#edit: stupid tumblr got the order of the tags wrong..
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linabirb · 10 months ago
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also hi while i was talking about my ocd and anxiety during today's therapy session my therapist literally googled the wikipedia definitions of the things my brain called me to prove that it's wrong and that those thoughts don't matter
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aceofwhump · 2 years ago
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Question is the legacy editor any good? I've never used it because I'm paranoid about it messing my posts up lmao but I'm curious
The short answer is yes. Legacy editor, the older way tumblr did posting, is in my opinion, the superior editor. I love the legacy editor. A lot. It is definitely superior and I'm sad staff has decided to slowly get rid of it.
However! With that said I've been pretty much exclusively using the beta post editor for the last like year when staff announced that they'd be eliminating the legacy editor eventually so I thought it'd be a good idea to get used to the beta editor. Which I suppose I did. I've gotten used to it and don't use legacy much at all anymore. I also wanted to use it because I got really tired of not being able to edit in mobile the posts I made on web using the legacy editor. With the beta editor you can edit across platforms which is soooo nice. (although it appears that in one of the apps many updates I can now edit a gifset I made today via legacy editor but not the posts I've made in the past using the legacy editor so who knows what's going with that).
But there's a lot of annoying things about the new beta editor that make it inferior to the legacy editor and I'm praying that staff will improve it. For starters, and probably my biggest complaint, is how awful it is to upload and rearrange images. It's so much easier in legacy editor to move images around. In beta the page moves when you start to move the image and it drives me CRAZY!!! I always end up putting the image in the wrong place because the page won't stop moving! Legacy is wonderful to arrange images. I do think the upload is slightly better in beta purely because it uploads multiple images in the order I select them where the legacy just puts them in whatever order it wants to and I have to remember what order I wanted my gifs in.
Legacy is also better because it actually differentiates between an image post and a text post. With the beta editor everything is technically a test post. So my gifsets are not considered an "image post". Some people have noted that the beta, since it's not an image post, it resizes the images a little and sometimes decreases the quality of the gif by doing that. I haven't really noticed that myself with my own gifs but doesn't mean it isnt happening.
The legacy editor also allows me to upload my gifs without stupid errors for no reason. Lately any time I upload more than 6 gifs at once I get an error message and have to upload them one by one. Its not because of size because they're always under 7mbs so I don't know why I can't upload them all at once. I hate it actually. And sometimes my gif will be under 10mbs (like 9.7mbs) and it'll tell me that the gif is too big. Excuse me tumblr but 9.7 is smaller than 10! I never had this problem in legacy.
The legacy editor is also better when it comes to using html, inserting links as text and not the stupid thing beta does where you paste the link and it becomes that stupid post preview thing that I hate, and oh my god is it awful for text blocks! When it first came out you couldnt select multiple texts blocks at all. You can now but it isn't the easiest. And it like expands when you do and makes it weird. Idk it's hard to describe. In legacy you can just...select all the text with no problems. Text blocks are treated like individual sections in the beta and make editing a major pain in the ass.
I also don't like thst apparently new xkit won't work in beta and you have to use xkit rewritten because fuck I don't want to learn how to use that one when I've been using new xkit for years but I guess I'm gonna have to now. I haven't been having any problems with xkit yet but who knows....
So yeah I think overall legacy is better. Beta Post Editor has some good things (I like the increased image upload limit, the editing tags is good) about it but there's so many problems. Unfortunately we're stuck with it so I've been sticking to using it exclusively to make the transition easier on myself. I do suggest becoming used to how it works and to just continue to provide feedback to staff about features we dislike or bugs we come across. Hopefully they'll listen and improve it.
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alrightberries · 4 years ago
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dante’s inferno
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request: wassup homie could you maybe write a college au fic where levi and reader are rommies, then one day reader brings home an adopted cat without levi's prior knowledge? You could decide what happens next lol. Tysm 🥺
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❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader
❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack ❈ word count: 4k
❈ summary: college au. in which you bring a stray cat to your dorm and your neat freak roommate won’t let you keep it.
alternatively: a compilation of college shenanigans where you and levi are best friends who are bad with feelings (ft. an unamused cat named dante)
❈ trigger warnings: profanity. mentions of alcohol and smoking. implied smut.
a/n: this was supposed to be loosely based on the nine circles of hell according to inferno by dante alighieri— hence the title— but i did my research wrong so now it’s loosely based on the seven terraces of purgatory according to divine comedy. i’m keeping the title tho.
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Inspired by this art by @ryuichirou on tumblr.
Permission to repost art was granted by the artist. Do not repost/edit the art without explicit permission from the artist.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
i. first terrace: pride
“We’re not keeping it.”
“But why?”
“We’re not keeping it.”
“But why.”
Levi’s tongue clicks in annoyance. His eyes glance next you where the offending creature lay on your bed; tail curling, paws kneading at his your favorite fleece blanket. Quite frankly he’s a little offended when the little shit has the audacity to glare at him back.
He’ll never admit it, but his ego’s a bit bruised because the cat’s glare was slightly better than his.
“I said no,” he firmly replies, looking back to you. “It’s bad enough I have to share a room with an anarchist who has no respect for boundaries—“
“One time, I forgot to use a coaster that one time!”
“—and now you expect me to share a room with a dirty fur ball who does nothing but eat, shit, and sleep?”
“He’s a cat, Levi.” You murmur, scooping the cat into your arms. “And he has a name,” you give a nervous smile when you see your rommate grit his teeth. He feels a headache coming.
“You named it?”
“Dante is not an ‘it’.”
Levi makes a move to step closer but immediately stops when the ‘Dante’ hisses at him.
“Aw, he likes you.” You coo.
“Clearly,” he replies unenthusiastically. “Listen,” he sighs. “I respect your cat’s pronouns but that doesn’t mean he’s allowed to stay. Or do I need to remind you of the mac and cheese incident?”
Okay, maybe he was on to something. If you got caught with a pet in the dorms you’d breach your third and final warning, and you’d be forced to dorm off-campus. The fact that you were still here after the mac and cheese incident was solely because Levi pulled some strings (aka asked Erwin, golden boy of the campus who owed him a favor, to pull some strings).
But you couldn’t just let Dante go. There was something about him that felt so familiar; something about his black fur, thin silver eyes, unamused snarl, and overall grumpy demeanor. Especially endearing was the way he’d grumble and pretend to be annoyed whenever you tried to cuddle him but would complain if you stopped.
You just couldn’t figure out who or what he reminded you of.
Maybe you would’ve figured it out too if you weren’t so distracted with watching Levi and Dante stare at each other. Your eyes dart back and forth between the grouchy cat sitting on your bed and your grouchy roommate sitting on his desk. Both were slightly crouched over with their heads tilted up in a show of dominance; they were engaged in what seemed to be a glaring contest, gunmetal irises unamused and mouths taut in a snarl as they protected their territory.
You sigh. You really, for the life of you, couldn’t figure out why Dante felt so familiar.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
ii. second terrace: envy
Levi is not jealous. He’s not.
At least that’s what he tells himself as he sulks alone on his bed. His arms are crossed and his lips are in a pout, eyebrows knitted in distaste, occasionally glancing to your side of the room where you sat up on your bed. He’s sure whatever movie you chose to watch together is interesting and all, but right now all he could pay attention to was that stupid cat. Sitting on your stupid lap. Getting its fur stroked by your stupid hand. Getting all the love and affection his stupid self should be receiving.
It was him you should be cuddling, not Dante. Saturday nights were reserved for him and you, not you and a cat while he happened to be in the room. He’s been trying to make a move on you since high school and he can’t fucking believe he’s losing your attention to a cat. Sure, he’s always been too chicken to make a move and had to suffer seeing you get together with assholes— as per your type during your emo high school days— but this was a new low. He can’t wrap his head around the concept that he’s losing his longterm crush to a motherfucking cat.
When you coo at how adorable the fleabag was for what felt like the 50th time that night, Levi decides he’s had enough of the cuddle-hogging piece of shit.
Wordlessly, he crosses to your side of the room and lifts the cat from its perch, ignoring your protests as he sets it down on the floor and tells it to ‘scram, you little fuck.’ He uses a hand to dust your lap free of any microscopic cat particles Dante probably left behind before lying down his head down once he was satisfied. He grabs your hand to put it on his hair.
“Stroke.” He orders, eyes closing.
“What? No! You pushed off Dante.”
“He was in my spot.”
“You couldn’t have given up your lap pillow for one night?”
“One night?” He scoffs and turns to look at you. “You’ve been abandoning me for two weeks. That disgusting, tic-infested, rabies-carrying slob has no business sitting on your lap.”
“He’s not disgusting, you gave him a shower before you agreed to let me keep him. And I took him the vet to make sure he had all his shots. He’s clean, Levi.”
“Tch, good. Now throw him out and let him find someone else to freeload from.”
“Okay, what’s going on?” You guffaw. “You’ve been grumpier than usual. And why’re you being such an ass to Dante? He’s just a cat.”
“Don’t think he’s special in some way. I’m an ass to everyone.”
“Then why does it feel like you’re always extra mean to him?”
He doesn’t reply. His lips are downturned into a frown when he looks away with a click of his tongue, and you realize with a sigh you won’t be getting an answer from your cryptic roommate soon. Your fingers start mindlessly stroking his undercut when you get lost in your thoughts— a habit you developed through years of Levi using your lap as a pillow. He always complained the first few times you did it but you knew it calmed both him and you, and that it put both your minds at ease. Moreso Levi right now, apparently.
You’re keenly aware of how he seems to curl up into you the more you keep going. You watch as his shoulders slump down when you stroke the side of his face, and his eyebrows relax slightly. From your angle, you could even see the way his eyes close in content. Maybe even a tiny smile if you were being delusional.
Your lip twitches upward.
“Oh my god, Levi, are you jealous of a cat?”
“Shut up and play with my hair.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
iii. third terrace: wrath
“You owe me a new cravat.”
You blink up at your roommate. “What?”
“You owe me a new cravat.” He repeats. He pulls from his pocket a white piece of fabric— barely recognizable— torn into shreds, releases it mid-air. It gently lands on your open palm.
“Wait, did Dante do this?” You ask, eyeing the slik in your hands.
“Unless you went feral in the middle of the fucking night and decided to cut up my clothes, yes.”
“Oh my god, Levi, I’m so sorry. I swear Dante will never—“
“You actually owe me three cravats,” he interjects. “The first two I overlooked since they weren’t that expensive but I draw the line here.” His lips are downturned into a frown, eyes poorly concealing his clear distaste. “This one’s my favorite and it was made from silk.”
You eye the fabric in your hands once more before nodding in understanding, setting down the once beautiful cravat before taking out your wallet. It was only fair that you paid him back; he was being more than generous with letting your cat stay and keeping it a secret, and now you wonder how many bad things Dante’s done that Levi’s overlooked or simply never brought up with you.
“Sure, I’m really sorry. How much do I owe you?”
Levi doesn’t say anything. Instead he pulls out his phone and types something on what you could only assume was google, most likely looking for the same brand of the cravat your cat had just torn into shreds. You weren’t entirely sure how much those could cost, but surely you could afford—
“What the fuck!” You screech, eyeing the page with very, very hefty price tags listed. Holy fucking hell where did he even get the money to buy something so expensive. Gulping, you nervously look up at your unimpressed roommate. You already knew he was taking it easy on you; his aura was the only thing intimidating, at least he wasn’t giving you the murder eyes. And even though he was a man of his word, you were thankful he hasn’t reported Dante.
Still, it didn’t change the fact that Levi looked pissed beyond belief.
“Uhm... can I pay you with a check that’ll definitely bounce?”
“You will pay me in cash.”
“Fuck, fine!”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
iv. fourth terrace: sloth
Levi silently works on his desk. His laptop’s open in fromt of him, numerous notes from classes and books from the library surrounding him. The gentle sounds of clicking and clacking echoe throughout the room as fingers typed at the keyboard, eyes concentrated and lips pulled taught as he focuses on his task. He’s on a roll. He’s almost done with this part of his research, nothing could snap him out of this, he just needs to—
“Levi, when do you think Dante will come back to me?”
He stops typing and grits his teeth.
This is how it’s been the entire night. Ten minutes of peace before you ask him some stupid questions that could’ve been answered with common sense.
“Fuck if I care.”
“Do you think it was something I did?”
He resumes typing. “Yes.”
“Do you think he’ll come back?”
“No.”
“Even after all we’ve been through?”
“Still no.”
“I miss him,” you sigh. “I miss him so much.”
“Then you shouldn’t have left the door open.”
It’s been a week since Dante escaped the dorm and Levi doesn’t understand why you’re still so depressed about it. I mean, you only lost a cat that you loved and treasured and treated like family. Surely a week of moping around in your pajamas and eating nothing but chips and soda was catharsis enough.
He hears you shift in your burrito blanket, presumably to turn away from him so you can sulk into the wall next to your bed. Good. Now he can get back to working on—
“Levi do you think Dante-“
“Enough.” He grits, slamming his laptop shut.
“Where’re you going?” You ask, eyeing the way he hurriedly stuffs papers and books into his bag along with his laptop.
“Out.” He replies, grabbing his keys and his coat. “I can’t stand this shit anymore.”
Your head is burried in your blankets when he slams the door shut and all you could do was slump down because great. You lost Dante, and now you’ve royally pissed off Levi.
Great. Just fucking great.
Unlike your cat, however, your roommate comes back hours later, just before curfew. He doesn’t bother with a hello— he never does— and neither do you, opting to stay hidden underneath the sheets. Though suddenly, there’s a dip in the mattress followed by a pur next to your head.
Could it be?
“Dante?” You murmur, lifting your head from underneath your cocoon of fabric. Small black paws and silver eyes meet your gaze. “Dante!” Immediately sitting up, you pulled him to your lap, scratching his little head and cooing about how much you missed him as he purred and curled into to you.
Levi would never say it, but he missed seeing you smile at the little fleabag.
You turn to look at your roommate. “How’d you find him?”
“Asked around the campus. He wandered into another dorm building and probably thought it was ours.”
“Well yeah but... I thought you hated him?”
“I do.” He replies instantly.
“Then why’d you find him?”
“I hate him, not you.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
v. fifth terrace: avarice
“I fucking hate both of you,” Levi grumbles, staring at the dorm.
Towers of boxes lined his supposed to be clean dorm room. He had a hard time prying the door open since it was blocked, and he wasn’t even sure how the boxes weren’t blocking out the light from how high they were piled. Dante’s sat on a stack of box directly next to the door, purring and flicking his tail around. Levi squints his eyes and glares at the little shit.
“You especially.”
“Mrow?”
Levi’s day had been, with no irony or sarcasm at all, amazing. He got a good grade on his research paper; the guy in front of him at the cafe accidentally ordered an extra serving of (coincidentally, Levi’s favorite) tea and gave it to him for free; and he got full marks for the presentation he’s been worrying about for weeks. His class even got dismissed early so he had an extra hour for lunch. He knew you didn’t have classes, so in honor of his great day he thought he’d do something nice and take you out for lunch. His treat, of course.
But any trace of his good mood vanished when he went back to the dorms and got greeted to a room that looked like it came from an episode of Hoarders.
This is what he gets for trying to be nice.
“Levi! Is that you?” You called out.
“What the fuck happened?”
You laugh sheepishly— at least Levi thinks you do. He couldn’t see you beyond the hundred boxes that took up your shared room. He hears some rustling and the sound of things being moved around before finally your head pops out from behind a wall of brown, smiling at him apologetically before walking towards him (and tripping a few times).
“Remember when I said I’d order some toys for Dante as a surprise?”
Levi’s eye twitches. “Don’t tell me—”
“I accidentally ordered 10,000 instead of 10. Online shopping struggles, am I right?” You nervously chuckle at his pissed off face. Levi was not in the mood.
Your smile widens as you make twinkly gestures with your hands. “So uh... surprise?”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
vi. sixth terrace: gluttony
The clinic is still when you first entered.
The harsh smell of alcohol and sterile metal makes your nose grimace, and the coldness of the thermostat brings goosebumps to your arms. Behind the wall, somewhete in the waiting room, cats are hissing, dogs are barking, and you could even hear the sound of birds angrily chirping and rattling their cages.
Dante cowers in fear on the silver table, and your heart aches. His ears are down and his fur’s standing on its ends, but you couldn’t comfort him. Not right now, at least. The veterinarian still needed to do a few more checks.
You gulp, “how’s... how’s Dante looking, doc?”
“Not good,” she murmurs. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and she takes a deep sigh as she eyes the information on the chart. “It’ll take months before he can walk properly again, possibly more if we don’t do anything about it soon.”
“Don’t tell me... is he—-”
“I’m sorry, my dear,” she sighs. “But your cat is heavily obese.”
The corners of your lips twitch down into a frown, and your palm is warm when you start to stroke Dante’s fur. He calms down a bit from your touch, less on edge but still guarded as he warily eyes the doctor’s gloved hands.
“But I don’t understand,” you reply. “I’ve been following the recommended diet you put him on, and I haven’t been feeding him anything other than the cat food and vitamins you recommended. How’s he still obese?”
“Well, we could look into other solutions, but for now I think we ought to look at whether or not Dante has an underlying health problem.”
Levi tunes out the chatter between you and the vet, bored eyes staring into nothing. He’s leaning against a wall and he’s watching the cat carrier. Your bag’s slung over his shoulders and your coat’s in his arms, and he was sure you didn’t even need him to be here for “moral support.”
He mentally scoffs. You probably just needed a chauffeur to drive you for free, and honestly, Levi would rather feel like a chauffeur than a coat rack.
His eyes make contact with Dante’s, and all the fear in the cat’s eyes is suddenly gone, replaced with a steely glare and bared teeth. A warning, one no one else notices but him.
Levi gives him a solitary nod, understanding what Dante wanted to say.
Don’t tell Y/N I’ve been sneaking to the neighbors.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
