#eddie quietly says I know you’d choose him too

[bruisedboys]

ok so i think about eddie ordering food for shy reader 😭like he so so would. i know it’s a simple thing but he’s be so sweet about like “i got you sweet thing don’t worry about it” 🥹

I want someone to order food for me tbh. like I’d probably start crying

shy!fem!reader 0.7k words

You’re anxious about it before you even get inside the diner.

Talking to strangers is not your strong suit, and waitresses are no exception. You’ll do anything to avoid ordering your own food, even if it means going without something you actually want, because you’re always so scared of messing up, of making a fool of yourself. It’s silly, really. But you can’t help yourself.

Eddie notices your discomfort not long after it begins.

“Y/N.” Eddie’s ringed finger taps your hand where it’s curled around a menu. “What’s up? You feeling okay?”

You look up from your menu, where you’d been scoring it for the option that’s easiest to get your clumsy tongue around, and meet Eddie’s eyes. He’s a mirror of you, gazing right back with his own menu propped up in front of him.

“I feel fine,” you say. It’s half true.

Eddie scrutinises you for a second. He’s gotten very good at reading you and knowing what you’re thinking without you even opening your mouth.

You try not to look like you’re a bubble of anxiety right now. You’re sure it doesn’t work, but after a moment Eddie shrugs.

“If you say so, babe.” His eyes fall to your menu and he tilts his forehead towards it. “What looks good, hm? What d’you feel like?”

You turn back to your menu. “Maybe the waffles?” You say unsurely. “I don’t know. There’s so much to choose from.”

Eddie hums, his fingers tap tap tapping on the shiny table surface. You watch him put his chin in one hand, elbow propped up in front of him, a dangly bracelet hanging from his wrist. He’s so pretty, so effortlessly cool. You sometimes wish you had his level of coolness. If you ever told him that he’d first, get a huge ego boost and second, tell you you’re way cooler than him and totally out of his league. So not true, you think.

“Waffles sounds good,” Eddie’s saying thoughtfully. “Did you want to get a milkshake, too?” He grins suddenly and meets your eyes. “They have Oreo.”

Your heart does a little stutter at the fact that he always remembers your favourites of everything. Favourite colour, favourite place for takeout, favourite milkshake flavour.

“Yeah, okay,” you agree, smiling big. He’s maybe the sweetest boy you’ve ever met. You forget all about your predicament for a moment.

The moment doesn’t last long. A waitress appears at your table, ready to take your orders.

“What can I get you two today?” She asks sweetly.

There’s no reason to be nervous, there really isn’t, but you can’t help it. Your heart starts pounding like crazy. You’re hastily going through your order in your head, trying to memorise it so you don’t get tongue-twisted, when Eddie beats you to it.

“Uh, okay, I’ll have the hot fudge cake, please,” he says casually, lifting his chin from where it was resting in his hand. Then he gestures to you, elbow braced on the table. “And she’ll have … the waffles, right, babe?”

He’s looking at you, smiling softly. His brown eyes all sweet and understanding. You’re stunned, but not surprised. Because of course he’s figured out what’s bothering you and saved you from it, without even having to ask. You nod soundlessly and offer the waitress a weak smile.

She jots down the orders and smiles at both of you. “Anything else?”

“Oh yeah, one Oreo milkshake, please,” Eddie adds with a grin, winking at you across the table. “Thanks a lot.”

The waitress takes your menus and you watch her go. Your heart’s still thumping, but you’re not sure if it’s the lingering anxiety or your complete and utter infatuation with your boyfriend. You’d put your bets on the second.

You turn back to said boyfriend and give him your best, most grateful smile.

“Thanks, Eds,” you say quietly. You try to sound as grateful as you feel. It makes your words all sticky and sweet. Lovesick, almost. You can’t bring yourself to be embarrassed about it.

Eddie grins and reaches across the table to take your hand in his. His rings are warm against your skin, his thumb warmer as it rubs over the back of your hand.

“Don’t worry about it, sweet thing,” he says. He pushes his fingers between yours, the heels of your hand pressing together on the table. “I got you.”

-

[munson-blurbs]

Eddie, diary, detention ^^

Oh, y'all are getting sick of Eddie fluff fics? Too bad, sorry xoxoxo 💚

Warnings: none, all fluff!

WC: 1.2k

--

“Goddamn Carver,” Eddie mutters to himself, slinging his backpack onto the desk and plopping into the attached chair. “Always running his goddamn mouth and then pulling the ‘But I have basketball practice’ excuse to get outta trouble.” He brings his voice up to a grating falsetto, mocking the jock’s whiny tone. “But does Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson get the same courtesy for his Hellfire campaigns? No, sir, he does not.”

“Wonderful monologue, Mr. Munson,” Mrs. O’Donnell says dryly, heels clacking as she walks through the open doorway. “Perhaps you’ll be a playwright in your next life.”

“Like one lifetime isn’t enough,” Eddie grumbles, low enough so his least favorite teacher can’t hear him. 

O’Donnell peers at him over her horn-rimmed glasses. “You know the drill better than I do, Mr. Munson,” she scoffs with a wry smile. “One hour. No talking, no music, no funny business. You may do homework if you’d like, though I don’t anticipate you choosing now to act like a star student.” 

Eddie slumps down into his seat. He’d already counted all the ceiling tiles last week when he ended up here after shoving Patrick for picking on Dustin Henderson. Guess I’ll start on the floor tiles now, he thinks grimly. 

He makes it to 28 before something catches his eye. In one of the baskets underneath a desk is a purple leather-bound notebook. The way it’s resting halfway out of the basket looks like it had fallen out of a backpack or accidentally left behind. It’s too fancy to only be used for school, and it piques his curiosity. 

“Uh, Mrs. Oh-Dee?” Eddie blurts out, shooting his hand up in the air. “Can I grab a textbook? I think I’m gonna take you up on that homework offer.”

The teacher rolls her eyes. “Fine,” she quips. “And for the last time, stop calling me that.”

But Eddie’s already scrambling to the seat, plucking the journal from its spot and shielding it with a history book. As soon as he opens the cover, his eyes widen. 

This diary belongs to is printed on the first page, with a name handwritten in neat cursive underneath. 

“Shit,” Eddie breathes, earning a scowl from O’Donnell. This is your diary. 

Eddie doesn’t have too many classes with you; you’re in mostly honors courses, while he’s in his third senior year. But you do take health together, and he constantly finds himself stealing glances at you whenever he can. 

He knows he shouldn’t read any further; he can close the diary and turn it into the Lost and Found box. But Eddie Munson’s never been known for his impulse control, and before he knows it, he’s skimming the pages. 

Most of the entries don’t draw too much of his attention. There’s one from a few weeks ago about an argument you had with your best friend, but Eddie’s seen you two laughing together since then, so he assumes all’s well. A few days ago, you’d just written, “that history test was a bitch” accompanied by a frowning face. Eddie laughs quietly, knowing you’d probably aced it. 

It’s the entry after that where he finds what he’s looking for. 

Mr. Ellison paired me up with Eddie today! We had to work on an anti-smoking poster together, which was ironic, because he reeked of cigarettes. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, and I thought he was going to ask me out, but he didn’t. Guess he’s not into shy nerdy girls. Then again, who would be?

Eddie’s heart sinks into his stomach. If you only knew how much he wants to take you to dinner, hold hands across the table, maybe kiss you after splitting an ice cream sundae. He had planned on asking you out that day, only to wimp out at the last second. 

He hastily tears out the page and pulls out a number two pencil that’s sharpened down to a nub. In the margins next to your entry, he draws and arrow and writes:

He’s definitely into shy nerdy girls, but he didn’t think you’d be into loud metalheads. Meet me at my locker tomorrow before health?

He slips the diary into his bag, vowing to put the note in your locker after his prison sentence—erm, detention, is over. 

~

The next day, Eddie waits by his locker in between second and third periods. His heart pounds in his chest, and his stomach is doing that flip-flop thing it does before a gig. He relaxes a bit when he sees you walking towards him, note in hand. 

“Hey,” you say softly, holding up the sheet of paper. “Did you…”

Eddie laughs nervously. “Y-Yeah, that was me,” he admits. 

Your ears heat up, suddenly bashful. When you found the note, you’d assumed it was some prank by one of the jocks. The fact that it actually was Eddie gives you heart palpitations. “I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” you manage. 

“I didn’t know you felt that way about me till, y’know, I read it,” Eddie mumbles, hoping you’re not too angry about that. 

You cross your arms over your chest. “So, we’re just snooping through diaries now? A bit juvenile, dontcha think?” But your tone is light, despite the truthfulness of your statement. 

“It, um, wasn’t my finest moment,” Eddie’s cheeks turn pink as he reaches into his bag, “which is why I wanted to show you this.” He pulls out a tattered composition book and hands it to you. “It’s not as cute as yours—oh, which I also have, heh.” He offers you your beloved purple journal. 

“Thanks,” you mutter, ensuring that it’s now safely stored in your own backpack before bringing your attention back to his notebook. “What’s this?”

Eddie bites his lower lip anxiously. “It’s my lyric book,” he explains sheepishly. “But not the one I show the guys. This has all my lovey-dovey songs in it. Y’know, shit they’d kick my ass for.” Another nervous chuckle. “They’re, um, they’re about you.”

“Me?!” you ask incredulously. 

“Yeah,” he smiles, letting his fingertips graze your hand. “Figured it was only fair, since I totally read your stuff.”

You flip through the pages, heart warming at the words etched on them. Lyrics like, her smile melts me like snow on my tongue/grow old together but we’ll always feel young make you giggle. “These are really good,” you muse. 

Eddie wrinkles his nose. “Not too corny?”

“Oh, no,” you tease him, “they are extremely corny. But I’m a sucker for a good rhyme scheme, so…” You trail off as Eddie grins. 

“Maybe I could play them for you sometime? Like after school today?” He winces, hoping he doesn’t sound as desperate as he thinks he does. 

You nod. “I’d like that.”

“Cool.” Eddie closes his locker and turns to you slowly, a mischievous twinkle in his chocolate brown eyes. “Actually, what do you say we ditch health and hang out at mine? I promise I’m a lot more interesting than whatever Ellison is going to lecture us about today.”

You peer around the hallway, making sure it’s clear of teachers before slipping your hand into Eddie’s larger, calloused one. “Let’s blow this joint.”

“That’s my girl.”

--

[corroded-hellfire]

Oneforthemunny's Summer Writing Game

A collaboration with @munson-blurbs for @oneforthemunny's Summer Writing Game 💛

Older Eddie edit made by @eddiemunsons-missingnipple

Prompt: 🌊 you. eddie. water balloon / water gun fight. how does it start? choose your weapon lol. who wins? what’s the prize ;) ? is it just you two or others? with older!dilf!eddie

Bug and I had so much fun writing this! We all know older!eddie and dad!eddie are my two weaknesses so is it really a surprise this would be my choice Eddie AU to write for? Thank you for hosting this event @oneforthemunny!

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), public sex (kinda?)

Words: 1.5k

The summer day is hot, the steamy air making the thin material of your white sundress stick to your back. Eddie’s wearing one of his plethora of black t-shirts and you wonder how he can stand to be out in this heat wearing black. He wipes some sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand before making another attempt to pry open the plastic packaging of Delilah’s latest toy. She was just put down for her nap so the two of you figured you’d have some time together while you get her new toys all ready for her. 

“You couldn’t have bought her a doll?” you ask. 

Eddie shrugs one shoulder, never taking his eyes off the frustrating binds he’s trying to break. “She wanted the water guns. Very stubborn, you know that.”

“Huh, wonder where she gets that from…” you teasingly muse as you dunk the purple water gun into the bucket of water in front of you to fill it up. Yours is the purple, Delilah’s is the pink one that’s already full and sitting on the porch behind you, and Eddie’s is the blue one he’s currently wrestling with.

“Aha,” he exclaims. “Got the fucker.” 

Once your water gun is fully loaded, you slide the bucket over in front of Eddie so he can do the same.

“I mean,” Eddie says as he holds the plastic weapon under water, “I think this will come in handy for me as well.”

You furrow your brow in confusion as you watch him remove the fully fueled toy. “For what?”

Instead of replying, Eddie decides to go for a demonstration. He quickly turns and sprays the water gun at you, soaking the material right over your boobs. 

“Hey!” You stand up from the floor and look down at the practically see-through material that is clinging to your chest. Eddie knew you weren’t wearing a bra, too. He’d seen the opportunity and he took it. “I’m not even armed!” The purple water gun is sitting closer to Delilah’s now, it having been nowhere near your grip when your husband attacked. 

“Sorry, Bunny.”

He is not sorry. If the barely suppressed smirk on his face wasn’t enough of a give away, he leans back and shoots water in the exact same spot on your dress, the material translucent at this point. 

“Eddie!”

“Shhh, you’re going to wake her up.” His smirk is even more prevalent now and it turns you on just as much as it annoys you. 

You snatch up your gun, finger ready on the trigger. For a moment, you’re unsure where to shoot him, but the chilly air against your breasts provides some inspiration. 

Before he can figure out what you’re doing, you lower your arm slightly and aim for his crotch. Water sprays along the seam of his jeans, staining the denim a darker blue. 

“Hey! Not cool!” Eddie grumbles. He twists to try and block the stream from hitting him; to his dismay, you’re determined. “Bunny, seriously! Makin’ me look like I pissed myself.”

You shrug, unaffected by his concerns. “Take your pants off if you’re that worried,” you suggest simply.”

“Maybe I will.”

As he starts to unbuckle his pants, you quietly tiptoe until you’re behind him, shooting him in the ass the moment his pants are low enough. 

He yells out in surprise. “Jesus H. Christ! It’s a water gun, not an enema!”

You giggle, running out from the porch and into the backyard so you’re out of spraying distance.  

Your husband puts on little huffy act and tosses his pants on a chair before strolling out after you. “Real mature,” he tuts disapprovingly, but the smile dancing on his lips hints at his real feelings  

“You shot me in the boobs first!” you protest, motioning towards the wet spot on your chest that leaves your nipples completely visible. 

While you’re complaining, Eddie seizes the opportunity to try and shoot at you, but you dodge him just before the spray hits you. 

“Ha! Catch me if you can!” You call out, shooting haphazardly in his direction before hiding behind Delilah’s playhouse.

Eddie crouches behind the grill and his knees give off a loud crack, making him wince and you cackle. 

“Too old for a fight, huh?” You taunt him, pressing the trigger over and over while simultaneously darting back and forth to take cover. 

Eddie grins when he successfully avoids your onslaught of water. “You’ll never take me alive!” He proudly declares, blissfully unaware of his depleted arsenal. He raises the water gun and squeezes the trigger, frowning when nothing comes out. “Dammit!” He flings it to the ground where it lands with a thud. 

You grin, offering a victory dance that involves you twirling around him obnoxiously. “And Bunny is the champion!” you announce, mimicking a sports announcer. “It looks like Eddie Munson, the loser, will have to give in to her every whim and desire!”

“And what might Bunny desire, hmm?”

“Well, your pants are already off…” You step back into the porch and pull your dress off over your head, leaving you in just your cotton panties. Your husband is shell-shocked for a moment before regaining his composure and pulling you towards the house. 

You shake your head. “We’ll wake Delilah.”

“So then…” Eddie’s eyebrows pinch together in confusion; his naivety is adorably endearing. 

Placing your hands on his hips, you guide him back towards the porch swing until the back of his knees hit it. Finally getting the hint, Eddie sits down, and you climb right on top of him. Settling yourself as you straddle him, you lock your hands together at the base of his neck and start peppering kisses along his scruffy stubbled jawline. 

Eddie wastes no time and slips a hand down between your legs. Pushing your panties to the side, you hear a groan reverberate deep in his throat.

“Ride my fingers, Bunny. Need you nice ‘n wet for me.”

“Isn’t that what the water gun was for?” you tease in a low, seductive tone. 

Eddie doesn’t bother to retort as he grips your thigh with one hand and slides the fingers on his other deep inside of you. Having his thick digits in you has you biting your lip as you rock back and forth in his lap. Your clit rubs against Eddie’s hand with every thrust of your hips, and it has you soaking your husband’s fingers already.

“That’s it, good girl…” Eddie keeps his steady pace, knowing he just has to keep doing what he’s doing, and you’ll be falling apart in no time. 

“Shit, Eddie,” you hiss out, fingernails digging into the thin t-shirt covering Eddie’s shoulders. Your hips work quicker against his hand and Eddie leans in to graze his teeth against your ear, knowing that will send you over the edge. “Ah—m’coming.”

“That’s it, baby.” Eddie coaxes you through it. He feels your walls spasm around his fingers, and he rubs his other hand up and down your thigh soothingly. “That’s my girl.”

You don’t allow yourself much time to recover from your orgasm before you’re lifting yourself off of Eddie’s hand and shoving his boxers down. His thick cock is hard, and you stroke it a few times as you align him with your entrance. Matching moans echo throughout the porch as both you and Eddie feel the ecstasy of him filling you up. 

Once you’re fully seated on his cock, you give yourself a moment to adjust before lifting your body back up and impaling yourself on him again and again. 

“Fuck, Bunny. Grippin’ my cock s’perfect.”

The temptation to let out a string of pleasurable groans is too strong, so you bury your face in your husband’s neck. 

“What’s the matter?” Eddie goads, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. “Worried the neighbors will hear how good I’m giving it to you?”

The only response you can muster is some whimpers against Eddie’s sweaty skin. As both of your hips keep working in tandem, the porch swing starts to creak, and you seize the opportunity to tease him right back.

“Those your joints cracking, old man?”

“Oh, Bunny. You’re gonna regret sayin’ that.”

Eddie slightly changes his position so he’s able to better pound up into you. You’re immediately seeing stars and you have to hold onto him for dear life. It feels like he’s on a mission to obliterate your pussy. 

“Bunny, fuck, y’feel too damn good.”

“‘M gonna cum, too. Holy shit, don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop!”

Eddie’s nearing his release too, and the way your walls milk his cock as your orgasm hits sends him over the edge, cumming right alongside you. 

Both of you are catching your breath when a little yip gets your attention. You look over and see your elderly neighbor out in her backyard with her dog. She’s obviously seen the two of you and absolute mortification settles over you. This time when you hide your face in Eddie’s neck, it’s for a very different reason. 

“I mean,” Eddie says, “she always tells us how Delilah needs a baby sibling now that Bri’s in college. Guess she just got proof that we’re workin’ on it.”

[madnessformunson]

she’s all i wanna be

Summary: you are insecure in your relationship with Eddie

Warnings: reader has a negative body image, mean girl behavior, bullying

I have no idea why the formatting is so weird lol

Your relationship with Eddie was new. It was fun and exciting but also scary. You had never had feelings like this for anyone before. He always made time for you, recently skipping D&D or cutting band practice short so he could squeeze in more time to spend with you. Because Eddie’s world was newly revolving around your every move, his friends were getting annoyed with you and your constant presence.

You walk into the cafeteria and sit at your usual spot at the Hellfire table. You didn’t know if you should without Eddie, but he had to meet with Miss Click about his last test grade. He assured you that the boys would love to have you sit with them.

You quietly sit and greet them with a weak smile and wave.

“Oh hey y/n, where is Eddie? Gareth questioned.

“He had to meet with Miss Click to go over his last exam, hope you don’t mind me sitting here” you said as you unpacked the contents of your lunchbox.

“And you aren’t waiting outside the classroom for him to be done” Jeff let out with a weak laugh.

Your face flushed because you had actually thought of doing that.

“I don’t get how he isn’t completely tired of you always hanging around him and pulling him away from what he loves. It’s so confusing since just a few months ago he couldn’t shut up about his crush on Chrissy, and now he’s with you instead” Mike said cruelly.

Your face was still red hot and you were fighting back the tears in your eyes.

“I guess he just settled for the off brand Chrissy” Jeff said with a laugh, as the rest of the boys chucked with him.

You quickly stood up and grabbed your belongings not able to listen anymore.

“Hey, we were just joking with you!” Mike called out and you ran out.

You left the school down an old trail you and Eddie frequently took when you just needed to get away. You headed to the rusted bench to take a minute to yourself when you heard Eddie’s laugh. You peer through the bushes only to see Eddie dramatically falling onto the ground in front of the one and only Chrissy Cunningham.

She was definitely flirting with him, twisting her perfect blonde hair as she asked him about Corroded Coffin. You saw enough, taking off to head in the direction of your house.

On your way home you couldn’t help but think negatively of yourself. She was definitely prettier than you. She had a smaller waist, long blonde hair and came from money. You didn’t have anything like that to offer, you’d probably choose her too.

As you walked past the drug store, you had a moment of thinking “maybe I can look like her” as you wondered in looking for some hair dye. You decided on a box of bleach, thinking that adding some highlights could maybe help your look.

As soon as you got home you rushed to the bathroom and locked the door behind you. You pull out the instructions and read them over 3 times to ensure you know what you are doing. You decided you were ready, you started to mix the chemicals that smelt so strong you were sure you’d get high from the fumes. As neatly as you could you applied the paste to your hair and let it be for 45 minutes. You rinse the chemical off, throwing your hair up in a towel on your head as you wipe the fog off the mirror.

Then you were horrified. Once you pulled the towel off all you could feel was instant regret. Your roots were white blonde while other pieces were bright orange and another section still your original color. You were panicking trying to figure out your next move when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

“Hey y/n dad said dinner is ready” your little sister, El informed you.

You muttered some profanities before saying, “tell him I’m not hungry!”

You suddenly hear heavy footsteps approaching the bathroom door.

“None of that y/n, come on we are eating dinner” Hopper insisted.

“Sorry I can’t” you blurt out.

“Excuse me? You can’t? Open this door right now y/n”

You knew you couldn’t win. You slowly opened the door to reveal the mess you were currently dealing with.

“What the hell y/n” Hopper said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I know it looks really bad -“ you start

“Really bad is an understatement” El cuts you off with a giggle. You give her a death stare and she runs down the hallway.

“I can call Joyce tomorrow to see if she can come help you fix it after school,” Hopper said, rubbing his face with his hand.

“After school?! Dad no way that’s too long”

“She’s at work y/n, you’ll just have to wear a hat or something” he says as he lets out a laugh.

You continue just to give him an annoyed glare.

The next morning you tuck all of your hair into a beanie, then place the hood of your sweatshirt over top to further disguise yourself.

As you make your way downstairs for school, your father sees you and chuckles.

“I don’t know why you think this is funny” you say as you pour your bowl of cereal.

“This is one of those moments I will never let you forget,” he replies.

You just have to get through today, stay low and avoid Eddie that all you have to do. Standing at your locker you grab the books you need as you notice Eddie approaching you with a smile and wave. You took off to your class taking your seat and opening your book up as quickly as possible to bury your head in.

“Hey y/n I tried to call you last night but you didn’t answer” Eddie said as he took his seat behind you, chains hitting onto the desk.

“I was busy” you reply coldly.

“Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” He said leaning forward.

Thankfully the bell rang and Miss Click walked in already telling everyone to quiet down.

“Ok class today I want you to turn to page 110- yes Miss Cunningham?” Miss Click said as Chrissy raised her hand.

“I just was thinking I’m pretty sure it’s against the dress code to wear hats inside and I just don’t think it would be fair if certain people were an exception to the rules”

“Why yes that is a rule, Miss Hopper you need to remove your hood”

Your heart sunk and your face instantly got red. You sat there like a statue for a minute trying to decide what to do.

“Miss Hopper if you don’t remove the hood this instant I will have to send you to the principal's office to call you father.”

You slowly pull the hood back and stare at Miss Click.

“The beanie too dear” Miss Click said.

As you pull it off your head you can hear the whole room gasp followed by laughter.

“Oh my” is all Miss Click could get out before you grabbed your books and bolted out of the room. You faintly heard Eddie calling your name but you didn’t turn back, you headed straight home with tears running down your face.

[justmeinadaze]

Unattainable Part IX (Eddie X Theater Girl)

A/N: I genuinely took my time with this one. Not that I don't with the other stuff I write but lol I think I read and reread this a billion and one times.

Warnings: *holds up hands dramatically* TIS TIME! Loss of Virginity for my beautiful theater girl. Eddie is sweet and adorable (as always). Some scenes of her past memories, slight trauma triggers but nothing too dramatic.

Word Count: 3900

“Eddie! Oh my god. You should just ask for more fries!” I giggle as he reaches over to steal a fry for the second time from my basket of food. 

I had been staying at the Munson residence for a couple of days now. My dad never tried to call back and my mother never came looking for me. Wayne asked if I would feel comfortable with him driving to my house to explain to her that I was safe. 

“Pfft”, Eddie scoffs. “You’d be wasting your breath.”

“I wasn’t asking you, Eddie.”

I told him it was fine and when I saw him again he said that she appreciated him telling her. 

“Is…is she okay?” I ask as quietly as possible so Eddie wouldn’t hear from the bedroom. Wayne removed his cap and rubbed the top of his head.

“Physically she seems to be. I can’t imagine anyone who smells like bar floor is really ok.” I look away guiltily. “Hey. Um, I think you two being away from each other is good for her. Maybe she’ll realize she needs to shape up; be a better mom.”

I respond with a tiny half smile. He’s way more optimistic about that then I’ll ever be. 

Eddie insisted we still get out of the Hawkins for the day so we got in his van and made our way up north. We stopped for lunch at this diner called “Oasis” and got two baskets of burgers and fries. After inhaling his meal, he was now trying to pick at mine. 

“But your fries are so much better. Ow!” He jumps as I lightly kick him under the table with my shoe. “Well shit. I’m not taking you to the arcade then.”

My eyes narrow in his direction as I reach for a fry and hold it in his direction. As he leans in to take it, I pull it away at the last second and take a bite. He sticks his tongue out me and I bunch up my nose to mock him. 

A few miles up from the diner is a huge arcade with wall-to-wall games to play. When we step inside it is packed with kids ranging from elementary to about our age. In the back corner there are pool tables under clouds of smoke from the patrons that were playing. There was a bar in the middle of the room where some people were sitting and watching a football game.

“I’m going to get some change. Go find a game.” He kisses my temple before he disappears. I walk along the wall looking at the selection. I stop when I see a game I used to be familiar with; Galaga. 

“Okay, baby girl, sit right here.” My dad picks me up and places me on a stool near the side of the machine. “Now watch and learn. These were the moves that got your mom to marry me.”

My mom smiles as she rolls her eyes at him. “Calm down, Danny.” She leans down near my ear and whispers loud enough so my dad can hear. “I took pity on him because he was so terrible at it.”

“Abby, stop telling our child lies.” They both laugh as he leans across me to give her a quick peck on the lips. 

 “Oh! Good choice.” Eddie comes up next to me, shaking his cup of quarters. “You want to go first?”

“Sure.” I plaster a smile on my face. He kneels, puts a few coins in, and hops onto the stool next to me. The music starts to play as the game comes to life. I try to focus on the ship as it targets the little alien bugs above it but I feel my brain start to wonder.

My dad glances over, catching my mother adjusting the watch on her wrist. 

“Got a hot date?”

“No”, my mother replies with an edge. “I was just checking the time.”

“Why? We don’t have anywhere to be.” His eyes stay on the monitor as his fingers repeatedly smash the button on the consol. 

“I do tomorrow morning. Some of us still have to work.”

Dad doesn’t say anything, choosing to focus on the task in front of him. 

“You know what? I’ll go wait by the car. Come out when you’re done.” She sighs and stomps her way out the front door. There’s the faint sound of an explosion coming from the game. My dad doesn’t move. I see his head hang for few seconds before he finally turns to me with a big grin on his face. 

“Come on, little one. Let’s go home.”

“Sweetheart?” I turn my head to the left to see Eddie is no longer sitting but hovering over me. “You okay?”

I furrow my eyebrows, sighing. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit rusty I guess.” I push at the game with my sneaker as I smile up at him. “You should go next. Show me how it’s done.” 

As I start to step aside, I feel his arms wrap around me from behind. He gently nudges me forward with his hips, taking my hands, and placing them back on the controls. He lets go only long enough to put some more money in and move my hair to one side as he rest his chin on my shoulder. The screen in front of us lights up as the level begins. With his hands guiding mine, we start to play. 

Safe. I am safe. 

“I wish you would tell me where you go.” Eddie’s voice is low in my ear. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” I joke trying to distract him but I can see in the reflection of the screen in front of me that he’s not falling for it. I feel his breath heat up my skin as he sighs. The next level begins to start.

“I can’t.”

“Because?” 

The game makes a congratulatory sound as a small cut scene plays.

Tell him. Let him know what he’s in for. Go ahead! Geez, you’re so pathetic! How do you expect to—

“My parents used to hang out at arcades when they were younger. They would sit me on a stool like this or another machine and I would just watch them play. After a while it was just me and dad going. Then it was just me.”

The ship crashes into a bug and explodes. Eddie pulls my hands off the controls and wraps my arms around my chest cocooning me against him. I turn my head to look at him. “I’m just happy to be able to create new memories here with you.”

He smiles down at me, placing a kiss on my forehead. “That is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard. Why are you so obsessed with me?” He rolls his eyes playfully as I lightly elbow him. Eddie pretends to fall letting go of one of my arms as he twists the other one making me twirl in a circle. “Come on, Sweetheart. Let’s go make some memories.”

########################################

After spending a few more hours at the arcade, it was time to head home. Halfway through our drive it had started pouring rain. When we got back to the trailer, we had to make a mad dash to the door. 

“Jesus! It’s really coming down!” Eddie shakes his hands through his hair.

“I-I-I-I am regret-t-t-ting wearing shorts-s-s-s.” I say as my teeth begin to chatter. His head whips around and notices I’m completely soaked. 

“Oh my god.” Eddie tries to control the smile that begins creeping across his face at my words. 

“D-D-Don’t laugh, you jerk!” I hug my arms around myself and head towards his room. Eddie makes a quick detour into the bathroom and grabs a towel. As I sit down on the bed, he flops down beside me and runs the towel over my arms trying to warm me up. 

“Better?” he asks. 

“Y-Y-Yes. Thank you.” Eddie keeps chuckling at me. “Stoooop! Dork. I’m going to go shower really quick.”

####################################

As soon as I step out of the shower, there’s a loud crack of thunder followed by the lights going out. 

“Whoa! Ok, babe. One second!” Eddie shouts from his room. I hear his feet shuffle around and then a light knock on the door before he opens it just enough to push his hand through. He’s holding a lit candle in his hand. I thank him as I grab it and he closes the door. Now that I can see I search the bathroom for my bag so I can put on my pajamas. 

Uh oh. I do three circles before I realize I forgot it in Eddie’s room. As I reach for the doorknob so I can ask him to bring it to me something makes me freeze. I turn and look at myself in the mirror. 

You are beautiful. You love him. You trust him. Go for it.

Whore.

No, I’m not. I’m not!  I am safe. HE is safe with me.

With the towel wrapped around me, I grab the candle and open the door making my way to Eddie’s room. His back is to me as he lights a couple more candles and I place the one I’m holding on his dresser. He had changed while I was in the shower, putting on a simple black shirt and sweatpants. 

“Hey, so I don’t think we are going to get any food delivered in this. Do you want me to try and find something or—” His sentence is cut short as he finally turns around. His jaw falls slightly open as he tries to keep forming words. 

I move forward slowly towards him. “I was thinking we could try something.”

Thunder shakes the trailer causing Eddie to jump, juggling the lighter in his hands before it falls to the floor with his failed attempt to catch it. We both laugh but his comes out slightly more nervous. 

“Wow. Did I just cause thee Eddie Munson to become speechless?” I cock my head to the side as the grin on my face grows. 

“Yeah, well, um”, his hand flies up to rub the back of his neck. “It happens when I’m thrown off.”

“Thrown off in a good way or a bad way?” I ask trying to sound as confident as possible. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

“Definitely a good way, my lady.” His eyes shift between me and the floor as if he’s unsure of where to look. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was a little nervous.”

I’m now directly in front of him, standing so close my hair shifts with the wind of his breath near my face. “Why?”

“Well, I mean, I’m a guy. Guys get nervous and”, his eyes meet mine, “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

I reach up, placing a hand on his cheek. “You could never disappoint me.” I open my hand that’s holding the towel around me and it falls to the floor around my feet. “I trust you.”

He leans forward with his hands pulling my lips to his. As we kiss, Eddie slowly guides us back towards his bed. The back of my legs touches the cold metal of the bedframe and I let go of him to climb on the mattress. On my knees I left myself up so we’re face to face. I reach below him to take off his shirt and he raises his arms to left it over his head, tossing it casually to the floor. My hands move down his chest, brushing over every tattoo and beauty mark on his skin. My lips land on his shoulder as they make their way towards his neck. I feel his chest pressed against me exhale in as a small mewl escapes from his throat. His fingers become entangled in my hair holding me to him. 

Eddie tilts his head down so he can capture my lips with his. Tilting my palm downward, I glide it down into his sweats. He whimpers slightly when my hand wraps around his already hard cock. I lean my head back so I can look at him. His eyes are closed with his mouth hung open. I watch him as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip and hums in pleasure. It’s weird for me to be able to have this effect on someone especially Eddie. 

He always seemed so confident and strong. On the outside he looked like he didn’t care about anything and had everything all together. To see him come undone like this; it was wonderful.

“You look really good like this.” I whisper.

He opens his eyes to look at me. Eddie hadn’t realized I was watching his face. “Like what?”

As I scoot my body closer to his, I reach over and pull the waist band of his pants low enough to pull his cock free. Without the constriction of his sweats, I can move my hand a bit faster. His eyes start to close again as he leans his head forward to rest on my shoulder. 

I press my lips to his ear. “Like this.” 

“Oh my god” Eddie’s arms wrap around my waist as he abruptly pushes me flat against the bed. He lets me go and shoves his pants off the rest of the way leaving him completely naked. He starts to crawl up the length of my body stopping at my stomach. I watch him as he runs his tongue from my belly button up to my chest between my breasts. With his right hand he reaches up to run his fingers of my nipple causing a small whimper to fall from my lips. I run my hand through his wavy mane as he takes my other nipple into his mouth sucking on it delicately.

His soft lips gradually make their way up to my neck. He pulls back to look down at me affectionately as his hand comes up to caress my cheek. 

“Have you done this before?” Eddie asks, his voice laced with nothing but compassion and care. 

“This exactly, no.” My voice comes out a bit shakier than I wanted it to. “Have you?” I’m not sure why I asked. I already knew the answer and he confirms it with a nod.

“Does that bother you?”

“No. Makes me feel a little better, like you know what to do. I just, um, I may not be any good at first.” Eddie tilts his head to the side with an amused smile as his hand slides down to my tummy. “I just mean *I* don’t know what I’m doing.” His smile turns into a big grin as I feel my face flush with embarrassment. He grips my leg closest to him and pulls it over his hip as he runs his hand along my calf up to my thigh. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m nervous to.”

