#eating breakfast or not. i love ppl and their little habits so much.

[sualne]

every now and then i remember i can draw whatever i want

[coopers-hand]

your 6H and how you find comfort

TLDR: our 6H is responsible for our day to day lives, including our habits and routine. one thing about those is that through these repetitive actions people find the sense of familiarity, stability and comfort. the position of the ruler of this house will show you areas through which you may find this comfort❤️‍🩹 to gain more insight, look at the signs of both 6H and it’s ruler, as well as to your Moon and virgo-pisces axis! ٩(^‿^)۶

~ the position of your 6H ruler and how you find your sense of comfort

1H: pampering oneself, being pretty and comfy, and being well fed and having walked on their little walk, and their skin is moisturized and their nails are groomed — these people need to take care of themselves and their own body to feel comforted🍃

2H: those people may be the type of ppl that have their emotional support stuffed animal, or sweater, or coffee mug — anything, actually, that they can hold and touch and that has some physical weight to it. they may sleep with plushies and wear the same mittens their mom knitted for them centuries ago🧶☕️

3H: escaping to the books, movies, series, etc. — these ppl find the most comfort in stories and ways people share their thoughts with the world ✏️ so they may have their comfort piece of media that they keep coming back again and again

4H: sense of comfort is brought through the feeling of home and passed childhood. the perfume of their mother? that one sandwich they’ve been eating since they turned 5? that one pair of socks knitted by their grandma? you tell me 🥹 || I have my 6H ruler in here, and I find comfort in eating the same breakfast my mom was cooking for me when I was at school, so yeah…

5H: hobbies!! those people may be the ones that have been doing the same thing since childhood, like they’ve always been drawing with crayons, or collecting stickers, or crafting, or making little silly songs with their old electronic piano. they may find comfort in their old creative supplies, in their ancient watercolors they bought like in 7th grade, or in that one song that makes they soul dance itself out

6H: regime!! those people need to have their own familiar structure of life, even if this structure doesn’t make sense for everybody else. they need their morning walks, they need their sunday movie nights with that one person, they need to do this exact type of exercise bc it’s important for them and only they will get it.

7H: those people are about lifelong relationships, they may be one of the most devoted partners you can find. they find comfort in people they’ve been with since forever, they are feeling sure and good and comfy around their best friend that they’ve known for 20 years, that they’ve grown up with and that they share almost all of their life experiences with👭

8H: those people need their alone time. they need their sacred space, their little castle that nobody can invade and make them put on a human suit again. they find comfort in knowing that there’s completely no one around so that they can be so much and unapologetically alone and themselves.

9H: those people are the greatest optimists, that will not let the humanity destruct itself in the storm of hate and pessimism. those people always know that there’s hope, that the world is a good place to be in, that there’s joy and love and laughter and cool people and also little animals and big animals and flowers and so much more!! I love them so much omg sorry but those people literally save the world by finding their own sense of comfort😭

10H: another type of people that need the structure, but, on the contrary with 6H fellas, this is kind of an external structure. it may be a literal social institute that provides them with it (e.g. school, work, gym membership, language clubs??), or a kind of style of living that they accept to follow. those people may find comfort in knowing that they have their life together, in knowing what will happen tomorrow🏹

11H: those people crave the sense of belonging. they need to know that they are not alone in this world, that there’s at least another person on Earth that can say ‘hey! im here! I know how you feel’. the greatest sense of comfort for those people is knowing that they are understood.

12H: hello my lovely existentialists 🥰 for these people comfort may look like something unattainable, bc they are prone to existential dread every working day and holidays included. however, the sense of comfort is attained through daydreaming, sleeping and meditating — and also other 1000000 things that can be linked to sleep. I also have noticed that those people may need more sleep than others to stay healthy. so, remember — it’s not that the world hates you, maybe you just had very little sleep in the night💤

[thehusbandoden]

LOV x Gn!Reader With an Eating Disorder *platonic*!

Important message: I'm not very familiar with any type of eating disorder, so I apologize if I get something wrong or even trigger, insult, or upset anyone! I promise I wouldn't be trying to, and please reach out to me if so; so I can fix my mistake! <33

*Trigger Warnings!*: eating disorders, mentions of food and ppl trying to pressure you into eating, bullying, and a mention of murder. If I miss anything, please tell me! <3

General info:

Genre: fluff/comfort \\ wc: 694 \\ friendly reminder! For personal reasons, I do not write for Toga or Twice in any way, thank you for being so understanding and patient! <33 \\ Gender neutral reader + platonic relationships.

Requested! Couldn't find the exact wording, but they wanted a lov x reader platonically, where Shigaraki is like a father figure; and them reacting to you having an ed.

Dabi was the first one to notice it.

He viewed you as his little sister, and though he denied it; he cared about you. Which is what led him to discover your eating habits- well lack of eating.

It started off small. Missing a brunch here, and turning down a snack there. Nothing to cause concern.

But when you started making excuses for almost every meal- that's when he started to get worried.

When the rest of the leauge was eating breakfast you'd simply grab an apple, telling everyone that you "had stuff to do".

Okay, no big deal.

But when you skipped lunch, and hardly touched dinner? Dabi was now keeping his eyes on you.

And then it happened four times after that.

Dabi was quite upset.

He started having you sit next to him, staring at you to pressure you to eat something. He knew that it was kind of mean, but he just wanted you to stop losing weight. You were starting to look thinner every day- which scared him.

After a while of this and realizing it wasn't working, Dabi knew what he had to do.

After making sure you were out of the hide out, Dabi brought Shigaraki in a semi private place to discuss your poor health.

Shigaraki was furious and hurt.

Furious at Dabi for not tellin ghim for two weeks, and hurt that you wouldn't care for yourself properly.

Though you two weren't very far apart, he still saw you as a daughter; and needed you to be taken care of.

After devising a plan Shigarki and Dabi started to work to increasing your self esteem.

They would subtly compliment you every day, telling you how beautiful you were, and how much they love tolerated you.

((I'd just like to say that they would indeed love you, and that you are dearly loved in the real world. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, and if you need, or even just want to, I'm always here to chat about anything and everything (unless I say I'm uncomfortable with a certain subject, but you can always ask!) <33))

Your self esteem started to grow again, and they hoped that that was the end of the problem.

But you still weren't eating well, and that concerned them further.

Mr. Compress started to notice, and Spinner soon after.

Getting frustrated, Shigarki started having you eat with him, making sure that you ate at least a little bit.

After a while of you continuing to grow skinnier and skinnier, Shigarki lost it.

Pulling you into a comforting, warm hug he stroked your head before asking;

"Y/n/n, please tell me what's wrong with you. Gorgeous, you know you can tell me anything."

Sighing, you finally tell him how some pro heroines commented on your "weight" and how you grew self conscious. After a while of this agonizing feeling you decided to eat less and less to lose weight.

Honestly, Shigarki was angry. Really angry. Already planning on finding and murdering the scum that dared make you feel this way, Shigarki simply smiled down at you before pecking your forehead; much like a parent would.

"Y/n, my dear. You should have told me. I promise you, that you are the most beautiful person I've seen in my entire life. So please belive me when I say that you don't need to worry about loosing weight. I liked how you looked before, and though you do still look gorgeous- you look better healthy."

Tearing up, you clung to Shigarki as you sobbed, finally letting out all the pain and anger you've been holding back for the longest time.

After comforting you and making sure you ate, and got to bed, Shigarki went to tell Dabi about your conversation.

