#edda-earth liveblog

[nochiquinn]

book 3 part 3: i yam what i yam & dat’s what i yam

Iset had spread her sheltering hand over Cleopatra and her son, Caesarion, for as long as they were in Egypt. And then they had both left for Rome, where she could barely reach them.

I gotta do those books, too, those are gonna be an experience

Tendrils scored and scraped along Set’s body as he grasped Horus’s wrists, trying to pull him away, with more than just his body. He was trying to send him to the Veil. Where it was safe. Where Horus could recover. No one kills my brother but me, Set snarled. He is mine. We are bound.

I love Egyptian mythology

Some of the more conservative Judean newspapers had headlined this event with the words, Pharaoh, Take Your People Home! which was apparently a reference to something that had occurred some three thousand years ago.

Minori infinitely preferred visiting Prometheus to visiting Sophia Caetia—before or after her final breakdown. Prometheus, she could understand, and respect. Sophia...was simply mad.

be nice, none of this is her fault

“Sig has a centaur admirer,” Adam replied tersely, and took the plate out of Mazatl’s hand with his free one, bracing the door open with his shoulder as he continued to lean on his cane. “He comes and leaves her little tokens of his affection once or twice a year. On the new year and in Aprilis.” The sarcasm dwindled as he went on, leaving his words oddly sorrowful. [...] About all I’ve gotten out of Sig is his name—Nikolaos. [...] Goes into Little Gothia and talks to people about a . . . death-goddess, apparently.”

nikolaos is the exact center of sig’s belief network

“I’ve never quite been able to understand how good people can worship dark gods.” He held up a hand, almost as weathered as Ehecatl’s own. “They said that they were propitiating Shiva. Asking him not to do bad things. Keeping him happy. Sounds like extortion to me.”

Ehecatl snorted and rolled his dice. “Only you, ben Maor, would call worship extortion.”

at least they get some tangible feedback on their worship

“To us polytheists, monotheists seem to be ignoring half of creation, or just hoping that it will go away, if they close their eyes tightly enough. Night isn’t evil. It’s part of the universe. Death isn’t necessarily evil, either. Worshipping a deity of night and death isn’t going to make those things go away. It’s about respect.”

THANK you, Ehecatl

You have always been...my good servant, Serpentshadow...which is why...I protected you...shielded your memory...from the others. Didn’t...deserve their malice...

Quetzacoatl is a good god-dad

Only then did Quetzalcoatl look down at himself, and realized, to his mild surprise, that Ehecatl’s tattoos still showed on his skin. They were, however, made of shining light now, not the heavy black marks that had run and spread with age. Every binding goes both ways, he said, quietly. The binder is bound. And we change each other.

it’s fusion!

Am I the only person left who values being human? Am I the only person on earth who’s choosing to remain what I am?

yes, because you refuse to acknowledge the difference between mortality and humanity.

Nith’s head, the only part of him that could fit inside the tent, lifted slightly as his eyes focused on her.

this is adorable

“He marks the anniversary of Sophia’s attack every year,” Adam told her, his voice hard. “A goddamned horrible thing to celebrate.”

“He’s not celebrating. He’s remembering.”

how does Adam not recognize a memorial

Before you two disappear into the archives to spend the entire night verifying that yes, Nith can read, and that yes, you two do indeed have some two thousand years of missed conversations to make up for... she endured the ice crystals to the back of her neck with what dignity she could muster

I love them

Generations of young bear-warriors have tried to woo pretty girls with the line, ‘Do you not wish to have the might of Thor inside you?’ And quite a few of those have been daughters of my line. Sigrun cleared her mind and turned her face into a mask. Loki cackled. You want to say it. You desperately want to say it.

tell the fucking dick joke, sigrun

You are as much my daughter as Hel was. You hold much of her essence inside of you. You are, in fact, as I hoped she would become. Loki leaned forwards, and brushed a kiss on Sigrun’s hair.

this is very cute and also I love Loki

The Differently-Human Marriage Seminar? We can’t just say ‘cross-species,’ because some of them still can interbreed with regular humans...

I mean, “mixed marriage” is right there.

But male centaur/female human wasn’t going to work out in the long run.

Sex is not necessary for a healthy relationship!

Unless both of you are willing to give up some central human experiences—passion, children, family—and are content with a merely companionate relationship in the early years of your lives, you can’t really expect a committed monogamous relationship from each other, can you?

I hate literally every word in this sentence. Stupid, short-sighted, allonormative bullshit.

Are you going to live my life with me, instead of trying to find ways to live in death?

...yes. Because you ask it of me.

‘cause that’s healthy. she needs therapy, not to hang all her self-worth on Brandr.

We are at least holding our own— The thought was cut off as Ītzpāpālōtl retaliated, arrowing straight for Nith’s face, landing on his snout with all the force of her mass, accelerated to close to the speed of sound.

you jinxed it

He’d flinched at the notion that people were praying to his wife—and more so, at the idea that she was listening to them. That seemed a sure route to arrogance, pride, and believing all this...tripe.

oh, fuck off

Not that you have asked, but I suffered a broken snout, thirty-seven cuts, shattered scales, and a few fractured ribs. Sigrun prevented me from being blinded, for which I thank my lady.

pay attention to nith

I don’t know you, Steelsoul denied. Have I done you some harm, somehow?

You have. You will.

What did I do? What will I do, that you hate me for? Steelsoul was bewildered.

You’ll listen more to your head than to your heart, and you’ll destroy my life and yours. No. I’m not making one of Trueseer’s damnable predictions here. And the thing that kills me—hah—is that you won’t just make that mistake once. You’ll do it again. You’re doing it again.

The Guardian is 100% Adam from a doomed timeline where he fucked everything up by being a tool

Zaya went still as he continued to rub her neck, gently. “You...don’t see any hope, do you?”

Maccis considered lying. But in the end, this was Zaya. She deserved the truth. “I’m sorry. I wish I did, Zee. But I don’t.”

maybe Maccis should not have become a mercenary at 17

And now, the old god and the old man shared a cynical laugh.

I enjoy the mental image of Ehecatl and Quetzalcoatl sitting on a balcony Statler and Waldorf style

Mamaquilla! Odin shouted, his voice echoing across the continent, ringing back from the mountains. Defend your people! The earth will dance today!

From the lonely moon-goddess of Tawantinsuyu, defiance. Let it dance. They invade my lands, they sacrifice my people, for whom my beloved laid down his life? End them! End them all!

I just really like her

The relativity of time’s passage, am I five yet, am I five yet? I can’t wait till I’m ten! Oh, gods, how am I looking at my fortieth birthday already? No, I can’t be sixty-five, I’m not ready to be old...

me, deep in my midlife crisis: mood

I see Stormborn weeping over my body, but her cloak is white, and when I say her name in farewell...it is the first time she has ever heard me.

Nith pre-remembering a doomed timeline

“You, Kanmi?” Adam said, levering himself into a chair. “You’re going to champion humanity’s nature?”

“I always have. It’s just that they keep letting me down.”

that’s a mood

Kanmi exhaled. “Yes. I had a very, very long talk with Matru. I’m building a realm there.” He gave Adam a sidelong glance as the other man stiffened a little.

shut up, Adam, Kanmi’s making a Veil library, he’s living the dream

Sigrun patted her on the shoulder, and left, and was ambushed at the balcony door by Brandr, who picked her up off the ground in a bear-hug. “What’s that for?” she asked, blankly.

hug ur gods

She was suddenly acutely aware of how Nith’s wings caught the wind, the way his body vibrated with the air-flow, which transmitted up through her legs, where she rode, wedged between neck ridges.

👀

They are attempting to follow us, she pointed out.

All things should strive

I love Nith

You see me as I was when I went to the Odinhall. Awkward. Socially inept.” She laughed under her breath. “Adam doesn’t believe in me. Why should you?”

The look of irritation on Erikir’s face was nothing to Nith’s low growl, which shook the ground, shattering every icicle and in the area.

Nith said fuck Adam

Apollo of Rome died.

ONE DOWN ONE TO GO

When Jormangand rose again, the metal poured down from his scales like the blood of the earth.

someone use this as an album cover

None of them knew it then, but neither Eir nor Coyote would re-emerge. Later, they wouldn’t even be certain that the pair had entered the Veil, in the end. If they’d somehow gone to the Aether . . . they’d be lost there, forever. Nameless.

they fell into a coffee shop au

And then Loki turned his mount, and carried Hecate with him back towards Jormangand. You speak as one about to die, he said, quietly.

I hope that such is not the case. But Prometheus does not see me returning. Her tone was unruffled and cool. He tells me, in tones of great grief, that the probability of Jormangand turning on me and devouring me after transit, is great. Greater still is the probability that I will burn out what power I have left, taking the serpent to Mars. I may die. Or I may become no more than a house-spirit. She paused, thoughtfully. We will have to see if I have regained enough of my power to survive.

she’s just. she’s just so fucking cool.

“Burning incense clogs the CO2 filters,” she said, quietly. “But if Mars has any kami after all...please accept my offering.”

There were no mice in Eden. But when she returned to the table ten minutes later, the rice cake was gone.

Hecate, house-spirit of Mars.

Can’t you, just for a little while...be here, in the moment, with me? Be human with me? Being human used to be important to you. But I guess it isn’t, anymore.

the world is burning, Adam

He’d lived his life for Rome. And now, he rather thought that Rome owed him a death.

This is Hadrianus, whom we have not met before now, and immediately he produces this badass line

It might even move out of orbit, and try to consume the sun itself.

that’s Reapers

“Are you happy?” Regin asked, next.

“...I doubt that anyone in the world right now is happy,” Sigrun said, after a moment.

that’s not an answer, Sig

I am a widow before he’s even died.

your wife will be your widow ere you meet her again

Amaterasu began to glow, releasing some of her tightly-controlled power, letting the light radiate out from her. Did you think me weaponless? I come armed with truth in one hand and courage in the other. Did you think me powerless? I am the highest goddess of my people, however scattered they might be.

I choose to believe the badass lines are Minori’s influence.

The Roman goddess remained frozen in place, as all the aching parts of her essence opened up to the phoenix. Felt the love and generosity and empathy of Lassair, and tears began to form in her eyes. She was held captive, enthralled, to someone who held a mirror up to her own heart. Only Lassair’s mirror was not truth, but understanding.

as lassair just fixes a broken goddess, nbd

Her flesh dissolved, and Minori ascended, letting her light join with Kanmi’s. Emotions, thoughts, and power, braiding through each other’s essence. Glorying in each other, and flowing into and through each other. And then they spread out through the city...and got back to work.

Trennus is the only one who hasn’t properly ascended, chop chop Matrugena

Every union between Hades and Persephone had been rape.

This reading of the myth makes sense here bc the Hellene gods are notably insane, violent and unhinged, but it still makes me tired

You do not frighten me, lord of the dead. You are...refreshingly upfront about who and what you are.

This is the newly-widowed Juno to Pluto, and I am probably thinking about it too much when I draw parallels to Adam and Sigrun. (If Sig had been upfront about what was happening, would Adam have been less of a tool? (Unlikely.) If Adam had been treated badly by a former lover, would he have appreciated Sigrun even as a death goddess?)

Hestia had rarely ventured out into the world, other than to curl up in people’s hearth fires, and listen to the words they spoke around her.

that sounds cozy as fuck

Orcus has raped and slain Hestia. She is dead. And I am alone.

Was the rape necessary? Was that a plot point we needed?

“You catch his name?”

“Ehecatl.”

“Named after one of Quetzalcoatl’s aspects. Hah. Probably thought he was a god, too.”

you just admitted you should have listened to him and gotten out before your wife and son were sacrificed, you don’t get to make fun of his name

Loki kept Sigrun from having children to avoid attachments during Ragnarok . . . and this certainly feels like Ragnarok...

(Reginleif just laid an egg.) If Sig had a kid it would have taken her four times as long to eat the fucking apple

What right do I have to judge? He is what I am, writ large. A memory returned to her, unbidden. Freya telling her to control her image, or belief would shape her...as Pluto had, obviously, been shaped.

oh NOW you wanna listen to Freya, when you’re faced with the possibility of being turned into worms.

A birth to a barren mother and a father who is death incarnate, neither of whom could ever have hoped for this, in all the long years of their existence?

🤔

It is good of you to join us at last, little one. I did not know I would ever have always had you.

the fucking Veil

“There have been attacks on the nuclear plants. Persian rockets, mostly. Erida put up a smaller version of the city-wide shield around them. It would be bad if the plants exploded.” [..]

Sigrun froze, in mild horror. “I did not know about that,” she admitted.

Adam turned and gave her a long look. “No,” he told her. “No, you didn’t.”

I HATE saying this, because I know how important Judea is in the long run, but her concerns run a little bit more global now, Adam, so maybe fuck off with the guilt trips.

I just turned eighty-nine, you realize? Compared to all of the gods... she glanced down at Nith, and amended, Compared to all of you...I am an infant.

We are all as old as we think we are.

Age is just a number, especially if you don’t want to see yourself turn to dust after 130 years.

as if someone had jammed a live and panicking tiger into her head

🎶you can’t drive around with a tiger in your car🎶

He’d tell her that her retainer, the dragon, yearned for her embrace. And that the dragon was considering killing her mortal husband, whom she so cherished. In the mood in which the dragon now appeared to be? The mortal child of the northern gods would surely believe him.

they made the pazuzu the gate-guard of sigrun’s realm rather than just banishing him to come back over and over. he is very resentful and also very stupid.

Truthsense caught at her, and she realized, suddenly, what the creature was trying to do. You employ divide and conquer tactics? Here?

The pazuzu is VERY stupid.

Mageslayer was apparently his squad-name.

It’s a cool name, okay. Maccis is far to young to have had to earn it, but it’s a cool name.

“Does the JDF even have that in their manual anywhere? ‘This is how you accept surrender from a Persian. Please do not actually shoot them.’”

instructions unclear, bullet stuck in persian

Wild-heart?

Yes, dear one?

Would you like to have another child?

see, THAT’S how you do that, lassair

We can fix up a nursery, pretend that we don’t know Aunt Lassair at all, and go to doctor appointments, and all the things that normal people do.

I feel like most people try to pretend they don’t know lassair in these instances

The valkyrie will know.

The valkyrie is an unbeliever and a foreigner. She may choose not to care.

Sigrun turned five centaurs into jelly when they hurt Sophia, the fuck chance do you think you have? (This is also Sophia’s broken prophecy but also fuck this nurse in particular)

Why, it’s me, my own, said a male voice, like sun-warmed honey.

fuuuuuuuuuck yooooooooou

And when the instructor’s back was turned, Sophia picked up a pair of shears.

not that anyone in this hospital has shown an ounce of competence, but why in fuck would you turn your back on a sharp object in a psych ward

They were sharp. And they would do very nicely what they were designed to do. I put on my boots, she thought. I remember that. I didn’t remember doing it before, but I did it anyway...

Sophia Deserved Better

And the question came to mind in Kanmi’s voice: ‘So, did you have an incestuous circle-jerk with your uncle-father and your uncle-uncle, for the purposes of producing offspring?’

kanmi is always with you

For a married woman to tell that sort of joke to someone other than her husband seemed a little beyond the pale to her

if being married means giving up dirty jokes I’m never doing it

Pluto’s worms changed course, humming through the air like a swarm of bees.

HELLO, BEES

Primitive people had once believed that malefic spirits could be summoned by writing the Name of a god backwards.

Mxyzptlk

and suddenly, he had Toutatis’ complete attention.

This stupid motherfucker is trying to unName a god, while it is fighting a mad godling, right over his fucking head.

Oh, come, this is hardly the first time I’ve been inside of you. Though the first time so publically, yes.

zhi this is not the time

Sophia smiled, almost giddy. “My answer? My choice?” She paused, savoring it. “I say fuck you, Apollo of Delphi. I die free.”

The look of comic shock on his face warmed her heart, and and gave her almost a full second to get her hand up, sharpened metal in hand, and stab herself in the throat.

Sophia is more badass than you. And she deserved better.

Apollo of Delphi had exactly enough time to turn. For his eyes to widen. And then the shadow behind him materialized fully, and the spear that wasn’t really a spear anymore, so much as an expression of the will of a death-goddess...lashed out.

Apollo deserved worse.

She looked up at Nith, her lashes rimed with ice. Nith, what good is being what I am, if I can’t protect the ones I love? If I can’t save them?

I do not have an answer for that, Nith told her, and spread his wings over her. I think you did everything you could to save her. But I also think that she made the choices that she made. And that she died a death that she chose. Surely, that counts for something.

hi I’m crying over a book at 3 am

She signed the hospital’s statement that they were not liable for Sophia’s death.

I mean they’re not not liable

“So . . . Apollo killed her?”

“I think she killed herself to escape him.”

Adam felt his soul contract, just a little. Suicide was forbidden in his culture. A defiance of god, the destruction of god’s handiwork, the desecration of his god’s greatest gift, which was life. “Her despair finally won, then,” he said, quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

Nith raised his head, and Adam’s own jaw ached, seeing the damage to the dragon’s face. And for the first time, the dragon spoke, with quiet force. I disagree. I heard her words, Stormborn. She said that she died free. The moonfire eyes glowed in the dim room. Surviving for as long as she did? Every day was a victory against Apollo. And her escape, at the end? Her greatest moment of triumph. The dragon pulled himself to his feet, the raw edges of his wounds looking faintly puckered as he healed. I do not tell you not to mourn, my lady. But I believe that she went to her death with joy in her heart, as a captive finally released from prison. And you avenged her death, though there is no punishment dark enough for the ruin that was made of her life.

Nith understands, probably better than anyone else could.

Adam shook his head. “Your people greeted death with orgies and beer.”

there are worse ways to grieve

If there were a king somewhere, Nith said, delicately, a leader whom men would follow into battle, who had been rendered unable to lead, by injury, disease, or age, and if his people brought to him a chalice, a cauldron, or a goddess, and told him Here is your cure, I would think that he would enter into that union. Would restore himself, his lands, and his people. Nith’s tone was weary now. What happens in the tale, when the king pushes aside the cup that is his salvation?

yeah, ADAM, what happens then, ADAM

(I do not agree that Adam should be leading anything but I see where Nith is trying to go)

And while I would like to put her ashes in the ground under the apple tree, Judean law is fairly strict about that.

fuck ‘em. what are they gonna do, arrest you?

You would not believe me even if I told you. Loki’s fox-like grin came and went as he stood, and began to measure out the room with his strides.

I believe the human phrase is ‘try me,’ young trickster.

I enjoy Prometheus

I cursed Sigrun Stormborn. To ensure that she would be ready to fight, as a valkyrie, without reservation. That curse is, incidentally, in abeyance. Loki paused, looking at Sigrun, but she didn’t react. In truth, she didn’t know what to think, or feel about that statement. It seemed trivial; beside the point.

no sigrun pay attention. take notes.

And then a voice in those pre-memories spoke to me, Loki said, quietly. And told me not to fear. That there was a plan.

In my many re-reads, I usually don't get this far, because these books are very long. But getting here now, and actually paying attention for shittalking purposes, my theory is that the mysterious lady-voice is either the God of Abraham or future-Sigrun. Though the God of Abraham has to feature eventually, there’s been too much made of their silence.

And what does gender mean to any of us? Loki asked, with a shrug.

mood

Yes, Embersoul,

oh, Kanmi’s Name changed when he ascended

This is better than Dvalin’s Archives, she told Kanmi. Don’t tell him I said so, though. Ah, blackmail material. Excellent.

kanmi don’t blackmail other gods

I need a Zaya to help me organize this place properly.

just use the existing zaya

Oh, so I’m your responsibility, am I? Certainly. We try to bring our riders home safely. That’s the job. Rig could hear, under the sarcasm, a surprising amount of personal loyalty. And wondered how much of it was the damned dreams, and how much of it was real.

dreams are real, rig

If an amorphous ball of negative energy could be said to regard anything, it seemed to be studying the magus.

fondly regard magus

He could feel the sword devouring the godling from the inside out,

craven edge

Rig was still somehow breathing,

he ate a godling, he’s a god now, I don’t make the rules

[astronicht]

re: Mordor's location

I'm confused! I can understand being annoyed that Mordor is in the east (for me, it's because any new birth/new beginnings symbolism fails. BUT on the other hand, it works great with tolkien's biblical stuff - from study.com, "'East of Eden' is an allusion to the Biblical Book of Genesis. After Cain murders his brother Abel, he is exiled to the land of Nod, 'east of Eden' (Genesis 4:16)". I LOVE Tolkien's biblical symbolism, and smeagol murdering his brother is a direct cain/abel reference, so having the evil be to the east really works for me.

So I guess I'm just wondering if a) the symbolism thing is what irritates you about Mordor's location (or if there's something else I'm missing), and b) how does the evil being in the north resolve this?

Hey cool question!

Caveat that I’m literally just liveblogging my first ever read of LOTR, so while I read Hobbit as a kid and I know the movies and a good portion of the medieval prose and poetry Tolkien is drawing on very well, the only LOTR text I can reference is… from the Shire to Weathertop. Additionally, my perspective is as a medievalist, but I wasn't raised Christian and can’t speak to Tolkien’s personal faith, just to how he might use (and does use) historical Christianity (and a bunch of non-Christian narratives) in his work. At least like. Up to Weathertop.

Short answer a) not exactly! b) Because I expected evil to be in the north, and it checked that box. So-- your particular interest in Christian symbolism is immediately relevant here, because about 700 years before the King James Bible, in the medieval literature (and medieval Christianity) among which Tolkien has settled his own Middle-Earth, people had very very strong feelings about the cardinal directions, and North was heavily associated with Lucifer — this being stated explicitly in an Old English retelling of Genesis called The Old English Hexameron. Here, Lucifer's fall starts like this:

"with a presumptuous pride (moodiness) he said that he would make his throne above the stars of God, over the height of the clouds, in the north part, and be like unto God." (p. 17; not my translation but my guy Henry Wilkins Norman nailed it)

mid dyrstigre modignysse cwæð ðæt he wolde wyrcan his cynesetl bufan Godes tunglum ofer ðæra wolcna heannysse on ðam norð dæle and beon Gode gelic. (p. 16)

In non-Christian stories (though written down centuries later by Christians), the Gylfaginning in the Prose Edda describes Hel as “down and to the North” (sorry, just a link wiki here). So, same idea, and beyond these texts, North is generally associated with hell, death, or evil in early medieval literature, much more clearly than East usually is (even factoring in Old English and Old Norse stories about Cain, Attila the Hun, and the more exciting fauna of the Indian subcontinent, all of which formed the early medieval idea of East). Thus, finding out that an original Big Bad, of whom Sauron was “but a servant,” had once made his throne in the north made me go “OH! He didn’t forget after all!” in utter frustrated delight. My confusion wasn't exactly with evil in the east; it was the lack of evil in the north.

(this reply is really long, but my main point ends here, for anyone looking to bail out)

Actually, Genesis retellings in Old English are absolutely fascinating; I’m not wedded to Christian-only symbolism, but if it’s what you enjoy a lot, I very much suggest looking into the Hexameron and Genesis A, both great examples and very well known to Tolkien.

Personally I suspect I'll end up reading the symbolism of Mordor in the east as a more complex and varied thing than solely a reference to Cain's banishment. But to be really clear, in saying that I'm definitely not saying that Cain and Nod aren't valid interpretations (especially when they work for you so well!). Just my guess and my perspective. Old evil in the north and Mordor in the east is really interesting! So was the story of how Hobbits etc wandered out of the east to colonize the Shire, in another early medieval echo. And with Aragorn's throwaway "In those days the Great Enemy, of whom Sauron of Mordor was but a servant, dwelt in Angband in the North" I got an extra point on the map, from which the story immediately unspooled into an even wider and richer thing. Which is so neat, I love everyone in this bar, etc.

Just a quick further note on Smeagol, because I happen to have just gone past this bit and it's fresh! As far as I know at uhhh this very early point in LOTR (maybe it's changed later), Deagol was not his brother but simply his friend: “He had a friend called Deagol, of a similar sort, sharper-eyed but not so quick and strong” (though if you like the Cain and Abel imagery, this doesn't change that much tbh! I can see how it hits that note regardless). They are under the same matriarch (perhaps implying family ties) who eventually throws Smeagol out years after Deagol's murder; I liked that bit, bc I have no idea where Tolkien's pulling proto-hobbit matriarchs from yet, and Smeagol later lied and said the matriarch had given him the One Ring, implying that she was a ring-giver like an Old English/Norse thane or king. Smeagol and Deagol (and Frodo) are also wrapped up in lots of different tropes and symbols; Cain and Abel, yes, but also Beowulf and Grendel, and probably some other stuff I'll notice in like 10 years and yell at the ghost of Tolkien about. I think these stories work so well because they’re layers upon layers. It’s stories all the way down, you know!

Much like this reply, which is endless, so sorry about that.

[nochiquinn]

I just went to edit some stuff in one of the edda-earth liveblogs and it...disappeared. site ate it. It Is Gone.

like I have the notes, I can do it again, but I don't WANT to and also WHY

[nochiquinn]

book 2 part 1: things that make you go hmmm

They each now had a reputation for being present wherever disaster struck.

y’don’t say

“Not intentionally, but this one will make six, yes,” Trennus had returned.“I’d be fine stopping now, but it’s not my choice. Lassair decides when she wants to be pregnant.”

remember when I said Lassair learning she could Create would be a problem

And it was, of course, his older brother, Mikayel, who finally leaned over, and told him, soberly, “You know, you’d have children of your own by now, if you hadn’t married her.”

remember when I said no one deserves Mikayel

“Mikayel, you’re a damned fool,” their father had said, abruptly, from the door of the living room. Adam’s vision, which had defocused slightly, allowing him the wide-angle view he used in combat, looking at nothing in particular, but responding to everything, snapped back into proper focus. “Adam could kill you with his bare hands, but probably will settle for humiliating you in public and ensuring that you don’t have any more teeth before he’s done with you. But you’re also a fool for presuming that you know the mind of God. You’re arrogant, Mikayel, when we are meant to be humble. I suggest that you go home and reflect on this truth.” Their father paused. “I’ll see you next week, my son.”

Lassair had lifted herself from the couch in one smooth movement, unburdened by the weight of her own flesh, and moved over to the chair where Sigrun sat, curling up beside her and wrapping her arms around the valkyrie. Sigrun didn’t move, other than to stiffen. I would give every one of you joy if I thought you would let me, and if I thought it would not hurt Trennus’ feelings. I would make myself male or a hermaphrodite for you. A flicker, and a second Lassair stood there, in front of Sigrun now, smiling, and slowly turning distinctly male. Still the red eyes, and coppery hair, but built like a damned bear-warrior. A solid seven feet in height, and broad in proportion. Beard sprouting, downy at first, against the cheeks. We could have such joy together . . . but it’s not my child you seek to carry. And I would not make myself look like Steelsoul for you, or like you for him. Well . . . not without your equal consents. A little pause for amusement. You know that.

lassair has her issues but she’s generally a good egg

Stormborn, she said, quietly. This isn’t a matter of hormonal balance. I could correct that. Your life-giving parts, the place of seed, and the garden itself? They are . . . suffused with the Veil. They are outside of time, but they remain in this physical reality.

sophia tried to warn you

If a god had come to her and told her, You can’t have children, and this is why or if Tyr himself had simply commanded, No issue from you, Sigrun, she would probably have accepted it without much question. A curse implied that a judgment had been rendered against her, a judgment without trial, and even, as far as they could tell, without a crime.

reminder that sigrun is a godborn of Tyr and therefore basically a literal embodiment of the concept of justice

He’d told Adam that his goal was to keep the monsters under the bed where they belonged.

bodiiii

“Quick!” Kanmi called to Adam. “Go give your wife a kiss and cheer her up. It starts to thunder, and they’re going to close the beach down.”

A. Fucking finally B. This is in response to Adam playing with one of Trennus' babies, so also :(

“I call lightning. I do not control weather.”

sighs

It’s not a marriage. It’s semi-monogamous prostitution.

is semi-monogamous a thing? I feel like that’s not a thing.

[Erida had] also clearly cast a few feelers at Kanmi in the past couple of days, as if testing to see if he’d be interested in making their friendship a little more

do it

[...] only wanted to trade, make babies, and watch their men perform acrobatics with bulls—no comments, Kanmi, please, I beg of you—” 

“I would like to note that all of the comments have already been made in my mind.”

#kanmikin

“Please don’t say the words ‘time-travel,’”

same; time loops make my head hurt

He’d taken to shaving his beard in the past few years.

nope, that’s not going in the mental image, trennus is a hairy barbarian man forever

“Next week in our continuing lecture series, ‘Kanmi Eshmunazar on the Nature of Cynicism: Why good things happen to bad people, and why you can’t stop it,’”

that’s it, that’s kanmi’s character

Two days later, when Adam mentioned that he might want to buy a calculus for their home, Sigrun nodded, and asked, tentatively, “Would it have the bouncing game?” Adam looked at her, and laughed.

“my wife enjoys something, that’s hilarious” tool

“Thank you, Sophia,” she said, instead. “I know you mean only to help.”

fucking finally

“Oh, I do still try for wicked, on my good days. Don’t let the cane fool you.” 

“Of course, sir.”

you will pry sigrun/livorus from my cold dead hands

[...]what good are all your futures, if we can’t prepare for them? He could almost hear Sophia’s reply, however. You are preparing for them. You’re also making them.

sophia’s smarter than you, adam

“University of Jerusalem doesn’t have a technomancy department.” 

Build one, Lassair recommended, with amusement in her tone.

I mean she’s not wrong.

And then the dragon plunged, directly for her. The enormous jaws gaped wide, and deathfrost began to pour out of its jaws, like liquid nitrogen just beginning to turn back to gas. Little curls of it, out the sides, like drool.

it’s probably odd to read this description and start grinning like an idiot, but here we are

And then Níðhoggr licked her, with a black and sticky tongue.

it won’t be the last time 

Sigrun swallowed. Hard. Don’t be afraid to make friends, she thought, and, very slowly, reached up a hand. It’s going to be bitten off. I’m a daughter of Tyr One-Hand. It’s going to be ironic and very painful.

I don’t have a comment, I just wanted to note sigrun expressing a sense of humor

Though every instinct told her not to do it, Sigrun closed her eyes. Concentrated on the usual feeling of warmth and safety she had in the Odinhall. Thought about wind, and the gentle kiss of the kind of rain that fell from a sunny, cloudless sky. A breeze drifted past her face, and she opened her eyes cautiously, to see sky and clouds, once more.

YOU DON’T CONTROL THE WEATHER HUH SIG (”it’s the odinhall, it doesn’t count” shut up and let me have this)

“You . . . you are bored, aren’t you?” Sigrun asked, after a moment, staring at the vast creature. A smile quivered on her lips, and suddenly broke through. “You are pleased to play with me?” 

The beast bared his fangs, and dove at her again, and Sigrun, laughing, ducked out of the way.

❤️

I have never seen a mortal who could reset the room from a blank state, as you just did, and only one other god-born.

mayhaps reconsider one of those descriptors then, I would think

This is the paper I was given a month ago. Your only petition. Marked as having been given to the Odinhall two months ago. Not two years. DVALIN!

MRS. LANDINGHAAAAAM

She was the soil in an orchard, she was the trees themselves, bearing fruit, the sunlight pouring down over earth and leaves. She was the roots, scrabbling in the earth, drinking water, breathing in carbon and fixing it into the soil.

be the fucking apple, sigrun

Clear memories. Perfect ones. But . . . there are suggestions that they are illusions. Tyr and Thor will find the truth in him.

Brandr also deserved better

“But I would hold Loki to account for this.” It didn’t matter that Loki was a god. It didn’t matter that he could bat her like a fly off the face of the earth. What mattered was justice, and she and Adam had been wronged, and for no better reason, apparently, than to amuse Loki, who had a long and bitter history with Tyr. Sigrun’s temples throbbed.

sig don’t care. sig’ll punch a god.

“Either he removes the curse, or the conditions of the curse must be met for it to end. And do you know what the conditions are, Adam? Freya found that much out, through studying it today.” She stood, and began to pace back and forth, and Adam, perhaps wisely, didn’t try to touch her. Electricity snapped in her still-loose hair, crackling around her like a long, heavy corona. “The conditions,” Sigrun spat, “are that the world will end before I bear a child.”

sigrun’s hurting, and I feel for her, deeply.

but sophia tried to warn her.

Lassair is a wondrous creature. Infinite in forms. Beautiful in spirit. Generous in her power. Saraid acknowledged it all, simply. But very demanding, in her way. You are her conduit, dear one. You know this.

read between the lines, trennus

And are we not one, dearest? Have you not been bound to me longer than you have to Lassair?

“I saw him first”

Bind me, and be bound, beloved. 

He reached out, dizzily, along the soul-bond with Lassair. Felt her amusement, her approbation. It is a very good idea, Flamesower, she told him. And I know that you love her, and she loves you. I am very much in favor of love, no matter where it is found. Bind each other, and I will be as bound to you as you are to each other. None are diminished. Not here.

instantaneous poly negotiations

But how could he possibly explain that he was bound to two spirits, and he loved them both, and they all served each other to try to keep part of the Veil safe? And to keep the mortal world safe, too?

“none of your fucking business” usually works for me

I almost think you two worked this out between you beforehand. Trennus hadn’t flushed in years, but at her widening smile, he could feel his cheeks start to tighten and burn a little. 

Of course we did. It’s more polite that way.

to be a fly on the wall of THAT conversation

“And then there’s the fact that if we don’t go, and you all get yourselves killed, we’ll get stuck with all the work.” 

He nodded, soberly, and Tren looked at him steadily. “Bastard,” Trennus told him, without rancor. 

“From a long line of them, yes.” Kanmi replied, without hesitation.

I love them

Livorus nodded. After a moment’s consideration, he walked slowly to the fireplace in his study, and took his legionnaire’s sword down from the mantel, handing it to Adam. “I can’t go with you,” he said, soberly. “Take this with you, if you would be so kind. I do not ask that you do anything dramatic with it. But . . . I would like to be there. To stand beside you, all of you, as you’ve so often stood with me. Let this be my proxy.”

cries about livorus (also have you met them, they are incapable of doing anything non-dramatically)

And for an instant, Sigrun had an inkling of what this had cost her sister. She said she takes them to keep from seeing death behind every eyeblink. In what a state of mortal terror she must always live . . . .

fucking imagine that, sigrun, that thing she told you might actually be true and actually really traumatizing for her! imagine that!!!

“You are completely free of the drugs right now?” Sigrun asked, her tones clipped. 

Sophia nodded. 

“You won’t take them while you are looking after the children?” “No. I . . . won’t need to.” Sophia looked around. “You don’t understand. I don’t see them dying, Sigrun. And Judea’s so pleasant. It’s not going to die. It’s not like Rome, where I look around this apartment, and all I see are the metal support beams piercing through there and there,” she pointed, with uncanny specificity, “Oh, and there, too. And the ashes from Vesuvius and the debris from the apartments upstairs, all mingling with water and forming poured stone. I don’t see the severed heads of the neighbors, rotting and decaying, the hands sticking out of the debris, or the stuffed toys from a child’s cradle, splattered with blood. Judea . . . I won’t see that, Sigrun. I won’t need the poppy-blood there.”

cries about sophia

Lassair said, quietly, twisting around on the couch to stare at Sophia, I have no objections, then. But know this, Watcher, cracked mirror that you are, that if you deceive us in any way, your sister will have to race me for your head. And I will not be gentle or quick with you, as she would be, for that she loves you.

lassair, badass, etc

“And yet, she’s been right about so many things over the years. That sometimes . . . I wonder.” 

Minori looked up at her. “You wonder if it’s true?”

Sigrun found a patch of carpet to stare at. “I wonder if there’s any hope that she’s wrong,” she admitted, quietly, and got on with the work. The future wouldn’t get here any faster or slower for her not doing what needed to be done.

Just. Just believe your sister. There is no fate, yadda, I know, but. Sophia. :(

Erikir looked up and grinned. “The ones collected and refracted through corundum lenses?” 

Adam blinked. That, he hadn’t expected, and suddenly, the prospect of two huge men who might not be able to control themselves in battle suddenly didn’t seem quite as daunting or unwelcome.

That’s right, the big brawny men are idiots until proven otherwise. Good job, Bastet.

Adam wondered if the sheer size of the bear-warriors irked Kanmi, on some subconscious level.

my original note was something about toxic masculinity, and then I remembered that kanmi got held under the water by his brothers as a kid so nvm, you go on with your perfectly valid ptsd, kanmi

Adam stared at the man. Sigrun tended to avoid the subject of her age, but Brandr . . . Brandr was at least eighty years old, if Adam’s mental math was correct. And looked no more than twenty-four, at the most, though his age was difficult to gauge under the heavy beard and the scars.

and so it begins

No. I need to know precisely how soft and slow you’ve become, working only with mortals.”

mortal, singular. okay maybe not YET but

“That was fun,” he admitted, and pulled her close, so she could feel the tension in his body

this is a euphemism for boners

“It’s not as bad as Arlesus, on the delta of the Aeturnus, though.

It's really frustrating that words I can figure out from context are immediately translated in-narrative but I don't even get a footnote link for the locations. I have to yank myself out of the book and ctrl+f through the appendix.

“Retail is beneath her skills and her education.”