vii. seventh terrace: desire
There’s something about the buzz of alcohol and nicotine that makes Levi confident—- the liquid courage in his veins and the smoke in his lungs clouding his judgement. Perhaps that’s where he finally gets the balls to cross the room, drunken eyes on your equally intoxicated ones, before he pulls you in for a kiss.
The kiss starts slow, with lips just interlocking and lightly testing the waters. But then he feels your tongue make its way inside his mouth and your fingers weave into his hair to tug him closer, and Levi loses the last threads of inhibition he has. His tongue massages yours and one of his arm wraps around your waist, the other comes down to grope and knead your ass. He feels you walk backwards and your hand pulls at his tie, dragging him with you. Suddenly he’s trapping you against a wall, lifting one of your legs up to wrap around his hips so he could grind his crotch into yours.
Levi doesn’t expect his first kiss with you to be like this; messy and full of tongue and spit, full of fingers clawing at clothes and small grunts escaping your lips. He was hoping it’d be more romantic, with warm cheeks and fingers softly intertwining, shy kisses exchanged through little smiles.
But he’s not about to complain—- he’s wanted to be with you for years, and god he loved having you like this. Loved having you all hot and desperate, trapped between his firm chest and the wall. His cock is hard in his pants, and he just about growls when he feels you start to undo his belt, the fly of his pants coming down as you got on your knees and stared up at him with innocent eyes as you pull out his aching boner. There’s a cheeky grin your face when you pump at his length, and your tongue peaks out of your mouth before—
“Levi, are you okay?”
His eyes snap open, and he’s greeted to the sight of your worried face directly above his.
“Fuck!” he yells, and his forehead slams into yours when he flinches away. “Sorry, sorry” he quickly ammends when you yelp in pain.
He’s covered in sweat, he notices. Chest heaving, heart beating a little too loud for his liking, and he silently pulls the blankets over his cum stained boxers when you sit beside him.
God, he was really hoping you wouldn’t notice the fact that he came in his pants like a high schooler. And it was before dream you even got to suck him off. How much more pathetic could he be.
“Are you okay?” He asks, and you nod.
“Yeah, m’fine, it’s just...” your eyes are distracted, staring off into space. Fingers trace his thighs, and you sigh. “You were having a nightmare,”
Levi blinks. “What?”
“You were having a nightmare,” you repeat. “Kept tossing and turning and groaning in your sleep. And you kept making these... funny faces,”
“...right,” he nods. Sure, a nightmare. A nightmare he never wanted to wake up from.
It takes about ten minutes to reassure you that yes, he was fine, don’t mind the way his cheeks are flushed, he was just... shaken up from his nightmare, is all. Then you’re back to bed, sleeping the night away, and twenty minutes later he’s on his way back to bed too; this time with a fresh pair of boxers and a content look on his face, all thanks to him finishing off his fantasies in the communal bathroom during his shower.
The door makes a quiet click when he shuts it behind him, and he freezes when he catches sight of Dante sat up on your bed, tail flicking behind him as he gives Levi a knowing look.
Levi squints his eyes, and he threateningly whispers, “you tell no one.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
epilogue
The half empty room brings a frown to your face, and all you could do was pout as you sealed up the last of the boxes.
“Why do you have to leave again?” you ask, and Levi turns around as he finishes folding the last of his clothes. He shrugs. “Cats aren’t allowed in the dorms.”
You owed him your entire college career, that much was sure. The RA’s found out about Dante, and Levi had taken the fall to spare you. He wasn’t required to move out since it was only his first strike, but he insisted on doing so so that Dante wouldn’t be alone, saying he already found an apartment nearby and he’ll never hear the end of it from you if he didn’t take Dante with him.
Bullshit. Levi had a soft spot for Dante, you knew that much. He wasn’t doing it for you, he was doing it for himself. Though normally you’d be overjoyed to know that Levi really did secretly like the cat he pretended to hate so much, this time, you were just pissed. You couldn’t believe a fucking cat was stealing away the guy you’ve been in love with since high school. Sure, you were too much of a coward to ask him out, but he was basically your boyfriend already—- the entire campus knew you inadvertently had dibs on each other.
“Yeah but... do you have to leave me alone?”
“I asked you to come with me, and you said no.” He points out. “I still don’t see why when we’ve been roommates since we were freshmen.”
“It’s different off-campus!”
“How?”
“Because it’s like... it’s like we’re moving in together, y’know?” you reply. “And it seemed wrong to move in with you when we’re not even dating.”
“Let’s do it, then.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighs, handing you a spare key to what you could only assume was his new apartment. You glance between him and the key in your hands, and he rolls his eyes when he realizes that you still don’t get it.
“I know we’re doing this backwards since couples don’t typically move in before the first date,” he says before gesturing to Dante. “But we already have a son, and I know you’re his favorite parent. We can share custody until you can move in with me.”
You blink. “What?” Your brain stopped working when Levi referred to you as a couple, and you’re pretty sure your heart stopped beating too. At this point, anything he said went in one ear and out the other. He flicks your forehead.
“Hey— ow! What was that for?”
“You weren’t listening.”
“And you’re being a prick!” you grumble. “It hurts, y’know.”
He scoffs. “What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?” he scoffs.
Your mouth moves faster than your brain, “I’d rather you kiss me.”
Wait. What?
Before you could go back on your words, Levi shrugs. Warm palms gently grab your cheeks, pulling your face closer to his. Your eyes widen and you momentarily freeze, brain definitely not working anymore. He hesitates when you don’t make a move, but then you’re shyly leaning forward, and that was all the confirmation Levi needs.
“If you insist,” he whispers, and suddenly your words die on your tongue when his lips interlock with yours.
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askagamedev · 3 years ago
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Lightning Mailbag: The “I’m Really Tired Again” Edition
Questions with short answers, go!
Where does getting the age rating from rating boards like the ESRB fit into the timeline of a project?
The targeted age range is usually decided upon very early in the game's preproduction phase but the actual final rating isn't obtained until the game is nearing completion and we can submit it for evaluation. The ESRB has to vet the game’s shipping content, similar to how games undergo certification with platform.
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What are your opinions on the recently released PlayDate handheld console? Do you think it will be successful enough to create its own audience? Do you there will be enough developers to make games for it?
I think it's too expensive. $180 for that thing seems too high, especially when compared to available alternatives. A new Nintendo Switch Lite retails just slightly higher at $200. I wish them luck and I’d be happy to be proven wrong, but that price tag is surely going to induce some sticker shock.
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Funding / Pitching your intillectual property, A friend and I have an idea for a game and thought the best way to begin funding the project would be to pay for a "video" montage of the concept / basics / mechanics and game play - obviously nothing is developed but to show the idea or secure funding is this a road many developers go down ?
Absolutely. You need to persuade the people with the money that the product you hope to build can be successful. Even if you cannot build a fully playable prototype by the time you get the meeting, being able to show off what the game should be like goes a long way toward persuading people that the idea can work. Of course, you still need to persuade the investors that you can hire the sort of developers you know you'll need in order to make what you showed in the video a reality, but that's usually much easier than selling them on a product idea they don't really understand.
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What do you think of cloud versions of 3rd party games on the Nintendo Switch? Is it going to become a norm, or just a temporary solution while Nintendo catches up with hardware?
"If it's stupid and it works, it isn't stupid." It’s a functional and timely solution to a difficult technical problem, so I’m not surprised that publishers have leaned in that direction. If it’s popular enough, they’ll continue to do it.
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writerofthecourt · 4 years ago
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ushijima, sakusa, iwaizumi, and shirabu being protective of their mute!girlfriend
warning: some bullying and harassment, very slight time skip spoilers, slight mention of injury and blood
a/n: for you, anon! i hope you guys enjoy
EDIT: this is a reupload because tumblr kept deleting me from the tags
ushijima wakatoshi
honestly, you guys were a weird couple
ushijima’s a man of few words, while you’re a person of no words
tendou was 100% convinced that you guys had some weird couples’ telepathy going on
(no one tell him that it’s just text messages and a pen and paper)
for the most part, everybody at shiratorizawa was cool with your relationship
everyone except for ushijima’s fangirls
“i don’t know what he sees in her. she’s not even that pretty”
“maybe he likes charity cases”
you ignored the two girls as they followed after you, your indifferent attitude only further fuelling their anger
“oi, [l/n]. don’t ignore us. you really think you’re too good for us just because you’re dating ushijima-kun?”
“he’s probably just taking pity on you since no one else would want your mute self”
their insults didn’t stop, not even as you approached the gym
“why does ushijima-kun even bother with you?”
“yeah, he would be so much better off without you”
it was at this time that ushijima had just returned from refilling his water bottle and happened to overhear the conversation
“i’d have to disagree with you,” your boyfriend proclaimed
“u-ushijima-kun, where did you come from?” one of the girls stuttered
“[y/n] is a wonderful person, and i’m lucky to have her,” ushijima continued unwaveringly. “i don’t agree with your comments. apologize to [y/n] at once”
at this point, the two girls knew that there was no winning in this situation
they exchanged a nervous glance with one another before hastily throwing out an apology. “s-sorry, [l/n]”
you tried not to smirk as the two girls quickly walked away, embarrassed that their idol had seen them in such a bad light
you sent your boyfriend an appreciative smile before he happily took a hold of your hand and led you towards the gym
in conclusion: no words were needed when the two of you were together
sakusa kiyoomi
when news broke out that you and sakusa were dating, sakusa was livid
not only was it an invasion of privacy, but the fact that it was atsumu’s fault made sakusa even more mad
the idiot forgot to crop you and sakusa out of the background of his stupid selfie
#sakusaandmysterywoman started trending online before sakusa had to eventually tell everyone the truth
“[y/n]’s my girlfriend. leave us alone,” was all sakusa tweeted before social media caught on fire and exploded
like with any celebrity dating scandal, there was some backlash from the fans, especially from the crazy ones who accused you of stealing away their precious omi-kun
eventually, everything settled down, and the fans became a lot more supportive of you and sakusa’s relationship
this led sakusa to being more comfortable about sharing pieces of his relationship with you online
although he was clearly happy, this didn’t stop his overzealous fans from constantly insulting you
“why does [y/n] never say anything when omi-omi gives her a compliment?”
“ngl [y/n] seems kind of rude. i feel like sakusa deserves better”
“omi-kun should be with someone who’s actually worthy of him. [y/n] ain’t it chief”
the only reason why sakusa didn’t respond to any of these people was because you told him not to, and he wanted to respect your wishes
it wasn’t until an especially concerning tweet about a fan “paying you a visit” that sakusa finally had to put a stop to all of this nonsense
“to anyone insulting or even going as far as to threaten my girlfriend, just stop. if you can’t support my decision, then i don’t need you. you are not a ‘true’ fan. i love [y/n], and i’m happy with her. to all of you who have been supportive of my relationship with [y/n], thank you. i don’t say this enough, but i truly appreciate you guys”
after sakusa’s tweet, #omi[y/n] started trending in support of you and sakusa’s relationship, which finally put a stop to all of the online hate
in conclusion: blame atsumu
iwaizumi hajime
when iwaizumi asked if you wanted to go see a movie with him on the weekend, you were over the moon
you knew just how busy your boyfriend was with volleyball practice, so you weren’t too pushy when it came to dates
you made sure to put a little extra effort into your outfit and appearance that day because you wanted to look cute for you boyfriend
unfortunately, this also caught the eyes of guys other than iwaizumi
“hey, cutie. you by yourself?” a flirtatious male close to your age asked. “i wouldn’t mind keeping you company”
you tried not to blanch as you took a step back and shook your head, indicating that you weren’t interested
this did nothing to dissuade the flirtatious guy, as he offered you a charming smile. “you can pick the movie if you want to. come on, it’ll be fun”
you were about to walk away when an all too familiar arm securely placed itself around your shoulder in a protective hold
“leave her alone. she’s not interested,” your boyfriend scowled
“says who?”
“says me. got a problem?”
“w-whatever, man. you can have her”
as the flirtatious guy began to walk away, the harsh glare on iwaizumi’s face soon transformed into worry as he turned to look at you. “sorry i’m late. are you okay? you’re not hurt, right?”
you nodded your head in reassurance while offering iwaizumi a gracious smile
your boyfriend smiled back before placing a gentle kiss just below your eye
“i’ll always be there to protect you, okay?” iwaizumi reminded you
you nodded your head once again, never doubting him for a moment
in conclusion: don’t mess with the seijoh arm wrestling champion
shirabu kenjirou
for the most part, you liked being the manager of the boys’ volleyball team
the shiratorizawa players were always chaotic and funny, and you were proud to call yourself a part of the team
although, if there was one thing to complain about, it would definitely have to be some of their fans
you were in the middle of bandaging shirabu’s injured finger when a chorus of high-pitched cheers rang out from near the gym doors
“[l/n], go deal with that,” coach washijo grumbled in annoyance
you sent your boyfriend an apologetic smile before signing to him to continue applying pressure in order to stop the bleeding
grabbing your pen and notebook, you wrote down a quick message before walking over to where the three girls were standing
please keep your voices down, your note read
“we’re just cheering on the players," one of the girls said
"yeah, what’s wrong with that?” another girl remarked
you’re distracting the players from practice
“well, must be easy for you since you can’t even seem to speak at all,” the last girl replied mockingly, followed by the laughter of her two friends
shirabu, who had been listening to the conversation, immediately got up from the bench to go stand next to you
“you three have been nothing but nuisances this whole time, and everyone agrees with me,” shirabu snapped furiously. “if you can’t be quiet, then leave!”
after shirabu’s angry outburst, the three girls promptly quieted down
you’re too nice, your boyfriend signed after the two of you returned to the bench
well, you know what they say. opposites attract and all that
oh, shut up
you only smiled in response as you finished bandaging shirabu’s finger before pressing a light kiss to the back of his hand
“stop mocking me with your cute couple-y-ness!” tendou screeched from across the court, having just witnessed your adorable exchange
“tendou! five laps around the school!”
in conclusion: stop yelling in the gym!
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steve0discusses · 4 years ago
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The Full Metal Alchemist Live Action Movie Part 8: Watch This Episode Covered in Butts be the Only One Not Flagged by Tumblr
Gonna be risky business and not only upload all of these caps the way I screenshot them--which has just SO MANY poorly CGI’d butts but also gonna do it on the Tumblr Drafts folder, which I have been assured works now.
I’m so worried about so many things, but considering all the fears I have about like...everything else in the world right now...I guess I’ll take a risk on tumblr.
Edit: I cannot believe that I had 8ish episodes of Kaiba’s tall dueling tower get flagged but not this movie. I just....wow I cannot.
So anyway, last we left off, General Hakuro stepped in and was like “Hi guys, you like my wily plans that no one in their right mind would have ever guessed???”
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Yo remember this part of the anime? Where the bodies drop from the ceiling and it’s a hunk out of the final arc--it’s here. In this movie. This movie that can’t possibly afford to do that. Lets get some CGI animated bodies in here ASAP.
(see some texture regrets under the cut)
It’s like a Monet, as the Mean Girls say, because far away and shrinked to 500 pixels this looks kinda neat. They sort of look more like those slime ball that grow in the back of your throat rather than human bodies, but they still look pretty gross hanging up there.
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But then.....we zoom in. Remember again that this was full screen on my computer, and at one point was on a freakin movie screen. This level of 3d...was on a movie theater screen.
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The mind boggles. The mind boggles!
Like as you know, I am an artist, and I’ve dabbled in...basically everything in my pursuit to make a dollar...and I have taken about 2 years of classes in 3D art with Maya and all those. I’m not thaaat great at it--I’m much more an illustrator/painter--but I feel like I have that reference point. Can I just say--the model is...fine...you can do a lot with layers of bump maps so you don’t need a truly detailed model (not like they did that, because they didn’t do that, but I can figure that maybe they had an intention to do that and forgot?)
But, there’s no connection of the wires to bodies. They just kinda float? The bodies are also all the same shiny-ness? To the point that it looks like a copy paste? (I don’t think it is, the wires are slightly different on a few of them) There’s just not much in the way of a texture map or a bump map. It just...there’s also something missing from the skin.
Skin is actually kind of rough to render, so when I did it back in the day, I followed like a checklist to make sure I had all the layers and steps to make someone look...clammy. Some things are kinda translucent, they reflect light a different way...especially white skin like this wouldn’t be just...white like putty. Dunno if you ever saw a white person, but we got so many veins...there was so much potential to make something really gross and fleshy.
Instead we got silly putty. It’s fine. I’m fine.
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So General Hakuro decides to just...kill everyone right now.
This makes no sense to me.
That means that the whole thing of Lust killing Hughes was completely unrelated to General Hakuro. All Hakuro needed was Shou Tucker, who has been in prison for...I assume months since Ed shipped him off. And Shou was only released today? Just now? Just now when Hughes was shot?
So this all just happened at the same time by accident?
I mean the General sent us to the wrong lab initially, so he didn’t actually want us to be here, and now that we are here, he’s going to set off an entire army as a reaction to three people walking in and going “oops”?
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So, lets get a look at our army.
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Oh it was so disappointing, this reveal. Not just the eyeball that has a bounce light coming from below the top lip there (how did that even happen???) but also when it opened it’s mouth, it had a flat animation of skin breaking--it wasn’t actually rendered 3d skin, it was like a jpg wrapped around it or something (or at least that was the illusion I got. That is fine for a video game or a TV show, but this is a movie. This is shot so that it can be displayed in a size bigger than your own house.