I swallow down a moan at the familiar feeling of his fingers opening my folds as he rubs his middle finger between them. His mouth gradually leans down to meet mine quickly before making their way down my jawline. 

“I got you, ok?” I feel his finger invade my entrance causing me to groan and turn my head into his voice. I wanted, needed to hear more of him. “I’m going to take care of you. You don’t have to be nervous or scared. You’re safe with me.” He turns his head slightly and leans up on his elbow to look at me again. His eyes meet mine as he slides a second finger into me pumping them in and out at a slow pace. 

“Eddie” I moan as I claw at the sheets trying to control that need to grab his wrist. He notices and smiles to himself. My leg drops from around him as he moves down the bed, situating his upper body between my legs. He pulls both my legs up over his shoulders and then reaches on either side of me to grab my hands and places them in his hair. He gives me a wink before his face disappears and I feel his tongue flick at my clit. 

I gasp out his name excitedly as I tug at his hair. Crafty bastard. He knew I could grab and claw at his head and hair and it only push him further into me. He definitely didn’t mind it either. With every light pull of his hair he hummed against me making me squirm. Eddie inserted his two fingers back inside of me while his tongue continued its assault. The coil in my belly snapped and his hand flew up quickly to hold my hips as he licked and suckled me through it. 

“Eddie…I…stop…need a minute.” I said between pants trying to catch my breath. I felt him get up and watch him through hooded eyes as he rummages through his dresser drawer, coming back with a condom. He tore the foil with his teeth and tossed it on the floor causing me to let out a breathy giggle. 

“What?” he asked as he looked down at me from the side of the bed. 

“Nothing. It’s just”, I point near his bed side table, “there’s a trashcan right there.”

He lazily reaches his hand towards it before dropping it back to his side shaking his head. “Eh. Too far.”

I laugh at him then and continue to watch his slide on the condom in his hand. He gently hops back on the bed and lays down on top of me. His head bends down to kiss the edge of my nose. 

“I love your laugh. It’s so beautiful.”

I reach up with my hand and brush the crazy strands of hair that fell out of his face. “I love you.”

Eddie reaches his hand down to grab his cock and guide it toward my pussy. My stomach starts doing little nervous slips and I, a bit too quickly, wrap my hands around his shoulders. He places a delicate kiss on my lips before he whispers “I love you to. Are you ok?”

I let out a timid chuckle. “You know you ask me that a lot.”

A gigantic smile spread across his face. “You’re right. I should stop caring.” He slowly pushes himself into me. 

We both let moan but mine comes out a little sharper. He starts making slow forward and back motions with his hips inching his way further in. During one particular movement, my brows furrow together as I let out hiss. Eddie immediately stops moving, eyes flying up to meet mine with concern. 

“It’s ok. I’m ok. It just hurt a little bit. Please don’t stop.” I crane my neck to reach his lips as he resumes his original pace. 

“Oh wow”, I exhale when I feel him fully sheathed inside of me. Eddie’s forehead had been leaning against my own. His eyes were squeezed shut trying to control his body as best he could. 

“Good wow or bad wow?” he breathed out, wetting his lips. 

“Good wow. I think”, I roll my hips slightly causing Eddie to growl. “I think you can move a little faster.”

With that his own hips start to thrust at a confident pace. I felt my eyes roll back as I whimpered his name. His head lulled forward and I could feel him breathing heavily into my neck. I positioned my arms around his neck pulling him as close to me as I could. Eddie reached down to grab my leg and wrap it around his waist. 

“Hey.” I whispered in his ear. “Babe.” He grunted in response. “Look at me, Eddie.” His head lifted, his eyes meeting mine. “I know you like watching me cum.” I smiled up at him. His pace slowed as he thrust into me harder. I watched him as he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them, before reaching down to rub fast circles on my clit. My pussy started clenching around him and we both exclaimed at the same time.

“Fuck!”

“Fucking hell!”

My back arched as I felt that familiar coil snap. Eddie started groaning above me as his hips began to sputter. I opened my eyes as he closed his and with a few more aggressive thrusts he came into the condom.

His hair had fallen around his face slightly blocking my view of him. His gorgeous brown eyes met mine as I moved his ruffled fluff out of his face. 

“I wasn’t lying you know. You really do look good like this.” He smirked at me as he carefully pulled himself out of me, taking off the condom, and throwing it in the trash. I let out a fake gasp. “Did you just throw something in the trash?”

He glared at me playfully as rolled back over on his side to face me. I slid closer to him as he slung his arm over my waist. We laid like that for a while with Eddie’s hand rubbing up and down my back and arm. As peaceful as it was, his silence made me a little nervous. 

“You okay?”

He tries to contain his smile as he mimics my voice. “You ask me that a lot.” Giggling at his impression, I lightly push at his shoulder. “Yeah. I’m good. Better than I’ve been in a while.” He props himself up on his elbow. “I know this was a big step for you. I, um, not many people trust me. Usually they see this mean, scary dude and…” Eddie’s voice starts to trail off. “What I’m trying to say is thank you for trusting a freak like me.” 

I prop up on my own elbow as I reach over with my other hand to lift his chin. “I don’t think you’re a freak. I never have.”

As Eddie leans in to give me a kiss, the lights in the trailer spring on. “Well, shit.” He dramatically rolls off the bed onto the floor making me laugh. “I know I had pants at one point.” He starts sifting through the pile on the floor. I lean over the bed where I knew he had left his boxers and throw them at his chest. “Oof. Why thank you, my Lady.” He saunters into the kitchen and I hear him shuffle around before he comes back, flicking off switches along his path. He casually tosses a pizza box on the bed and walks towards the bed side table, setting some drinks. He looks around the floor again and bends down to grab one of his shirts before tossing it at me. 

I beam at him as I shove it over my head. “Thank you, my knight in shining armor.”

[thisissirius]

can’t resist a siri prompt request opportunity! “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.” ❤️

an echo of you eddie/buck, confessions

I love you.

The words bounce around Eddie’s head.

Chris comes home from school, full of enthusiasm and news, and Eddie tries to get swept up in it, wanting to be distracted. Despite everything, the words are still there, hanging in the air around him. 

“Dad?”

Eddie pauses in his washing of the dishes, looking over his shoulder. Chris is at the table doing his homework, and he’s frowning. “What’s the problem?”

“It’s a hard math one. Can I call Buck?”

Something settles uncomfortably in Eddie’s stomach. He wants to say no, he realises, because that means facing things he doesn’t want to. He can’t bring his own mixed up feelings to bear on Chris, though, and nods. “Only if he says you’re not bothering him, okay?”

As if Buck will ever say that. 

Elbow deep in suds, Eddie tunes out the sound of Chris dialling the phone, but as he tries to scrub away the emotions he’s feeling as hard as he is the dirty plates, he can’t help but listen. 

“Dad says to check I’m not interrupting.” Eddie winces. Chris chooses a better word choice. 

It just means Eddie’s doing things right. Right? Eddie doesn’t even know anymore. 

I love you.

“—it’s math. I know what you said last time, but I forgot.”

Buck’s voice is on the other end of the phone; Eddie recognises the timber of his voice, even if he can’t hear what’s being said. Buck is so good with Chris. He’s always been good with Chris. Even when he and Eddie were antagonistic—or at least when Buck was trying to exert himself—Buck’s feelings for Chris were almost immediately huge and all encompassing. He’s never begrudged Chris anything. The tsunami. The skateboard. He gives so much of himself to Chris. 

Maybe that’s why this is so hard for Eddie; because it’s not hard. 

“—Dad?”   

Eddie looks up, startled. “Sorry. What’s up?”

“Buck wants to speak to you,” Chris says, holding out the phone. 

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. “Uh, I’m soapy.”

“So wipe your hands,” Chris says with an eyeroll. 

Okay. Eddie’s done harder things than this. He dries his hands and breathes in, taking the phone from Chris. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Buck says. He sounds warm, light. I love you. “You’re washing dishes?”

“I clean,” Eddie protests, and he’s surprised his voice is so even. 

Buck laughs and Eddie’s chest is tight. It’s so fucking easy to love him. 

I love you. 

“Buck,” Eddie says. His voice sounds thick. 

Buck makes a noise. “I wasn’t lying when I said I love you. But you don’t have to answer.”

“I don’t know,” Eddie says, even though he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. Or whatever. Fuck, this is so hard. 

I love you. 

“I know,” Buck says. “It’s okay that you don’t know, you get that, right?”

Eddie clutches at the counter, conscious of Chris behind him. “I’m not over it,” he blurts out instead. 

Silence. Then, softly, “Shannon?”

Closing his eyes, Eddie nods. Aloud, he says, “yeah. Sometimes I think I am. Other times I feel guilty.”

“Alright.” Buck breathes a couple of times. Eddie thinks about the words I love you in Buck’s tone, the smile on his face, the softness. It’s the softness that hurts the most; that Eddie deserves that after everything. “That doesn’t change anything.”

Chris is doing his homework, so Eddie pads out of the kitchen into the hall. He presses his forehead to the wall. “I do love you.”

Buck sucks in a breath. 

“It’s a mess in here,” Eddie says, waving at his head. “In my head and heart. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing great,” Buck says, and it doesn’t sound hollow. There’s so much emotion there it hits hard. “I’m proud of everything you’ve done.”

Eddie closes his eyes, breathing shaky. “What now?”

“Well,” Buck’s tone is back to being light, “nothing changes until we want it to.”

“Okay.” Eddie pauses. “Come over?”

Buck laughs. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“I want to kiss you,” Eddie admits. “If that’s okay.”

Buck doesn’t say anything for a moment and Eddie worries he’s done something wrong. Then. “Consider this blanket permission.”

Eddie smiles, peers around the wall to where Chris is still working, humming to himself. “Noted. I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you,” Buck says. The words linger, still, but Eddie feels more comfortable with them, cherishes them.

Quietly, with emotion, he says, “I love you too.”

[omegasshyghuleh6661ghosts]

Heyo! Can you do some Headcanons for Rey and Eddie fighting over reader before deciding to be in a poly relationship? Thanks

Absolutely, lovely! 🖤 I don't write a lot of headcanons, but I'll try my best. The timeline for this starts in 1993, so the timing of some events has been changed. Also, due to post limits, there will be a part two!

- You've been friends with Rey and Eddie for years, though you've been friends with Eddie for longer.

- You meet Eddie while training with Dusty and Dustin Rhodes. You'd just taken a break from training with Dustin and were sitting on a bench when he walked up to you, smirking and mischief filling his eyes.

- "Eddie Guerrero, and you are absolutely gorgeous, mamacita. Qué tendría que pasar para que un tipo como yo obtenga tu número?"

- You couldn't help but laugh at his brazen introduction, introducing yourself as well and saying that after an introduction like the one he gave, there wasn't really any reason to not give him your number.

- You two joke around, becoming close friends quickly, and becoming almost inseparable soon after.

- A few months later, you meet Rey at an event you were wrestling at, walking up to the shy man and introducing yourself.

- Though he won't admit it, Rey develops feelings for you fairly early on. Later in life, he tells you and Eddie that he couldn't help it. No matter what you did in the ring, how hated you could be sometimes when you were a heel, outside the ring you're the epitome of everything good in the world. Plus, it doesn't hurt that you're pretty good looking.

- It took a while for him to do this, but once he warmed up to you and was comfortable enough... Rey unmasked for you, only wearing it when dealing with the public.

- Once the three of you manage to get into the same companies, there's a lot less dull moments in your life.

- The three of you work out, spar, ride together and room together, rarely being apart from one another even if one of you is injured. If one of you leaves a company, the other two leave as well.

- Rey and Eddie take turns figuring out who gets to share the bed with you while you're on the road.

- On the 'bad' nights, it leads to you threatening to sleep on the couch or room with someone else.

- "You two are like an old married couple, and if you don't work your issues out soon I'm going to room with Elizabeth or Sherri for the night."

- On 'normal' nights, two of you take the bed. Neither of them get into bed until you've chosen a side to sleep on. Whoever isn't in bed either sleeps on the couch or on the floor beside you. When one of you remembers to book dual beds, whoever doesn't end up sharing the bed with you will sleep in the extra bed.

- On 'good' nights, however, it leads to the three of you curled up with one another. Eddie and Rey take turns curling up behind you.

- When Eddie and you share the bed, he asks if you'd like to curl up with him even though you've told him time and time again that he doesn't have to ask. You won't ever turn down falling asleep while curled up with your favorite guys. Once he has explicit permission, he'll either curl up behind you with an arm draped around your waist while his free arm rests under your head/neck area or lay on his back so that you can curl into his side. During the latter situation, he'll wrap his arms around you and quietly vow to you that no nightmares will come to you while he's around before humming songs to you as you drift off.

- When Rey and you share the bed, he also asks for explicit permission to cuddle up with you. He'll ask if you want to be cuddled, curl into his side, or do the cuddling. Either way, he's happy to do whatever it takes to make you happy and ease you into restful sleep. If he cuddles you, he wraps an arm around you and runs the fingers of his free hand through your hair to help lull you to sleep. During side cuddles, one arm is wrapped around you while the other rests under the pillow behind his head. If he's the one being cuddled, your arm is usually wrapped around his waist or stomach. During the rare occasions it's not, your arm is draped over his with your hand touching his chest.

- They're equally protective over you, but show it differently.

- Rey will get close to you and glare at people who make you uncomfortable or try to cross a line, only getting vocal when he absolutely needs to. He knows you can hold your own, but wants to be there for you anyway.

- Eddie isn't afraid to get vocal from the get go. If someone's upset you or wronged you somehow, he's absolutely going to call them out for it while slinging an arm around you.

- He'd never say it in front of you, but Eddie's threatened to make people's lives hell if they cross a line with you. Especially if he knows that he has a match against the person.

- Sometimes Eddie gets a little too handsy with you, Rey glaring at him when he realizes what's happening. This gets a little worse when you and Eddie get put into romantic storylines and have to ham it up in front of the camera.

- Eddie gets the same way when you and Rey are paired together, sometimes complaining to the higher-ups when he feels like things have gone too far.

- When you ride together, Rey and Eddie take turns driving so you can rest as much as possible. Whoever isn't driving will take the backseat, stretching out with their head facing you so that they can see all of your expressions during the long conversations.

- Rey finds ways to turn the backseat into a bed for you if you're tired and can't stop at a hotel yet.

- They realize their feelings for you at different times, though neither of them say anything about it because they don't want to lose you or each other.

- The first time you have clothes removed during a show, both of them freeze up and have to distract themselves. You're wearing nothing but a thong and your heels, your dress having been thrown aside to distract your boys' opponents. None of the men in the ring can keep their eyes off of you, Eddie and Rey barely managing to get their win before you wrap up and put on a bit of a show as you make your way backstage. Rey briefly has a moment where he realizes he should get you backstage quicker, but Eddie's already halfway there.

- Eddie accidentally walks into your shared locker room, groaning under his breath at the view he gets. While he understands that it isn't helping the tightness of his gear, he doesn't mind looking for just a moment more. You peek back at him while you try to find the shirt you'd packed in your extra set of clothes, unable to hide your smirk. Rey walks up behind Eddie, moving to his side as you turn to face them both. He covers his eyes, stammering out an apology as he blindly moves to the shower, struggling to ignore the physical reaction he has to the sight of you. Eddie closes the door, jokingly flirting with you as Rey heads off to the shower. You both laugh and flirt, you teasing Rey a bit after you get fully changed.

- "Hey, Rey, want some help in there?" You call to him, shaking your head slightly at the strangled no that escapes him.

- Rey pulls Eddie aside one night before a show, telling him that they need to have a serious talk. He admits his feelings for you, Eddie following suit and spilling everything to Rey.

- Rey gives Eddie a gentle nudge, telling him that he should tell you how he feels. He won't admit it until years later, when you're all taking time off after the birth of Dominik, but this is one of the hardest moments in his life. His heart feels like it's dropped to the pit of his stomach, he fights to keep his breath from catching in his throat, and the only thought running through his head is that this is the moment he loses his entire world.

- Eddie is a nervous wreck when he tells Rey how he feels about you, and doesn't understand how Rey can so calmly say that he should tell you how he feels after coming clean and saying that he has the same feelings for you.

- He turns Rey down, saying that he couldn't do something like that. It'd mean potentially ruining your friendship and it'd hurt Rey. He makes it explicitly clear that he doesn't want to hurt either of you.

- They talk more, deciding that either they were going to come clean to you at the same time or hint at it until you bring it up.

- You have a title match that night against Joanie and they're both ringside, cheering you on and hyping the crowd up for you. You win, and they rush into the ring to congratulate you. Rey is the first to hug you, Eddie's arms wrapping around you both. Soon enough, you break apart and Joanie congratulates you before Eddie lifts you up onto his shoulders.

- They take you out after the show to celebrate your win, treating you to a fancy dinner and roses.

- "You're holding the belt now, querida. Of course we're going to celebrate that with a dinner worthy of champions!"

- Rey almost confesses his feelings for you later on in the night.

- Weeks go by and they drop little hints over time, but still don't say anything about it.

- The three of you have a day off, and they decide to finally come clean to you. They're both nervous about it but spill everything, including why they acted the way they did. Rey sits on the floor of your hotel room and faces you and Eddie, Eddie laying on his side so that he can face you and Rey at the same time.

- You've noticed their hints, so were kind of expecting a conversation like this to happen soon, but it still catches you a bit off guard.

- They both make it perfectly clear that they're not going to pressure you into anything, and just want to be on the same page as you.

- At one point during the conversation, you look between the two of them and mention the idea that changes your lives forever.

- "None of us have to choose between one or the other. I feel the same as both of you, but there's nothing that says we have to be unhappy for the sake of another. My feelings for you both are indescribable, and I don't think I could bear to lose either of you. Why not just forge our own path in life and be together?"

- Eddie's eyes go wide for a moment before he looks to Rey, the smaller man doing the same before both of them look at you and ask simultaneously to repeat what you said so that they can process it.

- "I love you, Eddie. I also love you, Rey. I don't want to lie, don't want to have to choose and hurt one of you... I want to be with you both."

- You all agree to at least try it, Rey moving to sit next to you. Eddie takes one of your hands, Rey taking the other.

- Your first kiss with both of them was that night.

- Your relationship is a very relaxed and organic one, but you do go through the normal ups and downs of any relationship.

- Eddie and Rey plan date nights for you. Two for Rey, two for Eddie, and two group date nights.

- They remain equally protective over you, but the jealousy fades away pretty quickly. It only returns when you end up in a storyline with a different wrestler.

- Chavo is the first person to realize the three of you are together, and is extremely supportive.

- After a few months into dating and some serious talks, the three of you buy a house and move in together.

- For the first year or so of your relationship, Eddie and Rey get their families together for the holidays with you that way nobody feels left out.

- You keep your relationship pretty private, but not to the extent where you hide any trace of it. Your families know, friends know, and most of your coworkers know. None of you say anything to the McMahons, knowing that Vince would most likely try to punish you during televised shows.

- You get married to them in Vegas in 1994, becoming Mrs. Y/N Guerrero-Gutiérrez. It's a small ceremony, Dusty Rhodes, Chavo, and Rey senior are the only ones there. You have celebrations with Eddie and Rey's families after enjoying some time to yourselves.

- Your anniversary and birthdays are always a massive deal to Rey and Eddie. They spoil you every year, and you spoil them in return.

- The three of you would love to have children, so you ask to transition to being Eddie and Rey's manager. Heyman agrees and you become their manager soon after. You stay on the road with your boys but have less matches.

- During the early and mid points in your pregnancy, you still show up to manage your boys. You travel with them and room with them as usual, though you take things a lot easier than you did before.

- The boys take time off and set up a nursery, not letting you see it until it's completed.

- Eddie and Rey both ask to be written off air with injuries leading up to the birth of your daughter Shaul.

- When Shaul is born, Eddie and Rey are at your side in the hospital. Rey on your left side and Eddie on your right. Both are wrapped around your little girl's finger fairly quickly, both explaining to the nurses and doctor that they are both your legal husbands and both need to be on her birth certificate.

- You discuss Eddie wanting to leave ECW, eventually deciding that he would go to WCW first, then you and Rey would join him the following year.

- They're both doting fathers, taking care of you and Shaul. Neither let you do anything major until you're fully healed, letting you get as much rest as possible.

- The three of you ask Chavo and your friend Mark, also known as The Undertaker, to be her godfathers without a second thought.

- Once you're healed and feel well enough to, you return to work and ease your way back into matches. Your mentor and Shaul's self-appointed grandpa, Dusty Rhodes, watches over her while you're out at ringside during your boys' matches or during promos.

- Being wrestlers and being on the road a lot of the time means that some of the major milestones happen on the road or at work. The four of you are in a hotel room with Chavo, Chris Benoit, Kevin Nash, Jeff Jarrett, Sean Waltman, Scott Hall and Dusty Rhodes when Shaul says her first word.

- You're mid-conversation with Nash and Dusty, Kevin holding her as she looks at Rey and strains against Kevin's arm. Rey asks what she wants, thinking that she just wanted to be set down. Instead, what he gets is your daughter saying the word Papa after a few tries. Rey excitedly scoops her up from Kevin's lap, carefully cradling her to his chest as he murmurs words of encouragement to her. You and Eddie are both excited and proud of her for saying her first word, but are also both a little playfully jealous that her first word was calling Rey Papa.

- A few months later, she takes her first steps in the middle of the ring during your pre-show warmups with Rey and Eddie. You'd been in the middle of stretches against the ropes, Eddie and Rey sitting nearby with their legs stretched out on the mat. Shaul shakily finds her feet after apparently deciding that her Papa and Dada weren't enough to keep her attention, spotting you and taking a few unsteady steps toward you. You stayed in place, happily encouraging her to keep going as your husbands did the same. She slowly made her way to you, giggling and squealing happily when you picked her up.

- Your second daughter, Sherilyn, is born a year later.

- The three of you ask your friends Chris, Dean, and Dustin, better known as Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko and Dustin Rhodes to be her godfathers.

- You retire from in-ring action, strictly being a manager for your boys.

- Dominik is born two years later.

- The three of you ask Jeff Jarrett, Sean Waltman, and Paul Wight to be his godfathers. You also ask Jacqueline to be his godmother.

- You raise your kids 50% on the road and 50% at home when they're old enough for school.

- When Rey is forced to unmask in a match against Kevin and Scott, you're just as hurt as Rey. You're furious for allowing something like that to happen, but don't take it out on your friends. Instead, you have a meeting with Eric Bischoff and the booking agents behind Eddie and Rey's backs. During that meeting, you yell at everyone and ask them if they realize how important a mask is to a luchador. You then tell them that they messed up by doing that to Rey, instead of booking some other finish so that Rey could keep his mask and the fans would be happy. Way after the fact, you tell Rey and Eddie about this meeting. They're both grateful, especially Rey, but also tell you that you didn't have to do that.

- You continue being the manager for Rey and Eddie until 2000 when Eddie jumped to the WWF. You and Eddie end up separating, and you stayed with Rey until he returned to the independent circuit. You stay at home with your kids during this time, your daughter Aalyah being born later in 2001.

- You checked in to see how Eddie was doing every now and again during your seperation, learning that he was released from the WWF a few months after Aalyah was born.

- You and Rey ask the Hardys, Rob Van Dam (Rob Szatkowski), Road Dogg (Brian James), and Billy Gunn (Monty Sopp) to be her godfathers, and Chyna (Joanie Laurer) and Torrie Wilson to be her godmothers.

- Eddie returned to the WWF in 2002, you and Rey making your debut not long after. Eddie's daughter Kaylie is born during this year.

- Eddie and you reconcile after he and Kaylie's mother break up, staying together until Eddie's passing.

- The three of you renew your vows on your ten year anniversary in 2004, your children celebrating with you and your family.

- The three of you celebrate Eddie's four-year sobriety, vowing to each other that none of you will ever go back to that place in your lives.

- You and Rey were booked in a different hotel as Eddie the night he passed. He was staying at a hotel with Chavo so that they could catch a flight from Phoenix to Minneapolis for a taping, while you and Rey were in California after a mid-week trip to see your in-laws and do some press for the European tour that was coming up. Eddie however, found the upside to it. When you talked the night before he passed, he joked about how you and Rey could finally sleep without feeling like you're sleeping in a furnace. You promised to room together the next night after the Smackdown and Raw tapings. You and Rey tell Eddie that you'll see him on the plane to head to the tapings, as you and Rey had a connection flight that Eddie would board, but end up changing your flight to catch a red-eye to Phoenix so that you can all travel together. You take the flight with Rey, figuring Eddie would be happy to see you early. Instead, when you touch down and enter the airport one of the truck drivers for the crew greet you and ask if you'd heard about Eddie. You're both confused and tell him no, asking what happened to him. The man tells you that Eddie had just passed away, you and Rey both telling him no again. Nerves and shock course through your system as you grab your bags, Rey grabbing his and clutching your hand. You think that this is some kind of sick joke, but stay quiet on the ride to the hotel. You arrive, heading up to Eddie's room as quickly as possible. You're greeted with the sight of your team doctor in front of Eddie's room, and your hand slips from Rey's. You don't say a word, rushing into the room and stopping on a dime. Chavo is there holding Eddie. You don't register dropping to your knees next to them, the soul-wrenching sobs that escape you, Chavo passing Eddie to you, or Rey kneeling at your side as Chavo's shock begins to wear off and he breaks down. Your thoughts are muddy. Your chest feels uncomfortably tight, and your sobs wrack your entire body. You don't even feel Rey's arm around you as he breaks down.

- In a few moments of clarity you vaguely remember Chavo sitting on the bed and answering the phone, saying something to Rey about Benoit being downstairs. At some point after Eddie's taken away, Vince, Paul, and Michael show up. Vince asks what the three of you want to do about the show, Chavo and Rey making the decision to go on with it as you're too distraught to say anything.

- Rey and Chavo call your families to tell them what happened, your thoughts settling on your kids. You manage to tell Rey that either you or him needs to call them to break the news. Rey calls as he holds you in his arms, doing a lot of the talking.

- The next few hours are a blur. You, Rey, Chavo and Chris travel to the arena for the taping, Eddie's things with yours and Rey's at the hotel. Rey's and Chavo's arms wrap around your waist as you walk into the building, your wrestling family surrounding you and hugging you throughout the day before the start of the show. Eventually you manage to find enough strength to pull yourself together mentally and emotionally before the show. You change into the gear you would've worn with Eddie tonight, walking out to the ramp to stand front and center with your family. Rey, Benoit, Chavo, Malenko and Hunter stand at your sides, others behind you resting a hand on your shoulder or back. A gesture of silent reassurance and solidarity. There wasn't a dry eye in the room as Vince addressed the crowd, chants rising from the crowd of his name and "Thank you Eddie!" echo throughout the arena. The ten bell salute is given, and in this moment it feels like your heart is sinking with each ring. There are a few moments of silence before a tribute video is played, set to Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt.

- Once the roster headed backstage, Eddie's closest friends surrounded you in a group hug. Rey stayed by your side, no one saying a word. You all just stood there together, allowing each other to let everything out. Members of your work family are asked if they'd like to talk about Eddie, many accepting. Still, your closest friends are at your side for the time being. Show is the first one to leave your group, Kane walking back out to Gorilla with him for the first match of the night. Nitro, Mercury and Melina follow soon after. Your group finds a monitor to crowd around, still hugging one another and taking comfort in the company as you watch the screen. Show and Kane win the match, rejoining you to watch the rest of the show. Tonight, wins and losses mean nothing.

- There were many tears shed, but you all put on the best possible show for him. Many clips of Eddie are played between interviews and matches, some bringing a little bit of laughter in to break up the solemnity.

- You watch Kurt and Shelton's match in silence, tearing up once again as Shawn's interview plays. Instinctively, you hold Chavo a little closer during the montage of him and Eddie. He holds you close, especially when you start to break down for what feels like the millionth time today. For the first time since this morning, Rey isn't the one to hold you when Chavo leaves. Dusty is. He wraps you up in his arms tight and comforts you as he'd comfort his own children.

- When Chavo comes back, he sits next to Rey with his hand resting on top of yours.

- Shawn and Rey have a match next, both of them hugging you tight and giving you comforting words before asking if you'd like to join them at ringside. You accept, drying your tears and walking out with Rey. Both of them wear "I'm your papi" shirts and arm bands with Eddie's initials on it, and it brings a small smile to your face. Rey dances like Eddie, finally managing to make you laugh for the first time all day. Members of the crowd pat your back throughout the match, showing the overwhelming support for your family that you'd always appreciated, more so now than ever.

- Rey beats Shawn, taking a few moments for himself before helping Shawn up. They have a few moments of their own in the ring, undoubtedly comforting one another and making sure they're both okay before they slip out of the ring and head over toward you. They're both sore and a little beat up but check in on you to make sure you were okay. Rey takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of yours as Shawn wraps an arm around your waist before you walk backstage and find your monitor again.

- Dave's the next to be interviewed, and you know he regrets not knowing Eddie better. It's hard to not feel that way.

- The women's battle royal takes place next, and while you're supportive of the girls you don't really have the heart to watch. You take the time to talk with your family and share some memories. Rey tells the story of how your relationship started, and how Eddie was the one who finally decided that they should come clean to you.

- You tell the story of how you and Eddie found out that you were pregnant with Shaul, Rey laughing when you mention that Eddie had jokingly begged the test to show the results faster because he was so excited about possibly becoming a father.

- "We were all in triple A at the time, on the road, and staying at this little motel somewhere. Rey was grabbing dinner for the night and some stuff from the drug store just in case I was actually sick. I had been feeling a little under the weather for a while so I took a test, out of curiosity and just to be on the safe side of things. When he realized I'd taken one, you could see things start to click in his head. He jumped off of the bed and started rambling off every thought in his head, half in English and half in Spanish... He was so excited about being a dad, and he knew Rey would be too. By the time the results showed, he'd already planned out how he and Rey were gonna train our little champ."

- Rey laughed for the first time that day, adding that Eddie was like that with all of your kids and was so excited when the three of you first had the discussion of wanting to start trying for a baby.

- The Battle Royal ends, Melina winning. Rey's asked to speak about Eddie and he does so, heading off before the end of the women's match. You prepared for whatever he was about to say, but that didn't stop the small gasp that escaped you when he took off his mask on camera. He kept his head bowed so his face wouldn't show, hands rubbing over his face.

- The clip of Eddie and Benoit at Wrestlemania twenty plays, leading to Simon and Eugene's match. Rey returns, masked again, and you slip out of Dusty's arms to meet your husband with a hug before he's made it over to your group. Your arms wrap around one another, fingers clutching your shirts as his body starts to shake from the sobs that finally escape him. Nobody makes a move to interrupt you both, understanding that you need each other more than anything. After a few minutes, you both return to the group after calming down a little bit. This time, you sit on Rey's lap and curl up with him. Mentally and physically you're exhausted already, but you know you have to keep going. The filming of Raw is almost over, but you still have to film Smackdown after this. One long tribute for the man you loved so dearly, who loved you so unconditionally, and who was loved by so many.

- Your heart breaks again as you realize that Benoit was asked to speak about Eddie, silent sobs of your own bubbling up as you watch one of your closest friends and Eddie's break on camera. You're semi aware that other people are crying while watching him too, but you've focused on him. There were so many nights Eddie and you spent talking to Chris about the demons he battled constantly, nights where you assured Chris that he was loved and that people needed him in this world. Nancy, their sons and their daughter... They all needed Chris like you and your family needed Eddie.

- After Chris's interview, a clip of Eddie winning his championship belt is played. You look at Rey, quietly asking if you should go find him. Rey nods, telling you that he'll fill you in on what you missed later. He gives you a kiss on the cheek before you get up and go off to find Benoit, finding him after a few minutes and giving him the biggest hug you could manage. You talked with him for a little bit, comforting each other.

- You tell him that you're gonna be there for him like Eddie was, and if he needs anything he can call you at any hour of the day.

- The two of you head back to the rest of the roster, you curling up with Rey again. He kisses your temple as a silent "welcome back", wrapping his arm around you and stroking your side. You've arrived at the tail end of Ric and Regal's match, Ric wins and you can't help the smile that etches across your face as you shake your head slightly at the next clip of Eddie. - You and Rey look at each other before looking back at the screen, both of you enjoying the clip of Eddie accidentally pinning Joanie during the triple threat match on Raw with her and Kurt Angle. This was at the very beginning of your seperation, but you'd happened to watch the show and enjoyed seeing him perform. He looked so confused at first, not realizing what he'd done, then shock and concern set in. He let a smile show, but right went back to being concerned for Joanie who was just waking up after being hit with the Intercontinental Championship belt by Angle.

- The clip ends leading into the last match of the night,John Cena and Randy Orton, Randy's father Bob at ringside. You enjoy the match, but don't really pay too much attention to it. You're a little caught off guard post-match, John taking off his "I'm your Papi" shirt and setting it carefully in the middle of the ring. He set the WWE championship belt down on the shirt, and the show ended. When he arrived backstage, he sought you, Rey and Chavo out and hugged you all.

- Vince approached you, asking if you all were okay to tape Smackdown, or if you needed some time to yourselves before continuing on. Rey and Chavo looked to you, completely backing you up when you said that you were okay to continue.

- "If there was one thing Eddie and I bonded over in our early years of friendship, it was that there was absolutely nothing that was going to stop us from giving our absolute all. We're performers, and the show must go on. For him."

- Taping begins for Smackdown, the words "In memory of Eddie Guerrero" on the screen for a few moments of silence before the image of Dave in Eddie's low rider fill the space. He's on the verge of tears as he talks about Eddie, pausing for a moment when the crowd chants your husband's name. He smiles, continuing for a moment before Eddie's music plays, Dave exiting the car and placing the heavyweight title belt on the hood.

- A second tribute video is played, this one set to Here Without You by Three Doors Down. After the video, a clip from Eddie's "Cheating Death, Stealing Life" DVD plays. Eddie drives around his hometown, his mother talking about how your father in-law taught the entire family to wrestle, with Eddie explaining how the family got into wrestling.

- The end of the clip leads into the first match of the night, Matt Hardy against Carlito. Matt's wearing a shirt and arm band for Eddie, patting the low rider before entering the ring. You watch the match, enjoying Matt's win.

- After the match, Vince walks out and speaks about Eddie, getting choked up during some of it.

- Another clip from Eddie's DVD plays, and it causes you to break down. He speaks about losing you, and having Kaylie during your seperation. You'd never seen or heard this before, and it kills you inside to listen to it. Rey holds you just a little tighter, rubbing a hand over your back to try and comfort you.