Somehow, she kept getting cast as a rebel, by various people, when she really didn’t think she was one.

something something immoral laws are not just something

This is the existence I see stretching out in front of me. Everyone I care about dying, leaving me surrounded by increasingly younger children. Till the whole world will be peopled by naught but mewling infants.

how it feels to be nearly 30 in fandom

“I was so stupid,” she repeated, bitterly. Whether she meant that she was stupid for having been deceived, stupid for having been angry, or some other reason, Sigrun couldn’t tell.

the answer is probably “yes”

Adam put his hands down, flat, on the table, and exhaled. “I accept that, and I understand that. You’re god-touched, though. You’re . . . meant for battles like this.”

She just told you that a. She doesn't want to leave her kid in a new country with a bunch of strangers b. She has very little combat training and no combat experience c. She doesn't want to go. Fuck all the way off, Adam, and learn what the word “no” means on your way out

Sigrun put a hand over her face, but kept her voice rigidly controlled, as she replied, “You put Minori through weeks of training and scrutiny before letting her risk an undercover mission in Tawantinsuyu. You want to put Fritti in the field without an evaluation of her skills, simply because she’s god-born?” Sigrun’s voice rose in incredulity.

YEAH

“I leave the decision to you, Fritti. I do not ask, and I do not hinder,” Sigrun said, her voice harsh as she did her best not to look at either Fritti or at Adam, her stomach churning. “But I will say that Cocohuay was a god-born of Mamaquilla who had no combat experience, and came with us the last time we confronted a god. She died.”

she’s not wrong

Adam’s head snapped up. “She made a difference.” 

“She sacrificed herself! At the age of two hundred and more! She’d lived her life! Her children were grown!” Sigrun was furious now.

good, punch him, maybe you’ll break his jaw and he won’t talk anymore

Sigrun looked away, and let the tears fall. Oddly enough, they felt cold, and she heard thunder outside.

#coincidence

“Sig . . . I’m sorry. I didn’t want to argue.”

"I wanted you to say yes immediately and not offer your own thoughts or opinions"

“Keep looking,” Kanmi said. “Some of your articles are in there, Min.” 

“I know. Should I sign them for her?” 

“Absolutely. Yes. You should.”

that’d be a hell of a calling card

“Though she’s directed to keep Sigrun Caetia out of the investigation, because there are indications that Sigrun . . . profited by the disturbance?”

Trennus sorted through the bundle. One of them made his eyes burn to read; the lettering actually seemed to have thorns. Spikes. It crawled and moved on the page.

it’s a howler

“Unfortunately, they’ve got a couple of radical sub-factions who, as usual, want to kill all the rich, redistribute the wealth to everyone—no one ever asks along what lines, but you can assume that the people who are doing most of the killing will get the biggest shares—and live in a glorious utopia in which everyone will be equal. Especially the people with the bloodiest hands.”

look in america in 2018 it’s sounding pretty good

Kanmi’s mouth opened. Shut. And then he swore. Viciously, and in several languages at once.

#kanmikin

They hadn’t listened. But then again, she’d always known they wouldn’t.

sophiaaa

Sophia straightened out the blankets, and just stared at them for a long moment. It was pure joy looking at them. Not seeing death. Just . . . futures.

sophiaaaaaaaaa

“And, of course, Rig will be marrying Inghean over there in, oh, about twenty years. No, you’ll be here for a good long time, Fritti. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

1. Sophia don't tell people who their kids are gonna marry, they get weird about that 2. Every language that isn't Latin gets italicized and it's awful to try to read.

“Oh, you have choices. You’re just going to make the ones you were always going to make for all the reasons that make you, you.”

I love this concept but it’s so hard for me to try to explain.

Correspondence with certain deliciously provocative Carthaginian sorcerers to pursue.

with whom you should hook up

So no, she couldn’t interfere in their relationship, even if they’d permitted it; they were happy. She couldn’t diminish their happiness, by attempting to steal some of it to warm herself. Erida knew that she had very few scruples—she was of the Magi, and such delicacies were for other people—but apparently, this was one of them. Much to her own surprise.

I love Erida. (But also happiness is not a finite resource go hook up with kanmiiiii)

Happiness in marriage had seemed such a . . . lower-class ideal. And yet, she craved warmth. She craved fire.

careful what you wish for

The fact that some of her husband’s lovers were male did impinge upon her awareness, mostly as mild discomfort. The other women, she did not particularly care about. The men . . . that was, somehow, more of a slap in the face.

1. I have never and will never understand this mindset 2. erida no you’re better than that

“I couldn’t scream. It wouldn’t let me.”

All of this is horrifying (think Lassair's story, but with a live, under-age host body and a willing, malefic demon inhabiting it) but this line...this line.

She surveyed the marks on the floor. Picked out the spirit’s Name. And swore internally. The name had come from a cuneiform tablet found at an archaeological site outside of modern Babylon. There had been few notes from ancient summoners on the name, besides hungry for mortal life, which was a sure sign not to summon the creature.

erida’s husband is an idiot pass it on

“Illa’zhi,” Erida whispered, at length, as the wind rustled through the long grass. “Light of the dead. You remember the sound of my voice. You remember the scent of my blood. You remember the profit you found in bargaining with me once before. Come, I bid thee. Come from the Veil, to the mortal lands. Let us bargain once more, we two.”

“bargain”

Time makes you more complex, magus. I long for complexity.

Listen. This is probably the best "how can I make these people from different cultures/planets/planes of existence bang" in any of this author's works. Including the time she made Dara into a rachni queen.

For all of you? You get all of me.

equivalent exchange

Mmm. Physicality is . . . intriguing. Illa’zhi’s voice, in her own head, without her having lowered her barriers. Erida moved her arm, and peered around her, cautiously. The meadow was gone. There was nothing left for a hundred feet in any direction but ash and char, and a few forlorn, blackened forms of trees that still had a few flames dancing along an intact branch or two.

and trennus was worried about his bedsheets

“Stop it,” Sigrun said, and her voice carried enough chill to make Adam blink. “Neither of them likes their orders any more than we do. And Brandr’s already implied that he’s willing to defy the orders if and when there’s a good reason.” Her expression was tight. 

“Hostility gets us nowhere,” Trennus put in, quietly, and Adam exhaled. They were right. Of course they were.

Shut Up Adam 2x Combo

Also there will never, ever be a good reason as to why Sig and Tren didn't end up together, unless destiny needed her to have a husband she was willing to leave

“I hate to ask, but was there ever anything between you and Erikir?”

my longest “fuck off, adam” ever

But then again . . . she’s with me.

gods only know why

“I . . . am admittedly relying on something my sister said,

bout fuckin time

“Please. Not again. Not . . . bury me in the earth again. Can’t die in the ground again, being born hurts too much.”

speaking of horrific lines

Sigrun wasn’t sure why Adam was being so snide with her old friends. She thought she’d dealt with the issue at breakfast this morning, but apparently not.

because adam is a tool, sigrun

You are who you are, and you will be no other, even in so small a matter as shape or size. Very well. I will sink this lesson so deeply into your mind, that it will slumber until you are ready for it.

freya: eat the fucking apple, sigrun

I used seiðr. But . . . I can’t do that.

lays head on desk

This is not me. This is not who I am. What else did Freya put in my head?

before we blame freya, let us consider the nine hundred and eight entities you have been present for the death of, and the amount of unleashed divine energy you have been in the presence of over the last, oh, forty years? maybe? a little? no? okay, sure, it’s freya’s fault

Don’t worry about that. Work on making the shape. Then he can shape himself, later. 

You are very wise sometimes, Lassair.

I love these two together

“And most recently . . . I’m the fool trying to rescue other lost swimmers.”

This guy! I love this guy.

If someone irritated me that much, as, say, someone sitting at the back of this very room, with their hat still on, and, perhaps, talking to a neighbor while I’m lecturing? I’d find it far easier and quicker to turn the air around them to plasma momentarily. Just long enough to get their attention, and remove every hair on their face, to include their eyelashes and eyebrows. And all I’d need to do is snap my fingers.

I read this chapter intro thing bc Professor Eshmunazar is my favorite

“Latin,” Kanmi repeated, without much hope in his voice. 

“I’ll tell you when they get to the good parts,” Trennus offered. 

“In which language? They’re surfing between three.”

just spontaneously learn gothic, kanmi, nbd

Adam, once again, found himself unwillingly liking Erikir.

I hate Adam. That's my only note. His entire dislike of Erikir comes from the fact that he knew Sig before she met Adam. Before Adam was BORN. Fuck off, Adam.

It was a prototype, and Adam was aware that several very emeritus professors had told Kanmi that it couldn’t be done.

which is of course exactly why he did it

“I think everyone’s trying to remind our liaisons that while they might have known you longer, we’re all connected.” 

“Ah. Territoriality. I am the only tree, then, in range of a dog kennel.”

not inaccurate

“More proof,” Kanmi said, baring his teeth, “that the Picts will eat anything.” 

“Well, yes,” Trennus agreed. “Waste not, want not.”

One day someone will have to serve me blood sausage or black pudding without telling me what it is so I'll try it

“Accepting food, hospitality . . . it is not that different from the rules of hospitality among the Bedouins, the Hellenes, or even your own people, Adam. Accepting food and hospitality means accepting the person who offers it.” Sigrun grimaced. It had taken a while for him to understand that her reluctance to deal with Mikayel and Mikayel’s family went beyond mere discomfort with his brother’s vocal attitudes and beliefs. It dipped into the realm of Sigrun’s culture; Mikayel had offended her, and thus, she would not countenance him. She wouldn’t so much as eat food provided by him at a family pot-luck dinner. It made the holidays uncomfortable.

mikayel’s existence makes everything uncomfortable

“I don’t know if I am,” Vidarr admitted, in a muffled tone. “My heart beats. I bleed. I breathe. But I think I died.” 

No, Lassair said, firmly. You live. You have a human spirit in your body. I can see it.

lassair is a good egg

“I did very little,” Sigrun said, sharply, and very quickly. Adam heard the fear in her voice. “Asha and Sari did much more.”

stares into the camera like I’m on the office

She let his head slip to the soft moss, and, in a flicker of motion, straddled him. Leaned down, and kissed him. Would you sleep, dear one? 

Perhaps . . . not quite . . . yet . . . .

see, lassair, this is called asking.

Trennus paused, looking down at Sigrun. Kanmi had laughed at him for years for his ‘crush’ on her. He’d thought, briefly, of asking her to walk out with him, but the path hadn’t turned that way, and his feelings had instead matured into a gentle kind of love.

and then trennus confessed and lassair became part of the polyblob and adam fell in a ditch and died

I am not the fireling, Saraid returned, with a renewed burble of amusement. I understand discretion and privacy.

look, she means well

He’d used the term sand-bagging several times.

I didn’t know montecristo was in this book

But Sigrun had learned patience, at least a tiny store of it.

“would you say patience is your strongest vi-” “yes”

“Because they’re idiots,” Kanmi muttered. 

“Because that’s what they’ve been ordered to do,” Sigrun corrected, sharply. “And they trust in the gods not to let them die for merely following orders.”

so because they’re idiots

So you will need to use your other senses, sister, Lassair told her, patiently. You cannot limit yourself to your mortality in this time, and in this place. 

Sigrun slid her eyes to her left, without turning her head. Looked at Adam. I am mortal, she told Lassair, understanding, somehow, that the spirit was addressing her, and her alone at the moment. I stand with him.

Literally why. Also - and I will say this 400 times over the next two books - if you believe yourself a weapon, and you come across knowledge or abilities that allow you to be a better weapon, whyyyy would you insist on not using them? None of this logic tracks for me and in my grumpier moments it kinda feels like Sig's being bullheaded for the sake of there being a plot.

“I’ll handle our tracks,” the small woman beside the short sorcerer noted. “Snow and ice are a little closer to my field anyway.” 

“If it’s the last thing I do, Min, I’m going to break you of thinking of sorcery as four elements.” 

“Five, actually.” A little toss of her head that suggested that this was a long-standing argument, and then she began to murmur under her breath and made a little tossing gesture back the way they’d come. 

“Wood is not an element. It’s an organic compound, derived from carbon and a dozen other substances.”

 “Kanmi-kun, shush.” 

“Yes, dear.”

heart eyes motherfucker

“Cheer up,” Trennus told the Carthaginian, blithely. “It’s been in the fifties during the day. The ice on the lake could be very fragile, so it’s actually a good thing that the nights are freezing. You don’t want the ice to crack underfoot and plunge you into the water.” 

There was a pause. “This is your revenge for me laughing at your fear of airplanes for the past ten years, isn’t it, Matru?”

I told y’all to quit making fun of him

The spirit had adopted a humanoid form this time, not her centaur-like self. She retained dainty doe hooves at the end of mostly humanoid legs, but the antlers on her brow had been replaced with wolf ears. And she’d swathed herself in what looked like hides and furs, as if in emulation of the others; it wasn’t as if she could feel the cold, no matter how naked her form might be. The shifts in form seemed significant, somehow. Saraid lifted her hands to her ears, briefly, smiled faintly, and then melted off into the night.

One of my favorite things about their gradual slide into godhood: the way people's belief in them changes them

Sister, Lassair’s tone was affectionate and exasperated at once

big fucking mood

Right at the moment, Adam was silent, and letting her lead, and Sigrun didn’t like it.

adam is being silent, what’s not to like

For him to completely abdicate things to her control made her feel oddly twitchy.

There's probably a thing here about her self-image as a weapon to be pointed BUT the gender disparity of it makes me twitchy.

She pictured, just for a moment, flying in the clouds of the construct room of the Odinhall, the physical space that integrated and interacted with the Veil, on some level. Nothing but blue skies and patches of clouds. Thermals. Níðhoggr, chasing after her, doing barrel rolls. Sigrun’s eyes snapped open; she had no idea how the dragon had entered her mental space, but . . . she’d had fun with the creature.

oh just you wait

“She could have been infiltrating the group!” the younger bear-warrior defended their mutual mentor.

coulda been. wasn’t.

Adam, for his part, hoped his Judean-manufactured bullet-proof vest was up to the task

Is a manufacturer error too much to hope for

“With respect, my lady . . . I will not release my prisoner until the valkyrie tells me I can. Because I doubt absolutely everything I see right now. There’s been too much illusion, and too many lies.”

vidarr is more badass than you

Hel’s face had snapped around to face her father, and Sigrun could feel waves of hatred, almost palpable, oozing from the goddess. Reginleif, however, began to laugh. Peal after peal of laughter, glorious and cold, rang out from the captive valkyrie. “Oh, how precious,” Reginleif said. “Our father has begotten another twisted wretch to join the rest of us in our misery, and one of his first-born is jealous.”

loki’s family needs serious counseling

It carried with it the taste and smell of fresh snow, and she wondered, absently, if there might be a late blizzard outside at the moment. It seemed, somehow, appropriate.

imagine that

“So that you could build an army in secret to fight by your side, in Ragnarok? So that you could launch a pre-emptive strike on the Aesir, and destroy Valhalla?”

Don’t be absurd, Loki snapped, raising his head, his eyes suddenly blazing so fiercely, that Sigrun winced and covered her eyes, as did all of the mortals around her. Only Hel seemed able to meet that gaze. In every prophecy there is, the words are clear. Loki the deceiver begins Ragnarok, and loses. And dies. Why would I ever wish to begin a war I cannot win? Has anyone ever considered that? Hmm? Have you, you thick-headed, stubborn son of Thor, ever considered that I am the repository of every ‘unmanly’ trait that your warrior culture disdained in your Iron Age? Magic? Cunning? Intelligence? Stealth? Ingenuity? So what if I do not meet my foes on the plain of battle. I’ve already won. This modern era is entirely to my liking, and my brothers and sisters among the Aesir rarely laugh at me anymore. I like humans. I like your far-viewers and your dramas and your comedies. I like your absurd lives and your noble dreams. I like seeing humanity walk on the moon. I want to see what happens next. Why would I ever seek to destroy all of that?

long quote, but second-favorite loki

(first favorite is a god of war spoiler)

Times change, Sigrun thought, as paradigms realigned inside her mind. Gods change with them. But is Loki himself capable of change?

so close to a revelation

Sigrun looked away from Loki’s brilliant eyes, and suddenly savage countenance . . . and the room rippled for her, again. She strained with every bit of her othersight, and felt as if she were making headway. The ruined equipment against the walls shimmered. Shifted. Became intact cylinders, each taller than a man, which hummed, softly. Awareness, suddenly, of heat in the building, as well as the death-cold from the outside winds. Snow drifted around the cylinders, blown in from outside, melting into puddles around the equipment. Cables all over the floor, run through channels cut into the poured-stone. Runes, etched into the poured-stone, all along the channels.

:(

Tyr did not understand the prophecy, as I did. My curse will remain upon you, until the end of the world. In a very real way, my curse on you might even help forestall it. Naglfar, I name you. The boat that will carry our hopes at the end, and beyond. But until that day, anything I can do, I will do, to hold Ragnarok at bay. You do not have to like it. You do not have to approve of it. It simply is what it is.

I grieve for sigrun but also loki is trying to save the literal world

Othersight as truthsense. What was an illusion, but another form of lie?

this is what I’m talking about. combine your shit to make new shit.

Vanity, the god murmured. I do so love a good show, and yet, my dignity has always ever been the first thing stolen from me.

:((

“The power of the gods already is in every hand,” he said, and drew Caliburn from its concealed-carry holster at his back.

See, we know it's the god-killer, but they don't, and I am uncomfortable with comparing firearms to divine might.

“You do not have to kill, if you do not wish to,” Sigrun whispered, letting her head sink to the side. You have as much choice as any other being. You are free, you are beautiful, you are untamed.”

and that’s how you steal a dragon

Something hit Sigrun. It was cold and dark, and she felt as if every cell in her body was trying to rupture at once. Needles of ice, digging down into her consciousness, slicing down every nerve. Blackness began to beckon, but something in her resisted. Awakened. Reached out, and embraced the cold, swallowed it whole. It . . . almost felt good. Is this what being drunk feels like? Sigrun wondered. I thought the good part happened before the ‘every part of your body trying to kill you for being stupid’ part.

and that’s how you steal a death god

“God damn her,” Adam said, and it was not a casual oath at all.

Look, I know reginleif is - forgive me - The Dragon for this arc, and has done some long-con, ultimately futile shit, but Adam just pulled Caliburn on her for *breaking Sigrun's nose*. Good thing there wasn't a godslayer around in the first scene of the first book, huh?

And then the bear-warrior charged Hel.

magnus rushes in

She could see surges of energy, shearing off of him, arcing like solar prominences, one lashing out and catching . . . Saraid’s cool green presence, somewhere behind Sigrun.

you leave saraid the fuck alone

“Matrugena, you’re fucking insane,” Kanmi said, in a tone of awe.

he says what we’re all thinking

How do I make this stop?

maybe if you’d let Freya TEACH YOU you’d KNOW THAT, SIGRUN

This is not who I am, this is not what I am, I am who I am, and nothing more, I am nothing more, I need nothing more, I am a sword in the hand of the gods, let this pass away, shouldn’t have relied so much on this crutch today . . . .

sigrun I love you but also I am going to throttle you

Something searing-cold seethed through her, and Sigrun thought it felt like regret. Tell Fritti . . . I will never use the boy as an avatar, not even if it is my only way to return from the Veil. All I ever wanted . . . was freedom. To enjoy this rich world. I give that to him, as I have never had it, myself.  I give it to her, too. Tell her . . . it wasn’t all a lie. She has the love of a god. Perhaps not the one she would have chosen. But she has it, nonetheless. Care for them. Protect them. Guide them.

honestly loki deserved better. dude just wanted to hang out and watch soaps.

Adam told the beast, and tried very hard not to think about how bizarre it was to be speaking to the creature as if to a peer.

oh just you wait, bucko

“I sometimes feel like I’m walking in at the midpoint of a play,” he noted, tiredly. “I never know entirely what’s going on around me.”

No, you just don't pay attention. That or you act like such a brat about magic and summoning that no one wants to talk to you about it.

“[...]if I had the choice, between doing things people didn’t like, and knowing it would save the world . . . and keeping my hands clean, and letting it burn?” Kanmi grimaced. “I’d be red to the elbows.”

kanmi <3

How can any woman, whatever her shape, love what she has been forced to bear?

shut up the fuck, adam

The newcomer raised her head, and the cloak fell back from her face. Long hair, in a braid, but silver-white. Storm-gray eyes, old and weary, and a face lined by years. And her body, under her cloak, was covered in open, bleeding wounds that were cut into her body in the form of runes. As if someone had taken a carving burin to her with great care, but without mercy. No beauty or grace to them, unlike the tattoos that marked his own skin. These were just incised, brutally, into every inch of her flesh. A raven sat on her shoulder, preening her hair, or at least seemed to; whenever Flamesower looked at it directly, it was gone, but its shadow returned whenever he looked away. And there was a spear in her hand, limned with blue-white fire.

my daughter

Flamesower found a comfortable hummock of ground under an ancient tree, and sat down, pulling her with him. She actually leaned against him, which was both startling and a blessed relief.

the eternal ship

Flamesower kissed Stormborn’s hair, and they stared together into the green leaves above their heads, and let the silence pervade them.

I don't have a comment, this is just a sweet image

Their bodies were tools. Instruments. For them not to function as they should was more than just an affront; it went deeper even than shame. It was . . . personal failure.

Y'know, I blame Medea for a lot of Sig's shit, but I feel like the Odinhall has some shit to answer for, too

[..]she had dim memories of Freya, whispering lessons into her mind when she’d half-drowsed in the Odinhall, and Sigrun clenched her teeth. Tried to drive them back away. But they wouldn’t be denied, and . . . the information might be useful.

which somehow did not occur to you before

Not mine. Freya’s. And I will ask her to take it back.

dkfjadslf

Sigrun exhaled, wondering, absently, why her breath didn’t hang like a white cloud in the chill air.

Would not attach a firing assembly in place of the hilt, load the . . . disfigured, malformed creation with shot and powder, and then attempt to fire it. The blade made into a barrel would shatter, and like enough cost the smith his life as the pieces went flying. The contraption would be neither gun nor blade, and equally inept at either task required of it.”

is this a dig at ff8? because I’ll fight you over ff8

And yet, is it not your responsibility to use every gift you have, to aid our people, yourself? And still you ask me to take that ability from you?

THIS IS WHAT I’M SAYING

The more power someone had, the less human they became . . . it might be an axiom for some tragic Hellene play or another, but that didn’t make it any less true.

so literally all of your friends are inhuman. good job, sig, adam has made you terrible

Would Adam even know who she was?

not seeing the problem tbh

Adam . . . hadn’t been aware that there was anything more personal between Trennus and Saraid than the contract they’d had for decades

YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR. YOU CALL YOURSELF HIS BEST FRIEND.

They’re spirits, they’re not human, and you can’t judge them by human standards

monogamy is not a prerequisite for humanity, ADAM

Sigrun looked bereft on realizing that her old friend had been taken away . . . something that stung at Adam’s conscience a bit.

yeets Adam off the face of the earth

“Caetia! You’ve been holding out on me!” Kanmi’s voice, as the man was distracted from his and Min’s conversation with Lassair. He bared his teeth in a grin nearly as wolfish as that of a fenris, and Adam could see Sigrun’s startled reaction from across the room. 

“Holding out on you? How so?” 

“You never told me that shit-talking is an integral part of your culture. I am a world-champion shit-talker. I could have been your king, and I never even knew. I am aggrieved, Sigrun. Sorely aggrieved.” Kanmi folded his arms across his chest and grinned at her.

I love kanmi so fucking much

“You  could choose not to see. And you could certainly, failing all else, choose to keep your mouth shut.” Sophia sighed. 

“And cut half or two thirds of myself away, and throw it in the midden, the way you do? I’m trying to help you, Sigrun. I really wish you’d see that.”

sophia deserved better

“So, what else, besides a lifetime supply of flea collars and squeaky toys?” 

I love Vidarr

“So, are you going to marry me?” 

“Do they let people marry their dogs these days?”

I also love Ima

Sigrun bit out, harshly, “Seiðr is no gift of mine.”

just teach kanmi’s kid, sig

Unofficially . . . thank you. Officially, could we . . . hire you as a nurse? So you’re at least on the payroll?” 

“I don’t have a medical certification. Just a teaching one.” 

“We can work on that. Night school, that sort of thing.” Her official position thus became refugee consultant, and that made Fritti laugh every time she heard it. But she worked at the clinics at the refugee camps every morning, and with the children every afternoon. She asked questions, as she’d learned to do in all the petty kingdoms of Caesaria Aquilonis, and did her best to provide answers to all sides. She became . . . an intermediary. An intercessor. Making the culture of the refugees understandable to their benefactors, and vice-versa. Just as she’d been trained to do, from a young age. Just in a far different part of the world than she’d ever expected to have to do so.

1. Fritti is a good egg

2. There's a thing where everything starts centering around Judea, because it's the only place that's safe. It's the only place Sophia doesn't have visions, the only place she doesn't see being destroyed. It's where everyone's wyrd seems to be leading them.

“Which god binds you?” 

That, she generally declined to answer, mostly out of fear. But as the months stretched on, she became aware of a distinct strand of . . . mythologizing . . . that was spreading among the refugees. She wasn’t sure where it came from, though she strongly suspected the gods themselves of taking a hand in it. But in this new mythology, Loki was the Sacrificed God. The one who had given his life for his people. And who had left behind a son, fathered on a mortal woman, who was now divinely touched as well. The god who might, some day, return in time to fight the end of the world, but who would be lamed or weakened by his old and bitter wound, and would need to be renewed. Like the Fisher King of Gallic lore, Fritti recognized.

I don't really have a note, I just like the idea of the nature of gods changing based on how people perceive them (see also: saraid)

But she was spending three or four months at a stretch in the north right now, and he strongly suspected that if she weren’t married to him, she wouldn’t be taking any time away from the plight of those in Europa at all. The fact that she wasn’t here was a substantial adjustment, and it meant that he couldn’t pull her close at night. Bury his nose in her hair, smell the apple blossom shampoo, and relax, knowing that his personal world was in its orbit.

she’s not your fucking blankie

They were housed next to forensics, but where forensics had gleaming, stainless steel workbenches and microscopes, and the best calculi in the building, the counter-summoning department had a dozen tiny offices for foreigners who’d been recruited for their summoning abilities.

y’all are gonna regret not treating your summoners better, just sayin

“She wouldn’t look at herself, I take it?” That long-ago day had been mind-numbingly frustrating.

Maybe stop trying to make people do stuff they're clearly uncomfortable with??? When it clearly stems from ptsd?????? Fuck off, Adam

And yet, he knew precisely what her answer would be, if he handed her the journal. That weather was weather, that she was a valkyrie, and that she had no control over such things. She was what she was, nothing more, nothing less. And how could he fight that fight with her, when every time she got ready to leave for the north, he could hear her throwing up in the bathroom just before departure? Because even her god-born body was rebelling at whatever the stress was, that was putting shadows under her eyes. And every time she vomited like that, the weather outside would shift. Cold fogs rolled in, the kind that might well convince air traffic controllers to ground the planes, at least for a while.

Both of them frustrate me so badly at this point

Adam shrugged. “She’s part of your family. You two are . . . official . . . in a sense, right?” 

Trennus winced. “We’re soul-bound, yes. I think Lassair and she negotiated out how much each of them gets, but I think it’s a fifty-fifty split. They didn’t really tell me the details.”

that’s not how that’s supposed to work, y’all talk to trennus

Shut up and do the work, ben Maor.

best thing he’s ever said

They had to put up with the Roman temples; Rome didn’t insist that they worship Roman gods, and so long as they didn’t vandalize Roman temples, everyone had gotten along fairly well for two thousand years. The area of Little Nippon was a small neighborhood, all things considered, and most of the people who lived there were engineers, and involved in the aerospace industry. They kept their kami-worship mostly inside their own houses.

ah yes, the good, well-behaved immigrants

“The whole world’s gone crazy. But if the crazy saves your life, what are you going to do, but say thank you?”

I don’t have a comment, I just like this line

“I cannot. I am mortal. I cannot cross into the Veil unassisted.”

eat the fucking apple

Lassair’s sunny smile only provoked more of a snarl from Ima, and Sigrun sighed internally. Sometimes Lassair, in spite of her wisdom in some matters, seemed to be ever-so-slightly tone-deaf.

That's a frigging understatement

She couldn’t even describe what happened next. Couldn’t visualize it. Niðhoggr found a burst of speed, leaped forward through the air, and rolled his huge bulk around, so that suddenly, he was under her. Twisted his head, on his long neck, back to look at her, and then actually used his snout to push her down. Sigrun’s backside hit his scales—white-cold death seething under the hide—and she held on, reflexively, as the beast launched himself, in a sinuous streak, for the clouds.

nith is a good egg

Sigrun forgot how tired she was, how much she hurt, as the breath was stolen from her, and she pressed her face against the scales to protect herself from the wind, laughing out loud in pure abandon. She thought they might be outpacing sound itself.

More Laughing Sigrun 2kForever

Sigrun froze in place, her mind locking. “He’s not a pet. He’s a . . .” Gods. “Companion. Ally. Friend.” 

She couldn’t even count the number of teeth that suddenly exposed in reaction to her comment, each of them glistening in the street lights.

BE NITH’S FRIEND

“You know, I thought I was supposed to be the only one who got to make you look this wild.” His voice was teasing. “You’ve got a new lover, hmm?”

yeah about that

Unfortunately, Bastet had chosen to demand of Bodi, “Why do you never answer my letters?” right in front of everyone. 

“Perhaps a conversation for another time,” Kanmi had murmured. “This is Himi’s day.” 

“I want to know why my son does not speak to me! I want to know what poison you’ve poured in his ears!”

fuck offffff bastet

Finally, Bodi had turned on Bastet, after her third or fourth plaint on the topic of you do not call and you do not write. “Why should I?” Bodi asked, with sudden, terrible bluntness, and Kanmi had winced, seeing a hint of his own anger in his son’s usually cheerful face. “I am a sorcerer.” His hands suddenly filled with flame, and the people at the linen-dressed tables all around them ducked in fright, and a waiter dropped a tray of dirty dishes at the sight. “My father is a sorcerer. The woman who raised me as if I were her own—my mother—” and Bodi’s eyes found Minori’s startled ones, “is a sorcerer. Even my little sister looks to have more power than can really be healthy.” Bodi doused his fires, and then ran one light tan hand over Masako’s dark cap of hair. “You made it clear that you hated Father for what he is. What do you think I am?”

bodi is a good boy

Subsequently, Bodi had chided his older brother, before they all left for the airport, “Why’d you even invite her, Himi? She wasn’t around when we were children. She wasn’t around for us when we were adolescents. Then she tried to steal us. Why did you have to invite her?” 

“I . . . feel sorry for her, Bodi.” Himi’s voice had been embarrassed and angry at the same time. “She’s got no one left but us. She needs someone.”

no she doesn’t, fuck bastet

And Trennus, when caught away from Lassair, say, at the office? He tended to wear a slightly worried and preoccupied expression on the topic of his children. Praetorians were well-paid. But that many mouths to feed had to be expensive. Kanmi had a feeling that Trennus might prefer not to have any more with Lassair. But how precisely did you tell a fertility spirit to stop being fertile?

“lassair I would like to stop having kids” look there I did it

In the main, she looked like a human-sized version of Ima.

she looks like a female youko kurama, is what she looks like

“Because your gender is purely arbitrary,” Kanmi suggested, raising his eyebrows. “You could as easily be male.” 

Yes, but I think this is much more comfortable for everyone involved. Well, mostly.

trennus is bisexual fite me

And, as usual, on walking in when the children were all present and accounted for, ben Maor looked over at Sigrun and said, “We really need more furniture.” 

“The children may all sit on each other.” 

“They’re already stacked three high.” 

“So long as they do not teeter and fall over, I do not see a problem.”

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down

“At this point, an altercation broke out, and the refugees began to assault the Atenist relief workers, some of whom, purportedly, made accepting a pamphlet entitled Aten’s Message for You  to be a prerequisite for refugees to  receive their meal rations.”

so the salvation army

Kanmi heard ben Maor groan as the reporter’s face gave way to a series of interviews with protestors, one of whom was Mikayel ben Maor.

can we sacrifice mikayel to bring loki back

“I’ll admit, I’d love to see the look on his face,” Kanmi said, “if you had him in this room, and that dragon happened to look through the window. Sigrun, how much do I have to pay you to arrange this, with photographs for posterity?”

kanmi gets me

“You do realize, Min, that I have no objections to you fantasizing later, so long as you don’t object to me fantasizing about the exact same thing.” The rather dazed, if slightly guilty smile Minori sent him was acknowledgement—and reward—enough.

If you relax, you will hear it. Be at peace, and be in the moment. I would never harm you. You are my sister, and I love you. Saraid’s wide green eyes held an entire forest, and, fighting every instinct that said resist, Sigrun managed to settle back, and permitted Saraid to finish unraveling her hair.

just ease her into that polycule

or the Vale in the Veil

trennus.

You went into the depths of the Veil. You went into the Dark. 

And you hunt there now. Saraid’s voice was excited. I will go with you, whenever you like. I have always longed to explore the deeps. And now, you’re Worldwalker.

name upgrade

Mikayel was clearly baiting him at this point. Getting in his hits, because Adam had ignored or let the comments fly past him, for years. Not this time, however, as Adam’s fist slammed into his brother’s jaw with . . . really rather satisfying force, and Mikayel staggered backwards, spitting blood.

the only good thing adam ever did

After a while, Latirian looked back down into the cradle, and let out a shriek that woke Vorvena and made Fyriacus and Enica start crying in their room. “She’s a puppy!” Latirian yelped, down the hall. “She just turned into a puppy!”

shapeshifting babies are honestly my worst nightmare. I can’t keep track of the regular human one half the time

And where Mama was all sun and fire, Aunt Sigrun was . . . moonlight and ice. Like two parts of triplets, with Aunt Saraid as their third sister. But Aunt Sigrun felt older than Mama did, and that made no sense. As old as night. Of course, that doesn’t make sense, either, Latirian scolded herself. Day and night are the same age. Don’t be stupid.

latirian gets it

“All right,” their aunt said. “Everyone hold out your hand. One cookie each. No more. You’re not spoiling your dinners.” And then she reached into the jar, without looking, and pulled out a cookie for each of them. 

One for each mouth. 

Then she looked inside, raised her eyebrows, and took the last one, for herself. “Have to make some more,” she said, in a tone of contentment, and went back to her office. 

“I think Masako’s daddy made the cookie jar magic,” Linditus piped up, once she was gone. 

“No! Magic can’t make something from nothing!” Masako was definite about that. 

“Then how does it work?” Rig asked, practically. 

“I don’t know,” Latirian told him. “That’s why it’s so much fun.

my favorite of sig’s powers. justice cookies.

Cold didn’t really bother her, in truth. Niðhoggr’s breath mostly tickled. Prolonged exposure to bitter, sub-zero temperatures and winds could start to make her feel it. In the north she’d worn woolen tunics and soft, fur-lined cloaks partially to fit in, and partially, though she’d never admit it, because she liked how the soft furs felt against her skin.

a coincidence I’m sure

Kanmi would eat this man for lunch and have room for piece of pie.

Tbf this is true of most people

“Oh, that’s difficult. A lot of marriages break up when a couple’s divided like that. Why, I heard that the sub-commander here and his wife were on the outs, for exactly that reason. He’s stationed here, and she won’t come live here, or something like that.” She shook her head. “He always has such sad eyes. I’d love to cheer him up.” 

Mazatl had, at this point, put a large hand over his face and eyes. Sigrun registered that, peripherally, as Ayala rattled on, “I heard he worked on the propraetor’s detail for a long time. I assume you two know each other? Sub-commander ben Maor, that is?” 

Sigrun’s sense of humor had evaporated by now, and she noticed Gho wrap his arms around his torso, shivering, as he glanced up at the air conditioning vent.

Sig please don't freeze the newcomer babies they don't know any better

Yelling at him would be like kicking a puppy with an incontinence problem. That being said, I really like these boots, and wish that he would stop urinating on them.

sig don’t kill the babies

No. The only path open to me, is to fight. The damnable othersight. Freya’s teachings. And anything else. Resistance is all  I know . . . .

siiiig

“I don’t think that Nith sees me as a mother.”

I wouldn’t say so, no

I’m the one who throws chalk at them when they aren’t paying attention.”

#kanmikin

And what a pleasure it is to see you again, too. This time, you do not appear to be choking out your life’s fluids. You’re much taller when you’re not crawling around on the ground. How interesting.

I like zhi a lot

And I greet you as well, small human. I must say, I am intrigued by how much defensive magic is in this house. One might think that you are suspicious of the neighbors. A smile that bared the flame-like teeth again.

I just really like zhi

She hadn’t thought that she’d been carrying enough coins, but every time she opened her poke, there were just enough coins to cover the costs at each residence. Going to have to visit the bank tomorrow and make a withdrawal, I suppose.

justice coins

“Would you believe that I made an enemy of the ground?” Sigrun offered, weakly. 

A look. “Did it win?” 

“. . . I definitely did not come out the victor in that battle.” Sigrun sighed. “I couldn’t handle the g-forces when Nith decelerated. I, er, fell.” She grimaced. “I couldn’t quite get control back before a roof and I had a brief engagement, which I also lost, and then the ground and I had a similar affray. The bones are healing.”

