#edit their own stories; edit other peoples stories; make the tough call; have many regrets; want to get things done;

[thecheshirerat]

You know those moments where you realize that there is a Pattern and Parallels and Commonalities betwixt your most favorite blorbos and you just start. Levitating

[marjansmarwani]

we won the cosmic lottery

2.1k || ao3

When Mya convinces Carlos to try speed dating on what would otherwise be a lonely Valentine’s Day, he’s pretty sure it’s going to be a disaster. Until a man who manages to light up his world with one look slides into the seat before him, that is. Suddenly he’s feeling a lot more optimistic.

Or, Tarlos Alternate First Meeting: Speed Dating Edition

I wrote fluff again and I am probably more surprised than you are. 

But I found this prompt from @madamewriterofwrongs in my inbox from several months ago and figured why not write a Valentine’s Day fic and try to stretch those fluff muscles again. Beta’d by @officereyes 💕 

-----------

As bad ideas went, Carlos was pretty sure this was one. 

“I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.” 

“What, you had other hot plans for Valentine’s Day?” Mya asked him, raising a skeptical eyebrow at him over her drink. 

“No,” Carlos admitted, “but that doesn’t mean this was the correct alternative.” 

“Why not? You’ll waste an hour of your life, talk to some people, come out with some good stories if nothing else. I think it sounds like the perfect alternative to spending the night home alone with Netflix.” 

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” he told her, tipping his glass to her before taking another drink.

“I have tried it Carlos, far too many times. You have too - that’s why we’re here.” 

“To get a look at Austin’s future serial killers?” 

Mya rolled her eyes at him before lightly smacking his arm with her clutch, “No, Officer Buzzkill. We’re here for a chance to maybe meet Mr. or Ms. Right.” 

Carlos twisted on his stool to survey the crowd gathered in the reserved section of the bar. He typically didn’t like to make assumptions without at least trying to get to know someone first, but he could honestly say that none of the men in the crowd even gave him the slightest glimmer of hope for the evening. He should have stayed home. 

He turned back to Mya with a dubious expression and she rolled her eyes again, “Lighten up Carlos, at the very least it can’t hurt.”

Carlos cast a glance back to one guy who was leering at him from the other side of the room and grimaced, “I’m not too sure about that.” 

His partner opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by someone grabbing a microphone and calling the crowd to attention. 

“Good evening lonely hearts!” the host said once the din of the crowd had died down. Carlos shot Mya a look but she ignored him. 

“We’re going to get started here in a few minutes,” the host continued, “but before we start moving I just wanted to go over the specifics. Upon checking in you were given a bracelet. These are to help with the logistics. If you received a red bracelet you will be taking a seat at any of the open tables. If you got a pink one you will be rotating between the tables.”

Carlos glanced down at his wrist to see a red bracelet sitting there. Mya held up her own wrist to show another red one, “Looks like we both get to have people come to us tonight.” 

Carlos chuckled at her before turning his attention back to the host, who was still explaining the rules. 

“When the bell dings, you will rotate to the table to your right. You will have 3 minutes with each potential suitor and when the bell rings, you will move to the next one. Make sure that you write down their number and check yes or no before you part on the card provided - that’s how we will be pairing you! At the end of the evening we will be comparing all the lists and you will receive a list of the names and contact info of any suitors you mutually matched with to the email provided. After that, the ball is in your court! So make sure you make the most of these three minutes; it could be the time you find your soulmate!” 

The room filled with polite clapping and Carlos turned again to Mya, “You can’t be serious.” 

“Lighten up Reyes,” she said with a wink, “you wouldn’t want to scare your potential soulmate away.” 

“Fine, I’ll ‘lighten up’. But if one of these creeps murders me to make a skin suit, I’m holding you personally responsible.” 

“I don’t believe in ghosts so your threats have no effect on me.” 

There were several more things he wanted to say to his partner, but he was interrupted by the sound of the host telling them all to head to their respective areas. As they went to stand up, Mya reached out to touch his arm, “it’s going to be fine Carlos, really. You’ve got this; try to have some fun for once.” 

Her tone and expression were much more gentle than before and he took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax, “Thanks Mya,” he replied with a grateful smile. “Now go find Ms. Right.” 

She matched his smile and with a wave, she was gone. Carlos took another steady breath and headed to the guy’s section of the room, taking a seat at one of the tables. He pulled the card out of his jacket pocket and picked up one of the pencils waiting on the table, twirling it through his fingers anxiously. And when the first contender of the night slid into the seat before him he forced on a warm smile and held out his hand in greeting. Mya was right, he had this. 

--------

7 dates later he was less sure he had this. 

They hadn’t all been creeps, per se (though numbers 2 and 6 definitely had been) but they also hadn’t done anything to elicit any kind of spark in Carlos. They had been nice enough and reasonably good looking, but Carlos had decided a long time ago that good enough wasn’t worth the effort. If he was going to try and make a go of something with someone, they had to be someone who made him feel something. It had to be worth the risk. 

He was contemplating his abysmal luck when the next guy slid into the chair across from him. Carlos looked up and all coherent thoughts fled his head. This guy was... gorgeous was the only word Carlos could come up with that did him justice. Everything about him was perfect and Carlos couldn’t bring himself to look away. 

He eventually noticed the extended hand in what he sincerely hoped was a normal amount of time and took it, still studying him as he blurted out the first thought that came to mind: “I didn’t see you here before.” 

He definitely hadn’t been here when things were starting, Carlos would have noticed him in a crowd, he was absolutely sure about that. The other man smiled sheepishly, “yeah, I got here a bit late. I was trying to convince myself to actually come. My friends had to practically push me in the door.” 

Carlos chuckled, “My friend had to pretty much drag me here with her. Are your friends here?” 

“They’re at a bar down the street for ‘moral support’,” he responded with an eye roll, but a fond expression. 

“That’s so helpful.” 

“Isn’t it?” 

They both laughed again before Carlos suddenly realized they had yet to even exchange names, “I’m Carlos, by the way.” 

“TK, nice to meet you.” 

“That’s an interesting name. Does it stand for something?” 

TK grinned at him coyly, “It does, but that’s at least a level 4 backstory, and we’re barely at level one.” 

Carlos grinned back, feeling the quip come easily despite the butterflies definitely fluttering in his stomach, “Well, we’ve got some time to work on that. Personally though I recommend we skip over levels 1 and 2, those are mundane at best.” 

TK’s green eyes lit up as he laughed. The sound sent a shock through Carlos’s entire body and in that moment, Carlos decided he had been wrong. He owed Mya an apology: this had been an excellent idea after all. 

-----

His three minutes with TK had not been nearly long enough. When the bell had dinged he had nearly jumped out of his skin. He had been so absorbed in their conversation he hadn't noticed the passage of time. It felt like they had been talking all night, but also as if they had barely begun to talk at all. 

TK gave him an apologetic smile as he stood from his chair, “I guess that’s my cue. It was really nice talking to you though, Carlos.”

“Yeah, you too,” he responded. He hesitated for a moment as he studied the other man. In only three minutes he had felt more of a connection with TK than he had with people he had dated for weeks. Maybe it was that they were both first responders, maybe it was something else, but he wasn’t ready to let this go. So many things were mysteries, but Carlos knew one thing for sure: if he let TK walk away from him tonight, he might just end up regretting it for the rest of his life. 

“Would you maybe like to catch up when we’re done here? Maybe get a drink, talk some more?” 

TK paused mid-stride, raising an eyebrow, “You still have two more dates left, how do you know you won’t want to spend the evening with them instead?” 

“Call it intuition.” 

He could call it intuition or blind hope or desperation if he wanted, Carlos really didn’t care. He just knew in his gut that it was right, that TK was someone he needed to get to know more. TK was still considering him, and Carlos anxiously awaited his verdict. This was so far outside of his comfort zone and he was pretty sure that if TK turned him down he was going to head back to his condo tonight and not leave for at least two days, too buried in embarrassment and shame to face the outside world. But this felt worth the risk; he just hoped he hadn’t read these feelings wrong. 

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime passing in the moment of a breath, TK smiled. “I’d like that,” he said, “I guess bachelors 9 and 10 are out of luck for both of us then.” 

“Try to let them down easy.” 

TK laughed again, squeezing his shoulder as he walked away, “As long as you promise to do the same—getting turned down by you would be a tough pill to swallow, Carlos. Try to break their hearts gently.”  

-------

Carlos was still feeling the euphoria of TK’s smile 10 minutes later when a figure slid into the seat next to him at the bar. He turned eagerly, ready to see TK’s eyes again and felt disappointment, followed by instant guilt, when it wasn’t TK but Mya occupying the seat next to him. 

“Well that was a waste of time,” she declared as she slumped forward onto the bar, “you were right. I shouldn’t have dragged you here, I’m sorry. Wanna go get tacos at that truck you love to drown our sorrows?” 

“Actually,” Carlos began, but their conversation was interrupted by the sound of someone calling his same from behind them. They turned in tandem and Carlos felt his heart beat just a little faster at the sight of TK, who was looking between him and Mya. 

“Hey Carlos, I just wanted to see if you were ready for that drink yet. If you’re not we can...” 

Mya interrupted before TK could finish his sentence, “I was just leaving, actually. I’m Mya, by the way—Carlos’s partner and friend.” 

TK turned his gorgeous smile on her and held out a hand, “TK Strand, nice to meet you.” 

“TK’s a firefighter,” Carlos told Mya, biting back a smile as she raised an eyebrow and TK nodded, “I’m with the 126.”

“Well, TK Strand with the 126, take good care of my partner here. He’s pretty special.” 

“I’ve already gotten that feeling,” TK agreed, giving Carlos another grin that he felt straight through to his soul. 

Mya smirked as she stood from her seat, looking between them as she pulled out her keys, “I’d say have a good rest of the night, but I think that’s already a given. I’ll see you on Monday Carlos, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“And that would be what, exactly?” 

Mya shrugged as she started to walk away, “I’m sure I’ll think of something.” 

“Text me when you get home!” he called after her. 

“Yes mom!” she called back as she reached the door. Before she opened it to head out into the Austin night she turned one more time and shot him a smile and a thumbs up. He rolled his eyes fondly, but nodded. Then she was gone and he turned all of his attention to the man beside him. He was grinning too and Carlos was starting to get the feeling that he might never get used to the things that smile did to him.  

TK slid into Mya’s abandoned seat and leaned closer to him, “So where do we start?” 

Carlos smiled back and waved down the bartender to get drinks for them. He wasn’t sure where to begin, but he had a feeling wherever it was would be the beginning of something great. He turned and caught TK’s eyes again, savoring the warmth that emanated from them. 

Tonight may have started out feeling like a mistake, but he was starting to think it may have actually been more like fate. 

[hatake-no-sharingan]

A Well Loved Copy (PART 2: Pieces of you)

Kakashi x Reader

Story Summary: Your cozy life as a bookseller is disturbed when a box of the worst books you could ever imagine arrives at your store, and with them a certain silver haired ninja to whom you are definitely not attracted.  

Chapter 1: CLICK HERE

Chapter summary: You give into Kakashi’s book. As you start to read, you realize the book he left you has more than one story to tell. It reveals many things about this wonderful stranger who visited your shop a few days ago.

Relationship: Kakashi x Reader

Warnings: None (it has a bit of mature references, but it’s not very graphic, just be careful and read under your own discretion)

A/N: I really liked how this turned out and now I have a clear path as to where the story is headed. This chapter is a bit of the exposition, you’ll really get to know the MC better. Hopefully you guys like it. I promise next chapter will be happier and have the charming fluffy Kakashi we all crave and love, but I needed this chapter to give it the depth the story needs. 

Special thanks to @seventh-line for editing, she’s your quality control guys! She’s preventing you all from reading a mess hehe. (the story wouldn’t be what it is without you <3 )

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS: CLICK HERE

Pieces of you

You run your fingers across the cover, mimicking the same motion you saw him do in the shop yesterday. For a moment, it’s not paper you’re touching, but silky cool skin.

You read the first chapter with a frown on your face, your eyes reluctantly darting from one word to the other. Before you know it, you’re through the first part of the story, and it was infuriatingly....good.

The main character is likable from the start. There’s something about the way she talks that makes you want to be her friend. She’s sexy and confident, but a complex character too, with a dense storyline and fatal flaws.

You hate to admit it, but the book really draws you in. You begin to regret having judged Kakashi so harshly. You find yourself deeply enthralled, wondering what will happen next.

There’s way more story than there is porn, contrary to how you imagined it. Customers come and go and you barely lift your eyes to charge them for their items, always eager for them to leave so you can return to your reading.

You usually devour a book in a day or two, depending on the complexity of the story, but this time, you’re purposefully taking longer with each page. Not because the writer, Jiraiya, wove a prose too elevated to understand, he didn’t, but because each page held a secret message that told the story of its owner.

The book you’re holding tells two stories, the one the author wrote, printed massively, the same as the other copies you have on the shelf. But this book you have here, is unique. Its pages, the spine, the cover, they all tell a whole other story. Kakashi’s story.

Just who are you? The book isn’t just a copy of a romance novel, it’s the pieces of Kakashi wound up and bound together in a single object. It tells more truth about him than his silly biography on the history shelf ever will. Each time you flipped through a page, you felt closer to that man you’ve only met once.

You encounter a dozen different things that give dimension to your mental image of Kakashi. Bite marks on the bottom left corner, probably made by a small dog. Clumsily highlighted quotes, usually romantic ones. A sticky residue from what appeared to be food, maybe dango, which would’ve made you gag usually but didn’t this time. You catch yourself smiling more than once as you go on a journey with the little pieces of this man scattered throughout.

When you get to a steamy scene, you check if the store is empty, and then indulge yourself. The excitement rises to the pit of your stomach.

The main character just confessed her love for the antagonist, who *plot twist* isn’t the antagonist. He’s always been in love with her and had just become part of the evil criminal organization to protect her. After an incredibly intense fight, he tells her the truth, and she can’t resist her attraction to him anymore. Between blood, and bruises, she melts into his body. His calloused hands grasp her hips, and he pulls in her as close as he can. He slips her dress down, and she’s burning with desire. Your hands shake slightly and your breath becomes faster, heat rushing to your thighs.

She looks into his eyes, and threads her hands through his damp hair, making him moan hoarsely with the motion. In a deliciously slow motion he -

You close the book startled by the sound of the door chime to see a petite woman comes into the store with two little kids.

“Y/N?” Yume stares at you in disbelief “is this really you?”

You’re always happy to see your best friend, except now. You try to hide the book, uselessly, because she’s already noticed.

“Yeah why would I not be me?” You ask with a nervous giggle, pretending not to know what she’s talking about.

She turns towards the children and tells them to go look for something in the kids section. They run towards the colorful shelves decorated with animal decals happily. Then, to you she says “I mean what in the literary hell are you reading? The real Y/N wouldn’t ever touch those books”

Your cheeks get hot and you let out a nervous laugh

She takes the book from your hands and examines the cover

“This is one tough loved book. Which trash can did you fish it out of?”

“Stop, give it back!” you say reaching for it, but she pulls it away “and I didn’t take it out of a trash can. Someone lent it to me, and they happen to take it on rough missions”

“Y/N? What are you telling me? Don’t say this belongs to a...” she flips to the first page, and right below the title she sees the sloppy handwriting where he marked the book as his.

Hatake

“Shinobi” she whispers as her eyes widen, a gesture of pain crossing her face.

You want to say something, but find yourself stammering and at a loss for words. You know how she feels about shinobi, and you understand, but there’s something about Kakashi that intrigues you so much, that pulls you closer to him. Not to mention how kind he was that he brought the book to you, even if he’d been cocky when you met.

“You know they’re dangerous. And Kakashi Hatake’s copy? Seriously? He’s said to be one of the worst. You know some people call him the friend killer. What does that mean? The guy is nothing but trouble. Interacting with shinobi more than necessary will get you killed.”

You keep searching for words, but you cannot find them. The man you’ve met, read about, the guy who enjoys these novels, who keeps a bookmark made by three kids, who couldn’t stand the thought of you hating his favorite books, doesn’t match what she’s saying. It can’t, not for you. But you know there’s truth in what Yume says too.

He is a dangerous shinobi, he’s a known ex-ANBU, and it was true, his teammates once went on missions with him and they never came back.

“Now I don’t know if he killed them or not. Maybe he didn’t, not intentionally. But the fact is, his whole team is dead. Wherever he goes, death follows.” Yume paused, turning to stare out the window, arms crossed, “Wherever Shinobi go, death follows, or have you forgotten what happened to Kei?” She rubs the back of her head, frustrated. Her voice sounds strained now, as if going on with this conversation is too painful for her.

She takes a deep breath and looks directly into your eyes.

“Now I have two sons I didn’t ask for, and I love them. Don’t think I don’t love them, but don’t you think they miss their mother? The real one. Do you think I don’t miss my sister?”

Your friend asks finally.

You stay quiet. She takes her children and leaves without getting them anything. The remnants of your conversation leaving a dent in your heart.

You hate to see her go like that, mad at you, because you know her pain, and you love her.

Knowing those things about Kakashi should scare you away, but all it does is break your heart for him.

He shouldn’t have gone through that pain alone. Nobody should. In the end, Yume had her nephews, now her adopted sons, and her mother. You have your mother too.

As far as you knew, Kakashi Hatake, elite ninja, ex ANBU, mourned alone.

Everyday you wait for him to show up at the bookstore again, so you can prove to yourself he is the kind man you’ve found in the pages of this book. He doesn’t show up.

Taglist: @theunknownrandom @seventh-line

[ghoste-catte]

multiples of 3 ✌🏼-sgmdrcklee

@sagemoderocklee you’re really trying to kill me lol

This got long as heck so I’m throwing it behind a cut. Read on for answers and fic recs! (Mostly the fic recs)

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

This is a tough one to answer for me generally because I tend to spit words onto the page and once I have written them I no longer remember writing them. And 2020 has stretched on so long that as I’m looking at some of the stuff I wrote in the beginning of this year, I hardly remember what’s even in it. I think at one point someone (@goblin-draws maybe?) mentioned a line in Sleeptalk with Me where the innkeeper calls Kankuro “chubby boy”, and I was like “Oh ... did I write that? Yeah, sounds like something I’d have someone say to Kankuro ...” 

It might be easier to talk about this in other terms. One of the scenes I worked the hardest on this year was the fight scene in Chapter 3 of Skeleton Key. The original draft of the scene was a lot shorter, and a lot of the backstory for Misaki’s revenge quest was elided. The scene as originally written was clunky, confusing, and as my lovely wife/beta put it sounded “like a Naruto villain” was doing the dialogue, when previously she’d found Misaki sinister and intriguing. Which wasn’t what I wanted. I basically entirely overhauled the scene and re-wrote it several times. I wouldn’t call it a ‘favorite’ scene (I hate writing fight scenes generally; having chosen to immerse myself in a fandom about ninja where much of the drama comes from battle is my eternal regret), but it is a scene that I put a lot of effort into, and I’m moderately satisfied with the improved product that resulted.  

6. least popular fic this year

By far my least popular fic by kudos ever is Pitch Perfect. Which makes complete sense to me. It’s a fic where I’ve written 2 characters who are men in canon as cis women, which pushes a lot of uncomfortable buttons for a lot of people. It contains F/F smut, which is something that a lot of people who choose to read GaaLee probably aren’t out there looking for. And people comment and kudos less on smutfics, I assume because they don’t want their username attached to porn or because they’re embarrassed (which I totally get, no shame there). It’s a modern AU with a sports twist, and AUs are often less popular than canonverse in my experience. I will say though that it has a surprisingly high number of private bookmarks compared to other fics with comparable hit and kudos counts. So I assume people are just a bit more shy because the premise is so ‘out there’. I will say as far as my fics go, it’s one of my personal favorites and probably one of the most intimate and true-to-life things I’ve written? So it actually is a little comforting to know that something so vulnerable has relatively little attention. 

9. longest wip of the year

If we’re going based on stuff that’s partially published but not complete, my Gaara-adopts-Shinki fic On My Way Home is my longest in-progress fic at just over 20k words, although technically I started it in 2019. It will probably end up being right around 40-50k when it’s complete, which might end up situating it as my longest fic ever? 

12. favorite character to write about this year

Okay, this is an easy one. I love writing Kankuro. I think he is hilarious. He is the devil on my shoulder and a creature of pure id, and every time I write a line of dialogue for him it’s the summation of my rudest thoughts about a situation put in the crudest possible terms. If there were a megaphone directly from my unfiltered brain giving running commentary, that would be Kankuro.

15. something you learned this year

I have learned SO much this year! This is only my 2nd year properly ‘focusing’ on writing fic and investing any substantial time into it. I think the biggest thing I have learned, though, is how to overcome a lot of my self-consciousness about writing stories with NSFW elements in them. Starting out, I was so extremely shy and mortified about writing fic at all, much less things like hugging or (god forbid!) kissing. So taking on the smut prompts I took this year and really buckling down on learning to write the mechanics and emotions of sex has been a massive learning experience. (And sorry, by the way, if I haven’t gotten to a prompt you sent me in January yet. I do intend to write all of them eventually!) 

18. current number of WIPs

Ah. The call-out question. My general fic process is idea -> outline -> wip -> edit -> ready to post (where the final draft sits in my docs until I gin up the courage to actually post it). So skipping fics that are just “ideas” on the big mega-list, I have 3 fics in the “outline” stage, 13 fics in the partially written “wip” stage, 1 fic in the “editing” stage, and 2 that are complete but yet-to-be-posted. So, like, 19 total in the offing. (The “ideas” list is even worse lol.)

21. most memorable comment/review

This is such a difficult question because every single comment I get makes me do a little dance for joy. That’s not an exaggeration btw I really sit there and like bounce around in my seat for a moment before I open the Ao3 email. I am not an especially emotive person irl, but there have been times I’ve been brought near tears by comments. I’ll also occasionally show them to my wife like !! look at this nice thing this person said !! and she’s indulgent enough to actually read them. There have been a couple comments that have really stuck with me, that I starred in my inbox and return to frequently, but I don’t want to bring attention to someone else without their permission. I will say there was one person recently who mentioned (not in the comments on one of my fics) that they had found someone who does physical binding of fanfiction and they were about to ask my permission to do that, but then the person who does the binding only does certain ships that she likes ... so that, just, absolutely floored me. The idea that someone might actual want a physical copy of my stupid little ninja fanfictions is, like, so truly immense and completely overwhelming?

24. favorite fic you read this year

You can’t make me pick just one!! (For reference, I have bookmarked right around 180 fics in the past year, and that’s not including fics that I just read, really enjoyed, but didn’t think I could ‘handle’ a second time around.) So, skipping over the ones that AREN’T Naruto ... here is a brief sampling of some faves:

Silica by deepestbluest (rated E, GaaLee, ShikaTema, and Kankiba) - An absolute emotional powerhouse of a fic that manages to skillfully interweave three complex relationship dynamics, satisfactorily resolve them, and give you ALL the sandsibs feels in just over 10k words. 

Childhood Not-Friends (series) by MegaWallflower (rated G, KakaGai) - @megawallflower is a KakaGai god for good reason. Absolutely adorable relationship development fics (five of them!) with the premise that Kakashi thinks he and Gai have been dating since they were kids ... Gai just hasn’t been clued into it yet. These stories will give you heart-eyes.