What happened to the animation team on this one? Not saying I can do better, cuz no, I can’t, that 3d chapter in my life was a while back, but I’m just one guy. This was an entire animation studio and they just...didn’t render 3d face ripping (which is their entire job, to work in 3d) and then they kinda just turned on the stock physics dynamics and dropped em instead of animating them.
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The way they fell was like fish from a bucket--the same amount of speed, too. they all ragdolled like a 3D shooter, their rigs just hanging on for dear life (and yes, you could see the deforming happen on the joints of these models.) I’m fine with having a computer program render something out with a physics engine...but there is a balance.
You do have to still go in there and finangle it back because...real life is hella stupid. Real physics? So stupid. It was hilarious how nonthreatening it was, too because they’re like...the size of shrimps in that zoom out image. The scale is just so wild!
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It was like one bored guy in a sound booth and they multiplied his voice three times. Golden. Absolutely golden.
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So these guys stride over, all of them with the same amount of speed (leading me to think it was probably a recorded walk cycle they all share with slight alterations between all of em) and they kinda just...pile on eachother in a weird way.
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I will give them this: I was happy to see something that wasn’t physics or procedural. They mo-capped and animated that part for sure. It had the touch of an artist’s hand. It was also a very funny way for Hakuro to die because this guy was on screen for like 5 minutes, and maybe 7 minutes of this whole movie.
Youknow...I think it really says a lot about your nude 3d models if they’re not disturbingly human enough to trigger the tumblr filter, youknow?
Anyway, Envy looks on.
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And then Gluttony saves the city.
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Meanwhile, they decide to bust out the fire effects and Mustang becomes the most useful person in this entire movie. Like honestly this movie was poorly named, because it should have just been “Mustang saves the FullMetal Alchemist’s Entire Ass.”
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The next part seems like I forgot a cap, or maybe missed something. I swear to you, I did not.
First off, Al becomes fullmetal and makes this happen without an alchemy circle. The show doesn’t really care to talk about that though, it’s just a thing he can do now, and you’d only notice it if you were writing a Tumblr post about it.
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I swear to you, Winry is just inside of Al and there is no explanation.
There is no explanation for this.
She was on the couch...why is she not on the couch? What?
And then when you think they might have a moment, Ed’s like.
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Damn.
For reals what the hell was that entire scene except for a way for Ed to get his arm stitched back on in like 2 minutes?
Outside, Envy and Lust are just strolling around the back-alley of this red brick building we have seen used for this entire movie.
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And like...it’s so funny to me because they weren’t trying to run or hide. It makes complete sense why they got shot. This is what happens when you just...walk away when the whole military guard wants to kill you.
Now lets go see how Hawkeye is faring.
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Luckily, all of the ambling bodies have decided to walk slowly through this one weird grass section between extremely long buildings.
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And Hawkeye tells everyone “You have to shoot their heads off” and I want you to look at that scene and tell me how many of those bodies still have heads.
Oh, all of them. Don’t worry about it.
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Kinda hard to see, but Ed shows up to give Mustang a hand, which was fully unnecessary but we’ll get to that in a bit.
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This movie is such a gem.
Ed goes big brain and realizes that Envy is still burned up, and thus is about to pass on.
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And whatever, I’ll take it. It’s not like the movie has told us that they are made out of 1000000 lives, for all we know, in the movie universe, they really are only 4 lives. Like half a cat. Maybe Father only killed half a cat instead of an entire city.
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Yugi Muto would be so freakin proud of Envy for how often this guy gets hit square in the chest with fire balls. It’s basically every scene where Envy and Mustang share screen time.
And don’t worry, I don’t think Envy died? But they sure made it look like he did, which I’m sure everyone everywhere was really happy to see, since Envy’s death was one of the climaxes of the whole series. Like people used to make these lists of “top 10 saddest anime deaths” and how many people had Envy on there? Like everyone? People freakin love Envy and they did him so much dirty in this movie.
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Again I have no explanation for Winry.
So Mustang is like, Ed, you make sure Winry doesn’t biff it in that corner, and I’ll do my actual job over here on this side. And yo, he did.
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And so then that’s it, Lust is dead, and now we have a Sorcerer’s stone.
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Man it looks delicious, right?
I’d eat the hell out of that.
Anyway, we only have one more update and we’re done with this movie!
I know!
I know! They only have 10-15 minutes to resolve pretty much everything, and that’s assuming that the credits don’t take up a heap of that. Hell, I might only have 3 caps next episode if that’s all credits. I honestly don’t remember.
Anyway, hope y’all take it easy this February, here is a link for people who just got here to read these FMA recaps in Chrono order.
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono
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lihikainanea · 5 years ago
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The Dangerous Forest Excursion Part 2
Author’s note: I kept very, very quiet about this. I didn’t mention to anyone that I was working on it--I was sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.
Partly because I really was completely fucking devastated when Tumblr deleted the original and I stupidly didn’t have a back up copy, and partly because it was such a daunting task for me--I really, really did think that the original was perfect. And the more I thought about attempting to re-write it, the more I broke out into a cold sweat.
Eventually, though, I decided that I just...couldn’t leave this part unwritten. It’s too important of a juncture in their relationship--it’s the first time tiger realizes what she needs from Bill and asks for it, it’s the first time they incorporate punishment into their dynamic, and it’s the first time Bill starts to understand tiger much better. It was too pivotal to not have still around.
Ultimately, though--I also decided that it was too difficult for me to re-write it as it once was. Because in my brain, my tiresome little perfectionist brain,  it would never be on par with the first version--I really do think it was probably my most favourite thing I have written, ever.
The original was posted back in August, and 3 days later--when I was just  editing a stupid tag for it--Tumblr just up and deleted the entire thing without a trace. If you were lucky enough to read it while it existed, then I’m glad. It was my peak. But for everyone else, I hope this slightly different version lives up to all of the hype you might have heard about it.
You can read part one of the dangerous forest excursion here. If you have trouble with it, or if you need some hindsight as to where my mind was at, you can read my director’s (author’s?) commentary.
I love you guys. Thank you for your enthusiasm for this two-parter, and your very kind demands that I take another stab at this piece. ***
You hadn’t meant to run, to leave. You hadn’t meant to do the very same thing that had gotten the both of you into this mess to begin with. But it was too much, all of it was too much and it was more than you could handle. It had been days since you had gotten lost in the minefield that was that forest, days since the first promise you ever broke to Bill, days since you were on the receiving end of his fury—fury that was still too fresh in your mind, still weighing on your psyche, still ripping you apart. You didn’t know what was happening, how to make sense of what you were feeling, why his anger was still crushing your chest. Why the guilt you felt from it burned like acid through your veins, why you couldn’t reel your emotions in. 
Bill, for as passionate as he was, never carried things for long. He would feel an emotion intensely, let it ruin him for the moment, but when it was done…it was done. He had been furious with you that night, enraged enough to ignore your need for his help. His own emotions had exploded, clawed their way out of him until he was yelling at you… until you used your safe word. He had paused, horrified, stepping outside to regain his composure before coming back in. It was the maddest you had ever seen him, but within a few minutes—after exchanged apologies, softer words—it was done. You were forgiven, and the chapter was closed. 
For him.
You still needed more. It weighed too heavily on your mind—his anger, his disappointment in you. You couldn’t put words to it, this feeling of dread still nagging in the back of your mind, this lack of closure over it all. The lack of feeling forgiven.
And maybe that was it, maybe that’s what this ache burning into your mind was. A lack of feeling forgiven. You had done something wrong, put yourself in danger, broken a promise to him, and after a few exchanged words…it was done. You were forgiven. It lacked the depth that you needed, it lacked all of the components that you didn’t know you needed in order to feel forgiven. It lacked…consequence. Your actions had only merited his anger, his disappointment with you, and just as suddenly as they appeared, they had vanished. Without a single consequence.
It felt fake. And even though he told you that he forgave you, even though he made sure you understood, it still somehow lacked the validity you needed. Consequence, you realized, was what you were after. Wrong doings and punishment. Action and consequence. It was the balance that had lacked, and what had played on your mind to make you believe that you still didn’t have his total forgiveness.
You struggled with it, wrestled with the idea. You wanted to bring it up to him, you wanted to ask for his help, but you didn’t know how.You still couldn’t articulate the feeling properly, or tell him what you needed that would help. You wanted consequence, wanted a little absolution, but you didn’t know what that looked like. His words weren’t enough, you needed something a little more…concrete. Physical.
Punishment, you realized, but in that exact form: physical. He had spanked you before but it was strictly under the guise of pleasure, as part of something you both enjoyed, and you didn’t know how he would react to your request to use it as a form of exoneration.You struggled with it, struggled with how to ask for what you needed, and the more the days wore on, the more you withdrew. The more your mind got away on you. And it culminated one night as you were both reading on the couch, when Bill suddenly shut his book and turned to you, taking yours from your hand and placing both on the coffee table.
“Tiger, what is it?” He asked with a heavy sigh, “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” You feigned confusion, but it didn’t work. He rested his hand on top of yours in your lap.
“You know what I mean,” he coaxed, “Something still isn’t right with you. And I need you to be honest with me, so that we can fix it.”
You squirmed, avoiding his gaze and fidgeting. Taking both of your hands in his, he ducked his gaze until he caught your eye.
“Please kid,” he pleaded, “Whatever it is, we can fix it.”
You let out a long sigh, meeting his eyes when he brought your hands to his mouth and kissed them.
“I don’t feel forgiven,” you whispered.
“What?”
“What happened between us. I don’t feel forgiven,” you said, “Bill, I can’t even explain it. I don’t know how. But there is just this….this weight on me, this nagging in my brain. This nagging that needs closure. Somehow. I need something that will just…something that will confirm to me, beyond shadow of a doubt that I’m forgiven. Because right now, I still feel like you’re mad at me. I still feel your disappointment, your anger, I feel everything except your forgiveness and it’s just very…heavy.”
There was a long pause, a lingering silence as he took in your words.
“Tiger,” he started gently, “I’ve forgiven you. It’s done for me. You’re forgiven. You need to know that.”
“I do know that,” you interjected, and he grabbed your face in his hands.
“Say it then,” he ordered. You sighed.
“I’m forgiven,” you mumbled.
“Not just that,” he implored.
“You forgive me,” you clarified, “You forgive me. Bill, I can say it as much as I want. For whatever reason, I don’t feel it. And I need to feel it, for me to be able to put this behind me. I need something to help me feel forgiven. Some form of absolution.”
“And do you know what that is?” He asked. You bit your lip and tried to take back your hands from his, but he held on, “Kid, it’s me. You can ask me for anything, I’ll give it to you.”
“I need you to spank me,” you whispered.
“Okay….is that it? Because tiger, we do that already. If you want more of it, just—”
“Punishment,” you interrupted, “I need you to punish me.”
He went still, releasing your hands from his.
“What?” He asked.
“I need you to punish me,” you repeated, “Action, and consequence. I let you down. I disappointed you, I broke a promise to you. And even though you’ve told me a million times that I’m forgiven, I don’t feel forgiven— because there hasn’t been a consequence. And I need you to give me some proof or confirmation, some kind of consequence to my actions, that cuts through this mess in my head. So that I can move on from it.”
The silence was deafening, and you glanced up from your lap to see his eyes boring into yours.
“No,” he said definitively, “Tiger, no.”
Your chest constricted, your lungs tightening as he stood abruptly from the couch. He paced the living room, raking his hands through his hair as you fought the urge to cry.
“No?” You whispered, and swallowed hard, “Why no?”
“Because,” he spat, “Because just no, tiger. You’re forgiven. I’m not going to hurt you just to prove that to you.”
“You spank me anyway, what’s the big difference? It’s the same thing,” you argued.
“I spank you because you enjoy it, because it gives you pleasure. What’s you’re after is not pleasure kid, it’s pain.”
“I thought I could ask you for anything,” you murmured, and the sob in your throat was threatening to break. You felt humiliated, embarrassed, and foolish for even asking.
“You can,” he stopped his pacing, turning his attention on you as he rubbed his hands over his face,”You can ask me for anything. But this— this isn’t anything. You’re asking me to hurt you because you think you deserve it, all to get confirmation on something you already have. Tiger, you have my forgiveness.”
“I’m asking for absolution,” you tried.
“No, you’re asking for penance. You’re asking for pain,” his voice was thick with barely controlled emotion.
“It’s not pain, Bill,” you tried again, “At least not more than what I can handle. And it would help.”
“No,” he shook his head definitively, “It’s no, tiger. Find some other way to repent, some other way to get the penance you think you need.”
You sniffled, nodding your head as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. The hot flash of embarrassment crept up your chest, burning its way into your mind to join all the other feelings of shame and disappointment you had felt crushing you for days.
You heard him take a deep breath, felt the couch dip under his weight as he sat down beside you and took your hand in his.
“Tiger,” he said softly, “Hurting you is a hard limit for me. I can’t.”
You nodded, swiping at your cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he continued. You shrugged and tried for a half hearted smile, but you knew he saw through it.
“Limits are limits,” you told him, “We both have them. I won’t push yours.”
He nodded, still looking a little unsure, but leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to yours.
And that’s where you had left it. But when the next day felt even heavier, and the one after that was worse, you shut down. You needed…distance. You needed to clear your head, to forget the conversation, to get over your humiliation, try and deal with the mess in your head by yourself. So you sought solace the only way you knew how.
By running.
And so, you fled. You waited until he stepped out for groceries, knowing it was at least an hour there and back each way, giving you enough time to pack up the few things your had taken with you, and be on your way. Not wanting Bill to panic when he couldn’t find you, you took a second to scrawl a note on a torn piece of paper, leaving it on the kitchen table for him to find.
Gone in search of penance. Need space.
I love you,
Tiger
And you grabbed the duffel bag you had packed, and left. The area was remote, no cabs available, but over the course of a few days you had become friendly with some of the fishermen by the harbour. They left in the early afternoon to ride back into town with their haul for the markets, and you planned to hitch a ride with one of them. The wharf was 2 miles from the house, a slightly winding road, but one that was impossible to get lost on. You heaved the bag over your shoulder, and set out.
It took two hours for the calls to start coming in, his name popping up on your screen. You ignored them every time, but the texts followed soon after.
Tiger, where are you?
Are you okay?
Come back, kid. We need to talk about this.
You ignored those too. And once back on the mainland you headed to his apartment for the rest of your things, before getting a cab to the airport to change your flight home for the soonest one available. The texts continued and you ignored them as best you could, but a last desperate plea came in before your plane took off.
I love you, kid. But you can’t keep running.
With a heavy sigh, you shut off your phone.
You only let yourself break when you unlocked the door to your apartment, inside the comfort of your own home it all came crashing down onto you and you let it. You cried as you started a hot shower, kept crying as you brushed your hair out, and cried just that much harder when you pulled one of his shirts on over your head and curled up to try and get some much needed sleep. You hesitated when you reached for your phone, wondering if you should turn it back on and worried at what you might see, but with a deep sigh you caved. The messages were no surprise.
Please kid, come back.
I love you tiger, and I’m sorry.
Sniffling, you shoved the phone under your pillow and tried to sleep. It was in vain and you had a feeling it would be, the night dragging on as you held onto your pillow, your eyes barely closing for longer than a blink. It was too much, it was still too much, and now the added weight of Bill’s refusal to give you what you told him you needed just drove you further into your head. You couldn’t escape it anymore.
You tried to get comfortable, tried to relax enough to just get an ounce of the rest you needed, but it was completely futile. So when the first hints of dawn broke on a sleepless night, you rubbed at your eyes in frustration, wincing as they burned. Resigned to your fate, you threw back the sheets and stood. You eyed your phone as it dinged with a new message, but you left it there on the bed as you went to get a pot of coffee on.
You heard it ping with a message—then again a second later, and on the third one, you sighed and gave up. Reaching for it, the message tugged at something in you.
Tiger, please. I’ll give you space. Just please, kid—send me something to let me know you’re safe. It doesn’t even have to be a word. Just something. I need to know you’re safe.
You knew he meant it, and you knew that he was probably still going out of his mind with worry even though you left a note. You started typing out your response—a brief, curt sentence of just barely two words—but a noise from the front porch stopped you dead in your tracks.
A key. In the lock. The door opening. There was only one other person in the world who had a key to your apartment.
“Tiger!” You heard him bellow, and your blood ran cold. His footsteps thundered up your stairs, taking two and three at a time, and you raced to the front door just in time to slam the deadbolt across. He jammed his key in the lock, turning it and throwing your door open—only to have it come to an abrupt halt when the chain for the bolt caught.
“Tiger, open the fucking door,” he growled, squeezing his hand through to try and undo the chain.
“No, I’m not ready to see you,” you said meekly.
“I don’t give a fuck what you’re ready for kid, we’re going to talk,” he pulled the door forward before pushing it again, trying to jimmy the chain loose.
“No,” you said sternly, but he wasn’t having it.
