#eavnc

[high-quality-tiktoks]

😁💥

[dark-nimbus]

It has come to my attention that mine and other blogs have been perceived by many members of D&Dorks.

Which, first off, hi Scarlett!

Secondly, moving past the fact I am completely mortified for myself, I hope that it’s okay to have this content on my page. I try to go through everything I post and pick through it with a fine-toothed comb, as I know this is a public platform and I want to be as respectful of you all as possible.

If you ever see anything of mine that makes you uncomfortable or that you just don’t approve of, I apologize profusely and will gladly take down the post. Love y’all, thanks for giving the fanbase such an amazing show 💙

—Taz Starstride (aka Nimbus)

[ereami0]

Y'ALL HELP 😭‼️

I found this cosplayer on tiktok and he looks like Reiner in a very real way.

His user : @/eavnc

This is the prettiest reiner cosplay I've ever seen 🛐❤️‍🔥

He don't even need to cosplay , he already look exactly like him 😭‼️.

[mimiri22-6]

*cough* sorry *cough* notbymuchthobecauseimdesprate

You like dnd?!

You like being gay?!

Maybe a gay, fucked up, body horror, criptid?!

You want chaotic characters?!

I HAVE A NEW DND WATCHING EXPERIANCE FOR YOU!!!! Currently about to finish the first season on Saturday 7/03, Live on Twitch!

D&Dorks on youtube and sir_superhero on twitch, The Symmetry War!

It's not just straight white dudes playing!

We've got a Vampire Frog, a Cat furry, a Changeling that started a licking trend, secrets around every corner that are being reaveiled by a great and passionate DM(who is pan/ace, nICE)

(also if you know Pandaredd, you know, the guy that does the funny dc batfam skits on tiktok, HE'S HERE TOO)

I fell in love with this campaign near instantly, mainly because a lot of the cast are first time players that have No morals, don't ask me how many they've killed, because idk. I love them anyway.

I wanna say more about it, but saying literally anything will give too much away. It's so good, trust me

3 hour episodes and only 9.5 episodes, this story is compact and wild at every turn! Can't recommend it enough!

(seriously tho, please watch this i need to interract to people into this, there is no fandom and I'm loosing my mind about it, and if there is, it's so small idk where to find it, help)

It's so fun trust me

[blitzendoggo]

You've Got to Be Kidding Me

Glib, Canyon, S.G., Goodbid, Prophis, and Callisto are trapped in an elevator together. 

