#eating recovery center

[bonbongiveshell]

No but what if I kill myself tho

[fromthemouthofkings]

.

[alostbeautynomore]

A girl I used to be in treatment with died because of anorexia. I am sad. The people I have met in treatment will always have a place in my heart ya know? She is the 3rd friend of mine to die because of their eating disorder. And instead of pushing me toward recovery I just feel angry at food and like food is the problem. It’s illogical and irrational anger. I should have the opposite reaction. Idk why I don’t.

[dietpillsanddietcoke]

“A Love Letter To The Me I’ve Yet To Become”

Dear You, 

I don’t know when I’ll meet you, and I don’t know that I’ll recognize you as me when I do. 

Life’s been hard… Trauma happened and re-happened and then happened some more.  You were broken for a long time.  

Broken and beginning to think you’d never be fixed. 

The truth is you never got “fixed,” so-to-speak. 

 But you learned that “God uses broken things.” 

And that even in the depths of your brokenness, 

you not only healed your own hurt, 

but helped others to heal theirs as well.

My dear, I am so proud of the person you’ve become.  

The person who, despite all the hurt she’s been through, 

never fails to show up with compassion and love for others.  

What I’m more proud of is how you’ve learned to show up with compassion and love for yourself. 

It’s remarkable, really, to see how a woman who hated herself for so long could finally not only accept her being but care for it, too.  

You’ve learned to honor your body’s cues 

for hunger, 

for rest, 

for connection.  

You’ve taught your body that it doesn’t have to be scared all the time.  

You’ve proven to it that you can keep yourself safe. 

Thank you for keeping yourself safe, my sweet.  

Thank you for learning to love the parts of you I swore I never would. 

I will keep on loving you, until we meet.

With deep gratitude,

Me

[markllockwood]

Eating disorder treatment center

Our eating disorder treatment center experience is completely unique and non-clinical. Our program has been highly successful for the past 13 years and has helped many people with eating disorders and what we call disordered eating to heal, recover and re

Our eating disorder treatment center experience is completely unique and non-clinical. Our program has been highly successful for the past 13 years and has helped many people with eating disorders and what we call disordered eating to heal, recover and renew their lives. Private eating disorder treatment center A eating disorder treatment center is not for everyone and some people prefer…

[honeydewandcake]

TW — Asylum/Hospital setting, mental disorders, medical malpractice

Inspired by Fran Bow, Sparklecare, Pure Trance, and other such things; I had an idea for a Dandy’s World AU that centers around a hospital setting

I feel like a lot of people don’t like asylum or hospital AUs because they are full of exaggerated or misinformed ideas of what mental illness is. I tried not to do that, though I’m not a professional so I still might be wrong about some things. I don’t want to take this idea too far in fear that it might be distasteful, but I do want to share this idea to see if others like it too.

Dandy’s Care is a separate world where, instead of a museum, Dandy and his friends were meant to be for a children’s hospital to treat the sick and ill. They were meant to be comfort characters to patients and were meant to support them during their stay. Like in Dandy’s World, the hospital shut down due to unspecified sanitation issues. Dandy, also known as Dr. Dandicus Dancifer, slowly became more and more starved for activity. He started targeting his friends, making the hospital into an asylum for them. He changed their characters, changing his friends into patients. The toons have no memory of their former self, only knowing their diseased and ill present self.

The staff is made up of the main toons. All of them are nurses and Dandy is the main doctor. They all act like their former selves, though they have no memory. I didn’t want to draw all of them so just imagine Astro and Vee in these uniforms.

Read more to see other toons (not all of them drawn or thought of yet, don’t attack me ;-;) ↓

Razzle and Dazzle, the only ones that I thought of completely because I already drew them before. They’re the reason why I made this entire thing anyway.

They are just experiments by Dandy, who wanted to see if the two could live together if they were attached. They used to love each other, now they don’t. Razzle is no longer looking for comedy, Dazzle is no longer looking for hope. Both are only set on the idea of revenge against Dandy for making them this way.

Life is hard when you can only feel the sensations on one half on your body, they can barely walk and can only stand or sit. They take many painkillers as their wounds take a long time to health properly. They wish they could escape this place and just die already, but they’re stuck and forced to live for as long as Dandy wants.

Razzle is a lot more violent now. He is prone to biting and scratching the staff. He hates doing all the lab tests and medical procedures, he hates being near Dazzle, he hates being stuck in this living hell. Razzle is the reason why they’re not allowed near sharp or blunt objects.

Dazzle became paranoid, scared of any noise that happens. He’s terrified of Razzle because of how violent he can get, he hates him too. Dazzle cries a lot, he cries until he can’t everyday. Dazzle wishes he could just die already, he thinks everything is scary and out to get him.

Shrimpo is thought to be a patient that had anger issues and aggressive tendencies. According to Dandy, he was admitted for being violent in public, although this is only part of the fake story that Dandy gave him. Shrimpo was forced to get a lobotomy, unethical but who cares. Dandy sure didn’t.

He’s still in the recovery phase, so he might be a bit loopy. Once those bandages are off, he’ll be as right as rain. Shrimpo is a wanderer around the hospital as he’s no longer a threat. He’s allowed to leave his room and go out in the play yard but only if a nurse is with him.

Shrimpo doesn’t really have much going for him. His thoughts are scrambled and he only cares for things in front of him. Although the lobotomy made him more passive, it doesn’t mean he’s any better in terms of motivation. Shrimpo certainly has no drive for anything anymore, he doesn’t mind but it gets in the way of his health as well. The staff needs to remind him to go to the dining room to eat or to go take a shower, because otherwise he’ll forget.

Boxten was made to believe that he has had problems with insomnia ever since he was little, of course it’s not true. He takes sleeping pills and melatonin, but it only seems to worsen his nightmares. This makes him skip his doses to avoid sleeping, repeating the cycle over and over.

Boxten is afraid of imaginary things that might get him. He thinks they’ve already in his head, eating away at his brain and giving him nightmares. Of course the only thing the nurses can see is his music box. Boxten has lost all trust in the staff since they couldn’t see or feel the things he can.

In my original notes, it said that Boxten might have psychosis.

Well that’s all the once I’ve drawn, I don’t really have the motivation to make every single toon. I have a couple of ideas though

— Goob somehow survived a terrible accident, but both his arms needed to be amputated making him armless. He suffers from brain damage and internal bleeding. He doesn’t seem to have any change in his personality, still as joyful as ever. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism

— Tisha has severe OCD which damages her mental health. She’s constantly worried about everything that happens around her, making her super aware of her surroundings. She could be a danger to herself and others as she sometimes has very aggressive thoughts but can’t control her actions. She unintentionally hurts herself because of her OCD, such as washing her hands so many times that they start to bleed.

Not for a toon, but I did have an idea for an added addition to the hospital. Maybe there’s a twisted reform center where the staff try and heal twisteds back to their normal self. They would clean the ichor from them but since the ichor is also inside of them their personalities don’t change as much. Twisteds such as Finn and R&D might be too far gone though, they would have to be disabled for life. I might draw this idea because I think it’s kind of cool, I definitely will if people also think this is interesting.

[annaandmiah]

ED MEDIA

MOVIES

★ little miss perfect ★

an overambitious high school freshman tries to control her life by controlling her weight.

➜ watch on soap2day

★ starving in suburbia ★

17-year-old Hannah joins a dangerous “thinspiration” online community where users treat anorexia as a lifestyle rather than a disorder.

➜ Watch on Vimeo

★ sharing the secret ★

beth turns to binging and purging as a way to control one aspect of her life, but her habits quickly spiral out of control and force her to seek treatment.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hmujb3ndoo0

★ for the love of nancy★

follows the main character as she starts college, becomes more and more withdrawn, starts a regimented exercise routine, stops eating, and begins losing an unhealthy amount of weight.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cgvxvq33swy

★ a secret between friends ★

when two teenage girls become fast friends and decide to diet together, things go from bad to worse, ultimately leading to the near death of one of the girls.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vmf4cd1fxge

★ dying to dance ★

➜ a young woman succumbs to pressure at ballet school and develops anorexia nervosa.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hi5ww4z-rx8

★ girl, interrupted★

based on writer susanna kaysen's account of her 18-month stay at a mental hospital in the late 1960s.

