#edit: also i writing here is better because i dont feel shame after that

[nthflower]

I used to have terrible anxiety and it was worse in social media. Even liking posts or just commenting one word things were impossible for me.

And now I am sharing whatever I want some stupid posts my personal nonsense or even comment sometimes and interact with people etc.

It is very important for me because normal people things were so alien and so unreachable. And now I am doing it.

I thought I was hopeless and there were no future. Like there were good future possibilities which I wanted but find impossible and there were bad future which I was deadly afraid of. And never changing future where I did nothing and everything was same. But no right now I am living in future I didn't even thought about it there was a 4th way for things to go. And it opened many other possibilities soo there was not only 4th way but a 5th or 6th or infinite ways to go. And still future isn't hopeless and possibilities are limited it can be absolutely different and unexpected. I can't lose my hope.

Anyways just writing posts about my feelings here is something past me wanted but thought impossible so it's interesting for me. And I wanted make a post about that but it's became more detailed.

I Love you people who reading this even I don't know you and I mean it. I also started to love and value people more. And I care about things more in a way that matters. I care about random people I care about life and death I care about myself.

Life became more real and I can handle it more easily. Healing is terribly scarily super hard but it's better than what I was.

I never wanted to go back there is no back and I am more happy being emotionally unstable than being emotionless all the time.

I like making mistakes now it's better than doing nothing

End :)

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

[lacertae-dreamscape]

I love u pls teach me how to write I want to start but idk how to put ideas into words

honestly the first thing is just... write, u know?

it seems trite and stupid logic suggestion, but. if you don't start, u never do anything with it.

put your idea down in whatever way you want -prose, poetry, etc- and then work on it. polish it with more words and details, colour it with gentle brushes and its ok if its not satisfying. that's what trying again is for. you take what you've written and rework it. (god. edit. edit 10 times. add things. remove things. look up things on the internet for inspo. do ALL the things. unapologetically.)

but also don't do it like me where i start with a basic idea and then build an entire novel on it bcs im too verbose

build on your words, experiment, abandon what doesn't work and try again. like neil gaiman said once, 'just write'

then, if it feels better for you, write for yourself. and i dont (just) mean 'haha ignore other people and just write what u want' that. can work a lot of the times but if you are like me and crave feedback, it doesn't *quite* help. part of u will always write for others too.

what i mean is: when i started writing, i didn't publish things. i did super self indulgent shit like every other teen writer out there by doing, wait for it, mary sue fics and self inserts. *FOR YEARS*

i wrote pokémon fanfics and animorphs fanfics without at the time knowing it was 'fanfic' (bless sheltered mini-me for being like 'i wanna write me inside the animorphs' and not realising it had a name bcs i was completely abstracted from the concept of a fandom)

it was easier because there was a constant script to follow (hi. my name is [name]. i cannot tell you my surname, because aliens will find me, and everything will end. [here's a description of what happens in the general plot, who are our enemies, who are our alllies, who i am, and then the story starts, and it goes from there) so i found it easy to get into it, bcs the rules were easier. now i abhor first person stories but back then it was normal and i liked them.

and i would probably die of shame and embarrassmnt if anyone were to find the actual *papers* i wrote it on, or after that, the pc files i wrote, but ive grown enough at least to be able to admit i did it.

nobody will ever ever ever EVER catch a single whiff of that. its done and gone. for my eyes only. cringe shit. i wrote my version of entire animorphs books of fanfics.

YET. that cringe shit motivated the fuck out of me, esp in a period where i was already sad and stressed and anxious. was it badly written? u BET. but i was RLY into writing it. it was fun. it was indulgent.

this allows you to write whatever the fuck you want without fear of people judging or nosing around in your business, and it lets u explore and try things out in a way that makes it fun.

i started posting in my first fandom (haha it was beyblade. no judgement, i missed all the big serious fandoms by 10 miles and 10 inches) and looking back it was pure shit. i was the specific 'god this person uses the thesaurus too much' bcs i wasn't native english speaker, so i did a lot of grammar mistakes

yet there were people who in that fandom looked out and reached out for me with nice comments and it helped me thrive, even if the fic was shit. it helped me feel like it was ok to continue.

i feel a lot of fandoms now miss that delicate feeling of 'helping this writer out even if they're not good' because nowadays most fandoms don't actively comment on fanfic in general, unless ur in one of the big fandoms, so its hard to feel motivated to continue, but writing takes time

so you have to start now in order to build urself a base to stand on.

another suggestion is, from a person who went through it over time, find people who enjoy your ideas with whom you can talk it out, and expand them. start putting down ur idea as it is, like 'so i had this idea that i wanna write and its like. just character A standing on top of a hill, reaching out for character B who is grappling at the edge and about to fall, and i want them to look at one another with despair and urgency and then A's hand slips and B lets go- and i want to write what happens next but im not sure' and have someone go 'do u want B to die so u explore that, or do u want B to go through some shit but with a happy ending' and u move from there.

you have no idea how many times ive been saved simply by talking plot out w others to fix some shit.

also something neil gaiman said is that if a friend tells u something needs fixing they're right, but if they detail to you exactly *what* needs fixing and how, they're wrong. people can help you, but the writing is yours. u feel it in ur heart, even if it takes a bit, ok?

there's no big, secret way to write, except take inspo from writers u enjoy reading from (both published or not) and find your own way. do you like writing dialogue more? do you like descriptions?

find something u RLY RLY like and write that thing, obsessively, and without shame, until you're satisfied.

if you really want to start writing, if it calls for you, nothing can stop you, except starting. so give the middle finger to that big hesitance and throw urself into it.

so what i meant is, tl;dr = if you want to write, start writing. close ur ears to everybody else and throw words down. the editing will come later, adding and polishing will come later. even if what you write is simple and barren, you work on it 10, 30 times and add to it. take inspiration from what writers you like wrote, their styles, the way they word things, experiment, find friends to talk it out, and go for it. i believe in you, and in the kind of person you want to become. if u truly *want* to write, u don't need to start strong or be awesome right away, u just need to want it enough to continue through.

[ms-demeanor]

After reading your "ultra-long postivity post", now I have kind of a weird feeling because i relate a lot to pretty much everything you said, but i ended up approaching the "not everyone can x" from the opposite side, being the "gifted kid" teachers used to hold everyone to unrealistic standards (that i knew most couldnt achieve in the given timeframes), and now i get frustrated when i dont develop skills immediately, because i have done it before and feel like i should be able to and aaaaaaaaaa

Funny story: when I was a kid my parents had both my sister and I tested for learning and developmental disabilities. This testing included IQ testing.

It identified that we were both “gifted” kids* and that I’m dyslexic.

It totally missed my ADHD, though!

The problem with that is that my parents. Hm.

Okay my parents both grew up in very poor families. VERY poor. And they both wanted to go to college and knew the only way that they could was through scholarships. So they became debaters. They met at a tournament in high school.

Debaters are weird. You need an efficient working memory and strong recall and the ability to think quickly on your feet. Being witty and kind of an asshole are also good traits for debaters. Basically you’ve either gotta be really fuck-off smart to be a competitive debater or you’ve gotta at least *seem* really fuck-off smart.

And my parents were champion debaters at a national level. The Whittier College debate trophy has my mom’s name written directly under Richard goddamn Nixon. My dad was on the USC debate team and competed against Harvard and won. Not only that but he ended up coaching debate for USC and Cal Tech.

So as kids who grew up in extremely poor families and were able to go to college and get middle-class jobs and buy a house because of intellectual ability my parents placed A LOT of importance on intellectual ability.

So that IQ score became a large part of my life.

First we attacked the dyslexia. The approach was basically teaching me a bunch of sight words because sounding out phonics doesn’t work when the letters get screwed up. And because I was *gifted* we did a lot of really BIG sight words.

It took about six months to get me up to speed from “memorizing the pages of a story to match the pictures because I couldn’t read along in class” to “the first book I read on my own was The Hobbit.” I guess that counted as “cured” because that was the last time I got any kind of educational assistance.

At that time I was at a gifted school, a really tiny private school that was also an after-school daycare where we did full-day classes and then did gymnastics and swim from 3-6pm. I also was there over the summer because my parents worked.

So going from “tiny private school where the teacher has you stand up in class to read your failing grade in front of everyone so that she could shame you into performing better” to “fine public school in a suburb wealthy enough to have arts programs” was a major, major change. They did an aptitude test because I was transferring in from a different district and there was much discussion about whether or not to move me directly from the second to the sixth grade.

The district refused, thank fuck.

The public elementary school didn’t *have* a gifted program so it took very little time for me to become the Certified Weird Kid. My third grade teacher had me read aloud to our class for twenty minutes a day. I taught the class the multiplication table.

When it got to be time to go to the junior high school my mom went to a meeting for the school’s gifted kids program. APPARENTLY one of the kid’s dad’s basically said “I don’t understand why you’re wasting school funds on field trips for the stupid kids, the school should spend more of its resources on kids who have a chance of actually meaning something to the world” and my mom decided that while being gifted was important it was less important than making sure I wasn’t exposed to assholes of that caliber on a regular basis.

(thanks mom, I actually do really appreciate that reprieve)

Several teachers pushed me into advanced classes - my math teacher insisted that I take the advanced algebra classes in the seventh and eighth grade.

The GATE kids *WERE* assholes and were extra bonus special assholes to me because math was the only advanced class that I was in. (At my junior high school you had to pick your elective based on what level of classes you were in - to take the GATE classes you HAD to take a music elective; if you took art, drama, shop, or home ec you couldn’t take the smart kid classes. The algebra class was a new, separate addition to the program so *some* of the kids in the “electives for dropouts” program could take algebra. Schools are really fucked up, guys, in case you didn’t know schools are really fucked up and that was BEFORE No Child Left Behind).

I got a C in that algebra class and sat in my room for literally an hour screaming at myself for being such a selfish, distracted idiot that I let myself read my books instead of studying harder for the class. (clearly very healthy, normal twelve-year-old behavior)

When it was time to go to high school my teachers made a united plea to the district to transfer me into honors/IB/AP classes.

The kids in the honors/IB/AP classes continued to be kind of awful to me. I got extremely depressed and basically started doing the lazy-but-brilliant thing of completely ignoring homework or in-class work but performing spectacularly well on tests or essays in the classes that I wasn’t catastrophically failing

I was the only person at the school who got a perfect score on the vocab part of my SAT. I was the only honors kid who hadn’t been in SAT prep classes. There was only one other kid who graduated with the same number of units as I had, we’d outstripped the valedictorian and salutatorian but three classes each. I only applied to one college - I got accepted for painting but my interviewer urged me to move to the writing program and I got accepted for that too.

My financial aid didn’t come through and my dad wasn’t willing to cosign for loans on “an art program at a trade school.”

I got accepted to Pratt Institute on their Writing for Publication track which included an internship with the New York Times for third-year students in the program.

At that point I had a Columbia Scholastic Press award for my work on my high school yearbook.

Let me tell you, the community college that I went to and spent five years variously failing and succeeding at had a fucking *killer* newspaper and magazine when I was there. The local community newspaper that hired me when I was 21 was also much better designed and edited than it had any right to be for the three years I worked there (getting paid a whole eight dollars an hour and sometimes working 20 hours straight to get it in to the printer on time).

When I transferred to the state school I got perfect grades and worked full time and won every contest offered by the school’s English Honors society (which I couldn’t join because I was a transfer student and hadn’t done honors classes my freshman and sophomore years). I started a literary magazine with some friends when I graduated; we published four full issues online before it fell apart.

You know what’s also funny?

Even the food-service job I had to pay my way though the community college I felt terrible about attending was a skills test. I was a barista, so of course for a while I was a competitive barista.

I disappointed my parents a lot. I heard a lot of “we know you’re better than this.” I got told I was too smart to be screwing up this bad. I mentioned it a couple weeks ago but my results from that IQ test got compared to my sister’s and that was the justification for holding me to a higher standard. “You’re measurably brilliant, why aren’t you acting like it?”

Here lies the corpse of a gifted kid. Look on my works ye might and despair.

I am the perfect picture of a twice exceptional gifted kid and the reason I wrote all of this out is to tell you one thing:

“Gifted Kid” is a label that someone applied to you, it has nothing to do with who and what you ARE.

It’s very, very unfair that the adults in your life used you that way. I have an exceptionally terrible memory of being singled out as the only one who passed the first test in my IB World History class; “Why is Alli the only one of all of you who is writing at grade level? You’re supposed to be the smartest kids in the school, why did you all fail?”

That’s awful for the kids around you, that’s awful for you. It doesn’t do anybody any favors if people around you are being informed that you’re setting the curve they’ll be judged against. And it really, really doesn’t do YOU any favors because it doesn’t take long *at all* for your brain to learn that that’s all you’re good for. If you aren’t the best at a thing then what’s the point, you HAVE to be best because they already SAID you were best and if you aren’t then all these other people hate you for setting a standard that even you can’t keep up with.

You end up competing with past versions of yourself and focusing on those things that make the grownups in your life praise you because the grownups in your life has praised you in such a way that it’s turned all the other kids against you.

You know who bullied the fuck out of me? The kids I taught the times tables to, the kids I read to for half an hour a day.

Those kids were MEAN to me but the teacher who told me to read Boxcar Kids to the class after lunch everyday was NICE and she told me not to worry, they were just jealous and I should be proud of my gifts.

“Anon did this in three minutes. What’s taking the rest of you so long?” - what a terrible weight to put on a child. You’re right. Not everyone can do everything.

Fucking hell.

