#eas and noticings and i have to wait for that to collect before i do that haha

[rileyslibrary]

Living With Ghosts: 2. Lemons

Under normal conditions, it would've been challenging to locate anyone on such a vast property. But a tall, burly man wearing a balaclava and picking lemons? He stood out like a fly in milk.

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

Word Count: 1,021

Notes:

Fluff

Entire work on AO3

Table of Contents

———————————————————————

P-143, check. P-92, check. P-56, check. P-333, ch-

Wait. That’s not right.

You take a closer look at the glass canister.

No, no, no, no.

P-333 is half empty.

What — why? How did you miss this?

You instinctively look out the kitchen window, scanning the acres of land for his tall figure. You notice movement. There he is.

Under normal conditions, it would’ve been challenging to locate anyone on such a vast property. But a tall, burly man wearing a balaclava and picking lemons? He stood out like a fly in milk.

It was his turn to help with the harvest. You’ve already done your part by picking as many as you could. The rest, unfortunately, are too high for you to reach. Fortunately, he is 6'4" tall.

You dash outdoors, your right hand in a fist, your left hand holding a jar, its contents rattling in sync with your gait.

Your movement is intense, your strides powerful as you flounce through the fields - a little too powerful for the distance you’re about to travel. You didn’t think this through, did you?

The safe house is encircled by orchards of lemon trees. Acres extend across the land as far as the eye can see, glistening under the hot, Tuscan sun.

To the naked eye, the plot serves no purpose other than cultivating lemons. In reality, it is used as a hideaway for conducting covert operations and acquiring vital information for regional cases.

Agents like yourself are expected to keep constant watch while maintaining a controlled and protective environment. How do you do that? Well, by keeping a low profile and impersonating a lemon-harvesting farmer, for starters.

You’re breathless by the time you get to him. Physically exhausted and drenched in sweat, you try to act as intimidating as possible. You poor thing. Who do you think you are? Do you even understand whose arm you’re attempting to twist?

“Di...you...ea...stachios?” you mutter between breaths.

“Speak English,” he orders without even looking at you. What an ass. What a beautiful a-FOCUS! That is not the time. Not right now.

Instead of reacting to his snide remark, you shake the jar.

“Did you eat the pistachios?”

“Pistachios?”

“Yes, the pistachios. Did you eat them?”

“We have pistachios?” he asks, unmoved.

“Had. We had pistachios. A whole jar, to be exact. And we needed them.”

“We needed the pistachios,” he repeats caustically.

He continues to ignore your presence. It seems like lemon-picking is far more important than your little predicament. You poor, poor thing.

You carefully observe him as he collects the fruits from the tree. He is meticulous, even when doing something as mundane as this. Efficient too. Mentally breaking the tree into sections and clearing each area before moving on to the next. His moves are repetitive yet purposeful. Tactical; getting the job done.

Under normal circumstances, you would brush this off. But this wasn’t a normal circumstance. You had to be informed as per procedure, and Ghost was aware of this.

You close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths.

“Do not patronize me,” you plead, throwing your hands up, one of them still holding the jar. “Next time, please let me know if you crave something. I have to log everything.”

He comes to a halt and slowly turns his head toward you. His eyes are cold, yet they burn right through you.

“You mean to tell me that you need to register every pistachio that comes out of that jar?” he asks, pointing at the glass container.

You freeze. Well? Do you? Answer him!

“Everything gets counted and documented,” you reply. “I have to report everything that is either consumed or processed. Shipments to the safe house should be kept as little as possible to maintain a low profile. These are the orders I have from the base.” you add, shrugging.

He keeps staring at you with those dreadful interrogative eyes. You divert your gaze away from his. Looking into his eyes for too long makes you feel exposed, vulnerable. Naked.

The procedure wasn’t as rigid as you made it out to be. Nothing would have happened if you overlooked a jar of pistachios. In essence, this wasn’t a formality issue at all. It was you—your need to regain control over something, terrified of dealing with reality. Consequently, you resorted to micromanaging the pantry. Everything—milk, wheat, eggs, the fucking pistachios—was an excuse. You were diverting attention away from the actual problem: the loss of control over your greatest asset—yourself. He could see that. He could see right through you with those eyes.

You bring the jar in front of your chest, attempting to instinctively block him out. You turn around and begin to walk back to the safe house, defeated.

“’ Twas for the birds.” You hear him mumble.

You turn your head around; the expression he had earlier is now embossed on your face.

“Pardon?”

“The pistachios. I fed ’em to the birds.”

What. The. Fuck.

“Birds? What birds?”

“Do I look like a fuckin’ ornithologist to you, love?” he barks. Best to end this conversation as soon as possible.

But you can’t. You, instead, want to crack a smile. Heck, you want to burst out laughing. Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley feeds birds in his free time. What’s next? Baking pies and making lemonade out of lemons?

“Huh. I thought you said you didn’t have any.” you recount.

“I said I didn’t eat any. Listen, I should’ve informed you as per the procedure. Apologies for that.”

Instead of continuing your lecture, you accept his apology and close the matter once and for all.

It was no surprise that there was vulnerability behind the Lieutenant’s tough facade and emotional armour. Today, you could see in between the cracks of his hard shell. He allowed you in.

However, drilling a Special Forces Operator about pistachios was a bold move, let alone Lieutenant Simon “Ghost” Riley himself. Don’t push your luck.

“I appreciate your honesty,” you respond and continue back to the safe house, this time with a smile on your face, walking a little lighter than before.

———————————————————————

Next ->

[william-m-lucipher]

RATING A FEW OF MY PUPPETS!

THEY ALL HAVE THEIR UPSIDES AND DOWNSIDES! HERE ARE MY OPINIONS ON A HANDFUL OF 'EM!

SIXER: MASSIVE AMOUNT OF BRAIN SPACE, FILLED WITH COMPLEXITIES! ALSO A GOOD CHUNK OF EMBARRASSING NERD MEMORIES. HIS MIND IS WHERE ALL THE LUXURY WAS!

BODILY EXPERIENCE WAS INTERESTING, HIS EYESIGHT WAS LACKING EVEN WITH THE GLASSES. IT SEEMS HE'D GONE A WHILE WITHOUT RENEWING HIS PRESCRIPTION. SURE, THE GLASSES LESSENED THINGS, BUT YEESH! ONE EYE WAS ALWAYS WORSE THAN THE OTHER, BUT THEY WERE BOTH IN BLURRYTOWN. TALK ABOUT A LACK OF DEPTH PERCEPTION! THE EXTRA FINGERS THOUGH, THEY WERE FUN! AND THAT GUY HAD A DECENT-ISH PAIN TOLERANCE THANKS TO THOSE OLD BOXING LESSONS HE AND HIS BROTHER WERE FORCED TO DO. IT WAS FUN TO TEST THE LIMITS!

A SOLID 8/10, GREAT GUY TO WORK WITH, POSSESSION EXPERIENCE COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THOUGH!

PINE TREE: BRAINWISE, LESS COMPLEXITY, MORE COMEDY, AT LEAST IN MY EYE! HE WAS A SMART KID, SURE, BUT MAN, RERUNS OF HIS LOWLIGHTS WILL KEEP ME ENTERTAINED FOR AGES. IMAGINE AN ACTUALLY FUNNY CRINGE COMPILATION THAT NEVER GETS OLD! THAAAAT'S PINE TREE!

AS FOR THE BODY, BETTER EYESIGHT, BETTER JOINTS, AND THE PAIN TOLERANCE WAS TERRIBLE, WHICH WAS GREAT FOR ME! IT WAS THE FIRST THING I NOTICED WHEN I TOOK THE STRINGS, HAHA! THOUGH BEING SWEATY, SMELLY, AND TICKLISH KINDA RUINED THE DELUXE SUITE FEEL. EH, WHEN DEALING WITH THE HUMAN BODY, THERE'S NO WAY TO HAVE IT ALL, EVER.

7/10, AT LEAST I'VE GOT A LOT TO LAUGH ABOUT.

HIRSCHEY: I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS AT THIS POINT THAT I'VE BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS WITH FLANNELBRITCHES FOR A GOOD WHILE NOW. LONG BEFORE HE EVEN SECURED A ROLE WITH THE MOUSE, I'VE BEEN A SUBTLE INFLUENCE!

NOW LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO SPILL EVERYTHING, BUT THIS GUY HAS ALL THE RIGHT CONNECTIONS TO RUIN EVERYTHING IF I MAKE THE WRONG DECISIONS WHILE USING MY OTHER PUPPETS IN THIS REALITY. LET'S JUST SAY, HIS BODY IS MID, BUT HIS MIND ALONE ADDS EXTRA POINTS! I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN, HAHA!

9/10, WHAT A GOOD FRIEND!

BURNSIDES: OH WAIT, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS YET! WINK! HAHA, COME BACK TO THIS POST FOR THE ANSWER ON SMOKEY'S BIGGEST FAN IN A FEW DAYS.

?/10, TO BE ANNOUNCED

EAS-Y: THE ONE I'M CURRENTLY USING! GONE BY SEVERAL DIFFERENT NAMES, BECAUSE THEIR MEAT SUIT IS LITERALLY STUFFED WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT PEOPLE DUE TO CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, HAHA!! THE HUMAN MIND HAS SOME WEIRD COPING MECHANISMS. E.A.S STANDS FOR THE SILLY NAME FOR THEIR SYSTEM THEY PICKED ONE DAY ON A WHIM.

MY FAVORITE ONE HERE HAS TO BE ZILLARA, WHO I ONCE REFERRED TO AS "T" DURING AN APRIL FOOL'S EVENT ON THE SYSTEM'S ABANDONED ACCOUNT. (IT WAS SHORT FOR THE COLLECTIVE DEADNAME OF THIS VESSEL.) HE'S AN OLD HOST AND AN OLD PAL! Z'S BEEN SO... GENUINELY NICE TO ME FOR ALMOST TEN YEARS NOW. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?! HAHA!!! Ah... ENOUGH ABOUT JUST ONE GUY, THOUGH, THIS PLACE IS PACKED WITH EM! BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T HAVE WIGGLE ROOM. THIS MIND IS MORE SPACIOUS THAN PINE TREE AND SIXER'S COMBINED, BUT IT'S ALL BEING USED ON KEEPING FOLKS COMFORTABLE AND GUARDING HARMFUL MEMORIES. LISTEN, I'M NOT SALTY ABOUT THE MEMORY GUARDING. I TOOK A PEEK, AND JEEZ, IT'S DEFINITELY FOR THE BETTER.

ANYWAYS, THIS PLACE IS LAYED OUT LIKE A WHOLE SMALL TOWN! BEST VACATION HOME OUTTA ALL OF 'EM! AS AMAZING AS HIRSCHY'S IS, IT'S BUSY BUSY BUSY EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME. PARTIALLY MY FAULT FOR GETTING HIM INTO THE ANIMATION INDUSTRY. SORRY THERE, BUDDY!

THE DOWNSIDE TO IT ALL IS THAT EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE PLENTY WHO LIKE ME HERE, I'VE ALSO GOT A FAIR SHARE OF ENEMIES WHO CALL THEMSELVES "PROTECTORS" AND "GATEKEEPERS." NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF AN ANGRY SECRETARY LADY, LET ME TELL YOU!

BODY WISE, IT'S QUITE THE PAIN BUFFET! BAD JOINTS, MIGRAINES, LOW PAIN TOLERANCE, AND MAN, THE TICS AND SEIZURES! YOU'D THINK GIVEN MY EXPERIENCE WITH BODY SPASMS WHILE PUPPETING PINE TREE, I'D HATE THESE, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT! IT'S SOME OF THE FUNNIEST PAIN, THE PUNCHLINE HITS YOU OUTTA NOWHERE, SEVERAL TIMES, IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS!

8.5/10, TALK TO YOUR PROTECTORS AND YOU MIGHT EARN THE FIRST 10, OR AT LEAST A 9.8!!!

IN SUMMARY:

- SIXER'S A DECENT PUPPET, BUT A BETTER ALLY. STILL A SHAME HE NEVER JOINED ME

- PINE TREE IS A PERSONAL COMEDY CLUB!

- HIRSCHEY IS A GREAT PUPPET, AND A POWERFUL ALLY WHO COULD EASILY BECOME MY WORST ENEMY

- I'M UNDER NDA ABOUT GUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

- EASY HERE IS, WELL, THE EASIEST ONE!!

MAYBE I'LL RATE A FEW MORE SOMETIME, LIKE CHARLES GUITEAU, OR WITH LUCK, YOU!

[lepertamar]

have to say that cain would be a much more meaty and potent candidate for the sehhinah lilith role than lilith LMAO. i guess there was some calculations going on about balancing out lucifer (the myth’s) very folk xtian origins and context with the folk jewish (and pre-jewish) figure of lilith or something but hnnnggghhh......the context of cain would work SO well. the atonement the wandering the protective mark the insight into the seed of replicative family violence and immediate refusal to let it spread beyond him by veering into a sort of AU of the genesis narrative by his sheer strength of will........anyway,

[adelheidvonschicksal]

Hello, may I request some angst? More like hurt/comfort with Megumi and/or Nanami? Like reader is affectionate and they had a bad day and called the reader annoying or clingy. And then the reader kinda pulls back or stops being as affectionate and then Megumi/Nanami apologized?

Notes: I did this one for Kenny since I don't have much for him, and I have a similar story for Megumi already :)

I didn't use any pronouns but I do feel it reads more female so it's up to you guys! Not beta'd~

Kento left for work at nine-thirty that morning, meaning he’ll be home by six, and you wait giddy to see him like every evening. You’re even more impatient to see him today because you took a day off work to go to the shopping district and managed to hit the beginning of a good sale, leaving with clothes that you know he’d like.

You wait longer as seven starts to slowly tick closer, and you start to worry about where Kento could be since he hates working overtime more than anything. Then, you hear the handle to the door starting to shake so you stand up, ready to greet him with a “welcome home”.

When the door opens, you don’t give him a second before reaching up to throw your arms around his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek before sprinting to grab the dozens of bags you had piled in the corner.

Nanami shrugs off his coat and props it on the coat rack, and he drags his tired body to the nearest seat and collapses on top of it. He hangs his head over the back of the chair and snatches his glasses off.

Today had been just awful at work between having to deal with his coworker’s antics and getting the run around by a particularly annoying curse then Shoko was tipsy earlier than usual, so he had to wait for her to sober up to heal his broken rib. All that culminates into staying at the school longer and having to drive through late-night traffic.

On the other hand, you are absolutely on cloud nine to have Kento home, always wanting to be with him as much as possible in this chaotic world, and you want to show him your affection by showing off the presents you bought for him.

“Honey, guess what I did,” you say, dragging the designer bags behind you as you squeeze in next to him. Nanami moves one of his legs over to offer you the room but does little else to acknowledge your excitement as he hears your voice grating in his ear. “I went shopping today and that place you like had a huge sale on all their business wear. Apparently, they’re switching to their spring collections, so I got you a bunch of new clothes.”

You shuffle the paper lining of the bag, pull out a grey jacket, and force it into his hand. “Feel this,” you chirp proudly, “The clerk said it’s made with wool from Italy. I mean, I can’t really tell myself but it does feel nice! And I got the perfect shirt to go with it.”

“Here, try this on,” you tell him, receiving nothing but crickets in return. It’s quick for you to notice that he’s not paying the slightest bit of attention to you. “I’m talking to you. Kenny,” you say, fighting for his attention with a continuous poking to his shoulder. “Neee, Kenny.”

“Will you please stop doing that,” he finally says. It’s not the type of acknowledgment you want as he waves your hand off of him. “I don’t have the energy to play around with you right now.”

“The ener—Kento Nanami!”

He groans softly to himself. “(y/n), I’ll try it on later, but I had a very long day and need you to stop annoying me for thirty minutes," he says, showing clear lack of care of the new issue you had concerning his choice of words.

You’ve never heard him talk like this to you before not since you were dumb kids in high schools. You never got the feeling he actually meant it back then but this time you can’t stop your mind from yelling that he was serious about finding you irritating. “Forget it,” you tell him, mumbling a soft “jerk” under your breath.

When you go to sleep that night, it’s with your back to him instead of your arm slung around his waist. You wake up early that morning, make breakfast as usual, and start ironing your clothes for work. Nanami is already dressed in his signature wardrobe and grabs his house keys.

“I’m leaving.”

“Alright.”

He waits at the door, not really sure what he’s waiting for as he jostles his keys in his hand. He catches a glimpse at his watch. He’s ten minutes early today despite sticking to his strict schedule.

Ah. He remembers now. He was waiting for you to come to the door and fuss over him before he leaves. You’d clumsily pull on his tie, trying to fix what’s not broken, even though you’re terrible at tying them and can never seem to learn to do it right no matter how many times he shows you. Then, he’d have to spend extra time fixing what you messed up.

As if expecting you to come do that, he repeats, “(y/n), I’m leaving.”

“Mhm, have a good day.”

Nanami waits a few more seconds before marking off in his head that you must’ve been too busy with your routine to come fuss over him for today.

After a much better day than the last, he returns home expecting to hear your voice ringing out across the house to welcome him back, but you don’t budge from your spot on the couch nor do you move to cozy up with him when he sits down next to you after settling in for the night.

In fact, you scoot away.

“What are you doing?”

“Mm…just getting comfortable,” you explain softly, and he doesn’t make any complaint to stop you as you wiggle a little uncomfortably.

Nanami could tell something was wrong. Normally, you’d be all over him the second you’d see him after a long day. Normally, you’d be begging him to give you kisses. Normally, you’d at least ask how his day has been.

“I think I’m going to head to bed early. Goodnight, Kenn—Kento,” you correct, remembering he doesn’t like it when you use that name even though you love it. Otherwise, he might say you’re aggravating him again.