➜ Watch on Netflix

★ Kate's secret ★

a beautiful woman married to a successful lawyer and the perfect suburban mother who turns out to be a closeted bulimic.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zpchtd3xw4q

★ the best little girl in the world ★

a young girl develops an eating disorder, alternately starving herself or throwing up food. her parents, angry and desperate, send her to a hospital. unfortunately, she befriends a patient who convinces her to hide her illness.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oy7gj99pt_a

★ thirteen ★

an innocent seventh grader undergoes an abrupt personality change when she begins hanging out with a wild classmate

➜ Watch on Disney Plus

★ to the bone ★

ellen is an unruly 20-year-old anorexic girl who spent the better part of her teenage years being shepherded through various recovery programmes, only to find herself several pounds lighter every time.

➜ Watch on Netflix

TV SHOWS

★ Skins ★

 lives of a group of teenagers in Bristol, England, are followed through two years of sixth form, with the story line of this critically acclaimed series delving into such controversial subjects as substance abuse, sexuality, teenage pregnancy, personality and eating disorders, and mental illness

➜ Watch on Stan

★ Red band society ★

 a group of teenagers live together as patients at a hospital's pediatric ward and learn how to deal with their illnesses, the experiences that they have, and the people that they meet.

➜ Watch on Disney Plus

★ Insatiable ★

For years Patty was overweight, which caused her to be bullied, ignored and underestimated by the people around her. But she is now thin and seeking revenge against those who ever made her feel bad about herself through fat-shaming.

➜ Watch on Netflix

DOCUMENTRYS

★ Thin ★

this documentary follows four women receiving eating disorder treatment at the renfrew center in coconut creek, florida. while each woman has their own “final straw” that brought them to renfrew, they all suffer from eating disorders that profoundly affect their lives to the point of near-death, in some cases.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gsqwhmesizq

★ Dana the 8-year-old anorexic ★

Little Dana became a walking skeleton after suffering from anorexia - at EIGHT. She told her distraught parents she would rather DIE than eat. And she even hid in a laundry basket at meal times to avoid having food.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKSwPBUhCBo&list=PLfjwnsEd5VNYTtPpke17nY2AHRNNpcWIK&index=3

[yapileon]

@TacklerCulers: The Chaotic Teen Serie pt. 2

fcb femení x chaoticteen!reader pt. 1 2235w

17yo La Masia defender gets promoted to the first team. Will you be able to keep your fcb femení fan account hidden while slowly making your place in the team with your idols?

Alright you'll admit it. When you heard Aitana talking about your meme, you panicked, spending most of the night turning over in your bed. Realistically, there was no way anyone would ever link that account back to you, and also, you just used it to create funny memes and sometimes, you'd talk strategy too. Ok fair, you maybe had insulted some of the strategic decision from the Spanish federation once or twice (or a hundred time, but who's counting?). It was the Spanish federation after all, and you doubted anyone, and certainly not the team, would blame you for that.

To make sure to keep your hidden identity secret, it'd be simple, you just had to make sure to not be logged in the fan account when posting on your professional account. Also, you'd need to make sure to not use pictures you had taken yourself to make the memes. You smiled, satisfied, the plan was easy. Which means you now had time to post, Ingrid was your target today. It's true that you had a thing for memes, but what you liked even better were stats. Ingrid' stats? Magnificent. Chef kiss.

tacklersculers

liked by 273 people

posted 23 minutes ago...

You made a mental note to ask Ingrid's for passing tips later during your daily training session. But before, Alexia and most of the veteran players had decided a team bonding moment would be good to make sure you were well integrated.

While making your way to the training ground—because of course the team bonding would be in a recovery room from the training center— you spotted a chocolate store. Deciding coming empty handed would be unpolite, you bought some boxes to bring to the team. Because who doesn't like chocolate, right?

Alexia Putellas. Of course Alexia does not eat chocolate. The blonde had smiled to you when you had knocked on the door, waving the sweets when the Catalan had opened. She had taken them gently to put them on the side, and spoke "Gracias, cariño, but I don’t eat chocolate during the season." Your face fell so low she quickly added, "The others will love it!" Talk about dying inside.

Patri had embraced you, before looking at you, worried.

"Something's wrong?"

You slumped. "I just arrived and I'm already messing up Alexia's routine..." The midfielder looked at you questioningly. "I brought chocolate."

The brunette smirked, "Great, more for us." and then she had ran to grab the chocolate boxes, dragging Pina with her. You couldn't help but giggle.

You made your way forward to where most of the team was staying. Jana patted the couch, inviting you and you threw yourself in the gap next to her.

"Hi guys! I brought chocolate, but Pina and Patri ran off with them, so I don't think you'll get any." You had said innocently.

And just like that, Mapi, Vicky and Kika jumped off their chairs, letting them fall to the ground in a loud bang and ran.

Irene sighed, "I swear these three don't even sprint that fast during matches." She was shaking her head, feigning disappointment, but you swore you could see a smirk on her lips.

You were too busy exchanging social medias with Jana to realize the two chocolate thief had come back, now chased by the three women. Pina and Patri were protecting the box as if it was their children, keeping it tight in between them. Vicky was trying to tear them apart to access the chocolate treasure, while Kika and Mapi were apparently plotting. That's when Mapi decided to throw herself at the thieve, tackling Patri to the ground.

"Ref! Unfair advantage! You're a defender you know how to tackle!" The midfielder tried to argue, but it was too late as Mapi held the box above her head, victorious.

"You'd all be getting red cards." Caro added, sighing at the desperate sight of the players acting like children.

You watched, amused, never thinking a simple box of chocolate would cause such a fuss.

Jana had gotten closer to you, and whispered in your ear "They like Churros even more than this, imagine the chaos it'd be." The smirk you gave her said it all, and you both mentally agreed to go and get Churros next time there would be a team bonding.

But Pina seemed set on making you pay for betraying her to the trio. She jumped on top of you and Jana, leaning heavily in both of your laps, looking at your phone.

That's when her eyes caught sight of your wallpaper of Mapi. She grabbed your phone. You screamed. She took off and you chased after her bickering for her to give you back your phone, but you hadn't seen that she had thrown it in Alexia's lap. The Catalan was squinting at your wallpaper, trying to decipher it.

"Is that..." She had started, unsure. "Is that a cardboard cutout of Mapi, next to you in bed?"

Your jaw dropped. "That's not what it looks like!" You were blushing furiously, if only you had been an ostrich your life would have been so much easier. You could have just banged your head in the ground and forget about whatever on earth was happening right now.

Mapi had sprinted even faster than when she went to run after the chocolate, hovering over Alexia's shoulder to look. She let herself fall on ground, holding her ribs while wheezing.

If you were not frozen, you could have tried grabbing back your phone before Alexia gave it to someone else, bus alas. The team was passing it to each other, all laughing.

"Wait, is she tucked in?!" Patri wheezed, already laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Vicky and Kika were both hitting each other, dying.

That sent some of the other players in a longer laughing fit. You dropped yourself on the couch, face buried in a pillow.

"It's the pyjamas for me," Ingrid added, pointing at the Christmas themed barça clothes you're wearing in the pic. You groan in response.

"Care to explain, cariño?" Alexia had said when most of your teammates had calmed down.

You whined, still hiding your face. "It's not fair, this is slander!"

Mapi, who had recovered from her laughing fit, had started to forcefully tear the pillow from you, but you were putting up a fight, unwilling to face the embarrassing truth just yet.

"Drop it or I'm filling a restraining order." The center back had teased, making you loosen your grip on the pillow, "You drop it! Or I'm never bringing you chocolate again!" you really tried to win, but the Spaniard was too strong for you.

When she took off the pillow from your face, you gasped, looking at her in horror. "First of all," you had started, furiously counting on your fingers. "That's your fault actually, because two years ago you didn't want to take a picture with me, so I stole that carboard from the Barcelona store." you recalled.

Now it was Alexia's turn to gasp "You stole that?" Her looks disapproving. You could tell she was not happy about that.

"It's cardboard anyways, it should be free?" You tried arguing, but were cut off by Frido, "That does not explain why you got the fake Mapi in your bed."

"Because my roommates wanted to steal her! So I had to protect cardboard Mapi."

You were dead serious. Two years ago, Barça B had won a big tournament, as a reward, the whole team was invited to watch a match from the first team. You had been delighted, thinking it would finally be your chance to get a picture with your idol. Except, things had not been going according to plan. The defender had been so focused on waving her barça flag around the field, time had slipped her mind and she was being hurried off the field. Leaving Mapi no time to interact with the fans. Before leaving, your group had been allowed to visit the merchandise store, as you were stomping around, visibly disappointed, you had seen it. A cardboard version of your idol, doing her famous lion pose. You hadn't really planned of doing it. Ok, maybe a little. So you had waited till the last moment, and when most of your teammates were out of the store, you had grabbed the cardboard cut-out and ran. You were a woman on a mission. Not stopping when you heard security guards shouting in Spanish behind you, or when you coach called your name in vain. When you were safe and sound, waiting in front of the team bus, you had looked at the life sized cardboard, appreciating it's beauty. "Totally worth it," you had mumbled to yourself.

