#edit: need to be clear here there is no way i am going to receive the Maximum Amount because i cant work

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Wicked the movie thoughts - spoiler version

I went to see Wicked today! If you want to read a spoiler free edition of what I thought you can do that here but otherwise below the cut I am going to talk in a lot of detail about the show and share my thoughts - they're overwhelmingly positive!! I loved this movie, I love this musical, and I have a lot of thoughts to discuss, I'm welcoming conversations about things I say or about stuff I didn't say but that you want to talk about let's absolutely chat, and this is all the way through going to contain spoilers for the plot but also for specific details, scenes, acting, etc, of the new movie so be warned if you don't want to read that

First of all, the genuine love and care that was put into the show and that can be seen not only in the acting but in the set, the music, in every aspect the care and the adoration for the theatre production was so clear, it was so lovingly crafted from the word go. I also felt like not only Wicked the musical but also Oz, in the original Wizard of Oz novel, in the Wicked novel, in the world and in everything that Gregory Maguire brought to the world, and so on and so forth was being treated with such care and being genuinely revered whilst also balancing well enough that I didn't feel like I was only ever seeing rehashes of existing material or a carbon copy of the past

Even as I was watching and thinking this, and thinking how well they had captured the feeling of watching something on stage, I was still wondering how they were possibly going to execute the Emerald City and the One Short Day performance because it's so iconic and so distinct in the musical but genuinely I was so impressed with the success of that scene. It both captured the essence of One Short Day on stage and added something new to it without taking anything away from the original and they deserve so much praise for that. I'm going to talk a little bit about the nail salon scene later when I discuss propaganda in Wicked (this is gonna be a looooooong post y'all buckle up) but other than that for One Short Day I just need to address, because how could I not, IDINA MENZEL AND KRISTEN CHENOWORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know they were going to be there!!!!!!!!!! I was losing my goddamn mind you guys omg

I was genuinely astonished. Like I'd seen them doing press and stuff but I assumed that was just because their names are so synonymous with Wicked I didn't realise they were actually going to be there!!

I really enjoyed the small stage production about the Wise Ones and the Grimmerie it was brilliant in concept and execution for worldbuilding and lore but KRISTEN AND IDINA OMG wonderful oh my gosh. Now was it on the nose? Absolutely. But I don't think that it felt forced, I thought that if you didn't know who they were then even when Chenoworth was singing to Grande and Menzel was singing to Eviro then it still wouldn't have felt strange or out of place, but of course I'm looking at it through the lens of a fan receiving fan service so generally speaking even though I know it's fanservice I'm still going to enjoy it and it's possible that through another's eyes it would feel different. I thought it was brilliant though and nothing will take that away from me

I think it's fair to say that the pacing of Wicked is kind of messed up and I have heard concern that because of that the act 2 movie will struggle; pacing of act 2 does get messy, but I cannot fault them in any way for splitting it into two movies ok because this was spectacular and I would not want to cut a single thing from it so yeah that's kind of all my thoughts on that point; I think that even if act 2 is harder to bring to screen that it can still be done in a high quality and successful way and especially after watching part 1 today I absolutely trust that this production can do that

I'm gonna now hop right back to No-One Mourns the Wicked (the pacing of this post is gonna be worse than the pacing of wicked). I was slightly concerned that Ariana Grande's intense recognisable-ness was going to take something away from the show because it would be hard to see the character she was playing rather than just Ariana Grande singing, if that makes sense, but from as early as No-One Mourns the Wicked my concerns were alleviated. Glinda is not an easy character to play, in my opinion, and she's not an easy character to play because she acts incredibly melodramatic in everything she does whilst her genuine emotions are incredibly subtle. What I saw in both Grande and Erivo was how fantastic their micro-expressions are and how much they can tell the audience with one or two features, often the eyes, alone. In No-One Mourns the Wicked , Galinda genuinely believes and will presumably continue to believe for the rest of her life that Elphaba is dead. And throughout her performance of the song, I more than once found it visibly notable that Glinda was on the verge of tears. She was smiling, she was singing, she was moving gracefully with her typical accentuated and dramatic movements, but the pain in her eyes was remarkable. This was a woman who believed that the only person she had ever had a genuine emotional connection with was dead, a woman who had lost not only someone she had manufactured a relationship with (Fiyero) and convinced herself that she was happy with what she knew was a false pretence of love to receive from, but also the only person in the world who had ever shown her real love and was finally being confronted by the fullest extent of the choices she had made but having to keep everything light and cheerful because of those very choices. Did that make sense? I hope I'm not just spouting nonsense. One of the most emphasised moments of this for me was when this massive effigy of Elphaba and one of the munchkinland residents hands Glinda the torch to light it; there's this blink and you miss it moment where Glinda looks at the torch, at the effigy, then back to the man who held it out to her, who's watching her expectantly, before she turns and tosses it on with a sense of urgency. Not only is this alone powerful, but I also think it's powerful that she throws the torch instead of standing at the effigy and taking care to set it alight firstly because she may not be able to bring herself to do so but also in a way that may be reflective of their relationship and the story: Glinda does not outrightly attack or harm Elphaba but she makes the choices that she makes, she throws her torch and whatever burns will burn.

I also felt that she captured the comedic elements of Glinda fantastically, with one of my favourite moments being when she melodramatically collapses kneeling in front of the bed as though she is sobbing into the quilt but just sits there perfectly still and the camera just stares at her for a few moments before she peeks up over her shoulder to see if Elphie's looking. The difference we can see between these two sides of Glinda's character was very well executed and I think we also see something of her more vulnerable side in some of these comedic moments, because ultimately she does (I'm going to talk about this later) feel unloved because of how shallow all of her relationships are and even in melodramatic, foolish or naive moments like the throwing herself on the duvet cover she is actively seeking attention because she equates attention to love - she so desperately claws her way to attention and popularity because she feels unloved and she thinks that this is love, so when it doesn't give her the feeling she was searching for she becomes convinced that it was because she doesn't have enough of it yet and she needs more. I thought that she was incredibly well captured and presented from all angles with her very many layers being well laid out.

Again with the insane jumping around but let's just dive headfirst into a couple of little details that I noticed whilst I'm thinking about them - during the Wizard and I when Elphaba is imagining her success and her dream she runs through a cornfield!! As though she is running towards Fiyero!!! I loved it. Like it's so tiny, but I love it. Another tiny one - loved the silver shoes for Nessa as a hark to the original book wherein the magic slippers were silver, but then in Popular when Glinda is going through her wardrobe and pulling out all these different options she gives Elphaba a pair of ruby red slippers and then decides against them and throws them away again!! Loved it as a teeny little reference. I also really lovedddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd and this one is more meaningful to the story but when Elphie has her magic outburst at Shiz right at the start where she sends Nessa into the air and stuff gets thrown everywhere, there's a statue on the wall of the Wizard that gets smashed. When it smashes, it's briefly visible that beneath the statue the wall was originally painted with a mural of animal scholars!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED this detail, I was BUZZING. Like you saw it long enough to see what it was, there were three animals with a bear in the middle and I think the bear was wearing maroon robes and they were all clearly scholars

My personal theories on this is that either they were highly valued intellectual alumni of Shiz or that they founded the school, however there mya be lore standing on them that I am unaware of I started reading the book a long time ago and never finished it (I really want to read it but I haven't got around to it yet. I read enough to know what happened to Dr Dillimond in the book but I don't remember a lot after that)

Speaking of Dr Dillimond, I'm not sure if I just missed a detail or something implicit but I wasn't sure that they gave any real explanation as to why the poppies didn't knock Fiyero out????

On Fiyero: Johnathon Bailey understands Fiyero so well and it was brilliant. His performance very much took in the different layers of the character and the split between what he presents to the world and the intensity of the emotions he hides. Fiyero experiences emotion so intensely and feels such an intense response to others' emotions as well, and I think that you could really tell that whilst not feeling like anything was being taken away from the charismatic charming persona that you knew he was putting on. One of my favourite moments between him and Elphaba in this was when she siad something along the lines of 'you aren't as shallow and self-loving as I thought' and he replies something along the lines of 'how dare you? I genuinely love myself and I am deeply shallow' and I love this not only because his humour is enjoyable and his defence mechanisms are interesting but also because she immediately breaks through and says no, you're unhappy.

I promised thoughts on Dancing Through Life so whilst we're on Fiyero -> I don't at all intend to say that Bailey isn't a good singer because he is, I just thought that to some degree his voice didn't stand out from the chorus' voices in the same way that Erivo's and Grande's do and so the song did necessarily have the same bite to it as some of the others did/ That isn't to say that it wasn't a fantastic scene, because it was, and I loved the choreography and I was obsessed with the spinning bookshelves and all of it, the bringing the beat of the song in through the movement of the books was brilliant, and again he is a good singer and I think that having the actor's own voice in the movie is almost always the right decision

Okay I am going to make a post on its own about this as well because this is really long and I am so deeply obsessed with this I want to give it a chance to get proper discussion but one of my favourite propaganda-related details of this movie was Elphaba's nails. Yes, you read that right. Her nails.

In all of the imagery and posters of the 'Wicked Witch of the West' she is very often leaning forwards with her hands strangely position in the foreground and then her face behind them so your focus is drawn very quickly to the hands. In these images, her nails are always presented as extravagantly long, sharp, and claw-like. So in a world where animals are discriminated against and being used as the common enemy long before Elphaba is used as that enemy it's so fascinating that the dehumanisation of Elphaba has emphasis on her hands appearing strange or 'unnatural' and it makes me think of the line in Something Bad 'It's enough to give pause to anyone with paws' because that's where the emphasis on this distinction lies with no-one but humans having limbs that resemble hands - having Elphaba presented effectively as though she has claws in a world where animals are discriminated against and actively silenced, especially since she advocated against that silencing. And something I really enjoyed after having noticed the long nails in the posters during No-One Mourns the Wicked is that throughout the movie Elphaba has unapologetically long, beautiful nails that in a truly wonderful subtle aspect of Erivo's acting we get the sense she cares about even though they are never discussed. When she and Glinda go to the Emerald City we see this montage of their day during One Short Day and one of the things they do is go to a nail salon and we see Elphaba excitedly showing off to Glinda her long pretty nails that she loves so much and that make her feel pretty. Again this is such a massive testament to Erivo's acting skills because there's no dialogue about it but we know that she is so excited and we know that this is one of very few times that Elphie has felt pretty, she loves her nails. And they get used so horrifyingly against her. The nail salon is such a brief, subtle moment but it's so very well executed. There's also an earlier scene where she's alone with Madame Morrible practicing magic and when she reaches out to make the hand movements the camera cuts to show the shadow of her hand and it creates this emphasis on the length of her nails and how because of the shape of her hand midway through the movement the image looks like a claw or like a very stereotypical evil witch hands sort of thing. I also think that this moment is particularly powerful bc she's alone with Morrible and everything that Elphie does under Morrible's instruction is perfectly natural but what is seen on Morrible's stationary on the desk below her is representative of the propaganda that Morrible will turn the actions that she forced Elphaba to do into.

Also more propaganda stuff I could talk about the use of the word 'witch' for all goddamn eternity so I'm not going to hark on about it now but I will say that a piece of media like this one cannot be created today without acknowledgemnt of the difference between the word 'wtich' and the word 'wizard' and how they are presented, and I think that this was really interestingly handled in the word 'witch' not being said in the prequel aspect of it until Morrible labels her 'this Wicked Witch'.

Okay I think this is going to be what I finish off with but if you know this account you know that I LOVE a parallel and I was obsessed with the parallel drawn between family dynamics in Elphie's relationship with Nessa and her father, and then with the family that she's looking for and briefly thinks she could find with Morrible, the wizard, and Glinda. Yeoh said in an interview that Morrible's betrayal is realising that the mother figure isn't who you thought she was. Madame Morrible becomes Elphaba's maternal figure, and to her living memory realistically her only maternal figure, from very early on and this maternal view of her that we have through Elphaba's eyes is very much existent by the time we reach Sentimental Man, wherein the idea of the Wizard being able to offer her some kind of paternal love, that she has never felt because her relationship with her father is so fraught, is brought forth. Sentimental Man was very well performed in my opinion, it was the right decision to keep it low and subtle and close because it created this very specific closeness between Elphie and the Wizard and we felt what she felt, which was the exact manipulation that the Wizard wanted her to feel. When Madame Morrible enters the scene we then have both of these parental-style figures present telling Elphaba how precious she is, how amazing she is, how much they believe in her - essentially all these different things that she has been denied her entire life. What I find particularly fascinating about this is that what gets created here is exactly Elphaba's existing family dynamic - because Glinda is there too. This is what Elphaba always wanted - a motherly figure, a fatherly figure, and a sisterly figure - but it still comes at the expense of the sister. Glinda is being actively diminished and put down whilst Elphaba is raised and complimented for the purpose of manipulation and to be used for their purposes rather than existing for herself, just as her father diminishes and hurts her whilst complimenting and idolising Nessa but also manipulating her & never allowing her to live her own life. There's a moment where they're all stood around the grimmerie to get the four of them in shot with Elphie looking over the book, Morrible encouragingly at her side, the Wizard watching on from behind, and Glinda leaning over Elphie's other side to try and squeeze herself into the picture and I think that this still alone captures the entire thing so very well.

In a way, this is why Glinda turned round - without Elphie there, she gets love. When Elphaba had parental figures over her and no Nessa present to be better than her, she felt loved; when Glinda has parental figures over her and no Elphaba present to be better than her, she feels loved. The fundamental difference between them in the moment of choice is arguably that Elphaba's love for others, primarily Nessa, will always be stronger than her need for love from others, whereas Glinda's need for love from others will always be stronger than her love for others, primarily Elphaba.

In this moment, Glinda's warped distinction between love and popularity, as I discussed it earlier, is finally put to direct test and even though she loves Elphie and is loved by her in a way that she has arguably never been loved (we saw just how shallow her relationship with her parents was upon the arrival at Shiz. It's as shallow as her friendships at Shiz and romance with Fiyero.) she chooses popularity because she has somehow convinced herself that superficial love from many is better than genuine love from few. Elphaba's love for Glinda is probably the most genuine affection she's experienced in her entire life - but it doesn't come from authority. Elphaba's love isn't coming from someone who can raise Glina up or give her advantages and ultimately she is always seeking the approval of authority, possibly because she felt like she never received it from the authority that was her parents when she was a child, and she finds that feeling in Morrible and the Wizard, and arguably in the power that Fiyero's family could give her as well.

Okay super quick additions that i just remembered:

I loved loved loved the addition of her falling from the palace and seeing young Elphaba in the reflection and once again so freaking much could be said about the strength of Erivo's acting here it was truly beautiful and I found it like genuinely nerve-wracking even though I knew she obvs had to make it and the song wasn't over yk but yeah it was fantastic

When Elphaba's running from the soldiers & the flying monkeys just after the monkeys have been told to attack her and Glinda is chasing after her. They go through a narrow corridor of the palace lined by windows, and the wall are made of green brick. The sunset beyond casts pink light through every window. Every window is pink, all the walls are green. Elphaba is running and Glinda is following, trying to tell her to come back to the Wizard. As they run the flying monkeys start smashing the windows, so for every pace that they take THE PINK SHATTERS AND ONLY THE GREEN IS LEFT BEHIND. They are running towards Defying Gravity and for every step closer to it they become the less intertwined the colours are. The pink shatters and the green is left behind. It was visual poetry.

Okay I hope that this insane rambling made sense, I was partially transcribing this from voicenotes I sent to my friends when I got back after the movie and they actually got more than this so apologies to them and thank you for indulging me, and thank you to anyone who has bothered to read this lol I hope it was interesting - overall, excellent movie and I loved it!! Already can't wait for part 2

[narutomaki]

I... was approved for the DTC? I can't feel my face

[buckymorelikefuckme]

and baby makes three

(the reboot)

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 11.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** friends to lovers, pining, smut, oral (f receiving), breeding kink, pregnancy kink, cockwarming (kind of??), trigger warning for having troubles with getting pregnant. it's still super fuckin soft despite all of that though, i swear.

a/n: okay so it's currently 6am as i'm typing this and i haven't been to sleep yet bc i decided to just heavily edit this instead of rewrite it bc i'm lazy i guess idk. this was posted originally back in 2021 i believe and it's still on ao3 it's just orphaned rip. i promise i'll be writing and posting new stuff soon ok pls have faith in me and cheer me on bc it's hard and scary and i don't wanna disappoint anybody :( ANYWAY, as usual, any and all mistakes are my own. if i've missed anything important pls let me know so i can correct it. feedback is encouraged (pls) and appreciated (i am begging...)

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and very unlikely. Sure, you liked kids well enough, but having one of your own…

It’s a thought that’s sat in a corner deep in your mind, buried beneath a million other impossible concepts; a thought that you’ve only ever glanced over and never gave your full attention, having ruled it out ages ago as something you just couldn’t—or wouldn’t—do.

And then, on a day like any other, it pushes its way to the forefront of your mind, making itself known and unwilling to leave.

You’re going into the clothing store to find a new cardigan after your most favorite one got eaten by the dryer. Usually you’re a single-minded shopper, walking into a store with tunnel vision and on a mission to get what you need and that’s it.

Today, however, you make the mistake of letting your eyes wander on your way to the sweater section. Your gaze just so happens to land on the baby clothes… and your steps falter. It’s there that you see it, a tiny, pink onesie with a sleeping teddy bear printed on the front, displayed on an even tinier hanger. There’s matching pants with teddy bears all over them and ruffles on the butt and all your brain can muster up is cutecutecutecutecute.

Your feet carry you closer and before you realize what you’re doing you pick up the outfit, letting out a coo when you realize the teddy bear is fuzzy, softly rubbing your thumb across it. Somehow, you walk out of the store, not with a new cardigan, but with the cute baby outfit and a bow you thought looked adorable with it.

It’s not until you get home that it hits you, that you bought baby clothes for a baby you don’t even have.

The feeling that rushes through you is hard to describe. Shame? Embarrassment?

...Yearning?

No. Definitely not. Nope.

There’s absolutely no yearning going on here, not for a baby. You’ve never even had that desire before and you certainly don’t see yourself having it now. You shake your head to clear it, telling yourself you’ll take it back tomorrow.

Except you don’t take it back. You conveniently “forget” and it stays shoved on the top shelf in your hall closet. You pretend you don’t pause in front of said closet throughout the following days—weeks—chewing on the inside of your cheek and staring at the door like you can see through the wood at the evidence of your impulsive purchase.

It gets harder to ignore, though, when you start getting ads for baby clothing brands. And baby toys, bottles, handy little gadgets for new parents, nursery decor… It’s endless.

Then, as if it wasn’t already bad enough, all of your childhood friends start popping out babies like it’s a brand new trend. You don't think you've seen your social media this flooded with pregnancy announcements and baby arrivals, ever. Your emotions are mixed; happy for them, and for their excitement, but there’s also a weird discomfort settled in your stomach.

You hesitate to be that person who thinks the universe is trying to tell you something, but you do wonder. Why else would you suddenly have these feelings? Why else would there be baby stuff everywhere you look now?

It brings on other thoughts, as well. In this day and age, it’s not too unusual for women to have babies without being married, or without a significant other at all. There is the pressure, still, to at least be in a relationship, but considering you’ve been practically in love with one of your closest friends for the last two years, it’s safe to say that you’re tragically single, so having a baby with someone is out of the question.

And god, do you even want a baby?

As soon as the thought crosses your mind, with a sudden clarity that hits you like a ton of bricks, you realize you do. It feels like a freight train has slammed into you. Your mind’s eye supplies you with images of a swollen belly and wide smile, a precious baby wrapped in a soft blanket, cradled in your arms, a gummy grin and happy giggle.

Emotion consumes you then, longing like you’ve never felt in your life, chest aching with how badly you want that.

It’s not as if you’re too young. You’re plenty old enough and you’ve got a secure job. You don’t subscribe to that whole biological clock nonsense, but you do feel that if you are going to potentially have a baby, it might be better to do it now while you’re still in relatively good health.

You groan, dropping your face into your open palms, the movie you'd been watching to try and distract yourself long forgotten as it continues to play on the television.

This is a lot to think about, you ponder to yourself. Taking a deep breath in and releasing it slowly, you decide the mature thing to do is give yourself more time to ruminate on it. Having a baby is no small decision. You need to be absolutely certain it’s what you want. It’s going to change your entire life, everything, and you’d be responsible for a new life. So, you’ll have to give yourself a few months to decide and then you can go from there.

***

You’re scrolling through yet another article on your laptop, engrossed in every detail of the process of artificial insemination and the symptoms and side effects that come with it. So engrossed, in fact, that you don’t hear the key turning in the lock, the door opening and closing, and the heavy footfalls that follow.

It’s only when Bucky asks, “Whatcha reading?” that you are even aware of his presence.

You startle so hard that your knee slams into the underside of your table. Ignoring the throbbing pain in your knee and your wildly beating heart, you close your laptop with a snap and turn to Bucky.

“You could knock,” you grouse.

“Why give me a key, then?” he retorts, unapologetic.

You roll your eyes and grumble under your breath, “Clearly, it was a mistake.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

Brows furrowed, you ask, “What?”

He gestures to your laptop. “What were you reading? Your nose was nearly smushed against the screen.”

You blink, trying to think of a reasonable excuse and coming up empty.

“Nothing,” is all your brilliant mind can supply.

Bucky’s eyes narrow for a few seconds, and you pray to every higher power and all that is holy and good that he won’t press further. You remain frozen under Bucky’s suspicious stare, hearing that Old West shootout music playing in your mind.

Thankfully, it seems the deities are feeling indulgent, as Bucky chooses let it go.

He holds up the bags he carried in. “I brought lunch.”

You perk up instantly. “Did you go to that one place—?”

“With the fried rice you like so much, yes,” he finishes for you, smiling.

“You’re the best,” you sigh, stomach rumbling eagerly.

“I know,” he replies, solemn and dramatic like the idiot he is.

He begins taking out the styrofoam boxes and chattering on about something dumb Steve did the other day, and you mean to listen, you really do. It’s just. That article is still lingering in your brain. There’s so many steps and hassles. Plus, it’s not cheap. It would be a hefty investment.

You’d only researched it because, after months of contemplating the pros and cons of having a baby, you determined the pros far outweigh the cons. But then the problem was: how to even make it happen.

Your first thought was that you didn’t think you’d let just any man come inside you, for many obvious reasons. You’d shuddered to think of it. Then there was surrogacy, which is admirable and wonderful, but you’d quickly dismissed that idea as you realized you wanted to actually carry the baby yourself. So that led you to artificial insemination. You weren’t sure how you felt about it yet. There was something a little too clinical about choosing a random man’s sperm to have injected into your uterus.

Bucky’s still speaking as he grabs plates and forks, unaware of your inner monologue. “And then he got Sam involved,” he’s saying, scooping out food onto the plates, “which, as you know, I always think is a dumb thing to do.”

“I want to have a baby,” you blurt, eyes widening at your outburst.

Bucky fumbles with the spoon, sending fried rice flying, muttering curses as he tries to catch it with no luck as it lands with a dull clunk on the table. The silence that follows is loud. It feels like your heart is in your throat as you wait for him to just say something, anything.

“This is… quite a mess I’ve made,” Bucky finally observes. His voice is a bit higher than usual. “Where’s your vacuum? Actually, do you have one of those mini ones? Or would Clorox wipes be better? You know what, I’ll do both.”

He nods decisively then turns an expectant look towards you. His eyes look a bit wild, but you wisely keep that to yourself.

Wordlessly, you direct him to your hall closet. You realize your error a second too late when he opens the closet and reaches for the vacuum on the top shelf, where the purchase you’d made months ago also rests. His fingers get caught in the plastic bag when he grabs the handheld vacuum and its contents spill out. He goes to catch them right away, but once it registers what they are, he lets go of them like they’re on fire and nearly drops the vacuum on his foot.

Heat has been steadily creeping up your neck, but now your whole body feels aflame with embarrassment. The two of you stare at the baby clothes lying unassumingly on the floor for a long moment, until Bucky quietly walks back to the table with the vacuum clutched tightly in his fist. He flicks the switch on and it whirs to life, sucking up the bits of rice scattered around the table.

There’s another lengthy silence after he turns the vacuum off and you're unable to find the right thing to say to break it. Bucky does it for you.

“So… You’re serious.”

You meet his eyes and sigh heavily. “Yeah.”

He blinks a few times before clearing his throat, schooling his expression carefully. “I didn’t realize you were seeing someone.”

You cough lightly and start picking the peas out of your fried rice. “Well, that would be because I’m not.”

“I don’t think I follow,” he admits slowly.

You sigh again, lowering your gaze to your lap. “Look, I’ve thought about this a lot, okay? I’ve given myself months to really make sure it’s what I want. I’m in a good place in my life to have one, Bucky, and I don’t want to feel pressured to wait until I might get married.” You lift your gaze to his. “I want to have a baby,” you repeat firmly. “And I don’t need a partner to have one.”

You’re not sure why you feel the need to defend yourself. It’s not up to Bucky what you decide to do. You don’t need his approval, or anyone else’s. Maybe it’s because, even though you know it's not true, it feels like you're making too hasty of a decision.

After a beat, Bucky amends, “Well, I mean… You do…”

“Oh my god, shut up, you know what I mean,” you groan as you smack his arm, glad that he's not calling you crazy or trying to talk you out of it.

He doesn’t even flinch, the jerk.

“Wait, so what were you reading when I got here?” he suddenly questions, brows furrowed.

“Nothing,” you say too quickly, guiltily.

“Let me see your laptop then,” he counters as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You flounder for a second, scoffing. “What? No!”

“It can’t be that embarrassing, just show me,” he wheedles.

“Absolutely not.”

“Let me see!”

“It’s private!”

“Don’t be a chicken.”

Your eye twitches. “I’m not a chicken.” Bucky smirks and before he can even open his mouth you interject with a finger pointed accusingly at his face, “Do not start clucking at me, Bucky. I’ll kick your ass,” you threaten, though it's weak and you're not the only one who knows it.

You glare when his smirk only widens. Slowly, he moves his arms like he’s gonna flap them like chicken wings.

“Ugh! God, fine! You wanna know what I was reading?” You open your laptop and slide it over to him, turning it to where he can read it. “There.”

Bucky scans the page, then scans it again, eyes flicking all over like it’s in a different language. His cheeks grow redder and redder as he reads and you get a small sense of satisfaction at the sight.

“Wow,” he mutters finally. “You’re turkey baster serious.”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“What?” he asks innocently.

When you make eye contact with him, you purse your lips to keep the laughter threatening to bubble out at bay, but the ever growing smile on Bucky’s face is hard to resist and you find yourself snorting a laugh that leads to uncontrollable giggles. Bucky’s laughing with you, his eyes crinkling on the sides. The tension you hadn’t realized you held in your shoulders loosens and you nudge his knee with yours in silent thanks.

“So,” he says after you've both calmed down.

“So,” you repeat, dragging it out, drumming your fingers on the tabletop. “I’ve been doing research, checking out all of my options, and while artificial insemination seems like the best choice… I don’t know, there’s just something too clinical about it,” you reply, voicing your concerns, “It doesn’t feel right. I know I said I don’t need a partner, and I don’t, but… Having absolutely no connection is weird.”

You shrug, waving a hand as if to say oh well, putting an end to the conversation, and pick up your plate to carry it over to the microwave. You reheat Bucky’s food while you’re up, and then you both start eating in comfortable silence. He gets halfway through his meal before speaking up.

