#edit removed the “metaphorically” it looked unusual to me

[c00kietin]

btw if I ever see tumblr users mention my name on a post, even if they don't @ me and I see it still, my ears perk up like a dog's.

[elenamiria]

Din Djarin, Paz Vizsla, Boba Fett x Reader - Kinktober Day 25

Cock Worship | Erotic Dancing | Overstimulation | Exhibitionism/Voyeurism 

Word Count: 3.5k  Warnings: fem reader, lapdancing, p in v sex, creampies, blowjobs, fingering, deepthroating, size difference/kink, multiple orgasms, pet names, voyeurism & exhibitionism, very lightly edited so there may be mistakes (oops)

Kinktober Day 25 (#1) «  Kinktober Masterlist »  Kinktober Day 26

Main Masterlist & Taggies: @legally-a-bastard​ , @katrynec​ , @mistermiraclee​ , @who-talks-first​

You should have known that sleemo wasn't going to let you get away with it. It was his own fault really. You had repeatedly told him the rules (No touching, no groping, pay up front) and he repeatedly broke them, you should have simply called security and let them deal with it but something about him pissed you off so much that you slipped a little spice into his drink. Not enough to kill him or seriously hurt him but enough so that you could steal his credits and his fancy holo-pad and that he couldn't stop you. It was then that you had security throw him out after grasping his chin tightly and whispering some nasty words to him that you would actually kill him if he ever showed up again. 

Life had gone on after that and you honestly almost forgot about it. That is until the bounty hunters started showing up. Now bounty hunters coming to a club to watch the dancers wasn't unusual and you being requested for a private dance wasn't unusual either. What was unusual was when the first bounty hunter tried to bring you in, though he wasn't the smartest. Trying to slip you a drugged drink which you insisted he drink first, with your assistance of course, and when he took a small sip you had crawled on his lap, pinning his hands down as you tipped every last drop down his throat. 

From there it was really a never ending stream, it had started slow but soon there was one you were fending off nearly every day. It honestly grew exhausting beating them with everything from a small knife coated with a weak poison that would knock them out tucked safely away in your panties, some you just offered money to while others forgot the bounty when you danced for them, one man you kicked in the nether regions so hard he left of his own free will figuring it wasn't worth it. Yes, you were pretty sure that this was going to be your new life - constantly on guard - though you weren't too upset considering all of the hunters paid you for a dance up front so you were raking in quite a few credits. But when three Mandalorians walked in you nearly fell off of the pole you were currently dancing on, you knew they had to be here for you. 

You had been managing just fine when it was single bounty hunters coming after you but three, this was going to be impossible. You continued your routine until the song finished and you quickly switched out to try to come up with a plan. They had sat right in front of the stage you had just been on and deciding to get ahead of the metaphorical speeder you approach them.

You sauntered up with all the false confidence of the world, one of them - the green one - shifted up in interest as you approached as he had been relaxed sprawling over the couch. The blue one tilted his head in your direction and the silver one stood still, you took a deep breath as you reached the trio.

"I assume you're here for me. I'll-"

"We are." Your jaw ticked slightly in annoyance as the silver one cut you off. You paused before opening your mouth to speak only to be cut off by him again, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

There was a chuckle from the green Mandalorian though it held little humor, "Let her speak Din."

Din, that must have been the silver one's name. You couldn't miss the way he bristled at the green one's tone, you knew there was no way to out muscle them but the dissonance between them now that was something you could use. Deciding to play up on it you turned your attention to green purring out, "Are you in charge?" 

Again you noticed how Din stiffened at your words and his helmet shook slightly when green replied, "Yes I am, such a smart girl."

You laughed and bit your lip lightly, "Well what I was going to say is I'll go with you three, no fighting, no problems, if you let me give you three a private dance."

"Do you think we're st-"

Din spoke only to be cut off once again by green, "Why would you do that? There's nothing in it for you."

You let out another breathy laugh before replying, "Might as well get my last kicks in before you three haul me to who knows where. Figure I should go out with a bang."

There was silence, greens helmet turned towards blue's and Din seemed to be staring straight into your soul. Green turned back to you with a short, "Fine."

Din launched up as he growled, "No. We aren't stupid, we're not going to play whatever little game this is."

You knew he was on to you but the other two seemed eager to go along with your little scheme. You offered him a soft smile and you strolled a tad closer to him, "Honestly, no tricks and besides am I really that much of a threat to you? I mean it's three to one, if I tried anything I don't think any of you would have any problems taking me down. I mean blue over here looks like he could eat me for breakfast."

On your last sentence you let your voice drop down slightly giving your words a double meaning that you knew blue caught as he shifted in his seat. Din stared at you and you shifted nervously until green spoke gruffly, "Let's go."

You blinked at them before tilting your head and motioning for them to follow you. You slid past the curtain leading to the private rooms and headed to the one closest to the back exit in case you actually managed to pull this off and needed a speedy getaway. You held the silky fabric blocking the view of the room to the side in order for the three men to shuffle into the room. As they got comfortable on the long couch in the front of the room you headed over to the holo-pad that controlled the music and selected a slow, sensual playlist. You hoisted yourself up onto the stage and slipped into your routine trying to ignore the fact that these were bounty hunters here for you. 

You paused when you noticed that the green one had taken his helmet off and faltered as you saw his roguish good looks. He had slid his legs open and a smirk covered his brown face as a gloved hand patted his thigh causing you to stumble. Your eyed him up and down as you slowly climbed down from the stage. Biting your lip you sauntered over to him swaying with the music, you turned and lowered so your ass brushed his thighs. 

Spinning back to face him you swiveled your hips around before placing one leg next to his hip, you trailed your fingers down your leg and smirked as his brown eyes followed your movement. You straightened back up before dropping into a squat and your hands slid up his legs to his thighs. He twitched slightly and one of his hands grasped yours. Lowering yourself to your knees you tilted your head at him with a seductive glance. He guided your hand to his upper thigh and you could tell he was hardening from the way his codpiece moved. You stared up at him you lowly questioned, "What would you like bounty hunter? I'll give you whatever you need."

"Boba. call me Boba and I think you'd look a whole lot prettier with something in your mouth pretty girl." As he spoke he worked on pulling off his codpiece and shifting his pants down in order to pull out his hard cock. You smiled up at him, while you would love to claim you were just doing this to get out of the bounty there was part of you that knew there was something drawing you to Boba and if you had given him a private dance under any other circumstance it would have ended much the same way.

Din let out a discontented grunt as you slipped Boba's hard length into your mouth sliding him as deep as he could go without choking you. Boba moaned his hand grasping the back of your neck as you sucked on his cock, bobbing your head up and down. Your hands moved to wrap around the part of him that you couldn't take while your other hand slipped to play with his balls. You let yourself look up at him doe eyed and slid him just far enough into your mouth that you choked lightly and your eyes watered. Boba's hips bucked as his nostrils flared. When you repeated the motion he groaned before squeezing your neck and pulling you off of his cock. Growling he stroked the back of your neck whispering, "Can I fuck you pretty girl?"

You nodded as you pulled off your already flimsy underwear and clambered onto his lap eagerly. Your hand grasped his cock as you slid his tip back and forth through your wet folds, the blowjob was sexier than you had anticipated and you were aching for stimulation. Boba's hands grasped your hips and you locked eyes as you sunk onto his length. Your walls stretched around him as you slid to his hilt let out a small whimper. Brown eyes gleamed as his hands tightened their grip and he snarled, "I wanna hear you screaming my name, pretty girl."

That was the warning you got before his hips were lifting off the seat to bounce you on his lap causing a startled moan to escape your body. Your jaw dropped as Boba absolutely pounded into you, he nuzzled into your neck pressing soft kisses and nips to the skin there. Your eyes darted to the other two Mandalorians in the room the blue one closest to you was unabashedly watching, a hand resting on his crotch his cod piece having been removed, and Din was pointedly staring at the empty stage. 

Boba grasped your chin to turn your face back to him as he pulled away from your neck, your hands grabbed at his shoulders as his cock slid in and out of you. Your walls fluttered around him as he held your gaze and he groaned at your expression, "That's it, just like that pretty girl. Do you have the implant?"

"I'm safe." You panted out in response. You never liked the names that other patrons had called you but as Boba praised you your cunt clenched around him. He moaned again and his pace sped up, his cock slamming up into you as you cried out his name your walls clinging to him desperately. Your fingers dug into him as you approached your peak but Boba beat you too it as his hips slowed and stuttered as hot cum painted your walls. Squeezing around him you moaned and rocked your hips back and forth slowly to help him ride out his orgasm. Boba steadied your hips on his as he cooed out, "Such a good girl."

Your clenched yet again at his words as you whimpered slightly, another hand grasped your arm and your head turned to land on the blue Mandalorian next you. Dragging your eyes down his body you landed on his impressive length which he had been desperately stroking. Climbing off of Boba's lap with a soft whine you walked in front of the big blue man. His hands slid to your sides, tracing and soothing down your waist and hips. His big palms squeezed at your side and you bit your lip before murmuring, "Will you make me cum Mandalorian?"

He grunted and tugged you forward in between his legs, "Call me Paz. Think you can handle me mesh'la?"

Din let out another irritated noise as Paz gave out his name, his head turned away from you. Paz's gloved hand slid to your wet cunt, slipping two fingers into your folds and thumbing at your clit. Mewling at the intrusion you clenched around his big fingers as he pumped softly, you appreciated the prep as his cock was truly bigger than you had ever taken - proportional to the man it belonged to. Fingers stretched you out, scissoring and curling within your depths, and you clung to his shoulders as short cries flew from your mouth.  Your pussy clenched hard and Paz pulled his fingers from your depths as he nudged your legs apart with one of his knees, "When you cum mesh'la it's going to be on my cock."

You nodded and parted your legs to clamber onto his lap. He lined himself up with you and you trembled in anticipation as his head slowly pushed through your folds. As you sunk onto his cock you couldn't hold back the whimpers as he stretched you out further than Boba had. Tears filled your eyes as he eased you down onto his cock. Paz cooed, his thumbs massaging your lower back gently as his hips arched upwards, pushing into you and filling you to the brim. You whimpered out his name, pussy spasming hard as tears started slipping down your face. Paz started a slow pace pulling out and then pushing in deeper than he had been, "Kriff mesh'la this pussy is perfect, taking me so well. So good for me."

Before you knew what was happening you Paz had sped up and one of his fingers was toying with your clit. A light pinch to your clit had you unraveling completely. Your orgasm had you seeing white as your walls clenched around the length inside of you and your back arched hard, pressing your stomach against Paz. He growled out as his fingers sped up amping your pleasure to the next level and your muscles tensed. The tears that had trickled down your face increased to a steady stream as you wailed his name. 

Paz looped his arms around your waist and suddenly he was standing. You wrapped your legs around his waist with a squeal as he adjusted to grab under your knees just before his hips pumped forward and your hips forcefully bounced against his. The obscene noises filled the air as he bottomed out within you on every thrust.  He turned while still holding you so Boba and Din could watch as he destroyed your tight little cunt. You pulled yourself flush to him as your arms wrapped around his shoulders while he pounded into you. Your whimpers and moans of his name flew through his helmet to reach his ears unfiltered as your face buried in his clothed neck. 

His hips shifted slightly and he hit a super sensitive spot deep within you causing you to let out a loud cry of his name. This pushed him into orgasm as his cock twitched within you and as his hips continued to pump into his cum spilled into you. Your own walls clenched and fluttered around him as an unexpected orgasm swept over you. Head flying back you cried out Paz's name over and over again as your walls milked his length of every last drop of cum. Your breathing was coming out in harsh pants and you could tell Paz was similarly affected as his chest expanded against yours. Your walls continued to tremble and flutter around him as the two of you came down, you nuzzling into his neck as your body shook against him.