The bus driver had looked at you weirdly, and you'd always remember the walk of shame of dragging that cardboard to the bedroom you shared with one of your teammates. Except she really wanted to have it too, asking if you two could split the custody. You did not want that, which meant you spent some long week never leaving fake Mapi alone, going as far as taking her in the bathroom with you when you showered, and keeping it in your bed.

Screeching brought your attention back to the women in the room with you.

"Do I have to be jealous?" Ingrid had screaming in between laughs. This was the final straw, chaos erupted in the recovery room. Even the serious players were gasping for breath. You swore you saw Ona almost fell out of her chair, clutching her side. The whole team was vibrating with joy.

You sighed, looking at Mapi. She had tears in her eyes and her grin was so wide you guessed her cheeks were burning. Those rare moments when the euphoria is so big, it feels like your whole body ache with it, the dopamine rush hitting you. That's when you decided that maybe, it wasn't so embarrassing after all and you laughed with them. If the center back, who was at least as concerned as you in this story, wasn't embarrassed or weirded out, then you wouldn't be either.

For a long time, it seemed everyone was driving themselves to laugh ever harder. Anytime someone stopped crackling, they'd look at each other and start loosing it even harder.

Though a knock had interrupted the room, allowing most players to catch their breath. Ona had jumped up to go get what you assumed was the food that had been ordered earlier. She had come back in record time.

Just as you thought the team might forget about your embarrassment, Aitana’s voice cut through the laughter, dragging you into your next moment of doom.

"Look at that Ona, you're being as fast as The Flash again."

Ona had taken this for a challenge apparently, and was now running in circle around everyone. Bumping against Caro, who had started unpacking the take outs, making her curse at Ona.

The younger players snickered, aware of the meme. But when you heard that you paled, you had almost forgot about what had happened in the locker room yesterday. And for Ona to take the meme at heart so much meant that some of the players really knew about it. It was just one funny picture, you did not think they'd bring the subject up again.

Sinking into the comfy couch, you went silent, listening to the team. The older players were distributing the food, making plates for everyone while looking at Aitana, unsure of what she was talking about.

"¿Qué?" Alexia questioned, looking confused, "The...The Flash?"

Ona and Vicky threw themselves next to the captain, pulling out their phone to show her the meme. Oh god, did they knew that much about your account?

Seriously, what on earth had you done to deserve all this. First there was the chocolate chaos, secondly your Mapi cardboard story, and now you had to deal with all of them talking about your secret fan account. Your karma was very obviously failing you, or you were a terrible person in a past life, but it definitely felt like some stronger power was against you today.

"Wait, is this me?" Ingrid exclaimed, pointing at the phone with a smile.

Jana looked, "Yeah, look like they posted a new meme this morning...94% pass completion, that's really good Ingrid!" she said brightly.

Irene joined the conversation, "So they don't just make funny memes, but also keep up with our statistics?"

"That's actually hilarious, send me their account please!" Frido chimed in, chewing on food.

You were too absorbed watching them, horror in your eyes, to realize Mapi had plopped down next to you. The woman looked so serious you almost panicked.

"You know kid," she had started, looking deep in your eyes, "If I had known you were so great, I would have fought the security to take a picture with you," You could see she was dead serious, and couldn't help bursting out laughing at the thought of her fighting off the security using her barça flag as a sword.

"Sure," you beamed, relaxed but trying you best to look serious.

She gave you a cheeky smile, before continuing "So, you're bringing my cardboard twin to training tomorrow?" the defender ruffled you hair. "That's it, no more chocolate for you, ever." Back to cringing in the pillow you went. But deep down, you felt exhilarated, like everything you had dreamt of for years was finally happening. You were making your place in the best team in the world. And if being teased was all you had to deal with, you'd take it in a heartbeat.

Oh and, you were definitely bringing fake Mapi to training tomorrow.

[repulsiveliquidation]

Cookies and Cuddles

Leah Williamson x Reader [SMUT! little bit.]

little PSA at the end! i don't know what this is it just...happened.

“She’s left me on read again, Gee.”

“Maybe she’s just busy, Leah. She’ll be okay.”

Leah nods, putting her phone away in her back pocket. She focuses back on her food, eating her lunch distractedly. It was way past your regular weekend lie-in; you hadn’t even given her a call the night before. You had been distant for days, ever since you didn’t get that England call-up you thought you were.

Being out from injury was the worst; you had recently been cleared to play full games. England call-up was your first chance at being back, but you didn’t see your name on the roster the week before. Leah’s name was there; she felt sad she couldn’t attend her first call-up since her injury with you.

Leah was distracted the whole day, missing passes and being sloppy. Sarina called her to the side, a stern look on her face.

“I’ve called you up here because I knew you were ready. I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry, Sarina, it’s just,” she sighs, rubbing her hand down her face. “Y/N has been off lately, and I’m worried about her.”

“Off how?”

“She hasn’t been responding to my texts. I haven’t heard from her the past two days; no more than 5 minutes.”

“You want to know why I didn’t put her name on the roster?”

Leah puts her guard up, ready to defend her girlfriend.

“Why?” she asks with slightly gritted teeth. Sarina replies unfazed.

“I knew she was more than football ready; her head isn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Leah growls, ears steaming as she tries to keep her cool.

“She was the best striker on the list for me to pick. But I had a suspicion that her head wasn’t quite ready for it yet. You’ve proven my point.”

“Are you saying–” Leah began angrily.

“What I’m saying is I didn’t want to make things worse for her. She needs some time to get her head on straight. Football isn’t the solution right now. You are. Go home to her, make sure she’s okay. I expect you at training tomorrow afternoon, Captain. Bring her along.”

Leah looks a little shocked, nodding softly at Sarina before sprinting out of the training center. She grabs her stuff haphazardly, shoving it all into her kitbag before running out to her car.

She races home, barging into the house noisily. She calls for you, the entire house engulfed in darkness. You had all the curtains pulled, the bathroom light letting in a sliver of light. She slowly trudged up the stairs, heart pounding in her chest as she called out for you again. She feared the worst, wiping her sweaty forehead.

She knew about your history of depression; she knew that stress often caused it to get pretty bad. With your recovery from injury and the prospect of an England call-up, paired with being you was often something that you both knew would be a rough time for you.

She slowly pushed the bedroom door open, letting out a sigh of relief when she saw your sleeping form on her side of the bed. It made her heart clench that you missed her but couldn’t bring yourself to admit it. She sat on the bed, you jolted awake when she did.  

The moment you saw her you scrambled out of bed and into her arms. You sobbed painfully, Leah’s arms tight and warm around you. She sighed and pulled you closer, cradling the back of your head as her other hand rubbed your back.

“Oh Leah, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, baby; you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden, it was your first camp back from injury I didn’t want you to be distracted,” you mumble into her neck, she’s quick to shut you down.

“You are not a burden, baby. You are my priority. I will drop everything for you, my love. Everything.”

“You don’t have to, not for me,” she presses her finger to your lips, her eyes soften and she cups your face.

“I want to, only for you,” Leah tells you, standing up with you in her arms. She sets you down gently, cupping your face and kissing you deeply. You kiss back, hands gripping her wrists tight. She kisses you with so much emotion, lips saying more than words ever could.

You’re crying, hot tears flowing down your cheeks. She pulls away and wipes your tears, kissing your forehead softly.

Her hands slowly travel lower and lower, grasping the bottom of her hoodie you had on. She pecked your lips when you looked down at her hands, smiling softly.

“Can I?” she asks, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes,” you reply, lifting your arms obediently for her.

She pulls the sweater off, gasping softly at your worn-out body. She can see the outline of your ribs a little, collarbones more prominent than when she last kissed them. She tears up herself, biting her cheek to keep herself composed.

“How long baby?”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, wanting so badly to be honest with her. You take a while to answer, she doesn’t push you. Her hands softly caress your skin, tracing gently with affection.

“Since they let me on the first time.” That was 5 weeks ago. You were subbed on for the last 5 minutes of a game, adrenaline high for the first time in a while. When it came crashing down, so did the irrational thoughts. Your head became louder than your heart, and insecurities that had been festering inside you made their grand appearance.

