#edit: i kinda wanna make this a real thing now. but i have no writing skills

[freshbaked-bread]

some fake screenshots from the deep space nine dating sim that lives in my brain

[pianostarinwonderland]

Hello hello guys!! I participated in the Octazinelle zine 😳👉👈 and this was the fic I wrote!

Link of the zine is found in the notes section. I really hope you enjoy!

graduation [octazinelle: high tide fic submission]

in the few months they have before getting ready to leave for internship, floyd and jade go through the turbulence that future uncertainties bring: where will they go, what will they do, but most importantly... what will happen to their relationship with azul?

ft. floyd leech, jade leech, and azul ashengrotto

╰┈➤ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hello hello!! i participated in a zine titled octazinelle: high tide! you can find the full zine through here~ this was a very fun project and i'm so excited to post the fic i wrote for you guys ^^ i really care about this fic so much, so there will be additional notes that i will leave somewhere :3c don't worry, they won't be hard to find fufufu

“Floyd Leech.”

Said student is just climbing down the steps of the lecture room when he hears his name being called in an austere manner. Any remaining students in the classroom cast Floyd that ‘oh boy’ look as they leave the room. Floyd looks to the teacher’s table where Professor Trein stares at him sternly. He returns the stare with a miffed look, but he approaches the professor nonetheless.

“This is the second time this week that I have caught you sleeping in my class,” Trein rebukes. “This may be your last semester in Night Raven College before you go on your internship, but that doesn’t mean that you can be negligent in my class.”

“Uh huh.”

“Don’t give me that attitude, Leech. I do not want to give any penalties so late into the semester, but if I catch you sleeping one more time, I will. Do I make myself clear, Leech?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“You may now go.” 

Floyd steps out of the classroom with the same expression as he wore when getting called out. Damn Professor Red Squid, if you don’t wanna give detention, then just don’t, he thinks to himself. Meh, oh well. I don’t feel hungry at all, should I even go to the canteen? But where do I even wanna go? Everywhere’s so noisy. 

He walks for a bit, hands in his pockets.

Ah wait. 

There’s the supplies arriving today for Mostro Lounge. 

Floyd barely notices his frown growing ever so slightly deeper, but students walking along the same path as him instinctively step aside. Nobody in their right mind would dare interrupt a disgruntled Leech twin. 

I’m not going to help out with those. Azul can suffer with those all he wants.

“Floyd! There you are!” 

Floyd stops in his tracks. He does not look at the classmate who briskly walks up to him, but he already feels the annoyance rushing to his head. 

“Floyd, we got a paper due in two days,” the classmate yells. “We just need your part, and we'll be done! When are you gonna send it in the gc?”

“Go away.”

“Hah? Don’t give me that!” The groupmate’s voice raises in anger. “We have a literal group paper to submit, and we just need your part so that we can submit it earlier!”

Floyd faces him finally, but this time, his eyes are dilated, teeth are displayed, and brows are furrowed. An all-too familiar menacing expression. “I said go away.”

“Eep!” The classmate takes a step back, expression immediately shifting to fear for his life. “O-ok ok! Just- just submit before the 11:59 deadline in two days! That’s all I needed to say, ok!”

And right after, the student runs away.

Floyd huffs. He has now made up his mind on where to go. 

Jade is wiping the sweat off of his face in the locker rooms when one of his Octavinelle classmates approaches him. “Hey, Azul’s calling for you,” he says. “He’s by the gates right now.”

“Oh?” Jade looks up in confusion. “I thought Floyd was supposed to be with him right now.”

“Well, he’s not there now,” the classmate replies while scratching his head. “They need more backup and Azul’s calling for you.” 

“Ah, I see.” He smiles. “I shall be there, then.”

The classmate leaves the locker rooms, leaving Jade all by himself. The rest of the class has already left, eager for lunch. 

Jade slows down in cleaning himself up.

Azul’s name brings back a rip that’s been tearing at his heart. It burns in the way that electricity probably burns, maybe to a lesser degree: his body stops working the way it usually does, and his chest still reels from a shock of pain. It’s not physical by any means, though by the Sea Witch, he wishes it was. It would have been so much easier to deal with. He’d be shipped to the best hospital, all bills easily paid for, and he’d be recovering well back in Octavinelle. Or if he dies, then that is that. No more pain to feel.

No, it’s a harder kind of pain. It’s the kind of pain that makes him want to tear flesh and bone with teeth and claws, the kind of hurt that urges him to destroy a ship, the kind of ache that makes him want to burn his already burning eyes. It’s the kind of pain that won’t go away even if he does all three.

Jade breathes in. Hold it. Breathe out. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Breathe in… breathe out…

He cannot afford to lose himself now, whether by wrath or by tears. 

He packs his bags, changes back to his uniform, and leaves the lockers. His light footsteps are overshadowed by the sounds of enthusiastic jogs to the cafeteria in the corridors. Jade takes a moment to breathe in the afternoon sunny air, letting out a bit more of his worries out of his lungs before he walks down the stairs and through Main Street. 

And soon, he finds himself nearing the tall gates of the school, where a group of students are gathered around large boxes. 

It annoys Jade that the gleam of silver hair stirs mixed emotions. On one hand, his troubles are dashed completely from seeing the very person he keeps close. On the other hand, it is the same person who’s making him go through hell.

He swiftly shifts his focus to the situation in front of him. Some of the other boxes should have been on the way to the Mostro Lounge by this time, yet there are still several of them that the other Octavinelle students have to carry. It isn’t surprising—after all, they decided to upgrade a few things, in preparation for the next dorm leader. Supplies that a simple run to Sam’s shop won’t cover, no matter how much he claims to have it all in stock. 

“Be extra careful with that. That tableware costs us quite a fortune.” Standing by the boxes with a clipboard resting on his arm, Azul watches his dorm mates as he writes notes on the clipboard. He has his dorm leader facade on, serious and stern, but even from a distance, Jade can see his slightly nervous gaze towards the supplies. 

As another pair leaves with a heavy box, Azul looks at them before his eyes fall on him. “Jade, good you made it on time.”

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets. “I thought that Floyd was supposed to help with the supplies.”

“Well, he’s not here now,” Azul answers, frowning from annoyance. “I was wondering if you had any idea as to where he is right now.”

“I don’t. His history class should have ended 10 minutes ago.” 

“Hmph, nevermind. We need to get all of this into the lounge.” He gestures to the boxes. “All the boxes are complete, and we’ll do a final count of all the supplies once everything has been moved there.”

“I see.” Jade nods. “Will you need me to assist you?”

“No, you may enjoy your lunch break after helping us move these boxes,” Azul answers. “I’ll be making my next successor do that. It’s a part of his learning, after all.” 

“Ah. I see.” 

It annoys him to feel that same shock of hurt returning to his chest. 

A bemused look crosses Azul’s face. “Does that offend you,” he teases. “I never took you for one to be tilted by that.”

Jade blinks. “Why Azul, whatever makes you think I’d be offended over that?” He smiles, with a bit more effort than he’s used to. “You must be imagining things from how little rest you have in passing on your position to the little siren.”

“You exaggerate.” He keeps his clipboard and pen into his bag. “We need to move. Jade, carry that box over there.” He points to one of the smaller boxes, marked with the word FRAGILE, and picks up another box. 

And wordlessly, Jade follows, carrying a box that must contain brand new tea sets. New tea sets that remind him that a new dorm leader and manager of the Mostro Lounge will take over. 

That his term and Azul’s will end because they’ll move up to 4th year and go their separate ways. 

Jade resists the urge to break them. He’ll carry these then find Floyd. 

Back at home, the schools of fish would band together, staying close until Floyd swam past them, splitting their perfect formation. Together, apart. Together, apart. 

Together. Apart.

Separation was not new to Floyd at all. In an “eat or be eaten” world, fish and merfolk alike live with the thought that the people closest to them may be gone the next day. Floyd has hunted before, has fought before. He’s even the one who said goodbye to his parents when leaving for Night Raven College.

But he said goodbye with the promise of seeing them again after school is done. 

He stares down at the river that runs below the bridge. This spot is rarely ever frequented by students at lunchtime, if only because everyone else is either eating in the canteen, having meetings, or just being with friends, and the bridge is on the other path away from the Hall of Mirrors. Besides Octavinelle, it feels the closest to home on this campus: here, he can watch the current flow, and the fish that live below its clean stream. 

Home, huh? Floyd wonders if home will still feel like home once he returns from Night Raven College. 

It will be the same dark passageways and bioluminescent lights, the same faces but all grown up. Except that he isn’t a child that can pick fights with anyone and nab their scales as a prize, he is to be stuck with running the family business of making deals, expanding connections, beating up people who betray their trust. Pretty much like what he already does with Azul now. 

Except that the boss that would stand with him and Jade is not Azul at all. 

The fish in the river swim with no obstacle in their path. They may split apart to avoid the occasional rock, but they would be together again. Together, apart. Together. In the small space that they share, there is no vast ocean that opens up new paths for them to split ways. Not until they swim down the cliff and into the open sea. 

Floyd has never envied river dwellers until now. 

Jade walks behind Azul going to Mostro Lounge. It’s something of a routine that started in Night Raven College. When Azul walks, he and Floyd follow him from behind. He doesn’t remember how or when it started. Probably started to make Azul’s image look powerful: he is in the front, wearing a coat that imposes authority, and Jade and Floyd standing at the back makes him look almost impossible to touch. 

Regardless of the hows or the whys, it’s a position that has always given him comfort. From behind, Jade can watch Azul. He can see if Azul is pleased with something by the bounce in his step, or if he’s pissed by the clack of his heels. And from the front, Azul can’t read Jade since he’s always looking forward, and that lets Jade startle him with a random brutal teasing remark. 

Right now, though, he wishes to not look at Azul. 

Azul appears to be beaming, and Jade knows exactly why. He’s found the perfect successor for not only leadership of Octavinelle but also manager for his prized restaurant. He’s gotten accepted in all the places he applied for his internship. 

He’s gotten accepted already into the university that he aims to go to.

Jade vividly remembers the way Azul grinned from ear to ear when he received the email. He remembers the audible, “Yes! Yes, I got in!” that almost sounded teary-eyed. He remembers Floyd saying that they should celebrate over some drinks. He remembers smiling to the best of his abilities while saying congratulations for being accepted. 

