Edward sighed. "Some snippets of an AI algorithm. Ideally, I can teach it to filter things for your investigations in a quicker, more hands-off way."

"Sounds challenging," Bruce commented, leaning over Edward to ostensibly check out his code, but the movement put his tits right by Edward's face. He had to be doing this on purpose.

Edward cleared his throat. "Unfortunately, it's mostly tedious. I'm about to throw in the towel and make one that will plot out blackouts in the shapes of bats across the city grid. You know, entertain myself."

As expected, Bruce made his disapproving little noise at that. "How about something more productive, instead?"

Edward perked up, spinning away from the screen. Batman challenges had the potential to be interesting. "What did you have in mind?"

"A trap for Croc. Wherever you want it, I can lure him there, but it needs to go off on time and keep him contained."

Edward deflated. "Waylon's not exactly hard to outwit. I could make an outsized box-on-a-stick and keep him trapped," he complained.

"Maybe think a little bigger than that." Bruce's teasing little smirk dropped into a look of concern. "What's wrong?"

Edward shook his head. "Nothing, just-" He shrugged. "I guess I just miss you."

Bruce smiled warmly. He leaned down, boxing Edward into the sleek black Bat-chair, pressing a lingering kiss to his anxiously waiting lips. "I'm sorry. I've been busy. Do you want to come along on missions again?"

"No, that's not-" Edward shook his head again, trying to align his thoughts. Bruce tried to pull back, but he held him close, a hand to either side of that sharp jaw. "I miss you. Us. The way we used to be. When your attention felt like a reward, rather than a given."

"I give you too much attention?" Bruce asked, looking rightly confused.

"No!" Edward growled, getting frustrated. "That's not it, either!"

"You're not making a lot of sense, love." Bruce stroked a hand through his hair. The grip Edward had on his face must be bruising by now, but he didn't shake off the hands. "Take a breath. What do you need?"

As instructed, Edward sucked in a deep breath, matching pace with the slow movement of Bruce's chest. "Just- Remind me why I'm staying. Please? I don't want to do something stupid."

"I can do that." Gently, Bruce scooped him up into his arms, laying kisses everywhere on his face he could reach, and carried him easily away from the giant computer and the abandoned code, up to their very large, very cozy bedroom. "As often as you need. As much as you need. I love you, and I never want you to forget that."

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

DC Universe Masterlist

Back to the main Masterlist

Batsis

Baby-batsis / Toddler-batsis stories are bold

Headcanons

Batsis being babysat by aunt Harley and aunt Pam

Being a ghost that ‘haunts’ the manor would include

The Batfam reacting to Batsis having the Meta-gene

Batsis!reader x Roy Harper

The Batfam reacting to Batsis dating Roy Harper…

Asian!Batsis

Lost, Found and Consequences (toddler!batsis)

Model!Batsis

ADHD!Batsis

Half!Cat!Batsis

Batsis x Supergirl

The next CEO 

Being the oldest sibling

Sneaky!Batsis

Jon Kent x batsis!reader

Healer!Batsis

Middle eastern!Batsis

Aftermath (Angst)

Starstruck Summary: Batsis enters her first year of high school and her brothers don’t like the idea of her being asked out 

OneShots

Confusion Summary: Batsis has her first kiss, which is followed by a lot of confusion

We have a problem (x Young Justice) Summary: After a mission takes an unexpected turn you’re welcomed by some strange consequences

You punch like a girl (Toddler!batsis) Summary: young!Batsis defends the girls in her school against a bully

It’s gonna be okay Summary: You (Batsis) have a bad feeling about a mission and when you get there you get confronted with your brothers‘ worst fears

Ukhti Summary: When both you and Damian are nowhere to be found on a rainy day, your other brothers conspire about what could’ve happened, but they’re in for a surprise.

Jelly Bean (toddler!Batsis) Summary: (Don’t wanna spoil)

Independence Summary: In which Batsis is very independent, but the family wants her back in the manor…Angst and Fluff ensue.

Changes Summary: Your family notices that you start to change. When you deny the changes they start to investigate… What they find doesn’t make them happy.

Moonflower Summary: It was a rather usual evening for you, a Gala, trying to avoid the mayor, getting kidnapped- what more could you want from your night?

