#eddie was watching an otter documentary

[peggingeddiediaz]

118 funny tweets 29/?

[neonponders]

Part 27 for @wrecked-fuse ‘s pocketverse 🍦

Part 26

( pt. 7′s art 🎩 ) ( pt. 9′s art 👀 ) ( pt. 14′s art 💨 ) ( pt. 19′s art 🦇 ) ( pt. 20′s art 🍳)

~ on ao3 ~

• • •

“Since when are you and Eddie Munson friends?”

Steve scratched his patchy stubble. “I wouldn’t say we are, but he’s got little guys too. You saw ‘em.”

“Yeah,” Max answered distractedly, preoccupied with watching the littles riding their bikes through Family Video. “But I figured Dustin finally made you cave for Hellfire.”

Steve opened his mouth, but their heads turned toward the very Eddie Munson in question, wielding the cassette case for Dark Crystal threateningly. “Choose your next words carefully, Harrington. And yes, hi, still here.”

“I see you,” Steve droned from behind the counter. The flood of church-goers had already come and gone from the store, stocking up on their Sunday evening plans and leaving the store mostly devoid of customers; especially since all of Hawkins knew the best movies were gone between Sunday and Tuesday.

Which also meant that they had been given a list of documentaries by the middle and high school faculty to be fulfilled by Monday morning. Robin sat on the confetti-printed carpet with the storage boxes, sorting and piling up the demanded inventory.

Steve finished, “D&D isn’t my thing.”

“And what is your thing?” Eddie challenged, smiling cockily.

“I’m a visual person, not an imagination person,” Steve countered.

Eddie’s smile faded somewhat. “I can’t fault you there, jock star. Even we use figurines and books to help us.”

Steve’s brows furrowed a little, but his, “Thanks,” was sincere. Then he focused on Robin and the littles riding their bikes amongst the piles. “Why doesn’t the school library have these things?”

Robin lifted a video and read aloud, “Childbirth: Richard’s Story. I think some people would burn the school to the ground if they heard about Richard.”

Steve shrugged. “We’ve all seen it. Why is it a surprise?”

Eddie answered, “Because kids are free to rebel before they join the cult comforts of their adult hive minds.”

“Do you always talk like this?”

“I’m not wrong - shit.”

Steve took a deep breath, which paused when headlights refracted off the storefront windows. He squinted in the gloom until he was sure, “Everyone relax, it’s Chris.”

The littles emerged from underneath Robin’s crisscrossed legs - small Eddie on Robin’s shoulder peeked out from underneath her bobbed hair. “Chwissy?”

“Me!” little Chrissy celebrated. “Big me!”

Chrissy stepped into the store and said, “Hey, Steve!” before waving at her parents, who drove away after dropping her off.

Gliding to the floor, small Eddie declared, “Chwissy! Wanna see me wide? I fwy like E.T.!”

Chrissy laughed and sank to the floor, legs bent to the side as she sat next opposite to Robin and watched the littles slalom in figure eights on the carpet. But in the first couple of minutes of arriving, Chrissy couldn’t help but notice little Billy riding a little distantly from the others. Little Eddie used Steve’s bike, since the latter lay within the arms of his otter plushie, watching Billy.

“Are they okay?”

“There was an incident,” Robin filled in. “Billy - like, big Billy - taunted Stevie, which lil B didn’t like. Now they’re both moping.”

Chrissy’s posture wilted empathetically. “Where’s Billy?”

Robin looked up at Max, who took the cue, “He’s at home. Our parents are going out of town for the week, so he has to prove that he’s around.”

Chrissy seemed to understand this since she nodded, but Eddie draped his arms over the shelves as he asked, “And you don’t?”

Chrissy intercepted, “It’s an older sibling thing.”

Eddie slowly picked his jaw up as he nodded, processing. “Baby of the family perks.”

“Except I’m not a baby,” Max said bitterly.

“Oh, you’ll always be the baby,” Eddie taunted, “and Billy will always be your leash.”

Emotion faded from Max’s face as if she might’ve seen a ghost. Still, she fought, “That sounds like hypocritical crap.”

“That’s parenting,” Eddie scoffed indifferently. “My dad told me about it. He was one of seven, and after he left home, he never spoke to his eldest brother again. He always regretted it. He told me it wasn’t even their fault; parents lower the chain of command to the eldest kids, and they hold the leash too tight, but the person on the other end doesn’t feel it. The leash sure does, though. Hence why his trauma led to me being an only child.”

Steve’s eyes wandered, clearly unsure how to moderate the discussion and thankfully didn’t have to. Chrissy offered to Robin, “Do you have siblings?”