In a very gentle move he lowered each of your legs to the ground, keeping a firm arm wrapped  around your waist - without which you wouldn't have remained standing. He held you softly against him until you regained feeling in your wobbly legs and you took a tentative step. His hand found your hand to squeeze affectionately as he muttered, "Thank you mesh'la."

You smiled at him before you turned your head to the grumpy silver Mandalorian who was still pointedly looking away from the two of you. Boba, on the other hand, had been unabashedly watching and was palming at his cock which had hardened again solely from watching you be ravished. You stumbled, you had no illusions about how graceful you were after being totally wrecked by Paz’s massive cock, over to Din as you had noticed a very prominent bulge at the front of his pants. Slipping to your knees you rested your hands on his lower thighs as you looked up at him.

"That looks awfully painful Din, would you like some help with that?" There was silence for several long moments and you thought he was going to put an end to this whole affair and put you in binders on the spot. You were absolutely shocked when he finally grunted and then nodded his head. 

You delighted in trailing your hands up his thighs and feeling how they tensed under your hands. It was easy to slip his cock and balls out of his pants without a cod piece in the way, you smiled up at him as you stroked him softly, "I just wanna make you feel good, that's all."

With that you sucked him into your mouth, allowing your spit to coat him thoroughly as you eagerly bobbed your head. Your spit dripped down his length as you hollowed your cheeks around him and Din's hand cupped your face as you slid him further into your mouth. Your eyes glanced up at him to see his helmet tilting back and you allowed your eyes to slide shut as you opened your throat to him, to focus on pleasuring Din. You gently eased yourself down to take majority of his length, feeling his cock sliding into your throat. Pausing for a moment to adjust and allow yourself to calm your breathing as you slowly eased your head up and down. Din swore and his gloved hand moved to the back of your head, grabbing hard as he spoke, "Shit cyare, I'm gonna cum. Do you want me to cum down your throat?"

You nodded best you could with a cock stuffed down your throat and you cupped his balls lightly. That was enough for him and his hips bucked slightly causing you to gag lightly before his cum was slipping down your throat. You swallowed lightly, fighting back the urge to choke as you worked him through his orgasm. As Din was sure he had shot all of his load into your waiting throat he slowly urged your head back off of his length. Your eyes slid up to his helmet as you pulled off of him and then your tongue dipped out to clean off his tip and shaft of any cum you hadn't been able to swallow. Din swore again as you pulled back and shakily sat of the ground, exhausted from the three men before you. 

There was another bout of silence before Boba spoke again, "It seems a downright shame to bring you to that sleemo now that we've gotten to know you."

You looked at Boba shocked, the man looked as relaxed as he had before. His cock tucked away and his arms spread over the back of the couch. He shot you a smirk as he offered, "What do you say to a little compromise. We get to come back, whenever we want - whether individually or together, and you give us a private dance whenever we'd like."

You couldn't help but let a smirk cover your own face as you saucily asked, "Are you blackmailing me Boba?"

He laughed, "C'mon pretty girl, I think we all know how much you enjoyed that. We'll be on our merry way and you can keep doing whatever it was you were doing to fend off the other hunters, as long as it's not this."

You shook your head, "No, I usually just sedate them somehow. I've never done this with a patron before."

This time it was Paz talking, "Good. Let's keep it that way mesh'la. Only us."

The two of them rose, Boba popping his helmet back onto his head as he headed towards the hallway back to the main area and Paz followed after. Din was the last to rise, situating himself before rising above you and offering his hand. You took it and he hauled you to your feet, hand holding yours for just a moment longer. 

As he stared at you you were positive that he was going to change his mind and bring you in but instead his hand rose to stroke your cheek. Rumbling out, "You tell no one of this. And like they said, only we get to touch you like that cyar'ika. Only us."

You nodded up at him and he stood for a second more before turning away to follow the other two out. You had to gather yourself as you walked over to collect your discarded panties and to come to grips of what just happened. You couldn't remember a time when you had ever been that thoroughly fucked and a smile covered your face as you hoped the three Mandalorians would come back soon.

[pynkhues]

Advice on what to do when you realise you started a scene in the wrong place and don't know what the right place is, please?

Ah, that’s a tricky one, anon! 

Scenes can be hard to wrangle at the best of times because they have a lot to do – both individually and collectively – in terms of pacing, character, settings, tone-setting or re-setting, among many other things, and honestly often the hardest thing can be working out the parameters for what that looks like. The fact that you’ve identified what you’ve written isn’t the right spot (even if you’re not quite sure what is just yet), is amazing and truly half the battle when it comes to editing and re-writing, so well done! 

My suggestion would be to ask yourself what the intent of the scene is. In asking yourself that, have a conversation with your story and your characters. Ask:  

What do you want the scene to do? 

How do you want the scene to move the characters and the plot? And are you moving them forwards, sideways or backwards?

What does this scene reveal to the readers?

And what’s the main thing you would like the reader to take away from the scene? 

None of the answers to these things have to be big! Sometimes the only thing you want a reader to take away from a scene is a feeling, or a deeper understanding of a character. Sometimes the scene only moves the plot incrementally (although every scene should move your story in some way), because the focus is perhaps more on themes or building a tone or an atmosphere. 

Sometimes these things happen naturally too and you don’t need to think so specifically about them, but if you’re stuck, I do find that they’re good ones to percolate on. After all, once you’ve answered them, you should have a pretty firm idea of what your scene actually is, which should in turn give you some sturdy parameters around what you need to do.  

So, now that you know what the intent of the scene is, where could you start?

There’s no right or wrong place to start a scene, and there is such a diversity in the ways that you can do it, that it’s sort of hard to make real suggestions on how to proceed (particularly without knowing the details of your story specifically). That said, where and how you start it is going to have a big impact on what the reader gets out of the scene, and so being able to answer those questions above can help you to really work out what’s going to be the most punchy, effective start.

Again, there are a whole lot of ways to do this, but I thought I’d explore a few here that might help you get your scene going. I’ve even included some exercises, because apparently I miss teaching creative writing that much, haha.

You could start:

1. As Close to the Action as Possible.

This is one of the most common pieces of writing advice that gets thrown around, and I both agree with it and disagree with it. I think starting close to the action or the drama of a scene can make for an excellent hook, particularly if the scene is thrilling or especially dramatic, but it’s not always appropriate. 

It can be a great exercise though when you’re unsure of a scene!

In that sense, look at your intent, how you want the characters to move, and forget about any establishing work for a minute. Try starting literally as close to the drama or conflict as possible.

Say it’s a scene where two characters kiss for the first time. Try and start the scene with the kiss. Does it work? Probably not, because there’s not enough build up to it. From there though, you can start to reverse engineer it and work backwards until you find your scene’s natural starting point.

Or perhaps it’s a scene where a character gets thrown through a window! Is it a surprise for the character too? Well, then it might work best to actually just start with that, because too much beforehand would feel superfluous to the point of the scene, which is, well, a character getting thrown through a window.

This is actually something I did in the second scene of Blue Moon where Ruby and Beth are watching Ruby’s mother at her father’s wake. Originally, there was a lot more set-up, and I felt that it weighed the scene down and removed some of the momentum, particularly because the intent of the scene was not the wake, but to show that Ruby didn’t know how to comfort her mother while grieving her father herself.

I cut it all out and even then, I thought I’d write a shorter intro, but when I re-read it, I actually really liked the sort of cut effect of Ruby taking her father’s hand in the first scene and then Beth telling her to talk to her mother in the second.

2. With the World You’re Leaving Behind.

Harry Potter is a really good example of this. Frequently the scenes don’t start anywhere close to the action or drama – Rowling’s style instead typically centres on focusing on something specific and then using that as an entry point into a moment that might not actually happen for a little while. 

Think of the opening scene for example, which doesn’t start even remotely close to the action/drama of the scene - that would be Hagrid arriving with Harry. Instead, it starts with Mr Dursley’s Very Normal Life. In fact, there are six paragraphs before Mr. Dursley even notices anything unusual - that being a cat reading a map. In this particular scene, this method is used to create a juxtaposition between the mundane and the magical, and to be an entry point for readers into the unusualness of the world of Harry Potter. 

She doesn’t just use it in this opening though. She regularly uses this technique to build atmosphere and ‘otherness’ across the series.

You can actually do this one as a bit of an exercise too if you like!

Think of the moment of change in your scene. When does the environment shift to build towards the action? What happens before that shift?

Let’s go back to our kissing example! The world we’re leaving behind here is one before intimacy, so it’s a significant change in the dynamic between characters and the overall plot. So think about what that means and what that looks like. Has the air crackled with their UST? Has one character been oblivious to the other’s feelings, making the kiss a moment of revealation that explodes their world open? Does one character not feel the same way – making the before a space of possibility, and the after space a place of lost possibility or rejection?

Think about what happens before and after the action at the heart of the scene, and how the juxtaposition of that can bring the scene’s purpose home.

3. With the Central Idea of the Scene.

I do this a lot, haha.

It’s one of my favourite ways to write a scene, and sometimes I’ll do it extremely literally, and other times less so. You can also do it via dialogue (in the pirate au, for instance, one scene starts with Annie telling Beth about lambskin condoms, a seemingly innocuous, fun starting point, but actually a pretty major signpost to the scene’s purpose overall, as the intent is realised in Annie later being shamed for having a child out of wedlock), by an image or metaphor (perhaps a scene about a character having a great realisation starts with them seeing a bright light, or alternatively, a scene about a character misinterpreting something might start with them trying and failing to untangle a necklace chain), or an emphasis on a place (Beth sitting in the loading bay looking at Fine and Frugal in 1.01 before the girls rob it).

This can be a great way of teasing out your scene overall before you actually unpack it.

So again, try it out! Think about the pivotal moment in your scene, however big or small, and try thinking about what you might encompass it. Let’s go with our first kiss again as an example. Maybe the scene could start with a character putting on lipstick, drawing attention to their lips. Maybe it could start with them texting their friend, wondering if the other character even feels the same way, maybe it starts with them trying to fluff the couch cushions they later crush beneath their body during a make out.

Think about what might foreshadow your pivotal moment, and what might underline the intent of your scene.

4. With a Focus on Tone and Atmosphere

Some people might disagree with me, but I really think that tone setting is one of the most important things in writing, and that goes for the overall tone of the story, but also for individual scenes. It’s what guides your reader to the feeling that you want them to take, and really informs the way your story builds. So while you’re thinking of ways to start, why not think of the atmosphere of your scene? Think about the way the mood builds and shifts and how you want the reader to feel within that.

In my story, Need a Little Time, I did this in both scenes, but particularly the second, which started with Rio in Rhea’s kitchen, remembering being in Beth’s.

It’s the smell that does it – cinnamon sugar and dark coffee and box macaroni cheese – and he blinks and he ain’t in Rhea’s kitchen anymore, he’s in her’s, staring at her kids’ artwork, pinned with cheap, ugly magnets to the fridge, cardboard boxes of cardboard meals scattered over her kitchen island, and then her, smiling, face open and unsure in that way she ain’t ever, and him, cunt struck and fuck dumb, smiling back.

His chest aches.

His fingers twitch.  

This (hopefully, haha) gives the reader a sense of Rio’s headspace and the fact that despite his best efforts, he’s really, really not over Beth, but also links back to the softness of him then (cinnamon sugar, box macaroni, kids artwork) and the harshness and woundedness of him now (dark coffee, cheap, ugly magnets, harsh words like ‘cunt’ and ‘fuck’, fingers twitching). It functions as a tone setter and a memory box, but it also exists to serve the purpose of the scene overall, which is Rio’s complex emotions in finding out that Beth has gotten close to Rhea in his absence.

So! Think about your scene and it’s purpose. What do you think the tone or the atmosphere is? If you’re not sure, think instead of the emotion within it. What are your characters feeling? And how do you want your reader to feel? Once you know that, think of imagery or objects or sensory detail that might build that.