Callisto/Prophis (not main focus of story) Human!AU and Office!AU (2472 words)

~~~

It had been a relatively uneventful morning for most of the people in the office. They got their coffee, rode the elevator up with a bunch of strangers, got off on their floor, and went to their desk.

However, this was not the case for six unlucky workers at Symmetris Inc.

Glib is a painfully average man -shaggy brown hair, brown eyes, slightly tanned skin, plainly dressed, and stands at a solid 5'7"- who works a normal 9-to-5 on the second to top floor of Symmetris Inc. which has employed the most people in the city. He works IT because he figured out that he has a magic touch when it comes to computers. He doesn't particularly like this job, but it pays the bills with enough money that he isn't living paycheck to paycheck. He was the first in the elevator, quickly followed by his only "work friends" and even that is a stretch.

Canyon, at first glance, is nothing too special. He is pale, freckled, with green-eyes, and unruly ginger hair. Upon further investigation, however, people will come to the quick realization that he is covered in a number of strange scars and nearly seven-foot tall which explains his infamous air-headedness. He is smart, but not overly so, and only when it serves him. He is blunt and to the point, and some how works customer service very well. He takes the shit that is given to him, blinks at them, and gives it right back. It is really a miracle that Canyon hasn't lost his job, and he is well aware of this fact.

Behind Canyon is S.G., a strikingly gorgeous black genderless-being with vitiligo covering large patches of their skin. She used to work customer-service with Canyon but was swiftly moved after she gaslit and lied to many customers. Now he works in sales, specifically trying to convince people to buy into stocks. They love their job, even more so once a handsome young man started working there, Mercury. He works in the shipping department and can only be described as a himbo. S.G. was actually on his way to see Mercury when she got in the elevator with Glib and Canyon.

Before the doors can close, a pale hand sticks through before the doors reopen to reveal Mr. Goodbid. No one is quite sure what his first name is -there are many rumors floating around that it's Johnny, or Naethan, but his favorite is that his first name is literally Mister- so everyone just refers to him as Mr. Goodbid. He is a well-paid lawyer that can write and read a contract better than most people can spell their names. Glib rolls his eyes when Goodbid steps in while S.G. slightly glares. They got into a bad argument the first day Goodbid met them, and they haven't quiet forgiven him yet, and it doesn't help that Goodbid is friends with Mercury which forces S.G. to be kind to him. Canyon, however, just waves happily. He and Goodbid are friends for no reason other than Canyon thought he was chill and Goodbid offered to pay for his coffee when he left his wallet at his desk.

The four of them stand in the elevator and the doors are nearly closed when a frantic voice calls out, "Hold the elevator!" Goodbid reflexively sticks his arm through the door to open it for the stranger. Everyone is startled when two very familiar faces burst through the door.

Prophis and his husband, who is also his co-founder of this company, Callisto, had rushed onto the elevator, panting and slightly out of breath. They had gotten out of bed late -their shared alarm didn't go off- and were running extremely behind. It was seemingly their saving grace that the elevator hadn't closed on them as they had an important meeting to get to.

"Sorry about that," Prophis apologizes once he can breathe properly. "This morning has been awful, and Aldor would be upset-"

"Not just upset, he would be utterly pissy for the rest of the day," Callisto butts in with a sour look on his face.

"Yes, well, in any case it would not be good for us to be even a little late to this meeting," Prophis finishes, casting a glare at Callisto for interrupting him.

"Oh, of course, boss man," Goodbid says with his signature grin. "Can't be upsetting Mr. Order!"

Prophis flashes him a kind smile. "I take it that you are Mr. Goodbid?"

"That is it, indeed, Mr. Chaos!" Goodbid says with a beaming smile.

"Yes well, you are the gossip of the building it seems," Prophis says as Callisto pushes the top floor button.

"Ah shucks! I don't really know why my first name is such a mystery, people could just look it up on my file!" Goodbid says, fidgeting with his briefcase.

"Oh, that's because I removed it from your file," Callisto says without missing a beat while he straightens his tie and fixes his hair.

Everyone's eyes snap to him.

"You what?!" Prophis almost yells but catches himself at the last second.

"What? I get bored too," Callisto says with a sly smile.

Everyone is silent in disbelief before S.G. quietly grumbles, "why didn't I think of that?"

