#edit: I added few more ideas :3

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[lilacstro]

i have met a few amazing professional astrologers until now, here's what I have seen and learnt (life tips edition)

hey, its been a while since I posted anything :) a lil diff from my prev posts, this post is an observation series from the astrologers I have met. All of them, were absolutely wonderful and powerful having years of practice, some of them even having connections to influential people. My family had several connections to them because of my mother and grandmother, and basically where I am from. I am telling most generic things I have learnt while talking to them so anyone can use them as they please :)

1.If you want to succeed with education, learning, passing some important exam and things like that, strengthen your mercury. One of the simple things you can do is, feed green to birds and animals or water plants. Could even be learning a new language

2. Always keep your hands, and heels moisturized. It helps for a good venus.

3. If you are someone who likes wearing black all the time, I would suggest adding some light coloured clothes to your wardrobe. If you absolutely cannot, add colours like brown, dark maroon etc.

4.Reminds me, avoid wearing black on special days, like your birthday.

5. If you can wear silver ornaments, please do. Wearing silver ring (check what is the right placement) or earrings, helps strengthen the moon, and helps regulate mind, and brings good luck.

6. If you want a stronger Jupiter, wear gold. If its possible, avoid meat on Thursdays.

7. Helping poor people, or helping anyone in general, especially women, strengthens Saturn. If possible, consider doing this every Saturday, can even be as small as feeding the stray dogs.

8.Reminds me, disrespecting women, is one of the worst things you can do. Not only it is morally wrong, it weakens to your Saturn to a degree where you will start to loose all your material wealth. SEEN THIS 11/10 TIMES FR.

9. Cut your nails, and put them in the soil. Maybe have a separate pot with soil and put it in there. My mother met an astrologer yesterday and this is what he said "Your nails carry energy. When you cut them off, they look for their way back to the source. When you put a dead person under the grave, the first thing that happens is the growth of nails. Disposing them in the wrong places can have very bad effects, like a bad health or luck"

10. IF its possible, try cutting your nails, every friday.

11.Avoid eating at places of strangers or people you arent much aware about. Food made at any body's home has energy, and if you dont know about the person, its generally a bad idea to do that.

12. I dont know how many people know this but your name carries energy. Thats why sometimes, its suggested to change a few alphabets in your name. The way your birth numbers and name numbers synchronize is supposed to have some effect on your life. I learnt this when I met a very amazing astrologer, when he was using my name to find numbers. He showed me how exactly this works

13. Having a strong sun can lead to a good career growth. One of the ways to do so, is wake up before the sunrise, bath before the sunrise. Avoid eating at sunsets , always keeping your home well lit at sunsets.

14. Excessive use of substances is often related to a bad NN. NN is one of the things that defines your purpose, material wealth, unexpected changes that come (good or bad) and your decision making skills. Having a bad NN is often considered to make you act stupid, reckless, lose your money or status amongst others. Want a bad or weak North Node? please keep your home dirty, especially your kitchen and bathroom /use your footwears all inside your home and never keep your plates back into the kitchen after meals and leave them at the table unattended :)

15.Not keeping a good personal hygiene is again a bad Venus. Also, use of perfumes or fragrances can help somewhat with strengthening your Venus.

There is more but that's all i remember for now. Remember all of this is from a personal point of view and if you feel any of this conflicts with your morals, ethics or religion, please be free to ignore it, although I tried to keep this cut and clean as much as possible. This is from my experience and what I have seen and learnt. Astrology does affect your life but to a limit, although, I have seen a lot of this, I still believe a lot of your life is free will. Have good morals, do good, receive good. None of this works if you're downright evil lol.

support me on ko-fi :)

all the best, leave post suggestions or feedbacks as you like :).

i love you all

[aperrywilliams]

If Anything, I Find it Educative (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Part 1: If Anything I Find It Educative

Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t

Part 3: Douchebag Falls Short in This Case

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Spencer is not happy attending the annual FBI Gala this year. Having to socialize with a woman who only wants to seduce him makes it worse. But one not-so-fortunate incident could improve his night somehow.

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: Awkward Spencer. Morgan is stubborn about Spencer getting 'game.' Spencer spills facts about seafood (oysters), human biting, and cheating. Mention to Spencer's dick (only a phrase). Someone choking on food is described. A toxic relationship and job insecurities are described too. If I forgot something, let me know.

A/N: Okay, people. This is kind of an experiment: I want to know how you think the relationship between Spencer and Reader might evolve (if it evolves at all). Good friends? Romantic relationship rom-com style? An angsty romantic relationship? Friends to lovers? Just lovers? What important things do you imagine could happen to them? (canon or not). What could be the Reader's whole back story?

This is just a one-shot, but I am considering continuing it based on your thoughts and suggestions.

Part 2

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Spencer's POV

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There are few things I hate more than being surrounded by many people at an event. Standing in the middle of a crowded party dressed in formal attire is one of them. 

It is an uncomfortable occasion highlighted by uncomfortable clothes.

And this time, it's Hotch's fault.

Tonight, I should have been at home, wrapped in a cozy blanket and enjoying my new edition of War and Peace. But the annual FBI gala and Hotch's adamant request blew my plans.

"Strauss wants to see the whole team at the venue this year. And we are in a very thin line with her to ignore her wishes."

No one seemed conflicted with the idea of attending this fancy party. Even some of my teammates looked excited about it. While JJ and Garcia chatted animatedly for days about what dress they would choose, Morgan saw it as a chance to get to know the new female agents working at Counterterrorism. Rossi only wanted to know how good the scotch would be this year, and Prentiss took it as an excuse to have free drinks. For his part, Hotch seemed as calm as any day at work.

But me? I wasn't excited at all.

Reluctantly, I purchased a tuxedo for the gala. At first, I thought about renting one since I would hardly use it again. But my germophobic self made me think again, and I decided the expense would at least make me feel less uncomfortable.

Keyword: a little less uncomfortable.

Now, I'm standing at the entrance, scanning the venue, searching for a familiar face. The place is packed with agents from all divisions and their plus ones, so it's hard to find anything at all.

But a familiar voice pulls me from my struggle.

"Boy genius! Over here!"

Penelope is calling my name from a table in the corner. As my gaze lands on her, I can see Morgan, Emily, JJ, and Hotch there too.

A sigh of relief escapes my lips, and quickly, I stroll where my teammates are.

"Spence! You made it!" JJ greets me as I pull a chair next to Morgan to sit.

"We thought you weren't coming," Emily added before sipping her drink.

"I understood it was a requirement," I quipped, looking at Hotch. The aforementioned man nodded in agreement.

"It was, indeed. Have I to remind you Strauss is still mad about the whole ordeal with you stepping into a building with no vest and no gun?"

Hotch is right. Strauss made his life hell for a whole week until he notified my suspension.

I wince, remembering the incident in question.

Self-note: don't leave behind the vest and the gun again.

"You look very handsome, boy wonder," Garcia chimes, waving her hand and pointing at me.

I can't help but blush at the compliment. It's not she hasn't done it before, and I know she means well, but-

"Maybe pretty boy gets some game tonight," Morgan claps his hand on my shoulder, grinning.

That's why I don't like that kind of attention. At every chance, someone pips up and tries to play wingman or wingwoman for me. And although I appreciate their efforts, I like to move at my own pace. Even if some say my pace, it's more like a turtle's speed.

Giving him a tight-lip smile, I reach for a glass of water. I don't know how I'll survive this night.

Surprisingly, it is okay for now. I fall into conversation with Garcia and JJ, although it is more like me listening and them talking. Occasionally, I add some to the topic, and they seem receptive.

But Derek looks impatient to stand and march to a group of women talking on the opposite side of the venue, next to the bar. I don't look much into it until I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"You're oddly quiet tonight, pretty boy. What's up?" My sight darts from JJ and Penelope to Derek.

"Nothing?" I offer. My eyebrows creace. Derek snickers.

"I know what you need! Come on, let's enjoy the party and come with me to chat with those beautiful agents at the bar over there," he proposes. I shake my head.

"No. I'm good. You can go if you want. I don't think you need my help."

Derek rolls his eyes.

"Don't get dismissive with me. It'll help you to lose a little. I promise," he insists. And I know I'm losing my battle with him tonight.

"As if I had something interesting to say to them," I mumble, loud enough for Derek to hear.

"Don't say that. Surely, some would like to hear about, I don't know, oysters? And how they became a symbol of glamor or whatever. Because I'm sure you know that, right?" Derek points, grabbing an oyster from the tray a waiter offers him.

"Actually, oysters were not considered a status symbol until the 11th century, when the Crusades trunked access to seafood in Europe. Some researchers believe that-"

I'm about to explain the whole thing when Morgan cuts me off.

"See? Now, don't waste that knowledge with me, and let's share it with those gorgeous, shall we?"

I'm screwed.

I reluctantly stand to follow Derek. I know he's the best intention even if I won't tell him that. Maybe he's right, and I need to step out of my comfort zone occasionally.

As smoothly as only Morgan can be, he interrupts the conversation between three women by the bar. You would think they would return annoyed looks from the sudden interruption, but they did not. It is everything but that.

"Excuse me, beautiful ladies. Hope you don't mind some company. My friend and I thought it would be an honor to share part of your precious time tonight."

How the fuck can he do that?!

The result shocked me almost more than it impressed me. The three turn to us with flirting smiles flashing to Derek. And me?

That's new. And, of course, I have to blush furiously at that.

"Hey, handsome. Sweet talk, uh?" One of the girls teases Derek while the others giggle.

"I know I can do better, but you make me nervous, sweetheart," Morgan banters as smoothly as the beginning.

And that's it. We have their full attention now. Scratch that; Derek has their full attention now.

He asks for their names, and that's how I know the woman who spoke first is Vivian, and her friends are Julie and Ashley. The three of them work in the Counterterrorism Division.

"And who is your good-looking friend?" Ashley asks, skimming at me.

Why is she looking at me from head to toe?

Derek glances at me, and I understand it's time for me to say something.

"I'm Spencer," I wave.

Short and precise.

"Hi, Spencer. You are cute," Ashley points, and suddenly, my mouth goes dry.

As Emily once said, my IQ slashes to 60 when I'm in front of a beautiful woman. And Ashley is a beautiful woman. Her long, stylish blond hair, blue eyes, tan skin with perfect makeup, gorgeous smile, and a dress that accentuates her body in the right places. It would be stupid to say she is not attractive.

"Why don't we go to the dance floor while Ashley and Spencer get to know each other better, uh?" Derek offers to Julie and Vivian, winking at me.

Oh, Lord. Help me.

I don't think Derek or Ashley would appreciate it if I refused to stay here and run to the nearest exit. So I give Ashley a tight smile and prepare myself for whatever comes now.

"Well...?" she prompts, and I don't know what the fuck she expects me to say.

"Yeah. Nice party," I offer, hoping my attempt to small talk works.

Ashley's smile suggests it does.

"It is. Are you having fun?"

No.

"Yes! A lot! Are you?"

"Yeah. But I think it turns out better now," she says, subtly closing some distance between us with a playful look directed at me.

Is she flirting with me?

I clear my throat to appease some of my nerves. I need to cool off. If Derek can do this, I should try.

A waitress approaches us and offers some drinks. Ashley picks a glass of wine, and I prefer a flute of champagne. I don't usually drink alcohol, but I need it now.

"Slow down, boy. People would think I make you nervous," Ashley points seductively when she notices how I quickly down the liquid.

My eyes widen when she rests a hand on my chest and leans to whisper in my ear.

"I don't bite. Unless you want me to."

Okay. That sounds very straightforward.

I should feel flattered. An attractive woman is more than insinuating me right now; I barely said anything. But it doesn't feel like that.

Derek surely would tell me, 'Take it and play it, pretty boy,' but I don't feel like it. If we could engage in a kind of conversation, I would feel more comfortable. Don't get me wrong. I know what a potential one-night stand means, but I'm not good at it. That's how I am. Sue me.

I want to turn her down gently, so I do what I know to do, and people usually hate me for it: spit information.

"Compared with other mammals, like dogs and bears, humans don't have the strongest bite. Scientists measure the pressure exerted by an animal's bite in pounds per square inch or psi. The human bite force is 162 psi. The bite force of some dogs can reach 250 psi, while some bears have a bite force of over 1,000 psi. It's interesting, actually-"

Ashley is now looking at me, confused. She retreats his hand from my chest and hums, faking interest in what I'm saying.

As I go on with my info dump, I notice how Ashley changes her empty glass of wine to a filled one when a server offers it.

Aside from 'interesting,' 'oh,' and 'uhm,' she doesn't add more to the conversation - or more likely, my rambling - and by now, you would think she's tired of me. But no. For God knows what reason, she is persistent. I give her that.

Typically, I can ramble on and on, which is not the exception. The waiters and waitresses keep coming with drinks and food, and even I pick some for myself.

When they offer us a tray with oysters, I can't help but recall what Morgan told me before.

As I see Ashley ushering one to her mouth, I deliver an exciting fact about it.

"Did you know that raw oysters are still alive? Indeed, some people argue oysters might feel pain, and others say that because they don't have a central nervous system, they don't feel pain like other seafood species might."

Not looking at her, I focus on my oyster, inspecting it before continuing.

"If it's that so, the question is when they die actually. This is likely to happen when they are shucked rather than when they are chewed or swallowed. Scientists think this because an oyster's heart is right next to the bottom adductor muscle, so separating it from the shell kills it."

I should have known the lack of response wasn't due to the interest in the topic, although speaking was impossible for her. Her face's blueness and her hand on her neck now tell me something is wrong.

Fuck. She is choking.

I don't know what to do. She is choking on an oyster, and I'm paralyzed. The people around us start to scream as they see her turning blue. That picks everyone's attention, and I want to dig a hole to get into right now. But first, I should do something to help her. Before I can reach for her, a pair of arms hugs Ashley from behind and applies the Heimlich Maneuver. After a few thrusts into the abdominal area, we see the oyster fly from her mouth to somewhere on the floor.

At the same time, Vivian, Julie, and Derek rush to us to find out what is going on.

Ashley starts coughing, and some of her natural color returns to her face. The arms around her torso loosen, and that's when I notice the woman who just saved her life from choking.

Everything happens so fast that I barely register the slap across my face—Ashley's courtesy.

A collective 'Uhhh' is heard around us.

Before I can say anything, Ashley starts a rant full of anger and frustration toward me.

"Are you fucking crazy? Why would you say something like that? It's disgusting!"

Ironically, I'm speechless now.

What is wrong with talking about oysters?

"You fucking weird!" Ashley continues with her rant. It's like she has been holding it since we were left alone.

The woman who helped Ashley now looks between me and her with her eyebrow creased.

"Hey. You should take it easy. You're just recovering from-" 

She can't finish the sentence since Ashley turned to lash out at her.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do! I almost died because of this pathetic nerd here who can't stop rambling about alive oysters! Just thinking about it makes me sick again!"

"Could it be a hint for not eating them anymore?" I muse, gaining a chuckle from the woman - let's call her the savior - and a deadly glare from Ashley. I recoil from saying anything else, and it is the wiser.

"I should have known better than to engage my time with you. Even if you actually pack a big dick, it doesn't worth it!" she whisper-yell at me, but loud enough for Derek, Vivian, Julie, and the mystery-savior woman to hear.

I'm utterly confused and embarrassed. What have to do my dick with all of this? 

Derek is now dispersing the crowd around us as Vivian and Julie try to soothe her friend's anger, rubbing her back and arm.

I bet they see Ashley's wrath boiling and the high probability of her launching towards me to punch me. Their efforts to subdue her seem to work because, after a loud huff, Ashley only grabs her coat from Vivian's hand and spits at me: "Thanks for ruining my night!"

The three pass by my side to one of the exits venue.

I don't even know how I should feel.

I feel upset because my escape plan didn't go as planned. I feel relieved because Ashley didn't die. Hurt? Yeah, that, too. I didn't deserve a slap on my face. She calling me a pathetic nerd? Sadly, I'm not surprised. And it only confirms my theory I'm not good at this kind of setting.

With the show over and people not focused on me anymore, Derek approaches. I know what he wants to say, but I don't want to hear it. I'm done for tonight.

"Don't say it," I cut him off.

"I wasn't gonna say anything," he tells me with a sympathetic look, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Sure you not," I grumble. "And what was about that comment about my… dick?" I whisper to him.

Derek's face tries to remain neutral, but I know him better.

"What did you do?" I demand to Morgan, and he sighs.

"I may or may not have suggested a rumor about your attributes."

I look at him in disbelief.

"Shut the fuck up! You did not!"

"Come on, pretty boy. It worked! You caught their attention, didn't you?"

I shake my head, trying not to snap at him in public. Morgan can see the distress I'm carrying right now and relents.

"I'm sorry, Reid. I thought it would be a good chance for you to show yourself around. You're a good kid; you deserve to have a good time."

It's useless to engage in this argument again. I understand his good intentions, but like this? No, thanks.

"I better get going," I mumble, walking backward. I'm done for the night.

"Reid..." Morgan starts, but the shake of my head cuts him off. He sighs as I turn to head to one of the exits.

Walking through one of the venue's doors, I find myself on a lateral terrace. I stop for a moment to look around. 

If there were different circumstances, I would be enjoying this view. To the front, you can see a beautiful and thick green shrubbery. Several fountains with little waterfalls and statues recreate a neoclassical garden. It is no coincidence since the property where the venue is located is a typical Jefferson's Neo-Palladian construction with high ceilings and large columns.

My architectural appreciation stops when my eyes land on a woman with her back leaning against one of the columns, her left hand resting on the concrete railing, and her right hand with a glass of wine. Her face is turned to the side, and she is observing the beautiful garden in front of her.

I know her. I've seen her before.

Although it is dark outside, the light from the venue's long windows illuminates the terrace enough.

My brain comes up with the answer in a fraction of a second.

Is the woman who saved Ashley from choking. 

After what she did, nobody even thanked her. The worst part is knowing Ashley behaved that poorly with her. It's not fair. And it's my fault.

With that in mind, I approach her.

She seems too concentrated to register I'm just a foot of distance from her. I clear my throat to call her attention.

She turns her head with a confused look at first. But she offered me a kind smile when she realized who I was.

It's my first chance to look at her; with everything happening so fast, I barely noticed her trying to talk back to Ashley moments ago. 

And now that I'm in front of her, I feel weirdly struck.

Besides her beautiful smile, her eyes hold a piercing gaze, but not the kind that frightens you. It's more like she actually sees you and gives you her undivided attention. With light makeup, her face lets you see some of her freckles. With her hair tied to one side, you can see her neck adorned with a simple gold chain with a compass-shaped pendant.

My not-so-subtle scrutiny is interrupted by her voice.

"Can I help you?" She asks, and my cheeks turn pink. But I'm here for a reason, so I clear my throat before speaking.

"Sorry. I - uh. I'm sorry for bothering you, but I wanted to thank you. For what you did back there," I say, pointing to the inside. "And, well, I want to apologize too. Ashley wasn't very kind to you, considering you mostly saved her life."

She tilts her head slightly, a frown forming, while contemplating what to say.

"Well," she starts. "I'll take the thanks. But I can't take the apologies."

Now, it's my turn to frown.

"Oh, okay. Uh - Why not?"

Not that she should do it. It's her right to do it or not, but I'm curious.

"Because you didn't do anything wrong to me, so you don't have to," she shrugs, like it's obvious.

"I kind of did. I mean, Ashley behaved awful, and I didn't -"

Before I can continue, she shakes her head to stop me.

"No. Don't do that. Why on earth do you want to apologize for someone else's bad manners, considering she treated you like garbage?"

She doesn't say it as if she is upset at me, more likely as if she doesn't understand why I would do that. And yes, she has a good point. But someone has to do the right thing, and that's what I say next.

"It's just the right thing to do."

She takes her time, mulling over my words and whether she believes me or not.

"Okay. You're correct. It's the right to do. And it's a shame most people don't do it. But I still believe it is not your responsibility here."

Something is telling me her statement concerns more than Ashley being impolite. But it is not my place to point that.

"But some people do. And that must count as something, I guess. "

It's curious how her look changes from pensive to more light-hearted.

"Okay. You win this time..." she trails off, not knowing how to refer to me.

"Spencer," I supply. She hums.

"You win this time, Spencer. And being that said, I accept your apology too," she added, sipping the remaining wine from her glass.

I smile, nodding appreciatively. It's a little gesture, but I feel better after what happened.

Silence settles between us, and I take that as my cue to leave. I had already taken enough of her time.

"Uh, well. Thank you again..."

I trail off, realizing I don't know her name.

"(Y/N)," she says.

"Thank you again, (Y/N). Hope you enjoy the rest of your night."

With that said, I should get on foot to leave the venue, as I had planned to do ten minutes ago, but for some reason, my feet didn't want to move, and I kept standing there. (Y/N) look at me as if I'm going to say something else due to the lack of movement on my part.

"Are you okay?" she asks, and now I have the same question for myself.

"Yeah. Yeah. Totally okay. Sorry, I'm leaving now."

Turning in my heels, I'm about to walk away when I hear (Y/N) 's voice.

"I didn't know that, you know? And, for the record, I didn't think it was disgusting."

I stop in my tracks to look at her with a raised eyebrow. When I catch what she is referring to, my eyes cast to the floor, and my cheeks turn pink again.

"If anything, I found it educative," she adds. I try to decipher if there is some teasing in her words, but I find none. She's being oddly genuine. Oddly, because I'm not used to people saying that when referring to the things I tend to ramble about.

"Thank you," I sheepishly say, my hands finding home in my pant pockets. "People don't tell me that very often."

A puff leaves (Y/N) 's lips before she says, "Ungrateful fuckers." 

I chuckle at her choice of words.

Weird. It's the first time all night that I don't want to run away from here.

"Yeah. Something like that," I agree, and she smiles. Now I'm comfortable enough to make some conversation.

"Uh, are you from Quantico?"

"Yeah. A very adrenalinal position," she prompts, and I raise an eyebrow. "Finance Division."

I can't help but snort, and she laughs. "I told you. What about you?"

"Behavioral Unit Analysis," I reply. (Y/N)' s eyes wide in recognition.

"Wow. The one and only BAU."

"You know us?"

"Sure. I wouldn't forget a unit that has its own jet. I'm the one who enters the travel expenses from all Quantico," she explains. I hum, trying to figure out the amplitude of that sole task. "Like I told you, very exciting."

She is mocking herself regarding her job. But I find it impressive for a desk job. Not all people have the skills to run financials.

"Well, I agree it is not very adrenaline but very important. I mean, we have to travel around the country all the time. Our job depends on traveling."

(Y/N) has now an amused expression on her face.

"It's nice to know someone truly values what you do. Not even our boss does it," she points before letting a deep sigh escape from her lips. "Gosh, I'm being very judgmental right now. You're going to think I spend my life complaining about everything. I do sometimes, but I'm not always like this," she explains. I shake my head.