You were not prohibited from looking at the news for the next two and a half weeks.

~~~~~

Shigaraki's masterlist | Dabi's masterlist | Navigation

You can tip me here <3

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!! <33

~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[shootthemessenger]

all the fear and the fire of the end of the world [w.v. ; b.d.h.]

wilhemina venable x fem!reader x billie dean

requested: how about reader being possessive clingy sub with any combination of (at least two) wilhelmina, billie and/or cordelia, please? like reader asking for attention and them always giving it to her and making sure ppl know she is theirs, this is pretty much just fluff with no real plot

disclaimer: strong language, sexual nature

Nestled between Wilhemina and Billie is how you spent most of your mornings, afternoons, and nights. It had become such a habit for either of them to settle at your side and it was never long before the other followed.

Wilhemina had long since lifted the ban on PDA and fornication; driven mostly by her and Billie’s desire to hold you and show you off and also your fondness of touching them at all times.

So when you woke up, it was no surprise that you were cuddled between the two.

You were turned towards Billie, hand flush against the bare skin of her stomach and ear pressed into her chest just enough to hear the gentle hum of her heartbeat.

Wilhemina was behind you, front pressed into your back and arm slung around your waist. Her breath fell against the back of your neck and you shivered at the feeling.

Wilhemina twitched and you could hear her take a long and sharp breath as she began to wake up.

You turned excitedly, smiling before you even had the chance to meet her hooded eyes. “Good morning.” She smiled at you.

“Morning Mina.” You beamed, toying with a loose strand of her fiery red hair.

“Kiss me?” You pleaded to the taller woman, barely giving her time to open her eyes.

A small squeal left your open mouth when she pressed forward to connect her lips to yours. She hummed in delight before her hand found the dip in your waist and gripped it softly.

Your heart fluttered at the sound and you collected her face in your hands. She pulled you impossibly closer until your bodies meshed like two smoothed puzzle pieces finding their places.

“You two have to fuck so early in the morning?” Billie quipped sarcastically from behind you, causing a whole new smile to break out on your face. “We’re not fucking, B.”

Wilhemina huffed as her forehead settled against your chest, “And if we were you should have just let me enjoy it.” You laughed and pushed her away with a playful smirk before flipping yourself over and settling to sit on top of Billie’s hips.

“Wake up.” You hummed, kissing her collarbone with gentle lips as she glanced up at you with tired eyes. “Mmm, don’t wanna.” She mumbled tiredly, rubbing at her eyes.

You began to crawl off of the blonde and the bed entirely, coaxing a chorus of whines to fall from the lips of both of your girlfriends. “I have to get dressed.” You explained yourself, pushing off the bed.

You could feel two sets of eyes watching you in the candle light. You made a show of stretching the muscles in your naked body before turning your head to meet their gaze’s.

Billie’s eyes traveled along your figure as Wilhemina took her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Are you sure you don’t want to crawl back into bed with us?” The blonde prompted, eyebrow twitching up in suggestion.

“For a proper goodmorning?” You mused with an innocent bat of your eyes, already knowing what the two women had in store.

You giggled once again and looked at them from your wardrobe. “That does sound nice...” you began to toy with the idea.

They both groaned in annoyance as your flirting was cut off by a knock echoing from your bedroom door.

You quickly tied the purple robe around your waist and padded your way to the door before swinging it open.

A grey stood under your gaze, his demeanor faultering slightly. He began to blubber out a sentence, mumbling and stuttering as you watched his eyes fall onto what little skin was exposed on your chest.

You could feel a surge of warmth behind you before a hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you in protectively.

“Quit your stuttering and spit it out.” Wilhemina hissed as she pulled you behind her towering body which was now dressed in her own pale-purple robe.

The grey’s eyes left your chest to meet the harshness of Wilhemina’s glare, “Well?” She barked.

He finally shook himself clear of whatever was running through his head, “I-um. Breakfast, Ms. Venable.”

You could smell Billie’s perfume lingering behind you as a slender hand wrapped around your exposed thigh. Wilhemina began to smirk and Billie made a show of using your clothed form to shield her own naked one.

“Yes, we were just about to eat.” Wilhemina hummed with amusement, watching the young man’s face go ridiculously red before she closed the door without another word.

“That was inappropriate.” You teased, tongue peaking out between your smiling teeth.

Billie flipped you around and lifted you off the ground with ease before settling you on the end of the bed and kneeling onto the ground between your legs to kiss the inside of your thigh.

She hummed, eyes wandering up your body to meet yours. “It’s the truth.”

Wilhemina was eager to move onto the bed behind you, her lips easily finding your neck as you basked in the feeling of both women on either end of you.

Wilhemina used her thumb to guide your head to look at her before she kissed you. You whimpered and your thigh twitched underneath Billie’s open mouth.

Once again, a knock sounded from the door. “Fucking hell.” Billie hissed as she called out. “Go away!”

You began to protest both women moving away from your quivering body before you were sent a pointed look by Wilhemina, “Later, kitten.”

In the matter of a few short minutes, the three of you were scattering around the room and nearly ready for the day.

“That dress looks striking on you.” Billie mumbled her compliments as her eyes landed on you.

You shimmered under the light with a glow that forced a softness onto her heart, tugging at something deep within her.

She watched your every move closely as you shuffled around in front of the mirror to get ready. Moving towards you, her arms found the dip in your waist to pull your back against her front.

Her lips pursed, a soft sigh escaping her throat. She was intimidatingly tall as she stood behind you in her usual heels and met your eyes through the reflective glass.

“Thank you,” you turned your head to press a kiss to the warm skin on her cheek. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

Her fingers found the seam of your dress and danced along the edge, traveling towards your hips where she bunched the skirt of the dress forcefully which only caused a giggle to fall past your lips as she admired the newly-exposed skin of your thighs.

“We could always...stay in today.” Wilhemina interrupted suggestively, turning from her wardrobe as she finished off the last of the buttons on her dress.

Her shoulder was pressed against the side of the wardrobe, a smirk tugging at her lips when you craned your neck to meet her eyes.

You laughed, “Why are the both of you always so insistent on crawling back in bed?” You knew the answer, it had to do with the hungry looks in both of their eyes.

“We have an outpost to run.” You scolded gently as Wilhemina approached the both of you and shut you up with a gentle kiss to the base of your neck.

Billie sighed in defeat and moved from bunching the dress in her hands to gripping your hips with a bruising hold.

Wilhemina spoke once again, “But,” she whined with a mocking tone, “You do look delicious in that dress.”

You offered a delighted smile before pushing Billie away with your hips, “You’ll have time to admire me in this dress later.”

You ducked between the two women, using the edge of the bed as an anchor to slip on your heels.

You could hear Wilhemina whispering something along the lines of ‘or out of it’ before she moved back towards her dresser and, soon after, bid the both of you a goodbye to observe what the day would look like for the lot of you.

It wasn’t long after that you and Billie had joined her in the common room, settled on the couches as music echoed softly.

The other purples where scattered around the outpost, most of them in their respective rooms.

You had settled into a gentle position, your head in Billie’s lap and feet in Wilhemina’s.

Billie gently stroked your hair with her nails as you read the book in your hands, stopping every now and then to meet her soft brown eyes.

Every so often she would lean forward to press a kiss to your forehead and you’d smile at her lovingly.

Wilhemina, on the other hand, was listening rather intently to your reading of the book. She had always been fond of you reading to her. You could feel her slender fingers toying with the hem of your skirt.

“That’s the end.” You concluded as you closed the book and gently set it onto the coffee table beside you.

Wilhemina hummed, “We’ll have to get you another, yeah?” You nodded eagerly, carefully sitting up to face her.

You placed a quick peck to Wilhemina’s lips before settling yourself eagerly into Billie’s lap with your head against her shoulder.

Her hand traveled to your back, rubbing gentle circles. “Baby?” You hummed out, not bothering to move your face from the crook of her neck.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Her finger traveled under your shirt. “I love you.” You giggled.

You could feel Billie’s jaw flex against your head as she smiled, “I love you, sugar.”

Wilhemina’s hand came down to stroke up your thigh, nails grazing the warm skin. “What about me?” She mused, eyes glinting with playfulness.

You pushed forward and connected your lips to hers, despite the greys standing at attention around you.

Wilhemina let you, thumb stroking the crease of your hips. “I love you, Ms. Venable.”

She shivered and brought her hand to caress your face gently, “And you, my dear.”

Taglist: @mssallymckenna , @proudnlittle , @coxmicbabygirl , @sapphicpaulsxn , @its-soph-xx , @fand0m-obsess3d-g33k , @paulsonix , @madamevirgo , @kikaykimkim , @billiedeansbottom , @d14n4ol

[luminous-studiess]

I’m considering going into law as a career path but I’m not sure...do you have any insight or advice?

hi!!!!!  uh ok several thoughts coming from someone who struggled with “is this really what i want” before going into law school/the first three semesters. under the cut because this is LONG.

1. the first question you may want to ask yourself is whether or not you have enough interest (note: not passion.... more on that later) in law as a subject to study it for 3-4 years. are you updated on current events, both in your country, and abroad? do you have an idea of what law school in your country is like? why do you want to go into law? admittedly these are questions you yourself have to answer, to see if it really is worth it. the why is very important, because this may be the only thing that sustains you when you’re wading through coursework and dealing with scary professors and getting cold-called. if you think that it’s something you’d be interested enough in to put in admittedly a lot of time, emotion, and suffering into, then that’s great!! ok. this may tie into the next thing you have to ask yourself: 2. do you have an interest in/or are willing to learn the skills which are required in law school and beyond?  law students are required to read huge piles of text, be able to digest it, retain it, and then regurgitate it both in class discussions and in exams. this means that you need to at least be a diligent, patient reader, an efficient and clear writer, and a strong speaker.  in your later years, you will have to draft pleadings and memoranda. this requires extremely sharp writing skills, logic, research abilities, and (weirdly enough), organizational skills. you need the patience to make an argument for a client, usually crafted out of documents and legal provisions and mountains of cases.  you don’t have to be all these things right away-- my classmates and i, in our first semesters, had no idea what was going on, and nobody knew how to speak up when called without panicking or stammering or (in my case) nearly crying. but you learn those things in time. are you willing to put in the effort? then you can do it, absolutely. 3. are you ready for the lifestyle law school requires?  i’ll say this right away. it can be one of the most unhealthy environments you’ve ever been in. i’ve mentioned the heavy coursework-- it depends again on where you’re studying, but the course load can usually vary from 10-20 cases (say... 5 to 100 pages at most per case?) per class, plus a handful of laws and articles. you have to have read these -- skimmed, briefed, digested, taken notes -- and then be ready for class discussions, where you could get cold-called.  this entails pretty much an entire life which revolves around studying. it does get easier, and it does get lighter (in the sense that life does come back), but the first semester or so of law school will be completely about trying to chase every deadline, every requirement, and yes, every bit of sleep you can catch. the actual environment can be difficult as well-- in some law schools, the learning atmosphere can be tense, to say the least: the professors can be quite strict, if not downright harsh, and you can spend entire class sessions getting grilled through the socratic method, aka an endless barrage of questions you may not know the answer too. the culture shock coming in is pretty hard as well. suddenly, you’re grouped with so many brilliant, hard-working, eloquent people that it becomes easy to doubt yourself. from experience, law school took such a toll on my physical and mental health (poor sleep, poor eating habits, bad class performance and being afraid of the professors) that i was very close to quitting. however....... IT GETS BETTER. okay, hopefully, i haven’t scared you away. now make these considerations: 4. if you have a strong reason for wanting to go to law school, and getting through it, then even the hard parts become worthwhile. initially i wanted to go to law school because i was mildly intrigued by how i could use the speaking and writing skills i got from my college degree. after becoming quickly disillusioned by my first few weeks, i had to rethink why i would want to stay. one reason, admittedly, is that the promise of a well-paying job can keep you working through everything despite all the pain, suffering, and embarrasment. that sounds really covetous ngl but...... i once mentioned on this blog that i wanted to work in something i wasn’t extremely, wildly passionate about, so that i would have the money and security to fund my real passions. living, and living well is so expensive. not all of us can work in things we absolutely, completely love, so if there’s an opportunity to sustain yourself well, so that you can keep doing the things you like in the side, then it is an opportunity worth pursuing. another reason, at least for me, is that while one aspect of law and lawyering that most ppl see is the “jeff winger” “harvey specter” sleazy lawyer aspect, admittedly, a lot of the law is embedded in the things we do, and the rights we possess. if two people are fighting over a piece of land, they turn to the law to resolve it. if someone is being arrested without cause, then it’s the law that’s being disregarded. you do have the potential to help many people, just by your knowledge of basic civil rights, to some labor laws, to property rights. you don’t necessarily have to work pro bono all the time, but you can accrue enough knowledge to help individuals who don’t know the law as well, and as deeply as you could. and that in itself can keep you going-- you know that you could keep someone out of jail, or help them claim support, or protest unfair labor practices.  5. the journey can be more beautiful than you expect. ok this sounds like live, laugh, love bullcrap but to illustrate: i was completely afraid and lost during my first year of law school, but i had the total luck of becoming blockmates with smart, funny, kind people who became my family in law school. we studied together, went drinking at the end of the sem, had lunch and dinner and breakfast while reading and talking and fighting and teaching each other things. i know for a fact that some of these people will be my bridesmaids, and people i’ll contact for work, and to hang out with 10 years in the future. these people keep you going. as much as i mentioned terror professors, there are also the ones who taught so well, and gave me so much inspiration through the sheer passion they had for the law. there are professors who spend the entire day talking one-on-one to the students to check on how they are. i broke down in front of two professors after class in my first year-- the first one awkwardly comforted me, and the second pulled me into the faculty reading room to have a good, private cry. she handed me a tissue afterwards. you have the opportunity to learn from both brilliant and kind professors and fellow law students, and suddenly, things become a little easier. cases actually make sense. you know how to study for exams and how to speak up in class. you finally get 8 hours of sleep (i do tbh). you find a little to like about learning each and every day. so, in short-- law school is brutal, and it can be unmerciful. but you don’t need to be smart to get through: just be a little interested, very hard-working, and have a lot of grit. please let me know how you’re doing, friend! good luck.

[normal-thoughts-official]

I think both Magnus and Alec have a big part of their lifes that have nothing to do with eachother. Okey, they are happily married and the live together but anyway... What about their hobbies? What about their own personal projects? Friends/queerplatonic relationships? I want to know who they are, besides of great politic leaders or someone's husband

i mean, i agree. i hate it when ppl reduce magnus and alec to malec or just generally care more about the romantic relationships than the other ones, nevermind bothering to develop other aspects of their lives that are just... theirs

to be fair i feel like we got a reasonable amount of that for them (for shadowhunter’s standarts of giving us content anyway). i mean, less for alec but that kinda makes sense considering that he’s spent most of his life avoiding any kind of close relationships that weren’t with his siblings like the plague and generally being, like, raised in a military based society with the weight of the world on his shoulders and also gay. but i totally agree that we should have gotten more of him getting out of his shell and finding hobbies and friends beyond just a romantic relationship. and for magnus, well, we know that he likes physics and science and studying magic as a whole, and dancing, and we know about his friends aka catarina and ragnor and raphael and dot, we know about his found family and his club and that he likes parties and good food and drinks, travelling, and meeting new people and cultures. you know?

but anyway, other headcanons with little things about their lives:

alec is totally the workout gay who likes fucking, idk jogging every morning and shit, and for some reason i can see him being into mountain climbing???? and magnus is like No Thank You. I Will Do Literally Anything Else because yikes the amount of effort and sweat and it’s just generally unpleasant. magnus is far from being sedentary, but also, no. yikes

he’s more into taking long walks in nice places and admiring the view and shit like that and he’s all like “isn’t it great? :)” and alec is like “haha yeah how far are we” because he’s just... goal-oriented and when he’s doing sports he likes to have a clear goal, something to achieve, or to push himself to his limits and all that bullcrap. while magnus likes to do it for the sake of doing it and enjoying himself and getting in contact with his own body & mind & soul and shit. they find some sort of enjoyment in it with the way alec always makes magnus laugh with his grumpiness + inability to truly understand what this whole thing is about + just general himboness, but as a whole, magnus likes to take his walks alone, so he can get that space for himself. and he’s definitely not joining in when alec is doing his weird sportsman training gimmick whatever-thing, either

same with tai-chi! magnus tried to get alec into it (altho somewhat awkwardly since magnus does magical tai chi and alec very much does not have magic) but it just, didn’t work out. one second into it and alec was already making that painfully concentrated face and he’s stiff as a board and it’s the opposite of what it’s supposed to be and magnus breaks down laughing and alec is all offended and they just can’t get past a few seconds and end up giving up. alec is the bitch who sits down to medidate and is immediately like BOY I AM GONNA GET IN TOUCH WITH MY INNER SELF SO FAST AND HARD FUCKING WATCH ME I’M GONNA BE THE BEST MEDIDATOR THIS SIDE OF THE PACIFIC FUCKING OOHMMM BITCH. introspective arts are just not for him

i like to think that alec gets closer to aline, and i can see him and helen hitting it off, too. like seriously guys let alec have friends who aren’t just magnus’ friends (and let magnus have friends that are HIS friends, too)

i know underhill is implied to become his friend but also, like..... he’s so boring i just can’t have any hcs for them as friends daoijsdaiouja i think they have more of a solidarity, nodding when walking past each other in the halls thing than actual friendship you know

obviously there’s alec’s siblings as he will always be the one izzy loves the most and she will always be one of the most important people for him, and even as magnus and izzy totally are friends too, she is still alec’s sister and they make it a point to see each other, just the two of them, at least once a week. izzy always smiles and loops her arm through his and alec’s immediately huffing but he loves it and she knows that he loves it. she was like, his only source of physical contact for so long, and god he really needed it and he loved her for giving it to him even as he pretended it was something he hated. neither of them want to shake that habit, so it stays