That was two weeks ago. He’s said many fake things in his life, and he would never say sorry for them. But until now, the heartless congratulations weighs heavily in his conscience. 

It’s simple, really: Azul has been working hard all his life to achieve his dreams. And Jade was there to witness the journey, from the ideas to the headaches to the defeats to the victories. It’s a huge milestone for Azul to get to stay on land and study in a place where he feels he will thrive. So it’s unfair really, to not be able to celebrate such an achievement happily. 

And yet, Jade can’t bring himself to. 

Their relationship started as something transactional. Tweels keep his secrets, Azul lets them in his plans. Tweels support him, Azul entertains them. And if Azul fails to entertain, then they will drop him like plastic to the chute. There and done. That’s supposed to be their relationship. 

So why then does it hurt to hear that Azul got accepted? Why does it hurt to think about how in a few months, he won’t see Azul as much as the present? Why does it hurt to think about the uncertainty of when they will see each other again? 

“Jade, you can put down the box over there.”

Jade blinks. He’s at Mostro Lounge. Has he been so deep in thought that he didn’t realize when he arrived?

Schooling his expression, he puts down the box on the counter that Azul gestures to, unaware of the concerned expression on Azul’s face. 

Floyd doesn’t know when he started staring into nothingness to gaze at memories, but he’s now seeing the stone stage from middle school, where his younger self is playing drums to his brother’s bass and someone’s piano. 

He remembers, he was getting irritated with the piano melody, and at the time he couldn’t pinpoint why, except that it lacked something. Now that he thinks about it, it’s because that pianist’s playing had no life. No vigor, no passion, just technique that wouldn’t get anyone dancing. “Next,” he had said and stopped playing. The pianist was protesting. Floyd forgot what he said, just that he protested that he wasn’t done playing, but he didn’t care enough to hear about it.

“Everyone sucks, Jade,” he threw his sticks to the ground. “No one’s good enough to be part of our band. Let’s just go.” And he and Jade—who was bigger than him at the time—left the small auditorium of their school. And it’s a blur, Floyd doesn’t remember why he and Jade didn’t go home right away, but he remembers very well the syncopated melodies coming from the piano they forgot to close. 

And he remembers the gasp he made, the way his heart was stirred from how alive the music sounded. 

And he remembers how quickly he swam back inside to see who’s playing, and his wide-eyed gaze when he spotted the familiar octopus.

“Hey hey, that was so cool,” he said to the flustered Azul. “Play some more, play some more!” 

“Huh? No way, I have to go soon!”

But he didn’t let him go. He insisted he play the piano as he picked up his sticks and played a beat. “Come on, just one song! Then you can go!”

And he started his beat. And when it was just him for a long moment, Floyd had wondered if Azul left. But the sound of an E minor reached his ears, and the next moment, Azul’s playing was matching to the beat of the drums. And his music had heart. It had spirit, it had technique, it had passion. 

And the best part? Azul matched his rhythm when nobody else did. 

“I knew I’d find you here, Floyd.”

Eyes turning away from his reflection in the water, Floyd looks up to the face that he’s known since birth. Jade, impeccably presentable despite having PE class earlier, walks towards Floyd, leaning on the railing of the bridge he stands on. But he does not go near him. 

“What do you want,” Floyd asks. 

“We had a new batch of supplies arrive at the Lounge today,” Jade answers. “You were supposed to help out with the unpacking.”

He only answers with a curt hum before turning back to the water below. 

He hears a sigh. And footsteps approaching.

“You’re thinking about last last week, aren’t you?”

Floyd turns again to Jade. He’s by the bridge railing now, same side as him, but he continues to keep a respectable distance. Jade doesn’t look at him directly either, his gaze directed at the horizon ahead of them. 

He’s thinking about it too.

“Yeah, you could say that,” he answers. “It’s just, really ass, y’know?”

Floyd believes that in spite of their identical genetics, they are two people with different identities, dreams, and beliefs. And don’t get him wrong, it is a lot better that way to have individuality. But deep down, there is a comfort knowing that Jade probably feels the same feeling that leaves Floyd dizzy with frustration, that binds his chest with a mix of anger and sadness. And Sea Witch knows, Floyd needs that comfort now. 

“‘Ass’, you say,” Jade repeats. “Tell me about it.” 

A beat of silence passes between them. 

“It’s just that. It takes half a fish brain to know that Azul’s got grand plans after graduation. Get into the best business school, build his own corporation, build another company, and a third company. And I’ve known this for Sea Witch knows how long, and it was all fine, I didn’t care that much, but then…”

“...But then the letter came in.” Jade fills in. 

“Yeah,” Floyd emphatically answers. “That damned acceptance letter from whosit business university came in. Like, I don’t know why, but it just made everything feel… real. That Azul’s really gonna go somewhere else. And I hate that it’s been hitting me like this for the last two weeks. I can’t focus well, I’m pissed off, Trein’s told me off about sleeping. It’s so ass.”

The silent air between the twins weighs heavier. Floyd’s eyes briefly look at the fish in the river again—the damned fish that he wants to throw a rock at so they separate too—before he turns to Jade. “How ‘bout you? Was it also the letter?”

Jade doesn’t answer right away. Floyd understands; in moments like these, Jade hesitates to speak his mind, even to him. It’s part of their nature to be cowardly, after all, just that Jade exhibits it more between the two of them. 

“... Somehow, yes, but if I were to think about it… it’s actually been a while now,” he finally answers.

“Eh? Really?”

“I knew down the line that there would be farewells to be made,” Jade says. “Like you said, Azul has already made plans for himself, and he invests in those plans, years in advance. But there’s always that part of me that wonders… if there’s space for us in those plans.” 

Floyd finds himself inhaling sharply at those words. 

“I see his goals coming to fruition, and it pains me to say that I can’t even properly support him. The letter, the new supplies, the little siren he’s going to appoint… they’re all reminders that it will all change.” Jade smiles, but in pain. “Azul won’t be the dorm leader, I won’t be the vice leader, and we won’t do the things we used to do. And we won’t see each other until perhaps the next VDC. And when we graduate… would he call an end to our agreements? Would we grow so busy that we become strangers again? We would always say that our relationship is merely transactional and that we would leave him if we get bored, but…”

Jade stops, and the air weighs even heavier. Floyd feels taken back to the first day on land, when breathing with lungs felt heavy and difficult. 

Suddenly, Jade laughs. “What clownfish have we become?”

Floyd too joins his twin in mirth. “Can’t help it, Azul makes me feel understood.”

He raises a brow. “Is it gonna be about the first time you played together with him?”

“I mean, it’s how it started,” he answers. He doesn’t realize the small smile that settles on his face as he remembers once more. “Like, back then, everyone just kinda avoided, y’know? And that’s fine, at least, I thought it was. ‘Twas fun and all to be intimidating. But no matter what I’d do, Azul always matches me. He knows exactly what to play to my rhythm. And even in how we work, he knows what’s the stuff I’d like to do or the stuff I’d do well in. It just feels nice.”

It feels too nice. 

Too nice that if it disappears, it will leave his heart bound tightly by melancholy. 

“…Hey, I can’t be the only sappy one here.” Floyd eyes Jade. “C’mon Jade, share too what’s made you appreciate Azul.”

“I already shared a lot earlier,” Jade says defensively.

“Heyyy, be fair at least. I know you have your own thing.”

“What else is there to say? You already said everything.”

“Liar. I know how you started reading your books more after meeting him.” 

“So? Those were lessons that we had to learn as well.”

“Uh huh sure. Then explain why you’ve only gotten better in everything you do after meeting Azul.”

Jade glares at him. 

Floyd grins in response. “Gotcha.”

A beat of silence, then Jade sighs. “If he makes you feel understood, then he makes me feel capable.”

“How so?”

“One reason.” He puts up one free hand, with one finger up. “He’s demanding.”

Floyd chuckles. “That’s an understatement.”

“You’re right.” Jade grins, teeth flashing. “He’s exigent. Making us run around the school to do 5 things at once, on top of schoolwork. Even before NRC, he was just like that. I assumed he was insane. Until now, I still think he’s insane.”

“You say that, but you don’t look like you’re complaining at all.”

“Because thanks to that, I wasn’t pretending to be good at something anymore.” His next smile is closed. Softer. “I went from barely comprehending a textbook and barely lifting a seashell with my magic to understanding contract language and unlocking my unique ability. He made me do things, and I planned to just make someone else do it and pretend it was me.” 

“Ohhh.” Floyd’s eyes widened with remembrance. “And then he caught you.”

“Yes.” Jade shakes his head at the thought. “And I was expecting him to laugh at me, but he didn’t. All he did was sigh and teach me. Magic, studies, law, something about the way he taught those things clicked something in me. And even the things that he didn’t teach but always talked about, like culinary and how people behave, I was able to absorb things and got better. Dare I say,” a smirk forms on his face, “I’m better than Azul in some things.”

“Like flight class.” Floyd grins.

“Like flight class,” Jade repeats smugly. 

And they stop talking. Jade turns his gaze to the distant horizon, looking at something farther than the blue of the sky. Meanwhile, Floyd glances back at the river. He understands that Jade is done talking personal. But it’s fine for him. He can almost hear the unspoken thoughts. Once Azul leaves, who’s going to be the pianist in their little band that makes their every day exciting? Once Azul leaves, who’s going to tell them that they can do it? 

Once Azul leaves, who’s going to understand them?

“So this is where you two are.”

Simultaneously, Floyd and Jade whip their heads around. Floyd swears his heart almost leapt to his chest when he saw those familiar blue eyes. 

One hand in his pocket, Azul stands on the threshold of the bridge. He and Jade fully turn around as he walks towards them until he’s directly in front of both of them. 

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets, like the conversation a while ago never happened. “How was teaching your next successor what he has to do?”

“Went well,” he answers. “His prior experiences already reassure me, but he’s also demonstrated that he knows what he’s doing. Currently, he and our other dorm mates are taking care of the supplies.”

“Weird that you’re not being so strict, considering how much you value your restaurant,” Floyd comments. “You’re not even gonna be there to make sure nothing’s going wrong?”

“I trust that things are going well with my new successor in charge. I’ve taught him very well enough,” Azul says. “But more importantly… I have matters to discuss with the both of you.”