Masquerade (Moonflower pt 2) Summary: When the Riddler keeps ghosting around in your mind you know that you have to do something about it, that you couldn’t keep on harbouring feelings for him, so you put on your mask and make your way to find a distraction, but sometimes the things we see when we wear masks are not the things we expect…

Magical/Misery/Massacre (Moonflower pt 3) Summary: You and Ed are at a point in your realtionship were you have to decide what your future will look like… Will it be happy, will it be sad… or will it be something else entirely… find out in this Chose your own ending story where you can decide which ending you and Edward get…

Pretty hair (Toddler!Batsis) Summary: A cute wakeup, a gala ahead and a rather hairy problem. Will Batdad be able to handle it?

A sweet life (baby!batsis) Summary: A little excerpt of a day of baby!batsis lifes and all the sweetness

Pretty Princess  Summay: You and Steph have a plan. That plan includes Damian, a dress and your phones...

Overworked Summay: Your on your way to be the next C.E.O. of Wayne Enterprises, but the road is filled with challenges and a lack of self-care that your family can’t help but worry about (based on this)

Specials

Happy Hallowayne Summary: Read Headcanons and small story-bits about the best Halloween party ever in Wayne manor and all the troubles and all the fluff that comes with it

Preferences

Teach me how to dance (Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Cass, Damian, Steph)

Pregnant!Batsis

Drabble

Copy or Individual Prompt: “I’m (Y/N) Fucking (Y/L/N)”|” Are you proud of me?”

Viral hit Summary: What happens when you accidentaly post a TikTok of you in your suit with Batman in the background?

You clean up nicely Summary: Bruce worries because you are late to a Gala, but when you arrive - in a suit instead of the usual dress- he couldn’t be prouder...

Stress and School are both six letter words Summary: School is a bitch and it’s stressing you out. Lucky for you there’s a family behind you that will always take care of you

Social Media Au

Batsis having a girls night out with her sisters

Being newly adopted into the Wayne family

Batkid!reader (gender-neutral)

Headcanons

DJ!Batkid

Batfam x reader

Headcanons

Mothering the Batfam would include…

The bat-boys in our universe…

Bataunt x Harley Quinn

OneShot

Club ‘Illusion’ Summay: With your hero work taking up most of your time you decide to find an outlet - that outlet turns out to be your own soon to be opened club. On the V.I.P. list for that evening? Two of the most important groups of people in your life. The only problem: they have yet to meet each other, not to mention the little fact that you’ve been keeping not just the club a secret...

Preferences

New Year’s Eve with the Bat Kids… ( Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

Song Pranks on the Batkids… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

You’ve got to be kitten me… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pets, Cuddles and surprised brothers (Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim)

Affection comes in a lot of forms… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Batboys x Cosplayer!reader (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Dying in their arms… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pixie hair cut (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Pregnant s/o (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian)

Social Media Au

Song Pranks on the Batkids… (Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Cass, Harper, Babs & Duke)

Batparents

Headcanons

Being Batmom and marring Bruce would include… (part 1)

Being Batmom and pregnant would include…(part 2)

Batmom teaching Dick how to cook…

OneShots

The bedroom down the hall (Angst warning) Summary: After Jason’s death you know it’s time to pack up the things in his room, but will you be able to cope with all the memories and the fact that your son is really dead? (Inspired by “In the bedroom down the hall” from ‘Dear Evan Hansen’)

Magic Mom (finished): -Dick’s arrival (1/5) -Jason’s arrival (2/5) -Jason’s death (3/5) -Tim’s arrival (4/5) -Damian’s arrival (5/5) Summary: Being Batman’s wife was one thing, being a strong magician a whole other thing, now, what happens if you combine those two and add motherhood? Welcome to the life of the Batfam’s very own Magic Mom…

Momma is a badass? Summary: Your Children don’t know about a big part of your past, but when the situation calls for it, they find out, one way or another

Drabble

Content Summary: When you come home, you’re not as happy as Bruce expected. Fluff ensues (but it’s really short)

Dick Grayson

Headcanons

Being Dick Graysons daughter would include

Batmom teaching Dick how to cook…

Dick Grayson x Unkillable!reader

OneShots

Birds ‘n Bees Summary: Dick gets hurt on a mission

Drabble

Misunderstanding upon Misunderstanding Prompt: “And I’m dead”|”Another bad date?”