“Have you… I mean, did you think about… I’ve heard that, uh. Some people ask another person…”

He trails off, clearly frustrated that he can’t just spit out what he’s trying to say. You think you understand what he means, though.

“I read up on surrogacy,” you say, biting your lip. “But I don’t think I’d want someone else to carry my baby.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean—I wasn’t suggesting, uh, that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it!” he rushes to say.

You tilt your head. “What did you mean then?”

“Well,” Bucky starts, stilted, licking his lips. “For the artificial insemination, have you considered… you know. Asking someone you’re close with?”

You frown, not following.

“For—for the sperm,” he clarifies, shifting in his seat.

“Oh,” you breathe, blinking rapidly, surprised as you think of how to reply. “Um. No? I wouldn’t even know who I could ask, to be honest. That’s quite the request, you know? Who would—“

“Me,” he interrupts, determined and cheeks flushed, “I would.”

Your own face heats. “Oh,” you say again, quieter.

You can say, with full confidence, that not once did it cross your mind to ask anyone to help you, but you especially would have never given thought to asking Bucky.

For a list of reasons, really, with “it’s Bucky” being right at the very top. Like—sure, yes, you’re in love with him, but after two years of no signs of reciprocation you’ve learned to stop dreaming, to stop hoping. If the attraction was mutual he would have shown it by now, right? And on top of that, his friendship means the world to you and you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. You'd never forgive yourself if you ever managed to fuck up the one good, constant thing going for you.

“Bucky,” you start, slow and careful, “this… This isn't something you can just jump into. It’s something you should think about for a while.”

He contemplates that for a second. “You’re right,” he concedes with a nod. “But…” He purses his lips, glancing away for a minute before turning back to you, leaning forward. “Okay listen, this is important for you. It’s going to change your whole life. You said it yourself, not having a connection to the sperm donor feels wrong. You’re my best friend, alright? I—care about you. You should pick someone you can trust.”

He clenches his jaw after he finishes speaking. You sort of hate the way your heart both flutters and plummets at his words. It’s nice to know you matter to him, just not in the way you’ve wanted for too long.

And if you’re really honest with yourself, Bucky would be a great choice as a donor. He’s in great health, has strong features that would look wonderful on any gender. But would you be able to handle the repercussions of having his child? Would you be able to look at your baby and see those features without it sending a pang through your chest every single time? You can’t say for certain.

Yet, the chance to have that type of connection with him, selfishly, sounds too good to pass up.

“At least think about it for a few days,” you murmur reluctantly.

It’s the most acceptance he’ll get and he knows it. A smile blooms across his face and you have to swallow down the warring emotions rising within you.

***

With the amount of research you do on the subject now, it doesn’t take long for you to find out that there are at-home kits for artificial insemination that are much easier (and cheaper). It’s easy to settle on that, clicking on the info to order your kit with butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

You read through the instructions online and it all sounds simple enough, until you get to the part where it says that having an orgasm after injection helps increase your chances of conception.

Blinking, heat crawling up your neck, you read that step several times, hoping you read it wrong, but it doesn’t change.

You… You can’t masturbate with Bucky’s sperm inside you. That’s a line you refuse to cross.

And besides, he’s a healthy man in his thirties who exercises regularly and eats fairly healthy food! You probably—definitely—won’t need to take that step. It’ll be fine. Probably.

Once the kit arrives, you call Bucky and ask him to come over so you can explain the process to him. Since he’s only across the hall of your apartment building, he’s there a moment later, letting himself in with his key.

“Let’s make a baby,” is how he greets you.

“Hold your horses,” you reply, fighting back a laugh. “I gotta walk you through everything first.”

He plops himself down next to you on your couch. “Fine, fine. Go ahead.”

Squaring your shoulders, you begin telling him how it all works, and what parts he is key for. You speak through your awkwardness, avoiding eye contact, when you explain that he’ll need to masturbate into a clean, sterile cup. You leave out how it’s suggested for you to also masturbate, deciding it’s not pertinent information for him to know.

“When do we start?” he asks once you’re done.

“I have to take an ovulation test first to find out the best days for me to conceive, but once I do that we’ll be able to, um.” You gesture vaguely. “I’ll be able to do the injections.”

He nods. “Alright.” He looks at you then, taking your hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be here every step of the way, okay?”

“I know,” you say, smiling. “Thank you, Bucky.”

“You’re welcome,” he returns softly.

“No, really, thank you,” you assert. “This is a lot to take on and I can never fully repay you.”

Bucky shakes his head. “I want you to be happy, and I can see that having this baby is going to do that. I’ll do whatever I need to do to ensure it happens.”

You pull him into a hug, willing yourself to not cry. You’re not sure he’ll ever understand what this means for you, personally, or that you’d ever find a way to express it. He’s giving you so much more than just a baby.

***

The first injection time comes and you find yourself fidgeting where you sit as you wait for Bucky to bring over the, uh… sample. You do your best to not think about what he’s doing in his apartment, to not think about exactly how he’s collecting his sperm.

Now is not the time, you mentally scold yourself. Get it together.

A timid knock at your door alerts you to his presence. The fact he’s knocking says a lot about his own level of embarrassment about the situation.

His cheeks are pink when you open the door. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” you return.

He clears his throat and lifts the small cup in his hand. “Here’s… well, you know.”

You gingerly take it from him, not knowing what else to say, but when he smiles somewhat crookedly and turns to leave, you find yourself asking, “Will you stay?”

Bucky’s steps pause. “Huh?”

“Will you—I mean… Would you mind staying?” You shift on your feet. “This is a big moment for me. I-I don’t want to do it alone.”

“Are you asking me to…?” He trails off awkwardly.

“Oh! God, no, I wouldn’t—no,” you assure, huffing a laugh, “I’m doing the injection, I just need a little moral support. That’s all.”

Bucky smiles. “Sure, I’ll stay.”

Relief floods through you. You step aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. He follows you to your bedroom and just before entering you stop in your tracks, nearly causing Bucky to bump into you.

“Um,” you mutter, turning to him. “You’ll have to, ah, sit out here,” you explain. “I have to be lying down…”

Understanding dawns on him. “Oh! Right, right, of course. Sorry.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m done,” you promise.

He nods and watches you close the door. You walk over to your bed and sit down, glancing at the syringe you’ll be using and biting the inside of your cheek.

This is it. There’s really no going back after this. Sure, you may not get pregnant the first time, but Bucky’s already said he’d help you for as long as it takes. It’s just… very real now. You don’t feel any doubts, though. You want this.

Inhaling a large breath and slowly letting it out, hands shaking, you take the lid off the cup and pick up the syringe. You remember the instructions, making sure there’s as little air sucked in as possible when you draw out the semen, and getting rid of the few air bubbles that you see. You grab your pillows and lie down, propping them beneath you to lift your hips.

“Here I go,” you mumble to yourself, taking another deep breath and releasing it.

A couple minutes later, the syringe is empty and you’ve got your legs pulled up to your chest. You cover yourself with your blanket and call out Bucky’s name.

“You okay?” you hear through the door.

“Will you come here, please?” you ask.

He walks in cautiously, making sure you’re decently covered before entering fully, wisely not commenting on your position. “Well?”

“I did it,” you whisper.

He stays quiet, letting you parse through your thoughts. You blink when you feel tears threatening to gather in your eyes. He’s beside you in an instant, crawling in the bed and lying down, taking your hand in his.

“Congratulations,” he says softly.

“Don’t congratulate me yet,” you reply, sniffing and wiping at your eyes.

“Still,” he presses. “You’re one step closer now.”

He pulls your hand up and kisses the back of it. You give him a watery smile. The two of you lay there in silence for a moment before Bucky breaks it.

“This isn’t how I pictured myself making a baby.”

It startles a laugh out of you and Bucky grins, pleased to have helped ease the tense atmosphere. He distracts you with idle conversation after that, talking about his plans for the upcoming weekend, asking about yours, tells you about the newest stupid thing Sam did; he talks and talks and talks, until your anxiety is gone, and then he stays to cook dinner for you.

Your hug when he gets ready to head back to his apartment lasts a couple minutes longer than usual. Bucky quietly allows it, dropping a kiss on your forehead when you pull away.

“Same time next week?” he jokes, making you crack a smile.

“Goodbye, Bucky,” you reply exasperatedly as you close your door.

“Bye, sweetheart,” he returns over his shoulder.

***

Weeks pass. More injections. Pregnancy tests taken.

But nothing happens.

All of your tests come back negative.

When reading up on artificial insemination, and pregnancy in general, you’d understood that there was a chance it wouldn’t happen right away. You thought you were fine with that, that you’d be alright with the waiting and all. Looking at your growing collection of negative tests, however, has a sense of dread building within you. You do your best to quell it, telling yourself there’s no need to stress over it. Yet.

Besides, your mind supplies in an overly cheerful manner, there’s still one more method to try!

***

The next time Bucky brings over his sample, he lets himself in, like always, and passes along the cup with an encouraging smile. You try to smile back, but it feels more like a grimace. He either doesn’t notice or he at least pretends not to, thankfully.

But when he goes to make himself comfortable to wait, you’re reminded that you haven’t told him about the, uh… change in procedure, so to speak.

You clear your throat delicately. “I don’t think you’ll need to stick around this time.”

Bucky frowns. “Why not?”

“Because…” You trail off, cheeks pinking, yet not finishing the sentence, because how do you explain this?

“I promised you I’d be here every step of the way,” he recalls. “I intend to keep that promise.”

You wince. “I really appreciate where your heart is, Bucky, I really do, but I literally cannot let you be here for this injection.”

“Why not?”

You look heavenward for mercy. “I have to…”

When you don’t finish your sentence again, Bucky raises a single brow, gesturing for you to go on. “You have to… what?”

You huff, throwing your arms out. “I have to orgasm, okay?”

His eyes go a little bit wide, but you can tell he tries to control his reaction. He swallows, shifting where he sits on the couch.

“Oh,” he mumbles. “Have… have you had to do that before?”

“No. Well, I mean, it was suggested, but I never…”

His eyebrows furrow. “Does it help or something?”

You absently scratch your neck. “They say it increases the chances of conception.”

“But you haven’t been doing… that.”

“I didn’t think I’d need to.”

Bucky inhales like he’s going to say something, but then doesn’t.

“Yeah, so, I don’t think you should be here,” you utter, quickly adding, “No offense.”

“No, yeah, that’s fair, um. I’ll just—I’ll head back to my apartment,” he states as he stands. “You can—I mean, if you still want me to—I can come back over? After you… uh…”

“I’ll let you know,” you reply, voice tight and high.

He nods, looking lost and like he wants to say more but thinks better of it. Finally, he mutters a soft bye and is out the door.

Alone now, your stomach feels like it’s tying itself in knots and your heart is doing its damnedest to beat out of your chest. You try to tell yourself that it’s just another injection, that this is the same as any other time you've done this, but you know it’s not. It's really, really not.

Laying down on your bed, syringe in hand, is much more nerve wracking than before. On your left lies a new addition to your routine. You don’t know why you’re acting like such a prude all the sudden. It’s not like you’ve never masturbated before. Though, you suppose the major difference is that you didn’t have Bucky’s sperm hangin’ out in your vagina all those other times while you did it.

“Quit being such a goober about this,” you tell yourself.

This has to be done for a reason. If you want to have a baby—and you do, very badly—then you’re gonna have to deal with the process.

Once you’ve injected the sperm, you reach for your bullet vibrator next to your left hand. The instructions say not to insert anything, only to stimulate your clit. You try to clear your head, think of it as a chore or something, yet it’s hard not to think of a certain someone.

The vibrator buzzes with the press of a button. You adjust your hips, making sure they’re tilted, then bring the vibrator to your clit. The first touch makes your stomach tense and thighs spasm.

You close your eyes, running the toy along your slit. You really don’t want to drag this out, would prefer to get it over with as quickly as possible, but your mind begins running away with images.

Bucky, settled between your spread thighs, one hand resting on one of them, the other controlling the vibrator. You imagine he’d tease you, slowly trail it along the crease of your thighs, over your hips; everywhere but where you wanted it.

Bucky would probably give in once you whine and beg enough, once your desperation bled into your voice, and hold the vibrator directly to your clit, drink in your cries of pleasure like they’re the finest whisky.

He’d mutter soft but firm encouragement, tell you how good you’re doing, how good you sound. He’d start circling the vibrator, going from quick to lazy swirls, then he’d change the setting to a higher one just to hear you whimper. His free hand would run up your torso to pinch at your nipples for added stimulation.

When you imagine him leaning down to add his tongue into the mix, your mind blanks as your climax hits you, a ragged moan forcing its way out of your throat. You’re quick to turn the vibrator off and toss it to the floor, deciding you’ll worry about cleaning it later, chest heaving as you pant for breath after an intense orgasm.

Shame and embarrassment consume you, mock you for using Bucky to rub one out. You’d given in to the fantasy so easily.

Truthfully, it’s not the first time you’ve thought of him while pleasuring yourself, but the context this time is completely different, and you feel immediately guilty. Admittedly, it’s probably irrational.

That doesn’t stop you from cringing at your actions.

***

You’re sure you’ve bought out the entire pregnancy test section from the convenience store down the block. Currently, there are six different brands in front of you, all promising the most accurate results.

Bucky is sitting in your bedroom, quietly waiting for you to pee on all of them so you can both find out what they say. You chug the last bit of your third bottle of water even though your bladder is fit to burst at any moment. Turning the faucet on for modesty, you make quick work of the tests, then wash your hands.

And wait.

You call Bucky into the bathroom with you. The two of you quietly sit on the edge of your bathtub, counting down the minutes. Part of you wishes Bucky would say something dumb to break the tension, like he usually does, but you're also kind of glad he's just here, next to you, a silent comfort.

It seems like hours have passed when you’re finally sure you can check them.

The first one is negative, and so is the second. The third, however, reads positive. Your heart begins racing, clutching at the counter, but before your hopes get too carried away you read the rest. To your dismay, they are all negative. You stare down at them all, eyes falling on the loan positive test multiple times, knowing that it’s likely a false positive, yet stupidly hoping otherwise.

Your chin wobbles. Bucky hugs you from behind, resting his cheek on your shoulder.

“What do I do, Bucky?”

At your broken whisper, he sighs. “I don’t know, sweetheart.”

Neither of you know what to say or do after that. Bucky continues offering quiet support, his solid presence at your back, and you’re grateful. Eventually, he leads you out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, sitting you down at the table as he starts preparing dinner.

When you’re both eating the spaghetti he made, he breaks the silence.

“Do you think…” he starts, pausing to think of how to phrase his question before carefully carrying on. “Are you going to stop?”

“I don’t want to,” you answer, the implied but hanging heavy in the air.

Bucky sits his fork down. “I know you want this, very much.” He pushes his hair out of his face as he leans forward, elbows settling on the table. “But I hate seeing how sad you get when the tests come out negative. I feel so… powerless. Like I could be doing more or something.”

“You’re doing all you can, Bucky,” you assure.

“That’s the thing, though. I don’t think I am.”

You frown. “What do you mean?”

He licks his lips, locking his fingers together. “I think we should have sex.”

Your fork drops to your plate with a clang, eyes going wide.

“I apologize for how blunt that came out,” he states with a wince. “But, I mean, think about it. You’ve only been using my sperm from a syringe, and up until the last time, you hadn’t been, um, orgasming with it.” You look away, bashful. “I just wonder if maybe trying the old-fashioned way would give you better results.”

“Bucky,” you start, opening and closing your mouth a couple times before shaking your head. “It’s one thing for you to offer your sperm, which I’m thankful for, truly, but… Having sex?”

“I’ve already told you I’m willing to do whatever I need to do,” he retorts earnestly. “Your happiness means a lot to me, okay? I hate sitting around and watching your heart break every week. You’ve tried it your way, now I think we should try mine.”

“I-I don’t know,” you hesitate, chewing on the inside of your cheek, knee beginning to bounce under the table.

His hand slides onto your knee, stilling the movement as he ducks his head to meet your gaze. His eyes are impossibly sincere and your resolve crumbles in an instant.

“It won’t… It’s not going to change anything,” he assures. “I won’t allow it.”

You swallow roughly. He may not, but your heart is going to take its toughest beating yet. It’s going to be hopeless trying to overcome the inevitable emotions that come with sex.

Even so, somehow, your longing for a baby eclipses all of this. Now that you’ve imagined holding your child in your arms, raising them and loving them, you can’t go back. Not anymore.

“Okay,” you allow, softly.

Bucky’s shoulders relax, lips tipping up into a devastating smile.

You’re so fucked. (Pun intended.)

***

Two nights later, you’re pacing in your bedroom, impatiently waiting for Bucky to arrive. You’d been unsure whether or not you should dress up. You didn’t see the point, honestly. Still, a small part of you wondered what his reaction would be if he saw you all done up in lingerie. At the moment, you’re in an oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts.

It’s Bucky, you think, and this isn’t a normal situation, it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing.

You hear his key turning in the lock then and your heart begins hammering away. He calls your name as he enters.

“In here,” you reply, twisting your fingers nervously.

He walks into your room looking just as on edge as you are. He also seems to have had the same idea about his attire, comfortable in his white tee and sweatpants. His feet are bare and for whatever reason that feels way more intimate than it has any right to.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hi.”

You bite your lip, eyes flitting around your room and coming back to settle on Bucky. He huffs.

“This is ridiculous,” he declares, “It’s just us.”

“Right,” you nod, biting the inside of your cheek.

“It’s not gonna be weird.”

“Nope.”

His jaw ticks. You stare back at him. It only takes a moment for you to realize that somebody has to make the first move, so you steel yourself and turn on your heel, walking towards your bed.

“I’m keeping my shirt on,” you announce as you unceremoniously drop onto the mattress, grabbing your pillows to stuff them under you.

Bucky follows at a sedate pace, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. He pauses next to you, taking a second to roll his shoulders, then he climbs in and settles in front of your bent legs. He gingerly places his hands on your knees.

“May I?” he asks.

Mouth suddenly dry, you nod. He moves his hands to the waistband of your shorts and tugs. You lift your hips to help him slide them down and off, along with your underwear. Gently, he spreads your legs.

Your breathing has picked up considerably, eyes firmly trained on the ceiling. You know you’re already wet and are blessedly thankful he doesn’t mention it.

The first slide of his fingers has you inhaling sharply. He slowly gathers your slick and trails it up to your clit, lightly circling it. Your mind recalls your fantasy, but you quickly shove it back to the depths of your thoughts, lest you do something idiotic like tell him about it.

He spreads your legs more, adjusting his position between them. His fingers move down until he can sink one into you. You gasp, hands shooting out to grasp your sheets. He wastes no time and begins thrusting his finger inside you.

It becomes quickly apparent to you that it’s going to be very difficult to hold back any noise or reactions. Goddamnit, you will try, though!

When he decides it’s time to add another finger, you feel yourself clench around them, and his soft fuck does not go unnoticed, evident in the way your pussy traitorously clenches again.

“Can I…?” he asks, voice cracking, but doesn’t finish his thought, making you have to break your staring contest with the ceiling and look at him.

He’s not even looking back at you, he’s staring at his fingers, watching them pump in and out of you, half bent over with a slack jaw, like he wants to…

He meets your eyes then, licking his lips.

Oh.

Swallowing around the sudden lump in your throat, knowing you’re probably going to regret it, you nod.

He’s leaning over and sucking on your clit before you can even blink. You cry out, thighs trying to clamp around his head, but his free hand shoots out to hold you open. It makes you squirm, fisting the sheets even tighter. His fingers curl inside you as his tongue licks around them and you whine, high and needy, and then mouth is back on your clit, tongue swiping over it, sucking on it with loud, obscene noises.

His hand comes up to grab the hem of your shirt, shoves it upward until it’s bunched underneath your breasts. Those fingers ghost back down your torso, goosebumps erupting in their wake.

He speeds up his thrusts and your hand flies down to grip his hair. You don’t think you’re meant to hear the quiet grunt he lets out, but you do, and it has you panting even harder. Your orgasm is building, fast, and you pull on his hair in warning.

“Bucky,” you say on a gasp.

Using his arm to hold you down, his free hand joins, thumb swiping over your clit now as he dips his head to slide his tongue in alongside his fingers. It draws a yell out of you, the ever expanding pleasure within you bursting into the hardest orgasm you’ve experienced thus far in your adult life. You know you’re moaning, bucking into the sensations coursing through you, and you’d feel abashed if you didn’t feel so fucking good.

Before you can become too sensitive, Bucky withdraws his fingers and sits up. You can’t even really catch your breath, though, because in the next second he’s whipping his t-shirt off and shoving his sweatpants down far enough to free his cock.

Your thighs do clamp closed then, at the sight of how thick he is, and he tries and fails to keep his smirk hidden.

“Oh, shut up,” you wheeze.

“Didn’t say anything,” he counters.

He doesn’t let you argue, choosing that moment to shuffle closer and line up with your opening. Cautiously, he eases himself inside, inch by inch. Your mouth drops open, brows furrowing as he fills you, stretching you so perfectly. When he’s in as far as he can go, the breath wooshes out of him, his head falling back. You know he’s trying to be polite and let you adjust, but—

“Oh my god, move,” you demand, impatient.

He huffs a laugh, dropping his heavy lidded gaze to yours. “Bossy.”

“Did you really expect anything else—oh!”

The grin he aims your way after grinding into you is downright sinful. You mentally tell yourself to kick him for that later.

He grabs your hips and the pillows and settles you closer to his lap, changing the angle, then pulls out and glides back in, creating a painstakingly slow rhythm.

You have to close your eyes. You can’t look at him anymore. You knew he was probably a god in bed, but to now have firsthand experience? There was no way you’d be able to fuck anyone else without comparing them.

His grip on your hips tightens, the only warning you get before his thrusts turn sharp.

“Fuck,” you cry out, your hands reaching up to grip the pillow beneath your head.

The sound of your skin meeting his is harsh in the otherwise quiet room. Well, okay, you’re not exactly being quiet, but you can’t be blamed for that.

Bucky, however, is nearly silent. The only thing you hear from him is heavy breathing. You wonder if he’s holding back, the thought crossing your mind for a split second, and then you’re clenching around his cock, trying to see if you can gain a reaction. And boy, do you get one.

He grunts and sucks in a breath, lips parting as his eyes squeeze shut. His hips pick up their pace and hair falls into his face. You find yourself wishing he was closer so you could brush it out of the way.

Stop it, you scold yourself.

He pauses to grind into you again, your walls fluttering around his throbbing cock, and you both sigh. Bucky leans forward, hooking your legs into the crooks of his elbows, and resumes his brutal pace.

“O-Oh,” you whimper.

The new angle is heavenly, his cock dragging along a spot inside you that you thought nobody else could find. Unable to help yourself, you clutch at his arms, nails digging in.

“Shit,” he groans, thrusts faltering.

He lets go of one of your legs to slip his hand between you, rubbing at your clit and sending you that much closer to your second orgasm. He can tell you’re close, but you’re gonna need something to push you over the edge. He leans down even closer, breath fanning out against your cheek.

“C’mon,” he pants. “Let go.”

You shiver when his tongue flicks your earlobe and sucks it into his mouth, keening as the pressure builds. He thrusts harder, faster, and when you grasp his hair and pull, he growls and latches on to your shoulder, biting down. You gasp from the added pain and then you’re coming, shuddering and whining through your release. Bucky isn’t far behind, raising up and fucking into you savagely before pausing abruptly, groaning as he finally comes. He lazily thrusts a few more times to draw it out, then stops, stilling with his cock inside you.

Your hair is sticking to your forehead, as well as your shirt to your clammy back, breathing in lungfuls of air. Bucky is softly caressing your thighs, letting out shaky breaths as your pussy continues to flutter around him.

It takes several moments for you to gather your wits, for the rest of the world to come filtering back in. You are truly and completely fucked now, in every sense of the word.

“Well…” You trail off, voice scratchy.

“That was…”

“Mhm,” you mumble.

Bucky sighs heavily. “Let’s hope it worked this time.”

You hum. “Thank you for your service,” you reply with a lazy salute.

You yelp when he pinches your hip, kicking at him in retaliation. The jostling reminds you, with a gasping groan, that he’s still buried balls deep inside you.

“Um.” You cough lightly. “You wanna, you know… pull out?”

He looks down where you’re connected like it hadn’t even dawned on him. “Oh, uh. Well, I thought maybe it could, like. Help.”

His gaze stays locked, fingers flexing on your hips, and you feel like squirming again.

“I think it’s good,” you say quietly.

Bucky finally glances back up at your shy tone, cheeks pinking. He clears his throat.

“Right.”

Carefully, he eases his softening cock out of you, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from making a noise.

You can’t hold back yours, though, gasping once he’s gone. You feel unbearably empty, but refrain from voicing that incessant thought.

Bucky’s intense eyes stare at your pussy until you reach for the throw blanket next to you. He watches you throw it over your lap, drawing your legs up to your chest, and takes that as his cue, jolting into action.

“Okay, so.” He starts, then stops, climbs off your bed and pulls his sweatpants back up. “This was—I mean, if it doesn’t take this time, we can… try again.”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “Sounds good.”

He nods, bending to pick up his discarded t-shirt. “Great. I’ll just, um, see myself out, I guess.”

You nod, sending a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes in his direction. He seems to contemplate something for a second, then leans down to kiss your forehead before saying a quick goodbye and leaving.

As soon as you hear your apartment door shut, you let your tears fall.

***

It’s not really like you mean to avoid him after that.

Honest.

You simply become busy, that’s all. You definitely don’t go out of your way by taking the stairs in your apartment building to avoid possibly bumping into him in the elevator. No, you take the stairs because you could use the cardio. It’s important you stay healthy right now. And when he texts you to ask if you want to have dinner, you can’t help that you’ve got boatloads of work to catch up on—all five times he asks.

Okay, so, that’s a lie. You’re totally avoiding him. But what on earth are you supposed to say to him now? You don’t think you’d even be able to look him in the eye anymore, not after the fuck of your goddamn life.

That night confirmed what you already knew for the last two years: Bucky absolutely ruined you for anyone else.

More than anything, though, you were angry with yourself. He’d only offered because you weren’t getting your desired results the other way. You should have been able to separate your feelings and emotions from all of it. After all, none of this was about whatever you feel towards Bucky. This was about trying to conceive a baby.

You try telling yourself to get over it. He’s your best friend, you can’t just cut him off because you’re a spineless pansy.

I just need some time, you reason. You can give yourself a few days to wallow over what could have been and then you can reach out to him and pretend like everything is fine. Because it is.

***

Flash forward two weeks to you attempting to sneak into your apartment, only to jump out of your skin when you turn around and find Bucky sitting on your couch, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Oh, good, you’re still alive,” he drawls.

His tone suggests annoyance. You suppose you deserve that.

“Hey,” you say after a pause.

He stares at you for a moment longer before speaking again. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t let it get weird.”

You agreed, you almost say, thankfully biting it back. You drop your purse on the entryway table, sliding your shoes off and making your way over to sit next to him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. You tug your sweater sleeves down and tuck your feet beneath you. “I haven’t ever… I’ve never been intimate with a friend before. It was just… a lot.”

It’s a half truth, at least. You haven’t had sex with a friend before. Or, well, not one you had feelings for.

“You could’ve just told me,” he replies, reaching for your hand.

You nod. “I know, and I should have, I just. Things are all out of whack lately with the whole… trying to get pregnant thing.”

“If I overstepped in any way—” Bucky starts, but you’re quick to interrupt.

