#easy to hate chapter 15

[imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters]

Chapter 15. Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet?

Lowkey I am fully aware that it seems like I don’t put a lot of what goes on behind the scenes with Albus and his family and I for real will get onto doing that soon (in fact there is some in this chapter!)

Anyways, this is also posted onto my Fanfiction.net account SomeKind0fMagic and my Wattpad somekindofmagic1 and my AO3 account s0m3kind0fmagic so you can check it out on there too!

I do not own Harry Potter

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Albus’s eyes drifted from the homework he was trying to finish before class as he heard the sound of owls coming into the Great Hall. he wasn’t expecting anything so he turned back to the Herbology work. He swore that he was going to do it by himself, without Annie’s help, but he had gotten distracted by Quidditch practice and had forgotten it at the bottom on his bag until Annie asked about it and now he was stuck scrambling to try and remember everything he could about Mandrake’s so that he would get the answers right and so that he wouldn’t have to explain why he failed such an easy assignment and explain that quidditch distracted him. He knew that Professor Longbottom wouldn’t accept that excuse.

Honestly, Albus was sure that no teacher really would since he chose to try out for the team and accepted his position.

He heard a strange noise come from Annie so he turned to look at her, brow raised as she tossed the  letter in front of her. “Everything okay?” A small hint of laughter in his voice.

She sighed, “Apparently, Mum and dad are fighting over Liana again and apparently it’s freaking Clara out. Or at least according to Aidan as she’s staying with him.” She moved a piece of hair out of her face, “But, at least I guess this is, on the bright side, Cass is pregnant so I’m gonna be an Aunt.”

He noted the indifference, that almost sounded unjoyful, tone in her voice. He moved more to face her. “Is that not good, somehow?”

She shrugged, “I dunno, ask me again in ten years.”

He laughed, turning back to his parchments. “Alright I guess I will.”

And as he was grabbing a piece of bacon, looking at the question again to try to answer it when he heard a soft voice call out his name. “Albus?” He looked over to almost behind him and saw the blonde hair of his younger cousin.

He coughed to clear his throat, trying to clear any confusion or even shock from his voice. “Lucy? What’s up?”

She held out a few envelopes to him, “These were for you. Your parents' owl accidently sent them to James instead so he sent me to give them to you. Plus this other one from someone else was sent to James by accident too.”

“Oh,” He took them from her hands, almost hesitantly for some reason. As he moved to place them next to his work, he glanced at her. “Thanks.” He brushed a small bit of hair from his eyes. “Is that all?” She nodded and he tapped his thigh slightly. “Okay...I’m gonna get back to my work and food.”

She nodded again, “See you later Albus.”

He hummed in agreement as he turned back and she walked away. He didn’t even spare a look at the Gryffindor table, already knowing that at least James was staring him down. He finished eating the piece of bacon he had previously grabbed and looked back at his homework. But he didn’t even last ten seconds before he felt eyes on him. He slowly looked up to see Scorpius staring at him. He raised a brow at his friend, “Can I help you?”

“Are you gonna read those letters?”

“Am I not allowed to do my homework ethically? Without cheating? At this point with the amount of distractions or interruptions, I’m never gonna get it done in time!” He heard Annie snort and he pointedly turned to her. “Really? You’re really going to make fun of me at this time?”

“Here.” She laughed out, grabbing a few pieces of parchment similar to his. “Just copy them, Al. do the usual and change the wording. I’m honestly tired of watching you slowly lose it.”

He gave her a bland face, almost thinking about pushing her off of the bench. “I hate you.”

“Lies.” She smiled sweetly and pushed hair from her own face, “But Scorpius is right, are you gonna read them?”

He slid Annie's work over closer to him and put his quill down. “I guess. But I seriously don’t understand why you two want me to read them.”

As he grabbed one, Scorpius shrugged, “Chaos.”

He hummed and started to read the first letter:

Albus,

How has your second year been going outside of making the team? Honestly, getting a letter that says “made the team, you can send my broom.” wasn’t exactly what I was asking for when I told you to write more. 

But besides that, we’re all happy for you and will try to make the first game. Neville said that it was against Gryffindor so it’ll be most of the family as Rose also made the Gryffindor team as a Chaser. Ron made a joke that now Lily and Hugo just need to make the team when they get to Hogwarts and then basically everyone in the family was on the team.

Astoria also sent me a letter telling me that Scorpius made the team, let him know I say congratulations and that we’ll see you at the game.

Love,

Mum

“Mum knows you also made the team, Scor, she says congrats.”

He saw the small smile on his face, “Tell her I say thanks, whenever you write to her again.”

“Actually,” He started as he began to fold up the paper and grabbed the next, “She said that she’ll try to make it to the game against Gryffindor on the 13th. So if she makes it, you could just tell her then.”

“Ah yes, because you won’t write to her before then.”

“I won’t.” He muttered as he started to read the next one that was really more of a note.

Hey Albus, I was wondering if you could help me with some Transfiguration? I would ask in person but I only ever see you in the Great Hall during meal times and then you’re with your friends and I don’t wanna bother you. I understand if you can’t though! Vic just said to go to you if I needed help, and you said to as well over summer.

Thanks! Louis

Albus looked over to the Ravenclaw table to where his younger cousin was talking to a guy that he was pretty sure was a first year too. He turned back to Annie and Scor, “I’ll be back. I’m gonna go talk to my cousin Louis.”

“That was the one who ended up sitting with us on the train, right?”

He nodded, “Yeah, he needs help with some stuff so he wrote to me about it so I was just...going to talk to him.”

“Help with what?” He started to walk away as Annie questioned him, “Albus, you can’t even--”

He walked off shaking his head, truly pretending he didn’t hear her questioning him over this. Even before he made it all the way over to the Ravenclaw table, he saw the people staring at him and did the best that he could to try and ignore it. He was used to it, oddly enough now. but...it couldn’t help feel weird as he got closer. It was stranger than what he was used to. It didn’t feel like the stares he had gotten since becoming a Slytherin nor did it feel like the ones for him being a Potter. It was like...a mix of the two he guessed.

He got up to his cousin and cleared his voice, saying his cousin's name gentler than he usually would. “Louis?”

Louis looked back and smiled at Albus, “Albus! Did you get my note?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I did. And I’m willing to help you out with whatever.”

“Thank you! When could you start?”

“Well, I have practice every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 4 to 6, then Anne makes me study every Tuesday. So how’s Thursdays at about 5 and then until Dinner?”

“That works out great! Thank you so much Al!”

He smiled at his cousin, “Course Louis, we’re family, it’s what I’m supposed to do.” He ignored the small sting he felt from himself when he said that aloud. 

Louis smiled, “Of course! So I’ll see you Thursday?”

Albus nodded, “See you Thursday.” And as he turned to walk away, he quickly turned back to Louis, “And Louis?” He looked at him, “Don’t be scared to come over to the Slytherin table. We don’t bite. Most of us at least.” The last bit was a slight joke and an afterthought. However, the more he thought about it, he actually couldn’t guarantee that it was a joke. He was sure that a few people would bite.

His cousin laughed, “Okay, got it!”

This time, Albus turned and walked back to his table and knew full well that even more people were staring at him as he did so. People that were in different houses were even watching him. His family at the Gryffindor table were the most, especially James and Rose. he saw them from the corner of his eye although he tried to pretend that he didn’t. But he just ignored them and walked back to his friends. 

He even saw Annie and Scorpius’ eyes on him and as he sat back down next to Annie, Scorpius leaned in from across. “Dude, like everyone was staring at you while you talked to your cousin. I think that James was trying to make you explode or something with how hard and long he was staring at you!”

He laughed at his friend before playfully rolling his eyes, “Really? I didn’t even notice.”

“Seriously?!”

“He was being sarcastic, Scor.”

“Oh.”

Albus nodded before taking the papers that Annie had previously given him and quickly copying down it all before breakfast ended and he was considered to be done for.

--------

Thursday had come quicker than Albus had originally thought and now he was sitting in the library, waiting for his cousin to show. Fear began to sneak in as he looked around, in no sight was the blonde hair of his cousin. Slowly, he began to wonder if perhaps it was just some prank. That Louis was like the others. Although, he had to doubt it. Neither of his sisters were that way and it never appeared that Louis’ parents had any care about it. 

If he was really going to be completely honest, Albus was beginning to wonder why he was even doing this. He was only a year older than Louis and Annie was right. He tended to struggle to get his own work done, how could he help his cousin? But it wasn’t like it was entirely that Albus didn’t understand what he was being taught. He did, most of the time. It was just hard for him to get the work done outside of class. He didn’t see the point of studying and doing the homework. He did well on quizzes and always passed without problems when it came to practical exams. He just...didn’t want to have to apply all of the time. He just didn’t see the point.

He looked over to his side as he heard the sound of a chair scraping the floor. Finally, he saw the blonde hair of his cousin, who also had an apologetic look on his face. “I’m so sorry Albus! I was talking with Liana and I didn’t even realize what time it was.”

Albus smiled at him, “That’s fine, we’ll just have a little less time than originally planned.”

He smiled in a sort of grateful way, “That’s fine.” 

Albus cleared his throat for a moment, “How is Liana by the way?”

“She’s good. She doesn’t really talk much about her family, but I think everyone in the house knows that she’s upset over what happened.” Albus nodded as Louis grabbed a book from his bag before sighing. “Can you just promise not to talk about this to anyone? Or at least anyone who would tell someone in our family. I don’t want someone like Rose or Molly finding out and then getting mad because I didn’t go to them.”

Albus offered a small smile and nod. He knew better than to ask, despite him wanting to more than anything. Ask why he hadn’t gone to Rose or Molly first. They were smarter, it was known. They would be able to get him up to speed in no time. But all Albus could do after was rub his nose, feeling how cold it was starting to get in the castle before pointing to the book Louis had placed in front of them.

“So, what in Transfiguration do you need help with?”

He heard Louis give out an awkwardly uncomfortable laugh and saw him rubbing his neck. “Um...All of it?”

Albus laughed, trying to make him feel better. “That’s fine. Transfiguration isn’t all that easy.” Especially if one is just going based on the book. “Well, we might as well start and try to see what we can get you to understand.” He opened up the book, “So--”

--------

The two cousins hadn’t even realized that dinner was starting until a painting by them had mumbled something about how studious the two were as they were there and dinner was starting. And as soon as they had heard that, Louis had quickly slammed his book shut, shoving it into his bag as Albus frantically grabbed his. Before they exited the library, they agreed to meet again the next week, just that time on time (although Albus was sure one of them would be late, punctuality wasn’t something their family was known for).

So now Albus was running down the stairs to the Slytherin common room in order to toss his bag into his room with the other second years, even though he’d have to come back for it before Astronomy. He knew someone was following him from behind but he chose to ignore it, especially as he had turned his head over his shoulder and saw James and Rose. He closed his eyes for a brief moment as he neared the common room, muttering the password and running in. He didn’t want to know what his brother and cousin wanted. And he especially didn’t want to know why they had basically followed him from the library to the dungeons. 

He ran up the stairs and opened the door to his dorm before tossing his bag onto the bed and turning around and running down the stairs again and out of the common room, back to the dungeons. He hadn’t even made it to the stairs to go back up to the Entrance Hall and head to the Great Hall for dinner when James and Rose called out to him. He stopped and closed his eyes again, letting out a breath, before turning to look at them. 

“What do you want?”

He saw James cross his arms, some sort of accusatorial look on his face. “What are you doing with Louis?”

“Nothing? We were just talking.” Albus sighed and crossed his own arms, “Y’know, like family is supposed to.”

“Albus, don’t--”

“Rose,” He looked at his cousin, “Please don’t sit there and try to act all high and mighty, please, I beg of you.”

“I wasn’t--”

“You were.” He blankly said, “That’s what you do. And I also don’t know why it matters that I’m spending more time with Louis. He’s my cousin, we’re allowed to talk and do things together.”

“Well what were you doing in the library, then?”

“Not bringing him to ‘my side’ if that’s what you think. And honestly, what is my cause? Just existing and loving my house because my friends and their families are, for the most part, extremely nice?”

“We don’t care if someone--”

He scoffed and interrupted Rose, “You don’t? Then why did you practically cast me out when I tried to tell you the truth? Not all Slytherins are bad, most aren’t. Gryffindor has just as many bad members, as does Ravenclaw, and I’m sure Hufflepuff. Slytherin isn’t the only house where people turned evil or did evil things.”

“We didn’t care, Albus, you were the one who did.”

“I didn’t. You did. But I guess you can’t see past your own ego and realize how you treat everyone outside of Gryffindor. Outside of those who worship the ground you walk on.”

James narrowed his eyes, “I never acted that way. You changed immediately and started acting like all of those people do. Acting like you’re--”

He stopped him, “No James. That’s you. You act like you’re the best. You act like no one is better than you because of who your--our dad is. Who our mum is. Who our family is. I could probably name the people who act like that in Slytherin since there’s so few. And what am I acting like? Am I acting like the horrifying villain in your story? In the story of your life where you’re the savior? Or am I just pointing out that not everyone worships you because you’re Harry Potter’s kid!”

“I have a reason to brag about my dad! He is Harry fucking Potter! He saved the Wizarding World! Stopped it from Voldemort! Who, might I add, was a Slytherin! As were all of his other followers! Including your precious Malfoy’s father! But then my father went on to marry Ginny Weasley from the Holyhead Harpies and have two kids--!”

Albus watched James’ lips move but he didn’t hear the words come out. He saw Rose look away, almost ashamed at what she was hearing. He looked at her, almost desperately. Almost begging her to tell him to stop. To prove to Albus that this was just some stupid thing that she had seen through. That she had just wanted James’ approval but he saw that she said nothing. She just looked away, avoiding his eyes. Her brown away avoiding his glassed over green ones. Albus looked back at James, almost defeatedly. And he saw the look on James’ face. Smug. As if he had just won something.

“You know...Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor and he was the reason our grandparents are dead and our father had to be the saviour of the wizarding world at 17 after going through fight after fight since he turned 11. Teddy’s grandmother was a Slytherin. And you seem to forget that Narcissa Malfoy, the woman who lied to Voldemort that our dad was dead, was a Slytherin. I don’t think it’s fair that you can say that about my house when you have one of the biggest traitors to our family.” He looked at Rose, “I hope Hugo and Lily see past you.”

He rubbed his nose and turned to walk back up the stairs, “Now if you two don’t mind, I’m heading up to the Great Hall to eat.”

He quickly ran up the stairs and held back the tears that continued to threaten to fall. He was silent as he walked over to his two friends and sat next to them. He saw the look the two of them shared, as well as saw Rohyn whisper into Scorpius’ ear but Albus didn’t have the will to say anything. He felt Annie gently touch his shoulder and he looked at her, but regretting it as he saw James walk in. Rose was nowhere in sight and it wasn’t like he cared. She made her choice and now they both had to live with that.

He fully looked at Annie before breathing out, “Liana’s doing good.”

--------

Albus stayed in the back of the Astronomy tower as Professor Sinistra spoke about something in the sky. Honestly, Albus wasn’t sure what she was saying. His book was open, flipping pages as instructed but the words just went into one ear and out the other. He looked everywhere but at the pages even. His eyes eventually fell on Rose. She was also in the back, but as far away from him as she could get. He saw her eyes. He could see the red and puffiness in them from where he was. Even as she was slightly covered in shadows. 

He hated her. He hated that she was crying. What was she crying for? She had no reason to cry. No reason to be upset. She was the one who did the harm. She didn’t get harmed. She said nothing. She deserved what he said to her. He hoped it happened. That Hugo and Lily would see how she was. See that she wouldn’t stick up for them if it would hurt her or her reputation or looks. If it would make her be on the bad side of anyone in her house.

He didn’t care what type of person it made him. He hoped that one day she would know how he felt.

--------

Albus had ran out of the Astronomy tower the second Professor Sinistra had called the end of class. He heard Annie and Scorpius call after him but he didn’t listen. He just ran out as fast as he could in order to make it back to the common room without anyone talking to him. He just...he couldn’t deal with it. Not here, not now. He really wasn’t even sure he ever wanted to talk about it, but he was sure he would have to. He was sure that someone would get it out of him, one of these days. But he didn’t want to have to think about that. No now.

Truthfully, Albus didn’t understand any of it. Understand why he felt this way. He and James had never been close, both had (separately) been closer to Lily than each other. But he wasn’t sure that he had ever thought that it would be this way. Where Albus felt like he couldn’t...well he wasn’t even sure what he felt.

He pushed the door to his dorm room, no one else was in there. He tossed his book bag to the side and he couldn’t even bring himself to remove his glasses or change into his pajamas before he fell face forward onto his bed. He just fell forward and held his pillow tightly before somehow falling asleep before everyone else made it back.

[asexualasshat]

I think if I can finish writing chapter 6 of my reddie slowburn fic today, I can start posting

[moosesarecute]

Chapter 1: The first meeting

Masterlist

The female that stood before them looked tiny. She was a lot shorter than an average faerie. However, she stood proudly and held her head high. She had small wounds all over her body. Small cuts that already should have healed, but they hadn’t. It was something else that made his attention go towards her.

Her wings were mesmerizing.

They were iridescent and had a glow that lit up parts of the dark hall.

It seemed like Amarantha was just at enchanted by them as he was.

However, the female only had one and a half wing. The upper part of her left wing was sliced off. He himself only had experience with Illyrian wings and he could only imagine the pain she must have felt.

Both the physical pain, but also the pain of no longer being able to fly.

Rhysand had never seen anyone with similar wings. It seemed like most of the people around him hadn’t.

“Where are you from girl?” Amarantha asked with her most ice voice. Even the slight threat made her nervous, and Rhys knew she wasn’t comfortable at the moment.

“Dawn,” the female answered proudly. Something about the way she presented herself felt familiar. It made him understand that she was carrying an act. The female was convincing and it seemed like only he was able to detect her unsureness.

Amarantha sent an icy glance over to Thesan and Rhys could almost feel the panic grow within the High Lord. Thesan had hidden someone for twenty years. Rhys had done the same. He only hoped Amarantha never would learn about the city he kept hidden.

“And why haven’t you presented yourself to me before now?”

It amazed him that the female didn’t even flinch as Amarantha questioned her. She did her best to look as calm as she was the moment she walked in. She still stood tall and proudly. She had definitely been trained in this. Her trainer had to be good.

“We only leave our territory when our High Lord call for us. It’s not something he does often. We got a letter, a false request from our High Lord, and we went to meet him. On the way there, we got captured.”

“Who is we?”

“My general and I. They killed him.”

Lethal. She spoke with lethal precision. Precision he had only heard from one person before.

“Rhysand,” Amarantha spoke, and he almost got shivers down his back. “Is she telling the truth?”

He hated going into people’s minds without permission, but he didn’t have a choice. He reached out to the female’s mind and immediately hit a solid wall of…tulips?

Confusion spread through him and he was about to pull out of her mind when a small hole opened and he got sucked inn instead.

“Sarah?” you yelled as loudly you possibly could.

Little two year old Sarah had just learned to fly and she tended to disappear every time you looked away. Normally that would be okay, but being eight months pregnant and running after a two year old wasn’t easy.

It didn’t help that flying made you throw up.

“Sarah?”

She still didn’t answer, so you picked up the bottom of your dress and started running. Normally running barefoot through the forest would be calming for you, but now you did your best to not freak out.

You looked behind every tree and stone and did your best to try to smell her.

“Sarah? Please! It’s dinner time soon.”

You stopped to catch your breath and that’s when your heard her.

“That’s my mommy,” her cute little voice sang from your right and you were so lucky you had found her.

You had gone through 15 terrible twos, this would not be the time where you lost a child.

You turned and expected to find Sarah talking to some flowers or maybe a bird, but to your total horror a male was crunched down in front of her.

He stood up the second he saw you. He was extremely tall and he had huge bat like wings. He held Sarah’s small hand and even though her arm was over her head, he still had to lean down a little to not lift her off the ground. His gaze was soft, but he couldn’t fool you.

You charged towards him and almost threw yourself at him. He only faltered a couple of steps and that annoyed you. However, he let go of Sarah’s hand. You picked her up and immediately flew away.

The nausea hit you immediately, but you didn’t care. Your toddler was safe and angry in your arms and that was all that mattered.

However, you couldn’t help to notice the wind brushing over your skin softer than usual.

Perhaps it wasn’t wind…

Was it shadows?

“Y/N,” Sky’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. “I think we both know what you need.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you answered him.

Sky was the person in the world that knew you better than anyone. You knew he knew you were lying, but you didn’t care. You shouldn’t be wishing for more than you already had.

“Come on,” he answered and dragged you up and out of your house.

The two of you flew all the way to the edge of your territory and when you reached the shield, you landed beside each other.

“Go for it,” he said. “I’ll be home when you get back. But please, Y/N, you need this.”

He then flew away before you even had the change to hesitate.

He wanted you to go out of the safety barrier. He wanted you to explore and find your happiness again.

It had been almost 150 years. 150 years where you had felt stuck and helpless. Years where your wings had been glowing less and less. To the point where even the healers started to worry.

You had thought about leaving many times before. You had written about it in your journal but never told anyone. You realized that Sky probably had read your journal and decided to yell at him for it later, but it would have to wait.

You were going on an adventure.  

You walked up to the magical shield and felt the familiar feeling of it pressing against you. You had gone that far at least a hundred times before, but never further.

This time, you did.

You pushed against the magic until it unexpectedly let go of you. You fell through and landed face first on the ground.

That didn’t matter.

You stood up and let out a crazy laugh.

You had done it!

You had gone out!

Finally! Finally! Finally!

The weather was beautiful.

The energy that filled you were almost foreign. You felt lighter and suddenly air filled your chest quite a lot easier than before.

You were out! You had finally gone out!

It didn’t take long before you started to wander around. The trees had grown taller and the meadow you used to play with your kids in was overgrown with flowers. Your body lead the way, you didn’t even need to think about where you were going.

The safety barrier that was put around your race’s territory was definitely helpful and the best for most of you. However, going back out and feeling the same amount of freedom you had taken for granted was a new amazing feeling.

The nature almost seemed more magical.

You decided to not wander too far away this first time, so you stopped in the familiar meadow and sat down to collect some flowers. You were going to give them to Sky. Both as a thank you for pushing you to go out, but also as something he and Coral could decorate their house with.

However, in the newfound bliss and happiness, you forgot to watch your surroundings. One moment you were smiling from ear to ear and the next, you crashed down, face first into the ground with an arrow stuck in your shoulder.

It only took you half a second to check, but your wings were luckily unharmed, for now.

“Think you could hide from us forever?”

It wasn’t surprising that the bounty hunters went against the High Lord and kept on looking for you and your family, but it still terrified you.

The small freedom you felt only lasted a couple of minutes and then you were back to being pretty much terrified.

A harsh arm pushed the arrow even deeper into your arm. It took all the power in you not to scream. You gritted your teeth so hard your jaw felt like it was breaking.

“You know how much people would pay for your pretty wings, little fly?” a voice whispered into your ear. The arrow had definitely been poisoned by something, and you felt yourself grow too weak to react. You only kept your wings as tight against your back as possible. “I hear losing your wings would be quite a painful death, so I’ll let the poison work a little longer before I start the carving.”

Your heart sunk deep into your stomach. It was the worst way to go. The wings carried healing and life. When someone lost their wings, they would die. Losing even just a piece of a wing enough to cause significant slower healing. The wings did however also heal others. That’s why you had gone through years of breeding and years of hiding from bounty hunters. The wings could heal all physical wounds. Even people seconds away from death had been able to continue living their lives without harm.

When the wings were detached from the body, the soul would slowly move through all parts of the body before it eventually escaped.

Tears started leaving your eyes, but you were otherwise too weak to even think about moving. The wound at your shoulder almost didn’t even hurt anymore and you could almost only hear your heartbeat. You did your best to stay upright, but you felt yourself lean deeper and deeper into the arms of the bounty hunter.

“I think I’ll start now,” he said and you could distantly hear the sound of him drawing his blade. You waited for the pain, but it didn’t come. The poison had luckily dampened also the feeling of the soul’s last trip. Or that is what you thought.

The rough arms of the bounty hunter was suddenly exchanged by soft touch.

“I got you,” a new distant voice spoke. Even as distant as you felt, you still heard the softness in his voice. However, the calming of the softness didn’t last very long. “I’m so sorry.”

The pain of the arrow being ripped out of your shoulder made you scream a weak scream. However, it only took seconds for the effect of the poison to decrease.

A textured hand carefully moved your jaw open, and while you tried to protest, a cold liquid was poured down your throat. You were certain this was what was going to kill you, but you were soon proven differently.

The fog that had taken over your mind lifted within seconds. Suddenly, you had feelings all over your body again.

You didn’t hesitate as you jumped to your weak feet and did your best to get away from you saver. However, as you turned around you noticed you had met the male before.

It was the same male with bat like wings and shadows that had found Sarah all those years ago. The Illyrian shadowsinger as your father had explained. He was supposed to be the most scary male in all of Prythian, but from what you could see, he looked only kind.

“Thank you,” you said with a small bow before you started to fly away. Even though your legs and arms were weak, your wings luckily worked.

“Wait!”

You don’t know what made you stop, but suddenly you stood on your feet and had turned to face the male once more.

“I’ll be here this time tomorrow,” he started. “If you wanted to explore without being scared of ambush.”

You ended up meeting him the day after.

And the day after that.

And the day after that.

Every day for a week.

And then every second day for a month.

And then, as often as possible for the rest of your lives.

It was dark when the meeting ended.

You had flown all the way to and through the boarder to get to Azriel. He was probably stressed because you weren’t at home on time, but he knew about the long meetings and how they never finished on time.

Smoke danced up from the chimney as you went through the front door. The heat felt incredible after such a long and cold night.

Even though the fresh smell of him told you that he was there, the shadows confirmed it. The pulled off your coat, let down your hair and left small kissed all over your skin.

“There you are,” Azriel’s soft voice sounded from the kitchen.

You walked in and immediately wrapped your arms around his waist. He turned around and hugged you back. He took his time smelling you and feeling you. You did the same with him. Then, he left the softest kiss on your forehead.

“I made dinner,” he said and started to plate up the food.

You loved it when he cooked. He had told you many times that he never cooked for anyone, but he was too good at it for that to be true. He was an expert.

The two of you sat beside each other as you ate. It had been three weeks apart this time. A week longer than you were used to, so you spent a lot of time almost sitting upon each other. That’s how you ended up in his lap as you spoke.

“Dad called you my husband today,” you started the wanted conversation carefully. “He said “Y/n’s husband is an outsider and he is definitely safe.””

Azriel’s eyes grew a little bit bigger, and his shadows tightened their grip around you slightly. You were theirs, they were trying to say.  

“How did he react when you corrected him?” he asked.

“I didn’t,” you answered as you looked directly at him.

His hand and shadows that were danced over the back of your hand and in your hair stopped immediately. Azriel moved his head so that he also looked directly at you. Hopeful. His eyes looked extremely hopeful.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” he asked hesitantly.

“If you don’t mind me saying what you think I am saying, then I am saying what you think I am saying.”

“Then, let’s get married tonight,” he answered, picked you up and immediately shadowwalked. It was like he was scared you would change your mind…again.

Rhys was mildly confused when he escaped y/n’s mind. He knew his brother was married. It wasn’t something he spoke a lot about, but it had slipped out after a night at Rita’s when basically all of their family tried to set Azriel up with a female. They were all surprised, but Rhys had never expected to meet his brother’s wife in such a situation.

He knew he needed to act fast.

“Where does Azriel’s mother live?” He asked her. The first priority: was the female telling the truth?

“Rosehall,” she answered confidently and without hesitation.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to feel by her answer. She was definitely his sister in law, and that meant his brother was still safe. But at the same time, he now had to do all in his power for this female to remain safe. He owed that to his brother.

A task easier said than done.

“She has a solid mental-shield, but she is telling the truth,” he said out loud to the entire throne-room.

“How many of you are there?” Amarantha asked Y/n next. Now that he was inside her mind, Rhys felt all the terror Y/n was feeling. It hit him like a brick wall. How the female looked calm on the outside, he didn’t know. Then, stress hit him. She would have to answer correctly so that the least amount of her people would die.

He reached out to all of the minds he could. He worked quickly, but precise as he tried to find out how many, if any, had been killed.

To his horror, a lot of casualties had happened.

“I need you to trust me. Tell her you are around 250,” he communicated as calmly as he could.

“We are around 250 people. I don’t know the exact number,” she answered. Her voice got a little shaky at the end.

“Remember to breathe as evenly as possible,” Rhys told her, and then he spoke aloud. “She’s telling the truth.”

“Does that mean 250 of my family is dead?”

“Don’t worry about that now, you have to stay focused.”

“Okay” she answered hesitantly, and Rhys hated it. He knew she understood, and it made him nauseous. 250 lives lost.

 “Well, my dear, it seems like it’s only you left.”

Tears fell from her eyes, but she didn’t give any other visible reaction to the news. Rhys was the only one to hear and feel the total devastation that took place in her mind.

“Good job,” he told her. “Just keep it up a little longer.”

“Throw her in the dungeons. I don’t care to deal with her now.”

It wasn’t often Rhys spoke against Amarantha’s orders, but this was too important.

“Act terrified when I propose my idea,” he told Y/n. Then he turned to face Amarantha. “If I may, my Lady. If they could send her to my room, I could find out more about her people and why she has such a good mental-shield.”

Y/n looked up at them with wide eyes. Eyes that showed so much emotion, even Rhys got surprised by it.

Amarantha smiled a smug smile at that.

“What a good idea,” she answered.

Two warriors then grabbed y/n’s arms and led her out and towards his chamber.

“You’ll be safe,” he told her, but his voice gave her no relief.

It had been twenty years since he had seen his family. 20 years since he locked Azriel into Velaris. 20 years of total struggle to find purpose. But now he had purpose.

He was going to protect his sister in law with his life.

It had been two days since y/n ended up Under the Mountain. Two days where Rhysand had been kept away from his room. The second he was able to, he almost ran to his room.

He opened the door and found the fire heating up the usually cold room.

Y/n sat curled in front of the fireplace. She moved her head to look at him as he walked in, but she stayed put. He wings still glowed, but it was almost dull. She looked exhausted and of the wounds that she carried two days ago, some of them still looked unhealed.

“Thank you,” she told him.

Rhys didn’t know how to answer her. He did help her survive that first meeting, but it wouldn’t be the last. He didn’t feel like he deserved to be thanked before he knew she was safe.

He looked around other parts of the room and noticed four almost untouched plates of food. They were all some kind of meat stew.

“You should eat,” he told her. He realized they must have locked her into this room and that she wasn’t able to get her food by herself. She was still a prisoner.

“I know,” she answered with a sigh. It was almost shaky. Almost as if she was crying.

It wasn’t safe to speak aloud, so he reached into her mind. He was again met with a wall of tulips, but this time it was easier to get through. He didn’t know if she let him in voluntarily or if she was just too exhausted to keep up her shields.

“Why aren’t you eating?” he asked her softly, but she still flinched a little from the surprise of having him in her head.

“It’s stupid,” was her only answer and Rhys realized he had to gain her trust.

Other than the fact that she was Azriel’s wife, he knew basically nothing about the female in front of him.

He carefully sat down beside her, feeling the warmth from the fireplace. Usually starting such conversations would be easy for him, but he felt so lost and starting a comforting and hopeful conversation wasn’t something he managed to do.

“I miss him,” he told her. Even as they were younger and separated in the years after they became warriors, he had seen his brothers at least once a year. Now, it had been twenty and he felt like the changes of ever seeing them again became smaller and smaller.

“Me too.”

They sat quietly in front of the fireplace for hours. All the conversations they needed to have could wait.

I don't really know where I am going with this series. I have the start, one thing in the middle and then an end, so we'll see what happens...

Taglist:

Let me know if you want to be added!

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

[rizzmura]

under your skin . mlist

enemy!niki x fem!reader

warnings: angst, enemies to lovers, explicit content (mdni), emotional tension, hurt/comfort, swearing

total w.c.: unknown rn

synopsis: niki is everything you can’t stand—arrogant, obnoxious, and always right in your face. from the first day you met, he’s been your number one enemy. but as much as you hate him, there’s something about the way he looks at you that makes it hard to ignore the undeniable chemistry. after a series of frustrating interactions, a single moment changes everything. will you finally stop fighting what’s between you, or will your past as enemies keep you apart forever?

release: 14th feb 2025 (subject to change)

chapter 1: the first impression (feb 14) niki walks into your life like he owns the place. he’s cocky, self-assured, and somehow always knows how to push your buttons. what starts as harmless teasing soon escalates into a rivalry that neither of you can escape. but there’s a thin line between hate and something else you’re trying hard not to acknowledge.

chapter 2: keep your distance (feb 15) the tension between you and niki continues to grow as your encounters become more frequent. every argument feels like a new war, each one leaving you more frustrated and confused. but as much as you try to fight it, every moment spent near him tugs at something inside you that you’re not prepared to confront. you’re not supposed to be attracted to him, and yet, his presence alone makes your heart race. why does he have this effect on you? and why can’t he just stay out of your life?

chapter 3: kisses (feb 16) after an especially heated argument, emotions run high. before you know it, the insults turn into a kiss that neither of you were expecting. it’s raw and intense, and for a moment, all the anger fades into something deeper. but when it’s over, you both pull away, unsure what this means for the two of you.

chapter 4: what are we doing? (feb 17) things get complicated as you try to navigate this new dynamic. are you friends? enemies? something more? niki is all mixed signals, and you can't figure out if you’re supposed to love him or hate him. every step forward feels like two steps back, and your feelings grow more confusing by the day... but niki makes his decision by kissing... someone who wasnt you.

chapter 5: we can't stay away (feb 18) after pulling back for a while, you and niki can’t seem to stay apart. the tension is too much, and the desire to be close to him is overwhelming. this time, it’s not a fight—it's passion. but just as things start to make sense, old wounds and insecurities threaten to tear you apart again.

chapter 6: what we’ve become (feb 19) the walls come down, and you and niki finally admit what’s been there all along. you're no longer enemies, but building something new together isn't easy. can love really grow from hate, or was it always there beneath the surface? it's time to find out, once and for all.

EXTRA CHAPTER (feb 19)

taglist: open

a/n: hi!! this is going to be my first ff on here so i hope it'll please everyone... the wc and chapters may change <33

[cakesunflower]

lovelorn (and nobody knows) [rafe cameron au fic] chapter 23

Summary: Isla Carrera had planned for the summer before college to be focused on three things: helping out at her family’s restaurant (the helpful daughter), preparing for college (the good student), and having fun with the Pogues (the loyal friend). But one fateful night, where her car breaks down and her rescuer is none other than Rafe Cameron, seems to send her summer down a path she didn’t see coming–one teeming with a secret, illicit romance with the last person she expected. And if her friends and sister found out, Isla isn’t sure they’ll be so understanding, no matter what her feelings are.

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22

A/N: oh my good lord i am sooo sorry for how long it's taken for me to update this i've been down the pitt/mohabbot rabbit hole and im still there but i got out long enough to write this chapter oh boy oh boy im sorry

When Rafe feels someone come stand next to him at the bar, the last person he expects for it to be is John B.

Rafe leans against the bar on his elbow, waiting for one of the bartenders to get their drinks, when John B joins his side. But while Rafe’s pose remains at ease, he can just sense the tension in John B’s body as he leans forward with his arms crossed on the bar. Rafe arches an eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything, easily noticing the tic in John B’s jaw, his gaze ahead since he doesn’t look at Rafe just yet.

Things felt civil enough when he and Isla had arrived; he and John B hadn’t shook hands or anything, but it was still progress, in Rafe’s opinion. The fact of the matter is, Rafe doesn’t give a shit about the old Kook versus Pogue mentality that he had lived in for years, not when having that kind of thought process would mean he would lose Isla. She’s far more important to him than old rivalries, and he’s more than ready to move past them and make nice with her—and, in turn, his sister’s—friends if it meant the stress would fall off Isla.

So, instead of running his mouth and antagonizing the situation like his old self would, Rafe simply quietly, and patiently, waits for John B to speak first.

It doesn’t take him long.

“You get it, right, why it’s been hard for us to accept Isla and. . . You,” John B says, speaking haltingly like he was trying to find the right words as he drags his gaze to Rafe’s.

Briefly pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth, Rafe exhales sharply through his nose. “I get why you guys have a hard time looking past our shit history. I don’t get how it was easy for you to ice Isla out like that,” Rafe replies. He’s trying to be civil, he really is. But then he thinks of how heartbroken Isla has been, how many tears she has shed, and Rafe is filled with the primal, visceral urge to protect her from anything and anyone that could even potentially hurt her. And whatever his history with the Pogues, he hates that her own friends had been the ones to inflict that kind of pain on her. 

Though, it’s not surprising. It’s the people you love the most that have the greatest potential to hurt you.

John B’s jaw works and Rafe can tell he’s frustrated. “It wasn’t easy,” John B argues, and when Rafe’s expression remains unconvinced, John B lets out a huff. “It wasn’t,” he insists, his spine straightening. Rafe still has a few inches on him. On all of them, really. “I—Look, it’s not right how we reacted. I know that. But we all just felt. . . Blindsided by your relationship, alright? With everything in our past, none of us really understood why you of all people.”

If Rafe had thinner skin, he’d be more insulted by John B’s words. He won’t lie to himself—it does sting a bit that her friends took one look at his relationship with Isla and immediately wrote it off simply because of him. He gets it and, not for the first time, he regrets all of the shit that has gone down between him and Isla’s friends. The unnecessary fights, provocations, the put-downs. Sure, it was all mutual, each side dishing an equal amount, but it certainly doesn’t gain Rafe any brownie points with the Pogues.

“But—” John B continues, pulling Rafe out of his thoughts as he takes a look at the other guy. John B fiddles the sleeve of his suit jacket, his jaw working. “I miss Isla. We all do. We’re not us without her.”

Rafe shakes his head, releasing an almost disbelieving chuckle. “She’s right there, man,” he says, vaguely gesturing in the direction where she sits with Sarah. “She’s been waiting for you all to get over it, or at the very least, fucking talk to her instead of shutting her out.” He thanks the bartender who places their drinks in front of them, and Rafe pushes one of the glasses towards John B, who looks at the glass briefly before lifting his gaze to meet Rafe’s pointed one. “If you all miss her as much as you’re saying, then do something about it.” Rafe grabs two of the glasses, while John B also takes the one for Sarah. “And, for shit’s sake, get JJ to take back that stupid ultimatum. Get through to him, will you?”

It pisses him off just thinking about it and based on the radio silence Isla has been facing from JJ, Rafe has no doubt he was serious about giving Isla those choices. He has seen the way it weighs on Isla even if she tries to push it away with smiles that don’t quite reach her eyes always. Rafe knows all of her smiles, each of them beautiful in their own way, but it hurts to see the sadness in that specific smile—the one she forces because the pain of her strained relationship with her friends makes her hold back. 

“Yeah,” John B responds with a sigh, nodding when Rafe eyes him. “Yeah, I’ll talk to him. All of ’em.”

Rafe nods stiffly. While he’s glad that John B will finally get their group to get their heads out of their asses, he’s still a little annoyed that John B didn’t do it already—that it took a conversation with Rafe to kick his ass into gear. Maybe he just needed to see Rafe and Isla together to realize they aren’t fucking around, that their relationship has nothing to do with her friends, and make John B see the truth of it. Whatever. He wishes they just listened to Isla, took her word for it. 

He and John B return to the table and Rafe isn’t surprised that Isla and Sarah are eyeing them both curiously, a touch of worry in Isla’s green eyes. Rafe gives her a reassuring smile as they approach them, setting the glasses down on the table as he returns to his seat next to her. 

Isla’s hand finds his knee, leaning closer as she whispers, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he tells her truthfully with a smile. “All good, baby.” He takes her hand that’s on his knee and laces their fingers together, feeling her relax under his touch. Rafe presses a kiss to the back of her hand and is relieved to see the smile that curves at her lips, leaning into him more as Rafe mirrors her smile.

From behind her, he sees John B watching them. Rafe sees the smile on the other man’s face and he takes it as a sign that things between Isla and her friends will be looking up. 

Cocktail hour passes uneventfully, with Rafe and sometimes Sarah having to make the rounds as Ward’s kids—plus, there are plenty of people here Rafe works with, too. He doesn’t drag Isla around with him and often catches sight of her talking to John B, the two of them far more relaxed with one another as the night progresses. They all have dinner together once the welcoming and keynote speeches are done, and as the tables are being cleared away, John B excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

Sarah is pulled into a conversation with someone Rafe vaguely recognizes and Isla turns in her seat to face him. Rafe mirrors her position to face her as well, legs parted to make space for her, his arms resting on his thighs as his back hunches forward a bit, looking up at her. Not for the first time, he’s struck by how stunning she is, effortlessly so. The dress brings out her green eyes, fitting her perfectly, and his blood thrums with the desperate need to peel it off of her, run his fingers along every dip and curve of her body that he already knows intimately well.

“It’s going well, I’d say,” Isla quips with a smile dancing at the edge of her lips as she looks down at him, as she sits with perfect posture and he’s leaned down, weight on his arms resting on his thighs.

“What is?” he asks with a tilt of his head.

Her smile widens a bit, showing off dimples he’s brushed his fingers along countless times already. It’s a breath of fresh air, every time he sees her smile. Drives him crazy. “You and John B being in the same room,” she tells him quietly, like it’s a secret between the two of them. “I’m glad you two decided not to give me and Sarah heart burn.”

“Anythin’ for our ladies, I guess,” Rafe replies with a teasing grin, fingers idly running up and down the length of her calves, one of them exposed thanks to the delicious slit of her dress.

Isla huffs out a laugh, her jewelry glimmering under the lights. “What were you two talking about? At the bar?” she asks curiously, fingers idly playing with his tie.

“He told me how he missed you,” Rafe tells her truthfully, watching as Isla’s eyes widen slightly. It kills him, a little, at the idea that that’s so surprising to her. “They all miss you. And I told him there’s a very easy way to fix this, and that he should just talk to the rest of your friends because everything about this is stupid.”

Her lips tremble with the effort of suppressing her laugh, shaking her head as her gaze softens, fond and warm. “I appreciate it,” she says and the way her eyes shine, Rafe knows she means it. 

Rafe smiles, giving into the urge to kiss her as he leans towards her, only to be interrupted by Sarah coming to stand next to their chairs. “Hey, sorry,” Sarah says, getting both of their attention as they look up at her. Sarah shoots Rafe a concerned look, and it has his back straightening. “I—John B went to the bathroom a while ago and hasn’t come back. Can you go check?”

Rafe blinks. “You want me to check in on your boyfriend. . . In the bathroom?” he asks slowly, face scrunching up.

Sarah bounces from one leg to another. “I saw Topper head in that direction and I—just—can you please?” 

Rafe runs his tongue along his teeth, suddenly understanding Sarah’s apprehension. He wouldn’t put it past Topper to corner John B in the bathroom and, frankly, Rafe is pretty sure John B can hold his own. But then he sees Sarah’s, and now Isla’s, worried expressions, and he’s on his feet without much thought. “I’ll check,” he tells them, earning grateful smiles from them both before he turns to walk out of the hall.

He smooths down his tie as he strides out of the room, leaving the party behind as he heads towards the bathrooms. Rafe’s jaw works at the idea of what he might be walking into, though he has a pretty good idea if Topper did, in fact, go to the bathrooms to confront John B, what Rafe is about to see. Topper, it seems, doesn’t know when to quit, and while Rafe didn’t bat an eye when they were friends, it pisses him off now.

Especially when he opens the door to the men's room and sees, unsurprisingly, Topper getting up in John B’s face.

Rafe’s voice is casual as he says, “Any closer and you’ll be kissin’ him, Top.” John B’s gaze meets his around Topper as the bathroom door swings shut behind Rafe. “What the hell are you doing?”

Topper doesn’t turn to look at him. “Nothing we haven’t done before, man,” he answers, his gaze no doubt fixed on John B. It’d be a bet Rafe wins, he knows, as he stares at the back of Topper’s blond head. “What, you here to defend your new friend?” he asks with a sneer that has Rafe rolling his eyes.

Rafe tilts his head slightly. There’s no one else in the bathroom, as far as he can tell. “No. I’m here to make sure you don’t get your ass kicked which, honestly, I don’t really give much of a shit about. But if I were you, I’d back up.”

He notes the tension lining Topper’s shoulders under his suit jacket before he takes a step away from John B and turns to face Rafe. “What, are you two besties now? You’re gonna defend him?” Topper tilts his head. “Weren’t you the one who said he wasn’t good enough for your sister or your family?”

Rafe doesn’t wince or flinch at the words he had spoken in the past being thrown back in his face. Frankly, he has said worse things to John B’s face. Behind Topper, John B doesn’t look upset, either. Whatever Topper’s goal was, he misses it as Rafe levels a flat stare at him. “Yeah, and I also said I’d prefer Sarah dating you over him.” Rafe shrugs, the picture of nonchalance. “Clearly, I said a lot of shit I was wrong about.”