“A sister,” Robin shared, “but our age gap is too big. We barely keep track of one another.”

“I’m counting the register,” Steve announced.

Robin glanced back at him and then at her watch. “Sure, I’ll finish early. Hell yeah.”

She set the stack of movies for the schools on the counter and she and Chrissy got the rest back in the boxes before promptly throwing the storage keys at Eddie. “Look like a charmer, Munson. Big and strong.”

He glared at her but couldn’t stop his eyes flicking to Chrissy as he heaved the box up in his arms. Chrissy was busy huddled next to the otter plushie, talking softly to the littles. Billy had dumped his bike to climb into the plushie’s fluff with little Steve. Small Eddie held onto Chrissy’s fingers while he talked animatedly, and little Chrissy sat on the otter’s arm, petting small Billy’s head.

Steve emerged from the break room, having deposited the money bag in the safe, and folded himself onto the floor like Chrissy. “What’re we talkin’ about down here?”

Chrissy lifted her eyes to him. “I’m trying to ask why they’re upset and what would make them feel better.”

Steve didn’t smile so much as press his lips into a sympathetic line. “B didn’t like the joke of Stevie getting hurt. Ever since B took a bite out of Billy, Billy’s been saying he’ll bite back.”

“ ‘S not my fawlt.”

Their eyes sank onto the small voice coming from within the otter fluff. Steve consoled, “I’m not saying it’s anyone��s fault, buddy. I know you were hungry when you did it, but he was trying to keep you from swan diving out of his shirt. And he shouldn’t have taken it so far as to actually scare Stevie. Now we’re all stuck in the middle.”

Small Chrissy reached over the otter’s arms to hold his hands. “You need to be nice, Biwwy. For Stevie and big Biwwy, too. He’s not weally mean. I can tell.”

Small Eddie seconded, “Yeah! Like me! Chwissy sees right thwough me.”

Big Chrissy smiled and tried, “What if Billy were to apologize? Would that help you say sorry too?”

Billy had his face tucked into the otter fur, making his eyes and cheeks look endearingly plump. “He wouldn’t mean it.”

Steve’s eyes felt huge in his own head. “Why do you think so?”

Blue eyes blinked up at him and fake otter fur caught quiet tears. “I wasn’t sowwy when I bit ‘im.”

“You don’t have to apologize for biting him.” All eyes lifted to Chrissy, who elaborated, “You were hungry and frustrated. It makes sense. But you could tell him thank you for making sure you didn’t hurt yourself while you were hungry and reckless.”

Little Chrissy and little Steve raked Billy’s hair off his face, wiping his tears for him. Big Chrissy finished, “I have a feeling you both really like being helpful. Am I right?”

Little Eddie answered, “Biwwy and Stevie made us croissants!”

Chrissy nodded like she had been right about something. “Billy likes helping, too. He acts like he doesn’t, because for some reason boys have a weird idea of what strength looks like. But he does.”

This close to the floor, big Steve noticed Max’s fidgety shuffling, sparing her a glance that made her go still.

Chrissy finished, “If you try to talk to him, I’m sure Billy will reciprocate. He’s that kind of person. He’s not all bad. He just needs to know how he can help.”

Little Billy sniffled and wiped his nose on the otter. “How d’you know he’wll be sowwy? And mean it?”

“Because if he isn’t, then I’ll make him sorry for something,” she smiled with a wink. “But seriously, Billy’s helped me a few times. I’ve got him figured out.”

Steve huffed congenially. “Wish I had him figured out.”

Chrissy inhaled like she might’ve intended to speak, but little Eddie flew up to her eye level and moved a piece of hair that had been hanging over her eyelashes, causing her to blink several times out of rhythm. “Thanks, Eddie.”

Then the larger Eddie said behind them, “Good job, lil dude. We ready to roll?”

Chrissy unfolded herself from the floor with little Eddie and Chrissy in her hands. She answered a chipper, “Yeah.”

Steve picked up the otter over his forearm as he rose to his feet. “What do you two have planned for a Sunday night?”

Eddie countered, “You mind your sleepover and we’ll mind ours.”

Steve started to roll his eyes, but Chrissy brightened, “You’re seeing Billy tonight?”

Robin arrived from the break room, then, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and catching the look Steve gave her. They frowned at each other, eye brows wagging in silent confusion they both failed at communication.

Max scoffed, “Oh, come on. Your littles lick each other. What’s the surprise? Are we going or what?”

Chrissy burst into giggles. “They what?”