Social Media Au

Dick’s S/O coming back from a weekend trip with Damian

Jason Todd

Headcanons:

Jason Todd x Stark!reader

Have you met my family? Summary: After you start dating Jason you want to meet his family, but maybe you’re closer to them than you think

OneShots

Private Tutoring Summary: Jason needs some private tutoring and because of Damian, You (who can’t stand Jason) have the job

Do Angels giggle? Summary: A rumour of an angel kidnapping criminals and leading them to a path of justice and Jason is on the suspect’s track. He hasn’t expected to be caught and he surely hasn’t expected what met him there…

Jaybird Summary: One day you meet a boy in dirty clothes and give him food, he becomes your best friend and then he leaves and dies. In his name you start helping others like him. Then you meet a man in a Red Hood.

Drabble

Rise and Shine Summary: You wake Jason up in one of the prettiest ways…

Luckiest thing Summary: On the fourth of July you have a little surprise for your husbands family

Conventional Prompt: “Nothing about us is conventional”|“You scared the shit out of me!”|“I don’t think I could love you any more than I already do.”

Daddy dearest Summary: You’re spending an afternoon with Dick when you’re boyfriend Jason calls you and there is a little misconception...

Pops Summary: When a mysterious Woman arrives at the manor looking for our favorite Butler Jason could’ve sworn it’s love at first sight...

Social Media Au

Imagine being pregnant with Jason’s child and the other bat kids are a bit shocked since you’re only 19

Tim Drake

Drabble

Perfect Moment, frozen in time Summary: Tim is just perfect in your eyes…

Shoulder Piegon Prompt: “That looks like it hurts…”|” You always look beautiful.”

Baby, it’s cold outside Prompt: “You’re freezing, Jesus” | “Sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?”

Social media au

Farmlove Summary:  When Y/N Kent goes back to Smallville to spend some time on her grandparents’ farm alongside her brothers and her aunt, she expects a calm, peaceful time. She gets something else though…

Damian Wayne

Headcanons

Being blind and Damian’s S/O… (Part 1)

Being blind and Damian’s S/O… (Part 2)

Kind and Lovesick… (Slightly Yandere!Damian🔪)

They’ll pay…

Destructive Love (Yandere!Damian🔪)

“I’ll take care of you’ (Yandere!Damian 🔪)

OneShots

Something real Summary: Damian hates the people who attend his father’s Galas and he doesn’t think there’s one real person there, only for him to be surprised…

Time flies by when you’re in love Summary: A timeline of your time with Damian and how you became a couple…

A thing of honour Summary: Keeping your alter ego a secret from Damian was all fun and games, especially since he seemed to hate your superhero persona while loving your “normal” you, but what happens when he finds out about the whole thing in the worst way possible…

All that counts Summary: It was supposed to be a simple go-in-get-out mission, but it quickly got out of hand, Damian finding himself unable to do anything. Now unsure of if you were even alive, his heart is ripping apart. Will you come back to him?

The one that got away Summary: With a mysterious past on your pack you make your way to Wayne manor to find Damian Wayne, only to be faced with our favorite butler and a nice cup of tea…

Smiler Summary: Damian Wayne doesn’t smile. Ever. So when he suddenly starts to do so after reading text messages and receiving calls from an outsider his siblings get suspicious. Shenanigans ensue.

Rescued (Yandere!Damian🔪) Summary: Everything was finally perfect for Damian. His perfect little Darling was so well behaved and finally pregnant like he had always wanted, but now someone unexpected turns up at his door. Someonw who could ruin everything he had worked for...

Reality Check Summary: It was a normal day for you when the sidewalk literally opens up and swallows you whole only to spit you back out into a world that you thought only existed in comics before. There you meet a certain Vigilante and things get more complicated very, very quickly...

The Future Is Now Summary: Your best friend Damian is gone on a mission with the Titans and while you constantly worry, you just want him to come back home save. When your welcomed home after patrol by the team with a clear lack of Damian - instead a man who looks eerily familiar - you were not prepared for your world to be rocked the way it would be...

Drabbles

A what? (Crack) Summary: You have a mission and you’ll even use the dirtiest of tricks to get what you want

Traning Session Prompt: “Your hands are so small!”

Broken Leg and shattered Ego Prompt: “You’re really special to me.”|“No more stupid stunts, [please?]”|“You scared the shit out of me!”

Be with me  Prompt:  "You're gonna get your heart broken"|"I know but I'm at the point where I just want to be loved romantically even if it's fake lol"

What friends are for... Summary: You and your best friend Damian have a deal: No matter how much you fight you’ll never stay angry at each other. The only thing is his family doesn’t know about that deal...