I fought the ground and the ground won

The Goths weren’t proselytizing. They kept their religious practices inside their area of town, as much as the Romans kept the worship of Jupiter, Juno, Venus, and Mars inside their temples, and the Nipponese and Hellene scientists and engineers kept their own faiths tucked away, as well.

Not that they should HAVE TO; having a religious ceremony in public isn't proselytizing

Standing on a stage in front of a projector was a fenris. One wearing, to Adam’s total disbelief, wire-frame spectacles.

8D

“Well, Sari is there. And you all are, too. And . . . I just can’t put my finger on it. Something in my head said Judea, and I can’t say why.”

[nochiquinn]

part four: aw fuck now I gotta read the second one

“Oh, it’s Sasaki again? What is this, the third year in row she’s going to suggest that overuse of ley-energy is causing . . . what is it, weather-pattern changes?” 

“No, ground fault shifts and earthquakes. She’s an alarmist.”

Minori is precious and a genius and I will fight you

It’s as if something absorbed the energy,

something...or someONE?

Short-cropped hair, olive skin. Dark eyes, narrowed.

Just like Trennus has red hair in my head, Kanmi is black in my head, and it's so jarring when he's actually described. I guess it's too much to ask for there to be a black main character; the closest we got was Ptah, and he got shot up basically immediately.

Minori hated confrontation of any kind, but she’d at least been trained for combat. Confrontation in the social arena was so much worse.

Yeah! Fuck a diplomacy! I'm a Strong Female Character, I punch things to solve problems!

(I love Minori dearly but I cannot think of a single female character from this author who doesn't do combat in one form or another. Maybe from the Caesarion books but those are still so foggy in my head.)

Kanmi caught the way Minori’s eyes widened, her lips parted, and the sigh she gave, and his lips quirked. Lassair had that effect on men and women alike.

or maybe minori is just bi as hell

“You realize that you make absolutely no sense whatsoever?” Minori told him, frankly.

#kanmikin

“I have it on good authority that the world isn’t going to end till a valkyrie of my acquaintance gets pregnant, and considering the rate at which she and her husband are going, I think we’ve got time on that.”

he doesn’t KNOW - none of them do, yet - but still, kanmi, what the hell

Yes. Look! The cells just divided again. Oh, it’s so cute.

I fucking love Lassair. Yes, her learning she can "create" will become an...issue...later on, right now it's kind of adorable

“Our mama was bad,” he told her, solemnly. “She tried to steal us.”

the mouths of babes

“Stop it right now,” Eshmunazar told them, sharply, from the doorway. “Your mother isn’t a bad person. She made a few bad choices, that’s all. Bodi, there are monsters everywhere, but I’ll teach you how to fight them. Himi? What have I told you about calling your brother a baby? You’re supposed to help teach him and protect him, not run him down. Both of you, pick up your books. It’s dinner time.”

I love dad!Kanmi. Also: “There are monsters everywhere, but I’ll teach you how to fight them.” <3

Adam ben Maor expressed a type of male beauty—clean, compactly built, strong, but graceful, just as Trennus, looming to his left, expressed a different type of male beauty. Bulkier, and more . . . unrefined. Asha had an opulent kind of feminine beauty. Rich curves, a sweet face, and radiance, from within. The woman being introduced as ben Maor’s wife was also beautiful, but it was the beauty of a perfectly crafted katana.

bisexual disaster sasaki minori

Erida had just gotten married a few months ago, and they continued to write to one another in spite of that. It was a very solid collegial relationship, and nothing more.

nope, they fuckin

Sigrun pulled slightly away from Lassair; where the flame-spirit was very much a toucher, Sigrun was very much not. [...] Silent communion between the two, so unalike in so many ways, yet similar in others. God-born and spirit. Neither was quite mortal, and both were in love with mortal men.

The same mortal man, in fact.

Trennus. I'm talking about Trennus.

“Yes, but most of what you and Matru want to teach me is useless for someone my size, fighting someone your sizes,” Kanmi pointed out, acerbically.

my kink is when people point out adam is being insistent about something useless

“Technically, I could also imbue its edge with heat, so that I could shear more easily through an enemy’s weapon or armor, and cauterize on the way through flesh.” Sasaki shrugged. Caetia’s eyes had gone wide, and she’d tugged at the woman’s sleeve with a certain enthusiasm at that point. “Esh, you’ve been holding out on me for years,” the valkyrie accused.

“why didn’t you tell me I could kill people faster and more effectively?”

In Erida’s case, she’ll probably present her husband with a child or two, and then quietly start taking both birth control and lovers more to her liking.

putting aside the completely canon fact that kanmi and erida are fucking, kanmi is. missing some key facts in this assertion.

You are not helping, Emberstone. 

I really wasn’t trying to, Lassair. 

Unkind. 

That’s me, darling, that’s me.

#kanmikin

“Now,” Kanmi said, in a tone of resignation, “I have to go across the hall and kill my best friend. Excuse me while I find a pair of pants.”

I don’t even have a note for this, it just makes me giggle.

“Esh and Tren’s first report is due tomorrow,” Adam said, idly. “I wonder what they’ve found so far.” 

“Knowing them? Probably either a manure pile or diamonds. Possibly both in the same place.”

they’re multi-talented, okay, don’t be mean

“Surprised that my family was that poor? That I wore clothes my brothers had worn, before me, mended three times over before I got a chance to grow into them? That the building was rat-infested, and I could hear them rustling through the walls every night, squeaking and chittering? That sometimes, my brothers and I would be bitten by the rats, in the night?”

you gotta do something about that chip, kanmi, your whole shoulder’s gonna fall off

Mouthing the words under his breath, he extended his personal constructs out to cover her, and the corners of his mouth quirked up, faintly, as he felt her shift, and extend her barriers out to cover him.

ngl this is when I started to ship it

“I have been looking after myself for longer than you, your parents, and your grandparents have lived,” Cocohuay informed him, with a hint of hauteur.

[garnet voice] I am much older than you.

Baal’s teeth, I’m not good at this undercover shit.

yeah, you should keep that in mind. no real reason. just a good thought to hold on to.

And given the fact that every time Caetia frowns, I hear thunder in the distance . . . eh, could be coincidence.

Kanmi. Kanmi you’re smarter than that. Kanmi.

long quote, bc it’s all important:

They were also introduced to Cocohuay that afternoon, and Sigrun felt no more deception from the woman than Lassair did. The woman’s luminous eyes met Sigrun’s own with no hint of guilt or shame, but her stare was piercing . . . and then, the Tawantinsuyan woman said, in tones of heartfelt sympathy, “Oh, you poor thing. What god put his hand on you, to curse you so? Is this revenge upon your god, through you? They can be so . . .” The old woman sighed, and looked as vexed as if she’d found paint spread through a new wool rug, “. . . childish, at times.” 

Sigrun stared at her blankly, a prickle of unease running down her spine in an electrical sizzle. Adam told her that when she was agitated, she put off enough static electricity to make the hairs on the backs of his arms stand up. It was why, though he’d gotten her a lovely battery-powered watch for Yule two years ago, it had died inside of a month, and he’d had to replace it with an old-fashioned gear-run watch that she needed to wind every night. She wore it on her wrist now, and it even had a cover for the watch face, like a traditional pocket watch; she’d put their wedding picture on the inside. At the moment, Sigrun knew she was radiating enough electricity to operate a small appliance, just by the way Adam pulled his hand away from her, and the light snapping sound that followed the movement. “I do not understand your meaning,” Sigrun told Cocohuay, formally. “What curse?” 

“It’s a shadow over you. It shifts. Hard to see. Not surprised you missed it. Your eyes aren’t meant to see things like this. You are a warrior. From a war-like god. My lady is the moon and the sea and the birth of all young things. She takes sailors to their graves, but she gives back life.” Cocohuay shook her head. “No life in you, young one. Not while the shadow stays.”

Sophia tried to tell you

She was, when everything was reduced down to its base elements, a weapon. So was Adam, though Adam was capable of much more.

[strangling motions towards sigrun]

I prefer female form when I take a human shape. It’s the most comfortable for me, and the one Flamesower enjoys the most.

“the most” bisexual trennus confirmed (also I’m not quoting the whole thing but adam gets so twitchy whenever gender stuff comes up I hate him)

“So you could make yourself the most desirable sheep in existence, if you so chose.” 

. . . yes. I could. 

“Gods, Kanmi, you had to say it, didn’t you?” Trennus shook his head. “You’re as bad as my family.” 

“No, no. I didn’t say you were shagging a sheep. I said that Lassair was broad-minded enough and capable of making it an option.” Kanmi’s tone had been virtuous. “I am complimenting her.” 

You are not. You are amusing yourself at our expense. 

“It’s all right, Lassair, he’s just jealous,” Trennus said, long-sufferingly. 

“Baaaaa.”

I love my idiot children

Lassair was still standing much too close. Just like Asuka had done, years ago, in another life.

stop 👏 giving 👏 your 👏 female 👏 characters 👏 sexual 👏 assault 👏 backstories

And she had yet to say a single word about the physical relationship that Lassair had initiated with him.

saraid sitting in the back with popcorn and/or wine

She was steel, but she was air and water, too. She would not break. She would flow away from the blow directed at her, and not be cut, but would cut, in turn. “Her Name,” Minori whispered, “is Asha.”

minori is more badass than you

No! Truthsayer’s words were almost incoherent, but the sense of them was clear to Lassair. They will go on! They will go on and on and on, because this one enjoys suffering, because they would know all our secrets, the only way out is through, I will allow this to pass through me and over me and it will not touch me— 

I will end this— NO! They will cometheywillcometheywillcome. I am the daughter of a samurai and I willnotbreakIwillnotbowIwillnotyield. Neither will you!

much more badass than you

What felt like a cannon ball rammed into Lassair’s stomach, and she was thrown backwards—not out of the circle, but slammed against the invisible wall of force that was intimately bound to the symbols on the ground. It wasn’t just marks that held a spirit, but a summoner’s will. Lassair clutched her stomach, and reached inside. Verified that while there was bruising, everything, including the tiny spark that dwelled within, was safe. And then she raised her head, her red eyes glowing like coals. I will end you. You will die in fire.

lassair is also more badass than you

“True. Be ready to heal me, Sig. I don’t want to slow you down.”

oh NOW you’re okay with the healing

Trennus lowered his head, in respect, but watched out of the corner of his eye as Kanmi’s head rose.

“Kanmi No” - trennus, right now, probably

On and on and on like this. Trennus fumbled out his grimoire, and, his hands shaking too much to write, burned each Name onto the pages with a whisper of ley-energy. Each time promising the spirits, I will remember you. I will remember you. You will not be alone. I will remember.

I do not remember if he ever calls these in. But also: worldwalkerrrrr

—Willahelm and Jacobus Grahn. Stories for Children: One Hundred Traditional Tales, Ambrones Press, 1888 AC.

I actually read this one bc I’m nuts for retold fairy tales

Minori quickly croaked out a single phrase to focus her spell and bring it to life.

ryuuga wa ga teki wo kurau

Minori let her eyes crack open. She was hazy now, drifting just above the pain that completely filled her body. “Sayonara,” she whispered.

minori is still more badass than you

Flames began to lick along her forearms, stood out in her tumbled hair like a corona. Fire couldn’t harm her, couldn’t consume her. She was the phoenix, the living flame, eternally reborn, no matter what body she wore.

lassair is also still more badass than you

She had been three and then she’d been one, but now with Trennus, she was two, and if the child was born, she’d be three once more.

This is at the end of a long section about Lassair remembering when she and her two sisters were minor goddesses who fled when their worshipers started doing human sacrifices, and were forgotten as a result, until that one summoner found their Names. He burned Latirian and Inghean out first. All that's left of them is what Lassair was able to catch as they dissipated.

Lassair is much, much more badass than you.

(Also my eternal thing with triads)

“True. But not everything is a weapon.” Though, explain that to the Romans. I think they’d weaponize their fasces, if they could. Magic symbol, instrument of justice, and their favorite toy.

adam’s not allowed to be funny

This was a spirit. A very powerful spirit, but not god, as it were.

what happened to “I acknowledge that there are other gods, they’re just not my god”?

A valkyrie did not bow to a foreign god any more than a Judean did.

And we're immediately back to the usual phrasing. Maybe it's from Sigrun's pov? It feels like Adam's entire little tangent was written separately from the rest of the scene

“Their power, siphoned off to bind . . .” there wasn’t much way around the word, so he just said it, “gods [...]

Maybe "entities", the word you've used repeatedly in this context?

“Those . . . hardly seem enough to hold a . . . an entity such as yourself . . . in place.”

I give up

Adam had insisted on firearms training for all of them. Trennus personally preferred a bow with solidly enchanted arrows, but he’d checked out on the Velserk .45, mostly to humor Adam, and to keep the request from becoming an order.

my kink is the other characters realizing adam is a whiny brat

“She says Min’s been tortured for information,” he passed along, terselyl[...]

Kanmi, following along behind him, tossed back, curtly, “Then I’m going to kill every motherfucking one of them that touched her.”

protective kanmi is my favorite kanmi. well, it’s top 3

He inhaled again, and looked down; a green shimmer, shifting from lighter to darker, like leaves on a wind-tossed tree, encompassed his skin, rendering the tattoos on his forearms dark shadows under a nimbus of paler light.

forest spirit orisa skin

“It’s me! It’s me, Min, it’s just me, shhhh.”

nicknaaaames

“Your way took far too little time. I’d have turned his bones to powder for this, Min. And I’d have helped you stand up so you could put a foot on his throat while he suffocated to death under his own weight.”

 “. . . you . . . really . . . know what to say . . . to reach . . . a woman’s . . . heart.”

battle coupleeee

“You leave his body in the dirt, and spit on him if you want to in passing, but you don’t let him win, even a little bit.”

I don’t have a comment, this is just hardcore

“Though you two pretty much rescued yourselves.”

While I am glad Kanmi recognizes their badassery, did we need him to VERIFY it? Could we not have just seen them be badass and accepted it ourselves?

This is what a god should be. Altering ideas and perceptions with truth and ideas.

You're thinking of political leaders. Gods should EMBODY truth, and allow people to make up their own minds, bc free will

a merry, fey little smile

well that’s problematic phrasing

Entropy incarnate.

they’re fighting the Lone Power pass it on

“You didn’t ask,” Minori reminded him, tartly. “You didn’t even want to test my skills, because at a certain level, almost every spell can be deadly.”

minori doesn’t need your tests to prove she’s a badass

Adam was firing, uselessly,

this is a very tense scene but this line pleases me

and ripped the knife out,

always leave the knife in!!

There really is a backroom somewhere, where all the gods chitchat.

dressing room RP

Livorus rose, smoothing his clothing, and moved to the door. Tapped on it, and waited for his guards to open it. “I believe we are experiencing earthquakes,” Livorus informed them, calmly. “I would like to take a stroll in a garden away from walls and ceilings until they pass.”

livorus is more badass than you

A pillar of fire reached skywards, and astronauts working on the Libration space station and the L’banah moon base reported seeing an orb of what looked like fiery plasma rise, at high speed, from the planet’s surface. The ball of plasma actually hovered in orbit near the space station.

what the literal fuck

News crews scrambled to get footage that would have been called a clever hoax by residents of other nations

pics or it didn’t happen

Sigrun was distantly aware as the clouds opened up, and frozen rain and hail started to fall, a heavy, pounding downpour

Sigrun could have sworn she saw blackness pouring out of Supay’s body, rising as a mist, and something cold and silvery leaped out with it, aimed like a spear at her own heart. Sigrun jerked back, her own spear still caught in the body, and slapped a hand to her chest, looking for the surely mortal wound, and found . . . nothing.

congratulations you’re a death god

Saraid, sister . . . can you help us? 

I will help him. Saraid’s voice held reproof and grief, but Lassair didn’t understand it.

lassair, baby, trennus did something very reckless and saraid is blaming you - and also maybe a little upset that he gave literally his entire soul to someone besides the spirit that’s been watching over him since before he could tie his own shoes

But Saraid left no marks of herself, no traces.

this is a counterpoint to lassair infusing herself into the parts of Trennus she healed, and an important one.

Saraid. That was the name of the hind that followed him wherever he went. His first ally in this place. She trailed along behind him. Told him when there were traps. Told him which other spirits might make trustworthy allies. Guarded him, guided him. He didn’t know how he knew her, but he was indebted to her. Loved her. And realized that when she was present, a second cord—a much finer one, like gossamer—tied him to her, and her to him. This is as it is meant to be, she told him. We are bound, we two. We always have been. Because we always will be.

Context: tren's spirit is in the Veil and he's trying to follow his bond with lassair back to his body, and possibly really noticing his bond to saraid for the first time in a while

His last sight was the leaf-dappled eyes of the hind. He thought she looked joyous, but also deeply sorrowful, at the same time.

saraid :(

His body felt heavy. Leaden. He could barely move, and felt trapped inside of it, horrible, lumpen thing of clay that it was.

relateable

He gave himself to me, Lassair explained, simply. He is my servant now, body and soul. I am in him, and he is in me, and we will be, forever. 

At that moment, Saraid gently disentangled herself from his body, and faded out, demanifesting.

you might have already been kinda spoken for there, big guy

[...]it will only fire in your hands, or the hands of one of your line. Inti trusted you. Not all of mankind.

Adam is definitely the person I want trusted with this responsibility

“And when we crash because the wings are icy, what then?” 

“I’ll melt the ice on the wings,” Kanmi retorted. “Or Lassair will, or Min will, or Caetia can get out and push. Just start us up.”

kanmi telling adam to shut up and fuck off is also in my top three kanmis

“Is there anything else we could have done, Sig?” 

“The die was cast before we ever came here.” 

“And now you sound like your sister.” Adam felt the ornithopter rock as a buffet of wind caught the wings, and adjusted course. That had actually felt as if the sky had reached out to slap him.

good

“By the time they finally give you an MRI and determine, yes, there’s been internal bleeding, you’re going to be in your eighties and have healed on your own, or dead.”

this is indeed my experience with most emergency rooms

He shook his head, clearly irritated, and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “You know how it is, when you get the math just right, and everything adds up, and everything works? You . . . add up, Min.” He shook his head again. “And you can’t stand me. It’s all right. Most days, I can’t stand myself. Get some rest before the meeting—”

kanmi you’re a dork

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t even sure I liked men until about ten minutes ago.”

relateable

“if it’s something you feel a need to hide from people . . . it probably actually is sex.”

this is in the context of minori being convinced that what asuka was doing to her “didn’t count”, but there’s a weird sex-shaming thread to it that I can’t put my finger on firmly enough to discuss properly

Minori shrugged a little, hating her sixteen-year-old self. Intensely.

#minorikin

“I have evidence that you weren’t even a technical virgin just now.”

that’s a myyyyyth

That being said, cheating is cheating. Doesn’t matter with which gender.”

1. bisexual does not mean “one of each”, KANMI 2. flashbacks to 16 when my then-boyfriend said “you can’t do that anymore” when I told him I was (at the time) bi

She might have been keyed up from adrenaline an hour ago, but sooner or later, she was going to remember that he was abrasive, rude, arrogant (not that it wasn’t warranted, but, still . . . ), and further remember that she couldn’t stand him.

“do you still like me?” “this is our 35th wedding anniversary”

She walked over, and, rather shyly, raised herself up on tiptoes to kiss him on the lips.

grumbles slightly about all the couples having taller men (and also succumbing to the “tiny asian woman” trope just so kanmi could be taller than her) (there’s probably something moderately misogynistic about “tall women can’t be in relationships with people shorter than them” in here somewhere but tbh I’m tired)

But now, every time she looked at someone, she saw . . . colors. Like a halo, all around their bodies, shifting like the aurora borealis, but each person had a different, distinct shade.

Sig.

No, Lassair told her, gently. Your eyes are simply more open now. You see as I do, sister.

Siiiiiig

“Wine is the drink of a civilized man, not some form of beer. Unless it is a choice between that, or dysentery.”

I love Livorus to death and then he comes out with pretentious shit like this

I ask that Inti’s great temple be rebuilt, and that his tomb be venerated, and that you continue to love and worship my beloved, as the Sacrificed God. In the hopes that, through your love, he might one day be reborn.

take notes, that’ll be on the quiz

Something is wrong with me. But she didn’t volunteer a word about the weapon. Or her condition.

siGRUN

“The sun died, too, but there was still a dawn,” Sophia replied. “What is a god but the symbol of something greater? A concept. A belief. Inti was life, and he died. Supay was death, and now there’s new life!”

see, sophia knows

“Sigrun,” Sophia said, and suddenly, it was the voice of the frightened ten-year-old again. “Sigrun, please. I knew you would be angry. And you have no idea how sorry I am. But you’re never going to get what you want.”

Sophia is objectively the best character in these books. All she ever does is try to help the people she loves and she gets rebuffed every time bc her mental illness makes her erratic.

And eventually, as the tears faded, and they began to kiss

there’s something wrong with this sequence of events

Sigrun had described the colored auras, and had seen intrigue rise in the goddess’ golden eyes, and the significant look Freya shot Odin.

“I fuckin told you”

“I should have been there, on that mountainside, not you.”

gettin kind of defensive there reginleif

Other than the palace of the Roman governor, ley-power was virtually untapped locally, and no one had honored house-spirits in the area in about three thousand years.

Flamesower? You may wish to put on a kilt. 

What? 

Stormborn is coming down the hall. You may wish to be dressed, unless you wish to impress her.

lassair ships it (lassair ships everything)

birth is an essential human experience

false

I did not intentionally put some of you into the child. I only patterned myself off of someone I admired. I did not know that I could create a life, much less that your patterns could pass to her.

This is parallel to Laetia intentionally patterning her AI "daughters" off of people she knew, most of whom were much less receptive

You could think of it as us being . . . sisters, in truth. Or very distant cousins. Lassair paused. Which we already were, anyway, Stormborn. You know this.

eat the fucking apple sigrun

[...] until one night, Bodi burst into tears, and Kanmi stopped in mid-sentence. “What’s the matter?” he asked, sharply.

“I don’t want you to argue,” the boy said, miserably. “I like Minori. I don’t want her to leave.”

bodiiii

Minori’s head, already on the surface of the table, couldn’t sink any lower. But she did feel as if gravity had, by some unknown quirk of physics, somehow just tripled.

the universal result of calling your parents

“I’m pretty sure about you, Min. You add up.”

heart eyes motherfucker

“Yes. There’s a big difference between the waitress at the corner taverna, who’s ‘only waiting tables until she’s discovered as an actress,’ and people who’ve actually worked to make themselves who they want to be.”

stoooooop thiiiiis

About five total responses all competed for control of Minori’s mouth at once. The one that won out was “Marry?”

this is a fair response, they’ve known each other for like six months

“I asked you to live with me. You said yes. Do I have to fly up there and pry this out of you with a crowbar?”

kanmi that’s not how marriage proposals work

“No rank. Probably not suitable. Marrying you, regardless. Assuming, yes, that you want to.”

and then kanmi was mordin for a second??? ? ??

Of course, she knew it wouldn’t work. But she had to go through the motions, anyway. Even though she knew that the pleasure would be transitory at best. Even though she knew she would see the face rising from between her legs to smile up at her as a rotting skull...

...and then she did see it as a rotting skull...

sophia deserved better

No, Sigrun, they’re god-born. They’re all god-born. You and the others just don’t want to admit to it yet. Then again, the neighbors in Judea are having enough trouble dealing with a summoner and his spirit-wife living next door, without them having to deal with the fact that the spirit-wife is actually a fertility goddess who takes out her own trash.

I just like the mental image of lassair in full phoenix-wing etherealness dragging a trash can to the street

She said she wanted a mortal life. And I know I’ll respect that until I can’t respect it any more.

eat the f u c k i n g apple, sigrun, for sophia’s sake if nothing else

There was no one in any world who would be strong enough not to let her destroy herself.

cries about sophia caetia

“It’s rude to speak so that others can’t understand you”

“in THIS COUNTRY we speak LATIN or maybe cimbric”

“Then why,” Medea demanded, her voice harsh, “didn’t you call and say he was going to be sick? Why didn’t you intervene and save your father’s life?”

Sigrun had never seen that black rage directed at Sophia before. She’d seen it, often enough, directed at her, but never at Medea’s own daughter. Sophia just looked at her mother, blankly. “Because I didn’t see myself calling. It was his time. He was always going to die this way. Just like you were always going to die of a stroke. It’ll be in about twenty years. You’ll be in a wheelchair for a while, paralyzed on the left side, and then the second stroke will finish the job in the nursing home.” Sophia tipped her head to the side. “And I know that telling you that won’t make you feel any better, or change the future at all. Why should I have told Fæder the details? It would only have preyed on his mind.” Sophia shrugged. “As this will prey on yours.”

Sigrun finally was able to weep for her father, and it started to rain, the water from the sky concealing the tears on her face.

I’m sure it’s a coincidence

Sophia’s hands were clenching and unclenching. “I’m glad I came, Sigrun,” she said, finally. “But I . . . I can’t do this again. I could do this, because it didn’t matter. But . . . this . . . was of my own free will.”

sophia deserves better

“But you still do what you see yourself doing, anyway.” 

A pause, and a sigh. “Yes. Always.” A little smile as Sophia looked up at her. “You’re a servant, and I’m a slave, Sigrun. That’s the difference between us. But it’s all right. In another life? I’ll be free.”

[bangs pots and pans together outside Deborah Davitt's house] WHERE'S BOOK FOUR? WHERE'S THE BOOK WHERE SOPHIA IS HAPPY? WHERRRRRRE

aaaand that’s book 1. I’ll start book 2...eventually. I get much angrier at sigrun in that book.

[nochiquinn]

HEY LOOK I STILL DO THIS I just haven’t posted it bc tbh these sections are LONG and it’s kind of a chore. But here we are, Part Three: Fuck Bastet (don’t fuck bastet)

[...]but their hair was closer to his shade of brown, and had more of the wavy consistency of his, as well—something Bastet muttered gratitude for every time she worked a comb through the boys’ hair. 

I can’t tell if this is racist or not so I’m erring on the side of yes

Before Kanmi could even reply, she’d opened the door to the hall, and the pedagogue was outlined in the frame, one hand raised to knock. “Come in, come in,” Bastet urged the Hellene woman. “I’m going to be late. I’m so sorry. I’ll talk with you about Himi’s mathematics tomorrow!” The door closed behind Bastet, and Kanmi shook his head.

hug your fucking kids

“No,” she said, without changing expression. “I’m trained in long spear and half-spear, Forsetti. You do not even qualify as a dart.”

This line always fucks me up bc Lin's squad name in SoR is Forseti and my knee jerk reaction is "leave Linianus alone, he's a good boy"

“My dear boy. If I were to bring you to such an event, we would lose a lictor among the various panels, and possibly to the mercantile booths.”

[superbutterbuns voice] ya nerd

“We know, from physics, that energy, like matter, cannot be created or destroyed.” He looked around at all of them, his expression as taut as Adam had ever seen it. “What happened to all [Tlaloc’s] unbound energy? Perhaps the identity behind it was destroyed, but the power was not. It could not be.”

yeah about that

Adam had opened his mouth to reply, and then paused and squinted.

hey look adam missed a chance to mansplain at sig, it’s a miracle

“You’d make it easier on yourself if you’d just admit to how old you actually are. I don’t understand the secrecy.”

it’s none of your FUCKING BUSINESS, ADAM

“All way beyond me. But I’ll file it all at the back of my head, in case I ever need it.”

"I have been on two consecutive missions that involved blood sacrifice, with every indication of similar missions to come, but I will in no way educate myself on how it works because I'm a tool"

“I, personally, have no problem with the fact that you’ll wear a bodice without a shirt underneath.”

this line is fine in the context of their conversation about judean modesty laws.

Adam did his best to keep his grin at bay and out of his voice. He really didn’t have a problem with the generous curves her outfits typically displayed.

this line is gross and creepy.

“Damn it, Sigrun. Do you have to make everything this hard?” He put down his cup with more force than he’d intended, and the handle snapped off in his hand. He stared down at it for a moment, before gingerly putting it on the table, beside the cup. He’d meant the lenses as a friendly gesture. Or something like that. He wasn’t actually sure at the moment what he’d meant by them, except that at the moment, her backpedalling was like a slap in the face. After a deep breath, Adam managed to level his tone. “They’re a gift.”

this is a totally normal response, I’m sure there’s nothing to be concerned about here

He’d be willing to bet that if he were to open the door in the wall to the north, which clearly led to her bedchamber, that there wouldn’t be a double bed in there at all.

And??? She lives alone???? And has for years????? fuck off, adam

His eyes moved up, cautiously; curving hips, narrow, taut waist, breasts that strained at the cloth, pink crests still visible underneath . . . feathers made of flame, the long peacock-like flare of them, white to white-gold, blue-violet eyes, all along the backs of her arms, and extending along sweeping, glorious wings that emerged from her back . . . . white hair, shot through with glitters of gold here and there . . . red-dyed lips, a pert nose, high cheekbones . . . and ruby-red eyes, fringed with long lashes.

there’s a bit of Breasted Boobily in here but it doesn’t bother me as much as it normally would bc lassair is trying to be as sexy and sexual as possible at all times

Bastet, for her part, on being introduced to her husband’s coworkers, had no idea what to do with them.

I’m about to quote a real long part bc Bastet is terrible

She’d never entirely understood how he’d gotten pulled into the Praetorians in the first place; his degree in technomancy at the University of Athens had been in an engineering specialty. She’d assumed he’d be taking a job with some engineering firm, possibly with the ley-grid, or, at most, that he’d have gone back to school to get his doctorate, so he could teach. Instead, he’d been drawn in as a levy to the legions, and from there, he’d been pulled into the Praetorians. She’d assumed it was for his technical acumen. She knew he was brilliant, in that regard, but everything he’d ever talked to her about, back in their school days, had been practical applications of magic to technology. Sending power through capacitors and vacuum tubes and wires to modulate it. The potential for calculi to speed up the mathematics needed for military enchantments. Things like that. The fact that he’d been tapped for a protective detail? She’d chalked it up to the fact that they needed someone to check if the telephones had been tapped and to ensure that the lights stayed on. 

The huge Pict was clearly a barbarian. Nevermind that his wrist-clasp was as gentle as if he held a baby chick in the palm of his hand; he was clearly one generation removed from frothing at the mouth and charging into battle, painted blue and naked. The long braids, the tattoos, the hairy arms, throat, and light beard, not to mention the ’kilt’? Since living outside of Nubia, she’d adopted many Roman and Hellene ideas. To dress as something other than Roman was to be a barbarian. And she’d done her best to be Roman in her demeanor and dress. 

The Judean man was at least a known factor. Many Judeans came to Tyre on business; their capital city was only thirty or forty miles from the provincial border, after all. This one, for all that Kanmi introduced him as the leader of the detail, looked younger than her husband, and that didn’t make sense at all . . . except that, well, Kanmi was an engineer, and this one, clearly, was a solider. Probably intelligent enough, but still, soldiers were knuckle-draggers. Everyone knew that. 

And the final introduction was to some Gothic tribeswoman, who wore, for some unknown reason, a cloak made of white feathers that came down to her waist, over the top of a leather bodice and black jeans. Cold eyes, cold face, cold hair, all washed-out and diluted-looking, like the third round of coffee poured from the same beans. Baraka, the third pot was called. Bastet had given her husband a quick, cautious glance, trying to discern if he liked this ice-pick as the Gothic woman had given her a quick, impersonal wrist-clasp. Bastet’s eyes had narrowed when she’d caught amusement in Kanmi’s glance at Sigrun. He did like the woman, but the female seemed to have about as much personality as the spear she carried in one hand. And with that, a shock of relief, in Bastet’s mind. Oh. She’s a tribade. 

And with each of them neatly categorized in her mind, Bastet had dismissed them all. Two barbarians and one Judean, none of them particularly intelligent. They were the workhorses of the protective detail, the ones who were in charge of throwing themselves in front of any bullets or arrows destined for the propraetor, and her Kanmi was their technician, the one who made sure that their radios and devices worked.

ding dong you are wrong

She didn’t have to worry about Kanmi if he wasn’t in danger, and clearly, a technical specialist in charge of radios and electronics wasn’t going to be in much danger.

I can understand this reasoning but it’s also so stupid and unrealistic.

“It’s the mystical equivalent of him raising his kilt and waving the fasces around.”

there was almost definitely a better way to say that, kanmi

Livorus, who clearly could hear every word from inside the car, asked, mildly, “Waving the fasces around?” He paused. "I've never quite heard it expressed quite this way before. Please. Elucidate."

There was a pause as the lictors all scrambled hastily to find something—anything, really—to say in response, besides, from Kanmi’s expression, Shit, he wasn’t supposed to hear that . . . .

congratulations, you played yourself

Adam remembered, belatedly, that his brother had adopted much more conservative ways since marrying Elah; her family was actually quite orthodox in most respects. And he’d gotten deeply involved in their entire social circle over the years, which had altered his views and behaviors.

as much as I hate adam, he doesn’t deserve mikayel. no one deserves mikayel.

“Imah,” Adam said, very quietly, and still from between clenched teeth. He didn’t dare speak any louder. If he did, he was going to start shouting, and from there, it would get progressively uglier. “I am unsure what part of no you did not understand the first three times I told you not, under any circumstances, to engage a matchmaker for me. That I would not, ever, consider an arranged marriage. That I can and will find someone for myself, when I’m ready and I choose to do so.” In spite of every effort, his voice rose anyway. “Your friends and their daughter should leave now. I have nothing to say to any of them, and I trust we will not meet again.” He saw the man’s face set in grim lines, and the wife and daughter’s expression crumble in humiliation, and he briefly regretted his intemperate words, but he was too angry at the moment to rein it in.

he kinda didn’t deserve this either. he does have at least two conversations earlier where his mom pushes for the matchmaker and he tells her not to.

“You all do have an unhealthy interest in the fasces today,” Livorus told them, from the door behind them.

well they’re getting pretty solidly dicked right now, so

“That tickles, Kanmi,” she informed him. 

“Oh, you say that now, with my wife in the next room? When I have to let that one slip by, unanswered? Unfair, valkyrie. Unfair.”

answer it anyway, fuck bastet

“Its claws. I cut its hand off above the wrist, but it’s . . . persistent.” A pause. “I’m at street center. Here it comes.” No terror. No fear. Just...plain, flat, numb words. 

Livorus hit the desk again, harder, one hand still over the mouthpiece of his phone, and began to curse, a quiet, steady, heart-felt string of invective.

Look, if Livorus and Sigrun had hooked up I would have had like a half-second of "this feels inappropriate" and then given in to my idiotic shipper heart

“I am a doctor,” Bastet said, trying to push her way into the room. “I’m not going to stand by, and watch someone butchered at the hands of an amateur.” 

“Rest assured, dear lady, I have extensive experience with battlefield wounds.” Livorus tone was dry. “Sigrun, my dear? Your choice. My hands, or hers.” 

“Yours, sir.” Absolute trust in her voice. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

dig that too many cooks vibe

The muffled sound from the back of Sigrun’s throat carried the imprint of syllables, though none were readily distinguishable. “That didn’t even require translation,” Kanmi noted.

swearing is universal

Trennus gave Sigrun one last, apologetic pat on the knee, even as she reached out and gripped her friend’s big shoulder. “It’s all right,” she told him. “Needed to be done.” A faint smile. “Even the binding outside...needed doing.” She focused in on him, now that the sickening pain was down to a dull, aching throb, and told him, “Thank you, Tren, for not letting me kick anyone.”

“You two are all right?” Kanmi asked, crouching down beside them for a moment. “All the noises were pretty loud.” 

“It was a little scary,” Bodi was willing to admit. 

“Bodi’s a baby. I wasn’t scared.” Himi folded his arms over his chest with a worldly air. 

“Well, then it was your job to make sure he wasn’t scared, wasn’t it, Himi?” Kanmi pointed out, reasonably. “Just because you’re older and bigger doesn’t mean you’re better than he is. It just means you have more work.”

Kanmi + kids = ♥

“Have you ever noticed, that when the only word someone can come up with to describe a woman is sweet, it’s actually code for vapid?” Adam returned, holding onto his temper. “She’s my age, almost twenty-six, and acts no older than sixteen. She has a four-year degree in art history, and you know what she’s done with it?” He paused. “Nothing. She could be a graphics designer for an advertising firm, she could be teaching art in a school, or she could be a museum docent. She is, instead, a shop clerk who sells lingerie. And, from what little I can decipher between the giggles, she gets a discount there, so half of her paycheck goes back to her employer every week. The other half of her paycheck appears to be dedicated to making stained-glass sun-catchers based on Nipponese themes. Oh, and apparently, she’s a Nipponophile, or would like to be. Though she doesn’t, apparently, speak the language. Or any language besides Hebrew and a smattering of Latin.” The fact that the girl had chattered about dressing up like a geisha and going to parties with her friends, who all dressed the same way, had set Adam’s teeth on edge. He suspected that she knew very, very little about what a geisha actually was. She just liked the image. He, on the other hand, had at least visited Nippon, while on leave from his Praetorian work in India.

There is actually a looot of the attitude Adam is popping off with here in everything I've read from this author. Lots of judging people's worth by their occupation. And it's really gross! In this specific instance, ADAM, don't be a dick to a perfectly nice girl just because you're mad at your mom for not listening to you.