Steve dodged, “I gotta lock the doors. Everyone out!”

Chrissy laughed and Eddie smiled as he dropped his jacket onto her shoulders on their way outside. “My van’s heating is out.”

“Thanks,” she said, voice and cheeks warm. Little Chrissy’s excitement over Eddie’s jacket had her nervously lifted a hand to push her hair behind her ear even though it was tied back in a pony tail.

Little Eddie distracted her with, “Chwissy? Can I wide in your hair?”

“Sure. You need to talk up there, though, so I know you’re still there.”

Little Eddie happily sat astride her scrunchie like a saddle. “I’m here! The world is beauwtiful on your head, Chwissy.”

“Tone it down,” big Eddie hissed as he opened the passenger door for them, earning bubbling laughter from both Chrissy and little Eds.

As for Steve’s car, Robin and Max fell into their seats, the latter holding the shoebox bedroom and the former holding the littles and their otter in her lap. Once the engine woke up and Steve got his headlights situated, little Stevie asked, “Are we weally going to Biwwy’s tonight?”

“That’s up to you two,” Steve answered. “We don’t have to, but I’m going to be a selfish asshole and crash there with you, if we go.”

Little Steve laughed and Billy thanked, “I want you therwe, Stevie.”

He let himself smile softly when he glanced at the blond tuft in all the otter’s fur, safely bound in small Steve’s arms. “Have a nap, B. We’re going home first.”

Little Steve looked up at him. “Home? Are we okay?”

“Yeah, we’re okay. But you guys will need an overnight bag...and Stevie, if all else fails, I think I know something that will cheer Honey B up. How’s that sound?”

“Good! Sounds good!”

Steve nodded at the street ahead, but he could feel the silence in the car like a fog. Then simultaneously, Robin and Max said together,

“Do I want to know?”

“Billy and I share a wall.”

Steve grimaced and waved at the air like he were swatting gnats. “It’s not about you! It’s about making a little guy with a big heart feel better. Jesus.”

More silence.

Then Robin asked, “Will you drop me off before you get married or am I handcuffed to this sleepover too?”

Steve didn’t grace that with and answer.

[skinks]

Richie and Eddie watch a documentary togther that features sea otters. Their whiskery faces, their flat and padded paws clutching special pebbles to their anxious muzzles like talismans against the leagues of cold and unforgiving ocean. This smashes clams. This kills monsters.

Well, Eddie watches it while Richie does about six other things at once. Occasionally he’ll imitate the animal noises out of nowhere, weirdly accurate. Strange cetacean clicks, the bark of a seal. It makes Eddie laugh.

A week or so later they’re out floating lazily around in their pool. The sun’s slung low with the heaviness of the passed day, pulling it home. A dead wasp rides the surface tension. Eddie’s ears dip slowly below and above the waterline, muffled then clear, and he thinks oddly of astronauts. Decompression, small water in the small chambers of his ears. He pushed through a lot of water in a tank during physical therapy, holding the support bars and walking without gravity. It had helped. He wonders idly whether that’s why the quarry always helped, too.

They’re floating close together on their backs. The sunburned meat of Eddie’s calves is soothed in the cool water. Richie’s not wearing his glasses, and Eddie looks at his dear, familiar profile framed and shimmering with the heat, the water, the meniscus clinging to his face, and Eddie is warm through with more than just the sunset, held up by more than just his hands swiping steady undercurrents in coordinated flight with Richie’s. Their knuckles bump, sometimes.

Richie sighs.

He drifts closer. Eddie is rocked, gently. “What?”

“Remember,” Richie says. He sounds slow and deep, like melted tarmac on the 405. “Remember those otters in Alaska? On TV, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Where else? We’ve never been to Alaska.”

Richie is close enough to touch now. They slide their hands lovingly through dampened chest hair, and Eddie’s head pulses like the tempo of a hot song. He probably needs to hydrate. Floating in the stuff and he still needs to hydrate.

Water, water, everywhere, he thinks. And not a drop. Osmosis. Richie’s underwater palm slips smoothly against the knotted divot of scarring on his back. Floating becomes briefly easier. Osmosis. Eddie thinks of submerging yourself deep enough in something that it slowly becomes a part of your body.

“I’ll take you to Alaska, baby,” Richie murmurs. When he blurs opens his eyes, his eyelashes are wet, spiked like dark pine needles. Eddie wants to protect them from the chlorine. Richie says, “I’ll ride a moose.”

“Okay.” Richie’s arm braces under Eddie’s body, like how they say to do it at lifeguard qualification training. Eddie only has two weeks left of the course. He could and would dive after anyone in a cistern, now.