You had done well to mask it, directing others into thinking that I was just the stress of being back as something that you needed to get used to again. Leah was kicking herself; she didn’t even see her girlfriend struggling until she had made it obvious.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was getting bad then?” she asked next, hands pulling your sweats down your legs gently. She kissed back up your thigh, standing in front of you with a look of concern.

“You were thriving Leah, I couldn’t ruin that for you.”

She kisses you again, this time her tears make the kiss salty. She pulls away and pulls you in for a hug, she begs for your forgiveness; the forgiveness you tell her she doesn’t need to ask for.

She kisses up your neck, gently moving you to the bed. You lay back down for her, watching her slowly take her clothes off. You sigh, scooting into the middle of the bed waiting for her.

She climbs in and immediately snuggles under the covers, pulling you close to her chest. Your ear settles right over her heart, listening to the strong pounding that eventually matches yours. Her naked form is warm, her legs tangled intimately with yours. Her hands caress your back and arms soothingly, lips pressing soft and tender kisses to your head and temple.

"I love you," she whispers, pressing a kiss to your hair.

"I love you too, Lee." you answer, kissing her jaw.

She begins to tell you all about camp, your hand softly rubbing her side and toned stomach. Her soft voice lulls you back to sleep, she sighs and keeps caressing every bit of skin she can get her hands on.

“I’ve got you, princess. Always have, always will.”

//

You both wake up the next day around 10, feeling the most refreshed and rejuvenated in a while. Leah immediately tilts your head up and demands kisses, you can only shake your head at her and lean up to give her a few pecks. She pouts, cheekily asking for more.

“Leah, my teeth aren’t brushed,” you reason, chin resting on her chest as you look up at her.

“So? Mine aren’t either. I want a kiss, then you may do whatever you’d like.”

“Just one.”

“Can’t guarantee but, yes. At least.”

You lean up and kiss her, sucking in her bottom lip before pulling away and sprinting into the bathroom. She wasn’t far behind, managing to get the door before you slammed it closed. She smiled, creeping up on you like a stalking dog. She traps you by the sinks, arms on either side of you.

“Kiss me,” she demands again, grabbing your arms.

You shake your head, sucking in your lips.

“Kiss. Me.” She orders, pressing her lips to yours. You melt when her calloused hands pull your waist closer, kissing her back softly. She grins into the kiss, hiking you up onto the counter. She’s kissing down your chest, when you notice the time.

“Leah, don’t you have training today?” you ask, slightly out of breath when she takes your breast into her mouth. She pulls away with a soft pop.

“Yes, you’re coming with. Bosses’ orders.”

“We can’t–” you start, as her lips trail lower and lower on your body, “we have to leave in a while!”

“I’ll be quick,” she gruffs, picking you up off the counter and pointing to the shower.

“Get in, save time,” she nudges you in, following you and turning on the water. Her hands are on you immediately, pressing your ass back into her front. You moan softly, having missed her familiar touches.

She grasped your breast from behind, the other hand cupping your heat as her fingers fondled your rapidly soaking folds. You gasped, arm reaching back to cradle her head that tucked itself into your neck. She sucked on your skin hard, fingers already sinking into your wet hole.

“Got to be quick baby, I can’t be late,” she teased, two fingers pumping furiously into your hole. You cried out for her, the steaming hot shower engulfing the both of you.

“Lee-Leah!”

“Missed me, did you doll?”

“Yes, fuck, yes!”

Her fingers nudge in a third, thumb rapidly rubbing on your clit.

“God, you’re so fucking wet for me hm?”

“Only for you, Leah!” Your orgasm was fast approaching, her fingers pressed up against your spot made your head spin. She continued.

“Yeah, you’re gonna cum for me aren’t ya? Gonna make a fuckin’ mess for me baby girl? Good thing we’re in the shower, it’ll wash away all the evidence of you being such a fucking whore for me…”

When she called you a whore, your entire body shook with your strong orgasm. She talked and petted you through it, cooing affectionately into your ear as her fingers slowly slid out of your pussy. She was quick to shove them into her mouth before the water cleaned them for her.

“Secret’s safe with me, doll,” she winks at you, grabbing your shampoo as you stand there more in love with the woman than you were before.  

//

i'm going to be taking a break for a bit, with exams and a bit of traveling coming up i won't have time to upload as often as i normally do. i've realized that i've put pressure on myself to post every other day or so and i can't commit to that for a bit. i will answer asks and stuff so i'm always up for a chat!

[superhaught]

I Mean It Different Than You Do

Pairing: Leighton x Reader

Warnings: surgery recovery, pure fluff

Word Count: 2500

Anonymous Asked: Hi! Could i please request a Leighton x fem reader that’s kind of based on the episode of slocg where Kimberly has her surgery and the Kansas guy takes care of her and she thinks hey only thinks of her like tiny Tim lol but instead it’s with Leighton x reader and leighton takes care of a sick reader and finds out that they have feelings for each other and it’s full of fluff! Sorry if this is confusing lol

Took inspiration from Reneé's song "I Do" as well.

Leighton and reader are best friends. Leighton helps reader through their wisdom tooth surgery.

You had found a friend in a very unlikely person. 

The first time you noticed her, she was trying to get drunk off of tiny disposable cups of wine while volunteering at the Women’s Center open mic night. 

The second time you noticed her, she was sitting down in the seat in front of you in your spring semester astronomy class. 

After working on a class project together, you discovered that she was actually a very sweet person underneath her designer clothes, perfectly straightened blonde hair, and chilly attitude. You became fast friends over that second semester at Essex and ended up spending a lot of time together outside of class. 

You watched as Leighton Murray grew more and more comfortable with her sexuality over time. As her friend, you supported her exploration of being out and were there for her throughout the ups and downs of her relationships with Alicia and Tatum. 

You invited her over to your off-campus apartment when she needed some time to decompress from Essex life. You watched movies together almost every weekend. You forced her to experience some natural New England beauty with brief hiking trips and lake days. 

She brought you to parties, took you along shopping and out for lunch and dinner, and earnestly tried to get you more involved in the dating scene. Leighton even set up a dating app profile for you once and you just giggled and said, “I don’t want to meet someone through an app!” 

She rolled her eyes at you, “I give up! Don’t you want to start seeing people?”

“I dunno,” you shrugged, “I feel like I have everything I want right now.”

“How are we so different?” the blonde mused, turning her attention to her own phone, which was constantly blowing up with messages. “Well, whatever. I’m not going to force you to date just for the sake of it, but I feel like you’re missing out.”

You didn’t say anything in response. You were reading in your bed and Leighton was laying next to you comfortably. You were holding a highlighter in between your teeth and occasionally shifting so that you could annotate in your book. You had noticed that Leighton had been glancing over at you a few times but you didn’t say anything about it. 

She flipped her phone to face you at some point, showing you an instagram post announcing an upcoming Theta party, “wanna go?”

You looked at the date of the party and frowned, shaking your head, “can’t. I’m sorry, Leight. I’m getting my wisdom teeth out that day.”

“Aw shit, really? That sucks…”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m going to need the weekend to recover. Actually, I was going to ask you if I could get your help with a ride to and from the dentist but you should go to the party so don’t worry about it.”

“No, I'd love to help! You think I’d rather be hanging out in the rancid Theta house than eating popsicles and binging Housewives with my best friend?”

You laughed, “Well I don’t know, would you rather hang out with me after getting wisdom tooth surgery than go to a party and potentially meet a hottie to spend the night with?”

Leighton smirked at you and shifted a little bit closer to you in the bed, leaning her head on your shoulder, “nah… lately, you’re the only hottie I’ve been wanting to spend my time with.”

“Yeah, right,” you snorted. 

“I’m being serious, dumbass.”

You both looked at each other for a moment. You were thrown off by her words, surely she didn’t mean…

“What are you reading, anyway?” Leighton asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Oh, nothing too exciting…” you go on to tell her about the assigned reading you were doing for your poetry class and she listened to you, letting the awkwardness of the earlier conversation fade away. 

Leighton hung out at your apartment, enjoying the ability to do her homework in the easy quiet with you rather than amidst all the chaos of the dorms and her suite. You ordered take out and watched a show on your laptop and then she reluctantly got ready to leave to go home for the night. She was packing up her tote bag and then you just blurted it out, “stay.”

She looked up at you, “huh?”

“You could just stay. You don’t have to go back to campus, if you don’t want to, I mean. Like, I’m not kicking you out.”

“Are you saying that I don’t have to go, or are you asking me to stay?”

“Are those two different things?”

She nodded, “yes.”