but there’s also a particular brand of friendship magnus has with her that alec doesn’t. like when they get all weird about dead bodies or go shopping? alec’s out 

magnus does a lot of studying (mostly languages, physics, and chemistry, as well as magic) so he has his own study room (plus the apothecary) that’s a whole damn mess filled with books and notes scattered around and shit and alec is not allowed in because he always wants to organize it and GOD FUCKING DAMN IT IT’S NOT DISORGANIZED I KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING’S SUPPOSED TO BE and if alec moves a single pen, magnus Will Know About It

in exchange he always keeps the door closed or spelled so alec doesn’t have to look at it

obviously there’s archery, which is something alec loves to do and practice, especially as he starts to get more into the bureaucratic parts of shadowhunting. he needs his bow and arrow to feel connected to himself and his body and safe, and he also has his own practicing room. magnus can do archery fine, but it’s not really among his interests

magnus of course has his regular meetings with the immortal squad and his breakfasts with raphael :) not that raphael isn’t part of the immortal squad but they also enjoy having a time just for the two of them. they are father and son after all, and besides, they lived together for quite a while, and the dynamics of them versus them + ragnor + cat are different

while magnus loves taking alec with him in his trips and to art galleries and out to eat in great restaurants and shit, they both know it’s something that alec, while very curious to know about, does not appreciate the same way that he does. not more or less, just, differently. if they go to an art gallery, magnus is gonna be looking at every piece and musing and maybe talking about the painters of x and y movement that he knew, and analyzing the technique or whatever. alec is less interested in the paintings themselves and more in the artists, what their life was like, what the period/place they lived in was like, how that shaped their art, you know? like he’s just not a very visual person haha me projecting never so what interests him is more outside of the paintings than inside. so even when they go to these places together, they’re just having completely different experiences? and a lot of the time they end up straying and meeting each other later, where they’ll chat and generally be ridiculous. but the both of them also enjoy going to those on their own or with their friends who Get It, you know? because again just completely different rhythms and interests and stuff

i feel like they both enjoy trashy television, but like, in completely different ways? like magnus loves him a terrible sitcom even if he’ll never admit it, where alec is more into like..... really bad and dramatic mystery shows

they both enjoy watching reality shows though. magnus wasn’t that huge on it before, but with alec? man, that’s a riot. he’ll judge absolutely everyone and make faces and just generally be fucking hilarious

ok i know that i’m talking about things they do together but my goal here is to talk about like... who they are and what their interests are individually, even if they are together, you know? and not like, As An Unit

magnus loves music and recitals and dance shows of all kinds. also, street art! i feel like that’s something him, cat, and maia have in common

speaking of cat; there are always His Cats. like sure they like alec fine but as soon as magnus is home they all immediately flock to him. it’s like alec never existed. goodbye, tall person

tbh i feel like raphael is totally an animals person and soon the dumort kind of turns into like, a sort of animal shelter? like magnus gives him the idea and all the vampires are naturally drawn to the idea of the dumort becoming a place for the strays of the world, especially if it means they get some company.... and maybe warm cuddles. anyway, my point is, magnus loves to visit the dumort and play with the cats and dogs that are there from time to time and he’s so proud of raphael and what he’s doing with the place and i just aaa :’) 

i feel like alec would have an interest in technology? like he’d be that bitch who Knows tech (probably started because of his job, but soon he found that he like, actually has an interest in it?) and who cleans his keyboard every day and only gets licensed programmes and takes care of his laptop like those guys who are weird about cars

lmao for some reason i can totally picture him and aline bonding over that? 

oh man alec would be into PUZZLES. word puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, the whole grandpa shit. he doesn’t do it often but when he does, he’s just At It. him and madzie can play with jigsaw puzzles for hours and wouldn’t remember to eat. she visits one day and is like I Got A 3D Puzzle and alec is just like neat! and they just sit down and do it until they have to be forced to bed or something. then at like precisely 6AM their eyes snap open like It’s A New Day, Puzzle Time and it just keeps being like this until they’re done

also there’s magnus’ morning routine, of course, especially since he doesn’t really have a schedule, and as sociable as he is he does enjoy some alone time to make himself some breakfast, do some tai chi, maybe read a book or comic, and all that. alec is just snoring the whole time completely passed out when it’s not a work day, tbh

okay that’s all i have actually doasdiad i hope it isn’t too much or disappointing or whatever. also, if anyone else wants to add their own headcanons for alec’s and magnus’ hobbies, feel free to do so :)

[hey-haven]

Aaah, I really like that you have your own unique take on how you draw the DN characters (like how your Matsuda is p tall and L is more androgynous and stuff)... i always think it's great when ppl take liberties with character designs like that, so if you want can you maybe talk some more abt your headcanons for the characters? Like for example how you see their height/bodies/small imperfections and so on? Sorry if the question is phrased weird, English isn't my first language hhh ^^''

I’m so glad you like my little design changes! Normally when it comes to small details, like a character’s height, I don’t really follow canon and just do my own thing. It’s more fun that way. The biggest changes are more prevalent in my AUs cause that’s where I constantly throw canon out the window, but I’ll try to be more general here. And of course I have headcanons, I always do!

Light

- Honestly, I always make Light the most conventually attractive out of the group.

-He’s fairly lean and actually pretty athletic what with playing tennis and all that.

- But he has the worst eating habits (other than L). He eats junky snacks all the time like chips or candy, and he often skips out on important meals like breakfast and dinner. He feels lucky for having such high motsbolism.

-He has a scar on his right eyebrow cause a cat that Sayu brought home once didn’t like him very much. (A literal cat scratch if you will).

-There’s a birthmark on the left side of his neck that kind of resembles a crown.

-Because I’m a prideful Mexican, I headcanon Light as Japanese/Puerto Rican

L:

- I tend to make L much shorter, like 5’7, than in canon. I don’t know why. I think it’s because I simply think it’s cute to have him be a tad shorter than most characters other than Misa.

-L is very thin and scrawny. He doesn’t have any upper body strength but it’s made up with his fighting techniques and core strength.

-I love the idea of him being a fast runner. When he was a kid at Wammy’s the kids would race him in hopes of someone finally beating him. It never happened. He doesn’t have a lot of endurance, however, and gets tired very quickly.

-He has a mole on the side of his nose in reference to his actor in the live action films having one in the exact same spot.

- I also gave him a tooth gap because I have one, and L is the character I hardcore self project onto all the time. (Also the reason I make him nonbinary)

-Once again, because I’m a prideful Mexican, I headcanon L as Japanese/Cuban.

Misa:

- Misa is chubby, plain and simple. I always try to make her look a bit thicker than how the other girls look in Death Note.

-I gave her heterochromia cause I noticed an inconsistency in the show itself. Some scenes had her with blue eyes, others with brown, so I went with both.

- I personally believe Misa isn’t a real blonde. Her hair is naturally a light brown, but she wanted to stand out more so she dyed it.

- Misa is transgender, and she started transitioning when she was 16. I like to think she completed her transition around the start of the series.

- She gets light freckles around her nose when she’s out in the sun a lot. She gets very self conscious about them, so she always covers it up with makeup.

Matsuda:

-As you said, Matsuda is a tall boy. He’s tall and awkaward and clumsy and I love him!

- Like with Misa, I try to make Matsuda a bit thicker compared to characters like Light and L who are both very thin.

-I like to think he was an energetic kid who did a lot of sports from gymnastic to baseball to archery. Because of that he’s very athletic and healthy. (And strong. He got them musclessssss)

-MATSUDA 👏 HAS 👏 FRECKLES (and you bet L enjoys kissing them!!!)

- His body is littered with small scars. Not because of anything bad. He was just a clumsy kid who played outside a lot, so he ended up with a lot of cuts and bruises.

-He easily tans in the sun, so expect a lovely complexion and strong tan lines.

[furymint]

Pros/Cons of Dating Meme

“Call my name, and I think my world would unravel to its knees. I could not stop myself. I would abandon mine honor all and come.”

PROS

entirely devoted--he will attempt anything p much anything for u, will beat ppl up or carry ur things, but initially knows more of how to worship than to love. hope u dont mind pedestals and self sacrifice till he chills out

he prefers to relax at home or go to familiar places rather than do new things. he likes to be at least in the same room or to be physically close--he likes to cuddle. also more of an active person so sports are fun or just (ironically) going out to Nature rather than society

he's a good listener and usually doesn't forget things. he also never breaks a promise and never lies

undemanding. he doesn’t like spending money or when ppl spent it on him. just spend time w him, touch his hair, and give him hot chocolate and he's set. he's more high maintenance emotionally than anything else what w all that war stuff (which is a lot on its own to deal w)

CONS

off stabbing dragons (or garleans, i guess) 90% of the time so i hope u like writing letters if ur not a knight or alliance soldier

until he smooths out, he requires a bit of walking on eggshells for his brain to not crash into nothingness or anger. some of his triggers are hit or miss. u have to learn how to deal w these things together

soooo stubborn. holds grudges. also closed-minded. his habits n ideas need to be eroded over time--he almost never changes his mind overnight

skittish. sometimes it can take him some build up to say what he's thinking.he also clams up in public so pda is mostly no-go for a while

DEPENDS

in general he's a rly passionate person who feels p deeply, but away from home he's very conceal dont feel. sometimes he can have seemingly random but intense bursts of admiration or crying

hes a v private person so he wouldn't like. tell the whole of ishgard hes in love w u. that said, he’s not being Secretive--he’ll talk sometimes if someone asks. to some ppl his affections might be obvs

eli n tags under the cut!

"Damn the war. Damn the world and its heavens and hells. I want one person. With or without the gods, I will have him--if he will have me."

PROS

will do anything for ur benefit even if u dont want him to. he's a bit better than Nol with the worship > love thing, but beware of pedestals again.

patient, consistent, hardworking, n forgiving. will not give up on anyone he loves. will be ur biggest fan. ride or die for u

excitable, doesnt mind being loud but can be quiet for long stretches, likes to talk, go places where u can be seen, Always wants to go out to breakfast, doesn’t like outdoors-y things (no camping no bugs)

$$$ n not afraid to spend it, will p much buy u whatever u want or better. he likes giving gifts. he treasures w/e he gets in return even if it’s smth little and he never forgets favors

CONS

dramatic and a bit high-strung. he's also considerate and generally self-aware, so he wont do smth stupid (usually) if its not the time for it. he feels v deeply tho, so a good portion of his dramatics are just his unfiltered feelings

v observant but also nosy. will notice if smth is wrong, and even if he doesn't ask why, he will be constantly looking for the reason. he thinks hes clever n manipulative in this way, but he's not rly much of either

has a metric ton of expectations for love that need to be altered n broken down to be realistic, and can easily fall in love w the idea of a person over true life

he doesnt like to be alone so he'll constantly want to hang out, which will spoil him. dont spoil him. he'd get overdependent n prob annoying abt it

DEPENDS

u gotta go to social gatherings. brush up on ur parlor games and dont forget which aunt is blackmailing what cousin. but u get to dance n eat nice food

Loves That Romantic Shit. roses, poems, sunsets, candles, u name it, he wants it. valentiones is religious observance he will not stop reading keats. he will sob at every sappy romance movie. no he will not change.

these were fun to think abt between classes! i saw @thebeauregardbros do it n theirs made me laugh so i wanted to try

tagging @aethernoise @kukurubean (dont do rothe if itll hurt u lmao) @endangered-liaison @norhimorovine @the-rosehouse @the-wardens-torch

[agentromancff-blog]

⎣ elena satine, cisfemale, she/her ⎤I just saw [ NATASHA ROMANOFF ] walking around new york. they’re [ 112/LOOKS LIKE 30ish ] years old and go by [ BLACK WIDOW ]. they had kids with [ MARIA HILL ] and I’ve heard they’re [ IN A CIVIL PARTNERSHIP ]. they’re also [ AN AGENT OF SHIELD ]. at their best they’re [ STRATEGIC & INTREPID ] but at their worst they can be [ MANIPULATIVE & CIRCUMSPECT ]. ( ty, she/her, 21, est )

{ trigger warnings : mentions/implications of death, abuse, alcoholism, violence/murder, pregnancy, hospitals, war, & mental illness }

last intro for the day. im sure everyone knows the loml aka natasha romanoff so i tried to keep this mostly headcanon & relevant information based~ 

ABOUT NAT //

because im very upset about what the mceu did to my poor baby,,,, they did her DIRTY guys,,,,, my nat is much more heavily influenced by the comics

this means shes much more of a hardened, elite super spy, more cold and callous, etc... 

so here’s a brief recap of my version of nat’s backstory that i’ll be using: 

it’s sort of a combination of both origin stories. 

so i imagine. 

shes related to the last ruling czars of russian

when the place she was living in caught fire, her mother tossed her out the window and ivan caught her. he raised her as his foster daughter. he turned her over to the red room and she was raised & trained by them

she has false memories conditioned into her mind through psychoactive drugs, conditioning videos, hypnosis, and torture, of her cover story outside of the red room. aka as a dancer for bolshoi theatre. but she also learned ballet in the red room. 

after her red room training was complete, natasha worked for the KGB and was set up in an arranged marriage with her first late husband, alexi

she was told her husband died in a rocket crash, and donned for herself the alias black widow

it’s later revealed that all this happened when she was very young, natasha left at some point and married her second husband on a battlefield at war. where she confessed to being pregnant. she gave birth to her baby on the battlefield, rose, who was born a stillborn because of the serum and experiments that altered natashas physiology and rendered her incapable of having children 

her life’s been a constant string of. getting Fuckt Over by people. ivan at some point attempts to seduce her, plants nanites in her that spread to every person she touched, then every person they touched, and turned them into merciless monsters who started beating each other to death. shes been brainwashed by her masters countless times. and i mean,,, her entire training as a child revolved around her growing up to be a seductress and assassin which,,, okay nat. my poor baby. 

she tries very hard to be better. but at the same time she’s still,,, she does really shady shit sometimes i mean,,, she surgically removed her face and swapped it with yelena belovas,,, to give the woman a mental breakdown and convince her that shes natasha,,,,

soooooo here’s more about where i see her personality wise and where shes at in life rn:

if anyones read the 2019 Black Widow series, thats a pretty good indication of the kind of natasha romanoff i’ll be writing 

i listed her as cisfemale but ive always headcanoned that natasha would love the opportunity to explore gender in a more diverse way, ideally as a more genderfluid character, since she’s constantly had femininity shoved down her throat and was forced to weaponize it. but it’d take being around the right people and being in the right environment where she was comfortable to let down those walls. aka. might take a hella long time so it’s probably something i’ll explore with her in the future 

canonically natashas gone off to fight rebels in wars when she’s needed someplace to get out her black widow training and conditioning and murder impulse. i hc that she probably falls off the grid and goes to war every now and then to fight. it’s hard to have a family when she’s constantly fighting her conditioning and trying to repress her innate instincts to kill. between nat and maria, nat was,,, oddly enough probably the more absent parent of the two 

nat loves motorcycles. and guns. she also has a bad habit of stealing everyones clothes because she rarely wears anything of her own 

she has an issue with attachment. to the point she literally refused to admit she was adopting her cat, liho. but she’s started making an effort for maria and her family’s sake -- though she hates feeling like she has attachments to things/things that can be used against her. so she gets kind of. weird about it sometimes. 

no one knows about rose or her marriage save for a handful of people -- aka someone who had found out about it and blackmailed her with it. aka the daughter of the person who helped her deliver the baby on the battlefield. nat is also really weird with babies for this reason. 

my nat is an alcoholic. she’ll never admit it though. in the comics she drinks,,, every day. every time that she comes home from an assignment, she drinks. usually its wine but she’ll often go for harder stuff (typically russian stuff) when wine isn’t enough. 

it’s very rarely depicted in the comics (likely because she covers it up with sfx makeup) but nat has a red room tattoo on her left shoulder. she cant bring herself to remove it, because she wears her black widow name also like a badge of pride. she’s reclaimed everything that’s happened to her -- that tattoo is no different 

nat very rarely wears jackets. she doesnt need to. she got used to training in the bitter russian winter wearing next to nothing -- she’s very acclimated to the cold. 

she has flashbacks, particularly pregnancy related. also canon in the comics -- when she got injured in her stomach she had a ptsd episode of her stillbirth 

similar to my hc about her gender tho natasha hates bra shopping and hates bras in general. unless theyre sports bras. she finds them so uncomfortable and will only really wear them with the intention of seducing someone

i think the most important aspect of my nat tho is that she never does anything for just one reason. it could be the most simple action like. eating eggs for breakfast. but theres going to be a million and one explanations for why she specifically to eat x amount of eggs cooked x way on x day at x time for x meal. this is even more evident in relationships. sure, she does things out of the “goodness of her heart” but there’s always going to be ulterior (not necessarily malicious tho) motives to it, too. nothing is ever just. surface level with her. 

oh yeah shes also the worst person (or best depending on your perspective) person to bring to a party i mean,,, playing truth or dare? ur Fuckt. playing card games? look at that Poker Face n her ability to read people. playing board games? say hello to a master tactician who also happens to be a perfectionist overachiever and one of the most competitive ppl in the world thx

anyways thanks for reading all my rambles about my little murder baby aka the actual love of my life. i’ll probably remember more headcanons as time goes on. but thats all i can think of at the moment!! so yesss i cant wait to bring my murder baby to you to awkwardly and anti-socially love you all in her own way.  

[orihharas]

do literally all the questions for ari

 i fuckin hate u but okay

under the cut tho

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

-the name kiara was stuck in my head and even tho it’s p fem i liked it for a boy character. ari is just his cute lil nickname

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

-he’s pretty worried about being a good leader. considering he’s the swim team captain he’s worried he’s not a strong leader. he’s never been very vocal or aggressive and he’s afraid that makes him appear weak to his teammates

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?

-he thinks his eyes are pretty! he’s also very proud of his body. he’s very athletic and well trained so he’s happy with the results of that, his arms most specifically

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