That, he notices, takes John B by surprise a bit, his eyebrows rising behind Topper. But Rafe is being honest—now that he knows how much Sarah loves John B, and how much that love is returned, he regrets ever questioning their relationship. Now that he has Isla in his life and has gotten a taste of the kind of happiness that comes from being with someone you know, deep in your bones, you are meant to be with, Rafe would never want that to be taken away from his sister.

He thinks he might go crazy if it was taken away from him.

“Unbelievable,” Topper laughs as he gapes at Rafe, bewildered and mocking as he walks over to him. “You’ve become one of them now, is that it? You fuck a Pogue long enough and you turn into one?” His smile is more of a sneer. “Just like your sister, huh?”

Ice freezes over Rafe’s blood as his temper simmers, a protective sort of rage seeping through him. His voice stays eerily steady as he says, “Better watch your mouth, Top. I don’t think John B or I take it too well when people talk about our girls like that.”

He sees how that triggers, so to speak, Topper. The idea of Rafe accepting John B as Sarah’s boyfriend, even though they’ve been together for a year, pisses Topper off, clearly. His jaw clenches, eyes narrowing with fists curling at his sides. And maybe the guy is stupider than Rafe could see before, because he steps up to Rafe, obviously trying to be intimidating and falling short. Rafe would laugh, if it weren’t for Topper musing, “Maybe I should get myself a Pogue.” He flicks the front of Rafe’s tie, widening his eyes in feigned wonder. “Hey, you think Isla would be interested in taking turns? Maybe I can see what the hype’s about, since Sarah’s been pretty used throu—”

It was Topper’s own fault, really, for thinking he’d be able to finish that sentence without taking a hit.

The adrenaline numbs Rafe to the pain in his knuckles right after it collides with Topper’s jaw. The blond stumbles back and John B locks his arms around him, pinning Topper’s own arms to the side as he struggles and thrashes against John B’s grip, but it’s tight and unrelenting. John B’s expression is hard, lips curled in a sneer as he prevents Topper from swinging back at Rafe. 

Topper’s lip is bleeding, his teeth having cut it upon Rafe’s fist’s impact, and Rafe steps towards him, flexing his fingers and feeling the tension and sting as he grips the lapels of Topper’s suit jacket. He sees the anger in Topper’s blue eyes, the curl of his bleeding lip as he’s forced to still in his struggle. Rafe easily towers over him and a primal sort of satisfaction rushes through him at the flicker of fear in Topper’s eyes, rearing back as far as he can, but John B is right there, not giving him much room to cower.

Rafe’s voice is dangerously low, the intent to put Topper’s head through a wall loudly clear in his tone. “Let’s get one thing clear, Thornton—I’m sick of you actin’ as if you’re owed something by everyone. You walk around picking fights with people you think have fucked you over, but you’re only embarrassing yourself.” Rafe’s grip on Topper’s jacket tightens, his blood boiling and pulse rapidly firing. “If you ever think about Isla and Sarah again, I’m going to ruin your fucking life. You won’t be able to show your face in the entire state if you keep this bullshit up. Not even your judge grandpa will be able to save you. You fucking get me?”

Indignation swims in Topper’s eyes, staring at Rafe as if he’s never seen him before. “You’re throwing away seventeen years of friendship for—”

“Yeah,” Rafe says tightly, not bothering to let Topper finish. “I am.”

He lets go of him then, his gaze meeting John B’s behind Topper, who waits a beat before he lets Topper go. Topper shoves away, straightening himself and his suit jacket out, his gaze never straying from Rafe. A trickle of blood leaks from the corner of Topper’s mouth, his perfectly styled hair in slight disarray, which makes Rafe feel more satisfied than it should. 

He stares at Topper, though, and Rafe can feel their near two decade long friendship crumbling between them. Topper’s been his longest, oldest friend; they’ve known each other since pre-school, have made countless memories together, raised plenty of hell. Rafe knows that things have been shifting between them as he was becoming more familiar with his feelings for Isla, as the two of them started going out. The whole Kooks versus Pogues mentality seems so far away to him now, and he wishes that the same could be said for Topper.

But it’s abundantly clear that while Rafe has started a new chapter in his life, Topper has fallen far behind.

And it hurts, if he’s being honest, to see their friendship implode. But Rafe also isn’t going to let Topper get away with the shit he spews about his girlfriend and sister. The friendship, despite its longevity, isn’t worth that.

Topper pulls out his handkerchief from the pocket of his jacket, glaring at Rafe as he wipes at the blood on his face. “You’ve lost your damn mind,” he mutters with a shake of his head,  moving to walk past him. He throws him and John B another dirty look, sharper towards John B and—more hurt towards Rafe, who swallows down the tightness in his throat. “Fuck this.”

He storms out, the door falling shut behind him, and the bathroom is left in a tense silence. Rafe runs his tongue along his teeth, fingers once again flexing at his side as he looks down at them, taking in the harsh redness already forming where the skin broke a bit. Slowly, the tension seeps out of his muscles—very slowly, and the silence of the bathroom is broken when John B speaks up.

“Didn’t see that coming,” he says idly, straightening the front of his shirt and suit jacket as well. 

Rafe exhales roughly through his nose. “It was a long time coming,” he corrects with a mutter as he looks at him. He looks fine, but Rafe still asks, “You good, man?”

There’s a flicker of surprise in John B’s dark eyes before it disappears and he nods. “Yeah, I’m alright.” His gaze dips to Rafe’s hand. “What about you? Might need to ice that hand.”

“I’ll live,” Rafe says with a short chuckle before he lifts his chin. The air shifts, not as tense, but he still looks John B in the eye and asks meaningfully, “We good?”

John B stares at him for a beat before he lets out a breath as well, the corners of his lips tipping up in an accepting smile. “Yeah, man, we’re good.”

Rafe nods, feeling more relieved than he anticipated, and he and John B leave the bathroom to head back to the party. He doesn’t look to see where Topper scurried off to as he and John B head back to the table. Rafe’s knuckles aren’t bleeding, but they are a bit raw, and he doesn’t have a hope in hiding it because the second they near the table where Isla and Sarah are sitting, his girlfriend immediately clocks the injury.

“What happened?” she asks, alarmed but hushed as she gets to her feet, her hands immediately grasping his—gingerly, her fingers holding his as she looks at the raw knuckles with concern creasing her forehead. 

Even Sarah stands up, coming over to them with her eyebrows furrowing together. “It’s not a big deal,” Rafe assures them and despite the tension from earlier, he feels a smile ease onto his face as he gets crowded by his girlfriend and sister.

Sarah shakes her head. “You punched Topper?” she asks, disbelief coloring her tone. And a hint of laughter, if he listens for it.

Isla looks up at him, eyes slightly wide in surprise. He shoots her a flat look that has the corners of her mouth curving up. Before either of them can say anything, a hand appears holding a bag of ice, wrapped in one of the white cloth napkins. All three of their heads follow the hand that leads to John B, who raises his eyebrows at a surprised looking Rafe.

“It’ll help with the swelling,” he says, gaze unwavering, and when Rafe takes it with his uninjured hand, it feels like accepting an olive branch.

“Thanks,” Rafe says genuinely with a dip of his chin, which John B returns, as Rafe places it on his knuckles. His gaze flickers, then, and he catches Isla and Sarah looking between the two of them as if they both grew a second head. When he looks back at John B, the brunette is clearly fighting back a smile, and Rafe finds himself huffing out a laugh as he looks back at a bewildered Isla and Sarah. “You two are gonna dry your eyes out if you don’t blink soon.”

“What is going on.” Sarah asks, though it comes out more as a statement, a demand. 

John B drops an arm around Sarah’s shoulders, grinning. “We kissed and made up,” he says with a casual shrug.

It has Rafe snorting out a laugh, surprisingly enough, even as he sucks in a quiet breath when he adjusts the ice on his knuckles. Isla grimaces, still holding his hand from the bottom, as Sarah shakes her head, blinking at Rafe and John B. “I’m so confused.”

Isla cracks a smile in her direction. “Don’t question it.” She looks back at Rafe, her voice quieting, just for him as she looks up at him through long eyelashes and asks, “Are you okay?”

Rafe meets her gaze, the world around them slipping away as he sees the way she searches his eyes. He knows, right then, she doesn’t mean just physically. That she knows what it’s like to be on opposite sides of a friendship, and that something fundamentally has broken between him and Topper. But right now, Rafe can’t make sense of it all.

So he gives her a gentle smile and responds, “Ask me again later?” and, to his relief, she nods after a beat of hesitation. 

“Uh, should we leave before Dad finds out you punched someone at this party?” Sarah pipes up, brown eyes darting around the room.

Rafe’s jaw tightens. “If Dad knew what Topper was saying, he wouldn’t be upset.” He blows out a breath through his nose. “But I’m ready to head out,” he adds, glancing at Isla in question, who nods in agreement.

John B smiles. “I know a place we can go.”

*****

If anyone had told Rafe, months ago, that he would be having a beer in John B’s backyard—in the backyard of the Chateau—Rafe would’ve laughed in your face. Maybe said something rude and condescending for even suggesting such a thing.

Yet here he sits, in one of the hammocks even, with a cold beer in his hand and legs spread so Isla could slot hers in the space in between. Through the leaves of the trees around them, Rafe sees the clear dark sky, stars winking in and out of existence as the hammock gently sways under their weight. John B and Sarah are in the next one, their positions mirroring his and Isla’s, and it all feels a little surreal to Rafe.

Inside the Chateau, a few of the lights are on where Big John hangs out. Rafe hadn’t missed the surprise in his eyes from behind his wiry sunglasses when he realized Rafe was accompanying the group of them, but the man had greeted and welcomed him with the same kind of friendliness he always did whenever Rafe happened to see him. Which is a little more than often, given that Big John and Rafe’s dad are friends.

“I’m thinking another boneyard party,” John B muses thoughtfully, his head resting back as he, too, gazes up.

Sarah snorts. “Yeah, because the last one definitely wasn’t broken up by the cops.”

But Isla hums with a smile. “But the last one did have a hand in us getting together,” she says, meeting his gaze.

Rafe grins, remembering that night well. John B looks between them. “Wait, really?”

Isla nods, chuckling. “Remember I said some touron gave me a ride home after we all split up when the cops came?” John B nods and Isla jerks her chin at Rafe. “My knight on a shining motorcycle.”

Sarah feigns a sniff, one hand to her chest and the other wiping a fake tear. “He does have a heart.”

“You’re so funny,” Rafe says sarcastically with a roll of his eyes, but Sarah’s responding laughter has him shaking his head with a small smile of his own. His eyes land on Isla opposite of him and she’s watching him with that gentle smile, one that hints at her dimples, and Rafe’s chest tightens at the sight of her.

Still in her dress, though this time his suit jacket is draped over her shoulders to shield her from the night chill. “It was very sweet,” Isla tells Sarah and John B with a smile before her gaze flicks back to Rafe. She’s looking at him as she tells the couple in the next hammock, “He didn’t have to save my ass, but I’m glad he did.” Rafe’s pulse thumps happily as she nudges her painted toes against his hip where her legs are stretched out next to him. “Who knows if we’d be here if he hadn’t?”

Rafe watches her, unable to see anything or anyone else. “I would’ve found a way,” he replies, the words wrapped in a vow.

Isla’s smile widens, dimple deepening. He loves the sight of them. To his right, he hears John B groan. “Ugh, you were right. They are cute together.”

Both Rafe and Isla look over at them, catching Sarah’s grin and John B’s head shake, though he seems to be hiding his own smile in his next sip of beer. Hearing John B say that clearly delights Isla, green eyes shining in the dark, and Rafe finds himself appreciative of John B’s words, too.

Sarah just grins smugly, triumphantly. “I love being right.”

-

taglist: @jenniesbuttercup-blog @combatbabys-world @talkfastromance4 @you-got-me-starry-eyed @invisiblexcth @freshsturniolo346 @theafournier97 @danismyth04 @fl0werlver @perfectprettypisces @pameluuu @melsbels-zip @gabrielaperez11 @katieeeeb @cenzie811148

[yasministration]

majestic march m.list

✯ mar 1 ✯ never ending song - sirius black

rockstar!reader - when your parents divorce, you decide to move to london to finish your last year of school, and take your music career there with you. what happens when you meet another pureblood rebel named sirius black

✯ mar 3 ✯ that look on your face - draco malfoy

draco malfoy's usually neutral face has a tendency to make people think he hates them, but his face always fails to betray his adoration over you.

✯ mar 5 ✯ what boyfriend? - harry potter -> 3k celebration

when you are bed ridden due to your period, Madame Pomfrey comes to check in on you and play match-maker.

✯ mar 7 ✯ the princess and her knight - sirius black

when your boyfriend dumps you, sirius does everything in his power to get you to smile again. and maybe make you understand how much he likes you

✯ mar 9 ✯ when the war is over - poly!marauders -> 3k celebration

with the war escalating, everyone is rethinking their values, and it seems like yours don't match with one of the people closest to your heart.

✯ mar 11 ✯ Phantom of the Opera: Prologue - "Angel of music" - Remus Lupin

You had always been grateful that your parents put all their money into making you the best at something you loved - musical theatre. The opening night of your new show is opening doors for you beyond your career.

✯ mar 13 ✯ perfect pureblooded daughter - malfoy!reader

being a metamorphmagus isn't easy, especially when your parents want you to be a perfect, pureblooded daughter, stoic and emotionless.

✯ mar 15 ✯ summer lovin' - harry potter

you decide to visit harry over the summer, playing the classic 'girl next door' so harry's uncle lets you in.

✯ mar 16 ✯ off limits pt.3 - remus lupin

when sirius sees you kissing his best friend, he decides to have his first real conversation with you in two years, and you finally reveal what life has been like for you and regulus after he left.

✯ mar 17 ✯ mind blowing kisser - platonic marauders

your friend group finds out something shocking about you, Hogwarts's biggest heartthrob

✯ mar 19 ✯ only woman - james potter -> 3k celebration

the first time you and james have a friendly conversation after your breakup leads to something more...

✯ mar 20 ✯ shared kisses, stolen cigarettes - peter pettigrew -> request

you and peter share a cigarette by the open window in the common room.

✯ mar 21 ✯ Phantom of the Opera: Chapter 1 - "Think of me fondly" - Remus Lupin

Sirius has to bring moral support with to come watch your debut as Christine in the Phantom of the Opera. Despite the judgemental pureblooded families around the pair, they are both serenaded by your enchanting singing.

✯ mar 22 ✯ "malfoy" "weasley" - bill weasley

when you watch the quidditch world cup with your family, the last thing you're expecting is to see an old friend. a weasley.

✯ mar 23 ✯ before you go - fred weasley

after years of chasing after you, fred weasley finally convinces you to go on a date with him, and he makes sure to prove all the times you've rejected him wrong

✯ mar 24 ✯ grim greenhouses - neville longbottom

when you defend neville against your cousin, he is convinced he has to give you a little gift as a thank you. but what happens when you decide to thank him for his gift?

✯ mar 25 ✯ after curfew - harry potter

you and harry seem to forget his godfather is doing rounds when you sneak out after curfew

✯ mar 26 ✯ Mrs. Malfoy Riddle - mattheo riddle

mattheo doesn't care that you're betrothed to his best friend, especially not when you're so in love. so he guarantees one last night before you're officially his.

✯ mar 27 ✯ a job for a godparent - harry potter

harry knows you're the love of his life, but he just needs to know that you want kids as much as he does. a day at his house over the summer confirms it.

✯ mar 28 ✯ buy you a drink - ron weasley -> request

when ron unexpectedly meets the girl of his dreams through a one night stand, he rushes to tell his friends the next day. but unfortunately, that reveals some new information about you, the apparent love of his life.

✯ mar 29 ✯ Phantom of the Opera: Chapter 2 - "The Point of No Return" - Remus Lupin

When Sirius and Remus find you at the celebratory party your parents organised for you, they discover the unfortunate truth of the ultimatum your parents gave you. Luckily for you though, Sirius is quick to think on his feet.

✯ mar 30 ✯ twelve hours - james potter

sometimes having observant friends is unfortunate, but now when they've been blind for so long...

[pruneunfair]

If I were these villainesses lawyers and if I could convince court they are innocent. (The court in this case is the manhwa community so the guilty/innocent factor will be based on if I can convince the community they did nothing wrong)

Yvonne.

I mean this one would be easy. She was body-napped by a Leila follower so all the crimes would be charged on the follower not Yvonne, and shes been trapped in a mirror anyway so the poor girl has been going through enough. She's got a solid case to prove her innocence.

Rashta

Honestly with how much the fandom is growing to love her she's not as screwed as one might think. If anything she could have rights to sue the Rimwells for years of unpaid labor and wrongfully taking away her child. Still, murder and mutilation are crimes worthy of hating her, not to mention those who think stealing someone's man is somehow worse then that. The best I could give Rashta is probably 5 years with a chance of parole

Rhyse

I feel like we would first have a guaranteed innocent verdict but then someone would reveal evidence that she's the author and we'd be done for 😭 because that's essentially what happened to me when I read the newest chapters of NYTRS. Rhyse is probably gonna get sentenced to 30 years with no parole.

Isabella

I'm gonna look her right in the eyes as I say "you are screwed." Because I don't know how I'm going to convince the community that a pure evil villainess who killed her sisters, one of which was a child, that she is a good person deep down. I can't even say she's a good villain cause that sure as hell isn't true. Sorry Isabella but your gonna get life with no parole.

Diane

I think I could get her out.. maybe worst case scenario she gets 1-3 years since someone will probably point out she kidnapped and beat a maid for supposedly trying to seduce the Emperor. But she did kill said Emperor and redeemed herself plus she kinda drank poison and gave herself a death penalty already so I think she's already dealt her punishment.

Marianne

Normally if we were going by actual morality Marianne would get the lethal injection, but since we are going by fandom laws which are all based on "love" for a character Marianne is probably gonna just get 10 years since she's so well beloved as a villain and character and then the public is gonna get pissed that she got it easy for her long list of charges.

Soleia

Soleia is gonna be the reason the Salem witch trials come back in modern day BUT she has actual black magic so she'd probably never even show up to court but if she did best case scenario she can leave on bail since what she did was for revenge and the people she hurt were willing to drop the charges if she agreed to not relapse, the fandom likes her more then Yerenica so she's almost guaranteed an innocent verdict by fandom law.

Freya

I could probably defend her for wanting to be with Izek so badly since she was trying to escape her toxic family but unfortunately 2/3 community despise her existence and would call for life in prison. If I reallly put in the effort Freya would get 10-15 years with a chance of parole.

Sumin

I already know I'm gonna be stressing as her lawyer. She murdered her mother in-law and even before that she did that she was still mean to the FL and thats a cardinal sin in the manhwa world to be mean to the FL. She's got a backstory sure but it's extremely contrived and dumb and even if it wasn't she still had a multitude of other friends and help from others so there's really no excuse. I might love her craziness but I don't think I'm gonna talk her out of life in prison with no parole.

Cosette

Another easy innocent. She is possessed by a demon who used her body to break havoc on the world so Cosette herself is in the clear and ready to go, and if we go by the novel, Cosette is dead.. gonna be real hard to charge a dead girl for Ragibachs crimes.

Mielle

Definitely gonna fail her and at best she's gonna get 35 years for arranging Aria to be executed for basically no good reason, pushing her father down the stairs and in general being a horrible person with a superiority complex, not like she's even gonna see the light again after 35 years cause we all know Aria isn't gonna let that slide.

Dodolea

I'm not even gonna try. I'm just gonna take the money and let herself get the electric chair cause even though I like white lotuses. Dodolea is the rare case where I actually hate a character and my only good thoughts about her is that she's a fantastic villainess.

[luvashli]

ESCAPISM PART 3

SYNOPSIS -> You left to find yourself—now they’re the ones chasing. Changed and desperate, Heeseung and Ni-ki want you back, but this time, you make the rules.

PAIRING -> non!idol!ni-ki x fem!reader x non!idol!heeseung

GENRE -> oneshot, smut, romance, drama, love triangle, mature

WARNING -> SMUT (p in v), threesome, unprotected sex, spit, dom!reader, sub!ni-ki, sub!heeseung, powerplay, oral (f), oral (m)… MDNI!!

STARTED -> 2/15/2025

STATUS -> completed

WC -> 11.5k

Note: Not only is this the longest chapter/ story i have ever written but it’s also the very first full smut I’ve ever written, let me know what you think… :)

click here for part 1 & part 2

Masterlist

Change isn’t easy.

Heeseung learns this the hard way, sitting in the sterile office of his therapist, hands clenched into fists on his lap. The clock on the wall ticks endlessly, the air heavy with words he doesn’t know how to say.

“How have you been sleeping?” Dr. Jeon asks, voice gentle, as if she already knows the answer.

Heeseung huffs a humorless laugh, leaning back into the leather couch. “Does it count as sleeping if you wake up every hour?”

Dr. Jeon doesn’t react, simply jotting something down in her notebook. Heeseung wonders what she writes about him. Insomniac. Self-sabotaging. Emotionally stunted.

He already knows all that.

He runs a hand down his face, sighing. “It’s been… quiet,” he admits.

She hums. “Quiet, or lonely?”

His throat tightens.

Lonely. So lonely.

Heeseung doesn’t say it, but she sees through him anyway. He hates how easy he is to read here, in this room, under her knowing gaze. It’s nothing like before, when he could brush things off, pretend he wasn’t falling apart.

Before, there was Y/N.

Before, he had her warmth beside him at night. The sound of her voice filling his apartment, the way she’d roll her eyes at his bad jokes but still laugh anyway.

Before, he was so sure she’d never leave.

And now?

Now, he sits alone in his too-big bed, staring at his ceiling, wondering if she’s sleeping better than him. If she ever thinks about him at all. If she knows how hard he’s trying to be better.

Dr. Jeon‘s voice breaks through his thoughts. “Tell me about her.”

Heeseung swallows.

Where does he even begin?

“She was…” He hesitates, staring at the floor. “She was everything.”

The words taste like regret.

Dr. Jeon waits, watching him closely. Heeseung shifts under her gaze, fingers twitching. “I don’t think I realized how much she meant to me until she was gone.”

Dr. Jeon tilts her head. “And now?”

Now, she’s still everything.

Now, he’s trying to fix himself, but it might be too late.

Now, he can’t stop picturing the way she looked at him the last time they spoke—like he was a stranger.

“I just…” His voice cracks. He rubs at his face. “I don’t want to be the man I was before.”

It’s the closest he’ll ever get to saying I want to be the man she deserves.

Dr. Jeon offers a small nod. “That’s a good place to start.”

But even as Heeseung leaves the session, stepping into the cold evening air, he knows the truth.

But what does it matter if Y/N isn’t here to see it?

No amount of therapy will bring Y/N back if she doesn’t want him anymore.

She’s everywhere and nowhere all at once. In the faint memory of her laugh, in the spaces between his fingers where hers used to fit, in the ache in his chest whenever he reaches for his phone and stops himself from dialing her number.

He wants to tell her.

Wants to prove he’s changed.

Wants to beg for another chance.

But Y/N doesn’t owe him anything.

So he suffers in silence.

---

Ni-ki hates the silence.

Before, his nights were loud—filled with music, laughter, the sound of strangers whispering his name. Distractions. Easy. Thoughtless.

Now?

Now, the quiet is suffocating.

He stares at his phone, scrolling past old messages, old habits, old mistakes. His contact list is filled with names of people he barely remembers—numbers he could dial if he wanted company, if he wanted a warm body beside him.

But he doesn’t. Not anymore.

The hookups stopped after Y/N.

No more hookups, no more meaningless distractions. Just empty nights and a realization that nothing feels right anymore.

Not because she asked him to, not because there was ever a promise between them. But because after her, everything else felt pointless.

At first, he told himself he was fine. That Y/N was just another girl, that what they had was just fun. But then he’d see her in his mind—really see her—laughing, teasing, her lips swollen from his kisses, her body pressed against his.

And suddenly, it wasn’t fun anymore.

She wasn’t just another girl.

And now, it’s too late.

She wasn’t like the others.

She was a slow burn, a fire that built up over time, turning his skin feverish and his mind reckless. She made him feel.

And now, she’s gone.

Ni-ki grips his phone tighter, fighting the urge to text her. He won’t. He can’t. She made her choice, and he has to live with it.

Instead, he shoves his hands into his pockets and walks. Nowhere in particular, just away. From his empty apartment, from the ache in his chest, from the memories he can’t erase.

Maybe if he keeps walking, he’ll stop feeling like a ghost of himself.

Maybe one day, the silence won’t hurt so much.

---

The next few weeks of your life felt like a quiet but powerful rebirth. You woke up every morning with the sunrise, the soft glow of sunlight seeping through the curtains of your newly decorated apartment. It was small, yet cozy, and every item in it was carefully chosen, each piece a reminder of your growth, your independence. Your fingers ran over the warm mug of coffee in your hands, and you smiled softly to yourself as you sipped it, watching the world outside your window.

Your routine had become second nature to you now. You went to the gym every morning, pushing herself harder than ever, feeling the strength of your own body grow with every rep. Your mind, too, was growing. You had learned to embrace the quiet, the solitude, the feeling of your own company without the noise of your past relationships clouding your thoughts. You felt good. And, for the first time in a long time, you felt truly free.

As much as you had learned to embrace your independence, there was still a small part of you that couldn’t quite shake the ache left by Heeseung and Ni-ki. You had moved on, sure, but you couldn’t deny the fact that they were still in the back of your mind, lingering in the corners of your thoughts like an unfinished chapter. But you refused to let that stop you. You were thriving, you she knew that even though they might always be a part of you, they would never define you again.

Today, as you walked through the door of your favorite café, you felt the warmth of familiarity wrap around you like a comfort blanket. You greeted the barista with a smile before sitting at your usual spot by the window. The place was bustling with the hum of quiet chatter, the clinking of coffee cups, and the soft background music. You pulled out your laptop, opening it to get some work done. It was the kind of life you had always wanted – peaceful, centered, and full of small moments that felt meaningful.

You didn’t let yourself linger too long on thoughts of the past. Your focus was on the present. You had a new project in the works, one you were excited about, something that would push your creative boundaries. The glow of productivity filled you, and you quickly immersed yourself in the work. Time flew by without noticing, and soon the afternoon sun was dipping low in the sky.

As the evening approached, you received a text from one of your friends. They had been planning a party at a trendy downtown club for the past few days, and it was finally happening tonight.

“Tonight’s the night, Y/N! Come out and celebrate with us!” the message read. “You need a night out!”

You hesitated for a moment. You hadn’t been out in a while, not like this. But something about the invitation felt right. You deserved a night of fun, of letting loose. The truth was, you was excited. It had been too long since you had felt the heat of a crowded dance floor, the rush of music pulsing through your veins. The last few months had been full of healing and self-reflection, but now, it was time to feel something different—something wild.

So you quickly texted back, “I’m in.”

---

Standing in front of your closet, a deep sigh escaping your lips as you examined the options. The room around was filled with the quiet hum of anticipation. It had been a while since you’d put this much thought into what to wear, but tonight felt different. Tonight wasn’t just another party—it was a step forward, a declaration of how far you’d come.

Your fingers traced over the fabric of a tight black dress, one that accentuated every curve, its simple elegance radiating confidence. Almost feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on you already—on your body, on your energy. You smirked at the reflection. The girl staring back at you wasn’t the same as the one from months ago. This version of yourself was fierce. Self-assured. Powerful. And tonight, she was going to own the room.

The sound of a phone vibrating on the nightstand interrupted your thoughts. After picking it up, another friend’s name lighting up the screen.

“Y/N! You coming to the party tonight or what?” the message read.

You smiled, tapping your fingers across the screen replying, “Yeah, I’m in.”

Still not entirely sure what awaited you at the party. But one thing was for sure—this time, you were in control.

Turning back to finish getting ready, you thought of the two people who would also be at the party, though you had no idea how close they were to each other now. But there was something about tonight, something about being free from the past, that made you curious.

But tonight wasn’t about them, not yet. Tonight was about you reclaiming your own space, enjoying yourself without apologies.

After applying the final touches of makeup, a bold lipstick that matched your mood, and smirking at your reflection one last time, you left your apartment.

Tonight would be yours.

---

The music blasted through the speakers as you stepped into the club, your heels clicking against the marble floor with every confident stride you took. The strobe lights flickered overhead, casting brief, electric shadows that seemed to make the entire room pause for a split second. Your presence was undeniable. Every eye in the club was drawn to you as though the very air shifted when you entered.

You were wearing a tight, black dress that clung to your body in all the right ways. It hugged your waist and flared slightly at the hips, the fabric smooth against your skin, barely concealing the curves of your body. The neckline of the dress dipped low, teasing without revealing too much, just enough to catch the eye. The fabric shimmered under the club lights, drawing attention to your toned figure—your legs, long and smooth, the curve of your hips, the softness of your waist, the way your body seemed to sway with an effortless sensuality as you walked.

Your hair cascaded down in soft waves, the deep, rich color contrasting against your glowing skin. Your eyes, framed with a subtle but striking makeup, scanned the room with the confidence of someone who knew exactly what effect they had. Your lips, painted a bold shade of red, were just daring enough to leave others wondering if they were meant to be kissed.

You weren’t just walking into the club; you were owning it. You moved through the crowd like you were meant to be the center of attention, every man and woman turning their heads as you passed. The whispers and glances followed you, some too obvious to ignore, others hidden behind the shadows of the dance floor.

At the bar, Heeseung and Ni-ki stood side by side, both men caught in the same unexpected moment. They had no idea how to react. It had been months since they’d last seen you, and the sight of you now—this stunning version of yourself, so much more powerful and confident than before—stopped them in their tracks.

Heeseung’s gaze flickered first, his lips parting slightly as his breath caught. He knew he shouldn’t be staring—shouldn’t be thinking the thoughts that were now running wild in his mind. But he couldn’t help it. The woman in front of him wasn’t the girl who had once been caught up in the whirlwind of their toxic relationship. This version of you was something else entirely. You weren’t just beautiful—you were untouchable, exuding a kind of raw, magnetic energy that made his chest tighten. His fingers itched to reach out, to pull you into his arms, but he held himself back. Out of respect. He knew better than to make a move now.

Ni-ki, standing just a few feet away, was in a similar state of disbelief. His thoughts ran wild as he watched you walk across the club, your body moving in a way that left his mouth dry. Damn. The memory of your one-night-stand was still fresh in his mind, but seeing you now, so confident, so poised, made his chest tighten in a different way. You were everything. His eyes followed every inch of you as you made your way to the dance floor, the sway of your hips sending jolts of desire through his body. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way—especially with Heeseung so close—but he couldn’t stop himself.

The men exchanged a glance, the unspoken tension between them thick enough to cut through the air. Neither of them said anything, but both knew—tonight wasn’t going to be easy.

You, for your part, weren’t oblivious to the heat of their gazes. You felt the weight of their attention, but it only added to your sense of power. You were the one in control now, and it felt damn good.

You turned your head slightly, your eyes locking with Heeseung’s for just a moment, then flicking to Ni-ki. The subtle shift in your gaze made both men stiffen, a pang of recognition hitting them hard in their chests. Neither one moved closer, though; they both understood the unspoken rule of the night—they would respect your space. But that didn’t stop the fire in their veins, the growing hunger that neither could quench.

You continued your stride, your hips swaying hypnotically, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips as you made your way deeper into the club. The scene was set—you were here, in control, and they were just two players in the game.

---

You were lost in the music, your body swaying to the beat, when a man approached you. His presence was immediate, confident, and his smile was charming. His eyes scanned you from head to toe with a look that could only be described as appreciative, as if he had found exactly what he was looking for.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low and smooth, “I’ve been watching you all night, and I have to say, you’ve got some serious energy. How about we dance?”

You paused for a moment, taking in his appearance—a tall, broad-shouldered man with a well-tailored shirt that hugged his frame. He looked good, no doubt. For a brief second, you considered the offer, but the beat of the music pulled you back into the moment. Why not? you thought. You could have some fun.

Without hesitation, you flashed him a smile. “Sure,” you said, your tone playful.

He grinned, stepping closer, guiding you onto the dance floor as the music pulsed through the club. The man’s hands settled on your waist, and you could feel the heat from his body as you moved together. His rhythm was decent, but nothing you hadn’t seen before. You danced with confidence, your body moving freely, but there was a part of you that remained detached.

You glanced back at Heeseung and Ni-ki, catching both of their gazes once more. The jealousy in their eyes was unmistakable, but it was different now. There was no possessiveness, no anger—only a quiet understanding, a reluctance to claim what wasn’t theirs to hold. They weren’t rushing over to make their move. They weren’t jumping to dictate what you could or couldn’t do.

That was new. The realization hit you like a slow wave. Both of them had changed. Not just in the way they looked at you, but in the way they seemed to respect your space. It was as if, for the first time, they understood that you weren’t someone to be fought over, but someone to be valued. Someone to be given the freedom to make your own decisions. And even though you felt their presence, you could breathe easier knowing they weren’t going to push you.

You swallowed, a small, appreciative smile crossing your lips. You didn’t need anyone’s validation. You were the one in control now, but the shift in the men—the way they had grown—didn’t go unnoticed. It made you think. Maybe there was hope for them, but only if you were ready to make the call. Only if they kept proving that they weren’t the same boys who had hurt you before.

As the minutes passed, the attraction you had briefly felt started to fade. His touch, while not unwelcome, didn’t stir anything deep within you. The music was still loud, and you could feel the energy around you, but all you could focus on was how much you felt the weight of Heeseung and Ni-ki’s gazes from across the room.

You glanced over your shoulder, locking eyes with Ni-ki first. His expression was unreadable, his gaze steady, but something in his eyes flickered—a brief hint of something you couldn’t quite place. Then your eyes found Heeseung. He stood with his arms crossed, his jaw clenched, watching you with an intensity that made your stomach flip. His eyes weren’t angry, though. They were… questioning.

The weight of their attention pulled at you, but the man’s hand on your waist brought you back to reality. You looked at him, realizing you weren’t interested—not in the way he wanted.

The dance was nice, but it was hollow. Your heart wasn’t in it.

After a few more moments of forced movement, you finally pulled back, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “Hey, I’m going to take a break,” you said, your voice casual, though your insides churned. “Thanks for the dance, though.”

The man raised an eyebrow, surprised, but offered a smooth nod. “Of course,” he said with a grin. “Enjoy yourself.”

You gave him a polite nod and walked away, stepping off the dance floor with a sense of relief. You didn’t look back at him, but the moment you turned your gaze back to where Heeseung and Ni-ki were standing, you caught them watching you. Neither of them moved, but their eyes met yours again, and the tension between them was palpable.

You paused for a moment, feeling the weight of their unspoken words hanging in the air. But this time, you didn’t feel trapped. You didn’t feel like you owed anyone anything, not the man, not Heeseung, and certainly not Ni-ki.

You walked toward the bar, shaking off the remnants of the dance. This was your night. You didn’t need to please anyone, not even yourself. Tonight, you were free to be exactly who you wanted to be.

---

You sat at the bar, your fingers grazing the rim of your glass as you let the cool liquid settle in front of you. The faint hum of music echoed throughout the club, but it was the low murmur of conversation around you that pulled your focus inwards. You were more aware than ever of the gaze that lingered on you from across the room. Heeseung and Ni-ki. The tension between them, the heat in their eyes, was unmistakable.

You could feel their stares on you, even as you kept your gaze fixed downward, swirling the drink in your hand. You weren’t foolish enough to ignore the pull you felt towards them—towards both of them. The problem now was how much you’d changed. How much you had grown. You’d spent months finding yourself, growing into the confident person you now were. The person who didn’t need to be defined by anyone else’s affection, not even by two men you once thought could hold you together.

But still, the pull of desire was there, a fire simmering under your skin as you remembered the passion, the tension, the way your body responded to their touch. A quick glance up from the drink confirmed what you already knew. They were still watching. It was like they couldn’t look away, couldn’t stop themselves from admiring the person you had become.

Your heart twisted at the thought. No more manipulation. No more games. This wasn’t the same dynamic anymore. They had changed—both of them. And so had you. But even though you knew what was best for you, it didn’t stop the temptation to feel wanted, to see them both fall apart for you. They were desperate. They were *whiny*—needing you, craving you in a way that sent warmth curling through your stomach.

And damn, did you love the control it gave you.

The music thudded louder in your ears as you took another slow sip of your drink. The temptation to look over, to meet their gazes, to see if they were still waiting for a signal from you, was almost unbearable. But you held back. You weren’t going to make this easy. Not for them.

Your fingers curled around the glass, tightening, before you finally gave in—just a little. You took a deep breath and raised your eyes.

They were still watching, their eyes locked onto you as if their very existence depended on it. Heeseung, a bit more reserved, but his gaze was hungry, desperate. Ni-ki, the younger one, a little more brazen, his expression full of longing, his hands twitching as if he wanted to reach out but was holding himself back. And as your eyes met theirs, you could almost feel the weight of their desire pressing against you, like a magnetic pull that refused to be ignored.

You stared at them for a beat longer than necessary. Your lips curved up into a small, knowing smile, just enough to tease.

Then, without breaking eye contact, you slowly raised your hand and pointed directly at them.

Both men froze. Their eyes widened. They exchanged a brief, almost imperceptible look between each other, but neither of them moved—not until they saw the slight smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.

That was it. That was all it took. Your simple gesture, your subtle command, had shattered whatever control they thought they had left.

And in that instant, both men broke.

Heeseung stood, his body tense, his breath shallow. He took a step toward you, then another, and another, the space between you closing rapidly. Ni-ki was right behind him, just as desperate, just as hungry.

They rushed toward you with a desperation that both thrilled and overwhelmed you. You watched them, your heart pounding as you felt the heat rise in your chest. You didn’t have to say anything. They had already learned what it meant to follow your lead.

The goosebumps along your skin prickled as they reached you, standing on either side, so close now you could feel the tension in the air between them. It was suffocating in the best way. Your power, your control over the situation, was undeniable.

For a moment, no one moved. The space between you was charged, humming with need, with desperation. They were waiting for you, as if they couldn’t take another breath without you giving them permission.

And that was when it hit you—how far they had both fallen, how much they had changed for you. The men you once thought had nothing to offer you were now completely at your mercy, and it felt good. So good.

This was what you had earned. This was your moment. You weren’t going to let them control you anymore.

Not now.

Not ever.

But you could let them want you. You could make them beg. And, oh, how you loved the idea of that.

You tilted your head slightly, your gaze shifting between them as a slow, deliberate smile spread across your lips. “You both know why you’re here,” you murmured, your voice low, almost taunting.

Heeseung’s chest rose and fell with every breath, his expression tense as if he were holding himself back from doing something he didn’t quite know he should. Ni-ki’s lips parted, and his eyes glittered with something darker, a rawness you hadn’t seen in him before.

Neither man spoke, but their eyes told you everything. They were both waiting. Waiting for you to take control. Waiting for you to make the first move.

And so, you did.

The bass reverberates through the floor as you rise from your seat without a word. You don’t need to say anything— you know they’re watching, know their bodies are already wound tight with anticipation. Your hips sway naturally, deliberately, as you step onto the dancefloor. The air is thick, pulsing with heat and music, but the real tension lies in the space between you and the two men who, despite their best efforts, can’t resist your pull.

Ni-ki and Heeseung share a glance, a fleeting second where restraint crumbles between them. Then, like moths to a flame, they follow.

The crowd parts subtly as you move, eyes catching onto the effortless way your body moves with the music.

The moment you step onto the dancefloor, you can feel the weight of their eyes on you. The bass pulses beneath your feet, the air thick with the scent of sweat, liquor, and electricity. Around you, bodies move in chaotic waves, but you command a different kind of rhythm—one that is slow, deliberate, intoxicating.

You don’t look back to see if they followed. You don’t need to. You know they have.

And then, just as you expected, they’re there.

When you finally slow, positioning yourself in the center of the dance floor, you feel them step into place behind you—one on each side, caging you in without a single touch.

Heeseung’s warmth spreads over your back first, his hands grazing your waist, hesitant at first, but that hesitation crumbles the second you roll your hips back against him. His grip tightens instantly, fingers pressing into the fabric of your dress. He exhales sharply against your ear, the heat of it making you shiver.

Ni-ki doesn’t hesitate at all. He steps in front of you, so close their chests nearly touch, his gaze flickering between your lips and your eyes. “You have no idea what you’re doing to us,” he murmurs, low and breathless.

You smirk, tilting your head slightly. “Oh, I think I do.”

And then you move.

Your body melts into Heeseung’s as you grind against him, slow and teasing. You feel the sharp inhale he takes, the way his grip turns bruising as he tries to control himself. But you don’t let up, rolling your hips deeper, pressing harder.

“Fuck,” Heeseung groans, his fingers digging into your hips as he leans down, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “You’re gonna kill me.”

Ni-ki watches, his jaw clenched, eyes dark as he takes in the sight of your body moving against Heeseung’s. But he doesn’t stay idle for long. His hands slide over your arms before trailing lower, ghosting over your waist before settling firmly on your hips, sandwiching you between them.

“You think you can just do whatever you want, don’t you?” Ni-ki murmurs, voice thick with heat. His lips are dangerously close to yours now.

You tilt your head, lips parting slightly. “I know I can.”

Ni-ki chuckles, low and dark, before leaning in—his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck. The featherlight touch sends a shiver down your spine, your breath hitching as he presses a lingering kiss there.

Heeseung’s hands shift, one splaying over your stomach, pressing you further against him. His lips graze your ear again, his voice raspier now. “You love this, don’t you? Having both of us like this?“

You hum, tilting your head to the side to give Ni-ki better access to your neck. “Maybe.”

Ni-ki nips at your skin in response, making you gasp. Heeseung, not to be outdone, tightens his hold and grinds against you, letting you feel just how much you’re affecting him.

The music swells around you, drowning out everything else. They switch positions fluidly—Ni-ki sliding behind you now, his hands wandering, his breath hot against the back of your neck. Heeseung in front of you, his eyes locked onto yours, a challenge in them.

Ni-ki’s lips twitch into a smirk, his hands finding your hips as you both fall back into rhythm, moving together like you’ve done this a hundred times before.

You let your head tilt back against Ni-ki's shoulder, reveling in the feeling of their hands, their heat, their absolute desperation for you.

You’re completely in control. And they both know it.

You let them move with you, the three of you falling into a sensual, intoxicating rhythm. Your bodies press, shift, mold together, moving as one. Heat coils at the base of your spine as hands wander—touching, teasing, claiming.

People are watching. You can feel their gazes, some intrigued, others scandalized, but you don’t care. Let them look. Let them see what it means to be wanted.

Heeseung’s fingers trail up your side, featherlight yet possessive. Ni-ki’s hands tighten, anchoring you between them.

And you?

You smile, loving the newfound feeling of power.

The heat between you and them is unbearable now. Every grind, every whispered breath against flushed skin, every lingering touch has pushed them to the very edge of restraint. Both bulges in their pants undeniable by now, growing with each passing second. The music, the flashing lights, the crowd around you—it all fades into nothing.

You know they’re waiting for you. You can feel it in the way Heeseung’s grip flexes on your waist, in the way Ni-ki’s fingers hesitate against your skin as if fighting every instinct to just take you right here.

But they don’t.

Because they’ve changed.

Because they won’t let this happen unless they know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it’s what you want.

Ni-ki leans in first, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Y/N,” he murmurs, voice strained, “tell us now if you want to stop.“

Heeseung, on the other side of you, breathes just as heavily. “We won’t take another step if you don’t want this.”

You pull back slightly, meeting both of their eyes. Their restraint is obvious—the tight clench of Heeseung’s jaw, the way Ni-ki’s fingers flex like he’s trying to stop himself from pulling you closer.

They’re waiting on you.

You smirk, tilting your head. “Then keep up,” you purr, before slipping out of their hold and striding toward the exit.

The second you step outside, you don’t have to turn to know they’re following.

---

The door to Heeseung’s apartment barely clicks open before Ni-ki pushes forward, his hand firm on your waist as he guides you inside, your bodies colliding in a heated frenzy. His lips crash onto yours without hesitation, kissing you like he’s been starving for you all night. You don’t even have time to catch your breath before you’re melting into him, fingers threading through his hair as he deepens the kiss, tilting his head to claim you fully.

Heeseung steps inside after you, shutting the door with a quiet click. He should feel jealous—maybe even furious—but instead, he feels something entirely different. Something dark and electric curling in his stomach as he watches Ni-ki devour you, as he watches you let him.

You gasp against Ni-ki’s mouth when his hands slide down your sides, gripping the curve of your hips to pull you impossibly closer. Heeseung swallows, his throat dry as he leans against the door, his fingers twitching at his sides. He shouldn’t like this. But he does. God, he does.

Your dress rides up slightly as Ni-ki presses you against the cool wall, his lips trailing from your mouth down to the line of your jaw. You tilt your head back, eyes fluttering closed, giving in to the feeling of Ni-ki’s lips ghosting down your throat. A quiet, breathy sigh leaves your lips, and Heeseung clenches his jaw.

You suddenly peek at him through lidded eyes, a knowing smirk playing on your lips. “Enjoying the view?” you tease, your voice sultry and dripping with amusement.

Heeseung exhales sharply, pushing off the door. He steps forward, slow, deliberate, and when he meets Ni-ki’s gaze over your shoulder, there’s no rivalry—only understanding. Only shared desire.

