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lightning-and-dragons · 30 days ago

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Here For You

Here's a new Ninjago fic for all who might be interested!

Ed and Edna have always tried to help Jay though the struggles of life. They've always fought to raise him up well, to give him the strength to endure the world that could sometimes be cruel, to make sure he knew that he was loved. From before Jay was a ninja, to the moment they find him post-Merge, they promise to do everything they can to help Jay heal from the pain and suffering he endures.

A somewhat introspective fic about Ed and Edna helping Jay over the years, to finally seeing him again post-Merge.

Rated Teen and Up! Read on Tumblr below (about 3.2k words).

And here's a quick warning: there is a brief mention of fertility issues, I just wanted to mention it just in case!

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From the moment they found him on their doorstep, Ed and Edna wondered if they could do it. Could they raise this precious, sweet child, to be the man he was meant to be? Could they teach him how to be kind in a world that was so often cruel? To stand up against hard days, to stay brave when everything in him wanted to be afraid? Could they raise Jay in such a way that he could be proud of who he was?

Or, would they ruin this child’s life just as it was starting? Would they make fatal errors as he grew up, forget to tell him that they loved him, make him think that he wasn’t worth it? Would they make him regret being a Walker?

It was their greatest fear.

Ed and Edna loved him. They loved him more than he could know. But they didn’t know if they knew how to show it, how to show the lengths they would go to make sure he was alright, the late nights they would endure waiting for his call, telling them that he was okay. They didn’t know if their love would be enough to keep him strong all through his days, or if the world around them would swallow him whole.

Ed didn’t know what it was like to have a father, he grew up without one. He wanted to be a good father for Jay, one who was reliable, who was always there, and he often questioned if he could. How could a man who didn’t have a father be a good one himself?

Edna sometimes wondered if she was meant to have kids at all. Ed and Edna had never been able to have children, yet they were too poor to figure out why. Was it a sign that she wasn’t meant to be a mother? That she couldn’t take care of a child, couldn’t help them grow up? Looking down at the little boy, the baby, on her doorstep, she couldn’t help but wonder if this was fate, or a mistake.

But they made it work because they loved him, despite the doubts they had about themselves. They taught Jay everything they knew, from calibrating a thigni-ma-jigibob, to lending a hand to the less fortunate, they could see him grow into a man that they were proud of. One who found wonder in everything, who couldn’t help but crack jokes at all hours of the day. Who liked tinkering and inventing, putting his whole heart and soul into all of his projects. Who, above all, cared for the people around them, and would do everything in his power to bring them comfort.

Jay Walker was a boy that they were proud to call their son, and they made sure that he knew it.

Even when he was bullied in school because he lived in a junkyard, they reminded him, every day, that it didn’t matter, that he was incredible no matter where he came from, and that if someone didn’t see that they weren't someone to be friends with. The words always put that bright smile back on his face.

It hurt to watch him leave, to go be a ninja and save the world, but they both knew that that’s where he belonged. And they knew that this would be the greatest test of all.

Jay would face darkness. He would face the cruelest people in all of Ninjago, even beyond it, and Ed and Edna both asked themselves if they did enough. Did they teach him how to be strong when everything was against him? Or would the villains of the world beat him down?

As it turned out, nothing could prepare Jay for what was to come. Nothing could prepare Ed and Edna for what was to come, too.

They held him as he mourned his friend, Zane, listened to all of the memories Jay had with the nindroid, memories that could never be remade. They were sure to go to the funeral, to be there to remember the man who had saved Ninjago, but to also be there for their little boy, who wouldn’t stop crying.

They patched up his wounds from when he returned from Chen’s Island. Edna nearly started crying herself as Jay told them the guilt he felt for fighting Cole, and letting Cole lose the fight that Jay was so sure he himself had no chance of winning.

Then there was a conversation about pirates that neither Edna or Ed remembered completely. They could only remember bits and pieces, as if they had made it up, yet they were so sure that it had happened. They both could see their son in their mind’s eye, a blanket wrapped around his shaking shoulders, and looking so, so tired.

Neither of them knew what had happened. But Jay was different after that day, slightly quieter, slightly more nervous, always favoring his right leg over his left. Nya also started to hang out more after that. Ed and Edna could tell that her presence comforted him a lot, more than he would ever admit, and was thankful for it.

There were too many more times after that when Jay would come to the junkyard, searching for comfort, telling stories that seemed impossible, and Ed and Edna could see the toll life was taking on their son. He would still smile, but sometimes it wouldn’t be as bright, and wherever he found something new he would shy away from it, instead of eagerly looking to learn all about it. That trait had come up after the catastrophe called Prime Empire, and Ed didn’t understand why a videogame had taken away Jay’s love of new things.

Jay would sometimes grow quiet, get a distant look in his eye, and it would take a long hug from Edna for him to get back to reality. She never asked what he saw in those moments, she knew it would only make him hide his pain even more, but she would always sit beside him, rubbing smooth circles onto his back. He would melt into her, then, allowing her to comfort him. And she did.