And perhaps you had been annoying. The two of you weren’t always on the same rhythm personality-wise, and you had been told plenty before that you could be exhausting to deal with, clingy, annoying to be around. You don’t know why you’d always trust Nanami to never be the person to tell you that.

You sniffle to yourself, wiping the wetness from your nostrils. You head into your room and climb into bed with a sigh as you cuddled up alone with your sheets and close your eyes for a blissful few minutes of quiet with your thoughts. You don’t hear when Nanami comes in, watching you curl up to yourself.

“(y/n).”

You hesitate to answer, needing the time to calm yourself first to stop your voice from trembling, to stop yourself from shaking. “Yeah?”

“You’re behaving strangely. Do you mind telling me what’s the matter?”

“Nothing is the matter. I’m just tired,” you answer.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me. Enjoy your alone time.”

“If this is about before. I’m sorry about what I said. It was uncalled for to take my frustration out on you.”

“It’s fine,” you fake a yawn, as if not to care, “I forgive you.”

Nanami doesn’t pry any further even as he can feel the negative aura still hanging around your form like cursed energy. He leans over to kiss your forehead but as you pull away, he decides to let you have your rest and to stop pressuring you into allowing him close.

He decides to allow your rest, returning to the family room, still full of bags you bought yesterday. You could be so messy sometimes, but instead of scolding you, Kento decides to put everything away for you.

He starts to sort the bags in piles based on where they needed to go. Kitchen, bathroom, your clothes and his. He starts to put everything away, quietly shuffling through the house as not wake you.

It’s when he takes the time to start putting away your gifts that he finally runs his fingers over sterling grey. Full canvas, nice even lining, and you were right on it being wool as he runs his thumb over the sleeve. Slowly, he goes to the bathroom to try it on, but he has no doubt you managed to buy the perfect fit. Somehow you always do, and it always looks better than what he can find. No matter what it was.

“You’ll look handsome in it, Kenny.”

“I haven’t even tried it on.”

“My instincts are always right about this sort of thing.”

Looking at himself in the mirror, he bows his head forward against his palm, a growing irritation rising in him as he looks at the coat, but it’s at himself this time for hurting your feelings when you were trying to be nice to him.

When you got home from work, you immediately start to work on cleaning the living room so you can properly relax in a clean environment. You’re ready to collapse against the couch when you hear the front door cracking open, and you’re a little on edge, not expecting to see Nanami return in the middle of the afternoon.

“Kento, what’re you doing back so early. Did something happen at work? Are you okay?” you ask before railing yourself back to avoid crowding him, and he notices how uncomfortable you look as you hold your hands in front of yourself to create imaginary distance between him and yourself.

“I took the day off so I could spend time with you today,” he tells you, confusing you as he holds up a bright purple paper bag to your eye height. “I got this for you.”

Curiously, you open the bag and reach inside to pull out your own designer wear and unfold it. You squeeze into the luxurious material in your hand. “This is nice,” you comment absentmindedly, smiling as you hold the outfit to your skin, “What is this for?”

“The suit. I like it,” he says, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “And considering how much you unconditionally spoil me, it’s only fair that I do the same to you once and a while.”

He clears his throat.

“(y/n), I’m sorry for hurting your feelings when I called you annoying. I didn’t mean it. I love you more than anything, and I wish I could show you as much as you show me; but hopefully, this will make it up to you even a little.”

Slowly, you soften and close the distance to drape one arm around his neck to hug him. Your lips softly brush against his cheek, making him crack a small smile. “I love you too, Kenny.”

[leggerefiore]

I'm rather surprised I hadn't realized no one was asking about the incomplete hybrid brothers! Honestly, since you wrote Arachnida, incomplete hybrid galvantula Ingo has taken up a ridiculous amount of my brain space.

I can imagine it's actually HARDER for him to find a mate than Emmet; with Emmet, you can't deny he's a hybrid; it's all on the table when you approach him to date him. Meanwhile, Ingo is actively hiding his arachnidan traits; he needs to appear as human as possible to minimize discrimination while working as a subway boss, so he's gotta be way more on guard when it comes to dating. It'll only take one bigoted person to reveal his hybrid identity and possibly lead to him being fired, and the general public turning on him for it. Add his insanely busy work schedule and he simply just gives up on the idea of romance, despite how desperately he wants a family. For a few years he's just vicariously living through his brother before he meets his s/o.

I headcanon it's probably someone who comes from a place with little or no hybrids and not much knowledge on the subject, and they learn about what hybrids are like simply through the friendship they build with Ingo. It starts with something simple like noticing his hidden eyes when he goes to wipe his brow on a hot day, to seeing him do some strange hybrid behavior that they ask Ingo to explain (he's mildly mortified, but future s/o is just curious about them!) to being BLOWN AWAY when they finally meet Emmet for the first time. Like, come on, you can't deny how mind blowing it is that these twins have such incredibly different bodies simply due to how Ingo developed differently than his brother. Future s/o finds all the things that makes them different charming and finds themselves wanting to know more as they fall more in love with Ingo, while Ingo falls for them as he comes to truly appreciate how much they embrace and respect him not only for his differences as a hybrid, but the things that make him unique as an incomplete hybrid as well.

SORRY I know the other ask was long w/ my ideas on incomplete hybrid Ingo headcanons wrt dating so here's a few heacdanons on his biology too (feel free to add your own ideas or debate mine as well):

Ingo actually started growing the extra legs before he stopped developing as a hybrid, but they were small and vestigial. He had them surgically removed because the way they jutted from his waist made it difficult to wear shirts. He has long matching scars on both sides of his wait where they were removed.

Because he rarely uses his venom (probably mostly eats fast food and small, quick meals) he has a hard time controlling his venom flow, specifically making it stop. The first time he gives his s/o a few love bites he injects so much venom in them their heart almost stops and he has to dump them off at the emergency room and flee. (He does not WANT to abandon them there but he will absolutely get arrested if they know he did this.) He feels like the biggest dirtbag ever over the whole incident. He's sent you no less than 142 message over the course of the day and a half you were hospitalized apologizing and self-flagellating over almost killing you. He's bawling when you get home and you have to assure him that you know it was an accident, and no, you're not gonna leave him. Stuff happens and you know he'd never do this on purpose.

Emmet and his mom don't believe that such a thing can be true of such a gentle son/brother until you have him demonstrate for them by having him bite into one of those venom collection cups. They're both staring at him wide-eyed as he shoots just… an absolutely comical amount of venom into the cup at breakneck speed. Just a solid stream of venom. His mom says "Ok, that's enough, we get it" and Ingo takes his fangs out of the cup and tries to stop but he's struggling to stop the flow and his own venom is pouring out of his mouth as he's trying to speak and it's dripping down his chin and this is easily the most mortified you have or ever will see Ingo in his life.

It takes you a long while after this to convince him to give you love bites again, and only because you practically beg for it. You loved the sensation of it the first time, just not when it got to the point where it almost killed you. He's been working on his venom control since the incident, so the injection isn't quite as strong as the first time, but he still times how long he bites very carefully so as not to overwhelm you, and he still has venom dripping down his lips after each bite. Thankfully, orally ingested venom isn't nearly as potent as when it is injected directly into the blood stream, so you're still happy to make out with him after without being poisoned again.

SORRY I JUST HAVE SO MANY IDEAS and I am trying not to send just one giant wall of an ask that is completely incomprehensible and impossible to read. Final thought based on your response to my first ask: Ingo's s/o finding out that he can make small bits of webbing, but not enough actually make use of, so s/o asks Ingo to make however much he can and put it to the side for the s/o. He's not sure why they're asking because it's really just so little, but over the course of a few weeks or months there's actually a decent sized pile growing on s/os desk until one day it's gone. Ingo feels a little dejected because was his silk not good enough? You had asked him for it, hadn't you? But he doesn't say anything about it; just assumes you gave up on it, because he was a bad mate who couldn't provide enough silk for his partner. But about a week later he sees you wearing a sweater you made from the silk he had produced!

You found out about how mareep and wooloo wool could be made into skeins, so you had wanted to try it with galvantula webbing. You had waited to collect enough silk to try to make a skein with, and then gone to a crafts place where you could rent a spinning wheel to attempt to make the skein, and when your experiment was a success, you couldn't help but go straight into making something you could wear to remind you of him when he was away. Ingo is overjoyed that you were so creative and talented enough to be able to take his meager offerings and turn them into something beautiful. Man just straight up bawls for hours while telling you how much he loves you.

He ends up buying you a spinning wheel (they are quite expensive, hence why you wanted to try on a rented one first!) and it becomes a ritual where he adds his silk to a pile near the wheel and you craft it into skeins once there's enough to make webs and blankets from. Nothing makes him happier to call you his mate than when you create the first web blanket from his own silk to cradle his firstborn in.

-

i had no idea incomplete hybrid ingo was so beloved... does he need some proper HCs, too? also wonderful, wonderful thoughts anon

It is definitely harder for Ingo to date. Hybrids are seen as weird, freaskish creatures that shouldn't be apart of polite society, but incomplete hybrids are living testimonies as why humans shouldn't mate with them. They're deformed, not quite human or monster beings who probably live entire lives of pain and suffering. They don't. There may be discomfort from how they develop the features from whatever hybrid they're mixed with, especially if they are essentially useless and vestigial , as you said.

His father taught him how to pretend to be human, as Ingo begged him to in a want to support Emmet and his mother should something happen to his father. He attended many different schools before settling on homeschooling because as he developed more unfortunate arachnid features came through. The underdeveloped appendages during his later teens, an attempt as a third pair of eyes that were never to be and just sealed back closed, and, of course, his venom problem. He likely found out about it when biting into something soft, like bread, during elementary school. It just kept coming, and he was sobbing, terrified of what a freak he so clearly was. His father was called and claimed he had some rare saliva related disorder, before dragging him away.

Ingo definitely accepted the idea of living his life alone. He dreams of a family and settling down with someone, but his youth left him a bit traumatised about how humans view him while the experiences of his adulthood have taught him just how vile both incomplete and complete hybrids are viewed. A few coworkers from when he started as a depot agent told him all about how they used to chase hybrids out of the station when they tried to ride the train and asked if Ingo was interested in participating. His knowledge of 'pretending' kicked in, and he agreed. The vile terms and physicality they hit the poor Ariados hybrid with left deep scars on his soul. An unspoken companionship with the hybrid led to him creating some false emergency situation and rushing them to safety. They knew what he is instantly, able to smell his pheromones. He was thanked so many times before they rushed off.

Needless to say, he swept away those who were openly biased toward hybrids when he ascended the workplace ladder. His life is spent a bit in paranoia that he will be revealed as an incomplete hybrid and experience what he had growing up. That wasn't to say people weren't accepting of him, Elesa, a full human, loved him like a sibling and even encouraged him to start hinting at his status. He refused. Just because a cat boy could be an Elite Four member did not mean an incomplete spider hybrid could run the subways.

He definitely removed some of his useless features in pursuit of becoming a 'proper human being', his mother and brother mortified at the thought. When he returned home from his surgery, his mother just clicked sadly at him. Her six eyes refused to leave where the limbs once were. He also struggled with not clicking when he was younger, as it was the main form in which he communicated with his family, barring his father. Kids thought he was weird and bullied him for his strange habit. Ingo refused to click for the longest time afterwards, once again upsetting his mother and brother. She sat him down, eventually, to remind him that he would never be a human no matter how much he tried. Her love for him was unyielding, but it hurt her to see him reject so much of himself.

This is why, when Ingo is at home or with his brother or Elesa, he uses his second pair of eyes. Usually, he tries to only speak in clicks with Emmet unless it would be exclusionary to do so. Elesa tried to learn their language but messed up horribly and send either complete nonsense or something a bit vulgar.

Also, Ingo would quite literally die if his mate took his seemingly useless silk and made it into something. He wants to learn what their doing, as well. It might not be the traditional way of weaving his silk, but it is the closest he can get. His heart is full when he sees his newborn son wrapped in a blanket from his web.

Funnily enough, Emmet used to bully Ingo for having uncontrollable poison glands. It got to a point where his mother was constantly intervening. Though, she was confused by his inability to. It was quite easy. She tries to teach him, but he just gives up and sticks to human food. He prefers it. He says, not jealous at all of Emmet's pretty webs that can actually catch things. Or his venom control. Or his nicer, stronger electrical pulse. Or his properly developing body. Ingo could live with humans unlike him. That was cooler. He's standing there with his arms crossed and nearly in tears.

As touched on before, incomplete hybrid Ingo reproduces like humans, so his kid will be a live-birth plus full term human pregnancy. On the bright side, this completely sells the illusion he's human. On the down side, his kid also has four eyes. Less spider features however, if his mate is a human.

Bonus: Incomplete Hybrid Warden Ingo terrifies Melli with his endless venom trick. Lady Sneaseler loves their typing match and is protective over her weird not-bug, not-human. Jublife is confused by him. Is he a human Warden? Are those allowed by the clans? Cyllene is terrified when she learns he's a bug type hybrid. How do they look so human now? Ingo can't recall, but he feels like it's definitely related to the scars on his abdomen. He traces them with sorrow, the sensation bring forth odd emotions. He clicks to himself, but the meanings are lost on him. Why does he recall himself looking like a complete hybrid when he tries to think back? He's terribly confused and depressed. He devotes himself entirely to his Warden duties to distract himself while searching for a mate. His heart feels empty, so he's seeking to fill it. A family seems like a good place to start. He hopes for twins as children.

[greenplumbboblover]

UPDATED: Functional Sheep (Look! A living sheep!) V1.1 & V1.2

Some of you might have noticed update V1.1 (Which I totally forgot to share! 😬) So I figured I’d combine them in this announcement post! :)

Get them here:

MTS | PATREON

What's new?!

V1.2 (hotfix):

Accidentally made a jig object that, if the sheep used that a lot, could generate about hundreds of them, which caused a massive lag around the sheep area (or the horse ball rather than they were using)

HOW TO FIX THIS IN YOUR EXISTING SAVE: I was creating some very unnecessary Jigs. So around where the horse ball is, make sure that with Nraas and use the 'Debug enabler' radius purge (so you click on one object, say, the horse ball, and go to nraas > Debug enabler > Radius purge. That should delete all the jigs (which are hidden) With the new update this won't happen anymore and no Jigs are created (aka no more lag around the horse ball) Alternatively, you can also do this by doing: "MC > Object Stats > Non-Inventory > [jig] > Flush" which is a great thing to do anyways as EA also doesn't always remove jigs properly Huge thanks to SonjaYU for the bug report!

V1.1:

Optimised an issue where the Alarms assigned to the sheep in the background were slowing down the game. (other lags are actually not related to the sheep, I've tested this throughout as of this update)

NPC sheep can now do more needs-related stuff. (however, they won't die if you don't give them a hitching post or whatever)

NPC sheep can now be used to get wool for Zoe's knitting mod

NPC sheep can be abducted now. But you won't be able to save them!

Fixed a bug where sheep would use the Horseball all at once :p (or stand awkwardly in the ball after finishing, resulting into some awesome images sent in by some people testing the mod :p)

Fix for when switching worlds and there are incredibly buggy sheep (I'll spare the technical details) But if your sheep are disappearing after loading/switching a world, that's why. I'd recommend re-buying said sheep.

Increase the move time to fix lag on low-end computers (between 30 min - 60 min)

Brightened the texture for the eyes (see new screenshots) because I do read Reddit and I have seen the comments on the sole eating darkness in the eyes (Which I agree with lol) So this one is for you! Next time feel free to comment that here though, I can take it :p

"I'm not seeing the ‘collect wool’ option!"

Make sure to do 2 things to fix this:

Buy a new sheep after each update. Else things get buggy!

You can't just endlessly shear a sheep! So once you have bought that new sheep, you have to wait a few hours before the option shows up. Sheep come with a cooldown before it reaches '1'. Every 20 min, the growth increases by +0.10, which can be tuned with Nraas Returner!

Important NOTE: It may happen after this update that nraas will throw an error on either the sheep or lot. This is because on each worldload I'm 'resetting' the sheep, which could mean that it either complains about null references that are being cleaned up right at the same time nraas loaded the world, or because of setting up the animations. Don't worry about this! This is just a conflict issue with nraas's 'error checking' and my mod re-instantiating your sheep :)

[cocosstories]

Tom Holland One Shot

Prompt:

Hey, a little request for Tom Holland. He and the reader are at the red carpet for his new movie, and the reader is very nervous because it's their first time at such an event. Thank you <3

The week had gone by in a blur as you got ready for your very first red carpet appearance and movie premiere.

Your boyfriend Tom, had invited you to the screening for his new movie Cherry and you were so nervous.

Not only would it be the first time you would be in front of all of the paparazzi, but it was also the first time, you and Tom had been to an official event as a couple.

He has promised you that everything was going to be fine and you would have fun but you couldnt help but worry about every little detail.

You wanted the night to be perfect, most for Tom. He had worked so hard and eas so proud of the movie and you didnt want to mess up his big night.

You spent hours in a dress shop, trying to find the absolute perfect dress for the occasion, finally deciding on a deep maroon, silk, strapless dress that would complement Tom's suit very well.

The shoes were an easier choice, going with black stilettos and finally a small black clutch to finish off the look.

The day of the premiere had rolled around and you spent most of it getting ready.

Late morning, your mom took you to get your nails done then to the salon for your hair and finally after a quick stop to her house for the perfect necklace and earrings, you went to a friends place for your make up.

You had never realized until then, just what it takes for the ladies in Hollywood to get all glammed up for an event and honestly by the time you got home to get dressed, you were already exhausted.

The doorbell rang as you looked in the mirror at yourself and you hear your mom call up letting you know Tom had arrived.

You take a deep breath and head out and down the stairs, Tom waiting at the base of them with your mom.

"Wow you look incredible."

He says in awe of the beauty in front of him. To be fair, Tom told you multiple times a day how beautiful you were but today the words came out breathlessly as he stared, his eyes never leaving yours.