“Her family somehow deferred her year’s required service in the JDF. Then her parents paid for her to go to college, and they’ve all treated it as a finishing school instead of an education. She’s gotten a college education, but instead of finding a profession, she’s still a shop-clerk at twenty-six. She clearly has no imagination. No aspiration. No determination. That’s a person who’s going to be a shop-clerk for the rest of her life.” Adam paused. The words were stark, and he knew it was probably unfair on such a short acquaintance, but this was the truth as he saw it. “I’m saying that I’m sure she was sweet when she was sixteen and she’s sweet now, and she’ll be just as sweet when she’s thirty-six, forty-six, and fifty-six, and that she’s going to die a very sweet old lady . . . who will never have had an interesting thought in her life. And she’ll have filled her days with a variety of completely useless hobbies involving making decorative items that no one actually wants, instead of doing or making anything that actually matters.” Adam exhaled. “So, yes. She’s pretty. She’s insipid. She’s vapid. And anyone who thinks I could spend more than ten minutes around her without putting a bullet in my own brain obviously has never met me in their life.” He gave his mother a direct look with those words. “Imah, you like her because she’s...easy. She’d never tell you no, she’d give you grandchildren, and I’d be bored out of my skull for the rest of my natural life. No. No more shidduchim, you understand me?”

yeah, like that. judgmental and gross.

And while [Livorus would] talk to any of his lictors about current law-making efforts with perfect cordiality, it was to Sigrun that he tended to unburden his mind about sociopolitical and historical issues.

sits in the corner and ships it

“You’re really a summoner?” the younger one asked, her eyes wide. She’d taken some time, in the past couple of hours, to go put some Egyptian kohl around her eyes, and had reddened her lips with Hellene lip-gloss. Even her cheeks were a little pinker now. Trennus thought it a rather odd reaction to the disaster zone outside, but he thought she might be afraid to be caught on camera by the news crews without having primped a little first.

trennus. trennus no. trennus you sweet summer child.

Behind the two girls, he could see Kanmi in the hallway. Leaning against a wall and laughing, silently.

kanmi never helps

Trennus looked down at her hand, a little uncertainly, but neither pulled away, nor reciprocated. These were Adam’s sisters, and it was probably just a friendly gesture.

t r e n n u s

[...] and security camera footage.” “I always forget that you have that available down here,” Livorus murmured. “I must admire its utility in the current situation, though I rather abhor the thought of a society where it might become prevalent.”

[cries in american]

They’re much faster than I am, and the air-intake on their engines could prove very problematic for me. I could be sucked in.”

no capes

“I’m not worrying about bullets. I’m worried about fire. I’m worried about being drowned where I stand, in open air.”

about that

The Chaldean emissary, herself, Erida Lelayn, was

a boss ass bitch

“Three spirits manifesting,” Trennus corrected, softly. “I’m sensing about a dozen others, between her and the bodyguards.” 

“I don’t see a damned thing,” Adam muttered.

good. I hope they eat you.

Lady Erida’s fine brows rose, slightly; Sigrun took that as an indication that Kanmi had just surprised them.

good, they should hook up

Kanmi dropped to the ground, coughing and choking, trying to expel his own body’s fluids that threatened to drown him. Drowned on dry land. I said it hours ago.

you jinxed it

Trusted her ability to see truth in people’s faces and eyes.

and yet question it constantly

— gods, what is it with my knees?—

relateable

“Keep in mind, any one of you tries to claim that this is a cultural artifact, and tries to take it back?” Trennus gritted out, “I’ll note that it’s in a wine cooler bottle and break it over your heads.”

that’s my boy

“Spirit, be known that your Name is...apparently Watermelon and Elderberry, from this day hence.”

I’m gonna name something this one day, I swear

Erida was an air elementalist.

air feeds fire, kanmi and erida should hook up

His bulletproof vest took the first couple of rounds, but the next six punched their way through.

NOT SO GREAT, IS IT

And he meant far, far more to her than she’d ever wanted to admit.

gross

Sigrun curled in on herself, feeling the balance of mortality sway and shift. 

not worth it

“Illa’zhi! Light of the dead!”

this guy! I like this guy.

She wouldn’t want that, a voice said at the back of Adam’s mind. Sigrun had steadily maintained that the other lictors should be given medical attention before her, because of her ability to heal. To gehenna with that, though. She’s got a wound in her heart. The only reason she’s still alive is her damned god-born healing.

and you still! cannot! respect! her wishes!

“I’d recommend clubbing her over the head and giving her the medication anyway.”

I hate that this whole "do what you think is best even knowing it directly contradicts what they want" is trying to be endearing, it's not, it's gross, and if anyone ever did it to me I'd murder them with a bedpan

He made his escape into the showers, and emerged, having kept his bandages dry

how. literally how. I have never managed this without the use of saran wrap.

[...] what in god’s name are you paying to have her fix your wounds and...” Adam looked at Lassair for a moment, “provide light to read by?” 

Trennus’ lips quirked up. “Oh, she does a bit more than that.”

 “And my question remains.” 

“Bad manners to discuss the terms of a bargain.”

they fuckin

“Case studies will be written about you for summoning courses. Each one will be entitled, ‘How not to do it.’”

and deep-cover infiltration studies will be written about kanmi called “how not to get turned into a pillar of sand”

“I think I’d throw over Bastet and ask her to marry me.”

do it

“To decide who lives and who dies?”

“...yes. Valkyrie.”

as you have known from the start. this has literally never not been known to you. but you’re an idiot and a tool who started a fight with someone who just woke up in a hospital bed, so I’m clearly wasting my breath

He leaned forward, and, this time not caring about the morphine or anything else, kissed her

and then sig punched him through the ceiling and he was never heard from again

but her hand crept up. Locked in his hair with frail strength

that’s not punching. that’s not punching at all. goddammit sig

Picked up the book, and pulled a fountain pen out of a nearby drawer, and began to write the letters of the Hebrew alphabet for her on the inside cover.

don’t write in other people’s books you monster

What does it look like I’m doing, silly? She shifted, and with the fluidity of a cat, was suddenly sitting atop him, straddling him. I’m seducing you.

Look, Lassair has. Issues. With consent and communication. That will not be addressed for quite a while.

But also I love her.

He was reacting, and he shouldn’t have been able to, not for at least a good twenty minutes or more. Must be the long dry spell, he thought, hazily, and slid a hand along her flank again.

f l a m e s o w e r

“Question becomes, where did the rest of our entity go?”

I WONDER. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THERE THAT COULD ABSORB GOD ENERGY. IT IS A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES.

“Oh, and it’s yet another instance of the mate of a fertility goddess dying horribly and being brought back from death. Don’t get me started on that.”

stares meaningfully at trennus

“We start with the little things, I guess. Little truths. Because people can’t handle the big ones. Not all at once.”

beware, child, child of man, for truth is now mine to share

“You’re sick, Sophia,” Sigrun told her sister, bluntly, as the men all filtered out of the room. Adam could hear the tears in her voice. “It’s mortal, and the disease is made of despair.”

“I know that.” 

“You’ll die of it.” 

“I know that, too.”

sophia deserves better

“Bastet...I’m thirty. This is just the start of my career. Sorcerers aren’t like most soldiers. When the knees give out at forty, when arthritis sets in at fifty...other soldiers retire. A sorcerer just gets better. And we only get better through experience.” Kanmi felt his eyes narrow. “You want me to sit at a desk? You want me to be a paper-pusher? No. I can’t do that. That’s not who I am.” Not right now, anyway. Give me thirty years or so. 

“You won’t even compromise.” Her voice scaled upwards into a wail. “What kind of marriage is this, that you won’t compromise at all?”

Look. They're both right. The terrible woman has a point. Kanmi is allowed to want to advance, but he should try to take the interests of his family into account.

“Surround yourself with people who are of your own intelligence, or better. Enrich yourself with them. If you spend your time with those who are too far below you, well, they might well be good-hearted people. You may even enjoy yourself. But inevitably, you will come to realize how limited they are. You will reduce and limit yourself to their level, or else risk being considered a snob. You risk becoming embittered, and you yourself will never be challenged, stimulated, or able to grow.” Livorus clapped his hands lightly. "And by that same token, those around you, who are that limited in scope? Will envy and despise you and seek to tear at you with words and deeds, because they know they cannot match you. That, my dear boy, is your brother's problem."

I understand this point of view a little, but also so much is made of tiers and classes (though that’s largely due to the setting, I think) and judging people's worth by their occupations or their interests and it's. Really tiring, to me.

“And if I were to say no, ben Maor?

do it do it do it

Adam blinked and looked up in surprise as the propraetor grinned at him ferally, and went on, “Had I not been wed to my dear Poppaea six years ago, when Sigrun first came to my guard? You would not have stood a chance, ben Maor. I would have swept her off her feet.”

au where this happened

Sigrun also noticed that the staff at the governor’s continuously mentioned the unseasonably mild weather, which included daily gentle rains that the locals seemed to find highly unusual. Two gardeners eating lunch in the staff kitchen one day, spent the entire hour exclaiming over the fall-only flowers that were sprouting buds, as well as early spring flowers, which had already dropped their seeds, coming back into bloom. It isn’t natural, they complained, but we’ve had photographers come by to take pictures for magazines three times already. She wondered if it was attributable to the unseasonal rains, or if Lassair had something to do with it; she occasionally saw the phoenix perched on branches in the gardens.

very mysterious. I wonder what could have possibly caused such a thing

“No one will give payment if you take out insurance against lightning and then, in the next week, call Thor a sissy and bare your arse to the sky while standing on your roof during a thunderstorm, if that is your meaning.”

someone do that, I wanna see it

“My people were always allowed to unseat kings, even in antiquity. Challenge them. Why should we not stand up before our gods, and ask them why something has come to pass? We might not receive an answer. But we’re taught to be strong in mind and body, and show respect . . . and respect will be given to us, in turn.”

ngl the whole concept of calling out your gods inspired the main plot of my current novel

No need to tell Abigayil that she’d ‘helped’ by hovering off the ground, so that her little fingers and head had been above the counter’s height.

that’s fucking adorable

Sigrun returned, immediately, and leaned up slightly

excuse you, sigrun is clearly taller than adam, this is bullshit

and felt her entire body spasm under his, and a low, choked cry of pain.

this is a myth and it’s fucking stupid

“Sig . . . why didn’t you tell me?”

because you didn’t ask? because neither of you initiated any kind of conversation about the topic?

“How can you possibly be a virgin? Was every man in the Legion blind and castrated while you were serving?”

adam why are you so fucking gross. all the time.

“I heard that. You said it.” Adam picked her up in his arms and kissed her. “God knows, it’s taken you long enough.” 

That’s because I say things without saying them.

1. you don’t get to put a time limit on her expressing herself 2. you would have noticed it a long time ago if you weren’t a tool

“You going to talk to Tyr about letting you wear a flak jacket with the feathers?”

You just gave her a whole list of things she'll be expected to compromise on AND you're gonna pester her about the fucking flak jacket? THAT DIDN'T WORK WHEN YOU WORE IT I MIGHT ADD.

My new tutor is Radulfr.

I would like it very much if some form of an exchange program were instituted between the Roman-style schools and the peoples of the various small nations around us.

fritti’s a good egg

Trennus exhaled, partially in frustration, and partially in relief as she shifted, becoming . . . a housecat. With a literally fiery orange coat and gleaming red eyes. “Off of the counter,” he told her. 

You just put me here, silly. 

“I know, but now you’re a cat.”

underrated joke

“Most monsters in Rome are very small monsters. It’s rowan wood. Very magical,” he’d told his son, straight-faced. “If a monster gets in the room? Call for me or your pedagogue or your mother, and whack the monster with the sword. Should take care of that. But be careful it’s not one of the house-spirits. They won’t like that.”

bodi is a darling and kanmi is best dad. unique response to nightmares is my favorite thing.

After a moment, Kanmi cleared his throat, and looked down at his two young sons. “Bodi? Himi? Put your fingers in your ears.” 

“But why, Daddy?”

 “Fingers. Ears. Now.”

#kanmikin

Trennus reached down and gave Sigrun a hug, himself. She was a very dear friend, and he loved her, in a way.

in a polyamorous way

“When I asked him once, Tyr answered, thus: This entire room is a construct, taking a piece of the extradimensional aentropic space that exists in three dimensions as humans understand them, with a few others humans are not aware of, but lacks the defining dimension of time. This is colloquially known as the Veil. The room creates a...translation matrix...which permits direct physical interface between the four-dimensional space known as the mortal realm, and the...transdimensional space that is the realm of the gods.” Sigrun paused. “I have only the faintest of glimmerings as to what any of that actually means.”

“I just didn’t want to say ‘magic door’.”

Sophia smiled. “Nothing, Father. I see nothing, and it is everything I ever wanted it to be.”

SOPHIA DESERVED BETTER

I guarantee, at some point in your future, you people will have cameras grafted to your hands or foreheads, and rather than looking at the world and experiencing it, you will reflexively take pictures of it.

no one asked for your social commentary, dvalin

Kanmi, in the small, cluttered room, which had shelves filled with... drinking horns and weapons and eating utensils and a dozen different types of devices, including, Adam thought, an astrolabe, narrowed his eyes at the dwarf’s back, and reached out and poked a shelf with one finger.

#kanmikin

You will know sorrow. I will not conceal this from you. You will watch him die, slowly, day by day, as he ages, and you do not.

and he will be bitter and shitty about it and make you miserable

“You make the choices that, in this universe, you were always going to make, Sigrun. Because you couldn’t be you, and not make those choices.”

lines (and concepts) that stick with me

“Can you ever forgive me?”

Not really, y’shit.

“They thought I was going to tell them I was seeing a Hellene man, apparently.” Trennus had just about punched one of his brothers—Riacus, the second-eldest—for that particular comment. “I’m not entirely sure what gave them that impression. I took a number of girls to the midsummer fires when I was younger.” He was still annoyed about that.

maybe you’re bi and your family are jerks

First, he’d established and maintained contact with Lady Erida Lelayn,

and then they hooked up

“Yes, and every night, after the boys are in bed, you go to your desk and you write letters or study your tomes, or whatever else.” Bastet folded her own arms now, mimicking Kanmi’s own posture. “Would you like to tell me who Erida is?”

a better person than you

Kanmi spread his hands, “I had to talk several Praetorians out of bringing you up on charges of tampering with classified materials, which carries the potential penalty of forced servitude, in Rome.”

The priestess raised a hand to her face, and gently rubbed at the inner corners of her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

this poor woman

“This is Rome. Roman law is quite specific. The father has primary custody rights to all offspring in divorces and separations.

I'm torn bc I feel like automatic primary custody rights in favorite of either parent are bullshit, but also Bastet is terrible and the boys are better off without her

“Please, Kanmi, husband, no. Don’t take my whole life away at once.” 

At the door, Kanmi turned and looked back at her, his face bleak. “And what have you been trying to do to me?” he asked her, bluntly. “You wanted to make me choose. The job, or the boys and you. I’ve chosen. The job and the boys. But not you.”

I am sad bc Kanmi is sad but also a. she's terrible b. he's doing the right thing c. SOPHIA WARNED YOU WHY DON'T NONE OF Y'ALL LISTEN

However, when Bastet packed the boys up and tried to flee to Egypt, a month shy of their court date, in September of 1958, all bets for Kanmi were off.

and there it is. peak Terrible Bastet.

And so, on October 24, 1958, Kanmi was handed his divorce decree by a magistrate. He acquired sole custody of his children under Roman law. He was thirty-four, and the single father of two boys, in a job that required extensive travel and was fairly dangerous...but that he was not about to give up on.

Because he's a good fucking father and also fuck Bastet with a rusty chainsaw.

MAYBE I'M BEING EXTRA BUT the thought of even the POSSIBILITY of someone running off with my girl makes me want to flip a car so.

[nochiquinn]

So there is a book series called The Saga of Edda-Earth that you should absolutely read if you haven't; the basic premise is "what if Rome never fell and also all the gods are real and also magic". The characters are engaging (in both good and bad ways) and the world-building is tight and woven wonderfully. It's by the author of the doorstopper Mass Effect fic Spirit of Redemption, so if you read that and it was your jam then you will most likely enjoy this (and enjoy picking out the similarities, as I believe they were written concurrently).

I'm rereading it for the 405th time, and if I livetweet it again everyone's gonna block me, so I'm just gonna throw it under here. (Mainly for @malaloba​, who for some reason enjoys me saying “shut up, Adam” five hundred times.) If you wanna read it don't read this, because I am not shying away from spoilers. If you DO read this, please be aware that I love this series to tiny ridiculous pieces and any criticisms I have are, believe it or not, part of that love.

Away with us, for the entire first part of the book oh god this book is so long help me

"I’m not fond of fish,” she returned, with aplomb. 

Adam grinned at her. “You are hardly a good representative of the people who built the boats who brought the armies of the Empire to these shores, Sigrun.”

One of the things I do bc I'm both an asshole and a nerd is rewrite some of these unwieldy lines that crop up occasionally. I came up with "'Hardly what I expected from a member of a seafaring culture'" for this one, which removes some of the background info BUT also doesn't make my brain trip over its own feet reading it.

"[...]You god-born are arrogant, and your arrogance will be your undoing. You will not always be able to cow everyone you meet with a show of force. A new day is coming. One in which the power of the so-called gods will be in all our hands, every man and woman will be as a mage, and there will never again be common-born and god-born.”

Take notes, this'll be on the quiz. (I have a whole separate highlight color for prophesies and foreshadowing.) (Because I'm a nerd.)

The Atenist, on the other hand, looked past the woman’s shoulder. Made eye-contact with the man at the table, and the Egyptian’s eyes narrowed, and a smirk crossed his face. Adam stiffened slightly, suddenly wary. He knew that look. The Egyptian suddenly smiled, without mirth. 'Oh. I understand. The barbarian woman likes sucking circumcised c—'

At the table, the hooded man looked up at the ceiling. "Bad move," he muttered. “Very bad move.”

Another clap of thunder shook the building. And before the Egyptian could even react, the tall woman caught him by the wrist with her right hand, stepping deftly in behind him and pulling smoothly up between his shoulder blades. There was no effort in her movements, and though the man resisted, her single hand remained rock-steady, forcing him forwards onto the bar with an ungentle thump. “All right,” she said, her voice tired. “That’s one count of proselytizing without a license to preach, and in a public establishment, at that. One count of disrespect towards an officer of the law. The first is usually a two solidi fine.” Two solidi would pay the rent of a one-bedroom apartment in most major cities in the Empire and thus represented a stinging rebuke to someone found guilty of a crime. “The punishment for the second offense is usually determined by the whim of the magistrate in question. By happy chance, I am a magistrate.” She paused. “Do stop struggling. You have no hope of freeing yourself.”

She produced her rarely-used shackles from where they rode at the small of her back, and clicked them into place around the first wrist, casually planted a knee against the Atenist’s back, and reached around to seize his other hand. At which point, he managed to turn his head and spit into her glowing face. “God-born whore.” The man in the corner uncoiled from the booth at that point, taking two steps closer. “Sig—” The woman let the Atenist’s left hand loose just long enough to shift position, still retaining control of his right. Her own left hand slid up, found the back of his neck, and she slammed his head, face-first, into the counter. Hard.

okay this is a long quote BUT it's always bothered me; Sig only got in the guy's face in the first place because he was badmouthing god-born, of which she is one (the previous quote was said to her), so absolutely all of this reads as a gross abuse of power that she gets away with because she's a god-born of the local population's pantheon and a high-level bodyguard type person to boot, and the only excuse she gives at all is "I have logged over eighteen hours in a plane and quite a few more in a crowded motorcar in the past two days. So I might be ill-tempered." Like. Not an excuse, Sig.

"I’m perfectly aware that there are other gods. They’re just not my god."

the only good thing Adam ever said

"Ley-power has given people light and power for devices in their homes—without being bound to smelly coal-burning plants—”

“Judea uses nuclear reactors, these days—” He felt compelled to defend his homeland.

“Oh, that is obviously so much better.” A hint of sarcasm in her tone. “And think of this. Ley-powered devices, like those motorcars out there? Travel used to be something reserved for the wealthy, in the main. People well-enough off to own horses, which required stabling, fodder, land, exercise, and constant care. Ley-taps and ley-power are a miracle of the modern age, and the ley-grid employs thousands of technomancers and ley-mages. Sorcerers . . . the users of seiðr, as my people call it . . . have not always been held in high esteem. The Gauls have treated their ley-mages better. And the result is a better standard of living for everyone. It’s hard to see the harm in that.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

Shut up, Adam.

“Hmm. His version of the story . . . now that he’s regained consciousness. . .” a sidelong and slightly disapproving look at Sigrun now[...]"

That's right local police guy you shame the godborn

“I wouldn’t stoop to using the power of the gods on one such as him.” Sigrun’s voice was flat. “It would be dishonorable. After he insulted me personally, I did, however, execute justice on him.”

That's not justice, Sig, that's pettiness. (The cop says as much a moment later but gets shut down by Sig's fancy Secret-Service-slash-Federal-Marshall credentials, which is gross)

Even after two years in India, and a year on this continent, he still didn’t entirely trust anything that didn’t run on electricity.

Because he's an idiot, and whatever -ism would be applied to hating mages for no good fucking reason

She was a puzzle. And Adam ben Maor enjoyed puzzles.

wow that doesn't sound like a serial killer at all

Sigrun, on the other hand, for all that she was god-born, didn’t have faith. She didn’t need it. She had assurance. Two very different things.

Didn't Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl have a conversation about this in the JL cartoon

So Adam sat and watched the news with a slightly jaundiced eye, shaking his head over the protestors in Xunantunich, all holding signs in Quecha and Latin, demanding an end to a Roman occupation that had already lasted for centuries. “Yes . . . that’s going to get results."

Shut up, Adam

Propraetor Antonius Livorus sat in the bathing area of the hotel room, patiently allowing his personal body-servant to shave him with a straight razor [...] “I will never understand how someone can do this properly themselves,” he murmured, gesturing at his face as he turned to study himself in the mirror.

Livorus I love you but that's just a little ridiculously privileged

A serpent and a jaguar were visible there, and, on his arms, bared to the elbow by his rolled sleeves, images of his strange, squat-looking gods.

This is referring to Aztec gods, and Sig's being racist.

“Sometimes, the worst monster of all, is humanity itself.”

ow the edge

“We have something in Judea now. We call them flak jackets. You should consider them. Unless the armor is just for show?”

"You should do this thing I say instead of the thing that's important to your religion, because I don't think it's necessary and therefore you shouldn't either"

“We’ve got a turnoff in about a mile,” Sigrun warned. He could see how tightly she was gripping the inner handle of the door, in spite of the fact that the car was barely going forty-five miles an hour. She was not an easy passenger. Another facet of her personality that amused him.

"Your fear is hilarious to me!"

In his left hand, Livorus held a bundle of sticks. The fasces.

I cannot read this word or a description of the item and not picture an old man in a toga bopping someone on the head with it

“If that one opens his mouth again to lie,” Livorus said, conversationally, gesturing at the young man, and speaking to Ehecatl, “please tell the king and his elders that I request that they remove his tongue and present it to me as a gift. In reparation for my time . . . and Rome’s time . . . that his words waste.”

Antonius Livorus has Zero Chill

“This is how we teach the young what’s important, yes?” Ptah growled it out.

yes. by shooting them. good job, ptah.

“Darkness is coming, Roman.” The eyes closed, then re-opened, vaguely. “Do you know...where your gods are?”

I don't even have a comment, I just like this line, for all its clicheness

“Sigrun, my dear, can you walk? Can you help this young lady back to our motorcar?” “Yes, propraetor. I think so.” Sigrun started to get to her feet, the lines of her face tautening as she did.

Ben Maor cut in, sharply, “Sir, she should not be walking, and I do not care what kind of magic was used to repair her wounds.

Shut up, Adam

The man stepped out of the way. “Go. Bring your machine. And tell your Roman that the chief would speak to him.” 

“I’m sure the propraetor will be happy to speak with your king [. . .]”

I forgot about this; there's a lot of just...not respecting native terms or customs. And I know it's Because Rome and the whole...do as the Romans do, or whatever, but also: stop it

Adam thought she might have been beautiful, if not for the lines of a very hard life on her weathered face.

she is gorgeous and you are a tool

Livorus nodded slowly, absorbing the woman’s words, and said, quietly, “And you were given as a wife to this friend of your brother, weren’t you, my dear.” It wasn’t quite a question.

And the woman nodded, rapidly, and Adam could only stare in shock. They’d killed both her father and her husband, in one day, and while there was sorrow in her face, there was no vengeance at all. Either the strongest woman I have ever seen, or the most worn, he thought, stunned.

1. the entire preceding conversations suggests she might not have even liked either of them 2. not everyone starts barfights over petty insults, Adam

Some god-born aged more or less as humans did. Some, like Sigrun, did not age physically at all.

which Adam will never notice until he decides to be mad about it

“He was a good man, in the main. A good enough husband.” Another weary shrug. “He was faithful, and he did not beat me. But I would not call what I felt love. More the memory of it. Love’s shadow.” She looked at Sigrun, and then down at the corpse of her father. “Love dies.”

and this, adam, is why we do not make assumptions. tool.

“Do I look Hellene to you?”

"is he, y'know...[pantomines letting your critically injured friend lay his head in your lap on the way to the hospital] gay?" (all hellenes are gay. all of them. queer as a bunch of three-dollar bills.)

"Instead, I require that one child from the family of each man who is executed for having taken part in this conspiracy, be sent to a boarding school in Novo Gaul. Close enough to visit their relatives, but they will be expected to improve their minds, and learn Latin. Roman ways. Roman thoughts. Roman ideas."

I know, okay. I know. Roman Empire, whatever, this just gives me such uncomfortable feelings of indigenous kids getting "civilized" in Christian schools

Still, the young man’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, and now I am consumed by my curiosity.”

“Then be devoured by it, Adam ben Maor, and may you give it indigestion.”

get vored by your emotions

“The chain mail is heavy, and does you very little good.”

stop mansplaining her armor at her adam

"First, I wear it when it is Tyr’s day. Respect."

so shut up, adam

"And third. . .” She shrugged. “I can still die, Adam. I’m not a goddess.”

[stares into the camera like I'm on the office]

“I am a valkyrie. [..] “That means, largely, that I will die in battle, Adam. No sickness will claim me. And even in battle, it would probably take an immediately mortal wound. Decapitation, or complete obliteration of the heart."

"Tyr is not a god of healing. He is a god of justice. His gift is...tempered. He requires that I understand the suffering of a victim, in order to restore them. [...] It’s not a mercantile arrangement. But there is a saying: ex nihilo nihil fit.” Nothing comes from nothing. “You have to give, if you wish to receive.”

"ex nihilo nihil fit" has been lodged in my mind since the first time I read this

“But [Fritti’s] strong. She’ll be just fine.”

citation needed

[Adam] was highly amused to note that Sigrun had gripped onto the arms of the chair, and that her knuckles were already white. They had yet to leave the ground. “Would it help if I held your hand?”

[braun strowman voice] you can GET THESE HANDS

It wasn’t that he was unused to other cultures;

it was that he was a tool

"he’d had his mind forcibly expanded in India and in the course of serving Rome"

adam is that guy who spends a week in a resort town and never shuts up about how "worldly" he is now

(I swear I get nicer once other characters are introduced and we don't spend so much time with adam)

Sangua Foederis. Blood Pact.

i c u mass effect reference

“Since when is Matrugena my summoner?”

Oh, just you wait, Sig

Adam grinned at her. She reacted rather nicely to teasing.

g r o s s

In the public baths, people sat around stark naked, in the pools, or taking a steam. The most one might have was a towel. It required certain mental adjustments. Most notably remembering not to hit anyone whose eyes dropped below neck level.

but adam you're so enlightened

The Pict had dark blond hair, dressed back in a half dozen braids

I never ever picture him as blonde. he always has red hair. I don't know why I have so much trouble with this when it is clearly stated, right there.

“What woman is ever going to be interested in things like that? You might as well put up a sign that says ‘in bonded servitude to books, in perpetuity.’”

leave trennus alone he's a Good Boy 

He had...no idea what to do with the fact that he had just gone from seeing her as a weapon, then a woman, and now, suddenly, as both at the same time.

admit that you're a gross tool and then get out of my book

“True enough,” Adam admitted, tautly. “I can’t say I’m thrilled with the idea of working with a summoner. It’s an inevitable and slippery slope into desiring more and more power, Trennus; dealing with spirits is inherently evil.” He paused; the man was regarding him steadily. “Isn’t it?”

"Knowledge is neither inherently good nor inherently bad,” Trennus told him, with a certain sober intensity. “Knowledge is neutral. It's what we do with what we know that matters."

trennus is a Good Boy

“What does it matter? There’s no one on this team who’s a noble.”

Trennus coughed into his hand.

Kanmi turned and gave him a pained look. “Eat shit and die. You’re not a noble.”

#kanmikin

Another long, steady look. “I can’t hate him,” Kanmi announced, after a moment. “It’d be like kicking a puppy.”

don't take it personally, everybody loves trennus. like literally, it’s a Thing

“She kills things. I carry her bags.”

this is in fact your only purpose in the world

“I do have other options besides lightning.”

“Yes, but how many of them are non-lethal?”

A pause. “I could just punch them. Carefully. Being mindful that their teeth do not grow back.”

Sigrun Caetia is a forever mood

“I don’t think I’m capable of being anything more than what I am right now.”

eat the fucking apple, sigrun

[nochiquinn]

Edda-Earth Book One Part Two: Entities

There were legends, minor ones, admittedly, among his people about a spirit with a similar name . . . Lasair. He wasn’t sure if she was that Lasair, the spirit of flame and growing plants and harvesting crops.

Oh, there’s fertility involved, alright.

In the interests of at least attempting to blend in a little better with Rome’s population, and now, with the population of Tenochtitlan, he had traded in his kilt for a pair of slacks in soft-woven cotton, and was doing his best, as the days on duty as Livorus’ lictor passed, to get used to the way the damned things felt. They made it difficult to bend his legs and their tendency to ride up . . . everywhere . . . was truly annoying.

Let  👏 Trennus  👏 wear  👏 a  👏 kilt

She mainly appeared as a white hind, but could adopt stag form, as well.

Saraid is non-binary, don’t @ me

"On the off-chance that she’s pulled your truenames? I wouldn’t noise them about. Just in case.” 

“I’ll take the same care with the name as I do with blood samples,” Sigrun told him, nodding. “It’s not wise to give anyone any sort of a hold on you.” 

Trennus nodded. It was a pleasure working with her and Kanmi; they understood where he was coming from. Adam’s lack of understanding of even the basic rules of magic was disconcerting.

It’s because he’s a tool

Showing his id,

She never capitalizes “ID” and I always think they’re showing their literal id, Psychonauts-style

“Well, you are supposed to be his sweet young thing. I wouldn’t let you out of arm’s reach, either,” Trennus told her, lightly, and then realized what that sounded like, hastily retrenching, “I mean, if I were him. Not that he is . . . I mean . . . gods.” Sigrun just looked at him, smiled, and put a hand on his shoulder. Even through his long-sleeved shirt, her hands were cool. Trennus winced. “I swear, once upon a time, I knew how to talk to women. I went to the bonfires all the time. It was easier, then.” Before . . . everything. 

Sigrun shook her head. “We’re people, nothing more. It’s easy. Open your mouth, words come out.” She gave him an amused look. “Most of the time, you have no problem talking to me.” 

“That’s because most of the time I don’t think of you as a w . . . I mean, I think of you as a colleague, most of the time.” Trennus paused. Looked at ben Maor. “You want to throw me a line here?”

Caution: man digging a hole for himself

Ben Maor’s eyebrows hovered close to his hairline. “Would you like some salt for that foot you’re currently mouthing?” 

Trennus sighed, and flicked his braids back over his shoulders in mild annoyance. “No, no, it’s tastier unseasoned.”

at least he’s a good sport about it

There probably were ley-lines in space, connecting one star to another, but no ley-mage had yet taken a Judean or Hellene or Nipponese rocket into space to find out.

Just. Just say rocket. Or if you HAVE to specify, “one of the rockets out of Judea, Hellene, or Nippon”. It just flows so much easier.

They both gave him a look that fairly shouted, what a tourist

I mean he’s a bigass red-haired blonde man in essentially Mexico, I don’t know what could have given you that impression

Gods, I hope the pinstripe fad dies soon.

You wear kilts and plaid, Trennus, you don’t get to judge people

“Am I being suitably decorative, propraetor?” Sigrun had asked, after a moment, arching her eyebrows. 

“My dear, you are always suitable, and on this occasion, perfectly decorative.” Livorus had taken her hand and given her an amused, almost affectionate look.

Ngl, Livorus’ attraction to Sigrun is one of my favorite things. I think if Sigrun ever stopped to think about it she’d notice it, but it just doesn’t occur to her.

His Nahautl wife, a woman introduced as Nochtli,

I am prepared to be confused every time I see this name

[...] but she was still on edge. There was a hint of rain in the air, and a suggestion of electrical currents in the atmosphere, high overhead, but that wasn’t it.

I include any mention of Sig being agitated at the same time as inclement weather as foreshadowing

“No one’s begetting extra children on their wives’ handmaidens anymore.” He paused. “Not on purpose, anyway.” 

She half-turned, squinted, and shook her head. “I don’t understand. But I’ll pretend, for the moment, that I do.”

Adultery, Sig. The answer is adultery.

Also, how many times do I have to ask about Tlaloc here?

When even your characters are telling you to wrap it the fuck up (Ehecatl’s been giving a TED talk on Nahautl creation myths for four pages)

“You may now forget absolutely everything else I’ve just said.”

Good to know we wasted absolutely everyone’s time.

Adam’s eyes narrowed, mostly out of reflex. “So we’re more or less taking your spirit’s word for this?”

shut up, Adam

“Which is going to get me going down a side-path to this conversation that we can’t afford right now. Don’t mind me.”

See, Trennus respects my time

[...] she’s four inches taller than I am. Who is going to believe that she’s my wife?”

This comes up a lot, and I genuinely do not understand. Is it bc I never have to worry about dating anyone shorter than me, bc I’m five-nothing? Why is the woman being taller a problem? the straights are at it again

I actually talked to my roommate about this and she personally prefers dating taller guys, which is totally fine! Personal preferences are totally fine. I just don’t understand pushing it as a societal standard. 

“It’s the fact that I can’t picture Caetia here married to anyone.”

Good. Hold onto that thought. Maybe if we all focus on it it’ll come true.

“And it gives an outlet and a recognized place in society for those who might not have felt male to begin with.” 

Adam grimaced,

transphobic tool

“However, when dealing with someone in her position—” 

Adam could have sworn he heard Kanmi mutter, “ . . . or positions . . .” very quietly, but when he glanced at the older man in the rearview mirror, the Carthaginian hadn’t changed expression. 

“. . . one must go to her, rather than compromise her.” Livorus looked at Kanmi. “Was there something?” 

“Not at all, dominus,” Kanmi said.

#kanmikin

Adam took one look at the room, and thought, God. Where am I supposed to put my eyes? How am I supposed to protect the propraetor if I’m trying not to look at anything, but everything’s screaming for attention, all at once?

be a fucking professional and do your fucking job, you dink

A gold aureus was worth ten golden solidi. A solidus was worth ten silver denarii. A denarius was worth ten bronze assarii.

none of this means anything to me

As a lictor, one of the highest-paid soldiers in the Roman Imperium, Adam made four golden aurei a month—enough to rent an nice apartment in a good district of Rome, feed himself, and possibly, if he saved, to buy a house somewhere else, as well.

This. This is the point you were trying to make. 

Adam inhaled at an inopportune moment, and choked on a sip of boiled wine. “That is . . . not really a mental image that I wanted, Eshmunazar.”

“But it is the one that occurred to me, and now I give it to you. Free of charge. And I wish you well of it, until you can pass it along to some other poor, unsuspecting person.”

Look, just assume any time Kanmi opens his mouth I’m sitting in a corner somewhere whispering “hashtag kanmikin”

Kanmi gave him a cynical look, and laughed. “You don’t think a few card games is going to make us all swear eternal brotherhood, do you?” 

Adam snorted. “No. But it’s something to do together that we all can manage.” 

“Could try drinking games when we’re all actually off-duty at the same time. No, wait. Caetia probably can’t physically get drunk, and Matrugena and I are very high on the list of people who never, ever should lose control of our inhibitions. What does that leave . . . ? Oh, I know. Floral arrangement. That’ll do nicely.” Kanmi’s tone was caustic. “Or maybe ceramics. We can all sit around using potter’s wheels and create lumpy coffee mugs and call them art.” 

Adam found himself chuckling. “When you come up with something more useful, let me know. Till then, good night, Eshmunazar.” Adam was fairly pleased with how that had gone. He’d managed to suggest to Kanmi that he shouldn’t isolate himself, without directly telling Kanmi that he’d been tending to isolate himself and Trennus, and had regained control over the conversation, when Kanmi had been about to dismiss him.

that actually pretty much read as kanmi calling you an idiot. jsyk.

“I could have gone.” 

Adam’s head turned completely towards her, just for a moment, even as he continued driving. “You could have gone?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

“To a brothel?” 

“I don’t see why I couldn’t have managed.” She sounded embarrassed and annoyed at once.

 Adam whooped with laughter, and absolutely couldn’t stop for the next half mile. 

the points made about her potentially getting harassed are valid but also them straight-up laughing at her for assuming she could do her fucking job is. so tiring. plus as an ostensibly straight woman she might not have had the hang-ups you did, adam

“Also, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re more than reasonably attractive. The women there could accuse you of trying to steal their livelihood.” 