- Heidenreich and Animal's match against Cade and Murdoch is a blur for you, too preoccupied to pay close attention to it. Booker T and Sharmell's interview follows it, and you're grateful for his words. You and Rey both thank them as they rejoin you, hugging one another before watching the Lie, Cheat, Steal vignettes along with clips of Eddie doing just that. Lying, cheating, and stealing. Everyone in the room has a chuckle at this, even if it's through tears.

- "If there was one thing he did better than performing, it was lying, cheating and stealing. God knows he could do it better than anyone else in the business, no offense Ric."

- Flair laughs, agreeing with you. Nobody could do it better than Latino Heat himself.

- Paul's interview is next, and you want to just hold him. Once he comes back to you group, he singles you out and wraps you in a hug. You talk a bit during the clip of Eddie talking about growing up in his family and wrestling with his dad.

- Chavo has a match next against JBL and he asks if you and Rey want to join him at ringside. You agree and walk out, you and Rey on either side of him. Jillian Hall escorts JBL to the ring, staying in his corner the entire match. You and Rey cheer when Chavo pulls a classic Eddie, bringing two chairs to the ring and allowing the ref to take one before tossing the other to JBL and dropping to the ground like he'd taken a shot to the head. The ref caught JBL with the chair, yelling at him before getting the chair out of the ring. Chavo gave John a low blow, finishing out the match with the Three Amigos and Eddie's frogsplash. You cheer Chavo on, the three of you hugging before heading backstage again in time to catch the last bit of Eddie talking about his mom.

- The next clip is Eddie speaking about Mania. It ends with Eddie celebrating with Chris. During the clip of Benoit and Eddie, you walk over to Chris and give him a side hug, resting your head on his shoulder. His body shakes a little from sniffling, but seems a bit calmer with you around.

- JBL has an interview, speaking about how he and Eddie were friends regardless of if they were enemies on screen or not and how Eddie said that he could be a main eventer. He mentioned Eddie's support throughout his divorce, and how he wishes he could see Eddie come out in the low rider just one more time. You nod, the members of both rosters agreeing with him.

- The next clip to play is of Eddie beating Lesnar for the title.

- Men's Battle Royal follows, you and Rey rooting for Helms and Juvy, congratulating Juvy for his win as he returns backstage.

- Clips of Latino Heat play, and you can't help but to chuckle at the image of your mother-in-law's reaction to the storyline Eddie had with Joanie. In this moment, you wish she was still with the company. You and Joanie are still extremely close, and you know you'll end up calling her after the show to tell her and talk.

- A clip of Eddie's last match plays, and you remember how excited he was about winning it. He was so proud and excited to represent Smackdown for Survivor series, even if he had to cheat to do so.

Part 2 will be up momentarily!

Tag list: @kchavez666

[soulwillower]

tozier • ben hanscom

(ben hanscom x tozier!reader smut)

requested: okay so once regular requests open, here's my idea. so the reader and richie are siblings and they absolutely hate each other and to get under his sisters skin, he fucks her best friend. so in sheer anger she decides to fuck all of his

warnings: swearing, smut, unedited bc im a lazy asshole 

ok guys here’s part one of the new series! i’ll probably have to go back in and edit some stuff n probably change the name but lmk what u guys think and what u wanna see for the next parts :) 

[losers and reader are in college in this.]

2.8k words

♡

you know richie pretty well, if you say so yourself. hell, you grew up with him - you've known him your whole entire life and even now, as 19 and 20 year olds, you're still at each other’s throats constantly. 

naturally, growing up with richie as your brother was full of ups and downs - like the time that you were still a baby in your crib and he'd curiously wandered into your nursery and twisted your finger, causing it to break. or, that time when you two got into a fight over who took the last of the ice cream in the freezer and didn't speak to each other for almost three whole days.

but there were really good times, too - like when richie picked you up after your disastrous senior prom night and drank vodka with you in the back of his pickup truck while you threw rocks at the creepy house on neibolt street. or the time where you bought him a new pair of glasses so your parents wouldn't kill him for breaking them and he bought you ice cream for a month as a thank you. 

richie was the most frustrating, annoying, rude, arrogant older brother, and yet even when you were away at separate colleges, you talked on the phone almost every night.

you share one of those really, really competitive relationships - a lot of it, you’ve realized, stems from your parents constantly pitting you two against each other to vie for their attention and praise. but no matter, you still hated richie most of the time and he hated you just as much. 

but right now, you might fucking murder him.

you have so much hatred for him as you storm down your stairs, phone clutched violently in your palm as you stalk into the basement, hollering, "richard!" at the top of your lungs. it's a hot august afternoon and you've just come back from the pool with your best friend, now filled to the brim with white hot rage for your brother. 

when you'd been at the pool, cecily, your best friend, had stretched her neck and you'd noticed a hickey (naturally, you'd teased her about it). but when you pried, she got secretive and defensive until it finally slipped out that the boy she'd been with was none other than your gangly, stupid older brother, richie.

you were completely disgusted and beyond addled as to why she'd choose richie, of all people, but more than that you were extremely pissed and stormed off, driving home with knuckles tight against the steering wheel.

and now, as you make it down to the last step of the basement, you're aware that you're still in your bathing suit with shorts thrown haphazardly on top as you storm towards your fuckwit brother.

he and all of the losers he hung out with are down here, sprawled on the large sofas and on the floor in front of the tv. you don't dare break your eye contact with richie as you glare, face heated with anger.

"well hey there, little sis. what's got your knickers in a knot?" he says with a lopsided grin that you just want to punch clean off his face. he's sitting between ben and bill and you turn a little pink as you notice both boys’ eyes on your body. yet you barely think for a second before slapping richie straight across his cheek, hard. 

the slap is a sickening sound as it quiets the whole room - you can feel bev's eyes on you, hear eddie's short gasp, and see out of the corner of your eyes as stan turns his head to watch the scene. richie stares at you, hand on his cheek. "what the hell, y/n?" he asks with a glare as he stands up, rising to his full height above you. but you’re not afraid. 

"you talk to cecily today?" you ask with feigned sweetness, a sick smile on your face as you cross your arms. richie just blinks at you, mouth opening and closing like the dumbass he is. "how long have you been fucking her?" you ask when he says nothing.

the room bursts in exclamations after your words - from mike's "you didn't." to bill's "what the f-fuck is wrong with you, m-man?" and ben's, "oh my god, dude."

richie just shakes his head, looking way too casual as he places a hand on your shoulder with a grin, "y/n/n, can we talk about this later? we’re trying to watch jeopardy." he smirks, but you immediately shake his arm off, recoiling in frustration as you glare at him. "no, richie! you’ve been fucking my best friend! my ONLY friend!" you ask, shaking your head. “you’re such a shitty person, i fucking hate you. why did you do it?” 

 as you make eye contact, he sighs almost forlornly, as if he’s about to apologize. but this is richie, so of course he doesn’t. "....she's just so fuckin’ hot." he says with a grin. 

you take a sharp breath, rubbing your face with your hands as you back away towards the stairs.

"c'mon, sis! don't be so sensitive." he calls to your back and you can practically hear the nasty grin in his voice. you hear eddie hiss, "quit being a fucking asshole." to your brother and you want to scream. "don't fucking talk to me, richie." you snap as you make it up the stairs, ignoring richie as he laughs his stupid hyena laughter. 

you're finally changed out of your suit and into a shirt and shorts by the time you've calmed down enough to take a few deep breaths. a knock makes you jump, though, and you glare at the closed door. as you're about to yell for whoever it is to go away, you're stopped by a voice.

"hey, y/n." ben's voice sounds through the door, and it's almost shocking how quickly your shoulders relax. you smile shyly as you open the door, your heart beating wildly, this time not from anger but out of your proximity to ben.

ben hanscom had been your brother’s friend for a while, and you simply did not understand. all of them are jackasses, richie being the king of the pack, but ben really does seem to be so fucking genuine. maybe it’s because you’ve always had a small thing for him, but then again it may just be because you’re furious with richie. 

"hi, ben. sorry i was.... sorry about that." you say awkwardly as he walks into your room and shuts the door gently. he laughs quietly as he leans against your wall, looking down at you knowingly. "it's richie's fault. you have every right to be mad. he’s a dick sometimes"

you nod thoughtfully, touched that ben came to check in on you. "i know he is. you know, i'm not even mad that they had sex, honestly, i’m just mad because i know he did it to piss me off." you say, biting your lip as you stare up at ben, his hair glinting under the soft light of your lamp. 

ben nods as he reaches out to rub your shoulder, making your stomach flutter as you look up at him. "if i can be honest, you two have the weirdest relationship i've ever seen, y/n. i'm sorry he did that and didn’t tell you, that's really unfair."

you smile lightly at the floor where your feet point towards his. "well now i have, like, nobody to hang out with this summer." you mumble, thinking about how cecily is really your only friend from derry, and how all your college friends live hundreds of miles away.

you shrug, leaning into ben's touch. "you have me to keep me company, though." he says with a shy grin, cheeks heating up at your smile.

"oh, just you? i like the sound of that." you ask, lifting a brow playfully. he chuckles a bit at your look and it makes your chest flutter.

"yeah, of course you do, y/n." he says as he pulls you into a hug. he's warm and smells like cinnamon cologne and it makes your chest glow sweetly. you pull back only slightly, hands sliding up to his chest as you look into his golden eyes. "ben..." you whisper softly, eyes going down to his lips and then bouncing back up, not wanting to make a move if he's not comfortable with it.

he clearly is thinking the same thing, because you're both moving closer and closer, his hands lightly squeezing your hips as he stares at you with hooded eyes. "yeah?" he asks, just as quietly. you swallow, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap just to see what it'd be like. to have one of richie's friends, for a change.

you don't know how to initiate it, though. "do you want to-"

"yes." he rushes out quickly, apprehension only flashing across his face just after he'd rushed out the answer, in fear that you'd been overwhelmed by his enthusiasm. but it's enough for you, and you grin slightly before pulling him into a kiss.

his lips are hot on yours, your hair still drying from the chlorine at the pool as his fingers tangle in the strands. you moan a bit out of shock, having not kissed anyone in a while and feeling touch starved. his hands are strong and soft in all the best ways and you try not to smirk as you think about your stupid brother sitting in the basement, currently unaware of what you’re about to do with one of his best friends upstairs. 

but then, just as your hand slips to the hem of ben’s jeans, he pulls back a bit. “is this a bad idea?” he asks.

you sigh, looking away. “yes.” you say with barely any hesitation. “but i don’t fucking care.” you say honestly, and ben grins, “well, me neither. you’re...” he looks you up and down before smiling. “so fucking pretty.” he ends with and your stomach flutters, face growing hot at the compliment. 

"but i don't want to, like.... t-take advantage of this situation, or-" ben starts, but you shake your head, biting your lip as you stare at him. he's so fucking amazing, so caring. he's always been like this - respectful, considerate, and interested in your well being, which really just makes you want him even more.

"no, ben, i... i really want this. if-if you do too." you say honestly, fiddling with your fingers as you watch him through your lashes. he grins as he nods. "you sure?"

you giggle, pulling him towards you by his neck. "yes. are you, ben?" you ask as he leans down closer. "definitely." he whispers against your lips, his breath coming out in a short huff. and then his lips are on yours, pressing strongly and fully as you stumble a bit, grasping him tightly as you kiss back.

he presses you against him, hand at the small of your back as he moves his tongue deftly against your lip, exploring your mouth as you suppress a moan. one moment later, you pull back a bit.

"you're not..." you trail off, and he shakes his head. "no, are you?" he asks, and you also shake your head as you cup his cheek and pull him back in for a kiss. "me neither." you mutter, falling back down onto the mattress, hand blindly fumbling around inside your bedside drawer for your box of condoms.

he's kissing down your neck, his hands palming your breasts softly as you finally pull one out and set it beside you, wrapping your arms back around his neck.

he grinds slowly against you and you let out an embarrassedly loud moan at the friction against your clothed clit. he's already pretty hard and your mind flickers to the basement, how chilly it had been against your skin and how your swimsuit top probably didn't leave much to the imagination as you'd stood right in front of him. it makes you giddy at the thought of ben's eyes on you, his mind drifting to what you'd look like underneath him.

which is where you are right now, as he rolls the condom onto himself and pumps slowly. you kick your shorts and underwear off, aching and dripping with need as he slides between your legs, bracing himself with one arm above you.

"ready?" he asks softly and you let out a strangled whimper as you feel him line up at your entrance, teasing your folds a bit and making your hips buck. "yes." you say, staring deep into his eyes.

ben grasps your hand then, steading both you and him as he eases into you, sinking slowly and letting out a shuddering breath. you let out a small whine at the feeling of ben stretching you out, having been too antsy and not having enough time or patience for foreplay. once he's fully inside you, he kisses your cheek and gives you a few moments to adjust as you breathe into his neck.

and then he starts to move, his hips rolling slowly as he fills you up and hits a perfect spot inside you, your toes curling almost immediately. "oh god, ben." you moan out and that makes his hips move fluidly as he thrusts into you, kissing your neck softly as you whimper in pleasure.

the hand that isn't steadying himself above you holding your hand dances around you; exploring your curves, fingers lightly tracing over the stretch marks on your hips and then his palm sliding to caress your sides, his touch making your skin feel on fire.

after a few more minutes, he picks up the pace, hips angled slightly deeper and making your toes curl. he starts to moan every few thrusts, right into the shell of your ear, and it pushes you closer and closer to that feeling growing in your abdomen.

"shit, y/n, i'm already close." he mutters, eyes closed in bliss as he leans his head back slightly, the sight heavenly to your eyes. and you don't even blame him because he's probably just as pent-up as you are and you know this has to be quick or else richie will come up, wondering why ben was taking so long to ask if you're okay.

so you lean up a bit as he thrusts into you and you attach your lips to his neck, sucking lightly enough that it won't mark. "so am i." you say breathlessly as you move your hips, chasing the high that's building deep inside you.

you press your hands to his chest, stopping his motions momentarily. "let me ride you." you say breathlessly and his eyes widen with something akin to hunger as he pulls out of you, rolling onto his back with a shocked look. you smirk as you climb back onto him, straddling him as you pump him a few times. he bites his lip as you sink yourself onto him, moaning and covering your mouth so as not to carry the sound all the way to the basement.

as you start to bounce, you smile, realizing that you're not at all insecure in front of ben - his hands are all over your body, running over and gripping the plush skin as you sink onto him, taking him perfectly. he's groaning and moving his hips with yours as you mouth wet kisses over his chest and neck.

ben lets out a moan that pushes you near the edge as you pick up the pace, his cock hitting a new spot inside you that has you whimpering. as his hands fall to move your hips with his, squeezing your soft thighs tightly, you hit your high.

you tremble as the feeling of him inside you makes you clench hard, your eyes squeezing shut in bliss as you moan out, "ben!"

your hips stop moving as you ride out your high, only making small movements as you clench around him in complete pleasure. he groans below you, eyes still shut as he juts his hips upwards, taking over to chase his own orgasm.

and his hips start to stutter a few thrusts after as you slump on his chest, one hand on your tits and the other on your hips to move you with his thrusts. he cums a few moments later with a moan that is muffled by your hair, his hands sliding down to your ass, your lips on his collarbone.

after a few moments, you roll off of him and sigh, shocked and unsure as to if that really just happened. you're embarrassed at how quickly he made you cum - you want to blame it all on the fact that it has been quite some time since you'd had sex, but it really was the thrill of hooking up with him, especially because your brother was just downstairs.

ben's cheeks are red as he sits up quickly, pulling on his boxers and then his pants, only looking at you after he tugs the hem of his shirt down. "um, i would totally stay, but-"

you shake your head with a grin, "no, i get it. this was... just a spur of the moment thing."

he beams at you, seemingly relieved that he wasn't hurting your feelings - that was amazing and you're both glowing in your post-orgasm high, but you both know that this was a one-time thing. he pecks your cheek sweetly and as he turns to leave, you mutter, "wait!"

he lifts a brow as he turns to you and you run your fingers through his hair a few times to make it look the way it did before he came up here. "thanks." he says with a grin before he disappears, closing the door behind him and making you get dressed with red cheeks in silence.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings​ @stenbrozier​ @simplesammyx @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier​ @oceandog13​ @finnskindofwoman​  @kait-tozier​ @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @brxken-heartsclub

[caitlesshea]

love slipped beyond your reaches

Buck and Eddie are separated. Can an accident help them find their way back to each other?

“Papa!”

Buck startles at the sound of Christopher’s scream, only for it to be followed up by the cries from his sister CiCi. 

“Shit,” Buck whispers as he and Hen run outside to see what happened. 

“CiCi? Chris? What happened?” Buck asks as Hen looks over CiCi, who’s cradling her wrist. 

“She fell,” Chris says, barely holding it together. Even though he’s fifteen, seeing his baby sister hurt isn’t easy. 

“Looks like it’s broken, Buckaroo.”

“You sure?” Buck asks as he pulls CiCi closer to him. Hen nods. 

“Go. I’ll watch Chris, and I’ll bring him by later when you’re home.

“Okay. Thank you.” Buck scoops up CiCi, even though she’s five.

“Chris?”

“Go, Papa, we’ll be fine,” Chris says simply and comes up to kiss CiCi’s forehead. “Plus Denny and I wanted to try this new game.”

“Or you both could do your homework,” Hen responds and they groan. “Go, Buck.”

“Alright. C’mon CiCi, hospital for you, sweetie.”

“Papa, no.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Your wrist looks broken.”

CiCi just cries some more as he puts her into her booster seat. 

Buck drives them to the hospital, heart aching for CiCi, and for Chris and Denny having to witness her falling. 

Buck’s going to have to tell Eddie, knowing he can’t keep this from him, even if he’s on shift. 

When they pull up to the hospital and finally get checked in, Buck pulls out his phone. 

To Eddie: CiCi fell on her wrist when we were at Hen’s. Took her to the ER. Chris is still at Hen’s, will update you when we see a dr

He leaves the text like that, hopeful they aren’t on a call and Eddie will respond sooner rather than later. 

He isn’t looking forward to seeing him sooner than scheduled, with the kids spending the last two days with Buck, and would be until it was his turn to be on shift. 

“Papa, my arm hurts,” CiCi whines into his side. 

“I know, baby. Hopefully we see the doctor soon.”

Buck puts a hand against his forehead, chastising himself for thinking of himself when his daughter probably has a broken wrist. 

Even though he and Eddie separated nearly nine months ago, it doesn’t make it any easier to see each other, especially in a situation where one of the kids is hurt. 

“Cecilia Buckey-Diaz?”

“That’s us,” Buck says back to the nurse and picks up CiCi. 

When they take her to X-ray, Buck calls Maddie, after seeing no response from Eddie. 

“Hey, baby brother,” Maddie greets cheerfully. 

“Hey, Mads.”

“What’s wrong?” Maddie asks immediately and Buck nearly breaks down. 

“CiCi fell, we’re at the hospital, broken wrist.”

“Oh no, poor kid. Where’s Chris?”

“Still at Hen’s.”

“Have you told Eddie?” 

“I texted him,” Buck responds hotly.

“Evan,” Maddie scolds.

“What?” 

“You need to call him, she’s his daughter, too.”

“You think I don’t know that,” Buck snaps and then winces at his tone. “Shit, I’m sorry Maddie. You’re right, I’ll call.”

“Good. Let me know how it goes with CiCi, too. I can stop over and bring dinner later?”

“No, don’t worry about it, thanks though.” 

“Love you, Ev.”

“Love you, too, Mads.”

Buck hangs up, more wrung out than he was before the call, and plays with his phone, debating on whether or not to call Eddie. 

Before he can decide they’ve wheeled CiCi back from X-ray and Buck smiles. 

“Hi, baby.”

“Papa,” CiCi whines tiredly. 

“The doctor will be in soon to go over the X-rays and discuss next steps.”

“Thank you.” Buck helps CiCi back up onto the bed, running his fingers through her hair as she rests. 

By the time she falls asleep the doctor is telling them that she did break her wrist and she’ll need a cast for six weeks. 

Buck wakes her up so she can pick a color. Just as she chooses pink, Eddie rushes into the room. 

“Evan?” 

“Hey, she’s okay. Broken wrist. They’re putting the cast on now,” Buck placates. 

Eddie shoots him a dark look as he moves toward the bed. As soon as CiCi sees him she lights up. 

“Daddy! They’re giving me a pink cast.”

“I see that, sweetheart.” Eddie sits in the other chair and holds CiCi’s other hand, the two of them chatting about what happened. 

Buck bites his tongue because if he doesn’t he’ll say something like ‘you could’ve texted me back’ or some other snarky remark that won’t help matters. 

He doesn’t know when their easy conversations and flirty banter turned into biting remarks and heated words. 

He almost wishes they yelled at each other, away from the kids, of course, but yelling might get them somewhere other than dirty looks and resentment. 

“Alright, Mr. Buckley-Diaz, she’s good to go. Tylenol for the pain, but that should go away in a day or two. Watch for fevers, don’t get the cast wet. You know the drill,” The doctor says to both of them and hands Buck a packet of care instructions.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” The doctor smiles. “We’ll see you back to take this off next month.”

Buck helps CiCi get down off the bed while Eddie grabs their things. 

“I’ll take her home if you wouldn’t mind picking up Chris?” Buck asks as he gets CiCi buckled into the Jeep. 

“Sure. I’ll bring him to you.”

“Thanks.” 

Buck turns away as Eddie kisses CiCi’s forehead, promising he’ll see her soon. 

“C’mon, let’s go home.”

“I want pizza for dinner, Papa.” 

Buck snorts. “Fine, but only because you got hurt.”

CiCi smiles and Buck breathes for the first time in what feels like hours. 

When they get home Buck sets CiCi up on the couch while he orders pizza. He orders Eddie’s favorites, too, figuring he’ll want to stay for a little bit. 

Buck looks around at his small house, something he rents for cheap while they figure out how to separate their finances. 

It hurts his heart to think of their home and how Eddie still lives there. It was only right, after all, it was Eddie’s place first. When it was just him and Chris. 

Buck isn’t sure he has a safe space anymore. 

He’s brought out of his musings by the sound of a key turning in the door, signaling Eddie is back with Chris. 

Chris waves to him and makes a beeline for CiCi, absolutely thrilled that he’s the first to sign her new cast. 

Buck turns and looks at Eddie, who’s standing there looking out of place in Buck’s home. 

And isn’t that a punch to the gut. 

Eddie’s staring at some of the pictures that line the wall, eyes fixated on one of the four of them. 

“The kids…” Buck clears his throat. “They wanted to hang that photo.”

Buck doesn’t know why he’s explaining himself. It’s his house and both Chris and CiCi had been adamant about having at least one photo of Eddie. Chris also has a picture of Shannon in his room. 

Eddie doesn’t say anything, just nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. A sure sign that he’s either nervous or annoyed. Probably both. 

“I, uh, ordered pizza. I figured you’d want to stay?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay?”

“It is. I just have to finish up some of the dinners for tomorrow, so you can?”

“I’ll stay in the kitchen, I think Chris wants time with her.”

“Sure. Drink?” Buck rubs his hands on his pants as he grabs two beers and hands one to Eddie.

They haven’t talked just the two of them in a long time and Buck isn’t sure what to say. He busies himself with finishing up the last two dishes he was going to send with the kids to Eddie’s tomorrow. 

“Thanks,” Eddie clears his throat. “For cooking.”

“Of course. Don’t want the kids to starve.” 

It’s not a lie, of course, but it makes Buck feel useful, cooking for his family. Even if Eddie doesn’t want him anymore at least he still likes his cooking. 

“Right.” 

“Hen said, uh…” Eddie pauses and then shakes his head. “We can redo the playdate in a couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, I was texting her. Thanks.” 

Buck sticks one lasagna in the fridge and gets to work on the chicken pasta. He can feel Eddie staring at him, as his neck prickles with awareness. 

Where he’d once welcomed that scrutiny now it just makes him feel anxious. 

“We should,” Buck clears his throat. “Maybe we can do family dinners once a week, Sunday’s?” 

“Oh, you’d want to?”

“The kids have mentioned it, since we both have a couple of hours before my night shift on Sundays.” 

It’s not a total lie. The kids have asked for family dinners, and he feels like tonight will only bring on more questions. But, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t also wanting them. 

“Sure. Yeah, I think we could do that.” 

“Really?” Buck asks, shocked that Eddie agreed. 

“Well only if you’re cooking.”

Buck snorts. “Of course.” 

Eddie laughs and the familiar banter makes Buck pause. This is the longest they’ve gone without snapping at each other in such a long time that Buck almost forgot what Eddie sounds like when he’s laughing. 

“What happened to us?” Buck asks quietly after a moment. 

“Evan.”

“I’m serious,” Buck turns around so he’s facing Eddie, mindful of the kids in the living room. “We never used to fight, it never used to feel like I couldn’t breathe around you.” 

“I don’t know.” 

“But you do know, Eddie.” Buck stares at Eddie, waiting. 

“It just got overwhelming. Chris’ latest surgery, him going to college, the home improvements, CiCi needing braces. I felt like we were drowning. I know we weren’t but it was too much and I started snapping at you and then I couldn’t stop.” 

Buck knew that. He knew most of that, but to hear it laid out, so clearly, makes his heart hurt. 

“I’m not saying I move back in, even though finances are tight, but maybe a counselor…”

“I’ll do it.”

“Wait, really?”

“Evan. I hate that I can’t talk to you anymore, more so after you left, and I want to.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asks and Buck’s feeling hopeful. 

“Yeah, but you’re taking me on a date first.”

Buck smiles at Eddie and waits for him to answer. 

“Deal.” 

[bibybuck]

in a car with a beautiful boy

fandom: 9-1-1

pairing: Buck/Eddie

rating: teen and up

word count: 4.3k words

summary: Buck crashed into his life, brighter than a meteorite, lighting up everything around Eddie. Life suddenly made sense. It made sense before, with Shannon and especially with Christopher, but it’s always been a little bit off-kilter, like someone forgot to remove the lens from the camera. Then Buck happened."

Chris has a birthday party to attend an hour and a half away. Buck volunteers to go with Eddie and by the time they get home, their life will have forever changed.

for @santiagosnart

inspired by and title from the quote below!

[read on ao3]

or under the cut!

“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.”

Richard Siken

Christopher has a birthday party in San Jacinto. A fellow kid with CP, one of his best friends he made over the past couple of years. And Eddie is supposed to stay in San Jacinto for the duration of the party, but he has errands to run back home. So he drops Chris off, before heading back the same way a mere ten minutes later.

He’s used to long days, exhaustion and always being on the move. But driving an hour and a half in Los Angeles traffic, after two 12-hour shifts and a 28-hour shift covering for the B team, is just the cherry on the sundae. So while he waits at the bank, he texts Buck.

Eddie

I’m so tired… would I be a bad father if I took Chris to Abuela’s so I can have a good night’s sleep?

Buck

I think that’s what a sane father would do do you still need to head back?

Eddie

yeah in a couple of hours currently at the bank so this will take like five years

After that, Buck goes radio silent. He’s probably fallen asleep and honestly? Eddie doesn’t blame him in the slightest. If he could, Eddie would be in bed, too.

(He’d prefer to be in Buck’s bed, but those are thoughts he won’t think about while queuing at the bank.)

20 minutes later, and after he’s moved up a whole of 2 places in the line, there’s a tap on his shoulder. He thinks maybe it’s an old man wanting to jump the queue and he’s not ready for an argument. But he turns and sees none other than Buck.

“What the hell? What are you doing here?”

“Well I can’t have you drive for 3 hours on your own, can I?”

Eddie’s love for Buck grows immensely after that single sentence, something he didn’t know was possible.

He’s come to terms with the fact that he’s in love with Buck a while ago. At first, it terrified him. The world he knew, the world where he’s straight, turned upside down in the blink of an eye. Buck crashed into his life, brighter than a meteorite, lighting up everything around Eddie. Life suddenly made sense. It made sense before, with Shannon and especially with Christopher, but it’s always been a little bit off-kilter, like someone forgot to remove the lens from the camera.

Then Buck happened. The world straightened (ha!) and Eddie realised the reason it was tilted because there was a part of himself that he didn’t understand. One look at Buck and Eddie knew he was attracted to men as well, even though he didn’t understand how he could go all those years without realising.

It’s been Buck all along. When the world is crazy, when the people are losing their shit, Buck’s there. Like a tether that holds Eddie back from floating away.

So moments like this, when Buck acts kind and selfless, only make Eddie realise how much he loves him. And it doesn’t scare him anymore. It used to; he didn’t want to jeopardise the friendship he has with Buck or the relationship Buck and Chris have. He vowed to protect those, even if it gives him a broken heart. But he knows that sometimes, there’s a love so big, so overpowering that you have to gamble and risk everything, no matter the consequences. He knows that probably they could work things out. They managed to figure out a way past the lawsuit and all the other fights.

“Eddie, the line’s moving,” Buck leans in, whispering in Eddie’s ear. Eddie feels Buck’s hot breath on the side of his neck and hot damn. If they weren’t in a public place, Eddie would be turning to rip Buck’s clothes off, consequences be damned.

“Uh, thanks.”

After another 20 minutes, the bank is sorted. While Eddie talks to the teller, Buck goes to grab coffee for them. They meet back at the car.

“One latte with two pumps of mocha for Edmundo, and one Midnight Mint Mocha Frappuccino for Evan.”

Eddie makes an ‘ew’ face. “Please never call yourself Evan again.”

Buck blushes. “Yeah, it felt weird,” he says quietly, before extending his hand forward. Eddie looks at him confused. “The keys.”

“What, why?”

“Cause I’m driving?”

“Why?”

“Because you went to San Jacinto so technically you’ve been up for longer than I have. Plus, I’m younger.”

Eddie blinks at him and he has to restrain himself from lunging forward and kissing the sweet life out of Buck.

“Rude, but thanks.”

They get in, with Buck driving and pull out into the afternoon traffic. For a couple of minutes, apart from upbeat music Buck chooses, they sit in relative silence, but it’s a silence Eddie’s comfortable in.

“How’d you know where I was?” Eddie asks when they go up to the I-10.

Buck gives him a look as if he’s waiting for the punchline. “I-I-I know you. Besides, you’ve complained so much about other tellers because no one understands you like Elena or what her name does.”

Eddie nods. Yep, now that rings a bell. Still, the fact that Buck remembers something trivial warms his heart.

“Thanks for meeting me.”

“Of course.”

Buck looks at him. He has this faint smile playing on his lips, but when his eyes focus on Eddie, it grows a little wider. His face softens. Then he catches himself, clears his throat and turns his attention back to the traffic.

Eddie wishes Buck kept staring because then his own staring wouldn’t be that out of place. And he wants to keep staring at Buck because he is the most exquisite human being.

God, Eddie is really stupidly in love with this boy.

Their trip to San Jacinto is uneventful. They talk about work, about Chris, about what’s going on in their lives. (Well… Mostly. Eddie doesn’t tell Buck about the most burning thing ever. Not just yet, even though he’s made a promise to himself that one of these days, he’ll tell him.) They talk about Maddie and the baby and just how excited Buck is to be an uncle.

“Do you want kids?” Eddie asks without even thinking, which makes Buck’s ears and cheeks turn crimson red. “You don’t have to answer that, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, uh… Yeah, I think… I mean I don’t…” Buck says, fumbling his way through an answer. “Yeah, I do. I love kids, man. I’ve always wanted to have kids but I just… I guess I haven’t found…” Buck looks at Eddie for a second. His eyes burn their way through Eddie’s soul, but then his gaze is gone. “I guess I need to grow up a bit, first.”

“I mean I’ve seen you with Chris, and man, he loves you.” Eddie needs to shut up and like right now. “You’re great with kids and you’ll be great with your own one day.”

Buck looks at him again, his cheeks still burning. “Yeah?”

“Of course.”

Eddie desperately wants to tell him that when Buck’s not around for whatever reason, Chris asks after him. Sometimes he wants Buck to tell him a bedtime story, or he wants Buck to make him breakfast. But he’s not around then. Eddie wants him to be and by the looks of it, Chris does too. Eddie wants Buck to be around 24/7, he wants him in their space, making it his as well.

They go back to discussing work and the pranks Chim’s been playing on an unsuspecting Bobby. Eddie finds out that Buck’s been helping Chim, which further confirms his Golden Retrieverness.

Buck wants to wait in the car while Eddie gets Chris.

“Don’t be stupid, he’ll be over the moon to see you,” Eddie tells Buck. Buck, still behind the wheel, runs his finger on the dashboard while chewing on his lip. “What?”

“I just…” Buck throws his hand up in the air. “I just don’t want to barge in.”

“What? Why’d you think you’d be barging in?”

“Cause it’s… It’s just…” He sighs.

“Buck, come on. You’ve never hesitated like this.”

They look at each other. Buck, his hands gripping the wheel, tightening his fist around it, knuckles going white. Eddie, outside the car, leaning against the frame, poking his head through the open door. The moment hangs in the air, as if there’s something neither of them wants to talk about or maybe they don’t even know they should be talking about.

“It’s about earlier. It made me realise that… You know what, nevermind, it's stupid. Go, get your son.”

Eddie furrows his brows. He doesn’t understand Buck’s sudden hesitation. He’s always been happy to help out with Chris. He found Carla, he picks Chris up from school when Eddie can’t, even takes him for days out.

So he gets back in the car, slamming the door behind him.

“What’s this about, Buck? Chris wants you here, you know that.”

“I know, it’s just… It’s stupid.”

Eddie turns towards him as much as the tight space lets him. “Go on, spit it out.”

“Fine.” Buck moves in his seat too. “Earlier we were talking about kids and I don’t know, it’s just got to me. You and Chris, you’re a family and… I just don’t see where I fit in the picture.”

“Buck… Come on, don’t say that.” Eddie hesitantly puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Chris loves you. He misses you when you’re not there to help him with the Lego. He sometimes wanders into the garage and asks when you’ll take him skateboarding next. He wants you there. I want you there.”

“I just feel like I’m always crashing the party, like I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

“You definitely haven’t.” Eddie gives Buck’s shoulder a squeeze. “We both love it when you’re around. Chris was excited to come to this party but he’ll be happier seeing you.”

Buck looks at Eddie. Seemingly, his eyes are a bit shinier than before. He weakly nods then his usual Buck smile returns. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Inside, there are children running around. Chris is one of them, laughing, playing with the other kids. CP has taken so much away from him but also given him so much. When he sees Eddie, he grins at him, then his eyes land on Buck. He squeals and starts running toward them. He dodges Eddie’s hug and runs straight to Buck. Buck picks him up, giving him a big hug. His and Eddie’s eyes meet and Eddie gives him an ‘I told you so’ look.

“Hey, bud,” Eddie says to his son when it’s his turn to pick him up. “How was the party?”