Prophis chuckles at her, easing the tension, and the silence becomes a comfortable one. Glib takes a slow drink of his coffee before Canyon plucks it from his hand, takes a sip, and drops it back into his hand. Glib opens his mouth to yell at Canyon, but before he can, there is an awful metal hiss.

Everyone looks up in alarm, as the lights flicker before cutting off entirely and the elevator clanks to a stop. There's a moment of extreme tension before the emergency lights come to life, casting everyone in an eerie light.

"You've got to be kidding me," Callisto hisses, more aggravated that he is going to be late than the fact that he is currently trapped in a crowded elevator, as he hits the emergency button and leans against the door.

The emergency lights flash slightly, causing Glib's and Goodbid's eyes to go wide. "We are having the most awful luck today!" Prophis says, completely unbothered as he also leans against the door.

"You're saying that like you forgot your keys!" Glib says, grabbing onto the railing and bracing himself against it. "Not like someone who is trapped in an elevator!"

"Relax, uh, I'm sorry I don't believe I caught your name," Prophis says, in his same unbothered tone.

"Is that really important right now?!" Glib snaps back.

"Well, I would like to know my employee's names," Prophis says calmly.

"Glib! The name's Glib!" He says through gritted teeth, his knuckles turning bone-white from his tight grip.

"Ah, thank you. Relax, Glib, help will be here soon," Prophis says that makes Glib question if he's even human. "Oh, and what are the two of your names?" Prophis asks, addressing S.G. who looks alarmed, but not scared, and Canyon who looks almost completely unbothered except for his grip on the railing behind him.

"Canyon," The ginger-haired man replies instantly, sticking out a hand for Prophis to shake.

"My name is very long, so most people just call me S.G." Prophis gives him an understanding nod and shakes their hand as well.

"I hate to say it, but I think I agree with Glib here!" Goodbid says, looking pale as he presses himself against the back wall. "Y'all seem way too calm about this!"

"No, we just aren't being overdramatic little babies," Canyon tells him bluntly before turning back to Prophis and Callisto. "How long do you think we'll be in here?"

"Ten minutes," Callisto says. He pulls out his phone before tsking. "Do any of you happen to have service?"

Everyone pulls out their phones and they all have no signal, except for Canyon, whose phone is dead.

"I forgot to charge it," he says as he sticks it back into his pocket.

They all fall silent as they look between each other. Canyon, Prophis, and Callisto look far too calm about this situation; S.G. is just irritated that she'll miss their morning talk with Mercury; and Goodbid and Glib are the only two who are a reasonable amount of worried.

Glib takes slow deep breaths, forcing his heart to slow down before it causes him to go into cardiac arrest. Goodbid seems to also regain his composure and sets down his briefcase. With two clicks he swings it open and pulls out a deck of playing cards.

"Anyone up for a game?" Goodbid asks, holding the cards up as he sits down cross-legged.

*

They get through three games of crazy eights and two rounds of go-fish before S.G. points out that help should have come by now.

"Its been at least twenty minutes," she says, still irritated that he will have to miss their morning conversation with Mercury. Prophis checks his watch, winces, but says nothing.

"Perhaps I need to hit the button again?" Callisto muses out loud as he hits the button. He hits it again but notices a lack of noise. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"What?" Glib asks, already fearing the worst.

"I don't think it's going through, there's supposed to be a noise tied into that." He points at the button before sighing and sitting back down on the floor.

"So you mean to tell me that the emergency button isn't working?" Glib says, barely containing his rage.

"It would seem that way," Callisto replies. Canyon expects Glib to scream, but instead he just looks forward before letting his head thunk against the wall.

Glib doesn't speak again for several minutes, the others start a card game in the meantime.

"How long have we been in here?" Glib asks after a while. His voice is distant and tired, but at least he's still responsive.

Prophis flicks his watch up again, reads the time, and goes back to the card game. "Just over an hour."

"An hour?!" or some variant of it is said by everyone in the elevator, ranging from stunned whispering (S.G.) to full yelling (Glib).

"Yes, an hour. We got in here around 8:20, it is nearly 9:30 now," Prophis explains calmly as he returns to the card game.

"And no one's come for us yet?!" Glib yelps. He looks at the other occupants, surveying their emotions. Goodbid looks like he's going to pass out, S.G. looks shocked, Canyon looks confused, Callisto looks unperturbed, and Prophis looks bored. Glib gets to his feet and starts hitting every button on the panel.

"What on earth are you doing?" Callisto asks, eyes not leaving his cards as he places another one down.