Sigrun twisted in her seat, and the look of incredulity on her face made him laugh all the harder.

1. I’m pretty sure that counts as sexual harassment 2. “she’s super pretty but doesn’t believe it when people tell her and that makes her relateable” ughghghghghgh

He was all about speed and power and not being where his opponent thought he’d be.

since I was talking about SoR comparisons, this is how Sam’s fighting style is described. mostly ba gua but he teaches Eli muay thai at one point.

But I am what I am, and I can’t change it. I can barely even hide it. The rest of you are not so crippled in that. You can all choose to be . . . what you are not. You can be more than what you are today, or choose to appear to be less”

eat the fucking apple, sigrun

“Eighteen Rabbit. Head on Earth. Smoke Jaguar.” Livorus held up a hand. “Please, try not to laugh. What would your names render as, if translated, pray?” [snip]

“Windserpent Obsidian Knife,” Ehecatl put in, grinning. “One of the lesser names of Quetzalcoatl. It has a little more dignity than Head on Earth, yes.”

this conversation is a. racist b. the author going “look at me I did my research” but I maintain that “Windserpent Obsidian Knife” is the coolest fucking name in existence

“Sigrun!” Her little sister had always greeted her in exactly this way, a cry of pure joy.

best character is here, everyone else go home

“I saw you. You walked a dark road, heading east, always east, and the sky was like blood behind you, as the fires of a dying god consumed the world. Ashes fell from that sky like snow, settling on your hair, which was matted and soaked with blood, hanging down around your face like a medusa’s snakes.” Sophia’s voice was dreamy, and her eyes had gone unfocused. “You had a raven on one shoulder, one eye clear and amber, the other white as milk, and it held a silver key in its beak. You had a spear in your hand, that glowed like a levinbolt, and carried a child under your heart, but the father is both alive and dead, and you had been both married to him and never truly wed, and he’d been young enough to be your son and old enough to be your grandfather when the child blossomed in your womb.” Sophia’s eyes widened for a moment, and she added, still, in that same, dreamy voice, “This is how the world ends, sister. In fire, and not in flood. And you’ll be there to watch it die.”

This is the prophecy that carries throughout all three books, and I still don’t know where it ends up. 

Then again, maybe she takes the drugs just to dull the inner eye. Maybe she can’t stand to see so clearly, and wants nothing more than mortal sight. I could understand that . . . if only she made sense when she talks now...

sophia is the best character who didn’t deserve any of what she got fight me about it

“The black bird at the end of time is a raven. This one is the size of a man, and he’ll tear the heart out of you, if he has a chance, and feed it to his god. He wants his god to be powerful, so that he can share in that power, but there’s another creature there . . . a bumblebee. And he wants to bleed the god out on the ground so that everyone can lap up the blood, like dogs.”

take notes, this’ll be on the quiz. in fact, one of them has already shown up.

What does this tell me that I didn’t know ten minutes ago? Sigrun wondered, and then sighed. Not a damned thing. Should I tell Adam? Livorus? Any of them? 

No. They’ll just start second-guessing everything, too. Let them be free of the gods-be-damned gift of fikken prophecy.

“Fikken” means exactly what you think it means.

End result: A pocket of space ten degrees cooler than ambient, UV protection, one unnerved driver, two uneasy guides, and two much more comfortable lictors. All things considered, Kanmi was pleased.

tl;dr kanmi invented magic air conditioning

[...] a Nahautl man with the improbable last name of Momoztli.

I don’t think I’m understanding why this is improbable. Is it a language joke I’m not getting or just more racism?

“I serve Rome, and I do so willingly and loyally, but sometimes I wonder what the world would be like without Roman armies all across the world, Roman ideas in our minds, Roman words in our mouth, Roman coins in our pockets.”

get off the fourth wall, kanmi

“You need to start carrying an umbrella. Or buy suncream.” 

“I never remember that the stuff exists. It only came on the market a few years ago.” 

“Buy some, you albino polar bear.”

Kanmi expresses affection with insults. (#kanmikin)

“Think of women . . . as spirits. You’re the summoner here, after all. The first step, is you get her Name. Then you find out what motivates her. You bargain with her in terms of what that motivation is. And then you get what you want. Simple, yes?” Kanmi arched his brows, wondering if this would finally piece Trennus' equanimity. 

All the ley-mage did, infuriating enough, was laugh, sheepishly. “I don’t think it quite works like that. Besides, I’m not really looking to bind one.” 

“Oh, but it’s far more fun that way.” Kanmi smothered his grin behind his glass and a bland tone.

kanmi leave trennus alone

“Or,” Sigrun said, from behind Kanmi, dryly, and Eshmunazar sat up, hastily, “you could just wait until you find someone who already shares your interests. There’s meeting someone halfway, I’ll grant you, but giving up who you are, or pretending to be someone you’re not, is never the route of wisdom.”

I AM GOING TO REMIND YOU OF THIS LATER, SIGRUN. JUST SO YOU KNOW. 

“I was actually commenting on the delightful ranges of hills hereabouts,” Kanmi told her, blandly. 

Sigrun straightened, completely, her spine set like a sword-blade, and her shoulders came back. The gray eyes held, for a moment, no more warmth than a winter storm, and she tipped her head to the side, like a bird, and there was total silence for a long moment.

why does sigrun care that kanmi is appreciating boobs. or is it because she knows he’s trying to needle her? I pick that one.

Kanmi’s eyes went, appreciatively, to the full press of her breasts against the laces of her scoop-necked bodice; she’d been unable to wear a shirt today, thanks to the heat, but hadn’t been out much in direct sunlight, the way Trennus had been; as such, she was only lightly pink in some places. The fact that the bodice was also cut short, to allow her freedom of movement in combat, meant that her taut midriff was also exposed above the line of her jeans.

she breasted boobily

There was a warmth to Lassair’s presence that was more than merely destructive, however; it was life-giving.

you have no idea

“Do you hear everything that everyone thinks?” Sigrun’s discomfort was only increasing. 

No. You are bound to a god. You wear the amulet, and thus, I can hear you quite clearly at the moment. Trennus, I can hear, always. Steelsoul and Emberstone, sometimes, if I focus. Emberstone is not bound to anyone. Serpentshadow is not bound. Steelsoul is bound, but not . . . tightly. Those with quiet voices, gray souls . . . are much harder. I can make their words evident to Trennus if I work to do so.

SoR comparisons: the rachni, all of whom I loved, especially the way they see and communicate. The Names are very much like the names Sings-to-the-Sky gives people, though the rachni have a distinct focus on sings - Truthsinger, Sings-Regret, Sings-Justice, etc. And the concept of "gray voices" was definitely a thing; the whole soul-colors thing that comes into play here later on is a 1:1 carryover from SoR. I know it's hardly an original concept but I love it and, as previously mentioned, the rachni. So there.

Now the spirits need to learn toast-songs.

She couldn’t summon rain, or anything other than very localized winds. That it was raining, in addition to the lightning she was generating overhead was strictly a coincidence.

Adam grinned, and prevented himself from telling her she could open the door from her side any time she wanted, and in any state of dress she preferred.

gross

“I think his house name means ‘angry bumblebee,’ or some damned thing. He wears a bee-shaped clasp for his cloak, too.” Kanmi shrugged. 

For some reason, Sigrun’s hand was shaking as she passed the card back to Kanmi.

#listentosophia

“There is no fate. There is only wyrd.”

This is basically Sigrun’s catchphrase throughout the books. “Wyrd” is the concept that your path is determined by the choices you make, not any cosmic predestination. “There is no fate but the fate you make”, essentially.

—Erastus Collonus, “Sociolinguistic Problems in World Politics,” in The Roman Journal of Political Science, vol. LXXVI, Spring, 1953, pp. 57-58, University of Lorium Press.

there’s one of these at the start of every chapter, and I never ever read them. I’m probably missing something as a result but it’s a huge wall of italics and dense writing and it makes my eyes cross so hard they switch sockets

tiyanquiztli, or marketplace

just say marketplace. this is so common in these books and it’s so annoying. if it’s a cultural thing like the tlatoani, sure, but literally everyone has marketplaces. it’s very ff.n, look-at-me-I-can-use-an-online-dictionary.

“We, ah, didn’t go with that particular story, dominus,” Ehecatl admitted, chuckling faintly. “No matter how doting Sigrun tried to look, we both kept winding up laughing.”

this is much cuter than “no one would believe we were married bc she’s taller than me”

Her uncanny talent for knowing truth

she has explicitly said it is a god-born gift, adam, ffs

“Yes, thank you, I was there for the birth of both of my sons. There’s usually quite a bit of blood and screaming involved, too. Would you like more details?”

horrifying people with the details of childbirth is actually one of my favorite tropes

“Bullet-proof flak jackets,” Adam reminded her, his voice silky with temptation, and his eyebrows arched playfully.

shut the fuck up adam

A truck, following them closely, held five men

redshirts

“Not bad at all,” he agreed, tightly, and edged the car forward at a better clip, but tension still fairly sang in the air. “What did you have to promise for it, Matrugena?” 

“Your first-born,” Trennus replied, his tone mild.

that, children, is what we call a Funny Aneurysm Moment

“I was born to fight lost battles.”

it’s just a cool line. also possibly foreshadowing, I don’t remember

There were enormous amounts of energy in the air right now, but most of it was emanating from a god, and [Kanmi] had no idea what would happen if he tried to use it or reshape it to his own ends.

yeah about that

setting up the construct in his mind

I only ever see this as the arcane circles that show up when anime characters cast magic

I’m going to need to be inside your body to fix it. There was little that terrified the gentle spirit more. The summoner who had bound her before Trennus had released her, had used her, in so many foul ways. He’d bound her into dead bodies, so that they would move, like a ghul . . . and then had fucked the rotting corpses, requiring her to move the body convincingly for him.

stop giving your female character rapey backstories 2kforever

Just . . . theft and rapine.

I know this is probably an era-appropriate term but also possibly a way to avoid saying the r-word in truth

She didn’t have enough substance to throw them, but with every blow, the creatures cringed away from her pale glory, hissing and screeching in pain.

Saraid is Trennus’ patronus don’t @ me

It didn’t matter that she was punching rock. It didn’t matter that her fingers were bleeding. It will heal. A mantra in her mind. Hit him again. It didn’t matter that the skin was peeling back, and the bones were exposed. It will heal. Break through the stone. Get down to the flesh itself. Her knuckles fractured. It will heal. Ehecatl might not. Electrocuted, poisoned, bitten, and then a hand trying to tear out his heart. Ehecatl, who’s as faithful to his gods as any man of Nahautl could be, dying at the behest of these people? No. Another punch. Get down to his face and end this.

Sigrun is more badass than you

She snarled and resisted, keeping her mouth and nose clear, but the pool’s water began to roil and rise, like the fingers of a hand

it’s the curse of galochio

“But Adam just said not to—”

when has adam ever said anything intelligent

Adam’s teeth hurt for a moment. “Sig’s life could depend on this flighty, frightened spirit, and she’s just . . . scuttled off to hide?” 

Trennus grimaced. “Adam, she’s a spirit, and she just watched a god die.” Trennus glanced around to make sure none of the Nahautl men were in earshot. “Personally, I’d like to find a hole and hide in it myself.”

so stop being a dickhead, adam

“So, how does it feel to be a godslayer?”

ask him in about 50 years

“Well, now, ben Maor,” Livorus said, softly. “Your god must be fond of you, indeed. Not a scratch on you.”

Pity. Also, so much salt in this one statement.

“Who is it?” she asked. [...]

“Someone named Sophia.” 

“Oh . . . gods.”

preceded by four straight pages of prophecies

“You are such a child, Sophia. Yes, there was a ‘bumblebee.’ You were right about that. But there was no ‘black bird the size of a man.’”

 Livorus coughed into his hand, and Sigrun looked up, startled, covering the mouthpiece with her hand. “My lord?”

 “Tototl’s given and family names,” the propraetor said, quietly. “They, ah, actually mean ‘black-feathered,’ and ‘bird,’ respectively.

#listentosophia

What does it say about you, that every time I hear from you, you are on a vision drug?”

she has pretty good fucking reasons, honestly

"You’re angry with me. And you’ll be angry with me for a very long time. You’ll even be angry with me after I die. You’re too good at being angry, sister. Someday, you’ll be so angry at yourself, that you’ll cut yourself in half.” Sophia’s voice was drowsy. “You’ll hate yourself for living, you’ll hate yourself for feeling, and you’ll be angry at the whole world for being what it will be, but you’ll be one of only a handful of people who can save what’s left of it. So you’re just going to have to love the world, Sigrun. And that’ll be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.”

Sophia has the best dialogue in this entire series. Especially that last line.

“They had entered into a power-sharing arrangement both with themselves and an indigenous, ah . . . entity.”

the meme begins

“I can’t imagine it happening again, sir.”

yeah about that

Summoners were taught that there was a wall, or barrier, between the dimension in which the Earth and the rest of the physical universe existed, and the dimension in which the spirits typically abided. The dimension of the spirits was known simply the Veil, and summoners could part the barrier into the Veil for short periods.

how very dragon age of you

[...]but he’d always privately wondered why in Baal’s name she still didn’t speak more than twelve words of his language. For his lack of facility in her language, he had the excuse of not having actually lived in Nubia . . . but he’d picked up a toddler’s vocabulary from their children, at least.

because your wife is a raging bitch, kanmi. sry2say

Were you out drinking or whoring or something?”

Oh, fuck off forever, Bastet

Adam shook his head. “All right, back up a moment here. You could be barred from further service with Rome, the Praetorians, or with this team.” He leaned back in his chair, frowning and scrubbing at his freshly-shaved chin with his knuckles. “I’d say that any of those three make it our business, Sigrun.”

or maybe not everything involves you, adam

“I don’t like it any more than you do, Trennus,” Sigrun told him, equitably, and with a degree more familiarity than she’d previously spoken to any of them. There was even a smile there, if an uneasy one, as she looked up at the tall Britannian.

I will go down with this ship

Ehecatl quietly rolled his eyes, and leafed through an in-flight magazine’s foolscap pages. Kanmi leaned back, grinning to himself, and obviously taking mental notes for later use.

can everyone stop making fun of their perfectly reasonable phobias

but the question of how old she actually was, was starting to drive him slightly mad.

whyyyy can’t you mind your business

The night in Ponca when the Atenist had insulted her was the closest he’d ever seen her come to losing her temper . . . and even then, her response had been highly measured.

she broke a man’s nose over a schoolyard taunt

Adam felt the others all shift a little, and he was finally starting to understand why Sigrun had laughed when they’d insisted on accompanying her. 

She wasn’t facing review from any earthly authority for having participated in the death of a god. She was facing her own gods.

I don’t know why that didn’t occur to any of you.

[nochiquinn]

the saga of edda earth book 3 part 2: god arguments. godruments.

tip jar

That is almost exactly how people are indoctrinated into cults. Well, it’s also how people are indoctrinated into military life, too, if I’m being honest here.

these are the same picture

His telegrams were always so . . . brief.

Zaya, darling, they were telegrams, they were brief by necessity

She knew that the godslayer was a male as tall as a titan, and not this slip of a girl...and yet she saw Zaya becoming...consumed by the Aether, consumed by Fate...

zaya u in danger

Blind panic and total horror assailed Sophia. She hadn’t seen this. She hadn’t seen this. She was future and past and present, and none of them showed her this, she knew she’d never seen this, not ever, not once. Something had changed.

me when someone changes plans on me at the last minute

She’s always taken what she sees to be the truth.

She's a fucking oracle, what she sees IS truth, and you might have had an actual relationship with her if you'd considered that for two seconds

Sigrun had a private tally. Amaterasu, Saraid, Lassair, Zhi, Prometheus, Hecate, Loki, and possibly Trennus and Sigrun herself. Arguments could be made for adding Rig and Reginleif to the list.

The God Squad

They’d connected the two realms. A door between them, instantly transited, so that the Forest and the Keep were always within easy reach of each other.

p o l y

Nith grumbled and shrank himself down to lindworm size, comparable, really, to Fenris’ own avatar in this hall. You fear for your dignity? Sigrun asked, silently.

I have only recently had dignity. There are reasons that I prize it. That was a grumble.

niiith

She’d never done this before, and she suspected that the instant she stopped concentrating, her usual self-image would assert itself, and she’d shrink back down again.

is Shapechange concentration?

Loki’s thoughts slipped into her own. You’re looking well, neighbor. If heavily disguised.

loki don’t be a little shit

The memory, if memory it was, refused to crystallize. But she was left with the feeling that this had...somehow happened before, and she felt like a child caught wearing her mother’s finery. Too big for her, and sure to be punished for it.

ah, yes, the ptsd baby gate

Will you next hide in the Veil with Ares and pleasure one another?

thor.

There is no honor left in Rome’s gods. She put her hands down on the surface of the table, suddenly aware of Nith looming behind her. And I wish, with all my heart, that Livorus had been able to stand with us, when a Judean man, Adam ben Maor, pulled the trigger and killed Tlaloc. When that same man slew Inti, and I slew Supay. When he and Niðhoggr slew Hel, and when Niðhoggr slew Dagon, and when Kanmi Eshmunazar, Adam ben Maor, and the Carthaginian sorcerers tore Baal-Hamon apart. Because then, Antonius Livorus might stand among us now as a god. He would be far worthier of that distinction than you.

you ever just tell a whole pantheon to go fuck itself

As she stepped out into the entrance hall once more, she found herself halted as Nith’s entire tail wrapped around her, from her heels to her throat. No threat, but also, implacability.

it’s as good a way as any to make someone listen while you chew them out

“You should be better than that! You are better than that!

Brothels are clean, well-regulated, and licensed, but if you use one you're a desperate loser

My people wouldn’t let me throw the title of king around the neck of any of my other relatives. They’re of the opinion that I got us into this mess; I am apparently welcome to lead us out of it.”

Trennus deal with your issues challenge

sit there fore a moment

there are a lot of really obvious typos in this one

but Adam had seen one clip of Tyr and Thor, back-to-back, fending off the grendels, while some goddess in black armor had swooped in above them

🤔

Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli.

I'm not making fun of the word or the language. I'm not. But my monolingual ass got an immediate migraine upon seeing this particular collection of letters.

He created a duplicate of himself, just as opaque as he was to Veil senses

“I invoke Duplicity”

And every god-born descendant of Totec screamed as Mercury found the fine cord of power that connected them to their ancestor, and used Totec’s own power to burn them from within.

that part in Order of the Stick with the dragon bloodline

He was, at the moment, playing some sort of game with his cupbearer, Ganymede, which involved feeding the young male grapes. This would probably devolve into foreplay and spanking in short order, if Jupiter didn’t put Zeus on a leash, first.

don’t kinkshame

What changed? What is different?

sophia fucking caetia, that’s what

Still, it made Adam uncomfortable. Awe was something reserved for...gods. Not men. And for good reason.

adam ffs

“There’s a difference between natural camouflage and being a trained infiltrator,” Adam muttered to Sigrun.

Ima turned, one of her lupine ears cocked slightly. “Of course, you are correct, commander,” she told him, cheerfully. “But our dryads are trained.”

“heard u was talkin shit” 

One was a vivid red, and the other an electric blue shade that dazzled the eyes. [...] Maccis was perched atop a lindworm as black and glossy as Nith,

these are the yugioh dragons

“Sig, is there an entity living across the street from us?”

I’d watch that sitcom

The god who cursed her—cursed us!—is courting Fritti across the street, going about life on a path for what, domestic bliss? Loki? A trickster? ...probably not, though making everyone believe him to be respectable might be his best trick in history.

loki’s a better person than you

He’s also prophesied to be the death of Odin, the sun, the moon . . . I wouldn’t want to fight him.

I’ll punch the sun, I don’t give a fuck

Fritti is touched by you—” 

Frequently, yes. Loki’s grin was wicked.

loki no

It bespoke a level of equality in the relationship—whatever the relationship actually was—that staggered him.

pay attention to one thing, ever

Prometheus stared at him, and then sighed, turning towards Sigrun. You did not tell him.

oh look, consequences

“Could you all give us a few minutes?” Sigrun asked, her voice rough. “We can work out a plan of action...after I’ve had a chance to talk to Adam.”

There had never been a time in which they couldn’t talk to each other.

literally half to two-thirds of these books has been sigrun not telling you things so you wouldn’t throw a tantrum

“You’re...an entity.”

this took at least ten pages

I’m losing her. No. I think I already lost her.

bingo

“You never talked to me about a decision that affected both of us.”

It wasn't a decision??? Okay maybe it could have been if Sig admitted what was happening sooner, but also this is the bitchiest, lamest reaction to FINDING OUT YOUR WIFE IS A GODDESS

“So you think your life—our lives—were a lie.”

oh my god this is not about you

“Honesty. Trust. Loyalty. Fairness. I don’t seem to be getting any of these from you anymore.”

please fuck entirely off

“I hated keeping it from you. But I knew you would have precisely this reaction.” She flicked her fingers at him. “I knew you’d be angry at me. I knew you couldn’t handle the information, and I knew you’d hate me for it.”

“I was trying to avoid dealing with your whiny temper tantrum.”

And now he’s a demigod himself, on more or less even footing with Saraid, and Lassair’s off trying to find herself . . . and you’re uncomfortable with him now. He’s your best friend, and you won’t interact with him on anything but the human level.

Adam has been racist against magic and spirits from the very start, there was literally no other way any of this could have ended without some very intense character development that he has been entirely devoid of for three books.

“You wouldn’t take a house in Burgundoi with me. You wouldn’t take a house up in Caledonia, near Trennus. You won’t leave this house, the past, and while Tren’s lived in the north for a year, you won’t visit him there. He had to beg you to go into the Veil with him, and you’ve never gone back.” Sigrun poked his shoulder, lightly, with a finger.

He expects everyone to work on his level and refuses to lift his head and realize that the rest of them have moved on.

She and Tren have been keeping secrets. I was all right with the idea of them getting together after I died, but...they wouldn’t be sleeping together now, would they?

I wouldn’t blame her; it’d be better than dealing with your whining for the next ten years

The rush of relief drowned under another wave of agitation and anger. “So you have, effectively, another home, entirely separate from this one.”

I am going to scream

“If you wanted to help, why didn’t you make me young again? So I could fight at your side?” Instead of feeling increasingly useless...

“Oh no, you can’t have it both ways, Adam ben Maor. If I’m wrong to give you health unasked, then how could I be right to give you your youth back, unasked?” The riposte was thought-fast.

YEAH

I am still justice. But I am also vengeance, magic, the storm, night, death, and darkness. I cannot be stayed. I cannot be denied. I am the antithesis of everything you believe in.

“I am infinitely cooler than you will ever be.”

And so I knew that you would choose your silent, absent god over me.”

Different faiths in relationships is a weird and tricky subject but also choosing the faint possibility of an afterlife over guaranteed decades with the person you claim to love unconditionally is...the wrong choice

“I have changed, Adam. I grew up. I have put my adolescent stubbornness behind me.

“So . . . who does share the goddess? Nith?”

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The self-doubt that her step-mother had instilled into her kept her, humble, in a way.

ah yes, the benefits of [checks notes] rampant, long-term child abuse

“Why would you ever think that I would reject you in that way?”

[gestures at the last 30 pages]

“I won’t be who I have been anymore.” 

Adam pulled her to him, tightly. “No one ever is, Sig.

I'd like to point out that this WHOLE ARGUMENT has been him saying that they were still the people they were when they got married and that's why Sig being a goddess was terrible

And yet, in spite of that, he understood, intuitively, that his father’s relationships with his mother and Lassair had been fundamentally different than what he saw around him in the taverna. The difference was commitment.

bless this line, honestly

And she always knows who he is, no matter what illusion he’s masquerading behind. She even knew he was the damned bouquet Fritti brought last time. “Grandfather’s hiding!” she said, and pointed right at the roses...

this is rig and inghean’s kid and also that’s fucking adorable

Reginleif was lost in action. She couldn't make amends. But Lorelei could try to make things better than they were.

There's several pages of Reginleif justifying to herself that it's not really HER trying to bang her former student, it's LORELEI, and I didn't have a problem with the concept until she started trying so hard to justify it

Lassair frowned. I cannot read your words, Kanmi Emberstone. 

Kanmi’s grin was wicked, and the pen scratched across the page. Not my fault you can’t be bothered to learn.

ghost kanmi! I appreciate him.

Truthsayer says that you sought my assistance in a matter of passion? Lassair’s voice was now intrigued, and she leaned across the table, studying Reginleif. 

The silent laughter of Kanmi Eshmunazar was surprisingly loud.

I missed him.

Lassair didn’t answer for a long moment. The fountain pen lifted, and wrote, Asha at a loss for words... note the date and time...

Regin just asked Lassair to fuck Brandr. In the most clinical way possible.

“No, you’re more like your mother and Grandmother Min and Grandfather Kanmi,”

literally could have just said “your mother’s family”

“Umbles?” Zaya asked. “Intestines and internal organs,” Maccis said, his voice distant. “I prefer them warm, myself.”

[...] “Besides,” Solinus put in easily, seeing the discomfort in his younger brother’s face, “we were raised to eat everything but the squeak. We’re Picts.”

food waste is a serious problem. I’m just saying.

“Has she popped into your house when you were...” Rig paused, and very obviously edited what he’d been about to say, "...in the middle of something?” From Inghean’s flush, Solinus had no doubts about what Rig and Inghean had been in the middle of. 

“No, but she used to give me helpful hints and suggestions during.” Solinus looked up at the ceiling. “There are definitely times when ‘Keep your back straight! Not only is it good posture, but you’ll get a better upwards angle!’ aren’t what I want to hear.”

she’s getting better!

Gods know, I walked in on your mother last year as she was trying to seduce mine.”

...ish

Most younger people seemed to prefer the newfangled pockets that tailors had been sewing directly into clothing for the last twenty years or so.

ok boomer (also does the edda-earth universe still have Girl Pockets)

I find it fascinating when I can’t entirely hear someone’s thoughts, the spirit admitted, raising her eyebrows.

this is how twilight started

Reginleif had trained him, some eighty years ago, to look for the cues that an illusionist couldn’t control. Air movement. Something moved past me, or there’s an open window.

which is why is was very dumb that she tried to escape out the window while he dealt with her double

So what can I give you besides the lie? I could just resort to the truth. All the poets say it sets people free, in spite of all evidence to the contrary...

there’s truths behind truths and there’s truths behind lies

Instead of hair between her legs, there was soft black down, as delicate and fine as he might have found on a fresh-hatched chick.

this is just wingfic now

no other bumps or holes to slow his tongue as he slid from one place to the other. “Y-you don’t urinate anymore?”

Why on God's green earth was this the correct time to include this particular bit of world building? Why did it need to be included at all?

“Condom,” he told her, opening his eyes, and trying to reach for his trews. He had a wax paper packet of them in his poke. “D-don’t know how t-to s-sit on eggs.”

brandr

Loki and Prometheus had been [Adam’s] discomfiting houseguests for weeks now

I’d watch that sitcom too

Adam cleared his throat. “Apparently the Hellene gods aren’t the only ones cuckolding human men. Solveig’s husband couldn’t possibly have been pleased with the situation.” So much for Tyr’s honor.

adam

Loki sighed.

This is a long part about humans just flat not understanding that gods don't have to fuck to make babies, so almost all their sexual escapades are pure fiction

All of which is a long way of saying that your morals and conventions do not apply to us, because we are not you.

I just realized the implications this carries for later and I am pleased

Caliburn shimmered in his hands, and became a fully automatic assault rifle, still with the usual sunblaze symbol on the stock.

that’s actually pretty cool

Prometheus shrugged. Do you remember why Zeus ordered me killed?

You continued to prophesy that he would be slain by one of his own descendants. By one of his own sons. Mercury’s head whipped from one to the other of them, his eyes wide. 

What strikes me now, three thousand years later, is this: that line of probability still exists. Prometheus smiled. And you are still a son of Zeus.

I love Prometheus. You dramatic motherfucker.

Maia, our bright and shining star, was so shamed at being forced, that she put all of herself into the offspring. 

Adam struggled to do the mental math. “Hermes is Maia?” he finally said, stunned.

things getting kind of steven universe in here (minus the rape, obvs)

I do not want any of Zeus’ power. I have no desire to begin hurling thunderbolts around, or making windy, pompous speeches from atop mountains.

loki is an underrated character in this series

On Iulius 4, 1993 AC, representatives among the Gothic refugees, and the elected officials of Germania, Gaul, Novo Gaul, and Nova Germania all voted and agreed to leave the Roman Empire.

is this reverse brexit

Zhi deposited Erida beside them all, and coalesced into his smoke-man form

I can only picture Father from Kids Next Door

It takes a bastard like me or him to see it . . . but there are plenty of other bastards like us out there.

They are, I think, less charming than we are, Emberstone. Zhi showed teeth made of flame.

just one big polycule

It’s killing me, but I’m going to let the whole king thing pass me by, except to note that you’re a fucking royal, Worldwalker. This guarantees you another lifetime of me trying to knock the nobility out of you.

kanmi ate a whole bunch of mad godling specifically so he could shittalk trennus again

And Stormborn? I think she believes that having been born at all was her first mistake.

...unfortunately accurate

“It’s rumored that Mercury took action, killing Zeus, thus weakening Jupiter. He has taken refuge with the gods of Valhalla.” Every mouth in the room fell open.

“Do I want to know how you know that?” Marcus Livorus asked, the first to recover.

you really don’t

It is impossible to rebel against an illegitimate government. I am, simply, ensuring the continuance of the legitimate one.”

Marcus Livorus chuckled faintly. “I’ll make a note for the historical record.”

you are not obligated to follow immoral laws

“Your people rebelled. They’re leaving the Empire. Any Goth or Gaul who leaves their post is to be considered a deserter, and to be executed.”

I knew it was coming, but damn it all. My father, Aunt Sig, and even Saraid didn’t warn me. Gods.

yeah tbf they could have dropped him a line

He wasn’t deserting. He was, however, going to be very much absent without leave for a while.

you split them hairs

The papers are in order. Let the centurion get on with his leave.

these are not the droids you are looking for

and my second told me to get the f—” Solinus paused, glanced at Hanni, Shiori, and Astegal, and amended his words

the fuck word will not murder children. god knows mine’s still kicking; if anything it invigorates her

We are entirely clear of the atmosphere, and you have not breathed for the past five minutes. Nor have you needed to do so.

I’m batman and I can breathe in space

It’s the armor, she thought, dimly. It’s the armor that’s protecting me from the vacuum...

really ready for this habit to pass

If the man will not accept as an inducement the chance to share eternity with the woman he loves, then I really cannot say what would change his mind.

He is a proud man, Nith. And there is nothing wrong with that kind of pride.

Pride that hurts those around you is the wrong kind of pride.

Niðhoggr. Niðhnitan. Niðofslean. Niðfordon. Anda’hnitan, Anda’ofslean, Anda’fordon. Nith . . . . An endless chain of meaning whispered around her words. Malice-Striker, Bane of the Accursed, Destroyer of the Malicious, Vanquisher of the Vile, Evil’s Bane, Evil’s End, Evil’s Destroyer, Evil’s Vanquisher . . . .

His eyes opened. There are no words. His tail gently wrapped around her. Thank you.

Sig’s perception of Nith changing his Name. Well, the meaning of his Name.

"Sigrun Caetia." He bit the name off. “There is a standing order for all military and gardia personnel to detain you and return you to the Empire for questioning.”

“Really? In regards to what?”

“Fomenting rebellion, chiefly. With attendant charges of treason and murder.”

[...] “I take offense to being called a traitor, when it is Rome’s Emperor and Rome’s gods who have betrayed me.”

I shall have to find more people who irritate you. I will strew them in your path like flowers for you to tread upon.

I just love Nith so much. “You actually act like a goddess when you’re pissed, therefore I will make you pissed off all the time.”

I would have thought that love was what allowed humanity to become more than beasts. That it was a prerequisite for . . . ascension.

There are many roads to ascension. Yours was sorrow. Worldwalker and Emberstone? Knowledge. Truthsayer? Compassion.

And yours was...?

Pain. He set his wings. Fly, Sigrun Stormborn. Chase the night.

I want the whole book to be these two. Fuck the war shit, give me three books of Nith nudging Sig into accepting herself.

Some of the liquid rock had seared holes completely through the fine membranes that served to keep him aloft. Even in his lindworm-sized self, some of the holes were large enough that she could have put her fist through them, and they still oozed ichor, black-silver blood.

Nith chomped on Tezcatlipoca for ambushing them and got lava-blood all over him and Sig :(

You have a bubble of air that will last about fifteen minutes. The reflective aura around you is repelling the radiation, as well as most of the heat.

This is Young Wizards

I have thought, in times past, that if I could trade places with you, I would. The dragon’s thoughts were measured and precise. That if I could give you this immortal body, armored and perfect, I would. And that in that way, you could be with Sigrun forever, and she with you.

And where would you be, in this scenario? In my body, preparing to die?

Most likely, yes.

I would not accept that! What, you don’t feel worthy of living?

I did not, then. My existence was previously without hope. But I would not now offer it. Nith’s words remained precise. There is, however, another possibility. If you will not accept being bound by Sigrun, I could bind you, instead. I have never done so before. You would be subject to me. But you would partake of my essence. You would be stronger. I suspect that you would share my armor, and my resilience. And, very likely, my lifespan.

If I would not accept Sigrun’s offer, what makes you think that I would accept yours? Adam’s thought was curt. But again...it was tempting.

I did not think that you would. But I had to make the attempt. You see, if you happened to die, while bound to me, instead of to her, you would not be subsumed by her personality. You would become a part of me, instead.

And that is meant to comfort me?

Nith is TRYING to give you not only more time with Sigrun - sharing his extended lifespan - but also offer, in his own way, the possibility of eternity with Sigrun. So yes, Adam, he’s trying to comfort you, you absolute prick.

And on her pillow, on her neatly-made side of the bed, he found the moon-rock he’d picked up from the lunar sands, and a fresh-plucked golden apple from the tree in the yard. Adam picked up the rock, and held it, tightly, in one hand, feeling it cut into his skin. And stared at the apple. Two silent messages.

Eat the fucking apple, Adam.

His work with the fenris packs was a part of his life that Zaya didn’t share. She felt a little excluded, but in fairness, most people didn’t share their work lives with their spouses.

I can kind of understand this for people like Maccis who see a lot of violence or death - not everyone’s equipped for or will understand those stories - but not most people. It’d be a huge red flag for me if my partner never told me any work stories at all.

“Don’t get me wrong. If you want to go out for dinner when I’m not here, that’s your choice. But...”

“Not with people of the opposite sex,” Zaya replied. “That goes without saying, Maccis.”

People 👏 of 👏 differing 👏 genders 👏 can 👏 be 👏 friends 👏

Having 👏 dinner 👏 is 👏 not 👏 an 👏 inherently 👏 romantic 👏 activity 👏

Also 👏 lesbians 👏 exist 👏

“I know that and you know that, but there’s a whole world of people out there who seem to be too stupid to realize that going out with just one other specific person sends messages. If you want to send the message of ‘just friends,’ stay in a group.”

GUESS I’M STUPID

and maybe a fish flopping around indignantly in the pelvic area

this is about Fritti having nightmares about possessed skeletons but also. I’m.

Unfortunately, the next story was detailed coverage of the on-going race for several city council positions in Jerusalem. Fritti sighed as she saw the faces there. Mikayel ben Maor was sixty-six years old, retired now from his day job, and running for one of these offices.

Because of his candidacy, the news station had invited him and his brother, Adam ben Maor, to speak.

not sure if bad idea or best idea

“Charity is at the heart of almost every Judean’s life,” he retorted. “But tzedakah should be more than giving ten percent of our income to charity. It should be reflected in our words and our deeds, by showing kindness to those who are in need. If we cast out those who are in need of shelter, how will we deserve this salvation of yours?”

It was the look of someone who had just decided that someone else should die. And yet, he held back from it.

“I stopped a murder today!” “How did you do that?” “Self-control.”

Nith’s head swiveled as Sigrun hissed one word: “Bastard,” and lightning slammed down on the unfortunate centurion’s head, a triple strike that left nothing but smoking boots and melted pieces of metal that had once been sidearms.

and that’s what happens when you try to shoot a rocket at nith

He is proud of who and what he is, what he has accomplished. [...] Of what his people have accomplished, without magic. He forbore to repeat his previous words on the nature of pride to her. And yet . . . he never turned from magic, once he came to understand it.

Once he had a use for it. He’ll use enchanted bullets and Tren’s spirit contracts, but it’s still weird, and alien, and he’d never allow it in his home - just the basic protective spirits that Tren insisted on, and even THEN it was a dirty secret. He’ll make use of magic. He just won’t ever accept it.

It seems simple to me. He has rejected her, as a goddess. He will only accept her on his terms—those of their mortal contract. In honor, he should release her from their bond. He should tell her that while he loves her, he chooses mortality, and that if he ever changes his mind, he will contact her.

Nith understands. Nith gets me.

[...] he called himself Nikolaos, and his flanks held the long white weals of old scars.

This guy!

[...] and glared at young Spiro.

This guy too!

The first of my maddened fellows died as she touched him, every bone in his body broken.