“It was good! We had cake, we went into the ball pit and we even had cotton candy!”

“Oh wow, sounds like you had a great time!” From the corner of his eyes, he sees a woman waving him over. “I’m gonna talk to Micah’s mom, okay? Stay here with Buck and tell him about that cool dino book we’ve been reading!”

Eddie makes his way over to her, dodging several kids on the way.

“Eddie! Hi!” Lisa says, with her overly enthusiastic voice that he just can’t get used to.

“Hi Lisa, thank you for inviting Chris to the party. He’s had a wonderful time.”

“Oh, of course! Micah keeps talking about him all the time. We should do that sleepover one time like we’ve talked about.”

“Definitely! I think it’d be good for both kids.”

She nods, her eyes wandering over to Chris and Buck. “Oh, who’s he? I haven’t seen him before!”

“It’s Buck, we work together.”

“Do you know if he’s got a special lady friend?”

Eddie’s eyes go wide and he feels his cheeks heating up. Lisa’s not wasting any seconds. “Uh…”

Lisa blinks at him and then it’s her time to blush. “Oh, sorry, is he your boyfriend? I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“No, not boyfriend,” Eddie says quickly. Too quickly.

“Really? I mean I was getting… You know what nevermind.” She gives him an apologetic smile.

Eddie really shouldn’t push it. But he does. “You were getting…?”

“I got a vibe from you just now. I have been flirting with you, you know. So have other single moms. I mean… Look at you. But nothing. We thought it was because of your divorce from Shannon, but then you waltzed in here with him…”

“Oh,” is all Eddie can say. This is a very uncomfortable conversation and he’d like to leave.

“I’m just talking silly things, gosh. Look at me, I’m making a fool of myself.”

“No, that’s… I mean you weren’t 100% wrong. There is a vibe.”

“Hmm.” She narrows her eyes. “Well, alright. Glad Chris enjoyed the party! Do let me know about that sleepover.”

“Will do, thanks, Lisa.”

He slowly makes his way back to Buck and Chris. Eddie’s head is full of chaos. He really didn’t realise he was being flirted at. He wasn’t exactly paying attention — he didn’t need to. His mind has been occupied with Buck. And if his pining is so obvious to a stranger who barely saw Eddie and Buck together, how obvious can it be to Chim? To Hen? To Bobby, who seems to know about everything, but never says anything?

How obvious is Eddie’s pining to Buck?

It makes Eddie dizzy. It’s not that he wants to hide it. He doesn’t want to bury it. But Chris has lost so much: his grandparents, his home where he grew up. Then Eddie’s and Shannon’s divorce happened. He can’t even think about giving Chris more heartache. Eddie wasn’t there at first. He doesn’t want Chris to lose Buck.

“You okay?” Buck asks quietly when Eddie sits in a chair next to Chris.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He gives a faint smile to Buck. “Ready to go, bud?”

“I’m tired,” Chris whines.

“I know. Come on, I’ll carry you.” Eddie stands then leans down to pick Chris up, but Chris is not budging. “If you want your bed, you need to move.”

“I want Buck.”

Eddie and Buck share a look. Eddie silently asks him if it’s okay, but Buck is already picking Chris up. Eddie follows them, carrying Chris’s crutches.

If he could pinpoint a moment, where he knew he was so fucking desperately in love with Buck, Eddie would say that this is it. Buck, carrying Chris to the car, holding him like he is the most precious thing ever. Chris has his head on Buck’s shoulder and he’s smiling dreamily because this is just the best conclusion to the perfect day ever. And Eddie is losing his mind because this is the life he wants to have.

So he decides, he’ll tell Buck later tonight. Consequences be damned.

As soon as Buck puts Chris down in the car, Chris is out for the count. Buck puts his seatbelt on and presses a quick kiss on his forehead.

“He really is tired, then,” Buck says. There’s faint redness in his cheeks and Eddie wonders if it’s because Buck is overthinking the fact he’s crossed a line. He hasn’t. “Not even the crazy amount of sugar can keep him awake.”

“No.” Eddie stifles a yawn. “When we’re home, can I get some food into you? That’s the least I can do for coming on this trip.”

“Can we get takeout, though? No offence, but you look like you’re ready to drop dead from exhaustion.”

Eddie nods. Buck really is the most caring person ever. He’s been so good to Chris, yeah, but to Eddie as well. “Sure, let’s go.”

Buck is driving again. Eddie didn’t even have to ask, Buck was already going to sit behind the wheel. He pulls out the parking spot, before heading back towards Los Angeles.

They barely talk for the majority of the road trip. Sometimes they point out idiot drivers or talk about work or life, but there are no big discussions. Sometimes, Buck will drum on the wheel with his fingers, as if he’s trying to say something. But he doesn’t. And Eddie’s deep in thought, writing the perfect speech in his head.

He knows that it probably doesn’t exist. The best he can do is to tell the truth and speak from his heart. He hates how cliche it sounds, but they both deserve some transparency. He’s determined to make this work, no matter what the outcome will be.

“You okay?” Buck asks quietly when they’re only minutes away from home.

“Hm? Yeah, of course. Just tired.”

“Yeah. I think I’ll sleep for the next three days.”

“Mm, sounds like a plan.”

Buck drums on the wheel again. Then a minute later he says, “Sure you okay? Other than the exhaustion.”

Eddie knows that this is it. Buck is probably giving him an opening, but giving his non-existent big speech in the car just feels weird.

“Yeah, why?”

Buck shrugs. “You’re just quiet.”

“Well, you’re not exactly a chatterbox either.”

They look at each other for a second, then Buck laughs quietly. “Right, you’re right. I don’t know, I guess I’m still thinking about that conversation we had earlier.” Buck looks into the rearview mirror, right at Chris who’s still dead asleep in the backseat. “Chris is really lucky to have you. You’re raising a good kid.”

“Well, it’s not all me.”

Buck nods. “Yeah, no, of course, Shannon’s done a good job as well.”

Eddie looks at him and feels that this is it. “I meant you.” Buck turns to look at him in confusion. “Buck, you’ve helped out more times than I can count. You’re there for me and for Chris and we’re just… We’re just so grateful.”

Eddie will forever remember the moments that follow. Silence falls on the car, but it’s a different kind. It’s not one that you’re desperate to fill in with noise, but one that’s serene. There are no words needed and why would they be needed anyway? Eddie knows Buck and Buck knows Eddie, but it goes beyond that. It’s a deep connection, formed by camaraderie, saving each other many times. Formed by friendship, by trust. Formed by love. There’s a quiet understanding between them. Eddie doesn’t know what it is or how it comes to be. It’s just the way they’re looking at each other, the way the moment holds, the atmosphere in the car. But it’s there and it’s so palpable. Everything just suddenly makes sense, even more so than before. The world has not only returned to its normal axis, but it’s now locked in.

Eddie is looking at Buck. He’s never looked away and he doesn’t want to. He feels like this is the first time he sees him: strong jaw, scars that haven’t healed properly, stubble he wants to touch. As if the mist has vanished and Buck is clearly visible now. Raw and beautiful and Eddie’s heart aches.

Buck’s looking right back at him. Buck’s eyes drop for a second, then he slowly extends his hand forwards, hesitantly putting it on Eddie’s which is just resting on his thigh. The callouses on Buck’s hand help to ground Eddie.

Buck smiles shyly and whispers, as if he doesn’t want to break that precious silence, “I love you.”

Eddie’s not jumping up and down. He’s overjoyed to be hearing those words, yeah, but after that moment they just had, he knew that this is happening. He doesn’t know why he knew, but it just made sense as if finally the last puzzle piece made it into its rightful place.

“I love you too.”

There’s faint redness in Buck’s cheeks again. “No, I meant…”

“I did too,” Eddie reassures him, then he’s determined to say those few words first. “I’m in love with you. Evan Buckley. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.”

He feels so free now, so liberated to be able to say that.

“Oh, Eddie…” Buck’s hand gives Eddie’s a small squeeze. “I love you so fucking much. God, I want to scream it.”

Eddie chuckles. “Maybe don’t, you really don’t want to deal with a grumpy Chris.”

Buck looks at him again, then at Chris, then back at Eddie. “I do. That’s all I want to do forever.”

Buck has to look back at the road if they want to survive this journey, but Eddie wants to keep Buck’s gaze just a little bit longer.

Eddie looks out the window. This isn’t their neighbour, but Buck’s. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going home? I figured you can survive a five-minute drive home.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I can survive five minutes without you. Not now that I can say ‘I love you’ to you.”

“Oh, fuck, Eddie…” Buck reaches over and laces their fingers together. “You’re killing me.”

“Not my goal, but go on, drive us home. My place, this time.”

Ten minutes later (thanks LA traffic), Buck pulls into Eddie’s driveway, just as Chris is waking up.

“Hey, bud, we’re home,” Eddie says, turning around to his son.

“Is Buck staying over?” Chris asks while rubbing his eyes.

“Uh,” Buck says, but Eddie quickly jumps in.

“We’re gonna get some food, you hungry?” To this, Chris just shakes his head. “Alright, shower, teeth, and bed.”

“But daaaad, I’m too tired!”

This time, Eddie will let it slide. “Alright, brush your teeth and bed.”

They all get out, making their way towards the house. Inside, Buck and Eddie go to the kitchen, Chris goes to the bathroom.

“I’m surprised he isn’t jumping on his bed after all that sugar,” Buck says.

“So am I. I guess he had loads of fun in the ball pit.”

Eddie goes to grab two beers. He hands one to Buck. He also doesn’t know why he’s feeling so awkward suddenly. They got over the most difficult part and it was fine. More than fine.

Eddie is about to open his mouth, when Chris yells, “Buck!”

Both Eddie and Buck run to the bathroom. Chris is not there and panic hits Eddie in the chest. But then they look across the hall and see Chris sitting on his bed, already wearing pyjamas.

“Chris, you scared us,” Buck says, dramatically putting his hand over his heart. “I don’t know if I’ll survive this.”

This sends Chris giggling. Eddie walks over to his son and presses a kiss on the top of his head. “You okay, buddy?”

“Dad, can Buck read my bedtime story?”

Eddie looks at Buck. Buck nods and goes to Chris’s bookcase. “What do you want to read?”

Eddie decides to leave Chris and Buck to their own devices. He feels like this is a time just for the two of them. “I’ll order us some food,” he says to Buck quietly.

Before he leaves, he watches Buck climb next to Chris, the book already open in his hand. Buck gives him one last look before he starts reading.

Eddie goes back to the kitchen, quickly ordering some burgers. He orders Chris some as well, knowing full well that he will wake up in about two hours saying that he’s hungry. He always does.

Once it’s done, he leans against the counters, sipping on his beer. Would it be this easy? To have this life? To have Chris and Buck? Because this is what Eddie wants. Today, tomorrow, forever.

What he and Shannon had was good — then it wasn’t. But they had Chris, and he wouldn’t change the past for anything. He doesn’t know what this is. He doesn’t know if it’ll last with Buck. He hopes that it will. He’s learnt from his past mistakes and he’ll put everything into making it work. He wants to keep this going, whatever this may be.

And he knows that if (when) they tell Christopher, that little boy will be over the moon. Chris loves his dad, but he loves Buck just as much. And lucky for Eddie and Chris, Buck loves them.

“He’s out,” Buck says quietly, as he walks into the kitchen. “Took me shorter than expected.”

Eddie doesn’t know where it comes from, but he has an urge to say something. “I know we haven’t had a discussion about us, but… I know how much you love Chris and we love you too. You’re a part of the family and I think you have been for a long time but it took me a minute to catch up. I know this is too soon and I’m not expecting an answer now. We don’t even know if we’ll work out, but if we do, I want you to know that you have the option of becoming Chris’s dad. Officially. ‘Cause, you do act like it and he looks at you as if you were his dad, too. I just want you to know that it’s there for the future.”

Buck freezes for a moment as he processes it, then he lunges forward, kissing Eddie. His hands cup Eddie’s jaw as Eddie puts his fingers in Buck’s hair.

The kiss… It’s passion. It’s anger. It’s lust. It’s desire. It’s need, want, belonging, hope, home. It’s past, present, future. It’s everything. It’s love.

[alecmagnuslwb]

Rent a Holidate

Read on AO3

Magnus is barely paying attention as his father blathers on about his annual Thanksgiving party. It’s the same as every year, food made by an overpaid chef, schmoosing clients and Magnus being expected to attend and behave.

They don’t even really celebrate Thanksgiving and it’s definitely not about family coming together to be thankful for the things they have and the love they share, it’s a way for his father to impress his clients with the size of his house and the happy little family picture that he, whoever his latest wife is and Magnus make. It’s a fake night, filled with fake rich people that Magnus loathes more and more every single year.

There’s a pause on his fathers end of the line and Magnus scrambles assuming he was asked some sort of question.

“Yes, of course,” he says hoping that’s the right answer. Evidently it’s neutral considering his father’s monotonous response.

“Fine then, I hope that he or she will be an acceptable date for the evening,” his father says. Oh shit, he thinks, did I just agree to bring a date to this thing?

For a moment he considers backtracking saying he won’t be bringing anyone, it’s not like he’s been on so much as a half decent date in over a year, but he knows his father, once you’ve said something you act on it, no turning back. So instead he grits his teeth and accepts he’ll be bullshitting his way through an emergency excuse to why his fake partner couldn’t attend the night of.

“He is very acceptable,” Magnus says faux cheery conjuring up a fake boyfriend in his head. Not that any partner of his could be deemed acceptable by his father, his father even finds his own career path teaching English at NYU to be an underperformance.

“It’s not Columbia,” he always says whenever Magnus talks about his work.

“Well, then I look forward to meeting him,” his father says not at all sounding like he’s looking forward to it. Which is good considering Magnus’ supposed boyfriend is a complete fabrication. “I’ll see you in a week.”

And just like that he hangs up, no goodbye, nothing.

Magnus sighs tossing his phone into the graded paper box on his desk and begins crafting a personality and profession for his fake boyfriend just in case he needs a more solid alibi.

***

Magnus laments his woes to Dot and Catarina later that night, it’s Thursday which means mimosas and movies.

“Part of me just wants to make up an excuse and be done with it, it’s not like he’ll even remember in a week’s time after the fact that I ever even had a supposed boyfriend,” Magnus says pausing to take a sip of his mimosa. “The other part of me just wants to bring the world’s worst date and embarrass him to no end.”

“You mean Camille wasn’t the world’s worst date?” Dot says curling up in the chair beside Cat with her own mimosa in hand.

“Camille was the world’s worst date, but she never was one to make a scene, she was quietly and privately terrible,” Magnus says moving quickly past the topic of his wicked ex. “I mean someone who’s not a bad person, just kind of a mess.”

“Why don’t you hire the guy Dot hired last year for her family reunion?” Cat says not even bothering to look up from her phone as she scrolls reading reviews for the movie they’re about to watch.

“Yeah he was great,” Dot says agreeing with Cat’s suggestion. “His names Alec. He can’t play straight to save his life which made it even better because my whole family was convinced I was not only dating a worthless degenerate, but a worthless degenerate gay man. Hilarious, honestly.”

She pulls up something on her phone and hands it to Magnus. It’s a Craigslist ad titled, Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your dad? Tired of your family’s absurd expectations?

He takes the phone reading the post entirely.

My name is Alec Lightwood, I’m a 28 year old almost felon who went to college for three weeks before dropping out. I have a Thunderbird that’s only a year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen’s red guitar. It’s hideous and embarrassing and I love it. I can play anywhere between the ages of 23 to 32 depending on if I shave. I’m a bartender and occasional bouncer when the need requires, I haven’t been seen not in a leather jacket with a tear in the back since high school, I’m gay and very bad at hiding it and I’ve even got an eyebrow scar that’s sure to raise a few eyebrows (get it, raise a few eyebrows).

If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for a gathering of some sort, but have me pretend to be in a very serious relationship with you to torment your family, I’m game.

I can do these things at your request:

-        Openly hit on other guests while you act like you don’t notice (of any gender, I may be gay but I can embarrassingly hit on anyone even if it’s not convincing).

 -        Start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion (sports are off the table however unless your family are big into the Rangers or Islanders, then I can talk shit for days.)

 -        Propose to you in front of everyone and you tearily accept or you turn me down and I proceed to have a breakdown, but we resolve to work on our relationship much to your family’s chagrin.

 -        Pretend to be increasingly drunk as the evening goes on (sorry, I don’t actually drink anymore, but I used to. A lot. Too much in fact. I know the drill.)

 -        Start a screaming match with a family member, that could come to blows (but no one will be physically harmed, I promise) either inside or on the front lawn (if there is one) for all the neighbors to see.

I require no pay but the free food I will receive as a guest at any event!

We can meet prior to the event somewhere public and you can ask me any questions. And I mean any questions so that you feel safe.

-        Do NOT contact with unsolicited services or offers. Email me at: lightwoodarcher@gmail.com

“Um, he’s a felon?” Magnus says looking up from the phone when he’s done.

“Hey, don’t judge, you’re not exactly rap sheet free,” Dot says scolding him with a smile. Which okay, he does have a few arrests on his record, petty little things and pick-ups at a protest or two, but felonies are a bit above that. He says that aloud. “Also, as it says he’s technically an almost felon.”

“He’s not a murderer or anything, I had Raphael check out his history before I requested his services,” Dot continues on to explain, referring to their friend who’s a prosecutor. “He got picked up for aggravated assault after he caught the guy who got his sister hooked on drugs in her bed shooting her up, it was a bullshit charge from a snake of a man who deserved every hit he got. The charges were ultimately dropped and settled when the piece of shit he beat up got hit with about ten felonies himself. He’s a good guy, like a really good guy I promise.”

“Didn’t Raphael even stress that he never would have convicted Alec in a million years on the charges?” Cat says getting up from her seat and heading to the kitchen to refill her mimosa glass.

Dot nods taking a sip of her drink. “He did, he said any jury would have sided with him over the 30 year old drug pusher preying on an 18 year old girl. And even though we can’t tell him, because we don’t want him to smirk about it all the time and get a big head, we both know Raphael is the best judge of character and lawyer in America.”

It’s true, Raphael always knows what he’s talking about.

“Plus,” Dot continues on. “Alec’s very upfront about it, I didn’t even need to do the background check he told me exactly what went down when we met for coffee before the event, even brought his sister along to corroborate and make me feel comfortable.”

“Wow,” Magnus says genuinely surprised by the decency of a man on the internet.

“Also, he’s very cute,” Dot smirks over the rim of her glass waggling her eyebrows in Magnus’ direction.

Magnus rolls his eyes. “I don’t think it matters if my fake date is cute.”

“So you’re gonna do it?” Catarina says coming back in the room, a pitcher filled to the brim with mimosa mix in her hand.

Magnus bites his lip in thought as he looks down at the phone in his hand again. He does want to cause a ruckus, he’s tired of being the perfect little son when his father needs him to be. And Alec Lightwood might just be able to provide the exact ruckus he’s looking for.

“What the hell,” he mutters before tossing Dot’s phone to her. “Do I need to email him, or do you still have his number?”

Dot smiles in delight as she taps on her phone his own phone buzzing in his pocket a second later with Alec’s number.

***

Alec keeps his text exchanges simple, offering to meet Magnus the following afternoon after Magnus’ noon class for coffee. Alec lets Magnus choose everything, clearly dedicated to making the person contacting him as comfortable as possible. Luckily for Magnus Alec’s had no inquiries for this Thanksgiving, except for one that was definitely unsavory and he turned down immediately.

With such short notice Magnus thought for sure this might not work out.

He walks in scanning the shop looking for Alec and comes up empty based on Dot’s description of him. He gets in line and orders a drink finding a table off to the side where it’s not too crowded to sit and wait. He’s barely settled into his seat when the chime above the door rings and in walks a stunner with long legs and dark hair.

The man pauses scanning the room, then his eyes land on Magnus his lips tilt up just a bit and he walks over his way.

“Magnus Bane?” he says in question when he reaches the table. Magnus is speechless for a moment as the sun catches in the man’s hazel eyes and on the tiny silver hoops in his ears. He shakes himself from the trance he’s in, ignoring the way his eyes shine a little greener when he tilts his head and nods his own head in confirmation.

“Alec Lightwood?”

“That’s me,” the man says with a smile that crinkles at the edges just a bit, he reaches out a hand that Magnus takes shaking it instantly enjoying the contrast of Alec’s cold fingers to his warm ones. Magnus squeezes his hand once before letting go. “I’m just gonna go get a drink and then we can talk,” Alec says stepping back with a tentative, but dazzling smile.

Magnus watches him go enjoying the view of his long legs in motion. He spots the tear in the back of his leather jacket, just like mentioned in his ad, and smiles. Alec comes back moments later a mug of black coffee in hang.

“So you need a bad date for Thanksgiving,” he says tearing open an obscene amount of sugar packets and pouring them into his mug. “I’m guessing before we get into that though, you want to know about the almost felony?”

Magnus shakes his head and Alec looks at him quizzically for a moment, before the puzzle pieces in his mind clearly fall into place.

“Dot,” he says in understanding. “She must have told you everything.”

“She did,” Magnus confirms taking a sip of his drink. “And for the record it sounds like you were in the right.”

Alec smiles a small uncertain smile almost like he’s not sure that’s the truth, but takes the words as a compliment anyways.

“It wasn’t my finest moment, I guess I’m just overprotective when it comes to people I love,” he says running his fingers along the rim of his mug.

“Getting a drug predator away from your sister isn’t just being overprotective, it’s doing the right thing,” he says genuine. He remembers when they were in high school and Raphael had his run with a bad crowd, it never came to it, but he would have done the same thing Alec did if the situation had presented itself.

Alec just shrugs looking off to the side. Magnus sees the uncomfortable set in his shoulders and shifts the conversation.

“You come highly recommended, Dot says you put on one hell of a show at her family reunion,” he says with a bright smile.

Alec’s shoulders ease and he turns back to Magnus with a smile.

“Dot barely needed me, she put on a performance just as stunning, I’ve never seen a woman so small body tackle so many people during what’s supposed to be a friendly game of tag,” he says with a chuckle.

Magnus has heard all about Dot’s deadly game and seen the bruises she proudly displayed from her somewhat violent performance first hand.

“Believe me it’s not the first time she’s tackled down a full-grown man,” Magnus says with a laugh fondly remembering a frat party, an unsuspecting frat boy and a fateful game of beer pong from many years ago.

“Somehow that does not surprise me,” Alec says rubbing a hand across his dark beard. The conversation shifts from there, Magnus giving Alec the full rundown about his father, his current stepmother and the all too haughty evening they’ll be subjected to.

Conversation flows easy between them, Alec seeming to understand a lot of Magnus’ struggles with his family life and Magnus finds himself wondering if there’s more to why he does this bit of charity for people in need.

“So, why exactly is it you do this?” Magnus asks, clarifying quickly when Alec raises his eyebrow in question. They’ve covered the felony yes and it’s clear that Alec just simply cares, but that’s not a full reason why. “I mean I believe that you’re just a genuinely good person who wants to help people, but it’s deeper than that isn’t it?”

Alec pauses for a moment rubbing the back of his neck nervously, Magnus is about to tell him he doesn’t have to explain if it’s an uncomfortable topic just as Alec starts to talk.

“I’m gay,” he says and Magnus smirks, the obviously on the tip of his tongue. Alec picks up on it smiling back. “Obviously, but for a long time I couldn’t be, or at least not at home. My parents are kind of rich, they’d do these big to do holiday parties every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. When my siblings and I were little they were just big boring adult parties that we’d steal food from. Then we all got old enough to date and to have plans for the future.”

Magnus hums in understanding. That’s how his father’s parties had been, one day he was a kid just stealing cookies and hating the droll grown ups and the next he was a man expected to present himself in certain ways, ways that weren’t remotely who he was.

“By the time I was 21 I was still in the closet, and already on their shit list for dropping out of college, and I never dated and my parents were just determined to find me a wife. Every year it was so and so’s daughter is lovely and has such a strong education or so and so’s daughter is coming and I can’t wait for you to meet her,” he says twisting the coffee mug between his hands. “I’m pretty sure those holiday parties are how my drinking got so bad, forced heterosexuality and an open bar do not mix well together.”

He chuckles and Magnus takes that as an invitation to do the same. Again he gets it, he’s taken his fair advantage of the open bar at his father’s parties many times.

“And then one year my dad was going on about some girl who was at Thanksgiving dinner, I don’t even remember her name, but she was standing there and the whole time he’s talking about how she’s so pretty and so ready to start a family and I should make a move before someone else did. And I was losing my mind internally and evidently I’d had just enough to drink that I just screamed at the top of my lungs that I was gay.”

He pauses taking the last sip of his coffee.

“And then I just left after my mom was trying to talk to me about causing a scene. Then Christmas rolls around and to my extreme shock I get the invite. I thought for sure I was in for the lecture I’d been avoiding for a month, but instead they just acted like Thanksgiving hadn’t even happened,” he shakes his head. “They invited some other poor girl to try and marry me off to and just went on like I hadn’t had a big, gay outburst. My outburst was a lot bigger that time, after that I didn’t get any more party invites, they just cut me out entirely.”

Magnus reaches out resting his hand on Alec’s that’s drumming on the table. “I’m so sorry, Alexander,” he says trying out the full name for the first time guessing that’s what Alec is short for. He likes the way it rolls off his tongue and judging from the way Alec doesn’t correct him he ventures he got it right.

Alec just shrugs with a sad little smile on his lips. “It’s okay,” he says. “I mean it wasn’t back then, but I’m okay now. I don’t need my parents or their money, my siblings are still in my life and I’ve got a whole life outside of that. I can have my gay outbursts in peace now.”

Magnus laughs squeezing his hand once before pulling back, he’s been resting it there much too long now.

They talk logistics after that, establishing a plan for the holiday dinner. Alec immediately offers to bring his Thunderbird to drive to Magnus’ father’s place upstate.

“I don’t have the car not to be embarrassing about it,” he says and Magnus smiles insisting he pays for the gas then.

He spends almost three hours and four coffees with Alec and eventually finds they’re not even talking about the dinner in question, but they’re just talking instead.

It’s an unexpected development.

***

Coffee with Alec goes all too well and by the end of it they have a carefully cultivated story about how they met and how long they’ve supposedly been together all set in stone. Alec ensures him he’ll be the ultimate, best bad boyfriend for the night, and frankly Magnus is having a hard time believing it.

Alec is sweet, kind without even realizing it and looks like the living embodiment of tall, dark and handsome. If Magnus is being honest he’d love to take him out sometime as a real date more than a bad boyfriend for the night.

He calls Dot after they’ve said their goodbyes, walking to his apartment not far from the coffee shop.

“So how’d it go?” Dot asks immediately upon answering the phone.

“He’s incredibly charming without trying to be and cute is a fucking understatement, Dorothea,” he says looking both ways before crossing to the other side of the street.

Dot chuckles wildly on the other side.

“I’m serious, if I was given the opportunity to craft a man based on looks alone I’m pretty sure he’d be what I’d create, he’s gorgeous,” Magnus says as he reaches his building going inside and heading for the elevator.

“I may have undersold him slightly,” Dot says sounding all too innocent.

“And was there a reason for that, my dear?” he says. He’s starting to feel like he’s being set up.

“Perhaps,” she says and he can hear the gleeful smile in her voice. “You can thank me later, for now just enjoy your bad boyfriend.”

***

Five days later on the last Thursday of the month, Magnus waits outside of his apartment for Alec and at three o’clock on the dot Alec’s truly ridiculous car pulls up. It’s even better in person than he described.

The black, red and white lines are exactly like Eddie Van Halen’s infamous guitar and the ’93 Thunderbird is just on the right side of beat up. The left taillight is busted, covered in see through tape and there’s a sizeable dent in the passenger side door.

Alec steps out of the car, a vision in his signature leather jacket, black jeans with far too many tears and dark eyeliner around his eyes. It’s not neat like Magnus’ though, it’s messy. His whole look from his disheveled, but neat hair, to his trimmed beard to his scuffed boots is just on the right side of acceptable, but screams of a wild side as well.

Magnus isn’t as black tie as he knows his father would like him to be, wearing a deep red shirt and tight pants with a line down the side, his perfectly styled hair, curly and soft with matching red streaks running through it. They make a pretty attractive pair if Magnus does say so himself.

Magnus can’t wait to see how the evening plays out.

Alec smiles at him coming over to open the passenger side door, it takes a couple tugs to get it open.

“It’s a little finicky,” he says playfully bowing and gesturing for Magnus to get inside. “Your chariot awaits.”

Magnus smiles stepping into the car. Alec shuts the door tight rounding the car and falling into his seat.

“Ready to cause a scene?” Alec says with a devilish smile that Magnus finds hard to resist.

“Absolutely,” he says with his own answering smile as Alec turns the key and peels out onto the road.

***

The ride up takes about two hours all told with holiday traffic and every minute of it is delightful. Alec tells him more about himself, outside of the surface stuff they’d covered to make sure Magnus was comfortable with this whole night.

He learns Alec loves archery, has an affinity for trash shows like the Bachelor and has a vicious little cat he adores named Church. Magnus gives his own tidbits in return about his work at the university and his love of bad horror movies, laughing when Alec suggests their fiendish cats might just get along.

Magnus laughs just as they pull up outside of his father’s home, “Chairman doesn’t exactly play well with others.”

Alec shrugs. “Neither does Church, that’s why it’d be fun,” he says with a smile pulling his eyes away from Magnus looking up at the sprawling house before them. He slows the car to a stop pulling into a spot that makes the car perfectly visible from the wall of windows that line the living room where all the guests won’t be able to miss it.

“Damn,” Alec says as he steps out of the car, Magnus joins him where he’s leaning back against the front of his Thunderbird. His car looks amazingly out of place and perfectly hilarious parked between a silver Porsche and a sleek black Lamborghini. “Your father’s in real estate you said?”

“Amongst other things,” Magnus grumbles looking at the house that was always too big, that always felt hollow and empty to Magnus when they moved here after his mother skipped town.

“It’s way too big,” Alec says with a grimace looking it over one last time before offering his arm to Magnus. Magnus takes it guiding him to the front door. “And there’s way too many fucking windows.”

Magnus chuckles as they reach the door opening it automatically and walking in. The space is gaudier than the last time he was there, the walls where once his father and stepmother number four’s portraits used to hang now feature the latest wife and sadly the one of him that his father had commissioned years ago. It’s the last time he’d agreed to sit for one of his gaudy paintings, he’s young, barely 20 wearing a stiff suit and barely any makeup, he doesn’t look like him at all.

“Well that’s a painting,” Alec says looking at it. “I like this you better,” he says eyeing Magnus up and down. Whether he meant to or not there’s a lingering in the look, Magnus likes it. “That looks like somebody trying to be something they’re not.”

And just like that with one look at a painting, Alec nails him right on the head. Like he can read Magnus easily, a thing that just about no one can do.

“Come on,” Magnus says pulling Alec along down the garish hallway that leads to the large expanse of the living room. There’s a new chandelier hanging in the hall, riddled in way too many gems. He bets it’s a feature added by the new wife.

“Maggie!” a woman’s voice yells, speak of the devil, he rolls his eyes at the nickname no matter how many times he’s told her to drop it she just won’t. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

His stepmother comes bouncing over their way, her ridiculously high heels clacking against the hardwood floor. He can hear his father sigh from the other side of the room, more concerned with his precious oak floors than anything else in the world.

Magnus braces himself as she barrels into him hugging him tight, she releases him with a smile before turning to Alec and doing the same.

Alec’s eyes go wide in surprise, no matter how much Magnus described her to him there’s no preparing for hurricane Marissa. She pulls back adjusting her very not appropriate for the setting tight pink and black strapless dress with a smile, her fake tan looks a little lighter than usual and he’s weirdly proud of her for that.

“And who is this?” she asks reaching out to adjust Magnus’ shirt collar that she crumpled when hugging him.

“This is my boyfriend, Alec,” he says gesturing his way. “Alec this is my father’s wife, Marissa.”

Marissa playfully pats Magnus’ cheek, “Stepmother.” She says it pointedly holding out a hand to quickly shake Alec’s. He will never refer to her as his stepmother out loud, much like the past four wives Magnus bets Marissa will be gone in five years’ time tops, his own mother hadn’t even stuck around that long. Also, she’s 25, five years younger than him, and there’s no way he’s referring to her as anything remotely close to a mother.

“It’s lovely to have you in our home,” Marissa says to Alec gesturing to the room at large. Magnus looks around at the room full of people, most of whom he doesn’t remotely recognize. A few seem somewhat familiar in the most unmemorable sense. He’s sure they’re constant clients and rich cohorts of his father’s that have attended before.

“That it is,” his father’s voice says coming up behind his wife. He rests one hand on her shoulder and holds out another Alec’s way. “Asmodeus Bane.”

“Alec Lightwood,” he says a perfect gentleman returning his father’s handshake. They’d agreed to keep it civil for at the least the first introduction and then let the evening escalate from there. Magnus can tell just from looking at it his father’s grip is tight, commanding and borderline threatening, but Alec doesn’t even flinch.

“Lightwood, hm?” his father says eyeing Alec up and down frowning and Magnus can tell he already disapproves of what he sees. “Any relation to the Lightwood Consulting company?”

“Yes,” Alec says and Magnus smiles when he sees his father’s lips uptick in an impressed smile that immediately falls at Alec’s next words. “But they cut me out and off years ago, I’m the black sheep of the family if you will.”

Asmodeus just hums disappointed. “Well, that’s a shame,” he says. “So, how did you meet my son?” he asks not bothering with anymore small talk now that he’s already decided Alec’s no good, just jumping right in to the things he can criticize.

“Prison,” Alec jokes and Marissa titters delightfully. She quickly stops when Asmodeus looks at her disappointedly. “Just kidding,” he says. “I did my time there years ago, no we met at a bar.”

Asmodeus bristles at the prison mention, which is technically a lie, Alec only spent a few hours in a cell back when he was arrested, but his father clearly buys it as more. Magnus can tell he’s tuning out the rest of their crafted meet cute story, all about how three months ago Alec had a few too many drinks and almost got into a fight and Magnus had been his stalwart knight in shining armor.

“Love at first sight,” Marissa sighs clearly enjoying their made up tale. “Isn’t it sweet, Asmody?” she coos tugging on his father’s arm.

“Yes, quite sweet,” Asmodeus grimaces gripping his wife’s arm and pulling her away. “We’ll talk later.” He says looking directly at Magnus, essentially and completely dismissing Alec’s presence all together before stepping away. Marissa grins wide waving at them as she goes her long pink acrylic nails clicking together as she does so. Marissa may not be the brightest or subtlest bulb, but at least unlike many of Asmodeus’ past wives she’s nice enough.