"Hitting all the buttons to see if any of them work!" Glib hits the buttons for five minutes before sitting back down in a huff.

"It was a good try, Glib," S.G. offers.

"Nah, I really don't think that was worth the effort. We know the elevator's broken, what good would hitting the broken buttons do?" Canyon says with his signature lazy grin as he plays a card.

"Well at least he tried to do something'!" Goodbid snaps at Canyon.

"Relax, Mustache, shouting will not help us here," Canyon quips back instantly.

"It might not get this elevator movin', but it sure as hell is makin' me feel better!" Goodbid howls, seeming to boil over. He gets to his feet and starts gesturing wildly. "So Imma keep shoutin' until this goddamned elevator gets movin' or my voice gives out!" He stomps his foot, causing the whole elevator to shake, and in a miracle the lights flicker back on, and it hums back to life. Goodbid stares in disbelief for a moment before muttering," well, I'll be damned."

"Huh, note to self, if stuck in a broken-down elevator, start screaming," Glib says as he stares up at Goodbid.

With a mechanical shutter the elevator heaves up and everyone braces against the walls. Glib starts muttering prayers to the Kraken as it comes to a stop and the door open to reveal an irate Aldor yelling at the head of security.

"Sir, I have no clue where they are!" Zalkas says as if he's repeating himself for the thousandth time. At the sound of the elevator opening, he spins on his heels, hand resting reflexively on his gun. He stares, drop-jawed at them

"Uh, hello," Prophis says as he takes a step out, followed by Callisto who is desperately trying to fix his dress shirt.

"Where have you been?!" Aldor roars, shoving past Zalkas, who lets him. If Zalkas didn't want to move, he wouldn't have. He is 6'7" -the only person who is taller than him is Canyon- and works out religiously. He is a walking tank, but he also practically worships Aldor.

"Trapped in the elevator," Callisto says, striding up to his co-founder. "We really need to get them checked out."

"For over an hour?!" Aldor says, trying to catch Callisto in his lie.

"Yes, for over an hour! We lost power," Callisto hisses, his voice dropping dangerously low.

Glib clears his throat before Aldor can say anything else. "He's right, we were trapped with them." He takes a tentative step forward, almost worried that Aldor will start yelling at him.

Instead, Aldor clicks his tongue. He straightens his suit jacket while glaring at Callisto and Prophis. His eyes snap to the four still standing in the elevator. "Well? Don't you have work to be doing?!" He snaps, dismissing them.

"No, take the day off," Prophis says, stepping between Aldor and the group. "You've earned it." He and Aldor are locked into an intense staring contest when the others awkwardly shuffle out of the elevator and towards the hall.

"What do you think you are doing?!" Aldor growls. If looks could kill, they'd be dust.

"Using the stairs," Canyon, the bravest -or possibly the stupidest- among them says.

Callisto breathes out a laugh before shaking his head. "I don't believe any of us will ever use the elevator again."

"Well to bad, use the elevator!" Aldor says, leaving no room for discussion. All of them scramble back into the elevator. Aldor's eyes go to Zalkas who has been silently observing the interaction. "You are dismissed, return to your station."

"Yes, sir," Zalkas says immediately. He turns on his heels and gets in the elevator. The doors slide to a shut behind him and the elevator begins moving before the lights flicker and the elevator comes to a halt.

The lights go out completely and from the darkness there are a series of groans.

"Welp," Glib says tiredly. "Start screaming."

"What?!" Zalkas shrieks, and the lights flicker on just slightly.

[kozukeneo]

@/eavnc cosplay of Reiner Braun 🌙

[devoti]

babe his user is @/eavnc he's so fucking hot i melt in my panties whenever i see him (╥﹏╥) and i've also seen that gale guy who cosplays jean and let me just say this. it's really fucking hot (⊙﹏⊙) i haven't seen the levi one so . . . if gou don't mind my pretty eight . . . do pls spill the tea on them . . .

HERE'S MY FAVOURITE LEVI COSPLAYER GYU his user is @Arone and he's fucking fantastic mate it's siiiicck 😭😭😭😭😭🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

PLUS i'm going to check out this @eavnc dude in a bit pls pray for me 🥺🥺 N' TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF HIM GJDNFIDKD HEHE <34

[peachy-momos]

What tiktok Reiner? Name please?? 😏

His tik tok is @/eavnc and he’s posted like 3?? Reiner cosplays? They’re really good, he looks a lot like him.

[dark-nimbus]

Probably my best of the comic dorks collection thus far, I present Nightwing!Zalkas

[high-quality-tiktoks]

WAGWAN!

[high-quality-tiktoks]

Lmao back to skits

[blitzendoggo]

Just Woke Up

Zalkas has just "woken up" and has to deal with the fact that he 1) wasn't real before this 2) doesn't have a family and 3) his wife was not his soulmate

Glib/Zalkas Soulmate!AU (1463 words)

