#eat my ass if ur mad about it

[sexynetra]

Guess who wrote a fic loosely based on this video 🤭

Thank you @thecollectionsof for encouraging me <333

“You trust me, don’t you?” Dawn smiled hopefully — a dazzling grin that had Amanda’s brain shorting out.

She did trust Dawn. More than she trusted anyone in the world.

[sunsetsandsunshine]

If I may request a Rise fic!! I’m a huge sucker for comfort/cheer up tickles, so could you possibly write a disaster twins fic with Lee Leo and Ler Donnie where Leo’s been having a pretty bad day (because of what is your choice!) and ends up feeling self conscious about himself and stuff, so Donnie decides to cheer up his twin!! Please don’t feel rushed and make sure you’re taking care of yourself ^_^

~ 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜!!! ~

💜💙 𝙵𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: 𝙰𝚗𝚘𝚗 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 💜💙

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙼𝚂𝙺𝙽𝚂𝙽𝙺𝙼𝙳𝙽𝚂𝙹 𝙽𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙴 𝙾𝙷 𝙼𝚈 𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄. 𝙶𝙴𝚃. 𝙼𝙴!!! 𝙶𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝙻𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝙹𝙰𝙼!!! 𝙴𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚜…𝙶𝚘𝚍, 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑. 𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢..𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎…𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚗 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎??? 𝙻𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎!!!˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟺,𝟹𝟿𝟺

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 🐢💜

𝚂𝚞𝚖��𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙳𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍…𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚠, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚖𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚊 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝…𝙱𝚞𝚝 *𝙰𝙷𝙴𝙼* 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜:  @shut-up-jo @itzsana-kiddingmenow @aceofspades-doodles @ziipzeepzop-eez

@tmntheadforever123 @rice-cake-teen10 @aninabanina6969

@savemeafruitjuice @cedarrthefluffylee @saturnzskyzz @titters-and-tingles

@someone1348 @my-l0v3r-v3rse @snipersiniora @mistyandsnow

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙰𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚢𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔!!! 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚣𝚢…

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙷𝙴𝙴 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 🕺🏾✨💞🎶˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me again.” Leo grumbled under his breath as he rested his mouth on his palm, glancing away from his brother as he sighed loudly. 

“Well maybe if you weren’t so fucking reckless I wouldn’t need to.” Donnie growled lowly, glaring down at his twin.

“I’m not a baby, Don. I don’t need to be supervised like I’m some bomb triggered to explode.” The younger said in exasperation, lying down on his bed whilst grabbing a comic book to read off of his desk.

If Leo was going to be told off and scolded by his dear beloved brow-loving brother, he should at least have something to occupy himself with in the meanwhile. 

The softshell groaned eternally at his little brother’s action, quickly snatching the piece of literature out of the other’s hands and throwing it effortlessly to the ground. 

Uninterested lime green eyes locked with a determined yet fierce light golden, both of them refusing to look away or blink to show their dominance.

But after a while, the red eared slider grew more impatient, looking away again as he picked a hangnail on his thumb, “If you’re going to yell at me, can you just get it over with? I saw a reddit post predicting what’s going to happen in The Umbrella Academy season four and I need to read it.” 

“You can read that later, Nardo. I promise you, that reddit post isn’t going to fly away.” The elder said as he pinched the bridge of his snout, “What I need you to do right now is acknowledge what you did today was stupid, alright?” 

Leo looked away from his older brother, scoffing lightly, “I do stupid things all the time. What stupid action of mine are you wanting to scream at me for this time?” 

The softshell turtle took a couple deep breaths at that comment, drumming his fingers on his left arm in a soothing motion because he was NOT going to give into the urge of strangling his twin brother…

…No matter how much he deserved it.

“I’m not planning on screaming at you— that won’t help anyone or anything.” The purple banded turtle explained calmly…but you could see and tell he was starting to lose his paitence. 

“But you want to.” The red eared slider pressed on. 

“Leo…please. I don’t want to argue right now.” 

“We’re not arguing. We’re just kindly discussing my oh-so stupid descision that unfolded earlier today, right?” The younger twin smirked smugly, his eyes locking once again with his brother. 

When it came to arguments, the leader in blue always had this wonderful tactic to avoiding things: attempting to annoy the other person so much that they drop the subject they wanted to discuss with him completely.

It always worked with Raph…which the red eared slider didn’t know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

But the only downside of doing this tactic was his dumb twin saw right through it…

…And Leonardo despised it. 

“Nardo…you know what I’m referring to. And stop picking, please. Your going to hurt yourself.” The older attempted to say in a tranquil voice, but it personally just sounded like he was one second away from losing. his. shell.

“I sadly do not know what your referring to.” The blue cladded teen said coyly, picking on his hangnail more desperately now, “Care to enlighten me, Tello?” 

Donnie’s expression hardened ever so slightly at his younger brother’s absolute persistence on annoying him out of his right mind so he could eventually drop the subject…but the softshell turtle was not budging.

His twin would have to try way harder than that.

“I’d love to.” The light golden eyed mutant said in a fake sweet tone as he walked over to lean his shell on Leo’s closed door, crossing his arms in disaproval. The elder grabbed his brother’s sword, planting it right next to his foot so the blue banded turtle couldn’t reach for it. 

The red eared slider’s cocky grin turned to a small grimace (shake) as he soon came to terms with what his older brother was doing…

…He physically could not leave from this conversation…literally.

Leonardo crossed his arms, trying to mimick the other’s serious demeanor but was only met with an icy glare in return. 

“What you did during today’s mission was completley reckless and idiotic, Leonardo…and you know it.” The second oldest said, “I had that thug exactly where I wanted him but noooooo. Because you saw me trip you thought it would be a spectacular idea to throw yourself on top of me as that hooligan tried to hit me with his bat!!” Donatello seethed. 

“We’ve been over this multiple times, Leo! There was no reason for you to do that!” The light golden eyed teen yelled, his glare only hardening more as he saw the younger stuttering over his words to try to defend himself.

“I’m not done.” The taller teen growled, all of his calmness and collectiveness thrown completley out of the window.

The slider slightly flinched (which went un-noticed by the other) at his brother’s genuine angry tone, his left leg fidgeting and bouncing up and down like crazy. 

His tactic was really starting to not work in his favour at all…

“Just…stop putting yourself in the middle of danger like you’re just expecting the rest of us to just watch. We’re your family…and most importantly, we can defend ourselves just fine.” 

“Well ihisn’t that hypocritic!” Leonardo scoffed before creasing his eye ridges together in genuine confusion, mumbling to himself, “Hyp…uh…hypocrotic? Hyp…Hypocratic…?” 

“Hypocritical?” The older deadpanned.

“YES! THAT WORD!” Leo said, “When we were fighting Kraang Prime on the ship and he went to take a blow at Mikey…what did you do?”

Donatello scowled, his eyes not leaving his twin, “…I went in front of him and shielded him with my mystic tech.”

“Exactly.” The lime green eyed mutant scoffed, “And how is that any different from what I did, hm?”

“BECAUSE I HAD A PLAN!!!” Donatello shouted, “I planned to accordingly go in front of Mikey so my sheild could protect both him and me. Did it end up turning out perfect? Fuck no. Kraang Prime slashed right through it and me and Mikey went tumbling towards the ground…” The glasses wielding teen said through clenched teeth. 

The light golden eyed teen rubbed his face tiredly, his hands clenching and unclenching in frustration, “But I had a plan. You on the other hand, just zoomed recklessly on top of me and hoped for the best.”

“…I saved you, didn’t I…?” The younger twin mumbled out meekly, causing Donatello’s blood to absolutley boil. 

“That’s not the point!!!” The elder said as he clenched his hands at his sides again.

“Then what is?!” Leo said desperately, “Because from the looks of it, it just seems like you want to yell at me for just doing my job.” 

Leonardo pulled on his mask tails anxiously, trying to calm himself down but ultimately just making himself feel worse by doing the action, “I’ve been trying to be a better leader—“

“Leo—“

“—For you and Mikey and April and Raph and Casey and C.J. a-and Dad! But it seems like no matter what the hell I do there’s always something I’m doing WRONG!!!” The younger twin shouted, blinking back tears as he glared at the ground as if it took his Jupiter Jim comic.

Which…it did. The blue banded mutant wanted it back now, actually…

“I saved you! I-I didn’t even get hurt by doing it but somehow there’s an issue…” The lime green eyed teen murmured, both of his legs bouncing up and down as he tugged on his mask tails harder, “There always is…”

“Leonardo can you please just listen to me?” The older twin said in irritation. 

“But Don I’m—“

“No, Leo! Just listen! That’s all you need to do!” Donnie snapped as he cut his brother off, “I don’t want you leaping head first into harms way! At all! Especially if you don’t have a plan!” The softshell turtle exclaimed as he flapped his hands against the side of his thighs, but his eye contanct remaining on his little brother.

“Oho so now you don’t trust me well enough to know that I can handle myself in combat?” Leo said in a last desperate attempt to make his brother drop the conversation.

“I…” The young scientist’s eye twitched, his eyebrows creasing together as he had to physically restrain himself to not beat the ever living crap out of the other teen, “THIS IS NOT ABOUT TRUST, NARDO!” The light golden eyed mutant screamed desperately, his hands flapping faster as the red eared slider shrunk at his usage of tone, “This is about you not even thinking about what would happen to yourself when you do reckless nonsense like this.”

Leo glanced to the side, his eyes watering as he bit the inside of his cheek.

He just wanted to help and be the leader his brother’s deserved…

But he always found a way to fuck it up without even noticing, huh?

"You don't think about what could happen to you and I hate it!” The elder cried, “What would’ve happened if Raph didn’t come behind the guy and knocked him out cold at the last second, huh?! Would you have just stayed right on me as he continued to beat you with his bat?!”

Leonardo bit the inside of his cheek harder, his legs bouncing up and down more as his fingernails dug unforgivingly into his arms, “I-I’m sorry, Donnie—”

“Or would you have tried to fight him instead?! Mind you, you dropped your sword before coming to me so you’d have no weapon to defend yourself.” 

“You don't think about how much it scares me when you do dumb shit like that! I hate seeing you get hurt…I freaking loathe it.” Donnie rested the back of his head on Leo’s door, taking a couple deep breaths and hugging himself in an attempt to calm himself down.

Jeez…when the hell had he started yelling? His throat stung like a bitch now…

And when had he started shaking like a bobby head?!

The older twin’s expression softened, pinching the bridge of his snout once more, “I care about you…so fucking much, okay…?” The purple banded turtle said gently as he gradually started to simmer down and become more calm, “Your my twin…my little brother. And I hate to be repetitive but I-I just despise seeing you hurt…physically or emotionally…so please just…”

The young scientist’s eyes widened, peering down at his brother who did not seem to be following…at all. 

Leo’s eyes were wide as saucers as he hit his arm with his fist repeatedly whilst obviously trying to suck in whatever tears dared to try and escape. 

The taller turtle basically ran to his distressed twin, trying to stop him from harming himself any further but was only met with a low grunt.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Fucking shit. 

Wonderful job, Donatello! You yelled at your brother so much he shut down!

Even though you knew he can’t fucking stand being yelled at and the whole point of you even being here was to explain what he did wrong collectively and calmly because that was the exact oppositeof what Raph does when he’s worried…

But no! You yelled at him anyway.

Wonderful job, Donatello…wonderful. job. 

The older twin sighed sadly, gently grabbing his brother’s wrists so he would stop hitting himself. The two brother’s shared eye contact once again, an unsure lime green meeting an understanding yet uncertain light golden.

“Nardo…” The softshell started, squeezing the other’s hands gently, “…Are you with me, bud…?”

Leo just nodded quietly, squeezing back. 

“God…Nardo I’m so sorry…” The older muttered, “I don’t…I don’t know why the hell I lost my cool like that. I-I’m sorry I yelled. I shouldn’t of yelled…I-I just…” Donatello sighed, squeezing his brother’s hands once again. “I’m not angry with you. I…I was just frustrated.”