And Heeseung finally realizes: He doesn’t mind sharing, not when it’s you.

Just as Ni-ki’s lips start trailing lower, you place a firm hand on his chest and push him back. He stumbles slightly, brows knitting together in confusion as he looks at you. Heeseung watches too, standing still, his breath caught in his throat as you straighten yourself up.

“Alright,” you say, smoothing down your dress with slow, deliberate movements, your confidence dripping into every word. “Before we take another step, let’s get one thing clear—I’m in charge tonight.“

Ni-ki’s lips part slightly, still catching his breath from the way he’d had you against the wall just moments ago. Heeseung, on the other hand, simply nods, his gaze locked onto yours like he’s ready to follow every single command you give.

You step forward, your heels clicking softly against the floor as you let your eyes scan over both of them, making sure they understand. You tilt your head. “No touching unless I say so.”

Ni-ki exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair as if trying to compose himself, while Heeseung just bites his lower lip, nodding again, more eagerly this time.

“And no getting jealous.” Your eyes flicker between them, watching as they both exchange a look before quickly nodding again.

Your lips curve into a small, satisfied smile. “Good boys.”

Heeseung audibly exhales, his entire body going tense. Ni-ki, usually the cocky one, swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he fights the urge to reach for you again.

But you aren’t done.

You turn to Heeseung now, stepping into his space, and he immediately straightens up, eyes wide and expectant. You place a hand on his chest, feeling the way his heartbeat pounds against your palm, and you lean in, pressing a soft, fleeting kiss to his lips.

It’s barely a second—just a taste, just a tease—but when you pull back, Heeseung makes the smallest sound.

A whimper.

You feel it in your stomach, the power you have over them both. Heeseung’s eyes are heavy-lidded, his breath shaky, his hands twitching at his sides as if he’s physically restraining himself from reaching for you.

“More,” he murmurs, almost pleading.

You just smirk. “Only if you behave.”

And Heeseung, desperate, nods without hesitation.

You step back slightly, arms crossing over your chest as you eye the two men in front of you. Heeseung’s lips are parted, his breath uneven, while Ni-ki rolls his shoulders back, like he’s trying to keep himself together. But you can see the way they’re both holding back—the tension in their muscles, the way their fingers twitch at their sides, desperate to reach for you.

You let the silence stretch between them, reveling in the power shift, before finally tilting your head. “If you want to touch me…” You trail off, tapping a manicured nail against your chin. “Then you should earn it.”

Ni-ki lifts a brow. “Earn it?”

You smirk. “Get on your knees.”

For a second, neither of them moves. Not out of defiance—but because they’re both stunned.

“You’re joking,” Heeseung finally says, voice a little breathless.

You raise a brow. “Do I look like I’m joking?”

There’s a pause. A heavy, suffocating moment of tension.

And then—Ni-ki moves first.

He drops to his knees without hesitation, his dark eyes locked onto yours. A muscle in his jaw twitches, his usual confidence faltering under the intensity of your gaze. But he doesn’t care. He wants this—wants you.

Heeseung follows a beat later, exhaling sharply through his nose as he lowers himself. He swallows, looking up at you with wide, needy eyes, his fingers curling into fists against his thighs.

You let out a small hum of approval, stepping closer so that they’re kneeling right in front of you, looking up like you’re something to be worshipped.

Ni-ki exhales, licking his lips. “Let me touch you.” His voice is hoarse, lower than usual.

You tilt your head. “That’s not begging, Ni-ki.”

He groans, his hands twitching at his sides. “Please, Y/N,” he murmurs, the rasp in his voice making your stomach tighten. “I need to feel you.”

Heeseung shifts slightly, his lips parting. “Me too,” he says, his voice almost a whisper. “Please.”

You press your lips together, pretending to consider it. You can feel the heat radiating off them, the way they’re barely keeping it together. You reach out, brushing your fingers through Heeseung’s dark hair, making him shudder at the touch.

“You can do better than that,” you muse.

Heeseung’s breath stutters, and then he lets out a soft, desperate whine. “Y/N,” he whispers, shifting on his knees. “Please. Please let me touch you. I’ll be good—I swear.“

Ni-ki exhales sharply, his hands gripping his own thighs like he’s holding himself back from just yanking you forward. “Please, princess,” he murmurs, his voice husky. “I’ll do anything.”

You grin now, reveling in the way they’re completely at your mercy. “Anything?”

They both nod—Ni-ki’s breath ragged, Heeseung’s lips trembling.

You let the moment stretch, making them squirm. Then, finally—you exhale and step back.

“Good boys.”

And just like that, you see them both nearly break.

You watch them—still on their knees, eyes blown wide, hands twitching like they’re holding back everything inside them just for you.

You hum, dragging your fingers along Ni-ki’s jaw, then trailing them over Heeseung’s cheek. They both lean into your touch instantly, like it’s the only thing keeping them sane.

“Since you were both so good for me,” you muse, “I’ll let you touch me now.”

Their sharp inhales fill the space between them, but before they can get ahead of themselves, you lift a single finger.

“But only how I say.”

They nod instantly.

You tilt your head. “Carry me to the bed.”

For a moment, they hesitate—not because they don’t want to, but because they both move at the same time, hands bumping into each other as they reach for you. There’s a flicker of something between them—silent, understanding, but also competitive.

Then Ni-ki moves first, wrapping an arm under your legs while Heeseung supports your back, and together, they lift you effortlessly. You let your head fall back slightly, allowing yourself to revel in the way their strong arms hold you—secure, reverent, desperate.

They carry you to the bed as if you’re something precious, something delicate. But you are anything but delicate.

As soon as you’re placed on the soft sheets, you straighten, looking between them. They’re standing now, both looming over you, waiting—hanging onto your every move.

You smirk, running a slow hand up your thigh, watching the way their gazes follow it like magnets.

“Take off my dress,” you order. “And my shoes. But nothing else.”

A sharp breath from Heeseung. Ni-ki’s jaw clenches.

But they obey.

Ni-ki moves first, fingers reaching for the straps of your dress, sliding them down your shoulders with agonizing slowness. His fingertips ghost over your skin, and you don’t miss the way his breath shudders.

Heeseung’s hands trail down your legs, working on unstrapping your heels, knuckles brushing against your skin as he slides them off, one by one. His fingers are warm, careful—almost worshipping.

The dress pools at your waist now, and Ni-ki glances up at you for permission before sliding it further down. You give a small nod, and he exhales, dragging the fabric over your hips, down your thighs, until it’s nothing but a heap on the floor.

Now, you sit before them—legs crossed, clad only in lace and confidence.

You see it—the way they both freeze, eyes dark and heavy, drinking you in like you’re their last salvation.

You shift slightly, watching their gazes flicker over you.

But before they can move—before they can even think about reaching for you—you raise a finger again.

“That’s enough,” you murmur. “Now… just look.”

A sharp pause.

Ni-ki’s throat bobs. Heeseung’s hands tighten into fists.

And then, they do exactly as they’re told.

They look.

You lean back against the headboard, your legs crossed as you study the two men standing before you. Their chests rise and fall unevenly, their hands twitching at their sides, desperate to reach for you. But you aren’t going to make this easy for them. No, they have to earn it.

“Since you’re both so eager,” you muse, tilting your head, “why don’t you start by showing me how much you really want it?”

Heeseung and Ni-ki exchange a glance, uncertainty flickering in their eyes. The room is thick with tension, the kind that makes the air feel heavier, their skin more sensitive, their breathing more labored.

Your lips curl. “Kiss each other.”

The silence that follows is deafening. Heeseung’s breath hitched, his eyes darting between Ni-ki and you, searching for some kind of confirmation that you’re serious. Ni-ki, on the other hand, lets out a sharp exhale, licking his lips as he studies Heeseung’s reaction. There’s no protest, no outright rejection—just the heavy weight of hesitation settling over them both.

“Or,” you shrug, trailing a slow, teasing finger down the bare skin of your thigh, “you don’t have to. But then, neither of you get to touch me.”

A quiet, unspoken understanding passes between them. It’s a test—a challenge they aren’t willing to fail.

Ni-ki swallows hard, shifting on his feet. Heeseung clenches his jaw.

Then, finally, Heeseung exhales. “Okay.”

Ni-ki nods, as if reassuring himself.

Slowly, Ni-ki reaches out, his fingers curling into the fabric of Heeseung’s shirt. There’s a moment of pause, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. The anticipation alone sends a ripple of something dangerous and thrilling through your veins.

Then, in one swift motion, Ni-ki pulls Heeseung forward.

Their lips meet in a clash of uncertainty and heat. The first contact is tentative, almost questioning, but the moment their mouths move against each other, something shifts. Heeseung sucks in a sharp breath at the unexpected sensation, and Ni-ki, testing the waters, tilts his head slightly, deepening the kiss just enough to pull them further into the moment.

You smirked, heat pooling in your stomach as you watched them melt into each other.

The hesitation is still there, lingering in the way their fingers twitch against fabric, in the sharp inhales between parted lips. But with every passing second, that hesitation begins to unravel—replaced by something neither of them can deny.

They liked it.

The realization hits at the same time.

A quiet, shaky exhale leaves Heeseung’s mouth as Ni-ki’s hand slides up his arm, gripping lightly. Heeseung responds in kind, fingers curling into the hem of Ni-ki’s shirt, pulling him in just a little closer. Their movements are equal, neither leading nor following, just moving together, testing, exploring, discovering.

Your lips parted slightly, amusement flickering in your gaze. “Good boys.”

That simple praise sends a visible shudder through both of them.

Heeseung lets out the softest whimper against Ni-ki’s lips, and the sound sends a jolt of something electric down Ni-ki’s spine. Emboldened, he mirrored the same energy, pressing in just enough to elicit a quiet gasp from Heeseung this time. They both felt it—the shift, the hunger, the desire crackling between them like a slow-burning fire.

They broke apart only when the need for air became unbearable.

Both of them are breathless, pupils blown wide, lips swollen from the exchange.

You slowly uncrossed your legs, dragging your fingers down your collarbone in deliberate, tantalizing strokes. “Now,” you purred, watching them closely, “let’s see if you can follow my next order just as well.”

And judging by the way their bodies were already responding to you, you had no doubt they would.

You let the silence stretch, your gaze trailing lazily over the two breathless men in front of you. Their lips were swollen, their bodies tense, their eyes locked onto yours like you were the only thing that existed.

A slow smirk curled at the corner of your mouth. “Touch each other.”

Heeseung’s breath caught. Ni-ki’s fingers twitched.

Your nails grazed your thigh, just enough to draw their attention. “Make it feel good.”

A muscle in Heeseung’s jaw clenched, his mind visibly working through the command. Ni-ki, on the other hand, exhaled sharply, shifting where he stood, but he didn’t step back. Neither of them did.

Because they wanted this. Maybe more than they were ready to admit.

It was Ni-ki who moved first, his hand lifting hesitantly before pressing against Heeseung’s waist. The touch was light—almost experimental—but it sent a ripple of something electric through both of them. Heeseung inhaled shakily, his body stiff for only a second before his own hands came up, brushing tentatively against Ni-ki’s arms.

You tilted your head, watching intently. “Come on,” you murmured, your voice dripping with expectation. “You can do better than that.”

Ni-ki swallowed hard, his fingers tightening. Heeseung mirrored the motion, his palms sliding up the curve of Ni-ki’s shoulders. Their breathing grew heavier, their touches lingering, testing.

Then, as if something finally clicked, Ni-ki’s hands moved. They trailed over Heeseung’s chest, fingertips dragging over fabric, pressing just enough to make him shudder. Heeseung exhaled sharply, and in response, he let his own hands wander—gliding down Ni-ki’s sides, tracing the shape of his ribs.

A quiet, unspoken challenge passed between them.

Ni-ki’s fingers dipped lower, teasing at Heeseung’s waistline, and Heeseung retaliated by ghosting his touch up the bare skin just beneath Ni-ki’s shirt. A quiet hitch of breath escaped him at the contact.

You bit your lip, your gaze dark with satisfaction. “That’s more like it.”

Something changed in the air.

What started as obedience had shifted into something else entirely.

Ni-ki and Heeseung weren’t just following orders anymore. They were reacting—exploring, pushing boundaries neither of them had considered before. And judging by the way their hands refused to let go, they weren’t stopping anytime soon.

You let the moment stretch, drinking in the sight before you—two men tangled in something neither of them fully understood yet, but neither of them wanted to stop. Their breathing was heavy, their hands still lingering on each other as if unsure whether to pull away or press closer.

A slow, satisfied smile curled across your lips. “Take off your shirts.”

The command settled over them like a slow-burning fuse.

Heeseung blinked, his fingers twitching where they still rested against Ni-ki’s waist. Ni-ki, usually so composed, let out a slow breath, his throat bobbing.

Your gaze darkened. “Do I need to repeat myself?”

That was all it took.

Neither of them spoke. They only exchanged a glance—brief but charged—before moving at the same time.

Fingers grasped fabric, muscles flexing as they pulled their shirts over their heads in one smooth motion. The air between them grew heavier, thick with something unspoken as their shirts hit the floor.

You leaned back against the headboard, letting your gaze trail lazily over them. Bare skin, toned and flushed, chests rising and falling in tandem. You could see the tension in their shoulders, the way their fingers twitched slightly, as if waiting for your next move.

You dragged a slow finger along your collarbone, watching how their eyes followed the movement. Then you tilted your head, your voice soft but laced with authority.

“Now touch me.”

There was no hesitation this time.

Two pairs of hands reached for you at once.

You felt the heat radiating from their bare skin as their hands hovered just above you, waiting for the moment they were allowed to touch. But you weren’t going to give them that satisfaction so easily.

You exhaled slowly, letting the silence stretch, savoring the way their chests rose and fell with restrained anticipation. Then, you tilted your chin up and spoke, your voice soft yet commanding.

“Ask for it.”

Heeseung’s fingers twitched, his breath hitching slightly. Ni-ki licked his lips, his jaw tightening.

You smirked. “If you want to touch me, you need to say it.”

There was a flicker of hesitation between them—pride warring with desire. But you could already see it in their eyes. They wanted this too much to resist.

Heeseung was the first to break, his voice low and rough. “I want to touch you.”

Ni-ki followed, his words slightly more controlled, but no less desperate. “Let me touch you.”

You ran a teasing hand down your own arm, watching the way their gazes tracked the movement hungrily. Then, you let out a satisfied hum.

“Good boys.”

Their bodies tensed at the praise, but before they could react, you leaned forward slightly, your next command slipping from your lips like a promise.

“Use your mouths.”

The room was thick with anticipation, the air charged with something electric. Your command lingered, a promise wrapped in temptation.

Heeseung and Ni-ki hesitated for only a second before moving at the same time, drawn in by the invisible pull between them.

Heeseung was the first to lean in, his breath warm as it ghosted over your skin. He started slow, pressing a soft, deliberate kiss against the curve of your shoulder. Ni-ki followed, mirroring him on the other side, his lips brushing just beneath your jaw.

You exhaled, your fingers curling against the sheets, your satisfaction evident in the way you tilted your head back slightly, exposing more of your neck.

Encouraged, they grew bolder.

Ni-ki’s lips trailed lower, his mouth pressing against your collarbone, lingering there for a moment as if testing how much he was allowed. Heeseung mirrored his movements, his touch just as reverent, yet equally unrestrained. There was no competition now, no fight for dominance—only them moving in perfect sync, learning, exploring, savoring.

You could feel it, the shift between them. What had started as obedience was turning into something more. The careful touches, the way their lips mapped over your skin—it wasn’t just for you anymore.

They liked this.

You could feel it in the way their breaths grew heavier, in the way their hands hovered near your waist, unsure if they were allowed to touch more. You could hear it in the barely-there sounds they let slip, low and unguarded.

You smirked, your fingers lifting to tangle lightly in Heeseung’s hair, then in Ni-ki’s, pulling just enough to make them pause. Their eyes met yours, dazed, wanting.

“You’re both doing so well,” you murmured, your voice smooth, dripping with satisfaction.

The praise sent a visible shudder through them both.

Your breath hitched as Heeseung’s gaze locked with yours, his eyes dark with anticipation. The tension between them was thick, palpable, and you could feel it swirling around you, pulling you in. Without a word, you moved closer, your fingers brushing over the side of his face, your hand gently cupping his jaw.

Heeseung's eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he leaned into your touch, his lips parted slightly. Your thumb traced the line of his lips, feeling the heat radiating from him. You could see the barely-contained desire in his expression, the way his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths. Your heart raced, but you weren’t in a hurry—you wanted to savor this.

Slowly, you guided his face closer to yours, your fingers gripping his jaw just firmly enough to pull him into you. You felt him hesitate, just for a moment, before he closed the distance, his lips meeting yours with a gentle yet urgent pressure.

The kiss was slow at first, tender, as if you were both testing the waters. You let out a soft sigh against his lips, and Heeseung deepened it just slightly, his hand coming up to rest on your waist. It was an exploration, a careful exchange of desire and need.

But you weren’t done yet. As the kiss deepened, you turned your attention to Ni-ki, who had been watching you intently, his body tense with a mix of impatience and desire. You tilted your head, your eyes locking with his, and with a subtle, commanding gesture, you placed your hand on the back of his head, gently guiding his face downwards.

Ni-ki didn’t pull away, but instead leaned into your touch, his breath catching as he felt the pressure of your fingers on his skin. Slowly, he allowed himself to be guided, his mouth moving lower, his lips brushing against your thighs as you kept your grip steady.

Your heart raced at the sensation of both of them so close, so present. Heeseung’s lips were soft against yours, deepening the kiss with a mix of hunger and restraint, while Ni-ki’s breath ghosted over your skin, the warmth of him radiating through you as he followed your lead.

The kiss between you and Heeseung grew more heated, the intensity rising with every passing second. You could feel the pulse of desire between you, a raw, electric connection. At the same time, Ni-ki’s touch against your still clothed cunt sent a shiver down your spine, the combination of the two driving your senses wild.

As the kiss broke, you pulled back just enough to look into Heeseung’s eyes, your fingers still resting on his face. He was breathing heavily, his lips slightly swollen, and one could see the mix of longing and frustration in his gaze. You smiled, your voice soft but commanding, "You both wanted this... Now show me just how much."

And just like the Ni-ki rushes to push your panties down your thighs, the lack of fabric against your sensitive cunt rips a guttural moan from your throat.

They both came to a halt after hearing the noise.

It was almost too much. The way your voice, quiet but dripping with heat, seemed to vibrate through the space, making their hearts race and their breaths quicken. Your fingers gripped the fabric of the sheets beneath you, the sound of it brushing against the bed mingling with your breathless sighs, sending a jolt of raw need through both of them.

Ni-ki’s hand tightened into a fist at his side, his knuckles white. His lips parted, as if he were struggling to hold back, his entire body wound tight with the need to move. Heeseung’s gaze was just as intense, his lips pressed in a thin line, eyes dark with the strain of keeping control.

You met Ni-ki's gaze, voice low and commanding, "Go ahead, I want to see what you can do."

As soon as the words slip past your lips, Ni-ki pushes his head in between your legs and this time you physically can't stop yourself from bucking your hips into his touch.

"Heeseung continue", you hiss through gritted teeth only to choke on your words as soon as Ni-ki licks a long stripe over the entirety of your cunt, savoring every drop landing on his tongue like it's the sweetest meal he's ever tasted.

Heeseung’s gaze flickered between Ni-ki and you, his breath shallow as he watched Ni-ki’s every movement. Heeseung’s body ached to be closer, to stake his claim in the space between them. The sight of Ni-ki inching closer to you only ignited something deeper within him, something primal.

But then he remembered the rules for tonight.

Without a word, Heeseung cupped your face in his hands, his thumb brushing over your jaw. Your eyes met his for a split second, and that was all he needed. He closed the distance between you, kissing you with a hunger he could no longer control.

Ni-ki doesn’t even notices Heeseungs eagerness, to occupied with losing himself in your taste. "F-Fuck", he grunts and digs his fingers deeper into the skin of your ass cheeks, hating himself for losing his composure but to his luck your way too fucked out already to take notice of his little outburst.

Heeseungs takes this as a signal to make his move by making your tits his new territory. He looks at you with the biggest puppy eyes, pleading to finally be allowed to touch you, claim you, taste you more. If only you’d allow him to take of that lacy bra he wanted to rip off all night.

And the moment your eyes lock and you nod at him, he rips it of and attaches his mouth to your hard and perky nipples.

You long lost control of yourself as moan after moan follows each breathless gasp for air and high pitched whimper of both their names.

Yet again, Ni-ki doesn't give you enough time to catch a breath of air by sucking your clit into his mouth, applying just enough pressure on your sensitive clit with his tongue to have you gasping for air.

Heeseung is relentless, careless and sloppy. Loud slurping noises match the actions of his mouth as he licks every spot he can reach, not a single word leaving his lips as he's too busy making sure to leave no spot untouched.

It doesn't take long for you to tip toe around the edge as Ni-ki switches between thrusting his tongue into your tight hole and drawing circles into your needy bundle of nerves.

"C-Close", you suddenly whisper and it's then that Ni-ki realises that he's had his eyes closed the whole time, like some pussy drunk freak.

“Fuck, yes. Make me cum“ you moans. And Ni-ki doesn’t need to be told twice. The second he goes back to pushing his tongue into your tight hole, you feels a wave of relief hit your nerves and before you can even process what's happening, Ni-ki applies just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive clit and easily pushes you over the edge with just those few movements, while Heeseung is still touching and kissing you all over. He even started leaving hickeys all over your neck and collarbones.

You doesn’t know how much time passes until you regains your composure but it's the sound of Heeseung unbuckling his belt which pulls you back into reality.

You pulled back abruptly, your fingers curling around Heeseung’s jaw, forcing him to look at you. Your eyes, once filled with heat, were now sharp, commanding.

"Did I say you could do that?" Your voice was low, dangerous.

Heeseung swallowed hard, his lips still parted, the taste of you lingering on his tongue. He didn’t answer fast enough.

Your grip tightened, your nails pressing into his skin just enough to make him shiver. "I asked you a question, Heeseung."

He hesitated, then shook his head slightly. "No... you didn’t."

A smirk ghosted across your lips, but there was no warmth in it. "Then I guess you’ll have to make up for that mistake."

With a slow, deliberate push, you guided him back, her tone dripping with authority. "Sit down. Now."

After that you continues pulling down his jeans, but stop when you reaches his boxers. As slow as possible you start palming him trough them. And while it didn’t seem like a punishment at first, Heeseung understands now, cause he doesn’t want nothing more than just to be touched by you.

Heeseung bit down on his lower lip, muffling a whimper as his body trembled. Your hands slip under his boxers stroking his hard dick, but still slow and teasing.

His eyes, glossy with unshed tears, flickered upward, searching for mercy. “P-please…” he choked out, voice barely above a whisper.

A low chuckle met his plea. “Oh? Now you’re begging?” Fingers traced the curve of his jaw, tilting his chin up. “You knew there’d be consequences, didn’t you, Heeseung?”

His breath hitched as he nodded, another broken whimper slipping past his lips. He had known. But knowing never made it any easier.

Ni-ki sat perfectly still, his hands clenched into fists on his lap, his body tense with restraint. Heeseung’s soft whimpers filled the room, each one making it harder for him to stay still, to not reach out—to not react.

His jaw tightened as he swallowed the urge to move. He wanted to do something, anything, but he knew better. You hadn’t given him permission.

His gaze flickered toward you, eyes pleading, desperate for instruction. But all he received was a knowing smirk and a simple command:

“Stay.”

So he did. Even as Heeseung trembled beside him, even as his own resolve threatened to crack.

And then finally you pulled away from Heeseung, only to move forward and align your glistening cunt with his cock.

Heeseung who was already overstimulated by now, cried out as you lowered himself painfully slow. When his hard cock reached fully inside of you a loud moan left the both of you.

And with two words Heeseung felt like he could finally breathe again: “Fuck me“.

Heeseung’s hesitation melted away the moment he realized you weren’t stopping him. His grip tightened, his breath coming faster, excitement flickering to life in his darkened eyes.

A low chuckle slipped from his lips—this was what he had been craving. Control. Power. And now that you’d given him a taste, he wanted more.

He moves quickly, almost too eagerly, his cock thrusting into you hard and fast. “Fuck“ Ni-ki moans, sitting right next to you and watching the scene unfold.

Your hand is quick to grab Ni-kis face to pull him closer to your body, your dark eyes roaming his features, expression dripping in the deadly combination of ecstasy and lust.

“Open up“

The command was sharp, leaving no room for hesitation. And there was none. His lips parted instantly, instinctively, his breath hitching just slightly as he held still, waiting for whatever you decided to give him.

You leaned in slowly, letting the anticipation coil between you, before finally letting the saliva drip from your lips into his waiting mouth.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed without question, without complaint.

“Good boy,” you murmured, watching the way his pupils dilated at the praise. He didn’t move, didn’t break eye contact—just waited, ready for whatever you wanted next.

At the same time it feels like Heeseung is hitting every single one of your sweetest spots, the tip of his cock grazing the entrance to your womb with every single one of his movements.

Your voice cut through the moans, firm and unwavering. “Switch.”

Ni-ki moved first—quick, obedient, slipping seamlessly into Heeseung’s position without hesitation. This time you sat down facing the other direction, your ass facing Ni-ki. Heeseung, on the other hand, hesitated for just a second, his jaw tightening as if he wanted to protest. But one sharp look from you had him lowering his gaze and moving, albeit slower, adjusting to his new role.

You pulled him in front of you, while lowering yourself on Ni-ki. It doesn't take him too long to find the perfect rhythm, pulling his cock all the way out of your tight cunt just to thrust himself back inside of you with sharp movements of his hips.

At the same time you guided Heeseungs dick in to your mouth as a reward for being this good to you the last few hours. All you can do is moan on his dick as the feeling of both their cocks filling you up takes over the last bits of your rational thinking. Lee Heeseung and Nishimura Riki are doing soemthing to your body you’ve never experienced before and at this point you don’t even know what to feel or think.

You feel your second orgasm building up and notices how the two men fucking you are also nearly there. So without saying another word, you push your hand between your bodys and start rubbing another set of harsh circles onto your clit.

It takes exactly a minute and the combination of Ni-kis merciless thrusts and Heeseung pushing his cock down your throat with just the right clit stimulation for you to cum all over Ni-kis cock. This time your orgasm feels even more intense, so intense your vission actually darkens for a solid second before turning blurry.

You're so caught up in the sweetness of your own relief, you barely notice the way Ni-kis thrusts start growing sloppy and uncoordinated and without giving it another thought, you lazily reach back to grab a fistful of his hair and pull at the thick strands and just as expected is the pain in his scalp enough to elicit a deep, gutturual moan from him as he cums inside of you.

Finally heaving your full attention Heeseung reaches for your mouth and trusts a few times more before pulling out with a heavy and breathy moan and coming all over your face.

Heavy breathing is the only sound to fill Heeseung's room for the following few minutes, and as the fog of pleasure slowly starts disappearing, you feel like you're finally able to breathe again.

The room was quieter now, the intensity from earlier gradually fading as the atmosphere shifted. You stood before Heeseung and Ni-ki, their gazes following you, not with the same weight of submission as before, but with an unspoken respect.

“Alright,” you said softly, your voice no longer carrying the sharp edge of authority it once did. “We’re back to normal now.”

Heeseung straightened, the tension in his shoulders easing as he finally exhaled, his posture more relaxed than it had been in hours. His eyes met yours with a quiet understanding, a subtle smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The control had returned to its proper balance, and with it, a certain ease between all of you.

Ni-ki shifted, the electric energy that had once surged through him now tempered with calm. He gave a small nod, his gaze not as intense as before but still filled with a hint of admiration. He wasn’t seeking approval anymore; there was something deeper now, a trust that had been forged through everything that had happened.

“Better?” you asked, more out of curiosity than anything.

Heeseung nodded, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “Much better,” he replied, his voice more at ease now. Ni-ki’s agreement came in a quiet murmur, a subtle shift in his demeanor that mirrored the new harmony between all of them.

“You know,” Ni-ki said, breaking the quiet, “we can do this any way you want. Just… don’t make it so heavy next time.”

You smirked slightly, a playful glint in your eye. “I think we all learned something today, didn’t we?” you said, letting the words hang in the air.

Heeseung shot you a teasing look. “Next time, I get to make the rules.”

“Not so fast,” you replied with a soft laugh, feeling the balance settle back into place. The evening had settled into a comfortable quiet, the air lighter now that the tension had dissipated. You sat on the couch, surrounded by Heeseung and Ni-ki, both of them more relaxed than they had been hours ago. The moments of intensity had passed, but the shift in the atmosphere was palpable—there was a newfound understanding between all of you.

“We’ve been through a lot,” you said, voice soft yet steady. You could feel the weight of the day lifting off everyone’s shoulders, a sense of peace spreading through the room.

Ni-ki glanced at Heeseung before speaking up, his tone light but sincere. “I think we’re good now, yeah? It doesn’t feel as… tense anymore.”

Heeseung nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, I agree. We’ve figured things out.” He met your gaze, eyes filled with a mixture of respect and something deeper, a connection that went beyond the dynamics of control.

You smiled, leaning back against the cushions, feeling content with how things had turned out. “This is what it should always be—trust and understanding. We each have our roles, but we’re all in this together.”

The three of you sat in silence for a moment, the quiet comfortable. No longer defined by power struggles or control, the bond between you all had evolved into something more genuine, more real. It wasn’t about dominance or submission anymore; it was about each of you finding your place and respecting each other’s limits, desires, and needs.

Eventually, Heeseung reached over, nudging Ni-ki playfully. “So, what now?”

Ni-ki grinned, the energy that had once been electric now settling into something more playful. “Now? We just… live, I guess.”

You looked at them both, a sense of pride swelling in your chest. “Exactly,” you said. “No rush. Just… live.”

Note: Yeahh… so that just happened… not proofread yet btw

Still let me know how you liked it :)

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[therandompagesblog]

SKZ Mate: Chapter 5

Warnings: Childhood trauma, communes, assault, verbal threats

"Hollow Woods is where I grew up. On the Eastbank near Wraithwood. I grew up in a relatively large pack, there were about twenty other werewolves. Some alpha. Some beta and some omega. The majority of them, all had children. I was one of the children. There were roughly 15 or 18 children, there may have been more. It was more like a commune. The children of the pack would go to school in the morning and learn how to be a werewolf. You would learn the basics of hunting and survival skills. The older children, like myself, would learn how to be what we are. In my case, learn about being an omega...

You were incredibly unlucky if you were an omega in our pack. It was the worst thing to ever be. If you were an omega you were fated to downfall. As a female omega, your job was to be a concubine for an alpha. To produce an Apex. Yet, it was never possible for them. The majority of omegas that were born were male in our pack. The ones who were female lost their lives because they were succumbed to mistreatment. Omega's had little rights in our tribe. They were subjected to their alphas most of the time, meaning when an alpha wanted something an omega did it. If an alpha had a rut they needed an omega. If an alpha was angry they needed an omega to take the pain away. Despite all that, an omega was not allowed near an alpha nor a Beta. They were only allowed near them if the called upon them or sent them to a beta. It was tough for all of us. Even for my mother!

My mother was an omega, conceived by two omegas that rebelled against their alphas. Before they were sentenced to death they pleaded with the alpha at the time to take my mother in. My mother was 14 at the time when she watched her parents die. My mother swore she would never make the same mistake her parents made. Instead, my mother was forced to be with our head alpha as his mate in hopes of producing an Apex, but sadly it never happened. My brothers Joshua, Samuel and I were born as Omega. Even my younger brother Milo came out as an omega. We watched our mother for years get slandered and beaten by our alpha for never conceiving an Apex. What was funny to us was our mother conceived an Alpha with Jiyong! Turns out our head alpha cannot conceive other alphas because they were not soul mates. Poor Alpha Jackson! He never got what he dreamed of.

That was until our head alpha committed a heinous act. He forced an omega to conceive an apex through necromancy. This led to an upral with neighbouring packs, particularly one pack. They threatened our pack and told them they would be reported to the elders and the council. So they had to make a pact, or a trade, if you will. They will keep the secret of the apex being born through necromancy if my pack hands over a virgin omega! Well, you see, that was easy for our head alpha because I was the only virgin female omega. The only reason I was a virgin omega is because I hated half of the beta boys in our back. They were flamboyant casanova peacocks."

"So what happened to the apex and their mother did they survive? I've never heard of the omega mother surviving a forced apex pregnancy?" Changbin interrupted her novella out of curiosity. He had heard the story of an apex being born but he didn't think it was true. "From what the pack I was given to told me, they both didn't survive. The mother died during childbirth and the apex died because he went into a sub-drop too early on." Y/N answered with a shrug. "That's crazy. What were they thinking." Changbin stated. He couldn't believe an infant could go through a sub-drop. It was near enough impossible. "Not to disrespect your pack nor your family, but was it more like a breeding farm?" Seungmin asked, causing everyone in the room to freeze. They all thought the same thing but no one wanted to say anything to offend her as she was opening up for the first time with them. "Ah. Yes. Yes it was. They breed to create omegas in hopes that omega would be an alpha's soul mate. Yet it never happened or the omega rebelled and fled"  Y/N answered sadly as she looked down at the wooden floor. "That's fucked up," Seungmin stated. He was about to continue when Chan stopped him with a warning glare. "Please continue Y/N. If at any point it gets too much we can stop and talk about it another day." Chan reassured with a promise.

"Going back to what I was saying. I was basically given to-" "It was Ateez wasn't it? You were given to Hongjoong." The red-haired alpha interrupted with a low growl. His eyes narrowed in on her. "How di-" "I can smell him all over you. Such a disgrace." Hyunjin spat before walking out, leaving the room with an icy feeling. None of them knew what to say at Hyunjins outburst. "Please don't mind Hyunjin little wolf. Hyunjin has quite the history with Ateez." Chan explained with a sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Chan realised this might complicate things as Chan had already stolen from Hongjoong before. "It makes sense," Seungmin added as he watched the omega drop her head in shame. "What does hyung?" The younger alpha asked as he pulled on Seungmin's jumper. "Why our omega was so afraid of us? Look at her Innie. Look at the state of her. You can tell what they've done to her. It was probably that demonic little alpha." Seungmin growled making the omega shrink into the sofa even more. "Seonghwa isn't an alpha," Y/N muttered. "What?" They all said. "Seonghwa is a beta. He just pretends to be an alpha. They only have one other alpha, Wooyoung. It's only because Hongjoong gives him the power that he acts like a fucking alpha." Y/N growled, her eyes sparkling in anger. "So the other six are Betas?" Chan asked in confirmation causing Y/N to stare at him in bewilderment. "You mean the other four are betas. Two of them are omegas. Three including me." Y/N said. "Wait what!" Jisung and Changbin shouted. "Those fucking liars. They're corrupted." Changbin screamed. "Yeah, and you guys are not corrupt," Y/N answered as she rolled her eyes. As far as she was aware Straykids was as bad. "I guess that means we have a lot to think about, but for now let's hold that thought. We can think about Ateez's politics later." Chan looked around the room before continuing. " Minho can you go and check on Hyunjin he will need your guidance. Changbin take Jisung and Seungmin to the border and patrol for the next few hours. They will have realised Y/N-"

Everything sped up for Chan in an instant. One minute his omega was opening up about her background and the next minute she was on the floor withering in immense pain. He knew within seconds it was her previous alpha trying to track her down. He was trying to communicate with her through his bond and mark, but it was only resulting in her suffering. It was clear to Chan that her old alpha, Hongjoong, was trying to make her suffer. Chan knew he needed to remove the mark from her, both of them, but it would be too obvious. He needed Hyunjin to help him and he needed him to act now, regardless of the consequences!

"Hyunjin!" A panicked Chan called out. Within seconds of calling Hyunjin, Chan had his mouth over the top of Hongjoong's mark and bit down on top of it at the same time Hyunjin bit down on the mark on her ass. Both of them could feel the power of the two Ateez marks as they tried to override it by forcing their power onto her. The problem with overriding an alpha mark is it could result in death for that omega. Wolves knew it was rare to have a soul mate which was why they heavily branded and marked their omegas so they wouldn't go missing. Ateez was aware of that. They knew she wasn't really theirs, but they had to lie to her so she wouldn't leave them. What neither of the Alphas realised was how much power the two Ateez alphas had. Chan and Hyunjin were struggling to break the bond as they assaulted her neck, forcing submission. It was an awful sight to see and quite frankly frightened the other forgotten wolves who were witnessing the assault. They had never seen either of the alphas in such an aggressive sadistic state. They couldn't believe how quickly Chan ripped her jumper to sink his fangs straight into her. His eyes glowed a dark shade of ruby as blood poured down her neck. Hyunjin, wasn't any kinder as he bit down on her ass with a deep growl, is hands dug into her calf while the other dug into her waist, leaving nail marks.

The two younger betas, Felix and Jisung were in hysterics as they jumped straight into Minho's lap cuddling up to him. They didn't like to see their omega in such an awful position, they wanted to take it away. They wanted to rip the two alphas off of her and make it all better, but they couldn't. None of them appreciated what was happening. It was making their stomach churn the louder Y/N cried. Her cries were getting louder and it didn't seem like the alphas were going to stop. Jeongin couldn't take it either. A new alpha dealing with the heightened emotions in the room was overwhelming. He could smell the omegas pain. He could smell her blood and anxiety that was bleeding through the entirety of the house. It was too much for him, he had to leave before he acted out. The other two betas, Seungmin and Changbin were stress nesting. They had decided to rearrange their alpha's bedroom completely, ready for their omega to rest in. Seungmin ripped off the covers in a panicked emotional state, slightly sniffing to himself as he changed the pillows. He feared the omega was really going to hate them now. Changbin was aggressively moving the furniture around, cursing his ancestors for making his life hell.

They all felt conflicted. Some felt sick. Some felt remorse. Some felt anger and hatred. Some even felt let down by their ancestors. Except for one little beta, Jisung. He felt hope despite all the trouble she brought. Jisung believed she was the best omega for them. He could feel it deep down which was why he had to stop them. He didn't want her to suffer anymore. His poor omega was bleeding out to the point she had blood coming out her mouth and neither of the alphas realised they were taking it too far. Jisung plucked up the courage to slam straight into his head alpha, causing Chan to slide his teeth down the front of her chest, before falling into the wall. Jisung knew he was risking it all for an omega they barely knew but it felt right as he stood in front of his head alpha stupidly as he tried to challenge him. His heart thumped in panic as he knew he royally fucked up as he heard the little omega scream out in pain as Ateez tried to push the unidentified invasive werewolf out. "Go. Downstairs. Now." Chan alpha ordered out of anger. Jisung put his head down in shame as he headed towards Alpha Hyunjins room of torture, knowing he was going to spend however long in there. Jisung shamefully opened up the metal gate and headed towards the metal chains, wrapping them around his ankles waiting for his punishment that would only come when the omega was safe.

Moments later, Jisung heard Chan and Hyunjin's heavy footsteps coming down into the basement. He wasn't afraid. In fact, he was relieved they were down sooner than he thought. It meant she was safe and marked. Of course, Jisung wasn't happy about his upcoming punishment but it will suffice until he gets to see his omega. "Jisung look at me," Chan ordered. His harsh voice cut through his body. "You know why I sent you down here?". "Yes, because I threw you into the wall for hurting our omega." He said blankly. His answer stunned the alphas. "Because you threw me into the wall." Chan nodded his head, thinking about the sarcastic answer he gave. "Alright. Phase back and forth fifty times a day until I say stop." Chan stated as he headed out the door before stopping. "You can start when Hyunjin breaks one of your back legs."

[jedi-luca]

Avenger Lane Chapter 15: Creature Fear

Summary: You and your wife Quinn move your family outside of New York City to Avenger Lane; a small private suburbia. There you face your toughest obstacle of your marriage. Will your marriage with Quinn be strong enough when a certain redheaded beauty captures your attention? 

Parings: Natasha x Reader

Warnings: Reader has a Penis

Previous Chapter

Natasha opened the door with a look of surprise. Someone was holding a bouquet of flowers, a present, and balloons. She couldn’t even see who it was. Until you popped your head through the balloons.

“Y/N?” She beamed laughing.

“Happy birthday Nat.” You smiled widely.

Natasha couldn’t wait for you to even step inside she jumped in your arms. Presents falling to the floor with petals falling around you. You chuckled holding her up as her legs wrapped around you. Stepping inside you shut the door, kicking the presents aside.

“I wasn’t sure you’d make it.” She mumbled against your neck.

“I promised you, and I didn’t want to break another promise with you. I’m not going anywhere unless you want me too of course.” 

Natasha kissed you softly letting her fingers run through your hair before pulling away. “I missed you like crazy.”

“I missed you too. You wanna-“

“Yes.” She nodded, kissing you again only for you to break the kiss.

“I was gonna say open your presents, but that sounds amazing.” You chuckled walking over to the sofa, setting her down.

She blushed, nodding as she cleared her throat crossing her legs. You handed her a bouquet of carefully picked out flowers.

“Y/N, these are so beautiful. I love them, thank you.” She bites her lip, blushing a little as she studies the flowers. 

You bring the present to the coffee table sitting next to her as she smells her flowers. 

“You didn’t have to do all this, I just needed you.” She mumbles against your shoulder.

“It’s your birthday, Natalia, it should be celebrated.” You say softly placing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“You’re the sweetest.” She sighs, pecking your lips.

“So why don’t you open your first couple gifts of the day.”

“First couple gifts?” She smiles, biting her lip. “Y/N you really-“

“Stopppp come on.” You say as Leho leaps on the table to see what chaos you brought.

She smirked seeing you look nervous as she opens the first gift only to find a large envelope. Natasha furrows her brows at you before opening it. She gasps as she reads the title of legal documents, and the notary of the republic’s stamp.

“You’re…. Divorced… She actually signed them?”

“She didn’t really have a choice.”

“Oh my God. Y/N how? I thought it was going to take months!?”

“Well I finally listened to you spoke to my parents. With their help and Tony’s I counter sued for everything she did to me. The couples therapist Agatha turned in her notes to the judge which also helped immensely. The Fabrays hate a bad image and caved immediately especially when they knew I could squash them like a bug.”

Natasha tackled you in a hug.

“I promised you it would happen. I promised you, Nat.”

“I know you did.” She nodded, wiping her tears as you brought her in a kiss.

“I wanna be with you.” You say softly.

“You’ve had me Y/N.” She cried, wrapping her arms around you snuggling into your side. “How… How are the kids taking this?”

“Finley doesn’t really understand but she loves you so, I know she won’t be too put off. Beth on the other hand is upset. She doesn’t understand. She probably won’t until she’s older, and that’s okay. She refuses to speak to me right now. The moment we sat her down to discuss the divorce she pushed me out, and said she never wants to see me again.”

“Baby.” Natasha cried holding your hand. “Baby she doesn’t mean it.”

“I know.” You sniffled feeling Natasha wipe your tears. “She loves her mom very much. I can't be the one to tarnish that image. When she cools down I’ll talk to her again.”

“Beth loves you Y/N so much. I know she does, you know she does. You’re right she just needs some time divorce is not easy on a 12 year old. Are they home?”

“Beth is at school and I think Quinn is at her sisters with Fin. She said she didn’t want to see me here.”

“So she knows?”

“Ohhhh yeah she knows I’m with you.” You nod.

“Is she mad? Like burn down my house mad?”

“No actually, just like she’s finally let me go. I think her seeing our old friends really helped knock some sense into her as well. Plus as much as I hate to say it Rachel is kind of helping her move on.”

“So she’s more so upset with herself and her actions?”

“That’s what I got from it in court, but I thought maybe it was a ruse. Anyway, enough about my ex wife and open your next present.”

You handed Natasha a wrapped gift. She looked up, raising her brow looking down at the Christmas themed paper and bow. “You wrapped this?” 

“Of course! I’m a black belt at gift wrapping.” You grinned.

She giggled while opening the gift only to see a Fisherman’s sweater. “Ohhh I love it.” She says holding it up seeing something fall out of the sweater she frowns grabbing it before Leho can get it.

The scenic view of the East coast of Maine

“I thought since you’re taking a break right now maybe you and I can take a road trip all the way to Maine? Or we can just-“

Natasha tackles you in a hug “I love it.” 

“Are you sure? Cause it’s cold and if you’d rather just go somewhere more tropical I can still change it.”

“Nope, I’ve never been upstate. I think that’s a great idea.”

“Alright I guess pack for a week and then get dressed for brunch cause Wanda is currently making you a fabulous brunch for your birthday right about now.”

“Oh my gosh!” Natasha stood up running up the stairs packing for the winter vacation.

You chuckled looking down at Leho “Don’t worry I won’t make you join us in the car ride Yelena is going to stay here and take care of you.” The black cat purred and hopped up on your lap. “Yeah I figured you weren’t the car riding type.”

You stood up making your way up the staircase leaning against Natasha’s doorway when you notice something you thought you lost.

“Is that my hoodie?” You gasped “and my jacket!? I thought I lost them!”

“No, don't look!” Natasha groaned.

“You little thief!” You chuckled.

“They smelled like you.” She smiled, holding them up to her nose. 

You brought her in your arms pecking her lips. “I’ll be sure to rotate them so you always have something that smells like me then.” You lifted it to your nose, closing your eyes and smiled. “Now it smells like you.”