Let’s have a look at our kissing example again! Let’s say it’s a first kiss between two people who really love each other and just haven’t confessed their feelings yet. What would the tone of that scene be? Well, probably one of possibility, vulnerability, intimacy. What imagery goes with that? A new bud on an old plant maybe? Clean, fresh smells like soap or newly cut grass, skin still pink from the wind outside. Cold hands warmed between somebody else’s. The sound of a familiar voice. Maybe a kettle boiling, or a warm meal about to be forgotten.

5. With a Bookend

Bookending scenes is another favourite of mine, haha, both to write and to read. Bookending scenes is a way of starting with a concept and then finishing the scene by circling back to the concept but looking at it in a slightly different way.

This is technically two scenes, but since I still have it open from the last point, I’m going to use it as an example again, haha. Need a Little Time starts with Rio remembering his mother telling him that if you stay away too long, people and circumstances change in your absence:  

It was something his mother had said to him once – drunk off cheap merlot and good company at the party after his little cousin’s baptism – her long fingers clamped around his chin.

“That’s the thing with havin’ kids,” she’d hummed, smoothing her touch at his clean-shaven cheek. “You wait too long to see them, they’ve done a whole lot of growin’ without you. Not always the good type either.”

This is revisited directly in the scene later where Rio thinks about how much Marcus has grown and changed since he’s been gone, but it’s actually bookended at the end of the second scene too:

“She said you guys used to talk a little at the - - I mean. Her daughter and Marcus knew each other.”

And it’s just like that he’s back on that park bench, Elizabeth sitting a foot away, one of those pinched, cagey looks on her face she’d get when she thought they were being watched, like anyone looked at her and thought anything except some variation of mama, like that part of her costume ever fuckin’ tore, and he thinks his mom was right about this too.

You wait too long to see someone, who knows what they do while you’re gone.

In this, Rio’s grown to understand that his mother’s words are more than just about parenthood, and that things don’t pause while you’re away. Everyone has the capacity to change.

So bookending a scene or a story can be a great way of marking growth of a character, or making changing circumstances clear.

You could also use a visual metaphor. Perhaps a character’s at the end of her rope, and she’s shopping, and is trying to get one of the last punnets of strawberries, but gets frazzled and distracted by her children, and turns around at the end of the scene and the strawberries are gone. This would be a clear symbol of her losing what little she has, and how much more she’s lost during the scene.

So, the last exercise, haha. Think again about the intent of your scene, and how you might like to frame it. With that framework, is there an image or a thought that could symbolise the growth across the course of the scene?

Let’s look at our kissing example! You could start the scene with her wondering what it might be like to kiss him, and bookending it with her no longer having to wonder. You could start it with him cooking a meal, and then returning to it and laughing and not caring about it being cold at the end of the scene. You could start with her bemoaning not being able to get something on a crossword to a friend, and finish the scene with him filling in the last answer as a sign of their wholeness together.

Again, these are all just suggestions and ways to tease out scene starters when you’re struggling to find the right spot. I hope it’s a help, and if anyone else has suggestions for anon to try out, I’d love to hear them too! :-)

[raggedyblue]

WILLIAM, Sherlock,Scott, OF BASKERVILLE

Accepting the fact that Sherlock BBC is, among other things, a summa and reworking of all (let's say many because all would be honestly impossible) the previous adaptations of Doyle's creature, we cannot ignore THE NAME OF THE ROSE. Defined here (x) brilliantly a medieval AU because in other way it really couldn’t be done, considering that being a novel it is indeed a work of fiction (fiction). Furthermore, we can’t ignore how Eco was a fan of the sleuth, he wrote also essays about him and also edited a collection of pieces by various authors about the deductive method of Sherlock Holmes. The book is  THE SIGN OF THREE, and this should already get  our attention and I think that the Moffits have paid some attention to the Italian scholar (the book is about logic and semiotics and that are not exactly my cup of tea, so I will avoid talking about it further so as not making  me more ridiculous than it normally does, but you have to know that it exists). This is to say that probably Eco himself wouldn’t be too offended by being placed among fan fiction writers. But even this in the end is totally irrelevant, because as he himself says, once a book is complete, the author disappears, and the relationship that is created is between the reader and the work. The reader is free and obliged to draw his interpretations.

Obviously THE NAME OF THE ROSE is much more than a medieval transposition of Sherlock Holmes, it is a treatise on theology, philosophy and semiotics. A compendium of medieval history and an allegory of Italy in the 1970s, a set of puzzles. The readings that can be made of the book are many and this was precisely the intention of the author.

But obviously what interests us is Sherlock Holmes (always).

The protagonist of the book is called Guglielmo/William of Baskerville. The names are important, and this is a lesson that the Moffits have learned well. Stat rosa pristina nomina, nomina nuda tenemus. We may never come to know the true essence of things, the truth maybe  is unknowable, but at least we have the names and possess their knowledge. William  (don’t ring a bell?) as  William of Ockham . There's a lot of Ockham in Holmes's method. Occam's Razor for which for the solution of a problem the simplest solution must be applied among the existing ones, it is easily applicable to the Holmesian method. Once the impossible has been eliminated (cut off like a razor) the improbable (the complicated, implausible and unlikely solutions), even if unlikely, what remains, must be the truth. And the search of truth is a constant throughout the book, the truth about the crimes of the Abbey, but above all about the Truth as an absolute concept. A truth that, as William says, is liberty (THOB), but which escapes to the point at the end we/Adso/William are doubting its existence as an absolute concept. The William in the book is blatantly Sherlockian. English in the first place, higher than the norm, but which appears even higher as he’s very thin. He has a sharp and slightly hooked nose, his face is elongated with an expression that is both acute and alert. Very agile, endowed with inexhaustible energy in moments of activity, which alternated with others of complete immobility. We see him several times completely lost in his thoughts, with his eyes closed and his mouth following inaudible speeches. He is described  as being able to remain completely still on his bed, with vacant and silent eyes for long periods. Who describes him to us wonders if by chance it was not possible that this state was induced by mysterious substances, and at least once we see Guglielmo chewing mysterious leaves that help him to think. Easily inclined to give up sleep and food if the case dictates.

He has an extraordinary delicacy of touch if necessary. He is a man capable of fantasizing about a future in which boats will be faster and will go without the strength of men or sailing, a world in which flying and submarine vehicles will exist, because the things that are not there yet are not said not there will be. I would venture, not even that much, and call him a man out of his time. 

A normally mild man, he can become brusque and often, to bring an interrogation to a successful end, he takes advantage of a moment of weakness for the interrogated. This is one of those traits that I don't remember being canonical but that we certainly see in Sherlock BBC.

At talking about him is his young disciple, his blogger scribe. All we know of William and the affairs of the Abbey we know thanks to a manuscript that speaks of a manuscript which is then the manuscript of William's disciple. How many holmesian pastiche use the expedient of the rediscovered manuscript? I lost the calculation. This young disciple is called wADSOn, he looks to his teacher with affection and unspeakable wonder, and with his observations that seem irrelevant leads  Guglielmo on the way to solution (light conductor). He admits that once his master gives an explanation of his deductions, everything seems so clear that he regrets not having understud it alone. The function of Aso from the poetic point of view is to put a distance between the author and what is narrated. It is not the author who writes the story, but a young Benedictine from the 1300s. The narrator is young and still unaware and amazed at the things of the world, so when he tells about them he doesn't do it in a didactic tone, but as if it were something new for he as it is for us. Adso records events without completely understanding them, and this helps the less educated reader (I believe 98%) to navigate between these complex pages. If there is something he doesn't understand, it is probably something that Adso did not understud before him. This kind of trick is the same one used by Doyle that through Watson allows us to understand how the mind of Holmes works, step by step. This does not mean that wADSOn is stupid, on the contrary, only that he is learning. It doesn't even seem a coincidence that William is a monk. A man who has chosen to dedicate himself to the intellect, repressing and suppressing everything that is carnal. Adso is young, still impulsive and inexperienced, and will yield to the temptations of the flesh (once only).

A curious feature of Guglielmo is that, having now at least fifty years and presumably being presbyopic, he uses glasses, an unusual object for the time. It could be nothing but I like to read it a reference to Doyle as an ophtalmologist. And in a narrative space  the glasses are lost and the monk finds himself unable to read. We can say that this is a moment in which he sees, but can't observe. William reads the signs of reality to look for possible truths. In the first moment when we meet him he deduces the existence of a horse from simple signs left in the woods, he is actually a detective. But in his life he was also an Inquisitor, a position he left. We see him in the book confronting an inquisitor Bernardo Gui and we see the difference in attitude. The inquisitor is more interested in punishing the defendants, while Guglielmo wants to discover the culprits, "unraveling a beautiful and tangled skein". The same attitude that we see in Holmes that always looks a little beyond what the police do  and absolute justice does has more value than secular justice. In his search for truth, Guglielmo says that no hypothesis, even if extraordinary, should be overlooked. He himself tells that he aligns many elements that apparently have no connection and makes assumptions about them. But to arrive at a solution, he has to pretend many hypotheses, some so absurd that he is ashamed to tell them. The elimination of the impossible by staging. This sounds a lot like MInd Theater, doesn't it? Among the other references to the Canon, the most obvious is the use of a burned plant that creates visions. There is also a moment in which Guglielmo states that God must be good if he generated nature. Holmes will instead say that nature, its beauty (a rose!) Is proof of the existence of God (BRUC). The story of the novel unfolds inside an Abbey on the top of a hill. Inside the walls, barely contained, overlooking the rocks there is a construction called the Aedificium. It is divided into three parts. There is the Kitchen, the Scriptorium and the Library. An absolutely symbolic place. The kitchen is the body, it satisfies the needs, it prepares food but it is also the place where a carnal congress is consumed (food / sex metaphor). The Scriptorium is the space of intellect, of knowledge. The Library instead is conceived as a labyrinth, a place where knowledge is kept, but at the same time it is made inaccessible. Something very similar to the unconscious, which in the BBC Sherlock we see buried under the ground, while here it stands out against the sky (like a plane maybe). The curious thing is the shape of the building, built on a rigid symbolic and mathematical basis, it looks like this:

We find a similar shape both in the Mind Palace (Moriarty's cell and probably operating theater) and in Baskerville.

In the Library the books that are the sum of human, licit and illicit knowledge are jealously guarded, in fact the librarian reserves the right to keep some of them hidden. A structure that seems very similar to the human psyche, to the eternal struggle between conscious and unconscious thought, between memories and removed that in BBC Sherlock seems to be recurrent. The relationship between master and disciple is among the most platonic and there seems to be no doubt in this regard. Adso loves Guglielmo, loves his intellect but also his features, he argues in the purest way (not that the admiration imbued with sexuality cannot be pure, this is a heavy Catholic heritage from which we have not yet freed ourselves, but it is a meta for another time), but also he need to clarify unnecessarily  the concept and in later life he will confess to let the gaze linger longer on the young novices.

Guglielmo on his part is never if not paternal regard to Adso. Their relationship, however, seems weaker than that between the two original characters that inspired them, but that was probably not the point of the novel. This doesn't mean that the issue of homosexuality is not treated. If we want we can also say that all the dead involved had had homosexual relations and all had somehow had had to do with a forbidden book. The story takes place inside a convent, the characters involved are all men, apart from an external exception, feminine, which will seduce Adso, even if this fact is susceptible to interpretative doubts. Being a faithful chronicle of the times, homosexual relations are doomed, but after all even heterosexual ones it's just condoned. We are talking about friars. But if heterosexual relations are tolerated, they are part of heterodoxy, homosexual ones are decidedly condemned, like heretics. It is no wonder that in so many heresies sodomy is an integral part. It falls within the fear and condemnation of the different, the different is a heretic, the homosexual is different, homosexuality is heresy. An easy syllogism. In the name of the Rose the feminine is ephemeral. There is this unique beautiful girl with whom Adso will be joining the same night he had previously had an apparently innocent encounter with a friar. We see she only for a fleeting moment. The feminine seems to be an allegory of all that is seductive. Devilishly seductive because we are among men for whom the pleasures of the flesh are a weakness. 