People are gay dude (male!reader) Summary: Damian’s brothers want to find out who Damian is dating only to be surprised

Social Media Au

A mystery to unveil (Masterlist) Summary: After you upload a picture to make sure that every girl in Gotham knows that Damian is yours, it’s his family’s personal mission to find out who that newly found Mystery Girl is…

Welcome to the Gotham Academy Bats (Masterlist)  Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is the head-cheerleader of the Gotham Academy Bats, with her boyfriend Jackson (the captain of the football team) on one side and the mysterious Damian Wayne, who she keeps on getting closer to, on the other. What will happen when things get complicated?

Roy Harper

Headcanons

Batsis!reader x Roy Harper

The Batfam reacting to Batsis dating Roy Harper…

Kara Denvers

Headcanons

Batsis x Supergirl

Jon Kent

OneShots

He doesn’t like you…Or does he? Summary: Jonathan Kent is nice to everyone. But that makes you unable to figure out if he actually liked you or just acted like it. Something has to be done…

Drabble

Confession Prompt: “I’m fucking terrified and I don’t know what to do or how to stop feeling that way, okay? I’m scared…”|“I need you…”

Clark Kent

Injustice Yandere!Superman x reader

Oliver Queen

Headcanons

Dating green Arrow would include…

Young Justice

OneShots

We have a problem (x Young Justice) Summary: After a mission takes an unexpected turn you’re welcomed by some strange consequences

Riddler

OneShots

Moonflower Summary: It was a rather usual evening for you, a Gala, trying to avoid the mayor, getting kidnapped- what more could you want from your night?

Masquerade (Moonflower pt 2) Summary: When the Riddler keeps ghosting around in your mind you know that you have to do something about it, that you couldn’t keep on harbouring feelings for him, so you put on your mask and make your way to find a distraction, but sometimes the things we see when we wear masks are not the things we expect…

Magical/Misery/Massacre (Moonflower pt 3) Summary: You and Ed are at a point in your realtionship were you have to decide what your future will look like… Will it be happy, will it be sad… or will it be something else entirely… find out in this Chose your own ending story where you can decide which ending you and Edward get…

Harley Quinn

Headcanons

Bataunt x Harley Quinn

Incorrect Quotes

[downstarr]

This is an offshoot story of my novel-length fic, The Accidental Seduction of Edward Teach by Stede Bonnet, Gentleman Pirate. That fic is canon divergent and splits off around the end of episode 8 and assumes that Calico Jack and Izzy never betrayed the crew, so the slow burn of Ed and Stede's relationship continued.

This fic is sort of a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern moment that takes place around chapter 30, after Izzy has hooked up once with a man named Declan Finch. Declan was Stede's stable hand on Barbados and he followed Stede back to the Revenge after he went to tie up his old life. Declan holds a candle for Stede, but by this point has accepted he's with Ed.

I'm not sure how many people are interested in this side story, but it wouldn't leave my head. And since the other story is very strictly Ed's POV, this was the only way to tell it.

Smut implied, but not explicit.

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“Izzy. Izzy, psst…hey…”

Izzy Hands would rather pretend he hadn’t heard his boss, the man who went by Blackbeard but wanted everyone to call him Ed. Back in the day, only a select few got to call him anything other than Blackbeard, and even then, it was always Edward .

But not so since Stede fucking Bonnet.

“Yes, sir?” said Izzy as he turned to see Ed sticking his head out of the door to the captain’s quarters. His expression was bright and happy. His once full and imposing beard had been shorn down to barely an inch long. Ed had returned from an enforced island getaway with Stede with it shorn. The crew had conspired to drop the co-captains there - behind Izzy’s back - so that they’d finally admit their feelings for one another.

“Can you please bring us some food? Stede’s kind of…well, naked.” Ed giggled like a child and bit his lower lip.

Izzy grunted. “Yes sir,” He said tightly. He hated the short beard, and he missed his own. Although the stubble was slowly growing back, it would take time for Izzy’s to return to its former glory. The shave was punishment for getting in the way of Ed and Stede by way of a drunken kiss that Stede witnessed. That incident set back their blossoming relationship, and it seemed Ed hadn’t quite forgiven him for that.

Izzy stalked along the deck, searching the mostly-loafing crew for signs of Roach. Instead he found Lucius. “Spriggs!” He barked.

Lucius tensed and looked up from where he was half-heartedly taking inventory of a barrel. “Yes, fuck, what ? I’m right here. You don’t have to yell.” He folded a square of fabric and then leaned on the barrel and fixed him with a saucy look.