“You didn’t,” you promise. “You’ve been nothing but fantastic throughout this whole ordeal. Honestly, Bucky, you’ve done way more than anyone else would have in this situation. I just had a lot going on in my head and let it get the best of me. I’m fine, I swear.”

He searches your eyes and must find what he’s looking for.

“Don’t shut me out again,” he pleads.

Heart cracking in your chest, you can only nod, shuffling closer to pull him into a hug. He buries his face in your neck and holds on tight.

***

Another week passes.

Bucky is with you as you wait for the results of the latest pregnancy test. He’s reassured you that you’ll keep trying until it happens if it didn’t work this time.

When the timer on your phone goes off, you release the breath you’ve been holding. You take tentative steps over to the sink and gingerly pick up the test.

Positive.

Your stomach swoops. It’s positive. You check again, reading the digitized screen, but it stays the same. Positive. Holy shit.

“Okay, wait, no, I need to do more. I can’t get my hopes up again,” you mutter, rushing to open the cabinet under your sink to dig out several more varieties of tests.

You don’t even wait for Bucky to leave before you’re peeing on the other sticks. He’s seen it all at this point anyway, and he doesn’t seem to care, sitting on the edge of your tub with an anxious expression. The downside is that you have to wait another few minutes for these tests to finish and you can’t sit still, pacing back and forth in the small space of your bathroom.

The timer goes off again. You feel like you’re going to throw up when you finally work up the courage to look down.

Every single one of them… Positive.

A shocked, happy laugh escapes you. You cover your mouth, turning to Bucky with wide eyes.

He rises to his full height, coming closer and peering down at the tests, then back to your teary eyed expression.

“Did we…?”

Words failing you, you nod, giggling in astonishment. Bucky’s face breaks into the biggest, handsomest, most gut-wrenching smile. His happiness is palpable and you’re suddenly so overcome with emotion. Your hands are gripping his face and angling it to align your lips to his before you register what you’re doing. He freezes and you hurriedly pull away, taking a few steps back.

“I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know why—”

“Shut up,” he cuts you off, closing the gap between you in a single stride.

He kisses you like his life depends on it, pressing your bodies as close as possible, his hands cupping your cheeks. You clutch his shirt desperately, never wanting to let go. He steals the breath straight from your lungs when he swipes at the seam of your lips with his tongue, moaning happily when you allow him access. A feeble whine from you after he flicks his tongue against yours makes him break the kiss.

“I have a confession,” he breathes into the miniscule space between your mouths.

“What?” you question distractedly.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your gaze shoots up to his, astounded. He brushes stray hairs off your forehead, runs his thumbs softly under your eyes.

“I’ve been selfish this whole time,” he reveals. “I couldn’t let you choose some random stranger to be your sperm donor, to father your child, couldn’t bear the thought of you carrying their baby, because I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you. I wanted to be the one. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I’m not sorry I did it.”

You’re hearing the words, yet your brain can’t seem to make sense of them. Surely you’re hearing him wrong. You can’t possibly have this too, right? You can't have Bucky and have his baby…

But he’s here, very real and solid beneath your hands, looking at you like you’re his entire world.

“Bucky…” You trail off, struggling to find the right words, at a complete loss. “I-I’ve loved you for so long now, I didn’t think you…” You shake your head, a giggle escaping you as you stare at him in wonder. “I couldn’t let myself hope.”

He grins, relieved, planting a few chaste kisses to your mouth. “I know this entire circumstance is totally backwards, but I want you, and I want this baby. I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere.”

Fresh tears gather in the corners of your eyes. “Are you sure?” you still ask.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

You have to kiss him then, uncaring of the tears that trickle down your face. The only thing you are focused on is the way his hands trail down your back, pausing to squeeze your ass, then grip underneath to lift you. Your legs wrap around his waist, arms locked around his neck, as he heads for your bed. He makes a point of throwing your extra pillows on the floor before settling between your thighs and kissing the hell out of you.

He pulls away only to undress you and himself, but he’s always back as quickly as possible, lips pressing kisses wherever he can reach. You impatiently tug at him until his lips are attached to yours again. The way he fucks his tongue into your mouth is nothing short of indecent and it sends a rush of pure want all the way to your core.

When you bury your fingers in his hair, gripping it tight, he grunts, biting your lip. You whimper and he grins as he pulls away.

“You make the most beautiful sounds,” he praises, his hands beginning to sweep down and up, tickling under your breasts.

His thumb and forefinger pinch one of your nipples and you gasp, back arching off your mattress. He repeats it on the other side, just to hear the same noise.

“Bucky, please,” you beg.

“Please what?” he prods. His hands drift further to the creases of your thighs, spreading them open. “What do you need?”

You whine, canting your hips up. “You, I need you, please.”

“You have me, sweetheart.” He tilts his head and you make a noise of frustration. “Use your words, darlin’.”

“Fuck me, please,” you burst out, feeling your pussy clench around nothing.

Bucky smiles, slow and torturous. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you? Fuck this perfect pussy until you’re so full of my come that it drips down your beautiful thighs?”

“Oh god,” you mumble.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he teases.

His fingers slide down your slit, gathering your slick then thrusts two fingers in at once. You groan brokenly, shifting your hips to try and get more friction, but he holds them down with his metal arm. Agonizingly slow, he begins fucking you with his fingers. It’s good, it’s amazing, but it’s not enough. Not when you know what his cock feels like. He takes his precious time fingering you and you’re sure you’re going to lose your mind before the day is done.

“You have no idea how incredible you felt around my cock,” he tells you in a ridiculously conversational tone. “I was trying to think of any excuse I could come up with to have you at least one more time.”

He shifts until his mouth is directly above where you’re dripping for him, and he waits until you make eye contact with him.

“But now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making you come apart on my cock any chance I get.”

You hardly have any functioning brain cells at the moment, but even if you could form a coherent sentence you wouldn’t have been able to say it aloud, because then he’s descending and all you can feel is the wet warmth of his mouth.

He definitely doesn’t hold back this time, that much is apparent in the way he devours you, lips and tongue drawing out noises you’ve never heard yourself make, pressing his face so far into your pussy that he has to come up for air. His mouth and chin shine when you chance a look down, and when you clench on his fingers his smile goes smug at the corners.

He plants kisses along your hips, the insides of your thighs, around where his fingers are buried within you. He curls them, in search of the spot he found last time. He knows he found it when you try to close your thighs around his head and cry out. Now that he's found it, he angles to brush it on every thrust of his fingers and attaches his mouth back on your clit.

You chant his name, nearly sobbing as you approach your climax, until finally you fly over the edge. Your vision blurs and you’re not sure if you’re making any noise now, unable to hear past the blood rushing in your ears. Bucky helps you ride it out until you’re shuddering from sensitivity.

He kisses your thighs again, trailing them up your stomach and between the valley of your breasts.

“So good, did so well,” he mutters.

Weakly, you lift your hands to trace them down his toned stomach and around his back, down further so you can cop a feel of your own, smiling at his grunt of surprise.

“That was great and all,” you say, arching your back so your chest presses against his, “but I do believe I asked you to fuck me.”

He arches an eyebrow. “Who said I was done with you?” It’s apparently a rhetorical question, as he continues before you get a chance to reply. “I’m gonna fuck you until you come, and then I’m gonna keep fucking you until you come again, and only then will I come so deep inside you there’ll be zero doubt I’ve put a baby there.”

Your legs are lifted and thrown over his shoulders in a blink, his cock pushing into your pussy, dragging out a high-pitched moan from you. There’s barely a pause and then he’s fucking you, just like you asked. The pace is brutal right from the start, a steady rhythm that has you mewling and writhing in pleasure. Bucky is watching his cock as he thrusts in and out of you, his mouth hanging open slightly as he pants. He hikes your hips up a little higher and you jolt through your startled moan. This angle is divine and the telltale signs of your second orgasm start tingling at the base of your spine.

“Can feel you,” Bucky says through panting breaths, “so close. C’mon, let me feel you.”

He pulls you down on his cock, grinding into you, his thumb reaching to rub tight circles over your clit. You sob through your release, shuddering against Bucky as you clench around him. He groans, still barely moving as you come down from your high.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Come here.”

He helps you sit up, still seated on his cock, making you both hiss from your movement. Your arms automatically wrap around his shoulders and his around your waist. He kisses you so sweetly, a stark contradiction to the way he just fucked you. When you pull away, resting your foreheads together, he grins.

“Hi.”

You crack a smile. “Hi.”

“Ready for more?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You think you got it in you?” you tease as you play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

The light smack to your ass startles you and you let out a soft sound of surprise, hands tugging his hair harshly. Bucky’s eyes light up.

“Interesting,” he muses.

Another slap, a little harder than the first, and you’re whimpering, your walls clenching around his still hard cock.

“I’ll play with that later,” he promises, voice breathy.

You bury your face in his neck and start shifting your hips. He takes the hint, gathering you as close as he can and thrusts up into you. He can’t pull out as far this way, but the snap of his hips more than makes up for it. You mouth at his collarbone messily, kissing and licking your way up to his jaw, biting marks wherever you see fit. You make it up to his mouth and he kisses you, wet and filthy. You suck on his tongue and a ragged moan claws its way out of his throat. The need for air eventually has you pulling away.

“It’s a good thing you love me back,” you whisper in his ear. “Nobody else could ever compare to you.”

He growls, fisting your hair and yanking your head back to look him in the eye.

“Nobody will ever compare,” he corrects.

You moan. “Yes,” you agree, whining, “No one else could’ve given me a baby.”

Bucky thrusts harder and faster at your words. You’re picking up on a few hints and you can’t say it’s not doing it for you either.

“Filled me up so good, fucked me so well. Gonna be round with your baby soon.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he keens, hurrying to lay you flat on your back so he can fuck into you easier.

The sound of skin meeting skin fills the room, your cries of pleasure mixing in with Bucky’s grunts and curses. His grip on you tightens almost painfully as he chases both your and his orgasm. You’re sure to have bruises tomorrow and you already know you'll be poking at them to remember this moment.

“C’mon, baby, wanna feel you too,” you beg.

His thumb finds your swollen clit once more. It’s beyond sensitive now, feels like a shockwave coursing through you, and without any warning, you come. You spasm around Bucky and he swears under his breath, thrusts going sloppy. With a final groan, he comes inside you, his hips moving seemingly on their own as he draws out both your pleasures. Slowly, he comes to a stop, but he leaves his cock buried in you like he did last time.

You know you’re gonna feel too empty when he does pull out, so you don’t mind sitting like this for a while. Bucky softly runs his hands across every inch of your skin he can touch and you bask in the affection. You card your fingers through his sweaty hair, smiling when he hums happily. It takes only a minute for you to notice the way his hands migrate to your stomach, and when you do you kiss his shoulder.

“Maybe we should go again later,” you suggest faintly.

Bucky grins. “We can do it a hundred more times if you want.”

“Guess I better enjoy it while I can.”

His smile goes soft at the edges.

It’s not lost on you how incredibly crazy all of this is. There will undoubtedly be a conversation, a much needed one that isn’t going to be simple or easy, but it’s necessary.

For now, though, you bask in Bucky’s warmth and loving embrace.

***

Keys jingle as they unlock the door and you perk up where you’re sprawled on the couch. Bucky enters, arms laden with bags from the convenience store.

“They didn’t have the banana ice cream you asked for,” he announces, continuing before your pout fully forms, “but they did have the double chocolate brownie kind you love so much, so I got that, as well as the sour gummy worms, beef jerky, and fried pickles from the deli on your list of demands.”

“What about—”

“And your strawberry Fanta,” he adds with a fond, slightly exasperated smile.

You’re unable to stop your expression from going soft and dreamy.

Ever since you and Bucky figured out where to go with your relationship, he’s been even more attentive and accommodating (and that’s saying something).

You expressed your worry about the possibility of something going wrong, that one or both of you would get bored and leave, or there’d be a big fight that neither of you could forgive. He was quick to reassure you of his commitment, told you there was no way he would ever get bored of you, and that as long as you both promise to talk things out in a calm, mature way, then you’d be alright.

It all sounded so easy when it was put like that. The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized he was right. It wasn’t fair to either of you to already give up before you’d even started. So you’d taken a deep breath and leaped.

Now, you’re five and a half months in, your belly steadily growing and making everyday life increasingly uncomfortable. The changes to your body were physically and emotionally draining, to say the least. Moreso the emotional side. You’d hoped you wouldn’t be one of those pregnant women with strange cravings, and for the most part they were pretty tame, but you do like to dip your sour gummy worms in banana ice cream. Bucky didn’t attempt to hide his disgust over that.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you ask on a pleased sigh.

He places your small cornucopia of goods on the coffee table. You sit up, huffing for breath during the struggle. You go to reach for the ice cream first, but Bucky catches your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and kissing your knuckles as he kneels in front of you.

“You were yourself. Smart, kind, selfless, unbelievably sexy.” You snort at that, but he’s undeterred. “And you’re giving me the best gift I could ever dream of. A family.”

Instantly, you’re crying. He’s grown accustomed to the mood swings by now, taking it in stride as he wipes away the tears with gentle hands.

“Stop being so disgusting,” you blubber through your hiccuping cries. “You’re such an asshole.”

Bucky laughs. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

You sniffle, kissing him. “Love you,” you grumble.

He leans down and plants the softest of kisses to your belly. “And I love you, little lady.”

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and unlikely, but life has a way of turning out exactly how it’s supposed to… And you wouldn’t change a thing.

[monstacheol]

𝔄 𝔊𝔦𝔣𝔱 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔞 𝔊𝔬𝔡 (𝔗𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢𝔯)

ϟ 𝕻𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: God! Choi Seungcheol x Mortal afab! Reader

ϟ 𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: Your marriage wasn't the one to be envied. Marry to one of the ruthless kings due to an arrangement from your father. Being nothing more than a pawn. And you despise it all.

On the night of drinking and celebrating, you decided to turn in for the night. As you walk into your shared bedroom, you are greeted by a God, not just any other God. The God of Sky and Thunder. King of Gods himself. Who came with a gift.

ϟ 𝔚𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 937 (Teaser); 4k or more (Full)

ϟ 𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌: Dom Zeus! Seungcheol, Sub Lady! Mortal Reader, dirty talking, breeding kink, oral (f. & m receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms and multiple positions, small amount or maybe more manhandling, a bit of praise kink or more, unprotected sex (stay safe kids), crying from pleasure, size kink, choking, your "husband" talking badly about the gods, Pet name: (y/n): darling. (I feel like I miss something but if I am. Let me know)

ϟ 𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: To be listed…

ϟ 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖘: This was kind of inspired by a post I made and I thought about it and went "Yeah. Let's go for it." If there are some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry. I will edit them later. Supposed to be out in late September (before the hurricane hit Friday) but I MANAGE to get service so here we are. I promise I would get out and I took this chance to get out on luck. Please comment, like, reblog for support.

You sigh as your head presses against the frame, exhausted from the day's events.

"Long night!"

You heard a voice behind you. You turned around to see a mysterious man lying on his side across from your bed, a mischievous grin on his face. You felt a jolt of surprise at the man's unexpected presence in your bedroom. "Who are you?" you asked cautiously, your heart racing uncertainly. The man chuckled softly and replied, "I'm just someone who couldn't resist meeting you."

You glanced at the man's appearance. He had a white toga draped over his shoulder and a gold cuff wrapped around one of his biceps, which was exposed. His pec was exposed, while the other was concealed under the toga. His toga was short so that you could see his muscular legs. His eyes were pierced brown, and his smile was charming. His hair was black and wet, and he was breath-taking. The more you look at him, the more you find yourself drawn to his mysterious aura. You were so lost in thought that you heard him laugh.

"What's the matter, darling? Lost in thought?" he asks with a playful smirk.

You shook your head, cleared all your thoughts, and got to the question.

"W-What are you doing here? You are trespassing, and I would appreciate it if you left immediately," you stammer, feeling a mix of fear and fascination at the mysterious stranger in your room. The man chuckles, his grin widening as he replies.

"Oh, nothing. Just enjoying the celebration of your king's victory. As if your husband needed it," the man said.

A small scoff escaped his lips. "That your husband of yours," he continued.

"That man thinks we are not the reason behind his success. He's so power-hungry and incompliant that he can't even get on his knees and thank us after what we've done to make him victorious. I must say I don't think they'll be so happy to hear about that. It's a shame. Really. How ungrateful people can be," the man said with a hint of disappointment.

You listen as this man talks badly about your husband like he knows him. Before you could speak, he continued.

"But you, Lady Y/N."

You froze as the mysterious man said your name.

"You're such a loyal worshipper. You thank the gods for every endeavor and never falter in your devotion. A woman like you should be rewarded," the man expressed.

The way the man in front of you looks at you. It was like he was undressing you with his eyes. His gaze was intense and unwavering. You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you tried to maintain your composure.

"W-Who are you?" you said, asking again.

The man smirked at my question.

"I am known by many names. Zojz. Tinia. Jupiter. Zeus. But," the man said as he slowly rose from your bed, full of confidence, "you can call me Seungcheol."

Your eyes widen in shock as you realize the man's true identity. "M-My... God," you stammer, feeling two emotions at once: fear and awe wash over you. You instantly fall to the floor, bowing. "Please forgive me for any disrespect I may have shown," you say, bowing your head in reverence.

Seungcheol chuckled softly, his grin widening at your reaction. A loyal follower, he thought to himself. He slowly approached you as you kowtowed before him, his presence towering over you. "Rise," he commanded gently, offering a hand to help you stand. As you looked up at him, you couldn't help but feel an admiration and reverence for the god standing before you.

"There will be no formalities," he said. As you take his hand and stand up, Seungcheol's eyes twinkle with amusement. He was taller than you expected, and his presence exuded a sense of power and authority that made you feel equally intimidated and intrigued.

"My god."

You were speechless. You didn't know what to say, and the words hadn't even begun to form. Seungcheol noticed your awe and chuckled softly.

"You seem lost in words right now, darling," Seungcheol said. His deep voice resonated through you, sending shivers down your spine. It was as if he could read your thoughts and emotions with just a glance.

"I-It's just that I didn't expect such a sudden visit," you stammered, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Would you like me to leave?" he asked. You shake your head quickly. "N-No. Please stay. I didn't mean—"

"Don't worry, darling," Seungcheol interrupted with a reassuring smile. "Just teasing you a bit."

His smile was gentle and warm, putting you at ease. He then stepped away from you and trailed around the room. Taking in everything about his surroundings, even looking at the unfinished tapestry mounted on the wall. With a persistent and powerful head, he strolled around.

"Besides, I didn't want to leave without giving you a gift," Seungcheol stated.

A gift... for you...

"W-What kind of gift?" is all you can manage to stammer out of. "A special one," he answered.

"How special is the gift?" you asked, curious. Seungcheol finally stopped walking and turned back to you with a mysterious glint in his eyes, making your heart race with anticipation.

"What if I told you that your gift, your special little gift, was something that I wanted to show you? To thank you for showing such admiration for me?" Seungcheol responded with a mischievous smile. Your mind raced with possibilities as you waited for him to reveal the surprise he had in store for you.

"What if I said your gift was me?

⋘ READ NOW ⋙

[schlattslambo]

hot for teacher | schlatt 18+

A/n: this has truly been burning my brain. reader is female presenting. I will work on some more gender neutral stuff in the future I promise!! Please enjoy<3

C/w: spanking, name calling (slut), power dynamic (teacher x student), spitting, use of daddy towards the end

——————————

Why you decided to go back to college to get another degree, you have no idea. All you know is that this class is boring as hell and you aren’t sure why it’s even needed for your degree. The only upside was the fact that it was your first class of the day so you could get it over with. Plus the professor was kind of hot too.

It’s a warm day today, way warmer than it should be for this time of year, so you decide to show a little skin to your writing class. Your skirt is just long enough to cover your ass, and your shirt is low cut and cropped. Honestly, it’s like you’re not even wearing a shirt at all.

You walk into the classroom, plopping down in the back like you usually do.

“Ms (y/n),” Your professor says from the front of the room. “Come and see me please.”

You roll your eyes. Mr Schlatt might be hot, but he was strict. He didn’t allow gum chewing, eating or drinking - except water, of course- and locked his classroom 5 minutes after it was meant to start so nobody who was late could get in. He constantly got under your skin about your writing and your formatting, and was seeming to start early with his criticisms of you today.

“Yes, Mr Schlatt?” You ask, crossing your arms.

“Did you leave the rest of your clothes at home?” Mr Schlatt asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, stupid, this is it.” You scoff.

Mr Schlatt could take a lot, but seeing you like that, acting all defiant and shit pissed him off. He wanted to knock you down a peg or two. His jaw works as he glares at you.

“What do you want?” You ask.

“I wanted to see you because your last essay was all over the place.” Mr Schlatt says. “It had a good foundation, but it could use some work.”

“Did I fail the assignment, or what?” You snap. “I worked hard on that essay!”

“You would receive a 50, which is failing,” Mr Schlatt pauses. “This essay is a large part of your grade, and your grade is already low enough as it is.”

“What??” You yelp. “How could I fail?! This is ridiculous!”

“I want you to redo the essay.” Mr Schlatt adds, reaching into his desk and pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to you. “This is an essay template. I’d like for you to come in during any free time that you have and work on it with me.”

You glare at him. “I’m not redoing that fucking essay.” You growl.

Mr Schlatt’s eyes darken in a way that you’ve never seen before. He takes off his glasses and places them down gently before his eyes go back to you. Your eyes widen slightly at how scary he looks.

“First off, you do not speak to me like that.” Mr Schlatt says. “Second, you will be redoing this essay. It is not a full rewrite, it is just a large edit. If you do not do this, you will receive a zero for it. And that zero would make you fail the class and you will not graduate. Am I clear?”

Your eyes widen. Surely he’s joking. This is college for fucks sake! He can’t have this power over you. Especially over some essay.

“You can’t do that!” You yell.

“I can and I will,” Mr Schlatt says. “Now, from what I’ve learned over the course of the semester is that you typically have some free time around 1pm. I’d like you to come back here at 1 so we can go over this work.”

With that, Mr Schlatt dismisses you. You stomp over to your seat and plop down, taking out your phone. You barely work in the class out of defiance, but catch Mr Schlatt glancing at you. You glare at him and he just shakes his head, leaning over to help another student.

Two classes later, you figure it’s best to just go back to Mr Schlatt’s classroom. You need to graduate. You hate college and want to get out as fast as possible. You barge into the room, making Mr Schlatt look up at you. He heaves a sigh.

You have to be Mr Schlatt’s least favorite student, but he cannot stop thinking about how you need to be put in your place. You are a student, and he is a professor. He deserves respect, and you’re going to give him that respect one way or another.

“Glad to see that you came back,” Mr Schlatt says.

It’s the end of his day and his tie is loosened, his sleeves are rolled up, and his hair is messy. You sit in the seat across from his desk and look at him while he finishes scribbling something down. Turning the paper over, he looks at you.

“Let’s get this over with.” You sigh.

The first few minutes of the edit are simple enough. You sigh and try and add in the notes that Mr Schlatt left for you.

“This is stupid,” You grumble. “Why can’t you just pass me?”

“I want you out of my class just as much as you want to get out of it,” Mr Schlatt says. “But I can’t just pass you because you want to leave. You have to earn that right.”

You sit quietly for a moment, then a smirk breaks out on your face.

“Is there any other way that you could pass me?” You ask, twirling some hair around your finger.

Mr Schlatt’s eyes narrow. “No,” He grits. “Now finish writing.”

Thankfully for him, you don’t notice Mr Schlatt’s pants becoming tighter at the crotch. You’re pushing his limits and if you don’t stop soon, you’re going to be pushed into his office’s supply closet and taught a lesson.

“You’re too hot to be this rude,” You grumble.

“You’re too old to be this defiant.” Mr Schlatt snaps back. “You have two seconds to continue this last paragraph or I’m kicking you out and you can fail the class.”

You look up at him and smirk. “Make me.”

The band holding Mr Schlatt back snaps and he stands up, slamming his palms on the wooden desk.

“Get into my office,” He growls. “Now.”

You jump at the loud noise as your eyes widen. You stare up at Mr Schlatt dumbfounded.

“Did I stutter?” He asks. “Get up and get into my office.”

You stand up so quickly that the chair that you were sitting in nearly falls over. Mr Schlatt leads you into his office and closes the door, locking it. You’re speechless, but the slowly growing puddle in your panties speaks volumes.

With two long strides, Mr Schlatt is inches from your face. He’s so close that you can smell the whiskey that he puts in his coffee to deal with students like you. Your knees nearly give out but you lean against the wall.

“You’ve been pushing me and pushing me (y/n).” Mr Schlatt breathes. “I’m so close to losing control.”

You smile softly. “Then lose control.” You reply.

“You sure about that, dollface?” Mr Schlatt smirks. “I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it.”

“Try me.” You reply.

In a swift motion, you’re grabbed and bent over the wooden desk in Mr Schlatt’s office. He kicks your ankles apart and presses his crotch against your ass, yanking your hair back. You gasp and bite your lip.

“Now, (y/n),” Mr Schlatt breathes. “This is your last chance to back out.”

“No way.” You sigh.

“Stubborn little slut,” Mr Schlatt grumbles, landing a harsh smack on your ass. “Now be fuckin’ quiet. Can’t have anyone hearing what a slut you are.”

Before you can respond, Mr Schlatt’s thick fingers find their way between your legs and to your swollen clit. Your knees finally give out, but thankfully you’re lying on the desk.

“Oh fuck,” you whine.

“You’re already so wet,” Mr Schlatt smirks. “Is this from being a defiant brat?”

You can’t help but nod as he presses against the nub, pleasure shooting through you. You yelp as your shorts and panties are ripped down, exposing your ass.

“I think you need an attitude adjustment, don’t you?” Mr Schlatt leans down, his breath hot against your ear.

You watch as he grabs a ruler off of the desk and you squirm against him.

“No!” You manage. “I don’t need an attitude adjustment!”

Mr Schlatt ignores you and pins your hands behind your back. Your eyes screw shut and you whimper softly. The defiance is gone and your clit throbs as you wait for the ruler to smack your ass.

“Count ‘em for me, slut.” Mr Schlatt says before the ruler comes down on your ass with a harsh slap.

“Fuck!” You yelp. “One.”

Smack.

Smack.

SMACK.

The ruler snaps as tears begin to fall. Mr Schlatt tosses the other piece of the ruler to the side before rubbing a soothing hand on your ass.

“Now, have you learned your lesson?” Mr Schlatt asks, releasing your wrists.

“Mhm.” You sniffle.

“Atta girl.” Mr Schlatt praises. “Now since you took that so well, turn over.”

He helps you turn onto your back and as soon as you’re facing him, he kneels.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“Rewarding you, the fuck’s it look like I’m doing?” Mr Schlatt asks, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh.

His facial hair tickles slightly, making goosebumps rise on your skin. The closer his kisses get to your center, the more desperate you get. You’re nearly dripping on the desk now and can barely take anymore. So, you grip Mr Schlatt’s hair and tug, shoving his face into your cunt. He grunts in surprise but then starts licking.

He switches from soft featherlike licks to harsh sucking. You look down at the man between your legs, and he’s flushed, eating you out like it’s his last goddamn meal. He’s slurping up your juices and the way his eyes are closed and his arms are wrapped around your thighs bring you closer.

“F-fuck, Mr Schlatt…” You moan. “You feel so good.”

Mr Schlatt looks up at you and his pupils are blown. His normal chocolate brown eyes are nearly black as he pulls away from your pussy, a string of juices and saliva connecting the two of you.