The sky is a strange blue-orange. It looks color-corrected, like in a movie. “Okay,” Eddie says again, even though the documentary showed mosquitos the size of small birds. “Fine, we’ll go to Alaska. I’ll be your otter half.”

Water ripples from Richie’s bare laughing belly. “C’mere.”

Eddie’s weight is easy for him in the pool. He tugs until Eddie rests against his chest, both arms under Eddie’s armpits and clasped around his middle. Their legs kick softly against one another. It is like it was three decades prior, but the water is clearer, it all is. The hair on Richie’s shins burns Eddie’s burned calves a little hotter, and Eddie is so content his stomach clenches with it, his breath thins with it, his spine melts around the numb unfeeling knot. Osmosis, osmosis.

“You’re my favorite rock,” Richie says. Eddie can hear his smile in the way the words come out tight with it, pulled up at the corners. “My little clam-breaker.”

A lobster maybe, Eddie thinks. Red Maine lobster with its crustacean chest split down the middle.

Wicked hahd, the Richie in his head says. He’s wearing oil slickers. I’m a lobster, and I always will be.

Eddie laughs at the Richie beneath him in exchange for a wet, cool kiss to his sweating scalp. The orbital O of osmosis circles his drowsy head once more, light and humor leaked into his skin. What does Eddie push through his pores when they are close like this? Is it his love that opened this channel now, filling Richie up so that their salinities can stabilize and settle? Transubstantiation, Eddie thinks, for a moment. It sinks away again. He’s getting sleepy in the heat, in Richie’s arms.

“Y’know, they hold hands with their family members while they sleep,” he says after a while. His own voice stretches Mariana deep from his chest, as if a yawn. He reaches back and pushes wrinkled fingers through the flowing oil of Richie’s hair. “The otters. So they don’t float away and lose each other.”

Richie hums. Eddie rolls to the side with a small splash, to give their legs a break. Richie puts his pruny hand in Eddie’s. He squeezes and if Eddie closes his eyes he is time-travelling back to limestone and green algae and a turtle and this hand, this hand in his, still.

“Maybe if we’d held on,” he says to the memory. Richie only hums again, but he squeezes harder.

They float there until the sun goes down. It has already gone down on Derry, Maine, and soon it will go down on Alaska, too, when the Arctic summer passes and midnight can again hide its form in darkness.

[backyardadventuregirl]

Evanescence

When I was invited to exhibit my photographs at Green River Community College as part of a group show called Evanescence.  I jumped at the opportunity.  To show my conservation photography of the Green River Gorge at the college named after the river was a priority for me.  Not just because of the name but also because the college had a Natural Resources and Forestry program that I hope will become an integral part of the conservation and restoration effort of the Green River Gorge Greenway.

My first thoughts about exhibiting my work come from my literal side.  My work is a documentary to promote conservation.  The goals of my exhibitions are to raise awareness of the Green River Gorge Greenway and promote conservation.  The idea of showing as part of a “more conceptual art centered” theme, at first, seemed incongruous with my mission. Yet it is my profound conception of place through an artistic lens that feeds my passion for conservation.  That passion is rooted in how I see the natural world. 

 Evanescence. n. The event of fading and gradually vanishing from sight.

Neil Berkowitz, Thelma Harris and Lisa Parsons respond to the idea of place uniquely from an ephemeral and abstracted sense of being in layered digital photography manipulation, to reflections on time and personal history through dimensional Polaroid wall and pedestal installations, to preservation of our natural world in the documentation of landscape. Together, these artists play off of each other’s profound conception of place and time through the lens and experimentation of photography, making the fleeting nature of time tangible.

Evanescence: Neil Berkowitz, Thelma Harris, and Lisa Parsons

February 14th – March 14th, 2019

Artist Panel Discussion and Closing Reception

Thursday, March 14th, 12-1pm

 Discovering the Natural World Through the Lens

My time in the river helped me learn more about the rhythm of the river.  The Green river isn’t just a river.  It is a multi-layered story of currents, water, seasons, shorelines, habitat, stone, fish, wildlife, forests, and humans.  All the elements that make up the watershed create the river.  The story unfolds in the myriad of springs and streams that flow from drops of water that begin as snow or rain.  The springs and streams flow into the river giving it shape and form.  The water forms the carved sandstone edges, the forest around the river, and the currents that follow the channels downstream.