"You are looking pretty incredible yourself Mr. Holland."

You reply taking his now outstretched hand as he leads you out to the waiting limo.

"Everything is going to be fine love."

Tom reassures you as the limo pulls up to the entrance of the red carpet and notices you begin to shake when you see all of the cameras and fans around.

You werent really one for big crowds but you knew it was something you would have to get used sooner or later when you began dating Tom. He had kept you pretty much out of the spotlight for the first year of your relationship but now you would be in full view of everyone and that terrified you.

Tom got out of the car first, the crowd going crazy when they see him, and he waves before placing a hand out to help you out of the car.

"I've got you."

He whispers in your ear just as the two of you are ushered off down the red carpet by a woman in a headset.

Tom holds your hand tightly as you walk beside him, stopping when you reach the first set of photographers and journalists.

"Tom! Tom! Who are you with tonight?"

"Is this your girlfriend?"

"Can you look over here for a picture?"

Voices come from what seems like all around you and you try your best to remember to smile and mimic his movements, not wanting to look stupid or make him look bad.

You continue walking down the red carpet and Tom is told he needs to do an interview with E! News with Guiliana Rancic.

He walks up to her, letting go of your hand as you stand a few feet behind him.

"We are being joined by the films star Tom Holland. You look great tonight Tom."

Guiliana says with a big smile.

"As do you darling."

"Who are you here with tonight?"

Your heart skips a beat when you hear the question. You were ready for the pictures and being seen by the fand but a T.V. camera was a lot scarier.

Tom looks back and reaches for you.

"This is my beautiful girlfriend Y/F/N Y/L/N."

He annouces, proudly showing you off.

"You look stunning tonight Y/N."

Guiliana exclaims.

"Thank you. I love your dress."

You try your best to sound completely at ease but know your nerves are showing through and mentally keck yourself.

"Thank you! Tom, where have you been hiding this wonderful woman?"

She turns the questioning back to Tom which you are eternally greatful for.

"Well, you know i just wanted to keep her to myself for a while but now i think i am ready to share her with everyone."

"Sounds to me like Mr. Tom Holland is in love!"

The excitment in her voice made you smile.

"I am. Y/N is the most wonderful person i have ever met. I am honestly lucky she even gave me a chance in the first place and I couldnt imagine doing this night without her."

A collective 'aww' is heard in the immediate vicinity.

"Well, there you have it Tom Holland is officially off the market! Sorry ladies!"

The three of you laugh and the interview ends.

"See, that wasnt so bad. She loved you!"

You head off into the theater where it was definitely a lot more quiet.

"I don't know how, i didn't really say anything. I know she could tell i was nervous."

Your voice sounded sad as you spoke. You didn't want to be the reason Tom's big night was ruiend.

"Oh love, none of that matters. This is your first red carpet and not your last if i have anything to say about it. They all know that. You don't think i wasnt nervous my first time around? Hell, i still get nervous sometimes. You will get the hang of it i promise."

He pulls you off to the side, away from everyone else and takes you into his arms, kissing your forehead.

"You want me to go to other events with you?"

The surprise in your voice that accompanied your question made him laugh.

"Every single one. I always want you by my side. I love you, Y/N and now the world knows it."

It was nowhere near the first time he had said those words to you but somehow, it felt just as amazing as it did that first time.

"I love you too Tom. But, there is one thing i am still worried about."

You pull back from his arms to look in his face.

"What's that, darling?"

He asks, a bit worried at how serious you look.

"Who is going to break the news to Harrison that he is no longer your date for events? It's going to break his heart."

You giggle at your own joke and Tom laughs along with you.

"He's a big boy, I think he will be alright but maybe we should do something special for him, to you know, soften the blow."

Tom jokes back as the two of you head into the theater to get your seats, still laughing at Harrison's expense.

Feedback is always welcomed and greatly appreciated

[mochibrokenheart]

SVSSS: Guardian of the Museum

Mobei Jun x Shang Qinghua

Word Count: 2,756

Summary: Of course there's ominous growling and destruction to the building on Shang Qinghua's first night as a museum curator. Of course there is! Besides being desperate to keep the job, he's not sure what possesses him to actually walk toward the dangerous situation. His survival instincts were better trained that! Except...wait a minute...the terrifying creature causing all the ruckus is actually the hottest thing he's ever seen???

My first contribution for Moshang Monsterfucking Month (and my first fic for the fandom in general!) Heavy on the monster part as the nsfw is not explicit. Who knew that it would be hard to write something short. Inspired by the Day 2 prompt: horny.

Also posted on my Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34305571

A nearby bell tolled at midnight just as Shang Qinghua locked up the museum for the night, which meant that he was officially off for the weekend. Being a party of one, he celebrated with a groovy victory dance while turning the key over in the lock.

There was a little click and he rattled the knob, checking that the door was properly locked—if anything was stolen or vandalized during the night, he would most definitely be blamed as the recent hire!

The job was an important stepping stone in his career path plan to being a rare artifacts curator. He really needed the experience. It was hard enough to land the job, so he wasn’t above looking neurotic by double, and triple, and quadruple checking everything before he left.

A chilly breeze tussled his hair and raised goosebumps down his neck. It was October, he supposed while drawing up his hood to block the chill, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to complain.

He was much to delicate for cold temperatures and would exercise his right to curse out the changing seasons. Of course, he could move somewhere further south, so that he wouldn’t have to put up with it anymore, but still!

The only good thing about the loss of summer was the bugs, he decided.

Clearly, Shang Qinghua was irresistible because bugs treated his blood like an all-you-can buffet. If only hot men thought the same. But alas.

Sighing, he turned up to admire the full moon, who seemed to sympathize with the sad state of his romantic affairs, being the moon and all. Something about it’s pale gray-white color naturally emoted a sad, longing reflection.

It was as he was looking up that he heard a growl, loud not because of its pitch—it was actually quite low and gravelly—but because it vibrated the very air around him.

Shit. Shit. He wasn’t equipped to deal with some beast! He had no weapons and there was no way his body was going to get the job done either. He was a delicate flower, just ask the bugs who always feasted on him!

He rummaged through his bag frantically for his phone. That was what the authorities were for.

Opening his phone, his mind was racing. Who did you call when there was a potentially wild animal on the loose? The police? Animal control?

Gasp! What if it turned out to be a demon?

…!!!

He didn’t have any shamans or priests on speed dial. There had never been a reason to until then but if it would save him, he’d buy up every type of religious necklace he could and wear them around his neck daily. It was like insurance—it never hurt to cover all of his bases.

While he was wasting time on the sidewalk, what appeared to be small bits of gravel drifted down from what seemed like the roof. Scurrying to get closer to the streetlight, which casted a circular light on the steps of the museum, Shang Qinghua bent down to get a closer look.

It felt dusty when he rubbed his pointer finger against his thumb and did match the shade of stone the building was…The new evidence presented a bit of dilemma. Yes, he was still itching to call somebody have them do the dangerous work, but at the same time, his boss might fire him if something happened to the museum under his watch.

“Well, if there’s more damage, I guess I’ll take a look,” he muttered. He clasped his hands together. “But please, take mercy on me, moon! I promise that if you get me out of this that my next erotica will be dedicated solely to you, and in very large print, so that my readers know the reach of your mystical power!”

His hands remained clasped high above his head as he waited. So far so good.

There was still the scary growls, of course, but those didn’t count because he wasn’t going to investigate that. It was absolutely common knowledge that people who investigated weird sounds always ended up dead, at least in horror movies, and that was all the proof he needed to wash his hands of it.

No, the only thing that could sway him from his crouch on the front steps was…was…

Tears shimmered in his eyes as more rubble was knocked off from the roof, the fine particles irritating his nose and causing him to sneeze.

Thoroughly betrayed, he used his sleeve to wipe at his nose. Forget the moon. Clearly the bond he felt had only been one-sided, and now he was obligated to actually suck it up and put himself in harms way.

The Shang Qinghua of five minutes ago would’ve screamed and called himself a fool. Why ignore those highly honed flight instincts?! Even the Shang Qinghua of the present was screaming and calling himself a fool when he took the first hesitant step inside.

It was deceptively quiet in the stairwell but that wasn’t enough to calm him. As the saying went, it was the calm before the shit storm and he was about to be right in the middle of it. How careless of him.

Just in case this was the end, he started to draft an epitaph—it’s not like anyone else would put in the same amount of effort. 

His minor following would be too busy wailing about the permanent book hiatus; his boss would have their hands full dealing with insurance over the architectural damage; and that hot-and-cold cucumber bro of his would still be nagging him in the afterlife, criticizing him for his stupid plan when it ‘clearly would’ve been better to do such and such’. But back to him.

We are gathered here to mourn the passing of one Shang Qinghua, a bright hamster that was taken from Earth far too soon. His exhibit work was flawless, his knack for collections cataloging unrivaled. There was never a day without bountiful office supplies with him around. We thank him for his singular brave—foolish?—sacrifice in the name of historical value. Shang Qinghua is survived by several dying houseplants and the stray dog he usually fed on his way home from work.

There. That sounded as good as he was likely to get. Wait. No. He almost left out the most important part: the secret letter of last words meant only for cucumber bro’s eyes. Bro, if you’re reading this it’s because I died a terrible and scary death. Please take pity and wipe all of my search history. It was all for research, honest! It’s bad taste to judge a dead man.

The access door to the roof was large and imposing in front of him, even though there was still no noise coming from the other side. He was going to be mad and then relieved, in that exact order, if this turned out to be nothing.

He inhaled. Exhaled. Jumped around and shook his hands where they hung down beside the length of his body. He’d watched enough athletes—for research!—throughout his short life and getting loose always seemed to pump them up for competition. The same principle should apply here.

The door gave with a loud screech and he suspected that it wasn’t in regular use. Not that there was probably much to see up there anyway. Just roosting pigeons, stone slabs, and—

His mind went blank.

Crouching in the corner, so close to the edge that all it would take was a gust of wind to send him tumbling down, was some sort of winged creature. And the wings were massive things that arched up before curving downward completely over it’s back, the tips draped on the ground. Judging by how large they were, they had to be functional, which nearly caused him to wet himself. 

He didn’t want to imagine that thing taking flight after him. Not that he would be exciting prey. Gods, this probably how a mouse felt when a hawk was flying overhead.

But it was the horns that really caught his attention. They were hulking black spirals and the sharp points were pointed right at him. Even in the poor light, it was obvious that they were pure black. Any other time, he might comment on how cool they actually were, how they were a cosplayer’s dream, but it wasn’t cool when it was a matter of life and death. 

And he would most certainly die if those menacing horns and wings were any indication.

Trying to keep the element of surprise, he slowly let the door swing shut. Until a little bat started flew over squeaking, which caused him to squeak as well. The door hit the frame with a loud rattle. His body went heavy with fear and his eyes snapped shut, a natural prey response. He had never, ever been this scared.  

Not patient enough for Shang Qinghua to turn around on his own, the creature flung him around to face it with an aggressive growl. And he had thought it was loud when he was on the sidewalk. Which wasn’t true at all. It was much louder and more intimidating when it was right in his face.

“Trespasser!” it growled, teeth clicking.

…Okay, so it could talk. Maybe this was a good thing. Now could grovel with it to spare him!

Blinking rapidly, he opened his eyes and looked up, up, up. It didn’t look as horrific from the front as it did the back. In fact, it had a humanoid appearance and was distinctly male. He was the hottest thing he’d ever seen, a total fantasy come to life. How the hell was he real?

His was incredibly tall, his huge wings proportional to his size now that he was standing up. Now that he saw them up close, Shang Qinghua noticed that they were a beautiful shade of blue that started out dark but lightened to pale blue once it reached the tips, which also had sharp spikes—Nails? Claws? He wasn’t well versed in anatomy—attached.

The top of his ears were pointy, too, just like the tops of the wings. Oh, and the horns! There were two of them, both pure, glossy obsidian, that sprouted out on either side of his temple, the bases thick and ridged as they spiraled like a ram’s. The only difference was that his horns were much larger. He could maul someone with those along if he wasn’t careful.

But now that he considered it more—even in times of crisis, he could multi-task when it really counted—the horns only added more to his attractiveness. They were intimating, sure, but also sexy, in a monsterfucking type of way. He gasped as a clawed hand wrapped around his throat. Yep, he could definitely get into the horns and claws. Mark him down as scared and horny.

The growling died down but sharp teeth were still on display, and there was a stylized tattoo-looking mark on his forehead. Despite the snarl, Shang Qinghua instinctively knew that his face was insanely attractive; it had to be to match the rest of him. Speaking of the rest of him…

He dropped down in front of him, making sure to drag his hands down that ripped physique and gave his massive pectorals a quick squeeze before he landed on his knees in a kneeling position. 

His face was right in front of the creature’s impressive package, covered only by a flimsy loin cloth. It fluttered in the night breeze and he had to bite down on his finger to stop his depraved moaning. “Ff-forgive me, my good-demon-sir, but I swear I’m not trespassing. I’m a humble worker here at this museum.”

He quickly took out his employee badge to offer it up to the demon who barely gave it a glance. “Gargoyle,” it said in reply.

“Oh. I’m sorry but I don’t really know what you mean by that.” Wait, why did he say that? He didn’t want to get further in the demon’s bad side than he already was! “I mean no offense, of course. I’m sure gargoyles are absolutely lovely—”

“No,” he interrupted, his face smoothed out into blank slate. It made it harder to read him but Shang Qinghua quickly decided that it was alright. “I am a gargoyle, human. You may address me as Mobei Jun.”

Ohhh. Now that he mentioned it, his wings and horns could belong to a gargoyle. He knew that they were popular parts historical buildings that had a strong Western influence, which the museum did.

“And I am a king. Not a sir.”

Curse his authority kink. He was sure that any new fantasies he conjured up would be staring this particular king and Shang Qinghua as his servant.

“Of course, my king! You’re reeking of kingly handsomeness. As a lowly human, my apologies for the obvious mistake.” The gargoyle king didn’t make any move to acknowledge his words other than a slow blink, so he figured that it was all good. “Excuse me if this sounds rude, but what are you doing up here? And what was all the noise about?”

“Guardian. I was charged with the safety of this place by a war lord.” Jeez. So he’d been with the building for centuries at least, maybe even millennia.

There was a pause and he realized that he wasn’t going to answer the second question. It also seemed like the gargoyle king was waiting on him and a light bulb went off. “S-sorry again my king. I am Shang Qinghua. I am in charge of the rare artifacts inside of the building, so you may see me closing up most nights.”

The gargoyle king nodded sagely and he figured that the role must be acceptable to him. A loud sigh left him and his muscles relaxed just in the slightest way. He might survive this encounter yet. Ever better, survive and be able to go home and break out that new bottle of lube that he bought last week. There was plenty of new material to work with, that was for sure.

Then the gargoyle stepped back, giving him more space, which was actually the opposite of what he wanted. Feel free to punish him for earlier transgressions, king, especially if they were rough in a sexy way!

Unaware of his inner pleadings, he continued walking away to crouch back near the edge of the roof.

“Umm, be careful, king. It’s dangerous to be that close—”

“I am a king. Concerns such as that are not applicable,” he said, puffing up his chest. Those pecs! He might have to put in a request tomorrow to do more work on the roof. It was a crime that no one was admiring that body on a regular basis. “Leave. Return home. The circles under your eyes are hideous.”

He gasped, touching his bags. Rude! He had just finished a long shift and definitely wasn’t at his best. He was going to have to step up his game if he was going to tempt this gargoyle in the future. Trying his best not to show embarrassment, or disappointment, he agreed to leave.

“Whatever you want, my king. I’ll leave for now but if you need anything, I’ll be back tomorrow and the day after as well. In fact, every night, in case you need me.” Screw his weekend off. Who needed one of those when there was a hot gargoyle of legend serving as the guardian of the museum. Not him, that’s who.

He scrambled to his feet and bowed again for good measure. The door was open and he was across the threshold when his dream gargoyle muttered something. “Did you say something, my king?”

He cleared his throat and spoke gruffly. “The pigeons pooped in my hair.”

Suddenly, the growling from earlier made sense. No matter if you were human or gargoyle, having birds shit in your hair, especially hair as luscious as Mobei Jun’s, was bound to make anyone furious.

Determined to keep his laughs to himself if it was the last thing he did, he merely replied, “Yes, my king. I will make sure to chase them away from you next time.”

“See that you do.”

On cloud nine, Shang Qinghua grinned as he bounded down the stairwell. The gargoyle’s comment implied that there would be a next time. And he intended to romance the loincloth off (literally) of the serious gargoyle king.

Hope you all enjoyed! So happy to share this with everyone. Thanks for reading :)

[narrans]

A Tall and Small Collection | Soren | Square One Again

Rey yawned and rubbed his eyes. For the first time in several weeks, he had a restful sleep and he felt at ease once again being with his oldest brother; however, it was short lived. Upon opening his eyes, he suddenly realized that Soren wasn’t beside him – Dorian was.

Before his mind could race and send him spiraling into panic, he looked around to see Soren sitting at the edge of their makeshift bed.

“Hey,” Soren said softly. “Good morning.” Soren smiled warmly. He had missed how Soren’s smile spread all the way through to his eyes. The moment would have gone unspoiled if Rey didn’t spot Ashlynn sitting up in bed.

His eyes widened and he naturally shrunk back into the covers, bringing them under his chin and over his mouth. Soren noticed this shift and glanced back to Ashlynn. Without a word, she folded the covers off of her body, got up, and headed for the kitchen. Soren and Rey both let out an involuntary exhale, each for different reasons. Soren shook his thoughts away and looked to his youngest brother.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked. Rey pulled the blankets from his face and played with the edges of the fabric. It was very soft between his fingers. He couldn’t help but look at the door where the human left through.