-HE LOVES CAE’S FRECKLES. cae’s freckles are like stars and they make him so sweet lookin. he wants to count them all and fall in love with each part of cae all over again. he loves the way cae analyzes things and he makes everything seem so logical and easy to understand. it helps ari process when they study together, cae is a good teacher

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?

-ari is def a shy type. it takes him a little bit to feel more confident. but once he feels better he’ll get more daring, but he’s usually soft and gentle. he doesn’t like being rough

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

-not really, he’s got normal hobbies. he’s very invested in his doggo so he does everything with him, but i’m p sure cae finds that cute

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

-he sighs a lot, mostly because he sometimes forgets to breathe normally outside of the swimming pool.

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

-he is an overthinker. he thinks so far ahead that he starts to assume things before they even get a chance to play out. he’s constantly worried about things he’s done or said and feels the need to make up for it. he is not super aware of it

09. Do they have a favorite season? What about a favorite holiday?

-summer time!! more swimming to be had!! he has no favorite holiday, any one he can spend w his family and bf

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

-i’d say he’s p masculine

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

-uuhhhhhhh probs bad mouthing his family, cae, or his dog

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

-his swimming ability for sure. he’s an average student and often feels his athleticism is all he has

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

-HE BITES HIS NAILS SO MUCH. GET UR FINGERS OUTTA UR MOUTH BOY!!!

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

-he lives with his mom, dad, and lil sis! oh and his doggo. he loves his family a lot and they’re super close. he’s especially close w his sis

15. Is there a certain person in this world that they cannot stand? The very mention of this person’s name makes them tremble with anger or fear.

- he’s a v tolerant person so there’s no one. he can stand most ppl even if they made him mad. he does seems to get a lil tense around anyone who has had problems w cae or his lil sis

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

-ATHELETIC AF BOIII. he’s good at any endurance sport but swimming most specifically. he did track for awhile too

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

-he wold totes love to marry cae and have babies (if cae wanted that too)

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

-ari is a small town guy. he wants to live in a cute town, maybe some place by the beach. a house big enough for him and cae to live in with their dogs and enough space for family to visit. something that’s modest but stylish

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?

-he’s not one to fight but can if pushed too much. he can argue but isn’t too confident in his abilities to fight physically despite his athleticism

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

-ARI LOVES DOGS!! all dogs and any dog. he loves them all. he wants to own one million dogs. he enjoys cats and birds too but... dogs. they are the best for sure.

21. What is one of your character’s biggest fears? How would they react when dealing with this fear?

-he’s a bit claustrophobic and tends to get anxious in elevators or bathroom stalls. he doesn’t freak out but it certainly makes him anxious. other than that he has no real big fears.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

-his hair is an odd shade of black, it almost looks blue in some lighting but that’s about it. his eyes are a weird brown that makes them look gold almost

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?

-he is a very good boy and is well behaved in class. he sucks at science and math and does well in other subjects. he has a hard time studying because it’s not very physical so he tends to drop off studying so he can run or swim

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

-”caelen is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i feel really lucky knowing he loves me as much as he does. he’s perfect”

25. Is there something traumatic from your character’s past that greatly affects them even to this day?

-nope, ari has never had anything traumatic happen to him. he’s lived a scare free life so far

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

-cae is an easy to please lover, he doesn’t need much in terms of sexual stuff. he’s fine with gentle sex so they’re both very compatible. ari really has no complaints. he loves everything about cae

27. If your character was going to get arrested, what would be the most likely reason for it?

-stole all the animals from the shelter so he could look after them

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

-swimming!! and probably his animal rights activism

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

-he broke up a verbal fight between cae and his ex. he also got in a fist fight w someone for bullying his sister.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

-ari’s guilty pleasure is country music, but he listens to anything. he likes all films but is not the biggest fan of horror, cheap jump scares are so boring

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?

-ABSOLUTELY NOT

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

-stargazing on a summer night during a camping session. ari points out all the constellations he knows and kisses cae every time he asks

33. If your character wanted to be alone, where would they go?

-arti locks himself in his room with his doggo. he will hide in his bed sheets if he’s really needing to be alone

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

-ari will eat just about anything and he loves all breakfast food. his favorite food is his mom’s homemmade french toast

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?

-he isn’t scared of it necessarily, it just makes him uneasy. he would like to pass away in his sleep.

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

-he has no medical conditions. though he has broken a few bones and torn a muscle before from over working himself in his training

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

-he hates people who chew gum loudly. he wants to punch anyone that chews gum loudly.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

-ari likes sunny weather, but prefers when it’s mild and not blistering hot

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?

-they would assume he is a strong lookin jock who is pretty serious. the jock side is true, however he is not serious. he is very soft

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

-I SAID IT EARLIER BUT COUNTRY MUSIC

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

-ari’s family is super supportive of him so they are an extremely positive influence on him.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

-he always wishes he studied more so he could get better scholarships for college. he hates being the stereotype jock that is all brawn and little brain

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

-cae and his lil sister see the darker sides of ari, the ones that are more anxious and sad. he’s usually cheery but lets himself be vulnerable around his bf and sis.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

-if his dog ever got killed in an accident or anything harmful happening to his family and cae

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

-ari def wears his heart on his sleeve, he is easy to read

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

-he is always kissing cae’s forehead. saying hello? forehead kiss. saying goodbye? forehead kiss. comforting? forehead kiss

47. Is your character outgoing? Would they be the leader of the friend group, or the quiet one that gets dragged along?

-he is p outgoing! he’s not much of a leader or follower in a friend group, it changes depending on the ppl he’s with

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

-he gets jealous when boys flirt with cae or when his dog is being more affectionate to someone other than him

49. What is something that your character has nightmares about? Are these frequent? Do they heavily affect your character’s mood?

-ari often dreams of drowning, most often it’s during a stormy night in the ocean. it’s not super frequent but it’s one that does happen more than other dreams

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

-he’s already confessed and now they’re dating and happy!!!!

[justkimberley]

Thank you for tagging me :) @ambitioncunningpridemieczyslaw it's always fun to learn more about ppl.

Best gift you've ever gotten: my answer for this acutally just changed recently. context: my grandparents all died before i was born/when i was 2/3, so i don't have much to remember them by. my mom was visiting my aunt (her oldest sister) this summer and my aunt gave my mom my grandpa's mandolin to give to me. one of my uncles had said that maybe my cousin would like it (he's also very musical, about 4 yrs older than me), but my aunt thought that i should have it because i don't have much to remember my grandpa from. just a couple home videos really. anyway, my mom told me this story and gave me the mandolin and i just absolutely bawled my eyes out.

Nicest thing anyone's ever done for you: when i get very overwhelmed my oldest sister will listen to me and help me prioritize things until they don't seem so daunting. she will even take on tasks that i want to finish but don't necessarily have to do myself if she thinks it will help. it's something that i appreciate endlessly. i know that it's not her job, and sometimes i feel bad that i'm bothering her, but it’s always so helpful and reminds me how much she cares about me.

Favourite holiday memory: when i was 12 we went to hawaii and the guy at the surf shop told us about this breakfast restaurant that we needed to go to for banana pancakes with macadamia nut sauce so we did and that was the most delicious breakfast i've ever had.

Where you want to go once you can travel again: lmao technically we can travel now but i don't have a passport atm 🙃. When i finally get around to it, i really want to go to a convention or something to see my favourite creators. i've realized that i have the ability to do random shit now as an adult and i'm ready to finally try doing the things i was always too embarrassed about/didn't want to ask my parents for.

Animal you identify with: cats! i love cuddling until i don't, i like things to be done on my terms, i like to take naps, and i have a habit of nuzzling my face into people that i love.

Your OTP: i'm so bad at otp's im much more of a multishipper. I'd probably agree with you that tyrus is good, i really can't see them with anyone else. Probably nick and charlie from heartstopper too.

Tumblr Pals you want to meet irl: niko!

Soulmates real or fake: real. Statistically speaking it just makes sense that there are people you are destined to get along with. I don't necessarily think there is 1 person romantically for everyone, but i think that there are people in the world that you will click with no matter what.

Favourite holdiay food: ginger snaps 😋 (least favourite is fruitcake)

What you wish you were doing right now: i wish i was cuddling someone tbh

Your safe space/ where or who you feel at home with: my friends. Especially my irl best friends, they will listen to me talk about my random hyperfixations and not get annoyed with me :)

Favourite hobbies: art, music, writing, reading... idk i have a lot of them.

Cooking or baking: both!! i just like to make/eat good food and i happen to be fantastic at it. 💁🏼

Reading or writing: (considering how little i write nowadays 🙈) probably reading. I miss writing though, i need to pick it up again.

Gifsets or moodboards: gif sets.

Coffee or tea: both? Depends on the mood really.

City or suburbs: suburbs. Cities get too overwhelming sometimes.

Someone who can always make you laugh: me... lol it's true but I'm actually going to go with kurtis conner.

Someone who always brightens your day: Sapnap

Favourite day of the week: friday

Favourite animals: cat, hedgehog, dog

Favourite movie, tv show, and a song: i'm bad at favourites so im going to go with comfort movie/tv/song. Any of the high school musical movies will always cheer me up, avatar the last airbender is a fantastic show, and september by earth, wind, fire NEVER fails to put a smile on my face.

Dream vacation spot: anywhere with my friends. I really want to go to greece some day.

Writers/artists/creators you want to see more of: all of them!

Tag: anyone who sees this!

25 fun and cute questions to brighten the spirits and get us through the holidays!

I was tagged by @halevetica who is literally such an angel and one of the best fanfic writers of all time!!!!!!!

Check them out on Ao3 cuz again they are one of the best and has never written a bad fic 💕

Hiya all! I’ve created this list as a reminder of happy memories and great times with our loved ones since I think we’re all feeling a tad blue this holiday season. Tagging my favourite blogs but all are welcome to answer :)

Best gift you’ve ever gotten: I would have to say the best gift I ever got came from my old high school ap lit teacher/theater director I was in the plays every year from 7th-12th grade and she got me a necklace with the drama faces on it along with a jewelry box that played at the beginning from Anastasia, which was the first song I ever sang with her on stage, when I graduated so yeah she gets the win everytime cuz she had me bawling like a baby at the final cast party we did

Nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you: I have 4 different friends who on 4 different occasions just bought me gifts not because of anything special or because they felt sorry over us fighting or something just they saw something and genuinely thought I would like it. I honestly just love receiving gifts that someone gets you out of the blue just because they simply think of you after seeing something and get it for you like it definitely means a lot to me that I'm the first person they thought of when getting those things

Your favourite holiday memory: Um... I honestly don't know if I have one, but something that I look back and think fondly of is when the one year my mom and I caroled with our church choir like I remember all the baking we did the day before in the church kitchen and it was a lot of us singing to Christmas songs that probably shouldn't be played in church lol and the caroling itself went well we gave out plates of cookies and caroled for any person who was on our prayer list at the time and seeing some of those people's faces like them seeing that people did care and that they weren't alone meant everything to me

Where you want to go first once we can travel again: New Zealand it's always looked so beautiful plus I mean that's where Lucy Lawless is from so it has to be amazing

Your spirit animal: I'm going to say a wolf just because I've always had this obsession with them since I was a kid

Your OTP: See I wanna say Sterek just because they're my favorite ship but I also like them in different pairings... I'm going to do a throwback shout out to Tyrus from Andi Mack cuz I can't handle seeing Tj and Cyrus with anyone but each other.

Tumblr pals you want to meet in real life: Literally anyone and everyone so I have more people to cuddle and binge shows with lol

Soulmates: real or fake: Imma say real like I do believe they're are souls who are cosmically linked together whether it be romantically or platonically I do think we all have that one person who we want to spend forever with

Favourite holiday food: those sugar cookies with the Reese Cups or Hershey Kisses in the center those are the shit tbh

What you wish you were doing right now: it's only 9:30 am so it's my chill in bed and contemplate life time lol but ig if there was something I wish I was doing rn it would be finishing the Sterek fic I'm reading rn

Your safe space/where or who you feel most at home with: My safe space would be while I was in school it was either the library or auditorium but now that I have an apartment that I share with my sister like I finally feel like I have a home to go to and genuinely want to be at so yeah my place is definitely my space but as for people I would say my sister and our two best friends

Favourite hobbies: Reading brings me joy lol which here are pictures I finally finished putting together my other book shelf the other day so if ya'll want to see here are some pictures. Definitely want more books though lol

Cooking or baking: Oh cooking for sure cuz I can't bake for shit 😅

Reading or writing: Reading

Gifsets or mood boards:

Coffee or tea: Coffee!!!!

City or suburbs: To visit city to stay suburbs

Someone who can always make you laugh: I would say my sister and our two friends we're always making each other laugh

Someone who always brightens your day: @crazyassmurdererwall just because anytime I'm having a bad day the fic I go to for comfort is Stuck In Reverse because it is literal perfection

Favourite day of the week: Whatever my day or days off are that week like how today is a glorious Tuesday cuz it's my only day off this week

Favourite animal: Wolves

Dream vacation spot: I mean I've been to the beach nearly every summer since I was a kid so I feel like renting out a nice cabin in the mountains somewhere would be dope af

Writer, artist, or creator(s) you want to see more of: @crazyassmurdererwall & @isthatbloodonhisshirt & @halevetica always 💕

Favourite movie, television show, and song: A Star Is Born (2018), Sex and the City, & You Don't Own Me by Lesley Gore

I tag @justkimberley @acercrea @charming-fan-girl @cinematicnomad only if ya'll want to of course & if I mentioned you and you see this and want to do this go for it!!!! Please tag me if you do and that goes for anyone who sees this I give you full permission to tag me so I can see all of your responses. Love you all!!! 💕💕💕

[davidjjohnston3]

7.24.2021'Reflections of a Russian-Romantic-Orthodox-Post-Soviet Obstetrician / Aspiring Catholic-Post-Reformation-Unified-Church Pediatric Neurosurgeon (Divider of Freak-Conjoined Child-Brains) cum. Bethlehem College and Seminary M. Div. Global Studies + Savior of Worldwide North Korean Studies + Policy  + Final Flaming Sword Destroyer of Democrat Intellectual Arrogance, Child-Hate, God-Hate and Anti-Korean Racism' Flaming swords that divide people, change the world, change souls... Russia's determination to remember tragedy as well as mercy and a spirit of gentle adoption whereby they treat students and other young people much different from what I did; also Russian anti-Nazism - everlasting I imagine - in an age when respect-me-or-die attitudes, moral purity, intellectual hubris and Scientism, messianic corporatism and much else are either being accelerated or badly necromanced as everyone tries to settle every little score (an easy way to forget all the starvation, organ-harvesting, betrayal of human promise that is going on every second).  I'm only writing this because it's 7:08 in the morning and it's easier to write than not to write.  Lately I developed the habit of 'Holding the Dream' to paraphrase the title of a Nora Roberts novel about children that I tried to turn in to 'Project 521' in a gentler time.  I read a C.S. Lewis essay though I forget which one, perhaps 'Home,' about being known.  When I read this essay at night it reminds me of a more trusting whole time as does Knausgaard's 'A Time for Everything' whose title is a joke at several levels; a book I'll finish reading, if I even finish 'Autumn' which is my favorite work of his about an unborn daughter, a 'notebook-letter-bouquet' which is a genre I appreciate.For a while I felt I was close to greatness and that my mind and heart were in unison with those I most respect around this globe such as Chancellor John Piper with respect to abortion-culture - playing God - but no matter what I say this is a Maoist era in which power has to be backed by guns or other 'hard' resources.  I was also compelled or perhaps tempted to provide background for my spiritual development which in retrospect attracted 'assassins' who were only interested in cherry-picking my worst moment. I honestly came to feel that there is some 'unconditional evil, unconditional hatred' in some that makes them - no matter how nobly they speak or how hard they worked in the past - determined to destroy something at the end rather than build something or help someone or do what they said they would do.I wondered if I blasphemed someone or something so that God allowed the Prince of Darkness through these people, every professing Christians or family-members.  People are talking about spirit and intellect and insight but forget that Lucifer has all these in abundance.  I've had some delusions and kept responding to people outside of myself.  I learned a lot about people whom understanding was without purpose or profit as a) telling them to themselves, that their expectations were wrong or criminal or sadistic or nihilistic or of the party of 'the protest of ultimate futility' - the messaging whereby someone says ultimately nothing matters or you don't matter - was never going to alter their mindsb) this increased experience of human / spiritual evil didn't really constitute increase of knowledge, wisdom, understanding but only more 'CCP-esque pimp-love lie-fare gas-lighting brain-damage; brick to the head' or to put it more gently a wrong emphasis of factors which distorted mood or disposition as an orchestra with good rehearsal, preparation, and conductor could be eroded in the wrong hands over time, and people were just trying to wear me down in a 'Bleed France White' war of attrition against everything I've tried to be and do  I also realized of late the time had come to give up certain perquisites that I had had in mind to one day gain or 'help myself to.'  