~~~

Zalkas looks around. He was working, he knew that. He's the captain of a battalion of men, he remembers that. What he isn't too sure about is what he's doing here or even where here is. His men are surrounding a group of- well, Zalkas isn't sure what they are. They aren't like him; he is very certain of that.

"There," the weird one says in sweetly innocent voice. "I've made us a guide."

"Did- did you just make that thing a person?" the faceless thing asks with a heavily accented voice. It cocks its head to the side and stares at Zalkas. Well, it's probably staring at him, but Zalkas cannot be certain because it doesn't have eyes!

"Where am I?" Zalkas asks, lowering his weapon slightly.

"You're in a tricky spot, Custer," the mustached man says with a chuckle.

"Pul," the little frog man interjects before Zalkas can correct him about his name. "What the fuck did you do to this guy?!"

"I've made a- I made a guide," 'Pul' says. He looks confused and a little sick, swaying a little on his feet. "We don't know where we are. Need to fix memory." He blinks slowly like he's gathering his thoughts. He points to Zalkas, his arm moving in a way that doesn't seem quite right. "Can help."

"Great, thanks," the frog deadpans.

"This doesn't look like the office," Zalkas mutters looking around. He puts his weapon away, not remembering why he had it out in the first place and takes stock of the situation. He's wearing his armor, but he's definitely not training right now. His soldiers are with him, but they are all unnaturally still.

"Hey guy! Hey dude, Scaly bits!" the little frog man says, demanding his attention.

"Yes?" Zalkas says with his typical charisma.

"Where do you think-" the frog starts to say before Zalkas cuts him off.

"My name is Zalkas," he says so that they will stop calling him the incorrect thing.

The frog blinks slowly at him. "What?"

"My name is Zalkas," he repeats with a smile.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me right now," the frog groans into his hand.

"Is that going to be an issue?" Zalkas asks, suddenly fearing he's miss stepped, somehow, with these newcomers.

"No- well maybe? Look man, I don't know," the frog sighs before looking at Zalkas. "My name is Glib."

There's a second of silence.

"Okay, it's nice to meet you Gilbert," Zalkas says with a smile.

"No- no, it's just Glib," he corrects, looking at Zalkas expectantly. After about ten seconds of them just staring at each other, Glib makes a face. "Does that not mean anything to you?"

"No." There's another second of silence. "Should it?"

The frog stares at him with his face rotating quickly between angry, confused, and something else, and the others are staring at him slack jawed.

"Zalkas," the southern gentleman says slowly. He steps forward and puts himself slightly in front of Glib, like he's trying to make sure Glib doesn't attack Zalkas. "What's the name on your wrist."

"Teresh," Zalkas says after a moment. He can't decide if he hesitated because he was caught off guard or if it was because he wasn't sure whose name was on his wrist. "My wife's name."

"Are you sure? Have you seen it since you've, uh, woken up?" the mustached man says in that same cautiously slow manner. Like someone trying to soothe a wild animal, but Zalkas is no animal! He's an Aldorian!

"What do you mean 'since I woke up'?" Zalkas demands, completely side-stepping the first question.

"Oh yes, you didn't exist before and your wife is probably not real," the faceless one says.

"S.G.!" the frog yells at the faceless thing while Zalkas stares at her wide-eyed. It takes only a moment before his shock becomes anger.

"How dare you tell me that she isn't real! And what are you- what do you mean I didn't exist before?!" Zalkas yells.

"What do you remember before Palnaros woke you up?" S.G. counters.

"I remember-" but he stops. What does he remember? He remembers fractions of things. He knows that right now he should be at the office and in exactly two hours, seventeen minutes, and nine seconds he needs to go home. But where is home? He can't remember what street it's on. Is it in the city? He wouldn't be able to get there from here, but he knows the exact steps he needs to take from the office to get to his front door. "I-"

"See?" S.G. says cockily. "You weren't real."

"But my wife?" Zalkas asks distraughtly.