“Well damn, do I even need to do anything else? He seems disappointed enough already,” Alec says shaking his head in disbelief.

“Now, where would the fun in that be,” Magnus says with a smirk, shrugging off his jacket. Alec follows suit and Magnus admires the view of his arms in a short sleeved well-fitting white button up shirt. His love of archery has made for some nicely toned muscle.

***

They mingle for a bit after Magnus deposits their coats in one of the coat closets, Magnus putting on his best son of the year smile while Alec downs glasses of water that everyone thinks is vodka at a fairly speedy rate.

It’d been his first task when they’d rejoined the party walking over to the bar with a smile.

“I need you to fill a bottle or two of vodka with water and keep serving me all night,” he said to the bored and disgruntled looking woman behind the counter. The rest of the hired help for the night must have been sequestered away in the kitchen until dinner judging by her being the first one that Magnus had spotted.

“You planning something weird tonight?” she questioned sliding Magnus a glass of red wine.

“Not weird, just disruptive,” Alec said so kind and so believable that the girl perked up.

“Well I love to see rich people who call me barkeep unironically disrupted, so you got it,” she said with a smile discreetly pouring out a bottle and refilling it with water before handing a glass to Alec as he dumped a sizeable wad of cash into her completely empty tip jar. God, rich people were cheap.

She’s been steadily serving him since.

Now they find themselves with a man who has to be bordering on 200 years old and it seems Alec decides it’s time to truly get to work.

“All that glitters,” the old man says talking about something that they’ve clearly both been tuning out.

“Glitters?” Alec says a little too loud, just enough so that everyone in their vicinity can hear. “You mean the place on 5th? My ex used to dance there, maybe you saw him, man knew how to work a pole if you know what I mean?” he winks at the old man and Magnus just barely stifles his laughter as the old man steps back in shock. He mumbles something unintelligible looking suddenly ill and paler than he had before and slips away.

Alec tosses back his drink and hands it to a passing woman in a truly hideous pantsuit that is definitely not a server, dragging Magnus along to the table of appetizers. He tosses shrimp into his mouth not bothering with a napkin, rubbing his hands on his ripped-up jeans making direct eye contact with a young woman, no doubt another trophy wife, as he does so. She scrunches up her nose and steps away.

Evidently despite his fairly small work so far he’s made just enough of a scene to garner Asmodeus’ attention once again.

“So, Alec, I assume that colorful vehicle outside is yours?” he says walking up beside the two of them. Their bartender and conspirator comes up just then handing Alec a fresh glass.

Alec smiles at her, before turning to Asmodeus. He’s not acting drunk yet, but he’s bordering on behaving tipsy.

He slings an arm over Magnus’ shoulder and brings him in close. Magnus settles a hand at Alec’s waste enjoying the proximity.

“Yes, that is my sweet Cherry,” he says naming the car on the spot. “Won her in a poker game when I was 18, crashed her three days later and have been patching her back together ever since.”

“A poker game?” Asmodeus questions, clearly becoming more disappointed by the minute.

“Yup,” he says cheerfully popping the p in the word. “Well, I wouldn’t say won directly, more cheated a guy and then fought him for it,” he pauses gesturing to the little sliced scar that runs through his left eyebrow. “That’s how I got this.”

“You wouldn’t believe how many tire irons a high school principal is carrying around,” Alec continues with a snort tossing back half of his drink.

Magnus just nods along in agreement to Alec’s concocted tale. He actually bought the car from his sister’s ex-boyfriend when he was nineteen for 200 bucks, but this story shocks far more.

“You mean to say you fought your principal for your car?” Asmodeus says judgement so very clear in his voice.

“High school, am I right?” Alec shrugs with a chuckle smiling down into his drink. Asmodeus looks appalled.

“Oh, come on don’t look like that father,” Magnus says placing his free hand on Alec’s chest and patting there lightly. Magnus can’t help but notice how solid the chest under his hand is. “I got up to some trouble in high school myself, surely you remember.”

Asmodeus just hums, clearly finding Magnus’ occasional wild parties without permission a dull comparison to the tale Alec just told.

“Never forget the time I streaked and jumped from the guest house roof to the trampoline and right into the pool, nearly broke my arm in the process,” Magnus says with a smile. Alec leans over burying his face in Magnus’ hair, careful not to mess it up, whether it’s to play up the PDA or stifle a laugh Magnus isn’t sure.

They’d had a whole conversation about PDA, Alec promising to respect his boundaries, no kissing and never a hand wandering beneath his waist.

“How could I forget,” Asmodeus says sharply embarrassed by his son’s antics. He turns towards the large windows and looks out to where the porch patio lights illuminate Alec’s car.

“It is so sexy that you did that,” Alec says ignoring Asmodeus and turning towards Magnus. He downs the rest of his drink and meet’s Magnus’ eyes, a question and idea brewing clear in them. Magnus smirks tugging at Alec’s shirt.

“You think so?” he says teasingly.

“Mm hmm,” Alec says biting his lip and Magnus knows this is all a part of the show, but god are those lips tempting.

Magnus catches Asmodeus turning his attention back to them looking outright furious. Magnus pulls away from Alec’s eyes and smiles a bright smile like they’re doing absolutely nothing wrong.

“I’m gonna give Alec the tour,” he says leadingly pulling Alec along by both hands and rushing away from the living room and down the hall before Asmodeus can say a word. He can see Alec’s smirk as he notices the stares of the other guests in the room.

Magnus doesn’t even pay attention to where they’re going as he pulls them into a room just off the right side of the hall.

“How’d you actually get that scar?” Magnus asks once they’re inside shutting the door behind him, no doubt convincing everyone they’re about to get down and dirty.

“Took a hockey stick to the face when I was 17,” he says pulling himself to sit up on a desk. A desk that Magnus now recognizes as his fathers. They’ve pulled themselves into his father’s office and if they get caught in here he’ll never hear the end of it, he loves it.

“You played hockey?” Magnus asks lifting himself up to sit beside Alec on the desk ignoring the papers he accidentally topples to the ground.

Alec nods in the affirmative. “I did, that’s why it’s the only sport I can start heckling fights about, everything else is boring.”

Magnus snorts at that, he’s never been partial to any sport himself.

“Did you really do what you said out there?” Alec asks picking up a notepad and flipping through it mindlessly.

“I did,” Magnus smiles and Alec’s eyebrows both go up. “Don’t look so surprised, you’re not the only one capable of mischief.”

“Oh, I see that,” he says with a smile tossing the notepad back to where he found it. “That is kinda sexy you achieved a jump like that and didn’t get hurt.” He says it with his voice low and all sorts of New York around the edges. He freezes his hand stopping over the spot where he’d been about to pick up the ugly green and bronze sphere shaped paper weight beside him.

Magnus freezes too, Alec saying something like that while they’re alone makes it real, not like the fake flirty way he’d said it out in the living room.

“Sorry, that’s not, I’m sorry, I never cross that line when I do these things, we’re alone and,” Alec runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Magnus shakes his head reaching out and tentatively laying his hand atop Alec’s where it rests on the desk between them.

“It’s okay,” he says and Alec looks at him ready to argue the point. Magnus jumps in stopping him before he can say a word and taking his own leap into making this far more real than fake. “Really, it’s okay. You, uh, you’re not so bad yourself.”

Alec huffs a laugh opening and closing his mouth a few times like he’s looking for the right words to say. The space between them feels a little charged now that they’ve floated out the simple fact there’s a real attraction here. Alec closes his mouth and bites his lip looking determined like he knows what to say finally when the door busts open.

“Oh, my apologies boys,” Marissa says standing in the doorway her hands on her hips and a pleased little smile on her lips. “But dinner is served.”

Magnus and Alec pull away from one another quickly hopping off the desk and stepping towards the door.

“You two are just too cute,” Marissa says when they reach her. She loops each of her arms through one of theirs and tugs them down the hall happily. “Don’t listen to a word your father says.”

Magnus meets Alec’s eyes over her head only to find Alec already looking at him, a soft smile on his lips.

***

Magnus takes his proverbial spot on his father’s right at the head of the table, Marissa doing the same on his left. Despite Asmodeus’ clear attempt to keep Alec as far away from him and Magnus as possible by seating him at the far end of the long table he fails. Luckily one of Marissa’s friends, just as airy and tight dressed as her is seated next to Magnus and happily swaps spots with Alec.

Alec lifts his drink to Asmodeus in a faux toast that Asmodeus doesn’t even feign interest in as he takes his seat.

Dinner is served and it’s to be expected. The sweet potatoes are divine none of that weird marshmallow bullshit in them, the mac and cheese is literally to die for and the homemade bread hits in just the right way. The turkey is terrible, but that’s not at the fault of the overpriced chef that’s just simply because it’s an indisputable fact that turkey tastes like napkins.

Alec eats so much Magnus is concerned, he can tell from the tight fit of his shirt that Alec is in impeccable shape so he doesn’t really know where he puts it all as he goes for his fourth serving of mac and cheese.

But long before his fourth serving of cheesy goodness Alec starts up at least three debates that would be deemed far too impolite for their supposed polite company. Each fresh serving he corners someone new into a debate; first it’s an old lady in a pantsuit pulled into a debate about the existence of god, then a forty something who looks like he’s never seen a rainbow without feeling threatened into a talk on the merits of teaching queer history to children and finally a woman who can’t be much older than them who looks like her name is Tinsley or Ainsleigh or something equally as nauseating into a tense bordering on yelling match about the importance of safe abortion access.

He sounds a little more drunk with every conversation and he’s damn good at faking it. He sounds just the right amount of inebriated not slurring his words too much or fumbling around with his silverware, it’s practiced, a master class in being drunk without being drunk. Most people overplay it acting far more outlandish than a drunk person sitting at a table would, but Alec has it down pact.

Magnus watches him not a care in the world, acting like he doesn’t even notice the disruption Alec is causing. The only person aside from Magnus that doesn’t look increasingly more uncomfortable by the minute is Marissa who looks like she’s having the time of her life watching these stuffy rich people squirm.

Asmodeus of course does not look delighted, he barely eats, just scowls over the rim of his wine glass and attempts to deflect any conversation Alec purposely instigates another way unsuccessfully.

The only time he seems to look like he’s not about to have a coronary is when everyone’s plates are finally collected, Alec still shoveling the last bit of mashed potatoes on his plate into his mouth as one of the waiters lifts the plate away from him, and it’s announced that dinner and coffee will be served in the living room.

Alec stands stretching his arms up over his head and Magnus admires the ripple of his muscles as he does so before standing beside him. Alec reaches over the table picking up yet another glass of water and tossing it back with a loud unnecessary thirst quenched sound before holding out his hand to Magnus. Magnus takes it instantly with a smile following along as they head for the living room once again.  

***

A waiter takes their dessert requests, a choice of six different types of pie as they file out of the large dining room.

Magnus selects the pumpkin pie, while Alec chooses the chocolate pecan.

“Pecan, gross,” Magnus says as they work their way over to one side of the room a little bit away from everyone else to have just a moment of reprieve.

“How dare you, pecan pie is delicious,” Alec says sounding outright offended.

Magnus rolls his eyes and crosses his arms making a face that screams Alec is insane to have that opinion.

“It’s all sugar, no substance,” Magnus says. He really shouldn’t be surprised Alec’s favorite pie is one as ridiculously sugar based as pecan considering the amount of sugar he witnessed him dump into his coffee a few days prior. Alec doesn’t even deign him with a response, he just gives him another affronted look like Magnus has insulted his entire being, not a pie.

Moments later a waiter hands them each their requested pies. Alec takes a bite of his pointedly making eye contact with Magnus as he does so and making a pleased obnoxious yum sound. Magnus just rolls his eyes again, amused as he takes a bite of his own pie.

“So, are you enjoying yourself so far this evening?” Magnus asks after a few minutes of companionable silence.

Alec pauses grabbing a coffee from a passing tray and taking a sip, he grimaces a bit at the black coffee before answering Magnus’ question. Out of the corner of his eye Magnus sees his father watching them, almost looking excited to see Alec drinking a coffee, probably hoping it will sober him up.

“Well, your father is kind of terrible, and all these people are exhausting,” he says gesturing with his fork to the room at large after he sits his coffee on the floor next to him. “But despite the fact she may be a little air headed Marissa is lovely and I get a kick out of making rich people as uncomfortable as possible, so it’s been a pretty good night thus far.”

He pauses taking a bite of his pie and looking at Magnus from underneath his thick dark lashes. “Plus, you know, you’re pretty good company as well,” he says tapping his fork to his lips.

Magnus slow blinks at him and smiles.

“You’re pretty good company as well, especially when you’re just being you, like right now, not the overstated bad boy, even if he is a good time,” Magnus says. He reaches out his empty fork and boops Alec on the nose with it, just because. Alec scrunches up his face adorably at the action.

“Well I like you being you too, though it’s kind of fun you’re playing into my whole act, most people just play the none the wiser partner,” Alec says before leaning down and drinking another glug of his coffee. He makes the same cute displeased face again as he swallows.

“Really? No one’s made it seem like you’ve turned them into a crazy bad boy too?” Magnus says surprised. He’s been having a pretty good time being a little more instigative around his father than he usually would be.

Alec shakes his head. “Not really, Dot tackling her family members was a bit of an outlier, and honestly they’re almost never guys.”

“So I’m your first fake boyfriend then, huh?” Magnus says oddly flattered about the possibility.

“Second actually, but still most of the time I get hired by women, there’s a comfort in knowing that your fake date won’t try to make a move,” Alec says taking the last bite of his sickeningly sweet pecan pie.

“I guess I didn’t have a problem with that prospect,” Magnus says smiling around his fork looking right into Alec’s pretty hazel eyes, all dark rimmed and intent on him.

“I guess you didn’t,” he says with a smile putting his empty plate and mug on a passing tray and leaning back comfortably.

Magnus joins him leaning over by one of the sprawling windows casually finishing off his pie looking up to see one of his father’s political friends, a 30 something councilman of some sort, staring at them nearby. Alec, the little devil, winks at him slow and seductive. The councilman bristles and his wife beside him gives Alec an evil stare.

Magnus laughs a little, thinking that’s it for that interaction when suddenly the click of heels approaches them.

“Did you just wink at my husband?” the woman all but screams at Alec causing him to jump up from his slouch against the windows. Her head shakes as she speaks, her clip-on earrings wobbling.

“I,” Alec starts, but she doesn’t let him get in a word before she’s tossing her glass of white wine right at him.

“Oh, shit,” he says surprised and laughing a bit as he scrubs at his face his already messy eyeliner getting even messier in the process.

“Listen, lady I had no intention, your husband was the one staring,” he shouts back sounding a little more drunk than he did at the dinner table, they weren’t planning on Alec picking a fight tonight, but it seems he’s rolling with the one presented to him.

“Why you little, you little-“ she basically shrieks her husband pulling at her arm trying to stop her from taking this any further. Magnus steps in in front of Alec, a stern look of shutting shit down that he learned from his father on his face.

“You will want to watch your next words very carefully, wouldn’t want your husband’s constituents hearing any bigoted language coming from his already,” Magnus pauses surveying her bejeweled dress that looks like she’s going to a bad 80’s themed prom. “Tacky wife.”

She looks angrier at that, but Magnus’ stern look seems to usher her away, allowing her husband to pull her from the room.

The room is dead silent all eyes on them.

“Alright,” Asmodeus’ voice booms, everyone turning his way. “Show’s over, nightcaps will be served by the barkeep in the library shortly why don’t you all head in there,” he says gesturing to the way of the library. He steps over to Magnus and Alec as does Marissa who instantly hands Alec a towel.

“She’s always been a stick in the mud with bad taste,” Marissa says showing her own dislike for the councilman’s wife. “You didn’t do a thing wrong.” She smiles at them both apologetically before linking her arm in Alec’s and pulling him the way of everyone else. Magnus moves to follow, but is stopped by a hand on his chest from Asmodeus.

“We need to talk,” he says leaving no room for argument. Alec looks back at him from where Marissa is still chattering happily to him, a clear question of if he needs to cause a scene to stay with Magnus in his eyes. Magnus waves him on, watching as they go.

He barely waits until Alec and Marissa are out of ear shot to start in on Magnus.

“I know he’s faking it,” Asmodeus says and that is not what Magnus was expecting. He plays dumb though raising his eyebrows in question.

“Don’t act like you don’t what I’m talking about, I’d venture to say from the looks you two share you know all about it as well. You just brought him here and put on this whole show to embarrass me,” Asmodeus continues with a disappointed sigh. “That man hasn’t had a drop of liquor tonight, every action he’s taken hasn’t been some alcohol fueled mistake it’s been purposeful. He’s probably the most sober person here tonight. As far as I’d guess aside from truly being the black sheep of his family name and that truly atrocious car nothing that’s happened here tonight has been real.”

And alright, yeah Magnus definitely wasn’t expecting this. He expected his father to rail on his choice of partner, to knock Alec’s character and behavior and maybe Magnus’ to boot as well. He didn’t expect him to know exactly what’s been going on all night.

“And before you ask how I figured it out, you really should have made sure your date kept better track of his finished glasses, after dinner he left one behind and it didn’t smell of the vodka we’ve all been convinced he’s been downing all night,” Asmodeus explains. “From there a quick search told me the name was at least true. His family really did cut him out judging from his complete disappearance from all events, not that I can blame them, anyone who behaves this atrociously without influence of alcohol just to play a game probably deserves to be cut off.”

Magnus huffs out an unamused laugh at the underlying implications of his statement.

“Is that a threat?” Magnus says steely eyed.

“It could be, if you don’t get him out of here right this instant and promise to never try anything even close to similar to this charade again,” Asmodeus says just as steely eyed and Magnus hates that he learned the look from him.

For a moment he considers just leaving, hightailing it out of there with Alec and not saying a single other word to his father, but he’s tired. He’s 30 and he’s been putting up with his father’s vague threats if he doesn’t play the good little son role since before he could talk practically and he’s just done.

“No, we won’t be leaving,” Magnus says holding his ground. “And as for this charade well I guess I can promise you nothing like this will ever happen again, because I’m done. I’m done playing some perfectly crafted son that I’m not, I’m done acting like we’re a happy little family, like you won’t get bored of poor, sweet Marissa in no time and there’ll be a new wife on your arm who you’ll pay just as little attention to.”

“You’re right, I did do this to embarrass you, to show those fucking fakes in there that you are the fakest amongst them, even more so than all of them combined. Alec may have been playing a role tonight, but he’s ten times more real than you could ever dream to be. Don’t worry about having to cut me off and making a whole big show of it, I haven’t needed you or your money in years,” Magnus says. He straightens out his shirt and stands with his head held high turning on his heel to join Alec in the library.

***

Magnus is frankly riding high on truly stepping up to his father for the first and likely last time in his life when he saunters into the library scanning around to find Alec. He spots him in the corner chatting with Marissa.

“There you are,” Alec says sounding genuinely concerned. Magnus just smiles at him hoping it looks more assuring than it feels.

Marissa reaches out patting him on the cheek lightly. “Don’t listen to whatever he said, he’s just jealous he’s not as outstanding as you,” she says with a smile.

Magnus is struck in that moment with how much his father doesn’t deserve her, she might be a lot to take sometimes, but she is a genuinely kind woman.

“Nor as outstanding as you,” Magnus says with a smile and she blushes at the compliment. He’s ready to follow that up by telling her that she should leave his father’s ass immediately before he gets the chance to toss her to the side, but someone calls out her name and she’s pulled away smiling at them as she goes.

“Ready for the grand finale?” Alec says as soon as Marissa steps away. The grand finale, right, Magnus and Alec had discussed giving one last show before they left for the night if they managed to make it all the way through dessert. And they have, everyone’s nursing nightcaps ready to exit for the evening, but clearly all lingering around to see if Alec does anything else embarrassing or outlandish before they go.

Mere moments ago Magnus was ready to just storm out of here with Alec at his side and maybe ask Alec if he fancied going on a real date for a late-night drink somewhere.

But now with his father storming into the room after him, glaring and judging, looking quite possibly the most upset he’s ever been with Magnus he can’t seem to find a reason to go just yet.

“Let’s do it,” he says and Alec smiles tossing back his water and acting as if there’s a nice vodka burn to it. He grabs a discarded fork from a table nearby and taps it on his now empty glass so hard that it chips just a bit earning everyone’s attention.

“Could I have everyone’s attention please,” he says sounding a little bit like he’s sobered up after the near fight with the councilman’s wife. Most of the room looks their way eagerly like they can’t wait to see what happens next, while a few others apprehensively turn their attention.

“I met this stunning man not all that long ago,” he says laying his hands lightly on Magnus’ shoulders. “But in that short time, I have realized that undisputedly there will never be another for me. From the moment we hooked up in the back of Cherry the night we met,” he says not elaborating at all on that sentence, earning the shocked gasps and confused looks of many. Marissa giggles, Asmodeus seethes not loving this new addition to their fake meet cute story even if he knows it’s all a ruse now. “I knew you were the one, so, Magnus Bane,” he continues on getting down on one knee he pulls the plain silver ring he’s been wearing all night on his middle finger off and presents it to Magnus. “Will you marry me?”

Magnus pretends to be shocked covering his mouth with a gasp. His eyes flit up to where his father stands, looking like he’s about to make some move to physically stop Magnus from answering Alec’s question, like he won’t survive the embarrassment of this room full of people knowing his sons engaged to a degenerate in messed up jeans even if he knows it’s not real. Magnus doesn’t give him the chance immediately looking down at Alec with glassy eyes.

“Yes, Alexander, yes,” he says no longer hiding his amused grin as Alec slips the ring on his finger and lifts up from the ground pulling Magnus into a crushing hug. The room claps tentatively, enthusiastically in Marissa’s case who it seems does not care how insane something is she just loves love. How she ever ended up married to his father, who only truly loves himself, his hardwood floors and his hair is a continual mystery.

“Wanna get the fuck out of here?” Magnus mumbles into Alec’s ear. Alec pulls back from their hug and nods enthusiastically.

“Do I have your permission to bridal carry you out of here?” Alec says lowly ensuring no one can hear him.

“Oh, hell yes,” Magnus says delightedly as Alec lifts him up and makes for the door.

“We’re gonna go celebrate in the back of Cherry again,” Alec announces proudly to the room as he goes. Magnus pats him on the shoulder guiding him to the coat closet where he quickly grabs their jackets, Alec never losing his grip on him.

Asmodeus shouts after them as they head out the door, Alec pausing at his car and planting Magnus down on the ground gently. He tugs at the door three times before it opens gesturing for Magnus to get in as he ignores his father’s bellowing shouts. Alec playfully salutes Asmodeus and slides over the hood of his car bumping into the Porsche beside him setting off it’s car alarm as he lands and slips into the driver’s seat quickly.

He starts the engine peeling out of the space just as Asmodeus reaches the front of the car. Magnus just blatantly ignores him only catching sight of Marissa standing in the door waving their way as they drive off.

***

The ride back is quiet for the first twenty minutes or so, music playing softly as Alec drives drumming his fingers along the steering wheel to the beat.

“My dad figured out you were faking it,” Magnus says with no preamble looking out the window as they go. The roads are mostly empty now people celebrating the holiday into the late hours with their families before waking up at 5 a.m. to Black Friday shop.

“Shit, there goes my Oscar,” Alec says eyes flashing to Magnus quickly with a laugh before focusing back on the road. Magnus chuckles in response.

“Well, it’s an honor just to be nominated,” Magnus smiles tilting his head towards Alec.

Alec snorts a little laugh then turns his head quickly to Magnus once again.

“Did your dad give you a lot of trouble about it?”

“He did, I don’t think I’ll be getting a Christmas invite after I railed back at him,” Magnus says. “But it’s okay. I think it was just a long time coming, bound to happen. Better to get it over with now before I wasted more years trying to seem like I’m something I’m not just to please him.”

Alec comes to a stop at a red light and turns his attention fully to Magnus.

“Are you okay? I mean shitty or not, having a parent cut ties isn’t easy, trust me I know,” he says. Magnus watches him enjoying the way the red of the stoplight cuts through his dark hair.

Magnus takes a deep breath and gives Alec a small assuring smile.

“I will be,” he says, truly meaning it. The fallout with his father is a lot, but he will be okay. He’s lived without his father being truly present in any form since the day his mother walked out on them, this new world where he’s likely all cut off isn’t anything new really. He’ll manage, hell he might even thrive without the chains of his father’s expectations weighing on him now.

The light turns green and they lapse back into comfortable silence for the rest of the ride, Magnus completely endeared as he listens to Alec mumbling the lyrics to every other song that comes on the radio under his breath.

When they pull up to the curb outside of Magnus’ house Alec steps out first ever the gentleman helping Magnus with the finicky passenger side door.

He holds out a hand helping Magnus out and smiles when he drops it shutting the door tight.

“Well, thank you for the free meal and the fun night of mischief,” Alec says leaning back against his Thunderbird. His eyeliner is a mess and there’s a faint dried spot along his white shirt stained from the wine incident, he looks beautiful under this streetlight and Magnus wants more night like this. Well maybe not exactly like this one, it’s been a bit of rollercoaster for him emotionally, but nights with Alec all the same.

“Go out with me,” he says not even framing it as a question. He knows Alec is interested too has seen it in the moments where he was just being himself and the appreciative glances he’s given Magnus all night that clearly weren’t just a part of the show he was putting on. And that doesn’t even cover their coffee the other day, the easy way they’d talked and just clicked right off the bat.

“For real, not a fake date or a bad boyfriend show, a real date,” Magnus clarifies when he notices Alec’s surprise.

“I’d like that a lot,” Alec says pushing off the car. He steps a little closer to Magnus leaving just a bit of distance for Magnus to clear if he wants. Magnus does want so he steps up not quite touching Alec, but close enough all he’d have to do is raise a hand. It feels almost like when they were in his father’s office tonight, but even better because they’re alone for real now, there’s no show and no chance of interruptions.

“I need the record to show that I literally never do this, not once, I haven’t even been interested, let alone made any sort of action to make something real out of one of these fake dates,” Alec says low and sincere keeping his eyes on Magnus’ the entire time making sure the words are clear. “You are entirely the exception.”

“Entirely exceptional, actually,” he adds on with a smile. Magnus smiles reaching out his hands to rest on Alec’s chest.

“So are you,” he says patting his hands twice where they rest. “And I believe you aren’t just doing this to pick up hot guys, no worries.” He says with a chuckle and Alec rolls his eyes.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Alec asks.

“Nothing, no classes until next Tuesday and most of my friends are out of town for family dinners and what not. I’m as free as a bird,” he says blinking his eyes just a bit flirtatiously at Alec.

“Good, we should get dinner, no family, no bullshit, just us,” Alec says tentatively resting his hands on Magnus’ waist.

“I like the sound of that,” Magnus says lifting up to kiss Alec on the cheek softly just once before pulling back.

“I’ll text you with a time and place in the morning,” he says slowly stepping backwards holding Alec’s steady gaze as he goes. He turns just for a moment putting his key’s in the door and pushing it open before turning back. “Goodnight, Alexander.” He says and watches as Alec smiles a dazzling smile before rounding the car and opening the driver’s side door.

“Goodnight, Magnus,” he says before slipping into his car. Magnus watches with a smile as he pulls away from the curb, his bright red ridiculous Thunderbird speeding away. The smile doesn’t leave his face as he makes his way all the way up to his apartment, so much so that he’s pretty sure his cat is judging him all the way to bed.

***

One Year Later

Magnus’ phone buzzes insistently his ringtone blaring on the nightstand.

“Stop that,” he says weakly reaching out an arm to silence it, his hand falling to the nightstand and coming up empty once, twice, three times while it continues to ring. It’s far too loud and far too early on a holiday with no responsibilities for this.

A chuckle comes from above him and warmth reaches over brushing his fingers before gripping the phone and pulling back.

“Magnus Bane’s phone,” Alec answers his voice a little lower and rougher than usual from sleep. It’s a very nice sound. Magnus can’t hear who’s on the other end of the line, but when he flips over he sees Alec smile and perk up a bit leaning back against the headboard.

“Yeah it is Alec, it’s good to know you remember me, Marissa,” he says and Magnus raises an eyebrow he’s only heard from his father’s wife once since last Thanksgiving, an apologetic text on his father’s behalf. His father on the other hand hasn’t so much as sent a sternly worded email in that time.

“Yeah, he’s here, hold on sec,” Alec says, he lowers the phone offering it to Magnus who grumbles a bit lifting himself up and leaning against the headboard next to Alec.

“Hi, Marissa,” he says clearing his throat a bit.

“Magnus!” she shouts into his ear and he jumps back a bit, from the both the volume and from shock hearing that she’s finally dropped her terrible nickname for him. “I was glad to hear Alec answer the phone, I knew you two were a good match, even if it was all a show that night.”

“Ah,” Magnus says. “So father told you.”

“He did, but it doesn’t change that you two are the cutest,” she says. “Which speaking of your father,” she starts and Magnus is ready to shoot down any attempt at reuniting she’s trying to pull here. Marissa is a nice woman, but his father’s silence in the past year has spoken volumes, he’s not playing into a reconciliation he can’t even make the call for.

“I left him,” she says finishing her sentence. Magnus huffs out a little surprised laugh that Alec raises an eyebrow at, well good for her. “About a month ago and I know it’s incredibly short notice and you might have other plans, but I’m having a little Thanksgiving dinner of my own with a few friends this year and I’d love to see you. And Alec too, of course!”

Magnus smiles, they’d had a Friendsgiving slash one year anniversary celebration over the weekend with Raphael, Cat, Dot, Ragnor and Alec’s siblings, tonight’s plans were likely going to consist of Chinese takeout on the couch and making out. And while Marissa can be a lot she was always kind, and he can’t help but recall how supportive she’d been that night a year ago. He can’t find it in himself to turn down her offer because of it.

“We’d love to,” he says and Alec looks at him again in question. Magnus just waves a hand signaling he wait a moment for explanation. On the other end of the line Marissa claps excitedly.

“Yay!” she says. “I’ll text you my address, I’m in the city now so Alec might have to leave Cherry at home.”

Magnus laughs. “Oh, he might bring her anyways.”

He chats idly with Marissa for a few more minutes before disconnecting and promising they’ll be on much better behavior this year for dinner.

“Marissa left my father,” Magnus says as soon as he’s hung up and tossed his phone back on the nightstand. Alec smiles looking just as oddly proud for her as Magnus feels. “And we’re having Thanksgiving with her and some friends tonight.”

“Good for her,” he says flipping back the covers and getting out of bed. “Should I get out the eyeliner and torn up jeans for tonight just for old times’ sake, or no?”

He smirks standing gloriously naked in front of the dresser rustling through one of his drawers. His drawers. Magnus isn’t quite used to the lovely novelty of the fact that Alec lives with him now. It’s been about two months since they made it official and just seeing one of Alec’s crappy romance novels on the coffee table or his shitty leather jacket hanging in its permanent space in their closest still makes him feel all sorts of tingly.

Magnus hums in thought rising up from bed and moving to lean against the dresser beside Alec. He’d pay good money to get Alec to wear eyeliner more often frankly.

“I think you should bring both of those things out as often as you’d like,” he says reaching out a hand and cupping Alec’s cheek turning it towards him. The feel of Alec’s soft, shaven skin is something he also isn’t quite used to. For the first time in their year together he’d shaved off his beard entirely, completely out of the blue and for no other reason than he’d had a day off and was bored. He’s as handsome as ever, but Magnus had quite literally had to do a double take when he came home and saw Alec sitting on the couch.

“Do try and leave the illustrious tales of our sexual escapades at home this time though, darling,” he says with a smile. He’s mostly joking, but now that their sexual escapades are real and not fictionalized he’d like to keep them just between them.  

“Damn, well there goes all my dinner conversation topics,” Alec says with a wicked little smile.

“Menace,” Magnus says as he slides his hand down from Alec’s face to his chest with a shake of his head.

Magnus runs his fingers lightly through the hair on Alec’s chest stopping to rest on the stark black tattoo on his lower abdomen. And boy hadn’t it been a blissful discovery to see that ink when he finally got Alec’s shirt off for the first time. He trails his fingers over the shape of it lightly, knowing exactly what he’s doing.

“If you keep doing that we’ll never leave this room,” Alec says his lips tilting up in a little pleased smirk.

“Doing what?” Magnus says innocently still moving his fingers over the shape of the tattoo lightly.

“And you say I’m the menace,” Alec says leaning in to kiss him on the lips once hard and bruising. “We need to shower.” He says stepping away from Magnus. Magnus’s hand falls and he pouts laying it on a bit thick. Alec pointedly attempts to ignore it.

“Together?” Magnus says with a hopeful smile.

Alec rolls his eyes. “I feel like despite having literal hours to get ready we’ll end up late somehow if we do,” he says eyeing Magnus’ bare form appreciatively. “But there’s no way I can say no to that.”

Magnus smirks pushing himself off the dresser and right up against Alec.

“Damn straight,” he says before leaning in to lay a teasing, promising kiss on his lips.

“There is absolutely nothing straight about this,” Alec says with a toothy smile once he’s pulled back already tugging Magnus into the bathroom for their shower. Magnus laughs loud and bright as he’s dragged along.

***

Impossibly despite literal hours, Alec’s right, showering together does prolong the entire process of getting out of the apartment when showering becomes shower sex, which becomes another round on the bathroom counter which results in needing to shower again, separately this time much to both their dismays.

Eventually though, they’re dressed and ready. Magnus finishes up the last touches on his hair, adjusting the bright almost golden streak at the front of it which compliments the golden chained pattern of his shirt. He picks up the ring Alec fake proposed to him with last year and twists it onto his right-hand ringer finger with a smile. They obviously aren’t actually engaged, but increasingly lately Magnus finds himself thinking about making it real.

He gives himself one last once over in the mirror before stepping out of the bathroom to find Alec sitting cross legged on their bed and Magnus is nearly sent back in time to a year ago.

He’s wearing the jeans and boots just like he had that night, his eyeliner is in place a little less messy but still unpracticed and his hair is its usual tussled self. The shirt is almost the same, this time it’s one Magnus gave him with subtle lines of shiny black at the collar and cuffs, the little black loops in his ears are a gift from Magnus as well.

It’s a perfect combination of that first night when they were a fake couple out to cause mayhem and the couple they are now, a royal we couple that are so deep in love Magnus has to just take a few breaths in sometimes to remember this is all real.

“Ready to go?” Alec asks looking up at Magnus with a smile. Magnus nods as Alec stands throwing on his leather jacket with the hole in it he refuses to fix. Magnus follows suit grabbing his own jacket and following Alec out as he grabs his keys and wallet scratching the heads of both cats curled up on the back of the couch as he goes.