My discovery of the river started as seeing it as one body of water but as I started exploring the river by hiking through the fourteen miles of river gorge and bushwhacking, off and on trail, along the uplands; the picture became more detailed.  Layers of imagery emerged from the landscape and the river from the tiniest flowers to the towering three hundred foot sandstone cliffs.  Interwoven in the experience were encounters with black bear, bob cat, cougar, river otter, osprey, eagle, and King fishers.  I’ve learned to see footprints in the mud and identify scat (poop) that tells stories of elusive animals that call the river gorge home.  Often all that is seen if you know where to look is the footprints they have left behind. 

Salmon play a central theme in the river and in my conservation work.  Chinook, Coho, and Steelhead pose the question of whether we can do what is needed now to protect this species by protecting the river.  Through documenting the annual migration of the salmon I’ve learned so much about their journey through the river gorge. In the autumn I’ve swam with the salmon with my underwater camera capturing glimpses of their migration home.  Above the water I’ve silently watched their bodies explode with energy that propels them up the last few feet of Icy creek to spawn and then to die.  Their bodies, half in and half out of the water, lying on the rocks where they have laid their eggs.  The last breathes leaving their rhythmic mouths.

The forest at the edges of the gorge are a mix of near old growth towering western red cedars with branches that bend with the air currents.  Douglas fir and Hemlock also crowd around the river corridor.  In some places older trees remain.  In others young forests recover from logging or floods.  Alder and native cherry mix with the evergreens along with giant maples. 

In autumn the giant maples glow brilliantly orange and yellow, their leaves floating like sheets of colored paper and landing on the forest floor.  The last burst of color before the long winter of grey and barren branches.

Winter brings solitude and wildness as the river pulses against its confining edges. Barren branches stand dark against the backdrop of the grey sky. The water glows green as the only bright color in the dormant landscape. Wild water churns, boils, and spills over submerged rocks. It also brings solitude. Sometimes ice forms along cliff side waterfalls and along slack water in eddies and side channels.

Spring.  Bright Trillium bursting out of the ground like precious jewels that you can never take for granted.  They are greeted by the bright green unfolding fiddle head ferns, vine maple leaves, and the pink blossoms of salmon berry as the forest comes back to life.  When the river flows are high from snowmelt or heavy rains whitewater rafters and kayakers can be seen dancing along the currents, challenging lines through rapids called Mercury, the Nozzle, and Pipeline.  Their bright colored boats and clothes contrast against the layers of green in the river and surrounding landscape.

Summer settles in as a welcome relief to the endless months of rain.  The river recedes.  The flow is turned down by an upstream dam to a trickle of currents that barely riffle down the rocky drops before deep languid pools with sandstone edges.  The sun is hot enough to counter the snowmelt cold of the green water.  I’m invited to swim its lazy currents, and explore the sandstone edged shorelines.  It is friendly and a maze to be discovered as more is revealed below the winter water line. 

Mysteries are revealed.  Wood dams show where forces of current and high water have moved decaying forest downstream.  Carved fluid sandstone exhibits nature’s sculptor, water, deepening the walls of the gorge for a millennia.  Sandstone boulders poke out of deep pools where crawfish hide in water filled pockets.  River otters fish and then eat atop the rocks and then discard the remains; evidence of their presence.   Rope swings hanging silently revealing the transient presence of teenagers looking for a cool swimming hole to play in summer heat.  Primitive trails down to the river lead to fishermen casting their lines into secret fishing holes.

So, yes, the photos are meant to promote conservation but they also tell the story of the many rivers within the river and about my time as explorer, photographer, activist, and artist.  It is part of my story that is vanishing and fading from sight. The images are the evidence of my passage.  My hope is that the Green River Gorge remains a wild river gorge.  It will change with the seasons and natural rhythms but hopefully remain wild for others to discover and continue the story.

 Please share your images and stories of the Green River Gorge on the Friends of the Green River Gorge Facebook page.  Become part of the river’s conservation story.

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

Oscars 2018 Live Updates: 'The Shape of Water' Wins Big at 90th Annual Academy Awards

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences pulled out all the stops for the 2018 Oscars enlisting a who's who of A-listers to present, including Gal Gadot! Nicole Kidman! Tiffany Haddish! And Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lawrence (in lieu of Casey Affleck)! We saw performances from Mary J. Blige (yas!) and Sufjan Stevens. (We're still blubbering.) And one film was crowned Best Picture, but which one...?

That's just one of many questions that was answered during the telecast, which aired live from the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California, on March 4. Equally pressing was whether this year's Oscars would manage to avoid repeating last year's La La Land-Moonlight mix-up, considering Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway would once again be on hand to present Best Picture. "I'm still not clear on how the wrong envelope got into Warren Beatty's hands," host Jimmy Kimmel claimed ahead of the show. "I'll be honest, it would be funny if it happened again."