“We tried it your way kid, now we’re going to do it my way,” he snarled, “Open the fucking door.”
“Go away, Bill,” you pleaded.
You heard his deep breath, followed by the sound of his footsteps retreating down the stairs and the front door slamming. You thought—just for a brief moment—that maybe it worked. Maybe you had convinced him.
Until you heard a commotion from the kitchen.
He had taken a running leap up the side of your apartment, balancing his foot on a drainage pipe for just a second to gain enough height to latch onto the stone ledge beneath your kitchen window. Tossing your screen open, in a feat of incredible strength—God, you forgot how strong he was sometimes—he pulled himself up. You ran to the kitchen just in time to see half of his upper body coming through the window, a leg following close behind and landing in your sink as he folded himself in half, squeezing through the frame. His limbs tangled and he couldn’t get a good angle so you watched, eyes wide, as his other leg came jutting through and he tumbled to the floor in your kitchen.
You stood there, stunned.
He looked up at you from the floor, his eyes blazing, as he slowly pushed himself upright. He didn’t break your gaze, didn’t even blink as he slowly advanced on you. His shoulders square, stretched up to his full height, he towered as he took slow strides towards you. You took one back for every one of his forward.
“Why do you run?” he growled, “Why do you. Always. Run.”
You were powerless, and as if to emphasize his point— because your mind was on survival mode–you turned and bolted. Tried to make it down the hallway but you barely got two steps away before his hand closed on your arm and he hauled you back with a force, slamming your back into the wall. He leaned down to be in your eyesight, placing his palms flat on the wall on either side and glowering at you. 
His jaw ticked, and you gulped.
“Tiger, enough,” he growled, “Look at me.”
When you kept your eyes downcast, he took your chin in one of his hands and tilted your head up roughly.
“Look at me, and tell me why you ran,” he said, and it was that tone of voice—that authoritative, commanding tone of voice that even thick with emotion, had your knees almost giving out. The knot, that pit of fire that had been burning in your stomach for over a week, was starting to uncoil. Just barely.
“Because I was scared,” you mumbled, “I was embarrassed.”
“Why?” He demanded, and you looked down for a second before he was wrenching your chin up again “Look at me.”
“Because I asked you for something,” your voice shook and your lip quivered, “Something that I needed, and you told me no.”
“Why did I tell you no?” His eyes bore into yours.
“I don’t know,” you mumbled pathetically, a few tears rolling down your cheeks.
“Tiger.”
“Because you didn’t want to hurt me,” you sniffled. And for the first time, you saw him soften. You felt his warm breath fan over your face as he sighed, releasing the vice grip on your chin to cup your face instead.
“Tiger, do you understand that?” He asked gently, “Why I said no? Why I didn’t want to hurt you?”
“I guess,” you shrugged, “Even though it wouldn’t hurt me. You spank me anyway, and I—”
He placed a finger over your mouth, and you stopped.
“Punishment is different. Punishment implies that I’m inflicting pain on purpose, hurting you on purpose. And I didn’t want to do that,” he said. You huffed, trying to push him away but he didn’t move.
“We had this conversation two days ago Bill,” you snapped, “I’m not having it again.”
“I’m not done,” he put his knee between your legs, placing a flat hand on your chest and keeping you pinned to the wall, “I didn’t want to hurt you. I still don’t. But I…I looked into it a bit more. And I understand a little better now, why you might need this. Some kind of punishment to set your mind back right again. I understand you a little better now.”
“What?”
“Tiger, I don’t need this. I forgave you a long time ago. But I understand why maybe it’s more…complicated, in your mind. Why you’re having more trouble with it. And if you still need what you asked me for, then I’ll give it to you.”
You swallowed hard, meeting his gaze as you struggled to find words.
“You will?” You asked.
“Yes,” he said, and he took your cheek in his hand, “Do you still need it? Will it help?”
“Yes,” you answered without an ounce of hesitation, “Please, Bill. It’ll help.”
He nodded once, bending to press his lips to yours in a lingering kiss.
“Go wait for me on the bed, then. Clothes off,” he took a slow step back, “I’ll be there in a minute.”
It took you a second to realize that he was serious, but then you got your feet under you and pushed off from the wall. You stopped on your way out the kitchen, turning around and walking back to him to pull him in for another kiss.
“Thank you, bud,” you whispered. He nodded again, jutting his chin down the hallway to get you moving again before he lost his nerve.
Once you were out of his sight, he took a few calming breaths—deep and steadying, before heading to the cabinet where you kept your liquor. Finding the Swedish one you never drank, he popped the cap off and downed a gulp right from the bottle before shaking his head to clear the fog. Swiping his thumb across his lip, he headed to your bedroom.
You were sitting cross legged on the bed, waiting for further instructions.
“Come here,” he called you over as he stood at the foot of the bed, “Get on all fours, kid.”
You did as you were told, and his hand stroked up your back. Knowing he’d ask for it, you turned to meet his eyes before the request left his lips.
“Tiger, this is for you. I don’t need this but I understand why you do, and I want to give you what you need.”
You nodded.
“But once it’s done—it’s done. You’re forgiven, and we’ll both put this behind us, okay? Promise me.” He continued.
“Yes,” you agreed, “I promise.”
“You’re going to get 5 kid,” he explained, “Count them out loud. What do you say if you want me to stop?”
“Pineapple,” you said, and your heart was already tripling in beats. You could feel it there—the absolution you needed, the one you craved, right at your fingertips.
“Or?”
“Red,” you replied obediently. He nodded, pushing your top half further into the mattress before reaching for a pillow, placing the corner near your mouth. You looked back at him in confusion.
“To bite down on, if you need to,” he explained, “Ready?”
You nodded. Gritting your teeth, you waited—and when the first strike hit you, your mind went blank. It hurt, it stung a lot more than when he would do it for pleasure, but all you felt was….relief.
“One,” you counted out. The weight, that devastating weight that had been crushing you for days was suddenly….dissolving. Disappearing. His hand pulled back, landing another hard strike on the fleshy part of your ass and you inhaled sharply, melting more into the mattress. You felt all of it—the guilt, the disappointment, the heaviness of the last few days just dissipating, replaced with the sweet resolution that punishment brought. The absence of thought. The quietness of it all, and the lightness of finally feeling forgiven.
“Two,” you squeaked out through gritted teeth. He pulled back, landing another hard one and you gasped, biting into the pillow that he had put for you. The absence of that guilt was giving way to something else, something you hadn’t felt since before you wandered into that forest alone—it was giving way to arousal. To the thrill, the feeling of finally getting what you need from the person you needed it from, the freedom of it all.
“Count, tiger,” his loud order broke through your thoughts, when you failed to call out the following strike.
“Three,” it was a deep groan, pain mixed in with pleasure as you wound your hands in the sheets. It was building, deep in your gut. Coiling tightly as every bad feeling, every bit of anxiety you had struggled with gave way to something much more intense, much more pleasurable.
His hand retracted, landing the hardest one yet as you tensed. Your entire mind was blank, pulsating with nothing but the absolute absence of everything that had been crushing you for so long, the thrumming of pleasure building. He knew, and he marvelled at it—he could smell your arousal, see the sheen of it between your legs as he brought his hand down hard. He saw the blush creep down your back, felt your muscles tense as you writhed slightly before him, saw the way you inched your legs closer together.
“Four,” you mumbled. Somewhere in the midst of it all, you had started to cry. It wasn’t out of pain, but out of just…relief. Tears soaked the pillow and you winced, but the pain brought the peace that you knew it would. The peace that you needed, the pleasure you craved, the relief.
He pulled his hand back a final time, landing it with a resounding slap as your back arched.
“Five,” you breathed out, and then you were being gathered in his arms. 
“Good girl,” he murmured, “We’re done kid, we’re done.”
Wrapping you up in his embrace, he gently flipped you onto your back as you cried openly. He waited for your move, tried to see if you would reach for him or if you needed distance, but your hands immediately sought him out—grabbing at him until you had enough traction to pull him forward onto you.
“Bill,” you pleaded, grasping onto him as hard as you could, “Please…”
He knew what you needed, what you were asking for. He watched you as he glided his hand up your inner thigh, taking his time to gauge your reaction to make sure it was what you wanted, what you needed. You inhaled sharply when his fingers passed over you, stifling a moan as he ran them through your wetness, spreading you wide.
“Tiger, look at me,” he whispered as he kissed a few of your tears away. He ran his hand gently over your slit, pushing two fingers into you as you groaned. You opened your eyes to his.
“It’s done kid,” he pumped his fingers gently, “You’re forgiven.”
He crooked his fingers and you stifled a cry as he pressed them to the front of your walls, rubbing gentle circles. You were so wet, your arousal soaking his hand as he ground his palm into you. You were overwhelmed, every sense on fire—you could feel his fingers, long and slender, moving inside you. You could hear the obscene sound, wet and warm, as he moved his hand against you. You could smell him, feel his lips on your face, his warm breath on your cheek. You felt everything good, everything that had nothing to do with the emotions that had crushed you before.
“Bill…” you croaked, and he shushed you lightly.
“I know, sweet girl,” he praised. You cried out as his thumb found your clit, pressing down softly as his fingers continued to work you over.
“You did so well for me kid,” he purred, “You took it so well. And it’s done now. I forgive you.”
You sobbed as his fingers quickened just barely, hitting all the spots deep in you as you writhed. But you wanted more—you wanted to be greedy, ask for just a little bit more, to throw you over the edge.
“You can come for me, tiger,” he murmured as he kissed you, “Any time you need to.”
But you grit your teeth, tried to stave it off as you grabbed his hand between your legs to stay it.
“With you,” you begged, your voice cracking, “Please Bill, I want to come with you.”
His eyes flicked over you, his gaze intense and searching—but then he kissed you again, all tongue and teeth and passion, before gently removing his hand. You whimpered as he brought it to his lips, sucking both fingers into his mouth as he groaned at your taste. He raised up on his haunches, undoing his pants and shoving them to his knees before he made a move for you again, but you rested your hands on his chest.
“All of it, bud,” you pleaded, “Please, I need to feel as much of you as I can.”
You didn’t have to ask twice, he kicked his pants the rest of the way off and lifted a bit to pull his shirt over his head before he was reaching for you again. You kissed him hard, grabbing hold of his length and lining him up at your entrance as he pushed in slowly. Moaning, he grabbed your hand as he rested his forehead against yours.
“Tiger,” he moaned against your lips, “You’re forgiven.”
Your other hand raked down his back and he jerked forward, as your abdomen tightened in impending release.
“Yes,” you sighed against his mouth, keeping his gaze.
“Do you feel it now?” He whispered, “Is it more clear now?”
He kept his pace, his hips slowly rolling into you before dragging back in delicious friction, then pushing forward again.
“Yes,” you whimpered, closing your eyes for a brief second to capture his lips in a searing kiss.
“Say it,” he urged, sucking his breath in through his teeth when you clenched around him, “God you feel so good. Say it for me, kid.”
“You forgive me,” you cried, bringing a hand up to rake through his hair. His eyes stayed on you the entire time, green orbs bore into you as your muscles started to tighten, your breath started to hitch.
“Good girl,” he praised. He rolled his hips with a bit more force, burying himself deep inside you as you gasped. You tilted your chin up, shutting your eyes briefly as the pleasure slammed into you.
“Keep looking at me, tiger,” he pleaded, and with a gentle hand he brought your face back to his, “I want to see it, when you come for me.”
You whined, a pathetic whimper as you felt everything start to clench. You were so wet, so warm around him, and every time he pushed forward he rubbed further down on your clit. The pressure was building, your stomach tense and tight as everything started to go blank.
“Let go, sweet girl,” he coaxed, “Give it to me.”
And with your chin in his hand, his forehead on yours and your eyes locked with his, you let it slam into you. The white, hot flash of extreme pleasure, building for a few days and culminating in an intense release. It was emotions, it was physical, it was everything you had held way too deep inside for a few days. You cried out, clenching your teeth and eventually closing your eyes as you spasmed around him, surging forward. You bit into his shoulder to hold back a scream, your hand squeezing his as you let out a guttural groan when all of your muscles released. His own resonated in your ear soon after as he pitched forward, driving you hard into the mattress as his hips worked against yours. He moaned, his breath coming in rasps as he held onto your hand, the other one gripping the sheets. A few more thrusts, slow and lazy but deep enough to still have you pleasure drunk, and he collapsed breathless on top of you.
You laid there for a long moment, all of your limbs wrapped around him as tears flowed freely down your face. It was silent except for your cries, small sniffles and whimpers that you couldn’t control, as you buried your face in his chest.
“I love you, kid,” he murmured in your ear, “It’s done now. Yes?”
“Yes,” you nodded emphatically, kissing any part of him you could reach, “It’s done.”
He raised slightly, kissing first your ear, then peppering them along your jaw eventually resting his lips on yours for a soft kiss.
“You feel forgiven?” He asked.
“Yes,” you sighed, tilting up to kiss him again, “Yes.”
“Good,” he rested his forehead lightly against yours, stroking your cheek with his thumb. You reached your mouth for it, kissing it lightly and nipping the pad of it playfully. He laughed, pulling you into his chest as he rolled over onto his side. But then you remembered something, something you had wanted to ask him about, and your brow creased with confusion.
“Bill,” you started, his thumb still resting on your mouth and warbling your speech, “Before, you said that you…looked into this more. And that you understood it better now. What did you mean?”
His lips pursed thoughtfully as he contemplated his response.
“I just read up on some stuff,” he murmured.
“What stuff?” You prodded. He sighed.
“I just read up on…subs. Submissive dynamics,” he explained cautiously, “And what they need. How guilt and punishment comes into play, and why it’s sometimes necessary. For them to feel better.”
“Oh.” 
He eyed you carefully, tapping his thumb against your lips and you opened for it readily. You took a second, sucking on the pad of it and looking up at him.
“But…I’m not a sub,” you said, your words muffled as you sucked on it. A wry smile quirked up the tips of his mouth.
“Okay,” he acquiesced. You adjusted his thumb in your mouth, using your tongue to push it into your cheek as you glared at him.
“Bill, I’m not a sub,” you insisted. He nodded, his lips twitching as he fought to conceal a smile.
“Right,” he said, “You’re not a sub.”
Satisfied with his response even though it was slightly insincere, you moved forward to tuck your head under his chin as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Thank you, bud,” you mumbled. He kissed your head, stroking your back.
“I need to check you over kid,” he murmured, “Make sure you’re okay.”
“We have a lot of time,” you mumbled, your eyes getting heavy, “Right now, just keep holding me.”
His arms tightened around you, a hand weaving its way into your hair, as you finally exhaled for the first time in days.
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nazario-sayeed · 5 years ago
Text
Bare body, bare soul (Nik x F!MC; N*FW)
Author's note: Some of you are probably thinking "what? you already tagged me on this fic, are you going crazy?" or whatever. Here's the thing: I was stupid using my tags and tumblr took down my previous post as a punishment for me being a whore. Anyway, I noticed it yesterday and now I'm posting it again because I'm stubborn. How I always change some stuff when I edit on tumblr for the last time, this isn't exactly the same as my last one, but there aren't any major differences. English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes. I'm shitty at naming my fics, ignore that. Also I don't remember which gif I used last time, which is irrelevant so I don't know why I'm saying this.
Summary: In case there's someone new here, I wrote this fic after chapter 9 when we were cockblocked. It left me wanting more, so I decided to write what should've happened. The initial dialogue is basically the same. My mc's name is Brie. 
WC: around 5,100 (sorry) 
Rating: definitely +18 for explicit sexual content. Do not keep reading if you're not comfortable with this kind of writing. 
I don't have the tag list for that fic so I'm basically using my Jaime one, I'm sorry if I got anyone wrong (please let me know if you don't wanna be tagged): @nazariortega  @duchess-ash-flame  @lahelalove @poeticscolt @donutsgirl36 @queenkaneko @msjpuddleduck @quinnskelly @flyawayboo @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicesarehard @jlpplays1 @desiree-0816 @sibella-plays-choices
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When Nik starts stripping down to his underwear, Brie can't look away. She observes in awe the healed scars on his ripped torso, his muscular body under the soft candlelight... She feels her stomach do a funny flip inside of her, and a heat slowly spreads through her body despite of the cold air of the mansion. 
"Uh... Nik? Explain?" she says, trying really hard not to bite her lip at the sight of him exposed like that.
"Vulnerability magic, rook. Some of the most powerful kind there is. You want to see The Fate, you've gotta bare your soul" he explains.
"By stripping down to your skivvies? You sure this is lore and not wishful thinking?" Katherine questions him, raising an eyebrow.
"Summoning is all about symbolic gestures, Katy. Get with the program"
"I've got nothing to hide" Brie chipper says, already reaching behind her back to unzip her dress. "One ceremonial nudity, coming right up!" she lets her dress drop to the floor.
"That's the spirit!" Nik encourages her, trying not to stare as she undresses. Brie blushes a little under his gaze as they smile at each other.
They small talk as the group follows Nik's lead and strips down to their underwear. Brie catches a glimpse of everyone else, almost naked, and feels her face heating up. They form an incredibly attractive group, she can't deny it. She lets her eyes find Nik's frame, and can't help but notices the way the candlelight dances on his skin, lighting up every inch of his sculptured body. He catches her eyes before she can look away, and smirks.
"Like what you see, rook?" he teases her; she feels her whole body flushes with his commentary and the way his eyes are watching her right now, but she tries to play it cool.
"Hm? I don't know what you're talking about" she looks him up and down once again, letting her gaze drop on the only piece of clothing on his body, noticing the nice volume there. She licks her lips, imagining what's inside...
"Sure you don't" he smirks, before slowly scanning her body from head to toes, letting his gaze lingers a little longer on her breasts before turning away. Brie looks away, face red, and her gaze lands on Cal's bare form. She has seen him like that before, but she can't help but observe his large, strong body under the flattering light. He catches her eye and smiles, before hungrily scanning her body in a way that makes her feel like she is his next prey- and right now she kind of wishes she was.
Next to them, Nik notices the way they are looking at each other and his pulse quickens, a unsettling feeling cursing through his veins as he scowls and clenches his fists. He clears his throat to catch everyone's attention to the ritual, but mostly to stop whatever was going on between Cal and Brie.
After exposing themselves in more than one way in order to get help from The Fate, each of them goes to their own guest bedroom in the mansion, trying to escape the thoughts and emotions that their confession brought up. Every one of them is feeling overwhelmed and more vulnerable than they can remember, and the creepy air of the mansion doesn't help at all.  