Adults what the everloving shit is wrong with us? Please don’t treat kids like that.

Okay.

Okay.

But here’s the other thing:

If there’s any time in your life that it’s easy to acquire skills with no apparent effort it’s when you’re a child surrounded by a support system that is engaged in making sure that you can acquire those skills.

It took three adults, two dictionaries, and several hours a day to teach me enough sight-words to throw me into “look at baby genius*” territory but from my perspective as a little kid I was just reading cool stories.

I spent four hours a day in the yearbook room and ditched and failed other classes so that I could work on the yearbook. I collected hundreds of magazines to get an eye for layout. But from my perspective as a teenager it was a fun activity that I did with the closest thing I had to friends.

I’m sure that there are some skills that you had a natural aptitude for, some things that came naturally. But I’m also sure that you didn’t learn those skills with no effort, it’s just that now as an adult with a life and other shit going on it takes more effort to learn to do things.

In all likelihood you weren’t a savant who did everything perfectly the first time you tried. It just seems that way because even really smart kids don’t know when they’re bad at things and are mostly being compared against other kids (with the few rare exceptions of music prodigies or math prodigies or those kids who end up in science grad programs at 12 and boy howdy do I think there’s a whole other can of worms when it comes to the way child prodigies* interact with the world).

You wanna know what probably saved my life in the last few years?

That “anti-capitalist love notes” tumblr post.

You are worth more than your productivity.

You are worth more than your productivity.

You are worth more than your productivity.

I was actually kind of offended the first time I saw that post on my dash. “No I’m not,” I thought. “You’re only worth what you can do, everyone knows that. People care about what you do for them.”

And why the hell would I think anything else? That’s what I’d learned for pretty much my whole life.

It took me a really long time to understand that I was wrong. I matter outside of what I can do for people or how well I perform. I matter more than being able to perfectly recite poetry from memory or do calculations on command or sit down at a piano and play a piece I’ve never played by sight-reading it.

And you matter outside of that too. You’re more than your performance, you’re better than being gifted. There are people who love you for the way you make them laugh and how you listen to their stories and for the simple joy of your presence.

It’s nice to be clever, it’s handy in a lot of situations even if it does come with a lot of baggage for some people.

But god damn, it’s important to be kind.

* Personally I have issues with the way that society constructs the concepts of giftedness, genius, and prodigies. There are a lot of “gifted” kids who were the kids who scored in the top 5% of their class in school but there are also gifted kids who were doing high-level math or reading novels as toddlers; there are prodigies who showed an aptitude for music young and who were then schooled in that instrument to the exclusion of all other activities (and I bet there are a fair number of kids who might be considered prodigies if they were trained to play flute for nine hours a day and didn’t have friends but thankfully we don’t *do* that to very many people - side note, ask me my opinion about olympic athletes some time). Words like “genius” and “gifted” are very nearly meaningless and almost *never* accurately reflect skills proficiency or long-term success or are reflected in income or respect. People think that geniuses are hypercompetent robots with their shit together but literally every adult I know with a genius-level IQ is some variety or other of total fucking tire fire.

[milos-journal]

OO OO OO i have things to say abt this. and this is not an attack on u at all op, moreso a launching point to talk abt my take on this (since my blog is a t12-heavy one)

so i mostly agree w this until we get to the tags (for context, these are the tags. if u cant read em well there is an alt text)

first, tw for adam, his actions (and the triggers applying to them) and t12 for the rest of this post. im on mobile rn so i cant put a cut but imagine one here.

t12 is imo one of the rare cases where we cant exactly be.. divorcable 100%? you can and you cant. i think the course of action best taken is moreso “intake the media but don’t fully death-of-the-author it. keep in mind what he’s done and how that affects his series”

like, for a more lighthearted example, adam was definitely into selfcest, which im not gonna discourse abt the morals of that thats just a thing that was there and on the table. so its not shocking he had noah interact w versions of himself so often.

adam was into kidnapping, stalking, glasses and stripes (no i cant explain any of those). so observers Everything is not a shock.

adam often used t12 and noah maxwells character as a springboard to groom young, impressionable people and even take advantage of full grown adults, so its understandable WHY people dont like adam and hence dont like noah OR tribetwelve. a lot of adams fetishes and personal ideals were all over it.

adam glorified noahs character for a reason, even if he claimed it was the “worst parts of himself as a character”. it clearly wasnt, why else would he have spent time in milos journal for milo to praise the character, and wouldnt have written noah to be sympathetic. he took critiques on noahs character to be critiques on himself so he said noah was the worst parts of him to make him look better. adam doesnt EXACTLY equal noah but the two DO deliberately overlap a lot, and its important to keep that in mind when approaching the character. but at the same time BECAUSE adam was so connected to noah, the character felt very real to a lot of people. a lot of noah being “dumb” is very reasonable reactions to me considering half the story noahs deeply stressed and the other half he’s being told the world is on his shoulders.

on that note, theres still a lot to enjoy about the series! tribetwelve is still a series thats not half bad. it had good editing, fun imagery/symbolism and intruiging charaxters (even if adam didnt know how to write them). i ESPECIALLY think the fan community that prior existed (and still kind of does, even if barely alive) made the series. i noticed a LOT of stereotypically “weird kids” gravitated towards tribetwelve and hence it made an UNBREAKABLE community. even if a lot of people left the sv community after adam was outed, a lot of those people still held long-lasting friendships because of the series. and to say none of those things arent there would be a fucking shame.

people LOVED tribetwelve for a reason, even if most people considered it stand alone not that great (because lets be real some parts of it are just. not that great.) but to watch t12 and not be able to know just what it caused and the influence adam had on its creation is to not address the elephant in the room.

again, this is not an attack on op or their opinion. there is no right way to consume media. this is just a point ive wanted to get out my thoughts for a while but never knew when to get it out or fully express it and i feel like a discussion NEEDS to be had in sv, especially t12, on consuming content made by problematic people, especially if the content can be seen as problematic in itself. my point is, you can mostly divorce tribetwelve. keyword mostly. but people have to acknowlege some of what is put into tribetwelve is disturbing (cough cough NAZIS cough) and the series itself has a poor track record of being used to take advantage of minors, so some people just do NOT want to acknowlege it. however it also holds artistic merit as any piece of media does and has created a strong, tight-knit community thats almost completely morphed the series itself. and both of these are okay and CAN coexist and are imo very decent takes to have! and at the end of the day, maybe tribetwelve was just the friends we made along the way.

thank u for coming to my ted talk (first longform post ive made in a while)

i think its really unfortunate when people ignore tribetwelve now because the creator sucks. tribetwelve is awesome as hell with insane visuals and it doesnt deserve that

[agentangeles]

Let’s talk about TYAC.

Usually, this blog updates infrequently, and it’s whatever project I’ve got in-progress. The prompt challenge is on temporary hiatus right now, but each individual prompt has been its own contained fic.

I want to take this time to... I dunno, explain this fic? I owe this to nobody, but I still feel that it’s important, because throughout the past year and change, TYAC has been something of a constant for me. 

TL;DR for under the read more: no, TYAC isn’t taking over priority for Hallmark Cliches, nor will it be taking priority any time soon.

If you follow my main blog, @implodingcacti​, then you might be familiar with this acronym. I’ve tagged posts on my main blog with #still dont have a tyac tag for a while now- yes, I know the tag is goofy, but I never bothered to change it, and it became a running gag. There’s a bit of assorted chatter from last year when progress was really kicking off, and then life hit me during NaNoWriMo and I put it on hiatus.

This fic is, quite literally, the culmination of me deciding that Klavier deserves better than how he’s treated. Capcom has shoved him into the role of a petty cameo, and that’s a damn shame.  This fic is me giving him the care and consideration that he honestly deserves. Klavier has so much potential in-canon, and yet he’s let down by a lack of bonds. We know he has a brother, we know that Daryan is his friend, and that’s... it. We know nothing about extended family, or what his time was like at Themis, or the other 3 Gavinners and their individual dynamics. Hell, we don’t even know what happened to Vongole, Kristoph’s dog. Where is she, Capcom? Where did you put our baby?

I’m not gonna pretend that this isn’t an ambitious project. I’m not going to pretend that this fic is going to shatter people’s worlds, too- don’t get me wrong, I’d love to, but I don’t want to disappoint myself. Honestly, I’m not expecting much of anything beyond making him feel as fleshed out as he deserved. I latched onto him after Serenade, getting to see all of those miniature glimpses into his band and recognizing similarities between my own performing experiences, and damn it if I’m not soft on the man. That case really was what sold me on loving him, after all.

That being said- TYAC is still completely unfinished. At the time of writing, my in-doc wordcount is sitting a bit over 100k (103,047 to be exact, in case anyone is curious). This includes scene notes for things I haven’t written, script for in-game cases (because fuck it, I decided I wanted to have the cases in the damn fic), and the fic itself. TYAC is not finished, nor is it close to being done. 

If ever I am running a fic that isn’t TYAC, that fic is taking priority. Eventually, I’d love to have TYAC be finished, and I’d love to share it with people. I’m also very aware of my own abilities, and even if I dedicated all of my time to working on it, I’d get quickly burnt out.

I’ve had a lot of estimates about where the fic’ll end up wordcount-wise. Each one has been wrong. I’m setting a rough estimate around 200k, and hoping maybe I land under that. I have no idea if I will. 

Another thing I wanted to mention is that I’ve talked about the fic being in sections. Section 1 is its own chapter, and is the shortest so far out of everything. I’m gonna go over the sections upcoming, their names in the doc, and kind of give y’all a rough estimate of what to expect.

Section 2: SEVEN YEAR OVERVIEW; NOW WITH TOURING DRAMA

Takes place where 1 left off, here’s our Gramarye trial and the 7 year gap. Did you like the other Gavinners? There’s a lot of them here. It’s the “developing the Gavinners” section. 

Section 3: IN PRESENT TIMES. DISBANDING.

Spans the in-between space of Turnabout Trump and Turnabout Corner to right before the events of DD. We have 3 cases here- Corner, Serenade, and Succession. If you haven’t played AJ, you can essentially read a good chunk of it. The characterization leaks out a bit as well. I know I’m developing Klavier, but there’s someone else who I think would be fun to include...

Section 4: RECONNECTIONS. GOODBYES. A SOLO CAREER THAT KEEPS PAUSING. REPEAT AS NEEDED.

Two games in one- we’re spanning DD through SOJ with this one! One case in detail, though- it’s Turnabout Academy, but this time with less bleh. There’s mentions of other cases, and a bit of overlap, so it isn’t like you’re completely missing out, but there’s a bit more going on with Klavier. Lots of emotional shit. Boy’s gotta react to shit, after all. Capcom, you cannot hide your grieving and comforting from me. Miss me with that shit.

Section 5: TWO YEAR OVERVIEW, NOW WITH TOURING DRAMA, ROUND TWO; ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. (30% more pining edition)

Post-SOJ, baby! Two years of a free and open playground where I am free from the confines of canon and will handle the boy how I see fit. There’s emotional healing in this chapter. Funky friendships. My official promise to the “Do They Know Yet” blog being once-again upheld. I’m tying up loose ends in as many neat bows as I can.

That’s as much as I can touch on without it being spoilers. At any point, please feel free to ask questions about this fic. I am constantly vibrating about this project.  Thanks for sticking with me through it all. Hopefully I’ll have new stuff out on it soon!

-Angeles (they/he)

[ayy-spec]

Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

·  to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me  (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

·  :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

·  i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way. 

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

[comicteaparty]

April 1st-April 7th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from April 1st, 2020 to April 7th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How do you feel about creators spoiling their own stories, and how does it effect how you read the comic?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

As someone who's both reader & a creator, it can be really hard to restrain giving spoilers. But it could also be that they are excited to make this story and they wanna 'get to the spoilers' really soon. But if you are such creator, an idea is to find friends whom you can trust, don't mind giving critique/give spoilers to. As a reader it can be slight disappointment to learn about spoilers in a comic you were invested in and still reading. At this point, I might think, I'm going to get out of the conversation on the spoilers and wait until more content is made(edited)

DanitheCarutor

Being someone who was raised by a parent who wanted me to spoiler movies for them if I saw it first, I don't care about stories being spoiled for me. Experiencing the scene is usually very different than being told what it is, also once I get to that spoiled scene I've already forgotten about it thanks to my Quality short-term memory. Honestly, I would totally go all out spoiling my own comic, but I know most people hate that stuff so I don't out of respect. There have been a few times when I've talked about spoilery stuff not really knowing if it would be considered a spoiler, or because I'm talking about something else that is related and I have to spoil a bit for the topic.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Personally it depends on how plot heavy the spoiler is. If it's something like what food/clothing/interests the characters have, I don't mind so much. But if it's something like who is going to die, who falls in love with who....I think the experience would be slightly more diminished.

Like @Joichi [Hybrid Dolls] said, I usually share the spoilers only with close friends, particularly those who know how to give their input. It's important to get feedback, but choosing who you tell is very important.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’m very protective of story details. I don’t want people to know any of what’s going to happen in my story. I like having secrets

I don’t really mind hearing spoilers myself much of the time because I mostly enjoy stories by looking at all the events in the story together. If I know all the events sooner that often lets me enjoy it sooner

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I usually don't care that much about spoilers, unless it's about character death or something. Usually, I try to avoid them like the plague, just in case, but I don't really care that much.(edited)

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Personally, on other people's comics, I usually only refer to what's in the comic proper. Not too fond of having to read supplemental material, like creator QA's.