“Well, no…let me rephrase: I am angry with you— livid even. You know damn well enough that when you do those kinds of things my heart literally jumps out of my shell. I need you to put into consideration that I would like to live to at least seventy-seven…”

The younger twin giggled wetly, fidgeting with his brother’s fingers as he spoke, “…Why seventy-seven?”

“Albert Einstein died when he was seventy-six…I can and will outlive him.” The light golden eyed teen said matter-of-factly, “But back to what I was initially saying…I know you meant well. You saw that I was in trouble…and you dropped literally everything in order to help me get out of said trouble. You don’t think of what happens to you…you just do it because you’ll know if you do we’ll be alright…”

“I-I just…I just wanted to protect you…I-I just wanted to help…” Leo tried to explain.

“I know. I know, Lee…” Donatello sighed, rubbing the slider’s knuckles gently with his thumb, “But you need to understand that with you trying to protect us that way, your putting us in the same situation your trying to keep us away from.” The elder explained lightly, smiling softly as him and his twin’s forehead’s touched. 

“You’re getting hurt— or at the very least almost getting hurt. We’re feeling the same anguish and guilt you would feel if any of us did that. I get that you want to be a good leader and shit…but you can lead well without doing that…okay?” 

Leo fiddled with the other’s fingers a bit more, his bouncing leg starting to calm a bit, “I’ll…try to be more careful when it comes to me protecting you guys like that. When I see you all in trouble…I just…react. I don’t really care about what happens to me as long as you guys end up okay. But…I’ll try to be more careful. And if I ever end up, like, being a bit too reckless…you can just tell me…deal?”

“Deal.” Donnie nodded, squeezing Leo’s hands one last time before letting go, wiping his twin’s eyes with his hoodie sleeve, “Now please stop crying or you’re going to make me start crying.” 

Leo snorted, examining the other’s now tearing up expression, “I think it’s a bit too late for that…” 

“GAH! FUHUCK!” Donnie cursed, wiping his own eyes as the slider laughed loudly at his exclamation.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Leo…don’t you think you’re getting a bit too big for this…?” Donatello grumbled as Leonardo was on his lap, getting all nice and comfy as he rested his chin on the older’s shoulder. “Noooope.” Leo drawed out, making a dramatic popping noise at the end of the 'p', “'Sides, this is what you get for making me emo earlier.”

“…I said I was sorry…I didn’t mean to shout at you like that. I was just concerned…” 

“I know that, you worrywart. I was just kidding.” The lime green eyed teen said lovingly, squishing his brother into a tighter embrace. The older let out a short shriek at the hug but of course didn’t mind the other being so clingy. 

If the young scientist really and truly did mind? Leo would’ve been pushed to the floor by now. 

The two twins shared a comfortable silence…well…a semi-comfortable silence.

The purple banded teen felt…off. His younger brother had this…look in his eyes; like he wanted to say something but was afraid of what Donnie would say or how Donnie would react.

Which was so damn dumb Donatello didn’t even know how to explain it.

“…There’s something else on your mind.” The taller turtle hummed, his suspicions only rising as the other glanced to the side. “Uhm…no there isn’t. See? This is why I call you a worrywart.” Leonardo said, tapping his fingers on his thigh nervously. 

Very convincing Leo…very convincing.

“Don’t even try lying to me, Leon. My older brother and twin senses are tingling. You can’t argue against that kind of logic.” The scientist said matter-of-factly. 

“What are you, Spiderman?” The younger snorted. 

“We shall never know.” The older shrugged, a small smile spreading to his face as he saw the other snort softly at his statement, “Now stop deflecting. Spill.” 

“…Can you…adjust my elbow braces…?” The red eared slider muttered.

“…Why can’t you do it?” The other questioned. Not in a malicious way; he was just genuinely curious. 

“I like it when you do it. You make it more firm, y'know?” The blue banded turtle whined dramatically, “Pleeeeeease?”

“Ugh, Jesus— fine. But drop the pout…you look ridiculous.” The taller mutant sighed, lightly grabbing his brother’s arm as he readjusted the braces. 

The purple banded turtle meticulously took off the other’s left arm brace, tracing his twin’s elbow to make sure it was healing correctly— which the slider couldn’t help but wriggle slightly to.

As the older twin put the brace back on, he looked at the other turtle in complete worry, “…Why are you squirming around so much?” Donatello asked in confusion. 

“…No reason.” Leonardo stated, but let out a tiny squeak as Donnie lightly pinched his forearm. 

“Yohou okay…?” The glasses wielding mutant giggled.   

“I-I’m fihine!” The smaller turtle insisted, covering his mouth as he let out a loud shriek in result to his brother now lightly scribbling his forearm. “EEEEE! P-Plehease moohoove yohour hahahand!!” The younger sputtered out, hiding his face in the crook of the scientist’s neck which the older turtle couldn’t help but let his heart melt to.

“Oh.” Donatello hummed, biting back an amused laugh, “Sorry. Sometimes I forget how ticklish you are…”

“Snrt I-Ihihi’m nahat ticklish. I juhust don’t wahant your hand thehere…” 

And isn’t that quaint. 

If Donnie had a penny for every time Leo said he 'wasn’t ticklish', the softshell would be richer than Elon Musk.

“…Right. So…you wouldn’t mind me doing this then?” The young genius mused as he scribbled one hand over his twin’s ribs. “EEEEHEH! Duhuhude noHOH!! F-Fuhuck yohou!” The younger twin managed through his small giggles, pushing on his brother’s plastron to try and escape while he still could.

The elder laughed fondly at his little brother’s futile actions, hugging him closer as he lightly tickled him, “Nahardo! My brohohother in Christ gehet back here or you’re gohoing to fahall off of the bed!

“N-NOHO!! LEHET ME GO!” The lime green eyed teen screeched loudly, kicking his legs and pushing even harder on the other’s plastron, his eye’s widening in panic as his older brother casually lifted him up and pinned his arms above his head, his plastron now facing up on the bed.

Eugh boy…

Donnie grinned, sitting on the other’s thighs as he wiggled his unoccupied fingers in the air near the slider’s side, “That’s better~!”

“WAHAIT WAHAHAIT snrt PLEHEASE DEEHEE!!” The red eared slider cried, kicking his legs from underneath the scientist.

If he was going to go down…he would at least go down fighting. 

“I haven’t even touched you yet, you goof…” The older twin chuckled. 

“B-BUHUT YOHOUR GOHOHONNA!” 

“'Gonna' what, exactly?”

“TihiHICKLE ME!!” 

“Tickle you? Well, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” Donatello snickered, using his free hand to skitter his fingers along the crook’s of the younger’s neck. 

The blue banded turtle squealed, shaking his head back in forth whilst scrunching his shoulders, “GAHaha— snrt EEEEHEEHEH oho cohome snrt OHAHAN!!” 

“What’s wrong, Leo? I thought you said you weren’t ticklish~?” The older teased.

“Snrt STHDHAHAH! Shuhut UP! IHI’M naHAT!” The younger shouted, tugging and pulling his arms to try and get his hand’s free from the other’s grasp. Donnie just laughed softly at the action, wiggling his fingers above his little brother’s stomach. 

The lime green eyed teen’s eyes widened in panic, thrashing in the hold to try and loosen his brother’s grip but the purple banded turtle did not budge even a smidge. 

Leo’s laughs became more giddy and loud as he continued to squirm, small squeals and snorts escaping his beak as his twin brother’s hand went sloooooowly to his stomach. 

“N-NOHO NONONONO DAHA— snrt DOHON!!” The smaller turtle snorted, hiding his face in the side of his arm which Donnie couldn’t help but giggle to. 

The light golden eyed mutant rested his hand on the slider’s plastron, making the younger turtle’s laugh raise almost a thousand octaves. 

“DOHON’T snrt DOHON’T DOHOHON’T snrt YOU DARE!! YOHOUR SOHO MEEHEEHEEAN!!” Leonardo whined, hiding deeper into his arm and becoming a giggly flustered mess.

The older twin shook his head fondly at his little brother’s embarrassed state, taking the opportunity to tickle the younger’s stomach while he wasn’t looking. 

Leo let out a loud scream, descending into high-pitched cackles as even louder snorts followed, “HAHAHAHELP!! IHI’M SNRT BEEHEEING SLAHAHAUTERED!!” 

“I’m quite literally only using one hand, Nardo. Stop being dramatic.” The light golden eyed teen mused whilst watching his brother snort and squirm, “And here I thought I was the dancer of the family. Look at you! You’re making up a whole dance routine right now!” He said as he let go of Leo, crossing his arms in amusement. 

“S-Shuhuhut snrt up…” The younger twin wheezed out, hugging his middles as he playfully glared at his purple loving brother. 

Then, a lightbulb went on in the scientist’s brain, a smug smile spreading to his face, “Hm…you know, Lee—”

“Dohont call snrt me thahat!” Leo giggly interupted. 

“Uh-huh. Well, Lee…did you know that the underarms are one of the warmest places on the human body?” The scientist said. 

The lime green eyed mutant cocked his head to the side in confusion, “Soho?” 

“Soooo my hands are cold. Very cold, in fact. I’d be forever in your debt if you could—”

“NO! NONOHO WAHAY IN HEHELL! G-GOHO AWAHAHAY!” Leo squealed, reaching for his brother’s wrists as the elder tried to tickle his neck once again.

Sigh…Leonardo made this too damn easy sometimes.

The glasses wielding teen wasn’t just going to miss this oh-so-definetly-not-planned opportunity! The softshell scribbled his fingers along the slider’s underarms, making the younger let out a loud squawk as he shot his arms down. 

“NAHAH AHAHAHA— snrt GEHET THEHE HEHELL OHAHA— snrt OHOHOUT!!” Leonardo cried while banging his heels on the bed. 

“What~?” Donnie hummed inocently. 

“GEHEHET AHA— snrt GEHET. OHOUT. OHOF THEHEHERE!”

“Awe…why~?”

“BEEHEECAUSE IHIT’S SOHO BAHAHAD!!!” 

“And?” Donnie chuckled, “That sounds like a you problem, little brother.” 

“AHHHAHA— snrt GAHAHAD FUHUCK YOHOU!!!”

“Pardon…what was that?” Donnie questioned as he pinched where Leo’s hip met his thigh. “N-NONO— snrt NAHAHAH!! I CAN’T— snrt PLEHEHEASE I’M snrt SORRY!! I-IHI TAHAHAKE IHIT BAHAHCK!!” 

“Nah…I think I’ll just stay riiiiight here for a bit…” The taller turtle smiled, using both of his hands now to tickle Leo into a laughing and snorting blob.

The younger weakly hit his big brother’s arms, throwing his head back as he squeezed his eyes completely shut. 

“…And you know what, Lee~?” 

“WHAHAHAT NOW?!” 

“I’m feeling…kind of famished.” The elder mused, his smile almost looking like the signature Joker’s as he saw his younger brother’s face pale. 

Leonardo scrambled to sit up, fighting with his brother’s arms as he giggly protested, “PLAHA— snrt PLAHAHEASE! PLEHEASE snrt D-DOHON’T!!” 

Donnie pinched his brother’s thighs unforgivingly, “You should have thought about that before yapping such ill nonsense about yourself.”

“WHAHA— snrt WHAHAHA— snrt WHAHAT DIHID snrt IHIHI snrt EVEN SAHAHAY?!” The lime green eyed turtle cackled, flapping his hands on the mattress. 

It took literally everything in the older twin not to coo his baby brother’s adorable actions; instead, he lightly moved Leo’s hands away, smiling evily as he lowered his head to the other’s plastron, “You don’t even know. Guess you really want this, huh~?” 

The blue banded teen kicked his knees into his brother’s shoulders and shell, throwing his head back in complete hysterics whilst waiting for him complete and utter demise. 

The softshell wasted no time blowing raspberries after raspberries in the middle of his younger’s stomach, making sure to move the other’s hands away any time he tried to push at the young genius’ head. 

Donnie didn’t feel like getting brain damage after all.