"I'm not judging you. Everyone has the right to say what things don't like or would change about their jobs."

"Well, thanks. Although I'm sure you guys have more reasons to be concerned. You risk your life on the field every time. That's huge."

She rests the empty glass on the concrete rail, adjusting her coat around her body. The air is chiller at this time of the night.

"You know? People say that a lot. And I agree. It's a dangerous job, but it's not better than anyone's for that reason, or whatever another reason for that matter.

Her eyes are analyzing me with curiosity. I'm not sure, but it's like she's having difficulty believing what I'm saying.

"Can I ask you something, Spencer?"

"Sure."

"Why are you here tonight?"

My eyes narrow at her question. Isn't the reason obvious?

"What do you mean? It's the FBI annual gala," I point out, knowing she already knows that too. She nods.

"Precisely," she starts. "And at the risk of being impertinent, I can say this environment makes you uncomfortable. When you were with that girl talking - scratch that, when you were talking, and she looked at you, trying to devour you with her eyes - you seemed like you didn't want to be there. Above all, knowing this kind of event is basically to show off to other bureau agents, I don't think is your notion of an ideal night."

If I wasn't impressed when we started talking - which I was - I am now. 

She assumes my awe as discomfort.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to overstep."

"No, no. You are okay. And let me tell you, your observation is completely accurate," I hasten to clarify.

"Yeah?" (Y/N) asks, and I nod earnestly.

"Yeah. Have you not considered applying for a position as a field agent?"

An amused laugh leaves her lips.

"No way! I would be a total disaster! And carrying a gun is not my idea of a dream job anymore," she points out, still laughing. 

I chuckle, but her answer makes me think. Before I can ask for clarification, she calls me out.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question."

I didn't, although the answer is simple.

"My boss made me."

(Y/N) scoff in disbelief.

"What? Did he put a gun against your chest?"

Well, thinking better about it, maybe the answer is not that simple.

"Not quite, but you can say I felt it that way."

I tell (Y/N) how my team always worries about my lack of social interaction, which isn't that accurate if you ask me. However, some of the pressure of doing things that people my age would generally do is finally getting me and pushing me out of my comfort zone.

She listens to me with undivided attention and seems to understand what I'm talking about.

"Peer pressure, uh? I can relate to that to some extent," she agrees.

"That's why are you here tonight, too?"

My question makes her let out a deep sigh as her eyes focus on the garden beside us for a second.

"Not really. Who knows, maybe I do enjoy being here?"

(Y/N) phrases it more like a question than a statement. And I can tell she doesn't believe it either.

"Enjoying being apart from the crowd, in a lateral terrace barely illuminated and exposed to the chilly night air? I can think of several other places to do the same thing without the trouble of a gala environment."

Her cheeks turn a shade of pink, which tells me I'm right.

"Not fair, you are a certified profiler," (Y/N) complains, faking annoyance.

"And you haven't answered my question either," I remind her. She rolls her eyes playfully.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Well, let's say I came here to prove myself something. Spoiler alert: I failed. That's why I have been mostly spending the night here."

I hum, knowing she is vague in explaining, but I'm not in a place to pry.

"Look, I would tell you more about it, but I'm sure you have to return inside. Your teammates are surely wondering where you are."

I can't help but snort, and she raises an eyebrow at my reaction.

"I'm sorry, but your assumption is far from reality. Considering what happened inside, they think I ran home. What I was actually doing before spotting you here," I admit.

"Ha! So it's true I'm holding you back but for a different motive," she triumphantly concludes.

"I didn't say that!" I complain with a hint of exasperation, to which she breathly laughs.

"I know. I know. I'm messing with you. Honestly? There are two reasons why I'm avoiding this topic right now. First, I don't think you want to hear the mess my life is these days, and second, I would kill for a coffee and a sandwich-" she pauses, stifling a chuckle before continuing. "Considering oysters are out of the table."

"Oh, come on!" I groan, seeing how she falls into a fit of laughter, so contagious that I can't help but join her.

"Sorry, sorry. Not very kind of me, I know. But I couldn't help it," she apologizes, still giggling. I bit my lower lip in amusement.

"Alright. It's okay. It's frankly funny," I admit, my words leaving my mouth before I can think of them. "Well, I could tell you more of those moments in my life - many of them - if you let me join you with the coffee and sandwich. I know a good place that is open at this hour. And you can tell me what kind of thing you wanted to prove yourself tonight."

Spencer Reid. Is that you? 

I'm surprised by my sudden confidence, and it seems (Y/N) is, too. She hums, scrubbing her fingers under her chin while contemplating my offer.

"Okay, I'll take it. But don't tell me later that I didn't warn you about the mess of my life," she points her index finger at me.

"I won't. I promise."

-

Grabbing a cab is relatively easy since the FBI considered transportation outside the venue for people who won't be driving.

The fifteen-minute ride allows us to have a light conversation. That's how I know (Y/N) has been in the bureau for almost four years. Being an Accountant by profession and with a Master of Science in Finance from Georgetown, she was recruited for the FBI precisely considering her outstanding skills in the financial department.

She asks me about my trajectory in the FBI as well. I tell her about Gideon and the start of my life at the BAU.

Arriving at our destination, I insist on paying for the ride despite her resistance. I assured her that she could invite me to the coffee.

It must be a curious image for the patrons to see two fully gala-dressed people stepping inside a diner at eleven pm.

We sit on a bench facing each other.

A girl who can't hide her curious expression comes to take our order. As promised, (Y/N) asks for two coffees and two sandwiches.

"So, Agent Gideon recruited you for the FBI. Why did you accept? I would have thought you would be more comfortable in academics," (Y/N) asks, stirring a spoon of sugar in her coffee.

"I thought the same at the time. But Gideon saw something I didn't. He knew I wouldn't settle with learning and teaching for the rest of my life, and I needed it to be useful beyond that environment."

I explain how profiling has helped us to catch unsubs around the country and how worthy it is for me. I can't think of myself doing anything else. (Y/N) listen to me with raptor interest; it is nice to be heard that way.

"You know? I haven't heard someone speak passionately about their work in a long time. It's good you feel that way," she says with a hint of longing that doesn't go unnoticed by me.

"It is bold of me to assume you don't like what you do?"

Maybe I'm overstepping, but I'm curious. And (Y/N) doesn't seem bothered by my question. Shifting in her seat, she leans, resting her elbows on the table.

"Not bold at all, mister profiler," she teases. "But not always has been that way. I would say I started to feel uncomfortable not long ago. A couple of months, perhaps?"

I hum, thinking about what could have made her feel that way.

"It has to do with why you were at the gala tonight?"

She chuckles, nodding.

"Kind of. Remember I told you I wanted to prove myself something? Well, it has to do with what has been bothering me," she prefaces.

(Y/N) relates how things have gone well since she got into the FBI. She felt respected, wanting to do many things and learn everything she could. 

That's how she met her boyfriend.

"I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship, much less at work. I wanted to be professional, separating my private life from my job. But he was so attentive and supportive. He always told me he was happy I felt fulfilled with what I was doing. He was so perfect I thought I had found my soulmate."

I don't know exactly where she is going, but sure as hell, that prick wasn't her soulmate.

"What happened?"

"One day, I wasn't good enough for him anymore. After two years of relationship, he started with harsh comments and criticism about everything I did and didn't do."

A humorless chuckle escapes her lips.

"I should have noticed. By then, he was promoted from desk duty and junior trainee to field agent. He had always wanted it, and I felt so happy for him. But that changed everything."

(Y/N) tells me about how her boyfriend stopped listening to her, and instead, every topic of conversation turned to his job, implying - sometimes saying it explicitly - that it was more important than hers.

"It's not only the fact we stopped communicating; it was realizing how low he thought about me and my accomplishments. At first, I tried to understand. Of course, he was dazed by this new life, full of danger and adrenaline. I could understand it. But when he started comparing me to his female colleagues and the things they were doing, way more important than the ones I was doing, it made me insecure."

(Y/N) takes time to collect her thoughts, sipping the remaining coffee from the cup.

"The insecurities got the best of me. At some point, I just wanted to run away and leave it all behind. I knew it was irrational, but I believed him. I even thought about changing my career and training to be a field agent. Good thing we broke up before I could do that," she admits.

"What stopped you? I mean, like you're telling this, you were going to change for him," I ask. She cast her gaze, averting mine. Her cheeks turn pink.

"I don't like to admit it, but the reason we broke up wasn't because I realized how stupid the situation was. We broke up because he cheated on me. I discovered it two months ago, breaking the camel's back."

Fuck. That prick was not meant to be her soulmate. And I feel the urge to have one or two words with him right now.

"I'm sorry." It's the only thing I manage to say. (Y/N) shakes her head.

"Nah. If anything, I'm glad it happened. Even if it broke my heart."

"He was at the gala, right?" (Y/N) nods.

"With the coworker that he chose to cheat on me. His current girlfriend."

Everything makes perfect sense now. (Y/N) was trying to prove to herself that the wound had healed. And from what she said earlier, it didn't turn that way.

She bitterly chuckles.

"Yeah. It's pathetic, I know."

Spencer, do something.

"No! It's not. Unfortunately, cheating is not uncommon, particularly in men. In 2020, IFS released a report stating that 20% of men have admitted to cheating, and only 10% have. In 2021, the Health Testing Centers asked 441 people who admitted infidelity to their partners and asked how long it took for them to tell their partners about it. 47.7% of the respondents told their partner within a week that they'd cheated. 26.6% of those have waited for a month, and 25.7% took six months or longer to tell their partner about the infidelity. And 60% of them said the affair started in a work environment."

And then again, the rambling. But instead of giving me a blank look, (Y/N) seems to consider what I just said.

"Maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about it then. Anyway, it hasn't been easy to get out of this. I thought going to the gala and forcing myself to see them together would be enough to get a closure," she reflects.

"But it still hurts," I supply, making (Y/N) hum.

"Yeah. I'm not ready, and it sucks. Not for him, but for me. I hate feeling so out of place, so dissatisfied with everything," (Y/N) retorts, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest.

Her eyes look sad, and I want to do something to fix it, although I know that nothing I can say would be enough. Maybe joking will at least get her off the topic.

"And there I was talking about oysters all night," I sigh, feigning disapproval. Genuine laughter escapes her lips.

I didn't know that making her laugh could fill my heart so much with satisfaction.

"That's life," she adds, now checking the time on her cell phone. "I think I'll get going," she announces, collecting her things and preparing to stand.

"Can I walk you home? It's very late already," I ask.

"Oh no, don't worry about me. My building is not far from here."

I know she doesn't want to cause trouble, but it makes me uneasy about what could happen to her walking alone at this hour.

Thank you, BAU.

"Please?" I insist. (Y/N) raises an eyebrow.

"Aren't you already fed up with me?" she asks curiously.

"Non yet," I grin.

Not having the energy to put up a fight, she accepts my offer, and after paying the bill, we leave the restaurant.

The night is colder now, and both of us walk in silence with our hands in our pockets.

I can't know what exactly she's thinking, but at least I can't stop thinking about tonight. For someone like me, it's hard to fall into spontaneity, but with (Y/N), it wasn't a problem. That amazes me, and I like it at the same time.

When she stops walking, I get out of my thoughts.

"Here," she says, looking at the building we are standing by. "Thank you for walking with me," (Y/N) states, smiling. It's the same warm smile she offered when I found her on the venue's terrace a couple of hours ago.

"Of course. It's the less I could do."

And I mean it. She saved my night in so many ways she doesn't even know.

"Well, I need to say it was a pleasure to share this shit of a night with you and turned it less shitty," she says, grinning and satisfied with her remark.

I laugh at her statement. I couldn't have said it better.

"Thank you. It's the best compliment I have had in a long time," I joke, making (Y/N) giggle.

"You are welcome."

I have the question on the tip of my tongue. I would love to see her again, but what if she doesn't think it's worth it? I opt for the vaguest thing that comes to mind.

"See you around?"

(Y/N) thinks about it for a moment. Am I being too obvious? Before falling into a spiral, she smiles at me again.

"Yeah, sure. Why not."

I can't help but feel the excitement pouring from me.

"Great! Well, I - I'll go now. Good night (Y/N)," I say goodbye, slowly walking backward.

"Good night, Spencer," she retorts before entering the building.

I watch her disappear behind the door, and I think that while neither of us got what we wanted, maybe we got what we needed.

-------------

Next -> Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t

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A/N 2: I'm excited to know your thoughts about this!

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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity

[soft--dogs]

Ever wanted to be a marketable 90s fad that was doomed to fail? Well now your dreams can come true! For just $30 a character I will draw your fursona or character as a floppy beanie plushie :3 DM me if you're interested in grabbing a slot! I'll send you a quick form to fill out ^w^ Commission rules: - This is for art only! NO physical beanies are being made. - This is not a YCH! Poses may be similar but each one will be unique. - Character designs will be simplified!! - I’ll make it as accurate to your character as I can, but keep in mind these are supposed to be a little silly and wonky. - MUST have ref sheet or image I can work from. - No clothing, naked beanies only. - Accessories (glasses, piercings, etc) CAN be added but please specify! Otherwise they will be NUDE. - Small items/ props can be added for an additional charge! - If there is a certain style of beanie not listed here you want me to draw, feel free to ask if I can do it! I only drew a few examples, but there’s more out there. -  A lot of this is customizable, so if you want different tag color, no tag at all, whiskers/no whiskers, a different species on a certain beanie style, etc, I’m open to ideas!  - Payments through Paypal invoice only. - Turnaround time for these will vary. I’ll be working on them in between my regular commissions. Feel free to edit your commission and use as memes, icons, stickers or whatever! As long as you’re not selling it, you’re good x) Update: I had increase the price on these, they're taking me a lot longer to finish than I expected! I'm averaging about 4-5 hours to complete each beanie. Also I've had a pretty big demand for these, so my queue has gotten pretty long! Expect completion times for new slots to be about 2 months.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Hi Aquarius!

I had an idea I wanted to share with you: SAGU creator reader who likes to make little bits and bobs for their acolytes. For example, Childe vaguely mentions that his gloves are starting to wear out? The creator crochets or knits him a new pair-Can’t have his fingers getting chilled in the Snezneyan snow now can we?

(I just wanna give my skrunklis lil gifts and make them happy is all :3)

(Also, could I possibly be 💌anon?)

WHOFOHNJDFjhkbfsgddf Genuine keyboard slam i just kinda slammed my hands down in excitement ahem-

That would be a lovely idea anon, yes very much so indeed,

so im like hella into giving ppl useful but still aesthetic/pretty gifts, like i dont want the things i give ppl to be things that get donated/thrown away (when i genuinely care abt a person)

Also IF I DIDNT RUN U OFF FOR BEING SO LATE YES HELLO U CAN DEFINITELY BE 💌 ANON THATS SO CUTE I LOVE THAT EMOJI-

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cutenss

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each

Stars: Everybody from elements Pyro, Electro and Anemo! Plus Aether/Lumine/Dainsleif!

Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen + Up Audiences Advised, light cussing

& Trigger Warnings: None Known.

SO U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANSSSS

THIS IS MY JAMMMMM, MY PB&J BITCHEESSSS GET REKTT

☆

AHAHAHAHA- YOU’RE ALL GETTIN SPAMMED WITH JUST GIFT IDEAS I HAVE FOR WHAT TO GIVE THEM- YOU DO NOT HAVE CHOICE. YOU WILL BE GIVING GIFTS TO THE TEYVATIANS, THEY DESERVE GOOD THINGS. SUCK IT.

EDIT 9/19/23: WTF HELLO??!!! 1000+ NOTES??!?! THANK YOU SO MUCH?!!!!!! <3

PART 1 (you're here!) / PART 2

ELEMENTS HERE: Babygirls, Pyro, Electro, Anemo

☆

Babygirls:

Aether = The most beautiful, amazing, sleek, and functional pretty hairpin that is also a knife! So he can have that badass moment of unsheathing it from his hair and having a surprise weapon and showing off his long hair, acted all shy when you gave it to him, he doesn’t get gifts often, all the birthday letters were for you afterall, i feel like you deffo have walked in on him miming taking it out all badass for practice lol

Lumine = bless her, you handed her this gift and she just looked up at you and u swear didnt blink or look away for a full minute. Then she nearly crushed you to death squeezing you, god she’s muscular, as you made a sort of self-care kit, including her favorite scents you added to like blank soaps/face masks, and towels you initialed with “Lumi”, she deserves a break afterall (and she thinks you deserve it too, and subtly tries to get you to join like *“*oh this is so sweet, something for us to do together”)

Dainsleif = sad little man deserves happy little things, you make him a weighted blanket, in these blankets it’s usually like sand or something that is put into little like quilt squares so it evenly distributes weight, but you used that water from the fountain that soothes Khaenri’ah people’s curse instead. He literally went speechless when you gave it to him. He has not had a single night of insomnia since. He would literally do anything for you, and literally stole you off to the side after a few nights of good sleep to tell you this lmao

Pyro Allogenes:

Diluc = Another bitch who just needs a break, you steal him off one evening and tell him you need a hilichurl camp wiped out, and there’s a cryo mage so you need him, bc thats the only way this workaholic is actually gonna drop everything and actually take care of himself, you have to deceive him, and then surprise him by showing him a hot spring you found. Teyvat has a lot more things to it now that it’s in real life, and that includes natural hot springs apparantly, and you’ve already prepped the place too, with his favorite non-alcoholic drinks, some indulgent foods like chocolate and fruits, and a soft robe. Man’s went wide eyed and nearly fell in LMAO, and then, looking away all pink, said he couldn’t accept this… unless you joined him.

Amber = a pair of comfy shoes, with baron bunny decorated all over them, like you sewed patches over them to personalize it, and the insoles are GODLY good, so she can run to Sumeru at this rate and her feet will feel like she went for a light jog! Some Mondstadt citizens, and knights tbh, are honestly a little afraid of Amber now bc her feet aching was sometimes the only thing stopping her from going 100% all the time lol

Bennett = a lucky charm, yes, yes, I know, basic, but it’s different coming from you! You’ve given him a bandana to wear as a neckerchief around his throat (it’s unprotected and he’s that unlucky?!) and it fits great, you’ve made it from Liyue materials, and imbued it with geo energy, so it actually makes a small shield/barrier around his head lmao, he’s practically thanking you every week and telling you how it helped him that week 💀

Klee = a treasure hunt map you made! every little stop/treasure gives her some candy or a snack, plus the next instructions, and she insists you go with her, and drags you along lol, and you planted them within range of the Mondstadt so she’s not too far off, and the final treasure (bc u planned it so she was supposed to start at a certain time/get to the end in a few hours) she finds at late sunset, and it’s a type of challenge that u were able to make, (bc apparently being the “highest god” means u get dev access, like the teapot functions but more OP). It makes a rainbow of glowing fish appear as targets to better Klee’s bomb throwing skills, and to entertain her, she gives the most dramatic gasp ever, and is just vibrating telling you “The fishes! They’re so pretty! ‘Bedo said that you give the greatest gifts, and he was so, so, so SO right!! Thank you very much!!!” :D in her cute little voice and then proceeds to speedrun you a hug and then starts throwing bombs lmao

Xiangling = HOO BOY- she has nearly every cooking utensil known to man, thanks to her being a young famous chef, and bc her family’s restaurant makes good money bc of it, so it was hard to think of something for her, but you eventually made her a handwritten and sewn together recipe book (look up “how to make zine”, its very easy actually, theres one with sewing the paper and a smaller one with just folding). It’s full of all of your favorites from Earth and what you think could substitute here, and how it should taste. Xiangling literally took your hands and spun you bc she hates luxury stuff, and really loves and appreciates homemade gifts, it’s the first anyone’s heard of your homeworld’s food so it makes her feel special <3 (she will be constantly harassing you with a spoonful of food to try and see if it’s close)

Hu Tao = You remembered one of Shakespeare’s plays and wrote a rough screenplay for Yunjin to adapt, then took Hu Tao with you to see it! She loves poetry and singing, so she loves to see Yunjin play usually, but she hadn’t had the time lately bc of funeral spirit work, (u also brought Zhongli so she could have fun embarrassing him lol), and she literally made a whole bit/joke about getting down on one knee to marry you, which was promptly interrupted by said embarrassed adepti, people even clapped lmao

Xinyan = You made her an aweinspiring outfit to wear onstage, modeled after classic rockstars from your world, she nearly teared up at the sight of it, and then nearly took ur ear out bc she was getting so loud and excited, u try to convince her otherwise, but Xinyan refuses to wear it outside of big occasions like Lantern Rite or performances with Yunjin (looks like this, I tried very hard ok, check it: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/76631631152377154/)

Yanfei = Once again, a written book, or at least 20 rap songs for her to look through. This sounds weird, but she eventually hopes to see a future where people are just better at obeying laws and considers then she’d be out of a job. So, after seeing some of Xinyan’s performances, she decided her back up career would be a rapper. She will literally stop you every time she sees you and lowkey force you to hear her latest rap she’s made, partially inspired from the Earth ones you gave her a lot of the time! She literally talked your ear off for hours, and didnt realize that she linked arms with you at one point and made you both walk at least 3 miles around the port lol, very embarrassed but grateful for the gift, another person who really adores homemade stuff

Thoma = you sewed him a cute plushie of Taromaru, along with a little plushie tea cup set. He literally covered his mouth in shock, and turned away, were those tears?? Very carefully took his gift and nearly bent in half bowing and thanking you for the gift, and was cutely touchy all day, linking arms, guiding you by gently nudging your back in crowds, etc. You once woke him up out a day nap on accident trying to find him, and he walked out half-asleep clutching the plushie Taromaru and nearly jumped a foot in the air at the sight of you lol, all like “HIGH EMPEROR?! OH MY- Oh my gods- Uh- sorry, so sorry about that!” and then proceeds to immediately hide Taro behind his back all red in the face lmao, refuses to acknowledge it, will get even redder if you keep pressing him about it lol

Yoimiya = so Yoimiya canonically really loves to go out into nature and explore, and go for that sunset hike type of person! so you, once again assume all these thru tutorial or teyvat craftsmen help, made her a hammock! She’s apparently really bad about falling asleep outside, and since hammocks can be really lightweight and good for temperate weather (ive tried it, sleepin in a hammock for camping its kinda nice, as long as you dont fall out/toss and turn a lot in ur sleep), and you even added some extra ropes on the sides so she can tie it down and not upend herself while she’s sleeping (keeps the hammock from tilting). She literally squealed and dragged u all over Inazuma trying it out with you, and because she chats with her neighbors/community a lot, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU GOT HER A HAMMOCK, YOU PAINTED IT AND EVERYTHING, DID YOU KNOW YOIMIYA IS ONE OF THE ALLOGENES THAT GOT BLESS WITH A PERSONAL GIFT FROM THE ALL-GOD??!! - everyone in Inazuma near her house, including yoimiya

Dehya = so Dehya likes to upkeep personal hygiene as much as she can between her mercenary job roughness and the general battery of the desert. She also is known to stop by the market place to pick up makeup and other personal hygiene products! So you figured if she’s collected so many of those over time, she might just have a practical bag to carry them in, and you offer her a multi-pocket cloth bag (like for taking makeup when you travel bags) and also attach a mirror inside! She literally covered her face with her hands and Dunyazard lightly teased her for weeekkssss lmao, and the other guys in her mercenary group like “wowww, someone managed to tame the Flame Mane?” which just makes her more shy bc the God of ALL decided to HANDMAKE her a gift, and not just a frilly thing, an ACTUAL USEFUL PRETTY GIFT- she accidentally set her claymore alight when you finished explaining what it was and handed to her (it’s fireproof too)

Electro Allogenes:

Lisa = a decorated tea set! Specifically, you painted it her favorite color, with some of her favorite book quotes across the saucers and her favorite flowers across the teapot. She gave you the prettiest smile, and just “Oh cutie! For little old me? You’re a bit above a librarian like me, but I’ll still accept this with all the grace of a lady courted, haha!” insists on “trying them out” with you all the time, especially when you get too busy from the other allogenes <3

Fischl (they/them Fischl supremacy) = You made a book cover (like how some books will have the paper sleeve and the actual hardcover is just colored? like that) of Prinzessin der Verteilung, but looking a lot more like them rather then the old protagonist! They collectively lost their mind over it for literal weeks, and did the same for you for your most relatable protagonist! :D They insist you two start a fantasy book club now- NO they don’t care if you’re the All Fürst! That makes you all the more qualified for joining the elite literature society they’re starting!