I know they can be nice for some readers, but I genuinely don't like it when the knowledge established in a QA or so is assumed to be known in the comic proper without ever being mentioned there.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'm having difficulty articulating my reasons, but for me, the creator spoiling things is different from a reader spoiling the same things. And reader-supplied spoilers can also be VERY different based on context and tone. I hate it when people spoil things for others out of malice (like when people were buying ad spaces, just after that one Harry Potter book came out, to broadcast [THIS IMPORTANT CHARACTER] DIES!!!!), even if I don't care about the work being spoiled.

Going back to creator-supplied spoilers........ it's something I can't relate to, as a creator myself? (Sharing spoilers in private is one thing, but if they're posting it in public...) This is going to sound negative and I apologize in advance. When I see a creator laying out the big spoilers in public, it makes me worry that maybe they prefer to talk instead of actually making the comic -- that maybe they won't make it to the ending. I'm happy to be proven wrong, of course. And there is no shame in dropping a comic before you get to the end (I've done that myself!). But yeah, public spoilers is one of those things that makes me worry.(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

^My thoughts exactly. It worries me in exactly the same way.

Deo101 [Millennium]

when it comes to reading spoilers, Ive never really minded. Granted, I'd rather have spoilers more towards "what to expect" because I otherwise will get a lot of anxiety. A bit of the way in, I want to know if something is going to be worth my time to get invested into, or if I should ignore the stress and just be along for the ride. Being told things like "this is a tragedy and you shouldnt expect to have a happy ending" and "everything will work out in the end" really calms me down when I'm reading. Getting small spoilers about character things, inconsequential plot stuff, etc. don't really bother me at all, but yeah I'm with keiiii where if someone is sharing the ending of their story halfway through I worry theyre not interested in actually working to get there.

I'll personally share in small private settings whatever people want to know, but I refuse to in a public setting share what I'd consider to be a big spoiler. I'll share small character things or vague plans and some worldbuilding stuff, but I don't see those as spoilers really.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The "what to expect" thing is a really great topic though. I would love to discuss it in depth in shop talk when the caffeine kicks in

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Ooh me too. I drop some future story features in my About page - very broadly. But it's more of a pitch than an outright spoiler. It requires some vagueness to be effective.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

@Deo101 [Millennium] Setting expectations correctly is very different from spoilers, I think, and more in direction of "what genre does that story fall under". Like a romance means happy (for now) ending for the main couple - even if you might end up disagreeing if an ending is happy.

It ain't a spoiler that a space opera has some kind of space travel, that kind of thing.

For me spoilers tend to cover plot specifics, not genre and general tone. That's setting expectations.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, but a lot of people really don't like to say that their story is gonna be a tragedy because they dont want to spoil that people are gonna die or whatever

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

That's... bad marketing.

Deo101 [Millennium]

it happens constantly

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I agree that a lot of times what creators share is basically bonus plot info, or extra details, or even warnings. I actually haven't really ever gotten a major spoiler from a creator.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Mind you, you can have people die without being a tradgedy, see the majority of epic fantasy.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

(On a side note, I have spoiled 100% of the plot of my comic to very specific close people in my life, but I don't know if that counts.)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't think there is a single person to whom I've spoiled 100% and I'm jelly of those of you who have Story Confidantes!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Honestly SOs and close siblings are a GODSEND

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'm close with my bro, but he's not into the kind of stuff I write. (might be getting off topic?)

RebelVampire

Yeah I do want to remind again here this should be about experiences as a reader, not as a creator. And I know there can be a bit of bleed over, but there's a point where the focus changes too much.

RebelVampire

I think this depends on who it's being spoiled to. If creators want to spoil their stories to close personal friends in private convos, I think that's A-okay. Even as a writer I do that, because it's good to have people to bounce ideas off of. And I think for more creators it's the same. Also, sometimes you just want to have a fun chat to de-stress and it's easier with people who you can tell all your secrets too. If it's being spoiled to people who asked for spoilers, that's also another matter where I think it's mostly fine. In fact, depending on what's spoiled, it can really help drive engagement. For example, if a comic is "spoiling" lore that has a significant bearing on the plot without revealing the exact how of it all. However, then we come to the matter of major public spoilers, which there are tons and tons of creators who do this. On the one hand, that's the creator's right to do so, so a part of me feels like embracing the can't be helped mindset. But, if I'm being brutally honest, as a reader 90% of the time it just kills all engagement with the story for me. I mean, what's the point of reading the story if I can just find out everything in a fraction of the time? Plus, for me personally, I enjoy theorizing and trying to guess events, mysteries, etc. And if I'm being told the answers, that basically ruins like 80% of how I engage with content. I'm also confident I'm not the only reader who feels this way, so personally speaking I don't think it's a wise decision no matter how juicy or agonizing it is to hold in the spoiler.

Feather J. Fern

For me, spoilers don't mean much. I'm still going to read the comic regardless. Now I spoiling something is funnier, because it takes me forever to get to the section which I spoiled, so something I spoiled would take a year to get to, and then everyone forgot the spoiler anyways. XD

I have already spoiled endings to my friends about one of my comic projects, and three months in they are already like "I forgot about that." So maybe it's just my readers haha.

DanitheCarutor

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) About the talking vs. finishing the comic thing. If I decided to spoil it would be because I was impatient to discuss. Like, right now I have the worst itch just to talk about the climax and ending to discuss all the little details, what I could do better next time, if I should put trigger warnings on specific chapters, and/or how my readers feel. Would it keep me from making it to the end? Nah, executing and seeing the results are not the same as describing them. The emotions a reader has can change vastly when they experience an event vs. read a description, it's not as fulfilling... or as painful. At least that is my perspective, neither I nor my readers would get the full experience from me describing a major event/ending. I don't know how it would be for other creators though. Lol

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, it's definitely a case by case thing.

DanitheCarutor

Pff yeah, I imagine some people are less anal about execution than I am.

eli [a winged tale]

Great discussions here! If I’m the reader, I’d prefer not to be spoiled and enjoy the story as is. It helps me as both a consumer and a creator to see how the plot twists are planted and revealed. As a beta reader, though, I would need to know the story to give suggestions on how to execute said spoilers but this is more of a creator-to-creator basis. I totally get the itch to share and I think having betareaders/comic confidantes are great for satisfying that need while getting constructive ways to evaluate them.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Agreed. I think having at least one person within your reader circle who is privy to deeper details can be very helpful, both for editing and for motivation Especially if there are story details that won't be shared for years. It's a good way to prevent 'leakage'

DanitheCarutor

I need to get myself a confidant, not only would it help the itch but talking about it would probably help me better fill in the small details. There was a rl friend I had who got too busy and lost interested, and someone online who I talked to about smaller stuff, but I don't like bothering people. Especially since my comic is sooo... my comic. Lmao!

Gosh, I would be the perfect person for someone to confide in about their comic, I would totally forget about the spoilers after waking up the next day.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Tbh I don't mind if a story is spoiled to me. I'm the type of person who is like "okay so that's how it ends? How does it get there?" and I would be more upset if the creator spills those important parts that reach the end result. Though, when explaining my comic plots and details to my irl friends and beta readers, it's more of a planning session than things said in stone. Basically if it's something that I've not written down and could be a spoiler, yet I talk about it and those spoiler squeals aren't in the final scripts though. If it's an important detail and is a spoiler, I will withhold that information till the time comes.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I don't know what I'd think because I've never seen a webcomic I liked share spoilers before. I get the feeling that a "serious" writer would keep their twists private because they know they can show their plot better than they can tell it, if that makes sense. Even Sfeer Theory, a comic I really like that iirc did much of its brainstorming online, shut down their old worldbuilding posts once they got their actual comic started.

varethane

Personally, I'm not hugely opposed to spoilers, though it depends on the context. A lot of new webcomics when they're just started out will often only be able to market themselves with illustrations of scenes or dynamics that haven't quite happened yet, just by virtue of being so early on, and that's fine-- though increasingly less necessary the more Comic is released. The only kind of spoiler I might be actively mad about is if a comic whose appeal hingest largely on a central mystery or suspense spoiled The Answer, but I feel like most of the writers creating stories like that are conscious of this and keep that sort of thing under lock. There's also a big reason why I personally try not to share spoilers (and why I try not to put much stock by any spoilers I see posted by other webcomic creators, in case their process is like mine)-- which is that, basically anything that is more than a month ahead of the pages I've already drawn, is very likely to change substantially. I rewrite future plot points all the dang time. So if I shared something as a 'spoiler', there's only a 50/50 chance of that plot point actually coming to pass (unless it's one of the 4/5 big central plot linchpins); any readers waiting for it may come away disappointed, lol.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Def agree with Vare on this one. However, sometimes when a writer tells details to the point of no surprise in the comic whatsoever, that usually breaks immersion and interest for me. I've had a couple stories stagnate from having their plots revealed by the writer, and when the story hinges on that being a selling point, it tends to be very dissapointing to have done. Unless the story is character driven/ has characters charming enough to capture readers, i would def avoid spoiling the main plot points of the story if they can

eli [a winged tale]

I feel like anything in act 1 is technically not a spoiler since in books, the blurb encompasses act 1 even the beginning of act 2.

RebelVampire

Once again I'm popping in here to remind people this chat is primarily to talk about experiences as a reader, not as a creator. So let's not go too far into creator territory here.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

It's hard to say how I'd feel because I don't really see writers post, like "X dies in the end" or whatever. Like it's not that common an occurrence, at least for comics I follow. What is common in my experience is creators posting ship art for characters that haven't shown up yet (thus spoiling that these are characters who will show up at some point, and at least have some interaction with each other). And with regards to that... I dunno. Like, my mentality as a reader/watcher of things is that a character doesn't "exist" until I see them in the story. Like, if I see a character in an anime OP, I'll be like "oh that character looks cool, I can't wait until I meet them". That is, I don't consider myself as having "met" them yet - I need the story as context. (for the record, that's true for me as a creator too - i know plenty of creators figure out their OCs' personality & backstory first before figuring out what sort of story they work in, and that's valid, but I can't imagine working like that) So anyway, to me creators posting OC art before they appear in the story is less "oh, i've been spoiled on what these OCs will do" and more "oh, i can't wait to read the story that these characters are involved in"

[grimelords]

My March playlist is finished! This one is slightly more diverse than usual, swinging all the way from vibraphone jazz to Bhad Bhabie to black metal so I’ve taken the liberty of actually sequencing it properly for you. So if you’ve got 3 hours you can listen to this straight through and be taken for a hell of a ride. No matter what you like I’m sure you’ll find something in here that you love.

Tahiti - Milt Jackson: For an unknown reason I had a big jazz vibraphone phase this month and when you're talking jazz vibraphone you're talking the Wizard Of The Vibes himself, Milt Jackson. I feel insane even having an opinion on this but it's a shame that some of the best vibraphone performances were made at a time when the actual recording technology wasn't really there, they all have this very thin quality that I think misses a lot of the great character of the instrument.

Detour - Bill Le Sage: Like compare this from 1971 to Wizard Of The Vibes from 1952, the sounds is miles warmer and gives so much more of the full range and detail of the instrument. I also listened to this song five times in a row when I first heard it, the central refrain is just so fuckin good. Like I said, big vibes vibe and who knows why.

Blowin' The Blues Away - Buddy Rich And His Sextet: Superhuman playing aside, it's unbelievable how good these drums sound. The whole first minute just feels like a tour of each specific drum and I absolutely revel in it. I feel like flute and vibes is a relatively rare combo so it's extremely nice to hear Sam Most and Mike Manieri go ham in tandem.

Yama Yama - Yamasuki Singers: A friend sent me this song that he's had stuck in his head for ten years ever since it was in a beer ad from the days when beer ads were incredible strange for complicated legal reasons about not showing people enjoying the product or something https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORfkh0OojxY and this incredible song is apparently from a 1971 French concept album where a couple of guys wrote a bunch of psychedelic songs in Japanese for an unknown reason that later became a massive drum and bass breaks album, and one of the guys was Thomas Bangalter from Daft Punk's dad! Music is crazy.

Alfonso Muskedunder - Todd Terje: I'm starting a petition to get Todd Terje to write the soundtrack for the next Mario Kart. I absolutely love this song and this whole album because it's so joyful and strange and it just sounds like nothing else I've ever heard. He seem to truly operate in a world entirely of his own.

Pala - Roland Tings: I love this song. It's like he wrote it with normal sounds and then went back and replaced every instrument with the party version. This song hands you a coconut and says welcome to the island where bad vibes are punishable by firing squad.

Keygen 13 - Haze Edit - Dubmood: There's a fucking album of keygen music on spotify and it's absolutely great and so good that someone's doing the work to recognize the value of the music this extremely weird scene produced and preserve it. If you don't know, back in the day when you pirated photoshop or whatever, you would download a license key generator which was a program made by extreme nerds who had cracked the license key algorithm to give you a fake one, and for unknown reasons they would make the keygen program play original chiptune music that someone in their nerd crew would compose. Who knows why but god bless them.

My Moon My Man (Boys Noize Remix) - Feist: The very concept of a Boys Noize remix of My Moon My Man is hilarious and it turns out it sounds absolutely amazing as well. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Low Blows - Meg Mac: I had a big Meg Mac phase this month too, listened to her album a lot and it's extremely solid. Great timing too cause her new one comes out in a month or so too. I really am excited to hear her next album because she's so good but I've always got this feeling that she hasn't reached her full potential yet, she's only going to get a million times better in an album or two.

Patience - Tame Impala: I love that the cover of this single is a pic of congas because it feels like that's the central thesis here. Kevin Parker bought some congas and is making disco Tame Impala now and I really couldn't be happier about it.