Plus, he had his signature glasses ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛᴇʟʟᴏ ᴛᴍ on! And those were trademarked…as you can wonderfully see. 

“God…can you get more ticklish?” Donatello giggled, squeezing and squishing the red eared slider’s knees with one hand and scribbling his sides with the other whilst contuinung to raspberry Leo’s stomach. 

“DEEHEE DEEHEEHEE SNRT PLEHEHEASE!!! IHI SNRT DAHAHAH— SNRT DAHA— SNRT DAHUNNO!!” The smaller turtle screamed, happy stimming with his arms on the taller twin’s shoulder.

Donnie couldn’t help but chuckle, deciding to show his twin a tad bit of mercy as he nibbled his stomach lightly. 

The slider let out bloody murder from his beak, happy tears threatening to fall from his eyes as his bubbly cackles and snorts bounced off the walls of his room.

“Jeez…I think Peppa Pig has some competition, huh~?” The light golden eyed mutant snickered.

“PLEHEHEASE!! TEHEHELLO SNRT IHI’M GOH— SNRT GOHOHA— AHAHA SNRT MYHYHY SNRTGAHAHAHAD!!!” The smaller teen pleaded.

“Do you promise to stop putting yourself in between danger and your family?” The older hummed. 

“YEHEHES!!” The younger cried loudly.

“Do you promise to go easier on yourself?” 

“YAHA— SNRT YAHA— SNRT YEHEHES!!!”

“Do you promise to accept your doing an amazing job as leader and we all love you—”

“MY SNRT FUHUHUCKING SNRT GAHAHAD!!! IHIHI SNRT GEHET IT!!” Leonardo shouted, his blush now completley blending into the red stripes on his face. 

The softshell turtle got off of the other, sitting next to his little brother as his little brother in question hugged his middles and giggled tiredly. 

“Y-Yohou could ohof juhuhust sahaid ahall of thahat wihihithout tickling meeheee…” The younger grumbled despite the evident smile on his face.

“And where’s the fun in that?” Donnie smiled back, his expression softening as Leo got up and leaned against him softly. The older wraped an arm around the younger’s shoulder, pulling him closer into a warm, protective gesture. 

“Ahand would yohohou look ahat that! Ihi got yohour emo bahad boy ahahass to smile todahay. Your eheeven hugging me~!” The blue banded leader spoke softly, his voice filled with affection as he poked his twin’s forehead cheekily. 

“You tell anyone that and I will not hesitate to deny that extremely untrue statement.” The scientist huffed, rolling his eyes fondly as his smile spread.

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ 

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

[mistergoddess]

it's so hard to not bully boomers in youtube comment sections

[d3stinyist1red]

out of everyone on yandere town, yan cowboy is definitely my favourite <3

YESSS IKR HES SO CUTESYY

yan cowboy who wants you to ride him badly

yan cowboy who first meets you when you stumble upon his farm, literally the cows were gonna jump ur ass until he popped up

"hey there, sweets! What'cha doin' around here?" He asks, looking at you with a tilted head as he pat the cow's head. "U-uh, sorry i just-" you got interrupted by the cowboy laughing at ya.

"ma, why do you seem so nervous? It's alright!" He said grinning down at you, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and introduces himself.

yan cowboy who is now ur buddy, talking to you every second of his fucking day like damn lil bro chill

yan cowboy who you began seeing everyday, coincidences piling up. No matter where you went, he was there, lingering just at the edge of your vision.

yan cowboy who wants you to ride with him and his horse everyday, holding onto your waist as he leads the horse on where to go, your back to his front, slowly rubbing himself against you.

yan cowboy who is a possessive and jealous freak. Any interaction you have with others, specifically other men, makes his jaw clench and his eyes narrow. He might not say anything at first, but you’ll notice how quiet he has gotten.

yan cowboy who confronts you about the man you were hanging out with earliar

"Hey darlin', what was that man tellin' you? Why were you talkin' to him? Do you think hes better than me? Sweets, im sorry. Darlin' lets talk about this, okay?"

"boy i literally just asked him wheres the nearest wingstop"

"why? are you hungry? Because I have some meat for you could eat-"

yan cowboy who makes you the center of his world, if you dont talk to him hes GONNA AND WILL have a bad day, grumpy and pissed off until you talk to him

yan cowboy who has a garden his mother owns, and always gives you flowers, your favorite ones

yan cowboy who literally every woman wants bc hes fine asf, strong, and BRO HES SWEET TOO LIKE HELLO??? but he only needs you. Whenever hes talking with another woman, he always drifts his eyes away from her to try to find you, not paying attention to whatever the woman was saying

yan cowboy who literallys gets so hard whenever he sees you bend down to get some strawberries you planted, already knowing he was gonna fist himself inside his car

yan cowboy who always gives you handwritten notes

"hello n/n! I might not be able to see you today because of my mother telling me ive been slacking off since ive been leaving early from farming. But darling, you know I can't stay away from you for so long! I need to see you! Anyway baby, I left you some cash, treat yourself, aight babes? - Your lovely cowboy <3"

yan cowboy who sees you growing some plants in the hot sun and immediatly panics, he runs over to you with an umbrella. A UMBRELLA BRO

"darlin'! Its so hot out here for you to be outside! Come inside, love!"

"bro ive only been outside for 3 minutes"

"3 minutes too long! Now cmon and rest! Ill do the work, lovely!"

yan cowboy who helps you when you barely started growing plants and stuff, guiding you with his hands ontop of yours, his chin on your shoulder.

yan cowboy who sees you carrying a heavy bale of hay, and immediately scolds you

You wipe the sweat from your brow as you lift the bale of hay, determined to carry your weight on the farm. Your cowboy always helps you with everything like bro i could be independent too hoe. You’ve seen him do this like a thousand times, and you’re confident you can handle it too bc ur a bad bitch period

But before you can take more than a few steps, a shadow falls over you, and you feel a firm hand on your arm. You glance up, and lowkey you were scared it was gonna be schoolboy69 lowkey but nah their infront of you was your cowboy, eyes narrowed in a mix of worry and frustration. He was practically glaring at you, mad that you picked up something without his help, even if you picked up something as heavy as a bag of cookies he would be mad and see red like alpha dawg sigma 4000

“What do you think you’re doin’, darlin’?” His voice is low, but you still heard the irritation in his voice.

“I’m just helping out,” you say, trying to brush it off as no big deal. “It’s just a bale of hay, I'll can handle it.” You said shrugging, about to walk past him until you felt the heavy hay get off your shoulders in a quick manner.

that lil bitch took the hay and walked away but not before blowing u a kiss and saying "i love u n/n, get ready for tonight bc imma need u to blow my back OUT-"

yan cowboy who always is complimenting you, doesnt even matter if your in ur christmas pjs from 2016 he will say "id lowkey eat you out in that"

yan cowboy who is ur obsessed boy who luvs you more than he should<3

yan cowboy who is ur such cowboy who couldnt be more lucky to have you with him! <333

GUYS IM BACK FROM THE DEAD BITCHESSS

GUYS YALL COULD SEND REQUESTS BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BIT BC IM STILL WORKING ON OTHER DRAFTS LIKE THESE

GUYS WHO HAS YAN WINDERBREAKER MANHWA BOOKS PLS I NEED JAY JO AND OWEN

[phas3d]

Fake Dating | Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: draco, tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo

notes :: fake dating is the FUEL TO MY LIFE AHHH slightly inspired by "please please please" by Sabrina Carpenter because ofc it is

DRACO MALFOY

He's bullied you for ages, literally making your high school years hell

But after his father and mother pressure him with questions about a girlfriend

He gets sick of it and wants to shut up for ONE NIGHT just one fucking night

So he gets you to pretend to be his partner, because you're the only girl willing to say yes (because ur scared of him)

Corners you and threatens you, "If you don't give me an Oscar worthy performance I will literally burn all of your uniforms and books"

Now you're at his house, eating expensive steak under 3 chandeliers

No one knows why he has 3 chandeliers,,, not even his parents

But instantly, his parents love you for your nerdiness and cuteness

They see you as a sweet and innocent little partner for Draco :)

But uh oh... you were TOO perfect for his parents

Now Draco is asking you to go with his parents to Germany for a "little trip"

Except their idea of a "little trip" is a week vacation in the most expensive hotel and meeting German celebrities

You can't speak German, but Draco can so he helps answer any questions asked towards you

But for some reason, he gets super agitated as you keep attending parties and people keep coming up to you

He gets so mad on the second-to-last-day of the week vacation to the point he grabs some random guys collar and shouts at him

You pull try to pull them apart but it's too late...

Draco gets his ass whooped... Badly... Embarrassingly bad...

You leave the party early, going back to the hotel alone as you patch his wounds

That's when you ask why he was so upset

But he refuses to answer, saying it's just that the guy was annoying

It's obvious that he's lying, so you keep pushing him and pushing him

So he angrily blurts out: "Because people keep fucking asking for your number!!! GOD!!! You're so dense!"

He says as he lightly flicks your forehead before staring deeply into your eyes: conveying everything he's been feeling for you for these past weeks of "fake dating"

TOM RIDDLE

Mattheo is Tom's worse enemy, despite being brothers

Yet again, Mattheo teases and mocks Tom for being a loser with zero "rizz" or whatever that means

He's sick of Mattheo's stupid ass slang, everyday he hears "you're a beta" "ur aura is so low" "zero rizz bruh"

He's literally going to kill him

But sadly he can't do that, so he comes up with a different solution

He chooses you, a random kid he did a project with once, to pretend to be his new partner

You were hesitant but he then threw in an extra bonus, he would do all your homework for two classes of your choice

So obviously you had to take it

He had to prepare you for the worse: Mattheo

Tom forced you to visit his dorm to study how to reply to Mattheo when you finally meet him

He also made you study how to act like a couple in public

Which he knew nothing about... He was technically right about hand holding and matching clothes

But his version of hand holding was very uncomfortable, the type where you don't interlock fingers

And the clothes he picked were ugly as hell, no way you'd ever wear that stuff

So you had to help him a lot with learning how to act natural in relationships

When he feels that you're finally prepared, he lets you meet Mattheo

Mattheo is super sus at first but is too dumb to question harshly

But now, you're stuck as pretending to be Tom's girlfriend for the rest of the year

He's painfully unaffectionate in public which makes you slightly embarrassed because he makes you look like a clingy girlfriend

But in private, when he's teaching you what to say and doing your homework: he's surprisingly sweet

He gets better at being a boyfriend over time and even takes you on full dates, not just fake photoshoots to post online

But he's still insisting to keep this relationship as just beneficial, no string attached

You can't help but start to fall for him, it's literally impossible to not

He gifts you everything you've ever wanted, takes you to fancy places, making him chuckle under his breathe feels more rewarding than any A+ ever, and those small private moments where you can feel a soul behind his eyes instead of the ice cold make you love him

So you cut it off with him, lying and saying you don't need the benefits and it's too hard to keep lying

He accepts this and lets you go

You end up being really popular once you're single

And that pisses him off ENDLESSLY

He found you first! He basically made you! You're still his, he can't let someone take all his hard work

And for some reason,,, he felt hollow after you left - as if he lost something dear to him

He's not sure how you brought out these emotions, but he wants it back ASAP

MATTHEO RIDDLE

Oh my god double trope: because Mattheo started dating you because he was dared to

You're seen as a kinda bitch in Hogwarts because a group of girls said so

But in reality, you're really chill and grounded, which surprised Mattheo when he went on your first date

You made him laugh a few times (a lot, he's too cocky to admit it)

And you also were really similar to Mattheo, you liked the same games and shows

As he kept pretending to date you, he started to actually like you and your presence

But he's still not too attached because he knows he needs to break up with you in about 2 months

As the weeks pass by, you accidentally read a message for Mattheo

It was from Theo, saying "Jesus dude, you two almost seem like a real couple. You should try acting haha"

You froze but started to plot your revenge on him

You kept acting like everything was fine and normal, and then broke up with HIM

Mattheo was shocked, because not only has he completely fallen for you but he's also never been broken up with

He unsure of what to do, but all he knows is he wants you back

THEODORE NOTT

Pulling girls has almost never been a problem for Theo his entire life

He even pulled grown women while being 14 years old (he's a victim...)