Here's a minute-by-minute breakdown of the 90th annual Academy Awards:

Photo by Matt Petit/A.M.P.A.S via Getty Images

8:48: As for the other big winner of the night, Mark Bridges (aka the winner of Best Costume Design) won the $17,999 jet ski, riding it onstage with a life vest on and Helen Mirren riding shotgun.

Photo by Matt Sayles/A.M.P.A.S via Getty Images

8:41: Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway are back again to present Best Picture, with the former cheekily beginning, "Thank you, it's so nice seeing you again." This time, there are no envelope mix-ups, and 2018's Best Picture is…The Shape of Water! (And yes, Guillermo del Toro made sure to check the envelope.)

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

8:32: Frances McDormand wins Best Actress for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. The now two-time winner took the mic and stammered, "I'm hyperventilating a little bit. If I fall over, pick me up because I've got some things to say." McDormand likened herself to Olympian Chloe Kim, thanked "every single person in this building," and then asked every single female nominee to stand with her: "Meryl, if you do it, everyone else will!"

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

8:29: Jennifer Lawrence, Jodie Foster and Jodie Foster's crutches ("Streep," she explained of her injury. "She I, Tonya-ed me.") took over presenting Best Actress. "None of us will ever forget those who came before us," Lawrence said, before thanking Foster, "who gave me one of my first roles when I was 19." Upon being thanked back for her sweet words, Lawrence shrugged, "I improv'ed it."

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

8:20: Gary Oldman wins Best Actor, presented to him by the incomparable Helen Mirren and Jane Fonda. The Darkest Hour actor and first-time winner looked at the Oscar statuette, his "glorious prize," before saluting Winston Churchill, "marvelous company on what could be described as an incredible journey," and his "dear friend," Denzel Washington.

Photo by Matt Sayles/A.M.P.A.S via Getty Images

8:13: “These four men and Greta Gerwig created their own masterpieces this year,” Emma Stone announced while presenting Best Director. The Oscar was awarded to The Shape of Water's Guillermo del Toro, his first win. "I am an immigrant," he began before getting choked up. "I think the greatest thing that art does and our industry does is erase the lines in the sand. I think we should continue doing that."

8:04: Jennifer Garner is on hand to introduce the In Memoriam segment, which is accompanied by Eddie Vedder performing a lovely cover of Tom Petty's "Room at the Top." The gold-tinted montage ends with a clip of Jerry Lewis and applause from the audience.

8:01: Who better than Emily Blunt and Lin-Manuel Miranda to present Best Original Song? The award goes to "Remember Me" from Coco, a second nomination and second win for Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez. (Who previously won for Frozen's "Let It Go," and made sure to plug the Broadway show!)

7:58: Christopher Walken presents Best Original Score to Alexandre Desplat for The Shape of Water, who starts his speech by saying, "My mother is also turning 90 this year. She will be very happy." For those keeping track at home, that is two for The Shape of Water.

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

7:50: Zendaya called "This Is Me," from The Greatest Showman, "so much more than a piece of music" while welcoming Keala Settle to the stage for her Best Original Song performance. Wearing a sparkling blue gown, Settle hit all the right notes during her show-stopping number, as Viola Davis clapped along enthusiastically in the front row.

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

7:47: "Can we dim it just a little bit? So I can go back to my 40s?" Sandra Bullock deadpanned about the show's lighting and as they dimmed, quipped, "Good thing I'm not presenting with Gal Gadot tonight. It'd be like looking in a mirror for her." She went on to present Best Cinematography to 14-time nominee Roger Deakins for Blade Runner 2049. Deakins looked to his wife to thank her and said, "James? Whatever."

Photo by Matt Petit/A.M.P.A.S via Getty Images

7:35: Jordan Peele wins Best Original Screenplay for Get Out, which he's presented by Nicole Kidman. "You guys are going to mess up my jet ski," Peele joked while accepting his award to extended applause. "I want to dedicate this to everyone who helped me raise my voice," he said of his history-making win, concluding, "I love you all."

7:32: James Ivory won his first ever Oscar -- Best Adapted Screenplay for Call Me By Your Name -- and, at 89 years old, is now the oldest winner in Academy history. "A story that's familiar to most of us, whether straight or gay or somewhere in between," Ivory professed, as Timothée Chalamet looked on the verge of tears.