Unconditional (feat. Kitten) - Touch Sensitive: I love a 90s throwback done with love. There's nothing cynical or ironic about this it's just fun as hell!

Last Hurrah - Bebe Rexha: Get a fucking load of this Bebe Rexha song that interpolates Buy U A Drank by T-Pain for the chorus! It's a testament to how good that song is that she's using the verse melody as the chorus. T-Pain will quite literally never get the respect he deserves. Also this song goes for 2.5 minutes. There's something happening where pop songwriting is getting more and more compact, completely trimming the fat and ornamentation and it's very interesting.

Hi Bich - Bad Bhabie: Also I'm fully six months late on Hi Bich but I'm of the opinion that it's extremely fucking good. A perfect little reaction gif of a song and it only goes for 1m45!

Friends - Flume: I'm doubling down on my thesis about emo rap from last month but this song literally sounds like a Flume remix of a Hawthorne Heights song. The whole melody of it, the overlapping yelled/clean vocals. The lyrics obviously. I don't know it's just very odd how close it is. A sort of emo trojan horse to trick people into thinking The Used are cool again. 

How To Build A Relationship (feat. JPEGMAFIA) - Flume: I've been meaning to check out JPEGMAFIA (AKA Buttermilk Jesus AKA DJ Half-Court Violation AKA Lil' World Cup) for a while but this is the song that convinced me. There's just so much to digest in this. Every line is gold and delivered with massive conviction even when he realises it's total nonsense like 'dont call me unless I gave you my number'.

Bells & Circles (feat. Iggy Pop) - Underworld: Underworld alive 2019?? I love this song becuase Iggy Pop has been riding a fine line between punk provocateur and old man yells at cloud for a while now and this song is the perfect mix of both. You can't hijack airplanes and redirect them to cuba anymore and as a result it's over for liberal democracies. Just yelling about air travel for six minutes and it's good.

Guns Blazing (Drums Of Death Pt. 1) - UNKLE: This beat is some of my favourite DJ Shadow work I think. The menacing organ bass throughout, and especially the distorted drum freakout near the end. It's just great all the way through.

Homo Deus IV - Deantoni Parks: Another Deantoni Parks track like I was raving about last month. This whole album is great and flows together as a single piece of work amazingly. I love the purposefully limited sample palette of each track forcing an evolving groove throughout. He absolutely wrings every bit of variation he can get out of every single sound he uses and once you get into the groove of it it's absolutely mind blowing.

Boredom - The Drones: I love that The Drones can write a song about joining ISIS that's also a lot of fun. Spelling out radicalization in a way anyone can understand and sympathise with and then switching it in the second verse to spell out how we got into this situation anyway. 

Loinclothing - Hunters And Collectors: I love how much this song sounds like a voodoo celebration in christian hell.

The Fun Machine Took A Shit And Died - Queens Of The Stone Age: There's a good bit on the live dvd they put out after Lullabies To Paralyze where they play this song and they say it was supposed to be on the album but somebody stole the master recordings from the studio, which is an incredible and brazen crime. Then when they put it out on Era Vulgaris as a bonus track Josh Homme said in an interview "The tapes got lost. Actually, they were just at another studio, but we falsely accused everyone in the world of theft" which is extremely funny. This is really one of their best songs and I sort of really with it had been on Lullabies because it fits perfectly between The Blood Is Love and Someone's In The Wolf type of vibes, I love how it just kind of keeps shifting ideas and riffs throughout. An absolute jam overflowing with ideas.

10AM Automatic - The Black Keys: This song is an all time great in my opinion. It's so straightforward and so effective. I wonder if we'll get a blues rock revival ever or if Jack White still being alive and bad is souring everyone on that idea. This song also has one of my favourite guitar sounds in history I think - the outrageously huge sounding solo that comes out of nowhere and swallows up the rest of the mix like a swirling black hole near the end.

Gamma Knife - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard: I've never gotten much into King Gizzard and because of their one million albums already it's hard to know where to start but I've been listening to Nonagon Infinity a bit and it's great, it's just good old fashioned 70s prog jams front to back.

Gina Works At Hearts - DZ Deathrays: I absolutely love this song and I absolutely love the second guitar sound in the chorus of this song that sounds like it's made out of thin steel.

Black Brick - Deafheaven: When I saw Deafheaven the other month I was right up the front and it was a life changingly great experience AND they played this new song live for the first time before it went up everywhere like three hours later which was very exciting to be given a sclusie like that. After they finished a guy behind me whispered to his friend "Slayer..." which was very funny to me.

Gemini - Elder: I found this band because one of my Spotify Daily Mixes was all stoner metal for a while, which is a good genre to see all lined up because it'll have Weedeater, Bongripper AND Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats right there in a row for you. Anyway this album is extremely good, the very best kind of stoner metal where it's groovy and fun and has big meaty riffs and ripping big solos and it's extremely easy to listen to three times in a row.

The Paradise Gallows - Inter Arma: My big obsession the past little while has been Inter Arma ever since Stereogum posted The Atavist's Meridian from their new album. It is just so fucking good and I can't believe I've never heard of them before. You know when you find out about an amazing band and then you find out they've been around for nearly ten years and you can't believe everyone in your life has been selfishly hiding them from you?

The Atavist's Meridian - Inter Arma: I think a big part of my enjoyment of this band has also been that I discovered them at the same time as I'm listening to an audiobook of the complete Conan The Barbarian omnibus so I'm very much in the brain space for music that sounds like it would be nice to swing an axe to.

Untoward Evocation - Impetuous Ritual: I love how halfway through this kind of just turns into a big swirling mist of dark sounds. It feels so formless and dark that it could just shake apart and dissipate at any moment and you'd look down to realise your skin is gone.

Eagle On A Pole - Conor Oberst: from Genius: 'In an interview with MTV news, Oberst stated “We were on the bus one day and a friend of ours that travels with us and works for the band kind of came out from the back of the bus and said that first line: ‘Saw an eagle on a pole… I think it was an eagle.’ And then this guy Simon Joyner, who is a great songwriter from Omaha and one of my great friends, he was on tour with us and sitting there and he was like, ‘You know, that’s a great name for a song.’ We kind of had a contest where he wrote a song with that first line, and [then] I did, and a couple of our other friends. We kind of all played them for each other. Simon’s is better than mine, but it is a good line to start a song.” Another version–Mystic Valley Band drummer Jason Boesel’s interpretation–is on the next album, Outer South.' The idea that such a good song has such a braindead origin only makes me love it more.

Lake Marie - John Prine: When I saw John Prine the other month he played this song that I had never heard before and I had to look it up after and now I'm completely obsessed with it. It feels like falling asleep during a movie and missing a critical plot point so the rest doesn't make sense when you wake up but is thrilling nonetheless. Also he absolutely screamed "SHADOWS!!!" when he played it which was a fucking cool thing to see a 72 year old man do.

Little White Dove - Jenny Lewis: The drums on this whole album are absolutely huge for some reason and I love it. My favourite recent sound is in the first chorus where there's a funny little pitch correction noise as she sings 'dove'. It's very strange and very very good.

Locked Up - The Ocean Party: I only found out The Ocean Party existed as they announced their farewell show this month which is a real shame but I'm glad I got to hear of them at all because they're very good. A very good song about that feeling we all know and love: driving for a long long time.

Plain & Sane & Simple Melody - Ted Lucas: I found out about this song from Emma Ruth Rundle's Amoeba Records video and she makes a good point about this whole album sounding like something's gone wrong and it got accidentally pitched down slightly in the recording process. It's unclear if that's what happened or that's just how he sounds but it adds a very softly spooky undercurrent to a very nice song.​ 

listen here

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[emybain]

After Archenemies 3/?

In honor of not getting on Tumblr tomorrow, here is part 3 of whatever this is to anyone who liked the first two parts. In all honesty idk what this part is, and it might be a little soon for what follows, but I wasn't planning on making this fic long anyways so...yeah. Here is part 1 and here is part 2 if you care. feel free to check out my other works also! enjoy! warning: I dont really edit these that much, so please be kind if you see errors! this is also shorter than what I usually write, just fyi.

Edit: heck i forgot to post the links to the previous parts...ill do it later lmao

Nova’s communicator band had gone off three times in the past hour. She had taken it off and set it on her mattress after it first went off. She didn't need the distraction, especially if that distraction was Adrian Everhart.

“Why are you still staring at that thing?” Nova looked up to see Honey in the doorway of their shared room, leaning against the cracked door frame. She was examining her polished nails. “If you look at it any longer, the filthy Renegade will be able to turn back to normal.”

Nova pushed back the chair she was sitting on in front of Honey’s vanity where Danna’s butterfly was currently trapped. It remained immobile for the most part. When Nova would start to worry if it had died, it would crawl around its little prison. “Just thinking.” About her uncle. About how they would be able to free him from the Renegades. About Nightmare. About a certain Renegade boy.

She closed her eyes, feeling a headache forming at the base of her neck.

“Well, you can think and answer your little Renegade buddies.” Honey gestured towards the communicator band resting on top of a jewelry box. “That ringing is driving me nuts. I can hear it all the way downstairs.”

Nova rolled her eyes, but picked up the band nonetheless. “It’s only gone off three times, Honey. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Me? Not dramatic?” Honey laughed, the sound like bells. “In your dreams, sweet girl.” She strutted into the room, reached over Nova, grabbed a magazine that was open on her vanity, and sauntered back out. Her perfume lingered, stronger than ever. Nova waved her hand in front of her face. Vintage fumes were the last thing she needed for her aching head.

Her communicator band went off again, and she heard Honey yelling from the first floor to shut it off before she did. Nova looked down at the device, scrolling through her notifications. The first one, nearly an hour ago, was from Adrian.

This is last minute, but we’re meeting in the HQ library in about 30 minutes, Let me know when you get here. It’s about Nightmare.

Nova froze. That couldn’t be good. This was it, she thought. They figured her out, and this was Adrian trying to lure her into a trap to arrest her.

Taking a deep breath, she checked the next message, which was sent twenty minutes after the first.

Nova? Are you busy? If not, please respond.

The third one was five minutes after the first.

Of course you’re busy. You would’ve responded by now. Ignore my last message.

The most recent text was sent two minutes ago.

Nova? We’re all here. You’re not dead or something, are you? Please tell me you aren’t because I would be really upset.

Nova snorted, shoulders relaxing in relief. She believed she was safe, for the time being. She bit her lip, thinking of a response.

Hey. Sorry. Turns out I’m pretty sick, and my uncle took anything that could distract me so I could rest.

Nova thought back to a few days before, when she had pretended to feel under the weather in order to have an excuse to leave the visit to Max. She couldn’t stand to be there any longer without being weighed down by the guilt. It was a believable lie. Besides, she didn’t have time to do detective work with Adrian on her secret identity, nor did she have the patience for it. The quicker she and the rest of the Anarchists figured out a way to free Ace, the sooner she could drop the ridiculous Renegade charade.

Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want me to come by later to give you some company?

The smile that grew on Nova’s face was inevitable, along with the giddy spark in her stomach. She suppressed it though, and denied his offer, pushing away all thoughts of being able to curl up against Adrian while they did something as mundane as watching a movie.

No, thank you though. My uncle is pretty strict whenever I get sick and doesn’t like visitors. Maybe another time?

She received a response almost immediately.

Definitely! I hope you get to feeling better, Nova.

It was so sweet. Nova’s heart ached. Even though she wasn’t sick, she had a feeling she would feel better soon anyways.    

Thanks, Adrian.

Nova sent the text. She debated on whether or not to send something else. Something came to mind, and she immediately cringed. Then Ace’s words floated through her mind. Earn his affection.

Well.

With a defeated sigh, Nova reluctantly sent a text with a heart.

Sweet rot, her IQ just dropped by 20.

Downstairs, Honey started singing. Nova suspected she was cleaning; she tended to sing when fixing up the old house. Nova groaned. Honey wasn’t a terrible singer, but it did not mix well with Nova’s pounding head. Maybe she was actually getting sick.

Standing from the vanity, Nova brushed off her leggings. The butterfly was moving in its prison, crawling lazily along the side of the glass. Nova bent down to eye level with it. She could’ve sworn it made eye contact with her.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” she murmured. “Maybe in a different reality we’d be friends.” She meant it, much as she hated to admit it to herself. Danna was a lot like her; it was a shame they were too alike, for that’s what got Danna trapped in the first place.

Nova sighed and rose back up. She took off her communicator band, then reached for her coat lying on the bed and headed downstairs. Honey’s trilling voice grew louder. She was singing some song about the beauty of the southern countryside.

Leroy was seated in the dimly lit kitchen, surrounded by lab equipment. Nova saw the samples of Agent N she had snatched in the past few weeks. He nodded in Nova’s direction as form of greeting, too engulfed in his work. As Nova suspected, Honey was cleaning. She was standing on a towel on top of the counter, wiping a wet rag across the higher cabinets.

Nova cleared her throat. “I’m going for a walk. You guys need anything while I’m out?”

They both chorused a “No.” Nova nodded.

“I’ll be back, then.”

“Hey, Adrian...um… come check this out,” Ruby whispered hesitantly from the computer across his. Adrien looked up from his communicator band, the faint trace of a smile on his lips from Nova’s last text. The heart was unexpected, and frankly, not like Nova at all, but it radiated Adrien’s body in warmth. The concentrated set in Ruby’s eyes made the smile fade, however.