Razor = a bunch of hair ties! You’ve made scrunchies, bows, clips, etc. for him to try and decorate his hair with, all of things he likes, like little wolf puppies, or Andrius’ but cuteified, little symbols of all his friends like little bomb design hairclips for Klee, a red four leaf clover for Benny, a purple rose for Lisa, a golden star for the traveler, and an eight pointed star, like the four-pointed one but with some flare in between its points. A prominent symbol apparently associated with you u found out :0, Razor is giving Barbara and Klee a run for their money bc of how cute he looks walking into town for Lisa’s lessons with all this cute little clips and hair ties and braids in his hair now <3

Keqing = you know. you know EXACTLY what to give her. Plushies of cute animals or creatures in or around Liyue, like the little snow foxes from Dragonspire, a tiny oceanid, the small geovishaps, etc. Keqing doesn’t care if you’re a god, remember! So you better swear to never tell a soul you made her these!! …she sleeps with them too.

Raiden Shogun (puppet) = what to give a cold hard b*tch? …a break. you talk to Ei and make her give the puppet some off days, and you also may or may not have bullied Ei for being a hermit, so she can explore and learn more about herself, instead of being forced into the image, literally, of her god. She tries to write you months in advance for making plans on her days off so you can join her!

Ei (god) = an open window bc she’s a hermit, i mean of course you bring her out on “updates” (she weirdly choked a little over tea when you presented this idea to her, “Ahem- cough- a date? Oh, as in getting more familiar with the world, yes of course,” you basically pull out a map and take her to other countries so she can see how the other gods are doing these days and finally do something new, she is overwhelmed but in a good way? And she's especially willing to do it if you keep calling them that, these “up-dates”

Yae Miko = you were honestly kind of intimidated by giving Yae Miko a handmade gift, it just seemed like she would like something of high quality, which your gifts weren’t always guaranteed to be. So instead, you didn’t. You made a cool little picnic, and in remembering her love of stories from her lore as a kid, you brought some of your world’s stories to show her, the classics, then any favorites of yours, and some you thought she might like, and read them all to her about once a week. You both talk about and discuss the book and let Yae nitpick it and try to give her more context for books like Shakespeare in hope to answer all her detailed questions about the stories. Yae was so fucking smug (and secretly so in love) that she wrote a story for Yae Publishing House about it… “Joining a Book Club with the Akitsu Mikami, a Romance Novel” 💀

Sara = damn another busy woman, you steal her away with the promise of “needing a body guard” and she immediately answers and drops everything (u made sure to choose a slow day, dw ur not a rude god) andddd you’ve got her! Sara literally just stood there in shock when you showed up at your meeting place with homecooked food, specifically new recipes from your world, and some recipes from Xiangling! She would not stop stuttering out thanks yous the entire time, and fumbled with her chopsticks constantly, and she ate a lot, and even shyly asked if she could take some of it with her for later, now anytime you mention food around her she unintentionally starts looking at you with puppy dog eyes, (baby crow eyes??) even if the rest of her posture is perfect/gives nothing away lol

Beidou = A hand woven wine cask holder! a bit more solid so you can paint some designs on it, and you painted the whole crew, with Kazuha in the crow’s nest and Beidou is the biggest figure on it (stylized, u arent trying to paint a renaissance artwork here) and you even put her name on it “Captain Beidou” :) You were rewarded with a tall muscular woman squeezing you with her muscular arms, Beidou only puts her best wine/sake bottle in it, and only uses it for special occasions! she may or may not have had to make sure and hide it in her Captain’s quarters so other pirates won’t steal it, since everybody on the seas heard about the All Mighty giving her a personalized gift, but dont worry! She’s a pirate captain, she’s used to defending her most prized treasures from others <3

Shinobu = a spa day for another overworking woman, you made her another mask and hair tie! They still match her of course, but they also subtly have that eight point star symbol you’ve had associated with yourself before (like the four point but with a little flare), and she literally went so red, she hid behind Itto for a second. who helped morally support her enough to try it on, and it’s definitely her most comfortable mask!

Cyno = you were a little… embarrassed to make this one, but Cyno mentioned wanting it so… You made a TCG card of yourself. With the world in your hands as you hover in the middle of a solar system, you paint yourself giving a small smile down at Teyvat’s world cupped in your hands. One of the symbols they associate with you, the eight pointed star, not equal points, but rather a four pointed star with embellishments, said symbol glows and dangles from a necklace you wear, above it all. You swear he stared at it for a solid minute without blinking, and when you initially offered it, Cyno held it like it was spun glass. He gently laid it on a table nearby, his eyes never leaving it as he got out his deck, and put the card of you, on the very top. The mahamatra then gently set it down, and then gently hugged you and picked you up off your feet a bit (when you said maybe you were too heavy for this, he just raised an eyebrow, and that’s when you remembered that trailer of him throwing a body-builder man, one-armed, over his shoulder. He easily lifted you and set you back down. 💀)

Dori = A herb garden. Strange, but Dori’s sister has a lot of medical issues, and the herbs can be hard to come by, even for Dori, you didn’t tell her that you read some parts of her life, but when she saw the planter box, she knew. You had ventured far and wide, all over Teyvat, and the stuff you had came with you! so you put one of every herb you had or went out and got some because you’ve been exploring Teyvat anyway. And for once… you made sure no one was around, Dori teared up. She carefully set the box full of lively plants aside, and you were in the middle of explaining how to take care of them when she just, wrapped her smaller frame around your lower legs. You squatted down to hug her back :’)

Anemo Allogenes:

Venti = another book you made (look up “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) that you filled with all the lyrics to all your favorite songs, and some classics! The bard was ecstatic because he technically had vague knowledge or recognition of most of Teyvat’s songs, but songs from another world didn’t count, hehe! …he may or may not have lightly guilt-tripped you into trying to sing or hum some of the tunes or melodies of the songs, “I need to hear the melody so I may play it for you for eternity, your highness!” That’s his gift back, is that now you can get a Venti medieval sounding cover version of any song you like lmao

Sucrose = you’ve made another book (bought in Teyvat or made, check out “how to make a zine” on youtube it’s easy so I think you could feasibly handmake it!) and filled it with as much information as you can on how things like electricity works, luckily you can still retrieve information from Earth thanks to Albedo managing to somehow get you a signal?? You don’t wanna know, but point is, she’s literally spiraling. It’s been days, Albedo had to be the one to drag her out of the lab and eat, while you are starting to doubt if your gift did more harm then help… as soon as you voice these thoughts to Sucrose she nearly shook your head off from shaking your shoulders so hard while she ranted about phones, telephone poles, paved roads and she actually offered books back in exchange, for leveling allogenes up, as long as you told her more about “Those ships that go underwater again?? Please, Your Highness???” cute puppy dog eyes but worse bc she’s got cute glasses on too, oh no-

Jean = another workaholic woman who just needs a break, god why are there so many of them?? Your first thought was a spa day, but you like to think you can do better than that. In fact, she’s had a pretty heavy load since she was a kid trying to uphold the Gunnhildr clan’s name/knighthood, so you decide that instead of spa day, you should have a fun day! So you decide to take her out some days for some fun around Mondstadt (and recruit Venti to help do things like boost the winds for extra fun), like shield surfing! (look up Breath of the Wild shield surfing video if you dont know what i mean), it's something a lot of young knights do, and it’s perfect for Mondstadt’s hilly landscape! Other things like flying kites, or even rerouting all her work for part of the Windblume festival so she could enjoy it more! THEN you kidnap her all over again, and Barbara, to go to Fontaine! What better way for her to have genuine fun than getting a break to see and have fun with her younger sister and go see a colorful circus/fair? Jean was literally just a constant stream of “thank you your majesty! my gracious god, thank you- this is too much-, All-Fürst I am forever indebted to you for this!” and ur just like :/ Jean that’s the whole point of a gift is that you aren’t indebted to somebody-

Xiao = a friendship bracelet :) since he likes jewelry, and he likes you, it's perfect! and u made it match his necklace. you’ve also put that same water from the fountain that soothes the Khaenri’ah’s curse, and put it in there, and it actually lessens his karma, so for the first time in about 2 centuries, Xiao the Yaksha, can actually sleep through the night. You weren’t looking, but when you turned away to show him your sketches or plans for how to craft it, he sort of, reached out. You felt his hand warm on your wrist before it retreated, you could already feel the callouses, as the small weight of a bracelet was wrapped around your hand, his return gift, so u guys could match 👉👈 Xiao breathes out what sounds like all those years of pain in one shaky, relieved, “…thank you” (he did all that while you were turned around in your bag too, he was too shy to look at you when he put it on lmao)

Kazuha = “So this is what you’ve been up to lately, hm?” Kazuha’s been kind and laidback enough that he’s one of the allogenes who quickly dropped the formal titles luckily. He’s been seeing you sneak around and present your gifts to the others… and he came prepared in case you came to give him something too! Before you can even get out, “Hey, Kazuha, do you have a minute? I’ve got something for y-” boom. He’s beat you to it, he’s saying the same damn thing, and pulling out his gift for you. It’s a lovely Inazuman outfit, decked out in your favorite color, it’s like if you were an Inazuman character yourself- You just accept it half in shock, while Kazuha gives this small smile, but u can see the smug little look in his eyes, that little shit he really prepared a countermove- HE EVEN WROTE YOU REALLY SWEET POETRY AND EMBROIDERED IT INTO SOME OF THE INSIDE HEM LINES LIKE THE COLLAR -//////- ← you rn as Kazu’s all fucking smug, you end up just being like “take ur crummy gift u little shit” and nearly throw it at him lol, sweet asshole that he is, catches it anyway, and you’ve made him new hair ties, some minimal clips that look like maple leaves (like felt fabric stuck onto the clip bit) and the new hairtie is more like a scrunchie with a pretty red knot on top, your own symbol of an eight-pointed star, like an extra four-pointed star not the star of david lmao, sits in the center of the traditional japanese knot. He wears it nearly all the time, and mentions making you one to match (>:/ sweet considerate little shit he is)

Sayu = you’ve made her a quilt! stitched together from all sorts of cute fabrics, so it still matches her color scheme, she wraps up in it now before going into that balled up tanuki form lol, she insists you break it in with her and take a nap with her constantly lmao, and you give in even if you dont always sleep because of her tiny half-asleep smile (sayu knows the grip she has on you lol💔)

Heizou = a mystery novel a friendship necklace! you knew him and his friend had once had something similar, (they were more like matching river rocks or pebbles not jewelry you think) so you desperately hoped it wouldn’t be too offensive. The little shit who saw it coming #2, whereas Kazuha suspected you might offer him something, he didn’t have quite the same intution that Heizou did, so the detective knew you were going to give him something >:/ little snitch- he was so smug and teasing about it right up until he actually saw the necklace, it draped lower so it didnt look weird with his choker, and it was a pretty crystal you’d gotten from a riverbed (you didnt tell Heizou bc of the similarity w/his old friend, but he knew anyway) and he immediately looked the most serious you’ve ever seen him. His grin was less of a smirk and more of a smile when he processed what you gave him, and he wears it all the time :) Calls it his "God blessed good luck charm"

Scara/Wanderer = It was very hard, and you had to learn how from a blacksmith, but you finally got it! You made a small addon that latches onto the outside frame of his Vision, so instead of the sort of teardrop shape it has, you’ve made a heart shape. Since he sees the vision as his heart, you thought it’d be cute to actually see it that way! He was all like “I don’t wear jewelry, I already have some metal holding my Vision, are you trying to embarrass me?” You: “okay, well you don’t have to keep it, I’ll take it back-” Scara: “No? Shut up it’s mine now.” He went pink the first time he put it on, and he only wears it when it’s just you two, or you both and Nahida (bless her, she only lightly teased him, just enough to have him yell a little, not enough to discourage him)

Faruzan = a compass that points towards ruins/magical places, so she can explore all the ruins the desert has to give, and also, more importantly, guides her out, you deffo relied on a blacksmith for this one, and got Nahida to help you add the magic to it. She just got this, soft and bittersweet? look on her face, and redirected the nostalgic look towards you, bowed gently and thanked you, … you offered her a hug. Faruzan accepted, and you could feel the way she exhaled, relieved.

☆

(Throws this garbage at you really late and runs away to my bed)

Hope u liked literally any of that! ;-;

Also im not done as you can see! Im doing all the elements bc i love these skrunklies-

☆

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒️

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[dmercer91]

i would, lh43

you and luke really like to piss each other off.

or

four times you and luke almost kiss and the one time it finally happens

this is toxicity, angst and a little fluff all rolled into one. enjoy! <3 (7.6k) this is very much not proofread

one.

you were sure luke hughes was one of life’s greatest mysteries. to put it lightly, he was sweet until he wasn’t. 

you’d warned him before the two of you started dating in your shared freshman year that you’d been through a lot.

you warned him that sometimes you needed a minute alone, that sometimes you could self-destruct, and that sometimes you lost yourself in your brain and that someone else would take over for a while

he promised you that he’d work with you, that he understood what you were explaining and that he could surely handle it. 

he promised he’d do anything he could to help you get back into your head whenever you felt out of it, that he’d keep his head on straight for the both of you so that the two of you could work through rough stages.

clearly you hadn’t prepared him well enough, or clearly he overestimated his level headedness. 

it sucked for the both of you that you still had to see each other every day, regardless of whether or not he was on the road, cause you’d be there too. 

you’d been warned by every girl in every stage of life that dating in the workplace was a horrible idea. you promised them it was hardly work, you weren't even around that much. you were wrong again.

when the two of you broke up, you opted to stay with the team as the media intern. after all, you agreed to be friends. 

that went sour quickly, because all the arguing that took place in the confines of his dorm or your sisters apartment carried onto your friendship, and consequently in the halls of yost.

the more the two of you would argue, the more you both got petty. 

today was no different, and you weren’t trying to work him up on purpose, but when the opportunity arose you took it and ran.

a trend on tiktok had started, talking about red flags. the monday question you chose was something along the lines of ‘what is your weirdest / stupidest red flag’ 

most of the players responded as you expected them to - something like mixing jams on their toast or putting hot sauce on their bagels.

you weren’t even expecting him to acknowledge you, because since the breakup, luke had avoided monday questions, as well as your camera, altogether. 

you weren't sure what had pissed him off today, or what was going through his brain when he decided he was gonna be sour right off the bat, but his response was surely something.

“my ex girlfriend is an obsessive bitch,” you covered your mouth to keep yourself from laughing. you knew he was just being an asshole for the purpose of trying to get to you, but the words truly sounded unnatural coming from his mouth.

luke figured you would delete the video and move on with your day, get back at him with some mean comment another time, but instead you decided to take it a little further than he was intending.

after practice was over, you sat in the cubby a few down from his and began to edit the videos you’d taken of the boys together, and you saved it. then, you took the new video and added the clip of luke to the end, playing on full volume and repeating itself as you pretended to adjust the beginning to the previous clip of dylan running away.

the few guys that were left in the dressing room looked at eachother, and luke was already staring you down.

the rest of the team had learned to tune the two of you out. seeing as you were friends with most of them even before you dated luke, none of them chose sides and they all believed that eventually the two of you would get tired of pissing each other off and quit it. alternately, luke would just leave for jersey and peace would be restored. 

“what? why are you looking at me like that?” you mumbled defensively, eyeing him like he was a weirdo.

“you’re putting that in the actual video?” you raised an eyebrow, smile etched onto your face like it was drawn with a sharpie. what you weren’t expecting was for luke to take a deep breath, and look away.

you continued to edit the clip, up until the remaining players had all left yost and you felt luke’s eyes burning into your skull again.

he stood up calmly, and walked over to you.

you looked up at him and stood as well, slowly backing out of the doors in the dressing room. he followed, speeding up to keep you at an arms length

“delete that, y/n, i swear to god,” you realized he was trying to corner you, and though he physically outmatched you any day of the week, he was failing spectacularly at it.

you did your best at playing keep away with the umich media phone, and backed your way into the visitors dressing room.

“delete it? fat chance. i was actually thinking i might put it up, i can never seem to get content of you unless-“ you groaned as your back hit the wall, luke holding you against it with his hips

“unless i’m too pissed to shove the phone out of my face?” you grinned, slinging your arms around his neck and leaning into his touch, your chests pressed taught to each other so you couldn’t slip from his grasp.

“you know, if i get early onset back pain, i'm blaming you. now can we quit it with the dramatics? i have a very charming video of you to edit for the tiktok page” luke just pressed you closer to the wall, ignoring the grin you gave him to show how much you’d actually been liking the closeness.

“you wouldn’t,” he tried to grab the phone from your hands, placed behind his neck, but you were quick to tuck it into your bra so he couldn’t access it.

“i would.” his jaw clenched and you kept straight eye contact, loving how irritated he was getting so quickly.

“baby,” he stated, taking a deep breath.

“i was being a dick, and i’m sorry. but we don’t need to make that a public thing,” you bit your lip, pretending like you were contemplating it before you replied to him

“we’re using baby again?” he licked his lips, grabbing your hands from his shoulders and holding them.

his eyes softened and he paused before using what was probably the sweetest tone you’d ever gotten from him

“if you want me to use baby, yes, i’ll call you whatever you like”

“i’m not falling for that,” his soft, convincing face fell flat and his eyes went from hopeful right back to angry and endlessly frustrated

after a few moments standing there waiting for him to find a new game plan, you bit your lip and started messing with a few of his curls

“you ever miss me, lukey?” he pulled his head away from your hands, the gentle aspect of your touch giving him an unneeded reminder of  the fact that you could be a sweetheart, you were just choosing not to be

“not a chance in hell” you smiled to hide the pang in your chest, but he saw through you, holding the back of your head

“you’re always right here annoying me, hm? no time to miss you” he corrected, tracing circles on your scalp with his thumb. you poked your cheek with your tongue, looking down for a quick second before ultimately looking right back into his eyes, trying to read what he was thinking

this is what you assumed he was talking about when he used to always tell you he’d figure things out, that you’d always make up after a fight - that he’d look at you like this and see that you were struggling 

that he would feel what you were feeling for even just a split second and correct himself, even if he was lying, just to cover up the ache in your chest.

this, to you, was confirmation that he could read you like that. that he can see through any mask you put up and had truly just given up on you. 

he sighed, and you saw his eyes move to your lips, then back up to your eyes. he was leaning forward, and just like that, he was pulling away and clearing his throat.

“could you please delete the video for me? m’ sorry about how i spoke to you” your entire body felt cold without him against it, and you wished whatever thought in his mind that made him want to kiss you would’ve fucked off, so the two of you could’ve stayed pressed up against each other forever.

“i’m not that mean, lu. i’ll delete it” he smiled and ruffled your hair, walking away as quickly as possible.

it bears repeating; you were sure luke hughes was one of life’s greatest mysteries.

two

your favourite part about going to michigan, as well as being close with one of the sports teams, was the parties. 

you weren’t even sure how they pulled it off, but you couldn’t think of a single time you’d been invited to a umich party and didn’t have a night worth remembering (even if you could barely remember it).

tonight was no different, and it started with mark and ethan fighting over who got to be your partner in beer pong. 

you decided it would be a best of three challenge, and the loser was stuck with luke, who was notorious for only having aim once he was plastered enough to faint. the winner got to be with you, who had the ongoing win streak among the sophomores.

first was a game of rock paper scissors, that was promptly won by ethan, seeing as mark always went rock. 

he’d even mentioned before the challenge that he always lost since he always picked rock, so you’d told him to simply not pick rock - he did it anyways.

the second round was seeing who could shotgun the fastest, which was ultimately taken by mark when ethan got cocky and gave him a three second head start.

safe to say, mark had been almost done by the time ethan even had his lips over the hole in his can.

the third challenge was a headstand contest, mostly because you just wanted to see the two of them try to uphold a headstand for more than five seconds.

mark took that one on the guise that ethan had cheated and used the wall to keep himself up. if you could have made them both lose, you would have.

however, when you decided that ethan was in fact a cheater, mark cheered and tossed you over his shoulder, leading the group of you back to the beer pong table 

ethan was pouty about having to pair up with luke, and luke was pouty about having to be around you, but you and marks energies were off the charts regardless.

you all decided that you’d have to drink ethan’s cups, mark would have to drink luke’s, and vice versa.

luke started, and sunk one ball, but completely missed the other. 

mark quickly downed the drink and took the balls, missing the first off the rim of a bottom row cup, but sinking the second one perfectly. 

luke drank nonchalantly and handed the ball from his cup to ethan, who just barely missed both of his shots. you grinned to yourself, centring yourself to the table before taking your shot.

your turn was similar to marks, but your first ball had bounced just before the cup at the top row and landed into luke’s hand.

ethan drank the cup you got for your second shot, sending you a playful glare. 