But his main problem is pulling a girl that would be approved by his parents

Theo surrounds himself with heavy drinkers, partiers, and dumb jocks: meaning there's not many partners that are "marriage material"

So he asks you, the Head Girl of your house, to pretend to be his girlfriend for family events

You agreed due to the large sum of money he was paying you, it's insane how rich he is

Every time Theo had a family event, he would just call you up and BOOM his family loves you

But as you keep coming to these family events, acting as a couple becomes less and less awkward for you both

You both agreed to not kiss each other due to this just being acting, plus kissing at family events is weird

But God, Theo really wants to break that rule when you and him are alone on the balcony at night while you ramble about the struggles of being Head Girl

He never thought he'd fall for the super nerdy, responsible, and awkward Head Girl - but he did, and he fell super hard

Theo wants to straight up ask you to be his real girlfriend, but he's so scared

He's scared of making you uncomfortable for catching feelings or making you think he planned this all along

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

Enzo's best friend is Blaise, almost everyone knows that

But what everyone also knows is that Blaise has the FATTEST crush on your best friend, Pansy Parkinson

And even more well known is that Pansy liked him back

There was literally no reason for these two to not get together, they were just too scared to confess

Which is odd since they're both so head-strong and confident, you guess it's just because they're scared of rejection

So Enzo reaches out to you, asking you to help come up with a plan to set them both up on a date

You two are complete strangers, only ever talking once or twice whilst in a group

So you both create a lie: that you and Enzo are going on a first date and need them to tag along to make it a "double date"

Obviously, this works on them because they're great friends

So now you and Enzo are on an awkward fake date while your best friends basically make out next to you

The original plan was just to tell Pansy and Blaise that there was no spark between you and Enzo

But due to you both spending an entire 12 hours together with Blaise and Pansy, you guys got comfortable with each others

He makes you laugh a ton and you do the same

You both love really niche topics and shows, even sharing the same favorite sports teams

Your bond only grows stronger after Blaise and Pansy ask for another double date

But you and Enzo take it slow, having the most sexual tension for months because you both were just claiming to be "friends only"

You finally broke that after about 4 months, thank God

[bandgie]

hiiii is ok if i request a stoner smut😭 ( with either han,chan or felix) like y/n and him are smoke buddies and in one of the sessions things get a little hot and heavy 🥲

it’s ok if ur uncomfortable but if you’re not i’d love to see it

-anon 🍃

a/n: yes?!? oh my god?? why give me 3 options when I can do them all?? at the same time??

synopsis: You warned your smoking buddies that you get a little...different when you're really high. They don't believe you though, and smoke you out anyway. Neither of you can decide if it was worst mistake or best decision of your lives.

warnings: MDNI 18+, heavily under the influence, 4some, brief pussy play, no protection, cumming inside, pussy eating, mxm themes!!!, squirting, double penetration, blow job (m!&f!), multiple orgasms (f!), I went crazy with this one I ain't gonna lie

2.6k words

"Oh dude she's gone."

"You shouldn't have smoked her out man."

"She wanted me to!"

You can distantly hear the three of them arguing. Han is, once again, thrown under the bus as Felix and Chris blame him. To be fair, everyone's high out of their mind. Whatever Felix bought back from California hits.

Han is warm as you snuggle against him, his heartbeat irregular as he keeps defending himself. When you told them you get a little excited when you're super high, they thought you'd be bouncing off the walls. Instead, they had to keep you from clawing Han's cock out to bounce on that.

"I'm not even that high," you speak up for yourself. "I just want a little fun, that's all."

Chan scoffs, bloodshot eyes looking at your droopy ones. "You are that high, actually. The sober you that I know would punch Han before he even thought about touching you."

The image of slapping the man you're sitting on makes you laugh hysterically. You're gasping for air, clutching at your chest as you cackle. Your exaggerated laughter makes Felix chuckle, and it doesn't take long until all four of you are on the verge of throwing up from giggling. 

"But I like the way he feels," you manage to speak after your chest heaves. "Hannie's so soft and warm, it feels so good." It's not smart of you to talk like that when Han's cock is underneath your ass. You can feel like twitching in response. 

You softly grind your ass against it, humming. "You like it too, huh Hannie? Do you want to touch me?"

"Hey. That's enough," Chan's voice is stern, but you don't miss how his eyes drop to your bare thighs. Han freezes under you, scared that moving might make his cock hard. 

You roll your eyes and grind against Han again, hearing him hiss. "For fucks' sake Chan, I'm high, not drunk." There's not a care for the aftermath in your head. It feels as though there'll be no repercussions, that time has frozen still for you. For this moment. 

Still, Chan shakes his head. "Doesn't matter, you're not in the right mind."

"If you don't wanna fuck me Chan, Hannie will." You turn your attention back to Han, who's struggling under you. He's hard now, but his hands stay placed on the cushions. "You'll play with me, right Han?"

His eyes dart from yours to Chan's, unsure. "I dunno. What if you get mad at me in the morning?" You coo at his uncertainty. Reaching for his hands, you place them on your hips. His fingers dig into your soft flesh, pulling you closer to him. 

"I would never be mad at you," you promise. "Just touch me."

That’s enough permission for Han. He parts your thighs while Felix and Chris are front-row viewers. Getting high was just an excuse, you've always wanted him to touch you. For all of them to touch you. It's why you didn't wear any shorts under your skirt. A black thong barely covers your cunt, and Han is quick to play with it. 

His fingers slip behind the material, finding your clit easily. He gently rubs you in circles, moaning in your ear. Han slips his hand out and places it over your underwear, rubbing that instead. 

It makes you whine, bucking your hips in protest. You're about to complain when you catch the other two boys staring. Felix is on the edge of his seat, staring at where Han touches you. Chan is the opposite, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back in his seat. He looks irritated but there's dark arousal in his eyes. 

You let Han make a show of you, getting you to drip down your ass. 

"Fuck," you hear Felix swear. His voice sounds deeper if that was even possible. His lips are wet from how constantly he's licking them, but he makes no move towards you.

Han pinches your clit. The sudden grasp makes you whine, hips lifting in the air before he forces you back on his lap.

"I don't have a condom," he whispers in your ear. You shake your head aggressively, "I don't care. Put it in."

Chan opens his mouth to say something but snaps it shut. His jaw clenches as he watches Han slips his hand between the two of you, releasing his throbbing cock. He doesn't want to hear you complain in the morning about this, it's your fault. 

Han pulls your panties to the side and slides his cock against your folds. You arch your back into him, moaning. You look down to watch his dick collect your juices, lewdly making noise. Then he angles his cock down, catching your entrance.

You have to slightly lift your hips when his tip goes in. The stretch is far from painful, and it feels like you're on cloud nine. You slam your hips down on Han impatiently. He whines behind you, body shaking and his arms wrap around your waist.

It's a struggle to keep your legs open for the other men to see, but you hook them over Han's legs for support. Han starts slow, unused to the feel of your cunt. He groans in your neck, biting your skin. "Fuck, that's good pussy."

You only hum in response as you feel Han fuck into you harder. It sends overwhelming shocks of pleasure throughout your body. Your mind grows hazy, vision blurring. You've touched yourself while high, and that alone was a trip. To have someone bury themselves deep inside you, to feel their hot dick slip in and out of you, it feels like you're at a constant high. 

Felix is the first to break. He stands to his feet quickly and takes long strides toward you. Han slows his thrusts, unsure if Felix wants a turn with you already. He grips you a little tighter, possessively. 

Both of you are shocked to see him fall to his knees in front of your pussy. He pushes the thong further out of the way with his thumb, looking up at you. 

"Can I?"

You're nodding before he even finishes, "Fuck yes." 

You cum at the feel of Felix's plush lips. Your walls clench and grip Han's cock tightly, making him thrust into you deep. Felix has to keep his hands on your thighs to keep you still. It's obvious you came with the high-pitched moans and convulsing body, but neither of them made a move to stop. 

"Shit, I can feel her creaming on my cock. Fuck, Felix lick me too," Han rasps out. 

Felix is quick to comply. You feel his tongue dip past your pussy presumably only onto the few inches of Han's cock that isn't in your pussy. Han trembles behind you, hips stuttering into yours. Felix reaches back up to your clit, running his lips over your nub before he lightly sucks. 

You don't have much energy to grind on his pretty face, so you lay there pliant as Han fucks into you earnestly and as Felix gently eats you out. You bury your hands into Felix's green hair, desperate to grip onto something.

The hot sensation builds in your stomach again, this time much more intensely. Han can feel the clenching of your walls, the added wetness your pussy drools out. The pressure in your tummy feels different, hotter, and unstable.

"Felix!" You cry out. "I'm gonna cum again! Fuck, I think I'm gonna squirt!"

You think he might back away, but he buries his face deeper, sucks a little harder. "Give it to me baby, I want it all over my face."

The force of your second orgasm makes Han's cock slip out. Felix's face and Han's thighs are victims of your release. You coat them sheer with your orgasm, watching how Felix keeps his mouth open to drink your release. 

He gulps down the remaining spurts of your pussy, a smile on his face. "Yeah, Han. That's good pussy alright." Felix stands, looking down at your wrecked state. He bends down and kisses you roughly, making sure you can taste yourself on his lips. Then he moves behind you to kiss Han who already has his tongue out. Both of them moan in the kiss, making your pussy throb even more. 

Felix unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants just down enough to reach for his cock. You drool at the sight, moaning softly. He pumps himself a few times, then taps his tip on your swollen clit. 

"Think you can handle two at a time baby?"

Before you can even think to answer, Han butts in. "You should be asking me that. I don't think I'll last much longer." The two of them laugh, and then Felix looks back at you. "Can you?"

Biting your bottom lip, you nod. "Yeah, just go slow." Han and Felix nod in unison, "Of course baby." 

The two of them angle their cocks into your slightly gaping entrance. Han pushes the tip of his cock in first. Felix follows quickly after, pressing his tip against Han's. You let your head fall back between Han's neck and shoulder, relaxing your body. It's quite easy since you are already elated, but there's still a painful stretch as they slide in.

You hiss when they stretch you out, their cocks halfway in. Han tightens his grip on your waist and pecks your forehead. Felix soothingly runs his hands against your thighs and kisses your exposed neck. "Doing so good, you're almost there."

Their comforting touches encourage you to try harder. They sink further in and you gasp. 

"Chan," Han calls his hyung who's been overly silent throughout the whole thing. You almost forgot he was there. 

"What?"

"Think our baby needs a bit of help. Come on."

Chan shouldn't help. He told you many times this was a bad idea, but no one listened. Still, watching your teary eyes get to him. The way your face contorts from discomfort. You looked so pretty cumming over Han's cock, he can't imagine what'd it be like to cream over both. 

He finds himself standing and walking over to you three, standing beside Felix. 

"Mate, you need to Han bottom out first. Here." Chan hands one hand on Felix's waist while the other guides your stomach downwards. Han moves his hips up, slowly filling your walls. You squeal and tremble, but it's bearable. 

"There you go," Chris coos. "Make sure you go deep Han. Felix needs as much room as he can get."

Han obeys his friend, making sure to bury himself to the hilt. You feel him push past what you thought was possible. Your legs threaten to snap shut, but Felix's iron grip keeps them open. Han can feel how tight your pussy is, how good it feels to rub against Felix's cock.

Chan taps the green-haired on the waist, "You're good to go."

"Oh," your eyes roll back to your head. Your lips spread deliciously when Felix pushes the remaining inches in. You can feel how your clit slightly rubs against his girth, making extra warmth flow out of you.

Your reactions make Chan chuckle, smiling for the first time in what seems like hours. "Feels good huh? Taught him well." He playfully slaps Felix on the ass. 