Izzy gritted his teeth and growled a little under his breath. “The captain wants food. Find Roach and have him send up two plates.”

“The ship isn’t that bloody big! Why don’t you ask him directly?”

“I am asking…” Izzy stepped forward, “...you. No, I’m not asking. I’m the bloody first mate and I’m ordering you. So step fucking lively.”

Lucius sighed and stomped his foot. “Fine. You know, I don’t like smooth Izzy. At least I expected attitude from beard-y Izzy.”

Smooth Izzy.

It was all Izzy could do to not manhandle the scribe or threaten to toss him overboard. That was the kind of nickname that had a tendency to stick. But he knew if he made a scene, it definitely would.

Rather than challenge Lucius, he stalked off across the deck.

—-

Some hours later, when Izzy was settled into his threadbare cabin, there was a knock on the door.

“What?”

“It’s me,” came a voice from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?” a pause, “...I nicked some wine from the stores. Also I think I forgot my coat in there last time.”

Izzy scowled at the door. “Fuck off,” he muttered. But then, he noticed there was indeed a jacket that didn’t belong to him hanging on the back of the door.

“Okay,” said the voice, which was slightly nasal and had the same accent as the captains. “Can I have my jacket at least? It’s getting kind of cold out here.”

With a grunt, Izzy got off the bed and opened the door. He had to crane his neck upward to properly look at Declan Finch, who was an inch or so taller than Edward - who already towered above his uncommonly short first mate.

Izzy picked up the jacket and handed it to him. “Now, fuck off.”

But Declan kept standing there. “But…I brought wine.”

Izzy stalked across the room. “Good for you. You’ll be lucky if Roach doesn’t make you peel sixty pounds of potatoes for stealing from the stores. That man keeps a careful inventory of our food supplies.”

Declan looked down at the bottle in his hand. “Are you angry? About the rash? You should be fine. The doctor said that if the cream made it go away, it was just a heat thing and nothing contagious. And it’s nearly gone.”

Some nights ago, when Izzy was drunk, he and the new crewmember had hooked up. It was stupid and a bad choice, but he was frustrated by Edward’s punishment and his growing closeness with Bonnet. Declan, who was at one time Bonnet’s stable boy, had returned with him after the man had gone to finally and properly settle things with the wife and children he had left behind.

Not long after that, Declan had announced to the entire crew that he had some kind of rash. It turned out the big man had slept with several of the crew aside from Izzy himself.

“You shut your fucking mouth about that,” said Izzy as he got up in Declan’s face. He closed the door not because he wanted to be alone with him, but because he didn’t want them to be overhead. “Remember what I told you?” he rasped.

“Ah, yip. If I tell anyone, you’ll gouge my eye out. You were very…uh…descriptive about how exactly that would go down. You’ve got a way with words, so it’s not the sort of thing you forget.” Declan quirked a little grin that revealed a prominent gap between his front teeth. Those teeth had left a deep impression on Izzy’s neck that still hadn’t entirely healed.

Izzy unconsciously tugged at his cravat and scratched the still-healing spot on his neck. “And you nearly did, when you were confessing to fucking half the bloody crew,” he snarled and paced away, though he couldn’t get very far away, as small as the room was.

Declan grinned a little and tilted his chin up. “Are you jealous?”

“Jealous?” Izzy snorted, “Of a stable boy? Bonnet’s sloppy seconds? A man who can’t sail and is only here out of charity?”

The truth was, Izzy found the other man very attractive. He and Ed didn’t look alike, per se, but they were of a type. Declan was tall, broad-shouldered and fit in a way that sailors often weren’t. There was bulk and heft to him, and he moved around the deck with a swagger in his step. Although he could wreck Izzy physically without breaking a sweat, he never challenged him on-deck. He was quick to follow orders, respectful and, Izzy grudgingly had to admit, a hard worker.

Declan might have been there because of unreturned feelings for Stede, but Izzy had to admit that he was suited to a life at sea.

“Well, that’s not fair,” said Declan a bit petulantly. “I’ve been learning and getting better. I can do rope stuff now.”

Izzy scoffed, then reached out to take the bottle of red wine. He uncorked it and took a swig.

He knew he should kick Declan out, but couldn’t quite bring himself to. His back was to the other man as he dug through a small chest of drawers out of a desire to look busy than to search for anything in particular.

He heard footsteps and felt Declan behind him, close enough that his body threw off heat. “I may have gone a little wild just because I’ve never…well, I’ve never had my pick of people to fuck before. Mostly I just had to take what I could get, and worry about my throat getting slit if I picked the wrong partner. I guess I just got a little excited to be on a ship full of people who weren’t going to shank me for liking dick.”