"She's-" Zalkas can imagine what S.G. is about to say, but thankfully the businessman cuts them off.

"She's not awake like you are," he says, throwing a glare over his shoulder at the faceless one.

"So can you just-" the frog says harshly before taking a deep breath. "Can you just look at your wrist?" he says pleadingly and Zalkas is under the impression that he doesn't beg often.

Zalkas studies him for a moment before slowly nodding. He knows what name is on his wrist. Its Teresh. It has to be his wife's name. He has never imagined a life with anyone else. He loves her, doesn't he? Doesn't he?

He slowly takes off his gauntlet to reveal the bare scales of his wrist.

Written in a clean font in simple black and blue ink across his wrist is one name.

Glib

"What the fuck?" he says, more to himself than to the others.

"Yeah, I know," Glib says, looking defensive, but he's clearly just using it as a front for his anxiety. "I'm kinda going through the same thing."

"What about my wife?" Zalkas says touching the gold band on his finger. "What about my kids?" He thinks back to the soccer games he's watched- well no, he can only remember two games, one where his kids win and one where they lose. No, that's not right either because he's wearing a different shirt at the games. There are only two games programmed. "Oh, Order," he swears. "I really wasn't real." The world sways slightly and he kneels down before his feet can give out.

"So, are you upset about being soulmates or...?" Glib trails off, inching slightly closer.

Zalkas' head snaps up. "No, why would I be upset?" Zalkas says quickly. "Are you upset?"

"No, just shocked. Well -fuck- that's a lie. I was upset," Glib says, plopping down next to him. "I don't guess I am anymore now that I see what you're going through."

Zalkas looks at him and smiles.

"I hate to break this lovey-dovey moment or whatever this is- no I don't but still," S.G. says. "Can you call them off? Also, we are kind of on a mission."

"Call them...?" the dragonborn says before it clicks. "Oh yes!" He laughs before standing up quickly. "Soldiers! Return to station!" Zalkas barks in a way that feels robotic. In sync, all of the soldiers put their weapons up, salute, and teleport away, presumably back to their offices.

"Okay, that's creepy as hell," Glib mutters.

"No, its order," Zalkas says immediately, like his mouth is moving on its own. He blinks and shakes his head. "I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say that I agree."

"Must still have some code in there," the southern gentleman says, tapping him on the head. "Oh, I'm Mr. Goodbid, by the by." He sticks out his hand for Zalkas to shake.

Zalkas flashes him a smile and shakes his hand before turning back to the group. "So, you said something about a mission?"

"Yeah, we're here to restore that one's memories." Glib points to Palnaros.

"Ah, maybe the local shrink could help! She is typically at the tavern to make sure no one gets too rowdy!" Zalkas says, slipping back into his old showman's voice.

No one objects so Zalkas stares leading the way. He walks for a moment before he spots Glib who is walking really close to him. Zalkas does the first impulsive thing he's ever done in his life and scoops Glib up and sits him on his shoulder,

"Hey!" Glib yelps.

"Relax, Gilbert-"

"It's really just Glib-"

"-I'm just giving you a better vantage point!" Zalkas continues like Glib hadn't said anything.

"I can see it now," Goodbid says as he struts up next to the dragonborn. "You two will be sickly sweet."

"Oh God, no," Glib says with distain.

"I don't know, Gloria-" he gets a thump to the head that he completely ignores, "I am quite the romantic," he finishes with a grin.

"Oh, God," Glib groans, looking heaven-ward. "Kill me now."

[blitzendoggo]

Cold Blooded in the Snow

Zalkas and Glib are caught in a snowstorm. Zalkas is fine with this, Glib is slowly freezing to death.