The two of them feel heavenly in your walls. All three of you are a moaning mess, content with staying still. It's not until Chris clears his throat that Han begins to move. Shallow thrusts into your pussy that make the trio whimper.

Felix moves with longer strokes. They don't match each other's thrusts, but the speed is the same. One goes in while the other goes out, then sometimes it's at the same time, then it's everything in between. Your walls loosen after a few testing strokes, and they're fucking into you roughly in no time.

Chan tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, getting a good view of your face. It's then that you notice his hard-on, how painful it must be in his jeans. Wordlessly, you open your mouth, tongue lolling out. Chan laughs at your directness, "You sure?"

You respond by using your weak fingers to unzip him, "Yesssss."

He laughs again and helps you undress him. His cock is the biggest of the three, in girth and length. You're thankful he isn't in you, there's no way you could've handled it. Chan taps the head of his cock on your lips, smearing his pre-cum. 

Then he pushes in gently, not to disrupt the boys using you. He's hot and heavy on your tongue, slightly salty. Truthfully, getting as high as you did always leaves you with a dry mouth. You find it difficult to provide enough spit for Chan's cock.

He doesn't complain though, and never pushes you past your limit. Chan uses his hands to jerk what you can't fit in your mouth. You want to protest and say you can do it yourself, but with how good Felix and Han are fucking you, it seems impossible. 

Han's cock twitches inside you, a warning for his orgasm. "I'm gonna cum. Fuck baby I'm gonna cum in you." 

You hum around Chris's cock in response, and soon enough you're filled with Han's cum. It's warm in your stomach and you feel it pool onto the sofa. Felix moans at the extra lubrication, finding it hot to see him fuck the cum out of you. 

Han's cock stays inside of you. He likes to think Felix and you help ride out his high. He turns his head to watch you suck off Chan, groaning. Han opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out, looking up at Chan expectedly. 

The eagerness in Han's eyes has the older man raising an eyebrow, but he indulges nonetheless. Chan slips his cock from your mouth and places it on Han's tongue. 

Han is in a better condition to suck. He even does the honor of spitting on Chan's dick. He licks and takes his cock almost to the hilt before gagging. The sight makes Chan moan, and he puts his dick back in your mouth. Your lips are much softer and your mouth is hotter. Han's is wetter though, and much more usable. Chan settles for using both of your throats.

You're thankful for Han helping, it's hard to focus with Felix still pounding away. His fingers are for sure going to leave a bruise, and your pussy may not be the same after this. With your warm pussy and Han's cock, Felix can feel his balls tighten and how his hips lose their momentum.

He doesn't warm you when he cums. There's just his deep, consecutive moans as Felix fills you to the brim. Your legs tremble, and you're cumming before you're aware of it. Chan has to use Han's mouth more often as you moan and whimper through your orgasm. 

Felix rides his high out when Chan forces your head to face his cock. He jerks himself quickly, tapping his tip on both your and Han's tongues. Chan cums on both of your faces, hot spurts landing on your cheek and lips. 

Your tongue pokes out to get a taste, moaning. 

Felix finally pulls out, making you whine. Han follows suit, letting his soft cock leave you empty. Chan lets you give his cock extra kisses while Han unwraps an arm from you to wipe his face. 

Chan has to pry you away from his dick, chuckling when you protest. He tucks himself away despite your complaining. 

The four of you untangle from each other. Though the couch is small, all of you manage to snuggle against one another with you and Han in the middle. All of you are shining in afterglow and cum, with complete disregard for how you might react in the morning. 

Han picks his head up to overlook all of you, a playful scowl on his face. "And you were mad at me for smoking her out."

a/n: man i...I dunno what to say. this is totally self-indulgent. the way I need this to happen. thank you anon 🍃, I truly needed this

[megumishotgf]

more jjk + mha fic recs !! ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ

in my unemployed era so i have hours to scroll on this damn app... here are more fics that i loved!! featuring: megumi, satoru, nanami, toji, yuuji, yuuta, katsuki, izuku, shouto (whew there's a lot of them today. your girl has been READING) credits to all these talented writers!! pls check them out!! masterlist more fic recs pt. i pt. iii

: ̗̀➛ megumi fushiguro x reader

you and gumi bond over books (he reads a book you're interested in just so you have someone to discuss it with. bawling)

multiple-part enemies to lovers smau!! (this is SO FUNNY. i cried from laughter more than once)

more enemies to lovers (lengthier fic, so so good + smutty)

you give megumi valentines day chocolates (so so cute he just loves u so much)

secret relationship trope + poor yuuji walks in on you making out (poor baby is traumatised)

more secret relationship + getting caught (i love this one so much)

your silly tired bf just wants kisses

it's late, you're wandering in your ducky slippers and see megumi patching himself up

megumi falls in love with milf! reader (omfg... i love this sm. i've never considered being a cougar until now)

friends to lovers with megumi (high school a.u + gumi buys reader sanrio)

thinking about megumi's hands (i js know they are pretty. thinking of all the unspeakable things they can do)

comforting insecure megumi (my poor baby. a lil angst but dw there's a happy ending)

: ̗̀➛ kento nanami x reader

kento comes home early (so cute and precious. im crying i need him to be real so bad)

he gets hurt bad and you can't stop crying (angsty but also fluffy don't worry this doesn't end like shibuya)

: ̗̀➛ toji fushiguro x reader

riding toji until he whimpers omfg (he gets embarrassed and teaches you a lesson ahhh)

your fiancee toji finally gets freed from prison (they finally freed my man anyway you suck him off while he drives omfg)

sex as payback for your noisy ass neighbours (im losing it)

really cute dating headcanons

more on toji being a simp for you (HES SOOO)

: ̗̀➛ satoru gojo x reader

"my girl is mad at me i hope i die" that's it

y/n + satoru being stupidly in love (now this one has a kick to it.i'm crying)

satoru is obsessed with you but you're oblivious (pining satoru)

boyfriend texts w/ satoru

fucking satoru in the prison realm (AHHHH)

satoru begs to fuck you at some high profile event (u js look so cunty in that outfit and it drives him crazy)

car sex with satoru AHHH

satoru lets u try on his blindfold (hes such so :( so so adorable)

you get hurt and satoru is worried (wow this is so well written. happy ending + gojo centric)

: ̗̀➛ yuuji itadori x reader

fucking ur friend yuuji in a club bathroom (this is so so good)

"if we had a baby would it be mine or sukuna's" (this is hilarious)

yuuji comforts his gf who's not his 'usual type' (its me im the short gf with a big chest) (i’ve been coming back to reread this daily)

: ̗̀➛ yuuta okkotsu x reader

blowing ur big dick bf yuuta (canon)

really really romantic sex w/ yuuta (straight up making love)

: ̗̀➛ katsuki bakugo x reader

domestic headcanons (i love them and i love him. help)

more cute relationship headcanons

katsuki is obsessed with gossiping and eavesdropping when you and your friends spill the tea (this is so funny i love it sm)

dragging katsuki to the club bathroom because u love him (this is so wholesome im crying)

kiri notices how whipped katsuki is for you

guard dog katsuki is jealous

: ̗̀➛ izuku midoriya x reader

mating press with izuku (this actually drives me crazy. written so well and in character)

izuku is just so fucking precious (i can't take it anymore)

: ̗̀➛ shouto todoroki x reader

shouto gets halved by a quirk but not like gojo, there's js two of him (there is one obvious thing to do now)

dr. todoroki promises to breed you properly (i'm convulsing)

you're insecure after giving birth and shouto comforts you (with loving words and his dick)

resolving an argument w/ ur bf shouto (so cute!!)

eating u out in the kitchen (omfg)

there is an overwhelming amount of smut i'm sorry this is kind of embarrassing i'm just super horny lmao

[jeansplaytoy]

random connie headcannons because why not

language, sexual(ish) parts, fluff.

clingy afff!!! he follows you everywhere, you can’t even go pee in peace because he’ll hop on the counter and talk to you while you pee.💀 ur just like “bro, get out.” and he’s like “no.” and he keeps talking.

makes you do those ‘couple’ tik toks where they’re like at a hotel or something and he’ll just back up from the camera, show you off, and then kiss you and end the tik tok.

consistently play fights with you😭. he can’t go more than two weeks without messing with you or pinching you for no reason and then when you hit him too hard he’ll be like “ight bruh, I’m finna beat yo ass.” & body slams you on the bed or something💀.

tries on your wigs simply because he can. but he takes them off when you come home because he knows you’ll beat his ass.

this boy smacks your ass hard as hell, just to make you mad. enough said.

when yall are just chillin he’ll put his feet straight in your face. 💀 like really, and they don’t even smell bad, and he’s like “eat my toes” you’re like “what the fuck?” and try to move em but he won’t stop at all 😭

he picks you up at random times. like you’ll be on the phone with somebody in the kitchen and he’ll grab you by your waist and carry you to the living room, drop you on the couch, and mind his business.

kinda like the first one, you HAVE to pee together when it’s night time or he’ll get all sassy at you. he’ll be like “bae, wake up. let’s go pee.” and you’ll just agree and he’ll wait for you to finish and while you wash your hands he’ll do his business.

fake bangs you from behind every time you lean over somewhere. that’s why you always check behind you when you’re picking something up.

calls you ‘bruh’ and ‘bro’ when he’s mad at you, but he’ll never call you by your real name.

and again, no privacy. he’s all up on you every time you’re texting somebody or when you’re calling someone, he’s there, watching you with big ass eyes just to ask who it was.

will randomly say “i don’t care” in the middle of you telling him something until you punch him in his arm 😭.

grabs you by your neck and kisses you when you’re about to piss him off or when you’re mad at him.

gives you nicknames like ‘mami’, ‘mamas’, ‘ma’, ‘guapa’, and sometimes ‘peach’ cus that ass FAT🙏🏾.

is a big crybaby bro. ESPECIALLY to you. “mamaaa, my game not working.” and you’ll go downstairs to see what’s wrong. “what?” “my game ain’t working.” and he’ll look at you as you go over to his ps5, only to see, in clear day, that it isn’t plugged in. and you’ll look at him in the dumbest way ever. the worse thing about it is, this is not the first time it happened. 💀

when you hug, he’ll purposely put his hands right under your cheeks and grab your kitty. (i’m sorry LMAO)

can’t fall asleep without rubbing your thighs or your waist, but is laid out all over the bed when you wake up.

randomly grabs your boobs for comfort. (and don’t wear a tank top around him shawty)

;)

forgot this was in my drafts 😕.

[love-belle]

my boyfriend's boyfriend !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's the one who's third wheeling her boyfriend and his best friend.

or

for when you're the third wheel in your own relationship. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - i really hope you like it!! thank you so much for reading, i love you!!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, landonorris and 896,427 others

yourusername he's kinda cool ig

tagged landonorris

7,627 comments

username they're so CUTE im SICK to my stomach LIKE

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️

username it should be illegal for two hot bitches to date like what about US

username she's so girlfriend

carmenmmundt missing you x

*liked by yourusername*

username they're like the best like im not even kidding i love them sm they're so :///

username SHE'S SO GF LIKEEE I WANT HER

carlossainz55 leave my man alone please 🙄🤚

-> yourusername my man* u mean

-> carlossainz55 no i don't ❤️

-> username CARLANDO ⁉️⁉️⁉️

username my bi ass is having a crisis omg

username imagine being a relationship 😂😂😂

-> username real like imagine someone loving u as much lando loves y/n 😂😂😂

landonorris U GUESS????

-> yourusername yeah 😇

-> landonorris guess again

-> yourusername fine

-> landonorris go on

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-> landonorris blocked and reported

landonorris is the beauty in the second slide single???

-> yourusername no but her bf eats her food and doesn't get nutella from the store so she's about to be!! i'll keep u updated!!

-> landonorris rushing to the store as we speak rn

username god i need me a lando rn

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, georgerussell63 and 789,625 others

landonorris she said i'm more than okay ❤️

tagged yourusername

7,642 comments

username GOODBYE SHE'S SO

username OH MY GOD

username idk if i should cry abt the fact that i'll never be with her or that i'll never be her

username she's so beautiful like omg

danielricciardo are those my sunglasses???