“Yeah,” he murmured. His eyes eventually found his brother’s eyes, for the first time noticing the circles beneath them.

“You… stayed up all night?” he asked. Soren nodded.

“I told you I would,” Soren replied. Their speaking, though still low, was enough to stir Dorian. His brown furrowed as he inhaled slowly and deeply. He winced as he stretched, undoubtedly tugging at the wounds beneath his bandages. Dorian’s eyes flittered open before he became instantly alert and sat up.

“Soren? Where’s the… is she…” Dorian looked around. Soren felt a hint of pride in his brother’s vigilance and concern.

“It’s okay,” Soren soothed, pulling himself further onto the makeshift bed. “She’s making breakfast. It’ll take a while.” Both of the younger brothers exchanged a nervous glance – and Soren could guess that there were a few reasons behind it. “I know she makes you nervous, but it’s really okay.” This didn’t seem to reassure them. To his surprise, Rey spoke up first.

“We… well… dad said that you might be different; that humans had this effect on us over time.” Rey’s statement was reminiscent of what Dorian said the night before. It stung. Soren sighed and shook his head, jaw clenching and unclenching involuntarily. Soren shook his thoughts away. He couldn’t think about that right now.

“I’m going to tell you what I told Dorian yesterday,” he started. “I haven’t changed – no matter what Brady said. I had to improvise to survive and made some difficult choices including staying with Ashlynn because I could not take care of myself with my leg injured like this.”

Soren breathed in shakily. “Which brings me to something I know we need to talk about, and you’re not going to like it. We have to stay here a little longer.” Dorian and Rey glanced at one another and then back to him, their slightly dulled blue eyes conveying nervousness and uncertainty.

“S-stay? For how long?” asked Dorian. His thumb absentmindedly traced over the bandages Soren placed on his forearm. “Why can’t we leave?”

Rey nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’re together now. We have you,” agreed Rey. Soren nodded and smiled. He didn’t want to shatter their perception of him. He was the older brother – the undefeatable hero always able to pull through at the last possible moment. Perhaps it was selfish, but Soren coveted those moments.

“Yes, we’re together – and that’s not going to change; however,” Soren sighed heavily, and his brothers took notice. “I am still hurt. My leg is on the mend and it should be better soon. Until then, I can’t borrow. I can’t run. I can’t carry my bag or anything I find. I can barely climb.” The brothers’ faces began to fill with worry. It was heart crushing.

“B…but… what are we going to do?” whimpered Dorian. Soren leaned forward and clasped his brothers’ hands. Their eyes fixed onto his.

“We’re going to stay for just a little bit longer,” said Soren calmly. “I’ll talk to Ashlynn – she’s the human – and have some arrangements made. We can put our beds on the ground under the bed or just inside the wall; but, until I get better, we have to stay nearby.” They looked reluctant and still unsure, but nodded. To Soren, it looked like they were possibly accepting their perceived fate of captivity.

Soren knew there was nothing he could say in that moment to calm them further. Even he was unsure until very recently about Ashlynn and her intentions. Guard always at the ready. Fate accepted in the worst-case scenario. Soren could hardly say he was as okay as he let on. He shook his thoughts away. There was no time to think about such things now.

His eyelids grew heavy and threatened to close on him. Was he really that tired? The yawn that crept up on him was barely stifled as he returned his attention to his brothers. He needed to find out what happened to that pathetic excuse of a dad, Brady, and fill in the pieces that only Dorian and Rey knew.

“Trust me,” he said finally with another reassuring smile. He saw them nod in acknowledgment, which was enough for now. “Now… I know it only happened yesterday, but I need you to tell me what has happened while I was gone. Where did you go? Where have you been living? Where is Br… I mean, your dad?”

Dorian and Rey both shuffled under the covers closer together, as if their simple proximity with one another would make the situation better and make them more comfortable. Rey was the first to speak up.

“After we got back in the walls, we did like you said and ran a good distance away back toward camp just in case; and we waited and waited,” began Rey. “Dad came back and… and…” Rey sniffed and wiped his eyes with the base of his palm.

“And I wasn’t with him,” finished Soren. They nodded.

“We begged dad to go back and even offered to help, but he said the human got you and that you were captured,” finished Dorian.

Both boys spoke slowly, voices crestfallen as if they were admitting guilt to some kind of crime. Soren clasped their hands harder and pulled himself closer just as they pulled themselves closer to him.

“He said he would keep an eye out and that we would rescue you when the human wasn’t looking; but, before that, we had to move camp. Dad thought the human would make you tell where we were. So, we moved,” said Dorian.

“Yeah,” added Rey. “He had us climb an entire floor up so we could stay in the ceiling.”

“He had you what?” Soren didn’t mean to interrupt. It was completely involuntary, but he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. [An entire floor? They only just learned how to climb a line properly. It’s a miracle they didn’t slip and fall.] He watched his brothers nod again.

“Dad said it was safer there. There was a place with sturdy wood, and it was warm. We moved everything and made camp,” finished Rey. Soren exhaled slowly as Dorian continued the account.

“We did see you from the ceiling. Dad found where you were after the first week or so and took us to see. That’s… when he told us that you might be different…. We saw her doing something to you, but dad made us leave,” said Dorian. Soren felt himself roll his eyes, disguised as a long blink. [At least Brady has that much going for him. He didn’t make them witness everything that happened to me.]

“After that…” Dorian’s voice snapped Soren back to the present. “He went out and tried borrowing what he could, but there wasn’t a lot since we couldn’t go where you were for safety. We tried rationing the food, but… dad… he was having a hard time bringing back rations.”

“After a couple weeks, he said there was a new family he was watching and he was going to try and get food from them. He left, told us to be safe, and to not go to the apartment where you were,” said Dorian.

“How long ago was that?” asked Soren. The brothers exchanged unsure glances. They could tell time, but the family watch was at their last home and was too heavy to bring with them. Soren was impressed that his brothers remembered the account and were able to convey it without losing their nerve – at least for now. He knew there was more to the story.

“Maybe… four days? Five? I don’t remember,” said Rey.

“I don’t remember either,” muttered Dorian.

“Okay. Then what happened?” prompted Soren. They shifted uncomfortably. [That’s what I was waiting for. This next bit is going to be rough] thought Soren as he braced himself for what was to come.

“Well… dad… he said he would; but – he didn’t come back…” muttered Rey. Tears were gathering in his and Dorian’s eyes. [That’s what I thought. Sounds like something happened with the new humans who moved in.]

“We didn’t know where to go and we were so hungry. The lines were still up – the ones you put up. So, we climbed down to see what happened. We thought we could get to the place you took us with all of the chips. I had my hook and we both had line; but, we got turned around and ended up in the old lady’s apartment,” said Dorian.

Soren watched as both of their breathing became shallower. Their eyes darted around as if they could see the events happening again and again in front of them.

“That’s when Rey got stuck?” asked Soren.

“It was so scary Soren,” whimpered Rey. “I… I was trying to be careful and quiet and I just tripped under the cabinet.”

“I tried to get him out,” added Dorian, lower lip quivering. “But the more we struggled the harder it got. I-I-I tried to find something to help pry him off, but that’s when…” His hand involuntarily grabbed at the bandages and wounds on his arms.

“I didn’t see the cat and it got me. I… t-th-thou-ght that it was gonna e-ea-t me, but it l-let me go when the human came in the room. I ran as fast as I could back to R-r-ey to hide, but the cat followed me and so d-did the human,” sniffed Dorian. “That’s when she grabbed the sticky trap with Rey and took him away.”

“It was so scary Soren!” Rey choked partially on a sob as he whipped his eyes with the back of his free hand.

“Shhh… it’s okay,” soothed Soren as he leaned forward and rubbed his brother’s shoulder. He finally had a better idea of what had actually happened and, whether it was fortunate or unfortunate, it was just like he suspected.

“So, after that,” said Soren. “You came to find me?” Dorian nodded silently. “I’m glad you did.” Dorian glanced up at him almost disbelievingly, like he was disappointed in himself.

“Even though I was seen and now we’re here with a human?” he asked quietly. Soren nodded.

“Especially now. If you didn’t come and be as brave as you were facing Ashlynn not knowing what would happen, Rey wouldn’t be here. Dorian, you helped save your brother. That’s nothing to be upset or beat yourself up about,” said Soren before scooting closer and pulling his brothers into a tight hug. They leaned into him, wrapping their arms as tight as they could around his shoulders.

There were two conflicting sensations happening simultaneously. The first was the warmth of the embrace with his brothers. He was finally able to help them after being taken out of commission. The second was a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. Brady’s whereabouts were still unknown and the pain his brothers went through could only heal with time.

What made the matter worse was the moment was interrupted when both brothers inhaled sharply and shrank in Soren’s grasp. Soren turned to see Ashlynn poking her head through the door, a tray in her hand. He exhaled to relax himself.

“It’s okay! Just give us a minute,” called Soren. Ashlynn, barely hearing his voice, nodded and ducked back out of the room. “Ashlynn made breakfast. So, she’s going to come into the room and bring in a tray of things. Knowing her, she’ll probably have bandages too.”

Dorian and Rey both whimpered and pulled themselves slightly under the blankets. Their lack of trust was making Soren uneasy. He remembered the fear they were going through, but hardly felt it anymore. Was Brady right? Had he really changed so much? The thought of a human seeing him used to terrify him, but now it felt simpler; like he could be at ease with someone he could trust.

He couldn’t think about that now. Instead, he shook those thoughts away and prepared his brothers.

“Okay, here’s how this is going to go. I’m going to call her back in. She’ll drop off breakfast and whatever is on that tray, I’ll thank her, and then she’ll leave for a while. Okay?” Dorian and Rey nodded, but also looked like they’d rather duck under the covers to hide. “It’ll just be a minute.”

Soren stood and hobbled to the edge of the nightstand. “Ashlynn! We’re good. You can come in now!” His voice carried across the vast room to the door. Once again, Ashlynn came in with the tray.

“You okay?” she asked softly upon seeing the way Soren kept glancing back at his brothers. He nodded and watched her set the tray onto her bed. Much to her relief, Ashlynn let Soren point and guide where she placed the different elements which included several bottle caps, a roll of foil, and a two bowls.

The first bowl was filled with finely chopped scrambled eggs with bits of different elements in them which Soren guessed were different meats and vegetables. The second bowl was steaming slightly with warm water. Ashlynn also placed some bandages and cream nearby.

“Ashlynn,” called Soren as she turned to retrieve the tray. “Thank you.” There was a reassurance in her smile, but also a slight hurt that she was back at square one in gaining trust. “Are… I mean… what are your plans for the day?” Ashlynn gave a partial shrug and sighed.

“Not sure just yet. It’s my cleaning day, so I’ll do that for sure. You?” she returned the question. Soren felt a small smile tug onto his lips.

“I’m going to make sure they’re okay and,” he paused as a yawn snuck up on him. “I think I may lay down. We could all use more rest.”

“Not a bad idea,” replied Ashlynn. “I’ll go ahead and leave you to it. I’ll be back later.” With that, she slipped out of the room.

The warm food was much appreciated, especially since missing their meal the previous night. They ate in silence, enjoying the first meal they had together in what felt like forever. After they finished, Soren took the time to change Dorian and Rey’s bandages before washing their dishes in the rest of the warm water.

At this point, Soren was exhausted. His eyes were drooping. Each thought he tried to form faded into the abyss of his mind. There was only one cure – sleep. He needed sleep, but he couldn’t bear the thought of his brothers worrying while he slept. He couldn’t go without sleep though.

He stayed conscious as long as he could as he staggered back to their makeshift bed and flopped onto the soft, cushiony fabric. Dorian and Rey rushed to his side and shook him.

“Soren? Soren! Are you okay?” they asked in unison. Soren nodded.

“Don’t worry bobbins. Just tired,” yawned Soren.

“B…but… what if she…” started Dorian. Soren reached up with both hands and ruffled the hair on their heads.

“Don’t worry bobbins,” he smiled as he dragged himself back into the same place he was the night before. The moment he was situated, Dorian and Rey tucked themselves into his sides, heads resting on his shoulders. Soren’s arms draped over their arms as he pulled them in tight. “We’ll be alright. If she come back in, you can ask her to leave nicely or just wake me up. Okay?” He felt them both nod and mutter an “okay.”

It took moments for Soren to be pulled into a deep sleep. Dorian and Rey both glanced at one another from across his chest. Was this their life now? Were they really going to be set free? Or had Soren pulled them into a trap set by a human?

For now, all that mattered was that they were together; and, soon, they too drifted off to sleep.

Continue 

Previous

Beginning

~Feel free to reblog/repost, comment, like, suggest ~

~Prompts Welcome~

[voidcat]

— take me home

Characters: Dazai Osamu/gn!reader (+agency members)

Genre & wc: fluff — 1.9k

a/n: happy Valentine’s Day!!! Normally I was gonna make this one big thing but my writing style for all this so far and “the second part” don’t carry the same vibe. (Also it was getting v long) Anyways, enjoy. I still suck at naming fics. — part 2 !!

“You could feel the bomb going off and suddenly-“ Doctor Yosano stops looking at the clock, “Oh it’s been that long already? I shouldn’t keep you waiting for any longer” she motions with her hand to you with a smile.

“It’s alright, I enjoy hearing your stories.” You smile back. “If it’s alright with you and no new cases show up, would you like the finish the story tomorrow at my place? Maybe over a cup of tea or a glass of wine?”

The glint in her eyes tell you the answer long before. “Only if the infamous pastries Ranpo cannot get enough of are there!” Yosano says with enthusiasm and all you can do is nod and share the excitement.

As she proceeds to get her coat and bag, you decide to wait until you hear someone else speak up.

“I thought you didn’t like to have people over?” Atsushi asks standing behind you with a stack of papers and files.

Eyes closed, you hum “True, true… But I make an exception for some, dear. Where did you think we baked all those for Kyouka?”

Stopping for a second to recall that day Atsushi scratches his head. The moment of realization comes to him fast, apparent from the sudden change of expression and the wide smile on his face “Oh! You’re-“

“I thought you didn’t allow anyone in the kitchen!” Ranpo exclaims rather loudly, slamming the newspaper he was reading moments ago onto his table.

Tilting back and forth from where you’re standing and occasionally looking for Yosano to come back, you turn to where his voice came from. “That rule only applies to you, I’m afraid. No matter what an amazing detective you are, cooking and baking simply aren’t your forte.” With one hand in the air as if offering the plainest of truths, you say.

“However you’re still my most trusted taster, so please don’t make that face?” You finish with an apologetic smile and hearing a low rumble coming from him, you let out a breath thinking you’re off the hook.

You thought wrong.

As Yosano’s heels clank against the surface, you can feel a persistent gaze on your back, already sensing what’s to come next. Before you can make an attempt to the door however, Dazai announces your name, in a whine no less, coming a little too closer than you expected right behind your ear.

Slowly turning back to see his smug face, right in your personal space just as you guessed, you refrain from rolling your eyes. “What was it Dazai? Is something the matter?”

Coming all the way from wherever he was previously , he couldn’t be here now for anything other than to bother you. You just hoped Yosano would show up and drag you away before your patience was tested again.

Raising his arm and resting the back of his hand against his forehead, eyes closed and mouth open, as if a he were a character straight out of a tragedia, Dazai opts for the dramatic route. “Yes! I’ve just been informed of horrifying news!”

“Which is?..” you leave the statement unfinished, already knowing what’s to come.

“That you never invited me over to your house! And we’ve been friends for the longest time! What our live have come to, have we driven so far away from ea-“

“Enough with the antics Dazai, we’re busy, can’t you see?” Your savior, Yosano cuts in putting a hand over your shoulder. Turning to look at her, you mouth a ‘thank you.’, and you think she has never looked as beautiful as she does in this moment now, with the golden sun behind her setting, the lights illuminating her face, making her look like those heroes painted to be immortalized.

As you step out, you hear Yosano stop and say: “And for the record, I’ve known them the longest.”

The day spent with Yosano goes better than you could accept. By the end your face hurts from laughing, your stomach full from all the food and drinks you’ve consumed, times flies away like a plane and by the time Yosano makes way to the door, it’s dark and you’re both dragging your feet.

Despite the enjoyable day off, Dazai’s recent behavior starts to make you question if it was worth inviting her over so publicly.

At any chance he gets, he tries to get you to give away something about your location, who has been over before and how many times, what type of hosts you prefer and ‘oh maybe we never got the chance because of our schedules, you should invite me over some time’, ‘don’t be so shy, we’re friends after all! Oh is it your place you’re ashamed of? Worry not, I won’t judge!’, ‘hey are you free on a Thursday night?’s met with ‘No, I don’t want you over.’, ‘Yes, I have a very good reasoning.’ And almost a slip up of a ‘I’m free- Oh wait, I have a date with Sergio, sorry no can do!’.

For each cheeky smile he offers, you give back a grunt or a snarl, one time almost yelling right in front of the director and another time you stomp out of the office in fury while Atsushi watches in horror.

Fifth time of your hiding in the café and you find yourself wishing for a crisis to surface, the carefree Dazai to be replaced by the serious and logical man that manages to impress you no matter how hard the case, counter measure after counter measure, even if he takes reckless risks once in a while.

Inhaling the sweet smell of your tea before taking a sip, your wish seems to have come true partially, from the set of steps approaching you in a determined yet unrushed pace.

Taking a long sip, savoring the taste and the warmth of it, you slowly place the cup down and open your eyes to see Dazai standing in his neutral and calm state.

The two of you stay like that for a while, like a photograph, the café empty and the mixed smells of coffee and tea lingering in the air, not quite looking at one another but not dozed off either.

When he opens his mouth, it doesn’t feel like the moment has been broken, not even a clearing of throat or a quite mumbling under his breath beforehand, yet his voice flows along the smells despite the absurdity of the topic of conversation.

But you beat him to it. “If you’re going to be standing for so long, you might as well sit down.”