Izzy grunted. He could understand that. He had spent his entire life among pirates, privateers and brigands, but he’d made port in enough colonies that he knew the attitude there. He’d also sailed with many men who had escaped to a life at sea for the exact same reason Declan had. “You should save that shit for shore. We have enough drama with our captains. We don’t need more from you.”

“You don’t call them that often, I’ve noticed,” said Declan. He hooked his arm around Izzy’s side to snag the bottle of wine to swig from himself.

“What?”

“Captains. You mostly just refer to Ed.”

“I think we all know which of them is really in charge.”

“Don’t underestimate Stede. There’s a lot more to him than you’d think.” Declan tapped him on the shoulder with the wine bottle.

Izzy snatched the bottle back and turned, to find the other man very close, towering over him. He had a short beard that was black and threaded through with gray, long sideburns and collar-length full, dark hair that was only really gray at the temples. His eyes were where he most closely resembled Ed. They were the same deep brown with dark lashes, though Declan’s were set under a heavy brow.

He was used to being towered over by other men, but Declan’s proximity and the broad set of his shoulders made Izzy feel smaller than usual.

And although he’d struggle to admit it, he liked that feeling. At least…in private. Izzy tried to back away, but found himself backing against his chest of drawers.

Declan closed the gap and set the wine down. “If you ask…” he said as hands reached out to brace on Izzy’s hips, “...I won’t fuck any of the other crew. Just you.”

The small dog syndrome that dominated Izzy’s personality wanted to snarl and spit and shove the man’s hands off him. He wanted to order him out under pain of some humiliating manual labor. But all he could do was sort of sneer up at the other man and grip the wrists of the hands braced against his hips. “And why would I want that?” he asked in a low tone.  

Declan lifted a calloused finger to rasp along the short stubble along Izzy’s jaw. Then, he leaned in for a kiss.

“ Stop ,” Izzy rasped and pulled away as much as he could. “What did I say last time?”

“No kissing,” said Declan. He kept his hand on Izzy’s jaw and hovered close. “But that’s stupid. Kissing’s awesome. Here let me show you…”

Before Izzy could protest, snarl, or pull away, he felt Declan’s mouth hot on his. As much as he wanted to protest, he found himself yielding and slowly, kissing back. He felt a prickle down his spine and up over his scalp.

He didn’t want this. It felt too personal. All Izzy had wanted from sex was a release in pressure. He got it from Edward for a long time, then when his captain started spurning his advances, random strangers in port - sometimes at a brothel.

But Declan kissed him with something dangerously like affection. And Izzy knew the man was a dizzy romantic. Why else would he have chased Stede Bonnet from Barbados like a giant lovesick puppy?

And some part of Izzy was absolutely incensed that a man in love with Bonnet was attracted to him.

Some deeper part of him hoped that meant that one day, Edward might return to himself - return to the way they were together. If Declan could be attracted to both Bonnet and himself, maybe there was hope.

Izzy pulled back and turned his face away. “If you’re going to stay, just fucking get on with it.”

“You sure do curse a lot,” Declan mused, but then he slid his hands from Izzy’s hips to grab handfuls of his ass and pull their hips together.

“So I’ve been told,” rumbled Izzy. “Now, grab my dick or fuck off.”

“Yes sir,” said Declan. And he obliged.

—-

Declan may have been a romantic, but he also instinctively understood that Izzy didn’t want to make gentle love.

When it was over, Izzy had a new collection of bruises and bite marks, and he’d most certainly have trouble sitting comfortably for at least a few days.

Despite the rough nature of the sex, there was surprising care there as well. Declan had a talent for pushing things just far enough to please Izzy, but not so far that it crossed a line or became dangerous. And when he wasn’t sure, he asked .

Which was a shockingly new thing that Izzy didn’t quite know how to process.

Izzy’s bed was narrow and just barely fit the two men. He was lying little-spoon on the outside. Declan was behind him, arm and leg thrown over him due to the necessity of space. The man was fast asleep and snoring gently.

Izzy laid there in the darkness, feeling the big man’s bulk pressed along his back, feeling the pleasant aches and stings of rough sex, smelling the former stable boy’s soft musk, and feeling hot breath on the back of his neck.

And he found himself liking the sensation very much.

 “Fuck,” he muttered to himself. And then he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.