“this should be you right now, marky. nobody said we couldn’t use the wall” you rolled your eyes, feeling mark sling his arm around your shoulders 

“i won fair and square, eddy. you’re just butthurt cause you suck at shotgunning and got too cocky” luke quickly took his turn so you’d all shut up, missing horribly on both shots.

you raised an eyebrow at him, silently wondering how his on ice hand eye coordination translated this horrendously in throwing a ping pong ball 

mark got two of his shots, but none in his balls back attempt, and luke quickly drank, a little more urgently this time around. 

ethan got one this time around, and you happily drank the contents of the cup, licking the foam of the beer from your lips once you were done. 

you also sunk two balls, but you got your second shot with balls back, leaving three cups on ethan and luke’s side and eight on yours.

ethan pouted before drinking his first cup, taking a short pause before cramming the next two one after the other. 

he caught his breath before looking over at you with beer dripping from his chin 

“i should’ve made hughesy drink your cups,” you giggled, and luke slapped him on the shoulder with a glare.

when the game came back around to you, they only had two cups left, and you got them both.

mark cheered loudly, rattling you around by your shoulders as you laughed at his reaction. 

you and mark had always been close. something about his energy just gave you the sense that you’d never have to stress about him. you were very much the ‘call each other babe platonically’ type of friends. 

he was easygoing and he just wanted to have a good time, but he was still a good friend if need be.

luke apparently hadn’t caught that memo, cause he looked like he was about ready to stab his teammate.

his jaw was clenched tight and he was just watching the two of you celebrate with complete dread on his face, while ethan finished off his beer

you picked up on it right away, and decided you’d chance luke being unbelievably pissed at you if it meant he might admit to himself he still had feelings for you.

“are we playing again?” you asked, looking up at mark who shook his head, pulling you away from the table.

“what? you want to get up to something else?” he grinned, earning a soft smile and a push to his chest.

“dance with me?” he nodded, grabbing one of the remaining cups from your side and pulling you towards the group of students essentially using the living room of soph house as a make out spot.

luke wasn’t one to dance, but mark was too drunk to care and you didn’t think he’d be leaving your side anytime soon, so you took advantage

he wasn’t half bad, the two of you mostly feeding off each other rather than the music. that was until his drink ran out, and he wanted another one.

“you want a beer, babe?” you nodded softly, tilting your head up and leaning it on his shoulder.

he smiled, kissing you on the cheek and noting that he’d be right back, quickly disappearing into the swarm of bodies towards one of the coolers.

“mark? really?” it was luke.

rather than bite back, you went with it, knowing he might be more annoyed if he thought you were genuinely going out with mark

you hummed, turning to face him. “he’s a sweetheart. maybe you could learn a thing or two” both of you knew that what you were saying was utter bullshit. regardless, luke was irked.

“are we thinking of the same mark?” he slid a finger into the belt loop of your jeans and pulled you forward, keeping you close to him and simultaneously letting you know his strength.

“handsome? fluffy hair? pretty solid with his mouth?” luke scoffed, looking behind you to make sure mark wasn’t almost back.

when his eyes came back down to yours they were dark, and he was wearing a harsh glare.

“you wouldn’t. you’re not” you smiled, almost giggling at him

“yeah, but i would, though. is your new girlfriend not at this party? thought i saw her working one of the football players. is this your thing? getting one upped by other athletes? is there an embarrassment kink im not aware of?”

before you could say anything else, his hand was over your mouth and he was grumbling at you to shut up

“not that it’s any of your business, i broke up with her. you need to start watching your fucking mouth” you pulled away from his hand, but he still had a tight grip on your jaw.

“if it was full maybe i’d stop talking,” you smiled, your facial expression almost challenging him

he licked his lips, thumb swiping over yours slightly in a way that made your heart jump out of your chest

he was leaning in and pulling your face to an angle where he could connect your lips, before his eyes flashed up and he saw mark coming back with a beer in one hand and a full bottle of liquor in the other.

“maybe your sweetheart mark will be up for that” he gave your jaw a squeeze before pushing your face away from his and walking off.

you put on a smile, turning around to see mark taking a swig of straight vodka.

“my lady,” he grinned, handing you your beer

you bit the cap off, drinking some of it before you hummed, pulling him towards you by the collar and resuming your dancing, back to his chest

“gimme some of that,” he giggled, putting the bottle in his hand up to your lips and guiding you through your swig

“luke came n’ saw you?” you nodded

“yeah.”

three

one of your favourite things to do in your free time was barge into soph house with absolutely no warning.

today, it was cause you and your other roommate had been momentarily kicked out of yours and your older sister's shared apartment so she had it to herself for her one year anniversary.

you announced your arrival when you walked in, your friend trailing behind you awkwardly while the boys shouted simultaneous greetings from the living room

“i brought a friend. it’s my sister's anniversary and there’s a metaphorical sock on our door,” your comment earned you chuckles from the group, and when you walked into the living room you scanned the furniture to see if there were two open spaces.

luke had been sitting by himself, mackie and dylan were sharing the loveseat, and ethan and mark were sharing the bigger couch. 

you tilted your head and squinted at ethan, who had been taking up two and a half cushions. he grinned in return, further stretching himself out so he’d been getting into marks personal space as well.

you opted to physically drag ethan from his spot, over so he’d just been taking up one cushion instead

he glared at you playfully, fighting back against your pushing until you were stuck pushing back against each other, causing the both of you to break out into laughter and for you to fall onto the couch

“scootch, edwards,” you worked out in between giggles, finally getting him to move over and sitting up yourself so there was some room for your friend 

when she sat, it was almost on top of you, since the couch wasn’t meant for four, and you could almost sense luke’s ears perking up like a dog being offered a treat

“you know if there’s not enough room over there i’m more than happy to share” he patted his lap, looking right at your roommate with a smirk playing at his lips.

you were quick to glare at him and shut the idea down, while mark pulled you into his own lap so your friend would have enough room, and hopefully so you and luke would drop it. 

your friend adjusted and then eyed luke, and then you

“i take it that’s luke,” you immediately slapped her arm and glared at her, knowing this would give luke enough ammunition to piss you off for however long you were at sophomore house 

you couldn’t even properly find time to warn him to forget he ever heard that before it started. 

“aw, baby, you tell your friends about me?” you smiled sarcastically, feeling mark grab the back of your shirt so you didn’t lunge at his teammate

“fuck right off, warren,” luke’s jaw ticked, and he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by dylan 

“i’ll sit on your lap, lukey!” the group laughed, and luke tried to hide his smile. 

the sophomores had become extremely accustomed to changing the subject or interrupting you and luke when the two of you fought, seeing as you were over most days of the week

now that the room had become less tense, everyone was partaking in their own conversations.

you, ethan, mark and your friend had been talking about a class the four of you shared, while mackie, dylan and luke talked about the upcoming series against minnesota.

that continued until you felt your phone go off in your back pocket and pulled it out to see a text from your sister, telling you that you could make your way back to the apartment.

below it, to your shock, was a silenced text from luke.

from, luke hughes → kitchen?

to, luke hughes → ?

you looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed and heart pounding, and he was already looking at you.

you blinked and moved your eyes away, turning your head to mark who’d been deep in concentration listening to ethan.

“hey, my sister texted, we’re gonna get going” that caught the attention of dylan and ethan, which made mackie turn his head, and, well, luke had already been staring at you.

mark frowned, caging his arms around your waist to hug you. 

“it’s still early, you can stay,” you heard a jumble of voices agreeing with mark’s statement, and you could feel luke’s gaze burning through you.

you looked down at your roommate and she shrugged, since she’d accustomed pretty well to the sophomores already and wasn’t exactly dying to leave

“i’ll stay for free beer?” luke smiled to himself and made his way to the kitchen quietly, knowing nobody would really notice him while they were cheering at your words

you offered to go get everyone their bottles and got up, ruffling marks hair slightly before you walked over to their fridge and took out six beer, luke already sipping on one.

“you ask me over here to argue without getting interrupted?” luke grinned softly, taking three of the bottles and setting them on the island along with his own, nodding for you to do the same with the other three

you complied, and as soon as they hit the counter you were being backed up into it, his hips pinning you and his arms locking you in place 

“i just wanted to talk,” he explained, looking down at you with a sweet gaze that made your stomach turn 

“you know, you could’ve had mackie or duker sit on the other couch, fuck, you could’ve even pulled up a chair from the island or sat on the ground! but you just let him pull you into his lap like you're his?”

you rolled your eyes, trying to push his arm off the counter so you could squeeze away from him and bring everyone their drinks, but his grip tightened. 

“i’m talking to you, y/n,” he added pressure with his body so he could use a hand to make you look at him.

“how many times do i have to tell you i’m not sleeping with any of your friends?” you defended and he shrugged 

“i never said you were, i just pointed out that you two seem real fucking comfortable with each other lately,”

you sighed and cupped his neck with both hands, thumbs messing with the curls that fell behind his ears

“lu, nothings happening. nothing's going to happen. im not fucking mark just like you’re not actually gonna fuck my roommate,”

he didn’t react much, just kept staring into your eyes. 

“if not my friends then who are you with?” you smiled and shook your head 

“none of your business, hughesy.” he laughed dryly and moved his hand from your jaw around to the back of your neck, your faces so close his nose was brushing against yours.

your eyes both drifted to each other's lips, and you cleared your throat and backed your head away before he could kiss you. 

he moved off you and grabbed his beer, standing on the other side of the kitchen, now.

“maybe i’ll see you around your place, y/n,” he smirked before looking over at your roommate who was laughing at something dylan had said, and heading back to the living room 

“you wouldn’t,” you yelled after him.

“i would!” he called back, leaving you to groan to yourself and pick up the beers for everyone 

four

“adam! shea!” you smiled, trying to stand up off the bench you were on to go greet your friends, but tripping over the air and immediately deciding that you would be staying on the bench.

the two boys gave each other weird looks across the street from you, deciding to make their way over.

the two boys being luca and shea, who were obviously quite confused.

once they made their way there, they came to the conclusion that you were incredibly, extremely, outstandingly drunk.

“i want whatever she’s having,” luca chuckled, knowing he and his brother did not look alike in the slightest.

seamus slapped him up the back of the head, helping you to sit up properly and then taking his own place beside you to support your torso.

“dude, shut up. call mark, or eddy, even. we don’t know how long she’d been here” you were looking up at him, absolutely delirious and telling him about your childhood pet hamster that was named casey (like him!)

mark was down at the bus stop you were all sitting at in record time, now kneeling in front of you and trying to get an answer out of you as to why you were mind-blowingly wasted at two pm on a tuesday

when you just continued to murmur about nonsense, luca spoke up

“maybe we should bring her to luke?” seamus and mark both turned their heads to him very slowly, eyebrows raised and annoyance glaringly obvious in their eyes, and he lifted his arms in defence 

“i’m just saying! notice how all of their arguing is like, ultra petty? he never says anything that actually means shit. he definitely knows what's going on with her,”

they both thought about it, ultimately coming to the conclusion that it couldn’t do anymore harm than good - luke wasn’t a big enough dick to punch down, so maybe luca was right.

they looked at each other, “this is the worst idea anyone has ever had in the entire history of the university of michigan,” shea stated, already helping you onto your feet and having luca hold you up from the other side

“yeah,” mark nodded, texting luke a very vague message so that he’d be home and in the living room once the four of you got to soph house.

when you did, it was safe to say luke really did not want to have any part of it.

“no.” he shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest while he watched you fuss with seamus when he tried to set you on the wrong couch cushion, apparently. 

“wh-” mark tried to plead his case, but couldn’t even get a word out.

“no. not a chance, mark, just have her sleep it off, or something,” the two of them watched as luca brought you a water and you tried to convince him that you did have a water, only for him to open the lid and be hit with the smell of liquor. 

“hear me out,” mark started, giving luke a hopeful look and earning a confirming eye roll in return

“your friend needs help, and-” 

“your friend”

“fine, be like that! your ex, that you’re still in love with, by the way, needs help, and you’re the only one of us that has a chance in hell at knowing what it is that made her drink away her brain on a random fucking weekday, by herself, on the street,”

the room went silent, and even you had stopped rambling upon hearing the tone mark was using.

“so, if you could please just fucking talk to her for a minute to see if she gives you an idea? something? tells you what’s up? that would be glorious, luke,” 

luke clenched his jaw but looked over at you for a quick second, caving and nodding slightly 

“i’ll talk to her. alone, though,” he grumbled, and mark patted his shoulder, nodding to luca and seamus to go over to the kitchen 

he sat next to you, and you looked up at him, bringing your knees to your chest. 

“are you okay, y/n/n?” he asked softly, tilting his head at you. you blinked, clearly on the verge of blacking out

“luke,” you stated simply, earning a sad smile from him 

“what did i tell you about drinking to forget, hm?” he reached around you, burying his hand in your hair and massaging your scalp gently 

“said no,” you replied, barely above a whisper. you were hiding from his gaze, now.

he watched you for a moment, trying to see if there was anything on you to help him out. 

his eyebrows furrowed at the sight of your phone case, the polaroid that had been in the back of it since before he knew you now flipped so you couldn’t see what it was.

“can i see that?” he asked, pointing to your phone.

you handed it to him reluctantly, watching as he peeled the case off and slid the picture out from under it.

it was a picture of you and your father. you were just a baby, and your dad had been wearing a party hat and feeding you a bite of cake 

the back read; dads 31st birthday! 02/07/04

he turned your phone around and knocked his knuckle against the screen, reading the date once it lit up

tuesday, february 7

“oh, baby. cmere,” he mumbled, pulling you into his lap gently and holding your head to his chest.

your body shook against his as you sobbed, still painfully aware of the occasion no matter how inebriated you were

he held you still until you calmed down, and when he opened up the shield he’d made with his arms he found that you were sound asleep against him, face beet red and soaked with tears

he adjusted you slowly, lifting your arms around his shoulders so he could carry you without waking you up.

he looked over to mark who nodded with an appreciative smile, then carefully carried you upstairs and towards his room.

he set you down and took off your shoes, then grabbed a water bottle and some medicine for you, setting them down and slipping into bed next to you. 

you found your way to his chest and slept peacefully while he zoned out, brushing his hand through your hair soothingly.

when you did wake up, it was slowly and difficultly. it had been a few hours, your mouth felt dry and your head felt heavy.

you felt dizzy, but not from the hangover. from luke, holding you close to him.

you let out a noise of confusion, and luke stiffened, looking down at you.

rather than pay mind to the millions of emotions coursing through him, he decided to focus on sitting you up and getting you to drink some water.

you just listened, waiting to ask what the hell had happened until after you were feeling a little less undead.

“uh, luca and shea found you by one of the bus stops. you called luca adam, so they came up to you, n called mark” you looked down, tears brimming your eyes.

“oh.. okay,” you whispered, fidgeting with your own fingers awkwardly.

he gave you a minute to compose yourself before setting the polaroid on your lap 

“he would’ve been fifty today,” he stated softly, looking at where your eyes would have been had you been facing him.

you wiped your face roughly, groaning to yourself while luke silently begged you to look at him

“maybe we can take a little trip to go see him, yeah? i’ll stop at the store and we can get him a card n’ some flowers,” he offered, rubbing your upper back soothingly 

“you’d do that for me?”

“i would. or i can explain everything to mark, and he can take you, if you wanted?” you shook your head quickly 

“no. no, uh,” you sniffled, taking the water he’d gotten you from his night stand and sipping carefully from it 

“the whole reason i like being around him so much is that he doesn’t know everything, and he doesn’t need to know everything,” you explained, finally looking up at him with glossy eyes and a red nose

“i can zone out for a minute and he won’t ask me if i’m okay, he’ll just slap the back of my head and tell me i need a nap,” you chuckled 

you’d made it a point to keep the shitty aspects of your life away from mark. 

he knew you’d been through a lot, but he didn’t know any details and he never asked about it, respecting your boundaries 

“it’s easy around him, you know?” luke nodded slightly, a questioning look in his eyes 

“i wish it could’ve been that simple with you, but there are things that cant be kept from a partner the way they can from a friend, it’s different,” 

the two of you sat in silence for a minute, luke having opened the bottle of ibuprofen for you and handing you two to take 

once you sipped away the weird feeling in your throat with water, you gave him a hopeful look

“are you still up to take me?” he smiled sadly and nodded, slowly moving from his bed and over to his closet.

“here,” he handed you a hoodie and his varsity jacket, nodding in a way that told you to put them on. 

you stood carefully and put the sweater on, overwhelmed by the smell of him lingering on the collar 

the jacket was both too big on you but a perfect fit, the bottom landing a little above your knees and the sleeves covering up to the tips of your fingers 

you put your shoes back on and gave him a look before going over to the bathroom, scanning the counter until you found something that could suffice as a face wash 

you pulled your sleeves up and washed the mascara from your cheeks, then grabbed a clean towel to pat your face dry.

you went to go cup your hands under the cool water to drink before some mouthwash, but you spotted the toothbrush you kept here while you’d been dating luke in his corner of things 

your lips parted and you blinked, almost thinking it would go away once you opened your eyes again. 

when it didn’t, you took the cover off the top of it to find it in the same condition you left it, so you rinsed it well before using it. 

luke walked out of his shared room, now in a hoodie of his own, and froze when he saw you

you avoided his eyes, pulling your hair from your face while you spat out the toothpaste and then rinsed your mouth with water. 

you pulled your sleeves back down and walked over to where he was waiting on the stairs, flicking the light off and keeping your head down 

“i, uh, just kept forgetting to toss it,” he cleared his throat, eyes flashing over to you and quickly moving away

you just nodded, making your way down the stairs and seeing the three boys who had brought you home playing video games on the couch

shea was the first to notice you, smiling to himself at the sight of you drowning in luke’s clothes.

he nudged marks knee with his own to grab his attention, nodding over to you and luke who’d been awkwardly standing there

mark looked up and grinned at you, setting his controller down and getting up to trap you in a bear hug

“how’s the head, dumbass,” you smiled bashfully, resting your face against his chest and hugging him back 

“throbbing. thanks for coming to get me,” he hummed in response, ruffling your hair and moving away from you 

“you’re bringing her home?” mark asked, eyes directed at luke

he looked at you and you answered for him

“we’re going on a little road trip. be back in a few hours,” mark tried his best not to let glee take over his face too obviously.

he sent luke a knowing look, a callback to their earlier conversation where mark had outright exposed him for still being in love with you

you smiled and waved to shea and luca, who returned the favour, luca yelling after you as you walked away with a “you kids have fun! wear protection!” which earned him a slap on the head from seamus. 

the drive to the grocery store was quiet, luke’s bluetooth playing quietly through the speakers of his car and you humming along to some of the songs you knew.

the two of you opted to grab something to eat from the deli as well, and luke offered to pay for both the meals and the card and flowers you’d gotten for your dad.

you were reluctant, but he had blocked you away from the debit machine when it was presented to you, so you settled for slipping a twenty into the pocket of his jacket so he’d get it whenever you took it off and gave it back.

you weren’t opposed to the silence, but sharing it with luke did make it a little more uncomfortable than it should’ve been.

you were dreadfully aware that the two of you did need to have a good talk, and work out whatever it was that had torn your friendship to bits after the breakup, but maybe that's better off happening later on.

when he pulled into the parking lot at the cemetery your dad had been buried at, you looked over at him before getting out

“thank you for doing this for me, lu,” he nodded sweetly, mumbling a soft “of course, baby,” in response

your heart fluttered at his tone, as well as the genuine use of ‘baby’, and you gave him a close-lipped smile before opening the door to his car and grabbing your things, waiting for him to get out with you.

the two of you walked to your dads headstone, sitting on the grass by it and laying the flowers and the card.

“if you want a minute by yourself, i can-” you grabbed his hand before he could move to stand up, shaking your head and looking up at him with teary eyes 

“just, stay,” you breathed out, and he nodded, wrapping his free arm around you and squeezing the hand that he’d been holding 

you cried silently, staring at the stone with tears streaming down your face, leaving lines of red from the irritated skin.

you felt luke start to gently brush his thumb along your knuckles, and you grimaced to yourself, looking down into your lap to try and keep yourself together 

luke frowned, pulling you into his lap and cradling your head, one hand still holding yours 

you took a deep breath, torso shaking as you squeezed his hand like you’d been getting your first tattoo.

when you looked up at him, you saw the luke you knew at the beginning of your relationship, and not the one you constantly bickered with. 

he pushed his nose next to yours, lips nearly brushing against each others, but he waited for you to initiate it. 

instead, you pulled away and tried to move away from his hug, heart aching in your chest and guilt taking over your head 

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, opting to lean your head into his neck since he hadn’t loosened his grip. 

“no, it’s.. it’s okay, y/n,” he sounded unsure, but the words eased your mind nonetheless 

“i can’t go through what we did again, i can’t keep going in that circle, luke, we suck for each other,” you explained, pulling your hand from his and beginning to mess with the sleeves of his jacket 

“i can be better at that, y/n/n, i want to help,” you shook your head, finally managing to move off him 

“you said that last time, and you lied. i don’t blame you, luke, i was shitty too. but i think we’re better off as friends,”

he pursed his lips, nodding. he knew you were right. 

+ one

“have you ever been to an nhl game before?” ellen asked, getting soup ready for quinn, who was recovering on the couch. 

“uh, no, and i hardly had time to pay attention to any of the wolverines games, i was always editing,” you chuckled awkwardly, knowing your knowledge of crowds at sporting events was very limited and you’d likely be caught sitting with jim looking incredibly confused. 

you knew you would feel out of place, especially at a playoff game. 

luke wasn't even aware that you were in new jersey, let alone that you’d be in attendance to his first playoff game.

you had finals and things to do for the team’s media page during his first nhl games, and though you weren’t dating, you knew he wanted you there for them due to the devils jersey he had sent you after he signed his contract.

not only did you still have things to do in ann arbor, but you definitely could not afford a place to stay or plane tickets to new jersey.

then, ellen had messaged you with the news that she’d be stuck babying quinn for the next while, and offered you her ticket to the game along with help for your plane tickets.

truly, it was the least she could do, as her son hadn’t shut up about you since the moment she got to newark, and she could no longer stand hearing him complain about how much he missed you, only to correct everyone when they referred to you as his girlfriend.

the game could not have been anymore hectic. it ended 8-4 devils, but with four combined short handed goals, the canes rookie goalie being subbed in, and luke getting two points.

the rock was loud, but the energy felt less overwhelming over time and you got used to the cheers and yelling eventually.

you went with jim to wait for jack and luke, neither of which were expecting you.

jack came out first, and completely neglected his father as he greeted you with a hug, asking how you’d been and when you got to town.

you were still hugging when luke made his way out, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of a pair of arms around his brother’s waist.

when he got close enough to see that it was you, you were promptly pulled away from jack and lifted into luke’s arms, feet a few inches off the ground from how tightly he’d been hugging onto you.