At the bottom of my soul I guess I always wanted to cash in; someone else on FB after the miraculous sparing of my life in 2012 started spreading around an experience that I had had with a student in 2012 which was nothing like the K-wave NC-17 version could have been the CCP deepfake character-assassination pretext for WW3 or Covid unrestricted biowarfare against white guys.  Words can't fly back in to the mouth that once let them out and at this point I have no idea what my legacy could be - or in a way hopefully no one even cares anymore although I suspect they keep some version of the story somewhere for a dinner-party IDK why I am saying this; you can reason with some people / try and teach them but if they have no compelling reason to change they might just savage youI wondered lately whether some people really believe.  They want life but their interpretation / understanding or imago of life - who knows?  'Tomorrow will be like today only more so' (Isaiah, mutatis mutandis).  They might love life or hate life but they want it and they also often don't care where it comes from, which is part of why right now the debate over social justice or the fact that so much in the United States comes from outside of the United States, or the fact that poor Millennials et al. are often still unable to get married and have children while Boomers ride emperor-on-palanquin- style on top of the Social Security system and reproach us for believing, like the title of a novel about Shanghai, 'What We Were Promised' at the breakfast-table or in (public, Democrato-Maoist-intellectual-town-bike-fruitbasket) schools about freedom, self-esteem, magic - world peace, nuclear disarmament, the 'salvation' of the natural environment, outer space, technology, non-traditional families, racial reconciliation, international adjudication of breaches of international law and esp. enforcement of human rights.  It struck me several times in recent months and years that the rulers, the sovereigns, the princes and great captains of the nations I admire such as Israel and Korea were often either a) special forces soldiers (such as Moon Jaein, Ehud Barak)b) human rights lawyers (Roh Moohyun, Moon Jaein again)c) spies (the individual who might actually have closest to total control of world-events right now; or at least the ultimate veto of everything and everyone, with variable selectivity and specificity / detail) I don't know if I was overreacting or what; I was comfortable with my 'modest income' from mental illness and felt adequately justified since I was engaged in respectable activities; I felt I hadn't really had a moment's rest in life since I was about 4, constantly shot at, judged, abused, thrown to wolves etc. and blamed for my own problems since I 'didn't "make" daddy____.'   I even believed I had a chance to re-emerge since everyone amid Covid appears to be essentially on the same side.  Before recent events I event felt an 'FDR-moment' / 'New Deal moment' was feasible under Biden though I now see clearly I believe that JRBJr. can't control his underlings, staff, et al. as FDR was able to do; and America and the world are simply too complicated.  Vladimir Putin was saying - and he doesn't always lie - basically that constitutional democracies are too weak.  Neoliberal+ shills, 'Wahh bureaucracy, Milton Friedman, grist for our mill, cliche, cliche, eat the poor, abandon the weak, post-partum-abortion, God is dead' but a lot of these people are part of a bureaucracy as well and Russia's got government bureaus, CCP does, Korea does.  Anyone who ever loved or admired Confucius or studied China knows - though many such as Ezra Vogel and Tu Weiming and some dumb-ass Australians and Indian-Singaporean pervert this knowledge for pleasure and profit - what can be achieved through sincere, spiritual, loving, reverent, educated, talented, qualified, also beauty-loving, statecraft.I guess the only question in a way is whether Microsoft themselves have nuclear weapons or Google built the guidance-systems or something and that's not an LRB title though if I had lived a purer life to this point I might be on staff there or at least they'd welcome me in the cake-shop.  Howbeit at this point my 'last wish' is kind of to die in Korea where they journalists are NOT affected or mercenary, and the rag-picking of ppl like me is not fake or ultimately egocentric / meretricious / simulacrum or sham-virtue (again I hate to talk about Nietzsche since I wanted to move on to just David Platt, Saint Augustine, John Piper, John MacArthur, global Christianity 2022).  Korea's also, I noticed, a country where the Covid body-account appears to be honest and I know for a fact, as Dr., Prof, much else Eric Feigl-Ding has been talking about on Twitter about 25 hours a day, a country in which the Democrat mentality of 'you got sick you're stupid' or the Milwaukee mentality of 'you got sick bypass watch you die joke at bar but we're still good Christians South Park Satan must be good to be evil sometimes' isn't in effect and people have resolved to do everything they can both to prevent and to mitigate as well to contain or pocket though no one wants to talk much about that.  Like I said the other day I wish I were in Korea; I also had a dream about one of those free-standing station-stops in rural Japan that reminded me of 'Cafe Lumiere' by Hou Hsiao Hsien and a conversation I had with Prof. Ban Wang fmr. Rutgers and last I checked Stanford about how Japan had built these intricate rail-systems in order to help preserve rural culture.  Another good film about rural Japan is 'Hanamizuki' although IDK if post-Covid anyone is going to want to talk again about micro-sized kindergartens, the Iraq War, fishing, the meanings of trees, following through on commitments or promises, or returning gratitude and love.  IDK whether the stuff I read over the last 5-10 years about housing-prices in places like rural Japan or, alternatively, Vladivostok are as low as I've read but if they have good internet I might go if only b/c  people there aren't interested in teaching you every lesson or extracting the max. from you then leaving you to die in the name of 'getting to know one.'  There's a short Somerset Maugham book called 'The Moon and Sixpence' though I don't admire Maugham that much and prefer his literary criticism / critical appreciations of other writers and cultures to his fiction but it feels like what some people are looking for today is more like 'huge amounts of money, charming personality, offer we can't refuse, satisfying sexual favor or we either vivisect you or pozz you up with 1st-gen anti-psychotics / kill you with ECT and still deny the exist of God, as well as demons.'My other privileged Millennial friends are all mad at me for not bearing fruit and my 'last love' said I dishonored my parents but Koreans  & maybe they don't get just how much Mark Johnston et al. are totally committed to reversing course at the most destructive possible moments and never paying what they said they'd pay; like how terrorists will sometimes detonate one bomb for the civilians and another for the first responders on the scene - though maybe I just ran out of chances.

[jimlingss]

Ghost Messenger

Words: 11.8k Genre: Fluff, Angst Read more at Service Series

8:34 am. Y/N: I hope you have a really great day today! Remember to eat and don’t overwork yourself! If you need anything, I’m just a simple text away! :)

8:45 am. Hyunwoo: Yup.

Namjoon smacks his head on his desk, his phone falling through his fingers and onto the wooden surface. He begins to feel his throat tighten from guilt but he suppresses it, inhaling a large breath as he sits up. He shifts the phone aside and opens the file folder, pages and pages of old text messages printed out in front of him. Before noon today, Namjoon has to read all of them and find out the client, Hyunwoo’s, texting habits and mannerisms in order to mimic.

8:34 am. Y/N: I hope you have a good day today too! I know you’re probably really busy today so don’t worry about giving me a call. I’m doing fine here. Good luck on your meeting with the shareholders! Dad mentioned it yesterday so I just wanted to wish you luck. :)

Namjoon can’t fathom how you manage to send a text every single day at the exact same time. What he also doesn’t understand is how your fiancé can consider it annoying or clingy. If anything it’s kind of swee- ding!

8:36 am. Y/N: And 8:36 am. Y/N: I love you. 8:36 am. Y/N: forgot to say it.

As if the previous message of encouragement wasn’t enough, now you're tugging at his heartstrings and making him practically choke over his guilt. Usually the people he texted back were accusational, overly attached and always interrogating him on where he was, what he was doing, why he wasn’t replying fast enough but you didn’t do any of that.

Namjoon physically smacks his head on his desk once more before straightening up in his cubicle. Giving you a lengthy response certainly wouldn’t hurt anyone, now would it? It might be a bit out of the ordinary with your fiancé’s usually texting habits but Namjoon doesn’t care.

‘Thanks sweetheart’. The pad of his thumbs are typing on the keyboard and he nods to himself. Good, your fiancé often uses that term of endearment, despite it’s typical usage as a method to get what he wants like when he’s asking for a favour to be done or apologizing for not finishing a chore. ‘I really miss you too-’. He backtracks, erasing the entire sentence as Hyunwoo has never said that before. It takes a minute or two before Namjoon is able to construct a believable text and he works fast, not wanting to leave you waiting; even though your actual fiancé usually doesn’t even answer your messages.

8:41 am. Hyunwoo: Thanks sweetheart. Meetings with bunch of important ppl. Cant talk.

Namjoon’s work phone drops to the desk again and he sighs. Well...at least the reply is a lot better than the usual ‘yup’.

For the lazy. For the wealthy. For anyone who suffers from a clingy significant other, all your problems can be solved today!

With Ghost Messenger, we’ll set up someone to answer your text messages for you! We look at your previous records, following your texting patterns in order to be indetectable! Never again will you have to suffer with messages blowing up your phone or arguments about never answering! We take care of everything for you! Ghost Messenger, your ghost for your texts.

Working at Ghost Messenger isn’t a job that you can clock in and clock out of. Sure, he has to come into work and stay in his cubicle to fill out progress reports; leave at a certain time like everyone else but text messages are constantly being received and sent all day long. Sometimes the client’s significant other stays up past midnight to text, others text earlier and expect to hear from them immediately. It’s a tiresome job, one that makes Namjoon have to leave his work phone permanently in his pocket and on the loudest setting. But it pays well and often times than not, he only has two or three clients at once. It’s manageable and pays well.

Namjoon’s walking across the street with his hands in his pockets and his hood up. The evening sun is beginning to trickle it’s orange light over the horizon and his stomach is grumbling tirelessly. He can do a lot of things but one of the things he can’t do is cook. His New Year’s resolution was to get back into the kitchen more often but after chewing on his inedible, burnt meat and nearly burning his apartment down twice, he gave up for the sake of bettering humanity. As hungry as he often is, Namjoon has no choice but to grab a slice of pizza down at the little hole in the wall shop. He’d probably take it out...go home….maybe eat while surfing channels on his tv….

With a long sigh, he steps out onto the crosswalk and just then his work phon- dings!  

6:21 pm. Y/N: How was work? 6:22 pm. Y/N: I miss you.

Without realizing, his lips raises into a grin, making deep dimples appear on each side of his cheek. Sure, the message isn’t meant for him but when he’s the one who has to reply, it’s as if you’re asking him directly and no one else. In Namjoon’s lonely world, your simple text brings tears to his eyes and gives him a breath of fresh ai- Beep! Beep!

“CAN YOU GET OFF THE ROAD?! GOD SOME PEOPLE ARE CRAZY! MOVE!” A man pops his head out his car window and Namjoon realizes that he had froze on the crosswalk.

“Sorry!” He shouts, lowering his head in embarrassment and jogging to the other side.

6:27 pm. Hyunwoo: Work was good 6:27 pm. Hyunwoo: miss you too. 6:28 pm. Hyunwoo: wish you were here.

//

Good morning and goodnight texts aren’t out of the ordinary but hearing from you never fails to put a tiny smile on Namjoon’s face and his eyes always instantly brightens. He’s dealt with catty client’s significant others before, foul mouths and relentless insults, being questioned to the point where he dreamt of being a criminal in a police station. But your words are only full of sweet words of encouragement and it’s honestly the best thing to start his day with.

7:00 am. Y/N: Morning!

7:09 am. Hyunwoo: morning

7:11 am. Y/N: Are you already at work?

Namjoon yawns and stretches, rolling out of his covers and standing up to crack his back. He has a full hour to brush his teeth and hair, get dressed and head over to the coffee shop to grab breakfast before he sits in his cubicle again for the day.  

7:12 am. Hyunwoo: Getting ready.

7:12 am. Y/N: huh. 7:12 am. Y/N: aren’t you an hour ahead of me?

With the phone held tight in his hand, he stares at the message over and over again. Did he just make the biggest mistake of all time? In the early morning, it completely slipped Namjoon’s mind that your fiancé was living abroad and that he was indeed, an hour ahead of everyone else here.

Namjoon puts a hand to his forehead, pacing around his room for a second before hastily replying back.

7:13 am. Hyunwoo: slept in late.

7:13 am. Y/N: oh okay. Don’t overwork yourself!

He sighs, a wave of relief from just having dodged a bullet. He reminds himself not to get too out of control - you’re his client’s fiancée and he’s just an office worker with a strange job. He hasn’t even met you yet. He shouldn’t take your messages to heart either.

//

Your texts aren’t that difficult to respond to. Namjoon uses the cookie cutter answers that your fiancé frequently uses and you don’t even notice when they’ve been used multiple times before, that or you do know and haven’t said anything. Whatever the case, you seem to understand and you end up leaving him in peace.

It’s not like this is the way Namjoon wants to treat you but it’s the easiest and the normal way the both of you are used to.

What isn’t normal is when the phone suddenly begins to- Ring. Ring. Ringggg.

The phone vibrates on the wood of his desk, each ring getting longer and longer. He panics for a second before switching to his computer and opening the application. With the company he works at, they’re prepared for every scenario and every circumstance. It takes less than twenty seconds before Namjoon finds the file, picking up the call and playing an automated message from your fiancé.

“Hey sweetheart. I’m off in a meeting right now. If there’s anything wrong, leave me a text. Gotta run.”

A voice unfamiliar to Namjoon’s ear plays and then he hangs up in a flash. Hyunwoo at least had the decency to record five different messages in advance but it was all part of the contract’s requirement and certainly didn’t make Namjoon feel any less guilty. He doesn’t know why. He’s worked with a number of clients before but this is the first time that it feels just utterly...wrong..

1:26 pm. Y/N: sorry. nothing’s wrong. 1:27 pm. Y/N: sorry.

Your apologies make him feel even worse. And there’s nothing he can do.

//

A whole week has passed ever since he’s started messaging you and it’s going perfectly. You haven’t suspected a thing and day by day, Namjoon is texting you more and more. A drastic change can be easily detectable but a slow change isn’t. Instead of one worded responses and being forced to ignore your messages, now he’s able to reply quicker and longer - it’s easing his heart too.

3:58 pm. Y/N: Are you busy?

3:58 pm. Hyunwoo: no. 3:58 pm. Hyunwoo: not really.

3:59 pm. Y/N: good 3:59 pm. Y/N: i’m out shopping. 3:59 pm. Y/N: want to tell me what you think?

Yes. The thought snaps into his mind, his chest beats with anticipation and Namjoon holds the phone closer to his face. He’s not a pervert that wants to use you in the change rooms or your exposed pictures. He just wants to see...you.

Namjoon has tried to envision countless times what you look like, the sound of your voice, the colour of your eyes. His imagination has run wild but the entire time, you’ve been but a distant silhouette standing on the horizon in the dusk light, face a blank canvas and blurred. You’re simply someone on the other side of the screen and god knows where under the sky. He wonders if you’re as kind and gentle, as beautiful as the way you seem to be.

He doesn’t know who you are but never has he wanted to know so much.  

4:01 pm. Hyunwoo: sure

4:03 pm. Y/N: [image.jpg] 4:03 pm. Y/N: [image.jpg]

Ghost Messenger is no stranger to sexting and neither is Namjoon. He’s had a few clients that have been rather risqué but he dealt it with like how everyone else in his office. Depending on the contract and the client’s decision, it was decided if he could participate in it or not. Participation didn’t mean that he could drop his pants and take a few pics of himself to send. It meant that he could encourage the client’s significant other but if the contract said otherwise, he would only have to simply type ‘sorry babe. not right now. i’ll make it up to you later’.

But this wasn’t even the case. Yet Namjoon doesn’t understand why he’s so nervous as he taps onto the photos and it downloads into his work phone.

In the next second, it’s downloaded and the picture shows up on screen. Namjoon’s breath hitches as his eyes wander to the mirror you snapped that reflects the dress that’s on your body. The first photo is of you wearing a black body con dress, cutting off at the lower half of your thighs and the other is of a red dress with a sweetheart neckline and a pleated skirt. You’re beautiful but he can’t help feeling disappointed that he can’t see your eyes, the photo being cut off at your neck.

4:05 pm. Y/N: is it that bad?

4:05 pm. Hyunwoo: what are you talking about? 4:06 pm. Hyunwoo: it’s amazing. you look beautiful.

4:06 pm. Y/N: don’t you think my legs look a bit too...idk.

4:06 pm. Hyunwoo: no. god no.   4:07 pm. Hyunwoo: you look amazing.  4:07 pm. Hyunwoo: beautiful. 4:07 pm. Hyunwoo: I think you really look beautiful in both dresses.

Namjoon knows he should keep the replies short and sweet - it’s how your fiancé usually messages you but he can’t help it. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve to know that you look gorgeous, the flaws that you’re worried about are non-existent.

4:08 pm. Y/N: why are you so nice today?

He imagines you holding your phone in one hand and your other hand pressed against your blushing cheek. He imagines how you’re just pacing around the small change room, twirling around in the mirror a few times with a smile plastered on your face.

4:09 pm. Y/N: well? 4:09 pm. Y/N: which dress?

4:09 pm. Hyunwoo: both.

The simple answer spills a giggle from your lips, somewhere far from Namjoon’s office building and in a change room by yourself. Your heart swells as you get back into your regular clothes, taking both dresses and you pay with a big grin on your face. Hyunwoo isn’t usually generous with his compliments or affection in real life or in text messages - only when he wants something from you. But with his sudden attention, you can’t lie that it makes you feel incredibly happy.

Little do you know that it’s not really your fiancé but a man who cares much more, despite not knowing you.

For the rest of the shopping trip, the both of you text each other back and forth while you snap photos of the clothes you try on in the change room. It’s a bit strange to you how his fashion sense has improved so much, usually having no interest in what you wear but today, he gives good opinions and even suggestions.

5:22 pm. Y/N: Aren’t you busy with work?

5:22 pm. Hyunwoo: sort of. 5:22 pm. Hyunwoo: but I always have time for you.

5:23 pm. Y/N: what? Is this the same Hyunwoo I know? 5:23 pm. Y/N: are you okay?

Namjoon sets his phone down, rubbing his sweaty hands onto his jeans. It’s then that he realizes he might’ve taken things a bit too far. But how badly did your fiancé have to treat you for you to be shocked over some attention and caring words?

Despite the anger and guilt he feels inside, he brushes it all away. You’re his client’s significant other. This is his job. You’re getting married.

5:25 pm. Hyunwoo: perfectly fine.

//

Namjoon isn't particularly close with his co-workers. He does have friends, quite noisy ones too with the main chat constantly blowing up but lately, everyone’s been preoccupied with work. Thus, it comes as no surprise when he’s alone at a table in the break room, nibbling on his squashed lemon loaf for lunch.

12:08 pm. Y/N: have you eaten yet?

He abandons his food for his phone, eyes almost pressed against the screen as his thumbs begin to tap.

12:08 pm. Hyunwoo: eating right now. 12:08 pm. Hyunwoo: have you eaten?

12:09 pm. Y/N: eating right now too.

Enthusiastic Namjoon with wide eyes, snaps his pitiful lemon loaf slice and sends it to you.

12:10 pm. Hyunwoo: [image.jpg]

12:10 pm. Y/N: oh my god.   12:10 pm. Y/N: what is that?

12:11 pm. Hyunwoo: it’s something I grabbed this morning. 12:11 pm. Hyunwoo: :(  

12:11 pm. Y/N. :( 12:12 pm. Y/N: but why won’t you just go out to eat? 12:12 pm. Y/N: can’t your secretary grab you something?

Namjoon pauses for a moment, taking a bite as he thinks. His client Hyunwoo is wealthy and would never eat something like this. Namjoon knows he shouldn’t message you in this manner like you’re his friend, like you’re his fiancée but in the contemplation of selfishness and loneliness, he pushes away all the unsettling thoughts and tries to be honest instead.  

12:14 pm. Hyunwoo: it’s okay. 12:14 pm. Hyunwoo: its good to save money