-> landonorris her outfit is everyone's something

-> yourusername lies x

-> lilymhe ok so that isn't my tshirt?

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username CAN LANDO FIGHT?????????

username im ready to throw HANDS for her like lando u better square UP

username im in love woah.

lilymhe she lied

-> landonorris stay bitter

-> yourusername me when lily read in between the lines ❤️❤️❤️

-> landonorris both of u are bullies omg

-> lilymhe 😘

username she's so adorable cute beautiful pretty gorgeous ethereal breathtaking hot fine amazing

-> username it's okay lando!!!!!! u can comment on ur post!!!!!!!

carlossainz55 when he used to post me like this 💔💔💔

-> landonorris sorry babe 💔 had to win her over

-> yourusername stay mad ❤️

username this carlos and y/n beef is so fucking funny like

yourusername i say things when im half asleep

-> landonorris you can't take them back

yourusername i guess :///

-> landonorris darling you're breaking my heart

yourusername (i love you)

-> landonorris (i love you so much more)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 789,524 others

yourusername proof that im the other woman in this relationship

tagged landonorris carlossainz55

7,916 comments

username NAHHHH THEY'RE IN LOVE

username OMG

username LMFAOOOOOOO

username the way carlos is looking at lando PLEASE

danielricciardo about time you found out

-> yourusername a harsh realisation

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username I CACKLED

username carlando 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

carmenmmundt it's a tough realisation 💔💔💔

-> yourusername my heart's breaking 💔💔💔

username lando and y/n?????? lando and carlos!!!!!!!!!!

username carlos really stole y/n's man huh

username I LAUGHED OUT LOUD OMG

carlossainz55 when she finally realises 😇😇😇

-> yourusername i hate u.

-> carlossainz55 no you don't.

username CARLOS AND Y/N FIGHTING OVER LANDO IS SO FUNNY LIKEEE

landonorris babe i can explain.........

-> yourusername i was the side chick all along huh??????

-> carlossainz55 so glad we're finally acknowledging that!

-> yourusername sainz i want u to step on a lego

landonorris coffee???

-> yourusername i'll be in our bedroom!!! i love u!!!

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 875,278 others

landonorris my forever 💌

tagged yourusername

8,527 comments

username GOODNIGHT.

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carmenmmundt the prettiest

*liked by landonorris*

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lewishamilton 🤍

*liked by landonorris*

username "my forever" so u want me dead.

username need a lando asap thank u

username no bc their relationship is literally goals like childhood best friends to lovers????? they're both obsessed with eachother?????? the way they support eachother?????? EVERYTHING DUDE

carlossainz55 you won that teddy for me.

-> landonorris babe.......

-> yourusername oh so HE'S babe now???

-> carlossainz55 yes and???

-> yourusername idc i want joint custody of that damn teddy

carlossainz55 fyi everyone!!!! i let her borrow MY teddy that lando won for ME!!!!! just thought everyone should know

-> landonorris you're both kids omg

yourusername jokes aside i love you SO much u STUPID like i own my entire heart i adore u

-> landonorris hahahahaha i'm not used to you being this nice please go back to being mean!

-> yourusername take the damn compliment

-> landonorris yes ma'am.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, landonorris and 899,627 others

yourusername all jokes aside i love this little dude!!!!! he's exactly what u imagined daylight to be like!!!!!! he's crazy but he takes good photos and makes amazing coffee!!!!!! lando, i love you so much like u own my ENTIRE heart even when u flirt with carlos in front of me!!!!!

tagged landonorris

comments are disabled for this post

[moon7jay]

Okay- I kinda need you to elaborate more on Jay wanting to have a chubby girlfriend cause HNGGGG I LOVE THAT THOUGHG SO MUCH! Please 🙏🥺

ofc anon<33

You would literally be his comfort person. everytime he's stressed he needs your body close to grope and feel. Especially your boobs. Expect them to be used as de stressing balls :>

loves to spoil u with dresses. He knows your exact measurements without ever measuring u and that's something u love about him , he just knows things about u and ur body without explicit explanation.

"fucked u so many times, got u measured with the span of my palms"

Almost always ends up fucking u in the changing room of the stores he takes u to cuz you're just too hot to resist, the way the dress looks on your curves has him straining in his pants

The type to say "you're my warm up weight baby" when u try to talk your way out of sitting on his lap or face. Manhandles u in all sorts of positions to prove his point

Obsessed with smacking your ample curves. Just expect to be smacked and groped everytime u pass by him or are in his vicinity. Smirks shamelessly when u glare at him looking adorable as fuck (his words not mine)

Also expect to get scolded if u ever bring up ur insecurities cuz he's not having it.

"You're just a little more for me to fuck, in all the right places, it drives me fucking crazy"

The type to squeeze and kiss your tummy while fucking u, just loves groping your soft flesh so much. It gets him hot and heavy in his pants at the sweet noises u make for him everytime he touches and gropes u like a pervert. He IS a pervert. Asks u to squeeze your boobs together and show him when he's away from u and wants to jerk off. Has pictures saved of your sinful body for the sole purpose of rutting into his hands like a horndog at the single thought of you.

The type to STARE. And not just stare stare, he OGLES. fucking u with his eyes before he's pressing himself against your naked body, fucking into u with his throbbing dick. You'd be lying on your stomach, reading your book when suddenly u would look up and catch your boyfriend blatantly checking you out. Just staring shamelessly. You grab a pillow and throw it at him "JAY!"

loves fucking your boobs. Expect a lot of boob fucking cuz he just can't get enough of how hot the sight is.

Also the type to nibble on your body. Like nibble. Ppl are worried about hickies on neck, you on the other hand have to worry about the purple love bites all over your body. Most days u look like u have been mauled by an animal. U suppose it is true cuz jay's nothing short of an animal when it comes to u in bed. Just biting and sucking every inch of your exposed flesh that is within his reach.

He NEVER fucks u with clothes on. NEVER. He needs to be pressed skin to skin against u, flesh rubbing against flesh is a must for him for him to be satisfied. Needs your naked soft body rubbing against his own, needs it more than he needs air. That's why loves shower sex. Just wet and naked lust, steamy sex fogging up the glass doors, hot slippery bodies gliding against each other, chasing carnal pleasure.

LOVES munching on your cheeks, biting and nibbling on them randomly. Especially during make outs, thinks you're adorable as fuck and it makes him want to eat u more. Does eat u literally. Tongue buried in your pussy, head buried between your thick thighs, fingers kneading your ass while he's at it

"so adorably pretty ,makes me wanna take a bite out of u baby"

Never stops complimenting u. Never stops reminding u that you're his everything. Doesn't ever let u go on diets

"I don't wanna lose even a little bit of u"

Also please let him cook for u, nothing makes him more happier than cooking for u. he is so in love with u, he would give u the world if u just asked for it.

a/n: I'm so mad there's only one Jay in this world like how is that fair

[staraxiaa]

sunflowers, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

okay. so. i am insane. i am a god. i just wrote 18k words for a fic that i thought of, planned, and created fully in less than two days, bc someone said i like to make ppl suffer and yes i do. but then i was like, i am GOING to write fluff and i took it personally. to that one reader, thank you!! anyways. i wrote this with the intent of using the prompt "you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" and barely even ended up using it. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. i hope it doesn't flop but also it's okay if it does bc i literally spent almost 48 hours brainrotting and word vomiting like it's out of my brain now and this feels glorious. it was random unfiltered thoughts and grinding away at 3am until i am empty. no thoughts left in my head. can you see? i could eat the world raw, the itch has been scratched. the sheer amount of motivation i had w this fic is never happening again. cheers! will update as i think of things! sorry to anyone who ends up reading this fully. i have been unreasonably fixated and have brainrotted over this for two hours, inclusive of sleeptime. while sleeping. i kid you not. i would wake up and something would click and i would hop over to the laptop and fucking grind away i am so sick of myself

unwritten scenes, headcanons

you guys are 20. you haven't started dating yet. you're a doctor. you guys are yelling at each other. you say 'you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.' katsuki's so angry that he does. ⇁ this was the original ending btw but i thought this one kinda fit better he brings you sunflowers sometime. real ones. he's sneezing all the while. you take one look at him and you die of laughter. he's still sneezing. you tell him: you know i actually didn't even care about them until i found out you were allergic. ⇁ if i could write nsfw i would do it here like dude do u see the vision omfg a whole side plot where he's like what the fuck do you mean you weren't dating deku. you're like. what the fuck. are u stupid. someplace where you actually address how you treat midoriya, his lack of a quirk, and how you stood by and watched it all happen ua sports festival. you kick everyone's ass. #you have been trained by eraserhead and you are super duper cool i also don't remember if i included this, but: your mother asks you after the first evening. "you're not really friends are you." you say: "nope!" and it is the happiest she has ever seen you. the ua boys try to flirt with you and get hurt really stupidly a lot on purpose. you wonder why they've stopped showing up. it's bc katsuki gives them a whole earful. and you're like bitch what the fuck im a doctor and and hes just tsundere about it first kiss scene instead of the ending where he's like you care and you're like of course i do??? what the fuck?? are u stupid?? you guys start yelling at each other and you're both acting like ur 2. he calls you stupid and blind. you call him ugly. he's so mad he literally just lurches forward and kisses you. it's awkward and messy and you guys are so mad at each other. you literally headbutt him in the face. ah young love. ⇁ this was another alternative ending more exploration behind reader's character, her insecurities, and about some of the stuff i info dumped before the start of the katsuki povs? i feel like i didn't handle that as well as i could have, but i also didn't want to go on 10 billion tangents for things that had very little relevance to the story. i also think the transition to the last scene was a little abrupt, but tbh at that point i was just so ready to call it like. i just didn't see the point. i think it would have made for a more natural reading experience, so here's the tea: he's proud of u but u guys are angsty and ignore each other until after training camp. [more brainrot pining moments]. if i had to write the above scene, i think i'd do something along the lines of: you're first aid relief at the sports festival, not actively participating. dunno if you'd be nearly as badass, though. you definitely get pissed when they muzzle katsuki and probably get rly mad but ofc u cant show it. so u just unmuzzle him and walk away and hes staring after u. this is ur ??? elsa arc? i dont remember the disney princess. the training camp is torture. aizawa makes u run with them. you tell him straight up that u hate his guts. he grins like that is the best thing anyone has told him in his life. katsuki definitely blows up some earth monsters for u. but while ur not looking. he's angsty like that. the bath scene? oh lord u just know he blows mineta up. maybe he lowk fucks it up too and you have to heal it! the potential HAHAHA. i dont know how you end up getting kidnapped, but id probably just bullshit a reason like ur the #1 healer in the world hurr durr and afo wants u! idgaf if the plot makes sense or not this is entirely secondary to my scheming. katsuki just about loses it when he hears you're one of the targets -> how you get kidnapped? idk. you're not a remedial student, so you're probably participating in the game (odd number of ppl right). unsure of how i'd handle the news of your kidnapping: just know katsuki loses it again. for like the 5th time. yipppeeeeee

character notes, thoughts

your quirk is literally just you take people's injuries into your own body and heal it yourself. you're superhuman. i put 2 thoughts into this: 1) you're a healer and 2) i like cool characters. congratulations. you have now been born. i don't even remember if i kept the shouto scene. but anyways i think my bias was showing. just had to throw him in there. also the kuroo mention. sorry i'm totally normal and i mean it ⇁ btw i love you all (everyone who likes/interacts with my fics) but i joke to my friends everytime someone interacts w my first bakugo/midoriya ones from lacuna bc guys!!! my shoto fic is RIGHT THERE!!! the baby that launched the entire collection. please show him some love this reader is probably one of the favorite ones i have written, more of an oc at this point i think, and i wasn't expecting her to grow on me so much. but lowk i love her and am so proud of the way i wrote her growth!! i do feel like i wrote her very soft, but i hope her flaws were made very clear⏤ she is meant to be a sort of unreliable narrator, so she also is overly critical of her own, but there were several things that were not addressed as i was writing, particularly concerning midoriya. (quirk, the bullying, bystander's guilt.) however, i think that including them would have made me go off on a tangent, and detract more from the main point of the story i also do think i wrote katsuki a little ooc, if only because i didn't see the point of including what's already there in canon. sorry. my brainrot did not extend that far, and by the end of this, i was literally ready to drop. his perspective isn't meant to be all-encompassing (in the story, it may seem like it purely bc of how i paced it) but those are meant to be like. random thoughts that appear in several scenes. reader does not have bakugo living rent free in her head 24/7, and neither does he. they're just stupid and pining and i just wrote all the moments in my head where they do.