You took a deep breath, “then… I’m asking you to stay, I guess. I don’t want you to go. Sleep over.”

Leighton smiled and let go of her bag before joining you on the bed again, “okay, let’s watch another episode then.”

You ended up watching another two episodes of tv, eating microwave popcorn in bed and laughing over stupid things. 

Life was easier with Leighton. 

Your neck was hurting you. You blinked a few times then realized that you and Leighton had fallen asleep cuddled up with each other and left the laptop playing the show. You were now staring at the screen that read “Are you still watching?”

You shifted your body slightly, trying not to wake Leighton up. She moved and you thought you had woken her but she just sniffled slightly and hugged you a little tighter. You carefully got rid of your laptop and adjusted yourself in the bed so that you could lie down fully and Leighton came with you, sleeping on her side with her head tucked into the crook of your neck. 

You smiled and pulled the blankets over you both, then turned off your bedside lamp and fell back to sleep with Leighton in your arms. 

Leighton had woken up that following morning with a cute smile and said, “that was the best sleep.” The blonde pressed a quick peck of a kiss to your cheek before she got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. She didn’t bother closing the bathroom door all the way. You glanced over at her while she looked in the mirror and fixed her hair. 

You didn’t talk about any of it and you didn’t know what to think. Leighton was your best friend. She didn’t have feelings for you. She would’ve said something by now. This was just what it was like to have a close friend, you assumed. 

The rest of your week was fairly standard. Classes and homework sucked up your time, but you and Leighton had developed a routine that you always stuck to. You met at Sips for coffee on Monday afternoons. You ate dining hall lunch together on Tuesdays and Fridays. You walked to astro and sat together every Wednesday, and hung out at your apartment Wednesday nights before going to the observatory for your nighttime astronomy assignments. 

And in all that time, you never once discussed the cuddling, or the little kiss, so you convinced yourself that you were overthinking it and tried to let it go. 

When Friday came around, Leighton had shown up outside of your apartment building that morning with one of the fancier Ubers generously paid for by her father ready to take you to and from your surgery. 

You came outside wearing comfy clothes and she smiled and opened the car door for you.

She then got into the car on the other side and sat next to you, “I already went shopping and got everything I thought you might need this weekend to recover and I have a ton of low-energy-investment plans to make sure you don’t get bored. I’m going to stay with you for as long as you want me to, unless I drive you crazy, of course, but-”

“Leight, you didn’t have to do all of that…”

“It’s nothing! I want to take care of you.”

“You do? Why?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “cause I want to, why else?”

“I… I don’t deserve you, Leighton.”

“Oh, shut up. That’s not true,” she paused for a moment then said, “you’re my best friend and I love you.”

“I love you too…”

Leighton waited with you until you were taken back to be prepped and put to sleep for your wisdom teeth extraction. The last thing she said to you was, “I’ll have my camera ready for when you come out of the anesthesia!”

You stuck your tongue out at her angrily as you were whisked away and went unconscious while imagining seeing her face when you woke up again. 

You woke up in a different room, lying down flat on a recovery bed. You felt weird but not particularly bad.

Your vision came into focus slowly and the blonde was sitting in a chair beside the bed scrolling through her phone. You made a noise and she turned and looked at you, “hey there,” she said softly, sliding herself and the chair a little closer to you, “how are you feeling?”

Your mouth was all swollen and your head was all wrapped up with ice packs on either cheek. You mumbled, “fine.”

She smiled, “the dentist said everything went well so you should expect a pretty easy recovery.”

You nodded slowly then looked at her quizzically and mumbled, “do I look pretty?”

Leighton laughed, “do you look pretty? Well, I’ll admit that you’ve had better days but you’re still your gorgeous self, why?”

“I dunno… I thought maybe I wouldn’t be pretty anymore… all swollen…”

“You have nothing to worry about, trust me.”

“You’re so nice, Leighton… some people think you’re mean but you’re not mean you’re so nice… and you’re gay and I love that about you…” 

Leighton shook her head and laughed and just held your hand gently while you rested and came back to your senses over the next half hour or so. 

Leighton helped you to the car and let you lean against her on the drive back, then she helped you get comfy in your bed and made a little station nearby with drinks and foods that were safe for you to have, and pain meds if you needed them. 

She got into bed next to you and fired up Netflix before saying, “you can cuddle against me, whatever is comfy for you.” 

You nodded and said, “thank you, baby…” 

She raised an eyebrow at your word choice but didn’t say anything. You watched Netflix for a little while but you eventually dozed off against Leighton’s shoulder. You vaguely felt her playing with your hair and scratching your scalp lightly while you rested. You let out a pleased hum and cuddled against her even more closely. 

She gently woke you up later and quietly said, “I can hear your stomach growling, wanna eat something?” 

You took a second to process what she was saying but then you nodded and she grabbed a cup of applesauce for you. 

You took it happily and started to eat carefully, wincing slightly at the experience but feeling happy to have some food.

“You’re the best friend ever,” you began, “taking care of me like this… seeing me in such a pathetic state.” 

“I wouldn’t call you pathetic, not at all. You’re cute.” 

You groaned slightly.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurting?” 

You shook your head, “no, no… it’s nothing, nevermind.” 

She lightly poked you in the side and made you giggle, “come on, now. You can tell me anything. Is something wrong?” 

You were quiet for a minute, thinking. Overthinking. Playing your entire friendship with Leighton back in your head.

“I see those gears turning, what are you thinking about?” 

“I shouldn’t have asked you to take care of me,” you finally stated. 

Leighton looked concerned, “What? Why not? Am I bugging you?” 

“No!” You exclaimed, “no… you’re perfect… that’s the problem.” 

“I don’t understand…” 

“You’re so perfect. So perfect. And incredible. And beautiful. And I think I’m an idiot.” 

“An idiot? You’re not an idiot… I’m lost, babe, what is this about?” 

“I’m so stupid,” you sighed, “you’re never not going to see me as more than a friend are you?”

Leighton stared at you. 

“I don’t want to be cute,” you tried to explain, “I don’t want to be just cute to you… I want more… but I’ve gone and fucked it up…” 

Leighton started to understand and nodded slowly, “okay, first of all, I just want to state for the record that you have some pretty serious painkillers in your system right now, but with that being said, you haven’t fucked anything up… why would you think that?” 

You started to tear up, you couldn’t help it, “you’re never going to like me now… not after seeing me like this. I took too long trying to figure out my feelings…”

Leighton’s brows furrowed, “I like you plenty, this doesn’t change that… wait, what feelings?” 

“My feelings… for you… you’re my best friend, Leight… and I thought that was just how it was always going to be… but I think it’s more than that for me and I just didn’t realize and it’s too late…” 

Leighton took a deep breath in through her nose and spoke softly, “it’s not too late…” 

You looked up at her face and saw tears welling up in her eyes.

“It’s not too late,” she repeated, “not for you and me… I’ll wait for you forever. I’ve been waiting for you to be ready…” 

“Leighton… what?” 

“I love you, you incredible, oblivious sweetheart.” 

You were genuinely shocked, and your reaction was only amplified by how loopy you were feeling, “what?! You love me?! Like, love, love me?” 

Leighton laughed, “yes. I thought I was being obvious!” 

“You love me?!” You exclaimed again. 

Leighton wrapped her arms around you in a hug, “I love you. Are you trying to say that you have feelings for me, too?” 

“Yes! That’s what I’m trying to say… I love you, too, Leighton. I really love you. More than a friend. I want to kiss you and I want to be your girlfriend. I don’t want you to go on dates with anyone else. I want to cuddle with you every night. I want you.” 

Leighton’s smile was the biggest you’d ever seen it, “that’s what I want, too.”

You looked at her and then your face fell into a frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t kiss you!”

Leighton laughed lightly, “that’s okay. We’ll kiss when you’re all better, but for now…” she leaned in and gave you a kiss on your forehead, “there.”

You smiled and nuzzled against her, cuddling closely once again, and whispered, “I love you, Leighton.”

“I love you, too.”

[ivymarquis]

Say You Won’t Let Go

A Zombie Named Fred

Pairing| John Price x F!Single Mom!Reader Rating| E Word Count| 2.9k Kinks/Content/Warnings| Post Apocalypse!AU, Single Mom!verse, pregnant reader, the author is still on her bullshit about the pepperoncinis, they’re both a little crazy but it’s the end of the world, the author does not have first hand experience nor a formal education on pregnancy, John is giving soft dom vibes

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Not even 48 hours in and you’re having your first argument.

You can tell by his expression that you’re not giving him the expected response. However he’s clearly no shrinking violet and doesn’t cow to your anxiety-turning-agitation.