12:14 pm. Y/N: save money? 12:15 pm. Y/N: wow 12:15 pm. Y/N: is this the same hyunwoo i know?

He hesitates before typing out-

12:15 pm. Hyunwoo: what do you mean?

12:16 pm. Y/N: well you love to splurge.

12:16 pm. Hyunwoo: what can I say? 12:16 pm. Hyunwoo: I’m a changed man.

12:16 pm. Y/N: you certainly are. 12:17 pm. Y/N: i like these new changes haha 12:17 pm. Y/N: but i love you regardless.

Namjoon shifts in his seat uncomfortably. His eyes shoot up to a few of his co-workers sitting together and whining about work. He wonders if anyone can tell the subtle blush on his cheeks, the way his lips tingle into a slight smile and how his client’s significant other’s words are getting to him way too much. But no one notices that he’s going a bit too far and he’s on the verge of breaking company policies.

The logical thing to do would be to draw more distance, perhaps even ask his boss to switch clients with another worker. It certainly isn’t normal what Namjoon’s experiencing, the conversations that he’s so invested in and the tiny flutters he feels in his chest. The logical thing would be to identify that you didn’t even know him, that he didn’t know you and you were in love with someone else. But Namjoon didn’t want to do the logical thing.

12:19 pm. Hyunwoo: what are you eating?

12:19 pm. Y/N: salad. 12:20 pm. Y/N: [image.jpg]

He pulls up the photo and almost chokes on the food inside his mouth. His co-workers turn around to shoot him a glance and he looks back up before down at his phone again.

12:20 pm. Hyunwoo: Why is it so tiny?

Your salad bowl was probably less than the size of his hand and looked like something you’d feed to rabbits. There wasn’t even any sauce, just salad and tomatoes, cucumbers and a few pieces of sad cilantro.

12:21 pm. Y/N: well I was thinking about what you said... 12:21 pm. Y/N: you know about how I should lose weight and all that 12:21 pm. Y/N: eat less 12:22 pm. Y/N: I was really mad at the time. We got into a huge argument and i slammed the door. 12:22 pm. Y/N: I didn’t even get to apologize to you. But I was thinking 12:22 pm. Y/N: and youre right. 12:23 pm. Y/N: i mean i have to fit into a wedding gown in a few months later anyways

Namjoon is absolutely appalled and horrified. His thumbs tap onto the keyboard of his phone at such a furious pace that he can’t think twice before sending you the endless stream of messages. He doesn’t notice how his fingers begin to cramp up, how he almost drops his phone and the way his co-workers shoot him another odd glance. His brows are so tightly knitted together that it begins to give him a headache.

12:24 pm. Hyunwoo: god no. 12:24 pm. Hyunwoo: fuck. 12:24 pm. Hyunwoo: you don’t need to apologize. 12:24 pm. Hyunwoo: I was just being an asshole okay? 12:25 pm. Hyunwoo: don’t listen to anyone. 12:25 pm. Hyunwoo: Why would you listen to anyone who tells you that?!

12:25 pm. Y/N: calm down 12:25 pm. Y/N: why are you so mad?

12:26 pm. Hyunwoo: i’m not mad. 12:26 pm. Hyunwoo: i’m just wondering what the hell’s going on in your mind for you to think that way. it’s not okay.

12:28 pm. Y/N: are you okay? 12:28 pm. Y/N: you’re acting weird

It had taken two minutes for you to respond, Namjoon waiting on the other side as the dots appeared, signalling that you’re typing and erasing, contemplating what to say. With your response, he takes two deep breaths. Namjoon swears that if he ever meets your fiancé, he’ll have to give him a good punch straight in the nose.

12:29 pm. Hyunwoo: i’m fine. 12:29 pm. Hyunwoo: just 12:30 pm. Hyunwoo: go eat more. 12:30 pm. Hyunwoo: take care of yourself. 12:30 pm. Hyunwoo: don’t listen to what I’ve told you before.

12:31 pm. Y/N: okay.

You’re giggling somewhere in your apartment home, salad aside as you focus on texting. You don’t understand how Hyunwoo’s suddenly becoming so much more attentive and caring towards you. But whatever the change is, you love this...him...much more than before.  

12:32 pm. Hyunwoo: you better eat five times that much miss!   12:32 pm. Hyunwoo: go order yourself a big mac or something.

12:33 pm. Y/N: yes sir! 12:33 pm. Y/N: you too 12:33 pm. Y/N: how’s that bread thing suppose to fill you up?

12:34 pm. Hyunwoo: fine. 12:34 pm. Hyunwoo: when i come home i want the both of us to have an additional ten pounds 12:34 pm. Hyunwoo: that way it’s softer when i cuddle you and when you cuddle me

He waits for your response, cheek rested in his propped hand and he taps his foot.

12:36 pm. Hyunwoo: Y/N?

12:37 pm. Y/N: HYUNWOO!

12:37 pm. Hyunwoo: what

12:37 pm. Y/N: I love you.

The remorse still exists somewhere in Namjoon’s chest but with another flutter and his grin being plastered on his face, he re-reads your message three times. He takes the last bite of his lemon loaf before switching off his phone and he’s still replaying the words in his head again.

//

Namjoon is laying in his bed, covers tucked up to his chin as he finally switches off his lamp and sets his phone down on the nightstand. He settles in the mattress, closing his eyes as his tense muscles relax and he’s ready to fall asleep. He’ll wake up in a handful of hours to get ready for work where he can continue the endless cycle of his life.

It’s when his phone violently vibrates ten minutes later and he jolts in surprise does sleep slip away from his grasp. Namjoon lifts his hand and grabs his phone, the brightness of it blinding him in his eyes but he doesn’t mind in the least bit when he sees your-

12:51 am. Y/N: are you asleep?

12:51 am. Hyunwoo: no. 12:51 am. Hyunwoo: what’s wrong?

Namjoon peels his eyelids back fully and he lifts his other hand from beneath the covers in order to type with both thumbs. He waits patiently for your response, watching the three dots bob up and down.

12:52 am. Y/N: nothing 12:52 am. Y/N: i just miss you 12:54 am. Y/N: sorry

12:54 am. Hyunwoo: why are you apologizing?

12:54 am. Y/N: well 12:55 am. Y/N: i know you dont like it when i say that kind of stuff 12:55 am. Y/N: and i don’t want to come off as clingy 12:55 am. Y/N: or burden you

12:56 am. Hyunwoo: you’re not. 12:56 am. Hyunwoo: and you dont have to worry about something like that 12:57 am. Hyunwoo: we’re engaged aren’t we?

He rolls his body to one side, sighing as he reads his own words over again. Namjoon almost chuckles in disbelief at how honest his lies are. He’s not engaged with you but he certainly isn’t telling fibs about everything else.

12:58 am. Hyunwoo: i miss you too.

1:00 am. Y/N: hey 1:00 am. Y/N: should we get a puppy?

In the darkness of his bedroom, the peaceful quiet is broken with his loud laugh.

The text is so random and out of place that he’s left feeling confused, baffled and amused all at the same time. Namjoon contemplates carefully and reaches a conclusion that with the prim and properness of your fiancé; Hyunwoo probably wouldn’t enjoy a little dog running around your abode with it’s paws all over the furniture. Despite Namjoon’s actual opinion, he follows through with his client’s.

1:01 am. Hyunwoo: no 1:01 am. Hyunwoo: I think that’s a bad idea

1:01 am. Y/N: :( 1:01 am. Y/N: why? 1:02 am. Y/N: puppies are great.

1:02 am. Hyunwoo: i agree 1:02 am. Hyunwoo: but why do you want one so suddenly?

1:03 am. Y/N: what do you mean 1:03 am. Y/N: ive been asking you since a long time ago 1:04 am. Y/N: im just bored around the house by myself

1:04 am. Hyunwoo: ill come back soon 1:04 am. Hyunwoo: and i’ll keep you company then

1:05 am. Y/N: I’m counting down the days.

Namjoon isn’t. And for the first time in his life, he’s hoping that the days last long.

1:06 am. Hyunwoo: do you miss me?

1:06 am. Y/N: yes 1:06 am. Y/N: i just told you 1:06 am. Y/N: i miss you lots and lots! to the world and back

1:07 am. Hyunwoo: i mean i’m a million miles away from you.

1:07 am. Y/N: i do but at the same time i don’t 1:08 am. Y/N: you text me so much that sometimes it feels like you’re right here with me

He feels a twinge in his chest, something that lodges up inside his throat. Your real fiancé is indeed hundreds of miles away and the only means of communication you have with him is over the phone. But on the other side of the screen isn’t him but Namjoon instead - a complete stranger that you’re pouring all your love and affection into.

1:08 am. Y/N: thank you

1:08 am. Hyunwoo: what for?

1:09 am. Y/N: making time for me 1:09 am. Y/N: I know we had a few arguments before you left. The both of us become so distant with each other 1:10 am. Y/N: I’ll be honest. for a moment there it felt like things were really over 1:10 am. Y/N: but I’m happy that we’re okay now. 1:11 am. Y/N: i love you a lot hyunwoo 1:12 am. Y/N: i don’t think i say it enough.

1:12 am. Hyunwoo: no. 1:12 am. Hyunwoo: i definitely don’t say it enough

Namjoon’s fingers tremble as he types, hovering hesitantly over each key. It takes him a long minute before he shuts his eyes and taps the ‘send’ button.

1:13 am. Hyunwoo: I love you.

In the deepest part of his mind, he really doesn’t know if it’s a lie or not.

1:14 am. Y/N: now i’m blushing 1:14 am. Y/N: with this stupid smile 1:14 am. Y/N: wish you were here to see it

1:15 am. Hyunwoo: me too

1:15 am. Y/N: well soon enough you will be and then we won’t have to text anymore

The simple thought of it makes Namjoon nauseous. And he feels disgusted with himself for feeling this way. He has no right to carry any feelings or attachments to you. He’s a downright liar. He’s not who you think he is.

1:16 am. Y/N: I’m tired. 1:16 am. Y/N: probably gonna head off to bed soon 1:16 am. Y/N: don’t stay up too late working

1:16 am. Hyunwoo: i won’t. 1:17 am. Hyunwoo: good night.

1:17 am. Y/N: sweet dreams 1:18 am. Y/N: love you.

Namjoon shuts off his phone, sliding it back onto the cool surface of his nightstand. He shifts back into his covers, rolling to the other side and away from the damp stain on his pillow.

//

He doesn’t know what’s been brought over him. But the moment he sees your message mid-day, sitting at his cubicle desk, he gets up and grabs his coat. He mumbles a half-hearted excuse to his co-worker who doesn’t peel their eyes off from their phone, still leaning back in their swivel chair as they give a hum thirty seconds later. No one notices Namjoon’s hesitance steps, the endless stuttering ghosting under his breaths, his hair becoming damp with sweat and especially as he slips out of the office. Not even his boss bothers to say anything or rather, he doesn’t pay any attention, pupils glued onto his phone screen and thumbs tapping away.

Namjoon muses that he’s easily replaceable in the company. No one would even miss him.

But he doesn’t dwell on those depressing thoughts when his heart is palpitating like he’s run an entire marathon. He grips his fist tight as he walks down the street, picking up the pace to the point where he’s practically jogging past people. It’s wrong, so utterly wrong. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. And at the same time he knows exactly what he’s doing.

2:46 pm. Y/N: guess where i’m headinggggg

2:48 pm. Hyunwoo: where

2:48 pm. Y/N: i said guess

2:49 pm. Hyunwoo: idk the park?

2:49 pm. Y/N: no 2:49 pm. Y/N: you suck at guessing 2:50 pm. Y/N: im going out for coffee by myself 2:50 pm. Y/N: you know my favourite place 2:50 pm. Y/N: heard that the latte drink came back

2:51 pm. Hyunwoo: favourite place?

2:51 pm. Y/N: dont tell me you forgot

2:52 pm. Hyunwoo: uhh 2:52 pm. Hyunwoo: doesnt ring a bell 2:52 pm. Hyunwoo: remind me.

2:53 pm. Y/N: the cute store on the corner of fifth avenue 2:53 pm. Y/N: remember?

And that was exactly where Namjoon was heading. His heart beating a mile per minute, his feet shuffling so speedily against the pavement that he nearly trips, his eyes pointed to one spot that he’s all too familiar with. It’s the same place where he gets his own coffee every morning, the same exact place that he’s walked in and out of a million times before and now he can only wonder how many times have he missed you. How many times have the both of you passed by each other? Perhaps your eyes have met once before, maybe you standing in the back of the line while he was in front. But whatever the case, Namjoon has never been more desperate in his life.

He just wants to see you.

The bells on the emerald wooden door shake and rattle as he pulls it open, a chime that signals his entrance and the barista behind the counter greets him with a smile. Immediately, he does a full scan inside, looking at the few people at the table but he’s pulled away when someone asks ‘what would you like to order?’.

“Uh...I’ll have the new latte.” He winces at the sound of his hoarse voice, not used to speaking. He touches his throat with lips tight together but the cashier smiles at him.

“Great choice. We’ll have it ready in just a moment.” She taps onto her monitor. “What’s your name?”

“Namjoon.”

She scribbles down his name onto the cup and he shuffles to the other counter to wait for his drink.

3:04 pm. Y/N: can you believe they misspelled my name? 3:04 pm. Y/N: like god it’s not even that hard 3:05 pm. Y/N: it’s Y/N. Just Y/N!

Namjoon chuckles to himself and he opens his mouth to softly enunciate your name, never having done it before. “Y/N.”

“Nam...soon?” He jumps startled, looking up at the barista who slides his drink onto the counter. “Is this your drink?”

“Oh.” He looks down, quickly grabbing the latte cup into his hand. “Thanks.” As the barista moves back to fill another order, he lingers at the counter and frowns at his cup - the way they scribbled down his name as ‘Namson’.

He doesn’t look around, eyes pressed onto his screen as he walks deeper into the shop and settles down at an empty table.

3:08 pm. Hyunwoo: they misspelled my name too

3:09 pm. Y/N: what?

He nearly spits out his drink as he re-reads what he had sent. He sets down his cup and phone, groaning and quietly banging his head on the wooden surface of the table. He messed up. He messed up real bad.

3:11 pm. Hyunwoo: i mean the last time i went there 3:11 pm. Hyunwoo: when i used to go there 3:11 pm. Hyunwoo: before i went abroad 3:11 pm. Hyunwoo: obviously

There’s a slight giggle that comes from an adjacent table and he immediately lifts his head to the bubbling sound. A girl...or rather a beautiful woman is seated on the chair with a latte by her side, her phone held in her hands as she momentarily glances out the window. The sunlight gleams in, hitting right against her luscious locks and her crinkled orbs shimmers even brighter.

It’s you.

And his expectations are shattered.

You’ve reached beyond his imagination, a million ways more beautiful than he’s ever thought. It feels surreal to be so close to you, sitting diagonally. From an outsider’s perspective, glancing inwards, it might look like you’re sitting across from each other but he’s at the next table, beside yours with a distance less than a meter.

From his prolonged gaze, mesmerized at the tiny gap, you catch him in your peripheral vision. The moment your eyes meet his, he rips his away and stares down at his phone, cowering away from your stare. A tiny smile sneaks up your lips but then you turn to focus back on texting.

3:15 pm. Y/N: dont be mad 3:15 pm. Y/N: but there’s this really cute guy sitting diagonally from me

Namjoon sputters again but he covers his mouth with his arm, pretending it’s a rough cough and he pounds his chest for a second as if he has the flu.

3:15 pm. Hyunwoo: Really?

3:15 pm. Y/N: all he did was look at me dont worry 3:16 pm. Y/N: just cause i have a ring on my finger doesnt mean i can’t look 3:16 pm. Y/N: being engaged doesn’t make me blind

His fingers hover over the letters and he knows he shouldn’t but he also knows he shouldn’t have done a lot of things. He shouldn’t text you so attentively, so fondly with answers straight out of his heart...he shouldn’t have let curiosity get the better of himself. He shouldn’t have tried to meet you like this. He shouldn’t be here.

There’s a lot of things he shouldn’t have done. One more thing wouldn’t hurt.

3:18 pm. Hyunwoo: tell me about him.

Namjoon steals a glance from you and your head is tilted with a slight frown on your face but an amused smile at the same time.

3:18 pm. Hyunwoo: i mean i want to know who’s captured my fiancée’s heart.

A bit of laughter falls from your lips and you quickly cover your mouth with your hand. Namjoon shifts closer onto his chair, not being able to stop his smile that stretches across his cheeks.

3:19 pm. Y/N: well he’s got cute dimples. so that's an automatic +100 points 3:19 pm. Y/N: cute face too 3:19 pm. Y/N: decent fashion sense 3:19 pm. Y/N: just not the pants. -5000 points.

Namjoon’s head immediately bolts down to his baggy jeans. Okay, maybe he was lazy this morning and just grabbed them out of his laundry basket after giving them a good sniff. But still. It’s one of his favourite pairs.

3:20 pm. Hyunwoo: what’s wrong with his pants?

3:20 pm. Y/N: looks like he got them out of the dump

3:20 pm. Hyunwoo: well that’s rude 3:21 pm. Hyunwoo: what if he really liked it? 3:21 pm. Hyunwoo: what if it was his favourite pair? And the pair he bought using his first ever paycheck? What if his mother picked it out for him?

You’re laughing again at the table, covering your face as your entire body trembles from trying to hold it in. Namjoon realizes that he’s pouting and he relaxes through an exhale, playfully stealing one glance from you.

3:22 pm. Y/N: sounds like you have an emotional connection to those pants

3:23 pm. Hyunwoo: hey 3:23 pm. Hyunwoo: im just not a pants-ist. 3:23 pm. Hyunwoo: i love all pants in every shade, wash and size

3:24 pm. Y/N: are you sure about that? 3:24 pm. Y/N: last time we went to get you a new suit, you threw a huge fit in the change room with the attendant measuring your pants size 3:25 pm. Y/N: we even had to go back to return it after it arrived at our house when it was it your fitted size

Namjoon’s chin is propped up in his hand and his fingertips tap against the wooden surface as he thinks of a response. He takes a sip of the latte, using the opportunity to let his eyes flicker to your form.

3:26 pm. Hyunwoo: I’m a changed man.

It’s a long minute that passes as you return to stare out the window and Namjoon stares at you. He doesn’t want to seem creepy to strangers and in fear of you catching him a second time, he moves to stare at the wooden panel walls.

Your phone vibrates a second later and you lift the screen up to your eyes.

3:29 pm. Hyunwoo: Can I ask you something?

3:29 pm. Y/N: what is it?

3:30 pm. Hyunwoo: Why do you love me?

Your breath hitches as you re-read his question three times. The answer is there. You know you love him - that’s without a single doubt. But you can’t quite put it into words.

3:31 pm. Hyunwoo: I mean I treat you so badly 3:31 pm. Hyunwoo: so why?

3:33 pm. Y/N: do i need reasons? 3:33 pm. Y/N: and you dont treat me that badly 3:33 pm. Y/N: i love you with the same reasons as to why you love me 3:34 pm. Y/N: i don’t know 3:34 pm. Y/N: i just do. 3:35 pm. Y/N: always have and always will.

Your eyes move to look outside the window again and you take your last sip. In one breath, you switch off your phone and stand up, the seat scratching onto the floorboards as it shifts back.

Namjoon watches as you throw your cup away and leave through the emerald green door, bells chiming to signal your exit. You disappear into the streets with a mind in chaos of ‘why?’. And Namjoon’s heart is heavy, eye bags anchor to his face as throws his own cup into the trash and leaves in the opposite direction.

He turns his head back once but you’re already gone. He doesn’t why he’s becoming so greedy already but looking at you from a distance isn’t enough. If anything, it hurts even more.

//

9:38 pm. Hyunwoo: are you okay?

It was strange. The whole day he had gone without a message from you; no good morning text, questions asking if he’s eaten yet or if he was having a good day. It didn’t even occur to Namjoon that he had become so dependent on you - waiting for your message at every hour, staring blankly at the screen with a pout. It was ironic, the way your fiancé thought you were too clingy and wanted to get rid of you; now Namjoon had become the type that your fiancé dreaded.

But what Namjoon couldn’t wrap his mind around was how your fiancé thought you were clingy in the first place. You weren’t. You weren’t overly obsessed and it wasn’t like you didn’t have a life of your own. You were just in love. All you needed was to feel appreciated and a little attention to have your feelings reciprocated but Hyunwoo wasn’t willing to give any of it. Maybe the only reason Hyunwoo was overwhelmed by you was because he thought you were burdensome - maybe all your feelings were one sided.

The mere thought of it makes him nauseous but before he can cringe away, his phone vibrates and he instantly lurches for it, eyes lighting up.

9:41 pm. Y/N: im fine

9:41 pm. Hyunwoo: Really?

9:42 pm. Y/N: yeah 9:42 pm. Y/N: it’s nothing

9:42 pm. Hyunwoo: What’s nothing? 9:42 pm. Hyunwoo: Y/N, tell me. If it’s important, you need to tell me. 9:42 pm. Hyunwoo: I’m your fiancé for god’s sake.

9:43 pm. Y/N: i just caught the flu 9:43 pm. Y/N: lol calm down 9:43 pm. Y/N: I slept the entire day 9:44 pm. Y/N: feeling better already :)

9:44 pm. Hyunwoo: did you take your medication yet? Did you eat?

9:46 pm. Y/N: I ate. And we ran out of meds.

9:48 pm. Hyunwoo: You need to go buy some then. You’ll only get better with the proper medication and by hydrating yourself. It’ll be dangerous to drive so just call a cab or call someone to bring it over for you. 9:49 pm. Hyunwoo: Actually. 9:49 pm. Hyunwoo: Just go to the doctor.   9:51 pm. Hyunwoo: It might be a lot more serious than we think it is and what if you faint or you fall into something more dangerous? No one’s home with you right now. Call a cab to the hospital, it’ll be safer that way. They’ll give you a proper prescription and see if there’s any underlying issues that need to be taken care of.

Namjoon finishes typing, waiting for your response but it never comes. He begins to panic, wondering if you really have fainted somewhere in your apartment and hit your head on a surface.

9:53 pm. Hyunwoo: Y/N?!