“So sweet.” She muttered before kissing you once more. She turned in your arms as she continued her packing.

You moved her hair to the side and left small kisses from her shoulder to her neck.

“Hmm, I missed you.” She sighed.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” You held her from behind burying your nose in her hair.

“I think I have an idea.” Natasha’s fingers ran through your hair, her body arching into you. 

Nat lifted her phone showing you a video that Mike sent her.

“Dude what are you doing?” Mike giggled using his video to see what you were looking at. “Is that Natasha?”

“Maybe.” You purse your lips coyly slightly drunk. 

“Why are you looking at her picture? You weirdo.” Santana cackled.

“I miss her.” You shrugged.

“Aww!” Kurt frowns, hugging your head. “Me too!”

“Oh my God! You’re such a simp. This is your boo Natasha. Out here cryin’ in da club.” 

You all started cackling before the video came to an end.

“I’m gonna kill him.” You shook your head.

“I thought it was sweet.” She smiled, turning in your arms. You widen your stance so you can be at eye level. “Don’t be embarrassed baby, I'm your woman.”

“My woman, I love the sound of that.” You grin, smooching her lip feeling her hands massage your shoulders.

“Anything else you need to show me or tell me about?” You chuckled.

“No.” She smirked looking away.

“You sure?” 

“I may have also seen you guys sing Don’t Stop Believing and some of your friends dm’ed me that they’re happy for us. That’s all. Again! I thought it was sweet.” The redhead beauty smiled, pecking your lips before smacking your ass and making her way to the bathroom. 

“Hm.” You grunted.

She began grabbing her toiletries in a bag she looked over seeing you laying down feet off the bed. Your arms wrapped around her pillow, eyes closed for a brief moment while she packs. She smiles looking at you she’s wanted you for so long now, and it’s finally happening.

You mentally went through the checklist again. The cooler is packed with snacks and drinks. You have the snow chains on already extra in the back just in case. Your suitcase is packed, the rest of the presents are in the back, blankets, pillows, some extra wood, alcohol and mixers, champagne, some groceries in an extra cooler, and Tony’s keys to his cabin.

You could hear her walking around quietly as she packs up her suitcase when you felt some weight on your legs.

“Okay! I’m ready!” She sang she lifted up on her knees as you flipped over.

“Hmmm okay baby.” You yawned while stretching.

Natasha straddled you and you let your hand lightly rub her thick thighs. She leaned down kissing you softly inhaling you as she broke the kiss.

“We… don’t have any extra time… do we?”

“We…” you looked at your watch. “Do not.” You sigh.

“But it’s my birthday.” She sticks her bottom lip out with a frown dry humping you. “I can be a little late.”

You groan feeling her lips suck on your sweet spot and rub against your other sweet spot.

“You and I both know we’re not gonna wanna go just one round. Besides, I don't really want our first time as a couple to be a quickie.” You chuckle, slapping her ass. “Come on birthday girl. 

She whines getting off of you and you grin standing up taking her bags. 

“What about Leho?” She said sadly while picking up her baby.

“Yelena is going to take care of her and the house.” You muttered the last part.

“Oh God okay just let me write out something real quick, and put the flowers in a vase.”

“Alright I’ll put these in the truck.”

Natasha wrote out a quick message asking her sister to water the plants, the new flowers you just gave her, and what times to feed Leho. She even gave her some money for food just in case.

Natasha walked out seeing a cover over your truck bed. “Since when have you had that?”

“Oh it came with it, I just never had a chance to use it.” You chuckled. “Are those your balloons?” You chuckled.

“I just got them, it's bad enough I have to leave my flowers.”

You grinned walking over taking them from her and walking over to Wanda’s. You knocked and she told you both to come in from the Stark bell. You open the door letting her through first hearing all her friends say “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

“Oh my gosh you guys!” Natasha smiled seeing all of her friends.

Wanda ran over bringing her in a big hug. “Ohhh I love you, happy birthday!” She cooed.

“Happy birthday!” Pietro smiled, giving her a hug as well. “Just so you know my gift is me getting up early to help Wanda.” His older sister smacked him and Natasha laughed. “Hey what’s up Y/N.” He smiled, giving you a hug.

Wanda led you both towards the end of the table giving Natasha a tiara, her breakfast plate and a mimosa.

Breakfast went on and then the gifts began.

“This is from me and Buck. Happy birthday Nat we love you.” Steve smiled with Bucky's arm around him.

“Oh wow thank you guys!” Natasha looks down at the brand new Glock and set of bullets. 

“That’s the new G29 it’s beautiful.” Steve explains.

“Oh my God.” Vis gasps lowly he hates guns. Wanda takes his hand. Natasha closes the case and thanks Steve and Bucky before you take it and safely set it aside.

“Jeez.” You hear Tony mutter as he drinks his mimosa.

“Happy birthday love.” Laura smiles with Clint grinning behind her.

It was a framed photo of Natasha and you with all the kids at the fair. Along with a little Hawaiian statue.

“Thank you Laura.” Natasha smiled showing you the picture. You smiled looking at her. “It’s sweet, I'll make sure to put it up before we leave.”

“Just make sure to keep the statue with you.” Clint cackled.

“Oh Clint.” Laura smacked him.

“What is this?”

“We got it during our trip to Hawaii. It’s a fertility statue.”

“It fucking works.” Clint raised his brows looking at the two of you.

You and Natasha chuckle a bit.

“I’m serious we were having some trouble with Nate and well that little fucker helped. So when you’re ready just make sure he’s around for the action.”

You chuckled turning red scratching the back of your neck.

“Those Hawaiians, dude they know they’re shit.” Clint punched your arm. “I know you’ve got a couple so be sure to wrap it before you tap it from now on it’s like magic.”

“Clint for the love of God.” Laura whined.

Natasha placed the frame and statue in her purse before the next guest came over. You took her hand rubbing circles on her palm.

“You okay?” You ask near her ear.

“I just need to go to the bathroom right quick.” She nods and pecks your hand.

You look at her slightly worried before looking towards Wanda. “I should-“

“Go.” She nods.

You stand and rush upstairs.

“Damn it Clint I told you not to put that in there.” Laura groaned covering her face.

“What? What’s wrong-“

“Nat, can’t have children.” She said in his ear.

“Fuck.” 

You reach the master bath and knock softly. “Baby?”

The door swings open and she pulls you in a kiss.

“Whoa.” You manage to say as she hums in your mouth. “Honey?”

“I need you Y/N.” She husks. “I need you so bad and we don’t have much time.” 

“Nat, I think you might not be dealing with this the right way. Just take a breather-“

“Y/N please.” She whines against your lips, her hands on your belt. “Please baby I need you so badly right now. It won’t take much. I know this isn’t what you had in mind for our first time as a couple to be in Wanda’s bathroom, but please! I need you inside of me.” 

“Talia, my love please just take a second.”

“Love?” Natasha freezes.

“This wasn’t how I was going to tell you.” You squeezed your eyes shut. 

“You love me?” She asks in surprise.

“So much. I’ve been wanting to say those words for a while now.” You chuckle, bringing her against you.

“I’ve longed to hear those words from you.” She whispered.

“I just wanted to wait until it was finally over. Until I had it in writing for you.”

“I know my love.” She whispers, kissing you softly. 

“I hope I was worth the wait.”

“You are always worth it. I love you so much.” She smiles, laying her forehead against yours.

You pull her into a hug just as she begins to cry.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me. I felt so sad and then you came up to take care of me and I’ve just never had that before-“ she started to tear up.

“It’s okay you’re allowed to feels things. Clint hit a sore spot.”

“I missed you so much Y/N.” She sniffled as you wiped away her tears.

“I missed you too, baby. I missed all of you. I missed your laugh, your smile, the way your voice gets gravely when you're sleepy or just woke up, your cooking, your kisses. Your beautiful body. The way I feel when I’m inside of you and the noises I bring out of you. I’m so in love with you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either. Yelena tried making me watch a ton of other shows. Wanda included. I would find myself thinking of you or if you’d call me. Or even text. I was always checking my phone.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out enough.”

“You did better after I told you. We just have to communicate better.”

“We will.” You nod.

“We should go back out there.” She says softly caressing your cheek. 

“Okay.” You stand up from your crouched position and help her off the toilet seat. She fixes your hair and takes the lipstick off your face.

“Lovely.” She nods.

“Stop, you're making me blush.”

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You both come back down and no one makes a comment, they just continue on like nothing happened.

“You okay?” Wanda asks in Russian.

Natasha nods happily. “Oni skazali mne, chto lyubyat menya.” (They told me that they love me.)

“Finally!” Wanda sighed in relief.

Natasha rolled her eyes playfully.

You lean over to Tony when you notice everyone giving you the wink. “So I take it, everyone knows my plan for the cabin?”

“Yup.” Tony nods.

“Got it. So who told?”

“Who do you think?”

You scanned the table. “Scott told Louis?”

“Of course he did.” Tony huffed.

“As long as Nat doesn’t hear about it.”

“She won’t, don’t worry. You got the papers?”

“Yup showed Nat before coming over here.”

“Pepper, give you the keys?”

“Yes sir.”

“Alright.” Tony chuckled. “Don’t be nervous. You got this kid.”

You nodded with a grin before looking over at Natasha who looked down at her gift. It was an ant farm that Scott gave her. 

“I said grab an Aunty Anne’s gift card because she loves they’re pretzels. Why would she want an ant farm Scott?”

“I don’t know why would she want a gift card to Aunty Anne’s?” He huffed. “Besides, ants are way cooler!”

“It’s okay, this is pretty cool, thank you.” Natasha smiled nodding she’ll just give it to Finley.

“Hey Scott.” You smiled right before nut punching him.

“Oh fuck.” Scott gasped nearly toppling to the floor.

“Y/N?!” Natasha scolded you.

“It’s just this game we play at work. Right Scotty? This game about not telling Louis certain things.”

“Yup.” He smiled through the pain waving Natasha off. Steve and Bucky cringed.

“Kind of what he gets; what a big mouth.” Bucky muttered.

“I fucking told you not to tell Louis.” Hope whispered harshly.

“I know.” He gasped as she helped him over to his chair.

“I’ll get you some ice.” Vis nods standing up.

“Thank you.” Scott groaned.

Natasha glared at you once more and you shrugged it off. “He lost the game. I don't know what to tell ya.”

“That was hilarious.” Clint chuckled while getting another mimosa as Thor fell out of his chair laughing. 

“You know you deserved that shit right?.” Val snickered looking at Scott.

“Come on babe get up.” Jane said to Thor who had tears in his eyes from laughter.

“Happy birthday Natasha!” They said together, handing her a tiny gift bag. Thor was still snickering to himself.

“Oh thank you so much!” It was a gift card to Lululemon. 

Soon Val and Carol were up.

“I would say happy birthday but I think this one is a little more for my mate Y/N over here.” Val snickered, winking at you and Carol rolled her eyes.

Natasha ripped open the paper and the white box to find a set of sexy lingerie. The redhead opted out of showing everyone and kept it in the box she didn’t even show you instead she thanked them with a hint of blush on her cheeks. Carol leaned down and whispered in her ear. You wondered what it was because her eyes widened and Carol giggled before taking Val’s hand and taking their seats.

“You alright?” You asked.

“Hmhm.” She nodded, taking a gulp of her drink.

“For Pepper and Tony’s gift they’re letting us stay in their Cabin.” 

“Oh thank you.” Natasha said towards Pepper and Tony.

“Of course but we also got you this.” Pepper handed Natasha a bottle of wine. “It’s one of my all time favorites. I think you’ll like it.”

“It also gets her going if you know what I mean.” Tony mutters lowly toward you.

You chuckled while taking a sip of your drink. 

Soon it’s nearly 2 pm and now you’re way off schedule.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Wanda says softly as you help her clean up.

“Do not apologize Wands. It’s okay, seriously we can make a pit stop at a hotel. It's not that bad plus I wanted us to take our time getting up to Maine.”

“Still you had the whole day planned.” She said sadly.

“The plan can still go on tomorrow.” You smile.

“Okay I am ready.” Natasha smiled lazily, still a bit buzzed from all the mimosas.

“Go on. I’ve got it from here.”

You grab the presents and Natasha insists on giving the ant farm to Finley so you leave it on the front door with a note and leave the framed photo of the fair in Nat’s home before she says farewell to Yelena.

“Happy birthday Cestra.” She smiles at her drunk sister then at you before handing her a little gift.

“What’s this?” Natasha frowns seeing a check.

“I wanna help pay you back for the clock tower.”

“Lena-“

“No buts plus I figured maybe it’ll help bring our parents back from Russian? I know you had to use that money to send me to school and bring me here and fix the tower so… yeah.”

“Aww.” Natasha cried, bringing Yelena in a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go.” Yelena wipes her eyes smiling at you. “Take care of my sister. She’s precious cargo.”

“With my life.” You smile helping Natasha walk to the truck. “You wanna lay down in the back? I can make a bed.”

“Not unless you’re gonna lay down with me.” Natasha mumbles hopping in the truck.

You chuckle before shutting the door and getting in the driver's seat. You both wave to Yelena before driving away.

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When you’re finally out of New York Natasha notices how beautiful the mountains look.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“It is really cold, but smell the air.” You slow down a bit and roll down the window.

She breathes the air in smiling as she closes her eyes. “Wow, it smells so good!” . 

You slow down pulling over seeing a maple candy stand.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a maple candy stand. I’m gonna get you some wanna stay in the truck?”

“No!” She hops out and watches you buy some candy as she picks up a red leaf and breathes in the mountain air.

Along the road she asks if you can stop at certain places and of course you oblige by getting her little trinkets and taking random photos.

You both eat snacks from the cooler and sing along to every song she wants to hear occasionally listening to a podcast. You finally stop when it gets too dark somewhere in Vermont. You stop by a diner.

“This place is so cute.” Natasha smiles seeing how retro everything looks.

“Well hello sweethearts my name is Eve what can I getcha?” An older woman walks up with a big smile.

“We will take the lovers lane.” Natasha orders off the menu.

“Okay! I haven’t seen yall out here before where ya from?” 

“New York, it’s her birthday we figured we make a road trip out of it and go up state.”

“Oh well that’s fun, welcome to town! I’ll tell ya what I’ll bring you a slice of pie on the house!”

“Thank you Eve!” Natasha smiled.

You dug into your pockets looking for change.

“What are you doing?” Natasha smirked.

“I’m looking for quarters.” You grinned nodding towards the mini jukebox.

The redhead grabbed her purse taking out .50cents. “Here.”

“You pick it’s the fun part.” You grinned, pushing her hand away.

Natasha smiled and put the change in before choosing an oldie.

“Great choice.” You grinned hearing the doo-wop in the beginning.

“My love must be a kind of blind love. I can’t see anyone but you.” She smiled lovingly at you as you blushed.

‘(Sha bop sha bop)

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Dance with me?”

‘(Sha bop sha bop)

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Here?” 

‘(Sha bop sha bop)’

“Right here.” You stand up offering your hand which she happily accepts.

‘Are the stars out tonight (sha bop sha bop)’

You bring her close swaying in the diner.

‘I don't know if it's cloudy or bright (sha bop sha bop)

I only have eyes for you dear’

“I love you.” Natasha says softly caressing your cheek.

(Sha bop sha bop)

“I love you too.” You say looking down into her eyes.

‘The moon may be high

(Sha bop sha bop)’

There’s only one other patron in the diner and they can’t help but smile seeing the two of you dancing.

‘But I can't see (sha bop sha bop) a thing in the sky

I only have eyes for you’

“Eve, put their dinner on my tab.” The patron smiled.

‘I don't know if we're in a garden

Or on a crowded avenue

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“They do look so in love don’t they?” Eve smiled watching you and Natasha sway to the music.

‘You are here

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“I don’t ever wanna stop this train with you.” She whispers.

‘And so am I

(Sha bop sha bop)’

“I don’t ever plan on stoppin’.” You lean down pecking her lips gently.

‘Maybe millions of people (sha bop sha bop) go by

But they all disappear from view

And I only have eyes for you’

You both take your seats just as the food came out.

“This looks amazing.” You grin.

“Here baby you pick the next song while we eat.” Natasha hands you a couple quarters.

“Welllllllll…You know you make me wanna shout! Kick my heels up and shout!”

“So good.” You both said as you ate your burgers. “Might have to come back just for this.”

“I know!” She chuckled.

You both ate and laughed as you spoke about your days apart. 

“What made you wanna do this?” She asked, drinking her milk shake.

“Well we were hungry-“

“I meant this trip. Smartass.” Natasha smirked.

“I just felt like we’ve been apart for a long time and wanted to make up for it.” You explain with a light shrug.

Just as Eve promised, a slice of Pie arrived and you both somehow managed to eat every piece of it.

“Thank you so much Eve, this dinner was so good we might just have to make the trek back out just for your food.” Natasha smiled.

“Please do!” Eve laughed.

“Where do I pay Ms. Eve.”

“Actually the gentleman that was in here paid for your meal. He just said he was heartwarmed to see how in love you both are. Made him remember his wife.”

“Oh well now I feel terrible for not being able to thank him.” You pout.

“Don’t be he just wanted to do something nice for you both.”

“Well please tell him we said thank you.” Natasha smiled warmly.

“Of course!” Eve smiled picking up the plates that you stacked at the end of the table.

You left a hefty tip before getting back in the truck and heading towards the hotel.

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“Oh no I’m so sorry I thought we had two beds when we spoke on the phone but it turns out that room is being remodeled. We only have one room left with one king bed.” The front desk girl frowned.

“Oh just the one huh?” You clear your throat, shuffling your feet. You knew if you took that room keeping your hands to yourself would seem difficult.

“You’re absolutely sure there’s only one left.” You ask once more.

The front desk girl sighed and said. “If you don’t want the room-“

“We’ll take it.” Natasha huffed, rolling her eyes at you. “Y/N, if you don’t want to share a bed with me-“ 

“I’m sorry it’s not that at all, not even a little bit you know that.” You bite your lip seeing her nod at you. Natasha took the key. “It’s just- I don’t want you to think just cause I did all this means you have to put out. That’s all. I just want you to be comfortable.”

Natasha smiles softly and pecks your lips. “You’re sweet, and I’m making you start to overthink things because of how I’ve been acting and I’m sorry.”

“Nat, no apologizing. This is new for us… I’ve never been with another woman besides Quinn, and you’ve never been with someone like me. We just need to get in the groove again… I’m gonna park the truck you go on ahead and I’ll bring up our things.”

She nodded before walking off. Natasha kept telling herself to stop over thinking as well you both fell for one another as friends. The only things that’s changed is now there’s nothing holding you both back. You’re both free to be together.

You tiredly made your way to the room. Walking in only to hear the shower running. You quickly change when you hear the water stop. She walks out right as you switch shirts.

Natasha gulped, gripping the door handle.

“Hey.” You smile trying not to blush at the fact that she’s only in a towel.

“Hi.” She smiles a tint of blush across her dewy cheeks. “I forgot you were bringing up the suitcases and got ahead of myself. Can I borrow something to sleep in?”

“I got you.” You grinned getting off the bed. You rummaged through your suitcase finding an extra set of boxers and an old football t-shirt. You walked them over handing them to her.

“Thanks.” She whispers, looking at you. 

“Oh! Sorry.” You chuckled turning around.

She smiled as you turned towards the wall. That’s not why she was staring. She was staring because all she had on was a towel and all she wanted to do was drop it. Just to have you worship her body, but she can tell you’re exhausted. Mentally and physically you just need to rest. Natasha knows damn well if she ignites that fire in you it won’t be put out until it’s time for you both to leave the hotel. She shook her thoughts before dropping the towel not missing the way it made you squirm. 

She inhaled the fresh scent of your boxers and t-shirt. 

“Don’t worry I just washed them before we left.” You chuckled, rubbing your neck. Desperately trying not to look at her through the small reflection on the lamp.

“I’d hope so.” She teased you. “You can turn around now.” She let the shirt fall on her just as you turned around. You gulped seeing the bottom of her breasts and the small freckle on her rib cage.

She climbs into bed laying next to you when she turns on her side. “Thank you for today. Best birthday ever.” She smiled dreamily before leaning over kissing your cheek softly.

“Yeah?” You goofily grin before yawning. You could already feel your exhaustion take over your body as your girl played with your hair.

“Hmhm, you got your divorce, gave me breakfast with all my friends at Wanda’s. You told me you love me. Then we spent the day driving through the mountains. It’s been amazing.” She giggled. “I’ve never had anyone do anything like this for me before, thank you Detka.”

“I didn’t even get to give you the rest of your presents.” You said sleepily trying to sit up only for her to stop you.

“You can give them to me when we’re at the cabin.”

“You sure?” You asked halfway asleep.

“Yes.” She smiles. “Don’t worry about them right now. Everything is perfect today was perfect. You’re perfect.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I love you Talia.” You closed your eyes snuggling into your pillow feeling the way her nails grazed your skin and hair as you drifted off to sleep.

“I love you too baby.”

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You wake to the sound of your phone alarm clicking on. The soft strums of Creature Fear by Bon Iver in the air. You hum out feeling warmth against your chest and feeling the sun shine on your face. Slightly upset that you forgot to close the curtain, but the view of the mountains is just too beautiful to stay cranky. You start to realize you’re spooning Natasha and your cock is rock hard as it always is first thing in the morning. Your cock was throbbing feeling the heat from Natasha’s body. 

You slowly lift your head looking down at your entwined legs. You briefly wonder how and when this happened throughout the night. Then you wonder if you can untangle yourself without waking her so you can shower. You look down at your arms. One is under her and the pillow with half her hand in yours and the other arm was wrapped around her with her arm laid over yours and fingers threaded through yours. You tangled yourselves throughout the night.

Her head turned slowly, her eyes wide open. She must have been awake for some time. It’s silent and you’re just admiring her underneath the morning sun. She was breathtaking. You felt like you forgot how to breathe just by looking into her eyes. Natasha was the first to wiggle her fingers bringing your attention to your hands. You stretched your fingers locking them in with hers before looking back into her emerald eyes. She looked down at your covered cock poking her right where she wanted it. You felt the air leave your lungs when she pushed her ass against your throbbing cock. 

The moment her hooded eyes looked from your hardened member to you. Almost in an instant you forgot about everything and all you saw and all you wanted was her. Like a silent agreement you both threw caution to the wind. Letting your lips meet in a passionate kiss. Breathing one another in deeply before your hands let go of hers. You needed to feel her everywhere. You cupped her face inhaling her before letting one hand roam down her back towards her ass and the other threaded through her soft auburn hair. 

She moaned, feeling you squeeze her ass. Her hands were hooked under your arms. Fingernails grazing your back. You stopped for a second letting her take off your shirt. You moaned, feeling her lips against your chest. Kissing somehow tenderly and with haste. You briefly stop her so you can take her shirt off her immaculate body.

“What?” she giggled seeing your jaw slack.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful, but you know I know you’re so much more than that… right?” 

She smiled softly, caressing your cheek. “I know.” She pushed you back getting off the bed before turning towards you. You moved to the edge letting your feet hit the cold carpet of the hotel. You hook your arms around her waist looking up at her as your fingers toe the edge of waistline. The Russian woman bit her lip nodding as you pushed the boxer shorts down.

You lay your head against her abdomen, softly kissing her as you inhale her sweet scent. Before your lips could kiss any further down she stopped you. 

“Your turn.” She smirked her nails scraping against your shoulders.

You were brought back to your throbbing dick you grimaced standing up.

“You’ve been hard for over an hour now. I’m assuming you’re in pain?” Her brow kinked.

“Just sensitive.” You hissed, letting it flop out of the hole of your boxers. “You’ve been up for an hour now?”

She licked her lips staring at your long thick bulging cock. She sat you down kissing you gently before getting on her knees. “Yes and you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

“You don’t have-“ you cleared your throat.

“I want to… don’t you want my mouth?” She husked; hand now holding your meat.

“God yes.” You whined caressing her jaw.

She smirked before focusing on your shaft. She let her lips kiss the head before letting her tongue swirl around causing you to twitch and shudder. You let one hand hold her hair, just as she brought all of you in her mouth, her tongue and mouth sucking you like it’s the last time she’ll have you. Her hands leave your cock and lay against your flexing abs; her nails grazing down. “Oh my G-“ you inhale. 

“Fuck.” You sighed watching her bobb, her head eyes fixed on yours. “Deeper.” You whispered, you could feel her tonsils on your cock as she obeyed. Her hands on your thighs before letting you go with a pop, and moving down to your balls.

“Natasha.” You husked feeling your toes curl. You gently stopped her before pulling her on your lap quickly switching positions to lay her down. You watched as she lifted her body up by her elbows as you got on your knees gently spreading her legs apart. You smirked before letting your tongue dive into her.

“Ohhh” she whimpered and moaned. 

“Fuck me, you’re drenched.” You let two of your fingers dip in before showing her the wetness. “So sexy.” You whispered before putting her wetness on your cock and pumping the throbbing shaft. As you pumped you dove back in moaning at her taste. “You taste so good, Talia.”

“Shit Y/N I’m already so close.” She whined.

You quickened your tongue's pace and let go of your throbbing member to let a couple digits enter her. Her hips bucked as you moved your fingers. You listened to her as if breaking open a safe. Listening for any indication of her spot. 

A loud guttural moan came when you did. You smirked going faster as her moans grew louder and her body unable to lay still. She gripped your hand and head before humping into your face, shaking as she came undone.

You stood wiping your mouth before sucking on your fingers. She closed her thighs at the sight needing some friction.

She sat up and gasped at the soaked edge of the bed. You smiled before lifting her up onto you kissing her with want.

“Hmm.” She moaned in the kiss before opening her eyes looking down at you. She reached below her, taking you in her hand guiding you to the place you both have been aching for.

“Oh my God.” You sighed laying your forehead against hers. Feeling the tip of your member enter her.

You both moaned as she slid down your shaft.

“Fuck.” You felt your grip loosen before lifting her back up moaning at the movement. You froze seeing her grimace.

“What’s wrong, should I stop?” You asked, worried you hurt her.

She kissed your worries away wiping your brow lines

“You’re just… really big… I’m just adjusting.” She blushed. You pulled out causing her to whimper. 

“Standing up needs some work. Okay.” You make a note of it as you gently lay her down before following suit. She spread her legs for you to lay between. She moaned at the touch of your tongue against her lips. 

“I need you inside me baby.” She husked in your ear, breaking the kiss.

You both looked down as you took your cock rubbing it between her folds. Gathering all the wetness before slowly entering her.

“Sooooo tight.” You whispered, feeling her velvet walls clamping down around you. You stayed still letting her adjust to your girth and length and enjoying the way her warmth feels. “Gah damn I will never get tired of you baby!” You smiled leaning down to kiss her.

“I’m gonna have to remember pelvic floor exercises.” She giggled as she brushed your hair back. 

“I’m madly in love with you.” You smiled Natasha brought you down kissing you as she whimpered as her hips bucked into you giving you the go ahead. You slowly pumped in and out. 

“Oh my God!” She moaned out as your lips left hers to nibble on her sweet spot.

“That’s it baby you’re doing so well.” You groaned out as you continued your rhythm as she whimpered beneath you. Your eyes fluttered closed as you paused your motions pushing in deeper. 

“Oooh that feels so good Y/N.” Natasha wiggling her pelvis against you.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been this deep inside of you like this.” You groaned, placing a hand on the headboard driving your pace faster.

“I know baby I don't even think I can hold on for much longer.” She gasps, clawing at your back bringing you down against her. “God I love you so much!”

You’re both moaning as you move together. Your teeth clashing in your kisses. You’re both breathing one another in as you cum around one another.

“Fuck baby.” She gasps. “Oh daddddy.” 

“Oh Natasha! Fuuuck!” You groan, spilling your seed deep inside of her. “Ohhh yeah look at that baby.” You say lathering your thick honey along her glistening pussy.

You both pant when the phone rings it’s time to check out and your alarm with Bon Iver starts over again after its snooze.

“How long do we have?” She asks, kissing your back.

“A couple hours.”

“Then come back to me.” She smirks.

You grin, rubbing her arm around your chest that begins to make its way to your meat.

“Hmm.” You groan feeling her pumping you as she nibbles your ear. “The faster we’re out of here the faster I can have you in that cabin, and really take my time with you.” 

“How long is the drive?” She asks, kissing your shoulders.

“About 4 more hours.” You cringed, seeing her look at you with her brows furrowed.

“Yeah no you’re making love to me one more time. Really Y/N 4 hours?!”

“I’m sorry.” You say feeling her pull you to the shower. You shove your underwear down before stepping in.

“Multitasking at its finest baby.” She smirked, kissing you as the warm water fell over you.

“Hmm, I hope you know the moment we step foot in that cabin and I’ve got all our shit inside-“

“What? The pussy monster is coming out?”

“Who?” You furrowed your brows and she giggled kissing you under the water.

“Well I hope the pussy monster does come out.” She mutters against your lips, feeling you smirk and your cock stand at attention.

You lift her up and against the wall and you slide in.

“Who says the pussy monster isn’t here right now?” You say in a voice so gravely and low that makes her drip around your thick cock. You choke her as you begin to roughly hump inside of her sliding her ups down against the cold tile wall.

“Ohhhh fuckkkkk!” She moans, hooking her hands behind your neck.

“That’s it baby girl.” You say.

“Fuuuuuckkk!” She whines feeling you hit her center.

“You like that, my naughty girl?”

“So much!” She gasps.

“You love it when the pussy monster comes out.”

“So much daddy so much.” 

“You’re my cum slut aren’t you? You like it when I cum deep inside of you.” You roughly grab her jaw.

“Oh my gosh yesss so much I love the way it feels, and the way you lather it all over my pussy when I cum on your cock daddy.”

“Me too baby.”

“I also love it when you cum on my tongue you taste so good.”

“Fuck.” You groan, feeling yourself cuming.

“Oh my gosh baby you feel so good inside me.” She cries as pivot your hips letting her walls clamp around you and juicing your cock.

“Shit Talia.” You both look down seeing you pull out and your creams landing on your cock on for you to lather it on her pussy and push inside of her once more. “Give me another baby girl. I’m still so hard for you.” You say lowly near her ear.

“Fuck.” She whimpers and nods before tapping you to let her down. You gently set her down and watch her spin around against the tile. You take hold of her hips and begin watching your cock disappear over and over again.

“Your ass is so fucking amazing. This pussy is velvet baby don’t get me wrong but when can this monster cock try that little ass hole?” You husk near her ear.

“When you let me try your little ass hole.” She smirks looking back at you before handing you the soap bar and a scrub.

“Touché.” You stroke inside of her as you sud her body up. It feels even better when you bring your bodies together. “Fuck I’m close!” You growl near her ear.

“Cum then daddy.” She bites your lip and your fucking her so hard and fast your skin is slapping against one another echoing in the shower. You wrap your arms around her, and lift her up causing her to yelp as you cum inside of her. “Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!” You groan emptying your load before setting her back down. You pull out and push back in letting her cum around you and gently letting her ride out her orgasm.

“Shit.” You pant feeling your cock slip out and watching your creams go down the drain.

She smiles, hooking her arm around you, kissing you languishly.

“How’d we get in here?” You asked, looking around causing her to giggle and kiss you once more.

“Shut up and wash my hair.” 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you. Yesterday, what did Carol whisper in your ear?”

Natasha turned smirking up at you as you washed her hair.

“Well first she said she and Val came over one day and heard us going at it. She also mentioned that I need to really work my hips.”

“They saw us?”

“Hmhm.”

“I really need to learn how to close the fucking blinds.” 

A/N: still cutting up chapters in parts because of how long they are.

Don’t forget to Reblog, comment, and like 🥰

[kaleldobrev]

Getting Back into the Swing of Things (1) — The 15 Year Problem Series

Pairing: MOC!Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Feat. Character(s): Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester & Unnamed Hunter Boyfriend (OC)

Series Summary: Needing help on a poltergeist case, you ask fellow hunter Sam Winchester for help. Despite having a broken arm, Sam agrees to help you. But, just as he’s about to head out and meet you, Dean tells him that he’ll take his place and help instead.

Chapter Word Count: 2.2k

Chapter Warnings: Cursing (4x), Age Gap (15 years) & Minor controlling behavior

Authors Note: A prequel series to the Old Man Universe (OMU) on how Dean and reader met | Takes place a few days after Dean is cured from being a demon in 2016 (please read this post for reasonings why it’s 2016, not 2014) | Don't worry, as Dean and reader meet in the next chapter! | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

⋆ The 15 Year Problem Masterlist ⋆

⇠ Go Back & Read the Prologue

Dean tossed and turned, still unable to fall asleep despite what seemed like hours trying. He smelled blood in his nose, felt it on his lips and tongue; smiling with pure bliss. He could feel his hand gripping the First Blade, and he could hear the heart beats of people fading fast as he looked into their eyes. His throat felt dry all of a sudden. “Fuck,” he mumbled to himself.

Removing the covers from himself, he swung his body, his feet flat on the floor as he rubbed his face. Letting out a huge sigh of frustration, he got up from his bed and made his way to his bedroom door; deciding that maybe a few drinks could make him get a bit sleepy. But he knew deep down that wasn’t going to work — he just needed an excuse to get up and walk around.

As Dean started making his way toward the kitchen, he noticed that Sammy’s door was open halfway, the light of the room still on. A puzzled look appeared on Dean’s face, surprised that Sam was still up. He figured after curing him, he would be knocked out for the next couple of days, or at least taking it easy.

He heard drawers opening and closing, not remotely quietly. Standing in the doorway, he saw Sam packing some clothes into a duffel bag, slightly struggling as he did so, as he was down an arm. “Heading out somewhere?” Dean asked, after knocking on the doorway.

Sam looked up, barely smiling. He looked almost half asleep. “Uh yeah. A hunter friend of mine asked me to help her with a poltergeist case. Should be only a few days.”

“A poltergeist case uh?” Dean questioned, intrigued. “Where at?” He scratched the back of his head as he walked into Sam’s bedroom, trying his best not to sound too excited about the case.

“Tulsa. It’s about a five and a half hour drive from here, and I promised Y/N I’d meet her at the motel in town,” Sam said, zippering up his duffel.

“You sure you’re good to go Sammy? I mean, your arm is still broken,” Dean said, pointing at his arm. “Why don’t I go instead? I could use a nice and easy case to get my sea legs back.”

Sam looked at his brother with a bit of hesitancy. “I don’t know Dean…” his voice trailed off. Even though Sam had talked to you about Dean, he wasn’t sure how you would react to Dean showing up instead of him. Based on the short amount of time he had known you, he feels that you and Dean would get along really well as your hunting styles were scarily similar at times, and your personalities rivaled each other. But yet, you didn’t know Dean, and he knew you’d rather hunt alone than hunt with someone you didn’t know.

“Sammy, your arm is broken. No offense, but how much help are you really going to be to her? She might as well just do it by herself,” Dean said, and Sam knew that his brother had a point. He was right, as much as he hated to admit it.

Sam sighed, almost defeated. “Alright, alright. You’re…you’re right,” he said, slightly swinging his casted arm. “Just let me give her a heads up first okay?”

You looked out straight in front of you as only darkness could be seen for miles and miles. Your hands had a tight grip on the wheel to the point that your knuckles were almost pale and white. The loudness of your windshield wipers drowned out what you were currently listening to — The Clash.

There was no traffic, no cars— just you, the rain, and the complete darkness except for your headlights. You sighed, thinking about your boyfriend, how conflicted you felt about the whole thing. On one end, you were tired of the bullshit and were ready to call it quits with him. Why be with someone who makes you miserable? You heard your mom’s words echoing in your brain, so loud as if she was sitting right next to you. On the other end, you wanted to give him another chance as people who understood the hunting life was few and far between.

You didn’t necessarily want to be alone, but it was something that started to look more and more appealing. You were 22, still young and had time to find someone. But who? Another hunter? A civilian maybe? No, no civilians, you thought. Too risky. You needed someone that knew the life.

As if snapping you out of your current thought, your phone started ringing, the buzz of it slightly vibrating your seat. Since there were no cars on the road, you pulled off to the side, and answered the phone. "Hey Sammy," you said, "where are you?"

"Hey Y/N, I'm uh...still back at the Bunker," his voice sounded so tired and defeated.

You raised a brow in confusion. "What do you mean you're still back at the Bunker? You're not coming to help me?" You would be lying if you weren't disappointed. Although you had only known Sam for a short amount of time, he was someone that you genuinely enjoyed hunting with; not only because he was a legendary Winchester, but because he treated you like his equal, despite your age.

"Remember when Cas helped me on a case a while back and I ended up breaking my arm?" He said, and you nodded, even though you knew he wasn't able to hear you. But he took your lack of an answer to continue speaking. "Well, it's still broken. And I didn't want to say no when you called for help because you were such a big help to Cas and me, especially me, when Dean were gone."

You didn't want to give the impression that you were disappointed, even though you were. But you understood where Sam was coming from; and the last thing you wanted to do was force him to drive all the way to Tulsa just to sit in the motel room. "I really appreciate you saying yes, even though you're kind of out of commission. It...it really means a lot."

"Listen, I know you can pretty much solve this case in your sleep but..." he paused, sighing, almost as if he was afraid to say the next few words. "Dean offered to help you."

You were completely silent, which was a rarity for you. It wasn't like you didn't appreciate the help, but you were iffy about it as you didn't really like working with people that you weren't really familiar with. Yes, you've heard countless stories from Sam about his brother, and knew he was a good hunter; but the thing that scared you was, when it came down to it, would he just leave you for dead to save himself?

"I know you don't usually work with people you aren't really familiar with but," he sighed again, and you knew if he was in front of you right now, the puppy dog eyes would be in full force. "He's a great hunter, Y/N, and he wouldn't let anything happen to you. If something bad happened to you, he would never be able to forgive himself."

How could you possibly say no when Sam was practically telling you how good of a person his brother was? "Sam —"

"You'd be doing me a big favor, Y/N. I think this case would really help him get back into the swing of things," Sam said. Now you definitely couldn't say no.

You took a deep breath, sighing. "Okay," you said simply, giving in to Sam’s plead.

"Thanks Y/N, seriously," his tone sounding a bit happier now that you agreed. "I already gave him the address to the motel we agreed to meet at. He should hopefully be there right around the same time as you are."

"But you guys are almost six hours away," you stated with a raised brow. "Is he teleporting there?"

Sam chuckled at your comment. "No, no. He uh...he's a bit of a speed demon," Kind of like you, he wanted to add.

"Ah, so like me," you said. Sam couldn't help but smile at the comment, finding it funny that you had thought the exact same thing as he had. "Alright. Um, does he need my phone number or?"

"I kind of...already...gave it to him...sorry..." his words trailed off, almost embarrassed, like you had caught him red handed. You sighed, slightly annoyed. You didn't like when others gave out your phone number without asking you first, but then again, your boyfriend — which was soon to be your ex — was something he did quite often behind your back.

"He still driving the impala?" You asked, but before Sam could answer you, you continued with your thought, answering your own question. "Never mind, that was a stupid question," you slightly chuckled to yourself. "Of course he's still driving the impala."

Dean held the steering wheel tightly in his hands, loving the feeling of the leather at his fingertips. It had been far too long since he'd driven Baby, and it was one of the things that he truly missed while he was gone. "It's just a car Sam," his words rang out; and those words gutted him, because Baby wasn't just a car: she was home.

As he drove, his music was low, not loud like he usually preferred it, as he was currently admiring the simplicity of his surroundings. The rain hitting the windshield and being quickly wiped away, the darkness of the road that was only lit up by Baby's headlights. He felt comfortable and at ease; something driving always helped him to feel. He felt at home right now.

You didn't really know what to feel right now as you were debating back and forth on how your first meeting with the infamous Dean Winchester was going to go. According to Sam, the two of you would get along great, as he's made comments along the lines of, "You sometimes scarily remind me of Dean," which you weren't sure if you should take as a compliment or not.

Some of the stories Sam had told you about Dean impressed you, but then there were some where you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the stupidity. With some stories, you wondered how he wasn't dead already, then again, both Winchester's have died and came back countless times as death didn't seem to stick. You couldn't help but wonder what made them so special. Maybe they are God's favorites, you thought; and you couldn't help but chuckle.

Pulling into the motel parking lot, you let out a small laugh, seeing Dean's impala already in the parking lot. He really is a speed demon, you thought. Wonder what time he got here? You wondered.

As soon as you parked your vehicle, your phone began buzzing, and you looked at the name on the caller ID. Your blood started boiling seeing your boyfriend's name. "You have to be fucking kidding me," you mumbled to yourself.

At first, you were going to ignore the call, as maybe he would think you were still driving. But there was no way you would be able to give that illusion as there was no traffic on the road when you left because of the time. With gritted teeth, you answered the call, trying your absolute best to remain calm. "Hey," was all you said.

"You get to the motel yet?" He asked, his tone implying that he already had that knowledge somehow.

"I just pulled in," your answers were short, as you were still mad at him from before. Although driving was one of the things that calmed you down and made you feel at peace, for some reason, this argument in particular really made you angry.

"You said you would call me when you got to the motel," he sounded mildly annoyed, but disappointed at the same time.

You rolled your eyes. "Fucking hell," you mouthed. "I just pulled in. You didn't give me enough time to even call or text you." You took a deep breath, feeling yourself getting ready to boil over. "This is me telling you that I have reached the motel and may not be able to talk to you over the next couple of days, okay?" You weren't asking him; you were telling him; trying to make it clear that you couldn't talk to him. Of course you would be able to, but you didn't want to, as this case was a way for you to get the edge off. It was a way to kill something without killing him.

"I love you," he said, and for some reason him saying those three little words surprised you. He rarely said them to you, even though it was something that you had said to him regularly. The only times he ever seemed to say those three little words to you was during or after sex, or when the two of you had gotten into a rather nasty argument.

You didn't want to say it back to him, as love was the very last thing you felt for him in this moment. But you almost felt like you needed to, so he wouldn't feel like anything was wrong between the two of you. Then again, you didn't want to gaslight him the same way he always seemed to gaslight you. "I'll see you in a few days," was how you decided to answer, as those were the most genuine words you felt you could say to him.

⤑ Move Forward & Read Chapter 2

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[leaderwon]

CHAPTER 15 — QUIET CORNERS AND LOADED CONVERSATIONS.

wc — 800+

prev — masterlist — next

The party didn’t slow down, but your thoughts did. And not in a good way. That one look from Jay hadn’t left your mind. It was probably nothing. A joke. A throwaway glance meant to stir the pot, because that’s what Jay did. He lived for chaos. Thrived in confusion. But there was something in his eyes that didn’t feel casual. Something too intentional to ignore. You didn’t want to care. But you did.

You wandered toward the kitchen, needing air or ice water or maybe just a quiet second to pull yourself together. The lights were dimmer here, the music muffled by the walls, and the press of bodies slightly less suffocating. You were halfway through filling your cup when someone leaned against the counter beside you.

Jay. Of course it was him.

“Didn’t think you’d actually play,” he said, voice low, teasing, familiar in a way that made your chest tighten.

“You dared me to once,” you replied coolly, trying to match his nonchalance. “Figured I’d commit to the bit.”

He chuckled softly. “You really committed. Jake’s still recovering.”

You glanced sideways at him. “And what about you?” Jay tilted his head slightly. “What about me?” “That truth you dropped." His smirk deepened like he’d been waiting for you to bring it up. “Ah. That.”

“Was it a joke?” “Do you want it to be?”

The question caught you off guard, your stomach flipping instantly. You hated how he did that—how he could throw out lines that sounded casual but felt like landmines. You wanted to laugh, say yes, brush it off like you always did. But your voice betrayed you.

“I don’t know.”

Jay studied you for a second longer than necessary. “Then maybe it wasn’t a joke.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. The silence between you stretched, not quite awkward, not quite comfortable either. It had weight. Tension. Something unsaid pulling at both of you.

And then, as if the universe had perfect comedic timing, Sunghoon appeared at the doorway.

His expression was unreadable, but his eyes flicked from you to Jay and back again with unnerving precision. Something inside your chest clenched, a pressure you couldn’t name.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, though he didn’t take his eyes off Jay.

Jay didn’t move, didn’t blink. The air between them charged instantly.

You glanced between the two of them. “I was just—” “Talking,” Sunghoon finished for you, jaw visibly tight. Jay raised an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?” “Not at all,” Sunghoon said, voice colder than before. “Unless she wants it to be.”

You instinctively stepped back, your cup forgotten on the counter behind you. “I should go find Lia.”

But before you could move too far, Jay’s hand brushed your arm lightly. Not in a way that stopped you — just a gentle touch. A quiet reminder that he was still right there. “You alright?” he asked, tone softer now, less smug, more genuine. You nodded, even though your pulse was pounding. “Always.”

And then you turned and walked away, not waiting for more, not trusting yourself to stay standing between them for even another second. The tension clung to your skin like humidity, trailing after you even as you pushed through the crowd and out of the kitchen.

Later, you found Stella and Mia out on the balcony, laughing over something you didn’t quite catch. You slipped into the conversation without much effort, smiling when it felt appropriate, nodding at all the right moments. But your head wasn’t there at all.