Less "touched" and more "landed on his spinal column going a zillion miles an hour", but, y’know

“I have been blessed to be given the semblance of Xipe Totec,” the ruler of Nahautl said. “Anyone who attacks a flayed man in the street is committing sacrilege. They are not to be touched or disturbed in any way.

He goes on to declare all of the violent, psychotic transformed people currently ravaging the city sacred and not to be defended against.

There's a metaphor for current events in here somewhere.

“Sophia, what have they done to your hair?” Sigrun’s voice was stunned. “It’s shaved off just above the skin!”

“I told you—I told you they’d do it...didn’t I already tell you? The night nurse doesn’t like my hair. She doesn’t like washing it or having to help me brush it. She says that it was wasted on me. ‘It’s not like anyone’s going to see you, girl. And it’s not like you even know who you are most days. So snip, snip, snip, off it goes!’”

I will fight literally everyone in his building.

“He’s...thrown Hephaestus, poor shadow that he is, against a cliff wall. Shackled him there, for his refusal.”

Jupiter just ate Vulcan for refusing to hunt down the other pantheons. Which isn't something Sophia's ever seen! Her prophecy is breaking. ...which unfortunately means so is she.

Sometimes, the father is...” She stared into space, her lips moving. “This is not possible. You would never...you...you would never make the choices...you could never make the choices...”

no fate only wyrd

“Death’s shadow. I would expect to see you nowhere other than at my sister’s heel.”

Do you mean that as an insult, or do you mean, Trueseer, that your sister is Death, and I am her shadow?

Nith’s crest rose slightly, and then he exhaled white crystals in a snort as Sophia raised her hands to her shorn head, trying to tug at hair that wasn’t there.

“I can hear you! I can hear you! Why can I hear words fated to be silent until the world’s end?”

Nith said earlier that if Sigrun hadn't accepted her divinity, she wouldn't have heard him speak until Adam died. I'm guessing that was Sophia's original timeline.

Planted his paws on the desk, lightly. Just enough to make the entire L-shaped station shake. “And now that I have your undivided attention,” Sigrun said, politely, in Hebrew, “Which of you is the nurse who shaved my sister’s head?

All of them denied it, but Nith exhaled a white cloud as Sigrun pointed at one woman, in her fifties and portly. “Lie,” Sigrun said, simply.

That’s still so fucking cool.

The man I loved would have accepted my gift, and worked with me to repair this broken world.

citation needed

Choices change the ones who make them. Time changes all things. And with those changes, we must abide.

can Nith be the main character now

[...] he cautiously lifted down a book, trying not to leave talon marks in the cover. Set it on the coffee table, and tried to find a way in which to turn the pages without tearing them.

you are so fucking precious

It was so much easier to deal with you, when all I saw was an oversized, highly intelligent pet.

“It was easier to deal with you when I didn’t have to acknowledge you as a person.”

You believe that humanity is the pinnacle of creation, and you are proud of your species, your part in it. You believe that you have a soul, separate from your spirit, your consciousness, and that it can be destroyed by wrong actions. Nith’s voice was calm. And so, you refuse the gifts offered to you by Sigrun, by Worldwalker, and by me. If you do not accept them, you and your principles will collide, ending in your certain destruction. The dragon paused. It seems as if you are waiting for someone else to make the decision for you. To take it out of your hands, and force the gift on you. So that you may have immortality, and your principles will be uncompromised.

get his ass

He looked up at the beast, and realized, not for the first time, that there was no possible way in which to fight it, save Caliburn, and even Caliburn, he wouldn’t give good odds. I could find Jormangand and tell him that Nith stole his lunch. That’s about it.

“He told me a truth I didn’t like, so I’m going to start trying to find ways to kill him.”

“You love her, don’t you?” Silence, cold and absolute, as if the dragon once more had been bound not to speak.

WELL?

Crann Péitseog meant peach tree in Gallic;

I am assuming this is Atlanta.

[...]a sleepy, mellow city along the Chattahoochee River in southeastern Novo Gaul.

I was right!

But as they appeared in the air near the city, all Sigrun could smell was ash, and as she looked down, she realized that she couldn’t pick out a single building that was still standing.

is the mad godling named Sherman

His voice was disgusted, angry, and...utterly Kanmi Eshmunazar.

I missed him.

There was substantially less art to code-breaking anymore, in his opinion.

kids these days

“In fact, the things I’ve seen today would have made even Baal’s testicles curl up inside his body cavity, and I know that, since I seem to be in possession of both of them.”

kanmi

“You’re paranoid, ben Maor. I never thought I’d live to see the day.” He paused, and took a seat, clearly moving the chair back to do so. “Of course, I mostly didn’t.”

kanmi

“I’m not sure I make a good god. I see a problem, I go fix it, regardless of how dirty my hands get, and I tend to sleep well afterwards. Aside from which, if anyone started to worship me, I’d spend so much time trying to tell the dimwits to stop, and go get some work done, that I’d never get anything done myself.”

I missed him

“Sigrun tells me that Regin turned herself into a swan, and made herself a pond. So long as she never got out of the pond, she was safe, apparently.” Adam did his best not to roll his eyes.

Why on God's green earth would that make you roll your eyes, Adam. Please learn literally one thing about the Veil that basically all of your friends more or less live in now.

“How in god’s name did you keep your mind focused for spell-casting? Mine wanders off without me sometimes, and I have to pull it back to me on a leash of spider’s thread, and hope it found good ideas while it was away.”

that’s adhd babey

People who don’t do more than sit around watching the far-viewer and swilling ale are usually the ones who lose their minds, I’ve noticed.

Without anything besides a feeling about the issue, she’s going to try, convict, and execute them?” He felt cold. This is not my Sigrun. My Sigrun understood the importance of the laws. In fact...she embodied them. “Tyr isn’t going to stop her?”

Justice and The Law don’t always overlap.

“God damn it, Esh. The whole world is breaking down. This is not a time for the rule of law to be overturned. This is the time when it needs, more than ever, to be enforced. Because if the systems that gave us civilization break down, there isn’t going to be civilization, but anarchy. And it’s not going to be pretty.”

[...] “Point your temper a different direction, ben Maor. What do you want us to do? Go at human speed, in human time? Process the microscopic traces of evidence sprayed across what used to be thirty miles of city? Take pictures of the carbon shadows on the walls that are all that’s left of some of the people in the western section? Interview their fucking ghosts?”

I missed Kanmi.

Let it go, ben Maor.”

“Let what go?”

“Your irritation that you aren’t out there with us. Keeping us on the straight and narrow.”

The true source of his crankiness: he can’t be sanctimonious at them anymore.

Sorcerers enforce the rules among ourselves. The god-born do the same. You’re objecting now because we’re enforcing the laws of the normal humans as well as those that pertain to us? Except we’ve always done that, too.” His eyebrows rose. “Think for a moment before you answer. Because I can crucify you six different ways with almost anything you say.”

kanmi’s never allowed to leave again. he is necessary here.

“Yes, but how does that even work? How can things have gone along perfectly in line with her predictions for so long, and now, all of a sudden, it’s diverging?” Adam threw his hands wide. “I’d love to say it’s free will and the power of the human spirit, but we’ve had those all along.”

it’s boots

I need to see Erida before I make it back home to my wife.”

YEAH YOU DO

Just after dawn on that grey and chill day, Minerva, the Roman goddess of warfare and craftsmanship, appeared in the sky overhead, and slammed her spear against her shield—the Aegis. The noise reverberated like thunder, and the humans in and around the muddy, frigid floodwater, already shaking with the cold, looked up at the sound. [...] Minerva had taken this shield from Athena, and it held the visage of Medusa trapped within it, and all that long-dead god-born’s bound power, with it. None of the humans could look away. At least half froze in place, and turned, quite literally, to stone, populating the entire bank of the flooding Tamesis river with statues, caught in the instant of looking up to heaven.

bad fucking form

samoom flatbread

Fun fact, if you just Google "samoom" (or highlight it in Kindle), it autocorrects to "simoom", which means TO POISON and is a breed of sandstorm. If you don't want to read the word "poison" and wonder why erida is trying to Make Kanmi Dead Again, please search the whole phrase.

“While we’ve got you here, Prometheus, and on the subject of truth...I have a bone to pick with you.” Kanmi grinned as the titan’s head jerked up.

kanmi don’t antagonize prometheus

Apollo? Hecate laughed, a sound like crystal and tears. I would as soon geld him as share ten minutes’ discourse with him.

I like her.

Kanmi latched onto the arm of the couch with one hand, his knuckles white. “You mean to tell me that there’s some...new player, from outside our universe, who’s meddling?”

given that I know how this book ends, I am 85% sure I know who it is, and 90% sure it's going to make my head hurt

Erida shot back, her topaz eyes gleaming. Kanmi still loved watching his old friend’s mind work.

people of different genders can absolutely be friends, and they can absolutely admire each others’ talent and intellect platonically, but also kanmi and erida banged.

Nith . . . you’re showing off again.

When I fly high above, you tell me I am showing off, because the entire city can see me. If I fly low, you inform me that I am showing off, because a smaller number of people can see me very clearly. His tone was mildly amused.

let nith show off, he’s earned it

She squinted down at it, and blinked. “This is me?” she hazarded a guess. The figure was mostly done in black ink, after all, with white hair instead of copper-tinged . . . and huge black wings. “I don’t have wings, little one.” “Yes, you do!” He pointed at her cloak,

look, little kid depictions of anything are the best and most indecipherable things on the planet

Sigrun had no problem with seeing a god-touched weapon like Caliburn in Adam’s hands. Adam had proven himself. He had the kind of meticulous discipline that Kanmi, Minori, Sigrun, and Trennus all tried to inculcate in the students that they trained. He had ethics. He had honor. And he had very good judgment.

You really need to try to take a human form at some point.

Nith studied her. On those occasions on which you have been injured, how do you imagine that I carried you to your room in the keep? In my teeth, perhaps?

like a giant puppy

Sigrun had been surprised the first time she’d used it, that it didn’t result in all the electricity in someone’s body dissipating, leaving them inert. Instead, all the heat in their bodies drained away, flash-freezing them. Almost every cell burst, but not directly, by being lysed, as Hel had done, but through the expansion of water inside every cell.

Power Word: Icicle

“Sig. Listen to me. You can’t just execute everyone who happens to be associated with the group.

twelve million people died, Adam

“Sometimes,” Sigrun said, tightly, “It seems that the law is a luxury, a privilege, that we enjoy in civilized times. It is a web of spider silk, used to restrain a bull. Most of the time, the bull thinks that the web holds him. And right now? He’s gone mad, and it’s going to take a goad and a prod to put him back in his stall. Far better that I do this, than let my people tear apart every sorcerer and ley-mage that they see, eh? Anyone that they suspect of being in league with Potentia? Their gods were barely keeping the Gauls contained after Crann Péitseog. What do you think will happen if someone doesn’t take action? Mortals against sorcerers. Sorcerers aligning with Potentia out of self-defense. So sorcerers against mortals and against god-born. We’ll be so busy fighting ourselves, that we won’t have time to worry about Rome or the godlings.” Sigrun stared at her husband. “So no. I won’t execute the ones who are truly innocent. But I will execute every member of Potentia that I can get my hands on, who’s guilty of something. Until Odin tells me that my efforts are better directed elsewhere.”

long quote, but she’s right and she should say it.

I will at least visit [Sophia], Stormborn. She deserves to have someone to hear her words, who will not be unduly distressed by them.

lassair’s a good egg when she tries to be

I brought fire to my people in much the same way, but I didn’t suffer three thousand years of punishment for it. I actually know when to shut my mouth.

Then why do you never seem to do so?

Hecate: 1 Coyote: 0

Prometheus’ thin smile didn’t waver, but the lines of probability flickered for a moment.

is this dunamancy? this is dunamancy.

I may be diminished now, but I have never died. Nor will I.

how did I forget what a badass hecate actually is?

But their Nahautl spouses had been detained at the borders, tearing families apart...but most thought that the detention camps, and the potential to get across the border to safety, were a better option than staying anywhere near the major cities.

for reference this book was published in 2015

There comes a point in time, at which the news has been so universally bad, and for so long, that people begin to ignore it, out of self-preservation.

2020 mood

And to anyone who might say, “How can you not have heard of her? Have you been dead for the past seven years?” my answer is yes. Yes, I have.

kanmi wrote this whole letter for that punchline...and they didn’t even publish it

Maccis was six-foot-four, and had broadened out to match in the past few years.

false, he’s a wiry little spitfuck, prove me wrong trick question you can’t

He is a lost possibility. An echo of something that has now never occurred.

dunamancy

Skadi’s brittle laugh slashed at the dark air, and Nith’s low growl shook the leaves from the silver-barked trees. Do you not show your teeth to me, hound of Hel. You may have found your tongue, but you will know your place.

I will fight you in the street

You might have the right of it, she replied, grudgingly. It matters not where the power comes from, so long as the ends are met.

Redemption Equals Death

And as one, Tyr and Thor gave him their hands, as, in the northern reaches of the world, the Fimbulwinter began.

w e l p

The current stirred, and Neptune looked up. Nothing was how it should be, and hadn’t been, since he’d killed that frozen bitch, Skadi.

well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions

I have the option of using my hammer, or calling to our quarry by his Name and saying ‘here, fishy-fishy, who’s a pretty fishy.’ Which would lack some dignity.

thor that’s rude

The ones from the other place were an anomaly. They changed everything around them. Mutability would not be tolerated. Everything must remain as it would be, as it always would have been. The bringers-of-chaos would not change the fate of this world.

it’s Homeostasis from Digimon

It didn’t matter at all if the woman possessed by the godslayer had loved a god-born man. She’d still killed him. That was how the story always ended. That was what made them godslayers. Zaya swallowed, and pulled her cloak on, bundling up to go home. If I were a godslayer, I wouldn’t kill Maccis.

rip to Adamas but I’m different

He could hear the giggles and whispers of forest-spirits who had taken refuge here, and harvest and hunt-spirits, too. Caught them peeping at him from the branches of trees. A few went so far as to try to play tricks on him—tossing an apple at him and shrieking, “For the fairest!” before diving away, giggling madly.

the thought of this is very cute to me and I couldn’t entirely say why

Humans see us as they see us. Shape us. And we come to see ourselves in certain ways, as well. I do see myself as male. Mostly.

nb mercury canon

The Legion has been largely professional for hundreds of years. Oh, there are still conscripts who are criminals, assigned to us as hardship duty. We use them to clear minefields and dig ditches and other such duties.

just casually blow up prisoners, nbd

But often, Sigrun found that she couldn’t sleep in that silent, empty room, and wound up dragging a blanket with her down to the courtyard, where she’d put her head on the dragon’s massive flank, and rest. At least the ground is soft here, she thought hazily.

that sounds comfy as fuck honestly

“We’re supposed to be allies,” Adam said, clearly trying to word this carefully. “There has to be give and take in an alliance. We’re not seeing much of anything from the Gauls and the Goths right now, and we’ve basically pulled down our trousers and shown Julianus our asses here.”

The Gauls and the Goths have been decimated by the mad godlings, they don’t have anything to give, that’s why they’re refugees, and you’re a tool.

(fun fact, I usually make these notes in the phone app at 3 in the morning so my original note for this is just “I hate you”)

“I can’t do that—”

“If you’re about to tell me that it’s rude and it will offend my people and my god, I don’t care.” His expression darkened.

She bit back her reflexive first reply, which was, Ah, so you don’t care if I’m a goddess, so long as I do what you want, and don’t ask anything in return? It wasn’t a fair response.

no you’re right and you should say it

Mercury glared at her. Give me one good reason why I should not take this matter directly to Odin. As I should, as a guest in his domain, protected by his power.

because snitches get stitches

[nochiquinn]

book 3 part 1: the god squad

Our Story to date

This part is a full fifteen pages long.

In between the whistles and thumps from the west, Solinus could hear the boy calling for his mother. Oh, gods. Yes, it’s a trap. Yes. I’m going to spring it.

that’s our boy

Solinus didn’t hesitate.

“What are you?” Panic and glee at the same time. 

Legionnaire. Twenty-fifth Legion, levy force.

I shouldn’t do these when I’m grumpy (I’m always grumpy) because I KNOW the Matrugena kids just want to be normal on account of getting fucking bullied their whole childhoods (sidebar: why do you bully the child who can turn into fire) but also fuck that, son, there’s a war on. If you got it flaunt it.

[Latirian] could look surprisingly like Aunt Sig, sometimes.

yeah about that

“I watched Baal-Hamon die,” Rig said, dropping all illusion, and stood in the door of the radiological room, his assault rifle in his hands. “Dagon and Baal-Samem, too.

now you’re just bragging

“I see you have all been busy,” Sigrun said, her voice weary as she stepped forwards into the room, having taken Solinus’ wounds.

The only thing that’s wrong in this house is me. “Nothing new to report.” Apparently, my condition has been present for some time.

Oh, her body was still cursedly young, and she couldn’t deny that some evenings she did feel somewhat twitchy . . .

that’s what trennus is for

I might have powers I never asked for, but that does not make me a goddess, or worthy.

stares into the camera

All they ever called were Veil spirits, but that did not stop them. Humans are like that.

I enjoy Prometheus

I have seen Emberstone in all your minds. I would greatly have enjoyed meeting him, I think. A powerful mind and an irreverent spirit. Kin!

Excuse you, I am Kanmikin, no doubles

You seem unwilling or unable to claim the power and the privileges that are yours by right of battle, but all too eager to embrace the responsibility. The victor has the right to the spoils, my friend. Nith swiveled his head around on his neck, and exhaled frost crystals at her. I thought it best to remind people who you are. Including you. Though the message appeared to go unheard.

nith is best pony

I remember running on two legs here, dimly.

take notes

Never say that! Never say that again! You are my friend, and I will not see you treat yourself so!

“Stop saying mean things about my friend!!”

Nith snorted at her until she reluctantly used othersight,

I'm just picturing nith snorting ice on her when she acts stupid like spraying a cat with water

She pulled the hood of her cloak up around her face, and noted, curiously, that the white feathers had turned night-black. The Veil, she thought. It warps everything it touches.

I am going to scream. You know when you're trying to provide a counterpoint to someone's brain weasels but they just keep coming up with reasons why they're awful? Sigrun is that but worse bc someone chose to make her like this. This is a conscious decision by a human person.

Mimir, who has nothing left to fight with besides his teeth, for his ability to manifest anything more than his head was lost long ago.

Look that was easily the best character in dad of war

Lassair is . . . doing whatever Lassair wishes to do.

fuck yeah she is

���I am who I am,” she said, desperately. “Is it not enough that I will live this lie for you?”

It's not a lie! It is literally the thing that is happening to you at this moment! dfljhsdlkfs

If you take charge of your image now, you can be who you wish to be, instead of whom they invent you as.

Get you a pr rep

It would be nice to be able to seek a mate. That has never been an option.

take notes

If you wish me to make the attempt, I would consider it. But I think it best if I should wait. A surprisingly gentle touch on her mind. I say ‘we two’ to you, but Steelsoul has not heard this yet. And a human form would be . . . threatening. Steelsoul would not understand.

let him be threatened then

For centuries, I was not permitted to speak to anyone except for her. He paused. And when she died, I simply did not wish to speak to others, until you had heard me. And you were not listening.

yeah, SIGRUN

Drag it outside and I will bite it in half for you.

I mean it’s not a TERRIBLE plan

Solinus went flame-form, burning his sheet to ash.

dammit, Sol, how naked do you intend to be?

She was fond enough of Lassair, but she really rather thought that the spirit had taken advantage of Trennus’ good nature over the years.

So these unwanted gifts might not be such horrible things? Saraid pressed, gently. Sigrun shrugged. It didn’t matter. The powers were not hers. They had not been asked for, or earned.

OKAY LET’S BREAK THIS DOWN. Unasked for, sure, fine. Unearned. Sig has been in service of her gods since she was child. She’s served in multiple wars. She’s served as a lictor, one of the fingers in Rome’s fist. She’s been a fair and just arbiter of the law in Tyr’s name, and Rome’s. She killed multiple gods that would have altered the course of the world and both mortal and divine politics if their plans had succeeded. She spared Loki. She endured his curse. 

YOU HAVE EARNED A DIVINE KICKBACK OR TWO, SIGRUN.

You know, I think it amusing that everyone except for Lassair calls Trennus Worldwalker. I think it suits him far more than Flamesower. One shows what he is to everyone. The other only shows what he is to Lassair. Sigrun had long since learned the art of turning aside most difficult conversations. Prometheus, Freya, and Tyr could not be put aside. Saraid? Saraid was simple to divert. 

As Saraid’s spluttering embarrassment quickly proved.

The cuteness of this exchange does not get you out of acknowledging your issues, SIGRUN

The result was a kind of tunnel-vision that didn’t let him see much outside of the fifty-square-mile area in which he was currently positioned.

>tunnel vision >fifty-square-mile

godborn

And Stormborn? The black cloak stayed the same, but sometimes, she looked like an ancient crone, white hair tumbling free, and every rune-mark on her body was a bleeding wound. And sometimes, he caught sight of something else. Something emerging from her, like a phoenix from the egg. The black cloak was the same, but inside the folds, he could see shimmers that looked like a night sky, full of stars. Instead of the crone’s white locks, pale copper hair tugged loose from a braid, whipping on the wind, and electrical sparks crackled here and there in it. Her face, when she turned back to look at him, was shrouded by her hood, but the features were young, though her eyes were as old as night. Surrounded by the black hood, every inch of her skin blazed with radiance, illumined from within by the rune-marks, and her spear, balanced in front of her, crackled with blue-white light, as well.

long quote BUT sigrun is the same at her core. nothing has changed that, nothing can change that, and she’s so scared of what’s changing on the outside it’s blinded her to that.

He didn’t know what to say or do; for his own protection, his mother had told him not to pray to any of them, though, when he’d come of age and entered the Legion, he’d periodically prayed to and cursed at his father. It probably did no good, but everyone needed something to focus on when they were being shot at.

I also cuss my dad periodically, it’s theraputic

Several of us are concerned that such energy leaks will not only damage the earth, but the actual dimension in which this world resides. Tears could develop. Flaws. Fractures.

I maintain that she played more of Inq than she let on. Or Bioshock Infinite.

Hear me, Jormangand, I beg. I am Sigrun . . . There was a pause, and then with a sense of tired inevitability, she finished, Stormborn.

atta girl, you resign yourself to your name

Let me offer you healing, so that you might know our good intentions. I ask nothing in return. This is a gift.

Sig. Sig no. Snake big. Big boo-boo. Sig no.

...he clearly waited until Jormangand once more belched fire at him . . . and met it with deathfrost.

Next time on dragonball z

“When we faced off with Tlaloc, however accidentally, Adam and I were both younger than you are now.

I was younger than you are now  when I fought my first death god

He called Aunt Sig a goddess. And said she had more of my father’s power in her, than I did. His mind was numb to wonder at the moment, however, and his reaction was therefore muted. Something . . . something to ask her about, assuming I survive the next couple of hours. And assuming she’s all right.

that conversation will go well

And the dragon himself—reduced in size to that of a lindworm, and sprawled on the floor beside her,

puppy

She needed to start moving as the old, dead skin sloughed off, to ensure that the new skin didn’t grow in too tightly,

That's a grisly thing to know to do out of habit

She looked down at her left hand, the fingers of which had previously melted together when she’d touched the great beast,

I'm sorry they did what now

I am used to going first into battle, and others backing me up, knowing that I will take the brunt of an enemy’s attention, and that their role is to use their magic and their weapons from a distance to destroy it, while I . . . occupy it.

“I’m a main tank, what do you want from me”

You will agree that from now on, that is my role.

“you are DPS now and you will LIKE IT. Maybe an off-tank if I’m feeling generous.”

But I do not understand why you hate your Name. It is who you are. Hate it, and you hate yourself.

congrats, you solved sig’s self-loathing puzzle

And until this moment, because of the unremitting pain, the necessity of healing, and the not-warm-not-cool temperature around her in this place, she hadn’t even registered that she was as naked as if she were at a Roman bath, or at the sea-shore.

I never believe this. How do you not feel your own naked?

The woman there was bleeding. Hundreds of wounds, a flayed goddess, like Xipe Totec was a flayed god. I thought I had healed! She looked down at her arms. Nothing there but clean skin. No burns. No wounds.

🤔

Two young lovers who’d never age, or at least, would do so very gracefully. Light and dark, cold and warm, yin and yang. Perfect balance between them. Adam sighed inwardly, and quashed his regrets and his frustrations.

oh fuck off

He knew when people were telling half-truths. He’d seen a lot of them tonight, and it was getting on his nerves. His security clearance was active and valid, and he’d taken down gods with everyone at the table.

nobody likes you, adam

Humans like to believe that they are the pinnacle of creation. No. I was never human. No more than Stormborn is. Nith's voice was calm, but his tail lashed. There is no special virtue in being human, specifically. But I do remember being other than I am now.

I like Nith.

“And yet, to this day, you do not value humanity?” Adam raised his eyebrows, the expression doubtless lost to darkness. 

I did not say that I do not value humans. You, and your belief, your love, and your hate are what makes this planet . . . interesting. Spirits could go to your Mars, but it was of little interest save to elementals, until life and sapience came to it, too. The dragon’s sense of careful indifference returned. I value humans. I simply know that I am not one of you. I am other. 

“Could you regain your humanity?” Adam asked. The implications for Sigrun made him key in, rapidly. 

What value would I have, were I human? I could not fly. I could not fight as I do. I could not move freely from the Veil to the stars and back again.

“But distance from humanity is usually what turns people into monsters,” Trennus said, quietly. 

Monster, you say? Am I such? Nith’s tone was  chilly. Are the fenris? The jotun? 

Trennus held up a hand. “Sociopaths. Serial killers. And, dare I say it, gods like . . . Hel. Too distant from humanity to care about the individual anymore.” Tren sounded deeply concerned. 

I would suggest that sometimes, distance is necessary for . . . perspective. Is there not a  distance between the commander and the commanded? Detachment is a very necessary thing, for a god-born that intends to survive the ages.

Looong quote, but nith is trying to very gently lead them away from human-as-default and they are all being very thick. Even Trennus. Trennus why.

Part of him rebelled. It’s my job to protect her.

please fuck off, adam

He hoped she still loved him, and that she wasn’t staying with him merely out of...duty and obligation.

If you had nothing to offer someone, besides yourself, no paycheck, and just a pile of debts...you shouldn’t get hand-fasted, in Maccis’ opinion. You had to prove yourself worthy, and stay that way.

your worth isn’t measured in money, MACCIS. and also if people with no money never got married then there would be very few marriages, I’m just saying

The small creature hopped and waddled closer to Nith’s enormous forepaw, and stared up at the dragon. And then creeled at him, appealingly. 

I am not here to play with you, no.

Another creel.

give me a baby lindworm or give me death

“This is Geiranger fjord,

Fjord was never his first name, it’s his LAST name, and he uses exclusively bc no one can pronounce his first name.

They understand that there is one male leader, and his queen, and all others follow behind them.

Wolves in the wild live in family units and share leadership roles, alpha structures only come into play when wolves from several packs are housed together, such as in wildlife reserves or zoos. (I am not knocking reserves or zoos, they are generally great, I’m just saying.)

Mine, the young man said, quickly. I will be your hostage, Fenris. I am the son of the Lady of the Wilds and Worldwalker. If any betray you, you may feel free to bite off my hand...or even take my life. And while I am your guarantee, I ask that you teach me. [...] Zee. Damn it. Zaya may actually kill me for this. She might have the right to, too.

Sure sex is great, but have you ever bound yourself to a giant god-wolf in exchange for their service in a war against mad godlings?

Saraid manifested. I do not plan to fight either of them, but it is my forest that they are destroying, and my people, who have looked to me for protection under those branches for thousands of years! The thought was savage, and Trennus blinked. [...] The last thing he saw, was the startled expression on Lassair’s face, and he didn’t think it boded well. She had always led the way in their odd relationship. Saraid had always given way to her,

See, that’s...not how that’s supposed to work. I mean some personalities will always be more forward than others, but you gotta draw the lines early.

(also get a google calendar, I’m so serious, we haven’t and it’s Christmas and I am drowning)

“Where are the gods?” someone shouted, hysterically. “Call to them! Call to Toutatis the protector, the crafter, Taranis the thunderer, Nodens of the sea, and to the Morrigan! Call to Cernunnos!

“Look how many Celtic gods I know!”

Trennus froze, his mind working. Not just the people. The people aren’t enough. People without their land, without their homes, without their places of employment...are just another group of displaced refugees. No home. No purpose. No industry. My people without their land...would hardly know what to do with themselves. They wouldn’t be themselves. They would be another wave of lost refugees, in perpetual search of a home they can never regain.

trennus

It can’t be just the people, wild-heart. It can’t be just a building or two, either. I mean to take my home there. Our home, Saraid.

trennus whatcha doin

“My brother said to evacuate our people. That is exactly what I’m doing,” Trennus said, grimly.

trennus no

She has never chosen to release me, and I love her, and always will . . . but you were there first. Patient, quiet, and abiding. I should have understood so many things when I was young. Lassair is passion. But you are the stone that endures and the green things that grow. You are the wilderness, hunter and hunted. And you are love, and all that abides. Trennus leaned down, and kissed her, very gently. If I die here today? I die very well indeed.

I have a Thing about this I’m going to get into later but Trennus is being a very sweet idiot right now

She’d given them life, and yet they didn’t see her or know her, and she did not understand how that was possible.

Because being a mother is more than just giving life. Honestly, to my own chagrin, I compare this to the Duggars - they have so many kids that the youngest were raised by the oldest, and don't see their parents as actual parents. And Lassair had a kid whenever she wanted, thinking they were gifts to Trennus instead of living, breathing creatures that require care and love, and denied both of them a meaningful relationship.

The soul-bond snapped free, and for a moment, Lassair was completely bereft. She could feel masses of energy leaving her, and recoiling back to him. She wasn’t, again, precisely lessened by this, but she was missing her most important conduit...but she still had the children. They still bound her to this realm. Her anchor-points in reality. And she was still bound to Flamesower by love. Perhaps...perhaps that would be enough.

You gotta make your own bonds and not rely on people feeling like they owe you out of love or familial connection. Also stop calling Trennus that.

But as he’d said, and said truly to Saraid, Lassair was fire; she was passion. Passion consumed. And then, when there was no more fuel, it might turn to the warm embers of a gentle, abiding love. 

Or it burned itself out, leaving only ashes.

I HAVE A THING I’M GONNA SAY ABOUT THIS

He was spirit-touched — god-touched, if he was going to be honest about it. And now all his power was coming home to him. He was what Akhenaten and Sayri Cusi, the Sapa Inca, had wished to become . . . but while they had wrestled and forced and broken to achieve it, Worldwalker had done it by peaceful bargaining, by partnerships and alliances and good will. He had become a god. A little one, perhaps, a demigod...but still a god.

welcome to the god squad

You must enter the Veil physically to maintain that conduit for periods of time. Every winter, if not six months a year.

trensephone

Veilic energy

this phrase has not been used once before now in this entire doorstopper of a series and that is a CRIME

The winds off the North Sea now had no barriers, as they howled southwards over empty, barren plains.

I think they address this later, but can you imagine the ecological impact

Relax and be one with me.

👀

Interrogation? That was not my intention. I plan to drop him once I achieve suitable altitude. The rocket offended me.

nith is the only valid character

[...] a sack that Minori had given her—something Amaterasu had made, apparently. No matter how much material was loaded into it, it still looked only half-full, and the thing needed always rose to hand.

we get it you play d&d

And that is well and good, but how, precisely, are you serving humans now, by trying to be one of them, when you are not, and never truly were? I think it may be time to acknowledge the simple truth of what you are...

“What, above them?”

[...] You are above them, but I do not mean it in any arrogant fashion. Think of it this way, if you would: You have been promoted.A general might be more loved by the common soldier if he or she shares the privations of those below him or her, but there is a certain distance expected between officers and enlisted, is there not? 

Sigrun had hesitated. “Well, yes . . . Distance is needed so that orders can be given and accepted. One can question if an order is legal, but decision-making is not democratic.” 

So there is precedent, then, for you to accept that you will require distance from the rank and file. And that there is nothing here about which to feel shame. 

nith is the ONLY valid character. (also please appreciate me stitching together the relevant dialogue for these quotes, there’s so much in between them)

Intimacy meant not going on separate trips for pleasure’s sake. That one shouldn’t go off alone for a day or two at a time with a member of the opposite gender (or the same gender, if one’s inclinations led that way) also seemed to go without saying.

1. Sometimes people need alone time to decompress, this is normal and healthy 2. People can be friends regardless of sexual orientation

Excluding one’s spouse from enjoyed activities was also a grand way to invite jealousy and separation into a relationship.

if your spouse is a shitty possessive child, yes

If one spouse’s only interest was watching the far-viewer, and the other was intellectually or physically active—a philosopher, a scientist, an athlete, or an outdoorsman—the relationship was doomed, unless the far-viewer watcher could get off the couch and participate in life.

oh fuck off

She couldn’t share her...entity-self with him. But she also wouldn’t allow it to destroy what they had.

sigrun’s views on relationships are the cause of so much of her stress

Kanmi had teased him, mercilessly, about the crush Kanmi had supposed Trennus had on her. Sigrun had never really seen any signs of it,

because sig is just a smidge oblivious, much though I love her

Sigrun’s breath caught in her chest, in silent acknowledgment of the bond of unspoken love between them,

sig’s part of the poly now no takebacks

[...] You were the eldest then, the essence of spring, and a maiden. The mother and the youngest and coldest, who was death, joined with you, and you were three-in-one. And now, you are the mother, and they are shadows within you.” That wasn’t Min’s voice. It was definitely Amaterasu’s, and Sigrun shuddered at hearing it. 

But I am more than that! 

Sigrun stared at the floor. “Freya told me not long ago, that I must shape myself, or others will shape me,” she said, her heart empty. “Shape yourself, Lassair. Make yourself who you wish to be.

lassair is also in the god squad. well, has returned to the god squad. some stuff happened.

“Is this the place of reward or the place of punishment?” It was clearly an attempt at a joke. “Either way, I didn’t think I rated three queens to see me to my rest.”.

SIG’S PART OF THE POLY NOW NO TAKEBACKS

Min shook her head rapidly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Hurt in her voice, a small preview of what Sigrun could expect from Adam, if Adam ever realized what she was.

min doesn’t care that you’re a goddess, min’s hurt you hid something from her that she could help with! sdkfjsdlk

Nith was currently covered in Matrugena children, to the dragon’s evident disbelief.

that’s fucking adorable

“...that god-born wrap themselves around some moment of crisis or pain, and forge their whole identity around it, never changing, in all their long lives?” 

Sigrun shrugged. “That was it, yes. I thought it was apt.” 

Minori folded her hands in front of her. “Is that true of you?” 

Sigrun sighed. “My moment of crisis hasn’t happened yet,” she told Minori,

No, your moment of crisis was your shitty stepmother being shitty, and it shaped your whole perception of yourself. ABUSE COUNTS AS A CRISIS.

“Leave the trees alone.”

I AM THE LATIRIAN I SPEAK FOR THE TREES

Eisa sounded uncomfortable. “Mother’s not here. She’s, ah...moved out. Sort of.”

Okay, here's the thing I wanted to talk about. I am not upset that Lassair left; it was important for her character growth. What upsets me is that in what I've read of this author, there are two whole polyamorous relationships (unless I'm forgetting one from the Caesarion books) and both of them eventually lose a member because of some personal revelation or cultural differences. And as a person in a long-term polycule, it bothers me! The idea that poly relationships only last until one person realizes what they REALLY want or that they don’t fit with the other two. Just. Have a healthy, long-lasting poly, for fuck's sake. (I realize the Matrugena ‘cule lasted for...however old Vorvena is, I guess (she’s the oldest Saraid kid, right?), but also the issues were present from the start and nobody ever talked about it, which doesn’t count as healthy.)

“Though for a couple of decades, people have been talking about microclimate change here...”

that would be thanks to your wife and her girlfriends. also I was today years old when I made the “land of plenty” connection, thank you, I was raised agnostic, can you tell

all right, not really marriage, but close enough

fuck you, adam, they were married

But I thought they were...forever. I mean, look at how many children they have...

number of children is not a metric for a happy relationship

Harah. She put her nose into this triangular relationship and that’s just going to wind up pulling us in...

please fuck off. also you sound like my dad so double fuck off.

“Gods damn it, Adam, if you were handed a pill that cured arthritis and gave you another ten years, you’d take the damned pill. But even though you’ll accept magic put on your bullets, you’ll carry a god-touched weapon, and you’ll agree to contracts with house-spirits, you won’t accept a magic effect that would do the same thing as the pill?” Trennus was as irritated as Adam had ever seen him.

same fucking hat

“Let me put it to you this way. I’m probably about to be made king of the Picts. You will be offending the ruler of a small nation if you do not visit me in my court.”

I mean he already offends me

Yes, but I’m not alien to humanity, Adam thought. I’m the only one of all my friends who can...still claim that. But I’ve always wanted to meet aliens. He looked up at the clear blue sky. Who knew that they’d just come out of our own population, instead of from the stars?