[the-one-who-lambs]

hi hey holy fuck i'm done with this. I tried to render for the first time following a "15 minute" tutorial and my noob ass turned it into a 3 hour learning experience. But now I have Narinder's reference for The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God! Rambles under readmore

SO I BARELY DRAW because I started learning how to draw like... May of last year, and then went bonkers over the summer making lots of progress and once the school year started in august I dropped it to focus on writing... and have drawn basically 1 thing in between then and now. Anyway. Last week I remembered, oh yeah, I used to draw sometimes. And suddenly had an all consuming urge to practice again.

And you know what? I forgot how fucking FUN drawing is. I take it much less seriously than I do my writing so my technique for now is pretty much "go ham and try a bunch of shit because you're getting practice and having fun with it anyway". and it IS fun until I try to do a specific thing and can't figure out how so thanks to those who tuned in to my stream tonight to see me push through the frustrating part of finishing this LMAO. uh according to the krita file this took me 13 and a half hours

If you didn't catch it a while back, the one thing I drew during my kinda-art-hiatus was my Lambert reference! Normal outfit, casual outfit (that they sometimes wear while off-duty, usually when visiting Ratau or just hanging out alone), and wedding outfit ^^

...Which means now that I have my narilamb references I can commission my friends. i have a few people who i already plan to open my wallet for.

"Ive already drawn you fanart for ur fic and now the outfits are very slightly wrong :<" ITS FINE I AM CHERISHING IT FOREVER PLS DONT CHANGE IT ITS PERFECT

"is it okay if i draw your designs" Why do yall think i would be mad about this i will eat that shit UP i would fucking LOVE that and I'm already foaming at the mouth because i'd been asked that a couple times while i was drawing narinder's reference lol

I'm still a beginner and constructive criticism is welcome! Will probably make less intensive references for the OCs in Risen/Fallen or at least draw them, Thenana and Juno for sure

[another-delta-lover]

YAP [RANT] TO ME ABT HEAVY!!!!!

HE'S SO FUCKING PERFECT.

I get MAD when people simp for medic bc, I understand, tumblr insane sexy man blabla yadda yadda IDGAF

You all CAN'T SEE HOW MUCH OF A PERFECT PERSON HE IS. He's such a good person, he's such a good son and older brother, doin the dishes for his mama, caring about the absolute safety of his sisters, LITERALLY SAVING EM FROM A THING I FORGOT IT'S NAME WHEN HE WAS LIKE, IDK FUCKIN <20< ??? HE'S SUCH A GOOD FAMILY MEMBER. HE WOULD PROTECT U SO WELL AND ALWAYS CARE ABOUT UR SAFETY. AUGH ES UN HOMBRE Q RESUELVE LO JURO. HE ALSO RISKS HIS LIFE TO HAVE MONEY FOR THEM??? AAAAAAAAAAA. He does enjoy his job a lot (WHICH I LOVE IN SOMEONE. HELL YEAH ENJOY UR JOB AND GET WELL PAID), But the main reason of him working is just for his family and the money to help them. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?????

Also HE'S SUCH A GOOD TEAMMATE???? HE WILL PROTECT ALL OF HIS TEAM WITHOUT FEAR AND WIN??? AND ALL HE NEEDS IS SOME CUNTY GAY ASS GERMAN DUDE BEHIND HIM??. He could be such a good grandpa/father figure or even just a really good n close friend to all the mercs, but even so, he acts so cold so quiet and mysterious around em🤭

AND ALSO!!! His masculinity ain't broken by showing love to his teammates??? He can hug em and literally yell to them "I LOVE YOU" from across the map??? Sayin "I LOVE YOU DOKTOR!!" Isn't common between men, even less in that time. If he IS gay, good for him! If he isn't, I'm glad he can express how much he loves someone without the fear of lookin weak is something I admire soso muchhh.

He has a minigun the SIZE OF MY FUCKIN BODY THAT HE CAN CARRY RUNNING WITHOUT ANY KIND OF PROBLEM??? HE COULD CARRY ME AROUND LIKE A STICK AND WOULDN'T EVEN AAHAGAJSHDHAGSH DO YOU REALIZE HE TAKES CARE OF THAT GUN LIKE SHE WAS HIS CHILD??? HE'S A GOOD FUCKING PARENT TOO?? AAAHHHH IM NORMAL

He's a good cook, he cooks really nice meals and doesn't mind to share u some, which I wouldn't do bc I don't share my food. HESO NICE AUGHH. I LOVE IT WHEN MA BOI COOKS😭😭😭 IDK WHY THAT MAKES PEOPLE MORE ATTRACTIVE FOR ME.

Also, HE'S SO FUCKING PRETTY???????? IDGAF HE'S BALD, THAT'S THE BEST PARTY. HIS BLUE EYES ARE SO PRETTY N HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE SO SILLYY

LOOK AT HIM!!!! AUGHHH

Also his body is so JAHSLAHDJQHDJALSH he so big so perfect😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 His arms are the size of my whole body. AND HIS HANDS AAAAAAAAAA. He so FAT I LOVE HIM. I need him to crush me un a hug so badly. U all don't understand how much of a good body that could be in a relationship. U cold? U hug him problems gone. U wanna be cozy at night but the pillow is too small? He's the biggest pillow and he can hug u back that's soNSHSJAVDJSHD. He can carry u in his arms when u tired, u can lay on his chest and everything.... sighhh.... AND ALSO HE CAN FIGHT A BEAR WITH HIS BARE FISTS AND WIN, THEN EAT IT???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT IS????? LIKE HOLY FUCK THAT'S LIKE THE PEAK OF MANLINESS FOR ME. The question "would u rather be in a forest with a man or with a bear" I'M CHOOSING THIS BEAR HOLY FUCK HE WOULD PROTECT ME FROM THE BEARS.

ALSO HIS VOICE OH GOD HIS VOICE. It's such a loud and strong voice in English 🤭 even tho he isn't the best at it (me neither), HE SPEAKS IN SUCH A WAY IT MAKES ME KICK MY FEET GIGGLE AND CRY. I need him to say nice stuff to me with his cool asf voice. And when IT'S IN RUSSIAN AHHH😩~ I SWEAR He's such an elegant and polite man😭😭😭 he sounds so professional and ajsvqkebalhdmaoevs And IDC what u all say to me, he could sing so perfectly<3 for me his dialogs of him singing are well sung/GEN. I just imagine him singing:

To me.... Ik the song is kinda sad and not very romantic but IDC HE WOULD SOUND SO PERFECTLY.

HE HAS A PHD IN RUSSIAN LITERATURE LIKE....... HE'S SO FUCKING SMART. HE'S ALSO PRETTY FUCKIN RICH??? IT COST 400,000 DOLLARS TO FIRE HIS WEAPON FOR 12 SECONDS???? AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT IF HE KNOWS THAT HE'S 1. really fucking smart 2. THE ONE WHO PAYS??? Even if he wasn't rich I still love him a lot but I'm poor so that would make it slightly better. AND ALLTHE MONEY TO HIS FAMILY MOSTLY AUGHHH ALSHAKSHAKDHA

Also his COSMETICS. HIS FUCKING COSMETICS ARE SO HOT AAAAAAA. Most of em are normal silly hats but WHEN THEY AREN'T. OHMY GOD THOSE DARK GLOVES GOT MY LEGS SHAKIN. AND HAVE YOU SEEN HIM IN SUITS??? OH GOD AUGHHH. Not into mafia people n stuff BUT.... FOR HIM I MAKE A BIG AHH EXCEPTION. And also, i want to point out the fact that HE WEARS DRESSES. I shouldn't make it a big dear but DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S THE 60's-70's???? AND HE'S A BIG RUSSIAN MAN???? He broke the gender dressing codes of the time not only bc he's a man wearing dresses, but a BIG MAN WEARING THEM??? AND A RUSSIAN MAN??? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME????💔💔💔💔 Also his hats are cute I like them.

Just to summary:

Medic < HEAVY!!!

Good person I general, son, older brother, teammate, friend, father and possible partner, risking his life for his family.

He doesn't think lovin teammates is weird or GAY. Unless he is, but honestly good for him

STRONG AS HELL. AJGAJAHDJA

GOOD COOK!!!!

PRETTY!!!!!PRETTY REALLY PRETTY!!! HANDSOME

GORGEOUS FREAKING BODY.

FOUGHT WITH A BEAR AND WON

VOICE OF AN ANGEL!!!!

SMART AND RICH??? AND HE DESERVES TO BE RICH.

AMAZING STYLE.

DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GENDER NORMS.

YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. AAAGHHHHH ILOVEHIM YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T YOU CAN'T YOU YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND.

[kairiscorner]

CONGRATS ON 1.5K POOKIE ‼️❤️😼😼

if u have time i wanna like request a 42!miles x reader where reader hears some girls shit talking miles about random stuff u pick !! and then she gets like super mad at confronts them and it turns into like this bigass fight a crowd forms and everything and maybe it could be like outside the building where miles is and him and ganke are eating and they hear the noises and stuff and miles is like “wtf is that.. 🌚” and ganke looks out the window and he’s just like “bro it’s ur girl what the fuck.. ⁉️⁉️😨⁉️” and miles is just like 🏃‍♀️�� and pushes the big ass crowd away n sees his girlfriend beating the shit out of the person and he like breaks it up and takes her out of the area and she explains the whole thing ab how it was ab him and he’s jus like “you don’t even know how much i love you what the hell. ⁉️⁉️😣” and it’s just fluffy in the end ????

HELP WHY DID I MAKE THIS SO SPECIFIC.. if this is like too long don’t even worry about it pookie you already feed me enough w all ur fics im in LOOVVVEVEVE !! anyways congrats again 😼😼

say that again to my face. — miles 42 x fem!reader

summary: sometimes, people forget that they should be minding their own business instead of giving their unsolicited opinions on matters they have nothing good to say about—and especially not to offend a guy's girlfriend by shit talking her boy when she's not taking any of your shit. pairing: miles 42 x fem!reader genre: slight angst and comfort word count: 1,519 author's note: AWW POOKIE, THANKIES !! man ngl, i like the thought of reader being the type of person to not take your shit and be the defender this time instead of miles, HE DESERVES SOMEBODY WHO'S WILLING TO GET HURT FOR HIM, TOO, OKAY !!! omg i hope you like this 💖💖💖

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

the shuffling of feet and excited, worried clamoring of other students as they drew more attention to the occurrence outside of the school building was creating more and more tension as nearly everyone exited the cafeteria and went outside to the school grounds. "what's... going on?" miles asked ganke as they exited the cafeteria, with ganke's eyes widening as he got a good look of what was going on and who exactly was the center of attention right now for a not-so good reason. he grabbed miles by the shoulders and dragged him to a spot where he could view the chaos a little better. "dude, it's your girl, she's going crazy on this other girl!" he exclaimed with a rushed voice, worried for you as much as miles should've been, had he known it was you all along being gathered around and filmed as chaos ensued.

as soon as miles heard that his girl was getting some unwanted attention–having a whole crowd surround her–he had to get her out of there immediately. he wove his way through the people filming, cheering and chanting, and merely watching as you throttled this girl you were fighting the best you could–repeating to her as she exclaimed and tried fighting you back: 'what, too scared to say it again? huh? i'll show you who you're messing with this time, bitch!' the crowd went wild hearing you cuss, it wasn't rare for you to cuss since practically everyone was aware you weren't the most innocent person around—but you were definitely a sweetheart, to the right people; no one could believe you were capable of hurting someone this badly, not even miles could believe you were saying all these awful things that sounded so uncharacteristic of you. as miles made his way towards you, his eyes widened, his heart sinking in his stomach as he watched you wrestle with this other girl and screaming at her–hurling insults and taunts at her through teary eyes, yelling out in pain as she pulled at your hair and tried scratching at your face.