He turns his head to look at Jade. “Jade, you’ve been out of focus lately. Just a while ago, when you were bringing the box of teacups to the lounge, you were so deep in thought, you didn’t look like you were aware of where you were going. And even during work hours, you haven’t been as sharp as you usually are. A few professors have commented on your slouched posture as well.”

Jade’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“And Floyd.” Azul turns to look at Floyd. “Professors have reported to me that you’ve either been asleep during lectures or interrupting class with an outburst. You’ve also been moodier than usual, and it shows in your cooking and your behavior. I’ve heard a few students rant about you in group projects.”

Floyd briefly remembers the group mate that approached him earlier. 

“So what are you getting at exactly, Azul,” Jade asks. “Even we have our off days as well.”

Azul casts him a pointed look. “Off days for two weeks straight.” 

He receives no quip in reply. 

He crosses his arms. “Jade, Floyd.” His neutral serious tone changes. It quivers slightly. He’s worried. “I know you two well enough that there’s something going on. Is there something that happened?”

Floyd looks away. Jade does as well.

Floyd hates the concern in his tone. It makes him want to break. It makes him want to be upfront about his feelings and how it’s been bothering him. 

But how can someone like him really tell someone like Azul that you’re afraid to lose him somehow? How can he retract all the times he said that their relationship is all transaction and no emotional connection? How do you even start bearing something so vulnerable? 

They must be the same questions that Jade is grappling with now. Jade, who’s usually good at worming his way out of any conversation, has nothing to say to leave this topic. 

Azul sighs, breaking the long silence. “Is this something that has to do with me?”

The twins stiffen. 

Floyd can feel Azul’s gaze towards him. 

A tense moment passes. 

“... I had a feeling.”

He finally looks at him but in confusion. Jade is also facing him with wide eyes. 

Azul exhales through his nose. “You don’t have to tell me anything about what you’re feeling right now. If at all.” He turns around, preparing to leave. His head is bowed down, not letting either twin see his expression. “But I just want to let you know, I’m always here if you need me. Not just for this, but for anything, even if in the future.”

Floyd’s breath hitches.

“Do you… really mean that?” Jade asks, almost meekly.

Azul looks at Jade in puzzlement. “Why wouldn’t I? You two have been with me for all these years, even in my weakest hours. It’s not like I’m going to leave you even after we graduate.”

“Really,” Floyd asks. “Even when you get really busy with university and we’re running our family business?”

“Well, I won’t deny that we will be busy,” he answers. “But I’m not letting go of you two just because of that. You know me too well, after all. And you’ve supported me all these years, it would be embarrassing to leave that unpaid.”

“You mean that?”

“Have I ever broken a promise? If you want, I can even put that on a contract and have you sign it.”

In one single breath, the binding sadness and worry that tightened Floyd’s chest leaves. 

Without thinking, he moves towards Azul and wraps his arms around his slim frame. He ignores the surprised gasp as he buries his face on his shoulder. His breathing feels lighter than it has ever been the past two weeks. 

He feels Jade joining in, hugging Azul from the other side and burying his face on the other shoulder. His breathing sounds even to any person, but to Floyd, he can hear a slight quiver, like Jade is trying to hold back tears. 

“Is… is this what it’s been all about, all this time,” Azul finally asks. His hands move to pat their heads, a motion that always comforted the twins. “You two are strange for worrying about this type of thing.” 

Despite his words, Floyd can hear the smile in Azul’s voice.

[diorgirl444]

moonlight serenade or the first time reader has sex with dallas winston...

okay first let’s get this out of the way, yes i’m a minor but everyone’s aged up in this fic so don’t come for me. please don’t comment trying to police what’s appropriate for me and what’s not i’m seventeen and where i live i can legally have sex so it’s really not that deep. i’m a young woman - i’m exploring my desires in a healthy safe way and if you cannot shake this livid rage coursing through you maybe try touching some grass. xxx

this fic absolutely could not have been written with out the help of @avroravia she not only proofread it but also edited it and just offered me constant encouragement and support. basically she is just an absolute angel and i implore you to go read her fics right after you finish this 😛 amar thank you and i luv u

warnings: bad writing? (baby’s first time writing smut), um smut obvs (you are responsible for your own media consumption), fem! reader, characters are aged up, reader is a virgin, kinda dom dallas ig tho this wasn’t planned it just happened that way, 2,690 words <3

there is something poetically erotic about dallas winston.

you have known this since the day first saw him: his eyes wild and dark, his grin crooked and breath smelling of whiskey. he is animalistic in his vigor, a power that simmers and hums through his body so that you might think he was the devil. it is beautiful in a twisted way and right now you are more aware of this than ever.

shadows are cast across his face, and he leans over you in nothing but his oil stained wifebeater and jeans. he's smiling down at you, tickling you with kisses along your neck. this is as far as you've gone and because of your lack of experience as far as you've wanted to go for a long time. but right now with his st christopher glinting and dangling down in front of your gaze all you can think about how much you want him. how much you want all of him from his calloused palms to his voice made raspy with cigarettes.

“i want you to fuck me”

it comes out before you can you can think it through, words unbidden and unwanted choking your throat up. your face flushes hot and you press your hand to your mouth as if you can put them back where they came from but it’s too much too late.

he laughs lowly, voice making your skin break out into goosebumps and his hand toys with the edge of your nightdress.

“you mean that angel? you want me to be your first doll?” he grins, teeth glinting vampire like in the low light.

if you weren’t flustered before you are now from his teasing tone and you hide your face in your hands which only makes him laugh more.

“oh baby don’t hide your pretty face from me” he says before gently pulling you hands away. you’re greeted with a more genuine smile then before and he fondly tucks a stand of hair behind you ear.

“if you really mean that - i’d be real lucky to be your first, seriously i know i talk a lot of shit but if you really are sure then i’m gonna make you feel so nice” as he speaks the rough pads of his fingers draw circles along your thighs in what you’re sure is supposed to be a soothing gesture but is actually incredibly distracting. to be fair though you find everything he does distracting.

he looks at you like he’s waiting for an answer so you nod and he shakes her head.

“nah, i wanna hear you say it,” he murmurs, “say it f’me”

“please dal...” you say, shocked by how breathy your voice has become but he groans softly and it makes something pleasant creep up your gut.

“please - christ - sweetest thing i’ve ever known ain’t you?” he says hands slowly making their ascent but to your disappointment they go right up to resting on your waist. seeing your pout he smirks.

“impatient thing too, i bet. you want me to take it off?” dallas whispered, fingers lightly tugging on the soft silk straps of your nightdress.

slowly he pulls it up off you and though you’re terribly shy laying there in nothing but your now wet cotton panties, his face makes up for it.

“christ you look so fuckin’ good” he rasps lowly, tongue darting out to hungrily trace his lip.

despite your nerves you lean forward slightly and lift his vest over his head. you’ve seen dallas shirtless before and so feel confident navigating it as you press a soft kiss to his jaw. a small offering of affection where words are difficult.

and he seems to understand as he guides your hands to the cool metal of his belt buckle, your trembling fingers unclasping it and brushing over him. he groans softly and so with confidence from who knows where you press more intentionally, gasping slightly at the way he bucks into you.

“tease” he grunts out, pupils dark with something you’ve only seen a couple times before and something that makes you press your legs together absentmindedly. pushing you hand away he finally pulls his jeans fully off and you stare desperately at your boyfriend in nothing but his boxers. beautiful feels an understatement, a word that is much too fragile to describe how he looks. in fact it feels like your whole brain is simply humming with him, anything else feels deeply unimportant.

you watch as his big hands, all of him is big really, settle on the inside of your thighs. making purchase on the skin there in such a way that you wonder if there will be marks, you hope there is. that you can take a part of him with you everywhere, a marker of what it is to be touched by such a man as dallas winston.

he idly thumbs at the small bow of your panties before slipping his hand beneath the soft fabric, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth teasingly. the soft mewl you let out at his touch would be humiliating were it not for the way pleasure sparks through you as his fingers part your folds. you’ve touched yourself before sure but it has never felt like this, dallas’s fingers just so much bigger and experienced then yours. as if he knows what you need before you do.

“god you’re already so fuckin’ needy... soakin’ wet” his teasing voice drawls out but formulating a response is much too hard now his finger has found your clit and is drawing soft little teasing circles over it - both not enough and too much at once. he speeds up ever so slightly, smirking cockily at the soft gasp he draws from you. he’s lazy as he strokes you - as if he has all the time in the world and all he wants to do is watch your lashes flutter and feel the way you absentmindedly buck against hand.

the thing is though it’s not just the way his fingers know just what you do to make you feel good, though of course that is part of it but it’s just him as a whole. the way you’re completely sarrounded by him, his large frame dwarfing your smaller one, the smell of cigarettes and his shaving cream that seems to permeate the air, the praises that he almost reverently mumbles but mainly it’s the fact that it’s him. your dal - your first kiss, your first boyfriend, your first love and now your first..

you whine softly when he suddenly pulls his hand away, brows scrunched up but he simply shakes his head and licks his fingers clean before fully hiking your panties down your legs.

“taste like honey” he tells you, his warm brown eyes fluttering shut at the taste.

grinning all teeth, he thumbs at it watching the way your hole flutters and clenches around nothing, dribbling down onto your floral bedsheets below.

you blink up at him through hooded lashes, the way girls do in movies and hope it is enough to seduce him into touching you again. once again though he seems to understand what you need without you even speaking as he tentatively pushes the pad of his finger into you. the gasp you let out is sinful, even just the tiniest part of him making you feel more full than ever before. gently he nudges the finger further in, eyes zeroed on the way the tight hole sucks it in like a vice. once it’s fully in he begins, slowly at first - easing you through the rhythms as he fucks you. grunting lowly as if he’s getting pleasure just from the way your face scrunches up and body trembles.

“shit - think - think you can take another one baby” he asks is as if he’s not already pushing it in, making you feel impossibly full.

he’s faster now, clear goal in mind as he stretches and curls his fingers till he finds what he’s staring for. when he feels the way you clench around him and offer him a delicious moan he knows he has. with renewed vigour he rubs that spot inside you till it’s almost too much, your legs kicking out, hands almost trying to push him away.