The Bright Side by gidget_goes (rated T, GaaLee) - This is the Buffy AU I never knew I needed, because I’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But truly you don’t need any Buffy knowledge to enjoy this fic. @gidget-goes command of imagery is masterful, and the way they manage to snap from snark to tugging at your heartstrings is awe-inspiring. Gaara breaks my heart in this. And did I mention Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat? Because Kankuro wears a 10-gallon hat. 

Nature vs. Nurture by Bidiza (rated T, GaaLee) - So introspective and so poetic. This looks like a WIP but it’s actually multiple oneshots, although by the end of the second one you’ll be dying for the rest of the promised series. 

I’m a Fool to Want You by BeelieveRosemarie (rated M, GaaLee) - Turns out @tuttiefruttiegaalee isn’t just an amazing artist, they’re a writer, too! Slow-dancing that will break your heart. Listen to the Frank Sinatra song while you read this for extra tear-jerking effect.

Let Love be Known (series) by TenTomatoes (rated G, GaaLee) - This is the twist on the arranged marriage trope and Beauty and the Beast that I didn’t realize this fandom was missing. I’m absolutely obsessed with their concept of Gaara as the Beast

I Could Be by LilacNoctua (rated T, GaaLee) - I know I big up @lilac-writes Worthwhile series a lot (deservedly so, because it’s so good it makes you look at the series and go “Why the fuck didn’t Kishimoto make this canon exactly like this?”), but this story made me absolutely die between the butterflies in my stomach and how hard I was laughing. There’s one line--you’ll know it when you read it--that absolutely bowls me over every time I re-read this. 

And Then Continue by EgregiousDerp (rated E, GaaLee) - Obviously I’m biased because this was a gift, but @egregiousderp writes some of the the best characterized porn I’ve ever read. You will read this and go “Wow! This is exactly how it would happen!” It’s such a tender, beautiful exploration of Gaara’s insecurities and a very real feeling first time, for all its soft edges. 

Cake by citronelle (rated E, KanKiba) - I don’t even know what to say about this one other than ... phew, this is extremely well written, extremely hot, and extremely in character. Just read it. I promise it’s worth it. 

Saudade by YumKiwiDelicious (rated M, GaaLee) - I’ve run around reccing this to just about every person on the face of the earth at this point. If you’re in the GaaLee Discord you probably saw everyone salivating over every new update of this fic and with good reason. The twists and turns of this fic will have you on the edge of your seat, second guessing every single moment. And it will break your heart in the meantime. What more could you want?

the love potion commotion by floating_cats (rated T, NejiSasu with background GaaLee) - One of those fics where you wish the author’s sense of humor was your own. So many hilarious moments in this story, and it brought me a new appreciation for a ship I never would have even considered. 

Finger Lickin’ Good by whazzername (rated E, GaaLee) - Whazz is another one of those authors where I literally want to rec every single thing she’s ever written, she’s just that good. (Speaking of which, if you haven’t read Fools Rush In and its sequel Degrees of Separation, you’re missing out on the best possible Metal origin story of all time. Don’t deprive yourself of this.) But this story is just ... so incredibly in character for a situation that reads like crack. It’s handled with the utmost straight-facedness and it’s so. freakin’. good. 

heart lines by winterberry_holly (rated M, NejiTen and GaaLee) - I don’t even have the words to describe how perfect this fic is. It’s a truly beautiful exploration of Tenten’s relationship with her palmistry hobby and with the people in her life. My heart ached with every single line. 

Standing on Ceremony by kuroashi (rated E, GaaLee) - This is just ... such a beautiful wedding story. So lovely, like getting the best possible warm hug from someone you love. If that love one was slightly strange and socially inept, because, well. It’s still Gaara doing Gaara-things. @baphometsss is another one of those authors whose handling of smut scenes is so stupendous it makes me wildly jealous. 

Thrall by RokiRiot (rated T, GaaLee) - Idiots-to-lovers with a magic AU twist! This is such a wonderful story, and Gaara’s internal monologue is absolutely amazing. And Lee is Deaf in this fic, which I never ever get to see and which absolutely made my entire day/week/month/life. 

Make-Out Consequences by LuxaLucifer (rated M, KakaGai with background canon Boruto ships) - I laughed so hard reading this that I had to take a breather to stop crying. That’s not an exaggeration. The characterization in this fic is impeccable and the humor is to die for. Naruto’s buffoonery truly shines here, and the author’s wit is just beyond anything I could even properly summarize. Hysterical. A++. 

Thirteen Strokes by Luna_Lee (rated T, GaaLee) - Again, like, if you aren’t reading literally everything @sagemoderocklee writes, are you even really a GaaLee fan? But this fic is beyond even for one of Eeri’s incredibly excellent writings. The worldbuilding in this, the cultural notes, the imagery ... it’s all so lush and so fulfilling and so beautiful. It’s a story about love and it’s a story that you can tell has love poured into every single line. I can’t recommend it enough. 

Checkmate by shadowstrangle (rated G, GaaLee) - The pettiness vibes ... this is so funny. Such a cute story and I love Gaara’s sense of humor here. Not a lot of writers give him a sense of humor, but I love how @shadowstrangle gives him a slightly odd, slightly left-of-center take on humor that still manages to be so funny. 

To Court a Village by FanFictionEngineer (rated G, GaaLee) - Another one where my bias is perhaps slightly obvious, but the premise of this fic is amazing. I love cultural misunderstandings, and the idea of Lee trying his hardest to court Gaara ineptly is just so perfect. 

affliction of feeling by theformerone (rated E, SakuHina) - One of those ships that it would never have occurred to me to seek out but that absolutely works with how the author’s set it up. The dynamics here are delicious. It’s so rare to find good F/F porn but this is one of them for sure. 

Tried and Tested by twentysomething (Rated M, KakaIru with background canon Boruto ships and GaaLee) - Iruka’s narration in this story is just incredible. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a fic in ages. And the concept alone (that Naruto can’t be promoted to Hokage until he passes his chuunin exams ... as an adult ... and Sasuke gets dragged along for the ride) is just brilliant. Amazing concept, amazingly executed. 

a fireside waltz by winterberry_holly (rated M, GaaLee) - I really tried not to rec a single author more than once here but for this one I had to. I got about halfway through this fic and immediately started running around ringing the town crier bell like READ THIS FIC! READ THIS FIC! An absolutely smoldering Regency AU with such beautiful, intimate dance scenes. My heart was racing every single time their fingers brushed. If you don’t read anything else on this list, at the very least read this. 

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

I really can’t pick just one. I am lucky enough that @egregiousderp passes me her drafts under the table before (or without) publishing, and getting to read those is a private treat of unparalleled proportions. Some of my favorite things I’ve read this year I can’t even rec because they’re her unpublished stuff. 

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

This is gonna come off strange because I just wrote such a long Naruto reclist, but I recently watched What We Do in the Shadows, and found an incredibly talented group of authors in that fandom with really amazingly good dialogue and narrative voice. I also read a lot of fic for the new It movies (even though I couldn’t watch the 2nd one for ~reasons~), and damn if there isn’t a talented crop of authors in that fandom, too. And finally with ATLA making its way onto Netflix, I had the chance to start watching that for the first time and found a ton of really good fic there as well! 

fanfic end of the year asks!

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

Grace Heals 01: How Did You Betray Simon?

This is dedicated to the growth and wellness of Grace Monroe. I hadn’t seen much fic content for where Grace may go next that wasn’t centered around “fixing” the series. I don’t feel like it needs fixing, but just wanted to venture where I’d love to see Grace go and be as she works on things after we last see her in Book 3. So, everything that was canon precedes this story that I’ve began for my beloved baby girl @pearlseleganciess and my sister @andromidagalaxie (I cannot tag you sis, I don’t understand why, so I’m sorry, but this goes out to you). @i-am-a-passenger Idek if you wanna read it, but it seems like something we’d be on about in the messages, so I’m tagging you at least to this one to see how you feel.

“How did you betray Simon?”

Grace had been standing there for a while, after having had every denizen plaything brought to her so that she could try to see if they could be mended. She was taking a break whenever Lucy’s voice rescued her from her thoughts, but it took her a moment to try to process the question. “How did I, or why did I? We have to get in the habit of clarifying our questions before giving our answers, so that we know what we’re saying. That way… There are no misunderstandings and if anybody is hurt, it’s not because we lied to them.”

“Is that how it happened? You were unclear when you lied to him?” Lucy sounded a little disappointed in that thought.

“No. I was clear. I deliberately lied. I thought that I was doing what was best, and I stand by it. But… I get that… maybe if Simon and I could’ve been clearer sooner, understood each other more instead of just leaning into what we thought we needed… Maybe I wouldn’t have felt like I needed to lie to protect Hazel. Maybe we would’ve been better for each other. Maybe we wouldn’t have misguided so many kids that I genuinely wanted to help in the same way that I thought I was helping Simon…” 

Lucy picked up Simon’s book and began scribbling in it. “If we’re going to change our language, maybe I should edit out every usage of the N word.” Grace appreciated that she took the liberty of doing so on her own, instead of looking to her for permission. “Replace the Null of Dissention with… The Denizen of… Repentance?… No. That’s too long. I’ll just put H.. was it Hazel?” Grace’s eyes welled with tears and Lucy’s good eye noted it. She nodded once, “It was Hazel,” she said, going through to edit. 

She stared at the book for a while longer, then finally said, “I meant how. How did you betray Simon? I didn’t know him as long as you did, and I didn’t like him as much as you did, but it was still really hard for me not to listen to him. Even when what he said sounded wrong. What he said about you didn’t sound like you. But, I believed him. I trusted him. How did you figure out how to not trust him? How did you decide not to follow the king?” Lucy looked shaky, regretful. She was asking for instructions, not for Grace to explain herself. 

Still, Grace had to be certain, just like she promised, to be clear about the conversations she had with others and to answer them to the best of her knowledge. She couldn’t be a know-it-all anymore. She had to just be honest and straightforward, even when she didn’t know, and do her best to understand what was being asked of her, instead of presuming. “Lucy… Are you asking me this as a way to help you figure out how to learn to stick up for yourself?”

“I want to be brave enough to overthrow an unfit leader. Simon was an unfit leader. A lot of us had to have known. I couldn’t be the only one who didn’t like... the changes…”

Grace sighed and nodded her head. She sat down, legs sprawled and rested her elbows on her knees as she thought, “Well… I think that first and foremost, the important thing to understand is that even if you were the only one who didn’t like it, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with not thinking like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with thinking for yourself and having a different opinion than other people. The problem isn’t in our opinions, but our actions. Whenever I… realized that I cared about Hazel, I knew that Simon had a different opinion, but… my actions. I wanted so much to keep what I had with Simon, to keep our peace, to keep him happy, I hurt a little girl that thought I cared about her. I couldn’t take that back.”

“We were going to wheel you… Can… can we not take that back?” Lucy asked, worried.

“The good news is that I made it. I know how it feels to let down a friend and to hurt them, and I never want to make you feel that way. As long as we’re both still here, there is time to change, and time to talk it out. So, to answer your question, we can’t undo what we’ve already done, but we can use what we learn from what we did wrong to do better in the future.”

“But… Do you hate us? Doesn’t some part of you hate us, like Simon hated you when you betrayed him?” Lucy was now losing her tough exterior and clenching the book tightly.

Grace reached out and touched her shoulder. She loosened up and Grace took the book from her and tossed it aside to hold both of her hands.

“I could never hate you, Lucy. You and me, we’ve gone through something together that has forever changed us. I’m really glad that you have a better chance now.”

Lucy shook her head and started crying, “But, what if we had wheeled you? What if we had wheeled you like all of those nulls that we’ve wheeled, and now have to think about how wrong it was for us to do that to them? What if we had to think about that too? About having done it to you?”

“You didn’t! You didn’t!” Grace said, trying to calm her. 

She reached for a hug, but Lucy resisted and shook her head. “I called you a void. I knew that it didn’t seem right, but I still listened to Simon. You should be throwing me to the wheels.”

Grace clasped her hands together and sputtered out a breath. “Nobody should be thrown to the wheels. Believe it or not, I wouldn’t have even wanted that for Simon. I loved him more than I can put into words. From the first time I saw that I needed to protect him, that’s… just what I did. It was nice, to be needed. It was nice to have someone see me and see the best,” Tears were in Grace’s eyes now, “And it was so hard to have him see me and see the worst. For a moment, I even thought that I deserved it. I thought, what I’m guessing you’re thinking, that because I did something to hurt him, maybe I had to do more to help him.”

“You told him a stupid lie and he tried to kill you. I feel like that’s an overreaction,” Lucy complained. “He failed us.”

“No, Lucy. We failed you. He’s just the one who didn’t live to fix it.”

“Shouldn’t all fall on you,” Lucy said and kicked Simon’s book off the table.

“And, it doesn’t. Remember, we’re doing this together. I can try to help you, but I can’t fix everything. But, you have me here and I’m telling you the truth when I say that you deserve to get to change. Everybody does.”

“Then, why can’t everybody change? Why couldn’t Simon?”

Grace shook her head and blinked away more stinging tears, “I can’t answer for Simon, but maybe a part of life continuing is not having an answer for everything. Maybe… we’ll all do our best to find answers that are good and sound, because we saw how… badly it could end… if we’re not willing to see any other ways but our own.  I know I'm willing to give it my best shot." Lucy nodded her head and finally was ready for a hug. Grace squeezed her tightly, thinking of Hazel, but not wanting to equate Lucy and Hazel. They were both two very different little girls. She had regrets about Hazel, but she had also come to terms with that mentally. Maybe she would see her again, but probably not and she couldn’t equate every kid she knew with Hazel; just like she shouldn’t have equated every kid she met with a sad short boy in socks and sandals.

But, she was never going to stop loving either of them. That was just… How she was. People didn’t get close to her and the ones who had… Well, she was going to have to learn how to let other people get close too. It would take some of these kids a long time to trust this new evolution of hers, but most of them wanted to. 

Lucy had wanted to. “Umm… Grace?”

“Yes, Lucy?”

“Can… you stop hugging me. It’s getting a little uncomfortable.” Grace quickly let go and placed her hand on the back of her neck, laughing. Lucy just smiled at her, almost like you would some poor silly fool. “Thank you for clearing it up,” Lucy said and picked up Simon’s book off of the floor. “On second thought, I don’t think we need this. I’m gonna wheel it,” Lucy said. Grace wanted to stop her, for sentimental reasons, but… None of the other kids touched Simon’s things. There would be something that she could hold on to, whenever she had the nerve to go in there. That book… it was probably filled with things that she never wanted to think about, with all the parts of Simon that she didn’t quite notice until she started changing. 

“Lucy!” She called after her, realizing that she had never answered her question. The girl stopped, panicked for a moment, thinking that maybe she had done something wrong. “I changed. That’s how I betrayed him. I became a person that valued something more than I valued what we had, what we built.”

“But… you built something that was bad,” Lucy said. Grace nodded. “So, you changed into someone good.”

“I changed into someone who was thinking from a good place. I don’t know if I feel comfortable saying that I became good.”

“I feel comfortable saying it, because I have a different opinion than you, and that’s okay.” Grace smiled at Lucy as she trotted along to the door to get rid of the book. At least somebody believed that she was good.

[nerdzzone]

Light After Dark: Chapter Six

Summary: Brooke Harris was trying her best to be grateful. As the world tackled the COVID-19 pandemic, she was healthy and safe and so was the rest of her family, but her dreams had very quickly been crushed by the economic fallout. Trapped on the quaint island of Jersey with nothing, but free time to wallow in her mistakes, Brooke’s mental health was taking a hit, but when she collides with a handsome stranger she starts to realize that the future might not be so bleak and there might still be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

Content warning: Mention of overdose and past death of a close friend. It’s not too detailed, but I wanted to give people a heads up just in case.

________

May. 12. 2020 

Henry: I have a proposition for you

Me: That makes me slightly nervous

Me: What is it?

Henry: Would you like to go on a hike?

Henry: We can keep our distance and I've heard it's harder to spread/catch if you're outside

Henry: I completely understand if you're not comfortable though

I thought about it for a moment. As long as there wasn't too many people out on the trails then it should be pretty low risk as long as we kept our distance and I hadn't been out of the house at all since taking the cake over to Henry's house for his birthday. So, after my brief deliberation, I accepted his invitation.

Henry: Great, meet me at my house in twenty?

Me: Sounds good!

I quickly dragged myself off the couch, threw all the necessities into a bum bag, grabbed a sweater from my closet and shouted goodbye to my family with a brief explanation of where I was headed. They shouted a few questions back, but I rushed out the door without giving them a chance to get too nosy.

Me: On my way!

I sent to Henry when I was about halfway there before adding another message

Me: All masked up and ready to go

Me:

 As I turned onto Henry's street, he was standing outside his house, looking down at his phone as Kal sniffed the sidewalk around him.

"I like your sweater," Henry smirked as I got within a reasonable distance.

"Thanks," I smiled. "I thought it might scare any bears we might run into. You know, they might get confused and think I'm one of them."

Henry laughed and shook his head.

"There's no bears in Jersey that aren't locked up in a zoo," He informed me. "There's absolutely no dangerous wildlife around here."

"That's reassuring," I smirked. "But it's better to be safe than sorry."

"Fair enough," Henry chuckled before pausing. "Would you feel more comfortable if I wore a mask as well?"

I appreciated his offer, but shrugged.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," I assured him. "I know you've been staying pretty isolated and I'll probably take it off once we're off the main roads, but it just gives me peace of mind if we run into anyone along the way."

"Alright," He smiled. "Shall we head off then?"

I nodded and we started off down the street, Henry whistling for Kal to follow. He did so obediently, nudging his nose against my hand before walking a few paces ahead of us.

"I'm glad Kal gets to come," I commented. "But aren't you worried he might dart off after any little critter he sees?"

"Not really," Henry shrugged, respectfully staying on the edge of the road, just off the sidewalk as I walked along the opposite side. "I've got him quite well-trained. He might get distracted, but as soon as I call him he'll come back."

"What a good boy!"

Kal's tail wagged at that, but he was too busy sniffing around some bushes to pay much attention to us.

"He is," Henry nodded. "He's been an amazing asset. He comes with me every where I go and I can't imagine getting through this whole acting experience without him."

"That's really sweet," I smiled. "I always wanted a dog, but it's such a big commitment. I wouldn't want to get one and then be too busy to give it the kind of life it deserves."

"It is a massive commitment," He agreed. "I'm very lucky that I'm able to bring Kal on almost all of my travels and that when I'm on set there's always someone happy to keep him company."

"Well who wouldn't want to keep him company? He's gorgeous."

I held back a remark about dogs looking like their owners as Henry grinned proudly and we fell into a comfortable silence.

****

It was only about a ten minute walk before we turned off the main road and onto a more secluded path. The sun was starting to get stronger as it was almost mid-afternoon so I slipped my mask down to my neck so that I wouldn't get too hot, but could cover up quickly if we passed anyone on the trails. Somewhere along the way we'd fallen into asking each other random questions and, while most of it was silly, some of it was proving to be rather informative.

"That's so boring," I wrinkled my nose when he told me that his favourite fruit was an apple. "Considering how much of a world traveller you are I would have expected something much more exotic."

Henry chuckled at that as he did every time I criticized one of his answers.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Maybe a papaya or a dragon fruit," I theorized. "Anything more exciting than a boring old apple."

"I don't think I've even tried either of those," He admitted. "Now, speaking of travelling, what's one place that you've not been to, but would love visit one day?"

I thought about it for a moment before answering.

"There's quite a few really, I haven't travelled nearly as much as I would have liked," I confessed. "But if I had to choose somewhere to go first, I think I'd choose Canada. Australia is a close second, but I'm terrified of spiders and I hear there's a lot there. So Canada, the part where the mountains and lakes are."

"My brother lives there," Henry's face lit up. "My younger brother, Charlie. He lives in Calgary which, from my understanding, is quite close to the mountains and lakes."

"That's so cool," I smiled, my words dripping with envy. "Have you been to visit him?"

"No," He sighed. "Usually he's the one to come here. He was back briefly before the lockdown actually, but he left to be with his family just before I came back to Jersey so we didn't see each other."

He looked sad as he spoke and I felt a pang of sympathy in my chest.

"That must be hard," I said softly. "Especially not knowing when international travel will be back up and running."

"It's tough," He nodded. "I'm used to only seeing him once or twice a year, but it's definitely worse not knowing how long it will be until we can all be together again. He's safe though and so is his family and that's what matters the most these days, isn't it?"

I nodded in agreement before a smile slid onto my face.

"And now, you can tell your brother that you'll be visiting as soon as you're allowed to because I fully intend to take advantage of this connection and make you take me there."

"Make me?" Henry laughed. "And how do you intend to do that?"

"I can be very persuasive," I smirked with a suggestive lift of an eyebrow before turning my attention back to the path before he could react. "So, if you weren't an actor, what would be doing?"

"I'd probably be in the military," He answered without having to think about it too much. "A couple of my brothers are and I'm quite disciplined so it seems like a good fit."

"More dangerous though..."

"Well, I do my own stunts so sometimes acting gets dangerous," Henry pointed out. "I did spend a lot of time hanging out of a helicopter for Mission Impossible."

"Yeah, but there's a whole team of people responsible for making sure that you don't die, right?"

"Of course and the stunt teams are amazing," He smirked. "But that doesn't mean there isn't any risk, accidents do happen."

I grimaced slightly, knowing that he was probably right.

"You should switch to baking," I suggested. "Definitely a lot safer."

Henry laughed, shaking his head.

"Alright, well, my next question is: have you ever had any bad baking mishaps?" He asked. "It might not compare to action stunts, but I'd imagine there's the potential for some nasty injuries."

"There is, but luckily I've always been pretty careful. A few minor burns and the odd slice of a knife, but nothing too serious. I have seen some pretty nasty stuff over the years though. Like once..." I paused for a second. "Wait, do you want to hear this? It's pretty bad."

"Yeah, go on," Henry nodded. "I think I can handle it."

"Okay, so, one of the bakeries I worked in for a while made a lot of things like doughnuts and churros so we had a deep fryer." My skin started to crawl just thinking of the memory and from the look on Henry's face he seemed to regret agreeing to hear about it, but I continued. "One day, my co-worker was cleaning the counter next to it, scrubbing really hard on a super sticky spot and her hand slipped and shot right into the boiling hot oil.”

"Oh my god," Henry squeezed his eyes shut, his fist clenching as if he was experiencing the pain himself. "That's horrible. Were you there? Was she okay?"

"I was," I nodded. "It was like it happened in slow motion and she didn't even scream, I guess from the shock, but I was hysterical. I kept expecting her skin to just slide off any minute like you see in the movies, but thank goodness it wasn't quite that bad."

"I think I'm going to have nightmares just hearing that story," Henry cringed. "Has it scared you off ever going near a deep fryer again?"

"I haven't had to use them much since that job actually, but it definitely made me very cautious," I admitted with a wrinkle of my nose. "What about you? Any nasty injuries on set?"

"No, I've been lucky as well. The stunt teams are all very good at their jobs so other than a few near misses with a sword here and there, I've never been in any real danger."

"Do you actually use real swords?"