“Daddy.” He rasps.

“Huh?”

“Call me Daddy.”

You smile down and grip his hair, shoving his face back where you need it most. The action makes his cock twitch in his pants and precum dot at his tip. A harsh suck on your clit makes you arch your back.

“Daddy, fuck!” You mewl. “Keep doing that.”

Mr Schlatt groans against you, reaching up and probing your wet hole with his thick finger. He slides it in effortlessly and is quick to find the spot that makes your vision blur.

Your thighs clench on his head as you feel the tightness in your stomach. The grip that you have on his hair is like iron as you grind your hips. Your orgasm hits you like a truck, your hole squeezing Mr Schlatt’s finger like a vice. He allows you to ride it out, the noises you’re making only driving him closer to his own orgasm.

With one minor leg adjustment, Mr Schlatt’s cock brushes against his zipper just right and he cums. He groans against you, hips thrusting into nothing. He’s sure he looks pathetic, but he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s got his hottest student’s pussy in his mouth right now.

He pulls back once you’re done and stands up. You gasp as he grips your jaw with a smile.

“Open.” He orders.

You allow your jaw to go slack and Mr Schlatt allows a big glob of spit to land in your mouth. You swallow, tasting yourself.

“Good girl.” Mr Schlatt praises, patting your cheek.

“Am I gonna pass?” You ask, looking up at him through your lashes.

“We might have to have a few more meetings to go over things, but I think you’ll manage a passing grade.”

You leave Mr Schlatt’s office that afternoon and walk off, your clit still throbbing. You’re sure the next few meetings aren’t going to be nearly as boring as you thought they would be.

[simp-ly-writes]

Safehouse

Pairing: Platonic!Task Force 141 x Reader

Summary: When a mission goes south, the team is looking for a safehouse to keep their heads down but little do they know of the small family you keep hidden away from the world.

Warnings: some light swearing and depictions of blood.

A/N: Inspired by the Avengers: Age of Ultron - Safehouse Scene.

Masterlist | Taglist | edited.

The night mission had gone terribly. You had been deployed for over six months now and for all that stress to amount for nothing had a new rage encompassing your mind- distracting you from the bullet wound you sustained while trying to escape from a collapsing building. The intelligence your team was meant to collect falling down with it.

Shaking your head at the back of the SUV, you grasped your thigh tight- doing your best to hold the bleeding. Gaz was doing is best to help aid your wound as Johnny fished around in the trunk- throwing medical supplies over the seats as he let out a string of curse words and unknown English.

"Fucking-hell Johnny- you curse more than I do- and I am the one bleeding!" You croak out, sweat dripping down your forehead as Kyle fishes out the bullet. John is doing his best to keep the car ride smooth as Simon tries to radio Laswell to only receive silence in return.

Communications were down, Simon is now telling Price off for driving shit as you were about to lose your shit if Kyle did not get this bullet out of you sooner and Soap stopped sounding like a chicken with its head chopped off while flinging himself around in the trunk.

"Hows it going back there Gaz?" Price asks while gripping the steering wheel- your sharp breath intakes of pain are sending guilt flooding down his spine. He should have accounted for the possibility of more hostiles being at the location.

"Oh you know Captain, its going swell- blood and all sorts," Kyle retorts, his hands shaking as he finally gets ahold of the bullet and starts to carefully remove it from your body. The car runs over a hole in the road causing his hand to waver significantly as he apologizes to your groan of pain. The metal tools digging into your skin again.

"Any pain receivers back there Soap- booze... anything?" You ask as your vision turns slightly blurry, your head swimming side to side as the car turns from the ever-growing pressure in your thigh.

"Negative. Can't find anything back here- Simon, you have a torch up there in the glovebox?" Johnny calls out before swearing once more as a piece of gear slams on to his hand. Shaking out the pain a flashlight hits him square in the head- "thanks-mate, much appreciated."

"No problem," Simon replies calmly before testing the radio once more, looking in the rear view mirror in pity as he witnesses your pain without being able to do anything about it.

Kyle fishes the bullet out of your thigh, dropping it into a clear plastic bag before temporarily dressing your wound as you whisper out your thanks, your voice gone horse as the need for sleep overtakes your body.

"Hey, hey, hey. Gotta stay awake for now. Your wound will soon become infected if I can't dress it properly. We haven't got enough supplies in here-" Kyle starts to say before Price cuts him off- taking another sharp turn as you make your way out of the city.

"Anyone know of any places we can stand down for awhile, get their leg done-up?"

The car is met by silence as you groan out, closing your eyes harshly before cursing. Simon turns to look back at you- he knows what you are planning to say before he tilts his head to your opening eyes. Asking if this is really what you were going to do.

You only nod once before looking through the rear-view mirror at Price, "I know a place..."

"Tell me which turn to take next." And before you know it, the last of your secrets withheld from the group are about to fall like a house made of cards.

--

The sun had began to rise as Price pulls into the dirt driveway. A dull-yellow farmhouse sits atop a hill with a wrap-around porch to add to its charm. Gaz looks out the window and back at you, confused as to why you know of this place- seemingly off-the-grid. You only offer a small bittersweet smile in return before asking him to help you out of the car and to the front door.

Johnny stumbles out of the trunk as Simon pulls him aside, warning his best-mate to keep his outbursts and comments to a lesser state before walking up the front stairs. Soap looks around with squinted eyes, the garden is well-kept as is the exterrior of the home. The lawn freshly mowed as a swing drifts lightly in the wind from under an oak tree just down the hill. A few sets of bikes sit by the garage- painted a farmhouse red as he hears you fumble through your keys kept within your tactical vest.

Swearing out, Simon shoves him once in warning before the door is opneing and the boys soon follow you inside. Dusting off their boots while staring into the space in awe.

"This is not the usual safehouse- what is this place?" Gaz asks you while stepping into the living room and picking up a picture frame from a side-table. He looks at the image intently before turning it to the Captain who clutches the frame in his hands, a softness coating his eyes as he stares at your back.

You are unknowing of their stares as you walk into the kitchen. The sink is flowing as dishes are being stacked on the countertop. A radio plays a distant tune from the sunroom as you wrap your arms around your partner who looks up quickly. Viewing your reflection with theirs as they scream out in suprize. Dropping the plate while drying off their hands- they give you a large hug and kiss on the cheek, you feel as their hands shake against your form.

Price, Johnny, and Kyle all race over to the commotion as Simon leans against the archway to the living-room, his eyes crinkled as he hears feet stirring from up the stairs.

Wrapping your arm around your partners waist, they lean their head on your shoulder before narrowing their eyes playfully at all the new bodies in the home, "And who might these people be, luv?"

"Hmmm, just a couple of strangers from work" you say in a teasing tone before kissing their forehead and casting a smile at Johnny who stands with his mouth-agape.

Price steps forward, your wedding-day picture found back on the table as he extends his hand towards your partner- giving it a light shake while introducing himself. His brain still firing on how you managed to hide this all from him for years. His eyes shift over to your own, his head with a slight tilt as you mouth, not now at the sounds of little feet running down the stairs- calling out your name.

"Mom/dad! you're back-you're back!" they call out, clashing into your legs as you wince out slightly- your wound still open as your partners eyes fall to it in shock before removing the children from you.

Kissing the tops of their heads and giving their hair a slight ruffle. You look over at Simon who stands with his arms crossed by the stairs- someone is a bit disappointed. "I think you forgot to hug Uncle Simon back as well," you tease out as the children jump up and down before tackling the man to the ground.

Shaking your head at the scene as your partner laughs beside you, Kyles cough breaks your focus as he points to your leg, "ah-yes, sweetheart? do you know where the medical kit is?"

"by the sink dear... I will... leave you both to that one," they say with a slight wince escaping their mouth at their ends yet their eyes hold determination- you will be getting an earful of it tonight in bed.

Giving them a wide smile, you crack Gaz one on the back before hobbling over to the kitchen sink once more.

--

As you exit the room, Kyle following in tow. John speaks to your partner, "Had I have known- I would have never came here. I apologize for barging in on your family."

Your partner looks as the men, throwing a waving hand in their face, "My love did their best to keep this place off the files and databases- that could only last for so long- I suppose. Laswell did her fair-share to help us as well- she knows of our situation all too well..." they trail off- staring at Johnny's freshly inked tattoo with a smile.

"You know- I was very confused when they wanted to get new ink done. Good to see the reason why now- I was always happy to know they had more partners out there. Thank you for making sure they come home to me every time... I-I would never know what to do without them- the kids would say the same."

"It's an honour truly, ma'am/sir, serving by your partners side. Seeing what you both have made here... it only pushes me to work harder in order to obtain the same," Johnny says, a blush coating his cheeks as he feels Simon staring him down from building legos with the kids on the rug. The masked-man gives Soap a nod in gratitude before introducing the kids as your partner moves to clean the upstairs guest rooms.

--

John exits the house, seemingly overwhelmed by the images and nature of the estate. Looking at the various rolling hills, the flowers drifting in the morning breeze as birds sing in the air. He closes his eyes, standing on the porch- letting off a sigh.

"Everything al'right, John?" Gaz says from the doorway, drying off his hands with a hand-made hand towel. The Captain closes his eyes before turning around to answer, "I think that an old man like me is discovering everything that this job hasn't allowed me to do."

"Cap-" Gaz begins to reply, his eyes falling in worry as he walks over to Price.

"No, no. Its what must be done so others can have lives like this," Price says while shaking his heads and looking off to the side. You yell lunchtime from the kitchen as every flocks to the sunroom overlooking the farm-grounds.

╰┈➤ A/N: hope you enjoyed this!

[ihavethedreamies]

Mine | Jaemin

Na Jaemin - NCT Dream

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~9.3k

Pairing: Jaemin x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Fluff, Jealousy, Friends-to-Lovers, Smut

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Oral (F! Receiving), Fluffy Smut

Author's Note: This is for my bestest friend in the world. Jaemin is her ultimate favorite and this might very well make her explode. Which is the goal. She didn't ask for smut, but… That is why it’s a bit more…fluffy/vanilla than my other stuff, because it's for her >3>

There is a bit of cross-over between groups here. Changbin and Felix of Stray Kids are in it directly and Wooyoung of ATEEZ is mentioned.

Fun Fact: the middle pic in the banner is actually of Hyunjin

Edit (8/25/24): I changed the text/chat pictures to just text.

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

"Hey, you know my friend Changbin?" your friend asked as she applied her lip balm, looking in a handheld mirror. You simply blinked at this, considering it wasn’t even tinted and you pondered why she needed the mirror.

"Yes?" You shook your head, looking back to your laptop. You and Yuna were sitting at a table in one of the on-campus cafés . Studying in the library was hard because you two could get kind of rowdy and it was hard to stay quiet.

"He’s been trying to get me to set him up with one of my girl friends…" She drifted off, casting you a not very subtle look. You had never seen the guy, just knew he was a gym rat, and he was friends with your ex. Rubbing your eye as your vision blurred from staring at your screen too long, she leaned into your blind spot, which startled you when your eye refocused.

"What?" You grumbled and she sighed dramatically, resting her cheek on the table.

"Please?" She immediately started to beg, just repeating the word over and over.

"Oh my god, fine!" You relented. A bit hesitant since he was so close with Wooyoung. You weren’t sure if it was a good idea to go out with a friend of your ex.

"What if we do a double date?" Yuna could tell you were a bit hesitant, and the thought of tag-teaming was better.

"Okay, like a double blind-date thing?" you asked, and her face lit up.

"Yes! Bring me someone hot." She winked and you huffed. Going over your own friend group in your head, you tried to figure out who was best for her. You immediately threw your roommate Jisung out. He was way too shy and quiet for her, and she was a lot for anyone. Chenle was also out, that would be way too much loud in your life since he essentially lived with you as well with how much he was over. Renjun wasn’t Yuna’s type, she doesn’t go out with guys she claims are prettier than her. Mark was…something was going on with Yuta that you didn’t have the time to ponder on. Donghyuck could work but he, surprisingly, was pretty serious when it came to dating and wasn’t a fan of flings. Jeno? He could work, but you were pretty sure he was supposed to be going somewhere for a cycling race. That left Jaemin. The thought made your stomach twinge a bit, but you couldn’t pinpoint why. His stupid goofy grinning face flashed in your mind and quickly changed to the cocky smirk he wore when he flirted. Which he did a lot. You decided you were nervous for Yuna because he was such a flirt, but then again, so was she. Deep down you knew you had a bit of a crush on him despite the fact that you declared you never would. Every time some guy rose in popularity on campus, they were immediately disqualified. He had been your friend before that happened to him, but you begrudgingly followed the crowd as he rose to be number one pretty fast. I mean, you weren’t surprised, you had eyes. Jeno was also really high up there, but he seemed more like a brother to you. He was like a sweet puppy dog, Jaemin was more like a lion. Lazy and beautiful.

"I’ll ask Jaemin…" You mumbled to yourself, and she perked up.

"Wait, Na Jaemin?"

"Yes? That okay?"

"Fuck yeah, that’s okay, holy shit!" She cackled to herself, and you grumbled, typing out a quick message to him.

☀️: Wanna go on a blind date? 🐰: Why would I be blind? ☀️: You know what I mean dumbass. 🐰: who ☀️: My friend Yuna. She wants to set me up with her friend and so we decided to do a double. 🐰: you too? ☀️: Yeah that's what I mean by double... 🐰: who ☀️: Her friend Changbin. He's one of Wooyoung's friends too. 🐰: hm

What did that mean? There were two ends of the spectrum of messaging Jaemin. You either got very short answers like right then, or way too many emojis.

🐰: hm 🐰: works out a lot? ☀️: Yeah, him. 🐰: hm ☀️: What does that mean? 🐰: wouldn't you like to know

You rolled your eyes and waited as the little dots bounced as he typed. Then they would stop, then start, then stop. What the hell was taking him so long.

🐰: wouldn't you like to know ☀️: You good, fam? 🐰: yeh, i shall go ☀️: You shall? I didn't even say when... 🐰: when then

"When are you thinking?" You turned to Yuna who was typing on her phone, probably with her guy friend.

"Friday night, 7?" She didn’t even look up from her phone.

"Where?" You got ready to relay the information.

"Uh…he told you to pick." She sniggered at something else on her phone, so you went back to yours.

🐰: when then ☀️: Friday at 7. 🐰: where ☀️: You decide. 🐰: hmm ☀️: Hurry up, I need to keep working. 🐰: have your computer program decide ☀️: I'm coding a program for the periodic table it can't do that.

He was getting on your nerves, and you pondered why the hell you even liked him. For probably everything else but how he texted, but that was beside the point.

☀️: I'm coding a program for the periodic table it can't do that. 🐰: taeyong's place ☀️: That's expensive... 🐰: so? ☀️: Not all of us are financially stable. 🐰: I...will pay~ ☀️: You will? 🐰: not for him ☀️: I'll make sure it's okay...

"Ask him if he’s okay going somewhere fancy. Our friend started as a chef at some place called Kwangya, but it’s pricey. Jaemin said he’ll pay for us." You put your phone down to pull up the website to get an idea of the prices. It wasn’t like a Michelin star-level place or anything, but it was nicer than most college students would usually go for. Looking over the menu you saw the cheapest entrée was still like twenty dollars.

"Oh shit, that looks good, let me ask him." Yuna leaned in, resting her cheek on your shoulder to look at your screen, then she went back to her phone.

"He said that’s perfect, he’ll pay for you he said." Your friend wiggled her eyebrows, and you exhaled through your nose.

☀️: I'll make sure it's okay... ☀️: You're in luck. He's in and will pay for me too. 🐰: no ☀️: No? 🐰: i pay ☀️: It wouldn't make sense for you to pay for me and your date... 🐰: I pay ☀️: Okay, whatever, you two can figure it out then... 🐰: wear pink ☀️: That's not your decision. 🐰: hm

You rolled your eyes; he was so freaking odd sometimes…Most times. After all the details got ironed out, you both went back to studying and working before heading your separate ways around four. When you got back to your apartment, your eyes immediately found a foreign pair of shoes by the door. Jisung was always sure to put his on the shoe rack with yours, and Chenle’s were simply thrown somewhere on the floor, but these were set nicely by the rack. Who was there? Dolphin laughter could be heard from the living room, and you guessed Chenle had maybe brought someone. Jisung didn’t have too many people he knew past the other six. The rest of their friends would almost all just have their shoes in a pile or would use the rack…

"Noona~" Chenle shouted in delight as you came in and you couldn’t hide a smile.

"Hi, Lele."

"Did you get your program finished?" Jisung’s much quieter and deeper voice brought your attention as he came out of the laundry room. There definitely was third person there, an unfamiliar bag was resting against the coffee table. Maybe they were in the bathroom.

"Who is here?" you asked and Jisung stiffened, worried you might be upset. Little did he know, you could never be upset with your most precious.

"My friend Felix." Chenle was strewn across your armchair.

"The one from Australia?" You made sure you got it right and he nodded. He was looking at his phone as he typed, a growing look of distaste spreading over his face.

"What’s wrong?" Jisung asked the other guy, moving to sit back down on the couch, picking up his laptop. You could hear the washer going and you really hoped he didn’t put too much soap in again. As you joined them in the living room, you set your bag down next to the couch and flopped on the opposite end of your roommate.

"Jaemin." Is all he said, and you rolled your eyes, understanding his sentiment. Guess he was being weird with everyone today.

"I hope it’s okay, I might have stained the sink…" A deep voice caught you off guard and you turned so fast to see the owner your neck popped. He was…beautiful.

"What do you mean?" You finally registered his comment after a few seconds of staring.

"His pen leaked." Jisung answered and Felix showed you the faded blue stain on his hands.

"Oh, that’s okay." You assured him, still gaping. He came to sit back on the floor at the coffee table and gave you a smile made of sunshine.

"I’m Felix."

"Right, yes, I’m (Y/N)." You introduced and Chenle burst out laughing.

"You’re going on a double date with Jaemin?" The second youngest looked at you and you groaned, slumping further into the couch.

"I’m not going with him. I set him up with Yuna and she set me up with her friend." You corrected.

"Yuna? Song Yuna?" Felix asked and you nodded as you straightened back up.

"Oh, I’m friends with her too. Who is she setting you up with?" He looked up from the pen that he was holding, probably a little weary it might leak as well.

"Changbin?" When you spoke the name, his face shifted from slight worry of the writing device to an amused look. He sputtered a laugh, and you weren’t sure how to take that.

"You dated Wooyoung right?"

"Yes?"

"He’s going to have a field day…"

"Why?" Was that a good or bad thing?

"Changbin’s liked you since before you broke up with Woo." The blonde huffed another laugh as he started to jot down notes from his textbook.

"Seriously? I’ve never even seen him… How did he know about me?"

"You were Woo’s background. You might still be, actually…" He mentioned it so casually, but you were once again shocked. You had broken up like four months prior.

"She’s Jaemin’s background too." Chenle had begun to chew aggressively on some licorice. Your licorice.

"Hey, give that back!" You stood so you could confiscate the candy and he whined pitifully and loudly. Then what he said hit you as you sat back down.

"I’m Jaemin’s background?!"

"It’s that picture of when you and Renjun fell in the mud at the park." Jisung finished and you sighed, rolling your eyes. He always had the embarrassing pictures.

"She’s still Wooyoung’s background?" The youngest turned to Felix.

"I think so…" The three boys fell back into the lull of whatever they were doing, and you sat and pondered.

"When are you going on the double date?" Jisung’s soft voice pulled you from your thoughts.

"Day after tomorrow, why?" You looked up from your phone and he looked deep in thought before he looked at his own phone.

"Just curious. I’m going to Chenle’s for a movie marathon."

"Avengers!" the other boy cheered.

"Where are you going?" Felix piped up and you were once again floored by his deep voice, especially with that pretty face.

"Kwangya. Our friend Taeyong just got the position of head chef." you replied.

"He’s such a good cook." Jisung added and you nodded.

"That place is expensive…" the eldest boy was scrolling through his phone, presumably looking at the menu, then he giggled.

"Order the most expensive thing possible if hyung is paying." His mischievous smile was freaking adorable. You snapped, and pointed at him, "sure thing."

"Oh my god, I am so freaking excited." Yuna bounced as she leaned over your vanity, putting her lipstick on. Since Jaemin had told you to wear pink, you had your friend do so instead. Her dress was light pink with plum blossoms printed over the fabric, the tight dress ended about midthigh and had an asymmetric over-the-shoulder top. You were a bit worried about her walking in the tallest heels she owned, but she liked being near the same height as her date. She had her hair up in a curled ponytail and long pink crystal earrings. You had already gotten ready and had a natural makeup look on with pretty much just mascara, eyeliner, and lipgloss. Your dress was a deep purple with a high keyhole style top. There was a belt around the upper part of your waist and as the dress flowed down the purple faded into black at the end of a circle skirt. Your tallest heels were barely even heels, but they were black, and you had dark sheer tights on as well. Your black metallic hoops matched the bangle you had on your left wrist and the rings on your index and ring fingers of your right hand. Your hair was tied back and flowed down your back in loose curls. Not normally one for manicures, Yuna had gotten you both press on nails instead and yours were almond shaped, simply black with silver accents. Hers were the same pink as her dress with cherry blossoms. She couldn’t find plum blossoms, but most people didn’t know the difference anyway.

"I hope he meets your expectations." You huffed and she rolled her eyes.

"Girl, I know what he looks like, I couldn’t care less about his personality. I even broke out my fancy panties." She smiled and for some reason this really bothered you. You honestly didn’t know if Jaemin was the type to sleep with a girl on the first date, he didn’t talk much about his love life around you. You shifted on your feet, reaching behind you to adjust the band of your bra through the fabric of your dress. Your bra and panties were somewhat plain, just black with a little bit of lace. It didn’t matter anyway. Even if you really liked Changbin you weren’t going to bed him on that first date. Unless he was like…really freaking hot, which was a possibility. For some reason though, even thinking about it made you feel guilty. The thought of Yuna sleeping with Jaemin made you feel even worse, and you tried to ignore it.

"Is my makeup okay?" She shoved her lipstick back in her little bag, white with a gold chain.

"Yes. Mine?" She looked over your face quickly and clicked her tongue.

"Of course. Why’d you even ask?" She grumbled and you giggled as she fixed a few stray hairs, then you went out to your living room to wait. Jisung had left only about fifteen minutes prior, peeking his head into your room to say buy. He got a faint dusting on his cheeks seeing you all pretty and dressed up and he mumbled something as he left. Not even two seconds after you sat in your armchair, your phone went off.

🐰: Here ☀️: The restaurant? You're like twenty minutes early. 🐰: your building ☀️: Oh, I thought we were meeting there? 🐰: coming up

You shook your head; he had been acting weird the last few days and you wondered why he even agreed to this whole double date. He didn’t seem particularly into it… When your door buzzed, you didn’t even get up as you heard him keying in your door code.

"He knows your code?"

"They all do. They tend to come here when they are drunk." You shrugged, still looking at your phone. You had been scrolling through your pictures and deleting everything of you and Wooyoung. It still irked you a bit that you might still his phone background, but you weren’t going to tell him to take it off, what if it wasn’t? You weren’t sure if he knew about your date with Changbin either, and you hoped your past relationship didn’t come up. When Jaemin finally entered, you heard him coming down the hall, evidently still in his shoes. You were going to scold him when he finally came into view, but your words fizzled out. Fuck. He was wearing a white blazer over a black dress shirt. Said shirt was unbuttoned at the top, not starting till a little above the end of his sternum. A tie was tied around his neck loosely, the two ends tucked into his shirt, highlighting the exposed skin. His slacks were black as well as his shoes, and his silver-colored hair was styled up just enough to stay out of his eyes. When your eyes met his after you had scanned his outfit, the look was so intense it made you flinch.

"Fuck." Yuna whispered and you cleared your throat, standing and grabbing your bag.

"Ready?" he asked, forcing his gaze away from you. His face softened into a cocky smirk as Yuna came to stand with you.

"Yuna, right?" He scratched his neck casually and she nodded, giving her best smirk.

"Yes. Everyone knows who you are Na Jaemin." She finally stepped up to him and linked her arm around his.

"Let’s go." You forced a smile onto your face and led them out of the apartment so you could head to the restaurant. As they flirted in the elevator, it was like you could only kind of hear them, your ears ringing like you had gotten hit in the head.

"Is Changbin meeting us there still?" you asked Yuna, and she nodded.

"He should get there around the time we do." Leading them to the small parking garage next to your building, you get in the car and wait for the other two. Jaemin held the door open for your friend and she got into the back where he joined her. You felt more like a chauffeur like that, but you just swallowed down the bitter thoughts and left the garage to head the right way. When you arrived, the valet took your vehicle and there was a guy waiting outside near the door. He was short for a man but still a bit taller than you, and holy fuck was he built. He had a white button down on, the buttons struggling to contain him. A black vest struggled over the shirt as well, and his black tie rested perfectly on his chest. The sleeves were half rolled up near his elbows, his forearms on display. A thick black watch drew your gaze to his hands, a simple silver band on his index finger. His slacks, also black, hugged his thick thighs wonderfully and you wondered if they would split from the strain if he moved the wrong way.

"Woah." He whispered, recognizing your presence when Yuna shouted his name. He came to stand in front of you, his gaze was scanning but polite. You watched carefully as his eyes trailed over your face and neckline, before quickly jumping to your waist and legs.

"You’re even more beautiful in person." He smiled and your face warmed. He took your smaller hand in his where it was rested on your bag, bringing it to his face and placing a light kiss on your knuckles. You heard Jaemin scoff lightly, and you chose to ignore it, focusing on the man before you.

"Let’s go in, I’m starved." your friend groaned dramatically and Jaemin held the door open for her, very pointedly letting it go when Changbin followed. That gave him the opportunity to hold it open for you though, and you nodded in thanks with a smile as you entered the restaurant.

"We have a reservation for seven." Yuna leaned against the podium where the host was as she typed into the tablet.

"Name?"

"Song."

"For four?"

"Yep."

"Please follow me." She grabbed four menus and led you into the establishment to a table in the back corner. The place was busy, but thanks to the ritzy environment, it wasn’t overly loud. The black and white décor and furniture were accented with different kinds of plants and other green things. Jaemin moved to sit down, pulling the chair next to him out. You waited for Yuna to sit but Jaemin was staring at you. Changbin shot Jaemin a look you didn’t notice, but your friend did. Changbin did much the same, sitting across from you and casually pulling the chair back with one hand for his friend. Your guy friend rested back in the chair nonchalantly, holding the menu in his hand on his lap, slinging his arm around the back of your chair. You didn’t even react, too busy looking over the menu, but the other two sure did.

"Order whatever you want, pretty girl." Changbin smirked when you glanced over your own menu at him, his resting on the table. You couldn’t help but marvel at his arms where they rested over the menu. His black hair was parted asymmetrically, his bangs brushing over his eyebrows. He was very handsome, in a more masculine way than Jaemin, who was more pretty.

"Are you sure?" you asked, Felix’s words flashing in your mind; you wanted to make sure.

"Of course." He smiled, looking back and you nodded, ignoring the numbers listed by each meal.

"Hello, I’ll be taking your order today." The waitress had come over and bowed slightly, ready to get your drinks. You simply ordered a water, not feeling like alcohol. Yuna did order a glass of wine, one that Jaemin picked out. He knew jack about wine, but he acted like he knew his stuff, he didn’t even drink. His order was simply for a Coke and Changbin ordered some kind of soda-liquor mix.