They were in the Renegade library and archives, doing research on Nightmare. Adrian had about five open tabs about her most recent sightings and activity. One of the tabs was an article discussing the identity of the Anarchist, but the information was of no use to Adrian.

He got out of his chair and walked around the table to stand behind Ruby. Next to her, Oscar leaned over, craning his neck to see the screen. There was an unopened file in front of Ruby.

“So I was thinking about what you told us, about Nightmare being Ace Anarchy’s niece?” Adrian nodded, and Ruby continued. “Well, his last name is Artino, correct?” Adrian nodded again. “I looked up the name, and well, I guess you should see for yourself.” She clicked on the file. It was a report from about ten years ago filed by his own dad, Hugh Everhart.

Four people found dead. David Artino: age 31. Tala Artino: age 30. Evie Artino: age 11 months. One unnamed man: age unknown. Suspected Anarchist or Roach affiliation.

Forensics confirm all deaths were a result of direct trauma from bullet wounds, without prodigy interference. Prints found on the gun matched both those of the unnamed man and also those of Alec Artino (alias: Ace Anarchy).

There is reason to suspect the deaths of the three family members were done as a killing for hire. The motive for the homicide remain under investigation. See the full report as filed by Hugh Everhart (Captain Chromium) here.

Additional notes: The eldest child, a six year old girl, was not found at the scene. Neighbors have reported no knowledge of her whereabouts. A report has been made to the Renegades missing persons unit.

Oscar whistled lowly. Ruby had highlighted the last paragraph. She was watching the two boys, lips pursed. Adrian read the report, over and over again. Something about it wasn’t right.

“Was the girl ever found?” Oscar asked. Ruby answered his question by opening another file. This one was a missing persons form, dated ten years ago. 

Name: Nova Jean Artino

Age: Six (6) years old

Height: Unknown

Weight: Unknown

Description: Black hair, blue eyes, parents were Italian and Filipino.

Status: Not found

If any information is known, contact the Renegades Missing Persons Unit.

Below the information was a fuzzy picture of a girl, taken by an outdated camera probably. She grinned at the person behind the camera, a wide gap below her upper lip where two front teeth should have been. In her arms was a newborn baby, fast asleep in her sister’s arms. Adrian let out a small gasp. He took the mouse from Ruby and zoomed in on the girl’s face. Her features were chubby, but the hard set of her jaw was unmistakable.

“Great skies,” Oscar breathed. “That’s not...it can’t be..”

“It is,” Ruby confirmed, disbelief in her voice. “That’s our Nova.”

[devilfic]

Hey its me again!!! I read your dm but for some reason i cant reply?? Like, i wrote and clicked the send button but my message just... disappeared??? Tumblr is so weird so uhhh im just gonna reply through here, if you dont mind!!!

First of all, you're welcome!!! Like i said in my previous ask, i have a very specific taste in fanfics so when i finally do find the stuff i like (which is rare), i always try to express how much i love it!! Because im just so thankful to have it!!! Also because i cant keep this giddy feeling to myself!!! Other than that, im also aware of how much these comments affect writers so yeah, its a win-win situation!!!

Anyway, you've been writing for 13 years?!?!?!?! Thats.... thats a really long time... no wonder you're so great!!! You've written for longer than my nephew has been living lol!!

Oh and im not sure if you've seen that i love that riddler fic too, but i just wanna say again that its just SO GOOD. Here's some of my fav parts that i forgot to put in my reblog tag!!

[You’ve acquired a shadow. He had stomped out the one you were born with and fit himself into its place.]

[You imagined what it would have been like to be Commissioner Savage in that rat trap, the agony of a thousand teeth tearing into the veins of your throat, all while this voice read you your sins.]

[“Have you given up on salvation already, detective? And after all our progress! Why, it’d be a shame if you accepted defeat so soon.” 

The mocking lilt to his voice does irk you a bit. “What do you expect me to do, exactly?”

“Lie.”

“He’s too smart for that.”

“Lie better. Isn’t that what your precious Lieutenant taught you to do before I dropped him in the harbor?”]

I just love how in the movie, the riddler's whole deal is like 'no more lies' but then in your fic he encourages reader to lie so like hfdsjgfsjh idk my brain loves it a lot!!! I thought eddie munson is the only one that can be on my mind right now, but you brought back my feelings for riddler and now i just dont know what to do with myself.... ugh... sorry this ask is getting very long... well then, here's an actual question: what is your process of writing?? like how does it usually go?? okay thats it, love you!!!

OOPS that’s my bad. I had dms turned off for blogs I don’t follow but I thought that got negated if I messaged the other blog first, sorry!! and that’s so very sweet of you!! I know some readers are a bit shy about commenting but yeah, it’s great to see. also oh boy, that makes me feel so old LMAO but yeah, it’s been quite a while. thank you ;-;

ALSO YES!! I’m happy you picked up on the way he switched up about lies. I really liked the idea of edward trying to do things differently, realizing he cannot necessarily purge the evil in gotham, but he can try to use it for his own benefit. he’s got this weird obsession with the reader’s guilt and sees himself as less of a executioner and more of a savior this time around. if I were to continue it, I probably would have talked more about the lore behind it but I had the idea that edward uses the reader as his sword in a way? and tries to prove to them that he’s right about the way he goes about punishing people.

and that’s a good question 🤔 I’ve had a habit of writing my stories chronologically. I start with an idea, then I try to find a good beginning and end, and then feel out if I can write a good middle. I never do outlines unless I have a lot of ideas or I’m planning on writing more parts.

then I just sit down and literally write everything from the title to the ending in order akdhsks (of course editing comes into play later, and I end up changing things, but I like being able to follow the story from start to finish). I’ve never been a… scene by scene person sndhsjs

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 12: Two Future Visits???

Also on ao3

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AA: dave!!! AA: youll never guess what just happened!!!

TG: yo ara lay it on me TG: if you say ill never guess then i guess ill never guess but youve piqued my curiosity here and ive absolutely got to know what you want to tell me TG: although presumably youre going to tell me regardless of whether or not i actually guess

AA: you would be correct

TG: ara im dying TG: i need to know this sweet ass thing that just happened TG: i might die if i dont find out soon TG: there i go TG: on my deathbed TG: struggling for breath and doing my goddamn best to make words come out of my mouth TG: and you of all people know exactly how much i talk TG: holy shit that last moment at my death i can barely speak TG: but i manage it just enough to say my last words TG: put a whoopie cushion on dirks seat at my funeral TG: everyones in tears TG: the most perfect last words

AA: alright! ill tell you!!! AA: sollux proposed to me!!!

TG: holy shit!!! TG: thats fantastic!!!! TG: what do people do when someone proposes TG: do we celebrate TG: should we celebrate TG: that certainly seems like something worth celebrating TG: should we have a party TG: just TG: holy fuck TG: when did he propose how did he propose TG: lay all the deets on me

AA: so remember when i told you he had something he was working on that he couldnt show me because it was a surprise for me AA: it turns out that it was a video game AA: it was really cute and sweet and it was a game about finding fossils AA: it was at the very end when the fossils spelled out will you marry me AA: and thats how sollux proposed to me!

TG: thats absolutely adorable oh my god TG: i dont think i can handle this cuteness TG: satisfaction may have brought me back the the cuteness killed me again

AA: dave! AA: you cant die yet!

TG: well i wasnt planning on dying quite yet because i still have shit to do TG: and if i died i would start wandering the world as a ghost because i had unfinished business TG: youll have to burn my body TG: or put it in a museum TG: that would be kick ass TG: thats where i want my bones to be when i die TG: ill make a museum and then all the little kids will be able to see the creators bones scattered about in a glass case TG: it will even have my shades on my skull TG: and the kids will go TG: woah thats one sick ass skull what a cool dude

AA: the coolest AA: but i wanted to tell you that im coming into town for the wedding! AA: im going to take some time off of work so that i can have a proper wedding with all my friends and stuff

TG: !!!! TG: holy shit!!!!! TG: what are we going to die i have no idea TG: i just i havent seen you in person in so fucking long TG: oh my god TG: aradia im so excited holy shit!!!!

AA: im also very excited!!! AA: however the wedding is going to take a while to plan and i will still be working during that time so im not coming for a few months AA: i just wanted to tell you that i will be there eventually

TG: i honestly cant wait

AA: i cant wait either AA: i do have to go now AA: afterall my work is never done AA: i will troll you when i have some free time <>

TG: sounds great <>

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You wonder who you gush to first about the news.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose rose rose rose rose rose rose TG: guess what

TT: Did you perhaps learn how to use punctuation?

TG: no and your girlfriend didnt either

TT: That’s cold, Dave. That’s really cold. TT: But, please, do tell this secret that you have been withholding from me for so long.

TG: aras gettin married to sollux!!!! TG: isnt that fucking some fucking fantastic shit TG: like holy shit my moirail is getting married

TT: Your moirail?

TG: its a recent development TG: anyway shes getting married and shes coming to town in a few months and rose TG: rose TG: im so fucking excited rose like holy shit TG: i havent seen ara in ages and now shes getting married TG: im just so fucking happy for her

TT: I’m happy for her as well. TT: Please, tell her congratulations for me. TT: Who’s she getting married to?

TG: shes getting married to her boyfriend of like five years i think TG: i know theyve been dating for a while but i dont really know exactly how long who knows TG: but his name is sollux and i dont really know much about him outside what aras told me but he seems like a pretty cool dude TG: and i trust her judgement anyways

TT: Be sure to give her my congratulations.

TG: ill be sure to do that TG: now if youll excuse me im gonna tell literally everyone about this

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade youll never guess

GG: im going to take a wild guess and say that someones getting married!

TG: holy shit i guess you did guess TG: never mind then

GG: no! GG: dont go! GG: i dont know the details yet!

TG: well if you insist TG: shes getting married to sollux who ive never actually met but he seems like a pretty cool dude from what ive heard from him TG: and shes coming to town in the next few months after planning the wedding and finishing up the job she has right now TG: and so well get to see her!!!! TG: jade ill get to see aradia!!! TG: holy shit you might actually become friends!!!

GG: !!!! GG: i cant wait!!!!!!

TG: anyway ive got to relay the news to john now TG: hes the last to know

GG: i wont spoil the surprise for him GG: but if you wait to too long rose might!

TG: oh shit youre absolutely right TG: i gots to go TG: be sure to tell me about those cars youre working on later k cause they seem cool as shit

GG: will do!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: john TG: hey there johnny boy

EB: i’ll listen to whatever you have to say, dave, but you have to promise to never call me “johnny boy” ever again.

TG: alright alright i promise TG: but i also promise that what im going to tell you is going to blow your fucking mind

EB: try me.

TG: aras getting married!!!

EB: what! EB: holy shit, dude! EB: god, i haven’t even talked to her in such a long time. EB: and now i’m hearing that she’s getting married? EB: just, wow.

TG: yeah i know right TG: shits groovy

EB: did you really just use the word “groovy” in a completely unironic context, dave?

TG: yes TG: ive moved passed liking things ironically egbert TG: you got to enjoy things as they come and let no one shame you for liking them

EB: that’s some solid advice, my dude

TG: anytime

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Welp, you’ve messaged your main best friends about the wedding, and you’ve mostly got the excitement out of your system, at least until Aradia gives you more details about the planning of her wedding, and you're also going to assume that Aradia is going to message her other friends about the wedding.

Might as well do some work, and, by that, you mean it’s time to review some stuff that you may or may not have been procrastinating reviewing. But it’s time to take action! Make yourself a better person and stuff like that. One destruction of the thing you’re supposed to be doing at a time.

“Now, everyone wants to know how well these nail polishes work, and I am clearly the person to go to if you want to know about nail polishes because I paint my nails all the time, which you would see if you’ve watched my other videos.”

You make a mental note to put photos of your clearly not painted nails over the screen during the editing process.

You first start out doing what you always do in your videos, which is describe the object you’re reviewing in great detail.

“Okay, so this nail polish is kind of liquidy, like all nail polishes I’ve seen are, and this one that I’m holding is a blue one. Like, a blue that’s one of the prettiest blues you’ve ever seen, like the feeling when it’s slightly rainy outside, and you’ve got all your work done, so you’re just sitting there, listening to the soft rain, holding your favorite warm beverage and a feeling of calm washes over you, and everything is okay. You know. Like that.”

You turn the nail polish bottle around to see what else you could describe.

“There also seems to be bits of glitter hanging around in there. They look silvery like the sound of rain. Or the sound of a coin clanking against the ground. Mmmm, no, that would be a gold color, so let’s stick with the sound of rain.”

You then describe the bottle the nail polish is in, including what the font looks like and the color of the lid (white).

“I do have these other colors that came in the set, so I have a total of five. One for each finger. All of them have the same silver glitter as the blue one so that you know that they are from the same set or brand or whatever.

“The other colors are green, red, pink, and orange. Honestly, they could have gone for the complete rainbow, but they didn’t because they’re cowards. Where’s my yellow? My purple? With the colors they gave me, I can’t do the full gay rainbow. How are people supposed to know how bi I am without purple?

“Anyway, let’s get to describing each of these colors. This green- like a grassy meadow. It’s the smell of flowers, but then you sneeze because you’re allergic to pollen.” You pick up the green polish and hold it up so the viewers could see it. Then you put down the green polish to pick up the red one.

“The red is firey, and it’s probably my favorite out of these colors. It looks like someone shouting encouraging words at you but in an aggressive way, so you’re not really sure if they’re insulting you or not. Spoilers, they’re insulting you while telling you how much they love you because they can’t let anybody know they’re emotionally vulnerable.”

You then pick up the pink nail polish.