"For the most part," Henry nodded. "For the Blaviken fight scene in the Witcher we used swords that were cut in half and then CGI edited in afterwards because we did it all in one take and there were a lot of moving parts that made it more dangerous."

"You filmed it all in one take?"

We were on a fairly steep incline and I was feeling the effect. My words struggled to come out as I fought to catch my breath and I was happy to give Henry some more time to talk before I had to answer any more questions.

"We did," He smiled proudly. "For the flow of the scene, it just made the most sense, but it was difficult. The cameramen couldn't see where they were going at all, they just had to use their memory with someone guiding them from behind so everyone had to hit all the marks just right to make sure there were no collisions. And with it all being one take, if anyone made a mistake or the timing was off at all then we had to stop the whole thing and start from the beginning."

"Wow, that's...impressive."

Henry caught my slight gasp for breath and looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you need to rest for a moment?"

I nodded and we both stopped walking as I pulled my inhaler out of my bum bag. I took a quick puff followed by a few slow breaths until I had managed to steady my breathing.

"Sorry about that. My asthma has been playing up the last few days and that hill just took it out of me..."

I felt silly getting winded while he was so unfazed, but he waved me off.

"Don't apologize," He insisted. "We can take a break whenever you need. There's been a lot of hills and I didn't even think about your asthma so I'm sorry for that."

"No need to be sorry. I haven't left the house at all since I brought your cake over last week so it's good for me to exercise," I assured him as I started walking again, much to Kal's delight as he charged off ahead of us again. "Anyway, back to your sword fight. That must have taken so much practice!"

"It definitely did," Henry nodded. "Hours and hours of it. It's like training for a big dance number really, everyone has to hit their marks exactly right, but we pulled it off first try."

I couldn't help, but smile at the pride in his voice.

"That's amazing. It must have felt incredible when you finished and knew you'd nailed it."

"Absolutely," He grinned. "So, if your asthma gets in the way of certain exercises, how do you stay so in shape?"

I felt my cheeks heat up at the subtle compliment, but he was looking ahead and keeping an eye on Kal so luckily he didn't notice.

"I do yoga," I told him. "Not the most exciting, but it is a lot harder than it looks. I thought it would be easy, but the day after my first class I could barely move at all."

"I've heard that a lot about yoga," He chuckled. "Even from big body builder guys at the gym, they try yoga thinking they'll smash the class, but they end up coming out just as sweaty as when they lift weights."

I'd had to defend my love of yoga to many people over the years. As Henry pointed out, my options for keeping fit were quite hampered by my weak lungs so I didn't have loads of choices, but I did end up really enjoying yoga and seeing plenty of physical benefits from the classes. It was annoying to have to constantly insist that it was in fact a workout worth doing so it was refreshing that someone with Henry's gym experience understood right away.

"It's pretty tough," I smiled. "Even though I'm sure you'd find it easy. I imagine with those muscles you could probably lift a car over your head without any struggle."

Henry laughed at that, shaking his head.

"Not quite a car," Henry smirked. "But speaking of strength, are you a good climber?"

I raised an eyebrow at that question as I noticed him looking off to the side of the trail at a small rock wall that was about Henry's height.

"Why? What have you got planned?"

"There's an excellent view if we take a brief detour," He explained. "But you'd have to climb that little cliff."

I looked at it a bit more intently than I had before and it seemed easy enough. It wasn't all that high and the edge was rough enough that it wouldn't be too hard to get a grip on.

"I think I can do it," I shrugged. "But what about Kal?"

"I'll lift him up. He's much lighter than a car."

He shot me a wink and I actually, literally giggled like some kind of flirtatious fangirl. It slipped out before I could stop it and, despite Henry either not noticing my embarrassing behaviour or just politely ignoring it, my cheeks went bright red again.

He led the way over to the wall and whistled for Kal who bounded over happily. The big dog didn't even flinch when Henry scooped him up and plopped him down on the top of the little cliff and he sat down obediently when he was commanded to 'stay'.

"You go up first and I'll spot you," Henry instructed.

I nodded and went up to the wall. It was pretty easy to find a good spot to hold so I grabbed on and hoisted myself up. It wasn't that far to go so I only needed to get my feet a little bit higher before I could push up and get my hands on the ground at the top. I could feel the warmth of Henry's body hovering behind me and perhaps it was the distraction of realizing how close he was or just that my running shoes didn't have the right grip for this kind of activity, but as I got my hands on the top of the cliff, my foot slipped off the wall before I could push myself up properly. I didn't fall very far though as Henry's hand was right there, ready to catch me as it collided with my bum.

Both of us froze for a moment. The warmth of his hand felt like it was burning a hole through the yoga pants I was wearing and my brain instantly felt the need to focus on the fact that his massive hand covered almost the entirety of the cheek it was currently cupping. As the shock of the contact wore off, I quickly found my footing again and dragged myself up so I was sitting on the edge at the top.

"Two metres apart, Mr. Cavill!"

He was standing there with his hand still out where it had been, looking just as surprised as I was, but as I scolded him his shock quickly morphed into a smirk.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to," He assured me as he grabbed onto the wall and pulled himself up with an ease that made my attempt look quite sad. "But I must say, that yoga is definitely working for you."

My jaw dropped at his comment, but after a moment I couldn't help but grin. Even if I didn't have muscles like Henry, I did put a lot of effort into my body and my bum had come a long way from the flat board that it used to be and I was proud of it.

"Thank you," I said as I pulled myself up to my feet. "But please, keep your hands off of my bum...At least while we're out in public."

Now it was Henry's turn to be shocked by my comment and my turn to smirk as I turned and headed off towards the little path we were next to with Henry and Kal hot on my heels.

****

The path we ended up on was another steep hill which Henry profusely apologized for once he realized, but I assured him I was fine. It was a beautiful trail and it wasn't long until we ended up in the clearing that he was steering us towards. As promised, the view was amazing and absolutely worth the trek.

"Wow," I gasped quietly, looking out over the ocean. "This is incredible."

"It's one of my favourite places on this whole island," Henry admitted. "I don't think many people know about it as it's not a main viewpoint, but Charlie and I used to run wild all over this place and we stumbled across it when I was only about twelve."

"What a great find," I complimented him, still in awe. "It's beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me."

"Of course," He smiled. "You're practically a local now so you need to know all the best spots."

I laughed weakly at his description of me as a local even though it was probably true. I’d been here for months and wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

"Well, I can't think of anywhere that would beat this. Can we stay for a while?"

"Sure," He shrugged. "I don't have anywhere to be."

I smiled and went to the edge before sitting down and letting my legs dangle over. It wasn't a straight drop down, there was a big ledge sticking out only a few feet down so it was safe, but gave me a sense of freedom as I looked out at the wide open space in front of me. Henry whistled for Kal and gave him some water from his bottle before joining me, but keeping a respectful distance.

"So," Henry broke our comfortable silence a few minutes into our pit stop. "After all those questions, I realized I've never asked you what your bakery was called."

I felt my stomach drop at that question. He probably thought it was a pretty easy one, but my hands went all tingly and clammy and I was almost positive all the colour had drained from my face. I stayed silent for a moment as I thought it over. I could have lied and told him anything, really. He'd never know. But deep down I knew it wasn't a subject that I could avoid forever so I took a deep breath and answered.

"Lola's."

As I predicted, he gave me a confused look and pressed for answers.

"Lola's? Is that your middle name or something?"

Again, I was tempted to lie and pretended he'd guessed right, but if I wanted to continue our friendship, I had to be honest.

"No, it was the name of my best friend." My voice was quiet, but it didn't crack or waiver so that was an improvement. "She died last year."

I saw Henry turn to look at me out of the corner of my eye, clearly at a loss for words, but I kept my gaze off on the horizon.

"I'm very sorry to hear that," He said after a moment of quiet. "How did she die? If you don't mind me asking."

I didn't mind, but it was hard to talk about. I'd gone the route of burying my emotions rather than dealing with them when she passed so it was usually a topic I just steered clear of completely.

"She overdosed," I told him, still not looking over at him in an attempt to hide the tears that were brimming in my eyes. "She was always into partying, much more than I was, but she never really did drugs until she started dating this new guy. Suddenly she was talking about all the things she was trying and a few weeks later she was dead. Apparently he was a dealer and he'd tried cutting his supply with something dodgy so he could make more profit."

"That's horrible..." Henry's voice was soft and cautious and it made my eyes fill even more. "I'm so sorry, Brooke."

"Thanks," I choked out. "Sorry, this is super heavy. I don't mean to dump it all on you."

I wiped my eyes and tried to sort myself out a bit, but he shook his head.

"I'm happy to listen," He insisted. "How long were you friends?"

"Since we were three," I smiled. "We met in nursery school and were instant friends. Her name was Laura, but I called her Lola from the day that we met, I thought it suited her better."

"Wow, that's a long time."

"It was," I nodded. "She was like a sister to me. Cassie and I are really close, but Lola and I just clicked instantly. No one understood me like she did and she absolutely always had my back. She was the one who gave me the idea to open my own bakery. She'd been saying it for years so when she died, I knew I had to give it shot. You know, to honour her. It made closing down so much harder because I feel like I've let her down."

"I would be willing to bet a lot of money that that isn't the case at all," Henry smiled reassuringly. "I bet she's watching over you, proud that you gave it a good shot and completely relieved that you did what was best for your health."

I teared up again as he spoke, knowing deep down that he was right. Lola wouldn't be disappointed that I failed for reasons that were out of my control and if she was alive she would have dragged me to Jersey herself if it was the safest place for me to be. I hadn't voiced my guilt to anyone else though so no one had the chance to tell me I was being silly and hearing it made at least a tiny bit of my regret melt away.

"You're probably right," I agreed, wiping my eyes again as a few tears slipped down my cheeks. "Sorry, it's just hard to talk about and it's her birthday in a couple of weeks so it's even more of a sensitive subject."

"No need to be sorry," He assured me again. "It sounds like it's still quite fresh, but whenever you want to talk about it I'm more than happy to listen."

I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth, biting hard to try to fight back the floods of tears I could feel rising. It was very touching how kind he was being when plenty of people would have run for the hills as soon as they realized what a nerve they'd struck with such a simple question. I glanced over at him, trying to find the strength to thank him without a sob bursting free, when he tentatively held out his hand, placing it palm up in the dirt between us. A few more tears escaped at the gesture, but a smile slid onto my face as well as I reached out and placed my hand in his.

We stayed like that for a long time. Hand in hand, but almost two metres apart as we looked out over the ocean with Kal settled in the dirt between us. It was refreshing and calming as was almost every moment that Henry and I had shared. Eventually, we realized that it was getting quite late and we should head back before we ended up walking back in the dark, but the comfort I'd felt in that time with him lingered even as we headed home.

The somewhat somber mood that had fallen on us was soon forgotten and the laughter and fun returned as we continued asking questions and talked about everything from what we do if we could be invisible for a day to how much we both wanted a family and children of our own.

We ended up down by the beach just as the sun was setting and paused by the pier to watch it. It was a pretty breath taking sight and by the time I got home I was feeling giddy from the magical day that I'd had. Henry was shaping up to be pretty much everything I hadn't realized that I'd wanted. I'd been so busy in the last year, grieving the loss of my friend and then trying to start and run a business that dating hadn't even been on my mind, but now, after sharing so many heartwarming moments with someone who made me feel as warm inside as he did, it was something I couldn't help, but think about a lot.

I was in the middle of filling Cassie in on my day's adventures as I rather inelegantly shovelled some food into my mouth when my phone beeped on the table. I saw Henry's name pop up on the screen and my heart melted at what I saw when I opened the message.

Henry: 

Henry: I took this picture earlier and I can't get over how beautiful it is...

Henry: And by 'it' I mean you, the sunset pales in comparison

[bornfrcmchaos]

I very rarely share anything personal on any of my social media accounts. Mostly because I try to distance myself from any sort of conflict therefore I rarely have any opinion to share, but also because for the majority of time I have been online, I have thrived to gain more followers, therefore somewhat compromised with my own beliefs to benefit the majority. It’s also why I find it so hard to write this post now and I have already deleted it and started over a couple of times.

It started with the so called #natebuzzisoverparty going viral at the moment over someone with different opinion because canceled by default by society because his beliefs differ from these of the majority. I saw a couple hateful comments which clearly just show how most of us simply read inbetween the lines. 

This may be the main reason for this post to exist but it’s not the sole one. I think what’s the base of it, is the fact how hateful people have grown over the years and how toxic fandoms had become. I’m noticing a serious increase in celebrities being canceled by society over their actions and don’t get me wrong. I don’t defend anyone and I’m not okay with any bad decisions they might have made but what people seem to forget is, they are people just like us. And people aren’t perfect. People make mistake (not that I do believe Nate had made any mistake in simply sharing HIS OWN PERSONAL BELIEF on a matter). It’s just something you should always keep in mind when about to attack someone. Think how it’ll make you feel waking up to hateful dms, comments, etc. Think how it’ll make your loved ones feel. Also, think about the pressure society had put on these people given that they will be someone else’s role model.

I know just by this statement alone I will get a lot of hate anons but I’m already used to those. I have received one solely because of an edit posted on my resource blog, making me explain how it doesn’t mean I support toxic relationships just because I have posted a cute scene, which happens to involve such couple. Yet for those who choose to view life only from e certain point, it’ll always look this way and I’m fine with it. 

I don’t try to change your opinion, but I do hope you like a moment to read this post and push behind any prejudices you might have while doing so. It’s okay if you still firmly believe in your opinion. Nor I, nor Nate have tried to tell you how you should live your life. But if there is at least one person, who reads this and at least tried to see the other point of view rather than just respond with hate and denial to it by default, then I’d be happy. Because it personally hurts me to see someone with such pure and genuine view of the world be shunned by the society of primarily non-believers.

I’m neither pro-life, nor pro-choice. The reason I choose not to take stand on the matter is because I try to accept that everyone has freedom to choose which side to take. However, what I see is that the majority of pro-choice followers main argument against pro-life followers revolves around rape. Let me give you some food for thought then - which is harder in your opinion - getting rid of a fetus, which is just “a few cells” with no opinion after all, or learning to love this child despite it all? I have read a dozen stories of rape victims, chosing to keep the baby and growing to love it. I don’t say it’s not traumatic. It’s traumatic either way and I think what many pro-choice followers tend to forget that there are times when people later regret the decision they’ve made. Plus, often an abortion can be a traumatic experience on it’s own, which only may add to an already existing trauma. Morever, to anyone who says it’s just “a few cells”, may I remind you that you were also  “a few cells” once, so imagine how it would make you feel, if it was your mother thinking that way and making the decision to abort you. In a time when we fight for human rights and claim that life matters it’s the most hypocritical way to say that anything, which may later turn into an actual human being is  just “a few cells”. It seems to me that you simply put human’s life in the same category as a virus or other one-cell organism you may learn about in biology classes. Think how this makes you feel and maybe then you may understand where the pro-lifers point of view comes. 

That said, I once again remind you I chose to stand in the middle, not taking sides. Simply observing and admiting each party has it’s arguments and I think that’s the attitude each of has to show. I know it may be hard when you’re standing on one side of the matter, but if you just choose to not read inbetween the lines and see only this which supports your arguement against, you may actually see that there are people who don’t try to change your view but simply to make you think. Think how hypocritical it is to claim unborn child’s life matters less than that of a grown-ass human.

And since I have also seen people claiming Nate is homophobic and anti-muslim... I’m sure many would say I’m homophobic too, once they hear my opinion on the matter. But just like my stand on abortion, I neither stand against, nor approve of the constant idea of showing LGBTQ+ movements on any possible platform. Don’t get me wrong, I am very respectful of people, who feel attracted to the same gender or both genders, etc. I’m a fan of Vanessa Morgan as you may see and I like Choni as you may also see in my blog. However, it bugs me how all of a sudden every tv show, movie or book made it a trend to involve at least one character from this community. What bugs me even more it that people within this community approve of it. Like their are simply scared to be differect and want society to accept them, but not accept that it’s normal to be different but rather tranform into a society where this is okay by default. 

As for the anti-muslim part... Religion is always a tough subject to be discussed. In fact, it’s one many choose to avoid at all cost and those who happen to not avoid it usually end up being called out as being anti certain religion. But if you have followed Nate’s instagram account for long enough, you’ll notice on many occasions he’d admitted he had muslim friends he STILL keeps in touch with, meaning he’s not anti-muslim if people choose to keep in touch with him despite his beliefs or shared opinions. Being told part of your religion is false, is hard. I come from a place where people were forced to give up their religion and where Christians and Muslims now live in somewhat of peace but there are still rivalry. So it may be hard for you to get it, if you’re not from such region, or if you’re a Muslim and you’ve been taught there is only one true faith because I have studied islamic law, which is very closely related to religion, so I know how it is. But please do not mistake it when someone tries to point out the difference between both and educate you as being against it. But also, just like it hurts you when once cancels your religion, so does it hurt when you cancel their own.

If you’ve reached the end of this post. Thank you! Thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope it made you go on about your life with a bit more kindness towards others, a bit more love instead of hate and a bit more appreciation that everyone deserves to believe in what’s right and what’s in alignment with their values and beliefs. Stay safe and do all with love and kindness!

[aion-rsa]

Mass Effect Romances: Legendary Edition’s Best and Worst Partners

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The Mass Effect trilogy is a lot of things to a lot of people, but we completely understand if you see the release of Mass Effect Legendary Edition as an excuse to cruise across the galaxy looking for romance or, at the very least, the chance to hook up with an alien.

Mass Effect wasn’t the first RPG with a romance system, and the first Mass Effect‘s romance options could most generously be described as limited, but the ways that the Mass Effect games compellingly use romance as both a character-building device and a fun diversion has long made them a favorite among those who can’t help but look for love in digital places.

Which Mass Effect romance is the best of them all, though? While we could never deny you your memories of the time you spent with your personal favorite partner, this is our ranking of every romance (no matter how brief) in the first three Mass Effect games.

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18. Diana Allers

Players will have the chance to romance journalist Diana Allers while she’s working on a story about the Normandy in Mass Effect 3. It seems like it’s supposed to be a Captain Kirk kind of moment, but the whole affair feels…off.

Actually, Diana even expresses concerns that her brief encounter with Shepard could potentially ruin her career. Between the short flirting phase and the potential lingering ethical concerns, this romance just falls flat. 

17. Sha’ira

Asari consort Sha’ira is really the only “hidden” romance opportunity in the first game, but aside from that factoid, she’s certainly not the most exciting partner in the Mass Effect trilogy.

It also always felt a bit strange that Sha’ira only sleeps with Shepard if the player says they’re dissatisfied with her gift of words. It almost makes this encounter come across as a kind of a Renegade option, which would have felt better if there was an equivalent Paragon side relationship available. This whole thing just seems like an afterthought.

16. Samara

The “romance” with Samara is hardly a romance at all (at least by Mass Effect standards). If you push past Samara’s code and keep flirting with her, you can eventually get Shepard and Samara to kiss. However, the relationship doesn’t go much further than that. 

It’s interesting that this romance is a bit different than the others so far as that goes, but between the lack of a payoff and the fact you’re kind of forced to push past Samara’s respectful initial “no,” it’s hard to rank this romance above most. 

15. Javik

There are different types of romances throughout the Mass Effect series, but few are clearly intended to be “romances” that the player’s character is meant to regret. 

Yet, that’s pretty much what happens the morning after Shepard sleeps with Javik. While the joke of these two getting together fits into the humorous style of the Citadel DLC the hookup happens in, this is a one-note romance that’s little more than a quick gag. 

14. Kaidan Alenko

Granted, Kaidan becomes a slightly more interesting character in Mass Effect 3 when players are given the chance to rekindle their romance with him before a big battle, but it’s hard to get over just how generic Kaidan was in the original Mass Effect.

Even in a game that offered very few romance options, Kaidan felt like a piece of toast with no butter. It’s not really what you want to see in the morning, but you’ll live with it if it’s your only option. 

13. Morinth

A lot of fans hate the Morinth romance option for the simple fact that it’s the only one in the franchise that leads to the direct death of Commander Shepard. To be fair, that’s certainly not the best outcome. 

Yet, the shock of that conclusion makes this one of the better “one-off” romance options in the Mass Effect franchise. It’s hardly a legendary relationship, but the surprising “payoff” is at least memorable. 

12. Jacob Taylor

One of the great things about the Jacob Taylor relationship from a storytelling and design perspective is that it’s one of those relationships that initially doesn’t seem possible. It’s only after you really start to form a genuine relationship with Taylor that the path to this romance becomes more obvious. 

Still, the hilariously awkward nature of Jacob’s main pick-up line (“But the prize…”) takes this one down a few notches on the overall romance rankings. There’s also the simple fact that a lot of people just don’t like Jacob as a character. 

11. Steve Cortez

As the first male romantic partner exclusive to male Shepard characters, Steve Cortez helped to break a barrier that some fans wondered if BioWare would ever be willing to break. The absence of that option cast a shadow over the first two Mass Effect games, and it’s great that Mass Effect 3 finally addressed it. 

Still, this isn’t the most exciting romance, and Steve is hardly the most developed character that you have the opportunity to be with. Maybe he would rank higher if he were introduced earlier, but such as it is, he’s one of the lower-tier romance options overall. 

10. James Vega

Mass Effect 3’s Citadel DLC is sometimes called an elaborate piece of fan service, but there are times when that approach at least led to memorable moments that finally gave some fans the payoffs they had been looking for. 

That’s especially true of the DLC’s options romance with James Vega: one of those fan favorites who were previously platonic. It’s hardly the most impactful romance, but so far as one-night stands go, it’s much better than Javik. James even makes you eggs in the morning.

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9. Kelly Chambers

It’s tempting to rank this one higher for the simple reason that many players developed a crush on Kelly and didn’t think they’d have the chance to romance her, but the fact that you can only unlock this romance after making some notable sacrifices (and that it doesn’t last long) means it’s a little tough to put it above some of the other options. 

Still, Kelly’s popularity, the unique circumstances of your courtship with her, and her now-famous dance certainly elevate this fling above most of the other quickies in the game. 

8. Samantha Traynor

Samantha finds herself somewhere in the middle of the romance pack simply because that’s kind of the best way to summarize your romance with her. 

The Traynor romance storyline is pretty engaging, has some great moments, and is surprisingly substantial for being limited to the third game. Yet, there are times when this relationship is almost too normal compared to the more dynamic romances in these games. It just lacks some of that spice you get with other characters. 

7. Ashley Williams

If Ashley only appeared in the original Mass Effect, she would be much lower on this list. Her sometimes awkward (if admittedly funny) dialog and the first game’s generally weaker romance storylines meant that her best quality as a partner was “not Kaidan.”

However, Mass Effect 3 pays off this relationship in some surprising ways. The game does a pretty good job of building off Ashley and Shepard’s previous encounter with a storyline that also manages to stand on its own compared to other romances. It’s just a strong multi-game romance overall. 

6. Tali’Zorah

It’s very hard to rank the Tali romance without acknowledging that some fans are still disappointed it doesn’t lead to the logical payoff: getting to see her face. We do see a blurry picture of what appears to be Tali later in the game, but some players wanted a more direct reveal. 