“oh, jesus. hi, lukey,” you giggled, squeezing him back just as tight. you hadn’t been wearing the jersey, knowing the broadcasts had a tendency to pan to jim up in the stands and not wanting to make a big deal out of it

“how long have you been in jersey? how did you get here? where did you get the ticket, y/n, what the fuck” he rambled, a big smile etched onto his face during the whole ordeal.

he set you down but kept his arms around you, rocking the two of you back and forth while his older brother and dad watched in amusement.

your face went completely serious, and you tried to keep it that way as you spoke “oh, well, i came down to help with quinn after his tonsils and your mom offered me her ticket,” luke shook his head, ruffling your hair and holding your head to his chest 

“i hate you,” he mumbled as you laughed against him.

“no, you don’t” you pulled back a few inches, grabbing his wrist and leading him to the exit jack and jim had already started making their way to.

“no, i don’t,” he pulled back on your wrist, bringing you back into his chest so the two of you were looking at each other.

he lowered his face and kissed you, and for how long overdue it was, he was very tame.

it was gentle, and slow, and he’d been gliding his hands up and down your hips soothingly. your hands came up behind his neck to mess with the hair at its nape and you pulled away for air, but went right back in.

when the two of you finally pulled away completely, luke was blushing madly and you were hiding away in his neck.

“that’s.. certainly one way to prove it,” you breathed out, chuckling slightly.

“can i prove it some more on the way home?” he raised an eyebrow, tilting your head back up to face him.

“with your brother driving us? you wouldn’t,” he grinned, shaking his head.

“i would. you underestimate how long i’ve been waiting for that,”

[makncheese12]

Top Shelf

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Jenna Ortega x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: being the kid of a well-known book store owner was easy, so was running into famous people. But being book smart doesn’t make everyone people smart.

Warnings: my writing, language(bad words😯), my attempt at being funny, mention of gun shots and head shots, mentions of my favorite book(literally love Ruta Sepetys sm omg.

A/N: part 2? I am going to make you all suffer through the most oblivious slow burn. R if going to be so dumb/oblivious it’ll hurt you all🫶🏻

Word count - 3.6k

Credits: @novmoth (my friend from school who feeds into my delusions and gives me more ideas for this story🫶🏻)

(bare with me English is not my first language🥲 I’m getting help from my friend to edit it)

You were born to it.

The books. The films. The music and video games.

It was your life, literally. With your parents being owners of the infamous establishment called ‘top shelf’, you had no choice but to.

And you wouldn’t ever change.

Books upon books, movie after movie, games old and new and music that could last you weeks. Who would want to change such a life?

Your father was the first to start it.

He was poor man in Washington but had just enough money to buy it from the man who owned the small movie shop before he retired. He slowly started added book shelves and video games to the mix. Getting few customers but enough to survive day to day during the time of his early years

Your mother was a wealthy run away. Wanting something different and new in her life when she met your father. The man was playing on his game boy behind the counter before he saw her.

The poor boy and his run away wife, a classic really.

The rest after that is history.

As soon as they found out your mother was pregnant with you, they used the rest of her money they saved and went to New York where they bought the huge abandoned apartment complex.

They broke all the insides down and built what you now know as your second home. Hundreds of video games, films and music in one section and thousands of books in another.

Thus, Top Shelf was born only two weeks after you.

You met many friends there in the comfort section where students and business people worked as you all goofed off.

Your had also met your small friend group during your younger years, the four of you all never letting your father have the peace he wanted and dragging him all over New York.

With the thousands of books and hundreds of video games and films your parents sold, you had money. Lots of it.

But your mother made sure you never let that get the best of you, never. It went against everything she went for when she ran away.

She would make sure you would work for and earn everything you got, always.

She never let you have too much online activity, in case her family found you and made sure you were both street smart and book smart.

Your neighbors made sure you were street smart more than anything but you still gave her credit for trying.

Though, the book store was beautiful in every season. Winter was a favorite and when it was busiest. It was too your favorite.

Your father lighting the public fire place, your mother setting soft seasonal music, hell even the cheesy Christmas cartoons on the TV’s set the mood for the perfect bookstore vibe.

The lights dim just enough to where it almost felt like dark academy yet the plants that grew down the upstairs railing made the entire place feel more alive.

————

“Bullshit!” You yell out as you throw your head back onto the head rest of your chair, groaning loudly as the photo sound of your death snapped in your ears.

“Man, he’s fucking using cheats!” Dru calls out through the mic before his name pops up above to yours in dark red on the screen as you respawn.

“Of course he is, he’s a pussy.” Mj says, as her name, too, pops up on the screen.

“Oh come on, guys!” Lyle says through his staticky mic. “You all just suck.” He laughs

“Now I know your cheating, dude. Your mic is acting up again, just like last time!” Dru says, the sound of his voice booming louder than needed and you roll my eyes.

“DD, just because you like to replay games without using cheats doesn’t mean the rest of us do.” Lyle says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“It’s multiplayer, stupid! It’s meant to be fair for everyone!” Dru says making you snort. “Says the guy who chases around little kids and steals their horses making them cry.” Mj says making Dru blow into his mic making loud, unnecessary noises.

“Quit that!” You say taking one head phone off your ear. “Tsk tsk tsk,” Lyle starts. “Such a sore loser.”

“I’ll show you sore loser, get on Elden ring and we’ll test your irritation.” Dru says, mic now muffled by his own spit.

“Your tank build is not enough to stop me, comet azur will always save the day.” He says in a sing-song voice.

“And you call me a try hard, yet you’re the one always using a broken spell.” Dru complains. “Theres nothing I have to try hard at when I can just hold a simple button.” The sound of Dru’s groans become louder as his spit clears out from his Mic. “Same thing!”

You laugh once again before picking up your phone and looking at the time.

“Shit!” Your eyes go wide at the sight, 8:48 AM.

You quickly throw the head set off and push yourself out of the chair, opening your closet grabbing a quick pair of jeans and a hoodie before rushing to put it all on.

Your cat skids across the floor, startled by your sudden movements before a crashing in the your pile of books and out the door.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble as you jump up and down to put on your shoes, failing at not falling and race toward the door. “Sorry!” You call to your cat who yells at you next to his food bowl.

You grab your keys and rush out the door before slamming it shut and locking it.

“Ay, y/n!” Your neighbor, Rosa, shouts from beside her door. “Quiet will you! I just put Nona to sleep!” She yells raising her news paper tapping your head with it.

“Sorry! sorry, Señora Rosa.” You whisper yell as you try to push her weaponized hand away. “I’m just a little late.”

“And I just got a moment of peace! Quiet!” She says giving you one last wack making you try and shrink away from her as you rush toward the stairs.

“You got your pepper spray, right?” She calls and you raise your key chain to show her the attached small can. “¡Buena niña!”

You rush down the stairs and push passed the glass door, almost slipping on the ice before running down the street.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket making you quickly take it out.

“Hello?” You ask without knowing who it was.

“Arthur Morgan would be very disappointed at your sudden disappearance from an important mission.” Lyle says before sighing.

“It’s multiplayer, there are no main missions.” You say, trying to avoid the ice on the ground before stopping at the red hand across the street. “Plus, we were in the middle of four way 1v1. He’d be more upset that we were going against each other.”

“Loyalty is everything in such a game,” he says, sarcasm in his voice and you imagine him shaking his head. “Of course he would be upset at my bullet in DD’s head.”

“Why’d you call me exactly?” You ask watching the hand turn into a green man walking before taking off again.

“Well, you just yelled ‘shit!’ Before disappearing on us, had to make sure someone didn’t break in and kill you.” He replies casually as if he knew that weren’t the case. “But after hearing you continue on your ‘shit’ rant and the door slam I figured it was okay, just had to call and make sure, y’know?”

“Ever heard of a text, loser?” You ask, barley missing a man walking and looking down at his phone. “Gross,” he says before making a gagging noise. “why waste such time typing when I can simply just hit one button?”

“You’re so lazy.” You laugh out loud as you run across another street. “Work smarter not harder, Y/N. You should know this with that big brain of yours.”

“What if I want to work both smarter and harder?” You ask, running up to the glass window to see the books lined up. “Well, then your just weird.” You roll your eyes.

“Just kidding. I guess you can do both, I just personally prefer the alternative.” He says as the sound of guns shooting fills the phone. “Yeah, also sorry about leaving.” You say pushing into the store being greeting with the familiar smell of books and the warm smile of my mother.

“I forgot I had to get ready for work.”

“You’re at top shelf?” He ask and you reply with a ‘mhm’. “I might stop by later to say hello actually, I need a new game anyway.” He laughs as the sound of Dru yelling in the back ground becomes more prominent.

“Sounds good, see you loser” You say as you take your sweat shirt off, leaving you in your tank top you hand before leaving. “Later,” you hear him say before hanging up.

“Good morning,” you hear your mother say as you pull the staff sweat shirt over your head and pull up your sleeves. “Mornin’,” you reply before kissing her cheek.

“Wheres dad?” You ask looking around before your eyes setting on the woman stack a pile of books into one pile.

“He’s going to be out of town for a few days,” she says carrying the pile to the check back station. “A vacation, I insisted as I continue your training.” She says making you smile.

“We both know he needs it, he’s getting older.” She says and your smile fades as you nod. “So are you.” You mumble and she, too, nods.

“You know him getting old is different from me getting old.” She states, sighing quietly.

“What’s todays task?” You ask, quickly changing the subject at the sight of her sad frown. She looks at you for a moment before smiling once again.

She moves to storage closet and unlocks it, allowing you to see the boxes upon boxes along with stacks of different other things.

“To be a good store owner, you have to know your customers.” She says returning with a large box that you quickly take from her.

“Just put it on that table — and to know your customers, you must socialize and help them throughout the store.” She finishes as you take the box to the table noticing the label romance written across it.

“That also means having to work while helping the customers, so you’ll be on stock duty as well.” She says with a smile.

Yes.

You mentally say to yourself. Stock duty required work of you finding the places of different books, movies and games which also meant finding new things you didn’t know about before.

“One more thing,” you mother says as she walks behind the counter to finish opening up the store. “No head phones.” Your eyes go wide.

“But ma!” You call out to the lady who switches the sign from closed to open. “What else am I supposed to do when I stock!” You call, holding onto the white cords and swinging them around.

“Help the customers and socialize.” She laughs out making you frown. “I should call CPS.” You mumble carrying the box to the sorted area before hearing the woman’s laugh.

“Sure, call ahead but don’t be disappointed when they decline a twenty year old.”

You roll your eyes before continuing down the aisle.

“And after you sort those, get the others out of the storage closet!” You huff quietly as you glance back with a small playful glare on your face.

“If I wanted to work out, I would have gone to the gym.” You say and she rolls her eyes. “You’ll be just as sore in the morning, trust me.”

————

Hours hand passed, since you last seen the romance box having moved on to the horror section of the films.

You search through their placement areas, looking at all the old cinematic master pieces, the many Dracula films placed neatly next to each other, in order of both year and name.

Horror was one of the favorites when coming here, your father being a collected through his years he had many people couldn’t get their hands on.

Sure you could watch it online now but where’s the fun in that when you have a real copy with the static noises and written voices on screen. Some people still had some class left in them.

You hear a book hit the floor making the library echo as heads turned toward the cause of the sudden interruption of their silence.

“Shit—” You hear someone say quietly, making you roll your eyes as you place the rest of the CD’s in their rightful places before making your way toward the aisle the noise came from.

You subtly make your way toward the aisle while acting like your checking the books before taking a peek around the corner.

You see a rather short girl — shorter than the third shelf — craning her neck to look up at all the books in front of her.

Just to your luck, your mother placed a box for that genre next to the end of the shelf and you picked it up.

You make your way down the aisle and set the box toward the middle before looking up the girl who was already staring, and boy was she something.

Freckles littered across her tan skin, strands of her short hair fell from her half up half down style, her eyes — damn her eyes — they were the prettiest brown you’ve ever seen.

You smile lightly before picking up the first book and reading both the authors name and the title while trying to slow down your racing heart.

Who was this girl? Matter of fact, what was she? She wasn’t a regular, that’s for sure but you always get random people coming in so it didn’t exactly matter.

After putting away a few books, you glance up to see the girl a few feet away and on her tippy toes, reaching for a book on the fifth or sixth shelf.

You snorted quietly catching the girls attention making you quickly look away to keep yourself from laughing.

“You think this is funny?” She asks and you begin shaking in quiet laughter.

After a few moments, you compose yourself and stand shaking your head.

“No, not at all. Would you like some help?” You ask taking step toward her. She narrows her eyes. “Are you making fun of me right now?” She asks, both amusement and annoyance in her voice.

“Why would I do that? It’s poor customer service.” You say with a smile before watching her own smile grow.

“It’s poor customer service to laugh at a customer.” She mumbles before stepping back. “Please.” You walk up and grab the book.

“Look how easy that was.” She says, taking the book you held out for her. “Being six-foot-two does have its perks.” She says looking over the back of the book.

You roll your eyes but your smile only grows. Looking down at the book you nod and raise your eye brows, “that’s a good one, read it a few years back.” You say, making your way back to box of books.

“I’d hope so, for all the work I had to do to try and get it.” She mumbles making you smile and shake your head. “Anything else good?” She asks, looking down to you.

“You’re asking me if there’s anything else good in here when there’s just by the look of it thousands of books here?” You ask, smirking at her when she rubs the back of her neck.

“Yes, there is, I’ve read more than I can count. My recommendation board is up by the front desk if you want to check it out.” You say before placing crave by Tracy Wolff into the slot.

“You must have come here a lot before working then? If you’ve read so many books from here.” She asks, following hot on your trail with the book tucked between her arm. “Oh, for sure,” you say nodding. “The owners and I are real close, we were together a whole nine months before I was born.”

Her eyes widen slightly at the information. “You’re parents own this place?” She asks, gesturing to the entire book store and you nod, smiling.

It felt like you were a teenage boy, flaunting his muscles to a girl he finds attractive.

“Wow,” she says looking around once again. Book still tucked tightly into her arm as she did so. “Just wow. Your parents have taste.”

“More like their people pleasers.” You say shaking your head. The real other reason why horror is so popular in the movie section is because of their request.

Every week they check their request list and buy everything people ask for. New books, new movies, new music and games, there’s always something new. You’re surprised there’s still room, then again the place would be as big you supposed.

“They like having their customers choice their number one priority. It’s good business.” You say looking up to the girl who had a look of wonder in her eyes as she stared down at you but there was also something else. Something you couldn��t quite place.

She stares at you for another moment before speaking again, “do you.. know who I am?” She asks and your furrow your eye brows in question.

“Should I?” You ask tilting your head. She stares for another moment again, eyes scanning your face and it’s features as if searching for something.

Her smile then grows, as she shakes her head. “You shouldn’t, or rather shouldn’t have to. It’s just a surprise.” She says, tucking her hair behind her ear.

You knit your eye brows together in confusion.

She walks out of the aisle and you catch the light smile on her face as she does.

What the hell? You wonder to yourself as you place the last few books away.

You were pretty sure that was the last section, unless your mother put out some more stuff you didn’t notice. You’d just check out the to-do list.

Your mother and father always had one for both you and their own sake. Adding things so no one would forget.

As you made your way to check out, you see the girl walking in the general distraction as well.

“All set?” You ask, placing the box inside the others, moving past the small door attached to the low counter.

“Yep,” she says once again staring at you.

You take the book you got for her earlier along with another you recognize almost immediately. “Between shades of gray?” You ask, looking at her as if she were serious.

“Your description seemed trust worthy enough to make me interested.” You glance over to see your board clearly flipped through before nodding.

You scan both books. “Careful, it’s sad, dark and traumatic. It’s one of my favorites though.” You say looking up at her, she pauses for a moment, staring at you once again and just smiles and shakes her head.

“I think I can deal with a few of those.”

“Bartering or buying?” You ask. “Bartering,” she replies and you nod. “Good, I need to get a review on what you think.” You say with a smirk and you see a glint of something in her eyes.

“Name?” You ask and she looks at you a little confused. “We have to know whose using our books, how else do you think we send emails threatening to charge or get them back?” You snort.

“Oh, your totally right.” she says quietly before taking out her credit card.

“Jenna Ortega..” she says and you nod, typing in the name before reaching for the credit. Her grip on the card tightens at your lack of response.

You pull the card gently but her grip is to hard for you to take.

“Can I… get the card?” You ask, looking around slightly uncomfortably with the stone like stare she was giving you.

“Are you sure you don’t know who I am?” She asks letting go allowing you to swipe the card.

“Again, should I?”

You both stare at each other, both confused and entrapped by the other.

You find is strange how she thinks you know who she is or why you don’t know her.

Maybe she was some big deal somewhere off and you still have yet to hear about her.

Her name did ring a bell but you weren’t sure. Was she a person you knew from your child hood? An old friend trying to reconnect? Maybe some relative on your moms sent by the older ones to investigate if it was really you.

“Miss Ortega?” You’re both broken out of your thoughts as two large men stand behind her. “Time to go.” he says gesturing to a few people who were standing and staring in your general direction.

One grabs the bag off the counter before quickly walking towards the door.

“Looks like I gotta go,” she says, smile now suddenly shy with others watching. “Don’t worry, I’ll return your book Y/N.” She says before walking toward the door, one of the men right behind her.

“Yeah, you bet-“ you pause after the the realization hits you. “Wait, how’d you-?” You begin to ask before watching her gesture to her chest.

You knit your eyebrows together, you look down to see the name tag right under the library symbol.

She was strange.. cute.. but strange

Read next sort here!

A/N : Some parts once again rushed🧍🏽‍♀️This is just an introduction I suppose, the details will get better I tried my hardest🥲

[astermath]

 “So? Whatever.” pt.3

pairing: dave lizewski x popular!fem!reader

summary: you and dave grow closer and you both share stories and secrets. one faithful night, when he’s got nowhere else to go, he reveals his biggest one.

word count: 1.7K

warnings: mentions of blood and injuries

♡ LANDING PAGE ♡

notes: this is probably the final one in this series, but I’ll definitely be writing some blurbs and whatnot using the popular!reader. any requests or things you want to see between these two, or just dave, are welcome in my asks!! thank you for the sweet comments and reblogs, they mean the world to me, hope you enjoy!! <3

Meeting Dave at your house had now become a weekly occurrence.

Every Saturday he’d stop by for a “tutoring session”, backpack filled with new comics and sometimes collectibles, usually bought with the money you gave him for his time. You’d started enjoying your time together so much that you started bailing on party plans or shopping trips, raising some suspicions from your friends as to what you were up to. You simply said you were focusing more on school to finish the year off properly. Which would be a decent excuse if your grades were actually improving, which they weren’t exactly. 

Your Saturdays were usually spent on the carpeted floor of your room, pages spread as excited voices filled the space, talking about your favorite arcs and discussing who the best supervillain really was. 

You had easily become one of Dave’s favorite people to spend time with outside of his vigilante duties, and the feeling was mutual. A crush had started brewing between you two, but neither of you wanted to admit to it. Not just because your worlds outside the safe space of your bedroom were so vastly different, but because you didn’t want to ruin this perfectly good thing you had going on with each other. Even if it meant suppressing the urge to ask him to stay the night, or him pushing away thoughts of kissing you before he’d leave, it was for the best.

Dave had grown so fond of you, you’d shared so much about yourself. You’d opened up about your insecurities, about how competitive cheerleading had affected your mental health, how you hated how your father was away so much for work, how you felt trapped by your reputation... All these things you could never talk about before, they were safe with him.

That’s why Dave felt so ridden with guilt any time you would share things like that with him. Because he was essentially just... Lying to you. You had no idea he was Kickass, at least that’s what he hoped, and the thought of you resenting him for it was eating away at him. If you knew what he was doing when you weren’t there, if you found out about this entire other persona, there was no way you’d still want to spend time with him. At best, you’d turn him in to the police, and he’d never see you again.

But something inside his head, something really stupid and naïve was telling him you’d accept him.

That really stupid part was also in love with you.

Dave’s text messages had been less frequent lately, further adding to your worries about what he’d been up to. He’d cancelled multiple times in the past few weeks, something he’d never done before, and when you asked what he was doing he got so nervous. He’d usually just give some strange excuse or said his dad needed him to be home with all the crime that’s been going on. But that wouldn’t explain the bruises you’d notice on his arms when he took his jacket off, which he’d quickly try to cover by pulling down his sleeves. You’d asked your brother if him or any of his friends had been messing with him, threatening to light his jerseys on fire if he lied about it.

“The fuck would I know about what your boyfriend’s been up to?” He spat, upset that you were bothering him with this at all.

“He’s not my boyfriend, shithead!” You yelled, throwing a pillow at his head.

But damn, did you wish he was.

You sat in your room, flipping through the pages of the collector’s edition Spider-man comic Dave had gifted you months ago. Your fingers traced across the lines of the damaged paper, wondering if he really bought it like this or some asshole at school did this to it. For someone so secretly strong he sure let a lot of people fuck with him.

You thought back at all your years in high school where you deliberately ignored him or even allowed your friends to make fun of him. You wished you could turn back time and give him a chance earlier on, maybe be able to spend more time with him now that he seemed too busy for you now. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock against your window. You didn’t respond at first, thinking you imagined it, but when the sound returned a bit louder you got up. You squinted, finding it a bit hard to see who or what was outside your window when it was so dark outside. You approached and realized it was Dave, looking a bit panicked. You didn’t even think much about it, sliding your window up so you could talk to him. “Dave! Where the fuck have you--” 

“Can I please come in?” He interrupted, his breath ragged, looking like a mess. It was only now you noticed the bruises and the cut across his cheek. You nodded, moving aside so he could come in. He struggled, limping a little, and you turned back around to close the window, hearing him take off his jacket and drop his bag.

“What the hell were you even--” Your own sentence was cut short when you were met with a sight you had not expected. Your eyes widened and your expression changed into one of shock and worry.

There he was, full Kickass attire, no mask. 

And everything clicked.

The random bruises, the comic book obsession, his secret strength, his sudden disappearances...

A heavy silence filled the room, the only sounds present his rough breathing as he put a hand against your bedpost to keep standing. 

“Is... Is this why you’ve been so busy?” Your voice sounded hurt, betrayed even. “You’ve been fighting people?”

Dave struggled to get any words out. He’d hoped he’d never have to do this, but he had nowhere else to go, and you deserved to know the truth. He looked to the side in shame, sighing. “I’ve... Been meaning to tell you. For a while now, I promise, I just... It all escalated so much, I never meant for it to become such a big lie.”

You looked at each other, and Dave’s heart literally ached at the sight of your teary eyes. Or maybe it was the cracked rib that was doing that, who knows honestly.

“Sit down.” You said, pointing at your bed.

“W-What? I don’t--”

“Sit. Down.” Your voice demanded, eyes meeting his with a look he’d never experienced from anyone before, not even when he was getting his life threatened by criminals.

He gently sat down on your bed, groaning slightly at the movement straining his injuries. You silently walked to your bathroom and took out the first aid kit from below the sink. You sat down next to him on the bed as Dave kept his head down in shame. He was certain he’d cry if he saw the expression on your face right now. 