Friar Ubertino, the one with whom Adso meets before giving in to the girl's flattery, speaks with desire of the forms of the virgin Mary, but he does so by holding the young Adso to himself. Every time a friar, which will then be indulged in homosexual pleasures, is described to us,  a feminine characteristic is added to him. The feminine is not something that exists in this context, but desire, love, jealousy, in its best and worst aspects, yes. And all this is represented, but only allegorically by the feminine. Besides, Adso will tell about the girl that he didn't even know her name. One wonders if he didn't know it or maybe he just didn't dare to name it. The debate between orthodoxy and heresy runs through the whole book. It is a mainstay. And if under a pure textual meaning we can read an other, political, one (the Italian Brigate Rosse as heretics) a further level of reading is possible, halfway between the subtext and the surface. Then again the relationship between homosexuality and heresy. And heretics were burned. Adso tells that he experienced a state similar to ecstasy in witnessing the burning of an heretic, an ecstasy that reminds him the fleshly one that he will then experience firsthand. A connection that amazes the friar himself, but that tells us a lot about the real nature of what he lived.

Guglielmo's antagonist is an old blind man who will eventually lead to the destruction of the Library. Their relationship is love and hate, admiration and repulsion. Difficult not to see the Moriaty / Holmes relationship. Towards the end we see the same old man in the middle of the Library which is actually a labyrinth, a labyrinth that is described as a web. Throughout the book the two tease, provoke themselves, do a dance that has a lot of seduction. All caused by a book that the old man wanted to keep secret and when this was no longer possible the Library ended up on fire before the water managed to extinguish its flames. "Guglielmo wept". (water/emotions). The theme of the book is the  laughter. It refers to a hypothetical lost Aristotle's book concerning the Comedy. In short the meaning of the book is that laughter has its own dignity, its cognitive value. Comedy, the comedian, saying things differently, ridiculing them, forces us to look at them more carefully, and we end up seeing the hidden truth. At the same time, even the most fearful things, when turned into comedy, lose their terrifying power. Laughter free from fear (and it is the main reason why it is feared) The thought is immediately at every moment when John and Sherlock are represented as homosexuals in BBC Sherlock. These are always jokes, ridiculous moments. But as we are told in the fictitious book in The Name of the Rose, laughter conceals the truth. A book in a book that talks about books, because, it is repeated several times, all books speak of other books, each book is a reference to a previous book and from obvious books it is possible to arrive at occult books. As if to say that to understand a book it is enough to have another one. London AZ for Sherlock and our still unknown book. Unknown probably because not unique. A set of books (code booKs), but just because Sherlock Holmes has left the sphere of books and has expanded himself into other media. The Name of the Rose is a book about books, a complex labyrinth of intertextual quotations, but also a use manual of books. The books are something that involves the author and the text in the first place, but once it's finished,  the relationship is the one that is established between the reader and the text. And the texts are meant to be interpreted. "Books are not meant to be believed but to be subjected to investigation. In front of a book we must not ask ourselves what it says, but what it means ... the letter must be discussed even if the supersense remains good. " *I humbly apologize but I don't have a reference text in English, so this is a horrid, as usual for me, translation of the perfect Eco's Italian  (sooner or later I will learn English .... maybe when I won't lose so much time on a certain author ;-P) A licence for those like us who want to go beyond the visible, the admission that a text is more of what appears, which is susceptible to generate always different readings without ever running itself out completely. And this is true for some books more than for others, because in some the subtext presses towards the surface, barely contained by metaphors, mirrors and allegories. Since ancient times methods for expressing truth. Metaphors, puzzles, word games, which sometimes seem put in a text out of pure delight, often hide truths that want to be kept silent, for various reasons, to most people. A book on books that talk about books hidden in books, books that hide the truth under layers of words. A book about a medieval Sherlock Holmes and rarely the universe is so lazy.

@sarahthecoat @possiblyimbiassed @gosherlocked @ebaeschnbliah @sagestreet

[sixmorningsafter]

76 Theses

Oh hey there, Gabi. Long time no see. Hope your summer is going well as if I don’t already know because I follow you on Instagram, and I hope your med school prep isn’t destroying you I’m going to grad school in the fall, so girl I can only imagine. EDIT: GIRL HOW DID YOU POST A CHAPTER TWO DAYS BEFORE YOU MOVED AND STARTED OVER IN ANOTHER PLACE FOR FREAKIN’ MED SCHOOL

LMAOOOO FWIW I didn’t start over, I literally moved like 30 minutes away (and my family did a solid 75% of the work because what are big over-involved Puerto Rican families for). Summer was GLORIOUS. And 6 months ago, loooooool, I’M THE WORST. But you’re the best. This review is the best. Hope you’re crushing grad school (I know you are instinctively but I also know you are because I’ve talked to you about it and despite your humble nonsense I can tell you’re killin’ it). ANYWAY, diving on in to this literary masterpiece of a review:

Anyways, let me start by saying, literally every time you post a new chapter, I think “I’m ready, let’s go”. But literally, every time I read a new chapter, I am not ready, and you slay me every single freakin’ time. Dude, I have no clue how you do it, but every time, I die. Any more deaths, and I’d be a freakin’ Winchester.

A/N: looooool that’s incredible because every time I post a new chapter I think ‘this is it, this is where everyone realizes I don’t actually know how to write, it’s been fun’. But in all seriousness, girl, the fact that you make a point to send reviews after every chapter and go into detail like this is just–like honestly it’s reason enough to crank out 30K words of my bullshit. Not even kidding. If literally no one but you read this story I’d still write it because getting your hilarious whip-smart reviews are life. It’s so appreciated. It’s so appreciated.  

Off the bat, while you may believe this is a “filler” chapter, it is a damn good filler I wish I could write filler chapters as nicely and uniquely wtf. If you meant filler as in full of wonderful delightfulness, then yas girl this is the filler-est of filler chapters. Because if you meant this is some fluff piece that has nothing of substance, if you thought for once second that we aren’t thriving off the Bamon drama of the Steroline giggles, we’d all have to chase you out of town good thing you’re already moving.

This chapter is amazing, and on a personal spiritual level, I still can not get over your similes. I know that sounds silly and amateur, but while you’re hella awesome at metaphors, your similes, dude, are unique af, and every single time I write something that barely resembles something you’ve written, I’m staring at my screen like what the actual fuck is the nonsense? Sooooo, rest assured, this chapter is awesome (to be explained in great detail), and you’re awesome too (also to be explained in greater detail).

LMAOOOOO CASSIE I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT A FUCKING SIMILE WAS HELP ME WHY AM I HERE. But DUDE, I actually have some words to say about this, the first ones being - GAH. Thanks so, so much love. I’m beaming. The second ones being - I ALWAYS think they’re weird when I write them. Seriously. Like that feeling you said you get when you try getting creative with a description is the exact same one I get -ROLL WITH IT. I had to learn that by just sucking it up and posting shit with unusual descriptions and then seeing what kind of feedback I got for it (which tbh makes it sound like I’ve been doing it for a while lololol but I actually just recently started challenging myself to get more creative with my descriptions for things). It actually came from constantly reading writing with cool imagery (Six of Crows was a great one!) and realizing that they never fell back on tired/common metaphors. They always used something unique (Kaz’s voice being like dry leaves scattering across pavement or w/e? Lmao you know how I felt about the constant descriptions of Kaz’s voice but I loved that one). I’m clearly nowhere near that level but I’ve definitely taken to stopping a few times while writing and going, ‘Wait. This is a chance to come up with something cool. Slow down. Do better.’ Cause tbh I have no instinct for it. I don’t think in creative metaphors or similes or whatever. But if I labor over it for a minute or two I can maybe come up with something, so yeah, THE POINT OF ALL THIS BEING - it probably sounds a lot better to a reader than it will to you. They feel and read unnaturally to me because they don’t come naturally to me, lol, but the people reading probs don’t know that so trust yourself! Do it! Knowing you and your talent they’re probably incredible.

Okay, so, in an attempt not to be mundane, let’s go through this fav line by fav line please forgive me if I just rewrite the whole chapter because ff.net doesn’t let you copy/paste

“She remembered feeling alarmed, a little helpless, like a plastic bag caught in the middle of a hurricane” (us FL girls can spot one another from miles away) (but also???? great simile). Poor Damon, but also poor Bonnie. This girl is just tryna help—it’s the core of her being, tbh—and this boy is too proud. Not like proud-proud, but that oh-shit-I’m-exposed proud. You know.  A/N: AMERICAN BEAUTY REFERENCE WHADDUP. Lol I was channeling that plastic bag shot at the end of the movie. Granted there’s no hurricane in that but you know, us Florida girls put hurricanes into everything. And yeah, that’s a great read on Damon. His pride/confidence is something he uses as a shield more than anything, which isn’t to say it’s fake exactly, but more so something he relies on to stay detached and not really have to deal with things. It’s easy for him to be like ‘world sucks, I don’t care’. Anytime anyone sees below that confidence/armor, though, it’s really destabilizing for him because it makes the reality of his fears/anxieties harder to ignore, ya know?

Kai calling out “Friends?” is the most relatable thing. He’s a murdery little bean.

“And sure, maybe she’s being a giant, hypocritical pot to his doesn’t-deal-with-childhood-trauma kettle…” Yes girl, these lines are really awesome. Also, I like how Bonnie recognizes the cycle right away. She’s like ‘been there done that broseph’.

“Do you have any pop tarts?” this girl asks. Lol when you stress eat. Btw, we never find out if she got them??? I need answers???? I feel like Kai could 3D print pop tarts if he needed to.

“Toodles”: I had a friend (loose usage of the term) in hs who used to say that, for real, and it’s funny ‘cause she was this gossipy diva (Bekah?) and reading this just sent me back. Also, toodles is such a passive-aggressive thing to say, especially for Care. I don’t think toodles has ever been said without the backing vocal of ‘I hate you please die’.

“… the prospect of going through the whole song and dance made her bones ache, it was so tiring.” FINALLY, CAROLINE, YOU’RE FREE OF THE CURSE I can tell not really, but, at least, we’re getting through some of that warding doe. RIGHT!? Lol I was excited to put that bit in because it was sort of my attempted nod to everyone reading that it was okay (actually encouraged!) to feel frustrated with Caroline’s constant mood swings because she herself hated them. They weren’t meant to be read as a some ‘fascinating complicated girl’ thing, you know? I feel like a lot of shows (esp. with male writers) like to write these female characters that are difficult and volatile for the sake of being ‘interesting’ and I kind of wanted everyone to know that I wasn’t going for that. Caroline’s coming from a place of fear. She knows what she’s doing isn’t fair. She knows it’s angering and more trouble than it’s worth. And even more than that, she hates it just as much as everyone else does, and by the time we hit chapter 16, she’s finally too drained to listen to that frantic instinct to self-preserve. She just throws caution to the wind and lets it go. It’s still scary for her but what can you do. But you’re right, she’s getting there!

***Side Note*** when is Tyler gonna be a thing, I need some sma Tyler in my life rn Me toooooooo he’s my husband. He should be popping in for 18 or 19!