Even if you were disappointed by that element of the love story, though, it’s hard to deny that Tali and Shepard have one of the most exciting, original, and well-developed romances in the Mass Effect trilogy. Tali’s unique physical restrictions and the chemistry she has with Shepard make the better parts of this romance some of the most memorable in any RPG. 

5. Garrus Vakarian

There’s a degree to which the appeal of a relationship with Garrus is based on the appeal of Garrus as a character. In other words, it’s easy to enjoy hooking up with Garrus simply because Garrus is an easy companion to like.

That said, the Garrus romance storyline is also pretty strong in its own right. It really picks up in Mass Effect 3 when the shock of starting a relationship with Garrus has passed and you really get to appreciate how Garrus is one of those romantic partners that are still their own character and not just your love interest when you’re around them. 

4. Thane Krios

Not every Mass Effect relationship is a happy one, but few are as outright tragic as the romance with Thane. After all, you start your relationship with Thane well aware of the fact that his disease is slowly killing him. 

While that whole thing could have come across like a Lifetime movie of the week, it’s ultimately an incredibly effective story that serves as one of the best examples of how pursuing a romantic relationship with a Mass Effect character really allows you to see them in a different light. 

3. Miranda Lawson

Look, there are just times when the romances we tend to look back on with the most glee were also slightly volatile. When you’re far away enough from the bad times, it’s much easier to look back on the more exciting moments. 

That’s kind of the dynamic that you get with Miranda. It’s not the deepest romance in the game (and the conclusion of this story in Mass Effect 3 isn’t the best), but the many players who found themselves instantly attracted to Miranda for…umm…reasons will certainly remember the first time they figured out how to make this bad romance happen. 

2. Liara T’Soni

Liara’s status as by far the best long-term romance option in the original Mass Effect game is already reason enough to rank her high on this list, but her lofty placement is really all about how your relationship with Liara evolves across the trilogy.

As a potential romance that spans the entirety of the Mass Effect trilogy (even if her best moments in ME2 are limited to the Shadow Broker DLC), Shepard’s relationship with Liara is one of the most complete and genuine in the original games. Their romance is a simply beautiful story that doubles as one of the better examples of the kind of choice-based long-term storytelling that Mass Effect was built on.

1. Jack

You’ll have a hard time getting Mass Effect fans to agree on the game’s best romance option, but the fact that most of them will probably agree that Jack is, at least, one of the most interesting romance options in the game is a testament to the overall quality of this storyline. 

The great thing about Jack is that you can either choose to engage in a casual relationship with her or, if you know what to do, establish a more lasting partnership that sheds some light on one of the game’s most fascinating companions. The striking differences between those two options perfectly compliments who Jack is as a character and stands as one of the best uses of romance as a character-building tool within a role-playing game. 

The post Mass Effect Romances: Legendary Edition’s Best and Worst Partners appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[thesunnyshow]

Name: Kim Age: 26 (27 in September) Writing Blog URL(s): @jinterlude​   

Nationality: Filipino-American Languages: English  Star Sign: Virgo MBTI: ISFJ-T Favorite color: Any shade of blue  Favorite food: Ah, I have so many, but I really do love ramen & this Filipino noodle dish my grandma makes. Favorite movie: West Side Story. A close second is Pride & Prejudice (2005) Favorite ice cream flavor: Rocky Road  Favorite animal: Pandas Go-to karaoke song: Upside Down by A*Teens (I think I just dated myself) 

What fandom(s) do you write for? Mainly BTS, but I have written for SVT, EXO, GOT7, Monsta X, B.A.P, & NCT

When did you post your first piece? Oh dang, when? Hmm… I want to say Oct. 2016 (?) on my first blog (I had deleted and came back to Tumblr).

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I mostly write a combo because it just happens that way! My main genres are: fluff, romance, & humor/crack. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? I mainly write OCs stories because that’s what makes me the happiest when it comes to writing, but I still write x reader fics for drabbles and oneshots. 

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Funny story. The reason why I started writing for Tumblr is because an old group of friends said that I should write a funny story based on a college class of mine, so I did and here we are. 

What inspires you to write? Usually, it’s my imagination, but other times it’s either the song I’m listening to or even the show I’m currently watching. Right now, my inspiration draws from anime. 

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? Genre wise, I love writing fluff & romance. AUs wise, I’m a sucker for Royal/Royalty. Mafia/Gang & Soulmate AUs would be a close second. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? Oh, wow. I honestly never thought about that before. I think for me, the one thing I hope my readers get from my stories is at the end of the day, please do something that will make you happy. Your own happiness should always be a top priority for you. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? I take a break! Instead of forcing myself out of the creativity slump, I just take a break and let my mind recharge. Then, I go back to my outline and look over while listening to music that I know will spark some creativity juices. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? My favorite works (yes, I couldn’t pick just one) are my Royal!AU Seokjin series (Fight for Me & Our Second Chance). I love the amount of time and effort I put into those two stories, and I’m simply in awe at the world and characters I created. My second favorite is my latest Seokjin oneshot, Protecting Each Other. It’s my first story that exceeded 10,000 words, and I’m just proud of how that turned out. Successful wise, I would say it’s, This Little String. It’s a Soulmate!Taehyung oneshot based around the red-string of fate, and every other month, I see someone like and/or reblog it, so I say that’s pretty successful!

Who is your favorite person to write about? Seokjin hands down. I mean, not only is he one of my ultimate biases, but for some reason my creative banks dishes out ideas and inspiration for him like it’s nothing. 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? I personally don’t think so. You are still writing original content that derails from the source material (or adds to it), all you have to do is just replace your idols’ name with an original character name, and there you go. What do you think makes a good story? For me, I’d say that if you’re honestly proud of the end product, then that story is good, and your readers will see that. What is your writing process like? First I get an idea, or I like to call it, “it appeared to me in a vision,” then I outline it (if the idea lingers in my brain), and then I start writing and editing. Sometimes I’d sprint with my fellow writers on a server I’m in, and other times, I’d put on music and just let my brain go wild. Most of the time, I’m sprinting with friends. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? If I had the time, probably. I can see my Royal!AU series becoming an original story with different characters and an expanded plotline. What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? I am a sucker for F2L I (friends to lovers)! I just love the idea of dating someone who’s your best friend, so why not date your best friend, if the feelings are mutual of course! As for tropes, I dislike, I can’t say that I have any. I think it’s because (and I feel so bad for this), I don’t really read much stories other than what my mutual friends have written. 

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? It means the world to me because I do like knowing if I’m doing something right or if I need to go back and edit something for clarity. Mainly, I get likes and reblogs (with no feedback), and while it’s still nice of someone for taking the time to like and reblog something, I would like some feedback, please. I’m still grateful no matter what, though!

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? I think it’s the support of my amazing group of friends/mutuals! It’s thanks to their support that my work is reaching a wider audience, and it just means the world to me that they read my blood, sweat, and tears. I love them so much, especially my close friend, Jey (softjeon on Tumblr)!

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? For coffee, my go-to is a Caramel Macchiato with Soy Milk (from Starbucks), but lately I’ve been using my Keurig, so I just Peppermint Mocha and 3 tsps of Sugar (I can’t stand bitter coffee lol). For tea, I really like Mango green tea from Gongcha (another boba place chain). 

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? My dream job is to be an elementary school teacher, however, I am currently working on becoming a social worker where my population will still focus on children/students. So, it’s a good compromise!

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?  If I could have one superpower, it would be cryokinesis aka ice manipulation!  

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? Oh, that’s a tough one, but if I had to choose one, I would go for the 1960s so I can see the Beatles live!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? No, because it’s thanks to those life lessons that I grow up to be who I currently am. Sometimes you have to go through those harsh experiences to be a better version of yourself!

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken, then I can feed my family for months. 

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? Oh, hands down, I would be the stereotypical geek/nerd. Though, I was called a “preppy” in 9th grade, so that was a first. 

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yup, especially ghosts! 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I can say the alphabet backwards! 

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Oh, hands down, especially when it comes to writing smut. I’ve seen other blogs condemn writers who write smut about real people, but my thing is that these idols are merely face claims for a character that the author is writing about. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change? I think so! Every artist has a voice, especially with what’s going on recently, we need to be able to use our voices to spread light on certain issues. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? I used to think that way, especially when it came to writing x reader inserts since I know that’s what “sells” to the Tumblr audience. Now, I’m perfectly happy with writing x OC stories, and I’m content with my stories getting at least 5 notes. If it breaks 10 notes, then that’s a success!

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? If they did, then I wouldn’t know. Most of the time, I think my writing is okay with people. 

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Yes, my soul friend managed my old blog once upon a time and actually read one of my smuts. I was so embarrassed! But at least he said it was tastefully written, so that’s a bonus? 

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? Always remember that it is okay to take breaks/go on hiatus! 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? My advice to those who want to start writing but are too afraid put themselves out there is to simply go for it. I was that person who was afraid to put their writing out there for the world to see, especially with some already established BTS writers on Tumblr, but I went for it. At first, it might be discouraging but know that your mutuals/friends will always be your number one supporter! Use their support as a motivator to keep writing and finding your groove! Then, eventually, all of your readers will start trickling in and showering you with the love and support you deserve!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? I wouldn’t say regret joining but more like allowing my life to be revolved around it. At one point in my life, it felt like a second job/chore for me, and Tumblr should never be that type of site! 

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? Oh, I have so many! The ones that come to mind are definitely Jey (softjeon), Beanie (jinned), Nina (j-sope), Kenz (parksfilter), Renae (mygsii), Atlas (astraljoon), & Niah (randomkoalablog) to name a few! I love these amazing people so much and cherish their friendship to the moon and back!

Pick a quote to end your interview with: "Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious … and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

As The World Caves In (Akechi Goro x Akira Kurusu)

Pairing - Akechi Goro x Akira Kurusu

Smut/Fluff/Angst - Lots and Lots of angst on this one I haven’t written and angst fic in a while.

Warnings - Canon typical gore/horror, and swearing

Additional Info - I edited the way the story plays out a bit and basically removed the fact that everyone knows that Akechi was going to betray them. It makes it more interesting lol.

    Akira hadn’t known many friends before being forced to move to Shibuya and do parole there. He was always very quite, but was always soaking up his surroundings like a sponge. He had his own personality most definitely, but it’s always been hidden and covered with the personality he pieces together from what he believes people will like. So getting thrust into this unknown situation that hadn't even been his fault was a very big shock to this built up personality. Not to mention being forced to make friends and relationships that would help him. Was it shallow to only make friendships he thought was beneficial to him? Sure you could say that, but in the end he actually started to depend on these people and greatly appreciated these people for helping him grow. 

    But that's enough reminiscing, the Phantom Thieves were currently in the middle of a meeting, deciding if they were ready to send the infamous calling card to Sae Nijima. Akira was used to seeing his other seven teammates and friends, but there was a newcomer who he had gotten quite close to: Goro Akechi. Akechi had been around Akira for quite some time making his first appearance when Ann Ryuji Morgana and Akira all went to the broadcasting station for a school field trip; Akira making himself known to the detective when he answered a question. Ever since then, Akechi would accidentally run into the taller raven haired boy. Each time they would run into each other it would make Akira’s heart flutter. The fans of Akechi were correct; he was incredibly charismatic and not to mention, exceptionally attractive. Whilst hiding behind his indifferent blank facial expression, he would eventually become happy to see the detective; even though he was progressively becoming more of a thorn in the sides of the Phantom Thieves.

    The group, after in depth conversation about whether or not they were ready to send the calling card, decided they should wait and send it on a specific day; per Akechi’s request. Akechi had a plan, even though most of the Phantom Thieves didn't exactly trust him, he was the best shot they had. Eventually most of them dispersed except for Yuskue, Akechi, and obviously Morgana. Akira decided to make them all coffee seeing as how Sojiro didn't really care what he did as long as he didn’t take too much coffee. They made small talk with each other before Yusuke left to go home and Morgana decided to retire to bed early, leaving Akechi and Akira in the shop alone with each other. They continued to small talk, even though Akira wasn't exactly paying attention to what was being said, he was paying attention to how Akechi looked. The way the dimly lit golden light of the café, and the almost shimmering light of the moon bouncing off of Akechi in such a pleasing way made him look so ethereal; almost like an angel sent from heaven.

    “Well, I must be going now if I want to catch the last train back to my home. I appreciate to coffee Kurusu it truly does get better every time I stop by.” Akechi said suddenly after a sudden gap of silence; a pleasant smile gracing his face. 

    “Be careful Goro, and I’ve said it before, Akira is fine.” The raven haired boy retuned the pleasant smile before taking Akechi’s empty coffee cup and going to wash it. He heard Akechi slowly gather his things, then the soft ring of the bell on the door alerting anyone inside that it has been open. After a beat the bell chimed once more and the door closed. Once Akira was done washing his dishes and putting them away, he left to lock the café door before retiring to his room to sleep.

    After that, the days leading up to the delivery of the calling card went by in what felt like seconds. Of course he spent the days hanging out with his teammates, getting closer to them giving him more benefits; though he did genuinely enjoy their company. Sadly to Akira’s misfortune though there were no signs of Akechi anywhere. He was probably getting ready still, as much as he didn't want to admit it he did miss him. His polite looking smile and the way his hair was always so soft looking and well kept. But oh well, they’ll have plenty of time to spend with each other finishing off Sae’s palace.

    And then the day was upon them, the day where Sae Nijima’s hear would be changed forever; that is as long as they were successful. They had Makoto deliver the calling card the day before, so this was it. Their only chance. Everything was going to be fine, they would do what they always did and they would be in and out of there within the day. 

    And that's how it went, there was of course a hiccup or two where they had realized that of course the shadow of Sae was cheating, but with Joker’s quick wit there were able to quickly figure out what she was doing and get past it. It difficult for Makoto to see her sister the way she was, but with everyone giving her a reassuring smiling and her subconsciously knowing that this was for the best, see was able to get through everything and talk to her sister for a moment.

    “The investigation will now be able to proceed. The suspicion against you will be lifted as well. This deal we made... was a great experience for me.” Akechi spoke gracefully after the battle had ended and Yusuke and Ryuji found Sae’s treasure. Akechi and Akira both nodded to each other, in mutual acknowledgment and respect. Akira could feel his bond growing with Akechi, this new found trust in him.

    “Alright we don’t need to stay here any longer..!” Morgana piped up, then looked at Makoto asking if she was alright. She gave a quick assured nod.

    “I am.. Let’s go.” Makoto stood from her kneeling position in front of her sister’s fallen shadow.

    “Huh?! Enemy readings! When did they...?! They’re gathering outside!” Futaba’s scan popped up in front of her as she looked through it, trying to asses what the hell was going on.

    “Look at those numbers...!” Yusuke said disbelief prevalent in his voice.

    “There are more coming?! This’ll be dangerous if we don't do something..!” The panic was visible in everyone, they knew that if they got surrounded they would be done for.

    “A group this large would be discovered immediately, so we would need to split up. Although we would need for someone to act as a decoy... No but that's too dangerous..!” Even Makoto was frantic as she desperately tried to think of a way out of this situation.

    “I’ll do it.” Akira’s voice was calm, but powerful and confident. He knew what he was doing and he needed his teammates to believe in him as well.

    “Joker?! Are you seriously planning on distracting them by yourself?!”

    “Let him do it Queen, he’s quite but once he’s made up his mind he wont take no for an answer.” Ryuji knew Akira well, seeing as how he was his first friend throughout this entire process and Ryuji knew that Akira would be okay. He had to be.

    With that Ryuji handed over the brief case, and with a couple more reluctant parting words from just about everyone, he was on his way. He needed to make sure they were safe. Akira gave a theatrical performance as he distracted the guards, making sure it was flashy and everyone knew of his presence. 

    As he bobbed and weaved through guards, finally moving in the shadows he made it back to the main room. His only way out? Through the giant stained glass window. And just with this he was spotted, what better way that to make his escape with an audience of people who were trying to capture him? He jumped up on the railing and ran towards the widow.

    “See ya.” With a quick flourish, he dived out the window and landed on the ground below. But before he could even realize, hundreds of spotlights were aimed at him, and even more police officers were surrounding him. He tried to get away but as he was climbing the latter he was knocked back down with the butt of someone's gun. 

    “Didn’t expect to find some kid. You have your teammate to thank for all of this. You were sold out.” Sold out? Sold out?! How could he have been... Who would’ve-

    Akechi...

    Eventually, he woke up, back to where everything began, the interrogation room. All the questions Sae threw at him as he refused to sell his teammates out. God he hoped they at least were able to get out. Sae’s time eventually ran out and she had to leave. After her Akechi himself entered the room, and it made Akira’s stomach drop. Why did this affect him so much... Akira watched as Akechi quickly swiped the silenced gun from the police officer and shot him, making Akira flinch.

    “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Akira couldn’t help but lash out finally snapping. He had trusted Akechi so much, and of course that was probably his downfall but he couldn’t help it. Akechi was so perfect and he finally felt truly connected to him but what the fuck was this?!

    “What is wrong with me?! Tough talk coming from someone who is tied up screaming at a guy with a gun! You’re gonna regret being born. I don’t understand how you have always had it some much better than me. I trained myself day in and day out to be fucking perfect; but you who is nothing but attic scum showed up and had immediately gathered so much attention. Being worshiped by others.” Akechi swung at Akira, giving him a strong punch directly into the temple making him see stars. Akira groaned from the hit. Everything was so blurry, he didn’t know if it was because there were tears in his eyes or if it was because he just got knocked in the side of the head; probably both.

     Where did everything go wrong? Akira physically couldn’t comprehend what was going on. Akechi was his friend, wasn’t he? Why was everything so backwards now? Whilst he was in his head he hadn’t realized that he was staring at the ground while Akechi was going on and on about how much he hated him.

     “Are you even fucking listening to me?! Are you so fucking cocky that even now, as you sit before me tied up and helpless, you still think you’re better than me?!” Akechi’s voice was becoming raspier by the second as he screamed at the top of his lungs. His vocal cords straining to keep up with his howling. It sounded like the man was tearing his own vocal cords to shreds and he probably was. Akira didn’t even look up at Akechi though, just kept his eyes trained to the floor which enraged the psychotic man above him even more. He couldn’t even register what was happening before Akechi shot him in the knee.

     “Will that get your worthless attention attic trash?!” Akira’s ears were ringing, the adrenaline in his body only barely covering up the burning pain in his knee. Akira cried out, pleading Akechi to stop yet he was only met with maniacal laughter. Laughter that was ripping out of a man’s chest, tearing at his lungs and vocal cords in the process. Akechi screeched as he waved the gun around frantically, and once Akira shakily lifted his head took look at the man he once trusted with his life, Akechi thrusted the gun right between his eyes and pressed hard; throwing Akira’s head back.

     “Beg. Beg me not to blow your fucking brains out like the worthless piece of trash you are.” Akira’s eyes were blown wide open, his breath shaky while his tongue quickly darted out to anxiously wet his lips. He genuinely had to contemplate whether or not it was worth it. What if the other phantom thieves were already on their way to help him? He couldn’t lose his dignity like that. He knew he wasn’t exactly in the position to be choosing whether or not losing his dignity was worth losing his life, but for fucks sake he worked his ass off to get the respect he has now, he will not lose it.

     “Bite me.” Turns out that wasn’t the best answer. Because as soon as “me” left Akira’s mouth, a bullet entered his brain. So much for Joker’s dignity.

[justmenoworries]

Record Of Ragnarok - Review (Warning: Major Spoilers)

Shuumatsu no Walküre or, as it’s known in other countries, Records Of Ragnarok, is an Action Manga by Takumi Fukui, Shinya Umemura and Chika Aji that centers around the end of the world. As of now, it has 33 chapters, contained in 6 volumes.

Summary:

The story in a nutshell is that the gods have become fed up with humanity and decided to just fuck it and kill us to do whatever it is gods do in peace. The valkyrie Brunhilde objects rather strongly to this and invokes the Ragnarok clause to give humanity a chance to survive. The gods and the humans each provide 13 champions to fight for them and whichever side has the most victories after 13 rounds wins. If humanity wins, we keep living and if the gods win, we get unalived.

Pros:

The Premise. The stakes are high enough to get you pumped for each battle and it also leaves a lot of room for moral greyness on both sides. On one hand, we have the gods who strive to eradicate humanity and are almost unanimously presented as privileged jerkasses - but then you get characters like Heracles and Buddha who are technically on the divine side, but are shown to actually not support the plan to kill all humans. On the other hand we have humanity literally fighting to survive - but the manga never shies away from showing that humans are not all innocent cinnamon roles and even poses the question if humanity really deserves to survive sometimes. I mean, how much would you want to root for people who are having Jack the Ripper, a scumbag serial killer, fight as one of their champions? Speaking of which...

The champions. A few of you might have perked up at the mention of Jack the Ripper. As it turns out, whether a champion has been dead for years by the time of the story’s present doesn’t really matter: They get to participate all the same. Leading to a bunch of historical characters getting the chance to prove their badassery in the ring. Even better? This story follows the “all myths are true and all gods exist”-rule. You heard right: Every deity, no matter what religion or what part of the world they originated from, has the potential to become an anime villain! Ever wanted to see Lü Bu going at it with Thor? Well, now you can! Wanna see who’d win in a wrestling match between Raiden Tameemon and Shiva? Just read this manga!

The world-building. Record’s lore and backstories are detailed enough to have their own side-chapters and some of the characters’ pasts really make you feel for them. Wanna know how much? This manga, for a split-second at least, made me feel sorry for an unrepentant serial killer. The writing is just that good.

The art-style. It’s incredibly expressive and detailed, especially in the fight- scenes. The covers are beautiful, the character design is creative and gives every character their own, distinct style. And I know this may sound perv-y, but Aji Chika really knows how to draw naked bodies. Just... don’t pay too much attention to the anatomy.

The battles. As of the time I’m writing this, 4 out of 13 fights have been concluded and the fifth one is currently playing out. Each of the fights demonstrate so much personality and the match-ups are insanely cool. It’s never a closed case which combatant is going to win, each fight has so many twists and turns and the fighters themselves have a lot of chemistry with each other. Their motivations are, for the most part, understandable and fit the characters. If you can, check out the youtube - series by AmiasD Backup, you won’t regret it. The editing and the added background music really bring out the inherent epicness of the manga.

Cons:

The battles tend to suffer from, what i like to call, Anime Battle Syndrome. The action will screech to a halt at several points in order to let the characters monologue about their strategy, boast of their former accomplishments or just kinda... talk to each other for no good reason at all. Or have the background characters talk about something that just happened at length until you just want to shout “I know! I saw, I was there!”And the flashbacks detailing the combatants’ backstories are often just tedious. I know I praised them in my Pro-list, but no matter how cool a backstory is, if it comes smack in the middle of a hyped-up confrontation, it’s annoying! I don’t wanna see five pages of a character reminiscing how they once ate a bug when they were six, I wanna see two guys beat the shit out of each other to decide the fate of all of humankind! Just tell me the story after the battle, jfc.

The comedic aspects of the story are not handled well. I mean, I get it: In a story about the literal end of the world not having at least a few lighter moments would probably lead to the readers putting down the manga eventually because it just got too depressing. But the way Records handles it can cause some pretty big whiplash. One moment you’re on the edge of your seat, biting your fingernails in anticipation of how a certain move in the current battle has played out - only to be confronted with a joke about how Ares is dumb, or one of the background characters making an inappropriate comment. Add to that the uncomfortably high number of sexist and sometimes rape-y jokes and you got a pretty yikes collection of failed attempts to implant humor. Speaking of which...