It was back in the kitchen. Back in the way Jay’s voice had dropped when he said maybe it wasn’t a joke. Back in the way Sunghoon had looked at him, like he was on the edge of something sharp. And somewhere in the middle of that chaos, you found yourself thinking about Jake too — how still he had gone when you sat in his lap, how his hand had trembled slightly, even though he tried to hide it behind that easy smile.

None of them were saying what they meant. Not really. And maybe you weren’t either.

By the time you finally made it home, you were exhausted. Shoes off. Makeup half smudged. Hair smelling like bonfire and tequila. The party might have ended, but something in your chest still buzzed like it hadn’t.

Your phone lit up with a message.

[Jake]: You looked good tonight.

You stared at it for a full minute, the words sitting heavy in your palm. Then another notification popped up.

[Jay]: Still thinking about that game? Because I am.

You sighed, thumb hovering over your screen. And just as you were about to toss your phone face down on the bed, one more message appeared.

[Sunghoon]: Can we talk? Just you and me. No games.

Your heart dropped.

Because maybe the game hadn’t ended at all. Maybe it had only just begun.

© @leaderwon 2025. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[x0cup1dluv]

SHADOW OF DESIRE

Mafia!jungkook x introvert!reader

Info:

Kim y/n: age 20, introvert, anxiety, future songwriter.

Jeon Jungkook: age 22, confident, manwhore, mafia son.

Both enrolled into Yonsei University.

————————

Warnings: Smut!!!! Dark romance, abuse, toxic relationship, yearning (a man who yearns is a man who earns), smut smut smut smut, bullying, deals, smoking, smut smut smut, virginity lost, smooth sex, rough sex, blood from virginity, etc….

————————

Please be cautious because some themes may be suggestive!

This is my first story I’ve written and there’s gonna be multiple chapters!!!!

It was November 4th 2025. The time was currently 11:43 pm. I have my first day at my new college tomorrow since i transferred. I am so nervous.

I've suffered from really bad anxiety ever since freshman year. I'm on medication but we all know anxiety never truly goes away...

Every time I had anything come up where social interaction was involved I would panic.

Currently, I'm laying in bed looking at the ceiling. I can't stop thinking about tomorrow. What are people gonna think of me? Will I get bullied just like high-school? Oh gosh! People are gonna stare at me while I introduce myself!

Fuck.

I've got to get a hold of myself.

My life can't go on like this.

I turn to the side to get into a more comfortable position to fall asleep.

And around 25 minutes later, I did thank god.

————

I wake up to the sound of my alarm which is at 7:30 am. My class is at 9:15 but I like to get a good start of my day.

I walk to my small kitchen in my studio apartment.

I love my apartment. It's very cozy to me and I love my view of Seoul.

Is it the best apartment I could dream of? No. But it works as I am a college student.

I'm currently trying to get my degree in literature. I love writing and my goal is to become a songwriter and eventually maybe even a producer.

I know I could've avoided college with that job choice. Everyone tells me that. But I just didn't want to miss out on college since people hype it up so much.

I get my matcha and drink it sitting in my chair looking out to the city.

At around 8:00 am I get changed into my uniform before packing my bag. I pop my anxiety medicine in my bag just incase.

Fast forward, it's now 8:15 and I leave my house to get to the train stop. The walk to the subway station is about 15 minutes and I would get to the university around 8:45.

————

I step onto the Yonsei university campus. Gosh it's even more beautiful than I could imagine. It looks like a castle and everything is so gorgeous.

I go to check in and get directions to my class which was easy to navigate.

Once I walk in, I see people all talking to each other. Which was weird to me cause my previous college, no one really talked we all just wanted to get our diploma and leave.

I sit in a non-occupied seat in the 4th row of the class.

As I'm unpacking my bag to get all my stationary out I see 3 girls walk up to my desk.

"Oh! You must be new here?"

A random girl was talking to me? She had longer black hair and was very petite. She was pretty. But I didn't get a good vibe from her. She also had 2 little minions standing behind her giggling.

My eyes widen as I look up at her. "Uh- yeah I just transferred." I say nervously.

"Oh well I hate to break it to you...but uhm that's mg seat." She says pointing her finger at my desk.

"I will move." I say putting my book back in my bag.

"Hey! You should at least apologize for being so oblivious! Do you even know who she is?" One of her minions speaks to me. She's wearing a white beanie with yellow knee high socks and white heels.

I look back at the main girl in the middle "Sorry, I don't recognize you. Who are you?"

She scoffs. "Uhm hello? I'm Karina. Doesn't ring a bell? Guess not to low lives. Well just know my dad owns many companies in South Korea so I'm a pretty big deal." She gives me a creepy looking smile.

I nod my head. "Oh nice...well I'll get going now."

"Wow how pathetic are you? You won't even properly introduce yourself?"

I stand up with my bag and look at her. "Sorry I-"

"Leave her alone." A more masculine voice comes from behind the girls. He was tall, muscular and had dark features. Scared me actually.

"Oh my gosh Jungkook, you're defending her?" Winter asks him.

"She's new here give her a break." He looks me up and down.

"Whatever waste of my time anyway." Karina and her minions leave to go find another seat.

I sit back down and put my stuff back out. Ignoring Jungkook.

"A thank you would be polite."

I look up at him. "T- Thanks."

He scoffs and walks off.

—————

After class I grab my bags to head back to my apartment.

Once I get home I immediately start on my homework just to get it out of the way.

I had some ramen for dinner. I'm pretty short on money so cheaper foods is all I can really afford in the meantime.

Hours later and I lay in my bed thinking about jungkook and why he would defend me?

I guess we will never know....

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HII GUYSSS!!!

What do yall think of this first chapter? This is my first wattpad story so I hope you all enjoy it!!! Comments and criticisms are really appreciated. I'm currently planning out the next chapter.

[fumifooms]

Kabru party analysis - Trust, and codependence vs emotional unavailability

I flip flopped on calling this a masterpost a lot, but looking back, yeah. While I do compile every fact I can about the party and its characters a significant part of this is interpretation, extrapolation and speculation enough that it's an analysis more than compilation at this point. Feel free to skim, skip around, whatever makes the experience more enjoyable and useful. I’ll also try and compile parallels they have with their Laios party counterpart, since them being foils and ‘shadow version’ of sorts to our main party is a big part of their fun fact meta, I am however most interested in analyzing them as their own characters- and as a whole together as an entity & narrative device. I did end up getting into narrative and thematic analysis for the main story... Mostly the Kabru & conclusion segments though.

But ultimately the goal of this post is mostly to analyze their relationships with each other because I think that’s the messy interesting part of their group, beyond just being a kabru party facts list.

Table of contents:

Kabru + party timeline

Rin

Holm

Daya

Mickbell

Kuro

Relationships and overall dynamic

Do they matter at all to the story?

For easy finding if anyone wants to do a focused reread, the main chapters featuring the Kabru party are 10, 15, 31 and 32, and then with chapter 45 everyone but Kabru (and Rin) stops appearing until the final battle.

Kabru of Utaya & his party

What to say about Kabru that hasn’t already been said, how to summarize him as perfectly and concisely as possible… I don’t think I can reasonably do him full justice here! This is an analysis about his party and not just him so I don’t want to spend forever here. Unlike every other character in his party Kabru is a main character of Dungeon Meshi so plenty of analyses around, meanwhile information can be hard to find and string together for the rest of them or the party as a whole. This isn’t a deep dive on Kabru but a summary, I’ll go over his timeline, goals and general attitude.

This'll be critical for later, but notice here that this means Kabru's party formed 2 years before the story happens. We get no indication of whether or not party members have changed much or little over those years, even if the party overall seems somewhat incompetent. Kabru's profile says that despite his skills, his lack of experience makes him a mediocre party leader and we do have that inexperience with monsters and dungeons, from what we see in canon. It's partly due to his foster mother training him intensively in combat against humans but seemingly not monsters or dungeon survivals, and partly from what we see with canon's framig because Kabru has no interest in monsters- You know and understand what you love better than what you hate, so Kabru is good at fighting humans and Laios is good at fighting monsters. The party does have rather good chemistry in action, with Kabru orchestrating everyone with commands, but they still end up being defeated as often as not, and despite Mickbell's warnings Kabru pushes to go to a dungeon floor lower than he thinks they can handle with their current ressources, for example. Laios' party at the start of canon were broke, but it's only because their money got lost in the dungeon and (chap 28) the bank would take too long to get their tokens back & take money out to save Falin- meanwhile Mickbell talks about being in the red just because of their current unfruitful dive, meaning they aren't as successful and have tighter finances overall. We see the party hanging out in taverns off-work (though not unlike Laios' very occasionally does as well) and things like Kabru meeting Dia's fiance and the party visiting Kabru's room, so they mayy be paralelling how it's said Laios' party hung out very little outside of work? They don't seem much closer for it, though.

One other thing to note is that Utaya is not necessarily his birthplace/hometown? The details are unclear, the adventurer's Bible does refer to it as his birthplace twice, but it's also mentioned several times that his mother was "chasen out", even in the original japanese. It sounds like leaving a town to me, but it could be that they were only driven out to their house and moved to a different part of town...? Either way, his mother was "chased out of home" after he was born beause of his blue eyes. Of course, Utaya is where the dungeon overflow tragedy happened when he was 6-7 years old, so it's the town Kabru and his mom were living in, one way or another. It's also mentioned kobolds lived near Utaya, explaining him speaking some kobold, which kobolds also implies the region had conflict beyond the dungeon overflow considering what Kabru says about kobolds in the kobold page.

Her mom having been "chased out of home" over him and then working hard as a single mother to support both him and herself is likely to have made him feel like a burden, which may have influenced his selflessness: the way he's hardworking, the way he neglects himself, the way he keeps others at arm's lenght (maybe thinking getting closer to him would do them no good)*, the way he can be very quiet and a great listener, gauging others' needs- the same way he was his mom's venting outlet when very young whenever she got drunk. *I explore this possibility more in this kabrin brainstorm post. The insecurity of being an incubus/monster, especially with how Kabru did see people transforming into monsters in Utaya- A very interesting recurring angle for him.

Let's be clear, as Kabru shows again and again his goal was 1) to pierce the mysteries of the dungeon, and 2) ensure that if anyone defeats the current dungeon lord that they won't accelerate the process of the dungeon overflowing or use the power for evil, essentially that the dungeon's power won't fall into the wrong hands, which includes him thinking the canaries shouldn't get the final say in how to handle it all. His goal/plan of becoming dungeon lord himself was to take care of both of these in one go.

He's been at this for years and he's seen a lot of things firsthand when he was 6, so already when he first confronts the canaries at the Island governor's he explains the stages of degradation of a dungeon quite well, he has his own theories that turn out accurate, but he's made them while being barred from most information on dungeons, which the elven monarchy controls access to. Goal 2 is always the main point, but goal 1 is important in order to be able to do it efficiently. Once this, goal 1, is achieved and Kabru learns about the demon through Mithrun, he becomes solely focused on goal 2 again (whereas the On Floor 1 chapters ended with him breaking alliance wth the canaries to demand answer) to ensure the demon stays under control and to stop the current (and possible next) dungeon lord. And then, well, the meeting at Thistle's house happens. Defeating the dungeon then at the beginning of canon was half-cover, a simple unsuspicious way to present his goals, half-goal 1 which would also take care of goal 2 by Kabru himself becoming the dungeon lord, as said. The canaries show up so he indulges in goal 1 while carefully teetering on being an obstacle to the canaries and helping them, and then it's right back to goal 2 with renewed determination together after he and Mithrun fall down into the dungeon and Mithrun spills everything. He doesn't trust Laios as dungeon lord, but he also doesn't trust the elves having the sole duty of managing dungeons.

It becomes this sort of tug of war of distrust, of who does he trust less to ally against, who does he trust more to ally with, which side to take once it's clear his own side isn't viable alone- he ends up somewhat playing double agent covertly through the story, but ultimately he ends up more or less trusting everyone and playing double agent openly with the final battle, quote unquote having faith in humanity & others, which he'd been cynical about for so long, finding red flags in everyone. But yes yes backing up again, he came to trust Mithrun during the six days in the dungeon together, but not the rest of the canaries and when they meet up again he's still on bad terms with them, we see it at Thistle's house where he tried obfuscating Laios' party's secret and pinned Mithrun to keep him from chasing after them, preferring for the ball to be in their court and for Mithrun not to go kamikaze mode.

His interest in Laios also extended to Falin, their party was quite capable and was more or less next in line to beat the dungeon, but since she died and Laios went into it on a shocking desperate mission, Laios becomes a focus of his as they make very quick progress. No one dungeon diving ever went beyond the big doors guarded by the gargoyles, but Laios' party passes through them just a little after Kabru and Mithrun team up.

All these deeper thoughts were largely unknown to his party members before the story.

He’s secretive and often cold with his party. Even Rin, presumably the closest friend he has, the one who’s devoting herself to specifically following and helping him (while the others also seem to admire him and partly follow him to put him on the dunlord throne, they have their own reasons too), is left in the dark with an arm of distance kept between them. Kabru first reveals he's been keeping an eye on the Touden's party during the sea serpent 2 chapter for example, and goes into it a little more during the Toshiro-Laios parties meetup chapters.

Although, it might be more appropriate to say that rather the party members aren't really listening. Kabru spoke about his goal to keep the toudens away from the dungeon lord title here, has a whole speech about influence and power falling into the wrong hands, and their reaction is "we know, only you is fit to be dungeon lord!" when that's never been the actual core of the matter, the point. It was the red herring being set up yes, that that was only what kabru wanted, but ultimately looking back he's always had that guardian type motivation more than leader, being a judge and executioner more than a king on a throne, he wants to support what's good and dismantle what's bad, so it suits him to have become a politician in the end instead of the ultimate chief. That also goes into his arc- him learning that sharing duties and goals is good, that he doesn't have to do everything alone and fully trusting others when teaming up can be beneficial, that he alone doesn't have to be the sole voice, that his shouldn't be the sole choice to be made about matters or courses of action. So going back to the topic- another instance of his explanations being dismissed is in this convo with Rin above- Again he talks about dungeons and reveals hints about his true goals, yet after all of this Rin literally only goes "hmm" and silence falls, and then she says she's hungry. Wether she was contemplative or uninterested, the change of topic is rather quick and unceremonious. And this is the person who'd know best about his motivations too, knowing his past well.

And maybe this phenomenon is also why he gets peeved at Rin here and silently chides her. In a "she should know how to think this through by now, she should've taken a second to observe and remember how we do things, she should think deeper about the true important matters" way etc etc. What are we doing this for, what do you take me for? This kind of righteousness is detrimental rather than helpful and strategic, Rin.

I place both Laios and Mithrun to be very important to Kabru's character and arc, and with Mithrun a significant part of the puzzle imo must have been that Mithrun listened, easily understood. Mithrun understood the gravity and danger of dungeons, was even similarly a victim of one. Where everyone else shallowly misunderstands or dimisses what he says about dungeons and his goals, they're very understandable and familiar to Mithrun, and such bumps don't happen with him. Mithrun isn't playing the social game the same way as others, he just dishes out whatever blunt straight to the bottom of the matter points, he skips the social dance Kabru often gets so hang up on, in a way that helps kabru communicate with him honestly rather than hinder, especially since Mithrun is still quite good at reading between lines. This could be a good part of why they take to each other rather quickly and team up, each other's rationale and plans feel intuitive to the other and they find someone else traumatized by the dungeon, someone who understands, understands not only what he's talking about but also what must be done, the ruthlessness needed. And Laios comes to ultimately balance this out, not invalidating their wants and needs but showing there are other ways to proceed, other people to trust, even when they don't intuitively understand them.

And on that note I want to talk about Kabru and laios' confrontation. I've already said that his "Laios obsession" is about his dungeon goals and that's very straightforward, and it only got to this point because Laios previously dodged his every attempt at closeup info gathering and still now he can't get a read or grip on him. BUT while some think Kabru's "I just wanted to be friends with you" is just a bullshit he made up on the spot complete lie, I don't think so. We see Kabru cycle through some explanations, angles and speeches he has like scripts, like one of them on the second page is close to this. And we know they're like scripts because that's what he said and how he spoke with his party, the backstory talk, the framing, it's all how he presented it to others as well. But he knows none will work on laios, Laios pushes him like Mithrun to go offscript, to find new approaches and communicate in ways that are more vulnerable and uncomfortable. And Kabru has trouble finding that angle that'll work with Laios, because he doesn't know Laios well enough, and that's what he wants, too, it feels so frustrating and vulnerable not understanding him. As his desperation mounts it sort of just slips out- I wanted to be friends with you. Childish, simple, inappropriate for the grave context and very embarrassing. And he immediately freezes and backpedals- BUT Laios endlessly dunks on the very idea that it could be true and that sets kabru off- after which he unloads a more personal perspective of how it was like chasing after him. And I think that's what it is, it's not a lie but it's a bit of an oversimplification- Not the full reason, but a part of it. Kabru wanted them to get to know each other better and get along, for him not to have to kill Laios, a want he still clings onto even when stakes are rising. He says it all himself here, explains his statement after Laios all but laughs in his face in disbelief. I think this scene and the slip-up shows that Kabru does have a desire for connection, that even when he's all calculating and manipulative with his business mode on, there's that desire under it all. And with Laios, well, what better excuse is there to be interested in someone that so conveniently is at the center of his plans and goals for the dungeon? Meeting practicality and genuine interest makes for this- I don't think that's unique to Laios perse, I do think Kabru is interested in people in general like he himself puts it in contrast with the touden siblings who don't, but with Laios the difference is the utter onesidedness of it, the brick wall of social cues he doesn't know how to approach but both needs and wants to. Repressing a desire for social connections, being bound by it despite wanting to not need them, is a common theme in Dungeon Meshi! And I think this fits into that. It's in the grabbing of Laios' arm too. Yes it's from despair, from the situation and from not being heard out, but that despair hides a desire, and it's a desire both to fix everything and to be seen and heard finally. And you could theorize it's his time with Mithrun that made him help realize here that yes there's some truth to wanting to be friends with Laios, and learn to seize the opportunity, to chase it not just through mind games but also try honesty, bluntness...

His arc with Laios (and with Mithrun) is a lot about teaming up imo, his party disappears and accomplished little because he never fully opened up to them, but when push came to shove and he was thrown into teaming up with someone (Mithrun) unfamiliar with no pretenses possible in an urgent situation he slowly gained trust for him, he learns that trust can be valuable even through the risk, enough that by the time he has to make his ultimate choice of going against Laios and even killing, vs helping him and letting him do his own plan, conflicted as he is Kabru still chooses to defend Laios from Lycion and have some faith- and this despite having his own opinion dismissed by Laios in the scene we just looked at. He is putting faith in Laios to have the weight of that world he was carrying alone for years put into someone else's hands, upon their choices, despite it meaning everything to him. Dungeon Meshi is a loooot about community and unity, about reaching each other halfway to have understanding and accomplish things together, better, and Kabru's arc very much is about that whole thing. Laios decides to go with his own gut instead of agreeing with Kabru's pleading, and there's much to say about that, but ultimately I see it as Kabru being forced to reckon with having to put full trust in another person's judgement yes, terrifying and risky, but sometimes it'll pay off. Seeking to understand each other earnestly IS good, and it's only after all pretenses are out the window that things start to look up, compromise shows willingness to do that.

So like. Mithrun's half of kabru's storyline is about being understood, getting some of that social connecting need he's been neglecting and showing how genuineness pays off, meanwhile Laios' half is about understanding others, seeing the flaws in how he approaches others. How do you expect people to understand you if you aren't earnest with them, Laios asks? Lycion hammers it home too, being the one to expose Kabru having been fake with Laios and trying being very blunt and direct with Laios. With Mithrun he learns to socialize without playing 4d mind chess again, it's easy with him befause he's so uninterested in respecting social conventions anymore and is so blunt and honest, and with Laios he learns to apply that. Mithrun is his parallel and Laios is his contrast.

Okay this was the story arc bit now getting back to a character analysis focus. Kabru is interested in anthropology in general, with a genuine interest in learning about people and languages & helping people at large. He's concerned with the greater good and "preventing Utaya from happening again", not because he himself doesn't feel safe but because he wants to prevent tragedies in the world, tragedies that affect others the way he's been before. Kabru is individualistic in the sense that he takes everything upon himself, doesn't readily trust others with decisions, but he's also incredibly selfless. He's dedicating his life to investigating dungeons and stopping their meltdowns, thinking someone else than the elves must get involved, he has personal reasons to be motivated to stop the demon but unlike Mithrun it's not out of revenge but out of a concern for others' wellbeing, while Mithrun's motivations are stuck in the past Kabru's are in the future's. In his determined pursuit of his goals he neglects his own needs and wellbeing- Due to his upbringing with the sheltering Milsiril, Kabru has a hard time even doing basic care tasks like cleaning and cooking, if it wasn't for his landlord doing the cleaning of his rented room for him it'd be very messy, bottles laying around because he drinks alcohol to help with insomnia regularly for one. Dungeon diving isn't all that profitable, especially being Kabru's party, and it's unsafe, and it's uncomfortable, and not exactly well seen- He's not enriching himself either in wealth or status, and yet Kabru his spending his every day and every ressource researching about dungeon diving parties on the Island to keep an eye out for possible future dungeon lords, making influential connections like the shadow governor, and of course dungeon diving itself. He even puts it himself, that he'd rather die in a dungeon in pain than stay at Milsiril's, and it's very important to remember that unlike Laios Kabru hates dungeons- He loathes monsters, is terrified of them and the threat the dungeons make, and doesn't even seem to have true curiosity or interest for dungeons' workings beyond how to stop them from causing harm- his dedication to dungeon diving is solely in relation to his mission. While I'm sure he does find some interactions fulfilling here and there, he also keeps himself from connecting with others, treating relationships either as tools (like drinking is to him) or situations to people please and focus on helping fix their issues like with Dia's fiance, sinking a lot of time into it and not opening up himself, gaining nothing from it except maybe some loyalty and reputation, a sense of satisfaction and a sense of having done a good thing.

The end very much justifies the means with him. He's one of the more politically conscious and few greater good caring people of the cast but he's not without bias, his talking about kobolds for one... more on that in the kabru & Kuro section. He's not blinded by ideas of good and evil since he has no problems with greyer areas if the ultimate result is good- but he can be blinded by laser focus somewhat. His fear over Laios- while clearly not unfounded since kui herself stated that at the beginning of serialization she really thought Laios would become a demon king as dungeon lord in the end- makes him take rash decisions, where if it wasn't for people reviving and saving his party again and again and again, Kabru would never have even met Laios. See, again the theme that he can't achieve his goals alone even if he tries. He doesn't want to share burdens and plans, refuses help sometimes, but he does rely on it like everyone else, and ultimately I think that's what his arc is about like we covered- from being so distant with his party to opening up with mithrun and ultimately, in his kill Laios vs trust Laios dilemma he picked trust.

I do think growing up with Milsiril shaped him into who he became a lot, not only because he had access to knowledge with her ressources and her teaching yes, but most importantly imo he learned to manage an emotionally needy adult. It's mentioned his dead mother would sometimes vent to him when drunk, and it's different but similar to Milsiril being a sensitive recluse hermit who jumps from tears to anger in the blink of an eye, with emotional manipulation whether intentional or not, guilt tripping for even small things like which home cuisine he picks to talk about. Kabru grew used to having to anticipate and pacify or counter Milsiril's moods, to push through the wails and downright threats to be able to make a point and be heard like when saying he wishes to go into dungeons, and she seems to overburden her kids with the task of managing her emotional stability like I implied. She doesn't have friends except literally maybe just Helki her employee, she likes dolls and interacting with her kids and that's all that we see, so she seems emotionally dependent on her kids and esp Kabru imo. So like with how he operates in the present, he learned to "manipulate for good", what words tend to set people off, what ways to phrase things make pills easier to swallow, what face is most pleasing and soothing, what gestures are too much and what gestures are too little. Daily life and ineracting at home with his foster family became a visual novel with right and wrong answers and for smooth days he needs to be a good kid. Milsiril & Kabru is a topic for another day but I do have a lot to say. I do want it to be kept in mind here that Kabru's opinion that it's impossible for elves to see eye to eye with shortlived races is explicitly linked to his experience with Milsiril, as written in his Adventurer's bible pages. This coming up is definitelyyy a headcanon though but since [Helki is the only friend adjacent relationship we know milsiril has] and their relationship is master & servant there's grounds to theorize about how much kabru interacted with him too- how much Kabru saw Milsiril and Helki interact, his only father adjacent figure you could even say... As @room-surprise puts it, growing up in that house watching Milsiril and Helki and himself he learned that life is not to eat or be eaten but instead "to use or be used". Having grown elsewhere than the rigid elven kingdom first, that place with its tons of social etiquette rules and hierarchy, helped him be more critical of that society even as he observed how it worked and how he could work it, his original home may have not been much more welcoming, but sometimes difference is all that's needed to start comparing and realizing how systems are built, and not innate or unchangeable. I think being thrown into it rather than born into it shaped how Kabru perceived it. Psychology also helped him deal with his own trauma imo- in the incubus & parasitic bee comic it seems rationalizing the people from his hometown's superstitions helps him make his peace about it, makes it feel less personal, more distant- it's not my great aunt thinking I ruined my mom's life by being born, it's the human instinct and phenomenon of people being scared of what they don't understand, like a child with pale blue eyes. People being scared by what they don't understand, hm, it really always goes back to this in Dungeon Meshi doesn't it.

I think it's needless to say at this point but it's obvious Kabru is a character very affected by trauma. Faced with monsters, which've ravaged his home in the blink of an eye, he shakes and hesitates. He gets flashbacks when thinking about eating monsters. Wild topic swing but believe it or not there's a recurring "is it ptsd or autism" debate that often happens with characters, including L from Death Note for example, and Kabru has had this phenomenon in a niche of the fandom too. As one myself I do heavily relate to Kabru in the lens of him being an overachiever masked autistic, who unconsciously was drawn to learning psychology out of a need to do so and used to approach social interactions as a more scripted and logical affair than intuitive, and that was in part due to trauma yes- but autism and social-based trauma that pushed you to overcompensate and overachieve is, well... There's a causal link there yes, and it's a tendency that does happen with autism, especially in its afab presentation. And Kabru having ptsd is pretty much undeniable, so then, both? Personally I would claim kabru suffered not only the trauma of Utaya being destroyed but also social trauma living through being feared and hated by villagers and then taken in by elves and being constantly talked over- again different but similar to Rin's own experience and trauma. Truth is Kabru not being autistic doesn't change all that much from the "Laios caught his eye because he doesn't mask well and Kabru has to teach him about it he has to tell him that's illegal and look out for him" magnetism theory because that's also what ptsd does, someone with ptsd depending on the trauma also can become very scripted and nervous about skirting from it. Autism just gives it a more personal lens, where it's not only trauma but just who you are, always feeling a bit apart from everyone else in a fundamental way. In the end what autism and ptsd share in situations like this is that they treat social situations like a survival game, no fun included. This isn't the kabru is autistic analysis that's another topic plus many exist already I bet, but yes just know that these are common and coherent readings that can give a good lens for his behavior or obsessive tendencies.

Last tangent last tangent- but words are Kabru's main weapon right, knowledge is Kabru's main warfare method. Being in a society and with a parental guardian who doesn't put weight into your opinions and wants, speaking and being listened to is hard, and Kabru learned to play the game and dance the dance until he could make connections anywhere. It's of course relevant with how he dealt with Misilril and just how he continues to approach problems and matters now too, it's a way to be, a defense mechanism too, again like Rin's. It's interesting to note that it's Milsiril who taught him a lot, which he mentions is what he's grateful for her for most, teaching him and training him- and isn't that very in line with how Milsiril also felt spoken over and rejected by elven society as well, how she despises elven society even. Almost as if knowledge is a tool when you're devalued and pushed down in a society- Something that was important for Milsiril to teavh to him, which also fits nicely in with Kabru teaching Kuro the common tongue later on too. Milsiril's approach to the game of hierarchy was to keep her head down and obey orders until she could retire living rich as a hermit and foster parent, though, and that's emblematic of where they differ too- Kabru wants to be proactive, do more prevention with dungeons to have less damage control to do, even if you have to throw yourself into danger, even if you have to seek it out, so he makes connections and builds influence and goes dungeon diving. Milsiril wants to go away from trouble, leave to be safer, avoid danger, in life like in work, so she decides to live away from wider society to deal with her trauma and social anxiety, and so she retires and doesn't understand why Kabru would ever want to go near a dungeon again. Words are Kabru's main weapon but ultimately he drops arms and shed this attitude for open communication instead... 😌

I've started doing more analyses with enneagrams, I'll link back here when I make my first enneagram character analysis feature with Laios but in the meantime, sorry if you know nothing about it... If I had to call one for Kabru right now, 5w6/6w5 and 163 for tritype? Which would somewhat complement my reading of Laios as a 4w5 478, being his contrary in the action center 1 vs 8 which is the center that dictates how you judge/approach others/interactions, and the order being that the socialization center is the facet that's most important to Kabru vs what's least important to Laios. Inversely what's most important to Laios and least important to Kabru is the heart center aka how you judge yourself, your relationship with your own self-importance, Laios is very concerned with his own identity and interests and flees oppressive places that make him need to conform too much meanwhile Kabru is to himself only a tool for his greater goal and is ready to sacrifice individuality and his own comfort for it. But hey why would Kabru be 6w5 but still have 1 has his most important type in his 163 tritype? Well 6 is the desire for stability, security, and 1 is the high strict standard & concern for what's right vs wrong. I would consider 6 as his more important type because it's that desire that shaped his 1 importance given to morality, justice, good on a wider scale, etc, especially as someone marginalized where moral policies naturally benefit more people, often especially those devalued ykwim? Bettering the country with policies is right and also benefits him, he thinks everyone should have stability and safety, that it's the most important thing for everyone, but it presents as a 1 way to deal with that issue.

I think an important recurrent theme you can notice here too is onesided and unbalanced relationships. Kabru had the role of significant emotional support to both parental figures he had in his life, when as a child you're the one supposed to emotionally unload and the parents are supposed to take on them and manage the both of you, and it's made him be stuck into that mode sort of by default, letting others open themselves to you as much as they want but not opening up in turn, being more detached and unemotional- and of course, that's what's needed when you need to fix things, when you have to make sure everything is taken care of. It's the approach he takes both for his life and for relationships, so he shuts out his own emotions and pushes himself for others and for the world. He likes knowing, but not being known, because that's not supposed to be his role or purpose. He knows how burdening that can be. It does make the reversal of Laios being interested in Laios actively and Laios being uninterested in Kabru himself interesting. I don't know Kabru knows himself all that well, it's always about others so he doesn't take nearly as much time pondering his own wants, I think that plays into the "I wanted to be friends" too. It's how he's so able to get Dia's fiance to emotionally unload on him and vent over a couple hours and so at ease with it- he's used to it. Ah and even with Rin! He was specifically asked to befriend Rin as a kid, a very heavily traumatized girl- he was asked this because he's a shortlived race kid like her and nice, was asked this by his foster mother for the canaries' sake- he was literally put into that emotional support situation there too.

I am not mentioning every parallel & contrast he has with Laios I don't wanna be here all day!! But hey where Kabru had his town ravaged by monsters as a child and has always holds importance for having community, Laios fantasized about monsters tavaged his town because he hated his community, for one. In this precise scenario, Laios saw flaws and he immediately wanted to give up on that community, meanwhile Kabru saw flaws and wanted to fix them- Well, mostly, since Kabru did give up on relations with elves for a good while, and both end up amending those beliefs and seeking to make a better society within the golden kingdom together.

Here is my very quickest Kabru analysis apparently 😭😭 I NEED to get dragged offstage this can't go on- Idk man I still haven't gotten THE ANGLE with Kabru's narrative in the story I still can't see one thread that makes everything seamlessly connect together like it usually happens with Dunmeshi for me, but there's so much going on here about typical dunmeshi themes like authenticity, balancing considering others & your own needs and connecting...... But my biggest impression after my first read that still lingers now is that Kabru was in good part there to embody that people are a tapestry and that we're like an ecosystem, you can't carry the weight of the world alone because you are not alone and humans are creatures that accomplish feats through being social, like how Kabru couldn't have defeated the monster without Laios' help, Laios couldn't have gotten this far without Kabru's interference. Again it's all comes to that final battle where everyone, different as they may be, come together to fight on the same side, to save their collective world... And the guy everyone believed in least being the one on who all hope and faith and trust is placed in the last desperate shot at winning. Idk man!!! What are we doing here go touch grass breathe in the breeze hug your loved ones what a joy it is to be alive and human!! Take example on Kabru and love yourself. Because you're human and he loves humans I mean- don't actually take notes on self-love from Kabru that would not go well I feel. But yeah like to me Kabru's party gives me a nudge of what direction I should go in to figure out what his portion of the story is getting at, the importance of Kabru's party then becomes showing the state of his relationships at the start of the story before things get shaken up, as contrast and a reference point...

Rinsha Fana

OKAYYY here we are. Not everything is about you Kabru! <- said with Rin's voice (it really truly actually is lol)

I've already done an incomplete analysis of her here, please look at it for Rin pictures & material, but basically her sour and strict attitude seems to be a defense mechanism she can't fully control, like how she tends to frown when she wants to smile. Kabru's words about it are somewhat dubious to be sure, we don't have a guidebook on "when is Rin truly angry and when is she just smiling upside down :) ", but it is notable that Kabru does have a point with that, from what we see.

Her nagging attitude is part of that defense mechanism- As explicitly stated several times, her main purpose in following Kabru is that she's worried he'd get himself into trouble without her. Not unjustified, since he has trouble even cleaning and eating well, and then he gets all wrapped up with the canaries during canon, but yes according to Rin he's too smart and reckless for his own good. This may be why he sees her as a big sister figure, she nitpicks every little thing but at the end of the day her support is unconditional and she'll stand with you whenever you need her. Sort of like a big sister, she gives tough love but ultimately just wants you to be healthy and to take your pain away.

She had a very difficult upbringing, seen as a heretic to burn at the stake in her early childhood then treated like an animal when growing up with the elves. Her parents had an unaligned religion and its practices are tied to how she learned magic, which is why her family was reported to the canaries as dark magic users, but not in time for them to arrive before the townspeople killed her parents. Where with the elves Kabru learned to people please in order to gain more agency and safety when he grew up seen as a pet, Rin learned to be irreproachable and stand her ground when she grew up treated as an animal. The townspeople in Kabru's hometown sought to break up his home and chase out his family, and they may have threatened heavily for all that we know, but Kabru was able to keep his love for humans and belief that humanity is good, the trauma he has is of monsters killing people during the dungeon overflow- Rin's trauma is townspeople burning her house down and lynching her family until she was the only survivor. She sees others as a threat, and not without reason.

Both Rin and Kabru wear masks socially. They go in opposite ways though, Rin oversells her toughness to tell people not to mess with her, she makes herself closed off and intimidating, meanwhile Kabru is more of a chameleon but mainly, he makes himself seem open and appeasing, unthreatening to be trusted and liked more.

She was sent into shock and suffered through severe trauma especially since the people who collected her amidst all this, the canaries, are very ill equipped to deal with emotionally/mentally fragile people, especially shortlived race kids. Because of this whole situation she has some contempt for those who had it "easier", like mages who went to magic school instead of having to self-teach like Rin did. And some of this is disdain that where she had to study everything on her own others have teachers to guide them through it all, a sense of superiority, but imo it's also doubtlessly a defense mechanism, an anti magic-elitism where she sneers at them before they can sneer at her. Before they can call her uncultured, she calls them talentless. Counter before they can even strike. Defense mechanism. In the main story, we hear of this tension Rin has about academy mages with how she speaks of Marcille and her spells- specifically she's rude about Marcille's protection charm/ward and says something about how the one who did it was definitely an academy mage because the spell is too by the book in chapter 32- and this is what I mean, she takes issue with how strict about rules and spells they are, how much they conform, because her own background is being severely mistreated and sotracized for being an unaligned unconventional mage, for doing magic outside of these rules and books. Interestingly, we also see in chapter 10 though that she looks down on people she sees as not successful or capable, saying that they'll definitely defeat the mad mage and "we won't be hand-to-mouth adventurers like you people", perhaps from trauma too- wishing to put a distance between the group she'd normally be categorized with and who she wants to become, or having felt mocked by the guy who talked to them before by having been related to them, because she's so on guard and bad faith always. We don't really know the details of Rin's time with the elves, escept that she was "minded like an animal". We don't even know where she stayed, even, just that Milsiril couldn't take her in because her house was already full. Where did she stay, then? Some shitty orphanage? I like to think she stayed with the canaries as "an impounded article" until she became an adult and left with Kabru, explaining even more her attitude since she'd have all the military influence, and further proving the point that any success she earns was self-made, that anything she knows she had to teach berself because her environment never gave her opportunities. But yes wherever it was, we can only assume that it was close enough to Milsiril's mansion or easily accessible, because Kabru and Rin continues seeing each other. It seems like at first, they would have made trips just in order to have Kabru befriend Rin until she could talk. They may have continued through letters eventully too if they couldn't meet. Hust a lot of uncertainty on every ground, all we know is Rin and Kabru became important to each other.

We actually know little of Rin and Kabru's pre-canon relationship, but we know that Rin was taken in by the elves some time after Kabru was, after her parents were killed by townsfolk and report them as black mages to the canaries, who arrived too late to be able to tell, so just took Rin in and...... Well we know very little of how she was treated, too, even where she was kept, just that Milsiril couldn't take her in and that they "minded her like an animal". We know that Kabru wanted and wants to "get her away from the elves somehow", something he doesn't say about the other kids living with Milsiril and explains his reason as being because Rin has bad experience with the elves, but it's unsure how Kabru left home and how Rin came to go with him. Because of that quote of his though it's likely he invited her along when he left, and she followed. But it's not confirmed, for all we know Kabru could have only invited her after 2 years after leaving when he founded his party. It's obvious Rin holds no love for living with the elves anyways, but we don't know how much freedom she had- it was hard for Kabru to be allowed to leave because he was coddled, notably only leaving 2 years after he reached in-world adulthood despite having first voiced his want to leave when he was a kid, but meanwhile I like to think Rin left very easily because no one cared, she was something that took up space and food where she wasn't wanted or needed, an obsolete "impounded article". She was catatonic when she was first taken in, but it's likely things were cleared up once she was able to talk that no, her family wasn't practicing black magic, and then the canaries just didn't know where to send her because she had no home or family anymore. But then, if she could leave whenever she wanted why wouldn't she have left earlier? Probably precisely because of Kabru too, because she didn't want to leave him. She loves him, and they're more or less the only friend each other had, so she couldn't just leave him behind and try to build a life without him, similarly to how he couldn't do that either. She stayed for Kabru and she left for Kabru.

I made another little post speculating more about her life with the elves and the possible impact of Flamela here if you're interested, as well as elaborating on her abandonment issues and the importance of Kabru to her.

Rin does seem to believe in Kabru's cause, in making him dugeon lord and that being important, but her main motivation is still pretty clearly that she's doing this for Kabru because it's Kabru. She doesn’t seem to really know why or what, just that it should be ‘someone who deserves it’ that beats the dungeon and becomes dungeon lord, and her first lines show her determined to prove everyone they can beat the dungeon. Like stated, her main motivation is she wants to make sure Kabru's safe and out of trouble, so hey why not put the "heretic" magic she learned to use and become his offense mage, why not use it to manage a feat so big and desired (defeating the dungeon) that everyone will have to admit she and her art are worthy of respect, to prove to everyone she can make it with her own skills and own unconventional knowledge. Her magic, the last remnant of her family. Her house burned down with everything she possessed, and she's said to have little attachment to her culture due to having been an immigrant on top of everything else, so the memories and knowledge they've taught her, the lessons they instilled in her and the person they tried to shape her to be, that's all that's left of them. She never speaks of them, at all, likely due to the whole heay childhood trauma thing, so we don't really know her feelings on well, everything, beyond that it was traumatic. We don't know what her relationship with her parents was like. She's a very closed off person. That's another contrast we can point out with Kabru, Rin flees her pre-canaries past and never brings up her family, has little attachment to places she's lived in or her culture, but Kabru is fixated on remembering, brings up his mother and culture whenever he can like in the halloween local sweets extra, has made the tragedy of Utaya at the center of his entire life mission. Rin and Kabru really are contrasts of each other in how they deal with trauma I think, whereas they both become very guarded in very different ways I think this highlights how simlar he may have felt with Mithrun, the both of them having become obsessed with their trauma and eradicating the cause of it which happened to be the same thing, having become workaholics and consumed over it.

She's in love with Kabru, but the way I see it it doesn't seem like she's particularly pursuing him romantically. I do think Kabru's occasional flirting with her gives her needless hope, but I don't think getting with him is either her goal in following him or her plan, I think she's content just following him to taking care of him selflessly, even when she knows he can be a womanizer and dishonest asshat, albeit she'll complain every step of the way yes. Again, unintentional big sister attitude.

Post-canon, she keeps in touch with Kabru and becomes a pharmacist, presumably living in Merini but there's no mention of the location, we just know she's kept touch because of a post-canon extra with Laios and Kabru. Her new profession supports that 1) Rin likes caring after others and 2) Rin never had an interest for anything about dungeon diving in itself. It's also ironic, since she was a offensive mage and didn't do healing.

Contrasts with Marcille, where to start... Marcille is optimist and rather open and Rin is pessimist and fully closed off, Marcille is social and smiles a lot and Rin is the reverse. Both of them have a caring mom friend attitude, but Marcille is more gentle and coddling about it whereas with Rin it's pure tough love, both of them do this to a often stifling degree (Falin, Izutsumi, Kabru). There's the contrast in their appearances too, and how Marcille dresses practically but Rin is more flashy, with an... Ambitious skirt cut? They're both elegant but in different ways, they're both very bold in fights, and stubborn and loud in their beliefs. Marcille was a more or less sheltered girl who learned magic in an academy while Rin learned on her own at the cost of blood and sweat. Both of them seem to have grown up in towns rather than cities, a more rural setting, since there were large fields and chickens roaming where Marcille lived and the little we see and know of Rin's town makes it seem closed on itself. They were presumably lonely growing up, Marcille had no peers because of her irregular aging and spent her time absorbed in novels, where Rin because of her family and culture/race was mistreated and avoided and it seems she spent a lot of her time focusing on learning things instead, perhaps paralleling novels with textbooks even in young age. Marcille lost one parent of natural causes and was traumatized by it to the point it became at the center of her life mission, and Rin lost both parents to murder and was traumatized by it to the point she avoids thinking and talking about it ever again. Both of them seek to learn, use and even create unconventional magic eyond the rules set by people. Both of them have cat energy, thank you for coming to my ted talk

Holm

Holm is actually rather mysterious. The biggest thing to notice here is that Holm has been to elven jail before, because his research was too close to dark magic. We have no idea of what his research was about at all, we have no details and little clear hints. He's a man of theorics though, it shows in how he talks about magic and spirits, and with his christmas gift exchange gift it shows how nurturing living things with magic really is something he enjoys and has interest in. It's not a lot to go off of, especially since we know canaries are trigger happy when it comes to dark magic, both arresting people who had minor brushes with it or that seem suspicious without any confirmed crime, and with elves exaggerating people's crimes so they become a canary for manpower. Who knows, maybe he is dungeon diving to try and subtly do research at the same time, but the way we get no hints of that and he just keeps working as a spirit user post-canon makes me think it's just work to him. He never mentions researching or seems to be studying something in the dungeon so it doesn’t sound like that was significant part of his reason for dungeon diving. So he had his run-in with authorities and decided to live more simply from thereon. But that could also just be because of the nature of dark/ancient magic and how it more or less poofed from the world after the demon left, too. With the truth revealed and ancient magic unavailable to channel anymore, research becomes less needed and viable. I doubt Kabru knows about his past. Again, much like Laios' party pre-canon, what got them together is work before anything else, with the added bonus of Kabru spinning an important narrative about conquering the dungeon to become dungeon lord.

His chill laidback, more passive and calm attitude makes him feel more vague and mysterious too, hard to get a good grip on, but he’s also the most mature and put together of the group. Very mellow. He's not quiet to the point of seeming asocial like Dia somewhat does, he just seems... Average, in the extra about his sister for example. And good at keeping secrets. His skeleton in the closest is the jail thing and that's that, seems like it put an end to his researching career and he’s now settled for being a spirits magic user as a job which brought him to dungeon dive. Nope sir prison isn't worth it I'm keeping myself into trouble from now on. What job can I do now though, my specialization is spirits arts... Dungeon diver, okay sure. It could be theorized that his usual attitude + his secret are a persona of sorts, where he keeps himself largely hidden and keeps people at an arm's distance. It's pointed out he freezes in the face of conflict- it shows he dislikes fighting, even being worried for the spirits he makes fight, and that makes me think even more that dungeon diving wouldn't have been his first choice. It could also be a good part of why he's so laidback and quiet then, passive. He dislikes conflict, so he avoids being in the spotlight also helpful skill to have when you've had run-ins with the law, and he has such the nice guy reputation that Mickbell doesn't think twice about crashing at his place in the middle of the night- and sure enough Holm lets him in and practically serves him. You could think him a doormat, but we see with the comic of him & his sister that he's very capable of being mad and agitated and go more on the offensive in a social situation, but yes he has that helpless -panics and wails while all his coworkers does things around him against his will- energy that's pretty sopping wet cat. He seems chill and cool but oh no he was actually the stressed overworked protagonist of a sitcom movie. My condolences for your life Holm. In general he's also a decently judgemental person, and although casually and often with a smile he has no problem "telling it like it is", calling out Mickbell's treatment of Kuro and talking about how Kabru can't clean for shit, how he'd "be willing to do anything to achieve his goals" and is too people pleasing, etc. He's confident in himself, and pretty set in his beliefs though we see him debate and compromise with Kabru.