Brie feels terrified even before closing the door. Even though Nik reassured her this is the safest place they could be in right now, she can't shake off the weird feeling. The shivers on her body are not from the insistent, loud wind, but from something that creeps her from the inside, and she knows she won't fall asleep.  She is feeling too lonely, exposed and guilty to sleep. 
Brie tries to think about anything other than the sounds that echo in her room, or that feeling on her spine that there's someone- or something- watching her even when she's alone. Absently, she lets her mind go back to the moment before they met The Fate.
She thinks about how that was the first time Nik ever looked vulnerable next to her, when he was talking about Elijah's death. How even though he is her bodyguard, in that moment she knew she would do anything to protect him. Her mind goes back to that brief moment when their eyes met after he had told the group about Elijah, and they both knew they were here for each other; one simple look could let her know- could let her feel- how deeply he cares about her- and she hoped he knew and felt it too.
Then, she reminisces about how his eyes went wild when she admitted she was in love with someone there. She didn't even know what she was going to say until the very moment when the words left her lips, and for the first time, she knew they were true. In so little time, she knew he had found a way into her heart- not easily entered after so many heartbreaks.
Tired of wishful thinking, Brie gets up in one movement and exits the room, letting her feet carry her to knock on Nik's door before she can think twice about what she's doing.
"Brie? Thought you were hitting the sack?" he seems surprised as he opens the door, but also amused; his lips curving up in a tiny smirk.
"Couldn't sleep. Looks like it's going around, huh?" she teases and he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. He can't help but think about the restless things he wants to do right now, and it doesn't help that she came to his door in the middle of the night.
"Sure does. Wanna come in for a nightcap? These digs are pretty swanky, I'll give the fate that" he invites her in, trying- and failing- to ignore all the inappropriate thoughts crossing his mind.
"I'd love that..." she says, and he can swear there are at least fifteen intentions on her tone.
Nik swings the door open, welcoming her in, and she slips by him, letting their arms brush lightly against each other, feeling her skin on fire with the brief touch.
"Home sweet home… for the moment, anyway. Can i get you a drink?" Nik asks.
"Yes, please! I'm dying to unwind a little"
"You can say that again. What a night, huh?" as he pours bourbon, he thinks about all the ways he wishes he could use to help her unwind right now. All of them involve her screaming his name. 
He hands her the bourbon and electricity sparks where her fingers brush against his for a second. They clink their glasses, smiling, and they both take a sip, enjoying the warm feeling settling on their bellies.
Nik walks over to the window frame, leaning against it. He lets his gaze find Brie for a long moment and she feels her whole body warming up; she tells herself it's the drink, but she knows it's not. He notices the light blush on her cheeks, and interrupts her thoughts with a question.
"So what do you think, about all this? That was a lot to take in..."
"Honestly? I don't know. I'm glad we have a name, that's huge, but now… It just…" she trails off.
"Feels more real, right? Even more unnerving than before, somehow?" he finishes her thought.
"Yes! That's it exactly" she admits. "I know it sounds weird but when The Fate said 'Cassiopeia', all I could think was, hey, that's a pretty name." Niks snorts at her comment, looking amused, but she continues with a sigh "Too pretty for someone who makes bloodwraiths and zombies. Ridiculous, right?" she asks him, feeling a bit embarrassed but also glad to be sharing this with someone, especially him.
"Nah. I get it. The mind's a tricky beast, alright" he says, as Brie moves to his side by the window and leans on her forearms, taking another sip and letting the wind smooth over her face. Their bodies are close now, too close. She can feel his heat next to her as the wind swipes over them.
"What about you? That thrice-cursed son stuff… What do you think she meant?" she asks, trying to distract her own mind. He shakes his head, his face transforming into a scowl.
"I can't be sure- I mean, who knows what all goes on in her head- but I think it means that the three people who loves me most in the world are dead" he bitterly admits, finishing his drink.
Her first instinct is to think "But you have me". She manages to hold it back, bitting her lips shut. 
"That's a terrible thing to call you" she thinks out loud.
"Not wrong though. I always make it out by the skin of my teeth, lucky me. The people who love me? Not so much" he furrows his brow and clenches his fist at the side of his body, letting the anger get to him.
"You make it sound like you're the curse…" she says, softly.
When he doesn't answer, she turns to Nik and cautiously wraps her arms around him. He stiffens for a moment, before pulling her closer.
"Sometimes... I feel like I'm as bad as the Reimonenq touch. And…" he admits, but she cuts him off.
"Don't say that, Nik. You've lost so much, and it's not your fault" she tells him, with a firm but gentle voice.
Nik sighs deeply, stirring Brie's hair, before he presses a warm kiss to the top of her head. She can feel her heart pounding inside her chest, and his too where her head lays on his chest.
She pulls back and looks at him, and he gives her a wry smile.
"...You promise?" he asks, his voice softer than she has ever heard him.
"Of course I do. I wouldn't even be standing here if it wasn't for you! And I bet I'm not the only one who owes you my life. You risk yourself every day, to keep other people safe. That's not a curse… That's a gift" Brie reassures him, trying to make him understand just how grateful she is and how deeply she cares about him.
The atmosphere between them becomes charged, electric with tension. Hesitantly, Nik reaches out and trails his knuckles gently down her cheek. She feels her breathing stop.
"I don't know what it is about you, Brie, I swear I don't, but you make me feel…" he trails off.
"What? What do I make you feel?" she insists. After gazing down at her for a few seconds, he continues:
"You make me feel like a real person"
She feels her chest bursting with affection and an indescribable need to protect him. In that moment, she doesn't care about anyone else. She's unable to look away from him, his face just inches from hers, the air between them charged with intensity.
Brie leans forward, her breath quickening. The time seems to stop while their lips come closer slowly, until the gravity is just too much and they crash against each other. 
Nik sighs wordlessly against her lips, seeming overwhelmed at first, then he pulls Brie hard against him, one hand clutching the back of her neck.
"Nik..." she moans against him, feeling the desire taking over her body and pooling by her stomach.
"You taste so good, Brie" he breathes into her mouth, and she gasps.
He trails searing kisses down her neck, all the way to the hollow of her throat, and she shudders as he runs his tongue over the sensitive skin.
"I've been thinking about this for so long..." he admits.
"Me too… Please don't stop..." Brie begs him, as she remembers the kisses they've shared before this one. Neither of them came even close to the way their mouths fervidly explore each other now. Neither of them made her longing for more like this. The kiss, which began slow and soft, quickly heats up and they don't seem to be able to get enough of each other.
Nik tugs her clothes over her head, then pulls off his own. Brie runs her palms down his sculpted chest, now face to face with the scars she was admiring earlier. She wants to kiss each one of them, learn their stories, protect him from getting any new ones. He draws a ragged breath under her light touch and pulls back to look at her.
"You're gorgeous, Brie. So damn perfect" he breathes, before guiding her onto the huge bed and pulling her next to him. He captures her mouth in another long, lingering kiss as she drags her fingers through his hair...
"Nik… I-" she moans, but a furious, icy gale from the window washes over both of them, interrupting her.
"Oh, that is chilly" Brie says, a shiver running down her body. Nik quickly gets up from the bed and closes the window with more strength than necessary, making sure it won't open again. When he turns back to her, his expression is changed and it sends a tingle down her spine, almost like a warning. 
“I don’t care what happens. Wind, rain… This whole goddamn place could go up in flames and I wouldn’t give a fuck. I need you, Brie. Ever since I saw you in your underwear earlier, I couldn’t stop thinking about ripping it off your body”. Her breath catches in her throat at his bold statement, and she can already feel her arousal pooling between her legs. She watches as he walks over to where she is laying on the bed, while he looks at her like he's about to devour her. She hopes he is.
He lays on top of her and pins her hands on each side of her face, looking down, his eyes darkened with hunger.
“Nik… I have wanted you since the moment I saw you. Take me. I’m yours.” she breathes, and he smirks almost wickedly. His faces lights up a fire inside of her, one that she hasn’t felt in a long time. Nik has never seemed so protective of her, and so ready to deliciously destroy her.
“You’re mine, rook? Then why the hell you kept looking at the wolfman today? Or do you think I didn’t see it?” he lets go of her wrists and sits up next to her, flipping her onto her stomach with one easy, swift movement, making her gasp. "You think I didn't notice the way he was practically eating you with his eyes? Like you were his next prey..." She doesn’t even have time time to answer as he pulls her to sit up on her knees in front of him, standing behind her, his chest to her back "You think I didn't notice that you were enjoying it?".
Nik runs one calloused hand up the front of her body, over her stomach, chest, stopping at her chin, as he strains her arms between them with the other. He lets go of her chin and grabs her hair, pulling her head back roughly. She lets out a moan while his mouth moves next to her ear.
“Tell me, rook. Are you thinking about the wolfman now?” he presses himself against her back, letting her feel how hard his desire for her is. She moans with need again and closes her eyes, incapable of thinking clearly, intoxicated by the feeling of him. She never thought Nik could be so animalistic, and she's loving it; her whole body needs him.
“I- I… Oh, Nik”
“That’s right, Brie. It’s my name you’ll be moaning- no, screaming tonight. When I’m done with you, you won’t even remember who the werewolf is” he says, and brutally pushes her on all fours on the bed, making her gasp with pleasure and surprise.
Nik runs his hand down her back, earning shivers from her body. She can feel the heat from his body behind her, and the thought of him taking control like that is driving her absolutely mad with lust.
He reaches her soaked panties and pushes them to the side, running his fingers along her sex. Brie is already grasping at the sheets, trying to get some kind of control over her own body. He plunges two fingers inside without warning, and she yelps. Nik lower his body so his mouth is against her ear.
"The way you're soaked right now… Whenever you're starring at shirtless Cal, I hope you remember I am the one who made you feel like that, rook." he bites her earlobe and increases his speed, hitting that spot with every plunge.
Brie is incapable of forming coherent words right now. She is so high on the pleasure he is giving her, and she prays she'll never feel low again. Brie can feel her legs shaking, getting closer and closer with every movement of his hands. When she is almost there, her whole body writhing with desire, he removes his fingers and she immediately misses them, letting out a groan of frustration that amuses Nik.
"Not yet, Brie. Be patient. I'm nowhere near done with you" he says, and flips her onto her back, hovering over her body. He leans in to kiss her passionately, his hands exploring the sides of her body as she pulls him impossibly close by the neck. Brie wraps her legs around his waist grinding on him, trying to feel any kind of friction between her legs, desperate for relieve.
Nik begins to descend his mouth on her body, sucking at her neck in a way they both know will leave a mark. That's what he wants: to let everyone else know she is his, that she spent the night giving herself to him and him only. Nik wants to wake up tomorrow and let the wolfman smell him all over Brie's body.
His mouth founds her chest and she arches her back as he reaches out behind her to unclasp her bra. He quickly takes it off her body and tosses it across the room, pulling back to admire her curves.
"God, Brie… You're breathtaking. No fucking wonder everyone else in that room couldn't take their eyes off you." her cheeks blush a little at the way he is devouring her with his eyes, and she can feel every inch of her body responding to him: her heart is pounding, her breath is quickened, and it feels like her skin is on fire.
"But I am here, Nik. I came to your room." Brie reaches out to touch his cheek gently and he once more crashes his lips into hers. He quickly moves his mouth to her neck and collarbone, nipping and not-so-gently biting his way down, until he is licking the valley between her breasts, while his hands run up her sides, stopping at the curve of her chest. He takes one nipple in his mouth, while works on the other with his fingers. His mouth and hand work together, licking, flicking, pinching until she is crying out, grasping his hair. He moves one hand inside her panties and she feels like she is going to pass out with pleasure as he nips the flesh of her sensitive nub with his teeth.
Nik lets go of her breasts and moves his head lower, trailing a path of kisses down her stomach, until he finally reaches the waistband of her underwear. Before taking it off, he kisses her above the damp fabric.
"God, Nik. Please, stop teasing… I need you" she moans, craving release. He smirks at her and pulls her underwear down her legs, leaving her completely naked on his bed.
"You have no idea of how long I've wanted to have you like that, Brie. No clothes, in my bed, at my mercy." he says, running his fingers through her body. His eyes are dark, full of yearning, lust at its most natural state.
"And now that you have me, what will you do?" she asks, almost daring him to answer.
He responds by lowering his mouth into her sex, making her moan instantly. She throws her head back and grabs his hair with one hand and the sheets with the other.
He's been teasing her for a while now, so when his mouth connects with her body, she's already close. He devours her expertly, like he has been starving and she is the most delicious meal in the world. At that moment, he can't think of anything that tastes better than her.
Nik works his mouth and tongue on her, and with every flick of his tongue he can sense the pleasure building inside her. He inserts a finger, then two into her core, making her moans grow louder. She bucks her hips against his mouth and fingers, trying to feel him closer as possible. He pulls back and she almost screams in irritation.
"You want more, rook?" he asks, still working his fingers, but slowly, barely enough to keep her on the edge.
"Yes, Nik. I want more- I need more" she whimpers, eyes closed with need.
"I wanna see you beg" his voice is a low growl, and it turns her on even more.
"Please, please, please… Nik, oh god, I need you..." the beg leaving her sinful lips is like music to his ears. He dives back in.
His mouth once again finds her center, and he wastes no time sucking her clit into his mouth, thrusting his fingers harder and faster. She cries out, arching her back, and it only takes one more flick of his tongue for her to fall apart around him in pure bliss, the feeling so strong she is sure she has reached heaven. She doesn't even notice she is screaming his name. He doesn't let go until every single drop of ecstasy has left her body, until she's ridden every wave of her orgasm. Her legs are shaking and she's covered in sweat, panting, trying to pull herself together, but never again wanting to come back down from the high. 
His mouth finds its way back to her lips, capturing them in a passionate kiss while she recovers.
"Can you taste how delicious you are, rook?" he asks, pulling back with a smirk to admire her flushed face.
"Right now, I would rather taste you" she admits, and he growls. Nik captures her lips again, wrapping his arms around her and flipping their position, getting her to straddle his hips. His hands find her ass quickly, and he gives it a small slap before squeezing it. Brie begins to run her hands down his muscular torso, enjoying the feeling of his ripped abs underneath her fingertips. She reaches the waistband of his underwear, still kissing his mouth, and lets her hand drop lower, caressing him over the fabric. He bites her lower lip and digs his nails on the flesh of her hips as she squeezes him, making him moan into her mouth.
Brie lets go of his lips to kiss his stubble jaw, then his neck and the spot right below his ear. Nik reaches her hair and wraps it around his hand, applying a bit of pressure on his hold. She begins to trail kisses down his chest and abs, taking her time kissing his strong frame, covering every scar on his torso with her lips. Unlike him, she takes no time teasing him when she reaches his waistband, quickly rolling his underwear down his legs and off his body. She runs her fingers through his strong thighs, kissing it, licking it all the way up to his groin.
When she finally reaches his shaft, she gives it a few slow strokes and runs her thumb in circles on its tip, as Nik's breath quickens. She gives it a tiny kiss, still running her fingers up and down, before taking him into her mouth.
"Christ, Brie..." he moans, holding her hair while she expertly uses her mouth and tongue on him; kissing, sucking and licking the exact spots she knows will drive him mad. As she swirls her tongue around his head, he grips her hair tighter and pulls her up "Are you trying to make me lose my mind, rook?".
She smirks at him, but it quickly fades as he roughly pulls her by the hair to his mouth, kissing her hard. He moves his head to her neck and sucks it before releasing her.
"Get on all fours" he commands, and she is too turned on to deny him anything. She gets on her knees and forearms, facing away from him, and she looks over her shoulder to see him going through his pants and reaching its pocket for his wallet, pulling out a condom.
While he fumbles with his pants and catches her looking over her shoulder at him, Nik thinks about how lucky he is. Brie could knock on anyone's room today and they would happily let her in; they all wished to be in his place right now, and there she was: on all fours on his bed, her glistening core waiting and wanting him.
He positions himself behind her, between her legs after rolling down the condom, and guides himself until his tip is touching her folds. He gives her ass a playful smack, and the sound she lets out makes him even more turned on, so he does it again, harder this time, earning a louder moan from her lips. She holds her breath with anticipation while he runs his tip up and down her entrance, teasing her. She lets out a frustrated groan after a few seconds.
"God, Nik, aren't you tired of teasing me? Just fuck me alr- ohh!" her complain is interrupted by a moan as he enters her with one hasty movement.  
"You were saying?" he teases, as he grabs her hips and thrusts hard into her, quickly creating a rhythm.
He doesn't hold back. He uses one hand to hold her hip as the other wraps around the hair on her neck and pulls her head back, making her moan loudly. He swears that the feeling of her walls around him is the most exquisite thing he has ever experienced.
Nik isn't one for second dates, he has never been jealous before, but Brie managed to wake feelings and sensations he never knew existed. He feels so protective of her, and it shows in his movements, as he tries to claim her as only his. He pulls her hip impossibly closer, hitting even deeper inside her, making an animalistic grunt leave her mouth.
"That's it, Brie. Louder. I wanna hear you scream my name so loud this whole damn fancy house knows I am the one making you lose control like that." he says, giving her all of him, driving deeper and harder with every slam of his hips, and she does exactly as he tells. The sensation of Nik filling her up is so overwhelming that she has no choice but to scream, trying to let out some of these feelings.
"Nik, oh god, harder!" she begs, not even realising what she is asking for, not even sure she can take more. Right now, he hits the perfect balance between pain and pleasure with every thrust. She has never felt so filled before, she has never been fucked like that before and she knows that now she has tried it, there’s no going back. He delivers harder, his nails so deep inside the flesh of her hips they are breaking the skin, but neither of them seem to notice or care. Tears of pleasure mixed with pain glisten in the corner of her eyes, and she is holding onto the sheets like it’s life itself. "Nik, I'm so close!" she moans, trying to breathe.