The manga has a really weird and uncomfortable relationship with women. They’re either oversexualised to the point of being nothing more than a walking, bouncing pair of breasts and hips, or side-lined in order to give all the spotlight to the male characters. For example: The valkyries. The valkyries in norse mythology are a people of badass warrior maidens. In the manga, it’s the valkyrie Brunhilde who kickstarts the tournament for humanities’ right to keep existing. She’s also the one who selects the human champions and prepares them for their upcoming battles by introducing them to their valkyrie-partners, their “Volund”, and she acts as an overseer for each round. She’s about the most involved female character you’ll get in this story. Her sisters, the other valkyries, are literally objectified to serve as weapons to the male champions. One of them is brutally forced to submit to her partner, in a scene that is eerily  reminiscent of assault. You’d think an amazon brigade as famous as the valkyries would be treated better than that, in a manga centered around fighting. Nope. They just get to be inanimate objects for the guys to wield. Oh, and if a champion dies, so does his Volund. So not only do the valkyries not get to fight themselves, they pay the price if their partner screws up. Lovely. Another glaring point I want to bring up: There are no female champions. On either side. We get shown a list of the human champions early on and all of them are male. All the divine combatants so far have been male, too. And there’s no indication that that’ll change in the future. Which is weird, because there is certainly no shortage of badass female characters that could have been used in the plot, both historical and mythological. But nope! Pure sausage fest is what we get instead. What’s that? You wanted to see Jeanne d’Arc or Ishtar or Sekmet or Lyudmila Pavlichenko or Anne Bonnie, or literally any of the dozen of amazing female fighters history and mythology have produced? Tough luck! Saving humanity is apparently a men-only sport.

Overall, Record Of Ragnarok is a story with an interesting premise and a plot rife with potential, but it just has too many flaws for me to declare it perfect or even good, to be honest.

For what it is, it’s an okay read. If you’re willing to muscle through the blatant misogyny prevalent in some parts of it. And the rather painful attempts at humor.

4.9/10. Could’ve been done better.

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

Your favourite Pandora Hearts character and why? Mine is Jack, because he’s interesting.

(AHHHHH I took forever to respond to you, I’m so so very sorry!! ...Actually it was partially because I really loved your question or took me so long to answer…Also I uh, wanted to take the time to edit my message and explain this concisely…and I failed) 

Thank you so very much for you question anon!! I don’t get a lot of asks so it made me overjoyed to get one.

My favorite ph character is Break!! Actually he’s become my all-time-favorite character!! 

As for why, well…I don’t think you were looking for a long response, but I’m a very longwinded person so I couldn’t help it…sorry in advance for all the detail XD

There are far too many reasons I could go into for why I like him, but I think probably the main one is that he is a very specific type of redemptive villain that is difficult to find in most stories. 

If you’ve read my blog description you know I like villainous characters with redemptive qualities. I find them much more relatable and interesting than main characters who find being selfless and good easy. Plus I’m here for the angst. I especially like when I myself find these characters creepy or unlikable at first and learn to love them later—(which, because I’m prone to look for the good in villains, is tough to do)—because it means my enjoyment and love for the character in the end feels more real (ie it wasn’t just because I found them attractive, or read into something what wasn’t really there). 

One of the many reasons I love Pandora Hearts is that it is littered with these types of characters. These types of characters are difficult to write, so most authors only have one or two in their stories, and often even those who do try to write these characters are unable to do so well. But Mochizuki has written more than I’ve ever seen one author write. Not only that, they are all unique and not just carbon copies of each other, and they are all well written, interesting, unique, and relatable. (I mean, even the main characters in her stories struggle with good and evil, and it makes them interesting and likable too). 

Break is a specific brand of this character category that I’ve never seen before or since. He’s almost like the reverse: a redeemed person with villainous qualities. He’s...the next step.

See Kevin is your usual character in this category: he’s killed a bunch of people (villain) but he did it to save his family (redemptive quality). He was very easy for me to like.

But Break is different. I haaated Break when I first started watching the anime (before I read the manga). He was creepy, he was manipulative, he was condescending, and he didn’t seem to care about anyone but himself. Learning about Kevin began to change my heart, but it was what he says in the carriage ride home from the opera house that made me fall in love with him. How all the jokes, the teasing, the condescension was stripped away in that moment, and he was completely honest and vulnerable with them, revealing his true character. 

He basically explained then...what’s the next step? What happens if and when a redemptive villain like Kevin gets what they want? Will it be the redemption they hope for? 

Seeing a villain get what they want, what they think will redeem them...but finding that it isn’t what they want at all, nor a redemption for them…seeing how that completely dismantles everything they knew…everything they are, seeing them change, seeing them learn to live with the villainous things they did, to try to make up for those things, and find redemption in other ways, thereafter...that’s powerful. And that’s real. 

The ways in which Break is villainous are realistic. I haven’t met any murderers (to my knowledge...), nor have I killed anyone, but I have met people who are condescending and manipulative, and I have been condescending and manipulative myself. Kevin is easier to like because his brand of villainy is removed from what feels real to me. And Break is easier to hate when you don’t know him because his villainy is the kind we all face on a daily basis. 

But that also means that his redemptive qualities are the ones we face on a daily basis too. I haven’t killed anyone to save my family, nor have I met anyone that’s done so, but I have done things I regret, and that I want some sort of penance for. I have thought certain things would “save” me, in a way, and found it wasn’t what I thought it would be for me at all. I have had suicidal thoughts (“so...you want to die?”) and I have tried to do things myself without asking for help when I really should have relied on my friends…and the list goes on. 

Everyone is both a hero and a villain inside, but our villainy and heroism is much subtler. It’s hard to get this right within a story. It’s easy to just paint a fictional world in black and white, and have good win, and not really work at the characters and story until you can see why the villains think they’re right, and how the heroes can be wrong. But I am so happy Mochizuki painted her world in grey; that no one is fully a villain or fully a hero, there’re all very human.

As a fantasy lover and writer I’m always trying to thread the line of how far fantasy should go, and where reality should seep in. There are fantasy stories in which you lose touch with reality so much it feels almost soulless. But I still want to travel to fantastical worlds and fight demons and dragons with heroes. To me Mochizuki hits the nail on the head. She definitely takes me to worlds that are delightfully fantastical, and builds her world so well, with its own quirks, and rules, demons and gods, but her characters, and the messages they provide us with are so real.

Break is a prime example of this. He can be the worst of villains and the best of heroes. And the messages that surround him (”You’re much much stronger than you think you are” ”no, you simply want to save yourself” “we can never know what would have happened” etc.) are so real I often think about in everyday life.

Despite being young I am often more drawn to adult characters than kids/teens. Which means I am often very fond of mentor characters. But one of the ways in which these characters fall short is that most of the time their character arc is kind of over; they don’t really grow, learn, or need advice throughout the story. They simply give it. They probably did some bad things in their past but they’ve learned from it and they’re done now. And that’s great!! But is isn’t as interesting or relatable as someone who is still struggling themselves. 

Break is a very rare type of mentor character. So much so that I don’t think a lot of people would even call him a mentor character. But he does mentor Oz. And he does give advice. But unlike most of these types of characters he isn’t just done, just a good person now. He’s a hero in his own way, but he’s still very much messed up, and he needs to take others advice as much as he can give it—just like us in real life. In fact, one of the most wonderful pieces of advice he gets is from the very person he mentors, which is absolutely amazing, and rare within this type of relationship. 

Like I said, there’s a lot more I could say, expanding on these ideas, I could go on about other things like how fun and funny he is…but I’ve said too much as it is XD In the end he’s just this very unique type of character you don’t get to see very often. 

And, I won’t go as in-depth on this, but since you mentioned him, my second favorite character is Jack!! I also find him very interesting. 

He’s another unique villain-with-redemptive qualities. There aren’t many characters who almost every word out of their mouth for half the series is a lie, or twisted truth, who aren’t completely hateable. 

The moment you learn he lied you also get to learn his backstory, and why he lied, and why he thought what he was doing was right, how broken he is too. 

I just love that twist. I’m usually good at predicting things, and earlier in the series I even thought “wouldn’t it be crazy if Jack was the villain?” and then I was like “Nahh he’s too sweet.” But then he was!! It was so unexpected and cool that he was the antagonist after all.

Again, that goes back into what I was saying earlier. In a lot of series the way Jack and Glen are painted in the first half would be all there was to it; there’s a wonderful hero and a terrible villain, nothing more. Or, if there was the twist, it would then be the opposite, that who you thought was the terrible villain is the wonderful hero and vice versa, and again, that’s all. But then when the truth comes out you find that they are neither, that they are both people. And they’ve done heroic things and they’ve done villainous things, and they will continue to do both as the series goes on, but that does make either of them completely good or completely bad. 

In a weird way I think Jack is the best of all these different worlds. At the beginning of the series I was like “he’s like a sweet little puppy I love him so much” and at the middle I was like “ahh he’s so evil I love him so much” and by the end I was like “aww he’s so broken I love him so much” XD He has all those qualities within him, that sweetness is still a part of himself and his personality, he did do some genuinely villainous things, and he is very broken. 

Again, I’ll stop there for now XD

Thanks again!! And again, feel free to direct message me!! 

Can I also turn this into a tag game? @song-of-amethyst, @maddyisenough, @sanhatipal, @nozominohana, @emily-cheshire, @the-twisted-otaku, @tabinotochuu...and @ anyone else who sees this post and would like to engage, Who are your favorite ph characters and can I get your longwinded explanations for why you love them?

[reveriesramblings-blog]

Path Of The Arrow

                               A Lavellan And Harding Love Story

    A fanfiction depicting a personal headcanon of my Lavellan playthrough in the Dragon Age:Inqusition franchise. The Inquisitor struggles to integrate into a new life, but finds a familiar comfort in new friends and a possible new love. As he becomes the new shining face of Thedas, he learns that there is more to life than running away...

  This will be a series I’ll be updating every Saturday or so. Of course, I do not own the rights to the Dragon Age or the characters! This is purely for entertainment purposes. Some quotes/ dialogue were taken from the game.

                                                  Credits

A quick thanks to Dragon Age Wiki for a guide on elven cipher! FenxShiral for  reference.                                                WARNINGS    Please note that this series is 18+ for adult language and themes! Further warnings include PTSD, depression, violence, blood, possible gore, some sexual content, death, etc. Please message me privately if you have any other concerns.

Just a final note: I’m new to tumblr, so please have mercy while I learn the proper tag/edit system! I edit to the best of my ability and I’m here to share my imagination as well as improve my creative writing abilities.

                                                   Enjoy!

Elven translations: 

Lethallen (pl) - one who is familiar; usually a friendly title given from one elf to another. Similar to kin.

Shemlen/shems - quicklings; unfavorable name for humans

Mala suledin nadas - You shall endure

Falon'Din enasal enaste - An elven prayer for the dead

Vhenan -Heart; term of endearment

Ma vhenan - my heart; my love

Ir abelas - I'm sorry

Ma melava halani - you helped me

Ir tel'him - I'm me again

Ma serannas - thank you

                                                                                Chapter 1: Severed Roots

    A herd of Halla; pounding hooves against the lush earth of the Planasene Forest floor, in which he was never allowed to be in. The echo of these sacred beasts swirled around Larkin’s head as a memory, tucking the past back into a far corner in his mind. Once he was a respected hunter among his clan, providing food to ensure the survival of his Lethallen; his kin. Now, he was about to embark on a new path with a new name: The Herald of Andraste, they called him. The one who fell out of The Fade and was sent by Andraste herself to close The Breach that wounded the sky. 

“What a large burden to carry, and it’s only gonna get heavier.” Varric pitied him in private when they had a moment to breathe. Privacy was a luxury now that everyone and everything demanded his attention: “Your Worship, please look over these marching orders?” this, “Herald, I need your response to the Chantry by the end of the daylight,” that. He knew nothing of politics and pleasantries and suddenly he was the face of a controversial organization as well as an entire religion that he did not want. Few perks there were so far, but one of them included the few moments he could spend in playful banter with the Dwarf  gave him some sense of relief. A new world and a new life among the shemlens -- not one he would have chosen for himself. The elf was perfectly content running from them in The Free Marches as it were; nothing could have prepared him for so many concentrated in one area. They smelled weird, the food was strange, but there was no denying the honest hospitality. Larkin couldn’t help but wonder though: would it be different if he weren’t their so - called martyr? Would he be exploited and shunned as all other Dalish were in human company?

“Mala suledin nadas…” he uttered under his breath as his eyes searched the aching mark on his hand, possibly for more answers. He lifted the glowing scar to the sky, replicating the moment he first closed a rift as if it would give him some profound knowledge on how to close The Breach; but alas, there were no voices in his mind. 

Another chimed into his ears instead, “Master Lavellan” a familiar voice requested his attention. What else was new? The Herald had half a mind to turn toward the speaker in annoyance, but took a moment to collect himself. Of course it was Cassandra who came and interrupted his much needed quiet time. “Ahem,” she cleared her throat but made no hesitation in addressing the task at hand; he hadn’t known her for long but he could tell that this was going to become a regular occurrence -- he should’ve just accepted it then and there. “My apologies on the sudden...intrusion…” She wasn’t really sorry, “Your presence is needed in the council, my Lord. Leliana and Cullen have a few suggestions on how to get things moving. We need to head into the Hinterlands as soon as possible to seek out Mother Giselle and ask for her aid. I have come to escort you.” 

With a deep sigh, the Herald stood up from the stone fencing and turned to her with a reluctant nod “I suppose I can’t just sit this one out?” 

Cassandra gave him a judgmental squint but held her tongue from expressing her true thoughts on his sarcasm. “Need I remind you of what’s at stake here?” She paused and her mood seemed to shift, "I understand that you didn’t ask for any of this, but now that you’re here...you’re our only option for the time being. I can’t promise that it will be easy, but I can promise that you won’t be alone in this…” her voice trailed at the end into a softer note as if she was trying her best to express compassion or something of the sort. “I understand, Cassandra, and I appreciate your willingness to uphold your duty.” Silence fell between them. It wasn’t meant to sound curt, nevertheless, the words cut and he could see that it slightly bothered her. He pursed his lips together in regret “I didn’t mean for that to--” “Let’s just...get this over with.” The Seeker turned to leave and head toward the Chantry but stopped for a moment to turn and look at him with a small smirk, waiting for him to follow.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The briefing appeared to be simple enough: ask for The Revered Mother’s assistance and look for opportunities to establish the Inquisition’s presence. Unbeknownst to any of them, the Hinterlands was ass-deep in chaos and it would be far from easy. The mages and templars were practically at war, putting all the refugees nearby in danger. People were starving, cold, dying and nature was being destroyed by seemingly random fires. Lowly bandits took advantage of the conditions and began to claim passages, making it harder for Inquisition soldiers to do their job. To top it all off, demons were crawling about from opened rifts; just more reasons to need a savior. Larkin surveyed the crossroads from the hilltop with dread in the pit of his stomach. The air carried a slight chill through his chestnut hair and smelled of pine, which reminded him of home. Bittersweet memories cut short by the sight of humans cutting each other down...like always. How the fuck was all of this happening so fast? He gripped his stomach and swallowed hard, stepping down from a tall rock that overlooked the plains. Varric caught a glimpse of the elf’s anxiety, offering an awkward grimace; he knew he and the Inquisitor were feeling the same sense of fuck this. If it were that easy to walk away, Varric wouldn’t be far behind him. The Herald stepped into camp among all the hustle and bustle of recruits trying to multitask between gathering supplies and an array of other important things. All he could hear was the babbling of side conversations and metal clanking from swords and arms being forged and repaired. Larkin’s attention was pulled left and right again the minute he arrived, until Cassandra rescued him by taking his arm and pulling him aside. Varric and Solas accompanied them as well to take a breather. “There’s something that needs your attention --” she began and was readily cut off by Varric. 

“Give him a minute, Seeker...He just got here.” He threw his hands up in frustration with her too urgent attitude. “Wouldn’t it be wise to let the one person that can actually fix all this shit take a small break? You know -- Just so we don’t break him before it starts getting tough?” Solas butted in with his two cents. “Ideal, not wise, Varric.” 

“Thanks, Chuckles.” The dwarf shook his head “The Herald of Andraste succumbing to a nap every once in a while? Perish the thought…” Larkin attempted to joke. At least Varric was amused. "What? Just trying to ease the tension a little. I’ll be fine…we’ll be fine.”

“Your Worship?” a soft feminine voice called to the group, singling them out from the rest of the camp. A Dwarven female approached them with a friendly and professional air about her. Her soft-looking red hair was tied up and out of her face; pale skin, but her cheeks were no stranger to the sun. Freckles decorated her face, giving her a rather youthful appearance despite the scar running down the left side of her cheek. 

“Scout Harding, at your service.” She paused for a moment to give Larkin a good look-over. He was tall, but that was mostly because she was a dwarf of course. Here he was: Andraste’s chosen in the flesh; he looked even more noble than the stories portrayed him to be. The view wasn’t so bad either. If her eyes could’ve opened any wider they would. 

“Pleased to meet you” he simply said, unsure of how he should address her just yet.

“Wow” she awed, he breath taken from her, “I can’t believe it’s really you. I’ve heard the stories; you should know how grateful everyone is for what you’re doing.” A small, toothy smirk appeared on Larkin’s face “I’m starting to worry about all these stories everyone’s been hearing.” This comment brought a chime of laughter from the scout, causing her to clear her throat once she realized that it might come across as inappropriate. “ Well, they only say you’re the last great hope of Thedas.” She grimaced. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that… “Oh, great.” he pursed his lips.

“Aaaanyway, you already have your briefing, I should let you get to work.” She handed Larkin a scroll tied with twine “A map.” she smiled softly but with an awkward note. “Maker guide you.” 

Harding wandered off to attend to other matters; a recruit already scrambling after her with questions. She left a small smile on Larkin’s face, his eyes refused to separate from her as he held the map limply in his hand. It wasn't until he felt eyes on him that he looked to his companions and then turned to make his way out of the camp. "Right," he cleared his throat "to work then." All four of them marched away from the camp, following the sounds of distant fighting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Falon’Din enasal enaste…” Larkin whispered slightly out of breath over the corpse of an elven mage. He was careful to keep his first language out of earshot as a subconscious reflex. However it didn’t escape Solas’s impeccable hearing; the elven prayer for the dead caused him to eye the Herald curiously and smirk snarkily. Larkin tried to ignore the eyes on him and examined the blood on his gloves and felt slightly dizzy. He must’ve lost his footing at some point because the next thing he knew, he was on the ground, facing the sky above him. He felt hands gripping him tightly; everything was spinning and then what was a clear day turned into inky darkness.  A gentle hand pressed against Larkin’s cheek and his eyes slowly opened to see a blurry but familiar figure above him. The sound of trees swaying in the breeze; birds chirping in the early morning sun. “Vhenan...” the words were clear, but the voice was obscured and almost unrecognizable, but he didn’t need to know. He could feel who the voice belonged to by the nature of his touch. Larkin’s eyes squinted as the sun’s light bore into the spectre and he placed his own hand on top of the one cupping his cheek. “Ma Vhenan” Larkin repeated, his voice barely audible. “Ir abelas..” “Ma melava halani...Ir tel’him...ma serannas…” The voice began to fade. 

Larkin began to squirm in his fur lined bedroll, feverishly chanting elven over and over until his eyes shot open and he woke in a cold sweat. The hand he gripped in his dream was not a past lover, but belonged to a healer instead. She stared down at him, frozen in place as she did not dare to try and pry her hand free, afraid he might lose it even more. Within just a moment more she caught a grip and placed her free hand on his other cheek, smiling gently. “Your Worship, please, rest easy. Everything’s going to be alright. You’re safe in your tent.” her Orlesian accent was thick. The Chantry sister placed a cold rag on the elf’s forehead, hushing him gently. “Sleep. I will inform your companions that you have the day off.” He didn’t pay much attention to when the sister left his tent, he was more focused in undressing as soon as possible --his clothes were drenched in sweat. As promised, no one entered his tent for the remainder of the day, but rest would not come easily to him. He gently rolled over to his side and out of bed, standing on his bare feet in one motion. Larkin opened the flap of the tent door, letting the cool air of the night hit his face as he paused to take a deep breath. Nice and cool. He kept his pants on and wore a loose tunic to spare the camp of an accidental nude elf sighting; they weren’t that friendly yet. The corner of his eye caught the toe of one of his boots, choosing to leave those behind. His feet deserved to be free again, and it was so worth it. The moment the pads of his toes felt the grass, he let out a relieved groan, closing his eyes as he flexed his feet to caress the ground. Before anyone could see him, he took off into the nearby trees, running as fast as he could to pick up the wind and feel it against his lithe frame, only stopping when he was finally out of breath. His short frolicking led him back to the overlook where he first stopped when they arrived in the Hinterlands. Just slightly tired, he sat down and let his feet dangle over the edge of the cliff and looked up at the face of the full moon that lit up the night. 

“Lovely, isn’t it?” Larkin practically whipped his head around feeling slightly defensive, his shoulders tensed, but dropped again when she stepped more into the light. 

“Scout Harding?” Larkin confirmed softly and released a small amount of breath.

“You sound surprised.” She smirked but then looked a little concerned as her voice wavered slightly. “What are you doing out here anyway, aren’t you supposed to be resting? Healer’s orders you know…” Harding took a seat beside him with respectable space in between them. Her concern brought a soft grin to his face “Aren’t you supposed to be resting yourself? Thanks for the concern but I feel fine.” He noticed she was dressed casually, too. “You got me.” she giggled awkwardly and shifted slightly in her seat. “I was hoping you’d be out here, actually. Oh Maker, that came out strange...I mean, I wasn’t stalking you or anything like that. I just...wanted to apologize for earlier.” She brought a finger up to scratch the side of her cheek.

“Oh?” The Herald’s interest was piqued. She held his attention now. “Apologize, Whatever for?” “Oh you know,” she began “You’re only the last great hope of Thedas…” she bit her lip in regret “The last thing I wanted to do was cause you more anxiety about the situation. I know you have a lot on your plate.” “Hm…” he hummed, looking up at the moon and stayed silent on purpose, just to tease her.

"Oh, pants!" She exclaimed in frustration "Please just accept the apology!"

"Pants?" He cocked a brow and couldn't help but laugh. "I've never heard that one before!" When calm, which wasn't for a good long moment, he sighed and ended the exhale with a small chuckle. "I accept. Though, I was never offended either. Just for the record." He smiled softly at her.

Perhaps Harding focused on his lips a little too hard. The dimples that pressed into his cheeks revealed an endearing innocence in him that was rarely found in a leader. Without a moment longer she stood up on her feet.

"I should head back. Wouldn't want to miss my beauty sleep and all."

"You don't need it." Larkin turned to look at her, the corner of his mouth curling softly.

They exchanged tender looks under the stars for what seemed like an eternity.

"Good night, your Worship." Harding left him with a smile and vanished into the trees.