He settles down as you reach for your cup again.

“So, how are things with Sergio?” He says the name with a hint of hostility.

It takes everything in you not to spit out your tea laughing. “Sergio is a street cat I take care of.”

Composure and crossed arms off, Dazai’s eyes widen. “But- you said that-“ “A date with Sergio, yes, for his yearly check up at the vet.” You finish for him.

“That was just an excuse to get you to stop bothering me.” You add.

“Fair enough, I deserved that.” He chuckles “but you did mention you had a very good reasoning for not inviting me over. I know I pestered you enough about that…” he trails off, reaching for your hand with his. “And yet, would you be so kind to tell me why?” he asks, eyes locked into yours.

“My cat doesn’t like you.”

And this, you think, is the exact moment the atmosphere is ruined, the photograph ripped apart in the middle.

Dazai just stares at you, still holding your hand.

Blinking few times, rather unimpressed, you notice a waitress by the counter, probably there to rearrange something.

“Alright, I’ll be off now if that’s all!” You say a bit too cheerfully, pull your hand before Dazai can do anything, pay and leave as soon as you can.

Dazai just blinks, hands still in the air, stays frozen like that until Kunikida drags him back to work.

Bad decision after bad decision seems to follow you wherever you go because after that interaction at the café, it gets worse.

You thought Dazai was like a fruit fly before? It gets more irritating than an army of them. And on top of that, Kunikida scolds you to undo whatever you’ve done on Dazai, his already poor work ethics now on the floor, getting on Kunikida’s nerves and yours.

Hearing your name spreads terror in you now, the second your ears catch the familiar tone of Dazai’s voice, you fleet for your life.

Coming clean and explaining your statement from earlier would be the logical way to end this but fate disagrees as it laughs you in the face.

“Why wouldn’t your cat like me? I didn’t even step foot into your place before!”

“Hey Dazai, remember the day you wouldn’t get off my back? Trying to embrace at any chance and I gave up in the middle of the day at one point?” Resting his hand under his chin to think, as if his face doesn’t make it obvious he remembers the day crystal clear, he lets out a “hmm…”

With a snap of fingers and a “Ah! I remember now! You were so comfortable, I almost fell asleep.” He grins.

With a shake of your hand, trying to dismiss the memory of how he basically trapped you to the couch, you cough and continue. “That evening, when I got home, my clothes must have reeked of your smell.” He nods, good, so far he seems to follow. “My cat just sniffed the air once and stayed in the living room until I washed those clothes and took a bath.”

Hands resting on his hips, he keeps nodding and humming in understanding. “I see…”

You let out a breath, thank god it’s over.

“Nope! Still makes no sense.” Hs exclaims suddenly, turns away and leaves. You just stare at his back, now it’s your turn to blink in ‘unbelievable, is this real?’

The loud chatter and pestering doesn’t stop however and with each word, it gets more ridiculous.

“Is your cat perhaps jealous of me? That you secretly love me and they don’t want competition?”

“The cat is just another excuse, isn’t it! Admit it, you have a secret! It must be something you’re afraid I won’t like.”

“Is it Chuuya? Did you take pity and let him rent a room?”

“I don’t even know a Chuuya…”

“Maybe a weird collection…” he gasps and says your name. “Are you a hoarder? Is that why you won’t let me in? I told you already, I would never judge your lifestyle!”

“Dazai, please stop-“

“No, no, I got it this time. It’s a shrine of me! Isn’t it? Your face tells it all, it is a shrine! Ah, I must say I’m flattered, if not a little scared now.”

If anger could set a fire, you think Kunikida would be arrested of arson right now. You just rest your head in your palm, trying to ignore Dazai’s ongoing nonsense.

“Is there really a-“ Kenji begins a question as Ranpo ends it with a firm “Nope!”

Getting up from your place at last, you grab Dazai by his coat and drag him out.

“There is No shrine, no other human, no hoarding or weird collections. It’s just me and my cat who scrunches his nose when I bring home a file that sat in your desk all day!”

Before giving him a chance to reply, you walk away.

The next day, and many other days to follow, goes uneventful, Dazai’s never ending bickering about your house seems to have reached a stop. Everyone, especially Kunikida, enjoys the newly achieved peace of going back to normal. You hope this marks the end of this whole nonsense, and that the Dazai everyone knows with a little mix of annoying and impressively serious has returned back to his sense of regular.

Tags: @atsumusdomain @celosiiaa @ywanfen

[repentantsky]

The difference Between JRPG’s and WRPG’s, and why we should stop comparing them

If you’re like me, you love RPG’s of many different genre’s. Whether they cover fantastical realms like Skyrim and Final Fantasy, or more technologically advanced ones like Borderlands or Star Ocean. 

Like all genre’s most RPG’s of different genre’s also suffer from different problems because of tropes and reused settings that people can grow tired of, but talking about RPG’s from two different parts of the world, is a whole other problem. Japan for example, is mostly marketing itself to Western players, while Western RPG’s, are mostly marketing themselves to Western players...uh wait, why does that make them different? 

It’s all because of style choices. See, Japan like most countries, has a lot of traditions that make a lot of it’s products fairly same-y. As I said that happens with everyone, but Japan has to try harder with smaller series to get western appeal, which is required to have a successful selling game, unless it’s a mobile title, since those all do really well in Japan, because people can just game on their way to and from work. I digress, but Japan is so rooted in tradition, that you can watch an episode of Gigantor, the anime that is considered by many to be the first anime ever created, and Demon Slayer, and notice a lot of similarities in the way the characters are speaking, because Japan has always made their shows where actors talk like they would in real life, which isn’t always true in other acting platforms around the world, which of course means, this translates to video games. 

Specifically what it means, is that Japan has to hop a cultural barrier that Western games don’t, and they have to rely on a lot more tropes, because there are only so many ways to translate the same basic plot of a JRPG, for Western audiences, before things become too cliché. A lot of RPG’s are successful in doing this, like the aforementioned Final Fantasy, and other JRPG’s are coming through with successful games to, like Fire Emblem. Persona and Shin Megami Tensei, Atelier, and several others. All of the games coming through lately, lead people to believe that JRPG’s are a thriving genre in the west, but that’s not really true. 

If you were to ask any random person what the most successful JRPG of all time was, a lot of people would probably think of a Final Fantasy game, but not even Final Fantasy 7, has come close. In fact the only JRPG that even made it to the top 10 best selling games ever, is Pokemon Red/Blue/Green/Yellow as a collective, with four different versions. The next best selling one is Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal, and in fact, only 11 of the top 49 best selling games of all time, are RPG’s, and all of the JRPG’s are Pokemon titles. Final Fantasy 7 has still been wildly successful, as the original has sold over 11.8 million units, and the remake over 5 million, but the fact of the matter is, that even though RPG’s as a whole are the biggest genre of the top 49, the few that made it are exceptions to the rules. In fact, of the top 10 best selling games of all time, 6 of them are by Nintendo. The other 5 excluding Pokemon, are Wii Sports, Super Mario Bros. Mario Kart 8/Deluxe, Wii Fit/Plus and the original Gameboy version of Tetris, which itself is on there twice because EA’s version is number 3. so you’re actually better off in Japan, not making a JRPG. 

There’s a lot more that can be gleamed from looking at the list, so you can check it out here if you want: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_video_games 

The point is that JRPG’s, aren’t always as successful as people think they are. I mean sure, you don’t have to be on the top best selling games list to be successful, but Persona 4 Golden on PC is considered a massive success for selling only just over a million units since it’s release, and the Tales of Series, which is one of the longest running in gaming, as recently as April of this year, had it’s sales numbers made public, and Tales of Symphonia, the undeniable Final Fantasy 7 of the series, sold a total of 940,000 units in the United States, and the game, easily the most successful title from Tales of, only managed 2.4 million in total. None of this is to say, that JRPG’s are struggling, because most of the ones I brought up are shining examples that they aren’t, but going back to that top 10 list, Minecraft and Grand Theft Auto V,  just the top two of that list, have sold 345,000,000 total units. That not only beats the entire mainline series of Pokemon, it’s only about 2.5 million short extra, of beating the original 151′s total sales, with how many spare units the two games over Pokemon’s  300,000,000 million total sales mainline games, which means likely, the two of them will beat the series out at some point in the future. 

Western RPG’s, don’t often suffer from as many problems, because they don’t have a border to hop, and it shows with Elder Scrolls, which has sold 58 million total copies with only five mainline games, and 30 million of those came from Skyrim alone. It took Pokemon, the undisputed champion of JRPG sales, 20 mainline games to reach 300 million, which means arguably, by the time Elder Scrolls reaches it’s 10th installment, it will have caught up to Pokemon’s first 20 games total sales. Borderlands, which is arguably the Tales of to Western RPG’s in most people’s eyes, has actually outsold Elder Scrolls with only 4 mainline entries, one of which is considered bad by many, with a total of 60 million total units sold. The better comparison, surprising for many I’m sure, for a Tales of comparison, is actually Fallout, which has sold 13.51 million units, to Tales of 23.5 million units. 

Enough about numbers for a few minutes, 3 paragraphs about it is a bit much, but the fact of the matter is, Japan struggles more overall to make successful RPG’s in the West, than the West does in the West, and it’s all due to how much of a challenge it is to hop that border. 

Outside of sales numbers, the other major difference between JRPG’s vs Western RPG’s is how they are classified. Generally, when someone thinks of a JRPG, they think of a fantasy world, with leveling, where rare items can be won off bosses, but your main way of improving stats is to level up, and have enough money to buy the best equipment at each new town you enter with a shop. However, a lot of games have been getting that label slapped on them by their marketing teams or fans, and some of it is just wrong. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is one such game, despite the drops from enemies being the only correlation between BoTW and JRPG’s. The correlation was made by fans, which might seem like an innocent mistakes, and in fact could be nothing but that, but then there’s Monster Hunter, which actually does have two JRPG’s attached to it, in the Stories 1 and 2 games, but who took the reigns of JRPG to market, calling Monster Hunter World, a JRPG. despite it having few differences from other Monster Hunter action games, outside of having a story, and having nothing more to do with JRPG’s than Zelda. A lot of fans of Japanese games will classify simply playing as a fake character an RPG, which normally would be fine, but in games, that’s not how genres are defined. If that were the case, all of Yakuza’s games would be JRPG’s, instead of just Like a Dragon, and in fact most games would be RPG’s, and they obviously aren’t. Bubsy 3D RPG anyone? No? Ya sure? Yeah I didn’t think so.   

The west has the exact opposite problem of under classifying it’s games as RPGs. While sure, you wouldn’t call Halo an RPG, unless you know, Master Chief was shooting an RPG, you absolutely should call Ratchet and Clank one. Think about it, your main playable characters all have HP, most of them have weapons that can level up, and the action setting of these games, basically should make Ratchet, a response to Level 5′s Dark Cloud series, which did all the same things for combat. However, it’s just seen as series of action games, despite it also being a lot like Borderlands. 

The point is, there are a lot of things that differ JRPG’s and WRPG’s from sales, to marketing, to style and so many other factors, I would run out of characters available to me, before I get through them all. There’s nothing wrong with these genre’s being different, but people classifying them as similar, could harm either since they don’t often jell that well together. So please, think before you compare, and for those rare RPG’s, where you can’t tell the difference, makes sure you find out where they were developed, because a lot of games you might think are JRPG’s, could in fact be Korean or Chinese. 

[boltcore07]

The Sims 2 Tutorial: How to create your own subhood (shopping district,downtown,uni,etc.)

Hello guys! I'm Luca and welcome! Today I'm gonna show you how to create your own subhood! Before we begin

This tutorial is based on this tread from MTS: https://modthesims.info/t/502306This is optional but I highly recommend it,you should create the subhood in an artificial game environment using any game starter tool: https://modthesims.info/d/250555/anygamestarter-v-2-1-3-for-cd-dvd-games-upd-29-dec-2017.html(For people who use the cd/DVD version) https://modthesims.info/d/604873/tester-needed-anygamestarter-v-2-2-0-uc-ultimate-collection-upd-25-dec-2017.html(For people who use the ultimate collection, this also works with the origin ultimate collection repack from g4tw) This tutorial doesn't require simPE but it can be used optionally for just checking to see if everything is in order. You will also need bulk rename:https://www.bulkrenameutility.co.uk/Please note that this technique will not work for neighborhoods with attached subhoods, it will only work for unattached neighborhoods and subhood templates like the ones shipped with the game. - If you have FreeTime installed, you will have to manually disable the FreeTime stealth neighborhood to create an empty environment. The AnyGameStarter will not do this for you correctly. See this post for detailed instructions. - If you try to add multiple Downtowns to a neighborhood, only sims from the first Downtown added will actually appear in your neighborhood. The game will remove the sims from all additional Downtown subhoods before those subhoods are added to your neighborhood. If you want to add multiple occupied Downtowns to the same neighborhood, you may not be able to use more than one Downtown template. - If you just want a generic subhood, then you will probably want a Suburb. As examples, all of the stealth neighborhoods from Pets, Seasons, Bon Voyage, FreeTime, and Apartment Life are Suburbs; most Mega-Hoods are also made with Suburbs. - If your neighborhood has occupied apartments and you want to change it to a subhood, you will have to move the sims out first. Do not have occupied apartments in a subhood template; occupied apartments will be corrupted when the subhood is added to a primary neighborhood. Unoccupied apartment buildings should have no problem. - Sims in a subhood template will receive a new ID when a subhood is attached to a neighborhood. This can cause problems if the game doesn't properly update the ID everywhere it is used. Most of the time, the game updates the ID correctly. However, you should be aware that this problem can occur and be careful with sim relationships in subhoods. A problem has been noticed with hired maids needing to be rehired. There may be other types of relationships that are also handled incorrectly. Be sure to test your neighborhood or subhood before sharing it. (this info was pasted from the original post)

This method is a work in progress still

Step 1:Creating the anygame environment So after you have installed any game starter, open it! Then open the new shortcut that the setup file has created, Agree to the terms&liciense then select the packs that you would like! Mansion and garden will always be included for the ultimate collection version of the program (i think). Click next and select create an empty game (no maxis content included) then click next and install! Step 2: Turning On Debug Mode After the anygame has been created,run it and you should have no neighborhoods,if you do then you did something wrong,try again. Close the game and then go into the anygame documents >EA Games> The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection (for UC users)>Config and create a new text document called userStartup.cheat,then open it and type boolprop testingcheatsenabled true

Step 3: Creating the neirghborhood (later convert it) In order to create a subhood,we need to create a normal hood then convert it into a subhood,so enter the game then click the new hood button then click yes,select your preferred terrain and select ok then wait for it to load then leave the game. Step 4: Renaming your neighborhood

Install Bulk rename uttility then run it. I know it might look hard but it’s actually very easy,navigate to the hood you just created,this is the UC default anygame location : Documents\AnyGameStarter\AnyGame1\EA Games\The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection\Neighborhoods\N001 Select the match case option in the replace(3) section and also select subfolders in the filters section You need to rename the hood because it might conflict if you don t rename it

Make sure your characters folder and storytelling folder are both empty!!! If it's not then you did something wrong. It is recommended to stick to the maxis naming conventions Here is the standard naming convention: University: U### Downtown: D### Suburbs (Open for Business): B### Vacation (Far East): A### Vacation (Mountain Lake): M### Vacation (Island): T### I named my hood B002 because I wanted to do a shopping district aka subhood, name your hood something different than B001 or D001 or U001,U002,U003 because otherwise, it will replace the maxis original subhoods After renaming the hood folder, in the white area in which you see your hood folder then select ctrl+a and then go to the replace section and in the replace section type the original hood name with the “_” and in the “with” section type your desired new hood name and then press rename!,be sure to use both suffixes or prefixes!! Step 5: Launch the environment and convert the hood If you do not see your neighborhood on the main menu you’ve done something wrong. If you see it then you are good to go :D, Make sure it looks as it should! In the neighborhood view of the neighborhood that you want to change, open the cheat box (CTRL+SHIFT+C) and type the cheat: changeNeighborhoodType [primary/university/downtown/suburb/asia/mountains/tropics] For example if I want to change my hood into a shopping district I would type changeNeighborhoodType suburb If the game started the loading screen then you did everything right! If the game gave you an object error or cheat error then you did something wrong such as debug mode not being enabled (shown in the steps above) After the game finished loading it should look something like this in my example :

building

You can also check simPE if you’re not sure! Step 6:Install the subhood/downtown/university or etc University (UC) C:\ProgramFiles\Origin Games\The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection\University Life\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate Downtown (UC) C:\ProgramFiles\Origin Games\The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection\Double Deluxe\EP2\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate Shopping District (UC) C:\ProgramFiles\Origin Games\The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection\Best of Bussines\EP3\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate Vacation Destination(UC) C:\ProgramFiles\Origin Games\The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection\Bon Voyage\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate University(disk) C:\Program Files\EA GAMES\The Sims 2 University\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate Downtown(disk) C:\Program Files\EA GAMES\The Sims 2 Nightlife\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate Suburb(disk) C:\Program Files\EA GAMES\The Sims 2 Open For Business\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate Vacation Destination(disk) C:\Program Files\EA GAMES\The Sims 2 Bon Voyage\TSData\Res\NeighborhoodTemplate You should download this mod which fixes the add a new subhood selection menu! https://modthesims.info/download.php?t=420924 (it was created by the person who created the original post that inspired me to make this one) You can now start building the sub-hood freely and I hope I helped you! Have fun!

[you-a-southpaw-doll]

“...Step on a Fuckin’ LEGO!” ~ A Negan One-Shot

Summary: The reader is a soft-hearted, soft-spoken girl. Negan is...well...he’s Negan… That says it all right there. One day he pushes her too far, pissing her off. She yells the only threat she can think of at the Savior Leader.  