"Is this on two tickets or…" The waitress started.

"Two, me and her." Changbin nodded at you and before the waitress could start writing, Jaemin piped up.

"One, actually." You turned your head to look at him in shock and Yuna smiled coyly, resting his chin on her interlinked fingers. She hummed and Jaemin hadn’t even looked up from his menu but to meet your glance.

"I suggested the place, might as well. Tell Chef Moon Jaemin is ordering, so he better cook it really~ good." He smiled at the waitress, and she flushed a bit at the smolder, but nodded and headed off. His arm was still on the back of your chair, and you glanced at Yuna who bit her lip as she looked over the man next to you.

"What are you thinking of getting?" you asked your date and he hummed, flipping to the other side of the menu.

"The cream pasta looks good, but I don’t know if I would want chicken or shrimp." Changbin hummed, then looked up at you with a smile, "what about you, (Y/N)?" The way he said your name made your heart thump, was he normally so sweet or was he playing it up?

"She wants the lobster." Jaemin didn’t even look up from his menu and you glared at him. He wasn’t wrong…you loved it even if you didn’t get to eat it very often.

"It’s not even on the menu today." You tried not to snap at him.

"I think I’ll get the cream pasta with shrimp." You decided.

"Perfect." Changbin smiled and when the waitress came back with your drinks, your date ordered for both of you.

"Give me the steak." After Jaemin ordered, he took his menu and yours to hand them to the waitress. Yuna hummed, giving you a look, and ended up getting some kind of fish. When your guy friend ordered you grimaced. He knew you didn’t like beef, even just the smell bothered you. Though, if he was paying, especially with the prices being so high, you wouldn’t say anything.

"I know we don’t know each other super well yet, but you’re too good for Wooyoung." Changbin started and you gave him a shocked look. Yuna looked surprised at the comment as well and Jaemin huffed in what seemed like agreement.

"W-what do you mean?" you asked.

"This is the kind of place to go to. A beautiful restaurant for a beautiful girl. Let me guess, your first date was at an amusement park?"

"W-well…yes. We were first years in college though…"

"Still, you’re a lady not a middle schooler." He shook his head and you flushed some at the comments. You didn’t see yourself as a lady, but it made you feel special.

"Lady, huh?" The guy next to you kind of scoffed and you rolled your eyes. What was his deal?

"She’s more of a lady than this one that’s for sure." Changbin jutted his thumb at Yuna who sent him a scalding look.

"Fuck you, Bin."

"I would rather you didn’t." He smirked, turning the look to you. Letting out a small chuckle, your cheeks felt even warmer, the ice water a nice contrast as you took a sip. Focusing on the older man, you two passed likes and dislikes back and forth, just getting to know each other. You weren’t sure what the other two were discussing, but you could feel the tension leave Jaemin slowly. Yuna was batting her eyelashes every once in a while, and you had a feeling her heeled foot was brushing over his shin, if not higher. You tried not to think about it, going back to your date. When the food finally came, you smiled at how good the food looked and smelled. Luckily, your food more or less blocked the scent of Jaemin’s steak. As you twisted the pasta around on your fork against your spoon, as you went to bring it to your mouth, you noticed Changbin hold his own up.

"Cheers?" He smiled and you giggled, bumping your pasta swirl against his, then eating it. It really was so good, and you could tell it was definitely Taeyong’s.

"I was surprised I couldn’t hear you from the kitchen." A familiar voice chuckled, coming up to the table."

"Hi, Taeyong-oppa." You smiled at his comment to Jaemin.

"Hyung~" He cooed and you both huffed.

"I didn’t know you were going to be here too, (Y/N)." He glanced at the other two, "You’re Yuna, right?"

"Sure am." She seemed to be in a flirty mood, her tone was still lilted.

"You are…" He pointed to the other guy.

"Seo Changbin." He nodded respectfully.

"Double date?" Taeyong’s gaze moved to you, and you nodded. He simply hummed before his gaze met Jaemin’s.

"Enjoy the food, I’ll make sure you get a discount." He bowed and then left and Yuna watched him leave.

"Oof."

"Really?" You deadpanned; she was literally on a date with Jaemin.

"I need to go to the bathroom, come on (Y/N)." She got up, grabbing her bag and you did the same to follow her. You really didn’t understand why girls always went to the bathroom together, but you would literally just follow along. When you got in there, another woman was just leaving, but otherwise it was empty. Yuna went to look in the mirror, pulling her make up bag out to touch up her eye makeup. You rested your back against the counter, it seemed neither of you actually had to go.

"Sorry that Jaemin is being weird." You grimaced a bit, your mouth going straight.

"Well, it’s obvious he is here for you so…" She didn’t seem bothered at all.

"W-what?"

"Oh, please, girl. It’s obvious he’s jealous and just came so you he could keep an eye on Changbin. I’m more here to help you not be too uncomfortable, it’s just a bonus I get to flirt with Na Jaemin." She started to put on more lipstick, but realized she still had to finish eating, so that wouldn’t make sense.

"Y-you think?" You turned to look at her and she scoffed playfully.

"Here, I’ll play it up and see what he does." She got everything back into her bag and you both went back to the table. You had no idea what those two had been doing or talking about, but the tension was thick. After you sat down, the mood lightened, and a smile came back to Changbin’s face.

"Here, have more of the shrimps." He picked a few off of his plate to give to you before you could protest. Shooting Yuna a look, she winked, and stabbed a piece of fish with her fork, holding it up to Jaemin. She hummed and you made sure not to watch, so you missed his side look at you. The small talk continued with your date, and it seemed as Yuna notched up her flirting, so did Jaemin. You two weren’t so forward, keeping it more innocent.

"Oh, here." You noticed he had some sauce on his cheek, too far away for his tongue to reach. You grabbed your napkin and dipped it in your water so you could get it off. He smiled and the warm look made your face heat, and you sat back all the way down. You yelped when Jaemin curled his ankle around the leg of your chair and hauled you closer to him so he could whisper in your ear.

"The hell are you doing?" His tone was sharper than you had ever heard from him.

"What do you mean?" Your tone hardened as well. He simple glared down at you and you scoffed, aggressively yanking your chair back to where it was, resting your chin on your palm, closing yourself off from him.

"Sorry, he’s being a dick." you whispered to Changbin, but he didn’t laugh, just sent a look at the other man.

"What’s your deal?" He shot at Jaemin whose face immediately lost its flirty grin. He could be really freaking scary when he wanted….same thing with Chenle.

"I just have a problem with people who don’t know their place." He rose an eyebrow and you swallowed hard. You really wanted the chocolate lava cake on the dessert menu, but you were getting fed up. He offered to pay for everyone, so you stood and aggressively slung your bag on your shoulder.

"Let’s go Yuna. He can get home on his own." She immediately followed you and you stopped, looking at Changbin.

"I had fun with you, I’m sorry he’s being such a douche. I’ll get your number from Yuna." You smiled, giving him a slight bow and he nodded, watching in shock as you both left.

"(Y/N)!" Jaemin shouted after you and you just picked up the pace. Yuna’s heels clicked on the tile of the restaurant floor and then on the concrete as you left. Tears were pricking at your eyes, the warm drops cold in the blowing wind.

"Hey, you okay?" She stopped you, noticing your face starting to get blotchy.

"He’s a fucking jerk." You sniffed and she sighed.

"Hey, I’m not mad, I wasn’t expecting the world from the date-"

"Not that, how he was with Changbin. If what you said it true…" You licked your lips, and she wrapped her arm around your shoulder.

"The reason it hurts so much is because you like him. It’s hard to see someone act like a dick when you think highly of them." She informed wisely as you both waited for the valet to get your car. You wished you parked down the road so at least you could get away faster. Waiting outside meant there was the possibility of Jaemin getting to you before you could leave. Speak…well, think of the devil, and he shall come.

"(Y/N)!" He had pushed the door open so hard; the thick plexiglass wobbled a bit in the metal frame. You groaned and told Yuna to take your car back and began to storm down the sidewalk toward your building.

"Fucking- (Y/N), wait!" He dashed past your friend, and she knew your shorter legs wouldn’t get you far if he was going that speed. As he caught up to you, you almost took off your shoes so you could start running. You tried to not wipe at your eyes, your mascara was waterproof, but your eyeliner would probably smudge.

"(Y/N)!" Jaemin finally reached you, his hand wrapping around your wrist, and he halted you in your tracks. Why was he so freaking strong? When you tried to get away, he pulled you even closer, holding both hands to his chest.

"Let go!" You were full on crying, and he was a bit shocked at this. He did as you asked and you were going to turn around and keep going, but a car, your car, pulled up next to you. Yuna got out, handed you your keys and you went to get in. Before either of you could say anything, Jaemin grabbed the keys himself and went to the driver’s side. You scoffed as he shut the door but got in the other side.

"Can you get home?" you asked her, and she nodded, waving you off.

"Changbin will get me home." You nodded and got into your car; it was a bit weird riding in the passenger seat. The ride back was silent, tension rising in the car fast, and you tried rolling the window down. Didn’t help, just made more noise. You rolled it back up, the seal making a ‘shunk’ as it closed. You licked your lips, just watching out the window. No words were said as he parked in your spot in the garage. You wanted to fester a bit in the car, but he pulled your door open and stared you down, prompting you to get out. You slammed the door shut and stomped forward past him to get into your building. You keyed in your code to the side door and didn’t even hold the door open for him. You could hear him following you though and he did all the way up to your apartment. Your door slammed shut and you both stood in the entryway, panting. Sighing, you toed the straps of your shoe and kicked them off, storming further into your place. It seemed he had done the same and was hot on your heels. As you left the entry hall and started to head into the living room, Jaemin grabbed your wrist, and you yelped as he yanked you. You found your back to the wall, halted just right so your head didn’t bang into it. His hand slammed against the wall, pinning you in, the other one still holding your wrist. You gaped at him with wide eyes, your hand held up and against the wall as well. He was PISSED. He didn’t get mad like that too often.

"What the hell is your problem?" You tried to psych yourself up, feeling incredibly small. Not only did his harsh gaze make you shrink in on yourself, but he was also bigger than you really realized. Taller and broader, he fully surrounded you. He scoffed, looking away and you sneered. He finally turned back to look at you.

"Are you really that dumb?" His tone pierced you and tears came back, frustrated and hurt.

"What?" Your voice was quiet, you face had fallen flat. Jaemin licked his lips again, biting his bottom lip before pressing both together hard. His eyes met yours and your breath hitched.

"You seriously, of all people, asked me to go on a double date with you, but you were there for someone else?" His face was close to yours; he was so close in general that you had to tilt your head to meet his eyes.

"Then, you showed up looking like that, but it wasn’t for me." He motioned with his head down, and you shuffled. Jaemin’s leg had shifted closer, his knee touching the wall.

"You even went so far as to flirt with another man in front of me." His words made you look back up to him from where you had been looking at his leg between yours.

"What’s it to you!?" You countered, trying not to move too much, he was so close, "why do you care?"

"I care because I love you, and you’re supposed to be mine!" He finally got it out. All of the fight left you and you simply gaped at him like a fish. Jaemin swallowed, not sure how to take your reaction.

"You love me?"

"Yes!" The hand pinning yours up pulled away, so your arm came down to rest limply at your side. Jaemin then rested it on your elbow, the hand on the wall shifting so his forearm was pressed against the surface. His forehead met his arm, the side of his jaw pressing against the top of your head. Your eyes couldn’t help but fall to the swath of skin revealed by his open shirt, it was right in front of you after all.

"I really wish I could have done this differently." His voice was quiet, the sharpness gone, and he spoke right into your ear. The sound seemed to rumble through you, and you didn’t know his voice could get that deep.

"Love?" You finally managed to get out and he huffed, pulling back enough that you could see each other’s faces. Jaemin brought his hand to his tie, and despite it being loose already, he loosened it further and just took it off. The fabric floated to the floor, and he took another step back so he could take off the blazer without hitting you. As he shed the garment, he continued to move away, throwing the jacket down. He turned away from you and you slumped further against the wall, watching as he rolled his sleeves up, so they bunched above his elbow. You couldn’t help but stare at his revealed forearms, a watch gracing his left wrist. On his right hand sat the ring he and all your friends shared. You had one even, but you kept in your jewelry box and only wore it when you were all together. The more you looked at Jaemin, like really looked, he had gotten way more muscular than you even realized. He caught you staring and in any other circumstance he would have smirked, but he just huffed, nearly scoffed.

"My eyes are up here, (Y/N)." He clicked his tongue and he started to walk back toward you. He had put his left hand in his pocket, the right held up with one finger out, and he poked you hard on the forehead. You flinched and yelped when your head hit the wall. Jaemin sighed, letting his arm fall and putting his other hand in his pocket as well.

"You really had no idea?" The question was unexpected, and you honestly had trouble thinking about what he meant, still out of it.

"No idea about what?" You shook your head, trying to get your bearings and he sighed dramatically, a slight whine in the sound.

"Me loving you, dummy." You blinked in response.

"N-no?"

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What about you?"

"About me, what?" He groaned in frustration and sighed really hard again.

"Do you like me back at least?" He finally decided to be direct. You simply blinked and he shook his head a bit.

"I’m going home-" He backed up and moved to leave, but you stopped him, gently wrapping your hands around his elbow.

"Wait." Your voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear, but he halted immediately. His back was to you, so you stepped closer and wrapped your arms around his middle, laying your cheek on his back.

"I…I think I love you too." You truly didn’t know for sure, never really feeling that way. You were still in denial about having feelings for him at all only an hour ago.

"You think?"

"I really don’t know…I’ve never felt this way before-" Jaemin pulled away from you roughly, but then turned to you, his hands on your jaw. When you opened your mouth to continue, his lips met yours instead, swallowing the start of your next words. Honestly? Best kiss you ever had. You didn’t know if it was because Jaemin and you liked him so much, or if he was just good at it. With a whine, you brought your own hands to his, lightly gripping his wrists. Jaemin pulled back, his expression still intense but in a much different way.

"Tell me now if you don’t want to go beyond kissing, because I need to know before…" He drifted off, his eyes still pinned to your lips.

"Y-you can do what you want." Your words were shaky, along with your body, but it was more nervous excitement than anything.

"Yeah?" You hummed in response and that same cocky grin you were so used to spread over his stupidly attractive face.

"Don’t tell me that, love, I’ll hold you to it." He had leaned in as he spoke, his lips softly brushing over yours.

"Please." You nearly keened and he kissed you again. It was rougher than the last one, deeper, his hand wrapping around your ponytail and digging into your hair. He tilted your head to get a better angle. His other hand started at your waist before sliding down the sleek material of your dress till it landed on your butt. He squeezed and you gasped, allowing his tongue to slide into your mouth. Your head was swimming, and you weren’t sure if it was from lack of air or just how good it felt to have his tongue tasting yours. When Jaemin finally pulled back, you whined at the loss which made him chuckle.

"Come here, love." His arm wrapped around your waist, the other going to the back of your thigh, picking you up with ease. You whimpered, wrapping your legs around his waist and you kissed over his neck and collarbone as he headed down the hall to your room. Luckily Jisung was at Chenle’s, and little did you know, it was because Jaemin had told him, "if this night goes according to plan, you will not want to be at home." And while the plan hadn’t gone exactly as Jaemin planned, the end result was the same. Your door was closed but not set in the frame, so he was able to kick it to get it open. It swung hard and slammed into the wall, luckily there was door stop, and he kicked it closed as well. When he got close enough, he literally dropped you on the bed. You bounced with a yelp, and you stopped as you tried to steady yourself, your eyes drawn to him. With rapt attention, you watched as he deftly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and untucked it, throwing it harshly to the floor. As he continued, the smirk on his face grew more and more devious, his confidence growing a little too much from your stare.

"Wanna touch?" He teased as your eyes traced every line and ridge of his torso. Without thinking, you nodded, and he laughed. The noise snapped you out of the trance, and you frowned.

"Jerk…" You mumbled and he chuckled, stepping forward slowly, prowling. His right hand gripped his belt and the waist of his pants, and when he was close enough, his hand went to your chin to tip your head. Jaemin crooked his eyebrow, and you wilted a bit under the look, more nervous excitement buzzing through you. When he stepped back, your eyes went to the hand on his belt and watched as he undid his belt, pulling it out of the loops with a snap and it clattered to the floor. Your mouth watered, and he tried not to laugh, "Your eyes are gonna burn holes through me." You flinched back, purposefully looking back to his face.

"Look all you want, love." he said, the smirk coming back. So, you did. Your eyes zeroed in on his hands, he first removed his watch, letting it clatter onto the floor as well. Same thing with his ring, he didn’t want the others having any part of this, even if it was through the friendship ring. Next, and you weren’t sure if he actually did it slowly or it played in slow-motion through your eyes, but he undid the button on his slacks, and they fell. You gasped, he did still have his underwear on, but he was just that much closer to being bare before you.

"You have too many things on." He decided and strode forward, falling to his knees at the foot of the bed where you sat. His hands went to your hips and pulled you all the way forward so hard and fast, you fell, back hitting the bed.

"Are these those tights that don’t tear?" His question threw you off a bit.

"Uh, no they were like a few dollars-" RIP. He just tore them right at the seam of the crotch.

"Jaemin!" You scolded by he ignored you; finishing ripping them and then pulled the pieces off. He could have just pulled them off normally… When the scraps were discarded, he flipped the end of your dress up, exposing your black panties and your face flushed as he just stared.

"D-don’t stare like that!" You covered your face with your hands then practically screamed when he unexpectedly buried his face between your legs.

"J-Jaemin!" You yelped, his tongue brushing harshly over the fabric, tasting your wetness though the material.

"Fuck~" He cooed at your taste, and you were extremely grateful he didn’t tear your panties off as well. What you didn’t notice though was that he pocketed them as his mouth met your bare cunt. Your back arched, breath leaving you, his tongue delving into your core. Jaemin let out an obscene groan as your walls clenched around his tongue and you whimpered. Why was he being so freaking noisy? Again, a startled yelp escaped you when his hands grabbed your thighs, roughly holding your legs open, preventing your hips from moving. It seemed he planned ahead because when he sealed his lips around your clit and sucked, your entire body jerked, the air leaving you.

"Jaemin! Wait, fuck-" You sucked air in harshly, the rising pleasure so intense and before you knew it, with one last flick of his tongue, you fell of the edge. He moaned as you whined, his voice fading into a low chuckle as your orgasm ebbed. Falling boneless onto the bedding, he got up from the floor and cooed at you.

"Oh, sweet love~" His normal playful tone was weaved with heat, his words seemed to rumble through the room. Gently, he helped you sit up, kissing softly at your neck and jaw as he pulled the zipper of your dress down. You let him pull the garment up and off your head, your glazed over expression going straight to his hardening cock.

"So pretty~" Jaemin huffed in delight, leaning over to kiss you again as he unhooked your bra and slung it somewhere to the side. With a mewl, you let him pick you up again to move your further up the bed, laying you down softly and making sure your head was settled on the pillow. His next kisses were incredibly soft, going from your mouth to the crest of your cheek, your jaw, neck, collar, sternum, the swell of your breast, then his mouth sealed over your nipple. It made you shiver, but he quickly moved on, kissing to the other side, and licked over your other nipple.

"Jaemin~" You whined, needing more. He smiled, not a smirk, going back up and kissing your forehead. The man laughed when your arms lazily wrapped around his neck, trying to get him closer to kiss him again. Instead, he let you kiss over his face, his hands going to your hips and adjusting you so your legs wrapped around his waist. When he grinded his still covered hard-on into your bare core you let out a low whine.

"I need you to let me go so I can get a condom…" He laughed when you shook your head no, holding on tighter.

"Okay." He relented, wrapping his arms around you again and you yiped when he easily hauled you up and got of the bed. Holding onto him like a child, he laughed at your antics as he stooped to get his pants and get his wallet.

"You always keep one there?" You grumbled and Jaemin continued to laugh, going back to the bed.

"No, love. I planned ahead~" He let out his characteristic little-shit giggle as he laid you down again, just as softly.

"Hurry!" You wiggled, letting your legs fall so he could maneuver and get his tight black briefs off. Your jaw went slack and the smuggest simper you had ever seen on his face. No wonder he was so freaking confident all the time.

"I’ll fit." He teased and you wanted to get annoyed but was too distracted as he rolled the condom over his cock. You swallowed.

"You’re sure you’re okay with this?" His hand gently went to your cheek, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin. You turned your head, kissing his palm, and the soft gesture made his smile soften as well.

"Okay, love." Jaemin shifted, lightly gripping your hips and you buried your fingers in his soft silver hair as he brought his cock to your core, stroking it through your folds before starting to ease in. You gasped, trying not to clench too hard. It had not only been a while for you, but he was bigger than you were used to. Your whole body shivered, and you tried to relax and not clench him too much. You watched his brow furrow; you were tight around him and he couldn’t believe he finally got to be inside of you.

"Breathe, love." He smirked, helping you relax as he bottomed out. The walls of your cunt fluttered around his cock, trying to get used to the stretch and you tried to not dig your press-on nails into the skin of his back. He would change that though, planning on having red welts decorating his back when he got done. When he felt you relax more around him, and your body wasn’t as tense, he brought your legs up higher around your waist and gave a very shallow thrust.

"Fuck!" You moaned and Jaemin groaned, starting a slow pace, not wanting to overwhelm you yet.

"J-Jaemin!" You threw your head back after he gave his first hard thrust, nearly pulling all the way out before his hips snapped, carving his shape into your core.

"Oh, love, you feel so fucking good~" He let out a breathy chuckle, sitting back on his heels more, the angle change let the head of his cock hit your sweet spot. With each thrust, he fucked a little noise out of you, every once in a while, it would be his name or nonsense babbling.

"Hold on, love." He grunted, getting up on his knees more, his strong hands gripping your thighs so hard he would leave bruises, and threw your legs over his elbows. Jaemin smirked, rolling his hips and as the head of his cock hit the deepest part of your pussy, you came. It was sudden and your breath halted, and he froze, eyes clenching shut. He wanted this to last longer, and while he knew he could go more than one round, he really wanted to prolong it. You shivered slightly when it was over trying to catch your breath and he groaned, shifting on his knees, and grabbing another pillow to shove under your hips.

"Okay, get ready~" He practically giggled, and he began to fuck you in earnest. Your cunt was sensitive from cumming twice, but it still felt too good, and your mind was starting to fog. Your hands that were digging into the bedding scrabbled, gripping his back, not wanting to tear your sheets. He groaned as the rounded ends of your press-on nail dug into his skin, scratching down and leaving stinging lines all over his back. Jaemin chuckled deeply as you whimpered and moaned.

"You’re so good for me, huh?" You whined in response.

"Like my cock?" Whine.

"Fuck, I love you so much." He slumped forward, burying his face in the crook of your neck, sucking, and licking at the skin. His thrusts stayed hard, but they lost their rhythm as he got closer to his own release. Your hands moved to around his shoulders, one still scratching up his back, the other in his hair.

"Love~" You mewled, and he huffed, burying his cock as deep as he could and came. Someday, he vowed to feel the raw heat of your pussy around him. Slowly he pulled out and you whimpered, feeling incredibly empty. He realized then that he had only brought one condom…

"Great." He grumbled, but when he saw you laying there, eyes unfocused and body limp, he realized that might be for the best. Smiling softly, he leaned down, brushing the sweat-soaked hairs from your forehead and laying a kiss there.

"Be right back, love." Jaemin pecked your lips and got off the bed. You were only semi-conscious as he went and cleaned up. He came back quick, helping you get under the covers, and he turned the ceiling fan on, so you didn’t get too hot. Somehow, you managed to stay awake as he took a cold shower and you mewled for him when he came back.

"(Y/N)~" He cooed dramatically, back to his goofy self. He had put pants back on but left his shirt off, knowing you would ogle him. Giddily, while giggling, he wiggled under the covers with you.

"You’re cold…" You mumbled and he nodded with a hum.

"Warm me~!" He opened his arms to you, and you tiredly shuffled closer and slumped into his hold. You were too tied to really appreciate laying on his half-naked body, and he soothingly pet your hair, nuzzling the top of your head.

"I love you." Jaemin whispered and you mumbled something, and he huffed, "what?"

"Love you too~" Your voice was slurred with sleepiness, and you nearly instantly fell asleep. He soon drifted off as well, but about an hour later, he was awoken by a commotion.

"Noona~!"

"Chenle, wait!" Jisung shouted after him but couldn’t get to him in time as he dashed down the hall and threw your bedroom door open. When all he saw was Jaemin propped up, glaring at him with a lump next to him, the younger stopped dead.

"Get out of there!" The youngest scolded, purposefully NOT looking as he grabbed the other one and hauled him out.

"THEY FUCKED!" Chenle nearly screamed and Jaemin collapsed to the bed with a groan and Jisung dragged him down the hall, trying to get him to shut up. You grunted a bit and Jaemin smiled, you were so cute. Your eyes fluttered open and he smiled warmly.

"He’s so freaking loud." You pouted and he dramatically acted like he had been shot in the heart.

"Oh~ So cute~" He enveloped you into his arms, holding you close and rocking back and forth. It forced a tired giggle from you, and you went limp again when he finally laid still.

"You’ll be my girlfriend." It was more like a statement than a question. You hummed.

"Of course." You ran your fingers over his collarbone, finally getting to feel and see him. Another cocky grin spread over his face as you didn’t hold back, your hands stopping on the waist band of his pants. He smirked, rolling on top of you, making sure you didn’t hold his full weight.

"For now~" You furrowed your brow, wondering what he meant. One day, my wife.

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[sunmoon-starfactory]

New Feature - Story Mode

Moving forward, we are unlocking the "testing options" that beta users and ourselves use for various cheaty testing quickness. This should make it easier for everyone to get into the" supply chain" aspect of Sun&Moon sets.

We are dubbing it "Story Mode". Mostly because cheating sounds icky, but the Sims 2 is a single player game...so no one should care if you cheat anyway but also there is no need to make a player feel called out if they used a shortcut to get to the good parts of a single player game am I right?

Sun&Moon was always a project meant to simulate realistic supply chains. As we made more sets, things have become more intertwined than ever. We get that this is confusing for newcomers and truthfully, it can sometimes complicate testing. Story Mode can make it easier to get into the gameplay and get your supply chain started, or allow you to skip that entirely and still enjoy the sets.

Please note this is intended for sets from September 2024 forward. There are still intentions of updating older stations to the Crafting Points system and as that is done, this feature will be added in. A proper update notice for each set will of course be announced.

Options that can be found under the Story Mode pie menu option will include:

Fully Stock Station - This will stock the station with everything needed to make a product, no need to direct a sim to stock or even have the items gathered. Your sims will still need the proper skill levels, writs, or traits to complete the task.

Receive All Products - Don't want to even go through the manufacturing motions? Or wait for a timer to run to get to the end products? Or build up skill levels/have writs in your inventory? This action grants all end products to the sim's inventory, no fuss. This will include any Skill Level reward, such as Writs of Mastery. Warning, this can result in cluttered inventories.

Spawn - This is to force a spawner to reproduce or summon the attached item, bypassing timers in items like hunting spawners, or self propagating plants.

Action! - Makes a sim complete the animations associated with a station, but results in no ingredients needed, and no products made. Just for the looks and photoshoots really.

Of course as things develop, more options may be added to Story Mode. Note, that Decoration options are not part of Story Mode and will stay on the standard pie menu.