"I'll see you in my dreams." he said to himself now that she was gone. His eyes looked back at the moon, wondering if it felt as lonely as he did at night. 

[wolfpawn]

Two Halves of a Heart Makes a Whole

Chris cheated on you with a problematic celebrity, but you find happiness in Tom’s arms. When Chris realizes his mistake and wants you back, the media finds out that you and Tom just got secretly married.

Saw this idea on theartofimagining13's page and could not get it out of my head, not my usual style as I have no idea about anything to do with Evans so apologies for that.

- - - - - - - 

It had been an accident, well, that was what Chris had told himself, what he probably should have implied was he never meant for it to happen, but long hours and a young sexy actress throwing herself at him changed things; she was beautiful, famous, fun, the heart of the party, and the film was long, tedious, on many days and he missed home, missed the feeling of someone beside him in bed, the feeling of a body writhing under his, and so it happened, just once, then twice, and before long, it as any day that filming was tough, which was most days.

author’s note - Due to requests, I am putting my Lass_Kicker stories here

He had not thought you would come to visit him on set, you said you were busy, you said that the studio had you up the walls, too many scripts to be edited to make them even be considered for shortlisting for movies. What he had not banked on was his little side piece being so vocal about their indiscretions, since she was supposed to be seeing some big shot guy, someone that could drop her and her fun lifestyle living in a flash, but someone had heard from someone, who heard it from said actress that he was a great lay and it had gotten back to you, sort of. They implied you needed to see Chris, but never said why exactly, not feeling it was their place, but not wanting to see you be made a joke of, so excitedly, you went to do just that. When you arrived, he was taken back to see you at his hotel, you were smiling happily, delighted after seeing him after two long months apart filming, he, on the other hand, was cold, and distant. As soon as you were in private, he starting half demanding why you had come, what did you know, to which you could only stare back blankly, no idea of what he was referring to, but then you realised it. Resignation came to your face. You had been apprehensive of the actress he would be playing across from, she had a reputation, but you trusted Chris, he had been the first to give out about people cheating, so he would never do such a thing, you had thought at least. But the way he rubbed the back of his neck, the guilty look on his face, it said everything you needed to know. Biting your lips between your teeth, you nodded in defeat and walked towards the door again. "I'm sorry" that was all he said, as though sorry made it better, made the betrayal, the hurt, the lies, the 'Can't wait to see you' comments when clearly he could all disappear, make it all go away. It didn't, it couldn't.

Their affair hit the papers less than forty-eight hours after you had gone home, well, 'affair' was not the word used, it was made seem like they had found each other on set, fallen in love and cut ties with their other halves before doing anything about their feelings. It all cut you too painfully, and even the sight of his name, much less his face broke your heart even more, a name you had started feeling butterflies every time you saw it as you thought of the guy that had made moving to the States so much easier, the guy you loved snuggling up next to on the sofa with to watch terrible movies and comment about them the whole way through.  But you did not let it show, you would not give it to anyone to let them see how much it hurt. And when the studio needed a volunteer to go to London for a minimum of three months, though you had been hesitant before, you jumped at the chance. Britain was just next to home and the hell away from Hollywood, Chris and everything you came to hate with a passion.

It was there that you came to terms with everything, you woke in the morning of the second week there and it wasn't the first thing you thought of, it was one of the first, but not the first, that was progress as far as you were concerned.

You remained in the office for the most of the time, typing out the sheets of altered scripts for different actors, when you were told there were alterations to be made, you didn't mind, you loved the storyline so seeing it all together was fun, that was where you met him, Tom, polite, cordial and a gentleman. He came in for his altered script, but it still had to be okayed by those in higher positions, and they would be another twenty minutes in a meeting so after offering him a tea or coffee, you continued your own work.

"You like Plath?" he asked, noting the book that was lying open on the desk.

"I do, not exactly the most upbeat poet, but it's interesting to study those with a tortured soul." "Does it put things in some form of perspective?" You looked at him in confusion, "We met before, on the set of The Dark World." You swallowed hard, the day Chris had gone to the set to shoot that one scene in his uniform, you had gone with him, you had met Tom there, but you never thought he would remember. "Yes, of course, I thought you wouldn't…" "I heard what happened, what really happened, I am so sorry." "Why, you weren't the one who…"

"No, but I never thought…" "Believe me, no one thought that as much as I did, but I was wrong." "How are you?" "Fine." "One thing about Irish people and the word fine, it and 'grand' both cover everything from 'I have won the lotto' to 'I have terminal cancer'."

"I suppose, I don't like to think about it, I am doing okay, I am focusing on work." "That helps, for a while, but it is lonely." You looked at him in surprise. "When I was away doing War Horse, my girlfriend…" "Did you ever feel like you could let someone in again?" "Honestly, not yet." "Yet?" "I think I will when the right woman comes along." He shrugged.

"I have, to be honest, I am not feeling too hopeful if you are still in this position years later." "Maybe you will find someone perfect for you faster." "I'll let you know if he has a sister." was all you could reply, causing the actor to give you the most incredible smile you had ever seen and for the first time since Chris' nonverbal admittance that broke your heart, you gave a genuine smile in return.

That was how it started, as fate would have it, there were several rewrites, and because of his meticulous nature and professionalism, Tom himself came in to deal with them, and every time he made small talk and gave you that smile, a smile you soon realised not everyone was given, making you feel better in yourself. To your shock, Chris was not in the top five thoughts of your morning wake up any longer, instead, Tom was, causing you to giggle excitedly for a moment before you scolded yourself and forced yourself to remember, he had been hurt too before, and he was not yet ready to let someone in, you were only setting yourself up to fail again if you weren't careful.

"May I ask you something?" you looked up from the script you were working on, trying to see if it was going to get through even the first layer of sieving to make it to the producer's table to see Tom in front of you, a nervous smile on his face.

"Hi, sure, ask away." "Does it hurt when they broadcast it as he does?"

You regretted giving him permission to ask; you never actively sought information on Chris and his tartlet, but you were often forced to endure it anyway. "Yes and no. Yes because he said he never wanted any of that, so I find myself wondering was he lying to me, no because I don't allow it, it…he is not my concern anymore, my concern is me." again Tom gave you that smile, but with a hint of something else in it, around his eyes there was something you were unsure of.

"May I ask you something else?" "You may."

"Are you free later?" "I am, why?" "Well, I was hoping you could join me for dinner?" there was a nervousness in his tone, one that showed that he was doing something he had not done in so long, if you had to guess, you would wager he was trying to let you in, but you had to rubbish it, why, of all people would you be the one to break through everything and gain the trust of THE Tom Hiddleston.

"I…" "Of course, I should not have assumed, I am sorry if I…" "Sure," He froze, looking at you in shock. "I would love that."

"Really?" His voice was drenched in hope. "Really," you smiled. "When suits?" "What time are you off?" "Today?" "Yes." "No." Tom's face fell. "But you said you were free." "I am, but I can't possibly go to dinner looking like this." you indicated to your clothes. "I look a mess." "I think you look divine." he admitted before a deep red starting climbing his neck and ears.

Since you both did not want any attention on you, he offered to cook at his for you both. You accepted thinking he would order food in, utterly flabbergasted when you turned up with some wine to see him actually cooking. "A man of many talents," you had joked. The evening was incredibly comfortable, the only silences were ones while you both ate, the rest of the time you both spoke at length of your interests.

Chris loved football, you would listen as he roared abuse at any team that dared battle his beloved Patriot's, but that was as far as your knowledge on the topic went. Tom loved Tennis, another game you knew little of, but his passions went to books as well, something of a common ground. You were often called boring, old before your time, but Tom called you mature, not being interested in the weekend's drinking and clubbing was not something to be laughed at in his eyes but admired. He realised you liked classical music and rather than suggest other genres to listen to, he went into a full discussion of wanting to know what instruments you loved, had you been to many concerts, it felt refreshing, you felt validated as a person.

"Everyone calls me boring." You admitted.

"Good, that makes two of us." Was all he grinned in return. "I love sitting in with tea and a good book." "Maybe a pack of biscuits too, but I tend to binge eat when I get invested." "Now that is speaking my language, darling." 'Darling' that one word of his made you swoon when he used it. Chris had used 'babe' a normal enough term, very American, but darling made you feel as though you mattered. It caused you to blush every time without fail, and you suspected Tom knew, after all, he said it more often with an expectant smile on his face when he did, and you simply became more bashful.

It was by far, the most comfortable and happy you had felt since the debacle, and all the time, Tom respected you and your boundaries and hang-ups, slowly working you through them until you felt confidence starting to build in you once more. It was then, after two months of dating, it began to become physical, feeling inconsequential from Chris choosing a statuesque and, as much as you were sickened to admit it, a more beautiful woman than you, you felt as though Tom would be less than satisfied with you too. If he was, it did not show, he was as thorough a lover as he was an actor; ensuring you loved every moment of it, telling you how beautiful you were, how perfect every last imperfection was, he spoke of how much he adored connecting with you in such an intimate way, how amazing you were. His eloquent tongue using words that made you blush with modesty as he spoke them, punctuating them as he gave you pleasure, positively reinforcing each one to the extent that when he told you the dinner you were sharing was exquisite, your body reacted as it had when he had said it to you in bed.

Your three-month contract was due to finish but was then renewed. With those in charge deciding the European market worthy of the investment, and with many of those of the highest talent deciding to not make the move to Hollywood, the company decided to open a permanent office in London, with you already there, you were one of the first offered a permanent transfer. You took it there and then, not for Tom, but for you, something Tom later told you mattered more than anything else, though he was ecstatic you decided as you had. You agreed to move in with him until you found a permanent residence, after three months, you stopped even looking, Tom got a key cut for you. After six months, you went to Battersea Dog Home together and brought back a dog that seemed to have more breeds in it than most veterinary books, but he was perfect, he was yours and Tom's.

The first film promotion was the first test, it was incredibly hard, as that was where things could go incredibly wrong. Tom too worked with gorgeous, supposedly happy in their relationships women, but you had to try. Tom felt similar, his busy life was why his last girlfriend cheated, but together, you spoke through it, argued through some parts, but finally the day came for him to leave and you were both forced to face it. Neither of you wanted to be the one to crack, to act as though you were weak and obsessive, forcing you both to sit on your anxiety of your previously broken trust. The first week was the hardest, but you had Bentley with you to keep you company, Tom had laughed as you face-timed him with the dog beside you as you sat on the floor of your now shared home at the end of the first week. It was tough, but knowing the gut-wrenching feeling of being the victim of such actions before got you both through, and soon, even on Tom's busiest days, even with ten hour long flights, he called, he texted, he even faxed once when there was no cell reception, and it made you realise it could be done.

Then came another obstacle a movie with a love scene. Tom had paid for you to join him on set for that. He wanted and needed you to be there, he needed to show you that you could trust him, and as much as you found yourself struggling to maintain steady breathing, you needed to see the scene. Sure in the movie it would be passionate and almost feral, but on set, with forty people staring, when it was not actually a small room but a huge studio, you could see there was nothing to it, and when the takes were done and the director called cut, Tom looked straight to you, and the lustful gaze he acted in the movie, you realised was not for the actress, but the one he had for you, you being there was how he could show it truly, and after the day was called on set, he showed you who he yearned for, in an explicit and thorough fashion.

Chris' actions had shattered your trust and slowly Tom repaired the breaks in it, it was not perfect, but Tom ensured you knew you were loved; as you did with him. Every day you did everything you could to ensure he saw that his previous experiences were not going to repeat themselves, you were faithful, you would never do that to him, slowly he too saw how to let himself love deeply again.

You were easily accepted by his friends and family, his sisters and mothers loved you from the day he brought you home, they knew from a mere ten minutes in your company you were not looking to gain anything from Tom's fame, you merely loved him for him, as he did you, and that was enough in their minds. When Tom explained that you too had been hurt, that you knew pain, they did not judge, they did not say anything, his mother only embraced you tightly and swore her son would not do such a thing, he was too broken from his own hurt.

As the year anniversary came around, Tom suggested you return home for it, bringing Bentley in the car and have a week in Ireland; you embraced the idea immediately, and for said week, you showed Tom your favourite parts of home, including your family, who made comments regarding Chris and his life for all of two moments before you shot them down, insisting you neither knew what he was doing, or cared for it, all you were concerned with was your future, and Tom. On the final day before having to return home, you decided to go up a hill that you had told Tom was the place you came to when deciding to go and try and make it in a job with so little breakout opportunities, it was the scariest thing you had done in your life, but that view made you see the whole picture, or so you stated. Tom got to the top a few steps behind you, on turning to see where he was, you were shocked to see him barely able to stand, so you rushed over to see what was wrong, it was from there you realised he was on one knee, a ring in his hand, the diamond was quaint and the band made of white gold, showing you that one tiny comment you had made to Sophie Cumberbatch at a gathering after only four months of dating regarding liking only small jewellery resonated with him, he remembered that one little detail and that alone made you want to shout yes in reply to the question he asked.

On a crisp spring afternoon, as the sun fought its way through the clouds, in a small church in Scotland, you became Mrs Thomas Hiddleston in front of a few friends and family, no paps, no cameras. As you sat at the table, the speeches were made but you lacked the courage to say anything, you simply sat listening, with tears of love and happiness in your eyes as Tom told everyone gathered of how he thought you were the most beautiful woman alive since the moment he first saw you, but when he met you again and you were sitting in the office typing at what could only be called lightning speed in his opinion, and you asked him if there was even a chance it would get easier, he knew he loved you. The manner in which he described your similar pasts caused him to come up with an analogy that caused you to smile. He said you were two separate hearts, cracked down the middle by past events, both of you terrified you were beyond repair, unable to figure out where all the broken shards went, but then you came together, and he realised that the half of his heart that still stood somewhat intact fit yours perfectly, allowing you both to love again, together.

* Chris stared at the mirror in front of him. He did not recognise the man looking back. His dishevelled appearance signifying his turmoil. As happened with him, his partying girlfriend found someone else to appease her. Chris watched as everything he had collapsed around him. People began to suspect that he had still been with you when he got with the actress, who was accumulating quite the reputation, one he was not fully aware of before, but regretting being associated with now, especially since…he swallowed and thought of you. It was the biggest mistake of his life letting you go, not that he needed to remind himself, his family told him incessantly. He did not want to go about broadcasting his relationship with his new flame four days after you realised his actions and left, but they were spotted together and her agents went with it before consulting with his. He was relieved that unlike her former lover, you had not called out their actions. Now he sat alone, smelling and feeling woeful in his apartment while you were God knows where. He went in search of you after everything came to a head to apologise, and in some foolish way, in hopes you would want him back, but your work had told him you had gone to London.

He remembered that job, you declined it outright when it was mentioned on the basis of you didn't think it was right to leave for three months, something he argued for you to do, knowing it would further your career, but you had declined even considering it due to not wanting to put any pressure on the relationship, but with him gone, clearly you seized your chance to go. From the sounds of things, you were not coming back. He wept for a day and thrashed his hallway when that realisation came to the fore.

He groaned as he heard banging on the front door, he wanted to ignore it, but he knew Pratt was coming over and he had a key, so he was not going to get any solitude, no matter what happened. When the other man walked in, he just gave him a warning glare. "Not interested." "You look like Hell." "Shut up."

"Are you really that caught up on her, I mean she left your ass for another guy, she is not worth it; only trash does that," Pratt stated as he handed fresh takeout to his friend. "You weren't this cut up after…" "Don't say her name." "Wait, is this about her? It is, isn't it? If you still feel like this, why did you break up with her?" "I didn't." "Wait, are you saying she broke up with you because I am about ninety percent sure she was commenting on diamond rings with Anna one day shopping." Evans gave a gross sob at that. "Hey man, talk to me, what is going on?" "I...she found out." "Found out about what?" "That I.…"

"Wait, you cheated on her," Pratt realised, Evans just nodded shamefully. "With that tart?" again he nodded. "So you cheated on the nicest, sweetest woman alive, the same woman that said she could not wait to give Jack a best buddy, that she wanted to talk to you about maybe having a baby, and you think you have a right to get choked up about it?" Prat looked him up and down in disgust. "What the hell was wrong with you?" "I messed up, I never meant for it to happen, I was lonely…" "Lonely, that's your excuse, you felt a little lonely? How the hell do you think she felt? How do you think she felt when she realised that the man she was hoping to spend her life with went away for a few months to do a film, with an actress the blind could see she was none too pleased about and you did everything she feared would happen, how do you think she felt? Anna and I have barely heard from her and we were wondering why, if I'd have known…" "Wait, you've heard from her, where is she?" Pratt contemplated not telling him for a minute, but there was blatant desperation in his features, so he conceded. "England, she took the job, she…she met someone." Evans made a terrible sound of agony at that. "She's happy, she's…she's not going to come back." "I messed up." Chris wept, his friend looking at him pitifully, but not in anyway disagreeing with him. "Why did I…?"

"It doesn't matter now, she is gone, all you can do is get on with it, she's happy, you need to get to grips with that and get yourself back on track too." "But I love her." "Chris, she is not coming back, she has found someone else, she loves him now. I know that kills you to hear but you have to accept it." "What's his name?" "She never said and we never asked. Don't do this man, scrap what dignity you have left off the floor and get on with things. Go get a shower, we'll go and watch a game or something." "She used to try and understand football, never grasped it, though," Chris stated sadly, a small smile on his face.

"Don't do this man, go grab a shower."

Nodding sadly, Chris walked to his bedroom and looked around, his focus coming to the area in the corner he used grouse you would have far too many books, now all that was there was dirty laundry, grabbing his phone, he went onto the browser and typed in your name. In truth he had no idea what would come up, what he had not expected was the headlines and pictures of you in front of him, his eyes filling with tears once more.

Tom Hiddleston is off the market, the Thor and Avengers actor got married in a secret ceremony in Scotland last month.

The picture was one of you and Tom on your honeymoon, his wedding ring viewable in the picture as he held you hand in his, your rings viewable as you put some stray hair behind your ear. The smile on your face caused his stomach to churn painfully. You looked so happy, so carefree, so at ease that he could not deny it, it killed him somewhat to acknowledge you had indeed moved on. He knew Tom enough to know the Brit would never hurt you, Tom would not do what he had done, he would love you and show it every day. Tears fell as he thought of Pratt's words, you wanted that with him, a family with him, and he cast it all aside for an easy lay, now Tom would be the man that would have that life with you and as he noticed the small Baloo stuffed toy in Tom's hand, he suspected you already were starting one.

[evanstalk]

Seeing him once again was like seeing nirvana, my skin striking with lightning every time my brown eyes would make contact with the blue-green of his. Last time we saw each other had marked a milestone in my life, one that I didn’t really feel proud of or want to remember at all. For a moment, I thought that we had made it through, I thought that we could have something great until that ill-fated night in March that made him discover new horizons. Ever since then, every time I saw a picture of him, I would ask how could he break something that was already broken to start with?

The voice of Olivia broke me out of the daydream I was repeatedly going through, on a loop. For a second I thought that I could change reality with my mind. “Can you help me pass the drinks?” In all honesty, I didn’t want to step foot in this place tonight. The effort of faking a smile and contouring my failures was too draining for me, it wasn’t something I wanted to put my energy towards, but Olivia had it tough once the catering service called it quits. “What company confirms for NYE and then bails out?” I mumbled, as I grabbed the tray, just to earn a roll of her eyes as an answer.

I walked across the floor plan, my eyes fixated in the pair of blue eyes that were accompanying Chris for the night. His date was mesmerizing and he didn’t deserve anything less, but I still ached deep down inside. The what if’s were attacking my mind like bullets, breaking every single wall I had constructed as a defense mechanism. What if that was me beside him, what if I was better, if I didn’t mess up? My mind always got the best of me, an infinite fight against myself that I was doomed to lose over and over again.

I tried to avoid him at all costs and I would have said that I was successful; nobody looks for the darkest soul in the joint, but that wasn’t him. After I placed the tray of drinks on the counter, I walked outside to watch the fireworks; that’s when I heard the familiar voice behind me. “Why aren’t you at the party?” He asked me, probably unintentionally using the exact same words that he used 20 years, 3 months and 15 days ago. But this time I wasn’t the fragile girl who hid behind a hostile mask. This time I was someone who had to work hard to redeem myself, to heal my own wounds, and I sensed that he knew it too. Because this time, the sad eyes were replaced with a white smile, one that I’d always wanted to punch out.

“What do you want Chris?” I droned, sure to set my sights on the view that was in front of me. There were cars passing by and lights, sparkling in the distance. Out there, new stories were being written as so many souls joined their mates, I could sense it on a night like that. I didn’t quite know why, but I knew that I wanted that, what those unsuspecting party-goers were experiencing, with ever fiber of my being; I felt it, even in parts of me that I didn’t know I had.

“Having a smoke,” he finally responded, breaking my train of thought, as he leaned against the wall. He flashed me the cigarette before he effortlessly lit it up.

“You’re a cool kid now, huh?” I teased, rolling my eyes, knowing how he used to be; knowing the real him. The real Chris was a far-cry from this little persona he liked to wear but, not for nothing, stars do say that Gemini’s have two souls within one body. I always put the blame on that, blindly chose that as an excuse for why I lost him. For months, I tried to convince myself that I couldn’t connect with his other side, but maybe it was also true that some people can destroy each other, even if there is love involved. But maybe it was also true that I adored him, I loved him, and then adored him again.

“You turned me into this cool kid, remember?” He sighed, shifting slightly as he looked down at his feet. “What’s wrong?” Deep down, I knew there must have been another reason he decided to come back here. Ever since he discovered popularity and what he called the importance of a good role, it seemed like he was almost allergic to the common masses, always itching to be away from the source of buzz.

“Why didn’t you say hi?” I felt my eyebrows furrow in anger. How could he be so damned nonchalant after everything that went down? “Maybe because I didn’t want to. You got a problem with that?” I instantly regretted the words that left my mouth, more than a hint of bitterness in my tone, the words almost burning my tongue from how toxic it’d come across. “What you mean you didn’t want to? How could you... what’s your problem?” By then his tone seemed to be one of anger, but I knew better than to feed into that; I always knew better than my actions.

I’d always been a reactionary idiot who hurt those whom she loved and despite it all, I was glad he fled away, down a path to stardom. “My problem? You broke me, Chris! Are you...”

I pinched the skin between my brows as I tried to regain my breath. “You took down my guards and broke me like a promise, all in the name of being righteous; to punish me, because apparently you are some sort of bringer of justice. Why don’t you just... just leave me alone? I learned my lesson,” I grabbed the bottle of beer that I had with me, preparing to go when he grabbed my arm. His grip was tight enough to not let me go, but being always the caring soul he was, he made sure not to hurt me. “Why do you always make yourself the victim? Why do you always do this, I hurt you and I’m sorry. But I needed to somehow try to... I loved you.”

With a scoff, I pulled my arm from his grasp. “I get it, I needed it. Why don’t you just forget about me Chris? It’s best for everyone,” I sighed and looked at him, for what I thought it was the last time. “I can’t... you were my first, you can’t just forget those, haven’t you read? Can’t believe I’m teaching you something,” his tone had calmed down as he approached again.

“We need to talk,” He added. All I could do was to nod because I knew he was right. I needed to let go of things that were hurting my soul, keeping me captive; demons that would come out every time I tried to be happy.