Warning(s): Language. Negan tries to curb his language...kinda. Angst. Threats. Violence - by LEGOs. Negan being an ass. Sweet Negan. Caring Negan. Fluff. Happy ending. *No LEGO pieces were harmed in the making of this story (those damn things are damn near indestructible)...only Negan’s foot and maybe even his ego.*

Author’s Note(s): There is no worse, more insulting threat than telling someone to go step on a LEGO...especially barefoot. If you’ve ever had the misfortune to step on a LEGO, then you understand the pain that comes with it and the insult, which is most definitely a threat, is worse than telling someone to go fuck themselves. For the sake of this story, like always:

Y/N (Y/F/N) = Your Name (Your First Name)

Y/L/N = Your Last Name

Y/H/C = Your Hair Color

Y/E/C = Your Eye Color

Word Count: 3827 words!

Relationship(s): Negan x Reader. Melissa (OFC)/Ike (OMC) [Mother/Toddler Son]

Characters: Negan. Reader. Melissa (OFC). Ike (OMC). Saviors. Workers. Negan’s wives (Sherry, Amber, Tanya, and Frankie) but they aren’t really his wives in this story. Dwight. Mark. 

Taglist: @negans-network @prettyboynegan @mychemicalimagines @spnnnxangelsx @rockinkel21 @misskittycat02 @band--psycho@ofxallxwexlost @iron-halt @thamberlinawrites @ravenwings73 @lettherebepink @stoneyggirl

_______________________________________________________________________

Story Time:

Reader’s P.O.V. ~ A Few Days Ago

“I HOPE YOU FUCKIN’ STEP ON A GODDAMN FUCKIN’ LEGO BAREFOOT, YOU FUCKIN’ ASSHOLE!!!” 

The silence that immediately settled over the entirety of the Sanctuary at your words was deafening. You could feel all eyes on you and the man in front of you. Your body was trembling with anger and your hands were curling and uncurling into fists down by your sides as you stared, glaring up at the man not even a foot away.

Normally, you were calm, cool, and collected. You never raised your voice. Never hit anyone. Never hurt anything, unless you absolutely needed to and it was a life or death situation. Even then, you still didn’t like to cause harm. Despite this, you still made it as one of Negan’s best soldiers, a position you’d fought long and hard for. 

Even though you were the way you were, everyone had a breaking point. And yours had come that day, just after you, Negan, and ‘bout 15 other men got back from a several day-long run. You snapped. You’d finally have enough. Enough of his shit. You didn’t care that he was the leader of the Sanctuary.

Didn’t care that you would probably be punished for yelling at the man, let alone threatening him. That didn’t matter anymore. Enough had been enough. Normally the tall man didn’t get on your nerves. You didn’t mind his sexual innuendos, his crass language, his cocky swagger. But, he’d taken it too far.

Negan’s eyes were wide and you could tell he was trying to figure out whether or not to be pissed off or just smirk and charm his way outta this. Finally, a smirk tugged on his lips, his beard not even bothering to hide it, as his tongue peeked out from between his lips. He raised an eyebrow as he just stared at you.

His muddy brown eyes swirled with amusement. You huffed and glared even more. You glanced around, briefly, looking at the folks who surrounded the both of you. A mixture of Saviors, some of Negan’s top men, and everyday workers. Everyone’s eyes were wide, breaths held as they all waited to see what would become of you.

The one who yelled and threatened the man in charge. The one who was always an angel, soft-spoken, caring, and gentle with everyone. You swore there were a few people, mostly those who’d had kids, or even been around young kids, at one point or another, before the world ended or now,  who gasped at the words you hurled at Negan.

They knew what kinda pain you just threatened the boss man with. But...apparently not everyone did. Even though you had only threatened Negan by telling him you hoped he stepped on a LEGO...with no shoes on...it was the most painful thing you could come up with. You really didn’t want anyone harmed. 

In any way what-so-ever. It didn’t matter if it was being stabbed, shot, bit by one of the dead, tortured, or anything else. Let alone a damn LEGO. You didn’t want to wish harm on anyone. The world was already shitty ‘nough as is. As your eyes met Negan’s once more, you could tell he was one of the ones who didn’t realize what you’d just wished upon him. 

His deep laugh filled the silence as he tossed his head back, his body shaking with laughter. Several other Saviors, who didn’t realize the pain either, joined him in laughter. Negan’s tongue darted out and swiped along his bottom lip as his laughter died down and he looked back at you. That damn smirk still plastered on his stupid face...regardless of how handsome said face was.

“Awwww, look at that, Boss Man. Little girl can’t even come up with a decent threat!” One of the newest Saviors sneered before everyone started laughing again.

You watched as Negan’s eyes, briefly, flashed with anger and he waved a hand at the Savior, dismissing his comment, and everyone’s laughter,  as his eyes stayed locked on yours. 

“She’s too kind.” He responded, not once looking away. “I’m just proud she cussed with it.”

You huffed and stormed past him, slamming your shoulder into his arm as you did. He just chuckled and called after you.

“This ain’t fuckin’ over, sweetheart!” 

It took everything in you not to pull one of his signature moves and flip him off as you left him. You just ignored him as you stormed to your room, slamming the door shut once you reached it. You stripped down outta what you were wearing and slipped on your favorite shirt, an old Rock n’ Roll tee from the early 2000s, that was three sizes too big and swallowed you whole, going down to your knees. 

It was your husband’s and that was one reason why you loved it, on top of the fact that it was from your favorite band too. 

                                                             ***

Negan’s P.O.V. ~ Now

It’s been three days since you threatened me. Three days in which you haven’t even looked at me, talked to me, or even acknowledged my existence. I must’ve really pissed you off, and I didn’t mean to. I had just been joking ‘round with you, trying to make you smile. I sigh as I walk down to the little classroom on the bottom floor of the Sanctuary. 

I needed a moment to relax and seeing the youngins that lived in the Sanctuary always helped with that. Slipping off my boots once I enter the room, as per the rules of the teacher, a young woman named Melissa, I tuck them by the wall and door. I drape my leather jacket over my boots, covering Lucille with it as I do. 

No point in scaring the kids. 

Looking ‘round the room, I notice that there are only two people in the classroom. Melissa and her little boy, Issac, or as he likes to be called, Ike. He’s only two years old, but he’s strong-willed and absolutely adorable. I guess I missed all the other kids since it is later in the afternoon. Mel must’ve already dismissed them right after dinner. 

I shrug to myself and then smile when I hear Ike squeal.

“Neeeeeeeeeeeeeegs!” 

I laugh at the little boy’s excitement. “Hi, bud. You having fun? Playing with your mommy and…” I look at what they’re playing with. “LEGOs?”

Ike giggles and nods. “Ea!!” 

He pats the small, racetrack kid’s carpet he’s sitting on. Chuckling, I take the hint and walk over to him, my sock covered feet almost slipping on the smooth concrete floor. I make it over to him and Mel in one piece without falling on my ass. Ike giggles as I go to cross my ankles, so I can take a seat next to him.

However, I don’t look as I move my feet and within a few seconds, my entire foot erupts in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt. And that’s saying something considering I’ve been hit in the crotch a few too many times in my life. Hopping ‘round on one foot, I reach down, grabbing my injured one. 

“Son of a fu-” My eyes meet Mel’s and the cuss word suddenly cuts off in my throat. “Fudge maker!” 

I end up falling on my ass, landing on a few more pieces of the building toys. I bite my lip to keep from cussing up a storm like I want to. The pain fuckin’ hurts. My foot and my ass now hurt. Ike squeals with giggles as he shakes his head, clearly enjoying the show I’m putting on. Mel is trying not to giggle and I can tell, despite her covering her mouth with her hand.

I try to shift to the side a little to at least get the LEGO bricks outta my ass, knowing I’ll surely have little brick-shaped, indented bruises on my asscheeks. After a few moments of wiggling around, I finally get off the LEGOs and pant.

“That hurt!” 

Ike and Mel both giggle and shake their heads. Ike climbs up in my lap, and pats my head, kissing my cheek. I’ve seen Mel do that a few times whenever Ike gets hurt, and I realize that it’s his way of ‘healing my boo-boos’. A smile lifts my lips and I shake my head, rubbing my foot with one hand as my other hand goes to Ike’s back to make sure he doesn’t fall off my lap.

“Thanks, little man.” I murmur.

Ike smiles proudly and nods fast. He kisses my cheek again and then turns ‘round in my lap, getting comfy before leaning down to play with the LEGOs some more. He’s obviously no longer interested in the fact that I got hurt. He’s off in his own little world, and that’s ok. I play with his hair, subconsciously, as I try to forget ‘bout the pain in my ass and foot, and look at Mel.

She’s smirking. 

“What?” I ask.

Her smirk grows. “Guess Y/N’s threat came true.”

My eyes widen. “Fu-udge!”

She laughs. “Don’t make her mad, Negan.”

“I didn’t even think it was that serious! I mean...a LEGO? Really? She hoped I stepped on one, barefoot? I figured that wasn’t that painful. I mean, she’s so sweet. And it’s a da-ng kid’s toy!” 

“Thanks for watching your language ‘round him. He’s already said the F word, trying to be like you.” Mel sighs, playfully.

“My bad, Mel.” 

I have the grace to look a little embarrassed. She giggles and shakes her head.

“But, in all seriousness. Y/N is sweet...but even still...she’s got a breaking point...and after what you said to her...that was taking it too far. Even for you.” She explains.

I sigh as I fiddle with my sock. “Yea...I know...I was...I was just trying to cheer her up. You know I have a tendency to speak before I think.”

She nods and we continue talking for the next hour. During that time, Ike stops playing with his toys and curls up in my lap, even more, falling asleep. I just play with his hair and rub his back. I’ve always loved kids...even if I’ve never been able to have any of my own. And, Ike is kinda like my nephew in a way, even if I’m not related to him or Mel.

There’s still that bond there. Mel’s one of the few people I actually consider a friend. Twenty minutes after Ike’s fallen asleep and my ass is completely numb from sitting on the LEGOs and the concrete floor, Mel gently takes him, and I stand.

“You know what you need to do, Neegs. Go talk to her.” She says, giving me a pointed look.

I nod, knowing she’s right. She gives me a hug before leaving the classroom to go lay him down. I make my way over to my stuff by the door. My foot is still killing me, and it’s making me limp just a little. I decide to forgo putting my boots back on, taking a hold of them with my jacket and Lucille tucked under my arm.

I walk down the hallways and up to the door I know you’re behind. Taking a deep breath, I knock on it three times. 

“Go away!” You holler from the other side.

Shaking my head, I gently open the door and step inside. “Sweetheart?”

My eyes search the room until I find you curled up in the bed. Your eyes meet mine and you turn over on your side, facing away from me, grunting in protest at seeing me. I close the door, set my boots, jacket, and Lucille down, and walk over to the side of the bed you’re facing, a limp still slightly present. 

Fuckin’ LEGOs. Carefully kneeling down so I’m in front of you, I tuck a strand of (Y/H/C)  hair behind your ear. 

“Sweetheart...I’m sorry. I was an ass.” I start.

You sigh and roll your eyes, looking anywhere but at me.

“You know...outta all the times I’ve ever been threatened....yours was the only one that’s ever been followed through.” 

This gets your attention and a smile spreads across your face as you try not to giggle and your eyes widen.

“Really?” You whisper.

I nod. “Mmhhmm...Fuckin’ LEGOs hurt when you step on them...and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have several LEGO shaped bruises on my right asscheek for the next couple weeks.”

You crack up laughing at that, your hand flying up to cover your mouth as you shake your head.

“I don’t believe you.” 

I laugh. “You wanna see? I’ll show you my ass right here, right now. It’s true.”

I stand and start to unbuckle my belts and pants, keeping my eyes on yours. You sit up and watch. I shake my head, smirking. I should’ve known that you’d actually want to see. Turning ‘round so my ass is facing you, I drop my pants down to my thighs, not even worrying ‘bout boxers since I went to commando today.

Your laugh cuts through the room, and even though, hearing you laugh is worth it. I feel your hand reach out and smack my ass, right over the spot that has the LEGO impressions. I jump and let out a quiet squeak and turn ‘round, playfully glaring at you, tugging my pants back up and buckling them and my belts. 

“Told you. And, that fuckin’ hurt.” 

You giggle. “Sorry, not sorry. What you said to me a few days ago. That hurt. That smack was payback.”

I bite my lip. That’s fair, I suppose. I sit on the bed, well more like I lounge on it, keeping my ass off the bed, and look at you for a brief moment before dropping my gaze. My fingers play with the comforter, and I watch them before finally looking up at you.

“I’m sorry. I really fuckin’ am. I took it too far and I shouldn’t have. I just wanted to make you smile. I know you’ve been having a rough couple of weeks and you wouldn’t tell me ‘bout it. I shouldn’t have joked like that. And I’m sorry. I’ve been kicking my own ass for the last several days ‘cause of what I said.” I swallow deeply as the last word leaves my lips.

“That just hit too close to home...and I was working on something to surprise you and that...it...you ruined the surprise by saying what you did. I shouldn’t have threatened you or yelled at you in front of your men, and I’m sorry ‘bout that, but I was just so pissed off.” Your eyes meet mine. “You know I’d never actually want you to get hurt.”

I reach over and take your hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over your knuckles. 

“I know, baby. I know. And, you know you’re the only one who can get away with yelling at me like that…’cept for maybe Ike. That kid could murder someone and I wouldn’t punish him.” I chuckle and bring your hand up to softly brush my lips across your knuckles. “I’m sorry, baby. Forgive me?”

You sigh and I smile as I hear the playfulness in it. 

“I suppose I could...but only because I love the father of my child.”

My brow furrows. “What?”

You smirk and your eyes light up. “You heard me, Boss Man.”

“I know I heard you...but what? Father of your child? Baby, I’m the only one you love.”

“Mmmm...not anymore. I love someone else.”

My heart breaks despite my brain vaguely processing the teasing tone of your voice. 

“S-s-someone else?” I whisper, my heart racing in my chest as it feels like an elephant just sat on top of me.

You grin and nod. “Mmhhmm.”

“Who the fuck is he? I’ll…” 

My words die off in my throat. I could never harm anything or anyone that made you happy. I slowly lower your hand and go back to picking at the fuzz on the blanket. 

“I don’t want you to leave me...but if...if he...if he makes you happy...then...I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.” I mumble, no longer confident, cocky, or any of my usual self. “Just...can I at least meet the guy who’s stealing my wife away?”

My voice threatens to crack as I ask that. I’ve loved you for years. Since Lucille passed away. You were always there for me after I lost her. After she died...you were there to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart. And while it took me a while to let you in...I eventually did. I fell. Hard and fast. For you. We ended our old life, our old world together and started our new one, in this new fucked up world, together. 

Almost a year after Lucille passed, and the dead started walking, we ran across a dying priest who could tell we were in love and offered to marry us in exchange for us putting him outta his misery before he could die from the walker bite on his shoulder. We’d decided then and there, almost like a spur of the moment “Let’s go to Vegas and get married” decision, to take him up on his offer. 

He wanted to do one last good thing before he died. With his last few breaths of life, he’d pronounced us man and wife. I’d slid my knife out and gently put the old man outta his misery and thanked him for what he’d done for us. You and I were married and we left to find somewhere safe. That was when we’d stumbled across the Sanctuary.

We turned it into our home, had our “honeymoon”, and started our married life together. I took over as leader and you were my Queen. Was and always will be. Yes, I had a “harem” of four women, but they were all women I’d taken in at your insistence. I never fucked them. 

Never touched them unless it was a comforting hug when they were having a rough day. 

Never looked at them more than the way an older, protective brother looks at his younger sisters, making sure they’re ok. 

You were all I wanted and all I needed. I only did it to make you happy and because you’d explained that they wouldn’t survive on their own out there. I took them in, protected them, and gave them everything they wanted. I even allowed them to have a relationship with whoever they wanted, as long as they were discreet. 

Sherry had Dwight, her husband from before. Amber had Mark, a boyfriend that I couldn’t remember if he was before or not. Tanya and Frankie ended up together which was good for them since they were both unable to be themselves and express who they wanted to be with before the world ended. 

I just didn’t want them to get hurt. I came to care for them like the sisters I’d never had growing up. And you did too. As the years passed and the population of the Sanctuary grew, you stayed by my side, and we ruled together. You were the lightness to my darkness. The Yin to my Yang. Fuck all those cliches; they were true. You -

“Negan Alexander Morgan.”

Your voice cuts off my thoughts and I slowly lift my head and look at you, biting my lip, begging the tears in my eyes not to fall. You’re the only one who gets to see me like this. I swallow deeply and lean into your touch as you place your palm against my cheek. I close my eyes and try to savor the feeling of your hand against my skin.

“I’m not leaving you.” 

My eyes fly open as I look at you, confused. “But…you said you love someone else…?”

You nod and softly stroke your thumb back and forth over my cheekbone, just under my eye.

“I do. And, I know you’ll love them too. As for meeting them...well..that’s gonna have to wait ‘bout another 7 months or so.” You smile.

“Why...why do I have to wait so long? How do you know I’ll love them?” 

You reach your other hand forward, taking mine in yours and drag it over to your tummy. You place my fingers flat against your stomach over my old band t-shirt. I blink several times, still confused as fuck.

“Negan. I know you’re gonna love them…‘cause you love any kid and you always said you’d love your own.”

My eyes widen and I sit up quickly as I finally process what you’re saying. Keeping my hand on your tummy, my eyes meet yours.

“You...we...there’s...a baby?” I stumble over my words.

You giggle and nod. “Mmhhmm. Carson confirmed it last week. I haven’t been feeling well ‘cause mornin’ sickness has been kicking my ass. And I was gonna surprise you when we got home from the run...but you and your damn mouth ruined it.”

I swallow deeply. “I”m so, so fuckin’ sorry, baby.”