Turning On Story Mode

Story Mode is OFF by default, and can be activated by one of three ways:

Trait Restrictions - Built into the code already, if you use traits and don't mind adding one more into a sim's inventory add in the Story Mode trait and these menus will auto show. This method allows you to restrict by individual sims.

Lot Controller Object - Built into the code already, if you place the Sun&Moon Lot Controller Object on a lot then all the menus will auto show. This works on all sims per lot.

SimPE Edit - In the object you want to turn Story Mode permanently on; Navigate to the TTAB, select the Pie Menu Functions resource, and select a story mode option you wish to edit. Select the Pie Menu Option you wish to enable, select all numbers/text in the Guardian BHAV box and hit delete to clear the box. Commit and Save.

Recompress.

Lot Controller Object & Story Mode Trait

Including these two files here, as they directly affect this feature. Both can be found in the Misc>Misc category for $0.

Using the trait is simple, just put it in a sim's inventory and forget about it.

The Lot Object Controller however, has had several features coded into it so it's not just useless deco. More features will be added as they come up.

Hide/Show all Blocks of Blocking and Mini Blocks of Blocking

Hide/Show Sun&Moon made specific OMSPs

Inventory Transfer tool between sims. Code taken the original by mike_1102, using the mesh and texture features of Fractured Moonlight's version. Also has an invisible option.

Download

View Use/Instruction Manual

[carowleysposts]

It’s okay to care about things.

These past couple of days i’ve been noticing that a great part of our fandom is being relentlessly shamed for still loving Good Omens and not wanting it to get cancelled, and I thought i’d share my feelings about it, as I myself have been receiving hateful messages and comments because of it.

First and foremost: many people who judge don’t seem to be able to understand the power of fiction. Fiction is the art of translating reality through magical lenses and making it easier to deal with. It’s something that brings people hope, joy, comfort and brings them together even if they’re thousands of miles apart. Fiction is a shoulder to cry on, a portal to escape through and a friend to rely on. Fiction is magic in its own way, and it can (and has!) change the world in countless ways. Whether you have a happy, fulfilled and busy life or you are going through a rough patch, fiction is always there to help you navigate your own journey, and that’s why it means so much to so many people.

Secondly, it’s important that people fully understand that we do not necessarily associate our favorite pieces of fiction with the creators behind them. After JKR and all of the newly outed zionists, it’s becoming more and more clear that art can be appreciated for itself, and not tied to the person who brought it to life. Sometimes, shitty unforgivable people can make incredible things. And, as long as you don’t support or defend these people, it is okay for you to care about things important to you. It’s okay. You aren’t bad for loving something that has brought you comfort and joy.

Besides, there’s a certain power in taking things back. In looking at the person who made it and saying “this is mine now, and you are not going to ruin it for me”. And that is exactly why so many of us want this show to go on. We all want Gaiman fired. He himself has offered to step back because he is not his art and that story isn’t his anymore. It’s ours. Going on without him would only prove that, and it is okay to root for the show to survive after all that has happened. We are human, and humans need fiction. We need our little bit of magic, and that is perfectly okay.

And lastly, I would like to say that I believe in all the allegations. Even if there’s a chance of it being untrue, it’s not in my nature to doubt victims or to take someone’s side blindly just because I think they are good at their jobs. I believe his victims, I want him to pay for his crimes and I would never, ever support him. You can feel both things: despise for him and love for what he’s created alongside Terry Pratchett. You can want both things: for him to go to jail and for the show to go on in spite of him.

It’s okay to feel how you feel, to love what you love and to be vocal about it. It’s okay to advocate for your favorite show, only you know what it means to you and why. If you need to talk, I am here, I see you and I understand.

I promise we’ll be okay. 🩷✨🫶🏻

Edit: this is meant to comfort the people who are dealing with this situation as well, please refrain from commenting negative things, this is one of those “if you want to judge, do it silently” kind of things. It’s okay to stop enjoying things after stuff like that comes out, but it is also okay to still love them and care about them. Thanks! ✨

[th3-c0rps3-r0gu3]

Knights honour

Knight Natasha X fem peasant reader

Warnings: swearing. There is a make out scene that I would consider heavy but knowing you smut readers it may be on the lower level. Idk. Natasha pining for a woman she can't have. Natasha pining for a different woman than y/n. Y/n is a bit neive. Shitty Princess

A/n: sorry this has such a late release I originally wrote it at 3 am and then came back realised it was shit and rewrote it. Chapter five of arranged marriage is nearly done just editing it. Now buckle up cos we got some Cinderella shit to get through.

Natasha thoughts

Y/n thoughts

Natasha speech

Y/n speech

Princess speech (not that she matters)

Natasha had been a knight for five years. She'd been training to be a knight for as long as she could remember. Natasha was brought up around the princess. Mainly so Natasha wouldn't hate the princess when she inevitably received the throne. But it was clear that Natasha was born to be a knight. Not because of the training or because that's all she knew. But because she was a natural even as a child.

Natasha's reputation exceeded her. Kingdoms knew of her loyalty and dedication to the now Queen. And none of it was false either. Natasha was a natural with a sword. To the point she trained with both hands just to give herself a challenge. Not that that lasted long. But nevertheless it worked out. No assassin had made it to the queen when Natasha was in the job. To the point where Natasha was assigned to be the princesses personal knight. Though Natasha had suspicions that was always the goal due to the whole childhood spent together bit.

And Natasha loved her job. She loved the sword fights and training. She loved walking the cobbled streets of the palace gardens when the princess went for walks. Though not for the garden. Natasha's feelings for the princess weren't obvious but they were there. They were there when Natasha went out of her way to give the princess flowers every morning. They were there when Natasha used up all her spare time with the princess. Even when she didn't have to.

But when the princess finally introduced her boyfriend Natasha was... Devastated to say the least. She had thought it was obvious that she was interested in the princess. But then again Natasha knew the princess would always have to marry a man. She had hoped... Natasha didn't know what she had hoped. She wasn't in the mood to hope anymore. All Natasha knew was the princess. So when she was out of reach Natasha was.. lost.

Natasha pov

"damn it. I let my emotions get the better of me again. Get a grip Natasha. You knew this was coming. She's a princess. She wouldn't love you."

I silently cursed myself out as i walk along the streets of the town square. Bards played by the fountain. People seeking wares and goods were surrounding me. Just my luck to go for a walk on market day.

"damn it Natasha. You can't even get the dates right. This is why she doesn't love you."

I keep up the self deprecating thoughts. They didn't help but I need to yell at someone and I didn't know anyone other than the princess. And I was not going to yell at royalty. I hold my head up as I glance around the market. It is busy today. Not unusual but not normal either. That's until I spot a crowd around a voice selling breads and pastries.

"what's up over here. There's nothing that exciting about bread. It's literally just wheat."

I think to myself as I walk over. Pushing through the crowd only to stop dead in my tracks. I nearly choke as I see her. She's absolutely gorgeous. A woman in an apron with a messy bun and y/h/c and clear bright y/e/c. I never thought I'd see a woman more beautiful than the princess. But apparently I'm very very wrong. I catch the woman's eyes for a moment and she smiles at me. And gods that smile. If I could I would capture it and put it in a painting for me to see every day. I understand the crowd now.

"get a grip Natasha you can't drool all over the first pretty woman you see just because you got heartbroken."

I snap out of my trance and swiftly move away. Going as far as I can. Eventually I find a hidden alley where I shouldn't be disturbed and I lean against it to catch my breath and comprehend what I saw. She was magnificent. A masterpiece. No painter in the world could capture her beauty in its proper form. Why am I so frazzled by this woman. I don't even know her. I bury my hands in my face. I need a better grip on my emotions if that's how I react to every woman I see now.

Y/n pov

"I wonder why she's in such a hurry? Perhaps she forgot something or is sick.. should I check on her?"

I wonder to myself as I watch the red head flee my stall. She went red in the face and suddenly bolted. Perhaps she is ill. I frown slightly as I watch her go. Was it me? All I did was smile. I turn my attention back to my current customers. I can't linger on a fleeing sick woman. But I feel bad nevertheless.

It's cleared up by my stall. My sister has come to take over.

"I should check in on that woman from before. If she is sick she may need help."

I think to myself as I walk through the crowded market. Things have been busy this year. A good thing but it means we are running out of supplies. Mama will have to find more suppliers. I wander the cobbled streets for a bit. Looking at stalls and sellers. A lot of fake jewellery being sold this year. A ball is coming I'm pretty sure. Open to all.

"how nice of the royal family. It's been a while since I've dressed up."

I think as I pass by another jewellery stall. Eventually I see her. The woman who ran red in the face. She seems ok now. Was it me? I hope not. I walk over and gently tap the woman's shoulder. Waiting for her to turn and face me before speaking.

"hey are you ok? You ran from my stall rather red in the face. I just wanted to check you aren't sick."

I ask the woman calmly. I smile gently at her just in case she gets frightened that I sought her out. I hope I don't come across as a creep.

Natasha pov

I feel a tap on my shoulder suddenly. Not something I'm used to. I turn around and there stands the woman from before. A light smile on her lips and a gentle expression. I think I may die. Especially as she speaks. Her voice is as sweet as honey and as smooth as the finest silks.

"oh you've gone red again. Are you ok!?"

The woman asks yet again as she steps back. Grabbing a handkerchief and handing it to me. I pause realising I must have blushed. Then again who wouldn't. I can see men staring at her. Yet the woman either doesn't notice or doesn't care. I pause before hesitantly responding.

"it's ok. I go red in the face sometimes. It's... A medical condition. Nothing is wrong."

I respond carefully. The woman doesn't seem to know what blush is. Then again she doesn't seem to know a lot of things. Or she's just concerned. I can see a bit of relief on the woman's face as I reassure her. I feel a bit bad for lying but seeing the woman less worried makes me feel better.

"well that's a relief. I thought it was me or something."

The woman chuckles. And once again I'm gobsmacked. If I thought her smile was beautiful her laugh is heavenly. If I could I would bottle up the sound and get drunk on it every damn night. Then the woman smiles again and turns to leave. I don't want her to. I want her to stay and talk to me. But I have no reason to want this.

"wait. There's a ball upcoming for everyone. Go with me?"

Perhaps it was pure determination to see her again or pure stupidity that made me ask the woman this question. Fuck I don't even know her name. I don't care. I have - no need to see this woman again. She turns to me and tilts her head in a curious manner. I may swoon right here and now. She then smiles with a glint in her eyes and now I am swooning.

"sure. I'm y/n. I'll be near the food court."

The woman responds. Not even asking my name before she leaves. Vanishing into the crowd. Y/m was her name.

"I will hold the name close and dear to me. Even if this goes nowhere."

I think to myself. I turn and return to the castle. I have plans to make and a princess to guard. Realising this now I have come to the conclusion that for the first time in my life I wasn't thinking about the princess. But instead this mystery woman.

The night of the ball

Y/n pov

I stand near the food court eating whatever I can. None of it tastes as good as the stuff mama makes. But then again I have an acquired taste for her food.

"this is good. People everywhere, rich and poor. The royals are up in their pedestals as per normal. An enjoyable evening indeed."

I think to myself as I survey my surroundings. Though I am missing my partner. That woman from the market. Who I now know is Natasha romanoff. The princesses personal guard. Who knew she of all people would ask me out. Not that I'm not pretty. I am. I can tell by all the heads I turn as I walk through the streets. And then I see her. She's in a tux. A good one too. I can see her glancing around for me. And our eyes meet.

"hmm she finally spotted me. Took her a minute. I said I'd be by the food court."

I muse to myself as Natasha approaches. I smile as Natasha comes over. Her own smile is small but present. I never knew she could smile. It's... Nice. Suddenly I feel my own face pull Natasha's condition.

"you found me."

I tease gently. Munching on a quiche. These are brilliant. Still not as good as Mama's though. I'm still biased.

"the food court's placing was moved last minute."

Natasha responds. Gently leaning over me to grab an apple tart. But I don't focus on that. I'm focused on how this is a clear ploy to make me attracted to her. And be damned if it isn't working.

"oh? You work here to know?"

I ask. Still playing the innocent woman from the street. But Natasha just grins. If I wasn't attracted to her before I am now. Fuck is she hot.

"don't play dumb miss y/n. I know you're faking. I asked about you around the streets. Caught a few of your friends."

Natasha responds. Standing beside me. She's so close. I can feel her body heat. It's nice. Especially since I wore this stupidly cold dress. It looks thick but it's not.

"stalker."

I tease back rolling my eyes. I lean against Natasha. I can feel her stiffen before she relaxes and slips a hand around my waist. This feels nice.

"it's not stalking. It's.. doing a background check. I'm a knight. It's mandatory to know if who I'm seeing is trustworthy."

Natasha responds. I roll my eyes. Smiling as I look up at Natasha. She's about a foot taller than me. Yet she's the same age as me. Curious. Not that I care or it matters.

"don't be defensive I'm kidding."

I respond with a laugh. I glance at the dancers on the ball room floor. I am always jealous of how people can move like water. As if they don't truly belong on this plane and simply walk through it like mist.

Natasha pov

I can see y/n eyeing the dance floor. I pause before taking her hand and stepping out before her. Smiling sincerely this time. I bow before her and kiss y/n's knuckles.

"may I have this dance?"

I ask raising an eyebrow. I can see y/n mirroring the look and then huffing as she realises what I did. She chuckles and nods. I stand up and grasp her waist. Taking y/n out into the ball room floor to dance with the others.

As if I couldn't get more attracted to this woman she does this. Y/n is like a damn natural dancer. Moving smoother than some professionals I've seen at plays. I smile as I hold y/n. How on earth I managed to snag her I don't know. But I'm grateful. I am certainly spending more time with y/n.

I eventually glance up at the princess as the royal dance begins and the woman I crushed over for years steps into her boyfriend's arms. Yet I'm not mad or upset. My heart isn't aching. And as I glance back at y/n who is also watching the princess I realise I don't need the princess. Not when I already have one in my arms. I turn back to the royal dance. But as it goes on I realise the princess is staring at me. Me and y/n. She looks mad almost. Y/n frowns slightly.

"is she watching us?"

Y/n asks gently. Pulling herself into me. I frown slightly but nod slowly. This isn't normal. The princess never spared me a second glance like I did. Why is she upset about me with another woman.

"it seems like she is."

I respond under my breath. I hold y/n just a bit tighter until the dance finishes and me and y/n can continue our own dance

It's only a few moments later that I feel a tug on my arm and y/n tense up. I balance behind me and there is a furious princess. I frown and step away.

"I'll be back in a second y/n"

I speak to the woman I was just dancing with gently. The princess then silently grabs me and yanks me to the edge of the ball. She seems so angry.

"why is she so pissed. I did nothing wrong. Doesn't she have her own boyfriend to deal with?"

I think to myself as we both finally stop walking. I glance down at the princess about to speak before she interrupts me

"what are you doing dancing with some peasant!"

The princess snaps at me. I'm taken aback. Why would the princess be upset by that. She's never looked down on her subjects before. I step away from her.

"hey calm down. She's just my partner to the ball. There's nothing else."

I respond. Lying through my teeth. I definitely feel more. But I won't tell the princess that considering how much she seems to be upset at the prospect of me knowing any one other than her.

"does that matter! You shouldn't be with her at all! You're meant to love me!"

The princess snaps back again. I freeze. I'm... Meant to love her!? What cruel trick is this. Did the princess just want me to love her so she could have someone longing for her endlessly!?

"I'm sorry what!?"

I scowl stepping forward. I can't harm the princess. But gods do I want to. She can't make me love her. And right now I don't feel any love for the princess. And she knows it by the way her face has dropped and she's sputtering.

"forget it. Leave me alone."

I speak coldly as I return to y/n. Ignoring the small wait I hear the princess call out after me. I won't wait for someone who toyed with my emotions for years. Y/n seems concerned when I return but she doesn't ask questions which I'm grateful for. We continue our dance. The princess returns bitterly to her boyfriend and the night continues.

Y/n pov

It's been an hour since the dance. Natasha hasn't been in the best mood since the whole deal with the princess. And I honestly don't blame her. I don't know what happened but Natasha seems hurt.

"do you wanna talk about it?"

I ask gently as me and Natasha walk through the woods out the back of the castle. Natasha tenses but sighs and runs a hand through her fiery red locks. I want to do the same but now is not the time.

"she was toying with me for years. I crushed on her and she knew.. but just let me. Didn't tell me she was straight. Just let me believe I had a chance. Then she got a boyfriend and I was upset but still in love.. but now I found you and I'm moving in she's upset. She wanted me to keep longing for her so she could feel wanted."

Natasha speaks bitterly. I can understand why she's upset. No woman deserves to have her emotions played. And the princess did Natasha dirty. Trying to deny her happiness.

"she sounds entitled and a bit like an ass."

I respond smiling gently. Natasha cracks a small smile at that. A small one but it falls quickly. She sighs again. I should start counting how many times she does that.

"two sighs thus far."

"she is an entitled ass. I just didn't see it because I was blind."

Natasha responds. She looks away and I take her chin and make Natasha look at me. We have only known each other for a fleeting moment at the market. A small conversation after the market and this ball. I feel like Cinderella all of a sudden. But I get on my tip toes and I kiss Natasha.

Natasha is shocked at first. But she melts quickly and gods this is the best kiss I've ever had. Natasha bites my bottom lip demanding entrance and I give it immediately. Her tongue invades my mouth and before I know it I'm against a tree as Natasha fights against my corset. Her mouth attached to mine.

Natasha pov

I help y/n redress gently. Her hair is a mess. I love it. Her hand is in my own hair. I don't understand her fascination with it but I don't mind. I gently begin helping y/n out the woods and back towards the castle so we can catch a carriage back to the village. I'll take y/n home before going back to the palace.

"you signed sixteen times."

Y/n says softly. She's drowsy. So am I to be fair. We both need to bathe and be proper but the woods aren't a good place to do that.

"what?"

I respond chuckling slightly. Raising an eyebrow as I watch y/n lean against me. My arm around her waist. Her hand in my other.

"I decided to count how many times you sighed. And you sighed sixteen times."

Y/n responds smiling at me. I think I may like y/ns tired smile more than her normal one. She's too perfect It's insane.

"I would ask why but I think we are both too tired to question things."

I shoot back. Helping y/n into a carriage. I follow. Letting y/n pretty much fall asleep on-top of me. I smile as I watch her. Y/n drowsily gives the driver directions before promptly falling asleep. I smile and thread my fingers through her hair.

The ride is swift. Y/n lives almost in the heart of the town. Her home is attached to a bakery. I carry y/n inside since she's still mostly asleep. Her sister is dead asleep on the couch. I assume she tried to stay awake to greet y/n but oh well. We had fun at least. I take y/n down to the bathroom and run a warm bath. Undressing y/n as she groggily wakes and tries to help. I stop her and finish the job myself. Slipping y/n's body into the water. I undressing myself and slipping in with her.

After the bath I get us both out and dressed in fresh clothes. Best hope y/n's sister isn't too attached to her cotton button up and pants. I lay y/n on what I assume is her bed. Its the only vacant one and it had her clothes in the basket nearby. I'm about to leave myself before y/n grabs my arm.

"stay... Please.."

She mumbles. I crumble immediately and slip into bed with her. Y/n crawls over and into my arms. I wrap my arms around her and just hold y/n. Tonight has been the best I could've imagined. Other than the hiccup with the princess but y/n made up even more for that.

After that Natasha went to the queen and got herself reassigned to the army. Rising swiftly to general. Much to the princesses dismay. Not that Natasha cared. It wasn't her concern for the princess anymore. Natasha was fine with that. And her new position led to many benefits. Including a better horse. And a better more free schedule. One Natasha enjoyed greatly. For more reasons than one.

Natasha began properly courting y/n aswell. Causing the bakery to blow up because the general was often behind the counter watching her girlfriend covered in flour do her job. And she got free pastries and bread so a win win for Natasha. She got to watch her hot gf and got free food.

The end

[texasthoughtsaboutnothing]

EDIT: I have received several new pieces of information that I'm distributing throughout the doc that further reinforces my stance on this, and is valuable to know. Also, I have sections where I'm more clear on my stance after thinking on it for a while and following more discussions on this. I hope I don't disappoint anyone with my thoughts.

If any part of what I've written here resonated with you, I shamelessly ask that you spread it in your preferred manner, and if you feel there's parts that need work please let me know.

Still gonna regret writing this, I'm sure.

[Warning: Long. Like, really.]

Because of all the shit happening with Arknights, PM is under fire once again as it ties into the larger narrative surrounding Korea and its full on gender war (a real thing that's apparently happening).

For those who don't know, way back in July Limbus Company got the event for 4.5 that included swimsuit versions of Ishmael and Sinclair. The fact that Ishmael was in a full bodysuit while Sinclair was shirtless with a collar led the Korean equivalent of 4chan to accuse PM's lead illustrator of being a feminist, which I guess is a bad thing if you're drowning in Korean culture war bullshit.

Turns out the lead illustrator was a man so they pivoted to the CG artist Vellmori and invented a whole host of bullshit links between her and an extremist group to try and get her fired.

And in accordance with their wishes PM fired her. Except they didn't. Probably?

Most everything known from this point onwards is, bluntly, tainted. It's a lot of machine translated Korean posts or, one way or the other, hasty conclusions from people with agendas (including me, no one is immune to propaganda).

Did Vellmori reach out to a newspaper to whistleblow on PM's flagrant disregard for worker's rights? That was the story at first but follow-ups implied it might be a complete fabrication or an overstatement of her grievances (EDIT, I have received information that while there was a phonecall to Vellmori from PM, it was to set up a meeting to properly hash out next steps and any claims she was fired over the phone are incorrect, and the newspaper that reported as such quietly retracted that statement).

Did a labor union jump the gun on spreading this story to gain political capital without reaching out to PM for their side of the story? Maybe if PM's version of events is true, but that's assuming a lot of malice of an institution doing it's best (EDIT, I have received information that the people directly responsible for handling the PM issue acted independently and were later found in violation of several union laws, including allegations involving CP that I do not want to and will not get into).

PM's story is that once the harassment flared up and involved physical visits to the development office, Vellmori wanted to quit. (EDIT, I have received information that the wording of the various statements can be interpreted as Vellmori leaving of her own volition but also under encouragement; if you see claims that she was forced to resign this is what that claim references.) There was a rumor about her getting 2 years of severance pay, but I don't know if that was ever corroborated and is likely false, but she would have gotten something in accordance with Korean Law which they were found in compliance of.

Everything after announcing her termination of contract (not translating the initial announcement, framing it as a company policy issue, keeping quiet on it for months, constant vague threats of lawsuits) was supposedly a bad attempt at trying to quell the harassment by making it go away. Instead, it exploded, and now if you're a fan you'll have to deal with this coming up forever. I know there's fans who follow me that'll resent me for making this post as they just want to move on (or think I'm wrong or misrepresenting some details).

I resent making this for what its worth, and am trying my best to be accurate, but for me this is part of moving on, acknowledging the bad and the factors that mitigate it. And yes, I think there are several mitigating factors.

Why did Cassie Wei, lead singer of Project Mili who is both Korean and a woman, speak out in KJH's defense?

Why hasn't, to my knowledge, Vellmori said anything since and by and large just disappeared if she was so poorly mistreated?

Why have, again to my knowledge, none of the Voice Actors and Actresses spoken out against PM in solidarity?

Why do PM continue to have partnerships with progressive companies like Arc System Works?

Why did the labor union retract their statements against PM and apologize following an actual investigation?

EDIT: New info. Why did the labor union censure the people responsible for handling the PM issue, who later quit the group seemingly in disgrace?

Why did PM not bring their own lawyers to the meeting with Vellmori while she was allegedly encouraged to bring hers?

None of these questions completely absolve PM of wrongdoing, if you were set on condemning them it's not hard to interpret each in a very uncharitable way. For example, most of this is easily answered by the fact we live under Capitalism and we inevitably all have to swallow our morals and ideals to make rent. I could retort that maybe PM did the same by capitulating in any degree to harassment (which they have done historically as what happened with Ruina's ending) and not specifically endorsing any ideology or political belief (which is wild considering the actual content of their stories). But I think that ends with a circular argument that boils down to whether you believe in PM or not.

To be clear, even if you want to interpret all the Vellmori stuff as charitably as possible, PM undeniably fucked up and has labor issues in its history. The artist for the manga Leviathan, Monggeu, came out during the whole thing to speak on her treatment as a contractor; how she was given an impossible workload and the company denied her requests for delays, delays caused in part by suicidal depression caused by the workload. Though KJH personally apologized to her, she was let go over the phone and spoke out only after she felt the company now had a pattern of abusive work policies. The author of Wonderlab also deleted her stuff in solidarity.

That's all bad. Really bad. I stopped playing Limbus because I felt extreme disappointment with the company and managerial tendencies of KJH. Credit to a reddit user I won't name for pointing this out, but this information is far more concrete than anything involving Vellmori as Monggeu broke her silence independently months after things happened on her personal Twitter. However, there isn't nearly as much focus on this or calls for Justice for Monggeu.

This opinion is mine and mine alone, but her situation, which I must stress was awful and shameful on PM's and KJH's part, doesn't tie into a culture war like "Vellmori being fired for feminist tweets" does. It is a clear cut example of bad labor and managerial practices that lead to harm towards an employee, but its an everyday tragedy, not a martyrdom. And so I wonder how much the treatment of labor is actually part of this discussion, the more actionable issue than changing all of Korean society. I wonder if PM's supposed kowtowing to incels is highlighted above all other context because it casts PM as an enemy in a culture war.

I say the above because I've seen online culture war stuff happen before, and it scares me beyond just whether a company I like gets redeemed in the eyes of others. I have seen lives destroyed in the name of a just cause for nothing, including good progressive causes like feminism. If the only thing that would satisfy or lead to forgiveness is a revolutionary purge, do you actually want to build anything?

I digress, and I hope I didn't turn you off too much with my thoughts and fears there. It's important though, because there was ultimately an apology from PM.

In it, among other things, they laid out their flawed logic on how they wanted to handle the situation, addressed their treatment of both current employees and past contractors, and promised to improve and protect employees better. Since then, things seem to have changed at least from an outsiders' perspective. The game moved away from a strict list of deadlines and towards a more open-ended dev pipeline. The game is less buggy than it used to be after updates. They changed policies on content to make it easier to produce by limiting VA without any blowback from their VA's so we can assume proper talks were had. Translations don't have as many errors as they used to while the quality has been maintained even after losing a major translator (which is its own tale of baffling choices by the company in its own right). And they've kept all this up for Season 3 so far without any announcements of delays and, in fact, far more content than usual. All of this, to me, points to better management.

Maybe I'm naive to think so but I want to believe that the evidence points to the crimes of PM not coming from a place of malice and antifeminism but incompetence. I need to stress KJH didn't kill or rape anybody, nor was he verbally or physically abusive. He was a really shitty boss, and I understand how much it sucks to have a shitty boss, believe me. But a shitty boss can become not shitty, and my hope is that happened already, and that a company that produces good art that's worthwhile will thrive as a result.

I say all this because I actually care about this company and art it produces. If I didn't, last July wouldn't have hurt so much. If I'm cringe for it, so be it, but I believe constructive change should be recognized and rewarded, and it's for those reasons I came back after following the game for the rest of its second season.

To be clear, you don't owe a company your time or your money even if they improve their culture and policies, and if you felt that what PM or KJH has done is unforgivable you are well within your rights not to engage with it ever again or even tell others about your grievances, as much as I might disagree. But if you want them to suffer, to lose business, maybe even to go under despite how many other women work for and with them... I don't know. Please don't just think of these people as enemy units in the war against feminism? Ask yourself that if Vellmori broke her silence tomorrow and asserted she left of her own volition and condemned groups like the PMUA, would you believe her or immediately assume she's under duress?