I walked towards an outdoor sofa and sat down, just to have him follow me. “I have so many memories of you, I just... are you sure that you want to talk this out?” my voice came out hoarse, as if it didn’t want to come out at all. “Yeah, I want to” he smirked at me softly before he grabbed my hand. It was then that we started a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about the exact moment I had learned what love is, a small smile adorned on my face for those same eyes that would make me cry every time I saw them.

Authors note: some of the events in this fanfiction are based in the life of Fatima. Huge thanks to my friend Dia who helped with the graphic and editing!

[kissmetae]

Chase

x Taehyung

❧ AU: The second you left, he knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

Your plane had taken off without him waving you off, without him confessing his feelings, without saying goodbye…

You’d be back in a few months… but he wouldn’t survive the pain and guilt that long...

He had to go after you… 

A crazy idea, but for being crazy in love, it was completely sane.

He gets on the next first flight and flies back and forth over Europe chasing you, the love of his life… to confess.

|| ANGST + smut | 10k | x reader ||

❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic.  Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.

❧ Rating: MATURE | sexual content, unprotected sex

❧ A/N: I’m very proud of this AU, please excuse any unnoticed mistakes, three keys are missing from my keyboard now hehe, this gets very soft despite being heart clenching... enjoy the mini geography lesson!

He was going crazy.

He was sure about it.

No sane person would go as far as to his measures.

He was out of his mind, a mind that was fogged by a single large regret.

He was running, running as fast as he could, almost bumping into people and buildings, risking his life.

--

He was sitting on one of the benches in the changing room, tears streaming down his face. You must hate him, he thought. He looked at the time on his phone, 40 minutes ago…

40 minutes ago he knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

He threw his phone on the floor, hid his face with his hands and leaned back against the lockers.

The door to the changing rooms opened and Taehyung quickly turned away and down, to hide his face.

He sniffed. He could blame it on a cold…

“Taehyung… are you ok?” A familiar voice asked.

Taehyung looked back up and saw the concerned face of his best friend.

Jimin placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Taehyung what’s wrong?” He asked, panicked.

He couldn’t speak. If he opened his mouth his words would be drowned by his tears. Instead he just stood up and hugged his best friend tightly, in seek of his comfort.

Jimin quickly realized that there was no point of asking more questions until he had calmed down.

It took a long while before his heavy heart could feel lighter.

Jimin stepped back after a while, panicked for his friend.

“Tell me what happened!” He begged, urging Taehyung to sit back down with his hands.

“She left.”

“Yes? I thought you were fine with it?”

He shook his head, tears still streaming down his red cheeks.

Jimin took a seat next to him and put his arm around him.

“Talk to me.”

“She asked if I could wave her off Jimin… and I said no-“ He sniffed.

“No? Why did you say no?”

“Because I knew it would break me!”

Jimin looked confused.

“I couldn’t stand the fact that she’d be away for so long… I just couldn’t… and I didn’t want to stop her I…”

“Taehyung it’s alright, you can always face time right?” Jimin tried to comfort.

“She’ll be in another time zone and she’ll be busy…”

“But she’ll be back.”

“That’s not it…” Taehyung cried out.

“Then what’s the matter?”

“I love her…”

Jimin looked surprised.

“You love her?”

He nodded, heart feeling heavier than ever.

“I don’t know if she feels the same way, but I’ve been hiding it for so many years Jimin! I’m going crazy! I can’t even tell her and now she’s going away and she’ll meet other people and I… I’ve lost all my chances!”

“Taehyung calm down!”

“It hurts!” He hid his face in his hands again.

Jimin patted his back, not knowing what to do.

“Can’t you call her?”

“Her plane took off 40 minutes ago…”

“Later?”

“I can’t tell her over the phone Jimin…”

“Then go visit her?”

Taehyung looked up at Jimin.

“But she’s moving around from place to place, I don’t know where she’ll be or when…”

“Then just ask her.”

“But then she’ll suspect it! I can’t Jimin, I just can’t. It’s too much; she’ll think I’m crazy.”

“Aren’t you?”

--

The plane had two levels.

You looked out from the window in the terminal at the giant vessel.

How could it possibly fly?

You hoped you’d have a seat on the upper level and maybe that would cheer you up a little.

This was the largest business trip one could possibly have ever agreed on. Were you crazy?

Probably.

For a few months you’d be travelling around in Europe, meeting various businesses who were owned by the business you worked for and basically familiar yourself with them and check that they meet the global standard that was required. It was an honor to be asked to represent the company in such a big mission and at first you were hesitant towards accepting the offer… but you would return.

The return would be your comfort when times were tough.

When you returned, you would’ve have pocketed a large sum of money that came with the mission as well.

Travel around was something you’d always wanted to do and the various businesses would for sure show you around and introduce you to their cultures… but you were still upset.

The fact that your best friend hadn’t waved you off… hurt.

You wouldn’t be seeing him for months… and he didn’t come to say good bye?

Did you not mean more to him?

Your comfort was that this trip would help your feelings die down.

You didn’t know why it had taken you so long to realize how much he meant to you and how in love you were… suppressed feelings had spilled over the rim and your heart had begun to ache.

His smile made you blush and his eyes made your knees weak when they looked your way…

He was causing you trouble! Clouding your mind constantly, intruding on your dreams and making you long for something so close, but felt so far away.

He meant the world to you.

Maybe not having him say good bye was for the better… because he was the only reason you’d stay.

--

You had been gone for three days now.

Taehyung had received a text, informing him that you were safely on the ground, making his heart sting with even more guilt.

“I’m glad, come back soon!” Was his response.

A big lie.

His heart screamed “Come back now! Come back! Don’t leave me here without you! I’ll come get you if you don’t come back! Please!”

He knew your first destination was Italy.

His fingers moved over the keys on his laptop, looking up what flight could take him to Italy the soonest… In case he’d want to visit… soon.

Long transits… 16 hours, 23 hours even 31 hours…

Why was it suddenly so complicated to fly to Italy!?

He slammed his laptop shut.

“How long are you going to be in Italy?” He typed out and hit send.

He looked at the time, you should be up by now…

“I’m in Denmark!”

What!?

“Denmark? I thought you were going to Italy?”

“I did! I flew to Denmark last night!

Taehyung opened his laptop again and edited his search to Denmark.

“Tomorrow I’m flying to Estonia!”

Estonia!? Taehyung pulled a hand through his hair in frustration.

This was going to be impossible.

“Just book the ticket to Estonia and wait for her there!” He yelled at himself.

… two stops

2 hour transit… followed by 18 hours.

He clicked book.

18 hours in Finland? Maybe he would make it… The flight would be tomorrow and if you wouldn’t stay there long, maybe he could take a train or boat or even rent a car and drive to Estonia?

His phone dinged.

-E-ticket confirmation-

“What did I just do?”

--

You were having dinner with the people from the business you were visiting at one of the most renowned restaurants in Tallinn, Estonia’s capital city.

During the morning you had participated in a few meetings and then been shown around the facility. It was a lot of information to take in and take notes of but in the afternoon you’d have time to look around the city before dinner and relax, which you did.

When you returned to the hotel later that evening you posted some pictures you had taken of the city on Instagram. As your finger hit post on the last photo your phone suddenly rang.

You had to fly back to Italy, ASAP.

Your company had booked you onto the first flight the next morning. You were meant to take a flight to Prague in two days! Those two days leading up would’ve been your first two days off since leaving!

You felt stressed and quickly clicked into your messaging app and began typing out a long rant to Taehyung to ease your mind.

--

The young woman working behind the counter jumped when Taehyung suddenly accidently slammed his passport on the counter.

“What’s the next flight to Prague from here?” He panted, out of breath.

She began typing on her computer.

Taehyung had been waiting 4 hours now instead of 2.

His flight was delayed.

A miracle or else he would’ve seen your text when he was in Finland.

“There’s a flight tomorrow at six.”

“I want it.”

“Don’t you want to know the price?”

He already put his card in the machine.

“It doesn’t matter.”

She told him the price but he didn’t take in any of the information she was giving.

All he wanted were his new tickets and something to eat.

“Can you cancel my connection to Helsinki?”

“It’s not refundable sir.”

“I know, just give the seat to anyone who needs it.” He said, took his ticket and left.

While eating at the first appetizing place he could find he studied his ticket.

“First class.”

He rolled his eyes.

Money wasn’t an issue, all he wanted was to get to you and tell him he was sorry…

and that he loves you.

His phone suddenly rang.

Jimin.

“Hello.”

“Taehyung what the fuck!?”

He had seen his text…

“I know…”

“You’re crazy, where are you?”

“Amsterdam.”

--

You tried to call Taehyung but you only got sent to voicemail.

Was his phone off?

You sighed.

You missed him.

You wanted to hear his voice.

The emergency in Italy was solved and you were now waiting at the airport in Rome to board your flight that would take you directly to Prague and then to Kiev.

The visit in Prague was moved on their behalf and thus your company immediately put you on the next flight to Ukraine instead. The route they booked just so happened to have a short transit in Prague.

Guess you’d see what that city had to offer in the next coming weeks instead…

You looked at the time and wondered what Taehyung could be doing at this time… Maybe he had just woken up? Was eating breakfast or dinner? Your tired head couldn’t come around to figure out what the time was for him… Stop thinking about him! You yelled in your head.

You boarded your flight and it quickly took you to Prague.

You sent a text to Taehyung, hesitating at first but you promised you’d always let him know whenever you were back on the ground.

“In Prague, flying to Kiev in an hour and a half. Last minute change :/”

--

Taehyung immediately turned off flight mode when the plane landed, seeing your text.

-20 minutes ago-

His heart began to beat hard.

You were here! You were in the same place!

He practically ran off the plane and sent a thought of thanks to the woman in Amsterdam for booking him first class, scoring him a seat in the very front of the plane.

He ran to the first monitor he could find, searching frantically for the flight to Kiev.

He found it.

Gate H61.

He looked around at the signs, but no sign pointed towards any gates beginning with H.

Confused he ran towards the duty free store and asked the cashier.

“Sorry do you know where gate H61 is?”

“It’s in Terminal three.”

“What terminal is this?”

“Terminal one.”

“Thank you.”

He followed the signs towards the terminal three, running.

He looked like a mess but he didn’t care.

He reached the final sign… in front of a passport control.

“Fuck…” He mumbled.

He approached the border police hesitantly and handed them his passport.

“Where are you travelling?”

“I- I just arrived.”

The border police handed him his passport back.

“The exit is to the left and down the stairs, follow the signs.”

“No, I- I need to get in here.”

“Sir, you can’t. You need a valid boarding pass for me to let you through.”

“Why isn’t the Kiev flight at the other terminal?”

“Because it’s outside of the Schengen area sir.”

Taehyung took his passport with his head hung low in defeat.

He walked over to one of the nearby benches and sunk down on it.

He sniffled and took his phone out of his pocket.

--

“Taehyung I tried to call you! Are you going to sleep soon? Is the weather nice?”

You heard a low sniffle from the other end.

“Yeah… I’m going to sleep soon.” He said, followed by a low chuckle.

His tone sounded weird…

“Is everything ok?”

--

“I-I’m ok, I just wanted to hear your voice.” He bit his lip, holding back his tears and leaned back against the wall behind the bench.

--

Hear your voice?

Your heart beat increased.

He wasn’t going to make it easy for you, was he?

“I missed your voice.” You confessed, lowering your voice.

He chuckled.

“I miss you so much, when will you come home?”

“4 months.” You sighed.

“It’s so long.”

“I know… Can we switch to face time? I want to see you.”

“Ah, but I look messy.”

“I don’t care, I want to see you.”

--

“Just- just wait a little.”

He panicked and stood up from the bench. He looked around and the border police gave him a weird look from their booth. Taehyung spotted a sign for the bathroom and quickly ran towards it with his bag.

“Ok.” He said, seated in one of the stalls.

He accepted the request and put his headphones in.

You smiled widely at the sight of him and he smiled back.

“You don’t look messy!” You giggled.

“I need a shower.”

“Are you sleeping enough?”

“The past nights have been rough.”

“You look tired.” You pouted. “Why were they rough?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just stressed. Don’t worry.”

“Of course I’ll worry.”

He smiled sweetly, admiring you.

“Where are you going next?” He asked.

“Norway! I’m really excited. I’m only staying a night in Kiev but I’ll be staying longer in Oslo and I’ll finally have some free time so I can rest!” You said excitingly.

“Oslo? It’s nice there.”

“I’m excited!”

“Will you wait for me there… if I visit you?”

You looked surprised.

“Will you visit me?”

You never thought he would…

Taehyung suddenly flinched and the call ended.

His heart was racing.

He was quick to react.

“Final call Iceland air flight-“

He sighed.

The tune before the announcement could’ve exposed him…

You were calling back.

With a heavy heart he denied the call and switched his phone off.

He left the stall and walked out of the bathroom.

-Dun dun-

“Personal call for passenger-“

He sighed and began following the signs for the exit. Book a flight to Oslo and take in at a hotel for the night and freshen up and sleep. That was his new plan.

He walked past a tiny café on his way out and glanced over it when he suddenly froze, heart stopping.

There was a glass wall in front of the café, the only way in was via the passport control…

You were there.

Sitting at one of the tables with an empty plate in front of you and your phone in your hands… crying.

You wiped the back of your hand across your cheek and put your phone down.

He quickly escaped out of your sight, holding his fist pressed against his mouth, desperate to stop the tears that were welling up.

Why were you crying?

Was it his fault?

You were there all the time…

He wanted to run to you, run and comfort you, hold you close and kiss every tear away… but he couldn’t.

You thought he was in Korea.

He had lied to you.

He looked back at you, wishing you’d accidently see him… force him to explain… but his legs managed to carry him the way to the exit.

Taehyung walked with a heavy heart out of the airport, passing by the ticket offices and neglecting them.

“I’ll just book it on my phone…” He thought.

All he wanted was to shower and lie down now.

He searched up the nearest hotel on his phone and luckily there was an airport hotel right nearby.

“Do you have any rooms available for one night?”

“We do! Would you like a single or double room?”

“Single please.”

“That’s 1600 koruna for one night. Can I borrow your passport and credit card please?”

Taehyung handed the receptionist what he asked for.

A short while later he was handed them back together with a room key.

“Breakfast is included and is served in the room behind you between 6am and 10am.” The receptionist smiled and gestured towards the dining room.

“Thank you.”

--

Why wouldn’t he pick up!? Did his phone die?

A second more and you would’ve started considering going back home until he hinted on visiting you.

You wanted to call him back again and convince him to come visit you! You wanted him here with you and for once it felt like he really was there and then suddenly he wasn’t.

You gave up.

Your feelings weren’t going to go away, not like this.

A tear escaped your eye and ran down your cheek.

You cursed silently.

Why did your heart have to love him of all people…?

A dumb question.

But this was breaking your heart and you needed to board your flight soon.

--

The bed felt soft against his bare back.

Taehyung lied down on the bed with a towel wrapped around his hips after his long shower.

He reached for his phone and began to click through to the booking site.

The shower helped him calm down and collect his thoughts.

All he needed now was a good night’s sleep and everything would be ok. He convinced himself.

One night meant you’d be on your way to Norway tomorrow…

-No flights available, please check other dates-

The day after tomorrow…

There was one flight, late.

He quickly booked it.

Two nights in Prague… and getting up there another way would be a hassle. He didn’t know what trains to take and driving was the last thing he would want to do alone in a foreign country.

--

The meetings in Kiev were long and you were hungry.

The bosses of the company did their very best to impress you and it all sounded good but on an empty stomach it was hard for you to concentrate.

You knew that if you mentioned lunch, lunch would be served. The places you had visited so far showed a concerning amount of respect towards you, almost as if they were intimidated by you… which they should be, but you’re a human too. Sure you represented a large company that had the upper hand of all of them, a bad impression on you could cause them so much trouble but so far you hadn’t stumbled upon anything besides the incident in Italy that was of concern.

The host of the meeting announced a five minute break and you took your chance. You approached the older man and asked him when lunch would be served and suddenly the schedule was shifted.

The other participants looked confused for a moment when he suddenly announced that he meant lunch instead, not a five minute coffee break.

On your way to the cafeteria in the building you fished your phone out of your pocket and had a quick glance.

No missed calls.

Your heart sunk in your chest.

But now wasn’t the time to concern yourself about him, you were here for work.

You shrugged the thoughts of Taehyung off.

Forget him.

--

Taehyung walked around the city, admiring the old buildings and taking a few photos.

He brought his camera along… just in case. He was happy and thankful for his decision.

While in the center of town he also stopped by a few shops to by himself some more and warmer clothes. Strolling through the streets he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be here with you… You could go sightseeing together, hold hands, do some fun shopping and go to nice restaurants, take cute couple photos by the river… look at the old castle…

He felt lonely.

Should he call you?

He decided no and instead called Jimin while walking back towards the bus stop to get back to the airport hotel.

Jimin didn’t pick up.

Not a surprise considering that it was in the middle of the night over there.

If he called you, you’d know that it was in the middle of the night…

He got on the bus and put his headphones instead to listen to some music. He scrolled through Instagram during the bus ride and came across your photos from Estonia and now Kiev.

He liked them and realized a second later that you’d see that he had.

“Fuck… never mind.” He sighed.

--

Your head hit the pillow hard after the long day.

Despite being tired you had agreed on following them out for a late night outing only to then leave it early and excuse yourself with that your flight was early the next day, when it in fact was mid-day.

Your feet were aching and resting on the bed was such a relief.

You felt stressed and exhausted, but your feed made it look like you were having the best of times seeing all these places.

Your phone lit up every now and then from the few like of your photos of Kiev and to your surprise you saw Taehyung’s name among them.

“Shouldn’t he be sleeping?”

You quickly sent him a text.

“Are you awake?”

After a longer while he finally responded.

“I am.”

“I can’t sleep :(”

“Your sleeping troubles are worrying me. Do you drink tea before bed? It might help”

“I’ll try it. Don’t worry about me though.”

Whenever he told you not to worry while you were worrying, it made you feel frustrated.

“Taehyung I will worry!”

“I’m ok~”

“Stop texting me and go back to sleep.”

“no”

“Yes!”

“no”

“I’m not going to reply anymore.”

“Then I’ll cry myself to sleep.”

“Stop haha”

“I miss you a lot.”

“I miss you too, but you still need to sleep. We can face time tomorrow when you wake up?”

“When is your flight?”

“Oh yeah… we can face time when I’ve landed maybe? My flight is during the morning for you.”

It took him longer to reply this time.

“ok”

You wanted to send him something affectionate… but you couldn’t get yourself to do it with ease.

Perhaps a heart? A heart could be platonic…

“❤”

”❤❤❤❤❤❤”

So much for trying to get over him…

--

Would you figure out his cryptic message? Was it obvious that the hearts were meant to stand for “I love u”?

It was getting harder and harder for him to contain himself.

All he wanted was for his flight to Norway to come sooner… so he could hold you.

He was letting himself go even more, more than he already had. Maybe call it accidental flirting but deep down it was intentional.

“I miss you so much.” He sent, trying to come across as pleading.

“Then why didn’t you wave me off?”

His heart dropped.

--

Maybe anger would do? Yes, anger.

If you boiled up anger towards him maybe it would be easier to let him go… but to what use? Did you want to return home to him not being your friend anymore?

You instantly regretted sending that.

--

“I’m sorry, I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it.” He typed out, being honest but then deleting the later and only sending that he was sorry.

“It’s ok, I understand if you were busy.”

That reply made him feel even worse.

“Please wait for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just wait for me, please.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Good night.”

He placed his phone on the nightstand and it dinged when you responded but he didn’t bother to look, assuming it was just a good night which back despite it being evening.

--

Your plane touched down in Oslo on time and you were picked up by a pre-booked taxi to take you to your hotel near the business district.

--

Taehyung anxiously tried to waste his time before his flight.

He locked his tiny suitcase in a locker at the airport and headed into town one last time.

Should he buy you a gift?

He walked past a few jewelry shops and the idea intrigued him more and more.

What if you wouldn’t like it?

Maybe you didn’t want him to visit?

But you said you missed him…

He stopped in front of the window of a shop and his eyes caught the attention of one of the rings displayed on a piece of red velvet fabric.

A ring?

Maybe it looked too much like an engagement ring…

A thought suddenly struck him but he quickly shrugged it off and continued walking.

He walked into a clothing store instead and looked at the scarves and gloves… were you cold?

Did you have plenty of warm clothes with you?

You could borrow his scarf if you were cold… like you did once.

He suddenly found himself surrounded with baby clothes, haven accidently walked into the kids section, distracted with thoughts.

A tiny pair of gloves caught his attention and he couldn’t stop himself from feeling the soft fabric.

/Why am I so dumb…?/

He sighed and left the store.

Maybe he should just get to the airport early and wait there instead…

It felt like the whole town was suddenly crowded with couples and families, all happy people in love surrounding him…

His heart was aching and he quickly fled towards the bus stop to head to the airport.

--

The business you were visiting had surprisingly prepared a boat ride in the fjord for all the participants, something that had you very excited. The boat would take you to a conference center where you’d have a few meetings. Before that you had already been shown around the facility and gotten answers on all of your questions. The day would end with a big dinner later that evening.

The rain was hanging in the clouds but it had yet to fall over the city when you all climbed onboard the boat.

You eagerly took pictures of the beautiful scenery and quickly sent one to Taehyung.

You chatted with one of the participants and he eagerly told you about their food culture and the history of fishing.

It was a beautiful city, a lot smaller to the size than you had expected, but still stunning nonetheless. It had certain serenity and calm that wasn’t common for capitals.

You wanted to return.

Luckily you had your few free days to spend here before you headed to France.

--

As the plane approached there was a stunning view of city lights.

The lights became fewer and fewer the lower the plane flew and the occasional light appeared again when it flew over a highway. A mere moment later the colorful lights of the runway were in sight and the plane touched down with a gentle thud.

He hurried off the plane, got a stamp in his passport by the border and grabbed the first taxi to take him into the city.

There was no time to waste.

He walked into the first hotel he could find and paid for three nights.

The hotel was large and lavish looking and not too far away was the royal palace.

Taehyung dropped his bag off in his room quickly and then ran out into the night.

--

The dinner had come to an end and you were all saying your goodbyes. According to your phone your hotel was a short walk from where you had been eating so you decided to enjoy the cool midnight air with a walk back.

The streets were empty and lit up by shop windows and street lights.

A cold wind from the fjord whistled through the city, making you shiver and pull your coat tighter around you.

Your phone suddenly rang.

You heart skipped a beat when you read Taehyung’s name on the screen. You had forgotten that you were going to face time when you landed! You groaned in annoyance at yourself and quickly picked up.

“Taehyung-“

“Where are you!?” He screamed, out of breath.

“What?”

“Where are you!?”

“I- I’m in Oslo.”

“Where!?”

You looked around.

“Near the train station…”

“Stay there!”

“Taehyung what’s the matter?”

“Just stay there!” He cried out.

Your heartbeat increased and you began to feel unsafe.

“Taehyung this isn’t funny.”

“Wait!”

“Wait for what!?”

“Go to the train station!”

“Ok, ok… I’m going, but why?”

He didn’t respond, all you could hear was his uneasy breathing, making it sound like he was running.