Hearing his name being screamed by her lustful lips makes Nik bucks his hips forward in a way that hits her most sensitive spot, and she comes apart around him, screaming his name so loud that he is sure she’s heard all across The Fate's mansion. Her walls clench around his length but he doesn't slow down, feeling his own release coming close. Brie is too worn out to react, so she just stays in front of him, moaning and crying out his name as he fucks her senseless. She squeezes him inside of her, and he feels the electricity beginning to rise in his body. "Brie, I'm close" he cries out, never stopping neither slowing down.
Catching him by surprise, Brie removes herself from his hold and quickly turns around, facing him. Nik is too surprised to react before she kneels in front of him, pulling the condom off him and taking him into her mouth once more. At the moment when she wraps her mouth around him, Nik’s head falls back and he lets out a groan. More gentle then he has been the whole night, he holds her hair back as she works on him. As he feels his ecstasy approaching, he tries to pull her head back, but she doesn't let him, working even harder. He has no other option but to spill inside her mouth as pleasure washes over him, and he moans her name for only her to hear.
Brie licks him clean and moves up, they both kneeling on the bed, facing each other. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and he thinks it's the sexiest thing he's ever seen. They lock eyes and smile before he pulls her by the waist for a delicate kiss.
Her body is covered in bruises, her hair is a mess, and they both are covered in sweat, but they also have that unique face of someone who has just reached the peak of pleasure and satisfaction. 
“Do you think The Fate will me mad at us?” Brie teases, as they crawl under the covers. He snorts and pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her and letting she rest her head on his shoulder.
“I dunno, rook. And I don’t care” Nik says, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“Me neither. Even if she does, it was worth it. Sooooo worth it” she says with a wide smile, kissing his chest. He absently runs his hand through her hair, smiling.
The way he’s feeling right now, not only completely satisfied but also safe, tells him he is in trouble. A lot of trouble. Looking down at Brie, comfortably snuggled with him, he feels his heart skips a beat and he can’t help but smile, but it quickly fades as he thinks about what usually happens to those who get close to him.
“Yeah, it was. Sleep tight, Brie”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure I will…” she teases again, her eyes already closing as she drifts off to a peaceful sleep, and follows her, never wanting to let her go again.
What has she done to him?
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changji · 5 years ago
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Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me
Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right
Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh
Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺
Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??
It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴
Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL
I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌
YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔
Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack ����😪
I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)
Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?
I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?
Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)
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i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪
tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤
pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪
it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL
go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??
snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.
u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪
dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce
UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH
i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity
I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.
my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧
well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month
i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life
the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh
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dearlytea · 6 years ago
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This was a message I sent a few months ago to a friend when I just made my Tumblr account. The question she asked me was “Do you expect to get any followers on Tumblr? Or meet anyone there?”
Of course I didn’t believe her and thought I wouldn’t do shit here.... Yet here we are today celebrating my birthday/first milestone on this blog. Wow, never knew my 69th birthday would involve Tumblr... 
I’ve learned a lot during my time here, and it’s still scary to believe that I was one decision away from not meeting all the friends I adore now. Besides learning how to use this god garbage website I was also able to learn a lot more about myself from all of the mutuals I’ve met here. How? Cause I was able to connect with many people and be myself without feeling the need to cover up the parts of me that I thought were ugly.  Although, I know this is only the beginning of my time here, but it’s still a huge milestone for someone with low expectations to begin with. 
So in all thank you to all of my lovely mutuals/friends. Whether we talk on a daily basis or not I love each and every one of you, and I hope for the mutuals that I’m silent with that one day we can start chatting and get to know each other better (although you might have to be the one to message first cause my ass is still anxious as F U C C)
Anyways yeah... I love all of you dearly
KNEE SLAP
Edit: Apparently some people didn’t get the notification for the tag? Fuck you Tumblr So I had to go over the names again just to be sure... Sorry if you got another notification or something! zzzz
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Legend
♔ = Special babies  →  (Look for your special little message)
❥ = My baby mutuals  → ilysm bls don’t think i don’t cause I actually do but I’m shit at showing my feelings sometimes and I’m bad at messaging. Don’t ever doubt that you bummies :((((((
☼ = Silent/New Mutuals  →  We don’t talk/interact that much but I still appreciate your existence and love you, thank you for being here. Maybe when I’m not a anxious HOE i’ll message you
Bold = Content Creator  →  YOU TALENTED LITTLE BEAN. GOD FUCKING GAVE YOU THE SKILLS OF A GODDESS/GOD AND YALL ARE BLESSED ASF
I love you all bls don’t think that I love you less because of where you are on this post asiojdoasijd that’s not my intentions and I don’t mean to hurt you :((((( 
(There is no solid order with how people are being added, I’m just going through my Following & Followers list)
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@champagnehoseok @koalajimin  @gukvenchy  @agustdabbing @knjddaeng @tinymintyoon @94hixtape​
@gukyi  @guksheart  @introseesaw @kinktae​ @httpjeon @honeyyhobii @sapidsuga @cloutro @yeehawtaekook @minlucent @joonbuns @honeyyhobii @simplyjoon @equigay @seoksblackrose @kitsujoon @rohobi @namseokis @lovewyself @taewitched  @etherealmins
@utopiajeon  @hobiwonka @starlightjoons @louvrescript @ggukhoneys @yourstrxxly @bymoonchild@blushoseoks@iliveforjungkookmemes @moonm0chi @jeonpetals​
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@champagnehoseok: You little donk. I have a love/hate relationship with you, you wanna know why? caUSE ALL YOU DO IS ATTACK ME. I’m trying to live life here and you’ll send me a gif and then I’m (hot and) bothered. Though tbh without you I’ve wouldn’t of been able to leave my shell of shyness. You and your “DEARLLLYYYYYY” in group voice chats and scaring my ass to death smh. Despite being an extreme introvert I do enjoy talking/playing league with you (even though all we do is scream) So don’t take my short response as a “I’m annoyed with you” cause that’s not the case, I’m just an EXTREME INTROVERT. In all thanks for being the donk to my dink, never stop walking, always keep going alright? (this is the softest message you’ll get from me so LOVE IT)
@koalajimin: Morgan bby :((( You are my Libra sister and we relate to each other so much it’s quite unreal. Thanks for letting me scream and rant to you about stuff, it means a lot cause I know I’m a lot to deal with iojasoidjposa. I love how sweet you are :((( You’re the type of friend to go through a huge crowd of people just to make sure someone you care about is okay which is so admirable and I hope you know we don’t deserve your sweetness :((( It’s all too precious. If you ever need my “wise” advice or need someone to rant to just hmu okay? ilysm uwu (also BLS DRINK RESPONSIBLY)
@gukvenchy: Yara you sweet angel :((( Idk if I told you this before but that one night I randomly pour out my love to you on your old account was the first time I’ve went off anon to talk to you and I’m so glad I did cause it made me feel less anxious about sending asks and messages to you. Actually tbh you’ve helped me out a lot when it comes to gaining confidence in general. You probably never realize it but in little ways you do and I’m so glad we are mutuals because I would still be a shy shithead today :(( So thank you for being such a sweet pea and accept the fucking mess I am, ilysm you teasing Queen (I WILL NOT BIAS A BOY WHO POURS MILK INTO THE BOWL FIRST (I still love him but not enough to make him my bias)
@agustdabbing: Ahhh you probably didn’t expect a special message eh? Wrong. I love our late night convos about food, school and other things that I can’t remember cause they were so late at night aisjdijsad. You’ve found me in the rec blog side bar and it honestly shocked me that you wanted to follow or even message me. Like seriously??? I still don’t get why you want to asidjpais but in all I’m happy you got the courage to message me and grateful that you enjoy my random burst of convo starters. If you ever need anything hmu okay? Don’t be afraid to. I will always be here for late night convos about avocados, pastas, stupid things CUBE did and etc. Bless ya soul sweet child uwu
@knjddaeng: BABYYYYCHRSISSAIOJT My sweet tarot reading buddy. I love your curly hair adorable ass. Thanks for being honest, sweet, understanding and caring when I come to you for advice. You know how reserved I am, but despite that I always feel so safe when talking to you about my problems cause you understand why I think what I think and do what I do. In all I’m so grateful that you’re understanding of my messy brain and love me for me. Thanks for all the things you’ve done and I wish well for you :(( Know that if you are ever sad I will fucking send a spirit to comfort you asoidjaoid I WILL FIND A WAY DON’T YOU JOHNNY FUCKING TEST ME
@tinymintyoon: Ah Tiny, you sweet sweet child uwu I don’t know why but I just always have this like “You’re my little sister” vibe with you even though we aren’t that far in ages. You’re such a smart, beautiful and hard working girl and I have so much respect for that. You do things with consideration of others and it’s such a rare sight to see nowadays so please don’t ever forget that. I know at times you will feel down and have the itching feeling to slap yourself for not being good enough but trust me hunny, you’re doing great. Don’t beat yourself up too much okay? ilysm uwu please sleep appropriately so you don’t tire yourself out and hurt yourself :((( also THANK YOU FOR BETA READING SOME OF MY TRASH WORKS ASJDIKJ YOU ARE THE BEST AND I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT YOU PUT INTO THEM
@94hixtape​: Lu, you are such a sweetie and I know we recently started talking but I can’t just leave you out on this. When you messaged me for the first time saying you’ve been meaning to message for a while made me so soft like???? You wanted to message ME? And see if I WAS okay??? You are a sweet angel and it still makes me flop onto my bed all soft. Despite your shy character you still would do so much for your friends and :((( ugh that makes me soft. Please don’t be afraid to message me if you’re sad or in need to rant, your presence is god’s gift in this world and you should be happy : ‘)))) ILYSM 
I’m sorry that all of these messages are GROSS jsandoaijsdo
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bomberqueen17 · 6 years ago
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cracky fic premise free to a good home
i did this in the wrong order, i posted it to DW when i should have just put it here where the possibly two people in the entire world who would care, who are not people I know, could find it in the tags. not that tag search works on tumblr. not that tumblr works anymore. but anyway! i’ll repost this and then manually delete the crosspost when it comes through, lol.
There is literally no one in the world besides me who will ever want to either read or write this story, but I definitely want to read it way more than I want to write it, and I'm busy, so. All anyone's getting is this entry, probably. This was prompted by watching a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode. The guys were in London, in a supposedly-haunted old tavern, and at one point they went down into a cellar, and there was a trapdoor in the cellar floor that led to an underground river that used to flood that room on the regular until some engineering feat diverted it somehow, and the basement of the tavern had these cells in some of the rooms, and there used to be horrifying ancient jails on either side of the tavern and so there were theories that the cellars used to connect to one or the other of the prisons, and well, it made me think of Death of the Necromancer, and the terrifying ruins in the sewers, and how it opens with Valiarde and his gang trying to rob a safe in the basement of an old Great House only to find that the corridor into the cellars of a long-ago torn-down Great House next door is infested with ghouls, and... Listen, ok, there's got to be a way to cross over Buzzfeed Unsolved and Death of the Necromancer, somehow. Can you imagine? A pair of idiot fucking Americans heavily laden with stupid fucking camera gear and a "spirit box" wandering into a haunted Rienish sewer and Ryan is doing that face he makes where his eyes become huge and his mouth disappears, and Shane is like "this smells fucking awful, come on ghouls, kill me so I don't have to smell this anymore" and then Constance fucking Macob comes lurking out of the depths and Arisilde out of his mind on opium with his white hair all standing on end straight-up apparates through a wall and is like "oh no gentlemen, this won't do at all," and Ryan just starts screaming and won't stop, and Shane is like "well there's probably a reasonable explanation for all of this, I just don't know what it is," and Nicholas Valiarde has put his false moustache back on and is pretending to be a cop so he can hustle them out of there so these innocent idiots don't get caught in the middle of the necromancy shit, and Ryan is still just giving out this one unrelenting long scream and Shane is like "okay the real unsolved mystery is how he doesn't need to breathe" and Madeleine is grimly loading her muff pistol so she can shoot Ryan to make him stop making that noise and only Madele stepping up and rendering him unconscious with her thumb to the middle of his forehead saves them all, and Shane is like "hey wait what's that hulking thing, is that a person or what" and then Arisilde obliterates Macob in a flash of pure white light and Shane's like "aw your camera flash scared that guy off, weird" and when Ryan wakes up Shane's just like "I dunno man but the look on your face was pretty great" (ooh edited to add: then they review the tape and they can't tell what's going on because mostly the audio recording is Ryan unrelentingly screaming, and then Madele's power cuts all the equipment out and Shane's like "yeah but we can't be sure it wasn't the batteries" and Ryan's like IT WAS GHOSTS and Shane's like "how would you know???" and it remains... Unsolved.) Yeah I dunno where Ronsarde and Halle are either, I'm just getting an early start on February shitposting I guess.
(original post here)
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whitetrashjj · 6 years ago
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Lara’s birthday mutual appreciation rant
Anyway as of 50 minutes ago, it’s my birthday and I’ve been playing tennis all day so naturally, I’m drunk.  
So feeling the love and affection right now, I thought why not show some appreciation to all my mutuals who are amazing and I love. 
there is a good chance I’ll regret this when I’m sober but lets take that gamble
Let’s start with a blanket statement, which is how happy even having mutuals makes me. Things from seeing my mutuals on my dash to seeing my posts on my dash and even just seeing that little *reblogged from* you thing makes me smile. Every time any of you say my name in your tags, it just remind me that you are real people and that I am real and some how I am connected to all these amazing people from around the world. i don’t even care if sometimes you have to check my description to remember my name
Having an outlet where I can share my thoughts and feelings on these stupid things I get obsessed with is amazing, and the fact that even one of you would listen to my stupid rants means the most to. I honestly think this is something we take for granted and some times we focus to much on the negative but tonight we are sharing the love, because we need more of that in this world. 
In all honesty I don’t talk to many of you, and the ones that I do it’s only been once or twice. Please don’t take this the wrong way, mostly I think that I’m not that interesting, so why would you want to talk to me ? If I ever drop out of a conversation randomly it’s because I think I’m boring you and I don’t want to bother you even if you messaged me first . If I never message you first I promise it’s not because I don’t want to talk, but more my brain tells me you only wanted to talk once about that specific topic and then never wanted to interact again. But I promise if you want to talk to me, I’m always game.
That fact that you all continue to follow me and support me even when i’m posting and talking shit, or go through phases of shows that you don’t watch, or post about characters or ship that you don’t like, or sometimes actively hate (*cough*murven*cough*), really does mean alot in this small little world and i want to thank all of you for it... 
Now onto some specifics... in no particular order 
@clarkegriffintitties - i followed you because of you’re url because eternal mood, lets be real. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you this before, another drunk lara declaration, but not a single regret because you are officially my #1 crush, according to Tumblr. So keep doing your thang boo !
@eizagonzalezs - oh meg, a fellow cora hale stan. the literal reason I started watching the 100, you know back in the day when i thought they were canon and their names were the other way around. and ofcourse one of my murvensource gals. follow forever and eternal devotion !
@madigriffen - my other murvensource gal! i’m eternal grateful for you kat because I no longer feel like I’m single handedly coming out with murven content! im both shocked and impressed how quickly you have gained followers, but not at all surprised because you deserve every single on of them.
@blarke - maggie. you gave me this url. and that should be enough to express how much i appreciate you. but it’s not. you love for the boys from my old url, gendry and bell will always be remembered. and i wish you came and talked to me sooner because i honestly can’t remember what it’s like not to follow you, they must have been dark times. ALSO when I was stalking your about page when i first followed you i noticed our birthdays were one day apart, same year and all (different time zones but whatever) and that really excited me, so happy late birthday and hope you’re pumped for your 20′s!
@clarkebell - without a doubt one of my favourite mutuals. can i say, even though you seem like the sweetest most approachable people you intimidate the hell out of me. because you are pretty af, seem so cool and are all around just amazing. also i always love a fellow aussie, you are a blues supporter but i guess i can let that slide 
@starboybellamy - i feel the thing i will always associate with you is the ‘my husband doesn’t understand the meaning of fucking hurry’ text post because it was the most unintentionally blarke thing ever. i always live for you’re bfsn, partly because you’re usually drinking and/or drunk and i respect that, mainly because you are gorgeous ..
@bellofthesky - i followed you because tumblr wouldn’t stop recommending you’re blog. and for once they got something right! despite me not having followed you for very long (5th most recent follow) you are one of my top 9 tumblr crushes. basically, i feel you’re content boo so keep it up xx
@bellarkes-hope - how long have we been mutuals? about a month. how long have i thought we’ve been mutuals? like all year. not much to say other than i dropped the ball, I've corrected that mistake and i’m now out here living my best life will you on my dash