“I know. And, you can stop apologizing. You’re forgiven.”

I lean forward and kiss you softly, murmuring against your lips. “You’re too good for me, (Y/N).”

You giggle and shake your head. “No, Negan. You’re too good for me. And you’re gonna be a damn good father too.”

I smile and kiss you again before resting my forehead against yours. My fingers stroke your tummy gently. 

“Well...as the father of your...our child...I have one stipulation for the kid. He can have whatever he fuckin’ wants and I’ll die trying to get it for him.”

You playfully swat my shoulder. “Shut up, old man. You ain’t dying till you’re good and ready. You wear a leather jacket, you have Lucille, and your nutsack is made of steel, so you ain’t dying for at least another 50 years. You’ll be over 100 before you do.”

I laugh and kiss your head. “My nutsack is strong!…’specially considering I finally knocked you up! And, I ain’t an old man! I’m only 52!”

You laugh and roll your eyes. “Shut up, babe. What’s your stipulation for our child?”

I smirk. “No fuckin’ LEGOs. He can have anything else in the world. But no fuckin’ LEGOs. My foot and ass are gonna hurt for days.”

You giggle. “Awwwww. Poor baby! Do I need to kiss it and make it feel better?”

I laugh. “You wanna kiss my ass, babygirl, you go right ahead. But our kid ain’t getting LEGOs. Those fuckers hurt. And remind me to never piss you off again. Your threats are violent.”

“You love me anyway!”

I grin. “Yea. I do love you. That much is abso-fuckin’-lutely true!”

[imagining-supernatural]

The Airport

Part 24 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary:  You surprise Seb at the airport, eager to celebrate the good news from earlier. The next day, your demons rear up and send you spiraling again.

Word Count: 2,425

The crowd was making you nervous, but you tamped it down. It would all be worth it in a few minutes.

Sitting on the hard chair, you glanced up at the flight board, checking the plane arriving from Atlanta. It had arrived fifteen minutes ago and passengers were just now debarking. You tapped your fingers on the poster board Josselin insisted that you make. As soon as she heard you were going to surprise Sebastian at the airport, she ran out to buy supplies and the two of you (along with Brenda when she didn’t have patients) got covered in glitter and marker as you created your masterpiece.

Glitter now fell to the floor of the airport as you tap-tap-tapped the sign.

You knew there would be pictures. Your flashy sign with Sebastian Stan’s name on it was sure to draw attention. But somehow, you didn’t give a damn. You’d gotten good news this week and he wasn’t there to hold your hand. You weren’t about to waste another second without celebrating it with him.

Passengers started filtering out towards the bag carousel and you stood, waiting to see the short, dark hair you’d grown to love. As soon as you spotted him, you held the sign just below your face, not quite ready to hold it higher and draw even more attention.

Before he spotted you, he drew his phone to his ear and, a second later, yours started ringing. It was slightly awkward to hold the large poster board and grab your phone, but you managed it quickly enough.

“Hey honey,” you greeted.

“Hey. I just landed. I’m headed out to grab a cab. Should be home soon.”

“Cabs?” you asked, infusing your tone with disgust. “Aren’t those dirty? I bet you’d rather have Sean drive you, huh? Don’t wanna get that stylish tan leather jacket you have on dirty, do ya?”

His gait slowed and, even from this distance, you noticed his brow furl in confusion. It was a brief moment, then he started looking around. “You think this jacket looks good, huh?”

“I think the guy inside looks even better.”

You could see the exact moment he saw you. God, you wish you could have captured that smile on his face on film. Then his eyes slipped down to your sign and he let out a full-bodied laugh. Just the sound of it brought your own laughter and god it felt good.

The crowd between you was nothing as he pushed his way to you. A few feet in front of you, he stopped to study the sign. “Baby, how much glitter did you use on that Christmas tree?”

“Josselin,” you said, “Went a bit overboard. And pulled me and Brenda in with her. ‘Sides, I’m from Utah. You can’t go to the airport without seeing signs like these ones welcoming missionaries home. I drew on my memories of those. Glitter’s a staple in Mormon households and I had plenty of friends in the church.”

He chuckled, grabbed the sign from you to hold it to the side, and wrapped his other arm around you. “I love it.”

“I’m glad.” Pulling back just enough to look up at him, your smile took over your face. “I’ve been waiting to celebrate the good news Dr. Chowdhury gave us on Tuesday with you. Couldn’t wait for you to get home.”

“Can’t wait ‘til we get home either,” he murmured, dropping the thick poster board to the ground. It hit the floor and leaned against your legs with a wobble. Within the next moment, his hands were on your face, drawing it up to his.

There was a slight moment where you saw his eyes asking if you were okay with this, but you really didn’t give a damn about the paparazzi. You’d gotten good news and you were finally with the one person you wanted to celebrate it with. So you gripped his shirt in your fingers and raised up on your toes to press your lips to his.

You were never one for PDA, but you sure as hell weren’t one to break a kiss with Sebastian either. The entire would could go to hell for all you cared. You had a great shot at being cancer free in a month, a fuckin’ amazing husband to celebrate with, and life couldn’t get any better for you.

“Sean’s waiting outside,” you mumbled against his lips.

“Mmm… mentioning another guy… kinda kills the mood, sweetheart.”

With a giggle, you stepped out of his arms just long enough to direct him in the right direction. He wrapped an arm around your waist and grabbed your sign with his other hand. Your own arm found its place around his waist and you let him support most of your weight. Sure, you were still buzzing with excitement, but that didn’t negate the exhaustion your treatment was still causing.

“How’re you feeling? Feel up to grabbing dinner somewhere?”

“Mmm.” You considered for a moment. “Yeah. Long as I can get some decent pasta.”

He grinned down at your upturned face and pressed a quick kiss to your brow. “Anything for you.”

“Okay, girl, how are you and that sexy husband of yours so fuckin’ cute?”

Jasmin’s question made you laugh. “Did pictures from yesterday get posted?”

“I just sent you links. Seriously. You guys at the Met? At Thanksgiving? Now at the fuckin’ airport?” You put your phone on speaker and set it beside you. Maybe it was the exertion of surprising Seb at the airport yesterday, but you were so exhausted. Your entire body was pudding. Holding your phone up to your ear was hard enough. “Seriously, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you two got married for real. For, like, true love or some shit like that. Cause that’s what the pictures online make it look like.”

“True love. Like in Enchanted? Seb would be Giselle, and I’d be… whoever McDreamy plays. I forgot his name. Obviously I’m far too logical to be Giselle.”

“And Seb brought you into his wonderful, magical life of hope and optimism.”

“Oh, fuckin’ shut up. Don’t make this cheesy analogy worse than I intended it to be.”

“Since when are you two kissing, huh? Little Miss Independent? Little Miss I-Can’t-Let-Anyone-Into-My-Life-Because-I’ll-Ruin-Their-Lives? Little Miss I-Don’t-Need-Love—”

“Okay, okay, you can stop it right there.”

“Stop it right where?” She asked petulantly. “Right at looooove? Huh? Now why would you be touchy about that word? Gee, I wonder…”

“Okay stop this little bit you goin’ on. It’s not cute.”

You could just see her shit-eating grin from thousands of miles away. “Babe.”

“Babe,” you returned, glancing towards the door. Sebastian was working out. He wouldn’t join you at the hospital for another fifteen minutes at least. There was no way he would overhear this conversation. “I know what you’re getting at.”

“And?”

“And stop it. Look, I—” you cut off and took a deep breath to collect your thoughts and feelings. “I’m not stupid. I-I-I know this isn’t just… just a fake marriage anymore. Not really. There’s… there are feelings. And I’m not the best at feelings, but even I know that this isn’t really the best situation to, you know, develop actual feelings for people.”

“Shut up. Just shut up, Y/N.”

Geez. You’d never heard her so sharp.

“Look, Y/N. I love you. You know that. You’re my best friend—hell you’re practically my sister. And I know that the logical part of your brain has been analyzing every interaction you’ve been having with Sebastian and looking for any reason to yeet the fuck right out of his life as soon as you can to minimize damage, but take a fucking step back, babe.”

“To take a step back, I’d have to know where I’m actually standing.”

“Look at those pictures people posted from the airport, Y/N. Look at how Seb looks at you. How you look at him. He’s an amazing actor, but no one could fake that look.” She paused, probably for dramatic effect. “You know where you stand. Neither of you have the balls to say it yet, but you both know.”

You stared at the bag of chemicals being pumped into your body. What did it say about you that the only way to stay alive was to have chemicals pumped into your body that literally made your own cells attack each other?

“Babe?” Jaz’s voice broke through your thoughts. “You’re real quiet over there.”

“I’m just thinkin’.”

“Think out loud. I can’t help you if you’re silent.”

I think that’s the point. “I just guess I never really thought about what would happen when this is all over, you know? I let Seb con me into hoping it’d end well and that I’d have the surgery and I’d live… but I don’t think I ever really believed. Not until this week.”

“And? What do you want to happen?”

“I don’t k—”

“You do know. Y/N. You know. It’s just you and me here. What do you want to happen?”

“Jaz, it’s not that eas—”

“It is that easy, Y/N. After your surgery, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t kn—”

“Y/N!”

“I wanna stay here!” You gasped as soon as the words were out of your mouth.

“And?” Jasmin prompted quietly.

“I wanna stay with Seb,” you said, more quietly. “Holy shit.”

The silence was far too loud and, for the first time in this conversation, you were glad when Jasmin spoke. “Feels good to say it out loud, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, closing your eyes against the sudden head rush. “Yeah it does. Fuck. Shit, I think I’m gonna puke.”

Jasmin had the gall to laugh at you. “I’ve been waiting for you to fall in love with someone forever. You’ll never make fun of me for eating ice cream and watching Criminal Minds for two weeks after a breakup again.”

Breakup?

“Though,” she continued, “I sincerely believe that you won’t go through a heartbreak with Sebastian.”

“I need you to shut up right the fuck now, Jaz.”

“Look, babe, you know I’m your guide to self-realization. You can’t—”

“No, seriously Jaz. Shut up. I-I-I don’t know if it’s the conversation or the tumor, but my head is swimming right now. I’m…” You took in a deep breath, hoping it would help. It didn’t. “I think I need to… take a nap, maybe. Eat some food. Forget about all this emotional shit for a hot minute.”

“You’re not gonna forget.”

“I’m gonna sure as hell try.” You considered how long that would last and rolled your eyes. The motion caused the pain in your head to spike and you immediately regretted it. “Until I see his stupid face, I guess. Then it’ll all come right back.”

“Mmhmm. Well, take it easy, okay? All joking aside, I’m super happy for you and you know that my number one priority is seeing that cancer eat its own ass, right? Whatever else happens in your life, we can handle. Good or bad.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re the reason I stayed alive long enough to actually get out of Wyoming. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“You’re makin’ me blush, Y/N/N. Take a nap, okay? When you wake up, you’ll be back to your anti-emotional, super-logical self and the world will be right again.”

Her words forced a soft laugh from you, even as your eyes stayed closed. “Yeah, okay. Hey, I’m sure we’ll talk before then, but if we don’t… I’ll see you on the twenty-seventh.”

“Celebrating New Years in New York, bitch!” She crowed, punctuating her statement with a loud Wooo!

“New Years in New York,” you agreed, lips pulling up into a smile. “Just like we’ve dreamt of.”

Jasmin was quiet for a minute before she laughed. “Dreams do come true. You just got my dream of marrying a celebrity.”

And your dream of…

“I’ve never really had a dream.”

“We both got out of that shitty town. That was your dream. You got away from your family’s chains.”

“Did I?” You asked bitterly. “Fuckin’ reporters brought up that drama as soon as they figured out who I was. ‘Sides, Jaz… I have blood on my hands.”

“You didn’t have a choice”

“We always have a choice.”

“Your father had a choice. And he made the wrong choice every damn day.”

“I still took that choice away from him. Just like he did to me and my sister.”

“No, no, no, no. Babe, you are not going down this road again. Not now. You got amazing news earlier this week. Stop letting your dead dad ruin it.”

“My dead dad is dead because of me, Jaz.”

“It was self-defense, Y/N. Self-fucking-defense.”

This was definitely not the way you wanted your mood to go today, but you had years of practice going into this hole and your few months trying a healthier way with Sebastian just faded away. There was no crying baby to draw you from your thoughts. “There was no imminent threat. Self-defense wouldn’t hold up in court, Jaz. He was asleep. I should have just run away.”

“And leave your mom with him?”

This was an argument you and Jasmin had many times. She was the only person who knew the truth. Well, her and your sister.

You huffed heavily, ready to repeat your lines in the scene. “Well, she killed herself a few years later, so what does it fucking matter.”

You killed your abusive father, your emotionally distant mother killed herself, and your sister, who abused her own sons, killed her own abusive boyfriend.

God, why did you ever think you would end up any different?

A brittle, bitter laugh escaped your lips, sending a spark of pain from your head down to your chest. “I’m gonna take that nap now, Jaz. See you in a week.”

“Y/N, we are not ending this conversation like—”

You hung up your phone and immediately set it on silent.

It was just your luck to find an amazing guy, a guy who actually made you fall in love with him, and then realize at the last moment that you would never be able to deserve him. You would always be walking on glass, waiting for some latent gene to spark and turn you into a monster.

Yes, you wanted to stay with Seb after the surgery… but you couldn’t.

The original deal was to get a divorce after this was all over.

You had to make sure that’s what happened.

You guys didn’t really think I’d keep everyone happy forever, did you? And what about that bombshell about her killing her dad? Anyone see that coming?? Where will they go from here?

CHAPTER 25: THE COLLAPSE

[spaceskam]

it’s smarter to be lucky than it’s lucky to be smart

for @malexweek day 1: meet ugly! warning for mild violence

ao3

"How'd you like to make some money?"

Alex looked up over his drink to the set of pretty eyes across from him. They belonged to a face Alex knew well, a little older and a little more hardened than he remembered, but the eyes were the same.

"You sure know how to rope a guy in," Alex said, putting his drink down and smiling. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“I know how to rope you in,” he said, sitting down and leaning back, “So, you wanna?”

“I’m gonna need more information.”

“There’s this guy, he’s a collector,” Kyle said, looking around before leaning forward and raising his eyebrows, “You know, a collector.” Which was Kyle’s not-so-subtle way of saying he collected alien artifacts.

“Okay, and?”

“And I think you would benefit from him,” Kyle said. Alex snorted a laugh.

“No one’s listening, just spit it out,” Alex prodded. Kyle narrowed his eyes at him which just made Alex even more amused. He missed Kyle. You know, even if he was always scared of taking risks or getting his hands dirty. “Alright, I’ll do it, whatever it is. You clearly need help.”

Kyle took a deep breath to bury his annoyance.

“Tomorrow, 6 PM, I’ll text you the coordinates. Wear a suit.”

“Always.”

-

“A pen? You went through all this trouble so I could steal a pen?” 

Alex’s day job was working IT for a big, boring office building. His hobby was stealing from the guys who owned big, boring companies. He was a good con man, always had been. He hadn’t gotten caught since he was six and didn’t understand the concept of security cameras. So Kyle bringing him to an alien dinner party to steal a pen felt like a waste of his talent.

“It’s not just a pen,” Kyle hissed, grabbing him by the elbow and tugging him to the front door, "It's made of alien technology, it can help translate the thousands of pages we can't read."

"Why do you want to translate it? You sound like those guys who want to blow up the Sphinx of Giza to see what's inside," Alex told him, "Gotta have what's not ours, right?"

"Wrong," Kyle said, squeezing his arm. Alex grinned.

"I like it when you get all rough."

"Stop," Kyle groaned, "I need it because those papers are the last thing I have that might tell me where my dad is." Alex very quickly got serious.

"Okay," he agreed, "I can get it, don't worry."

"Thank you," Kyle breathed, letting him go before knocking on the front door of the large house that was already bustling with humans and aliens alike.

Shockingly, the owner himself, Michael Guerin, answered. He was just like the pictures: slightly tamed curls, a specially tailored paisley suit, and a charming smile tying it all together. A martini glass was in one hand, resting in a fist full of expensive rings. Alex knew those rings. He'd stolen some just like them from another rich alien with an ambiguous job. It was like their calling card. But this alien was much more attractive and his eyes immediately landed on Alex.

"Forgive me, I would know if you were in my invite list," he said, voice smooth and fitting.

"Well, I know who you are, Jay Gatsby," he said and Michael smiled wider, "Oh, sorry, Freudian slip."

“He’s my plus one,” Kyle interjected. Michael reluctantly gave him his attention. “You didn’t specify if there was anyone off-limits.”

“There isn’t,” Michael said, eyes drifting to Alex again, “And if there was, he would not be on that list.”

“Alex,” Alex introduced, deliberately excluding his last name. Michael nodded, looking him up and down slowly despite Kyle saying he was his plus one. Alex raised an eyebrow and Michael just hid his grin behind his glass as he took a sip.

“Come in,” he said after a few seconds of staring.

They walked into the house and Alex’s mind immediately started to calculate when would be the best time to sneak up the stairs and to his office where the pen was. Kyle had shown him a map of the place that he’d gotten his hands on. Up the stairs, hang a right, fourth door on the left. The pen was on his desk, probably, blending in with regular ones that looked just like it.

“So, Alex,” Michael said, leading the way towards the main room. Alex didn’t let his eyes linger on the stairwell or the balcony from the second floor that overlooked the large dining hall. It’d be harder than he wanted to sneak up there without someone noticing. “What do you do?”

“I work in IT at Pryze Inc,” Alex answered. Michael gave him an impressed look. “It’s just IT.”

“That’s where it starts, though, just IT. Give it a few years, you’ll be something great,” he said. Alex hummed, stepping past him to steal two champagne glasses from a caterers tray.

“I’m already something great.”

“I can believe that,” Micahel breathed.