“And the pink- prettiest fucking pink you’ll ever see. Like a song that makes your heart thump and burn from thinking about the one you love, you know? Kind of also makes me think of cookies. Like, sugar cookies, especially the ones shaped like hearts. It’s a very lovey-dovey sort of color.”

And then, at long last, you pick up the orange polish and gazed at it.

“And, finally, we have this orange polish. Now, it looks exactly like an orange smells like. Or like salty orange juice. Why would you put salt in your orange juice? A prank? That’s the only conceivable reason I can think of, but I’m not here to judge people for their eating or drinking habits. But, now that we’ve looked carefully at all these polishes, it’s time to actually get to the painting part.”

You open the orange polish because you were already holding it, and you examine the consistency of the nail polish.

“Yep, that’s nail polish alright. Let’s put that shit on our nails and see what happens.”

You proceed to messily paint your nails. There’s nail polish everywhere. You somehow get nail polish on your face. You have no idea what happened. You look later- there’s nail polish on your foot. You don’t know how it got there.

You do, in fact, manage to paint all your nails, however messy the end result ended up being, so you are proud of yourself for managing to do that much.

After recording the video and making sure you actually recorded all that, you uploaded the footage and decided to edit it later.

After an hour or so of scrolling through mindless memes, you get a message on pesterchum.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: guess who the FUCK is comign to town next week TG: *coming TG: that’s right TG: me TG: ur fav sis

TG: oh shit this is fantastic TG: dont tell rose that youre my favorite sister though TG: i would never hear the end of it

TG: ur secret is safe with me TG: *wonk* TG: anyway TG: i was just here to tell you that. TG: dont be a stranger

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Holy fucking shit. You can’t believe you got news of some of your favorite people coming to visit in the same day. Granted, they weren’t arriving in the same time period, but still.

You can’t believe Roxy is coming next week!! You are so ready to spend time with Roxy. It’s going to be a blast.

[botanistlester]

Sweet Pea (15/34)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath. Warnings: Abusive relationship, violence A/N: warnings for this chapter are violence (a hole punched in the wall), slut shaming, verbal abuse, manipulation. this chapter went down a bit differently than it happened irl, but i did base this off of a real experience id learned about from a friend. The way this part of my story went down involved self harm and multiple people telling me to kill myself, and i really did not want to put that sort of thing into this fic because i dont think i could write about that in detail tbh. thanks to @snowbunnylester for editing this for me! The lyrics at the beginning of this fic are from the song The Summer by Citizen!

I have started a patreon account for those of you who would like to support me and my writing endeavors! You can find my patreon account here, and also find more information about perks of this here!

Previous | Masterlist

Read it on AO3 Read it on Wattpad

-

Chapter Fifteen

I watched you burn and I felt it. You're spitting words like you're someone else. And I watched you run, I was screaming and following you down.

-

“It’s been four days,” Nico told Phil, making him cringe and gnaw harshly at his lip.

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. He swallowed, tried again. “It has.” That wasn’t what he’d wanted to say at all. What he’d meant to ask was if Nico had found someone else in the meantime, if he’d found someone who was actually worth his while. If he’d found someone better.

He didn’t want Nico to have found someone better. He wanted Nico to love him and only him. He wanted to be Nico’s one and only, but- wait. Didn’t Phil want him to leave? Didn’t he want Nico to pack his shit up and never look at him again? There was a bruise on Phil’s cheek and a dull ache in Phil’s chest, and shit, what should he do? What should he do? What could anyone do in this sort of situation?

Nico let out a chuckle of disbelief, shaking his head. He sounded so mad at Phil, so disappointed, that Phil felt nausea raise in his throat once more. “I have to admit, I didn’t exactly think you’d find someone else so quickly. Or that you’d… change your appearance.” Nico grimaced at this, and Phil grimaced too. He didn’t think Nico had noticed his tongue piercing yet, but clearly, the nose ring had been enough.

“Dan is just a friend,” Phil told him. “I couldn’t replace you that quickly.” Phil froze, realising how that sounded. It sounded as though Phil had decided to break up with Nico, and that wasn’t what he’d wanted to come across as. He still was unsure of what he wanted, but he knew that he could never truly replace Nico. With anyone.

For a split second, Nico went completely silent. Phil held his breath, wishing more than anything in the world that he could just disappear. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He didn’t think he could physically handle this.

The second of silence was gone before Phil could blink, and then, it happened in a flash.

Nico had been standing completely still, but in the next moment, there was a fist colliding into Phil’s wall, leaving a giant hole in it’s wake.

“Wha-?!” Phil exclaimed, jerking violently backwards in fright, but also distracted by the fact that he now had to pay for that hole.

Nico silenced him by grabbing his jaw with that same hand that had just breached the drywall. Phil froze at the touch, his body on fire, confused and twisting this way and that. What did he want? What did he want?

Nico lifted Phil’s head until their gazes were connected and Nico’s green stare was burning a hole through Phil’s head. Phil felt more nausea raise in his throat, his stomach twist in agonizing pain. “I’m not a fucking idiot, sweet pea.”

That nickname. Was it even Phil’s anymore? Did he deserve such a nickname after everything he’d done to their relationship? After he’d lied and snuck around and bailed on the only person who’d truly loved and cared for him? After he’d hurt Nico in the one way he’d always promised he never would, by leaving him?

He wasn’t so sure anymore.

“I swear,” Phil whimpered, quivering in Nico’s grasp. His jaw was hurting slightly where Nico was gripping him, but it was nothing in relation to the pain he had felt in his chest since less than a week ago. He didn’t know if Dan had heard the way Nico had punched the wall, but judging by the way his bedroom door stayed firmly shut, he assumed that Dan hadn’t heard. “I swear I didn’t find anyone else. I couldn’t. Not when you mean so much to me.”

“Then how do you explain your piercings, hmm?” Nico hummed, and Phil had no explanation for that. In Nico’s eyes, tongue piercings were for sluts, and he had just gotten one out of spite. So what else could that make him other than a huge whore? “I thought you were better than everyone, sweet pea. But I guess I was wrong again.”

Phil inhaled sharply and flinched. He tried to control his emotions, to stand up for himself, but it was hard. He could feel himself crumbling underneath the accusations, underneath the mere proximity of Nico’s body to his own. He was sinking into a dark abyss, one that he didn’t know how to dig himself out of. “I- I am better than everyone,” Phil gasped out. “Ple- please don’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. I don’t…” his eyes welled up with tears. What was he saying? “I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

Nico leaned a bit closer so that Phil could feel his breath fanning across his face. His lips were so close that Phil could probably press his own against them it he wanted to, but he held himself back because he wasn’t sure he was allowed. Nico’s eyes were green fire when he replied. “It’s already been three days, though. Shame. I was ready to take you back, but you didn’t want me.”

“I do!” Phil said desperately, even though his brain was screaming at him to run away and never look back. “I do want you! Please, Nico. Please don’t leave me!” He was begging now, panicking. How would he be able to survive without Nico? Nico was the only person who would love him, the only person who made him happy.

These past four days had shown Phil that he couldn’t live without him.

“Prove it, then,” Nico told him. “Take out those dumb piercings and stop behaving like a slut. Stop talking to Dan. I want you to keep your eyes on me and only me.”

Phil was nodding along with every word, his eyes tracing the way Nico’s mouth shaped each sentence. His body was thrumming with nerves and adrenaline. He was high on it, his head all over the place. Truth be told, he didn’t know exactly why he had been considering leaving Nico in the first place. “Anything for you,” Phil told him, and Nico smiled.

“Good boy.”

Just then, Nico pressed his lips against Phil. His lips were rough and chapped, more so than Phil could remember. At first, he sank into it, relieved that he could have this once more after those four long days without - it was familiar and felt a little bit like home - but Nico was being harsh. He bit and pulled and tugged at Phil’s new piercing hard enough to make it bleed. Phil cried out a little bit, and all he could taste was blood as Nico tried to deepen the kiss. Suddenly, it wasn’t so nice anymore. The pain cleared his head a little bit.

His lips went numb.

His brain went into overdrive.

There was a hole in the wall. There was a healing bruise on his cheek. His friend was in the other room, worried for his safety. He was sobbing into the kiss, his tears staining his cheeks. The kiss tasted of tears and blood, when it should honestly be the happiest moment of his life.

Suddenly, Phil couldn’t feel a goddamned thing anymore.

Phil pushed Nico off of him with all of his strength without thinking, ignoring the fact that Nico had been biting him so harshly his lip actually tore as well. “Get the fuck off of me,” he said lowly.

“Phil, what the fuck?” Nico exclaimed, his voice raising an octave or two. His eyes were wild, angry, confused… scared.

In that moment, Phil didn’t give two shits about anything. He couldn’t feel anymore, couldn’t feel the blood dripping from his lip, couldn’t feel the usual tingles from the close proximity to Nico. All he could feel was emptiness, a numbness that wouldn’t seem to disperse no matter how hard he tried.

“Don’t touch me,” Phil ordered Nico, adrenaline rushing through his bones. He could feel a sob rising in his chest but he tried to hold it back, tried to stay strong for once. He couldn’t live like this. He shouldn’t have to live like this. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Nico sneered at him, and Phil dodged it just in time before Nico could grab at him again. He kept his gaze on everything but Nico. The wall, the floor, the ceiling. Anywhere but the man who had smashed his heart into pieces. “Make up your mind, sweet pea,” Nico growled, and his voice wasn’t warm at all anymore. Had it ever been? “You either want me, or you don’t. Is it really that hard of a decision?”

“Yes!” Phil said, and the sob escaped from his throat. He started backing away, shaking his head, although he didn’t know why. “Just- just stay away from me.”

“So what, then? You’re having trouble deciding if you want me ,but you want me to stay away from you? Is that how that works? You don’t make any fucking sense, sweet pea.”

Each time Nico used the nickname, Phil felt a little part of him shrivel up and die. He was hyperventilating at this point, unable to capture his breath or help himself try to gain some strength again. For such a long time, he had felt as though that nickname was a part of him. It used to make him feel whole, feel wanted. Now, it felt like a taunt. It felt like chains wrapping around his ankles, forcing him to submit, forcing him to lose his independence all over again. He didn’t want this. He felt nauseous and he didn’t want this anymore.

But he was scared. He was so scared that he couldn’t move. Nico’s gaze was terrifying, cold, almost like he didn’t recognise who Phil was at all. Instead, Phil was suddenly a piece of food that Nico had dropped and didn’t want anymore. He was used and impure and he felt so dirty, like he needed another hour long shower where his skin burned off and blistered under the heat.

He didn’t want this anymore.

He steeled himself, tried to swallow down the bile in his throat, tried to look into Nico’s eyes and not waver under the glare. He took a breath.

“I don’t want this anymore,” he said as firmly as he could, even though his voice was wobbling and he was terrified. “I’m keeping the piercings. I’m going to keep being Dan’s friend. You don’t own me anymore.”

For a moment, the room was completely silent. For a moment, Phil actually thought that Nico was going to leave. For a moment, it didn’t really hit Phil that the silence might just be that he’d pissed Nico off even more, but then, Nico spoke up through gritted teeth, his hands balled into fists, and Phil realised that maybe he’d acted a bit fucking stupid.

“You… fucking slut,” Nico growled, and he raised his fist in the air, making Phil cower into the wall behind him. He was going to get hit again, and he braced himself for the flash of pain.

It didn’t come.

Instead, Nico’s fist went through the wall again and Phil heard the door to the other room open.

“You worthless piece of shit. Do you think you’re better than me? Do you think you can just leave me like I’m nothing? After everything you’ve done to me? After everything I’ve done for you?” He pulled his fist back again and slammed it into the wall again, right next to Phil’s head.

“Stop!” Phil gasped out, ducking out of the way and trying to run around Nico, but Nico grabbed his arm, held him in place, and now Phil was really terrified. What was he going to do to him? What should Phil even expect when his perception of Nico had so drastically changed in only a few short weeks?

In that next moment, Phil thought he was going to get hit. He braced for the feeling of Nico’s fist in his face, of his hands around his neck, suffocating him the way he’d done with the pillow so long ago, when he’d pressed the sharp edge of the knife to his throat, but nothing came. Instead, Nico was being roughly shoved away from him, pushed so hard that he stumbled backwards and nearly fell flat on his face. Phil turned his head, and gaped at Dan who’d suddenly appeared in front of him, a wall between Phil and the man who was threatening him. Phil had always thought Nico was so big despite his stature, but now, next to Dan’s intimidating aura, he was small, so miniscule that Phil felt like he had to squint to see him.

“If you dare lay a hand on him, I will fucking kill you,” Dan growled, and never before had Phil found Dan actually scary before, but today all of Phil’s previous perceptions were being turned on their head and Phil found himself trying to hide the way he flinched at the dangerous tone to Dan’s voice, his blood roaring in his ears.

In only a millisecond, Nico was standing tall once more, squaring his shoulders as if he could make Dan back down. For a moment, they were the same height and Phil was just an ant on the ground.

“Oh really?” Nico laughed harshly. “I’d like to see you do anything to me. You mean nothing to me and I could easily crush you in my palm.”

“If that’s what it takes to keep Phil safe, then I’ll take you up on that offer,” Dan told him sincerely, never losing the threatening tone. He didn’t move from where he was standing strategically in front of Phil, his arms crossed over his chest, keeping a space between Nico and Phil.

Once again, Phil was reminded of how lucky he was to have Dan as a friend.