Stefan’s recap of what happened, “you planned the homecoming dance at the same time as the football game”/”False” is great. I really love your back-and-forth dialogue, like always, ‘cause it’s natural and it’s funny as hell. Idk, when I write it (or sometimes when I read other people’s), it doesn’t have that same fast pace hilarity. Maybe that’s just me. It’s definitely just you cause I’ve read your dialogue and it’s hilarious, but one thing I’ve found that super speeds up dialogue is removing the dialogue tags. Seriously. Makes a world of difference. Like I don’t think it’s even possible to write an extended snappy exchange with dialogue tags tbh, cause your mind will just naturally slow it down to read the description. Half the time I go back to edit, I’m just removing unnecessary dialogue tags or descriptions that felt needed at the time. It helps if you can pick dialogue that sort of speaks for itself in terms of how it’s said, too (and realizing that once you’ve set the tone of a conversation, you really don’t need to keep re-emphasizing that tone - it really only needs to be addressed if there’s a shift imo). Also, I’ve kind of found that leaving out subjects can both make dialogue sound way more natural and also speed it up. Like even in the example you used below: “You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell” it wouldn’t read the same if it was: “You’re ridiculous.” “I’m effective.” “You’re terrifying.” “I’m productive.” “And you’re impressive as hell.” See how it slows it down? And throw in dialogue tags and it’s even slower. “You’re ridiculous,” he said. “I’m effective,” I countered. “You’re terrifying,” he replied. “I’m productive,” I quipped. “And you’re impressive as hell,” he concluded. To me that just completely changes the speed/flow. So yeah, there’s my unsolicited advice on snappy dialogue, lolololol.

Caroline’s interjection: “Systematic overview” lol

“You’re ridiculous”/ “Effective” / “Terrifying”/ “Productive”/ “And impressive as hell”—ooooo, Stefan! Your heart-eyes are showing! 

***Side Note*** so, uh, are we ever gonna find out what Stefan allegedly did? Muahaha yes. Kind of. Iz cute.

His deadpan face eased into a smile—one of those twinkling, warm ones that reminded her of honey spilling off a spoon—and predictably, annoyingly, her stomach did a flutter—gold. I feel like you can really get away with lines like this when it comes to Steroline because a) Caroline is a writer and b) Stefan is a Disney prince I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU USED THAT BTW I’M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF BUT DUUUUDE LISTEN I have so much fun writing in Caroline’s PoV because I can write things in a way that I can’t with other characters. I think you’ll see a lot of that in 17 when Caroline dives into her Matt history. And Stefan’s fun because he’s such a fucking sap so I can get as dumb as I want. He has a scene in 17 where I’m like ‘jesus christ dude get a grip’. Damon’s my annoying son because he’s closed off as hell so I always have to keep his thoughts muted and on-the-brink-of-something. Bonnie probably comes the most easily. Anyway, there’s my response to a question that was never even asked.

“It was the elephant in the room, big and obvious and floating over their heads like a light-up blimp. None of this frothy, chit-chat matters, it read in a glitzy, scrolling marquee, waving its animatronic trunk, y’all are fake.” … Does it ever get exhausting? Knowing that you’re literally the best at this metaphorical imagery thingies that need an actual name so I can use it and throw it in your face like, look at this gabi, think about what you’ve done? I almost cut that out because I thought it would feel random! See? That was one of those ‘pause’ moments where I almost left it as ‘the elephant in the room’ and then was like ‘you can do better than that’, and then after I extended it I was like ‘that sounds weird as hell but whatever roll with it’. So roll with yours, girl!

“An awkward beat passed as they regarded each other in the bright, exposing overhead light”/ “the lighting too clinical for such a personal conversation”. So, recently, coupling physical and metaphorical description has really been my jam, and I am so totally digging this. I have this weird thing where I feel like the lighting has to be soft for intimate conversations and if it’s not I’m like not in the right headspace for it, looool. So I’m glad you’re weird about that with me!

“[Katherine] was tough. Cynical. Her arms would lock tightly around him, jaw set, damning the world and the fucked up people in it.” Nice glimpse at the infamous Katherine Pierce. Can’t wait for a possible cameo from her in the future. NYE! Hopefully. I might be overselling NYE.

“Melted, really, like a clock in a fucking Dali painting.” Ok so like, do you Google this shit or is your brain just going a million miles a minute, coming up with stellar ways of impressing us (me)? Like jfc Gabi, calm down. LOOOL okay that one was instinctive because I compare legit every melty thing to a Dali clock. My sister’s cat has no bones and liquifies into whatever space she inhabits and we call her a melted clock.

“Floaty, useless goddamn feathers” this is cute i’m fine

“The Tylers” mention: Tyler believes in love? Is Tyler a Stefan, and that’s why Defan gels? Does Tyler have a girlfriend or boyfriend or a something?!?!? How cute! I feel like the best way to describe Tyler is like… surprisingly well-adjusted. Like he definitely had some shitty things go down in his life (abusive dad), but he had a loving mom and an unexpected support system in Damon and Katherine and because of that, he’s grown up to be this easy-going, confident guy. He’s definitely got a wild streak because of Damon and Katherine, but even when he went out with them they always kept an eye on him, always kept him out of the real dangerous stuff. He grew up loved. So when it comes to romantic love, he’s a casual optimist about it. He’s not some heart-on-his-sleeve romantic, but he believes it’s out there. His issue is kind of that he gets along with everyone (one of those types), so no one’s really knocked him off his feet yet love-wise. “The Carolines”: oh shit, called out. I love that he can read her like a goddamn book even though they aren’t anything under the surface at all. Like that just shows how good he is at this. Yessss, love that interpretation. I kind of wanted to emphasize how much he has everyone pegged so that it would heighten the contrast to how much he keeps having to redefine Bonnie.

“She’d cracked his varnish”—nice—“so thoughtlessly, like it wasn’t something he relied on”—oh shit—“and for what?/ “For shits and giggles? To see if she could?” Like usually I can handle these lines I’m lying but how sad and fucked up is it that Damon thinks Bonnie was only kind to him for something. I totally understand his mindset (like get where he’s coming from), but jfc honey, Bonnie is the Hufflepuffiest (which kudos btw for using the house for both ships, nice nice, I’m honored on behalf of us honey-badgers) and she literally didn’t try to help for anything. He def. struggles with the idea of people being kind for no reason. AND YAS GIRL HONEY BADGERS UNITE! KINDNESS EVERYWHERE! YOU get some kindness. YOU get some kindness! ERRBODY IN DA CLUB GETTIN KINDNESS.

“He scoffed again, shaking his head—worry. Concern./ “Unwanted things.” CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS THE SHIT, MAN. All us writers out here (or just me idk) are screaming and, probably totally weeping.

“Her eyes looked a little buggy in her magnifying goggles, hair in a mess of curls, and instantly, unwantedly, he felt a bit of the cool distance warm right off him.” Oh silly boy. Like you can actually resist how adorable Bon-bon is. Also, love nerd!Bonnie, can she come back some more? I’m going to incorporate it into 17! I think. Lmao I will now.

“It means I don’t need you to fucking fix me.” Yikes, dude. I always worry that those mood-shift lines aren’t going to pack enough of a punch so I love when you single them out.

“One little emotion glitch”… It’s really interesting you put it this way. Stefonnie are all heartstrings and mush, and Daroline are very ones-and-zeros, very programmed­-and­-defined. And this ties into Kai’s “logic” speech, because while these no-strings-attached sillies think they can avoid what makes us all human, they’ve got another thing coming. These fools are just as sappy-feely as their romantic counterparts. TRUEFAX.COM I wanna change the story description to just that ^^ 

“Relax.” IF THAT SHIT ISN’T THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER I HAVE NO IDEA HOW BONNIE DIDN’T DECK HIM RIGHT THERE. Not to call him out, but my boyfriend does this whenever I get worked up, and I’ve warned him, next time he tells me to relax, he’s getting hit. I literally read Damon’s “relax” in my bf’s voice, and I got so irritated. (Great job). I THINK YOU MEAN YOUR FIANCÉ WHHHAAAATTTTTT

“Your blood type was ‘tequila’.”

“Does that bother you” / “Not as much as it bothers you” OOOO GIRL EXPOSE HIM YAS another line I hoped packed a punch.

“Cat, is he lying?” lol when do they actually name her Never.

“Casually vibrant and loose” reminds me of sunshine for some reason. Sunshiny Caroline is my fav.

“Bonnie’s Caroline. Spirited. Brassy… A hell-raiser with a sparkling stare and a laugh like a bell.” Stefan, babe, stop.

“Badgering the witness!” LOL I’m using this in b&b, you’ve been warned, bye DO IT.

“Memory Lane was closed.”/ “Detour to Platonic Avenue”: good, good, keep it up. I love how they end up talking about it anyways? And it’s lowkey a daroline convo, but without a doubt, Damon would flirt it up, and it’d probably end in more sex, but these two goofballs I swear: “Told you I was the class skank”  and “it takes years of training” but also “No room left behind” “Nothing is good enough to make me forget about how much I hate heights” / “I am” OH SHIT IT’S GETTIN’ HOT IN HERE. But also????? Excellent example of what I was saying (re: daroline convo); Caroline lapsed into her natural, flirty confidence, not even realizing GIRL HOW AREN’T YOU REALIZING how something so saucy, that would naturally turn on Stefan, can’t be said so casually. HAHAHA honestly as I was writing that I was like ‘careful what you wish for steffy bear’ because like you said, that is natural Caroline. She’s confident, flirty, vibrant, etc, and if Stefan was already falling for the prickly, self-preserving version, how did he expect to survive this one, you know? I don’t approve of these characters’ dumb ass decisions I just write them.

“You’re Lawyer Dangerous-ing me, aren’t you?” and “Wow, I ruined you.” Love it. I feel like Kol pulled this shit on Caroline, and she lowkey trusts her brother, so she fell for things like this all the time. LOOOL Kol’s such a menace.

“You didn’t think you were Buttercup, did you?” / “That’s embarrassing”: I love sma Stefan so much. I liked tvd at one time, but that’s for another day lololol we’ve discussed this.

“Ugh, montage love” I’m sorry Gabi, are you in sma too? ya know every now and then I have to insert my frustration with how dumb everyone is.

“Was it real if the sun started to fade after a few years? Was it real if the gravity weakened and he had to struggle to stay in her atmosphere? Was it real if another planet got pulled in, too, one he could never see because it was always on the exact opposite side of her, moving in tandem with him, eclipsed by her glow?” Shit, girl. Like, go home already. Gah, thanks love. Another case of ‘pause. Think. You can do better.’ I’m telling you, you just have to roll with it!

“I don’t regret a second of that” oh Stefan, you lovesick fool

“I’m like a human Bermuda Triangle” love

“Just give him the Disney Prince look” and the process of him going through it, and him being like, “This is just my face” I’m dead.

“Danger Zone” lmfaoooooo, followed by “Whatever, Piss Pants”. Sounds like a classic Caroline x Kol moment Honestly, it was so nice to write them just having an easy convo, lololol. And TOTALLY a Care x Kol type exchange. Oh, Kol. I can’t wait to write him over the Christmas chapter(s). 

“Bonnie knew the ball was in her court to be the bigger person” to “…they all made her feel caught between telling him that everything was going to be okay and asking him if he wanted a gold fucking star.”/ “Unfortunately, the latter seemed to be winning out.” Okay, so I have to admit this: this “petty, four-year-old” Bamon is a little shamefully like me and my boyfriend. We’re like the diluted version of bamon in this fic. I’m the nerd/caring one, my bf is the cynical/well-read one, and we’re both petty af, and our form of affection is kinda like bamon’s back-and-forth. I mean, we’re not as fucked up at all, but idk, I see parts of our relationship in bamon, which is why they are otp does that mean I think ryan and I otp? maybe but I don’t like being gross. Anyways… FIANCÉ RYAN. CASS IS GETTING MARRIED Y’ALL. I OTP YOU GUYS ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US SO IT’S FINE.