Photo by Handout/Getty Images

7:25: Annabella Sciorra, Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek, three of Harvey Weinstein's accusers, take the stage together to speak on Time's Up and the "badass" women involved in it and introduce a montage of "trailblazers," espousing intersectional progress -- for race, for gender, for sexual orientation -- that still needs to come.

Photo by Handout/Getty Images

7:18: Dave Chappelle pays tribute to "unsung heroes" as he's introducing Andra Day and Common's performance of "Stand Up For Something" from Marshall. Common began with a spoken word tribute to the Parkland students and Puerto Rico, among others, before Day brought down the house while absolutely belting the song.

Ten activists joined the artists onstage: Alice Brown Otter (Standing Rock Youth Council), Bana Alabed (author and Syrian refugee), Bryan Stevenson (Equal Justice Initiative), Cecile Richards (Planned Parenthood), Dolores Huerta (Dolores Huerta Foundation, United Farm Workers of America), Janet Mock (#GirlsLikeUs), José Andrés (ThinkFoodGroup), Nicole Hockley (Sandy Hook Promise), Patrisse Cullors (Black Lives Matter) and Tarana Burke (Me Too).

7:12: "Hi, Meryl! I want you to be my mama one day!" Tiffany Haddish calls from the stage, before awarding Documentary Short Subject to Heaven Is a Traffic Jam on the 405 and Live Action Short Film to The Silent Child, the latter of whom accepted their award in sign language to honor the short's 6-year-old star.

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

7:10: A shoeless Maya Rudolph and Tiffany Haddish -- our dream 2019 Oscars hosts -- take the stage to joke about #OscarsSoWhite: "When we came out, we know what you were thinking," Haddish joked. "Are the Oscars too black now?!" She then ran down all of the white people who are still in attendance. White people with clipboards, Tiffany Haddish is watching you.

7:05: Outside the movie theater, Mark Hamill shakes Gal Gadot's hand and tells her how nice it is to meet her, while Armie Hammer and Ansel Elgort get ready to shoot hot dogs into the crowd and Guillermo del Toro and Lin-Manuel Miranda are tasked with carrying a six-foot-long submarine sandwich. "There's a strong aroma of marijuana in this theater," Jimmy Kimmel tells the movie goers as they realizes the Oscars can see them and they can see Meryl Streep (and the rest of the Oscar attendees). And then a guy named Mike introduces Tiffany "Tiffany Hachish" Haddish.

6:59: Continuing his shtick from last year, Jimmy Kimmel wants to thank the movie-going public by specifically thanking a theater full of people across the street from the Dolby Theate. To do so, he recruits stars in the audience (Ansel Elgort, Gal Gadot, Lupita Nyong'o, Armie Hammer, Mark Hamill, Margot Robbie and more) to go across and surprise them.

6:56: Matthew McConaughey presents Best Film Editing Dunkirk's Lee Smith. (Fun facts: Smith was last nominated in 2009 for The Dark Knight and, from the looks of it, is probably a full foot taller than Matthew McConaughey.)

6:52:Spider-Man star Tom Holland and Gina Rodriguez (who I would love to see play Spider-Man) present Best Visual Effects to Blade Runner 2049. (Which, unfortunately, means Andy Serkis and the War for the Planet of the Apes franchise will remain unawarded.)

(Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

6:44: Sufjan Stevens enlists Chris Thile, Moses Sumney and St. Felix for an angelic rendition of his Call Me By Your Name theme song, "Mystery of Love." I stopped crying for approximately one second to comment on how much we love Stevens' pink, pinstriped coat.

6:40: As expected, Coco wins Best Animated Feature Film. (Disney and Pixar haven't lost in the category since 2011.) Producer Darla K. Anderson and co-director Adrian Molina got teary eyed as they thanked their wife and husband, respectively, and director Lee Unkrich earned huge applause when he thanked the people of Mexico.

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6:35: Jimmy Kimmel's stick-carrying, Star Wars-loving "9-year-old self" introduces the cast of The Last Jedi -- Mark Hamill, Oscar Isaac, Kelly Marie Tran and BB-8 -- to present Best Animated Short. "Don't say La La Land. Don't say La La Land," Hamill joked, before awarding Dear Basketball. Kobe Bryant is now an Oscar winner.

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6:30: Allison Janney, now and forever, will be known as Academy Award Winner Allison Janney, after winning Best Supporting Actress for I, Tonya. "I did it all by myself," she joked onstage, bursting into laughter. "Nothing could be further from the truth!" And yes, she made sure to thank the bird.