Phil watched as Nico’s hands turned to fists at his sides, his mouth curling into an angry grimace, darker and more terrifying than Phil had ever seen before. He watched as Nico took a step forward, and his mind flashed to the stories Nico had told him about his father. For a moment, just one moment, Phil felt bad for Nico, and then the feeling was gone and Phil felt his heart clench in fear for what was about to happen to him and Dan.

That’s when the sound of sirens exploded throughout the flat. Normally, Phil wouldn’t think anything of it, except now, there were flashing lights reflecting in his flat, on the furniture, the ceiling, and they weren’t going away.

Phil shot Dan a confused glance, and Dan shot Phil a shrug and a wide-eyed glance right back.

“Did you call the fucking cops?” Nico asked, faltering in his movements towards Dan, lowering his fists, and instead clenching his hands tight at his sides. Phil thought he was probably digging his fingernails into his palm.

His glare was on Dan, accusing him of something Phil wasn’t entirely sure of himself.

Dan shook his head. “No, but I fucking should have.”

An urgent knock came at the door, followed by a man shouting to open up, that it was the police, and that he’d break the door down if he had to. Nico kept his glare on Dan and Phil as he slowly backed away, inching his way towards the door, trying to reach it before either Dan or Phil could react, could say anything, or get it for him. Dan glared right back, and Phil looked at the floor, shaking like a leaf, and terrified of what was going to happen next.

He heard Nico open the door.

“What can I help you with?” he asked.

Phil glanced up briefly to see that he had wedged himself between the door and the frame so that the cops couldn’t see inside. Phil didn’t know why he’d done that. Didn’t that make him even more suspicious?

“We’ve gotten complaints about loud banging noises and screaming coming from inside. Is everything alright in here?”

“Everything is just fine, no need to worry,” Nico said sweetly.

The blatant lie made Dan laugh, and Phil’s head shot up so that he could give Dan a wide eyed stare, begging him not to do anything drastic. Everything was just fine. Phil didn’t even know why someone had called the cops. Didn’t they know nothing was wrong? Phil could handle this. They could handle this. They didn’t need the police to get involved. Nico wasn’t like his father. There was nothing dangerous going on… right?

But Dan spoke up anyways, taking a deep breath, and then shouting, “Help us, please! He’s trying to hurt us!” before Phil could do anything to stop him.

“Dan!” Phil hissed, but he stayed rooted to the spot, terrified, unable to speak up any louder and try to defend the man he’d once professed to love, the man he still loved. Didn’t he? He could feel Nico’s fury wafting off of him in waves, could feel the weight of his glare on his skin, and Phil wanted nothing more than to melt into the floorboards.

“Who was that?” the police officer asked.

Nico’s head snapped back around to the police officer on the other side of the door, and Phil watched as he worked a pleasant expression on his face and laughed so easily that Phil suddenly wondered if everything about Nico was a complete and utter lie.

“Nothing, officer. Just my mates having a good laugh,” he explained.

But Dan wasn’t having that. Phil’s eyes darted back and forth from Dan to Nico and back to Dan, watching as Nico tried to close the door more tightly against himself, as Dan’s face went a deep, angry shade of red, and then Dan was calling out all over again.

“He’s lying! Please! Help us, he threatened to kill us!”

There was a brief scuffle at the door, a muffled, “Step aside, son,” and the loud sound of the door banging open, but Phil had long since closed his eyes. His heart was in his throat, and all he could think was, if Nico hadn’t been planning on killing them before, he sure as hell was now.

Would he take the police officer down with him? Would they all be slaughtered? Some deep, dark place inside of Phil laughed and thought good, I don’t want to live without Nico anymore.

But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, there was the sound of static from a radio, the gentle touch of Dan’s hand on Phil’s arm, the voice of a confused police officer asking for back up, the movement of extra feet and boots on the floor. Phil’s eyes were squeezed shut in terror, and before he could even think it through of what it would look like, he was slamming his hands over his ears and cowering in on himself, shaking his head as tears started to run warm down his cheeks.

Everything was happening too fast. Everything was moving too quick. Phil could hear his head screaming. There was mutters of holes in the drywall, bruising on cheeks, blood dripping from lips, and then Nico was being read his rights. Phil opened his eyes just in time to see Nico being cuffed, and more police officers trailing into Phil’s apartment with steady footsteps and glares as they took a look around.

As Nico was being turned and led away, Nico turned to give Phil a nasty look. Phil watched in horror as Nico suddenly got a twisted smile on his face, how he let out a loud, booming laugh.

“I didn’t need you anyway, sweet pea,” Nico told him, and he was smiling despite the way he had to twist his body to turn and look at Phil. “Chandler was a much better fuck than you ever were.”

In just a single sentence, Phil felt himself break. He tore his eyes away from Nico and tried to calm the way his heart felt as though it were going to collapse. Dan came to sit beside him, putting a hand on his back and rubbing it soothingly, but it didn’t do anything for Phil. He couldn’t seem to wrap his head around what he had heard, what Nico had just disclosed.

Suddenly, everything made sense.

The text messaging. The way Nico wouldn’t hold his hand in public. Chandler’s jealousy. Sweet pea.

Phil was a fucking idiot, and maybe he did deserve what had happened to him after all.

One of the other officers came over to talk to Dan and Phil while they were getting Nico situated, and it was Dan who gave the statement, talking about how he had come out of the room to the sound of a loud banging noise, only to find Nico with his fist raised and his hand wrapped firmly around Phil’s arm to keep him in place. The man asked Phil for his statement, but Phil was too shocked, too upset to speak, so they told him that he would be able to do it a little bit later if he wanted to. The police officer's voice was soft and gentle, and he got down on one knee to tell Phil that he was not alone, that he could testify if he wanted to, that Nico wouldn’t ever be able to touch him again if he said so, but Phil was hardly listening. He didn’t know why the police officer was speaking to him like that; Nico had done nothing wrong, other than break Phil’s heart.

Phil just wanted to sleep. He was exhausted, felt as though the energy had completely drained from his body. He felt numb. His lips were still tingling from where Nico had kissed him, and he could still feel his tears dripping down his cheeks, but he felt as though he were a ghost, watching from outside his body as the police jotted down notes and Dan ran his mouth about Phil’s apparently unhealthy relationship.

He mentioned the word abuse, and Phil ended up puking on the floor.

Things happened. Phil was laid down on the couch by some paramedics, checked for bruises, checked for any sign of physical harm. They didn’t really find much. Just swollen eyes from crying and a faded bruise on his cheek. They didn’t find the mental scars that had taken over his brain and decorated his ribcage. He decided then that emotional pain was worse than the physical.

You could always have doctors patch up the bruises and the cuts, but no doctor would be able to patch up the painful memories that haunted Phil everywhere he went.

Chapter Sixteen

[comicteaparty]

May 3rd, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 3rd, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Suriska by Claire Burn.

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✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Suriska by Claire Burn~! (http://suriskacomic.com/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I really liked Freyja checking the stove multiple times, I laughed out loud since it's something I've always done when leaving the house.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes that was a moment i connected with too. not that ive really checked the stove but ive had to deal with other similar issues of checking things a dozen times. im glad for the timing of that too cause it really helped explained why corin going missing got to her so much

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hello there! I’ll be there in a bit, currently AFK for the time being!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

kay~!

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I've really enjoyed learning more about Freya as a character too, I feel like there's a lot of depth beneath her that we're just starting to uncover

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. there are a lot of interesting elements to her character. mostly because i hmm why shes in the town. like corin is understandable because corin's anxiety is a bit more debilitating. whereas freya seems completely functional and yet somehow stuck

i think my favorite scene is less a scene is the one where freya busts into johann's place and just doesnt say anything. shows him the picture and hes like "well shit ive been found out."

🌟Draco Plato🌟

OH! I liked that too, it also added more layers to the story. And yeah, overall I find Corin a simpler character since it's pretty clear why he is the way he is and his debilitating anxiety, etc

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

another scene i like for its effect on the story itself is the story about the origin of the snow. i really liked that it gave the town a sort of history, even if it might be a fictional and fantastical one XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Yeah I did think that was really good for expanding the lore of the story~!

wishjacked

I have a really strong love/hate relationship with the scene where the old man at the train station recognizes Corin and asks about his parents. It's really funny in the most painful way imaginable

And I like Freya a lot!! I'm interested to see where her character goes-- I think there are a lot of hints that she's not as functional as she appears at first, and I'm interested to see where that goes haha

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Oh same!!

Omg that scene at the train station, that old man was ridiculously awful in his questions, from bad to worse

felt so bad for Corin

wishjacked

Like the oven thing was funny, but weirdly drawn out compared to a lot of other jokes, and she also has that scene in the bathroom where she has this weird, disjointed cause-and-effect logic that because she left the soap out, it caused something totally unrelated and bad to happen. I've wondered if those things have some deeper meaning to her character or world lol

Me too, I was dyyyyiiiiiing for that whole scene

🌟Draco Plato🌟

same, same, I feel like there's something to delve into there behind her little ticks

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that is true. the stove thing i get, but the soap out did throw me for a loop. so its a good point that her problems may go a bit deeper. albeit shes at least not so tormented shes staying home all day. i imagine it takes her like an hour to actually leave her house though

that old man scene though, man, i erased that from my memory

it just made me so uncomfortable

like old man where is your human decency O_O

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeeeeah, like geezus 0 sympathy for the poor kid

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. i mean youd think corin just told him the weather was not so great, not that his parents died tragically O_O

🌟Draco Plato🌟

altho there was a part of me that thought as a writing choice that was low hanging fruit for showing his anxiety heightened and why he has it and I thought that maybe it could have been added in more strategically than so forced

but that was more my thought on a writing analysis viewpoint

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf i actually wondered if that was the true dialogue and if we were getting an unreliable narrator effect going. like the old man was actually being nicer but corin's anxiety translated the words to something else.

http://suriskacomic.com/62.html

especially after that scene it makes me feel that inclination stronger

wishjacked

oh, that's a very interesting thought!!

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I did wonder that too Rebel!

wishjacked

Honestly I took the scene at face value bc I straight up am that old man. and thaaaaaaaaaaaat's why I have no friends XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

LOL!!!

wishjacked

there tends to be a really strong "unreliable narrator" feeling in general-- beyond Corin's anxiety rewriting speech bubbles, Freya's narration is just snarky enough that I'm not quite sure exactly how biased she is in her representation of her town and etc

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hmm im not sure i got that representation from freya. her items i took more at face value. that being said, i do think shes suffers from a sort of complex in how she sees herself? like she got super pissed about johann not trusting her and thinking she couldnt handle the secret and what not, and something about it struck me as kind of odd. tho i couldnt put a finger on what

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I was surprised how agreeable she was to covering up for an affair

and how nonchalant she was about it, since that's a rather big deal

it made me wonder where she lies on a morality line

which i thought was intriguing

cause my first assumption is she'd be very anti it so it went against my expectations which i like

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that is also true. not to mention its a very risky secret to keep. the about page says this towns population is 150. and small towns of that size generally make it hard to keep secrets of that level

🌟Draco Plato🌟

right! So I'm interested where that story route will go

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic we see the portrayal of mental illnesses, from Corin’s anxiety to Freya’s OCD tendencies. Was there any aspect of their portrayal you particularly connected with? Why? Do you think Corin and Freya will be able to learn to cope with their illnesses better? If so, what do you think has to happen for them to be able to get a better handle on life? Particularly in the case of Corin, what do you foresee as potential conflicts he’ll have to face in regards to his anxiety, and do you think he’ll triumph over them?

as for the first question

once again http://suriskacomic.com/62.html

that page

ive been there. where no matter what people are actually telling you all you hear is how worthless you are. not fun times. and i thought that was really a lovely way to illustrate it. the sudden change in color schemes really sets the mood. and the messy handwriting for corin's added thoughts really i think emphasis the volitile nature of them

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah I felt that was relatable as well(edited)

to a much smaller degree than what Corin has though, but I've been there with crippling anxiety before

My hope is that by the end of the story he'll have learned to cope with it but I could see the creator not taking that direction as well

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

itd be a shame if corin didnt learn better coping mechanisms though. :< like, what a horrid life to live with such anxiety. not to mention from the sounds of it corin moved there to change himself, so hes not gonna be changing himself if that happens. granted i dont expect him to ever be fully "cured" (for lack of a better word). just still, itd be nice if he could go outside or open the door without thinking about how people secretly all hate him or something.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I do think he needs to change for it to be a compelling story arc for him

cause a lack of progression in his condition would just be overly sad especially with the background he came there to change

but if the change character is Freya and not Corin I could see the story not helping Corin in his condition

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah thats true. and tbh im not sure corin is in the right place to change as far as his anxiety goes. im really torn about that. cause on the one hand being able to go to a remote location could be a good mental break. but on the otherhand it can also worsen the anxiety. however corin progresses.

im interested to see how corin handles being on a train

cause thats not really a place where you can actively avoid people in super close proximity

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I think there's also a small chance Corin could be the "antagonist" of the story

if he flips out to such a degree

that it hurts those around him

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

alrighty, I'm here at last

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hi super~!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hi Rebel! Thanks again for doing the CTP

Before I jump in I want to say I like the winter aesthetics of this comic.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

corin is kind of the antagonist. he did hide that letter. which is...like i get he doesnt want to go but he didnt need to deprive freya of the reunion. hes an adult so she technically cant tell him what to do.

yeah its really nice to see a winter setting, especially one where ppl are actively dressed for it

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah i like the winter aesthetic too, and yeah that really made me question Corin on the morality line, that he hid the letter from her just because he wasn't sure if he wanted to go or not. It made me feel he was super self absorbed and doesn't consider his actions and their affect on other people

also who was he mailing the letter to in the most recent page?