9:53 pm. Y/N: I swear. You worry too much. :P 9:53 pm. Y/N: I’m fine. I’m just gonna go get more sleep. 9:54 pm. Y/N: don’t worry about me and keep working. 9:54 pm. Y/N: love you.

Namjoon groans, throwing his phone aside as he falls back onto the covers of his mattress. Now, he won’t be able to stop thinking about you for the rest of the night.

It’s as if a light bulb sparks in his brain and the next minute, he’s scrolling through your data on his work phone. Bingo! He finds exactly what he’s looking for, thankful that he has an abundance of information about you. Without time to spare, Namjoon grabs his coat and runs out his front door, nearly forgetting to lock it with the rush he’s in.

He makes it to the corner convenience store, half running and half jogging the entire way. Namjoon smashes the door open, crouching down with hands on his knees to catch his breath. With the loud ruckus, everyone in the tiny shop stop to stare at him and he awkwardly stands straight again, waving an apologetic hand to the cashier.

He throws a small cardboard box into his shopping basket and walks down the tiny aisle, crouching down onto his knees to look at each item. He turns the bottles, eyes flickering carefully to read the labels. Within the next ten minutes of careful selection, he’s paying at the counter in the few bills he has to spare.

Sitting on the curb of the street and putting the grocery bag between his legs - he delicately places a package of cold medicine, a box of tea bags, cough drops, raw honey, a juice box and a chocolate bar - all into the little cardboard box and then he tapes it shut.

One glance at his wristwatch, he launches upwards, thankful that the post office is open until 11 pm and that it’s just down the street.

“We’re about to clo-” The old man with a hunched back begins to flip the ‘open’ sign to ‘close’.

“Pl…-plea...se.” He manages between sharp exhales, lungs on absolute fire from running.

The old man sighs with a smile and nods. Namjoon stumbles, now sputtering and coughing as he puts the package on the counter. He quickly takes out his phone, scribbling the address onto the box. “Is it for your girlfriend?” The man chuckles out with amusement.

Namjoon burns a deep shade of scarlet while mumbling incoherently under his steadying breath. “Something...something like that.”

“Hm...this address is nearby.” He doesn’t press on about the matter as he scans it and puts it through the computer.

“When will it arrive by?” He puts a hand on the counter, eyes as big as saucers in urgency. “Is it possible to deliver it as soon as you can?”

The old man chuckles again. “The delivery team starts at seven in the morning and considering that it’s a nearby address, it’ll probably be delivered by nine.”

“Thank you.”

“Whoever she is...she’s a lucky girl.”

Namjoon shuffles on his feet shyly, rubbing the back of his neck and he waits until the package is tucked safely in storage to be sent out by morning. He lingers back until the man closes shop, feeling a bit guilty for rushing the elder and making him stay past closing time. But as Namjoon makes his way back home to his shabby apartment, he’s never felt more excited; a tiny skip in his steps up the stairs.

//

It’s an odd morning for more reasons than one. On any normal day, Namjoon would’ve already been up by seven but now it’s ten and he’s still fast asleep under his covers. Maybe it’s because it’s one of his rare off days, perhaps he’s just far too comfortable but the white walls giggle as they hear him snore; far too oblivious of the shining sun streaming into the room.

It’s not until there’s a violent vibration and a boisterous ring that jolts him awake.

Groaning in exasperation, his hand lifts blindly to the phone sitting on his nightstand and without thinking twice, he answers the call.

“Hello?”

His voice is raspy, a deep timber resonating from the back of his throat.

Nothing answers him but the distant static from the other line.

Namjoon pulls away the phone with a frown, utterly confused and then the screen lights up with your name….your name - Y/N.

His eyes shoot open, suddenly wide-awake like he’s been doused with a bucket of ice water and he lurches forward into a sitting position. Namjoon makes sure he isn’t dreaming, pinching himself once and he curses for answering his work phone - he knows he shouldn’t have, he never does since it could always be a client’s significant other but in his morning weariness, it was an accident. An accident. A complete and utter accident.  

He holds up the phone to his ear for a second longer and nothing but silence replies on the other end. He hangs up.

Oh my god. Oh my god. His fingers are deeply threaded through his hair as he paces back and forth. He messed up. He messed up real bad. Did you find out? Did you know? It definitely wasn’t Hyunwoo’s voice, not by a million years and you would be able to tell by the first syllable, even just by the sharp breath inhaled. It was all over.

But maybe it isn’t. Maybe he should just text you and pretend it was his secretary that picked up his phone. There’s hope! There’s hope after all!

Namjoon races to his phone but as he raises it in his hand, it vibrates and the screen lights.

10:16 am. Y/N: Oops. Didn’t even realize that I called you. I was just scrolling through our old texts together and accidentally clicked the call button. I didn’t get a chance to hang up cause the doorbell rang. Sorry. Did I bother you at work?

10:16 am. Hyunwoo: No you didn’t.

He takes a deep exhale of relief, falling back onto the mattress and thankful that it was just an accident on your part. You didn’t hear his voice and he didn’t get caught. Everything’s perfect.

10:17 am. Y/N: Did you send me a package by the way?

10:17 am. Hyunwoo: Yeah. Did you receive it? 10:17 am. Hyunwoo: I knew you were sick and didn’t get a chance to get some stuff. So I got my secretary to put together something and I sent it out yesterday with the fastest shipping.

He holds the phone between his hands, waiting for your message and watching the bubbles as you type. For some reason or another, it takes a long time but he figures that you were too speechless to say anything. The thought that his little gesture means so much puts a smile on his face.

10:20 am. Y/N: Thank you.

//

0 new messages.

It’s been two days and there’s been nothing from you.

Namjoon tries his best to brush it off, focus on different tasks and his other client’s significant others. There’s no point in contacting you, asking if you’re okay or what you’re doing - Hyunwoo wouldn’t do that and he shouldn’t either.

You’re probably getting over your cold, resting in bed and taking your medication - Namjoon can only hope so. But when his phone makes a bell-like sound and vibrates, he goes running for it.

6:39 pm. Y/N: Hey, sorry I haven’t been messaging you. Just been sleeping. 6:39 pm. Y/N: How’s work? Is everything going well? 6:40 pm. Y/N: I’m going out at the same café again, just grabbing a latte.

He takes a sigh of relief, thankful that his suspicions were correct. There’s nothing to worry about after all.

6:41 pm. Hyunwoo: Work’s been fine. 6:41 pm. Hyunwoo: but aren’t you sick? what are you doing out already?

6:42 pm. Y/N: You don’t have to worry about me. 6:42 pm. Y/N: I was tired of getting cooped up in the apartment. 6:43 pm. Y/N: I know how to take care of myself.

6:43 pm. Hyunwoo: at least dress warmly. wear your jacket, it’s chilly outside. your cold might get worse.

6:44 pm. Y/N: okay

//

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. But Namjoon doesn’t care anymore and those thoughts don’t plague him as much as it used to, especially when he’s pulling the emerald green door open and the bells chime to signal his entrance.

Unlike the last time, it’s bustling with people; couples on dates, students cramming for tests or exams, others grabbing something before heading home for the day. He stands in the back of the line, looking around for you. It’s been weeks since he’s last seen you and though he swore that he wouldn’t forget, your face has already started to fade in the back of his memory.

“Good evening. What would you like to order?”

“I’ll take a…” He looks up at the menu. “...iced americano.”

“Okay.” After the cashier asks for his name, she asks if he would like anything else and he shakes his head. “I’m sorry but we’re a bit busy tonight. You can take a seat and we’ll bring out the drink for you.”

“Thank you.”

Namjoon ganders to the waiting counter, noticing a cluster of people and he looks around for you. It’s only when he’s walking to the same table as he sat last time, does he realize that you’re there too at the same exact spot. He slides into the empty seat, tearing his eyes away when he realizes that he’s staring for too long. But you’re there in a cream coloured trench coat, looking out the window with your phone in your hands.

He steals only a few peeks before he tries to focus on staring at his phone; a black screen, waiting for it to light up with your message - though it never comes and his drink arrives quicker than his hopeless wish. The waitress comes with a tense smile, dark eyebags and messy hair - she hands Namjoon a white cup before walking over to your table with a tall glass. She disappears as quickly as she came even when his mouth is half-opened, hand half-raised and a protest is slipping through his lips.

“This isn’t my drink.”

“This must be yours then.” A voice out of the blue makes him turn his head and his eyes nearly pop out their sockets when he realizes that you’re the one talking to him.

Some quiet laughter bubbles out of your lips at his bewildered expression and you stand up with the drink in your hands. “I ordered a latte.” You slide it onto his table. “Not this iced americano. They probably got it mixed up. Seems like they’re busy today”

“Yeah.” He swallows hard, mouth hanging open and he blinks, closing the seam of his lips as you smile again. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” You nod your head, taking your latte white cup and sitting back down at your table. Namjoon rips his eyes away from you, still stunned and just as he’s trying to regain a sense of composure, his phone begins ringing.

It vibrates against the wooden table, convulsing while the music blares in the chattering shop and a few people turn their heads to look at him. Namjoon lurches for it, automatically noticing your name plastered at the front of his screen and he quickly hangs up.

A deep sigh leaves his mouth and he glances over at you. The phone is held up to your ear, a frown on your face as the call is rejected.

7:01 pm. Y/N: I was checking in. Are you busy rn?

The air is stifling, amiss and his palms are clammy. You’re too close for him, despite being a table away. Namjoon rubs his sweaty hands over his jeans, debating what to do and out of nervousness, he lifts his glass and takes three big gulps. As he finishes more than half the drink, he smacks it back down on the table and gets up to leave.

Namjoon doesn’t look back once as he walks out the door and he dismisses the thoughts that he swears...swears that you were looking at him and that your gaze was plastered on his back. That you were staring at him. That you took more than one glance.

//

You’re sitting on the couch, fixed blankly at the wall.

You’ve been thinking all day, the entire week for that matter and your mind is so bombarded with endless thoughts that you don’t notice how the day has fallen. When you reach over to switch the lamp on, the front door to your apartment beeps, handle turning.

“-financing the budget by ten percent! What did I say Jeon?!”

“Hyunwoo?”

He sighs, pulling in his suitcase and closing the door behind him. You get up, opening your mouth but he quickly draws his hand out. “I’m on the phone.” He silences you, walking away and into the bedroom. “Don’t you dare make any excuses. Do you even know who my fathe-”

His voice drowns out as he shuts the door and you fall back onto the couch again; staring at the wall blankly as if he didn’t come back home, as if it never happened.

“Hey.” His voice makes you flinch, shattering your trance. “There’s stuff in my suitcase if you want.”

“Welcome back.” You stiffly smile, soaking the sight of him in. You haven’t seen your fiancé in months yet he makes no effort to kiss, hug or smile at you - it’s not like you want him to though.

Instead, his eyes are glued to his phone screen as he texts, humming back simply in response.

“How was your trip?”

“Fine.”

“Did you eat yet?”

“Yup.”

You swallow hard before forcing your throat to clear. “Is it chilly in here? I feel like I’m catching a cold.”

“Oh.” He finally looks up at you. “Stay away from me then. I don’t want to catch it from you.”

You stay silent, watching as he turns and you follow him into the bedroom. “Go to the doctor’s. The last thing I need is a cold.”

“Hyunwoo.” You’re leaning on the doorway as he throws his phone onto the nightstand and pulls a fresh towel from the closet. “What do you think about me gaining ten pounds? I don’t need your approval, I’m just curio-”

“What?! Gain ten pounds?” He raises his brows, looking at you skeptically as he scoffs. “Purposely? Why would you do that?”

“Ugh.” There’s a long tense silence before he rolls his eyes. “Do whatever you want. I don’t know. Don’t ask me.”

He brushes past you, not realizing that your eyes are boring the floorboards. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

The noise of the door being shut, the shower knobs being turned and the water hitting the walls is what makes you move. You take two strides to your own phone and another two strides to sit on your bed before your knees give out. Your fingers are shaking as they wrap around the metal, the pad of your thumbs press against the screen and for a moment, you think of giving up. Maybe it’s all part of your delusion, maybe it’s really nothing at all. Maybe you’re wrong.  

But you know you can’t keep blinding yourself. You need to know the truth.

The message sends, slipping through your fingertips and into an unseen universe.

6:46 pm. Y/N: Do you miss me?

You tap your foot, forcing your eyes away and to the ceiling where you blink back tears. You’re gnawing on the bottom of your lip, not sure what to expect or what you’re even hoping for. But then you turn to Hyunwoo’s phone that’s sitting right there on the nightstand, in front of you.

Your phone vibrates in your hand.

You close your eyes and count to three seconds before looking down.

6:47 pm. Hyunwoo: Everyday.

You’re sick to your stomach. Nauseous. Confused. Angry.

You don’t flinch when your phone slips out of your hands and falls to the floor. You don’t know how much time passes by. You’re sitting in silence, staring at the wall.

“Hey.” For once he sounds concerned. “Are you okay? You look really pale.”

You swallow the thick lump in your throat, craning your neck slowly up to meet Hyunwoo’s eyes. He steps back, a little startled by how cold your gaze is and the words that leave your lips are far from sweet honey.

“We need to talk.”

//

You call again and he doesn’t understand why; hanging up in utter panic before temptation lures him to a decision he’ll regret.

9:01 pm. Y/N: Thank you for all you’ve done. Maybe I’m losing my mind but for the past few months, you’ve really helped me a lot. I feel like you’re a really considerate and sincere person. 9:02 pm. Y/N: Thank you.

Namjoon frowns at the message, muddled and bewildered. He takes a good five minutes to think of some sort of response but as he begins to type, there’s a knock on his desk.

“Mornin’.” His boss gives a tight lipped smile and he nods.

“Good morning, sir.” It’s not everyday that his boss walks around the office casually or even speaks to him. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothin’ wrong. Just Mr Lee...you know? Lee Hyunwoo.” Namjoon nods and his boss sighs. “Whelp, he’s done for. He let us know that he’s ending the contract early and he paid the extra fee and all that, so don’t worry. You got one less client now but you’ll probably get another one in a few days or so. Just hang on tight for now.”

All the words are delayed in his ears, taking longer to register and he’s confused even more than before. The day he’s been dreading - ending his only connection with you, has arrived sooner than he thought, completely out of the blue and Namjoon prays he’s dreaming.

“Wait.” He stands up from his chair, speaking louder than ever before in the office. A few people from their desks turn their heads up in curiosity before returning to their phones. His boss who had begun to walk away turns on his heel.

“Yes?”

“D-do you...do you know what happened?”

His boss shrugs lethargically. “He was pretty mad on the phone. I think his fiancée dumped him.”

//

It’s against his work policy to message you again. The contract’s ended. All connections must be cut.

But he does it anyway - when he’s out of his mind in the late night, his brain too scrambled and chaotic with thoughts of you to be able to sleep in serenity. Just as quickly as you came, now you were gone from his life.

You’re not a stranger - Namjoon knew you well enough but not enough to be called friends. You weren’t an acquaintance either but somewhere in the gray zones with no labels; a place where feelings and desperation are the strongest, where labels are wanted.

And all he wanted to know was what happened, even if it wasn’t his place. He needed to know what you were doing, how you were dealing with things, what you were feeling...if you were shouldering everything by yourself. He needed to say goodbye properly.

With every excuse he can think of, Namjoon finally musters up the courage to click ‘send’.

This time, it’s his own name.

2:03 am. Namjoon: Can I talk to you?

He waits an hour for your reply. The next day, he waits ten. He waits with the word ‘patience’ being repeated like a mantra for twenty hours, an entire day, three days and somehow it all morphs into two weeks.

He calls.

And he waits again. But the both times he calls, he’s met with empty rings and no voice, a long beep at the end to signal a dead line. On the third time, he finally hears someone and his eyes light up, he braces forward and his hands tighten together. His heart does a jump as he opens his mouth to speak-.....but it’s not you.

You’ve changed your number.

The days are grey, blurring together slowly and wrapping around him in a whirlwind in shades of the newspaper. He’s not sure how many days pass or months for that matter. They’re all the same anyways.

“Hey. Hello?” His co-worker is knocking on his desk but Namjoon’s stuck in a thoughtless daze. “EXCUSE ME!”

He flinches, blinking slowly twice as he looks up with a sigh. “Yes?”

“Listen..uh..Namson, right? Anyways, I was suppose to help with the interview process...you know, hiring some new people but I’m a bit busy. I’m actually heading out now…” He lifts the brown jacket in his hand, hitching his thumb to the front door in an exaggerated grin. Namjoon already knows what he wants and he exhales, opening his mouth to deny this stupid kid who thinks he can take advantage of him. But the kid cuts him off-

“I already said that you were going to do it for me.”

“What?”

“Thanks so much Namson.” His co-worker runs, smiling fearfully once over his shoulder before pushing the door open and running again.

Namjoon’s kindhearted and considerate by nature but he isn’t a pushover, especially recently. He doesn’t hold back his expressions of annoyance lately and with his big physique, his co-workers don’t shoot him looks of distaste or roll their eyes anymore, sometimes avoiding him out of fear.

It’s not like he’ll beat them up. He’s just really tired and things are getting to him when his days are all gray.

“Namjoon. Glad you could make it!” His boss bear hugs him for one second. “Anyways, you can just sit beside me and tell me what you think. I like to have three people so it looks like a panel of judges.”

The girl sitting in the other chair meet his eyes before she sighs and goes back to scratching the paint off her nails. “Let’s begin. We got a few applicants waiting.” His boss declares in a cheery smile but the pile of papers is quite thin. It’s not everyday that people would sign up for an odd job like this.

The process begins. If Namjoon thought his life was boring before, he was in for a real treat.

It’s worse than watching paint dry. He feels like he’s becoming brain dead.

“So what are your hobbies?” His boss’ smile is long wiped.

“I really….really….like painting lava lamps.” This lady with tight curls and a tie-dye shirt beams at the three.

He wonders where the company is putting up their job advertisements.

//

Three hours have passed and Namjoon’s about to call it quits until the next applicant walks through the door - pencil skirt, white blouse, black kitten heels and hair tied into a ponytail. His eyes double in size as you pull open the door with a smile, fresh face with no eye bags and completely relaxed. Namjoon’s frozen in his spot, mouth agape as he watches you take your seat at the center of the room.

He wonders if you notice him, realizes who he is. Maybe he should make a run for it...hide somewhere out of shame. Maybe he should ask you...question you a million things that he’s been desperate to know. Maybe, if, perhaps...why? There are too many questions, too many thoughts that cloud his head and he completely misses that the world is still spinning, that his boss is speaking, that you’re speaking. But he swears, your glance lasts a second longer on him.

“Why won’t you tell us about yourself.” Namjoon’s boss smiles at you, nodding his head.

You smile, tapping your foot a bit nervously. “I’m a good writer and I have a good work ethic. I haven’t been working recently because of….someone but I put in a lot of effort into the things I do. During my free time, I like to do a little bit of running and exercise.”

“Good. Good.” His boss nods, liking the things he’s hearing. “Now why do you need this job?”

You hum for a slight moment, eyes flickering onto Namjoon who’s still gazing at you in awe. The side of your lip tugs upwards and you stare back at him. “I broke it off with my fiancé about half a year ago and now I’m living on my own….”