This is not a cut and dry, black and white moral issue where a great evil needs vanquishing, it's a messy as hell moral and labor issue involving multiple people wrapped up in larger cultural and social issues no one initially involved intended. There are real people involved who stand to get hurt, not to mention who's been hurt already. Justice can involve other things than a firing squad. Please at least acknowledge that much. inb4 "No and kindly die"

EDIT, regarding the lawsuits. If you didn't know, PM is currently suing the labor union and a separate organization once called the PMUA (Project Moon Users Association) now called the KGA (Korean Gamer Association). I have seen unconfirmed reports that the former has ties to the disgraced Korean Ratings Board exposed by Blue Archive Fans for crypto bullshit. In addition, I have seen criticisms of how the PMUA used donations and their effectiveness in actual addressing PM and its labor issues, including demonstrations on days workers and management weren't even present and being the ones responsible for leaking documents that Vellmori allegedly wanted to be kept private. All of that supports PM's allegations that these organizations were in fact targeting them as part of political ploys and they never cared about any of the victims or ideals they touted as representing. For all the above, PM is suing for defamation, which is well within their rights by my reckoning. Regardless of my thoughts, this is where we are now.

Last and by no means least, feminism is good. Wanna be clear on that, I believe in equal pay, reproductive rights, that grip strength is a stupid metric to measure human rights by, that men are not owed sex and love by women regardless of circumstance, the whole shebang.

Also, what's happening in South Korea is scary and serious and bigger than just a terminally online culture war shitfest, more like an active bomb about to explode. I support the women who live there and their fight for equality, I just don't think PM fundamentally has anything to do with it and constantly trying to drag it into the line of fire feels like faux activism. I think the scope of the gender war is very far beyond the limits of gacha game discussion, or for that matter the actions of a single company of, like, 50 people.

(I swear to god if Vellmori makes a post tomorrow accusing KJH of SA or something after I wrote all this I will throw myself into the ocean.)

This will actually be the last time I talk about this unless something changes, I want to believe I was respectful the whole time and don't mean to belittle anyone for their beliefs or choices (unless you're an incel, please be better, also take a shower).

[vioartemis]

Mine (part 2)

(Wednesday Addams x fem! reader)

Summary: Your girlfriend's stalker seems to know a lot about your breakup with Enid... Part 1 || Part 2 Warnings: none a/n: I struggle writing lately, but I'll try to motivate myself more because I have so many ideas 😭 (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

A few months after you started dating Wednesday, you discovered your girlfriend had a stalker. Neither of you had an idea of who it could be, but one thing was clear: this person was up to no good.

The raven had already been threatened multiple times by her stalker but didn't pay any attention to it, thinking it was just a prank. It was only when her stalker started threatening to hurt you that she started to be worried.

You were her whole life, her reason to live. She couldn't lose you; she wouldn't know what to do without you. Now that she had you, she was ready to do everything in her power to make sure you would remain hers. Forever.

Her only problem was she didn't know who the stalker was. Usually, she would have just investigated to figure it out, but she couldn't bring you with her, knowing it might be dangerous. She also couldn't let you alone while she was away, that would give the stalker a good opportunity to hurt you.

In this moment, she almost regretted you had no friends anymore. Almost. She still believed she was all you needed.

When she had to leave you, even for a short amount of time, she would ask Thing to stay and keep an eye on you, to make sure you were safe.

What she didn't know was that the stalker -whoever it was- had no intention to harm you. Not physically at least. Of course not. Even if you were to die, the pain caused to Wednesday wouldn't be enough. She had to suffer. And they had found the perfect way to do so.

One day when Weems had called Wednesday in her office, you received a text from an unknown number.

'Your girlfriend is a toxic, manipulative liar. Here are the 'proofs' of Enid cheating on you. It's Wednesday who edited the pictures and sent them to you.'

You couldn't believe your eyes. Even with the screenshots sent by the stalker -because it was obviously them- you couldn't believe it. You didn't want to.

You decided to wait until your girlfriend got back from Weems' office and confront her.

"I'm back my love, did something happen while I was gone?" she asked right away, as per usual, the second she stepped into the room

"Actually... yes, something happened. I uh... I received a text, probably from the stalker"

Wednesday snapped her head at you the moment she heard the 'yes', blinking.

"What? Show me."

You purposefully held the phone away from her.

"Answer me first; were you the one who sent me the pictures of Enid 'cheating on me'?" you asked as calmly as you could

She certainly was taken aback by your sudden question, and it was clear she was thinking of the best answer to give you.

She could lie to you, tell you she didn’t do anything. But if you had real evidence, you would hate her if she lied. More than you would hate her if you knew what she’d done.

She was going to have to tell you the truth, it was the best thing to do to make sure she wouldn’t lose you.

"Yes. It was me."

You felt your heart sink at her words. You would've never thought she would do something like that.

"... Why?"

"It was for your own good, Y/n, I-"

"For my own good? You hurt me for my own good?" you cut her off, your anger building up "You ruined a perfectly good and healthy relationship that made me happy!"

"She wouldn't have made you happy a long time. You were not meant to be. I know I am the one for you. Aren't you more happy with me, cara mia?"

She spoke calmy and took your hand in hers softly. This simple touch was almost enough to calm you down.

"I am. But this... this is not healthy. Everything is based on a lie..."

"I did it for you. For us."

"No. No. You did it for you."

The anger was back, and made you snatch your hand away from hers before continuing.

"It was never about me. You just couldn't bear to see me with someone else. You had to have me all for yourself, didn't you? No matter how that would hurt me."

"No, that is not-"

"It is. It's exactly what it is. You're just selfish, Wednesday. Did you ever even considered the fact that I might not develop feelings for you? That you might have ruined my life?"

She did not consider it, not even once. She was sure you would love her because you were meant to be, weren't you? She could feel it. She couldn't explain it, but she knew you were made for her and vice versa.

She believed you were her soulmate, but she never realized she might not be yours. That would be cruel. And not how she liked it.

"Y/n-"

"No." you raised your hand and grabbed your bag "I'm going to my dorm. Don't follow me."

You didn't let her say anything else and stormed out of her room. You were angry and felt betrayed. You just wanted to be alone.

Wednesday watched you leave, her stomach twisted uncomfortably. She wanted to follow you, to call you back, to do anything to make sure she wasn't losing you. But you told her not to, and it would upset you more if she did.

She couldn't lose you. Not now, not after everything she'd done. You loved her, she knew it. Yet, she couldn't help but feel nervous. What if you went to Enid? What if she still loved you and tried to get you back?

She didn't have news of you for the next two days. You were doing your best to avoid her, and she didn't like it. It was torture -and not the good kind.

It was torture for you too, as much as you hated to admit it. You missed her so much. It was almost concerning how fast she got you addicted to her. You wanted to come back to her, hug her, kiss her... But you were mad she lied to you. And you wanted her to understand that.

But again, you missed her. So so much. You had trouble sleeping at night without her, and during the day you just missed her sarcastic remarks, the feeling of her hand in yours, the way she looks at you like you're the eighth wonder of the world.

You just couldn't stay away from her any longer.

You barged in her dorm after classes that day and grabbed her face to kiss her, not even letting her the time to understand what was happening.

She was taken aback by your sudden arrival after three days without even looking at her, but that meant you weren't leaving her, and that was the most important to her.

She held you close, hands on your waist, while she kissed you back. She'd missed that as much as you did.

After a moment, you pulled away.

"I'm still mad at you. But I just can't seem to be without you..."

"Cara mia-"

"No, let me talk, please"

Your girlfriend looked at you and nodded, a bit nervous about what you were about to say next.

"No more lies, and no more things like that, okay?"

"Of course, mi amor. I promise you I will be fully transparent now."

You smile at her words.

"Okay, I believe you. I love you Wednesday"

She nodded at your answer. She was relieved that you believed her, that you still loved her.

If she was determined to discover who her stalker was before, now she was ready to do everything in her power to figure it out. Whoever it was, they tried to take you away from her. And that she would not forgive.

[Previous part]

[jpitha]

Here to Help

I was thinking about my Oxygen Breather's story and how much I liked the universe, so I took an old Flash Fiction Friday story and edited, fleshed it out and stuck it into the same universe.

I was sure this was the end.

We were on a cargo ship, doing a run to a station run by a local cartel - the captain knew it was a risky job, but we needed the money - when pirates had Flashed in, right next to us! They were incredibly reckless with their use of their FlashWarp drive. Their weapons shredded our defenses. We new we should surrender and the pirates might only take our cargo, but the captain - knowing who owned the cargo - made a run for it anyway. They fired a grapple and caught us before we could even think that we had gotten away.

When they boarded, there was a minor firefight. We were a cargo ship, but the captain kept up weapons training in between Flashes. Partly as something to do and partly to help repel boarders. It was futile though, we were completely outgunned. They killed the captain and the command deck officers immediately. They stole all our cargo and captured us. "For ransom" their translator modules said with a mechanical laugh.

We were all lead aboard the pirate ship in chains.

Not everyone was resigned to their fate. While in transit, two people conspired to try and overpower the guard who brought our food and steal their weapon. When they tried though, they were the ones overpowered. They were executed in front of us and from then on we received no food.

We had docked at a large station and I overheard one of the guards saying that we were going to be sold. I knew the life expectancy of slaves out here and decided that - one way or another - that was not going to be me. A demi cycle after we docked, they started feeding us again so we wouldn't look so scrawny for sale. At the second meal they had opened the door to give us our barely edible "food" and I saw the hall beyond. I ducked under out captor and ran as fast as I could.

Hearing their shouts, I didn't waste energy with a glance back.I just ran.

Sliding around a corner, I heard the crack of hull spalling as their energy weapon missed me. I dove headfirst out of their airlock and landed in a pile. Scrambling, I got back up on my feet and ran again. I was on a strange starbase, with no idea where I was, let alone even a way to call anyone for help. Not paying attention to where I was going, I ran full into this being.

Quickly apologizing and standing, I looked up at them, and then boggled. They were taller than me, and dense, and wore an armored pressure suit, polished to a glossy blue. I had no idea who they were; I had never seen anyone like them before. I was struck with how... shiny the suit was. It was almost wet. They must spend hours polishing it to get it looking like that. I knew enough that there were some sapients that couldn't breathe our manganese sulfur atmosphere, but I never had seen one in person. My frill shook with the realization that they were trapped in their suit. They were bipedal with an even number of appendages. Even though their suit I could see that they had surprisingly delicate fingers, made for high dexterity work.

They bent down, and as they did, their dark helmet cleared, revealing a bilaterally symmetrical face with two eyes and long red fur on the top of their head, piled behind the helmet. As they bent down their translator module clicked.

please speak so that the appropriate language family can be found and translated.

"Um. Help me? I don't know where I am, and people are after me. My ship was captured and we were all taken prisoner to be sold here as slaves."

After a moment passed - for the translator to work I assumed - the being's close set eyes went wide and they leaned back in surprise. I held up my arms, still shackled to reinforce my predicament.

Their translator was smooth and very natural sounding. They clearly had access to high technology. They could have been a storyteller with that voice! "Of course we'll help you. I hate slavers. Let's go rescue your friends." The translator really was excellent. I could hear the venom in their voice. They were not lying about hating slavers, that much I knew."

What?" The being in the blue suit made a gesture with their delicate fingers. Before I could blink 5 more of the black suited individuals appeared, all carrying massive rifles. They looked like slug throwers to me. I was sure slug throwers were illegal on all Coalition stations, but they either had an exception, or didn't care.

Wondering how much longer I had to live, I lead them back the way I came and they appeared at the umbilical to the pirate's ship.

In their clear, melodious voice the black suited leader called out: "Surrender yourselves slavers, and you will survive. Resist and perish."

At that, the pirates fired a single shot at the figure. It splashed off their helmet, and they didn't even flinch! Once again, the leader bent down and spoke to me.

"Wait here a moment please."

With no thought given to their own safety, not even crouching down, they strided into the slaver vessel. As ordered, I stayed back, listening to the sounds of battle. Immediately I heard the pirates attack. The sharp crack and wine of their rifles was countered with the tremendous noise the rifles that the black suited ones carried. Some were a report loud enough to be an explosion, and a few of them carried ones that chattered and roared almost continuously. After hardly any time at all the shouts and taunts from the pirates became screams and whimpers.

It felt like moments, but I guess a two or three millicycles passed and they came back out with all of my surviving crew behind them.

The blue suited leader came up to me. "There you go. They won't be bothering anyone anymore. Do you have a way to go home?"

I ruffled my frill in the negative.The leader looked back at her crew and made a gesture. Replies in the assent came back from them and they made some gestures on the pad attached to their arm.

"With the crew dead, and the ship captured as a legal Spoil of Battle - it was nice of them to fire first - I declare this ship to legally be yours now."

I stood dumbstruck. My frill waved up and down in surprise. Remembering my manners, I opened my mouth and said "T-thank you."

"You're welcome. We're happy we could help." And as they stood back up, I realized they were leaving. I had to know. "Wait! Who are you?"

They turned and cleared their helmet again. In their clear, musical voice the translator said "My Name is Miriam Elemii and these are-" she gestured "-Miriam's Marauders. We're a Human mercenary group.""Human?""Yup! Glad to meet you. Now, keep in touch, we'd love to hear how you're getting on, and if you ever need some help-" she handed me a card "-Give us a call."

As they walked away, my new crew came over to me, cheering and singing how proud they were of me and how pleased they would be to follow me from now on. I just stared and watched them walk away.

[lvrsmg]

something there pt. 4

minors do not interact! 18+ only!

pairing: assassin!mingi x assassin trainee!reader (gender not specified but reader is presumed to have a vagina)

part one: here!

part two: here!

part three: here!

theme: smut! crack for a second if you squint, fluff? a less angst in this

word count: 5.5k

cw: SMUT!! no specific terms are used but description of oral (reader receiving) is describe with a vagina, use of pet names (baby), praise, soft sex!, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap!) but reader is on hearth control, mingi being soft dom (ish), i think swearing (let me know if i missed anything!)

lowercase intended!

a/n: so so so sorry for the late update: this is kinda rushed so i'll def me going back in and editing later this week! part 5 is coming but it might take some time! school has been eating me up : but please enjoy!!! as always, feedback & comments are always appreciated !!

enjoy 🩵🩵 !!

~~

white. bright white, blinding lights that pierced through the thin skin of your eyelids, your throat emitting a small groan at the light.

you lifted your arm, bringing it up to shield your eyes, rubbing between your brows. 

your arm felt like it weighed a ton, another groan coming from you.

but the light suddenly disappeared, shadow casting over your face.

you let your arm fall, blinking your rested eyes open and looking at the cause of the shadow.

a man with soft cheeks and smiling eyes beamed down at you. the black haired man resembled a puppy, looking far too happy.

“hi!” he chirped, still shielding the light, “i’m yunho!”

you nodded, slowly propping yourself up on your arms, which shook under your weight.

“woah- hey, alright!” the man, yunho, was quick to help you, adjusting your pillow as well, leading you up and back to rest against the headrest of the bed.

“where am i?” you quite literally croaked, clearing your throat and rubbing your eyes- which had finally adjusted to the light of the room.

“in the hospital wing, at the compound.” yunho had walked off now, rustling over at the counters.

“you’ve been out for two days now.” you blinked after he told you, rubbing your eyes again.

when you looked at him again, he handed you a glass of orange juice, as well as three pills.

you took them, looking at him in suspicion.

“they'll pick you up.” he assured, to which you shrugged, tossing the pills back and chasing them with the juice.

“you’ll need a week or so more to fully heal, but you’re good to walk around.” you watched yunho send a text, making himself comfortable by sitting on the bed beside you.

“oh. okay, thanks. is- is hongjoong upset?” you voice was small.

yunho looked at you, and smiled. he shook his head.

“you did a good job, we got the file! he just wants you to heal, alright?” yunho patted your shoulder.

you nodded hesitantly.

rather suddenly, the wing doors shot open, a dirty-looking mingi running in.

he ran up to your bed, panting, stopping further than you hoped.

“hey,” he spoke through heavy breaths.

he was beyond happy to see that you were okay- that you were alive. he hadn’t slept, and you could see that from the bags under his eyes. 

your heart clenched as you took in the state of him.

his face was coated in what looked like a mix of ash and dirt, a cut across his left cheek bone was bleeding, his hair and clothes in a similar state of disheveledness- he had clearly just returned from a mission.  

his eyes were glossed over, lips parted and glossy and letting out heavy huffs.

“hi,” you finally said, meeting his eyes.

yunho glanced between you two.

“ar- i’m glad you- you’re up.” he finally came to his senses, nodding. “hongjoong said good job for the mission. you did good.”

you nodded, and now you were the speechless one.

“why- why’re you going on missions already? i was only out for two days.” you looked away from his eyes, taking in- again- the state of his clothes.

maybe you were just making conversation, but mingi still basked in the way that you were almost worrying about him.

“oh, hongjoong just- the- it was an emergency mission.” he watched you watch him, not wanting to look away.

“oh.” you said, “just be- you should be careful, i don’t want you to- or, i mean, i think a lot of people don’t want you to get hurt, or something..” you stuttered helplessly, and mingi almost smiled.

his heart thumped loud in his ears. did you care about him, or was he delusional?

“this is hard to watch.” yunho muttered, making both you and mingi look at him.

“i’m heading out.. mingi, show y/n to a room. i’ll let you sort whatever this is out.” the older man shook his head, leaving the wing.

you and mingi wanted yunho leave. and then, as expected, silence.

you didn’t look at him again, but he looked at you.

he always looked at you.

“uh, you can take any room you want really, um, unless it’s on the 3rd floor, those are all taken.” mingi informed you.

you nodded, looking at your hands in your lap.

“you’ll be alone here, for the most part, the guys and i are all going out for targets most days, but i’ll- we’ll stop by when we can.” he adjusted his vest.

again, you nodded, no other words exchanged.

“i’m glad you’re okay.” he spoke so fast, you barely understood him. but he was out of the door before you could ask him anything further.

‘he’s glad i’m okay.’ you thought to yourself, fighting a huge smile.

mingi, on the other side of the door, bit his lip, trying to contain the equally huge smile gracing his lips.

“mingi, we’re heading out.” hongjoong’s voice scratched into his earpiece, and mingi shook himself out of his schoolboy mindset.

pressing down on the tech, he answered, “coming,” and jogged away.

not long after mingi had gone, you heard the muffled noise of a helicopter taking off, leaving you and your thoughts.

you only got out of bed a few minutes later, venturing around the compound, which was smaller than you thought, considering it had a whole hospital wing.

either way, it was a lovely house. lots of food, a cinema room, and you found yourself comfortable in one of the rooms on the second floor.

you couldn’t help but notice the slight mess around the compound, and decided to busy yourself cleaning that.

and did you ever clean.

originally a one-day plan, the project stretched over three days.

it was never terribly messy to begin with, but you cleaned as if it was, and left the compound literally spotless.

spotless as in under the couch, in the fridge, every sill, edge, crook and cranny that was around the house, leaving no place untouched. you cleaned all 4 guest rooms, all 6 bathrooms, the pool, you mowed the lawn and clipped the hedges. you even cleaned on top of the fridge.

it was the same routine everyday: wake up, eat frosted flakes and an apple, clean, order in lunch, clean, order in dinner, clean, eat ice cream, fall asleep in the cinema room. repeat.

you didn't sleep in the room assigned to you- it smelt too new, it felt cold and unwelcoming. like a hospital room.

so you opted instead to fall asleep to the smell of popcorn and the quiet buzz of a marvel movie.

on the third day, you conquered the bedrooms.

you did feel invasive, so you made sure to do a general clean, not touch anything personal or go into any drawers. each room had a nametag on the door, which you found adorable, and helpful.

you left mingi’s room for last, not really sure why you did, it was just instinct.

you pushed the door open, immediately being hit with the smell of his cologne. your muscles tensed, but not in a bad way. you made your way in, looking around his abode.

his bed was unkempt, a dark blue polka-dotted duvet thrown messily over the mattress wrapped in oddly plaid sheets, matched with floral pillows. you laughed a bit, wondering what was up with his strange choice of bedding, but shook your head, and collected laundry to clean.

you noticed the way his clothes were strewn everywhere, his floor had more clothes than his closet and dresser. 

the walls were not decorated much, apart from some shelves with a couple books and plants, which you assumed were fake. you pulled open the long curtains from the window, light finally filling the room. along the window sill you noticed pictures of him and another boy who looked older than him.

‘a brother,’ you assumed, smiling.

the other pictures were one of him with his mom, another with the whole group, and you only recognized yunho and hongjoong, studying the faces of the others as well. you finally put the pictures down, feeling pleased to know that he did have some personality to him after all.

and, against your better judgment, you put the laundry basket down, deciding to look around a bit more.

you inspected all of his clothes, noticing they weren’t plain, boring clothes like you expected, but nice pieces.

he had a genuine sense of style- a smile fought its way onto your lips, making you hold up and look closer at his clothes.

if you had to raid anyone's closet, it would be his.

shaking your head, you tossed the dirty clothes into the laundry basket, jogging out of the room and to the laundry room.

it was strange, the odd connection you felt to his room. the weird magnetism  you felt pull you to his room, tempted to stay in there, taking in his comforting smell.

‘ew. creepy, y/n.’ you shuddered at your own thoughts.

after running the cycles of clothes, you walked back to mingi’s room reluctantly, picking up trash, cleaning the window and mirror he had hung up. you replaced the mismatched sheets with coordinated blue ones, which were all varying shades of the color.

eventually, his room was clean but still homey, and you slipped out to finish the laundry.

thankfully, you had kept all the clothes separated, so you knew which clothes belonged in which room.

and again, after folding and returning the clothes to the right rooms, you left mingi’s room for last.

for a reason you couldn’t explain, you spent longer in his room, putting his clothes away with more care, hanging up his hoodies with a gentleness, making sure his shirts had no creases.

when you were done, you sat back on his bed, admiring your work.

the whole compound was finally clean, no dirtiness left in sight.

except you.

you had slightly forgotten to change out of the shirt and sweats you woke up in (you weren’t sure who changed you, but you ignored the fact for that moment), and you were filthy.

the final challenge was to clean yourself off.

you made your way down to the first floor, stopping by the hospital wing to grab a new bandage for your wound, and then to your room, where you stripped down in the openness of your own room, knowing no one else was home, and walking into the washroom, stepping into the shower.

managing to find a razor, face cleanser, body wash, and everything you might need for a shower, you stepped into the hot water.

you gave yourself an everything shower, shaving yourself down, scrubbing every joint and inch of your skin, deeply washing your hair, conditioning thoroughly, the whole ordeal.

you were careful around your wound, which had a waterproof bandage on it. you planned to clean and change that

when you finally stepped out, you felt cleaner than ever, patting yourself down and massaging lotion into your skin. you carefully peeled off the bandage on your abdomen, wincing at the wound, which was definitely healing, and very carefully cleaned over it with iodine and alcohol, placing the new bandaid securely over it.

tying your hair back, you finished smoothing lotion over the expanse of your skin, tapping yourself dry with the towel and securing it over yourself to stay concealed.

but then it hit you- you had no new clothes.

with a frown, you ventured out of your room in only your towel, padding upstairs, leaving wet footprints behind you.

it wouldn’t hurt to borrow mingi’s clothes, right?

right.

besides, he wasn’t here.

he wouldn’t know.

it would be washed and put away by the time he returned- whenever that might be.

so, that being said, you confidently sauntered into his room, pulling his closet open and shuffling around for some basketball shorts and a hoodie, which you found.

you smiled a little- this felt natural. going through his clothes to find something to wear instead of wearing your own clothes.

your smile grew at your delusions, imagining him getting all pouty and upset about you taking his clothes, but he would secretly love the way they hung off your frame, and preferred to see them on you than him.

your smile fell.

what the hell were you thinking?

you shook your head, covering your face.

“don’t be stupid, y/n.” you muttered.

you let your towel fall, pulling on mingi’s large clothes, adjusting the waist band of the shorts, and pulling the hoodie up over your head.

you let out a sigh, feeling finally clean and accomplished.

your next plan was to return to your room, or the cinema room.

…but did you really have to?

mingi’s bed was right there.

you slinked your way over, sitting on the clean, soft sheets.

and his room smelled just like him.

you slowly lifted the covers, slipping under them.

and it would be back for your back if you fell asleep half-sitting again, right?

tugging the covers up to your nose, you let out a yawn.

he wouldn’t mind- let alone know.

eyes becoming heavy, you blinked slowly, shuffling to get comfy.

this was good. this felt comfy. this felt like mingi.

another yawn broke across your face, your eyes staying shut.

he wouldn’t know. it’s fine.

before realizing, you had drifted into a deep sleep, your breaths slowing and your body relaxing after 3 days of hard work.

~~

you woke up in the same bed, a smile gently gracing your lips. the smell was nice. the smell of mingi.

a slight groan fell from your lips as you stretched, rubbing your eyes before opening them, lifting your head a bit, ensuring you were still in mingi’s room.

you were, indeed.

and nothing had changed. the cleanliness, the soft touch of the duvet, the feel of mingi’s clothes on your form.

you sat up, stretching your arms up again.

you glanced out of the open windows, which were uncovered by curtains, and saw the moon high in the sky, rain falling heavy and hard against the window- you had slept longer than intended.

but the sound of the rain was nice. just perfect silence. 

complete solitude.

and then you saw it.

despite your vision being blurry with sleep, you saw it.

a person, coming into the room.

feeling against the wall and flicking on the light.

you screamed bloody murder.

the person let out a yelp.

you sprung out of bed, grabbing the nearest object- an alarm clock, in this case, and chucking it at the person with no hesitation, who caught it.

“get out! you- you’re trespassing!” you were quite disoriented, fumbling to grab anything to throw at the person, which included a fake succulent, two pillows and a book.

it was embarrassing to see a (newbie trainee) assassin act this way.

you sprung the closet open, fumbling around for something to throw at the intruder, eventually finding a belt.

you raised your hand before you turned, but when you did, your wrist was caught in action.

“y/n.” the person spoke in an alarmingly deep voice.

an oddly familiar deep voice, at that.

“wh- huh?” you blinked, rubbing your eyes again.

after squinting and adjusting to the light, the person- a man- came into clear view.

“oh.” you said.

“yeah,” said mingi, “oh.”

you looked at him for a few seconds longer before yanking your arm out of his grip, standing upright again.

“what’re you doing here? you can’t just appear like that. it’s creepy.” you cleared your throat, putting the belt down.

“what am i doing in my room..?” mingi glanced around a bit, ensuring that it was, in fact, his room.

you opened your mouth, gaping like a fish, but no words came from you.

mingi shook his head, taking in your frame, eyeing you up and down. 

a smirk crossed his lips.

“wearing my clothes ‘n everything, look at you.” his tone made heat rush to your cheeks, avoiding his eyeline and crossing your arms as if trying to hide the hoodie.

“i didn’t have any clothes.” came your muttered explanation.

mingi nodded as if understanding, a smirk working its way onto his lips.

“ah,” he nodded again, “you got comfortable real fast, hm?” 

you didn’t reply, staring at the ground with furrowed brows, scoffing a bit.

“hey,” his voice was suddenly serious, and his index and middle finger were tipping your head up before you could even register it. “i don’t mind it. ‘s cute.” 

your mouth fell a bit open at the gesture.