“dal - oh - i” you’re babbling out softly as the sensations course through you, but he just hums encouragingly.

with his free hand that had been resting on your thigh he trails it down to you clit - rubbing it in quick, tight figure-8s whilst curling the ones inside of you against that spongey spot. without warning it suddenly happens, like a pot bubbling over as you tighten around his two fingers and spill out. lips keening out a high-pitched sound somewhere between a moan and a sob as your lashes shutter quickly. that earlier tension softening to the most wonderful feeling that has your body trembling and arching.

when you come to, eyes opening you’re greeted with brown eyes glancing over you. his gaze softer then you’ve ever seen it as he messily kisses you and mumbles against your mouth “did so good for me doll - can’t wait to feel you cum like that on my cock”

“need you now dal” you whisper back using your legs to pull him in closer - it’s not enough you want to be as close to him as possible.

following your encouragement he quickly rids himself of his boxers and finally he is fully bare before you. what strikes you about dallas is the lack of shyness, as if he knows that every part of him is harshly beautiful. grecian statue with his broad nose, lightly muscular chest and his now hardened cock. he holds out a condom and with his hands leading yours, you roll it onto his dick. tentatively wrapping your small hands around it and being rewarded with a gravelly moan. “next time baby” he says and you watch, entranced as he angles himself perfectly with his palms tightly gripping your hips.

“might hurt at first babydoll but it’s gonna feel real good pretty soon okay?” he warns, brows furrowed with the tension of waiting. you nod impatiently, grabbing onto shoulders as if you can push him in by them alone.

he laughs, classic crooked grin on his face. “god real greedy aren’t you?”

his smirk is knocked off his face when he slowly pushes in, groaning lowly at how tight you are still. he’s right, there’s a slight sting between your legs but you trust him that it will get nicer. his fingers seemed big earlier but now you know they were nothing compared to the way just the head of his makes you. ever so slowly he bullies his way into you, a bead of sweat clinging to his brow as he pushes all the way. when he’s finally full sheaved, you whimper - the feeling indescribable and like nothing you’ve ever known.

“gonna... gonna... fuck... move now okay pretty girl?” he rasps out, pressing his forehead to yours. you can do nothing but nod, as your breath is stolen from you.

purposefully he begins to move, rocking in and out of you and the sting has faded now, replaced by white hot beams of pleasure that course through you with each of his movements. his mouth finds your neck and your collarbone and your breasts - basically any part of you within reach and you are almost certain there will be marks tomorrow. the steady pace is torturous now though and almost tearfully you beg him, pouting “dallas - need more!”

“spoilt little thing needs more hm?” he says and if your eyes weren’t closed you would of seen the devilish grin on his face.

and the thing is with dallas he truly can never backdown from a challenge. without warning he speeds up, a truly punishing pace that leaves you feeling such intense pleasure that all you can do is lie there and take it, your body boneless as you moan and babble.

“too much? just gonna have to fuckin’ take it…” his teasing words only serve to make you even more humiliating wet - your body having an almost pavlovian response when he mocks you.

he laughs cruelly, the pad of his thumb finding your bud and rubbing tight little circles as he jackhammers into you.

“christ- you’re so fuckin’ tight”

you can feel that familiar pleasure coming over you - your body tightening up as he continues his frantic movements. you think he’s getting close to from the way his words have faded into animalistic grunts, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and the st christopher bouncing against his bare chest. he suddenly pinches your clit and that’s all it takes. your body seizes up, eyes rolling back as you cum all over his cock. the pleasure comes in waves, rolling over you as you dig your nails into his back to ground yourself.

you tightening around him is the last push he need and with a loud moan of your name he comes into the condom, head tiredly falling against your shoulder as the high fades.

“shit wasn’t too rough was i? was tryna be gentle but then you had to give me those damn fuck-me eyes and i lost it” he says and if you didn’t know any better you might think he was feeling a bit insecure.

you smile softly though and shake your head “dal i’m so glad it was you” his ego restored he shrugs, smirking as he pulls out of you. he rises and you feel a stab in your gut - is he leaving? catching your gaze he rolls his eyes.

“cool yourself duchess, i’m just getting you something to clean you up okay?” you flush, pleased and embarrassed all at once but true to his word he reappears with a flannel wet with warm water which he uses to gently wipe you clean. once that’s done he curls up beside you, loosely wrapping his arm around your middle.

“sleep now - delicate things like you need their rest after their hot greaser boyfriends rail them within an inch of their life” he grins against your shoulder and you scoff softly, too tired to bicker. still with his arm slung around you and the warmth of his breath on your neck you’ve never felt more loved. you really are lucky to have dallas winston as your first.

bonus the next morning:

“what’s that on your necklace dal - next to the st christopher?”

“oh that it’s just your purity ring?”

“why on god’s name do you have that!” what if my parents see! they’ll kill you!”

“well shit angel it’s not like you need it anymore - not after the way i fucked you stupid last night ”

“i hate you...”

hope you like it! xoxo, flo <3

[dimonds456]

"Perhaps he may yet prove his worth to me" headcanon

I have So many Ford thoughts about this era of his life, here is only a sliver of my insanity FGHJSD

Alt text below cut ^^

ID: a bunch of Discord screenshots showing a single user rambling about Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls. User Dimonds456 has their profile set to the autism eyes Stanley image from Lost Legends. Here is the full transcript of everything they said:

Listening to Hana's Ford video at work again today (the 5 hour one) and something they were talking about in it I kinda wanna elaborate on. The line "perhaps he can still prove his worth to me," to me, is a line that I think Ford both does mean and doesn't mean at the same time, and the reason why is. sad.

To me, this is Ford realizing he's got no way out, right? Like, contacting Stan is part of his last resort plan, the one he had to switch to once he was given the 72 hours before his life- and the world's- came to an end

Like, let's be real: the plan "I'm gonna go back up to the caves to where I first discovered Bill and hope and pray there's an answer there" REALLY ISNT a plan

Hope and pray isn't a survival strategy, but that's where Ford is at rn

Every other plan failed.

Project Mentem takes too long to encrypt, and more than likely wouldn't stop possession anyway. It would just prevent Bill from seeing Ford's thoughts and memories. Might provide some protection, but not enough.

The Bill Proof suit he isn't mechanically knowledgable enough to actually make effectively, and he doesn't know McGucket is still in town

He can't go down to the basement else risk the possibility of Bill possessing him, and if he tries to dismantle the portal, as we see in TBOB, there's a good chance Bill will just fucking torture him over it

He doesn't know about the Cipher Wheel at this point, or if he does, doesn't believe it'll help. And even if he did, he doesn't know enough people or enough about people to know who he needs

He doesn't know about using a metal plate/tinfoil hat

He couldn't get access to unicorn hair, so the barrier is out(edited)

The caves were his last resort

At this point, he knows there's a good chance he's going to die. All he can do is make sure the world stays alive after the fact. But that doesn't mean he wants to. He is fighting Bill tooth and nail, holding out for as long as he can, despite the knowledge that in 72 hours, he is going to die.

Or, if not die, he's going to be blind and subjected to Bill's every whim

To me, the "perhaps he can still prove his worth to me" line is him clinging to the one last thing he DOES have control over: his emotions. And he's choosing to be angry because anger is a better emotion to feel than fear or anxiety

Cuz at this point, his entire world has been flipped upside-down, right

Bill was evil

Fidds was right

He's second-guessing his decisions about Stanley

He writes, in code, "have I been too harsh [to Stan] all along?"

Like, over the course of a couple days/a month, his entire view of the world and how it works has spun WILDLY out of control

He can't change the fact that Bill is evil, he can't change the fact that Fidds was right, so in a desperate act to cling to the one thing he has control over, he continues to take it out on Stan, cuz that's all he has

It's PEAK learned helpllessness

He has to have been right about something.

Cuz otherwise, he's the worst. And no one wants to feel like that, especially while being tortured at the hands of a demon and trying to protect the goddamn world

So he both means it, since I do think that came from a genuine place (his anger at Stan over the project), but also doesn't mean it at all (he knows Stan has worth but is too Regina George to admit that right now)

It's also why he was SO QUICK to bring that up during his and Stanley's fight

Again, he's clinging onto that anger as hard as he can

He had to cooporate with Stan to try and get him to take the Journal, but as soon as it looked like that plan was gonna fail, he started flipping out, both from stress, fear, anxiety, and from his anger he is refusing to let go

Again, Ford isn't dumb. He knows he's running on borrowed time at this point.

And something about knowing your life is either gonna end soon, or you're gonna become disabled and toyed with for the rest of your life, would mean he's not thinking rationally

ON TOP OF the lack of sleep and clarity

Does this make sense FGHJSKD

I'm pushing my learned helplessness headcanon on y'all SO HARD I'm not even gonna lie GFDHSJK

End transcript, end ID.

[byecrow]

𝚜𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 : Jake is in a different league than M/n, at least that's what everyone says. But to Jake, M/n is everything he's ever wanted, everything he's ever needed. And Jake wants to share a piece of himself with the one person who truly sees him.

𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 : jake x m!reader

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 : 907

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 : slight making out, they're shirtless at one point, nothing explicit, inspired by a tiktok edit I saw, kinda inspired by mistakes like this by prelow, mostly just vibes, no real plot

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 : hey... I know I disappeared for like half a year but I really wanted to write this idea so uh... here you go! I wanna write more but I've had the worst writer's block :(( hope you like!! Comments and reblogs appreciated!

There is a myriad of other things Jake could be doing right now. He could be out partying with his fair weather friends. He could be studying so his next test score is a 100 and not a 95. He could be at soccer practice that he's been skipping for weeks.

But he's not. Instead he's here, in M/n's lap, the lap of the guy he can't get out of his mind. The guy whose lips feel so good against his own, in M/n's dorm, in his bed, as the small speakers project their shared playlist to fill the silence of the room. They tentatively make out, still nervous about taking the next step.

Everyone has been telling Jake to stay away. “You’re too different.” “He's way below you.” “Why would you want to be seen with him?” Jake can hear their nagging ringing in his head as his lips move against M/n's.

Jake was the top student of a private school and his parents are paying his tuition. M/n was a top student of a school no one's ever heard of and he's only at this college because of scholarships and loans.

But they don't really see M/n, they don't see how M/n can truly see Jake.