“Take it off. The top part.”

He didn’t say anything, reaching behind him and unzipping the back, peeling the layer of clothing off his body and revealing a wide array of injuries. Normally you’d be excited to see him shirtless, his toned body surprising you, but right now all you felt was hurt. You put some rubbing alcohol on a cotton pad and gently patted the cut on his shoulder. Despite your anger, your grip on his arm was soft. 

He winced slightly at the burning feeling, looking at you and seeing a few tears roll down your cheeks. “Hey, I’m... I’m really sorry.” He spoke softly as you prepared a bandage. He said your name so gently, so sweetly, that you almost wanted to kiss him, if you weren’t so upset. “Everything got so real, and I met other vigilantes, other people like me... It started taking up so much time, I felt bad, and I couldn’t just abandon it, so...”

“So you abandoned me instead?” You finally looked up to face him. You were still holding his arm, and even like this, crying and upset, he thought you looked so beautiful.

“I...” He felt his own eyes start watering. “I would never abandon you...” His hand reached out to rest over your back. “No matter what, I swear, I would never give up what we have...” He gently pulled you in, hugging you so softly, a bit hesitant.

You leaned in closer, head against his bare chest as you started calming down. He didn’t hate you, he didn’t leave, he was there, right there. You closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat as he reached down to rest his face against the top of your head, the gentle scent of your shampoo calming him as well. You stayed just like that for a few minutes, holding each other. Nothing else in the world mattered, everything you wanted was right there in the room with you.

You gently pulled back, and Dave was certain he’d be met with either a slap or a finger pointing to the window to get out.

Both of those guesses were wrong.

You leaned in, lips meeting his in the softest, gentlest most loving kiss either of you had ever experienced. No lust, no intentions other than to just feel closer to him. Your mouth opened slightly and Dave leaned in more, a hand reaching out to rest on your cheek as yours sneaked into his brown curls. A warmth had spread through your body, mind running blank, until you gently pulled away.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” You whispered against his lips.

“Yeah...” He whispered back. “Me too...” The both of you leaned back in, passion growing as your breathing became heavier and the kiss became more intense. His arms snaked around your waist and you moved onto his lap, straddling him. He didn’t care if it hurt, all he wanted was to be even closer to you, to never let you go. 

You pulled away and looked into his eyes, before a soft smile appeared on your face. “You know I’d never hate you, Dave...” You reach out to gently touch his cheek, and he melts into your hand, tilting his head slightly to lean into it.

“I really thought you would...” He smiled. That adorable, nerdy, slightly nervous smile that you’d grown to love.

“Of course not...” You grin. “In fact...” You leaned in closer to his ear. “I always thought Kickass was kinda hot...”

Heat rises to his face, and his grip on your waist strengthens just a bit at your lustful tone. 

He gained another ally that night. His most valuable one, for sure.

tag list <3

@nephilimsss @tangerinesgf @dynamitehacke @izzyisstuff @cinawoah @amoebagrl @ykyouluvme  @stilloverthinking @erodastylinson   @reneehillary69  

[yoonkinii]

First date with Sukuna!

Warning(s): Minor cursing. Requests open (only for this AU) Masterlist (Check for more AU content!) Note: I apologize for any errors in my writing. I am the only one writing and editing so I may miss a few things that don't belong. Please let me know if you spot any. <3

“You’ve been staring at your phone for like 20 minutes, just text him already.”

Shoko remarked from your bed, flipping through a fashion magazine she found lying around. She had come over for a study session, but it quickly turned into you telling her about getting Sukuna’s number and having no idea how to proceed. 

“I can’t.” You whine, cheek pressed against the surface of your low living room table. 

Your studio apartment, though compact, was efficiently designed. The entryway doubled as storage, with hidden closets lining the walls and a discreet door on the left revealing the bathroom. The entry all opened into the main living area, where the lines between living room, bedroom, and dining area blurred. A small sofa sat against one wall, accompanied by a flower-shaped coffee table, with a TV hanging on the opposite wall, perfectly positioned for viewing from either the couch or bed. 

The right side of the apartment is occupied by your bed, creating a cozy sleeping nook, partially obscured by a tall bookshelf acting as a makeshift partition. The evening sun filtered through the window above the bed, casting gentle shadows on the floor. Sheer curtains adorned the window, more for decoration than privacy since you lived on the fourth floor.

The kitchen, tucked into one corner, was a masterpiece of compact efficiency. It contained the essentials: a stove, microwave, and small fridge. Wooden cabinets above the counter held a few cooking essentials and acted as a pantry.

“What do you even mean by that? You got his number, just text him,” Shoko counters, sitting up from her position on your bed and making her way over to you. She plops down beside and, with a practiced swipe, unlocked your phone.  

You hiss, raising your head from the table and narrowing your gaze at her. “I didn’t give you my phone password so you could just go through it whenever.”

“What else am I going to do with your phone?” She replied nonchalantly.

“You are insufferable.”

She hums, her thumb nail lightly grazing her teeth as she deftly types on your phone’s screen. You realize too late what she was doing and lunge for your phone, snatching it out of her grasp. 

You gasp, dread filling your insides. “Why did you do that?” you screech, practically flinging your phone back onto the table as if it had burned your hand. You stood up, running your hands through your hair as you pace around the limited space of your apartment. “You just basically screwed me over by sending that text.”

Shoko rolls her eyes, picking up your phone from where you discarded it. “I did not screw you over.” She insisted. “Look, he’s typing.”

Practically tripping over air, you were by Shoko’s side in an instant, staring at the typing bubbles on the screen. A moment later, your phone dinged with a new message- from Sukuna. Shoko grinned, glazing at you. “See? I helped you out.”

“Holy shit,” you muttered, grabbing the phone and staring at the few simple words on your screen.

Your stomach churned with anxiety. 

It had taken hours to get ready for this date, even with Shoko’s help. The fact that Sukuna had chosen a three-star Michelin restaurant didn’t ease your nerves- such a place was beyond your wildest dreams. Miraculously, you found something suitable for the occasion buried deep in your closet. 

You wore a sleek, off-the-shoulder black dress that hugged your figure perfectly. The sleeves flared slightly at the wrists, adding a touch of elegance without feeling too constricting. The dress’s hemline was on the shorter side, so you paired it with slightly sheer black tights. Completing the outfit were black pumps and a small purse slung over your shoulder, just big enough to hold your phone, wallet, apartment keys, and a few necessities. 

Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm your jittery stomach. The last thing you needed was a bout of nerves ruining your first date with the man of your dreams. Your inexperience with fancy places gnawed on you. What if there were specific forks you had to use? Or a certain way to speak?

Shaking off your nerves as best as you could, you finally stepped into the restaurant. The smooth sounds of jazz- saxophone and piano- immediately enveloped you, creating an atmosphere of refined elegance. The building was bathed in a dim glow, with soft light illuminating from bulbs hanging down from the veiling, reminiscent of a starlit sky. 

A hostess appeared before you, exuding an air of professionalism. Dressed in attire reminiscent of a butler’s uniform, complete with white gloves, she greeted you with a polite smile. When you gave her your name, her demeanor shifted slightly; her back tensed, and her eyes widened fractionally before she quickly regained her composure, making you wonder if you had even imagined it. 

As you followed the hostess, you took in the restaurant’s decor. White tablecloths covered the tables, each adorned with a lit candle and a bouquet of roses. Booths lined the walls, their half-circle seats echoing the elegance of the freestanding tables. In the center of the room, a dais hosted the musicians whose performance had captivated you to the point that you nearly collided with the hostess when she abruptly stopped.

Stepping back to create some distance, you meet her gaze. She smiles and tilts her head slightly, motioning for you to ascend the staircase you hadn’t noticed before. It was unusual for a restaurant to have a second story, so you didn’t bother paying much attention towards the ceiling. Now, you see a balcony-like area surrounding the walls of the building, offering a view of the first-floor patrons below. Tables similar to those on the ground floor were placed along the second-story banisters. 

Ascending the spiral stairs with the hostess following at a respectful distance, you reached the top and the hostess once again took the lead. She guided you past various tables to a secluded booth in a back corner, partially hidden by a sheer black curtain. The dark lighting made the booth hard to spot, adding an air of exclusivity and intimacy to it. 

Even in the dim light, you spotted him immediately, his pink hair unmistakable. His back was to you, giving you a few brief moments to take him in before you had to face him. He wore black slack, with the sleeves of his white button-up shirt rolled up to his forearms, revealing more of his intricate tattoos. Two bands of black ink encircled his wrists, their meaning being a mystery to you. You couldn’t dwell on his tattoos any longer as the hostess parted the curtain, gesturing for you to take a seat opposite of Sukuna. 

Your palms were sweaty; in fact, you felt a clammy discomfort all over. Biting your bottom lips, you slid into the booth, surprised by how deeply you sank into the cushion. 

A low chuckle from across the table snaps you out of your thoughts. Your head jerks up, and you find yourself staring at Sukuna. The first few buttons of his shirt were undone. Your mind goes blank as you take in the exposed skin of his collarbone and chest, revealing a peak of well sculpted muscles. 

“You should see the face you’re making right now,” he says, his voice tinged with amusement. He picks up a glass filled with amber liquid, taking a small sip and setting it back down. “I must say, I was quite surprised by how forward you were over text. No greeting or anything, just straight to business.”

Snapping out of your daze, you laugh nervously, your hands fiddling with the hem of your dress under the table. “Sorry about that.” You couldn’t help but apologize, worried that Shoko might have done more harm than good. You barely even knew Sukuna, having only encountered him twice and even those moments were brief. 

He hums, leaning back into his seat, his gaze fixed on you. You stare back, wide-eyed and unsure of what to do. His eyes roamed over your body, and he made no effort to hide what was doing. Your skin felt like it was on fire under his scrutiny. A smirk curled at the corner of his lips. 

“I never asked, but,” He pauses, his eyes locking onto  yours. “How old are you?”

“I’m 25.” 

“Oh?” He leans forward, forearms resting on the table. “That’s quite a big age gap between us.”

You couldn’t help the small pout that forms on your lips, your brows knitting together. “If a seven-year age gap is big for you, then I have a few questions. And I thought I made it clear I didn’t care.”

His eyes lit up with something akin to amusement. “So she does have some bite in her.” Sukuna raises a hand, and almost as if he had summoned them, a waiter appeared. Dressed similarly to the hostess, the waiter bowed slightly as Sukuna made a gesture at them. Without a word, a menu was placed before you. 

“Thank you,” you offered the waiter as you opened the menu. Your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the prices listed. Everything was outrageously expensive; even a simple salad cost a small fortune. Your heart sank along with your pride. 

Guess I’ll have to work overtime for a while, you thought to yourself, your heart breaking slightly at the mere thought of having to work extra hours. 

The waiter returned with a glass of water, taking your order after setting down your drink. You cast a curious glance at Sukuna as the waiter took your menu. He never received one and didn’t even look at yours. 

“Are you not ordering?” You questioned once the waiter was far enough, worry lacing your tone. 

“They already know what I want,” He replied flatly. 

Letting out a soft ‘Ah’ of acknowledgment, you settle back against the booth, taking in your surroundings. It’s not every day you find yourself in such an upscale establishment, so you might as well savor the experience. 

“I take it this is your first time at a place like this?” His voice draws your attention back to him. His eyes are fixed on you, a brow arched in curiosity. 

“God no,” you laugh softly. “I’m in college right now, so there’s no way I could afford places like this.” You admit sheepishly, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“What are you studying?”

“Biology.”

“You want to be a doctor?”

You visibly deflate, your hands cradling the chilled glass of water, fingers gently tapping against its surface. “I used to think so, but the deeper I got into my degree, the more I realized how difficult it is. I think I’ll just become a nurse and work for my friend.”

Shoko is determined to become a doctor, claiming she wants to be her own boss and not have to answer to, in her words, ‘stupid old people.’ You wouldn’t mind working under her as one of her nurses. She’s also said she wouldn’t mind it either, so that’s your current goal. 

Sukuna hums, nodding thoughtfully. 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you study him, taking in his appearance. He arches a brow at your stare, almost daring you to say something. And you do. 

“Your piercing.” You begin, pointing to your own eyebrow to mirror his. “Did it hurt really bad?”

“No.” 

“No?” You echo, surprised by his response. Even with a high pain tolerance, it still must’ve hurt a little. 

“No,” He affirms. “I was shit face drunk when I got them.”

You blink at him. Once. Twice before a laugh you can’t hold back escapes you. Your hand covers your mouth, slightly surprised by your own reaction. Sukuna tuts his lips, a slight frown pulling on his lips. 

“Think that's funny, brat?”

You heave out a breath, sighing away to remnants of your laughter. “Hey, I don’t think that warrants being called a brat.” 

“Well you are laughing like an immature brat.” He snarls lowly, lips hovering against the rim of his glass as he takes another sip.

“I’m not sure that I'm the immature one. I wasn’t the one that got drunk and pierced their eyebrow.”

Sukunas eyes narrow on you, lips curling into a half-smile. “Cheeky,” He mumbles more to himself.

Talking to Sukuna felt surprisingly easy. Even when the food arrived, the conversation continued to flow smoothly, with you doing most of the talking. It was clear that Sukuna had a slight temper, evident in the way he grumbled to himself when the waiter made a mistake or how his brows knit together in frustration. Once, when the waiter accidentally brought over a drink neither of you ordered, Sukuna dismissed him with a curt “It’s fine,” but you noticed the way his eyes followed the waiter, as if trying to burn holes in his back. 

Despite his temper, his annoyance was never directed at you. He listened intently when you spoke, adding his own bits to the conversation. You learned that he got all his ear piercings at once, with the gauges being the most bothersome to take care of. His tattoos came a few years later, taking longer to complete because his tattoo artist wasn’t comfortable doing such a large project in one sitting.

Sukuna also shared that his “dumbass nephew” lived with him, usually bothering him and rarely ever shutting up. Despite Sukuna’s grimace while talking about his nephew, it was clear he cares deeply for him. He shows you photos of Yuji on his phone, from baby pictures to ones from elementary and middle school, grumbling about how Yuji sucked at math in middle school. You could tell that beneath his gruff exterior, Sukuna had a soft spot for his family. Why else would he have so many photos saved on his phone?

Time flew by in an instant, and before you knew it, the check landed on the table. Acting on impulse, you reached for your purse, intending to retrieve your wallet. But before you could even open your purse, the waiter swiftly whisked away the bill. 

“Wait-” You called after the retreating waiter, but he didn’t turn back. Sukuna observed you with a bored depression, his temples resting against his propped-up hand. With a resigned sigh, you reluctantly close your purse. 

“We could’ve split the bill.” You suggested, eyeing Sukuna across the table. 

“Like you could afford it,” he retorted coolly

Your face flushed, lips pressed into a thin line at his comment. Though it rang true, you still felt a twinge of guilt. Who knew how much this dinner had cost, and whether Sukuna could even afford it without consequences. 

“When a man pays for your meal, you should really be thanking them more than complaining.” Sukuna remarked. 

You fix  Sukuna with a hard stare until he sighs at your stubbornness, relenting. “Fine. You can treat me next time.”

Your heart skips a beat, eyes widening slightly at the implication behind his words. A smile spreads across your face involuntarily. “Really?” you repeat, practically beaming with joy. Sukuna rolls his eyes but he couldn’t hide the half-smile beginning to form on his lips. “If I knew you were going to light up like the damn sun, I might have said otherwise.”

You clicked your tongue, letting out a faux laugh. “Ha ha, too late to take it back now.”

Chuckling softly, Sukuna leans back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest, looking at you with a hint of sincerity in his eyes.

“No, I guess I can’t.”

-

Tag List (open):@kalulakunundrum , @fushipurro

[thelonelyshore-if]

DEMO

Update Wordcount: 22,542 Total Wordcount: 136,838

Hey so um. I decided to drop an update. Because I'm impatient and the transition & library scenes are finished. I decided since this part is complete, why not share it instead of making people wait until I finish the rest of the chapter? Progress is speeding along, but I keep adding more and it'll need to be edited. Here's a mini update for now <3

In this update you can:

Leave the diner!

Make small talk!

Go to the library!

Meet Yasmin!

Do a ton of research! Or don't! It's totally up to you c:

My idea with the library was you can engage with it as much or as little as you'd like. A good amount of lore and story tidbits are tucked away in the different options, but you certainly don't have to read everything if you don't want to! Plus, you get to meet and interact with Yasmin, and have a few chances to get to know Perri better <3

Deepest apologies, but the update will almost certainly break saves, since I changed the personality stats and added variables. Still, I hope anyone who plays has a great time, and it won't be long now until I share the rest of the chapter!

As always, my askbox is open for feedback, as well is the post on the forums. I hope you enjoy~

[lynnlovesthestars]

Scars.

Pairing: Astarion x reader Genre and warnings: angst, lots of it, hurt barely any comfort, allusions to sexual assault, past trauma, graphic description of torture, kidnapping, blood, violence, set in act 3, mention of death. Notes: not proof read ngl, i wrote it after dreaming it, and i didnt even wanna read it again, i cried like a bitch cause it’s kinda like…. past experience projected? just yeah dont ask if im ok after writing this, the answer is no lmao... also just a side note since it’s the first time im posting on this profile, but english is not my first language so please be mindful about it. Edit 10/06/23: i finally went through it end edited it.. i hope i catched all the errors cause idk if i'll ever be strong enough to give it another read ahah

Getting so close to someone meant so much for Astarion, and the more he cared, the more new fears would swim through his brain. 

Since you arrived in the lower city, and his bed was no longer cold at night, a new nightmare snuck in.

The idea that Cazador would be able to get to you, and weaponize you against him, made his cold blood run even colder. Several nights you woke up to a trembling and sweating Astarion, as he was begging for mercy. He never explained too much about these nightmares to you, just letting you know it was about Cazador again and again, but he left out the haunting possibility of you getting hurt because of him. On the other hand you believed it was because you were getting so close to the Szarr palace, and Cazador knew about it just as much as Astarion did.

It was the middle of the night when the sound of a broken glass stirred you awake. You looked around you, Astarion still deep into his meditating state, while the others were asleep as well, none of them reacted to the sound like you did. Maybe you just had a light sleep, you thought, and someone in the tavern dropped a few glasses or something. It was when hands gripped your wrists that you jolted up, looking behind you. It was too dark to see, and all you could spot were the deep red eyes, like Astarion's, though they lacked the warmth of his.

A shiver ran through your spine as you realized what was happening, but when you tried to call for the others, you realized how deep in shit you actually were: no sound would leave your lips, like you were silenced.

"There's no need to be afraid, Tav." A deep cold voice whispered so close to your ear. "They can't hear you".

The voice chuckled at your failed attempts to call for Astarion, Karlach or anyone, as tears were starting to pool at the edge of your eyes.

Another pair of hands took hold of Astarion, magical shackles fastened around his hands and feet, just as they did to yours, and then they started dragging you both away.

The deep voice spent the whole travel taunting you with stories of Cazador, how cold blooded he was, and just how much he enjoyed torturing his victims. From one point of view you were already accustomed with such stories about him, but from the other, the idea of Cazador getting hold of Astarion again, made your blood freeze again. You were not going to let Cazador hurt him again. You were set on the idea.

When you reached the corridors of Cazador's palace, the silencing spell finally wore off, though Astarion was still not moving. Terror flashed through your eyes as you wondered if they had already…

"What did you do to him?!" You breathed out as you tried so hard to keep your calm in front of the spawns that were dragging and pushing you through the dark hallways.

The spawn scoffed as he pushed through and through.

"Don't worry, he's not dead" You could feel his eyes rolling at the question, like it was some dumb question you should have known the answer to. "..yet" he added at last.

You couldn't stop your mouth from twitching, between the state of rage that was slowly building up, or the terror of them hurting Astarion.

"What's going on? Can i know that at least?" You wanted so bad to cast a spell on him, charming him into freeing you, but without the use of your hands, you were useless.

"Cazador wants to give you a warm welcome into Baldur's gate" He giggled, as the smell of old blood mixed with the sour taste of the bile threatening to spill from your lips, and you couldn't hold it anymore, and your feelings started spilling out.

You couldn't help then to try and get Astarion free at least. You wanted to shake those hands off of you, to wiggle out of the shackles that bound your magic, but no matter how much you tried, you were like set in stone, unable to do anything but move forward, shed tears, and talk. Or more specifically, beg.

Beg them to hurt you, instead of Astarion. 

Beg them to keep you here, and let your star free.

Beg them to turn you if needed, but spare Astarion's life.

Anything, if it meant not hurting the man that stole your heart with a dagger to your throat.

Quickly you were tossed in a cage, adjacent to Astarion's, and locked in.

The shackles that bound your feet dissipated, as the cage started ascending upward.

It halted in front of an altar, you guessed, that directly faced into the chasm you ascended from. Other spawns, around twenty you were able to count, started taking seats around the edges, sitting all in religious silence on their knees.

Astarion was still passed out, cradled on the floor of the cage, both restraints still tightly bound to him.

"Please, please, please" You cried out as the last bit of your strength was going to be dedicated towards trying to get Astarion free, far away from this place. "Let Astarion go, i beg you" You repeated your plea again, as you saw all those spawns stir from their seats, they wanted to turn their heads, to face whoever was foolish enough to beg Cazador for mercy, to trade spots with Astarion.

Everyone in that room knew what was going to happen, he was going to show them what happens when you disobey, when you run away thinking you can escape him. Instead you were so foolish and blinded by love, that you wanted to take Astarion's place, unaware of the extent that Cazador would go to. Yet you didn't stop, you kept begging and begging until a voice, the voice, echoed through the altar's walls.

"Tsk you just gave me a wonderful idea" the man hummed as his scepter started glowing, and Astarion started stirring awake, he looked around him, his tired eyes quickly widening as the reality around him had set in his mind.

"Let her go, you son of a bitch" Astarion growled as he stood up so quick, and gripped at the iron bars separating him from Cazador. 

"Touch her and I swear I'll spill your guts right here" He spit out of the cage, a symbolic spit cause you were too far away to reach him.

"My, my, our dear Astarion has forgotten all the manners" He cooed as his lips smacked together, his voice so honeyed it was bringing you to the verge of vomit.

You wanted to reassure Astarion, let him know that you were going to do your best to free him, that you were both going to be out of there alive soon, but could you? Could you lie so much to the man you loved? Words were stuck on your tongue, making your throat drier and drier.

You guessed you zoned out for a few seconds as your head was flooded with thoughts, missing the hate Astarion was throwing at his master.

"Ah sweet Astarion, your dear Tav has given us a great idea though, it would be a shame to let it go to waste" He hummed, as the staff light up again, the lock on your cage fell down the chasm, as your trembling body was slowly being dragged out of the cage by magic.