“w- i- i’m-” you helplessly stuttered, the tiny touch of his fingers on your chin had sent you feeling.

you quickly pushed them away.

“i- i cleaned the whole place. i think i have rights to- to wear what i want.” you finally managed, stepping around the tall man, picking up the things you threw and putting them back in their respective places. 

mingi turned to watch you. the way you fit right into his room pulled at his heartstrings, why did you have to look like you belonged there?

you stepped away from the bed, looking at mingi.

“why’re you here, anyways? where are the others?” you took in his oddly casual outfit, he was dressed in big black jeans and a loose leather jacket, and the way he wore his clothes made you giddy for a weird reason.

“they’re still out. they said someone had to stay home with you ‘cause they wont be back for a couple days.” he explained, setting down his duffle bag.

“a couple days? what?” you panicked slightly at the fact, “like, just me and you? alone?”

mingi nodded.

your heart skipped a beat.

was this a curse or a blessing?

why didn’t he seem as bothered as you were? 

why wasn’t he panicking?

“okay well, just don’t- don’t mess up my cleaning.” you ordered, staying safe and at distance at the door.

“this is literally my home.” he mumbled under his breath, removing his leather jacket, leaving himself in a simple black tee, and you cursed yourself for the way your eyes followed the strong build of his arms, and ran across the expanse of his shoulders.

you looked away when he turned back around, suddenly finding the door frame very interesting.

mingi hid his smile.

“i need to go to sleep, so you should go.” he waited for you to leave.

you sighed on the inside. back to the damn hospital looking room.

“i was going anyway. not to sleep, i- i’m going to watch a movie.” you told him as if he cared.

“great. turn off the light on your way out.” he began pulling his shirt off, and you were quick to run out, flicking the light off as you jogged down the hall.

you let out a breath.

so did mingi.

while you made your way down to the cinema room, mingi stared at the place where you had been sleeping as he changed into his boxers, letting a small smile grace his lips.

it was weird.

you slept on the right side of the bed, but mingi’s side was always the left side.

a few minutes passed, both of you so close to each other, but also so far.

the rain carried on, thunder rolling slightly. 

you tensed. so did mingi.

it was easy to ignore the thunder. until it grew, getting louder and angrier with each loud booming clap.

mingi saw the flashes of lighting from his window.

and for some reason, he suddenly hated how empty his bed suddenly felt.

meanwhile, you hated how strongly it smelt of popcorn in the cinema room. you hated how the thunder seemed to shake the room.

you glanced at the empty seat beside you, staring at the red velvet material.

mingi stared at the mattress, where the sheets were ruffled a bit and the right side pillow at a dip in it.

you nibbled a nail.

mingi gnawed his lip.

‘he wouldn’t mind, right?’ you thought.

‘would she think that it’s weird?” he thought.

the thunder crashed louder than before, making you jump.

you stood from the cinema seat, pacing around the platform, really thinking if you should go join him.

mingi stood as well, walking around his, now clean, room. he quickly tugged on a large shirt

you stared at the door.

he stared too.

another clap of thunder, somehow louder than the last.

simultaneously, you both opened the doors of your rooms, mingi to the cinema room, and you to his room.

mingi’s strides were long, no hesitation.

yours mirrored his, you knew what you wanted.

you both met, him at the top of the stairs, and you at the bottom.

you looked up at him, and him down at you.

“i-”

“i’m-”

you both spoke at the same time, both stopping at the same time as well.

silence fell.

“it’s cold, um, in the cinema room.” you explained.

“oh.” said mingi. “is it?”

you nodded.

“do you have an extra blanket?” you asked.

mingi nodded. 

“you should come get it.” he offered.

you nodded, hurrying up the stairs and jogging up to him, standing closer than you really needed to after another boom of thunder shook the compound.

instinctively, you grabbed his arm, holding tight.

mingi looked at your hand around his arm. as did you.

a second passed, and you let go quickly, but didn’t back up.

no words were exchanged before mingi led the way to his room, pushing his door open.

you followed him in, feeling thankful that the light was on.

“uh, the extra blanket, right?” he spoke looking at you.

you went to nod, but the sound of thunder and quick flash lightning interrupted you, making you jump again.

then, a buzz, and the lights turned off.

you grabbed mingi’s hand, and his hand wrapped around yours.

“why don’t you just- let’s just sleep here, okay? both of us.” you could hear the voice, and you nodded before remembering he couldn’t see you.

“yes- yeah. good thinking.” 

mingi led you to his bed, you immediately slid into the right side, and him to the left.

your touches parted for a moment, before you found each other again, like gravity was pulling you together, your hands tangling together as a newfound inclination.\

neither of you spoke, the silence filled with the loud noises of the storm rolling over outside.

“are you scared?”  you whispered after the silence.

“no.” mingi whispered back, lying right through his teeth.

you didn’t answer.

“are you?” mingi inquired.

your hands gripped his a little tighter.

“just a little.” came your response.

silence.

mingi’s free hand snaked around your waist, pulling you close into him, making you both end up chest to chest.

almost naturally, your limbs tangled together comfortably, 

both your hands were holding onto his one, his left hand was resting on your back, his thumb rubbing up and down softly.

“it’s okay, it’s just a storm.” he rested his chin on your head, you inched your face closer into his chest.

“okay.” you whispered.

it was laughable, two deadly assassins tangled together in fear of a simple thunderstorm and a power outage.

neither of you slept, both just waiting for the storm to pass.

but you spoke first.

“mingi?” your voice was a little above a whisper now.

“mm?” he answered. you felt the hum in his chest.

“what did that mean in the hotel? that morning a couple of days ago?” his heart dropped.

he didn’t answer, but he could feel your heart rate increase.

you felt his go up too.

“and on the hood of the car after you got shot?” you pushed further.

“i don’t know,” he swallowed, “what do you want it to mean?”

mingi and your eyes had adjusted to the dark by now, both of you could make out the soft outline of each other's faces.

you looked up at him.

he looked at you.

“i want it to mean something.” you told him.knm 

“something?” he breathed.

“anything.” the words came out as a plea, almost as if you were begging him to confirm he felt what you did- whatever that might be.

and he did.

his head dipped and his soft lips pressed against yours, merging together in perfect harmony, no waiting, no hesitations and no interruptions.

it was and it was real.

it was everything all at once. it was his hand soft on your cheek and both your breaths increasing in speed and heaviness at once.

he lifted his upper body, hovering over you, the duvet and sheets messing up.

your lips didn’t break, not even for air. your hands were all over him, his roaming you.

you ran your hands up his neck, tangling them in his fiery locks, goosebumps rising in the wake of your fingers.

“tell me to stop if you need to stop.” he spoke into the kiss, and you nodded.

“you too.” your breath was heavy.

mingi’s hands lifted his shirt off, your lips breaking, but you latched onto him as soon as you could, sitting upwards.

he helped you out of his hoodie, hands dragging down the expanse of your torso as you tossed the hoodie away.

his lips kissed down along your chest, down to your naval, hand hands gently laying you back down.

“mingi,” you sighed his name, hands tangling back into his hair.

he hummed in response.

his fingers hooked around the waistband of his shorts you were wearing, looking up at you.

“please.” you whined, nodding.

he slipped you out, leaving you open and spread for him- just for him.

“so pretty,” his voice was like a purr, his lips burning against your already hot skin.

the storm was forgotten outside, both of you hyper fixating on each other.

his kisses went from your belly button, down, down, down.

you whined and squirmed, his hands gripping your waist to keep you still.

“stay still for me, y/n.” he was so demanding, so soft but so firm.

you bit your lip, nodding, doing your best.

he pressed a kiss against your clit, finally, and your head rested back from the flowers rising in your tummy from the kiss.

“mingi,” you were out of breath, his name was like a chant, falling from your lips over and over.

the next touch against your core was his tongue, a long and slow drag, your hands tightened in his hair, earning a groan from him, sending vibrations up through you.

your hips threatened to buck up, but one of his hands kept your pelvis held down, the second slipping into your hole, two fingers at once.

your back arched up off the bed in pleasure, a loud moan tumbling from your lips.

his tongue was all over you, in all the right places, inside, around, over, everywhere, and his fingers followed.

“so good, you’re so good for me.” he muttered against you, and you nodded, babbling nonsense, begging for more.

you dared to lift your head and look down at him, and god a new wave of wetness gushed over you at the sight of the man between your thighs.

his nose was slick, the lower half of his face wasn’t visible- buried deep into you. but his eyes, his eyes stared dead into you, not breaking away. dark and unwavering, he absolutely devoured you, watching your eyes roll back and face contort in pleasure.

you sounded as delicious as you tasted, loud, full moans of yours filling the room, whimpers and whines working their way in between every now and then.

“‘m so- ‘m close, mingi, pease- hnng..” you barely managed to warn him, feeling the knot tighten impossibly in your stomach.

“c’mon, baby, for me.” his voice rolled over you, and the knot snapped before you could stop it, a high pitched whine falling from you.

his slick-coated fingers worked their way into your mouth, you greedily sucked your own juices off of him, and he watched, freeing in absolute awe for a long moment.

“so good, aren’t you?” he praised, pulling his fingers away from you, and tugging off his boxers. his hard-on sprung free, long, thick, leaking and so red that it looked painful. his level of self control was impressive.

“n-no,” you whimpered when he pulled off, sitting up fast and reaching for him immediately.

“‘s okay baby, ‘m here. you okay to take me, hm? can you do that?” his tone had you reeling, nodding fast, already ready for him again.

“please, mingi, please.” your eagerness was nothing but a turn on for him, knowing you were just as willing as him was going to make him go feral.

he hovered over you again, kissing you again, and your hand went down to wrap around his length. he shuddered under your touch, arms almost giving out.

“‘s so big, min.” you spoke into the kiss, gently running your hand up and down, running your thumb over the tip.

mingi inhaled sharply, pulling away from the kiss.

“condom- i dont have a condom.” his eyes were filled with only worry, but you pulled him back in quick, engulfing him in another kiss.

“‘m on the pill.” you assured him, and he only kissed you harder.

he lined himself up slowly, his tip poking at your hole, and you clenched around nothing yet.

“go slow.” you leaned your head back as he kissed down your neck, feeling his nod, and he slowly pushed into you.

your mouth fell open in a silent moan, and his brows furrowed in pleasure, a moan coming from him at the tightness of your warmth.

“mingi,” his name was a whimper, and he pushed further in.

“‘m here baby.” he assured, wincing in pleasure at your nails digging into his back, gripping on for dear life.

“a-all the way, please.” you begged, and he complied, pushing into the hilt.

you had never felt so full, ever, and you let your head fall back, a low moan escaping you.

he moved nice and slow at first, keeping his lips connected on you, but his speed and rhythm picked up easily, his hips snapping fast against yours.

you became a babbling mess again, and he listened, loving the way you looked, felt and sound.

you were two sweaty bodies, held close together like your lives depended on it, not daring to let go.

“fu- fuck, baby,” mingi groaned, “god, y/n,”

it was messy but it was real. it was rough but it was meaning filled- it was everything and nothing at once.

mingi felt himself getting closer, the fucked out look on your face didnt make it easier for him to hold on.

“y/n, i-” he interrupted himself with a moan.

you nodded, knowing what he meant.

“m-me too.” 

he sped up, his grip on your waist would definitely bruise, and the scratch marks you left would last just as long as a bruise.

“cum f-for me, baby, c’mon, for m-me.” his hips stuttered.

“‘m there.” you bit your lip hard, head falling back.

your organsms hit you both at the same time, pulsing through both your cores.

his lips met your again, kissing you through it.

mingi slipped out when his lips left yours, almost collapsing on top of you, but managing to move to the side in time.

your fast and heavy breaths were all that sounded for a long time, your body was worn out, and as was his.

but he still stood, shuffling to the washroom, rummaging around in the dark.

you turned to your side, watching him do whatever it was he was doing.

the next minutes were a blur, but mingi came and picked you up, letting you go pee in the bathroom, helping clean you up and get back into his clothes, picking you back up, and placing you on the floor while he changed the sheets..

you watched him do all this, feeling back for not helping, but also enjoying the domesticity of it all.

he finally picked your back up, laying you on the clean sheets and getting in beside you, you on the right side and him on the left.

your eyes were heavier now, and all you felt was him, his skin, and his heartbeat.

“y/n?” you heard his words in his chest.

you hummed in response.

he didn’t answer.

you lifted your head to look at him.

he simply smiled a bit, kissing your forehead.

“nothing. goodnight.” 

you would’ve questioned him, but you were too tired at that moment.

letting yourself curl further into him, and shutting your eyes, you were out like a light before you knew it.

mingi stayed up, a smile permanently staying on his lips.

he didn’t know what it was about you- he barely knew who you really were.

but he knew something was there.

this didn’t happen for no reason.

there was a reason you met.

there was a reason why the universe chose you for him.

and he was going to find out.

~~

[portsandstars]

I recently got an ask about how I made my Vere cosplay, so I thought I'd write an (overly descriptive) explanation about what I did! Note that I have very minimal sewing and cosplay experience, so it's quite possible that there are many better ways to achieve the same look.

If you're interested in recieving the pattern that I used, please DM me, and I'll send you the files. Note that the pattern is only made to my measurements(I am very tall and small chested) and I have also altered the pattern after working with it some, though not altered the PDF.

Some of my explanations won't be the most clear, I'm happy to explain more in the comments or dms- I'm just limited on the number of pictures:)

Below the readmore because u guys this is going to be a bit exhaustively long :>

The pattern pieces for the top

I got a pattern after commissioning someone on Fiverr for about $60 dollars (let me know if you want their contact info). They were not very interested in reference photos and instead wanted me to sketch the garment I needed. I made a mock-up in a day after receiving the pattern files (took me about 8-10 hours lol). I requested a few edits from the pattern maker and recieved a second pattern. From there, I made multiple mockups and edited the PDF pattern to:

- shorten the smallest sleeve

- increase the curve of the front shirt edge

- add an unofficial collar band to increase collar height

- change the angle of the piping seam to enter the armhole at much more of a slanted angle

- increase the height and shape of the side waist openings (they are still lower than is accurate).

- add a sleeve gusset bc I couldn't move my arms (the sleeves are still tough, I'd recommend altering the dark purple sleeves if you make this)

- making the floatly sleeves way more voluminous.

Here are some photos of the top. I bought a crotch snap bodysuit premade and cut it after someone helped me pin the top to it. This is to help keep the top "tucked in" to the belt without bunching, while still allowing you to go to the bathroom. There need to be snaps because I taped the top to my skin, so you don't want to pull the top off your shoulders as you would a romper.

Ok, now let's see where the pattern pieces go to the shirt:

Fabric

I used a satin fabric for this top. I chose this primarily because it looked the closest to the right color that I could find (rather than being interested in the sheen). I'd say that it kinda sucked to work with because it frays exceptionally easily, though it does look pretty. The lilac fabric is a cotton fabric that I used throughout this project to add weight and stability - the color doesn't matter. I also used a medium weight black fabric (?), Silver pleather, and lightweight interfacing.

- back of the garment was purple satin underlined with lilac cotton

- front (orange) piece was purple satin with lightweight iron on interfacing

- collar (blue) was purple satin with the lightweight interfacing not in the seam allowances.

- front (red) piece was purple satin, iron on interfacing, and underlined lilac cotton.

- black boarder on the front (green) was a thick black fabric that was in a discount bin. Highly recommend you use a thin black cotton because the thickness of this fabric gave me a lot of trouble. Interfaced the center of these pieces.

- facings for the side opening (front and back of garment) were made from the lilac fabric and interfaced with lightweight interfacing EXCEPT for the seam allowance.

- tiny sleeve (yellow) was interfaced to give it structure, but not in the seam allowances

- I really struggled with the tension on my machine so I never sewed the satin alone. On the long, dark purple sleeves I added iron on interfacing ONLY to the seam allowance to give the seam stability so I could sew it.

- the silver piping around the collar and glued onto the front is made from a silver pleather. On one hand, this sucked to work with because my strategy involves sewing through ~10 layers of it at least, which is very hard(thimble needed). BUT, If you don't use silver pleather, I'd say your silver fabric MUST NOT FRAY for you to use the techniques I used.

STEPS TO CONSTRUCT (~30-40 hours).

You definitely need to make a mock-up unless you are very experienced. I made about 4-6 (would alter one sleeve but not bother changing the other, etc).

1. Cut all pieces except for facings, black boarder, and floaty sleeves out of purple satin.

2. Cut cotton support fabric for the following pieces - back, red, gussets, side facings (4 total)

4. Cut black boarder/facing (4 total).

3. Cut and iron on interfacing - center of collar, red (not seam allowance), orange (not seam allowance), tiny sleeve (not seam alloance), black boarder/facing- only needed on the outside ones(not seam allowance). Interfacing for the side facings. If you have issues with sewing the satin, also iron on interfacing on the seam allowances, and add it to purple satin that is alone (the long sleeves).

4. Baste all underlining fabric to the purple satin by hand (back, sleeve gusset, red).

5. Stay stitch in the seam allowance all pieces

6. Zigzag stitch all pieces.

7. Lay the lilac side facing on top of the right side of front orange piece, interfacing of the facing touching the right side of the fabric. Sew together along the inner curve. Notch the seam allowance here so it can bend easier. Flip facing to the wrong side of the garment. Iron flat. Pull the notches to the facing side and understitch. Iron again. Sew the top and bottom of the facing edges into the seam allowance of the side seam of the garment and the hem of the garment so they don't flop as much. Do the same thing on the the second orange piece (mirrored). Then do this twice, once for each side curve on the back piece.

8. Yayyy now it's time to attach the black edge. Choose your prettiest of the two of each mirrored piece to be the outside ones. Hem the longer edge of all 4 black facing pieces. Lay the facing, right side facing up, on top of the right side of the orange piece along the front hem. Sew directly on top of your hemming stitches so it is attached about an inch in. Try to not go out of the hem stitches at all. Then, lay a second facing on TOP of the facing u just sewed, wrong side facing up. Sew along the edge through all three layers. Notch this seam. Flip the top facing to the inside of the garment and iron flat. Understitch the inside facing. Iron again. Sew along the black facings inside the seam allowance of the top edge of the orange piece. Below are my notes to myself about this if they would help you LMFAO.

9. U can hem the orange piece now if you want to, I chose to not bc there is sooo much more stuff to do!!

10. Hand baste the red piece to your completed/with facings orange piece along the bottom edge of the red piece/top of orange. You're gonna have to rip this out later but you need to add the collar and measure the length of the piping that will go here and it needs to be attached to do this.

11. attach the back of the top at the shoulder seam. you can also pin or baste the side seams now under the arm hole but note that the size will be really different here with the sleeve gores later added. this turns it into a vest yayy its taking shape

12. iron all the seams u got going on

13. Hem the interior edge of the red pieces so that the collar can attach over it. Use a basting stitch bc you're going to have to undo part of this later 🙃

13. make the collar. tbh I'd recommend watching a tutorial for this, it is pretty similar to any men's dress shirt, especially a mandarin collar. sew the collar along the neckline of the garment.

14. Measure from the side seam under the arm, along the hem of red all along the back collar, to the other side seam under the other arm to see how long your piping needs to be. You can make it a bit longer than it needs to be. i chose to use piping because I couldn't find a silver cord that resembled this detail going around the collar of his shirt, and this seemed like the best solution. It would be far easier to use a silver cord if you can find it tho :). If you found cord that you liked, you could simply sew red to orange directly.

15. make the piping! This whole part is the worst part of the whole garment. You should have a thimble and strong handsewing needles. And probably pliers to pull the needle through. I cut long strips 4 of the silver pleather and bought 2 mm wide nylon cord. I then folded the strip around the cord and handsewed really close to the cord with white thread. You could machiene sew this but personally I found that it wasn't "tight" enough to the cord for me. Two of the piping strips you should cut most of the seam allowance off, the other two should be a normal amount of seam allowance on the piping.

16. Line up your 4 piping strips into a stack and measure across them to determine their width. You next want to create the ILLUSION of more piping. The way I did this was I took a wider strip of silver, the width of the 4 piping strips + one hypothetical extra piping on the top and one on the bottom and cut a strip this wide + lots of extra seam allowance that was about the length of the shirt collar. Then, I hemmed it deeply, so my hem stitches would be close to the center of the strip. There's NO cord in this piece. Then, I hand sewed this flat piece to the collar of the shirt.

17. Next, I bent my piping strips in half and marked the center points on each with a pin. I took one with long seam allowance and laid it flat so the seam allowance lay facing right, and then laid the other piping with seam allowance overlapping the previous piping facing left. Then the piping with very small seam allowance goes on top of this. Diagram crossection below, with the circles representing the cord of the piping, and = representing the orientation of the seam allowance.

O O

O=====

======O

In this way, the piping can be sewn into a continuous strip that is sturdy, without the seam allowance showing. I handsewed the piping pieces together, working from the center, for about 5 inches of length, snaking sideways through the cording of the piping with white thread so it's joined into one continuous strip. Then, I began to handsew this piping to the collar on top of the silver flat fake piping that u already sewed there. Make sure the center of the piping goes to the center of the collar. From there, you alternate handsewing the piping to itself into one continuous strip, and then handsewing it to the collar.

18. As you work, you're going to have to sew it along the edge of the red piece once you're done with the collar. You can initially sew it to the hem that you established before on the red piece. However, when the red piece meets the orange piece (at the black fabric) you need to undo the hem of the red piece there and cut a slit in the fabric (visible below). This is because the hem of the red piece now needs to hang down and attach to the orange piece, so you need the material. Your piping here will go between the red and orange pieces. You also need to cut your basting stitches here so u can sew it for real. You should gradually and evenly spaced - end each line of piping along the top of the orange, so that by the time you're at the armhole, only one piping line is remaining. I chose the bottom silver line on the collar to be my longest piping strip, as this matches (more) of the reference photos). Rather than sew through all 12- 14 layers (...) I found it easier to do a stairstep method. I sewed my first piping strip to the red, then I sewed my second piping to the first piping(but NOT to the red), my third piping to the second, my fourth to the third, and my orange piece to the fourth. Throw in some stitches that bridge more layers as a failsafe and be diligent here bc the structure of the garment depends on it lol.

19. Fantastic ! U made it through the hardest part! Hem the long purple sleeves. Gather the top of the floaty sleeves. Sew the inner seams of the floaty sleeves. Sew the inner seams of the 2 long sleeves together. Leave the length of the V of the gusset unsewed at the top of the sleeve seam. Hem the edge of your tiny sleeves (yellow).

Now you need to attach the sleeves. I sewedthe gauze to half the gusset by hand first. Next I handsewed the gusset to both the long sleeve and the floaty sleeves, leaving the other V half of it unattached to later put into the side seam under the arm. Next I pinned all three sleeves into the armhole of the top. Tbh ... The size of the armhole seemed wrong so I needed to pleat the top of the of the long sleeve to make it fit (😐). Then I handsewed all three sleeves on each side into the arm hole, and then sewed the gusset into the side of the garment, and then finished the side of the top's seam (where the side facings meet) by hand too. I think it'd be possible to do this by machiene but with all the layers, gathering, and difficult corners from the gusset, it was way easier to handsew it imo. Now do the other sleeve wow so fun

20. Get a silver ribbon /string and handsew the sleeve decorations in place. I've found that piercing the silver cord tends to make it get ugly and split so instead I sewed the ends down and then went around the cord like belt with belt loops. Leave a tiny amount of give here so it doesn't strangle ur arm. Try and make the other sleeve the same lol.

21. Cut EVA foam (very thin mm foam) into LONG strip for the vertical silver detailing. Handsew the Eva foam to your top where the silver detailing is. Honestly I might wait to do this until your belt is done bc the position of the bottom half of these lines depends on where your belt sits. But, the purpose of the Eva foam is that it provides a solid base for your silver fabric to glue to that will bend with the garment well and the glue won't stiffen or distort your fabric. Afterwards you'll glue it to the foam with contact cement or fabric glue (needs to be able to flex).

22. Personally I sewed snaps that connect to the chest harness on the inner black boarder because 1) this allows a bit of the weight of the harness to be taken off of your neck/collar, and 2) allows your top to be held closer to your body (lower chance of flashing people). Make sure to only sew them to the interior black facing, not showing to the other side. I also sewed tacking stiches through the interior facing (hidden in the hem stitching) to hold the interior black facing down. My harness was waistband elastic, stabilized with cotton so it's not stretchy, with velcro attaching to itself through the ring. So each side of the harness at the ring is velcro folded back onto itself after being looked through the ring.

23. I also sewed the snap crotch thing to it. You need to wear the top and the body suit and have someone pin the top so that it's pulled somewhat taut by the bodysuit. The small section between the left and right side of the top (by the bellybutton) of the waistband of the bodysuit I stabilized with cotton again because you don't want that part getting stretched out and widening over time. If you're someone who maybe doesn't have boobs or doesn't care about flashing people, you could just sew it to some shorts. The idea here is to keep it held down AND be able to use the bathroom later WITHOUT pulling all ur fashion tape off in the stall and then reapplying it each time.

Look here for the part two (belt/skirt explanation).

[steadfvsthearts]

Cutting Legacy/New Xkit Posts with Beta/Xkit Rewritten

written 02.06.23.

you’re stuck in beta editor and receive a reply that’s been edited in legacy with new xkit like the one screenshotted below. what are you supposed to do now ?? how are you going to cut it ??

there is a way ---an annoying one, sure--- but it’s possible.

before moving on, i want to make it clear that i highly encourage switching to beta + xkit rewritten for replies --- especially if you are in a new group rp where inevitably some members will have brand new blogs and thus are stuck with only the beta editor. mixing legacy and beta just makes for a lot of headaches, most of which are very avoidable. this post here from rpschtuff describes the whole compatibility issue extremely well and i recommend reading it if you’re still resistant to the whole idea.

but in the case of some stubborn people, here’s a hack to still cut legacy/new xkit reformatted replies with only beta/xkit rewritten.

i hope this is useful in getting through this transitory phase!

Step 1, copy the previous person’s reply and save to your drafts. you can copy the gif/images by right click, copy image link, and pasting the image url --- for some reason, this workflow doesn’t make the ugly source links show beneath the image. i have no idea why and am not questioning it. you should now have something in your drafts that looks like this:

Step 2. Trim away the first combined legacy reply

If you get this note, just click continue.

Check the first box and then trim.

You will now be left with just the previous person’s reply you just copy and pasted.

Step 3. Now REFRESH the drafts page. And you will see the famous double glitch that happens when beta and legacy interact.

We want this and now we will exploit it.

Step 4. Click the edit option and you will see this:

There is a version of the reply that is uneditable and one that is editable. We will keep the uneditable one and delete the second one in editable space:

Step 5. Type your reply in the editable space.

When you post, you’ll see that the previous person’s reply (that you copied and pasted in) has been separated out into a similar format as beta naturally does!

The downside is the “account” that posted this reply shows up with a default icon (highlighted in yellow here).

However, this works in a pinch if you really really need it.

i just want to reiterate this is just a temporary work around --- and frankly, it’s far more annoying than just switching to the beta editor + xkit rewritten. if the original post were made in beta and cut with xkit rewritten, the tutorial on how to cut posts would consist of step 2 and step 5 (clearly much shorter).

this hack also relies heavily on an existing glitch, and if tumblr ever fixes said glitch, this method will not work.

switch to beta for replies ✌️😔, but hope this helps in this transitory period!

please like/reblog if you found this useful <3