“Wait.” The girl sitting next to Namjoon’s boss looks up at your words, eyes sparkling and she takes away the nail file from her other hand. After three and a half hours of dullness, she’s hooked onto the fragment of drama spoken from your lips. “Why did you break up with him?”

“Oh.” You give a sheepish smile, shrugging. “We were just different people and we weren’t on the same page anymore.”

You don’t seem to carry any bitterness, any resentments, speaking as if it was a mere bad dream.

“But-”

“Moving on.” His boss cuts off the girl, shifting back to topics about the job. “This is a really...peculiar career choice. We do things a bit differently around here, working a lot independently and with clients in the area of messaging and love. Why do you believe you’re qualified for this job?”

You relax, smiling warmly as you look into Namjoon’s orbs. He blinks back at you once as you part your lips-

“Because I’ve had first hand experience.”

//

You’ll get the job, he already knows with the way his boss nods at all your words and smiles at the end. Your application is placed into the special pile and you bow your head before leaving.

Namjoon urgently stands, excusing himself hastily as he follows you.

“Wait!”

You stop on your heel, turning around to face him.

He’s catching his breath, looking down at you and you pout your lips, scanning at him from head to toe. He’s a lot taller in the flesh than from your memories, shoulders broder and a lot cuter too. The anger and animosity you once felt for him from being lied to has long dissipated after you realized that it was stemming from your bitterness over Hyunwoo. But over time, the bitterness had faded away into memories and you let it. There was no point in hanging onto things that weren’t meant to be.

The two of you are simply staring at each other, gazing into the other’s orbs, searching their face for some sort of answer to an unknown question. There are so many things you want to ask each other, endless things to say or speak - too many things that it’s overwhelming and silence takes over. But everything is okay because he’s here and you are too, face to face.

You exhale a short breath, smiling at him. “I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you.” You extend your arm, smile growing at his bewildered expression.

He clears his throat awkwardly, lifting his arm to shake your hand in a firm grip. “Namjoon.”

It’s the first. The first official meeting, the first exchange of names and this time -

There are no lies.

[pfaerie]

1. Always post the rules.

2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you.

3. Write 11 questions on your own.

4. Tag 11 people.

Tagged by @noiryn

Do you eat breakfast? If so, what does it normally consist of?  Nah. I don’t like breakfast. I will force myself to eat a Rice Krispie Treat and a Slim Jim if I have morning classes tho. Opinion on music playing while studying/working? Sometimes it’s too distracting, but I’m okay with stuff that doesn’t have lyrics, like a movie/video game soundtracks. What’s the strangest encounter you ever had with a wild animal? One time at Disney World, a bunny got inside the Garden Grill Restaurant (the one that spins around slowly while you eat) and I told my family, but because the restaurant spins, it took like 3 revolutions for me to point it out to them then point it out to the waitress bc it was hiding behind a potted plant by the host podium. Nobody believed me at first bc there were fake animals in the little exhibits!  Tea, coffee, or juice? Juice If you had to pick one type of protein (pork, beef, chicken, soy, (etc)) to eat for the rest of your life, which would you choose?  Beef. I love steak way too much. Do you wear hats outside? What kinds? Nope! Not big on hats. The closest I get is a beanie in the winter What’s the main reason you’re still on this site? Habit and I have a decent following to show off my art Anything of yours that you wouldn’t want to share with family? My computer Shower in the morning or evening? Not to sound too gross, but whenever the feeling of being too dirty wins over my depression (usually the evening though) When you’re mad at someone, do you forgive quickly when they’re apologetic? Yea, though usually the ppl who apologize to me don’t need to and the people who do need to apologize never do. Favorite way to dance?  I can’t dance at all! Sometimes I just like to do a little shimmy when I’m having fun.

Favorite animated character of all time? What’s your opinion of corn on the cob? Do you have a favorite flower? Does your family collect something (ie: swords, unicorn statues, shot glasses)? Sweaters or sweatshirts? Favorite candle scent? What was the last book you read? Did you like it? If you were a college professor and could teach literally anything, what would you want to teach? What’s your favorite class to play in RPGs? Opinion of Crocs? Favorite TV Trope? (ie: Extended Disarmament, Belligerent Sexual Tension)

I tag @pardalia @slytherinbunny @pitfights @wadewilsonparker @muckkles @helianthian @44003 @electricgale @freedomconvicted @hellfires & anyone else who wants to do this! :)

[transssexualheart]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll

1- what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpaper?my phone has pictures of my friends and my desktop is still dan avidan i keep forgetting to change it

2- have you ever had a crush on a teacher?no

3- what as your last text message?sent? it was “me too”

4- what do you see yourself doing in ten years?probably dying

5- if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?in someone’s arms

6- what was your coolest halloween costume?uhh probably last years even tho it wasn’t that great bc i made it myself and had a styled wig and everything

7- what was your favorite 90s show?i was not alive in the 90s

8- who was your last kiss?still zee

9- have you ever been stood up?no

10- favorite ice cream flavor?strawberry or cotton candy

11- have you ever been to las vegas?no

12- your favorite pair of shoes?probably my pink ones they’re soft and have tiny one inch platforms

13- honestly, have you ever cheated on a significant other?no

14- what is your favorite fruit?watermelon or strawberry

15- have you ever talked to anyone on tumblr that your could see yourself dating/having sex with? if possible?well i mean one of my exes i met over tumblr so it’s not a wild concept to me but currently i’m not like,,, interested in others

16- are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?long term

17- do you smoke? if so, what?no

18- what do you do to get over your anger?rant about it on this blog or sometimes to a friend i guess

19- do you believe in god?idk man

20- does the person you’re in love with know it?yeah

21- favorite position?sleeping

22- what’s your horoscope sign?leo

23- your fears?being abandoned, myself sometimes, everyone secretly hating me, never being loved, etc

24- how many pets do you have? what kind?three, a cat and two fish

25- what never fails to turn you on?uhhhhhh

26- your idea of a perfect first date?idk uh,, get food maybe hold hands a little 

27- what is something most people don’t know about you?idk,, i guess most people don’t know what i look like during a full on breakdown that i’m not trying to disguise

28- what makes you feel the happiest?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

29- what store do you shop at most often?i dont shop a lot

30- how do you feel about oral? giving and or receiving? never gave or received, both sound good to me tho

31- do you believe in karma?idk

32- are you single?yeah

33- do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? the best way to apologize is to mean it and not expect forgiveness if you really fucked up and to be genuine and honest and if you do those things it shouldn’t really matter whether you choose flowers or candy

34- are you a good swimmer?i mean,, i won’t drown

35- coffee or tea?tea

36- online shopping or shopping in person?i do both

37- would you rather be older or younger than your current age?i’d prefer to keep my age so i don’t fuck up the timeline of my life thank u very much

38- cats or dogs?how can i choose

39- are you a competitive person?i don’t think so

40- do you believe in aliens?yes

41- do you like dancing?don’t really do it much 

42- what kind of music do you listen to?many kinds, mostly anything but country

43- what is your favorite cartoon character?how can i choose just one

44- where are you from?albany

45- eat at home or eat out?eat out

46- how much more social are you when you’re drunk?i’ve never been drunk

47- what was the last thing you bought for yourself?i don’t remember

48- why do you think your followers follow you?idk actually why do u guys follow me

49- how many hours do you sleep at night?it varies, sometimes like ten sometimes none

50- what worries you most about the future?i pretty much rely on the fact that i’ll probably die before it matters but if i don’t die i’ll have no idea what i’m doing

51- if you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?not very, i’m not friends with myself tho so

52- are you happy with yourself?no, never really have been

53- what do you wish you didn’t know?i don’t know

54- what big lesson could people learn from your life?i guess,, not to take people for granted 

55- if you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?what

56- what’s your favorite website?i visit this hellsite most often i guess

57- what’s the habit your proudest of breaking?the only habit i could think of that i broke was biting my nails

58- what was your most recent trip of over 50 miles?idk how many miles i travel bc i don’t drive

59- what’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?idk

60- what do you order when you eat chinese food?sweet and sour chicken and white rice 

61- if you had to be names after one of the fifty states what would it be?no

62- if you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?alright so there are three things that i feel like i’m able to do well those three things are draw, write, and play pokemon and i’m a failure at everything else i do so probably an art class or creative writing class

63- favorite kind of chips?i like doritos

64- favorite kind of sandwich?grilled cheese

65- which do you use more often, dictionary or thesaurus?dictionary

66- have you ever been stung by a bee?yeah, only once, and i have a history of not fucking eating for whole days and that was one of those days and i guess the sting just triggered the dehydration and all that and i got really dizzy and my legs gave out and my mom had to carry me home

67- what’s your favorite form of exercise?my what now

68- are you afraid of heights?more afraid of what i’d do to myself than the height itself

69- what’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?eight grade science, i had a bunch of friends in that class and we hated the teacher at the time and the shit he did and we were constantly like going insane and here’s the main reason: my mom went to school with that teacher and she managed to find a fuckin. story that he wrote in 11th grade and she showed it to me and my god it was so bad and the main character was such a self insert and i was like “oh my god this is amazing” and you know what i fuckin did? u know what i did? i decided to make c o p i e s of the story so i could bring it into school and show my friends. so i had like ten copies and we gave one to my friend kevin however. we gave it to him DURING science class. so instead of doing his work kevin is sitting back there reading this story and laughing at it and the teacher is like “what are you doing kevin?” and kevin, instead of putting it away and being like “my work”, was like “oh i’m reading your 11th grade story” and at this point i’m like “oh fuck” and then the teacher asked where he got it and he points to me and i’m like “OH FUCK” so he comes over and asks where i got it and i’m like “surprise my mom went to school with you” and he’s like “i haven’t seen this story in years” and guess who’s like “DO U WANT A COPY” and reaches over me and into my backpack to pull out a fuckin copied version :^) anyway that day was wild some girl i never talk to who didn’t even know my dead name let alone my actual name came up to me asking for a copy

70- what’s your favorite breakfast?pancakes or waffles

71- do you like guacamole?no

72- have you ever been in a physical fight?no

73- what/who are you thinking about right now?um

74- do you like cuddling?yes

75- are you holding onto something you need to let go of?can we not have this conversation over tumblr’s ask system thanks

76- have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?i live with myself every day lmao

77- favorite city you’ve been to?nyc!!

78- would you break the law to save a family member?probably

79- talk about an embarrassing moment?me, as a person

80- are there any causes you strongly believe in?idk

81- what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?not sure

82- fav day of the week?none

83- do you consider yourself sexually open minded?idk what that means

84- how do you feel about porn?i don’t watch it really, but if that’s your thing then it’s your thing

85- which living celebrity would you like to know?idk

86- who was your hottest ex?it’s hard for me to like,, determine that because my sexual attraction to someone usually isn’t there until i start liking them romantically (in most cases, there’s people i never liked romatically but found attractive or people i found attractive before i liked them but that’s not the case with anyone i actually dated) and it disappears when i don’t like them romantically anymore so ???? also rude question especially considering at least two of my exes follow me here

87- do you want/have kids?don’t have them, might have them but that’s dependent on whether or not my partner is able to take care of kids i’m not gonna have kids if i know that my partner can’t be a good parent to them. also still not sure if i want them myself

88- has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?no

89- do you get easily distracted?hell yeah

90- ass or titties?why… choose…..

91- what is your favorite word?to use in writing, probably “gentle”. to use in speech, probably “fuckin”

92- how do you feel about tattoos?i want a lot, i have two

93- do you have any pets?this was already a question?

94- how tall are you? 5′5

95- how old are you?14

96- 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?i don’t get complimented on specifics, the most i get it usually like “you look nice today” or sometimes ppl say they like my makeup but that’s not a physical feature of mine

97- is there anything you’re really passionate about?i love,, the jims and the piano

98- do you have trust issues?idk, i don’t let most people see me cry or see me having a breakdown and i only really trust a few people with most stuff and it’s usually because there was something that happened in the past that allowed them to already know stuff like that and they were good about it and i was like “oh, then they’ll be alright about it and i don’t have to explain myself to them because they already know” but?????

99- do you believe in love at first sight?god no, what if they’re a dick?? u can’t judge a book by it’s cover. also i think that now i’ll have to know someone pretty well to start liking them because of past and current events

100- what are some words that you live by? why? i don’t have a specific quote or anything but. if you love someone tell them. i’ve said this before, and i don’t mean specifically romantically in fact in some cases you should keep that to yourself so no one is made uncomfortable but like. tell your mom or your best friend or your dad or your grandma that you love them because they could be gone real soon or you could be gone real soon and they should know that you love them before that happens

thank u for asking

[softgaypunk]

Crayola Crayon Color Asks

(I’m just gonna fill it out, I tag whoever wants to do it)

Macaroni and Cheese: What makes you think of your childhood?

anything painful :) and also horses bc those were a fixation of mine

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?

smoking, crying, painting, texting my buds, drinking tea

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

i don’t like sharon needles? at all? idk if thats unpopular but. oh and I don’t like ketchup or other condiments

Bittersweet: Has someone you loved ever hurt you?

almost everyone i’ve ever loved has hurt me :)

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.

i combined two nicknames- little space prince (from my ex) and peach (from my friends),, and my profile picture represents a lot about me- i like space and love and balance and contrast

Outer Space: Do you ever feel like you’re an outcast from others?

constantly

Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?

i like rita’s ice- the mint chocolate chip ice is my favorite

Freckle: Do you have any marks on your skin? How do you feel about them?

i have a bajillion freckles and i love them! i also have lots of stretchmarks and theyre cute! i have a bunch of scars but theyre interesting and remind me to keep going!

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?

um. i dont think so. ppl are surprised that i have synesthesia?

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?

probably a bee bc i try my best and humanity kills me 

Granny Smith Apple: What’s something everyone else likes that you don’t?

ketchup, flavored chips, mayo, ice cream, cake, 13 reasons why (dont even get me started on how much i hate that show)

Dandelion: What’s a pet peeve of yours?

ppl that use terms that aren’t ok. white ppl that use the n word, neurotypicals who use the word ‘psycho’ or ‘bipolar’ when referring to not actually bipolar people, cishet ppl that use the word f*g or d*ke.

Atomic Tangerine: What gets you motivated to do a difficult task?

crying and/or telling myself that it’s necessary (i also make lists)

Wisteria: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

i think i try really hard and thats kinda hardcore

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?

not good lmaoo,, , like a whiny lil baby 

Plum: Are you insecure about anything?

most things :-)

Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?

with my friends

Tickle Me Pink: How do you try to cheer others up when they’re sad?

“ayo i empathize with you. i’m not gonna tell you it gets better, but i will tell you that i’ll be here with you to be there for you however you need me to be.” and i also make people food

Wild Strawberry: Do you care what others think about you?

yes

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.

get a plant, theyre pretty cool. also wait 24 hours before doing something impulsive. 

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?

“turtles eating strawberries video”

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

it’s sad and most people that im friends with know about it

Electric Lime: What genre of music do you listen to?

alternative? sometimes. rap? sometimes. the heathers soundtrack? usually.

Night Owl: Describe a very interesting dream that you had.

i don’t have interesting dreams

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?

the crushing reality of being alive. i also think a lot about race and institutional oppression and how i can be an ally and advocate without talking for people 

Grasshopper Green: Describe the area where you live.

rainy, green, university

Misty Moss: Is there anything you regret?

most of the things i regret are not actually my fault

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

ya! as i said earlier i rly love stretchmarks. i love things that a lot of ppl genuinely dont? 

Sunny Side Up: Do you like waking up in the mornings, or would you rather sleep in?

sleep in wtf

Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them.

3 dogs (all big and loud and cuddly), 3 cats (all soft and sassy), and a lot of fish (wet)

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.

sad, sweatpants, plant, queer, little

Timberwolf: Do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?

yea and its not healthy

Freshly Squeezed: What excites you?

good grades? accomplishments? attention?

Firefly Red: What gives you purpose?

“be the person you needed when you were younger”

Tiny Teapot Tan: Do you consider yourself to be attractive/cute?

not right now but im working on it

Rain Drop Blue: Describe the weather outside.

rainy, dank, grey

Sweet Pea Green: Do you have/want children?

nope. 

Pussywillow: Do you like being around others, or do you like being alone?

i like being with others when i like the other ppl. 

Jack ‘O’ Lantern Orange: What’s your biggest fear and why?

abandonment and bunnies (unrelated but both terrifying)

Baby Bunny Pink: Do you look young for your age, or do you look older than you are?

young for my age, i have a total baby face

Mystic Maroon: What confuses you, and why?

ppl that are one day REALLY NICE and then rly mean

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?

sagittarius, and heck yes

Petal Pink: Describe your fashion sense as well as what you’re wearing right now.

i want to dress in flannels and jeans and beanies and cool gauges. rn im in an old shirt and a pair of boxers

Mountain Meadow: Do you like taking care of others, or do you prefer being care of?

both? i find meaning in taking care of others, but personally i like to be taken care of

Fuzzy Duckling Yellow: Is there something from childhood that you haven’t outgrown?

mental illness! also i wear the same size shoe that i did in 8th grade

Brussel Sproutlet: Do you have any unhealthy habits?

splitting

Razzle Dazzle Rose: Describe an ideal date.

they’re nice and we go see art or eat breakfast foods

Periwinkle: What’s something ordinary that has personal meaning to you?

its a lil rhino trinket thats pretty ordinary but blackheart gave it to me when he visited

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?

fuck i really do

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?

fuck, i really do

Purple Mountains Majesty: How does someone earn your respect?

don’t be mean to wait staff, don’t say problematic shit, and use my pronouns.