Zalkas/Glib (803 words)

~~~

"It seems we have awful luck, Sir Gilbert," Zalkas says as he looks around. When they ran through the portal out of the Order Realm, something went wrong, and it spit them out in a random forest, too far away for Glib to hear S.G. For the last hour, they've been walking forward, blindly hoping to find someone who can tell them where they are.

"You have no idea, Scales," Glib grumbles. The air is bitingly cold and Glib, being a poison dart frog, is having trouble staying awake.

"Well, it could certainly be worse!" the acid dragon says. His tail is wagging back and forth behind him as he looks around at the forest. He told Glib that he had never seen anything like it, all the trees and plants in the Order Realm look identical and have no imperfections. He's certainly not bothered by the cold which might be because of his thick scales and heavy armor while Glib is left shivering in a cloak.

"Yeah, I guess it could be worse. It could be snowing," Glib replies, not looking at Zalkas.

As if cued in by his words, a light snow begins to come down.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Glib groans as Zalkas' eyes light up.

"They are so unique and beautiful!" Zalkas says with a wide smile. He holds out his hand and looks in amazement at the frozen water. "When it snowed back home, it was never like this!"

"Let me guess, everything looked the exact same?" Glib asks as he watches the dragon.

"Precisely!"

"Okay," Glib sighs. "So, listen. I'm a little frog, man, we aren't exactly built for the cold," Glib explains. "We need to find shelter until this storm passes." Glib pulls his cloak tighter around himself, as the temperature begins to drop even faster, and snow begins to come down even heavier.

Zalkas studies him for a moment before walking over to him and picking him up.

"Hey!" Glib squawks.

"You're right, Gloria-" Glib glares at him, "-we must find somewhere warm for you!" Before Glib can articulate a response, Zalkas is running through the woods towards the mountains he can see. Glib wraps himself tightly around Zalkas, firstly so he won't get dropped, and secondly because he is very warm. And does he really need to keep his eyes open? It's not like he's in control of where they're going. Besides, Zalkas is so warm. It's just for a moment.

When he opens his eyes again, they are in a cave. "Glib, wake up," Zalkas says and it sounds like its not the first time he's said it. He's shaking Glib's shoulders and Glib blinks slowly at him.

"I'm up," he says, his speech slurred with drowsiness. Zalkas nods and turns back to where it looks like he is trying to build a fire. Glib watches him and tries to stay awake, he really does. But everything feels so heavy and he's just so cold. Surely a little bit of sleep couldn't hurt, right?

Faintly, he can hear Zalkas trying to wake him up, but he's too cold to do anything.

**

"Come on, Gilbert, if you die, I'm not sure if the mustached man will be able to save me from the lying one," Zalkas says as Glib slowly wakes up.

"I'm not dead yet, bitch," Glib groans, and God, how is it possible to be this cold?! He snuggles closer to his heat source.

Wait, heat source?

He blinks open his eyes and sees a worried Zalkas blinking down at him. He's on Zalkas' chest, wrapped in his own cloak like a baby, and they are both sat as close as is physically safe to the fire.

Glib stares at him, waiting on an explanation. Normally he would be raging mad, but he is far too cold and tired to feel anything but misery.

"You were cold," Zalkas starts.

"Uh huh."

"And I didn't want to leave you on the cold cave floor."

Glib looks at him for a long moment before just sighing.

"Wake me up when the storm ends," Glib says as he buries his head back into Zalkas' chest.

Zalkas nods and wraps his arms around Glib in an attempt to keep him warm. He watches the snow fall outside as he listens to Glib's breathing even back out. He considers whether or not he would actually want to go back to the Order Realm. Everything there seems boring and repetitive compared to life outside with the others. And it's not like he has a wife or kids to go back to, if S.G. is to be believed, and if they are real, they aren't awake like he is.

No, he probably won't go back. He might as well see where this thing goes.

[zenosanalytic]

Yeah. Also important to note the stance here. OP is in the correct stance to do this: his legs are moderately spread, one forward one back, and his torso is aligned with that diagonal stance, which both keeps all his weight above his legs and makes him "wider" which makes him sturdier.

Gymbro is trying to lift it from a a conventional "straight" stance, which has very little stability(Gee I wonder why the military forces soldiers to stand in such an unstable physical position when in the presence of officers???) and thus isn't a firm base for lifting stuff.

😁💥