His sister is the only personal relationship we see him have, but it's stated. She must live on the island too, considering Kabru visits her. The Island isn't exactly a place you're typically born in, so it's interesting to wonder what it means that both Holm and his sister would have moved there. Did their parents disown him after he got arrested over his research? There's nothing to say they did, but nothing that hints they didn't either, honestly, so Holm is a bit of a blank slate backstory wise as well. We know his religion's very important to him too though, and it affects his diet. His spirits are very dear to him and it's mentioned for example that he's raised his undine since basically the spirit equivalent of a baby, so it's implied he's been raising spirits for a long time. If his social life doesn't seem to be thriving, his spirits are definitely filling some of his social & connection needs as pets would. He does both healing and offense.

His contrast with the Laios party would be Falin since they're both healers lowkey doormats who notice the flaws in the people around them but don't act on them and prefer being passive and take upon themselves. They both love nature and were pushed by capitalism and rigid structures that prioritize conformity into work they aren't passionate about. The most important thing in Holm's life seems to be his spirits, and the most important thing in Falin's life are her loved ones, I'd say his enneagram is 592 while Falin's hmm, 926.

I ramble more about Holm in this kabuholm post and compile more of his moments, but it's more speculation than analysis, it's a take on him essentially. My personal verdict is- king of staying in his lane. He's here for work and he keeps his thoughts to himself to speak when it's necessary, he's not afraid of letting people have it outside of that though. The separation of professional and personal life is not going to great with his coworker occasionally imposing on his home lol. Reflecting his maturity, he lets others handle themselves and only steps in when he's needed. Hm, sounds like someone else doesn't it?

Daya

First things first: Daya or Dia? You'll probably have noticed I use Dia, and the reason is pretty simple: Daya/Dia is a nickname. Her official name is Diamond, but the shortening is always used instead- Diamond we have an official spelling for, the nickname we do not. Since it's in katakana (da-ya) and a fantasy world, translations call her Daya, but that's the same pronounciation as the "dia" in "diamond", and isn't it logical for her nickname to just be a shorter version of her actual name? We do know that Kui translates names to katakana being mindful of their pronounciation and not just spelling, like how Tims in Chilchuck tims is written as timzu. Yenpress the official english translator has messed up character names before and this even after official spellings came out, like Mikbell and Sissel, but notablyxthe anime english translation has also gone with Daya. But so, yes, I call her Dia, but of course there's no right or wrong here and by going against official translations I'm making things harder than they need to be. It's just...... Hard to unsee.......

Daya is very underrated for having such an interesting background! She was esentially raised in a cult? The "dungeon keepers". That protects dungeons, in that they keep people from going into it. She never knew why it was an important thing to do, and never questioned it, but as readers at the end of canon we now can imagine that they kept people from going into dungeons so that there would not be new dungeon lords and dungeons would not overflow. Ultimately, Dia fled her home and community because she refused the notion of marrying an older relative to have a child. There's a mistranslation from Yenpress that Namari is from the same tribe as Namari, when the original japanese sentence is just about how they're both from the same race- both dwarves.

No wonder with this background that she "has a slightly otherworldly air". She's very stonefaced and hard to read, but with the focus on duty and discipline she had growing up it's easy to see how she'd have become a somewhat emotionally constipated person in this way. She fell in love with someone of her choosing and is intent on marrying him, contrasting with the man she was ordered to marry back home. It's with a renewed interest in understanding what the life she'd spent so long upholding was about that she went back to work with dungeons as a dungeon diver, in her own words with the goal of understanding what they were protecting. In this way, it seems the marriage order was truly the thing that made everything snap and finally caused her to shake up her life, to look back and start questioning everything- and now she's free, she chooses what to do with herself and who to be with. It's said she loves her husband, and her husband seems very attached to her as well. Somewhat paralleling Chilchuck and his wife, we can imagine how nervewracking it must be to be the spouse of a dungeon diver, who faces death for a living. Dia is very independent and disaffected on top of it, so we see that her fiance feels insecure and even doubts she may cheat on him with Kabru. This insecurity is born from feeling like Dia doesn't need him- and so may leave him in the future. He feels neglected, and Dia probably doesn't show him love and how much he's valued in a way that he sees or satisfies him. That said, her fiance after a couple of cups and an hour with Kabru is shiwn to be very open and emotional, which would presumably complement her well. Dia seems unemotional but she does have her bouts of strong emoting, whether it be distrust, worry, frustration or even wonder- That said, she's not the greatest conversationalist around and I can definitely see her not really understanding how love, care affection and attention, is supposed to look like- Again, she grew up in an extreme social environment.

She's bold and fierce, confident, and notably very very strong. With training from a young age not only in discipline but in fighting she's a warrior born and raised. These are considered tomboyish traits, but I do like how Kabru and the adventurer's bible calls her a lady- she shows wonder at the treasure insects too! She's not disinterested in oretty things, or anything of the sort. We just have little window into her interests, since her life centers around work so much. She also calls out Mickbell for his mistreatment of Kuro, but also does nothing about it. She's quiet and is most often seen closing up the tail end of the psrty looking around for threats while they're on the move. She's quieter than Holm and also more standoffish. The queen of staying in her lane, if you ask me. We'll be talking more about it in the relationships section but you can already see this very interesting party dynamic forming of Rin and Mickbell having their nose all up in others' business while Dia and Holm are very permissive and quiet even while kabrin and mickuro look insane from an outside perspective. Who knows what normal looks like to Dia, though. She disliked Namari because her father made things rocky for dwarves on the Island for a while, so that can show how critical she can be and how her value of not sticking her neck out and staying put & not rocking the boat manifest/the why of it. Like in her home community we can imagine, you have a role in society and being overly disruptive can ruin things for everyone including yourself- even if the one who did the mistake was your parent the fault befalls on your whole family. Very strict hierarchy based outlook on society and community I think... It's interesting that despite of having been a victim of such behaviors herself, part of those faulty lessons stuck with her and she upholds much of the same fallacies.

All of this is very interesting foundation for a character, but yes not much else is developed on Dia and that's wher her story starts and ends- I'll make a diaholm post eventually that delves into her themes of freedom and emotional wallbricking but that's about it from me. I like to think that she likes her husband, but rushed into marriage- that going from a life where everything was structured and decided for her by others to having nothing but choice, from the prospect of marrying an old relative to anyone she chooses, she sort of picked the first guy she liked and made a move on her. Pure speculation, because I like exploring the side effects her upbringing would have had and this sort of detached attitude she has, with some typa off attachment style...

Fun facts: if the modern au christmas gift exchange extra is to be believed, Dia enjoys reading and has some books of her own. In a Daydream Hour she's drawn with Holm out of their work uniforms but she still has a sword at her hip, which may mean she carries a weapon with her even just around town. She has two younger siblings that she never mentions and we presume she left behind at home.

Mickbell Tomas

Okay okay okay now the true insanity may begin! Please refer to this post to see Mickbell's profile pages. Also see the bath comic for another great show of his character! I cannot make a mickbell collage for this there is no pic page umm ummmm additional compilation here.

Despite being an adult of 22 years old, even older than Kuro both literally and developmentally, Mickbell often acts rather juvenile. He tends to be very black and white, he wanted to steal the corpse retrievers’ stuff and was mad when Kabru didn’t allow it, he thinks Kuro talking to others will make Kuro leave him. He's judgemental (exhibit A: comic about Rin smiling) and critical (esp with Kabru). All means justify the end (him having fun, becoming rich) but if others do something wrong efficiency or annoying behavior wise you better believe he'll voice it. He’s very expressive, both in body language and words, swinging his arms as he walks and jumping and stomping the ground in anger. He also has a mischievous streak. He’s casual with touch, touchy feely if you will, and clings to Kuro a lot, both for safety and because he simply likes to. Cough cough separation anxiety and abandonment issues. He knows how to be serious however, especially when it comes to money or risky situations. He does his job well and does it conscientiously. In many ways he's similar to Fleki, if Fleki was more dedicated on the job. He may be very layered, and manipulative when he wants to be, but he seems to value in others the same type of directness that he has with emoting and interacting with others, as seen with his distaste for Rin being a tsundere. He's blunt and straightforward (whenever he isn't with Kuro or scamming), and in that way it seems those are values of his, which may be why he does usually gets along best with Rin, especially on the job.

He has loose ethics and likes to goof around but is otherwise often highstrung, reflecting Kabru's "relax a little" view of him. He's serious on the job- a contrast you can especially notice in the christmas exchange special. He had to steal and do scams to survive, again the christmas special shows he's good with money and making deals- mischievous and full of himself when he has to sell stuff and quick to flee when he smells trouble, but very focused when it comes to calculating costs and revenue.

Again, despite all his troublemaker toddler behavior Mickbell is surprisingly serious! It's still undeniable that he has capital i Issues, from being very uncaring about how others may see him and developing this "it's us vs the world" mentality with Kuro, to how emotional, exaggeratingly expressive and impulsive he is- in a way that lacks emotional regulation skills I'd even say, to what he says when something displeases him like "she'd be a lot cuter if she smiled more" about Rin after she doesn't laugh at his jokes... This all seems to point towards Mickbell having pretty bad emotional intelligence. You could even easily call him stunted. He doesn't seem very self-aware, his manipulation of Kuro is not something he can do solely unconsciously but it is genuinely debatable how much he knows he cares about Kuro, how much he's aware of what he feels & why, why he says what he says and does what he does. What would he do if you told him that trying to manipulate Kuro into thinking that everyone except Mickbell wants him in shackles and in pain and wanting to have a house and a nice domestic normal life with him is sort of mutually exclusive? I don't think he thinks about the wider picture like that, I think it'd cause some dissonance a bit. He thinks ahead when it comes to finance, but socially he seems to very much live in the moment, not really trying to anticipate how much others will appreciate his input or behavior or thinking about how he'll keep up the charade 2 years down the line. He wants to hustle his way out of being homeless, but in many ways he still has the mentality he had to have for running scams and surviving on the streets at his lowest, one day at a time, succeed this step so you can then succeed the next. In his mind he's constantly making charisma rolls on Kuro and he needs to not fail them.

Don't you worry Mickbell & Kuro is getting a whole section, buuut with Mickbell and Kuro both, character analysis is inseparable from analysis of the two's relationship. The ethics and circumstances of Mickbell working Kuro for peanuts are surprisingoy complex- because that is how Mickbell sees their dynamic, but Kuro sees it completely differently and assigns himself full agency in wanting to stay. Kuro obviously wants to follow Mickbell, and that’s what Mickbell takes advantage of unknowingly, what he thinks is Kuro’s helplessness. What I find much more alarming is Mickbell’s need to control not only Kuro's economical and social life but every aspect of his life. He’s not only overcontrolling, paranoid that someone will want to steal him away from him (both for Kuro’s sake but very transparently desperate to not allow Kuro to leave him as well- will get expanded on), but he also wants to isolate him. It’s no coincidence Kuro has no friends apart from Mickbell- the closest thing would be Kabru and even with him, communication can be difficult and Mickbell does interfere. It's not Mickbell's fault there is a language barrier, but it is Mickbell's fault that Kuro has amassed so few tools in navigating the world without Mickbell, but it is his fault that Kuro feels like he can't tell him he's learning common with Kabru, and it is Mickbell's canonical intent to render Kuro just that, powerless enough to need him- again I cannot overstate how it is straight up said and confirmed in the Adventurer's Bible that Mickbell mistreats Kuro the way he does because he's scared Kuro would/will leave him. Mickbell sees their relationship as employer-employee while Kuro sees it more as guardian & guy who needs to have one, but it is also said that Mickbell sees Kuro as family, and I do think that makes sense, and I do think it can't be overstated how on a deeper level it's Mickbell who needs Kuro, and that Kuro is Mickbell's absolute most important person in the world- his only person in the world, even, in many ways.

"Until he met Kuro, Mickbell was all alone in the world, so he seems to see him as family."

Mickbell is desperate for stable relationships, both seen with his clutch on Kuro and his wanting a house to settle in. Or I suppose, relationship singular, he seems very ride or die on the idea that Mickbell and Kuro are the only thing each other needs, he never seems to particularly try or want to befriend others, is a bit clammed up on himself. Distrustful, assumes bad faith, especially as we see with the half-foot union. Perhaps because he's never felt a sense of community where helping each other out of good will was a thing, survival made everything transactional living on the streets, so he has a hard time having good faith with organizations like unions, and this notion of relationships being transactional would have also shaped why he would frame his and kuro's relationship that way, as employer-employee. Not to say he doesn’t like socializing though, we see him work a room all self-satisfied and tell jokes in an extra comic, and he gets peeved when Rin doesn’t laugh at his jokes, he does like getting general social approval. As he isolates Kuro he also willingly isolates himself, and is ready to burn bridges or opportunities for him.

He's sleazy! Debate about egg or chicken all you want, but I think Mickbell running scams definitely shows in how manipulative he is in relationships as well. With the christmas gift exchange thing we see that he can do scams the straightforward way, selling an item to be much more than it us for an inflated price, but it is specifically said that Mickbell doesn't have half-foot pride the same way Chilchuck does and has no problem using his race to "curry favor", so I would think he's done the emotional manipulation kind of scamming as well, acting like a child in need or such. "If you can use something, you should" is stated to be his motto. Because in a life like his you don't have a lot, you seize the opportunities you get because it's a matter of survival and there's no ace up your sleeve dirty enough to justify not taking advantage of it. All this to say- Mickbell's most iconic scene is arguably his short interaction with Kuro here, and it's extremely blatant manipulation. The anime even ups this with the teary eyes and voice acting- the borderline tears followed by a grin shows just how conscious and intensive his manipulating really can get. Again there's a transactional lens he sees relationships through I think- and that plays into Mickbel scamifying his relationships up... Which in the end I do think he feels scummy over. Simply because, chaining someone to you like that is not something you do if you think you're lovable- if you're all that, if you're great and likable and worthy of unconditional love. That man can't believe in that, he can't believe in his life partner of many years choosing to stay if that didn't happen to be his only viable option. Mickbell lives in fear of being abandoned and it's in good part because the world has taught him he's not valuable on his own.

I think Mickbell lives in fear!! And I think that's deeply interesting. Makes sense for someone with such an harsh extreme upbringing as him to be hypervigilant, with food like with money the way he is with the party, he keeps grudges, both in his backstory extra comic and during canon. He lives in fear and distrust and all these little ways he knows toxmake himself feel more powerful than he is. And I think it's so, so interesting how when he finally accepted Kuro following him, inventing something about him becoming his bodyguard, it was because Mickbell just witnessed Kuro kill and maim a man and he was shaking, so afraid but also accustomed enough to violence and needing to bullshit his way through situations to tell Kuro things like "I'm your master" and for Kuro to just go along with it. Mickbell's is the art of faking it till you make it. Mickbell was afraid of Kuro then, and I do think Mickbell was scared of the idea of what this kobold man stranger could do if he decided that Mickbell wasn't his master after all, until his attachment grew and keeping the charade going was less out of a need for Kuro not to hurt him and more out of a need for Kuro not to leave him. So the fear of retribution because he did not know Kuro became a fear of abandonment when he did learn to know and love him- Kuro leaving him alone, the very thing he desired the firt time they met and Kuro followed him after Mickbell freed him. And this is why I made this web weaving about them this makes me ill good god. He lives in fear of being "found out" by Kuro in a way, for this scam of a relationship to be discovered so he only gets tangled up in his manipulation more and more to keep it going as the stakes keep rising and rising because Mickbell is only more invested with time- and he fears that Kuro would realize it one day but he also fears others will expose him, a big part of why he monitors what others say to Kuro, why he wants to be there whenever Kabru talks with him, why he's so scared at the slightest conversation had out of his hearing range. But! Part of it I'd say is also genuine fear that they could take advantage of Kuro, perhaps because due to his own taking advantage of Kuro and how readily the kobold accepts it Mickbell sees Kuro as a particularly vulnerable person, that he could get tricked by anyone, and let's remember that Mickbell met Kuro in a slave trader's cage- Mickbell's fear of others "taking Kuro away from him" is a double edged sword, it's 'them turning Kuro against Mickbell' but it's also what he always says about Kabru or others trying to 'kidnap' Kuro, what he says about how the half-foot guild wouldn't like his bond with Kuro and take him away from Mickbell. He's drunk his own koolaid in many ways. Separation anxiety and abandonment issues!!!!! Distrust at the world and feeling like he can never have nice things or be safe!!! And this plays suuuuuch a role in Mickbell's dream of having a house I think. Because a house is safe- a house means routine, means a place you can stay in and be protected by, is there a more emblematic symbol of stability and safety? In a house Mickbell is shielded from others' gaze and judgement, he's sheltered from the rain and he can keep food inside, he doesn't have to sleep with one eye open to not be attacked or have his things stolen through the night anymore, no there are four walls and it's warm and he and Kuro can live a peaceful life unbothered, away from the rest of the world that seeks them harm and wants them separated. Which hey that could parallel surprisingly deeply Chilchuck's feelings about a house actually, a house and family as something he has but that can be lost and destroyed- both in people leaving and in nightmares of home invasion.

But like Mickbell telling Kuro to stop snarling and growling because it's scary is such a good and fascinating example of this. How much of it is "it scares me" and how much of it is "you're damaging your own reputation, I'm scared of how people will react if you look too beastly and dangerous and what they might do to you- to us"? And this is especially true because Mickbell knows that kobolds are discriminated and how- for these years they've known each other Mickbell has been the one being the middleman between Kuro and the whole world- he's the one securing board and room for the both of them, noticing how people treat them and what they whisper about them, he's the one who gets told "this bathhouse doesn't allow kobolds" and he's the one who decides to leave and visit every bathhouse until they find one who does allow kobolds, becayse he's not taking a bath without Kuro. Mickbell is sticking with Kuro. They are ride or die for EACH OTHER not just oneway. Mickbell washes Kuro, he did that first time after they met each other and Kuro was a ghastly sight and very stinky, and he does now too, Mickbell patiently explains to Kuro how everything works, and when Kuro messes up something like getting Mickbell wet from shaking off water Mickbell gets mad but offers no punishment except chiding. In the bath comic, we see Mickbell spend HOURS brushing Kuro after his bath. There is immense care put into Kuro from Mickbell's end, as well.

"Now you're the cleanest dog in the whole wide world. No one can look down on you."

But hey, where did Mickbell learn "people leave"? That he’s unlovable and no one would stay for him? It’s a common fear that could be from anywhere honestly, whether insecurity alone or a very specific experience- but we do have trails we can follow... Mickbell lived in the slums of Kahka Brud, which he may have been birn in or interestingly enough since Kahka Brud is seen as a city of opportunities might have moved there. First of all, we have to wonder how he got into the streets in the first place. His relatives are listed as "unknown", but well, as a rule of thumb everyone has parents. Not even Kuro has "unknown" listed in his relatives section, and he's had cut contact with them for a long time by canon. What we know about the "relatives" section of Adventurer's Bible profiles is that it only lists living relatives, for example Marcille only has her mother listed, her father isn't listed as deceased and her step-father isn't listed there, meanwhile Kabru only has Milsiril listed, not his mother or even his father (which we don't know the status of, but Kabru doesn't know him either since he left when he was born). So what does this mean for Mickbell's relatives? Either he doesn't know what family he has, or he doesn't know if they're alive. It's not unlike how Kabru's name is stated as unknown, which either means he was renamed Kabru or that Kabru doesn't know just a part of it, like his last name- perhaps forgotten due to trauma, or his mother never told him due to their disowning them.

It could mean he was abandoned on the streets before he could remember so he doesn't know of any parent or caretaker they had, or it could be a lot of things. I do want to point out that both Mickbell and Kuro have "permanently out of contact" with their siblings, but Kuro still has his siblings listed on his profile, not "unknown". Since we get this info I do think Mickbell knew his sister, and I think it all lends itself to the "he doesn't know if they're alive" theory more. I mean, so much could have happened! But I think it's pretty safe to assume that Mickbell and his sister were on the streets together, until they were separated. Due to her messy hair and dead inside look I used to like to think she fell sick and as the older brother it fell on him to take care of both their needs and he couldn't manage to heal her before she died- or they were separated or something happened and he had to assume the worst. But something like some big event making them flee on their separate ways and then fail to see each other again, some other tragedy that made him part from her without knowing of her state... Or my favorite: one day she disappeared. Maybe he told her to stay there while he went to steal some food and he came back and she wasn't there, maybe one night she didn't come back to the alley where they always slept and she never did again, just. Did something happen to her? Was there an accident and she died in some ditch somewhere? Did someone kidnap her? Did she just leave him behind? He doesn't know. He doesn't know and he never will and he can't get an answer. And not having closure is almost worse than suspecting she's dead, or even if he knew it for certain. Because there's always a doubt. There'll always be that he doesn't understand what happened. There'll always remain that knowledge that things can just suddenly disappear one day, it'll be a normal day until it isn't, that people can leave, that everyone he's ever had (and there weren't many) HAVE left they're GONE and he's ALONE, and there'll always be that knowledge that Mickbell couldn't protect his little sister, couldn't even know she was in danger that time, if she was. Again in a way there's that parallel with Chilchuck where Chilchuck is very muh someone worried about the people he cares about's safety and has a protector role the best he can, and Mickbell usually is the one getting protected but he is very possessive and overprotective of Kuro, the one person he has. And just. Waughhhh. Idk if I'll make another post about Mickbell backstory speculation or his sister now if unprompted but for the record I like to call his sister Yukibelle/bella. Yuki because it means snow like deathly pale sickly skin, and it's a 4 letter japanese name, which being 4 letters 2 syllables suits half-foot names aaand most importantly, since Kuro isn't Kuro's real name and it just means "black" in japanese I like to think esp because of the language barrier taht that's just what Mickbell named him. And having no parents imo Mickbell would have named his sister, or even renamed her if she did have a name to spite whoever abandoned them...... In big brother fashion he likes to call her Yuckbelle. Ickybell and Yuckbelle the sublings ever. I was the one who chose your name so I can't make fun of it? Haha try again!........ I need to cope somehow guys. Having lived in the streets with the highest degree of life or death survival on the daily it's also easy to speculate Mickbell had other hardships and trauma like, say, selling his body and to people who are less than ideal. Just saying!! A lot of things you can resdy into his backstory that further explain or explore aspects of his character.

Unlike Chilchuck "I will never fight" Tims, Mickbell actually never fights. Like at all. Ever. His skills are clinging, cowering and getting covered, and giving orders. Both Chilchuck and Mickbell can be both mature and immature, but Chilchuck tends to embody maturity within the narrative and Mickbell is usually much more remembered as immature. Enneagram 6w7 (wants stability and simple pleasures & freedom on the side), same as Chilchuck. 6 is the fear of being without support and that's exactly what Kuro offers..... Very 8 as well, there's a case to be made about him being 683 like Chilchuck but I could see him be more of a 2 or 4 too. God he wants to be loved so bad. He's also quite tall but never mentions a diet to not set off traps, which may be because his diet is already poor. To me he seems like he doesn't care for culture at all having lived in survival on the fringe of society, similarly to him not having much half-foot pride, but he does smile as a dwarf so dwarves being the ideal body type still seems to be something he's in line with.

Post-canon, he opens a variety store with Kuro, and it's said his relationship with Kuro stays unbalanced. We don't know where it was opened, if they stayed in Melini or went back to Kahka Brud- but since Mickbell's dream is to specifically get a house in Kahka Brud's best neighborhoods and it's where he lived before on the streets, it seems to make sense house in Kahka Brud would still be his goal and to set up shop there. Not that we get an update on the house funds, the post-canon blurb is still in the near future after canon so their futures are still very much left open.

Kuro

Please refer to this post to see Kuro's profile pages.

Mickbell is so tragedy coded but Kuro is honestly... Like he's vibing. He has normalized the abuse (emotional manipulation & isolating the target both so that they need you for stability and emotional supoort + control their life and relationships are literally abuse tactics come on guys) but so much so that it appears both to Kuro and to us like that abuse has little grip on him, we see that he has more agency than we'd assumed. Kuro allows Mickbell to lower his quality of life way too much for sure, partly because Mickbell plays the part of vulnerable lil guy well, but what's so funny is that where Mickbell thinks he's being a mastermind all "🥺I was the one to save you from the streets, without me you'd be lost!! Everyone else wants you suffering, better stick with me!!😊" Kuro literally explains their relationship with "he's so pathetic and anxious, he needs me there :(" - which lends a whole new look to how pokerfaced Kuro always is when Mickbell is giving him his manipulative drivel lol. It flips the dynamic Mickbell was presenting because where Mickbell tries so hard to force their relationship to be that Kuro needs him, Kuro correctly identifies that it's Mickbell who needs Kuro- even more than for safety and financial reasons, because of emotional ones. So where it felt like their relationship was one where Kuro was fully tricked in that Kuro can only live by Mickbell's side for his own sake, Kuro wants to stay for Mickbell's sake and is well aware of Mickbell's issues and wants to help as a therapy dog would?? He doesn't care about the money or the food, he cares about Mickbell. The irony of it all is that Kuro could have left anytime, but stayed for Mickbell all along. It's easy then to assume that Kuro has it all figured out after reading the secret study session comic but that's also oversimplifying. Kuro seems emotionally intelligent in many ways- but sort of lacks sense in how it should be applied and how things should be, I guess is how I would put it? I still call their relationship abusive because it still is, Mickbell still isolates Kuro and manipulation is still the intent of a lot of what he says and does with him, and "well I know very well they're shitty but they need me" is a common dynamic irl in abusive and toxic relationships too, but it still reframes their relationship a lot to know that Kuro is not at the stage of "Mickbell is always right about everything and I'll follow him to the ends of the world because of it" but at the "this anxious miserable boy needs me and it's my duty to protect him". Mickbell is running a manipulation onemanshow against himself and Kuro is taking another path entirely, he has an immunity called language barrier lmao. /hj Kuro is hiding things from him Mick has no clue about, that he's having nightly study sessions with Kabru, but he's not hiding this out of a sense of fear but out of care.

Their relationship is based on misunderstandings and lack of communication, and that's due to a lot of things both the language barrier thing and how they tend to run with their own interpretations of things (Mickbell thinking he knows why Kuro stays, Kuro thinking MICKBELL IS A KID WHEN MICK IS OLDER THAN HIM). Kabru himself thinks that when Kuro becomes fluent in common and the two can truly speak together is when they'll really become fruends. It's a hopeful outlook! But it makes sense, because again their relationship is based on miscommunication, Mickbell is afraid Kuro only stays because he has to because Kuro can't reassure him that he cares for Mick, and Kuro only has part of the picture because they can't talk it out, so giving them the tools to truly be able to talk and understand each other fully would completely flip the dynamic. It's truly interesting how they only have each other, but even in their relationship they're both very isolated.

"I don't want to make him anxious if I can help it. He's still a kid, but he's been through a lot of rough stuff. I'd like to be somebody he can feel relaxed around."

So yes, Kuro explicitly thinks of Mickbell as a child he must protect and watch over, care for! He has a more mentor way to talk about it, but it's easy to assume Kuro sees Mickbell as family too. Especially since he has a lot of siblings, many younger! He has a bit of a protective instinct and thinks he should be a protector, simply because Mickbell needs him, not for other more grand or personal reasons. He takes upon himself, both duties and in general for everything, he can't talk with others but that's fine, he's a dungeon diver who gets worked hard and even fights and that's fine by him, he just takes upon himself incessantly, like with Mickbell he sort of shrugs and says it is how it is.

Kuro still thinking of Mickbell as a kid has interesting implications. During the main story Mickbell is 22 and Kuro is 18- how many years could they really have spent together? He left his hometown to see more of the world and was kidnapped at a port, so we could assume he left home after coming of age at 13. He was kidnapped at a port and was part of slave market on the eastern continent, where kobolds are rarer and thus probably more profitable, so it makes sense that he'd have gotten sent to the eastern continent straight away. Just travelling the sea can take a while- the world map makes me think the sea between the western and eastern continent is of Atlantic Sea size, which irl can take a little under a week to travel through at a good pace, but with the lack of navigation technologies compared to today if you're less sure of where to go it can be more around a month. Unlikely for Kuro to have spent all that long in a cage on a boat then, but where it could get messier is once he's on the eastern continent. Mickbell freed Kuro from the guy who was holding him in a cage calling him a demihuman trader rather than an owner, so Kuro wouldn't have gotten sold yet? Or traded between different slave merchants, I wouldn't be surprised if he changed hands a couple times without having been ever sold to a customer really. It's said that the Island has a slave market for example so there seems to be large demand in many places and for it not to be done in secrecy really. But their meeting happens in Kahka Brud let's remember- which is a city with a big economical growth and market & sompopulation due to the dungeon cluster there, so it'd make sense for Kuro to have been sent there straight. Kuro was obviously mistreated, shown to stink and likely starved not unlike Izutsumi's experience caged in a freak show, but he's not bony enough for me to really be able to give a time estimation of neglect and starvation with his looks alone. This is a lot just to say "Well if we assume he left home at 13 and was enslaved soon after leaving home, and the process of getting to Kahka Brud could have taken a month at fastest, he could theoretically known Mickbell since then". During canon they're both on the Island rather than Kahka Brud, but we have nothing to be able to tell when Kuro and Mickbell came to the Island, just that they came together and that he was probably hired when Kabru formed a party 2 years before canon. We can try to compare him with Chilchuck- Canon happens in year 514, but Chilchuck came to the island five years ago, when he formed the half-foot union. Comapring them is relevant because Chilchuck comes from Kahka Brud too, again the place with a cluster of dungeons, so Chilchuck and Mickbell choosing to come to the Island for dungeon diving prospects shows the same attitude that the Kahka Brud dungeons are already all pillaged and overworked and to seek dungeons elsewhere. And who knows, maybe Mickbell didn't really choose to become an adventurer, maybe it was just about fleeing Kahka Brud since that was where he stole and did scams, but dungeon diving does seem to be a desperate man's job in many ways so it makes sense either way. The way Mickbell talks about Chilchuck, I don't get the feeling Mickbell's been on the island for longer/as long as Chilchuck and for longer than the half-foot union's existed, which makes sense if we go by the "maximum 5 years ago" theory of Mickbell and Kuro's meeting. They likely stuck around Kahka Brud for a while before deciding to go for it and move to the Island. So I guess, we can shoot to say that they knew each other for a maximum of five years but a minimum of two? I like to think Kuro spent at least a couple of months enslaved and so I'd put my own estimate at around 3-4 years, which is already a lot if you're them. A looot of time to bond with the only person in your life.

It's a bit odd, usually in a character who's been stolen away from their home a goal of theirs would be to go see their family again, but Kuro never brings up anything like that. Whether that means his homelife wasn't great, or that he feels closure enough just continuing to travel as he wanted, or even that he more or less forgot because of the trauma, who knows truly. You'll notice his stated dream is to travel with Mickbell, which ironically is directly incompatible with Mickbell's dream of settling down and getting a house with Kuro to live in. Since he was kidnapped by slave traders at a port in his original continent, we can surmise Kuro always had a taste for travel. Kuro isn't even his real name, Yodan is! His detachment from his homeland, family and cukture is very interesting. He has no problem just leaving it all behind indifinitely.

So yes Kuro isn't his actual name- so "Kuro", meaning "black" in japanese must have been a nickname given to him, and I bet it was Mickbell. Being a half-foot and a kobold who can't understand each other, the language barrier made Mickbell just start referring to him by the color of his fur. Kuro never mentions his real name so it doesn't seem he particularly cares- which is a wider point about Kuro actually, that he seems to be very laidback and laissez-faire type, unbothered and passive. Things are how they are and he goes along with it. He's not a confrontational person but he also trusts his guts when someone like Izutsumi feels off. He never questions Mickbell. When Kabru inquires about him and Mickbell, Kuro goes "oh don't worry about it it's nothing tbh". Which is also in line with how it's stated Kuro doesn't give a rat's ass about honor or wealth, he doesn't really seem to have a moral compass as much as "Mickbell is what matters to me so only what Mickbell wants and thinks matters", he follows Mickbell's orders with blind devotion when it comes to work or what they decide to do with their lives and that's just well with him. This reminds me of Falin a lot, the way I perceive them. Just utter devotion to their loved ones without really caring for what's morally right or wrong- because love is the priority and loved ones' wellbeing and happiness are all that truly matter, and sacrificing themselves and their own agency to make that happen. Kuro overlooks his own needs because he prioritizes others', Mickbell's. I think his views on relationships and what’s normal are very skewed. That said, Kabru calls Kuro overprotective too, and I think Kuro can be very stubborn as well, and as we see with the comic where Kabru and him talk about Izutsumi's smell he's perfectly able to have strong opinions, he's not only the stoic type. Kuro's very coddling with Mickbell, and while I do think he's a nice guy I definitely think Mickbell is an exception where that's pushed to the extreme for Kuro, Kuro's fixated on Mickbell just as much as Mickbell is fixated on Kuro. Codependence has never been truer a word gdbdgd. Kuro is rather polite and conscientious, in a regular conversation you'd think he very well-adjusted, he's smart and very observant, not just aided by his nose but with how aptly he notices psychological aspects of Mickbell for example, he's eager to learn and hardworking.

Kuro's biggest interest and dream is referred to be travelling, he left home to do just that before he was ever kidnapped already so it's not even an acquired taste from being encaged. And that fits well with Kuro just following the flow imo, Kuro's wants like Mickbell are small pleasures in life like that, just walking around and seeing new sights... Mickbell wants food and a roof over his head and Kuro wants food and freedom. Ironically, their wishes are directly contradictory- Mickbell wants to live in a house with Kuro and Kuro wants to travel around with Mickbell, Mickbell even has his dream of a specific neighborhood. But it is very notable that both their dreams mention the other, whatever it is they end up doing they want to do it together. Post-canon, he opens a variety store with Kuro, and it's said his relationship with Kuro stays unbalanced. We don't know where it was opened, if they stayed in Melini or went back to Kahka Brud- but since Mickbell's dream is to specifically get a house in Kahka Brud's best neighborhoods and it's where he lived before on the streets, it seems to make sense house in Kahka Brud would still be his goal and to set up shop there. Not that we get an update on the house funds, the post-canon blurb is still in the near future after canon so their futures are still very much left open. Just wait until Kuro learns common...! That'll solve everything........!

I tried to go extensively into his parallels with Toshiro and Izutsumi here. Hmm 7w6? Noo 7w8 actually god... Too real... Get me out of here the Mickbell and Kuro double whammy is making me need a smoke. Soooo many characters in Dunmeshi have this theme of learning to live for yourself be comfortable in your skin and get in touch with your needs and desires more Kuro!!

Relationships

: Overlook

Ok THIS is the fun part. So I made this chart as sort of a summary- we'll especially be looking at the personal bonds and work besties relationships through sections, but that's not to say those dynamics are the only things going on. I tried to keep only the basics and essentials, but you could also totally have added a Kuro to Kabru arrow mentioning how Kabru is teaching him common, or one from Mickbell to Holm about how Mickbell crashes at Holm's place occasioanllu. I made the purple lines based on what we see in canon, but it’s totally possible that Rin also judges Mickbell and Kuro, and that Holm and Dia judge Kabru & Rin as well, even though I don’t really think so, not particularly.

And that's what I’m getting at here: their party has a lot hanging in the air that everyone is more or less aware of but don’t truly acknowledge aloud, don't speak about or resolve. Holm and Dia needle Mickbell about his treatment of Kuro but don’t actually do anything or push, Kabru tries to help by teaching Kuro common but seems to be content "meddling" in only small subtle ways over time like that doing just what he can, concludes that the relationship mess goes bot hways and decide to just keep an eye on it quietly, meanwhile Mickbell seems tired of seeing Rin and Kabru bicker over her crush when Kabru teases and they argue, but doesn’t think to have a tal kabout whatever the fuck it is they have going on- it’s routine, it’s just how things are. It's commonplace- so their serious accusations about Mickbell are mentioned a grand total of twice and that's that, and only Mickbell out of everyone acknowledges aloud that Rin and Kabru have a weird thing going on and that Rin is weirdly deoted to Kabru/loves him implicitly. Everyone is much more ready to comment on Kuro & Mickbell than Rin & Kabru- which, absolutely deserved yes, but are what Kabru and Rin have not intensely weird behavior. Would you not get a headache trying to understand what's going on there and listening to their flirting and scolding and arguments on the regular. Do they never get "this needs to stop"? No, only Mickbell? Okay

Made this lil collage above but it's notable that the whole party throws casual jabs at Kabru all the time also, whether about how he can't take care of himself or how obsessed or weird he can be. Although everyone has respect and trust for kabru, they're also all fairly comfortable criticizing him. We see this in the shapeshifter "what if" comic too- his party members often find KAbru too extreme and overly dedicated, but ultimately trust him and follow his lead. Dia keeps her nose out of things but beyond hater duo Mickbell & Rin, even Holm comments regularly on his people pleasing and bad cleaning and organisation habits. Paralleling the Laios hater duo of Marcille and Chilchuck in the main party, Rin and Mickbell are especially critical and harsh on Kabru, here's a short and incomplete compilation to illustrate the point. Do they do fuckall about it though? No not really.

Everyone at some point or other shows concern for Kuro, it shows they don’t default to treating him as furniture or a tool after a long time of working together, they value him, but there’s always a third party barrier through which they have to interact, Mickbell- except for Kabru who can communicate with him on Kuro's own territory and have alone time with. But no one except Kabru and Mickbell even try to talk to/with Kuro, and you could also easily argue Kuro is not fully humanized, there's how no one except Mickbell worried for Kuro here for example.

I want you to imagine being Dia or Holm. I want you to imagine what it must take for there to be not one but two insane dynamics in your party amongst your coworkers, with who your job is so to camp with for weeks at a time, and not even blink at it anymore. I want you to imagine being kind and queen of staying in your lane and having these two obvious codependent situationships amongst your coworkers and just go "if I don't acknowledge this things are gonna go more smoothly". Save them get them out of there. Just the occasional long suffering sigh and "Mickbell that's not right :/" and yes, your job here is done.

You really start seeing this pattern looking closer where their party are fraught with interpersonal drama. The will-they-won't-they casanova leader & his angry tsundere childhood friend and Mickbell and his "employee" he exploits and isolates from the wider world??????? Truth of their relationship aside as we've discussed, this is how people around them perceive their dynamics and the optics are insane (/negative hello). The true doom of Kabru's party is all this interpersonal drama going on??? The very thing Chilchuck fears about parties lol, HOW has this party not imploded on itself yet. And personally I think that's a good part of what they contrast with the main party about- Where Kabru's party failed, Laios' party succeeded because they talked their differences out, they challenged each other on topics they disagree on and argued, instead of always just brushing everything under the rug. The reason canon happens at all is becase under the emergency of the situation Laios decides to be vulnerable and come clean about his interest in monster cuisine after all, and yes judgement and racism is rampant at first, but they reach an understanding through open communication. Meanwile, Kabru's party doing social 8d chess.......... Just keep on making passive aggressive comments forever see where it gets you.

This party also has a running theme with unabalanced and onesided relationships, and emotional dependence/burdening. It feels weird for it to be so weirdly intricately developed and consistent even though it does nothing in the main story- except for strengthening the whole diverse living cast thing which is important to the lesson and theme of people coming together despite differences is good, and like, "you can't judge others' relationships and sitations without knowing them" you know, but. It's here man it's here and present and too loud for me to unsee. Rin is dependent on Kabru and there's an argument to be made about the reverse being true as well even if Kabru is emotionally unavailable, and then there's the codependent Mickbell & Kuro mess, and even Dia and her fiance are faced with some unbalanced relationship and emotional unavailability. So our lineup is kabrin, mickuro, Dia & fiance and Holm who has a barely breathing social life. I suppose the latter's not uncommn though, the same can be said with most of Laios' party including Namari and Toshiro.... But good lord. This combined with how Dia & Holm get along together the best does make the party dynamic really funny though in a vacuum, everyone's going razy with intense tea meanwhile Dia and Holm the quiet judgers who glance at each other like do you see this shit. You are the only one normal here. (One has researched illegal magic and the other grew up in a cult.)

To me it's also really interesting Kabru hiring Mickbell and Kuro especially. Kabru is someone who works off reputation a lot, he has his homegrown informant web called gossip buddies and whatnot, and we know that while he's willing to go to questionable lengths for his beliefs, he has a pretty strong sense of right and wrong where stealing from people who ripped you off and repeatedly led you to death was a no-no. With all the shit Mickbell is catching even now about his slave- ehem, business partner, I doubt Mickbell would have seemed anywhere squeaky clean. Kabru hired a pretty blatant morally loose person who has stolen and scammed- and I think that's very interesting. Was Kabru desperate for party members? Maybe with Dia and Holm, believing in his cause was important-? No no, it's more likely the other way around- only desperate adventurers (or the ones who specifically want Kabru as their party member) stick to being in his party, with all the failures it experiences. Mickbell and Kuro are the only on who don't express loyalty to Kabru, so maybe Kabru's party was the only party willing to hire him- especially if he and Kuro are a package deal where they both get paid. And there's how Mickbell isn't affiliated with the half-foot guild too! Which means no work protections for him but also no salary cut? But yes yes, especially with the way he treated the corpse retrievers you'd think he wouldn't want anyone shifty on his side, but there's also the side of Kabru that loves to help others out, both on a societal and an interpersonal level- and I like to think that despite Mickbell obviously being from a rougher crowd he not only saw the two of them for the skilled people they are but also just, saw they were in a tough spot and wanted to offer a chance y'know? I had a convo about that once where I asked my Kabru expert friend what they thought about Kabru's grasp on socioeconomics and helping out people who are in tough situations for circumstances beyond their control, because you'd think Kabru would be understanding but then with the corpse retrievers, who seem Not Well Off and are comprised by many mixed races individuals like a half-dwarf and a half-gnome........ Helki and Mickbell are alike in many ways and it's interesting to think that may have played a part... Kabru seeing this disheveled obviously sketchy down on his luck Mickbell and being reminded of the only father figure he's ever had in his life, another blonde smartass with a ponytail, an ex-convict from a rough criminal background… And wanting to hire him to help him have a chance to get out of that place lowkey... I'M JUST SPITBALLING!!!!

Anyways so getting back to the crux of the matter, this is how the party naturally divides up with each other, the same kind of way Laios & Senshi and Marcille & Chilchuck did especially early on.

But the interesting thing is that Kabru keeps everyone at a distance, Rin included, so how does it divide up when Kabru and Rin aren’t interacting? She stays alone? Nope, oddly enough she seems to gravitate towards Mickbell. And the reverse is true- which makes sense since his partner isn’t a good conversationalist. Mickbell doesn’t really see Kuro as an equal, Kuro is his beloved fool he's tricking on the daily in his mind after all, so he doesn't seek out Kuro for opinions, because unlike Rin Kuro isn't a peer. In the page on the right notice the second panel, everyone gives each other a silent glance and this summarizes the dynamics here really well. Kabru is telling his plan of keeping going and this is everyone's moment to agree or disagree. Holm and Dia look to each other, more neutral. Rin and Mickbell look to each other, seeming more displeased, and Kuro looks to Mickbell. In that second of gauging each other's feelings through a glance, their resolve and opinion gets steeled and everyone tells their feelings after, Mickbell and Rin more reluctant. On the left you can see who sits next to who, who walks next to who in the party formation- Rin is always right next to KAbru but Mickbell is at her side, with Holm following without attracting much attention to himself and Daya closing the group on the lookout for threats. Mickbell & Kuro and Rin & Kabru as actual friends impotant in each other's lives tend to duo up, meanwhile Dia & Holm and Mickbell & Rin are more like "each other's favorite coworker" than actual friends, so Holm and Dia don't even necessarily stick together, at the risk of being third wheels. In fact the christmas gift exchange is a good character writing moment with everyone, if you want to look at their gifts and reactions.

So yes this explains how I divided up the chart, the duos are Rin & Kabru bond, Mickbell & Kuro bond, Mickbell & Rin coworker besties, Dia & Holm coworker besties.

Rin & Kabru

I made a rather in depth post on their relationship recently, specifically trying to nail down whether or not Kabru could have/had romantic or ambiguous feelings for her beyond/instead of "big sister":

It's a good look at it that covers most of the matter and has much, much more pictures than I could otherwise put here, so I'm allowing myself to go over this section faster here and summarize things.