“I was only gone for a bit and you were asleep,” he defends himself, standing his ground.

You pry your gaze from the stash of goodies he very obviously acquired with you in mind, the wheels in your brain clearly turning as you decide how much effort this will warrant and if you’re willing to expend that effort.

You’ve been a loose, limp thing for him to drag around as he sees fit. No protests so far as he uses his teeth to scruff you.

“You didn’t even tell me! It’s dangerous out there- what if something had happened?”

“I’ve been in far worse situations, Love, I can assure you that. If I’d have told you last night would you have still gone to bed?”

No.

The apocalypse has taken societal norms and attachment styles and turned them on their heads with no hope for recovery.

This man is a complete stranger to you and yet he is firmly entrenched as the center of your social circle at the moment. You most assuredly would not have responded well last night.

Your silence is loud, giving away the answer entirely.

“I needed you safe, tucked away, and not fretting,” you can feel yourself being mollified against your will, softening back up despite your desire to still prickle in displeasure.

“We don’t know how long we’ll be here until it’s safe to leave,” he continues, “and you are in no condition to be traveling far- we need supplies stocked while the area is still mostly clear from the last herd wandering through.”

That is the one good thing about herds even if they’re an absolutely terrifying sight.

Lions and tigers and bears might be scary predators, but living predators aren’t mindless killing machines. They act in a reasonable way for their species. Leave them alone, don’t fuck with their offspring and don’t make yourself look like easy prey, and they will likely leave you alone.

Zombies? The virus eats away at any rational reasoning or need to sate an ingrained desire. They want to bite, to consume, to spread the virus.

So put together a group of several hundred or several thousand and they are the stuff nightmares are made of.

But if you survive a wave of them wandering through, they pick up any stragglers in an area. They’re gregarious, for whatever that’s worth.

Still terrifying though. The peace in knowing that the local zombie population drops drastically is knowing the price comes at more individuals being added to the herd.

In short, now is about as safe a time as ever to scavenge.

You’re still staring him down, still resisting acquiescing to him on principle.

Of course, there’s little doubt that the captain views your displeasure on par with a disgruntled kitten- yowling and hissing and batting at him but harmless and ineffective.

He steps towards you- close enough he makes you tilt your head to maintain eye contact. “You can just say “Thank you” and go enjoy your peppers, Love,” he asserts, offering you an easy out.

The thought crosses your mind to dig your heels in and be stubborn.

But just the mention of the jar of pepperoncinis placates you as your craving from yesterday returns in full force, pulling your attention away from John and to the jar sitting on the counter.

He’s got you hook, line, and sinker and he knows it too.

“Thank you,” you yield, once again becoming soft and pliant in his hold.

“You’re welcome,” he steps away then, eyes following your every move as you slip past him and do in fact beeline for the peppers.

It’s the end of the world- you can have peppers for breakfast if you want to.

The only problem though is you can’t get the damn jar open.

There are certain changes with your body that you expected with the discovery of your pregnancy- the swell of your belly and your breasts, the stretch marks that criss cross your skin- and some that you learned first hand and it’s annoying.

It’s your body starting to relax itself to prepare for labor, you were told. The tendons and ligaments relaxing. Hips widening.

It also makes your grip weaker which is so incredibly frustrating.

John is at your side in a moment, prompting you with a “Give it here,” to hand him the jar to twist the lid for you.

Any lingering surliness from the discovery of John’s midnight stroll abates entirely as the smell of the peppers hits your nose.

He looks pleased with himself, giving you back the jar as you thank him.

The rest of the day passes peacefully between the two of you. This is not a permanent home, so no renovations or improvements to be made. The biggest line of defense you have here is blending so well into the rest of the abandoned houses that nothing will draw unwanted attention. The windows covered and boarded. There’s no true perimeter to check. You don’t want to catch anyone’s eye by wandering around outside.

You’ve been on the move for so long, constantly fighting and scrapping that it is nice to just sit in one place. The preggie pops despite their silly name are a Godsend. You feel like a person for the first time in months rather than a vessel just waiting to vomit at the wrong provocation.

You get nosy, looking through photos and albums of the owners. The man’s name is Fred. The woman’s name is Wilma.

There’s a fucking lego set that Fred and Wilma never got around to opening. You alternate killing time between working on that and reading. You’re in no hurry, taking your time. John putters around doing something but swings back every so often to check on you.

Eventually you will need to sort laundry, but that can probably happen in a day or so and doesn’t need to be right now.

The water still works so you figure you can just wash your clothes in the sink and then hang them somewhere outside to dry. Simple, but will occupy some time and establish a sense of normal for you. Maybe you can find some sort of clothes line if there’s not one already.

Once again the sun sets and John comes to round you up for the night and herds you up the stairs. You settle into your bed and hear John getting ready over in his and yet despite the fact your pregnancy exhausts you, you can’t sleep.

Your ears are honed in for any sort of attempt on John’s end to sneak out again.

You try to quell the concern and anxiety coiling within you, but everything is a feedback loop just building intensity until you feel like you’re going to snap.

Sleep is a lost cause at this point.

Getting out of bed is a process so you’re not rendered immobile like a turtle on its back. It takes a moment but you manage on your own.

No sooner than you sneak out to the landing you have your answer if John is still in the house. It’s not obnoxiously loud, but you can clearly hear the sound of him snoring on the other side of his door.

Your anxiety quells with the knowledge that he’s still here but doesn’t dissipate entirely.

Not quite ready to return to bed, you decide that maybe a quick snack (something other than the pepperoncinis, the baby says) is in order.

Despite being a grown adult, there’s a part of you that feels akin to a teenager sneaking out of the house.

You are not going to leave. Unlike a certain captain, you don’t have a death wish sneaking out in the middle of the night. While the soft sound of his snores assure you that he’s still sleeping you know he’d be displeased knowing you’re about to venture down the stairs by yourself.

You’re careful- equal parts trying to avoid the parts of the stairs that squeak because you’re not sure how light a sleeper John is, and equal parts simply not wanting to eat shit on the stairs. God forbid you give his concerns credibility- you don’t even want to think about what he’d do.

You haven’t been downstairs after sunset since the first night you stumbled into the house. John rather jealously keeps you herded upstairs.

You contemplate what the baby wants for a midnight snack as you cross from the stairs through the living room and into the kitchen.

Chef Boyardee sounds appealing and you don’t care about eating it cold- which is a plus because it’s one less thing for you to do versus something you’d want to eat warm.

The quiet in the house gives you time to come up with stupid fucking ideas like looking out the windows.

By and large you have been leaving them alone. There hasn’t been any sort of conversation about it between you and John, but you feel you’ve got enough of a read on him by now.

The main defense you two have is that the neighborhood is abandoned and there’s nothing special about the outside of the house. If someone happens to be strolling by and sees you moving the curtains in broad daylight- well, that seems like a good way to get your ass chewed on by John. Hence why you’ve left the windows alone.

But it’s nighttime and you’re alone.

The windows at the front of the house are boarded up, but in a slapstick, hurried fashion- there’s large gaps you can peek through as you bring your opened can of ravioli.

The street is deserted which is exactly what you expect. Not so much as a zombie shuffling through.

The neighborhood seems like it was beautiful before the end of the world. The kind of place that you always fantasized about living in.

What a weird way to get what you want.

Your mind wanders, focusing on the practicality of the fact you need to wash your clothes.

When out in the wild and forced to survive how you can, you learned to make do with dirty clothes that were lived in far longer than you prefer. But if you’re going to be cooped up in the house until your little hostage evacuates, it would be a good idea to clean them.

Curious if the backyard already has a clothes line, you carefully peel back the curtain blocking the view-

Only to be greeted with the sight of a zombie standing on the back porch right on the other side of the glass.

Your startle reflex has been trained out of you. There’s no big yelp or jump or dropping your food. Making loud noises like that can get you killed in situations where you might be able to survive if you can sneak away unnoticed.

Safely on the other side of the glass and obstructed by darkness- the zombie cannot see, hear or smell you. He gives no reaction to you, clearly having no knowledge of your existence.

You realize rather quickly that this is Fred, albeit far more gray and decayed than in the photos of him in the house. You wonder what happened to Wilma.

(It’s the goddamn apocalypse so you know statistically what happened, but a macabre curiosity for the details eats at you)

It’s not often (re: ever) that you’re in a situation to just…observe the undead. Always keeping an eye on them, always keeping tabs on what currently holds their attention, but never just a passive observation. They’re always a threat and you’re always trying to figure out how to get by or through them unscathed.