I am really, really uncomfy with the use of the word “alien” here (referring to the harpies, jotuns, dryads, living trees, etc that have taken refuge in the Wood Trennus teleported into Judea)

Was it not a bad neighborhood, not long ago? A drycleaner and a row of empty shops, with graffiti in three languages?”

graffiti does not mean a bad neighborhood, sig

There was a frozen moment as Lorelei stared down at the hand, and then slowly looked up at Sigrun, a faintly resigned look on her face. 

Sigrun’s eyes narrowed, and there was a faint tingle in the air, as from static electricity, a sensation like a storm was about to strike. “Reginleif.” Her tone was flat.

“I had not realized that Niðhoggr could change his size, that he could speak, or that he would condescend to use me as a throw-pillow.” 

It was that, or chew-toy.

only valid character

A sword—a simple Roman shortsword, used by legates and tribunes and centurions to denote rank—had somehow been slipped into the poured stone.

my heart

The face in Fritti’s mind clarified. He was the teacher, the mentor, the friend, the lover, the mysterious father, the lord of lies, the master of illusion and trickery, and the sacrificed god, all at once.

People are complicated, gods are shaped by their people, the circle of stupidity is complete

Today I am a valkyrie. Today, I choose life.

frittigil ❤

Fritti suddenly found her face burning in the darkness. Did they hear...? 

I muffled your sounds. Or did I? His tone became musing. I may have been distracted...

Perils of schtupping a trickster god

Naglfar, Loki said, his voice intrigued. It was the name of the boat that would supposedly bring the survivors of Ragnarok to safety. Your Name has changed, Sigrun Stormborn. Your wyrd has changed. I did not expect this.

multiclassing

“I considered that, but taverna owners object to decapitations beside the salad bar. Unhygienic.”

keep that shit in the bbq pit where it belongs

“Undersea seismological events?”  A clatter so loud she thought the chimes might have impaled themselves in the ceiling.

that’s how you know it’s kanmi

Amaterasu’s vision swam across Minori’s eyes, and for an instant, she could see a small, amorphous blob that looked vaguely like a jellyfish made of red light, bobbing around the room.

kanmiblob

Minori sipped at her tea. “Only that I am not Trennus at the age of twenty-six, Lassair. You were able to control his behavior and his reactions quite nicely, until he was in his late forties, early fifties—longer than expected, because of his physical youth—but then he started to realize, as everyone must, that he had grown up. And you had remained precisely the same. That is approximately when he and Saraid began to grow close, isn’t it?” 

Lassair sank in on herself. Why are we talking about this? This is not why I came here.

“I just wanted to bang, not get lectured about my maturity.”

A little breath of wind across her face. “You’re stronger right now, aren’t you?” 

Yes. One word, breathed in her ear. Minori closed her eyes on the sudden sting of tears. This was all the validation she needed.

“Because I told her no? Or because you’re angry with her right now?” The breeze caressed her, but no other words whispered themselves against her ear.

we all know kanmi subsists entirely on anger

I can almost feel Kanmi readying himself to throw chalk at me every time I do so.” Minori laughed out loud, and caught sight, behind Sigrun, of a book slowly opening and riffling through its own pages.

[loads gun] book’s haunted

Sigrun looked down. “Yes, Min.” She sighed. “So Nith reminds me on almost a daily basis.” 

From across the room, a piece of chalk winged itself at Sigrun, who jumped slightly and stared at Minori. “Not me,” Min said, spreading her hands, but she could feel her own smile spreading across her face now. Sigrun’s eyes widened slightly, and she stared around the room, her expression faintly confused.

Esh the Bastard returns

“I’d tell you to tell Adam to believe —”

“But fuck that guy.”

Half the girls Zaya had known who’d taken their basic diploma, were now married, and half of them were pregnant.

military marriage culture

He shifted form, slowly, in front of the younglings, keeping to a crouch, so he’d look smaller. These children were Goths of some variety . . . they’d probably been raised with public nudity in Roman baths and pools, sporting arenas and beaches. Still, there was no reason to risk shocking either of them further.

I too find penises shocking

She’d patted them on their heads, and offered them fresh meat to eat—human, naturally, which had only traumatized the children further.

found the cannibalism

“Their gold mines were seized by the Empire in ninety-nine AC, but they were permitted to stay an autonomous, self-ruling state, even when the Empire established a colonia in the region, under the rule of Caesarion the God-Born.

I’ve been watching the new Carmen Sandiego Netflix cartoon and all this makes me think of is whenever they announce where they’re going next and run down all the edutainment factoids about that place. They try to make it conversational, but it is what it is.

“Apparently, he makes his new followers eat their former leaders. After he picks out the brains for himself.”

found more cannibalism

I would like you and your people to circle in and go after the leader. Capture if possible. Kill if there’s no other option.” 

And then what, daughter of Tyr? Fenris bared his teeth. Bind him?

I feel like Fenris has some unresolved issues

“Talk to Saraid. Fenris wouldn’t stop you. And you’d feel less disconnected.”

call ur mom maccis

“I am taking advice on the writing of love letters from a dragon, while crouching naked in the snow,” Maccis muttered. 

“I didn’t want to point that out,” Sigrun noted,

tfw you look at your life from the outside for a second and realize how weird everything is

The earliest known production of steel had been in Anatolia, four thousand years ago, and some had been produced in East Africa fourteen hundred years before Caesar, but in both cases, the technology simply hadn’t been adopted on a wider scale. The earliest large-scale production had been in India and Sinhala, and it had been picked up and spread north through Qin and west through Persia. By four hundred years before Caesar, steel had been in use in the Roman Empire...but only for weapons.

there will be a quiz. 

(this is meant to provide context on how old Eir is, but like. we have an out-of-universe context for when steel became a thing, just reference the use of steel for weapons and maybe the “four hundred years before Caesar” part and trust the reader to fill in the blanks. this kind of stuff is for appendices or eventual “The World Of” books.)

A certain amount of distance is necessary, if you wish to retain your sanity. If you allow yourself to love mortals, as a mortal does, then you are bound to suffer when they die. And suffer you will, over and over and over again. In time, all you will see in a newborn is the inevitability of their death.

I mean that just sounds like anxiety but go off I guess

A brief, highly male thought entered Brandr’s head

being inappropriately sexual isn’t male, it’s just gross

he wondered if her lustrous black wings would get in her way if she was on her back in bed, or if she’d prefer, for her own comfort, for her lover to take her on her hands and knees.

There's something here about not even considering if she'd want to be on top but I'm too tired to find it

“T-tell...L-loki...to...to t-take...” he stopped, and inhaled. “To take b-back his d-damned m-mem...memories. I would r-rather re-remember the truth. Even if it is that I d-did vile d-deeds. Or let me r-remember n-nothing at all. B-better that th-than a...f-fucking lie.” He balled up a fist. It had taken so damned long to say it all.

Yeah, stammering or stuttering is displayed within a set of sounds, or with a kind of aphasia, or as stretching out sounds in the middle of words, not just catching the start of every sentence. It runs the risk of looking like cry-typing, but if you’re gonna insist on being phonetically accurate it’s the line you gotta walk.

But no. Fenris, in the midst of a hunt, was implacable, and mere geography did not deter him. Without access to the Veil, he’d long since learned to tighten the surface bonds of water so that he could run atop it. He could even run on empty air. And so long as the pack stayed close enough to him, they all shared in his narrow path of solid-surfaced water.

just run your whole pack across the ocean, nbd

a central market area, or a playa

oh good we’re doing this again

Maccis pounced on the back of one of the statues, as the stone began to crack, and light radiated out of it, as the god began to make himself manifest. He raked and tore with all four lindworm paws, not expecting to do much against stone...but at least I’ll distract one of them...

as maccis joins the family business

[nochiquinn]

book 2 part 2: eat the f u c k i n g apple

(hey I do these for fun and they’ll never be behind a paywall or anything but they take a LONG TIME and if you like them and want to throw a dollar my way I would be very appreciative. paypal.me | ko-fi)

So while Illa’zhi had been the boy’s stepfather since the age of eight, there were constants in the universe, and one of them was that young men and their fathers argued and pushed one another.

I mean, they don’t HAVE to, unless you’re really dead-set on perpetuating toxic tropes

I have never created anything before. I am a spirit of destruction. I … did not even think that we would succeed, until now, in even this much.

Zhi ♥

He put a hand on her hair, which was so dark a garnet as to be almost black, but shot through with blond strands. Like living fire. The only mark of her heritage on her.

Somehow in all the times I’ve read this I missed that detail. That sounds gorgeous.

Propraetor Antonius Valerius Livorus (Ret.) … Assassinated in his home

“Oh, do put Livorus on. Sigrun won’t let me tell him not to shake hands with the man who hates his roof. He’ll boil the blood in his veins if he does.”

Her psyche, fragile and unformed at the age of ten, might have been resilient enough to stretch around the gift of prophecy … but she’d simply received too much of it. It had broken her mind—Lassair called her a broken mirror, reflecting truth, but in shards. And it was true.

:(

Of course, when have the gods ever been merciful to me? Oh, sister, how I wish this gift had never come to me. That I could turn it away, make it sleep. Encyst it within myself. But I cannot. I have to keep looking. Deeper. Further. Because I have tiny reasons for hope. I know you’ll live. And if I keep true to the path, I’ll … get to see it, through you. That’ll be enough, won’t it? Tears ran down her face. Why don’t I get to be one of the ones who will live? Have I not done everything that could ever be required of me? Why must I taste only of the bitter cup of poison, and never of the sweet?

Sophia Deserved Better

He loved Sigrun, for all her prickly nature and cool demeanor, and he knew Lassair and Saraid did, too, but he didn’t think Adam had thought through some of the underlying implications.

poly

Now, the whole world explodes, and she’s somehow the only survivor? I think anyone would have problems then.” Trennus chuckled, but sobered, watching Adam’s face shut down a bit. “Hey, come on. Sophia’s prophecies haven’t come true yet. And, gods know, as long as Loki’s curse on Sig persists? I’m not going to worry about the world ending.”

🤔

Also? Literally every single thing she has ever told you has come to pass. Literally everything. You all just lack an enormous amount of foresight.

“Sophia told me, the first time I spoke with her on the phone in Nahautl, that Lassair used to be a fertility goddess, and that she wanted to tell Kanmi she was sorry about his wife.” Adam’s expression was grim, and Trennus’ cup slipped in his hand, spilling coffee on the conference room table. “Admittedly, I just don’t see the whole ‘your wife will be your widow before you meet her again’ thing coming true, but … better safe than sorry.” 

Trennus mopped up his spilled coffee before any of it could reach Adam’s stacks of papers. “Morrigan’s mercy.  … What else did she say?” 

“That she wanted to tell Livorus not to shake hands with the man who hated his roof. That he’d have his blood boiled, if he did.”

🤔

Flip through my list of contacts, and find Sophia Caetia’s number. Should be under the heading of either ‘Oracle of Delphi’ or ‘pain in my ass.’

adam 

I’m not quoting it but I just wanted to state for the record that Caesarion IX’s eulogy always makes me cry

“No one ever said it was real,” Kanmi told her, calmly. “It’s just religion, after all.”

kanmi be nice it’s a funeral

“One small point. My father’s sword.” He looked at the four lictors who’d been with Livorus until his retirement. “He always carried it with him. It’s not … I’m sorry to ask this, but it’s not in his effects.” He sighed. “I thought I might carry it, to remember him.” 

“It’s in Fennmark,” Adam told him, simply. “Pushed into the ground to mark the spot where a god died.” 

Marcus’ blue eyes widened, and then he nodded to Adam, who’d been his father’s chief body-guard for most of his life. “Good enough,” he admitted. “Thank you for telling me.”

I mean if you can think of a better memorial I’d like to hear it

Duilus attempted to stare him down. “Let me ask the questions here.” 

“Oh, by all means. When you get to one that’s interesting, let me know.” Kanmi couldn’t help the goad.

kanmi be nice he’s a baby

The one thing he’d been careful not to explain to the young and paranoid Agent Duilus was that when dealing with the five percent of the world’s sorcerers, ley-mages, and summoners, who played the game at his level … it was very, very unwise to anger them.

This is in response to Himi getting shot in the spine during a riot in Carthage, so add messing with kanmi’s kids into the mix…

“I’m not a god-born. I yell into the wind, I get a face-full of saliva.”

gross. accurate, but gross.

“A god is missing, yes?” He paused. “Yours, by chance? I hear rumors that he’s very quiet.”

yes but we don’t talk about it, kanmi

“So you want me to research this CLP group more intensely?” 

Adam closed his eyes. “No. I want you to join them.” 

Kanmi froze. “What did you just say?”

w e l p

Why is it always me? Why is it never Matru or you, ben Maor?

Please picture for a moment, Trennus Matrugena, the enormous, ageless barbarian with the tattoos and the purple eyes…undercover.

Also Adam’s a tool.

Unfortunately, that was the last time any of them saw Kanmi Eshmunazar for three years. 

After two weeks without word from him, Lassair stretched out her feelers of attention, trying to find a familiar mind, to no avail. Saraid, likewise, could not find the Carthaginian sorcerer anywhere. 

It was as if he had vanished into the deserts of northern Africa, and had not even left behind a ghost.

:(

Sigrun had seen the joy in Trennus’ face at holding his newest children from Saraid … and a week later, tightness around his lips, and worry in her old friends’ eyes, as Lassair had presented him with another pair.

lassair

But it wasn’t her business, so Sigrun kept her mouth firmly shut. But she did hope that Trennus would open his own, at some point.

trennus talk to your wife challenge

I am grandmother to the entire damned world, Sigrun occasionally reflected. If Fritti is the maiden and spring, Saraid is gentle summer and new life, Lassair is the mother and the harvest, then I am the crone. I am death and winter. But then again, that’s hardly anything new.

yeah about that

Looking at the broken pieces of mirror reminded her of … something. Sigrun stared at the floor, as if expecting to see the rest there, then down at her hands, half-thinking that she’d see blood welling from her fingertips. She couldn’t quite understand the sensation of panic that expanded up through her chest, the tightness to her own breath. There was a memory, but she couldn’t bring it forwards in her mind. Something a very long time ago. Wearing a very long dress, and broken glass everywhere … .

that’s a ptsd right there

I’m sorry, Truthsayer. The good news is, I can tell you when you’ll see him again. Your future stays easy to read, all the way to the end. And though you’ll carry a piece of the sun inside of you, you won’t be … eclipsed by it, or burned alive by the flames, as the Archmage is and will be.”

actually one of sophia’s less obvious prophecies, to be fair

Sigrun rather thought that Sophia was trying to be comforting. Trying to express her vision in words that they could understand, for a wonder.

You not understanding her isn’t her fault, Sig, it’s you not trying to understand. Like put in the .5 seconds of work to put together the clues she is trying to give you, or at the very least try to remember them so you recognize them when they show up.

A tear rolled down her face and splashed on the page. “It’s so hard, Sigrun. It’s so hard to know … all the things that I know.”

sophia ;-;

“I’m so sorry. For everything. I love you, sister. I might not … I might not always be able to tell you that. But I do.” 

Sigrun sighed. “I love you, too, Sophia.” 

“Do you know … what the difference … between a servant and a slave is, Sigrun?” The words were barely audible. 

Sigrun considered it for a moment. “A servant can say no.” 

“And you do, Sigrun. You say no every single day. Oh, how I envy you that word.”

Sophia. Deserved. Better.

“His terror is what’s filling you. And he’s not protecting you from it, out of spite. Like he cursed Cassandra for refusing to share his bed, permitted no one to believe her prophecies.” Rage at the injustice filled her. What can you expect of a god whose primary hobby was chasing dryads, nymphs, and young men and seducing or raping them? And I cannot call him to account for it!

apollo deserved worse

Somehow, the day had gone from bright and sunny, somewhere around eighty degrees, to the miserable kind of cold drizzle that usually only appeared in Hellas in midwinter.

🤔

Sigrun blinked. “My winds are used for defensive purposes,” she objected, rapidly, as the two columns came closer. “I can bat away projectiles. I cannot use them for offense!” 

Learn, valkyrie. And learn quickly, would be my advice.

zhi understands. zhi gets me.

Black and red burns laced her skin, and she ached, but a sudden downpour of rain coursed over her body, and a howling wind forced water into all the efreet on the battlefield.

hey look at that

“I’m not doing that!’ Sigrun shouted back. “Weather is weather. Gods influence it, but it’s a confluence of natural events, highs and lows spread out over thousands of miles. I can’t move that much air, let alone summon water. Lightning, yes! Localized winds, yes! Rain, no!” 

Zhi’s enormous, fiery eyes regarded her. Just as you say, Stormborn. The sensation of barely leashed rage dissipated.

goddamit sig

Sigrun wanted to object. The usual rule of spirits being the only things that could truly kill other spirits rushed to her lips, and then she remembered Hel sneering at Brandr, You think that we would give to a mere god-born, a weapon capable of defeating one of us? How foolish. 

We … can. Of course we can. I’ve killed a god, however … lucky the circumstances. Of course I can �� truly slay a spirit. Brandr probably could have killed Hel, if he’d been stronger, or if he’d had a more powerful weapon to hand. And Nith did kill her … and he’s as much a god-born as any I’ve ever seen. We’re half-mortal, half-spirit. We can reach them, so long as they are manifested. And that is, of course, why Zeus wished to kill all his mortal descendants. How foolish I was, not to understand that sooner. I had all the pieces, but  … didn’t apply them. And the gods keep very quiet about this … and bind us very tightly, in these days, so that we do not have random traitors killing gods.  No wonder they have kept such close tabs on me, over the years. They want to ensure that I do not tell others of this. That the god-born are well-suited to being godslayers.

you rationalize that denial, sigrun. you rationalize the hell out of it.

“Your other choice is to continue as you’ve been going along—and I am certain there has been some going along going on—and wait until one or the other of you slips.” She raised her eyebrows at them. “Want a cookie?”

everybody’s grandmother

A hissing sound, that she’d come to associate with laughter. “We must come up with a better system of communication than my asking questions, and getting yes and no answers. Perhaps I could teach you to write?”

where I am now in the books, nith is talking, and it hurts to go back to him being mute :(

Adam, however, required almost nothing to make him anonymous.

a bland tool

I can barely see him, Lassair replied, in a tone of perfect horror and anguish. His spirit is barely visible. It is like looking at someone who has endured horrific suffering, and has locked themselves away inside of themselves … or one who has been bound. Unwillingly.

:(

Kanmi went rigid behind her. “Himi married one of Tren’s brood?”

1. yeah he did 2. I am torn between hating the “main cast’s kids all marry each other” trope and finding it appropriate in this case. like there are very few people who understand being spiritborn or raised around magic or both, so it makes sense they’d be drawn to each other that way. Also the fact that 95% of their childhoods are classified.

Kanmi put his head against her throat again, and she could feel something hot and wet streak against her neck.

:(

Another hot, wet drop, and then Kanmi whispered, “I’m going to kill Trennus. Just for the record. And possibly his son, too. It may take me a while.”

lassair is right there, kanmi

“And one of the ways they ensure loyalty?” His voice was sick. “They took me from the conference to an old shrine in the desert. And they held me, blindfolded and bound, with a gun to my head … and cut my hands open, so I bled into a fire. Blood sacrifice, Min. They fucking blood-bound me to Baal-Hamon.”

:(

“Doesn’t that mean that Baal-Hamon knows you’re … ?” 

“Faithful to the Praetorians? Yes. But he doesn’t care. That’s the … really strange thing. He’s … in my head, sometimes … “ Kanmi sounded sick. “But he doesn’t seem to care why I do what I do, so long as I do it.”

Honestly this whole storyline makes me feel awful and the only reaction I have is :( (Min says some of it, about how Kanmi refused to be bound by anyone or anything, and then was forced into a contract with a god he’s eschewed all his life. It’s devastating for both Kanmi and the people who love him and know how much this is opposed to his very nature.)

But … he might understand … that I’m not necessarily a traitor to my people. That the CPL themselves might be, instead. He listens to them. But he … does hear me.” Kanmi looked up, his face gray with tiredness. “I’ve had worse bosses.”

see, everyone likes kanmi eventually.

And at the moment, his thoughts were clearly scattered to the four winds. Possibly because the god that bound him was … in and of himself … scattered. This infuriated Minori. Her husband’s mind was a bright flame, a beacon, and seeing him so … distracted, degraded, by circumstances and a god’s touch hurt.

hits ba’al hamon with yang’s motorcycle

…if you think I’m being taken over … then Adam takes his gun and he shoots me in the head. You understand? Two shots, Adam ben Maor. Make sure the brain is gone.”

:(((((

“Fuck that. I’m not doing this to be a hero. I’m not doing this for the good of the fucking Empire. And while I wish I could claim that I was doing it to save innocent lives, that’s not why, either. I’m doing it because a good man asked me to. A man I know is better than I am myself. And I trust Adam’s opinion more than I trust my own.” Kanmi’s voice was miserable. “I’m compromised. I know it. But I’m coming home. Or I’m going to die trying.”

1. literally way 2. kanmiiiii

Is it too much to hope for, that if I ever happen to be there when a god is slain again, that it might be Apollo of Delphi’s death that I witness?

kick him in the dick

“Don’t cry, Zaya. It’s just important to realize that we never get anywhere entirely on our own.

Zaya is honestly my favorite of the next-gen kids, bc she’s one of like four that gets any development outside of “married another one of the kids”

Lassair assured Minori, calmly, folding her hands over her pregnant belly.

lassair NO

What else am I going to do with all these illusions? Special effects for the cinema? Play games while the world burns around me?

I get it, but…don’t underestimate the power of fiction and escapism in difficult times

Fritti watched, in amusement, as the seeds with which they’d pelted the couple began to grow around Inghean’s bare feet, sprouting into an abundance of flowers around the bench on which they sat.

inghean is cute

She’d only seen his true face once. But it had haunted her dreams for over two decades now, first in anger, and then in regret. Radulfr. Loki.

“Here’s where Rig and Inghean are going to get married, in 1985. His father will be there for the ceremony, you know. Fritti’s going to see Loki, like a ghost at the feast, and cry on your shoulder when she can’t find him.“

I will … endeavor to be ready. I may not be able to stand with my brethren. But I can, at least, stand with humanity. And with you.

loki deserved better. (it gets better. eventually.)

An individual person could be deeply intelligent. But put that intelligent person in the middle of a crowd and subject that person to the mob mentality, and all vestiges of intelligence would drain away, being replaced with social dynamics, really.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals.”

He still wasn’t sure if he should be vaguely threatened by her obvious attachment to the beast…

oh my god, Adam. at his point in time nith is little more than a particularly expressive mount, as far as either of you know, and you are a paranoid tool.

“True. But … you get used … to being around someone … all the time.” Her words grew further and further apart. “You grow into them … like two trees, leaning on each other. And when they’re gone … there’s no one to help you … hold yourself … up.” She moved her fingers in his. “You helped … hold me up,” she told him. “You’re a … good son.” Abigayil sighed, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “I wish you had been able …  to have children … of your own.”

hey look now that I’m in a long-term relationship for the first time this bit (abagayil on her deathbed talking about missing her late husband) is fucking devastating

“But I am powerless.” 

“Nonsense. I am arming you with the most powerful weapon in existence.” “What’s that?” 

“Knowledge.” 

Zaya thought that was possibly the stupidest adult thing to say, ever, but couldn’t say that to her mother, of course.

give it time, zaya

I had something better in mind. I will move the whole house.

just the whole thing. it’s fine.

A few of the servants, including her pedagogue, were sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth and holding their heads, and moaning. Some of the servants just shrieked and ran into the woods, and some of them … were just plain missing. They usually had a staff of twenty people. Zaya only saw twelve.

the veil isn’t kind to mortals, and zhi had priorities on who to protect

A swan preened itself in a vast lake,

🤔

Jerusalem, her father said. His form was flickering in and out of existence, to her horror. An empty lot your mother purchased, years ago. Shadeslore … .

“Go!” her mother cried. “Go rest!” 

Her father winked out, and Zaya reached out for him again, crying in earnest now. “Father!” 

He didn’t reappear for two weeks.

1. zhi :( 2. “shadeslore” is just a really cool name

One of the houses was completely covered in vines. Flowers, grapes, everything. It was just a mound of green that happened to have doors and windows.

That’s Our Matrugenas

The course of history would have been different if the empire had fallen two thousand or fifteen hundred years ago, but Kanmi couldn’t even imagine what a map of the world would look like without Rome. A mosaic of tiny, petty kingdoms, all squabbling for scraps to survive, he thought, and buried the thought.

get off the fourth wall, kanmi, it’s fragile

You want something from me in sacrifice? You take my life. Not my son’s. You understand me?”

:(

If this doesn’t work, Min, don’t come looking for me too soon. If there’s an afterlife, I will kick your ass if I find you there before your time.

always the romantic

“Syphilis. I caught it off this Nipponese prostitute. Looks just like you.”

1. Kanmi you little shit 2. Why is it always syphilis 3. Why does that make me miss Mollymauk

When my time comes, bury me in Jerusalem. A notable Pythia of Delphi once told me that this was important to my continued survival. I have no idea how this is even possible, but fine, pop me in the ground there like a seed. 

Maybe I’ll sprout. 

—Kanmi Eshmunazar

I don’t have a note, this is just so Kanmi it hurts

He almost wished he could fly with her, but after having seen what had happened to Erida’s fully-human servants on being pulled through the Veil? Adam would really rather pass. Though he did have an itch of curiosity about Trennus’ dream-realm there.

you should go. maybe stay forever.

Hissing laughter, and then he launched himself skywards again, and Sigrun headed for the main doors, resigned to the fact that Nith, after two thousand years as Hel’s lackey, had clearly decided that he was not about to be banished to the shadows again now that Hel was dead. Or perhaps, he’d decided that he wasn’t going to let Sigrun lurk there, herself.

Nith ♥

You’re expected, Sigrun Stormborn, the dwarf greeted her without preamble. Tyr, Odin, and Freya. Quite an audience. Mind your manners. We don’t need any more thunderstorms in the area.

Dvalin gets it. (Dvalin gets pretty much everything.)

We’re all rather fascinated. A mortal, building a constructed realm in the Veil. Never been done before. I’d personally like to visit, if he’d give me permission. You will ask him, won’t you? I like to see how other people have surmounted the technical challenges I encountered in designing this place with Odin. 

Sigrun blinked, rapidly, as her worlds collided inside of her head. After a moment, flummoxed, she replied, “I will ask him if he, Asha, and Sari might be inclined to receive you as a guest.”

in over your head yet, sig?

Why this insistence, that god-born are what they are, and nothing more? You will not remember, but I will have your thoughts, Sigrun Stormborn.

tfw your own gods call you out

… she’d found her dead mother’s clothing, locked away in a chest, and pulled them out. Scattered them all over her father’s room. Sigrun pulled on a fancy silk dress, peacock blue and shimmering … .

… She laughed, knowing she was getting away with something, but prune-faced Medea was out in the front yard, talking with the neighbors. Sigrun had time, and she danced in front of the mirror in her father’s room, another relic of her dead mother. A perfect oval, twice her height, balanced on swinging hinges. She undid her braid and floated up to grab her mother’s old brush off the dresser and swept it through her hair, letting it ripple down over her shoulders, and flew back over to hover in front of the mirror, well-pleased by what she saw there. If I fly up a little higher … yes! That way, the dress doesn’t drag on the ground. This is what I’ll look like when I grow up!

She peeked over her shoulder and out the window. She didn’t see Medea still out there, talking to the neighbors. Uh-oh. She flew over to peek out the window more carefully, and that was when Medea found her. Dressed in her dead mother’s clothing, and the very image of the dead woman. Sigrun’s eyes had widened, and she’d babbled apologies, but Medea had been merciless. You worthless little wretch. You don’t need to look in a mirror. It’s a good thing you’ll never be beautiful. After all, you’re nothing but a weapon for these brutish northern gods, do you hear me? You’re going to be covered in scars. Better that you learn that early. All you are is a crow capering around in peacock feathers …  .

… the mirror shattered, even as Sigrun stared at herself in it, pieces clattering to the floor. Medea had ripped the brush out of Sigrun’s hands and thrown it at the mirror. Now, almost spitting down into Sigrun’s face, the formal slave’s collar at her throat with its small silver tag indicating Ivarr’s ownership of her services glittering in the light coming in the window. You think an accident of birth makes you better than everyone else? It doesn’t! It makes you a slave, the same as me! Get that through your head! You’re nothing but a slave, and you’re going to learn your place … .

… Weeping on the floor. Picking up the pieces of broken mirror, one at a time, each slicing her fingers open. The cuts healed, but the blood stayed on the floor, soaking into the wood. Seeing her face in fragments and pieces, jagged and broken, a hundred tiny images, and every one of them promised pain. And when her father got home, Medea told him that Sigrun had been playing with her mother’s things, and that Sigrun had broken the mirror, in her carelessness. Her father’s disappointment, particularly since Sigrun refused to tell the truth and confess her crime. His spanking hurt worse than every caning Medea ever dished out, because he believed Medea, and not her. And Sigrun knew, looking into Medea’s eyes, that the woman had won. Her father would always believe her pedagogue. It would do no good to tell him about the canings. It would do no good to say anything at all. Oh, she’d finally told him. Twenty-three years later, as she protected Sophia from Medea’s wrath. In all the years between that moment, and Ivarr’s death, he’d never raised the subject again. Had stayed married to Medea until the end. And thus Sigrun had known, though he often had questions in his eyes, that her father had preferred Medea’s lies to her truth. Comfortable, familiar lies. Or at least, a comfortable, familiar life … .

 For the young valkyrie, there was nothing for it, but to try to avoid the behaviors that triggered Medea’s rage. No mirrors. Nothing that hinted at vanity. No pride. But when Medea was wrong, and Sigrun’s sense of justice flared, she held fast. She was a valkyrie. The bruises would heal. She learned not to turn her head and not to flinch. Valuable lessons for later. But the harshest lesson of all, was the inner understanding of human jealousy. Medea had not had a hard life, for a slave; she was included in the family, given respect; Ivarr had even paid her a wage, though he had certainly not been required to do so. In no way had she been treated as a slave, except that the law required her to wear a collar, and did not permit her to leave Ivarr’s service until he manumitted her or sold her contract. But Medea had envied a child. She’d envied Sigrun her freedom, which Medea’s parents had taken from her when they sold her to pay off her father’s debts. She’d envied the girl the loving relationship with her father, and had introduced distance between them, though probably not consciously. She’d envied the god-born child her bright future and her powers.

I am as human as I can be. I choose mortality. This, and nothing more, or everything will fall apart, and I’ll be destroyed. Crow in peacock feathers … .

This is pieced together in and around other scenes of Sigrun being told she was trying to be too much, taking responsibilities and powers that were too good for her, but this was the important bit. Her whole THING, the avoidance of mirrors, the insistence that she could never advance past what she was at the time…all because Medea was jealous of a child.

Medea deserved worse.

You do not wish even a bite? Freya asked her, mildly. 

Sigrun blinked. She felt as if she’d been asked that question before, just … some other way. “Ah, no. Thank you.” The apples supposedly gave the gods eternal health and youth. Sigrun suspected that they were actually some kind of a physical analogue or conduit for raw Veil energy. Eating one seemed … unhealthy.

the fabled apple

Muninn flapped away, leaving behind a caw that sounded slightly mocking. As if to say that memory would never let her have peace.

I mean he’s not wrong

“We’re about to have a really public fight.” Minori grimaced. “The kind that destroys property.

the best kind

Minori’s smile was only in her voice as she stood, glaring at him, and with a surge of power, threw the table at him.

(that’s not the gif I wanted but it’s cute and I can’t find the one from bleach I want)

Except, she left enough oxygen and pressure in the sphere that Kanmi had to pop the blood vessels in his own eyes—

D:

They’ve been offering sacrifices and blood-bindings to Baal-Samem, and some of the summoners have been sacrificing to Dagon, too.

(it dagon)

“There have been times in my life when I’ve wished people would just invent a way for me to get by without sleep.

it’s called cocaine

“In the end, it is your call, Adam. Whether or not we trust that local gardia have not been compromised, and whether or not we call for backup from local Praetorian offices.”

this is one of those netflix CYOA things isn’t it. like telling bear grylls whether or not to eat worms.

“The gods said that I was not here as their agent, Niðhoggr! Your presence here could start a war between the gods themselves!”

too late

Infinitely preferable, Trennus had once told Adam, with a hint of a smile. I’m not the sort of man who should ever try to look like a woman. At my height and weight, it’s fairly ridiculous.

support tall trans women

If it was a firearm, and inside her sixty-foot range

those moments you can really tell the author plays d&d 

“Dagon!” the summoners cried out, as one. “Dagon, Dagon, Dagon!”

“THE FUCK Y’ALL WANT”

Though these limbs were no longer intended to bear his massive weight in any bipedal fashion, he still managed to rake his talons along Nith’s side as the dragon sped past, and Nith’s razor-barbed tail, long and sinuous, whipped out, thought-fast, and caught the creature across its armored snout.

NITH used TAIL WHIP

(that is not what Tail Whip does)

Lassair felt the child’s last flickers of thought. Vague, incoherent gratitude that the pain had gone away. Love of the father, bewilderment, what did I do that was bad?

look. I got kids. this is Bad for my Psyche. 

(normally senseless child death is a good way to get me to drop a series BUT this isn’t done in a “look how edgy I am, look how far I’m willing to go” way. looking at you, game of thrones. and the walking dead. and the strain.)

She looked at the father, still on the floor, but staring now at his son’s body, his eyes wide. She couldn’t read his emotions. And they didn’t matter. Lassair rose out of the tiny body, fighting for a form that somehow expressed the full fury of her rage, her desire for vengeance, and knew, dimly, that she was teeth and claws and flame, all at once, as she fell on the man, who rolled away, putting up his arms and a sorcerous barrier of some sort, meant to hold away fire. You shield yourself from the flames? Her claws skated over the shell of energy, and she could feel some of her power drained, blunted, taken away from her. It only enraged her further. You, who threw your own child to them? She pounced on him, dropping him with her weight, seeing the shocked eyes go even wider. You dare? You who should have protected him from the flames? She settled her weight onto her front claws and brought up her rear ones, kicking and raking at his belly and shields. Who should never have brought him here! You dare!

lassair is me in this moment

You know my servant, fireling … I have felt your presence in his wife before … . 

Have known him and loved him longer than your Name has meant anything to him than something to swear by. Lassair’s lips curled back from her teeth, and she wondered what would happen if she shattered the god’s damnable statue. Could I kill him? Could I free Emberstone, so?

do it

Saved by a god. How the mighty have fallen.

kanmi I get you but also maybe be a little grateful

“I am a battle-maiden of Tyr,” Sigrun taunted softly. “You will find that I dare many things. Perhaps you should test yourself against me, instead of against fertility spirits and mortal children.”

Lots of grounding points, I suppose. Either that, or Caetia ate Baal-Samem raw and whole.

yeah about that

Require safety/succor/harbor/body/AVATAR!

this doesn’t end well

A memory, over fifty years old, surfaced. Being held down beneath the water by his brothers, his lungs burning with the need to breathe. It had been just as hard then, to cling to consciousness. It had been just as hard to fight against an infinitely superior force. I will not give in, I will not give up, I will not give in, I will not give up, I will not give in, I will not give up … . Minori’s face flickered in his mind, and Kanmi clung to that, too, old, young, in between. Masako’s. Bodi’s. Himi’s. I will not give in! I will not give up!

I will not bow I will not bend I will not break

Kanmi turned, and Adam was stunned to see that he still had sun-shards in place of his eyes. It was worth a try, Kanmi told them all. Adam didn’t realize, until much later, that the words had been in his mind. Too much Baal. Too many of them.

:(

My choice this time, valkyrie. Not yours. Now get out of here, all of you.

I’m remembering why I don’t reread these books often

Stay, Min, he told her, gently, the words echoing in her mind, like a spirit’s, and tears began to roll down her face. This is mine to do. And if there’s a way. If there’s any way at all … you know I’ll come back to you. Bury my bones, assuming you can find any of them, in Jerusalem. And live.

maybe he’ll sprout

Minori didn’t look away from the explosion. The brightness should have seared her eyes to blindness, and in her despair, she wanted that. She wanted the last thing she would ever see to be the funeral pyre that claimed her husband, but he’d wrought his protective spell around them too well for that. The fireball lifted off, and cloud convection formed a towering mushroom cloud that went up probably into the stratosphere, and all Minori could do was stare up at it in anguish. Because Kanmi’s mind no longer touched hers.

dramatic ass

No bodies. No humanity. Just the last, twisted remnants that had been Baal’s fragmenting consciousness. Given perhaps a little direction by the remaining human minds that had melded with the god. Minori was aware of … mad laughter. Glee, really. And then all of them rose into the sky, and fled, leaving only their laughter in their wake.

off to form the plot of the third book

A dozen or more vortexes of power that had once been human, but now were gods had just taken to the sky—the very thing that Kanmi had given his life to prevent.

“He’ll die saving you. All of you. He’ll be a hero. Admittedly, it won’t help in the end, but …” She shrugged. “Nothing really will, now will it?

When we were lictors under the late propraetor, Antonius Valerius Livorus, we often joked that the four of us were the fingers in Rome’s fist, or its extended hand of friendship. Eshmunazar, no doubt, was the digit most often responsible for rude gestures…

#kanmikin

“Besides, the last time your mother sent the car, your butler said something about finding dog hair in the back seat. And I didn’t even change.” [Maccis] shrugged.

eat him

Zaya flopped down into a hammock

Bullshit. No one flops into a hammock without ending up on the ground.