--

He could see the train station, but not you.

“Where are you?” He asked again.

“I- I don’t know, it says oe…østbanehallen on the building.” You said, struggling to pronounce it. “It’s white and there’s a statue in front of it. Why are you asking?”

He started running again, around the corner of the large building, desperate to find you.

--

“Taehyung? Hello?” You repeated, you were getting cold and you wanted to go back, what was he doing?

The phone call cut off.

You looked at your phone with a confused expression and put it back in your pocket as you began to walk again.

But you were stopped by the call of your name.

You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice, in disbelief.

“Taehyung?!”

He was running towards you, his phone dead in his hand, breathing heavily and tears streaming down his face.

His strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close and cried out against your shoulder.

“F- finally…” He panted.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, hugging him back.

Holding back the tears of relief from seeing him, feeling his arms around you and his sudden presence was difficult. One tear managed to escape your eye at first and you sniffled softly.

“Something I should’ve done long ago!” He cried.

His cold hands suddenly grabbed the sides of your face and before you could react his lips crashed against yours.

There was no turning back now.

The bottle overflowing with feeling for him had been kicked over and smashed.

You held your arms around him tighter and pressed back against the kiss, tears falling freely.

He pulled back, your lips making a low smack sound and his hands still on the sides of your face when he looked you deeply in the eyes.

“I love you!”

“I love you too.” You almost whispered, drowned out by your tears.

He kissed you again and one of his hands fell to your side.

His kiss was passionate and filled with desire… making out with you, releasing all suppressed feelings.

“Did you come all this way to tell me that?” You sniffed, when he pulled away again.

“and that I’m sorry for not waving you off, I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“If you showed up I would’ve stayed.”

He chuckled and stroked his thumb across your cheekbone to wipe your tears away.

“Maybe it was better that I showed up here instead.”

You nodded and leaned in to kiss him more.

You pressed your forehead against his.

“You must be so tired…” You sniffled.

“I rested when I was in Prague.”

“You were in Prague?”

“and Amsterdam to go to Estonia and then cancelled my flight and rebooked on the spot to Prague instead.” He giggled. “I chased you all this way...”

“Taehyung…” You looked up into his eyes. “You’re crazy.” You giggled through the tears.

“I’m crazy for you.” He kissed your forehead.

“I almost had you in Prague but I arrived at the wrong terminal and they wouldn’t let me through…”

“But… we facetimed…”

“I hid in the bathroom so you wouldn’t see where I was.”

“Why- Why didn’t you just tell me…”

“I wanted to tell you in person.”

You hid your face against his chest.

His hand patted your head soothingly and you stayed like that for a while.

--

“Where are you staying?” You asked, looking back up at him.

“The grand, I think it was called. Where are you staying?” His hand caressed your cheek.

“Near the barcode district.” You sniffed. “I don’t remember the name of it.”

“Can I walk you there?”

“No!” You shook your head and hid against his chest again. “I want to stay with you. You’re not allowed to leave me now.”

“Whatever you say sweetie.” He kissed your head. His voice was so soothing and calm… making you miss him even more despite him being in your arms.

He reached for his scarf and un-wrapped it from his neck, placing it around you instead. His hand grabbed your hand, locking fingers and you began walking back to his hotel.

You held onto his arm with your other hand, refusing to let go of him whatever would happen.

He smiled shyly.

His hotel was barely five minutes away and you quickly got back into the warm indoors and headed straight for his room.

He took off his coat and hung it on the hook by the door and walked over to his tiny carry-on suitcase.

You took off your coat and his scarf and hung it on the hook as well and took a seat on the large bed in his room.

“You’re staying the night.” Taehyung claimed shyly and handed you one of his new t-shirts from his suitcase.

“I’m staying as long as you are, we can get my stuff tomorrow.”

Taehyung smiled, getting to hear exactly what he wanted to hear.

You suddenly felt the delicate touch of his fingers under your chin as he tilted your face up. He leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?” He whispered.

“As long as I have?”

“I hope so.”

He stood back up and took out his sleep wear from his suitcase and you fled into the bathroom to change.

If he confessed the full truth he feared he’d scare you away. Not only had he dreamt of your kiss for so long, but also to just be with you… the small moments and the big moments… He was In love with you, so so in love with you… He wanted to spend his life with you, kiss you, hug you, have sex with you, get married, have kids, everything! He knew you were the one for him, even more when he felt the strong regret seeing the time on his phone, knowing that your plane had taken off and that it was too late for him… but it didn’t take him long to go crazy.

He changed quickly and got into bed, not bothering with his routines, all he wanted was to hold you close, from now and forever, throughout the night.

You stepped out of the bathroom with your clothes in your arms and put them down on the couch in the room. You kept your panties on under the oversized t-shirt and quickly made your way to under the covers, next to his warm body.

It felt so right.

He pulled you close, nuzzled his nose against your neck with his arm snug around you.

You belonged in his arms and he belonged in yours.

--

Saying goodbye was hard.

You had to go to France, he had to go back home.

After the few days you shared together in Oslo, you didn’t want him to leave…

The dates, the kisses, the snuggles, the love and affection he gave you… you didn’t want to lose it as soon as you had gained it.

Hi hand caressed your cheek.

“Please cheer up.” He begged.

“I don’t want you to go…” You cried.

“I don’t want to go either, but I have to and you’re doing an important job.”

“Will you call me every day?”

“Of course I will.” He brushed his nose against yours cutely.

“If you ever need me, I’ll be on the next plane. I promise.”

You kissed him.

“I’ll try to come back earlier.”

“I’ll wait for you when you do. I’ll be there to pick you up and kiss you the first thing I do when you get back.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

“You’re strong baby.” He smiled. “We can do this.” He ensured, even though it hurt him.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, so much.” He kissed your forehead.

“Call me when you’re back at home.”

“I will baby.” He pulled you closer one last time and you shared a long passionate kiss before being pulled apart by thousands of miles for the next few months.

He turned around and holding back his tears were hard.

Something bumped into him from behind and a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

A last hug.

--

Breakfast facetime dates, dinner facetime dates.

In bed facetime dates, out and about facetime dates.

The highlight of the days spent apart.

Weeks passed by and your flight back home had been officially booked and you were counting down the days.

The days until you receive that huge check, the day you’d arrive back home, the day you’d complete your grand mission of honor and the day you would finally be in his arms again…

Few weeks became few days and few days became a few hours when you were waiting at an airport in Germany for a flight to take you directly home, business class.

“A few hours and I’ll see you!”

“Have a safe flight! I can’t wait to finally hug you again.”

--

The countdown had begun.

A promise would be broken.

But it would be worth it… he’d make it all better.

Jimin would pick you up from the airport in his place, something you’d first find out about when you arrived…

He was nervous.

Would you hate him? Probably for a while…

But he had to do this.

In conclusion… Jimin would pick you up, but not drive you home.

Hours passed.

Your flight was approaching.

20 minutes delayed, not too bad.

Jimin was nervous too.

He hadn’t met you in forever…

You had two suitcases pilled on a luggage cart when you spotted Jimin by arrivals.

Surprised and a bit confused you looked around for Taehyung when he approached you.

“Taehyung sent me to pick you up, welcome home, please don’t hit me.” He chuckled and gave you a hug.

Oh well…

Jimin quickly stole the cart from you and pushed it for you towards the pick-up parking.

“You must be a gold member now, considering all the flights you’ve had!” Jimin said.

“Diamond, actually.” You chuckled.

“Diamond even, man I wonder how many levels these airlines actually have before you get a private jet.”

You chuckled.

“How come Taehyung couldn’t come?” You asked.

“Ugh… work is being a bitch you know.”

“I understand.”

“Don’t be mad at him, he really wanted to be here.” He smiled, trying to comfort you.

You put your suitcases in the car and took the cart back before driving away from the airport and on to highway you hadn’t seen for so long…

“It feels nice to be back.” You smiled, exhaling deeply.

“Not much has changed.”

“Good.” You giggled.

Jimin pulled off the highway and you assumed he was just taking a different route.

But roads and streets quickly turned unfamiliar.

“Did I forget the way or are we going somewhere else?”

“This is a short cut I found.” Jimin lied.

“Oh ok.”

You just wanted to go back home as soon as possible and have a long shower.

Jimin suddenly pulled over.

--

He was fidgeting with his fingers.

Why was the flight late? It was making him more anxious…

Maybe he should’ve just gone for there and then at the airport instead… But he wanted the setting to be nice…

He was standing in a tiny park, dressed in a long black coat to keep him warm.

It was early morning and the ground and grass was covered with frost and the park was empty.

--

“Why are we stopping?”

“I need to pick up something here… sorry.”

“Can I stay in the car?”

“Uhm, no… You need to be with me when I pick this up.”

“Is it heavy?” You asked and unbuckled your seatbelt.

“Yeah, sorry….”

You weren’t making it easy for him.

He couldn’t go with you…

You started walking into the park when Jimin suddenly stopped.

“Ah, I- I forgot something in the car, keep walking, I’ll catch up.”

Before any questions could be asked Jimin turned around and ran back towards the car.

You continued on the path, admiring the frost.

You suddenly noticed someone between the trees… Who was in the park this early?

Maybe it was someone taking their dog out?

But no dog was seen…

You walked past the trees and you finally recognized the person standing on the grass, shivering with his hands in his pockets.

This fool….

You ran towards him and he noticed you right away.

You threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him while he picked you up by the waist and spun you around.

“Why are you here?” You laughed and he put you down.

“This park is prettier than the airport.”

What did he mean?

He took a step back and your arms fell from him.

“It’s cold, but know that I’m wearing a suit under my jacket.” He suddenly confessed.

You chuckled, what?

Your expression quickly changed when he reached into his pocket and went down on one knee…

What was happening!? What was going on!? Your heart was racing.

“Will you marry me?”

Your heart wasn’t racing anymore, it was pounding hard in your chest.

“Y- yes!”

He smiled widely and reached for your hand to put the ring on it.

Your hand was shaking, not from the cold…

He stood back up and pulled you close for a deep kiss.

The welcome home kiss you had been waiting for and he had waited to give you.

“I’m so glad you’re home.” He whispered.

You sniffled.

You looked down at the beautiful ring on your finger.

“I first saw that ring when I was in Prague and I knew it’d be the ring I’d propose to you with.”

“Have you held on to it for this long?”

He shook his head.

“I flew over last weekend and bought it.”

“You’re crazy.” You cried out, laughing and pulled him in for another kiss.

“Crazy for you.” he said after the kiss and nuzzled your neck, making you giggle.

--

You looked down at your hand for probably the thousand time that day, unable to stop admiring it.

In your hands was a folder that you had prepared for your big presentation at work.

You had a few days off to prepare from coming back home to coming back to work.

After the presentation you would be handed your check along with a letter of recommendation.

The presentation went well and you were proud of yourself for what you had accomplished. The framed letter and the envelope with the check were handed to you together with a large bouquet of flowers. After the big presentation there was a mingle with small pieces of food and champagne, but you wouldn’t stay for very long.

“You’re going home already, I’ve missed you?” Your coworker pouted.

“Yes, I want to get home and rest after this adventure.” You chuckled.

“I understand, how are you getting home?”

“My fiancée is picking me up.”

“Oh well, next time we work together I want to hear everything about your trip!”

“I’ll let you know!” You smiled and grabbed your bouquet, heading for the exit.

Taehyung had parked right outside and you quickly ran towards the car through the cold and put the flower in the back seat before taking a seat in the front next to Taehyung.

“Hi baby.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss you.

You caressed his jaw and reached for your seatbelt while receiving the sweet kiss.

“Did you wait long?” You asked and buckled it.

“Not long.” He smiled and started the car.

After a short drive you arrived back home at your place. It took a while to get home but during the way you were occupied admiring your fiancées hands on the wheel, more specifically the dainty silver ring on his ring finger, his engagement ring.

Why should you be the only one to have such a prized possession? He was engaged too.

You grabbed his wrist and slid your hand down into his as you walked to your apartment from the car park.

He smiled proudly, holding your flowers for you.

“What are you looking at?” He asked sweetly, noticing you looking down.

“You have such pretty hands.”

“Thank you!” He smiled widely, blushing cheeks puffing up.

--

You walked into your bedroom to get changed into something more comfortable from your formal dress but you struggled to reach the zipper in the back. You gave up with a sigh and popped your head out of the door.

“Taehyung?”

“Yeah?” He turned around to look you way from the sofa in the living room.

“I can’t reach the zipper… can you help me?” You pouted.

He immediately stood up and walked over to your room.

You turned your back against him and moved your hair to the side.

“I think it might be stu-“

He cut you off by kissing your neck.

“I’ll fix!”

He grabbed the zipper and carefully pulled it down slowly, all the way down to your waist, were it came to a stop.

His finger trailed lightly up your spine, giving you shivers.

You only needed help with the zipper…

He slipped your dress off your shoulders, tracing kisses against your left shoulder, following the slow movement of his hand.

The dress fell to the floor, leaving you in only your bra, panties and thigh high socks.

You let him continue.

He unhooked your bra, slipping the straps off your shoulder and repeating his move on your right shoulder.

You quickly grew slightly aroused by his touch and your bra joined the dress on the floor.

You covered your breasts with your arms and looked back over your shoulder to see Taehyung unbuttoning his shirt.

“Help me?” He suggested, raising a brow.

You turned around fully and he eyed you up and down, taking in the view with sudden lust filled eyes.

You moved your arms away and reached for the next button on his shirt. You gasped suddenly when his strong arm wrapped around you and pulled you closer against his body.

You quickly unbuttoned the buttons between you and he pulled his shirt off his broad shoulders and tossed it to the floor.

The next thing you knew, you squealed as he picked you up and put you down on the bed. He let his hands caress up your legs to the hem of your thigh high sock and slipped each one off your legs slowly, one at the time.

Impatient, you sat back up, grabbed his hair and pulled him close; crashing your lips against his in a kiss fueled by hunger and need. He crawled up on top of you on the bed and slipped his tongue between your plump lips.

You wanted him.

He wanted you.

His hands moved up your sides, caressing your skin from your hip to your waist and up along the sides of your chest until he reached your breasts. He cupped each in one hand and squeezed gently, making you let out a soft low moan against the kiss, arousal growing even stronger.

Your hands played with his long soft hair, turning the neat curled style into a fluffed up mess while he explored every surface of your breasts, fondling, squeezing, feeling…

His thumb and index pinched lightly at your left nipple, awakening your arousal even more and stronger and you felt yourself getting wet under his touch.

He pulled away from the kiss and latched on to your right nipple, sucking on it roughly and pulling gently with his lips to make it even harder for him.

His other hand replaced his lips, pinching and twisting ever so gently while he hid his face in the crook between your neck and shoulder, placing soft kisses against your skin.

The touch of his soft wet lips tickled slightly and made you squirm.

He chuckled lightly at your reaction and playfully nibbled your skin, but enough to make it develop into a small bruised mark.

He moved up to your ear lobe instead and nibbled at it gently and let his hands fall to the sides of you instead to support his body.

You pushed him over, rolling on top of him, seated over his hips.

He looked up at you with wide eyes and a surprised expression.

You walked your hands up his bare chest and leaned down by his ear, teasingly repeating his own move and sucking softly at his ear lobe, tugging at it gently with your lips.

A giggle tickled his ear.

You had your left hand against the side of his thick neck, caressing it passionately and feeling his smooth skin.

He seemed to like it, looking up at you with dark eyes and a wide smirk.

His hands travelled up your thighs while your lips trailed kisses down his neck to his collarbone.

You gently squeezed your left hand around his neck, earning a low moan.

You sat up straight, hands pressed against his chest. When you lowered yourself to sit on him you felt his hard bulge poke you through his black jeans. You climbed off him instead and he was quick to tackle you and get back on top.

You reached for his belt buckle and pulled at it a few times before unbuckling his belt. Taehyung placed a kiss on your lips and sat up on his knees over you and unzipped his jeans, pulling them down his thighs, exposing his hard cock straining against the fabric of his boxers.

He got off you and quickly took his jeans off, kicking them off the bed, leaving you in an equal amount of clothing. Getting back on top his lips immediately found yours and he kissed you passionately, lips sucking on lips, tongue swirling around tongue, quickly becoming a mess.

He pulled away, not far. His nose brushed against yours and his hand cupped the side of your face. His thumb caressed your lower lip, dragging across it slowly.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered.

“So are you.”

“So beautiful…” He pressed his forehead against yours.

Your fingers found the hem of his boxers and pulled them down slowly as far as you could before he stood up straight on his knees again, touch abandoning you.

He hooked his finger under the side of your panties and began to slip them down your legs as far as possible before he got off of you and yanked them off completely.

His hands reached for himself, sliding his boxers down his hips, exposing himself.

He grabbed his thick cock with one hand after successfully getting rid of the last remaining piece of clothing keeping you apart.

The tip was slightly pink, begging for touch, achingly hard and aroused.

A few subtle veins trailed up his length from the very base of his cock.

He looked good…

Aren’t people the most attractive when they’re aroused and horny?

His hand slowly stroked himself and he swallowed, looking down at you.

You sat up, grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down on the bed, straddling him.

His hand immediately left his cock, making it fall against his lower abdomen as both his hands grabbed your waist.

You positioned yourself and began to grind gently against his cock, making him bite his lip. Sliding up and down his lengths, coating him with your arousal that was just making you more and more wet, aching for relief.

You had your hands pressed against his chest, one of Taehyung’s hands left your waist to caress your wrist instead. You stopped your movements and leaned down to kiss him.

A final kiss before you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself anymore…

You pulled away, leaving him needy for your lips to return. You reached down and wrapped your hand gently around his cock, dragging the tip up and down your slit a few times before you lowered yourself, positioning the tip by your entrance and sliding down his thick length halfway.

Your hand returned to his chest and he thrusted upwards, desperate to slip in further, for you to take his full length. Your nails scratched his skin softly and you let him slide in all the way, stretching you out. He felt so good…

You pushed yourself up and lowered yourself back down again, picking up a slow pace. He exhaled deeply under you as you began to ride him faster, sliding up and down half his length before you pushed down all the way, making both of you let out a whimpering moan. You picked up your speed fast, sliding up and down his thick cock from right beneath his head to the very base.

His big hands grabbed your hips, guiding you and making it even harder to contain the sounds of pleasure needing to escape your throat.

You leaned your head back, smiling widely as pleasure took over all your senses. You felt sexy riding him like this…

You grabbed his hand from your hip and locked your fingers with his, pressing his hand back against the bed, doing the same with the other and leaning down to kiss him.

He moaned against the kiss, desperate to push you back down on his cock but his hands squeezed your tightly as you suffocated his helpless needy whimpers with your tongue.

Your thighs were giving in, but you didn’t want to give in now… not when you were feeling the sweet feeling leading up to your climax.

Out of breath you pulled away from the kiss and Taehyung noticed your building exhaustion. He used his strength and pushed your hands back, making you lose your grip of his hands and he quickly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you down against his chest, making him slip out and he rolled over, now on top of you.

He kissed your lips and thrusted back in hard and deep, making you moan loud.

“I’ll take over now baby.” He whispered.

He went hard.

Full force.

Thrusting deep, hard and fast.

Immediately sending you close to the edge.

“Does it feel good?” He asked in a cocky tone.

“Mhmm” You hummed, holding onto him tight.

“You’re such a good girl.”

“I’m so proud of you, you know that huh?” He panted, repeatedly praising you.

He moaned loudly.

“Fuck!”

He leaned in by your ear, making you able to hear his heavy breathing even more.

“And you’re so good at taking my cock.” He chuckled, devilishly.

He hummed in pleasure against your ear and you grabbed on even tighter, fingers desperately searching for grip on his shoulder blades when you felt your muscles tense up.

He thrusted harder, earning a moan on the border to a scream.

“I’m close.” He whispered and pounded harder into you again.

“D-don’t stop!” You begged.

He went faster, sweat forming on his skin, chest almost heaving and long low whimpers escaping his throat while he chased both your highs.

“T-Taehyung…”

“Yes, baby?”

In the heat of the moment he licked up the side of your neck.

You dug your fingertips deeper into his toned back muscles.

Another fast hard thrust and your muscles claimed all control from you. Tensing tightly before releasing hard, heart beat racing, thighs aching and muscles pulsating tight and hard around his cock.

He let out a few grunts and his thrusts became slower and deeper.

“I-I’m gonna cum.” He whimpered.

Another slow deep thrust and he suddenly let out a deep exhale mixed with a low moan as his muscles finally gave in and you could feel him throbbing as he came.

He kissed you, exhausted but overwhelmed by pleasure. He let out another soft moan against your lips, still cumming.

After a short while he leaned back and carefully pulled out his sensitive cock.

He lied down on his side and you rolled over on to your side, moving close to him and he wrapped a strong arm around your waist, pulling you even closer and placing a soft kiss against your forehead.

Like this, you felt protected by him.

The energy along with his glow made him appear like the strongest most attractive man…

You snuggled up against his warm chest and heard his heart beating rapidly. You placed your hand over it soothingly and he smiled at you.

“Can you hear my heart?”

You nodded.

“It’s beating fast.” You pointed out.

“Because of you.” He chuckled and brushed his hand through your hair. “My love.”

His words made you blush.

You placed a soft kiss against his heart.

--

The engine of the aircraft roared and it increased in speed rapidly before taking off for the sky.

Your hand was tightly held by the man in the seat next to you.

On his ring finger were two rings… just like on yours.

The hand belonged to your husband.

And his hand belonged to you.

You were admiring the view of the city below becoming smaller and smaller for a while and then turned to your side to look lovingly at your husband.

First class, free upgrade thanks to your previous travels.

And now you were returning.

But this time without one chasing the other. This time instead, to spend the time lovingly with each other, experiencing what you did separately then, together now, on your honeymoon.

First class served chocolate covered strawberries, a treat you both eagerly devoured.

First stop Oslo, next stop France. The city Paris, to be exact, the city known as the city of romance…

What better place to celebrate your love than where it first bloomed and where it then could grow even wilder.

Taehyung raised your hand to his face and pressed his soft pink lips gently against your skin.

“It feels nice to finally fly with you.” He confessed, putting an emphasis on “with”.

“How did you actually fly?” You asked curious.

Taehyung leaned back against his seat.

“First I flew to Amsterdam, then I was going to fly to Copenhagen and change to a flight to Tallinn, but then you texted me saying you were suddenly going to Italy again and then to Prague and because my flight to Copenhagen was delayed I luckily saw that text and ran to the first counter I could find and asked them to book me a ticket to Prague instead but then you were heading to Norway and I was stuck in Prague because all flights were fully booked until the same night I finally reached you.”

“You really are crazy.” You chuckled and leaned your head on his shoulder.

“It was the most important trip of my life… the second I looked at the time to see that your flight had taken off, I just broke down and I knew it was too late... unless I did what I did.”

“I love you.” You said, tearing up.

“I love you too.” He kissed your head. “That’s why I married you!” He chuckled, returning to his initial mood.

Talking about that trip always made your heart feel heavy, but not in a bad way but in the overwhelming way, how this man loved you so much that he chased you across the world only to confess his love to you…

Saying yes to him was the easiest choice you had ever made, thanks to the hardest choice you ever had to make.