M/n's admiration of Jake's intelligence didn't just stop at grades and copying homework, no, M/n admired all of it. All the nerdy topics, all the jargon that was too complicated for most people to care about. M/n cared about it. Multiple times have their make out sessions turned into Jake rambling about quantum physics while M/n just holds him, hearts in his eyes as he listens to the man in his arms ramble.

M/n exists outside of the world's judgment. Outside of the elitism, the reputations, he's outside the world Jake was born into. And Jake wants more of it. More of this feeling that's so foreign to his heart.

Jake is sober with M/n. Well, not always, he is at college, but that's beside the point. The point is Jake isn't influenced when he's with M/n. M/n doesn't make him act a certain way or keep his emotions buried for the sake of keeping the peace. Jake is just… Jake, with him.

Even if that Jake is a sobbing mess in M/n's arms, M/n still chooses him. And Jake wants to choose M/n, too. He wants to choose him. Every time.

“Are you okay? You seem… distant,” M/n's voice softly cuts through the silence as he pulls away from Jake's lips. His arms gently encircling Jake's waist.

Jake smiles softly and nods his head, gently caressing M/n's cheek with his thumb, “Yeah, just… thinking.”

“About?”

“You,” Jake admits with a bashful grin, eliciting a matching one on M/n's face.

“What about me?” M/n looks up at Jake with an intrigued smirk. Jake's hands find purchase on M/n's shoulders and M/n shifts Jake in his lap, bringing him closer.

“Just… you. All of you,” Jake's fingers play with the hair at the nape of M/n's neck.

“Ah really? That's it?” M/n mischievously grins and leans in to steal a kiss. Jake's lips form into a smile as he melts into it.

Jake nods as he pulls away, “Yeah just… you. And how I… love you…” the words are almost inaudible as they fall from Jake's shy lips.

M/n's eyes widen slightly and his expression turns serious, “You what? What was that?” Jake attempts to look away but M/n just shifts him in his lap to look into his eyes.

“I love you… Is that… is that okay?” his cheeks burn, his face rosy as he lays his heart out for M/n to see.

M/n just smiles brightly in return, his expression that of a man drunk on love, “Of course it's okay. I love you, too.”

M/n brings Jake in for another kiss. This time deeper, almost bruising. Jake cradles his face as M/n moves fiercely against his lips. M/n's arms anchor Jake to the moment. He can feel himself slipping into their familiar rhythm, but Jake wants more, he's ready for more.

Jake pulls away from M/n's but the other man chases his lips. Jake places a hand on his chest and gently pushes him to lean against the pillows. With a deep breath Jake's hands go to the hem of his shirt. He hesitates before pulling it off and throwing it somewhere next to them.

“Is this okay?” Jake asks cautiously. M/n can only nod, his eyes raking over his now exposed skin. Jake feels a bit self conscious as M/n looks at him like he's the most beautiful sculpture he’s ever seen.

M/n leans in to pepper kisses down Jake's throat and across his bare chest. Jake's breath hitches as M/n's lips gently caress his skin. M/n pulls Jake in, arching Jake's back to bring him closer to his lips.

Jake's fingers tentatively find the hem of M/n's shirt and loosely grab on, “Can I…?”

M/n smiles softly and nods, quickly leaning up to leave a chaste kiss on Jake's lip. He raises his arms as Jake pulls his shirt off. Both men now shirtless, skin and hearts bare, trusting the other to not break it.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  @cuips-not-cute! cuips_not_cute has six fics in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and all of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @cuips-not-cute:

he could be brave

blood is an aphrodisiac

honeyed affection

blinking red light

cyclical

"cuips is a master of taking the reader on an emotional roller coaster ride. The amount of times I've laughed and cried at the same time reading his fics have been too numerous to count. Especially the depth of the sex scenes and the character beats and growth they portray are gorgeous to read - and also very titillating. I love Steve and Eddie in every one of cuips stories, adore the little mannerisms they are given and the way they interact with each other and other characters. Besides the inspiring prose cuips can pull off a plot like few other people I've found so far - since blinking red light is still ongoing, I'll just point to cyclical for that. I'm very thankful to cuips for writing and posting these stories and for being a very active part of this lovely fandom." -- anonymous

Below the cut, @cuips-not-cute answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

i don’t even know. i was happily in the ofmd fandom when i watched season 4 almost three years ago now (oh god) and then the characters… they got me. i fear they’ll never leave.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

god, so many. they’re all kinda the same flavor though so i’ll list out what i’m always filtering for to find a new fic: bottom/sub eddie, creature/monster eddie, post s4, canon compliant, soft dom steve, sex pollen, spit kink, rimming (perhaps my FAVORITE ever thing to read), switch eddie/switch steve… the list goes on.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

probably also rimming. there’s just something so romantic about eating ass. and i really love to stick with post s4 canon compliant aus, too, i don’t think i’ve written an actual for real au yet, though i do have an idea for one after brl.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

i don’t know if i can pick!! my ao3 bookmarks host my many all-time faves, but if you wanna go by the fic i’ve reread the most it’s probably the affliction of the feeling. it’s so fucking good.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

YES!!! i have never written omegaverse!!! which is crazy, ‘cause i like it a LOT. i have a post-s4 omegaverse au kicking around in my head currently, and i cannot wait to sink my teeth into all the messy biology and politics that come with the omegaverse.

What is your writing process like?

chaotic, in a word. usually, i’ll get a fic idea while i’m balls-deep in writing another fic so i’ll shove it to the side and let it simmer while i finish that first one, then i’ll spend a good long while planning it out in ridiculous detail, and THEN i’ll start actually drafting. i like to have a fully fleshed out outline and a couple chapters written and edited before i start posting, and once posting begins i tend to deviate quite a bit from my outline but it’s all good fun.

Do you have any writing quirks?

definitely. i don’t like pointing them out for fear of other folks seeing them in everything i do, but they’re there. one that i don’t mind so much is my absolute abuse of the word “little.” everything is “a little” of this, “a little” of that, but i try to cut my usage down significantly while i’m editing.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

i always TRY to keep a schedule but… yeah. it never works. i’m far too busy for one, but attempts are made. i’d like to one day write a fic in full before posting it, because i think it’d be a whole lot better if i let it sit for that long but lord, i sure do like getting ao3 comments on every chapter. they make the writing motivation go WAY up.

Which fic are you most proud of?

brl, definitely. that fucker is LONG and i’m barely halfway through it. i think i’ve done a lot of cool things with it and i’m going to do some more cool things and i’ve made a lot of really awesome friends in the process of writing it so it’s got some pretty insane sentimental value to me. it’s definitely going to be a fic i’ll miss writing once i finish it, but that’s what the epilogue series is for!!!

How did you get the idea for blinking red light?

from another fic!!! @racketghost is the author of one of my favorite things i’ve ever read, which is the good omens zach and miri au, closed set (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320960/chapters/55862155 <- hyperlinked), wherein crowley has been lying about the existence of some angelic sex tapes to all of hell, and then he and aziraphale have to actually make the tapes. it’s awesome. it’s gorgeous. brl is one big giant love letter to this fic, because it means so fucking much to me and i think about it ALL the time. 

When writing honeyed affection, what was something you didn’t expect?

hmm, i don’t know? ha is, i think, a pretty easygoing fic with lots and lots of porn stuffed inside it, and that was all i intended it to be so i cannot think of anything i was surprised by!!

What inspired blood is an aphrodisiac?

i just wanted to write vampire eddie. it was july ‘22, kas theories were everywhere, i had to try it. these days i think i would change a LOT about it because my ideas and hcs surrounding the characters have evolved significantly, but i’ll write vampire eddie again and “fix” everything i no longer like about biaa.

What was your favorite part to write from he could be brave?

…the fisting. i genuinely think some of my best writing is in that scene, and while i feel the same way about this fic as i do biaa, the fisting scene will always hold a special place in my heart. i’m very, very excited to write the fisting chapter in brl because of this scene. fisting rules.

How do/did you feel writing cyclical?

i wrote cyclical during a very weird few months of my life, so writing it was sort of my way of dealing with all the insane shit going on around me, and i think it shows. in a good way, though, because cyclical is a timeloop fic so it needed to be a little angsty and insane. i’m stupidly proud of that fic. @ryeallytired actually BOUND it into a PHYSICAL BOOK and SENT IT TO ME and when i tell you that is the singular most precious object i own, i mean it.

What was the most difficult part of writing blinking red light?

PLOTTING THAT BITCH. GOD. i’m so happy to be actually WRITING it now, the planning was genuinely so brutal. my issue was that i was sticking too close to the plot of closed set (<3) which just… did not work for steddie. closed set’s premise centers around crowley lying about making sex tapes, yes, but he lied about them to PROTECT aziraphale, which is the messiest, kindest, riskiest fucking thing ever. and it’s awesome. in the early planning stages of brl, i was trying to put eddie in the crowley role of lying about having made sex tapes with steve, but it reallyyy didn’t work. there was an oc and i absolutely hated him, plus i didn’t like what that premise was doing to eddie’s character… ugh. it was a MESS. it took several rubber duck-ing conversations with my brilliant friend @lollaika and a rewatch of zach and miri to finally realize that it had to be STEVE who brings up the idea of sex tapes so that he could protect eddie, rather than eddie bringing it up to save his own hide (yikes).

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

oooh, lots. reallyyyy loved chapter 8 of cyclical with all of the pov shifts, that was super fun to write. i also really enjoyed writing the dry humping/sex tape convo in the first chapter of brl, and i’m stupidly excited to write chapters 12, 13, 15, and 17, because of specific scenes that will happen in each.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

i do!! after brl is completed i’ll have to choose from two story ideas (because i cannot have two wips at once or i’ll get SO stressed), one being a semi-realistic steddie cowboy au based off my own experiences with growing up on a farm and featuring messy, earnest cowboys and not-fully-human eddie, and the other being the omegaverse au i want to write, which will have a very fun mix of vampire eddie, dubcon bitching, and accidental mating bites!!!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

i cannot think of anything!! this was super fun :D

Thank you to our author, @cuips-not-cute, and our anonymous nominator! See more of cuips_not_cute's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[dear-ao3]

Question for the mods....

HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MEET???

Like what???

How??