Their relationship is obviously very onesided and... Needy, for a lack of a better word, because Rin is clingy and Kabru is probably her one friend in her life currently- but it's always been that way anyways hasn't it, did she have anyone else at the elves' too, did she have any in the village she grew up in that hated her family so much they killed them? She's overbearing and hovers over his shoulder for mistakes when they're together, but her reason for doing so is out of worry for Kabru, that because of his ambitious and self-neglectful tendencies he'll get himself into trouble, and she's not wrong about that! Kabru holds himself on his own currently, but it's not hard to see a future where he slowly descends into neglecting himself more and more in his focus on his work, but no currently he's still able to endear his landlord into cleaning his room for him and to put himself to sleep with alcohol. The relationship is onesided because Rin's always the one pushing and Kabru never truly opens up, but their relationship does have push and pull too- Kabru does pull sometimes. It isn't like Kuro simply passively enabling Mickbell's issues and bad behaviors, but in many ways encouraging them. Kabru flirts with her. He jokes and he teases in ways that come dangerously close to acknowledging aloud she has feelings for it, and never turning her down despite it being clear to us he has no intent on ever reciprocating them- He leads her on, whatever his intent is. And I go into possibilities of how and why in the separate post a lot, but overall I'd say that it's because he does need her back in a way too. It's that repressed desire for connection that rears its head with Laios and even Mithrun too. Maybe they're an ill-fitting match, but it's what he has, the friend he's had for the longest- Like I like to say, seeing Rin as his best friend is so sad and tragic but it’s also not wrong. From what we see she’s the closest to him, which is sad to think about. How can a guy’s social life be so thriving yet down in the dumps truly. She completely relies on him for purpose in her state in canon and dumps her emotions and issues on him, but he does play with her back and avoids his emotions and needs through her too. He has the uer hand in their dynamic, was even the one to ask Rin to come along with him when they left the elven kingdom. She's a fixture in his life, she's a safety net, she's someone who'll love him unconditionally, who even if he mistreats her a bit he knows she'll stick with him. He sees her as a big sister, after all. He knows her tough love is love. Does he give her jokes to latch onto as his way to keep her in check, or to make sure she'll want to keep following him? He can't bear to bare himself to anyone, but if it's Rin, she knows infinitely well how Kabru isn't perfect, constantly reminds him of that, and where in every other relationship he tries to be or has people believing he is perfect, with her he can be a little rotten, a little inconsiderate- and idk idk man. I don't think there's really a conclusion we can get to with them, but a lot of their dynamic feels just very. Mutually unhealthy. Like self-harm almost.

And like, look at the picture of them dancing below! Just it alone implies a dynamic already. They balance each other out somewhat, because they're severe about different things, Kabru encourages her to let loose socially but Rin keeps him from getting too full of himself in his own corner, because she always keeps calling out to him specifically, to the Kabru she knows and that he knows she knows- though maybe doubts sometimes. They both keep each other from being too caught up in themselves- but both of them are also frowning here. They also enable each other in very bad ways imo and inadvertently push each other into their bad habits, nagging Kabru makes him retreat into his shell even more and approach their relationship calculatingly or even coldly knowing of her feelings for him, and getting all the attention from Kabru in a way she doesn't want- because she can tell he still has his walls up- makes her more frustrated and it's all just a bad cycle of feeding each other to continue just as the status quo is. Rin nags him so Kabru throws her a bone so Rin nags him etc. But they're also genuinely dear to each other, maybe more iut of memories than because of the present, so they can't really let go of each other. Fucking doom tango fr

My take on Rin being particularly severe on Kabru, beyond just being worried that any mistake has a dangerous cost for people like them, is that like. She knows Kabru, from way back, and she sees his persona, how he tries to be perfect for others and caters to everyone's needs except his own, how he keeps himself hidden like that. And she doesn't wang Kabru the persona, just Kabru the person, the man she loves- and he's trying to be perfect but it's futile, and it just makes him more cardboard cutout, he's being fake and it just makes her so angry how he keeps his distance with her, so at every turn she tells him when he's not perfect, at every turn she reminds him of his flaws, as if to say, "you can't be perfect, just stop". And every flirt he sends her way during the story makes her madder because again she knows it's just empty air to toy with her, so she scolds harder. Like I don't think she's a self-aware person in general, so I think she mostly just feels this as sadness completely masked with anger that drives her foward and makes her impulsively say things, and she thinks what she says is right and she's being righteous, but also there's just this gaping void in her at the state of things, there's frustration whenever she sees Kabru smile a plastic smile at others all the time, and she doesn't know why. And the only worse thing is to have that plastic smile targeted at her- but it makes whenever he offers her more genuine unprompted attention all the more precious, like in the comic about her smiling.

They kept in touch post-canon! But it seems inevitable to me that the change in their lives made them grow a bit more distant, not working together all the time anymore. Rin figures Kabru is being taken care of by now, being a part of the royal court, and goes to pursue her own ventures, but they're still friends and that shows with Kabru inviting her to the castle. Rin can't help herself but to visit him once in a while to see if he's still breathing I bet- I do think she has a bit of a "only I don't get fooled by you (especially when you say you're fine)" way to think about him and their rekationship, a big of why she'd say the "Don't think everyone's going to fall for you". Anyways, it is fun to theorize Rin might be a pharmacist often hired by the castle hehe, but yes yes that's all we get info wise. Here's to hoping she mellows out some

Mickbell & Kuro

So, their relationship is more messed up than Kabru and Rin's, but it's less up in the air/free grounds for interpretation, much more directly explained. Their character profiles & extra pages alone give a really good look at their relationship and both their perspectives of it: Kuro's family that Mickbell has to find ways to chain to himself or he feels insecure, Mickbell to Kuro is a vulnerable kid that he chooses to look after and go the extra mile of being mindful & considerate of said insecurities. I already talked about it a lot in the Mickbell & Kuro sections, and the post I linked above has a longer but more compact analysis of them- but yes yes I'll still cover the essential and the new here. I said it earlier but Mickbell needs Kuro more than Kuro needs Mickbell- Kuro is like the entirety of Mickbell's emotional regulation 'skills' lol, where Kuro needs Mickbell in a material sense where Kuro wouldn't be able to communicate well with others or go far without money and Mickbell, Mickbell needs Kuro because otherwise he'd be shattered- not to say that Kuro isn't also very useful to have around for his muscles. Both of them are very physically and mentally vunerable both, the pyramid of maslow is not being met on any level eesh. Kuro needs a compass and Mickbell needs an anchor, both of them needed a purpose in the day to day life of survival and both chose each other for that- protect Mickbell, and buy a house with Kuro. The human mind thrives off of goals, desires. Again this thing with compass & anchor is very reminiscent of Falin with Kuro, the way she centered her life around others, so much so that when she was a mentally compromised chimera she defaulted to that way of being with Thistle. But they're in that spot very similar to them where one is especially very mentally vulnerable and easy to control whereas the other is very physically vulnerable if the other were to decide they've had enough and go murder mode on him. It's the dog loving the chain on its collar.

How long have they known each other? Who knows, but I estimated it between 2 to 5 years, between when Kuro became an adult and when Kabru formed a party- but even those are just guesses. I also think he named Kuro, since Kuro's name is actually Yodan and "kuro" simply means "black" in japanese, with the language barrier Mickbell wouldhave just started nicknaming him by the color of his fur.

It’s important to remember how they started: Mickbell saving Kuro and Kuro saving Mickbell, Mickbell freeing Kuro out of spite which made Kuro follow him and then Kuro saving Mickbell by maiming the guy who had kept him in a cage and was threatening Mickbell, prompting Mickbell to suggest hiring him (while being broke) as a bodyguard, half out of fear half out of seizing opportunities? And we'll get to that but this is a good way to understand why they're both so "It's us vs the world", they both came from a similar situation surviving in the slums together but even before that they had the same man for enemy, Mick helped Kuro out and Kuro helped Mick out in turn, and they stuck together. So that’s the origins of Kuro being "his employee" that he’s working for peanuts, it’s less disingenuous and eager than we’d expect, the attachment Mickbell formed to Kuro was over time, eventually associating Kuro with both safety and companionship. Meanwhile Kuro seemed ride or die very early, being saved helped I’m sure, but remembering that Kuro thinks of Mickbell as a child to protect also helps frame why Kuro would be so ready to devote himself to guarding him- seeing a small vulnerable "kid" in all this danger, constantly surrounded by threats and famine. So in the end, a big factor for their relationship is that they can’t communicate for shit. For several reasons including language barrier, overly controlling and dehumanizing behavior/abuse tactics backfiring- and emotional constipation. They both have preconceived notions and they both just.... Don't really know each other. I don't think Mickbell even knows his name- Kuro thinks he's a kid! They don't know each other, but they also know each other in the way of familiarity, in the form of having spent years inseparable glued to each other. Mickbell doesn't know Kuro's name and Kuro doesn't know Kuro's age, they don't know the other have siblings they have cut contact with and they don't know each other's dreams, they've never had an actual conversation especially on equal grounds, but also they know each other's mannerisms. They know each other's favorite foods. They know the sound of each other laughing and crying and the feeling of each other's warmth. They know each other but they also don't know each other at all!!!!! Crazy crazyyyy dynamic.

The "it's us vs the world" is so so strong with them especially from Mickbell's end, and can you blame him? Can you blame him when he's been kicked down like a dog all his life and he sees that in Kuro too? And perhaps no one else can ever understand Mickbell and know and stay with him like Kuro does, even when they can't even have actual conversations. This is it for Mickbell, Kuro is all he'll ever get in his mind and he's intent on never letting go, he's all he'll ever get and us all he wants and he cannot, will not, ever, let him go.

And the whole snarling-growling thing is very interesting too, especially since that's contrasted with Kabru (scroll down here for pictures). Mickbell has little experience with kobolds beside Kuro but also his first impression of Kuro was seeing him bite and maim a man to death. Kabru has experience with kobolds from his homeland where they're seen as more serious threat than cute doggy people, where there was fighting and rumors and presumably contact too since Kabru learned some of kobold language and he was only 6, AND Kabru has trauma with monsters and beasts in general. When Kuro growls, Mickbell goes "hey I told you to stop growling that's scary :/", and Kabru goes "Kuro, what's wrong?". And this is sooo so fascinating to me. Part of this already is again the language barrier, Kabru can ask Kuro to comfortably explain the issue where Mick cannot (he could still try though since Kuro can still speak some albeit broken common), so with Mickbell Kuro only has body language that doesn't come naturally to non-kobolds to communicate with- but Mickbell dismisses it as regularly as he doesn't. Part of it for Mickbell is having been on the other side of Kuro when angry, having seen how scary he can be and afraid himself- but then why? Does Mickbell still get scared of Kuro when he snarls and acts like that, the way a lot of us flinch when someone gets mad and yells? Does Kuro feel more unpredictable then, and that's scary for many reasons? Or maybe it's because he's scared of the way others see Kuro, that others will dehumanize Kuro if he emotes in ways like this. From where they come living on the streets, looking wrong at the wrong guy can cost a lot, so Mickbell may have extra developed a sense of keeping your head down at the right times and not provoking when risky- and he can't fully control Kuro so when that choice is out of his hands things feel a lot more shaky. Of course though in any case, growling or no growling Mickbell sticks with Kuro, keeps holding onto him when he snarls, it never crosses his mind to step away from Kuro or leave him behind, consequences or uncertainty be damned. Just, the justified concern mixing with the unhealthy possessiveness and controlling, the genuine fear... It represents their wider relationship pretty well in just one example.

He fucking sticks with Kuro with the baths!! Many bathhouses don't accept kobolds but Mickbell tirelessly keeps looking for one who will, Mickbell and Kuro are a PACKAGE DEAL and it stays that way even when it's inconvenient for Mickbell. Mickbell washes Kuro and spends hours brushing him afterwards with immense care and patience, there's effort there on his end too there is consideration and love!! They are sooooo ride or die!!!! "Now you're the cleanest dog in the whole wild world, no one can look down on you"!!!!!!

They have incompatible dreams of the future, Mickbell wants to settle down in a house and Kuro wants to travel, both want to do it together. My thing with Mick & Kuro post-canon is the only ways I see it develop and go down is: 1) Kuro becomes able to easily converse with him and their relationship changes with a lot of rough bumps but slowly and surely towards something better and/or 2) Kuro leaves to travel here and there while Mick manages the house, they’re still in a life partnership but they’re ok being apart for a while now. Mickbell learns that leaving doesn’t mean there’s no coming back and to live beyond each other ykyk <3 But while Kabru himself is hopeful that when Kuro becomes fluent in common Mickbell and Kuro can "really become friends", their post-canon blurbs break our hopes for a near future resolution, specifying that Mickbell "still works Kuro hard". They open a variety store together! I like to call it Mick & Kuro's knick knacks <3 Does Mickbell still keep his prices and product descriptions dangerously close to being scammy? Possible! He's earned it though he has his own store brooo his own building his own business... I know that shit got him emotional We do see that Kuro gets him to be healthier slowly but surely though- in the last chapters we see him push Mickbell implicitly towards the half-foot guild! Kuro is protective but not possessive and he encourages Mickbell to get out of his shell, reflecting how he talks about Mickbell as someone needing support and gentle care & understanding- he was being real about noticing his issues and wanting him to become happier.

Once upon a time back in my early days of shipping mickrin I entertained the thought Mickbell's attachment to Mickbell may have a romantic nature mixed in as well, whether it'd be "genuine" or maladaptive's too complex for me to say- but what was funny is that even in that case to me nothing changed. I think that in a world where Mickbell likes Kuro romantically, he would neverrr ever make a move because he'd be too terrified Kuro would dislike it and leave- so instead it just gets lashed out in different ways and he vents & seeks that out in other people kinda hoping it'd be Kuro or whatever. Kuro's too precious to risk is the thing. "It's us vs the world" and if Kuro leaves then is when he would be truly alone- like I mention in the Mickbell & Kuro I linked I think Mickbell is very afraid of change. It's why I think the possible future of Kuro learning to talk common well would be rockier than we'd assume at first- and I think in that fear of change is the fear of changing the nature of their relationship and lowkey even the fear of deepening it- What if Kuro starts actually understanding what Mickbell always says and decides Mickbell is stupid and unlikable after all? What if Kuro starts talking and Mickbell doesn't like what he says? What would Mickbell do if Kuro started being more inquisitive, asking more questions and requesting more things? Mickbell is terrified of Kuro having agency and it's for a reason!! Mickbell lowkey dehumanizes Kuro as a possession sometimes because that's less scary, because Kuro being a full person with his own wants and thoughts detached from Mickbell is scary!!

Mickbell needs to be Kuro's whole world- because if Kuro got a taste of the rest of the world, everything else there is beside him- beyond him-, then how could Mickbell possibly compete with that? How could Kuro choose Mickbell over the world? And the irony of it all the thing that gets me choked up is that along it was never a competition, the world has always been Kuro's love, travelling is his main interest, and he wants to travel it with Mickbell- The world is wonderful and Mickbell's presence doesn't take away from it but enriches it, makes the world even more valuable and treasured and life more enjoyable and full and god. God!!!!!

So yes these are insane coworkers to have and this is the dynamic that has Dia and Holm side-eye Mickbell and ask him when he's planning to free his house elf. Imagine having a group project in school and these dudes are in your group.

Rin & Mickbell

The hater duo, no 1!!!! Dia & Holm is the second one but they can't hope to match these two's intensity and hater aura. This is our moment to breathe we're getting back into Kuro & Mickbell madnedd after

I compile their most relevant interactions here, and you can also see a small compilation of them combining their hater powers on Kabru here. There'S a lot of things that make them really fun to pair up, like how they're easily the top 2 most unpleasant bitter Kabru party members and how they like each other best anyways lol, or how they're both in a codependent situationship- and they both have similar defense mechanisms of most things getting filtered through anger, but what's especially interesting is how they're different in the worst way, in Rin's codependent relationship she's the one who gives and devotes herself, the self-sacrificial one, and in Mickbell's codependent relationship he's the one who takes and takes, the self-centered one.

That's already me getting lost in the sauce though because these two are just coworkers and that ends there- in fact with the tavern comic about Rin smiling we see that they get along much more at work than outside of it. I think why they get along is exactly that blunt and critical nature of theirs- Neither hesitate or bother with politeness or little games to say what they have on their mind and when something's a bad idea- it's why with even just a "you see this shit?" glance at each other they get steeled and soothed into reluctantly agreeing with Kabru, "Well, if Mickbell/Rin is okay going along with Kabru's plan, it must be fine after all... Not that we won't shoot him with laser beams with our eyes". Like I said earlier even though Mickbell can be manipulative, but he emotes very strongly and openly and is very blunt as a rule, he seems to value in others the same type of directness that he has with emoting and interacting, as seen with his distaste for Rin being a tsundere in the same tavern comic. You could reach and theorize his distaste in Rin acting all happy because Kabru complimented her, despite her still being very sour, is also from a feeling that she's being easily manipulated, which could be interesting... But yes yes, and similarly Rin is drawn towards someone who is similarly severe with high standards and who's very cautious with plans and money, and with her distaste for Kabru's own playing around and fake politeness it's interesting to think she'd find someone who's authentic to the point of being unabashedly unpleasant refreshing. So yes yes, they're united in haterism, and they look to each other for opinions, and they sit together, and when they meet Laios' party with Toshiro's Mickbell tugs on her (the only other who took a hard stance on wanting the "thieves" to pay) dress to go "hey you see these bastards?", and when Rin casts waterwalk on the party it feels very familiar- which shows still how much familiarity the party has developed together. They don't get together to have a laugh or have fun, but they seem to be each other's favorite coworker and be often on the same wavelength, easily understand each other's thoughts from even just a glance.

You can feasibly theorize Mickbell has a crush on Rin and is jealous of Kabru for it, considering he's always hanging around Rin when it isn't Kuro, how he hangs onto her on the regular, when he sighs seeing Rin and Kabru argue because Kabru flirted, when he's always on Kabru's case, when he's the only one who brings up Rin & Kabru's relationship, when he gets frustrated she doesn't laugh at his jokes and says she woud be much cuter and more charming if she smiled more- which we see Mickbell beam at. Misogynistic energy? Yes. No one said Mickbell hasn't some incel tendencies in him lol. I don't think that's the intent though and all these things can be easily explained by other stuff, but all of these together make it a coherent angle, if you so wish for it. Mickbell lashing out at those he likes because he's insecure when he doesn't have their full attention who'd have thunk! The mickrin manifesto is coming another dayyyy though I can't get more sidetracked

Kuro & Kabru

I already went into some things a bit like Kabru's reaction to Kuro growling despite his trauma wit hbeasts and experience with kobolds' nastier side, and I have a post where I let myself ramble about the two of them here- I'm sorryyyyy I'm sorry everything is so interconnected I can't not repeat myself and link stuff!! But once again I'll cover the bases here- In a non shippy light but also the original post is 90% parallels and analysis too

So their relationship is really interesting in many many ways. Kabru is teaching Kuro to speak and write common in secret, which shows many things already. In the party he's by far the most considerate and caring of Kuro, we see him listen to Kuro's worries about Izutsumi also. We see him ask Kuro about his opinions, for Kuro that's revolutionary, we see him take Kuro's concerns seriously and extensively talk about them and he accommodates with talking kobold as well. For being the one with monster & demihuman trauma, he's the one who humanizes Kuro the most- perhaps because it forces him to take Kuro seriously and keep in mind the whole of him, not only appearances or behavior, in an hypervigilance and "I know what you are" way, if that makes sense?? We see Kabru's urge to spend time to give a voice to the voiceless, to help this one dude, his coworker living in questionable circumstances. And all of this, again, despite his trauma, despite him saying it's best to assume communication with demihumans is impossible in the kobold extra!!! Do see the irony!! And many say that Kabru only said that because it was the Touden siblings and he wanted to say anything to make them think twice about blindly approaching the "cool cute desert dog people", but even if that's fully the case I still think it's interesting that he'd be willing to throw demihumans he spent his early childhood coexisting with under the bus like that- in a way.

He's giving Kuro knowledge... Teaching him like Milsiril once did- the thing he himself most grateful to her for. From one disempowered person to the other he's teaching societal survival skills. He's tutoring Kuro on his own best weapon: words. And he does this in secret, with no laurels and no reward, at night on the regular. I think their dynamic really goes to show just how much Kabru cares about others, how even though he sees Kuro as more "photorealistic" and less cartoony than the others, both because he knows the dangers of kobols and he takes them more seriously- and inadvertently emphasing on the beastly animal side taking away the endearing exaggerated features..... Even then, he's so so very considerate, and kind, and he cares, and how much he wants the world to be better and equal and for everyone to live well. And this shows in how the nightly sessions are also a way he gets to interact with Kuro away from Mickbell's eyes- This is where Kabru inquires about their relationship and learns about Kuro's vision of things. Whenever Mickbell steps in Kabru immediately folds, makes himself as non-threatening and unimposing to Mickbell as possible and steps away without resistance to ease his worries, but when he's away Kabru and Kuro can actually talk. And Kuro does open up to him, and hearing his thoughts Kabru learns about them andconcludes that both of them are overprotective over the other- He sees that the issue and the overattachment isn't oneway, and acts in kind. Kabru keeps an eye on them, as seen also with the end of the extra about Izutsumi's scent, helping in the ways he can, subtly through acts like helping Kuro learn common so one day he and Mickbell may talk.

Kabru is likely the closest thing to a friend Kuro has currently, beyond Mickbell. Which is crazy to think about!! But also man I want you to imagine them having their late night study sessions, talking about their home the western continent together for a bit. Kabru gets to talk about the desserts he couldn't talk about in the elven kingdom and Kuro recognizes them, in just talking about the weather they find so much commonplace, in traditions and myths and habits and ways to be- And maybe from where he's from Kuro's heard of the evil eye as well, knows that tallmen with blue eyes are rare and seen as bad omens, disowned and chased out of cities, but Kuro offers no judgement and so Kabru offers none in return. Like their arrows towards each other are "kobold" from Kabru to Kuro and "he speaks my language", and that's so crazy!!!! That's so little but that's so crazy!! And I truly cannot handle typing these thoughts again so just scroll down here but my god my god!! The heartwrenching isolation of them.

Ah yes- there's also something to say about how only he and Mickbell don't follow Kabru with any solid sense of loyalty! Everyone else praises Kabru's cause and says they're there for him to achieve it, but Mickbell stays quiet on that lol and almost walks out at one point- and then Kuro very straightforwardly says that he'll follow Mickbell whatever he decides- As much as Mickbell is Kuro's "employer" Mickbell is Kuro's leader, Kabru might be the team coordinator in his eyes and he does respect him, but the only cemented in loyalty he has is to Mickbell. Ironically, he's also the one who rates him as a party leader best! At a high 95% score. Which still shows just how much Kuro likes and respects Kabru... And also might show how low his standards are, since the party keeps dying under his lead- Kuro hasn't had great impressions of bosses and workers' rights after all- like with people's behaviors and living conditions and whatnot he has bare minimums standards, a very low bar, like him thinking of Kabru as "The guy who speaks my language!" something that should be so normal, being able to communicate with someone in a language you're comfortable and fluent in, has become something exceptional and precious.

Kabru & Mickbell

Okay this one is sooo interestingly layered. So there's a lot that goes into Mickbell's onesided beef with Kabru- I can try to summarize it as that Kabru seems effortlessly charismatic.

Part of it is as Mickbell puts it here and here, that he's afraid Kabru will steal Kuro away somehow (and that's without knowing about their study sessions). Kabru is so charismatic and likable, and kind something that as we se Mickbell tends to approach with suspicion- nothing in this world's free. Believing that Kuro only stays with Mickbell because he has to and that Mickbell successfully fools him, it's not hard to see him being afraid of Kabru "telling Kuro stuff" that'll convince Kuro or turn him against Mickbell, "he's a smooth talker, don't let him kidnap you"! It's again that belief that Kuro is easily fooled mixed with Mickbell's belief that no one could choose him over others if they had option- who wouldn't go for the cool and handsome charismatic witty tallman? Even his fave coworker who's just as severe as him is all wrapped up around his finger after all. And then there might be more general jealousy at work, about Kabru being an ideal with all these qualities and how well off he seems despite being broke too, Mickbell possesses so few qualities and his party leader that he finds incompetent on top of everything else just has "every quality given to him on a silver platter" or whatever resenting drivel Mickbell would think up. And then yes there's as I put it, the incompetence- Kabru and Mickbell think & operate in very different ways, Mickbell is very direct while Kabru is very indirect, Mickbell is very practical while Kabru is very guided by ideals- they have very different conceptions of "the end justifies the means", very different goals of self-serving vs greater good. They have different morals and views on retribution with the corpse retrievers, he's the one who pushes most against Kabru's plan of keeping going into the dungeon even after things go wrong and so he's the one who gets his concerns dismissed by Mickbell most, alongside Rin. Like with Rin he seems to see Kabu as reckless and as someone who takes things too lightly, which as someone who takes his job very seriously is frustrating, and like with Holm and Dia too he seems well aware of his flaws with people and his "fakeness", which doesn't endear him lol. Also someone stubborn- which from someone stubborn to another is always a sign of a great war incoming lmao.

And I do want to reiterate the beef is onesided!! Kabru is maybe even the most charitable and patient with Mickbell. As much as Holm let him and Kuro crash for a night, Kabru was the one to give him the money to go to a bathhouse. You can see his look of concern at stinky Mickbell in the first panel lol.

Again I'll share this comp of Mickbell and Rin being on his case, to see some examples! And my personal favorite:

And notice the Dia-Holm sideglance in the next-to-last panel. Is it a "he spitting some truth rn" or a "Ahh Kabru is on his corny shit again"? Wouldn't you like to know lmfao

Daya & Holm

You looove to be unbothered and uninvolved in the love square happening. The hate triangle if you will (Kuro isn't involved in that one he dgaf). You looove to just give professional opinions on the party's plans and that's it, you love keeping things to yourself and being a quiet pillar of the party rather than anything showy or flashy. I just love their side-eyes I just love making them quietly judge everyone especially togther, "you are my partner in sanity" fr.

Even together they don't have that strong a bond, like with Rin & Mickbell it starts and ends with their work dynamic pretty much. Still, consistently over and over again when the party divides itself into subgroups naturally, these two gravitate towards each other. As above a Daydream Hour shows them hanging out (off-work considering their outfits?) and points out that they're the party members "closest in age", 58 and 76 respectively, the oldest beside them is Rin at 24. Developmentally, with just proportionally comparing their lifespan to tallman's and calculating in kind Dia would be 23 while Holm is 30, so this thing about being closest in age seem to be about them both being longlived races, thus having a more similar sense of time and outlook on the world for it. They do seem to be all around the most mature and well adjusted of the group- although those appearances can for sure hide some deep flaws we just haven't been able to truly notice.

OTHERS?

These are the ones I felt were worth commenting on but they all have litle dynamics between each other, with Mickbell & Daya the least probably, for example if you want Holm & kabru thoughts I made a ship post about them and compiled most of their interactions. Like, I do like to summarize Holm @ kabru as "i won't talk about it but damn you live like this??". Holm @ most of the party actually lol. Holm has bigger fish to fry anyways, like Mickbell, who already outranks Kabru there and then crashes at his house on top of it. Holm and Rin often team up to talk about magic, when shopping or when Kabru asks something.

Daya and Holm have less strong & deep dynamics because they have less ties, simple as, they keep themselves less entangled in what's pretty much office life- yes they're willing to risk their lives to dungeon dive with th party, but that's as with any adventurer, as with everyone desperate and unstable enough to have it as their main job. Rin is tied to Kabru so that gives her importance, but Mickbell and Kuro have each other so it gives the party dynamic around them a lot of layers already, their personal lives are more shown during canon and extra because of it, meanwhile Holm and Daya both keep to themselves much more and their personal lives are only hinted at in extras, they don't have drama on the regular in front of the rest of the party the way the others do lmao.

Conclusion

Kabru’s party is in a bit of a weird spot in the main story- I think we can agree they’re characters that feel largely forgotten by the story after a point, and don’t matter all that much. I do think they have a narrative purpose, but. It's all about Kabru and setting his character up, similarly to how Namari was to give Marcille growth and Toshiro was to give Laios growth, it offers us an early Kabru to compare middle and late Kabru with when it comes to relationships and alliances, and with how much they fail and the few scenes they have where Kabru has his mask on and even coldly rebutts Rin I think we're supposed to see the flaws in his way to lead and work in team, where Kabru changing on that end would be for the better. They're a window into Kabru's shortcomings in teamwork and social life, his status quo at the startof the story. Laios' team was as successful in the main story because they truly came together, became friends who revealed their authentic selves to be stronger even when they worked together and were all very different from one another- but what Kabru does is try to hide and compensate for flaws, especially his own, and he hides things from his party and he keeps himself at a distance from it. Laios wasn't all that different with his party pre-canon, but where in the emergency of current events Laios shed pretenses at the risk of being disliked and rejected by others, in early manga Kabru instead tightens his grip on trying to control the party- why Kabru pushes his party members into his plans with less and less care for their opinions with his rebuttal of Rin as the peak of that- until he even lowkey isn't all that motivated by his party members being hostages lol. Like- am I making sense??

Analyzing labru vs kabumisu interpretations of Kabru is honestly very interesting because the two ships' fans seem to often have a completely different take on him. Kabumisu fans tend to emphase on Kabru's need for agency and empowerment and labru fans tend to emphase on Kabru's need to learn to compromise and not taking everything upon himself only, and see like, both are true both are good, and which of the two ships you like more depends a lot on these subconscious little differences in interpretation you naturally develop I think, because while I'm a double agent I myself prefer labru a bit and I naturally lean towards the "Kabru has lessons and change to do" angle, where with kabumisu often the focus is on not Laios gaining understanding from another but Kabru gaining understanding from another. For Kabru to grow vs to be validated, for him to finally feel safe and comfortable, and that to be achieved either through growth or through comfort, though both through understanding one another. It's about trust it's about understanding others on your own terms vs theirs it's about how being willing to open up and delve in relationships makes your understanding of people better, truer!! Understanding others, debatably the biggest theme in Dunmeshi!! Anyways don't tell the fandom I said that

In the wider meta narrative- Dunmeshi has a big theme of conforming and fitting into society, all its main character have that as a big theme- Laios being a misfit, Marcille being a half-elf, Chilchuck being a half-foot in a bigoted society, Senshi being an exiled hermit, Izutsumi being a beastkin… The experiences are varied but it’s an universal theme, everyone has things they're ostracized for somewhere or other. And I think all of Kabru’s party have a facet, variance of that that’s interesting, one that’s less about social acceptance and finding your place like Laios’ party but has a bigger focus on economical struggle, Kabru and Rin are to put it very short powerless child refugees, Mickbell and Kuro are dirt poor, Daya was threatened to fit into a strict mold and Holm was put in jail for academic studies. They have codependent relationships and emotional unavailability all around in different ways, there's isolation as a theme there too. That also is largely a Dunmeshi theme. Does no one have a fucking healthy good thriving social life? A good work-personal life balance? Being in touch with yourown needs and feelings perhaps? The triforce of things you can never have all at once in dunmeshi. But all these similar yet different hardships, all these people with hard to pin down exteriors- it's all about understanding too. How can you judge without first understanding, you know?

They're doubtlessly minor characters, but they're also part of that large tapestry of diverse people that's needed for Dunmeshi to do what it does, thematically and narratively. For that final battle to have so many different people come together to fight on the side of humanity, for all its habitants for all the facets of people in it, together. "If even one thing had been missing, we wouldn't have gotten here" as Kabru puts it himself in the next-to-last chapter. This is Dungeon Meshi, everything is interwoven, it's all a web because our environment shapes us as much as we shape it.

They get sidelined by the story. much like they were by Kabru- but he does have their loyalty, like how Laios' party stuck together through it all, even Chilchuck and Izutsumi, and when it's time for the final battle they're there to help and it matters, they matter. Relationships, trust, goes both ways, it shouldn't be onesided. If someone proves genuine why not try opening up? Kabru's party always trusts him and show up when it matters- Because to put full trust in another is terrifying and risky, but sometimes it'll pay off, and still always they take that step to trust their leader. Trust and love and care isn't a transaction, earned or not, and all you can do is try to appreciate it and repay it in care. In the end Kabru's party reminds us of those things, that despite everything we all need someone.

[cakesunflower]

lovelorn (and nobody knows) [rafe cameron au fic] chapter 19

Summary: Isla Carrera had planned for the summer before college to be focused on three things: helping out at her family’s restaurant (the helpful daughter), preparing for college (the good student), and having fun with the Pogues (the loyal friend). But one fateful night, where her car breaks down and her rescuer is none other than Rafe Cameron, seems to send her summer down a path she didn’t see coming–one teeming with a secret, illicit romance with the last person she expected. And if her friends and sister found out, Isla isn’t sure they’ll be so understanding, no matter what her feelings are.

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18

A/N: happy reading! comments & thoughts are always appreciated! <3

The morning is quiet as Rafe ventures out onto the balcony, the early chill making goosebumps rise on his skin as she settles down on the couch. The mug of coffee is warm in his hand as he sips, head turned towards the view overlooking the backyard and pool area. The sun is slowly rising as Rafe checks his emails on his phone, responding to anything urgent while saving the others for later. He’s wide awake, having gotten in morning work out and shower in, and has some time to kill before he needs to get ready for work.

He pauses for a moment after finishing checking his emails, a faint smile tugging at his mouth as he goes into his photo album and proceeds to change the lockscreen of his phone. He easily finds one of his favorite photos of Isla; one he took during one of their secret outings as they were walking, her hair tied back and lips a deep maroon, pulled back in a smile that showed off her dimples and made her eyes squint, chin lifted as she grinned at him while tugging on the strap of her bag.

She looks beautiful, adorable, and happy, not a care in the world. Rafe’s chest tightens as he stares at the photo of her—of his girlfriend—before setting it as the lockscreen picture of his phone. Now that their relationship is no longer a secret, he can do it like he had wanted to the second he took that picture. He loves her smile, can’t get enough of it. He’s a little obsessed, but with a girl like her, how can he not be?

“Hey. Good morning.” He looks up, surprised as he hadn’t heard footsteps approaching the sliding doors, and Rafe sits back when Sarah appears, hair slightly disheveled and an oversized sweatshirt, probably John B’s, drowning her frame.

“Hey.” His jaw clenches. He sees Isla’s teary eyed face in his mind, and though he knows Isla said that Sarah had come to her defense, it’s not so easy to forget how broken Isla looked yesterday. “Didn’t know you came home last night.” She spends most of her time at John B’s, and since she’s eighteen now, their dad lets her have her freedom.

Sarah clears her throat, stepping out and slowly moving to the chair opposite of him. “Yeah, everyone was asleep by the time I got in,” she says, sitting down with her hands sliding down the tops of her thighs to rest on her knees. Their gazes meet and Sarah’s shoulders slump slightly. “Isla told you what happened yesterday?” she asks carefully.

Rafe puts his mug down on the table with a slow inhale, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. “Yeah,” he answers evenly, gaze locking with his sister’s. “She was crying, Sarah.”

He sees her face fall, the regret evident in her brown eyes. Rafe is angry at how her friends found out, pissed that Topper interfered and fucked things up for Isla. He knew she was already so stressed, so anxious about telling her friends about their relationship, and had been waiting for the right time and right way to tell them. But Topper ripped that chance away from her, and she was more or less ambushed by the others. He hates that he wasn’t there for her; Rafe knows, as Isla said, it could have possibly made things worse. It could have had her friends on high alert and refusing to let their guards down if he was present. But at least he could have been there for her when she was being attacked by some of the people she loves the most.

Rafe could tell, just by the look in her eyes, how hurt she was, how upset. Her friends not hearing her out had been a blow. Honestly, Rafe has his friends, but after seeing Isla’s reaction yesterday—and what he knows of the Pogues—he knows that he’s never had the kind of friends that she has in them. It’s always been obvious how tight knit that group is and he can only ever admit it to himself, but Rafe has found himself, at times, being jealous of what they have. He wishes he had those kind of close friends, that kind of loyalty. For all of the shit he’s given the Pogues over the years, their closeness is always something he has admired.

So, to know that he’s the reason why, for Isla, it has gotten rocky—it physically pains him. He hated to see her cry; he’s angry that her friends reacted that way, even if it was expected. He’s desperate for them to be okay with their relationship; not because he wants their approval on his own, but because he knows Isla wants it, and he wants whatever she wants.

A part of him wonders if, if it came down to it, she would leave him to save her friendships. Truthfully, Rafe doesn’t think so—he doesn’t ever want to doubt her. But if she loses her friends because of him, because of his history with the Pogues, especially the guys, how would Rafe be able to live with himself?

“Everyone’s just. . . Shocked, you know?” Sarah says, breaking Rafe out of his thoughts. He blinks and refocuses his gaze on Sarah, who is playing with the blue threaded bracelet on her wrist. Matching to Isla’s yellow. He knows Kiara and Cleo have matching ones, too. “No one saw it coming and—how did it even happen, Rafe?” She shakes her head and Rafe’s throat locks when he realizes his sister looks awed, if anything. “How did. . . When did you start liking her?”

Rafe clenches his jaw, looking out beyond the railing, squinting slightly against the morning sun. His pulse quickens as he debates on his words to Sarah—words he hasn’t confessed to Isla. Not yet, anyway. “I think I always kind of liked her,” he murmurs, absently wringing his fingers together as he feels Sarah’s gaze burn his cheek. “I kept that to myself because I didn’t exactly get along with your friends. But then I’d see her smile and it just. . . Knocks me on my ass every time.” Rafe lets out a quiet, resigned chuckle. It’s the truth, though. Isla is gorgeous in ways that she could bring a king to his knees; her smile, though, is the first thing he noticed about her. Full lips pulled back to show the dimples that frame her mouth, showing off the apples of her cheeks and straight teeth, and the way her eyes squint a bit when she grins big. It’s a breathtaking sight—and one of Rafe’s favorites.

He focuses his gaze on his mug of half drunk coffee. “I knew she was too good for me, too kind. Hell, she still is. But then I saw her at your birthday party a few months ago and something shifted. I saw her hanging out with Wheezie and that was it for me.” Rafe looks at Sarah, who is gaping at him. The corner of his mouth tugs up as he shrugs. “She had me way before she even knew it.”

Sarah stares at him for a few long seconds, no doubt processing his words as she blinks slowly, lips parting. “I—” She stops, shaking her head as a disbelieving breath escapes her. “Wow. I had no idea it was like that for you,” Sarah says quietly, almost sheepishly. Like she’s embarrassed for doubting. Rafe can’t exactly blame her, but it still feels good to prove her otherwise. “Everyone kind of just assumed. . .”

She trails off with a shrug, and Rafe narrows his eyes. “Assumed what?”

Sarah twists her lips to the side, obviously hesitant, and Rafe clenches his jaw as he waits impatiently. “They assumed you were just using her, I guess?” She cringes when she says that, and Rafe knows it’s because his expression has darkened by her words.

“Using her?” he repeats tightly. If he clenched his jaw any more, he’s fairly certain his molars would crack. “What the fuck would I be—”

“It doesn’t make sense to me, either,” Sarah jumps in, in a tone that’s meant to calm him down. 

But Rafe has been pissed off since yesterday, the second he saw tears in his girlfriend’s eyes. He’s fighting the instinctive urge to confront her friends, give them a piece of their mind. He doesn’t give a fuck what they say about him—but they can’t get away with how they had treated her, best friends or not. Hell, as her friends, bringing her to tears was not fucking okay, and the only reason Rafe hasn’t knocked down the door to the Chataeu is because he knows Isla won’t want him to do that.

“They’re just angry and confused,” Sarah continues, tucking a lock of dirty blonde hair behind her ear. “Rafe, you’ve—” She sighs, trying for a helpless sort of smile as Rafe sits quietly, listening with his jaw working. “You all don’t get along, right? And that—that’s an understatement.”

His muscles are tense. “I haven’t done shit—”

“I know. I noticed,” Sarah cuts him off, eyebrows rising. “I think they just have the habit of looping you in with Topper and Kelce.” She winces while Rafe scoffs, leaning back with his arms crossed. “But all of you never got along growing up, either. There’s a lot of history there that can’t be forgotten so easily, you know? Y’all have thrown way too many punches at each other to pretend it never happened. And, trust me, Isla pointed out that they’re not innocent in that, either.” 

Despite himself, he feels the corner of his mouth lift at the mention of his girl defending him. Sarah notices. “Besides, you weren’t too thrilled when John B and I started dating, but you. . . Tolerate him now, right?” she asks, her voice taking a hopeful lilt. Rafe presses his tongue to the back of his teeth and dips his chin slightly in a single nod. “It’ll just take some time for them to come around to this. It’s a shock, right? No one saw it coming.”

“They need to apologize to her,” he says tightly. Rafe doesn’t care if they accept him or not—as long as they’re respectful of his relationship with Isla, and accept that she’s happy with him. “Making her cry is not fucking okay, Sarah.”

His sister nods. “No, I agree,” she says before silence descends, and when Rafe glances at her a second later, he catches her watching him with a look on her face he can’t quite describe. Confused? Thoughtful? He can’t quite make sense of it.

“What?” he asks, sounding more put-out than snappy.

Sarah’s expression softens, her lips pressing together in a knowing smile as she tilts her head slightly. “You really like her, huh?” she asks, her smile widening slightly. “You’re so protective of her.”

“She’s my girl,” Rafe says unabashedly, proudly. “The last thing I want is for anyone or anything to hurt her.”

“Good,” Sarah says with a nod of approval, getting to her feet. Her smile softens, then, more gentle as she looks down at him. “I’m glad she’s got you in her corner. As surprising as this relationship is, I think you guys are good for each other.”

Rafe’s head snaps towards his sister, unable to keep the surprise off his face. When Isla had told him yesterday that Sarah had come to her defense, Rafe had been relieved and glad, for sure. His relationship with Sarah had never not been good; it had just gotten rocky when she first started dating John B and hanging out with his group, simply because of Rafe’s own history with them. But what he had told Isla was true—he sees how good John B is to Sarah, and how happy she is with him. Whatever Rafe’s issues were with them, he can acknowledge the truth when he’s faced with it.

He had hoped the same could have been said for Isla’s friends.

But actually hearing Sarah say that she thinks he and Isla are good together, basically giving her approval. . . It feels better than Rafe would have thought. He’s glad to know that Sarah is on board with this, no matter how surprising. 

When she turns to leave, Rafe watches her back for a second before he blurts, “You and John B are good together, too.” Sarah stills and then glances at him over her shoulder, her eyes slightly widened in surprise. Rafe tries not to shift uncomfortably where he sits; truthfully, he’s only ever been truly vulnerable with Isla, but he wants to get better at it with others. For Isla and for himself; starting with Sarah. He pushes past his awkwardness, his hesitance. “I mean it. I see how happy you are with him. I’m sorry I ever gave you shit for it.”

A few beats of silence pass, Sarah no doubt processing his words, before a breath escapes her upturned lips. “See?” she hums, smiling. “She is good for you.”

*****

The blades of the fan whirr on the ceiling of Isla’s bedroom, and she half hopes the rhythmic spinning will lull her back to sleep. If she strains her ears, she can hear her parents downstairs in the kitchen, but she can’t quite hear her sister, and Isla doesn’t want to. She has no doubt that an argument is going to break out between her and Kie the second they see each other, and Isla doesn’t have the energy to deal with this. She doesn’t want to argue with Kie, and Isla knows that she might just go off on Kie if her sister says anything against Rafe. Which she definitely will.

But, God, Isla just doesn’t want to face Kie, period. Her sister didn’t stick by her, didn’t come to her defense at all. Kie, of all people, was someone Isla thought she could rely on. No matter Kie’s issues with Rafe, Isla had genuinely thought—hoped—that her sister would be on her side when everyone else came crashing down on her. Isla can’t entirely comprehend the pain that flares every time she thinks of Kie not siding with her—which is a lot, since that confrontation at the Chateau. Kie just let the others attack her—let JJ attack her. That isn’t lost on Isla, and she doubts she’ll be forgetting it any time soon.

Her phone beeps, pulling her out of her thoughts, and Isla reaches for it, disconnecting it from the charger and looking at the screen. She smiles at the sight of Rafe’s name.

From: Rafe🤍

Morning, baby. Hope you have a good day at work. Would it be totally fucked up if I visited you at work for lunch?

A breathy chuckle escapes Isla, heart fluttering as she responds.

To: Rafe🤍

hiiiii. it’d be fucked up if you DIDN’T visit me

She doesn’t care that Kie’s working today, too. Doesn’t care that it might just be the shift from hell, working with her sister for a few hours after yesterday’s shitshow. Isla’s not going to let that stop her from seeing her boyfriend whenever she wants.

From: Rafe🤍

Yes, ma’am. I’ll see you around lunch time.

To: Rafe🤍

okay, have a good dayyyy

She lets out a sigh, unable to stop herself from smiling. Texting him, unsurprisingly, lifts Isla’s spirits enough to get her to kick her comforter off and get up from bed. After quickly making her bed, she heads to the bathroom and freshens up, wanting some breakfast before she gets ready for work. Which means venturing down to the kitchen.

As Isla exits her room and heads down the stairs, she silently prays her sister isn’t around, but those prayers were in vain when she sees Kiara in the kitchen with their parents. Anna and Mike are behind the counter, cooking breakfast, and Kie is sitting on the other side on the stool, her back to Isla as she eats. Isla tenses, freezing where she stands in the threshold of the kitchen. She has half a mind to turn and go back up to her room when her dad spots her.