The small flick of you moving the curtain might have initially caught Fred’s attention but without the confirmation that you’re a meal to be devoured he shuffles slowly and moves away from the glass.

He’s caught in the yard, confined by the perimeter fencing. No chance of joining the herd.

You wonder why John hasn’t killed Fred yet. A singular zombie isn’t much of a threat.

Maybe he hadn’t seen Fred? The curtains had been drawn shut when he picked this house and he just kept them that way?

Seems unlikely, but arguably plausible.

You don’t see any sort of established clothing line to dry your clothes after you wash them.

You’re so fascinated by the Fred situation that you’re oblivious to the fact that John’s snoring stops. Or his door opening. Or his pause at the landing, eyes falling to your open door. Or his descent down the stairs and the huff of relief when he lays eyes on you.

You are not oblivious to the way he snarls “What in the devil are you doing?”, closing the distance between the two of you to haul you away from the glass.

The drop of the curtain catches Fred’s attention again but not enough to do more than cast an eerie shadow as he approaches.

“Why is there a zombie in the backyard?!” You keep your voice low as you hiss at John despite acquiescing as he pulls you along back towards the stairs.

“He wasn’t worth the bullet but that was before I realized you were going to go opening doors in the middle of the night!”

“I wasn’t opening the door!” You protest, suddenly aware that this conversation isn’t entirely unlike this morning’s argument when John slipping out in the middle of the night had ruffled your feathers.

“Then what are you doing down here?” He stops at the foot of the stairs, his question answered as his eyes land on the can in your free hand.

“I was eating!” You hold up the can as a beacon of your innocence, not missing the way the agitation on John’s face softens ever so slightly.

You take advantage of the opportunity to pull your arm out of his grasp.

He doesn’t try to wrestle you back into his grip- satisfied with your reasoning and the confirmation you hadn’t gone bat shit insane trying to let zombies into the house in the middle of the night.

In another life, one where the dead stay dead, you think maybe you’d still be able to wrap the captain around your finger and make him fold to your whims as easily as you accept his.

You’re pretty sure, however, that it’s just your delicate state that’s got him yielding to you. That keeping you alive, and ultimately getting you and your baby back to this settlement that he and his group watches over gives a sense of purpose where he’s otherwise aimless, trapped like an animal in a vivarium until he can safely find his way back home.

“Go finish your food,” he tells you firmly- still far more subdued than moments ago.

Again, not unlike this morning when he diffused the argument then.

Both of you are still maintaining your ground, but finding a way to keep the peace- you’re all the other has got in this situation.

He hovers as you make your way back to the kitchen- the moonlit shadow of Fred gone from the curtains, implying he’s aimlessly wandering the yard.

You don’t have much left of it, which is a good thing because eating while being watched just feels weird. You know he wants to drag you by your scruff back up the stairs and situate you for the night.

And that’s exactly what he does after you quickly clean after yourself.

Always with him and the stairs, he guides you up while following behind.

Where he throws you for a loop is when you expect to slink off to your own room, only for you to find one of his arms wrapping around your torso and cutting you off from your intended destination.

“Need to make sure you don’t go sneaking off again,” is all the reason he gives as he herds you towards his bed.

He’s the one who started all this by leaving last night on his own, but you decide to not light that particular candle. You can admit to missing the comfort of sharing a bed, and that the nights have been getting colder as fall begins to give way to winter.

Before the end of the world, you’d be giving this a long hard think. But the rules are different now- the way you interact and mesh with people has changed so drastically. Everything is in the fast lane.

You’re utterly dependent on John. Been at his mercy for days. If he was going to do something, surely he would have done it by now?

So you yield to the arm pressing lightly at your side- a request that while stern is not escalating to a demand.

You let him guide you towards his room.

A wave of exhaustion hits that holds your interest more than the decor of the room- there’s no personal touches or stashes of goodies hidden away. You get yourself situated under John’s watchful eye, and yet somehow it feels weirdly intimate to watch him so you look off at the wall as he gets in.

John stays on his side between you and the door, you stay on yours and if he says anything you don’t hear it. One second you’re blinking at the wall and the next you’re out like a light.

[pablitogavii]

Cumple❤️

“Feliz cumple cuñadoo!!” Two little girls jumped in Pablo’s lap hugging him tightly and you giggled taking the photo they asked for.

“Ai cariño..look at the cake!” You show him his own pictures on the cake and Pablo smiled at you nodding his head trying a little bit of the frosting.

“Not before pictures chaval!” His mom said and all the women agreed while the med laughed at our silliness.

“Alright, let’s sing the song papi” Aurora said and everyone started singing to very red faced Pablo who didn’t particularly like being a center of attention.

After everyone’s applause, he was the first to break the silence “can I eat my cake now!?” He said as everyone laughed.

“Feliz cumple querido mio..Siempre mamás bebé” Belen kissed his cheeks smiling at Pablo who hugged her back.

“Mamá no estoy un bebé ahora! Tengo 20 años! Porfa” he said making everyone chuckle knowing he was always a mamas boy.

“Feliz hijo! Wishing you fast recovery and happy season” his dad said patting his head and kissing his forehead. It’s all Pablo wanted too..to return back home.

“Felicitaciones hermanito mío! Here is my gift..take your girl somewhere nice and enjoy the rest of summer” she said giving him two plane tickets she got for Greece.

“Ai hermana, you didn’t have to” he said and she shook her head pulling you close saying how happy she is her little brother found an angel.

“Feliz cumple Pablo!!” Everyone was heard as I slowly made my way to him and he smiled opening his arms for a hug.

“Now it’s my turn cariño..Feli cumple mi amor. I wish you the healthiest and happiest season and so much love..here is my present” you said into the huh as he kissed your forehead and played with your hair staring with you with big eyes.

“Te amo mi vida..y eso?” He said before slowly opening the box and seeing a bracelet with both of your initials.

“We can be together even when you travel..mine shines when you touch yours. So we know we are thinking of each other” you explain showing his and he smiled big pitting it on immediately.

“Que preciosos!” Belen was crying now and both of you hugged her.

“Te amo bastante..” he whispered leaning to kiss your lips while everyone whistled making you both shy. You hid your face in the crook of his neck.

“Gracias preciosa mía..tu eres mi regalo más precioso del mundo” he said and you smile cuddling into him before continuing to celebrate with his family.

That night when you were already in bed you looked at the precious picture of Pablo with the two girls smiling to yourself.

He was fresh out of shower looking at you while wearing his pajamas.

“Porque reíste tanto mi vida?” He said laying down and showing him the photo that made him smile.

“You look so good with them..and it made me think wild thoughts” you said growing shy.

“Wild thought preciosa?” He slid beside me pulling me on top of him as I giggled.

“Mhmm it made me want to give you a baby..so bad!” You admit making him smirk and kiss you passionately.

“Hmm I know…and I want that baby so bad right now but we’re young cariño” he said massaging your hips.

“So ya se..” you agree pointing and he kisses it

“One day..preciosa” he said and you smile into the kiss

“Me prometes?” You say and he nods kissing you more

“Te pomelo mi vida” he added before you fell asleep on top of his chest freaking about that future.

[dietpillsanddietcoke]

Eating Disorders F*cking Blow

I've been in the emergency room 3 times in a month for complications related to my eating disorder. My doctors are finally saying that treatment is necessary, but taking time off work feels impossible. Feeling hopeless and broken and wondering if things will ever be okay...