“Must be depressing” / “Don’t worry about it” / “Just means it doesn’t matter” / “Because isn’t that the human way?” Ooooo this shit boils my blood this is the kind of crap ryan pulls sometimes omg but moreover, this baiting thing is so aggravating. Say what you want to say and be done with it! WEDDING BELLS AND RIIIINNNIIINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LMAO literally any mention of you and Ryan’s going to bring that response out of me bye

“I mean, didn’t you tell me last night that your biggest fear is that something’s wrong with you and it’s only a matter of time before everyone else figures it out?” and Bonnie’s internal monologue “her head was caught in a hum as she tried to shake off the burn of hearing her biggest insecurity thrown in her face, casual, smug”. I got to admit, Gab, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I was literally hanging on every sentence like oh. My. GOD. DAMON WENT THERE.

Side Note: this whole scene had me all sorts of fucked up, and like damn girl, you really know how to write ‘em. Like I felt for Bonnie. Not in a personal way, but like having someone just throw your deepest fear in your face? Someone who you were just warming up to? Like shit.

GIRL thanks so much, that scene definitely took some tweaking. I always stress about those moments because it takes me so long to get a sense for exactly what kind of mood I built (cause I’m almost like… already in the mood when I start writing it so I don’t actually know if I built it or not? Like if someone who wasn’t me would feel it through the writing alone? Does that make sense? I always try to explain this and fail). But anyway, gah, so glad this pulled you in. Like it’s one thing to try and be funny and fail at it (my life) but for some reason it’s way more nerve-wracking to me to try and be dramatic/intense and fail at it. 

 Kai’s crème-bru-yay is like opening Pinterest and seeing the first promoted post lol.

Damon’s “would it kill you to stay for one dessert” and her “it might kill you”, which I translated to “I might kill you, you fucker” Exactly what it meant.

The Bon/Kid talk. Nice. I love how it parallels to the Care/Stef talk earlier (dunno if you did this on purpose?) Nope, but I’m going to pretend I’m put-together enough of an author to do things like that and say of course.

“I don’t even know what your vulnerabilities are, Damon!” Have you read Lee’s “Parachute” bamon fic. Damon asks, “Do I ever say anything I don’t mean?” and Bonnie says something like Uh yeah, you say whatever will bother people the most. That. That is so true, and I didn’t realize it until I read it in her fic. Noooo, I haven’t, but now I really need to!

He was a friggin’ serial killer and they’d played right into his game Jesus fucking Christ they were all going to di—I love how off the rails Bonnie’s thoughts are. Like she’s stilly lowkey pissy at Damon, but at the same time, she’s like we’re gonna die. LOL that’s why Bonnie’s the easiest for me to write, because I too am often balancing serious emotions with cracky off-the-rails thoughts. 

“I’m sorry but what the everloving fuck, dude?” So, first, amazing line lmfao; second, amazing scene, my friend. Damon, somehow, talking Kai down? Like who would have thought? “Not a good look, man.” I’m dead.

Jk that line is getting it’s own number. Just reading it makes me think that Damon must’ve said something like this to Tyler. Must have. Like, maybe Tyler’s talking about how he got into a fight at school, or maybe about how he screwed things up with a girl—idk idc, big brother!Damon is a good look. Toootally! I was 100% channeling big bro!Damon there, and I definitely hoped people would connect it back to Tyler. Tyler’s just someone that Damon wants better for, you know? Like him and Katherine take him along on their wild rides but like I said earlier, Damon definitely doesn’t want him to live the same kind of life or make the same kind of mistakes/sacrifices he’s made. So I can totally see him steering him off that path if he senses him heading down it. And just in general, so happy you liked that scene. It was one of the scenes I was most pumped for ‘cause I live for feels, and I thought it showed really cute sides of both Damon and Kai.

Kai’s fun fact about Dante, and Damon’s plain, “Bummer” lol.

Kai’s “Did you mean what you said earlier…thinking I was cool…?” I seriously don’t know how you made a serial killer adorable but how dare you :D

“Boyish, almost, like he was some angsty teen she’d walked in on listening to Britney Spears”, oops you did it again I’m hilarious my friend, you played with my heart for fantastic similes. Like, this one just epitomizes what you wanted it to, this sheepish, caught-in-the-moment-of-a-good-deed kinda thing. Like, Gabi, stop Yeeeesssss that was exactly what I wanted to get across but I wasn’t sure I got it across so YAY. Goes to show you. You never think that of your own stuff. Idk why this review response is turning into a giant PSA on cutting yourself some slack with your own writing but CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK WITH YOUR OWN WRITING PEOPLE.

‘you are so much more than you think you are, you piece of shit’—see, that’s my kind of “terms of endearment”. LOL mine too.

Caroline vs. Cat, illustrated by “Are you trying to die?” is very much like me vs. a cat except I’m super allergic, so I’m doing the dying LOOOOOL love ya, Cas.

“Stefan!” She blustered out of her room with a scowl, padding down the hallway in Bonnie’s too-small Gryffindor slippers. First off, Caroline calling Stefan. Secondly, Caroline calling Stefan to be a meditator between her and the cat. Thirdly, why does Bonnie had Gryffindor slippers if she is clearly (eh) Hufflepuff (she could easily be Ravenclaw tbh). LMAO so I made them Hufflepuff at first and then I remembered Bonnie had a Gryffindor shirt and I thought it’d be funny for her to just randomly have paraphernalia from every house because she can’t decide who she is and goes through phases where she’s super convinced she’s one house and then it changes a few months later.

“Tide of amusement”/ “Wash of endearment”: teach me your wayssss I read that as ‘teach me your waaaavvveeesss’ we’re both hilarious

“Saint Stefan”: I really like (and appreciate) that Caroline is the one calling him this. That it’s not some jealous brother, but some girl who blatantly misunderstood him and is coming to the conclusion that maybe this savior complex isn’t as bad/ingrained as she thought. Honestly even just reading ‘jealous brother’ gave me such TVD PTSD. Gross. I’m with ya, girl. 

Stefan’s advice, “Dazzle him with that Rebekah charm” literally is the most Dad thing I’ve ever seen lmao

“Demon.” / “Demons everywhere.” Lolololololol

“Do your thing. Give me the sisterhood spiel or whatever Hallmark collection it was you were planning on plagiarizing.” Well shit. I’d probably pay to hear Damon and Rebekah’s verbal sparring. LMAO Damon vs. Rebekah would be amazing. I feel like they’d be fast friends, which makes me laugh because Kol would totally idolize Damon and yet him and Rebekah would loathe each other.

“But more importantly… Tiffany will be social media stalking you every inch of the way, seething with jealousy, so take a lot of pictures.” I love how she gives the realest advice, and then brings it to Rebekah’s level lol. I feel like big sister!Caroline is something we were deprived of and didn’t know it. Hahaha you know Rebekah would totally ignore that shit if it didn’t circle back to making her nemesis miserable. But sister!Caroline is definitely something I want to do more of, so I’m so happy you liked that side. Christmas time will give her and Kol some quality time (and Mama Liz!)

“I’m going to need some tea,” she says lmao.

 Oh this is the thing I was talking about when I referred to Lee’s fic: “he’d know before he’d even opened his mouth that he was going to hate what came out” and “why the hell had he even gone there? He could’ve just told her he needed space”. Very similar. You guys had the same revelation. That’s rad - I definitely have to go read her fic. Lee’s writing is always brilliant.

“Unfortunately, the hole he’d just managed to dig himself into had an echo, and the only sound in it was the disbelieving crack in Bonnie’s voice when she’d confronted him about bring up her parents.” Right in the heart.

“But maybe she thought he was a megadouche” he cares what she thinks! “Maybe she was waiting for him to prove that he wasn’t.”

“You missed a spot” / “A harsh spray of water cut him off from the pull-out faucet she’d shot straight at him”—if this petty shit isn’t me & ryan CAS AND RYAN ARE GETTING MARRIEDDDDDDDDDD

“And mean.” I love that tack on, it’s so childish, but epitomizes how she can’t even stay mad at him. “Very, very mean.” Their childish bits are my favorite parts to write. It’s in full-swing in 17.

 “I just had a really shitty week last week.” Oooo glimpse into the past. Like Bonnie’s with the Enzo/Klaus mention. More of that ahead!

“And don’t stop calling me kid.” / “It’s cute and I like it.” Can they just kiss and be together already omg You would think but everyone in this story is stupid.

“And he was struck by the most bizarre impulse to kiss her” see, even Damon knows!!!!

The “pep rally” / “I was actually a cheerleader for a bit in college” convo. Classic Bamon

 “Try not to do anything secretly heroic while I’m gone.”

“Maybe he was allergic to pep” / “maybe he was high on it” Damon and Bonnie sitting in a tree… D-E-N-Y-I-N-G

THE ALMOST STEROLINE NAME DROP I WAS ACTUALLY GRINNING LIKE A MORON WHEN I READ THIS MUAHAHA it was so stupid and I cackled writing it.

“I think I need to talk about Matt”/ “And I think you should probably tell me about Elena”. What? Caroline Forbes is talking about exes? Is doing something healthy that’ll further her relationship with Stefan? THERE IS SO MUCH PRIDE IN MY HEART – Also, I think this was a great way to end the chapter ‘cause it’s super cliffhanger and also super like a tvd episode, you know? Great, excellent, fantastic job! RIGHT? LOOK AT HER GO! She’s ready to confront some things! And because I took six months to reply to this and have the benefit of actually having the scene written now, I can tell you that she’s really going there. Saying things she’s never said out loud. It’s a hard scene for her. But she’s determined. So it makes me so happy that you’re proud of her (I’m proud of her!), and hopefully the next chapter will make it a little clearer why she is the way she is (and why it took her this long to get there). Also, YAY for show-like endings! You know that’s what I’m going for ;) TBH that’s a large reason why the chapters have gotten so long - I want like a whole episode in a chapter with a beginning, middle, and end, and I want them to set up a story for the next one, and for four central characters that usually ends up taking me about 8-10 scenes, loool. So I’m glad you like it that way, too ;)

Okay, so this is longer than I hoped, but I’m sure you won’t mind. Take your mind off med school, off the whole moving thing. Anyways, thanks a bazillion for being this awesome author that interacts with her audience, who puts at least 1000% percent into this fic when, really, you don’t gotta, and ya know… thanks for fulfilling the need everyone has seen tvd died (there were only 6 seasons right?)

Definitely only six seasons. And girl, psh, thank you for making all of the things you listed above worth it. Seriously. You guys make writing this story a legitimate joy - I literally have you in mind when I write. I anticipate who’s going to like what. Whose going to have a problem with what. And it makes me a better writer. Seriously. Anyway, you’re as lovely and witty and talented and kind and weird and wonderful as ever and I expect detailed updates on you and Ryan’s royal wedding every week and NEVER EVER APOLOGIZE AGAIN FOR WRITING A LONG REVIEW WHO ARE YOU KIDDING YOU’RE MY SUN AND I’VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT I’LL SAY IT AGAIN IT TAKES ME FOREVER TO RESPOND BECAUSE I LEGIT CAN’T THINK OF A REPLY THAT’S WORTHY SOOOOO THANKS FOR MAKING MY LIFE K BYEEEEE

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 25

Spoilers, obv.

Let's just dive in, eh?

Jamie's Cover

One of the interesting things about comics is the solicitation process. As such, a sub-section of the fandom will be aware of a cover before it comes out (or the month before it comes out if it's a comic which puts a NEXT MONTH cover in the back). So for the hardcore readers, this will actually be the first image they see of Minerva's new look.

So yeah, good debut, Mini.

This arc we're clearly not doing quite what we did on previous ones – the link from the cover star to the interior one is much more tangential than the first two years. Let's not make it too easy.

Emi Lenox's Cover

Emi is one of our favourite people in the whole world, let alone comics. Her co-written with Jeff Lemire (and drawn by her) of Plutona was one of our favourite minis of last year too. I believe Emi wanted to do another god, and then read the latest issues and I WANT TO DO PERSEPHONE!