@bb-8 - have i watched a single star wars movie? nope. did i squeal with excitement for you when you got this url? of-fucking-course! cody, you are the queen of icons and an amazing person. and anyone who loves anne bonny as much as i do will always be loved and respected in this house
@sanssa - a multifandom blog that is actually consistently multifandom? sorcery or just an icon? maybe both. Kyra, i feel like you were out there giving me love and supporting me back when i barely had any mutuals and for that you will always have a special place in my heart. i will admit i lost you for a minute there with url changes but i found you again of course you just moved to a different sansa stark url 
@blueshirtbell - Isla you are probably the person who uses my name in the tags the most often and every time it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. also you’re comments on my bfsn are always so sweet and make me smile. you truely are a great person and i feel like everyone in you’re life is better off for it
@bellamynochillblake - you’re ship and let ship attitude is truly an inspiration, and lets be honest a massive relief at times when this fandom can become a negative mess! 
@jarleene - as the author of some of my fave murven fics you will always deserve a special mention. when i saw you updated crazy recently i couldn’t stop smiling. that fic has been a slow process but worth every wait, i couldn’t care less if it ever gets finished because even having any of it is truly a gift!
@hvitserkk - desirae, you followed me soon after i followed you. why? i’ll never know. but you’re url alone is enough reason to love you. in this brief time i’ve already learnt so much from you about colourings and you are always my first stop to learn more! and eternal thank yous for getting me onto animal kingdom
@lieutenantshaw - im? not? worthy? im not sure why i feel this way.. maybe it’s the amazing edits or the whole aesthetic or maybe that your whole blog seems well thought out and clean and i feel like you looking at my blog would kinda be like that ‘damn bitch you live like this?’ picture.. do you feel like you’re blog is like that ? idk,, but if you are happy following me you do you cause it makes me feel good :)
the rest of my mutals - not because i love you less or don’t have anything to say about you but simply because i’m coming down, i’m tired and lazy as all fuck.
if you want a paragraph about why you are amazing swing into my ask box because i guarantee you I’ve got one ;)
@bellammy @p-tonkins @halfbloodduchess @the-most-beautiful-broom @octannibal-blake @failing-at-being-an-angel @diyozaa @niylvh @blakes-griffin @joncthanmurphy @johnmurphe @pandalandalopalis @izzycheeese @grumpymonty @tracylorde @bellamyblakesass @clarkesgrfin @a-timely-interruption @clorkegriffin @platonic-bellarke @abugonahotplate @smoakedvigilanties @beelarkes @inajohncriminalway @kaymarie195 @vixiously @otakujess @harpersmcintyred @the100lunarsship @vulgarvixen4 @head-and-heart @the-ships-to-rule-them-all @deadshotbellamy @fuckitforgendry @spaaleb 
a few things before i go to bed..
if you read your paragraph and gone ‘damn girl that aint me’, so sorry i am drunk and easily confused 
if i have tagged you and you are no longer/never was a mutual, many apologies and best of luck in your future endeavours
if you don’t like this feel free to completely ignore it, i wont mind :)
much love, drunk lara x
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knjsplaylist · 7 years ago
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I've seen many people openly speak about jungkook's sexuality, and I just want to know what your thoughts are. Do you doubt that he's completely straight either or that he could be gay?
First of all, the standard, yet completely necessary disclaimer: The following are purely my subjective thoughts about Jungkook derived from my personal perception of him and his situation. His sexuality might be completely different in reality and there is no way for us to actually know anything about it unless Jungkook himself tells us. 
Another thing I might as well mention right away is that this post contains strong elements of jikook. I wouldn’t really know how to make a post about this without at least mentioning Jimin in relation to Jungkook. 
If that doesn’t suit your fancy then maybe don’t read this.
Also, this is basically just rambles and my own opionon. Other people have already covered this topic so this is just a bunch of extra stuff that doesn’t really matter… I’m really selling this aren’t I?
Sorry about that, anon, and hello. Before I answer your question, I’m gonna have to tackle a little thing in your ask that bothers me; how you wrote it.
I don’t think you should be asking “do you doubt that he’s completely straight” or do you believe he “could be gay”.
Just by writing it like that you’re kind of assuming his sexuality right away. There’s nothing to say that Jungkook is straight at all except society and ingrained heteronormativity. And we can’t doubt something if we’ve got no reason to believe it to begin with (e.i. that Jungkook is straight). Jungkook could most definitely be gay. He could also be bi, pan, asexual, demi, poly, etc. Let’s try not to assume before we even start to speculate. But before you feel bad, I’m not upset with you personally as I don’t think you meant for the ask to come across like it did. However, heteronormativity is something society as a whole is struggling to be rid off or at least something it should struggle to be rid off and it’s important that we don’t let stuff like this slide. We just have to stay aware of the fact that we’ve been socialized in a heteronormative society, and be willing to recognize and learn from the mistakes we make because of it.
Now that that’s over and done with… I’m going to have to talk a bit more about assuming sexualities or people will definitely call me a hypocrite.
There’s a lot of talk about assuming people’s sexuality on Tumblr and while that’s all well and good, I also think people often mistakenly call what actually isn’t assuming sexuality, assuming sexuality. 
Assuming sexuality is something problematic and generally happens because of harmful ideas like, you guessed it, heteronormativity. People are quick to call others out about assuming sexuality when that’s not really what they’re doing; there’s a difference between assuming the sexuality of a person because of a supposed normal, and looking at a specific person and deciding on your own that he/she/they, in your eyes, probably has a certain sexuality. People need to be allowed to make up their own minds about how they view and think about other people because frankly, that’s just how people function. We can’t change that and we don’t need to. We just need to be aware of the fact that we can’t know other people’s sexualities unless they let us know, be respectful, not force our thoughts or ideas on the people we’re speculating about, and support them whatever sexuality they do or do not come out as. Please correct me if you think I’m wrong about this because I’m not completely sure myself.
Alright, now we can get into it.
I’ve reblogged a few posts that speculate about Jungkook’s sexuality and all of those are, at least in my opinion, worthy of consideration and, as another sort of disclaimer, I have to say that they’ve probably affected the way I think about it a lot. You might also want to keep in mind that I am still a pretty new ARMY and have only been exposed to about three months of Jeon Jeongguk (and a whole lot of past him of course). So, while I still barely know him not that I ever will, I know for sure that I, subjectively, think he’s attracted to men. I’m not going to give you a bunch of examples of why because other people have already done that. But to mention a few:
1. Jimin,
2. Jimin,
3. Jiminie.
… I’m clearly making a terrible joke, but only in order to bring me to the point that most of it really does have to do with Jimin for me. The rest (stuff that other people have also pointed out) is basically this: all of Bangtan collectively coming out, rainbows, rainbows, rainbows (yes the unicorn, but they also wouldn’t shut up about being “Rainbow BTS” during BVs2), LGBTQ+ elements in their music, excessive m/m skinship, avoidance of heteronormative interview questions, etcetc. What most of that tells me is simply that Jungkook is in an environment where he’s had the opportunity to realize his own sexuality and where he hasn’t had to reject it. It doesn’t say that much about him in particular though, but that’s where Jimin comes in.
And I won’t point you towards moments that have made me think Jungkook is attracted to Jimin  — again this is the main reason I think Jungkook is attracted to men — mostly because I don’t think I have to, but also because there are just way too many.
And not to go full jikook-shipper on you, but to me, this one look is enough:
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… I’m not even kidding and there’s nothing else to say. Except that obviously, it might not be enough outside the context of Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship in general or for someone who hasn’t seen as much of Jimin and Jungkook as I have and thus has a different understanding of their entire situation. But since I have seen what I have and feel like I know what I know, it’s enough. Well actually, another thing to say about this is that I thought Jungkook was in love with Jimin, or at least had a crush on him, well before I shipped them (in fact, while I shipped Jimin with someone else. clearly that didn’t last very long, though). So I didn’t ship them but I still recognized the way Jungkook looks at Jimin, the way he acts around him, and I thought from the start that there was something there. Which made it really weird to find out how much the roles have changed in that aspect when we compare present-day Jimin and Jungkook to past them. I’m glad I had that experience because it’s a reminder that at least Jungkook’s feelings are not just me seeing what I want to see.
Moving on, there’s the entirety of G.C.F which is another main reason I think Jungkook is at least some kind of gay. Lots of people have already talked about that, though. (If you want more of other people’s opinions just go to my lgbts tag. There’s a lot of stupid stuff but important things too. Edit: so this was posted today and while it’s mostly about Jimin, what it says in the beginning about Jungkook is definitely relevant. The whole post is relevant tbh so just. Go read it.)
So yeah, I think Jungkook likes men. Maybe women too, but definitely men. And if he does like women as well, then I’d say he probably leans more towards men anyways. But sexuality is weird and fluid and honestly, I can’t really speculate about anything other than that I think he’s attracted to men. 
And, I feel like I have to remind you, this is just my own thoughts and his sexuality might be completely different in reality. There’s no way to actually know unless Jungkook gets in a relationship or comes out as whatever it may be. 
Finally, I’m gonna out myself pun truly not intended but very much appreciated as someone who doesn’t care that much about sexuality, perhaps because I don’t really know my own yet. That’s not to say I don’t fully support the LGBTQ+ community and as you can see in some of the posts I’ve linked, I think it’s incredible that BTS represent and support it. I also would completely support any of the boys if they chose to come out as belonging to any sexuality. But other than that I just don’t really care about their or anyone’s sexualities. 
Obviously, I’m a jikook shipper, and since I do believe Jimin and Jungkook are something, and definitely that Jungkook has feelings for Jimin, I also have to believe that Jungkook is attracted to men. But I also don’t think I would have thought more about it if I hadn’t seen other people discussing it/ if I hadn’t gotten this ask. I don’t really know how to say it but sexuality seems kind of overrated to me and I don’t really get why it’s so important for people to know other people’s unless they’re trying to get in someone’s pants/are in the LGBTQ+ community and are looking for representation and support. 
I hate to use this particular expression but… it’s not that deep? It’s just another label that, in the end, only means that you love certain people in certain ways.
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fool-errant · 7 years ago
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Ask a Writer
I got tagged by @rabbitkinder
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
Well my studio handle is Foolish Mortal - but someone’s been sitting on that username since dirt. So I went with fool-errant - like knight errant but stupider. The fool part is obvious - and errant means alternatively “straying from proper course or standards” and “traveling in search of adventure” - which I felt summed up thing pretty decent. My handle on FFnet and AO3 is NoCapes - cause I wanted to make sure thatif you looked up my website for art - you didn’t accidentally stumble on TF2 slash. That name comes from the fact I have a little Edna Mode figure sitting on my computer monitor that caught my eye at the time I was looking for a name. 
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)
Erm - well I only have ze one main fic online these day. My long suffering TF2 fic Smoke Gets in Your Eyes. Though even compared to the long lost junk I wrote in high school - its still got the most feedback.
3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
I’m not sure I ever got an icon on those accounts. I just never got aroundto it. 
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
I honestly love all commenters. I have a few regulars who became buds of mine that I love. Also anyone that ends up making something in reaction to my writing is special to me. 
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
Not really. I’m a horrible person. I also have a mind that retains little details, so I am the sort that reads something once and can remember it clearly later. 
I DO have a few genre/ tropes I like to revisit reading wise. One is Lavellen/Cullen from Dragon Age. Another one I binge hit recently is anything about Finn from Star Wars needing and receiving hugs and people (mainly Poe) supporting him. And Princess Leia shows up to remind people to take care of themselves and Storm Pilot snuggles ever after.  
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
Uh...I’m honestly not sure. I squirrel away bookmarks and forget about them later. I have a couple in progress stories I subscribe to. 
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
I really don’t do AUs - unless you count the gag bit I wrote where Spy and FemSpy are the parents of Carmen Sandiego.  I tend to feel people are the products of their settings and removing them from that takes a lot of their traits away. Though that’s my opinion and I’m never going to tell anyone they can’t or shouldn’t go write and enjoy their own thing. 
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
Welp on AO3: Bookmarks:74  Subscriptions:77
Here on Tumbles: 268
on FFnet - I can not make heads or tales of that one. Though I seem to have a couple of folks in South Africa reading - which is cool. 
9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
.....*Maniacal laughter*  I deal with chronic depression and anxiety. So I have a very large list of things I WANT to do but don’t. A lot of it is due to the fear of judging - and a lot of “no one wants this - what is the point?”  
I had an original concept involving airship pirates - colonialism - and the main lead was a trans pan sexual in a setting that didn’t have words or play book for hat sort of thing. The story wasn’t ABOUT the fact the lead was the way they were, it was just aside thing. But I scrapped it cause I figured no one wanted it - it was stranger and I didn’t want people coming out of the woodwork telling me I didn’t have a right to do that or that I wrote the lead wrong.  
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
I have long ago accepted my inability to porn well.  I’d love to be better with my updates. But as mentioned earlier I deal with depression - so my brain meats aren’t the most efficient at cranking out things in a timely manner.  Also replyingto comments/ social media shit. I am awful at. 
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
I guess Rarepairs...I suppose. 
12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
Three/four - one large chapter monster and lots of little drabbles that sort of grew around it. 
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
*cough* Lots
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
...Depends on how long the story idea bugs me, how complicated the idea is and if I intend to do anything with it.  
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Not exactly. A bud of mine and me in high school triedto do that but gave up. Now a days I just co author smutty bits with someone else cause I am no good at those on my own.
16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?
I knew about FF.net before the great PornPurge. I am not even sure HOW I found them. Probably just wandering the net as a young impressionable nerd. I also used to deal with webrings if you want to guess how old I am. 
AO3 I...think I heard about on tumblr, or I had a friend or two metion them tome when I started writing fic again seriously. 
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?
No. I always end up baffled to find out people have read or remember anything I’d worked on. 
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
Not really? What?
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
Not to my knowledge - I think there was a quote about art that I picked up via Ted Naifeh about how you have to get through 1000 bad drawings to get to the good ones. That tends to stick in my mind about  writing or anything I’m trying my hand at. 
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
I don’t have much for writing - but creating things in general. When I started doing art in high school the forums I hung out on always had the reminder, “There will always be someone better than you. But you will always be better than someone else.” Write as things come to mind. You don’t have to write in sequential order - you can edit that later. Don’t worry if things come out rough and ugly in your first drafts, things can get polished later. Write what you want, not what you think others will want. Also to paraphrase Dr Suess - if you draw a monster with three heads, be sure to give it three toothbrushes. Keep details in mind when building a world/ scenario.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
I have a rough skeleton or shape I start with - when I start writing it all out things start getting filled in - or changed from the original plan cause something better came up. 
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
Occasionally I would get folks complaining about “the slow bits” where it’s just banter - or folks getting snotty about the lack of sex scenes, but generally nothing “bad” just antsy. 
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
SMUT - I’m a poor little ace robot. My brain doesn’t quite know what to do with smut scenes. Where do hands go? What do they do? People do what? Don’t they know what comes out of those places? EVERYONE NEEDS TO WASH THEIR HANDS.  I don’t cut the scenes since I know it’s a thing people do- and it feels disingenuous to have violence in a story and then get all fiddly when sex shows up. So I have cucu help me out - and have lots of feedback from other folks as we muddle along. 
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
Still working on Smoke as I can and trying to flesh out an original concept, which is sort of a post apocalyptic noir,
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
YEP 
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
Not DAILY - but I do try to make myself add 500 words to what I’m working on when I do sit down to write. 
27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?
Thankfully 
28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?
I dunno - I mean I don’t have much going on right now that’s eaten my time and attention as much as Smoke Gets in Your Eyes has. 
29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?
Nothing that I’ve left out in public. I cleared out my old writing archives ages ago and I tend not to let myself look back. 
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
I don’t actually know. I rarely consider myself a writer. I am an artist - I went to school for art and drawing. I just sort of accidentally picked writing back up. 
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
Planning - Conceptualizing. The early stages when everything is still nebulous and nothing is forced into words. 
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Putting things into words. Also the whole “creating things to toss into the void” sensation.
33. Why do you write?
Because my brain sort of will keep daisy chaining ideas and building stories with or without my permission. So focusing on them - writing them and getting them out on paper for others to look at seems the only real solution.  Also cause my friends got sick of my being like “so hypothetically - if blah and blah happened - you think such and such would shake out of that?” 
I taaaag @fat-mabari @vkiera @prinxvariety
Cheers!
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wildblueyoshi · 7 years ago
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20 Followers I’d Like to Know
Tagged by @allykat023
1) Name/nickname: Katy Bug (lol it’s in order)