[butterflywannab3]

motivation&inspo

movies:

to the bone -> follows a young woman struggling with anorexia as she navigates her treatment in a group home, exploring the complexities of eating disorders and the path to recovery.

sharing the secret -> tells the poignant story of a teenage girl grappling with bulimia and her journey toward healing, while exploring the impact of her struggles on her family and friendships.

thirteen -> eating disorders are depicted as a response to the intense pressures of adolescence and peer influence, illustrating the protagonist's emotional turmoil and struggles for identity and control.

honey sickness -> follows a young woman grappling with the complexities of her relationship with food and body image, exploring the intersection of love, obsession, and the challenges of recovery from an eating disorder.

mean girls -> eating disorders are depicted through the pressures of social status and peer dynamics, particularly highlighting how the pursuit of popularity and acceptance can lead to unhealthy body image issues among teenage girls.

starving in suburbia -> centers on a teenage girl who becomes entangled in the dark world of an online pro-anorexia community, exploring the dangerous allure of eating disorders and the impact on her relationships and self-worth.

feed -> follows a high school girl coping with the aftermath of her twin brother's death, as she battles her own struggles with an eating disorder and the pressures of social media, all while uncovering dark secrets about their past.

black swan -> eating disorders are portrayed as a manifestation of the protagonist's obsessive drive for perfection and transformation, highlighting the extreme pressures of competition in the ballet world and the psychological turmoil that can accompany such intense aspirations.

little miss perfect -> the portrayal of an eating disorder highlights the intense pressures of perfectionism and societal expectations, showcasing how the protagonist's struggle with body image and self-acceptance impacts her relationships and mental health.

for the love of nancy -> poignantly addresses the struggles of anorexia as Nancy navigates the pressures of adolescence, family expectations, and self-acceptance, ultimately illustrating the profound impact of eating disorders on mental health and relationships.

perfect body -> the film powerfully depicts the harrowing journey of a young gymnast grappling with anorexia, illustrating the devastating effects of societal pressure and the pursuit of an idealized body on her mental and physical health.

tv shows:

skins -> Cassie's eating disorder in Skins serves as a poignant exploration of her struggles with identity, self-worth, and the desire for connection in a chaotic world.

red band society -> the depiction of an eating disorder through the character of Emma emphasizes the challenges of coping with illness, the quest for identity, and the desire for control in an unpredictable environment, while also exploring themes of friendship and resilience among the group of young patients.

insatiable -> the portrayal of eating disorders centers around themes of body image, societal pressure, and the desire for validation, as the protagonist grapples with her self-worth and the consequences of extreme dieting and binge eating, highlighting the complexities of modern beauty standards and personal transformation.

books:

wintergirls

paperweight

letting ana go

elena vanishing

the solitude of prime numbers

the art of starving

the trick of the light

im glad my mom died (not ed centered)

lost in the house of myself

what i lost

nothing tastes as good

shortfilm (youtube links):

skinny

a slippery slope

breathe

mia

obsession

let her eat cake

not enough

ana

bulimic

empty

almost there

am i pretty yet?

[minimomoe]

Fever n Frosting

here's a little sneak peak of something in my wips... Toji centered, ofc. fluff and whatnot

“Don’t look at it.”

“I don’t even know what I’m looking at.”

“God, it’s ugly, that’s why,” you cried out. 

It was a new week, new day. You have since gone back to work in good health. Your subordinates had left a plethora of messages and emails the days you were out, wishing for a speedy recovery as you have never missed a day of work since… well ever. The day after you packed your own lunch, smiling fondly at yourself at the nikujaga in your thermal cup that Toji had cooked. You loved it so much that you tried your hand in the kitchen. Baking, to be exact. You thought that it would be easier and wanted to surprise Toji the next time you saw him. You were horribly humbled by the deceptively easy food blog.

Toji stared at the cake on the countertop, and then stared some more. It was uneven for one, the left side much lower than the right. You put icing on it before it completely cooled and the pink sugar dripped down onto the table, exposing the yellow cake that laid beneath. Toji wasn’t sure how exactly he could tell, but it looked dense. 

“You don’t have to eat it—“

“I’m eating it,” Toji cut you off. You gave him a look of horror.

“I didn’t even ask you if you liked sweets! Spare me the embarrassment,” you squealed. 

“Nah, you made it for me. Might as well give it a taste,” he said. 

Toji ignored your pleas and rummaged through your cabinets for a plate and fork. He cut a hefty slice and held up the fork for you to taste first, which you profusely shook your head at. He then shrugged and shoved the fork in his mouth. Toji was quiet as he ate, only looking at you with little reaction. You held your breath as you waited for his verdict. 

“Are you sure you were trying to make a cake?” 

“Oh kill me now.” You threw your head in your hands. “Is it really that bad?”

Once again Toji held the fork up for you, gently nudging it on your lips. You opened your mouth, suddenly more embarrassed at the fact that he was feeding you than the failed baking experiment. He stared at your mouth while you stared at his face, noticing how his mouth slightly parted when he slipped the cake behind your teeth. His eyes flicked up to yours and you found it hard to chew. 

“Speak, woman.”

It was a dry, crumbly mess that wasn’t even sweet. Your eyebrows then flew up in realization for the odd taste. Once again, you wished the floor would open up and swallow you. 

“I forgot sugar,” you groaned. You groaned again, a long and exasperated one, resting your head on the countertop in hopes of expelling your failures. Unexpectedly, laughter fell onto your ears. You peeled off of the surface to gape at Toji and he was laughing, a genuine one, not the half chuckled he usually handed out that brought color to his face. It was a beautiful sight to bear that lifted your spirits a bit.

“It’s been a while since anybody made me something,” Toji said softly after he was done. The look on his face stirred something in you. Ruddy blush painted over his cheeks and the crows feet around his eyes deepened. “It’s not the best but trust me, I’ve eaten worse.” 

“I’m not too sure if that's a compliment. It certainly doesn’t make me feel any better.” 

What a lie. His words warmed your face. You shoved the wretched butterflies that wanted to dance in your stomach down by scooping icing up with your finger and eating it. 

“This doesn’t taste bad.” 

“Let me have some more,” Toji said, licking the remaining off of your finger. His hand wrapped around your waist and your wrist as he stood behind you, and your jaw tightened as you felt his tongue pad moved on your skin. “You’re right. I bet it’s store bought.” 

“Hush you,” you nervously giggled. He remained standing behind you, his body caging you to the countertop, eating his slice over your shoulder even when you told him you wouldn’t take it personally if he heaped the whole thing in the trash. He offered you bites every so often, and at the very last bite you accepted it. It was just as tasteless as the first, but when he cupped your chin to face him so he could kiss you, it was as sweet as could be. 

M.list || Twitter || Ao3

[smile-files]

object show dashboard simulator

2 notes

🛒shop-png Follow

i swear to cart if one more object tries to use me to buy their groceries i will explode

✂️ i-beat-paper Follow

um well maybe if you stop hanging out in the grocery store 24/7 folks won't use you like you're a regular shopping cart???

🛒shop-png Follow

dude i work at the grocery store. go outside and cut some grass

46 notes

🧩 fuzzypuzzle Follow

this week was soooo fun!!!

sunday: sat in a field

monday: sat in a field

tuesday: smiled at a bug

wednesday: sat in a field

thursday: sat in a field

friday: died :P

saturday: sat in a field

i hope all of you had a good week too <33

🪀 yay-for-yo-yo Follow

OMY same!!!! but i smiled at 2 bugs, not 1.

soooo happy to see you happy, puzzle piece!!!!!! :D

🪵 logrot23 Follow

hey sorry is this a mutuals only thing? or can i also talk about my week

🧩 fuzzypuzzle Follow

oh no worries, go ahead!!! :)

🪵 logrot23 Follow

i killed 17 people

21 notes

🍰 cake-at-stake Follow

lol you bfdi lovers WISH you had my url

🔥 fireyfan1 Follow

UGH

137 notes

❄️ fragile-snowflake Follow

what the flake is wrong with you people making thirst posts about fan. you know he's on here right?? he can see that

🥨 pretzelboy2008 Follow

who said i don't want him to see it? ;)

❄️ fragile-snowflake Follow

i will eat you

2,395 notes

🧍‍♂️theguy9348 Follow

Hey guys, I hope you're ready for my face reveal...

What do you think? I hope I don't look too ugly...

⚙️ machines-in-love Follow

EWWWW what's this thing doing on the object website???? for cog's sake, sending this guy to the TLC right now

💀 flamingskull Follow

haha op isn't it so funny that i'm a sentient version of your bones

202 notes

☢️ rad-positivity Follow

friends, remember that it's always okay to ask for a hug when you need one. you are valid and you are seen <3

🪥 toothteller Follow

okay maybe for me but if anyone gave you a hug they'd die. you're literally a biohazard

☢️ rad-positivity Follow

there's always recovery centers :) i'm just prioritizing my mental health <3

🪥 toothteller Follow

what is wrong with you? can we make out?

97 notes

🪭 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

now i know what it feels like to have... obsessive fans...

for totally unrelated reasons i won't be active on this blog for an unspecified amount of time :D

🌡fantubeshipper4life Follow

omga i bet it's cuz he's getting married!!!!!

🪭 inanimateinsanityfan Follow

kill yourself

5,873 notes

🧲 pozitive Follow

is it just me, or am i always drawn to pessimists?

[other positive charges DNI. i will block you]

13 notes

🍀 ii3clover Follow

tee hee :)

9,865 notes

🙂 smile-files Follow

💧bfb-teardrop Follow

:) ?

🙂 smile-files Follow

oh my goodness