I am so god damn curious about you two. I wanna study yall under a microscope lol

Also ngl kinda envious of how close of friends you two seem to be. (Being an introverted shy af mofo sucks lmao)

I would actually probably read a whole ass book or watch a sitcom or something of the seemingly ever present weird-ass shit that seems to happen on a day-by-day basis.

/gen /lh /nf /pos

2018 newsies fandom. we weren't overly close but we bonded over race and albert a little and then katya dropped off the face of the earth for about a year.

during 2020 lockdown we both independently got into the witcher fandom and somehow ran into eachother again and had the fingers pointing OH MY GOD Y O U !!! moment in our dms. we bonded over hating jaskier. during this time we realized we were both dancers and katya was looking at dance colleges, i was already in college for dance and since it was lockdown and we couldn't go anywhere i told katya my experience auditioning at places to give him a good idea of places. and then i broke every internet safety rule known to man and said hey what if you had applied to my college but didnt know it?? and then one thing led to another and i dished out all the tea on my school. (only After that did we face reveal and give eachother our names lol) and then katya applied. mostly as a joke. until it wasnt a joke because that school gave katya a shit load of money and actually had stuff katya wanted to do. katya ended up coming to one of my zoom ballet classes and it took everything we had to not loose our shit on camera.

during this time we mostly kept eachother sane in lockdown writing witcher fanfic, and sending eachother awful thirst traps on instagram to pitbull music. one of our awful bits was using the dilf filter to make bad frat boy edits.

come august of 2021 we both moved into college. the same college. in the same building. it was wild. i pinched myself several times in shock. we went on a walk around campus with some worms on strings and were like what the hell how did we get here.

we continued to hang out and did weird insane things together. we took a class on the french revolution together where i had to put up with katya and fennec awkwardly flirting (read: making finger guns at eachother).

and then, since i was 2 years older, i was graduating and was going to stay in the area for a job and was like hey. what if we got an apartment together? and then we did. several adults agreed to this. idk why they let us. but now we live together in a real life apartment and we haven't even killed eachother yet. neither of our parents know that we met online. each of them have a different fake story as to how we know eachother and we really just hope they are never in the same room long enough to ask eachother about it. but its insane. 12/10 would recommend.

katya wanted me to include old tumblr screenshots of us talking, heres what i found from circa 2020:

we've always been like this lol

and heres some ancient greatest hits from instagram, i dont have context and trust me you dont want it:

every now and then the two of us look at eachother and go. how the fuck did we end up here??? (we have no idea)

[small-but-oho]

EDIT: Since this kinda broke containment: THESE ARE MY PERSONAL FEELINGS. If you agree, let me know and we can connect! :D If you disagree, that's awesome. Keep doing your thing. I do not want to tell anybody that the way they enjoy g/t is wrong.

I think I've cracked the code of why the overwhelming amount of g/t fl/uff (censored so it doesn't show up in its tag) makes me uncomfortable: there just are no stakes.

Like, to me, g/t stories need to have a power imbalance. That's the whole readon for the trope to exist. Just like bd$m or v0re or, fuck, even just boss/employee stories, the inheirent difference in power - literal or social - is the whole point of it.

And, no offense, but all the posts about friendship and r0mance between tiny and giant just... play that down? Maybe it's because the trope has been done to death and back (we're all in its fandom after all), and people just wanna skip to the part that is new in their story. Nothing wrong with that, I'm not trying to police what people are writing. I'm mostry just airing out my own thoughts here.

But that also kinda takes out the tension? I've once read a comparison online, that in real life, two people clearly communicating their problems is good and healthy, but in a story, it takes out the stakes. Stories usually need points of tension building up the closer we get to the climax, with a big finish, and a drop in tension towards the end.

And this may just be me bitching, but I remember a time when the g/t tag was full of fearplay and looming and angst, where evil giants were as plentiful as sand in the desert. And now that's almost a rare trope. A lot of people I follow who used to post lots of angst, now primarily only post fl♡ff, which, again, do as you want. I'm just wondering why this shift occurred.

To me personally, g/t is a good way to explore these feelings, of feeling small, weak, at the mercy of a being so much bigger than me. Bad things need to happen to the tiny, because it's somewhat of a stress release. And if you've read this far, thanks and please don't block me.

[mentallyillstinker]

WHOOOOO YEAHH!!!

Dating Benny headcannons NSFW EDITION!!!

YAAAYYYY (Price is right music plays)

(It's under the cut, obvi, holy shit wait did i put too much? 😭)

Let's get this out of the way real quick, he DOES NOT, repeat, DOES NOT! want a family, he would say it's because he doesn't have time for it or something but really he just wouldn't want to raise kids out in the wasteland. Though he is yknow rich and all that fun stuff, he's still worried.

If ur a guy you don't have to worry about that stuff, unless you want to like, adopt a kid, which I don't think you'd be able to do in the wasteland, unless you literally just go out and take orphans from the side of the road, which I'm sure there probably are.

Back onto the sexy stuff 😘

He's definitely a bottom. I mean, he's a switch rlly, but he probably got tired of all of the prostitutes just letting him do whatever he wants basically. ALSO WHILE ON THE TOPIC OF PROSTITUTES I HOPE THE DOCTORS IN NEW VEGAS KNOW WHAT STDS ARE.

Back on to Benny, sorry I got distracted 😭

He loves hearing you moan, I mean, as long as it's real, he's so used to hearing fake moans that yours sound like music to his ears.

He's also very vocal. He doesn't really care what other people think if he hears him.

He loves loves LOVES when you pull his hair, or like, just be rough with him, in the end he knows you love him.(Awwww)

If he's on top he'll be as gentle as he can be, he knows you can handle more but he just waits until you tell him to be more rough, even then he won't be really.

He just loves putting his hands on you all the time, so obviously expect him to do that when you're fucking, oh wait, ur bouncing on his dick rn? His hands are busy gently holding onto ur waist.

While we're talking about his hands, I just wanna say he has big hands. And I mean, they wouldn't really be calloused because of how he treats himself now. (He treats himself like a pretty little princess)

His eyes will most likely be on you the whole time, he has this like dazed look in his eyes, he's just admiring you don't worry babes 😘. Though his eyes will most likely be on your face. He always wants to make sure you're enjoying yourself.

Benny is not a great kisser, just wanted to say that, it's not really NSFW, but he's a mediocre kisser, he doesn't really kiss prostitutes, and even then it was like a weird French kiss that Benny never knew was coming so he kinda just sat there for a second before he was like, 'oh shit, wait' and tried his best to kiss back.

He will kiss all over ur body though, he loves pampering you and just making you feel loved. Like I mentioned before, he would have to have fell for you HARD if you ended up dating.

He likes to hold your hands when you fuck, I mean, he tries to most of the time, but your hands are too busy doing anything else.

He has a thing for being praised, at first he'd be upset if you called him a good boy, he'd think your calling him a dog or something, but eventually he was like 'hey, I really like that' and would go out of his way to get praised.

He likes thighs, well, he likes it ALL! RAHHHHH!!! but if he's like giving you head his hands will be GRIPPED on ur thighs the whole time.

Like I said he's very vocal, but surprisingly he doesn't just moan like a bitch the whole time, he actually tires to tell you how much he loves you or how good you feel, but most of it is just quiet and breathy and most of the time gets cut off by him moaning or just yelling out fuck.

IDK WHAT ELSE TO PUTTT UGHHHB! At this point I might as well just write a small little story, I mean a oneshot 😭 I forgot what it was called for a second.

[mufos-photo-album]

Various suggestions for Season of Radiance improvements

Writing this out because I don't wanna lose my thoughts when I submit this to TGC as feedback later...

1) Camera improvements

I currently feel like the camera view in the dye menu is stifling. It doesn't seem like you can zoom in or out, and the way that the game focuses on some items feels a little *too* close (shoes and masks are the worst perpetrators of this in my opinion). I can understand wanting to have a real good look at what color you're gonna dye something, but I also want to be able to see how my dyed items will look in context with other parts of my outfit. Having the camera be super focused on my character's face is not helpful.

2) Preview dye regions

What parts of an item you can dye is not always clear, and as of right now, checking what those parts are is tedious. Players have to walk back and forth between the different parts of the cosmetic store of the Aviary, which is cute at first but loses its charm when you're trying to check out dozens of items. There should be some way to tell the player what parts of an item can be dyed without having to do this back and forth. This suggestion is also not necessarily asking for players to be able to dye things without visiting the Dye Workshop (though I imagine this would be convenient for some players).

3) Ability to hide items while dyeing

When dyeing items like outfits, the character does a little pose which opens the cape, allowing the player to see the outfit underneath the cape. This is a good step in the right direction, however I would prefer if there was an option to hide the cape entirely, since the revealing pose only displays the *front* of the outfit and does little to show off the back. This could be remedied by selecting a more narrow cape (such as the one offered by the Warrior of Love, if I remember correctly), however the problem is that not all players will own such capes.

This ability could extend to other items as well, but capes are the biggest offenders to obscuring player vision.

4) Ability to edit/delete pre-existing styles

Picture this: I have an item with 2 dye regions, but when dyeing it, I only choose one region to dye. Lets say I come back later and decide I wanna use the other dye region but keep the other region the same color as before. As of right now, it seems like the only choice I have is to make a whole new dye style when what I'd really like is the option to edit the old style. I mainly want this for organization. I dunno how many styles per item you can have, but assuming the number is "a lot" I can kinda imagine it getting overwhelming when you have to make a new style every time you dye something.

For this suggestion, it also doesn't need to be true that editing/deleting a style will save on dye or refund it.

There could be more suggestions but this is all the big ones I can think of for now :}

[henke-penke]

I would like to apologize for the wait (I had no idea melfest was going to infect my brain this much lol) but chapter 18 is now completed ! (ish, I still need to edit it)

It's been a little over a year, and it honestly feels surreal that we've reached the end of Lovers and Fools. The final chapter will be posted tomorrow, but I have a few things I want to say before then. Perhaps a bit over the top for a fanfic send-off, but this story and its reception means a lot to me, and I want you guys to know why.

At the end of January last year, my dad, one of the most important people in my life, lost his battle with cancer. It happened way too fucking fast and needless to say I was a wreck. Everything became difficult to do, and while writing remained a massive source of comfort, even that wasn't the same as it used to be. To keep it short, your guy was depressed.