2) Gender: Female

3) Star sign: Capricorn

4) Height: unimpressive

5) Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw.  Like so Ravenclaw it’s not even funny.

6) Favourite animal: Cats!

7) Hours of sleep:  I feel best when I get at least 8, but I rarely do because I’m an idiot who doesn’t know how to get to bed at a decent hour.

8) Dogs or cats: Cats, but I love dogs, too.

9) Number of blankets: Depends on the season.  In summer, only one blanket, preferably my quilt. In winter, ALL THE BLANKETS.  Or at least my fuzzy, ultra warm, king size blanket.

10) Dream trip: Japan, but there are a lot of other places I’d love to visit, too.

11) Dream job:  Professional author, with occasional freelance piano gigs and other artsy bullshit.

12) Time: Well past time to get ready for bed.  See my answer to question 7.

13) Birthday: I said I’m Capricorn.  That’s all the detail you get.

14) Favorite Bands: Queen.  <3

15) Favorite Solo Artists:  I’ll say Elton John at the moment.  Besides Queen, it’s really hard for me to pick my absolute favorite artists.

16) Song Stuck In My Head: I just listened to “New Planet” by the Dog Traders, and it usually stays in my head for approximately two weeks each time I listen to it.  So, that one.

17) Last Movie I Watched: Shit, I don’t even remember.  Was it 8 1/2?  Or whatever it’s called @mikyway?

18) Last Show I Watched: Uhhh parts of the second Fushigi Yuugi OVA.  I’m slowly but surely rewatching it so I can smart off about the whole damn thing on a twitter account.  I’m BugWatchesAnime and you should follow me because I’m very funny to literally everyone who shares my sense of humor.  Also because it makes me feel good and aren’t I the most important person in the world?

19) When Did I Create My Blog: Five years ago?  Six? Edit: I think that my husband was the one who created my tumblr for me.

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: Lately, it’s mostly funny stuff.  There’s not much rhyme or reason to it.  There was once upon a time, though.

21) Last Thing I Googled: I don’t know... Honestly I use bing, since you get reward points for searching with bing.

22) Other Blogs: Yes, a really stupid one.  It’s even stupider than my anime twitter.

23) Do I Get Asks: Very rarely

24) Why I Choose My URL: WildBlueYoshi is the name of my “main” blog, which I haven’t updated in I don’t know how long.  I should probably write some stuff for it, but I haven’t felt like it in - well, however long it’s been since I updated, and then some.  What’s funny is that my tumblr page was originally intended to be just another social media site that I used to funnel traffic to my main site, and now I only use tumblr.  lololololol shoot me Edit: As I added in number 19 above, I believe my husband created this tumblr for me.

25) Following: 399.  Holy fuck.  Since when?

26) Followers: 143.  I think about a dozen of those aren’t bots.

27) Lucky Number: I could be obnoxious and say luck is a myth, but I’ll just say 13, or 21.

28) Favorite Instrument: I guess I’m obligated to say piano, since that’s the one I can actually play worth a damn.

29) What Am I Wearing: My give-no-shits winter house uniform, which is:  pajama pants (complete with massive hole in the ass because they are a thousand years old), a tank top, and hoodie.  And no bra, because fuck that shit, this is my house.

30) Favorite Food: Tomatoes.  Fresh tomatoes.

31) Nationality: American

32) Favorite Song: Much like I have trouble choosing favorite musical artists, I have trouble choosing favorite songs.  It’s hard to go wrong with “Somebody To Love” by Queen, though.

33) Last Book Read: Tokyo Ghoul, volume 8.  (Side note:  wtf is going on?  It got insanely weird in volume 7.)

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: Fushigi Yuugi, even though there’s murder and rape aplenty, yet no flushing toilets.  And, okay, FUCK IT I WANNA BE A POKEMON TRAINER.  I reserve the third slot for whatever I happen to read/watch next.
I’ll tag (not 20 because I can’t remember that many usernames): @mikyway (since I already tagged you above XD) @imsopopfly @brennacedria @unichrome @catgirlluna @fishdavidson​ @jadednightwing (you have been following me and reblogging/liking my stuff for ages, yet I wasn’t following you??? I have remedied this and now I hope to get to know you, you beautiful unicorn of copious reblogs)
Edited for typos/clarity
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