Somedays, they could see him pulling away from them, becoming so absorbed in the trauma his life had given him that he was barely recognizable. And it hurt. It hurt more than they could’ve ever expected.

But they made sure to always be there for him. Edna made sure his bed was always made, and that there would be enough food for him if he came by for supper. Ed always left a few of Jay’s old projects within walking distance, close to the ground, so if Jay ever wanted to work on his old inventions he could. It had been a while since Jay had a passion for inventing. Ed knew that he had to talk to Jay about it, eventually, but the option would always, always, be there for him.

When Nya died, or became the ocean, as Jay had explained, Ed and Edna mourned, too. Not just for Nya, but for Jay, too

The day it happened, Jay had run into Edna’s arms, sobbing. The only words he could say was “It should’ve been me” over and over again, and Edna’s heart broke. Jay didn’t stay for long, choosing to go to a lighthouse across the country, and he wouldn’t change his mind, no matter how much Ed and Edna tried to convince him otherwise. Edna didn’t understand why he chose the lighthouse, but the fact that he was going into isolation instead of searching for comfort with his friends broke her heart.

Watching him leave was like watching their only son succumb to his wounds, with Ed and Edna being unable to do anything to stop the bleeding. But they promised to remind Jay that he mattered to them, every single time they saw him, every single moment when he was beside them. They knew that one of the only ways they could help him heal was to be there. So they would be when they could.

They would let him talk to them, or let him sit in silence. They would let him embrace them, or keep his distance. But Ed and Edna wouldn’t give up on him. They couldn’t prepare him for the pain he would endure, but they would do their best to ease it, to help him through the troubled times he faced. They loved him. This was the least they could do for his son.

Nya eventually returned, and so did Jay. But something inside of him was still hurting, and Edna promised to find it and help him heal.

Then the Merge happened. Then, their whole world was flipped on its head, and Ed and Edna were left stranded in a new realm, without a home, without knowing if their son was alive, if he was ever to be found again.

They wandered the Merged Realm until they reunited with Ray and Maya, who had ended up close to them in the Merged realms. Together, they gathered up as many lost people as they could, and created a home right by a large river. They built homes, and started fresh, yet refused to leave behind what was lost. They would go out into the unexplored lands in pairs, wander as far as they could from their new home, searching for any sign of their children. They hadn’t found anything, not yet, but all of them were determined.

“He’ll be alright, Edna.” Maya would say, giving her a compassionate smile. “Jay’s strong.”

Jay was strong, but how strong could someone be before the terrors of this world finally won? How long could he endure, if he was lost, alone, and scared? When he didn’t have his family, his parents, to lean on?

Ed and Edna were scared for their little boy. They thought about him every moment of every day, hoping that he was alive somewhere out there (never wishing, because somehow they both hated that word now). Edna often watched the outskirts of the village they could now call their home, looking for any sign of Jay on the horizon.

It took a few years, but finally, she saw him.

He was wearing a dark blue suit, one that looked nothing like the ninja gis that he loved. It even had something like wolf fur along the collar, looking so, so unlike Jay Edna could almost cry. A sword was slung across his back, and he carried himself uncertainly, scanning the village, as if he was looking for danger. His eyes were full of anguish, fear, and confusion. He looked like he was about to cry.

He didn’t act like the Jay she knew at all.

“That…that doesn’t seem like Jay, dear.” Ed said, his eyes wide, and Edna had to agree. He didn’t seem like Jay, but deep down she knew that it was.

Yet something had happened. Something so terrible, so painful, that all traces of her little boy were gone. He was lost. He wasn’t the same.

But he was still her son.

Edna didn’t hesitate to run to him, calling his name. Jay’s eyes snapped to her, and with one fluid motion, he pulled out his sword, pointing it at her as she ran to him. She slowed down, feeling the presence of Ed by her side, scared, yet determined to take care of the boy in front of her.

“Jay, dear? It’s okay, we’re not going to hurt you.” She said, calmly, despite how much her heart raced. What had happened to him? What had happened to her son?

“Who are you?” He snarled, his hand tight around his sword. “How do you know my name?”

Edna couldn’t help but pause at that, a sharp inhale becoming the only sound she could hear. She saw Ed walk forward, Jay moving his sword to face his father.

“We’re your parents, son. I’m your dad. She’s your mom.”

Jay’s eyes widened, and the sword shook in his grasp.

“No. No, I… I would’ve remembered.” He stuttered out, his chin wobbling. “I would’ve remembered my parents.”

Edna still didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t understand what Jay’s words meant. All she knew was that Jay was hurting, and that she wanted to give him a hug.

“Ah, that’s okay.” Ed said, appearing casual, yet Edna could see how scared and nervous he was, too. She wondered if Jay could see it. “Whatever happened, we can fix it. Gee, I fix things all the time!”

Jay let out a harsh laugh. “You can’t fix me. I’m broken. No one cares about me, and all I do is mess things up. Someone like me can’t be fixed with a little fatherly love.”