But that's the wild part about life. One moment you're numb and relying on autopilot to make it through another day, and in the next, you're so ridiculously giddy just from reading a tumblr reblog chain of two strangers rambling about their au for a ship you've been obsessed with. And suddenly you want to write again. You need to write again or you're going to explode.

And I was given the go-ahead.

Maybe I'm being a bit hyperbolic, but writing Lovers and Fools has been damn near life-changing. It kept me going through university, it made me grow as a writer, and it helped me navigate my grief. I will also be completely honest, I did not expect it to get the attention it has received holy hell. Kinda feels unreal, but it's a good unreal ! It's my biggest dream to be an author and the response to this fic has been the biggest affirmation that it is possible. That even if the industry is a fucking nightmare, my writing is worth it.

I wanna take a moment to thank @solaiurm for making that initial post of a fake dating au, and @perpetualexistence and @total-drama-brainrot for making those reblog chains and giving me permission to write something inspired by them. I can't stress enough that Lovers and Fools wouldn't exist if it weren't for these people.

And to all you lovely readers, thank you.

For the kudos (genuinly did not expect to pass 100 imma be so real with y'all).

For all the comments; the key smashes, the theorizing, the analyses, the long rambles, and the barking (I saw that).

For the screaming in my inbox and the fanart and the little videos (still not over any of that).

It has been an honor telling this story to you all, so from the bottom of my heart and with all my love, thank you so much for reading Lovers and Fools !

[mermaidsirennikita]

In the year of 2025 when we're just saying what we wanna say, I'm gonna list off some romance pet peeves (which extend to pet peeves about the romance community):

—People who only read about virgin heroines. I think it's weird. If you prefer it over heroines who aren't virgins, fine, we all have preferences, but if it's a requirement for your reading experience, then what the actual fuck tbh.

—Books where the heroine just lies back and does nothing while the hero goes to town. It is not 1973. She can do things to him. She should do things to him.

—"Why choose", and especially those wherein the sword don't cross. It's not inherently bad as a concept, but I have yet to read a book with this angle that doesn't basically read as a female fantasy versus a romance. I think it is excessively difficult for people to write a poly book above a triad wherein all parties actually feel like equally well-drawn characters, and that is simply an understandably artistic limitation.

And it's not that you can't or shouldn't write that angle; I just think they often read more as erotica than romance. Which is a fine thing to write. I just don't buy the *love story*. It's about the heroine getting things (again, receiving) whereas the heroes are basically fantasy stand-ins. Frankly, when they are literally all together at all times (versus in a real-life poly sitch wherein this would often involve people having metas, separate homes, different degrees of commitment) and all the men are straight straight straight, it feels borderline homophobic to me lol. Like. It's not IMPOSSIBLE for this to exist without queerness, but why?

Also, it's painfully clear that a lot of them are written by monogamous women who probably don't even have poly friends...?

Basically: I love a good poly romance. I even think that a series like Sierra Simone's Thornchapel is a great example of a flexible poly sitch wherein it's MMF but the heroine does sleep with one other guy without actually bringing him into the relationship (or frankly, being in love with him). But when you try to brand something as this emotional romance with 4+ partners and you keep them alllll in this scenario where they're allllll together.... I have YET to see that feel emotionally deep.

—Yeah, romance should be well-written and even a one-handed read can be well-written. The goal should be good writing. The genre being about having a good time doesn't excuse poor writing. We can hold this genre to a standard, and if you want people to take it seriously, you kinda gotta. You can't complain about people denigrating your "spicy books" and then say the writing doesn't matter.

We may not all agree on what a good book looks like, and not everything you enjoy has to be solid gold, by any means. But the blanket "why are you critiquing this????" bullshit is invalid. This is not fanfic. People are making money off this. Critique is acceptable.

—It's okay to lament historical romance going out of vogue in traditional publishing. I do, too. But acting like it's entirely the fault of tradpub (and trust me, I'm holding them accountable for their part) doesn't help it grow.

—Indie pub is great and I love it and I'm for it but yes we can tell when a book wasn't properly edited and yes that is why a lot of older books do feel more well-written than a lot of newer books. You can be a good writer. You still need an editor, and it will show.

—Goodreads shouldn't be trusted, and I say this as someone who posts my reviews on Goodreads because it is what is best for the author in this current climate.

—Asking people to spoil a romance novel because it's "stressing you out" makes me roll my eyes. Asking to be spoiled re: triggers, etc, totally get it. Getting stressed out because the people in a book with a guaranteed HEA are fighting... come on now. Let us develop a thicker skin.

—Slow burns can be good. A lot of slow burns are also just an excuse to piddle around and fill up 700 pages full of interruptions. Smariana Shapata.

—There's absolutely nothing wrong with an alpha hero and I love them lots. If he doesn't get his ass kicked by love what is the point

—Calling romance "for women, by women" and using that as an excuse to get hostile towards men entering the space is *homophobic* and *transphobic* and kinda gives TERF vibes.

—Rejecting writers because they're fascist supporters is good, actually

—If you don't think what's happening in America is going to affect your access to romance novels because you're not American, you're wrong and you should do some quick googling about the dominance of the U.S. in the English-language publishing industry.

—Reading outside of your own experience is important in every genre and romance is no exception.

—r/romancebooks is an overall really good alternative to BookTok. r/historicalromance is... a more complex issue.

[puckpocketed]

hello i was tagged by @18minutemajor for WIP Wednesday. it is not Wednesday but i am also not a cop so . here we gooo!!!!!!! tagging my esteemed colleagues (very politely and with no pressure!!!):

@neonfretra @oensible @sorrellegiance @moregraceful @stereax

@wheelsnipecelebrini

@korshrimpski (EDIT: it won’t?? let me tag you. unless these are on separate lines <3)

what's in-progress in your life <3 writing? art? recipe? skill acquisition?

if any crafty people see this - if ANYONE sees this - and would like to join in, feel free and consider yourself tagged <3 (and tag me back so i can see your stuff!!!) link to 18minutemajor's post if yall curious :3 my VERY long wip dump + ramblings under the cut!

its christmas soon and i like to paint gifts for my friends + and i'm finally revisiting my anime/lineart/inking era (here you are K!! my lineart past, present, and future!! <3) so here are some things i've been working on/coming back to/MAY NEVER FINISH: hockey related:

this is juraj slafkovsky and his dinky little middle part which he can absolutely learn to style into something a little less dinky but never does. i am so charmed by him. i imagine he just rocks it because his pretty privilege supersedes dinky middle parts . LMAO!!

here is Sasuke from my Naruto Hockey AU. I am a little stuck on jersey mockups lol. here he is. our haunted little 1OA who is absolutely normal and regular about his captain (LOUD incorrect buzzer):

personal oc art

wanna know some puckpocketed deep lore? i've never been one to make OCs. i was just not a very creative kid tbh. spent all my time drawing sailor moon instead. i still go back to her sometimes because she is one of my favourite shapes in the WORLD!!

in my 20s i took up playing d&d because of the. uh. plague. <3 and got pretty close to having OCs!! those count right? anyway. here is my tavern-wench-turned-wizard!!! i think i painted this 2 years ago? <- put dates on your works guys it saves lives. her name is Mel (short for Melins (pronounced like melons. on account of her knockers. can you tell i never grew out of my 12 yr old booby/cock joke era?) i revisited Mel recently and have started painting her in earnest again!! :3

I briefly dated someone who was very into streetwear and fashion, and I fell down a techwear/gorpcore/cyberpunk rabbit hole for a couple days out of curiosity. i remember literally zero salient info on any of it except the broad strokes of silhouetting and Vibes. what i emerged with, however, was a ?? sorta OC?? im not sure what to call them. they dont rly have a name or gender. I did this little sheet ages ago + the aborted attempt at a portrait later:

Here are my most recent explorations (i have been doing SOOOO much art. <3) which include:

unfinished character sheet + chibi art. I played with their jacket (much more structured/square/tailored thing) and added a lotta random buckles and belts. i took textiles class years ago and have a little experience in garment construction. and i know for a fact this thing does not make any sense. it hurts me to look at a little bit LMAO so i've paused it while i go draft patterns (badly. i was never good at drafting. i think i may have to break out my scrap fabric stash and hand sew a real life mock-up. HELP!)

here is me having fun with them and imagining them as some kind of cyber-fisherman. the best part of every game is the fishing mini-game to me. i love fishing mini-games so much. I made their hair really big because i wanted them to have big unwieldy hair and the vibes told me i should add more movement to the piece aside from the fishing line. I messed with their jacket AGAIN because i can't stop thinking about what kinda jacket they'd wear. gorp-core ? idk. it sure is something!

gifts for my friends :3

back in my weeb era for real YAYYYY!!! up til now i'd been making hockey art using a zero pressure sensitivity pen brush because i simply did NOT want to deal with that. it is and has always been a barrier to me making art that uses line art. <3 easing my way back into it though!

I used to paint gifts for my friends and then get them printed into lil posters and mount them on nice backing :3 i am now ready and back to painting.

Here is my girlbestie's OC. just a rough pose sketch. i think im pretty unsatisfied with the gesture of the head/hand. i wanted to include her gun in some way. i fear i may have to rework the pose entirely <3

For the genshin girlies.. here are some of my friends fave characters.

Yelan - this one i started many holidays ago and put on the backburner because the colouring was wigging me out. you can see where i started rendering stuff + got sidetracked and started on something else (the crystal choker IM LAUGHING @ past me...)

Ayaka - I reaaally like what i did here with the perspective + foreshortening. I don't know if the pose or expression is in-character or not, but i had fun :3 got stunlocked looking at references of genshin weapons so this is where i left off:

if you made it all the way down here hi... <3 ice hockey really cracked the ketchup bottle open for me when it comes to making art again. i love the communities i've found, and i'm inspired by every artist on here every day. thanks for being so cool + have a great day :)

[jujumin-translates]

[A3!] Event | Special Edition: Back to the 00’s | EP: Unexpected Fan Letters

Sakuya: Yawn…

Izumi: Morning, Sakuya-kun.

Sakuya: Ah, good morning, Director!

Izumi: Perfect timing. Here, some letters addressed to you came in the mail, so I wanted to give them to you.

Sakuya: Thank you so much… Wait, HUH!? This bag full of letters is all for me!? 