“We could take the subway you know?” Magnus says once they’re in the elevator, Alec twirling the keys to his Thunderbird around his finger.

Alec scrunches up his face adorably. “No way,” he says gesturing for Magnus to step out first when they reach the lobby. “Cherry helping us fight through Thanksgiving traffic is gonna be a lifelong tradition for us.”

Lifelong Magnus likes the sound of that, but he is dubious that Alec’s precious car will last anywhere near that long.

Alec rushes to the car parked proudly and loudly right in front of their building unlocking it and pulling four times on the passenger door before getting it open.

He smiles at Magnus gesturing with an overstated bow for him to get in and Magnus rolls his eyes but can’t seem to hide his smile and Alec knows it. He shuts the door once Magnus is in and in a move reminiscent of their escape from his father’s last year slides over the hood before slipping into his own seat and starting the car driving off to a much better Thanksgiving than the year before.

[flowerfan2]

A Wonderful Christmastime

Klaine, 1600 words, A03.

Summary:   Sometimes being up in the middle of the night together is an act of love.  A moment of holiday peace for Kurt and Blaine.

Note:  This fic incorporates the first seven words of Klaine Advent 2020 (abashed (a classic fic word if ever there was one), brake, careless, dispensable, event, farm, and gray).  It also marks my sixth (non-consecutive) year of writing for Klaine Advent.

The inspiration for the story came from a conversation with @mildly-allergic-to-life  and is a gift for her - I hope you like it!   Thanks also to my wonderful beta,    @perryavenue.

********

Blaine snuggles deeper into the blankets and turns over, reaching out to pull Kurt against him – it’s chilly on this December night, and he knows Kurt’s feet will be cold, but he doesn’t mind.  Sadly, his hand flops onto their soft flannel sheets without finding his husband.  Moments later, Blaine’s half-asleep brain registers the sound of Kurt’s voice through the monitor and he smiles despite the late hour.

He drags himself out of bed and steps across the narrow hall to Taylor’s room.  Kurt is lying on the floor next to her crib, singing quietly with careless grace, one hand resting gently on their baby’s back.

“Hey,” Blaine whispers.  “How long have you been in here?”

Kurt twists his head to look at Blaine.  “Most of the first act, and part of the second, but I skipped some of the songs.”  He glances at their daughter and back at Blaine.  “Legally Blonde is inspirational, but not entirely age appropriate.”

“Come to bed, you must be exhausted.”

“I can’t,” Kurt says.  “Every time I take my hand off her back she wakes up.”

“Bring her with you,” Blaine says.  Since they brought their newborn home six months ago this has been the topic of constant debate in their house, and with everyone they know, who all apparently feel qualified to share their opinion on how to get babies to sleep.  They waver back and forth between keeping her in bed with them and trying to get her to sleep on her own, and various compromises in between.  (And as they told Tina, who insisted that their very lack of routine was the problem, maybe as long as the three of them are happy and healthy she should just keep her opinions to herself.)

“You have rehearsal all day tomorrow,” Kurt says.  “You need to rest.  I can stay here, I don’t mind.”  Kurt has built himself a little nest on the floor out of a spare quilt and throw pillows, and he’s wearing his fluffy slippers on his ever icy feet, but he still can’t be all that comfortable.

“I’ll sleep better with the two of you in our bed,” Blaine replies.  Kurt shrugs, and accepts Blaine’s hand as he reaches down to help Kurt up.

As predicted, Taylor blinks her gray-blue eyes open as soon as Kurt stops touching her, but Blaine scoops her out of bed and nuzzles her little face before she can make a noise.  When he looks up, Kurt is gazing fondly at the two of them.

“She has your eyelashes,” Kurt says, and Blaine grins.

“She’s a baby, they all have eyelashes like this.”

“That’s a lie, she has the best eyelashes of any baby ever.  And she’s definitely going to have your enviable curls,” Kurt goes on, touching the still wispy dark hair on their daughter’s head.

“If she does, you’re in charge of hair care.”

“As if I’d let you get your gel anywhere near her.”  It’s a running joke, but Blaine is serious – his hair looks so much better now that he let Kurt take charge of his products.  Of course, these days he’s lucky to catch a shower before running off to rehearsal, let alone have time to style his hair, but that’s another story.  Taylor comes first, and no amount of bedhead is going to change that.

Back in their own room they slide under the covers, carefully settling Taylor between the two of them, Kurt reaching across to lay his hand on Blaine’s waist.  There’s a soft reddish glow to the light, coming in from the Christmas decorations in their living room.  It feels peaceful.

“So what made you choose Legally Blonde to sing tonight?”  Blaine asks, keeping his voice quiet as Taylor settles back into sleep.  “With all the Sondheim you’ve done lately, I would have thought you’d have picked one of those.”

“I know, right?” Kurt replies.  “I think it started because I had the part about the department store stuck in my head.”

“First take a deep breath, take it all in.  Feel all the halogens warming your skin,” Blaine sings.  

“I always loved that song.  I mean, who would have thought there’d be a song about how amazing it feels to walk into the fragrance section of a department store?” Kurt says reverently.

“Right?”

“Don’t tease, you know I’m serious about the value of personal service for some things,” Kurt says.  “Websites are good for certain products, but you can’t discover your personal scent on your computer.”

“Did you know that Harry Gordon Selfridge started putting the perfume counter by the front doors in part to cover up the, um, less pleasant odors outside?”

Kurt frowns.  “No, but if that’s true, it makes sense.  I figured it was just to entice people into spending money on scent while they were on their way in looking for clothes.”

“That too.”  Blaine sighs.  “So, what made you think about department stores?  Have you been worrying about holiday shopping?  Because we said we were going to go easy on that this year.”  He inclines his head towards the baby lying between them.  They love their child more than either of them can express, but she is a money pit, and they have had to revise their current budget several times to identify dispensable items.

“I think it was more that I’m so used to searching the web for deals at night…” Kurt breaks off and glares at Blaine, “and no, I was not online shopping just now.”

Blaine smirks.  “I know.  Your phone is still on your nightstand.”  For the first few months of parenthood Kurt had spent way too much money keeping himself awake during midnight feedings by scouring the web for deals on fabric and craft supplies.  After a frank review of their credit card bills, Kurt had agreed to put the brakes on his nighttime online shopping sprees.

Kurt taps his finger against Blaine’s hip.  “I may have purchased a few items yesterday,” he admits, abashed.  “But they were all for Taylor.  Mostly I just send my dad and Carole links.  If we leave them to their own devices who knows what they’ll buy her, and they’re happy to farm out the task to me.”

They lapse into silence, listening to the even, soft breaths of their little girl, who has finally loosened her grip on the silk-trimmed blanket she can’t bear to be without.

“I do understand the urge,” Blaine says.  “Like wanting to stop and shop for unnecessary plastic objects…” Blaine says, a snippet of another song passing through his brain, and Kurt looks at him questioningly.  “You know, from Nanci Griffith’s intro to that song, when she talks about the need to go into a Woolworth’s and buy unnecessary plastic objects?”

Kurt gazes at him, charmed.  “No, I don’t know that one.”

“It’s called Love at the Five and Dime.”  Blaine hums it for a second, remembering driving in the car with his mom, singing along.  

“Rita was sixteen years, hazel eyes and chestnut hair.  She made the Woolworth counter shine.  And Eddie was a sweet romancer, and darn good dancer, and they'd waltz the aisles of the five and dime.”

”And they'd sing -  "Dance a little closer to me Dance a little closer now Dance a little closer tonight Dance a little closer to me 'cause it's closing time and love's on sale tonight at this five and dime."

The melody is soft and sweet, and Blaine does his best to echo the singer’s gentle, swinging style.

Kurt rubs his thumb along Blaine’s hip.  “That’s really pretty.”

“I’ll play it for you sometime.  She does this neat thing where she plinks her guitar string to sound like the ‘ding’ of the elevator. I think it would work on the piano.”

“It’s a nicer shopping song than the Legally Blonde one,” Kurt says.

“It’s about love, not shopping, really.”

“So is the Legally Blonde one,” Kurt insists.  “Elle is taking Emmett shopping for clothes so that he has exactly the right look to give him the confidence he needs.  That’s an act of love.”

“I know.”  Blaine smiles at Kurt, thinking of all the hours they’ve spent selecting outfits, Kurt never failing to offer his opinion on what Blaine should wear for an audition, or an interview, or some other career defining event.  Kurt always does everything he can to help Blaine feel prepared to face the world, and Blaine appreciates it more than he can say.  

“Anyway, I like the song,” Kurt says.  “Sing some more.”

Blaine smiles and sings the rest of the Nanci Griffith song.  By the end, the hand Kurt had rested on Blaine’s hip has gotten restless, and is moving enticingly towards Blaine’s ass.

“Honey?”  Blaine asks, catching Kurt’s eye.  “Is me singing about shopping turning you on?”

Kurt runs his hand back over Blaine’s hip, then walks his fingers up Blaine’s chest over his pajama shirt, his touch light and teasing.  He catches Blaine’s gaze.  “You should know by now, you singing about anything turns me on.”

They both look at Taylor, who is sleeping deeply now, her whole body lax.  They obviously can’t get intimate with her lying in between them, but…

“Wanna go fool around by the Christmas tree?”  Blaine asks, grinning.

They extricate themselves from the bed carefully, arranging the blankets just the right distance away from and around their daughter, and creep out to the living room.  Kurt takes an afghan off the couch and spreads it on the floor.  They lie down together, gazing at each other under the twinkling lights, until Blaine pulls Kurt into a fervent kiss.  

At one point they roll a little too close to the tree, and they freeze, giggling, as Kurt re-positions a sparkling ornament so it doesn’t fall on them during an inopportune moment.  And if Blaine has a bit of tinsel in his hair come morning, no one minds a bit.

End notes (sorry, I seem to have a lot of notes for this little fic)

The songs mentioned are Nanci Griffth’s very lovely Love At The Five And Dime, and Take It Like A Man from Legally Blonde.  I really also wanted to work in the Barenaked Ladies ode to shopping, too, (just called Shopping) but it didn’t fit.  Title is from Paul McCartney’s song A Wonderful Christmastime, covered by the Barenaked Ladies on their holiday album (which is great and includes some really fun Hanukkah songs too).

Note also that Blaine and Kurt are also tired of people asking about their baby’s name, as well as poking their nose into her sleeping habits.  They picked Taylor because it’s gender-neutral and they like it, and not because Blaine knows the words to every Taylor Swift song.

[just-jordie-things]

Can’t Pretend - Richie Tozier

word count: 13,840 warnings: swearing, sexual themes summary: richie and (y/n) share a dirty little secret, and it’s starting to get in the way of her relationship.  but it shouldn’t if it was just a fling, right? based on this song (a/n): about to hit 5.4k so I thought I'd celebrate by posting this ol’ thing :) I really like it I hope y'all do too :3

___

[ love... i have wounds, only you can mend // i guess that’s love… i can’t pretend ]

It was a plain saturday for the Losers.  And by plain, I mean they were chilling in Bill’s bedroom, thankful that his parents were out of town for the weekend because that meant they could raid the liquor cabinet and be a bit louder than usual.

(y/n) was leaning against the mattress, sat on the floor, a beer bottle in hand and a smile on her face.  These were the best kinds of nights, where all they did was talk, and it was all they had to do.

Eddie smacks Richie on his shoulder, but nearly hits his face in his drunken stupor.  And when (y/n) laughs, her head leans a little more into Ben’s leg, which is hanging off the side of the bed where he sat.  She’s laughing loudly into the denim of his jeans, and the material does nothing to muffle the sound.

Everyone else is laughing too, though, so it doesn’t matter.

“Alright, so is anyone aware that in four months, we won’t see each other like this anymore?” Beverly asks, a frown on her face as she takes another drink.  “I mean, what, am I supposed to make new friends?”

“Yeah, good look with that, Ringwald” Richie snorts, and Bev just flips him off, the way she always does when he calls her that.

“We won’t be that far from each other” Ben says to her with a sweet smile.

“And it’s not like we won’t write, too,” Stan chimes in.  “Except you Richie, after we graduate, never fucking talk to me again-”

“Oh, I’ll send you love letters every day sweetie pie,” Richie says before Stan can even finish.  “Don’t you worry, it’ll be like I’m right there with you”

He sticks his tongue out and snickers, while Stan grumbles about needing a break.

(y/n) can’t help but giggle at both boys.  Partially because she gets very giggly when tipsy, and partially because they’re the two funniest people she knows.  Richie grins at her when he catches her laughing, only making her laugh more.

“How are w-we gonna do it?” Bill muses, not really looking for an answer, because there really isn’t one.

“We don’t,” (y/n) shrugs.  “We avoid it until… there’s not really any other option” 

“Dark” Ben mumbled.

“It’s true,” (y/n) argued.  “If we go through this year with the mindset that this is the end, then we’ll push each other away, it’s psychology”

Eddie nods because he was in her class and is pretty sure he remembers hearing that.

“So we just live our best year” He agrees with her.

She high fives him.

“Well you’re already on your way,” Beverly said, and stood up from where she sat next to Mike so she could plop down next to her best girl.  “What, with your fancy scholarship, and your boyfriend” She singsonged the word, and (y/n) wilted with embarrassment.

“Come on Bev-”

“Are you guys gonna stay together?” Stan asks, the gears in his head turning as soon as her boyfriend was mentioned.  “I mean it’s been like… five months, right?”

“Four and a half” (y/n) mumbled, pulling her knees to her chest.

She stares down at her drink, and then takes a long swig.  She had a feeling she’d need it.

Talking about her boyfriend when everyone was around was… awkward.  It was one thing if it was just her and Beverly, but to have all the boys’ eyes on her every time his name came up made her feel hot, like she was being interrogated.

“So you’re kinda serious,” Stan shrugged.  “How many times have you done it?”

She chokes, and coughs for a long moment before catching her breath.

“Stan you don’t get to-”

“Come on, just fess up,” Beverly giggles.  “We won’t make fun! Promise!”

(y/n’s) cheeks go hot, and she knows they’re pink and that she’ll only be picked on more for it.  She locks eyes with Richie, who winks at her, and now her face must be red.

“We- uh-” Her eyes dart away before she can choke and lose her train of thought again.  “We actually um… haven’t… done… that” She says slowly, and with every reluctant word her voice gets softer.

“What?” Eddie screeches.

“No way,” Stan is laughing in disbelief.  “Come on, just give up the number.  What, ten? Fifteen? Twenty-?!”

(y/n’s) eyes are narrowed at him, silently yelling for him to fuck off.

“Really?” Beverly asks, just as shocked as the others.

Well, everyone was surprised.

“But he’s so…”

“Hot?” Eddie offers, only to get nudged in the ribs by the trashmouth next to him.

“I was going to say affectionate,” Beverly answers, staring skeptically at Richie.  “He’s always hanging all over you, how have you not hooked up?”

(y/n) shrugs her shoulders and stares down at her drink again.

“I dunno” She mumbles weakly.

“Has he tried-?”

“This is super awkward, can we be done?” She asked, voice still soft, embarrassed.

“I mean come on, don’t you want to f-”

“Can we stop fucking talking about this, before I’m forced to visualize his dick?” Richie cuts in, faking a gag.  “Oh, fuck, too late, thanks a lot you sluts”

Stan and Beverly are distracted by the comment and burst into laughter while Richie pretends to throw up.

After the conversation ends, and Ben starts talking about the colleges he’s deciding between, (y/n) glances over to her favorite glasses-wearing idiot.  He catches her gaze, and she mouths ‘thank you’.  He just smiles, before diving right back into conversation about why Ben should be an architect and not a poet.

A few beers later and they have to cut themselves off, because if they drink too much then Bill’s parents will notice and they’ll all get in trouble.  They shouldn’t be drinking anymore anyways, because everyone’s relatively tipsy, and with the general excitable mood among the group, drinking more would be a bad idea.

Everyone’s lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling and talking about nonsense.  What was once a serious conversation about their future has turned into a debate about what the most important thing to have when stranded on an island would be.

“A knife, definitely a knife” Mike argues.

“What? Fuck no, a gun” Stanley fights back, thus starting an argument about not having bullets because you can only choose one item.

“Flint? I guess? I don’t fuckin’ know” Beverly says sleepily.  She didn’t care much for this discussion when it started, and forty five minutes later, she still doesn’t.

“I’d bring an issue of Maxim, for sure.  Gotta keep busy you know-”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie grumbles.  “I’d bring an epipen.  I’m allergic to everything on an island”

“Oh fuck off, you’re not allergic to sand” Richie smacks the boy on his arm for suggesting something so idiotic.

“I’d bring  one of my grandpa’s sheep,” Mike spoke after what seemed like forever of deliberation.  “It’d save his life and I’d have a companion”

“That’s sweet,” (y/n) cooed, smiling delightedly at the idea of Mike wanting a friend more than anything else.  “I’ll take a sheep too, please”

The two break out into laughter for a few minutes, uncontrollable, belly aching laughter.

“You can’t copy Mike, come up with your own!” Eddie scolded, offended that (y/n) tried to break the rules of their made up game.

“Alright, alright, let a girl think first…” (y/n) folded her arms over her head as she squinted, to help her thought process.  “Um… a book”

“A book?” Eddie laughed almost maniacally at her answer.  “Alright, just fuckin’ take a sheep from Mike, that was even worse”

“What? No it isn’t,” (y/n) argued.  “It’ll keep me occupied and entertained, and when it’s done I can read it over again”

“Lame” Eddie muttered.

She reached over to smack him, and sadly Bill got caught in the crossfire.

“You wouldn’t bring your lover?” Stan teased, and she almost hit him too.  “You’d pick a farm animal over your boyfriend?”

“I didn’t think of it like that” She said quietly.

“I don’t get you guys,” Stan says, and she sighs because the conversation has somehow drifted to him, again.  “I mean, it’s been four and a half months, and typically couples get it on for their one month.  But you’ve had four anniversaries and still haven’t-”

“Why are you so interested in my business, Stanley?” (y/n) asked, a bit more defensive than she needed to be.

He raises his hands and pulls an innocent face.

“I’m just worried about you!” He retorts.  “You’re the one in desperate need-”

“I’m not desperate for anything” She snaps.

“Yeah, Stan, she’s not a virgin, (y/n’s) gotten some before” Beverly makes an attempt to back (y/n) up, but it only makes her feel worse.

“What? But he’s her first boyfriend- oh my god, who was it?” Stan asks, way more interested in this topic now.

“Leave me alone” She rolls her eyes and shoves his shoulder.

“Oh god, it must be real embarrassing,” Eddie is giddy for the gossip now, sitting up to join in better.  “Who was it?”

“Cut it out” She says a bit louder, sharp eyes meeting Eddies, a silent threat in them.

“Who was it, Bev?” Eddie asked, deciding to go the source it came from.

But she shrugs her shoulders, and makes an ‘I don’t know’ sound.

“What do you m-mean you don’t kn-know?” Bill stammers out.

“She didn’t wanna tell me” Beverly answers, simple as that.

(y/n) covers her face with her hands.  She wishes she was more drunk than she was, because then maybe there was hope for recovering from this.  Or maybe even forgetting completely.

“Must be real embarrassing,” Richie teases.

She peeks at him through her fingers.

“Bowers?” He asks with a raised brow, and she barks out a laugh.

Everyone laughs then, at the mere idea of anyone hooking up with that nutcase.

“I promised I wouldn’t tell, okay?” She admits after the laughter has died and all attention is on her again.  “It’s private” She adds softer.

“Fine” Stan gives in, not wanting to make the girl anymore uncomfortable.

If they knew anything about (y/n), it was that she kept secrets and promises locked away forever.  She was the most trustworthy person any of them had ever met.  And she’d never break someone else’s trust either.

“But if you’ve done it before, why aren’t you, yaknow, still doing it?” Stan asks, and begins to giggle at his own words.  “I mean, if I had a hot girlfriend, I’d be doing it like… all the time”

“Pervert” (y/n) mumbles.

“Did you just call (y/n) hot?” Eddie asks, and everyone ooohs at his catch.

“Alright, alright! Calm down, of course I did!” Stan announces, and a blush takes over the girl’s face again.  But this time she’s not embarrassed, she’s flattered.  “It’s an observation, okay? Jesus”

She giggles, and leans over to kiss his cheek.

“You guys are so dumb,” She mumbles.  “I love you all so much”

“All I’m asking,” Stan declares, voice loud.  “Is why you’re avoiding it!”

“I’m not avoiding it” She argues, but she knows she’s failed because it’s such a blatant lie, and any sober mind would be able to see that.

Luckily, no one in this room is sober.

“Oh yeah?” Stan scoffs.  “Have you been home alone with him in the last four and a half months?”

“Yeah?” She asks, voice cracking slightly.

“And you didn’t screw him?”

“Watch it” Richie’s voice bites from where he lies a few feet away from them.  Stan pays it no mind, but Bev kicks his leg, and furrows her brow at him, wondering why he gave a fuck what Stan had to say.

The others were either asleep, or didn’t want to step in on the mini argument (y/n) and Stan were having.

Ben and Mike had passed out on the floor a few minutes ago.  And Eddie and Bill just sat and listened to the argument, wishing they could pass out.

“No, I- I didn’t,” (y/n) stammers.  “But so? I don’t want to rush it-”

“Liaaaar,” Stan singsongs.  “You don’t want to hook up with him”

“That’s not true!” She exclaims.  “We-. we’re actually hanging out at his place tuesday night,” She tells him matter of factly.  “Alone!”

“Ooh, good for you,” Stan retorts sarcastically.  “That doesn’t mean shit unless you actually take your pants off”

Her face scrunches up as her eyes narrow at him.  Now she’s angry, because he doesn’t believe her, and he’s not trying to.  So what if she’s lying through her teeth? He’s her friend and he should believe her.

“I’m tired” She announces suddenly, and forces herself to stand up.

She steals one of the few blankets on Bill’s bed that he’d prepared for everyone.  Her balance is a bit shaky as she wraps it around herself, and heads for the door.

“Goodnight” She calls, only once she’s left the room and is heading for the pullout bed in the living room sofa.

The room is silent for a few minutes after she’s left.

“Well fuck, you’re gonna have to apologize in the morning” Eddie mumbles, and San knows he’s talking to him.

“I didn’t think she’d get that pissed,” He replied guiltily.  “I was just messin’, I thought she’d just get embarrassed.  I don’t know what I did-”

“She doesn’t like talking about that stuff, dumbass,” Richie says.  “Shit makes her uncomfortable”

“Well I didn’t know that-” Stan starts to argue.

Beverly stops him before he can start any more drama tonight.

“Don’t worry about it, Stan, she’ll be alright,” She says, and then gets up to get a blanket as well.  “I’ll go talk to her to make sure she really is alright, goodnight”

The boys mumble a ‘goodnight’ back to her, and she descends the staircase to check on her friend, who’s laying facedown on the mattress.

“Oh, hon,” Bev laughs, and lays down next to her.  “Don’t be so upset with Stan, he was just being dumb-”

“I know” (y/n) mumbles into her pillow.

Beverly pulls the blanket she’s brought with her and drapes it over her back, so she won’t get cold while she’s pouting.

“Then what’s troubling you?”

Her words are a bit slurred, but the care is still there.

“I just… I don’t know.  I didn’t have to think about it before and now I can’t stop,” (y/n) admits with a sign.  “And maybe I’m upset because… he’s right.  Maybe I’m upset because he’s write and I wouldn’t admit it to myself, but I have been avoiding hooking up with him.  I mean, so much could go wrong and I just… don’t want to have a bunch of drama our senior year, yaknow? I want it to be smooth and easy.  And so far with him our relationship has been smooth and easy, but what if he’s wanted to do it this whole time and I keep dodging him and now he’s gonna break up with me?”

(y/n) lifts her head to turn to her redheaded friend for advice.

But Beverly is sound asleep, snoring softly against her pillow.

(y/n) can’t help but smile a bit, even though she really needed help sorting out her messy thoughts.  But she wasn’t going to bother Beverly by waking her up.

So she carefully crept off the squeaky pullout mattress, and went back upstairs.

Ben and Mike are still asleep on the floor, but someone’s thrown a couple blankets over them.

Stan is on Bill’s bed, facing the opposite direction as Bill, and they’ve both knocked off as well.

Maybe everyone else had more to drink than her, she thinks as she shuts the door to leave them be.  When she turns to head to the guest bedroom, she nearly runs into Eddie.

“Who are you looking for?” He asks right away.

He rubs his tired eyes, and she adores that he looks like a child when he does so.

“Um-”

“Richie’s in bed already,” Eddie says before she can answer.  “If you’re gonna prank him, you might want to wait a few minutes, so you know he’s in a deep enough sleep”

(y/n) chuckles at the unprompted advice, and nods her head.

“Alright... thanks” She says.

Eddie doesn’t say anything else as he pushes past her to go to sleep in Bill’s room.

“You aren’t gonna sleep in the guest room?” She asks with furrowed brows.

“Fuck no, Richie kicks and talks in his sleep.  I’d rather stay on the floor with those two” Eddie answers, and then gives her a small wave before shutting the bedroom door.

She takes a deep breath as she stands in front of the guest room’s door.  And then before she could stop herself, she opens the door, and shuts it quickly behind her as she steps inside.

Richie's laying in bed, arms wrapped around the pillow that his face is pressed into.  He mumbles a slurred ‘who is it?’ into the feathery cushion.  But he knows it’s her before she even answers.  Because as she sits on the side of the bed next to him, he can smell her perfume.

He squints up at her, having lost his glasses somewhere in Bill’s room, and wonders what she’s doing here.

“Surprise” She says weakly, and a slight smirk tugs on his lips.

“What’s goin’ on?” He asks, leaning his face back down into the comfort of the cool pillow.  He was already getting a headache from the four beers he had.  (He’d drank two of the three Eddie had gotten)

“Can we talk?” She asks in a voice so soft that she can only be referencing one thing.

Richie nods, and pats the space next to him with his palm.

She hesitates for just a moment, before giving in and laying down in the spot, grabbing a hold of the other pillow she mirrors Richie’s actions and hugs it under her head.

He doesn’t say anything, just lays there with his eyes closed in the dark and waits for her to go first.

“Was I….” She starts, but then bites her lip and shakes her head as she changes her mind.  “When we…”

“...hooked up?” He offers.

It’s so casual, so quiet, that her heart skips a beat, because she can’t believe he can just say it like that.  Speak their darkest, most carefully kept secret, out into the open like that.

“Yeah…” She mumbled back.  “Was I… I don’t know… good?”

He opens his eyes now, and his brows furrow as he sees her anxious expression.

They hadn’t talked about it since it had happened, which was their deal, but after her argument with Stan he figured she was going to sneak in here and talk to him.  He’s not sure why she looks so scared, though.

“Were you good?” He repeats her question, like he doesn’t understand it.

She nods her head.

“(y/n), of course you were good, you were you,” He chuckles, a genuine smile on his lips.  The compliment, if you could call it that, made her blush.  “He’ll be lucky to have you in his bed, alright?”

“Be honest with me,” She said.  “Don’t just say stuff to make me feel better”

“I’m not” Richie grumbles, laying back down again.

His head his swirling a bit, and with her laying so close to him, it wasn’t helping.

“Why haven’t you done it yet, anyways?” He asks her after it’s been silent for too long.

“I…” She tries and fails to answer the question.  But she’s her most honest self when she’s with Richie, and feels he deserves an explanation for her behavior tonight.  “... was scared” She finishes after a few minutes.

“You’re scared of sex?” He mumbles, and she shakes her head.

“No… just… with him”

“That makes no sense, (y/n/n)”

“I know” She whispers out, and her fingers draw patterns on the sheets.

“You think he’s gonna… hurt you?” Richie asks, because as soon as the thought crosses his mind, he has to ask.

“No, of course not,” She replies, and lifts up his blanket so she can shimmy under it and warm up a bit.  “Sometimes I feel like I just don’t know him” Her voice drops to a whisper again.

Her eyes are focused on his tee shirt, trying to figure out what band is advertised on it while Richie thinks.  He’s not sure what to tell her, because of course he doesn’t want to promote her hooking up with him.  But… the guy’s her boyfriend, so what’s he supposed to do?

“(y/n)....” He sighs, and subconsciously wraps an arm around her.  His hand tangles in her hair, massaging her scalp comfortingly.  “That’s not true, you’ve been together for a while now”

The logic is there, but she’s unconvinced.

“And besides,” He continues, and she looks up at him, meeting his kind eyes.  “When you’re ready, you’ll know,” He says, and he grins before poking her cheek and nose.  “But you already know that”

She giggles softly, swatting away his hand.

“I hate when you’re right, you know,” She says through a yawn.

Without thinking, she leaned her head into his chest.

“What if I don’t want to do it, though?” She asks.  “What if… what if I don’t like it?”

“You hurt my feelings when you talk like you’ve never done it before”

“No more jokes,” She whispers.  “I mean it”

“Then you tell him, and you stop,” Richie answers without missing a beat.  “That’s how it works… you know that, right?”

“S-sure,” She stammers out.  “But what if-”

“No, there’s no ‘what ifs’ about that one, (y/n/n),” He tells her seriously.  “I’m not fucking around, if you want to stop then you-”

“Don’t worry, Rich,” She hums.  “You don’t have to give me the consent talk, that’s not what I mean”

His brows furrow down at her, but she doesn’t see because her eyes are closed and her face is hidden in his shirt.  For a second he’s distracted and wonders if he should be holding her like this when she has a boyfriend.

“What… do you mean, then?”

“What if I’m not… um…” She trails off, clearly embarrassed.

“Come on, don’t hold out on me now” Richie chuckles teasingly.

“... attracted to him… sexually?” She speaks like she’s unsure of her words, and it takes everything in Richie not to laugh out loud.

“That’s not something I can fix, hon” He tells her, and she can tell he’s holding back a laugh.

She’s silent, and Richie hopes she hasn’t fallen asleep, because knows it wouldn’t be right to share a bed for the night.

“I mean you’ve… done other stuff, right?” He asks, and even that seems wrong.  He really shouldn’t even be talking to her about this, but it’s not his fault that he’s the only person she can talk to about this stuff.

(It’s maybe his fault that they slept together in the first place, but surely (y/n) can take some responsibility for that one)

“Not really” She says in a barely audible mumble.

“Not really?” He repeats, confused by the question.  “All you’ve done is-”

“We’ve made out a couple times,” She tells him before she overthinks it and starts to feel uncomfortable.  “That’s it”

“Clothes have never come off?” He asks with a chuckle he can’t contain.

(y/n) shakes her head.

“What the fuck is wrong with-”

“Richie…”

“-him?” He finished anyways, taking her by surprise that he wasn’t trying to bash on her.  “Look, (y/n/n), it’s your relationship, you do what you want to do.  But do you even see a future with him?”

She’s silent again.

And then she shuffles off the mattress, and heads for the door.

“(y/n),” Richie called with a sigh.  “It’s just a question”

She held the open door in her hand, and looked back at him.  He had a guilty but confused look on his face, and was propped up in ed, hoping she’d come back and finish talking.

“I’m tired, Richie,” She said softly.  “Goodnight”

He let out a sigh, regretting having been so forward and pushing her out of her comfort zone.  He hadn’t realized it when he’d asked, but he sure as hell could tell now.

“Goodnight” He said before she could shut the door behind her.

(y/n) was glad that Beverly was fast asleep on the pullout bed still, because all she did for the rest of the night is fuss to get comfortable, only to lay wide awake, overthinking.

Trying to figure out a future with her boyfriend in it. ___

[ oh feel our bodies grow, and our souls they play // yeah love i hope you know how much my heart depends ]

It was loud, it was so loud that the bass in the music playing was ringing in her ears, and making the liquid in her cup ripple.  But that might have just been because she was stumbling around so much, trying to find somewhere to chill out for a minute in this sea of bodies.

Richie Tozier’s hand was holding on tightly to hers, pulling her behind him, acting as a guide through the chaos.  But who was she kidding, he was the chaos.  It was his house party after all.

How he’d even invited this many people, (y/n) wasn’t sure.  It’s not like he knew everyone here, but word of mouth works fast in Derry, and a byob party that had half a dozen kegs and then some, not one student from their school missed it.

Even Stan was here… somewhere.  

It was a bit hopeless to go looking for people in this crowd.

Finally Richie had taken them outside.  There were still a couple dozen people hanging out in his backyard, but at least she could hear herself think, or take a step without bumping into someone.

“Thank god,” She huffed, pushing her hair out of her face and taking a drink.  “I thought I was gonna get trampled to death in there”

Richie chuckles, eyes shining as he watched her finally relax a bit.

“You would’ve made this party worth talking about if you had” He teases her.

“I think it already is,” She replies with a small and nervous laugh.  “The whole school’s here, Rich, I think people will be talking about it for a- who brought a kiddie pool?”

She cuts herself off as her eye catch a plastic pool, filled with eyes and the most beer she’s ever seen all at once.  They definitely hadn’t brought it, although she’s surprised that none of them had thought of it when planning for this party.

“Don’t know” Richie shrugs, and then wanders over to grab them two bottles.

They’d been drinking soda all night, not wanting to get shit faced so they could keep an eye on things.  But they were well past that, and at this point, whatever happens, happens.

She taps her glass against his in a quiet ‘clink’

“Cheers to you, Tozier” She says with a rather sweet smile, the kind that he compulsively smiles back at.

“And you” He replies, before tipping the bottle back and taking a long swig.

The thing about (y/n) was that… well, there was just this thing.  An undeniable, unspoken, electric thing.  There was something about her that drew Richie towards her like a magnet.  Even tonight, he’d shown up at her side, and just like that they’d spent the last two hours together.  She was such a lovely person, which was a rarity in this town.  

He had a feeling that she owned his heart, even though he just had a silly teenage crush on her.  But what had started as a silly crush, an admiration for her beauty, grew into an adoration of her entire being, her soul.  He was falling for her, at a speed from the atmosphere, and he was bound to crash soon.

Her hand reaches out and seizes the sleeve of his denim jacket, yanking him towards her all in one motion.  His heart’s beating out of his chest with anticipation, but as quickly as she’d grabbed him, she was shaking him out of his daze.

“You almost got knocked over,” She tells him, nodding to the pair of drunken boys with their arms slung around one another, stumbling around the backyard, trying to walk in sync.  “You alright?”

“Yeah, sorry, out of it” He answered with choppy words.

He finds the crease between her brows adorable.

“You only took one sip,” She jokes, poking at his bottle.  “Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?” She asks, holding four fingers in front of his face while giggling.

Richie rolls his eyes, grabbing her hand to pull it out of his face.

But he doesn’t let go.

And for the next hour, as they talk and drink a little and dance, her hand remains in his.  She didn’t say anything about it, which he’s silently thankful for.  Maybe she feels safer when attached to him, knowing she’s not going to get sucked into the crowd and lost.  Or maybe she just… wants to.