"mi cielo, enough!" he exclaimed as he dashed over to you, nearly tripping over as he got in between you two and took the other girl's hits for you. ganke had made his way through the crowd and helped you up, with miles telling everyone the fight was over, there was nothing left to watch, as he jogged off to see you by the infirmary as the crowd gathered around the girl fighting with you just earlier. after you got patched up, ganke left you and miles to have a talk together. miles founs it very out of character for you to have done what you did–after all, you hated violence; there was no way you would've fought that girl for no reason, not unless it was a good reason. "babe, please... what happened?" miles asked you in a soft, worried tone as he placed his hand on your arm and gently caressed you, rubbing your arm slowly up and down, hoping you'd answer when you were ready.

you took in a deep breath and pulled out your phone. "i know this isn't the most justified reason, but, miles... watch this." you told him as you unlocked your phone, scrolled over to your gallery and clicked on a recently taken video of you on the thumbnail. miles obliged and took the phone from your hands, watching the video as it played out. the video started off as a sweet little video message you were gonna send miles, a cute little short of showing him the dance moves you were practicing for fun and ask him what he thought–you were filming this by the sinks at the girl's comfort room, with nobody else there–until midway in the video, a couple of popular kids that used to bully you had entered, and you soon took your phone away, forgetting to pause the recording.

you remained silent and pretended to wash your hands, propping your phone down as you washed your hands to cover up anything else you were doing earlier, not wanting to attract these girls' attention. they were in deep conversation about such shallow things–boys, clothes, victims of their bullying escapades and laughing at their poor, pitiful faces–and you were getting all the more disgusted the longer you heard them. one of the girls then mentioned a name you were quite familiar with, it was, of course, your boyfriend's name.

"oh, yeah, that morales kid... he's kinda weird, not gonna lie." said the girl, causing you to involuntarily look their way. the other girls agreed, stating that he seemed too quiet or too cringy in his outfits, in his shoes, in his choice of friends–or in their eyes, his lack thereof. they cackled to themselves how, for a cute boy from middle school, he ended up seeming like a real 'weirdo'. "it's such a shame... i honestly found his whole little sweetheart act in middle school so adorable, now he's just a killjoy. guess his dad not being around taught him how to turn girls away from him instead of making him even a bit likeable." "what did you say?" you butt in, drying your hands, the camera still rolling and you not noticing.

the girls looked your way with quizzical looks in their eyes, they don't remember you since you had quite the difference in your appearance from when they bullied you a few years ago, but nonetheless, you seemed like a bug to them–a pest–like every other kid at this school that was at their disposal. the girl rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing you up and down. "who are you?" "not important. now, what did you say again?" you asked her, your eyes narrowing at her, with her eyes narrowing down at yours. the girl chuckled and sauntered over to you, her face in the frame now–looking completely different than the beaten and battered girl from earlier. she smirked at you and neared her face to yours, which was still scowling at her. "i get it... you like him, don't you? figures, a little... nobody like you with a little freak like him, acting like little weirdos that think they're more than muck in gutters, thinking they're hot shit for standing up to me–" and with that, your nostrils flared as you fumed, and grabbed at her hair; furious that she had the gall to talk to you that way.

miles watched incredulously as you kept pulling the girl's hair, practically screaming at her to say what she said again as the girl retaliated and slapped at your hands, yelling for the girls with her to get you off her–but those girls did nothing to help. they walked out of the comfort room and presumably ran off out the halls to avoid your wrath. and after some roughhousing... you two ended up at the school grounds, where that all went down. after watching, miles looked at you with pain in his eyes; guilty tears soon filling his eyes as shameful tears filled yours as you clung on to miles' sleeve.

"babe, i'm sorry... nothing will ever make this better, but i... i never meant to hurt her, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to cause a scene, i... i just couldn't bear to have them say that to you..." you mumbled out in choked sobs as you began to cry. miles shushed you and wiped the tears from your eyes, cupping your face and holding you close to him as he set your phone away. "mi amor... i'm sorry, i'm sorry you... oh, i can't even... you didn't have to do that for me. i... i'm okay with being labelled as a weirdo, a freak–just as long as you don't get hurt. that's all i want... i love you more than you could ever know, you don't even... i love you, mi vida..." he whispered as he kissed your forehead, eliciting more tears to fall down your cheeks as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him tightly.

if he was gonna be honest, if someone else said the same things about you, miles would not hesitate to have done as you did–confront those assholes and show them what's what; but having that fone for him felt so... different. he felt guilty, somehow, that you got hurt and hurt someone for him–risked getting disciplinary action for him and getting a lot of people against you for him. he wants to make it up to you, but all he can do now is be here in the moment and reassure you that, no matter what other people may think of him, nothing matters to him as long as he has you by his side to be his strength to keep fighting every day and live. he'd gladly wear the title of 'freaky little weirdo' while hand-in-hand with you–because as long as you'd be safe, as long as you'd be okay, that's all that matters to him–nothing else, just you and him together.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @onginlove @meowmoraless @euphovlq

[lunicho]

On the other hand I feel like eunseok is a certified meanie. Currently thinking of this: you’re gonna for a sleepover with ur bestie and he just can’t take it ;( he would send u sexy pics and this could go two ways you either whine and tell him to stop OR you send pics back WHICH WOULD GET HIM SO MAD AND RILED UP!!! Like no you’re meant to crumble for him!!! He’d tell u to get his ass to him immediately and if u don’t he’d defo make sure u can’t walk the next day saying things like “did u want me to work for it?” And this just started something else in me aha eunseok working for it 👀👀👀 okay anyways I need to get some sleep girl pls tell me ur craziest eunseok thoughts -🧚‍♀️

(send riize asks to @angeltsan)

needy eunseok.. i like it.. after he sends pics of his cock hard in his boxers he fully expects u to say you're coming over, needing to feel him immediately. thinking about how he'd go crazy the moment a pic of u hits his phone. your face is cut off, getting a full view of your body, you're sitting on your knees, slightly lifting your shirt over your belly, your thighs on full display in your tiny shorts. he'd immediately call you, fully prepared to tell you you're crazy but when you decline his call he's speechless. he'd send you so many messages about how you better get home now and how he's gonna ruin u when he gets his hands on u but u just keep leaving him on seen which makes him even crazier. you'd send him more photos, going into the bathroom and snapping more revealing photos, sending them to him instead of responding. he'd eventually be able to convince u to come to him, atp he's fuming bc like??? ur usually not like this like he doesn't even understand u rn. eunseok working for it has got me going crazy tho like imagine how he'd be if you're still so firm about not giving in to him, he'd just wanna eat you up but you won't let him.

"no no seok.. you made me leave my friends house to let you get your dick wet.. don't cum yet.." his sigh would be frustrated and he'd look down at you with heavy eyelids, grabbing your legs and pushing them further to your chest, his cock rubbing against u. he's extremely turned on by your teasing but he'd never admit it. he'd make you cum so many times, edging himself over and over as per your request. you're absolutely spent by the time he cums.

[kim-the-miserable-rat]

I SAW A TIKTOK WHERE A GUY SAID THAT "LES MIS" WAS JUST A THREE HOUR MUSICAL OF THE FRENCH COMPLAINING

(and I mean, he's not entirely wrong.)

(JUST ACT 1 CAUSE I UNDERESTIMATED HOW LONG THIS WOULD TAKE ME)

So here's a list of what they complain about in each song:

LOOK DOWN: the prison system sucks

PROLOGUE: the life of an exconvict sucks

VALJEAN'S SOLILOQUY: this guy is too nice how dare he? And also the prison system still sucks.

AT THE END OF THE DAY: my workplace is full of cunts

I DREAMED A DREAM: men are the worst

LOVELY LADIES: selling my necklace, hair and becoming a prostitute to help my child is something that I have all the right to be mad about (she's completely right, Fantine you deserved sooooo much better queen)

FANTINE'S ARREST: (to the bourgeoisie asshole) stop dehumanizing me I will fight you (to javert) your justice is not fair (to Jean Valjean) It's kinda your fault that im in this situation tbh

THE RUNAWAY CART: (javert) YO HOMIE WTF ARE YOU HULK? [suspecting]or are you buff because of slavery?.....

WHO AM I?: Oh poo! Now I have to choose between lying (it will make god sad) or going back to jail (hundreds of people will lose their jobs and end up living in misery by my actions) Fuck them workers, im an honest man, lets save that one innocent man.

THE TRIAL: the justice system is flawed. Look at my sick ass tattoo in my chest. Ok nvm im going to se Fantine fuck you all.

FANTINE'S DEATH: I will never see my daughter again this is so unfair (it really is)

THE CONFRONTATION: (Jean Valjean) Javert could you FUCKING WAIT A SECOND! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO(Javert) Im going to drop all my lore in two lines that you will not get cause were all singing at the same time; and NO, you can't just go, WTF?

CASTLE ON A CLOUD: HELLO, CHILD SLAVERY???? SOMEBODY HELP THIS CHILD ASAP!!!

MASTER OF THE HOUSE: Madam Thenardier has a solo just to talk shit about his husband (and he deserves every bit of it)

THE BARGAIN: (Thenardiers) NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR LITTLE TREASURE AWAY -unless you pay for her, that is-

PARIS (look down reprise): EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, WE HATE IT HERE!

THE ROBBERY: (Eponine) FUCK YOU MARIUS MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! (Javert) Ewwww... i hate criminals! and also poor people. Same thing to me, really.

STARS: I'm so obsessed with that fugitive that it's starting to blur into an homoerotic desire. Also HOW DARE HE to be free? I will hunt him for sport

EPONINE'S ERRAND: (Eponine) So now I have to help YOU, the boy im in love with to find a random girl? ALSO WTF DON'T GIVE ME MONEY YOU ASSHOLE.

ABC CAFE: (Enjolras) STOP WHINING MARIUS, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR NON EXISTENT LOVE LIFE, WE ARE PLANNING A REVOLUTION HERE, YOU KNOW? Also please guys can we take this thing seriously? Please please please :(

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?: (the people, obviously) time to eat the rich or die trying!

RUE PLUMMET/IN MY LIFE: (Cosette) father, ur cool to be around and all that but.... Who the fuck are you? And why do we act like we are convicts running from the law (cause ur dad kinda is, sweetie)

A HEART FULL OF LOVE: (Eponine) It fucking sucks to have helped my crush find the girl he's in love with[who would have thought?] Guess I will look at them longingly from like five feet away while they confess their love for each other and purposefully ignore me.

THE ATTACK ON RUE PLUMMET: (Eponine) GODAMNIT they will think I'm one of those assholes I have to do something! Go away or I'll scream IM INSANE I WILL FUCKING DO IT. Also fuck you dad. (Babet) I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE LORE, GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY THENARDIER (Thenardier) Im surrounded by idiots! (Jean Valjean) TIME TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, FUCK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO SEE MY DOWNFALL.

ONE DAY MORE: (Jean Valjean) Kinda sucks to have to run from the law [yeah homie we noticed that] (Marius & Cosette) OH NO! I'LL BE SEPARATED FROM THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I MET A WEEK AGO. WHAT A GREAT TRAGEDY (Eponine) Marius still doesnt care about me. (Enjolras) He's not complaining, he's having the best time of his life. Good for him. Enjoy it while it lasts, citizen! (Javert) Guess I'll go as a spy with this cool new outfit. [Again, not a complain but important to notice]

OK, THIS DESCENDED INTO MADNESS.

EXPECT ACT 2 SOON :)