Izumi: The owner of VelPla forwarded the letters addressed to you that were delivered to the building after the ceremony the other day.

Sakuya: Letters addressed to me were delivered to the building?

Izumi: Usually, fan letters are addressed to the theater company, so I was surprised to hear that, too.

Izumi: The owner thought that people who saw the ceremony and wanted to write you letters didn’t know where to send them.

Izumi: She said she figured that’s why they sent them to the building.

Izumi: That’s probably why there are so many than what you get from your usual fans…

Izumi: The owner said they’re letters from the people of Veludo who wanted to thank you, Sakuya-kun.

Izumi: I’m sure what you said resonated in a lot of people’s hearts.

Sakuya: —.

Sakuya: I’m glad. I’ll be sure to read all of them carefully!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Sakuya: …

Sakuya: (Wow… It really is like the Director said. All of these letters say a lot of things about the ceremony the other day.)

Sakuya: “I was also feeling sad, but when you said what you did, your words really touched my heart, Sakuma-san.”

Sakuya: “You gained a new fan after that. I’ll be supporting you from now on.”

Sakuya: …I’m glad.

*Knock on door*

Azami: Sakuya-san?

Sakuya: Ah, come in!

*Door opens*

Azami: There you are. It’s almost time to start the publicity InsteLive for “VELUDO.”

Sakuya: Ah! You’re right…! I’m coming right now!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Misumi: Ah, they’re both here~!

Sakuya: Sorry for making you wait! You’ve already got the camera set up and everything.

Izumi: Don’t worry about it. Alright, everyone’s here now. Let’s get things started.

Tenma: Yeah, let’s do it.

Izumi: Ready, and… Start!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Everyone: Hello, we’re MANKAI Company!

Tsuzuru: Thank you for tuning in to watch our InsteLive.

Tenma: Have you seen the new edition of “VELUDO” that was released?

Misumi: A lotta comments are coming in saying they’ve bought it~. Thank you~!

Sakuya: What did you all think of our outfits that followed the Y2K trend?

Azami: They were super cute… The cover was really stylish, too… Thanks.

Tsuzuru: Sakuya and Azami were the ones on the cover this time.

Hisoka: It really fit both of them well.

Azami: We weren’t the only ones.

Sakuya: Yeah! Everyone was really cool!

Azami: That said, wearin’ those outfits at the ceremony was kinda cold ‘cause of how much skin we had showin’.

Hisoka: It was really cold around my stomach.

Tenma: There’s a lotta comments saying you guys went to the ceremony or that you had fun. Thanks. We had fun, too.

Sakuya: Let’s all go and hang out there after the renewal!

Azami: Yeah. I wanna go shoppin’ there, too.

Tenma: I can’t wait to see what it’ll look like.

Tsuzuru: There are people saying they’ve seen the pictures from the web edition of “VELUDO,” too.

Hisoka: They’re saying that the pictures taken with the film cameras have a real emotional feel to them…

Misumi: We all doodled on those pictures and made deco pictures~!

Azami: There’s a buncha comments sayin’ they wanna see ‘em.

Hisoka: The comment section is just a storm of people saying they wanna see…

Sakuya: Then we’ll post pictures of them on Inste after this!

Tenma: …Well, looks like it’s almost time to wrap things up.

Misumi: Make sure you all check out “VELUDO”~!

Sakuya: Thank you so much for watching! See you again soon!

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] [ 🫧 ]

[eowynstwin]

same anon who sent the ask abt price: MW3's writing was embarrassing tbh. i agree 100% that narratively, its the most logical and sensible for price to be the one who takes the fall. what you wrote i flat out completely agree with, and its deeply disappointing that we are stuck with an extremely poorly written and rushed story. the game was a hot steamy pile. everyone was slightly out of character, they all growled their lines like mad dogs, and the missions were ass. i cant believe no one talks about the mission where you get anti arab hate crimed. what was that??? what was the reason??? (the only thing i liked about that game were the 9 minutes of nikolai. i just find him entertaining.) i was replaying mw2019 while super high and got to the mission where you threaten the butchers wife and son and just thought to myself; that lady and that kid are gonna have nightmares about price for the rest of their lives. that room is going to come back to them again and again and again. they literally did nothing wrong except the crime of being the butchers family. what price and gaz did is never going to leave them, and gaz was right to question price on that. of course, the game doesn't care at all. they're disposable NPCS for a shock value scene. i dunno, the fact that the game doesn't really give a fuck, and seemingly even condones what happened, just kinda hit different and i had to put the game down for the evening. i guess that hit at that moment bc i had also read a fic a bit earlier where the reader was price's civvy gf and gets kidnapped by his enemies. it bent my brain a bit bc, the thing in the fic is literally a canon event perpetuated by price, portrayed as a good thing by the source material, that now price is the victim of. it was a very weird feeling for my weed addled brain to try and process. think i blue screened actually. i wanna put price in a jar and shake him vigorously. pin him to a board like a entomology insect. i want to bite him. i do love him i swear. but maybe make him actually face a single real consequence for his war crimes? (disappointing that it will never happen on screen bc these games are all gas no breaks outright propaganda. not to mention real war crimes are happening constantly in front of everyone's eyes and going completely unpunished) sorry this is really long, i have no one to talk to abt these games and i dont understand my feelings toward that British man

Yeah. The thing about Price is that he's not a good person in the slightest. We write fiction about the kind of man he can be--the best version of himself, a version we can all stomach--but the real Price is distinct from that, and the best people in this fandom recognize that.

Soap and Ghost have some plausible deniability simply because we haven't seen them doing anything other than action movie stuff. Gaz is on the road to becoming Price--Price is doing his damndest to turn Gaz into himself--but he isn't there yet. (@391780 did a GREAT analysis of the driving scene in mw19 and how Price subtly manipulates Gaz, but I can't find it.)

EDIT: Early kindly provided.

We, as the audience, are not actually supposed to worry that much about the Butcher's family, because Price is one of the Good Guys who would never let something Bad actually happen. Infinity Ward does not take the Butcher's family seriously, and does not want us to take the family seriously, because they are just a convenient vehicle with which to move the plot along. Their presence is, in the end, shock value. We are meant to stare, wide-eyed, wondering is Price really going to go that far? while in the back of our minds knowing of course he's not, because he's our hero. He's just doing whatever it takes. The family is not meant to be anything other than fodder for Price's characterization.

Same with Samara. We are not supposed to care all that much about her, personally--we're supposed to marvel over Makarov's canny brutality, his bRiLLiANcE in recognizing the obvious fact that an Arab woman would make a perfect scapegoat for a plane bombing. Samara does not matter to MW3. Only the shocking way she dies. None of these Arab characters matter to Call of Duty--only the entertainment value of their pain.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but I am reminded of when Price threw a man restrained into a bomb jacket off a balcony, with not a shred of remorse afterword. I'm forced to ask the question--who would Price scapegoat, then, if he felt justified enough?

And yeah, he's never going to suffer the consequences of his actions, because Infinity Ward doesn't think he's actually done anything wrong. We throw the word propaganda around a lot without actually defining it, but Price is emblematic of how the propaganda of Call of Duty works. Price does something reprehensible, and is shown to be justified in doing it--implying that real men like him are justified, too, because don't you understand how little choice Price had? Don't you get that there's no good choice to be made? This is how he has to act, and this is how all soldiers have to act, because war is a dirty business, and someone needs to be willing to do it for the benefit of the ignorant public.

The question of why any of this should be happening at all is never asked.

[swifty-fox]

of course everything you write is amazing but you’re also really out doing yourself with cicada season. the depth of gale’s trauma that you probe but don’t unfold, letting it lurk and dictate who he is while keeping us (and gale too kinda) in the dark. the way you write bucky in this is like i’m getting to know him along with gale and falling in love with him too. the history of his tbi and how it intertwines with what gale struggles with (unconsciously knowing but not knowing things about yourself and the curiosity of such a thing.) the way as gale grows so do his frogs. the comments and tidbits which i hope buck and bucky get later on when they are happy together. (gale having a family, gale having romance, gale having more than marge) i also think its hilarious that bucky doesn’t know benny is gay the same way gale didn’t think bucky was gay. gale letting him stay the night and hold him healed me in a way i hope it works to heal gale too. and the ending? oooo helen you onto him you know what you’re doing. let yourself *feel* gale 😅

i’ve also got a theory: gale is so adamant he wants no romance, nothing to chance, etc but if/when bucky shows up the next time acting like nothing ever happened he’s also gonna be like *what the fuck*

bucky taking buck’s virginity — 16 year old me who always wanted to marry the person she lost her viriginity too (i didnt but i was a romantic) is crying.

wahhh this is SO sweet im kissing you anon.

Cicada season is definitely VERY near and dear to my heart. It's such a project and I'm working so hard really deliver the best piece I can. I'm not really a Kill Your Darlings writer. I don't cut a ton. But I've cut and edited and tweaked so much of it before it's even gone to beta.

for Gale's trauma I PROMISE we're gonna get at least half an answer next chapter. But yes I think it's fun kind of unfolding what happened as Gale does in therapy. Even though he remembers, being able to confront to directly is something he struggles with. I have a friend who shall remain anonymous who has been advising me with ptsd stuff at some stress to their own triggers and I can't be more grateful that they're willing to help me out with this. (You know who you are <3)

Their (and my) main motivation was to make SURE Gale was not just his trauma and his triggers and while yes part of the point of the story is that Gale has allowed himself to become caught up in bad coping mechanisms and unable to grow I wanted you to also just learn Him before I laid it all out on the table, as you would with a real life person.

And Gale and John are two sides of the same coin! Because John absolutely has ptsd from what he went through. And so yes when he recognized the panic attack in gale in the previous chapter it's cause he's like 'damn I and people I know have been exactly there' while also holding him accountable for being a grown adult who is capable and SHOULD manage his reactions ina way that's healthy for everyone. John himself is in therapy, though a little less so now that he's a few years out (I'm still researching tbi stuff but he does have long term PT and MT support)

I thought the helen bit was sooo funny I don't think she meant be present with what you're feeling by getting dicked down but you do you gale!!!

HAH We will see. I don't plan out my chapters too much besides a few key scenes I wanna hit. How Gale reacts to something I only know before it happens about 50% of the time.

OH HAVENT WE ALLL HAD THAT MOMENT