Which has been a running theme this arc, actually. We've had to encourage other gods for the B-sides later on. Persephone, you're more than a superstar, but you're not our only coverstyle.

Very much a continuation of our Wide Variety Of Styles On Cover theme. This is about art.

Page 1

Compared to many of the issues this arc, this is a less demanding one for the artist than usual. I don't do it unless I have to, and I knew there's horrible stuff ahead. That said, the world fell apart during the production of this issue, and we lost a week. So it was hard anyway. Comics!

Anyway – we start slow. Three panels. Establish location, establish situation, establish key character. This is aimed towards being reserved, clear and efficient.

First swearing of Cass in the issue. And not the last.

The cliffhanger last time is an unusual one for us, as I believe I said (I totally don't re-read these notes after writing them. When we come to edit them for the hardback, it's always a thrill. Hey C! Sorry about all the typos.) It's a mid-action cliff-hanger. Normally we're in a “reveal of important new information” or “completion of surprising action” place when we cliffhanger, and half the time we don't even do that. This is a “half way through action” cliffhanger.  As such, it's about “How does this action complete?”

Structurally speaking, I tend to think that these tend to risk creating false drama. If you don't go through with an action in any meaningful way, that's what it is – a raising of expectations and a quashing of them, which – to use the technical writing term – is total bullshit. If you do go through with it... well, why didn't you do it to end the previous issue? Then you have a “completion of surprising action” cliffhanger, which is much more honest.

So the main way to resolve them, for me, is that what DOES happen has to be at least as interesting as what didn't happen.

So that's where we try to go, as Persephone is totally going to torture Woden.

(In my original synopsis the previous episode ended with Woden's reveal, with Persephone raising her fingers at the start of this. I made this call when writing both issues.)

That was a lot of words.

In other notes: I would really like Persephone's trousers here.

Page 2

Anyway – this whole sequence is about Jamie again. The push and pull of Persephone's reactions here is key.

Obviously the most important expression closes the page – we lose the skull eyes and have a push and pull of responses which caused me to pretty much instantly tear up. There's lots of ways to read this, and none of them good.

Page 3

Cassandra, voice of reason once more. “Go on a bender” makes me smile too.

Steady angle on the hands puts an unusual pressure on things – steady shots, in profile are something which tend to be most used in comedy. But it's all about the hands and the emotion. Also compare and contrast to the one over the page...

Page 4

Oh no, Persephone!

And this is very much about the scene as comedy. Breaking a scene into individual moments – decompressing, to use a much maligned and mis-used term – is all about increasing the effect. It is paramount in comedy.

Page 5 From the Hobbit. Bilbo and Smeagol. You can probably guess who's Smeagol in this metaphor, except not.

Page 6-7

The first page was written in a standard format – once more, using the very basic structure of establish/scene/character beat set up of the first page – and then moved into Marvel Method for the rest of the sequence. It's the first “real” performance sequence since issue 20s, so has been a while.

This sequence brought to mind the movie adaptation of UNDER THE SKIN when I was writing it, and that's not an inaccurate comparison, I suspect.

What's to look at here is Matt's purples, which are just lovely.

And black.

All that black.

And...

Page 8-11

EVEN MORE BLACK! Doing try printing scans of our pages at home, as your printer will hate us.

Obviously reminiscent of issue 3's performance sequence, and I love what they did with the tumbling sequence. Persephone's voice, caption-box less, dropped on the backdrop too.

At script, there was originally a couple of lines on the second spread. It was questioned by C, in terms of “He's a long way away – I don't think we can hear two beats like that” which is right, but also got me thinking about time operating in comics. The second you add dialogue to a page, it becomes a period of time. When you remove all dialogue, it gets a timeless quality. As in, you have no idea how long it's been like this. Seconds? Hours? Years? We don't know.

And that certainly adds to the effect of the sequence.

Page 12

Heh. I'm reading this as we put issue 26 to bed, having just passed Jamie the script for 27 earlier today. They are... somewhat denser. It's going to be a while until we have a three panel sequence like this.

Page 13-16

Oh, hello again, eight-panel grid structure, old friend. We'll be seeing you again soon.

The dumbest “I should have realised this in the script” mistake was that Cass didn't have a line in the first panel of this. That adds time to the sequence, and a repsonse to the appearance of Cass.

I remember the thinking on this for me. Okay, Persephone has dragged Woden away. What does Cass do? Try and free the Valkyries. Like, obviously.

Anyway – what we get instead of Woden being killed is this. Giving up the Valkyries. Dragged to be essentially Cass' helper. Working the level of reluctance and ego back and forth is key.

The Harry Potter line was probably the most closely debated line in the issue. C and I basically had a bunch of conversations trying to unpack the meaning, what Woden was trying to say about it exactly, what Woden thought he was saying, etc.

Whole sequence clearly important as it's stating a selection of the various mysteries in the book, signalling to the reader than them not knowing answers is not accidental, and making the characte's direction clear. “Direction” is tricky in Imperial Phase, which is kind of the point. Showing that we do have an idea what we're doing is probably a necessary tell.

The steady angle on the last two panels – once more, for comedy – makes me smile. The “Enigmatic Wankery” made think of a friend. I asked C who she thought would most likely actually say “Enigmatic Wankery.” She answered the same friend. So let's conclusively say “Enigmatic Wankery” is the line most likely to be said by author and punmeister supreme, Si Spurrier.

Page 15 – which, without saying it, where Cass implicitly agrees to working with Woden – is where I realised how good Woden and Cass are to have in the same room, in terms of pushing information around.

(Perhaps too much – Persephone is definitely an observer in these four pages)

Page 17

Text conversations are fun, just as how much you can get into it, as a piece of character work. That Cass hasn't updated her phone to change Laura's name ever since meeting her is certainly one thing, but also says a lot about various other bits and pieces.

Three golden expressions on the page., You can trust Jamie McKelvie to deliver on such thing – the specific annoyance and the somewhat enigmatic sadness of Persephone. And the... peevishly frustrated nature of Cass.

Also, easy panels! See, I'm not just a monster.

(Says the man who's just sent Jamie a script with a whole middle section sub-titled “ FUCKING HORRIBLE BEYOND ALL HUMAN BELIEF”)

Page 18

The quote's from Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Page 19

Ananke's speech from issue 5 of WicDiv, being broadcast. Fun juxtaposition. And god, that's a hard mask to draw.

And honestly, this page – which you should recognise in its structure – so upset me when I thought of it, I knew it had to go in. The more I think about it, the worse it gets.

The copy of Pantheon  monthly on the table especially makes me grin. I think that was Jamie's idea. Or maybe Katie?

Page 20-21

Persephone and Baal have been going out for three issues now. This sequence is the first time we've seen them in the same panel. Plus first time to see Baal in his guardian role. As such, wanting to live with them, albeit briefly, felt necessary. For a book that's often about death, we have to show life.

(The lightning-to-make-toast is the apex of that. The Mundane + The Divine may be an alternate title for WicDiv, or at least our aesthetic and interests.)

Also, let Minerva – ahem – continue to stretch her wings. Last time we got the human intelligence side of it. Now we get a more analytical mind.

And yes, Baal self-correcting himself is cute. You're trying, Baal.

Everyone's hair game is on point here. Minerva's fringe (aka Bangs, but we're in the UK, guys) is wonderful, but the winner is Persephone's braids.

On a really minor craft note? It's standard to say you end the page on a cliffhanger – an unanswered question, an reason to turn the page. The “Was Ananke right?” is a pretty good example of that, I think. Even mentioning Ananke changes the tone. The question is pointed, both in story and not. And, most of all, who's saying it?

Page 22

Oh, it's Amaterasu. Hi, Amaterasu.

This is very much catching balls we threw into the air, earlier. In terms of Amaterasu's actions, this is how the cast see it. Or at least, this part of the cast.

The third panel of this page makes me optimistic we're going to get away with an issue down the line. That's a lot of wonderful acting inside a tiny panel from Jamie.

I wasn't sure if “Li'l flower” was too much, but decided, no, it was the right amount of much.

Page 23-24

Yeah, this is a swing back to action-mode comics earlier than I suspect people were expecting it.

Kept really basic, leaving room for Jamie and Matt to do their thing. The tendrils whirling around, use of space, etc. Also, let's nod towards Matt's hot pink in the last panel.

Page 25

And hello what we can only presume is the Darkness, Great, which I probably better not say more about until next month. It was certainly a design conversation, but probably best to work in there. Clearly we wanted something interesting.

Yeah, that's enough for now, I think. We'll talk the nature of Cliffhangers again next time.

Page 26

I had a string of names for this one, before ending up here. I liked most of them enough to make me suspect they'll end up being used elsewhere.

Right – issue has just headed off to Image, so we'll see you in a month.

Thanks for reading.

[hannibalanalysis]

Hannibal Analysis: s01e04–Œuf

Œuf: an egg.

In the almost all of the previous posts, I’ve mentioned what I call the “Mirroring motif,” a staging option that is very prevalent throughout the show: two characters having a conversation, sitting across each other, creating a mostly symmetrical and balanced frame. In previous episodes, it was never used in the context that would make it iconic: during one of Will’s sessions with Hannibal. It’s been used with Hannibal and Franklyn, and even with our main duo, when they have breakfast in Apéritif. It’s was teased at the end of Amuse-Bouche, as, for the first time, Will actually sits in the chair, allowing him and Hannibal to speak face-to-face, without any obstacles between them. But the specific type of shot I always talk about doesn’t arrive until the very beginning of œuf.

This staging suggests openness and a certain trust in Will’s part: this is a man who uses glasses he doesn’t need just to avoid direct eye contact, who monologues his way through his class and doesn’t take questions from students to avoid as much social contact as possible, who spent his first sessions with Hannibal trying to put as much physical distance and barriers between them as he could. Sitting in front of Hannibal like this, he opens himself up to the closer scrutiny he usually dreads. He lets some of his walls down. The visual element is also highly symbolic of their relationship, or at least as Hannibal sees it: he thinks of Will as his equal, or as having the potential to become so. Even if he leans forward as Will tries to back up in his chair, suggesting the upper hand Hannibal has in this relationship, he still believes the two of them are mirror images of each other.

This first scene (which was originally at the end of Potage) goes a bit deeper into Will’s experiences visiting Garret Jacob Hobbs’ house, as well as his feeling of guilt due to Marissa Shore’s murder. But most important, it further develops the theme of Will’s continued empathic connection with Hobbs: “Sometimes, I felt like we were doing the same things at different times of day– like I was eating or showering or sleeping at the same time he was.” “Even after he was dead?” “Even after he was dead.” Then, we get our first hint of the gradual eroding of Will’s identity at the hands of his empathy disorder, his encephalitis and Hannibal’s manipulations. “Like… you were becoming him.” “I know who I am. I'm not Gareth Jacob Hobbs, Dr. Lecter.”

It seems as though Abigail has returned to the state she was at in the beginning of Potage: unusually stoic for someone who has gone through what happened to her, closed off, distant, and trying her best to seem fine. She refuses to speak to her support group and wants to leave the hospital she’s in. It worries Alana, who believes Abigail is not dealing with her trauma in a healthy way– Hannibal, on the other hand, sees it as as opportunity to manipulate her further and to strengthen his position as a father figure, which Alana advises against: “You stepping in as a surrogate would only be a crutch.”