it had a sinister feel to it the way it was portrayed

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

considering he was looking at a magazine catalogue thing that had a thing that looked like a radio for 19.99, i assume he was mailing a letter that said "plz give me this product"

🌟Draco Plato🌟

oh! was that it, i didn't notice, I wonder why it was made to feel like such a big deal then panel and tone wise

I guess it could have been done that way because of him over hearing the conversation too

I just didn't think it was that relevant to him since he wouldn't have known the tickets were for him and Freya

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well to be fair the next page may directly say "these are for the farthas so they can go to their reunion" and then corin may be all gasp

i kind of thought the tone was sinister too although i assumed that was an artistic choice to express corin's anxiety. cause when you arent a fan of people, going out where there are people is probably gonna be a sinister undertaking

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, maybe the next page will piece it together better, that could change a lot. I think if his anxiety was the focus there'd have been more focus panel wise on his expressions and less on the letter and mail box

I was actually surprised it didn't focus on his anxiety more

since it seemed like him going there would be a big deal

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats true. on a side note and kind of off topic, i like the pattern on corin's hat. like i think its just a really nice detail.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

>On Page 59 >Chills at around -20 Is that in F or C

🌟Draco Plato🌟

probably F since the creator is from the US

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Holy Christ

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. Suriska may be a small town, but plenty trouble seems to be afoot even so. Do you think Corin will ever hear the end of the whole town going out to look for him? Do you think Corin will be able to maintain employment, or will his employer eventually let him go? In regards to Freya who discovered Johann’s affair, do you think she’ll actually be able to keep the secret? If so, do you think she might take advantage of knowing it since she already got free train tickets out of it? Do you think there are any other shadowy things happening within the town? Regardless, do you think being in the town will help Freya or Corin change perspectives on their life? If so, how can this particular town help? Alternatively, do you think the town is actually making their individual ruts worse?

well it is a winter town. those temps are expected

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

A part of me feels sorry for Corin.

also yea

He just looks like the guy that goes through a lot

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I bet something spooky happens because it's a small town, small town stories generally like to focus on the spooky

someone will die or something supernatural will happen

O_O

also it seems like the witches will be proven to be real or something since it had such a long introduction of importance

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

twist: the winter story was true and corin is gonna run into a fox and corin will bring more winter

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

omg Page 68 tho

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, omg yeah that's probably it rebel

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

and the stuff about an affair

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I feel like the fox/witch story had such a long focus was because it's going to become a big part of the story

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Now that you mention it, maybe(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

also the guy in the story looked a bit like Corin

so i feel there's a connection there

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

mmm

I smell foreshadowing

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i actually got the opposite impression. i cannot see the fox/witch story becoming part of this story in its current course. cause that was the only moment where anything remotely supernatural was even mentioned. and since the rest of this comic is so ingrained in real life issues, it would just be too out of the blue to me to bring it up again

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

what if that was only part of the story

and there's a continuation

of sorts later on(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I do think the supernatural turn would actually be unwelcomed since that's very common and I prefer it being rooted in reality for what it has been so far. Buuuut small town stories, they love to go into the supernatural and that was a long focus on the fox story

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

still would doubt that. cause again, its delving into the supernatural where 90% of the rest of the comic has nothing supernatural about it.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe the story could have some kind of greater meaning

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I've read a lot of comics before that have turned supernatural though in the middle

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

rather than just connecting Corin to it

🌟Draco Plato🌟

so it wouldn't be that strange

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i did think the focus was long, but it can come up in other ways. like maybe corin will use the story as an inspiration to go on a journey. thats more realistic

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah it definitely could be used in other ways

I'd rather see the story be an emotional journey for the characters without the use of a supernatural trope

but again I don't think it'd be uncommon for it to go there

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'll say I'm for the emotional journey part(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I mean Corin could also just flip out and start murdering people saying he is the fox or something

the story is pretty wide open atm

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

true. i mean maybe the supernatural will come up. i cant really even say this is the middle of the story cause who knows how long its going to be. for all i know were still technically in the beginning.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Maybe Corin doesn't want to go on the train so he runs away into the woods and he meets the fox

and then he goes on a journey with the fox

and freya has to find him

and then he gets over his anxiety by realizing he still has freya left or something

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes that could be a possibility. the story couldve just been there to be there. add to that winter lore

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe the fox could be Corin hallucinating or imagining it(edited)

and it speaks with him

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Fox could be the manifestation of his anxiety

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do think the story is going to go the route where corin has to leave the town. imho i dont think the town is helping him at all atm. especially freya cause shes kind of an enabler of just letting him laze about the home. like....hes 21 and she treats him like hes a teen or younger. and i personally think those conditions make it hard for him to grow.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah I agree, Freya is an enabler since she doesn't require him to do anything to help around the house or anything

so it breeds stagnation

He needs to make an emotional journey alone most likely

cause the demons are first and foremost inside himself

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes.

at the very least if he stays in town everyone will constantly remind him about how he ran away and the whole town searched

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

cause man did that town look excited about it XD

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'm thinking he migrates to someplace a bit warmer

if I had anything to say

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, omg Like geezus this town(edited)

he'd be lucky to go somewhere warmer, lolol

oh you asked about if he'd lose his job or not, I actually thought it was amazing he even had a job with his level anxiety. Was legit shocked by that XD(edited)

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

im confused a bit by the geography of this town. in the sense is this town just experiencing winter atm or is it like eternal winter.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

same

I couldn't tell if the curse made it an all year thing or just seasonal

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

which is what i thought the point of the fox/witch story was more. to create something about the seasons

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah if there was a concrete answer regarding it i missed it

but it makes a huge difference

cause if there really is a curse and it's an all year thing than that already puts the supernatural in

if it's related to the curse that is, and not just hey we're winter all year cause of geography, etc

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

for some reason the town really reminds me of alaska

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Me too

I thought it would be someplace in Canada

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I was thinking more of sweden or switzerland

based on their haircuts and clothes

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

but Alaska was what came into my mind first

the clothes looked more Russian to me

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

was skimming the beginning for clues, theres a magical thumb that covers the location

so im gonna assume it doesnt matter

maybe its symbolic

suriska the town is a state of mind

🌟Draco Plato🌟

lolol

i'mma assume it's fictional until otherwise stated

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea(edited)

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

(It might be estonian, based on the fact that they mention Kalavinski which... is a giant rubber boot in estonian apparently)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

a wild Kabo appears

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

Only briefly!

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

eey Kabo! o/

also lol, is that really a thing?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

okay yeah that adds up with their clothes

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

But yeah, I was figuring northwest Europe somewhere. Originally I'd thought Nordic, but Estonia makes sense too.

erm, northeast.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

norway would make sense too cause of her name

Kabocha, Marquess of ✨Sparkle✨

............ directions, man, what are they even

Right?!

🌟Draco Plato🌟

like duuur why didn't i connect that even thought it earlier

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

My mind will forever think

some kind of cross between Alaska and Russia(edited)

🌟Draco Plato🌟

so the name Corin is Irish

that doesn't help

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

fartha is also an irish name?

well assume europe

thats good enough

🌟Draco Plato🌟

somewhere in europe, yus

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea Europe sounds good

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

in regards to corin's job, it does sound like its a pity job so his performance may not matter

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah i like when that was brought up cause it made it make more sense to me

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tho i wonder if he's 1) getting paid and 2) contributing to household utilities and such

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 4. At the beginning of the comic, Freya forcefully declares that she and Corin will be going to a family reunion, whether Corin actually wants to go or not. Do you think Freya will actually get Corin to go, or will Corin magically vanish come time to leave? If Corin doesn’t go, will Freya go alone? If they do both manage to go, do you think the reunion will go well? What do you think in general will happen at the reunion? Speaking of which, what do you think the other members of the family will think of Corin? Do you think something at the reunion will make Corin have a new perspective on his parents’ death? If there is no reunion, how do you think this will affect Freya and Corin’s relationship with their family?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hmmm

I think Corin would make some excuse to go and just

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I bet we don't see the reunion, lolol

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

stay on the side

🌟Draco Plato🌟

and corin will run off and freya will have to find him

cause I think it's unlikely the story will shift away from the small town

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

idk i feel like the reunion is a potential future still. albeit i consider the liklihood of corin actually going to be slim

i could see freya just going "fine whatever stay here by yourself"

and then she goes to the reunion

🌟Draco Plato🌟

since the small town is mentioned so predominately in the about Is why i think they're going to stay there

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

unless his personality takes a full 180 by then

🌟Draco Plato🌟

cause the town is itself a character

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Is that so?

🌟Draco Plato🌟

"Suriska: population 150. It's neither Freya nor Corin's definition of paradise, but it is their home... if you could call it that. Apparently it's where you end up if you try to change your life for the better. What does it take to get out of this rut? It might take spite, it might take snowstorms, or it might just take a reevaluation of your morals."

ALTHOUGH

"A slice-of-life comic about trains, bad weather, and insecurities."

that's the tagline

which makes me think they'll get on the train and get in a bad snowstorm and get stranded, lolol

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hmm

Why do i keep thinking Corin should just do photos of the snow and mountains for a living

with a camera

and store all the photos somewhare

like to give people a taste of what life looks like up north(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i dont forsee that working. it doesnt look like the town really has many electronics of any sort. like theyre still using landlines

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

also yea

you do have a point

🌟Draco Plato🌟

plus making a living as an artist isn't the easiest thing, lol

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

double-point taken

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

just cause they go to a reunion doesnt mean they cant come back. and you can still make the town predominant if the characters talk about it. like i imagine freya's family has lots to ask about it. so in that context it still makes the story part of it. but man, i bet you if freya did go to the reunion she would tell her sister with the foot thing all about johann's affair. make it even thinking nobody will ever meet

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I wonder what time era this takes place in, or if the residents deliberately don't use much electricity in case the power goes out or something and it'd be hard to repair

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Personally I'd like them to go to the reunion, i think it'd be interesting,

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i assume its modern times but that their town is super remote. cause if you have a remote enough town you dont get a lot of stuff we consider common

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

🌟Draco Plato🌟

that's what i assumed too

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ya know

theres a way for the reunion to happen and them to not leave

freya's family comes to them instead

and everyone has to cram into freya's tiny house

🌟Draco Plato🌟

hahah that's true

altho trains being in the tagline makes me think that's going to be a huge thing

so one way or another they're getting on a train

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe. i mean the trains are already kind of a thing

cause it was part of corin's job

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah but then you'd say train stations

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

not necessarily? its a tagline. its supposed to entice not be 100% to the letter accurate

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah, I know

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do think someone is getting on a train

cause now these tickets are a big deal too

🌟Draco Plato🌟

yeah that did increase the importance of the journey

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I always liked when stories go on trains IMO

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i wonder what freya would even do if corin just stayed in bed when theyre supposed to leave and said "nope not going"

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I'd be curious about that too

🌟Draco Plato🌟

I wondered that too, if she'd make him go forcibly, but there is a point I don't think she could physically make him go

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i actually kind of hope freya goes and corin doesnt to a degree. cause i think him having to be alone and take care of himself might be good for him. or more id just be interested to see how he copes for a weekend. cause im slightly worried about his eating habits XD

🌟Draco Plato🌟

oh you know what

corin could stay and freya goes but the train gets in an accident due to the storm and he'd have to deal with the loss of freya too potentially

but freya doesn't die, just has to deal with being stranded

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

although ya know, being so far from home might be hard for freya. cause she cant exactly check the stove while shes hundreds of miles away

tho led my mind to comedic routes. imagining her trek across the snow for miles to get home. corin is like "omg youre okay" and first thing freya does is check the stove and sighs in relief

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hmm

That would be cool for a scene or two

Also I wonder what kind of foods they eat

prolly all warm stuff

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well corin had a muffin. i assume its normal stuff that they eat. tho i imagine they do stick away from cold stuff just for matters of practicality

on a side note

im really impressed corin dresses so lightly

cause corin does not have any heat insulating body fat going on really O_O;;;

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I made it home before 10pm. ^_^;; Just wanted to say, I didn't have much free time this week, and so I didn't get far into the narrative, but that's partly because after I read the bit at the start with the kid and the teacher I thought if I don't stop now and do some marking, I'll read too far and be even more behind at work.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh hey Math! o/

Welcome to the final six minutes

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Enjoyed the start though! Curious to see what others have to say about it.

Better late than never?

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Also yea the beginning was cute

especially with the kids

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey math~!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Apparently it goes to trains passing in the night.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

Hi Math~!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i did like the part where freya gave the kid coffee and then tricked her completely away from wanting to grow up so soon

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

That part got me especially

🌟Draco Plato🌟

hahah i liked that too, but didn't think it'd work in real life XD

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

We teachers can be tricky.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

also took offense since i don't drink coffee, gosh

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

aside from loading the kid up in caffeine

I don't drink it either

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I also don't drink coffee, wooo.

🌟Draco Plato🌟

i drank more coffee as a kid than an adult freya, gosh

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I loved cappuchino growing up

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Anyway, I'll let you get final thoughts out.

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

(I don't like warm drinks)

Great comic overall, hope to see it continue.

Everything about it was really pleasant to read

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

my last thoughts are that i really like the patterns on all the clothing. its that little bit of extra detail that adds some character to the setting and people existing within it

Superjusting of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

^^^

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Nice.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Claire Burn, as well, for making Suriska and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Claire Burn’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Linked by Kabocha. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on May 10th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://linkedcomic.com/