The words hurt, and Edna could see that they hurt Ed, too, yet he didn’t let it stop him. “Have you tried that yet, Jay? When was the last time someone took care of you? Gave you a warm meal, a place to stay for the night?”

There was a beat of silence, but then, Jay spoke softly.

“I….I can’t remember. There was Ras, but…he never really cared. I was just a soldier for him.”

Edna felt tears burn in the back of her eyes, because it was obvious now that Jay didn’t remember them, and it was evident that he didn’t have the other Ninja to help him through whatever has been going on. She didn’t know who Ras was, but she had a feeling that it was someone who had hurt Jay even more. It broke her heart, that her little boy had been hurt so badly, had been apart from his family for who knows how long. But, he was here now. They could help him now.

“Let’s take you inside, dear, I have some nice soup that I’m sure you’ll love.” She offered gently.

She knew that he would love it, it was his favorite growing up. It was what she always made when he was having a rough day, even as a Ninja.

“I don’t want to be a part of whatever you have going on.” Jay suddenly said, sternly. “I don’t want to join whatever group you have here. I’m just passing through.”

Edna looked behind her and saw that a group of the villagers had formed behind them, Ray and Maya at the forefront, looking hopeful yet confused.

“You don’t have to join us, son. Let us help you, just for tonight. Then you can be on your way if you want.” Ed said calmly. “Let us at least get some food into you.”

Edna wanted to scream at Ed, to tell him that he couldn’t offer such a thing, that Jay had to stay with them forever, but she knew that he was right. Scaring Jay off wouldn’t do them any good, especially now that they had just gotten him back.

“But,” Edna added. “You’re always welcome to stay longer.”

Jay met her eyes. She could feel the sadness and fear that was reflected in them, and was reminded of all the other times he had come to her with that same look. Yet this time it felt heavier, and she had a feeling he needed more healing than one bowl of soup could offer. In his eyes was a touch of red, hidden within the blue, and somehow that broke her heart even more.

But he was here. He was within her sight. And she wasn’t willing to let him go off alone like this, wasn’t willing to let him feel all of that pain without trying to help in the only ways she could.

“Just a warm meal and lodging for the night.” Jay finally said, softly, as if he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “That’s all.”

“Good. Now, come along now, we don’t want the soup to get cold!” Ed said, gesturing for Jay to come with an exaggerated hand, and Jay slowly followed, sheathing his sword. He passed by Edna, now avoiding her gaze, and Edna followed them. Ray and Maya quickly made their way to Jay, questions of the whereabouts of Kai and Nya no doubt on their lips, but Edna shook her head no. They couldn’t ask that tonight, not when Jay was ready to bolt at a moment's notice.

And, deep down, Edna knew that whatever news of the Ninja Jay would have, it likely wouldn’t be any news at all, or anything good. She wasn’t sure which was better.

Ray and Maya backed off, and Edna allowed herself to pass them, heading into the wooden log house that her and Ed now called home. The couch they found a few months back that Ed slept on would have to be Jay’s bed, Edna knew, as she wouldn’t let him use the dirty sleeping bag she had been using, or be banished to the floor. Ed could sleep in the sleeping bag tonight, Edna would work something else out for herself.

Jay was already sitting at the table when she got there, sitting stiffly in the crooked wooden chair, his hands sitting flat against his thighs. She knew that it was because of stress, he did it all the time before the Merge. Ed was serving him some soup, and Jay took it gratefully, a soft “thank you” escaping his lips. Ed gave him a smile, and Edna sat beside Jay, closer to him than she had been in years, yet far enough away to avoid scaring him.

Jay took the spoon that was offered, and slowly lifted some soup to his lips. Edna began to eat what was offered to her too, fighting so hard to not stare at her son who had been missing for so long.

“You’re safe here, son.” Ed said, no doubt noticing Jay’s fearful gaze. “We won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Jay frowned, tears brimming in his eyes once again. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”

The admission was soft, sad, and Edna felt something in her chest tighten at the words.

The tears Jay had no doubt been fighting to hold back finally escaped, and Jay covered his face with his hands, sobbing, pushing away from the table. His whole body shook, a body that was much thinner than it used to be, so much more fragile, and Edna couldn’t stop herself from getting to her feet.

This time, he didn’t flinch at the movement.

“Do you want a hug, dear?”

Edna wasn’t too hopeful. But she had to try.

The nod that was returned to her was hesitant, weak, and small, but it was a nod. She knelt down to his level, ignoring the ache in her knees, and wrapped her arms around her shaking son, tucking his head into her shoulder. Jay’s arms wrapped around her, and he sobbed into her chest. Ed soon joined them on Jay’s other side, his strong grip so familiar to Edna. She hoped that it was familiar to Jay.

They were together as a family once again. Edna knew that it may not last, that things may never be the same, but her son was here, in her arms. She was going to help him as much as she could.

She couldn’t protect him from the dangers of this life, but she could be there for him when that life got too hard, too painful for him to handle himself. She was his mother; she couldn’t do anything less.

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