In Hellas, Sophia Caetia had awoken this morning, and didn’t see herself taking any appointments. For once, she knew precisely what day it was

I don’t want it

I can already see her, the swan-maiden disguised as the swan. Red eyes and black hair, replacing blue and white. You’ll be coming home soon, won’t you, lost one?

🤔

The small woman pushed away from her escorts, and slipped and slid her way to the pillar of salt. She wrapped her arms around it, and pressed her lips to its cold surface … and it began to crumble away, revealing what was trapped inside. Bones. Carbon-black, as from being burned, but perfectly preserved, when they should have been vaporized by the blast wave … as, indeed, all other flesh in the immediate vicinity had been.

plant my bones in Judea…

It seems to me, from your records, that any time that you are sent somewhere, the result is nothing but destruction.”

hey. rude. kind of true, but still rude.

Agent Duilus poked his head in

“Hear me,” he said, and the back of his mind told him that he probably shouldn’t enjoy this, as he caught the back of Duilus’ head in his other hand, and, with two points of contact and a side-step, brought the other man’s face down on his desk.

I shouldn’t have enjoyed that this much, either.

However, she hadn’t slept at night, since Kanmi’s death.

🤔

When I was a child, he told me, that there are monsters in the world, and that there are people whose responsibility it was, to go out and fight them, so that other people didn’t have to do so. I wanted … nothing more, than to be as good a man as he was. To be a sorcerer, if I had the gift, and to go fight monsters, as he did.”

bodiii

He threw back his head, and howled, and for miles around, all across the city, fenris paused in their tracks and echoed him, an homage that went on for fifteen full minutes, in spine-tingling intensity.

laruuuuus

And that if we kept up with this long enough, he might well come back as a god.”

I mean….

If anyone… if anyone has enough strength of will… and he knew his Name… it would be him.”

“He’d do it just to piss people off,”

spite is an excellent motivator

“Tired again? You should try sleeping, Caetia.”

“I would love nothing more.” She yawned.

relateable

This is the fun of being seventy-eight years old, she told herself. No one gets your jokes without ten minutes of explanation first. What’s the point?

it’s a joy of being thirty tbh

She’s resisting it. She’s encysted it. It wouldn’t cause her so much pain, if she accepted it into her. Let it suffuse her. But she sees it as an intrusion, a wound, a foreign object violating her body and mind, and so she resists. […]Concentration, now, trying to see what the darkness meant, and the world around Sigrun faded. The chairs, tables, food … replaced with night. The dark of the void, and stars, here and there, twinkling faintly. And she resists that, too.

that’s it, that’s the trilogy

A shrug. “True enough.” A pause. “You’re sure he can’t change forms?”

yeah about that

People with enough strength of purpose to shape their own lives, survived, and even thrived in the transformations. People who drifted through life aimlessly, with no more ambition than seeing what was on the far-viewer at night, died or went mad.

stop

“It’s about making the game last as long as we can, and saving as many people as possible, in the end. Good-bye, Sigrun. The next time we meet … I might not be able to tell you. But I do love you, my stubborn, stubborn sister. Good-bye.”

I Don’t Want It

The rest of the lesson practically flew after that, as Zaya suddenly found herself highly motivated to learn everything she could about device-based magic. This was something she could use.

congratulations, you’re batman

Zhi continuously put forth the notion that he had no virtues, and that while love was definitely an emotion worth experiencing, other human emotions were inherently weak, and that he did not experience them—pity, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness. She suspected that he did experience them, in varying forms, and usually simply tamped down on them, when they did not directly concern his family.

zhi ❤

Illa’zhi’s mortal form had been patterned off the males he saw around Erida, and those he saw most often in her thoughts. […] Maybe a hint of Carthaginian, for flavor.

erida and kanmi hooked up and I will not hear otherwise

Are you saying that you have a stomachache? Erida rubbed a hand between his shoulder blades, trying not to smile. 

When you next consume a mad god, I will not laugh at you, Zhi informed her with hauteur. I may ask, instead, if you require a glass of water with bicarbonate of soda, but I will not laugh at you.

I love these two

Shiori was a mutt, in other words,

I am really looking forward to this terminology dying out as mixed-race families become more common

But he did poke Sigrun in the ribs about it. “Not even a bite for yourself?” he teased, as she cut another one into thin slices, one for each of the children currently playing in their backyard. 

“No.”

eat the fucking apple

But what Argos had, or claimed to have, was the last resting place of the Fire-Bringer.

8D

She was affiliated, too, with the crossroads, the places between.

eluvians

One path led him to power. The other, to knowledge. And faced with that kind of a choice, Prometheus could only make one decision. He chose knowledge.

I’m standing at a crossrooooooads

“I’m afraid I’m not conversant with the etiquette of the gods,” she said, her eyes only slightly wide as she beckoned a servant in with a silver tray. “However, it’s difficult to go wrong with tea and cakes.” 

Ahh, the laws of hospitality have not changed much, then. Excellent.

look I just love prometheus a lot

Zaya stared at Prometheus. This was nothing like she’d thought meeting a god or demigod would be. He was as filled with wonder, in a way, as a caveman might have been at the modern world … but he was also not overwhelmed by it. He clearly understood the principles behind some of the technology. And he was delighted by it.

I love him

He was also the only adult she knew, other than servants and teachers, who had no powers at all. He wasn’t a sorcerer, ley-mage, summoner, or god-born. And he’d worked with people who were, for over thirty years, and remained, somehow, integral and respected.

debateable

She patted her burgeoning waistline and smiled. Zaya caught the tired expression that flickered across Master Matrugena’s face like a shadow at Lassair’s words. The expression of mild annoyance that flickered across Mistress Caetia’s. But she didn’t understand either.

lassair

And you … are servant to this Tyr? 

“If they are the same entity, then yes.” 

A servant. He repeated the word carefully. 

Mistress Caetia appeared puzzled, but nodded again, politely. “It is my duty to stand as intermediary and intercessor between my gods and humanity. To provide the power of the gods, as needed, to administer justice, to protect humans, and to serve the gods.” 

If you are the servant, I shudder to meet the masters.

sig he is trying to tell you something

Zaya scribbled notes and periodically had the pen slip from nerveless fingers as the people she’d known as prosaic individuals … revealed themselves. Maccis’ father, a counter-summoner working in law enforcement? His neighbors,  the retired Praetorian and the valkyrie, the ones who taught martial arts and had a bottomless cookie jar? Her mother’s colleague, the college professor? They were figures out of legend.

hear that, babe? we’re legends.

That would be a massive amount of water to release back into the oceans

climate change is a qin conspiracy

Minori frowned. Apparently, young people in her homeland weren’t being raised properly these days.

[waves cane]

The old woman shook her head and sighed. “The world has become a suspicious and untrusting place, with no appreciation of the mythic”

back in MY DAY

Your summoner friend really must teach you to bargain better.

I don’t know why this is so funny to me. Amaterasu asked for a conduit, promised not to get weird with Minori’s body, and Minori was all for it.

So, I’m never going to be alone again, am I? 

Is that a bad thing? 

On the whole, Minori didn’t think that it was. It was, in fact, somewhat comforting, and soothed the raw ache that had been a part of her soul for two years now.

:(

Minori thought about it, and realized, Forgiveness is … irrelevant. She brings nothing useful with her. No knowledge. No skills. And that has been the focus of everyone you have had me … recruit. Useful people.

The context is Minori seeing the woman who sexually and emotionally manipulated her begging to get on a plane out of Nippon. Normally the “useful people” line would make me roll my eyes, and it kind of does, but also fuck that lady

He knew his Name. He was a sennin, a sorcerer and summoner, not just a poet. And he had strength of will, and a family who believed in him. He never truly died. His spirit had just enough power to stay, and their belief sustained him … he became a god. Truly? 

Truly, Amaterasu replied. 

A whisper at the back of her mind told her, That means there’s hope for Kanmi. There really is.

And he shall be unto a god. A cranky, cynical god.

Minori stirred in her chair, opening her eyes briefly to realize there were tears running down her face. Her father had not looked away. He had wanted to see the goddess of the sun in all her glory. He had. The radiance had blinded him, and had proven so agonizing, that his heart had stopped … but he had, somehow, died with a smile on his face, and his sword in his hand, prepared to fight against whatever his gods battled in the sky. A good death for a samurai, she thought, and covered her face.

I will fight the sky or die trying

He was something different from almost every other spirit, proof that the human could become the divine, and yet, remain active in the world.

🤔

He’d suggested, about five years ago, that perhaps they should stop having children at all, at least until all of the current ones were out of the house, and added, I’d kind of enjoy having you and Saraid to myself again. Sometime before the turn of the century. Lassair had looked struck, but had hedged.

good for you, trennus

He made a point of talking to everyone in the house, every day. Every child got a little time, even if it was just a word or two before bed. A chance for them to tell him anything at all that happened to be on their minds.

tren is a good dad

“Uncle Adam says all he’s ever needed is a gun, his hands, and the wisdom to know when to use them.” 

“Uncle Adam doesn’t know everything.

uncle adam knows very little

No clutter, beyond a single glass perfume bottle that Trennus had been told had belonged to her mother. Part of a set, with a hairbrush and hand mirror that had been lost, decades ago.

:(

But none of the things you mentioned are actually art.”

trennus. be better.

It’s very far to travel. I can’t be there and here at the same time. She hesitated. Also, the Qin gods may … take it amiss if I go there. 

He raised his eyebrows, and Lassair winced. I have grown too much, she admitted, softly. So has Saraid, but Saraid is … quieter, for all that so many now believe in her. The harpies and the dryads call her name now, before they speak that of Artemis, did you know that?

and that’s how you steal a nature god

Saraid seemed to prefer that half of his name, and he didn’t blame her; Flamesower made him sound like Lassair’s property.

I mean

This sounds like the physicists’ talk of other quantum universes. Ones in which causality and decisions made, have led them to fragment off. But the Veil cannot fragment, because it is eternal. And it cannot open onto every one of these quantum universes. If it did, spirits could travel between them, freely. And they would remember. They would remember everything that they saw and experienced in other worlds, and would be able to tell the differences, because the memories of one realm would not match the memories of other realms.

They’re standing in what is for all intents and purposes alternate London (maybe ours, but I’m not familiar enough with it to recognize the statue that’s described) and I just picture it in the glitchy, grainy monochrome of Elizabeth’s tears in Bioshock Infinite

It was overwhelming to think that Saraid had known it all, in advance. Then why … he floundered. Why did you wait until after Lassair… ? 

Because you were not ready for me, and you had so much more to do and see and experience. And then you found her, and chose to keep her alive, and events progressed. In the end, it does not matter. You will protect my woods and my people, when the time comes. I do not know how, but all I see is fire and smoke in the future. And you love me now, as I have always loved you.

saraid :(

(also all narration in the veil is in italics and it is the fucking worst; the narration is in italics and the dialogue is thought-speech so it’s differentiated by being in italics and underlined, but none of that helps, it still gives me a headache)

Wild-heart … I’m sorry. I did not know. I was a fool when I was young. 

That is, as far as I can tell, the purpose of being young, for humans.

she’s not wrong

“I’m not leaving without you. Kanmi would jump up out of his grave and strangle me if I did, and Asha will kill me if I’m not home to help with the children by dinnertime. Please don’t make me choose between which horrible fate I’d rather face, and just come along quietly.”

I don’t have a comment, tren is just cute

And she knew, with sudden acuteness, that Trennus had that same sensation of … missing a wheel in his own mind. Kanmi had brought much to them each, which now was lost. “I know,” she finally said, her throat aching, and he squeezed her hand, tightly.

poly

“Carrying a piece of the sun,” Minori said, very quietly, her eyes downcast. “Just as Sophia once told me I would.”

wow imagine if you had listened to her

She put the pictures on the table, and put a little incense burner between them. Lit the sweet substance, and let herself focus on the twirling, swirling veils of smoke. I believe in you, Kanmi, she said, silently. I believe in you. You’ll come home to me, someday. But know, that for the moment, I’m … all right. I’m not alone. 

It might have been her imagination, but she thought a breath of wind caressed her face.

❤

“Reginleif!” she said, frowning slightly. 

The harpy’s eyes widened, and she hastily put a few coins down on the table and excused herself from her companions.

She has power beyond her own reckoning, but she will not embrace it, because to do so, would be, in her mind, to betray him.”

I apparently highlighted this on a previous read-through. I assume because it made me angry, as it does now

Hokkigai, or raw fresh clams, maguro, or raw tuna, and a little tako, or cooked octopus,

Literally just tell me what it’s made of. Having the names and then the translation just makes it look like you’re celebrating your ability to use Google

What we have always done. We go solve problems.” 

“Yes, and the last several times we went to solve problems, we made them worse.”

she’s….not wrong

But she could reach out and slide whips made of wind along its body, scything off its scales and armor.

She and Sig are riding Nith against a kraken and I have never wanted fanart of a scene so badly in my life

Sigrun turned in time to see Minori, her face a mask of concentration, let herself fall from Nith’s back, a sword that looked like a piece of the sun in one hand.

Again: art pls

“There’s half of some old statue sticking through the hull down here. That’s the source of the hull breach. The creature must have found it on the bottom and used it as a weapon—”

wuhoh

I wished for the first words I spoke in millennia to be for her ears. And I speak to her. She could hear me if she chose to do so. But she fears to understand me.

nith :(

For that she is mine, and I am hers. We are bound, we two. We are … the same. Night. Death. Ice. Darkness. She has always smelled like home to me. When she understands herself, she will understand me. Though I wonder sometimes, if she ever will.

eat the apple so nith will be happy

Sigrun slipped off the dragon’s side, and landed, lightly, beside Minori, clearly not hearing the exchange. “Understand myself?” A faint, bitter laugh. “I know precisely who and what I am, Minori. I am god-born. I stand as intercessor, the intermediary between the gods and humanity, much as Trennus as a summoner stands between humans and spirits. I serve both gods and humanity.” She held up a hand, as Minori’s lips parted, stilling the words on her lips. “I am, more specifically, a valkyrie and a battle-maiden of Tyr. I was born to fight lost battles, and I carry over a thousand scars. I serve Rome. I defend its laws and its people. I am the wife of a mortal man, mother of none, sister of a mad prophetess, and grandmother to everyone else’s children. How can I understand, more fully, who I am?” Exasperation in Sigrun’s voice, and frustration, and Minori saw her look up at the dragon for a moment.

I am going to scream

(I’d like to point out that even though this is my third or so readthrough, this shit has bothered me from the start. Just the whole time. Forever.)

Aprilis 10, 1991 AC

no

But it’s the only thing I can do. If I don’t go, if I … stay right here, where I am, safe in my room … the future breaks. I don’t know what will happen then. I know what will happen if I do. I’ll go insane. Truly insane. I’ll still have my Name. I’ll still be Trueseer. But I’ll be broken till the day I die, and maybe even after that … but it’ll be all right, because … at least a few people will survive. The world can be renewed. Reborn.  She wiped the tears from her face. Certainty—knowing Sigrun and Judea and those there would survive, and that some tiny spark of her own awareness might pass on, into her sister, as well—was better than the howling abyss of uncertainty.

sophia deserves better

“I’m scared, Sigrun. I don’t want this.”

me either

Her hands froze as she pulled on her sandals. And then, shaking, she took them back off again. Threw them across the room. And pulled on her boots, instead. It wouldn’t matter. It didn’t change the images in her mind. But at least her feet wouldn’t bleed. Fuck the future, Sophia thought, in despair. And fuck Apollo, too.

sophia is more badass than you

Her own daughter was too good for her, apparently, the daughter she’d loved and cherished and made so much of.

no, you’re just a garbage person

For ten years, she’d been able to spoil the girl, and then Sophia, too, had turned out to be god-born. And of course, it was Sigrun’s fault. If she hadn’t come home that night … .

fuck all the way off, medea

It all came down to Sigrun, again. She’d turned Medea’s sweet Sophia against her.

fuck oooooffffff

She had to make her sister see. And behind and over her, she could feel … something bigger than herself. Something that burned as brightly as the sun, and it was paying attention to her, and it recognized her. And it hated her. Sigrun could protect her, though. Sigrun would always protect her. That’s what her sister was for.

This is ten-year-old Sophia, the night she told Sigrun she was godborn, and I am going to cry

Even at ten years of age, Sophia already knew her own Name: Trueseer … and the god to whom she was bound had just awakened to the fact that she existed. That the girl he remembered at the end of the world had awakened to him. And he reached out and shoved his memories into her mind, encysting them there, because he remembered what would happen, and she dared to be better than a god … .

Apollo can fuck off too

The central tragedy of a life lived in reverse was about to play out.

no

Realizing that the god was coming for her. Apollo of Rome was dead. She was his last conduit to the mortal realm, and the doctors were going to euthanize her. He knew it. She knew it. He was coming to take her body as he’d raped her mind daily since she was ten years old … no, no, no, no, I am done with you, Apollo, I am done! 

Sigrun, telling her that there were always choices, that even choosing not to choose is a choice, damn it … . 

Looking down and seeing hiking boots on her feet. 

Looking ahead and seeing Sigrun striding out into the unknown along that black road that was the Styx … . 

Faces above her own, lovers past, for once not decayed, for once, no futures …

Oh, to be unaware of the blood and the sweat and the shit and the pain … . 

Seeing Maccis and Zaya trading bites of apple and kisses … . 

Seeing Sigrun flying towards her on death’s own black wings … . 

Seeing the world end … . 

Seeing a summer garden, and Adam taking down an apple from the tree. Seventy years old, and finally willing to defy everything … . 

Fuck you, Apollo! I die free!

Long quote but also one of the most powerful parts of the series, imo. Sophia is diving into prophecies in an attempt to escape, mentally, being raped by five centaurs. (Stop giving your female characters rape backstories.) But they’re all a little bit different now, because she put on boots instead of sandals. There’s a sixth centaur now, one she never saw in her visions, who tried to stop the others (and got similarly assaulted for his trouble). She broke free of Apollo’s future-memories.

Fuck you, Apollo.

Her phone vibrated in the poke tied to her belt, but she didn’t feel it. She had yet another fight ahead of her, Adam wasn’t due to call her for a few days, and she had the damnable thing silenced for a reason. She was already the servant of her gods and the servant of Rome. She did not need a tiny electronic master now, too.

sig you really wanna take this one

Her own body became the spear, and she landed, boots-first, on the back of the centaur behind Sophia. A hundred and seventy pounds of body-weight accelerated to her top speed, applied to the equine’s lumbar vertebrae resulted in a pulverized spinal column.

I feel like sig should weigh more than that, but then I also feel like she should be taller than adam so what do I know

Another impact of hooves, and Nikolaos reflected, bitterly, that he’d have been better off dying beside some lake or stream, long before this. They were torturing the woman to death, and then they’d progress to him. But he couldn’t participate in this. Not even if it meant his own life. A line had to be drawn.

The sixth centaur. He had a choice between “join this group” or “get eaten by harpies” and I think he’s starting to miss the harpies

Nikolaos could just make out the confusion on his erstwhile companion’s face as the woman’s glowing body dissolved into shadow, moonlight, and wind, and blew through him.

I forgot about this! Sig unconsciously using her god powers while in a murderous rage

Their disbelief that she’d managed to travel from Germania to Hellas to Judea inside of an hour was mitigated somewhat as Niðhoggr leaned down and impatiently snorted ice crystals on them.

dragons mean never having to answer questions

Adam found it even more unnerving than usual to be around her, for she always greeted him with a single word. “Godslayer!” And she never met his eyes. Just looked up, whenever she had to address him, above the level of his head.

you know what I’ll give him that one

The first, was an image of a small girl, long, pale blond hair, just hints of red to it, Trying on clothing too big for her as she stood beside a free-standing mirror. Innocence and joy in the loose lines on this page. Then the next page … a woman in a black dress loomed over the girl in the next image, the mirror shattered, and the girl’s hands bleeding as she picked up the pieces of glass, tears streaking down her face. Medea? Sigrun broke a mirror when she was a child? This … well, it might explain why she doesn’t like mirrors, but I have no idea what it means.

it means child abuse

“Actually,” Zaya whispered, softly, “I have a ring that might help. It works like a soul-trap. Get close to a spirit, push the button, and it should bind the spirit into the gem in the housing.”

what kind of skyrim bullshit

It was one of the woodcuts from their textbook, and showed the ass, Lucian, mid-copulation with the rich woman who had fancied him. That didn’t bother her. The fact that the woman had been labeled as Zaya, and the donkey had been labeled as Maccis, however, did.

children are terrible

 “You don’t have to talk to Spiro,” she told him. Touch made her a little bolder than usual. “I don’t mind if people think … I mean, I wouldn’t mind … I  … damn it.” 

Her cheeks burned, but he’d already moved on, his mind intent on the subject of his anger. “No, he doesn’t get to talk that way to you, or about you or …” Maccis rocked to a halt and looked down at her, his brain apparently catching up with the rest of the conversation. “I … you what?” 

Zaya swallowed, hard. “I said I don’t care what people think we do or don’t do, and I wouldn’t mind if we were, actually … you know.”

still smoother than any confession I ever made

Zaya’s mouth opened and closed again as she rapidly reassessed how sheltered her world was.

honestly relateable

“You don’t have to wait with me—” 

“Have to, no, want to, yes.” He grimaced, and ran his free hand over his hair. “It’s probably going to take me a little while to get over what I saw and smelled last night, Zee. I don’t think I could actually let you wait for the bus alone right now.”

He was there when Lassair was trying to heal Sophia. Another reason the woodcut thing bothered him so badly.

I’ll ensure that he and Saraid and one of Lassair’s … selves … are on the guest list, too, so that you need not fear I am about to cook and eat your young man.”

I enjoy Erida

“You didn’t notice the additional three digits of coding on the card catalogue entry. Godslayer-related. Not for general distribution. You take it at face value, because Prometheus lives in a room of our house.”

that’s a sentence

“Is there … anything I could do?” Zaya asked. “I mean, I don’t know her. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want strangers visiting me if I were in that … condition.” 

Erida had left her desk to give Zaya an unexpected embrace. “I doubt there’s anything that you can do, besides to be kind to Sigrun when you see her. But you have a good heart, little one.”

Zaya’s a good egg.

Today, he met one of the rarest creatures: a centaur who’d never actually lost his mind. “I came close a few times,” the male admitted tiredly. He was covered in fading bruises and healing scabs. “Name’s Nikolaos. Nikolaos Dmitrou.”

this guy

But the centaur’s scent was … definitely not one of the ones he’d caught on Sophia’s body. He wasn’t entirely sure what he’d have done if it had been. Tearing out someone’s throat in the middle of the welcome area, with hundreds of people around them, in chairs and in lines, all filling out forms, didn’t seem a good option, but it had  flashed through his mind for a moment.

“I prevented a murder today!” “How’d you do that?” “Self-control.”

“I’m sorry, but that wasn’t a goddess,” he said, politely. “That was a valkyrie. Sigrun Caetia. Saraid’s not a goddess, either.”

false and false

Hand-fasting, in the Gallic and Gothic fashion, was a one-year agreement to live as husband and wife, which could be extended at the end of the first year,

or if you’re turian, manus rites

For most Gauls and Goths, it wasn’t a real marriage until a child was born.

wait fuck is that what that part of sophia’s prophecy means I never noticed that before now

He’d always assumed that his father’s children with Lassair held more of Trennus’ heart. In a flash, he suddenly realized that while his father loved Lassair, she was a demanding mate. Saraid was a giving mate, and his father had, over the years, perhaps come to cherish her the more for it.

remind me to complain about how this author treats poly relationships

Do not put your own joy entirely aside in your dealings with Fireflower, my son. I beg of you. I have watched those dear to me do precisely this for far too many years.

eat the fucking apple, sigrun

“Fireflower is new. I didn’t see her here before. Never in the asylum. She must be here because I put my boots on. And that’s different, and the difference frightens Apollo almost as much as seeing two godslayers in the same room!”

It’s dark as fuck but I’m going to start blaming every unforseen occurrence on my boots

Also fuck Apollo

they’re going to write in my chart that unlike the centaurs and the harpies, my madness isn’t caused by a god, so I should be able to become healthy again. Isn’t that funny! They won’t think it’s caused by a god!”

fuuuuuuck apollo

Adam lowered himself, slowly, to a crouch in front of Zaya, and she could hear his knees pop as he did so.

I read this and all I can picture is my dad 

My way of killing is too personal and horrifying, and it’s not terribly efficient. Not unless I rip the earth open and start burying a platoon at a time. His father had given him a look as Maccis had swallowed. Which I could probably do these days. Thank the gods, Maccis, that you’re probably never going to fight someone like me.

“What’s the best way to fight someone like me?” “Don’t.”

Fireflower informs me that you are under the impression that I could, and I quote, ‘throw you so far into the Veil that your father couldn’t find you with a radar telescope.’ 

Oh, thanks for mentioning that, Zee. “That has been my general assumption for years, sir.” Maccis grimaced. “Of course, if you were to do so, my father would probably try to bind you, Lady Erida would try to remove my father’s skin, and my mother and Lassair would try to tear her apart. It’s just best if I don’t do anything that might start that unfortunate chain of events.”

I want to say Maccis is a good boy but I don’t know if that’s offensive.

“You … just made me bloom? Wait. I’m not a tree.”

It’s a fertility night. My mother’s a wilderness spirit. I don’t know if it’ll happen every time I concentrate on you like that, but you only smell like you do now once a month.

They’re talking about ovulation, not menstruation, which took me a couple of passes to realize. Also, there are other things y’all can do. Just saying.

It was a particularly ancient-looking and ugly statue. Mesopotamian, certainly, and over fifteen feet tall, the creature depicted had the mouth of a scorpion, a scorpion’s claws in place of hands, and enormous, folded wings. Various professors of archaeology were interviewed, all in varying stages of eloquent excitement. Apparently, finding such a thing at the bottom of the Mediterranean, so close to Cyprus, was highly unusual. The statue had surely weighed over a ton, an enormous weight to be carried by ships of its evident era. Some were apparently calling it a fraud or a hoax, while others seemed to wish to maintain an open mind, until they could get a team down to translate the writings chiseled into its sides, which years of coral growth and silt had largely obscured.

uh oh

But in his darker moments, he had to wonder if he’d brought anything to Sigrun’s existence but the promise of pain to come.

in which adam realizes he only exists to make other people miserable

Adam ben Maor raised his eyes once more. 

And once again, there was no answer. 

He sighed, and stood. You make it terribly hard to believe in you.

upsettingly relateable

“Aha. A thief. A miscreant.” Aunt Sig’s voice was lightly mocking, and Maccis jumped a little.

I love Sig with the kids. They…I don’t want to say “humanize” her, but they give her a chance to be something other than miserable

Maccis thought for a moment, and then tossed an apple at her. “These always make me feel better,” he told her, cheerfully. “You should eat one.”

“eat the fucking apple, aunt sig”

Her shoulders, usually pulled back, sagged. Her head drooped. And Sigrun took a cautious bite.

fucking THANK YOU

The scent swirled around her like smoke, teasing and pressing in on her consciousness. Reminding her of … things past. Flashes of memory. A clear image of her mother, smiling at her father. Riding on a boat with them, floating down the Aeturnus River, the golden light of sunset turning the rippling waters into molten mercury. Sigrun pushed the memory away, and stolidly ate another bite. There were undercurrents to the taste. Cinnamon. Clove. Wine. Honey. Snatches of music, melodies she hadn’t heard in years. Another bite, and a starfield flickered behind her eyes.

soon….soooon

Zaya was never sure if she should thank the apple for it, or years of dance training, but there was also no pain.

that’s a myyyyyth

The world was falling apart around them. In less than a year, he’d be off and fighting in the same war that was consuming the lives of almost everyone else they knew. It didn’t seem such a bad thing, to reach for happiness now, when it could all be taken away, in a heartbeat. And while she had been raised to consider Marduk to be her god, at least nominally … Marduk was dead. There was a sense, Zaya felt, that this was a new age, with new rules, and few debts to the strictures of the past. Why not seize happiness when it lay before her?

danged millennials

A massive head, as big as a five-story building, surged up, and eyes the size of doors, and ember-red, glared down at them. Every scale on the creature’s body was obsidian black, but limned with an ember-glow. Jormangand, Illa’zhi said, softly, and in a tone of actual reverence.

wuhoh

You really must learn how to run, efreet.

but he has no efeets

I’ll show myself out

But not Nith. Nith has attached himself to me, for some reason.

“some reason”

Sigrun hesitated. Freya had, arguably, manipulated her.

she TRIED to teach you how to control the power you’d inadvertently gained before you went off like a fucking magic nuke, but you were so bullheaded about it she had to program failsafes into you since you wouldn’t fucking control yourself 

I HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT FREYA

That … does sound Olympian.

Is he, y'know…[mimes being an enormous infant who shattered an innocent woman’s mind for being prettier and better at prophecy than him] Olympian?

The room was very still, and Sigrun could feel Tren’s big, warm hand suddenly on her shoulder, and she turned slightly towards her old friend, like a plant towards the sun.

The knowledge Freya gave you was to prepare you for a possibility she foresaw. She did not give you seiðr. You know this, in your heart. You only choose to forget what you already knew.

YEAH. YEAH WHAT HE SAID.

Emberstone—the Archmage of your sister’s visions—performed calculations. Some of Tlaloc’s energy did not disperse into the earth, nor was consumed by Lassair, and Saraid absorbed only a trace. Where could it have gone, but into you?

He was a god of grain and plenty. You give of bounty, as well, but in small ways. Unconsciously.

justice cookies

Her throat was tight, and she was doing her best not to let any tears fall. The fact that there was a rumble of thunder in the distance only distressed her more.

finally she fucking notices

Oh, gods, what about Adam … .?

what ABOUT adam?

Leave no ripples. Do what is necessary, but pass through life like water through water. No traces. Just do your job and then disappear.

sigrun go to therapy challenge

Prometheus’s sense flickered. Loki remains the best chance. However, the odds are better if a goddess, who seems to be as much of Loki’s heir as his own son, and is backed by Niðhoggr, made overtures to the world-serpent …  than if a handmaiden of Tyr made the case for alliance. 

It actually took Sigrun a moment to register what Prometheus meant.

welcome to the pantheon

In the drawing room, Prometheus sat down, and picked up his cup of tea. And now you understand why Zeus hated me so, he said, simply.

truth hurts

I have rarely encountered so much self-loathing in one person before, but I think it largely stems from the self-deception. As I said, it conflicts with her basic self. With the deception removed, she can uncontort herself. In time.

the truth is vicious and you owe it something

My sister grieves. Saraid’s voice was tight. The heavens grieve with her. There was, indeed, rain drumming on the roof. She feels as if her life is at an end. I have tried for so long to show her … She put her head against Trennus’ shoulder. I have tried to show her that being what we are, is not … a bad thing. To be at peace. She is my sister, and I love her. She loves me. She accepts Lassair. She accepts us both without question or hesitation. And yet she cannot accept being … what we are. Honest grief in Saraid’s voice, as if Sigrun’s rejection of herself, was also somehow a rejection of the quiet forest-spirit, but also grief for Sigrun, as well.

:(

Sigrun rubbed at her face. Night. Death. Ice. Storms. All things associated with evil. But I can’t escape my nature.

dark is not evil, SIGRUN

She’d gotten better at tolerating the touch of others, over the years. Lassair she put up with, Saraid she could accept, and Trennus had held her in the Veil while they regained their strength to return to the mortal world after Loki’s exile. It had formed a bond of which Sigrun had never spoken, never acknowledged, but was nevertheless there.

sigrun join the matrugena poly challenge

Saraid’s voice was quietly horrified. Stormborn, my sister, the power is … what you make of it.

yeah, what she said

How much better and easier would my life have been, if I’d had the great good sense to fall in love with you, Trennus?

who says you didn’t?

“That was then. Since we moved to Judea, he hasn’t so much as gone to the solstice bonfires. Oh, he approves of them, for Goths, but he won’t go, and I’ve never asked. I’ve never permitted there to be conflict.”

that’s 👏 not 👏 a 👏 healthy 👏 relationship 👏

Sigrun turned slightly at the anguish in Saraid’s voice, and just wept for a moment, aware as Trennus stood, and once more stroked her hair, lightly. Sigrun wanted, desperately, to accept their comfort. And for a moment, she let herself be weak enough to do so.

accepting 👏 comfort 👏 isn’t 👏 weak

But in the end, using them was, apparently, required of her. And her gods would have her obedience in this, as in all things.

Sigrun how do you finally do what is healthiest for you in the least healthy way possible

You … heard me. Shock and joy in the dragon’s voice. You hear me! You hear me at last!

niiiith

I had best get that under control before I see Adam again.

that’s fine, that’s healthy and normal, it’s fine she’s fine

[nochiquinn]

bc no one else will: Edda-Earth

(for reference: the liveblogs at the top of my masterpost)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

sophia! sophiaaaa. book four where sophia is happy WHEN

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

trennus. which probably sounds weird when you consider he's six-foot-whatever and built like a brick shithouse, but especially early trennus is just. he just needs a nap. he deserves a nap.

bonus answer: nith. I just think he's neat.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

proooobably zaya, but only since my re-reads, when I'm taking notes and actually really paying attention to her. book four where zaya busts out and saves everyone from themselves when.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

...frittigil? is fritti obscure? all the named characters get some degree of development so it's hard to call any of them a "background" character. but frittigil and I guess by extension loki, just for reasons of examining the nature of godhood and the collective unconscious.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

lassair. lassair has done literally everything wrong but also I would die for her.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

mikayel. no one deserves mikayel.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

adam ben maor, surprising literally no one

[nochiquinn]

campaign 2 episode 88: just creep me all the fuck the way out, it’s fine, I don’t need to sleep

I don't know what any of that ad was

"can all three of us fight matt"

"maybe it's a misunderstanding" sure jan

I know logically that taliesin's necklace is a pyramid but I just keep seeing bill cipher

is anyone here under 400 years old

"I've had to learn new words for what happens to me now" hug caduceus

matt's dwarf voices give me life

"I speak punkass kid"

"immediately hands her drugs"

the flASK

honestly the quiet rolling of hit dice is very calming

"that's just my face"

GOTH MOM

I love laura's priorities

"you had camp! we spied on you!"

yashaaaaaaa

is there sexytimes in it

of course mads won

(also ashly was nominated too you guys)

CHAIR

"I think we need to work with him" and jester looks like she's going to puke

jester: it's hog killing time

jester's quadruple texting

"we're just ask asking for stuff now"

beau: "OH SHIT my doordash"

beau is about to adopt these kids

honestly the eye makeup

"that's when I knew"

caduceus metaphorsss

"I get it!" "you DO?"

"maybe pbj? surprise me?" me discussing catering at my wedding

jester sad. beau awkward.

"sleep with me and yasha!"

see that's the ship content I'm here for. threaten to kill his abuser as a fun first date.

cad is like. fjord's AA sponsor

cad made fjord a pretty!

hey I was halfway joking with the AA joke but now I think it works

yasha (╥﹏╥)

there's always pocket bacon

WHOMST victory

oh it's fox news

my WHOLE ASS INTERNET just went out

I'm casting twitch from my phone to the TV, have my laptop open for liveblogging, and am on Discord on my phone. the future is stupid.

caleb. caleb whatcha doin.

wait am I back online. am I on the internet.

I have so many edda-earth feelings right now that three whole people will understand

jesTER

"control" is a strong word

they are slowly realizing who they've put in charge of these extremely important arrangements

forgive me this comparison but you know how joanne in rent was the only one with a real job but she was still tied up with the disaster crew and wound up going to bat for them a couple of times? that's beau but she is also a disaster.

"I was thinking about a family matter" can confirm, will be in the middle of a conversation and just "oh shit [kiddo things]"

the WHAT

liam's little "oKAY"

oh that animation was amazing

aw, nobody got laura some sweatpants

caleb is having a whole ass ptsd flashback

what's fucking with me is how it's being described like a RL in-patient treatment center but with all the fucked-up undertones from context

ffffFFFF

[mrs bennett voice] HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION FOR MY POOR NERVES

ickythong

I enjoy that every time trent speaks or is mentioned laura/jester looks like she's about to hurl

matt just stay standing, there are gonna be so many insight checks

I Don't Like matt's Trent face

liam's going to break his own hands

caleb I support your sass but also please be careful

now I'm nervous bc we don't know where astrid is

"you look good" dlkfjsl

I don't want to HATE eodwulf (?) bc he's in the same boat caleb was

Everybody Loves Jester

"he apologized after" that's what they DO

borgins and burkes

that's a hagraven

matt just really trying to make sure I don't sleep tonight

you know what matt's face is giving me gene wilder vibes, which isn't great bc I am/was terrified of gene wilder

BONE HARP

BANSHEE HARP

travis picking on laura but staying in fjord's voice

yes because what y'all need right now is more sidequests

"she reminds me of home" "she whAT"

matt so excited for a fight club

WELP

excuse me caleb

briarwood lore droooooop

also kind of cool that ripley and delilah started everything together? but also fuck those guys.

(I don’t mean it, delilah is one of my favorite villains in anything ever)

[nochiquinn]

fucked around and cleaned up/updated my side pages:

a (probably incomplete) list of my tags!

masterpost of my edda-earth liveblogs and moodboards!

master list of my twitter liveblog threads!

“about” page with links of where else to find me and how to support the blog!