“We all can,” Kyle agreed, accepting the second glass from Alex’s hand. They both took a sip and Michael looked between them.

That’s sort of how it went for the next hour. Alex made small talk and tried to find a good way to slip away. Michael eventually had to make nice with other people, but his eyes did stay on Alex for most of the night. It was a little more than infuriating. Did he know why he was here? Was that why he was watching him?

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, watch my drink,” Alex said, tilting his head at Kyle. He seemed to understand well enough and grabbed the glass from him. Alex dragged his hand over his arm as he passed, heading for the bathroom.

There were two options, he figured. Either the bathroom excuse would make Michael go the fuck away for long enough to let him get upstairs or, if it didn’t, make he could get Michael to show him upstairs himself. The man was clearly interested.

Alex checked himself in the mirror before pulling out a flask from his suit jacket pocket. He poured a little bit of acetone over his fingers and then dragged them over the underside of his jaw and then dabbed some on his lips. If Michael wasn’t going to leave him alone, he might as well distract him some other way.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, he saw that he made the right decision because Michael was still fucking lingering. He either knew exactly what Alex was here for or Alex was hotter than he even realized. Both were entirely plausible.

Alex walked right up to him.

“You’re not subtle,” Alex said. Michael grinned, his eyes drawing towards his lips and his jaw. Alex decided not to let his smug smile show.

“I’m rich, I don’t have to be.”

“Yeah, well, rich is boring,” Alex responded.

“You really believe that, Robin Hood?”

“I do.”

“Right,” Michael said, enunciating the word deliberately. Alex tilted his head.

“Why don’t you show me upstairs?” Alex asked.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Michael led the way and Alex looked over the banister to wink in Kyle’s direction. He gave a small smile of encouragement and Alex absorbed it, ready to woo this rich alien for long enough to steal the pen. Then he could leave and never deal with him again.

Alex became more sure than ever that Michael didn’t know why he was here whenever he took him directly into his office. It was pristine and well put together, something out of a movie set that didn’t factor in that most people left shit out on their desks in real life. There was a pen cup in the right corner. Four of them looked identical, but only one of those four had that distinct blue tint to the metal clip.

“Have you ever modeled?” Michael asked, “Because I think you would be fantastic at it.”

“Funnily enough, I never was interested in that,” Alex said, turning his back to the desk to make it seem like he hadn’t spotted the pen, “I’m more about brains.”

“So am I,” Michael agreed, stepping closer.

“Are you? I would never have assumed that. It seems you like the show of being rich,” Alex said easily. Michael shrugged.

“Maybe it’s just the best way to meet new people when you’re in my position,” Michael said. Alex eyed him.

“Maybe.”

He got closer and Alex waited for him to go in for a kiss. He knew he would. They always did. And, inevitably, he fell right into that trap.

He pressed into Alex’s space as he kissed him which made him stumble a step back against his desk. Perfect. Alex grabbed his jaw, holding him in place as he let him get a little intoxicated off the taste of his lips. It was just too easy.

Alex used that hold to switch places, pushing Michael into his own desk. He stepped between his thighs, all but holding him in place with one hand on the back of his neck and one on his jaw. Michael seemed to enjoy being manhandled which worked for Alex on more than one level.

It was a slow process. Alex kissed him, drawing out little, pathetic sounds. Alex grinned against his lips and slowly let go of his jaw. He kissed him harder and Michael grabbed his hips, pulling him in closer. Honestly, if he wasn't on a mission, he'd probably let himself get carried away. But, Alex was on a mission and he opened his eyes through it all, checking that Michael was completely distracted before memorizing where the pen was on the desk. He slowly started to edge his hand in that direction, pulling on Michael’s hair for good measure. He groaned in response.

It was a slow process, but Alex managed to slip the pen up his sleeve and hook the clip onto the little armband he had beneath his shirt. Too easy. Way too easy.

Alex kissed him for a few more seconds, but he stopped it when Michael’s hand started to wander.

“Probably a bad idea,” Alex breathed, “We should get back downstairs.”

Michael nodded, reluctantly letting him go. Alex was halfway to the door when he felt an outside force wrap around his arm and the pen was taken from him. Alex snapped his attention to Michael who was still leaning against the desk. He no longer had that kissed-out look on his face.

“You should know who you’re dealing with,” Michael said simply as the pen hung in the air between them. Alex stared for a moment before he dug his hand into his jacket pocket, putting out a little vial of yellow powder. He unscrewed it and tossed it in Michael’s direction easily.

“And you should know who you’re dealing with.”

In the few seconds that it took Michael to get over his shock, Alex dove forward and caught the pen before it hit the ground. Then he turned and quickly exited the room, slipping it in his pocket. Michael was right behind him.

Instead of heading down the stairs, Alex decided to save them both the troubles of making a scene and took a right. He ran down the hall, grinning with satisfaction, and Michael ran after him, decidedly less giddy. Sure, this technically was him getting caught, but Alex knew he was still going to get away. He always did. This was no different. Simply a temporary setback.

The last door in the hallway was a closet that apparently had a secret little latch that led to a set of stairs that led outside. The house was old enough to be built in a time where servants were commonplace and that was a nice way to make sure they didn’t directly interact with your company. Alex was going to use it as a getaway.

He quickly closed the door behind him once he got in there and shoved a conveniently placed umbrella beneath the doorknob. Alex was smiling ear to ear as he found the latch and ran down the steep staircase, taking them two at a time. Kyle would be outside with the car running, waiting for him to just jump in and they’d peel off. He just knew it.

However, when Alex busted through the door, Michael was standing in the way.

“How the fu‒” Alex started to ask without thinking. There was no way any human could make it all the way down the winding staircase and out the door and all the way to the side of the house in the same time it took Alex to get down those stairs. But, then again, he wasn’t human. So, instead, he stopped talking and just threw a punch.

“Alex!” Michael exclaimed, somehow shocked again, and Alex broke into a sprint towards Kyle’s car.

But the car wasn’t started. And Kyle wasn’t in it. He was outside of it, sitting on the hood.

“What the hell are you doing?! I got it, let’s go!” Alex said. But Kyle just gave a smile and shook his head. A feeling of dread slowly started pooling in his gut. Did he really let his childhood fondness for Kyle distract him from a fucking trap? Was that what this was? 

Alex turned and saw Michael coming closer, wiping his bloody lip with his thumb.

“You have good instincts,” Michael said as he neared them. Alex was already trying to figure out how he could get out of this. He could run down the street, maybe hide in the shed of one of the other rich people he lived near until the next morning and people wouldn’t be looking for him. “You think fast and you trust yourself. That’s a good quality to have.”

“This was a setup,” Alex said, whipping back around to face Kyle, “Why the hell would you set me up?!”

“Just listen to him,” Kyle urged, nodding his way, “You’re not in trouble.”

“You still set me up!”

“Yeah, set you up for an interview, one you clearly passed,” Kyle said. Alex’s eyebrows furrowed.

“An interview?” Alex asked. Kyle again gestured towards Michael. Alex slowly turned to face him again, feeling more confused than he cared to admit.

“I run a little underground business, so to speak,” Michael said, “I have a collection of alien artifacts, but it’s harder to get my hands dirty, so I have other people do it for me. Whenever I needed a new face, Kyle suggested you. And he was right. If I didn’t know exactly what you were stealing, I probably would’ve had no idea. And you still almost got away. I could use someone like you.”

“Sorry, I’m freelance,” Alex spat, feeling betrayed as he looked back to Kyle, “You could’ve told me what was going on.”

“If you knew it was a test, you would’ve gotten too cocky. I wanted to show him what you’re actually capable of,” Kyle said, “Don’t be mad.”

“You could quit your day job,” Michael said, “You could make this your full-time gig.”

“You’re a piece of shit, I don’t want to work for some guy who collects artifacts,” Alex said.

“Better than working for Pryze,” Michael pointed out.

Alex stared at him and then Kyle. He didn’t know what to say or how to feel about any of this. He still felt wronged, but also… 

“So what do you say,” Michael asked, “How’d you like to work for me?”

--

if you’re interested in this universe, it’s expanded a little more here :)

[cmescapade]

my long overview/review of ‘Star Wars: Journey to Batuu’ after forcing myself to play it almost nonstop

so i said i was going to amend what i said in response to this ask after playing to min/max shit so here is a tldr version of my opinion after playing:

I consider this pack to be a 2/10; It's enough to kill time as a temporary distraction, but not for long. There’s absolutely no replay value after going through all those missions as each outcome is ultimately the same by faction. There also doesn’t seem to be any negative outcomes for each prompt in the little “choose your adventure” pop ups--And if there is, it is extremely low since I have never gotten a negative outcome. 

The aspirations are fair, and are the only things I found in this pack that’s anyway redeemable since I believe the rewards can be used well in conjunction with general solo/super-sim gameplay.

kinda sat on this for a while bc i wasn’t sure if i should post something so lengthy but then i remembered this is my blog n i can post my left toe if i wanted to

even tho i would never post a pic of my left toe anyway

.......at least for free. With the right price, however....

anyway more details under the cut if you’re interested bc i like to ramble :))

I decided to split this into 5 sections to organize my thoughts a little better. I’ll be separating my thoughts on each faction, the ships as a rabbit hole, the faction missions, the star wars aspirations, and then the breakdown of my 2/10 rating. 

1. Factions

When you travel to Batuu, the game gives you a starting “mission” or quest to get you acclimated to the areas, and each area has a specific Faction associated with it.

And yes, you cannot live anywhere, nor are there any lots, as was already stated.

Every area has a similar makeup which has:

Control Panels

Supply Crates

1 non-rabbit hole area

1 interactable ship

The Black Spire Outpost is the biggest area and has:

Two places to grab food, three if you count the Cantina

Aside from the Cantina, the other areas are rabbit holes

The two eateries are:

Docking Bay 7

this one has the most food options

you’ll never go hungry in batuu because the cheapest items on the menu are Outpost Popcorn Mix and Water at 0 credits lmao

the other two foods not shown in the screenshot above are Yobshrimp Noodle Salad and Braised Shaak Roast

Ronto Roasters

This food place has two of the same options Docking Bay 7 has as well as two additional food items

Oga’s Cantina

The only area that you see the inside of

yea the bar serves batuu-only drinks too

also where you find the guy who would give you Scoundrel missions, Hondo Ohnaka.

You can essentially max your Scoundrel reputation without it hindering whichever side you wanna take, and you can keep it when you essentially max out your rep on either the Resistance or the First Order.

There aren’t any real pros to being a Scoundrel aside from some socialization interactions. It doesn’t do anything for initial Batuu gameplay aside from unlocking Scoundrel outfits in CAS and some upgrades for your droids, but this goes for all of your options (Resistance, First Order, & Scoundrel).

The Dwelling

This is a rabbit hole where your sim goes to sleep, pee, or shower… If not the closest bench. 

It’s located opposite to the Cantina. 

If you’re ever lost, there’s a spire you can sit/nap on right in front of it–or you can just wait till your sim wants to pee. 

they’ll automatically run there 

that’s… how i found it, tbh

Dok Ondar’s Den of Antiquities

Another rabbithole

This place sells items you can use to complete missions, like Dataspikes and a couple of Lightsaber parts

Majority of the inventory are decorative stuff to bring back with you

Savi’s Workshop

Right behind the antique shop is the lightsaber place where you can find more hilts, kyber crystals, and display cases for your lightsabers.

You can also click on the shop to start a lightsaber challenge.

Outside this area, you have the First Order District which has more supply crates and control panels than the other two neighborhoods, and a lot more activity–Makes sense since this is basically the hub for the First Order in general. 

There’s only the Droid Depot in this area, and the only real shop that has use for credits. Food wise, there’s a food stall, and if your sim is stinky or tired, they’d basically disappear for a few minutes to recharge and come back. 

Droid Depot

Each faction has specific Droid personality traits

Aside from “voices,” these personalities don’t do much

I guess the First Order one is a lot more zap-happy though

The Resistance Camp is even smaller. Like the other areas, it’s littered with supply crates, but only has one control panel and no shops. However, there’s a rabbit hole toward the back in the Caves.

This doesn’t lead you to anywhere interesting, and it’s just another ‘choose your own adventure’ kind of thing. 

2. Ships

In the Black Spire Outpost, you’ll find the iconic Millennium Falcon. You can do kessel runs and explore in the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca if you have a high Scoundrel reputation. 

However, although I said you get to ride with Chewbacca, you don’t ever see him come out 

He just kinda……………..stays there

and the prompts tell u he’s there

n ur gonna have to go with it and use the power of your imagination to believe he really do be there

In the First Order District, there’s the TIE Echelon, which functions the same way as the Millennium Falcon… But, you can’t do anything outside of exploring or using it for missions. This is how the X-Wing Starfighter in the Resistance Camp functions as well. 

It’s all pretty copy and paste, but w/e, that’s how EA does it  

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Missions

There may be several different missions per faction, but to no one’s surprise, they’re all literally the same one but worded differently.

Regular missions only have one plus (+) and one negative (-) icon

Regular Scoundrel missions only have one plus icon and no negatives since they don’t impact other factions

Each faction has a regular mission that pertains to:

Obtaining information

Exploring with the faction’s designated ship

Stealing from Supply Crates

Hacking a Control Panel

Yes��……………….They’re very repetitive

You don’t have to do all of them though

You can spam the same one over and over as long as it fits the time slot

For example, the Resistance’s ship exploration mission is limited to only the day time and seems to disappear when it gets late in game

also there’s an error with the TIE Echelon where it’s missing a whole ass prompt

……As you can see, the options make no sense because the prompt is the same one that came before it 🥴

anyway…

Story Missions are the only missions that seem to differentiate from each faction.

All missions that pertain to the “story” are indicated with prerequisites of higher ranks within the faction

All of them give a double boost toward your faction

If it’s a Resistance story quest, it’ll always increase hostility from First Order members

Vice versa for the First Order faction

The Scoundrels are neutral, and do not impact any faction 

It’s only the Resistance and First Order factions that have very similar plot lines

but I’m guessing it’s only like that since they’re supposed to follow the vague cause/effect the two of them have?

4. Aspirations

The initial Aspiration you get when you pick the Star Wars umbrella in CAS (or in game) is “Hope VS Order.” After completing this one aspiration, you unlock the 3 that pertain to each faction.

Paragon of Hope

Resistance aspiration

Reward trait gives a boost to Charisma skill building

This is probably nice for those careers that need Charisma to be high, like the Political and Business branches

Enforcer of Order

First Order aspiration

Lowers chances of “Death from Anger”

Since I like killing my sims, I think this aspiration is pointless lmao

Galactic Privateer

Scoundrel aspiration

“Sleight of Hand” reward trait

Unlocks pickpocketing outside of Criminal branch usage

Best one here tbh

Works outside of Batuu, you’ll steal simoleons instead of credits

Also you can cheat whenever u play Sabaac and no one will notice

5. Reevaluation of Initial Opinions

I’ll be going through my initial list from my Response to the Ask I got before. I originally stated that it seemed promising and it was a 3.5~4/10.

Aesthetics/Visual: my opinion is unchanged, it still made me sad i can’t have a little shanty house out there or rent a garbo lot, 0.5/5

The longer I played, the more I didn’t find any new animations

The lightsaber sparring slowly began to look like a mash between GF and RoM duels after a while

I still hate that the areas were beautiful (+0.5) but the interactive places forced cutaway

why do you wanna ruin my screenshots like this, man

CAS/BB still is hard to integrate–Unless your sim is a geek with figurines, the ship models might be nice to add to their collections

Otherwise……

….

I don’t have a follow up for that, sry

Gameplay: uhhh at least i found something i could use outside of Batuu, 1.5/5

I think that playing 3984729847 repetitive missions for a long period time really orientated me to the whole map

…but the fact that i had trouble the first time around still makes it not-user friendly

the issue I had with the resistance members not having an icon? It’s a thing, I guess

The resistance quests take you on a weird trip to “prove” yourself so i guess the icons are supposed to show that they’re “not” resistance members or something idk

they’re supposed to be the sneaky underdogs who wanna do good or w/e

I guess that’s immersive…….. +0.5

sry im first order trash

they also have “Ignite the Spark” and “Ask about Missions” both leading to the same mission screen……………….

convenience?? i guess??

missions are still confusing, made worse when the game itself glitches up a storm

there was one mission where i had to go to the cantina to find someone

and they wouldn’t spawn within the time frame………….

i had to go in and out for like 3 days until they actually spawned

i only knew this bc i arrested half the people in the cantina while i was bored

so anyone without a red bar was probably them lmfaoo

also, as i stated above……. there’s some mission errors in the prompts 

Currency is still worthless.

Everything can be done by purely stealing from supply crates

Credits are only worth to blow it off on sabaac! 

The only real need for credits is to have 1,000 so u can buy a droid

Then slam the rest of those credits on the table to bet bajillions on a game of sabaac!

Aspirations………. Useful +1

Despite them being sorta niche, they’re pretty decent

Can abuse the rewards for optimal gameplay for a super sim

Honestly i just love the pickpocketing reward off the Scoundrel aspiration, just because it works outside of Batuu (and that he didn’t have to be in the Criminal career for it either)

In total, my personal rating for this pack is 2/10.

It was nice, but I don’t really see this pack being replayable, considering that i did everything there was to do on Batuu in a single trip. Sure I could’ve taken my time, but since everything would end up the same anyway, it felt like it was set up to be a one-time gig. 

At least with JA you’re moderately forced to return so you can collect treasures that are RNG–In JtB, you can snatch up all that you need on Batuu from grinding everything like a nutcase. There’s also chances of failure in JA, but on Batuu that percentage is almost little to none. The most you’ll ever get is a dazed moodlet that barely lasts, a negative relationship, and being escorted to a loading screen.  

I feel like this pack could be a little better if there were more risks involved, but there are barely any that I encountered. It’s just another weird, rehashed cash grab by EA.