“Hey, honey. Come eat. We made pancakes,” he tells her with an easy going grin, waving the spatula to the counter where the stack of pancakes rests.

From where she stands, Isla sees Kie’s shoulders tense as she sits up and Isla’s throat works as she slowly, reluctantly, wanders further into the kitchen. She warily eyes Kie’s back, approaching the counter and sitting on the stool at the end, keeping some distance as she refuses to look at her sister.

The tension in the room intensifies as Isla places two pancakes on her plate, pouring maple syrup over them before she begins eating as her parents talk amongst themselves by the stove. Isla doesn’t look at Kie as she eats, the clinking of their utensils against the plates ringing with the tension that radiates between them.

Clearing her throat, Isla asks, “Mom, can I get some coffee?”

Anna nods before jerking her chin at Kie. “Kiara, pass the pot to Isla,” she says before turning back to talk to Mike.

The coffee pot is sitting right by Kie’s plate, and when Isla’s gaze slides over, she sees Kie continuing to eat breakfast while scrolling on her phone as if she didn’t hear their mom. Isla stares at Kie for a beat, hoping that her gaze will burn her sister’s cheek, but Kie keeps ignoring her and Isla’s jaw clenches. It’s easier to be angry than hurt as she gets off the stool and storms around Kie .

“Unbelievable,” Isla mutters as she snatches the pot.

As she walks back to her seat, she hears Kie scoff. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Excuse me?” Isla demands, standing by her stool and putting down the pot, arms crossing as she stares Kie down. She’s vaguely aware of their parents’ conversation ceasing to look over at them. “If you have something to say, Kie, then say it.”

“Really?” Kie asks, spinning in the stool until she’s facing Isla. She narrows her eyes challengingly, head tilting. “No, thanks. I have nothing to say to you.”

“Girls—” Their dad tries to cut in, but Isla speaks over to him.

“Guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” she says to Kie, shrugging her shoulders. “Since you had no problem letting the others talk to me that way and you didn’t say shit to them.”

Kie’s lips purse, nostrils flaring before she lifts her chin. “They were only telling you what you needed to hear,” she says. Then she lets out a short, humorless laugh and adds, “They were being honest with you—something you weren’t.”

Isla’s chest tightens, teeth pressing together to keep her lips from trembling. “I was going to tell you guys, but Topper beat me to—”

“You think this is about whether or not you were gonna tell us?” Kie asks, eyebrows pulling together as she gets to her feet. “It didn’t matter when you told us, or if—” Her glare sharpens and Isla damn near feels the sting of it. “This is about the fact that you’re dating Rafe Cameron.”

Anna lets out a breath. “Kiara—”

“Of all the freaking guys in Kildare,” Kie continues, staring at Isla in disbelief and contempt, “you chose him? Are you seriously that desperate? It’s pathetic—”

“Hey!” Anna exclaims, walking around the kitchen island to stand between the girls, her expression one of disapproval as she stares at Kiara. “That is not okay, young lady.”

But Isla—the air has stilled in her lungs at her sister’s words. Desperate. Pathetic. The hurt pangs through Isla’s chest and she has to stop herself from physically taking a step back. That’s what Kie thinks? 

She thinks Isla is desperate? Isla’s throat locks up, but she swallows it down as Kie responds to their mom, “She’s dating the biggest asshole in Kildare, Mom! She—”

“I don’t care—you do not talk to each other like that,” Anna says with a shake of her head. 

“What the hell is going on?” Mike asks, staring between the three of them in bewilderment. Isla presses her teeth together, knowing that her mom had kept her word and didn’t tell even her dad about her relationship with Rafe.

Isla tries to ignore the rapid beating of her heart, expression going flat to keep the hurt out of her face, her voice. “Rafe and I are dating. Kie and the others disapprove,” she tells her dad flatly. She sees the flash of surprise on her dad’ face before looking back at Kie. “And I don’t care.”

Kie scoffs, eyes flashing as she shakes her head and cuts their gazes. “Yeah, that much is obvious,” she says.

Isla knows she’s getting nowhere with this. There’s no reasoning with Kie when she gets like this, stubborn as an ox and not willing to hear anything else. The tension in the kitchen is heavy, suffocating, and Isla’s appetite disappears in the wake of this useless, aching conversation.

“I’m gonna get ready for work,” she says to no one in particular, turning around.

“You haven’t had your breakfast yet, Isla,” her dad says.

“I’m not hungry,” Isla responds before going up the stairs.

She gets to her room, shuts the door, and cries. Out of anger or sadness, she’s not sure.

Maybe both.

*****

Isla’s shift at work goes by slowly and tortuously. After what happened in the kitchen, Anna gave Isla and Kie sections of the restaurant far away from each other’s, which might be in vain given the restaurant isn’t that big. But Kie is given the outdoor area while Isla’s section is closer to the front of the restaurant. She and her sister kept their distance, doing their job and doing an even better job of ignoring each other. Isla knows their dad is a little frustrated with them, but Anna keeps him from interfering, which Isla is grateful for. The last thing they need is for this situation to get uglier.

Throughout her shift, Isla has done her damndest not to think of Kie’s words from this morning. Desperate. Pathetic. God, Isla knows it’s not true. She knows that Kie’s angry and upset and feels betrayed by Isla’s relationship, but Isla hates that that’s how her sister views her. By Kie’s own standards, if Isla could have dated anyone in Kildare, then there’s a reason why Isla chose Rafe, and she wishes that Kie and the others could fucking understand that.

There’s been an ache in Isla’s chest since yesterday, one she can’t get rid of. A deep, aching hole that isn’t going away, even after she talked to Rafe yesterday. She knows he’s trying to help—that he wants to help—but she’s not sure how he can. Maybe if he talked to her friends, sure. But if they haven’t listened to her, why would they listen to him? And Isla doesn’t want him to feel useless, like he can’t. The last thing she wants is for him to feel helpless in helping her. It’s not his fault and she doesn’t want him thinking otherwise.

As if conjuring him from her thoughts, Isla glances towards the door as soon as it opens, and despite the heaviness in her chest, she smiles as he enters, her first real one since this morning. Their eyes meet immediately when he takes off his sunglasses, hanging them from the neck of his shirt as he grins at her. 

“Hey, baby,” he greets in that familiar way that makes her heart flutter.

“Hi, honey,” she returns, laughing when his grin widens as she runs a customer’s credit card through the reader. “Give me a sec.”

Rafe nods, standing on the opposite side of the counter towards the end. “Take your time,” he says.

Isla quickly rings the customer up, grabbing the two copies of the receipt and clipping them to the credit card before walking around and heading to their table. “Thanks, y’all,” she smiles at the familiar faces as she places the card and receipts on the table. She takes a quick glance around at her section, noting that no one needs immediate attending to, and heads back around the counter and moves to the end towards Rafe. “What can I get for you, Mr. Cameron?” she asks with a grin, bracing her hands on the counter as she flicks her eyebrows up at him.

He scoffs out a laugh, shaking his head in amusement. “Uh—” He hesitates, drumming his fingers on the counter top. 

“Don’t say nothing,” Isla warns him, pointing a finger. “It’s lunch time. Eat lunch.”

Rafe chuckles and, gosh, is he blushing? Isla falls for him a little more just then. “BLT and a Coke? Please?”

“Coming right up. You want a table?” she asks, nodding towards one of the empty tables in her section. But there’s also plenty of space at the end of the counter, and he wouldn’t be anyone’s way when Isla or another employee needs to move past. “Or you wanna sit here?” she adds, jerking her chin towards the spot.

Rafe follows her gaze before arching an eyebrow at her. “Can I?”

“Mhm,” Isla hums with a smile, dragging the stool out from the space under the counter and placing it at the end. She grins at Rafe as she tops the vinyl top of the stool and when he sits, she smiles at him. The stool is kind of high, and he’s already tall as hell, so they’re at eye level when they sit. “Let me put your order in.”

She finds her dad in the back and she leans into the kitchen, asking, “Hey, Dad. Can I get a BLT for Rafe, please?”

“He’s here?” he asks with an arched brow, even as he’s already reaching for the ingredients to make the sandwich. “Is that a good idea with Kie out there, too?”

Isla tenses slightly as she rolls her eyes, though she takes a step further into the kitchen. “I don’t care what she thinks.”

Her dad huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, I got that this morning. One BLT coming right up.”

Isla comes back out to the front, opening the fridge and grabbing a can of Coke. “You came at a good time,” she says to Rafe, putting the can and a straw in front of him. “You just missed the lunch rush.”

“I did that on purpose,” he says with a small grin, folding his arms on the counter and tilting his chin at her. His smile turns knowing. “Didn’t wanna distract you when it was busy.”

Isla laughs, feeling a bit lighter as her own arms fold on the counter and she leans forward. “You’re so considerate,” she muses, moving towards her.

He meets her halfway and her eyes flutter shut in response to the quick kiss they exchange, feeling any lingering tension melt away from her body at the first touch of his lips against hers. The kiss is brief but sweet and gentle, even as Isla feels the thrill of being able to kiss him publicly. The secret and sneaking around was fun on its own, but this brings a new kind of giddiness that Isla isn’t used to.

She pulls away with a quiet sigh, not quite wanting to open her eyes just yet as she feels his forehead against hers. But the hair at the back of Isla’s neck stand when she feels a prickle of awareness, like someone is watching her. And when she pulls back and opens her eyes, she glances over to see Kie glaring at them as she fills up some glasses from the soda machine on the opposite side of the restaurant. Isla’s jaw clenches at the look of contempt on Kie’s face, appearing as though she’s grossed out by the sight of Isla and Rafe as she scoffs and turns away with a shake of her head.

Isla looks away from her, catching Rafe frowning at Kie before his gaze slides back to Isla. “Did you guys talk more?” he asks, unfolding one arm enough to cover her hand with his.

Desperate. Pathetic. Kie’s earlier words make Isla’s throat lock up as she drops her gaze down to her and Rafe’s hands. His larger one covering hers, the gold family ring on his pinky gleaming under the light. “Kind of,” Isla answers in a mumble. When Rafe arches an eyebrow questioningly, Isla shakes her head with a half smile, gaze casting downwards again. “Nothing worth repeating was said.”

“Hey.” His free hand reaches towards her, fingers lightly grasping her chin to lift her head until their gazes meet. Isla sees the concern swimming in his blue eyes, making her chest tighten as she feels his thumb lightly brush across her chin. “You need me, for anything, you let me know, okay? Don’t carry this on your own. This is about both of us so just—” Rafe lets out a breath, a kind of desperation flashing across his face. “Just lean on me, okay? Please.”

Isla’s throat works when she hears the plea in his voice as it heavies his words. And while part of Isla wants to keep it to herself, to not burden Rafe with what’s been said so far, she also knows it’s not fair to him to keep him in the dark. She’s hurting, and she knows Rafe wants to know because this concerns both of them, in the grand scheme of things.

“I will,” Isla promises with a nod. “Later, though, okay?”

Rafe nods just as Isla hears her dad call out, “Isla, your BLT.”

She pulls away from Rafe, grabbing the plate of food and thanking her dad before placing it in front of Rafe. “Bon appetit. I’ll be right back,” Isla says, squeezing his shoulder as she moves past him to attend to some tables.

She brings water to one table and begins taking the orders for another, and Isla can feel someone’s gaze on her—a weight she recognizes intimately. The smile tugs on the corner of Isla’s mouth before she even looks up and when she does, she sees Rafe watching her with a small smile as he reaches for his drink. Isla’s heart flutters just because of his stare, flicking her eyebrows up playfully and making his smile widen before she focuses her attention back on the customers.

She keeps busy for the next ten minutes or so, avoiding eye contact with Kie whenever her sister comes inside because Isla doesn’t want to see the faces her sister makes whenever she looks towards Rafe. Kie may not like having him here, but every time Isla glances over and looks at him, she can’t help but smile, loving the sight of him there.

By the time Isla gets back around the counter, Rafe is finishing off his lunch. “You’re closing, right?” he asks as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

“Yup,” Isla answers with a sigh, leaning with one hand against the counter top and the other resting on her jutted out hip. She widens her eyes at Rafe, lips pursing before she adds sarcastically, “Should be a blast.”

She meaningfully nods her head towards the outdoor eating area, and Rafe presses his lips together. “Kie’s closing, too?” he asks and Isla nods, her stomach twisting. Rafe frowns, his gaze looking her over as though he can see her inner turmoil. “You’ll be okay?”

Isla scoffs. “I’ll survive,” she says with a shrug, glancing at the time on her Apple Watch. “You gotta head back?”

“Yeah,” Rafe sighs, standing up and pulling out his wallet from the back pocket of his pants. “Can I get the bill?”

Isla makes a face, standing straight as she crosses her arms. Rafe stares at her, confused, as Isla lets out a scoff. “It’s on the house, honey.” He’s always paying for her food, buying her things; this is the least she could do.

Rafe’s expression falls flat with a dip of his chin. “No, let me—”

Isla cuts him off by stepping closer to him, their fronts pressing together. She tilts her head up at him as he arches an eyebrow down at her, mirth flickering in those blue eyes as Isla grins with a hand pressed to his chest. “You can pay right here,” she tells him, bringing her free hand up to tap her lips with a finger.

His lips purse in amusement, a subtle tilt of his strong chin as Isla wiggles her eyebrows playfully, trying to stifle her laugh. “You’re somethin’ else,” he murmurs before leaning down and pressing a sweet kiss to her lips, his hand resting on her hip.

Isla smiles against his lips, stomach fluttering when he hums into the kiss. “You love it,” she mumbles in response, making him chuckle lowly.

They break the kiss all too soon. “Very true,” he says with a wink. “Text me later, yeah? If you’re not tired, we could do something.”

Isla nods, biting her smiling bottom lip as he steps away. “I will,” she says.

He leaves after saying goodbye, and Isla lets out a long breath before getting back to work. The rest of the day passes by uneventfully, serving familiar faces and then some. She and Kie manage to avoid each other for the remainder of their shift, awkward and tense but in stilted quiet. But Isla should have known that once the last of the customers leave and the doors are locked to the public, it would only be a matter of time until things came to a head once again.

Except it all started by an innocent comment from Isla’s mom. “It was nice to see Rafe,” she says to Isla as she counts the money in one of the registers, while Isla counts the other. When Isla glances up, she knows for a fact sees Kie tense up from where she’s cleaning one of the other tables. “I hope you didn’t make him pay for lunch.”

Isla snorts into a laugh, mentally counting the money as she sorts through the bills. “Of course, I didn’t. I mean, he tried to, but I told him no.”

Anna chuckles, but it’s Kie who scoffs from where she stands. “Yeah, sure, don’t let the filthy rich guy pay for his lunch. It’s how the rich stay rich, you know,” she says, throwing a reproachful look at Isla over her shoulder. “Keep giving them shit for free. It’s only a matter of time until they take advantage of you.”

Isla knows she shouldn’t engage, that Kie is only trying to provoke her. But she’s also sick of all the nasty glares Kie had been sending Rafe during the forty minutes or so he was here, as well as growing sick of the harsh words she keeps spewing without a care. “Can you stop talking like you know him?” she asks, narrowing her eyes. She’s definitely lost where she was counting but she can’t bring herself to care right now. 

“I do know him,” Kie snaps as she fully turns around, features pulled tightly into a glare. “He’s the guy that used to happily get into fights with our friends, remember? He’s the one who gave Pope a black eye and knocked John B off his bike at the last Enduro and got JJ fired from that mechanic job last year—”

“JJ keyed his car, Kie, or are you forgetting that part since you like him?” Isla cuts in, jaw working. The full story is that JJ had that job at one of the mechanic’s over on Figure Eight because the pay was better than working at an auto shop on the Cut, and Rafe had brought in his car right after that last Enduro where he and John B crashed into each other. And Isla can admit, that crash had looked purposeful on Rafe’s part, but no one got hurt—miraculously—and neither of them won that race. And so when Rafe brought his car to get fixed, JJ had done that. But not before keying his car, too. It was an impulsive, idiotic decision on JJ’s part, but that’s also not new.

“And stop making it sound like that the guys aren’t innocent, either. They love to pick fights, too,” Isla says with a lift of her chin. She narrows her eyes, pulse quickening. “You’re so damn quick to judge Rafe, but you don’t know him. People can change—”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Kie scoffs with a roll of her eyes, her tone heavy with sarcasm. From her peripheral vision, Isla can see her mom has stopped working, watching the two of them with worry. “Just ’cause he stopped shitting on us for a couple of months, he’s suddenly a brand new person. Do you seriously believe that?” she demands with her arms crossing over her chest, her expression holding nothing but judgement in the purse of her lips and arch of her eyebrow.

Isla feels like she’s losing her mind. “Yes! Because I spend time with him!” she exclaims, voice raising his frustration. “And you know me, so why the hell would I want to date anyone that I didn’t think was a good person? You think I didn’t think about how you guys would take it, how y’all would feel, when you found out about us?”

Kie’s nostrils flare, not backing down with a stubborn tilt of her chin. “Because you know, deep down, exactly the kind of person he is. You were embarrassed—”

Isla’s temper flares, chest tightening. “Don’t fucking put words in my mouth, Kiara,” she snaps, noting the way her sister’s eyes widen slightly.

Anna places a hand on Isla’s arm. “Isla—”

But Isla shrugs it off, walking around the counter until she’s standing in front of it. Kie is still a good ten feet away. “I wasn’t embarrassed to tell you about him,” Isla says, practically gritting the words out through her teeth. “I was anxious because I know you guys wouldn’t want to see the truth that people can change. You’ve all built some narrative in your head that he’s some kind of villain, when I know for a fact that he’s not. I was nervous because I know it’s hard for y’all to let shit go, and you would hold the past against him when he’s proven to me that he’s not the same person he was even a year ago.” 

Isla’s chest has grown tight, her breathing a little shallow. She can hear her heart thundering in her ears, drowning out the sound of her dad’s heavy footsteps coming out of the back, no doubt watching this unfold with her mom. “But I had hoped you guys would prove me wrong and would at least hear me out, but that’s the only part I was wrong about, I guess.” She shrugs, unable to fake nonchalance as she clenches her jaw. Kie’s gaze is hard and Isla isn’t sure if she’s putting on a mask or what. She’s too damn tired to even try and figure it out. “You, though,” Isla shakes her head with a hollow laugh, the corner of her mouth curved up in a sardonic smile. “You really surprised me, Kie. I thought at least my own sister would try and defend me. But you just joined the rest of them. Didn’t say a damn thing against JJ when he was going at me.”

Isla swears she sees Kie’s lower lip quiver for a brief moment before her sister says, “You’re the one who chose your relationship with Rafe over your friendship with us.”

Isla’s heart cracks, but she has her response ready on her tongue. Even as tears threaten to fill her eyes. “And you chose your hatred of him over your supposed love for me.”

The blow lands, watching as Kie flinches ever so slightly and Isla doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt for uttering those words—not when she believes them, in this moment. Kie shakes her head slowly. “You don’t get to lie to us and then victimize yourself in all of this.”

Victimize myself? Isla would laugh if she wasn’t so damn hurt. “The only reason I lied was because I didn’t want to have to make a choice,” Isla fires back, eyes narrowing as she tries to keep the hurt from leaking into her voice. “Or do you not remember JJ giving me that shitty ultimatum? Or, oh wait—” Isla feigns a look of surprise, eyes widening. “Do you not care because you made the choice to stick by the guy you like instead of your sister?” Isla scoffs, pulse racing so quickly that it threatens to make her dizzy as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Pretty hypocritical of you, Kie. And real fucking hurtful.” Her voice shakes on those last four words, fingers curling into her palms. “I know you guys felt betrayed, or whatever, but did you think for a second how awful you guys made me feel with all of that shit you said?”

Silence from Kie, and Isla’s throat locks. “I didn’t think so,” she whispers. 

Kiara’s lips part, but she still doesn’t say anything, seemingly at a loss for words. But the fight somehow still remains in her brown eyes, making Isla remain tense. “Okay, girls,” Anna says from behind her in a calming voice. “Let’s just take a breath, okay?”

“No, that’s not necessary,” Isla cuts in, her hard gaze fixed on Kie. To her sister, she says, “I like Rafe, a lot. And I love you guys. But you’re not being fair, and if you guys were my friends, I shouldn’t have to beg you to explain anything. You guys weren’t the only ones who didn’t like Rafe. I was right there with you, remember? But obviously shit changed—enough for me to actually date him. Did you even think of that?” When Kie doesn’t say anything, lips pressed together and jaw working to show off that conflicted expression on her face, Isla loosens a rough breath. She blinks a few times as she turns to face her parents, who are watching them with twin expressions of worry. Isla inhales shakily. “I know I’m supposed to help close, but can I just—” She shakes her head. “I need to go.”

Her mom’s expression falls, forehead creasing with worry. Her dad places a hand on Anna’s shoulder while nodding at Isla. “Go ahead, baby. We got it.”

Isla nods in gratitude, offering them a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. Anna bends to grab Isla’s purse from under the counter, handing it to her, and Isla mumbles a thank you before exiting the restaurant, not sparing a glance back at Kie. Isla’s not sure if Kie’s going to get a lecture from their parents or comfort, maybe a mix of both, but she doesn’t stick around to find out.

The second she gets in her car, she starts it but doesn’t quite pull out of the lot. Instead, she grips the steering wheel and leans forward, pressing her forehead against it. A rough breath escapes her, eyes squeezing shut as she tries to calm her racing pulse down. Whatever she said, she knows needed to be said. Her sister needs to know the hurt she and the others caused to Isla, and whether or not that’s going to change their stubborn nature, Isla doesn’t know. Deep down, Isla believes that eventually things will work out, that they may even look back and laugh at all of this, but she really fucking wishes that eventually was right now.

She inhales sharply before exhaling slowly, throat working as her grip on the wheel tightens. Isla feels the tears escape with another shuddering breath, sniffling as she sits up and wipes at her cheeks. “Pull yourself together,” she mutters, flipping down the visor and sliding open the mirror to pat and wipe at the area under her eyes to get rid of any mascara that smudged. Swallowing, Isla pulls out her phone and dials the number she already knows by heart. 

It rings twice before Rafe’s deep voice answers. “Hey, baby.”

Isla sighs. “Can I come over?”

[airandyeah]

Animals (Alpha!Sukuna X Alpha!Toji X Omega!Reader) Pt.15

My Masterlist Series Masterlist Warnings: Obvious A/B/O dynamics, suggestive comments or actions, just generally Minors DNI-just in case. This will be similar to Pink Pony Club and Sins, where I just mark every chapter as 18+ This also has the general warning of Toji and Sukuna both honestly being menaces. The rest of the smut from chapter 14 can be found on my AO3, as Tumblr hated me for how long it was.

After the haze of heat finally settled, the three of you lay tangled in the sheets, the air still thick with the remnants of your shared need. Your body ached in the best way, your instincts purring in satisfaction, but your mind was still reeling from everything that had just happened.

Toji was the first to move, lazily stretching an arm over his head as he exhaled a deep, satisfied sigh. "Damn," he muttered, voice husky from exertion. "Didn't think you'd be able to keep up, but you proved me wrong, sweetheart."

Sukuna huffed from the other side of you, fingers trailing idly along your thigh, tracing patterns into your overheated skin. "She was made for this," he said smugly, his sharp gaze flicking down to you. "Look at her—completely spent, but still clinging to us like she doesn't want us to leave."

You let out a breathless scoff, too tired to snap back but not about to let them think they had won entirely. "Maybe I just don’t wanna move yet," you murmured, shifting just enough to burrow deeper into the warmth of their bodies.

Toji chuckled, low and deep, his hand resting on your hip, possessive and firm. "Guess that means we did our job right," he teased, pressing a lazy kiss to your shoulder.

Sukuna's lips curled into a smirk as he pulled you against him, his grip tightening just enough to remind you that this wasn't just a one-time thing. "Oh, we’re far from done with you, little omega," he murmured, voice dark with promise. "You said you wanted both of us. That means you’re ours now."

A shiver ran down your spine—not from fear, but from the sheer weight of his words. The reality of it settled deep in your chest, a thrilling, intoxicating truth.

Yours.

And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Toji let out a deep chuckle, stretching his arms behind his head as he smirked down at you. “Damn, with how much you were taking us, I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up carrying our pups.”

Your eyes snapped open, and without hesitation, you smacked his chest—hard enough to make a satisfying sound but not enough to actually hurt him. “Don’t even joke about that!” you huffed, glaring at him as heat crawled up your neck. “Megumi would be pissed if he suddenly had to be an older brother by that many years.”

Toji just laughed, completely unbothered, while Sukuna snorted from the other side of you. “Imagine how much therapy he’d need if you started popping out pups.”

You groaned, covering your face with both hands. “You need therapy,” you muttered, but the amused lilt in your voice betrayed you.

Toji hummed, rubbing his chin in fake contemplation. “Nah, I think he’d get over it. Might take a while, but he’d come around. Hell, maybe he’d even like having a little sibling to terrorize.”

You peeked at him through your fingers, narrowing your eyes. “Why do I feel like you’re actually considering this?”

Toji shrugged, grinning in that lazy, infuriating way of his. “Dunno, guess the idea’s kinda cute.”

Sukuna rolled his eyes. “The only thing cute here is how flustered she’s getting.” He reached out, pulling your hands away from your face with a sharp-toothed smirk. “Relax, sweetheart. We’ll give you a little time before we start putting those instincts of yours to real use.”

Your breath hitched at the implication, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you stumble over your words. Instead, you shoved Sukuna’s face away with your palm, making him laugh.

Toji grinned, watching the two of you with an easy amusement. “Guess we’ll just have to keep practicing ‘til she’s used to the idea.”

You groaned again, but even as you tried to glare at them, you couldn’t stop the small smile tugging at your lips. ~~~ Mornings for the next two years were peaceful—almost domestic, in a way that none of them had ever expected. Toji and Sukuna took turns cooking breakfast, sometimes bickering over who made the better eggs or who got to brew the coffee. You would sit at the table, watching them with a smirk as you enjoyed whatever they put in front of you. Then you would all head to work together.

Somewhere in between all of that—between stolen kisses before they left, the lazy moments tangled together in bed, and the nights they spent murmuring soft promises against your skin—they had actually said it.

I love you.

Said with a gruff smirk from Toji, his rough hand cupping your jaw as he whispered it against your lips.

Said with a low, confident chuckle from Sukuna, his sharp eyes watching your reaction before he sealed it with a kiss.

And now? Now, you sat at the table, sipping your coffee like nothing was different—except there were fresh mating marks on both sides of your neck, standing stark against your skin.

And across from you, the teens were losing their shit.

Megumi had his head in his hands, groaning as if the weight of the world had just been dropped on his shoulders. "I knew this would happen," he muttered.

Yuji, on the other hand, was staring at you with wide eyes, bouncing in his seat like an overexcited puppy. “Holy shit, you actually let them mate you? Both of them?! That’s insane! That’s—wait, which one did it first? Or did they do it at the same time?”

Nobara smacked him upside the head, looking equally scandalized and impressed. “That’s not the point, dumbass! The point is that she’s basically tied to both of them forever now. What the hell is that even gonna look like?”

You took another sip of coffee, hiding your amused smile behind the mug. “Well,” you said, setting it down with a satisfied hum, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

Megumi groaned louder. "I don't want to see anything."

Yuji still looked like he had a million more questions, while Nobara just shook her head in exasperation.

And you? You just sat back, watching their reactions with a smug little smirk—because, at the end of the day, your life had never been more perfect.

There was never a wedding—no need for one. Not when the marks on your neck spoke louder than any vows could.

Still, that didn’t stop them from calling you wifey.

“Oi, wifey, you seen my damn tie?” Toji would grumble, half-dressed and searching through the mess of clothes in your shared bedroom.

“Wifey, get your cute ass over here,” Sukuna would purr, sprawled out on the couch with that lazy, satisfied smirk, eyes flicking over you like he was ready to drag you into his lap.

It had started as teasing—something to rile you up, make you roll your eyes. But over time, it settled into something more, something unspoken but understood. There may not have been rings, no ceremony or grand declarations in front of others, but you were theirs.

What made it even more apparent than the marks was the soft bump in your tummy after the third year.

It hadn’t been planned—at least, not in any conscious way. But with the way Toji and Sukuna had always been all over you, hands roaming, mouths claiming, instincts tangled up in yours, maybe it was inevitable.

You weren’t even the one to say it first.

It was Toji who noticed, sharp eyes catching the subtle change in your scent before his hands found your stomach, rubbing slow circles over the slight swell. Sukuna, of course, was more dramatic about it, licking his lips and grinning like he’d just won a bet.

“Looks like we really did knock up our little omega,” Sukuna had mused, tone smug but eyes burning with something softer.

Toji just huffed, pressing his palm more firmly against you. “Damn right we did.” Now, after ten years, you sat on the porch, watching the chaos unfold before you. Two little girls ran around the yard, their laughter echoing through the trees. One had wild pink hair that stuck up in every direction, just like Sukuna’s, her little sharp canines poking out as she grinned mischievously. The other had slightly messy black locks, a clear sign she took after Toji, though her eyes—just like her sister’s—were all yours.

They were a handful, a perfect mix of trouble and charm, and both carried the unmistakable scent of alphas in the making.

Sukuna lounged beside you, one arm thrown over the back of your chair, a smug grin on his lips as he watched his daughter tackle her sister to the ground. “Atta girl,” he muttered approvingly.

Toji, on the other hand, pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oi, knock it off before one of you breaks something.”

“But she started it!” the pink-haired one whined, only to get an equally loud “Did not!” from her sister.

You sighed, shaking your head. “You two are impossible.”

Although the transition had been difficult, the teens had eventually settled into their new reality. Megumi, despite his usual gruff demeanor, was nothing but kind and patient with his little sister. He would let her tug at his sleeves, follow him around, and even sit on his lap while he read—though he’d grumble about it the entire time.

Yuuji, on the other hand, had taken to being a cousin with pure enthusiasm. He adored both girls, but he had a soft spot for the pink-haired troublemaker. “She’s just like me!” he’d say proudly, grinning as she clung to him like a monkey.

Sukuna hated it.

“She’s not like you, brat,” he would growl, watching his daughter happily sit on Yuuji’s shoulders. “She’s mine.”

Yuuji would just laugh, unfazed. “Guess you should’ve thought about that before you had kids, huh?”

Toji found the whole thing hilarious, often sitting back with his arms crossed, smirking as Sukuna fumed. You? You were just grateful for the love surrounding your children—chaotic as it was.

You swore you would never treat them the way your family had treated you—never make them feel unwanted, never let them think they had to earn your love. And you didn’t.

You were there through every scraped knee and midnight nightmare, through their first words and first fights. You listened when they rambled about nonsense, held them when they cried, and made sure they knew, without a doubt, that they were loved.

Sukuna was strict, but never cruel. He demanded respect but always gave it back in kind. He was protective, terrifyingly so, but your daughters never feared him. Instead, they giggled at his grumbling and clung to him just as tightly as they did to you.

Toji was their safe space—the one who let them get away with just a little too much, who always had a lazy smirk and a knowing glint in his eye. He let them sit on his shoulders, sneak extra sweets, and he never, ever let them doubt that he would fight the entire world for them.

And you? You were their home. No matter what happened, no matter how much chaos surrounded your family, your daughters always knew one thing: their mother loved them unconditionally. ~~~ Both Sukuna and Toji were less than pleased when their daughters came home in their teen years smelling like they had Omega all over them.

The moment the scent hit their noses, the entire house went still. Sukuna’s sharp eyes flickered with something dark, his lips curling back just enough to reveal a hint of his fangs. Toji, on the other hand, let out a slow exhale, running a hand down his face as if already preparing for a fight.

“Who the fuck was close enough to scent you?” Sukuna growled, his voice dropping into something dangerous.

Your eldest daughter, the one with Sukuna’s wild pink hair, froze in place, eyes wide before she scowled. “It’s not a big deal.”

Toji scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Not a big deal? Kid, you reek.”

Your younger daughter, with her slightly messy black locks, shifted uncomfortably beside her sister. “It was just some friends—”

Sukuna slammed a hand against the wall, making the entire room shake. “Friends don’t scent-mark friends unless they’re claiming them.” His crimson gaze flickered between the two girls. “Tell me who they are. Now.”

Your eldest squared her shoulders, glaring back at him with that same defiant fire he had passed down to her. “I’m not telling you shit.”

Toji let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Oh, you’ve got your mother’s attitude, alright.” His expression darkened slightly as he looked at you. “You better talk to them before Sukuna decides to scare every Omega in town.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. This was going to be a long night.

“Alright, here’s how this is gonna go,” you started, voice calm but leaving no room for argument. “You’re going to bring them by the house so we can meet them. Properly.”

Both girls stiffened, their faces shifting between defiance and nervousness.

“And if this ever happens again before that?” You gave them a sweet smile—one that had them wary before you finished, “You’ll be in trouble. And by that, I mean I’ll be handing you over to Ryo.”

Sukuna let out a low, wicked chuckle, his fangs flashing. “Oh, I like that idea.” He turned his sharp gaze back to the girls, amusement dancing in his crimson eyes. “I’d love to have a little… chat with them.”

Your eldest daughter tensed, taking a step forward. “Mom—”

“No arguing,” you cut her off. “This isn’t a discussion.”

Toji hummed, grinning lazily as he leaned against the counter. “Smart decision, sweetheart. Gotta make sure these little punks are good enough for our girls.”

Your younger daughter groaned, rubbing her face. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Oh, no, sweetheart.” Sukuna smirked. “Embarrassing is when I track them down myself. I suggest you take your mother’s offer while it’s still on the table.”

Both girls exchanged looks before letting out exasperated sighs.

“Fine,” your eldest muttered, rolling her eyes. “We’ll bring them over.”

Your younger daughter nodded reluctantly. “But you guys better not scare them off.”

You gave them a knowing smile. “That depends on them.”

Sukuna and Toji just grinned. Oh, those poor Omegas had no idea what they were walking into.

You couldn't help but feel a little bad for the boys when they arrived. As much as Sukuna and Toji were practically dripping with possessive energy, it wasn't lost on you how intimidating they could be. The poor guys were practically shaking in their boots, trying to maintain some semblance of composure under the weight of your two men’s overbearing glares.

You heard Sukuna’s voice low, a dangerous growl slipping from his throat as he looked the boys up and down. “You sure you want to walk into this mess? Because if you think you can handle these two—”

Before he could finish, you shot up from your seat and slapped his arm hard, cutting him off with an exaggerated eye roll. “Ryo, not now. Knock it off.” You turned to Toji, who was quietly sizing up the boys, his hand on his chin in an almost theatrical fashion, grinning wickedly. “Toji, seriously. Stop looking at them like that. You're giving them heart attacks.”

Toji raised a brow but didn’t protest, though he was clearly enjoying the tension. “They should know what they’re getting into.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “I swear, you two are impossible.”

The boys stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, stiff, glancing between the two men who were looking at them like prey. You smiled sweetly at them, though you could see the subtle fear in their eyes. “Sorry about them. They think scaring you is some kind of initiation.”

One of them muttered nervously, “No problem. We’ll be fine… right?”

Before you could reassure them, Sukuna leaned in close, his voice playful but still carrying that edge. “You’ll be fine. As long as you remember who’s boss around here.”

You rolled your eyes and gave him a stern look. “Seriously, don’t push them. They’re not going anywhere if you keep this up.”

Both men exchanged a look and grinned, the dangerous edge in their expressions never fully leaving, but they knew better than to push it too far.

Sukuna grumbled a little, dropping his shoulders in a mock sigh. “Fine, fine. But they need to get used to the idea.”

With a sigh of relief, you turned back to the boys, offering them a genuine, warm smile. “Don't mind them. They just want to make sure you're worthy of my daughters, but really? They’re all bark and no bite—mostly.”

Toji chuckled, but even he seemed to back off, his usual teasing demeanor softening just enough. “We’ll let you off the hook for today. But don’t think we’re done sizing you up. Next time, bring your A-game.”

You gave both men a pointed look, silently reminding them they had already scared the boys enough. Turning back to the boys, you took a deep breath and gently gestured for them to sit. “Come on, relax. Let's get to know each other properly.”

Both boys hesitated before slowly sitting down, casting wary glances toward Sukuna and Toji, who were still very much watching them.

It was going to be a long, interesting night, but you couldn’t help but smile at the way your family had grown—and the lengths they were willing to go to protect it.

You raised an eyebrow at the boys' explanation, trying to hold back the small smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. They looked so nervous, like they were confessing to a crime they weren't sure they'd escape from. Both of them fidgeted, glancing around at Toji and Sukuna, who were still giving them that dangerous, unblinking stare.

One of them cleared his throat, his voice a little shaky. “Uh, we—well, we just... wanted to apologize. We didn’t mean to cause any trouble, really. It wasn’t like we were the ones who, uh, started it. The girls, uh... well, they, uh, scent-marked us first.”

The other boy nodded vigorously, adding, “Yeah, they insisted. We didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but, uh, it kinda just happened. We didn’t know how to handle it.”

Sukuna, his lips curling into an amused but still menacing grin, leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “So it’s their fault, huh?” he drawled, his voice dripping with mock amusement. “You think we’re just gonna buy that? You’re saying they marked you first? That’s rich.”

Toji let out a quiet chuckle, his gaze still focused on the boys. “Kids these days have no respect for boundaries,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I’d think you two would have more control, but hey, if you’re gonna let them get away with it...”

You couldn’t help but smile at how they were still so protective—almost possessive—of their daughters. But you weren’t going to let the boys take the full blame for something they really had no control over.

You sighed, raising your hand to calm them down. “Alright, alright. Let’s not make this a bigger deal than it needs to be.” You turned to the boys with a stern, but not unkind, look. “I get it. I do. But you need to know, my daughters are strong-willed. They don’t do anything they’re not ready for, and they made their choice just as much as you did.”

The boys both looked relieved, though still embarrassed. One of them sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, while the other shot you a grateful look.

“We’re really sorry,” the first one said. “We didn’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable. We just didn’t know what else to do when they—uh—did that. It’s like... it’s kind of hard to resist.”

You chuckled softly, knowing full well what they meant. “Yeah, I can imagine. It’s not easy when the girls have their sights set on something—or someone.”

The tension in the room had started to settle, though Sukuna and Toji weren’t ready to let the boys off the hook just yet. They were still giving them that look—the look that said they better not screw up.

“But you’re right,” you continued, shifting your focus back to your two men. “We need to keep this all in perspective. They’re our daughters. It’s gonna happen, and they need to learn to handle it, just like you boys do.”

Toji finally spoke up, his voice gruff but not unfriendly. “Just don’t think this means you’re off the hook. You’ll need to prove you can handle it. But for now, I’ll give you a pass.”

Sukuna, ever the troublemaker, tilted his head and added, “Yeah, yeah, we’ll let it slide this time. But you two better be ready when it comes time to face the consequences.”

The boys looked like they were about to faint, but they managed to stammer out a few more apologies, and this time, they seemed to understand that the worst of it was over. They had survived the gauntlet, at least for now.

You sighed, giving both of them a reassuring smile. “You’re fine. Just—next time, let’s keep the scenting to a minimum, alright?”

The boys nodded fervently, looking at each other like they were both trying to calm their nerves. As they relaxed, you could finally feel the last bit of tension melting away.

You turned back to Sukuna and Toji, who were still holding their ground but not nearly as aggressive as before. “See? All that for nothing. They’re good kids,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “And they really do care about the girls. That much is obvious.”

Sukuna just gave you a knowing look, his grin turning predatory. “You sure about that?”

Toji snorted, muttering under his breath, “They’ve got a lot to prove still.”

You rolled your eyes at both of them, but deep down, you knew they would protect the girls just like you would. The family dynamic may have been... unconventional, but it worked. And in the end, that was all that mattered.

Toji crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with the boys. "Just so we're clear," he began, his tone low and serious, "if either of you ever let my daughter come home with bite marks, hickeys, or anything that shows you’ve claimed her—without permission—you will not be having a good time." His voice was calm, but the threat in it was unmistakable, like the calm before a storm.

Sukuna leaned forward, his eyes narrowing, his lips curling into a sinister grin. "You think you're ready for that? You think you can handle my daughter, let alone both of ours? I promise you, if you step out of line, the consequences won’t be pretty." His words were heavy with menace, and you could see the flicker of dangerous amusement in his eyes. He was enjoying this moment, enjoying watching the boys squirm.

The boys stiffened under the weight of their words. The more they tried to hide their nervousness, the more obvious it became that they were completely aware of the trouble they were in. Both of them nodded quickly, their faces pale but resolute. They weren’t about to argue with the two most terrifying men they knew.

"We won’t let it happen," one of them said, his voice a little strained. "We just... we just didn’t know how to handle the situation."

Toji didn’t look convinced. He raised an eyebrow, his expression cold. "I’m not asking for excuses. I’m saying, if that happens again—if my daughters come back with anything that suggests they’ve been claimed... well, let's just say I’ll make sure you regret it."

Sukuna let out a low, dangerous chuckle. "And I’ll be right there to back him up. Don’t think I won’t. Understand?" His words were sharp, meant to drive the point home, to make sure the boys knew exactly what they were getting into.

The boys nodded quickly, their faces a mix of guilt and fear. It was clear they didn’t want to face the wrath of the two alpha figures sitting before them. They didn’t speak up again, knowing that their words would only make things worse.

You couldn’t help but smile inwardly, watching the tension between the men and the boys. The love and protection they had for your daughters was so evident, it almost made you proud. But you also knew they would never let the boys forget how important it was to respect your daughters, and to never forget who was watching over them.

You cleared your throat to break the silence, giving the boys a small, reassuring smile. "Alright, I think we’ve made our point. Just... don’t make things harder than they have to be. The girls are growing up fast, and you both need to be ready for whatever comes next. But... let's keep things civil, alright?"

The boys, still a little shaken but visibly relieved that the worst had passed, nodded in unison. "Understood," they replied quickly, their voices now more steady than before.

Toji and Sukuna exchanged one last, approving look, their intense gazes softening just a little.

"Good," Toji said, uncrossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "We’ll hold you to that."

Sukuna smirked. "You boys better get it together. The girls aren’t going to wait forever." ~~~

Fifteen years later, after all the chaos and challenges, things had finally come full circle. The girls, who had once been naive teens caught up in the wildness of their first crushes and the heat of their instincts, had grown into powerful, confident young women. The boys who had once trembled under the pressure of Sukuna and Toji's intense protective instincts had matured too, proving that they had earned their place.

The families had all come together, and, as much as Toji and Sukuna had once sworn they'd never accept any boy who dared to claim their daughters, they had eventually softened—though not by much. There had been many heated conversations, threats, and a fair share of heart-to-heart moments, but through it all, love had found its way. The boys had earned the respect and trust of the family, and now they stood before them—older, wiser, and more than ready to stand by the women they'd chosen to marry.

The wedding had been an intimate affair, but one that radiated strength and love. Toji and Sukuna, though still as intimidating as ever, had watched with a hint of pride in their eyes as their daughters walked down the aisle, arms intertwined with their chosen mates. It was a strange, full-circle moment. The same men who had once been on the receiving end of their fury were now about to become a permanent part of the family.

The ceremony had been both beautiful and tense, as everyone knew that no matter how much time had passed, some old habits died hard. Sukuna, despite his attempts to look aloof, had a firm grip on his emotions. Toji, while still a man of few words, had given his daughter away with a proud smile, though he was still the first to growl when he saw a suspicious look between the new husbands.

But despite all the muscle and might, the ceremony went off without a hitch. The vows were exchanged, the promises made. It was official. Their daughters were now married to the same boys who had once set off the alarm bells in Toji and Sukuna’s heads, but now, they were family—whether the men liked it or not.

Toji, ever the pragmatic one, had finally admitted with a grunt, "I guess you two aren't as stupid as I thought. But don't make me regret this."

Sukuna had been more straightforward. "You better fucking take care of them. I’ll be watching." His tone left no room for negotiation, and the boys had nodded, understanding that they would have to live up to the standards set by the two most terrifying men in their lives.

And as the years passed, the family grew even closer. The couples settled into a rhythm. There were kids—grandchildren, in fact—and more family gatherings. Toji, Sukuna, and their wives had long since stopped feeling the need to intimidate everyone; they'd learned to embrace the joy of their daughters' happiness, though they still weren’t afraid to make their feelings known when necessary.

You looked at your family—your daughters and their husbands, your partners by your side—and couldn’t help but feel proud. The love that had once seemed so impossible, so out of reach, had blossomed. Through all the pain, the passion, the rawness of it all, this was where it had all led. Your daughters had grown into strong women, and they were happy. They were safe. And most importantly, they had a family who would protect them until the very end.

No one had expected this. Not the crazy twists of fate, the clashes of personalities, or the rough road to get here. But now, as you looked at them—your girls, your mates, your family—you knew that this was exactly where you were meant to be. No regrets. Just love.

Taglist is always open for anyone! Just comment, send an ask, or a DM and I'll add you! Sorry if I missed anyone!! Taglist: @tojislongshlong , @jaxawinchester , @ectomotive , @hishearttohave , @tojinxies , @imoutofpot , @book0fdr3ams ,@akaotv Perma Tags: @thenightperson , @makingtimemine Thank you everyone for reading this insane fic.