They’re dancing in the living room, to a song neither of them knew, with a hundred strangers, when she finally mentions it.

“You’re blushing!” She announces, albeit a bit tipsy.

There’s a grin on her face, and with her free hand she pokes at the pink on his cheeks.

“Cut that out- what’s with you and jabbing your fingers at me today?” He says, trying to brush it off and get her to forget about it.  It doesn’t work.

She bursts into a fit of laughter, and her body leans towards his a bit as she does.

She only lets go of his hand to wrap her arms around his neck and spin them around excitedly.

“You never blush,” She says.  “So what’s on your mind?”

She sounds bubbly, as if his answer is amusing to her, and she’s impatient to hear it.  Richie shakes his head, and wills the heat in his face to go away, but it doesn’t.  Of course it doesn’t, she’s standing a few inches away from him and staring at him with those round and curious eyes that he loves and-

“You” He responds with a shrug.

His voice is cool and casual as ever, but he’s losing his shit on the inside.

Her lips form an ‘o’ as she processes the single word.  For a second he regretted speaking, which was kinda normal for him, but then her eyes lit up and she giggles with delightful bashfulness.

A breath of a laugh escapes his lips as he laughs nervously with her.

“You’re adorably funny” She says, and takes him by surprise when she leans up on her toes, cups her face in one hand, and presses a kiss to his other cheek.

When she lands back flat on her feet, she’s amused by the grin that she’d put on his face.

“Drinks?” She asks, and when he pulls a face, she clarifies, “Non-alcoholic drinks”

“Fine” He agrees, and when they head out of the living room, her hand reaches out and grabs his, slotting her fingers through his with ease.

He glances down to her when she does so, but she just gives him a big and innocent smile.

They find their friends in the kitchen.  Beverly and Eddie are quite… shit faced, while Bill is drinking water and trying to get them to have some as well.  From what Richie and (y/n) could tell, his efforts were useless.

“Let them be,” (y/n) says, ruffling up Eddie’s hair with her free hand, only to get swatted away.  “They’ll pay the consequences in the morning”

Bill shrugs and hums in agreement, but he tries to get them to drink something.

“What’s goin’ on here?” Bev asks, pointing at Richie and (y/n’s) conjoined hands.

Richie starts to let go, but she squeezes his hand and smiles almost proudly at her drunk friend.

“Well I don’t wanna get lost” She says confidently.

Beverly shrugs, not having the attention span to ask further questions, or really care.

“Is that- are you- is that rootbeer?” Eddie asks, and he squints at the can in (y/n’s) hand, like he can’t see.  “You’re at a- a fuckin’ party and you’re drinkin’ a soda?”

“Leave her alone Eddie Spaghetti” Richie chides, smacking the shorter boy on the shoulder.

“Yeah, Eddie Spaghetti” (y/n) adds in a mocking tone, and giggles to herself at the nickname.

Eddie hates it, but he’s drunk off his ass, so there’s not much he can do about it.  He’ll try to throw hands with Richie tomorrow.

Bev starts to tell a story about a fight she saw on the front lawn.  It’s missing parts, and she’s having a hard time remembering most of it, but they listen because it’s funny and interesting.

(y/n) sat herself on the kitchen counter, drink in one hand and Richie’s hand in the other, laughing along and encouraging her to continue.  Even when she finishes her story, she’s not sure what happened, or who was even fighting, but it doesn’t matter.

“It’s l-late,” Bill says, eyeing the stove that reads 2:15.  “I think I should go”

“You’re not staying the night?” (y/n) asked.

Richie’s parents would be gone for another day, leaving plenty of time for the Losers Club to hang out, and clean up the trashed house everyone else left behind.

“No, I sh-shouldn’t,” He says.  “B-but I’ll come b-back tomorrow to help with th-the mess” He adds in a reassuring tone.

“Alright Billy,” (y/n) reaches her arms out towards him, prompting him to hug her goodbye.  She embraces him tightly for a short moment.  “See ya tomorrow”

He gives a small wave, and then offers a ride to Eddie and Bev.  They both decide to keep drinking and crash at the house.  He’s not surprised.

“I feel like dancing!” Beverly declares, and is out of the kitchen before anyone could say a word.

“Man is she fuckin’ wasted” Eddie chuckles.

Richie and (y/n) burst out laughing at the irony, but don’t tell him why it’s funny when he asks why they’re laughing their asses off.

Eddie winds up sitting on the kitchen floor, and then laying on it, cradling an empty bottle of vodka to his chest.

“You gonna sleep down there with him?” Richie asks (y/n), and gives the asmathic on the floor a gentle kick.

(y/n) giggles and shakes her head, and without thinking, reaches out to grab onto his hands again.  With a small tug, he steps closer, almost standing between her open legs.  But he doesn’t dare move that close.

“No…” She answers after a minute.  “There’s no way in hell you’re making me sleep on a floor”

“Well, if the beds are all taken-”

“Richard Tozier” She says his name firmly, “If you don’t give me a bed to sleep in like a human fucking being I swear I will-”

“You’ll what, sweetheart?”

His voice drops an octave, and his head cocks to the side a bit as he stares at her skeptically, wondering what it was she was about to say next.  When her mouth is left hanging open, he smirks a little.

“Come on (y/n/n), you’re not the threatening type,” He speaks at a normal volume again, but his closeness and the look on his face doesn’t fade.  “Besides, you got nothing on me”

“Oh, I doubt that-” She tries to argue, but he cuts her off again.

“Just try to think of something, you can’t.  My record’s squeaky clean”  

He leans a bit closer with every word, but the movement is miniscule, and she’s probably the only person in the room who could have noticed it.

As soon as he eyes wander to his lips, they dart right back up, but it’s too late, he caught the glance, and his smirk widens.

Richie quirks a brow in question, like an asshole.

She sets her soda can on the counter next to her.

“You really value me so little that you’ll make me sleep, where, on the floor? The bathtub?”

“I think the tub is still occupied, actually,” Richie says.  “And the floor, well, it’s covered in trash and…” He looks down to Eddie, who’s very close to passing out.  “... more trash”

(y/n) hits his chest with the back of her hand.

“That was for Eddie” She says, and Richie laughs.

She’s got an offended look on her face, and fuck if it wasn’t the cutest thing he’s ever seen…

“I’m just saying sweetheart…” He shrugs his shoulders innocently.  “Your sleeping options aren’t looking great.  Pretty much everywhere is taken”

She’s quiet for a moment, and he can tell she’s hesitant, because she bites down on her lip, and she has a hard time keeping eye contact.  He doesn’t rush her to say whatever’s on her mind, just stands there, unmoving, and waits.

“Show me a bed, then, Tozier”

It’s soft, whispered like a secret, and unsure.

They’re both still for a beat, each waiting for the other to back out.

But neither do.

So he offers her his hand, which she gladly takes before hopping off the counter and following closely behind him.  Through the thinning crowd in the living room, and then up the stairs.

When they’re in the hall, he casts a look over his shoulder to her, and her eyes meet his instantly.

There’s something serious in them that he’s never seen in her before.  Like she was trying to tell him something, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it is.

Her free hand grabs onto the sleeve of his jacket, tethering herself to him.  There was nowhere to get lost up here, everyone was downstairs.  Except for the boy passed out in the bathtub, and Richie was fairly certain a couple passed out in his parent’s bedroom.  But right now, they were alone.

He brings her to his room, carefully peeking in to make sure no one was in there, before letting her inside.  He’s quick to shut and lock the door.

(y/n) gives him a look at the sound of the lock clicking, and his face flushes.

“I mean- it’d be weird if some frisky couple were to come in- while we’re in here” He defends his actions.

She just hums, and wanders over to his dresser, where his fish tank sat.  She smiled at his goldfish before swirling the tip of her finger in the water.

Richie just admires her while she glances over his things.  The picture frames, the trinkets and forgotten things he’s left there.  She looks so natural standing there.

It wasn’t often that she was in his room, Richie’s house isn’t somewhere that everyone hangs out at, and (y/n) and Richie rarely hang out alone.  It was kind of nice to have so much time with her tonight, just her.  And still, he wanted it all the time.

She can feel his eyes on her, and when she turns around, she isn’t surprised that she was right.

She gives him a small smile, and clasps her hands together behind her back.  It was a nervous habit she had, squeezing her hands together tightly, and Richie loved seeing her do it now.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been in here,” She says, desperately trying to fill the silence.  “Hasn’t changed much though” She added in a quieter voice.

He doesn’t say anything, and it only amps up her nerves.

And then he strides over to her, rather quickly, and her breath caught in her throat as he’s suddenly towering over her, face a mere few inches away from hers.  

She’s frozen, staring at him wide eyed and waiting for him to do something.

She’d thought he was going to kiss her, and when he didn’t, hear heart only beat harder in her chest.

“What?” She asks, wondering what he was doing if he wasn’t going to make a move.

“Nothing” He shakes his head, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What are you doing then?” She questions him again, voice a hundred times softer.

He gives her a playful smirk, and she almost frowns at him, annoyed by the teasing.

“I’m not doing anything” He hums with a shrug.

She rolls her eyes, done with the games, and steps away.  She needs a breath.  Or two.  Two very deep breaths.

But before she can, Richie’s hand shoots out and grabs her wrist, pulling her back so rough that she collides into his chest, making them both stagger for a brief moment, until his lips crash down into hers.

She’s just gotten her balance back when he pulls away, staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to tell him to stop.

Her lips are parted and she’s panting softly, still in shock, and her eyes flutter open to meet his.

She doesn’t tell him to stop, instead, she leans up on the tips of her toes to kiss him again, a much longer kiss that she wished he’d begun with.

They pulled away at the same time.

“We can’t tell the others!” They both rush out the words so fast, so panicked, but it disappears as they register the other agrees.

And then all at once they’re kissing again.  His hands are gripping her hips, keeping her pressed completely against him, while hers are tangled in his hair, combing and gripping at his strands of curls.

Their lips move so feverishly, both desperate for every second to be fulfilling.  They knew this was a once in a lifetime chance, that this was their only chance, and it had to be perfect.

They part for a few seconds, so (y/n) can catch her breath.

His nose prods against hers, before he takes her cin between his thumb and forefinger, turning her head to the side so that he can trail a line of kisses along her jaw, tracing up to the sweet spot just below her ear.

He bit the soft skin, because he couldn’t help himself.  She gasped softly, and then giggled at the delightful and ticklish feeling of his mouth against the spot.  Her hands tighten a bit in his hair.

Eventually, once he’s left a decent purple mark on her neck, she tugs on his hair, pulling his lips back to hers needily.  She’s delicate as she glides over the seam of his lips with her tongue.  Richie isn’t so sweet as he gladly tangles his own tongue with hers.

When she’s the one to win the battle for dominance, she smirks against his lips.  But Richie’s quick to retaliate, turning her suddenly, and pushing her backwards until she runs into the wall.

Her lips detach from his as she grunts at the surprise contact, and her eyes shoot up to his out of annoyance.

“Jesus, fucking watch it” She mutters.

She grabs the collar of his jacket and yanks his lips back down to hers anyways, already craving more contact.

Kissing Richie Tozier is exactly as she expected, or more accurately dreamed, it would be.  Bliss.  Passionate.  Hot.

She hastily shoves his jacket down his shoulders, and then practically clawed the sleeves off of his arms.  As soon as it was discarded, his hands slammed into the wall on either side of her head, caging her in.  She loves it.

She wonders if he’s really gotten her addicted to his lips in a matter of two minutes.

After a few more kisses, she confirms that he has.

Her arms wrap around his neck and she can’t hold back a smile.

They part for a moment, and then rush to his bed.

(y/n’s) giggling as Richie crawls over her, one hand caressing her cheek while the other is pinned to the bed as not to crush her.  His thumb brushed over her cheekbone sweetly.

“You’re sure?” He asks, suddenly worried that he was rushing her.

But she nods, excitedly, and pulls his face down so she can kiss him again.

“But like-” Richie pulls away.  “You’re sure you’re sure? Like absolutely positive?”

“Richie,” She laughs, shaking her head a bit.  “Yes”

And that’s how it happened. ___

[ but i guess that’s love, i can’t pretend… i can’t pretend... ]

(y/n) had known Richie pretty much her whole life.  And they’d always gotten along, despite his big mouth and his tendency to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  She found it endearing that he would call her hot stuff and then his face would go bright red, knowing he’d made a mistake.

But the thing was, that changed the day after they’d hooked up.  They were still friends, they still hung out, and it wasn’t necessarily awkward, but it was different.  He didn’t call her cute names anymore, not even sweetheart.  He stuck solely to his nickname for her.

She wasn’t sure if it was because of their incident, or because she was seeing someone.  It often felt like she was walking on eggshells around him, unsure of what to say or do.  It was like as soon as they’d crossed the line between friends and more than friends, she wasn’t sure how to go back to being just friends.

And she hadn’t ever thought of Richie as boyfriend material.  Even when they’d hooked up, she hadn’t considered the idea of being with him romantically.  Sure, he was attractive and funny and… charismatic, exciting, and somehow tender at the same time-”

“Babe..? Babe?”

(y/n) snapped back to reality, spinning around to see her boyfriend standing behind her.  He gave a short laugh before nodding to the dish in her hand that she must have been scrubbing for a few minutes now.

“Daydreaming?” He asks, while she bashfully set the very clean plate on the counter.

“Something like that” She replied, and went on to cleaning the next dish.

They’d had a nice dinner, one they both prepared.  She thought it would be fun to cook with him, maybe they would even listen to music and dance around the tiled floor.  But her boyfriend wasn’t that kind of guy, and this wasn’t a romantic comedy.

Richie would dance in the kitchen with me-

“So!” (y/n) spoke, a little too loud as she tried to rid her own thoughts from her head.  “Movie?”

Her boyfriend grinned, and gave her a thumbs up before leaving the kitchen and heading to the living room to pick out a good movie for them to watch.

(y/n) went back to distracting herself with doing the dishes.  But her pesky thoughts kept on getting in the way of her task.

Thinking of Richie in a romantic light made her feel dazed.  He was Richie.  Trashmouth Tozier, the boy she grew up with that was infamous for trying to ride his bike off the cliffside at the quarry.  He wasn’t someone you had a crush on, he was someone you always had a dumb story about.

But besides that, it simply wasn’t fair of her to think of him this way.  They had both agreed that what they had was a one time thing, and it didn’t mean anything to either of them.  They were just friends, and that was all either of them wanted to be.

At least, that’s what she’d always told herself.

But when she thought back on last summer, all she could remember was how badly she wanted him to kiss her that whole night.  And when he finally had… it felt like she was flying.

Drying the last dish, she left it on the counter, and forced herself to relax on the couch with her boyfriend.

Whatever movie he’d picked, she’d never heard of, and it only took seven minutes of watching it for her to realize why.  It was boring.

She was so damn near close to passing out, even though he seemed excited to share it with her.

“Hey,” She hummed after half an hour of forcing herself to stay awake.  He hummed in response, but didn’t look away from the television.  

So she took matters into her own hands, and turned his head so she could kiss him.

She poured all of the passion that she could into the kiss, hoping to convey that she wanted him, and she wanted him now.

But how could she do such a thing when it wasn’t true? She simply wasn’t convincing enough.  Not to him, or herself.

Defeated, she pulled away from him, and by the look on his face, she knew that he sensed her disappointment.  Which was ironic, because he had never been in sync with her emotions in the last four and a half months they’d been together.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

There was a deep frown on her face, and her eyes were so apologetic that he just knew what was coming next.

“I’m sorry” She mumbled out.

“(y/n)...?” He was hoping that by some miracle she wasn’t about to break up with him.

“I can’t do this anymore” She finished weakly, voice cracking a bit as her throat burned with tears.

“What do you mean?” He asked.  “What’s wrong? What happened?”

She didn’t say anything, just shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to keep herself from crying.  It would be pathetic if she broke up with him and she was the one to cry about it.

“Whatever it is I can work on it, we can fix it-”

“No, you can’t-”

“Yes I can-”

“You can’t fix this!” She shouted, not meaning to come off as angry, but her emotions had flustered her and it was making her frustrated.  “Because there’s nothing to fix, there’s nothing here” She clarified, her hands flying between them.

“What do you mean there’s nothing here?” He asked, sounding broken.  For a moment, she felt bad for saying something so cruel.  “Is there someone else?”

And then her guilt disappeared.

“What? Of course not-”

“Well there- there has to be!”

“Well there isn’t!” She shouted back.  “Jesus Christ, don’t make this more difficult than it has to be,” She rolled her eyes.  “I don’t feel anything, anything, for you! I thought with time that I could learn to love you, but I haven’t.  There’s no spark-”

He seized forward, taking her face in his hands and kissing her frantically.

But just as soon as his mouth crushed over hers, she shoved his shoulders with all the force she could muster, and leapt off of the sofa.

She was stunned to silence at first, surprised that he’d done something so dramatic and… disgusting.

“I’m done,” She said, heading for the door, and putting on her shoes and coat with lightning speed.  “Don’t fucking call me- don’t talk to me at school, I’m done”

He tried to call after her, but she slammed the door behind her as she stormed out, and ran down the sidewalk, just in case he had the idiotic idea to chase after her.

She slowed at the end of the block, mentally striking herself upside the head at the thought.  Of course he wouldn't chase after her.  It would be an act of passion for him to pursue her, and he would be in denial to think he was any more in love with her than she was with him.

It dawned on her that she’d been in denial for the past four months for thinking she could learn to love him.  You can’t learn to love anybody, it has to come naturally.  And there wasn’t one natural thing about their relationship.

She wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm in the chilly december air, and walked the rest of the way home.  She’d had enough of today, and just wanted to crawl into bed, and try not to cry. ___

When the doorbell rang, Richie ignored it.  Surely his parents would get it, and he could stay in bed.

When it rang again, he shoved his pillow over his head.

It wasn’t until the third time the sound rang that he remembered his parents were at an event in Augusta tonight.

So with a groan, and the realization that whoever it was, wasn’t going to go away, he dragged himself out of bed, and down the stairs.

It was almost midnight, who the fuck was a the door? He decided if it was some freshman ding-dong ditching him, that he’d run them down and ruin their shit.

When he whipped open the door, he also opened his can of whoop ass on the unsuspecting freshman.

“Do you realize that it’s the middle of the fucking ni-”

He shut up real fast when he realized it was (y/n) standing there, who now looked incredibly taken off guard to have been greeted so harshly.

“(y/n)?”

It was only then that he realized she was crying softly.

“Oh- oh my god, I’m sorry-  I thought you were-”

“It’s fine” She said, and then sniffled quietly.

“What- what are you-”

“I’m sorry, it’s not r-right of me to show up in the middle of the night,” She whimpered a little bit, and wiped her sleeve over her cheeks to get rid of her tears.  “I should go home-”

“No,” Richie reached out, taking her wrist and tugging her inside.  “Come in, stay” He rushed the words out while shutting the door, not wanting her to leave, and especially not like this.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stop her own shivering.  She didn’t even want to look at Richie while crying, but at the same time-

“So what’s going on-?”

Before he could even finish talking, she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder.

Richie stumbled a bit from the sudden force of her hug, but wrapped his arms around her nonetheless and hugged her tightly.

It was obvious that she was trying to stop crying in front of him, but she just couldn’t help it.

“Did something happen?” He asked, but received no answer.  “Are you hurt?”

He could feel her tears seeping into the fabric of his tee shirt.

“Hey, sweetheart,” He called softly, and pulled her away to look at her.  She kept her eyes shut, which made him chuckle, but eventually she looked up at him.  “Come on, (y/n/n),” He hummed.  “Talk to me”

She took in a deep breath, and Richie mentally prepared himself for whatever was going to come next.  It must be serious if she came to him instead of Beverly, or Eddie.

“I couldn’t have sex with him” She murmured.

Richie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and confusion, and a feeling he wasn’t quite sure of.  He never would have guessed that’s what had her so distraught.

“Um…”

“I know,” (y/n) cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks again.  “It’s pathetic, I’m so pathetic!”

“(y/n),” Richie said, setting his hands on her shoulders so she would calm down.  “You’re not- where is this coming from? Why are you so upset about this?”

It took her a minute to catch her breath, and her tears hadn’t really stopped flooding, but at least she could speak again.

“I broke up with him” She admitted.

Richie’s eyes widened, and again, she’d done what he’d least expected.  Her eyes were darting between his, trying to figure out what he was thinking.  But he looked so shocked, she couldn’t tell.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” She asked in a murur, her hands resting against his chest, and her body gravitating towards his a bit more from the sensitive question.

“I…”

He was having a hard time maintaining eye contact with her, his brain moving far too fast and his train of thought going in too many different directions for him to comprehend what he even thought.

“You do, don’t you?” (y/n) asked defeatedly.  “I should’ve tried harder- maybe I could have loved him-?”

“What? (y/n), no, don’t think like that,” He scolded her gently.  “If you didn’t feel anything, then that’s it, that’s the end, it didn’t work”

She stares down at her feet.

“(y/n)...” Richie sighed, lifting her chin softly with his hand.  “Did you even like him?”

She shrugged her shoulders, which was answer enough.

“Oh, (y/n),” His thumb stroked gently against her jaw, before he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her again.  “If you didn’t like him there was never even a chance of you falling in love- that’s just not how it works sweetheart”

(y/n) grabbed the back of his shirt in her fists, just wanting to hold onto him for a few moments longer.

“How’s it work?” She mumbled into his shoulder after embracing for a few moments.

“Well first of all, you don’t learn to do it, it just happens,” He chuckles, and his hands begin to rhythmically rub her back.  “And you won’t find them boring.  That guy was a sack of fucking potatoes (y/n/n) I don’t know what you were doing with him-”

“Yeah yeah I get it,” She cut him off before he could go on.  “What else?” Her voice was so soft, so full of curiosity for where these kind words were coming from, that she just had to know what more Richie thought about the subject.

“Well…” He hummed, still rubbing her back as he thought.  “You typically enjoy their company, more than anyone else’s, even if you won’t admit it,” He was thinking out loud.  “And they’ll always be the prettiest thing in your eyes- even when they won’t stop crying all over you” He teased.

She glared up at him, and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

“Come on, be real,” She said.  “He was nice, and cute, and he really liked me, why wasn’t there a spark?”

He shook his head at her.

“Like I said.  Can’t learn to love someone, and you can’t force what isn’t there,” He shrugged.  “I’m sorry though.  You’re clearly bothered by it”

She wanted to explain that she wasn’t bothered by the breakup at all.  She was bothered by the mixup in her feelings.  By what she thought to be true- but wasn’t quite sure yet.

“You want tea? Or something?” He offered after she hadn’t spoken for a few beats.

“No,” She shook her head, and then stepped back from him.  “A blanket would be nice though? I had to walk the whole way here and it’s freezing”

Richie chuckled, and nodded.

“‘I’ll get one from upstairs.  Be right back”

He headed off rather quickly, taking the steps two at a time to get a blanket from his room.

The one time she’d stayed overnight, she’d really liked one of his- and he’d know, because she hogged it, and he had to wake her up to get her to share.  So he figured that one would do fine.

At the sound of a soft knocking at his door frame, he turned to see (y/n) standing there.

Her eyes were wandering around his room, mapping it out like it was her first time here.  However, she hadn’t been here since…

He didn’t miss the blush on her cheeks when her gaze landed on his bed, the covers messed up from his attempts to sleep earlier.  And then finally, she looked at him.

“Oh,” She smiled, and walked into the room, taking the blanket from his hands.  “You remembered” She said with a small laugh as she wrapped it tightly around herself.

It was still a little bit warmed, and smelled so distinctly like Richie, it made her want to melt into it.  And she nearly did for a moment.

“Well how could I you almost made me freeze to death that night”  He muttered teasingly.

“Fuck off, I did not” She played back, but her voice was much gentler than his.

He gave her a look as if to say ‘you did though’, which she only rolled her eyes to.

Deciding it’d be best to ignore him, she walked over to his dresser to excitedly play with his fish.  It didn’t do much, but it did swim back and forth in front of her finger, which was amusing enough.

“You… want to watch a movie?” Richie asked.

He didn’t want her to leave, but he didn’t know how to offer her to stay the night either.

“Sure” She answered, and followed him downstairs.

Richie made her pick the movie, that way whatever they watched she wouldn’t lose interest in.

“What?” She’s asked when he tried to leave the room for popcorn.

“I said pick whatever you want so you actually watch it and enjoy it” Richie repeated himself, and was in the kitchen before he could see her face change expressions.

Her heart skipped a beat in her chest, and all she could do was stare at where he stood with his back to her.  She didn’t even bother looking at his DVD collection, and followed him into the kitchen.

“You want me to pick a movie I like?” She asked him.

Richie gave her a weird look over his shoulder as she set the timer on the microwave.

“What? Yeah” He answered.

“But you’ll hate it,” She said matter-of-factly.  “It’s a chick flick, it’s real cheesy, not even Eds would watch it with me”

“Okay?” Richie repeated.  “You setting me up to hate it?”

She stared at him skeptically, and Richie had a similar look on his face, but only because he was very confused.

“Just pick a movie, (y/n/n), anyone’s fine” He chuckled.

He pulled the bag of popcorn out of the mic when it beeped, and dumped it’s contents into a large bowl.  When he turned back around, (y/n) was still standing there.  His brows furrowed, and he popped a kernel into his mouth.

“Would you dance with me?” She asked him.

Her volume was so soft he almost didn’t catch what she’d said, but when he processed the words, he was sure he’d heard her wrong.

“What?”

“Would you dance with me?” She repeated, a bit more clearly.  “If I asked?”

“Is…. that what you want to do?” Richie spoke unsurely, trying to figure out what part of the breakup process ‘dancing’ would fall under.  He shoved more popcorn into his mouth.

“I just wanna know” She shrugged.

“I mean, sure, but then the popcorn would get cold, it’s only good when it’s-”

“Richie” She mumbled, and by some miracle he actually heard her, and stopped rambling.  He knows from the way she’s staring at him, and the sudden softness in her voice that something’s up.  He waits for her to continue, but she doesn’t.

“What?” He feels like he’s lost, because he really has no idea what’s going on with her tonight.  This breakup had really thrown her for a loop, he supposed

“Nothing” She shook her head, and before he could question her about her strange behavior, snatched the popcorn bowl and made a break for the living room.

When they got settled on the sofa and the movie (y/n) picked began to play.  They were sat side by side, the bowl of popcorn separating them.  She tucked her feet up underneath her in an attempt to be more comfortable, and kept on fussing with the blanket.  It was like no matter how many times she readjusted, she just couldn’t get settled.

Eventually, she sighed, and looked over at Richie.

Low and behold, he was completely wrapped up in the plot of the movie, and hadn’t noticed a thing.  (y/n) smiled at this, loving that he’d actually gotten into her lame romantic comedy.  She leaned her head back on the cushion as she admired him.  He was so serious when he was focused on something, his jaw set in place, eyes trained on the screen.  It was so cute how drawn into the movie he really was.

Something happened that made him laugh, and he turned to (y/n) to crack a joke about it, but whatever he was about to say was lost on him when he caught her eyes already locked on him.

“Would you do it again?” She asked, before he could think of anything to say.  He doesn’t have to ask her to clarify what she means, because he knows, he can tell by the way she’s studying him.  “Ever?” She adds in a mumble after he’s been quiet for just a beat too long.

“Well, that’s a trick question now isn’t it?” He chuckles, but she shakes her head.

“No,” She speaks softly, “It’s not, I’m just wondering,”

She’s looking up at him so innocently that he wonders what sparked this question.  Not that he hadn’t been thinking about it every minute of every day for the past four and a half months or so.  He just didn’t think it ever crossed her mind.  They had sworn to each other that it was a one time thing, no pesky strings or feelings attached.  And Richie had thought she’d stuck to that promise pretty well- mostly because not a week later she’d gotten asked out, and then she dated the guy for a while.  

“There’s no wrong answer, Rich,” She giggles, a nervous little sound that was the result of her heart doing backflips in her chest.  “Really”

His eyes flicker between her impatient ones, testing to see if that were really true.

“Kind of” He says.

Her brows furrowed, signaling that there apparently was a wrong answer, and he’d said it.

“Kind of-?”

“Well, there’s a lot I’d do differently” He muses with a shrug of his shoulders, before she could get upset and ask him just what the hell ‘kind of’ means.

She angles her body a bit more towards his, waiting eagerly to hear what he has to say.  But he gives her a confused look.

“What would you do differently?” She asks.  She sounds restless, and Richie chuckles to himself.  “Come on, really”

“For starters, I wouldn’t have chosen to do it at my own houseparty.  Someone busted the coffee table you know, and I blame you for that-”

“What else?” She asks abruptly.

“Alright well,” Richie huffs, deciding there was no turning back now, because she was already more than eager to hear what he was thinking.  “Also probably should’ve been a little more sober, just a little,” She laughed quietly, but didn’t speak so that he’ll keep talking.  “And I would’ve grabbed an extra blanket, had I known you were a blanket hogger”

She laughs again, and this time he laughs with her.  It’s a sweet moment, for it being so vulnerable.

“And I would’ve made sure you didn’t go in the morning” He confesses, in the midst of their laughter.  (y/n’s) laughter stops instantaneously.

“What?” She murmurs, like she’d heard him wrong, because she must have heard him wrong.

“Yeah,” He shrugs.  “I wouldn’t have let you go”

She blinks, stunned.

“You wanted me to stay?” She asks, a sweet little whisper that was bound to make everything come crashing down.

“Of course I did,” Richie chuckles.  “I’d be an idiot to let you- I was an idiot to let you go.  I hated that feeling,”

She’s silent again, her lips parted as the more he explained himself, the more surprised she was.

“It felt like- like I’d made the biggest mistake of my life- and trust me sweetheart, sleeping with you was a miracle- but if I could do it over again I wish that I could’ve...um…”

She’s waiting, hanging on to every word he spoke.  She doesn’t realize that she’s leaning closer to him, too antsy to wait for him to find his voice.

“(y/n/n) if I’m being honest then I would’ve told you how I felt- about you- that night”

“How you felt about me?” She repeats in disbelief, and then sits upright on the couch, realizing they’re only a few inches away from one another.  

Richie watches her as she takes the popcorn bowl and sets it to the side.  And then leans back in towards him again, giving him her undivided attention.

“And how did you feel about me?” She murmurs.

Her hands set on his wrists, grasping onto them softly as his hands reach out to wrap around her waist.

“How didn’t I feel- Jesus I liked you so much I lost my fucking mind when you wanted me too”

Once he’s holding her firmly, she lets go of his hands to rest her palms on his shoulders, tilting up towards him to be more at his height.  Even sat on the couch Richie practically towered over her.

“I didn’t know it was more to you than a quick fuck” She hums.  Her voice is too sweet to be saying something so filthy, and it makes him chuckle just a bit.

He couldn’t help but tug her hips forwards, small prod really, but she took the bait and swung her leg over his lap.

“There was nothing quick about it sweetheart,” He teases, and as she situates herself on his lap, he releases one of his hands from her waist to gently trail his fingers over her throat, until his hand settles against the side of her neck.  She’s blushing, but she’s smiling with anticipation.

He pulls her towards him a bit, and the tip of her nose presses against his cheek, her lips barely ghosting his.  When her eyes flickered shut, Richie smirks

“And you were never a quick fuck”

She leans in, wanting nothing more than to kiss him and never stop.  There was more electricity between them in this moment than she’d ever felt with her ex, and the realization made her feel like she was alive again.

Just as her moment of liberation is about to happen, the doorbell rings.

Richie brushes it off and cups her cheek, leaning in to kiss her anyways, but then his visitor started screaming.

“Richiieeee!” The distinct voice of Eddie Kaspbrack rings out from the other side of the door.  “Dude! Open up! I got some drama for you!”

Richie and (y/n) turn to look at each other, equally confused.

“Let’s just pretend he’s not there” Richie says, making her giggle as he finally tries to kiss her.

And then Eddie lets himself in.

“I’m coming in!” He announces, and shuts the door behind him.  “You’re not gonna believe this! (y/n) broke up with-”

It doesn’t surprise the couple on the couch when Eddie stops talking, and stares wide eyed and open mouthed.

“What the fuck is going on here!?” He’s screaming, which also isn’t a surprise, but it’s very upsetting.

(y/n) calmly slides off of Richie’s lap, and he lets go of his hold on her.

“Nothing” They say at the same time, unconvincingly.

“You were on his lap-” Eddie accuses.

“I-”

“You were kissing-!”

“No-?” Richie tries.

“You guys have been fucking this whole time!” He screeches.

“No!” Richie and (y/n) speak simultaneously again.

“Wait,” (y/n) walks over to Eddie.  “How did you know I broke up with-”

“He called me” Eddie shrugged.

“What?”

“Yeah, he was trying to call you, but you never picked up.  Clearly you weren’t home, because you were here, letting Richie get in your pants- jesus fuck (y/n) I thought you had better standards-”

“Stop it” (y/n) hissed, before frustratedly running her hands through her hair.

Richie shot up from the couch, walking over in hopes of convincing her to sit back down and relax again.  But she shrugged off his hand and continued to pace around between him and Eddie.

“Very uncool, dickwad” Richie muttered to Eddie, who gave him an exasperated look and flipped him off.

“Why’d you come here then?” (y/n) spoke up.

“Um… huh?” Eddie played stupid.

“Why’d you come here? If my ex called you looking for me, why’d you come to tell Richie the news?”

Eddie and Richie shared a look, only making the girl more confused.

“I- well I thought you’d be here, you know, for support-”

Eddie shut up when the girl narrowed her eyes in disbelief.  He was never a good liar, and (y/n) had a pretty good bullshit detector.

“This isn’t important,” Eddie shook his head.  “What’s important is that he’s heartbroken, and looking for y-”

“I don’t care,” (y/n) said with a humorless chuckle as she crossed her arms over her chest.  “I don’t fucking care! He’s the worst, and he’s insane to think that he was ever in love with me.  Had a real boring way of expressing it-”

“Uh, I’m not here to tell you to get back together with him” Eddie said before she could yell anymore.

“What are you here for, then?” (y/n) asked.

“I could ask you the same thing” Eddie shoots back, and smirks victoriously between the two.

Richie’s just standing there, knowing better than to open his mouth.  If he did, something bad would slip and he knew it, so he stared down at the ground.

(y/n) puckers her lips, casting a glance to Rich before back to Eddie.

“Well?” The asthmatic boy asks.  “What the fuck were you guys up to?”

“None of your business,” Richie says before (y/n) has the chance to say anything.  “You should go, Eds, I’ll call you tomorrow.  We’re busy”

“With what?” Eddie’s practically daring Richie to confess.