The second session between Will and Hannibal in this episode also includes an interesting bit of cinematography: most simple conversation scenes in film and television are in over-the-shoulder shots, where the character speaking is in focus and the camera is a bit behind and to the side of the character listening, or at least in a similar angle– they will actually be used, as well as the mirroring motif, later in this scene. However, this time we begin with super intense close-ups, which cut quickly between the two characters, leaving us disoriented, unable to fully determine where the characters are and extremely uncomfortable with the fast-paced editing. This comes immediately after the commercial break, with no establishing shot or breathing room for us to prepare for the action. It serves to startle us and to make us feel for ourselves how intimidating this situation still is to Will: They look each other in the eye, Hannibal inquisitive and piercing, while Will is tense and attempts to redirect the conversation from his personal life to Hannibal’s. (This could also be a homage to The Silence of the Lambs, in which conversations between Clarice and other characters were consistently shot in this style of frontal close-ups, as a way to make the audience identify with Clarice and feel uncomfortable under the scrutiny and gaze of her colleagues and of Hannibal.)

Just as in Potage, the theme of the “Killer of the Week” plotline is the same as the theme explored in the main plot. This time around it’s family, or rather, surrogate families: children killing their birth families in favour of a new one, Will’s lack of connection to the traditional concept of family, the family he’s made out of his strays (in which Hannibal includes Abigail), the family both Will and Hannibal want to form with Abigail, the family she’s searching in them and in Dr. Bloom, and even the family formed by the team at the FBI. Describing the morgue scene and the sibling-like banter that precedes the examination, the script states: “Jack faces Zellar, Price, Katz, and Graham. He’s like a demanding father, presiding over his children as they present what they’ve just learned at school. Will stands slightly apart, not quite fitting into this surrogate family.”

Will, distressed at seeing the “Lost Boys” throw away what he could never have, buys Abigail a gift: fishing gear (his angry gift-buying is mentioned in Red Dragon). Although it’s more closely tied to the relationship between Will and Abigail, the fishing metaphor is much more appropriate to her involvement in her father’s murders than the hunting Jack Crawford loves to point at. It’s also interesting how the memory of hunting is what changes Will’s mind about the present: does he believe it might bring bad memories to Abigail or could he be attempting to avoid filling the father role that much, as Alana advised? In this session, unlike in the opening scene, Will doesn’t sit in his usual place in front of Hannibal (who is, in fact, still welcoming Will in his usual seat), but storms in, throwing the gift on the divan, and stands up for the rest of the scene, yet again putting distance between the two of them, and even has his back turned to Hannibal most of the time.

Going against everything Alana advised, Hannibal somehow manages to become Abigail’s guardian (or at least claims to become) and takes her to his home to do drugs. Before going, however, they talk about her bad dreams, Marissa and Nicholas Boyle, and Hannibal persists in trying to make her trust him, saying that while she’ll “have to get used to lying” to everyone else, she doesn’t need to lie about anything to him. As they leave, they deliver the most crucial lines to understanding Abigail’s position as both a victim and perpetrator of terrible things: “In the dream, I wonder how I’d live with myself knowing what I did.” “And when you’re awake?” “And when I’m awake, I know I can live with myself. I know I will just get used to what I did. Does that make me a sociopath?” “No. It makes you a survivor.”

Abigail mentions wanting to work for the FBI and Hannibal just too transparent: “I would certainly feel safer if you were in the hallowed halls of the F.B.I. protecting my interests.” Nevertheless, this little tidbit is one of the few moments where we learn about any desire of Abigail that isn’t just surviving through all of her trauma. We knew nothing about her as a person before the incident, and all that we know about her after is deeply tied to it. But the question stands, was she interested in that career before, or was it the FBI’s (and Will’s) actions in regards to her father that drew her to it? In the show, Abigail doesn’t really have any motivations that aren’t tied to her family, old or new, or the things she’s done, so it’s very interesting and intriguing to get what may be a glimpse of who she is removed from that context. (It’s also likely that this was introduced so that, had the show gone on differently, and Abigail actually joined the FBI, she could completely fill the role of Clarice’s surrogate.)

Hannibal does everything to make him, Will and Abigail into a family. He’s the first one to suggest the idea of paternity to Will, constantly reaffirms his paternal feeling towards Abigail, manipulates her into trusting and depending on him, and, at the end of this episode, becomes her guardian and takes her home. There, he tries to alienate her from Garret Jacob Hobbs (“You are not your father’s daughter. Not anymore.”) and tries to get Abigail to associate him and Will with her family: He gives her drugs and specifically makes the last meal she ever had with her parents, and (as explained in the script), attempts to have that dinner with her and Will. Will, however, never returns his calls and doesn’t come, so his role is accidentally filled by a furious Alana Bloom, but aside from that, Hannibal’s plan works perfectly: the hallucinogens, combined with the meal and his suggestions, make Abigail see her parents in Hannibal’s and Alana’s place, leaving Will out of this new family, out of the family at the FBI, and like the Lost Boys of this episode, alienated from his own family, alone at home with his strays, the only family he has.

[hollygrievesonphotography-blog]

Final Evaluation

I think all of my photographs are effective and of the same quality because they have all used a different composition and a different prop yet they still share similarities so they relate and don’t look completely different. For example, they all have a red undertone to them (all except for the one black and white image) which is something they all share while being quite different photographs. I decided to use this red undertone as my model is wearing a red shirt which shows up as such a vibrant colour and also, a lot of the photographs naturally turned out with very warm colours due to the lighting. I think the third image in the photo set is effective because of the clarity of my model even through the smoke, so her facial expressions and details are still clearly visible, which is important. I also think the fifth image is effective because her face is so detailed and clear with all the smoke around her and her facial expressions are still readable which is also important. I also believe the composition is effective as while it is different for each image, there is something keeping them connected, and this is the use of ‘weight’. I added a prop or element into the photograph so while the model is centre, the prop adds some weight to the side she is holding it, making it more unusual and effective. I was heavily inspired by different artists. The first was Rankin, as he takes very detailed, close up shots of models and shows a lot of emotions. The main thing Rankin communicates is the raw emotion of the model and that was something that inspired me a lot, and something I really tried to include; I wanted a show a lot of fear and anger which I think can be seen through my models emotions, but I kept my shots clear and detailed also. One image by Rankin shows Anna Kendrick using her hands and this is what first inspired me to use hands in my own photoshoot and my own idea progressed from there. Another artist that inspired me was Elena Kalis, who mainly does underwater photography but I was mainly influenced by the atmosphere of some of her photographs. While some are very happy and just generally pretty pictures, some have a very deep, dense atmosphere which is something I wanted to include to improve the emotion given. The colours in Kalis’s photographs really capture this atmosphere and add to it, for example the washed out blue gives an empty space so is more eerie while the model is dressed in bright clothing so stands out, yet her body positioning shows her emotions- such as the awkward positions show fear and vulnerability.The theme I chose for my project was ‘concealed’ and I definitely think I pushed my creative boundaries. The first idea I came up with was simply using hands to conceal the face and body in as many ways as possible, and I knew quite early on I wanted my models hands painted black, as I wanted her hands to represent her inner self, pushing her away from the outside world and being harsh and angry while the girl underneath was shy and scared. This was virtually the only idea I had and I did pursue this as in all my photographs the models hands were used to conceal her face or a body part, however once in the studio I had many more ideas also. The first idea was using a sheer piece of cloth we found in the studio and it was red so fit the colour theme of my photos, and there were so many ways to use this. In one image, my model is simply using the cloth to cover the side of her face, so this is a simpler use of the cloth, however in another one of my final images, I have used a much slower shutter speed of 2” to capture my model throwing the cloth and letting it fall back down in front of her face. This idea was very on the spot and quick, but I ended up with one of my personal favourites, as the photograph is blurred with the use of the slow shutter speed, while the model is still very detailed and in focus, and the cloth created a red hue for the entire photograph, while also concealing her face. Another idea that I discovered and used for my final mages, was using extra hands, this wouldn’t have been possible originally but there was an extra person in the studio, so it was then possible. I used his hands with the models to conceal her face and body even more to symbolise her ‘inner demons’ that are almost clawing their way out and she’s fighting them, as seen in my second image the extra’s hands are around my models throat and in my fourth image he has put only one hand at the side of her face, like it’s clawing upwards and also adds to the creepy, malevolent atmosphere. The last idea was probably my favourite ‘prop’ to use as when photographed it captured so beautifully and creatively. It was the idea to use a portable smoke machine, which is small and easy to manoeuvre. We tried using it many times in different ways: from above, from below, from the left and from the right. The most unique thing was that no two pictures looked alike because the smoke moved in different ways every time, as it can’t really be controlled. I personally enjoy how in some photographs, the smoke completely conceals the model's face, and in others, it just creates a hazy ‘shield’ across the entire shot, while keeping the model in focus. The smoke really added to the atmosphere as it definitely looked chilling and ghostly, while also portraying the haziness of her mind, so it can be viewed in a physical or more mental, metaphorical way. I also think I pushed my creative boundaries when editing, although I didn’t want to over-edit as I did like the original photographs. Firstly, I changed the exposure of each image and the shadows, so it was much darker, as the flash on my camera made it too bright for my liking, so the background was very dark and then I used Viviza 2 to bring brightness back into my model’s face and body. I also made sure there was enough clarity so detail was visible in each image, and then changed the saturation, so for coloured images, the reds really stood out and in the black and white, there was an easily recognisable contrast between light and shade.  These were the more simple editing techniques I used. I then decided to change the hue slightly of each image in sections, so for her skin and face, the tone was very red and warm, but for images where smoke was used, I made the smoke much more cool-toned so it contrasted and was very eye catching; in my first image the smoke is very white and bright and in the image where it completely covers her face but she is still visible (the last image), there is a blue tone used. The last of the editing techniques I used was frequency separation and air-brushing. I used both of these techniques to remove imperfections on my model’s face, such as the odd blemish or different pigmentation in the skin, and I felt air brushing often looks too fake, so I used frequency separation to keep the model’s texture but remove imperfections. Overall I do think I used my time effectively in this project. The first half of the project I focused on finishing my artists analysis’ in lots of depth but without falling behind, so I often finished these at home. Editing was my main focus in class as it requires photoshop and other editing softwares which I have no access to, so I focused on finishing these in class to a high standard. Towards the end of the project I felt more pushed for time, especially for the comparison as this requires two artists and a comparison paragraph so this took up a lot of my time, and also for ‘part 4’ of the project. I spent about one hour in total in the black studio taking some good quality photographs so I could keep my editing to a minimum, yet keep them looking professional and also fulfilling the brief- concealed. However by the end, it turns out I had no spare time and I wasn’t running out of time either, so it was planned quite well. In my group crit i received good comments, improvements and how to further my work. From my peers, it was said that I had a good gothic horror theme and also an underlying theme, as opposed to just the main theme of ‘concealed’. My peers said they also enjoyed the smoke I used, as it was unique and covered my model further in a very different way, as sometimes it fully concealed her, and sometimes it simply created a simple ‘film’ over her. Something that was questioned, and later enjoyed, was the use of black hands, as I used to to symbolize inner demons and an inner fight, so it shows the underlying theme, and also the sixth photograph, about how I got the blurred images, and I explained my use of a slow shutter speed and the use a red veil to get the natural red hue, and by her simply throwing it up and bending down, it concealed her with her own body and face. To develop my work further, I was advised to follow a gothic horror theme, as it seems to be my strong point and also something I thoroughly enjoy in photography, and also following a narrative instead of just random photographs following a theme/ brief, as it allows me to explore the theme further and give structure to my work, such as how the ‘demonic hands’ slowly take over my model’s entire body until the point of pure insanity. Lastly, if I had more time on this project, I would have liked to develop it further. I would firstly like to take some more photographs in the white studio as I feel I didn’t have much experience in there, and I could have worked on editing them better also. I would also have tried to experiment with different ideas for my own photographs following the theme of concealed; for this I would develop it by using more models, so I had different people yet a clear theme is visible throughout, and I would also like to experiment with different props, some more complex ones. Lastly, I would like to use art-based editing techniques on my final photographs to provide a variety of skills and aesthetics, compared to just editing with the computer software.