"No, no, no, no" Astarion reprated as his eyes locked on you, falling on the long streaks of tears running down your cheeks as you tried to offer him a sad smile, your lips muttering an "it's going to be okay" while his body was about to give in to desperation, loud sobs echoed from him, as your heart broke at his sight: he was barely standing up now, his hand gripped tight as he screamed through the hall to let you go, to not hurt you, to stop. "This is just a nightmare" He fell on his knees as you were slowly dropped on the cold floor, barely keeping your head up as you realized you were still in his shirt, the one he loved on you.

"Oh dear Astarion" Cazador cooed again as he kneeled in front of you, his cold fingers getting ahold of your chin, to tilt your head towards his. "This is not a nightmare, this is real" His words were like cold daggers through your chests, you knew that whatever was going to happen, it was not going to be fun.

Before you could say anything, Cazador's hand slipped to your waist pulling on the shirt as you flinched away, disgusted by the touch of the vampire in front of you.

But he didn't care, he was swift in removing it, leaving you bare in front of dozens of eyes.

You could hear the rattling coming from Astarion's cage as he attempted to break free over and over again while his chest was about to explode.

He didn't have the right to undress you in front of everyone, he didn't have the right to touch you at all, not when he prayed every night to have the chance to see you bare, to hold you. His thoughts were swinging back and forth between desperation and deep seethed rage.

"My, my I can see why our Astarion has fallen for this little creature" Cazador's compliment almost made you retch as you stumbled back a little. "She even puts up a fight" He chuckled as he lunged forward just enough to grip at your wrist and whipping you on your feet.

Every inch of your skin was visible to everyone, from the battle scars you got through the years of adventuring, to the teeth marks on your neck, down to the stretchmarks that lived on your hips.

A shiver ran through your spine as Cazador’s fingers grazed over the two marks on your neck. “Mh, your blood seems to be sweet enough, right Astarion?” His cruel words hit Astarion through the chest. He was one word away from a breakdown as he couldn’t do anything but witness his nightmares coming alive, not his Tav, not when he would be so careful to cradle you and comfort you to his chest whenever he'd drink from you.

Whatever he was screaming was incomprehensible to you, as all you could feel was the way Cazador gripped and pushed you towards a plush chair, where he sat with legs wide open before dragging you on his lap. You felt so nauseous as he bent you towards the arm rest, making you face the cold grey floor.

You wanted to hear the taunting explanation of what he was going to do, but all the sounds were drowned by the thrumming of your chest and the desperation in your own thoughts, repeating over and over that you were going to find a way out, trying to convince your brain to shut off and dissociate as you were there, like you were just in a nightmare, and you’d be awake soon.

All you could gather was few words like “knife”, “mark”, reminder”, and then “Astarion”. He was torturing him through you, and you couldn’t do anything about it. The worst part in this, was that you were the one that gave him the idea, cause you wanted him to free Astarion, and instead he let it all out on you instead than on your Aster, as a punishment for you both. You cause you were so careless to offer yourself though you didn't know the risk, and Astarion for being reckless and disobedient. Right there, as the dagger pierced your spine, you regretted not whispering Astarion how much you loved him, while you were tight against his chest, when the world around you was asleep, and you had a corner of peace. You always knew what you felt for him, from that moment on the beach, at the shipwreck, and yet you just wanted to tell him in the right moment. But what was the right moment? You might never know, as a broken scream broke through your lips, salty tears flowing free, so much that you thought for a moment that you might have died of dehydration, if the knife wasn’t going to do it first.

He carved and carved over your back, intelligible lines and symbols as you finally understood what Astarion meant when he told you how he got his scars. How gut wrenching the pain was as he couldn’t move, and how Cazador didn't allow a break, and retraced the lines that were wobbly if he moved too much.

“You know?” Cazador asked, as everyone’s eyes were on what he thought was a work of art, your carved skin, while Astarion’s plea echoed over and over in the room. “Our sweet Astarion used to whine just like you” He hummed. “Just a pathetic little child” He spit out like venom as you could barely breathe out few words along the lines of “you disgusting monster”, though you were not sure you actually let them out until, Cazador’s laugh filled every corner of the disgraced altar. Your tadpole writhed as another line was cut at the height of your hips, before, Cazador started retracing the lines and pulling away the skin, exposing the deepest layers of your flesh, the pain was so deep your vision blurred, and you were so close to passing out right there.

You don’t know how long you sat there, you slipped between pain and numbness as Cazador slapped you back to consciousness whenever you'd slip away, you had to endure the agonizing scarring and remember every second of it. He decorated with bloody lines almost all over your body.

You didn’t know what was worse between laying on the raw scars of your back, seeing your own skin being peeled away or the cries and sobs coming from the man you loved. You had to find a way, you couldn’t give up, you couldn’t allow this monster to walk the earth again. You had to do it for Astarion.

You were not sure when he dropped you on the floor, your body barely able to hold itself together as finally you could look around you and towards Astarion. Every face around you was stoic, like they were used to witnessing such spectacle, and they knew what was going to happen next.

You wanted to reach for Astarion, to take him away from the revolting scene in front of his eyes, you wanted to take away his pain, give him the last bit of hope you had, but when you were about to link your tadpole to his to do it, you hesitated. Connecting your minds meant he would feel how dirty, wretched and lost you felt, along with the gut wrenching pain ebbing through your body.

You could barely make out the words Cazador said as his nails dig through your skin again, even when he pulled your eyes to his you could barely read his lips as he said words you just wanted to cancel from your brain. A broken sob regurgitated from your throat as he was going to take the last thing you had. You just had to let your brain go, right? To ignore the teeth dipping in your throat and the putrid hands slithering down your skin, taking away enough blood to barely keep you alive as he took you in front of everyone.  It was no longer just physical pain, it was the way you felt your own body being stolen away and used in way no one ever dared before.

Numbness was all that was left of you after a while, of your barely beating heart while more hands crawled their way through places were you never wanted anyone to touch, then, in that moment, you realized you were free of your shackles, because you were so drained and broken that you could barely do anything. You could barely by aware of your surroundings, of how many bodies were preying on you, as you could barely manage to move inches.

Your vision was all but clear, you could make out the outline of Cazador as he was buttoning up his blouse again. Then you could see Astarion, still caged, struggling to stay sane as he wanted just to take you away from the monsters abusing of you, abusing of the fact that you were powerless in front of them. His eyes were a bloodshot, he was so hurt that he resorted to supplicate for mercy, to let you go and just kill him, whatever that could stop the agonizing pain. You didn’t have much strength left, maybe if you put all of yourself, you could muster two spells before passing out again. 

It took all you had to even raise your hand towards the lock that sealed Astarion’s crate, you mustered all your willpower to cast that knock spell, just enough to let the damn lock fall down. Astarion instantly turned to you, to your teary form still being touched by unworthy creatures, noticing how your hand barely held up, as you tried to cast one more spell, just for him, before another broken scream echoed in the room, bouncing from wall to wall till it reached Astarion's core. The kind of scream that should never be drawn by someone, nevertheless by you.

The radiant dagger materialized in his hands, and for a moment he didn’t notice it as he was fixated on the broken look on your face, encouraging him to end his master, although you suffered right there, paces away. “I love you” You mutter barely, you wanted to let him know before you could draw your last breath, then everything blurred.

Everything was muffled, you couldn’t see what was going on around you, you just felt all the presences around you disappear, while Astarion’s voice was crystal clear through the excruciating pain.

"I'll kill you, then I'll bring you back, and kill you again.” He shoved Cazador on the floor, just like he did with you, to remind him how he hurt you, how he used you, how he touched the only person he should have never laid hands on. “I’ll do it over and over again until you have suffered a tenth of what you did to her. Then I'm going to gut you one more time, and paint this shithole with your putrid blood. The halls of this place will reek with your disgusting blood, to let the whole city be aware of your death and from which the hands it came from” His hands were shaky, but he had to do it. For him, but mainly for you. All that was left of him was you, and nothing could ever be enough to vindicate you.

The shiny dagger stabbed over and over again through Cazador’s chest, while Astarion cursed him, every thrust of the dagger through the heart earned a new mocking insult, a new reminder of what he did, while all of Astarion's anger was channeled into annihilating him.

You just laid there, all you could do was listen to the grunts and the hate slipping from your lover’s lips as he dipped that dagger in the gutted body. You didn’t even realized when he dropped the disemboweled body on the marble, you weren’t even sure you could breathe, at that point.

A pair of shaking arms wrapped around your drained body, Astarion’s shirt was used again to cover your skin, as he picked you up, trying to be as delicate as possible. His salty tears fell over your body as he carried away from the nauseating scene, you frail body barely shivering, and your chest barely moving. He was muttering something to you, but everything sounded foreign at your hear.

He had to move quickly, find Shadowheart or Halsin, or anyone to heal you, to keep you alive. It was in this moment that he wished he could beg a deity to keep you alive, but he didn’t trust anyone else to tend you. He needed to rush outside of this place and get you to safety. 

He didn’t expect to see everyone outside the locked ballroom door, as they fumbled to open the door. They were taken by surprise at the sight of Astarion cradling you to his chest, all covered in blood, while his eyes were a pit of pain and tears.

Shadowheart didn’t hesitate to heal you right there before they all guided you towards the tavern you've been resting. They all offered to carry you, to make Astarion breathe a bit while on your way back there, but he refused. “I can’t..” He mumbled. “I don’t want..” His voice was just a whisper, broken. “I need” He wanted to break down again with you in his arms, but he had to lay you down first, to let you rest in a warm bed, he had to bring you to safety again, away from anyone that could pose any harm to you. He needed to see that smile again, cause no power flowing through his veins could have replaced you. He failed you once, he was not going to do it again. You saved him, twice, he had to do it just once for you. He had to thank you, and he had to tell you how much he loved you.

[justauthoring]

and i wonder... who? [3]

somehow, you find yourself torn between the two hottest guys at your school and you have no idea who to choose. loosely based off of operation: true love where geto is eunhyeuk and gojo is dohwa :)

a/n: operation true love is back and im back with this series :)))))))) (also apologies if you asked to be tagged and you're not tagged in this post, im sure im missing a few... just message me or comment on this if you still want to be tagged!)

pairing: geto suguru x f!reader, gojo satoru x f!reader

tag list: @username23345 - @anxious-chick - @novacaneformybrain - @mandysfanfics - @rottmntrulesall - @voiceofnoreturn - @rh-tg1 - @ky0mybeloved - @black-swan-blog27 - @ladytamayolover - @the8ate - @maybe-a-bi-witch - @dudalo100 - @reese-is-right - @6lonely-town6 - @its-a-dam-blue-brick - @kimi01985 - @dorusken - @siimp4youu let me know if you'd like to be added! please make sure your settings allow you to be tagged! (also tags show up when i edit but don't when i post??? if anyone knows how to fix this let me know)

you can find the masterlist here!

You could not believe your eyes.

The second you’d read that text, you’d convinced yourself you’d imagined it; blinking rapidly, rubbing at your eyes, even pinching yourself because there was just no way he’d actually texted you. Even if it was from an unknown number, it was clear who it was – seconds after bumping into him, him rudely blaming you and then calling you by that god-awful nickname, you get a text right after?

With the same nickname?

Yeah, it was clear who it was.

The past two days alone have been more than confusing. If it wasn’t Sukuna cheating on you, it was Geto suddenly acting like he cared about you even though for as long as you’ve known him, he’s done nothing but ignore you. And if he wasn’t ignoring you, he was glaring at you; giving you those eyes that made it clear what he thought of you. You were oblivious and you weren’t as dumb as you came across, it had been abundantly clear to you that Geto didn’t like you and even more, he probably thought you were pathetic.

And now? Now you had Gojo Satoru texting you? And why? Because you’d accidentally bumped into him in the hall? When, really, if anyone bothered to ask you, you’d guarantee it had been him who’d walked right into you – couldn’t a guy see when a girl was upset and needed a moment to herself?

Clearly, Gojo couldn’t.

The worst part was that Sukuna cheating on you seemed like the least shocking thing and that in of itself just seemed so cruel. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware – Sukuna treated you horribly. Sure, you were positive that at one point he really truly had liked you and maybe there was a way to get him to again, but that didn’t erase the fact that for the past few months he’s been nothing short of terrible to you. 

Dismissive of you, blatantly ignoring you, you can’t count on one hand how many times he’s laughed with his friends at you when you’ve wanted nothing more than him to defend you or at the very least comfort you.

So, yeah… him cheating on you? Wasn’t all that surprising. And you’re still not really sure how to feel about that.

Your mind is a jumbled mess throughout the entirety of class that you barely pay attention. When the teacher calls for lunch, you’re blinking yourself out of your stupor, jumping in your seat as everyone around you excitedly packs up their things. You probably look like an idiot sitting there watching everyone, stunned, face red when you realize you did not listen to a single thing your teacher was saying, until a hand falls on your arm.

Your eyes meet Shoko’s concerned ones.

“Y/N?”

You feel a buzz from your phone in your back pocket and the stupor is quickly replaced by anger.

There’s no way I’m letting him get away with calling me ‘sweet cheeks’.

You push yourself to a sudden stand, startling Shoko who lets out a tiny shriek in response, head jerking back to avoid being smacked by yours. Then, you’re grabbing your backpack and promptly turning around, making your way towards the door with a determined expression.

All while Shoko gapes at you; “Y-Y/N?!”

You’ll apologize later but you don’t have time to answer her distressed call. The second you’re outside the class, you’re pulling your phone from your pocket, glowering as you read the text.

Ignoring me? :(((

“Jerk,” you mumble to yourself, fingers moving quickly to reply.

Where are you?

And the reply comes almost instantly.

Why? Already missing me?

Jesus. What an egotistical guy.

Shaking your head, you focus on replying.

Just tell me where you are.

Your finger taps impatiently on the side of the phone while you wait.

In the hall outside the cafeteria.

The second you read those words, you start walking. Students eye you weirdly as you walk by, sending you confused looks and mumbling to each other in wonder of what your problem is; you’re not even aware that you’re practically stomping through the halls, footsteps echoing with each step you take. It only takes you three minutes before you spot Gojo, easily identifying him by his bright white-hair that sticks out like a sore thumb against all the blacks and browns.

He’s already looking in your direction the second you turn down the hall, and your glare darkens on the smirk on his face.

The second you reach him, you go to tell him off, but he cuts in before you can;

“Not gonna lose your footing this time because of how dashing I am?”

And his words are so shocking to you that you completely lose your train of thought, blinking as your lips part in disbelief and you gape up at him with your mouth left wide open. Gojo lets out a loud laugh in response to that, head thrown back in amusement as you feel your face burn.

“Wh-What!” You practically cry, “you’re the one who bumped into me! And I didn’t fall because of how you looked! I fell because you slammed into me!”

Raising a brow, Gojo simply crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall, the smirk on his face never faltering.

You huff; “you’re infuriating.”

He snorts; “I've been told.”

Shaking your head, you focus on the reason why you wanted to see him in the first place. “How exactly did you even get my number, by the way?” You ask, holding your phone up for emphasis as you tilt your head at him accusingly. “And I want a real answer.”

Shuffling on his feet, Gojo shrugs; “just asked someone from my class. Some girl.”

Pausing, you sigh; “people need to learn not to just give my number out to anyone,” you mumble to yourself, annoyed. Gojo watches you with a raised brow and amused glance, enjoying the way your face twists expressively while you talk to yourself.

Then, your eyes focus back on his. You try not to lose your train of thought when you remember just how blue they are. 

“Whatever,” you brush off, lowering your hand. “Just don’t call me ‘sweet cheeks’ and don’t text me either.”

“But why else would I have got your number?” Gojo asks, the question is genuine.

You just stare up at him. “Fine. Don’t text me unless you need something,” you concede before lowering your gaze. Your voice lowers and Gojo smiles as you start mumbling to yourself once more, moving to pocket your phone away. “Although, I don’t know why you would need to text me in the first place since—”

You halt at the feeling of a hand around your wrist, stopping you from putting your phone away as you stare up at Gojo in disbelief, lips left parted. He doesn’t bother to explain, simply using his other hand to pull your phone from your grasp and turn it towards him. You watch him with a stunned expression, mind not working quick enough to even ask him what he’s doing because all you can focus on is the way his fingers had felt against the skin of your wrist. His grip was so gentle, even if it had been enough to halt your movements, and his fingers were smooth and long.

The touch had sent shivers down your spine.

“There,” Gojo calls, smiling brightly as he turns your phone screen towards you. It takes you a moment, blinking, before you realize what he’d done.

He’d added himself as a contact, naming himself; Satoru <3

First name too?!?!

“That way you always know it’s me.” 

You flush, body jerking as you snatch your phone from his grasp, shaking your head. “Wh-what! Don’t…! Don’t just add a heart next to your name like that!”

“Why not?” Gojo asks, face in a pout as he genuinely asks you like he doesn’t understand. Your frazzled movements halt when you realize, arms falling to your sides with a huff before his pout is fading and being replaced by another shit-eating grin. You watch as Gojo goes to grab his own phone from his coat pocket, opening it and tapping at a few things before turning it to show you again.

There you see the both of yours short message threads before your eyes wander higher and then you see that he’s added you as a contact on his phone as well.

And….

Sweet Cheeks <3

That was it. You were confident. You’re going to kill him.

You feel hot and you know you probably look like a mess, wide eyed and lips parted once more as you turn to look at Gojo. Of course, he’s smiling–because why wouldn’t he be–and looks completely unbothered by it all. In fact, you’d reckon he even looks proud of himself.

But yet, when your lips part to argue, you find no words to say. You know you’re embarrassed, a little peeved at the annoying pet name, but you think about the way his hand had felt on you and the way that despite how he was too cocky for his own good, you liked the thought of having him as contact in your phone.

Even if that was the name he’d given himself.

Even if that was the name he’d given you. 

And even if there was a heart next to both of your names.

Shoulders falling, you submit; “fine,” you huff. “But just don’t think this means—”

“Y/N.”

You halt, instantly recognizing that voice.

You miss the way Gojo’s eyes zone in on your reaction, shoulders tensing and the expression on your face turning just slightly afraid as you let the words you’d been about to say disappear. The air suddenly grows tense, or maybe you’re imagining it–you’re not sure–but you feel your body stiffly moving to turn, meeting Sukuna’s eyes from across the hall.

His brows furrow when he meets your gaze, eyes hardening at the sight of Gojo behind you.

“What’re you doing talking to Gojo?”

You freeze, and you realize somewhere distant you should say something, but you don’t know what.

Then, an arm falls around your shoulder and a weight is pressed against your back.

“We were exchanging numbers,” Gojo calls out with a singing voice, lips stretched into that familiar wide grin. Though, and you think you might be imagining it, you swear it seems a bit more tight and forced than it had before. “Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

You don’t miss the way he calls you by your first name.

Sukuna doesn’t either.

“Uh… y-yeah,” you force out, letting out an airy laugh that sounds more like a cough than anything. 

Sukuna’s face hardens, but the anger in his eyes is passing. With a simple shake of his head, he brushes off your words, before focusing back on meeting your gaze; “come on, Y/N. Let’s have lunch together.”

Oh.

Oh.

That’s right.

Maybe he will again. 

You’d been trying to win back Sukuna. Sukuna, your boyfriend. The boyfriend that had cheated on you with a girl who has had it out for you since middle school… Sukuna, whose hands have never felt as warm as the way Gojo’s had against yours just a few minutes ago; nor as soft, nor have they ever made you feel the way Gojo’s had.

“You should break up with him.”

Eyes squeezing shut, you force yourself to block out Geto’s words.

No, this was just silly. You’d already decided – you were going to win back Sukuna and that was that. Geto’s words didn’t matter and neither did Gojo’s hands; it was all just silly distractions you’d let yourself sink into because of your hurt.

You wanted to be with Sukuna and you wanted to win his feelings back.

And here he was inviting you for lunch. You’d be stupid to pass up the opportunity.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you nod, gently shrugging Gojo’s arm off of your shoulder and taking a step forward. “Okay,” you call out sweetly, smiling at Sukuna, it strengthens the second you see Sukuna instantly ease at your agreement. 

You offer Gojo a smile over your shoulder as you make your way to Sukuna, ignoring the frown on his face as you wave.

Then, you beam up at Sukuna.

He glances at Gojo behind you for a moment longer, before meeting your eyes. You try to make sure you don’t smile too wide or obnoxiously, trying to make sure you look pretty, head tilted as you bat your lashes at him and reach for his hand.

Reluctantly, Sukuna slips his hand into your own, not bothering to return your smile as he leads you into the cafeteria.

-

You watch Sukuna and Mei Mei with a barely concealed frown. 

When Sukuna had first invited you out, you’d thought he meant a date. You’d practically squealed of excitement in your bedroom, kicking your feet before hurriedly getting ready. You’d done your hair, made sure your makeup looked flawless, and dressed exactly how you knew Sukuna liked you to dress. The two of you hadn’t been on a date just the two of you in a long time, and the last time you’d tried… well. It hadn’t ended the way you thought you would.

Operation get Sukuna to fall for Y/N again seemed like it was going well if Sukuna was inviting you out for a date and you knew tonight was the perfect opportunity to up your charm and flirting to remind Sukuna why he’d asked you out in the first place.

Then, you’d shown up at the arcade only to see Sukuna already there with Mei Mei, Mahito and a few of his other friends.

And quickly, you realized your plan was already starting to be a complete and utter failure.

With nothing more than a simple ‘hey’, Sukuna had barely acknowledged your presence nor had he tried to hang with you at all since you’d arrived. You’d been here for an hour and the most attention you got from anyone was Mahito when he’d asked you if you’d watch his stuff for him; you believe his exact words had been ‘if you’re going to sit there like a loser all night, can you at least be helpful and watch my stuff?’.

So that’s what you’d done.

Honestly, you were impressed you were as collected as you were. You knew you should’ve just left, but the small hope that maybe Sukuna would notice you kept you there even as it got harder and harder not to cry. You didn’t want to seem like more of a loser though, so you forced the tears back; trying to ignore the racing thoughts that ran through your mind as you sat there, all dolled up for a guy who didn’t care about you at all.

You were starting to think you’d been wrong all along and maybe he never had.

Were you that undesirable? You’d thought you were a good girlfriend… you’d tried not to be too clingy, even if Sukuna said otherwise and you’d always tried to help him and support him in anything he needed. You tried to wear the things he liked and get into the stuff he was interested in. You went to every one of his games and cheered him on every time. And yet, he’d only ever seemed annoyed at everything you did.

Maybe you were that undesirable.

Maybe you’d never realized just how annoying and insufferable you really were.

Biting your lip, you decide that that’s all you can take for one night and if you don’t leave now, you’re going to cry in the middle of this arcade and that’ll only fuel your embarrassment more.

With one more longing look Sukuna’s way, to which you’re ignored again, you move to stand, grabbing your purse and pulling it over your shoulder as you move to walk away.