“We’re watching a movie, don’t make me fucking kick you out”

Eddie rolls his eyes, bored with the lack of drama, and then heads for the door.

As soon as he closes it, he whips it open again, pointing an accusatory finger at the pair left standing there, as if he’d caught them in the act.

“Go, Eds” They both say, with the utmost annoyance in their voices.

This time when he left, they both watched the door, as if waiting for him to jump back into the room again.  When it was clear he’d actually gone this time, (y/n) let out a sigh of relief.

She looked at Richie, and then back to the couch, where the movie, the popcorn bowl, and her blanket were left unattended.

“I should probably g-”

“You wanna stay the night?” Richie asked before she could finish her sentence, and her eyes shot up to his.

“Really?” She asked in disbelief.

Richie just nodded, and so she hesitantly nodded back.

“Okay” She agreed softly.

“I’ll find something for you to sleep in,” He told her.  “You can finish the movie if you want” And with that he headed up the stairs.

At this point, she was more confused than ever.  She had no idea where her and Richie stood now, the line between friendship and something… else… was so warped in her mind that she couldn’t tell how he felt anymore.

Richie came back down a few minutes later, finding her sat on the couch with the movie paused and the popcorn bowl in her lap.  He grinned as he handed her a long sleeved shirt and a pair of sweatpants that looked very soft.

After changing quickly in the bathroom, she concluded they were the coziest things she’d ever worn.  And Richie’s scent and laundry detergent lingered in them, making every inhale of breath she took be inviting.

When she came back out, Richie was on the couch, just waiting.  His back was turned to her, and she could tell he was drumming his hands on his legs, a frequently done nervous habit of his.

She stood there for a moment, too anxious to walk over and sit with him like nothing had happened in the last half hour.  Even though with everything that’s happened, her heart was beating a mile a minute with no end in sight.

Richie must’ve realized she was there, because he turned and made a face as if to ask why she was just standing there.

His expression softened though when his eyes landed on her figure.  She looked so goddamn cute in his clothes that were just a bit too big for her.  And by just a bit, I mean the sleeves kept falling over her hands and the waistband of the sweatpants had probably been rolled three times to keep the fabric from barely touching the ground.

He thought he was gonna have a stroke.

“You gonna come sit, sweetheart?” He finally spoke, “Or just stand there and look pretty all night?”

She laughs, and the tension in the room thins out a little as she makes her way over to sit with him again.  Richie plays the movie again, and just like before, gets sucked right into it.

(y/n) sort of watches it, but has little attachment to what’s going on.  Her mind is too busy processing everything, there was no capacity to keep an eye on a film as well.

The popcorn bowl is empty, so she can’t distract herself with eating.  And she’s already tapping her fingers on her knee to a made up beat in her mind.  How Richie is able to actually watch this movie right now is beyond her.

“(y/n)?” He asks, and she realizes he’s been staring at her for a while, trying to get her attention.  She hums in response.  “Do you want me to shut off the movie?”

Her eyes are wide as they meet his.

“W-why?” She stammers out.

“Because you aren’t paying attention at all,” He chuckles.  “Are you tired? It is like… one in the morning”

“Uh- yeah, I-I guess” She stumbles over her words again, and balls up the fabric of her blanket in her hands.

He gives her a dorky little smile, and then stands to turn off the tv.  She watches him grab the empty bowl before leaving the room.

She gets up to follow him into the kitchen, but he waved her off.

“You should go up to bed,” He says.  “I’ll finish up down here”

She doesn’t know what else to say, so she follows the instructions.

It dawns on her that she hasn’t told her parents that she won’t be coming home tonight, but as she gets situated in Richie’s bed with her new favorite blanket, she just can’t seem to care.  She decides a lecture when she comes home tomorrow is worth it.

She’s under all the covers, and her face is buried deep into a pillow when Richie finally comes up.  He smirks at how settled she’s already gotten.

“You sleeping already?” He asks quietly, and her eyes open to smile at him.

“No, ‘m waiting” She hums, before snuggling her face back into her pillow.

“Waiting?” He asks, and walks closer to hear her better.

“Mhm”

“For… Santa?”

“For you, dummy,” She giggles softly, and then makes a grabby hand towards him.  “Hurry up”

He laughs, and shakes his head at her, before kneeling onto the bed.

“I kinda thought I should sleep on the-”

“In here,” She whispers, hand finding his wrist and latching onto it.  “With me, please” She adds in a much softer voice, like she’s embarrassed to ask, and he knows that she is.

“Okay…” Richie hesitantly gets under the covers.  “As long as that doesn’t bother you”

“It didn’t before” She replies casually.

Her eyes are closed, but he smiles warmly at the comment.  He thinks she’s falling asleep, but he was wrong, because her hand trailed from his wrist so that her fingertips were pressed into his palm.

“Richie?” She calls quietly.

He hums.

Her eyes open, and she squirms a little closer to him, finding comfort in the heat he radiated.

Her fingers slot into the spaces between his perfectly, and she grasps his hand tight.

“You weren’t a quick fuck for me either,” She admits gently.

He can see in her eyes that she’s uncertain, that she’s nervous to say anything, so he squeezes her hand to reassure her that she can tell him anything.

“And I wanted you long before that night, I just… um…” She licks her lips anxiously before continuing.  “I didn’t think that you uh… actually wanted me, you know, like, more than…” She doesn’t finish her thought, but she doesn’t have to.

Richie gives her a smile, and then reaches his free hand out to brush his knuckles over her cheek.  She smiles back at the comforting touch.

“You’ll stay in the morning?” He whispers, and she nods, brows drawn together as her smile widens.  “Good” He breathes out in relief.

They lean in simultaneously, and their lips touch in a soft and sweet kiss.  (y/n) relishes in how her lips seemed to have his committed to memory, and she melts against him once again.

She pushes forward so that her body is flush against his, and her free hand is holding his shirt in a fist.  She’s filled with more love and lust and happiness that a girl can be, practically overflowing with it, even.

Richie pulls away too soon for her liking, tucking a strand of her hair back behind her ear tenderly before meeting her gaze.

“If anyone asks,” He tells her, “That was our first kiss”

(y/n) giggles, and nods her head before kissing him sweetly again.

“Okay” She agrees.

His fingers comb through her hair for a few moments, and he contemplates laying here, like this, with her, for the rest of his life.  The quiet moment is so serene, so perfect, that he can’t imagine ever being happier than he is right now.

(y/n) whispers something, but it’s so soft that he only catches her lips moving.

“What?” He muses, and instantly there’s a pink blush blooming across her cheeks.  “What?” He asks again, this time chuckling at her bashfulness.

“I love you…” She murmurs, only darkening her blush.

Richie pulls her into his chest, wrapping her up in his arms as he cradles her close for the night.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” He responds with a kiss to the top of her head.  “Let’s do it right this time, okay?”

“M’kay” She hums back delightedly, already beginning to fall asleep in his arms.

It took months of agony and confusion to get here, but it couldn’t be clearer now.  This is what love was supposed to feel like.  She hadn’t learned to love before because that’s simply not how it works.  Her heart already belonged to someone else, and she hardly even knew it.  But now, it and she were all his, and he’d take good care of them.

[ i guess that’s love, i can’t pretend. ]

___

taglist: @fiantomartell​ @lemonypink @darling-egg​​

xoxo ~ jordie

[chalcid]

9: Follow the Swords (Disappear

I was solid, again, I think. The world still resembled an abstract painting I made in third grade, but I staggered to my feet. Wild Magic was like the worst amusement park ride ever, but it has sure helped me appreciate the feeling of my boots on the ground.

As the world began to stop swirling and churning before my eyes, I could make out Edonia and Kev.

"You weren't there before," I think Edonia said. It was hard to tell in this dreamy state.

"Hey guys," I said weakly "So, I just had a really bizarre encounter with the guitarist from Thordis's band and I think we're supposed to follow the swords."

"Swords?" Kev asked "A guitarist? What?"

"Hang on," Edonia said "How do we know you're the real Merika?"

"Test me."

"How do you classify any objects you find when you're not sure where it's from or  what it is."

"Usually by whatever's going on in my life at the time, along with relevant information, like the School Dance Vase or the Unit 3 half a pot," I replied.

"It's her," Edonia said to Kev.

Kev hugged me tightly. "I'm glad you are okay."

"Me too," I replied.

"Look," Kev said "Swords. We should follow those right?"

"Yeah," I confirmed.

Swords, heavily rusted from who knows how many years of rain were stuck blade first into the ground like they were garden lights. It was almost annoying how painfully obvious it was.

We had wandered the woods for several hours. I was absolutely soaked to the bone, although the rain had stopped. Curse my arrogance. Umbrellas, as it turned out, were not for the weak but for the clever, and oh, what a fool I was.

"Kev," I said, "If anyone ever offers to teleport you with Wild Magic, ask them for a map instead."

"I will."

We plodded on a bit longer.

"End of the line," Edonia said, holding her arm out to bring us to a halt. "There are no more swords."

I glanced at the swords, and then glanced up. There was a curtain of ivy concealing the ruins at the end of the path.

"Open the ivy-curtain," I mumbled, sitting down on a tree stump. "I need to sit for a moment."

"Okay," Edonia said. She glanced at me, and then at the ivy-curtain. "You don't think that the... the spirit who told you all this was lying? This could very well be a trap."

"I know them," I said "I mean, I met them once, and they didn't say anything to me, but they seem cool."

"Did they ask for something in return?" Edonia fretted "What did you promise them?"

"Just that I would buy them some coffee. They get to choose when and where, though."

Edonia relaxed "Then we probably won't die walking into here. You two wait here, I'll scout ahead."

She parted the ivy-curtain and disappeared inside.

"It's past my bedtime," Kev said, moving to stand beside me. "Our family must be super worried."

I chuckled bitterly "You're a good kid, Kev. I'm so sorry I dragged you all the way out here."

"I didn't want you to be lost and far away from home all alone," Kev said, touching my arm.

"I should have been firmer. I should have lied," I buried my head in my hands "I do reckless, stupid stuff all the time and everyone's used to me just... running off. Disappearing. I shouldn't have let you come with me."

"You'd be out here with just Edonia," Kev argued.

"So what? Eddy is an absolute wizard and she knows all kinds of cool things and she's got her life put together."

"You're my sister," Kev said "Sisters are there for each other, right?"

I sighed deeply "This isn't you keeping me out of trouble. This is me dragging you right into it."

Kev didn't answer that.

Edonia poked her head out of the ivy "Okay, it's safe."

"Wait," I said "What did I get you for your last birthday?"

"A pocket watch from an Asterellan shipwreck with amethysts," Edonia replied.

"Okay, it's her," I said mostly to myself. "Let's go check out these ruins already.

I pulled open the ivy curtain "After you,"

Something echoed back "No, after you."

The ruins were absolutely creepy. I mean, the whole woods were creepy, sure, but the village was a completely different kind of creepy. I expected it to be like the rest of the woods with the black and red trees and bones and swords and things whispering about you in the shadows.

Here, there was grass, good old green grass poking up from the dirt. The trees were cleared in an almost perfect circle. The actual village had been sunk into the mud, leaving only the crooked tops of the buildings. The only structure left untouched was a tower on the opposite side of the woods.

"I don't think we should try and go into any of the houses," I informed Edonia. She nodded in agreement.

"Anything interesting has got to be covered in mud," Edonia sighed "If it wasn't so dangerous, maybe we could excavate the place, but..."

"Let the past be buried this time. Cheer up, there might be something cool in the tower," I said. I paused "Actually, everyone, take a turn-back-check. It's here, we saw it," I fumbled with my phone and snapped a few pictures "And now we have photos. So, at this point, it technically wouldn't be a loss if we went home."

"Let's check out the tower and then head home," Edonia said "This is the only chance to explore here we've got."

I glanced up at the stars in the sky "We could come back when it's daytime."

"No, we should see this through," Kev said.

"Curses. I hate it when I'm the sensible one. Alright, let's go check out this tower, but there has to be something cool I can bring home or I'm going to scream."

"Sounds fair," Edonia said "Just don't scream while we're here, or the Calandra Deer might mistake you for a mate."

The thought generated a large amount of yikes.

Runes were gouged in the tower's wood. I squinted at them. Yep, that wasn't written in a language I could understand. They did look vaguely similar to the runes on Deyanira's skin, though. The same language maybe? I took a picture.

Edonia pushed the door open, and we stepped into the tower. She turned on her flashlight and begun swinging the light back and forth.

"Wait," I said.

She froze.

"Up and to the right a little."

The light hit a mural. I took a picture.

"The Calandra Deer," Kev said, touching the paint carefully "And the village."

It was a gruesome painting. People screaming. Blood everywhere. Calandra Deer with arms and legs in their mouths. But...

"Did someone just... stop and paint everything in detail while everyone else was packing up," I questioned. "Edonia, to the right, please."

Another mural. Fire raining from the sky while ships sailed away. The castle looked like the old Mariveyan one in pictures, but the Bazflamep flag was raised. Ships were sailing away.

"This would be the war," I said.

"But that would have been hundreds of years after anyone lived here," Edonia said. The light fell on the third mural.

"And I have no idea what this is," I declared.

There were a group of singers in a circle, heads bowed. In the background, there were more people playing instruments, a couple with swords, and plenty of people using various water magics. A stormy sea with waves ten times as tall as them, at least. And a water demon with a crown and some sort of weird blue lightning.

Wait. That wasn't lightning, it was the barrier.

The barrier cracking.

"This is weird," I announced "How could anyone have known anyone about this."

"Let's search the place," Edonia suggested. "Maybe the resident kept a diary?"

She shone the flashlight around the room, while Kev and I checked under things and on top of things.

"Nothing in here," Kev declared.

"Let's check upstairs then," Edonia decided.

"Watch your step," I warned Kev "Old staircase are rarely stable."

Luckily, we made it up the steps without incident. And... jackpot! A desk.

"Logical place to keep a diary, right," I said, gesturing to the desk.

"Maybe a bit obvious," Kev said skeptically.

"Maybe. But let's check anyway," I said.

Edonia passed Kev the flashlight and opened the drawers. "Nothing... wait, no, I spoke too soon," she pulled out a book and held it aloft like a divine scroll of knowledge. "This is it. I hope."

Something thumped, and we all jumped.

"Hey, let's get out of here," Kev suggested.

"Fully agreed," I said. I glanced at a table "Ooh, shiny. Could I take this with me?" I asked, pocketing a ring of some sort.

"Sure. Let's just get home. My family must be terribly worried," Edonia fretted.

"Ours too," Kev said.

We all glanced at each other. There was another thump.

We sprinted for the door, slammed it shut, and raced back into the woods proper. The heavy rain had returned, so did my terror.

"Keep the flashlight on," I suggested "Maybe it could scare off predators? We could link hands, too, so as not to get separated again."

"Smart," Kev said.

I grabbed Edonia's hand and Kev grabbed mine and we all stumbled through the woods until we found a road.

"Oh thank the stars," Edonia said, collapsing into the roadside grass. "I'm never doing that again. But we've got the diary, and we can read it together tomorrow after school."

"Sounds great," I said, patting the pocket with the diary and the ring to make sure they were still there. "I'm going to call a ride home."

I dialed Uncle Decimus. He picked up almost immediately.

"Merika? Are you hurt? It's two in the morning, what happened?"

"Uncle Decimus, I'm somewhere outside Bramble Woods. I'm not sure where. I need a ride, but I'm not alone."

"What?" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, that came out confusing. I set out on what I thought would be a fun adventure in the rain this afternoon and then it went downhill. My friends and I, we found the road though. We're scared, please come and get us."

"I'm on my way," he declared.

"Okay, Uncle Decimus is coming to pick us up," I announced "Let's just sit tight for now."

It started raining even harder. Kev whistled quietly to herself. I vaguely recognized the tune as a theme song to something Lawrence watched.

I spotted a car zooming down the road at ten above the speed limit and pointed "I think that's him!"

The driver rolled down the window, and it was, in fact, Uncle Decimus.

"Merika," he shouted.

I waved, and he parked the car next to us. "Oh, you girls look so pale... No wait, you might just be naturally pasty, but Merika, you shouldn't be that color. You're halfway dead."

He paused his speech to embrace me only to pull away and mutter something like "So cold."

"Thank you, Mr. Saltwaters," Edonia said politely.

"Yeah, thanks," Kev piped up.

Uncle Decimus rubbed his eyes and stared at her "You're a child. Why is this child accompanying you on a dangerous quest."

"She invoked my emotional weakness and I couldn't say no," I mumbled "Never again."

"Never again is right. Get in the car, kids, I'll take you wherever you need to go."

"Thank you," Edonia said again. She glanced at me "Should we test to make sure it's really him?"

"Nah," I decided "He didn't come from the woods."

"What?" Uncle Decimus asked.

"Wild magic," I spread my arms "It's real. I'll tell you more about it on the ride home."

Uncle Decimus opened the the door, and Edonia and Kev moved the window shield to squeeze into the backseat.

I plopped down next to them, and to home we rode.

[yikestripes]

Dancing in the dark

request: Hi! Can I request a Bill denbrough x reader? Where Bill and the reader is secretly dating. and the Losers plan on having a sleepover at Bills house. so when everyone shows up The reader is already there. and She’s cuddling on the couch with Bill and wearing his clothes. and the Losers walk in on them kissing and they get all nervous and say something stupid like "I was choking and Bill was helping me" and Richie’s like "by sucking off your face?" And just really funny and fluffy?

A/N: here you go, @you-s-suckbowers​ !!! i hope it’s what you had in mind when you requested!! this was s o fun to write! this was such a cute request i hope you like it!!

You raised your fist to knock on the door of the Denbrough’s house, but Bill opened the door before you had the chance, greeting you with a warm smile.

“Hi.” He said, opening the door to let you in.

“Hi.” You grinned.

“Can I take your bag?” He asked, taking it without waiting for an answer. You placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and followed him down to the basement. Bill placed your bag in a nearby corner, wandering over to the snack table to steal a few chips. You wrapped your arms around him, and let your head come to rest on his back. You felt his laugh reverberating as he turned around to give you a proper hug. These were the most special moments you had with Bill, because you could actually act like a couple. Around your friends, you had to keep up the facade of being just friends. You and Bill had agreed, at least for the time being, to keep your relationship a secret. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell your friends, or didn’t want there to be a hundred questions, or even meddling in your relationship. There had been plenty of that anyway, when you’d both spent years pining after one another. You just wanted to keep it special, something small just for yourselves. To keep the magic and the fun of sneaking around alive for just a little bit longer.

“What time is everyone supposed to get here?” You asked, taking a step away from Bill to grab some pretzels.

“Around 7:30, so about 20 minutes.” Bill checked his watch and glanced up at you, munching thoughtfully on pretzels.

You took a sip of your water bottle and looked at Bill, thinking, as he walked around making sure everything was good to go for the losers’ sleepover party. You’d just come from your waitressing job and hadn’t had time to pack spare clothes since you were running late, and your movement reminded you you were still wearing your entire uniform, including your apron.

You began by taking off your apron and placing it with your stuff, and looking to Bill.

“Mind if I steal some stuff?” You asked, batting your eyes, despite knowing he would say yes regardless.

Bill smiled, grabbed your hand, and led you upstairs to his room.

“Sweatpants and a sweatshirt?” Bill asked as you entered, immediately flopping onto his bed.

“You know me so well!” You said with a small laugh. He grabbed the garments and tossed them your way, waiting for you to finish changing before heading back downstairs with you, hand in hand.

You went back into the basement and grinned at Bill, wiggling your eyebrows as you headed towards your stuff.

He watched as you bent over, packing your work uniform back into your backpack. Primarily, he was definitely staring at your ass. That was one of his favorite things about you; your ass. As soon as you stood back up and turned around, Bill strode over to you and put his hands on the sides of your face, and locked you in a sweet kiss.

You heard footsteps overhead as you broke away from Bill, signaling for him to check his watch. It was 7:30 on the dot, and that meant that the Loser’s were probably bombarding the foyer. You ran upstairs behind Bill, only to find half of the Loser’s standing there awkwardly, presumably waiting for Bill to guide them downstairs.

You were the last one into the basement, shutting the door behind you, bathed in darkness. You ran down the stairs to catch up with the others and back into the light. Despite being above the age of 10, the dark still freaked you out a bit, especially after the encounter with Pennywise years ago.

Bev put her stuff near yours, and joined you near the drink table, where you stood sipping on more water.

“What time did you get here?” Bev asked, pouring herself some Pepsi.

“I don’t know, like 7 something?” You said absentmindedly staring at Bill, who was arguing about movies with Richie across the room.

“Oh wow, why were you here so early? Trying to sneak in some makeout time with Big Bill?” Bev nudged your ribs, knowing about your former crush on Bill.

“HA, nope. I was just helping him set up.” You lied.

“Oh come on, (Y/N)! You were in love with him for YEARS!” She said as you tried to quiet her down, afraid the others would hear. Despite obviously already dating him, the others never really knew about your feelings for Bill. Besides your sometimes obvious pining, and long sideways glances, they’d never heard directly from your mouth that you felt anything beyond friendship for Bill, other than Beverly. The boys, of course, had heard it from Bill’s side, who fell for you as soon as you met when you were 7 and had just moved to Derry.

Bill saw you staring and grinned, losing focus on Richie and the debate of choosing a movie.

You turned your attention back to Beverly, who was now paying attention to the movie argument happening across the room.

“Come on, let’s watch The Shining! I love that movie!” Richie said, holding up the tape.

“Ugh, that’s so scary though!” Stanley said, folding his arms.

“That’s the point, Stanely! None of us are afraid of a fuckin’ movie.” Richie rolled his eyes and Stan huffed, taking a spot next to Ben on the couch.

“What about Beetlejuice?” Bev suggested.

“Or how about Ferris Bueller?”

“Ooh! The Goonies!”

The debate went on until there was another knock at the door, and Bill ran to grab it.

“I vote The Shining.” You said, taking your place on the couch opposite the other couch.

“See?” Richie cried, grinning.

Footsteps filled the room, and Mike and Eddie filed in behind Bill.

“Are we choosing a movie?” Eddie asked, plopping 2 duffle bags next to the tv. “I think we should watch something that isn’t too scary, I get nightmares from scary movies.”

“What’s in the duffle bags, Eds? All your birth control?” Richie asked, wearing his signature shit-eating grin.

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“No, fuckface. They’re vitamins so I don’t catch any diseases from being around you!” Eddie retorted. The two bickered back and forth until you were all fed up, and decided to vote on the movie.

Despite Eddie and Stan’s protests, you all had democratically settled on watching The Shining.

You were next to Bill on the couch, and without thinking, cuddled into his side. Every time there was a jumpscare, he would hold you a little bit tighter, pausing to rub your shoulder or smile down at you, so invested in the film.

The other Losers, on the other hand, shared confused looks. Beverly noticed right away you were wearing Bill’s sweatshirt, but that wasn’t entirely abnormal, considering you were always complaining about being cold. She attested the same to your wearing his sweatpants too, but was somewhat suspicious. Richie was too invested in the movie to care, and Eddie was too busy complaining to notice anything out of the ordinary. The other Losers continued to share strange looks, especially those on the couch adjacent to the one you were laying on with Bill. Stanley looked at Ben, who simply shrugged his shoulders and stared at Bev, laying on the floor beside Richie.

No one said anything to either of you for the rest of the movie, pausing in between for bathroom and snack breaks. You’d all stood up after the movie, stretched a little, and decided to get the party goin’ a little bit harder.

“What do you loser’s say we play a game?” Bev suggested, a wicked grin crossing her face. She looked at you and wiggled her eyebrows, causing your eyes to widen. You could tell exactly what she was thinking, and she knew it too. She had every intention to “set up” you and Bill.

There weren’t many protests, outside of those from Stanley and Eddie, although they went mostly ignored.

“I declare 7 minutes in Heaven!” Richie said. You shared a look with Bill, him smiling as if to tell you everything was going to be fine. He sat across from you in the circle, almost ensuring if someone was going to get picked, it would be you two. Bev placed an empty bottle in the center of the circle, and let it go until it stopped on her and Ben. Her eyes widened, the plan obviously not working the way she thought it was going to, and Ben’s face was brighter than a ripe tomato.

“Come on Bev, it’ll be FUN!” You winked at her as she glared, visibly nervous.

You followed behind them to make sure they were going to stay in there for the full 7 minutes, followed shortly after by Bill, “for the use of his watch” as he had told the others.

You had left Bev and Ben to their own devices in the closet, following Bill to a similarly secluded area of his basement where the Losers’ couldn’t see them from the sitting area Bill had fashioned.

You stood behind a mattress, which also blocked your view of the Losers’. They seemed fine to be left alone for the time being, somewhat monitoring the time for Bev and Ben. Bill pulled you closer to him, and pressed a passionate kiss to your soft lips. You melted into the kiss and sighed contently, pulling him in a bit closer by his hips. He groaned quietly into your mouth, which made you grin. Driving Bill wild was one of your specialties, and you both loved it.

A few minutes had passed when Bill broke to check his watch, when Ben and Beverly still had about 4 minutes remaining in the closet. Bill raised his hands to your face again and kissed you harder, using his tongue to gain access to your now open mouth. This made you lose your mind a little bit, completely distracting you from listening for potential spies coming to check on you guys.

“What the FUCK!” You heard Richie yell, inciting the others to come running, besides Ben and Bev. You and Bill immediately broke apart, jumping away from each other, startled.

“What the fuck was that?” Richie asked, adjusting his glasses in the dim light.

“Uh, (Y/N) was choking! I was saving her.” Bill explained quickly, a blush rising to his cheeks.

“By sucking her face off?” Richie looked incredulous, obviously not believing Bill’s lie.

“Yeah, I was choking on pretzels.” You said.

The loser’s looked at you suspiciously, not quite believing you.

“You’re telling us that you were saving her from choking, by sucking on her face?” Stanley asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah.” You and Bill said in unison.

“Then why is (Y/N) wearing your clothes? And why was she cuddling with you like that?” Eddie pressed.

“Oh look at the time, 7 minutes are up!” Bill said, walking towards the closet, knocking a few times.

Ben and Beverly emerged, tension immediately filled the room. Their lips were both more red than before, and Ben looked happier than he ever had before. Bev immediately came to your side, already ready to gossip about what happened, shoving Richie’s head away when he tried to listen in.

“Come on, I wanna know what the FUCK happened in that closet that Haystack looks happier than a pig in shit!” Richie cried.

A blush rose to Ben’s cheeks again as he shook his head as Mike grinned at him, knowingly.

Your moment with Bill was momentarily forgotten by the Losers as they walked back to the sitting area, Bill pulling you in for a quick kiss.

“That was a close one.” Bill sighed, rubbing his thumb across your cheek.

“Well, we knew we couldn’t sneak around forever.”

“Yeah, you have a good point. Oh well.” You rejoined the Losers, hand in hand, everyone slowly realizing and shouting out different things.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

“Wow, way to tell your best friend!”

“Huh. Never would’ve seen that coming.”

“You guys are so cute together.”

It went on like that for the rest of the night. A mix of “I told you so”’s, exchanging of money from various bets the other Loser’s had placed on you guys, and congratulations from all. They were all excited for you guys, of course. They all knew that you would end up together eventually.

[bonafidehero]

Bella the Teenage Witch

Summary: What if Bella Swan was a witch? Taking advanced classes, Bella graduates from Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry early. With her mother and Phil traveling so much she decides to move to the sleepy town of Forks and spend some time with her father, who insisted on her attending the local high school to make some “normal” friends. Oh how wrong he would be.

Read on AO3 and FanFiction!

Chapter 12: The Damnation of Bella Swan.

The drive home from school after the field trip was interesting. Alice was ecstatic for us to be friends with Bella finally. Jasper, wary but happy that Alice was happy. Emmett, amused and slightly intrigued and then Rosalie was infuriated, she could not see past the dangers of involving a human in our lives.

And I couldn't say I blamed her, although, I didn't enjoy the way she expressed her views of Bella.

It was risky,

stupid.

I should stop,

I was a monster,

a nightmare.

Allowing myself to cure this insatiable desire, to get closer to her, what did it mean for her? What did it mean for me? My family? Why was I such a selfish creatures? I could not diminish my curiosity and attraction to her; and strangely, my bloodlust had nothing to do with that attraction.

I'd never felt this way about anyone and that scared the shit out of me.

“I can't believe you, Edward.” Rose barked from the back seat, “Why are you getting close to this human? Don't you care about our family at all?”

“She gave me her number, Rose, I didn't do anything.”

“Yeah,” Rose huffed, “Sure.”

“Awh, Rosie, let it go.” Emmett trilled, “Think about how fun it will be to watch Ed crash and burn, once the human girl realizes what a mess he is.”

“Thanks, Emmett.” I laughed darkly.

“So our little Eddie really does have some game?” Emmett chuckled, ignoring me and turning to Alice, “How was the show Alice? Would he make you swoon?”

Alice beamed, “He did quite well, stopped being inside his head so much! Showed Bella who he really is, without all the melodrama.”

“Is that possible?” Emmett scoffed, “Good job, Ed, maybe you wont actually be alone for all eternity!”

I growled, even as my heart fluttered. I liked the sound of that too much. “It's not like that, Emmett.” I shot him a glare in the rear view mirror, “And I will not allow it to end that way.”

“Oh lighten up, kid!” Emmett rolled his eyes and threw his arm around Rose; who still sat stone cold with a glare, “It was a joke.”

You know there are only two outcomes and I would like the one where Bella is my sister!

“Alice, the future changes all the time, it wont end like that.” I wont allow it.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her chest and humphed loudly, “Fine, keep fighting it, you'll see.” She stared moodily out the window all the way home.

I spent the night in my room, looking through Bella's book as I waited for Carlisle to get home from the hospital. The book had a myriad of creatures and elucidations of them; the areas of the world they lived, their behaviors, diets and nearly anything you'd need to know. I couldn't see how this book wasn't based on actual knowledge and experience. It read like a text book, something meant to be picked up when you needed clarification on something. Something you learned from, but how could that be? Was it really possible that magic was real? That Bella was a witch?

I shouldn't be surprised, we existed and some of our kind even held abilities that some would say was like magic. So why was it so hard for me to believe that Bella Swan wasn't just Forks Chief of Police reunited daughter?

And if she was a witch, would she be okay with being around a vampire? Dating one? Probably not, who would? Why would anyone choose a vampire for a boyfriend over a human?

I needed to stop thinking like that, that was a dangerous path to continue down.

I found the page on Thunderbird's, just as I had planned earlier and it offered compelling information. The creature was a large golden avian beast native to North America, specifically Arizona. It had the ability to create storms as it flew over the land, which sounded insane. How did no one notice such a enormous creature flying around the deserts of Arizona? The concept seemed so bizarre to me.

I heard Carlisles thoughts before I heard his car, he was thinking about home, Esme, how much he looked forward to relaxing with a book. I hoped he'd have new information for me, had he heard anything back? Last I'd asked he didn't seem confident he'd find any answers, most the avenues he'd gone down so far lead to nothing.

I waited for Esme to welcome Carlisle home and gave them a moment of privacy as they embraced and spoke of their days. Then I appeared at the stairs, they both looked towards me before Carlisle nodded and made his way up as well.

We did not speak until we were both seated in his office. Him behind his mahogany desk and I in the armchair opposite him; just as we were the night we'd first talked of Bella.

“Anything new?” I asked, finally breaking the silence.

Carlisle leaned back in his chair and looked at me, his thoughts flickering through all the correspondence he'd had on this subject. “Unfortunately, nothing helpful. Everyone I've spoken to has not given me anything interesting or downright refused to speak of the subject. Even Aro seemed vexed by my inquiries.”

“Why?” I asked as I cocked my head.

Carlisle pressed his lips together, “I am not sure, he was very short in his letter... dismissive.” he sighed, and then raised his eyebrows at me.

“Do you think their dismissal of such a conversation is evidence of it's possibility?”

He nodded his head thoughtfully, “It is possible, Aro especially has always keep tight lipped on things he deems unworthy to certain individuals. If he thought it important for you to know something, you would.”

“But how is this not important!” I groaned

“Maybe we are not meant to know.” Carlisle said thoughtfully.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe there are reasons we don't know,” Carlisle leaned forward and looked intently across the desk at me, “maybe there are things keeping us from knowing.”

I stared back at him, confused, what was he trying to say?

If we have laws, Edward, maybe they do to.

“What do you mean? So you really think she is a witch? And they have, what, a government?”

“I don't know anything about the girl, but, what you've told me is thought-provoking. I do not think it is absurd for us to assume there are things in this world we do not know or understand.”

We sat in silence for a while thinking to ourselves, as we tended to do when in each others company. I could hear the rest of my family downstairs all partaking in their own activities but I knew they could hear every word spoken and was listening.

“So, what do you think I should do?” I finally asked, “Just... let things play out?”

Carlisle nodded, “Yes, I think you should allow her the opportunity to tell you. If what Alice sees in her future is to become true, then I daresay we will know the answer one day.”

I growled and gripped the fabric of the chair, it whined under my grip. “I do not want that to happen.”

Carlisle eyes softened and he said quietly, “I know, son, but you know how accurate Alice's visions can be... we must accept the possibility.”

I sighed heavily, jumping up from the chair and went to the large window and stared out at the dark forest beyond.

“How did your field trip go?” He asked suddenly.

“Fine.” I replied moodily.

Carlisle chuckled, too used to my often erratic moods, “And the Swan girl? Did you... talk to her?”

“Yes, actually, Alice made sure we spent the whole day with her.”

Carlisle perked up, “Oh, well, how was that then?” he asked lightly, “Did you... enjoy that?”

I turned and glared at him, “I did... but I shouldn't.” casting my eyes back to the window.

Carlisle sighed and I heard his chair squeak as he stood and made his way to stand at the window with me.

You should really try allowing yourself to enjoy something for once, Edward, we all just want to see you happy. If this girl makes you happy, why keep running away from it?

“And what exactly do you suggest?” I demanded, “I can't damn her to a life like ours...”

I knew Carlisle would feel ashamed at that and I cringed at making him hurt, I did not blame him for turning me but I couldn't help feeling no one deserved this existence.

Carlisle swallowed, “There is no damning... you can not make decisions for her, if that is what she chooses then you will also have to accept that.” he said softly.

I looked up with pained eyes, “How could anyone choose this?” I asked hoarsely.

He pressed his lips together and patted my shoulder, “I think you know what would make someone choose a life like ours.” and then he made his way to the door, closing it softly behind him.

I stayed in his office, staring out into the darkened trees, listening to my family downstairs as they enjoyed each others company and in turn their mates. I ached for such a bond, someone to share eternity with... but how could I allow myself to do that to this human girl? How could she ever want something like that? I did not think it was possible.