6:22: Rita Moreno makes quite the entrance (would you expect anything less?) to present Best Foreign Language Film to A Fantastic Woman, the first Chilean film to win the award. Director Sebastián Lelio paid special thanks to his "inspiration," star Daniela Vega, who blew a kiss to the audience. (Vega also makes history tonight as the first openly trans presenter at the Oscars.)

6:13: "Viva Mexico!" Gael García Bernal, Miguel and Natalia LaFourcade perform "Remember Me" from Coco, beginning with Bernal's acoustic version before neon lights popped on and mariachi dancers took the stage as Miguel and LaFourcade sang a peppy bilingual rendition of the Best Original Song nominee.

6:10: Lupita Nyong'o presents Best Production Design to The Shape of Water's Paul D. Austerberry, Jeffrey A. Melvin and Shane Vieau. It's the movie's first win of the night -- though likely not its last, considering it earned more nominations than any other film this year.

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6:07: Jimmy Kimmel does some crowd work -- asking Steven Spielberg if he "has any pot" -- and then welcomes to the stage Lupita Nyong'o and Kumail Nanjiani, who discuss their difficult-to-pronounce names. (Nanjiani jokes, "My actual Pakistani name is Chris Pine") and make a pledge to stand with the DREAMers.

5:58:Baby Driver co-stars Ansel Elgort and Eiza González award the Oscar for Best Sound Editing to Alex Gibson and Richard King for Dunkirk and Best Sound Mixing to Mark Weingarten, Gregg Landaker and Gary A. Rizzo for -- again! -- Dunkirk.

5:56: Jimmy Kimmel reads the opening joke from the very first Academy Awards in 1929: "Christopher Plummer is tonight's youngest nominee."

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5:43: Taraji P. Henson introduces "my sister," Mary J. Blige, for a performance of her Mudbound track, "Mighty River," the first of the night's Best Original Song nominees. Blige, dressed in a fuchsia mermaid gown, delivers a killer vocal as fake rain pours down onstage.

5:38: Greta Gerwig and Laura Dern walk onstage holding hands to present Best Documentary. "Congratulations, buddy," Dern says to Gerwig, one of the night's most-nominated filmmakers, before the duo present the award to Icarus, about the Russian doping scandal. "We hope Icarus is a wakeup call," director Bryan Fogel said. "Yes, about Russia, but about telling the truth, now more than ever."

Photo by Matt Petit/A.M.P.A.S via Getty Images

5:30: Eva Marie Saint, who won the Oscar in 1955 for On the Waterfront, gets a standing ovation while paying an emotional tribute to her late husband, director Jeffrey Hayden. She awarded the Costume Design achievement to Phantom Thread's Mark Bridges. House of Woodstock stays slaying!

5:26: Armie Hammer and Gal Gadot present Makeup and Hairstyling to Darkest Hour's Kazuhiro Tsuji, David Malinowski and Lucy Sibbick, for their uncanny work transforming Gary Oldman into Winston Churchill. (Fun fact: Tsuji's last Oscar nomination was for Norbit!)

5:24: Jimmy Kimmel announces that, this year, if anyone's speech goes long "instead of music, you will see and hear this." At which point, Lakeith Stanfield ran onstage, dressed like his Get Out character and screaming, "Get out! Get out! Get out!"

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5:18: If there is going to be an upset in any of the acting categories, it isn't Best Supporting Actor, with Sam Rockwell winning the first Oscar of the night for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. "I'd like to thank the Academy," Rockwell said. "Never thought I'd say those words!"

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5:12: Jimmy Kimmel caps off his opening monologue -- full of politics, naming names and jokes about this year's nominees -- by encouraged tonight's winners to thank their kids and raise attention for their activism. That said, he offered whoever gives the shortest acceptance speech a jet ski, modeled Price Is Right-style by Helen Mirren.

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5:04: Host Jimmy Kimmel jokes about Envelopegate during his opening monologue: "This year, when you hear your name called, don't get up right away." (Jennifer Lawrence -- who is sitting next to Emma Stone -- loved it.) Kimmel then made good on his promise to speak about Time's Up, specifically discussing Harvey Weinstein's expulsion from the Academy and sexual harassment in Hollywood, joking that Oscar is the perfect man because he "keeps his hands where you can see them...and most importantly, no penis at all."

5:00: The 90th Academy Awards preempt "Celebrity Street Fights With Mario Lopez" and kick off with a black-and-white reel poking fun at "Hollywood's godless elitist," including shots at Armie Hammer ("Armie was born when a witch put a curse on a Ken doll!") and Mexican-born, Kenyan-raised Lupita Nyong'o ("Let the tweetstorm from the President's toilet begin!").

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