Except, the second you turn, you bump aggressively into someone and something cold pours over you.

Your lips part, eyes widening as you realize that it’s some sort of soda, most likely coke, that is now seeping into your blouse and sticking to your skin. Gasping, you glance up to see who you bumped into since it’s clearly becoming a habit of yours, only for your embarrassment to deepen the second you meet a familiar pair of dark eyes.

Geto Suguru stands in front of you, looking just as shocked as you. In his hands is an empty cup, the lid now on the ground by your feet.

You stare at him for a moment before you hear laughter.

It’s loud and piercing. Body stilling and muscles tensing, you glance over your shoulder only to see Sukuna, Mahito, Mei Mei and the rest of his friends all laughing at you. Mahito’s got a hand pressed to his stomach as he doubles over in laughter, the look in Mei Mei’s eyes is nothing short of cruel and when you finally turn to Sukuna, you feel like your heart breaks a little.

Even though you’re not surprised.

Of course he’d laugh at you.

You can’t stand to see the look on Geto’s face, already knowing what he must be thinking, as you quickly shove your way past him. Your feet work quickly to make your way out of the arcade, not hearing the sound of your name being called as you feel your eyes finally well up with the tears you’ve desperately tried to hold back all day. 

The second you’re out of the arcade, it all becomes too much. 

You don’t care at that moment that you’re no more covered than you would’ve been inside the arcade; it’s better than crying in front of Sukuna and… and Geto. 

Pressing your hands to your face, the reality of everything catches up to you and a sob pulls past your lips as your shoulders shake. You’re cold, sticky, you’re pretty sure your blouse is now see through thanks to the soda that had spilled all over you and you’re standing outside an arcade crying because of your boyfriend who cheated on you.

Everything was just so cruel.

You stand there for a moment more, lost in your own world you don’t hear the ding of the arcade doors open behind you or the footsteps that follow. It isn’t until something warm falls around your shoulders do you finally look up, turning your head to the right and blinking at the sight of Geto’s concerned eyes staring back at you. 

“Are you okay?” He asks gently, voice soft in the mix of silence and your sniffles. “I didn’t mean to spill my drink all over you like that.”

Swallowing thickly, you brush the tears on your cheeks, confused; “wh-what?”

“You ran out so quick,” he continues on, moving in front of you to grab the hoodie he’d draped around you and pull it tighter around you in the front. You watch as his hands reach for your own, taking your arms and tugging them through the sleeves of the hoodie before zipping it up until it hits the bottom of your chin. “I’m sorry I ruined your shirt.”

You’re stunned. Confused. You hadn’t expected him to run out after you nor did you expect sympathy. Sure, you didn’t know Geto that well, but you didn’t expect him to apologize for spilling his soda on you, especially when you bumped into him, nor did you expect him to give you his hoodie to cover and warm yourself up.

You stare back at him blankly.

Geto frowns at the tears in your eyes. “Ignore them. They’re idiots.”

He’s gesturing behind you at the arcade — to Sukuna and the rest of them.

You don’t glance back. You don’t want to see them still laughing.

“Why… why are you here?” You ask, voice small.

“I was babysitting,” he explains, “but their parents picked them up just before I bumped into you. I was… actually going to talk to you when you stood up suddenly.”

Oh. So that’s why he’d been right behind you.

“I’m sorry I bumped into you,” you mumble, selfishly enjoying the warmth his hoodie gives as you hug yourself. “And split your drink.”

Geto shakes his head. “You’re the one that got covered in it.”

And oddly, the comment makes you smile. You’re not sure why–maybe you’re losing your mind–but the way he says it so nonchalantly pulls a smile to your lips and a snot-filled giggle that is anything but attractive and you’re too upset to even care. 

Geto just laughs at himself; “you think it’s funny my drink spilled all over you?”

Meeting his eyes, you shrug; “I dunno.” Then, faltering, you glance at your feet. “I didn’t before. But maybe a little now.”

“Well… good,” Geto shrugs. “It was a little funny if I’m being honest.”

And the smile on his face tells you he’s just joking.

“Shut up,” you laugh.

An air of silence falls over the two of you then, and you shuffle on your feet.

“I’m gonna go home now,” you point to your left, the direction you’ll be walking. “I’ll wash and return your hoodie on Monday. Th… Thank you for giving it to me.” And you smile warmly, wanting him to know just how much you appreciate the favour.

Geto’s smile fades as he blinks down at you.

You offer a small wave and move to walk, but then a hand catches your arm.

Surprised, you glance back at Geto.

“I’ll walk you,” he offers.

Your eyes widen. “Oh! You… you don’t have to—”

“It’s okay,” he assures, somewhat urgently. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay…” you say slowly, not seeing the point in arguing. Besides, not walking home alone in the dark seemed like the better option anyway and if he was offering… still, why was he offering? “But… why?”

“Because,” he shrugs once more. And he hesitates and your heart twists because you don’t know if you can handle the answer if it’s because he feels pity for you.

And then he just smiles and it’s soft and gentle and it takes your breath away as you stare up at him.

“It’s late.”

[acowboynamedasa]

Ok I know I already made a post about watchertv and how it’s a horrible idea and no have not had a change of heart about that- but I really just want to get into the math of everything because like, they we’re making a LOT of money.

(Full disclosure this post has been edited to be more accurate with help from commenters)

Patreon: they have 12,000 supporters, but only 5,900 paying supporters (at the time of me checking today. Many definitely unsubscribed when this video dropped). The tear options are 5, 10, 25, and 100 dollars. Assuming that most people are in the 5-10 range, I’ll average it at about 7 dollars. Witch is 41,300 a month.

Merch sales: they have a very devout fan base that buys a lot of merch, they sell a plastic paper weight for 36 dollars. All of their hoodies are 80 dollars. Their shirts are 35-50 dollars. They sell a pack of 7 patches of their different show logos for 65 dollars. The posters are 80 dollars. To my knowledge They do not publicly share what they make from merch sales, but I know that they have sold out of certain styles, witch means that people are buying these. The merch is without a doubt at a very steep profit margin- no where in the world will it cost 80 or even 40 dollars to make these- so we can just assume that whatever assured total we come too, it will be higher by 10-20 thousand(just an estimate, I’m not an expert on YouTube merch).

Sponsorships: (this info is from moist critical who runs a company who specialize in setting up brand sponsorships with YouTube channels.) watcher is/was a very big and successful channel, with 2 minute sponsorships adds on every video I could find- they are with out a doubt making 20-30 thousand dollars from every one of those sponsorships. They post weekly, meaning they make about 100,000 a month from that. This doesn’t include any money they received from discount codes either, only about 2% of viewers use discount codes so it’s fair to say they receive a few thousand dollars from that, we can just total it to about 101,000 to be conservative.

views: YouTube has always been very hush hush about what they pay. Different YouTubers have stepped forward and said what they make on views alone but watcher is not one of these channels. With watchers average views being about 800,000 per video (very ‘about’, some get 3 million and others only reach 500,000) and YouTubes policy being about .018 cents per view we can say they comfortably make 14,400 per video, 57,000 a month.

Add cents: add cents and views are a different thing, for every add that is seen in a video you get a adicional .018 cents, watchers content is very monetizable, and with it being long form content 30-45 minutes, they have a lot of adds. Let’s just assume 1-2 mid roll ads on every video and that’s an additional 20,000 per video, 80,000 a month.

Adding ALL of that together

Watcher makes 279,300 dollars a month. Flat out, no merch added.

If you think you can’t afford to pay 25 people a month with 279,300 dollars- I literally don’t know what to tell you.

[buddie911abc]

Here I go again.

Buck asks Eddie if his son is the real reason he doesn't date. Eddie responds with, "That and, they weren't my type."

This has been a flag for everyone who reads the subtext, but let's take a moment to look at the last GIF.

Eddie says they weren't his type. Buck turns around to look at them and probably assesses what makes them, 'not' Eddie's type because the girls were all subjectively pretty. There were also a variety of types of women there.

But look closely at the GIF. Eddie said they weren't his type. While Buck is glancing back, Eddie gives Buck a quick look that really screams, "You are it. You are the type." When I noticed this from the GIF edit, I thought it might be the creator slowing it down, but nope. If I look at the episode, it is the same or nearly the same. This is early season two, and I have always thought, in the early episodes, there was no intent to pair Eddie with Buck as anything but a friend. However, this scene makes me wonder at what point Tim M or whoever was writing changed their minds about adding in a subtextual narrative.

I find it very difficult to see this scene as a heteronormative exchange. In fact, it even feels like Eddie is pushing back a little to test where Buck stands. Buck as a character who lacks self-awareness gives a mixed signal answer. (which tracks with his character at this point and matches his coming-out arc.) **edited to clarify** Buck's mixed signal response to Eddie saying they aren't my type is, "Not mine either, at least not anymore."**

A few seconds later, Buck says Eddie has a weak excuse. My lovely and wonderfully sassy Eddie says, "You live in your invisible girlfriend's house, and you're telling me about weak excuses." He essentially points at Buck's closet door, but of course, this is something that Buck couldn't see or pick up on at the time. These moments are small in the grand scheme of the show as a whole so I'm afraid it will be forgotten. It would be nice to have some sort of throwback acknowledgment that this scene hasn't been retconned.

To backtrack a little bit here, I would also like to point out something else about the early timing or the writing of these characters as potentially queer. They are outside. (True I don't understand the ins and outs of filmmaking so there may very well be a reason for this.) But the shot itself is making them walk close together. Not just close, their shoulders are literally bumping against each other, hitting and knocking at each other in a way that might appear "unintentionally" intimate--until you remember they are outside. It seems to me like there are dozens of ways to shoot this thing that don't require them to be so casually physical with each other. For the scene to be shot like this and then consider the canon conversation that took place, it feels quite intentional that the writers wanted viewers to look closely for something else.

Whenever certain people call Buddie shippers delusional, I think about this. Subtextual language aside, the scenes are shot in such a way as to plant the idea of "More." There is attraction here. There is flirting.

Someone, somewhere wanted to tell this story from the start; and I'm not mad about it. I'm 100% here for it, and I'm ready for it to go down as the most epic love story I've ever watched or read about, but I also admit that I want it to be canon, not so I can throw it in anyone's face that their ship is wrong, but so I can prove I'm not some weirdo putting two hot guys together. I'm seeing a real romance being built. I want that validation as much as I want everyone under the LGBTQ umbrella to see representation for themselves on screen.

If you want to see the scene, go to about 3:05.

[writingmeraki]

i heart u !

a min ho drabble !

genre : fluff. ( disgustingly cute )

pairing : minho x gn!reader, established relationship.

warnings : none except Minho is a menace but he's your menace :D ( not edited or proofread. )

author's note : this was a pretty random idea I got 😭 but also a little gift as a celebration to xo kitty getting a season 2 !!!! 🥳 ( praying for more minho screen time but also dae my boy deserving better :( confused on yuri & kitty endgame 🤞or minho & kitty ) anyways enjoy this minho brainrot i offer u and let me know what you think !!! let's also ignore the quality of the minho pics thanks xx also this is my third time trying to upload this i will cri if this doesn't upload now

word count : 1.1k

It'd been exactly two hours, twenty seven minutes and four seconds, five seconds, six seconds…

"You know I can feel your eyes burning into my face."

Putting down your biology textbook aside for a minute before you turned to face the one who’d been looking at you as though you’d disappear at any given moment.

Minho stared at you, now narrowing his eyes as he scoffed lightly,

"I'm not staring."

You deadpanned him as you raised an eyebrow.

"Okay then, do what you called me here to do. Study."

You nonchalantly said, ignoring the slight pout forming on your boyfriend's face because today you definitely didn't need to waste any time.

"Oh come onnnn it's been almost 3 hours!"

He said in a whiny tone that even if you didn't want to, made you bite your inner cheek to prevent yourself from grinning.

You wouldn't think he would complain about not getting attention because he didn't ever have to actually. If he wanted it, he'd get it unasked, be it from your friends or you.

But lately, both Q and Dae had been busy with their own studies, hence that also meant spending less time with their other best friend.

And as for you, you weren't one to deny your oh so lovely boyfriend of attention, in fact you'd welcome him with open arms when he would suddenly hug you tightly or when he'd kiss you at any given moment.

Unfortunately for him, you'd also been busy with your own studies, having to work a bit harder since you struggled in a few subjects.

Still, you paid no mind as you continued to read over the text about chromosomal disorders even if you could see from the corner of your eye that Minho had moved closer to you.

You had both decided to study together, having done your studying alone in your dorm but on his insistence to study together, you agreed to come over to his place, currently sitting at his desk with all your necessary items laid out.

"Why do you even need to continue studying when you have the most handsome, amazing, fantastic and bloody hot guy right by your side?"

Snorting at him, you turned your gaze to look at him from the corner of your eye,

"Please, I'd never say bloody hot, that is such a…British thing to say."

"So you do admit everything else is right?"

He smugly said as he smirked at you.

"I don't have time to feed your ego, I'm busy."

Sighing, you turned away from him as you now moved your chair to have your back facing him.

If you could have been able to see his expression, you'd probably have laughed because he just puffed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. He felt even more frustrated because frankly he was tired of studying now.

Suddenly he got an idea that he knew would make you give in to him and as much as he found your current ignorance appealing, he'd never admit that to you, he wanted your attention then and there, and with him.

Scribbling on a piece of paper, a cheesy equation he'd found on instagram while scrolling on his explore page, yet he knew you'd find it adorable.

9x - 7i > 3 ( 3x - 7u )

9x - 7i > 9x - 21u

-7i > - 21u

i <3 u.

Lastly, finishing it off by drawing a small heart and adding a " ;) " at the end.

He folded the paper and quietly moved behind you, putting his hand above your head and slipping the note on the page you were reading.

Your gaze shifted to the sudden movement, curiously eyeing the note that was laid in front of you.

Putting your book on your lap, you opened the note with a little suspicion, Minho's face having a small grin upon successfully diverting your attention.

The second you opened the note, you read over the contents still keeping a straight face up until you saw the small "i <3 u” with a little winky face.

Snorting at the cheesiness of the note with an equation you were pretty sure you’d seen saved one of your plenty Pinterest boards,

“Love, we don’t even have a maths exam next, we have biology.”

Turning your chair you faced him, you bit your lower lip to prevent the grin from showing on your face.

It was Minho’s turn to now deadpan you,

“Even after I wrote such a…such a meaningful message portraying my true feelings, yet you’re still worried about studying when it’s almost been three hours already and you’re not even paying attention to me or what I want to say.”

“Babe I’m pretty sure I already saw this on Pinterest...and not to mention this is just 8th grade algebra.”

He glared at your words after his overdramatic speech to which you couldn’t help but burst out in giggles, he seemed like an angry little puppy when he glared at you like that.

“Okay okay fine, what do you want to do? I should take a study break anyways”

You asked putting aside the book, making sure to carefully place the note between the pages acting as a bookmark you’d always cherish.

With those words, it was as if a switch was flipped on his attitude and his eyes lit up as he grinned,excited to finally have your attention.

“So what I'm saying is we should…”

[ A few hours later, still, your “fifteen-minute break from studying suddenly extended to hours, as usual. ]

Laying on Minho’s bed, you’d both finished watching the final episode of a show that you binged on together, the laptop going into sleep mode since having been ditched after a while.

Minho laid down with his head in your lap, you sitting upright as you caressed his hair, something you loved to do and well who was Minho do deny his lover's affection when he admittedly loved it just as much, maybe even more.

"You know, I know I say you should be lucky to have me but honestly I got lucky having you."

He said randomly while looking at you, a gentle smile on his face and gaze shining with sincerity.

Even if it was quite a simple sentence, your heart still fluttered at the sincere tone and you too now had a small grin forming.

You hummed, now smiling at him, nodding as you pushed your fingers through his hair strands, gently patting them down as well.

"I meant it though. What I wrote in that…note." He said grinning up at you.

"Though I'm sad you didn't take me seriously at first." He slightly pouted to which you giggled at how offended his tone was.

"That's because you're an absolute idiot." You told biting your lip and just as he was about to protest, you leaned down and pecked his lips to shut him up, smiling at the way he complied so easily to you.

Moving back a bit, you whispered so tenderly as if the words should only be between you two.

"But you're still my idiot and I love you too."

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2023

links : main navi !

[kiwi-but-the-bird-not-the-fruit]

Male!Nefera x fem! Reader

Prompt- Nefero and the reader go to the mall to splurge on outfits and makeup

She/her pronouns

Fluff/Established relationships

Nickname for the reader- my jewel or my queen

(F/c)- favorite color

(S/f/c)- second favorite color

Edit* it's still good but it needs an update soon*

Art is not mine found it on pinterest

___________________________________________

It was a scareus Saturday the time was 9:23

Withing the De Nile home where a couple getting ready, it was Nefero and his girlfriend [Name], the two where getting ready by the vanity applying their own makeup.

[Name] was applying her lip combo and Nefero was applying the last but of contour on his high cheekbones "Any ideas for today's shopping spree date jewel?" Nefero picked up his setting spray and sprits it over his face

"Hmmm well I was hoping to get a few things maybe a new book to read tonight and a new makeup pallet but get two so we can match, how about that hon?"turning to her boyfriend and smiled at his struggle to fix his hair, she got up and grabbed his brush and got behind him "*sigh* thank you jewel. And ofcourse we xan have matching pallets it's been a while since the last two"

[Name] went through his long hair gently from the bottom up to his scalp, Nefero let out a low hum of satisfaction feeling his girlfriends soft hands on his scalp "no problem hon~" She then started a small braid from the side front downwards and added some hair jewelry  "do you have any specific color pallet in mind?"  [Name] ended decorating one braid and started one more on the other side

Nefero looked at her from the vast mirror of the vanity he stared for a minute with a quizzed look "hmmm I think we should get one with green, blue and gold tones with some shimmer in them" he puffed up his chest proudly as if it wasn't the same type he would get for them since it had his signature colors

what can he say? he loved to see her wear them on a makeup look or for clothes...maybe for underwear too

He blushed at the thought 'I should buy her a set' he chuckled lowly, snapping back to reality as [Name] finish decorating the last braid he turned getting up and holding her by the waist pressing his chest onto her's

[Name] was confused for a moment but soon placed her hand on his waist, the two looked at eachother with loving eyes "ready to go now my jewel" Nefero let go of her and grabbed her hand and with the other got their matching bags

They walked out of the house and into the limo with the sphinx bodyguards in tow

                           At the mall

The two are seen walking hand in hand with the sphinx's on each side of the couple

Ghouls stared in envy of [Name] who walked with confidence,her head held high while turning to Nefero and pointing at the shops, after a few seconds the two decide to head to a popular clothing store

Inside [Name] was fascinated to see the new trends in fashion right before her eyes, it all looked so clawsome!

Nefero turned to [Name] "Meet in 20 minutes and reunite at the dressing room, you'll try out first" the ghoul nodded excitedly and went to the racks,Nefero called from behind "Remember I'm paying!" She snickered ofcourse he would classic Nefero

                  Time skip 20 minutes

[Name] headed to the back of the store to the dressing rooms, she has 3 dresses, 2 tops for bottoms just 2 skirts, plus 3 pairs of shoes to try out

She meets Nefero and she quickly notices that he has a ton more items of clothing than her, which was to be expected from her splurging money boyfriend, don't get her wrong she would do the same but today felt like a minimal day today

She closed the distance between and kissed his cheek "Hey hon~you ready for these amazing picks I got!!" Nefero cup her face with his hands "Show me what you got my jewel" he encouraged and so the ghoul went straight to the dressing room to change quickly, so excited to show him

                        The first dress

Walking out [Name] wore a heart shape knee above the knee dress that was (f/c)  with ribbons that tied around her neck and a ribbon bow at the back with the strings going down to her knee

Nefero looked in aww at the chair he sat across from the stall, " it looks STUNNING on you my jewel!" He clapped enthusiastically "that color looks so good on you" [Name] smiled wide "thank you babe, I can't wait to wear this dress with those heels I like" she turned around and went to put the other ones

[Name] wore the other dresses that where one (s/f/c) that was tight on her skin showing her curves that made Nefero nose bleed and help up a thumbs up making the ghoul laugh harder than she ever did

The third dress was a floor length dark green dress with a slit up her thigh on her right leg, which she intentionally got for Nefero and he coincidently showed she got a suit with the same shade, that ment the next party her father needed to bring the two sons the couple could match, supper voltageus!

Next she wore the other outfits she planed with the two tops that one was a soft yellow the other a autumn orange and 2 skirts one was pencil skirt brown for the orange top and the other was a frilly white skirt for the light yellow top

 

                      On to Nefero

(A.N. I'm a little lazy so I'm not gonna describe his outfits but rest assured that he looked hot in everything)

He had gotten a whole new wardrobe just for him..well that was a little exaggerated but hey you get what I mean

It was an hour after and he was done and he looked good with everything he even had his own shirts that match my own (totally didn't get the sphinx bodyguard that was with you to tell him what you got)

           Time skip at the bookstore

[Name] and Nefero spent 2 hours at the beauty store but eventually found all that they needed and two brand new same eyeshadow pallets to match their makeup look which Nefero excitedly told [Name] that everyone will have another reminder who you are with  and to not think of you as a ghoul below him oh NO

YOU ESPECIALLY  where not below him to him you were a goddess above all else in his eyes

"Hey hon! Look at this cover!" Speaking of the goddesses here she was coming towards him with her radiant smile he looked at her with loving eyes thay was the billion time with the 5 years they've been together

"Let's see" he took it from her, it was a thriller book just like the others in her collection at her room at her parents house "it looks spooktaculas my jewel seems no matter how long we've been together there are two things that don't change about you"

The ghoul looked at him and tilted her head "and those are??" He chuckled and grabbed onto her waist and getting close to her, so close he could smell the sweet vanilla perfume she had put on earlier that made his knees weak by her intoxicating smell, he would have taken her right there but he was a man of class

" your taste in books and you're everlasting beauty inside and out that radiates every day of our life together" he spoke to her in such a sweet tone that it made her fall in love with him once more like the day he confessed

Passing the book the the sphinx next to him He cup her face with one hand and kissed her passionately their lips finding rhythm like the many time before this one and the ones to come

He parted the two where breathless he hummed lowly "your lips taste as of they where the forbidden fruit that lord me in and I let it every single time~~" he wisper into her ear making the girl flustered "thank you, now can we go? I'd like to taste you're forbidden fruit but alone if you get what I mean love" she whispers back

Nefero laughed "why ofcourse~ Let's buy those books and get out of here my queen" he grabbed your hand and kissed it gently making his way up to your collarbone as the two walked

Later on the two had a wonderful time~

_________________________________________

***Will be updating soon**

A.N.

Still not that good with smut need to practice but I'm getting good with the intimate kissing and descriptions! I think

I'll make a smut ending later on again need practice haha

Hope you liked this one